#do it in person!

[gayskogul]

So I would like all your thoughts on Andrew's letter at the end of The Charioteer....

If this is your way of saying "I know you just stand on the sidelines and never join in our discussions bitch. pspspsps lets talk about andrew," know that it's gonna work. Let me preface this with 1) I'm illiterate hehe and 2) I didn't do the re-read this year, and the last (and first!) time I've read TC was aug 2022. So this is gonna be me noting stuff down as I re-read the passage now. There will inevitably be some context and earlier moments I'm forgetting, sorry bout that.

So the first thing I'm noticing is that when Laurie disguises his letter with his paper, Mary's been kind enough to tell us that it's right next to a list of downed planes and lost pilots. Thanks for setting the tone, Mary! Now I know how this is gonna sting lol. Next, I notice that by god does Andrew ramble! After his introductory bit where he's saying he's tried writing a couple of times and is moving to London, the words really tumble over each other. It feels very verbal to me; he really writes like he speaks, doesn't he? But I'm guessing that's because he's anxious to put such dangerous thoughts on paper. He's just decked a fella, become disillusioned in his beliefs abt pacifism etc., admitting he has romantic feelings for another man, and quite overtly at that. And then he's like "I thought you felt the same", and that it's all confusing to sift through that without Laurie there ("I found I couldn't see things so clearly when I was alone"). It's all so... raw and earnest, which is just so Andrew imo. That said, him only snapping after Bunny taunts him about Ralph and Laurie's relationship is low key very funny but yeah- he's probably had these home of sexual thoughts swimming around, then had them plucked out of his heat and then thrown back at him by (who he thinks is) his love interest's boyfriend. That must have been mortifying to hear aloud, and it must have sucked to realise that Bunny's taunt was true. These couple of lines, "But it taught me something. The thing you want to kill is really in yourself", is so heartbreaking idk.

Then he goes on to say "ok cool im gay. i guess. my pacifism is a lie. Maybe it always was? anyway im gonna go throw myself under the worst of the blitz, thanks for the kiss." To which I think... girl, same. (stream of consciousness tangent: laurie why do all your boyfriends keep trying to off themselves? Can someone go check up on charles????) And then he's ending his letter begging Laurie to deny his relationship with Ralph and my heart just fully breaks for him. I know I'm notoriously sympathetic to Andrew but imagine writing that kind of thing in a letter to somebody! Something I hadn't remembered is how assertive he is that there's nothing happening between Laurie and Ralph. "Will you please tell me yourself that there is nothing in what he said about you and him? Of course I know there isn't." Now that I read this back, I reckon it has the potential to come off as quite arrogant, depending on how one feels towards Andrew. But then he writes, "But somehow it has got a hold on me; I can't get it out of my mind", and I swing towards thinking that oh noooo, he's so not coping. The whole thing is just kinda painful to read through - but it's such a strong read!

Fig. 1. August 25, 2022. A second plane his hit the Quakenation towers.

I think why Andrew's ending sits with me like a sad, little icy splinter in my heart is because I just feel bad for the poor guy. He basically falls in love with a man, and then quite rapidly undergoes loads of realisations about that (and other beliefs about himself), and then has them violently blow up on him. Then he kinda... doesn't really get any closure? Not that we can see in the text, anyway. Like who knows if Laurie ever does write, even if it's just to follow Dave's (cold imo) advice of writing to him "when you feel he's needing it, not when you feel you must".

I'm not sure if this is just a madman's ravings at this point, clutching at straws for a reading but it boils down to me acknowledging how difficult it can be to come to terms with your queerness (and most of us have got it much easier, comparatively), and I know Laurie knows that, and could probably have helped Andrew out. Let him know he’s not alone, or whatever. I'm not saying he should have ended up with Andrew romantically—nor does he have any obligation to do anything, really—but he's been in that place mentally fairly recently and he's just seen that Dave's a bit weird about it. Considering that he'd felt so strongly about Andrew, it's a bit of a bummer that he just goes along with what Dave says and heads off. It's very sweet and poetic to leave him the copy of the Phaedrus, but girl... how well adjusted did that make the other two, lmao. Ultimately, that might keep Andrew out of trouble, but we know he can be quite stubborn and I reckon it'll probably not make it much easier for him in the long run. Dave and Laurie keep trying to be so protective of him that he doesn’t really get a chance to do anything!

[blueskittlesart]

i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through

[enemywasp]

I'm sorry I keep posting my tiktok comments but please. What does this mean. What do people THINK shipping is for anymore???

[katsigian]

Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend

[nothazellevesque]

a man self immolated in front of the israeli embassy in washington dc yesterday. not just any man. an active member of the us air force. he live streamed his death, and said that he refused to be complicit in a genocide any longer. he said that compared to what palestinians were facing every day, setting himself alight was nothing.

let me reiterate. an active duty air force member burned himself alive because he was so disgusted by what the us government was openly supporting. he live-streamed his own suicide, so the whole world could bear witness as a man in his military uniform set himself on fire to protest his government’s complicity in the horrors that we have all been forced to watch happen in real time. he became a new horror. footage of the immolation blurs him out the moment the fire catches, but you can hear him. it is over in seconds, really, but you can hear him screaming. he shouts “free palestine” until his body physically cannot make any sounds other than guttural screams of agony. and then he falls silent. a police officer arrives and points a gun at his still burning body, shouting at him to get down on the ground. and it is over.

his name was Aaron Bushnell. he was twenty five years old. and he isn’t here anymore because the political ruling class has decided that genocide is perfectly fine as long as it preserves imperialism. in the coming days, people will try to discredit him. to say that he was mentally unstable. they will try to bury his actions to save face and defend israel’s propaganda. do not let them. aaron knew what he was doing. he knew what he was doing when he put on his military uniform, set up his twitch stream, and made his final walk up to the embassy. he knew what would happen to him when he flicked that lighter. do not let them forget. aaron’s blood is on the hands of the political ruling class.

[aropride]

interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like

[bookwyrminspiration]

I can behave normally around books

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[etakeh]

[secondbeatsongs]

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

[hoofpeet]

14 year old artists listen to me right now (gripping you by the shoulders) STOP caring about your "internet presence" right naow. Draw slower and stop trying to boil your art down to an acceptable marketable brand

[werewolf-transgenderism]

keep seeing undergrads on social media saying “oh if a prof has a strict no-AI academic integrity policy that’s a red flag for me because that means they don’t know how to design assignments” like sorry girl but that just sounds like you’ve got a case of sour grapes about not being allowed to cheat with the plagiarism machine that doesn’t know how to evaluate sources and kills the environment! I have a strict no-AI policy because if you use AI to write your essays for a writing course it’s literally plagiarism because you didn’t write it and you’re not learning any of the things the course teaches if you just plug a prompt into the plagiarism generator that kills the environment, hope this helps!

[dendrochronologies]

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

[decamarks]

Thinking of becoming a guy that thinks wolves are the most badass and aspirational animal, but about ants. Like wearing t-shirts about being loyal to my Queen and training to bench 5x my bodyweight. Studying ant warfare. Posting shit like this

[kottkrig]

People liking your personal OCs is still such a crazy feeling, I've been doing this for years and ppl asking about them still fills my entire heart with warmth and idk how to handle it

You enjoy this fictional guy I made up for fun?? Whose only content is random artwork or writing made by me and a handful of other artists at most? They have no show/book/game with a large fandom, it's just one person with an art blog?? I love u