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thunderbone · 2 months

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Craig Rosenberg's Jurassic Park III

Hi everyone, taking advantage of the fact that today is the 23rd anniversary of Jurassic Park III, I decided to share with you a story I created 😊

In 2021, a podcast called Stuck on Sorna had revealed the two proposed scripts for the third film in the Jurassic Park franchise, but which were discarded by Joe Johnston in favor of a simpler story for the film. Even though I've never heard this podcast, I saw the artwork and storyboards for both scripts and was surprised by it.

Soon, I had the idea of creating a story for one of the two discarded scripts to imagine what Jurassic Park III would be like if this script was approved by the director. So I chose the first discarded script for the film, which was written by Craig Rosenberg. In addition to writing my version of JP3, I also made a drawing for this story.

At the end of last year, I was thinking about rewriting my version of JP3, because I wanted to make it even better. In May of this year, I decided to remake the story from scratch, where I was not based exclusively on the script written by Rosenberg, on which I was also based on the film Jurassic Park III, the book The Lost World by Michael Crichton and Jurassic Park: The Game.

Furthermore, I also made a new drawing for my story, a collab I made with my friend, Camila Vytória.

She is a super talented artist who makes realistic arts and watercolor paintings, as well as being a kind and very friendly girl. I've drawn the dinosaurs and the logo, but Camila did most of the work, where she drew the characters and painted the entire drawing.

Despite this, I helped her when she designed the characters, as only I knew what they would look like. Thank you very much for doing this collab with me, because the drawing was incredibly wonderful ❤️ If you want to see her work, click here: https://www.instagram.com/vcamilart/

The characters in my drawing are (from left to right): Amanda Santos de Oliveira, Nicholas "Nick" Harris, Ellie Sattler, Alan Grant, Alexander "Alex" Santos de Oliveira, Lewis Dodgson and Gisele Thorne. And the dinosaurs that are in the drawing are: Spinosaurus, Velociraptors (male and female), Tyrannosaurus rex, Brachiosaurus, Triceratops and Pachycephalosaurus.

To draw Alan and Ellie, Camila was based on Alan as seen in Jurassic Park III and Ellie as seen in Jurassic World: Dominion, respectively.

To draw Lewis Dodgson, she had based herself on a fanart of this character made by a fan. Unfortunately I don't know what this artist's name is :/

To draw Alex, Camila was based on myself, except for the hair, because besides me not being redheaded in real life, she was inspired by the hair of the human version of Ray, a character created by Elise M. Syvertsen (oomizuao).

To draw Alex's twin sister, she was based on the singer Avril Lavigne.

To draw Nick, Camila was based on my best friend, NOTG. As for Gisele, she was based on a random image of a black girl when she went to draw this character, lol

Well, now that you know the whole story behind my version of JP3, have a good read ^w^

In 1995, two years after the events of the first film, the story begins with dinosaur attacks on the mainland of Costa Rica, such as Compsognathus devouring a baby, Pteranodons attacking a small group of people at a baseball game, Velociraptors devouring a farmer, his son and his cows, etc. Because of these attacks, the Costa Rican government realized that the dinosaurs on Isla Nublar were migrating to the mainland and to prevent further attacks, the government secretly bombed the island. InGen was held responsible for the attacks, paying millions to the victims and for their absolute silence, as no one could know anything about this, just as no one could know everything about the events of the first film until then.

In addition, it is also revealed that after the events of the first film, InGen signed a total confidentiality agreement with all the survivors, where everyone was forbidden from disclosing any information about the incident that occurred on Isla Nublar. However, despite all those involved having signed a term committing to complete secrecy regarding the facts and the fact that most of them are unwilling to talk about what happened, Alan Grant, Ellie Sattler and Ian Malcolm still revealed to the media everything that happened, from InGen's attempts to clone dinosaurs to the collapse of the dinosaur park, which almost destroyed their credibility, as they had no way of proving their claims under the threat of legal action from InGen.

When Alan, Ellie and Ian tried to find evidence for their claims, they discovered Biosyn's alleged involvement in the incident, including a supposed man who works for them, Lewis Dodgson. Unfortunately, the trio were unable to find any more clues about Biosyn's involvement in the incident and what exactly it did. In 1998, a year after the events of the second film, Alan Grant spoke at a paleontology conference alongside his wife, Ellie Sattler, about his most recent research: his discovery of the intelligence of Velociraptors. However, Alan and Ellie are struggling to secure funding for their research, as people are more interested in the dinosaurs created by InGen than in the real dinosaurs that lived over 200 million years ago.

During the Q&A session, someone in the audience asks Alan if he would be willing to test his theory in practice. The paleontologist identifies the person as a 17-year-old teenager, Alexander Santos de Oliveira. The red-haired boy has been attending the renowned paleontologist's lectures and he seems to be very interested in his research. Alex then talks about InGen and Jurassic Park, saying that now that dinosaurs have been brought back to life through genetic engineering, Alan could finally test his discovery by studying the Velociraptors of Isla Sorna alongside Ellie. However, Alan and Ellie are not at all interested in this, saying that the creatures that inhabit the island are not dinosaurs, but rather monsters created in a laboratory by John Hammond and his company InGen, who claim that the real dinosaurs became extinct 65 million years ago and what remains of them are fossilized.

The couple ends by saying that nothing in this world will make them return to an island full of dinosaurs due to the traumatic experiences they had during the events of the first film. After the talk, Alan and Ellie are approached by the redhead boy, who really wanted to talk to them. Alan refused, because he saw that teenager with bad eyes, since apparently he was a rocker and in his view, rockers, metalheads, punks, skinheads, etc. are rowdy and ill-natured people. However, Ellie sympathized with Alex and convinced Alan to talk to him, because in addition to the fact that he was the only one interested in her husband's research, it was the first time she saw a young man his age admiring their work.

During the conversation, Alex says that he has always been a fan of them and that he has admired their work since childhood, in addition to the fact that he is passionate about dinosaurs. In addition, they discuss the intelligence of Velociraptors, raising the hypothesis that Velociraptors were intellectually and socially advanced, surpassing even primates. If it were not for the extinction of the dinosaurs, Alan believes that raptors could have become the dominant species on Earth. He theorizes that their intelligence came from their ability to communicate with each other, using their resonance chambers. This new discovery could change the view of these dinosaurs in paleontology as a whole.

Later that day, Alex went on vacation with his girlfriend, Gisele Thorne, and their friends to Nau'i Island, an island a few kilometers away from Costa Rica, which is a resort and tourist attraction for many people around the world. However, during the trip, the plane suddenly crashed, where the crash was caused by a dry run caused by a lack of fuel. Most of the passengers died after the plane crash and the only survivors were Alex, Gisele and their two friends, Ash Campbell and Nicholas "Nick" Harris.

After the private jet crashed on a mysterious island, before meeting up with the others, Ash had found a dead baby dinosaur in the wreckage of the aircraft, where after reuniting with his friends, the 4 teenagers were attacked by the Spinosaurus, who was apparently very angry and wanted to kill them at all costs, chasing them relentlessly. However, after a long chase, the 4 teenagers managed to lose him by entering an area that was protected by a fence that was still electrified. 3 weeks later, after giving another lecture and failing once again in their attempt to get some funding for their research, Alan and Ellie receive an unexpected visit from a billionaire couple.

This couple claims to be Alex's parents, where they both discovered that he had disappeared on Isla Sorna after the plane he was taking off in crashed. The US and Costa Rican government agencies refused to help them, due to the fact that the island is a restricted area. The couple then offers the two protagonists funding for the research if they rescue Alex and his friends. Initially, Alan strongly refuses the offer, but Ellie manages to convince him to accept the couple's proposal, saying that this was their chance to get the money for the research and the mortgage on the house, since they are about to lose the house if they do not pay the mortgage by next week.

That same day, after discovering the existence of a second island inhabited by dinosaurs due to the repercussions of the events that occurred in the second film, Biosyn's chief scientist, Lewis Dodgson, meets with two men: George Baselton (an biologist) and Howard King (a Biosyn geneticist). Dodgson explains that 2 years after the failure of Jurassic Park, several dinosaurs were migrating to the Costa Rican mainland, which forced the country's government to take drastic measures: bombing that island. Since Isla Nublar no longer exists, all of Biosyn's plans went down the drain. However, a year ago, the T. Rex attack in San Diego brought the truth to light, and now the whole world knows about this incident, the Isla Nublar Incident, and the bombing of this island.

Now that Biosyn knows about the existence of Site B, InGen's main breeding and research site, this is their only chance to turn things around and clone their own dinosaurs to exploit them and make tons of money from these animals, where Dodgson, George, and Howard need to collect all the information and biological material, in other words, steal all of InGen's research and dinosaur eggs. The next day, a 17-year-old girl with long, brown hair named Amanda went out on a date. However, what her parents didn't know was that she was actually going to the port to look for someone who could take her to Isla Sorna by boat, as she is Alex's twin sister and wants to save her brother on her own.

After her brother disappeared on that dinosaur-infested island, Amanda is willing to do anything to get him out of there, as she believed that her parents' plan would fail, since it was very likely that Alan and Ellie would never accept their proposal to go to the island to rescue him, not even for money due to the traumatic experiences they both witnessed in the Isla Nublar Incident in 1993. However, after the girl arrived at the port, everyone there refused to help her, because even if she paid them a large sum of cash, the island she wanted to go to is a restricted area, in addition to the fact that it is a very dangerous place due to the dinosaurs.

Before she could give up, Amanda runs into a group of fishermen, who were already preparing to leave. She asks for a ride to Isla Sorna, but one of the fishermen refuses, saying he doesn't want to babysit a teenager. The girl then offers the fishermen $10,000 if they take her to the island, which they all accept. Near Isla Sorna, the boat is attacked by several Pteranodons, who kill everyone except Amanda, who managed to save herself by shooting one of the Pteranodons that attacked her, where she ended up falling into the sea. Minutes later, Amanda is unconscious on the beach, until she feels something like a rough tongue passing over her face. When she opens her eyes, she sees a Microceratus on top of her. She is frightened by the animal and it runs into the woods.

When she gets up, all sore, she hears human voices further ahead. As she goes towards the voices, she sees the boat that took Dodgson, George and Howard docked on the coast of the island. She hears Dodgson's entire plan to steal everything they can from the island, from information to biological material. She leaves cautiously so as not to attract attention, while Dodgson and the others board the jeep and head to the island. In the jungle, Amanda tries to search for her brother, but is attacked by 3 Velociraptors, who ambush her. Before the dinosaurs can devour her, Alex, Nick, Gisele and Ash appear, dispersing the attack with tear gas bombs, and taking Amanda to a mysterious place where they were taking shelter.

Hours later, Alan and Ellie, along with a group of 7 armed mercenaries, are taken to the island by helicopter and parachute to land there. As they begin their search for the teenagers, the group is attacked and chased by Velociraptors, who kill 2 mercenaries. During the chase and much shooting that results in the death of several Velociraptors, Alan and Ellie lose the remaining mercenaries, but are saved by the teenagers, who are riding motorcycles. The group is chased by the Velociraptors to a cliff, where in an effort to escape the scaly predators, each of the teenagers takes a parachute from their backpack and jumps off the motorcycles to safety, while Alan and Ellie hold on to them.

After jumping, 3 Velociraptors jump in an attempt to catch the protagonists, but fail and fall to their deaths. In parallel, the mercenaries escape into a herd of Corythosaurus and Parasaurolophus, causing a stampede; one mercenary gets lost from the others, who take refuge in the trees. The Velociraptors injure her and try to attract the other mercenaries to rescue her, but their trap is unsuccessful and they soon kill her. As they slide to the other side of the island, the teenagers take Alan and Ellie to their hideout, which is an underground laboratory that has been abandoned for years. At this time, Alan and Ellie meet Alex's sister and his friends. After telling them everything that happened, Gisele says that the Spinosaurus continued to chase them for some time, during which it tries to kill them for no apparent reason.

However, Nick and Ash deduce that the Spinosaurus wants revenge on them for the death of its cub, since one of them saw the body of a baby dinosaur that was in front of the private jet, implying that the aircraft killed the Spinosaurus's cub during the crash. In addition, the protagonists discover some secrets of InGen in that underground laboratory, such as the fact that in late 1997, InGen scientists came to Isla Sorna illegally with the intention of creating new dinosaurs (which explains why the Spinosaurus is one of the dinosaurs that are not on InGen's official list), InGen's plans to clone more dinosaurs with the intention of controlling them, and their plans to sell the dinosaurs as military weapons.

Not far away, Lewis Dodgson and his team found the Staurikosaurus nests. They throw gas bombs to scare the animals away. They take some eggs and put them in their backpacks, where they then leave for the next nest. A few hours later, Alan, Ellie and the teenagers meet up with the remaining mercenaries. However, the Spinosaurus, which had appeared by surprise, relentlessly pursues the group, but they manage to escape by entering an area that was protected by a titanium fence. However, to their great surprise, the great predator, which did not want to give up on chasing them in any way, manages to get through by destroying the titanium fence using all its absurd strength.

However, before the Spinosaurus could kill them all at once, the protagonists manage to escape by entering an abandoned observatory that was a few meters away. After looting eggs from several dinosaurs, Dodgson, George and Howard finally reach the nest of the Tyrannosaurus rex. In addition to the eggs, there was also the Tyrannosaurus couple and their cub. The wind was changing and foreshadowed a storm. The two were afraid and wanted to leave this one for last, but Dodgson insisted and said it was the most precious. In the nest, Howard threw the gas grenades and agitated the adult predators, while the cub fell asleep thanks to the effect of the gas. Even though they were agitated, they remained in place, refusing to abandon the nest.

Howard shouted for George to act. George entered the smoke with a gas mask, passing between the legs of one of the T. rex. He grabbed one of the eggs, but when he returned, the dinosaur's tail hit him and Howard caught the egg in mid-air. The wind began to disperse the gas. Dodgson started the car and Howard jumped into the jeep with the egg. When he stood up, George came face to face with the T. rex. He stood still, trying to keep the animal from seeing him, but the predator pressed its snout against him, clearly confirming that it had seen him. The Tyrannosaurus grabbed him and shook him. Howard regretted having left George behind and blamed Dodgson for everything that was happening. In the middle of the argument, the other T. rex emerges from the woods and headbutts the jeep, which plunges into the ravine.

Dodgson wakes up after a while. The jeep is upside down, on vines. As he gets up in great pain, Dodgson hears the roars of Tyrannosaurus rex not far away. He then takes the T. rex egg and puts it in his backpack along with the eggs of other dinosaurs that he had stolen earlier. Before escaping from the large predators, Dodgson ends up finding Howard, who is very injured; apparently he had broken his leg. Howard asks for help, but Dodgson abandons him right there, leaving him to die in the clutches of the Tyrannosaurus rex. Nearby, he finds a bunker. After devouring Howard alive, the Tyrannosaurus rex quickly go after Dodgson. He manages to open the door and closes it quickly, before the Tyrannosaurus rex can catch him.

In parallel, the group unknowingly enters an underwater tunnel, which turns out to be an underground aquarium. Luckily for them, there is no sign of any aquatic predator that could attack them. At that moment, while the group rested after all the running around and chatted among themselves, Alan began to feel more sympathy for Alex when he realized that he was a good-natured boy, since as the saying goes: Appearances can be deceiving. In addition, Alan and Ellie ended up developing a feeling of protection towards the teenagers, since the friendship between them was like a pleasant relationship between parents and children. Meanwhile, Dodgson finds a passage to the basement. He enters the dark place, but when feeling the wall, he notices a circuit breaker and turns it on.

The corridor lights up, revealing it to be a system of underwater tunnels. In one of the tunnels, Dodgson breaks down a door that takes him to a very luxurious office. Except for the thin layer of dust, everything seemed to be intact. Dodgson starts rummaging through the drawers and finds documents that indicate that InGen had bigger plans for the dinosaurs beyond entertainment: agriculture, pharmaceuticals, and even robotics. He takes everything he can find and puts it in his bag. Not far away, Alan and Ellie try to find a way out, while the mercenaries take care of the teenagers. Upon entering the underwater tunnel system, the couple meet Dodgson, who lies and says he is Steven Cameron, a paleontologist who went on an expedition to the island but ended up getting lost.

The couple offers to help him, as they also want to leave the island, and he accepts their help. When Alan and Ellie introduce Dodgson to the others, Amanda quickly recognizes him and denies what Dodgson said, stating that he is not a paleontologist who came on an expedition to the island, revealing his real reason for being on the island. At that moment, Alan and Ellie realize that he is actually Lewis Dodgson, the man who works for Biosyn, the same company that was supposedly involved in the Isla Nublar Incident. Before Alan, Ellie and the mercenaries could do anything, Dodgson, who had been discovered, quickly draws his revolver and shoots Alan, in addition to taking Alex as his hostage. Dodgson threatens to kill him if anyone tries to do anything against him, whereupon the villain slowly backs away.

He then kicks Alex's ass and manages to escape in time by getting into an elevator. To make matters worse, before leaving that place, the villain finds the aquarium control room located in the first dome and frees the Kronosaurus, which had been trapped in its cage for a few years. Alan, Ellie and the others are attacked by the Kronosaurus, which at all costs tries to break the tunnel glass to devour them. At one point, the marine reptile hit the glass again, where the crack in the glass allowed water to enter the tunnel, flooding it. The protagonists lock themselves in the aquarium's second dome before the rotunda above completely floods, only to discover that the damaged pressure seal on the door is causing the moon pool to slowly flood the room as well. Left with no choice, the protagonists don their respective diving gear and try to find a way out while trying to avoid the marine reptile.

The protagonists manage to lose the Kronosaurus and finally find an exit, which is a cave that leads them to the surface. Upon reaching the surface, they go to a port and find a boat that appears to be seaworthy, but is low on fuel. Alan goes to the port's warehouse to find some gas cans to fuel the boat. The place was damp and the moonlight illuminated the interior through the broken parts of the roof. There were many containers that formed a sort of maze. Alan hears deep breathing and heavy footsteps. Alan hides inside a half-open container and observes. It was a 7-foot-tall Carnotaurus, illuminated by the moonlight. Alan noticed that the animal's color pattern changed as it moved.

It was a camouflage mechanism. In addition, the dinosaur had chameleon-like eyes and a prehensile tail, suggesting that InGen created this dinosaur using chameleon DNA and that it also has 360-degree vision. The predator gets closer and closer to the container where Alan is hiding, but the others appear with flashlights that confuse the predator. The dinosaur invades the container while Alan escapes from under the animal's hind legs. The group trap the Carnotaurus inside the container. Knowing that this would not hold it for long, they hurry to set sail from there. They finally find a can of fuel and fill the vessel.

The theropod manages to free itself and chases the group, but Ellie manages to save herself and the others by shooting the Carnotaurus in the eye with a flare gun, slowing the dinosaur down and giving the group enough time to lose it. The next morning, during the boat ride, they encounter a group of Parasaurolophus, Brachiosaurus, Stegosaurus, Pachycephalosaurus and Ankylosaurus grazing in a field. Alan and Ellie marvel at how they coexist with each other and their environment. At dusk, Alan manages to call Alex and Amanda's parents, telling them that he and his wife have the twins. The billionaire couple says that they will arrange for a rescue helicopter to take them off the island tomorrow.

At one point, the protagonists see the silhouette of a man a few kilometers away. It was Dodgson, who was still trying to find a way out of that green hell. Alan then shoots Dodgson, stunning him. The group then ties him up using ropes that they had on the boat, trapping him. After capturing him, Alan and Ellie demand answers, wanting to know the whole truth. Dodgson reveals that he does in fact work for Biosyn, InGen's rival. Dodgson says that he has been tracking InGen's work for years and that he was the one who hired Dennis Nedry to steal dinosaur DNA embryos, which resulted in the collapse of Jurassic Park. He claims to have found valuable information from InGen's research and the most ambitious intentions it had for the dinosaurs.

Now it will be Biosyn's turn to make these ambitions a reality. In addition, Dodgson says that now that he has eggs from several species of dinosaurs on the island, he intends to create a hunting reserve, where dinosaurs could be hunted for sport, in which only very rich people could enjoy it by paying him millions of dollars. Upon learning everything, Alan, in a fit of rage, punched the villain in the face, who still mocked him. The paleontologist was going to beat the criminal, but is stopped by the others. At that moment, the protagonists went to discuss what to do with Dodgson; Alan, Amanda and Ash wanted him dead, while Ellie, Alex and Gisele wanted him arrested for all his crimes. Nick and the mercenaries were really unsure of what to do with the villain, since both options (killing or taking Dodgson to the police) had their ups and downs.

Before they could definitively decide what to do with the villain, the protagonists are attacked by the Spinosaurus again. During the attack, Ash sacrifices himself to save Amanda from the Spinosaurus, dying in the process. The Spinosaurus then turns the boat over, opening the engine and spilling fuel oil into the river. As the boat was submerged, Dodgson manages to free himself and barely escapes the Spinosaurus's clutches, which almost devour him. The protagonists swim to the surface, where the 4 remaining mercenaries try to protect the others with their guns, using all their ammunition against the largest predator on the island. At one point, one of them fired a missile at the theropod, which, despite having seriously injured the dinosaur's right eye, was of no use.

Despite their efforts, the mercenaries were unable to kill the large predator, which killed two mercenaries. While the other two remaining mercenaries were still trying to kill the Spinosaurus, Alan fired a flare, igniting the spilled oil and scaring the Spinosaurus, which fled into the jungle, finally giving up on avenging the death of its cub. At the same time, after fleeing into the forest, Dodgson was attacked by a Dilophosaurus, which cornered him. When the Dilophosaurus was about to kill him, the same pair of Tyrannosaurus that Dodgson had stolen the egg from appeared and scared the dinosaur away, scaring it far away. Dodgson quickly stood still, trying not to be seen by the pair of predators. However, to his great surprise, the male T. rex grabbed him by the leg, making him scream in pain. The villain's backpack was slightly open, where the female T. rex sniffed the backpack and realized that it lost egg was inside along with eggs from other dinosaurs.

The two Tyrannosaurus roar angrily at Dodgson, who then removes the egg from the backpack and rips it open. The female Tyrannosaurus, along with it mate, take the egg and Dodgson to their nest, where Dodgson is eaten alive by the T. rex cub. The next day, near the coast of the island, the group hears the sounds of a helicopter, and upon seeing where the sounds were coming from, the group realizes that a military helicopter had in fact landed on the coast of the island. Alan, Ellie, Alex, Amanda, Nick, Gisele, and the two remaining mercenaries are rescued, and they all leave the island safely. As the helicopter heads towards the North American continent, the Pteranodons fly by, apparently looking for new nesting sites. Later, Alan and Ellie receive the money for the research and the mortgage on the house, as Alex and Amanda's parents had promised.

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the-service-weapon · 9 months

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The ships I’m most fond of:

Casey x Alan (actually seriously invested in this one)

Casey x Alan x Scratch in a cool ass fanart AU I saw posted by another user (where Handler!Casey oversaw asset!Alan at the FBC and Scratch was a possessive manifestation of Alan’s shadow powers/darker part of his psyche—it was very hot) (Edit: it was actually a bodyguard!casey x FBC co-director!Alan by the user j-likes-to-draw—but I misremember it as handler x asset because I’m hot for that dynamic)

Alan x Scratch (mostly for the porn and bombastic light/dark fanart I’ve seen of them)

Saga x Ilmo (it’s like a hallmark movie—independent city woman falls for rugged and somewhat himbo-y woodsman—but with horror and puns)

Jesse x Dr Darling (they start a somewhat romantic psychic affair in their dreams/visions across realities—bound via their newfound connection stemming from Hedron/Polaris—and it ends with Jesse having to save her situationship from the Dark Place)

But honorable mentions to:

Darling x Zane

Alan x Zane

Alan x Alice

Casey x Saga

Casey x Alan x Alice

Emily x Jesse

#I honestly can see myself becoming most invested #in Casey x Alan and Saga x Ilmo #but I genuinely can just get behind any combo of these characters #I love them all

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rufffu · 10 months

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Hiii, I found some old post of yours that showed some art you made for the Battle Camp game by Pennypop. Would you mind sharing some more about what it was like working for them? :) I really love that game a lot but you rarely hear anyone talk about it! I even made some really bad fanart of it when I was like 18 😂 I would love to hear about your experience!

Hey there! Sure thing. Crazy that you dug that deep back into my art 😆 It's been quite a while since I've worked for them so I'll try to remember as much as I can.

For the most part, it was neat doing the art for them. A lot of it consisted of them (usually the Art Director) giving me concept art of creatures and characters to turn into vector art using Adobe Illustrator and make them in a way that was readily animatable. This meant I had to separate them into parts like a puppet. Sometimes, I even got to make the concept art from scratch. They would give me a prompt about the character/creature and a theme to go with it.

If there was a upcoming holiday, I would be tasked on making something that fit that. Examples of those would be the eastern dragon and a wukong-looking character for Chinese New Year just to name a few.

I also got to work on some cutesy and adorable characters and creatures too. Sometimes, I would just get the base character concepts and I would have to come up with what the evolved version would look like, which were pretty fun to do. For me personally, it felt like I was designing Pokemon evolutions.

And that would be pretty much what I did for the game, at least in terms of art. I would work for them for one and half or two years until my contract with them ended.

Hope that helped! It's not everyday I get asked about BattleCamp 🙃

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colourful-void · 1 year

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Glad I got to watch you live-blogging your way through VLR, I enjoyed it a lot. Did you notice the bits of foreshadowing throughout the game leading up to the reveal of Sigma’s face? The way Phi calls Sigma “grandpa” in the first few minutes of the game, Phi being surprised when Sigma says he’s 22 years old, and various characters insulting Sigma’s eyesight, hearing, etc. Not to mention things like the infirmary mirror being too dirty for Sigma to see his reflection and the fact that the game actually straight up shows you Sigma’s gray hair in the security footage of Sigma and Phi being dragged by K, you (and Sigma) just don’t notice it because it’s far away and grainy. I love these small details that make up the game, and there’s similar stuff for 999 and ZTD that I love as well.

In the ZE communities I’ve been in at least over the years, everyone’s favorite game is either 999 or VLR. However, despite its downfalls and controversy within the community, I still think that ZTD is a crucial part of the series, and I don’t think many people would say it’s necessarily a game that should be ignored or not talked about. From what I’ve seen, we appreciate the good parts of it and extensively meme about the weirder or less impressive parts. Plus, once you play ZTD you’ll be free to browse all the fanart and content online without fear of spoilers… stuff like the 999 and VLR Q&A that happened before ZTD’s release is really cool.

And like an anon recommended, AI: The Somnium Files is a brilliant game by the same writer/director of Zero Escape, Uchikoshi Koutarou. I’ve yet to play the sequel, but my impression going through the first game was that it was exactly what I needed to scratch my Zero Escape itch, despite the fact that it’s nothing like Zero Escape. I’d absolutely recommend it as well.

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and reactions as you went through VLR. If you end up playing ZTD, I hope you enjoy that as well!

Thank you, I'm really glad!!

For the forshadowing, I'd noticed a bit, but not as much as I ought to, probably! I'd picked up on the aversion to seeing Sigma's face, (him not being in group far away shots or having his face obscured when pointing to dio), though the mirror thing I totally just wrote off as the devs not having the budget to put that scene in there ahaha. And i was 100% ready to believe that Phi and everyone mocking Sigma's hearing/sight etc was just being mean skdfjsl

If there's anything i can apperciate it's something that's got its good moments to enjoy and its bad moments to meme the hell out of. (and it's relieving a bit knowing that if i go in and think 'well this is just silly' i wont be the only one, haha.) and yESSSS i'm very looking forward to seeing veryones cool art and fic and things!! and posting my own things ive been holding off on haha. i wanna follow some of the blogs who have been so nice in chatting with me, or who followed me after i started playing and chatting about it when im safe from spoilers!!

I'll definitely keep Ai in mind!! im not actually sure what the game play is for that, but I'll probably look into it a bit and then give it a shot. At least a cursory google search, which is more than i did for zero escape. thank you!!

and thank you again, I'm really glad you liked em!! I hoped they were like.. fun to read and not a blight on the tags, so hearing someone enjoyed them makes me so so happy!!!

#void nonary play #vlr #zero escape #vlr spoilers

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meruz · 3 years

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i was gonna draw tonight but i dropped my tablet pen and the barrel of the pen broke off and flew somewhere underneath (??) my bed (?) and now i cant find it so I’m just gonna answer asks before bed instead. just some art asks and more mentions of infinity train LOL

What program and brushes do you use when making your art?

@ravki hi! part of this is in my FAQ but i’ll say it again anyways LOL: I use photoshop CC and have used photoshop for pretty much....my whole art career. I’ve dabbled in clip and paint tool sai in the past but photoshop is my true wife, we eloped away from her awful father adobe many years ago and are very happy together.

as for brushes... I should prob put this info in my FAQ too lol,... my default brush set is actually free to download here! Tho I will say I also use steve ahn’s storyboarding brush sometimes and lately i’ve been using shiyoon kim’s brushes A TON. Shiyoon’s cost a couple bucks but they’re super worth it imo

How do you choose colors?

This is kind of a difficult one to describe from scratch but hmm.... I’ll put it this way. Generally when I go into coloring or painting something I already have some colors in mind. Like for a certain piece I know I want a bright green, or a magenta, or a dark blue in certain areas. A lot of the time I know a mood I want. So I’ll start with that core color tone and build around it. I’ll use an example from a recent piece

So you can see here that the first color I accessed was that bright cyan. So I start with that bright cyan and then bring in its “friends” in the form of analogous colors (shown below on the far left)

greens greys etc. THEN I know I want the characters to stand out against all the blue so I start laying down warm contrasting colors for them (middle group). the mat under them is orange, skin tones are warm, ryans flannel is red etc. then to get them to work together I work more cool colors into the shadows and slightly warmer (not too warm because its a cool img overall so in this case, greener LOL) colors into highlights.

hope that makes sense? for me choosing colors is a lot about story and composition. If you know what you want to say, the mood you want to create, where you want to go, the path to get there becomes a lot clearer imo.

Have you ever considered making an art book?

I have! But I don’t think I currently have enough...original illustrations for one LOL? Not that an art book has to be all original work but if I were putting fanart in an art book...at that point I’d just make a fanzine. I’m making more original work lately though so maybe this year....? Who knows. For now, I do have a sketchbook up on gumroad. Hoping to do one of those next year too.

Any tips for keeping background drawings from getting super stiff, especially since things like interiors have a lot of straight lines?

This is a really interesting ask. Really great question that I don’t think gets asked enough - forgive me if I get a bit art school here but I drew up some examples.

First I think we have to investigate the assumption that straight lines make things stiff. That seems true on an instinctual level and certainly proves to be true very often But I don’t think its actually the straight lines themselves but the sort of arrangements and compositions they tend to dictate. Take this for instance.

pretty big difference, right? there’s a couple things that make a composition feel stiff and one of the most significant is lines that are perpendicular and parallel to the frame. it feels locked in and solid, like bricks. but the moment you shift these angles even a little the composition instantly becomes more dynamic because our innate senses of weight, gravity, and directionality can sense movement.

But it’s not just diagonals let’s take this one step further

when lines meet and terminate together those tangents can flatten and lock space so the best way to solve this is with overlap and complete intersection, forms continuing past or behind each other feel more layered and less like a flat mosaic... again, even in the simplest line drawings. So how do we apply this to a background?

ok I drew this really fast so its potentially not the best example but I think the idea is there. This space isn’t even particularly deep, it’s basically a room, a doorway, and a hallway behind it, and we’re not seeing that much of any of those things LOL. but when you draw an environmental object like a doorway in a way that lines up with the perpendicular and parallel lines of the canvas you’re automatically flattening it and making it look rigid.

and when you create tangents with objects and characters you flatten the space around them and make it difficult to tell what is actually in front or behind or if they’re on the same plane.

GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. Anyways. avoid those things and you’ll instantly have less stiff bgs no matter what kind of bg you’re depicting.

I wanna mention however that this isn’t to say a stiff bg with flat space doesn’t have its purposes.

sometimes you want to create parallels and tangents. it can make characters feel closed in, trapped, regimented, part of a routine, etc. it’s also great for making a composition look ornamental (especially combined with symmetry).

directors like wes anderson can even use these compositional elements to make images feel uncanny or harrowing! its very versatile. I think the important thing is to just be aware of when you are making something rigid and when that’s the last thing you want to do. conscious choices.

Can you speak Tagalog?

@lemuelzero101 I can! BUT NOT VERY WELL LOL ;;; both my parents are from Visayas! but they met and had me in the states lol so I’m pretty American born and raised. We go back to visit family on occasion but not regularly. My tagalog is mostly absorbed from listening to relatives at parties lol and my parents speak bisaya at home so I’m marginally better at that. Sorry to any filipinos out there hoping I’d be better educated, I’m like a little baby...

I do love meeting and talking to other filipinos online though, I grew up in an area that was relatively diverse but the asian population was small and the filipino population basically non-existent. I was like one of maybe 2 filipino kids in my highschool of 2000.

Apart from infinity train what shows are you watching now? Have you seen jujitsu kaisen?

Man this is gonna sound so boring but I haven’t watched a lot of tv lately. It’s not really part of my daily routine. Let’s see... I was sort of watching Amphibia, Craig of the Creek, and the new Digimon Adventure 2020 but I keep falling off watching those for one reason or another. Also there’s a lot of episodes, it doesn’t feel like something I can just binge and be done with.

The last thing I binged was Succession. I want that show and Euphoria back so bad, when I’m done forcing all my friends to watch Infinity Train im cancelling my HBO subscription until Succession and Euphoria return so they know exactly what I’m on their list for LOL.

I have not watched jujitsu kaisen but I’ve kept up with some of the sakuga news (I keep up with anime industry news and production info like x5 the amt i keep up with actual anime) for it and their compositing/editing looks dope. I’ve read the manga actually LOL or at least part of the beginning. I wasn’t super keen on the whole finger eating thing. Also to be honest I kinda feel like its the new Bleach and I never particularly cared about Bleach. Characters look nice enough tho. I wholeheartedly support jjk fans.

Thank you! Thank you @keznodzieja! <3

And thank you anons who don’t watch infinity train LOL...it’s always nice to hear when people enjoy my fanart despite not knowing the source material because it lifts a little bit of the “oh god am I being annoying???” fear off my chest. But also I think you should watch infinity train because it’s really good I have no reservations recommending it.

#ask #GOD so much to say everyday #now to respond to e-mails and hit the hay at a responsible time

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thedailyotaku · 4 years

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on the way home. (Azami X Kumon oneshot)

Summer is almost over and autumn will come soon. There goes the school bell, ringing that it's time to go home. I stood up and picked up my bag and head over to Azami's room to pick him up.

It's been a year since he entered my school, Tsukushi High, and we always head home together. To be honest I was happy that Azami came to my school so I can have a new friend to hang out after school. Sometimes we hang out at my favorite batting place, to the mall to check out new makeup for him and I ending up as his model to test the products. But I don't mind at all, as long he's enjoying himself.

There are times we come home late from spending too much time on our hangouts haha. I smiled as I approach Azami's room and happily greet him,

"AZAMIIII, school's out c'mon let's hang out!" I cheerfully called out as he turned to me frowning as he pick up his things.

"Alright alright no need to shout," he said and head out and I tag along.

"Azami, is there any particular place you wanna hang out today? It's gettin pretty chilly since autumn is comin' up."

"Nah I wanna head home early today, how 'bout you?" he shrugged and yawns.

"Me? Well I wanna go for a little detour but since you said you're going straight home, guess I'll go home as well."

"Well we have time thou, where is that detour you're sayin'?"

"Hehe wanna find out? Follow me." I said teasingly and dash ahead.

"Hey no fair! Get back here!" Azami yelled and dash off as well chasin' me. I laughed and ran like a mad man as I head to the place where I found a new spot for hangin' out.

It's only a few blocks away from school and no one has ever set foot on it so I wanted to show Azami this new spot to hang out. It's an empty field with a perfect spot to watch the sunset.

Finally we arrived at the empty field and I lay down on the ground, catching my breath and I saw Azami's face starin at me from above.

"You're such a dumbass, dashing off like that what if you suddenly faint from exhaustion? You know your health is not that well. You're gonna be heavy as I carry you home." He sighed and lay down as well beside me.

"Well when that happens you're still gonna carry me home right?"

"How about no?"

"EH. You're so mean Azami!" I sat up and glared at him.

"I'm kidding, you're so easy to tease haha." He laughed and sat as well. There it is again, that throbbing feeling in my chest whenever Azami smile or laughs. I wonder if I'm getting sick or something. I just laughed it off and stare at the setting sunset.

"This is a pretty cool spot to relax. When did you find this?"

"Oh. When I was runnin' late last time I passed by here and it was close to the station and no one really comes here so yeah another free space to relax and practice swings! Hehe." I laughed and Azami just looked at me, smiling.

"Well thanks for the new hang out place, maybe if we're gonna skip school let's go here since it's not that far."

"Ah! Skipping school is a no no Azami!"

"Heh, but you go along with me whenever you feel like skipping your class."

"W-Well that's only a one time event! Besides I promised Mom that I'll do well at school so I can stay at the dorms with niichan."

"Haha you really love your family Kumon, I kinda envy you." he said and stares at the sunset.

"Why though? You have Sakyo-san, the Ginsekai and Mankai as your family, also me! You're like a brother to me too, Azami." I said but I know my feelings are not merely a brotherly love. It's something else.

"Well I know that, it's just I don't know how to react back," he muttered.

"But yeah even I can't tell it in words, I can just simply show it with my actions."

"Yeah exactly! You're a good guy Azami that's why I like you so much hehe."

"Huh like?"

"Uh I mean I like you as friend! Ha ha ha..."

"You're such a weirdo sometimes Kumon, but I like that part of you. It's like your charm that people come to like you."

"Really? I'm kinda shy to hear that." I laughed and scratch my head that Azami is complimenting me.

"I'm serious, you're approachable, kind and full of energy. And I think that's really cool."

"Well you're more cooler Azami! Even though you're young, you're dependent, can fight and manly!"

"Pfft. Stop the flattering,"

"Eh~ but I'm serious, I really like those characteristics of yours Azami."

"Well it's look like we admire each other's good sides," We laughed it off and stare again at the setting sunset. Then he turns to me and chuckles,

"What's so funny?" I asked confused that he's suddenly laughing.

"Can I say something weird?"

"Yeah?"

"Well in most situations, normal couples mostly hang out here in an empty field like this to make out, but here we are, two guys chillin as we watch the sunset."

"There's nothing wrong with that though, it's just we're chillin. Couples are not the only ones can hang out in places like these haha."

"Yeah right." He said and lay down again on the grass closing his eyes.

"Hey Azami, I gotta say you're pretty good looking, and I bet you're popular with the girls at school. Is there a type you like?"

"Nah. Girls at school are annoying and noisy. But Kantoku is an exception."

"Do you like Kantoku then?"

"Yeah I like her, but not in an romantic way. I respect her as our Director and nothing else."

"Hmm I see,"

"Looks like you have more something to say, you can ask me anything if you want,"

"Anything?"

"Yeah yeah, since we're chillin' out here and all."

"Then," I paused and took a deep breath and turned to him, completely serious about what to ask.

"Hey Azami, what would you do if a guy confesses to you?" I said and he looked at me shocked and I turned away at him scratching my head. Great, you're the best Kumon, why in the world did you ask that thing? Especially to Azami. As I roast myself when Azami muttered,

"Well, I would feel weird but yeah I'll respect the guy's gut for confessing. And I-I don't know if I would like a guy..." he muttered and started to blush. I don't know if he's blushing or it's just the sunset. But I pressed my thoughts and ask him again,

"Then what would you do if I confessed to you?"

"You confessing to me?"

"Yeah." I said firmly starin into his eyes. I don't know what got into me and why am I sayin' these things.

"Well I'm flattered, that you like me. Ah I mean, why would you confess to me anyway? Are you teasing me again Kumon?"

"Why would I joke at a time like this, I'm serious, I Iike you Azami."

"Huh, what does that mean." he muttered and starts to cover his face. I chuckled and stop him from covering his face as I lean in to him. We're so close that I can feel his breath and can hear his heart beating.

"Well if you don't like it, let's just forget this happened and stay as friends. I don't want our friendship to get awkward and all haha." I smiled bitterly and starts to stand up when Azami stopped me and clutches my sleeve.

"Wait. You didn't heard my answer yet dumbass," he said and I sat down, focused about what he's going to say.

"I, I like you too Kumon. I know it's weird that we're both guys but I really admire the things you have which I don't. And yeah, ugh. You know what I mean," he said and blushes looking down at the ground.

"Haha you're so cute Azami blushing like that, oh then that means we're going out now?"

"Whatever you call it," he muttered and I hugged him so tight, I'm so happy right now coz we feel the same way. I feel I hit a homerun right now.

I smiled and stare into Azami's eyes and about to lean in for a kiss when he stop me.

"Hey just because we're going out doesn't mean we can do those things,"

"Those things?"

"Aw c'mon you know what I mean Kumon,"

"And what is that?" I asked teasingly as I lean in so close that I can just peck his lips.

"Like kissing and stuff... Wait how do guys kiss?"

"Pfft hahaha, you really gonna ask that? I'll show you," I chuckled, leaning in and pecked his lips.

"How do you know these stuffs? You don't look like the type to do these things like kissing, dumbass."

"Well I learn a one or two from Muku's shoujo mangas and there's nothing different except we're both guys haha."

"Whatever let's go home, Shitty Sakyo might yell at me again if we come home late again," he said standing up and starts to walk.

"Ahh Azami! Wait for me! You're so cruel." I pout and followed him.

I held his hand and he held back. We head home with smiles as we gaze into the starry sky as we head home.

✧ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✦✧✦ ▬▭▬ ▬▭▬ ✧

Thanks for reading! It's been quite a long time since I wrote a fanfic again and it's my first time writing shounen ai genre and fluff. Apologies if there are errors, typos, wrong grammars coz I wrote this in one sitting and just focused to finish it. Hope you liked it! Until then ^^

Credits to the Azami x Kumon fanart,

ついったlog | 石榴 #pixiv https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/80636008

#a3!#a3! actor training game #a3! kumon #a3! azami #fluff #fanfic #shounen ai

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bigskydreaming · 6 years

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Tbh, another part of why I’m so vehemently anti-RPF is like.....one of the first things any legit agent or manager asks an actor when they sign them is if they’re willing to do nude scenes and/or sex scenes. And when there’s an actor whose work you follow cuz you think they’re hot and you notice they’ve never been in any kind of sex scene or even a shirtless scene, that’s not like...by accident, most of the time.

Because a lot of actors aren’t comfortable with nude scenes. And it doesn’t have nearly as much to do with prudishness or religious reasons or any of that stuff as you might assume. I mean, I have done nude scenes. In some pretty big size productions as in with a full crew. And lemme tell you....they are NOT fun. Or sexy. Or hot. Like, even a little bit, lol.

Cuz like, its never just you and another actor in a bedroom. It’s you and another actor naked or close to naked.....in the middle of like.....forty fully dressed crewmen holding cameras and lighting and sound equipment and acting like you’re not just...naked in front of them, even though you and everyone else are actually super aware that yup, you definitely are.

And there’s a million lights on you and set lights are HOT, they make you sweat like crazy, and so when you’re doing a lot of takes and getting sweaty from the lights you constantly have people running up to you between takes and like....toweling you off in a completely unsexy way, lol, and reapplying makeup and the whole time they’re not even talking to you but to each other, like you’re not even there, b/c they’re not trying to be rude but they’re in a hurry, they have to do this fast so there’s not really time to strike up a conversation with you while they do it. But its TOO weird to just be doing it in silence so they usually solve that awkwardness by being in the middle of a convo as they run up to you and your scene partner and just keep continuing it before running back.

And the whole time you’ve got a cranky, stressed and taking it out on everyone director yelling at you to basically...be more sexy, lol, with you having to do take after take after take and not even look just as into it as you did the take before, but dig deep and look even MORE into it. Because you wouldn’t still be shooting if you’d already done it right, you’re obvsly ‘not being sexy right’. And gotta say, lol, nothing makes it easier to feel and thus act sexy than an asshole you’d never sleep with in a million years yelling about how he’s not feeling like he wants to fuck you yet or like you want to fuck him yet. And he’s the audience, he says, he’s the people in the seats of the movie theater watching you pretend-fuck on screen, and so if he doesn’t feel like you wanna fuck him, then how do you expect they’re gonna be able to put themselves in the fantasy and feel like you’re talking to them, like you wanna fuck them? Ick.

So I mean....there’s actually a lot of reasons for actors to not want to do nude scenes, both men and women. Or for them to do one and then never do one again. And that’s not even getting into the after part of things, like....the weirdness of spending several more weeks working closely with several dozen people who have all seen you naked, up close and personal. Or the weirdness of knowing who-knows-how-many ppl out in the general public then have seen it too, fantasized about you, with you having no idea who any of them are, if you’d be like...comfortable with them having that level of intimacy with you if you did know who they are...*shrugs* Because there’s not really an easy way around the fact that someone seeing you naked IS a form of intimacy in our society. You’re exposed. You’re....all out there for them to critique or have opinions on or form fantasies about, with no way to reciprocate. And that’s a very weird feeling. That crosses well over into uncomfortable when you factor in that there’s no way to opt out of being seen like that by people you KNOW you wouldn’t want to share that level of intimacy with if it was just you and them.

Like, there’s one closeted actor I knew years ago who grew up in a small conservative town, and early on in his career he did a lot of sex-type scenes, like he was one of those actors who is pretty much always in a state of undress on every show he’s on, early on in their career. And he used to say how he never thought twice about it, thought he was totally fine with it....until he went back to his hometown for the holidays for the first time in years, and had all these old classmates and neighbors both his age and older women too, like actual friends of his parents or people who’d known him since he was a kid....and they were fawning over him while he was there and giggling about those scenes and how racy they were and blah blah...but the point was, when he came back to LA after the holidays, he just couldn’t do scenes like that anymore.

Because, like he said, he’d never really thought of himself as someone who made the fact that he was gay a big part of his identity, but it was just too unsettling for him after that. Being aware that the very same people who were a huge part of why he was in the closet, because of all the shit they’d said when he was growing up about how gross and disgusting gay people and gay sex are...here they were, totally okay with and INTO simulated sex scenes that didn’t have an ounce of the intimacy he had in his actual sexual encounters with other guys.

He was like “they’d all call me disgusting and tell me I was going to Hell if they found out what I do with boyfriends in my own home, but what I do on camera, surrounded by dozens of total strangers with a woman I only just met at our audition a week ago and have seen maybe twice since, like....that works for them?” And it just skeeved him out too much. He stopped auditioning for roles like that cold turkey, and I don’t think he’s actually ever done a nude scene since. He couldn’t get over knowing that the older women from his church who’d be the first to gossip about how sinful he was for having a boyfriend were instead gossiping on facebook about how hot he looked in this bedroom scene or whatever.

Anyway. Didn’t mean to go off on this tangent and didn’t realize that last post would bring this up, lmao. And tbh, like, I don’t ENJOY doing nude scenes, but I’ve never been bothered to the point of turning down a paying job. Like, it skeeves me out sometimes, stuff like I mentioned in that last post, coming face to face (so to speak) with the knowledge that someone I deeply dislike on a personal level has seen me that way and enjoyed it, but for me its a level of discomfort where I’m like, yeah, not ideal, but I can live with it. But for a lot of actors, it is a dealbreaker.

And I feel this is something a lot of RPF-er’s don’t consider....like, with a lot of these celebrities, the way you’re talking about them, fantasizing about them, writing stories or sharing pictures about them, especially ones where there aren’t a lot of actual sexualized content available already for you to springboard off of, where you have to like...photoshop heads onto other bodies or make fanart from scratch.....they didn’t say they were cool with it. They didn’t give even the kinda tacit permission that comes from accepting a role where they willingly expose their entire body and self for anyone and everyone to see and to say or think whatever they want as a result. Like, someone accepting a job that casts them as the fantasy hero in a romance where they sweep their lover off their feet and gaze longingly into each other’s eyes and all that stuff....but with their clothes on....Its not exactly the same thing as voluntarily sexualizing themselves top to bottom, playing the part of an actively sexual being onscreen for you to then take in and absorb and do whatever you want with what they chose to put out there.

And thing is....this is still a form of consent, we’re talking about here. No, I’m not saying its the same kind as in a single person-to-person physical interaction. Violating someone’s consent so to speak, in this particular context, I’m not saying its interchangeable with someone being told no by a person and not stopping. I’m just saying....its not nothing either. You’re still taking away another human being’s right to decide whether or not they want you to have the level of intimacy that’s innately tied up in the viewing of a person in their most vulnerable state. Their right to decide whether they want you not just picturing them as a sexual fantasy, and in what ways.

Because like....that’s the other thing about consent. It needs to be given for each individual interaction. It’s not a one-time issued all access pass. An actor consenting to be a part of your sexual fantasies in the role and form of a character from a movie where they have sex with another consenting adult.....is not a blank check saying hey, I’m also totally fine with you using my face and likeness and even name in your fantasies where you put me opposite a minor, or a homophobe, or an abuser.

Like, just speaking for myself, I may be okay with however anyone chooses to view or think or talk about me based on the nude roles I’ve taken or in the context of them, even if it does make me kinda uncomfortable. But I very much would not the fuck be okay with someone sexualizing me opposite someone like, idk, Jared Leto, let’s say, someone that I fucking hate and would never in a million YEARS consent to being vulnerable, let alone intimate with, in any way, shape or form.

I mean, lol, if you’ve been following me for long at all, think about what you know about me as a person, just in terms of like things I’m obviously passionate about, things I talk a lot about etc. Now keeping in mind what you know of me and my personality just as a person who exists beyond any particular fantasy someone might have after seeing me in a role, picture me as an actor. Say I someday ended up in a role in a shared universe franchise like Marvel or DC, where Jared Leto also played a role in that franchise, even if it wasn’t in the same movie, if I never actually consented to be in a movie starring alongside Jared Leto. But by virtue of the big sprawling franchise we’re both in and thus tangentially linked, there’s enough basis for someone who finds him hot and who also finds me hot to go, okay, I wanna ship them together, I want to craft my own sexual fantasy starring them both together, and maybe even write it out, share it online.

Now....knowing me even just on a ‘i follow this person on a social media platform’ level....do you think I’d be remotely comfortable with that? Sure, I’ll probably never find out, you could say, assuming you convince yourself I don’t know how to use google or never google myself or SHOULD never google myself, because....idg that logic tbh but whatever. But you still know. Isn’t it even just a little bit skeevy, building a sexy fantasy around two people when you know or are even just a little sure one of them would not the fuck consent to that?

Like, there’s no law against that, obviously. No one’s gonna come banging on your door and say you can’t do that, that you have Harmed Me in some material way and I’m gonna sue or press charges. But just purely from the standpoint of acknowledging that you may not know me at all, but you know that I exist somewhere on this planet as a living, breathing, thinking entity with my own agency and likes and dislikes....shouldn’t what I want or feel matter? Especially if I do happen to feel very strongly about this, to the point where I’ve taken actionable steps to NOT consent to be in any situation with someone like that where it could remotely be construed as sexual, or even like he’s someone who I could tolerate being around, like his very existence doesn’t gross me out given some of the stuff he’s done. Making deliberate, conscious choices to not take roles opposite him, stuff like that.

Now sure, you don’t know if this is the case, have no way of knowing this about any random actor, that they feel this way or would or would not have this or that opinion about the scenario you’re placing them in, if it were brought to their attention, if you had the opportunity to ask them face to face ‘hey would you be okay with this?’

But that’s the point. You don’t know. But at least maybe focus on actors in their ROLES that they chose to play, where they showed up to work and said okay, here I am to my job pretending to be this character who isn’t me, to bring them to life and make them real for audiences, make them someone they can imagine, or yes, fantasize about. Instead of just assuming for yourself that hey anything and everything is fair game because they took their shirt off in a show once and they’re an actor anyway so what does it matter, this is what they get paid for....

Well. No. Its not what we get paid for. We get paid for the job we sign up to do. That we CHOOSE to do. An actor gets paid to be fodder for sexual fantasies based around their role as a sexy spy in a thriller, maybe, but that’s not and really shouldn’t be treated as interchangeable with acting like they’re getting paid to be fodder for sexual fantasies with anyone and everything in every possible kinky scenario, consent not required, no age limit, anything goes.

I’m not saying its wrong to have sexual fantasies about an actor who’s lodged in your brain in a sexual context because yeah, they’ve done sex scenes before. I’m just saying....there’s a lot of angles that a lot of people don’t put any thought into at all before just doing whatever they want, and all these very important conversations about consent and sexual agency and all that.....they don’t stop being necessary just because they’ve crossed into territory where you don’t want to have these particular conversations, where there’s a status quo you’re comfortable with even if you think a status quo in another area of society needs to be challenged.

Anyway.

Oops, I thought I was done but I kept going. Why am I like this. Okay, now I’m done. Anyway. Just thoughts I have and thus shared, do with them as you will.

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ohmytheon · 6 years

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heroes of the dark (12)

title: heroes of the dark

summary: Uraraka has spent almost a year grieving the loss of Deku, the greatest hero and her love, but life is slowly moving on. She’s got her job, her family, and even a strange friendship with Bakugou. Things are looking hopeful. Until Deku comes back and he’s not what he seems. Something is wrong with his mind, but Uraraka will be damned if she lets him fall again. (Villain!Deku)

– Chap 12: An old face helps figure out what happened to Deku, but news of the last fight gets blasted on the media, forcing Bakugou to deal with some very intense emotions.

notes: Ya'll ready for some plot and then some PAIN? Some new characters are showing up and I'm excited about their entrance into this fic. Also @youseimanami is back at it again with some new fanart for this fic, specifically tied to this chapter! I’m absolutely in love with it! What an incredible icon. I'm blessed.

Flexing the fingers of his now healed left hand, Bakugou tried to decide whether or not he wanted to deck the guy walking into the room. It had been almost three years since he’d last seen Shinsou Hitoshi and things hadn’t gone well. Granted, that was how most of Bakugou’s connections with people worked, but it was hard to get over with Shinsou in particular since Bakugou couldn’t yell at him or anything. If he so much as opened his mouth to snarl back, the other guy would activate his quirk on Bakugou and make him look like an idiot.

“Do we really need him?” Bakugou asked Aizawa, turning his whole body to the side. He didn’t want to even give Shinsou the idea that Bakugou was talking to him, just in case it enabled Shinsou to use his quirk.

Aizawa leveled Bakugou with a tired look that suggested he would rather do anything else in the world than explain things, but he had been the one to bring Shinsou into the fold. They were still in contact with one another after graduation. Made sense considering their quirks and perpetual look of exhaustion. “Out of everyone, Shinsou is the most experienced with brainwashing, as it is his quirk, and therefore would be best at spotting any anomalies in Midoriya’s behavior that might suggest it has happened to him.”

“Well, of course it’s happened to him,” Bakugou shot back. “All Deku has ever wanted was to be a hero, even when he--”

He bit his tongue, remembering that not everyone knew that Deku had been quirkless before he had come to U.A. Only a handful of people knew the truth about All Might passing on his One for All quirk to Deku. Bakugou shouldn’t know, but Deku had half-assed confessed in a moment of weakness. It had taken him months to figure out he was telling the truth. Uraraka knew as well. To be honest, Bakugou wasn’t sure who knew, so he just assumed that no one else did. Did Todoroki? Shit, did the League of Villains know now?

Great, as if there was something else they needed to worry about.

“Are you going to give me the video or not?” Shinsou asked in his bland tone.

Bakugou turned to glare at him and opened his mouth to snap back, but then shut it quickly before a word could slip out. A knowing grin worked its way onto Shinsou’s face as he held out a hand. Bakugou snatched the disk out of Aizawa’s hand and shoved it in Shinsou’s direction. He took it with much less hostility and put it into the computer.

The footage was decent at best, but that was to be expected when a civilian was hiding in their apartment next to one of the most massive hero and villain fights. They had evacuated the area, but this stupid asshole had decided to ignore the warning signs. After Dabi had blown up the building across the street, he’d whipped out his phone and began recording the incident. The guy definitely wasn’t going to be a director or cameraman for a movie any time soon, but he’d gotten the gist of it.

Luckily, Midnight had found him before he’d been able to do anything with the footage. He had been shaking life a leaf trying to escape the apartment complex and was knocked out by her fumes in an attempt to catch any other potential villains hiding inside. Naturally, when he’d come to, he had been terrified out of his mind, babbling about how he’d wanted to leave but he just couldn’t leave his place. Midnight had confiscated his phone and found the video.

It was damning. Bakugou had watched it almost ten times now, unable to get it out of his head. On the video, it didn’t look like he’d given it his all until he’d managed to escape the shadow villain. His fight with Deku alongside Todoroki had been more massive than he remembered, Todoroki’s ice scaling up the walls of buildings and his own explosions lighting up the entire street. Uraraka’s attacks had even looked larger than life. He could remember the rubble that she’d brought down on his head like a meteor shower, but she had been lifting huge pieces of concrete left and right like it was nothing.

That shadow villain’s quirk had taken up an entire block and Bakugou watched again now in a removed way when the shadows blocked out Deku from Aizawa’s view so he could activate his quirk. Nothing compared to the destruction that Deku had unleashed after that. The civilian’s window had shattered in the explosion and even knocked him backwards. By the time he’d crawled back to the window to finish the video, Deku had been lording over Bakugou and twirling that knife around. It was jarring seeing himself in such a vulnerable state like that.

But it was even worse watching Uraraka get taken again. The way she held out her hand, like she was beckoning Deku to choose her over Bakugou. Take me with you. He’d replayed that part so many times, unable to look away from her. The determined set of her wounded body, the way her hand trembled in the air. She was scared, but she was strong too. She had known that she was making the biggest gamble of her life and the payoff was a lose/lose situation for her.

Deku should’ve killed him. Bakugou knew that in his heart. Deku could easily have killed him and taken her anyways, but he hadn’t. He’d listened. He’d stopped. Yeah, he had sent Bakugou flying with a kick, but he hadn’t chopped Bakugou’s hand off and he hadn’t stuck him with the knife. Even Todoroki had been spared, although they couldn’t get their hopes up.

Everyone was so certain that Uraraka would be more or less okay, but they were deluding themselves. Deku’s mind was so fickle right now. If she said or did anything that shattered his illusion of her, Bakugou was worried that something might really snap in Deku. Whatever Deku felt for her, it wasn’t love anymore, not really, but a twisted version of it, an obsession. Uraraka might have known that, but it still hurt. It still played at the heart. Obsession could turn nasty very quickly though.

Once the video was done playing, Shinsou rewinded it to watch it again. Bakugou walked away, bile rising in the back of his throat along with his rage. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t just stand here and watch her get taken away again. He had to do something, but he felt grounded and lost.

Being back in this stupid safe house was already starting to grate on Bakugou’s nerves. With Uraraka gone, it didn’t serve a purpose in his mind since there was no one to protect (with Todoroki gone, no one was going to lump him in that category, but he couldn’t even revel in that), but they had decided to make it a base of operations. It made sense with all of Hatsume’s equipment here, but he was wary since the League had a hold of two of their own and could find out the location of this place from them.

None of them were quite sure what would happen to either one of them. No sort of ransom had been given and things had been forebodingly quiet. What was going on? Had they killed Todoroki? Tortured him? Those weren’t even the worst thought that had crossed Bakugou’s mind. What if they would try to mess with Todoroki’s mind like they had messed with Deku’s? Taking on the two of them at once sounded like a nightmare.

Shit. All Might and Endeavor really had created the perfect weapons.

“Anything stand out?” Aizawa asked.

Shinsou leaned back in his seat and scratched his chin. “This is different from my quirk.”

“So you believe that it is brainwashing?”

“Well, there are clear moments of hesitation,” Shinsou put in. Bakugou snorted and then paused, wondering if that counted as a verbal response to activate his quirk or if he had to actually say a word. Shinsou glanced back at him, his expression as flat as his voice. “I’m not going to activate my quirk on you.” Bakugou said nothing, just glared at him suspiciously. “This is a serious enough matter that I don’t feel like humiliating you.”

Bakugou worked his jaw, thinking it over, and begrudgingly said, “It sure as hell didn’t seem like he hesitated. He was pretty excited to fight us.” Nothing happened to him, so Shinsou had been telling the truth, at least for now. While he was much more willing to work with others, Uraraka had still pointed out that his natural instinct to distrust everyone was a weakness.

“He didn’t cut your hand off,” Shinsou pointed out, “and he didn’t kill Todoroki. He hasn’t killed anyone, besides a villain, in any of your confrontations with him so far.”

“A moment of clarity?” Bakugou interjected.

“I don’t think so. The emotional outbursts are what truly stand out.”

Shinsou clicked to rewind the video to where Deku broke away from his fight with Bakugou and Todoroki to save Uraraka from the knife villain. Uraraka could’ve taken her on, but she’d allowed herself to get into a compromising situation to pull Deku into a position that would give Aizawa the chance to cancel out his quirk. It had worked. With just one terrified scream, she’d done more to take down Deku than Bakugou and Todoroki combined, playing him at his own game. At the time, he had thought she was in trouble and he’d almost moved to help her, but then Deku had beat him, switching gears so fast that it had taken Bakugou aback.

“He’s a completely different person in this moment, like he breaks character,” Shinsou said. “One second he’s focused on fighting you two, the League’s objective, but when Uraraka is in danger, a switch flips. You can see his entire body relaxing the second he’s with her. It’s hard to see because he’s so fast, but he’s so tensed up when he’s talking and fighting.”

He fast forwarded to the part where Deku had Bakugou pinned down to the ground with a knee. It made Bakugou uncomfortable to watch, seeing himself in a position like that. Though he would never admit it out loud, fear had cut through him in that moment where Deku had held the knife over his wrist. He’d never thought of what might happen to his quirk should something happen to his hands.

Now that Deku had brought it to the forefront of his mind, it was hard for him to not think about it. Those minutes, when Deku had dragged their past through the mud, all Bakugou had been able to think about was how he had been such a fucking child back then. He’d learned over time to not look down on others -- that doing so only held him back -- but back then, he had only thought of how much better he was than everyone else. He had instilled that thought in everyone, especially Deku, using fear and aggression.

No, that wasn’t right. It had been with violence and the threat of more.

And fucking Deku had used the same damn tactic on him.

“This whole exchange confirmed it for me,” Shinsou continued. “All that talking he does before moving to finish the job?”

“Yeah, he was trying to scare me,” Bakugou said with a grunt. His words suggested that it hadn’t worked, but they all knew that bravery was not the absence of fear and it was impossible to face this new Deku without feeling at least a hint of apprehension. “Or rambling like he did all the time. It was annoying then and it’s annoying now.”

Shinsou shook his head. “He was stalling.”

The frown on Aizawa’s face somehow deepened. “How so?”

“You don’t see him obviously hesitating until Uraraka interrupts him, but you said that he talked about how villains get caught because they keep talking or let personal grudges get in the way.” Shinsou tapped a finger on Deku on the screen. “I think some part of him knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn’t override whatever he’s been programmed to do, so he stalled until someone else could stop him.”

“Sure didn’t sound like it,” Bakugou mumbled, folding his arms across his chest. “He was excited.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was,” Shinsou said, eyeing Bakugou like he might enjoy dissecting Bakugou as well. He responded with a sour expression. “The stalling was more of a subconscious decision. He probably wasn’t even aware of it. You said it yourself: he’s still in there, but it’s been buried deep.” Shinsou appeared thoughtful as he rewatched Deku threaten Bakugou on the screen. Did he have to watch it again? “With my quirk, a person is fully aware that they’re being brainwashed, but there is nothing they can do. Midoriya is the only one to have been capable of breaking through it and I still don’t know how.”

“And this one?” Aizawa asked. “If he is under the influence of a brainwashing quirk. They’re rare as is.”

A grimace crossed Shinsou’s features. “Judging from how unstable he is and how he switches back and forth, I would say that the quirk affects the person’s emotions along with their mind. It would explain the extreme highs and lows, plus the switches. Some of his emotions and thoughts aren’t exactly his own, but he feels them as such.” He shook his head. “It must have been a painful process.”

“Why do you say that?” Aizawa questioned.

“I just control a person’s mind and body,” Shinsou answered, shrugging his shoulders. “Midoriya looks as if he’s had his mind twisted. He fought hard against my quirk, to the point of breaking his own finger. I can’t imagine what he went through to struggle against his entire person being changed into something else. We all know Midoriya isn’t a natural born villain. Quite the opposite. A lot must have been done to him in order to transform him into this...monstrosity.”

They watched Uraraka talk Deku down from harming Bakugou any further. It didn’t get easier with each watch, only making his stomach twist even further to the point where he felt sick with anger. Her hand trembling in the air as much as Deku’s had been over Bakugou wrist. You could literally see the change in Deku. The rage turning to grief and then to joy. Even when he’d kicked Bakugou hard across the street, he had been calm. At ease. Peaceful. Like he could finally breathe.

It was almost a touching moment, if not for the violent air that surrounded him.

“You should have died,” Shinsou told him, turning in the seat to look back at him. Bakugou didn’t respond. “If Deku was truly evil now, he would have killed you and taken Uraraka with him anyways. He spared you.”

“Shouldn’t he have killed me if he was being controlled?” Bakugou countered.

“Not if he’s not fully under control.” Shinsou stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, as if washing himself of what he’d seen. “Either way, I suspect the next time you all cross paths with him will be much more unpleasant. He’ll likely be forced to go under more conditioning to ensure that he doesn’t let anyone survive.”

“That look any pleasant to you?” Bakugou shot back.

Shinsou fixed him with an unsettling look that only he and maybe Aizawa could manage with their permanently exhausted expressions, like they were tired of how awful the world could be. “You’re alive, aren’t you?”

That shut Bakugou up, but it didn’t make him any happier. If that had been Deku still holding himself back, he did not want to consider what it would look like when Deku finally didn’t -- or couldn’t. He was still in there, clawing underneath whatever mask they had put over him, but it was clear that he was losing. Bakugou wanted to ask if Shinsou thought Uraraka would be safe, but didn’t want an answer either. There could be no such thing as safe where she was. Even if Deku made sure none of the villains touched her, she was still in a den of snakes.

“With my quirk, a person can be snapped out of it if they’re hurt or startled enough,” Shinsou explained. “It used to be as small as a bump in the shoulder, but can now hold past a broken bone. It’s still not fullproof from outside attacks though.” He shook his head. “Midoriya took multiple hits from you and Todoroki that would’ve broken the hold of my quirk, but it doesn’t phase him. This is an incredibly strong quirk on a mental level I haven’t reached.”

Aizawa fixed Shinsou with a critical look, one that Shinsou appeared to be rather familiar with judging from the frown on his face. “Could your quirk potentially stop him or cancel the other out?”

“Well, he’s already broken it once before, but I am stronger now,” Shinsou pointed out. “It could force both the twisted version of him and his real self to combat each other in order to break free of my quirk. Maybe it would cancel out the other brainwashing entirely.” He held out his hands. “I don’t know. Or it could cause an actual psychological collapse. I don’t think any of us want to see the outcome of that.”

It reminded Bakugou of Deku on the rooftop the night of their first confrontation. How he had looked like he was being torn into two and he’d started to activate his quirk without realizing it like some sort of bomb ready to go off and bring everything down with it. If this destruction was Deku in control, then what was out of control?

Bakugou’s phone ringing startled all of them out of their thoughts. Shinsou snorted at the ringtone itself -- a rage-filled screaming song that Bakugou didn’t think was that obvious but made Uraraka laugh every time she heard it -- but then waved a hand, as if giving Bakugou permission to interrupt their conversation. Whatever. It better have been someone with good news or a lead.

It was Tsuyu, who was one of the last people he’d expected to call him. She had been shaken by Uraraka being taken. Before Bakugou could even say anything when he answered the call, Tsuyu said, “Turn on the news.”

“Which channel?” Bakugou asked, a horrible feeling settling in his gut. Sometimes, her straightforwardness got on his damn nerves, but other times, he could appreciate it. He didn’t know what he wanted right now, to be honest.

“Any of them.”

That seemed to be the gist of the conversation, so Bakugou hung up the phone. A text would’ve sufficed. He strode forward to the computer, ignoring Aizawa’s and Shinsou’s questioning looks, and brought up the most popular news channel, only to get his world rocked by what he saw.

“Symbol of Peace Turned Symbol of Terror?”

The headline was in bold lettering on the bottom of the screen, which was currently playing clips from the very same video that they had just analyzed. There was Todoroki and Bakugou fighting Deku; Uraraka going up against that knife villain; Aizawa and Endeavor fighting five villains at once. Terrified, angry, and confused comments were flooding in so fast that it was almost impossible to read any of them. People were freaking out.

“I thought Midnight said that the footage was safe!” Bakugou exclaimed, rounding on Aizawa.

“She went through it,” Aizawa insisted. “Nothing was sent.”

“They could’ve simply deleted the sent messages,” Bakugou snapped. “Idiots! This is the last thing we fucking need! It’s gonna cause mass hysteria and push back against any heroes connected to him.”

Aizawa shook his head. “The guy was delirious from fear. I don’t think he was capable of sending someone a copy and covering his tracks.”

“Unless it wasn’t his actions,” Shinsou pointed out. “Why didn’t he evacuate like everyone else?”

“He said he wanted to leave, but couldn’t…” Aizawa trailed off and all three men looked at each other as a light bulb went off. The video had captured every damning thing. It showed off Deku at his best and the heroes at their worst. When they glanced back at the screen, they noticed that the news channel had zoomed in on the video as best as they could and were met of a grainy picture of Deku looking back directly into the camera, just as he had done with Uraraka’s security camera that first day he’d resurfaced. “The civilian was being controlled as well.”

Aizawa stepped away from him as he made a call to whoever was holding onto the guy that had taken the video. Bakugou’s phone started going off repeatedly from calls and texts, but he ignored them all, unable to look away from the screen. It suddenly felt like the world was a different place. Everyone had loved Deku. It had been annoying as shit, but he had been adored by the public. He had taken his role in taking over for All Might with everything he had and, combined with that cheesy ass personality of his, he had made a splashy impact even before graduation.

However, the impossible strength that people had once revered him for now made them terrified of him. Seeing someone they had not only adored, but trusted and admired turned into a villain that would destroy a whole street and take down a building shook a lot of people. Some of the comments were about the video being faked. Others about how a villain with a transforming quirk must have been impersonating the dead hero. There were a few that proclaimed they had known all along that Deku was secretly no good -- that he had been “too good to be true”.

Those last ones made Bakugou laugh bitterly. They didn’t know how good Deku was. They didn’t know the boy who had taken on years of abuse from another boy whose strength he admired. They didn’t know the boy who was still able to kind after all that -- who had broken his body to save that same boy who had tortured him mercilessly over an inability to see kindness for what it was.

To think that Bakugou would actually miss Deku…

“I knew something was wrong with the video,” Shinsou muttered to himself, his eyes locked on the screen but looking far away. “It was too still, barely any shaking or talking, and he went right back to taping after Deku took out the entire street instead of hiding. A direct contrast to how Midnight found him.”

“He what?” Aizawa barked into the phone, sounding awake as hell and jerking both Bakugou and Shinsou out of their thoughts. “What do you mean by that?” Taking a deep breath and letting a guttural sound out of his chest that sounded both furious and exhausted, Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is a disaster. As of right now, he’s our only lead. We have reason to believe that he may have information on what’s going on with Midoriya.” He listened to whoever was on the phone, his entire body tense. “So we wait. We don’t have the time. It’s been three days and besides the video being leaked we’ve heard nothing. For all we know, they could be…”

Aizawa didn’t finish the statement. He didn’t have to for everyone to know what he meant. Three days of silence was a terrible thing. It left their imaginations to run wild and it turned out that Bakugou’s imagination was a lot darker than he’d realized. Deku wouldn’t hurt her. He’d promised to not hurt her. He’d told Todoroki that he wanted to keep her safe -- that the League said they would let her live, but he wanted to be careful. She was alive. She was unharmed. She was safe. As for Todoroki, well, they had no clue. All they could say was that the League hadn’t killed him when they’d the chance and that was that.

“Okay, we’ll meet you at U.A.” Aizawa hung up, not one for niceties, especially when he was in foul mood. Before Bakugou could launch a verbal inquiry like a missle, he held up a hand and Bakugou shut his mouth. “You were right. He’s connected with the League somehow.”

“Is he a villain?” Bakugou demanded.

“We don’t know, but I think he might just be a civilian caught in the middle,” Aizawa told him. He shoved his phone back into his pocket. “At any rate, we can’t find out. The second the footage popped up on the television, he went into a fit and somehow ingested a poison capsule of some sort that he had on him.”

Bakugou threw his hands up. “Did you fucking search him?”

“Of course we did,” Aizawa snapped, his voice threatening Bakugou to not question him like that ever again. “They were able to stabilize him, but he’s in a coma and it appears as if whatever he took is not only unrecognizable, but quirk-resistant, so Recovery Girl can do nothing to bring him out.”

Discomfort flooded Bakugou’s body and he blinked. “Quirk...resistant?”

“It would appear as if the League has someone with a quirk similar to mine,” Aizawa said, frustration evident on his tired face. Well, that was great. So the League had their own evil versions of Shinsou and Aizawa. That was just what they needed to deal with. It would definitely make it easier for them to control Uraraka and Todoroki, both of whom had quirks that made them difficult to contain.

Shinsou hummed thoughtfully. “There must have been some sort of cue left in his brain that told him to take the poison when the footage was leaked or when he saw it again.”

“Why not just have him end it before we found him?” Aizawa wondered out loud.

Bakugou looked back at the screen, which was showing Deku’s face again, staring at the camera. It was blurry from being zoomed in so much, but Bakugou could still picture what Deku’s eyes looked like. Dead, void of anything to suggest he was alive. He looked like that when he was fighting these days. It was only when he saw Uraraka or something truly upset him that those eyes light up like green orbs.

When Bakugou’s phone went off again, he growled in frustration and was ready to rip it open to yell at whoever thought he was the best person to freak out with when he came to a halt. The contact name left him breathless and that punch to the gut feeling came over him again.

He must have been pale in the face or something because Aizawa put a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder and snapped him out of it. “Who is it?”

Bakugou turned his phone for Aizawa to see. It was a number that he hadn’t called in a very long time. Almost eleven months to be exact. Before that, it had been much, much longer, years, over a decade. He had kept the number plugged into his phone mostly because he’d forgotten that it was there and it was transferred every time he upgraded phones. When he’d needed it all those months ago, he had been surprised to find it already there.

The contact read just as it had all those years ago when he’d first put it in as a kid: Deku’s Home.

It was his mom. It was Deku’s mom, Inko Midoriya.

Bakugou’s stomach dropped. She must have seen the video on the news. With Uraraka having been taken, he was the person that she would call next.

When he let the call go to voicemail, not knowing what to do, Aizawa sighed. “I’ll go speak with her.” They had kept her under a close surveillance since being alerted to Deku’s presence in case he tried to contact her, but Deku had kept his distance, perhaps not wanting to involve his mother either. “We should have done it before, but I’d hoped to spare her this pain for as long as possible.”

“No,” Bakugou said flatly, “I’ll do it.” He swallowed. “It… It should be me.”

“Are you sure?” Aizawa asked, his expression unreadable.

With that look in his eyes, Bakugou couldn’t tell if Aizawa thought him capable of handling such a delicate matter. Truth be told, he didn’t know either, seeing as how comfort and delicacy were not his fortes in the slightest. He couldn’t treat Deku’s mom like he had Uraraka. But he recalled letting the small woman hug and cry on him after she was told the news of Deku’s death and then at his funeral. He hadn’t said a word, but he hadn’t had to. Uraraka had told him that he’d done what was needed most of him. To be strong, a pillar, a constant. He wasn’t certain that was what Deku’s mom would need now, but if he had to draw inspiration from Uraraka, then he’d do it.

You didn’t think this was just about Ochako, did you?

No, it had to be him. This was partly his responsibility, after all, and it was time he owned up to it.

Tsuyu was already waiting outside of the apartment complex when Bakugou showed up. Since Deku had made his reappearance, Bakugou felt like he’d been bolting out of cars and running for it, but this time, he took his time. He sat in his car for a moment before shoving the door open and dragging himself out. After he slammed the door and locked it, he slunk over in her direction. They didn’t have time to do anything slow -- not when it felt like there was a timer ticking away in Bakugou’s head (ending in what, he didn’t know) -- but this had to be done.

“This is going to fucking suck,” Bakugou decided.

“I’m surprised you chose to come,” Tsuyu said, never one to mince her words.

Bakugou shoved his hands in his pockets, but said nothing as he watched another car pull in. As he’d left the safe house, he’d made two calls. They didn’t have to come, but Bakugou knew for a fact that he couldn’t do this alone. He was strong in a lot of ways and better than many in others, but even he could admit that he lacked when it came to emotional comfort. And he knew what Deku’s mom was like. She was just as emotional as her son.

When All Might unfolded himself out of the car, Bakugou looked down at his feet. He had to be here, but he would need the other two to actually help with the comforting part. Admitting any sort of weakness was rough, but it was especially difficult after suffering such a painful defeat. Even worse was the fact that they hadn’t been the first people that he’d thought of to do this with him.

“I’m glad you called,” All Might said, somehow looking thinner and more worn down than ever before. “You should not have to do this alone.”

“I…” Bakugou swallowed a lump in his throat. “I didn’t know who to call at first.” His gaze turned into a glower, as if his feet had offended him somehow. “My first thought was Uraraka. She’d be good at this, you know? She’s kind and sweet and good at comforting shit. But she’s gone and I have to tell Deku’s mom that her son kidnapped her.”

All Might put a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder and he didn’t flinch, but he tensed up underneath the touch of his still favorite hero. He’d lost more than Bakugou in this, hadn’t he? Bakugou hated relying on All Might or anyone else. It shouldn’t be like this. He shouldn’t be so weak.

“You know what the real kicker is though?” Bakugou lifted his head and dropped it back so that he could look at the sky. Dark clouds were swelling above them, as if the mood was contagious to the weather. A storm was about to break. It was better than if it was shining. He didn’t think he could handle a sunny day. “I can’t believe I actually fucking thought that I’d want Todoroki around.” He laughed coldly and maybe a little bit hysterically. When that Half and Half Bastard had first crossed his mind, he’d almost wrecked the car in shock and irritation. “Deku’s mom adored them both and I thought, ‘I wish Todoroki was here to do this.’ What is wrong with me?”

“This is a very trying time for all of us,” All Might told him gently. He hated being spoken to like that and shrugged out from underneath the former hero’s hand. It didn’t seem to offend him though. “We’re all processing this as best as we can, but it’s difficult. Midoriya meant a lot to all of us in different ways.”

“That shitty Deku…” Bakugou growled and even worse was that he knew he didn’t really mean it. He hadn’t meant it for a long time, but old habits died hard.

“I’m proud of you for coming here,” All Might said. Back in the day, those words might have meant something, but now they just made Bakugou feel hollow. What was there to be proud of?

A terrible feeling swelled up inside Bakugou to the point that he felt himself getting overwhelmed, like it might swallow him whole. “I had to come. I had to…” He rubbed his face with his hands. “We’re only here because of me. Because of my weakness. If it wasn’t for that, none of this would’ve happened.”

All Might frowned. “Bakugou, you did everything you could to stop him--”

“That’s not it!” Bakugou snapped. The dark shadow that rested in the back of his mind threatened to take over, as it always did when he thought back to that night eleven months ago. The one that whispered that he didn’t deserve to be a hero, the one that was clawing its way back to the surface and breaking pieces from him. “Back when Deku jumped to stop that villain and Uraraka yelled at me to throw her to him, I hesitated. I fucking hesitated. Do you understand? She missed him by inches, by seconds -- because I wasted time. I don’t even remember why. She had to yell at me to snap out of it and then I threw her as hard as I could, but it was too late.”

“Midoriya’s...death was not your fault,” All Might said, his face sad as he soaked in the shame radiating from Bakugou. They couldn’t save everyone. As students, they had been told that right from the start. When they were heroes, they wouldn’t be able to save everyone. And for Bakugou, that person had been Deku. When it counted the most, he didn’t do it. He’d questioned everything and in the few seconds he’d held back all had been lost.

“Are you sure?” Bakugou threw back. “If I hadn’t hesitated, chances are Deku would be alive. None of this shit would be happening. I bet he and Uraraka would be engaged, talking about kids, all that stupid domestic shit that they dreamed about.” He felt sick. This was a bad idea. He never should’ve come. “We wouldn’t be here, off to tell a kind as hell woman that the only family she had left, her only son, has been alive this whole time and is now a villain who will destroy an entire block because he’s jealous or just been told to.”

His whole body sagged under the weight of everything. He had mentioned to Uraraka what felt like a lifetime ago that Deku’s death might’ve been his fault for not aiming her right when he’d thrown her over the ocean to save Deku. It was like she didn’t remember him staring back at her with wide eyes like he hadn’t heard her yelling at him to throw her. When she had said it, all he could think was that she and Deku would both die and it was storming so violently and he couldn’t think because Deku was falling and he--

“None of this is your fault,” All Might told him fiercely.

He had lost someone again because of weakness or hesitation. It was a low blow. Bakugou expected that Deku knew that and was letting the bitter wound fester inside of Bakugou to weaken him further.

“Whatever.” Bakugou jerked away from them and their too-kind eyes. He shoved the shame to the side, hiding behind his usual walls again. He’d gotten onto everyone about letting their guilt consume them and here he was doing it out in public. He turned and started for the building. “Let’s just do this. I’ve got to get to UA to meet everyone else.”

Even though he headed that way first, by the time they reached the Midoriya residence, Bakugou was hanging in the back behind All Might and Tsuyu. They would have much more soothing faces than the scowl that he was trying to wipe off his face. The second the door opened, they were all greeted with Ink Midoriya’s red tear-stained face and she burst into a fresh set of tears, throwing her arms around All Might.

Somehow, they all made it inside with All Might guiding Deku’s mom back to the couch. The television was on, the video playing in the background as multiple news people, hero fans, and villain experts debated over it. Thank everything the volume was turned off, most likely because she couldn’t what was being said about her son, but Bakugou searched for the remote to turn it off while Tsuyu made them tea. She didn’t need to watch it anymore. Already he could tell that it had been too much.

He had thought that All Might looked frail, but it was nothing compared to Deku’s mom right now.

“Wh-what happened t-to m-my sweet boy?” she cried through the tears, her face pressed against All Might’s bony shoulder as she clung to the material of his sleeve. Her whole body shook with sobs as the tears poured down her face, so much like Deku. It was a wonder that she had any tears left to cry or she hadn’t completely dehydrated herself. The floor was littered with crumpled up tissues. “I-I thought h-he was d-dead!”

There was really nothing that they could be said. All Might looked as much at a loss as Bakugou felt, but at least All Might was holding onto her and giving her the physical support that she needed, even if it did look like she might break him if she held onto him too tightly. Tsuyu walked back in with tea and nudged it in the older woman’s direction. It wasn’t much, but it did provide a small distraction, if only for a second.

“It c-can’t be him, can it?” Mrs. Midoriya whimpered, staring down at the tea. “It-It’s not him. He wouldn’t… He couldn’t…”

The cup began to rattle so violently in her hands that Bakugou was certain it was going to spill tea all over her, so he reached over to take it from her and set it down on the table. She startled and stared up at him, as if suddenly realizing that he was there. It had been a long time since he’d seen her, but the last she’d seen him had been on that video where he had been fighting against her son with the clear intent to subdue him by any means necessary.

“It’s him,” Bakugou told her in a low voice, unable to lie to her. He should’ve been softer about it -- should have been kinder somehow -- be he didn’t know how. Lying to her was too cruel besides. She deserved to know the truth. Maybe not all of it, but some at least. She didn’t need to know that her son had killed people. Bakugou was an asshole, but he wasn’t completely cold-hearted. That would destroy her. And Deku wouldn’t want that.

“How?” she asked in a pained voice so similar to the one Deku had used on him days ago when talking about their history. “How could this have happened? He’s… He was such a good boy...” She turned her gaze to All Might. “All he ever wanted to be was just like you. This… This isn’t him.” She looked back at Bakugou. “You knew him. You’ve known him all his life. He’s kind. He’s sweet. He’s good. What happened? Why?”

Because I failed him, that voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He squashed it down viciously and admitted, “We don’t know much. It looks like a group of villains found him before our search efforts could and…” His mouth was dry, but he didn’t make a move to grab the one of the other teas that Tsuyu had brought. He glanced down, noting the way that Mrs. Midoriya was clinging to Tsuyu’s hands with one of her own now. “They did something to his mind. A villain with some sort of brainwashing quirk. He still remembers us, so it’s not amnesia or anything like that, but it’s like everything is twisted around.”

It was a piss poor explanation to a mother who probably felt like she’d lost her child all over again. A vicious streak of anger tore through Bakugou in that moment. How could Deku do this? He hadn’t even mentioned his mother yet and they all knew how much Deku had loved and adored her. The only thing Bakugou could think was that Deku was trying to keep her out of it. There could be no ill feelings towards the woman that had raised him on her own, protected him, loved him, believed in him. It would be best to leave her alone. At least Bakugou hoped.

Mrs. Midoriya pulled her hands away from Tsuyu and All Might so she could fiddle with them. The tears had mostly dried, but Bakugou thought it was most likely because she had simply run out. “What about Ochako?” Her eyes dropped down to her hands. “I saw that he…” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Izuku wouldn’t hurt her. He loved… He loves her. He wanted to marry her, you know? But they both had their hero careers and he was worried that they were too young…” She lifted her hands, shielding her face. “I can’t believe this is happening. Izuku is a hero. Why would someone do this to him?”

All Might sighed next to her. “He carries an immense power within him. They must seek to exploit it through him and it appears as if they have used his love for Uraraka in some part to manipulate him.”

Deku’s mom must have known about One for All then. She pulled her hands away from her face and nodded her head in miserable understanding. What he didn’t understand was the guilt on her face, as if she thought it was her fault that she’d let him get into a vulnerable position. Bakugou knew damn well that no one could tell Deku what to do in the end once he put his mind to something. The nerd had found a way to get a quirk and become a hero, something unheard of before.

“But you can get him back, can’t you?” she asked, a fearful hope shining in her eyes that were so like Deku’s. It was unnerving to look her in the eyes when all he could think about was the way Deku’s eyes had looked before he had vanished into the warp gate with his arm around Uraraka’s shoulder and then when he had been holding the knife. “You said he’s being brainwashed by a quirk, so there be a way to save him.” She picked up a photo frame that had been lying face on the table, gazing over it fondly before she lifted her eyes to Bakugou’s. “You can save him, right? Him and Ochako and Todoroki… You can bring him back.”

It felt like there was a rock in Bakugou’s throat and it was slowly making its way down to the pit of his stomach. His eyes glimpsed the picture she was holding -- her and a three year-old Deku smiling cheesily at the camera while he wore his favorite All Might costume pajamas, still happy and excited because he didn’t know yet that he was quirkless -- and his stomach dropped.

Nonetheless, Bakugou raised his eyes back to her and nodded his head jerkily. “I’ll get them back -- all of them -- and I will save Deku.” His voice was as firm as ever and he hoped his eyes looked the same, but a part of him felt jarred by this moment more than anything else. He knew that she wasn’t placing all her hopes on his shoulders, but as someone that tried to outpace everyone on his own first, it certainly felt like it. “If it’s the last thing I do, I’m bringing them home.”

Deku’s mom jumped to her feet and moved around the table so that she could throw her arms around him. She was small like Uraraka and he could feel her tears wet his shirt. At first, he stood there stiffly, letting her hug him and then he could’ve sworn that he heard Uraraka gently urging him forward, telling him what to do. His arms moved slowly of their own accord until finally he returned the hug.

“I’m sorry, Bakugou,” she cried against his shirt. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. I feel so weak. He’s out there… My boy is out there and I keep wondering if there was something more I could’ve done, but I don’t know what.” She pulled away from him slightly and had to tilt her head to look him in the face. He honestly didn’t know what he looked like right now. All he felt was slightly stunned and numb in this moment. “You are so brave that it’s hard to see how much this is hurting you. I don’t mean to put more on your shoulders, but if anyone can save them…”

In that moment, Bakugou couldn’t speak if he tried. He wasn’t used to this, not from his family or anyone else. The only ones that came close were Kirishima and Uraraka. This woman looked so much like Deku or he looked like her. In a way, they sounded like each other too, although Deku’s mom was clearly more afraid and softer somehow. Had he inherited anything from his father?

Bakugou didn’t understand how she could be so kind or so caring with someone she had to have known was cruel to her son for years. Their friendship had been one that so very clearly involved a power imbalance that Bakugou had taken glee out of whenever he thought Deku was looking down on him despite being quirkless. What was it that Deku had said? That his mother had been forced to mend clothes that Bakugou had destroyed with his quirk or sometimes throw them out altogether and buy him new ones? They hadn’t been wealthy, especially not when his mom became a single parent.

It struck Bakugou suddenly that he didn’t even know when Deku’s dad had left, either unable and not wanting to deal with the embarrassment of having a quirkless child, something that Bakugou had often rubbed in Deku’s face with his own. Surely his mother had known that he was being bullied, even if Deku had never talked about it outright. And yet she here she was, bleeding comfort into him, giving him a tremulous smile and looking at him like he was filled with hope and good.

That terrible wave of emotions that he’d been bottling up since Deku’s death crashed over him and it was too much for him to deal with in front of other people.

“I have to go,” Bakugou found himself saying, his voice thick with emotion, and he peeled out of her grip. She didn’t look surprised or hurt, seeming to understand that he needed to get away. Without looking at All Might or Tsuyu, he turned on his heels and walked out of the apartment. The second the breeze from the oncoming storm hit him, a wave of nausea struck him and he put a hand over his eyes and took a few deep breaths to stop it.

How could she be so good? How could she believe in him so much? How could she be so loving when so much of the world had turned its back on her and her son? It was like dealing with Deku all over again. Bakugou knew that it was kindness now -- that a smile was not a sneer -- that a hug was not a belief of weakness. But it still stung.

He dropped his hand at his side and stared out into the cloudy sky. I wish Uraraka was here, was the only clear thought in the tangled mess of his mind.

The door opened behind him and Bakugou wiped away any semblance of emotion from his face. He felt like he was trying to imitate Todoroki, but he had never been good at completely blank expressions. There was always something showing in his eyes. Tsuyu came out alone and shut the door behind herself, saying,. “All Might is going to stay here with her for a while longer. She needs it. There’s a little more to explain and I think he wants her to come stay at UA.”

“Good,” Bakugou said flatly, “she shouldn’t be alone.”

Tsuyu eyed him carefully, which only made Bakugou scowl and start down the stairs. He didn’t need her analyzing him or thinking that she knew how he felt. “You’re allowed to show grief, you know,” she told him as she followed him down. “You don’t have to always be angry.”

“I am angry,” Bakugou snapped like a whip. “I’m pissed.”

“You’re scared, too.”

Bakugou rounded on her sharply. “I’m not fucking scared.”

Of course Tsuyu didn’t back down. She merely blinked, standing face-to face with him since she was three steps above him. “You’re scared for Uraraka.” And damn her if she wasn’t right, but Bakugou didn’t want to admit that. He didn’t want to bring up the fact that he could barely sleep because he didn’t even know how she was sleeping. Was she in a bed? A cot in a cell? A cold floor? Deku wouldn’t allow that, would he? Out of his mind as he was, he wanted her to be happy as safe. Right? “You do a good job hiding it, but it’s in your eyes. Every now and then, you’ll glance around, like you’re looking for her, and then you get this look when you start thinking about it.”

“Would you stop?” Bakugou demanded, instantly hating how needy he sounded.

“Stop what?” Tsuyu asked, tilting her head.

Bakugou waved his hands in the air. “Stop analyzing me. I fucking hate it. I don’t need you trying to get into my head, okay? I’ve got enough things to worry about.”

“I’m just saying that you don’t need to deal with this alone,” Tsuyu responded, so infuriatingly nice. And this was why he didn’t hang around her a ton. She had next to no filter and even worse was that she was right most of the time. It was annoying. “We’re all trying to cope with this together. It’s not healthy for you to do it on your own, especially when you have such a huge role in this.”

“Yeah, apparently my role is to fail repeatedly so everyone gets hurt,” Bakugou ground out bitterly. He didn’t mean to admit any of this out loud and he was angry with himself for doing so earlier. He shouldn’t have said any of that stuff about his hesitating and Deku’s death, at least not in front of Tsuyu or All Might. It would’ve been better had he told Kirishima, but no, Bakugou had kept it to himself until he couldn’t. He’d half-assed told Uraraka, but hadn’t wanted to burden her more than she already had been with it being Deku’s birthday.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Tsuyu sighed. “If you’d talked with the others, you would know that isn’t the case. No one sees you as a failure except yourself.” She frowned at him, which was a look that a lot of people fixed him with but seemed particularly bad these days. “It’s holding you back instead of pushing you forward.”

Stomping down the rest of the way down the stairs, Bakugou grumbled, “Couldn’t I say the same thing for you? I haven’t seen you crying or anything. Uraraka was your best friend and you were close with Deku.”

“I know better than to cry in front of you,” Tsuyu said. “You’d just call it a waste of time.”

Well she was right about that. It was a waste of time. The closest he’d come to doing it in a while had been when Uraraka and Todoroki had been taken. He’d settled for screaming it out, but tears had burned his eyes. Some of them might have fallen to the ground and down his cheeks, but it hadn’t been full on crying. He wouldn’t lie and say that he’d never cried before, but he was an angry crier. And as furious as he had been, sorrow and fear had been more prevalent once the warp gate closed.

“Whatever. Let’s just get to UA.” Bakugou pressed the button to unlock his car and then pulled the door open. Time to speed like hell out of here. Back to pedal to the metal mode. “Hopefully they’ve come up with something.”

At this point, anything would be an improvement. He had to do something. It had been too long. He needed to find them more than anything.

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sssoto · 7 years

Photo

Sorry for posting late, I’ve been running to get this done in time for today cuz I’m going to watch the HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME MUSICAL IN COPENHAGEN TONIGHT YAAAAAAAAS.

So here’s my little Esmeralda tribute, my warm up for the big night I’ve been anticipating since I got the ticket as a Christmas present this past holiday! Esmeralda is my queen, and I’ve long been wanting to make fanart of her, so what better way than in time for going in to watch the musical of my all time favourite Disney movie? I’m happy with how she turned out, and I hope other Esmeralda fans will appreciate her too <3

As I’m posting this, the show is just about to start, so EXCITEMENT IS HIGH *SQUEALS*. Hope y’all are having a great evening as well!!

I’m going to be adding an additional Disney portrait to this post very soon, so if you plan to reblog this, I’d really appreciate if you’d wait till I’ve added it! Thank you very much <3

UPDATE 07/16-17:

So here’s the additional portrat I promised y’all! See, I can actually stick to my schedules lol.

Once again I post on a Sunday though I try to stick to Fridays, but I swear I actually got this up in pretty good time considering the fact that a) I got sick with the flu this week and was stuck in bed for a few days (in which time I got some writing done instead so I wasn’t totally unproductive, wee!), and b) I actually completely scrapped the initial version I did of Kida and started from scratch with a new sketch because I didn’t like how it was turning out. That’s why this final portrait looks different from the sketch in my last creator’s update, if any of you saw that!

What I like about this the most is probably the crystal. That shit gloooooows.

God I love Kida and Esmeralda, they’re both such badass women, and even better, they’re WOC kicking ass and fighting for what’s important. Goals, man, goals. These two ladies were my idols when I was a wee little Soto, and they continue to inspire me to this day <3

Oh, and if any of you wonder about the musical, it was actually rather disappointing. The production tried to mix the Disney version with the book, and it didn’t work very well. The characters lost all the nuance which made them interesting (seriously, I felt as though Esmeralda was reduced to a strong female character trope in which she showcased her ‘strength’ by being seductive, hysterical and screaming all the time. Geez), and character motivation wasn’t strong enough for the plot points because the directors/actors seemed confused about which version of the character to go with. ‘Cause, let’s face it, the Disney movie characters are vastly different from the book characters, and blending them together is like trying to fit two diametrically opposite minds in one person. I also felt like the production didn’t take advantage of all the creative possibilities in regards to stage production, props, scenography, choreography, etc. Long story short, it was a let down >_> But anywho, a musical is a musical, and it was still an experience!

Hope you guys are having an awesome weekend, and until next time! <3

Artwork on deviantART

Speedpaint on Youtube

#disney #esmeralda #the hunchback of notre dame #kida nedakh #atlantis the lost empire #kidagakash nedakh #fanart #my art #illustration #portrait

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kriscynical · 7 years

Note

artists ask thing o3o question 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 18 and 25

This is so late but every time I’ve had time to sit down and answer it’s been… like… 3am. lol

2) How long have you been drawing?

In general I’ve been drawing for just shy of 30 years, or since I was three. My mother says I would stand at one of the end tables with a little pencil and piece of paper and scratch little lines on it rather than scribble like other toddlers typically would at that age.

As for “serious” drawing, I’ve been dedicated to studying and trying to improve for 20 years now, or since I was 12. That’s when I decided that I wanted to be an artist for a living instead of a meteorologist (even though I’m still an amateur weather nut). My dad actually put the idea in my head of being an artist, which is unfortunately the opposite of so many other artists’ experiences. I was blessed with incredibly supportive parents and even my teachers in high school encouraged my work, let me draw during class, etc. (when I told one of my favorite teachers that I had applied to art school she said “Good, because if you hadn’t I would have killed you.”).

4) Do you have a deviantART, personal website, or art blog?

Yes, I do. My deviantART (and everything, really) is under kriscynical just like it is here on tumblr. I have links to all of that good stuff on the side bar of my blog and the watermark I put across all of my work.

My personal website has been down for several months now since it was on a private server that went kaput and I’ve been putting off going through the hassle of completely rebuilding it on a new service. I really NEED to get something up there before A-Kon, though! I’m probably going to go with Wix when I finally bite the bullet and migrate. My domain is KristinsStudio.com. (Note the two i’s! No e’s!)

I don’t have an art blog, just this blog where I post everything including my artwork.

6) What’s your least favorite thing to draw?

Inanimate objects and backgrounds. If you want to torture me, make me draw machinery or mechas. I vastly prefer drawing organic living things, especially people. I enjoy drawing emotion.

8) Do you draw professionally, or just for fun?

Both. :)

I do fanart for fun which has an overlap with anime conventions where I sell in the artist alley, but I’m an illustrator and colorist for a living. I freelance for both, I’m a colorist for a production company here in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area (meaning I get paid to color my art director’s line drawings like a coloring book), and I also dabble in graphic design for things like wedding stationery and business logos.

10) Are you confident about your art?

Yes. I know I’m skilled at what I do. That doesn’t mean I don’t think there’s any room for improvement, though. As per the quote I have on my blog’s sidebar:

“The greater the artist, the greater the doubt; perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize” –Robert Hughes

There’s a difference between “confidence” and “perfect confidence”. Confidence is knowing you’re good at something. Perfect confidence is thinking you’re beyond needing improvement, which crosses into arrogance and quickly leads to stagnation and backsliding.

12) Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

Absolutely! I can blather about that stuff endlessly. Similarly, it’s absolutely okay for people to ask me for crit or pointers on their own stuff. I tutor people online all the time for drawing and digital art.

14) Do you ever collaborate with others?

Other artists? No.

Writers? Yes.

I always seem to gravitate to writers when I get into a fandom, and most of my online friends are writers. I’ve collaborated with writers several times in several fandoms because while I can plot until the cows come home, I can’t write fiction to save my life (I can write editorials and academically with no problems). I plot with them, they write it, I illustrate it. I love working on stuff like that.

18) What are you currently trying to improve on?

Extreme facial angles and foreshortening of arms and legs.

Past subjects include the female pelvis and breasts (I vastly prefer drawing guys) and back in high school I spent two or three years studying hands and feet.

25) Do you like to draw in silence, or with music?

Music, always. I have dozens of playlists set up for whatever mood or subject I’m trying to get in my work and have a mental catalog of songs I default to for different things including a ton of instrumental scores. I think I have more scores on my iPod than songs with lyrics.

Here’s the question list. Send me more, guys! :)

#asks #ksclaw #question meme #i am a big fat artist

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lakesandquarries · 8 years

Text

Great White Gravity - Chapter Two

Pairings: taako/kravitz, taako & angus mcdonald Characters: taako, kravitz, angus mcdonald Other Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, sazed sucks, ango and his 2 dads, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, sad boys Warnings: sazed, ptsd, Summary: In the aftermath of the goblet, Taako tries to deal. Other Notes: hella spoilery. title from “lifeline” by imogen heap shoutout to @juicywizards for their amazing fanart!!

AO3

In the morning, Taako remembers why he never shares a bed with anyone.

For one thing, it inevitably ends with someone on the floor. He wakes up with his face pushed against the carpet, fibers probably being absorbed into his face. He does not have enough cleanser for this. Sighing, he pushes himself up, cringing at the feeling of lint clinging to his face.

Ugh.

Angus, meanwhile, is curled up in Taako’s bed. Taako’s big, beautiful, soft bed. He's even cuddling with Taako's sleep sack.

Whatever. It's not like he needs any more sleep. He stands, stretching his limbs and wincing at the series of cracks and pops. He takes a moment to glance in his mirror, trying to brush the carpet bits off his face, making sure his hair looks decent, adjusting his lacy pink nightgown.

He leaves Angus. Kids need sleep, right? Probably.

As he walks into the living room, Magnus waves. “Yo,” he calls. “You sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Taako says. It's only a half lie, really.

“Then why did I hear the door open at like, four am?”

….fuck.

“Uh,” Taako says, twisting one of his rings. “Look, Magnus -”

“You don't have to lie,” Magnus says. “I get it. Nightmares, right?”

“...maybe,” Taako admits.

Magnus stands and walks over to Taako. Elves are supposed to be taller than humans, but Magnus is tall and Taako's short, and Magnus is almost exactly a head taller than him.

Magnus holds his arms out, a wordless offering, but Taako makes a show of rolling his eyes and huffing before he accepts the hug. Magnus is good at hugs. He's like a dog, almost, big and soft and sometimes a little scary looking until you realize all he wants is to be friends. Taako lets Magnus envelop him, leaning all his weight on the human until Magnus is basically holding him up.

It's...nice. He'd never admit it out loud, of course, but there's something nice about letting someone else hold him. He lets himself zone out, shutting his eyes.

He wakes up two hours later, on the couch, Magnus still holding him.

“Heyyy,” Magnus says, patting Taako's hair. “You fell asleep hugging me.”

“I'm dead,” Taako says. “This is the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

Magnus pets his hair. Taako longs for death’s sweet embrace.

….speaking of. He sits up quickly, nearly falling off the couch. There’s a half-formed idea in the back of his head, working its way to actual thought.

Kravitz is dead. Therefore, if Taako fed him poisoned food, he’d be totally fine. And Taako could spin it as a romantic date, instead of him being a fucked up mess.

It’s perfect. A grin makes its way onto his face, and Magnus looks at him.

“Taako? You okay there bud?”

“Peachy,” Taako says. “I just had the best idea.”

“You wanna share, or…?”

“Nope!” Taako shouts, shoving himself off of Magnus and rushing to his room. He ignores Angus, still asleep on the bed, and digs through the pockets of his cape.

“Where is it, where is it…” he mutters, wishing he kept his pockets neater. Finally, underneath three candy wrappers and a ring, he finds what he’s looking for - his Stone of Farspeech. He glances at Angus before he calls Kravitz.

“Yo, Kravitz, my dude, you there?” Not his best opening, but whatever. He can work with it.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks.

“Got it in one. I was wonderin’ if you’d maybe like to….Come stop by? Hang out?”

Kravitz is silent on the other end.

Shit, Taako thinks. Shit, shit shit.

“Is this for business, or for pleasure?” Kravitz asks.

Taako grins. “Pleasure,” he tells Kravitz, voice smooth and with no trace of the panic he was feeling just a few seconds ago.

Kravitz makes a noise. Taako’s not entirely sure what it means - confusion, maybe? But he continues on. “I was thinking, our last….Meeting ended kinda abruptly, right? So maybe you could do you little rift thing again, come over at….well, time’s a little weird up on the moonbase, but let’s say in six hours?”

“Oh,” Kravitz says. “I would…” He mumbles something about jobs he has, and Taako can hear him flip through some papers and write something down, and finally Kravitz speaks again. “I can’t get there for nine hours,” he says, sounding genuinely sorry. “Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, that’d work,” Taako says, trying his best to sound like he doesn’t even care if Kravitz takes nine hours or three or two days. Gotta be cool.

“So. It’s a date, then?” Kravitz asks.

“It’s a date. Wear something nice,” Taako says, and Kravitz snorts.

“I’ll see you then, Taako.” Kravitz ends the call.

Nine hours. He can definitely be ready by then. He just has to get everyone of the suite, take a long shower, make sure he looks perfect, and cook an entire meal.

He can do this.

“Sir?”

Oh, fuck.

“Who was that?” Angus asks, tilting his head at Taako.

“How much did you hear?” Taako asks in response.

“Are you really going on a date, sir?” he asks, with a face that can only be described as “delighted”.

“Hells yeah,” Taako says, grinning at Angus.

“Who’s it with? Do I know them? Are they nice? Are they part of the Bureau? Are they -”

“Woah, woah, Ango, slow down. You don’t know him, he’s cool, and he’s not part of the Bureau.”

Angus frowns. “But if he’s not part of the Bureau, why’re you inviting him here? How are you inviting him? The Director won’t be happy, if she finds out.”

“Um,” Taako says. “Well, uh….He’s aware of the Bureau? It’s complicated, don’t worry yourself about it.”

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me,” Angus says. “What’s his name?”

“I’ll tell you his name but you gotta promise not to tell anyone else. Okay?”

Angus nods, rolling his eyes.

“His name is Kravitz. And no one can know about that, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Can I meet him?”

“Maybe some other day.” Probably never.

“Okay!” Angus says, still looking delighted. Taako grins at him.

“Now, you gotta go back to your room, cause I need to prepare.” He makes a motion to push Angus and the boy nods, scurrying off the bed. He glances back at Taako, hand on the doorknob.

“Thanks, Sir,” he says quietly, a tentative smile on his face. Taako’s about to say something snarky, but he stops himself.

“Anytime, Ango,” he says, and Angus nods at him before slipping out of the room.

----

As it turns out, nine hours is just enough time. Taako takes an hour long bath, first, then takes another half hour just to dry off and fix his hair, and then it’s two hours to get dressed and do makeup, leaving him with five and a half hours to cook and get Magnus and Merle out of the suite.

Which, speaking of, he has an idea.

“Angus!” he says as he turns his Stone to Angus’s channel. “Ango, I need your help!”

“What do you need?” Angus says a moment later, sounding slightly out of breath.

“I need you to get Mags and Merle out of the suite.”

“I can do that, Sir!” Angus says cheerfully. “I’m great at distracting people. It’s an important part of being a detective! How long, and when?”

“As long as you can. I won’t need you to for another couple of hours, but I’m gonna need them gone. Can’t have those bozos screwing up my date.”

Taako can practically hear Angus nod. “Okay! Call me when you need me!” he says, and then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “I love you!” and hangs up.

Fuck him, Taako might think he loves the kid back. He quickly takes his feelings and pushes them as far down as possible. Fuck that shit.

This is no time for feelings. It’s time for cooking.

He shoos Merle and Magnus out of the kitchen, quite literally, and makes a frankly unreasonable amount of food. Some of it is the kind of simple shit he makes Merle and Magnus all the time, which he nearly throws at them. While they’re eating round one he makes a quick call to Angus, telling him to do his thing

“You’re in a mood,” Merle comments as a sandwich nearly hits him in the face.

“Hello, Sirs!” Angus says as he opens to door to the suite.

“Oh god,” Merle says. “Who invited him?”

Angus’s shoulders slump. “I just wanted to ask you guys for some help…” he says quietly.

“What d’you need, Ango?” Magnus asks, ruffling the boys hair. Angus grins at Taako, and Taako gives him a thumBs up before vanishing back into the kitchen.

“I wanted to ask if you and Merle would….train me, maybe?” He whispers the last part, still loud enough that Taako can hear, continuing with, “I know Taako already is but he can only train me in magic and I wanna learn other stuff too!”

“Ugh,” Merle complains.

“Shush,” Magnus says. “Of course, Angus! Wanna go to the icosagon?”

“Yes!” Angus says, and Taako doesn’t have to look to know there’s stars in Angus’s eyes. He listens to Merle make a few more half-assed protests before the sound of the door closing and then blissful silence.

The silence lasts about ten seconds, immediately replaced by the sound of cooking and Taako’s loud, off-key singing.

He goes for something kinda simple. Pasta.

From scratch.

So, okay, not that simple. He’s got the dough ready when he realizes he has no way to flatten it into actual noodle shapes. He takes a deep breath.

Okay. He just has to reshape them with magic. It’s not even transmutation magic. He can do this.

It takes him twenty minutes to reshape the dough into noodles.

He leaves the noodles for now, letting them sit, and getting started on his sauce. Just a simple marinara tonight.

He can do this, he reminds himself, shutting his eyes and transmuting a cut in half tomato into a whole tomato.

Everything will be fine.

It’s incredible how much someone can cook in three hours. By the time all the food is ready, he has half an hour to set the table, which he manages in fifteen minutes, leaving him with just enough time to have a panic attack.

What if it tastes awful? What if he someone manages to kill an already dead man? What if Kravitz realizes how stupid and awful and pathetic he is?

Stop, he thinks. He can’t start crying now, he’ll ruin his makeup and he absolutely does not have the time to redo it all. He takes a deep breath, then another, than a third, until he’s breathing like a normal person again.

He’s fine. It’s fine. Everything. Is. Fine.

….probably.

#the adventure zone #taz #taakitz #taako taco #angus mcdonald #cora writes #adventures of cora #gwg

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