#derry & the losers wouldn’t have stood a chance

[ravennazane]

“Got any lasagna, Georgie?” 

[ Pennywise adopts Garfield the cat ] 

[plus-size-reader]

Out of His Mind

Henry Bowers x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1669 words

Warnings: language?

Summary: Henry has a crush. 

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It should have come as no surprise to anyone that you were the way you were.

After all, living with Patrick your whole life meant that you figured it out or he would have probably smothered you with a pillow by now. It was no secret that Patrick was standoffish and violent, everyone in all of Derry knew that.

What they didn’t know was that he, in no way, rivalled your hatred of the entirety of the human race.

The two of you were clearly related through that alone, though that was about as far as the similarity went.

Where Patrick was a textbook psychopath, deriving joy from any form of suffering, you didn’t seem to find it in anything. You were just angry all the time.

As best he could tell, you always had a disgusted grimace on your beautiful face, keeping to yourself whenever possible, unless you had some venom to spit in Henry’s direction.

...And for whatever reason, you had him all twisted up inside.

It didn’t make any sense, seeing as Henry had never felt that way about anyone but whenever he was around you, he felt ill, in the best way.

It was like a spell had been cast on him, and it made him even more dumb than before. The worst part of all though, was that you somehow remained absolutely blind to it.

That, or you didn’t care.

For the longest time, he was sure that you hated him and maybe you still did. In any case, nothing could keep his stomach from doing cartwheels whenever you were together.

Together being a term used lightly.

Really, you only ever spent time with the ‘Bowers gang’ when you absolutely had to but that was more than enough for Henry to be sure.

There was just something about you.

...And he was determined to figure out what it was.

Today, Patrick offered to have the guys come over after school, suggesting they fuck around at the quarry for a while before hitting the town. Your parents weren’t going to be home, after all, so they agreed.

Which meant that as soon as Henry and the others entered your house, you knew about it. No one else had a key to the side door of the garage.

“What are you losers doing here?” you groaned, rolling your eyes from where you were sitting on the couch, watching bored as Belch chucked something at Vic, narrowly missing his head.

It brought a small smile to your face, which you were quick to force back down. Perhaps if it had actually met its target, you would have laughed.

Luckily, Belch’s aim was about as good as his grade in chemistry. “We thought we’d come spend time with you. s’that okay?” Henry started, noticing the way your eyes lingered on his for only a moment before you looked away.

You didn’t even bother to answer him, though you didn’t have much of a chance anyway before Patrick swung around the corner and lobed a coke can at your head.

“We’re going to the quarry, you wanna come or is that stick lodged too far up your ass?” he cackled, not even seeming to care one bit that the can could have burst all over the place.

Though, to be fair, you cared about as much when you tossed it right back at him, hitting the wall just behind him.

“You’re a fucker, Pat!” you growled, that mischievous glint in your eyes making it hard to tell if you were really upset with him or not.

It wasn’t until you stood from where you’d been sitting that it registered to Henry that you could potentially be coming with them. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but for some reason, it made his palms sweat.

You hadn’t come with them to the quarry for quite some time, and the five of you weren’t kids anymore.

“Let’s go. I’ll leave all your asses here” you barked, having apparently decided you’d be going before heading out the door, not bothering to wait for any of them.

Without missing a beat, all four boys followed, leaving Henry to bring up the back, his hands feverishly wiping at his jeans.

He tried to convince himself that this wasn’t going to be that big of a deal, and that there was no reason he should be nervous, but that wasn’t doing him much good.

Really, the more he tried to stop thinking about you, the more his mind snapped right back to you, sitting in the backseat.

Henry was trying his best to be casual in his admiration, watching in the right side mirror as you fiddled mindlessly with the fraying knees of Vic’s jean but if he wasn’t careful, he was going to get caught.

Honestly, Belch had already taken note of the way Henry studied you but chose to keep it to himself.

Pointing out something like that would not only subject him to Henry’s anger, but also yours and Patricks and that wasn’t something he was willing to deal with right now.

So, he turned up the music on the radio and kept driving down the road until he pulled up to the private confines of the woods around the quarry.

“Did you bring a bathing suit Squirt, or what?” Patrick asked, much too late to have actually been of help to anyone, going so far as to use that terrible nickname.

If looks could kill, he would have been dead already.

“No, I’m not stripping down in front of your pervy friends dipshit” you huffed, shooting Belch a wink from where he was looking at you from the rearview.

It was all in good fun of course, but mostly, it was just payback for Patrick being Patrick.

“Yeah right, like any of these guys would wanna touch you with a ten foot pole” your brother jabbed, your full on sibling bickering filling the backseat in a matter of minutes.

Really, it was just a number of thinly veiled threats and insulting one another's mother even though she was the same woman. Neither of you cared for technicalities.

Patrick was a bitch and you only wanted to make sure he knew that about himself.

~

That was all that happened from the time Belch parked the trans am to the time when Patrick and the others were all diving off that cliff into the water below.

You chose to remain perched on a rock, letting what little sun you could tolerate to bathe your skin. It wasn’t until you heard a twig snap behind you that you perked up, taking notice to the fact that someone was clearly out here. As best you knew, the guys were still in the lake.

Still, you wouldn’t have put it past your shithead brother to try and toss you over the side while you were too relaxed to notice.

Though, when you actually turned around, it wasn’t Patrick standing where the sound had come from. It was Henry.

“What are you doing? Sneaking around like a creeper” you asked, rolling your eyes before leaning back down against the rocks. You would never admit it, but you were most comfortable around Henry.

He was a no shit kind of guy, which you could respect, but he wasn’t downright vile like your hellspawn sibling was. He was a good middle ground and you could respect that.

Not that you wanted him watching you from the woods in any case.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Henry started, watching you crack one eye open slightly to look at him, silently prompting him to continue.

You had never had patience for idle small talk. If he had something to say, he could do so without wasting precious seconds of your life.

“Without the other guys” he clarified, briefly waiting for you to point out that it was a given before punching him so hard in the bicep with those rings you wore that he’d have to leave.

...But that never came.

You just sat there, bathing in the sun like a cold blooded predator, waiting for him to get on with it.

Henry had to swallow thickly before speaking, taking in how peaceful and gentle you looked when you were relaxed. He assumed it was a Hockstetter thing, because Pat damn near slept like a baby.

The whole lot of you were sneaky bastards though, so he didn’t trust it for a second.

“You wanna see a movie sometime? Or get a burger? Just us” he asked, earning a snort from you immediately though you stopped laughing as soon as you saw him.

The sight you opened your eyes to was almost alarming.

Henry, shit-talking, knife slinging Henry Bowers, looked like a scared little puppy. You had never seen him anxious or worried before but even you didn’t have it in your heart to tease him.

He was being serious.

“Like a date?” you clarified, genuinely confused for a second. Why would Henry want to go out with you? By all accounts, you were personality deficient, and that was a badge of honor you wore proudly.

...But no one in their right mind would sign up for that willingly.

Maybe that was the whole point though, maybe that was what it was about Henry that you found so strangely endearing. He was out of his damn mind.

When he nodded, you made up your mind.

He was absolutely deranged, fully crazy, but you were just about the same. “Sure, I’ll let you buy me a milkshake some time” you shrugged, closing your eyes again as your way of shooing him away.

You both knew that if he didn’t get back to his friends, they’d come looking for him and whatever he had going on, that wasn’t a good look.

Not that he cared right now.

Henry got the date, and you didn’t even spit on him when he asked. By all accounts, that was a success in his mind.

[batterycityghoul]

There’s a Bad Moon on the Rise (Ben Hanscom/Reader) (1/3)

Summary: You're Richie's twin sister and a member of the Losers' Club. When the other members all pack up and leave town, you elect to stay behind with Mike to wait for It to come back. After 27 years pass and Pennywise returns, will you and the other Losers be able to finally defeat him?

Pairing: Ben Hanscom/Reader; Richie Tozier & Reader; Background Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 6.2k

Author’s Note: This is finished at 16k. I decided to split it up into three parts to make it easier. If you enjoy this, then letting me know would make my day! If you’ve seen It: Chapter Two, then you know what you’re in store for regarding warnings...but with the added fun of some canon divergence! 

Masterlist / Read on AO3

The summer of 1989 was one of the most terrifying and exhilarating times of your life.

Growing up, all you really had was your twin brother, and by extension, his group of friends. The girls at school never gave you the time of day, which was the way you preferred it, and most of the guys were completely disgusting.  

By the time school let out in June of '89, your only plans involved hanging out with Richie and his friends while avoiding Henry Bowers and his gang if at all possible.  

Of course, you didn't count on Pennywise.  

The Losers’ Club rose and fell that summer all thanks to the clown who seemed hellbent on traumatizing you all for life.  

You were used to the little group that consisted of you, Richie, Eddie, Stan, and Bill. You had grown used to their antics and usually had to be the first to talk them out of their more dangerous plans. Most days, they drove you absolutely crazy. You figured that was probably par for the course since you were the only girl among a group of boys.  

Surprisingly enough, you got along with all of them. Richie was your twin and the person who knew you best. Out of anyone else in the world, you knew that if you had to, you would die for him. He could be a bit of a jackass, but he loved you in his own way.  

Eddie was the worrier of the group. He was always the first to voice a concern, no matter how outlandish it might seem. You spent half your time with Eddie reassuring him that he was fine and the other half trying to get him out of his own head so he would actually enjoy his time with the group.  

Stan was the other much-needed voice of reason for the group. Both of you had to work overtime to keep the others out of trouble and ended up bonding because of it. When you were just a little too done with the others, you looked to Stan to pick up where you left off. Richie liked to joke that maybe you were misplaced at birth and actually Stan's twin since you two were so alike at times.  

And then there was Bill. He seemed to be the unofficial leader of the group, because everyone always turned to him for a plan. He was sweet and despite the tragedy he went through with Georgie, he always wanted to help.  

He was also the one in the group that you had a giant crush on.  

Crushing on one of your brother's best friends was inconvenient at best. Mostly, you were sure Bill only saw you as his best friend's sister and left it at that. At the very least, even if you wished he saw you as more, you could still always count on Bill to have your back.  

So, while you were more than happy with the friends you had because of Richie, you couldn’t help but wonder if your little group would ever grow.  

Fortunately, that summer, three more kids joined The Losers' Club.  

Ben Hanscom, or Ben Handsome as you liked to call him, literally dropped right into your lives. He was shy and sweet and you found yourself gravitating towards him as time went on. He seemed to have a doomed crush on Beverly while you were totally miserable over your feelings for Bill. You spent many moments with Ben, both of you commiserating over the wreck that was your love lives.  

After Ben joined the group, Beverly Marsh was soon to follow. She was funny and fierce and fearless. You couldn't help but admire the way she absolutely took no shit from any of the others and even managed to fit in with the group of misfits that made up The Losers' Club.  

Mike Hanlon seemed to be the final piece of the puzzle you didn't even realize was missing until the infamous rock war against Henry Bowers and his gang. To your surprise, you and the other Losers managed to win, and it seemed the prize was Mike Hanlon. He was studious and calm in a way that leveled out the group. You were grateful for his presence when he joined, because he soon became your only anchor in the whirlwind that was soon to overtake your life.  

You were glad for the friends you made that summer. Without them, you weren't sure if all of you would have survived. Pennywise would have come after one or all of you and without the others, you might not have made it.  

Storming Neibolt House the first time was only the first fracture you experienced as a group, though. After Eddie broke his arm and everyone went their separate ways, you were scared about what it would do to you. As a group, you all stood a chance against Pennywise. But alone with only your brother to fall back on? You couldn't help but think that it would be oh-so-easy for Pennywise to take his revenge on you all.  

You spent most nights terrified out of your mind that the shadows on the wall spelled your doom. The near-constant fear seemed to only help you bond with Richie more. You spent most nights in his bedroom, staying up until all hours of the night, and doing your best to not flinch at any and every strange noise.  

You watched Richie slowly fall apart without the other Losers. You knew there was one in particular he was missing the most, but you didn't push him to talk about his feelings for Eddie. Derry in '89 wasn't the most welcoming place for what Richie was going through and Henry Bowers and his bigotry in no way made it better. All you could do was let Richie know you loved him and accepted him no matter what and he seemed to take solace in that.  

The group didn't reunite until Beverly was taken by Pennywise.  

Going back to Neibolt House to confront Pennywise felt like the most idiotic decision you had ever made, but it was your only choice if you wanted Beverly back. You were so terrified that she would be dead like the other missing kids, and even though you tried not to let fear rule your movements, it was hard not to jump at every shadow or errant noise down in the tunnels.  

In the heat of the battle against Pennywise, when he flashed his several rows of sharp teeth your way, you almost hesitated. You could easily imagine those teeth tearing through your flesh and ripping you apart. It was Bill's voice urging you to swing at Pennywise that had you using the piece of wood in your hand to attempt to hurt Pennywise.  

By the time Pennywise had managed to escape, you were exhausted. Stan was hurt. Beverly was acting odd. Bill had broken down after having to essentially kill Pennywise's borrowed form of Georgie. The rest of you were still shaken and terrified, but everything you suffered through only seemed to work in your favor afterwards. The group came back together and you couldn't help but think that you felt invincible. If you could go up against a murderous clown with your best friends, then there was absolutely nothing you couldn't do.  

Despite everything you all went through and achieved that summer, it wasn't long before the group broke apart again. By the end of that summer, The Losers lost a member. It was a trend that would continue over the next few years until there were only two left in Derry.  

Beverly was the first to leave. She promised to write, but something weird happened. Once Beverly left Derry, you didn't hear from her. You could tell it worried Bill and the others, but a part of you wondered if it wasn't for the best after everything Beverly had endured in Derry. If you could, you would have wanted to cut ties with the town as well. Although, you hated that she also seemed to be cutting ties with The Losers’ Club.  

After Beverly, Ben's family left. And then Bill. And then Stan.  

By the time it was only you, Richie, Mike, and Eddie, you started to wonder what the future held for all of you. You started to wonder if they were ever coming back.  

Eddie and Richie planned on leaving for college, but you had known that you were going to hang back in Derry. You were going to stay with Mike and wait for It to return.  

It was something both of you had decided on and while Mike insisted he would be fine on his own, you knew that it would be a very lonely existence to spend twenty-seven years in Derry just waiting for Pennywise to resurface. You knew that Mike would need someone to help him through the worst of it and while you knew it didn't have to fall to you, you also didn't notice anyone else sacrificing themselves.  

It didn't make it any easier to say goodbye to Richie and Eddie once they finally left.  

"Are you sure you don't want to get out of this shithole?" Richie was watching you as if he had half a mind to just shove you in his car and drive as far away as he could. "You don't have to stay."

"Yeah," you told him with a sad smile. "I kind of do."

"Well, I'll call," he assured you with a pat to your shoulder.  

"Sure," you agreed. He wouldn't. He would forget. You were sure that was what happened when you left Derry. You just forgot. Forgot the town. Forgot the life you led there. Forgot everything.  

If you forgot Pennywise, then how would you ever know to come back and try to finish the job? No, you would stay in the cursed town with Mike and wait. That was all you could really do.  

You watched Richie go with a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach.  

It wasn't so terrible at first. Pennywise wasn't around to terrorize the residents of Derry or making meals out of fearful children, so a sleepy contentment settled over the town. It was peaceful, but incredibly boring.  

Mike managed to secure a job at Derry Public Library while you started working the check-in desk at The Derry Townhouse.  

You found that even with Mike's company, you still felt incredibly lonely. You found yourself flipping through photo albums and wishing that Richie would call. You wanted to hear how Beverly was doing and if Bill was working on a new book. You wanted to ask Richie if he ever made a move on Eddie or if they went their separate ways. You wanted to see how Stan was doing and if Ben was making a name for himself as a renowned architect.  

You never did, though. If the others didn't remember Derry, then maybe it was for the best.  

You usually spent most nights having dinner with Mike. He was doing his best to research Derry's history and figure out Pennywise's origins. He figured if he could just figure out one weakness, then it would give you all a fighting chance when Pennywise inevitably came back to wreak havoc on Derry.  

Despite how much you hated it, time wore on. Some years seemed to drag on while others flew by. It seemed like you were bringing Mike a sandwich at Derry Public Library when he mentioned forgetting his lunch at home in 2009 and then suddenly it was 2015 and you were starting to see Christmas decorations appear around town.  

You were at the library one night in mid-December, waiting for Mike to finish shelving returns so you could eat dinner together. It was your turn to cook, so you were planning on making spaghetti and meatballs. Mike had already mentioned the leftover birthday cake in the staff breakroom that was up for grabs, so you were hoping to have some for dessert.  

You were sitting at the front desk, scrolling through a news article about Richie adding more dates to his US tour, and trying to distract yourself from growling stomach. You felt a strange mix of grief and pride as you read the article. You were so proud of your brother, but you mourned the years you missed watching him grow in his career and as a person. There was an ache you got every time you checked up on the other Losers, but it was especially fierce when you came across any news about Richie. It seemed unnatural to have to go without your twin for nearly twenty-seven years and some days you didn't know if you could stand it anymore.  

"You know what's coming, don't you? You know what has to happen?"

You startled at the sound of Mike's voice coming from just behind you. He was reading the article over your shoulder, a sad smile on his face when he looked to you.  

You bit your lip before nodding your head. "They have to come back. They have to help us."  

Over the years, you had both talked over the possibility that Pennywise would be back numerous times. You half-hoped the evil fucker wouldn't dare show his face as long as there were any Losers left in Derry to protect it, but you knew better. Your luck had always been rotten and it wouldn't be long before the murders and reports of missing people started featuring in the news again.  

You had spent so much of your time with Mike trying to convince him that you didn't need to involve the others. Two was always better than none, and while you wanted to see your brother and friends again, you didn't want to risk their lives. Mike was adamant that they all had to come back, though. He insisted it wouldn't work otherwise.  

Mike was incredibly vague about what he meant by that. You knew there was something he was hiding from you. It had to do with the research he had carefully hidden from you, prompting you to believe that there was something heading your way that was likely to kill you all. You hated that after all these years together, he still didn't fully trust you. He had only ever asked that you trust him. He claimed that whatever he had discovered was the ace in the hole you needed to defeat Pennywise.  

You felt a sinking feeling in your gut with each day that passed during the year of 2016. You weren't sure when Pennywise would resurface, but you instinctively knew he would reappear during the summer. It only seemed fitting that the summer of 1989 started this strange and horrifying journey, so why shouldn't it be the summer of 2016 that would end it for good?  

You thought it was morbid that you found yourself thinking that either you would die and Pennywise would continue his reign of terror, or you would somehow live and defeat him. With each passing day, Mike's confidence seemed to be infectious. You caught yourself thinking wistfully of a future away from Derry. You weren't sure where you would go or what you would do, but after so long spent trapped in the tiny town, all you knew was that you wanted out.  

Even though you seemed to always be waiting for his return, Pennywise still managed to catch you by surprise. You were going over the books for the Townhouse, having managed to successfully buy it from the owner in 2014 when he decided he wanted to leave Derry, and bemoaning your choice to become a business owner, when the phone rang. You absently reached out to grab the receiver, frowning down at the numbers that you were sure had to be complete bullshit.  

"Derry Townhouse," you muttered into the phone. "How can I help you?"

"He's back," Mike said, his words immediately sending a chill down your spine. "I need you to meet me right now."  

You weren't really sure how you got from being on the phone with Mike to standing at his side, both of you struck speechless by the bloody message Pennywise had left behind for you to find.  

"Come home," you muttered, feeling fear begin to settle deep within your gut. You tried to fight it off, knowing that was exactly the reaction Pennywise was looking for from you, but you couldn’t help it.  

Mike sucked in a deep breath, as if steeling himself, before he put an arm around your shoulders. "Let's go back to the library," he suggested with a weight to his words that let you know what was coming.

Mike volunteered to make the calls. He seemed a lot more level-headed about what had to happen than you did. You felt like you were sentencing everyone you loved to die. You didn't know how Mike was able to stomach calling each and every former Loser and reminding them of the oath they had sworn in 1989.  

Mike had always been resolute in doing what it took to survive, though. Trapping himself in Derry for twenty-seven years, with the memories and ghosts and fear, was more than enough proof of that.  

When the last phone call was finished, Mike turned to offer you a grimace.  

"I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens now. But I think they'll show up. They have to," he added with a tone that told you he didn't fully believe that. "Do you have any open rooms at the Townhouse?"

You couldn't help but bark out a surprised laugh. "Business isn't exactly booming," you offered when Mike shot you a confused look. "I can house the Losers."

"Then all we have left to do is wait," Mike added with a wry twist to his lips that told you what he was thinking.  

You had both done nothing but wait for the last twenty-seven years.  

It was later that night, after you managed to drag yourself back home, when you got a phone call from a number you didn't recognize.  

"Hello?"

"How the fuck did I forget I have a sister?"

You laughed, a smile on your face. "That's the magic of Derry," you said. "Hey, Richie. I've missed you."

"I think I've missed you too. Fuck," he hissed. "This is so fucking weird. I can remember Mom and Dad, but not you. How the fuck is that fair?"

"Mom and Dad eventually left. I never did." There was a heavy silence left on the line that made you mourn the easy communication you used to share with Richie. "How did you end up with my number?"

"When I stopped freaking the fuck out, I called Mike back and asked him for it. It's funny," he mused with a tone that suggested it was anything but funny to him. "I always felt like there was something missing, but I couldn't figure it out. Like there was someone there who should have been. I guess it was you," he offered with a sigh. "So, hey, you know I'm famous now?"

You felt a genuine smile break out on your face as Richie launched into telling you a story about an afterparty he once attended that resulted in him getting so wasted he accidentally threw up all over a former Spice Girl.  

Later, as you were settling down in bed, you couldn't quite fight off the anxiety that had taken hold of you. If Richie came back to Derry, then Richie would have to fight Pennywise. You couldn't quite justify the idea of making your brother relive some of his worst memories, but you knew that it had to happen. If you believed Mike, and you did, then it would have to be all of you. It didn’t mean you had to like it, though.  

You reached over to turn off the lamp on your nightstand, plunging your room into darkness.  

Moonlight peeked around your bedroom curtains, lending you enough light to just see the outline of the other pieces of furniture in your room. You started to close your eyes, but you caught sight of something that looked out of place.  

There was a figure standing just near the foot of your bed. You felt your breath hitch, a familiar thrill of terror coursing through you when the figure seemed to take a step closer. You heard a wheezing, rattling breath as a hand reached out to rest on the edge of the bed.  

You gasped out a choked breath before you made yourself move, quickly turning on the lamp again. When you looked to the end of your bed to see that there wasn't actually anyone there, you let out a relieved breath. It had seemed so real and with Pennywise back, you couldn't help but wonder if this was It's doing.  

You felt like a child when you left the lamp on, only managing to doze off every once in a while, before jerking back awake to hastily check and make sure no one was standing at the end of your bed.  

You remembered the sleepless nights you suffered in ‘89 because of the same brand of fear you felt that night. There were nights when you swore there was someone else in your room while you were trying to sleep. Whether it was Pennywise’s demented giggle jolting you out of sleep or the feeling of fingers drifting over your ankle accompanied by the sound of a rasping, wheezing breath. You weren’t sure you actually got a full night of sleep that summer and you worried you were in store for the same now that Pennywise was around yet again.  

You spent the next day booking rooms for the other members of the Losers’ Club and counting down the hours until you were all supposed to meet for dinner. You felt a nervous excitement at the idea of finally seeing everyone again. You weren't really sure how everyone would react to remembering Pennywise and the summer of 1989, but you were nearly relieved that it wouldn’t just be you and Mike any longer. It felt like you had been carrying around a terrible secret for years and now the burden would finally be lifted just the slightest bit from your shoulders.  

When you got to Jade of the Orient, you had to sit in your car for a few moments and take deep breaths. You weren't sure why you were so nervous, but you couldn't help but fear that the group dinner was going to be disastrous. You didn't know how much the others remembered, but you were sure once the full effect of Derry began to hit them, it wasn't going to be pretty.  

As you walked up to the restaurant, you noticed a man and a woman standing near the entrance. You felt a smile break out at the sight of the red hair on the woman. You knew instinctively who she was as you got closer.  

"Beverly?" You couldn't help but ask as you considered her.  

Beverly turned to look at you, her eyes narrowing for a split second as she attempted to recognize you, before her eyes went wide. "Y/N?"

"Yeah," you confirmed with a nod of your head as you moved to pull her into a hug.  

"God, it's been so long," Beverly said as she pulled back. You noticed her look at the guy standing just behind her before she glanced back to you. "Ben," she mouthed with a tilt of her head, silently clueing you in to the man's identity.  

"Ben Handsome," you started as you took a step away from Beverly. "Is that you?"

You noticed a blush spread across his cheeks before he ducked his head, suddenly sheepish. It was a gesture you recognized from childhood and you couldn't help but let out a pleased laugh as you moved to tug him into a hug as well.  

"It's good to see you, Y/N," he murmured in your ear.  

You pulled back and let yourself fully consider Ben. You couldn't help but think that he was remarkably handsome and you felt yourself blush when your eyes met his. His hands were on your shoulders and even though it was well past the moment when you should have stepped away, you felt nearly transfixed by him.  

You were struggling to think of something to say, not sure if the moment was turning awkward or oddly heated, when you were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.  

You glanced over to see Richie standing just a few feet away. "Well, you all look amazing," he observed as he studied you, Beverly, and Ben. "What the fuck happened to me?" He wondered with a self-deprecating tilt to his lips.  

"Richie," you couldn't help but say as you practically flung yourself at your brother.  

"Hey, Y/N," he said with a delighted chuckle before he brought his arms up to embrace you. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"  

"Too long," you agreed with a sigh as you pulled away from him. You stepped back so he could have his own little reunions with Bev and Ben as well.  

"So, were you guys going to stand out here all night or are we going to get on with this impromptu Losers' Club meeting?" Richie asked after hugging Beverly and shaking hands with Ben. "You three looked kind of cozy out here," he added with a raised eyebrow in your direction.  

You shook your head and turned towards the entrance to the restaurant. "Beep beep, Richie," you muttered before you pulled the door open and stepped inside.  

Reuniting with Bill and Eddie felt just as bizarre and surreal as seeing Richie, Beverly, and Ben again for the first time. Your eyes kept seeking out the empty chair at the table, however. You wondered where Stan was, but like with every meeting of the Losers' Club, it quickly turned loud and chaotic.  

Richie couldn't help but poke fun at Eddie and while you were onto him, it felt like you were able to breathe again after years of suffocating within Derry's walls. You had felt trapped for so long that you forgot what it was like to have almost everyone back with you again. You listened to everyone catch up, your eyes seeking out Bill from time to time. You could still feel the remnants of your childhood infatuation and a part of you wondered if you would ever be over him. You kept glancing to where a wedding band had recently resided on his left hand, surreptitiously reminding yourself that while Bill was recently divorced, it was unlikely that he would ever feel anything for you.  

You focused on the little things that made you feel at peace for the first time in years. Mike's small, proud grin as he listened to Bill talk about his new book and the way Richie kept glancing at Eddie, as if he couldn't believe they were in the same room again. You also saw the spark of interest in Richie's eyes once Eddie mentioned he was separated and well on his way to a divorce.  

You noticed the soft, private grins Beverly shot Bill and the way Ben kept watching Beverly with a reverence that told you his childhood crush was still in effect as well. You let their laughter wash over you as you ate and drank, your thoughts turning to Stan more and more often as the evening wore on and he failed to appear.  

"So, Y/N," Ben started as he leaned forward in his seat, focusing on you. "What have you been doing all these years?" You knew he was trying to deflect after Richie had embarrassed him by calling him hot, so you decided to have mercy on him.  

"I, uh," you started before taking a sip of your drink. "I've been running Derry Townhouse for the past few years."

"You own that shithole?" Richie asked with incredulity in his tone.  

You rolled your eyes before reaching across Beverly to pinch Richie's arm. "Yes," you answered. "And since you're all staying there for free, I'd like a little more gratitude."

"Thanks, Y/N," you heard Ben pipe up before the rest of the Losers toasted to you.  

You had fooled yourself into thinking it might be a nice, uneventful reunion, but you should have known better. Pennywise had to take the first shot at the Losers' Club through the most disturbing and grotesque display.  

The Pennywise bomb had just been dropped on the rest of the Losers right before the fortune cookies were dropped off at your table. Mike had reminded them of the oath they had all sworn and while Richie had attempted to lighten the mood a bit, you knew that everyone was well on their way to freaking out.  

Once Eddie pointed out that his fortune was just one word printed on the small slip of paper, you realized that none of your fortune cookies actually contained a typical fortune.

After you deciphered the message from the fortune cookies, an ominous warning about Stan's fate that read 'I Guess Stanley Could Not Cut It,' chaos erupted from the bowl of unopened fortune cookies in the middle of the table.  

You barely had time to process the fact that you were all being attacked by nightmarish monstrosities when you felt a hand wrap around your bicep, quickly pulling you away from the table. You looked over to see Mike, his eyes wide and frightened, as if he too had allowed himself to forget for a moment why you had been forced to call the Losers back to Derry.  

It wasn't long before there were horrifying creatures flying about the room, knocking into the light fixtures and diving towards you all.  

You heard Eddie scream and glanced over to see Ben trying to shield Eddie from something attempting take a bite out of him. Richie yelled Eddie's name, concern and fear clear in his voice. You only had a moment to make sure your brother was safe before something big and terrifying and screeching flew right into you.  

"Fuck!" You blurted as you tried to ward off whatever was trying to sink its talons into your forearm.  

You felt an arm around your waist before someone spun you away from the threat. You were suddenly facing the wall while someone stood at your back, shouting as they tried to face the creature that was just attacking you. You were panting for breath, not sure if it was out of fear or the adrenaline crashing over you, as you turned to see it was Bill who had saved you.  

"Y/N! You okay?" You heard Richie ask, but you didn't get much of a chance to respond before Mike picked up a chair and began to smash it over the middle of the table in an attempt to destroy the rest of the fortune cookies, insisting that what you were all seeing wasn't actually real.  

You were all more than a little jumpy as you finally gathered outside Jade of the Orient. After the hilariously inappropriate way Richie had yelled at a kid, forgetting for a moment a line from his own comedy routine, you were more than ready to crawl into bed and forget everything.  

You didn't even realize that Beverly was trying to get in touch with Stan, because you were so distracted by the way everyone else was freaking out. Richie and Eddie were yelling at Mike for lying to everyone by conveniently forgetting to mention Pennywise when he called everyone home while Ben and Bill seemed to be silently trying to process everything that had just happened.  

Mike was doing his best to keep everyone from skipping town when Beverly turned to face the rest of you, her phone held to her ear. She quickly put the call on speaker, allowing all of you to hear who was on the other line.  

It wasn't until you heard Stan's wife confirm that Stan was dead that you realized all of your worst fears were coming true. The Losers' Club hadn't even had an opportunity to really face Pennywise and one of you was already gone.  

You were barely aware of the fact that you were struggling to breathe. Stan couldn't be dead. Stan was always the shared voice of reason with you and one of the first to try to talk some sense into the Losers’ Club. He was Stan. Steady and dependable and sarcastic as hell. And he was dead.

"Mike," you called, tears starting to track down your face. "Did we kill Stan?" You whispered as you rounded on him, your breath stuttering in your chest at the thought. "When we called him, did we kill him? Did we do this? Is it our fault?" You could no longer justify calling everyone to ask them to return to Derry. Stan was dead and you couldn’t help but feel like it was all because you weren’t capable of facing Pennywise by yourself. Your fear of getting everyone you loved killed was washing over you and stealing your breath away.  

"Y/N, no," Mike murmured before he moved to pull you into his arms. You only had a moment to rest your head on his shoulder, the tears flowing freely as guilt threatened to overwhelm you, before you were tugged out of Mike's hold.  

"Hey, what the fuck did you do to my sister?" You heard Richie ask as he pulled you into a hug.  

"Yeah, fuckwad, why are you making Y/N cry?" Eddie jumped in. His specific brand of indignation in his tone had you laughing somewhat hysterically into Richie's shoulder.  

"He didn't do anything," you assured them as you finally managed to calm down. “I’m just upset about Stan.” You knew that what you were feeling in that moment was just going to give Pennywise nightmare fuel against you later. How was he going to twist this to haunt you? You shuddered at the thought before you patted Richie on the shoulder and stepped back. "I'm okay," you managed to say as you reached up to hastily wipe away the tears still tracking down your cheeks.  

You felt someone place a hand on your shoulder and you looked back to see Beverly standing there. You noticed the tears welling in her eyes and the haunted expression on her face and knew that Stan's death was hitting her just as hard.  

"Come on, Y/N," Richie pleaded as he pulled your attention back towards him. "Let's just get the fuck out of this shitty town."

"I’m not going anywhere, Richie. I live here," you reminded him with a helpless shrug of your shoulders.

"Well, you're moving," he told you as if it was that easy. He let out an incredulous laugh as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat. He looked like he was trying to resist the urge to reach out and grab your arm, as if he was toying with the idea of dragging you out of Derry if he had to. "I can't believe I let you stay here," he muttered.  

"I had to," you argued with a shake of your head. "I couldn't leave Mike alone all these years."

Richie snorted before he rolled his eyes. "Just, come on," he insisted as he nodded over towards his car. "You too, Eduardo. Let's go."

"Yeah, I'm right there with you," Eddie agreed as he made a break for his car.  

"I drove myself here," you reminded Richie when he seemed like he was about to herd you towards his car.  

"Fine. Fuck," Richie sighed as he glanced away. "Meet us at the Townhouse," he conceded before he took off across the parking lot.  

You turned and met Mike's gaze, silently asking what you should do now.  

"I've got him if you've got them," Mike said as he nodded over towards Bill. "There's something I've got to show him. But we'll see you at the Townhouse."

"Yeah, okay," you allowed with a grimace.  

"Y/N," Mike called before you could fully turn away from him. He pulled you into a hug, letting you rest your weight on him for a moment.  

"It was Stan, Mike," you muttered into his shoulder. "Stan."

"I know," Mike soothed as he pulled you closer for a brief moment. "We're going to kill It this time. We'll make It pay. But we can't do that if the rest of us don't band together."

"Yeah," you sighed, understanding what he was telling you to do. You had to go to the Townhouse and make sure none of the Losers were trying to skip town.  

"Y/N," Mike called again just as you were reaching your car. "Thanks," he said when you turned to look at him. "I really couldn't imagine doing any of this without you."

You offered him a weak smile and a nod before you got behind the wheel of your car.  

If you cried all the way to the Townhouse, mourning Stan and wishing that you could go back in time and stop Mike from calling him, then no one had to know but you.

[kafka-ish]

brother | r.t.

can boys and girls be friends without attached feelings?

word count: 2.1k

warnings/included: angst(?), college AU, fem!reader

a/n: based off of this song

-

Richie Tozier sat in the parking lot of USC’s Law Department. Become a Lawyer his mom said. You’ll make a lot of money his dad said. It only took two weeks into his freshman year of college for Richie to figure out that he actually hated the judicial system and to hell with it. He was about to light a cigarette even though he pledged to quit months ago: the last day of senior year.

He and the rest of the Losers were hanging by the quarry. Beverly was sitting on the hood of Bill’s car, slathering sunscreen on her sensitive skin because she burns easily. Ben sat with her, his arm itching to wrap itself around her pale shoulder. Bill, Eddie, and Stan were playing cards and Mike had to monitor them for cheating. Richie would’ve joined, but he didn’t want to get up from his position that overlooked the quarry’s water hole. He was laying down on the rocks, eyes closed and shades on, in place of his usual glasses.

“I think I’m gonna quit smokin’,” he announced with a certain proudness that his voice normally did not hold.

“O-oh yeah? How l-long’s that gonna luh-last?” Bill looked up from his cards, giving Eddie a chance to sneak a peak.

“I saw that, Eddie!” Mike Hanlon called from above and Eddie flinched.

“Cripes. Warn a guy before you yell first.”

Four months. It lasted four months, Big Bill, as Richie took out his BIC. He had to mess with it a few times to get the flame to startup. He always preferred matches, but the black lighter with flame stickers he kept in his shirt pocker was cooler.

A yellow-orange heat finally flicked the contraption to life when, at the same time, his Nokia 232 buzzed against the gearshift.

Four months and one day.

The small flame died in Richie’s hand that was now pressing his phone to his ear with no hesitation.

“Rich the Dick Tozier speaking, how can I help you?” Sure, it wasn’t the most professional way to answer a phone call, but who was anyone to call Richie Tozier a professional guy?”

“Hey, Richie!” It was y/n. y/n the girl who sat in front of him in his English class. y/n the girl who wore parkas in fucking California because it’s for the fashion and you wouldn’t understand. y/n the girl who got drunk off her ass at the first party of the year—which, ironically, was where they met.

The parties in college were spectacularly different from the parties Richie would go to in high school. More so, the parties in California were more… insane. Wild. The booze was exponentially more expensive—nothing that Bill would ever think of getting at his own. And the girls could closely be mistaken for a Hollywood child star.

Nothing like the parties in Derry Richie thought to himself as he drunkenly swept through the halls of a fucking Mansion. He didn’t realize his feet were working properly until he looked down, seeing as he was standing on all fours—all twos. How he was still standing up remained a mystery to him because he must’ve had ten shots of vodka that was worth more than his entire being and future.

Before him, when he entered the billiard room, stood a girl even drunker than him (somehow). She stood on the pool table, laughing above the crowd of frat boys who were yelling to take your damn shirt off already! And c’mon don’t be a prude. They surrounded her like dogs fighting for the last strip of steak until Richie stepped in.

“A little drunk to be standing on the edge like that.” He took a swig from his red solo cup. “Here, sweetheart, lemme help you down.” He offered her an unsteady hand only to be brushed away like a speck of dust on a grandfather clock.

“I can help myself,” y/n said. She got down from the pool table by sitting on the ledge first, then letting each foot touch the ground one at a time. “See?” She steadied herself using his shoulder and looked up at him with a smirk that let him know they were going to be friends.

And they were friends.

y/n was overjoyed when she found out Richie was in one out of her five classes and Richie was just happy to be able to talk someone’s ear off without them rolling their eyes or giving him the side-eye.

“Hey, y/n/n,” Richie said, mimicking the same enthusiasm from across the speaker. “What’re you up to?”

“Besides calling you?” Richie felt himself beginning to laugh but it felt wrong to do so. As cheery as y/n sounded, there was something off.

“Are you okay?” Richie blurted out, but he couldn’t help himself. It was in his nature; always looking out for y/n; always taking care of her.

“I’m fine, Tozier.” She laughed but he could tell it was fake. The way her voice was still summer in the crisp of fall was fake. The whole call was fake. “You just love checking in on me don’t ya.” Another giggle left the speaker—covering the cracks in her voice, or a sob.

“No, really.” His hand left the phone—his shoulder and cheek propping the device up against his ear—and reached for the gearshift. “How are you?”

Static. But Richie had been over at her place thousands of times before—not needing to ask for her address or pull out a map for directions. And Richie was right (he was always right) when he burst through the wooden door of y/n’s small, but somehow spacious, Los Angeles apartment.

“y/n, I know you’re in there,” Richie said, followed by three curt knocks. His shoulder slumped against the door and he sighed. “y/n, don’t make me go all big bad wolf on your little ol’ door.” He looked down to see the welcoming mat where guests were supposed to wipe their shoes off.

There’s No Place Like Home

A short laugh bounced off the walls from inside and Richie took that as his queue. His hand had a firm grasp around the bronze doorknob, refreshing from the California air. He jangled it, only for the structure to not budge, like it didn’t give a damn that he had to get inside.

“Dammit, y/n/n, get off your goddamned high horse and open the door.”

Richie was never one for words, but at these, the lock broke in and in slipped Richie. It was as if the door had heard his cries and complied—feeling sorry for the boy. But the mysteriousness of y/n’s apartment door didn’t matter when Richie’s eyes caught y/n’s figure—or lack of one. She sat on the leather couch which was a moving present from her parents (“We know how expensive it can be; being a young adult with college expenses. Wow, to think, my baby’s all grown up.”), wrapped in a blanket, burrito style. Even fro six feet away (approximately), Richie could see the tears welling in her eyes and the snot spilling from her nose.

“Richie Tozier, can you ever learn to take a goddamn hint?” y/n’s voice was far too weak to show any sign of malicious intent. He stood in front of her, tentative but also caring. He wanted to help. He just didn’t know how.

“I am taking the hint.” Richie sat down next to the bundle of blankets. He sat close, so close that if y/n’s feet were on the floor, his knees would’ve touched hers. She could smell his mint deodorant and cheap cologne; or maybe she was just so used to having him next to her, that was what she knew he smelled like. y/n smelled like this month’s body wash. Orange blossom. She must’ve taken an extra-long soak today. She always did when something was wrong. “I know you want me here, toots. Otherwise, you wouldn’t’ve called.”

Richie was right and at the moment y/n hated him for being able to read her mind.

She was about to tell him off but a strangled cry left her lips instead. Richie didn’t need to ask what was wrong to know what was wrong. Besides, it would be cruel—condescending—to put a filter over his voice the way you’d talk to a terrier or a baby and ask what’s wrong?

It was clear what was wrong. Judging by the two-hour-long bath she had taken beforehand and off-brand, empty Ben & Jerry’s container on her coffee table: her piece of shit boyfriend had just dumped her. Richie never liked Brandon, y/n’s so-called (now ex) boyfriend. But it could’ve been the other way around, too. His over-gelled head was always stuck in his Levi 512’s and the only time Richie saw that pompous smirk leave his lips was when he walked in on him and y/n kissing. Gag. But y/n had the right to be upset about getting dumped—even if it was by a perpetual twerp who never passed up the chance to brag about his perfect SAT score (wake up, buddy, we all got into the same college).

Richie sat waiting for a reply he was never going to get because y/n was too busy blowing her nose into the sleeve of her robe.

“C’mon, sweetheart.” Carefully, Richie unwrapped y/n from the cocoon, similarly to how a cautious child unwraps their presents. “You don’t need Brandon. You don’t need anyone.” It was true. She didn’t need anyone, and if anything people needed her. “You’re y/n.” He spoke the two words with such sureness—confidence. She was y/n, and if that’s not enough for them to see, then they’re delusional.

“How do you know?” She asked. Even if it was just a college boyfriend—her first college boyfriend—it still hurt like hell. The thought of being not wanted. Knowing it was her; that she couldn’t just fix whatever her lover didn’t like that ended up pushing him off the edge. He just didn’t like her.

Of course, she didn’t love Brandon. She didn’t love the way his hair was always stiff and she couldn’t comb her fingers through it the way she did Richie’s. She didn’t love him finding an excuse to say hello to the next blonde he saw whenever they went to parties together. She didn’t love Brandon, and Brandon apparently didn’t love her. But if Brandon didn’t love her, then who would?

Maybe the answer was staring her down right in front of her, or pressing against her shoulder as Richie bent down to pick up the empty ice cream carton. “You are y/n, right?” Richie asked in attempts to bring her spirits up.

And he did.

y/n’s eyes crinkled as she smiled and she chocked on her breath at the laugh she tried to hold in. “Do you think I’m an impostor?”

“Who knows?” Richie sat back down. His shoulder brushed her covered one and his head fell back to look at the ceiling. “Plastic surgery is pretty popular these days. Especially in La City of Angels.” He turned to face her now—a tear-free y/n that stared back at him. Her eyes were much lighter than before and her skin looked like it had just been kissed. By who?

“You’re an angel,” y/n said unexpectedly. Well, this was a turn of events. Richie managed to suppress his cough—a usual reaction that’d take place when he was surprised.

He pulled on the collar of his band-tee (Rock On, AC/DC!) because it was all of the sudden hard to breathe in this small LA apartment of y/n’s. He felt his pulse quicken under the skin of his wrist and neck. A line of sweat was forming beneath his browbone. Oftentimes, it was hard to differentiate if California was undergoing an unforeseen heatwave or if Richie was just drawing a fever. But summer had passed and Richie hand’t gotten sick in years, even if it was just a head cold.

Richie sat there, speechless, and wondered. He wondered why, out of all the nicknames in the world, he hasn’t called y/n baby yet. It was always babe or honey, but never baby. Why was that? Hypothetically, he could call her that. He could call her a lot of things—like his. So why didn’t he? Why had he never asked y/n out?

But it occurred to him, as y/n tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, that y/n was hurting. She needed a friend and nothing more. A brother, per se. He could sense her lean in. For a kiss, perhaps? But Richie was quick to dodge and cup her face in his large palm. An intimate action, sure, but their relationship was far from it.

“Look, y/n/n.” His breath hit her face. It was warm and felt like home. “You’re hurting right now.” His thumb rubbed along her jawline. “We’re just friends, right?”

“Friends,” y/n echoed back to him. And while she wasn’t completely convinced with the words coming from Richie Tozier’s mouth, she’d agree with him for his sake.

[anxiouslymalicious]

Losers Club Plus One Part 9

A Richie Tozier x daughter!reader series.

Read the previous part here or go here for the full masterlist!

A/N: Hi! As always, I want to apologise for being shit at updating but a lot is happening at the moment and I’m hella stressed out and hella depressed and hella anxious but that’s okay. 

This is about 3.5k words and the usual warnings apply. I hope you enjoy!

Y/N didn’t question what Richie was doing. She didn’t feel she had the power to. So, instead, she tried to muster up the most confused expression she felt capable of. Richie, almost maniacally, pulled her back outside to the car and made her sit down in the front seat. He finally noticed her looking on, in a stupor, not moving. Her face looked almost blank, only a hint of wonder lightening it up.

“I- I can’t. I can’t just leave them here. We can’t leave them here. We are Losers and Losers stick together.” Richie told his daughter, gently cupping her cheek. He was hoping for some kind of reaction but, upon receiving none, let a watery breath escape his lips. He felt tears stinging in his eyes yet again, before adding another whispered explanation.

“Stan wouldn’t want this. He wouldn’t want me or you leaving our friends behind. He wouldn’t want me leaving Eddie behind.”

With that, she nodded a little, facial expression still unphased. Richie shot Ben a quick text, letting him know that he and the little Tozier would meet them at the library, that they had gone out for a quick smoke or whatever. Given that he and Bev started smoking like a chimney at a younger age than her, he thought the excuse sounded pretty believable.

Impatiently, he drove through the town. Richie’s fingers were restless against the cold leather of the steering wheel. He tried to distract himself, tried desperately to recognise the buildings around him, the streets and faces, something he could hold on to. Richie felt like his life was slipping through his own hands like sand, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t hold it together.

Richie’s eyebrows were furrowed, face growing a grim expression and his jaw started clenching, all going unnoticed by himself.

What didn’t go unnoticed by Richie, though, was his presumed daughter’s hand on his wrist. He spared her a little glance which was all it took for Richie to step off the gas a little and lean back in his seat. He was still nervous, but the reassurance and worry in the big, familiar eyes of his daughter calmed him a little. Richie knew she didn’t hate him. He could read it in her eyes.

And he was right. Despite everything, she couldn’t hate Richie. He made a mistake, yes, but there were more important matters at hand right now. Besides, Richie didn’t love her any less, right? She could still pretend everything was alright. They could go back home once all of this was over and pretend it never happened. But, of course, it had happened and couldn’t be undone. The thought of Richie not truly being her father weighed heavily on her chest and would continue to do so until she knew for certain. And she feared whatever a stupid little test might say. Because, no matter what, their relationship wouldn’t be the same. Y/N felt like something had been taken from her, as stupid as it sounded. Because Richie was right beside her, it was just like she couldn’t look at him like she did before. 

The town was slowly growing colder to the girl. Not weather-wise, no. She felt that Derry didn’t care about them. She felt that no one in that town would notice if they needed help. She felt that the town wouldn’t care if each of the Losers died, stiff bodies recovered later that day, not even a lousy newspaper article would be written about the bodies. And it terrified her.

“Dad?” Y/N whispered, voice breaking as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She felt the tiny hairs on her arms stand up straight, embracing herself. Richie, a little surprised to hear her call him that, tried to look at her as he was navigating the car through the streets. Quick glances were casted her way until he finally had the chance to properly look at her as they reached a red traffic light.

“Yeah, kiddo?” Richie now asked. His lips were parted as he didn’t know what to expect, brows furrowed in confusion, but also a little curiosity.

“We’ll be alright… Right?” Y/N asked, raw fear very prominent in her voice. She looked at Richie with the eyes of the child she used to be. Many situations popped into Richie’s head. Moments when she had been terrified, almost petrified by the pure horror crawling under her skin, as she had asked the same question. He had always had an answer. And he had always been right. Because that was easy. Like when he saw the little girl with her pigtails (braided by Richie himself) in the doorway of her classroom on her very first day of school. She had been incredibly intimidated by the other students, but he told her that she would be alright if only she went in there with an open mind and a friendly face. She did. Richie was right.

Or the time she was scared of giving a presentation in middle school that her teachers would base a lot of her grade on. She was crying at her desk, little cards with notes carefully written out were strewn mindlessly around the table as her panicked eyes were directed to her laptop, presentation opened. She was scared of failing her class. Richie told her that there was nothing to be scared of. Failing a class wasn’t the end of the world, he had failed more classes than he could count himself. He told her that she was incredibly bright, told her to keep him in her mind and she would ace that presentation. She did. Richie was right.

Or the time Richie had to undergo surgery after miraculously breaking his nose. He had never told his daughter how exactly it happened, but she had called a taxi to drive them to the hospital where Richie was quick to be put under medication and have a surgery scheduled. She was standing by his side in tears, broken heart beating painfully in her chest as she watched her father grow loopy. Richie had enough of a straight mind to lay his wired-up hand on her cheek and give her the most reassuring smile he could. She was scared that Richie wouldn’t come back to her, that he would fall asleep and never wake up again. Richie’s smile faltered a little as his mind reminded him that there could be serious consequences to a surgery, but he was quick to shake that thought off. He told her that it was just a quick fix of his beauty. Told her that she should follow the nurses, they would be taking care of her, and after a bit of time he would be as good as new. He told her that all she needed was a little faith and patience, and trust. He told her that he wouldn’t ever leave her to fight for herself like that. He wouldn’t leave her alone. She did. And Richie was right.

But now was different. This was bigger than a surgery, a broken heart, a presentation or a first day of school. This was much bigger. And now, Richie was the one to be terrified, skin prickling with fear, cold sweat on the back of his neck, with no answer on his mind.

“Yes,” he rung out, “If you believe that we will be.”

With that, the car grew silent again, the only exception being the Beatles, singing for Help. A bitter smile grew on Richie’s lips as he remembered the flyer for ‘Richie Tozier’s All Dead Rock Show’.

“There must be some kind of way out of here…” mumbled the man to himself, shuddering as he thought about his encounter with the clown.

Despite his talk with his daughter, despite her telling him that it was okay for him to feel love for men, Richie still wasn’t sure. It was still one of the easiest ways to hurt Richie. But he couldn’t deny that it hadn’t been as bad as it could have been. The thought that Y/N would support him, regardless of who he loved, comforted him immensely. It was easier for him to make the clown piss off.

“Said the joker to the thief.” Y/N continued, turning the bitter smile into a genuine. A huffed breath escaped Richie, a cruel, self-deprecating joke on his lips, as he was about to reply, but swallowed it down instead as the old library building came into view. He felt the tips of his fingers go numb as he thought of the story Ben had told them of his first encounter with IT.

Slowly, painfully so, did the car roll closer to the building before coming to a gentle halt as Richie gracefully parked the expensive car. Y/N didn’t waste a minute and got out of the car the second the car stood securely, marching up the stairs to the heavy front door of the old building. She thought that Richie would take ages to muster up his courage again, which was why she sought the peaceful distance, but to her utter surprise, Richie was fast on his feet, almost eager to go to Mike, the man who hadn’t got a clue of any of the shit that was going on. Blissfully unaware somewhere in that building, hiding away between the thick books. He was probably happily reading through his notes on the history of Derry, the unawareness a constant companion. Or so Richie thought. Because, in truth, Mike was fighting for his life with a man he didn’t think he’d ever encounter again. Especially not in such a cruel way.

Richie, surprisingly, didn’t enter the library with a bang. Something held him back. It was like something was trying to quieten him, to make his and his daughter’s presence unknown to whoever or whatever else was in the building with them.

Y/N felt cold as she watched the eerily quiet library.

“Is Mike late or-“ she started, but didn’t get to finish her sentence for Richie shushed her, not letting her utter another sound. At first, just for a few seconds, she didn’t understand, an uncomfortable coil tied up in her chest. That was, until she saw the pure focus on Richie’s face. Furrowed eyebrows, tongue poking out just a little between his lips as he strained his old ears, hoping to pick up the faint sounds yet again.

And suddenly, she did too. The grunts were quiet, almost not audible if they had as much as walked through the library, searching the bookshelves. It seemed that even the lightest breeze could have drowned the sounds out, but once they heard them, they were there. And neither of the pair had any kind of doubt. Someone was struggling. Badly.

“Stay here.” Richie grumbled out before falling into a sprint. As quickly as he could, he moved up the stairs, hoping for the grunts to grow louder, to grow more present, but most importantly, he was hoping that they wouldn’t stop.

A glint of light caught Richie’s eye. A glass case was attached to one of the dark walls. An axe to be used in case of emergency, as the sign told him. Presumably, in case of a fire. The man jerked his clothed elbow against the glass, shattering it easily.

“This is an emergency after all.” Richie said to himself before turning around and running further upstairs. His lungs were burning with the effort. Something he wasn’t used to anymore. It was at that moment that he cursed his younger self for picking up that very first cigarette, the thing of all evil, basically. He shook his head. No time for thoughts of that sort.

It wasn’t until he reached the top of the stairs that the grunts and screams finally seemed close. And they were. Behind the door, Richie was met with the back of someone kneeling above his friend. Things weren’t looking good for Mikey. Richie didn’t even feel as though he was the one acting in that moment. He liked to think that it was some weird out-of-body experience, controlled by the pure adrenaline pumping through his veins, fueling his body.

Y/N had been hot on his trail, running just after him. She didn’t feel safe on her own, not even with the assurance of the mirror shard still in her pocket as a weapon. She arrived just in time to watch as her father raised the axe and rammed it into the man’s head, not a trace of hesitation in his actions. It was almost frightening to watch the lifeless body slump to the ground. Y/N almost felt like she could watch the life seep out of the man’s body with every drop of blood that left his body. Richie tried to make a joke, but was interrupted by his own body as he doubled over, emptying his stomach as a shrill scream escaped his daughter’s lips.

Y/N stumbled back, falling against the wall behind her, only to slide down to the ground. She too felt sick to the pit of her stomach, but she tried to suppress the bile from coming up. Instead, she scooted closer to the wall, instinctively curled up against the cooling surface as she watched the crimson stain the ground, the puddle growing bigger by the second.

Hands clasped together before her mouth in disbelief, she tried her best to breathe evenly, but any rational thought had left her brain. Y/N felt cold, her body shook heavily with fear clawing at her. It wasn’t until she heard a different scream, a feminine voice, that she noticed how her father was desperately trying to catch her attention, blocking her view of the body with his own body.

The other Losers filled the room, one more shocked than the other. Eddie’s face was almost as white as  the gauze on his cheek when he entered the room, anxious eyes immediately analysing the situation. Until his eyes finally found the Toziers sitting on the ground, Richie desperately trying to get any kind of reaction out of Y/N, any reaction other than fear. Eddie shot Mike, who was still on the ground, a sympathetic smile before dropping to his knees by the duo.

“Hey, hey, Y/N, it’s uncle Eds. It’s alright, you’re alright.” Eddie muttered as the rest of the bunch took care of Bowers’ body and Mike, who felt as shaky as a leaf in late autumn months.

Slowly, her eyes travelled to the smaller man, the fear never leaving them, but they were moving. She was with them.

“Uncle Eds?” Richie whispered to himself as he leaned against the wall next to Y/N, letting Eddie take over for a moment. His hand stayed on her knee though, eyes intently watching their every move.

Ragged breaths escaped her pale lips.

“You’re alright. We’re all alright.” Eddie continued his soothing mantra.

“Dad- the man- he killed him-“ her gaze jumped between the two men in front of her, her instincts tried to get another look at the dead body, but Eddie wouldn’t let her, hoping that his body would fully block the view as Richie kept her body planted in place, gently but firmly, with his arm around her shoulders.

“It was self-defence. He needed to do that.”

“But- but-“ her lips quivered terribly as she looked up at Eddie, eyes huge. Her mind had a hard time understanding just what was happening, but it was slowly catching up with the situation. “I’m scared.” She finally whimpered out and with that, the dam broke and fat tears rolled down her reddened cheeks.

Eddie and Richie both embraced the girl as she broke down. The other Losers watched with sorrow, watched as the little girl broke down. Mike, who felt like he was the one at fault to put her through all of this, felt a stabbing pain in his chest as a few tears of his own managed to push past the barrier. The other Losers didn’t feel any less to blame, though. Each of them were thinking about what they could have done to protect her rather than stand by and watch as the town, but mostly IT, mercilessly tore her down, broke her spirit until nothing would be left, not even a will to survive.

Silently, Bev looked over her shoulder at Ben and Mike, both sat on the ground, who only needed the one pained expression on her face. They understood. No words needed to be spoken.

“It’s okay to be scared. But you can’t let the fear take over you. Not now. You’re stronger than that.” Eddie explained to the girl, feeling her tears against his clothes. His chin was resting on top of her head. Suddenly, a stinging sensation in his cheek made him cringe, but it was quickly replaced by his heart feeling as though someone was squeezing it tightly. Richie had nuzzled his own head against both of their heads. And with that, Eddie suddenly realised just how close he was to Richie. Arms embracing not only Y/N, but also each other, clinging to each other, Richie’s head lovingly nudging Eddie’s cheek, the closeness of their hands-

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Said Y/N, pushing out of the warming embrace, accidentally breaking the two lovers apart, as she stumbled just out the door to empty her stomach.

“Are you alright?” Ben finally asked, looking towards Mike. Richie, who was helping his friend get back to his feet, trying to put some distance between himself and Eddie. It felt so nice, embracing his daughter with the man he loved, but at the same time, it was intimidating. He still had no reassurance, nor did he have the courage to confess to Eddie how he felt.

“No, I’m not! I just fucking killed someone!” Richie replied, confused at the stupid question. Ben and Mike looked at each other carefully for a moment.

“I was talking to Mike.” He continued, earning an almost insulted glare from Richie. Y/N was coming back into the room, eyes travelling from Richie to Eddie, sadly realising the distance them. It was strange to her, watching them bicker and move closer with every ‘your mom’ joke they made, hold onto each other in moments of fear and doubt and yet move away from each other as far as possible once they realised what they had been doing all along. 

“What the fuck happened to your face?” Y/N asked suddenly, voice loud and clear despite her shaking body. All eyes were on Y/N for a second before everyone’s eyes travelled to the person she was looking at. Eddie. 

“Oh… uh… Bowers stabbed me.” Eddie replied, feeling not only Y/N’s eyes on him. Richie was eyeing him carefully, worry flooding him. He wasn’t there, he could have helped. But he was too busy being a coward to protect one of his closest friends, the man he admittedly liked in a romantic way.

Richie watched as Y/N stepped closer to Eddie, eyes not leaving the huge white patch on his face that had gone unnoticed as the adrenaline took hold over their bodies yet again that day. Richie bit his lip, trying to bite away the familiar stinging of tears behind his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, not there, not then. 

Y/N hugged Eddie tightly. He was a little thrown off-guard, hesitating just a little before embracing her too.

 “I feel like we can’t be trusted on our own. We’ll just end up hurt.” She said seriously, causing the group to chuckle a little.

Something was strange about the sound. Mike examined the group for a moment. Then, he felt his heartbeat quicken as he looked around the room and saw all the Losers, minus one.

“Where is Bill?”

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Taglist (let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part!)

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[good-doctor-imagine]

Scar » two

one // three

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie finally meets the person that Richie keeps talking about

Word Count: 2442

When Eddie called that night, Richie bragged about his new friend, saying that they provided much better competition. Eddie, of course, was not convinced by this.

“Oh, really? What’s your friend’s name.”

Richie hesitated, reflecting about the time you two spent over the game before realizing that you two never actually asked for names. “Uh…”

“That’s what I thought,” Eddie said triumphantly. Richie could practically see the victorious smile on his face.

“No! We were just so caught up in the game that we didn’t really ask each other.” Eddie hummed, not believing his best friend for even a second. “I’m being fucking serious,” Richie pleaded over the phone, “She said that she would be at the arcade tomorrow too.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Sure, so if I go tomorrow then I’ll see her there?”

“Yes!” Richie spoke confidently.

“We’ll see,” Eddie laughed, “Now I have to go, it’s bedtime.”

Richie shook his head at his friend before wishing him a good night.

At dinner your mom asked you if you had made any friends while you were gone. That morning, you wouldn’t have guessed you would actually make a friend. Your mind was so caught up over what you had lost instead of what was in front of you. However, that arrogant asshole brought you back to the present and you were ready to destroy his pride. But as the game went on, you two exchanged some small talk and you found a bit in common with one another. You both like video games (that’s a given), you both enjoyed good competition, and you both didn’t mind each other’s company.

“Yeah, I did,” You responded, the corners of your lips tilting upwards.

“What’s their name?”

You opened your mouth to respond before shutting it suddenly. Holy crap you don’t know his name! Your eyebrows furrowed as you wracked your brain for some sort of answer. “Uh, I guess I didn’t really ask.”

Your mom tilted her head in confusion. “You didn’t ask each other your names?”

“No,” You let out a light hearted laugh, “We were so caught up in the game that I guess it didn’t really matter.”

Your mom wasn’t very pleased but didn’t say much after that. The rest of the dinner was pretty quiet, your dad talked made a few comments about his job, including a teenager being arrested for his father’s murder, but nothing else that really caught your attention. As you traveled to your bedroom, you held your breath, wondering if you should ask about tomorrow or not. Your mom wasn’t too happy about you not knowing the name of your new friend, but at least you were making friends. Letting out your shaky breath, you turned around and walked back to the kitchen, head leaking over the corner.

“Hey mom?” She hummed in response. “Can I go out tomorrow too?”

Her head lifted up as she faced towards you, putting her hand on her hip. “Of course, why would I keep you inside of the house?”

“Oh,” well maybe because there’s missing children “Right,” You smiled, turning back around and walking to your room.

You were late. Well, you didn’t set an exact time to meet up, but Richie assumed that you would be at the arcade by noon. It was 12:30 and Eddie was starting to get restless. He had played a dozen rounds of Street Fighter with Richie, his fingers monotonously skimming over the same buttons. At this point, Eddie was starting to believe that Richie just made his new friend up just to have some company.

“Did you lie to me so I’d play with you?” Eddie questioned, eyes half closed as he stared at the screen.

Richie hesitated, allowing Eddie to get a few hits on his character. “No, I didn’t, Eddie Spaghetti.” To be honest, Richie was starting to doubt you would show up. He wondered if you stood him up and acted like you were having fun playing with him the day before. Although he didn’t want to admit it, the boy was embarrassed, thinking of what he would say to Eddie if you didn’t walk through the doors.

Thank goodness he didn’t have to wait that long. You strolled into the arcade with pockets full of quarters that rang every time you took a step. You asked your mom earlier to exchange some of your money for quarters so you didn’t have to keep entering it into the machine at the arcade. Thankfully, she did, but not without going on a whole rant about actually learning about the person you’re spending time with.

You stood there as she lectured you, eyes focused on the wall clock as seconds turned to minutes. “Okay mom, I have to go,” You announced, grabbing the quarters that she pulled out before zooming out of the house.

When you arrived at the arcade you were not expecting for someone else to already be playing Street Fighter with the familiar brunette. The person you met from yesterday was still there, eyes glued to the screen as he bit his bottom lip in concentration. The kid beside him looked bored, eyes half lidded as his fingers skimmed over the buttons.

A part of you felt like leaving, thinking that he doesn’t need you because he has another person to play with him. You shook the thoughts out of your head when you remembered that he was the one that invited you today. Stalking up to the arcade machine, you stood behind the brunette with thick glasses.

“Are you trying to replace me?” You spoke up, making the poor boy jump.

His head swung around, eyes wide behind his glasses. As Richie’s attention was focused on you, Eddie took it as a chance to finally beat his opponent, jamming the buttons in front of him until he knocked down Richie’s character.

“Ha! Told you I could beat you!” Eddie cheered triumphantly, a wide grin adorning his face.

Richie tore his eyes off of you and back on the screen, where his character was lying on the floor. “That’s not fair, Eddie,” Richie whined, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

“Since when did you care about fair?” Eddie mused, head held high.

Richie rolled his eyes at his friend before turning around to face you. “What makes you think I could replace you, sugar?”

You crossed your arms in front of you like yesterday, tilting your head slightly. “Looks like you have a different partner.”

Eddie’s eyes shot between you and Richie before remembering what Richie said yesterday. “So Richie didn’t lie to me,” He spoke up, coming up next to his friend, “You’re the girl that he was talking about.”

Your eyebrow rose, eyes staring into Richie’s. Richie tried to keep his cheeks from heating up, elbowing his friend in response. “I told you I wasn’t lying.”

“Aw, you talked about me?” You cooed, the corners of your lips turned up in amusement.

“He sure di-” Eddie was interrupted by a smack on the upper part of his arm that was not covered by his cast. “Ow!”

“I mentioned you,” Richie admitted, sending a glare to his short friend, “He didn’t believe me though.”

“Oh,” You said, uncrossing your arms, “Well, here I am.”

Eddie squinted his eyes and he looked at you, wondering if you were putting up a facade or not. Most people in Derry didn’t want to associate with them, so why would you?

Before he could question you about it, you pulled a quarter out of your pocket and rounded the arcade machine. “Are we going to play or are we just going to stand here and stare at each other?”

Richie instantly turned around, tugging at the control stick to choose his character. Eddie stood back as you two occupied the arcade machine. “What’s your name?” Eddie spoke up, hoping Richie wouldn’t scold him for interrupting the game.

“Oh, that’s right,” You laughed, fingers still dancing over the buttons, “I forgot to tell you, I’m (Y/n).”

Richie stole a glance at you before switching back to the game. He hated that you were able to distract him.

“Well, I’m Eddie and that’s Richie if he didn’t tell you already,” Eddie said, sending an annoyed look to his friend. You nodded and jammed your finger into the red button, successfully knocking Richie down.

“Looks like you need some more practice,” You grinned at your opponent, making Richie’s blood boil.

“Don’t speak too soon, sugar,” He spat back, grabbing a quarter that he placed on the machine earlier. “There’s plenty of time to change that.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at the trashmouth and continued to ask you questions. Most of them were pretty innocent. He asked you about your favorite food, favorite color, and other generic things you ask when first meeting a person. When he asked his next question, you froze. Richie took that as a chance to defeat you, knocking down your character with his special move. He was about to celebrate until he looked up, realizing that your focus wasn’t even on him.

“Why are you spending time with us?”

Your eyebrows furrowed at his question. Was there something wrong with spending time with them? Did they have a bad reputation? Did Eddie not like you or something?

Although Richie was happy that he won the round, he sent a glare to Eddie. He didn’t want to win because you were too focused on Eddie’s questioning than the game.

“Why do you ask that?”

Eddie was confused by your confusion. Everyone in Derry knew that they were the outcasts. Even though Henry is locked up, they still get ignored by other people. No one wanted to spend their time with them, that’s why the Losers club was so close to one another. They could only truly confide in each other.

“Because, we’re losers,” Eddie stressed, causing you to let go of your control stick.

Richie groaned and slid his hand down the machine. Why does Eddie have to ask questions like this? He’s going to scare her away.

“Losers?” You questioned, turning your body to face Eddie, “I don’t know what you mean by that.”

Eddie’s mouth fell open as he deadpanned at you. How could you not know about them? “Everyone in Derry knows to ignore us unless you want to be harassed by Henry and his goons.”

You thought about his words for a moment. If you were caught associating with them, these so-called losers, then you were going to be teased by this guy named Henry? That sounds ridiculous. “That’s stupid,” You scoffed, “What did you do to Henry to make him such an asshole?”

The boys looked at each other with slightly widened eyes. She should realize by now that they were talking about none other than Henry Bowers. “Have you been here for the past 10 years?” Richie inquired, taking his spot next to his friend.

“No, I moved here a couple days ago.”

Their eyes widened with realization. Eddie let out the breath he was holding, his body visibly untensing. At least now he knew you weren’t just messing with them. You weren’t getting his friend’s hopes up just to leave him in the dust.

“Who wants to move to a fucking beaver camp?” Richie blurted out, earning a harsh smack on the arm from Eddie. Richie slapped his hand back, letting his friend know how offended he was.

You smiled at the teenagers, shaking your head slightly at their mini argument. “You tell me. I definitely didn’t want to come here with the amount of children that go missing.”

The two friends froze at your words, flashbacks of the clown replaying in the back of their heads. Richie swallowed thickly, willing the thoughts back. “Why did you move here then?”

You narrowed your eyes at their sudden stillness before brushing it off. You did bring up a pretty disturbing topic. They have probably experienced the disappearances first hand. “My dad got transferred here. He said the police force needed extra hands.”

Not anymore. Richie and Eddie exchanged some more glances before looking back at you. “Well, I’m going to leave you two to the game. Sorry I interrupted,” Eddie apologized, taking a few steps back.

You shook your head, stretching out your hands in front of you. “It’s no problem. We probably needed a break anyways.” Your focus turned back to Richie before you smirked. “Ready for round 5?”

Richie grinned, holding up a quarter that he dramatically inserted into the Street Fighter machine. “Just don’t cry when you lose, sugar.”

You scoffed at his comment, stretching your fingers one last time before placing your hand on the joystick. “I should be the one saying that to you, trashmouth.”

You both were once again enveloped by the game in front of you, taunting each other when you had won. Time flew by as quickly as the day before, making you almost sigh from disappointment.

“Looks like I need to go,” You announced, looking at the wall clock.

Richie deflated a bit but nodded his head as you grabbed your leftover quarters from the surface of the machine.

“See you tomorrow?” You asked, crossing your fingers behind you in hopes that he would say yes. Despite how weird it sounds, you enjoyed his company and wanted to spend more time with him.

Richie opened his mouth to say yes before immediately closing it and shutting his eyes. “Actually, my friends and I are going to the quarry tomorrow.” 

You tried to not let the disappointment on your face be noticeable, putting on a small smile as you clutched the bottom of your shirt. “Oh, well I hope you have fun.”

Before you could walk out of the arcade, Richie stopped you, clutching onto your forearm. “Actually, do you want to come with us? Bev will be there too so you won’t be the only girl.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked back at his eyes through the thick rimmed glasses. Was he inviting you to spend time with his friends? A real smile graced your face and your body relaxed. “I would love to.”

“Ah, cool,” Richie said, nodding his head in silence. After a few seconds, he realized he was still holding onto your arm. Instantly letting go, he shot his hand back, cringing at himself. “I’ll meet you here at 10?”

“Yeah, sure,” You said, waving at him before leaving the arcade, “See you tomorrow!”

“Really fucking smooth,” Richie cursed under his breath, the urge of slamming his head against the wall becoming almost unbearable.

three

Masterlist

[ddproductionsw77]

At The Kissing Bridge

Fandom: IT (Muschietti Films)

Pairing(s): Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak)

Characters: Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier and (Mentioned) the rest of the Losers

Rating: T (Strong language)

Description: Richie takes Eddie to the Kissing Bridge to show him something to ease his doubts about the future.

Author’s Note: So, this kind of just came to me while I was working on another one shot for the Losers and I just went with it. I hope you like it and I apologize to the people who’s requests I have yet to get to for my easily distracted brain. 

Oh QUICK QUESTION: Would you guys be interested in me writing up some of my headcanons for the Losers and the Next Generation Losers?

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A warm summer breeze swept across the tall grasses of the Hanlon property, causing Eddie to pull the hoodie he was wearing, which did not belong to him, closer.

It felt odd, he reflected, looking over his shoulder at the barn glowing from dozens of strings of lights hung carefully across all the rafters by himself and Beverly. Mike had provided the space, Bill’s parents the decorations, he and Beverly the manual labor.

It was odd to know it was the end of something important. To feel like you were standing at a precipice, knowing the only way forward with straight down into something entirely unknown. He had to admit that, sure, high school hadn’t exactly been all rainbows and sunshine but it had been a devil that he’d grown familiar with. College... the future... that was an entirely new monster.

Biting his lip and running his thumb over the raised scar on his palm in the hoodie pocket, Eddie reminded himself that, compared to his past, the future could only get easier. Anything would be better than some of the terrors lurking in his past.

Still, he found himself, sitting alone on a log outside of the Hanlon’s barn the night of his graduation party, scared shitless. Because it was easier to fear what you’re facing rather than something you still can’t explain, perhaps. Maybe because it was just the way he was wired... to be a fucking coward.

At that moment, his friends were feet away, laughing and drinking and dancing to Janet Jackson without a care in the world, but it felt like he couldn’t join them. Like he couldn’t chance infecting them with his damned anxiety. He wanted to be like them, carefree like them, in love with life and possibility like them... it just wasn’t who he was.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice the footsteps approaching through the grass behind him until his guest spoke.

“What are you doing all by your lonesome out here, Eddie?”

Nibbling at his lip, Eddie shrugged, turning his head once again to meet the dark, warm eyes of his boyfriend, “Dunno...”

Richie rolled his eyes, not in a mean way or a teasing way, Eddie could tell, but in a bemused, endeared sort of gesture. A rare moment of genuine emotion from the boy, honestly, one of the moment generally reserved for Eddie alone. Sitting beside him, Richie nudged him with his shoulder, “You’re gonna have to do better than that to get rid of me, Eds.”

Eddie chuckled, quite humorlessly and looked back at the ground, “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Richie asked and though Eddie couldn’t see him, he could see in his mind’s eye that cute eyebrow quirk that he always did. “You been steppin’ out on me, lovey dovey?”

Eddie shot Richie a look, adding monotonously, “Ha. Ha.”

“Come on,” Richie reached over, wrapping his arms around Eddie and bring him close. The chill Eddie had been feeling since leaving the barn’s warmth instantly faded away and he felt himself, despite himself, responding to Richie’s touch by snuggling closer. Richie rested his stupidly taller chin on the crown of Eddie’s head, running a hand up on of the hoodie’s sleeves. “I thought you hated this hoodie? You always lecture when I wear it.”

“Smells like you,” Eddie mumbled, slightly abashed, snuggling into the hole-y, monstrosity of a hoodie

“Goddammit,” Richie sighed, hugged his boyfriend closer, “You are so fucking cute, Eds, I can’t stand it.”

Eddie pulled away to glare at him before leaning back in to rest his head of Richie’s shoulder, “Rich?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you scared?”

“Of?”

“The future? Any of it... all of it?” Eddie sounded serious and unsure, leaving Richie little choice but to respond as close to in kind as possible.

“Shit, Eds, I don’t know. I don’t think like you.”

Eddie knew the remark wasn’t meant as a critique, just a simple truth. Part of his love for Richie was born from them not thinking alike, after all. He didn’t snap back, like he might have if they were having a more normal, casual conversation. Now, he didn’t need that. He needed a bit more.

“What if... what if college changes things? Changes us?” Eddie asked, quietly.

“‘Us’ like the Losers?” Richie asked, “Or ‘us’ like you and me?”

“Either... Both.”

Richie shrugged, smiling teasingly when Eddie took his head off his shoulder to shoot him a half hearted glare in response. As his boyfriend returned to his previous position, Richie sighed, “Well, then we change. Fuck, I think that’s kind of the point of college to an extent, Eds. So, sure, something things will probably change but there are somethings that never will.”

“Oh yeah?” Eddie asked, unconvinced, “Like what?”

“Like the fact that all of us belong together, like some shitty, fucked-up mosaic. No one’s ever get any of us like we get each other. It’s just never gonna happen. Losers gotta stick together.” Richie eyed Eddie’s head on his shoulder and raised it ever so slightly to gesture between them, “And as for you and me... I mean, I guess I can only speak for myself but I’m pretty fucking obsessed with you. Pretty sure that won’t burn out anytime soon.”

“You don’t know that,” Eddie quipped, sitting up and picking at a sleeve of the frayed black hoodie.

Richie cocked his head to the side, watching Eddie for a moment before jumping to his feet, “I got something to show you.”

“What?” Eddie looked at him, confusedly.

“Yup, come on and get your cute ass up, we’re going somewhere,” Richie ordered, pulling Eddie up now. “Give me your keys.”

“No! Tell me where you plan on going at one in the morning!” Eddie argued, looking over his shoulder at the barn, where Madonna was now playing, “Besides, if we’re leaving, we should go say goodbye.”

Richie followed Eddie’s gaze to the barn and shrugged, taking advantage of Eddie’s distractedness to reach into his front pocket and grab the keys to the car, “They’ll just assume we’re rolling around in the hay or something.”

“That’s disgusting, Trashmouth,” Eddie chased after his boyfriend, trying to snatch at the keys as they approached the car. “Richie, I’m serious! Fucking give me my keys! You’re not on my insurance!”

“I’ve driven your car a million times, smartass, but cute try.” Richie got into the front seat and started the engine, looking across the car to where Eddie stood stubbornly outside of the passenger’s side door, “Get in, my love.”

“Tell me where we’re going,” Eddie snapped back, arms crossed over his chest.

Richie replied easily, “The Kissing Bridge.”

“Oh, ha ha, Richard,” Eddie rolled his eyes, “When was your last drink?”

“An hour and a half ago, I’m seriously good, Eds. I wouldn’t drive you if I weren’t. Now, get in.” Richie answered, waving Eddie in.

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie muttered darkly before finally giving in and climbing into the passenger’s seat. “Where are we going? For real.”

“Told you,” Richie shot him a smirk, “Kissing Bridge.”

“And what does that have to do exactly with what we were discussing before, idiot?” Eddie asked as Richie pulled out of Mike’s long driveway.

Richie laughed and shook his head, “Can you just trust me for once, Eddie Spaghetti?”

He received another cool glare before his boyfriend answered, “I’m in the fucking car, aren’t I?”

“That you are.”

They drove through the night and Eddie tried his best to keep his mind open. He’d wanted a real conversation with his boyfriend, not some stupid goose chase or whatever it was Richie had planned. Sighing, he watched out the window and was surprised to realize that they were indeed driving toward Derry’s notorious Kissing Bridge.

“Okay, what are we doing, Richie?” Eddie asked, “Because I am not hooking up with you on the fucking Kissing Bridge, okay? And besides, that doesn’t prove anything about what will happen in the future—“

Richie pulled to the shoulder right before the bridge and reached over Eddie’s lap to grab a flashlight from the glove compartment, “Eddie, shut the fuck up and follow me, okay? We can save the hooking up for later, if you’re desperate.”

“Me, desperate? Very funny, Richie.” Eddie shot back, following Richie from the car. “You’re the one who get a boner every time I so much as yawn.”

Richie turned to point the flashlight back as him, “Okay, first of all, you know you stretch all sexily when you yawn and you do it on fucking purpose so fuck off, Eddie. And second of all, it was one time! Like right after we’d started having sex, might I add.”

Eddie slapped the flashlight away from his face and shoved Richie gently while smirking to himself. So, maybe sometimes he did stretch when he yawned of purpose... so what?

“Why the fuck are we out here, Trashmouth?”

“Well, if you’d stop distracting me, I’d show you, wouldn’t I?”

“Fine, fine, I’ll just shut up then. A lesson you could take notes on.”

Richie chuckled at his boyfriend and raised the flashlight to the wooden planks of the bridge, glancing from carving to carving. Finally the beam landed on one that caused him to pause and pull Eddie gently toward him by the wrist.

“What?” Eddie asked, turning toward where the beam of light shove of against the white, chipped paint of the bridge. He scanned the area and stopped short upon seeing a pair of initials carved into the wood. “Is that—?”

But the letters were unmistakeable.

R + E

He stepped forward, running his fingers over the clumsily engraved letters, feeling his heart beat faster and his mouth go dry. Turning his head back to Richie, who was watching him, he just barely managed to find his voice, “Did you—?”

Richie nodded, stepping forward and cocking his head to the side as he inspected the carved letters.

Looking between the letters, which appeared worn and old, and his boyfriend, who looked nearly bashful, Eddie’s eyebrows drew together, “But... when?”

Richie sighed and used his free hand to rub the back of his neck, “Uhh... Summer after seventh grade.”

Eddie whirled around time stare at him, eyes wide. “Summer after... but that’s the summer that... we were only 13 that summer.”

“I know,” Richie shrugged and chuckled a little, “I told you before, Eds, I’m kind of obsessed with you. That didn’t just start when we started dating. Look, a lot of shit went down that summer, I know, but figuring out how I felt about you... that’s always been at least one good thing to come out of all of it. I didn’t completely get it then but... Look, Eddie, what I’m saying, in a sort of fucked-up, confusing way, is that I loved you then. I love you a hundred times more now. And I’ll love you even more in the future, college can change whatever else it wants to but it won’t change that. It wouldn’t be possible. You could tell me to fuck off tomorrow and I’d still feel that way.”

Eddie swallowed hard, looking back at the initials carved by a boy he’d once known, a boy who had grown into the man standing there with him now. That boy and his Richie now were different people, just like his Richie now and the one who graduated college four years from now would be different people.

But Richie was right, he’d loved the boy who’d carved their initials into the Kissing Bridge, he loved Richie as he was now and he’d always feel that way. An unknown future couldn’t change that, at least.

Shakily, Eddie looked back at Richie, “D-do you have your pocket knife?”

Richie did that cute eyebrow quirk but reached into his pocket and retrieved the knife, holding it out to Eddie.

Taking it, Eddie carefully butterflied the knife open and delicately went about crouching down before the worn initials. Slowly and taking extreme care, he gently traced over the letters until they were once again clear and plain to read before standing back up, closing the knife and stepping closer to Richie.

“So, you see, right, Eds? We’ll be okay and—“ Richie was silenced by Eddie gripping the front of his t-shirt and tanking him down into a heated kiss.

Barely remembering to keep his grip on the flashlight, Richie wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him closer, kissing him harder. Eddie, he’d long ago decided, was his favorite taste. Like spearmint toothpaste and chapstick but also so much more complex and wonderful than just that.

Pulling away for air, Richie gasped, “Fuck, I love you.”

“Shh,” Eddie rested a finger against his lips to silence him once again, leaning up on his tip toes to kiss up Richie’s jawline to his ear, “Do me a favor?”

“Hmmm?” Richie hummed, eyes drifting closed until Eddie bit lightly at his earlobe.

“Forget what I said earlier about hooking up on the Kissing Bridge,” Eddie pulled away and grabbed Richie’s arm, leading the way back to the car.

“Oh yeah?” Richie asked, half stupidly and half excitedly.

“Oh yeah,” Eddie laughed and took the flashlight from Richie, turning it off and opening the car door to the back seat to throw it and the closed pocket knife on the floor. He then climbed into the back seat and shot Richie a teasing, questioning look.

Richie did not hesitate to follow after him.

[nemo1230]

Delayed flights and delayed romances

Eddie was exhausted. Suddenly being hit with tons of memories about huge part of his life that had been wiped out of this mind for 27 years, reconnecting with people that had once meant the world to him, and killing a psychopathic killer clown with said people, wasn't the easiest process mentally and physically, nor was being impaled trough the stomach and bleeding out an extreme amount of blood.

So yeah, Eddie was exhausted. It has been a month of being in intense medical care, constantly being surrounded by doctors, the white of hospital walls and the extreme sterile atmosphere. Eddie was pretty sure the smell of medicine had already soaked into his pores, since that's all he could smell these days.

Usually it was fine, being enclosed within hospital walls wasn't anything unfamiliar for him yet sometimes he knew that the shortness of breath, tears that blurred his vision and the panic rising in his mind had nothing to do with his newfound wounds. He wasn't a stranger to panic attacks. He had had them for most of his life, but only now, finally piecing together the missing parts, he understood the roots of them. Finally, after so many years of constantly feeling lost and empty, like something was always missing, but never quite being able to grasp what exactly it was, he could find the explanation to so many things in his life.

For instance, now he knew why he was married to a woman that was the exact replica of his mother. He now understood why he went such extreme lengths worrying about his health. Now, he knew why there always was an empty, hollow space in his heart that he never seemed to be able to fill no matter how hard he tried. At some point he even stopped trying. He just simply let go, continuing to live on with this void, deciding that maybe, he just simply was this way, that there really wasn't any hope for him. That he was meant to lead a meaningless, insignificant life. Also, he now understood why he never in his life felt any real attraction to his wife, nor any other woman for that matter.

But now he knew. In the heat of the moment, there hadn't been much time to entrain that thought, but spending a month in a hospital really did give a lot of time to think. Especially, spending that time with Richie. Richie, trough it all, had stayed with him. The rest of the losers, after a lot of convincing had left to continue their lives. Still, it included a lot of Skype calls multiple times a day.

Yet Richie had stayed. Richie, with his stupid jokes and weird antics that Eddie still rolled his eyes at yet couldn't stop the chuckle that usually escaped him. Richie and his stupid Hawaiian shirts that he still seemed to wear despite it being 27 years passed, Richie and his face that's still as handsome as Eddie remembers it being when they were kids. And Richie and his worried, caring and desperate expression that he sometimes caught having while watching Eddie, when he taught he wasn't looking. But Eddie was always looking. He hadn't been able to take his eyes away from him, if he had to be honest.

Which he found himself doing being while sitting next to Richie in an airport, in New York, waiting for Richie's flight to LA. Once Eddie was discharged from the hospital, Richie had insisted on coming with Eddie to New York to help him. Eddie had said that he's not a baby, and he can do shit by himself, Richie had said he knows that, but he still wants to help, to which Eddie had replied that he already has helped plenty, to which Richie then had loudly said that maybe he just wants to spend more time with Eddie. And that had shut Eddie right up. And that settled it.

Richie had helped Eddie get to his home, patiently waiting outside when Eddie had gone into his house, feeling like he was willingly accepting a death sentence, to tell Myra that he wants a divorce, calmed him down in the car, and then offered Eddie to just come with him to LA. Eddie had said that he needs to think about it.

He did need to think about it indeed, because even though he had finally accepted that he was, in fact, desperately in love with Richie, he didn't want to just throw himself in this whole relationship thing. First, he had to finalize his divorce, because even though his wife was just his childhood trauma making him subconsciously seek out the very same things that had hurt him in the first place as well a result of years of trying to repress his sexuality, by law she still was his wife, so any romantic intercourses with other people would still be cheating. Then, he would probably need to find a job. And a therapist.

And also there always was the slight chance that he was reading this whole thing wrong and Richie really was just being a good friend and his actions held no romantic intent. Oh lord, Eddie really hoped that wasn't the case.

But yeah, anyway. Eddie was exhausted. He was ready to fall into a bed and sleep for days, even though that's pretty much all he's done this past month.

Richie's flights boarding was supposed to start in about 10 minutes when trough the speaker they heard a monotone voice announcing that flight number 232 Air LA to Los Angeles International airport from New York JFK, is delayed by 5 hours.

"For fucks sake, really?!"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Yeah, now Eddie was exhausted and pissed. Five fucking hours? Well, technically, it wasn't his flight, he could leave any time he wanted, but well, the thing was, he didn't. He promised Richie to see him off, and he was determined to keep his promise. He didn't really know why to be fair, Richie wouldn't be angry, he even tried to convince Eddie to go home, or rather the small temporary apartment that he had rented, to rest, but he had refused. Something held him back. Something told him to stay, so he did.

They had fallen into silence after the first hour, both tired and perhaps, for the first time, they were in new territory. A still, simple moment between just the two of them, with nothing to hold them back, besides their own fears. Of course, they had been alone together plenty this last month but never really like this. Before, there always was something bigger standing in the way. Returning to Derry, Pennywise, in the hospital, Eddie’s horrible state, going to New York, Eddie's nerves about having to talk to Myra. But now? Nothing stood between them, except the obstacles they put there themselves.

They were sitting side by side, knees touching and that for some stupid reason made Eddie’s cheeks heat. What, was he in high school? Jesus.

Richie was looking at something in his phone and Eddie was reading a newspaper. Not actually reading though, because he really couldn't concentrate with Richie being this close.

The atmosphere was strained and stiff. It was like there was something both of them wanted to say, but the words were trapped between them, never being able to move forward.

He was used to feeling tense around Myra all the time, but back then, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that there were things left unsaid, it didn't matter that he, while marrying his wife, had wondered what it was like to hold another man's hand.

But now it did matter. At least to him. And a small voice inside of him told him that it did to Richie as well.

Overcome with sudden recklessness, he decided that maybe he actually could say something.   He cleared his throat. Okay. He could do this. Richie won't judge you. He might laugh a bit, but then it's fine, you can write it off as joke. It's fine.

"Richie..." He started, but my found himself unable to continue.

"Mm?" Richie mumbled, not looking away from his phone.

Maybe that's better, that he's not looking at me, Eddie thought. Eye contact always makes everything way more real.

"I.. I am, would you, that it is to say, well-"

"Dude, is Bill's stutter now contagious? Just spit it out." Richie had now paused the game he was playing and was locking his phone and finally looking at Eddie.

Eddie swallowed and mentally cursed himself. He was a 40 year old man, perfectly fine with delivering bad news to people, he was a risk analyst for god's sake, yet here he was, stuttering and not being able to even word the things he wanted to say properly. Richie was now raising an eyebrow at him, question in his eyes. "Wanna go fuck around in the shops? I'm bored out of my god dammed mind." For fucks sake.

Richie snorted, "That's what got you stuttering so hard? Eds, you secretly have a phobia of shops that you want to overcome or something? Because you have come to the right man, my dear fellow, I will show you the deep dark depths that those poor airport shops carry." He exclaimed, getting up from the uncomfortable, squeaky airport chair and taking his only luggage - quite old looking vans backpack.

Eddie shook his head, partly at Richie's theatrics and partly at himself. He could have just said something. But then again, at least, now, if Richie really hadn't been desperately in love with him since their childhood, or at least since meeting again in Derry, then they wouldn't have to spend 4 more hours in an awkward silence, or worse, Richie being accepting of him, yet gently turning him down and saying he loves him as a friend. That would be the end of Eddie Kaspbrack.

They walked through every possible shop the airport had where they were allowed to go, Richie picking up every weird object and making a stupid joke about it. Eddie joined in too.

When, 2 hours later they exited the last shop, each carrying a few bags of completely useless items, Eddie found himself panicking again. They had 2 more hours now. Perhaps he should stick to his initial plan, which is keep his mouth shut. Maybe it was better this way. And he had already made a mental list of all the benefits that would bring. His sanity however, was not one of them.

"Wanna grab something to eat, spaghetti man?" Richie's voice interrupted Eddie's inner struggles.

"Fuck you, asshole, I swear to god if you keep calling me that-"

"Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti-"

"SHUT UP!"

They kept bickering as they reached a nearby McDonald's. While Eddie could cite reason by reason why eating there was bad for your health, he was rather hungry, and well, to be fair, a burger did sound quite good just then, after a month of eating incredibly flavorless hospital food that tasted more like cardboard than anything, really.

He ordered a BigMac and even with Richie's teasing about the irony of the word 'big' and whatnot, it was worth it, since he at least finally could actually taste the food after thinking that his taste buds really had died.

They ended up spending there almost 2 hours and would have spent more if it weren't for the security guard that had thrown them out after they had starting throwing fries at each other and Richie accidently hitting another costumer. Eddie hadn't had this much fun since their childhood.

As Eddie finished wiping his tears from laughing too much, he checked his phone for the time and his eyes widened as he realized Richie's flight was supposed to take off in 20 minutes.

"Shit, Richie your flight, we gotta run!" He exclaimed, grabbing Richie's shoulder and shaking him.

Richie cursed as well and they stared running to Richie's boarding place, bumping into other people and laughing like teenagers once again, at their reactions.

With a little searching they found Richie's terminal soon enough and suddenly were faced with the fact that they had to separate.

Richie leaned down and put his arms around Eddie, hugging him tight. Eddie immediately wrapped his own arms around Richie, placing his head on his shoulder.

This was it then. Richie was leaving and it was fine, Eddie was perfectly fine with that. He already had made up his mind, earlier that was very foolish of him to even think of confessing and ruining everything they had rebuilt in the past month from the ashes that the missed years had created.

Richie took a deep breath and then let Eddie go. "Bye, then, Eds." he said, and perhaps Eddie would have heard the sadness tainting his voice, if he hadn't been so desperately trying to convince himself and he is, in fact, fine with all of this, and no, he does not want to go with Richie to LA. Why would you think that? Absurd.

"Bye, Rich." Eddie forced a smile and watched as Richie stepped backwards, still looking Eddie in the eyes, as if waiting for Eddie to say something else. What was there to say? There really wasn't. Nothing at all.

Finally, reaching the lady who checks boarding passes he nodded at Eddie one last time, before turning around and taking out his ticket and passport.

Eddie stood there, frozen, his mind blank. Something wasn't right. Something was missing. He felt like he was standing on an edge, the way forward was foreign. The way back was familiar, fell walked in but it didn't feel right. Yes, he had been on this road all his life, yes he was existing but.. it didn't feel like...

Richie was putting his backpack on the security gates, putting his phone down.

"Attention passengers on Air LA flight 232 to Los Angeles. This is the final boarding call. All passangers, please proceed to gate 3 immediatelly. Boarding will end in approximately 15 minutes time. I repeat. This is the final boarding call, boarding will end in 15 minutes. Thank you. "

There was no way. No fucking way.

Richie was on his way to take back his backpack.

For fucks sake. There goes Eddie's well crafted, perfectly structured plan right out of the window.

He took a step forward, leaving behind the world he had known for 27 years, letting it crumble to pieces.

He took a step into the unknown, felt the blood rush in his veins, ringing in his ears.

... It didn't feel like he had been truly alive. And dear god and all heavens above, he wanted to live.

"Richie!" He screamed on the top of his lungs, making several heads of other passengers turn in his direction.

Richie, startled, turned back. "Eddie?" As he saw Eddie running in his direction, he rushed towards him as well.

Somewhere in the distance the security could be heard saying 'sir your what about your luggage’, but none of them heard.

They met in the middle, stopping only inches apart from each other, looking into each other’s eyes, both holding a deep desperation that maybe, finally, none of them could write off as anything else than what it actually was.

"I've got to say something to you," Eddie breathed, voice a bit shaky, his hands trembled and he had trouble deciding where exactly to put them.

"I think I've got something to say to you as well, but you can start." Richie replied; his voice held the very same breathlessness as Eddie.

"I.. Fuck! I'm in love you, have been since our fucking childhood, and I actually do want to go to LA with you." He finally rushed out in one breath, heart beating right out of his chest.

Eddie could see the exact moment when the words his Richie like cold water. His eyes widened, and while he perhaps, already had expected Eddie to say something along those lines, actually hearing them out loud shook him down to the very core.

"Looks like your mom and I will have to call it quits because I am too far gone for her son," Eddie rolled his eyes, Richie didn't pay any mind and continued, "I am in love with you too, Eds. And have been since our childhood as well. Well look at us, two dumbass, we could have had this-"

"Richie, I'd love to talk about this literally any another time, but right now you've got a flight that's leaving in approximately 9 minutes, so can I please kiss the shit out of you, so you can get on the plane?" Eddie interrupted Richie hurriedly.

Richie didn't seem to mind as he exclaimed rather loudly, "Oh god, fuck yes, of course you can."

Eddie immediately threw himself at Richie, smashing their lips together. Eddie seemed to have lost any self control by the entrance of the airport, as he kissed hard, not holding back whatsoever. Richie put his hands around Eddie's neck, pulling him closer, while Eddie put his around his waist, doing just the same.

Thread by thread fell apart any hesitation between them; they kissed with burning passion, breaking down all and every degrees of separation between them, years’ worth of longing clearly doing their part.

They recurrently pulled apart and panted into each others mouths, foreheads pressed tightly together. Eddie felt like maybe he had actually died and gone to heaven or something.

As Eddie willed to calm his emotions, which were going off charts at the moment, he stepped back slightly, to look Richie in the eyes. He took his face in his hands and smiled as he saw that Richie seemed to be on the same level of being absolutely wrecked, as he was.

As Eddie was about to open his mouth, to remind Richie to get in the fucking plane finally, Richie, as if reading his mind rushed to say, "Maybe I could stay? And we would fly together later? It's not like I've got anything important waiting for me there." He bit his lip, and looked at Eddie with pleading eyes.

As much as Eddie would have wanted that, he knew he had to have some time to actually get his shit together and he didn't want to put all that on Richie's shoulders. He wanted to get back on track on his own. Just with Richie by his side. Eddie smiled a small smile and signed, "Rich, you gotta go. You've already got a ticket, and I need to sort some shit out here as well. But don't you dare to worry; as soon as everything's done you bet your ass I'm going to be on the first plane over to you."

Richie looked like he wanted to argue, but then signed as well and nodded. “We better talk on the phone every single day, because fuck, if I don't hear your voice, I might go insane."

"Of course. I think it’s the same for me.” Eddie then pecked Richie on the lips and then pushed him forward, "Now go! This flight already got delayed enough; don't want to wait for the next one."

Richie stepped back and pecked Eddie multiple times until Eddie pushed him again and said a very warning "Richie".

Richie then finally made his way back inside the terminal, where a very intrigued security guard and the ticket check out lady were sitting, and upon noticing Richie returning, quickly pretended to not have seen the very dramatic love confession just now.

However, Eddie did see the small smile and wink that the lady directed at him, and he, now for tor the first time, thought about the fact that two dudes had just made out in the middle of the airport, and nobody had even really paid much mind to it. It filled him with incredibly euphoric feeling and he smiled back at the lady and then watched as Richie very hurriedly took his stuff and after blowing Eddie one last kiss, ran to his plane.

A little later, while sitting in a taxi back to his apartment, he got a text from Richie - 'made it to the plane. Missing u already xxx' and then a second one - 'cant wait to see ur dick ;)'

Eddie smiled to himself. Finally, after years in the darkness, he could see a bright future ahead of him. He couldn't wait to get to it. 

[stellar-alley]

•The One With The Maniac•

So this oneshot is gonna be just a little bit different from my others. It's going to be based on a song! I'm hoping to do a couple of different songs oneshots. This one-shot is gonna be based on Conan Gray's Maniac. I hope you guys enjoy!

Also, just a little disclaimer if the Losers are kinda out of character...

Summary: Based off of Conan Gray's Maniac. Richie wants Eddie back so he shows up at his home all alone, with a shovel and a rose.

~

Maniac

You were with your friends, partying When the alcohol kicked in Said you wanted me dead

Friday's sun was setting over the small town of Derry. Two teens finished off a six-pack of beer as they sat side by side in the back parking lot of their local mall.

"Rich, Truth or Dare?" The redhead asked the trashmouth as he passed her his cigarette before responding, "Dare" he smirked.

The girl took her time, pondering about the dare. She blew smoke into the cool April air before she spoke, "If you could kill one person at school, who'd it be?".

"Bev! I said a dare, you've gotta get your ears checked darling-"

"Answer the question and you'll get your damn dare" She responded, a glare in her eyes. He tended to do this when he didn't get what he wanted.

"Fine... If you've gotta know, it's that asshat from the cafeteria. Eddie fucking Kaspbrak" He responded with a rolling of his eyes.

"Isn't that the guy who ruined your shirt?" She asks, although her voice is soft, not much emotion since she's paying more attention towards the cigarette between her fingers then the conversation she was having. "The guy you dated?" She wondered allowed,  without realizing the line she had just crossed.

"Yeah, the total creep. And the nerve of that kid! Coming up to me in the cafeteria, ruining my favourite shirt. I wish I could've given him the beating he was asking for" Richie mumbled as he pulled another cigarette out from his pocket and lit it. He was tired of always having to wait for Beverly to pass hers back.

It wasn't as big of a deal as Richie made it out to be. Eddie was walking through the cafeteria with his friends, The Losers. The trashmouth was in the mood to have a little fun. So just for shits and giggles he stuck his foot out from beneath the lunch table and waited for trouble. Eddie hadn't noticed the hazard when he walked by, but that didn't mean he didn't trip and spill his mystery soup (not event the lunch ladies know what's in that shit) all over Richie and his favourite shirt.

Well, that's what he claims, the shirt was the one he won during his first track meet, the meet that changed his entire high school career, he did come in third after all. It's what got him from the losers table to the table everyone wished they sat at with the popular kids. (cliche ikr?). But his real favourite shirt wasn't technically a shirt at all, it was a button-down shirt, some may even call it a Hawaiian shirt. It was white with dark blue palm trees, but he never told his friends that, well at least his new friends... They didn't really know much about him, aside from the whole 'track star' thing and Richie wanted to keep it that way.

"Then do it... Anyone who ruins Richie Tozier's favourite shirt deserves it" Her response was laced with mockery, practically holding back the laughter.

Richie suddenly sat up a little straight, puffing his chest out in an attempt to seem more manly. "What? You think I won't?" He scuffed as Bev rolled her eyes.

"I know you Rich. Your bark is worse than your bite. You say you'll do it, and never will" She glanced away right when Richie jumped off the ledge, landing on the pavement before subtly stumbling over his feet. He quickly caught himself and tried to play it off. The two had been sitting on a ledge in the back parking lot of their local mall.

"Yeah. Well, guess what, today's the day you're wrong. Get ready to eat your own words, Marsh!" Richie practically shouted.

He'd already turned to walk away when Beverly shouted to him "Take pics for me". There wasn't much emotion in her voice though as she knew that Richie wasn't going to do it. The two had been friends for years and she would bet that Richie would make up this elaborate plan but end up spending the night alone in his room, then wake up with an ache in his wrist. So she simply watched his back as he slowly disappeared into the night.

So, you showed up at my home, all alone with a shovel and a rose

The front door opened almost immediately after Richie knocked on it.

"Hell-oh..." The voice stopped mid-sentence. Their eyes grew wide with shock "What the hell are you doing here?", the boy at the door hissed. Before either of them could get another word out, the boy at the door glanced over his shoulder and slipped outside, gently closing the door behind him.

Standing before Richie was his ex-boyfriend. The two had been best friends for the majority of their lives and decided to start dating in their sophomore year of high school. It went extremely well since the boys were head over heels for each other, powered by the countless years where they never admitted their love for each other.  Let's just say they had an epic love story, but the ending came too soon.

Richie was tall. Well taller than the boy who stood before him, he had a couple of inches on him for sure. Richie's hair was a mess of dark curls that flopped onto his rugged face. Unlike the other boy who's hair was layers of neatly combed brown waves that perfectly framed his soft face, where his confused eyes stared daggers at Richie.

"Eddie I'm so-" Richie started.

"No, stop-"

"Please just let me explain".

"Start with why you have a fucking shovel" Eddie jetted his hand out to motion towards the shovel that Richie had held over his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, shit" He cursed before carelessly dropping it, letting it clatter on the front porch. Now with the shovel gone, the only other thing in his grasp was the rose. "Eddie, please... I messed up and I'm sorry..." His voice drifted off as Eddie crossed his arms over his chest.

'Cause people like you always want back what they can't have But I'm past that and you know that So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em trash

"Yeah, Rich. You and the rest of the fucking world! You're the guy who wants everything that you can't have. You know that I don't swoon over you like everyone else at that damned school and it drives you completely insane" Some could say Eddie wore a smirk on his face, but it was really his way of bitting back the tears that were begging to escape.

Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad

"Fine. Okay, whatever. You're so fucking stubborn. Eddie, I'm apologizing! I never do this and what, you can't even accept it! I'm trying to fix something here" Richie stopped to let out a breath of air, a heavy sigh. "This is exactly why we never worked, cause you drive me insane. I can't believe I let things get this out of hand, I should've dumped you when you started stalking me-"

That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath

Then tell them you hate me and dated me just for laughs

So, why do you call me and tell me you want me back?

"Richie, you are the one who told your friends that it was a joke, that we weren't dating, then you went and cheated on Sally fucking Jenson..." Eddie's voice cracked as the memories of the past years flashed through his head.

The taller boy angrily ran his hand through his tangled curls. "I had to! I had to put on a show for the rest of the world so they'd get off my fucking back. What was I supposed to do? My boyfriend wouldn't even go public with me because of his overprotective mother" Richie knew the moment he said the words that he had just dug his own grave. "Shit, Eddie-" But he got cut off by the boy with watery eyes.

"What Richie, what do you want me to say? You knew that if I came out as being gay that my mother would fucking disown me. But you couldn't handle that..." his voice drifted off when a tear rolled down his cheek. He inhaled a shaky breath before continuing, "Y-You needed someone to show off to the whole school. Cause that's who you are, Rich. You're the Prince, but I'm not your fucking princess, not anymore...".

Richie didn't get another chance to say anything as Eddie's words were followed by the loud sound of the door slamming in his face.

You maniac You maniac

He knew to get behind the wheel was a mistake, especially after a couple of beers. But he had no other choice, he needed to get home somehow. On the drive home, he couldn't get Eddie off of his mind. He was furious, well... he wanted to be. He wanted to be so mad that he'd go and out Eddie to his mom, just to see his expression. But no matter how mad he wanted to be, he just wasn't. Because he knew Eddie was right. He knew that he called Eddie a crazy stalker to his friends because of the one time Eddie followed him to the mall where he went on a date with Sally Jenson. That led to some bullying by his friends and he felt really bad, but what was he supposed to do? Stand up for his now ex-boyfriend and risk losing his rank? But those asshats never really got him, or his stupid jokes... Only the Losers ever did. Only Eddie really loved him, not the jocks he hung out with now.

Sadly to realize this, Richie's mind needed to focus more on his inner dialogue instead of the road he had just driven off of. The sudden force caused his head to slap against the steering wheel, sending a wave of pain through his head.  This mind was spinning.

Am I dead? SHIT wow... Heaven looks a lot like my shitty car- OH NO, IT'S HELL! Wait-

His thoughts were cut short by the soft music still playing from his car radio. Slowly the sweet sound of Sufjan Stevens' Mystery Of Love pulled him back to reality. He realized that he'd driven off of the road and landed in a grassy ditch.

Okay, Richie, you've got this... Just look around and see what happened

After calming himself down, that's exactly what he did. Looking around at the wreckage, it was clear he'd dented his hood and the bumper of his car, but everything else seemed to be intact.  That thought changed when he felt something under his nose. Quickly wiping under his nose with the hem of his sleeve, he realized his nose was bleeding.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, resting his head on the steering wheel.

You just went too far Wrecked your car, called me crying in the dark Now you're breakin' my heart

The phone rang one and a half times before it was answered. Richie was greeted by a voice that sounded normal as if he hadn't been screaming at his ex-boyfriend only a little over an hour ago.

"Hello?"

Richie wished he could've sounded as good as Eddie had.

He tried to steady his breathing, to sound strong, but he was only able to produce shaky words with a weak voice, "Eds... baby, light of my life, I fucked up"

The words sent shivers down Eddie's spine. He hadn't heard that phrase in a very long time. To others, the words 'Light of my life', are just other words of endearment. But to Eddie and Richie, it was a code, taken directly from The Shinning. It meant that the other needed help, that they were in an uncomfortable situation and needed to get out. For example if Eddie was about to have a panic attack in class and needed to let Richie know he'd signal him over "Light of my life, I need to go use the bathroom" and then he'd help Eddie. Or if Richie got invited to someone's house and he really didn't want to go, he'd use the code phrase and Eddie would come up with some fake thing they had previously planned to get him out of that situation.

Eddie jumped from his bed and retrieved his coat from the closet, simply asking "Where are you?", before leaving the house.

~

When Eddie left Richie on his front step, he rushed to his room, hoping to avoid his mother so she wouldn't see the tears streaming down his cheeks.

Fuck, FUCK! I was just getting over him... But of course, he's gotta come back right when I'm getting better.

There was a while where Eddie just laid on his bed on top of the covers. He was curled up into a ball, holding one of his stuffed animals close to his chest as he filled its fur with the tears that fell from his eyes.

By the time Eddie's phone lit up with a call from Richie, the other boy had already cleaned himself up and was reading in bed. As he attempted to escape his current situation.

So, I show up at your place right away

Wipe the tears off of your face

While you beg me to stay

Eddie pulled over onto the side of the road near the area where Richie's car sat in the ditch. The car visibly looked okay from behind, well aside from the smoke coming from the front of the car. Eddie slowly approached the vehicle, examine the damage as he got closer. The hammering of his heart in his chest only worsened the closer he got to the car.

His heart sunk when he realized that the driver's side door was already open. What he saw next caused everything to stop, his breathing, maybe even his heart. Richie wasn't there. Eddie quickly stuck his head inside.

"Richie?" His voice filled with urgency and worry as he examined the car. He wasn't in the back, or anywhere! The blood on the steering wheel only made things worse. "RICHIE!" Eddie shouted, getting out the car. His mind was racing as he raked his hand through his hair. Suddenly it felt like he couldn't breathe, no matter how hard he inhaled he could never catch his breath.

"H-Hey Eds..." The voice was weak, tired, but loud enough to reach Eddie.

The boy's head snapped towards the source of the voice, "RICH" Eddie almost exclaimed. Richie had gotten out of the car and dragged himself on the grassy little hill that led to the road. He was sprawled out in the dark green grass, with a bloodstain on the neck of his shirt.

Eddie ran to him, sliding onto his knees to be beside Richie before asking, "Holy shit... What happened?". After only a moment of being beside him, Eddie smelt something, he leaned closer and inhaled through his nose, "Fuck, Richie have you been drinking? I can't believe you honest-". But the shorter boy stopped when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around him. Richie had sat up and hugged Eddie tightly. At first, the other boy didn't know how to respond, but he slowly gave in and returned the hug. At that moment he felt his breath finally return to his lungs.

He realized in that moment that no matter what he was feeling or where they were, Richie was always able to calm Eddie down. Whether his head was in the clouds or he was in the middle of an anxiety attack, Richie was the only one who knew what to do, and it always worked.

Richie eventually pulled Eddie down onto the grass with him, where the two laid together, their limbs all tangled up and their fingers laced together as they held hands.

Well, people like you always want back what they can't have But I'm past that and you know that

Eddie's head was laying on top of Richie's chest. Slowly rising and falling with the deep breaths that Richie was taking. He slightly shifted his position, he tilted his head up to look at Richie. His eyes were clouded as he stared blankly up into the dark sky. "Are you really sorry?" Eddie's voice was low and soft.

The words caused Richie's eyebrows to knit together in confusion. He slowly sat up, leaning on his elbows causing Eddie to slid off of his chest, he laid beside him. "Eddie, I meant every word I said. I am really sorry about everything I did. I-I let the popularity get to my head, but you know I'd leave all of that behind if that meant I'd make you happy, you know that, right?".

Did Eddie know that? Did he trust him enough to not act out, to not cheat again or spread lies? What was he kidding... The two losers had been best friends since fricken kindergarten, he wasn't going to let Richie's title of Derry High Track Star change that. Cause deep down he was still his Trashmouth.

There was a moment where the two just stared at each other as if Richie hadn't just gotten into a car accident. It was like the rest of the world stopped for a couple of minutes, giving them time to just think.

"Prove it, Trashmouth" Eddie's demand caused a small shiver to run down his spine, no one has called him Trashmouth in a long time. "Prove that you're sorry".

"Whatever you want, my dearest spaghetti" Richie said, slowly closing the distance between the two.

Eddie didn't protest when Richie got closer. He almost didn't even react, he just sat there in shock when Richie's lips brushed up against his own. The kiss was very short and sweet as if the trashmouth was just carefully testing the waters. But Eddie had been testing the water for so long now, trying to figure out his feelings. Sometimes you've just gotta dive right in. That's what he did.

A moment after their lips parted, a smile filled Eddie's face before he leaned back in and kissed Richie Tozier. This kiss was different from the last, it was passionate and forceful, Eddie practically pushed Richie back onto the grass.

The kiss was filled with emotion. It was every moment that the boys didn't spend together over the past two years. Every time they wanted to call, every time they missed the other's touch, every sad night alone and sob session. Finally reunited under the stary night sky. After a childhood of yearning for each other, plus two more years.

So you should turn back to your rat pack, tell 'em trash Tell all of your friends that I'm crazy and drive you mad That I'm such a stalker, a watcher, a psychopath Then tell them you hate me and dated me just for laughs So, why do you call me and tell me you want me back?

Their lips parted for a moment and Eddie took the chance to ask "What about your rat pack?". His voice was quiet and mumbled before the two kissed again.

This time Richie leaned away, he gave Eddie a look and asked  "Why now Eds? Gotta ruin the moment" he smirks up at the shorter boy who laid on top of him, "What about them?".

Eddie pulled away, he mirrored the smirk that Richie wore, "What are you gonna do with them? They aren't exactly my biggest fans. What do they think I am again? A stalker? A watcher? A psychopath?". A playful tone filled his voice before he leaned down and kissed him again.

In response, Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and rolled over, so now Richie laid on Eddie's chest, his legs slowly wrapping around Richie's. "Fuck them Eds. It's you Eddie, it's always been you..." Richie's voice drifted off as he buried his head deep into the crook of Eddie's neck. His eyes closed while he soaked up the warmth from the other's body. He released a shaky exhale as  Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie's tired body.

"I-I love you Eddie" He whispered. For the first time in a long time, he was serious, no dirty undertones or jokes, he was sharing his true feelings with the boy he cared for most.

"I love you too Richie" he could feel Eddie's cheeks curl into a smile against his own. But he could also feel the smile when it faltered, "Never leave me again" the cold voice said as Richie leaned away so he could look Eddie dead in the eyes.

"It's you and me against the world, you maniac".

Word count: 3486

I hope everyone liked this one shot! I know it was kinda out of character but I really enjoyed writing it and giving the two different backstories and all. I also really enjoy Maniac by Conan Gray and I'm so happy I got to make my own story based on it.

Anyways I really hope you guys enjoyed this song based oneshot, and be prepared cause I've got more like this plan. And if you have a song that you want me to turn into a Reddie one shot then comment or message me! I take requests (;

That's all from my guys,

Until next time

so long and goodnight

[tozierpunks]

You might not do this be what if Eddie lived and got out Neibolt house some how and gets to wherever the loser are staying and is like sup fuckers I'm alive (if this could be Reddie that could be great)

I thought about this a lot bc like what if that big sleepy turtle bitch actually did something! In the Stephen King Wiki it’s described like so: “By nature, Maturin was kind, wise, loving, gentle, compassionate, benevolent, and had a very grandfather-like demeanor when he spoke to humans. Maturin was said to be constantly withdrawn into his shell, sleeping and rarely ever coming out for anything.” So imagine summoning Pennywise brought something else back to the sewers and that something was Maturin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Dark. A Dark that was cold and wet and scary.

But not Very Scary.

He promised “next time, we’re going with scary.”

Because “scary” alone wouldn’t be so bad if Richie was with him.

Who’s Richie?

Slowly - extremely slowly - the names and faces came flooding back.

Flooding.

His body floated to the top; wherever he was before... that place filled to the brim. With destruction. Death... Filling that could hide all the evidence. Nobody would know what happened here in the sewers. Nobody would’ve ever found him had he stayed.

He kept seeing a turtle, and he knew this turtle well. Except... no, maybe he didn’t. He couldn’t remember. The turtle knew his friends! Of course, he didn’t know who those friends were, immediately.

There were two in his mind, when he stopped to think. Something was off, though. Were they in some sort of optical illusion? She (Bev!) was drowning, but the water was (blood!) disgusting. He (Ben! Ben, I know him!) was also drowning. No. Buried. The dirt almost completely covered his face, but then the turtle fell in. Hit him right on the forehead, and he screamed something to Beverly. The turtle plopped into the blood, splattering some on her cheek. She forgot about the Very Scary though, because she saw the turtle, and she heard Ben.

But mostly, she heard Ben. She would forget the turtle, just like he would.

Just like Bill would when he saw it float by in the murky basement water.

I know Bill! I know him!

Eddie woke up gasping for breath. By the time he floated out of the sewers, into the same shitty water Henry Bowers was flushed through, he remembered everything. Feeling along his body, checking for the gaping hole Pennywise stabbed through him, he was shocked to find nothing. Not even a rip in his shirt.

Looking around, he saw the top of the turtle shell disappearing underwater. Curious, he dipped his head under, without a thought as to how putrid the river was. He could see the rocks on the ground, and a couple tiny fish, but no turtle.

Coming up for air, Eddie stood in the calf-deep water. The sun was directly overhead; he’d been underground for more than twelve hours. Squinting, he shielded his eyes as they adjusted to the light, and began his walk.

On that walk, he remembered exactly who he was. Eddie Kaspbrak. Risk assessor. Married... unhappily.

I need a divorce. I need... not New York.

His shoes squished with each step, water dripping off of him and leaving an obvious trail. Making his way to the inn, he stopped only in the parking lot. He knew that red car - not just the make and model, but he knew who owned it. He knew who it belonged to and he knew he wanted to be in that car.

                           ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Richie rubbed his eyes. Crying didn’t feel possible anymore without some sort of hydration. Could people kill themselves from crying too much? He didn’t think it’d be so bad, but what a pussy way to go.

Desperately trying to think of a joke, he huffed when he couldn’t. Nothing sounded worse than going back to his old life, forgetting his best friends, and pretending he was funny. Actually, there was something worse.

Honey... he’s dead.

It wasn’t Beverly’s fault, but he hated hearing her voice. He hated those words in that order coming from her mouth. He didn’t need to be told; he knew. Was it a crime to deny it? She got to kiss Ben in triumph when they beat the bad guy, so she could afford to say that. She could afford to have a conscience and make sure he was pulled out of the collapsing house-

“FUCK!” Richie roared, punching the wall. Although he thought he might damage it, he only hurt his knuckles. Shaking out his hand, he scowled. “Not as... strong as I thought.”

And he wasn’t, because the thought of losing Eddie wasn’t computing. It wasn’t registering. It would never be accepted in his brain, because it was a ten, on that good old scale of one to ten. It was unbearable. He wasn’t strong enough for losing the love of his life. It was-

Beverly screamed. Something shattered downstairs.

Instinctively, Richie ran. His heart was pounding. All he could think was: what now?!

Freezing at the top of the stairs, Richie was too overwhelmed at the sight to do anything else.

“Eddie?” he breathed. His heart started to beat again, differently from how it did before. He felt more alive. “You’re- you- how-”

“I need a shower, please,” Eddie said, waving as he briskly walked up the stairs. Beverly and Bill stood at the bottom, watching him in shock. Eddie almost breezed past Richie, but he couldn’t allow it. Not again.

“Hang on-”

“Richie, I’m covered in filth-”

But Richie couldn’t let him finish. He couldn’t even be sure this was real. Maybe it was a hallucination. Maybe Pennywise lived and this was a sick joke and they were all about to die...

Maybe Richie didn’t give a shit anymore. He lost Eddie, twice, and he couldn’t pass up another chance, because what if it was his last?

Crashing his lips into Eddie’s, he pressed him against the wall. Eddie didn’t protest. His eyes were wide, but after a moment, they closed. Better yet, he kissed back. He grabbed a fistful of Richie’s hair, fully intending on making a hair loss joke later.

For now though... they deserved this kiss. Their victory kiss. Their sigh of relief. Their finally.

Of course doubt, and tests on this reality, would come later. A poor explanation would eventually follow. At some point, the losers would understand or accept that Eddie was back. Derry granted one last piece of magic and it came in the form of their friends.

It would start with a phone call.

While Eddie and Richie kissed, sloppily learning the curves of each other’s mouths, with enough intensity to make their friends blush and look away, Mike ran into the room. His cell phone in hand, he struggled to speak.

“It’s Stan,” he finally blurted.

[tr4shmouth-tozi3r]

‘it’s okay, you’re safe now.’ - bill denbrough x reader

requested: yes & I totally feel like I could have done better on this one, but I hope you liked it!

(also wasn’t sure if u wanted me to scribble out your name or not I hope it’s alright that I didn’t.)

summary: Bill was set on going to the Neibolt house and even though everyone had protested, they all found themselves following him. y/n would always support Bill, no matter what. She knew what it was like to lose someone and never get them back, but she had a horrible feeling about this...

pairing: bill denbrough x reader

warnings: swearing, violence, and some fluff at the end;)

-

“Bill, wait!” Bev shouted after him, but he didn’t even look back. Everyone scanned their eyes over each other and suddenly there was a silent agreement.

We’re following him, let’s go.

And so they did, you included. Bill might have been crazy, but not to you. Even though you had this horrible feeling in your gut, you didn’t think his actions or emotions were technically crazy. It was his little brother. He had this small slither of hope that he would cling to, thinking that maybe somehow Georgie was alive.

For some reason, you disagreed. The further involved the eight of you became with this scary killer clown, the more you realized that he wasn’t just a man dressed up as a clown. He was sinister, he was evil. He represented something darker than any of you could have ever imagined. Killer man clown was just its favorite form.

You knew Bill needed closure or maybe he would find his happy ending and Georgie would be alive, but there was an unspoken knowledge that this was not the case. You’d been here before, but in a much different way. Now that you thought back on it, maybe it was Pennywise who had taken your little brother, too.

There was no way though, his body had been found and he had been murdered and you knew it was probably by one of those creeps that were always cracked out in town that linger through the neighborhoods looking for something or someone to pass the time. There were some fucked up people out here in Derry, but you didn’t think it could get anymore fucked up after your brother was murderered. But here you were, about to enter the house that was home to the most evil thing to ever shed light on Derry. And it was in this moment that a twisted thought had ran through your head as you threw your bike down on the untreated grass in front of the house.

Maybe if it had been Pennywise that took my brother, I could see him one last time. Just one more time.

The murder was never solved and the last time you had seen your brother was a warm summer night back in 86’. You were eleven years old. He was just seven. How could someone hurt a seven year old boy? You would never understand.

You beat yourself up for the next year after he had been murdered. You thought maybe if you played with him like he had asked, you could have helped him or maybe whoever did what they did to him, wouldn’t have even approached the two of you knowing there was a higher chance of getting caught. You went through every single but and what if that there was and you did this over and over again for two years after he had passed. Then that summer of 88’ you met the Losers Club and found your place with them. Then this year Bev, Ben, and Mike had made their entrance and you thanked God that you weren’t the only girl anymore.

You bonded with each of your friends differently, but Bill? There was more than just a bond there. After Georgie went missing, you were the first person he went to out of the group. He confided in you and he cried his eyes out. He cried so much you weren’t sure he had any tears left to cry, but oh boy, did he. He cried to you night after night after night. He missed his brother and he knew that you understood what he was feeling. He knew he could come undone with you, because you would understand. You would get it.

You had shared trauma, even though your experiences were not together. You connected on a deeper level because both of your hearts ached the same way.

You blinked and shook yourself from your thoughts and your eyes trailed over the house before you. Goosebumps worked their way up your arms and across the back of your neck.

“I have a bad feeling about this...” You whispered from in between Richie and Eddie and you swore you heard Eddie gulp from beside you.

“Bill! Bill you can’t go in there! This is crazy!” Beverly shouted at him as he stood on the top of the steps, silent. He looked at the front door and then turned around to face all of you.

“Look, you don’t have to come in with me, but what happens when another Georgie goes missing?” He looked right at you and he spoke to you with his eyes and you tensed up and nodded your head for him to continue. You knew he had more to say, “Or another Betty? Or another Ed Corcoran? Or one of us? Are you just gonna pretend it isn’t happening like everyone else in this town? Because I can’t. I go home and all I see is that Georgie isn’t there. His clothes, his toys, his stupid stuffed animals, but.. he isn’t. So walking into this house, for me, it’s easier than walking into my own.”

“Wow.” Everyone looked to Richie who spoke simply.

“What?” Ben asked.

“He didn’t stutter once.” He murmured, his eyes still fixed on Bill as the other boy whirled around to walk toward the front door once again.

“You’re right..” You whispered back to Richie and you both looked at each other in awe. Everyone fell silent for a moment and it seemed as though you had all come to the agreement that you were going to do it. You were all going to enter that house, but together.

The heavy feeling in your gut still hadn’t gone away and as you inched closer to the front door with your friends, it deepened and you felt like you were about to throw up everywhere.

“Wait!” You jumped at the sudden voice and turned to look at Stan who was fidgeting his fingers by his side, “Um.. shouldn’t we have some people keep watch? You know just, just in case something bad happens?”

“Wh-who wants to stay out here?” Bill questioned and everyone but you and Bev put your hands up.

Richie looked back at you and everyone else and you watched as he slowly turned back around and dropped his hand, muttering a small, “Fuck...” under his breath.

The eerie creak of the door opening rang throughout your ears and you couldn’t have agreed more with Richie.

Fuck...

-

One minute the four of you were closely tucked to each other’s sides and the next, Eddie was gone, then Richie.

You and Bill looked at each other, panic in your eyes after seeing what you had.

Missing. Richie Tozier. 13 years old.

“That’s my shirt, that’s my hair, that’s my face, that’s my name, that’s my age, that’s the date!”

“Calm down, calm down! Look at me, Richie, look at me. That-that isn’t real. It’s playing tricks on you.”

“Help me! Please!”

“Betty?”

“Ripsom?”

“Eddie... what are you looking for?”

“She was just here, where the fuck did she go?”

“Guys! Guys!”

“Eddie!”

“Hey, Richie.”

“Eddie? Eddie! Where the fuck are you, we’re not playing hide and seek dip shit!”

“Richie?”

“Bill! y/n! C’mon, open the door!”

You and Bill pounded furiously on the door before you, trying to get Richie from the other side. Your attempts at getting to Eddie had failed and now you were unsure of where he was and if he was even okay. Your stomach dropped at the thought of your friends dying here. There was no way you and Bill were letting this happen.

Suddenly the door flew open and Richie was falling to the ground infront of you and Bill.

“C’mon, let’s get outta-”

Bill was cut short by a low rumble coming from just passed the threshold of the doorway in front of the three of you. Your eyes all flew to the source and there was an old stained mattress on the floor. Suddenly, it was tearing at the seams in the middle and out popped a head, but not just any head. It was Eddie’s head. For fuck sake, it was Eddie’s head.

“Wanna play loogie?”

And suddenly there was something that looked like black tar, oozing from Eddie’s mouth and the three of you are in a panick, screaming in unison with the head before you and as the oozing substance starts to burn away everything in it’s path you find yourselves running in the opposite direction only to be met with three doors.

Not scary at all.

Scary.

Very scary.

It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.

And suddenly you heard a small voice call out to you from behind. You whirled around and the black ooze had disappeared and you saw the back a child, running passed the doorway.

Your brother.

You walked slowly, approaching the doorway with caution and you could feel your heart beating so fast in your chest that you thought it might explode.

You peered out into the hallway and a door had slowly shut at the end of the hallway before you could see who it was. You don’t know why you did what you did next, but you silently walked out of the room before Bill or Richie could notice you and you found your hand tightly wrapped around the door knob of the room you had just watched someone shut the door of. You shook with nervousness and you told yourself, ‘Fuck this isn’t real, but I just want to see him. I want to see him standing in front of me. Talking to me. Just one more time. This is what I wanted. This is what I wanted.’

You flung the door open and your eyes darted around the room, searching. And that’s when your eyes landed on the dark corner of the room.

He was hunched over, covered by the shade as the sun shone through the window blinding you from across the room.

“y/n?” Your head peered out of the room at the sound of Bill’s voice and you silently stepped forward and shut the door quietly behind you. As you turned back around, he wasn’t hunched over in the corner anymore. He stood before you and it was not a pretty sight. His face was gashed open on one cheek, bags under his once vibrant happy eyes and his lips were brittle looking and chapped. His clothes were ragged and torn apart and there were deep wounds surfaced all over his chest and neck. It made you sick to look at the state he was in.

He went to speak, his voice hoarse, “Why didn’t anyone come and find me? It’s been three years!” He shouted angrily at you and you flinched and backed away.

“We were looking. We always looked. y/b/n, we found you. You aren’t... you aren’t alive anymore, fruitloop.” Tears welled in your eyes and you called him by his nickname you had given to him back when you were both much younger. He loved it, it always made him smile. He wasn’t smiling right now, though.

“Yes I am, I’m right here! I’m right here! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE!”

His eyes rolled into the back of his head and his body convulsed in a way that made you cringe and squeeze your eyes shut. You peaked out at him, the sound of him choking on his own saliva surging through your ears and sending chills down your spine.

You knew you shouldn’t have followed him in here. You knew this wasn’t him, but this was as close to him as you would ever get again.

Suddenly his body was that of a contortionist, but it was much more gruesome. His limbs stretched and his voice was distorted and he broke out in a seizure frenzy. To say you were scared was an utter understatement. You couldn’t breathe.

And suddenly red and grey stripes of the sweater he last wore before he disappeared turned to slick yellow like a raincoat. And your eyes completely opened at this point.

You watched as he flew against the wall and his arm started to tear at the shoulder. He screamed louder, his voice going much deeper than normal.

And then all of sudden it was Georgie standing before you. He turned from the wall, and he spoke sinisterly to you, “Silly girl, It didn’t get your brother, how could he ever really be here? No, your brother died at the hands of a weakling and none of you could save him, now that’s sad. If I had been around that year, trust me..” As Georgie spoke, his voice glitched in and out. It sounded like him, then it sounded like Pennywise and in between it was deep demonic spurts of laughter before he continued on as he took his favorite form; Pennywise, “if I had sunk my teeth into that one, you never would have found him.” And before you knew it, it had grown eerily silent as you stared up into the eyes of evil itself. Your eyes finally couldn’t take it anymore and you let your tears spill and you screamed. You screamed so loud you had no idea what was happening.

Your hands flew up and out in front of you. You were punching and banging on his chest as you charged at him. You knew you wouldn’t win, but all the built up anger was finally exploding as he spoke about your brother. The hurt, the grief, the exhaustion; it all came flying out of you. He cackeled at your attempts and suddenly you were peering up into the abyss of sharp rows of teeth and faintly in the background you could hear as Richie and Bill pounded on the door.

Pennywise slowly loomed over you, yoking you up in his arms and you had no idea what to do. The only thing left to do now, was to give up.

You smiled through your tears and spoke, “I’m not afraid. Go ahead and take me. Let me see my brother.” Suddenly he was dropping you to the ground and snarling at you, his thick fingernails slashing across your chest as he disappeared through the closet door. Your head smacked against the wall behind you as you fell and your vision went blurry as you suddenly heard the door fly open and feet shuffling across the floor frantically.

-

You tried to open your eyes quickly, but found it rather difficult and suddenly panic took over you. You squinted against the harsh light of day as you felt yourself almost floating. You blinked harder and felt a twinge of pain shoot through your chest. You looked down and your shirt was torn, almost as if a werewolf had took a swing at you and cut you with his claws.

You were in an oversized bike basket. Confused as to how you ended up there, you looked up and behind you and winced as the pain shot through the back of your neck.

All you saw was the sun beating off of his clear skin and his rosy red lips were moving and his eyes were fixated on you, but you heard nothing. All you could hear was the ringing in your ears. His hand glided across your cheek and concern was etched over his features.

You started gasping for air and flailing your arms as you hit a pothole and everyone came to a screeching halt on their bikes. You suddenly noticed Eddie clinging onto his arm for dear life as he sat inside of Mike’s bike basket as well.

“Wh-what happened?” You sputtered and you coughed and suddenly blood was landing in the palm of your hand and your lips quivered at the sight and your hands shook with unease.

“You were attacked. It attacked you. Me and Bill got to you, but he already did some damage...” Richie spoke, out of breath and clearly shaken up.

Suddenly, you realized you were outside one of their houses and someone had said Eddie’s mom was already on the way. Oh boy...

You looked toward your other friends and noticed Ben had a nasty gash across his belly.

Soon, you found yourself laying against a tree in your friend’s yard and watching as Eddie’s mom yelled at in disgust at all of you. And your vision started going blurry again, but you could hear the muffled yells in front of you and see the silhouettes of yours friends as they were swaying back and forth and arms were flailing and people were falling. Were they fighting? Who was fighting?

“Guys...” Your voice was weak from all the yelling and the injuries to your body. No one noticed you speaking. They were still arguing, “Guys.” You spoke as loud as you could and they all turned to look at you. Bill was rushing over to you as your eyes rolled back into your head and you went limp against the tree.

-

You shot up, gasping for air and looking at your surroundings. You were in a hospital bed and Bill was sitting beside you. He sat up straight as soon as you woke up and your eyes met his before tears started streaming down your face, “I-it’s okay, you’re s-suh-safe now.”

You tried to speak and you couldn’t and he just kept telling you that you were safe now and everything would be okay and he stood up, nudging you slightly to push over. He climbed into the hospital bed with you and wrapped you up in his arms carefully.

“I p-promise, I-I-I’ll never le-let anything ha-happen to you a-a-again.” His voice was shaky and there were tears in his eyes as well.

“I saw him, Bill. I saw him.” You sobbed into his chest and clung onto his shirt.

“I-It wasn’t him.” He squeezed you tight and you sighed as your tears slowed down.

“I know... but I just... it’s like after this long I’ve started to forget what it was like to look at his face. Not in the pictures, it’s different. I forgot what his face looked like from my eyes. I forgot about the little freckles that sit on the bridge of his nose and the small scar on his chin from when he was 3 and he hit his chin off the piano. He looked so different. So... dead... but it was him in a way.” You started to cry harder now and you couldn’t stop and Bill grabbed your face between his hands.

“I kn-know. I-I-I’ve seen G-Georgie. I-It’s playing tr-tricks on u-us.” You searched his eyes and saw the hurt and the anguish behind them. His eyes darted over your face as well and you went to speak.

“Bill, I saw-” Before you could finish, he was pressing his lips against yours and you could feel the way his bottom lip quivered into the kiss, like he was trying so hard not to cry as he pressed his lips against yours.

You pulled apart, both of you trying to catch your breath and you looked at him in awe and he knew you were going to ask him why he did that so before you could, he spoke, “I-I almost lo-lost you t-t-today and y/n, that-that scares me kn-knowing that y-y-you could have di-died with-without knowing th-that...” He swallowed hard and took a breath, “Without knowing that I love you.”

He didn’t stutter when he spoke his last few words and your heart soared and your tears came again and you were smiling up at him, “God, I love you too, Bill.” You leaned up and pressed your lips feverishly against his.

“I-I swear, I-I’ll never le-let you get hu-hurt again. I-I’ll die be-before I let that-that happen.”

-

I actually really liked writing this and I made the reader have a slight backstory so for all of you that don’t have a brother the part where it says y/b/n = your brother’s name, you can just pick any name you would want. This was super short on the fluff but I thought it was really sweet and I hope you guys liked this(:

[just-jordie-things]

00:02:30:17 - Richie Tozier

word count: 2871 warnings: swearing request: @oceanspray5​: Richie x Reader soulmate AU with the timers counting down to meeting their soulmate? With Reader being a sweetheart and trashmouth being himself yet absolutely smitten with her anyway because she's the best thing in his life. And maybe focus on Richie and how he's nervous to meet his soulmate because of being insecure thst he's unlovable. Feel free to take this in any direction you would like or even modify the type of prompt! Thank you! ___

[ 00:02:30:17 ]

“Two hours, thirty minutes, and seventeen seconds,” Richie announced to Beverly, eyes darting between hers and the tattooed timer on his wrist.  “That’s how long you have to teach me how to be a good boyfriend”

“Richie-”

“Fifteen seconds!” He cut her off, watching the last two digits on his arm tick downwards.  “Fourteen!”

“Are you gonna do that the whole time?” Bev sighed.

Richie had begged her to meet him at a little diner in Derry that the Losers often hung out at.  Today was the day he was supposed to meet his soulmate, and he’d gone to bed last night excited, eager to meet them, who wouldn’t?

But this morning, he woke up feeling awfully anxious, not realizing how big of a deal this really was.  He was going to meet the love of his life today, the one person that was made for him, his other half, and as wonderful as it had sounded twenty four hours ago, now, he wasn’t so sure.

What if he wasn’t what they were expecting? What if he was too cude? Swore too much? What if they didn’t like that?

Overthinking was a hallmark of Richie Tozier’s personality.  It was right up there with ‘Makes Dirty Jokes’ and ‘Literally Can’t See’.  And now he was overthinking about whether his soulmate would hate that he overthinks.

“They’re literally going to fucking hate me, I can feel it.  I just know” Richie told Bev, who furrowed her brows while she sipped on a milkshake.  So far, she had just been sitting there listening to Richie ramble on about all his unecessary nerves.

“That’s impossible.  Really, impossible” She said calmly, but her kind words fell on deaf ears, and Richie babbled on.

“What if theyre- like- really fucking popular? Huh? What if it’s the most popular- what if they’re a cheerleader? Do you really think I should date a cheerleader,  Bev? I mean I do but I shouldn’t be with one-”

“You’re not even making sense anymore,” Beverly shook her head.  “You’re worried they’re gonna be…?”

“More popular than me keep up,” Richie groaned.  “No one wants to find out their soulmate is that weird kid! And I’m that weird kid!”

His yelling was making other customers turn heads, but neither Beverly or Richie cared.  They were used to the frustrated attention of adults.

“Alright, how about you take a deep breath, and we’ll start from the beginning,” The red haired girl suggested, sitting up straighter in order to get to business.  “First of all, no matter what you say or do, they won’t hate you, Richie.  Not only is it impossible, but this person is going to fall so in love with you when you meet”

“What if-”

“No.  No ‘what ifs’. It’s the truth.  You could literally stab them when you meet and the bond between you will still be unbreakable.  Do you understand? That should trump all else.  It’s unconditional, Richie.  Do you get that now?”

He shrugged his shoulders, picking up a fry from the basket in front of him and poking at the other fries with it

“I just- I don’t know, Bev.  I feel like- I feel like I won’t be…” He trailed off, feeling vulnerable and angry about it.  Luckily, Beverly was patient, and waited quietly while he tried to find the words.  “Enough” He finished, staring down at his food.

“Oh, Rich,” Beverly smiled, and reached across the table to set her hand on top of his.  “That’s the best part.  You’re going to be more than enough.  You’ll be everything, just like they will be for you”

Richie looked down at his wrist once more,

[ 00:02:15:48]

and a slight smile tugged on his lips.  In two short hours, and fifteen short minutes, he was going to meet his everything.  Some people weren’t so lucky, some people’s timers ticked on for sixty years, but Richie had only waited for seventeen.  And he was meeting them tonight.  At approximately seven o’clock.

“I can’t believe this,” richie said through a heavy breath.  He put his elbows on the table and hung his head in his hands.  “I can’t believe this is happening.  It’s too fast”

“Too fast? You’ve only known your whole life that this was happening today,” Beverly laughed, earning a glare from the stressed out boy.  “Come on.  It’s gonna be magical.  And romantic, and beautiful, and, oh you’re going to remember this day for the rest of your life”

“If I don’t have a goddamn heart attack and die right now, yeah maybe,” Richie mumbled.  “It’s only the most important thing to ever happen to someone.  And I’m not… ready”

Beverly gave him a soft smile, knowing that everyone would feel that way in the minutes leading up to the timer hitting zero.  But she also knew that he would be just fine, and all his worries were for nothing.

“I can’t wait to meet them,” She told him, her smile growing on her face.  “And I can’t wait to get an invite to the wedding…”

“Okay okay that’s enough advice outta you,” Richie cut her off, but she could tell he was trying to suppress his laughter.  “I gotta go”

“Go? You literally have two hours” Bev said, gesturing to the timer on his wrist.

“Yeah, but I gotta get some stuff first” Richie shrugged, sliding out of the booth and putting on his jacket.

“You have to go grocery shopping?” Beverly laughed.  “You don’t want to hang out some more?”

“Not grocery shopping-”

“Are you gonna go buy a new outfit to impress your date?”

“Nope,” Richie grinned, eating one last french fry.  “I’m gonna go buy flowers”

And with that, he raced out of the diner, leaving Beverly to laugh and shake her head.  

He was a mess.  Whoever it was that he met tonight was sure going to be someone special. ___

(y/n) had been wandering around Derry all day, checking her wrist every minute to see the timer ticking down.  Hours to minutes, her eyes were glued on the tattoo.  It led to her bumping into a few people, and doorframes, but even so, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the numbers.

She was terrified.

And now, after spending the whole day walking around town, she was sitting at the overlook at the quarry.  The bench there was worn down and usually required some dusting off for anyone to feel comfortable to sit there, but the view was too nice to pass up.

The sun was setting, and she liked watching the ducks swim around in the waters below.  The relaxing setting helped calm her nerves, since she’d been over-stressing all day.

All that was left to do now, was wait.

She was enjoying watching the ducks bob their heads under the water to eat when a loud sound pulled her from the scene.

“Fuck!”

The girl leapt up, spinning around just as Richie Tozier tripped over his feet and face planted onto the grass.  She gasped, and was quick to rush over to him.

“Oh my god!” She squealed, crouching down to his level.  “Are you alright?”

“Yeah- just- fuckin’ slipped”

She giggled as he pushed himself to sit up.

He finally looked up at her, and he just knew that the timer on his wrist hit zero.  He could feel it, like his heart was suddenly full and there was no chance of it ever being empty, ever again.  And just by looking at her, this stranger that he would spend the rest of his life with, he knew she felt the same way.

“Hey,” He mumbled, dusting the grass off his arms and legs.  “You… You’re-”

“Are those supposed to be for me?” She asked, smiling and pointing to the bouquet of daisies in his hand, slightly flattened on one side from catching his fall.

“Ah, fuck,” Richie groaned, trying to make the flowers look less ruined, but (y/n) just laughed again and took them from him.  “Yeah, they… were supposed to be… for you”

“That’s cute,” She mused, effectively making him blush.  “I’m (y/n)” She introduced herself, sticking her hand out towards him.

“Richie,” He replied, shaking her hand.  “This is… not what I thought” He said, and (y/n) sat down on the ground, a thoughtful look on her face as she studied his features.

He was cute, he was really cute.  She wondered if it was the fact that he was her soulmate that made him so goddamn attractive to her, but as soon as the thought crossed her mind, his wide eyes from behind his glasses met hers, and her heart melted, spreading warmth and butterflies throughout her body.

“What did you think, then?” She asked with an amused smirk.

“Honestly?” He asked, and she nodded curiously.  “I thought it’d be pouring rain, and then we’d see each other from, say, twenty feet away, and then you would run, literally, into my arms, and we would kiss all dramatic like”

(y/n) laughed at the detailed description, before looking up at the sky.

“Well, it’s clear skies, definitely no chance of pouring rain…” She trailed off, eyes nervously meeting his again.  “But, I’m still here?” She shrugged a shoulder, lips twitching in an anxious sort of smile.

“That you are...” Richie grinned, leaning forward a bit.  

(y/n’s) eyes fluttered shut as their lips met halfway, and for the first time in her life, she saw stars behind her eyes.  Soulmates were magical, they were perfection, and she’d never felt more at home than she did right now.

Richie’s lips were so soft, and she could tell already that she was going to enjoy the rest of her life with him.

When they parted, there was a warmth that could only be described as the spark between them.

“Wow,” (y/n) let out in a breath, her eyes fluttering open, finding him with the same surprised expression.  “Um…” She bit her lip, her cheeks burning pink while her heart started to beat out of her chest.

“Yeah” Richie agreed softly.

They both laughed quietly to themselves, and when Richie finally stood up, he took her hand to help her up as well.

“Well?” (y/n) hummed expectantly, and Richie furrowed his brow in confusion.  “Um, was it- uh- worth it?” She asked, showing a bit more of her shyer side than she had a few moments ago.

He just laughed, not sure how to tell her that this was even better than he could have imagined. ___

(One Year Later)

“Did you make sure to turn down the heat for the la-”

“-Last five minutes? Yes,” RIchie answered.  “You don’t trust me with cooking at all, babe, do you?”

(y/n) glared at him from where she sat on the counter.  Richie had decided he was going to make dinner for them tonight, all on his own.  She wasn’t allowed to help in any way, this was his treat to her.  However, she wasn’t all that much of a fan.  Richie didn’t have a great track record when it came to the kitchen, and this is what led to her always cooking or baking for them.  He was allowed to help her, sometimes, but she never let him cook by himself.

“Since you tried to make me a birthday cake and covered the floor with flour, melted the batter, and nearly started a fire? No, babe, I don’t trust you with cooking” She replied sassily.

“Well this is gonna be the best goddamn tortellini you’ve ever had!” He declared, and stirred the pot of boiling noodles.  “Sausage and cheese stuffed, manually, by yours truly,” He said, casting her a wink that she rolled her eyes at.  “And homemade sauce too!”

She had to smile at his efforts, he really did want to impress her.  But she was just so worried he was going to burn their food.

“Just a little longer, hon” He said, setting the spoon aside and taking the few steps over to stand in front of her.

She rests her hands on his shoulders and smiles down at him.  She’s barely any taller than him, but she enjoys having an inch or two on him for once.

Richie smirks back up at her, hands landing on her hips as she kisses his nose adorably.

He tugs her forward and helps her to her feet on the ground.

“That’s better,” He says with a small snicker.  She gives him a pout, but it goes away with a short kiss.  “Much better”

His eyes wander and land on her wrist, which was resting against his chest.  With a gentle hand he takes it, and his thumb smooths over the inked skin.  00:00:00

A smile tugs on the corner of his lips at the sight.  Sometimes he just has to check, to make sure this is real, and he’s not just daydreaming.  (y/n) knew this, and she found it incredibly sweet, every time.

They’d been together for a year now, and he was still in disbelief.

She leaned up on the tips of her toes and kissed him, for a satisfyingly longer amount of time than before.  Her fingers latched onto the collar of the flannel he was wearing, pulling him down a bit towards her so she could deepen the kiss.  And just as he was contemplating lifting her back up onto the counter, she pushed him away.

“The pasta!” She all but screeched.

Richie just laughed, and turned off the stovetop to finish up dinner.

After ten minutes of fixing up the sauce and assuring (y/n) repeatedly that’s it’s neither undercooked or burnt.  She wasn’t all too convinced, but she was too hungry to care all too much.

He made her go put on pajamas before making up her bowl of tortellini.  And when she came back, her heart melted at the sight of him setting up the sofa with blankets, a selection of her favorite movies on the cushion.

“You pick a movie, and then I’ll set it up, and you can relax and enjoy this sweet ass meal”

She giggled, and picked out a movie before settling in on the sofa.

He kissed her cheek as he settled in next to her.

At her first bite, her eyes widened, and she almost forgot to swallow.  She stared at her boyfriend in surprise, and he waited impatiently for what she had to say.

“Well?” He asked, motioning for her to say something, anything.

“Damn” She mumbled, before swallowing thickly.

“That good, huh?” He asked with a giggle.  It was a little out of character, but adorable nonetheless.  “Is it really? You like it?” He asked hopefully.

After swallowing, she grinned at him.

“Richie! I’m actually proud of you! This is amazing!”

“Great- wait, actually proud? You’ve never been proud of me before-”

“From now on, you can cook whenever you want.  But! You have to read the instructions every time!”

“Deal” He laughed, and they settled into a comfortable silence as they ate and watched the film.

After going for seconds, (y/n) was stuffed and exhausted.  She propped her feet up on the coffee table, and leaned against Richie, her head plopping onto his shoulder.

He loved when she did that.

And it didn’t take long for her to completely cuddle up against him, half asleep.  It was his favorite thing.  It was rare for her to make it through a whole movie.

(y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck, and then kissed his cheek.  When he turned his head to smile down at her, she reached up and pressed a much more passionate kiss to his lips.

He was taken by surprise, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

Even when she pulled away, his lips were still a bit pursed, and he quirked an eyebrow.

“And what was that gift for?” He asked, and was amused by the blush that dusted over her cheeks.

“Just cause,” She hummed, and gave him a sheepish shrug.  “Cause I love you” She added in a quieter voice.

It wasn’t her first time saying it, but she’d only said it a handful of times, and it still made her nervous to admit out loud.  Even knowing that Richie was her soulmate, the destined love of her life, she was still worried about such things.

Richie smiled, loving how her blush darkened when she’d said it.  He loved her so goddamn much it hurt sometimes.  And this was one of those times.  She could be so shy sometimes, even though it’s been a year now and they had forever to spend together.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close.  He kissed the crown of her head as she nuzzled into his shirt.

“I love you too, sweets” He tells her.  He can feel her smiling against his chest.

Her hand settles against his wrist as they continue to watch the movie, tracing over the black ink rhythmically.

00:00:00

They had to be the luckiest people alive, finding each other so young, leaving them plenty of time to spend their lives together.

00:00:00. ___

xoxo ~ jordie

[katecarteir]

the real world

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] word count: 3,143 chapter count: 4 of 18 summary: after a sudden and unexplained disappearance, richie tozier returns to derry with a secret that no one person could ever hope to hold onto

read on ao3.

moodboard by the lovely @stanleuyris​. |

a lil work in progress playlist

the real world taglist: @stanleuyris​, @willelbyers​, @proton-disaster-blaster​, @richietoaster​, @beautifullillis​, @ichigokazuki​​, @protectthebyers​​, @lifesucksheres20bucks​​, @are-you-reddie-for-it​​, @reddiegaspbrak​​, @princesass-theresa​​, @appojoos​​, @cheekaspbrak​​, @roobarrtrashmouth​​, @reddiesmagic​​, @moonlighttozier​​,  @flamingcheetoess​​, @reddie-wise​​ (let me know if you want added!)

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @eddiecare, @eddiekabsprak​ @stanleuyris​, @appojoos​, @s-s-georgie​, @chaotickaspbrak​, @eddiefuckinkaspbrak​, @edstozler​, @emgays​, @anellope​, @thorn-harvester-ven​, @wheezyeds​, @vipertooth​, @tozierking​ (also let me know if you want added!)

Eddie and Richie were laying across Richie’s bed, Eddie’s legs dropped into his Richie’s lap and leaning back against the Richie’s inhuman mountain of pillows. Eddie’s mom said too many pillows lead to depression and trouble breathing, so Eddie was only allowed one pillow at the head of his bed. Laying down on Richie’s bed was always like falling onto the most comfortable cloud that had ever dropped down to Earth.

This had sort of become their new thing, over the last couple of weeks. Richie would drive them back to his house in his slightly rundown old Honda, and Eddie would stick around all afternoon. Eddie and Richie, sitting in Richie’s bed or the Tozier’s living couch, after school. Eddie had become a permanent fixture at the Tozier’s dinner table. They’d just sit around, doing homework or just doing absolutely fuck all, until the sun started to set and Eddie’s curfew hit. Some nights, Eddie could escape out his window and skateboard back over to sit and waste time in Richie’s bedroom into the early mornings. Which was a slippery slope all on its own, where Eddie could fall asleep in Richie’s wonderfully comfortable bed and nearly missed his mother’s morning check-ins.

“Fuck off, Tozier!” Eddie cried through laughter as he smacked at his best friend’s chest. 

“Hey, hey!” Richie said loudly, grinning from ear to ear. “Language. Little ears?” He pointed towards the bassinet. 

Eddie stared at him for a short moment, then scoffed loudly. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me, Trashmouth. You’re the biggest curser I’ve ever met in my life, first of all. And second of all, what do you think is going to happen? She’ll hear one curse one word from me, and suddenly be able to absorb information and repeat it back to you?”

Richie made a loud, offended noise. “Just because she can’t talk doesn’t mean she isn’t absorbing information, Eds!”

“Richie, she’s three months old!” Eddie burst out laughing. “She’s not absorbing anything except the formula from her bottle.” 

“Oh, yes.” Richie rolled his eyes, reaching into the bassinet and taking the sleeping baby into his arms. He smiled softly down at the sleeping babe, and then grinned up at Eddie. “Mr still afraid of babies.”

Eddie felt himself flush down the back of his neck. Something that hadn’t changed in the last few weeks of hanging around Richie was the simple fact of Riley making him totally uncomfortable. It wasn’t so much that Eddie was afraid of Riley, but that Eddie was afraid of him with Riley. She was so small, though he could see that she’d gotten bigger since Eddie had met her for the first time, and Eddie was sure he wouldn’t be able to take care of her. That he’d do something wrong and she’d end up getting hurt. 

Richie smirked at him, lifting Riley higher up in his arms. His smile dimmed slightly as he looked into the sleeping girls’ face. “You know, she’s not going anywhere, Eds. One day you’re going to have to stop hating her.” 

“Hating-” Eddie pushed up onto his shins and gave Richie a scandalized look. “Richie, I do not hate her. I just-”

Richie stood, Riley asleep in his arms, and looked down at Eddie with expectation. His stomach clenched awkwardly, potentially as though he was going to throw up. His heart hammered and his palms started to sweat. How could he possibly explain something to Richie when he wasn’t entirely sure about it himself? He was sure that if he told Richie of his fears about hurting Riley, Richie would be able to reassure him easily. Richie, king of clumsy, likely had very similar fears. But part of Eddie- a large part- didn’t want to be reassured. That thought was almost as nerve wracking as the baby itself.

“Richie!” Maggie called up the stairs, startling Eddie and Richie out of their stare down. Riley made a small noise but didn’t seem to wake. “Beverly is here.”

Richie’s eyes blew open wide and Eddie thought if his heart beat any faster, it would explode right out of his rib cage and onto Richie’s bedroom floor. Richie looked between Eddie, Riley and the bedroom for a moment before placing Riley back in the bassinet. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

“What?” Eddie hissed.

Richie looked and flailed his hands once they were free of his daughter. “You’ve been wanting us all to make up, right? This is a good chance to do it! I’ll talk to Beverly, I’ll… explain or I’ll make something up. I don’t know. Give her enough information that she’ll forgive me and things can go back to normal. That’s what we want, right?”

It was what Eddie wanted, but he wasn’t so sure that anything could ever be normal with their friends again. “And what?” Eddie asked. “You’re just going to have the conversation here? What if Riley cries or something? What would your explanation for that be?”

Richie shook his head, and bit down on his bottom lip. “I’ll go for a walk with her.” Richie said finally, grabbing his denim jacket off the back of his desk chair. “No risk of that then. Just wait for me to get back.” “With her?” Eddie squeaked, hands shaking. “What do you want me to do?”

“Eddie’s sleeping.” Richie said slowly, shrugging the jacket on. “It’s not a big deal.”

“And what if she wakes up?” Eddie cried. “You don’t even know how long this is going to take! Richie, you can’t just-”

“You know where her bottles are, and you aren’t an idiot, Eddie.” Richie said, stuffing a pack of smokes into his back pocket and jumping into his ratty old Converse sneakers. He tucked the laces into his shoes rather than tie them up, and Eddie wonders again how this disaster of a boy had managed to be such a beyond decent father. “My mom is downstairs if everything really happens. I’ll be back when I can.”

Richie was taking off out the door before Eddie had a chance to give a response. Eddie groaned and looked at the sleeping baby waringly. “Rich-” Maggie was showing at the bottom of the stairs as Richie came thundering down two steps at a time. “Good. She won’t be taking no for an answer, she was about to push past me right and come up there.”

“I was.” Beverly said, standing just behind Maggie with her arms crossed. She glared at Richie as he walked into the front foyer. Richie tucked his hands in the pockets of his jacket and forced a smile that Beverly didn’t return. “We need to talk.” 

“Yeah.” Richie said, throat dry and voice cracking. “I guess we do. Walk with me.”

“Richie…” Maggie said gently, quietly. 

Richie turned around and flashed her a warning look. “Don’t worry. I got it covered. It’s fine.” Richie pressed a hand to the back of Beverly’s shoulders, and ushered her out the front door. Beverly stiffened under his touch, but didn’t pull away. Good sign. 

“I know you want an apology.” Richie said as they set down the street. Beverly remained stone silent and Richie’s pulse picked up. “And you deserve one. It’s just-”

“Richie.” Beverly said roughly. “I know this isn’t some light thing. It’s you just jetting off to do whatever, okay? Your whole family disappeared for months. It was obviously something serious. I’m not mad that you had to take personal time or whatever happened. I’m not a monster.”

“I never said you were.” Richie said quietly, kicking at the ground where they walked. He sent a small rock shooting down the sidewalk. 

Beverly sighed slowly. “I don’t think that was directed to you.” She shook her head. “The problem isn’t that you left or really even that you didn’t tell us. If something happened to your family and you can’t tell us, that’s your business. But you’ve been lying to us and blowing us off since you got back. And that’s the issue. I won’t be lied to, Rich. None of us will. That’s not the friendship we have.”

“I’m sorry.” Richie said roughly. “I do love you guys, you know? I just… I’m having a lot of shit going on, you know? And shit is so different now and I’m adjusting to my life again and-”

“You’re adjusting to your life again, and the Losers aren’t part of it?” Beverly said coldly. 

“No! That’s not it at all!” Richie cried, but he wondered if maybe it was like that. He’d known that this sort of thing couldn’t be a secret forever, not a living human. Riley wasn’t some dirty little secret and Richie had no plans of keeping her life like that forever. His parents had expressed plenty distaste in Richie’s course of action, and Eddie seemed pretty weird about it, too. “I just… I have to get comfortable with how things are now because I can… let people back in.”

Beverly was quiet for a long time, then looked up at the sky. “Let’s go down to the old playground.”

Richie followed her, heart tense.

Eddie sat crossed legged, staring almost unblinkingly at the baby in the basket. Every once in a while, he’d squint to make sure her tiny chest was still moving. He’d reach out slowly, hand shaking, get close to resting it over the sleeping infant then he’d jerk his hand away. He held his hand to his chest, and he glared at her.

Maggie knocked at the bedroom door and pushed it open, holding a steaming white mug in her hands. “Hey, Eddie. I brought you hot chocolate.” She smiled at him. “With extra cinnamon, just how you like it.”

Eddie beamed at her and gladly accepted the drink. “Thank you, Mrs Tozier.” 

Maggie pulled out the desk seat and sat down. She smiled at him. “I think I should be thanking you, Eddie.” She said with a smile. “For being there for Richie. He really needs a friend right now and I know he’s so afraid that his friend won’t accept this part of his life. I doubt he’s said anything to you, but I know it means a lot to him how much you’ve been around and how supportive you’ve been.”

You know, she’s not going anywhere, Eds. One day you’re going to have to stop hating her.

Eddie sighed, clenching his fists together. “I don’t think I’m as supportive as you guys think I am.” Eddie said, clenching his jaws and trying to keep tears from forming in his eyes. “I mean, I am supportive! He’s doing something amazing and hard and I couldn’t dream of doing something like this. He’s probably the strongest person I’ve ever met but-”

Maggie kept eye contact with Eddie, smiling softly while he collected his thoughts. He sighed and shook his head. “I’m scared of her.”

Maggie blinked. “What? Riley?”

Eddie grabbed one of Richie’s pillows and clutched it to his chest. “Not in like, I think she could beat me up kind of way. But-”

“In a way, her existence changes your way of life kind of way?” Maggie asked gently.

Eddie frowned for a moment, letting that question turn over in his mind for a moment. He shook his head. “No, not even that.” He replied. “Like, yeah, of course, it’s like that, she’s changed everything but that’s not what I’m afraid of. It’s more like…” Eddie swallowed hard then began to spit out words at a rapid pace. “She’s just the smallest thing I’ve ever seen and I’m terrified that if I so much as look at her the wrong way, she’ll get hurt and that’s a lot of pressure and it really freaks me out like all the time.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Maggie got up from the desk and dropped down beside Eddie on the bed. She wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and he flopped against her gratefully. “I get that feeling. Went and I weren’t much older than Richie is when we had his sister. And it was terrifying. Went took it in stride, Richie gets that from him, I guess. I'm just worried all the time that I was going to do something wrong, or that something bad would happen to her. As she got older, it just got worse. I was so sure we were gonna really screw that kid up.”

Eddie thought on Richie’s older sister, Robin. She was about five years older, already out of Derry and halfway through her undergrad. Serious plans on becoming a lawyer, with a sweet boyfriend and a cute little apartment in New York City. Richie always pretended he and his sister didn’t get on, but Eddie knew he adored her.

“Robin turned out great.” Eddie said softly. “You didn’t need to worry about her. Richie though…”

Maggie chuckled. “Richie is a very different story from Robin. Has been since the day he was born.” The words could maybe be considered harsh, but Maggie’s voice was nothing but fond. “Both my kids are going to do wonderful things with their lives. Just very different things. And that’s okay.”

“You’re not disappointed in him?” Eddie asked. Richie had been extremely vague about his relationship with his parents. He’d mentioned that they’d been very financially supportive, and been great about making allowances for Richie and doing everything they could to make his life easier with school, but Richie had never really opened up to how things were emotionally between them.

Maggie sighed. “I was, at first. I think any parent would be, to hear those words coming from their sixteen year old child’s mouth. Went was furious with him, it was a painful trip to Indiana. But it didn’t take long for the disappointment to be replaced by pride. I’m proud of him for stepping up, for all the sacrifices he’s made without so much as a compliant. He’s a good kid and I’m proud of who he’s grown to be.”

Eddie nodded slowly, eyes dragging down to look at the sleeping baby. 

Maggie rubbed at Eddie’s back. “Don’t worry too much, Eddie.” She said softly, moving to stand up. “It’s not going to be instantaneous for you. It’ll come with time, I promise. You just need to bond with her.”

Maggie walked towards the bedroom door, and paused. She turned around and smiled at him. Eddie looked up from the sleeping baby, and frowned. “How do I bond with a baby? She can’t exactly hold a conversation.”

“And who’s to say that bonds have to be intellectual?” Maggie challenged him before leaving the room.

Eddie looked back down at Riley and slowly let his hand come out to rest lightly, barely touching, on her chest. She cooed in her sleep and Eddie smiled.

Beverly hung upside down from the monkey bars while Richie stood underneath. “I’m not going to beg you.” She said, while Richie’s eyes were glued on Beverly’s long hair falling towards the ground. “But I’m not sure we’ll be able to move forward as friends unless you give me something that’s actually true.”

“Do you remember the girl I lost my virginity to? At my aunt and uncle’s?” Richie asked Beverly’s hair. She hummed, still sounding a little disbelieving. It tugged at a part deep inside of Richie that remembered how much it had hurt when none of his friends had believed him about having sex. It didn’t seem like such a huge deal now, but the old Richie was still stung by it. “She was pregnant. We disappeared to go deal with everything she needed help with.”

Beverly dropped off the monkey bars, landing awkwardly on her shoulder. “Ouch.” She hissed while Richie rushed forward and helped her to her feet. “Holy shit, Rich. That’s insane! Okay, I totally get why you’ve been being weird. That must have been so crazy!”

“Yeah, it’s been really intense.” Richie said bashfully, scratching at the back of his neck. Beverly was dusting off her ripped jeans and Richie suddenly felt a wave of affection for her. She’d been one of the most important people in his life for so long that Richie barely remembered a time before being close to her. He opened his mouth, god help him, he was going to tell her, he would, he-

“Well sucks you had to go out there for the adoption process.” Beverly said, grinning at him. “I’m sure it must have been so hard for you both, don’t even worry about acting like a freak lately. I’m sure it’s hard to get over something like that.”

“Uh, well-” Richie said, clearly his throat awkwardly. “Actually-”

“But it’s for the best, I’m sure.” Beverly carried on, shaking her head. “Could you imagine you with a baby? That’s horrific, Rich.” She laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “I’m sure everybody involved is better off this way.”

Richie’s heart sunk and he clenched his jaw. He shook his head, and looked down at his feet. 

Beverly came forward and linked her arm through Richie’s. “Take however much time you need to adjust, Rich.” Beverly said. “I’ll get the others off your back, I’ll find something to tell them. Just don’t keep us waiting forever, yeah? We’re your friends, we miss you.”

“Yeah.” Richie said, guiding them towards Beverly’s house with his heart in his gut. “I miss you guys, too.”

When Richie got home, he bulldozed right past his parents without a word and booked it up the stairs to his room. He pushed open the door, trying to remind himself to be quiet in case Riley was asleep, but it was hard to be quiet when he could barely see past the tears in his eyes. 

He froze in the doorway, blinking the tears away to double check he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Eddie was sitting up against Richie’s pillow mountain, with baby Riley nestled and cooing in his arms. She had one of Eddie’s fingers tangled in her fist. “Hey!” Eddie spoke softly, beaming at Richie. “She woke up, but she didn’t cry so I don’t think she’s hungry, maybe I was wrong but she seems calm enough and-”

Richie flopped onto the bed, prompting Eddie and Riley to make similar surprised noises. Richie pressed his face against Eddie’s shoulder, eye line set with his daughter’s face. Eddie looked down at him and frowned. “Things didn’t go well with Bev?”

“It went absolutely terrible.” Richie mumbled against Eddie’s shoulder. “But Bev thinks it went well, so that’s what really matters.”

Eddie shifted, and sighed. “Do you want her?” Eddie leaned slightly towards Richie with Riley. “Because I get-”

“Nope.” Richie smiled and inhaled Eddie’s scent that surrounded him. “I am perfect just like this.”

Eddie flushed and looked away Richie to smile down at baby Riley.

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

ammmy, light of my life, can i get a richie going through his old toys and finding one of Eddie’s so he calls him up to reconnect? please and thank you! :)

remember me? I remember you

a/n:  this sort of turned into a thing? Let me know if you want a part two!

*Click title to read on AO3

* * * * *

Richie rolled his eyes as his mother disappeared up the flight of stairs that led to the attic. When he had made the decision to come home for the weekend to visit his parents, he hadn’t expected to be going through all his old toys and comics so his mom could make room in the attic for other things. He had wanted to spend the weekend chilling, maybe going out for dinner and spending some quality time with his parents, but nope, he was spring cleaning instead.

“Goodness, Richie, you have got so much stuff up here it’s insane! We really should have done all this before you went to college,” Maggie grumbled and Richie had to hold back a snort. After all, he had suggested they have a garage sale with all of the things he wasn’t going to be using after he graduated High School, but his mom just wasn’t ready to part with her only child’s youth.

He voiced as much, only to receive a grunt from the woman that birthed him and then suddenly a box was thrust downwards, almost hitting Richie square in the face. “A little warning mom!” He laughed, taking the box and sitting it down on the hallway next to his bedroom door. He remained on the bottom step, accepting any boxes from his mom before she emerged once more.

All in all, there were five full boxes of Richie’s childhood that had been stuffed up into the attic. Some of them were even covered in cobwebs, which caused a shiver to run down Richie’s spine just a little. A wave of sadness passed over him as he looked down at them, his messy handwriting making it clear which box was which. He might be twenty seven now, but looking at his old stuff made him feel fourteen again.

His mom seemed to sense the hesitation and she gave him a light smack on the arm, “Come on, we need to go through all of this and decide which stuff is worth keeping and what stuff I can donate to the Bangor Hospital Children’s Ward.”

A smile made its way onto Richie’s lips then. Ever since his mother dropped down some of the hours at the factory she was working at, she had been making up time by volunteering at the Children’s Ward in Bangor. He felt a little bad at the possessiveness he felt over some of the toys in the boxes, as he knew that he would never play with them again, but some of those kids at the hospital would.

“Alright mom, let’s get looking through these boxes!” Richie picked up a few and carried them down the stairs to the living room, where they slowly began opening them and making two separate piles.

The first few boxes were just a bunch of Richie’s old comics that he had spent most of his middle school and early teenage years reading over and over again. They were so worn from reading that Richie wasn’t sure the hospital would accept them, but his mom didn’t agree, these comics would make some little boy or girl very very happy.

It wasn’t until they got to the last box that Richie came across something that he actually knew he wouldn’t be able to part with. His throat closed up the moment he set eyes on the toy, and his eyes began to fill with tears. How could Richie have ever forgotten about this? More importantly who gave him it?

Gingerly, he reached his hand into the box and pulled out the luminous orange stress ball. The little smiley face was still present, but it had started to fade somewhat. Richie let out a choked laugh, and suddenly he wasn’t twenty seven anymore, but sixteen.

“I can’t believe you’re moving, tomorrow,” Richie whispered, his fingers picking on a loose strand of his sweater. Eddie Kaspbrak smacked his hand away, giving Richie a glare. He stopped picking almost immediately and looked down at his feet.

They were sprawled out on Richie’s bed, comics shared between them. The whole day had been spent at the Quarry with the other losers and Stan had even got the extra mile and made a picnic. It was a lovely goodbye party, but now, when it was just Eddie and Richie alone, it was really starting to settle in that this was the last time they’d be able to do this.

“Do you think I’ll like New York?” Eddie asked after a few moments of silence. It had been a topic of conversation for the losers ever since Eddie told him his mother was moving them to the city. He had never actually outright asked if anyone thought he would like it or not.

Richie pursed his lips, thinking over what to say to as no upset his best friend…and crush. Yeah, Richie was pretty much gone for Eddie and the fact that he was leaving him was like a punch to the gut. Deep down, he wished he had had the guts to tell him how he felt before, but he didn’t. He would never be able to tell him now, it just wasn’t fair on either of them.

“I think that it’ll become a place that you’ll love just as much as Derry,” Richie finally settled on, biting his lip in the process.

Eddie tilted his head to the side, clearly processing Richie’s words before he nodded, “Maybe, but I know I’ll never find another group of friends that I love as much as I love you guys. We’re losers, and we always will be, right?”

“Right,” Richie nodded, trying his best not to cry. The tears were for tomorrow when Eddie was in a car, driving south to New York with a van full of his belongings. “I’m really going to miss you, Eds.”

“Don’t,” Eddie shook his head, and Richie swore he could see tears in his eyes. “I don’t want to think about how we’ll probably never see each other again and that just…it’s too much for me to think about right now.” As soon as he stopped talking, Eddie jumped off of the bed and started to rummage through his bag.

Richie tilted his head and frowned, “Eds? What are you doing?” Eddie jumped back up, holding something behind his back, which was only stemming Richie’s curiosity. “Eds?”

“This is really stupid but…I wanted to be able to uh, give you something to remember be by?” Richie tried not to scoff, because there was no way he’d ever forget his Eddie Spaghetti. “So when I was shopping yesterday, I found this.” Eddie pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a bright orange stress ball with a smiley face on it. “For when you need to let out some of that energy.”

Carefully, Richie accepted the ball and looked at it in complete awe. Eddie had gone out of his way to buy Richie something he knew he’d use every day, so that he wouldn’t forget Eddie. “I love it, Eds. Thank you.”

Eddie flushed a little and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “I was um, wondering if we could sign our names on there too?”

This time it was Richie’s turn to flush red and he slowly nodded his head, pulling out a black sharpie pen from his drawer. He passed the pen to Eddie, who uncapped it and wrote his name in his lovely cursive writing, before passing it to Richie. His hands were shaking, but he managed to write his own name right next to Eddie’s.

He sat the ball on his dresser, so the pen could dry and he turned his head to find Eddie pulling his shoes on. That was when Richie realised that it was almost 10pm and Eddie had to be home. “Eds…”

“I’ll see you, okay?” Eddie breathed and Richie could only nod his head. Eddie moved closer, hugging him as tight as he could before pulling away. “Goodbye, Rich…”

“Bye, Eds.”

“Richie?” His mother brought him out of his thoughts and Richie soon realised that he was crying. He flipped the ball over and their names were still there, etched in black pen. How the fuck could he have forgotten about Eddie. His Eddie. His first love.

“Sorry mom, uh…” Richie cleared his throat. “I need to make a phone call.” He had no idea how he was going to find Eddie’s number, but if there was a will, there is a way.

* * * * *

Eddie Kaspbrak stared at the ring in the black box that he had bought over a week ago and he felt nothing but bile fill up in his stomach. His mother had been so insistent that he ask his girlfriend of a year, Myra, to marry him, even though he could think of nothing worse. Still, he went out and bought the ring, but he had still yet to ask her the damn question.

He didn’t even want to marry Myra, hell, he didn’t even want to be dating her. Eddie had come home from a day of work and Myra had been sitting at his kitchen table with his mother. They were polar opposites, but his mother was so sure she was the woman for him, he didn’t even have a chance to disagree.

Deep down, he knew what she was doing, after all, he had come out as gay to her about three weeks before Myra was introduced into his life. His mother had been so shocked that her son prefers the company of other men, she literally forced a woman into his life.

Was it crazy for him to still be hung up over a guy who he had been in love with when he was sixteen? A guy who he hadn’t seen in eleven years and whom was probably married with kids of his own now? The thought did make Eddie laugh a little, as Richie Tozier had never been one to show signs of settling down…ever.

Still, Eddie never forgot about his best friend from Derry, or any of his friends actually. Especially Richie though, he was always going to have a special place in his heart for Richie.

“Fuck,” Eddie groaned, tossing the ring box onto his bed and watching as it bounced up and down before landing by his pillow. “I don’t want to do this. Damnit, please, something, just give me a sign that I should just pack up my shit and leave!”

Of course, just like Eddie had expected, there was nothing. Not a single sound or movement that could even be understood as a sign he shouldn’t propose to the woman who makes his life miserable. With a sigh, Eddie stood up and put on a nice shirt and pants, pocketing the box in his pocket before he left the apartment to head to the restaurant where he would meet his mother and Myra. He had to do it today, his mother had said, there would be consequences if he didn’t.

When he was just a few metres away from the restaurant, so close that he could make out his mother and Myra’s forms sitting in the booth, Eddie felt his phone ring in his pocket. He froze for a second, wondering whether or not to ignore it and call the person back later, when he changed his mind. He was stalling for time, after all.

Without looking at the caller ID, Eddie answered the call and pressed his phone to his ear, “Edward Kaspbrak speaking?”

“Eds? Is that really you?”

The second he heard that all too familiar voice, the voice that he never could forget, Eddie froze in his tracks and jumped into an alleyway, shaking like a leaf. “R-Richie?”

“Holy shit it is you,” Richie breathed on the other line and Eddie felt a lump form in his throat. “Fuck, Eds…it’s been so long.”

A watery laugh bubbled out of Eddie’s lips and he wiped away a few stray tears with the palm of his hand, “Eleven years to be exact,” he whispered. “How- How are you? How did you even get my number?”

Richie chuckled down the phone and Eddie swooned. He had forgotten just how perfect Richie’s laugh was. “Funny story, uh, my mom was making me clean out some of my old toys and I…I found the stress ball you gave me the night before you moved away.” He started, his voice soft. “The second I saw it I…I immediately hated myself because I forgot about you. Kind of, I mean I didn’t forget but I…did. I know it doesn’t make any sense but anyway, the second I saw it, I knew I had to find you. To talk to you again. So I googled you.”

“You googled me?” Eddie asked, shaking his head in amusement because of course Richie would google him.

“Yes, Eds, I googled you.” Richie spoke as though it was obvious. “And I came across the company you work for. Risk Analyst, Eds? Really? I thought you wanted to be a Doctor?”

That was right, back in High School Eddie did want to be a doctor. Thanks to the move however and the new adaptation to his new life, he had fallen behind on his grades and didn’t meet the entry requirements. “I- I didn’t get into medical school, so I…yeah. I know the job sucks. I hate my job but a friend of my mother got it for me and I couldn’t really say no.”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone for a few seconds before Richie spoke up again, “Was I interrupting something?” He asked and that was when Eddie remembered his lunch plans. That was also when he remembered the sign he had begged for back at his place.

“No, no not at all. I wasn’t planning on doing anything.”

* * * * *

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-trashmouth @bitchbrak @sloppybitchreddie @its-stranger-than-you-think @maximusfraker @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @thejadeazalea @halfway-happy353 @tinyarmedtrex @inthebreadbinwrites @kat-ships-everything @takeourpure @lo-v-ers @mrs-vh @studpuffin @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @trashmouthtozierr @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @mars-14 @reddiesetandgo @marsisaplanetyall @xandertheundead @sedanleystanley @hawkinsbabe @beepbeeprichiellc @stellarbisexual @oldguybones @thundercatseddie @eduardoandale @purplepoisonedgem @reddie-to-cryy @pink-psychic @violetreddie @fuzzylogik @queen-sock @appojoos @moonlightrichie @rreddies @disneyfan567 @annxmatron @lifesucksheres20bucks @anellope @roobarrtrashmouth @are-you-reddie-for-it @callmechee @nancynwheeler @reddieforlove @twoidiotsinl0ve @madi-artist @tozierking

[reddie-fangirl24]

The One Where Eddie Finds Out

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Eddie paced back and forth muttering to himself if any of this made sense. Last night Richie left him a voicemail. Except, Richie mistook Eddie’s cell phone for Ben’s. For the rest of the night, Eddie stared up at the ceiling, relieved and terrified at the same time. Richie... was in love with him. This all felt like one of those Lifetime movies that Myra used to endlessly watch.

Richie was coming home later in the afternoon from his two-week tour. This was it. He had to talk to him about the feelings that he had for him. But how was he going to do that?

“Ben, I need to talk to you,” Eddie whispered to his friend that morning when they finished breakfast. Living together was great and all, but getting privacy was difficult. Just ask Bill, He wrote on the rooftop of this apartment sometimes. Even when it was raining.

Going out into the little hallway, Eddie nervously grasped his head, tangled his hair. He walked around in circles.

“What’s the matter, Eddie?” Ben asked him, reaching his hand out to touch his shoulder.

Finally, Eddie stopped pacing, and he looked into Ben’s eyes. “Richie left me a voicemail last night.”

“Oh, what did he say? Is everything okay?”

Eddie took a breath, feeling like he was going to choke. “He thought that he was calling you.” Ben’s eyes reacted to the comment, but he still tried to act dumb. “Ben, Richie loves me.”

Ben nodded, overjoyed that he could finally talk about this. He had no idea how much longer he could keep the secret. Back when they were in Derry, Richie accidentally admitted that he had feelings for Eddie when they were staying at the Inn. Embarrassed, Ben told Richie that there was nothing to ashamed about. Poor Richie struggled to open up to Eddie, always asking him for his advice.

“Yes, he does,” Ben nodded his head, making sure to keep his voice to a minimum. Eddie’s eyes kept tracing towards the door. “He wants to...”

“I love him, too,” Eddie admitted without any hesitation. Man, that felt so good to say! “So, how do I tell him?”

“The same way you just told me,” Ben told him, proudly. “When he comes back home today, talk with him.”

“What do I say?” Eddie asked starting to panic again. He controlled his breathing which was slowly starting to climb. Subconsciously, he dug inside of his pocket only to remember that he gave up his inhaler. He never needed it anyway. From help from Richie, he helped him think of techniques to help regulate his breathing if he ever felt like he was ever having a panic attack.

One night after Eddie had a horrible nightmare, he went to Richie’s room. Richie placed his hand right on his chest and the counted in deep breaths and then let it out. And then Richie let him sleep in his room so he wouldn’t be alone. It was the first night in years Eddie felt safe sleeping wrapped in Richie’s arms.

“Eddie, just tell him how you feel. Don’t try to fight it out of Richie. He’s scared to tell you,” Ben advised him, resting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Nodding, Eddie recalled Richie’s anxiety-ridden voice over the phone. Hearing Richie sound so hopeless made him want to cry. He hated when Richie cried. It took him days to stop crying when he first woke up in the hospital. Richie refused to leave his bedside no matter how many times the nurses told him that everything was all taken care of.

“Ben, were you worried that things wouldn’t work out between you and Bev?” Eddie knew that it was a personal question, but he needed some advice here. After his failed marriage, which never felt like a marriage at all, Eddie had no idea if he could ever make a relationship work. What if... he made Richie unhappy destroying how he felt about him?

Smiling kindly, Ben took no offense. What a great guy. “I was. But, Eds, don’t doubt yourself. You need to be confident.”

“Thanks, Ben.” That made him feel better. 

Richie was due home in about an hour. To get away from his nagging thoughts Eddie went back to his room to calm down. Richie was so good for him, that was a fact. He was not going to let his mother win. She was dead, but she still had her ways of getting to him. Eddie finally had the life that he always wanted, and he wasn’t going back to the past.

Hearing footsteps out in the hall, followed by a door opening, a man’s voice that he knew all too well echoed in the hall when he was greeted by his friends. Eddie stood up from his bed, took a breath, and he marched down the hallways to Ben and Beverly’s apartment.

“Eds! I missed you!” Richie greeted him the instant Eddie walked into the apartment. The delightful way he smiled at Eddie was never the way Myra ever looked at him. Most nights with Myra he stared up at the ceiling wishing that he could have the love that his co-workers at work had.

Richie always gave him a chance and he cheered him on whenever he conquered a new goal. Nobody ever did that besides his best friend in the whole world.

Taking no chances, Eddie was never going to lose Richie again.

Walking up to Richie, he wrapped his arms around him and kissed Richie right on the lips. Surprised, Richie kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s frame. The other Losers clapped, happy that their two very best friends were now a couple.

When they parted, Richie was out of breath. “Did you miss me that much?”

Eddie looked right into his sparkling blue eyes. “I love you, Rich.”

Quiet, Richie smiled, lifting his hand so he could touch Eddie’s face. Oh, this felt so nice, holding one another. “I love you, Eds.”

[dreamdaydreamer]

Bird Watching [Stan Uris]

A/n: Hi, this is my first imagine! Feedback is very much appreciated! Hope you enjoy!

***

“Y/n, what do you want?”

“Wow, Stan, charming. I was going to come bird watching with you!” You stood, looking expectantly at Stan, binoculars dangling from your neck and a small smile on your face. Stan had to admit, you did look at least a little cute, bouncing on your toes, hoping upon hope that he would give you the answer you were looking for. The problem was that you were a very excitable person. Even you could admit that. Always rambling, always laughing, always smiling. You could say that you were the quite opposite of the mature and reserved Stanley. He packed his backpack, making sure he had all his birdwatching equipment, simultaneously trying to find a way to let you down gently. It’s not like Stan didn’t like you, he did. A lot, so much he surprised himself. It’s just that you weren’t built for bird watching. You must be quiet and focused, you were simply neither of those things. Amongst that Stanley feared that he wouldn’t be able to spend more than five minutes alone with you without managing to embarrass himself, his face would blush an impossible shade of red and he would start stuttering over every word he said, resembling that of his best friend Bill. Although he hadn’t admitted it to himself, it was obvious, he had a crush on you. 

“Well that’s nice of you, Y/n. But I don’t think that you would enjoy it.”

“How come?” Stan paused at that, trying to choose his next words carefully, he didn’t want to hurt your feelings after all, he would feel awful if he did. Luckily, for him, Richie decided to step in.

“You can’t say or do anything, Y/n. You just have to sit there and shut up. Something you can’t do.” Stan didn’t think he had ever, and never would, thank Richie and his huge mouth but, apparently, today was that day. He still felt bad though, watching your face fall slightly at Richie’s unnecessarily harsh comment. Stan said nothing, he wished he could find something to say.

“Hey Y/n, why don’t we go into town, do some window shopping? I’ll buy us some ice cream!” Bev interjects, encouraging a slightly hurt Y/n. A smile brightens her face and Stan sighs in relief, Bev would be able to cheer her up.

“Are you buying us ice cream too, Bev?” Eddie asks, practically falling out of the hammock that he and Richie were squished into.

“No, this is a girl’s trip. You’re not invited.” She says, bluntly.

After much bickering, Y/n and Bev climbed the ladder of the clubhouse, Eddie in tow, infiltrating their girl’s trip out, Stan following them to make his way into the forest.

*

The next week, the losers went out to the cinema, not to watch anything in particular, but it was a Tuesday afternoon and it was pretty much empty. They get in to watch whatever’s on and then sit at the back, talking mostly. Making fun of the idiotic plot, the bad acting, the cringy dialogue, anything really. You made sure you sat next to Stan at the end of the aisle. You spoke to him mostly, sometimes leaning forward to answer a question directed at you. Stan could feel himself heating up. You were paying so much attention to him, hanging on to every word he said. It made him feel giddy inside, he was the centre of your attention, he didn’t think he’d been anyone’s centre of attention before.

That’s how it was for weeks. You gave your undivided attention to Stan. Always riding your bike next to his. You sat next to him in the clubhouse, listening intently as he flicked through his bird book, pointing out his favourite’s, usually the most beautifully coloured and majestic ones. Sometimes the other losers would joke that you were both ignoring them. It wasn’t true, of course, you weren’t ignoring them, purposefully anyway. You and Stan were just both in your own world.

Stan had started to think about you more and more. He had always liked you and thought you were the cutest person he’d ever met, but he’d never acknowledged his feelings for you until they hit him full force like a wall of bricks. He was laying on his bed arms behind his head and is bird book open on his chest. He had been trying to find more about Sandpipers, one of the most common birds found in Maine, and yet, he couldn’t. He just thought about you, and how interested you looked when he talked to you about Magpies and Thrushes and Hawks. He smiled, a rarity for him, and wondered whether you felt for him like he did for you. You did spend more of your time with him than the other losers, and you always wanted to hang out with him. You had even bought your own binoculars to go bird watching with him! Thinking about that, he felt even guiltier about not letting you go with him. You went through all the trouble, saving and spending your own money and he’d avoided taking you at all costs. Maybe I should take her, he thinks to himself, vowing to invite you on his next trip into the woods.

Meanwhile, you were also laying on your bed, your best friend Eddie spinning around on your desk chair, listening to you ramble.

“I mean, what else can I do, Eddie? I really like him, but I don’t think he’s getting the hint.”

“Why don’t you just ask him out? Then you’ll know.” He sighs, all he had heard about for the past month was Stan, and how much you liked Stan.

“No, I couldn’t do that! Maybe I should just forget it. It’s stupid to think he would like someone like me.” You sigh heavily. Manoeuvring your legs so that they lay propped up against the wall.

“The fuck do you mean by that?” Eddie stops spinning on the chair to look at you.

“I’m not is type. I’m too loud and…well, I guess I’m just too much for him. He won’t even let me go bird watching with him because I’d scare all of the birds away!” A frown etches its way onto your face.

“I really don’t think that’s the-”

“I’m not stupid, Eddie.” He says nothing, unable to help or lift the spirits of his friend.

The losers were back in the clubhouse the next day, the yearly Derry carnival had ended and there were no movies playing at the cinema. New Kids on the Block smoothly and quietly played from Ben’s stereo. He and Beverly, sat next to it, singing along. It provided background noise to Richie and Eddie’s incessant bickering whist Mike and Bill poured over a new book that Bill had bought the day before. Stan was packing his backpack once again, preparing for another bird watching trip. You sat, picking at the skin on your nails out of boredom. What would you do when Stan left?

Stan nervously picked up your binoculars, the ones that you had bought weeks ago, they had been left on a random table, collecting dust due to the lack of use. He brushes them off before walking over to you.

“I think you might need these,” You look up at him in confusion, but before you can ask why, he answers for you, “if you still want to go bird watching with me, of course.” You jump up, smiling, going to hug him before you refrain yourself. Stan was trusting you enough to let you go bird watching with him, so you wanted to prove that he made the right decision. Silently, you vowed to yourself to be quiet and respectful of the birds, and to not annoy him in anyway. The other losers had all stopped their conversations, even Richie and Eddie had stopped bickering, to watch the interaction unfold, the only being the low hum on Ben’s stereo playing the ‘Right Stuff’. You and Stan looked away from each other awkwardly, blushing madly.

The woods were quiet and serene as usual, the birds sang, and the branches rustled as the wind blew through them. Stan lead you to a small clearing, surrounded by trees and lighted by the sun. A large tree branch that had fallen now lay on the floor so you both sat upon it. Stan opened his backpack, pulling out both pairs of binoculars, his bird book, some water and chocolate.

“You thought of everything.” You say, as quietly as possible, smiling widely. Stan smiled too, appreciative of your compliment and your respect of the forest.

Every so often, Stan would spot a bird from his book. You, being a novice at bird watching, wasn’t as good, not even knowing where to look until Stan would place his hands over yours and guide the binoculars to where the bird was. You would giggle softly, apologising and shyly commenting on how beautiful the bird was. Stan would then tell you what kind it is, and a fact about it, before pushing the book toward you so you could see for yourself. He’d never thought about how fun bird watching would be with someone else, although he wasn’t sure whether he was only enjoying it more because you were there. With his binoculars still held up to his eyes, he turned towards you whilst you still looked through yours. This was his chance. His hear pounded in his chest, but he managed to stutter out,

“I think I just found the most beautiful specimen.”

“Ooh! Where?” You ask, head whipping around to face him. You didn’t think it was possible to feel so much elation inside of you, but when Stan lowered he binoculars and gave you a tiny smile, you swear you felt your heart soar like one of his Stan’s favourite birds. You raised your binoculars, looking at him through them.

“I think I’ve found him now.” He’s shocked for a moment, before he blushes, averting his gaze from you out of embarrassment. You both laugh awkwardly, unsure of what to do now after confessing your feelings. Stan looks back at you, grabbing your hand that lay in your lap. Squeezing your hand around his you both turn back to the woods, carrying on with the bird watching, wide smiles on your faces and love in your hearts.