#derek morgan headcanons

[ddejavvu]

can i request a derek fic where readers also in BAU and they’re married and everytime someone says “morgan” both her and derek turn around or show up and the teams figuring out how to differentiate the morgan’s and dereks just all smug like “yeah she’s MY wife”

i love you’re writing btw!!!🩷

"Morgan?" Penelope calls from the kitchen, "You're scheduled for a retake of your ID photo today at 12!"

The responses she gets are a, 'What?' from you, and a, 'What'd you say?' from your husband. You blink bewilderedly at him, and relish the way that his grin lights up the room between you, like a sunbeam shot into your chest.

"Oh, not you," Penelope huffs, peering over the open door of the fridge to glance between you two, "I meant the pretty one!"

"That doesn't narrow it down, babygirl," Derek raises an amused brow at her, drumming his pen on the wood surface of his desk, "You talking to me or my wife?"

"Your wife!" Penelope all but snaps, "Derek, your ego is so inflated."

"It's your fault," You tease Penelope, who withdraws from the fridge with a can of soda and a slightly guilty expression on her face, "I seem to remember you answering just about a thousand of his phone calls with, 'Ahoy there, sexy'."

"Stop," She pleads regretfully, cracking the tab on her soda can with more force than she needs to, "Don't- stop! I didn't know you two were- were hitched! -were canoodling! I never would have talked about his abs if I'd known he was taken."

"It's okay," You promise her, and you really mean it, because you know for all of their sex-crazed banter, they're friends to the highest degree, and Derek is faithful to you. "Penelope, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't know how to paint nails."

"It's true," Derek nods, grabbing your hand to showcase the baby blue color he'd applied for you just yesterday, "You're my personal trainer, P.G."

She surrenders with a sigh, and you're glad that she seems to not harbor any real guilt, because you'd hate for her to be burdened with it. She leans in to peer at your hand Derek has on display, and when she looks closely at your ring finger, her nose scrunches in a grimace.

"You got it on her cuticles, Derek," She chides, disapproval apparent in her tone that makes your chest shake in a gleeful laugh, "Have I taught you nothing?"

[sundrop-writes]

I guess this is asking for your headcanons? But if you were to take everyone in the BAU (that you write for) and put them on a scale/list of most dominant to most submissive what order would you put everyone in?

I would consider this more of an MLT, but labels, labels whatever. Let's get to hoeing!!!

The Scale of Most Dominant to Most Submissive Criminal Minds Characters

Elle Greenaway - Hard Dom

Okay I feel like Elle and Emily easily compete for most dominant in this group, so I just put Elle's name at the top because I feel like she doesn't get enough attention in the fandom <3

But yeah - we all know that she serves cunt, takes shit from no one, and I cannot imagine for the life of me her taking orders from anyone - especially not in bed. She is on top at all times. She wears the strap in the relationship and she needs a partner who thrives with that.

Emily Prentiss - Hard Dom

Again, she is just - a boss bitch. She seeps dom energy from every pour, and I can't imagine her being submissive to anyone. She seeks out a partner who loves being bossed around, and she soaks up someone who follows her orders, right from the subtle first meeting - if she tells you to get her another drink or tells you where to sit down on a first date, then she will absolutely preen if you rush to follow her orders. She will bark for no one, but she will make you bark.

Derek Morgan - Soft Dom (very very rare Switch)

Derek as 'the playboy' feels like a natural dom of the group, and I definitely see that he would be dominant for most of the time during most sexual encounters - but I feel like that's not all there is to him.

First of all, he's not a hard dom. He's not someone who makes rules and plays hard BDSM - he is someone who is a very soft, loving dom - he will kiss all over your body and do body worship, and he loves teasing and whispering sweet dirty talk into your ear. He likes to be in control, but he loves every minute of the ride to be pure, honey-sweet pleasure - he wants your legs quivering, and he wants you to remember the feeling of his tongue on your skin if you lock eyes with him on a Monday morning.

It's very rare that he gets rough. And it wouldn't be because of his own rage, it would be because he thinks that you need it - because your body is asking for more, or your mind needs to be shut off with a good, rough fuck. And when it gives it to you, it leaves you aching in the best way possible.

But he also has another side that people very, very rarely see. (Like I have said about characters like Hank Hall and Dick Grayson) - these big burly guys with a lot of trauma can be submissive, but it's something they hold back for when they are with someone that they deeply, deeply trust. It's never for casual hookups or even casual friends with benefits sex. It's for a loving, long term relationship where you have talked out all the trauma with them, and you deeply understand all of their most fucked up emotional hang-ups.

It's then that he feels safe enough to turn his body over to you completely - to lay back and let you do whatever you want with him. And even then, it's rare. It's when he's had a very hard day at work, and he just wants to lay back and shut his mind off, and he trusts you to help him do it.

Jennifer Jareau - Switch (Loving, Soft Dom/rare needy Sub)

As I have said in this post - JJ is a switch. That's my truth. But also as I have said in that post, she is bossy as hell (affectionate) - so I feel like it takes a very special type of person to dom her. Someone 10x more bossy. She loves the feeling of being dominated and it gives her that euphoria, and she can trust someone to do it if she has been dating them for a short time - but they have to be very powerful, and very bossy to overcome her natural dominance and her natural bossy streak.

Otherwise, JJ defaults to being the dominant one in the relationship because she is so used to being dominant in every other area of life - she knows what she wants and she isn't gonna waste time trying to get it. But again, she isn't into hard rules and BSDM, she is just into worshipping you and maybe some teasing. I talk about it more in that other post.

Spencer Reid - Needy Sub (very very rare Soft Dom)

So I am a Sub!Spencer truther.

Mostly because I feel like Spencer would naturally unconsciously seek out a partner who is more dominant in all areas of life, not just in the bedroom, because Spencer needs the guidance and caring of a dom - like... can we talk about how he didn't have any proper parental figures growing up because his father abandoned him and he took care of his sick mother for most of his life so he's never truly been 'taken care of' even as a child, so he would fucking looove the chemical euphoria of being taken care of by a dom, not just sexually but during after care and with casual dominance in all aspects of life.

Also, Spencer is that thing 'you like dominant women, not because you're a sub but because you're autistic and you like clear, direct instructions' - I mean he is definitely a sub, but he also LOOOVES the direction, clear instructions and how it makes things easier for him as an autistic person.

But if Spencer somehow ended up with someone who is a not a dom and didn't take care of him 24/7, including during sex, then he would becoming the dominant partner during sex just out of pure need. (In my opinion). I think that he's very, very touch seeking. He is needy. So if his partner doesn't initiate sex, or doesn't clearly communicate that they want sex (again, he's autistic) - then Spencer will initiate touches and seek out sex and touching and become this more dominant force just to fuel his own intense, passionate need to touch you. Not just because he's sex hungry, but because he's generally touch-starved, and he has such an intense passion for you specially that he wants to be touching you all the time, and his desperation and need comes off as more dominant and controlling.

I don't think he would ever be the type of dom to make rules, or have a degradation kink toward you, or anything like that. He can't even deny you an orgasm because if you ask to cum, then needs to see you cum. He is a pleasure driven dom 100%.

(Anyway, that's all I have for now lmao.)

[spritehouse]

i just saw a tiktok abt "you're in the wind, i'm in the water. nobody's son, nobody's daughter" as a trans person from both perspectives feeling like a disappointment as all genders and you best believe i'm going to moreid/ralvez the fuck out of this.

[swtnrcmnt]

any type of derek morgan headcanon or fic, no one writes for him

୨୧ — d.m relationship headcanons

i got u !! derek is my bae and i agree literally nobody writes for him 😭 here are some headcanons 💘

- totally came up to you because he saw you somewhere, thought you were cute, and decided to flirt

- like there’s no other way you could’ve met

- he’s absolutely the sweetest boyfriend though, despite seeming like a fuckboy

- which he honestly is but once he finds you he can’t even imagine himself with another person

- the team also can’t believe that it’s possible for derek to be so soft ??? like they’ve never seen him so lovestruck

- absolutely goes all out on any sort of special occasion, specifically your birthday, anniversary, and valentine’s day

- like he will deck out the whole house in red rose petals and heart balloons for valentine’s

- and there’s no way to argue around it with him. once he has even the slightest idea of what he’s gonna do for that spexial event he’s already got penelope putting in an order for 100 roses

- hates to admit it, but he absolutely loves whatever music you listen to if it’s not rap or hip hop music

- like he will throw a fit because you want the aux, but will start singing along ??

- he’s the biggest softie to you though

- and he absolutely hates when the team catches his soft side (especially spencer) because he will not hear the end of it because he’s the designated fuck boy of the team

- is the most protective boyfriend in the universe, especially if you work in the bau alongside him

- not in the overbearing, obsessive kind of way though !! he loves independent women 🤞

- like the unsub so much as looks in your direction he’s all up in his face

- and if you ever get hurt, even if it’s in the slightest way, he will not let you in the field until you’re completely 100% healed and ready to get back to work

- babies you 24/7 and would tease you for the smallest things

- you throw a fit because you’re sick and he refuses to let you have ice cream? he will be mocking you for hours while he enjoys ice cream in front of you

- a pain in the ass for that tbh ^^

ok that’s all anon ! i hope u like this 💘

[bonkers-4-hatter]

@sacredwarrior88 asked: To celebrate my birthday today, may I please request headcanons for Hotch, Derek, and Spencer having a female S/O who owns a bar that’s famous for selling special drinks based off certain characters like this?

Of course!!!! I know I already told you, but Happy Birthday! I hope you had a great one!!! I hope you enjoy the headcannons hun!! <3 <3 <3 You're amazing! :)

--

Headcannons with !Female S/O that make drinks around their personalities:

Hotch (The Black Manhattan):

You were closing up the bar for the night, you decided to close early since Aaron said he was leaving work early.

He recently closed an intense case and you were glad he was listening to your advice of taking a break before jumping into more work.

The front door of the bar opened and Aaron walked through locking the door back up and made his way toward you.

You noticed his feet dragged a little bit making you worry.

"Hey there handsome, sit down I got the thing you need."

He smiled softly at you and sat at a barstool.

You started to pull out ingridients and glasses. You saw the perplexed look on his face.

"I know that look Aaron, we can talk about it at home, for now let me make you a drink, something new I thought of. You'll like it."

You can see his eyes analyzing the ingridients in front of him. "Coming up with a profile for the drink I'm making?"

He gave a short laugh. "Something like that Y/N."

I grabbed a glass and filled it with ice, adding Rye, Amaro, Aromatic Bitter, Orange Bitters and stirred. Aaron had a relaxed look on his face as he watched me work.

Straining the liquid in a double old fashioned glass, I garnished it with an orange peel on top and slid it out to him on the bar top.

"One Black Manhattan on the house"

Aaron thanked me and took a drink.

"It's an elegant drink that has a bittersweet taste, but the aftermath leaves your mouth sweet and wanting more...kinda like you Aaron."

He laughed finishing the drink. "It was a great drink Y/N, can I give you a tip?"

"Sure?" I wasn't sure where he was going until he leaned over the bar top and kissed me.

Spencer (Lemon Lime & Bitters):

It was late, about 3:00 AM and you were cleaning up from a busy Saturday night. You let your two employees go as your boyfriend Spencer said he was coming to help you close up.

A soft knock on the front entrance made you look up.

Spencer was there with a smile on his face waving. I went and let him in giving him a hug as I closed and locked the door.

"Thank you for helping Spence! You're the best!"

"Of course Y/N, I'm sure you're exhausted after tonight. I wanted to make sure you got home safe and I didn't want you alone here."

You smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the bar.

"Take a seat, I'll whip up a drink for you, and yes, it'll be 99% non-alcoholic, I promise."

Spencer smiled happy you remembered he was taking new medication and couldn't really drink.

"This drink reminds me of you, but since you love your puzzles, I'll let you try to figure it out as I make it."

He smiled as I started to gather my ingridients. I saw his eyes glancing at the labels and I could practically see the gears turning in his cute little head.

I fill a glass to the top with ice, chopped a lime in half and squeezed the juice of half of it into the glass. Then, I filled the glass with lemonade then topped it off with five drops of Angostura Bitters before stirring and adding a slice of lemon and lime.

Sliding the drink over to Spencer, I gave him a warm smile. "Here we go, one Lemon Lime and Bitters on the house for one cute special agent."

I saw his cheeks flush. "Thank you Y/N." I watched as he took a drink as he let our a sigh.

"It's really refreshing and kind of sweet with the lemonade."

"It reminds me of you Spence. Someone who's refreshing, sweet and pretty to look at."

I laughed as his face turned beet red.

Derek (Cuban Old Fashioned):

It was winding down at your bar as a familiar face walked in. It was none other than Derek himself with a swagger in his step as usual.

"Hey babygirl!" His voice was loud and proud as the few stragglers looked up at him as I waved back a goofy smile on my face.

I ran around the bar and hugged him, as he hugged me back. "Alright, you guys gotta go, my girl needs to close up."

The few stragglers who were intimidated by him followed his instructions as they slugged off thorugh the front door which I closed and locked up.

Turning to Derek, I put my hand up to my forehead and 'swooned'. "Oh, my hero." He laughed at my dramatic display before cleaning up the tables the stragglers were at and flipped the chairs upside down so the cleaning crew could sweep.

I was finishing some things behind the bar as he slipped into one of the barstools, his eyes following me as I cleaned.

"Ya know, it's rude to stare at a bartender when shes not making you a drink." He laughed and looked me up and down. "Then how about makin' me a drink babygirl?"

I roll my eyes but get some ingridients out. "One mystery cocktail coming up...wanna take a guess at what I'm making mr. profiler?"

I take a cocktail shaker out and add bourbon, simple syrup, fresh lime juice and Angostura bitters. Filling it with ice, I pop the top on and shake it all vigorously.

I did a few tricks with the cocktail shaker, flipping it, shaking it behind my back, all the pretty things to get you extra tips.

Grabbing a chilled coupe glass, I strain the mixture into the glass and top it with some Prosecco and garnished it with fresh mint leaves. Sliding the drink over to Derek, I blew him a kiss.

"Here you handsome, one Cuban Old Fashioned. Wanna take a sip and see why I think this drink is you?" He grinned and took a sip as he let the flavor linger like I taught him to do. He had a puzzled look on his face. "Okay, I give, tell me what this is me Y/N."

"Well, it has a complex flavor mixture that makes you taste something different each time, but underneath it all, it has a sweetness that's addicting and once you have a taste, you're always coming back for more."

Derek downed the rest of the drink and bit his lip looking at you from across the bartop. "Better hurry and close up babygirl, becuase I'm about to show you something else that comes back for more...and more...and more."

You've never closed up the bar faster in your life after those words were said.

[whereireid]

˚ · . 𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍

request here ! ⭑ smut | ♡ fluff | ✄ angst

𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒 ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

⭑ — size differences. (coming soon)

synopsis... derek is just so much bigger than you, and he never lets you forget it.

[chin-chilla-7]

Gender and Sexuality Headcanons - Criminal Minds Characters

These are my sexuality and gender headcanons for the main BAU team from Criminal Minds. My sources are me: a queer and trans person. All right, let’s get into it.

Aaron Hotchner

I see him as bi, but it’s not something he really thought about until after the divorce.

He and Hayley were highschool sweethearts, he really didn’t need to think much about his sexuality.

And he thought it was normal to think guys looked good. He can tell when someone’s attractive, doesn’t mean he’s attracted to them.

Even though in this case, he was.

For gender, I guess cis? If you ask him, that’s what he’d tell you. He uses he/him pronouns. He’s very confident in his masculinity and he likes it.

But it’s also not something that really matters to him and who he is, ya feel?

Spencer Reid

He’s trans and bi.

Basically had to raise himself to begin with, and learn how to care for his mother while raising himself that adding trans care to the mix was something he had to put off until he was eighteen.

Though, this does mean that he’s read a lot of trans-care articles in the time he couldn’t put his research into action.

Because he’s felt like a boy since elementary school. It’s just something that made sense to him so he went with it.

Derek Morgan

He has the potential vibes to be trans, you know what I mean? I personally like both sides of this for him, so I’m not hard stuck one way or the other.

I do see him as presenting straight, preferring to appear straight even though I think he’s also probably bi.

Despite being bi, he most likely leans towards women more often than not. This is both due to preference and a little bit out of fear of being with a man.

I think he’d have to really trust the man if he followed through with those feelings. 

Emily Prentiss

She is a lesbian.

Men do not interest her. She does not care about men. She does not care to date men.

She’s pretty open about it when you ask, but it’s not something you’d probably suspect from her (but also she had that goth phase in high school-)

Gender-wise, I’m open to the headcanon of her being a trans-woman! Honestly I think that’s iconic. But, like Morgan, I’m not really hard stuck one way or the other.

J.J.

Bi. She’s dated a few women in her past.

She does, though, really only give me cis-women vibes.

Anyway, it’s not something she really talks about cause it’s not really a ‘thing’ for her.

She dates who she dates, and it she doesn’t make a big deal out of it.

David Rossi

Okay David. He’s like - he’s never been intimate with a man, but there’s a certain emotional intimacy that he shares with some guys that give fruity vibes, you know what I mean?

So technically, he’s straight because he’s never slept with a man, but there’s vibes there is all I’m saying.

Also a cis-man. He’s too old nowadays to care about that.

Penelope Garcia

Okay queen. I think she’s pan. She loves and she loves and it doesn’t matter who you are (unless you’re mean and nasty and hate kitties) she has a lot of love to give.

And she gives she/they energy, you know what I mean? They like being girly, but it’s in a fun, androgynous way.

The most fluid with their gender out of the group. Again, a queen.

[ashes-writing]

Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds) headcanons request! :) Um... centered around things he'd do for Y/N's birthday... (or the inverse, things he'd like done for his b-day)

Ahhh omg thank you! I enjoy writing for Derek even if I haven't really gotten used to him just yet. This was so much fun to write out and I hope you like it!

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff. That's it.

Tagging: -- there's nobody on my criminal minds tag list at the moment.

Other Stuff: tag list link || pinned- my rules || requests; open, headcanons only for now please and thanks.

I do not consent to my work being reposted/rewritten and changed without credit.

✯ I feel like Derek is the kind of man who rarely ever forgets a life event, whether it be birthday, anniversary, etc. I mean, it’s happened maybe one or two times if that. I also feel like he’s planned everything out at least a week in advance if not further. Now given his line of work, whether those plans see fruition or not, yeah.. But if something arises, I feel like he’ll come home, half jet-lagged with the takeout you love and some ridiculous extra thing like say… a cupcake with a single candle in it. And profuse apologies that you scoff away because you know it can’t be helped, it comes with the job.

✯ He loves giving gifts more than getting them. It’s just one of his major love languages. And the gifts are always special or sentimental in nature. Very thoughtful and well thought out. Like he finds out that you had a comfort object when you were a kid but it’s been lost, he’ll do whatever he can to either have it recreated or find something similar. 

✯ The fastest way to this man’s heart is through his stomach. If you’re going to do anything for him on his special day might I suggest a meal in bed? Or finding out what his go to comfort food is and surprising him with it when he comes in from a long flight and his mind is just.. Filled with the horror of whatever he’s just had to deal with / solve to help someone else. Food. If you wanna give the man anything, give him a home cooked meal.

✯ This goes two ways. I feel like on your birthday/whatever the occasion, he starts it off with a full home cooked breakfast, complete with your coffee/drink of choice exactly the way you’d take it. The man can cook. He can throw down in the kitchen. So he likes to cook for the people he cares about. What’s really surprising is that he’s taken up baking (a coping mechanism, hehe) and he’s gotten pretty damn good at that. He’s feeding you throughout the day, by the way. He’s a firm believer in food being a big part of any sort of celebration process. 

✯ Very very affectionate. Also a bit of a practical joker. So he’s been known to get the restaurant staff of where ever he happens to take you to serenade you on your birthday. He’s also the type to call it in to your local station of choice and have them play your favorite song. He does it early in the morning so that the song is the first thing you hear when you wake up.

✯ I said above that he remembers every occasion even if he can’t be there. I meant it too. I feel like if he’s stuck in another town, away from you, he will video call. And you guys will eat your ‘traditional birthday meal’ while on video call, via candlelight on both sides of the line. It’s cute. So cute.

✯ Back to the practical joker thing.. I feel like he’s totally the type to give you a joke gift -but it’s not bad. It’s actually as meaningful as the gift itself. It’ll reference some obscure inside joke you share with each other. It’ll make you laugh. It’ll blow you away half the time because it’s just so sweet and so him..

✯ On the times he’s just barely missed the plans he made, he makes it up to you. He’ll do what I said above and the next day, if he’s off, it’s a lazy day laying around. Your favorite movies or  tv shows playing in the background. Slow dancing in the kitchen to the song he’s called in to the dj when he’s bleary eyed and fresh off the quickest flight back the night before. He makes it up to you, believe that.

[reidsc0nverse]

pov your instagram when dating spencer reid pt 4

Liked by paparossi, princesspennyg, and 193 others

(y/n) i think derek got fed up with his statistics...

View all 25 comments

spencerreid1 This was frightening to say the least.

-> emilyprenty Maybe stop giving us daily lectures on a topic we brought up one time

-> paparossi @/emilyprenty I second that

derekm This is also me after he wins EVERY card game we play

-> (y/n) did you know there's a mathematical equation to every card game that guarantees the chances of winning 🤓☝️

-> jjareau not you too y/n..

-> spencerreid1 She's actually not wrong.

AaronHotchner I hope this isn't what you guys do when I'm not on the field with everyone

-> (y/n) 🤷‍♀️

Liked by katecallahan, hotboylukealvez, and 174 others

(y/n) finally convinced him to read og fairytales and watch the movies afterward

View all 23 comments

spencerreid1 ❤️

derekm Reid definitely seems like a rapunzel guy

-> (y/n) his favorite was actually belle

-> emilyprenty @/(y/n) shocker

jjareau Now you've just gotta show him Twilight

-> (y/n) that's next 🤭

princesspennyg This is so cute!!!!!

-> (y/n) until right after the movie he started telling me all the inaccuracies were in it compared to the story

-> paparossi Dont sound too surprised

Liked by derekm, AaronHotchner and 232 others

(y/n) i might've gotten a little carried away

View all 31 comments

emilyprenty that should've been me

-> (y/n) come over.

-> derekm @/spencerreid1 you're just gonna let this happen??

-> spencerreid1 I've come to realize there's nothing I can do.

jjareau And to think we thought he'd never get any action

Liked by alexblake, princesspennyg, and 184 others

(y/n) found this gem going through my pictures, it was too good not to post

View all 29 comments

emilprenty JUMPSCARE WARNING

-> (y/n) ⚠️

-> paparossi After the 30 something years I've worked in the FBI, this is probably the scariest thing I've seen

-> spencerreid1 :(

spencerreid1 Why does Derek look like he's going to kick you down like one of his doors?

-> (y/n) HAHAHAHAHAHAH DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOKE SPENCER REID???

-> derekm at least i don't look like sixth grader at his graduation of middle school

-> (y/n) @/derekm yeah and you look like his bully that steals his lunch money

what other things do you guys wanna see? there's a bunch of stuff i can do similar to this just lmk!!!

[ddejavvu]

m.list - derek morgan

blurbs:

coworkers to lovers with derek

derek falling for hotch's daughter

hooking up with derek while drunk

derek visits you in the hospital

losing your virginity to derek

meeting derek's team

telling derek you're a virgin

getting stuck in a cell with derek

derek gets you ice cream

soulmate au with derek

derek finds out his girlfriend is rossi's daughter

derek spoils you on valentine's day

dilf!morgan x plus size!reader

derek would still love you if you were a worm

derek x ghost!reader

derek likes your perfume

moreid make you nervous in the interrogation room

you and derek have the same last name

[sabage101]

Card declines at therapy and they bring out the parents of the boy who was alive yesterday

[parkersbliss]

your instagram when dating spencer reid

inspired by @/happiesthotch @/hotchaways :)

Liked by garciagirlie, alexblake and 374 others

ssa(y/n) love his clown feet 🫶🏼

view all 27 comments

spencephd love her baby feet ❤️

rossisrotini I didn’t know they could be nice to each other

→ jjareau she texted me after posting this and said he slam dunked her with a pillow

→ ms_emilyp @/ssa(y/n) use two exclamation points if you need help

→ ssa(y/n) HELP‼️‼️‼️‼️

→ agenthotch wheels up in 20, you heard her

d.morgan oh to see pretty boys feet

→ ssa(y/n) my eyes only 😡😡

→ spencephd im not sure how to feel about this

→ garciagirlie I could get you photos of lots of feet

→ agenthotch I think we need to have a talk about this

→ garciagirlie i meant my feet with fresh new nail polish* 😁

→ agentahotch 😐

liked by therealellew, jjareau and 427 others

ssa(y/n) pov garcia & morgan are on the phone

view all 33 comments

garciagirlie where’s my chocolate thunder

→ d.morgan right here baby girl 😏

→ spencephd we can’t escape them

→ ssa(y/n) but we can do worse ;)

→ ms_emilyp @/agentahotch do something about this

→ agenthotch no

rossisrotini I beg of you both to not become like them

→ spencephd now you’re just tempting us to do worse 🤷‍♂️

→ ssa(y/n) I await those glorious hands of yours, doctor

→ jjareau what have we started

→ ssa(y/n) ITS FOR A MASSAGE CHILL 😭

→ d.morgan could’ve fooled me tbh

liked by itsmattsimmons, d.morgan and 503 others

ssa(y/n) someone didn’t pass the physical fit test

view all 17 comments

d.morgan is he looking for a trainer 👀👀

→ garciagirl no. never again with you.

→ spencephd literally leave

→ jjareau we’re doing just fine without you 😘

ms_emilyp reid looking to outrun his paperwork

→ ssa(y/n) more like reid running to catch some bitches

→ spencephd so I’m chasing after you?

→ ssa(y/n) 😡😡

agenthotch who’s not doing paperwork 🤨

→ rossisrotini exposed like the lazy kids you are

liked by spencephd, agenthotch and 292 others

ssa(y/n) got my bitch <3

view all 19 comments

Spencephd 😐

→ ssa(y/n) notice how you didn’t correct me

→ spencephd can’t even tie her own shoes smh

→ ssa(y/n) LMAOOO that’s what you’re for SIMP

garciagirlie the love birds are at it again

→ jjareau love birds sounds more like enemies these days

→ d.morgan isn’t that the fun in it?

→ ssa(y/n) yes, he literally just threw the shoe at my face 😇

rossisrotini @/agenthotch got another case for ya

→ ms_emilyp that’s the sound of the police reid 🚨

→ spencephd you know statistically, it takes the police an average of 7 minutes to get to the scene. I could be long gone by then.

→ d.morgan I can hear him through my phone

→ spencephd :)

liked by alvarezluke, rossisrotini and 338 others

ssa(y/n) candid of my favorite nerd 🤭

view all 31 comments

spencephd I’ve been exposed 😟

→ ssa(y/n) wanna be exposed in a different way?

d.morgan looks like we got competition @/garciagirlie

→ garciagirlie 😏 been exposed for years to you baby

ms_emilyp 🤢 I’m moving back to london fr

→ jjareau take me with 🙏🏼🙏🏼

→ garciagirlie GIRLS TRIP

→ ssa(y/n) LETS GO

→ ms_emilyp not you ❤️

rossisrotini 🥂 cheers you two but keep it in your pants

→ ssa(y/n) hard to when he’s this fine 😫

→ spencephd actually die

agenthotch this is what we call a hostile work environment

→ d.morgan you weren’t even there for that hotch

→ agentahotch I have my ways

→ garciagirlie please don’t bring back such traumatizing memories

→ jjareau clearly we need to have this conversation again

— END —

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a/n finally got around to writing some criminal minds stuff 😫

[amekeii]

Criminal Minds Characters as Cocktails

SPENCER REID - ESPRESSO MARTINI vodka vanilla | coffee liqueur | brown sugar syrup | espresso

AARON HOTCHNER - OLD FASHIONED bourbon | sugar | angostura bitters | orange twist

EMILY PRENTISS - AVIATION gin | maraschino liqueur | simple syrup | lemon juice | crème de violette | cherry

DAVID ROSSI - NEGRONI campari | gin | sweet vermouth

PENELOPE GARCIA - PORNSTAR MARTINI vodka vanilla | passoã | passion fruit puree | pineapple juice | passion fruit half | prosecco

JJ JENNIFER JAREAU - GIN & TONIC opihr gin | yuzu tonic | lime wheel

DEREK MORGAN - MAI TAI dark rum | white rum | orange curacao | almond syrup | lime juice

PART 2

[beelmons]

BAU men salsa dancing headcanons

Rossi is surprisingly good at it, although his movements are more on the stiff side. He does mostly the basic steps, like an uncle dancing at a wedding. He will spin you once or twice and even pull one of those leaning endings just as a show off.

Hotch is stiff, like, spaghetti before boiling stiff. The first time he dances, it's an awkward mess, although he grasped the steps pretty quickly. The second time, he is just as stiff but with more technique, he probably took a salsa class on the side. Basic steps only, playfully spins you off beat just so he can hug you, has a blast because he sees you have a blast.

Morgan is good, mad good. He will know how to spin you, cha cha cha, drop it and reverse it. He was probably forced to learn when Garcia was too shy to go to a class by herself, and surprise, surprise, he was excellent at it. If you are not careful, he might be even better than you. Can take it slow and simple if that's the mood, he is just happy to shake his but a bit.

Spencer knows the origins, raise, and fall of salsa dancing. He knows the names of all the steps by heart, and even the speed at which his body should move. Little problem? It just doesn't. He stumbles and steps on feet time and again, he won't look up from looking at his feet as he recites what the movements are supposed to look like. When he finally relaxes, he can sort of do it well, it's awkward and very basic, it's more you taking the lead, spinning him, and moving his arms, but it's nonetheless fun. He also has a last although he ended up breathless.

Luke is effortless, my man is latino, so you know he was peer pressured into learning growing up. He sings while he dances and will always take the lead. He prefers the simple, more casual steps, though if he gets lost in the music, he will begin to show off. He definitely smiles the entire time like a good performer, and will even do the 'two at a time' steps if any of the girls join you om the dance floor.

Matt is similar to Rossi, he got some of the steps down, but won't go as far as doing over complicated spins. He is elegant and less stiff, since he is tall, like, very tall, it looks a bit clumsy, but he always enjoys himself when he is dancing. He will, however, get tired pretty quickly, even when he is used to all types of cardio, the dancing just takes too much brain effort.

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Derek: There's only one thing worse than dying

*Derek pulls back paper revealing the word "Spencer"*

Emily: Reid

Hotch: No!

[ssadumba55]

Hotch, Morgan and Reid Helping their Female!S/O with Cardiac Arrest

Request: Hello my awesome friend 😊 Happy Holidays! May I please request headcanons for Hotch, Derek, and Spencer reacting to their female S/O suffering from cardiac arrest while out in the field with them?

A/N: I hope this is accurate as possible, I did a little bit of research but I don't know how much of this is accurate

TW: Mentions of Cardiac Arrest, Medical talk

Hotch

The moment you start to feel strange, you bend forward, clutching your chest feeling dizzy and he's at your side. He's worried for a moment that you got shot.

He has training in first aid and knows how to handle this situation obviously

Since you're not unconscious he'll probably pull you with him out of the field and call 911, allowing the others do the takedown without the two of you

And he'll sit with you the entire time to make sure you don't get worse

If you do get worse or start to pass out he will try and keep you awake until the ambulance comes

He will definitely get a little panicked but he won't let that show, he's really good at compartmentalizing his feelings, and he'll do that to put on a brave face for you

When you wake up in the hospital, he will be the first face you see and he'll definitely ban you from takedowns for a while

Derek

He will not immediately understand what's going on, it will probably take a few minutes for it to register but when it does he leaps into action

He catches you as you're stumbling and he's yelling at someone to call 911 because his arms are full of you

But the worse you look the more impatient he'll get and he'll just end up taking you himself, and yes, he does ignore the traffic laws despite being a decorated FBI agent

At least you make it to the ER in record time

He's probably going to be pacing that waiting room until they come to tell him that you're okay

He's the type that once you're feeling better he'll scold you and tell you not scare him like that again, he really thought you were a goner for a second

And he will push your hair out of your face and sigh in relief

Spencer

Reid notices you're out of it before you even really notice it yourself, he notices the way you start to sway and the look on your face as your chest starts to hurt

And he asks you what's wrong. The two of you aren't even on a takedown you're just on your way to interview someone

When he sees you start to wince more in pain, he will insist you sit down somewhere

He will administer CPR if the need arises, he has every first aid book he's ever read

And he'll talk to you the whole time, telling you what he's doing and making sure you're aware of what's going on

He will call the team and get you to official medical help, once he's certain he's done all he can do to keep you afloat

But he steals all your Jell-O in the hospital as compensation for keeping you alive