#did you see my post where i said i had maybe 50 words left

[unforth]

May Trope Mayhem Day 1! Iron Triangle OT3 (vaguely Ultimate Notey?), Queerplatonic Relationship

Prompt Filled: Queerplatonic Relationship

Fandom: DMBJ (I tend to vision UN for things like this but it's non-specific)

Ship: Wang Pangzi/Zhang Qiling/Wu Xie (romantic Pingxie, platonic Pingpang and Pangxie)

Tags: vaguely post-canon, fluff, slice of life.

ON AO3

-

Sometimes, Wu Xie worries.

When he’s visiting Wu Erbai, or Zhang Rishan, or even Huo Xiuxiu, and they ask after Xiaoge and then move on to the matter at hand as if Wu Xie has no one else he’s close to who deserves their polite inquiries.

When he’s aching and bloody and the next wave of the undead is approaching, and Xiaoge puts himself between Wu Xie and danger, and he forgets for a moment that anyone exists in the tomb - in the world - other than the two of them.

When he’s lying in Xiaoge’s arms, replete and satisfied, boneless and flush from the afterglow, but the bed feels too empty.

Loving Xiaoge is inevitable, irresistible, and Wu Xie does so as easily as he breathes. Xiaoge owns half his heart, and always will.

But achingly often, Wu Xie feels the absence of the other half of his heart, hurts for the way that Pangzi gets pushed aside, ignored, disregarded. 

He wants to cry for knowing how complicit he himself is in Pangzi’s erasure.

But then–

“Oh, there’s that fat fellow too, right?” says Wu Erbai indifferently, his expression growing uncertain under the weight of Wu Xie’s glare.

But then–

“Xiaoge”–Pangzi hops up, his knife emerging from its sheath with a shing–“there’s more here! I’ll guard this passage, you guard that one!”

But then–

“Pangzi made breakfast,” Xiaoge murmurs hot in Wu Xie’s ear. “You eat. I’ll clean up here.”

Wu Xie’s relationship with Xiaoge is different from his relationship with Pangzi, and Xiaoge’s relationship with Wu Xie is different from his relationship with Pangzi, and Pangzi’s relationship with each of them is also different.

The triangle has three corners, and the lines that connect each corner to the other two are equally bright and bold, even though those lines aren’t drawn identically.

Much of the time,, Wu Xie wonders if he takes too much for granted.

He will not, must not, ever take Pangzi for granted.

Because I love him.

“His name is Pangzi, Er-shu, and he’s great,” Wu Xie says pointedly, staring down his uncle until he can force the man to acknowledge with a slight glance askance that he’s forgotten someone important to Wu Xie, that he’s not allowed to forget someone as important to Wu Xie as Pangzi is.

I love him, Uncle. 

“You’re hurt, Pangzi,” he says once the mob of zombies lies in a mangled heap in the middle of the cavern in which they were attacked. “Let me carry you.”

“Too heavy,” grumbles Pangzi. “I’m fine.”

“I could,” Xiaoge offers.

Wu Xie ignores Xiaoge and carries Pangzi anyway. 

I love him, Xiaoge.

“Look what I made,” Pangzi says with a brilliant smile as Wu Xie enters the kitchenette. A broad, expansive gesture from his large, strong hand shows jian bing (a little too brown around the edges), fried pork buns (gleaming with excessive oil), and store-bought youtian (cooked over-crispy when they were reheated). Xiaoge ghosts into the room behind Wu Xie, lingering in the doorway, and Wu Xie’s mind and heart flood with how beloved this moment is: them (together), in this place (together), sharing this meal (together), entwining their lives (together, together, always together).

Overflowing, Wu Xie circles the table and grabs Pangzi in a rough hug. Pangzi tenses, but doesn’t pull away.

“Wha?”

“I love you,” says Wu Xie, voice husky. 

“Tianzhen,” Pangzi replies awkwardly. “You don’t have to–”

“I love you,” Wu Xie repeats, holding him tighter. “I love you, Pangzi. I love you.”

Finally, Pangzi relaxes, returns the embrace, pats Wu Xie’s back. “It’s getting cold,” he says, hoarse, affected. I love you, too, Wu Xie hears, just as he heard it when Pangzi said I’ll guard the other passage, just as he heard when Xiaoge said Pangzi made breakfast, just as he hears it every time Pangzi chooses to stay with them, chooses to come with them, chooses to share their bed, chooses to have Wu Xie and Xiaoge in his life when he could have anyone else instead.

Wu Xie is about to pull away - he knows any longer of a display of affection will just make Pangzi uncomfortable - but then Xiaoge is there too, holding Pangzi from behind as Wu Xie holds him from the front, and for an endless, too-brief minute, they stand there together, the platonic love of Wu Xie’s life and the romantic love of Wu Xie’s life there with him, his perfect Iron Triangle.

“Enough already,” Pangzi grumbles, shaking them both off. “Sit. Eat.” And he demonstrates by leading the way, dropping into his chair and overfilling his own plate in flagrant disregard of Xiaoge’s and Wu Xie’s sitting empty on the other side of the table.

“Mn.” Xiaoge takes his own seat, filling Wu Xie’s plate and then his own.

As clearly as if the words have been said, Wu Xie knows that’s Xiaoge saying, I love Pangzi, too.

And Wu Xie can only stand and smile at these two men, these two halves of his heart, these two loves of a lifetime.

“Take more,” Pangzi urges around a full mouth, gesturing toward Xiaoge with his chopsticks; Xiaoge obeys as Wu Xie takes his seat.

It smells amazing, but still not as good as his two friends look.

Fuck, how lucky he is.

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART FOUR

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, Pedro being a dick but also a tiny little bit of fluff

A/N: I'm so sorry but I can't manually tag anyone on the post, the app won't just let me do it!

ALSO, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE TO GO FROM HERE, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS OR SUGGESTIONS LET ME KNOW! 💖

1.3k words

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

"What the fuck are you doing here, Pedro?!" You asked shocked, noticing your voice came out squeaky at the nervousness of the situation. In all the time you've known each other not once he came to your place unannounced and let alone broke into. You honestly had no idea what was that shit about but you didn't like it a bit. It felt so invasive, so creepy, that's definitely something you never expected from Pedro.

The man, on the other hand just scoffed and shook his head, looking at you with angry eyes

"I was just waiting for you, as you don't bother answering my calls nor my texts, I figured I could come and see if you were still alive, which I can see you are, alive and well, by the way, especially after the little date with your new friend. His name is Liev, right? Did you bat your eyes at him and giggled at every single thing he said just like you used to with me?" He got up and walked towards you, staring hardly into your eyes.

"So, you couldn't simply give me a heads-up you weren't coming to my house the other day? You're just too busy to even remember I exist, Y/N? But not to Liev, right? For him you have all the time in the world, what a fucking great friend you are, Y/N!" He said angrily.

You couldn't believe your ears, he had the nerve to come to your place and accuse you of being a bad friend? You clenched your jaw and you could swear if you had the guts you could punch Pedro right there.

You also took a step closer, showing you were not at all intimidated by his scene.

"A bad friend? Are you really calling me a bad friend? You gotta be kidding me, honestly, I can't believe your nerve to say that, if anything you're the bad friend here, you treat me as nothing but a cute pet, someone you like to have around and stroke your ego, but whenever you find something better, you forget I exist"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes

"Is this about the party again? Honestly Y/N what were you expecting? That I would stop my life for you? Just because you have a crush on me?! Please, grow up! You're not a little girl anymore, maybe it's time for you to find a man so you won't bother me anymore?" Pedro raised his voice but immediately regretted what he'd said. He saw how your eyes filled with tears, the disappointment was written all over your face. You swallowed and shook your head "I'm not talking about my feelings for you, I am talking about how bad of a friend you are, how cruel of you was to hump another woman in front of me, ditch me so you could go and fuck her, you left me there, as if I didn't matter, as if you barely knew me!!" You shouted angrily and looked down, drying your tears so he wouldn't see them.

"You're telling me to grow up? How about you fucking grow up? It's about time a man your age, get over this stupid commitment issue you got. For god's sake Pedro, you are nearly 50 years old, no wife, no kids, all your relationships won't last more than a year and you really think the problem is me? You are the fucking problem!" You shouted, not caring if his brown eyed that were often so full of joy were now sparkly with tears.

"I-.. Do you really think that of me, Y/N?" He asked in a low voice,

"I do" you said coldly. Pedro, on the other hand, felt so horrible about everything that happened and above all, about himself. He never believed he would be able to handle a relationship but the assumption you didn't have faith in him shattered his heart, you always saw the good in him, you believed him and supported him when things were so hard he felt like giving things up and now, he had ruined everything, just like he did with everything in his life that wasn't his career. He had given up a chance to be happy, to have his own family, and now he had lost you, he was sure.

You walked to the front door and held it open for him "I'd like you to leave now, you were not invited and I don't want your company, Pedro" . You watched him walk away in silence, turning around and giving you one last glance, blinking his tears and exiting your life.

•••

For the next months the only news you got from Pedro were through reels and headlines that insisted on appearing every time you logged in social media. You'd read somewhere he was shooting another movie in some country you didn't pay attention to, so that assured you you wouldn't risk running into him anywhere you used to go together. You hadn't talked since the day at your house, and you weren't sure if you wanted to talk to him at all, of course it was hard and so many times you had to remind yourself there was no one to send funny pictures you knew he would like, or talk about your interests or even hang out. You felt empty, emptier than you ever did after any romantic relationship you'd ever had. Your friendship with Pedro was intense and even if he didn't like you back, it was a love story, at least on your side of the picture.

Sometimes you wanted to check on him, see if he was doing alright, but you didn't have the guts, you both had hurt each other so bad, and after all, he did tell you to find a man so you'd leave him alone. You always thought of that when you typed a 'Hello' on your conversation, before erasing things up.

He was still the internet's sweetheart and each time a new picture or interview came out, he always seemed happy and excited so you wondered if he missed you at all.

You dropped your phone as you walked into the toy store, you'd been invited for your friend's toddler's birthday party. You'd met Kate through Pedro, he was friends with her husband, but the two of you hit off and you spent a lot of time together and now her sweet little princess Flora was turning three and you were looking forward to spending a cozy afternoon surrounded by happy children and your friend.

You picked the prettiest doll you could find at the store and rushed to Kate's house as you were almost running late.

When you knocked on the door Flora ran as fast as her little legs allowed her to almost bumping into her mommy who opened the door, welcoming you with a nervous smile. You could tell she wanted to say something, but Flora hugged your legs and as soon as you lowered yourself she wrapped her arms around your neck and snuggled you tight.

"Y/N!!!!!!" She squealed happily and her eyes immediately fell onto the beautiful and colorful gift you had in hands, she paid attention to nothing else but the big package and she felt pure happiness and excitement as she opened it and saw the gorgeous doll. Flora clung to you again and giggled

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N!!" She said overly excited and ran off to play with her new favorite toy.

Kate was distracted for a moment at how glad her daughter was and how cute the two of them were, however, her expression darkened and before you could even greet the other guests, she pulled you to the kitchen, where you two were alone.

"Y/N, before you get into the party, I must warn you… Pedro is here"

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A/N: Hi guys, I really hope you have enjoyed this chapter, it was a sad one, I gotta admit and I guess you all got the revenge you wanted on Pedro, he got a taste of his own medicine and it was not good at all! I gotta confess I'm beginning to pity him 🤦‍♀️ and as I said before, I still don't have a lot of ideas for chapter five, so if you guys have anything in mind and want to suggest, let me know! 💖

[artist-issues]

Your words and your posts have been incredibly disheartening for me to see. My mother left the church. She is not an apostate, but she did question the church’s teachings in secret. She completely left faith when I was born. I have congenital heart defects, which I was born with. I nearly died on the operating table. For this reason, my mother and I do not believe in God, who is said to be all-powerful and all-benevolent. My mother is a wonderful person. She risked her life in the Covid-19 pandemic as she works at a hospital. If anyone deserved to live in an eternal paradise, it would be her. Your LGBTQ+ views have also upset me. My oldest friend, who I have known since before I could even remember, is transgender and gay, and have been more supportive to me as a disabled person than any Christian has been. I’m only 18 years old, yet I know that you chose faith over experiences with the wonderful parts of humanity. Respectfully, please reconsider your views on gay and trans people.

I truly appreciate how thoughtfully and respectfully you typed out this message. It is clear that these matters mean a lot to you and I'm going to go ahead and assume that you aren't speaking out of any kind of hate.

I would just offer you a counter-perspective, and maybe by understanding where I'm coming from, you can see that I'm not speaking out of any kind of hate for people, either. I'm half blind. I was born that way. My twin sister and I were taken by emergency cesareans-section when we were incredibly, dangerously premature. My twin was given no chance of survival; the cesarean was just meant to give me a 50% chance of survival. At the time, my mother was recently married to a 19 year-old drug dealer after her own father abused and abandoned her and her mother. She'd been living apart from the faith for years, rejecting God to follow the occult or whatever political party had hear heart at the time. My father hated God.

But when my sister and I were fighting for life for weeks on end, and nobody was sure if we would live or die, and they had to bring us home with heart monitors because our hearts would literally stop beating several times a night, my mom realized how helpless she was to do anything to save us. And she prayed. And we lived. Both of us. Not only that, but my father, at 19 years old, addicted to drugs since the age of 13, narrowly escaped death and gave his life to Christ. After a whole life of having no social skills unless he was high, doing whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted, and caring about nothing but himself, now he is a Pastor (bi-vocationally; he is also a tradesman working with his hands) and has given me and all my family, and many other families, everything we have in our lives through his dedicated and faithful life. He and my mother have been happily married and serving God with their whole lives for almost thirty years now.

And not only them, but me, my twin sister, my younger sister, my little brother, my grandfather (who was an actual killer and drug addict as well) we all know God. We all have a relationship with Him. And that's the biggest most wonderful gift He gave us, out of all those wonderful things He did for us. Saving my life, my dad's life, my twin's life, changing who they were and making them new people.

I'm not telling you all that to like, compare disabilities or traumas or whatever. That would be ridiculous for lots of reasons. But I'm just trying to be honest.

It's not a religion or a system of beliefs that I've subscribed to. It's not a social flag I live under. It's not something I do just because my parents or the people in my immediate community have shown me. It's because He's real, and He showed Himself to me—when it's just me and Him, and nobody else's opinion or say-so matters— and it's all really true—everything the Bible says. And He's so much better, and so much more benevolent, than anyone on earth can describe to you.

And, at the same time, when you understand who He is, and who we are...the question isn't "how could a good God let anyone go to Hell instead of paradise?" The question is, "how could He let any of us live after what we did?" It's hard. But seriously, just play pretend with me for a bit, if only to "understand my perspective." Pretend there was a God, all-powerful, endlessly loving, in fact, Love Itself. The love that was His very nature spilled out so much that He created—created beautiful, amazing, complex creatures who were intrinsically full of worth and light, and made to reflect Him, that Love, back to Him, and share in it. A big happy family.

And then those creatures from the dirt committed cosmic treason and said "screw You, I don't care if You created me and I don't care if You love me or want to be in relationship with me: I want to be You. I want to call the shots." And those creatures from the dirt basically did the cosmic version of climbing in their father's lap to spit in His face, and go stab each other over fleeting pleasures in the gutter because the mansions He was offering them wasn't as good as pretending they could be gods of their own lives.

That's the story. Thats what happened. Read Genesis, if you have the time and if you're of the heart to. And because of what we chose, we got twisted up. I'm sure you read that, in my posts. So even the thing we were made for—love—got mangled up inside us and we can't express it the right way anymore.

He would've been justified in wiping us out. Starting over with new creatures. We were His creation. He gets to decide what we are and what to do with us: we betrayed and insulted and defied our rightful King. But He's not like that. He had no reason to--no obligation to--but He chose to do the work and make a way for us to be back in relationship with Him. And He chose to do it by subjecting Himself to unimaginable torture and darkness, which would have been ours by right if He hadn't taken it for us.

I know that you love your mom. It is plain to see. And I understand the feeling. But if you really get to know the God of the actual Bible, instead of just the memes and the flawed people who try to explain Him—if you really get to know Him, between you and Him, you'll see that He actually loves your mom more than you do. And He loves you more than you, or anyone, does. Because He knows you both better and more intimately than you even know Yourselves. He made you. It'd be like an author getting to dive down into the story and tell their characters everything about themselves.

That's the kind of love we were made for. The kind of love that is there even though you don't deserve it, even though you're not entitled to it—the kind of love that would die for you while you're still hating Him.

I mean just stop and think about it, clear your brain of everything everyone has ever told you about LGBTQ+ and all that. And just think: can you love someone wholeheartedly and still know they're in the wrong? Even when they wholeheartedly believe they're right? Even when they're hurt by you believing they're in the wrong? Of course you can. Anyone who's had a loved one with a self-destructive habit, like alcohol addiction or an abusive lover or just a toxic personality trait or two, can relate to that common sense. They can say, "of course I love you. That's why I'm telling you to stop doing this, it's hurting you, it's not good for you, I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's the truth."

So if you believe that there are some circumstances where that applies, what makes it so unloving for this hypothetical God, who knows the best thing for your friend and knows your friend better than you do, to say so about being LGBTQ+? Why should LGBTQ+ be any different?

Well, the answer, of course, is that you don't believe it is true that it's wrong. Because, if we rewind, you don't believe in God. But you just told me that you came to that conclusion kind of...after feeling hurt by Him. You almost died, first , then your mom chose to leave Him behind and go ahead and live as if He doesn't exist. And you did, too.

But let's go back to playing pretend. If God exists, then He didn't act how you think He should've, as an "benevolent" God: He didn't do YOUR version of "good." So you abandoned Him. (We're pretending like He exists, from your perspective.) He didn't do your version of good, you feel mistreated, so you walked away from Him.

But He would never do that to you. If He's the kind of person the Bible says He is, He doesn't treat you that way. When you (humanity) didn't do His version (which is the only real version, since He invented it) of good, He didn't abandon you. He totally could have. But instead He made a way for your relationship to get fixed. But you have free will. So He's not going to force you to love Him and accept the gift. If you want to continue for all eternity without being with Him, you can. He gives you that option.

But then don't wonder why people who choose that option don't get "eternal paradise." Because according to the Bible, that's all heaven is: getting to be in relationship with God forever. Fully who He made you to be. If you don't want that, He won't force it: in fact, He couldn't. It wouldn't be just, and He is always just.

The truth is, after what we did to Him, none of us deserve anything from Him. I didn't deserve to survive in that ICU. Neither did my sister. Neither did my father or mother or grandfather. None of us should be allowed to inhale another breath; we're the King's people who betrayed Him and tried to steal His throne. But He is so good that instead He turns around and adopts us.

I know this is rambly. But you messaged me so genuinely, I just sort of wrote this as if I were sitting down and talking it all out, one word in front of the other, with you. I don't know you. I know these are very hot button topics, and very personal issues; but like you, I think they're of the utmost importance.

So I will keep considering the LGBTQ+ and transgender issues—but you have to understand that I'm in service to the King, so to speak. I love Him, He loves me, and He's my God. When I consider any part of reality, it's impossible to do so without Him as the center and standard of truth. Without Him, who gets to decide what's right or wrong? Just me. And on my own, I am inconsistent, selfish, ruinous. But I'm not on my own. And in the meantime, I'll ask you to consider God, the real God, of the Bible. Not what a church of whatever denomination tells you—not to start with. Not what I tell you, or anyone tells you. Just what He said about Himself, straight from the Bible. Let Him speak for Himself. Thanks for reaching out.

[yumethefrostypanda]

Hi yume! I have three questions I would like to ask you...

What do you think about these two photos? do you think Simon is really like that under the mask? (in my opinion it might look more like the first photo, but I don't know. Many say it's the second because it looks more like Samuel, but honestly, the haircut of the first is very similar to the scene where he takes off the mask.)

In your opinion, how would Simon behave in a social context? (for example going out alone, taking a bus or any other public transport.) do you think he would still keep the mask on, or would he cover himself with something else?

How would Simon behave with children (you know, in the comic he had a nephew who was very important to him.) What do you think he would do if maybe a small child, in the park with his/her mother, approached him curiously and touched him? or are there kids throwing the ball in his direction by accident? would he kicks the ball back to them?

Thanks in advance, you are the best!🫶🏻❤️

I love your answers and everything you post! (I'll never stop saying this, sorry...🥲)

Hey Sofia :D Thank you for your ask and sweet words 🥺 It's truly nice to hear you like my answers :D Appreciate your support 🫶 First things first ;p the art on the right is from Wombywoo, if i'm not mistaken. Alright, let's do this *cracks knuckles and neck, cause i always spend wayy too much time on answering my asks >.<*

1. You know.. headcanon-ing Simon's face is kinda fun cause his face is hidden :D Everyone can put their own thoughts in the mix. I thiink when MWIII is out, imma do a part 2 on Simon's face. Anyway, I remember that first photo (left) was on reddit, extracted from MWII files somewhere last year. It was already said that the hair was from Graves(?) and put on his head. I also think it's either a placeholder or not finished since they've only used his 3D head for mask placement and the scene where he takes of the mask and we (only) see his fluffy short hair. It really wouldn't be a surprise if Simon's (face) features are alot of that from his VA, Samuel Roukin. I've seen every frame multiple times by now *edit life* and to me, it really looks like Simon has Roukin's eye shape and nose(for the most part). I loove the fact the devs stayed true to Simon's brown eyes *-* So what else did they stay true to? Or is it completely Roukin's face? We might never know :P But personally for me it's still 50/50. Half Roukin's face/ half comic Simon's face. Ok ok, maybe now more like 70/30. idc, just show me. No, don't! Yes!

2. Ooff, good question. I wonder if he uses public transport since he also can drive. (i'd rather take the car thn the bus ngl :P). At the end of the campaign with 141 and Laswell sitting in a bar, Simon still has his eye paint and mask on. Though be it another mask thn that he was wearing during the Chicago mission. So that makes me believe he conceals his face in his free time (outside), i'm not exactly sure how tho cause wearing a skull mask like that in public might alarm ppl? idk. I kinda lean more to the idea he isn't that among people much (being outside). If he already prefers to work alone than in a team (141 is a no brainer for him tho, imo) i don't really see him being out and about and social in his off time Q_Q And with all this online ordering, he gucci. But okok, i do see him do groceries and stuff. You know, basic stuff. He will have alot of hooded clothes, caps and what not. Corona must've been a 'delight' for him. (ok ill stop. sorry) I think he barely makes eyecontact, or just shortly cause he's friendly. He a good lad. Srsly don't waste your time on this next hc; You know.. what if he just lives in a very small village somewhere quiet in England where everyone knows eachother and he don't have to worry about all that outside shii cause everyone in that small village knows how he is. Easy peasy, live and let live. Often people in small villages are old cause many young move to the city. So them golden oldies in his town are just happy they have a soldier in their midst and respect his privacy. Buut.. thn again, the bigger the city.. the easier it is to blend. Oh well. Whatever XD 3. I THINK HE'S REALLY GOOD WITH KIDS! But doesn't show, is scared to show, etc etc all that. I even think if a kid is being bullied in his presence he would intervine. I'm sure of it. But i think he would avoid being around kids. If one's come up to him i think he will be friendly but not interested in a conversation or play ball. I'll let myself out

[saturnaftertaste]

going to be mean and blunt about the robins rq

dick: the First one. you can dress it up as whatever as him being a minority him being a marysue wunderkind him having eldest daughter syndrome whatever whatever idc his value is inherent in being the first one. he’s my favorite but he’s the first and that’s what he brings to the table. literally every part of his character is just the idea of the The First One amplified. they could write him out of the dc story they could ! but it’s not his flexibility as a person/character that keeps him relevant it’s because he sets the tone always. everyone else gets to be different because he set the standard first and it’s BECAUSE he came first that he’s written like this.

jason: the Dead one. stephanie’s dead too, you say. god i wish DC would acknowledge that, i reply. death arcs are sexy and cool and put everyone else in the wrong because dying and coming back makes you the ultimate object of pity. unfortunately dc found jason so boring that somehow even with a death arc as his only personality trait his run was so boring without other characters they had to shut him down at 50 issues

tim: the Boring one. this post was actually motivated by seeing a post that tried to make tim interesting and i would just like to say: stop. there is nothing fundamentally unique or likable about him. name one thing tim has going for him i’m begging you…smarts? dick is smarter*. skills? damian’s been training since birth**. strength? jason is 6 2”. humor? stephanie literally slapped batman. initiative? duke started a robin collective WITHOUT walking up to a dude and saying “hey remember when ur parents died ! sucked for me tbh” PLEASE. “oh but he’s the relatable one :(((!” i hate to break it to you but if you relate to tim you’re probably just as boring and no one’s told you yet. consider this your wakeup call. now try to imagine a world without him. you can’t because DC won’t stop putting him in things. it’s killing me

stephanie: the Girl one. white and blonde and the target of every horrific Women As A Cautionary Tale storyline in the batman universe ever. because she already has MAJOR diversity points for being female in the robin costume, the writers and the fandom decided to ransack her character for things to beef up tim’s disgustingly sparse resume with. this has left behind a Girl Best Friend Doll in purple with a drawstring in her back to let her say unfunny one-liners and the words “We Can Do It!” © Rosie the Riveter

Damian: the Exotic one. god forbid we have one story that does not involve his Evil Heritage and Evil Family. where are he talia and ras from again? the Mystical Orient, did you say? come again? oh, you mean the [unspecified landmass] of the Savages who Must Be Converted To The American Values of Apple Pie and Bravery? everything about damian has to tie back to his exoticism, his temperament his weaponry his fucking dialogue (and like the vernacular (separate story) that he’s given that conflates east + antiquation -> to imply backwardness) of it establishes him as the Other and makes it the conflict all the time. you don’t see tim’s white people manners learned from his mother being an issue to overcome do you

Duke: the New one. technically not even robin to begin with, thank GOD because while it would be sweet to see a younger duke maybe have been a robin it would have come at the expense of his family, AND ON THAT NOTE in fanon it constantly does??? the guy is Batfamily but he has his own cast (and that’s how you create a HeroProtagonist in the dcverse) and he was established as an outside individual a la Kate or Dick (90s). try and respect that

there’s no point to this btw. but i said what i said

*babs is not mentioned because she’s not a robin

**cass, again, not mentioned because she’s not a robin

[belongtodeukae]

prompt: “Don’t make me stop this car, because I promise you, you’ll regret it.”

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[1:50 am] “pay attention to me”, you whined from the passenger seat, drawing out every syllable to make your plead go on and on, your tipsy state blocking any manners that wanted to show. your girlfriend was right next to you, gripping the steering wheel, her eyes fixed on the road.

“i’m driving, as you can see”, handong said, her voice a bit too calm. of course, her passive-aggressiveness showed even further when she continued, her jaw tight as ever, “why didn’t you let bora take you home instead? you seemed to love her attention”.

“yeah, i did, because you weren’t giving me any of yours”, you shot back, starting to feel annoyed by her words.

“am i not allowed to dance with our other friends?”, “am i not allowed to dance with bora?”

“not when her hands are all over you and you’re riling her up!” handong’s voice echoed inside of the car when she raised it, startling you a bit. however, you couldn’t hold back a smirk at her jealousy. she had a point, you did get a bit too handsy with bora back at the club, but that was all because handong was busy dancing with gahyeon and siyeon when you wanted her up against you.

“maybe i just wanted to rile you up”, you lifted your hands from your lap, bringing one up to handong and trailing her bare arm with your fingers, simply ghosting over the skin. you pulled it back after few short moments, opting for the bratty exit to the situation, “or maybe i was curious if she would be willing to fuck me better than you”.

your smirk got even wider when handong’s loud intake of a breath showed her anger, “you think she could fuck you better?” she left the road unattended for a moment to look at you for the first time since you got in the car. she looked so attractive that it was unholy, her features sharpened by the anger and flickered by the light coming from the street posts repeatedly as she speeded through them, “answer me”.

you stayed quiet for a few more seconds, and then started humming as if you were weighing the options for the answer.

“don’t make me stop this car, because i promise you, you’ll regret it”, she practically growled, the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel dropping down to your thighs that were barely covered by your dress. her nails sank in, dragging a sharp but slow line upwards. you hissed in sweet pain, wanting those fingers closer to make up for the lack of attention throughout the night, heat shooting through your center almost immediately.

“she probably could”

handong huffed, as her hand was pulled from you, “you find too much fun in provoking, don’t you?” you stayed quiet, but handong didn’t need an answer either way, “i find my fun in taming sluts”.

not even a single minute passed by before the car came to a stop, and your seatbelt was sent flying back to its original place with a click. even though you were aware of handong’s strength, a gasp still left your mouth when she pulled you up onto her lap in one swift movement. you instinctively wrapped your arms around her neck and leaned in to kiss her when she chuckled in your face, moving your head back by pushing on your jaw with her fingers. the look in her eyes made you feel an embarrassing amount of wetness coming in between your thighs, an area that was now easily available to her, both to feel and touch.

“as if you deserve to kiss me”, she huffed, all traces of her smile gone once she dipped her fingers down to where your dress was bunched up, undoubtedly feeling the heat. all it took was one gentle swipe of the tip of her finger against your panties for her eyebrow to lift up in curiosity and you to shudder, “dripping wet? is this bora’s work?”

you knew handong wasn’t serious with her question. she’s always aware of the effect she has on you, especially when you manage to draw out some anger from her. that, however, didn’t stop you from teasing further when you leaned to whisper in her ear, “it’s her fault for feeling so good against me”.

before you even managed to fully process it, handong’s fingers moved your panties aside with astonishing speed and she entered you with not two, but three fingers. you let out a loud whine from the sudden intrusion, hips jerking upwards so you could get used to the sudden stretch, but handong didn’t allow it, “isn’t this what you wanted from her, you brat?” she used her other hand to push on your thigh, forcing you down on her fingers until they were buried inside, your wetness dripping down her knuckles. she didn’t bother letting you adjust, instead setting a fast pace and drawing out more loud and desperate cries from you that echoed through the small space of her car.

you tried to speak, but barely managed to connect two coherent thoughts in your brain, let alone voice them without producing gibberish. all you could feel was electrifying pleasure that came with every thrust of her fingers inside of you, barely keeping your eyes open but still registering her burning gaze on you, “could she fuck you this good?”

you started to bounce back on her fingers without giving it a thought, your body reacting to handong instinctively and providing an answer to her question. you enjoyed her stretching you out and the slight pain that came with it a bit too much, muscles in your stomach tightening already as you rushed to your orgasm.

“keep your eyes on me, i want to see your face when you come”, she bit her lip before leaning in and dipping her tongue inside of your open mouth for a slight taste, pulling back once she swiped it against your own, “you belong to me, understand? only me”.

“only you”, you managed to let out in a groan once you felt the start of your orgasm clouding your vision, only seeing white and letting out sounds and words you couldn’t make out in the peak of pure pleasure.

you had no idea how long it took for you to come down from your high, but handong’s fingers were steady inside of you, her face lit up by her smile. she reached up to detach baby hairs that stuck to your sweaty forehead and leaned in to kiss you deeply, still smiling and humming against you, “i bet bora couldn’t get a screaming ‘i love you’ while making you come”.

[someobliviousgirl]

A tragic love story

Hey, this is the first fic that I post on tumblr. English isn't my first language, sorry in advance for the mistakes.

Wanda x fem!reader (reader has wings)

Wanda has been sick for the past three weeks but maybe your abilities could explain why...

(Recently corrected)

WARNINGS : blood and violence, major character death, sad fic, some fluff, pregnancy, gun, heavy angst, don't let the summary fool you.

Wanda and you have been a couple for two years now, you met when you first joined the Avengers six months before the incident in Lagos. You were one of the only people to try and comfort Wanda after the incident and you grew closer because of it.

You were able to join the Avengers thanks to your powers, you had wings, could fly, and had a vision overdeveloped. In fact, you had all those abilities because you were from another planet where everyone is like you. But after a civil war half of your home planet found refuge on other planets including earth, you left with your parents at the age of 10 and grew up on earth. After years of hiding who you really were, S.H.I.E.L.D found out about your abilities and asked you to join the Avenger initiative.

From then on you’ve been helping them with worldwide threats and made a new chosen family with the team. After Lagos, tensions started to rise between everyone but you choose to focus on Wanda who arrived on the team just a few months after you. Since then you’ve developed romantic feelings for the witch and she did too, you officialized a few months after the sokovian accords were signed much to the surprise of the remaining avengers on the team.

Two years later the sokovian accords have been ripped and all of the team returned. You were happy to meet again your best friend the Black Widow and to finally stop hiding from the word with Wanda.

But all of this couldn’t have prepared you for what would happen to you two after that.

 ***

Wanda was sick for the past three weeks which made you worry about her, “Babe, maybe you should go see Dr. Cho. It’s been three weeks and you’re still not getting better” you said to Wanda while she was vomiting over the toilets “It’s probably nothing y/n don’t worry about it” she responded while walking toward the sink. Not letting her go so easily you grab her by the shoulders when she finishes washing her mouth and turn her toward you.

“You have to go check with a doctor my love, vomiting for three weeks straight is not normal. Please at least promise me you’ll see Dr. Cho today” you asked her softly.

“Okay, fine I’ll go now and she will confirm what I’ve been telling you for weeks, it’s just a bad stomach bug” she complied and you kissed her on the lips happy that she agreed. “Thank you, my stubborn girlfriend.” she pushes your arm playfully and you both leave to find the doctor in her office in the compound.

***

“What?” Was your first reaction to the news Dr. Cho gave you, as for Wanda she remained speechless.

“According to the blood tests that I ran on Mrs. Maximoff” she turns towards Wanda, “You are pregnant”

“No, it’s impossible, I’ve only been with y/n! Baby, I swear I didn’t cheat on you” Wanda looked at you with worried eyes but before you could respond the doctor interrupted “Indeed, if it reassures the both of you, the DNA of the baby is in fact 50% Mrs. Maximoff and 50% miss y/l/n” You were indeed reassured even if you knew that Wanda would never do that to you, some insecurities never die…

“How… how is this possible?” you asked. “Well it seems that your powers are far more extended than we thought, we don’t really know how but it is the only reasonable explanation, you impregnated Wanda thanks to your magic.”

“How far am I?” Your girlfriend asked Cho “You are a little over three weeks into your pregnancy. I will let you two discuss, if you have any questions I will be in my office” she leaves you two alone while Wanda silently tears up.

 You take her in your arms murmuring softly in her ear “It’s okay my love, I’ll always be here, whatever you decide” you kiss her on the forehead.

After a few minutes Wanda calmed down and said “I...I want to keep it, are you okay with that?” “Of course I’m okay with that babe… We are going to be parents” you replied just realizing how both of your lives would change. Wanda kisses you on the lips “Yes, we are.”

***

You announced the news to all the compound the same day, all but Natasha your best friend, to whom you talked just an hour after knowing you were going to be a mom. You were so excited to meet your and Wanda’s child.

After three months you both discovered that you were expecting twins. This was another shock but knew that your chosen family would always be there to help if you needed it, especially Natasha who you chose to be the godmother.

***

Wanda was now in her last trimester, you two were heading to the mall to get the last furniture for the twins’ room. You were holding hands while walking, you didn’t take the car because the mall was 5 minutes away from the compound. “What color of paint should we choose for the children's room?” You just brought a house for the four of you but didn’t move in yet. “I don’t know maybe light yellow” you said “'Light yellow'?? No y/n, that is a terrible idea” Wanda said while laughing slightly. “Why? Don’t you like yellow as a color?” “Well yes but not on walls baby, could you imagine the lighting in that room?” she replied still laughing “Okay okay, no yellow, what about-” but just before you could finish your sentence you heard someone shouting your girlfriend’s last name.

You both turned around and found a man in his 40s looking slightly nervous. “Hi, can I help you?” Wanda said, on her guards, while you stepped a little in front of her by instinct. “Actually yes, do you remember your little incident in Lagos?” before she could respond he continued “Well my son was in the building that YOU blew up! The least I could do would be to repay the favor...” before you could do a thing the man got a gun out of his jean jacket. In your desperation to keep your love safe, you pulled out your wings and enveloped her with them, turning your back on the man.

You heard two loud bangs, at first nothing happened but then you felt all your body on fire. “No.” Wanda said, not fully understanding what happened in her shocked state. It’s when she saw the blood leaking from your mouth that she realized the gravity of the situation. She lost control of her powers and blew the man out with a shock wave and shouted your name.

Your legs started to give out under you and Wanda accompanied you to the floor as gently as she could with the weight of your wings in addition to your body. “No, no, no…” She repeated while applying pressure on your wounds and crying. “Green.” you said in a murmur, too weak to say anything else, “What?”, “Gr- green for the...the room” you repeated, your eyes closing slowly. “No, no, keep your eyes open for me baby, please.” Wanda said while shaking you, you reopened your eyes with difficulty. “That’s it babe… a green room? Yes of course love, but you have to stay to see it okay? Nat is on her way.” you nodded your head knowing that she pressed her emergency button as soon as she saw your bloody mouth.

Wanda hears the quinjet in the distance and reassures you “Do you hear it baby? The team is coming, just hold on please” She was fully crying now, not sure the team would land in time “You have to meet our twins y/n okay, just hold one more minute” she was begging you but your eyes were starting to unfocus you put a last effort and said, “I- I love you Wanda, tell the twins th- that I love them too…”

While Wanda heard Nat’s boots on the floor she was focusing on your empty eyes looking through her. When Natasha arrived near Wanda the first thing she heard was a heart-wrenching scream. She rapidly understood the situation when she saw your bloody wings laying on the floor and a man knocked out against a wall probably dead too with a gun near him.

In a brief instant all of your lives changed and she didn’t know if Wanda would ever get through this trauma.

Thanks for reading!

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 51

Looks like I'm back on track, I'm very happy with this chapter.

Series Masterlist

Part 50

Contains: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, drug driving, injury to a child, follow the plot of 5x07-5x08 loosely

7.7K words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.

Gemma loses the last bit of good will.

Gemma didn't know why she was in that hotel room or why she decided to spend the night with a man she didn't know, what she did know was that having her car stolen after getting black out drunk was going to mean that she would be back to not being alone to spend time with Abel again.

She wondered what Nero would say, things were going well with him but they had never had a conversation about getting serious, but she called him anyway, hoping he would understand, hoping he wouldn't tell Jax what had just happened.

****

"What is it?"

Jax was making a ruckus throwing on his clothes, "That was Nero, Gemma's had her car stolen, at a no tell motel."

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, "I guess she's not better, was she with someone?"

Jax shrugged, "no idea, I'm about to find out."

You climbed out of bed, "I'll head into the lab early, maybe get a post or two done and then I'll come home and pack. Go easy on her Jax, she's going through a lot."

Jax huffed, "she has been given chance after chance to pull her shit together, this has to stop before she gets someone hurt."

You nodded, "see how she is when you get there, is she's sober she can have Abel while we leave, if not, Wendy can take him and she doesn't get another chance until all this shit with Clay is over and done with."

Jax sighed then walked up to where you were sitting on the end of the bed and leaned down to kiss you, "alright, but if she's still drunk she's done."

You nodded, "that's fair. I Love you Jax, please be safe."

"Love you too darlin."

****

Gemma's heart dropped when she heard the bikes, she could see the look on Jax's face as they walked up to her with Nero in tow, Bobby and Tig went off to talk to the manager while the other went to speak to Gemma. When they got within speaking distance, Gemma leaned in close to Nero to talk to him, "if I wanted them to come I would have called them."

Jax did his best to stay calm, "what the hell happened?"

"I cashed here last night and someone stole my Caddy."

Jax wasn't buying it, "someone?" He went looking around the hotel room and returned with a bottle of white liquid "since when do you drink banana vodka?"

Nero was kinda as they stood around her waiting for the truth, "what happened?"

"I woke up to take a piss and he stole my wallet and my SVU. I don't remember his name."

Jax tried to suppress his disgust, "Jesus Christ, who are you."

She walked away upset, Nero going to comfort her, "this is why I called you, because I don't need that shit."

Jax took a deep breath and walked up to Nero, "I'm sorry you got pulled into this, she's a Goddamn train wreck."

"She still your mother ese, respect that. You know, she's caught between a husband she hates and a kid she thinks hate her. Women like your mum, Jax, they don't do so good without family. Hmm, go easy." Nero left to take a call and Tig and Bobby came back with nothing, but when Nero hung up he had a determined look on his face.

"My guys found the Escalade, and the dude is still there." With one last glance at his mother, Jax left.

****

"Y/n said I'm not allowed to let you go back to work."

Ima's hands were on her hips, there was no way Sam was going to win this, "come on baby, you know I'll be alright."

Ima rolled her eyes, "no, we need to start planning the nursery anyway."

Sam smiled, "alright beautiful but only because I know you're more loyal to my sister than me and you'd call her if I went to work."

Ima smiled, "damn right I would."

****

"Ahhhh, y/n, Clay Morrow is at the door for you, do you want me to let him in?"

You rubbed your face, "yeah, walk him in please, and don't go anywhere, he won't be here for long." Travis escorted Clay in and sat down watching him while he tried to speak to you.

"What do you want?"

He shrugged, "Juice is here with your intern, I thought I'd tell you what you needed to hear rather than sit in the van."

You shook your head, "why do you still have to O2? You're breathing fine."

He huffed, "doc says I still need it for a little while. Does he need to be here?"

You waved your hand, "yes, now hurry up and say what you need to say so I can get on with my life."

"I know you're not going to take this well but I also know you can listen to reason. Jax can't run this Club, in the last few months your brother has been shot and Charming is at risk, you need to tell him to step down." You kept your face neutral despite the urge to shoot him in the head.

"You really think I have that much pull over him? And let's be honest Mr Morrow, we both know that this isn't on Jax. He's done more for the Club and for Charming since he's taken over than you had in twenty years. Now kindy fuck off, before you put your foot in it and I start looking at your motivations a bit closer."

You turned to Travis, "get rid of him, please."

Travis stood up to his full height, "with pleasure, you want me to bar him from now on?"

You shook your head, "don't make it any harder on Juice, he can sit outside and wait for me to come out if he wants to talk from now on." Clay walked out and Travis looked at you through his peripheral vision, smiling as you shook the recorder by your side, Clay was getting worried and it was showing.

****

Jax felt a strange anger when he found out what Gemma's one night stand did for a living, you would probably tell him that he was a sociopath who didn't care and felt nothing for the women he hurt but your calming voice in his head did little to quell the building rage as he got on his bike the chase after the man.

As the bikes gained on the torn apart car, Jax thought about what he was going to do to the man when he caught him, he didn't have to think for too long because he was jumping out of the car and shooting at them before running away into a patch of bush by the side of the road. Jax was on his in seconds, throwing his fists into the man's face while Chibs tried to pull him away.

"I'm good, let me crack this piece of shit."

Nero stood next to Chibs to block the man from Jax's view, "you want to be on the five o'clock news. Take what's yours. Let's get out of here."

Jax did his best to reign in his rage as he stalked up to the man, "I should kill you for what you did to my mother."

He got a bit of sick satisfaction at the fear in the man's eyes, "that makes sense. But you're not going to do that right?"

"Not today. Check his pockets." Chibs went through them and handed the money to Jax, the man's protest going unheard. He walked off in a huffed, Nero threatening him one last time before they mounted their bikes and drove off.

****

"Jax's has got to go, I don't care how you do it but get rid of him. He's leaving tonight to spend some time at the cabin with his bitch, do it then."

Gogo swallowed, "you want us to take him out?"

Clay shook his head, "nah, hire someone from the outside, make it look like a beef. I have another job for you three."

Clay sounded so angry, "what?" Franky didn't know where this was going, only that Clay was going off the rails.

"I need to to scare my old lady, she drives home the same way every night, she needs to know that pimp can't look after her like I can."

Greg's eyes went wide, "so what, you want us to run her off the road?"

Clay shook his head, "I didn't say that, just give her a reason to think that Jax can't keep Charming safe."

"Fine, but this better get you back at the head of the table, we can't just off Jax and get away with it without you running things, especially is y/n gets in the Club's ear."

Clay felt his blood pressure rise, "don't worry, once the little prince is dead, you can get rid if her too."

****

"Hello my love, to what do owe I your call?"

Jax chuckled, "my mum was sober when we got there, we got her car back too. I think she should be alright to take Abel."

You rubbed your face, "ok, I have a few more things to do here then I'll be done."

Jax sounded tired, "I'm going to have Tig go up with you, make sure you're safe."

You sighed, "alright, I can look after myself but I know it will ease your worry so I'll agree. I'll air the place out and make dinner, how long before you get there?"

"About two hours after you, thank you for being so patient."

You smiled, "I love you Jackson."

You could hear the smirk in his voice, "I love you too darlin."

****

Jax watched Gemma head into the office after talking to Nero, he took a deep breath and followed her, sitting down on the couch and readying himself for the oncoming conversation. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

Jax waved his hand, "It's ok. You and y/n, she's really trying mum."

Gemma nodded, "I know. I know she is, if I was her I wouldn't let me anywhere near Abel." Jax was a little shocked at her self awareness.

"What's going on with you mum?"

Gemma's face fell, "when my Thomas died, I did the worse thing a mother could do, I made you make up for the love he couldn't give me anymore. I'm sorry Jackson, I'm sorry that I've always been too much."

Jax ran his hands over his hair, "when he died, I felt so bad."

Gemma did her best to comfort him, "I know baby."

Jax shook his head, "it wasn't because he was dead, it was because I'd have you all to myself. I knew how wrong that was"

When Jax, filled with shame at his jealousy of your relationship with Sam brought this up to you, you hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault that he felt like Gemma didn't have love enough for both of them. At first, he was offended that you had suggested something so horrible but the more he thought about it, the more he realised that growing up, he felt like his mother didn't have space in her heart for everyone.

"I love you mum, and we're going to get through all of this, I promise." Jax stood up and pulled his mother into his arms for a hug, Jax didn't know what to do, all he knew was that things needed to change.

****

"You all packed?"

You nodded, "I just got to get the cool stuff in the cooler, you're staying for dinner at the cabin right?"

Tig smiled, "you want me there?"

You nodded again, "I do, I realise that you and I have serious fundamental issues but we can't let them stew. I have yet to make up my mind about you, which has never happened before, so I'm trying to like you, not only for Jax and the Club but so there's no bad blood between us."

"I don't know what to say."

You took a deep breath, "don't say anything, just deal with your personality problems that got us to this place originally."

Tig knew what you were talking about, you thought he was a coward and in many ways, you were right, "I'm trying."

You smiled, "I know, that's why we're having this conversation."

You looked around, "alright, I'm ready to go."

You handed Tig the cooler, "right on time, I'll text Jax before we leave." You nodded, "how did today go?"

Tig shrugged, "we got Gemma's car back and Clay didn't make a scene, I think we got off easy."

You sigh, "yeah, has Clay stirred the pot about these home invasions? I know he's been sowing the seeds of doubt."

"Yeah, he has. Why do you ask?"

You thought for a moment before giving an honest answer, "because he's the only one who has anything to gain from them. Not only does it make Jax look weak and unable to lead but it makes Charming look unsafe without him at the head of the table."

Tig went pale, "he's behind this?"

He huffed, "shit, who's doing the dirty work?"

You titled your head, "who's been absent every time something goes wrong?"

"The nomads, do you have proof?"

You nodded, "bootprints, fingerprints and a bug in his house. Would you like to hear him admit everything?"

Tig blinked, "who else knows?"

You smiled sadly at his tone, "Jax, Sam, Opie, Bobby and Happy, Clay sent the Nomads to Happy's house to go after his mum and aunt."

Tig swallowed, "Sam?"

You nodded, "Greg pulled the trigger."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

Your smile turned a little nasty, "because I needed to know if you were involved before I was alone with you, far away from help. Don't worry, you passed."

He snorted, "gee thanks. Let me guess, you want me to act like I know nothing?"

You nodded, "unless you want to run a foul of the CIA."

"I hear you."

****

Gemma knew she shouldn't be smoking before she took Abel home, but after her conversation with Jax she couldn't calm down. Stopping by Unser's and talking to him had helped a lot but the last few days had made everything so much worse, between getting her car stolen and Clay trying to worm his way back into her life, she felt lost. Nevertheless, she stamped out her joint and headed T-M to bring Abel back home with her, grateful she had been given more time with him even after last night.

When Gemma got to T-M, Abel jumped into her arms and hugged her, "grandma, I missed you."

Gemma pressed a kiss to his little cheek, "I miss you too, are you ready to go?" Abel nodded, and Gemme buckled him in, driving off with the radio blaring. Had she been sober, she might has picked up on the dark van following her.

As she drove down the road, she grew tired, the loud music barely keeping her awake. It was the sound of a horn blaring that shook her eyes open, the van came up fast and almost bumped the back of the car, the wheels screeching as her car shifted. She managed to right the car before the next wave came, and then another, then the van pulled away. Just as she thought it was over, the van was back and this time, she didn't have to reflexes to correct the swerve.

The tree came fast and hard, then there was nothing.

****

"You might as well come inside and help me sort this place out."

Tig didn't look impressed, "Tragger, I'm not a child, no one's going to come up on us without me hearing it, and let's be honest, I'll be protecting you."

Tig shook his head with a smile, "you're kind of mean."

You huffed, "am I lying?"

He rolled his eyes, "no, but it makes me feel inadequate."

You handed Tig and knife and slid him the cutting board, "good for you, please chop the carrots."

He did as you asked, "what are you making?"

You washed your hands and turned on the oven, "baked skin on chicken breast with veggies."

Tig licked his lips, "yum, I'm glad I said yes to your invite."

Before you could say more, your mobile rang. It was a fast conversation, "we need to leave right now. Jax and the guys have just been attacked on their way here." You and Tig raced out of the cabin, when he got to his bike, you practically pulled him away, "is that thing bullet proof?" He didn't answer as he climbed into the passenger seat and you drove off.

It didn't take long for you to get to the scene. Jax and Chibs were by the road, their bikes nowhere to be seen. You ran up to them and grabbed Jax's face in your hands, "what the hell happened?"

Jax looked so angry, "are either of you hurt? Let me check you." You ran your hands over Jax then Chibs, then Jax was putting and hand on your upper back and leading you into the bushes.

"A van came out of nowhere and someone started shooting, we managed to down this guy before the van drove off."

Tig turned to you and you gave him a knowing look, "he's black?"

You nodded, "yeah, my guess is someone's getting worried we're on to them and wants to throw us off."

Chibs blinked, "why am I getting the feeling that I've been left out of the loop."

You took a deep breath, "load the body into the truck, Jax can explain to you what I just told Tig."

Jax glanced at you, "I've called the others, Bobby's on his way."

You shook your head, "we have a problem, the shells on the road are for cop killers, they were planning on killing both of you." It didn't take long for the four of you to return to the cabin, Jax downloading Chibs from the front seat while Chibs and Tig sat in the back.

When they got the body inside, you all stood around the corpse, "check his tats."

They pulled up his sleeves, "a few prisons tats, Black Nation."

You nodded, "we need to get an ID." Before you could go outside to get the fingerprint scanner, Jax was producing a fire axe. With two violent swings, the stranger's hands were off his body.

"What are you doing Jackson?"

He puffed on his cigarette, "take one to Pope, have him ID the prints. I want affiliations, who he works for, everything."

You threw your hands up in the air, "I'm going to get an ID now so we don't have to send hands to anyone."

You left to get the kit and your laptop from the car while the others waited, "who's the other one for?"

Jax glared at the body, "Unser. Same request" You returned and knelt by the body.

"Why Unser?"

Boddy huffed, "because if he's working with Clay he'll lie about it."

You shook your head and pressed a dismember hand to the screen, "Charles Turner, pretty standard rap sheet, more time inside than out."

Before you could say more, Hale's ringtone pulled you away, "I'm sorry, I need to take this." You could tell something was wrong by the way Hale sounded, his voice was shaking and there were sirens screaming in the background. It was like your brain was stuck in mud, car crash, Abel badly hurt.

You came racing out, the body on the floor still there but out of your mind, "we have to go."

Jax knew something was wrong, he had never heard that tone in your voice, "what happened?"

You were already at the door, "it's my baby."

****

Jax wanted to throw up, after getting authorisation from Hale to travel under lights and sirens you slammed on the gas and drove like a mad woman, all Jax could do was hold on while you worked the old mustang like a high performance race car. "Did he say anything else?"

You shook your head as you ran the red light, "there was no paint on the back of the car and Gemma said someone was trying to hit her. I have a very bad feeling Jax."

"What?"

You took a deep breath, you were close to St Thomas but it felt like a million miles away, "Clay wouldn't put her at risk and he wouldn't risk breaking her heart by killing Abel, if he's ordered this, he would have told them not to hurt her."

Jax was catching up slowly, "so the only reason she would have crashed is because she wasn't sober."

Your eyes never left the road, "we're about to find out."

Sam and Ima were already at the hospital when you go there, Sam putting a hand on your face to slow your racing mind, Ima had clearly been crying, "I've already signed to consent papers, the surgeons are looking after him now. You can go through and be there if you want."

You rubbed your face, "go, it's alright." Seconds later, a nurse was coming to take to you and Jax back to the cardiac OR.

Abel was already out when you got there, Jax watching from behind the glass while he shifted from foot to foot, "Jesus, how long does this take?"

You took a deep breath, "they run the wire from his femoral artery up to his heart, thirty minutes at most if this is the fix."

Jax's eyes went wide, "and if it isn't?"

You shook your head, "we'll know soon." You looked at the monitor, "it looks like it's working, it's going to be ok my love."

"Like this kid hasn't been through enough shit."

Jax wouldn't stop moving, "this is on Gemma, if she was drunk or high I swear to God Jax."

Jax turned to you, his expression becoming angry, "I know, I know."

You grabbed Jax's hand as they went to deliver the shock and Jax felt you relax, "it worked, he's fine." Jax pulled you into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of your head, "we should go check on Gemma, they need to stitch him up, we don't need to see that."

On the way to the room, you stopped by a nurses cart and looked around, Jax slowing to watch you as you swiped a syringe, "what are you doing?"

You huffed, "testing a theory."

Clay was waiting when you got to the room, "fuck off."

He didn't move, "if you don't get the fuck out of this room right now you'll be happy you're in a hospital." The noise was waking Gemma, so you stepped closer to Clay, "I don't want to traumatise her anymore, get out." Maybe it was the expression on your face or the way Jax was standing behind you but Clay got up and left with a glare.

When Clay was out of view, you screwed the syringe into her IV and drew some blood before capping it and dropping it into your pocket. Gemma woke up soon after, looking around with worry. "Abel?"

You swallowed, "is in the peds ward. He had an irregular heartbeat due to the crash and needed a Cardiac Catheterisation, he's fine now."

That didn't ease her worry, "he was bleeding." you were trying to be gentle but Jax wasn't having it.

"What happened, were you drunk?"

Gemma looked at you and you crossed your arms over your chest, "there was no paint on the car Gem and you're a good driver, being run off the road in a car your size isn't that easy."

She shook her head, "no, I almost got away but a truck came out of nowhere just after the van pulled off, I was too busy pulling away from the van to see it."

"Jesus Christ, did you get a look at them?"

She blinked, "the van was dark brown, that's all I could see."

You pulled Gemma into a hug, all your worries forgotten, "I'm so glad you were the one driving, all Abel had was a cut on his head, that's where the blood came from, he's ok."

You saw her relax, "when can I see him?"

You smiled softly, "he's still asleep but you can see him when he wakes up." She smiled, "thank you."

"I'm just happy you're both ok." Before you could say more, Unser arrived.

Jax left to talk to him while you headed to Abel's room. In the hallway, you met up with Holt, who had come for moral support, "how's your boy?"

You shrugged, "he's fine. I need a favour."

Holt nodded, "anything."

You reached into your pocket, "test this blood for me, I need to know if there's anything in it."

Holt's eyes went wide, "you think Abel's grandmother was under the influence?"

"I don't know, but I want to find out."

****

Sam and Ima had wandered into Abel's room before you, "you guys doing alright?"

Ima wiped her face, "these guys have to go."

You had never heard her so angry, "I know, we're working on it, you didn't answer my question."

Sam sighed, "we're alright, the baby too, it's just been a long few weeks."

"You should go home and rest, the last thing we need is you back here because of an infection."

Sam shook his head, "I'll stay until Abel wakes up." You didn't argue, instead you pulled up a chair and waited for Jax to return.

Bobby walked in soon after, "Jax went to see Pope, Unser came through, we can trust him."

You sighed, "we better settle in, it's going to be a long day."

Just as you were getting comfortable, Wendy arrived, "what happened?"

You shrugged, "looks like road rage, Hale thinks it was random."

You readied yourself for a fight, "but Abel and Gemma are ok?"

You nodded, "fine, if you think you can…."

She cut you off, "I'm not going to use this against you, you've let me into Abel's life, the last thing I want to do is hurt that by pulling something at a time like this."

You were taken aback, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to that."

She waved her hand, "it's understandable, I came back into Abel's life when things were rough for you. I just want to be here with him."

You swallowed, "stay for as long as you like, I'm not sure when he's going to wake up."

She nodded, "where's Jax?"

You looked at Sam, "Club business, Gemma managed to get a look at the van, he's gone looking for it."

She huffed, "let's hope he gets to him before Hale does."

****

"The hand belonged to Charles Truner, Tyler's LaRoy's number two, he has the info on all his known associates. How's your boy?"

Jax shrugged, "alive."

Pope smiled, "and your old lady."

Jax huffed, "out for blood, she's not going to rest until these people are dead."

Pope nodded, "if someone went after my daughter, I want the same thing. The CIA are very nervous Jackson, they want to know if I'm still on board even with your… internal issues."

"Are you?"

Jax chose to ignore that Pope was aware of the Nomads, "of course, they assured me that their asset was dealing with the matter, I'm guessing that's still your future wife?"

Jax nodded, "yeah, I'm not happy she's had to jump back in, neither is she but the work's got to be done"

Pope chuckled and the tone changed, "August will help you if you need men, we don't want people who go after small children and elderly women in out ranks Jackson, you have free reign to deal with this how you see fit."

Jax heard the message loud and clear, get rid of them.

****

"I told you to scare her, not run her off the road. How did you not know Abel was in the back?"

Greg rubbed his aching face, "she was already all over the place when we pulled up on her, it's not our fault she was on something."

Clay shook his head, "that bitch isn't going to think that, she's going to boil us all alive if she finds out were the ones behind the attack."

Gogo huffed, "I don't know Clay, she seems harmless to me."

Clay's face turned cruel, "that's what everyone thinks. She's a fucking viper, if you piss her off, you'll be dead before you know what hit you."

Franky wasn't worried, "you said it yourself Clay, once Jax is gone, she's next."

****

Nero walked into Gemma's room, Chucky leaving with a smile. When they were alone, she started to cry, "hey, it's gonna be alright."

She shook her head, "I was stoned driving Abel. I lied about a truck, I couldn't swing the car around fast enough. I thought I'd be alright, I drive high all the time. I just didn't want to miss my chance with them."

"It's going to be ok baby, it's ok."

Gemma knew he was lying, "no, it's not. y/n isn't going to care, if I had been sober, I would have gotten away from the van, she'd know that."

Nero sighed, "she's a good girl, I'm sure she'll understand."

Gemma swallowed, "no she won't, she's been telling everyone to watch their backs, it was worse than getting her child hurt, I couldn't protect him because I was high, she and Jax are never going to forgive me if they find out."

"That will come back Gemma, you know how that shit works, you got to get in front of it. Tell them the truth."

A knock from Chucky broke the conversation, then Clay was rounding the corner and walking through the door. "I need to step out, my bowels very loose in situations like this."

Nero smiled, "well on that note. I'll check in on you."

Clay followed Nero, "I'll walk you out." Clay has grown bold since the crash, "whatever it is between you and my wife, it's over."

"Maybe we should let her make that call."

Clay shook his head, "I know you and Jax are tight and the Club appreciates your pussy salvation but make no mistake, you get in my way with Gemma, I'll kill you."

Nero didn't flinch, "don't worry, mano, I don't make mistakes, not like you."

****

Abel was still asleep when Holt came back from the lab, you waved him inside and he sat down, handing you an envelope, "where's Jax?

You shrugged, "finding the guys that tried to kill him and Chibs, what did you find?"

His face told you what you needed to know, "I went back to the scene, the only tire tracks were from Gemma's car and the van, and I had Angela look at CCVT on the road, no trucks entered any of the exits to the highway at the time of the crash. She lied, to what extent isn't for me to say, your answer is in there."

He patted your leg, "I'm sorry, I've bought in one of your backups, take as much time off as you need."

Without another word, he left. Sam clenched his jaw, "I'm gonna see what's going on out there."

He got up and left, taking his rage with him, "are you going to look at the tox screen?" Sam wasn't the only one who sounded angry, Ima wasn't happy with her and you could understand why.

"When Jax gets back."

Ima grabbed your hand, "if she was on something, I'm not letting her near my baby, ever."

"I know, I don't blame you."

****

Jax felt lost, sure he had got the guy who tried to kill him and Chibs but it left him with more questions than answers, either Gemma lied and there was no van or worse, the Nomads went after his family themselves. At least they had Franky on the hook, Jax just had to find a way to explain everything to you, without you going over the Club's head and killing them yourself.

****

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Clay huffed, "I hate hospitals."

Juice nodded, you had sent him back to the Clubhouse for that very reason. "I can't find anything on anyone, I asked around, The Mayans are doing some digging but I think we're still in the dark."

Clay knew something was going on, "anything you need to tell me." Juice shook his head, "no, why?"

Clay smiled, Juice's tone told him he was on the right track, "well, Roosevelt was pressing you pretty hard when we got out."

Juice shrugged, "yeah, I guess."

"Why just you?"

Juice was getting worried, "I don't know."

Clay's voice got higher, he was trying to seem like he wasn't digging, "I think you do."

Juice huffed, "he's just an asshole cop."

Clay shoved Juice down as he went to stand up, "what's he know Juice?"

Juice felt his heart race, "nothing."

Clay wasn't buying it, "don't lie to me."

Juice swallowed, "I'm not."

Clay leaned in close, "hey, you can tell me the truth son."

"Please Clay, I can't."

Got you.

"You've got no choice. Tell me Juice."

Juice took a deep breath, "my father, he's black. Roosevelt tried to use him to get me to rat but…"

Clay smiled, "but y/n already knew and lied for you."

Juice nodded, "yeah. She told me she'd take it to her grave."

Clay felt like rubbing his hands together, he had Juice right where he wanted him, "I'm the one who set the Nomads in motion."

Juice wasn't shocked, "what happens now?"

Clay smiled, "you keep my secret, I keep yours." Juice nodded, the moment Clay was gone, he was going right to you.

****

"You should take your wife home."

Sam shook his head softly, Ima had fallen asleep against his shoulder hours ago, "nah, she's getting this weird pregnant lady strength, I'm worried she'd kill me."

Jax huffed, "yeah, I can see her doing that. Has Abel been awake?"

Sam shook his head, "for like a minute an hour ago. y/n just went to take a call, she'll be back in a bi…. speak of the devil, are you ears burning?" You rolled your eyes as you walked in and kissed Jax's cheek.

"Did you get the guys?"

Jax nodded, "only the ones that went after us, my guess is the Nomads were the ones that went after Gemma."

The envelope was burning a hole in your pocket, "Jax, I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it."

Jax crossed his arms over his chest, "what?"

You took a deep breath, "there was no sign of a truck Jax, the only treads that were there were Gemma's car and van's, traffic cameras show the roads in and out of the highway were free of trucks too."

You reached into your pocket, "I have the drug test, I figure we ask Gemma once more before we open it."

Jax looked at the white paper in your hand, "Sam, take Ima home, she doesn't need to stress if this goes wrong, and neither do you. The last thing we need is you popping a stitch."

Sam smiled sadly, "sure brother, call us when Abel's up and we'll come back." When Sam woke Ima, he didn't give her the chance to protest before he was taking her home.

"Thank you for that."

Jax swallowed, "you're not the only one worried about the stress on Ima and her baby y/n, let's not talk about it anymore."

Jax sat you down, his eyes still on the paper in your hand, "you wanna look?"

Jax huffed, "not really."

You handed it to him, "we don't have to but Jax, if she can't protect Abel because she's using drugs, we can't let her near him."

Jax rubbed his face, "I know."

Before he could say more, Juice came in looking like he had seen a ghost, "what's wrong Juicy?"

"I need to talk to you, alone."

Jax's eyebrows rose, "it's alright my love, I'll be back soon." You got up and followed Juice into a quiet hallway, "what's going on Juice?"

Juice was almost hyperventilating, "Clay knows about the black thing."

You did your best not to react, "he's not going to tell anyone Juice, he won't get anything out of it."

Juice was still panicked, "he's given you an assurance, hasn't he?"

He nodded, "let me guess, he's behind the Nomads?"

Juice's eyes went wide, "yeah, how did you know?"

You smiled, "I've been lying, the bootprints were a match to Greg and I have fingerprints on the shells from the bullets that hit Sam. Jax, Opie, Bobby, Happy, Chibs and Sam already know all the details, we're telling people as we need to. I'm still working on Galen so we can't risk this getting out."

Juice relaxed, "what do I do?"

You smiled, "you come clean Juice, if it goes wrong, then I can get you out of the country and with a new identity in hours. Then I'm talking Abel and leaving his father because there is no way I will let my child be raised by a racist."

Juice blinked, "you would really leave Jax over this?"

You nodded, "in a heartbeat. Now let me make some calls and then we're going to put this to bed."

Ten minutes later, you were returning to Juice with a smile, "it's all set, if shit goes wrong, I have a plane waiting to take you to where ever you want to go. You ready?"

Juice gave a nod, "alright how do you want to do this?"

Juice took a deep breath, "can I get Chibs here?"

You smiled, "sure, how about we do it at my place, a little later, that way no one's worrying about Abel?"

Juice nodded, "that sounds good, what are you going to tell Jax?"

You shrugged, "that you need to tell him something later on and he better be ok about it if he ever wants to see me again."

He stopped you, "maybe it can wait until tomorrow? I don't want make things worse."

You nodded, "of course, you wanna come in and spend some time with Abel?"

Juice shook his head, "nah, it will just make things harder."

****

"Mummy, my head hurts."

You shot up off Jax's shoulder, almost knocking him in the head on the up, "hey little man, I'll go get a nurse to have a look." You ran out of the room and came back in record time, Jax having climbed into bed next to him.

The nurse cleaned his cut and gave him some pain meds, "you feeling a bit better now?"

Abel nodded and rubbed his face, "yes." You waved Jax over and lay down opposite to Jax so Abel was in the middle, "is grandma ok?"

Jax smiled, "yeah, little man, she's ok. Do you remember anything?"

Abel nodded, "grandma's car went funny, then she hit something."

"Did you see a big truck in front of you?"

Abel shook his head, "no, there was a big car behind us."

You looked at Jax, "we need to look at those results Jackson."

He took a deep breath, "just a little bit longer, I want to enjoy the peace while it lasts."

****

When you left the room to get coffee, the Nomads were standing around, if you didn't know any better, you'd think they felt guilty, "have you found anything?"

Franky shook his head, "nah, but we're still looking. We're gonna find the guys that went after your family."

You smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, "thank you for everything, you've been such a help to Jax and the Club."

The looks they shared made it clear that you had lulled them into a false sense of security, it wouldn't be long now they made another slip up.

****

"That's your fourth coffee, you doing ok?"

You rubbed your face, "my head's acting up, I'll be alright."

Jax made a face, "go home, Abel's going to be asleep most of the night anyway."

You shook your head, "we need to talk to Gemma first."

The envelope was still in your pocket, "I know, do you think she lied about that too?"

You shrugged, "for as much as Holt tries to be stonefaced, he loves Abel, his reaction pretty much told me what's in it."

Jax nodded, "yeah, I know, he called me to apologise."

You huffed, "he's a good man, despite the fact that he thinks we show too much affection towards each other in public."

Jax chuckled, "because he shakes Kevin's hand when they meet up for lunch."

You giggled, "yeah. Don't knock it, that could be us in ten years."

Jax shook his head, "I can't wait."

Knock Knock

It was Nero, Jax got up and let him in, "what's going on man?"

Nero swallowed, "can I talk you outside for a minute?" Jax left with a nod, his hand lingering on your cheek. They walked to an empty hallway and Nero stopped, "Gemma lied about the truck coming at her."

Jax snarled, "I know."

Nero's face remained calm, "what are you going to do."

Jax huffed, "she almost killed my kid."

"So what pres, you're gonna beat the shit out of your mother, hasn't that been done enough by your family."

Jax shook his head, walking away in a rage, "she's your problem now."

Jax returned and the conversation turned back to the tox screen but as you reached into your pocket, Gemma walked in, "maybe we ask her first."

Jax stood up, his face going hard, "are you going to tell her gonna tell her or am I."

Gemma stopped in her tracks, "I love him so much."

You stood up and walked next to Jax, reaching into your pocket, "this is a drug screen, I don't want to have to get my answers from this."

She glared at you, "you ran a drug test on me?"

"Yes, I did, there were no treads from a truck Gemma, and there was no paint on your car, there has to be a reason you lost control."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "why haven't you opened it?"

You huffed, "because I want to give you the chance to come clean." Jax stepped closer, putting himself between her and Abel.

"There was no truck, I was driving high and couldn't right the car after the van pulled away. I just didn't want to miss my chance with Abel." Rage, all you felt was white hot rage, you understood what Frank meant when he told you there's no anger on earth like the anger you feel to someone who hurts your child.

"I'll be back in a moment." You walked out, heading right towards the guys, "can someone please take the gun off my hip."

You raised your arms and Chibs walked over, lifting your shirt and taking the gun out of its holster, "why?"

You took a deep breath, "because Gemma was high when she got into the car with Abel and I don't want to do anything I might regret." You walked back into the room, your shirt over your belt showing the missing gun, a brief look of fear coming over Jax's face.

"I love you Gemma, I really do but you're done, you don't call, see or come near my child until you can be trusted to keep them safe. Driving high is one unforgivable thing, but driving high while our enemies are hunting us is another. You've done more than just get into the car when you shouldn't have, you've failed to protect my child when I handed him over to you for just that."

She stood there, her eyes growing wet, "Jax can get your key and we'll be changing the alarm codes, you won't be getting a new one for a very long time. You should stay away from me until you've got whatever's going on in your head sorted because I don't trust myself around you right now. Now please, get out of my sight."

Jax relaxed when she left, "thank you for not killing her."

His eyes were still stuck on your empty holster, "had we not been in public, I would have."

****

You and Jax left the hospital late, having left Opie and Kip to stay with Abel. As you climbed out of the shower and crawled into Jax's open arms, you took a deep breath to drop the next bomb, "Juice and Chibs will be here in the morning, Juice has some things he needs to talk to you about."

Jax's eyebrows furrowed, "it's not my place to say anything Jax, just leave it be until the morning."

Jax sighed, "do you ever regret moving here?"

You shook your head, "not for a single second, this will all work itself out Jax. Let your mum get over Clay and get her shit together, maybe spending some time away with Nero will get her back to her old self."

Jax huffed, "how are you so forgiving."

You smiled sadly, "because she's your mother and you love her, I want nothing more than to put a bullet in her brain but I love her too and killing her would just cause more pain. I won't stay angry at her forever, I just need time so I don't look at her and see my father's face staring back at me."

Jax huffed, "I would have let you shoot her."

You nodded, "I know, that's why I got rid of the gun."

Jax swallowed, "how long before we can bring Clay and the Nomads to the table?"

You shrugged, "Galen in back in two days, I'll know after that. Vance has already greenlit him, once the Irish are squared away he's even more of a dead man than he is now. As for the Nomads, they have no idea we're onto them."

Jax went to reply, but Ima was knocking on the door. You invited her in and she sat in the bed next to you, "I have an idea, can I talk to you in private?"

Jax didn't protest, waving his hand as you went to leave the room with Ima in tow, "don't get up, I need a drink anyway."

Jax left, shutting the door on his way out, "what's your idea?"

She smiled, "you're not going to like it, but I think it's going to end things."

Part 52

[periodicreviews]

50 Cent: The Final Lap Tour

"It might be the final lap, but 50 is forever."

These were the final words from 50 Cent during his appearance in Tampa for "The Final Lap" tour.

In the world of concerts, final doesn't mean final. But it hints that maybe, possibly, it could be. And if it is, and you miss it, you'd miss it forever.

Whether or not this is his final tour, this show made me a believer in 50 Cent again (or whoever behind the scenes orchestrated this).

In my 5th post on this tumblr, I complained about a single event which caused me to lose all faith in 50 Cent. I unfollowed him on Twitter long ago and haven't sought out any information on him. Petty? Maybe. But I was still subscribed to his channel on youtube. When I saw the ad for his tour, I thought despite that tragic event 8 years ago that I should pay money again to see him.

Jeremih

After parking and making the 20 minute walk from the lot to the amphitheater, I arrived with just a few songs left in Jeremih's set. I never looked into his music so I wasn't really missing anything. From the time when he ended, if he started at 7, then he only played for 30 minutes. He seemed to perform only segments of his songs before the DJ would scratch the record to a halt. He also had one of his crew perform their own song. It was all ok, nothing bad but barely anyone was standing. The mixing of the sound seemed to be off as well because it was hard to hear his vocals.

Busta Rhymes

When I originally bought my ticket, I assumed that even if 50 Cent did a repeat of his 2015 performance, then at least I'd have the 2nd act, Busta Rhymes. Without knowing anything about his live show or really anything about him as a person, I just assumed that Busta Rhymes would bring his A game based on the level of technique he uses in songs like "Look at me now". I'm using that as an example because that and "Break ya neck" are really the only two Busta Rhymes songs that I know. I've probably heard some others but they didn't really come up in his set. I'm remembering now that I have a copy of "Come on" from Tiesto featuring Busta Rhymes, but that probably doesn't get performed live.

Anyway, Busta Rhymes's set time arrives. His hype man comes out, makes an introduction while an elaborate throne chair slowly turned to reveal Busta Rhymes sitting there in a relaxed position. There was quite a bit of cheering for him just turning around so he sat there and milked it for a bit.

He launched into his first song and it seemed like his voice was a lot deeper than he sounded on these 10-20 year old tracks that I was familiar with. Not sure if it's age, smoking, other health problems, or some combination of it all. After some quick DuckDuckGo searching, it seems he's definitely struggled with his weight, as well as having had surgery on his throat.

But the vocals don't really matter when you promptly stop the song after either verse 1 or chorus 1. Guy next to me said he had seen him recently and at that previous show it seemed like he was out of breath most of the time but since then he had lost some weight. It didn't seem like he was necessarily out of breath after 1 minute, but maybe this style of show was in recognition of that.

But even if he was only doing 1 verse+1 chorus, I wouldn't be as disappointed of what he was actually doing. Half of the time, he was making the audience sing the verse or chorus so the whole show had more of a sing along feel. Singing along with the show is something people do everywhere and a lot of bands at some point will actively encourage it for a portion of a song. But this was my first time at a show where I felt like I was getting so little from the original artist and too much from the audience.

The only song he sang a full verse+chorus on was his new single, though that's to be somewhat expected as most people in the crowd aren't going to know the words to it. The other piece he did in full was his verse on "Look at me now". At the time it seemed maybe a little slower than it was on the recording, but it still felt like 85% there which is a feat in itself.

The guy I thought was his hype man, Spliff Star, seemed more like his co-vocalist. Again, being unfamiliar with Busta Rhymes I wasn't sure if this was the usual performance that he gives or particular to this tour. But for me, the split dynamic didn't really work for me and I find hype men generally annoying to begin with.

Near the end of his set, Busta gave a bit of a speech talking about thing he thought were worth celebrating:

1. Waking up today

2. Cause we're blessed

3. 50 Cent

4. Each other

5. Tampa

6. 25 anniversary of one of his album

7. BET lifetime achievement award

8. 50 years of hip hop

I appreciated him taking the time to talk a bit about himself as a person, which made up a bit for the short performance style. But then the hour was up.

I was left wondering whether this would be the same thing that 50 Cent was going to do. Was all of this just a cash grab? Put "the final lap" branding on to entice people, come out and do 1 min of each song, not bother releasing any new songs, and call it a day.

In the intermission, it seemed like an excessively long time that we waited for. There were some technicians that gathered on stage, then looked at the massive LED screen setup and the lights. From the audience it was hard to see exactly what the problem was. And in the absence of seeing anything big, I was left wondering whether we really needed to delay the show for it. While the screens and the lights certainly elevate the performance, I'd have been content with just hearing 50 Cent perform.

50 Cent

The show finally started around 9:20. One of the 5 LED screens lit up with the image of 50 in silhouette as the crowd went wild. There was then a Nightcrawler teleportation effect where 50 disappeared in a wisp of smoke only to reappear on another one of the screens. After he teleported between all 5, a clear plastic enclosure on stage began to fill with smoke, and after filling completed, 50 popped out of it as he began the first song.

I didn't recognize the first song, but when he next went into "What Up Gangsta", I was sold by the end of the song.

Similar to Busta Rhymes, 50 Cent was not there 100% vocally. The guy next to me had also mentioned that it seemed like sound quality at the Mid Flordia Credit Union Amphitheatre had been in a downward spiral for awhile now. So maybe that was also at work here. He certainly wasn't yelling all the lyrics, which I had seen him do in previous concert videos. Looking at a recent interview, it definitely sounds like his voice wasn't what it used to be so I'm assuming that it's some combination of age and maybe not taking care of it during those earlier shows when he was shouting for the whole set.

He played a lot from "Get Rich or Die Tryin" which I appreciated, but also weaved in some of his newer stuff. But the big surprise aside from him actually performing was the reveal of the live band that was hidden inside of the large LED screens. The screens split apart in the middle to reveal them playing the drums, keyboard, bass, and guitar.

Earlier in the night, I asked the guy next to me whether he looked up setlists before going to see shows and he said he didn't. I've done it occasionally when I've needed to leave a show early but I generally like being surprised about what's going to come next. The live band surprise that would've been ruined with the setlist saying "guitar solo".

The stage production besides the LED screens and backing band was top notch. I can see now why the technicians might have wanted to delay the show a bit in order to troubleshoot an issue. There were quite a lot of different elements from fire and fireworks, to the smoke at the beginning, and 2 or 3 different sets of confetti. I'm not sure if they were separate elements or just flame jets with some kind of motor but there were typical vertical flames as well diagonal flames.

Another element to the production was the dance team. Maybe rap videos still feature lots of scantily clad women, I feel like I haven't watched a music video like this in a while but it also felt like a bit of a throwback to that era where I just remember so much controversy about rap music and videos being public enemy number one. The dancers served a dual role in keeping the energy going on stage in between the many outfit changes that 50 went through.

The only downside to the production was that a live band meant that the songs were not exactly the same as on the album. In general, this wasn't a problem except for "In Da Club". The steel drum sample was not the same and I just could not get over it. I'm not sure if they just didn't have access to it or if it was a conscious choice to do new arrangements of all the tracks.

There was only 1 minor hiccup during the show and that was when Jeremih was supposed to play a song on piano. They wheeled out a grand piano and when he sat down to play it, it was immediately clear that it wasn't making any sound. Without missing a beat, they cued up the backing track and he proceeded to skip that segment entirely. It's clear they spared no expense on not just the physical production but the team as well for them to be able to recover so quickly from that.

During the encore, 50 started to do shorter versions of some of his songs like Wanksta and Poor Lil' Rich. At this point, this was more than fine with me since we had already gotten so much.

The show ended without 50 saying much of anything. He kept the music and show moving and any long pause would've meant having to cut some of the songs. If this really is the last time he performs live, I would've liked a little more from him in terms of thanking the fans for coming out. Though when given the option between long bits of talking and focusing on the music, I’d take the latter most days.

In retrospect, my process for buying a ticket really didn’t make sense. If I really had no confidence in 50, I might have waited until after he had performed at least one show, then looked up a setlist and a review to see if it was real or not. But I guess I had some hope still since it was an arena show as opposed to something at a nightclub.

Overall, for the 39 dollars I paid for a seat (I could have sat on the lawn for 20), the value was incredible. I watched an interview he did for Men's Health to lookup how his speaking voice sounds like now. At the end he talks about being frustrated being told "No" when asking for pyrotechnics at his show and saying he'd rather be told what it takes to get it if he wants it. This would seem to indicate that he's the driving force behind the big production on this tour. If that really is the case, then I'll give him credit for putting the pieces in motion. Ultimately it takes a whole crew to put on the show and everyone played their part in making it a successful and memorable night for me.

[trialbystory]

Flash Fiction Fridays!

Hey all. SoC12 is in progress and should be up before end of day Monday, possibly much earlier. In the mean time, most of what I've written in my life is FlashFiction (short stories generally 50-1000 words long), and most of it's on my now-defunct deviant art page, but I'd like to post the ones I like/am proud of here, maybe write some new ones too. So if you're interested in seeing bite-sized original fiction from me, keep an eye on this page Friday mornings, starting right now, with the story I wrote for day 10 of Flashfiction Month 2019. Out of everything I'll be posting under this auspice, this is one of 3 stories that have the most chance for me to come back and build them out into something bigger. So yeah, click the keep reading link to see the 477 words I wound up calling "For the People."

****

"The queen makes the crown, dear, never the other way around. You must always remember that." Today was an important day for Eliza. There had never truly been much room for doubt, but today it was going to be made official: In only a few hours' time she would be named heir to the throne. "On its own it's simply a pretty piece of metal, like any piece of jewelry. Much in the same way that a ruler has no power on their own." 

Eliza was no stranger to lectures. She'd heard them often enough from her nursemaid when she was younger, and her various tutors and instructors and she'd grown up learning all the things a lady of the royal court was expected to know or do. But hearing one from her adoptive father was new; even when he'd judged her ready to begin learning matters of state it had largely been through observation rather than direct explanation. This had a more formal air to it, and she found herself responding the same way she did when her teachers left a statement like that one hanging in the air. By asking the obvious question. 

"So where does a ruler's power come from?"

"From the agreement between the ruler and their people. Eliza leaned in and waited for her father to continue. Her tutors, particularly on the subject of history, often spoke of armies and the right of conquest and occasionally diplomacy, but this was something altogether new. "If the people were to rise up as one against the ruling class or even simply collectively decide not to abide by one or more of the laws we set out, it would become difficult for us to remain in power without resorting to outright tyranny. But likewise they lack the training, knowledge and experience necessary to keep the realm itself united, functional, and safe from foreign predation." As he spoke, he poured a cup of wine for himself and gestured for her to do the same. "Thus the agreement, unspoken though it may be, that the people will do their part to keep society moving, as workers, farmers, traders, and craftsmen. While we rule not for our own sake, but fairly and justly on their behalf, keeping the realm stable and secure for all who live in it." He finished his drink and rose, crossing the room to where the golden circlet that would be hers from today on rested on a small pedestal. 

He lifted it by the edges and returned to her side with it still in his hands. "There's some time yet before the formal ceremony, but the true coronation comes with these words, as my own father said to me." He lowered it onto her head, smiling. "The crown itself is just a symbol. It's up to you to make it mean something."

[imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend]

I’ll Take Care of You, Chapter 19: Words

this is chapter 19? wtf?!

Fic Summary: Reader works in the hospital where Billy Russo keeps his mother. They’ve caught each other’s eye. But she thinks he is the devoted son… little does she know what hides behind a handsome face and expensive suits.

Posted on my ao3 as well :)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Fem!Nurse!Reader

Chapter Summary: Reader and her bestie further dive into bestie’s reaction to Billy.

Warnings: swearing.

Words: 2.3k

Masterlist ~~ Chapter 18

~

Billy knew that something was wrong as soon as you were back in the car. You had said you didn’t really want to talk about it and he respectfully nodded. He placed his hand on your thigh in a comforting manner and kept it there the entire drive. You shared a sweet kiss before getting out of the car and he said he’d text you later.

Now, you were snuggled in your bed watching TV. You were trying to block out the way your friend had treated and reacted to Billy.  

You thought she would have liked him. You really did. Her reaction upset you, which you were a little surprised at. But not really, if you thought about it. You were falling pretty hard for Billy.  

Your thoughts broke when your phone vibrated. It was your bestie.

9:49 pm Hey. You left pretty quickly today

You sighed. 9:50 pm Sorry about that. I didn’t really know what else to say. I didn’t like the way you were talking about Billy.

Your phone started ringing a minute later. She was calling you.

You groaned and flailed your legs under the covers in frustration. You did not want to get into this. You wanted to sleep. You should have waited to text her back.

You accepted the call.

“Hey.” Your tone was reserved.

“Hey.” She replied carefully.

The silence over the phone was so loud.

You weren’t going to talk first. She called you.

“Um, I wanted to check in. See if you were okay.” A pause. “If we were okay.”

You hesitated. “I’m fine, I guess. I was just surprised by what you said. All the things you said.”

She sighed. “Hear me out, babes. He was giving me bad vibes. He's trying to pay for my coffee, pays for yours, flaunts about how he’d get you whatever you’d want. I see my bestie with this older dude’s arm around her for our entire coffee date. It looked possessive to me.”

Your brow furrowed at the word possessive, as she continued.

“I just think he’s a little sketchy. What kind of work do you do right after serving that allows you to build up your own company? I looked it up. It’s not just security, they do private military contracts. Did you know that?”

You hadn’t known that. He never mentioned it. You’d always just assumed it was just security and that’s all he ever talked about. “That’s not a big deal. He’s told me that he can’t always share about work stuff because of NDA’s and stuff like that.”

“Hmm. That’s convenient.”

“It’s his job, what do all of the details about it matter?”

“Because what type of person becomes a founder of a private military service?”

“What does that even mean? You know he used to serve! Did you know that he grew up in the foster system? Do you think he had a college fund?”

“I-”

“He didn’t have an education. He wasn’t as fucking lucky as us. He didn’t have anything before the Marines, so why is it so wrong that he built something from all he knew?”

“Okay, I didn’t know that,” she said surprisingly calmly, with the way you were chewing her out.

“Yeah, so then why are you judging him?”

“Maybe I spoke too soon, then.”

“I think you did.”

“Alright, well, I’m sorry.”

You stewed a bit before you forced out an, “Okay.”  

“I’m just worried about you, babe. I’m not sure if you’re just his arm candy or not.”

That made you so unbelievably mad.

“You have no right to say that. You don’t know Billy, so you don’t have a fucking clue what his intentions with me are. And also, ouch. Arm candy? Thanks for that. That's all you think I’m worth to him? That’s fucked up.”

“It’s like I said!” Her voice rising in defense, “You’re young and you’re hot! This is some rich dude, probably looking to show you off. Why isn’t he already in a relationship with someone his own age?”

“You’re jumping to conclusions way too fast. You’ve talked to him for what, 30 minutes? How can you judge him based off that?! So what, he’s a little older and he’s got money. He’s not dating someone his exact age. Why does that automatically make him a bad person to you? Why is it so bad that Billy’s interested in me? Why is it so bad that he wants to take care of me and make me feel special?”

“There’s nothing wrong with-”

“Exactly, so before you go running your mouth about Billy and coming up with all these bullshit reasons for why he’s not good enough for me, you should really actually talk to him.”

“He’s an older guy, period. It seems like he has his life sorted out, and I don’t know where you fit into that.”

Your brow furrowed again. “You don’t think I fit? So, now what, I’m not good enough for him?”

“No!”

“Because now you’re making me feel like that’s what it is.” You felt like absolute shit.

“Y/N, that’s not-”

“I can’t believe this is happening right now.” You choked on a sob, tears spilling forth. “I have to go.”

You hung up and another sob wracked your body. You dropped the phone beside you and ignored it when it started to ring as she tried to call you back. You were so worked up.  

You ignored 2 more of her calls, sniffling and letting tears stream down your face. She needed to stop. You did not want to talk to her anymore. Not in your state. There was only one person you wanted to talk to.

You picked up your phone and clicked on Billy’s name.  

He picked up on the second ring. “Hey, everything okay?” There was definite concern in his voice, with you calling him after 10pm.

You hiccupped. “Can you come over?”

Silence, for like 1 second, but to you it felt like so much longer.

“I know it’s late, and-and I’m sure you want to go to bed,” a little sniffle, “but I-I really want to see you. I need to see you, Billy, please.” You cried.

“Okay, baby. Take a couple breaths for me.” You took in a deep breath, which was choppy from your sobs, then blew it out, and repeated that once more. “Good. I’m on my way, okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “Okay.”

You heard the jingle of his keys before the line went dead.

It felt like an eternity, waiting for Billy. You relocated to your living room, wrapping a blanket around yourself and ignoring the few other attempts of your friend trying to talk to you. You paced back and forth, waiting for the knock on your door.

When you finally heard it, you rushed over to the door and threw it open. Billy was there, sweats and a t shirt under a bomber. His hair wasn’t styled, and fell to the side.  

You immediately felt bad, calling him over at 10:30 at night. More tears welled in your eyes at your guilt, and Billy looked at you in concern.  

His hands reached out and held your shoulders, and he ducked his head to try to meet your eyes. “What’s the matter?” He asked.

Your voice stuck in your throat. Your frown deepened and you pressed yourself against him, pushing your face straight into his chest. You sniffled and tried to control the trembling of your body.

Billy held you immediately, and stroked your hair. He kept the embrace for a few moments before he pulled away. “Let’s go inside, yeah?”

You pulled away sheepishly and nodded. You back stepped to let him inside, but just stood with your arms wrapped around yourself. Billy kicked his shoes off as he hung up his jacket, took one more look at you, then scooped you up in his arms.

You dropped your face to the crook of his neck and he carried you over to the couch. He adjusted your legs around him and sat down carefully with you straddling his lap. You were still kind of sniffling, so he didn’t say anything and just merely rubbed his hands over your back soothingly.

When you stopped quivering from your sobs and the tears were starting to dry, you let out a big sigh.

“Do you want to talk about what's going on? I know something was bothering you after we met your friend but did something happen?” He asked gently.

You kept your head resting on his shoulder. “My friend, she doesn’t like you.” You sounded so congested. “She was saying all this bullshit about you, Billy, and it made me so mad. She doesn’t even know you. Not like I do.”  

You were interrupted by another stupid hiccup. “She thinks you’re this big bad rich man who wants to show me off to all of his snooty old friends. She thinks there’s something wrong with you because you have a private military service and doesn’t know how you managed to start it all up.” His body stiffened a little bit at that sentiment, but you barely noticed. “She thinks that you’ve got your life together and that I’m just a piece that’s going to end up not fitting.”

Billy’s hand came up to the back of your neck and he gently pulled you up to look at him. His eyes were hard. “I thought your friend would be smart, because you’re so brilliant, little lady. But she sounds really ignorant to me. She has no idea how I feel about you, and she definitely doesn’t know me well enough to make any assumptions about why you’re my girlfriend.”

“She thinks I’m your arm candy.” You pouted sadly.

“Frankly, baby girl, I don’t give a fuck what she thinks. And she’s wrong. I’m not with you to show you off. I’m with you because you make me feel... good. Happy. You make me appreciate the little things in life, the way I haven’t for a long time. You make me forget about all the other bullshit in my life and all the fucked-up shit that I’ve done. I’m with you because-” he stopped himself suddenly. His eyes darted back and forth between yours, his eyebrows drawing together.

“Because what?” you asked in a small voice.

He cupped your face with both of his hands. “I’m with you because I love you, Y/N.”

Your lips parted. “I-oh.” Was all you managed to say. Your eyes darted back and forth between his now, and you also glanced at his lips. Did those words really just leave those lips?

Billy’s tongue wet his bottom lip. “I don’t know if it’s too soon or whatever but it’s how I feel and I realized that a few days ago. But you don’t have to say it back, I don’t expect you-”

You surged forwards and cut him off with a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned into him. He must have been a little stunned, because he didn’t move for a moment. Then, one hand moved to cradle the back of your head and the other stroked your cheek lovingly.

You pulled away when you needed to catch your breath. You raked your fingers through his hair. “I love you, too.”

Billy’s eyes were wide. “You do?”

You smiled at him gently, nodding. “I thought I’d beat you to the punch, actually.”

“Are you kidding? With me gushin’ all about you and my feelings this week? No way.” He grinned.

You laughed, and you saw his body relax. He brought your forehead to rest against his.

“I love you, little lady. No matter what your friend thinks, okay?”

You nodded, “Okay.”

He tugged you back to his mouth and kissed you soundly.

***

Billy ended up staying the night. You apologized for wetting his shirt with your tears, and felt embarrassed that your first professions of ‘I love you’ occurred with your red eyes and pyjamas, but he didn’t care in the slightest. He shushed you gently and carried you back to your bed. He joined you under the covers and said he didn’t have a meeting until 10 the next day so he would sleep in with you.

You were happy to hear that, and cuddled up to him to feel his strong heart beat underneath your palm. It lulled you to sleep, and you were glad that you had called him over. He had totally calmed you down, and you had taken the next big step in your relationship. You loved him so much, and you were so happy to finally admit it, both to yourself and to Billy. After his confessions earlier in the week, you knew that you were falling hard for him and it only made you feel better to learn that he was feeling the same.

You woke up in Billy’s arms, and he was gently stroking your hair. You sighed and nuzzled your nose into his neck. “Good morning.” You said, kissing his skin.

“Morning, baby girl. Sleep okay?”

“Slept very well, actually. Thanks so much for coming over.” You raised your face to look at him. “It means a lot to me.”

He cupped your cheek and smiled. “Glad I could make you feel a little better.”

“So much better.” You hummed.

He kissed your forehead. “Mind if I use your shower?”

You tucked your head back under his chin. “Do mind. Wanna cuddle.” You tossed your leg over his hips.

He chuckled. “Just a little bit longer.”

You hummed in satisfaction. “Love you.” You mumbled into his neck.

He wrapped his arms around you tighter. “I love you too, little lady.”

~

Author’s note: DID YOU LIKE THE ENDING AS MUCH AS I DID?

Also, I hate to be doing this but pals... my taglist is getting long. And my notes aren’t doing the same. Sure, I’m writing this for myself. But I also crave engagement. Some sort of validation for putting myself out there with my writing.

Reblogs and likes and comments are appreciated, babes.

Taglist (which I might shorten, to be honest):

@princess-miaa @catherinnn @kahlanmars @tnrthings @hisdoll107

@booksandbenbarnes @thatbritishactor @quellmythirst @adriennebarnes

@loubombshell @slut4benbarnes @nothinkingonlycrying @whattheforks

@musicalggirl @whor-3-crux @bxtchopolis @restingbitchsblog

@nerds4life246 @hydrogen-in-our-veins @insssanemind  @thegreengoop

 @springtimesimmer @dragon-of-winterfell @profoundme444

 @misscaitygrace

Chapter 20

[krappykawa]

fake dating headcanons with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo

ANON ASKED: “hi i really like your writing 🥺🥺 could i request fake dating with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo? like they told their teams that they have a girlfriend but they dont lmao so they ask one of their classmates to pretend to be their gf so the team can meet her? and they end up falling for her along the way :)) i look forward to reading more of ur works!! 💖”

atsumu x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader, kuroo x f!reader

genre. fluff

warnings. language

word count. 6.3k

note. DAMN this one got away from me ... 6.3k words for a headcanon post ...... sorry anon i’m not sure if you wanted a long post but i mean, here we are lol 

note 2. had to repost because something was up with the tags lol i hope it works fine this time

ATSUMU.

- the team has a favorite twin and it’s osamu, we all know it

- one day after practice, the team finds out that one of the first-years managed to get a girlfriend

- most of the inarizaki vb team is single at that point in time so it starts a conversation about relationships

- somewhere in the conversation, aran says, “osamu, man. I can’t believe ya haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. yer easily one of the best-looking people in the school.”

- osamu just shrugs, but atsumu’s like “huh??”

- “hey ‘samu and i have the same face. don’t cha mean that we’re some of the best-looking people in the school??”

- the guys in the locker room exchange glances

- aran‘s like “look, atsumu. don’t blow up on me or anything, but most girls don’t really want to date you.” (keep in mind that aran’s strictly speaking about the girls that aren’t a part of the miya twins fan club)

- “and why the hell not?”

- at this point, aran’s looking at literally everyone in the room and pleading with his eyes for help because he doesn’t want to start a fight with atsumu

- suna takes pity on aran and says, “hate to break it you, miya, but girls don’t want to date a guy who’s a massive asshole”

- now, atsumu could care less if the entire goddamn world thinks he’s an asshole, but it rubs him the wrong way that his teammates think that osamu’s a better catch than he is

- sibling rivalry pride or whatever

- so atsumu goes “i think my girlfriend would disagree because oh will ya look at that, she’s dating me!”

- he was most definitely not dating anyone

- osamu raises an eyebrow at him because to his knowledge, atsumu didn’t have a girlfriend

- “since when did you have a girlfriend?”

- osamu looks at atsumu with knowing eyes and smirks. “yeah sumu, who’s this girlfriend of yours? I don’t think i’ve met her yet.”

- atsumu knows he’s gotten himself in some deep shit

- but still he’s still full of pride, so he says, “i’ll bring her by to practice tomorrow.”

- now miya atsumu has a dilemma because there are some things he just shouldn’t lie about (because now he’ll never live it down if he can’t figure out a way to get himself out of this one)

- atsumu knows that he’s got that fanclub that would probably be more than willing to date him, but the thought of being in their presence for longer than two seconds makes his skin crawl because he doesn’t think he could handle the excessive screaming

- so that night he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he frequents because they have some of the best macarons in town

- you’re one of the bakers at that bakery that works the shift when he usually comes in for his weekly macarons so you two are acquainted

- you also go to inarizaki, so you hear the rumors that circulate around atsumu, but you don’t really pay much attention to them because he’s not that bad whenever he comes into the bakery

- like sometimes if he tries to only order 2 macarons but notices that there are only 5 macarons left, he’ll buy them all just to make your life easier

- when he comes in that day, he has this troubled look on his face. “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you like to keep tabs on your regulars and what they order, so when he orders an iced matcha, you know that something’s probably up (he never orders drinks from there because he said that his brother would kill him if he didn’t bring him home a drink too and having to carry the two drinks up to their apartment is hassle enough)

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- it’s almost time to close up and you two are the only two left so you figured you had time for small talk

- “i may have outright lied to my team about havin’ a girlfriend.”

- “you don’t?” that surprises you because so many girls at your school have a crush on the miya twins (you would know because your best friend is practically in love with osamu)

- when atsumu shakes his head dejectedly, you don’t quite understand what he’s so down for

- “you do know that there are like 50 girls that are practically lining up to date you right?”

- “yeah, but they’d expect a real relationship and i’m no good at those.”

- “why not?”

- “i’m too argumentative, let's just say, plus i’ve been told that i kinda come off as an asshole.”

- “and volleyball right?” you would know since he always comes into the bakery after a practice and he looks like he’s both dead and alive

- when you hand him his matcha and packet of macarons, he pauses

- “listen, don’t take this the wrong way but yer single right?”

- you almost smile to yourself because wow for a guy so attractive, his way with words isn’t great

- “i am.”

- he stands there for a good 20 seconds just looking at you with that look in his eyes that tells you that he’s trying to ask you something but he doesn’t know how to do it

- “you want me to act as your fake girlfriend don’t you?”

- cue atsumu chuckle @%EUTYDJBCJWER)*&# hhhhfs

- “ya know, i’m kinda seein’ why i get called an asshole all the time. it doesn’t sound as great when ya’ say it like that.”

- you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend, but on the condition that your best friend will be able to tag along if osamu’s gonna be there

- and that’s the start of it

- you visit his practice the next day before work and his team looks at you in surprise because they were 100% sure that having a girlfriend was just another one of atsumu’s lies

- they all kinda stare at you a little extra too because you’re really pretty

- “aye, get yer asses back to volleyball and stop starin’ at my girl like that.”

- you know it’s all fake, but him saying that kinda makes you blush anyways

- when you first agreed to fake dating him, you weren’t expecting that you’d have to spend too much time with him (he did tell you that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship) but that changes because osamu’s insistent that atsumu should at least try to be a good boyfriend and eat lunch with you and stuff

- you’re both aware that osamu doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit

- atsumu’s got this raging pride when it comes to his twin brother, so he actually listens because now he’s made it his personal mission to convince osamu that you and him are actually dating

- it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine

- you and your best friend eat lunch with the twins (you and atsumu both watch as your best friend fumbles her way into talking with osamu), you drop by before work to give atsumu a kiss on the cheek before practice, he drops by the bakery after practice nearly everyday, and you come to his games while wearing a jersey that he lent you

- his teammates like you a lot and tease atsumu all the time because they claim that you’re way too good for him

- surprisingly, he always gets a little protective when they say things like that and always slips an arm around your waist

- one day when you’re over at his apartment, you help atsumu learn how to make macarons (with some help from osamu)

- it takes a while because he would get mad at the macarons when they would come out in weird shapes

- “stupid macarons! they got it out for me i’m tellin’ ya! they’re being like that on purpose!”

- LITERALLY A CHILD

- you learn to like that about him though

- dates with him are usually on the weekends (you both drag osamu and your best friend out with you) and it’s always something fun that osamu suggests because atsumu wasn’t joking when he said he sucks at real relationships

- most of these dates consist of holding hands as you walk around the streets until osamu sees a restaurant he wants to try out

- he always insists on feeding you at least once in your meal

- he also loves doing the walrus-chopsticks face?? (he only started doing it because he liked hearing you laugh)

- as time passes, you two start going on dates without osamu and your best friend (atsumu always claims that it’s because he wants to show osamu up, but you start to notice that osamu doesn’t even find out about these dates most of the time)

- you secretly like these dates better than those with osamu and your best friend because atsumu feels more at ease and will develop a softer tone around you during these dates

- eventually, he starts to always greet you with a forehead kiss whenever you’re in public (you’re not sure if he does it just because his brother is watching, or if maybe he might be starting to like you)

- you try to make your brain forget that most of the time, he kisses your forehead before osamu even walks in

- one day after practice, you’re waiting for him because you didn’t have a shift at the bakery that day

- he walks out of the club room looking mildly pissed and you’re a little wary

- but then he gets to where you’re standing and just pulls your waist towards him and full on kisses you

- mind you, this is your first kiss on the lips with him

- it’s not a quick peck either, like you can hear the wolf whistles from his teammates in the back and you’re left breathing hard and flushed pink afterwards

- damn if that’s what his kisses are like, you suddenly wish he’d do it more often

- “what was that for?”

- “nothin’”

- sometime in the future you find out that he did that because his teammates were once again talking about your relationship and one of them joked that atsumu paid you to pretend to be his girlfriend

- he knew that what you had wasn’t necessarily real, but he just had the urge to kiss you then (he swears to you that he doesn’t know why)

- he does know why. it was because it was starting to slip his mind that your relationship was fake and the reminder made him a little mad at himself

- he realizes that maybe he’s fallen in love with you when osamu brings it up

- atsumu had asked for osamu’s help because he wanted to surprise you by making you mochis for your upcoming four month anniversary of being his fake girlfriend (typing this out was so funny, this man is so whipped he doesn’t know it)

- “ya know, when i first met y/n, i was sure that it was all fake and that you’d slip up about it one day. i guess i was wrong.”

- atsumu doesn’t say anything to that because in his head he’s trying to convince himself that “no. this is all still fake.” but it’s hard to convince himself of that when his hands are covered in the rice flower that he’s using to make your favorite dessert for your four months of faking being together

- he tries not to think about what osamu said when he gives you the gifts later that night

- he tries not to think about it when he gets that funny feeling that he’s been feeling for a while now when he sees the way you light up upon opening the box of mochis

- he most definitely tries not to think about it when you accidentally give him your second kiss of the relationship because you were caught up in the spur of the moment

- it’s on the way home back to his apartment that night that he realizes he’s fucked

- because good god he’s fallen for you

- he tries to break it off after that

- you’re confused at how sudden it is, but you let him break it off because at that point you’re already in love with him and are still too scared to say it because you keep remembering how he always said that he didn’t want a real relationship

- IDIOTS IN LOVE YOU'RE BOTH SO .

- he tries to go back to normal after that

- but for the love of everything he just . can’t

- his eyes always linger a little too long on the door right before practice because you would always come see him before going to work

- his feet would instinctively move in the direction of the bakery after practices until he realizes what he’s doing and forces himself to go home

- his eyes would scan for your figure wearing his jersey during games until he remembers that you probably weren’t there and that you most definitely wouldn’t be wearing his jersey

- he wants to kick himself because the reason he asked you to be his fake girlfriend in the first place was because he didn’t want a real relationship

- yet here he was. wallowing because if there’s anything more he wants, it’s a real relationship with you

- osamu gets fed up with him eventually

- “take yer ass to the bakery right after practice. i’m not letting you into the apartment until you see her.”

- and surprisingly, he actually listens to his twin brother

- he walks into the bakery for the first time in a while and says “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”

- you look up at him then because you vividly remember that night. how could you not?

- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”

- “i may have outright lied to myself about loving you.”

- you nearly drop the drink in your hands

- “‘tsumu? what are you on about?”

- “i know i said that i’m no good at real relationships. but i’ve found that i want to learn to be good.”

- a pause

- “i want to learn with ya.”

OIKAWA.

- this poor boy is always the butt of the jokes that come from his team

- seriously though. it’s always “tease oikawa day” (he teases them back so it’s all good)

- but one day, they’re all in the locker room when hanamaki brings up this girl that he’s planning on asking out because he’s not sure how to do it

- oikawa, being the little shit that he is, goes “step one, makki. have my face. step two, have my amazing personality. step three, ask her out.”

- he barely ducks in time to miss the shoe that comes flying towards his head

- “makki! such unbecoming behavior! my advice is perfect!”

- matsukawa snorts and says “perfect advice my ass. you can’t even get anyone to like you. let alone go out with you, crappykawa.”

- “don’t spread lies, mattsun.” oikawa clicks his tongue like a mother scolding his child. “or do you seem to forget the dozens of confessions i get on the daily along with the girls that you three complain about all the time because ugh shittykawa’s gonna make us late if he keeps talking to them” (he’s so dramatic lol he says that last part in this weird, whiny voice)

- iwaizumi scoffs. “doesn’t count when you reject every single one.”

- “i do not!”

- “right. right. as if you don’t make them cry because you’re so nice about rejecting them too.” (oikawa frowns at that one because he doesn’t mean to make them cry)

- “yeah, shittykawa, you’re pretty bad at love in general. i’d die before listening to your advice.” (this one is from matsukawa)

- “there’s also the fact that the girlfriend’s you did have all broke up with you because you would rather cuddle with a volleyball than cuddle with them.” (this one is from hanamaki)

- oikawa scowls at them “i don’t cuddle my volleyball.”

- “sure you don’t. just like you most definitely don’t have a name for it either.”

- “leave iwa-chan the second out of this!” (he drew an angry face on his volleyball too because he claims it looks like iwaizumi)

- iwaizumi groans. “i hate you. so so much.”

- at this point, oikawa knows they’re right, but he’s also really prideful. “and besides. i would suggest taking my advice because i got a girlfriend just today!”

- he most definitely did not

- “sure you did. hey mattsun, i bet a week tops until she breaks up with him.”

- “nah i’ll bet five days.”

- after practice, oikawa came up with a plan for the next day to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself

- he usually got confessions before school, so he told iwaizumi that he was going to school early to practice and instead waited for a girl to confess to him

- but the moment he saw this second-year walk up to him with a little box, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it

- he couldn’t do that to this innocent girl

- and he tries to say yes to her. he really does.

- but he can practically hear his older sister’s voice yelling at him about how “even when you get popular and get confessions from people left and right, i don’t want you leading anyone on. you only accept a confession if you actually like them.”

- he’s probably more scared of his sister than he is of his own mother, so he says no to that second-year, even when she starts to frown and walk away

- he’s leaning against the gym and rubbing the bridge of his nose when he hears you

- “everything alright?”

- you two were pretty close because he found out that you had a crush on iwaizumi in your second year and tried to set you two up (it didn’t work because he’s pretty bad at being a wingman)

- even when iwaizumi rejected you, oikawa had already grown to like your presence, so you two stayed friends despite how his best friend broke your heart

- “y/n-chan! what are you doing here so early?”

- “just returning a book to the library before the librarian knocks down my door and kicks my ass for having an overdue library book. what are you doing here so early?”

- “would you believe me if i said that i was practicing volleyball?”

- you look him up and down, and the smell of fresh cologne reaches your nostrils. his uniform is neatly put together.

- “looking like that? no, no i would not.”

- “well, what would you believe?”

- “i don’t know .. the truth maybe?”

- “the truth is embarrassing and is defamation to my good name.” that makes you raise your brow at him.

- “okay now i only want to hear the truth. i will not accept anything but the truth. now tell me, what kind of embarrassment have you proved yourself to be this morning?”

- “so mean, y/n-chan! now i see why you so very adored our precious iwa-chan.”

- you groan because you don’t want to remember that rejection. “oh just hurry up and embarrass yourself instead of embarrassing me.”

- “but it’s quite embarrassing.”

- “come on, spit it out.”

- “i may or may not have told iwa-chan, makki, and mattsun that i have a girlfriend when i don’t have one.”

- you look at him like he’s the dumbest person you’ve ever met, because at that moment, you really believed that he was. “couldn’t you just … i don’t know … accept one of your many, many confessions?”

- oikawa tells you about his fear of his sister and the second-year that just confessed to him

- you find yourself admiring his sister because she’s probably the one person on this planet that can humble oikawa tooru (the next person to be able to do so will be you, but you don’t know that yet)

- after hearing his explanation you get an idea. “can’t you ask someone to fake being in a relationship with you? you know, so you don’t get the angry sister devil/angel thing on your shoulder?” (LOL if you don’t get what the angel/devil thing that i’m talking about is, it’s like when you have an imaginary angel and a devil that sits on your shoulders and criticizes every choice you make)

- “are you offering, y/n?” he has that shit-eating grin on his face again, so you know he’s mostly joking

- “hmm, i don’t know. i think you’ll have to formally ask me to be your fake girlfriend. it’s only polite after all.”

- oikawa blinks for a second because he didn’t actually think you were serious. “what?”

- “are you going to ask me to be your fake girlfriend or not? maybe throw in a flower and i’ll say yes.”

- oh. oh.

- well, he wasn’t going to let what might be his only opportunity to get someone to fake date him pass by

- he looks around and sees a small flower on the ground and picks it

- he takes both your hands and puts the flower in one of them before saying, “y/n-chan will you, take me, oikawa tooru, as your loving pretend boyfriend, and save me from irrevocable embarrassment?”

- you laugh in his face because he’s trying so hard not to laugh through his “proposal.”

- “minus points for not getting on one knee but i guess i do.”

- you mainly did it because you may have already gotten rejected by iwaizumi, but you did like the possibility of being friends with him, and fake dating oikawa would probably let you do that

- you also kind of felt bad for oikawa, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating how embarrassing it would be if his teammates found out he was lying

- when you and oikawa walk up to the seijoh third-years while holding hands, makki and mattsun are jostling each other while iwaizumi looks mildly surprised

- “see matsun! pay up!”

- oikawa and you both look in surprise as mattsun reluctantly shoves a few bills into makki’s awaiting hand

- oikawa’s looking between them both. “what bet did you use me for this time?”

- “i bet mattsun that you and y/n secretly liked each other.”

- blink blink

- iwaizumi sees the mildly awkward situation brewing so he says, “anyways, y/n if you ever get tired of this dumbass, you’re more than welcome into our group. we’ll just kick oikawa out.”

- after that, you and oikawa fall into a dating routine easily (you have a pretty busy schedule too so both you and oikawa understand each other schedules well)

- usually this is where oikawa’s relationships fail. he spends so much time with volleyball and the team that he doesn’t really spend time with his significant others

- it’s different with you though. maybe it’s the fact that the stakes aren’t so high because it’s only a fake relationship after all, or maybe it’s because unlike his past significant others, you don’t mind spending most of your time and “dates” with the other seijoh third-years, or maybe it’s because he remembers that locker room conversation and he wants to prove to makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi that he can be a good boyfriend (even if it’s a good fake boyfriend)

- dates with oikawa are usually laid-back because he’s tired from practice (so like walks in the park, getting ice cream, or study dates where you don’t get much done because you spend most of it just laughing and cooking in his kitchen)

- you find that he’s secretly a decent cook (the only thing keeping from saying that he’s a good cook is because he can’t cut vegetables for his life, and he also managed to accidently burn the onions you were trying to caramelize).

- neither of you acknowledge the fact that since nobody’s there to see those dates, you two technically don’t have to go on them since it’s only a fake relationship

- oh and takeru LOVES you

- seriously. he thinks you’re probably the coolest person ever (he tells you one day that he thinks you’re even cooler than oikawa and oikawa is a pouting mess the rest of your day. you can only pull him out of his slump when you jump on his back and force him to run to the bakery and buy milk bread)

- sometimes you’ll come with oikawa when he needs to watch takeru

- as takeru teaches you how to receive a volleyball, oikawa will watch you two with a little smile on his face (this loser is so whipped like man people passing by reminisce on how they were young and in love once because oikawa looks at you like that. oikawa doesn’t notice that he’s doing it though.)

- you sometimes spend time at his house with iwaizumi or on select days just by yourself (mostly for study dates or for watching weird sci-fi movies that oikawa seems to love)

- since you’re at his house so often, oikawa’s mother takes a liking to you because “you finally got her boy to care about something that isn’t volleyball.”

- it’s when oikawa groans a “moooom” in response that you start to feel those pesky butterflies

- oikawa will run up to you after games and just hold you tightly (he tells himself that it’s because his fan club and the team are watching, but really it’s because he can’t thank you enough for being there because he just plays better when you’re watching)

- my god, dUDE . he has no idea that he loves you like . MAN .

- mattsun, makki, and iwaizumi always tease oikawa about how you’re so much cooler than him

- oikawa whines to you and says, “y/n-channn they’re being mean again!”

- “what do you want me to do about it?”

- oikawa pouts like the baby he is and says, “kiss,” while pointing to his cheek. you give in and a round of groans comes from mattsun and makki. oikawa looks so smug and those pesky stomach feelings come back. iwaizumi is smiling to himself.

- speaking of iwaizumi

- you two become best friends after he finds you looking dejected as you wait for oikawa to get out of practice. you confided with him about how your relationship was all pretend. you might have also told him that you may be teensy bit in love with his captain

- iwaizumi tells you that, “there are some things you just ... can’t fake. the way that shithead looks at you is one of them. trust me.”

- he also tells you that his suspicion that you and oikawa had this weird spark was what kept him from ever reciprocating your feelings and why he rejected you (oikawa literally tried being your wingman before by texting iwaizumi things like “did you see how pretty y/n was today? don’t you think she was pretty?” and “iwa-chan! y/n is so funny and that’s coming from me, so she really is funny! i think maybe you should talk to her to see what i’m talking about (≧◡≦)”)

- at this point everyone knows that you’re in love with oikawa for real (except for oikawa himself)

- everyone also knows that oikawa’s fallen for you (except for oikawa himself, and you because you refuse to believe it)

- the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to have but still choose to have anyway

- you’re making milk bread and he’s helping to measure the ingredients when he turns around to see you covered in flour and he just kinda stops

- and he realizes

- like yeah he’s been getting that small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months

- but now he finally realizes it’s because he’s in love with you

- he’s staring for a long time and for a second you think he’s going to make fun of your flour-coated self, but he’s staring at you with that look and you’re confused

- “everything okay? is there something wrong? did you mess up the measurements?”

- then an idea hits him

- “something’s wrong. it’s kind of embarassing though.”

- “what is it?”

- “no but it’s really embarrassing.”

- “what .. what is it?”

- cue cheeky little grin. “i think i might’ve fallen in love with my fake girlfriend. i don’t have another flower to ask her out though. i hope she doesn’t say no.”

- you kiss him for the first time then and take pride in the fact that you get him covered in flour in the process

KUROO.

- it happened the second day that you were at the tokyo training camp

- kuroo was with bokuto and a few of the karasuno first-years when bokuto started telling the first-years that kuroo had a girlfriend because he saw kuroo helping you carry your bags the day before (listen . this man is like . clueless when it comes to emotions sometimes i’msosorry)

- kuroo got this confused look on his face because he thought he would remember getting a girlfriend. “i do?”

- “don’t you? remember the girl you were holding hands with yesterday?”

- this was all some big misunderstanding

- so basically what happened was this: you’re shinzen’s team manager and you were tasked with carrying bags of equipment to the training center. kuroo was waiting for kenma to finish talking with lev (more like trying to avoid though lmao) and noticed that you were struggling so he came over to help

- kuroo figured that bokuto must’ve seen him holding the bags for you and assumed that something must’ve been going on (or maybe he looked over for the split second when kuroo held your hand in order to transfer the bags to his hand)

- he was about to clear things up when lo and behold, you walked into the gym

- “kuroo look! it’s your girlfriend! hey, come join us!”

- bless bokuto’s soul. bless that poor, oblivious soul.

- you walked up to them and looked at kuroo like “what??”

- you remembered him from the day before, but you didn’t remember ever agreeing to being his girlfriend of any sort

- he smiled apologetically at you and asked to talk to you on the side

- “what’s going on? why did he call me your .. girlfriend?”

- “look i’m sorry, bo’s a little … i don’t know. he saw me carrying your bags yesterday and assumed. i’ll clear things up, don’t worry.”

- when you two headed back to where bokuto is standing, it was obvious that kuroo’s smooth-sailing explanation wasn’t happening anytime soon

- because lev was there, and so was yaku

- “KUROO-SENPAI? THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? SHE’S VERY PRETTY SENPAI!” (bless lev’s soul too. another part of the extremely oblivious club.)

- yaku took no hesitation in teasing kuroo. “since when does kuroo ever get any girl to like him? this is new. no offense, of course.”

- kuroo tried clearing up the air by saying, “guys- listen this has all been som-“

- hinata doesn’t let him finish either lmao “YOU’RE THE TEAM MANAGER FOR SHINZEN!” (extremely oblivious club member number 3 here)

- “a team manager, kuroo? what’d you do to get her to say yes? is she a chemistry nerd too?”

- “bo-“

- they kinda just went like that back and forth, and kuroo kept getting interrupted

- you were just laughing to the side because it was kind of funny

- you also kinda felt bad for kuroo because damn his friends had like no faith in his romantic skills at all??

- maybe that was what made you say it, but after his friends were done teasing him you said, “he’s kind of a catch though, don’t you think? nerdy and funny is a girl’s dream isn’t that what they say?”

- kuroo blinked at you because what??

- once kuroo got you alone by asking you to take a walk outside of the gym, he asked, “so … what does this make us?” (surprise, surprise, he never got the chance to tell them about the misunderstanding)

- you just shrugged because really how bad could this be? “i felt bad at how much they were teasing you, so we could keep up the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the week. it shouldn’t be too bad. plus it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to tell your friends that you didn’t actually get a girlfriend.”

- you guys did pretty good for the week of the training camp

- you’d cheer him on in secret if he got a spike or a block during a practice game while simultaneously still watching shinzen’s game

- you two walked around the halls when bokuto was watching just to keep up pretenses

- you learned that he’s a major nerd during these walks, which you found really endearing

- on the last day of camp, he tried to throw pieces of broccoli in your mouth (he didn’t stop until he finally got it in after his 9th try)

- you guys initially planned to “break up” after the camp was over

- but here comes bokuto again

- “hey y/n! kuroo, akaashi, and i were gonna go out for karaoke tomorrow if you wanna join.”

- you grew to like bokuto too so you said you’d come

- it was actually a really fun night

- you and kuroo sang a duet together

- he also stole some of your ramen

- you took a video of bokuto as he serenaded akaashi

- when you guys are leaving to go home, bokuto goes “you two are so cute. y/n do me a favor and don’t break up with kuroo until after the qualifiers would you? i wanna play him at his full game.” (again. seriously, he basically is the greatest accidental wingman ever)

- “we can’t break his heart, can we?”

- “no, we can’t.”

- and so your fake relationship starts

- you don’t get to visit each other often because you don’t live in the same vicinity, but you guys text often (it’s a friend thing, you both swear to yourselves)

- on weekends when kuroo’s not spending time with kenma, he’ll ask you to meet him at a park or a cafe (you two always send selfies to bokuto during every date)

- dates with him are always really fun because he’s spontaneous and also very active so sometimes he’ll take you by the hand and just drag you places

- he is not afraid to smear different colors of ice cream on your nose and call you some obscure name from some really old movie that he may have watched that week

- he also makes you push him on the swings

- the little kids get mad because what is this rooster man doing taking up a swing when he’s so old

- you laugh at him when the kids eventually come up to him and ask if they can use the swing

- dates will usually last the whole day because you’re both fine with just walking around and randomly finding stuff to do

- with all that time spent talking, you two also get to know each other really well

- like basically your life stories

- it took him a while to open up and at first he insists that you tell your story first, but after a while you notice how he starts letting little things about his life slip here and there until he starts telling you bigger portions

- you also get really close with kenma

- not close close the way him and kuroo are, but kenma would probably see you as his second closest friend

- that’s why sometimes kenma tags along with you guys (it doesn’t feel like third wheeling or anything because both you and kuroo enjoy kenma’s presence as much as each other’s)

- eventually, once you two got the hang of it, you’re like the couple that everyone likes

- because you’re both pretty funny and overall just have nice vibes

- his team starts to call you mom and dad as a joke because sometimes when shinzen doesn’t have practice, you’ll stop by at nekoma at the end of practice just to say hi

- they’re not wrong about the mom and dad thing though (it’s a really cute dynamic though i swear)

- your team used to not like him at first because they were protective of you, but eventually they reluctantly warmed up to him

- they threatened to demolish him if he hurt you though

- LMAO ANYWAYS .. MOVING ON

- you guys have lots of study dates too!!

- since you’re both busy because of volleyball related things, a lot of your schedule lines up with each other (this also means that kuroo knows when you haven’t had time to study)

- you’ll be sitting on his bed on your stomach with your legs draped across his thighs as you read your textbook and he’ll be sitting against his bed frame reading one of his assigned readings (i also like to think that kuroo has glasses for these readings that only you and kenma have seen)

- sometimes, when you finish studying before he finishes, you’ll come up behind him and just start to play with his hair

- his hair is actually really soft despite looking like a bird built its nest in it

- you also have two of his jackets that are just lying around your house

- he likes when you wear them because he thinks you look so cute (he doesn’t tell you that though)

- after a while, it’s like both of you have forgotten that this was all a ruse just so bokuto wouldn’t get heartbroken after you two break up

- at this point, kuroo has learned all your quirks, habits, and has also memorized your schedule

- like … he doesn’t realize that he’s fallen for you until someone points it out

- he realizes he’s fallen for you on the day that shinzen loses in the tournament (this would be your last match)

- now nekoma just played a game, but kuroo’s first instinct is to check whether or not shinzen won (he’s been doing this for every game in the tournament)

- when he sees that you lost, he knows that you’ll be sad and in need of a pick me up

- as kenma and him are packing up, he says, “shinzen lost today. i probably can’t make it to your house tonight. y/n will probably want to go out with her team for a bit, but she’ll probably crash at my place. do you think i should make her a strawberry cake? or maybe she’ll want onigiri? no, she’ll probably want the cake. she always gets the little smile with her one dimple whenever she eats my strawberry cake. makes me proud.”

- kenma’s just looking at kuroo with arched eyebrows because HIS BEST FRIEND IS WHIPPED

- kuroo doesn’t get why kenma’s looking at him like that because he thinks about things like that all the time. “what??”

- oh kenma knows your relationship is fake

- so he just looks at kuroo and says, “try to refrain getting down on one knee today. i doubt you have a ring, and i’ll bet that y/n will want a confession of you being hopelessly, madly in love with her before you propose by the way.”

- kuroo kind of freezes and blinks at him.

- “wh … what?”

- “kuro, do i really need to spell out for you that you’re totally smitten with her? you have been for a while now.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- “have not.”

- “yes, you have.”

- at this point, kuroo knows that kenma’s onto something, but kuroo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions until he sees you again

- when you knock on his door and run straight into his arms that night, he knows kenma’s right

- like you’re balling into his chest and he gets that feeling that he wants to hold you forever and never let go

- and he knows. he knows.

- after you start to calm down, he offers you the cake that he made just for you

- he swears that he feels ten times lighter after he sees that exact smile with the exact dimple on your face

- now kuroo may be loud, and rambunctious at times, but when he loves, it’s quiet, simple, but not any less there

- as you finish eating the cake, kuroo notices that there’s a few pink crumbs on your lips

- and he kisses you

- like a “slow, hand on the cheek, nose touching after he pulls away” kind of kiss

- “i made a realization today. kenma told me to hold back on proposing, so i’ll go with confessing instead.”

- you’re looking up at him with your heart beating hard in your chest

- “i think you might’ve made me fall in love with you.”

sorry if there are any mistakes lmao i tried catching all of them but ... 6k words ...... yanno. .....

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Eight)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 10.7k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) mentions of sex, someone gets punched by someone,

Notes: Enjoy this chapter guys:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr

© taestefully-in-luv

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room you are in is as cold and empty as you feel. The one single table with 3 chairs, 2 on one side and the one you are currently occupying across from them. The room feels chilling like ghosts haunt it. Maybe they do, you think. The silence is truly deafening and the wait for these 2 other chairs to be filled makes you anxious. It’s been a few months since you have been back here and it makes you uncomfortable each time but you know little by little you are receiving answers.

Finally, after a long wait the heavy door to the room screeches open. And in comes a man and woman in professional clothing—he in a suit and the woman in a dress suit. They smile at you awkwardly like they feel pity. They both pull out their chair and take a seat.

“Have you found it yet? The island?” you’re quick to blurt out and they nervously look at one another before frowning.

“It isn’t that easy unfortunately Miss y/l/n. We’ve been in search of this company for over 50 years.” The woman taps her fingers on the table. “We have yet to find them or this island you speak of.”

You can’t help the scoff that escapes you as you roll your eyes to the side.

“What kind of intel agency is this? You can’t even find some lame ass fucking love company.” You spit out.

The man hardens his eyes at you as he takes a long, deep breath. Obviously trying to gather his patience.

“Here’s what we do know.” He begins. “They tapped your home, your cell, all of your accounts and spied on you for over a year. Doing their…” he pauses, biting his lip. “Research…”

“And drugged you and your parents the night of the kidnapping.” The woman picks up where he left off, “And then they drugged you again to return you home and also your parents…assuming so it wasn’t to wake them while they were in your home…” she gulps…she understands how invasive this all is.

“You didn’t think to set up cameras around my parent’s house? For when they would return me? You didn’t think to keep an eye—”

“We did.” The man clears his throat, “But they….” He drags his hand down his tired face, “This company is smart. They obviously know what they are doing. The night of your return the cameras we had set up miraculously stopped working.”

You can’t help the laughter that erupts from your body. You begin shaking your head in disbelief, your laughter dying when you realize how serious this is.

“This is fucking bullshit.” You say with a tight lip smile. “Anyway…do you…do you guys…did you look into what I asked of you?” your eyes slide to the side as you nervously pull at the ends of your hair.

“The man you were with? Kim Taehyung…yes, we looked into it. We have been working with Korea’s intel in hopes to solve this case. He has been working together with them. I cannot release any personal information though.” The woman eyes her partner and her frown deepens. “Miss y/l/n…I know this is difficult and you two have been through a lot together. But I am sure you can find a way to reach out—”

“I just wanted to know how he is doing is all.” You cut her off, “It’s fine.”

~~~~~

You stare at the letter in your hands, it’s an off white color and the font in quite fancy. Your parents let you see it a few weeks after you returned home but every night you take it in your hands and stare at it. Not knowing how to take it. The company sent it to them the day you disappeared…explaining the company’s goals. They sent photos of you and Taehyung every week to prove you were alive and well. Your parents said this is what kept them sane…trusting you were okay because they couldn’t—wouldn’t accept any other reality.

Your heart aches thinking of what your parents must have been through but not just them…your sister found out through your mom and dad about the situation and she grew so worried without you. When she found out you were returned home she immediately came to you, sobbing in your arms and hasn’t left you since.

You set the letter down and pick up the pile of photos on your night stand…it’s a thick stack. You begin shuffling through them and you feel like someone has stabbed you in the chest with a dull knife and they begin to carve your heart out. It’s slow and painful…they finally take your slow beating heart and squeeze it in their hands, blood spilling and spilling. Killing you.

Some photos are just of you but majority you are accompanied by Taehyung and seeing his smiling face makes you relieve the experience of getting your heart carved out of your chest.

You glance up at your ceiling as tears begin building in your eyes, you try to blink them back, your eyes opening and closing repeatedly. But it’s no use, not when you feel this lost and hopeless. Suddenly, there is knocking on your bedroom door and your father is walking in.

“Ready sweetie? Got the rest of your things?” He steps into the room, a worried expression on his face but he tries to hide it behind a forced smile. “We should get going.”

You quickly sniffle and nod your head, shoving the stack of photos and letter into your backpack before you’re swinging it over your shoulders.

“Yup, ready.”

It’s moving day. Thankfully you found another job in your old town that you lived in, you found a new, better apartment that is close to where you use to live, you finally are getting out of your parents hair.

“Alright let’s get this show on the road!” your dad pats you on the back as you walk past him. He’s got the truck loaded and ready to go for the couple hour drive. Back to the city!

~

“This place is so much nicer than your last!” Your sister sets a box down on your new kitchen counter, “You actually have a decent sized kitchen! Not that you really cook.” She laughs.

“Hey!” you whine, “I told you I learned quite a bit of cooking while on the island.”

“You also told me that your boyfriend cooked a lot too…so I’ll just assume he did all the work.” She teases and your face falls.

“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Your lips curls so far down that it’s almost comical but alas, it is not because you feel your eyes sting.

“Sorry…” your sister walks to the living room, joining you. She reaches for the box in your arms and sets it down on the floor. “y/n…just message him.”

“…I can’t.” you feel your chest start to burn, “The way things got left…I don’t know how to speak to him.” you admit. “and it’s been so long. If he hasn’t already moved on then he at least hates my guts.”

“Yeah I probably would too.” Your sister nods her head and you swat her arm.

“Thanks Ellie.” You deadpan. “Anyway, I just can’t.”

“He is probably waiting for you…he loves you.”

“You don’t know him?” you laugh quietly, “So how would you know?”

“I’ve seen the pictures of you two, in the moment pictures, and dude, he looks so taken with you in every single one.”

You can’t help the way your heart drops to your stomach. You told him you thought your feeling may not be real…those are some of your last words to him and that kills you. Without a doubt he has had to have moved on from you…why would he torture himself?

~

Later that night you are snuggled up in your bed with your sister snoozing beside you. You have your phone (Damn you missed this device) and are scrolling through Taehyung’s Instagram. You notice he posted a new group photo just 4 hours ago. You look at all the tags and see all his friends…Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, Jimin and Jungkook. But there are also a few girls in the photo. You notice the tag for Hana. You hate that your heart completely stops beating in your chest then suddenly starts racing. Hana. He’s hanging out with Hana? Wait, why are you surprised? You take a deep breath and click her name to view her page and then that’s when your heart really stops. Her most recent photo is of her and Taehyung, their faces smooshed together with wide smiles on their faces with the caption “Missed you.” With pink hearts.

She’s pretty. Really fucking pretty. No wonder Taehyung liked her. Liked? Or likes? Are they together now? They look awfully close. You feel your eyes sting for the millionth time this day and they begin to bubble with tears. This is your fault. You pushed him away, so far away, into another woman’s arms. You start to feel lost and hopeless again…you decide stalking Taehyung through social media probably isn’t the healthiest thing for you or your heart. You continue scrolling on Hana’s page…she has lots of photos with friends, pretty Korean scenery, selfies and more. She looks lively and beautiful, oh so fucking beautiful.

You exit the app and click your phone off. You squeeze your eyes shut and a few pathetic tears that you do not deserve slide out and down your face. You really need to move on, you really need to focus on you. But how can you when a huge part of you feels like it’s been ripped from you? Taehyung was a part of you and you think he still is. You feel crushed, fucking crushed. He is probably with Hana now and you absolutely cannot blame him.

Taehyung is doing fine. Just fine. With or without you. And that reality is setting in and it hurts. It fucking hurts. But you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Why are you doing this, huh? Things were so perfect.” He stops in front of you and pulls you up by the arms. Your chests almost touch from how close you are. “Unless…” he looks down at his feet, “You’re saying all of this because that’s how you feel. You’re the one unsure of your feelings. You’re the one who only likes me—loves me—because there’s no one else.” He looks into your eyes, searching for an answer.

“Maybe.” You finally say. And you wish you didn’t because Taehyung releases a shaky breath and his brows crease together as he forms the saddest smile you have ever seen. The canvas of his life is full of beautiful bright colors but you continue to splatter blue and grey paint all over it. The paint mixes together and drips down, a gloomy mess.

“Oh.” He steps back. “I see.” He takes another step back, carding his fingers through his hair. He looks into your eyes as his gloss over, “I’ll leave you alone then.” And he turns around and walks out of the room, leaving you behind.

Why does this scene replay in your mind every single day. Every single night. His sad, sad expression leaving an ever lasting imprint in your mind. You feel broken, but you also feel angry. How dare the company send you back when you and Taehyung have so much to resolve? What is the purpose? What are their intentions? You ball the sheets in your hands as you release breath after frustrated breath. What was the point of all this? Somewhere deep in your gut you feel like this isn’t over. You feel like the company still has some ties to you…you can’t explain it…just a gut feeling.

To say you hate yourself is an understatement. You truly can’t stand to even look yourself in the mirror. You ruined the best thing that has ever happened to you—Taehyung. But you should be happy, right? He’s doing well. He has his friends, his family, Hana. He is absolutely 100% doing just fine and you have to accept that.

~~~~~

“You can’t live like this dude.” Namjoon throws a trash bag on to Taehyung’s bed, signaling him to use it.

“Yeah…Joon is right.” Jimin starts picking up some trash off the floor…mostly empty food containers. “This is getting out of hand. I know things haven’t been easy—”

Jimin is cut off with Taehyung groaning loudly and dramatically. He lifts his head off his pillow, his face evident with sleep as he eyes his two friends in his apartment.

“Get up.” Namjoon lightly kicks the bed with his foot, “And open a damn window or something.”

“And maybe take a shower. You reek of this hangover I am sure you have…” Jimin sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand going to Taehyung’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “She isn’t coming around Tae.” Jimin says as softly as possible, “She isn’t—”

“We don’t know that.” Taehyung cuts him off, grumbling. “She could.”

“You said it yourself, she isn’t sure of her feelings…why aren’t you letting it go?” Namjoon sits down on the bed as well.

“I know her.” Taehyung begins to sit up from his place in bed, his hand flying up to his pounding head. “Fuck. I’m hungover.” He complains.

“You went too hard last night.” Jimin frowns, “Again.”

“So what? You think she lied to you? That she does love you?”

“She was just scared.” Taehyung whispers. “Trust me, I know her.” He repeats again.

Jimin and Namjoon share a look of pity mixed with concern. Jimin stands from the bed, taking the trash bag with him, he opens it up and starts filling it with the garbage around the apartment. Taehyung just watches Jimin clean up and he starts to feel a sense of guilt. Maybe he has been a handful the last few months.

Taehyung is trying his best though.

The unfamiliar bed along with the unfamiliar room was indication enough that Taehyung was in a place without you. It only took him halves of seconds to realize he was in his parents’ home in their spare room. A place he didn’t frequent very often. But he understood his situation right away. The island returned him home to Korea but suddenly this place feels like the last place like home.

When he made his existence known to his mother and father they cried over and over for their son. His father going on about his regrets, how he wishes he would have supported Taehyung more in following his own dreams and so on. His mother wishing she had cooked his favorite meal more often. They basically took his disappearance on the island as his death. At least that’s how Taehyung sees it.

His parents’ received the letter as well, even the photographs. They know all about you. They know that Taehyung is in love, they know Taehyung heart aches. They know everything. They were honestly rooting for you two…they could see how much love went on between the two of you even through pictures.

But as the days went on, as the weeks went on and as the months went on, Taehyung started to feel like he is withering away with every day that passed that you did not reach out to him. Did your time on the island with him mean nothing to you? Even if you ‘maybe’ weren’t in love with him like you claimed you were still friends for god’s sake. You still without a doubt had a powerful connection.

Things have been hard. Really fucking hard. But nothing is harder than the day when the Korean intel agency notified him that you were good, that you were okay. That you were home. But they could not release any personal information. You were home…you were okay…but you still have not reached out? He’s relieved you’re well but that also comes with the disappointment that you are choosing to stay to yourself.

“Yoongi wants to work on that new song tonight, what do you say?” Namjoon stands from the bed as well and makes his way into the small kitchen for a glass of water.

“Not in the mood.” Taehyung mumbles underneath his breath.

“Listen Taehyung…” Namjoon walks back into the room, his hands crossed over his chest as he looks at Taehyung with narrowed eyes.

“If you’re serious about this, being with her, that is. Then fucking do something about it.” Namjoon continues to stare down at him while Jimin keeps cleaning.

“I don’t have her number, I can’t find her anywhere on the internet and I barely know where she lives. What the fuck can I do?” Taehyung grits out, raising his voice just the slightest as he talks.

“….There has to be something.” Jimin speaks up. “A clue.”

“A fucking clue? What are we? Fucking detectives?” Taehyung throws his hands up, frustrated.

“Jimin’s right.” Namjoon uncrosses his arms and runs a hand through his hair, “She must have mentioned something, anything. You have to think.”

“You think I have the mental capability to think right now?” Taehyung questions with a bitter chuckle. “She doesn’t do much. She never mentioned some grand event she goes to every year, she didn’t mention what school she went to, she didn’t mention what company she worked for, she didn’t fucking mention anything. She stays to herself.” Then Taehyung’s eyes go wide.

“You know I use to go to this coffee place almost every single day. I miss it. That routine. It’s called ------------…a small, family owned shop. Only one of its kind. I would read, write, journal. Just relax. Every day.” You breathe out, missing your comfort spot.

Taehyung rushes to stand from the bed, he is quick to scoop Jimin up in his arms and place a dramatic kiss to his cheek.

“Jimin you fucking genius!” Taehyung suddenly remembered the night you had a panic attack. When you calmed down enough to speak you told him all the things you missed about your real life. Including some coffee place you would frequent on the regular. But he cannot remember the name of it for the life of him.

“What? What?” Jimin starts giggling, “Why?”

“A coffee shop! She used to go to a coffee shop!” Taehyung basically yells in excitement.

“Okay, what’s it called?” Namjoon smiles and immediately Taehyung expression turns sour.

“I…I don’t remember. But it was family owned, only one of its kind.”

Namjoon can’t help the frown that decorates his face but then he tries to smile.

“Better start doing your research lover boy.”

~

“Cozy Coffee. It’s in (Your city).” Taehyung slams a sheet of paper onto the bar top in front of Namjoon. “I found it.”

“What’d you find?” Jin asks from besides him, “Wait that place y/n goes to?”

Taehyung nods his head quickly with a wide ass smile adoring his face.

“Yup.”

“Now what, kid?” Yoongi brings his beer to his lips as he takes a generous sip. “You going to call that place and ask for her?” he laughs a little.

“No.” Taehyung straightens his back as he speaks. “I’m going there.”

“You’re…” Hobi begins but stops when he sees how serious Taehyung is.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jungkook starts shaking his head. “This girl—”

“y/n.” Taehyung snaps.

“Right…” Jungkook gulps. “y/n…she ignores you these last 6 months and you are still trying to be with her?”

All of the boys share looks with one another, frowns on everyone’s faces.

“Jungkook is right—”

“Tae told her he would do whatever it takes…he also believes in her feelings. So let’s believe in him.” Jimin cuts in, his hand going to Taehyung’s shoulder and giving him a smile.

“Jimin is right…” Namjoon breathes out, “Let’s trust in our Taehyungie.”

“But don’t forget what she did to you Taehyung.” Jungkook whispers seriously. “You weren’t okay…”

Another day passes and still, nothing from you. Taehyung brings yet another bottle of soju to his mouth as he starts downing it. He feels his world collapsing around him. He feels how everything around him is cracking and breaking apart. But the most cracked, broken thing is him. He looks at himself in the mirror and stares into his empty eyes, these same eyes that used to gaze at you. These same eyes that saw your smile, laugh, cry. These same eyes that undressed you. These same eyes that saw you coming undone over and over. These same eyes.

Taehyung chugs back his drink, his eyes never leaving his reflection as he finishes the bottle. He made a mistake tonight, a drunken mistake but a mistake nonetheless. He slept with Hana. Taehyung, the boys and Hana and her girlfriends were all at the bar tonight and he just doesn’t see her that way. Yet, he was inside her just an hour ago. He slowly closes his eyes, regret and guilt filling his entire being. What the fuck did he do?

His life is all over the place, a mess, if you will. A big, fat messy mess. He got a new apartment, leaving his parents’ house and he doesn’t think he has cleaned it even once since moving in. He drowns in alcohol, he drowns in unfinished songs, he drowns in his friends concerns and mostly? He drowns in you.

He stares at your photographs an unhealthy amount. He has cried over your photos countless times, he has touched himself to them too. Somehow that is more satisfying than the sex he just shared with Hana. The empty fuck he just gave her haunts him in this very mirror. Did he betray you? Have you also fucked someone new? Have you moved on?

Taehyung stares at himself, hating what he sees. You’re doing this to him. He went from being miserably depressed to angry. He’s beginning to blame you for everything with rage. But as much as he wants to hate you—he does want to—he just can’t. He can’t gather that type of energy in your direction. He just can’t.

Hana looks very pretty tonight…she’s been trying extra hard lately, Taehyung thinks. She is always casually got a hand on his arm, she always finds a way to be standing next to him, talking to him, leaning into him. Taehyung isn’t stupid. She wants him still. She apparently dated during the 8 months he was gone but nothing serious came from it. And now here she is, sleeping on his bed as he drinks by himself in his bathroom mirror.

So many different thoughts have gone through Taehyung’s head. Is he hard to love? That’s the main question that came out of all of this. You spent every day with him for 8 months and you weren’t even sure of your feelings. Shouldn’t a person know by then? He’s trying to be understanding…he is trying so fucking hard to understand but how can he? When he is balls deep in love with you and he doesn’t have to question it at all.

He is spiraling, he is being sucked into a darkness that he can’t crawl out of. He looks at himself in the mirror again, his eyes narrowing at his own reflection—disgusted with what he sees. He grips the empty bottle of soju as he feels his eyes wet with tears. He grips on to the bottle harder and harder, tears now leaving his big brown eyes. He growls out, groaning in frustration as he lifts the bottle up and throws it at his mirror. Glass shattering everywhere.

Startled, Hana jumps from the bed and rushes to the loud sound, finding Taehyung just standing lifeless, continuing to eye himself in the broken mirror. He likes what he sees much better. The cracked glass making for a better reflection, a more accurate representation of what he truly sees when he views himself.

“What the fuck?!” Hana yells out, rushing to Taehyungs side. “Are you okay???”

Taehyung walks closer to the mirror and lightly slides his hand down the cracked mirror, his fingers careful not to get cut.

“No.” he answers honestly and quietly. “I’m not.”

“I’m fine, Jungkook.” Taehyung assures him, “At least I will be…when I see her.”

“What if she doesn’t want to see you?” Yoongi says quietly, worried for his friend. He brings his beer to the bar top and stares at the liquid.

“I’ll get to that when I get to that.” Taehyung sighs out…”I can’t let go of this until I know for sure.”

~~~~~~

Settling into your new job has been smooth, thankfully. It’s only been a few weeks but you can say you really like it. Your boss is an older woman, your coworkers seem nice and the work isn’t too taxing. Your apartment is starting to come together as well, only a few more boxes left to unpack. On the outside things are honestly going well…your life looks normal and put together. But on the inside you continue to fall apart.

“Come on!” Ellie whines, “Just give me one little, tiny, juicy detail.”

“Ew, no!” you laugh, “I have nothing to share!”

“Oh, bullshit.” Ellie takes a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke the other direction.

You two are sitting on your balcony, watching the evening sun set.

“You are trying to tell me you two didn’t fuck? Not even once?” Ellie gives you a knowing smile and you can’t help but laugh.

“Okay maybe once.”

“I call bullshit again.” Ellie starts to laugh, thrusting her hips forward theatrically, “I bet you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”

“Something like that.” You admit shyly.

“I don’t blame you. He looks so hot.” Ellie takes another puff of her cigarette. “What was he like in bed?”

“Ugh, Ellie.” You groan, “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Afraid of getting horny thinking about it?” She chuckles and you roll your eyes.

“Fine, I’ll tell you one thing.” You hold one finger up, giving her a look that says you are serious. Ellie giggles, nodding her head in agreement.

“He’s…big.” You basically whisper.

“He’s what?”

“Shut up, you heard me.” You laugh, “First time I saw it he wasn’t even fully hard and I was impressed.” You smirk, feeling proud of Taehyung’s gorgeous dick.

“Damn girl. Nice.” Ellie nods in approval, “Did he know how to use it?”

“Ugh….yes.” you roll your eyes back, remembering the feel of his cock. “He did. Aaaannnd he is probably using it on his new girlfriend.” You sigh, feeling your heart break piece by piece in your chest.

“What? What do you mean???” Ellie puts her cigarette out in the ash tray, “New girlfriend?”

“Yeah.” You keep it short and simple. “Anyway, I really do not want to talk about him anymore.”

“…Yeah, okay. Sorry.”

You give your sister a sad, small smile and she returns it. You feel your phone buzz in your lap and you go to pick it up, you quite literally feel all the color drain from your face. Your heart stops completely. What the actual fuck? Why is he texting you? Him of all people?

~

Finally gathering the courage to buy his plane ticket, Taehyung begins packing for his trip. He got a roundtrip flight for one week. He has one week to find you. He’s starting to get nervous, really fucking nervous. He had all this confidence to do this but honestly? Over the last 6-7 months he has become quite insecure. You left him in shambles. He grew weak without you, he grew pathetic in his eyes.

“Make sure you bring plenty of underwear.” Jimin teases, helping Taehyung pack. “You never pack enough and somehow end up going commando.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Taehyung is too nervous to even joke around, he is too nervous to even look at Jimin—his best friend—for more than a second because he is afraid he is going to see right through him.

“You’re nervous.” Jimin blurts out and Taehyung opens his mouth in shock. But should he be? Jimin is his best friend, he can read him like a book.

“Yeah…”

“I think you have every right to be.” Jimin pats him on the shoulder, “You have been through a lot…and so much is unknown.”

“Yeah….” Taehyung agrees, “I feel like I’m walking into this blind.”

“You kind of are.” Jimin admits quietly. “You kind of are.”

“Do you think…I’m making a mistake?” Taehyung sits down on his bed, messing with the blanket between his fingers.

“No.” Jimin answers honestly. “I am probably the one who has heard about y/n the most. I almost feel like I know her.” Jimin laughs, “And I think you’re right. She was scared. This company…fuck that company by the way, this company set you two up and tried to force love on you. Of course that’s going to fuck her up. Of course she is going to have her doubts…you can’t blame her Tae. Yeah, it’s fucked up she hasn’t reached out at all but dude…it’s a tricky situation.”

“I know…” Taehyung’s head falls into his hands, “Fuck…I know.”

“And…” Jimin sits down next to him, “I don’t want you to regret not looking for her, it sucks that it’s you doing everything, I can admit that. I wish she would grow some fucking balls and talk to you but looks like you got to do all the work buddy.”

“Yeah.”

~

Taehyung checks into some dingy hotel downtown in the city you live, the place is dark, gritty even. But it’s just one of the first places that was affordable that popped up when he was googling places to stay. He doesn’t totally mind, he doubts he will be spending much time in here. He receives his key from the girl at the front desk, she eyes him up and down, obviously liking what she sees.

Taehyung walks down a dark hallway to reach his room—he’s starting to feel like the main character in a horror movie. He reaches his door and unlocks it, opening it and shuffling inside with his luggage. The room smells dusty, the bed is small and the blanket thin. The room is loud with the AC unit blowing freezing air and the dark curtains don’t let in any light whatsoever.

He sets his luggage down on the carpet and sits on the bed…he takes his phone out and sends a text to his group chat that he made it alive.

Namjoon 4:02pm

Good luck man, we’re rooting for you.

Jungkook 4:02pm

Fingers crossed homie

Jin 4:03pm

Bring her back to Korea

Yoongi 4:03pm

He can’t just bring her back Jin

Hobi 4:03pm

I also vote he brings her back with him

Jimin 4:04pm

I agree, I want to meet the infamous y/n

Taehyung 4:04pm

Am I also allowed to vote that I want to bring her back with me?

Taehyung quietly laughs to himself as he clicks his phone off. He lays back on the bed and groans when he feels how hard the mattress is. But it doesn’t matter because he is here on a mission, a mission to find you and he wants to waste no time.

~

Day 1:

Taehyung wakes up early to grab a bite to eat at the diner next to the hotel, this place doesn’t even offer complimentary breakfast! The audacity. He orders pancakes but they definitely aren’t as good as yours.

Waking up and breathing the same city air you’re breathing makes Taehyung for the first time in 6 months—feel alive. Like being in the same place as you is slowly helping him regain some of his self back. He knows you are here. You live here. You walk these streets, you eat these foods, you breathe this air. The same fucking air he is breathing.

Nothing excites him and makes him more nauseas. He misses you. He wants to see you. But he is afraid at the same time. He’s so fucking terrified. How will you react? Are you okay? Do you really not love him? Have you moved on? Seeing someone new? His mind races as he cuts into these pancakes.

Taehyung pulls out his phone and checks the time…almost 7 am. He needs to hurry to the coffee place…because what if you stop by there on your way to work? Or maybe you don’t work right now and you go there just to chill? He doesn’t know but he knows he won’t miss a chance to see you.

Taehyung finishes up his plate of food and pays. He leaves the diner and starts walking towards Cozy Coffee, only a 15 minute walk. He inhales deeply, hoping to somehow get a whiff of you, he looks at all the flowers on the side of the sidewalks and thinks of you. Would you be interested in a bouquet of flowers? He recalls on your first unofficial first date he gave you a handful of flowers from the island and you liked it. Ugh, what is he thinking? All he needs to be worried about right now is fucking finding you.

Finally, Taehyung makes his way inside Cozy Coffee. It’s a pretty small place but big enough for a handful of people to be occupying the many tables. His eyes scan the area but they don’t come across you. He sighs and heads towards the counter to order a tea and take a seat at a table in the back near the restrooms.

He spends hours here in this spot. The entire day actually. No sign of you. And the owner has to literally escort him out when it is closing time. He walks back to the hotel with his head hanging low, he guesses today wasn’t a day for reading or writing.

Day 2:

These pancakes aren’t bad actually, not the second time around. Yours are still better, of course but he’s getting use to them. Maybe tomorrow he should try something different.

Taehyung walks leisurely towards the coffee shop, he somehow has this idea he might run into you on the street or something. But he doesn’t.

The coffee shop is a little less busy today, Taehyung goes inside, orders his tea and occupies the same table as yesterday. He pulls his backpack to his lap and brings out a notebook and pen, he decides he will work on song lyrics today.

Hours and hours pass, tea after tea is drank and still, no sign of you. Closing time approaches and he is once again, asked to leave. Taehyung nods in understanding, gathers his belongings and walks back to the hotel. Slowly of course, because deep down he thinks he just might run into you.

Day 3:

French toast today…not as good as the pancakes but still, pretty good. He wonders if you can make French toast? You never mentioned it. Taehyung realizes there is still so much he does not know about you. The thought kind of drives him crazy. He wants to know you. Know all of you. Know you better than anyone else.

The walk to the coffee shop is slow and enjoyable. The scenery is pretty as he strolls on the sidewalk, the flowers poking through the cement bring him a small level of joy for the day. Once he enters the shop, the owner gives him a smile. He orders his tea and makes his way to the back table, pulls out his notebook and starts writing his song lyrics.

On my pillow. Can’t get me tired. Sharing my fragile truth. That I hope the door is still open. Cause the window. Opened one time with you and me. Now my forever is falling down. Wondering if you’d want me now.

Taehyung sets his pen down taking a break from writing, he reaches for his tea and takes a few sips. The liquid has gone cold. He sighs out and lets the hours pass him by. Closing time approaches like it does every night and he is asked to leave.

Day 4:

He’s back to getting pancakes. He likes to pretend they are yours, that you made them for him. He likes to imagine a life where you make breakfast for him again. He likes to imagine a life where you’re just here again. It’s almost 7 am, he needs to head to the coffee shop. He strolls casually, wondering what you are up to on this Thursday morning. Are you finally going to make an appearance at Cozy Coffee? Are you running late for work? Are you in early today?

Taehyung enters the shop and the owner gives him a sweet smile and begins working on his tea. Taehyung feels grateful that it’s being made without him even ordering it yet, a smile adorning his face. He pays for the tea and makes his way to the his table, pulls out his notebook and continues working on his song.

I’m wondering are you my best friend? Feels like a river’s rushing through my mind. I wanna ask you if this is all just in my head. My heart is pounding tonight, I wonder if you are too good to be true. And would it be alright if I pulled you closer.

Taehyung lets hours and hours pass, his pen busy on his notebook paper. The lyrics coming to him so easily for the first time in months. He can’t help the sad smile that grows on his face as he reads and rereads his song lyrics.

Just like every day when the bell of the front door jingles his head shoots up to see who it is. Now is no different. A woman comes in and his heart almost stops because she looks like you at first glance. Taehyung groans at the disappointment. Because it’s not you.

Day 5:

Okay, he is back to French toast. It’s starting to grow on him, he definitely wants to ask you to make this for him. His imagination begins to run wild with dreams of making food with you again, kissing the side of your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind you. Like the many times he has done it.

“Taehyung…” you whine as he nips your neck with his teeth. “I’m trying to concentrate on this recipe.”

“I’m trying to concentrate too.” Taehyung smirks against your soft skin, “On you.”

You can’t help the blush that begins spreading across your cheeks, his fingers dig into your hips and you moan out.

“Taehyung…”

“What is it baby?” he starts kissing your neck. “Want me to fuck you? Right here?” he digs his fingers deeper into your hips and you start grinding against him.

“Couch.” You breathe out. “I want to ride you.”

“Oh? You want to be in control? Maybe I will allow it this once.” He teases, his tongue licking a strip up to your ear, then he nibbles on the lobe.

Taehyung finds his pants getting tight as he recalls his memories with you. He misses kissing you, he misses touching you, he misses your scent, he misses your skin, your eyes, your lips.

Shit, it’s past 7. He needs to hurry to Cozy’s.

He’s seated in his spot with his tea and notebook out, he swears he is almost finished with this song…the chorus needs some work but he thinks he’s got it. Something about being ships in the night, but somehow he doesn’t have the courage to finish he song, he doesn’t want that to be his relationship with you.

Night time comes and still no sign of you. Tomorrow is his last day and he is starting to freak out. Where are you? He thought you came here all the time? Why aren’t you coming? Are you okay? He is asked to leave once again and he does.

Day 6:

Back to pancakes. Back to strolling on the side walk. Back to Cozy’s. Back to his tea. Back to his spot.

Taehyung feels the nerves in his body multiplying with every shaky breath he takes. Today is the last night, his flight is in the morning and he has made no progress on finding you. This place being his only hint.

“Excuse me…” Taehyung walks up to the counter and greets the owner.

“What can I do for you young man? Another tea?” he softly smiles at Taehyung but Taehyung shakes his head.

“I have a question…” he begins. “Do you know y/n y/l/n?”

“y/n???” the old man begins to smile after expressing his confusion, “Of course I do, that girl has been coming here for years.” He starts wiping down the counter with a rag. “Why? You looking for her? You aren’t some creepy ex-boyfriend are you?”

“No, no.” Taehyung laughs. “But I am looking for her…she usually comes here right?” he nervously chuckles.

“Usually. But she started a new job recently that has kept her a little busy…” the old man continues to wipe down the counter. “But she was in just last week! And It’s Saturday!” he cheers, “She always comes to write on weekends.”

Taehyung lights up at that. “Really??” he shows the old man a wide, boxy grin. He feels like he hasn’t smiled like that in what seems like forever. All because there is finally a chance he might see you.

“Oh…” The old man stops wiping to get a good look at Taehyung. “You look like a man in love.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen just a bit before he smiles, “Do I?”

The shop is busy today. Taehyung sits in his usual spot, writing and doodling in his notebook, his head lifting up quickly every time the door jingles. It’s never you though. It is already 6pm and there is still no sign on you and Taehyung hates that he is starting to lose hope. Are you not coming? He doesn’t have much time left.

Taehyung sits here, his pen between his lips as he thinks about you. He thinks about the first time he saw you…he really thought you were some girl he might have drunkenly hooked up with…he remembers your expression, how shocked, how scared, how overwhelmed you were. He wishes now he could go back in time and hug you. Tell you he’s with you, together. That you aren’t alone. Taehyung wishes he could kiss your temple, bring you in close and make you feel okay. He recalls the first time you two really interacted.

“We need to find out what’s going on.” Taehyung takes a deep breath, lifting his head up. He locks his eyes with yours again but you break contact to look at your feet.

“We don’t know anything…would if it’s not safe?” you quietly try to reason.

“Exactly, we don’t know anything and that’s a problem. You don’t expect us to stay in this room forever, do you?”

He has a point and you know it. You want to follow him out of this room but your feet seem to be glued to the floor.

“Well, no. But—”

“Didn’t think so.” He turns away from you, his body shuffling towards the bedrooms door but before he can become out of reach your hand flies to his shirt sleeve, tugging it softly.

“Wait! Just hold on—” Your voice wavers and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Rolls his fucking eyes at you!

“Listen, come. Or don’t. I don’t really care.” Taehyung releases your hold on his shirt, unsticking your fingers and throwing your hand towards your body. “Decide.” He states before swiftly turning around to head towards the door.

Oh. So this guy is a fucking asshole. Noted.

You end up following him because although he was rude about it, feeling someone’s touch when you feel so scared was slightly comforting and yes, you are aware of how fucking pathetic that is.

Taehyung stands in front of the door, his hand reaching for the knob when he turns his head to say, “Just trust me.”

And now you are the one rolling your eyes. Trust him? You just met the dude! 10 minutes ago his name was Future Murderer. How could you possibly trust this asshole?

“How can I trust you? I literally just met you.” The scowl on your face deepens when he smirks.

“Are you always such a fucking baby?”

“Are you always such a fucking baby?” you mock, eyes rolling so far into the back of your head.

Taehyung can’t help but chuckle. God, you were such a brat. It’s almost 7 now…still no sign of you.

“Maybe if you weren’t always following me, they would have sent us home by now.” Taehyung states bitterly as he puts his slice of bread on top of his now made sandwich.

“I’m not following you.” You roll your eyes, “I have to eat too.”

“You can’t wait until I’m done?”

“You look pretty done to me…” You point at his sandwich and he scoffs.

“I still have to eat it.”

“Eat in your room for all I care.”

You and Taehyung are getting along just fine…maybe not swimmingly but like, fine. It’s been a couple weeks and you have mostly stayed out of one another’s way but it’s moments like this that you end up interacting.

“I think I’ll eat at the table, thanks.” He grabs his sandwich and makes his way to the dining room table, sitting down with a thump. He aggressively picks up his sandwich and takes a bite while showing you a smart ass smile.

“Fantastic,” you state, “Me too.” You finish pouring milk into your cereal bowl and set it back inside the fridge. You dramatically make your way over to the table as well, giving him a wide grin as you sit down in front of him. You slightly slam your bowl down on the table, some milk dribbling over the edge of the bowl and Taehyung snarls.

“Great, you’re making a fucking mess.”

“If you went up and ate in you room you would have no idea about this mess.”

“But you still would have made this mess?”

“Ignorance is bliss, Taehyung.”

“You’re such a…” he stops, setting his lips into a firm line and you lean your head forward, clearly curious about what you are.

“Such a…?” you blink at him repeatedly and his lips curve upward into a charming smile.

“A fucking brat.” Taehyung grabs his sandwich again and takes an obnoxious bite while grinning and you give him your best annoyed eye roll.

Taehyung continues to chuckles as he goes down memory lane…he does regret being mean to you at first but god, you truly were a fucking brat. But he laughs about it now, loving every single memory he shares with you.

The door jingles and he shoots his head up, hoping it is you. But still, just like every other fucking time—it’s not.

Taehyung groans into his notebook, feeling lost and frustrated. What’s he going to do if you don’t show? He’s trying here. Is the universe really that cruel? And suddenly the door jingles again, but he doesn’t look up, he knows it isn’t you.

“Hi Mister Jones!”

Oh. Oh. That voice. That voice belongs to you. Taehyung whips his head up and there you are. You are standing at the doors entrance with a nervous smile on your face, why are you nervous? You are wearing jeans and a oversized t shirt, a casual but cute look. And Taehyung is falling in love with you. Seeing you in the real world for the first time has him frozen in place.

“The usual?”

“Yeah.” You reply calmly, glancing at the empty table at the front of the shop. You pull a chair out and take a seat, your back to Taehyung. He is still frozen. He all of the sudden feels unprepared for this. He all of the sudden feels sick. He clenches his jaw as he watches your back. You are here, living your life without even think of him aren’t you? Taehyung swallows down his anger now. He has to. Anger won’t do him any good.

He takes long breath after long breath trying to compose himself and find his confidence to go up to you and confront you. He blinks back his growing tears of frustration and stands from his table, the chair screeching against the wooden floors.

He stands here, frozen again. What if you really do not want to see him? That this was all intentional? He starts to feel sick again. He squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to get rid of the feeling of nausea.

“Taehyung…” you whisper his name, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You think having feelings for me means that’s it? That it’s the end? Baby, it would only be the beginning.” Taehyung leans down again as he caresses your face. “I know you’re scared. I know you have trauma that you’re still getting through. I know your ex fucked you up. But I’m not him. I’m Taehyung. I’m…fuck, I don’t know. y/n, please just open your heart to me.” Taehyung looks at you with so much compassion that it physically hurts.

“I know,” your voice shakes, “I know you aren’t him, Tae.” You take his hand in yours, “I do like you.” You finally admit, shutting your eyes.

“Look at me.” Taehyung commands, “Look at me babe.”

You slowly open your eyes again, gazing into his dark ones and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer.

“I’m only looking at you.”

Taehyung quickly opens his eyes as he finds his resolve. You love him. He knows it. He feels it. You wanted him, just like how he wanted you—wants you.

He nods his head, trying to pump himself up, about to gain the courage to walk to you when the door jingles again and a man walks in. A man that immediately looks at you and smiles.

This man takes a seat across from you at the small table and Taehyung feels his heart halting in his chest. He feels himself grow warm, he feels himself grow the company of something evil, something green. He feels himself grow incredibly fucking jealous. So you do have someone. You moved on. You have someone, someone that is not him. Taehyung slowly plops back down in his chair, his mouth slightly open as he watches this man talk and smile at you.

But suddenly, Taehyung notices how tense you become. How you grip on to your purse harder and harder with every word this man speaks. He can sense you from here…something is wrong. Who is this man? Why is he making you so uncomfortable? Is this not a date? Taehyung isn’t sure what to do. He could be reading this all wrong, he could be imagining this for his own sake. He could be creating this world where you don’t love anyone but him.

But then you stand from your chair abruptly and storm out of the shop, this man desperately tries to grab for you and quickly follows after you. Taehyung stands from his chair as well, already racing towards the shops door, in search of you. He didn’t even think about it, he just acted on instinct.

“y/n!” the man calls out after you but you continue to speed walk away until you feel a hand grab at your arm. You are quick to turn around, ready to give him an earful when your face goes completely pale.

“T-Taehyung…?” you stutter out, the shock riding in waves throughout your entire body.

“I said wait baby!” The man jogs up to you and Taehyung, Taehyung releases his hold on your arm and looks between you and this man.

“Baby?” Taehyung whispers out, already feeling his heart crack inside his chest. Maybe this is just a lovers quarrel. He continues looking between you and this man and you can see the hurt plastered all over Taehyung’s face.

“No—”

“Who is this?” The man stands between you and Taehyung. “Who are you?”

“Ben, you can leave. I think I have heard enough.” You spit out and Taehyung’s eyes widen before they are narrowing at you.

“Ben…?” he asks, not even sparing Ben a glance, only focusing on you. “Why are you with him y/n?” Taehyung’s voice goes dangerously low. “I asked, why are you with him?”

“He was just—”

“I was just talking with my girl. Is that a problem?”

“Your girl?” You and Taehyung ask in unison.

“You’re fucking kidding, right y/n?” Taehyung’s face is taken over with a scowl. “There’s no fucking way you are seeing this asshole again.”

“It’s not—”

“Asshole?” Ben scoffs, “Who the fuck are you?”

Taehyung doesn’t even look Bens way as he eyes you, he stuffs his hands into his front pockets and stares at you with his hard expression.

“Answer me.” He commands. “Now.”

“Listen buddy—” Ben begins but Taehyung just a holds a hand up in front of Bens face and tilts his head at you.

“I said, now.” Taehyung finally lowers his hand, then he is feeling his body being shove backward.

“I said who the fuck are you?” Ben pushes Taehyung, his hands still on his chest at the collar of his shirt. “How do you know my girl? y/n…you been fucking other men?”

“I’m not your fucking girl Ben.” You finally snap out of your daze, “I said leave.”

Ben lets go of Taehyung shirt to face you, he walks closer and closer until his feet are practically touching your own.

“Sweetheart I said I was sorry…” Ben tries to caress your face but you smack his hand away.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You spit out, “Ever.”

Taehyung eyes the both of you with curiosity. What’s going on here? Are you with him or aren’t you? You notice Taehyung’s confused expression and move towards him to begin explaining.

“Ben is just here to explain why he did what he did…I don’t know why I agreed…but—”

“I’ve heard enough.” Taehyung stops you, he walks closer to you. “He’s bothering you?”

“I ain’t bothering anyone you fucking dick. And you never answered my question—who the fuck are—”

Your eyes are as wide as saucers and you watch the collision of Taehyung’s fist to Ben’s face. You swear you are witnessing it in slow motion, the way his fist crashes into the side of Bens jaw. The way Ben stumbles back and falls to the pavement. The way Taehyung grits his teeth as he brings his fist back to his own body. Did Taehyung just fucking punch your ex-boyfriend in the fucking face?

“She said to fucking leave.” Taehyung growls, “Now.”

“Taehyung!” you rush to his side, immediately reaching for his fist and inspecting it for any damage. You are hit with something massive…like the grandest bolt of electricity the moment your hand touches his. You try your hardest to ignore it, to ignore the fire that caught light, the raging fire that burns so wildly in your chest.

“Come. Come with me.” You say in panic, ignoring the fact that Ben lays on the concrete, probably knocked the fuck out. You hold on to Taehyung’s hand tightly as you lead him to the parking lot until you’re at your car. You hurry to let go of his hand, feeling so fucking nervous. What the hell is happening? Everything with Ben happened so fast that you haven’t even processed the fact that Taehyung is here. Here with you. In your city. In this parking lot. At your car.

“Tae—”

You stop before you can even finish his name. He looks at you with something you have never seen before. He goes to open his mouth but he stops himself, not knowing what the right thing to say is.

“I don’t know what to say anymore now that I am with you.” Taehyung finally says after a long while, his eyes are wet and his expression is troubled.

“I thought I would get here and I would tell you I am ready to make this work, that I missed you, that I love you. But now…seeing you. Really seeing you, I don’t know anymore.” He admits. “I think I am angry with you.” He says softly. “Really fucking angry.”

“Tae—”

“No.” he moves his head to the side, his eyes down at his shoes. “Let me speak. I have prepared a whole speech for you…but now, I don’t think I would mean any of the words.” He shuts his eyes, a tear escaping. “Did you go too far? Too far in hurting me?” he whispers. “Did you ruin me?”

You start breathing heavily, not knowing how to take his words. Why is he here?

“I had to fucking search for you. But did you even want to be found?” he questions you softly.

“Taehyung.” You say firmly. “I—”

“Am I a fool?” He chokes out, “A fool for doing this? Coming all the way here…sitting at this coffee place every single day waiting for you like the pathetic man that I am.” Another tear slips.

“Can I talk now?” you whisper. “Please?”

Taehyung gulps down his spit, anticipating what you might say. He gestures for you to speak and you take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out…” you begin, your chest getting tighter and tighter. “Every day that passed it got harder and harder to do it. If I’m being honest I stalked your account…” you admit with a bitter laugh, “You seemed happy. I wasn’t even sure you wanted me to reach out. Then Hana…”

“Hana?” Taehyung scrunches his brows together, “What’s Hana got to do with this?”

“You two are together aren’t you? I know, Taehyung.” You swallow hard.

Taehyung shakes his head in confusion, how do you know about Hana? You know he slept with her or?

“It was only one time.” Taehyung admits quietly…”but how do you know about that?”

“She posted you on her Instagram. I just assumed.” You say dryly, feeling a pang in your chest as you look at him. So he did get with her. You fucking knew it.

“Why are you here Taehyung?”

“I was here to tell you I love you. I want to make this work.” He says bluntly.

“Was?” you whisper and he nods.

“Now that I am here and I see you, I know I fucking love you still. But I think I’m lost and confused right now.” He admits between bated breaths. “I was so nervous to see you and to be honest looking at you now…I still feel nervous. Like, I could throw up.”

“I feel that way too.” You admit.

“You hurt me, y/n.” he steps closer to you, his gaze is dark and unwavering. “Can I forgive you?” he whispers and you choke back a sob. “Do you even love me back?...That’s also a main problem here.”

“I don’t know what to say.” You breathe out roughly, “I’m sorry for our last conversation on the island.”

“Are you?” he takes another step. “Are you really?”

“Yes, Tae…I …I…”

“You? You?” Another step.

“I was so scared, I was so confused.” You take a step back, but he continues walking towards you. “ But I was wrong.”

“Wrong about what?” he steps closer. “About that ‘maybe’ hmm?” he steps even closer until he is breathing the same zone of air as you. He reaches for your jaw with his hand and tilts your head up towards him. “I could have fucking told you that.”

“Taehyung…” you don’t mean to whimper, but you do. You fucking do. “I’m sorry. It just got so hard to talk to you but I have thought about you every second of every day.”

“Every second?” he scoffs, “Even as you were having coffee with fucking Ben?”

“It seriously isn’t what it looks like…” you rush to say, “He wouldn’t stop pestering me.”

“Tell me how you feel y/n. Right fucking now.” He roughly commands, his fingers still on your jaw.

“I—”

“I want everything, every detail. I want to know exactly what’s going on in this brain of yours.” Taehyung looks at you with hard eyes. “I want the truth.”

You scrunch your face up as you try not to cry, you feel so many overwhelming feelings all at once. You don’t know what to say. You love him. But is it that simple? “I…” You gulp.

“You?” his eyes soften just the slightest, “Just talk to me babe.” His voice loses all its edge as you begin to silently cry. His thumb wipes away your falling tears. “Just talk to me.”

“I miss you so fucking much.” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth, “You have no idea…” you sob.

“If anyone has an idea, it’s me.” He chuckles bitterly.

“I let time pass me by Tae, I regret it so much. But as the seconds ticked by I knew I was losing my window of opportunity. And before I knew it 6 months had passed.” You choke, “I am so, so sorry.” You stare into his dark eyes. “The company did me a favor.” You laugh, “They gave me you. I fell in love with you, Taehyung. I just…I’m so sorry I doubted myself, doubted you.”

Taehyung’s features soften as he listens to you, he feels himself grow weak. Especially with his fingers touching your skin. He pulls back from you and leans against your car.

“Are you still in love with me?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes.” You sniffle, wiping your face of your tears. “I think I always will be, even if you decide you hate me.”

“I wish I could hate you.” Taehyung throws his head back, “It would make this easier, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Make what easier?”

“Leaving you behind.” He says quietly, “Leaving us behind.”

Your body begins to shake as more tears escape you, you feel the heavy weight of his words fucking crush you. He wants nothing to do with you. He doesn’t want you anymore. You fucked up too badly. Taehyung watches as you sob for several minutes, his eyes never leaving your flushed face. He clicks his tongue and puts a hand on your shoulder and rubs it.

“That’s what I think I should do.” He says, “But I can’t.”

Wait, what?

“You c-can’t?”

“I love you too much. And I all my friends voted I bring you back to Korea.” He says with a small smirk.

“But you?” you cry, “You said you are leaving me?”

“I was thinking aloud. And to be honest I wanted you to suffer a bit.” He says with his dark gaze. “I wanted to punish you just a little.”

Your wide eyes narrow at him and you can’t help but cry harder. “You fucking sadist.”

“Maybe a little.” He admits with a growing sly smile. “We have a lot to talk about.” He says after a moment. “Do you want to make this work with me or not?”

“Are you serious? Even after all of this you still want to be with me?”

“We’re soulmates, baby. Or did you forget?”

“You fucking smartass.” You wipe at your face, wiping your snots on the collar of your t shirt. “But yes…I want to make this work.”

“Spend a couple weeks with me in Korea. I want to start over with you. Take things slow. I am still angry. But I fucking love you.”

“A couple weeks in Korea?” you shake your head, “I can’t take off work that long.”

“I am not going to beg you.” Taehyung warns, “But please.”

A couple weeks in Korea? With Taehyung? Meeting his family? His friends? Starting over? Going slow? Can you two really do this?

[familyfriendlyweed]

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

 Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

 it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

 Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

 for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

 in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

 a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

 Y/n answered :

 thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

 she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

  ~~~~~time skip~~~~~

  Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

 slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.  

 finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

 Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

 "hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

  a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened -  she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

[yournameoneverypage]

Confessions

Shawn x reader.

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: Drinking/drunkenness, blink and you'll miss it angst.

// * // * //

You rested your head back against the front passenger seat of Shawn’s Tesla and closed your eyes. “I drank too much.” He had picked you up from a girls' night out with your friends. You had been ready to go home before the others and Shawn had told you to never hesitate to call him if ever you should need to.

“Just don’t puke in my car,” he snickered. “We’ll be home in ten.”

You rolled your head to the side and met his eyes as he glanced at you. “You really didn’ have to come,” you said softly.

“Of course I did. I wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

“But your friends...”

Shawn had had a few of his friends over at his place that evening. He had chosen to not drink much himself, anticipating a possible call from you.

“It’s just Brian left. He crashes there all the time.”

“When am I gonna meet ’em?”

“When I’m ready to share you with them,” he smirked.

“’m yours,” you whispered, small smile on your lips, and closed your eyes again.

The thought of you being his made his heart skip.

// * // * //

Once in the elevator, you placed your hand on Shawn’s shoulder for balance and slipped off your heels. You exhaled in relief. “That’s better.”

He took your shoes in his own hand and when the elevator door opened, he said, “Hold on to me, honey.”

You bubbled, “’m not so drunk I can’t walk!”

“I beg to differ. You almost bit it getting out of the car,” he teased.

“You have good reflexes,” you said, wrapping both of your arms around his bicep as you started down the hall.

Stopping in front of your door, Shawn asked, “Where are your keys, Sweetheart?”

“In here. Somewhere,” you mumbled, letting go of him to dig through your clutch.

“Give it here. I’ll find them.” Cell, cash, credit card, dark pink tinted cherry lip balm, a-ha, keys, and, “Condoms? I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.” He smirked, trying to conceal the disappointment in his voice.

“’m not but the twins are,” you giggled.

It shouldn’t have mattered if the condoms had belonged to you. Still, Shawn found himself profoundly relieved.

Unlocking the door and stepping inside, he set your heels on the shoe rack and hung your clutch from a wall hook.

He led you to the kitchen and made you sit on one of the stools at the island. “Let’s get some food in you. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

You watched intently as Shawn cut an avocado, removed the pit, and scooped out the flesh. He mashed it and added small pinches of garlic, sea salt, and pepper and then put two slices of whole grain bread in the toaster.

“I haven’ been drunk since college... "I do stupid things when I’m drunk.”

“We all do stupid things when we’re drunk,” he chuckled, taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water.

He was about to pass it to you when you said, abruptly, “I kissed some guy at the club.”

He lost his grip on the glass. It hit the ground with a crash and shattered.

“Shit.”

“Lemme help,” you said, starting to move from the stool.

“No, you need to stay right there while I clean up. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He laid a dishtowel over the mess before retrieving a new glass and trying again. This time he successfully placed it before you, followed by a slice of avocado toast. “Eat.”

You ate dutifully while Shawn sopped up the water and swept up the glass. He found a post-it and wrote:

No bare feet in the kitchen!

He stuck it right where you would see it in the morning. He wasn’t sure if he’d gotten all the slivers.

Shawn polished off the second piece of avocado toast himself while leaning elbows and forearms on the kitchen island across from you. “Finish your water too, angel.”

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you whispered.

He smiled tenderly. “You would do the same for me. Now, come on. Time for bed.”

He followed closely behind you as you made your way to the master bedroom. It would be the first time he had been in your room; he was undeniably curious. He slipped his slides off just outside the bedroom door and crossed the threshold.

It was a stunning space. King-sized, hard maple, canopy bed, likely custom made, with matching bedroom furniture. The bed rested on a large rug which felt ridiculously plush beneath his bare feet. Above the low-rise dresser hung a 50” flat screen television.

Shawn was pulled from his perusal when he heard you apologize. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I feel guilty.”

“For what?”

“For kissing someone else.”

“You can kiss whoever you want, babe.”

“’cept you,” you sighed. “He wasn’ even a good kisser. Too sloppy. Too eager.”

“Of course he was eager. You are gorgeous. And darling, in this dress...”

“Which I can’t wait to get outta.” You reached behind you and started to unzip it.

“Whoa,” Shawn said, spinning away, flushing.

You giggled and hiccupped. “I’m not gonna get naked in fron’a you! I just need outta this damn dress! Help me!”

He stepped up behind you and moved your hair to the side.

While he slid the zipper all the way down to where it stopped at the dimples above the swell of your bottom, you confessed, "He coulda been your twin. Or maybe I jus’ saw your face in his ’cause you’re always in my head.”

Before Shawn could even digest that, your dress fell from your body to the floor. He groaned softly. You were wearing a blush colored, lace, strapless bra and matching thong panties. He looked up at the ceiling and breathed deeply. This would be an inappropriate time to get aroused, but damn if you didn’t have the most amazing body he had ever seen.

Suddenly unsteady, you swayed on your feet. You reached out to grab the bedpost, almost missing it, but Shawn was there to catch you, again.

He chuckled. “I need you to sit down so I can find you something to wear to bed without worrying about you faceplanting.”

“I should take a shower.”

“In the morning, love. I’m afraid you’ll stumble in the tub and hurt yourself.”

“I gotta’least wash my face an’ brush my teeth.”

Shawn stood beside you, holding your hair back, while you scrubbed your face pink and brushed your teeth. He then had you sit on the chair at your small vanity while he went to choose something from your dresser drawers.

He returned with a pair of white boy short underwear with rainbow hearts all over them and a white racerback tank top.

“I like these,” you said about the boy shorts. “But I don’ want this.” You handed the top back to him.

“What do you want instead?”

“Can I wear your shirt? It’ll smell like you an’ I’d really love that.” He was wearing a simple white button-down.

“You’re lucky I’m wearing a tank top underneath, and that I have a hard time saying no to you,” he chuckled, undoing the only three buttons that were fastened, slipping it from his shoulders, and handing it to you. He then waited on the other side of the door to give you privacy to change.

You exited the bathroom, thankfully seeming to be a little more stable on your feet. He bit softly on his bottom lip; he liked how you looked in his shirt.

“Come on, babe. Into bed.”

You crawled to the very middle of the mattress. He retrieved the brush from your dresser and positioned himself behind you. He gently brushed your hair out before loosely braiding it. That way, should you wake up sick, at least your hair would be out of the way.

When he had finished, you glanced back at him over your shoulder. “Do you really think I’m pretty?”

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known,” he said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“Then why don’t you want me?” you whispered.

He kissed your shoulder and breathed in the scent of your soft, warm skin mingling with the smell of himself from his shirt. His heart began thumping in his ears. You probably wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning, which made him braver than he would be otherwise.

“I want you, more than you can imagine, and that scares me,” he murmured. “You were…unexpected. You walked into my life and turned my world upside down so quickly; it’s making me question everything. I feel unbalanced around you.”

“’m sorry, I didn’mean to.”

“I wouldn’t wish it any different,” he smiled tenderly.

Shawn helped you settle under the covers and retrieved a glass of water and two ibuprofens to set on the nightstand beside the bed. He also moved a small wastebasket to within arms’ reach.

He crouched down to level himself with you and gently asked, “Do you really want to kiss me?”

You exhaled, your words almost imperceptible, “Every damn day.”

He took a deep breath. “If you remember any part of our conversation tomorrow, I’ll let you,” he promised. “Damn the consequences.”

// * // * //

@mendesblurb @benito-mi-vida

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Dear Teacher - Part 2

warnings: teacher and student relationship (The reader is between 19 and 25 years old and please don't get involved with your teachers) angst,fluff, smut (fingering, unprotected sex -Please use a condom- dirty talk)

Word count: 3342 (surely the most I have ever written)

N/A: Hey, many people were asking, so I brought you part two of dear teacher, I hope you like it.I am creating a taglist, message me if you want to be added 💖💖

Part 1

When Tom woke up on Saturday morning he was disappointed to realize that you were no longer there, for a moment he thought that maybe it had all been a dream or just his imagination playing with him, but something inside him knew that no, that the incident had really happened.

"Incident" was how Tom was referring to the whole of Friday night. It had been a bad idea, he knew, meeting you at that bar, inviting you to sit with him, kissing you, taking you to his apartment, and everything that happened after that. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.

MONDAY:

 Tom was nervous. It was the first time he had seen her since Friday and he still didn't know how to handle it.

You walked into the auditorium that morning and it seemed that fate loved to play with you as the two of your gazes met almost instantly, he swallows dryly and you blush before quickly looking away and running to your seat at the back of the room.

 "Good morning everyone" He says starting his class, everyone in the room answers him quickly.

 "Good morning Mr. Holland" Cindy, one of your students, says cheerfully "Looks like you had a great weekend" she points to a small purple spot on your neck, all the students start laughing as soon as she notices it. You sink into your chair, wanting to hide, mortified with embarrassment, remembering very well that you made that mark on Tom who was blushing in front of everyone's eyes.

"Anyway" he huffs loudly taking the students' attention back to class "I've corrected your Brontë sisters' papers, I'm happy to say that we got very good grades, but only one got a top grade, I'll give it back to you Wednesday" he says before continuing his lesson. 

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

The class passes slowly, like torture for both of them, they just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. They needed to talk about what they had done, but they were more than happy not to do that today.

"That's all for today, remember to turn in your next paper on Monday and get ready for the debate next month, see you all on Wednesday" he says to everyone as his class ends. Slowly the room starts to empty, but you can't get out as a hand grabs your wrist making you turn to see who it was.

"Y/N" Mike, the boy who had missed your date on Friday was standing there holding your hand "I just wanted to apologize again for not coming on Friday, I didn't mean to ruin your weekend kitten" he apologizes.

"It's okay, really, you didn't ruin my weekend" you answer politely.

"If you want" he says getting closer to you "We can reschedule, I promise I won't cancel this time" he gives you a conquering smile.

Tom settles back in his chair, moving his hands nervously across his lap. He didn't want to hear your conversation, but as soon as he heard no names being called he started to pay attention, he had no right to be jealous, you weren't his girl, but he hoped you wouldn't accept it, you deserved much better than that boy in front of you.

"Mike, I'm sorry, but I can't accept it" You say, trying to be polite and pulling away from him a little.

"Just a date kitten" Tom rolls his eyes from where he was sitting, did he not understand what no was?

"We better just be friends" you dismiss yourself before leaving the room.

"Girls" the idiot says before leaving the room.

TUESDAY:

Thomas only saw you once that day, talking to your friends in the hallways.

He felt your gaze on him, which made his heart beat faster, and when he returned your gaze you looked away, blushing at having been caught in the act.

As he lay in his bed that night, the memories came back, he was beginning to hate it. Avoidance and being avoided, the two of them should talk about what happened instead of pretending not to and acting like children.

WEDNESDAY:

You were pacing back and forth in the hallway, debating with yourself, trying to decide whether or not to go into that office.

This morning, as Tom walked around the room handing out corrected papers to his students, he left his paper on your desk whispering a congratulations before moving on to the next student. You saw the top grade written on the first page and a little yellow post-it note placed there saying "Meet me in my office at 18:00, please".

It was still 17:50, you could still get away from there and that conversation, but you didn't want to, as nervous as you were you knew what you needed to do. You knock on the door and open it just as you hear a "come in" coming from inside.

"You came" he says getting up from his chair and gives you a shy smile.

"You asked..."

"I didn't think you would actually come."

"I think we really should talk Mr. Holland" you says nervously looking down at her own feet so she doesn't have to face him.

"Mister Holland?" He asks "I thought i asked to call me Tom"

"I can't do that"

"I understand" His voice, there was something different in it, hurt perhaps.

A silence fills the room for a few minutes before he begins to speak.

"I'm sorry about Friday."

"Why are you apologizing?" You asks without understanding.

"I just...thought you..." He sighs walking over to stand in front of your desk, only a few steps away from you.

"I don't regret what we did" You speak as soon as you realize where your speech was going.

"No?" He finally looks directly at you.

"No, my God, I loved every part of that night" a small smile appears on his lips which fades soon after as you continue to speak "But that doesn't mean it wasn't wrong, we shouldn't have let it get to that point".

"I know it wasn't, I know...it was so wrong"

For some reason it was painful to be in that room without being able to touch him again.

"I really wish I wasn't your teacher" he walks towards you "To have met you at another time, maybe then I could have had you to myself, take you out without fear of anyone seeing us, hold your hand, kiss you" His hand caresses your face and you close your eyes leaning in to feel his touch more "I wanted so much Y/N, I wanted to make you my girl...I really like you"

"Thomas, I like you too..." You sigh, your heart aching with every word spoken "But sometimes liking isn't enough for two people to stay together."

"I know, and that's the part that hurts the most" He forehead rests against yours, both of you with your eyes closed, in-between sloshed breaths that were already mingling, Tom felt a tear run down his cheek, your mouths so close "Y/N..."

"Thomas..."

"Tom man, we are late, your brothers will kill us if we are late again" Someone says opening the door suddenly just as you and he are about to kiss. The two of you quickly walk away panting for breath trying to recover from the moment, Tom quickly wipes the tear from his face. A tall blond man that you had seen other times in the halls together with Tom looks at you not understanding anything.

"Am I interrupting something?" the blond man asks suspiciously.

"No" the two of you answer quickly.

"Harrison, this is my student, Y/N" Tom introduces the two of you, perhaps as a way to change the subject "Y/N, this is Harrison Osterfield, professor in the physics department and my best friend".

"It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Y/N" He extends his hand to greet her " I have heard Tom compliment you several times, always saying that you are the best student in your class".

"My pleasure Mr. Osterfield" you shake his hand "I think he is just exaggerating a lot, anyway, I better go, I don't want to get in the way anymore, bye" you take your things and leave the room leaving the two men alone there.

"Wait a moment" He say to Harrison before coming after you.

He holds your wrist and makes you look at him, honestly he almost didn't care anymore that the two of you were standing in the middle of the empty university hallway.

"Y/N please" he says.

"Please what?" you say hurt "Do you want me to stay here? To fight for a passion that is doomed to fail? Something that could end my life at this university or end your career?

"Don't talk like that, we can make it work" he says hurt.

"I wish I was brave enough to try, I swear I do" you let go of his hand "But I'm not, it was just one night stand sex and as much as I like you I know that the sooner we get over it and move on the better, for both of us" you turn and walk away, leaving Tom standing there alone in the hallway with his hurt.

THURSDAY:

Your heart was still hurting. Last night you collapsed on your knees as soon as you got to your dorm room and let the tears finally fall, you were lucky you didn't have a roommate so you could cry all day long without having to answer questions about why you were so bad. And you cried until your eyes hurt, screamed against your pillow until your throat burned, let the sadness leave your body until you finally gave in to tiredness and went to sleep.

Tom was no better off than you, he spent the whole dinner with your family quiet while everyone else at the table talked, he wished so much that he wasn't in love with you, he wished it really had only been one-night stands, maybe then he wouldn't feel like he could die at any moment if he didn't have you by his side.

In different places, but sharing the same pain.

FRIDAY:

Tom looked across the room at you, his eyes red and his expression sad, it looked like you had been crying all night, and you really had, he wanted to go over there and hug you and tell you that everything would be okay, but he couldn't.

If they had thought Monday's class had been torture, this was something worse. Tom gave his class trying to avoid looking in your direction, while you couldn't pay attention to anything that was being said, you just wanted to go back to your room and cry some more. It was the last class of the day so you ran to your room as soon as it was over.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

Tom was tapping his pen frantically on his desk, he should have been correcting his students' work but his mind was elsewhere and his head hurt like it was going to explode at any moment.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" Harrison asks, he was with Tom in his office and was starting to get irritated with his best friend.

"What?" Tom asks waking up from his thoughts.

"Tom you've been acting weird all fucking week, you spent the entire Wednesday dinner quiet a thing you don't often do."

"I don't know what you are talking about" he pretends to be paying attention to the papers in front of him.

"Does it have anything to do with that girl who was here?" he asks curious, Tom doesn't answer which only confirms Harrison's thoughts "Oh my god, it has everything to do with her doesn't it?".

"I really don't want to talk about it"

"You like her, that's why you're all emotional, because you can't be with her" Harrison speaks and Tom wonders when did his best friend get so good at unraveling his feelings.

"I had sex with her on Friday" Tom admits at once, his friend had already figured out pretty much everything so there was no reason to keep secrets anymore.

"WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THAT?" he practically shouts.

"Can you keep it down please, you're acting like a teenager, we passed that stage a long time ago and I don't want the whole campus to find out."

"I'm not the one acting like a teenager, you are, getting all angry and quiet over something that can easily be resolved" Harrison rolls his eyes as he states the obvious.

"She doesn't want me Harrison, she likes me, but she doesn't want me, she's scared and I can't judge her because I am too, this could destroy my teaching career and end her reputation here"

"Tom, isn't she one of the students graduating this year?" Harrison asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah"

"Dude, she's graduating in less than 5 months and you're telling me that the two of you can't keep this relationship a secret for 5 months?"

"I..." Tom hadn't stopped to think about it.

"I'm sure you two can make it work."

"What if she's not willing to try?"

"You should at least try, Holland, go out there and fight for your girl" He encourages his friend.

"I think you are right, I will do it".

"Of course I'm right" He smiles smugly "Anyway, I don't want to have to put up with your sadness any longer" He says laughing.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

It was almost midnight when you hear someone knocking on your dormitory door, you get out of bed and go to open the door.

"Thomas what are you doing here?" You ask as you see him standing outside, he walks into your dorm still without giving any explanation, you close the door and turn to see him "What kind of idiotic idea is this to come to my dorm, someone could see you here, how would we explain this?" You ask in an agitated manner.

Tom doesn't answer at first, he just looks at you, the baggy sweatshirt too big for your body, the hair tied back with a few strands falling in front of your face and the glasses on the end of your nose, and he can't resist. He walks toward you and kisses you, holding your face between his hands, his hands against your chest as you respond to his kiss, his heart beating hard in his chest and the sense of relief that he is kissing you again after what seems like the longest week of his life.

"I'm sorry" he says pulling away "I didn't come to do this, I just wanted to talk and..."

"It's okay" he fixes his glasses on his face.

"Y/N, I really like you, this is so stupid, I just... I want to try this, it's only five months until you graduate, we can make it...

"Tom" you try to interrupt him but he keeps talking non-stop.

"...to do this, I'm sure it wouldn't be easy at first and it's not the kind of relationship that's ideal or the relationship that someone like you deserves..."

"Tom" calls him again.

"But I'm willing to try, for you, for us, I want to try..." You kiss him again making him stop talking.

"I'm willing to try Tom" you say between kisses and he smiles "For us"

"I didn't think you would accept, I was already preparing myself for a no" you both laugh.

He sits down on your bed and pulls you to sit on his lap with each leg on one side of your body, he takes the glasses off your face and places them on your desk before kissing you.

"Damn, I missed that" he sighs between the kiss.

"It's literally only been a week" you say smiling.

"Really? It's felt like forever" he kisses you more intensely this time, his hands gripping your hips tightly making you move over his lap, the kisses slide down your face to your neck, you throw your head back.

"Tom" you say his name as a plea, his hands slide up your thigh squeezing you firmly.

"What do you want princess?" He asks with his head in the curve of your neck before leaving a small bite in that region.

"You, Thomas, I need you" you slowly roll over in his lap feeling his already hard length under you "please".

He smiles smugly at your response. Your sweatshirt is removed leaving you in just your panties and Tom lays you down on your bed placing his body on top of yours .

"This has been the most torturous week of my life" he removes the rest of his clothes and throws them on the floor "I couldn't get you out of my mind" he leaves a kiss on her neck exactly where he had "I thought about how I wanted to feel you again" the kisses descend to the top of her breasts and one of his hands grab her thigh wrapping her leg around his waist while the other goes down to her intimacy pulling her panties apart just enough for two fingers to touch them "That pussy is so wet, all this for me honey? "

"Yes, all for you Tom" he smiles at her answer before penetrating her with his fingers causing a quiet moan to come from her lips.

"Good girl."

"Your girl" you sigh ecstatic with pleasure.

"Fuck" Tom kisses you again, your words making him even harder than he already was "Say that again " he thrusts his fingers inside you reaching that wonderful spot inside you.

"I.Am.Your.Girl."

"My girl."

He had barely started and you were already so close, but he doesn't let you get there, teases you to the edge before stopping and doing it all over again.

"Please stop teasing me, I'm so close" you beg.

"No princess, I want you to cum around my dick" He says pulling his fingers out of you and removing your panties before turning you both over on the bed making you stand on top, he sits against the headboard as you rest your hands on his shoulders "now ride me like the good girl I know you are".

You sit on his member feeling him fill you completely, you both moan the moment you are finally together, standing still for a moment to get used to his size. Moving slowly until you finally get into a rhythm.

"So so good" he moans, his hand gripping her throat the way he remembered he had made her go crazy last time "So beautiful riding my dick" his other hand leaves a slap on her ass making her moan his name out loud as she throws her head, back rolling over in his lap .

"Tom I'm so close" you say as he gives you a push with his hips making his cock hit your G-spot, his hand making circular motions against your clit this time.

"Come to me then baby" he says and with a few more movements you are enjoying his wrist making you come next, your head falls on his shoulder and he spreads kisses down your neck as you recover from your recent orgasm.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

You were wearing your shirt now, your head lying on his chest as he stroked your hair.

"You'll still be here when I wake up, right?

"Well this is my dorm so I can't leave" you say as a joke.

"I'm serious Y/N" he says laughing.

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere" you smile fondly returning to lie on his chest closing your eyes almost falling asleep with his affection.

"Good, I don't want you to leave, I want you forever" he kisses the top of your head before falling asleep with you in his arms, no goodbyes this time.