#dnd bullshit

[spyglassrealms]

Fun Forgotton Realms fact: the city of Waterdeep lies on the west coast of Faerûn, right around the 47-48° lines of latitude. It's just south/southwest of a significant glacial mountain chain and has a warm current running up its coast complemented by prominent onshore winds.

Y'all know what city has the exact same position and conditions IRL?

Seattle.

Waterdeep is Fantasy Seattle.

[kichukitsu]

The moment we realized that our GM rocked a bowlcut once-

[csphire]

So... no BG3 DLC?

[kittenintheden]

Not Your Sweetheart Chapter 21 - Heavy

Not Your Sweetheart - Chapter 21 - Heavy

The one where I absolutely delight in reminding everyone that Astarion has a dead average 10 charisma and an 18 CHA Tav gives him a run for his goddamn money in all the best and most angsty ways.

AKA "gets away with it bc hottie w/a body" meets "wins every social interaction and is also troubled and hot."

AKA the seducer gets seduced and he's mad about it, until he isn't.

But also it's a whole campaign? You know. Do not enter unless you're expecting true-to-life D&D -- everyone hot as hell but stupid as fuck. Get your top-shelf found family and hotties battling for flirt dominance tropes here. 

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It's the dry humping chapter, y'all, it's here. Read on AO3.

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"Before his brain can get in his way, Astarion moves his hips forward, a sensual roll up into the seat of hers, and they slot together through their clothes, hardness and softness meeting at last. They both gasp from it, Astarion’s head falling back as he breaks the kiss. When he meets her gaze again, Ori is looking at him with bleary eyes, but there’s care there, a question.

There’s the slightest mental brush between them, not nearly enough to be invasive, but a breath of emotion, of asking. Okay? Good?

Okay. Good.

Astarion puts a forearm against the flat wall beside her head and rests his forehead on hers, letting his eyes fall closed. Then he rolls up into her again, slowly and with passion, the ache between his legs finding some relief against the ache between hers.

And oh. And oh. And oh. Is that nice."

Read the chapter here.

[aboatwithlegs]

Sup losers. Time for your daily dose of #Truth. Imma teach you how to play as the Scooby gang in DnD, because you should stop wasting your life and do something cool for a change.

Fred is a paladin, but doesn't even know he has an oath. He's just a dumb-dumb goodboi and we love him for it.

Daphne is a bard, but like a college of swords kinda bard. She really wants to multiclass into warlock but Fred keeps eating all the idols to forgotten gods.

Velma is a wizard and she specializes in divination. Her glasses are her magical focus, and she has the Magic Initiate feat allowing her to cast Guidance and Goodberry (aka Scooby Snacks).

Shaggy is a ranger and Scoob is his pact animal. His favoured enemy is Sandwich and his favoured terrain is "Far Out". Super unoptimized, but he rolled godlike stats so it works out.

Scrappy Doo is a Barbarian-Rogue-Monk multiclass with the tavern brawler feat. His reckless unarmed attacks straight to the chin apply sneak attack damage and segue into a flurry of blows. He is incredibly based and chad-pilled.

Alright, go out and spread the Good Word. Bully your friends into playing Baldur's Gate 3 with you this way or whatever

[yormp]

It’s all fun and games for the DM until he has to live with the fact that I killed a zombie by yelling “Did you pick that armour out yourself, or did you lose a bet!”

[andi-o-geyser]

DM scolds his adventuring party like a principal chiding a bunch of middle schoolers: more at 12

[namarikonda]

The Drider of Araisodar 🕸️

NPC from my DnD campaign, the Dexial Degenerates.

[airlocksandaviaries]

LET’S HEAR IT FOR OUR

AUTISM

X

ADHD

COUPLE OF THE FUCKING YEAR!!!!!

[strigital]

[rollforbraincells]

“Oh Good Luck wizards of the coast”

[cool-frog-hours]

I love Astarion. My Tav’s feelings are more… complicated. ❄️🌸

Text/Speech Bubbles:

Astarion: *flirting as a way to deflect and to manipulate Tav*

Arrow text: My incredibly autistic rogue who hates being bullshitted

Tav: “Listen, I don’t know what kind of shit you’re trying to pull, but it is NOT gonna work on me- Got it?”

Astarion: “I don’t know what you’re talking about darling~ ”

Tav: “Yes, you do. I like you Astarion. More than you’d think. But do not mistake my kindness for yielding.

Goodnight!”

Astarion: “… heh.

May I still feed on you tonight?”

Tav: “Yes! Now, FUCK OFF!!!”

[mesherew]

I've had this sketch sitting in my wip folder for months now so i slapped on some colors real quick

[yudol-skorbi]

her name is stesha she is a halfling sorcerer with wild magic and she already damaged all of her new friends with accidental thorns, enlarged/reduced random enemies and allies during battle and fell into the owlbear nest

i personally think we are doing great

[lovecoredeity]

introducing Trinket Vaunt! Trinket is a high elf druid (circle of the moon to be exact). All you need to know right now is that he’s currently seeking revenge for the abduction of his family and that he won’t let anyone get in his way no matter how well meaning they may be!

♡ if you like my art please consider buying me a kofi ♡

please note that this is reposted from my old account with a few changes made!

[deer-with-a-stick]

"Oh Jergal gave up his portfolios so his power level is like that of a demi-god lol"

I am a firm believer that if Jergal had the motivation to, he would absolutely fuck up the Dead Three, Kelemvor, and Cyric's shit all at once. Just yoink the power back. Dude just doesn't give a fuck. Sure, he hates Cyric and the Dead Three, but no matter what kind of bullshit they get up to, they a) can't kill him and b) really won't interfere with his paperwork. The whole non-interference thing is very Death God of him. The guy's Lord of the End of Everything, but killing everything at much was too much work and actively holding the power was too boring for him lmao