#didn't teach me anything

[jessmalia]

Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The beach 3.05

[runawaymarbles]

There's a lot to be said about flaws in the US education system but I think some of you just weren't paying attention in class

[gaypiratepropaganda]

Izzy's apology in the finale seems to have taken some people by surprise. During the break between seasons, I tried a few times to politely bring up the fact that Izzy was technically abusing Ed. Not because I wanted anyone to stop liking him (you can like a character who's doing abuse! it's not real. who cares), but because I was worried about the reaction when season two came out. I love this show very much and I know how tumblr can get. Most importantly, I love fucked up fictional relationships and cannot abide people making these two boring. So here we go. (I also love lists)

First. Emotional abuse can occur in intimate relationships, family relationships like father and son, or in the workplace (Ed/Izzy triple threat!). Second, it has to be an ongoing thing. Someone doing one of these things once is not abuse. Abuse is a pattern of cruel and frightening behavior in order to control the victim.

(Don't feel bad if you didn't notice this stuff! It's relatively subtle and we're kind of trained to ignore and forgive it, especially from characters like Izzy. I wasn't 100% sure I was right about this either until season two confirmed it. I think a lot of people don't even know what emotional abuse is, at least where I live.)

Below are some pretty solid warning signs (this said "criteria" before but I changed it to be more accurate) for emotional abuse, followed by examples:

•Monitoring and controlling a person’s behavior, such as who they spend time with or how they spend money.

One of Izzy's main motivations in season one was trying to force Ed to act more like his image of Blackbeard. To achieve that, he bullied, belittled, and threatened Ed. He attempted to kill Stede because Ed was spending too much time with him and he felt that Stede was a bad influence.

• Threats to a person’s safety, property, or loved ones

He tried to kill Stede (Ed's loved one) or get him killed several times. Once trying to get Ed to do it himself with the doggy heaven situation, once directly with the duel, and once by calling in the navy.

He didn't directly threaten Ed's safety until episode ten, but he did seem to have Ed convinced that the crew would kill him if Izzy wasn't there to protect him and then when Ed did things he didn't like, Izzy threatened to leave. It's indirect, but has the same result: Ed felt he was unsafe unless he did what Izzy wanted.

• Isolating a person from family, friends, and acquaintances

Izzy seemed to keep Ed isolated from the crew, act as a go-between, and control their perceptions of each other to a certain extent. In the first few episodes, Ed was always shown alone in his goth cabin with Izzy as his only contact. When he started to make new friends Izzy tried to make him kill them.

After Izzy was banished, he secretly sent Ed's ex in to manipulate him and get him away from his new community. Then he got them all arrested, culminating in the deal he made with the English that would have made Ed his prisoner. Not sure that was on purpose, but it was so fucked up I had to mention it.

The bit that really got me, for some reason, was when Frenchie asked after Ed and Izzy told the crew he was sick.

• Demeaning, shaming, or humiliating a person

Izzy is often shown berating Ed and yelling at him. The way Ed reacts suggests to me that he may be used to this kind of treatment from people in general, or from Izzy in particular. He never leaves or asks him to stop, he just takes it.

• Extreme jealousy, accusations, and paranoia

He was so jealous of Ed's relationship with Stede that he got the literal military involved. His explanation to for why Ed enjoys spending time with Stede was that he has "done something to [Ed's] brain." Like, what magic powers do you think he has, Izzy?

• Making acceptance or care conditional on a person’s choices

Izzy made it very clear that he would only support Ed if he conformed to the Blackbeard persona. He also seemed to have Ed convinced that there was no way he could survive without Izzy's support.

I just realized that if you subscribe to the headcanon that Izzy acts as a sort of caretaker to Ed (I do not) then all of this is way more fucked up.

• Constant criticism, ridicule, or teasing.

In season one he criticized everything Ed did, all his plans, even while telling him to come up with more plans. He ridiculed Ed and called him names pretty often: "twat, namby-pamby, insane." Even in season two when he's doing better, most of their interactions consist of Izzy teasing and making fun of Ed for being mopey or in love.

• Refusing to allow a person to spend time alone

I didn't think of this until now, but Izzy is often around when Ed thinks he's alone. He knows about things that happen in scenes he isn't in. Izzy's always sort of lurking, though? And he does it to everyone. So I'm not sure if we should count this one.

• Thwarting a person’s professional or personal goals

He's ok about piracy related goals, but as soon as Ed tried to do something other than that he got so weird about it. "This crew is so talented, why are we even being pirates?" is what got Izzy to threaten Ed. Which is interesting because he was fine with the retirement idea before, when he thought he'd get to be captain.

• Instilling feelings of self-doubt and worthlessness 

"insane unpleasant shell of a man merely posing as blackbeard." "I should have let the English kill you. This... whatever it is you've become is a fate worse than death."

• Gaslighting: making a person question their competence and even their basic perceptual experiences.

He called Ed insane and implied that the crew would mutiny if he wasn't there to stop them. This is clearly untrue, as we were already shown that his method of "massaging the crew" consisted of calling Ed half insane and pulling Fang's beard even though Fang hates that. The fact that he calls Ed insane more than once while at the same time trying to get him to act more insane seems like basic gaslighting to me. Then again, Izzy's definition of "insanity" may be like, depression, crying, showing emotions, loneliness, and enjoying softness.

[can't find a gif of this so just imagine Ed in the gravy basket with Hornigold saying "you're worried you're insane."]

Something that wasn't on this specific list but is generally considered part of emotional abuse is manipulation: the use of indirect tactics to change someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors in an attempt to influence them for personal gain.

I think Izzy often tries to be manipulative. He's not the greatest at it, but it's the thought that counts. He manages to be surprisingly successful through persistence and repetition.

He's got Ed convinced from the first time we see them that he is useless as a captain without Izzy. That's why Ed feels like he needs him. He tells him that the only thing standing between Ed and a crew constantly on the brink of mutiny is Izzy. Then he tells him that he will leave if he can't live up to his expectations.

He has a pattern of lying to Ed or not telling him the whole truth. He threatens him directly and indirectly in an attempt to influence him and control his behavior. He wants power, whether he gets it by becoming a captain when Ed retires or by making sure Ed remains powerful by any means necessary.

this is what he was apologizing for, along with the years of being terrible to Ed before Stede came into the picture. I never expected him to admit it so clearly like that. He fed Ed's "darkness," poked at his trauma for so long because he needed Blackbeard. It was something they did together, and he enjoyed Blackbeard's dominance and cruelty.

Of course there are other things that can be part of this kind of abuse, like infantilization, silence, and harassment. There are more examples of abusive behavior from Izzy at the start of season two, especially in the scene where Ed's asking Izzy to kill him. but I am not ready to get into that right now.

Anyway, Ed and Izzy's storylines in season two only make sense to me with this in mind. Ed is recovering from not only the suicide attempts but also this fucked up situation he was in, whether he realizes it or not. Izzy learns to stop being such a shitboy and admits he was wrong. ~growth~

if you interpret their relationship differently that's obviously fine. but I think this is the most interesting interpretation, as well as what was intended. It's no fun for me when people make them both equally awful to each other. I like it better as it is in the show: Ed fighting back against Izzy's emotional abuse with physical violence, which only ends up traumatizing him further. It's such a unique and fascinating story.

[swingingthehatchetnow]

I am suffering from Art Block rn so I figured I’d do some basics ft. Richie my beloved 🫶

[fairydrowning]

"Hans Heysen" painting of his wife Selma Bartels.

[crownspeaksblog]

No because I absolutely loved watching ed fight! For 2 seasons we never saw him fight, he was always making his crew do it, even when was in full kraken mode, he just fires one shot and stands back and let them do the rest.

While in 2x08 he was killing left, right and center! He casually took out two English soldiers, UNARMED and used their rifle to choke them out, in a little rowboat, then he choked and broke someone's neck with ONE fucking hand while holding and READING stedes love letter with the other! Then later, on the beach, he was fighting two soldiers, while two more were coming at him and you can see that he already took out NINE others (yes i went back and counted!) Also when he took someone's rifle and put it on their shoulder and shot someone else.. I can't.. He's a fucking menace! A hot fucking menace!

I just think it's neat he went around slaughtering the English like they're nothing after he hallucinated stede, the love of his life, yelling for help!

[yui-hibari]

So...

While reading SVSSS it was easy to (mostly) ignore Shen Yuan's behaviour, since he has an excuse for everything. But once I took a couple of steps back, all I could think was Hey, what the fuck

For anyone agrees

[shitouttabuck]

wip wednesday

tagged by @rewritetheending @onward--upward and @alyxmastershipper 💓💓💓

i haven’t reeeeally started writing anything other than planning this out broadly because it’s very plot heavy but got a little lost thinkin about the intimacy of shaving the other day so this is from x files au in some shitty shared motel room while they’re cryptid hunting or chasing aliens idk we’ll figure it out

When he emerges, hair towelled dry and in clean clothes, Eddie frowns at him. “What?” he asks. “Promise I didn’t finish all the hot water.” “No, you just look—” Eddie gestures at Buck’s face, “—scruffier than usual.” “Oh,” Buck says, running a hand over his day-four stubble. “I forgot my razor.” “Oh,” Eddie’s face clears, “just use mine.” Buck swallows. “Um. Okay. Thanks.” Eddie nods at him and goes back to squinting at his phone, so Buck about-faces and re-enters the bathroom. It’s not a big deal, he tells himself as he foams up his face. It’s like—like sharing a hairbrush. Intimate, sure, not something you’d tend to do with people you don’t know well, but it’s not a big deal.  He wets the razor and brings it to his throat, heart hammering there so violently it feels like his Adam’s apple is trying to get out. If his hand doesn’t stop trembling he’s going to nick himself, and God, he is being absolutely fucking ridiculous. Deep breath. The razor glides over the thin skin of his throat, muscle memory even as he stares at himself in the mirror. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this every morning, using this very razor. Blade edge kissing his jaw the same way it kisses Eddie’s. Doesn’t think about Eddie doing this for him, hand holding his chin as he shaves Buck carefully, grip firm when he turns Buck’s face this way and that. Doesn’t think about Eddie kissing where the blade kissed him first.  Doesn’t think about any of that when he rinses the razor clean and slots it back into the travel mug, where Buck’s toothbrush rests against Eddie’s with such easy familiarity it’s about to spark a whole new crisis. 

tagging @try-set-me-on-fire @jeeyuns @housewifebuck @anxieteandbiscuits @forthewolves @zahlibeth @athenagranted @buckactuallys @transboybuckley @icecreampotluck @diazblunt if you have anything to share today or later!

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know if it's the religious trauma or the dead mom trauma but the conservative christian insistence on not teaching children about their bodies in school and insistence that this knowledge should be private in all circumstances with no exceptions should be seen as suspicious at best and criminally malicious at worst

[dormiloncito]

some people here (not you my beautiful esteemed mutuals) live in some sort of alternate reality. or perhaps you don't live at all bc what is this 😭😭😭

[kaurwreck]

I've seen a few posts about how if you were bookish as a kiddo, then you have an author with whom you have an irrational vendetta because of an English teacher. I keep trying to consider if I have one, but I don't think I do. I've definitely had English teachers I didn't respect, but I can't fathom taking them seriously enough to feel anything about their opinions on lit.

[raayllum]

also know it's been a hot second but beginning of next chapter of fanon s6 bc i'm behind schedule?

It was close to dawn, the sun just beginning to rise over the battlements, when Soren spied a figure coming up the castle bridge. He squinted, shielding his eyes with one hand. It wasn’t uncommon for the townspeople to come to the castle to leave messages or complaints to Ezran of their concerns, within reason, but it would be unwelcome, today of all days. Or week of all weeks, honestly. Soren moved swiftly along the wall, intending to signal to the guards manning the front to turn the stranger away, when he caught sight of their dark hair and a blue scarf flapping in the wind. For the first time since his Viren had come to the castle, Soren smiled, bright and untarnished. “Corvus!” he called down, waving.  The man jumped, glancing around and then up. He raised his hand in greeting, small and tired but smiling.  Soren ran down the stairs to meet him, picking him up in a big hug. Corvus laughed and coughed, wincing. “Easy,” he cautioned. “My ribs are still—” “Oh.” Soren sat him down and then brushed nonexistent dirt off his shoulders. “Right. Sorry. I’m just—I’m so glad you’re okay. And uh, here.” Corvus slowly smiled at him. “I’m glad to be back, too.” 

[theplantbish]

Imagine adding a source link to your post when sharing media, wouldn't that be so cute? Just a little [x], a sexy little [source]. What if I'm curious about the media you've shared and want to learn more about it? What if I want to see the entire piece of media, not just the little snippet you've shared? And you've thought of that beforehand by adding a source link? That's so sweet, kind and, dare I say, sexy of you

[arctic-hands]

My best advice to sick and disabled kids, as someone whose been sick to the point of disabilty since I was four, is to pick up a creative hobby. Learn to draw, take up knitting, learn the guitar if you're strong enough to hold one and take up ukulele if you're not. Do something that will stimulate your brain and give you the satisfaction of creation, as well as distraction.

My parents' idea of occupying my time thru appointments and infusions and hospitalizations and sick days was just piling me with books and video games. Which is fine! Great escapism, fun to do, saves you from boredom. But sometimes you don't need to escape, sometimes you need to create, and not knowing how or where to start fills you with a feeling of frustration and helplessness. Reading gave me a fantastic imagination and I created worlds in my head that I had no way of getting out to share or saving for posterity.

My parents had hobbies of their own. Mom's a fiber artist and dad's a musician, and I asked them repeatedly over my childhood to teach me what they were doing but they always waffled on it and never did. Hell I didn't even learn how to cook until I was eighteen. So I was left with books and video games and no sense of satisfaction in my ability to do anything.

I took up art in my mid twenties, mostly by watching YouTube tutorials or checking out how to draw books from the library. They say the best time to start is yesterday, but the second best time is to start is today. I don't create art every day. I have more pain and exhaustion days than I do creative days. But when I can create it feels empowering, and power is something I don't have as a disabled person.

And I'm not saying take up a creative hobby so you have something to sell to fall back financially when you're too sick to work (obvs if you want to you can, but that's not the point of this advice). Paint pictures just to hang up in your bedroom. Crochet clothes for your dog. Write songs with lyrics that only make sense to you. And if no one is willing to teach you these skills, seek out resources and basically teach yourself.

I don't know how to end this post, but I am begging every sick kid (and sick adults too, for that matter) to not just wait for your life to end, distracting yourself solely with passive hobbies like books and games that have been scripted out to have pre-determined endings decided for you. Find an outlet you can do to create, for your own sense of satisfaction if nothing else.

[slavicafire]

today and tomorrow off, and then only two days left of work. and then I am jobless and on the hunt - but most importantly, I am free of that hellhole. the only thing I am grateful for when it comes to that hellhole is a banging cv.

[thebirdandhersong]

the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon