#how scared and alone I already was being raised in this cult where everything was hush hush

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know if it's the religious trauma or the dead mom trauma but the conservative christian insistence on not teaching children about their bodies in school and insistence that this knowledge should be private in all circumstances with no exceptions should be seen as suspicious at best and criminally malicious at worst

[fanstuffrantings]

I follow some people who talk about baldurs gate 3, and the way the fandom almost largely goes out of its way to babygirl everything astarion does while refusing to give the same leniency to the far less evil characters is baffling.

I feel like Gale, Wyll, and Lae'zel are the ones who often make this the most clear. Under the cut.

Whether it's because of the glitch pre console release or just a general refusal to engage with his story, people like to paint this picture of Gale being some Narcissistic abuser who is only ever power hungry. I've seen people try and justify mystra's actions. Now even if Gale was a young adult when Mystra came to him, Mystra is his goddess. She's in charge of the weave. She had so much more power over him, student/teacher and boss/underling relationships are so looked down upon because of that inherent power imbalance. And I think there's also an implication that this is relatively normal for all versions of mystra to do to younger men.

Elminster isn't free of criticism because he actively brought a young Gale to be groomed into becoming a pawn for Mystra. Gale gets discarded by mystra for his seeming ambition and wants to move on, but is also still desperate to please her in anyway he can, and she tells him to kill himself. I don't understand how people go through his plotline and see him believing the only way he's useful is dead and then just assume he's just power hungry. Is he a bit full if himself? Yes. He's a wizard. They're like that. But he's not the worst person in the world, and he's definitely not the one people should claim as the abuser in his relationship with Mystra.

People call Wyll boring, some paint this idea of him being holier than thou/looking down on everyone around him. Since he was 17 Wyll has given his whole life to protecting people and trying to be a hero. He's self sacrificial, thrown out by his father for making a pact he only made to save the city he adores. Wyll talks so much about baldurs gate. He wants to return.

Wyll has his body altered unwillingly for doing the right thing and yet he never once regrets it. He's made into a devil, the creatures so many of the npcs and companions loathe, for his kindness. He's constantly tricked and mocked by Mizora who we know from the game was sent by Zariel to corrupt a good hearted person. Even still, Wyll is a kind and honest man. He's charming and a bit cheesy but that's fine. Wyll can be incredibly self sacrificial and stubborn in his morals, but if you're running around doing mean things to impress Astarion, you can't blame Wyll for not liking your character and judging you. He's a hero of the people, of course he'd stand with them. We also need to remember he got so heavily redone that he has barely 6 hours of in-game content now. Which is abysmal compared to everyone else.

Lae'zel was raised by a cult, a cult that spans all her people where they're taught to bow and serve a lich queen who promises them glory if they're good enough. She can be harsh and unfriendly, but we need to remember she's the one most aware of what the tadpole can do and with that in mind we know she's very desperate to get things done and cure herself. Next to astarion she's the most evil aligned origins companion, and even still so much of that is due to being brainwashed into a certain belief.

Lae'zel in canon is the youngest companion, very early 20s and it often shows. She's a skilled warrior who doesn't see the need for statements that are already obvious. She's been beaten into shape and filled with ideas that unless she's perfect as the creche commands then she is worthless. She's scared and alone in act 1 with people who most likely don't care about it the same way she does. Lae'zel is imperfect like all the other companions, but if you're willing to accept that astarion is soft under all his bluster, why can't you do the same for Lae'zel?

I don't hate Astarion, I liked him a lot my first playthrough, he was my main romance. But the way the fandom ignores that he's definitely evil in act 1 and 2 because "I just don't see him that way", how people act like he's the only character in the cast who was abused when abuse and the cycles of it are the main theme of the game, how people willfully misunderstand his ascension ending and paint it as his good one when the writers state repeatedly it's not, the way the fandom will insult and demean other characters for jabbing at astarion's trauma but applaud him when he does the same exact thing, when they ignored his racism towards gnomes and gur (which is anti Romani racism repackaged). There's also a chance that in his time, Astarion was a corrupt politician, something making his death more complicated but also adding interest to it that a lot of his fans want to ignore to make him pure.

Astarion isn't perfect, none of the companions are. And they're not supposed to be. But his special treatment by fans is becoming so incredibly tiresome to see.

[youremyheaven]

Omggg yess mercurial women slander (crazy coming from a mercurial woman but that’s how bad they be 😭). I also think k since Imm more Venusian than mercurial i really rub these girls the wrong way; like claire nakti said they’re competitive with other women.

I had the MOST DERANGED experience with a jyestha sun and revati moon chick at my old music program—I was starting to get to know this guy while I became friends with some girls, but then they met her and she created SO MUCH DRAMA and it hurt me to the core; I see women as my fellow sisters and she centered men SO MUCH. Everyone in the music program hated her but be t over backwards tolerating her and not causing trouble by checking the bitch—guess who did? 🤣

In real talk tho she is such a creep. She’s very predatory and at this point Imm not afraid to say abusive. She singled out the newcomers to the program, especially international students and younger folks like me. She would then lovebomb them, and then if she felt threatened she would treat them like shit. I didn’t stuck around fir the creepy sexual aspect because she had me pushed out before that point; I also did really mesh with the twisted mindset she had. I remember she made so many sexual comments AROUND the guy friends (one i liked but as I said before she got involved and it imploded beyond repair, she’s manipulated him to the point where he really thinks she’s mentally stable) and my former friends just followed suit. She’s also a purva phalguni asc (our synastry was fucking crazy since I’m revati sun, magha moon, purva phal jupiter conjunction said moon and jyestha 8th house—this chick was honestly obsessed with me in a baddd BAD way. I was everything she pretended to be to get approval and attention and it set off all her buttons. I scared her though because the first thing I did was talk to professors when she attacked me. I was also the only one to tell her to her face to whit causing problems because no one’s going to care about putting up with her after this place and she needs to get her issues in check now before she really fucks herself over; she was all tearing up and shit, very sad and dark person.

Also, the Venus cult cibe was totally there. She practically made a weird cult out over her friend group where she treated them like dirt; I know one girl who was also a tropical virgo moon like myself had a crush on a piano guy and this woman went out if her way to fuck him and then comforted the girl about her crush while actively hooking up with her, and that’s AFTER I was gone. She was extremely manipulative, tried to pretend she was “worried” about me because I was so “negative” and “saying things she hadn’t done to teachers”, bitch did not know I was raised by a mrigashira stellium man who I’ve already learned narcissistic abuse from. I left the music program because everyone was too much of a pussy to put her in her placd and I was outnumbered, abandoned and alone. It was very tiring. She was also a subpar singer yet had this attitude of being the best since she had the most experience—it was literally a program FILLED with beginners. At this point I want her to get her meds and I’m very worried for the people my age in her friend group—she literally makes the people around her WORSE. It’s horrific, I’ve certainly met people like her before but not so genuinely mentally unbalanced and desperate for control. Also the creepy sexual predator aspect—I almost want to report it to the college that she’s creeping on people my age (just turned 20) while she’s turning 25 this year and making out with all these kids while hanging out. I’m clearly more battle worn so not as naive and I naturally end up around older people since I’m honestly a bit more grizzled for my age (won’t say mature I’m literally just traumatized) but she really picks kids who don’t have a clue and pretty much traumabonds with them, abuses anyone who makes her feel slightly insecure, and puts her sexual energy all over the place. Literally while know when she is disrespecting boundaries. She makes me sick honestly but I pity her because she’s deeply broken.

I’ve also noticed the pattern with jyestha where they accomplish things and then act a fool and their accomplishments insulate them…for now. I’m mainly talking on Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift; I know you think venusian asc is the root of taylor’s cult—it’s definitely jyestha as well. Both of these women are pushing their luck and hold on their power and are fucking themselves over. Jyestha takes them to the peak and then they tear themselves down. Or perhaps just inflates their pride, or takes them to their perceived place of success (music program chick was never anything and sadly she isn’t talented enough to eclipse her hideous soul) and then let them either build themselves up or dig their own grave. They really think they’re so clever cause they “got away with it”; their karma is truly only compounding in force. I feel like as a revati native i see through jyestha behavior and like…you’re stupid??? What the fuck are you doing??? Literally this has no point and you’re only hurting yourself???? They’re certainly aware they’re fucking up but not enough to know the “attacks” are the consequences for their own evils. Balanced jyesthas are cunty though. I 😍 mother naomi campbell. Unbalanced mercury women are miserable vampiric freaks with no sense of shrewdness or foresight because they get away with things initially and fool themselves and more susceptible people. Idiots, honestly.

I think one of my childhood friends was ashlesha and she not only instigated sexual activity between all three of us but literally tried to steal from me and of course tried to make me feel small and unwanted (like dirt basically). They can’t take it when they’re met with balanced, genuine people. I showed nothing but love to these women initially and they dragged me through shit in thanks. They don’t know how to accept real love because of all the shit we tend to go through and it’s very sad but as a ketu native I AM a psychopath as we all know and I don’t care 😭 stop hurting people and embarrassing yourself you fucking freaks 💀 I’m speaking from the trenches girls you need to STAND UP and GET RIGHT WITH GOD. Fucking crazy 😭😭

💀💀💀💀💀

mercurial women competing with other women is SOOOO TRU in my experience, my toxic abusive "friend" only ever felt good about herself when I wasn't doing well lol , ,, like she literally had the most sinister ass smile

[crazedmetalhead]

Eddie Head cannons/ character analysis

Is this gonna be me projecting onto a fictional character; yes, yes it is. This is just my opinion of what I think Eddie would be like as someone who grew up in a trailer park, with a lot of the conditions that the fandom assumes Eddie went through in his childhood. For context, there will be dark themes, don't like, don't read. THIS IS MY OPPINION (sorry if it makes no sense)

Okay so there has been some discourse in the community about whether Eddie would be a softie or a hard-ass, and I raise a middle ground. I feel like Eddie would seem like a hard-ass, hell, he'd act rough and shit around his friends, and he's loud, he wears leather and chains, I can see where you're coming from, and I also see where people get that he's a softie, from his interactions with Chrissy. I think you're both right, let me explain. "Eddie's always amped up," to me, this means that he's always on guard, he's been hurt before, this man grew up between truck stops and tin cans. The way I see it is he was always, poor, never knew any luxury. He probably grew up in a trailer with his sick mom and abusive dad, he was probably moved around a lot after his mom died, maybe his dad was a part of organized crime or something, which is why he knows how to hotwire a car. He's terrified of getting hurt again, yet expects it so he puts up a tough guy act, but deep down he wants to be good, he wants to protect those he loves. There's also the discourse about Lucas and as a Dungeon Master, I can tell you, if one of my party members last minute cancelled on us, the day of the session, especially a big one, to hang out with people who are known bullies.... I'd also be pissed off, I'd think, "Fuck he's really fraternizing with the enemy," and I would also get a substitute player. Campaigns take months to plan, that session for cult of Vecna alone probably took at least two weeks of planning and Eddie had to buy everything for it, D&D figures are not cheap either so if he planned it down to the player, which many of us do, that'd be infuriating. I think that all the supplies for that game today would run at over $120.00 which for a super senior living in his uncle's trailer and dealing drugs to get by, is a hell of a lot of money. Also, every single other person in the party agreed that that day was okay, and so did Lucas at the time, postponing would screw everyone over, it's literally how every D&D group runs, at the end of the session you all work out the next time you can meet. It's a really high-pressure hobby to be a Dungeon Master because it's not just making the game and improv, it's also managing everyone else's schedules. It can be stressful as hell. Especially with a party of that size. I feel his reaction was pretty valid as someone who has had that happen.

With Chrissy he was soft, yes, that's because he saw how scared she was, Eddie isn't the sort to kick somebody when they're down and wouldn't try and freak her out when she's already practically shaking with anxiety, and sure, he may have had a little crush on her- he has eyes. I think when she says she thought he'd be mean and scary it's not only because he's loud and wears mean looking clothes, I think there is valid reasons, as some of you say, but I think he has his reasons to act that way. He probably got into a lot of fist fights, that's just how the highschool hierarchy works, but I don't think he'd have started it. I believe Eddie is a firm believer of, "I don't start shit, but I will finish it," as well as, "Fuck around and find out," and I feel like a lot of people fucked around and had their asses handed to them. Also, being called the freak all your life is eventually grating on you and eventually you put yourself in that box before other people can, which usually includes wild hair, loud rants, hissing at people you don't like and a mean case of resting bitch face. Also, I raise to you, when I went to a new school, before I even dressed alt, people thought I'd be mean and scary simply because of my resting bitch face, so even without fist fights people would find Eddie intimidating. That being said, I feel like Eddie Munson is an onion of many layers, and if you break through those walls, he is a major softy, malleable butter in your hands. He'd at first be confused by the love you give him, suspicious that it's a prank, but when he trusts you, he trusts you with his life and it's hard to get it back if you shatter it. He definitely holds the doors for strangers, especially girls, he opens the car door and walks on the outside of the sidewalk, Wayne taught him how to treat a lady and he follows those rules. That's all, this is just my oppinion.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 7

Y/n meets her savior and officially joins the investigation. 

@deadman-inc-bikeshop @viviace and @dovahdokren here you go. If you want to be on the tag list, send me a DM. 

Trigger warnings: dissociation, implied sex abuse/trafficking, discussions of death, drugs

It was only when the man left your line of sight that your senses started to return. And even then, you felt like you were on a separate plane of existence from everything happening around you. You were floating, completely numb to your surroundings, letting the world push you wherever it needed you to be.

You weren't entirely sure how you made it from the dumpsters to the FBI headquarters, but there you were.

You listened in on the conversation happening in the other room. From what you could tell, the man who saved you was arguing with his boss.

"Because if there's so much as a Tylenol in her system, you're going to pass it off to the DEA." The man said, his voice soft but firm. This wasn't the first time they had this argument and it showed.

"Will, it is not my fault that the DEA gets preferential treatment." The boss sounded exhausted. "We have a better chance of catching this man with their resources. And we can't turn a blind eye to how substances affect human behavior. I thought you of all people would accept this."

"What if there's nothing in her system?" The man posited. "Then all we have to work with is our own resources. Would that be so bad?"

"Look," the boss said, clearly trying to diffuse the situation. "We can't determine anything until forensics gets lab results back tomorrow. For now, see what you can find out from the waitress. She was able to keep her talking, maybe we can find out about what."

The man resignedly left the room and made his way to you. You glanced around the hallway, hoping he wouldn't notice that you've been eavesdropping.

He sat on the opposite end of the bench. You pulled the security blanket from the ambulance tighter around your shoulders.

"I know this is such a stupid, insensitive thing to ask," the man broke the silence. "But are you okay?"

"If it makes you feel any better," you sighed and dropped your shoulders. "I wasn't really okay to begin with."

"Yeah." The man agreed. "It doesn't matter how much you break something, it's still broken. Broken is a... Boolean value."

"It's just that.." You clutched the receipt between your fingers. "Just as I thought things were starting to improve, the universe sends me a cultist strapped to a bomb. I'm never going to recover from this."

"I don't think anyone expects you to." He said. "My name's Will, by the way."

"[F/N]." You said, just for formality's sake. He already knew your name. "I don't think I ever properly thanked you for saving my life."

"Don't worry about it." Will smiled weakly. "If you think you can, though, it would be innumerably helpful if you told us what happened."

You knew you weren't in a position to be asking for favors, but you were desperate. "Could I maybe stay with you for a while?"

Will hovered his hand over yours as if asking for permission. You took it, perhaps a little too eagerly.

"I'll stay with you as long as you want."

Will's presence made it easier to tell the man, whom you learned was the head of the Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI, everything that progressed that night.

"And then she started chanting that one bible verse about the martyrs inheriting the kingdom of heaven." You finished. "That was when Will shot her in the leg."

The director, whose name you learned was Jack Crawford, took a moment to ponder the information. You felt like a child that had been sent to the principal's office.

"Do you have any reason to believe that the woman was under the influence of any drugs? Alcohol?" Jack asked, resting his hands on the desk.

"Not with any certainty, no. I didn't see her ingest anything." You shook your head. "If she was under any influence at all, it was probably against her will."

"What makes you say that?" Jack cocked his head. "In your own time, of course."

"She was..." you glanced at Will, just to remind yourself that he was there. "Scared. Nothing she said had any conviction behind it. It was like she was a hostage being forced to read a fake suicide letter."

"What about these 'cult names' you mentioned?" Jack said. "What significance do you think they have?"

"She kept referring to Chase as 'vanguard'." You began.

"That's what Keith Raniere called himself." Jack interrupted. "Keith Raniere was the head of a sex trafficking cult."

"And the only reason I know that is because I listen to a lot of podcasts." You felt the need to explain. "I'm not sure how Mulvaney decided it would be a fitting title. Maybe he identified with Raniere."

"Did the woman call herself something, too?" Jack leaned in.

"Funny you should mention that," You forced a laugh. "Because she referred to herself as an 'unwoman'."

"That is interesting." Jack brought his hand to his temple, perhaps trying to convince you that he knew what ‘unwoman’ meant.

"He probably thinks Handmaid's Tale is some kind of instruction manual." You said, emphasizing the title of the work. 

“Handmaid’s Tale!” Jack exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "So, are you thinking maybe he's running a breeding cult?"

“Like a borrasca.” You turned to Will, hoping that maybe he would understand what that meant.

As if on cue, a woman in a lab coat burst into the room. 

“Dr. Katz,” Jack announced, taken aback by her urgency. “Welcome.” 

“Jack, you’re going to want to see this.” Dr. Katz said simply. 

Jack stood up from his seat. “Excuse me, Ms. [L/N], Will. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

Again, you were alone with Will. 

“I’m...” Will broke the silence, pausing to find the right words. “Jack isn’t as scary as he looks. He just has a habit of asking too much of people. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re perfectly within your rights to tell him to back off.” 

You shook your head. “That wouldn’t feel right.”

“Tell me about it.” Will muttered and leaned back in his chair. “It does seem pretty out of character for him to want to drop the whole case on the DEA, but he does have a point about their resources. You can’t argue with money.” 

“No.” You agreed. “You can’t.” 

Will sighed. “I’m sorry. The last thing you probably want to hear about is FBI in-fighting after almost being killed twice in a two-week period.”

“It doesn’t really inspire confidence, no.” You said. 

“Let’s talk about something else.” He offered. “Do you like... fishing?” 

You laughed at his strange attempt at making conversation, but answered honestly. “I used to go fishing with my grandpa when I was a kid.” 

Realizing he’d tapped into a happy memory, Will decided to follow it. “Where did he take you?” 

“My grandparents had this lake house up in Michigan.” You reminisced. “On this dinky little manmade lake where all the rich boomers took their spoiled grandkids for the summer.” 

“Did you ever catch anything?” He shared a little smile.

You realized that he was doing the same thing to you that you did to the unwoman. He was trying to keep you talking to avoid, or at least prolong, some catastrophic event. But he was doing it for your sake. You appreciated that. 

“We pulled up a ton of bluegills, some walleyes, occasionally a bass.” You listed. “One time he and his brother-in-law settled a dispute by seeing who could catch a catfish first. They were outside all day.” 

“Did he ever take you downstate to go fishing on Lake Erie?” 

You stared vacantly ahead. “He wanted to.” 

Will lowered his head in respect. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It was, like, fourteen years ago.” You admitted. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Still,” Will shrugged. “Grief takes a lot out of you. I’m sorry for bringing it up, I had no idea.”

“At this point, most avenues in my life end in death. It’s not your fault.” You smiled at him. “Thanks for trying, though.” 

You settled into another prolonged but comfortable silence. 

“I think Jack is going to arrange to get you into some kind of protective custody, by the way.” He said, shifting his body to face you. “And I don’t think he’s going to give you a choice now that he knows Chase is targeting you, specifically.” 

“Yeah, I was thinking about that.” You answered. “I think they’re probably going to insist I quit my job, too.” 

“You sound disappointed.” Will nodded. “You’ve grown to like that job, huh?” 

“I was good at it.” You admitted. “My boss was gunning for me to take over when he retired. I had big plans for that place. I know waitressing is supposed to be a job that’s ‘just a job’ but--” 

“You had ambition.” Will finished. “You were making an investment for your future.” 

For the first time in a while, you felt heard. “Right.” 

“If you would permit me to say,” Will stood up and walked towards Jack’s desk. “I think you would be an invaluable asset to this investigation.” 

You leaned on the armrest. “I don’t know, Will. I feel like I would just get in the way.” 

“But the sooner we catch this sick fuck, the sooner you can get back to your restaurant.” He said, grabbing a post-it note. He gestured to you with a pen. “And I will do everything in my power to get you back to that restaurant.”

“Why?” You asked. “I’m just a waitress.” 

“Your profile of Chase Mulvaney in your TattleCrime interview was a work of genius.” Will took off his glasses. “And it was incendiary enough to make him come back for you. It wasn’t just a cocaine-fueled bout of murderous hysterics. He remembered you. Now, throughout this investigation, Jack has been ignoring me. But maybe he’ll listen to you.” 

“And if he doesn’t?” You raised an eyebrow. “What then?” 

Will sighed and leaned back on the desk. “Then I do it myself.” 

“Fuck it.” You said, the complete contents of your soul behind those two little words. If he was going to raise the stakes, by god you were going to match him. “I don’t have much else to live for, so might as well die for something.” 

“That’s the spirit.” Will agreed. 

[shadowfae]

We’re all pretty aware that the tumblr otherkin community is at a huge decline; I was wondering if you have any theories as to why that is?

American Protestantism, the decline of queer oppression in North America and the AIDS crisis, helicopter parenting, web 3.0, morality politics, and  Tumblr’s porn ban; roughly in that order and rolled up into one bombshell that was a few years in the coming but nobody really saw it and understood it until it was far too late.

That was a mouthful and probably only made sense if you follow current cyberpolitical theory. For some of you reading this, as with every other hot take I have this has a chance of being passed around, that alone is enough. But for others who had no idea what I just said and need the ELI5 version, let me explain that. Buckle up, this’ll be a long one, and will go into fandom history a bit as well because it is actually relevant.

As we know, tumblr is a very American-centric platform. Twitter is also this way, but less so, but tumblr has it bad. Now, I’m ‘lucky’ in the fact that I’m Canadian and a twenty minute drive from the American border, so that puts me in the ‘privileged’ majority. (I say privileged because I’m not really sure what else to call it. Most of the information going around about politics either directly affects me or indirectly affects me approximately one or two links of contact away. Someone who’s only influenced by American politics because it makes their sister’s online friends sad is not going to be privileged in that way.)

This means that American politics and their social climate overwhelmingly affects tumblr’s social climate. This also bleeds through into other fandom spaces, on twitter, instagram, and Pixiv to name a few places; but here’s where I spend the majority of my time so here’s what I’ve witnessed.

America’s main religion, as far as I understand (from the raised agnostic and currently neopagan view I have), is some weirdass capitalistic-Protestantism that is so many miles from what the actual Bible says that if I were a betting man and knew more about cults than I did, I’d say it’s some weird fucking cult and never set foot in the country again for any reason that isn’t gaming free shipping through a PO box. If you have no idea what I just said but are at least vaguely familiar with Christianity, this graphic explains it pretty well. So we can see there’s some glaring issues with that ideal.

The decline of queer oppression and the rise of queer rights in North America, which is to tenderly include my own country but we all know when people say ‘in NA’ they mean ‘America, and Canada where it applies because the right-wing Republicans are really good in the propaganda department to convince everyone that Mexico is a drug-lords-and-anarchy wasteland to the point where even I don’t actually know what’s down there other than bad drivers and heat’; means two things. One, it’s a good thing by a long shot and do not mistake this as me thinking queer oppression being lessened is a bad thing. But two, it means that thanks to the AIDS crisis, queer folks lost a lot of first-person sources as history.

The queer elders in NA who survived are typically either a) bitter anarchists who are often POC, probably still dirt poor and do recreational drugs or b) university-tenured TERFs (trans exclusionary radical feminists). Category A are the people who Republicans have deemed worthless in every way, because racism, queerphobia, ableism, and all the other ways to be wrong and different and Evil that they can’t handle, because Jeezus would never want them to actually learn to love someone who wasn’t just like them, and they don’t have the compassion to do better. Category B are the people who want to be different in just a teensie little bit, typically with TERFs they want to be lesbians, but they don’t want to challenge the status quo. They’re fine with the way things work, they just want to be on top oppressing others over ripping the whole damn thing down and building a more forgiving system.

Now, due to all those ‘isms and the cheerfully malicious aid of the Republicans, pun not intended but drives home the cruelty of it all, we also see the rise of helicopter parenting. The invention of the internet did not really help this. Basically what you’ve got is a whole bunch of parents who saw the civil rights movement, just got access to the internet and things going viral, know the world is changing, and like all parents, they’re scared for their children. Now instead of parents knowing one or two people in their classes who just went missing one day and everyone assumed they ran away, they hear about eight homicides in the city of kids going to parks at night and dying. The Satanic Panic was another event around this time that contributed to that, but I’ll let you research that one.

This means that all of these parents, instead of doing what their parents typically did and let their kids wander off for the day so long as they’re back by sundown, they can’t let their children out of their sight. There might be a freak accident where their child is decapitated on the playground swing! Their baby might get murdered by an evil Satanist walking home from school! Their dearest darling might go online and tell their address to someone who’s got a 100% chance of being a pedophile who will show up and kidnap them in the night!

…You get the idea. 

Combine those three things I just established, what we’ve got is a lot of queer kids who have a lot of internalized shame for being different and wrong, because they’re queer, and they can’t find spaces offline to be themselves, because all of the elders who would do that are dead and/or inaccessible and their parents won’t let them go to any clubs that aren’t school-related, which they’ll never find a GSA or queer club because Republicans, ‘isms, propaganda, and the war on Category A queer adults have all done their best to ensure that those spaces don’t exist.

So you have a generation of kids who I am the youngest of. The first generation on the internet. The late Web 1.0 (usenets and Geocities) and early Web 2.0 (livejournal was the big one, ff.net too, also 4chan but fuck those guys) generation. What we were taught was: trust nobody on the internet with your real info no matter how much you like them, this is a wilderness and any crimes that happen won’t be punished or seen so don’t put yourself in a position where you’re going to be the victim of one, and everything you put online is never getting taken down so don’t put anything up that you’re not willing to have on the front page of your local newspaper.

This worked out pretty well, actually! You had kids who knew that if they got in trouble, there was no backup coming to save them. Because the form that backup might take - parents and police - wasn’t going to help. Best case, they’d be banned from their friends and online support groups for being queer. Worst case, they’d be jailed and put in juvie and conversion therapy and turn to drugs and become evil Satanists just like everyone says they secretly are already. So they learned very quickly to take care of themselves. Nobody was going to save them, so they learned to not need saving.

And then, well, Web 2.0 shifted to Web 3.0. Livejournal died because parents - the Warriors for Innocence was the big name - went “gasp how horrible my children are being exposed to the evil pedos and homosexuals they’re going to do drugs and die of AIDS!”. Which is uh. It’s filled with a lot of bigotry, and I’m not excusing them - absolutely I am not - but you can kind of see where they’re coming from, if you tilt your head and squint.

Either way, LJ died, tumblr took its place, Facebook was fast taking off, and the fandom folks who had seen mailing lists go inactive, web admins take their fanfic sites down due to copyright, entire fandoms burnt to the ground in flame wars, said ‘fuck that we’re making our own place’ and that’s how AO3 got made.

That’s important. A lot of folks move to AO3, because well, the rules let them. The rules say ‘you can throw literally anything up here so long as it’s fan content and is not literally illegal, so we don’t get taken down’. It’s a swing for the first generation internet users, those kids who know this place is a wilderness and are carving out our own sanctuary.

But. The children under us. The children for whom AIDS is a nightmarish fairy tale, for whom the ghost stories are conversion therapy, for whom know they can’t really talk to their parents about being queer but can trust they probably won’t get kicked out over it. The children who haven’t spent ten seconds without supervision except online, and their reaction isn’t ‘oh thank god I’m finally free to express myself’ but ‘if I get in trouble, who will protect me?’.

And there’s nobody there. Because we went in knowing there was no backup. And that was fine. But now, the actual adults have figured out that hey uh, maybe we should make cyber laws? Maybe we should make revenge porn and grooming children over the internet crimes? And they grew up with that. They grew up learning that no, even if your parents are suffocating and controlling, they’re always be there for you! Some adult will always be there to protect you!

That isn’t the case. It’s not. But they expect it, because it’s always been done for them. They don’t really want to change the status quo, because that means doing it themselves. They can’t do that, because they don’t know how, they’ve been controlled for every single part of their lives thanks to helicopter parenting and without that control, they don’t know how to keep their lives together, and they demand someone come and control it for them, without restraining them.

Effectively, they want someone to ensure they never face the consequences of their actions. Helicopter parents will rescue you from whatever you did, because you’re their precious baby and it doesn’t matter if you punched a kid, you can do no wrong and the other kid clearly started it.

But being queer is doing wrong. Being queer is something Jeezus doesn’t approve of. So they want to make it something he could approve of! But if it’s too off what they consider to be okay, if it’s too different and weird and wrong and evil, that can’t do, that’s still bad, and they’re precious angels, and children, and minors, why are we the adults not protecting them and letting them see it? Why aren’t we being just like their parents  but queer-friendly, why aren’t we protecting the children?

The adults who taught us were the children of those who died as a result of AIDS. The eldest of my generation knew some of them personally. My therapist’s younger brother died at 20 of AIDS, and she told me what it was like. But they don’t have that. These kids of web 3.0, they don’t have that. What they have is over-controlling parents, and the expectation that someone will always be there to protect them but hopefully in ways that don’t hurt them this time, no real understanding of why Category A queer elders are the way they are, and so much internalized shame that they have to do some pretty fancy logic-leaping to keep them from collapsing entirely.

They can’t turn into Category A queer youngsters, because they don’t know how to unravel the system around them, because they’ve never had to actually make choices in their lives and live with the consequences, because they don’t have the example of how to do it. They can’t unravel their internalized shame because again, that’s hard and they don’t have their parents to take away the consequences and pain. It doesn’t come easy to them, so it may as well not come at all.

But, you ask, if Category A queer elders aren’t around to teach the kids, then how are they learning anything positive at all? Well, Category B, our university-tenured TERFs, who don’t want to change the status quo but want to just be at the top of it instead.

For a lot of kids who don’t know how to make hard choices but want to be queer, this is an extremely attractive option. But when they go online to queer spaces, a lot of them say fuck terfs, we don’t support your hate, and they go ‘yeah okay that makes sense’. They can say fuck terfs without ever actually questioning why terfs are bad. They’re Bad and Evil, just like drug addicts, just like fairytale nazis, just like the evil homophobes.

And we saw them say ‘yeah fuck terfs’ and we were like, ‘aight you got it’ and we never questioned if they actually understood us. They didn’t. They didn’t, and we didn’t do enough to fix it, because not enough of us realized the problem. So terfs got a little sneaky. They hid behind dogwhistles and easy little comments, hiding their rhetoric in queer theory that you’ll absolutely miss if you just memorize it and never actually question it and understand why that point is being made.

This goes back to America sucking, because their school system is far more focused on rote memorization over actual logic and understanding of the text. They’re engaging with queer theory the way they’ve been taught, which is memorize and don’t think, don’t question. Besides, questioning and understanding is hard. Being shown different points of view and asked what they think is not only hard but requires them to go against all of the conditioning that says to just listen and agree and never question it, which goes back to tearing the system and internalized shame down, and we’ve established they can’t do that so naturally they don’t do that.

This begets, then, the rise of exclusionary politics. They’re turning into Category B queer youngsters, because we told them ‘hey that’s a terf talking point what are you doing’ and they never questioned why. They learned you can do all sorts of things, just don’t say X, Y, or Z, because they never thought deeply about it.

The children who have grown on Web 3.0 do not want to do any heavy lifting to make things easier for themselves long-run. They want to do as little as possible and have things get better for them. There isn’t enough of us left in Category A, because Category B terfs are very good at recruiting young folks and Cat. A is overwhelming poor, dead, and easily dismissed in the system as evil and bad, so we can’t exactly convince the young folks to listen. If all of the young kids could agree to tear down the system, a lot more older folks might listen. Change always starts with the young, and there’s a reason for that.

But Republicans have figured out, if you get people fighting, they never put together a force that can actually stop you. TERFs, who want the exact same thing as Republicans but with themselves on top, are doing this to queer youth, and Cat. A elders can’t fight back because there isn’t enough of them and the odds are against them, and the young folk like me who follow their lead.

People can kinda handle gay people. It’s not so far from the acceptable normal that it’s impassable. But you want them to handle kinky people? Gay people of colour? Kinky gay people of colour? Trans people? Those are bridges too far to step across. The original idea was to get the foot in the door with marriage equality and inch our way through with racial equality, sex positivity, dismantling ableism and perisexism (forgive me if that isn’t the word for anti-intersex ‘ism), and see if we can’t patch up the system instead of inciting a civil war over this and have to tear down the system entirely.

Well, we might’ve managed that if not for AIDS being the perfect ‘Jeezus is killing all the evil gay people for being sinners’ propaganda machine. As it stands now, not a chance in hell. So long as Republicans and terfs keep everyone fighting, nobody has the power to dismantle their empire, and they stay in power.

So then, you ask me, “Lu what the fuck does that have to do with the decline of otherkinity on tumblr???” and now that you’ve got all that background knowledge, here is your answer.

Those children who want their experiences curated for them and the evil icky content they don’t like to be gone because it disgusts them and anything that disgusts them is clearly sinful problematic and should be destroyed, are what we call ‘antishippers’, or anti for short.

They like being progressive. Sort of. They learned what Republicans and terfs have honed to a fine talent: keep people fighting, hold them to a bar they have to constantly make or risk being ostracized, and harass the people who don’t play along into getting out of your sight forever. Sound familiar?

They learned of otherkinity, and particularly fictionkind, because web 3.0 means if something goes viral on one site, it doesn’t just go viral on that site, it makes it to worldwide newspapers and twitter and nobody ever, ever fucking forgets it. They realized the following: “Hey wait, if I’m this character for realsies, not only does it help me deal with the internalized shame I’ve done nothing to actually fix because that takes work, I can also tell these people who draw gross content I don’t like they’re hurting me personally, and that actually sounds credible, and I can shame them into stopping”.

If this is your first time here and that sounds sickening, it damn well should, and I am so, so sorry that any of us had to witness this, and I am more sorry I and everyone else who personally witnessed this didn’t realize what was going on and put a stop to it. I answer asks and browse the tags and clear up misinformation and it isn’t just a genuine desire to help. It’s damage control, and my own way of trying to deal with the guilt of not stopping this. I’m well aware I couldn’t have seen it coming, I was a teenager myself still learning and no one person has that much power. I still feel like I should have done more, and I’ll do what I can to fix what’s within my power to fix.

So back to the story. This all culminates around 2016 or so. Trump wins the election, and every queer person ever knows they’re fucked, and the younger generation’s only ever heard horror stories, never seen actual oppression that this could bring. We’re all scared. We all don’t know what to do. Nobody has any answers or any control over the situation.

So they lash out. They attack others for drawing things they don’t like, for challenging them in literally any way, for asking them to reconsider the vile shit they just said, for so much as defending themselves from the harassment they just got. And when challenged, they yell “But I’m a minor! A literal child! How dare you attack me, clearly you get off on this, you evil pedophile!” and they sling around every insult in the book until one sticks. Pedophile is a pretty good one, so is abuser, and sometimes zoophile works out too. Freak is great, everyone gets right pissed off about it.

The fact that Category A queer elders were called pedophiles and freaks is not a fact they know or care about. The fact that they are quickly making every fandom community super toxic is also not a fact they care about. The fact that the ‘kin community has words and terminology and they actually mean shit, and the fact that they’re spreading misinformation faster than we can keep up with, are not facts they care about.

So they come in, take our terms, make it impossible for us to find new folks. They realize our anger is easily a power trip, because we’re already made fun of, so they get off on the little power they can find and make fun of us too, and then when we get rightfully annoyed and pissed off, they can hide behind being minors.

Then tumblr implements their porn ban, because nobody’s stopping them, because it isn’t profitable to have porn on here. Considering most of the otherkin community, and most fandom communities, are full of adults who do occasionally talk about NSFW things, and the fact that they’re just banning everyone who so much as breathes wrong, this begins the start of a mass exodus, scattering already fragile communities to twitter, pillowfort, dreamwidth, and a few other places. Largely, twitter, where you can’t make a post longer than a snappy comeback and where the algorithm is literally designed to piss you off as much as possible.

So community elders have largely left, because they can’t stand the drama and the pain of what’s happened, and that’s if they didn’t get banned for being kinky furries who do talk about how their kintypes merge with their sexuality. Most community members have also left or stopped talking about being ‘kin, because they get associated with antishippers and toxicity and it’s just not worth it. Those of us who are left get drowned out by misinformation and trolls and wishkin and antishippers who appropriate our terminology because it supports them getting a power trip, and whenever we argue, we get called pedophiles and freaks and worse.

And now there isn’t much left. I hope we get to find a better place. Othercon was a good place to talk about it, I did a whole panel (it’s on Youtube!) about what we want to do about it. But I don’t really have any answers. 

But to sum it all up... America’s political climate ultimately culminated in destroying queer spaces, and we survived, and then people who wanted to destroy smaller communities to get on top showed up and we were all but defenseless against something we had never, ever dealt with before on this scale.

One of my twitter mutuals mentioned how kinning and otherkin are now completely separate communities. It’s really the best I can do to keep hoping that continues, until nobody realizes the words are at all connected to each other. It’s the best anyone can hope for, now. I hate it. I hate every part of this. But maybe we can salvage what’s left.

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Stop Running (Cordelia x Wilhemina x fem!reader x Ally)

idk what we got here, but its reeeeeeally long and made with google translate..so excuse me

summary: you have to meet the son of your girlfriends and he reminds you of ur dead brother and all the memories of ur childhood come back

warnings: suicide, depression, scars, child abuse..

Being in a relationship with 3 women at the same time was probably something like the jackpot. Before, you didn't even think you'd get one and now you had 3.

You still remembered the night these three women came into the club where you worked as a waitress. In the beginning it was just little things like saying 'please' and 'thank you' when you brought them something. Most of the people who came to this club got drunk too quickly to be polite.

Then they started asking you questions.

“What's your name?”

“How is it possible that a pretty girl like you works in a club like this?” (a question that made you blush)

“How can we get your attention?”

And at one point you gave a shit about your work and sat with them for the rest of the night. And at dawn they took you to their bed with them. You were the only sober person that evening, but the next morning none of the 3 were surprised or angry about your presence.

It had developed into a frequency, every Friday night they'd come to the club only to leave with you at the end of the night. And at some point it became more.

The trio had piqued your interest since the first night, which was probably because there were three of them and later you wanted to know everything about them. You found out that Ally was widowed with a son, that Wilhemina had her cane with scoliosis and that she had a secret fetish for the Victorian era, and that Cordelia was the headmistress of a witch's school, they all lived in.

And at some point you had to find out that you were in love with all three at once.

You loved Mina's severity and how proud she walked despite her scoliosis. No one had ever walked so gracefully with a cane, you were sure of that.

You loved seeing how gentle and balanced Delia was with everyone.

And you loved Ally when she explained the world to you and was the smartest person in the room.

The problem was that you were too scared. These women had known each other for a number of years and you had only known them for a few weeks. How many times have you wondered if you were just a distraction for her bedroom?

You were ashamed of this question and started avoiding contact with them. But when they confronted you, you finally revealed your feelings to them.

They weren't angry, on the contrary, they started laughing.

———————————

"We thought you knew that we love you too and were now afraid that you would avoid us because of that .." said Delia.

"Oh .." you mumbled confused.

"We're sorry we never made it official .." Ally said, putting a hand on your knee. "We thought it was obvious .."

-----------------------

And now you've finally been living with them for a week. You almost lived with them anyway. You knew the big building of the academy almost by heart, Delia's girls knew and liked you, and most of the time you spent in the trio's rooms instead of your own little apartment.

There was a little problem though: Oz, Ally's son.

Ally had decided it would be better if you didn't meet him until you officially lived with them. It wasn't up to you, but the circumstances were very complicated. If one mother died and you had two new ones, you didn't need a third.

The night you found out about Oz's existence, Ally had also told you the story of the Cult and how she killed Ivy.

—

"I want there to be no secrets between us. And I'm not proud of what I did, but it's part of me now .." she had said.

"We have all done things that we are not proud of .." was your reply.

—

The three of them tried to prepare Oz for you as best they could, which wasn't difficult because Oz wasn't a complicated kid. And you had been confident, because actually you got on well with children.

"Oz is in his room .." Ally said as she walked into your living room. She grabbed your hands to pull you up from the sofa before kissing you on the cheek.

Both of you were at home alone at the moment, as Delia and Mina were working afterwards.

You gave her a warm smile and together you went to the boy's room. Ally knocked on the door briefly before opening it. Her hand never left yours. A blond boy was sitting on the bed reading a comic. "Oz, this is Y / N .. I told you about her .." Ally said. The boy, Oz, raised his head and looked straight at you. Your breath caught at the sight of him.

He looks like Leo, was your first thought.

This little boy looked just like your little brother had looked that age. You got dizzy. All that you repressed in the last few years suddenly all shot back into your memory. Your abusive father, who hobbled on a stick because of his broken leg and didn't fail to punish Leo or you for anything senseless. Your alcoholic mother who drowned her frustration in alcohol and was never there when you needed her. And Leo, your Leo that you loved so much. How many times did you want to run away and stay because of him? Then this picture shot in your head, you were 17 at the time and he was 15. One day you came home and his dead body had tumbled from the ceiling by his belt. He couldn't take it anymore and you hated yourself so much that you didn't notice.

"Honey?" Ally's voice brought you back to the present. You looked away from Oz, who was now looking at you in confusion, and fixed your gaze on Ally. "I thought it would be better if I gave you some time alone .." she whispered.

"Sure ..", you nodded slowly.

She smiled and squeezed your hand. "Good .." was the last thing she said before leaving the room.

You stood lost in the boy's room, who by now was fixated on his comic again, and didn't know what to do. You wanted to run after Ally, bury you in her arms and start crying. But you knew that it probably wouldn't go down too well with Oz, so you just paused.

"She's happy again .." Oz suddenly said without looking up from his comic.

"Excuse me, what?"

"I mean mom .. she laughs a lot more .."

"Didn't she do that before?", You were confused.

"Yea .. but it always seemed so forced .. When Delia and Mina started to meet her, she felt like shit and she had to get back to normal, she was somehow sick or something like that .. I think she is happy to have someone who didn't see her as this wreck and that's why she's happy .. "

You didn't answer what he said because you couldn't judge it.

So it takes three women to replace one .. you thought and immediately hated yourself for it.

"What are you reading?" You walked slowly to the bed and sat down next to Oz.

"Avengers .." he muttered.

Inside you were relieved, at least something you knew.

"And do you like it?", You looked into the book and began to read along. "It's cool .." he said curtly and read on.

"That's Civil War .." you stated after two minutes. Confused, he looked at you sideways. "You know it?" "Of course.." He nodded shortly before looking back into the book. "Are you Team Cap or Team Iron Man?" You asked. "Although I like Iron Man more, Team Cap .. The way Shield is fighting him here sucks," Oz said and you nodded. You noticed the Iron Man movie poster hanging on his closet. "Have you seen the films?" "Nope .." he shook his head. "Mom won't let me .." "How old are you?" "11 .." "Okay well .. maybe I can talk your mom and we can watch her together .." you said.

"Are you serious? ..", he looked at you skeptically. "Yes .." you nodded. "I mean it's her choice, but I don't think the films are that dangerous you can't watch them .." "That would be cool .." he muttered, staring at the Iron Man poster.

--------------------------

"How about Oz, Y / N?" Asked Mina, who was sitting across from you. You looked up from your meal.

"Good .." you mumbled briefly

"Good ..?" She repeated before taking another sip of her red wine. Her eyes were still attached to yours.

"Yes ... I think I'll be able to make friends with him .." you added when you noticed that your answer was a bit short.

It was 10 p.m. and the four of you hadn't eaten with the other girls and Oz as usual, but only did it now because Mina had come home so late. And you had been noticeably quiet, still thinking about your Leo.

Ally put a hand on your knee under the table as she always did to calm you down. "You seemed very ..", she searched for words. "impressed? I don't know .."

"Uhm yes .. I was a little bit overstrained ..", you tried to smile at her, but you could still feel Mina's penetrating look. Like she's trying to look inside your head.

Cordelia, realizing the tense mood, let out a laugh.

"Overstrained would also fit our attitude when we met him for the first time ..", she said and threw a loving look at Mina.

"yeah?" You asked confused, because Cordelia always got on well with everyone.

"Oh yes .." she continued. "Ally had also left us alone with him and we didn't even know what to do .. I think it is already difficult for a child to accept one new person in the mother's life and then two ... it was all a little bit complicated.."

"And what did you do then?"

"We ended up playing Monopoly .." she said with a grin. You started to laugh. "Monopoly?" "Yes and in the end Mina was angry because she had lost .." You looked at Mina, who blushed. "Those were the wrong rules we were playing with .." she muttered. "You're just a bad loser, honey .." Cordelia said, still grinning.

Smiling you looked back and forth between the women. "So are you all right?" Ally asked again, drawing your attention back to herself. You nodded quickly. "yes, it's all good. Oz is great .. so he told me that you wouldn't let him watch the Marvel films .. they really aren't that bad, I think it's okay .."

"You think so?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Jesus Ally, don't feel criticized right away..I just mean that I could imagine watching them with him..you know, then this thing with befriending him might work better ..", you said and started playing with your fingers

Her eyes relaxed at your words. "I think that's no problem .."

------------------------------------

The next day you lay on the sofa, tired, trying to get some sleep. At night it was impossible: every time you closed your eyes, you saw the picture of the dead Leo in front of your eyes.

Ally was sitting at the end of the sofa with your legs in her lap, her fingers running over them, while she was reading an article on her cell phone.

An approaching knock made you flinch and your body stiffened, which Ally didn't go unnoticed. This is your father, you startled for a moment.

"Don't worry, Princess .. outside of the bedroom, Mina's walking stick is no danger for you .." Ally said to you and laughed.

She might found it funny, but her words made you scared, not that you wouldn't be interested in this type of sex ... But the thought of Mina hitting you with her stick made you feel uncomfortable.

"Oz is looking for you Y / N ..", Mina said as she entered the room and saw Ally and you on the sofa. You nodded briefly and jumped up to go to the boy. "Thanks Mina .." was the last thing you muttered before you left the room.

Oz was in his room, as expected. You knocked just before you entered. He was sitting at his desk doing homework.

"Mina said you'd look for me .." you said and stepped up to him. "Are we watching Iron Man today?" He asked without looking up from his duties. "Today?", You were surprised. Ally had given Oz permission to watch the movies with you at breakfast, but you didn't expect to start today. "Yup.." "uhm...Sure" "Cool ..", he raised his head and grinned crookedly. Leo shot through your head. "See you later Y / N .." "See you then," you mumbled and left his room.

A few hours later you were sitting next to Ally's son on the sofa and tried to concentrate on the film. Oz sat next to you, focused on the film and just made a few comments.

The whole evening was relatively relaxed until Oz put his head on your shoulder and immediately you were a 13 year old girl again and next to you was not your lover's son, but your 10 year old brother Leo. You weren't in the living room either. You sat crouched at the end of your bed, Leo next to you, his head on your shoulder. The TV had turned into a door that you and Leo are now staring at, concentrating on the voices behind it. It was your father fighting with your mother. Your heartbeat quickened immediately. You could hear his footsteps as he hobbled his stick down the hall. It became harder to breathe when you saw the doorknob move down and-

"It works better than I expected.." Ally's voice whispered and you were immediately back in the living room.

"Is everything okay?" She asked confused when she saw your distraught look. You nodded slowly. "Yes-", you stuttered. "I'm just a little surprised, I thought it would be more complicated to make friends with Leo .." "Leo?", Ally sat down on the sofa and pulled her sleeping son into her lap. "Oz ..." you corrected yourself quickly. "I have no idea how I come up with Leo .. in the film someone was called that .." "You're shaking Y / N .." Ally remarked and saw you concerned at. "I'm sorry," you looked down at your trembling hands. "I'm just very nervous about Oz I think .."

Ally smiled. "You don't have to .. you're doing great .."

------------------- -----------

The next morning the 4 of you, Oz and the other girls were having breakfast together.

"That was cool last night, Y / N .." Oz said suddenly and your attention was on him.

"I think so too ..", you smiled gently at him.

"What I can think of .." Ally remarked. "I have a meeting tonight and Mina has to work late ... so you'll be alone with Oz ..." She looked back and forth between you and Cordelia. "I'm out .." Delia said and sipped her coffee. "Misty and I are going to the greenhouse tonight .." "Oz and I can come with you..I am sure that Oz-" "Misty and I want to be there alone, Y / N .." Cordelia shot you an apologetic look.

"Oh okay ..", you looked carefully at Oz, who was too busy with his food to catch anything in your conversation. "That's not a problem for you, is it?" Ally asked. You shook your head quickly. "No.."

So the subject was off the table and Mina's eyes stabbed your skin again. Although she hadn't said anything, she was probably the one who felt your discomfort the most.

In the evening you and Oz had dinner alone and at first everything went well, you talked about the movie from the previous evening over dinner and you didn't have to think about Leo at all.

"okay .." you started and stood up. "I'll tidy up the kitchen and that's when you finish your homework .." Oz grinned. "Whoever finishes first .." he said and ran out of the room. You had to smile when you started washing the dishes. 10 minutes later Oz walked slowly into the room and you immediately noticed that something was wrong.

"What's up?" You frowned. Oz without a word took out his soccer ball and a few broken pieces from behind his back. "What's that?" You asked calmly.

"I finished my homework and was playing with the ball in the living room. The ball hit Delia's vase and it fell from the cupboard .." he whispered and looked at the broken pieces in his hand.

You stared at him and saw Leo again and wondered what your dad would have done to him now. Tears stung your eyes. "I can't do this anymore .." you sobbed and buried your face in your hands.

Oz looked up at you with wide eyes. "I'm really sorry, Y / N! It wasn't on purpose ... I-"

"Oz no-" you said quickly and crouched down to look at him directly. "I'm not mad at you .. You know, I'm even glad that the thing is broken .. To be honest, I found the vase totally hideous .." "Really?" He asked skeptically. You nodded and tried to smile. "Are you hurt?" "No .." he shook his head.

"Well ... let's clean up the mess now and please don't play with the ball in the house anymore."

---------------------------

"Something is wrong with Y / N .." you heard Ally say to Cordelia the next evening.

You actually wanted to go to them in the living room, but when you heard your name, you couldn't help but stop to hear what they said about you.

"What do you mean?" You heard Delia ask. Ally seemed to think twice about what to say. "Oz told me last night that she started crying when he told her, the vase was broken .." she finally said.

Fuck. You closed your eyes

"I would probably have cried too, I liked the vase .." joked Cordelia. Ally groaned. "That's not funny Delia .. When I walked into the living room the day before, when Oz and Y / N were watching this movie, she also looked totally scared. She was shaking and looked like she was going to cry any moment .." she said.

Delia hummed thoughtfully. "Did you ask her about it?" "She said she was so nervous about Oz, but I don't believe her .. I guess-"

"What are you doing here in the dark, princess?" Mina's lips to your ear made you jump.

"Jesus, Mina .." you cursed and turned to your girlfriend. You could see her grinning in the moonlight that shone in through the hall window. "I didn't hear you coming .."

"If you can't even hear me coming, then you must have been really distracted .." she said, sounding somehow sad. "Let's go in. Unless you want to keep staring at the door here ..", she reached past you to open the door. You gave way and pointed into the room. "Age before beauty .." you just said and made her laugh before she entered the room in front of you.

The previous conversation between Ally and Delia never seemed to have taken place because they both just sat there, Delia read a book and Ally scrolled through her cell phone.

--------------------------

"Happy Birthday, Princess ..", Cordelia whispered in your ear in the morning and let you wake up. "How do you know that?", You grumbled tired and slowly opened your eyes. Delia sat next to you in the Scross-legged in bed. "I am the supreme, i know everything ..", she said smugly and let you snort in annoyance. "Of course you do .." you mumbled and sat up. "Where are Mina and Ally?"

"At work? Honey, it's 11 am .." Cordelia laughed. "And what are you still doing here?" You asked confused. "Can't I spend time with my girlfriend when it's her birthday?" She smiled sweetly at you.

"Do the others know ..?"

"Nope ..", she bit her lip. "I kind of felt like you wouldn't like it if we knew ..." "I don't either," you confirmed. "Still, you'll be sad when you find out .." she muttered.

For a moment it was quiet between the two of you and you just stared at each other. And just as you were wondering how Cordelia could look so good, even though she had just woken up too, she leaned over and kissed you.

"mh delia-" you protested against her lips.

"What?", She withdrew disappointed. "I actually wanted to give you your present now ..", she grinned and enjoyed how you blushed at her statement.

"At least let me brush my teeth beforehand .." you mumbled embarrassed and jumped off the bed.

"Hurry up, princess .."

---------------

In the late afternoon you sat across from Mina at the table. Ally was still working and Cordelia had arranged to meet Misty in the greenhouse. Mina was reading the paper in thought, a habit that you found incredibly cute. You yourself were playing some random game on your cell phone when the message tone on your cell phone beeped.

Message from Joanne: "Hello Y / N, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm going to your city next week because I have to go to the doctor and wanted to ask if you would like to meet me?

~ Joanne. "

Your heart quickened on the last sentence. Joanne was your mother and wrote you every year for your birthday, you had never even answered one of her messages and now she wanted to see you again after so many years. She would come here and there was nothing you could do against it.

"Y / N ..?"

You raised your eyes to Mina, who was frowning at you.

"You're hyperventilating .." she remarked emotionless.

"I'm just dizzy ...", you gasped and stood up to run into the bathroom, or rather to stumble into the bathroom. You could feel your stomach turn as you leaned over the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl.

The world around you seemed to be spinning. The closed bathroom door became the door of your nursery, you could even hear the knock on your father's stick. And how he got closer and closer. You tried to scream, but your mouth was only a soft gasp. Tears stung your eyes. "Please .." you tried silently to get air. A hand put on your back and you instantly jumped away from the toilet. "Please don't hurt me ..", you whimpered and looked fearfully into the face of the person in front of you.

Mina stood in front of you in shock, she had never seen you like this before. And the look you gave her broke her heart. "Honey you need to calm down .." She sat carefully on the floor and grimaced as pain ran through her back. Slowly she reached out her hand to touch yours, which was a mistake. Your hand jerked back, you reached out and let your hand fall against her left cheek. "Don't touch me .." you growled. "What the hell Y / N .." Mina hissed, grabbing your cheeks and forcing you to look at her. "It's me, princess, Mina ..", she whispered and felt her own eyes fill with tears. Your eyes widened when you recognized your girlfriend. And with that you finally broke, but Mina was there to pull you into her lap while you cried into her blouse. She held you as tightly as she could while trying to process the things that had just happened. The cheek your hand had marked on it burned like fire and yet it was impossible for her to realize that you had just hit her. It had never been you, she thought. And yet it was you who was lying in her arms right now.

"I'm so sorry .." you sniffed into her blouse when you had slowly calmed down. Mina gently put her hands around your cheeks and searched your face as if it contained any answers for what had just happened. She swallowed just before speaking. "Are you scared of me, Y / N?"

When her words reached your ear, you wrapped your arms around her torso and did your best not to hurt her. You felt so damn guilty.

"I would never hurt you .." she said softly against your ear, her voice thick with tears.

"I know Mina .." you whispered. "And I could never be afraid of you .."

You drew her back before your fingers slided down her right cheek where your hand marked it. "I'm so sorry .." you repeated your words from a few seconds ago.

"I'm fine Y / N", Mina assured us and took your hand. "I'm just worried about you .. I've been watching you for the last few days, you're acting totally strange .."

"I'm okay .." you mumbled and stood up with shaky legs.

"Don't damn me lie to Y / N! ...", she hissed and there she was again, the strict Mina you loved so much.

"Mina .. I'm really fine, you just shouldn't worry .. That's why I would prefer if Ally and Delia didn't find out about what just happened ... "you said as you leaned towards the mirror to fix your hair.

Mina shook her head blankly and propped herself up. "You are unbelievably Y / N .. two minutes ago you were lying here on the floor and now you're pretending nothing happened ... You won't be able to run away forever .. "she said, took her walking stick and walked past you to leave the bathroom.

You had never spoken to anyone about it, nobody knew about what had happened in your family and actually you had sworn to yourself that you would never tell anyone about it. Simply because you felt terrible about it, somewhere Leo's suicide was also your fault because you weren't strong enough to defend him.

You ran into the hallway and saw Mina sitting at the table again. Lost in thought, she looked out the window. "I think I'll go to sleep, I'm relatively tired ..." you said. Mina didn't move an inch. "You probably won't see me again today .." you muttered and went into your bedroom to actually get some sleep.

---------------

A few hours later you woke up from a bad dream.

It was dark and the first thing you noticed was Minas lavender perfume that surrounded you. Then you realized that, despite the events of the previous day, you 4 had taken your usual sleeping position: You and Ally were in the middle. Cordelia on the right edge, next to Ally and Mina on the left edge, next to you. Mina had her arms wrapped tightly around you and your head was on her chest. Like a few hours ago in the bathroom, you noticed.

Are you scared of me, Y/N?

Mina's words echoed in your head. The sad look she gave you made you feel infinite guilt.

"Mina?" You whispered softly against her neck.

"mhm ..". Mina hummed in her sleep.

"Are you awake..?" You knew how stupid and unnecessary that question was, but you couldn't help it.

She didn't answer at first, before moving after a few seconds.

"Now yeah .." she muttered as she pressed her nose against your hair.

"I just wanted to say, I love you .." you whispered and played with the purple fabric of Mina's pajamas.

"I love you too, princess ..". Was her answer and she kissed you on the forehead. Then it became quiet again and after a few minutes you could tell from her breath that she had fallen asleep again. Unfortunately, in contrast to her, you were wide awake and therefore decided to get up. Carefully you free yourself from her arms and sat up in bed. Confused, you noticed that the place next to Ally, who was sleeping sweetly, was empty. Where was Cordelia? You carefully climbed out of bed and went to look for the blonde, only to find her in the bathroom. You crept and stopped suddenly when you saw Cordelia lying in the bathtub.

Cordelia gave you a warm smile when she saw you and you couldn't help but laugh out loud. "What's so funny?" Cordelia grinned. "You .." you uttered, still laughing. "I?"

"Yes. You .. It's two o'clock in the morning and you sit here in the dark and bathe ...". You trotted to the sink. "It's not completely dark, I lit candles ..", Cordelia defended herself. You shook your head in amusement and washed your face.

"You're sweating .." Cordelia remarked, referring to the sweat stains on your shirt. "Didn't sleep so well .." you replied curtly. "I guess you don't want to sleep again either ..?" "Nope .." You turned back to her.

"Well ... then I would love it if you kept me company here," Delia said and smiled again. You shook your head again, just grinning, before you pulled your shirt over your head and went to the tub to get into the water. Cordelia sat down so that you were sitting in front of her and your body was leaning against her bare torso. She carefully put her arms around your torso and rested her chin on your head. You lay down for a few minutes Just there and you would probably have fallen asleep had she not spoken.

"Mina told us about your dropout this afternoon .."

Of course she did..

You closed your eyes "Why don't you just tell us what's going on Y / N?" She began softly. "We're really really worried." "I can't Delia .. I've never talked about it .." you whispered. "So do you admit something is wrong?" You snorted. "Of course something is wrong .. I hit Mina."

"You know that she's not angry with you, she's just worried as I said .. You know, no matter what is on your mind, we all suffer with you, no matter whether you tell us what's going on or not .. ", Delia said and ran her wet fingers through your hair. You just nodded at her words. "You could only tell one of us if that helps you.", She offered, although she knew that this would also bring new problems. "No, I trust you all .. It's just that, as I said, I've never told anyone about it. I am just afraid of your reaction .. "you said.

"Oh y / n ..", she sighed and turned your head so that she could look you in the eye. "No matter what happened, we love you so much and nothing could change that ..". Again you nodded.

Then suddenly she got up and grabbed a towel. "What are you doing?" You asked confused when you watched her get out of the tub and dry off. "You pull the plug and get dressed ... Meanwhile, I'll wake Ally and Mina, we'll finally talk to each other .." she said and put her nightgown back on before she ran out of the bathroom.

"You won't do that, it's the middle of the night .." you shouted after her.

"I know."

You climbed out of the bathtub, trembling, and drained the water. You dried yourself off quickly and got dressed. Before you left the room, you took a quick look in the mirror. You looked like you were going to cry any minute.

"We're in the living room, Y / N .." Cordelia suddenly called. For a moment you closed your eyes, then you slowly walked into your common living room. Your 3 friends sat on the sofa and stared at you expectantly. Cordelia sat with her legs crossed, her hair wet and her short nightgown on the right end. Ally was sitting cross-legged to her left. Clad in a T-shirt and shorts, she narrowed her eyes against the light. And at the other end sat Mina, in her purple pajamas, her long red hair curling on the fabric. Her left hand held her walking stick and, as always, her gaze seemed to shine through you.

You sat in the chair in front of them when Ally held out her hand to you. "This is not a fucking interrogation Y / N ..". You carefully took her hand and she pulled you between Delia and herself. You stared nervously into your lap and played with your fingers. You could still feel their expectant looks.

"Oz looks like my little brother ..." you suddenly let out. "Is that all?" Ally asked confused. "No .." you shook your head and waited a few seconds. "..my childhood wasn't that great ... my mom had a big drinking problem I guess..". "And your father?" Cordelia asked. "Uhm, well ... he hit us when we didn't do things the way he wanted ..."

Briefly there was silence in the room. "That's awful Y / N, but what does this have to do with my son ..?" Ally finally asked.

"My brother committed suicide when he was 15 because of my parents .." you said and heard Ally take a shaky breath. "And actually I had repressed all of that over the years and when I saw Oz ... I only saw Leo ...".

You got up and walked to an unpacked box with your things. You came back with a picture, which you put into Delia's hand. It was a family photo. Delia stared hard at the photo. "Your father had a walking stick .." she said suddenly and you instinctively looked at Mina, who was staring lost at the floor. Her grip on her own walking stick had tightened so much that you could be afraid it would be squeezed by her fingers. "His left leg wasn't healthy ... that's why he hobbled ...". Delia passed the photo on to Ally, who only had eyes for the blond boy next to you. "Well .. he actually looks a bit like Oz ..", Ally only mumbled and wanted to pass the picture on to Mina, but she just shook her head. "I do not want to see this..".

Again there was brief silence and again Ally was the one breaking it. "When I told you about Ivy and said I don't want any secrets between us, I actually assumed you'd think that way too..That's why I'm kind of angry Y / N..I mean, Do you don't trust us?"

You just wanted to speak, when Cordelia came before you. "She wasn't ready yet, Ally..She-" "Cordelia, I asked Y / N and not you .." Ally hissed.

"I've never told anyone about it ..." was all you said. "But we're not just anyone .." Ally sounded disappointed. "I didn't want you guys to think wrong of me .." you said softly. Cordelia leaned forward and grabbed your hand. "What happened is not your fault .. it was your brother's decision and your parents' fault .." "But maybe I could have done more .." you whispered, tears gathering in your eyes. Cordelia just sighed and pulled you into her lap. You leaned your back against her chest and listened for her heartbeat.

"And what was yesterday?" Asked Ally. "Something must have triggered your strange behavior .." "My mother texted me .. she does that every year on my birthday .." you said.

"It was your birthday?" Ally looked at you with raised eyebrows.

You nodded briefly and made Ally moan in frustration. "If you don't even tell us that anymore, then-" "She said she would come here next week because she has to see a doctor .. She wants to meet with me .." you interrupted her. "But I don't want to see her ..", you felt tears running down your face.

Ally just shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You should have talked to us much earlier Y / N ..", Mina finally said. "Even if this is all new now, we are a family and it is our job to make sure that you are okay. We would never have left you alone with Oz, had we known about your brother .. Not just about you to protect, but also because of Oz's safety. It's important that we trust each other, we've all been through complicated things .. " You nodded guiltily again.

Cordelia cleared her throat. "The scars on your back, you told us they were from a car accident, is that true?" "No .." you said. Suddenly you felt Delia's cool fingers pulling up your shirt and exposing your scars. "Delia what-" "Shut up, Y / N .." They'd all seen your scars before, but knowing that those scars were someone's craft, made them look a lot more brutal when Delia gently ran her fingers over them. "Did he? ..- asked Mina. You nodded and tears fell into your lap as you let out a sob. "I'm sorry," you said, holding a hand over your mouth to stifle your sobs.

"Damn Y / N, stop apologizing ..". Ally jumped up, stood in front of Delia and you, pressed your head against her flat stomach and rubbed your upper back with her hand. Delia's fingers continued to slide to the scars on your side. "Was that him too?" She asked softly. "No .." you answered. "Then who was it? Your moth-" "It was her, Delia .." Mina interrupted her with closed eyes. How could they have been so blind? Such scars did not appear in car accidents.

"Is that true Y / N?", Cordelia's voice trembled when she asked. "I'm so sorry .." you sniffed at Ally's shirt. "Back then I didn't know how to deal with everything .." "Shhh princess .." Ally cooed. "Please finally stop apologizing for something you can't do anything about .."

"Honey, do you still hurt yourself sometimes?" Asked Mina, who had slipped up to you and put her hand on yours.

"I've stopped doing that since Leo's death .. I think he saw me with a knife sometimes ..". The thought of it brought new tears to your eyes and made you sob one more time.

Cordelia pulled the fabric of your shirt back down before leaning her head on your back and wrapping your arms around your waist. Mina, who was sitting next to Delia, was the only one who could see her tears as she reached out her hand to gently run through Delia's hair. "Some things are going to change now, Y / N .." she said firmly. "We'll be more careful about some things and we'll also have to see how we deal with Oz without it being uncomfortable for him or you. I'll contact your mother and make it clear to her that you don't want any more contact. We can't stop Oz looking the way he looks, but we'll help you deal with it because that's what we're here for .. ". Her thumb brushed the back of your hand, which was in her lap. That was the last thing that was said that night, but you stayed in that position for a long time. You in the midst of your worried lover

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

I have a head cannon that when technoblade becomes friends with someone he braids their hair he's so far done it to Tommy philza and ranboo but only philza knows why

This is such a good prompt thanks! I went a little overboard and added a lot of my own hc's, hope that’s okay! Quick note I’m not past exile yet so my apologies if bedrock bros and just Ranboo in general are slightly inaccurate

When Philza met Techno, Techno was only a child, barely even able to talk, sitting dead-eyed in the ruins of a piglin village, hiding under the rubble in the hopes he wouldn’t be spotted. Philza, of course, being Philza, basically immediately adopts him.

Philza tried his best, he really did, but this was in the middle of a war, and Philza didn’t really know that child soldiers aren’t the best thing (he never quite learnt that, honestly). Techno learnt to fight before he learnt to read.

When Techno was young, he always had his hair cut short and out of his face, but he really liked the small side braid that Philza always wore in his hair. He had started to grow it out a bit, but not long enough to braid, by the time he became the vessel of the Blood God.

Short side note, he and Philza were fighting against a cult, and they’d managed to capture Techno and brand the sigil of the God into his flesh allowing the Blood God to make Techno his champion. Needless to say, the cult was near immediately completely wiped out after this process was complete, but also Technoblade wasn’t exactly super thrilled with all this.

Along with the more obvious changes- glowing, blood-red eyes, growing to almost nine feet tall, an insatiable desire for a good fight, and the constant voices ringing in his head, the growth of his hair was barely noticeable. Sure, it touched the floor and regrew rapidly when cut, but it seemed to mystically never get in his way during combat.

During combat being the operative sentence. Even if it isn’t life threatening, constantly tripping over your own hair when you’re still trying to get used to being a good two feet taller than usual and the voices in your head constantly mocking you for it.

This is when Techno gets the idea to braid it, like Philza does! The issue is, he doesn’t know how to braid hair, and he’s been so terrified of accidentally hurting Philza with all of his changes that he’s been avoiding him best he can, so his attempts fail horribly.

Meanwhile, Philza's very concerned that Techno's started avoiding him. He’s actually really frightened that Techno hates him now, since as the champion of the Blood God, with the voices of it’s angels in his head now, he might well view all other gods as enemies, and Philza, as not only the most esteemed angel but the husband of the goddess Kristin, would be included in that.

Still, he was very concerned about how Techno was avoiding him, and eventually came into Techno's room to have a talk with him, and he walked in on one of Techno's honestly awful attempts at braiding his own hair.

Philza offers to help braid Techno's hair, and during this they have a long, long conversation about both of their worries. Techno reassures Philza that he doesn’t hate him (or Kristin, for that matter), and Philza reassures Techno that he’s not going to lose control. The voices decide that Philza is pretty pog, actually, and chill out a bit. Overall, it’s just a massive relief for everyone.

After this, Philza starts teaching Techno how to braid his hair. It’s a slow process- especially since braiding nine feet of hair is an ordeal- but it’s one of the few moments of peace in the Angel of Death and the champion of the Blood God's life. Once Techno learnt how to braid hair, he started braiding Philza's too. The two of them knew what it meant. I trust you, unconditionally, and without fail.

Hundreds of thousands of years pass. Nations rise and fall, legends are made, but Philza and Techno stick by each other’s side throughout it all. They maintain the tradition of braiding each other’s hair. Techno does not do it with anyone else, but Philza does it with whatever random of assortment of children is under his wing at the specific time. Techno can’t quite understand the mans attachment to whatever orphan he finds on the street. Even the ones who don’t die in the battlefield die too soon, and he can’t understand how you could let yourself go through the heartbreak of seeing their inevitable demise.

He doesn’t expect the latest batch to be any different. Sure, one's Philza's biological kid, so he’d theoretically be able to survive indefinitely, but he’s a creative type who’s so inept with a sword Techno's certain he’ll perish the second a war comes around. One's a failed clone of Philza, but the hybrid and human DNA he was given to stabilise him made him a mess of instincts with atrophied wings and constant sickness. And while the shine in the ram-boys eyes shine with an energy that's definitely a sign of some relation to the older species, everything else about him suggests a regular child who’ll pass and die in maybe a hundred years tops.

Still, when he receives a letter from Wilbur about a rebellion, Techno was excited to go. More for the fun of combat and of course overthrowing a tyrant, but he can’t help but feel proud of the boy he remembered once trying to pick up a sword blade-end becoming a capable general.

He honestly developed a respect for Tommy and Tubbo during Pogtopia. They were so young, and already capable warriors. He felt they were naive, with their talk about restarting a government, but held hope in them that they’d realise that anarchy would be preferable.

Still, they drifted apart, in no short part due to being pressured into canonically killing Tubbo and non-canonically killing Tommy. Techno would never admit it, but the anger in Tommy's eyes and the fear in Tubbo's whenever he was around stung a bit.

His few interactions with Tommy after the sixteenth lead him to believe that the boy didn’t want anything else to do with him, so he was surprised to find the boy shivering under his house, bruised and eerily quiet in comparison to the Tommy he was used to who would never stop talking.

The Blood God may be more traditionally thought of as a god of combat, of killing and of blood shed by violence, but that’s only scratching the surface of the Blood God's dominion. It is also a god of anarchy, of freedom, of vengeance, and of protecting those who cannot protect themselves. And as a champion of the Blood God, Techno would have hesitated throwing out even someone he despised in those circumstances, but Tommy? There was no way he wouldn’t have helped him, despite how much he grumbled and groaned (that, at least, was easier than admitting attachment).

Techno tries, he really does. But he mistakes bruises and scars caused by cruel hands to the ones a younger Tommy came home with on accident due to his frailness, the possessiveness of the man who hurt him as he came in search as him as overbearing concern instead of obsession. He chalks up confused feelings to some awful accident, unwilling to pry in the clearly distressed child's business (and while he doesn’t want to admit it, he doesn’t want to think that Dream, his friendly rival for thousands of years, might be truly a monster.)

The first time Techno offered to braid Tommy's hair, he didn’t even realise what he offered until he’d already said it. Tommy was just sat, shivering, despite being curled up in one of Techno's cloaks in front of the fire, and Techno'd noticed how Tommy's long hair always got in his face, and he kept raising a shaking hand to push too long hair out of his face, and Techno couldn't help but be reminded of himself long ago, scared to leave his room and dealing with hair far too long for for himself.

That’s not to say he had any regrets, though.

Techno braided Tommy's hair every day after that. Honestly, on the days where he wasn’t shaking bad enough that he couldn’t braid his own hair it sort of annoyed Tommy- he felt a bit like he was being pitied, and that’s something he absolutely can’t fucking stand, but Techno's pity was far, far preferable to being back with Dream, watching the light slowly drain from his eyes in the reflection in the water every day, so he stayed quiet.

After Tommy's betrayal, Techno felt hurt- far, far more hurt than he’d ever found himself before. He’d given the boy his unconditional trust- showed it to him, every day, and Tommy couldn’t even show enough trust to stay by him.

The first time he saw Tommy after, still wearing a braid in his hair, a mockery of friendship, he punched through the walls in his home afterwards. Anger hurt less than sorrow, so he stewed in it, refusing to admit he still cared about the boy at all.

As such, it took him a long time to even braid his own hair, let alone anyone else’s. It was something that was safe, and now just reminded him of a boy who used his kindness and left it unrepaid.

The first person he started braiding the hair of again was Philza, not long after this. It was Philza, and Techno doubted he could lose trust in the man, even if he flat out stabbed him in the back quite literally. Philza was much closer to a friend than a father, but he was still the closest thing to family Techno had ever known.

Eventually though, somehow another boy managed to sneak past his defence. Ranboo was awkwardly tall and quiet with a crown and inexplicably good fighting skills, and Techno couldn’t help but like the boy who reminded him so much of himself. He supposes this is probably the closest he'll ever get to understanding Philza and his children.

Still, it takes a while for him to feel safe and comfortable braiding Ranboo's hair for him- as far as he was aware, Ranboo almost never had it loose out of the braid it was already in, anyway. The last time he trusted someone who reminded him of himself, it only hurt.

Eventually, though, Technoblade came around. Ranboo had just come out of one of his weird sleepwalking states, hair a mess and very distressed. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if the kid had enough memory to know who he was, but he relaxed as Techno braided his hair and talked about nothing in particular.

Now, as Technoblade's founded the Syndicate, he's grown a little more comfortable showing affection to others, especially Philza and Ranboo. Niki's a little new, but Techno knows that someday soon he'll trust her enough to braid through her hair, and put his trust in her completely.

[brienneseveruscalawayfanfiction]

Olivia Benson x Detective Reader: Kidnapped!

Alright anon, sorry this took so long to come up with, I know i kind of changed it a bit and I hope you still like it and that it makes sense. I love you guys, enjoy!

Captain Olivia Benson and Y/N had really gotten into it now, now was the question how the hell do they get out of this one?  A few weeks ago they had find a woman’s body, a Jane Doe who was found in an alleyway, left there, posed like a doll, almost, in a very modest and out of date colonial style dress. From that point on the detectives at SVU were working round the clock to figure out if there were more and if so where could these women have come from? After the autopsy and looking at the victim’s clothing it was discovered to be a type of hand sown dress that is worn by the women from a religious cult in upstate New York. They appear to prey on the naive, vulnerable, women they deem weak. Olivia and I decided after putting out heads together that we had to get more information and decided against better judgment to put newest detective Katriona Azar Tamin. She is fully capable but has already been through so much undercover but she insists that she is up for it. “Captain, I can do this, please just trust me.” “Ok Kat, you can do this just please be careful, these people are sick and twisted.” “Got it Cap.” Kat says as she mock salutes us both and goes and readies herself for the operation. Of course no one else seemed to take this case very seriously so we are doing this in a sort of non official way, but really who gives a shit, because there are countless women being brainwashed and raped to be subserviant to these men and that isn’t going to fly with Liv and I. Equipped with a mic and little else we send Kat in and hold our breath, while this is happening, an old friend and former partner of Liv calls her up and makes her smile and laugh, all the things I would love to be able to do for her. She looks so radiant today too, could she be in love with this Stabler? Not that it’s any of our business, we aren’t together and to be frank, i am not even sure she is into women, let alone me. “Hello, Y/N, detective, you in there?” “Huh, oh shit, Liv I’m sorry, must have zoned out.” Y/N says sheepishly as she shrugs her shoulders and yawns loudly,when at the tail end of it, hears a gun go off and that is the signal for the boss lady and I to kick into action! We race towards the compound and see women and children endlessly running, screaming for help and Kat lying on the ground unconscious, having been not unconscious by one of the men running the place, his name Anthony Yertz. Liv and I check for a pulse and find one and that’s when everything goes black....

*gasp, “Olivia, Liv, Liv?!” “Shh, I’m here, I’m here, just listening, trying to figure out where exactly they have taken us, we appear to be in an underground bunker. “Where’s Kat?” “Over, here.” Kat groggily replies.  “Kat what the hell happened? How did it go so wrong so fuckin fast?” Y/N asks. “I know, I thought one of the women could be a help to us, but she got scared, freaked out, badly, and now we are all stuck in a bunker.” Anthony strolls into the room eyeing his newest catches and his eye is immediately captured by you, detective Y/N. Slowly he saunters over to you and starts to caress your face with his callous hand. Y/N pulls away from his touch, with a look of disgust on her face. Anthony laughs at her response. “Oh, feisty one are you, well don’t you worry darling, we know how to break new one’s like you in, that’s for damn sure!” Olivia immediately tenses up and shouts, “hey asshole, hey, I’m talking to ya!” You think she’s feisty, you would have much more fun trying to break me in, don’t ya think?” She says with a smirk on her now darkened features. All this time Liv was slowly cutting her way out of her rope restraints with a pocket knife she was able to work out of Kat’s back pocket. Anthony now turns his gaze onto Olivia. “Hmm, you do look like you could be fun too, but nah, i think i want to start with this one first, but hey you gals can watch and see what you have to look forward too!” He says with a demented like glee on his face. Anthony turns at this point and backhands detective Y/N flat on her back, standing over her, his chest heaving, he raises his fist and proceeds to punch as much of Y/N that can be reached. Detective Y/N has curled as far inward as she can, to try and protect herself as much as she can. Anthony in frustration throws her flat on her back and drags her by her hair over to a dirty futon and ties her hands quickly to it, as Y/N has been kicking him as hard as she can. Hovering over her, he silently strokes her face, almost like a lover and than *slap! Blood begins to run out of Y/N newly split lip, Y/N spits in his face and tells him to go to hell as he tries to undress her, Olivia breaks free and grabs a piece of wood off of the floor and rushes the son of a bitch and hits him over the head, hard! Suddenly there is a rush of heavy footsteps above us and Liv and Kat and I start screaming, that we are down here and that we have the perp. “Stand Back!” A strong yet comforting voice shouts, Liv had untied you at this point and had her hand out and slightly resting on your stomach to back you and Kat up from the door. *Bang! “Elliot!” Olivia shouts and rushes into his outstretched arms, sobbing. Grateful to be free and to now help these women get back to their families, you couldn’t help but feel that it should have been you holding Liv, not Elliot to comfort you, you thought all of this as you were cleared to go home by the EMT’s. Now driving home, you can’t get her out of your head! With a loud sigh, you wrench your car around and start racing towards Olivia’s apartment, this is it! Tonight you will tell her how you feel about her, and if she rejects you and wants you gone from her precent, than so be it.

As you approach her apartment door, you start to shake, what if this Elliot guy is still here? She used to mention him quite a lot, but not so much, at least not until today, and today as always he got to be her hero, not that you want her endangered, never, its just with everything you had just been through your ego was sorely bruised.

*knocking

“Who is it?” “Liv, its me, its Y/N.” you say as you nervously rest your forehead against her door as you in relief hear her unlocking it. “I am so sorry that’s so late, I was hoping you would still be up though, I have a lot on my mind and just had to see you and check on you and make sure you were okay. You say as she leads you into her living room and directs you to her couch, thankfully Elliot free, you noticed. “Okay, so I am so glad that you and and Kat are alright and that we saved all those women and children but there is also something else on my mind. If you don’t mind me asking, is there something going on between you and Detective Elliot Stabler?” Bracing yourself for her answer, you were comically surprised when she started laughing at you and rested her hand over yours on your thigh. “What might I ask is so amusing about that question if I might ask?” Olivia wiping the tears out of the corner of her eyes from laughing so hard, simply reaches across to cup the back of your head and pulls you towards her and says, “Its you, it’s always been you, I thought you would have picked up on that by now!” Than they were both lost in the moment and Liv was kissing you and whispering your name like its an answer to prayer and you end the night in one another’s arms, resting safely in her bed. Tomorrow can come and whatever the day may bring because with Olivia by your side, you can accomplish anything.

[teenwolffanclub-me]

First Full Moon

(Isaac Lahey x Reader)

Request: Could u maybe do an Isaac Lahey imagine with some angst but a happy ending

Word count: 2,425

Warnings: angst, fluff

Notes: okay Stiles is obviously my fav but I have such a soft spot for Isaac 🥺 so thanks to whoever sent this one in!!

———————————————————————

“What’s going on with you?”

Isaac continued ignoring you as he stared straight ahead, shoving books inside his locker forcefully. His jaw clenched as your eyes flickered over his face, wondering if you’d done something wrong. He’d barely even acknowledged your existence for the last three days. It was so sudden, it left you reeling and confused. 

“Is it your dad? I’m trying to give you space, but...” You had to learn about his fathers passing from the local obituary. The fact that he hadn’t told you himself hurt, but you knew grief could make people act in strange ways. 

He suddenly slammed his locker shut, and you jumped at the loud noise beside your ear. “Will you just stop, Y/N? Clearly, I don’t want to talk to you.”

Your shoulders stiffened as he barked the harsh words before brushing past you like you weren’t his best friend just last week. Tears prickled behind your eyes as you turned to watch him catch up with Scott, who was waiting for him at the end of the hall.

Your heart fell into your stomach as a heavy realization washed over you. You were losing him, and you didn’t even know why. 

“It’s okay to tell her, you know.” Scott glanced at the place you stood before he rounded the corner. 

Isaac listened to the sound of your quick heartbeat for as long as he could, but within seconds you were out of range, even for his newly heightened senses. He wouldn’t be surprised if you hated him after what he just said. He sure as hell already hated himself. 

“I can’t.” He muttered, shaking his head with a frown.

He’d barely been a werewolf for twenty four hours when his dad was killed. He knew the supernatural world was a dangerous one—Derek had told him as much—but he could admit now that he didn’t fully understand what he was getting himself into when he accepted the bite. 

But how could he say no?

He wanted to be...more. He wanted everything that came with being a werewolf. The strength, the speed, but most importantly, he didn’t want to be scared anymore. He wanted to be able to protect himself and the people he loved. He wanted to be able to protect you.

If anything ever happened to you, he would lose his fucking mind. 

You’d been his rock almost his entire life. When he and his dad had particularly bad fights, he’d sneak out to stay at your house. You’d usually bandage him up and try to convince him into running away for good, but he never listened. You were there for him even when he was stupid. You supported him endlessly, going to every single one of his lacrosse games even when you had other things going on. 

You were more than a bestfriend. More than family. You were everything. 

It’s why he had to push you away. If you ended up hurt because of his rash decision to become a werewolf, he would never forgive himself. It broke his heart, seeing the way your face crumbled when he snapped at you, but it was for your own good.

He had to go through with this, no matter how much it hurt.

                                                   ——————————

You raised a tightly clenched fist and banged on the door in front of you rapidly. After a brief moment of silence, you pressed your ear against the painted wood. Your lips pulled into a frown as you heard muffled voices and shuffling from inside. 

“I know you’re home, McCall!” You shouted, irritated that he was trying to avoid you. 

A few seconds later the door was shoved open and, to your surprise, Stiles leaned against it with a sheepish smile. “Hey there, Y/N. How’s it goin’? What are you up to on this fine—and you’re just gonna walk right past me. Okay.” 

You stomped your way inside the house and looked around quickly. Scott suddenly came barreling toward the entryway, but skidded to a halt with wide eyes as he saw you. He took a moment to glare at Stiles, who just shrugged, before giving you a tight lipped smile. 

“Where is he?” You huffed, eyes still flickering around the space. 

It’d been two days since your conversation with Isaac at school, and you’d barely even seen him, let alone had a chance to talk to him. He was even going so far as to ignore you in the hallways now, passing you by as if you were a stranger. At this point, you were beyond over his childish behavior. You wanted answers. 

“Who?” Scott tried playing dumb and you glowered at him before stalking into his living room. 

He instantly followed you, his footsteps on the hardwood floors echoing through the quiet house. When you accepted that he wasn’t in there either, you spun around to face Scott and Stiles again. “I know Isaac is here.”

“He’s not.” Stiles quickly insisted. “You wanna search the whole house? Go ahead. You can even check the base...ment.”

He stuttered over the word, visibly cringing. Scott sighed from beside him and pinched his eyes shut tightly. You didn’t waste any time in shoving past them to get to the basement door. You ignored them as they called your name, throwing it open so you could run down the stairs.

You nearly tripped over your own feet as you caught sight of him, managing to catch yourself on the railing at the last second. You took a moment to stare at him, eyes wide and mouth agape with shock. You didn’t know what you’d find down here, but you weren’t expecting this.

Isaac sat in the middle of the room, his arms tied tightly behind the support beam he was leaning against. There was a thick length of metal chains wrapped around his chest and hips, holding him in place. His head was bowed against his chest, which was heaving as if he couldn’t catch his breath. The metal binds clanked loudly with each jerk of his tense muscles.

You snapped out of your shocked stupor and rushed to his side, wide eyes flickering over his tense frame. “Isaac, what the hell is this?”

Your hands hovered over him, not sure what to do. Your mind started racing as you tried coming up with justifiable reasons he was chained up in Scott’s basement.

“You can’t be here.” His voice was deeper and more rough than you’d ever heard it as he continued avoiding your wandering eyes.

You scoffed in exasperation, dropping your hands into your lap. You hadn’t spoken to him in nearly a week and that’s all he has to say?

“What did they do to you? Are you all part of a cult or something? Because I really want to help you, but that’s kind of a lot.”

The words came out in a rush as you started panicking. You didn’t know Scott or Stiles well. They could easily be crazy, something that seemed exceedingly likely based on the sight in front of you. You didn’t have a way to get him or yourself out of here in one piece, and that was terrifying.

“Y/N.” Isaac snapped harshly, clenching his jaw painfully tight to keep himself in check. “You need to leave.”

“Are you kidding me right now? You’re literally chained up and—will you at least fucking look at me?” Your voice grew louder with your rising frustration.

How could he expect you to leave him when he was like this? When you still had no idea what was going on?

His head suddenly snapped upward, and you gasped at the sight of him. His usually crystal blue eyes were glowing a bright yellow color, and his teeth were sharp as they protruded past his lips.

You scrambled back several feet, your heart lurching your chest. He watched every one of your movements with surgical focus, his jaw clenching at the way your heart skipped a beat once you settled into place. 

You blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what you were seeing. It was your Isaac in front of you, but he wasn’t fully himself. He looked like a...monster.

Isaac let out a pained groan as he tried desperately not to shift. It was his first full moon since being bitten and, despite Scott’s warnings, he wasn’t the least bit prepared. He was overcome with rage, the only thing on his mind killing anything and everything that came even close to him.

At least, until you showed up.

As he observed your clearly terrified state, he was fighting against the primal urge begging him to hurt you. For the first time since the full moon rose, he felt like he had a tiny sliver of breathing room. But it wasn’t enough. He knew if he got free, it wouldn’t be pretty.

“Wha—I...I don’t understand.” You stammered, still frozen in place on the floor in front of him.

“Just go! You’re making it worse!” He forced his eyes shut as he momentarily lost control, an intense surge of rage passing through him. He snarled and lunged forward, fighting against the overwhelming urge to kill you. 

You fought to catch your breath as he struggled against his restraints for a few more long moments. All you could do was watch, and it broke your heart. You were beyond confused, and scared, but you were also worried. He was clearly not okay right now, and you had no idea how to help.

“Isaac...” Your voice was a breathy whisper as your eyes filled with tears.

Seeing him like this was freaking you the fuck out. Isaac was always so quiet and gentle. He’d never been this aggressive around you before. He was nothing like the beast you were looking at now. Your thoughts were racing with endless questions and possibilities, and you were feeling utterly overwhelmed by it all. 

Just then, the clouds shifted outside the window beside you, sending a ray of moonlight into the room. It swept across Isaac’s face, momentarily illuminating his newly golden eyes. He only lasted a split second under the concentrated effects of the full moon.

You watched in stunned horror as his ears elongated into points and hair sprouted along the sides of his face. He doubled over as best he could in his restraints and groaned lowly. He was quickly losing control. He thrashed against the binds, growling in frustration. 

After a few seconds, one of the chains shattered into pieces. 

Neither of you moved a muscle. Your breath hitched as you watched his every move with wide eyes. His head tilted as he brought one of his arms out in front of him and turned it over, as if making sure it was actually free. 

Within a split second he broke through the rest of the chains and had your back pressed firmly against one of the brick walls. All the air rushed from your lungs as you slammed against the hard surface, his clawed hands on your shoulders to hold you in place. 

Your entire body began trembling as fear shot up your spine. You knew Isaac would never hurt you, but you weren’t even sure if there was any of him left inside the monster that stood only inches away. His golden eyes flickered over your face with a predatory gleam and you stiffened, pressing your head into the wall to get as much distance between you as possible. 

He snarled and growled, but made no moves to kill you. He wanted to. Desperately. But there was a tiny voice in the back of his head, begging him to hold back. You could see the indecision raging behind his eyes. You knew that he if was going to hurt you, he would’ve done it already. 

It’s what made you raise an arm slowly, despite the fear coursing through you. 

A shaky hand came up between you, your heart racing as you tentatively brushed the curls away from his sweaty forehead. He may be part monster right now, but he was still your Isaac. He stared at you with wide eyes, and you could’ve sworn you saw them flicker back to blue for the briefest of moments. 

One of his hands left you to clutch your wrist in an iron grip before wrenching it away from his face. Your breath caught in your throat and you winced, closing your eyes tightly as you waited for him to attack. 

After several tense beats of silence, his hold on you slowly loosened. You peeled one eye open to see what he was doing, but instantly sprang forward as he sagged to the floor in front of you.

“I’m so sorry.” He rushed the words out, breathing heavily as his legs gave out beneath him. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a sigh of relief as you noticed that he looked like himself again. “Oh my God, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to...”

You sat beside him on the concrete floor, relieved beyond words. You still had no idea what the hell was going on, but at least Isaac was back. His blue eyes were clouded by intense regret as they flickered over you quickly. He grabbed your arm and rubbed his fingers soothingly over the place where bruises were already forming. 

His gaze swept back up to yours, his eyes brimming with tears. “Why didn’t you leave?”

He could’ve seriously injured you, or worse, and the thought made his stomach churn painfully. He’d only been able to reel himself back in at the last moment when he saw the way you recoiled from him in fear. It reminded him of all the times he’d done the same to his father. The last thing he ever wanted was to be anything like him, especially to you.

“Because I—” You swallowed, feeling your heart skip a beat in your chest. “I love you. And you don’t abandon the people you love.”

The edge of his lips twitched upward at your words. Truthfully, he’d loved you since the day he met you. At first, it was because you were his best—and only—friend, but it hadn’t taken long to evolve into something much more. Those three words didn’t even come close to describing how he felt about you. No words could.

“I love you too, Y/N.” 

It was easiest sentence he’d ever spoken, and he planned to spend the rest of your lives proving it to you.

[readbyred]

Wilbur Cross x Reader

Warnings: cursing, suggestive comments, bad spelling

Everything happened quickly.

Flash!

Bang!

And nothing.

You anticipated something much grander from what appeared to be your death. But this day was more than disappointing from the start so why would your passing be any different?

You woke up, went to see a movie at Cineplex and got trapped in a local mall with a bloodthirsty cult. And now you apparently were dead. You exploded to be exact. But death didn't look like what you expected.

Everything was dark and damp. Wherever you were there wasn't any ‘up’ or ‘down’, ‘far’ or ‘close’. But you had to be somewhere, you still had your senses, slowly coming back after the explosion.

Even if you were dead you didn't feel like it, you couldn't know for sure though. Trying to check, you slowly lifted up your head (or maybe just looked up) and tried to move around. There was no indication of you moving but somehow you knew you were. Not that there was anywhere to move towards, everything was dark, the air felt thick and solid as if it was made of jelly. Not a very pretty comparison but the place was far from nice so it’s a fitting one.

You didn't know how long you were walking but you decided to stop paying attention to details. Your body distorted on the edges, it seemed to blend with the air around you and bend in weird places but every time you focused on it, it stopped. It was hard to tell why you saw it at all given the darkness of the place but that you stopped questioning either. And so, you walked.

Finally, after some time every time, the space around you started gaining shapes. It looked a bit like one of those stroke-simulation photos but instead of frustration it brought you a sense of security.

It wasn't long until you came across a strange light.

It was green and the closer you went the less it looked like a light and the more it gained a… Sort of human form. It had arms with slick fur and big, glowing eyes. It's features were also sort of animalistic but without doubt everything else was human. When it had sensed you it ran, or rather swam away.

Figuring that you were dead either way so there wasn't much else you had to do, you followed the thing further (or deeper) into the strange darkness.

From amongst the shapes stood out one, green and huge. It looked like it could occupy most of the endless space around.

It's gigantic eyes glowed, shining a light at a man and a woman. They were surrounded by the creatures.

Unnoticed, hidden in the thick darkness you crept closer to them. Both seemed slightly distorted but it was nothing compared to the fact that the woman had a bullet hole in her head. She seemed fine, however, other than the fact that she was yelling at her companion, clearly aggravated.

The sound travelled poorly in this place and so you decided to get closer, curious as to what was happening. Was this some sort of purgatory? Or hell? But what would you get into hell for?

Since the mystery woman appeared to be even more dead than you, then this had to be some sort of an afterlife situation.

“I didn't ‘fuck it up’! If Beck Barnes and her consolation prize boyfriend didn't ruin my plan I-” the blonde woman yelled at the taller man. She was facing you but didn't seem to notice a thing.

That's why you decided to creep even closer, crouching behind the man in denim. But when you took another step his head snapped towards you.

He was around your age but looked sick, way more dead than the woman with blood dripping down her temple. His head tilted as he looked down on you with a wicked grin.

“Well well well” he started, with a raspy voice that was familiar “another new face already?”

Even if you wanted to turn back you couldn't, feeling paw-like hands grabbing you and holding in place. You didn't know where those green things came from, you could swear they sat by the woman’s side seconds ago. But now they were making high pitched noises at you and staring with their huge eyes, possibly awaiting a stranger’s command.

“Let's see what we have here” he crouched down, inches from your face, presumably in an attempt to taunt you further. The man seemed to enjoy creeping you out, however, his expression and tone changed drastically a few seconds later as his green eyes took in the details of your face. Much more serious he let out a surprised “(Y/n)?”

“Uhm, who is that, Wiley?” the woman spoke up looking down at you, but not because you were crouched down.

“Leave us alone for a moment, will you, Linda” the man, Wiley, raised his voice rapidly getting back up. The name seemed to be familiar to you, but you never knew anyone with it.

“But-” she whined.

“Out” Wiley barked out, making the woman groan, clearly not intimidating her one bit.

The green creatures however vanished, leaving you alone. It was your chance to run but you didn't want to. Whoever Wiley was, he knew you and he didn't exactly give you bad vibes.

Even the glowing green eyes and his dishevelled state weren't exactly a red flag considering everyone you came across so far was either a fantasy creature or dead.

“Out? This place is fucking endless if you haven't noticed! What am I supposed to do? Stand by Wiggly’s right or left tentacle?!”

“Go find out.” his tone suggested that the conversation was over. With more whining the blonde stomped off, towards the green, glowing thing’s head.

“Did they get to or did you just miss me so much?” he turned to you, gaining back his composure, looking you up and down “Either way! Can't say I'm disappointed…”

“Um, I don't think we know each other” you admitted, now up on your feet.

“Come on! (Y/n)” but his face fell “...fuck”

“What’s wrong?” you asked as if it wasn't you who just got killed and locked in an endless pit of nothingness.

“If it isn't you I swear…” he grumbled furrowing his brows but asked, a bit less intensely “Don’t you remember me? Come on I know you do”

His entire being seemed so inherently evil but he wasn't scaring you so far. In fact you were just growing interested in whatever he had to say the more you two spoke.

“How do you know my name?” unable to affirm his last claim you decided to question him for a change.

“(Y/n) (L/n), raised and born in Hatchetfield, studied in the local community college, from 2001 to 2005 worked as an elementary school teacher” he recited “now the question is - do you know me?”

You frowned searching for any distant memory you could have. You never knew any Wiley but that could be a dead end. And besides how would he know all that about you in the first place?

If his information stopped so far back as 2005 then this could be someone you knew then...

It took you a few seconds to put pieces back together, they told you he was dead after all.

“Wilbur”

“Bingo. Knew you wouldn't forget me, (little lady/pretty mister/sweetheart)” he smirked.

That sparked even more questions but you decided not to ask them all at once. It still bothered you what was your long-dead boyfriend doing in some sort of a purgatory void.

“What is this place? Are we dead?” you finally let out as your past lover grinned enthusiastically.

“Well, (Y/n) we are in the Black and White! A place between all timelines PEIP managed to accidentally open up” he explained proudly, leaning on your shoulder and gesturing towards the space in front of you, for better effect “but I’m not dead! Never been better. Now you on the other hand…”

He made a sound running his finger across his throat but he didn't seem very concerned.

“To be honest you look more dead than me” you rolled your eyes. It was common for you to scold him for not taking enough care of himself, back when you were together. He responded with a sigh.

“Do I, now? Do I? Come on!” he opened his arms and pointed towards himself “Don't tell me you don't like what you see”

Well, he wasn't wrong. He was a mess in every possible definition of the word and you seriously had to ask him about his horrendous outfit but he was the love of your life and you couldn't be happier to be finally reunited.

You still had some questions but not wanting to ruin the moment you just smiled at him rolling your eyes.

“You wish, Cross” still smiling, you walked by him, much less scared to meet others. You looked back, asking him if you two can join the blonde, now talking to the enormous creature.

“Hey, wait up” he caught up with you and trying to be smooth he put his arm around your waist and let it slide down, putting it on your butt “aren't you a naughty one”

And here was, using his old tricks and lines. It didn't matter though, because both of you knew they worked just fine.

BONUS (crack):

Sitting and chatting was nice, and not like there was much more to do in the Black and White. The eldritch god your boyfriend worked under seemed off but not too bad either.

“How come I ended up here though? I never joined any of the cultists” you questioned petting a sniggle laying in your lap.

“Well” started Wiggly before Wilbur could even open is mouth “I-existed-befowe-eawth-did. I-nevew-knew-14-yeaws-could-be-long. But-UwUncle-Wiley-came-hewe-and-stawted-talking-about-his-fwendy-wend-non-stop-and-i-found-out-how-long-it-can-be-OwO! So-i-bwought-his-cUwUsh-home!”

Wilbur did not want to speak on the matter.

Tag list:

@joeycupcakerichter

[peach-the-owl]

Into a World of Chaos

Artagan & Child!Reader

Request: Artagan. Love this archfey. Him finding a child who is actually very serious kid who doesn't have fun a lot because of having to rely on themselves and Artagan just being like "Oh I am going to turn their life upside down. It's gonna be chaos."

Fingers crossed this turned out as good as I envisioned

Another day of spreading marvellous mischief to unsuspecting folks, as entertaining as it was the archfey was looking for something new to spice things up. Sure he was technically a "god" with followers but what fun would it be to mess with the people who already cause chaos in your name, so to speak. No, Artagan wanted something different, a new sort of project to bring in entertainment for him. Then one day you step into the picture, a young child who'd rather learn the differences in what plants were edible over playing around in the fields. You were a lone wolf, a forager, you were the absolute opposite of Jester and the perfect target for chaos to ensue. Artagan wanted to keep it to small inconvenience for you, like placing your bag where you hadn’t originally put it, enjoying how you’d react until you finally find it. Another thing he liked to do was leave a pile of rocks outside your little shelter, both tripping you up and throwing you off in the early mornings. He also wanted to be sure you didn’t see him yet, he didn’t know if you were aware of who he was or his little cult, although that was unlikely and he was just being over dramatic.

You were getting fed up with this mysterious troublemaker, you knew they were there seeing glimpses of wild red hair or a flash of green eyes. Today you had a plan and were gonna try and catch this person in the act and get yourself some answers. You place down your backpack, it seemed to be the main target for whoever this was, take out a few items you didn’t want to lose and pretend to go about other things you wait patiently for a minute, then another until you hear the soft shifting of foliage.

"Aha!" You whip around and just catch the image of a tall, cloaked man before they disappear from plain sight. "I know you’re there! So stop being a coward and show yourself!" You call, you wait in silence for what feels like an eternity.

"Calling someone a coward is quite rude don’t you think?" A voice suddenly says right next to you making jump back in surprise.

"Who are you and why do you keep moving my things." You cross your arms and give a hard stare at the man now standing in front of you.

"I am known as the Traveler to many." He gives you a bow, you just raise an unamused eyebrow at him.

"Is that your name or something?" He just gives you an amused smirk, you frown. "Look mister Traveler or whoever you are, I don’t have time for your weird games so if you just leave me alone-"

"No time for games? There's always time for a game, and here I thought kids liked games."

"Well not this kid. I have other things to worry about." You huff going to retrieve your bag again only to trip on an overgrown root, stumbling forward a bit but able to catch yourself from completely falling. You hear a chuckle come from the cloaked man, seeing him wave his hand slightly which draws you to believe he had something to do with it.

"Oh, this is going to be fun." He says as you give him a pointed glare…

Fun was not the word you’d use to describe the next few weeks, sure you grew to tolerate the archfey and his antics but they still annoyed and sometimes hindered you. Also yes you discovered that he was in fact of the Feywild and that his real name wasn’t the Traveler but Artagan. He seemed to like telling you all this, much to your own dismay, as he didn't have to pretend to be a deity like he would for his followers seeing as you didn’t care.

"You know, you are a very strange child." You're startled by the sudden sound of his voice, hearing a familiar chuckle follow soon after.

"And you need to stop appearing out of nowhere when I’m trying to make camp." You reply, clutching your chest to try and steady your beating heart.

"See this is exactly what I mean, children don’t normally worry about such things as making shelter and instead run around chasing butterflies or whatever else their sticky little fingers can get a hold of. You act far too old for someone your age." He takes a seat on a nearby rock and watches you continue to make your little tent.

"Well I’m not like other kids, in case you haven’t noticed I don’t have anyone to help me with this. I have to do everything by myself so there’s no time to play." You say focusing on your task. There’s a slight pressure that appears on your shoulder and you’re slowly pulled away from your work making you look up sceptically at Artagan.

"Oh don’t think this as me wanting to help." He raises his arms up in defence, you just roll your eyes. "No no, rather I think it’s high time you have a break and learn how to have some fun again." He then picks you up and carries you away from your campsite.

"Hey!? Where are we going?" You ask shocked by the action.

"Like I said, you’re going to learn how to have fun." He gives you a playful smirk.

"What about my stuff? Don’t you have followers or whatever to worry about and bother instead?" You bring up, reminding him of his position.

"We'll return here when we're done and I can be in several places at once so it’s fine, now enough whining there’s chaos to spread." He brushes you off. A part of you didn’t trust this in the slightest, yet another part still held onto curiosity for whatever he had planned. Your brought over to a farmhouse not too far from the woods you were residing in and give a quizzical look up at the archfey.

"So what? Do you expect me to scare the cattle or something?"

"Something like that, yes." He gives an amused hum.

"I was being sarcastic." You say monotonously.

"Really? You can be sarcastic?" He counters playfully earning a quick glare from you. "Well I’m not. Now go on, show me what you can do." He places you down and nudges you forward. You swat at his hands and walk onto the pasture, letting out a few signs along the way wondering why you were actually going to do this. The cattle in the field towered over you, peacefully eating away at the grass.

"How the heck am I supposed to scare you." You wonder aloud. "Why do I have scare you?… Why am I talking to myself?" You sigh again, this archfey was making you go crazy. You try flailing your arms around and making loud random noises with no success, only making you feel like a weirdo. "Do something!" You yell, throwing your hands up in exasperation, you then feel a strange energy course through you and a beam of greenish light blast out of your hand into the sky. This startles both you and several nearby cattle, who fall onto their sides in shock while you stare dumbfounded at your hand.

"Hey, who’s messin' with ma cows!" You hear the farmer shout and make a beeline back to the forest. You don’t stop running until you reach your little campsite again where a waiting Artagan stood.

"That was a delightful display you put on there. Did you like my gift?" He asks once you’re close enough.

"Gift? What did you do to me?!" You ask still stunned.

"I’ve given you the ability to cast spells like that Eldrich Blast, congratulations little (y/n) you are now a Warlock." You stare at him wide eyed, this was a huge game changer, but you couldn’t decide if it was for better or worse.

"Oh come now, you have to admit that was pretty fun." He looks down at you expectantly. You try to hold a straight face as everything sinks in but end up coughing out a giggle a small smile on your face. "My word, is that a smile I see?" He raises an eyebrow at you.

"I- no… maybe." You admit, scratching at the back of your head with a slight blush on your cheeks.

"See you are enjoying yourself, I knew you had the makings of a troublemaker in you." Artagan says triumphantly, a smug look on his face. You lightly punch his arm being too short to reach his shoulder.

"Yeah whatever, there’s no need to rub it in."

"That’s exactly why I have to." He gives you a knowing look as you let out a groan.

Weeks slowly grew into months, Artagan seemed to grow more and more comfortable around you, even lightening up on the pranks and while you didn’t want to admit it you were starting to enjoy the archfey's company. Sure he was still annoying whenever he’d decide to make an appearance but he also made you realize how nice it was to have someone around. Not to mention whenever he’d pay you a visit you slowly grew more willing to take breaks and enjoy the simplicity of being a kid, it felt nice. But of course there’s always those grey clouds somewhere in the sky just waiting to make their presents known.

"What do you keep in that little bag of yours? I’ve never bothered to see for myself but you’re always so protective over it. Hiding something devious?" He asks you out of the blue one day, he did this often, asking random questions, so it was no surprise to you.

"My supplies and personal items, and that’s all you need to know." You reply plain and simply making your way down to a riverbank to clean off some dirt and hopefully catch yourself a meal.

"And if I wished to know more?" He questions.

"Not something I want to talk about, so don’t even bother." You narrow your eyes at him as you place down your things and start washing yourself off of all the dirt and grim on you. Despite this he takes it upon himself to rummage through your bag a little taking out items like your medical kit, a short sword you use for survival and a few other miscellaneous things. The most notable, and what really got your attention on him was when he pulled out a simple little necklace.

"What an odd little amulet." Artagan says, looking over the necklace making you instantly go into a mini panic mode.

"Hey! Be careful with that! You're gonna break it, give it back!" You try to grab it from him but he just extends his arm so it’s farther from your reach.

"Not until you tell me what it is." He gives a playful smirk, you were having none of it today.

"It was a gift, now give it back." You helplessly jump up and down trying to grab for it, he gives an amused laugh.

"It’s quite old," he says squinting at the jewelry, taking a closer look, "and honestly quite worthless too. It's rather plain, just cheap material and not even the slightest bit of engravings. Can’t imagine why you’re so worked up over it."

"Who cares, just give it back!" You were growing more and more desperate and frustrated. He shrugs and just drops the item in your general direction, you practically leaping to try and catch it. Unfortunately you react too slow and there’s a soft shattering sound as the necklace made contact against a rock, you crashing to the ground feeling the cool water from the river splash into your face. Slowly, stiffly you stand up again staring down at the broken medallion. The chain had broken off and was already getting washed away by the river, the medallion itself was broken into three large pieces with smaller pieces having broken off and also being carried away by the flowing water. "Whoops, well I did tell you it was cheap material." He says matter-of-factly.

"You broke it, you jerk! Why couldn’t you listen to me for once! Get out of here, leave me alone!" You turn and scream at the archfey, your blood felt like it was boiling out of anger.

"It's just a silly old thing, there’s no need to be so ra-" He’s cut off by an Eldrich Blast missing his head by inches. He gives you a glare and sees you giving one back much more intensely. "I was the one who gifted those abilities to you, I could take them away just as easily." He says evenly.

"Go ahead! I never wanted them in the first place! I was doing just fine on my own until you came along!" You snap back sharply, you then turn on your heel and march away.

"I’m not done with you child." He calls. You don’t say anything, you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of an answer and continue stomping away. "Fine! I don’t need you, I’ve got followers who respect me." Artagan watches you disappear further into the woods, you weren’t going to be his problem anymore. He huffs stubbornly, so what if you didn’t care about his godly facade and he could just be himself. Who cares if you gave it to him straight rather then heed to his every word. What did he care that you were starting to warm up to him… treat him more as a friend… didn’t expect to get anything out of it. He lets out a long exaggerated sigh, guess Jester really was rubbing off on him. "Feelings, why did it have to be feelings." He mumbles to himself looking down at the broken pieces of the necklace, an idea then pops into his mind and he begins to gather up the different pieces.

You sit yourself on a log a few feet off the ground, your legs dangling below you and sniffle, that necklace had been the last gift your parents gave you before being killed from a raiding group of bugbears, you shudder at the memory. Stupid Artagan, always putting himself in places he shouldn’t be, then again you didn’t really explain yourself very well either. Still it was your personal stuff, he shouldn’t be toying with it unless you said it was okay. You hear the slight rustling of foliage catching movement coming towards you at the corner of your eye, you already knew who it was and turn away from him.

"Why don’t we have a proper talk about this instead of giving me the silent treatment, a bit childish don’t you think?" He starts.

"I’m sorry, I thought you wanted me to be more childish." You mock bitterly.

"I uhhh, I had that coming." He awkwardly clears his throat. "I’m going to be forward with you, I’m not… the best at this kinda stuff."

"If you’re trying to make me feel better you’re doing a really bad job then." You mumble, scooting further away from him.

"Well maybe if you…" He starts to retort but trails off on seeing your saddened expression. Pressing his hands together in thought Artagan had to really think through what he wanted to say next. He lets out a big sigh. "I… apologize for my rash behaviour, I suppose I overstepped myself in your personal boundaries." You slightly turn towards him with a side glance. "I meant no harm, truly. In fact, I have something that I think will make up for it." He then holds out his hand to you. Turning a little more you see your necklace resting in the palm of his hand making you fully turn to him and slowly take it from his hand, looking over the mended pieces you can’t help but feel a strange energy emitting from the reformed amulet.

"You actually fixed it, for me?" You finally look at him in curiosity.

"Yes, granted it may be infused with my boon so by accepting it you have officially agreed to be in a pact with me." You roll your eyes at this.

"Well pact or not this is actually very nice of you." You say, giving a small yet genuine smile as you place the necklace on around your neck.

"I've come to learn that things in life are usually temporary, with a beginning and an end to them at one point or another so I think it’s best to enjoy them while they’re here. That goes for the few I could call my friends." He looks off into the distance. You could tell he was being sincere with you both from the shift of his tone and attitude, a devious little thought then came to your head.

"You know, for someone who loves to pull pranks and cause trouble you really seem to know how to be serious when you want to… or maybe I’m finally rubbing off on you." You say cheekily.

"I can be serious when I want to…… wait." You can’t help but go into a fit of giggles when his face lights up in realization. "You sly little…" He lets himself trail off.

"Hey don’t look at me, you're the one who taught me what I know in that department." You say nonchalantly with a shrug.

[palettes-and-prompts]

hiii! can i get some spooky halloween prompts? anything goes: supernatural, terror, costume party... thanks!

Sure thing! Normally I would have done these last since I do requests in order but since they’re Halloween themed I decided to do them first just in case I’m not done with the prompts in my inbox by the end of the month or something.

Dialogue Prompts

1) "Hey, I got us invited to a costume party but we've got to bring a live animal for some reason." "Were you invited by someone who sacrifices animals?" "You know, they mentioned something about a sacrifice but I just thought they misspoke and meant to say sack of ice." "Yeah, we're not going to that." 2) "Hey, I accidentally joined a cult again, can you come pick me up?" 3) "Were you making out with Person A?" "It was just heat of the moment!" "We thought we were going to die when you chased us around with that fake chainsaw!" "Does Person B know about this?" "DO NOT TELL THEM." "Oh...I'm gonna." 4) "Grab a shovel, idiot, we've got to raise another person from the dead." "Ugh, again? Didn't we just raise someone else?" "Yeah, and now another person is dead so we have to do it again." 5) "Great. I'm alone. I'm alone in the fucking woods dressed like this. I'm gonna get murdered. I am. I'm gonna get murdered because Person A doesn't know how to follow simple fucking directions. It's great. Perfect, just where I wanted to be." "Are you talking to yourself?" "Jesus fucking Christ! Don't sneak up on me like that. God! Should put a fucking bell on you!" "I've been behind you the whole time." 6) "Sun comes up in two hours, we have to go back home." "I don't want to be a creature of the night like you." "Yeah, well, no one asks to be but you are. And it's either hide or burn." 7) "Hey, my shithead relative's in town so we're taking their things and burying them in the woods, wanna come?" "Wont they notice things are gone?" "Yeah, but they think my house is haunted so it's fine." 8) "Person A?" "What? Did you hear another noise?" "There's someone watching us over there." "Get in the car. Quickly, quickly!" 9) "You absolutely cannot wear that costume." "Why? Cause I look fucking sexy as hell in it while you're dressed like some furry?" "First of all, I'm not dressed like some furry. I'm dressed like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. You know that. And Second of all, it's a Halloween themed birthday party for CHILDREN. No, you can't wear your sexy BDSM catsuit. We're going to celebrate a birthday not get hit on by single mothers/fathers." "Maybe you're going to celebrate a birthday. I'm looking to get some phone numbers." "Change." "God you're a buzzkill. Fine!" 10) "Oh my god, there's the killer!" "You know, they're looking kinda sexy in this lighting." "They've murdered six people." "Maybe I should ask if they're up for destroying my-" "Stop talking!" 11) "Oh no, I sure hope no murderers are out there looking for me, Person A, a sexy and single person who likes long walks on the beach and having a good time with fun, adventurous, sexy singles in my area!" "God. Can you just act like a normal person for five fucking minutes, please? Please? I am literally begging you." "What? I just want to let everyone know I'm not afraid of a little danger!" "People are dead, Person A." 12) "You're holding my hand." "I just don't want to get lost in the woods at night." "You keep squeezing it tighter when you hear a scary noise." "Okay, so I'm scared. What? You going to call me a chicken?" "No. I think it's cute when you hold onto me tighter." 13) "You look like you're going to vomit." "I am, I'm incredibly sick. I was gonna go home, but Person A showed up and they hate me so I swallowed a handful of blood capsules so when I throw up it looks like blood." "Why would you do that?" "Because I hate Person A and want to scare them." "But what if they don't care." "Then they look heartless in front of everyone. Basically a win for me." 14) "How'd swallowing blood capsules go?" "Turns out they're super toxic and I had to go to the hospital immediately. But I did find out that Person A doesn't hate me, they're actually in love with me but didn't know how to express that because they're bad at expressing feelings. So we're dating now." "Jesus Christ, I can't believe that's the story you're going to have to tell your future kids." 15) "Don't panic, but I have a knife in my chest." "You what?" "I fell when I was carving a pumpkin and ended up stabbing myself in the chest with a knife. I'm fine though." "You're not fine, you stabbed yourself." "I'm fine, I'm driving myself to the hospital right now." "You're driving?!?!" 16) "What are you going to be for Halloween, Person A?" "Myself." "That's a horrible costume, it'll never win the contest. Go as a dog." "Sound's like Person A already is!" "Fuck you, Person B!" 17) "Person A got hammered and threw up in a child's Halloween bucket." "That's okay, they said trick or treat. Not everyone can be lucky enough to get a treat. It's about time kids started receiving some tricks." "I'll go give them the rest of the candy bowl and apologize. You keep A here." 18) "HEY! DID YOU FUCKING BUY THESE WAX CUBES THAT SMELL LIKE CANDY CORN?!" "Yeah." "Don't you EVER buy these again. Person A just ate seven before I read the packaging." "Why didn't Person A read the package? They're a grown ass person and it fucking says wax cubes on the front of the package." "They're a dumbass, Person B! You know you can't leave inedible things that smell like foods around them. Remember what happened with the scented erasers?" "Yeah, that was a weird hospital visit." 19) "Why would you want to go on a hay ride when you can ride me right now?" "Never been disappointed on a fucking hay ride." 20) "Switch costumes with me. Person A and I accidentally ended up matching and if they notice and point it out to everyone and call us twins I might end up killing someone." "Person B, is that you?" "Oh fuck me..." "Person B!" "I have to go, distract them so I can get away!"

Regular Prompts

1) A and B are invited to a party thrown by someone they work with, Person C, but don't know them that well. They get there early and it's just them and Person C tells them to help themselves to food while they fix something outside. A opens the freezer and panics when they find a severed head. It looks real and A and B decide they need to leave. Just as they're about to leave the power goes out. 2) A's in an unhappy relationship with Person B. Instead of going to a party with their friends like A wants to do B insists they play with the new ouja board they got. A doesn't want to but B complains until A gives in. They accidentally summon a demon and while B leaves them behind, the demon, Person C, insists that B was a piece of shit anyway. A and C form an unlikely friendship and when A finds a way to bring C into their world permanentally the two decide to live together and C helps A get out of their relationship. The two then get together after getting to know each other and A discovers dating demons is way better than humans. 3) A and B are close friends who almost kiss but then it's interrupted when vampires show up and start terrorizing the town. The two begin a hunting spree with a few friends to take down all the vampires and the experience makes their friendship stronger and the two share a first kiss after they take down the last vampire together. 4) A and B are at C's house for a party, someone they've known their whole life. They realize halfway through the party that the locked basement they've never been in is unlocked. They decide to go down to see what's down there but immediately regret it when they turn the light on and find C surrounded by bodies and their hands and mouth covered in blood as they tell both of them they can explain everything. 5) A group of friends sneak into the park during Halloween even though it's closed and discover that the public bathroom has a body and the whole place is covered in blood. They decide to leave and call someone but they don't get a signal and now five people in dark cloaks are chasing them with knives. 6) A and B are known for being unscareable since nothing's ever made them scream out of fear. Their friends try to scare them throughout the whole day but they're unable to. The go to visit A's grandparents in the nursing home after A's parents insist. But when they go there they walk into the wrong room and find two old people doing it and A and B, along with the rest of their friends, scream in horror before closing the door. Unable to look at another old person they visit A's grandparents, but don't make eye contact and none of the friends make fun of them for it. They all just go trick-or-treating and agree to never speak of it again. They all forget about it until the next Halloween when they're sitting around watching TV and A's parents walk in telling A to go visit their grandparents. The group of friends simultaneously scream NO in horror and the story ends with them all shuddering at the memory. 7) A is unscareable so their friends hire someone to fake a news broadcast and pretend to be a murderer loose in their area. A isn't scared but when the fake murderer walks by and A sees them through the windows they all pretend not to believe A because A's a known prankster. A sees them more and more around the house with a knife but it isn't until A turns around and the pretend murderer is right behind them in the house that they scream. Everyone either records it or takes pictures before admitting to A it's just a prank. (Bonus if A already knew about the prank and hired the fake murderer to pretend to be murdered by someone A knows who actually just got out of prison. No one gets hurt but A definitely gets back at the others for trying to scare them.) 8) A group of friends find a giant pumpkin in the woods and when they find it has a door only Person A is brave enough to go inside. The door closes behind them and disappears and when someone comes towards the pumpkin they don't know they explain their friend is stuck inside. The person explains that the pumpkin is actually a carnivorous plant that digests the people who walk in on Halloween and that it can eat twenty people at a time. Before they can get worried or call someone Person A bursts out the side of the pumpkin carrying two kids and telling the others to come help the rest of the people inside. The others are still shaken from being inside but A tells the others they're going to need a chainsaw and a truck. A ends up saving more people and making sure it's empty before the friends help them make pumpkin pies for the entire town. A ends up getting a first place ribbon at a pie contest they didn't enter and the friends are hailed as town heroes. 9) A group of friends go camping and ask Person A and Person B to go find Person C, who's near the road and doesn't know where everyone else is. The two hate each other and end up getting into a heated argument where they end up wandering around and getting lost. Unable to get a signal on their phones or figure out how to use a compass they end up getting more lost and end up seeing someone watching them. The two are terrified and run away. The stranger chases after them and soon more people pop out of nowhere, terrifying them as they run around. When they finally see a light they run towards it and find out they walked all the way across town where the community had set up a haunted house in the woods for people to walk into. The two end up hating each other less but agree they're never going camping again. They end up getting a cab and just decide to get Person A's car and go to a restaurant for food. 10) Person A and B are dating when Person A gets their head stuck in a fake pumpkin and B has to call the fire department. A laughs at their situation and B just stands by, completely embarrassed by their significant other.

[dis--parity]

abscond.

Summary: Garis sits on the cusp of a new life - and hears the last echoes of it on the threshold. Trigger warnings: None Author’s notes: We’ve officially entered the mini-drabble phase of the Haemolife files! Let’s get this all wrapped up!

Breaking news!

A few hours ago, a torrent of files were leaked from a computer located in a CIA compound in Nevada. The files leaked contained sensitive and restricted-access information regarding the health and wellbeing proprietorship known as Haemolife, which abruptly ceased its operations two years ago. These documents reveal that the multi-level marketing company served as a front for a Neo-Christian cult, abducting common citizens and brainwashing them to induct them into cult life. A recount of the contents of these so-called ‘Haemolife Files’, as well as audio from interrogations of the sole survivor of the cult, will be played later tonight for the purpose of transparency. Listener descretion is greatly advised.

The agent believed to be responsible for the leak, lieutenant William Jacob Brewer of the Sakerhetspolisen, has been arrested and is awaiting trial for exposure of classified documents to the public. Agent Brewer and his superior, Major Steven Othen, refused to provide any comment.

“Sheesh.”, comes a groan from the speckled-skinned man, speaking over the faint crackling of the radio. “Wonder how all that happened, huh?”

His jest is met only with silence from Garis - though, there’s no real tension in the back of the Humvee that rolls along to a destination unknown. They only brush the mallen streak from their sight to meet his gaze more properly as he speaks up again.

“Hey,” said Liam. “We’re getting outta here. It’s done. You, you’re gonna be Mx. Low Profile from now on. Best case scenario, once we get to you Shinagawa, you’ll be head chef in a sushi restaurant. Besides... you said you wanted to go to Japan. Think of it like... a long holiday. At least ‘til I run outta leeway with the yakuza, or until the heat dies down.”

Still no reply to his enthusiasm, it seems. Glacial hues glance away from him for a second, towards the front of the vehicle - and straight back. A burning question leaps from their lips, their hand gripping the leather of the seat underneath them.

“... when we get to Japan, when we... meet these contacts of yours... what’s going to happen to me?” “What are y-” “We heard what Brewer said. About... deprogramming us. Undoing what Haemolife did. And, believe us, if we could escape from this shit, we could, but... would it be us? We were created by them... would this mean we’d be erased, too?”

Liam chokes on his own uncertainty - hesitating to answer directly. A finger raises to scratch a lightened patch of skin on his cheek, pursing his lips for a second before they’re loosened in a sigh.

“... I don’t know. I don’t know what’s gonna happen, but I can promise you this. Whatever happens to you, whoever you become, whoever... Yeong-Hui Han turns out to be. If they’re you, if they’re someone else, if you persist, if you don’t... I’ll take care of them the best I can. Help ‘em get back in the saddle and on their feet in the world. We’ll just have to see where it all takes us. Together.”

Together. Just... seeing where it takes them. That does nothing to ease Garis’ apprehension, it would seem, as their azure gaze casts itself back down to the floor. They give it a moment to mull in their mind - but are quickly interrupted by the Humvee coming to a stop, the engine cutting off and letting the back descend into silence, interrupted only by the opening of doors, and by the words of the one who had this all organised.

“We’re here.”

Garis steps out an open door, and onto a huge expanse - almost as big as they imagined the junkyard might be, if it was clear of all the trash. And, in the distance, a small passenger plane, sitting at the terminus of the runway. They had the whole walk to contemplate to themselves what oblivion would feel like - and they had to admit to themself that they were scared of experiencing everything, telling everything that was now known to the world, only to fade into the forgotten reaches of another’s mind.

But... they wouldn’t have gotten here if not for the man guiding them to that plane right now. And they wouldn’t have survived if not for the one person who was daring enough to love them. They’d lived a life of strife, of conflict and torture - perhaps whatever void this aspect of their psyche would be banished to would finally give them that bliss they so needed. To stop thinking. To separate the mind from the body and let it rest. Maybe... maybe someone else taking the wheel wouldn’t be so bad. Being alone with the imagination, unaware of the physical world, shut away in the darker reaches of another’s mind... maybe there was an appeal to that.

“Captain,” one of the men tending to the plane greeted. “We heard the news while we were waiting. Plane’s all fuelled up for a trip to the designated airfield. Kimura’s boys will handle you from there.” “I ain’t a captain any more,” Liam corrected. “But thanks. Just brings the two of us one step closer to leaving all this behind. Ain’t that right, Garis?”

“... yeah. That’s right. We’re... so close to the end now.”

Taking a few steps up to the passenger seating area, they find a bed already made up for them. Looks more comfortable than whatever slab they were sleeping on in the Nevada compound, anyway. They don’t even need to be told to make themself comfortable - they just hope it’ll be a smooth enough flight to Oshima. As the plane starts up, noise-cancelling headphones on to ensure their own peace, they give one final look over to Liam - and speak.

“... thank you.”

And Liam merely smirks - listening as the AM radio is shut off and switched to the air control channel, killing all signs of the life they were leaving behind. They life they covered up. Buried. Escaped.

“What for? I didn’t have nothin’ to do with this.”, is the final snark they hear, before drifting off into something resembling that unconscious bliss they’d soon find themself in...

[anistarrose]

Some Sunny Day Bonus Chapter 3: Seen and Unseen

AO3

Summary: A grove of birch trees on a familiar hill, an encounter in the woods that goes terribly wrong, and two memory guns.

Characters: Stan Pines, Bill Cipher, Ford Pines, Fiddleford McGucket, Blind Ivan

Been a while, huh? I was planning to celebrate the anniversary of finishing this fic with two bonus chapters just stuffed chock full of hurt/comfort, but then life happened (I got a part-time job and also mild insomnia, you know how it is) so enjoy some prequel angst instead! This one is canon to SSD and set in early 1982, shortly after the portal incident.

***

After a scare with frostbite in late February, Stan sets out at the first sign of melting snow to resume his search for the journals. A snowdrift had blocked several trails behind the house last week, but now they’re passable — so long as you don’t mind the overcast weather, and being up to your heels in mud.

Stan had enjoyed hunting for fake treasure and following Ford’s cryptic clues when they would pretend to be adventurers as kids — he’d been good at it, even. But this time, Ford has left him no hand-drawn treasure maps or whimsical riddles — only more ominous clues, like a ransacked, now empty medicine cabinet, or a ripped out journal page about being watched with X-ed out triangles drawn in all the margins. Clues that make Stan feel like throwing up, because they should mean something to him, but he just can’t bring himself to think it through and face the inevitable conclusion.

This is all my fault.

He stumbles to a halt at the foot of a hill, and realizes he’s surrounded by birch trees. He’s surrounded by eyes that never blink — or maybe, he thinks, before he can tell himself he’s going crazy, eyes that only blink when I’m blinking.

The birch trees don’t scare him the way the rest of the forest does — he’s not afraid of some creature or cryptid sneaking up on him here, where the forest is so deathly silent and he’s left all alone with himself. They don’t scare him the way the town does, either — despite everything, he feels less watched here, where there are no strangers shooting him suspicious glares or cloaked figures vanishing around corners and into the shadows.

No, the birch trees set Stan on edge because whenever he sees them — makes eye contact with them? — he knows he’s forgetting something. It’s something important, something horrible, something dangerous — like the fear of having left the stove on, except multiplied by a million. Disaster is impending, and he’s the one to blame.

This is where I belong.

He hates this place, but he’s come this far, so he can’t leave without giving the eerie birch grove a proper search. He doubts that Ford, at the height of his paranoia, would hide a journal on a hill where even the trees could watch him — but if Stan leaves now, and can’t find the journal anywhere else in the valley, he knows he’ll have to revisit this place eventually. He doesn’t ever want to revisit this unpleasant memory again, if he can avoid it.

Setting out to leave no stone unturned, he finds there are few stones on the hill to turn in the first place. There are few hiding places of any sort, nor any signs of recent digging. Stan suddenly regrets throwing out his metal detector all those years ago, and wonders if the other journals have enough brass in them to give a signal —

The hairs on the back of his neck stand up before he realizes why. He knows someone’s coming before he hears the snap of twigs or the hushed voices, the murmur of “look at the footprints, he came this way.”

They’re coming from the direction of his — Ford’s house. They must’ve followed him — or as they believed it, followed Ford out here for a reason.

“Who’s there?” Stan shouts, cringing as he hears how hoarse his voice is. His impression of Ford improves as he adds, “What brings you out here?”

“We could ask the same of you, Dr. Pines,” a deep voice booms as two figures in hooded red robes step into view, one more hesitantly than the other. They both wield identical, uncomfortably gun-shaped contraptions. “Still haven’t given up on your project, have you?”

If these cultists, or assassins, or whatever the hell they are know anything about Ford, then Stan needs to know it too. He takes a measured risk.

“I have a lot of projects. You’ll have to be more specific —”

“Ya know what we mean, Stanford.” It’s the second robed figure who speaks up, the one who’d lagged behind his deep-voiced co-conspirator, and the Southern accent throws Stan for a loop. His words suggest some kind of threat, but his gun-toting arm hangs limp at his side. “I — I didn’t want to do this, I really didn’t — but you’re becomin’ a danger, Ford, a danger to yourself and to everyone. And we — we’re here to stop you.”

“Wait!” Stan holds up his hands, dropping his Ford impression. “You’ve got this all wrong! Ford’s not dangerous, he’s in danger and I’m trying to —”

“Enough excuses!” the first figure barks, raising his gun. “IT IS UNSEEN!”

Blue light beams out of the contraption’s bulb, and Stan instinctively raises a hand to shield himself — but the light bends in midair, as if refracted by an invisible prism. It illuminates the clearing like a flash of lightning, but misses Stan by a mile.

“I told you to wait,” he whispers. He understands nothing about the bending of the light, yet somehow, could not be more certain that he alone had caused it.

“Ford?” the second figure asks, no longer sounding hesitant nor conflicted. There’s only one emotion in that voice, and it’s fear.

His companion, on the other hand, aims again without a word — and the light soars over Stan’s head as he falls to his knees, numb to the pain of the impact. Numb to everything except one thought, one single truth, easier to face than any sort of self-reflection on the power he held.

They think I’m Ford. They tried to hurt Ford. They tried to hurt Ford. They tried to —

He makes a fist with his right hand, and he sees the scene through a hundred new perspectives as sickly yellow eyes blink to life on every birch tree. He makes a fist with his left hand, and the forest comes alive.

The robed figures trip over gnarled roots, one of them even dropping his gun, but the trees continue to animate, trunks bending over and bare branches wrapping themselves around limbs. A wind whips through the grove as the cultists flail, begging as they make eye contact — not with the arboreal limbs ensnaring them, but with Stan’s body itself.

And Stan watches in both complete control, and complete disbelief of it all.

There’s a pressure against his skull, a dam about to burst after holding the flood of memories back for too long. There are leaks already, trickles of information and sparks of blue fire that chill him to his core, as images flash through his mind without coming from the birch trees, or even from his own lifetime.

Ford’s not the dangerous one. I am.

Ford’s the one who’s in danger.

Because of me.

The birches loosen their grip on the cultists, who flee the second they can shake themselves free. Stan’s left alone again, staring himself down with his hundred yellow eyes, and he can see guilt in every one of them.

He rises to a standing position, roots winding around his boots and bark creeping up his mud-soaked pants. He can’t face the world, he can’t face Ford, he can’t face himself knowing what he’s capable of, knowing that he’s the worst of all the monsters lurking in the woods —

As the trees of the grove reshape their roots and the ground shakes from the strain, the dropped gun bounces towards Stan’s feet.

It is unseen, he remembers one of the figures shouting.

He picks it up, inputs birch trees, and holds it to his head as he closes as many of his eyes as he can. Fire burns away his memories, and a deluge of ink-black water rushes in to absorb the ashes and fill their place.

***

Fiddleford McGucket runs for dear life with Ivan hot on his heels, until they reach the museum and barricade themselves inside an empty room, bracing themselves for pursuit. When it doesn’t come, Fiddleford enters a name into the memory gun, starting over several times after his trembling fingers betray him.

“Just — just another monster to erase,” Ivan stammers, “with a more human name than most.”

Fiddleford finally gets the spelling right. Two flashes of light with the input screen reading Stanford Pines, and memories of the day’s encounter — and then some — go up in flames.

It is unseen.

***

Stan is kneeling at the muddy base of an even muddier hill, surrounded by trees that look like they’re staring at him.

Or maybe, eyes that only blink when I’m — never mind. That’s ridiculous.

On the ground in front of him is a strange kind of gun, with a lightbulb in place of the barrel. He thinks he’s glimpsed some robed, vaguely cult-looking types carrying these around in town before, so after staggering to his feet, he smashes the device beneath his boot.

He has a feeling he’s forgetting something important again, but he can’t be bothered to try and remember again. He can’t bear to think about it any longer.

***

End notes:

This hill with the birch trees is the same one where Ford took a nap and first met Bill, so needless to say, Stan’s gut instinct about Ford not hiding any journals in a place like this was dead-on.

I have a lot more bonus content planned for this series, like the two-parter I alluded to in the earlier notes, but I’ve got no idea when any of that’s coming aside from a cautiously optimistic estimate of “later in 2020.” Once again, I’m so grateful for all the support you guys have given this fic from the beginning just over two years ago, to the “ending” exactly one year ago, all the way up through today :’)