#dissertation transcription

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[librarycards]

ok, has anyone / when was the first time you learned about "disability pronouns" (if ever?) this is becoming more common in the circles i run in, and basically means the preferred terminology (disabled, crip, Mad, ND, autistic, mentally disabled, chronically ill...) you use when it comes to your bodymind. weird to me that they're not called disability adjectives but okay. anyway, has anyone else heard of these??

[namchyoon]

how to motivate anna:

ANNA IF YOU FINISH ALL YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES WE WILL WATCH GOSE

😭😭😭😭😭 well i did finally call my employer that i was putting off for over a week (idek why bro he's really nice....) and managed to reply to my advisor so all i can do is wait for the call back (and uh. check the online uni library. but i hate online stuff. so. we shall see.) 😭

[mwydyn]

My degree wont finish until September 2025 with results announced in November -> sucks because I wanted to go straight to a masters and they all start in October

One piece of advice i got from the uni help centre was if i don't do the specific long running module I'll finish my studies in time

Yes thank you I'll just not complete my degree why didn't I think of that

What masters is going to let me on if I don't actually have the degree because i skipped the actual geology project module lmao

[neil-gaiman]

Quoting you for a dissertation?

Hi! I'm an English undergrad currently writing a dissertation on escapism and fantasy (specifically Tolkien and Lewis) and i recently saw your recording at the British Library, and I want to quote it. However, I no longer have access to it, and I cannot contact the curators because of the BL cyber attack. Do you have either a video copy or transcript of what you said about the value of fantasy?

I don’t, I’m afraid. Why not write a paper letter to the British Library and post it to them?

[d-lanx]

I transcribed what McIntyre said to Punk after his mania match

(I did this instead of working on my dissertation and it took an hour of messing with audio and replaying it until I could hear properly)

Essentially, he was saying that Punk is a good commentator and should keep doing it because if he ever wrestles again, McIntyre will end his career. He also really just wanted to rub his win in Punk’s face. Full Transcription is below the photo if you care.

Speakers

P: CM Punk

D: Drew McIntyre

M: Pat McAfee

G: Corey Graves

C: Michael Cole

(ST) is used when multiple things are said at the same time.

Transcription

P: Well, my hat goes off to the champ. I’m not gonna tell him he’s gonna keep it warm for me because I don’t know what the future holds.

*McIntyre stares at Punk, who stares back.*

M: I think he has an idea of what the future holds.

*McIntyre walks towards the commentary table.*

P: Ah. I’ve been here before.

*McIntyre gestures for the other commentators to move out of the way and they do.*

C: Ok.

P: Be careful. Be careful, Drew. Your wife’s here.

*McIntyre climbs onto the table and crawls towards Punk, pushing the belt towards him.*

M: Like a jungle cat on our commentary desk.

*Punk applauds him.*

P: Congratulations. Have fun taking selfies on the internet with it.

*McIntyre kneels on the desk in front of Punk.*

D: I want you to know, every single thing I’ve said about you, I meant every single word.

P: I want you to know that I can’t hear a word you’re saying because I have cans on.

D: And let me tell you something. Right where you’re sitting, I’ll give you props, you got that down like nobody else. Step back in that ring ever again, I won’t put you out for a few months, I’ll end your career.

*Punk laughs.*

D: I’m not playing you; you think it’s funny? I’m not playing you.

P: I think it’s hilarious.

(ST) P: People bigger than you have told me that my career is over.

(ST) D: You’re welcome here.

D: Step back in the ring, I’ll end your career. This is my moment.

P: It is your moment. Why are you- why are you here? Why are you in my face? Why are you making it about me?

D: Because I want to rub it in your goddamn face!

*McIntyre gets up to crouch in front of Punk with the belt.*

(ST) D: Get this shot! I want this framed on my wall!

(ST) P: Alright man. Alright get it.

*Crowd starts chanting “CM Punk”.*

P: I ain’t never won a title and heard other people chanting somebody else’s name.

*McIntyre stands up and gives the DX “suck it” gesture with one hand while holding the belt in the other.*

M: Oh geez.

P: Alright. Ok.

M: Right in his face. He did that right in his face.

*Punk knocks McIntyre over and starts a fight.*

G: Wait a minute!

C: Oh my God!

[mpchev]

Update on fanbinding dissertation: more typesetting, more test prints, more guillotines!

I’ve now spent 23 hours learning how to fanbind! Having SO MUCH FUN, despite the tiny bit of panic that has started to settle in — everything else also takes a lot of time, and these fanbinding hours could have been spent reading more of the abundant fanbinding / fan studies / folklore research, or working on transcriptions, or getting some writing done. Going for equal parts of “it’s all about balance” and “fuck it we ball”.

I ordered some supplies from Ratchford a few days ago — I’ll need to order some more because I was mid flare-up when I did it, so brain was mush and I forgot a bunch of things, but! I now have enough supplies to do some of the next steps.

My new best friend the blue guillotine from the last update? Not such a good friend after all, test signatures were very uneven. Mentioned I was looking for an alternative to one of my profs, and he lent me his own! (Thanks Tom!) It is also blue, I’ll miss it dearly when I have to give it back. Walking around campus casually carrying a guillotine made me feel like the most interesting person in the world, many opportunities for French revolution jokes, highly recommend.

Spent a day at the library finishing up the typesetting, and doing some more printing and cutting tests. With the actual fic on the page instead of the SFW version, so here’s a title reveal if you squint (I’m binding 5 short fics together, had to come up with something). Was worried about regular printer paper looking way too blue-white for a book, but that printer had recycled paper as an option and it looks so much better. Huge thanks to Kait for the moral support, the carrying of the guillotine when I couldn’t, and the pictures of me doing things.

Spent the night making a punching cradle out of millboard (using embroidery scissors as an x-acto knife?! do not recommend) and PVA glue, after seeing someone else posting about how easy it was. (Now, is it somewhat functional? Yes. Should I maybe have googled it a little instead of just eyeballing it in a trance state of Must Do Something Now? Also yes. Later found a great youtube video of what I should have done instead, might give it a go later.) Then punched some holes (so far, feels like I didn’t need to get an awl/my awl is way too big, but we’ll see), and then sown my two more test signatures, one with more embroidery floss and one with the linen thread I now have. Something feels a bit off in the very-thin linen thread + recycled paper + big awl + wonky punching cradle combo, not sure which one to blame, probably a bit of everything. The collection of test signatures keeps on growing!

Went back to the library the following day, printed one more test signature (in case the printer had decided to grow a new personality overnight), and then the two copies of the actual book! Sliced all the sheets in half, put them in the right order, folded the pages, arranged them into signatures, and sliced them to the actual size. Thought I messed up by folding the signatures before cutting them to size, but that turned out to be a better way to do it. They look SO GOOD and SO REAL, I am SO HAPPY, this is SO SATISFYING, I desperately want to learn how to make paperbacks next to carry them everywhere. Also want to bind bigger books. Look at that happy autoethnography face.

Next steps: sewing the signatures, getting the missing supplies, attacking the terrifying ordeal of casing those bitches.

[bigtreefest]

Hi Essie!

I was just reading your post on your application and this is just a thought -- you don't have to respond at all if you don't like this idea!! this idea is purely my CPH4 brain talking I swear I have nothing to do with this lol

So, a young man (okay maybe not so young he was born four years ahead of you according to his page in the uni website ) with some very serious frowning becomes your thesis supervisor at the end of the term. He taught one lesson that you attended and you didn't know him very well besides his name. He rarely speaks, always listening to your presentation/answer, and very occasionally asking "do you have any questions for me?"

Nevertheless, you have impressive GPA and at the end of that term, you decided to apply for a PhD. You already have two letters of recommendation, one from a professor that you have known for two years during your Master's, one from a professor that supervised your Bachelor thesis and teaching a few courses that you attended.

But this damn Graduate School that you want to get in requires THREE. THREE FUCKING RECOMMENDATION LETTERS. And it specifically requires the letter from your dissertation supervisors.

You ask, not with much hope, your current supervisor, the lecturer with a very serious frowning look on his face, whether he could provide you a letter of recommendation.

To which he responded, texting back in a matter of seconds.

-Ofc. When do you need it? Send your transcripts btw.

NOW, the question is: Is he

or

or

----I just thought it'd be hilarious if he's very serious during class and meetings while he's basically any 20-somethings when texting you and discussing things that he shouldn't be sharing with you (like the content of your recommendation letter, or the fact that three recommendation letters is absolutely worthless even though he's providing one for you, or that because another professor is cranky and possibly stealing work from their students, you def shouldn't be choosing him as your doctor supervisor)

Oh I absolutely adore this ask! Thank you so much for sending this in, I unfortunately know the hierarchy of academia too well which is why I honestly think I would be rolling my eyes at these standards, too. I took the prompt and ran with it. 😂

I wanna talk about the other two options before I get to my choice. All below the cut bc it’s long.

Let’s discuss Ari:

Throughout Ari’s undergrad degree, he played football and was greatly interested in world policies, so everyone thought once his sports career and degree was over, he’d be ready to get out there. Nope. He really wasn’t sure where to start, so instead, he decided to keep going with schooling.

His grades were just good enough for him to get into the program you were applying to now. Varsity athletics looked great on the application and his charm was the extra boost. Now that he’s in it though, it’s been almost seven years instead of the usual four to five. Part of it is him going in without much of a plan, wanting to try every avenue, while the other is him just not caring enough to push further and just finish the degree. He’s getting paid just enough to get by and no one has threatened to kick him out, so he enjoys the coasting and the free time it gives for him to look into his actual passions.

Part of the PhD program is all of the grad students sitting in a room grading exams of undergrads every few weeks, and during this, Ari really shows his personality. They have to sit there for hours on end, and it can get boring, so Ari will tell stories to the kid next to him to pass the time, except the room is so quiet that everyone hears. These will range from the various dates with odd girls, to that time he saw a video of someone cooking salmon in the dishwasher, so he tried it out. “It was pretty decent. I swear it’s Kosher! I would do it again if it didn’t take so long.”

Any time he gets trusted to teach, which is rare since his advisor doesn’t really want it in order to guarantee the kids are being taught correct content, questions are not answered very well. It’s either with a “hell if I know. Use google. That’s how they do it in the real world.” Or “wait for the professor to get back. This isn’t my expertise.” Both technically valid, but not what a younger student wants to hear from someone in a position of authority.

Star Student Steve:

Steve was born for upper-level studies. He’s been ready to graduate essentially since getting into the program, knowing exactly what he wanted to research right off the bat. He knows all the content well and is well-liked by students and professors alike. The undergrads have a habit of ogling him and crowding his office hours, so you never even bothered to go. Pending his early graduation, he’s already been offered a job at the university with a full federal research grant, which he could use to travel or gain equipment for his projects. He’s probably considering this, unless one of the prime companies/agencies gives him a better offer. He can’t wait for the opportunity to make new rules and discoveries in the field, just needs to find the best route to get him there. (Talk about a CPH4 brain, haha)

With all of this going on, though, he doesn’t have time for much else. Sure, he’s very kind, but he’s always on the move. Students are not his first priority right now if he wants everything in place to be successful and make history. When it comes to picking an advisor, everyone wants Steve, but after hearing all that, and the standard he might hold you to without giving you the time of day to reach that level, do you really want him?

My wonderful choice Curtis:

(Even before I saw my options, this description was screaming ‘Curtis’ to me.)

He’s definitely the kind of silent student who puts his head down and does his work because it’s difficult stuff. Some may say it’s even more difficult than Steve’s if they knew what Curtis actually did, but he’s so silent and keeps it to himself unless he’s asked. It’s not because he doesn’t want to share, it’s more because when he’s interacting with students, he understands his job is to help them first and foremost. Although Curtis may have been busy, he never rushed and made sure his full attention was on the task or person at hand.

All the Professors know Curtis and really like him for his work ethic and ability to maintain balance and remain a grounded person, except he’s just not a poster boy like Steve. For this reason, his advisor trusts him enough to teach certain classes since Curtis parses out his time well and not only knows the content, but cares about it deeply. At the end of his lectures, though, when he asks for questions, it’s radio silence. Perhaps it’s because he taught the material so well, but even Steve and Ari get the odd question about their research or last Sunday’s football game. Curtis gets disinterested stares until he dismisses everyone. Office hours are pretty quiet, too, until right around exam time when a few students come to him for help since everywhere else was so full. After seeing how helpful he is, yourself included, they keep going back to him, keeping it to themselves, though, keeping him their hidden secret gem.

The lack of recognition Curtis gets is a shame, though, because he’s so nice. Actually, not just nice, but genuinely kind. When you were assigned with him as your advisor, you weren’t really sure what to do. Not many talked about him and the stoic demeanor was a little intimidating, until you actually spoke with each other. He was so sweet and engaged, asking you questions and providing guidance not only on what he thought might work the best, but how to go about it and how to properly convey ideas to the committee panel members at the end. He gave you his phone number, too, in case you needed any help at all, saying he’d pick up anytime.

When you asked him for your letter of recommendation, he was elated. “No one has ever come to me for that before, but ofc. When do you need it? Send your transcripts btw. And your resume.”

Curtis was right, though, he had never had to be the voice of authority vouching on someone’s behalf since up until this point, he was in your exact shoes. “Don’t be nervous to ask questions, but I also don’t want you to think that I’ve got all the answers and you’re not good enough. The only difference between you and me academically is like four classes content-wise. I just have more hands-on experience.” He said it with a soft, reassuring smile that really put you at ease.

He’s aware of the system, and of course he hates it, because he knows what it’s like to be at the bottom. Throughout his time putting together your recommendation, he’s messaging you with updates. “I’m going to add this because they really like to see it specifically highlighted,” or “I’m not even sure what they’re asking here, but it’s fucking stupid if you ask me. Conventions like this are ridiculous. I hate that these decisions are made by people who aren’t even on the ground. If they actually took part in this program, they’d see you’re more than qualified to get into it. But no, for some reason, all important decisions are made by old people so far removed from actual work.”

That second one was in person, though. It wouldn’t look good to have him saying those things in writing. He rolls his eyes before switching back to his reassuring, charming self.

“Anyway, don’t worry. I’ll make sure it’s good.”

And then as he sits down to write, he constantly sends you lines from it. “Does this sound too braggy? Am I hyping up your work too much? I feel like it wouldn’t be fair if I was casual about it, but we’re rocking with a lot of enthusiasm right now and idk where the line is where it’ll seem insincere.😅”

You tend to hang around Curtis a lot while you’re working on finishing up. On small work breaks, he tells you about the weird little things the other PhD students have sent to his email. “I’m what, four years older than you? And so are these other guys, but I swear they act like they’re twelve.” It helps you to laugh at his small little complaints in a time of building stress. He lets you into his life and you see he’s a normal person, just a few years older than you. He’s the whole reason you know about Ari and the dishwasher salmon, and he helps to break down the barriers you feel against everyone in his program that seems to know so much. Half of your conversation is weird everyday things about his life you’re sure no one else has given him the space to talk about. “You texted me while I was watching the hockey game, they were losing anyway so I was grateful to do something else.” He was in the city…at the actual hockey game…drinking a beer and scrolling emails…. Or “my apartment has a no pet policy, but my roommate got a cat, so I hope you don’t mind the little guy joining us today. Just while the landlord does some maintenance so we don’t get kicked out.” He’s half shuffling through the papers on his desk, half giving you an amused smile thinking of the whole situation. Of course, it can’t all be personal, though, so he continues to sprinkle advice in here and there.

“Also, if you wanna keep your sanity around here, keep away from Levinson’s advisor. Not only is he just straight-up a ridiculous man, but he won’t push you if he likes you. And if he hates you, you’ll know it a mile away. That’s why I never chose him for my committee meeting.”

As you prepare to defend your thesis, Curtis is sitting with you in the hallway. He’s been prepping you for this presentation for weeks, but for peace of mind, he asks you potential questions as you wait to be called in. He holds a paper copy of your thesis, saying once again “you’ve got this. Just like the rehearsals. No one knows this stuff better than you. Show them that.” As you stand in front of the small crowd, he gives you a thumbs-up and watches with approving nods as your blow it out of the water.

He gives you a big hug when you pass and an even bigger hug when you stop by the small TA office and visit his desk to tell him about your official spot in the PhD program. “I can’t wait to work together more with you. You’re going to do great things, I know it, and I’m proud to be a part of it.”

[the-converse-high-top]

Affixes, Clitics, and Particles

i think that these parts of language are really cool! so im going to try to explain them :D also i definitely did not get sent down an hours long rabbit hole of linguistic papers and i also definitely didn't find out that the reason i wanted to make this post is actually a misconception :D i love ignoring things :D

Affixes:

the wikipedia article for affixes says that "in linguistics, an affix is a morpheme that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form."

in hopefully simpler terms, this basically means that an affix is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that is attached to a word stem to form a new word or word form.

some examples of these are the somewhat well known prefix and suffix, but also the beloved infix:

prefix: undone suffix: spotless infix: abso-fucking-lutely

sidenote: my favorite thing about english infixes is that they pretty much only work with expletives. in fact, there's a tom scott video about expletive infixations!

Clitics:

wikipedia defines a clitic as such: "a clitic is a morpheme that has syntactic characteristics of a word, but depends phonologically on another word or phrase."

in layman's terms: a clitic is a letter, or a group of letters that form a single sound or syllable, that has the function of a word in a sentence, but depends on another word or phrase based on the sound rules of the language.

a few examples of clitics can be seen in finnish (which also has a great many affixes but we're not talking about those right now):

-ko/kö -han/hän -pa/pä -kin

the spelling of the clitic depends on vowel harmony. if you want to learn more, this dissertation is all about finnish clitics!

you may be asking yourself how to tell the difference between clitics and other parts of speech. well this study has just the thing for you! quite a few tests are suggested by the author of this study if you want to be able to tell if something is a clitic or not, including some of the following:

a phonological test observe how the clitic forms a phonological unit with an independent word. (do not ask me how this one works i dont know) accentual test "clitics are accentually dependent, while full words are accentually independent." put simply, if you can't put stress on it, it's probably a clitic syntactic test a word can stand on its own and be subject to normal word processes such as tense changes while a clitic cannot do this

Particles:

"'Particle' is a cover term for items that do not fit easily into syntactic and semantic generalizations about the language[.]"

read: "particle" is a miscellaneous, catch all term for anything that doesn't fit into the above two categories (or any other word categories like nouns, verbs, etc.)

the author of this study (who i'm going to refer to as Zwicky from now on because it's easier) says that theres no such thing as a particle and that its distinction from affixes, clitics, words, and clauses is unnecessary. i think thats an. interesting take.

anyway even though Zwicky just said theres no such thing as particles (which, how could he do that? theres kids around! we dont want to ruin the magic!) he concedes that there is actually a group of words that are commonly called particles that he agrees are actually particles. but he decides to call them discourse markers instead. because fuck you.

i dont like any of the words that Zwicky included so i made a list of my own:

-ね (ne) eh (canadian english) innit (common transcription of "isn't it", british english)

the funny thing is im coming out of this still not entirely clear on what a particle is. i thought i knew, i did some research, realized i didnt know, and now i'm here. based on how Zwicky puts it, it feels like the category of "particle" exists to accommodate the fact that there might be words* that arent affixes, clitics, words, or clauses but it feels like Zwicky is just being contrary. I should probably have done more research but this post was supposed to be done 24 hours ago.

out of context highlights from my research process: - sanskrit - the panini rule - doch - verbosely long section titles

*i dont actually mean words, i mean a morpheme which is a letter or a group of letters that form the representation of one sound that carries meaning, but i didn't want to make that sentence long and unreadable

if i'm wrong, please tell me! i would appreciate being corrected, i know i am not an expert on this topic in the slightest.

[legalservices123]

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[dallonwrites]

lover boy - wip (re)intro

How do you navigate love after losing the person you loved the most?

I realised I don't like writing WIP intros where I just list everything super neatly + have a nice official summary so I am just going to infodump!! Lover Boy is an Adult Literary/Historical novel set in the late 1980s that follows a gay man's navigation of love, sexuality, community and grief after losing his best friend to AIDS. It's inspired by my own experiences of grief + caretaking and the dissertation I did on grief in queer AIDS narratives. It follows Beau, my beautiful special boy, and is like patchwork quilt of all of his avenues of love -- romantic, sexual, platonic, familial, communal, self -- that is stitched together with the grief from this one major loss. This is paralleled with chronological flashbacks telling the story of Bobby's illness, and how Beau took care of him.

Beau and Bobby are best friends who were platonically in love with each other, who had to adapt their relationship as Bobby got sicker and Beau became his caretaker, and in the midst of this adversity became closer than ever. Beau is a lover of love in all ways, who thinks the best holidays Halloween and Valentines Day, who loves sex but is bad at not falling in love afterwards, who has a soft heart, who also has a massive crush on George Michael. Bobby loved his life, his friends and going to the club with them, scenic hikes and swimming, his pet snake named Judas, leather and heavy metal and activism and also the Muppets (his fave was Gonzo btw). He was obsessed with volcanoes and wanted to be a volcanologist. And Beau misses him so much!!! He is trying to understand what his life is now after losing such a big part of it. He is trying to understand what kind of love he wants. He also is trying really hard not to fall back in love with his ex boyfriend who is back in the picture. And he is not really doing any of this well!!

Other features of this novel:

Gay + Autistic protagonist who doesn't know he is autistic but his special interest is horror movies and it shows (favourites are anything monstrous + full of bloodsoaked practical effects. Favourite of all time is The Lost Boys). Beau literally looks towards horror movies to try and understand grief and loss

Protagonist is a guy who actively wants to be haunted and is looking for any signs of ghosts

Lesbian + Gay + Bi + Trans + everything solidarity. An honouring of that history. Exploration on how the AIDS crisis shaped and reshaped community and identity because well, I did an entire dissertation on it and I am not putting that to waste!!! It is interesting and important!!

A narrative that is brutally honest about grief and death, and all the ways it is messy and complicated. A narrative that also doesn't always take itself seriously because sadness and joy are always holding hands

Narrative that plays around with form (video transcripts, letters, journal entries, descriptions of art) and POV (past + present tense blended together, third person present that often dips into second)

Exploration of caretaking on a community level and an intimate, one to one level. Look into how love is often all the little ways we help each other hold on.

Exploration of disability and sickness and how it shapes your identity, your relationship with yourself and others, especially when you're young (I also have a novella planned actually exploring this from Bobby's POV, but you didn't hear that from me!!!!)

The idea that grief never gets smaller, just your life grows around it

The idea that you can love your friends!!! You can be in love with them!! And that love is no "lesser" than romantic love, and it is just as beautiful and big and bright. Even when Beau navigates romantic relationships, these aren't put on a pedestal above any other type of love

A golden retriever named Atlas (Beau's own beautiful, special boy)

This is a personal project that I'm not publishing, but it means a lot to me so I will talk about it a lot!!! I've been playing around with it in its current form for about a year now and am finally making a dent in an actual first draft. My want is to share long, in depth pieces about how I navigate writing a story like this somewhere like Substack, and also all the fun of drafting it along the way. Expect infodumps and excerpts!!!

[bread-tab]

Doctorate progress:

This spring I was granted an associate's degree (2 years of university, worth about half a bachelor's) by my community college after 11 years of on-and-off classes, repeatedly burning out, getting diagnosed with ADHD, and going back for one (1) English class that I had previously failed or dropped out of 4-5 times already.

I passed that class last year by the skin of my teeth because I'm an excellent writer but kept missing classes and writing assignments due to being sick.

Apparently this gave me just enough core credits for a different degree than the two (transfer and specialized) degrees I'd been going for in the past. The school sent me a letter saying they would automatically graduate me if I didn't respond within the next 4 months. Due to aforementioned ADHD, I didn't get around to it and subsequently forgot about the whole business until I got another letter with my transcript and instructions on how to order a copy of my diploma. ...I should probably do that.

I have decided not to go for the doctorate on account of, I finally have a full time job and if I take more than one class at a time I will spontaneously combust.

Sad about not getting to do a dissertation and all that fun stuff but like. I'm a whole adult. At this point I'd rather invent my own field of study, do the field work in my spare time, and write some books. That sounds a lot easier.

I've already done my decade in academia. I've had enough.

(Maybe I'll find a school without the structural and institutional ableism, ageism, and classism I'm accustomed to and change my mind. But, like, I doubt it.)

So, a little belatedly, I'm giving myself a pat on the back for finishing school. You never have to do it again, buddy. Not unless you actually want to.

[aisakalegacy]

Printemps 1923, Hylewood, Canada (4/7)

Vos filles ont le même âge que Lulu, qui termine cette année ses études et est en plein dans la préparation de son diplôme du secondaire. Il était bon élève quand il était petit, mais ses notes sont en chute libre… C’est un bon garçon, ses professeurs l’aiment bien, mais il ne travaille clairement pas assez. Il est très mauvais en dissertation, son niveau de latin oscille entre le pas terrible et le catastrophique, il est mauvais en histoire, médiocre en algèbre, plutôt bon en géométrie et en arithmétique, par contre il se débrouille en géographie et en sciences. Et avec la fin de ses études qui approche, la question de son avenir se pose plus que jamais… Lulu est bon en sciences, j’aimerais tellement qu’il aille étudier l’ingénierie à Montréal… Mais Jules dit que les études sont juste un puit de dépenses inutiles. J’essaie doucement de m’imposer auprès de mon mari, comme vous dites, mais c’est difficile, notre mariage n’a jamais fonctionné comme ça…

[Transcription] Dolorès LeBris : Pourquoi es-tu debout à cette heure ? Lucien LeBris : Je pourrais te poser la même question, jeune fille. Dolorès LeBris : C’est ton examen qui t’angoisse ? Lucien LeBris : Je… Oui. Puisque tu veux tout savoir, j’ai dû mal à trouver le sommeil. Et cette chambre, je ne sais pas, elle est trop… Eh bien, je n’ai pas l’impression que c’est la mienne. Dolorès LeBris : Tu veux que je reste avec toi jusqu’à ce que tu t’endormes ? Maria faisait ça quand j’étais petite. Lucien LeBris : Tu es toujours petite. Dolorès LeBris : Gnagnagna. Lucien LeBris : Ce n’est pas toi, par hasard, qui n’arrive pas à trouver le sommeil toute seule ? Dolorès LeBris : Layla dit qu’il y a un monstre sous le lit… Lucien LeBris : Allez, viens. Reste avec moi jusqu’à ce que je m’endorme.

[evaglass]

Adding More Backstory to Tang Shen

I wish 2012 had told us more about Tang Shen. Not much was told except that she was born in Fukuoka, was 1/4th Chinese, and was a woman both Splinter and Shredder were in love with.

Also, there's a line Shen says at one point, which involves her saying, "I can take care of myself; I've always have." Giving the idea, she grew up in tough circumstances. We never hear anything about her parents, if she was orphaned or not. We know her grandparents were present in her life, and I looked up information about the city of Fukuoka, which is stated to be a fairly safe place. I wish that line was explored more, but it just feels like the writers put it there for some brief moment of angst.

There was also a bit of writing inconsistencies. In season one, episode 26, there are these lines of dialogue I got from the episode's transcript when Splinter and Shredder are fighting

But then, in season 3, in the Tale of the Yokai episode, there's this scene

Yeahh, I believe I found a way to explain this in my rewrite of 2012, but for now, I want to talk about my rewrite of Shen.

I was thinking of making Shen a Taiwanese woman of 100% Chinese descent. She was really close to her father, but unfortunately, he died when she was still a child.

Shen's mother raised her and Shen's younger sister as a single mother with the help of Shen's older brother, who stepped up to provide for his family after their father died.

Shen was a very studious and hardworking young lady, but also a little bit rebellious as she was very set on the choices she made for herself, whether her mother approved or not.

She got accepted to Cambridge University, where she majored in history and minored in linguistics, as she had a passion for history like her father, and wanted to become a historian.

After she graduated from her undergraduate program, she entered her PhD. program for history, where in the last few years of said program, she worked part-time on her dissertation while also working as an English teacher in Japan.

During her time in Japan, she met Shredder and Splinter. Shen met Shredder first; they became friends, and soon both developed feelings for each other. When Shen tried to make a move, Shredder rejected it, as he wanted to focus on the future of the Hamato Clan and gain the approval of his adoptive father, Hamato Yuuta; he also wanted to respect her dream of becoming a historian, and not distract her from it. Shen was embarrassed but respected his decision and agreed just to be friends.

Shen and Splinter don't get together until a little bit later. Actually, when they first met, they didn't like each other at all as their first impression of each other wasn't great. However, they, of course, do come to respect each other after Splinter helped Shen when her car broke down at the side of the road. Shen and Splinter later become friends and then develop feelings for each other, which surprised both of them, especially Shen, as Splinter was someone she did not expect.

I like to think that as they spent more time together, Shen felt more comfortable talking about her passion and also introduced Splinter about the history of the Renaissance Painters.

She does graduate from her PhD. program, but also accidentally gets pregnant because the portrait Splinter has looked like a wedding photo.

I also thought about how Shen was able to find out about how brutal the war between the Hamato and Foot Clan before Splinter does, seeing how it involved the never-ending cycle of revenge. Finding that out, Tang Shen never wanted her daughter to get involved with ninjitsu.

Look at the way Shen looks at her baby daughter; she would've done anything for her.

She wanted Karai to have a normal life, and that's staying in my rewrite, but I also want to explain why she would push Splinter to leave ninjitsu to go to New York with her to raise their daughter; the history between both clans would play a big part with that, as well as her love for Splinter, but also Shen would still be traumatized from losing her father at a young age, and didn't want her daughter growing up without her father.

But unfortunately, Shen dies. I'm keeping Shen's death the same way it happened in the show, but yeah, that was my rewrite. Let me know what you guys think.

[pens-in-a-jam-jar]

Castlevania Nocturne's Colors Aren't Just More Colorful

I watched Castlevania Nocturne and y'all are gonna hear my Specific Ass Takes. [full video transcript under cut]

[ The whole video plays over a background of a multicolor evening sky with a shooting star, and starts with a light blue silhouette of bunnies and a lantern. When the speaker begins reading, a cartoon bunny head appears ]

I'm working on a bigger video that I thought I'd have out, like, Last Week. Unfortunately, the scriptwriting stage is giving me disproportionate difficulty. So this week, to get something out, I'm gonna be making a small dissertation on the color work in Castlevania Nocturne to all y'all 'cause I watched it on Friday the 13th this fine spooky month.

Spoilers. Obviously. But like specifically I am Not arranging my thoughts linearly, you will get no incremental building to the bigger late game spoilers, they can come at any moment.

[ The video transitions to a speedpaint of a coloring page ]

Colors are by far some of my favorite things to see being used well and played around with, and even if the colors weren't expertly planned and were used for nothing except as a way to differentiate the characters, I'd still love just how much More Colorful Nocturne is compared to Castlevania The First. Something that especially made my brain go absolutely brrRR is the weird interesting thing they did with the color pink. How Anette says Eduoard called her soul pink but her favorite color was always green (the opposite) and it zooms in on him in his fancy green opera coat, which you cannot help but relate back to the tiny jewels Olrox's earrings have in them, and how they alternate between pink and green.

All three of them have the new world in common. All three of them come from horribly damaged communities, and while the girl who refuses to submit and discovers her command over magic as a result carries the color pink in her soul, the boy who uses smooth deception and a calm demeanor as his main tool in the liberation of his community is commonly wreathed in greens, but the creature older and more weathered than them both with no soul and no mission and no community left enshrines both colors in gold jewelry and dresses in deep saturated purples. As if he understands both those things to be important, so important, but he only has his pride and his history left of all that he used to have and hold dear.

But the pink doesn’t stop here because Drolta's primary color is this neon hot pink that only poisonous things are while Maria's primary color is a light soft pastel pink; Drolta willingly gave herself over to Erzsebet centuries ago while Maria was unknowingly primed as an ideal sacrifice for her, and is only saved by her mother, who wears black from the first moment of the series because she was always marked for death. And the Abbot, too, is defined by black because faith without works is dead! This is also why even though Mizrak wears the same black uniform as the other soldiers, the symbol of his faith emblazoned across his chest is white, for it is alive! And then still so many of his shots focus on the rich maroon of his absolutely gorgeous eyes. You are regularly drawn away from the black he chooses to put on by the harmonious colors his true body is made of, and hammered home by the fact he is one of the only characters we ever see in a state of undress! And who- who could it be who we see with him in that scene, where he's covering up all his pretty colors, and what- what could they be wearing still? What could they have chosen not to take off? What jewelry might they be wearing? Hm! Hm. Curious. You don't say!

It's almost like without his faith and his mission and his devotion to a living god through a dead man, Mizrak is alone, but without his ostentatious persona and vampiric menace and regality, Olrox still has the vestiges of that which he has lost forever. Interesting!!

Drolta and Maria aren’t the only ones for whom saturation matters. Not only can Edouard no longer be green after he is transformed because he can never be of that same service to his old community; as if to add insult to injury, his previously pastel sky blue eyes are now this unnatural electric blue. Which lines up really well with how the neon saturation that defines the pinks on Drolta's color palette also defines the greens on Olrox's color palate!! Unnatural creatures do not get to have natural colors. Yes, even if you really like them. Yes, even Alucard!

Alucard is a balance of stark white and colorless black with two amber eyes to anchor him to the world around him. This same golden-ness is present in the magic Maria and Anette use and the markings on Edouard. His two small graces in his new existence are to take the form of an angel and to be marked with the same colors that mark the magic and the faith which stands opposed to all that binds him. Maria sees nothing of value in the church, because her faith lies in herself and her cause and those who support her, and the church as an institution upholds oppression. Anette adorns herself in gold, and glows amber as she calls on her canonically divine magic. A magic of her ancestors and her community's religious practices, which go against the white man's God. Edouard even in the form of a hell beast touches other people's souls with his voice, which is why the vampires (soulless evil creatures) all hate to hear it so.

Then Alucard appears as a deus ex machina in the final moments of the season framed by an eclipse halo and devoid of color but for his piercing golden eyes. He is such a different Thing than anything else we have seen in this season that the established color language *must* bend to him. God only needed to say 'I AM', and Alucard only needed to appear. He himself is all white, he has been alive for so long that the living on in the face of this relentless world defines him; the sword he uses to kill Drolta, save the main characters' lives, and repel the vampire cronies is white and silver. He is life and he protects others’ lives. Yet his coat is black and he promises immediate death to his foes. Where has he been this entire plot: we don’t know When all this dying was happening: where was he? Where was this power beneath the black? Then finally, he says with his soft voice, “I hope I’m not too late.” And he turns to properly face us and we see for certain that his eyes are the color of devotion and magic and sunlight. Sunlight!!!

Speaking of sunlight, if I might detour from colors, when Erzsebeth has transformed into a thundercat, she says she despises the sunlight because it is worshiped and beloved by these inferior humans, and restricts the power of vampires, the superior beings. Now. We know that vampires are only stunned by crosses because the geometry messes with their eyes and befuddles their predator brains, so you would think The Christian God has almost nothing to do with the repelling of vampires. However, if something is properly holy and consecrated, neither demons nor vampires can touch it without consequence. The Belmont Whip is consecrated, and has been for hundreds of years. That holy water Sypha freezes does uniquely damage the night creatures. However, vampires can enter the church in Nocturne, and hell beasts could enter the church in that town that killed Dracula’s wife that I don’t care to remember the name of. The hell beast says it can do this because that church is not a house of God, and the things the priest does makes God puke. The Abbot welcomes Erzsebeth and her ilk in as messiahs and desecrates his own church with a machine from hell. These are sacreligious places run by people who do not truly follow the faith either willfully or in blind cognitive dissonance.

Now, it is shown in Nocturne that Vaublanc is very anti-spells on the plantation despite these protective spells and spiritual songs having nothing to do with The Christian God which he so fears. He cannot escape the cage of crosses that Anette makes for him, but Anette definitively does not follow The Christian God. Yet he is burned by these crosses when he tries to touch them. Because Anette is descended from a god, and this is that god’s material. Because this is a divine act. Because Anette and her magic through devotion to her religion are holy and consecrated.

Therefore: Is sunlight only corrosive to vampires because the very concept of sunlight and the sun is sacred to all humans to some degree??? Did humanity’s collective unconscious consecrate sunlight thousands of years ago and continues to this day to do that, and that is why vampires cannot walk in it??? ‘Cause I think that makes The Most Sense Actually.

And lastly for colors, we have my boy, my beloved, my darling, my second favorite, Richter Belmont in his most distinctive deep blues like the ocean we start the show beneath, like the water he stares into and walks through. Like the tears he cries. The way once his magic returns to him, his fire and his ice match his eyes and the colors he wears because of course they match: This blue *is* Richter Belmont. His magic is a direct extension of his self. It is his soul and he dons that pure white headband he previously tucked away and didn’t wish to look at when he makes the decision to go on living and to choose love and choose these people and make them his mission. He chooses to fight against evil instead of hiding from it, he chooses to extend his love and his soul out to these people and whatever cause they support, and because he chooses that, He Is More. The screen and the vampires are consumed by blue because He Has Become More Than He Was with this choice. His soul burns blue, the second hottest color for fire to burn after white.

Of course his is the only color palette that comes close to being as restrained as Alucard's, because Alucard holds magic and devotion and sunlight in his soul (because as we all know the eyes are the windows to the soul) and simply lives and lives and lives on and on to carry those things forward to the people with whom he wishes to share magic and devotion and life and death, and he makes this choice again and again and again every new day, every new year, every new century he lives. He has lived too long to be anything else but this being of magic and devotion and sunlight and life.

So too Richter Belmont carries his love and the love others give to him forward and forward and forward wherever it will take him, because yes water travels the path of least resistance, and yes it takes the shape of its container, but that is why his choice of who he aligns himself with is so important! He finds people he believes in and he allows them to shape him, to direct him, to have his whole soul. Other characters in Castlevania Nocturne believe in messiahs and gods and power structures and ideologies, but Richter Belmont believes in the people he loves and in the love in his soul. Blue is the color of love! Richter Belmont is made from love and not fear, and he must dispossess his fear of its power if he is ever to truly live!

That scene was by far my favorite scene in the entire show. Just unequivocally. I think in part because that was the part where I expected Alucard to show up, ‘cause when looking up the voice actors I accidentally saw ‘James Callis as Alucard’ and I went ‘Oh my gosh! He really does show up! I was hoping he would show up but he really does show up! He’s obviously gonna make a big entrance!’ and so my anticipation of dear beloved Alucard meant I was very pleasantly surprised by Richter pulling a real Magical Girl Protagonist move and unlocking his magic through the power of love and overcoming your trauma.

[ The coloring page pans across the screen and the video transitions into the end screen ]

But did you know that I make these videos through the power of positive reinforcement and fits of passion? Did you also know I have a Ko-Fi page for those of you who wish not only to give me compliments in comment sections about my pretty voice and how my analysis has contributed positively to your experience on this mortal coil, but who wish to be like Raptorous77 and Random NPC Tartaglia Simp Extraordinaire who hath contributed moneys to me and my continued financial stability? I also have little incentives over there like the Kill Your Darlings Graveyard for scripts where I have waaaayyy too much to say and I have to cut stuff from for flow. I also am prepping a thing where you can chuck money at me to make screenshot edits of things like this Rolling With Difficulty/Paranatural thing I did for fun or the cover art I make for the Broadway Nepeta blog because I run that. If you wanna catch me announcing when my image edit endeavour goes up you can subscriiibe~ If I make it to a thousand subscribers by my birthday (I will give you one hint, I am a Scorpio) then I’ll, like… uhh… Make a community post where I will take requests because I don’t do requests otherwise. It’ll be fun, it’ll be a celebration~

Okay, that’s all from me, also I am definitely gonna be making a Castlevania Nocturne AMV to one of the Pretty Cure openings, mark my words. Take care~

[ There is a stretch of silence and the end screen faces out before a blooper snippet plays ]

Not only can Edouard no longer be green after he is transitioned-- … pff, after he has transitioned… He’s trans everybody! [laughs] Trans Rights!!

[diamondsandtoads]

Making Strange Project Update!

WOOOOOO I finished transcription!

It took me a bit longer than I wanted but I was teaching my first course ever so I think I can cut myself a bit of slack. In total, I did 17 interviews which means I had 17 hours of content to transcribe which is... a lot (lol).

That being said, it's done!!!

If we did an interview together, I will be emailing you in the next few days with your transcription, which I welcome you to read over to make sure I got everything right (but you also don't need to read over it if you don't want to). Once I get the transcriptions back, I will be going FULL STEAM AHEAD on my dissertation which means

*gulp* writing it.

That's all for now! Thanks everyone for being a part of it!