#dirty ghetto kids

[friedchickenluver]

n2deep | full-length smut | modern!adult!zuko x f. reader

warning(s): sloppy oral sex (f. receiving), 69 position, mating press, rough sex, light spanking, squirting, dirty talk, car sex, implied recording, belly swells, dick imprint, cervix kissing, choking, ghetto ass bondage, breeding, overstimulation, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), rimming, anal thumbing, not proofread and I can barely write dialogue without cringing

wc: 2k+

notes: yeah i decided to post it on here.

•𑁍•

Zuko is the type of person to have and take you anywhere, all he needs is you and your body and the both of y'all were all set. Currently, your pussy is now being scrubbed over the landscape of his face, eating you out like some starved man. He had you upside down, face down and buried against his own burning arousal, hands gripping the middle of the console to keep you from falling forward, knees kneading into his toned chest and your feet being thrown over his shoulders. A familiar sensation of his smooth tongue slapping itself raunchily in between your lips, licking a prolonged stripe up from your very front making it to the very middle of your ass. He sucked in his cheeks rimming around your hole carelessly sucking in your muscles with help of an eager mouth slurping back up and reusing his bubbled up saliva.

You made a screwy noise once he slapped the sensitive flesh of your ass, every pop of his mouth going straight to a throb in your dripping clit. Your stomach churned up the heat of an oncoming orgasm, subtly mouthing at his dick to lap up the stream of precum spilling from the crest of his tip. It didn’t really have a taste, but you were so intoxicated on the aroma of his expensive cologne. It mingled on the inside of your nostrils, and so did his cum that burned down in there also.

He couldn’t help but to make a variety of content noises, continuing to drink up every drop of your ejaculation against his face, feeling a mouth sucking in the heat of his veins. The clashing temperatures between her seemingly cold mouth on fire that raged throughout his cock caused the man to buck up erratically to meet her mouth for more of the gratifying effect. Zuko pushed his thumb into the taut slot settled below her bottom, planting it there inside to lick back down into her actual nub of nerves. Biting it roughly triggered your head to shoot back up from her ministrations, coughing up a loud noise of pain into the muffled interior of the car.

A lip was pulled to be bitten down in the middle of two rows of teeth, humping back on his thumb made your eyeslashes flutter rapidly, throwing your eyes to the darkness of the back of your head. Clenching so hard around the digit made you squirt violently, coating his face with your intense finish. Everything you felt in that moment mustered up altogether in a drawn out moan of desperation. This is the third time you did that tonight and your body was basically convulsing from overstimulation, legs burning and going numb from the exhaustion of your muscles working tirelessly in one position to support yourself.

Sliding your legs from straddling his head, he instructed you silently to lie down onto the slightly damp leather seats below. You watched with your lips slightly parted and mouth drying up from overuse, Zuko grabbed the specific pair of panties you had worn that evening, tearing them apart to reduce it down to one long piece of cloth to tie your ankles together with. An involuntary flinch shook up the nerves running across her body as she gazed at him tearing up her underwear.

Legs instinctively holding themselves up in the air for him, a hand of his grasping your ankles to throw the ruined pair of underwear to bind up your legs along the shape of your ankles, kissing the sides of your feet soothingly to lull your nerves. The kisses were slow and calculated, his still damp right thumb massaging one of your feet as he kissed back up to your wiggling toes. Arousal pressurized within her body just by watching Zuko reciprocating the deep stare of blatant desire, in this small intimate exchange the air shifted slightly as he pulled your legs back with the grip on your panties with the ankles within them.

“Here, keep these in your mouth for me, so you can hold your legs back.”

Zuko took a few hurried intakes of breath watching her struggle to lurch forward to bite down on the thin fabric of her undergarments. All of her hamstrings ignited in a fire of stretch bringing her legs down in the mostly uncomfortable position he guided her into, wincing in acute pain, not noticing how a hand pushed her feet back to lift up her lower half to properly angle himself up to her gaping entrance. He cursed sliding straight into nothing but tightness, he had to ground your hips to keep from jerking away from the renewed connection.

Lumps balled up amongst the canals of her throat, she braced herself for his experimental movements at the edge of her pussy. Zuko had to place his hands digging into the seat on his left side in order to back up his starting pace up into her. Sinking down into her from above, reclining on one foot that dug into the carpet interior of the humid car, the other knee profoundly rubbing into the groaning material of the leather.

Throwing his head back with a long noise of satisfaction, he dipped your thighs back further until they were flush in contact with your contracting abdomen. His thrusts had you fumbling your words and choking on your drool, deep sighs excused as hushed whines. Syllables of all sorts fell from the corner of your mouth with the small starter trail of drool seeping out from your mouth. Suctioning slaps filled up the drums of your ears, easing their way to a faster pace. Zuko was known to have such impatience but god did his impatience know how to please you.

With each and every plop downwards, he exhaled nearly laboriously as sweat condensed around his hairline. Windows began to fog up from the heat of their bodies melding together deliciously, getting more and more reckless by the second he scooted his other foot to prop himself up on the creaking seat.

“That’s right, take this dick pretty girl.”

Nothing but an array of exaggerated moans and whines filled the silence of the car, and sobs that accented his hips landing down to drill through the gummy barriers of your sex. Your breasts bouncing around lewdly created another sight for Zuko to bask in as he never let up plowing inside of her.

Surely, the car had started to rock from his pace ricocheting throughout the entirety of the situation surrounding you two.

“Fuuck me!” You snarled out despite your underwear restricting your mouth, hands flying to scratch at his forearms possibly drawing blood from your nails burrowing past the thin layer of his milky skin. A slimey mixture of your wetness and his blossoming precum combined into a bubbly, translucent blend, his aggression splashed the fluid all over the contents of the car and themselves.

He’d fuck it so voraciously you couldn’t differentiate if you were peeing or squirting actively, whatever, the only thing on your mind was telling him how good his dick is. How his dick is the only one ever meant for you, each time you reassure that what he was doing was perfect, his length would hammer in your walls so good as physically possible. Zuko reached through your open legs to push downward on your throat to let him stand up a little more on his feet to beat down in your soaking wet pussy.

Instantly, the makeshift bound flew from your mouth as you screamed his name like a thousand times over, gritty noises of wailing cries from your soul itself as you tried to shove him out of you. Head slamming down on the door handle from him nailing down on your cluster of nerves just up behind your clit, you could’ve cried from the view of your juices spraying all over his gorgeous body. Your insides felt mixed around, reaching new depths you had no knowledge of being there. The swell of your stomach came from the sheer girth of his massive fucking shaft, rearranging the layout of your guts with such vigor.

“So fuuucking wet, so fucking- good. Cum on it f’me doll.”

His dick’s print bulging out on the inside of your stomach caused your vision to churn, unrhythmic moans in obscene noises displaced from his plunges forward. Zuko sped up impossibly faster, spanking down the underside of your ass with his pelvis viciously. It’s obvious there were some bright red mark down there, you’re now at the peak of your overstimulation twitching and jerking your body around the sticky leather from your sweat and never ending fluids. The jerks came in sprodiac groups, legs shaking violently in the air from sheer muscle exhaustion.

Deciding that you were literally at the crest of passing out, you rapidly tapped on the seat beside you to signal to Zuko that you were trying to tap out this round. Before you could even sit upright to remove yourself from him with slight movements, he hooked your legs with the aid of his powerful arms to pin you down altogether with most of his body weight.

“No, don't run now, I’m not finished with you yet.”

Oh if only you could even grasp at how pitiful of a wail that was punched out from you was, you were genuinely burning from a plethora of emotions, sensations, thoughts, words. It was crazy how he had you at his mercy and his will, if heat wasn’t already there it definitely came to wash in another wave over you. It all felt absolutely amazing on the precipice of an orgasm so great you’d think you died and went to heaven for the first time.

The blood that circulated throughout your veins ran freezing cold, eyes shooting open with your pupils narrowed and thin, back arching up into something practically inhumane. Your body spasmed out vehemently, yet nothing fell from your mouth, just silence for the moment of your climax. And so you officially collapsed back down onto the backseat, limbs all going into a limp jelly feel.

She continued to loudly moan, regardless of her finish, Zuko still hasn’t had his own fill yet. He rutted into her body to fuck her deeper against the material of the seats, thrusts growing reckless and overwhelming in pure force. The pure white ring of her finish accumulated around the base of his cock as he drove it a good inch further every single time he rocked back inside. Their combined fluids grew sticky from Zuko churning them into a disgruntled pulp, the micro-strings of ot all sticking to their bodies, mixing with sweat.

It wasn’t long until after a few more strokes that he came wholly, pressing down on your stomach to cave in his cum in the depths of your womb. Zuko groaned rather quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. The couple’s noises of gratification in sync as she squirted another few times.

Your eyes glittered as you checked out the state of the car in all of its glory, the windows were well fogged over, clothes thrown anywhere haphazardly, and the seat was completely covered in a puddle. The way your entire body quaked rapidly as he withdrew with a loud suction noise, a quiet chuckle came from above you, gaining your attention as he reached for his phone left in the driver’s seat.

“You mind?” Zuko said with a gentle, tired smile. You returned the warm visage, flipping over on your stomach to arch your lower half up in front of him. The flash flickered on illuminating the internal dark aesthetics of the Bentley they were currently in, preparing themselves for another senseless round. His essence leaked down the innermost parts of your thigh as he positioned himself up at your entrance, grabbing a handful of your ass.

────bloopers

“You owe me a shit ton of Chick fil a for what you just put me through.”

“Why not Wendy’s? It’s ch-“

“Don’t play with me Zuko.”

[genderqueerdykes]

one of my neighbor's children rang my doorbell and said they were locked out and asked to use my phone or if i could make a call for them. i let them make 2 calls and asked if they needed water or to send a text. they said no and politely excused themself and wished me well. they had food on them which was the only relieving thing i saw. their clothes were extremely dirty. their hair was very disheveled.

ive seen this poor kid before. they're always barefoot and wearing dirty clothes. they had a very vacant look in their eyes when speaking to me. very quiet, shy. seemed very anxious, they were a teenager so me being an adult was likely unnerving for them. i've heard their family situation. it's not good. their mother is always raising her voice at them. this kid usually leaves to escape it or vent frustration it would seem

i'll keep an eye out for them because its a bit jarring to see someone else with very clear signs of your own trauma exhibit them in real time. they seem reserved and polite. ive never heard them raise their voice in return. i am good friends with our other neighbors, who are elderly women, and a lesbian couple at the end of the street. i'll let them know and i'll see if we can at least keep this kid from wandering around barefoot in the warzone. this kid is wandering around with no shoes in the ghetto... idk what's going on at home but a kid no older than 15 - 16 doesn't deserve that, what the hell.

[hangeslefteye]

Aot but survey corps is a mafia family (Marley included)

My shitpost time has arrived :D Feel free to disagree.

Boss:Erwin,he is the the highest ranked person of the family known as the father.He values his family more than anything and wants their peace and freedom.Loyalty is everything to him.

Acting Boss:Zeke,his entire point is to look like the boss to public eye to guarentee Erwin's safety.He would have been assassinated already by now if not for his capo brother Eren's attention.

Counselor:Levi,he only and directly works for Erwin usually spies the underboss and capos in secret.Also he's the icon of the family and very greatly known although only by name.He often visits his old ghetto to make sure his friends Farlan and Isabel are alright.

Underboss:Hange,she rules the capos and takes orders only and directly from Erwin.She's known by her 'experimental' torture methods among the soldiers.Also she has an secret involvement with counselor Levi that can get her killed if noticed.Zeke seems a little too interested in that affair of hers.

Hitman:Reiner,he usually only works for Hange but Erwin can reach out to him aswell.His duty is to kill strayed capos and soldiers.On this matter he killed many of his friends and often wishes to be killed than to kill.Despite his terrible mental health he recently adopted 2 streets kids named Gabi and Falco yet they are unaware of Reiner's real job.

Capo1:Jean,rumors say he has the brightest future among all the capos because of his great leading abilities and understanding of the family.Also very close friends with Reiner but hides it from Hange.He's somehow popular among city's women aswell.

Capo2:Armin,many says he's the smartest capo of them all and Hange will leave his seat to him.On this matter everybody thinks he is rivals with Jean but in reality they are best friends since soldier days and they move up together.

Capo3:Floch,even though his leading abilities are well respected and he is loved among the soldiers he's known to cause unnecessary chaos in the city.He's a big trouble for Hange so he might end up as being Reiner's new target.

Ex-Capo:Eren,once a skilled capo,he betrayed the family and almost got killed.Some say Erwin forgave him while others say Reiner showed mercy but reality is unknown.His whereabouts are also unknown.

Soldier1:Mikasa,known for her incredible fighting skills she's actually quite famous in the city very much like Levi.Only reason she's not a capo already is because she's very individualistic.Also acklowledged by Levi,she was quite involved with Eren but she proved her loyalty by staying with the family.

Soldier2:Connie,he's rather known by his loyalty and selflessnes towards family than skills.He is heavily relied on by Armin and Jean,gets sent off to most trust required jobs.

Soldier3:Sasha,she is greatly noticed for her sharp shooting skills.Hange wants her to be an Hitman but everybody knows her sweet spot for her friends so she's likely to stay as a soldier to protect the family.

Political representor:Historia,she's a young business woman comes from a rich family.Recently she made it into city council and makes sure to bend council decisions for the family's benefit.

Guardog:Ymir,an ex soldier she is,makes sure Historia is safe and keeps the communication between Historia and the family.When needed she handles Historia's dirty work for her and only actually loyal to her, even though she knows she's closely watched by Reiner.

Associate1:Annie,she's an police officer with an everyday life but occasionally she destroys crime evidences for the family.She taught Reiner how to shoot and Eren to fight when they were all streetkids.Known by very little,she got involved with the family in the first place to make sure her favorite capo is out of police's eye.

Associate2:Pieck,she's a popular courtesan that usually seen with the upper society of the city.For enough money she can do whatever to whoever,including 'accidental' coke overdose.

Associate3:Bertholdt,sells hunting equipments in his everyday life but secretly he traffics guns and whatsoever for the family.

Associate4:Porco,he wanted to be a soldier but due to his brother's sabotage he missed the chance of being one.Nowadays he gathers 'taxes' from clubs and casinos for the family.He secretly steals large amounts of that 'tax' and causes discomfort to the owners.

Associate5:Marcel,he is a journalist that works for the city newspaper and he is responsible from family's reputation and public representation.Even though back then he was very protective of his brother nowadays they are known to be in bad terms.Rumors say they both crush over the city's most popular escort.

[shojislady]

1.CHICKEN CONUNDRUM

"wtf is he talking ab- WHAT THE FUCK???!!" screamed y/n as midoriya suddenly landed on the hood of bakugos truck, glowing from his quirk.

"HOP THE FUCK OFF MY CAR AND GET IN!!" shouted bakugo at midoriya.

"my bad my bad" midoriya started. "mr.aizawa was stalking them halls so i jumped off my balcony into tree, then the truck"

"..."

"u so damn ghetto"

"literally"

"nigga shut up and drive"

"say less"

"WAIT LEMME SIT- FUCK"

"yall are so aggy"

.*•

"you niggas have no home training. no decorum. next time i wanna go somewhere at night, im taking shoji and tokoyami." she notified the two boys, who were STILL arguing. While you guys were supposed to be patiently waiting for your food, bakugo had the bright idea to start an argument with an eight year old because they said that "endeavor tops allmight no matter what!". This causes Midoriya to join the argument, rather than stopping it as he was supposed to, because he "wasnt gon let some prepubescent gremlin disrespect allmight like that." The commotion caught the attention of the parent, who ended up yelling at both the boys. Long story short, the boys were kicked out while y/n had to wait for their food, alone.

"not our faults. kid should learn the facts." bakugo said with a shrug, taking a hand off the steering wheel to grab some fries out of the bag.

"whatever, it doesn't matter," y/n began. "we need to figure out how to get back into the dorms without mr.aizawa seeing us."

"just ask bird boy if it's safe to come in yet, and if not make it safe." replied bakugo in a somewhat bitter tone.

"and who says he's gonna help us?"

"you know he's down bad for you y/n, just text him already so i can finally fuckin eat" midoriya muttered the last part.

"fine fine whatever😒"

.*•*.•

"thank u fumikage :)"

"no problem, y/n :>"

"bro, get a ROOM. i just wanna eat man.." midoriya grumbled, bag in hand. "u guys giving eachother the googly eyes is making me SICK"

"oh shut up, you're just mad she's not making them at you, nerd." whispered bakugo, making midoriya ball up his face and walk into the girls room.

(you can get envision the room however you want, but i'll give a visual if wanted)

saying her last good nights to tokoyami, the girl entered her room after katsuki, closing the door behind her. Her dorm room wasn't dirty, she kept it fairly organized, aside from a few things on the floor and cluttered nightstand. She kept a fan, because she liked her room cold. (she'd sometimes get shoto to cool it down for her)

Grabbing her remote from her nightstand and handing it to midoriya, she sits criss-crossed on the floor and takes food out, getting ready to eat.

"im bout to fuck this food up im so hungry🤤‼️ " she exclaimed, rubbing her hands together with a big smile on her face. "wait- did we get napkins yall?"

"oh..."

...

this mf had sauce all over his fingers.

ALL OVER.

"what the hell💀"

"ykw... come with me to the kitchen so i can grab some napkins and YOU can wash yo nasty ass hands.."

"OK! damn im coming!" he huffed, getting up from his spot next to the carpet, cautious as to not get sauce on anything.

"oh yeah, can you bring me my juice, too? it should be in the VERY back of the fridge, i had to hide my shit from dunce face bighead ass because he kept drinking it even AFTER i whooped his ass."

"okay, suki. i got you" she chuckled " but next time, just put it in my fridge, the only people that go in there besides me are you two and Sato." she responded as she walked out, softly shutting the door behind her, as they began their quick trip to the kitchen.

"that chicken good as hell tho." midoriya said as he entered the kitchen behind the girl.

"i can tell."

"aww n/n," he began to pout "don't be so mean :(" he whined, putting his saucy covered fingers on the sides of her face.

"izuku midoriya. i know damn well you didn't just rub that sauce on my face."

"uhh, whoops?"

.

.

.

war has begun.

"GET YO BLACK ASS OVER HERE"

"WAIT WAIT IM SOR- OuCH"

"THIS WHAT YOU GET"

"OK DAMN MY BAD YOUNG MAN! HARD HITTIN ASS"

"bitch- wash ur hands and let's go!" she mugged at him, shortly after draggin his ass.

Turning around & bending to grab bakugos juice out of the fridge, she felt something-or someone- come up behind her.

"izuku get yo ass from behind me unless you ready for round two of this ass whoopin."

"my bad princess, it's just a whole lotta ass in the way.." he said with a slight smirk. "and only beat my ass cuz you snuck me😒"

midoriya wasn't like this all the time, he was only really himself around y/n and bakugo. Mina only ever got a sneak peak, but he doesn't trust her as much as the other two. They're the only two people that he'd completely confide in.

"ok but seriously, that chicken is good as hell y/n. I only got like 4 pieces left."

".. four.. out of 20. izuku .. baby.. it wasn't going anywhere."

"ok but still, you can't-" "deku?"

looking left from where they were going up the stairs, there was uraraka, standing outside of her dorm room in her pjs. she stared straight ahead at midoriya, eyes never lingering.

"oh, hey uraraka!" he greeted with a small smile.

"hi! its like 4am, what are you doing up so late?" she responded

"oh, i'm just hanging out with y/n and kacchan! sorry, were we too loud?"

"no you're fine, just be sure to go to bed soon, okay? we wouldn't want you to be to tired too hang out tomorrow, right?"

y/n sighed and began to walk up the stairs, uraraka didn't even acknowledge the girl. this wasn't anything new. its was as if the she pretended y/n didn't exist. what did she do for the girl to not like her? she's always been cordial with her, never rude. she didn't understand.

"princess, you alright?" midoriya asked, bringing the girl out of her thoughts, and back into the outside world.

"yeah i'm good"

"you sure? i'm here to talk yknow."

"im ok zuku, let's just hurry back before katsu gets mad over this damn juice"

taglist: @ast4rg1rl

a/n: sorry about the super long wait ! i think im going to shorten and split my next chapters, cuz this took like 4 days to write and its not even that much LOL.

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 23 - Blizzard Island Rescue

And by the randomizer list, I dub thee... Chapter Name.

...Thank you, RNG 🙄

I guess I'm making title cards for the post-game chapters now! Well, this shot came out too nice for me not to use.

(Also this post was supposed to come out several days ago but my job had other plans for me... Sorry.)

Some days after the ascension of Sky Peak Cloudy Well...

Hey, Starmie? Any reason why you're standing <2 inches in front of Aerodactyl? Let him breathe!!

Seaking for Scizor, huh? Yeah, I can see that! Both names start with an S, anyway.

The... the what.

*Imagines a 4-way intersection made of rubber bands*

Wait... *processing*

Just to be a joy kill, I'm having the same thought I did at Sky Peak... Why couldn't Ice Types handle this rescue? Or were there none around? Or did they just go "F*ck this guy in particular"?

Incredible team? Saving the world? You could almost call us... a gift from Heaven!

...I'll see myself out.

👀 Would I? Would I?? You betcha! If nothing else, I want to know what the hell an Elastic Crossroad is.

...Just kidding, I don't want to know anymore. (Gee, this looks awfully familiar.)

Thankfully, unlike Nonsensical Castle, there's not too much for me to say here. To help me construct these posts, I take notes whenever something of significance happens. And my only notes for Elastic Crossing are as follows (verbatim):

Linoone spamming Dark Void in a single room floor and having Bad Dreams 🥲

Lots of one-room floors actually... 2, 8, 9.

Good job team, we made it through relatively painlessly!

So yeah, I'll just share the few shots I have and we can move on 😃

I believe this is the Icicle Forest aesthetic? Cold and foreboding indeed.

🥺️ Oh, honey. You're not in the world you think you are (thank god).

🎩 HE WAS NUMBER ONE!! ☝️

Ngl, a room full of poisonous frogs and snakes, violent piranhas, and god-tier apes would be mortifying irl. But here, we get through without too much trouble and eventually emerge to find...

Oh... Yaaaaaay...

Dirty Province 💀 This is two steps away from being... you know what, never mind.

Crevice Cave is a gentrified village?? Or perhaps referring to a certain Danish prince.

Uh. No comment on this one. ._.

Okay, Teresa officially has the BEST IQ group ever. Coin Watcher, Wise and Quick Healer, Self Curer, Brick Tough, Deep Breather, All-Terrain Hiker... Well, I guess that one is irrelevant with her Flying type. And now Trap Buster?? Talk about a GAME-changer!

In the lowest depths of the "Ghetto"...

I'm gonna posit their shock is due to seeing a Scizor instead of a Seaking...?

But suddenly! A wild Snow Storm appeared!

Ooooo, okay, who's our Froslass?

O-O YEAH OKAY THAT WOULD BE TERRIFYING! GOOD CALL, RANDOMIZER!

Ironically(?), this happened immediately afterward:

This was before anyone made a move, so I guess Steelix has Drizzle?

LOOK AT THAT DAMAGE!! SUPER EFFECTIVE CRITICAL HIT BABEY!!!

As this image suggests... Steelix went down after only two turns of Mud Slap and Octazooka. Not so scary now, huh?

Tee-hee... See you never ❤️️

May as well click here to advance to Part 2 and give Seaking time to thaw.

[renlo]

Ooh, I got my first ever hate (or not-very-happy?) comment on a piece of work!  I was taught that a good sign that you’re getting into good trouble is when someone takes exception to what you’re doing, so this actually makes me feel... kind of proud, in a way.  

But actually do want to talk about this - why I would have benefited from seeing a black mermaid (or a black princess, or a black protagonist) as a child. 

I hated myself.  Before I even hit the awkward phase of puberty, when my mom still packed Swiss rolls and peanut butter sandwiches in my lunch bag, I hated the way I looked.  I hated how big my nose was.  How dark my skin was.  That my hair was kinky and would not hang down like a curtain.  I wanted so badly to look like my white peers.  

And the thing was, my parents never explicitly taught me that I was ugly.  My mom put pretty barrettes on the ends of my coily hair, and my dad told me that I was beautiful.  (It is worth noting, though, that they specifically gave me name that they felt was ‘non-ethnic’ so that I would not have my future resumes thrown in the trash, and I never saw my mother’s natural hair, so maybe there were messages that my parents silently - and unintentionally - taught that I never noticed.) 

But I still felt ugly.  To make it worse, my environment (outside my parents) confirmed this ugly feeling.  In kindergarten, my classmates refused to interact with me because I was ‘dirty’.  And I believed them.  I was chased away and teased, and at some point I was even shoved into the hallway in tears (by my teacher!) as my classmates laughed.  I cried and cried, and I carried the belief that I was ugly and ‘wrong’ with me for most of my life.  Goodness, I’m married to someone who thinks I’m beautiful, and I still sometimes think I’m unworthy and dirty.

But this ‘ugly’ feeling didn’t just come from my peers.  It came from what I saw - or didn’t see - on TV.  Every protagonist and hero I saw growing up was someone who looked very different from me, and the few instances I saw myself on screen, it was a stereotype or something else malicious.  I remember watching Tom and Jerry and just being so happy to see Mammy Two Shoes, unaware that she was a racist caricature.  That’s just how desperate and eager I was to see someone who looked like me with a marginally positive speaking role.  It shaped my language and my sense of self, teaching me that I needed to be proper, withdrawn, and perpetually collected so that I would never be seen as ‘ghetto’ or ‘loud’.

Representation matters. It shapes the minds of kids at a very young age, and media has the capacity to either affirm or destroy the self-concept that a child will carry with them for the rest of their life.  It certainly shaped mine.

Representation might have changed the fact that most of the black friends I grew up with carried a deep hatred of themselves (and even their families).  Representation might have shown me that I was never dirty nor ugly - I was just a little Black girl in the South.  Representation might have provided me a Princess Tiana or an Ariel that I could look at and say, ‘She’s like me!  And she’s wonderful and worthy, so I’m wonderful and worthy, too.’

I didn’t have a lot of representation like this as a child, and I am still recuperating from some of the trauma I experienced during those early years.  But I am so, so glad that it exists now.

Thank you for asking, dear Tumblr user!  I mean that genuinely.  I don’t think you anticipated an answer, but I realize I was more eager to share than expected.  You’ve given me incitive to make more black art, more black books, and more black and brown characters that other little boys and girls can grow up with <3.

[inbarfink]

List of which songs are included on each Polka under the cut

Polkas on 45: "Jocko Homo" by Devo, "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple, "Sex (I'm a …)" by Berlin, "Hey Jude" by The Beatles, "L.A. Woman" by the Doors, "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly, "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix, "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads, "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner, "Every Breath You Take" by The Police, "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by the Clash, "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by the Rolling Stones, "My Generation" by the Who

Hooked on Polkas: "Twelfth Street Rag" by Euday L. Bowman, "State of Shock" by The Jacksons and Mick Jagger, "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top, "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner, "Method of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates, "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes, "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister, "99 Luftballons" by Nena, "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins, "The Reflex" by Duran Duran, "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot, "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Polka Party!: "Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel, "Sussudio" by Phil Collins, "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy, "Say You, Say Me" by Lionel Richie, "Freeway of Love" by Aretha Franklin, "What You Need" by INXS, "Harlem Shuffle" by The Rolling Stones, "Venus" by Bananarama, "Nasty" by Janet Jackson, "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco, "Shout" by Tears for Fears, "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna

The Hot Rocks Polka: "It's Only Rock 'n Roll (But I Like It)", "Brown Sugar", "You Can't Always Get What You Want", "Honky Tonk Women", "Under My Thumb", "Ruby Tuesday", "Miss You", "Sympathy for the Devil", "Get Off of My Cloud", "Shattered", "Let's Spend the Night Together", "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - all by The Rolling Stones

Polka Your Eyes Out: "Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol, "Tom's Diner" by DNA featuring Suzanne Vega, "Love Shack" by the B-52's, "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic, "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M., "Unbelievable" by EMF, "Do Me!" by Bell Biv DeVoe, "Enter Sandman" by Metallica, "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground, "Cherry Pie" by Warrant, "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson, "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls, "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

Bohemian Polka: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

The Alternative Polka: "Loser" by Beck, "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots, "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow, "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails, "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M., "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette, "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins, "My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers, "I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters, "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden, "Basket Case" by Green Day

Polka Power!: "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger, "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa, "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys, "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth, "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys, "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba, "Ray of Light" by Madonna, "Push" by Matchbox Twenty, "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind, "The Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson, "MMMBop" by Hanson, "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground, "Closing Time" by Semisonic

Angry White Boy Polka: "Last Resort" by Papa Roach, "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down, "Get Free" by The Vines, "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives, "Fell in Love with a Girl" by The White Stripes, "Last Nite" by The Strokes, "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed, "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine, "My Way" by Limp Bizkit, "Outside" by Staind, "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock, "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D., "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Polkarama!: "Chicken Dance" by Werner Thomas, "Let's Get It Started" by Black Eyed Peas, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand, "Beverly Hills" by Weezer, "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay, "Float On" by Modest Mouse, "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz featuring De La Soul, "Don't Cha" by The Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes, "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers, "Slither" by Velvet Revolver, "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia, "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell Williams, "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna, "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx

Polka Face: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga, "Womanizer" by Britney Spears, "Right Round" by Flo Rida ft. Kesha, "Day 'n' Nite" by Kid Cudi, "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum, "Baby" by Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris, "So What" by Pink, "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry, "Fireflies" by Owl City, "Blame It" by Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain, "Replay" by Iyaz, "Down" by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne, "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris, "Tik Tok" by Kesha

NOW That's What I Call Polka!: "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People, "Best Song Ever" by One Direction, "Gangnam Style" by Psy, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen, "Scream & Shout" by will.i.am feat. Britney Spears, "Somebody That I Used to Know" by Gotye feat. Kimbra, "Timber" by Pitbull feat. Kesha, "Sexy and I Know It" by LMFAO, "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz, "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams

[sistervelvet]

From the type of blocks, folks don’t travel for it

Dirty East not shiny ‘nough, shiny ‘nough for tourists

But in her hood she found a forest

some notes on childhood and writing from my song “essence” want a nibble?

I grew up and was raised in the inner city on the lower east side of my hometown, my whole life, up until relocating to my adopted hometown of Pittsburgh. My folks didn’t move out of my childhood home until a few years ago. I used to live in an apartment building –  also in the inner city –  with my mom, my brothers, and my (step) dad. We left our cramped apartment when my mom was expecting my angel of a baby sister. It was the worst day ever for me when she broke the news. I found a one hundred dollar bill on the ground, I shit you not,  and she made me return it to the nearby office. Within the same hour she took me on a walk, that felt like it was never going to end, to our new home. I stared with confusion and asked her why we needed a house, still agitated and bruised about being forced to return the bill. A hundred dollars! She shared with me that she was expecting and we needed more space. Suddenly the baby wasn’t the baby anymore. I cried. She tried to sooth me by assuring me I’d have my own room. I sobbed harder.

My mom got a solid deal on our place that a nurse’s wage with four children on one income could afford. The previous homeowner told her he was literally fleeing the neighborhood due to how dangerous and “scary” the side of town was getting. Odd flex. He told her he was dying to get out, so he was willing to work with her.

As a total sidebar, this man used to feed hoards, drones of stray cats and let them into the house. Many walked in and out at their complete leisure. They brushed by me one by one and I gripped tightly to my mother’s leg as he gave us a tour. It took us a while to get the cats to stop coming to the front lawn or the backyard. To stop tapping on our windows. I remember it taking ages for them to realize their caretaker wasn’t coming back to feed them. My mom told my brother and I not to feed them or give attention so they would stop coming around. But we always did behind her back. I carry distinct memories watching them all swarm us in our backyard. Looking up at us in unison, a variety of sizes and colors, waiting to be pet or fed. To us it felt magical. My brother and I thought we had cat whispering powers.

Anyway, my mother’s a woman of taste. She can turn rust into gold. She had vision. She in essence bought a rusted red brick, fixer upper that needed some interior work and reworking, ignoring the preachiness of the spooked white man. She turned the inside of our home to something beautiful and memorable. Unique. Though we never had any family photos hanging up. I always say if my mother wasn’t a nurse, she’d be an interior decorator.

One year my mom made the decision to swiftly take me out of my city school after several scarring incidents. I was a charter school kid who went to school way out of the mix from where I was from. Far from my neighborhood or district. Kids I went to school with were constantly calling the east side ghetto, busted and dangerous. Dirty especially. Scary, some would say. The local news was constantly calling certain east side blocks dirty, ghetto, busted and dangerous. Run down. Crime littered. Much of this was hyperbolized, to be clear. This also is not a pity moment. I didn’t feel this way. It was home. My heart. My solace. My refuge. My forest. The place where I felt most relaxed and comfortable. These people also didn’t live there so I knew their perception was skewed. Of course, it was often alienating and isolating to download sometimes as a kid. I can’t pretend young me was never affected. It’s important to note, much of these lyrics come from the perspective of a child, not an adult. The east side’s outsider reputation didn’t negate the fact that I found many pockets of solace and my neighborhood friends reflected me. They really reflected me. Even growing up to be the weird, very goofy, passionate but sometimes very shy, alternative Black girl – obsessed with music, poetry, the arts, who still at heart just wanted to fit in. They didn’t judge me. In my neighborhood I also felt very pretty.

I’m not here to negate the things I shouldn’t have witnessed, experienced, or endured as a child either. Or to say everything was perfect, to particularly glamorize my upbringing or low income neighborhoods and households. It’s like this though: what do you really know of a place where you’re not from? Surface value, snippets, and assumptions. A part of town they were otherwise entirely unfamiliar with – tourists. 

When driving age came around, I only had like two friends from school who wanted to or even offered to take me home, pick me up, drop me off or come over to hang. Some of them blamed it on just being too far. I internalized a bit of shame and embarrassment over the years. To avoid awkward dialogue or more shame I would often lie and tell my friends my brother is coming to pick me up and walk to the nearest city bus stop, no matter how far, that wasn’t in plain sight so I could hide and no one would see me waiting. At one point I began to not even offer any friends to come hang at my spot. There came a time where my high school best friend Rach was the only person I was comfortable with in my space and who I felt free of judgment. My family treated her like a daughter too.

Back to tourists: people who aren’t from the east side but judged it. Tourists being those who only made temporary trips. Tourists being the people, strangers and ones I knew, who took pride in collectively shitting on and denouncing where I lived. The double entendre of growing up somewhere with tourist attractions – primarily a gorgeous, grand Great Lake with thirteen miles of beaches and a state park. There were many parts of the east side that weren’t deemed appealing, suitable, interesting or “shiny” enough for literal tourists to travel to and check out either.

To me, my blocks were rich in culture and shaped who I am. And culture that much of suburbia children shitted on and often later copied and cosplayed. Now, I was a kid who could typically handle my own, but I definitely got made fun of when I first transferred schools for a couple years. The FUBU, the Kangol, the Forces, the Phat Farm and Baby Phat, the air brushed Tweety Bird tees, Ecko, the acid washed and airbrushed jeans, the Guess jeans repeated logo, Rocawear  – a lot of those motherfuckers did not get it at all and they still don’t! On the low,  I was dripped as a grade school kid. I got my love of fashion and clothes from my mother. I was always down to experiment and try something new. Any time I wasn’t, I was trying to fit in like teenagers do. Them kids did get one thing out of me though –  I stopped wearing Forces.

[end-of-violence]

2024ラップ②

G.T. / Dog Out a Pup

Babyface Ray / Money On My Mind

Babyface Ray / Shy Kid

Babyface Ray / Glory

Sada Baby / Flight Back

Damedot / LIE TO MY FACE

Los / Above The Law

Peezy x Nice / Harlem

42 Dugg / Win Wit Us

YN Jay / I Ain't Done Yet

ShutupShy / Still Lit

Chief Keef / Runner

Ballout / Big Glo Flow

Lil Migo / Hello Kitty

Baby Jamo / 6 Foot Chaser

QuisActive / Order Up

Paco Panama / Ezal

HavinMotion / Vibe 2

Skino / FDM

Traphard Swagg / 2 in 2

Lil Wet feat. Wizz Havinn / Sexii Redd

Wizz Havinn / Loco

Wizz Havinn / Tunka Truck

BossMan Dlow Ft. GloRilla / Finesse (Remix)

ATM Tana / Keep Movin

Fatpocket / Live From The Trenches

C Stunna & Skrilla / Curtis Jackson

J1 & Kickkone / Squeeze

Tyte, Trigga500k / Motion

Loe Shimmy feat. Luh Tyler / Aretha Franklin

Loe Shimmy feat. Veeze / Dirty Soda Junkie

ALLBLACK / R.I.P. DRAKEO

Carns Hill ft Knucks X Youngs Teflon / COLOURS

アルバム

Chief Keef & Mike WiLL Made-It / Dirty Nachos

Chif Keef / Almighty So 2

Ballout / No Radio

Lil Flash / Did You Miss Me or You Ain't Care?

D30 / Snakes & Vultures

Junie3x / Way 2 Late

GloRilla / Ehhthang Ehhthang

Woodboy Gee / King Hawk 2

Medhane / Double or Nothing

MIKE & Tony Seltzer / Pinball

Bandgang Lonnie Bands / Antimedia

Bandgang Masoe / Wst

Drego & Beno / True Story

LOM Rudy & Allstar JR / Casino Bag

Damedot / PURPLEHARDT

Ace Cino / 5 Letterz

Payroll Giovanni / Have Money Have Heart - EP

Jugg Harden / Detroit USA

Jugg Harden / Get the Blicky 2.0

Prince Jefe / Tunnel Vision

Prince Jefe / Warwoundzz - EP

Shaudy Kash / The FABUR EP

Wtm Solid / Bigg

Wanski / Back From the Dead

Los / Last In Love

Rio Da Yung OG / Rio Circa 2020

Bfb Da Packman / Forget Me Not

Baby Money / H.I.M. (Hutsle In Me)

Trdee / The Greatest

J1hunnit / Nevermind, I'll Do It - EP

Mack Nickles / Quit While I'm Winning

World Tour Mafia / Tourmania 2

WTM Scoob / Scoob Wav

Pretty Brayah / Unstable

CoffeeBlack & WTM Scoob / Love at First Sight?

Certified Trapper / Trappernese

Yung Threat / Inlilahkitrust

Tae Dawg / Ooze World Order

Lil Gray / Gray

Skino / Youth Madness

Paco Panama / Southside Sopranos

HavinMotion / Motion

HavinMotion / Trappin In Beverly

3o$oma / Jedi Temple - EP

ST6 JodyBoof / Riding W Boof - EP

3coMMa$ / Heavy Rotation 3

KP SKYWALKA / Back To Granny's

Yung Maaly / Clutch Almighty

Situation Slim / Draggin & Havin

EBK Lulmaxx / Do It For Maxx 2

EBK BCKDOE / BlueMoney Music

EBK Lulmaxx / Product of The J - EP

GS Ash & EBK BCKDOE / 3 Doe's Down

GS Ash & SSRichh33 / 3300 Degrees

GS Ash & SSRichh33 / The Redacted Files 2

GS Ash & OsosubkaK / The Joy of Creation

KT8Deuce / Portlands Most Valuable Ghetto Juvenile

KT8Deuce / Aye N***a

adfrmysb / Forever Hate - EP

kpkeeparoll / Born a Steppa

Mozzy / CHILDREN OE THE SLUMS

J. Stalin / Me vs Me 2

Yhung T.O. / AFTER THE FAME

Yhung T.O. & Lil Sheik / Ballin Like Tutu

ALLBLACK / ROUND 1

Big Sad 1900 & MikeMadeThe808's / The Separation

Doddie Savage / Mr Blitz'em 2

Fl6ixer / Web Ya Block

キーフ2024

[beebascloset]

ranking ugly villagers by how pretty they are

Chow; 7/10. Ok he's not actually that ugly but when he opens his mouth he looks so stupid. He looks like he's trying to have a good time when he's not and I really think he should go home because there's too many people at the party

Cole; 6/10. He's very fashionable and he's got white tips on his paws or whatever bunnies have. But his mouth bothers me and I don't like that

Freckles; 6/10. I had her in my New Leaf town so there might be bias. Why are her eyes so far apart. Why is she wearing a shirt that looks like something from the old games. Why is her blush so big. I don't know, do you understand me???

Canberra; 5/10. Psychotic. Those eyes. That smile. She looks like she's about to go through menopause. I think it's her tank top that makes me think that

Boyd; 4/10. If you're gonna look like a clown you might as well put on an afro and paint your face white because holy shit

Truffles; 4/10. Just so you guys know, Truffles is a girl. If you even care

Moose; 3/10. I don't like the asymmetry of his face

Rodney; 2/10. He looks like how conservatives picture Achillean men living in their mom's basement

Al; 2/10. The gorillas do not need big lips. It's a game, they can look however they want. But this guy. I'm worried he has jaundice

Cashmere; 0/10. She ain't got a nose, she ain't got a tan, she ain't got style, she ain't dirty she ain't ghetto and she definitely ain't no kid

[dustedmagazine]

The Year the Stars Crashed: Ray Garraty’s 2023 in Rap

Peezy is writing the most disgusting rap in 2023

Let’s be honest: we can’t just have exciting years in music. The year people stepped on the Moon was more exciting than the one when they didn’t. We love to cheer when during a year we discover new talents, when we are buried under tons of great stuff which just keeps coming. But we shoegaze when our favorite musicians fall off. We tend to stay silent about it.

And in 2023 I mostly watched artists I admired go wrong. It was painful and embarrassing but also sobering. It is a price artists pay when they enter this game. They are creative and genius and entertaining until they are just not.

Mac J was hooked on the Auto-Tune, so his latest tapes were full of bad singing and not very good lines. EST Gee and Lil Yachty went even more mainstream which in political terms would mean far far right. The Alchemist did a lot of production for the artists that don’t deserve it. ShittyBoyz drifted aimlessly, and their best album this year is not even under their name (it’s Lando Bando’s Family Business). Cash Kidd is not so funny anymore (kid you not). BandGang Lonnie Bands got too caught up in his mind games.

Yet it is Peezy and Valee who had the most embarrassing fall in 2023. Which is hardly surprising for those who have followed them since day one. Valee now is a proper elevator music artist, filling his anemic songs with AI-generated lines. Peezy, top-5 worldwide just a few years ago,  is now writing the most disgusting rap music, and he even admitted that. Signs of rot were visible in both last year, so nothing really new is here.

I just kept trying to follow the ones I liked (mostly Michigan-based), and the one who grew up from a Rio Da Yung OG sidekick (and a blood brother) to a fully mature artist with his own unique style is Louie Ray. While Rio is still locked up, Louie Ray is keeping his torch. I enjoyed nothing more this year than his solo tapes, and his collabs with YN Jay. Let’s hope the next year will be better than this one.

Ray Garraty

Tapes

Cellow — Ghetto Takeover

Rio Da Yung OG — The F Tape

Louie Ray — Even Stronger/We Still Don’t Grind The Same

Rio Da Yung OG, GrindHard E, RMC Mike — Ed, Edd n Eddy

Lando Bando — Family Business

Philthy Rich — King of Oakland

Mike, Wiki & The Alchemist — Faith Is A Rock

Production

Wayne616 — Talkin Crazy (Rio Da Yung Og)

Marc Boomin — No Big Homie (Rio and RMC Mike)

The Alchemist — Scrabble Jam (MIKE and Wiki)

Kmoney — Heads (Rio, Louie Ray, RMC Mike, GrindHard E)

Sav — The Getback (Rio, RMC Mike, GrindHard E)

Danny G — Dirty Pop (Rio, StanWill)

??? — Special (Cash Kidd, OhGeesy)

Wayne616 — April 14th (Louie Ray)

[21witnokidz]

IN THE GHETTO

Chapter 11

“No but let’s talk about that lil act you put on back there at the jail. You been takin lessons from Jeffrey Stalen?”

“Yea maybe if I become a professional actor we would finally have enough money to help Dutch with whatever plans he has”

You and Arthur were hunting to find some food and so far you only caught a raccoon.

“Hey Arthur there goes a deer. Whoever kills it first has to skin it. Deal?”

“Yer on”

You took out your rifles and aimed. You hit it in its side but Arthur got its neck immediately killing it.

“Hunting rule number 1: Always aim for the neck or head” Arthur explained.

“I thought the first rule was to stay quiet and low so that they don’t notice you?”

“Less skinning and more talking”

You skinned the deer and stowed it on your horse, Cilly. You and Arthur decided it was a good idea to take its skin to armadillo and get it sold off before taking the meat back to camp.

When y’all got to armadillo you entered the general store and sold the skin for 12 dollars.

“That’s a fancy gun you got there. I’ll give you 200 dollars for it” the cashier offered.

“Nah this belonged to my daddy. I ain’t selling it for nothing”

“Ok fine. 500 dollars”

Arthur stepped up “Didn’t you hear her? She said she ain’t sellin it” he growled.

The cashier stopped bothering you and sent y’all on your way with your money. You figured you could buy some new shoes with your money since your old ones had holes in them. Having weak shoes was bad. Water could enter in easily or if they got injured it could lead to an infection. Especially with the lifestyle you lived.

When you were about to go to the clothing store you felt a little hand slip inside your pocket. You turned around quickly and found a little boy try to run off with your 12 dollars.

“You little shit get back here!”

You and Arthur chased the little boy but he was too fast. Arthur shot just near his feet, barely missing them. The boy got startled and fell to the ground. You caught up to him and grabbed him by the collar.

“Damn brat where’s your mother?”

“I ain’t got one lady just turn me a loose!”

“No wonder you’re out here like this! Look at you. You’re face is all dirty and you smell like you ain’t bathed in days”

“I just needed some shoes”

“Hell you’d be better off using that money for a bath”

You hesitated for a bit before letting him go. But before he could run off again you grabbed him by the ear.

“Come on. You probably wouldn’t know what shoes to buy even if you did use my money”

“Hold on you gonna use your money to buy him shoes? You need some yourself don’t you?” Arthur said confused.

“This is just a little kid, he needs it more than me. What even is your name boy?”

“John Marston” the boy spoke up.

“Well John I think it’s time you learn some manners. You could’ve just asked me for the money instead of tryna steal it”

“How could I trust you? All the women at the orphanage were cruel. How do I know you’re not?”

“Because I don’t work at a damn orphanage!”

You dragged the boy named John into the clothing store and bought him some brand new shoes that fit him. When he tried them on, his dirty face lightened up a little.

“Now what do you say?”

“Thank you ma’am���

“Alright let’s go already people are waiting on us” Arthur said getting impatient.

“Alright. Stay outta trouble ya hear?”

You turned back and headed outside for your horses. When you approached the hitching area you felt a little hand tug at your clothes. It was John again.

“You uhh.. you got a place?”

“Yea but it ain’t for you so scram” Arthur said shooing him.

“Oh come on Arthur. I’m sure Hosea wouldn’t mind bringing another kid”

“Yea but Dutch would. Hell we got enough people to feed as is”

“I ain’t gonna cause no trouble. I’ll help out”

“What can you do?”

“You can just teach me whatever. Like how to use a gun and ride a horse. I’ve always wanted to be a gunslinger”

“This life ain’t easy kid. Go back to yer orphanage and stay there”

“What makes you think life at the orphanage was any easier? I don’t care what I gotta do just let me be in your gang”

Arthur sighed and held out his hand for John to grab onto and helped him onto his horse.

“Well kid one things for sure. I’m gonna have to teach you how to pickpocket better. If you go around using that technique you tried to use with me you’ll surely run into a much meaner person” you explained to the young boy.

You and Arthur rode back to camp with your game and John on the back. When you got off you presented your contributions.

“Well everyone we got deer, raccoon, and a little pickpocketing brat we can cook too” Arthur explained. John looked stunned. “Oh didn’t we tell ya? We’re a group of cannibals” John screamed trying to run away but Arthur caught him too fast.

Annabelle stepped out of her tent. “Well what do we have here? Who’s this little boy?”

“His name is John Marston and Arthur thought it was a good idea to try and scare him by making him think we’re cannibals”

“Now why would you go and do that? Arthur let him go” Arthur let him go and John backed away from him. “It’s ok John, Arthur here was just tryna spook ya. I swear we’re good people. You must be an orphan huh?” Annabelle tried to calm him.

“Yes” John answered still a little spooked.

“My name is Annabelle and this is Bessie. I see you already met Arthur and y/n.”

“Yes. She bought me a new pair of shoes”

“See? What cannibal would do that? You come here and we’ll get you washed up and something to eat”

“No! I ain’t taking a bath!”

“See Annabelle we can’t keep him here! He’ll give us tuberculosis or something” Arthur exclaimed.

“Oh hush up. I heard you was the same way when you joined the gang so I don’t wanna hear it!”

You snickered to yourself and it shut Arthur up.

Annabelle lead John to the table and Bessie got him something to eat.

-

John met the rest of the gang and settled in quickly. Dutch suggested he sleep with you and Arthur until he got his own tent.

“Ok John here are the rules. This bedroll is only big enough for two people so you’re just gonna have to squeeze yourself in there. We used to have a cot but it got lost in a fire. I’m not pointing any fingers but just know that it was caused by a certain cowboy with brown hair and blue eyes. With a black hat with a string tied around it to be more specific” you said glaring directly at Arthur. He just flipped you off.

You all squeezed yourself into the bedroll and layed there uncomfortably. It was John on the left, Arthur on the right, and you in the middle

“Stop hogging all the sheets you guys” John said.

“You’re just a kid you’ll be alright” Arthur objected.

“But you got more meat on you. You can heat yourself up better”

“Too bad. You’re the one who wanted to come with us so stop complaining”

….

“Oh my god who farted?!”

“Wasn’t me” John and Arthur said simultaneously.

“Well it was one of you”

“Maybe it was you and you were just tryna cover it up” John said

“I don’t care who did it just fess up”

“If you don’t care who did it why don’t you just leave the tent and sleep outside? You’re the only one complaining”

“Because I don’t wanna sleep out there it’s cold as hell”

“God it smells like beans”

“Did you eat beans today John?”

“No… y/n?”

“What?”

“Arthur has been really quiet”

“So you were just gonna sit there and say nothing?”

“I thought you and John were gonna fight about it until one of you left the tent and the problem would be fixed” Arthur shrugged his shoulders.

“Well this his how we fix the problem” you pushed Arthur out.

“You think I’m just gonna sleep out here in the late autumn? You can’t do me like this y/n”

“Make a fire or something. Remember when I first joined and I had to sleep in your tent while you slept outside with no complaints?”

“That was a long ass time ago. Besides I’m more civilized now”

You just zipped the tent back up as aggressively as you could to resemble a door shutting in his face.

“Y/n! Y/n! Please it’s cold and dark out here! Oh fuck this I’m just gonna sleep in the wagon”

[nnothingnesss]

Secrets (Short Story)

Jim and his daughter help a lost boy find his way to his father after his Mother abruptly kicks him out and mysteriously disappears.

tw: violent themes, disrespectful language

"So that's it?"

"I guess it is, ain't it."

"Thanks for your help Jim, some muscles you got there."

"Yeah, no problem."

The client pulls out a few hundred bills and folds them into Jim's hands. "A tip for the trouble."

The client sits on a tired green recliner in front of the house. The outside is messy, trash litters the yard and sidewalks as an accessory to the home, like fake jewelry dangling from an earlobe. The fence's wire turn in every direction and the rusting handle hangs a breaths hair from death off of a wobbly screw. Couldn't even use it to keep the gate shut if you tried. A pickup truck full of furniture and other shit filled the bed sat in the broken driveway. The client, an older rough-hewn face with little to no hair and all of it white, plays with a small four inch pocket knife using it to cut the fabric of the armrest. The sun slowly sets as the last bit of daylight disappears over the horizon of this ghetto neighborhood.

"See ya," the client says.

"Give me back my damn knife Ben."

"Heh, yeah I guess it is yours huh," Jim grabs it from his hands. "Just so damn fun."

"Sure."

"What?" Silence. "Whaddya want? I paid ya already right? Hell you standing there for then?"

"Guess I just wanted to know."

"Know what? Don't tell me you give a damn what I do?"

"I don't." Jim spits on the floor. "Just wanna know what you plan on doin', packin' all your shit like this."

"You gonna stop me?"

"It's a small world to be concerned with what the hell you're up to."

"Heh, yeah I guess so. Shouldn't be surprised coming from you."

"I wouldn't be."

"Well, I might be leaving soon. If she don't get the hell out ain't no tellin' what I'll do."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"You shouldn't be. Now get the hell outta here."

"Sure."

A cardboard box of pizza sits on a wooden table. The room is cold and creaky, small with a ugly bed and a dirty stove. An old silver kettle bellowing smoke sits above hot blue fire. It's steaming water now fills the air. You can hear kids outside hollering and playing, the door is so damn thin and flimsy. All it would take is a small kick to send it swinging open but then you'd have to deal with the sawed-off shotgun that lived under the mattress. Jim sits, leg's spread wide, on a sofa pressed against the corner of the room.

As he gets up to turn off the gas of the stove the shouting outside get's louder and louder, a female's voice becomes discernible from the children's laughter. The minute her voice meets Jim's ears he walks up to and presses the side of his face against the fragile door to hear why the kid's won't shut up. Once his attention is focused entirely on the other side he hear's a pair of footsteps press the creaking floorboards of the porch before the door swings open right in his face. A girl. And a boy.

"Hey,"

"Hey," the pair walks in, the girl before the boy. "Come in, it's okay."

"Sorry for intruding,"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Dad, relax, I can explain"

"Well you better start fucking explaining what the hell this boy is doing in my house hugging my daughter."

"It's not like that"

"Then what the hell is it like Ana?"

"He got lost, shit dad, will you calm the fuck down."

"Don't tell me to calm down."

"He was wandering the woods like a lost puppy. He's not here to stay, he just needs a place to lay his head."

"This look like a pound to you?"

"It might as well be," Ana looks around the decrepit room. "He'll be gone by the morning."

"The morning?" Jim stares the boy down. "You must be out of your damn mind."

"She said it'd be okay with you but I can go,"

"No, stay." Ana interrupts. "Dad. Come on. You act like you never been on the other side of a situation like this before. Just one night."

Jim looks at Ana and the tension in his body slowly dissipates. He walks away to grab a paper cup from the cabinet under the sink and pours boiling hot water into them. Two small tea bags float in each of the two cups, a third is put into the last one and engulfed by scalding hot water.

"Want some pizza?"

"Sure."

"Thank you dad."

The pair sits on the mattress, the crinkling of paper stuffing a byproduct of their weight. Jim sets all the cups at the table and turns the pizza towards the boy and gruffly sits in a wooden chair.

"What the hell you doin' wandering the woods late at night boy?"

"I got kicked out."

"Been doin' drugs? Hittin' women?"

"He's not like that," Ana's biting into her pizza. "His mom said he had to leave."

"Oh so he told you everything huh?"

"Dad."

"She's right. My mom said I had to go, she didn't tell me why. Next thing I know she told me head north. Gave me this piece of paper with my dad's address and number on it but that's about it. I have no idea what's going on."

"It's okay, you can sleep here tonight then we'll help you get to his house."

"Ana. You said he'd be staying the night. That's it."

"Fine, we'll find someone to get you there tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Yeah."

Jim takes another bite of his pizza and sips his tea, steam still leaving the cup. It hardly had any time to rest.

"Well you'll sleep on the floor. Don't got much but a single set of blankets. You can have them."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"Yeah. I been there. It ain't easy."

"So how'd work go? Make any good money?"

"Not really. Helped Ben move his shit out his house. Guess he's leaving."

"That's good for him I guess. Wonder where he's going."

"I could care less."

"If it wasn't for him we wouldn't be making money though."

"So what?"

"Nothing," Ana swats a fly on her neck. It's remains spread in her palm.

"And you?"

"Other than him, I've got nothing."

"Told you, might as well stick to begging."

"I can't stand those motherfuckers."

"Bring a knife."

"They stole it."

"Bring a gun."

"You can't seriously expect me to kill 'em."

"A hole in the arm'll do the trick. Ain't gotta kill 'em. Hell's wrong with you boy? Look scared half to death."

"Nothings wrong."

"Never heard a man talk to his daughter bout killin' a tweaker?"

"Never."

"Heh. Good. Hope you ain't gotta again either."

"He's nothin' like us. He was in that house in the woods, tinkering with toys and the like."

"Tinkering?"

"Yeah, I did engineering. Like software."

"I know the hell engineering is."

"He doesn't mean building shit, he means the computer."

"The hell's the difference?"

"What you're thinking is more like hardware. This is more like software."

"Huh?"

"Jesus, dad."

"It's nothing really."

"Sounds like you'd be a rich sonuva bitch if you weren't living in the slums."

"It's where my mom said she wanted to raise me."

"Weird mother,"

"Dad."

"It's okay. He's not wrong. She was paranoid."

"Hell's her problem?"

The boy stares at the floor, completely enthralled by the concrete. A floodgate in his mind has opened, you could see it in the distance he put between himself and the room. A silence clings to the air that leaves Jim and Ana nerve-wracked, clearly giving them the impression they're treading into some very sensitive territory.

Instead of asking again Jim looks away from the boy and folds the last pizza into his mouth. The buzzing and chirping of insects fills the barren walls of the small room, a slum-like haven compared to the messy outdoors of the ghetto. You can hear cars zooming by and the shouting of various individuals from the night invade the space.

"So what's your name boy? Can't expect us to keep calling you boy forever. And you ain't even drink your tea. We ain't got money to be wastin'."

"Oh, my bad." The boy snaps out of his daze. "My name is Eugene."

"Call me Jim. She's Ana. My daughter. If she ain't tell you already."

"You okay Eugene? Lost you for a bit there."

"Yeah, it's fine. I just... I don't know."

"Don't know what 'Gene? Bein weird as hell son."

"Heh," he scratches the back of his head, almost ripping out his black hair. "I just get this really weird feeling she's not okay. It's been like that for a long time. Like she's been running or hiding her whole life but she wouldn't tell me anything. It's weird. She never told me anything about what happened before we started living there."

"The hell she kick you out for really son?"

"I'm telling you, I really don't know." Eugene pulls the paper she gave him out of his pocket and hands it to Ana. "Do you have any idea where I could find this address?"

"Hm...24335... that's northside isn't it? The other side of the city. That's pretty far actually."

"No shit huh. She sendin' you far from here for damn sure."

"I never really left this neighborhood for anything but a walk to the grocery store."

"You and me both." Ana hands the note to Jim.

"That's a pretty damn far trek to make without no ride. Sorry but I can't help ya with that."

"It's okay."

"You don't think Ben could help him dad?"

"That crazy motherfucker wouldn't help a dying infant on the side of the road."

"What if I asked?"

"Ana, I'll tell you this once. You ain't goin' round that man."

"Hell did he do?"

"More in this lifetime than either of us. Look, it's gettin' late." Jim closes the pizza box and throws it on the floor in front of the door. "Let's just figure this shit out tomorrow. I'm tired. You can have the blankets Eugene. I'm sleeping on the couch. Ana always gets the bed."

"He can sleep on the bed, I'll sleep on the floor I don't mind."

"Ana, you heard me right? It's your bed. Sleep in it."

"It's fine thank you Ana. Thank you Jim for letting me sleep here."

"Sure. Just don't be snorin' n' shit. I'm a light sleeper."

As the lights go off and the trio goes to sleep Jim's eyes never close. The whites of his eyeballs can be seen clear as day in the dark, as though memories were playing on an internal projector that created afterimages in the liquid that kept his eyes wet. Soon you can hear Eugene begin snoring, Ana shuffling in the bed not able to get much sleep. It wasn't new for them, not getting much sleep. This neighborhood does something to you. It was full of people who held secrets and all kinds of problems. In the rustling dark you can hear Jim wrestle the couch for comfort before closing his eyes.

It's the early morning and the sun barely made an appearance. It's a dim blue that fills the sky like water in a bottle, it's ball of white hot fire coming over the horizon at her own pace. Ana's eyes are still wide open, she wasn't able to get much sleep at all. Jim got in a few hours and Eugene was still snoring like a baby. At the first sign of daybreak Ana began making some coffee from the last of their stash. Only two and a half cups. She left the full two for Jim and Eugene and sat at the table, her legs crossed.

"No sleep huh?"

"Yeah." Ana sips the last of her coffee.

"Might be sleepin' pretty damn good tonight then."

"I hope so. Two nights in a row makes me feel high."

"You can use the sleeping pills girl. Don't need 'em."

"It's okay. Those were for you."

"Don't know the hell happened last night but I managed to close my eyes. Just an hour or two. So use 'em."

"I might. Still up pretty early. Goin' already?"

"Yeah. I'ma talk to Ben 'bout gettin' that boy a damn ride."

"You gotta admit, you kinda like 'im don't you?"

"Shut up girl."

Jim pours some of his coffee into Ana's empty cup. He changes his clothes, though none of them are actually clean. He uses a old and musty razor to trim his disheveled beard, he let it grow a little too much and put off shaving it because he didn't want to waste anymore shaving cream then he had to. After he washed his armpits with a wet and dirty rag he applied woman's deodorant into his hairy underarms and picked his hair off of it before putting the cap back on.

"Save some for me too, damn."

"I ain't eatin it, shit."

"With those fucked up teeth I wouldn't be surprised."

"Too damn early for your shit little fish." They share a smile.

Jim walks the cracked sidewalk making his way back to Ben's house. He knew Ben was preparing to leave today and it'd be a hell of a trick to convince him to carry a stranger in his car all the way to northside. Already packed full of shit, doesn't need one more thing to add to the load. And Ben was one weird motherfucker too. Everyone here managed to get along, by some miracle, but the way they survive is by staying their nose out of each other's business. Nobody needs to know what happens in the late hours to early mornings. It's better that way.

"Ben, open the damn door bud." Jim pounds Ben's door, his truck still fully loaded in the driveway. Through the screen door, an angry man peers through with a pistol in his hand.

"Goddammit Ben, I ain't one of these fuckin' squatters. Come out here so we can talk."

"Hell you want? Tell me."

"Not even gonna let me in?"

"Hell no. Hell you want Jim?"

"I got a favor to ask."

The door shuts immediately.

"Ben fuck's wrong with you?" Jim begins banging the door loudly, tearing parts of the screen door. It opens one more time and Jim comes out with the gun pointed at Jim's face.

"Get the fuck off my lawn."

"Get that shit out of my face. I got a favor to ask, ain't you hear me you psycho?"

"Fuck you want? Don't make me ask again." He lowers his gun.

"Hell got you on edge? Actin' like one of these motherfuckin' tweakers right now."

"Yeah, whatever. Stop wastin' my time actin' like we best buds."

"I got a boy at my house, needs a ride."

"And?"

"Who else you think I know with a car?"

"Go hitch a ride or some shit, I'm busy."

"Looks like you just holed up in your house. If you wanted to you could've left by now."

"Why do you care whether I stay or go?"

"Because I know you ain't finished."

"Hm. Where's he goin?"

"Up north, outside of the city. Give him a ride will ya?"

"You payin' me?"

"By not tellin no one."

"Fuckin' bastard."

"Look out for me, I'll look out for you."

"It's not like you helpin' me with this shit."

"I ain't. Crazy motherfucker."

"You wanna come in?"

"Not really."

"Smart boy."

"We got a deal?"

"Sure. Fine, whatever."

"Good. Still got blood on your shoes messy fuck."

"Fuck off."

"So I guess it ain't go how you thought?"

"Hell no."

"Dammit man. Where she at now?"

"In the woods."

"You dug a grave?"

"I look like I give a fuck she get's a proper ceremony? No man, I just dumped the bitch."

"Just don't do any psycho shit to the kid you got me? I'll kill you myself. My daughter likes the boy."

"I don't give a damn."

"You better. I ain't like these princess motherfucker's on the street."

"Yeah, alright."

"Better be fuckin' alright."

Ben goes back into his house and through the torn screen Jim notices a ashtray full of cigarettes stuffed sardines style by the entry. A couple bottles of whiskey litter the empty floor, some liquid pouring almost out the door. It looks like Ben had been staking out at the front door as if watching for anyone who might come up to his house. Jim's no stranger to the ugly side of life, the situations that would shake a normal man's sanity to bits. But he knew this was a bad sign and probably a worse idea to ask him. There was nobody else though and even though he liked Eugene, he needed him gone. There was nobody else to ask.

As Jim is walking back to his room, a squat in an abandoned house, he notices Eugene and Ana smoking on the back porch. He walks in through the front not bothering them and through the thin paper walls he can hear them having a conversation. It sounds pretty intense so he leans by the boarded window and eavesdrops for a while before telling them he managed to get Ben to take him up north. He knew Ben planned on leaving and squatting somewhere far, far away from here anyway.

"You sure?" Ana asks.

"Yeah. I just need to see if she's okay."

"I mean, she had to have a reason to kick ya out. Be weird if she didn't."

"That's why I have to check on her. You don't have to come. I can find a way up there myself."

"Dad went to go ask one of his friends to give you a ride. Wait 'til he comes back."

"You sure? No offense but your dad seems like a wild guy."

"He can be, sometimes. You grow up in a house full of addicts, hard to be normal."

"You okay?"

"You seriously takin' me for a prim bitch right now Eugene? Far from it."

"Yeah, sorry for asking."

"Shut up," Ana punches his shoulder. It leaves a tingling sensation in his arm.

"You don't have to come. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"My dad doesn't control me, besides trouble is all we've known. Who gives a damn?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I swear, you need a backbone at some point Eugene. Can't live away from mom like that."

"Yeah." Eugene stands up. "I need to check on her. I'm so fuckin' worried."

"Go." Ana throws her cig. "I'll wait here for dad. Hope he's got some good news."

"Yeah. I won't be long."

As they both stand up to leave Jim peels back the wooden board covering the window.

"Hell you said 'bout me boy?"

"Dad, shut up."

"Ben said he'll take ya. Don't worry 'bout me. I ain't crazy like him."

"You heard all of that? I didn't me-"

"Yeah but I don't give a fuck. You ain't hurtin' us with some flimsy words."

"Sorry, I just-"

"I don't give a fuck. It's good son. Just go check on your mom 'fore you leave. Hurry the hell up."

He nods and leaves to go back into the house in the woods. That feeling of worry consumed his dreams last night and he can't help but get a terrible feeling something happened to her. After hearing their conversation Jim began to get a similar feeling. A weird, disgusting, terrible feeling.

"The boy alright? Sounded like he losin' his marbles."

"I guess that's just how it goes around here, ain't it."

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"How'd it go? Had to pay him or what?"

"Nah. He's a understanding man."

"Might be for you."

"You ain't wrong princess. Let me get one."

"Here," Ana hands him a cig and lights it for him.

"Ben's gonna come around and pick the boy up. You gonna miss 'im?"

"No. Maybe."

"Ain't seen a soul like his 'round these parts in a long time. Got you all hot n' bothered?"

"Dad, the hell is wrong with you?"

"I know I ain't much of a father all the time but I ain't never seen you look at a boy like that in my life."

"Yeah, whatever. It's not like I love the kid."

"The kid probably older than you."

"In age, yeah."

"But you gotta admit. Hard to hate a innocent soul like that when he in a nest of crazy."

"I guess. Hard to find a real gentleman around here."

"Hard to find gentle 'round here girl." He blows a thick cloud of smoke. "So, gonna go with 'im?"

"If you don't stop teasing me I'll shove that cig in your esophagus."

"Be gentle with me darling."

"You're in a good mood ain't ya?"

"I'm happy for you."

"Whatever."

As time passes by, Jim lights cigarette after cigarette. Police sirens can be heard from the other side of the neighborhood, a rare sight. Usually cars only come through the neighborhood but police car after police car came and parked. Soon forensic vans came and ambulances. It was quite the sight. The sirens never went off, which is surprising. Didn't they know this wasn't the place for normal people?

Half the day goes by before Eugene returns. Ana was finally getting some sleep and Jim was busy killing her pack of cigarettes on the front porch now. The sirens finally died out and it was back to the normal going on's, constant burning of cigs. Only a few left before Eugene walked up the steps. His face looked like he had seen a ghost. That disturbing, oddly terrifying feeling clung to his air worse than the cancer comforting Jim's lungs.

"Hell's up with you 'Gene? Look like you seen a ghost."

"Is Ana inside?"

"Sure. Go wake her."

"Thanks."

"You good?"

"Yeah."

"Don't seem like it."

"I am."

"Hm. Sure, whatever. Go in."

"Thanks."

He opens the flimsy door and wakes her. Some time passes before Ana comes out. The siren's of earlier disappeared a while ago before Eugene came back. Now the song of concrete nature fills the air. Cars, passerby's laughter, the occasional stray cat that carefully watches Jim on the porch. Groups of homeless huddled up harassing any tourist walking pass on the gritty sidewalks. Someone like you or me, they'd probably harass horribly.

"Hey dad. Ben ready?"

"Yeah. I'll grab him. Hell's wrong with your boy?"

"I don't know. He's bein' weird. He wants to leave, like, now. I can tell."

"Yeah, I'll bet. Ain't even tell you how his mom was?"

"I asked."

"And?"

"He's just sitting in there, eyes glued to the wall."

"Somethin' ain't right."

"Yeah. It's bad. He's in a daze. Somethin' happened."

"Hell. Fuck's the world gone to?"

Jim walks down the road, a ten to fifteen minute walk to Ben's. Ana sits with Eugene making sure he's okay. Soon Jim arrives out front the abandoned house in Ben's pick up truck, the stereo blasting loud metal music. His car gave a horrible odor, the AC was broken and the floor filled with trash. Alcohol, porno magazines, random bullets. The passenger door has a unique creak to it that's characteristic of Ben. Slightly messed up. Jim slams the door lacking manners and hobbles to the porch to wish Eugene farewell.

Eugene was still in his daze. He seemed worried before he checked on his mom but now he's blank. It was confusing. Ana and Jim began to take a liking to him. They didn't know him but they knew well enough that something happened in the woods and even if neither of them would admit it, the feeling was unsettling. They knew Eugene saw something but what he'd seen exactly, nobody knows. He said everything was fine. He said everything was okay. So they took his word. They knew his soul wasn't the kind that belonged in a place like this. It left them with a feeling they normally never feel in their day to day life. Compassion.

"Sure you'll be alright 'Gene?"

"Yeah."

"If you need anything you can come back."

"Ana, the hell'd I say? This was all we're doing for the boy."

"Oh you know if he'd come back you'd do the same damn thing."

"Sure."

"Will y'all hurry the fuck up? I'm trying to leave." Ben angrily slams his dashboard with his hand, a cigar burning in his mouth.

"Relax your panties Ben, he's coming. Take care up north son. Watch out for that crazy motherfucker."

"Thanks."

"Bring this with you. Never know." Jim hand's him a four inch blade, the one Ben had been playing with.

"Take care Eugene." Ana hugs him. His arms stay by his side, gripping the knife.

And with that, they drive off into the setting sun. The night came and it was a quiet one, far more quiet than usual. No sirens, no kids, no cars. Just the flies and moths drawn to the lanterns of the shady street lamps that stood on their last legs.

"Sorry I smoked all your cigs hun."

"It's okay. Kinda figured you would. Thanks for helping him dad."

"Yeah, sure. It's not easy bein yall's age 'round here."

"I'm just worried."

"I'm sure he'll figure it out."

"I'm hopin'. Want the last cig?"

"Sure."

"Here," Ana puts one in between her dry lips and gives Jim her last. They share the light together.

"You miss 'im huh? You want him to come back."

"Not like that, hell no. It'd be weird."

"Weird? Thought you liked the boy?"

"Close your hole old man."

"I'm not yankin' you right now girl. Thought it'd be all kisses and sunshine n' shit when he left."

"Yeah. I guess we don't get a ending like that."

"Heh. True."

"I wonder what he saw in the woods. If his mother's okay."

"Couldn't tell." Jim takes a strong drag of his cig and plucks the ash onto the porch. "I wonder."

Jim had an idea of what happened. But he didn't really wanna think about it. Ana really liked Eugene. She was so worried. The police found the woman's body in the woods, just thrown against a tree like garbage. She was filled with bullets that hated her. That was the fate of too many around this place.

The only thought Jim had coursing in the veins of his grey matter was hope. Hope that the woman wasn't the boy's mother. Eugene said he was fine. But there's no telling what was inside his head. For the sake of Eugene finding a better life, the sake of Ana's sanity, Jim had hoped Ben didn't kill her and drive off with her son. He had hoped the police came to deal with a noise complaint. That's what he hoped for anyway.

[maddie-grove]

"Love's The Only House" is when I gave up on Martina McBride ("God Fearin' Women" not withstanding)

I remember being impressed with the chorus as a kid after hearing it in the car one time, but, when I went back and found it as an adult, I was astounded by...well, a lot of things, but chiefly the base disorganization. Like, let's break this down:

Martina sees a woman taking more items than are allowed into the express lane at the grocery store. (In the video, it seems like Martina is a clerk at the grocery store, but the lyrics make her sound like a fellow customer.) Martina scolds her that "don't you know that more is less," which seems besides the point. The woman brings up a whole different point by explaining that she feels overwhelmed and hates her life.

Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world! Love's the only house big enough for all the pain!

Martina runs into her ex-boyfriend and explains that she's married with a four-year-old girl now, and that he only wants what he can't have (her). Like, she hasn't seen this guy for at least five or six years, right? If this is news to him?

Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world! Love's the only house big enough for all the pain!

Martina reminds us that, "three miles from all this prosperity, you go across the river, and you see a ghetto there." Apparently this is a song about social issues, and presumably the incident at the grocery store illustrated some point about how life is too fast-paced. Still not sure what was going on with Martina's ex, though. Anyway, after giving us directions to the ghetto (in Nashville, I assume?), Martina informs us that "we've got children walking around with drugs and knives and pain to spare." I bet they are also stabbing each other with knives and forks, and calling each other names like "dork." Martina reflects that she has a "clean white shirt" (a nod to the weird racial politics of the song? Or merely an observation that these kids lack access to good dry cleaners?) as well as money, shelter, and fuel. These teenagers, she says, are "walking around in a culture of darkness." Judging by the metal detectors in the video and the 1999 release date, I think this is supposed to be about Columbine, but, again, there is some loaded dark/light imagery here.

Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world! Love's the only house big enough for all the pain!

There is a bridge (in which Martina is, fittingly enough, standing on a bridge in the music video). She vows to "get her hands dirty and make a stand." Not to be all "how dare you say we piss on the poor" about this, but, um. This does sound condescending re: the hygiene of the people she wants to help.

Martina is now in a parking lot, with a band playing out of tune and (I think) singing apocalyptic lyrics. Or maybe Martina is just having a little Taxi Driver monologue in her head. Presumably in the same parking lot, there is a pregnant "senorita" whose "Don Juan" has left her, due to his lack of role models. This does not seem terribly sensitive, and, also, did the writers of this song think Don Juan was Latino? The girl is now in the grocery store and wants to buy a carton of milk, but is too poor. Martina offers to buy it for her (she's in the grocery store, too, again) and also tells her to "come on down to my house" (literally or metaphorically?).

OH-WHOA!!! Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world! Love's the only house big enough for all the pain!

Like, I remember when that Taylor Swift song came out, and it was 33% about how homophobia is bad, but 67% about how people saying stupid shit about Taylor Swift specifically is bad, and it was a mess. And that is a masterpiece of coherence compared to "Love's the Only House."

[guilhermeeazy]

Filhos de GR aka Kleaf Boyz aka Asesinos de Emcees aka Dirty Ghetto Kids

[celefrfr]

im black too u monkey like actually kys u dirty nig we dont fw u... clogging up tags and for what

tw:slurs, sh mention 💥

THE black representative, decided that yall dont fw me, whos we? Im literally new on tumblr, i didnt even know ab the "clogging" tags,(which i stopped doing) and nigga, why in the shit are you telling me to kms , like go get a job or do whatever you dirty, nasty, smelly ass, old ass, raggedy ass pussies do, because you should be thinking about actual shit and not a kid "clogging" tags to then tell her to khs like, bitch ass come with your actual blog, youre prob the whitest bitch in the world just lying and trying to sound ghetto, the world would be better if fags like you decided to get a knife, slit their wrists, then let the blood flow down until they get an infection or an hemorrhages >^•^<