#didn't try out for anything in college b/c by then it's like. i Really have no experience lmao even if i could do this myself

[unproduciblesmackdown]

love my own like theatrical relationship to shakespeare which is a) being so slow to realize like "oh, i've loved theatre? everyone doesn't just feel this way & go 'of course acting onstage would fucking kick ass' & adore rehearsals and hanging around backstage and in greenrooms and changing and performing & etc?' never really occurred to me" and b) my response to most encounters w/shakespeare being "wha" when it comes to anything granular yet the relevance still in the spirit of things lol

namely one prominent example being i was an on campus college student where said campus has a shakespearean theater literally three blocks away, and we had like a freshmen orientation weekly class there doing shit with actors and checking out the theater, not to mention like punchcards to see four shows free (to write up about afterwards but yeah sure whatever) and this wherein also you always got student discount tickets And there were pwyw performances....kicked ass. i went there for shows so many times. i have never fucking known what tf is going on in any of the like dozen shows i saw there when a) audio processing can be tricky enough for real life modern vernacular parsing and b) sure am not used to ye old very stylized language nor any other qualities of shakespearean material so lots of times when i finally started to kind of acclimate to the language it would be like "oh wait that was the conclusion? ok. hoorayyyyy" like also c) You Have A Great Time Seeing Shakespeare Productions Anyways like again i loved going anytime. it's Theatrical and if people are just putting their damn backs into delivering and performing the material it's An Experience even if you're really not following lmfao. and i suppose one can read the text / familiarize oneself beforehand

also like my first and really one of my only like regular theatre performing experiences was my literature class in fourth grade doing a few scenes from julius caesar. i was so hype for getting cassius like one of the most prominent roles? a guy? an antagonist if you're caesar or dante??? oh Fuck yes. b/c of technical difficulties we got to perform it twice in a row when we did a field trip to some other school to perform our respective [scenes from various shakespeare plays] altogether. even back then i was way into it and cared about stuff like "we have like no Effects to make it that dramatic when we kill caesar. or like, non silent. bit awkward" and "also i like, don't know how to act and am just winging it. and of course, i'm also like 9" like in theory i do like to know How to do something vs trying to make it up myself. somewhat lol. a balance, who can argue w/that

beyond that there's also lots of things i just didn't quite realize "counted" lmfao like, when you're a theatre gay with a parent req'ing you go to church every week but you have a good time being in the choir....i was sure on those tenor harmonies & singing loud. and going relatively often to various live theatrical events, having an engaging enough time there, but also would've assumed anyone would be into it And that that's not really the same as actually being in them, of course. but that most of my firsthand experience was just sticking w/ballet for like a decade, and kind of live theatrical performance adjacency there. don't say shit, for years was effectively just like, an ensemble for the occasional performances, but even then it's like hoorayyy i Love rehearsing and being onstage and backstage and dealing w/costumes and coordination behind the scenes and shit. and eventually being like, a distinct individual character in shows, so despite again nobody saying shit you're still somewhat interpreting and doing whatever character work while also enjoying the bennies of [it's dance, so also it's choreographed]....even more clear like oh i love backstage and rehearsing and behind the scenes and onstage and putting together stage character makeup, and i don't mind tackling technical difficulties, and etc etc. didn't even necessarily have the reference like, idk, wouldn't / doesn't everyone feel similarly. classic ye old memory of like being idfk 7 or some shit simply getting to walk with classmates behind a backdrop to the opposite wing of a stage, and loving that lmao. combines a love for [backstage] and [secret passages] type deal lol, big fan of these elements

also in 7th grade doing a theatre/drama class for a few months and we couldn't really get like all this in depth extensive stuff b/c you know, intro course for like 8 weeks for rando middle schoolers, but idk it was just illustrative lmao like after julius caesar, us slapping together some kind of script and my getting to be this fun little theatrical(tm) antagonist guy again? feedback was "what was supposed to be happening" but could've stood to have learned that the enthusiasm and affinity i felt for acting onstage was perhaps indicative of enthusiasm and affinity for acting onstage rather than just, idk, the exact kind of baseline experience any & everyone would have lol. not that i would've necessarily had the chance to really do anything with that knowledge, but even now, ofc i don't particularly anticipate getting to use it, but it's great having that knowledge like ohhh i see. the entire time i've been huge into doing theatre with all these kind of adjacent & gently overlapping brushes with it. gotcha

[1eoness]

professor!re4r leon fucking u.. i think (or at least wanting to fuck u)

cw content : leon size kink kennedy (jk) | sub-afab-fem-reader and dom!leon kennedy | age gap(ur 22 he's 27), leon masturbating, penetration, slightly weird ooc leon ♡

[to clarify, i am 18. anyone <18 and anyone >18 uncomfortable with interacting pls dni]

authors note bc i love rambling; btw i'm writing this in public at some boba cafe can u believe that lol im literally supposed to be studying but hwatever fuck it leon make me go blaahhhhhh. btw what do i call this? a fic?blurb?drabble? idklmfao by the way i have NO idea on how to write professor x reader shit so im sorrhy if this sucks ass.

synopsis : conflicted and flustered professor!leon kennedy of your local college struggles to improve his class' average because students like you—incompetent, airheaded, spoiled and klutzy— make it difficult for him :(

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

you heard the rustling of laptop bags and stationery as leon's students left for that morning lecture. though, they moved slow and drowsy; for leon is sure nowadays this generation can't afford to wake up at 6:00 in the morning to prepare for a 7 a.m. lecture on "deviance and crime control."

especially you.

kennedy is a sharp man. he harps on students even if they get a B on any assignment, but he swears it's on his tough love (to which a lot of students aren't really aware of, just that they know this stoic pretty-face of a man has high standards.)

he is also keen on attendance. something girls like you seem to take lightly. it was absurd, really. most professors don't give a shit, do they?

it would've been fine with leon if you missed lectures even twice a week as long as you emphasized your understanding of his lessons through putting stellar effort on your schoolwork. but the best you've gotten on his class was a B- drawing close to a C+.

so, he needs to have a chat with you. urgently.

"l/n, i need to speak with you." leon spoke, confrontative as his black jeans peered from your right peripheral vision. he stood tall beside the edge of the table where you sat. jesus, was he trying to give you a heart attack? (he always had this habit, he'd just pop out of nowhere. he has silent feet.)

yes, you may have missed his lectures from monday to thursday to go to macedonia with your family: but if leon were given the opportunity for a vacation he would snag it too, right?

you looked up at the young professor, wide-eyed and a bit intimidated. what the hell did you do this time? you closed your laptop, gave leon your full attention. leon has also noticed this about you; you're quick to pay attention but you have the memory span of a dumb rabbit. maybe even the IQ of one too, if leon was rude enough.

so you sat there, hands on your lap as you fiddled with the pleats of your blue plaid skirt. the color makes his heart beat a little—he loves the color blue. and the way it looked on you... wait, no. what the hell was he thinking?

"you couldn't even spare the few minutes to e-mail me that you'd be missing four- four, of my classes in one week." he emphasized with a slate tone, and the way his eyes peered down at you added that he needed your reasoning of the situation. he'd love to hear what you had to say for yourself. "i had to talk to your friend, ashley, for some clarification. even the president's daughter has the dignity to show up to my class with a verbal apology." leon scolded as his fingertips met the pages of your notebook. did you even care about his classes? :(

much to your chagrin, your lips were pressed in sheepish silence. hopeless, even. you didn't even have anything to say for yourself? how pitiable.

you simply can't miss class, that wasn't right! just because you thought you could hide in the shadows amidst leon's collective of 73 students (yes he counts), you aren't out of his eyes. in fact, you stood out to him even if you were just an incompetent scholar.

he sighed at your silence. "fair enough, an apology can't compensate for your lack of presence or decorum." he then placed your paper on the desk, you had gotten a D. you were never a bad student but this was your first D ever! your eyes widened and he caught on even though he could only see the crown of your hair. "surprised? because i'm not." leon uttered flatly while his pale fingers flipped through the papers right in front of you. you even spotted a few contractions— when did you even pass this?!

but you weren't a bad girl to him, no. you were capable of shame and guilt. you looked sideways, unable to meet his eyes and training your vision to the floor. you felt low, disappointing a professor that gave you numerous chances to break out of your awkward shell.

"you're a smart girl, you know that?" he finally sighed softly. he wanted you to look at him, make him another promise that you'll start putting effort in his class. he needed to maintain his class's average or else he'd prove he was an inept professor, and he can't do that when he lets 'students like you' get away with shabby attendance and subpar schoolwork. "i don't just give students chances. but that doesn't make you special." and it was true—he's voluntarily failed 6 of his students before. "you'll do something about this, right?"

"yes, professor kennedy.." you muttered modestly.

"hmm?" he hummed inquisitively as he took your paper back. he was willing to give you a chance. "listen to me. i'll give you the chance to redo your paper. i know when students rush their work and if i see even a hint of redundancy in it—i will take all my chances back. and you are never taking absences from my class. i don't want you entering even a minute late, or leaving a second early. i hope we're clear, l/n."

naturally, you were scared. so you nodded up at him after countless confirmations that you will do you work and that you'll show up to class no matter what. he has to use your word against you, he's sorry but it's for your own good.

once he was satisfied, he gave you a nod and turned his side, dismissing you. after all, leon was a busy man. you're not his only student.

it was when you walked out the building and then 20 minutes away from it that you felt like crying. you hated being scolded by him :( but just when you were about to go through your bag for your handkerchief, you were stuck with an inconvenient realization. you forgot your handkerchief.

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

leon just stared at the table where you sat from just now, backpack strap over his shoulders since he was just about to leave. he gripped onto either of them slowly as he stared down at your handkerchief in contemplation.

a twofold baby-blue hankie embedded with a subtle floral print. tentatively, he picks it up with his hand and examines it. for a minute his mind went blank, conflicting between chasing you and just returning it to you or to leave it by the lecture podium for her to retrieve tomorrow (when you hopefully attend his lesson again.)

..but blue was his favorite color.

"damn it." leon, with a barely audible mutter, shoved the handkerchief in his jacket pocket. he felt like the most guilty man in the world, poor boy.

...

leon sighed.

he wasn't celibate.

his hormones were in shambles once he got to his place. perhaps part of it was because he knew he hasn't graded the recent tests yet.

manspreading, tie loose, shirt stuffy and jeans undone while his hair wisped in slightly disheveled directions. cold breaths followed out his pretty mouth.

"nnn..fuck.. uhh-" leon whimpered into the baby blue cloth, laced with your perfume. he felt so guilty, so perverted. he shuddered every time he could see over the edges of the cloth, seeing his cream-leaking tip from previous orgasms spurt teasingly. "ahh- fuuuck, p-please-"

his grunts were high. he was close to crying, staining your pretty handkerchief with guilty-pleasure-ridden tears. spilled milk, it trailed down his pretty shaft as he pumped it over and over. his motive was you— you were just so fucking stupid and had so much naivete, it absolutely vexed him knowing how endearing you were.

until a slip of leon's mouth surprised him, earning a small squeak from him as he accidentally muffled your name in your cloth. "fuck, y/n- a-ahh.. u-uhh..hmfff.." he was frustrated; whining and cumming while his mind stirred with the thought of you and your pretty eyes and the photographic memory of your dumbstricken face.

he gave out a tired whine into the cloth, so, so close to crying his frustrations out. he just wanted to eat you. christ, and he was so hard for you it made his head ache..

he could only watch his girth that pulsed with white. he pried the sweet handkerchief off his lips, breathing roughly and wiping his tears. he felt so, so sorry for you. the color of the cloth looked exactly like the skirt you wore yesterday. and yet to top it off, he (ashamedly) wiped his cum off with your dainty cloth. oh, he's so sorry..

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

he didn't want to come to this point. or maybe he did and god was force-feeding him with culpability (he's atheist). he offered once to tutor you personally. one-on-one, no distractions. and so suddenly, someone's skirt was on his clean carpet floor..

your blouse draped over your shoulder and was pulled above your bra carelessly. he handled you with so much ease, squishing you into position while he tried to slowly push his thick length into your syrupy hole. you bit the knuckle of your thumb, and whimpered timidly that he was too big. but look where you were now.

"fuck- you're so- you feel so good.. shut up and take it all, yeah?.. hmmff-" there leon goes, harping you again. you were so loud but it wasn't even your fault, not when he was pistoning his cock into you and paying no hesitation to his pace. you were simply too sweet for him not to please. "sweetheart, hold onto me.." he mutters.

he was pushing every squeak and cute little wail out of his pathetic student, rutting his tip into that spot. "n-nnghh- aah!~" you were running low on words.

"yeah?- mhmm...ffuck, right here? huh?" the feeling of him thrusting against that spongy part more and more sent your mind further into autopilot. you were past squirming around and pushing him away, you just had to take it.. and take it.. and you were doing so good ♡.

"l-leoonn.. m-mm!- fffeels t-too good-" you babbled, mind stuffy with the pleasurably-shameful feeling of being gorged with your professor's thick girth. he shuddered at the way you uttered his name so adoringly. to leon you were so dirty but so, so cute. he had you puddled into tears beneath him while he fucked into your cute little hole with fervor. he just wanted to stuff you full, make you his, adore you forever.

he whined softly into your shoulder. you kept clenching down on him and it made him impossible to think. his phone was ringing on his bedside but he doesn't even give a shit—if anything he tried to drown it out by thrusting into you faster, to which made him lament into your skin. he even adjusted your hips up impossibly further.

"l-leeonn, n-no..— n-no more, please!!-" you blabbered adorably, voice mumbly and whiny as you clawed at his shoulders or back— you didn't know anymore.

"shhh shh.." he cooed over your cries with a quiet and honeyed voice, planting a soft kiss to where he could reach on your face or head. "i know, i know, it feels so good, hm?.. just let it feel good, baby—ahh, fuck-.. uhh..." he moaned lowly into your shoulder, unable to stop the way he rutted his cock into your creamed-up cunt. you seemed to be enjoying it, so why were you complaining? leon thinks to himself smugly but he knows he can't act on his pride. after all you made him like this—submitting to his carnal urges...

you didn't wanna cum a third time, huh? silly little girl.

leon growled quietly into the crook where your neck and shoulder met. you've never heard that sound from him. he held you down, constraining you, and squished you further into his mattress. a helpless and surprised yelp lolled out your tongue as he went impossibly quicker while he cursed like he was about to break down in tears. leon was mercilessly grinding his cock into all your sensitive spots, not letting your pleas of retort contest him. "fuckfuck- u-uhhh, take it, baby, c'mon... do it f'me, it's gonna feel so good-.. ahh!-"

he couldn't even finish his sentence—just piping his cum in you roughly as if he were proving a point, growling whinily along the way. he even kept fucking you shallowly while you were a dumb, sniffling mess with no sense of self-assertion as you creamed all over his shaft uncontrollably a third time. consecutive and quiet whimpers could be heard from you while you soaked in your overstimulation, needing him desperately to reassure you again through the overbearing pleasure of being pushed past what your cunny can handle.

"poor baby." he muttered to himself breathily as he gave the last of his tired, frustrated thrusts and pulled out of you; giving you the time to breathe while he pats your hair down comfortingly. his fluttering eyes finally closed as his head found refuge in your neck, slightly limp with exhaustion as he huffed cold breaths on the wet patches of your skin.

he pulled his head away after a minute of regaining what's left of his strength. leon looked down at you with subtle puppylike eyes, like he was sorry for ever being so harsh on you; even before he fucked the shit out of you. you quietly took your handkerchief to wipe some sweat off his neck— and his cheeks went a little rosy, remembering what he did to it that day you "lost" it ♡.

seems detergent can't wash something like lust away!

[margridarnauds]

what's grade inflation? why does it exist?

For more information on grade inflation, I highly recommend typing in "inflation" on AO3 and...

Sorry, have had no rest and very likely won't get much rest today, because no rest for the wicked...or grad students, so I had to get the cheap humor out of the way.

Grade inflation is, essentially, a system in place at many universities where the graders are heavily pressured into giving higher grades to their students. This is particularly prominent at elite universities, where Mommy and Daddy do not want Schnuggiekins to have anything as undignified as a B on their transcript when they are set to be a senator, but it is also common across the board, including in high schools and, joy of all joys, it is only getting more prevalent, as schools are essentially in a nuclear arms race to deliver higher grades, since it means they can say "Look! 98% of our students graduated with a 4.0!" It looks bad when students don't pass, so students *generally* pass no matter what. Doesn't that make you feel optimistic about the future?

And because it is common across the board at these places, that essentially forces conformity, because if you do NOT give them at least a B+...or sometimes an A-, you will get undergrads complaining about why you were mean to them, because the OTHER TAs would do the same, and student evaluations are VITAL to your career stability down the line. So, besides GENUINELY wanting to be seen as easygoing and relaxed (because, remember, if you're a woman in academia, you ALSO have to beat back the allegations of being a Bitch...and there have been numerous surveys done to indicate that student evals can be biased), it is also unfortunately...not MANDATORY, but something that I do feel heavily pressured by. People forget that the power dynamics between TAs and their students aren't always clear cut -- I'm in a position of authority, and I recognize that and am ALWAYS operating under that awareness, but they can also severely impact my career with student evals...and inconvenience my life if they decide to dispute a grade, such as when I had people emailing me on Christmas about why I gave them an A-. (The answer: Because they had earned, in my opinion, an A-.)

The result is that, functionally, I am grading, roughly, on a scale of B- to A, which means that my grades can't really reflect the nuances that can exist in these things. I have to put things that are "borderline grad student level work" alongside "well. you didn't do anything WRONG". (There have been occasions where they have gotten the Email Of Shame from me where I flat-out refuse to grade it.)

At my undergrad, in my community college (which people always like to act was some kind of...inferior education), if I handed in a paper with numerous typos, it would have been an A- at best. Potentially a B+ if my arguments were not up to the highest standard. I turn in an argument with no citations and not much of an argument...honestly probably a C? Maybe? I KNOW some of my professors would have refused to grade them. But I would feel pressured to give the same paper a B with a reminder to please cite their sources next time.

And, again: I do, genuinely, care for my students. I believe that, for the most part, they ARE trying their best. I don't enjoy being harsh on them, and I don't expect them to be writing at a grad level. I remember being an undergrad -- it isn't like it was that long ago, it's only been six years. I made a lot of mistakes. Including some very stupid ones. And I was lucky to have very patient professors who ALSO weren't afraid to call me out if I didn't do a good job. But, because of systemic issues beyond my control, I can neither give them a real wake up call so that they can improve OR truly reward them for outstanding work.

[girlwiththeobsessions]

love sick c. f.

this book has also been published on wattpad. same username as the one on here. i update faster on there.

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

you are adopted in this! y/n's parents were close with the fishers and conklins but died in a car accident, so laurel adopts y/n

part 2

i. the drive

ME AND MY FAMILY have been coming to cousins since i was a baby, since before i was born.

the tradition was, me and my mom would go to the summer beach house in cousins, along with my moms friends, laurel park and susannah fisher, and laurel's daughter and son, and susannah's two sons.

the beach house felt magical, every summer, i couldn't wait to return each summer.

most of the time, me and belly would tag along with the moms, mostly just my mom.

my mom would take us shopping a lot, and get us frozen yogurt after, then we'd go swimming.

laurel and susannah didn't really like to swim with us. that's what made my mom so special. until both of my parents died. when i was seven. in a car crash.

my parents were my whole world. i miss them everyday.

after that happened, i had to move from north carolina to pennsylvania with the conklin's.

from what i remember, i was pretty shut down for the next two years, and sad all the time, but eventually i got better.

laurel had taken me in with her, john, steven, and belly, and i had my last name changed to l/n-conklin.

i had found hobbies to cope with my parents death. in sixth grade, i had taken up soccer. in eighth grade, i started volleyball. now, as a junior, i was on my schools soccer and volleyball team.

i was pretty smart too, academically. with my grades averaging with a's and b's since freshman year. i wanted to go to college, my dream school was university of southern california, usc.

today though, was the day i returned to cousins for the summer, of course, i was excited. i was in belly's room, packing, with taylor jewel, me and belly were both close friends with her.

"drew's bummed you're missing the beach match with the boys team next weekend." taylor told belly, laying down on the bed, on her phone.

belly turned around. "uh, make sure tell sophie to square up for the block." belly tells taylor, ignoring what she said.

"drew martinez is texting me about you, and you're talking about volleyball?" taylor said with a surprised expression.

"drew doesn't care if i'm there or not, he wants an excuse to text you." belly denied, not really acknowledging the fact that she had a glow up basically. "and you better take this game seriously, i mean, team pride is on the line, taylor."

"please, you know me better than that." taylor looked up. "i would never let a boy beat me at anything."

belly and i laughed. "i thought you came here to help us pack." belly smiled.

"fine.." taylor got up. "i'll help. here's a tip, don't bring that speedo. it doesn't do a thing for your new boobs." taylor said with a a laugh, sitting on belly's bed, flipping through a magazine.

"it's not a speedo." belly defended with a frown looking down at the swimsuit.

"yes it is." i intervene, looking at my phone.

"we're just saying babes, like you need to pack cute things." taylor says flipping a page in the magazine she's reading.

"well, i always buy a new suit when i get there." belly tells us with a smile.

"okay, well, buy one that doesn't look like you're trying out for the swim team." i pressed.

"are you serious y/n?" belly giggled, flopping onto the bed and launching herself onto me.

"girls! were leaving in the next 10 minutes!" laurel shouted from downstairs.

"we got to go." belly said with a frown.

"no, we don't, we still have 10 minutes!" i told the two of them with a smirk.

we started laughing again, but once it stopped, we sat on the bed, belly on the floor, taylor switching to a more serious tone.

"okay, before i let you both go you both have to tell me your summer wishes. like the one thing that you guys want to happen this summer."

"i don't know." belly took a deep sigh.

"you little liar, yes you do." taylor giggled at belly.

"you want a hot make out sesh with conrad fisher, you want his tongue in your mouth, you dirty little slut!" taylor joked.

i shifted uncomfortably, trying to plaster a laugh. "taylor! ew."

"i'm just saying, i mean, you've been in love with him since we were twelve." taylor reminded her as belly got up.

"it doesn't matter what i do, he doesn't see me that way." belly frowned.

"oh, he'll see you." i looked at belly up and down. "whether he wants to or not. you look a lot different than last summer, belly."

taylor laughed, then turned to me. "what about you, y/n?"

i looked away. "what about me?"

"your summer wish." taylor reminded me.

"i don't know yet." i sighed. "i guess go to a lot of parties, and make more friends."

"no boyfriend? no fling?" taylor asked, a little confused. "come on y/n, a whole summer on the beach? no nothing?"

"oh wow, big deal, a seventeen year old that doesn't care about a boyfriend." i sighed again. "i guess i've never really been that interested in getting a boyfriend." i shrugged. "i have other priorities."

i did. i applied for a job as a lifeguard at the country club, to get some money for college. i wanted to apply to ucla, it was my dream school.

i always try to keep myself busy, keep myself doing something productive, and i think the job would help.

"girls, we're leaving now!"

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

during the drive, belly got shotgun, steven was driving, and i sat in the backseat with mom, which i didn't really mind.

the song 'can't do better' by kim petras was blasting, while belly sung along from the top of her lungs.

i unbuckled my seatbelt and spread my legs across the backseat.

"uh, can you guys turn it down a little?" laurel asked. "and, y/n, sit right."

i sighed and sat straight, buckling my seatbelt. "i want you guys to be better about helping out this summer." laurel told us.

"don't just leave your dishes, load them into the dishwasher. and, not just your dish either, steven. i want you to be good houseguests." she continued.

"mom, susannah has people who clean, doesn't she?" steven asked, curiously.

laurel flicked steven on the head. "steven!"

"owww!" steven complained. "alright, alright. sorry."

mom is weird about money, the fact that susannah has money, and we don't.

"just.. be considerate, and act like i raised you right. steven, y/n, that means don't stay out too late."

"mommmm!" we both complained.

"i'm too old for a curfew." i frowned.

"wait, what about me? i don't have a curfew either, right?" belly asked from the front seat.

steven started to laugh. "what do you need a curfew for? you don't go anywhere."

"steven!" i threw my phone charger at him. "don't be a jackass."

"what?" steven continued laughing.

"we'll talk about it when it comes up." laurel told belly.

"oh, and y/n, don't forget, you promised you'd take me driving." belly reminded me.

"belly, i told you i'd take you." laurel intervened.

"yeah, but.. you're too judgy." belly quietly said.

me and steven started laughing. "excuse me?" laurel asked.

"yeah, sorry." belly laughed too.

we parked in front of the gas station me, belly, and mom going in.

belly got some cheetos and sour patches. she opened the bag of cheetos and ate a few.

"belly!" i whisper-yelled.

"what!?"

"at least pay for it first."

me and belly looked over at the register, to see a guy staring at us.

"hey." he nodded his head.

i smiled and waved, while belly grabbed a coke, and we brought our snacks up to the register.

"what's up with you, y/n?" jumper said with a smile.

"jumper? i didn't know you work here now." i said in surprise.

he turned to belly. "who's this? are you new this summer?"

belly looked behind her, then back at jumper. "uh, me? no.."

"really?" he smirked, and scanned the snacks. "thought i knew every pretty girl in cousins."

"ew, don't flirt with my little sister, idiot." i warned him.

to be honest, i wasn't really fond with jumper. the way he sort of treated girls like they were objects just wasn't too appealing to me.

he rolled his eyes. "whatever. you both coming to the bonfire tonight? first of the season."

"uh.. maybe." i responded.

"come!" he encouraged us, then turned to belly again with a smile. "i'll introduce you to some of my friends."

"maybe i will." belly smiled back

i gave belly a quick side eye. "maybe she won't." i look back to jumper, trying to protect belly.

laurel walked up to us. "after i get settled in, you wanna go to whale of a tale with me, so i can presign stock for the signing tonight?" she asked belly.

"uh..."

"remember.. when you used to sit on my lap when i used to sign there?" laurel continued

"no, i don't.. remember that." belly chuckled.

"i'll make you a deal." laurel said, as we walked out. "i'll let you pick out tonight's desert if you come in and keep me company."

"see you later." jumped smirked at belly.

"what's later?" laurel asked, curiously.

"nothing." belly responded, a little too quickly.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

[cumsuga]

Wasted Times - A Valentine's Day Special

jungkook x fem!reader

genre: SMUT, fluff, angst, romance

warnings: Losing of virginities, Sweetboy!Jungook, fingering, Jungkook has a thigh kink lowkey, unprotected sex (Please be smart and be safe, use a condom), mentions of Plan B, choking, blood, I tried to make the first time fluffy

word count: 3k

18+(Minors DNI)

You set the last of your boxes in your dorm room. You look around the room triumphantly; you did it, you flew across the world to go to school, and thankfully you get to spend all four years here. You never thought you’d get accepted into Yonsei University because your extracurriculars were nothing extraordinary, just cheer and volleyball. Your dad was also so happy for you that he decided to pay your way through college only on the condition that you use your degree to find a job straight away after you graduate. Which you're okay with, it's the least you could do, considering.

As you're standing there taking in your victory, someone who you assume is your roommate comes in. She's gorgeous, almost too pretty to be an actual human. You're staring at her in bi-panic. 

"Hi, you're Y/N, right? We emailed about being roommates. It’s so nice to finally meet you!” She smiles brightly at you. She’s radiant and so damn attractive.

“Oh, yeah, Momo, right? Do you need help moving anything in?” She shakes her head and tells you her parents paid for the movers. 

“So we didn't really get to discuss a whole lot in email, but tell me more about yourself, Y/N” she plops herself on your bed, looking exhausted from doing nothing, but again she’s so pretty you’re absolutely distracted.

She props herself up on her elbows to look at you, “Oh well, uh, I just moved here from Y/C, and I’m double majoring in Korean and Business Administration, with a minor in Music Composition. What about you?” you unpack a box, and start setting up your side of the room.

“I’m Momo Hirai, obvi. I’m 19 and from Japan. My major is also Business Admin. I’m also in dance. Part of my scholarship is for dance, btw. OH! On the way up here, I heard there is going to be a huge party to welcome the frosh class. It’s two weeks after syllabus week. We should go.” You look at her with wide eyes. You’re not a huge partier, never having good experiences during high school. 

Honestly, high school was hell for you. It didn’t matter how affluent your family was; you being the ‘weird’ girl that liked anime and manga always made you the butt of everyone's joke, not to mention that you didn't really grow into your body until senior year. Then, everyone wanted you, but by then, you were over the high school bullshit and ready to go to college. So now here you are, and hopefully, things are different here.

“Well, I’m not much of a partier, but I’ll give it a chance, I guess.” You smile at her, setting your laptop on your desk. She's clapping her hands in excitement. 

Syllabus week flies by, and you’ve spotted a couple of cuties in your statistics class. One stood out more than the others. A few times, you caught him staring at you when you went to talk to your professor about assignments. His big doe-like eyes, so pretty and gentle looking, you decide to get his number. You walk up to him after class, trying to muster all the courage you need to talk to him.

You tap him on the shoulder, and the minute he turns around, your mind goes blank, “Hi, uh….” He's giving you an empathetic look but is smiling, waiting for you to say something, but you don't. The silence is getting awkward. So he speaks up.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook. I’ve seen you around. What's your name?” We cocks his head to meet your eyes that have been staring at his shoes since he started talking.

“I— I’m Y/N. I’m sorry, I’ve never really talked to a guy. before..” Your cheeks are the deepest shade of red. Who did you think you were? You tried to hype yourself up but failed miserably, and now you’re embarrassed.

“You’re so cute.” He chuckles sweetly, “You don’t have to be embarrassed or shy. I don’t bite.” 

You smile at him, finally making eye contact, “I was going to ask for your number. You’re kind of handsome, so I got flustered.” You're fidgeting absent mindedly.

“Making the first move, my kinda girl. Of course, I’ll give you my number. It's 82XXXXXXXXXX. I have to go now but text me. Maybe we can go on a date or something. Bye, Y/N” He smiles and then exits the classroom. 

Over the next few days, you and Jungkook text all day and all night, even falling asleep on facetime with each other. You like him a lot, so you ask him to accompany you to the ‘Frosh Fest.’ From what he says, it’s a week of partying and drinking; the college sponsors get everyone to mingle and unwind after the first couple of weeks on campus. The graduating class is the host and usually the one to plan the festival. You tell him you don’t drink much, so it’d be nice to have someone you could talk to there because Momo tells you her girlfriend is flying from Japan to see her, having taken a gap year to travel. 

The week of the festival comes. You and momo are in your dorm room getting ready when Jungkook calls, “Hi, I think I’m outside your room. Are you ready?”

You get giddy and immediately open the door, and there he is, the most beautiful man you’ve laid your eyes on. In all black, a myriad of tattoos peaking out of the cuff of his jacket. You’re also wearing all black, your luscious thighs peeking out of a black miniskirt. And you watch his eyes rake over you stopping on your thighs for a little longer than the rest of your body.

“God... you look… Magnificent.” He swallows thickly, mouth watering at the sight of you.

You spin in a circle pouting slightly. “Really? I don't think I care for the skirt. Come in, though. I think I might change.” He joins you and momo in the room before she tells you that her girlfriend is downstairs waiting for her, so she leaves.

You start going through all your skirts before deciding on a black Louis Vuitton wool mini skirt. “You mind if I change?” looking over at him, he’s blushing. Looking like a tomato, “You okay?”

“Uhm yeah, I’m fine. We’ve just never seen each other… naked.” He awkwardly adjusts on the bed, and you smile, throwing a pillow at him.

“You dork, I have shorts on under this.” Then a thought crosses your mind; maybe you want him to see you naked, be your first. Yeah, you know you’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks, but you feel comfortable with him. He’s never once pressured you for anything sexual, nor has he ever touched you before asking. He was a true gentleman, and you knew it.

“Unless you wanna see me naked..” You move to stand between his legs, “Is that what you want, Koo?” You gingerly slot your fingers through his hair, and he nods. “Take it off for me?” His fingertips ghost over your thigh, leaving burning goosebumps in their wake.

You shudder at his touch, every stroke going straight to your clit. His hands slip under your skirt to pull your safety shorts down. “First, let's get rid of these, yeah?” he squeezes your thigh, groaning at how soft the flesh is. "Where do you want me to touch you?"

You moan softly at the motion, “I… I don't know, Koo… anywhere.” he untucks your shirt from your skirt, splaying his hand across the pudge of your tummy.

“Here?” he asks, moving his hand to your breastbone, fingers fiddling with the front clasp of your bra. You nod sheepishly, cheeks and ears heating up. He hastily takes your shirt off and tosses it aside. “So pretty, always thought you were pretty. I couldn't stop staring at you when I first laid my eyes on you in class—imagining how you’d look on your knees in front of me, choking on my dick. I know you’d look so fucking beautiful blowing me.” you’re clenching around nothing, eyes glazed over in lust. Jungkook knows what he’s doing.

“Can I ask you something?” eyeing him lazily, ready for him to touch you for real.

“Anything, baby girl.” he leans in, leaving open-mouth kisses on your tummy. Looking up at you as he does.

You cringe at the initial contact of his mouth, legs starting to feel like they’re going to give out. “Are you a virgin?” he stops what he’s doing, bringing you back down from the cloud you were just on.

“I mean, I’ve had my dick sucked, but I’ve never been inside someone, so technically, yes. Are you?” You nod quickly, getting shy all over again. “That's fine with me, but I don't have condoms... So I was just–”

“I’m on the pill!” You blurt out. You don't want him to stop. You want to feel him. He makes you feel safe and protected.

His head snaps at you, and he chuckles softly, “Well. I’m clean, the campus does free STD screenings every other month, and I got checked about 2 months ago and haven't been with anyone since. So if you’re okay with it, I am too. We can buy Plan B in the morning.” You nod again. 

“O–okay.” You’re shy again, so he coos at you.

He pulls you to straddle him, “So funny, baby girl, you were the one to initiate, and now look at you, all shy and blushy.” He leans in to kiss you, your first kiss. You feel electricity light up your body and you hope he feels it too. 

You shift on his lap, accidentally creating friction for you both, causing you to moan into his mouth and for him to grip your ass. Fingernails leave crescents in your skin. “Stand up.” He moves you, and you stand. When you get up, his lips find yours helping you get undressed, and you do the same. When you're both in nothing but your underwear, he picks you up and gently lays you on the bed.

“Listen to me, okay? If you ever feel uncomfortable with anything, just tell me, and I’ll stop. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for the both of us, and I don’t wanna do anything to hurt you.” he cups your cheek, looking into your eyes, looking for the slightest bit of doubt. When he doesn’t find it, he goes back to kissing you slowly, making your clit throb.

His hand plays with the little pink bow on the front of your panties, “Can I touch you?” You agree, and he slips his hand into your panties, fingers slipping quickly between your folds, “Fuck you’re soaked... That's so fucking hot. All I did was kiss you. Shit.” You snap your thighs together when he finds your clit. “You like that?”

“Yeah.. feels good..” you begin to squirm under his ministrations. He’s just watching you, the way soft moans leave your mouth, making him hard. 

“Can I put one in?” fingertip prodding the tight hole of your entrance. You nod feverishly, and he pushes one in slowly.

You groan at the feeling. Burning and slightly uncomfortable, but you know you'd have to get used to it. “You okay?” you feel his palm bump your clit, and you tell him you’re okay, that it just burns a little. “Well, baby, that's cause you’re so tight. I’m gonna wait for a little before I move my finger. Let me know when it stops burning, okay?”

You give him the go-ahead, and he begins to fuck his finger into you slowly while his thumb rubs lazy circles on your clit. You're squirming under him and moaning into his mouth while he kisses you. Eventually, he adds a second finger going a little harder this time, and you can feel this heaviness in the pit of your stomach. He hits a particular spot in you that causes the loudest moan to leave your mouth.

“Keep doing that. That's good. I like that. It feels so fucking good.” He keeps curling his fingers into you, beckoning your impending orgasm, and after a few minutes of him finger fucking you like that, your orgasm hits you. You bite him, moaning into the crook of his neck, legs shaking as you come down.

“You look so pretty when you cum. I could watch you do that forever.” He pulls his fingers out and pops them in his mouth, moaning at your taste. “I could also taste you forever.”

Your cheeks rose and you move your hand to touch his dick and squeeze it too hard, causing him to pull his hips away. “Too hard, baby, don’t squeeze too hard.” He guides you on how to touch him, and when you find a good rhythm, he's a moaning mess, lashes fluttering.

“Should we try it now?” You ask him, and he looks over to you, jaw slack from you, jerking him off. “I want to feel it inside me..” hiding your face in his chest, he moves to hover over you.

“Okay, I’m not going to lie to you. I might not last long.” He moves to look at what he's doing, and you watch as he lines himself up with your entrance. “You ready?”

You nod, and he struggles a little before finding your entrance and pushing himself in. Both of your moaning softly in unison. “Go slow... It burns a lot.” Unfortunately, Jungkook was girthy and long. The stretch was going burning regardless of how slow or fast he went. He bottoms out and stays there for a bit. His breath shaky in your ear.

“You’re clenching so hard. It feels too good. I’m trying so hard not to nut right now.” He licks and sucks on your neck to distract himself. “Good, I just know you got good pussy. Gonna make me fall in love with you.” Your heart flutters at his last words. No one has ever associated you and being in love together. You know it’s stupid, but you can’t help but fall for him.

You kiss him, which he takes as a sign to start moving inside you. He’s fucking you slowly, ensuring you feel all of him. He finds that kissing you distracts him from how wet and tight you are. You’re like his little slice of heaven right now, and he wants to savor the cake. At this point, he knows he's gonna have scratch marks all over his back with how much you’re clawing at him to keep him close.

“Yeah, that feels good. I like feeling you inside me.” You keen in his ear softly as he picks up his pace, watching your face contort in pleasure. You're so fucking hot to him, so sweet too. He likes you and thinks he’s dumb for the thought, but he could see himself with you forever. 

“You’re taking me so fucking well, baby girl. It’s like this pussy was made for me.” He’s thrusting into you like a wildman. The burning has been replaced by pure, 100% pleasure. He’s right. It’s like you were made for him. Immediately taking all of him with almost no problem. 

“Yeah, made for you... Only you. Ruin me, make me yours.” He stills inside you, looking at you in awe.

“You’re… You’re fucking nasty. Holy shit, you're so fucking hot. Can I choke you?” You nod, and he raises his hand to choke you, grip on your throat just enough to throw you right over the edge. Clenching around him like crazy, you feel him twitching inside you, his hips starting to thrust into you lazily. He thrusts into you a couple more times before he coats your walls in his seed. He collapses on you, both of you breathing heavily, lying there in silence.

“How was it?” You ask him, running your fingertips up and down the dip of his spine. He kisses your cleavage. You feel so blissful, and even if he doesn't respond, you think you could lay like this forever.

“It was good, like really good.” He sits up, and his lower half is coated in a mixture of cum and blood, and his eye widen. “Oh my god, are you okay? This is a lot of blood.”

You’re calm and collected, unlike him, “You broke my hymen, and I’m sure you ripped me a bit. I mean, your dick is big, and I’ve never had sex before. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Let's get cleaned up and head to the festival?” You move to stand, but your legs are wobbly, and your pussy is sore.

Nonetheless, Jungkook is super gentle in getting you all cleaned up, making sure to get the spots where the cum has dried up on you. You two eventually collected yourselves enough to get to the festival. You two have the best time, and you come out of your shell with him. Getting along with his friends and their girlfriend. 

After a month of dating, Jungkook asks you to be his girlfriend, and of course, you say yes. Junior year Jungkook asks you to move in with him as he will graduate soon, and he doesn't want your relationship to end over it. You tell him you can’t because while your dad adores him, he wants you to focus on school and graduate before moving in together. You assure him you'll go to see him every weekend you are free. Senior Year, the day after graduation, Jungkook asks again, and you agree because now you can be together freely. A year after moving in together, he proposes to you, stating he’s in love with you and wants to be with you forever, among other beautiful words. You turn him down, telling him you two are still too young to settle down, you being 21 and him being 23. You tell him you’re his, but you’re not ready for that kind of commitment yet, and woefully he accepts your rejection. After another year of living together, Jungkook starts his business, and you two buy a home together. You start at HYBE as an assistant, and things are so shitty you fall into some bad habits. But let’s see where life takes you.

AN: please send me your thoughts on this and the first two parts I need some constructive criticism if you have it, my inbox is open. thank you all for enjoying the first two. I'm having a lot of fun writing these!!!

© @cumsuga 2016-2024. All rights reserved. — Unauthorized use or duplication of these works, including reposting, translating, and modification in any form, is strictly prohibited. DO NOT USE MY CONTENT FOR ANY AI PURPOSES WHAT SO EVER

credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers

[kpopscruggles]

its 🏳️‍🌈 anon here im on vacation so im gonna tell this pent up frustration cause i cant jerk off huhu (gonna make it gay and i cant write so sorry)

a. part time gym trainer college student sungchan surprised that his classmate/crush walk into his gym and having to touch his crush because hes in love with a twink that has never hold a weight before. it ends with a drink or dare where his crush dared sungchan to do push ups and every push up he tries to say his crush's name and after he did it 20 times sungchan dares his crush to do crunches while moaning his name for 20 times

"come on yn u could do more than 5" sungchan said holding your legs while you are laying down obviously red and sweating. sungchan tried his best not to fuck you right then and there.

seeing you struggle do your 6th crunch made sungchan go feral "sungc-" sungchan kisses you passionately

"god i love your voice. but i love shutting you up more"

b. school heartbreaker heeseung (idk if u like enha much but hesjdjjf) always winning his football fuck list competition where they pick a name from a fish bowl and get them to fuck then before finals. with a team full of visuals its not hard but it turned into a challenge when the team decided to prank heeseung's last time playing the game as a senior.

"dude wtf why did you wrote y/n. hes a man!" hee protested

"oh come on dude its obvious how much you wanna fuck this man" jake replied

"DUDE EWW? im not gay + hes a really nice person hes cute hes hella smart hes fun to talk to he does this cute smile when hes especially talking to me an-"

"uh huh the guy youre talking about thats "not ur crush" is right over there" jake put emphasis on not ur crush with finger quotes

oh fuck. hes cute. was all he said on his head when he saw yn

"damn heeseung thought you would last longer than that?" yn said but heeseung just blanked out remembering the first time he saw you before doing the game

"heeseung?" "i love you" it was yn's turn to blank out as all he hesrd after that was a slurs of i love you while heeseung messily drove yn to his high

c. its hard being alone in your 20s especially with drowning yourself in your work while having no one to share anything with: your problems, your success, everything. and its really bad when you have no social life because you cant rant to someone about your two hot buff dilf neighbors who live together.

"they're prolly not into me im a twink theyre daddies maybe thats why they live together" you said over and over again while trying to not look at your neighbors infront of you wearing nothing but sweatpants

"eyes up here sweetheart" sunghoon said

"yk if you want this you could just ask" sungchan said while pointing on his yk what

d. drunk yn has been ranting to his best friend sungchan about his single life, he had always done this but its new years and sungchan is sick and tired of yn's shenanigand

"yn really again? yk what suck it" he opened his jeans and showed his dick thats bulging from his underwear

"are u fucking serious?" yn asked

"deadass. im sick and tired of you ranting that youre a single virgin every year. especially when i could be the one to solve that problem"

"what?" good thing yn didn't heard the last part sungchan said

"are you gonna suck it or not?"

thats all i got 😵‍💫😵‍💫 IDK IF ITS RVEN OK

Sungchan is DEF NOT hiding the fact that he’s enjoying every moment of his name coming you your mouth!!! And when your doing crutches he’ll hold your feet but end up just running his hands up your hips “cmon baby keep up…you can’t grow weak just yet” and his hands with just fiddle with the waistband of your shorts!!! Seeing you struggle would also kill him untill he just smiles “take a rest, you’ll need some energy for what I’m gonna do to this cute body of yours”

Heeseung!!!!!! (I love this plot and yes I love enha) this is definitely something he then can’t go without! He’ll become feral to the point that if you two begin dating or not he’s gonna brag ab you, ab how you make him a cum covered mess, he doesn’t care!!! After every game he’s fucking you because that’s how you give him a lil reward!!!! CAR SEX AFTER PRACTICE!!! He’s just annoyed that his coach was being a dick and just rails you in the backseat of his car while ranting to you at the same time 😭😭

“You wanna see it up close?” Sunghoon would go fucking feral too see you drill over his cock, especially while it’s just in sweatpants “I can give you a little peek if your be a good boy for me, can you do that baby? Hmm?”

Sungchan will just slowly pump his cock “go on, I know you want too which pisses me off even more that I still have to hear you complain..”

[practically-an-x-man]

AHA, get ASKED!! This is also making me realize I need to send you more funky asks again. Hmm. Anyway, get a whole bunch all in one :3

For Quinn (as a person):

5, 7, 15, 25

For her ship:

P and X

For Jimmy (as a person)

1, 18, 21 and 22

And for YOU🫵

🎬, 🤖 and 🤯

Thank you so much!!

OC/Ship Ask Game: Firsts

Quinn:

5. First time breaking a bone

She was about 8, and was at recess with her classmates and was dared to jump off the roof of the shed (where all the sports equipment was kept). She tried to roll on landing because someone told her that was the safe way to do it, but landed hard on her wrist when she tried and broke her arm. All she really remembers was how fun it was to jump off the roof, and how her parents got mad when she asked for a pink cast (they made her get a plain white one, and she colored all over it with markers anyway)

7. First time they experimented with their personal style

She didn't really have a rebellious period until she was in college, since her parents didn't really allow her to. And I think I've told this story before, but when she got to college, she went to see a drag show with a few friends and that led to her realizing she was trans. I think her first real experimentation came from that - trying out some hyperfemme styles back when she still thought she was just "trying drag", realizing she was female, then finally settling into her more punk style once she was comfortable with that realization.

15. First thing they remember feeling proud of

She was raised to take a lot of pride in her studies, though schooling didn't come naturally to her (they were plenty smart and clearly knew the material, but couldn't focus when they were cooped up behind a desk). She remembers feeling proud of her first aced exam, since she was otherwise more of a B and C student.

25. First major success in their story

Honestly, I'd say getting away from their parents and stumbling into their first pickpocketing gig. It's not really presented as a success in the context of the story, since she's so emotionally uprooted at the time, but as a whole it's what spurs her into the best periods of her life.

P. First time seeing the other all dressed up

They didn't have the opportunity or money to really dress up while in the Wolf Pack, so I think it was probably once they were with the Ghosts. One had them all dress up nice for one of the missions, and Quinn honestly had a great time going dress shopping with Two and Five (not her first time shopping for dresses, but definitely her first time wearing anything so fancy/formal).

It didn't look like a huge deal to the rest of the team, since they were all so focused on the mission at the time, but as soon as they got back to the Graveyard... you can probably guess how the rest of that story goes.

X. First major hardship they got through together

They went through a lot of hardships managing the Wolf Pack together - injuries, botched missions, team drama, you name it - but if you're talking about the first hardship they get through as a couple... it's probably learning to navigate around Quinn's disabilities. Because they'd known each other so well before the accident, there were a lot of physical routines and rhythms they had to relearn, as well as a lot of ingrained guilt and embarrassment to sort through. It's definitely a shift from what they were used to, and it took a while before they really fell back into sync with each other.

____

Jimmy:

First big aspiration (i.e. what did they want to be when they grew up?)

He wanted to work with animals, and specifically to discover new species like Charles Darwin did. Obviously, only one-half of that worked out (he did work with animals), but he's still satisfied with that.

18. First example of real character growth along their journey

After his death, it was hard for him to connect with people (both physically, since he's a ghost, and emotionally, since he had such a traumatic and bigotry-motivated death), and we do see him start to reach out again over the course of his story.

21. First major change in their life, and how they dealt with it

His family went through some financial ups and downs, especially based on the job market. One of the biggest changes Jimmy remembers is a new family moving into the spare room of their condo - he was too young to realize his parents were subletting the place to make a little extra money, he just knew that all of a sudden his house was very crowded and he didn't really like it. It was one of the things that spurred him into his love of reading, since he'd escape off to the library when he needed a little more peace and quiet.

22. First introduction in their story (share a snippet or description)

A-ha! I'm actually really proud of this one, because I don't actually start HIYH with Jimmy's, or even Lars' POV! The first chapter is this sort of dramatic, folklore-y introduction about the ghosts of Coney Island, and I think it sets a really neat atmosphere for the rest of the story. Here's Jimmy's introduction:

Perhaps the most peculiar is the ghost of a young man named James Luciano. He walks the fair with a smile on his face and a wound gushing blood, appearing as tangible as any living human but soon vanishing without a trace. On his more daring days, as the stories suggest, he’ll appear to bachelors at the carnival booths and ask them to win him a prize. History states that he died in the year 1915, shot straight through the heart by a jealous ex-lover while floating through the Tunnel of Love. History rarely tells the truth.

____

🎬 - First fandom(s) you wrote for, and if you still write for them

Technically I wrote a 5-page fic in the Terfy Wizard Fandom when I was like 11 and didn't even realize what fanfic was. Other than that, it was X-Men, which I ABSOLUTELY still write for.

🤖 - First nonhuman character you wrote

Again... I started writing X-Men, so if you count mutants as "nonhuman", then it would be my OC Mira Hart. If that doesn't count... idk, Robin has a pet cat named Yoda?

🤯 - First story that gained traction/attention, and how it made you feel

Oh man, Catch and Release gained a ton of traction right after I first started posting it, and it was a huge shock to me. I remember intentionally making the decision to just start even though I usually let my stories marinate a bit before I write them, because I wanted to take advantage of the No Way Home hype before it died, but I didn't expect that to actually work! I actually started getting regular kudos and comments (they've since slowed down significantly, but there was a big spike at the beginning), and it was outrageously surprising to me.

[barenecessiteas]

I've done it, I gave in. Here's your NSFW Alphabet for Luis Sera under the cut.

Let the record state that, again, I'm not a writer so I'm well aware this post sucks. Just fucking around and having a little fun 🙃

Also I'm tagging a few people who replied in the last post about about wanting this written. I hope you guys don't mind and that you get a kick out of this!

@jessy-the-martian-girl @angi-writes-filth @ravenrune @margexoxo

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I feel like, at first, he wouldn't go above and beyond afterwards. He'd definitely help you clean up a little, make sure you're alright. You would have to specifically tell him about anything you'd want to do after, he just doesn't think of it on his own.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, he likes his hands. Cuz he knows how to use them 👀

On his partner - tits. We all saw this coming. He's a ballistics man. He loves being able to fondle, kiss, lick, nuzzle, etc your chest. While he'd have a lot of fun with someone who part of the big titty committee, he doesn't care whether they're big or small. He just likes being able give your chest lots of attention.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He's not used to using protection all that much. They def didn't have any in the village so he didn't really know what his options were until he went off to college. Overall he prefers being able to cum in you, he's more than happy to use protection if you're uncomfortable with that!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This one was really hard to come up with because I don't Luis has any sort of filter with this stuff.

After realizing he likes you (after a very long time of trying to convince himself it's just physical attraction), it just makes him want you even more. So he ends up finding one of your shirts/hoodies and steals it for a bit so he can jack off and pretend he's holding you instead. But he will never admit that out loud. He's got a reputation as Mr. Cool to uphold, he's taking this shit to the grave

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows what he's doing. He's been around, he's a ho and a half. Majority of it was from flings/one-night stands, but there were a few short-term relationships in there. So yeah, Luis is definitely experienced.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

While he loves anything that gives him the freedom to have his hands all over you, he particularly likes spooning, having you ride him, or just missionary. As long as Luis is free to smother you with affection, he's in heaven.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

This man doesn't know how to shut up (and I love him for it), so yes he's gonna be making a sarcastic/teasing comments here and there. Luis does know when to be serious, so he wouldn't say anything if it didn't fit the mood.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't really care. He'll maybe trim every now and then, but it's not something he worries about. And this extends to you too, he literally does not care whether you shave or not.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's a true romantic at heart, so intimacy is very important. Even with flings he's had in the past, Luis values at least making sure both you and him have a good time. And like I said before, he can't keep his hands to himself, so he'll be constantly pulling you close, stroking your cheeks, running his hands through your hair, and kissing you throughout it all.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

To be honest I don't see him as the type to masturbate that much, only because his first inclination would be to hook up with someone. Has he done it before? Absolutely. But he doesn't do it often since it's not quite as enjoyable as actual sex

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Hair pulling. Please please please run your fingers through his hair and tug on it. He loves that shit. Not to the point where you like rip strands out but he adores the feeling of it. Plus, to him, it's a sign that you're thoroughly enjoying yourself lol

Luis loves marking too. Nothing too severe, just love bites and hickeys around your body, especially on your neck. He thinks you look so pretty like that, he can't help himself.

And idk what this would be called specifically, but nothing gets him going like seeing how fucked out you get. Partly because he loves you and wants you to enjoy yourself, and partly because he's got a huge ego and out goes right to his head when he thinks "Yeah I'M the one that's doing that to you" especially with overstimulation and/or edging.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Overall, Luis prefers being at home so that he can take his time with his partner. The most important thing to him is you and your comfort, so he'd never do anything in places where you didn't feel comfortable doing anything. He just wants you to feel comfortable and safe 🥺

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When I tell you it is so easy to turn this man on.... He's got self control, don't get me wrong, but Luis is constantly ready to go. Long make out sessions, seeing you get dressed or wearing more revealing clothes, just lounging around with you for a long time, he adores you so it's super easy to get him motivated.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't see him being into any BDSM, bondage, hitting, anything that would hurt you in anyway. Like I said, he's romantic at heart, and it just isn't his style. Spanking is fine with him, but he doesn't think to do it much.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Luis can't decide which one he likes better, he just can't decide. On one hand he loves looking into your eyes and playing with your hair while you suck him off. On the other hand, knowing he can drive you crazy with just his tongue goes straight to his ego.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

In general he goes with whatever you like, but he prefers to go slower and draw everything out. He doesn't want the fun to end too soon. Although, it's not unheard of for Luis to change it up through the act just to tease you 😈

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Luis will never say "no" to a quickie but they aren't his first thought either. Like I said before, he enjoys taking his time with you. You'd probably have to be the one to initiate it, he just doesn't really think of it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

I touched on this a bit before but physical risk or harm is a huge no for him. Since Luis is so focused on just being with you in the moment and making sure you both feel good, he won't really do much in terms of doing anything in public. Tho this plays into quickies, he's more than fine with going somewhere modestly private but technically in public, like an empty room or a closet or whatever. The slight chance/idea of getting caught is excited, but he never wants to actually be caught for real.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I see him lasting 1 round because of his tendency to go at it for a while. Trust me, this man while last a long time. He will take his sweet time with you until neither of you can stand it anymore.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Luis is pretty indifferent. As I keep saying, he's cocky af (shocking I know), so he prefers being able to make you feel good all by himself. He's certainly not opposed to you using them, especially if he's not around, but he really doesn't use any on himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh my fucking God this man is ✨E V I L✨.

He loves edging you and overstimulating you. When I tell you he will do that until both of you absolutely can't stand it, I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. How can he resist when you look so cute begging him for more?

However, I don't see him being able to restrain you, at least not very much. Maybe he'll hold your hands over your head for a little bit to mess with you, but he's so touchy that he won't be able to do it for very long. Luis would definitely never last if you tried to restrain him in anyway either. He'll try to play it off but really he's just dying to hold you even closer.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

So he's not loud but he's definitely vocal. Most of it is praising you, telling you how much he loves you, generally any dirty talk. Luis loves whispering sweet nothings into your ear. But you'll definitely hear some groans and sighs throughout it all too.

He wants you to be vocal, too. Not necessarily loud (though he's definitely not complaining if you are). He just wants some form of noise out of you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When he gets really close or just really into what he's doing, he'll unintentionally start talking in Spanish (assuming it's not your first language). Sure, he'll whisper little phrases and words to you in Spanish every now and then, but when he's completely blissed out, it's all you're gonna hear.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I can't believe I'm actually writing this oh my god.

Slightly on the thinner side, little on the longer side but not to the point where it's scary. That is all, you guys can let your imagination flow from here 😉

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Moderate, I'd say. He's not so horny that he'll constantly get turned on in public at every little thing you do. But when you're both alone together it's a lot easier for him to get desperate for you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

When I tell you this man passes tf out afterwards... Sometimes he likes to have a cigarette after (yeah he's one of those guys) but he feels so relaxed and content after that he just immediately wants to pass out with you in his arms. That's the biggest reason I see him not doing a ton of aftercare is just because he goes unconscious lmao

[jetwhenitsmidnight]

Skater Boy by Anthony Nerada

Source: Audiobook ARC from NetGalley

Release date: 6 February

Genre: young adult contemporary romance

If you like: queer coming of age, explorations of toxic masculinity, pop-punk, flawed protagonists trying to be better, Sk8ter Boy by Avril Lavigne but gay

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Synopsis

Stonebridge High’s resident bad boy, Wesley “Big Mac” Mackenzie, is failing senior year—thanks to his unchecked anger, rowdy friends, and a tendency to ditch his homework for skateboarding and a secret photography obsession. So when his mom drags him to a production of The Nutcracker, Wes isn’t interested at all . . . until he sees Tristan Monroe. Mr. Nutcracker himself.

Wes knows he shouldn’t like Tristan; after all, he’s a ballet dancer, and Wes is as closeted as they come. But when they start spending time together, Wes can’t seem to get Tristan out of his head. Driven by a new sense of purpose, Wes begins to think that—despite every authority figure telling him otherwise—maybe he can change for the better and graduate on time.

As a falling out with his friends becomes inevitable, Wes realizes that being himself means taking a stand—and blowing up the bad-boy reputation he never wanted in the first place.

Content warnings

Explicit language

Bullying

Alcoholism

Underage drinking

Racism (as experienced by a Black love interest)

Past domestic abuse

Childhood trauma

Smoking (cigarettes + weed)

Homophobia

Physical violence

Review

Why'd Wes have to go and make things so complicated 😔🤘

I hadn't expected to, but I found myself relating to Wes quite a bit. His experience of being labelled as a bad kid, and then only being seen as such without being given the chance to break that expectation, as well as his feelings of anger and fear and powerlessness, that no one wants to listen to him, that he can't open up to people, that he's inferior and will never amount to anything, took me right back to primary and secondary school lmao. (I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore.)

I also empathise with how awkward Wes feels around Tristan, or when he's trying to talk to people who aren't his friends; not knowing the right thing to say, or when he says something that comes off as angrier or meaner than he intends—that's literally me, baby!

A part I don't relate to is the bullying. Wes is like, a legit bully, like pushing kids into the lockers like in american high school movies kind of bully. While he's not the main aggressor among his friends, it still kind of hurt to read about how he hurt people in the past. I liked how his character arc developed, with him facing up to his actions and apologising to his victims, although I do think he was forgiven pretty easily; I personally would have held a grudge until I died, but good for them!

At the start of the book I was worried that this would be a whole "find a bf and magically all your problems are fixed!" kind of story, but while Tristan is definitely a motivating factor for Wes to improve himself, I really appreciate that Wes was the one who decided to take initiative and begin the first steps to becoming better.

There's layers of complexity to Wes and Tristan's relationship, because (a) Tristan is Black, and so deals with racism that Wes could never understand, (b) Tristan is out and Wes is not, (c) Tristan is a perfectionist and has a goal and life plans, while Wes is flunking high school with no plans to apply for college, (d) Wes had an abusive childhood, and Tristan has loving supportive parents, and (e) Wes is poor and Tristan is wealthy.

These are a lot of issues to handle in one book, and while I feel like the author does a good job discussing and resolving most of these elements, there's one point that I feel didn't get fully resolved, and that's the wealth disparity between them. Wes is super aware of this, he constantly notices the differences between the way they live, which makes him feel self-conscious around Tristan.

Spoiler warning, but at one point Tristan dresses Wes up in like a pricey cardigan and a polo shirt to meet his parents, and later Wes is furious and leaves early because he feels out of place and insecure, and that Tristan is trying to change who he is. Later, they talk and Wes comes to the conclusion that he was over-reacting, which, yeah, he was. But Tristan never apologises and is like "you know I would never have made you change your clothes if I knew it would make you feel bad!" He also makes fun of one of Wes's friends, and Wes wonders if part of the reason why he doesn't want to introduce Tristan to his friends was because he felt embarrassed.

I feel like this is a pretty big deal, and an obvious source of tension, that doesn't seem to get fully resolved. Most of Wes and Tristan's discussions about their relationship revolve around Wes apologising, but Tristan, even though he never does so intentionally, never apologises for making Wes feel inferior in this aspect.

I also feel that Tristan was kind of one-dimensional. From Wes's perspective, Tristan is perfect and flawless, and he puts him on a pedestal, while Wes is the one messing up. Tristan's only flaw, as far is I can tell, is that he struggles with anxiety, but he never seems to show it to Wes, for all that he encourages Wes to be emotionally vulnerable with him. I would have liked it if Tristan messed-up, or needed Wes to support him or comfort him in some way (Wes does support him, at near the ending, but that doesn't really count), to balance out their relationship a bit, instead of always having Tristan encouraging him, and having Wes mess up and make up for it.

The climax of this book gets really chaotic, huge shit goes down, like life-ruining shit. He manages to work it all out in the end, but I feel that it came way too easily, especially the problems he had with his friends. I feel like it got dismissed as some sort of misunderstanding, like Wes was the one making a big deal out of nothing. Afterwards, he and his friends talk it out very maturely, but where was all that maturity when shit was going down!!

I realise that a lot of my review sounds like I'm complaining, but this is really worth a read! The way this book discusses toxic masculinity, emotional vulnerability, dealing with trauma (because Wes is very clearly traumatised) is so well-done, and you can tell from the author's note that he put a lot of love and thought into this book. I would discuss this more but this review would get very spoilery.

To finish off this review, here are some nitpicks! These are minor details and do not affect the overall story! Some of these are purely personal issues I have that may not apply to other people!

Wes is stated to be a punk, and a lot of this book (the title, the chapter titles, the marketing) is about pop-punk, or scene music in general. But Wes doesn't seem to listen to pop-punk? The only band he mentions listening to is Metallica, which, last I checked, is a metal band. He wears a Linkin Park t-shirt once (huge slay) and mentions the My Chemical Romance reunion (double slay), but that's about it. He seems to be more of a metalhead tbh, which there's nothing wrong with, but I was hoping for more pop-punk references. (This sounds greedy, since almost every chapter title is a pop-punk reference, and I did appreciate that, but I wanted more!!)

I didn't vibe with the audiobook narrator. I'm kind of (very) picky about audiobooks, so the fact that I didn't dnf shows that he did a decent job at least, but I feel like he missed the mark on narrating the dialogue. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference between Wes's internal narration and when he was actually speaking which was confusing, and the narrator also read everything in this sad, hesitant sort of voice, which works for the overall vibe of the story, but makes the happy, lighthearted moments in the book feel sad as well.

Minor spoiler, Wes's mom got him and his friends tickets to see Metallica, but later they start growing apart and the concert is never mentioned again (unless I somehow missed it?), so its unclear if they did go to the Metallica concert. I need to know if they went, because if they skipped out on it due to their beef, I will be very sad on their behalf.

[itsaugust-loverson]

[ rudy pankow, cis man, he/him ] — whoa! AUGUST LOVERSON just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for TWO YEARS, working as a FLORST @ DAHLIA & DAFFODILS. that can’t be easy, especially at only 28 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit OBSESSIVE and IMPULSIVE , but i know them to be CREATIVE and ENERGETIC. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to QUEENS! —

@bhqextras

CHARACTER INFORMATION:

full name: august loverson

nickname(s): auggie, gus

pronouns & gender: he/him, cis man

sexuality: homosexual

age: twenty-eight

relationship status: single

birth date: october 31, 1995

birth place: beaufort, south carolina

time in town: since february 2022

occupation: florist @ dahlia & daffodils

parents: dillon & maria loverson

siblings: dillon loverson jr, gabriella loverson, jacqueline loverson

personality: obsessive, energetic, impulsive, & creative

pet: none at the moment

APPEARANCE:

celebrity doppelgänger: rudy pankow

height: 6'0"

hair color: blonde

eye color: ocean blue

FAVORITES:

color: burnt orange

non-alcoholic beverage: celsius 

alcoholic beverage: high noon watermelon

season: autumn

candle scent: macintosh apple

book: perks of being a wallflower

video game: spyro; save the last dragon

tv show: rupaul's drag race

animated tv show: bob’s burgers

movie: anything marvel

animated movie: the iron giant

holiday movie: the grinch who stole christmas

disney movie: frozen 2

pixar movie: toy story 2

disney original movie: halloween town

candy: twizzlers

chocolate candy: snickers

Fruit: pineapple 😉

Vegetable: garlicky green beans

cuisine to eat: jambalaya

cuisine to make: anything on the grill

genre of music: country

artist: luke combs

song: beer never broke my heart by luke combs

Biography:

Being the southern golden boy is always something that August will be known for. He was the miracle child that Dillon and Maria were never expecting. After their first three children which all happened to be daughters, the two didn't plan on having anymore and they didn't even think that they would be able to. But for Christmas 1994, Maria had surprised her husband and children with the fact that she was going to be having another child. They were ecstatic that they were going to have one more and once they found out that it was a boy, they were even happier because they were going to have the son that they always wanted. 

Once August was born, it was like all the attention was on him because he was the son that they longed for. And even though August tried his best to get along with all his sisters, some of them didn't really care for the attention that he pulled from the others. At the same time, Dillon and Maria were leaving the girls to babysit August whenever they wanted to go do things, which was always. The Loverson's were not well off by any means but they didn't live poorly either. And whenever August wanted something, they would try their hardest to ensure that he got it while his parents would tell their daughters that they needed to work for it. 

From a young age, August was always obsessed with flowers and he was always bringing them home and ripping them apart to make things like crowns, jewelry, and other things that most boys weren't worried about. He liked to make things look pretty and sometimes that got him bullied in school but he never let it get to him. Speaking of school, August was your average student who slid by with some B's and some C's and didn't care about graduating at the top of his class. He didn't even care about going to college at all. 

Although he wasn't worried about school, he did pay attention in some business and art classes to ensure that he was being the brightest when it came to opening up a business of his own one day and learning different era's of art to come off knowledgable to a wider range of age groups. August was no dummy and if he cared about something enough then he was willing to put in the work. He did the best that he could in his hometown to try and create a business for himself and he was doing great at first but then business seemed to slow down that he turned to TikTok and was able to sell some things quite fast.

While selling things online were nice, he felt like he could do more if he went somewhere that was bigger. He decided that in the beginning of 2022 that he was going to be moving to New York to appeal to a different clientele (well that and there were many many more gay boys like him). While his business in New York was trying to grow, he wasn't making enough on TikTok to live so that's when he found a flower shop called Dahlia & Daffodils were hiring florists and he decided to do that along with his business on the side.

August has begun to make a name for himself and he has started to rake in some money that he never thought was possible. He has been able to send money back home to his parents for helping him get to where he was. He feels like some of his sisters are still judging him for being so close with their parents and he tries not to hold it personally as he wished he had more of a relationship with them because regardless of what they think of him he has always loved them. 

[crimsonblackrose]

.

Eli you should be proud of yourself, that turned out nice:

They even put up lanterns.

Johnny drinking an RC cola and not beer, proud of him. The fact they sit together and eat. That Daniel brought an extra pair of chopsticks to share. Johnny tried gyoza and liked it. 🥺💖💖💖💖

Johnny wearing Mr. Miyagi's gear for blocking, the baseball catcher outfit and the way Johnny smiles in that thing. 💖

Johnny ripping what's left of his sandwhich in half and giving it to Daniel and Daniel looks at it like eww but then tries it and likes it.

Johnny being a slight shit by doing the crane pose, but it's clearly a joke.

I loved this whole opening.

Do you think Johnny painted this himself?

he carpools with Miggy.

Double date dinner with the LaRusso's!!!!

Of course Daniel's home has a built in pizza oven and he makes his own pizza.

Daniel catching Johnny's flick beer cap is also another favorite.

He also made broccoli rabe and is getting a barolo (italian wine) from the garage.

Anthony: What the hell why are you here/Johnny: who the hell are you, wait a second are you the son? Anthony: It's called a growth spurt dipshit.

I wonder when the last time someone noticed Anthony was.

Sam used to walk around the showroom floor like she owned the place so they tease that she'll take it over, but there's no actual pressure for it. Though Daniel expects her to go to college.

Miguel and his straight A's and dreams of Stanford.

Oh Daniel I can see the gears in your head working on paying for Miguel's tuition.

Miguel accidentally spills wine on Daniel and breaks the glass, curses, and then apologizes for cursing and is so panicked. He was reaching for the salad.

No one asked about Anthony or really talked to him.

Both Sam and Miguel look unhappy/distracted

Silver having a rough time due to the kitchen torch taking a moment to work.

There's a headcannon that Terry's sick/dying. I'd like to note that he's got medicine in front of him and as soon as he tells the chef he's skipping breakfast the chef asks if he should call the doctor.

Kenny showing up to cobra kai to ask for help from Robby and Kreese doesn't even let him finish but allows Kenny to at least try because Robby goes to the mat saying his older brother was one of the toughest guys in juvie.

Daniel thinking ah yeah I got this lesson, and the prize because these kids like competition: If you succeed you get to lead class all week. Crickets. And pick out which flavor gatorade I buy next. 🤣🤣 And that wins them over.

Poor Miguel thinking once again he Mr. LaRusso might not think he's good enough for his daughter.

Daniel teasing Miguel the way Mr. Miyagi teased him.

Demetri scaring the kids. "I heard he drowned a kid in a pool teaching him to kick and that was before he sicced a rabbid dog on Eli."

Ah, not fully accurate. Miguel survived, and I don't think the dog was rabid and He didn't sicc the dog on him he just called the dogs.

I do think for a lesson with students you don't know too well, even if 90% of them used to be your own, having kids try to jump over buildings is a terrible idea Johnny and a couple mattress isn't enough protection.

The other issue is, unlike Daniel and the Eagle Fangs who are more open to learning Miyagi-do and up for the challenge. Daniel's spent 3 seasons telling Miyagi-do students that Johnny is a dangerous and monstrous person, add to it what Demetri tells them and their own, like 2 days as Cobra Kai kids and they don't want to do anything he tells them to do. It's literally stacked against him.

Measuring by Nates. Omg was I calling Nate Ryan? Nate I'm sorry. They truly rarely say most of the B/C plot kids names.

None of the kids jump which, fair but also kinda rough on Johnny that no one listens to him. But also Johnny???? WHY THE HELL FOR THIS ONE? Practice their jumps closer to the ground first. Don't just shove them out of the nest. Let them take some practice jumps from somewhere safer.

This feels like one of those flanderization moments, of like Netflix got their hands on this and was like give him something the kids will all say no to because it's a terrible idea and super unsafe.

Kyler? Kreese come on. Be a little nicer to Kenny. Great question Kenny, how am I supposed to fight if I haven't had any training yet?

Kyler literally scaring Kenny off the mat and then laughing. Poor Kenny, and I think he left without his shoes. That was mean. Johnny wouldn't have done that.

Hawk: Let's practice at a fish tank in a Chinese restaurant.

This is not fully Sam, this is Daniel.

Sam really snaps. She uses being a teenager as an excuse for all her poor choices and says she's made a couple of mistakes. Which fair, but also being coddled and believing she can do no wrong does not help. "You're a 50-something-year-old-man who live alone, drinks all day, and clearly hasn't figured out his own life."

Which is very much a mad teen thing to say, but also a bit of that is once again Daniel.

"If you want to sit in the backseat your whole life, go right ahead, it's no sweat off my back." He also points out that he gets to do what he loves every day because he didn't listen to his parents or do what they wanted him to do.

Kyler to Tory: want to stand in line with me to buy Nikes?

Tory: How many sneakers do you need?

In otherwords he's asked her to do this before and she's stood in line with him before while he buys shoes. Kyler says she looks good in Dunks. ( A type of Nike shoe) Maybe he bought her some?

Terry: Turn around you son of a bitch.

The fact Terry doesn't even wait until the students are fully far away and these kids don't give a shit about the tall guy who walks past them into their dojo.

Terry comes in pissed, but stops to take off his shoes before crossing the mat.

Sometimes you forget how tall TIG is.

Terry's also the first one to come in, show he hasn't gotten rusty and doesn't actually hit Kreese, just shows him. They also were circling each other around the mat while Terry ranted.

Kenny your brother gave you a fairy god-brother and he's here:

Note that this is more big brothers big sisters style adoption but he's going to do his best, he's going to fuck up a little but he's going to try and help you.

Also, again whose paying and buying Robby his clothes other than Netflix?

Shawn is supposed to get out this summer. But he got an extra month for spitting in a guards face.

Kenny blames himself for Shawn being in juvie. Shawn had some bad friends at school, Kenny caught this friend stealing from their parents. the guy tried to hurt Kenny but Shawn protected him, defended Kenny but because the guy got so badly beaten Shawn got juvie. Which is wild since it sounds like it happened in the Payne household, so wouldn't it be self defense?

Is Kenny like allergic to dairy? What is with all of the milk stuff?

Kenny: All i can do is run. Robby realizing from Miyagi-do that Kenny can use that for karate.

oh man Lucille

Apparently Lucille saved, scrimped and put every spare cent in a jar she called The Daniel Fund. And Daniel spent it all on a round trip ticket to Okinawa and then again on Mr. Miyagi's Little Trees.

Man Lucille must be pissed about TKK2.

It is funny though to have someone go oh so you did this right and Daniel have to realize that no he was a kind hearted dumbass.

Johnny is so fucking proud of her. She's so stubborn like her dad. But she also does what she wants, she just actually has to figure out what she wants, but like she said she's a teen. She's got time.

Look how happy and proud of herself she is

Terry and his medicine again.

Someone made a meme out of Terry in front of the mirror and I forgot for a second it was a meme and was like where's the lipstick writing? 🤣

oooh I like his black cup

It's March 14th.

Terry is getting ready for bed before 10.

Cheyenne's last name is Hamidi

He's been ignoring her since Friday.

We're having vegan cacciatore for dinner, is that okay?

I'll save you a plate. Honey where are you. I love you. Please text me back... Is everything alright? (Yesterday) Terrance... Why aren't you texting me back? Are you mad at me? You must be busy...Let me know when you'll be home.

Terry had his cobra kai tattoo covered up.

Their first All-Valley

Saturday December 20th

Kreese entered cobra kai before they even had any students. He wants to show the world that 'their way is the right way'.

Terry's father made him take over the company or else get cut out of the inheritance.

Kreese: I can't do this without you Terry.

Also Kreese: You can get through anything, you know why? Because you got me.

I didn't leave you behind in the war and I'm not going to leave you behind now. Kreese, he's leaving you to go work at company. I get that this is support for him being scared but still.

The absolute drama of Terry putting his hair up. They should've done this for Violet Baudelaire the first time she puts her hair up in a Series of Unfortunate Events.

We spend so much time, zoomed in on his hair.

Johnny going for it and Carmen trying to save him due to the other people in her home. 🤣

I think it's kinda funny and adorable that he gives his big speech to Carmen then turns to Rosa and her friends and is like I don't know if they got all of that, do you want to translate and they're all nodding like they got his big romantic speech.

And that they're like he's cute does he have an older brother as Carmen and Johnny make out in the entry way.

AGAIN WITH THE NEW BACKGROUND COBRA KAIS OMG

Go Kenny go! Also the fact Kenny is proud of himself for charging forward and landing a punch.

Apparently Mitch did homework by watching Hillybilly Handfishing.

What I love about Miguel is once he figured it out he didn't just try to win, but he taught the other eagle fangs too.

Pure delight but also, that poor fish

Aw Sam called Johnny sensei.

Perseverance, courage and strength are apparently watch Daniel's hachimaki means.

We never do get to see what else Johnny had planned for the Miyagi-do's. I was wondering why Daniel got two days and Johnny got one, and it's because they don't show it (or at least not in this episode)

And on the one hand it feels like oh but Miguel did well and the goal is for them to learn and everything from each other and technically Johnny you're bonding with Sam (something that if I remember correctly, Daniel didn't like either)

But Daniel also taught Robby and (arguably) kidnapped his son, poaches his students and Kreese stole most of the rest of his students so it's like a sore subject. Even though I'm happy that they're bonding and pretty sure Miguel's feeling a little more secure in dating Sam with Daniel.

Plus as soon as they enter the dojo all the kids run up to look, even the Miyagi-do that are supposed to be paying attention to Johnny and following him that day.

[sleepyowlwrites]

38 and 39 for the writer asks

38 I answered already and basically I said that I also think it's crazy that I write best when I'm going by the seat of my pants. like, just really, really pantsing it. NO plot, JUST vibes will get me the farthest into a story than any worldbuilding, brainstorming, outlining, or character sheet-ing will.

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

I only felt like giving up the one time. and I did. I took a break. I also went to college during that time, so personally I think that was a very good reason to take the break separate from how nothing was working out the way I wanted it to, but yeah. I didn't write original fiction - minus a couple of shorts - for six years. I took a break for a couple years and then started writing fanfiction, which was a fantastic time. I built my original tumblr following with my fanfics, and I actually just had a spam of comments on ao3 from someone finding my fics and enjoying them. in 2018 I started writing original fiction again and I've been going reasonably steady since then - with the exception of November-December since 2020 because I'm too exhausted to write anything during those months.

nothing makes me want to stop writing anymore. this is, I think, due to a few factors.

a) I feel very positively about my writing. I don't always like it. I don't always think it's good, but I always feel positively about it in the sense that I'm glad I've written, I'm glad I'm writing. I don't get discouraged by crap first draft stuff. I also don't really write crap anymore, at the level I'm at. I write decent first draft stuff. not always coherent or going anywhere, but not bad. so it's easier to feel positive about it, but even if it were bad, I still wouldn't dislike it.

b) I write for me. my target audience is me. there is no purpose to my writing higher than the fact that I would like to read it, and right under the purpose is the fact that I enjoy the act of writing enough that regardless of quality, it is always a worthwhile pastime. there are no due dates, there are no rush orders, nothing is keeping me to being a writer except that I want to be. I write for me, because I like it.

c) if I need to take a break, if I'm getting burnt out, or if I'm just generally tired, I'll just do that. I won't write. I won't write plot, anyway. I might write character stats, or ideas, or set dressing, or vibes. or nothing. I'll just think about it. again, it's all for me, I've got the time to rest before I continue.

d) if I come to a point where something I've been work on isn't currently working any longer, I'll put it aside. by now you must know I have so many projects. I flounder if I try to work on only one wip at a time, and so I have current projects, backburner projects, lost in the shuffle projects, barely formed concepts, blank books, all kinds of stuff. there's always something new or reused that I can think about. I don't feel guilty about putting something down and picking up something new. soon enough I'll be picking up that old thing again.

I haven't worked on summon story in a bit because it wasn't working. so I was ruminating about guild story and answering asks about city story and I wrote that scene for apocalypse story. and then! I figured out what was going on with summon story! it was the tone. it wasn't goofy enough. I was trying to shove a plot in where it wasn't wanted. I know how I want to write it now. so I can, whenever I've got the spoons. and the soup. the brain soup.

thanks for asking, Rainstorm!

[bluebudgie]

Snatching this character ask game to answer it in its entirety bc I'm currently sick in bed and this sounds like good distraction.

Here's your chance to read some lab rat character snippets.

Answering for Lahpp bc the brainworms got me bad the last 2 years.

A. What nicknames do they get called?

None, really. Unless employee numbers count as nicknames. I've made a joking comment about how Petthri would start calling him Gecko for absolutely no logical reason other than me being amused that the man's voice claim actor played a character with that name in a super niche musical. This isn't canon. But it makes listening to relevant songs funny.

B. Describe their family dynamic.

Non-existant. Didn't even have an official legal guardian until Rata Sum authorities required related paperwork for school stuff. There was the subkrewe that handled surveillance of his 'progress' and the head of the project was sort of 'in charge' of him but whatever relationship they had was nothing remotely comparable to a family. I think to this day he's got the hardest time wrapping his head around the concept of family relationships, other than of course the purely biological explanation.

C. What’s their weirdest habit or quirk?

Does consuming more coffee than anyone feasibly should count? I'm not even sure this man drinks anything else. Probably, but seriously unsure. Just don't question it, it hasn't killed him yet.

D. What was their high school college experience like?

This is one of those "20k essay; 1000 different amv scenarios" topics. In short: difficult, exhausting, but not as bad as it could have been.

On a social level he always felt like the odd one out and didn't have much contact to the other students, but he was never actively disliked or anything of the sort. Him being generally rather distant and observant probably intimidated a few people, as well as him being Inquest. Group projects went smoothly though, and interactions were superficially friendly. Just comparatively rare.

Work-wise he had to put in so much more effort than many others because of his disabilities, all while trying to be as stealthy as possible about it so noone would notice. He excelled in many challenges, didn't manage to hide all of it however; some things he simply couldn't do. Uncomfortable for him.

He was a really good student overall.

Also as a side anecdote, he got the typical "can you speak up please" a lot even though he was a front row regular. Soft-spoken guy.

E. What is their love language?

He's the "invite someone to go out for dinner" type. Spend some good quality time. He might get invested in the relevant person's interests too. Ask about them, enable some rambling, or ideally an interesting discussion.

F. How do they handle conflict?

That depends entirely on the kind of coflict and who or what is involved. Can range from "take the lead and try to find the most efficient solution" to "remove himself from the situation and just not deal with it at all".

G. What’s their greatest talent?

Developed mad acting & pokerface skills. He can smile through the most annoying social situations and you wouldn't guess he hates every single second of it. If he actively wants to give you that impression, that is. Sometimes he just doesn't bother.

H. Where is their favourite place to be?

Not sure if he has a consciously picked favourite place but he's comfortable enough in the small studio room connected to his lab. Made it a decently livable place. It's tiny (very tiny) but that's fine, he doesn't need much space. It's a place of peace and quiet, and that's what matters.

I. What makes them feel safe?

Good question! Next question.

J. What is their greatest weakness?

He's a coward who resigned himself to a life in a corrupt, hateful, criminal system. He was target of that very same system's bigotry for ages but he turns a blind eye on it out of fear and a lack of willingness to change anything. He's content being a simple cog in the machine, not caring about what its greater purpose is. is this what Camus calls philosophical suicide

Maybe one day he'll overcome the cowardice to face some difficult truths. Probably not.

K. What is their greatest strength?

If he says he'll get shit done, he gets it done. He's got an incredible amount of perseverance.

Especially in his teenage years this often meant choosing the path of more resistance simply to spite the people who would assume he wouldn't manage certain things. Even if those people would never actually know. He had to at least prove it to himself under the guise of acting out of spite. Is that even a strength anymore or actually a flaw? A strength born from flawed thinking?

L. What is their secrets to happiness?

Don't have anything change, find comfort in living the convenient lie. The illusion of happiness is good enough.

M. How do they handle competition?

If it's the kind of "who wins the monthly nonfatal pool by putting the most life subjects in a vegetative state" small-ego-competition then he simply doesn't care. Not because he has any moral issues with it but because he think it's a waste of time and just distracts from the actual tasks at hand.

If it's "the events in Cantha have put you in a physical and mental state that prevents you from working; and staying away on sick leave for a prolongued amount of time will eventually get you replaced despite decades of dedication" sort of competition then he doesn't handle it well at all. And he doesn't even believe anyone else could do his job better than him. Somehow that actually makes it worse.

N. What are their hidden talents?

Music. Got curious about the general topic in college. And in true spiteful (big fat disclaimer: asshole statement) "Oh you're severely HoH so this is clearly not for you" fashion, he decided this is exactly for him to get invested in. He got really into the theory part especially but also picked up an instrument (undecided which one. the decision has been haunting me for months.) to play.

Later when he met Luqqah they found out it's an interest they have in common so they spent a lot of time just either discussing or analyzing theoretical concepts or actually making some music. Luqqah taught him how to sing over the years! It's something he had wanted to learn well before he met her but very much lacked the confidence to start on his own.

He hasn't lost that passion over all these years, even if he didn't get to share it with anyone in a while. Post-EoD music trio incoming?

O. What motivates them?

In the past: Mostly fear with a good portion of spite.

Now: Mostly habit. Some underlying fears.

P. What advice would they give to their younger self?

If he could look past his own facade he'd likely tell his younger self to keep kindling at least a bit of that spiteful fire he had.

He does sometimes feel like he's lacking more "bite" the older he gets.

Q. Do they have a signature look or fashion?

Always got that eye piece on covering his left eye. You'll not encounter him without it. If you do, something's either wrong or you've somehow invaded into private space.

He spends the majority of his time working which means the majority of the time you'll find him in a labcoat. He also keeps his hair tied up for practical reasons.

His "casual" outfits are still surprisingly formal looking. He wants to leave a decent impression, you know. I'm awful at describing clothes so I'll skip this one until I one day inevitable draw it, but he's big on waistcoats and likes different shades of brown.

R. How tall are they?

Listen friends I'm really bad at understanding the gw2 race heights and putting them in perspective, but I assigned him a confident 98 cm (3'2") which in my world view is somewhere in the average middle. Not super short, not tall.

S. What’s their relationship like with their parents?

Somewhat answered in the family dynamics question. As for his biological parents, he never knew them. His -on paper- legal guardian wasn't much of a parental figure. Did it fuck him up growing up without any real guiding figure to look up to? Sure. Did it take time for him to understand that this is not the normal experience every child has? Unsure if he actually ever fully understood. Rationally he does, but emotionally this is a different matter.

T. What are their favourite foods?

He's really gotten into wasabi.

U. What do they like to do in their spare time?

See the music answer. Also reading an interesting book in a quiet environment is always a good pastime.

V. What’s their biggest pet peeve?

So he's generally really good at keeping his cool but he's got absolutely zero (0) patience for several people talking over each other in the same time. There's a reason he demanded his own lab space when everyone moved over to the CoE.

W. What’s their favourite sport?

If dancing is considered a sport (I believe it is?) Petthri might eventually get him to be interested enough as a spectactor. Let that be a future arc.

Otherwise literally no interest in any at all.

X. What’s their biggest fear?

Death. And I don't mean it in a 'most people find thinking about their own mortality uncomfortable' way, I mean it in a seriously phobic way. It keeps him up at night. He's had numerous seriously bad panic attacks over it. Based important decisions on it.

There was a time of his life it got somewhat better but it's catching up to him again recently.

Y. What physical object do they value most?

Whatever omious instrument I'll decide on that he owns will probably be valuable to him. I have no idea otherwise.

Z. What’s their relationship status?

Officially single (and it will stay that way). Unofficially complicated.

For the really curious: I suppose their current relationship is best described as "friends with benefits". No they have not kissed yet. I'm gonna first have to figure out when and how and why and if at all and

That said I have this shitpost scene-that'll-never-happen in my head of Luqqah meeting Lahpp and Petthri during the whole EoD disaster and in a moment of quiet she and Lahpp sit together. And she looks him in the eyes and goes "So are you two boyfriends?" And before he can even try to defend himself she continues "You break up with me because you figure out you're gay. And then you're gay for that?" Poor Petthri.

[chrysanthemumpink]

It's crazy but I've been watching Sister Wives and I've learned so much. I can't even begin to describe how much this show has helped me leave him. I've only watched the last 2 seasons and thats all I needed.

So this guy has 4 wives, 17 kids, and is a polygamist. Thoughts on polygamy and polyamary wasn't what got me. Whay got me was that this guy is actually a terrible husband. One guy, terrible to all 4 women and it felt like watching my own relationship issues from 4 different perspectives. In the end, one wife leaves him and its hard for her. Another wife leaves and it was easy emotionally, but before then, she tried so hard...not b\c she wanted him but b/c she felt trapped by finances, money, and her children's relationship with their father. Another one tried to leave too but it fell through. She felt humiliated and tried to win him back. She got scared and went back to what she thought was familiar and safe. And she's been trying for years. The husband is too proud to officially divorce but he has treated her coldly ever since. It's kind of pathetic. She's begging this man to love her again for reasons I don't understand but cant deny that I've been there before. The man is too much of a coward to say no.

And I'll start with the coward part, that's the last thing I said to him. I wanted for months to end things but there were so many excuses why he couldn't see me. I had to just text him. To be honest, we've broken up through text about 4 times. Not uncommon for us, but he took 4 days to respond to anything. There was something about maybe we can be friends or maybe in the future when "we are both in a better place." And my knee jerk reaction was "what the fuck?!" There was genuine anger. I've had this sense of anger for a while now but couldnt put it into words. Its hard to describe being angry at someone who is trying to salvage something. But one of the wives said something.

"You don't love me. Why won't you let me go."

And oh my God. Yes. That's what bothered me and what kept this relationship flip and flop for 4 years. I do think that there was love somewhere but he was too afraid to figure out what happened to that love or even admit that it was gone. Like no?? There is no future or doors left open. So I told him that he was a coward. Too afraid of losing me but also too afraid to admit it isn't working.

I will admit he was hard seeing him date someone else. It was even harder when I realized she was 22 and still in college. He's 34 in February. And that was just strange. I didn't think he was someone that would do that. It really made me wonder who it was I was actually dating. We broke up and it's like the person I knew doesn't exist anymore. Maybe I'm just jealous of a younger woman but I'm 27. I remember being 22, and dating someone like him is not something that would have ended well. Heck, I was 22 when I met him but he was 28. The first time we kissed was the day before his 29th birthday. It wasn't weird but you'd think he'd move forward, not backwards or whatever this is. And i find myself actually worried about this girl.

Anyway, I will admit it was hard to stay away. We've broken up before. In app honesty, him dating someone new never stopped us from getting back together. It sounds awful but I'll never forget when we wernt dating but definitely more than friends. And he asked me to hang out with him and his girlfriend because she was new in town and wanted friends. We went to the park and she told me that you said i loved Disney. I dont love Disney, he just inteprets anything animated as "Disney." I explained that and we laughed, two weeks later he said he couldn't stand her and missed laying his head in my lap. I guess I did have a chance to see who he really was.

But everytime I watched Sister Wives I could see myself in them. I knew what I wanted to be and what I didn't want to be. It made me feel less lonely in a way. Like it's possible to get through this. And I could watch how they did it and felt better.

This has gone on for too long. But I moved. Our long distance was supposed to be temporary. When I moved, we were supposed to become stronger and things would be better. We were going to discuss getting more serious, like m word serious. But we didn't make it till then. And now I'm here and I'm so glad he's not a part of this. I got a new phone and there's no pictures of him, no messages, and no desire to even add his number again. Hes gone and I really didn't think I'd get here.

I think he's gone for good now. If anyone reads this and I get back with him, you're allowed to yell at me. I kind of don't know what to do with myself now. I can't even imagine what another relationship would look like for me. That's how disillusioned I am. But I'm also really relieved it's over and that I don't miss him like I used too.

[onewomancitadel]

Heya! It’s been a while. I’ve been busy with college stuff lately but when I saw your stuff re-appear on my dash I felt compelled to send an encouraging message. Your stuff has always been so very good, especially with all the analyses and deep-dives into the themes since it not only deepened my appreciation of Knightfall as a ship but for RWBY as a whole. I always felt like one of a very small number of loners in the community who seriously shipped Jaune and Cinder together, so it’s really encouraging to know someone like you can make something so grand and popular about it. Please keep up the good work, I’m really hoping you continue doing this for a long time.

On another note, I think you also mentioned a few times that you also shipped Reylo? To be honest I was always iffy about that as a ship, but when I kind of off-set the ship + characters themselves from the movies (which is helpful because I never actually watched Movie 9 b/c of how everyone harps on it), I actually think I like it as well. You mentioning it plus how so many other folk I’ve seen analyze Star Wars to help support and deepen it like you do with Knightfall really makes me feel part of a wider community, so thanks for that!

Hi, it's great to hear from you again. I hope college is going well for you! Feel free to drop by on Tumblr whenever. Thank you for your ask, I'm sorry I didn't respond yesterday, I got hit by a migraine and checked out for the rest of the night.

I'm glad my blog can be a source of support like that. (: That's the most important thing! I mean I knew of only very few blogs on Tumblr that were seriously into it, because it sort of depends what one means by 'shipping', and I am usually a canonshipper. I don't like blogs that post shortfics or scenarios or roleplaying or any of that stuff more common with R/WBY ships on Tumblr, I am generally someone who wants to discuss canon or post longer fics to AO3. I make memes because I think they're silly fun and I like having silly fun, but that's just the logical consequence of discussing things seriously, you need a bit of lighthearted stuff sometimes lol.

I would really like to keep doing this too, so thank you for saying so. Honestly, I think that were I less invested in Knightfall, I probably wouldn't bother anymore because in terms of fandom behaviour and sensibilities, I have had a lot of fucking weird comments on my fic that just speak to a lack of respect and kindness extended towards fic authors, I have had a sizeable amount of rude anons (though I do get a lot of good ones, that's why anon is still turned on) - and at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much you toughen yourself up, if you look at your kudos:views ratio and compare it to other fandoms and curl up into a ball and cry because it hurts, is it worth it? Numbers shouldn't matter, but I'm only doing this because I like Jaune/Cinder that much. That much. THAT MUCH. I don't have any obligation to write or share fic otherwise.

So, er, yeah, I don't know where I'd draw the line, but for me it's the ship that matters more than anything. That's the bit I care about. I like writing my silly little fanfic. I don't really know if a 'community' exists for Knightfall as such (correction: it may well exist, but I'm very solitary); I'm not even sure if I'd call myself popular? It certainly doesn't feel like it. I guess I have pretty low self-esteem so I don't assume that I'm special or anything, but it feels like I have to - constantly try to earn my place, I suppose. I feel like I'm barely tolerated. Lol. Like I post a fic and I'm just waiting for someone to tell me, 'Oh, good enough, I suppose, but I don't like the rest,' and it really hurts. It just feels like losing. I only feel satisfaction when I'm in the middle of writing something and when I finish. This is a R/WBY fandom problem, by the way, I could be anywhere else and probably not encounter this.

That is to say, on the upside, the fact I'm still here now means I intend to keep going. I try to see silver-linings and be grateful for what I've got.

I do want to emphasise it's really nice that it makes you feel less alone and gives you more of a community space so that's really special.

On another note, I think you also mentioned a few times that you also shipped Reylo?

It's funny you mention Reylo because I veryyyyy vividly remember a Knightfall blog mentioning a fear that Knightfall would attract Reylo shippers and then I never interacted with them ever again. This is a while ago (like over two years ago lol) but it really put me off. I suppose quality over quantity of fans - there are... so many Reylos who can fabricate communities out of nothing lol - but I'll take my toys and go home in that case.

But also lol, wow, Reylo has been like my entire online identity since TFA. I only don't mention it that much because I wanted the space wizards to have fat Jedi babies together and I get sad thinking about it and because going to new fandoms being a Reylo means you have to put up with people taking you to task over Reylo. Small fry, I suppose, but again: I'll take my toys and go home.

I do think Reylo is/was the best fandom I've ever been in though, including some of the most masterful analyses I've ever read in any fandom. I can't link skysilencer since she got run off Tumblr by antis, but anything by Ohtze is a very good read, and going through corseque's Reylo tag is a very fun time as well as that one reincarnation theory - which by virtue would lead you to the Wayward Jedi, who after he went through some troubles, has actually reuploaded or unhidden all of his original Anidala/Reylo videos on YouTube - and I'm really only scratching the surface here. In fact, last night I was rereading Ohtze's the Usurper and the Holy Mother meta.

So I miss the TLJ era, what can I say. I would have to say that in terms of Reylo characterisation, because I began to lurk reading Ohtze's metas right after TFA and then rediscovered corseque's blog (I initially found hers through her wonderful Zelgan fanart lol), my perception of Reylo was a little different to some of the Dark Fuck Prince characterisation which pervaded the ship. So where you come from and what blogs you follow certainly matters and changes your perception of things.

I'm not sure about Tumblr anymore but the Reylo community is still very active on Twitter.

What I think is interesting about Reylo is that very conscious Jungian storytelling was used in TLJ. So it's relevant to use as a recent reference and to demonstrate what that kind of thing can look like. I recommend wit_and_folly for her early videos on Reylo and the monomyth - more specifically, the Heroine's Journey. I think she has a lot of interesting things to say, and is one of very few video essayists I can actually stand.

There's a very specific kind of enemies-to-lovers that I'm into, and Reylo and Knightfall are the two who pretty much hit the spot. I haven't really found any other ship that hits the same mythic beats or characterisation of the baddie and hero or has the same kind of narrative stakes. So tracing the similarities is always interesting to me.

I haven't tried to preach about Knightfall, I have mostly just tried to share my thoughts on the matter, and if that makes people interested or makes them feel seen then that's all I would want. It is a bit hard sometimes though. Very few reblog my posts, I get some likes here and there and I'm thankful for that, and that's just part of a broader shift of the website - but on my end I don't really know that it stands for much?

I think that's why I'm so confused about people being offended by me or Knightfall because there is seriously no threat here. All other Jaune and Cinder ships have their own juggernaut positions in the fandom. I'm one fucking person. A... a... a onewomancitadel, if you will.

I didn't know that username would become so apt lolol.

I'm sorry to be so down in this response. Ultimately, I think being committed to an idea is the thing that matters to me, that's why I write and that's why I post on my silly little blog. There's a certain security in that as well, and I think that sincerity - sincere care for an idea, for a ship, for a fic, for a silly meme - is the bit that matters, and certainly matters the most to me, and should be able to stand on its own.

Hope you have a good weekend and good luck once again with college. <3

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

I don't know what it is with English majors and why you are all like this but like

I'm someone who remember at this point roughly six years of English courses. I have a pretty solid memory of my middle school and high school years. I was never really good at it growing up, but I was a lot better at math, science, and history. It wasn't like I was bad at English courses, but I was a pretty consistent C-B amongst otherwise almost perfect grades. I realized in my senior year that this wasn't exactly my fault: even when I put in a lot of effort, it was simply a lot harder for me than reading about scientific theory or particle physics or a piece of historical literature.

They were different skills.

There were other extenuating factors. I was autistic and wasn't aware of it at the time as my family actively worked not to discuss it around me. I was abused and suffered from a lot of traumatic experiences that I hadn't even remotely dealt with by that point. I was overworked. In my senior year of high school, when I took AP English, a class I did not sign up for but was placed in against my consent, I was taking four other AP classes. Something inevitably had to give and it was the class I was the least capable in.

It didn't help my teacher was a nasty piece of work. She frequently belittled me in front of my peers without any real understanding of who I was outside of that classroom. What was I supposed to do? I was so successful in one of my other AP classes I spent a significant time in it asleep because I wasn't getting enough rest otherwise.

This was also the class that un-queered The Picture of Dorian Gray. What this class did to was to give me a lot of questions about the field of literature analysis in the first place: the value of death of the author as an analysis style, the selection of curricula, the type of questions and what was considered meaningful, the ability to derive one's own unique conclusions. It taught me first hand the various failures of English literature as a curriculum.

It would take me getting back into college to rediscover my spark for analyzing literature. I knew I wasn't good at it, and I know now I'm still not great at it, but I like trying.

It was still other classes which taught me how to suss out disinformation, how to analyze a source, how to create an argument. That wasn't my literature class. My difficulties in dissecting literature did not make me intellectually incurious. I was as a young teenager questioning my history and social studies teachers on why we never learned anything about the history of non-European countries. I knew about the Kingdom of Mali because I was a kid who really liked reading books, not because the American education system ever bothered to teach me about it.

When I was given a book about topology as a sophomore, it was WAY way above my ability to understand it, and I still tried.

Literature analysis is important. It's important to develop an understanding of art and culture, and the messages that it imparts to us. But let's not pretend that all the fandom brainworms came from people like me. A lot of it came from the kids who did well in English, a lot of it came from the English majors, and still continues to.

And people like this asshole are my AP English teacher.