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I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
Kinktober Day 29: Cockwarming
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem Original Character
Warnings: Smut, PiV, Feels
Summary: Post-hunt cuddles turn into something more
Word Count: 1486
Authors Note: Title based on the song (I Just) Died In Your Arms by Cutting Crew
I've alluded to this 'ritual' before in a couple of my Dean x Tori fics. I've always wondered how, exactly, the aftermath of a hunt would go. A lot of adrenaline and endorphins are probably running through the body after literally fighting for your life against horrific creatures. It's a fictional scenario, but I wanted to try my hand at writing what it would be like (with a smutty twist because it is kinktober after all)
Tag List: @zepskies @king-of-milf-lovers @nightxcreature
One of Tori’s favorite places to be is in Dean’s arms. Wrapped up in them she felt safe, a feeling that was fleeting when you live a life of constant danger running from things most people only thought existed in their darkest nightmares. She’d lacked a home for years, and it had taken a long time to get to this point, to where Dean, and by extension Sam and the Bunker, had become that home for her. That her room she shared with Dean was hers and that there was no check out time she had to adhere to, no key to return at the end of the stay. Permanency, it was a weird thing, but one she didn’t often take for granted.
Even when the hunts went so smoothly, all three of them moving in sync, the after was a tender moment, the adrenaline dropping off sharply from their systems. After the showers, after the change of clothes, Tori always gravitated to Dean, both of them tangled up in a Gordian knot of limbs in their bed.
Tonight was no different. Tori and Dean both had trudged to the showers immediately after arriving back at the Bunker. All three of them were covered head to toe in blood, dirt, sweat and Tori didn’t even want to think about what else coated her skin. The eldritch horror they’d managed to gank had spewed some death spray upon its demise, and she’d been right in its path of destruction. No matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn’t seem to get the putrid smell out of her nose, convinced some of its guts must be shoved up there.
Tori had heard Dean’s shower go off long before hers, knowing her lover would just meet her back in their room. She toweled off dry, doing her best to wring out most of the moisture from her mane before tossing the towel in the hamper, wrapping a fuzzy robe around her body for the walk from the bathroom. Dean was sitting propped up against the headboard when Tori finally shuffled back into the room.
“I feel so much better it’s not even funny.” Tori sighed, hanging her robe on the back of the closed bedroom door.
“I bet.” Dean cracked his eyes open, watching her toy with her hair, a nervous tic he’d picked up on.
Tori tugged on a dark strand she’d coiled around her index finger before letting it go. She needed a trim, the fraying ends falling just above her hips.
“That stuff smelled so awful. I felt bad for you and Sam havin’ to ride back with me.” Tori chuckled.
But the momentary jest faded and she took a deep breath, feeling the rush of the hunt, the adrenaline that had been coursing through her quickly evaporating, leaving her feeling almost empty.
Dean, ever the observant one, opened his arms as she turned back around to face him. “Hey, c’mere.” His voice was warm and placating, an invitation as much as it was an attempt at reassurance.
She quickly plaited her hair, securing it with an elastic before walking over to Dean’s side of the bed. His warm hands fell to her hips as she straddled his waist, their bodies pressed together as much as physically possible. Tori buried her face in his neck as Dean wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her close, breathing her in. The ritual of it, this getting so close but feeling so far, wasn’t new. It was a way of collectively dealing with the loss of adrenaline, working through the near-death experiences, remembering that despite the spattered blood and gore behind their eyes when they fell asleep that the other was still here.
Tori giggled into Dean’s neck as she felt something poke against her inner thigh. Dean’s hands grasped her hips in a mock scolding way.
“You’re sitting naked on my lap, what else do you expect, Tor?” Dean stammered, smoothing his palms up and down the tops of her thighs.
“It’s fine, Babe.” Tori couldn’t help but smile at the blush painting his neck and face a pretty shade of pink.
“Tor, where-” Dean started as Tori lifted herself up, but quickly shut up as she reached behind her, grasping his length, holding it steady as she sheathed him inside her. “Fuuuck.”
“There,” Tori breathed, wrapping her arms back around his waist, resting her head back on his shoulder. “That’s better.”
In its own way this served its own role in the ritual. Neither one of them could ever get close enough to truly fill that dip in adrenaline and cortisol, and it wasn’t the first time this need for closeness ended with Dean inside her. It was about as close as they could get without physically crawling under the others' skin to find a place to call home, even when that was all Tori’s body was screaming at her to do.
Dean’s hands explored her body in smooth, sweeping lines. Up her thighs from her knees, across her hips, up her back and down again. They sat like that for longer than Tori cared to keep track, letting their bodies reregulate to the rhythm of the other; their breaths were nearly in sync, his heartbeat thudding under her ear. Slowly Tori could that jittery and on-edge feeling subside, her body exiting fight or flight mode, leaving exhaustion in its wake
Tori could feel her eyelids start to grow heavy, but the not-so-small fact that Dean’s cock was nestled inside her kept the sleepy feeling just far enough away. She knew the same subtle restless feeling was tugging at Dean by the way he kept shifting under her. Granted, Dean wasn’t exactly good at sitting still, the untreated ADHD prohibited her lover from sitting for long periods of time without something to keep that racing mind occupied. Maybe his legs were starting to go numb, her own had fallen asleep long before.
She gave an experimental roll of her hips, the movement subtle and testing, unable to conjure up enough energy to truly move atop him. Still, her movement had Dean’s wandering hands still on her waist, fingers curling into her skin as he let out a surprised sound from the back of his throat. Dean caught on quick enough as Tori ground against him, simply shifting her hips back and forth enough to create friction against her clit, sliding just enough on his cock to have both of their breathing start to go ragged. Tori dragged her lips up the side of his neck and along his jaw, stubble scraping against them, until she found his mouth.
The kiss was just as lazy as their hips, Dean’s tongue sweeping into her mouth with languid strokes in the same breath as his hand coming up to cup her face. He always touched her with such conviction. He cherished her in a way that made Tori feel so damn special, so complete. He was never greedy, taking only as much as she gave him with not so much as a whisper of discontent. Even now, when both of them were bone tired, he let her set the pace. Tori was half convinced he’d kneel before her and worship at her feet if she asked, not that she ever would, nor would she want him too; they’d both been on their knees for too long and for the wrong reasons, never again, not even for her, would Tori want him needlessly down on his knees again.
Slowly, that pit in her belly grew, her movements becoming incrementally more animated as she felt the sensations building. Her hand came up to cup his face, her other resting on his chest, palm pressed skin to skin over his heart as she rolled her hips against his. Tori panted into Dean’s mouth feeling that tug grow tighter and tighter. His hand on her hip gave her an encouraging squeeze, the reassurance pushing her over the edge. Dean tugged her close, supplementing her climax by tilting his hips up into her, chasing his own high which came not long after.
Dean carefully maneuvered them back down the bed, sliding himself out of her. His arms wrapped around her middle kept her lounged on top of him, continuing the lazy lines up and down her back.
“I love it when we do this.” Tori muttered into his chest.
“Have sex.” Dean joked, earning him a swat to his arm.
“No, jackass.” Tori crinkled her nose at him. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” Dean chuckled, the deep sound resounding through her body.
Tori smiled softly at him, leaning up to peck a kiss to his lips. “I love you.”
Dean’s hand slid up her back, cupping the nape of her neck. “I know.”
“My God you’re a dork.”
“You love it.” Dean grinned at Tori.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Tori.”
#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester fanfic#spn fanfic#supernatural dean#spn fanfiction#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#kinktober 2024#kinktober
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Prologue Next
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“We’ve secured the suspected meta.”
“Copy that. Red Hood, do you have eyes on the last of them?”
“Not yet, but I’m pretty sure she’s in this apartment.”
Several months ago a group of unpredictable rogues had popped up in Gotham. Nothing unusual for the city, other than they appeared to be a group of teenagers who were both criminals and heroes. Stolen goods of various types ranging from common camping supplies, food, and clothing, to an odd assortment of medical supplies and technology. Assaulted police, other heroes and vigilantes given the slip. And yet there were also many criminals dealt with that hero teams couldn’t account for who was responsible. The main lead they had gotten was the suspected meta human. A girl with white hair that could fly, phase through walls, and various other super human feats. She had been the first lead they could latch onto, and from there they had built profiles on the other three. The oldest girl appeared to be in her late teens, another girl just a few years younger, a boy the same age as the second girl, and then the metahuman, younger than all of them. They had been more of a curiosity than a serious threat. Until they had stolen something from the wrong people and painted a target on their heads. Now they were in a cross between a rescue and capture mission as the team only known as The Phantoms were being raided by pissed off crooks.
The three youngest had already been caught by the rest of the team sent by Batman, it was only the eldest girl that remained. And unless Tim could pull off a miracle Jason only had ten minutes to find her before the planted bomb destroyed the building they’d been hiding in.
With Barbara’s help he and a few of the others had searched the entire apartment building, checking each room for the remaining Phantom and placing eyes where they’d been to make sure she didn’t give them the slip and run to somewhere they’d already been. Jason had just slammed through the front door of one more apartment when he’d answered Barbara’s question, a scattering of food wrappers in a trash pile, a small cook top, sleeping areas, and other items for basic needs betraying recent habitation. It was a good hint that this was where the Phantoms had stationed, especially with the scrabbled together computer workstation setup off to one side.
There were only three other doors in the apartment, and Jason moved to the first one quickly. A closet near the front door. Empty. A bathroom across from the front room. Also empty. Which meant the last room, the bedroom, had to be where she was, if she was there.
Jason flung the door open and promptly caught the crowbar that was swung at his face, accompanied by a near frantic screech from the girl he’d been looking for
“Got her,” Jason announced to the comms, deftly yanking the crowbar out of the girl’s hands and tossing it to the side. “Begin evacuation, I’ll be out in - ….. Shit.”
As Jason spoke to Barbara and the rest of the team he decidedly ignored the girl’s demands for him to get out, having to block a fist thrown his way. He’d noticed she was obviously distressed, tears marking her dirty cheeks and a fierce glare directed his way. It wasn’t unexpected considering she was the last of her team they didn’t have in custody; she must have felt any myriad of emotions ranging from despair at failing to fear that they would hurt her. Yet Jason quickly noticed something that made him cuss mid report, and realize the girl's actions weren’t out of defiance, but protectiveness.
“There’s five of them,” Jason reported, finger pressing to his comm and eyes locked onto the new figure that hadn’t been part of any of their intel. And for a good reason. The lad was unconscious on a cot, one of the stolen items in the team’s list, and he didn’t look good. If it weren’t for the shallow, shuddering breaths from him Jason would have thought he were already dead, his skin ghastly pale other than fever flushed cheeks. “There’s another boy, heavily injured. I’m bringing them both out, have someone standing by.”
“DON’T TOUCH HIM!”
Of course the girl heard his report, and renewed her efforts to fight Jason, blocking him from reaching the fifth member. They didn’t have time to converse gently though, and so Jason grabbed her arm and yanked her forward. “Listen! I’m not going to hurt you, I’m trying to rescue you. There’s a bomb! We have to get out of the building, and get him to a hospital.”
The girl was smart. Or at least not dumb enough to ignore Jason’s words completely, for she froze the moment he mentioned the bomb. “...What?” she asked, wide eyes locking onto him, daring him to trick her.
“Look, you guys trying to steal Lazarus water pissed off the wrong people. They planted a bomb, and my team and I are here to rescue you. We can talk about your crime runs later, alright?” Jason explained a little more, really not wanting to have to knock the girl out too just to get the two to a safe area if he could help it.
The way the girl’s eyes opened, a horrified gasp escaping her, told Jason she wasn’t a bad person. Or at least reinforced what their actions aside from theft had suggested. That was the reaction of someone who realized they’d made a mistake, and felt the weight bearing down from the mess that had been caused because of it. She stopped trying to fight Jason now, pulling away and rushing to the 5th member’s side, grabbing his limp arm and hooking it around her own shoulders to try and lift him up.
“Is he safe to move?” Jason asked, stepping forward to help. Even though the lad looked fairly small, he was still too heavy for the girl judging by how she was struggling to even get him upright. “His spine isn’t hurt? No broken bones?” he asked to clarify when the girl looked at him with a question half voiced.
“No. Nothing broken, just the-” she confirmed, cutting off when Jason reached forward and effortlessly scooped the frail teen up.
“Hold onto my back. We’re going that way,” Jason directed, ignoring the way she tensed, holding herself back from demanding he not touch her friend, and nodding towards the window.
“WhAT?” the girl sputtered, hands jerking as she internally wrestled with being obedient to him or her own sense of self preservation.
“We’re out of time. Just grab on,” Jason half snapped, roughly kicking the window to shatter the glass, twisting his frame to shield the lad in his arms as well, just in case. “One minute,” he added, repeating what Barbara announced in his comms to reinforce his directions.
It was enough. Pursing her lips and giving a soft whimper the girl rushed forward to throw her arms around his shoulders from behind, clinging to him with a death grip. Jason wished he had a better way to carry both of them, but he hadn’t been expecting there to be two of them in the first place. So he could only hope the girl’s grip was strong enough to hang on as he shot a zip line towards where the others were gathered. After getting the other end secured to the building they were in, Jason latched the clip on the rope and swung over the fire escape, curling his legs up to make sure the lad he was carrying had plenty of support. He could hear a muffled, drawn out squeak from the girl on his back, but didn’t comment.
“Wh- Ja- DANNY! LET HIM GO YOU-” the mid teenage girl caught sight of them first, snarling and trashing against her restraints when she saw who Jason had. Cass refused to let her go though, pulling her back to kneeling and considering pushing her down further if necessary. She didn’t get to finish her protests though.
“HEADS DOWN!” Dick shouted after Barbara announced a second to detonation, and those who had capes were throwing them over their targets and each other, hunching over to bodily protect them from the cascades of blasts ripping through the apartment building the Phantoms had been stationed in. They were far enough away that they shouldn’t get hurt from the collapsing rubble, but there was still the possibility of smaller debris getting thrown at them. So they remained huddled on the ground a safe distance away until the rubble settled, and only when it stopped shifting did they stand again.
“Oracle, status on the inbound units?” Dick was the first to speak, the others giving sighs of relief and partially relaxing.
The two middle teenage children had quieted significantly after the explosion, the boy looking at the rubble in shock as he realized they would have been caught in it if it weren't for the group of vigilantes that had captured them. And the girl held a similar period of stunned silence before she started kicking at Cass again. “Get off me! Get your filthy hands off Danny!”
“Sam, it’s okay.” The eldest girl spoke with a shaking voice, slipping off Jason’s back and leaning her head against him in a moment of despair. Cass’s hand froze where it had been about to knock out chop her feisty captive, blinking and looking up instead. So the middle teen’s name was Sam? And the unconscious lad was Danny?
“The meta is waking up. Should I dose her again?” That was Damian, keeping an eye on the youngest Phantom. She was starting to stir, but the eldest Phantom spoke up before the others could.
“Don’t. Please. They’ve been through enough. Just please bring her over here, I’ll manage her,” the eldest girl directed. Her voice was still shaking, but it had steadied somewhat after Jason had turned slightly while remaining crouched to allow her to sit next to their 5th member, her hand resting on his cheek as she was gathering the breaking pieces of her determination.
Stephanie and Cass only exchanged looks with each other, and also Dick and Tim, before Jason spoke up. “Just bring her over. She might be more docile when she’s near this one.”
They didn’t seem completely convinced, but Stephanie at least complied, moving to crouch on one knee with the youngest girl while Damian hovered nearby with another dose of sedatives.
“You’re doing the right thing kid. When the cops get here with the paramedics they’ll get Danny taken care of. You don’t have to worry,” Jason encouraged the eldest girl, grateful that she was getting her team to behave.
“They can’t take him,” she rejected, catching the rest off guard.
“What? Look if it’s about money don’t worry, it’ll be taken care of,” Jason insisted, hoping it wasn’t because of a different possibility he was quickly starting to consider. He’d thought it was just his imagination, but Danny was unusually cold to the touch. Almost like ice. There was another common reason he knew people avoided hospitals despite being this injured.
The eldest girl shook her head again. “It’s not that it’s….” she paused, seeming both reluctant to tell them but also not sure how to tell them what was going on. She wasn’t even sure what was wrong. But when the youngest teen groaned and started to shift the eldest looked at her and found her answer. “Danny is like Danielle. Doctors can’t help them. They’re too different.”
That’s what Jason thought, but it didn’t mean he wanted to hear it, and it earned an understanding but frustrated groan from him and some of the others. “Shit. Alright,“ Dick took charge of the situation, hissing slightly and reaching to his own comms. “Oracle, where’s the nearest safe house? The 5th member is another potential meta, unconscious, and heavy bandaging over the whole torso. Can you contact home and have Penny-one or The Doctor on standby?”
As Dick took care of directing the team, Jason took care of keeping their tentative ally willing to listen to them. “We might have some contacts that can help. We have friends that also need more attention that the regular doctor can give them. Do you kids have names we can use?”
It was more of a lead than they’d had since they’d gotten stranded there, so the eldest teen seemed hesitant but hopeful to grab onto it. After a moment of thinking, her other hand reaching out to Danielle as she started to blink her eyes open, she responded. “My name is Jazz. This is my little brother Danny, my little sister Dani with an I, and our friends Sam and Tucker.”
“... Your parents gave your little siblings the same name?” Jason couldn’t help asking after hearing the relationships. That also explained a lot about why Jazz had been so frantically protective of Danny, aside from her being the oldest of the group.
“It’s… a long story,” Jazz admitted, grimacing a little. “Danielle… was unexpected.”
Looked like Jazz didn’t quite trust them enough. That was fine, they didn’t need a whole backstory right off. Oracle could probably figure it out easily now that she had names and relations. “Fair enough,” Jason dismissed with a grunt, ending his conversation as Dick approached them.
“Hey. There’s a whole mess of stuff going on, I know, but right now we’re going to focus on making sure everyone is taken care of, and then we can figure out the rest of the mess later, okay?” Dick started, leaning low with his hands on his knees and speaking gently. “The police and paramedics can take care of the criminals that were hunting you, but since he’s a special case we’re going to move to a different location where we’ll give everyone a check up. Sound good?”
Jazz didn’t jump at the offer, but they could see she saw promise in it, and hesitantly nodded. “My friends and I stay together at all times. Got it?” she demanded.
“Sure,” Dick agreed, not seeing any issue with that. “But we’ll keep the restraints on if necessary, alright? You all still have charges of assault after all.”
It was easy to see Jazz’s expression fall significantly at the reminder, as though her soul had been slightly crushed. “Yeah… okay,” she agreed, swallowing some nausea that had churned her stomach at being reminded they were criminals. Then, before Danielle could fuss too much, Jazz turned to rest a hand on the small girl’s arm. “Dani, these guys have agreed to help us. So behave and don’t pick any fights unless I say otherwise, alright?”
The fist that Danielle had prepared to punch her holder didn’t move, and after a moment Danielle groaned in reluctant relent. “Guhhhh can I at least punch the guy who drugged me? I feel awful.”
The comment earned a weak chuckle from Jazz, and she patted Danielle’s arm. “I’ll think about it. Just rest for now. We’re moving to a safe place.” She hoped she wasn’t lying to Danielle, and that these people would actually, finally give them the help they needed.
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I guess I go here now =v=;;;
Partially inspired by this post. But not including everything because there's a lot of stuff I don't understand. |D This just got stuck in my head so hard I couldn't work on anything else.
#my art#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#I dunno what to tag this with#do people get mad if the main tags get crossover stuff in them?#phantom rogues#nervous about posting#but yolo
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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22 more images below the cut (Warning: Less than moral discussion ahead):
Light leads L to a particular stretch of woods that he calls "neutral ground" and demands to hear L's conditions for him to work with Kira. L tries to explain in a way that will convince Light to accept his assistance. It appears to be successful...
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Big Disclaimer here: I, personally, don't condone the "Kira Plan" in any way, shape, or form. I don't even believe that there is a "correct" way to enact it. I am very firmly on the "Anti-Kira" and "Light is a Tragic Character with Bad Coping Mechanisms/Self Delusion" teams. I don't want to spoil too much of what's left of this story, but I do have a plan/explanation in the future~.
#drawn by me#my fanart#my fancomic#Death Note#The Chain#Light Yagami#L#lawlight#morally dubious and pretty darn reprehensible discussion and negotiations#L trying to get into Light's good graces#trying to criticize Light's approach without immediately damning himself#good thing Light’s practically head over heels for him already~#forest and trees#I apologize for the disclaimer there but I find it necessary so people don't get the wrong idea about me#I may love Light to bits but I do think it's an immoral plan that's just plain garbage and an excuse to absolve himself of guilt#and I enjoy watching his and everyone's antics in a Ryuk-esque way because it's an entertaining fictional series/franchise~#this is part of the reason that I was a little nervous to post this entry: that people may try to equate my views with what is written her#henh sorry for the serious stuff in the tags but serious stuff is being discussed in the comic
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Also, just to let everyone know...I am extremely fucking shy when I first start out a blog, it takes me forever to send out asks to others or such. I've been getting better at it but I still hesitate at times at the start. So, I promise I do wanna interact...I just get nervous about it and might chicken out.
#Out Of Ki | {OOC}#From The Heavens | {Mun Post}#And if you see me interact with Tem a lot; that's because Tem I actually know real well...we've RPed in various fandoms#So I'm cozy with them; but newish people I never have? I get nervous about still#Hell; there are some I consider friends and know in other fandoms too and I still am nervous sending them stuff <XD#I am a shy bitch at times; like extremely shy QwQ#And worried if anyone likes the muses too...so yeah...<XD#Don't take it personally if I don't send stuff for a bit; I do wanna I just get nervous like crazy QwQ
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Since a lot of people are interacting with my ocs/aus as of lately I'ma link the posts to my art requests and interacting with ocs again lol. These links can also be found in my bio and pinned post too. But I've noticed a lot of people who interact with me don't read either of these posts.
Link to interacting with ocs info/rules
Link to art requests rules/info (This post about requests is the most important out of the two. So even if you don't want to read both at least read this one if your gonna make a request)
#mono rambles#dw I'm not directing this at anyone lol. It's just a lot of people don't like the two posts about making requests/interacting#so I assume they haven't read it even though they're sending in requests#and I just feel its relevant to my content lol#like I said not directing it to anyone. and reading those two posts is super simple and its mainly just basic stuff lol#the art request post is the most important one out of the two!!!!#tldr for art requests: say who the ask is for cause I won't know unless you say!!!! I won't be able to do your request!#Have refs linked on a pinned post or something#I'm not going looking for refs I'm lazy and also busy. Your getting free art. The most you could do is make it easy for me to find the refs#Edit: also Idm as much if its my moots making these mistakes. Since I don't feel as nervous to approach them lol. It's just when its people#I don't interact with when I feel nervous about it
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Your prose is so unique and I just really want to know if there are any pairings you plan/want to ever write but have a hard time with (outside the naruto fandom as well)
🥺😭💕💕💕 thank you so much, you're always so kind!!
there's a ton of stuff I have ideas for (varying degrees of vague to decently thought-out plots). I've even written out decent chunks of a few, but am not happy with for reasons
ichigo/rukia: watched the first arc of bleach with my wife during initial quarantine and thought these 2 were so aesthetically complementary and CUTE with each other?? not confident writing them just because idk the source well enough (I know the canonical endgame couples though 🥲)
bakugo/uraraka: I can't nail bakugo's attitude, and my uraraka comes out bossy & outspoken. I have an easier time throwing eijirou in the mix and bc he suits them both very well (they're such a lil ot3 for me!!)
matrix/andraia: ummm kind of a deep cut with this one, no clue if any of my readers even know what they're from. a canonical power couple (and my pansexual awakening shhh) who honestly get done justice by the source, how can I compete with the hottest woman I've ever seen calling her absolutely jacked, emotionally stunted bf "lover" and him killing the big bad with HER WEAPON??? *chefs kiss*
ryoko/ayeka: another semi deep cut. I love the idea of them together but can never write enemies/rivals to lovers with any believability. had a dream once where ryoko was carrying ayeka bridal style.....they might be Fanart Only territory for me
ino/sakura: although I'm writing about them in one fic (and have a separate [smutty] one cooking), these 2 are hard for me. idk if you guys have seen that post that's like "came back from the codependent homoerotic friendship wrong" but that was a Real Thing I lived through lmao I didn't even ship inosaku until years after we'd stopped talking 😩
leon/ashley: they are simply Too Sexy for me to even think about attempting. I'll read other fics of them and have to put my phone down to take regular breaks like I'm doing manual labor they make me INSANE. but maybe someday I'll get there (I'm working on one that's just titled "sin" in my docs HELLO)
#ichiruki#kacchako#inosaku#leshley#tenchi muyo#reboot 1994#sorry to tag all these very different fandoms i just wanna keep track of my posts 😭#idk even though i have the best readers on earth i still get nervous when tagging stuff bc like. I've seen The Discourse#both on Tumblr and on like fanfic Reddit spaces#about how people can treat ''proshippers'' which. again. i guess i am. i just enjoy daydreaming about characters that are relatable#and also hot lmao#anyway ty for coming to my ted talk. do people still say that. its 120am and i can't sleep HELP#user728299292
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I feel like clumsy smurfs personality in every iteration is kinda bad
#like first we have the old series and from what I remember he was suppose to feel like dumb or goofy in a way which doesn’t make any sense#cause when did intelligence have anything to do with being clumsy#then there were the movies where he was just kinda anxious and nervous which isn’t bad but#again what does being brave or confident have to do with being clumsy#and in the newest movie…..HOOOOO DID THEY UP IT UP TO 100 WITH HOW SCARED AND ANXIOUS HE IS CAUSE……WOW#I again must ask WHEN DID HOW BRAVE OR OUTGOING YOU ARE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BEING CLUMSY#like I don’t think him being more nervous to do new things or being a bit shy around people is bad I just#dont think they know how to characterize clumsy because it’s a very open thing#how I would fix this…..I’ll make a post about that actually cause I have a few other Smurfs I’ve got a problem with…while also praising some#cause they did get some of them right too#my stuffy stuff#text#a lot of text#the smurfs#smurfs
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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if any of you ever notice me liking, un-liking, and re-liking your posts, (sometimes multiple times a day. sometimes multiple days apart.) please (try to) ignore me. i am sorry. i am insane. thank you. have a good day
#i like actually have issues#i need to ''line up'' and semi-organize my likes (which act as my bookmarks)#and like. it drives me insane when things arent how i Need them to be.#like for example three fics of the same character need to be one after the other and stuff#it goes kinda deeper and more insane but just to give you a general idea#so catch me constantly liking and unliking and reliking things a billion times#also do it to like put some things back at the top of my likes because so much gets buried so quickly and i just need to remember its there#both with things i that havent read yet and with things that i want to reread#i feel like so insane and annoying about it all the time🧎but like its just something that i Need to do...#like it actually kind of upsets me#if i dont. but also when i do.#it also honestly makes me scared/nervous that people will get really annoyed and or weirded out by it if they see/notice it happen:/#i definitely have further mental issues#anyways#basically just im sorry and please ignore me#talkin shit#maybe i should talk to someone about this. or go down the research rabbit hole. aaaaaaaanyways.#goodnight!#it is 8am and i dont know how im still awake!#this was a certified talkin shit post#absolute wall of tags jesus#sorry :p#if you read all of this. i am sorry and i love you (big deal for me)#(another issue of mine)#🧍#hashtag unnecessary off putting weirdo rant😝#my specialty#okay bye#just had to edit this post a billion times.#woah tag limit reached. its a sign for me to shut the fuck up. note taken. thanks tumblr.
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idk if i've said this before and idk if anyone cares but this blog is like 98% queued posts, just so everyone is aware
#basically polls and other time sensitive things get reblogged right away#everything else goes into the queue most of the time#sometimes i get nervous when i don't rb people's oc posts and stuff immediately like no i do love it#but i wanna make sure others see it in a few days once it makes it through the queue#so the post stays alive#on a related note my anxiety has been terribly bad today so i'm just nervous about everything and it's Bad#moxie.txt
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Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.
Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.
And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.
Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.
#sanders sides#siding post#like i hope i didn't come across as a jerk or anything. i have a really hard time with tone when i'm 'talking' like this#it's the autism for sure i have a hard time reading tone from others too. i wish i could just make a video or something#i mean i could but idk if anyone would want that. i actuall thought the other day about it but...#why WOULD anyone want my lame ass snobby opinions on stuff? though i think to be a snob you have to think you're right#which i don't think i'm wrong but i also don't think other people are wrong#idk. i'm wiped. i work with 10 one year olds for 9 hours a day plus taking care of my grandparents and class#i'm eepy. maybe i should stop making posts when i'm half dead. but that's the only time my anxiety turns off#but good news!!! i'm getting back on my meds which should help with pretty much everything#i keep writing in the tags bc i'm stalling hitting post bc i'm nervous everyone is going to hate me and think i'm a jerk and stupid#i literally don't care what other people do this post isn't actually about having an opinion on what is canon it's about the fact that we#all have to have an opinion on what is canon and more likely than not you're going to be talking with people who are not talking about the#same thing as you and it can get confusing.#ok i'm going to hit post now if you read all my tags you're a real one but also why did you do that to yourself
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i did plan to add to my queue then dip but i will leave with one thing. a couple things. um. Yes i know chapter 8 is late. it will be late until next week friday i am VERY sorry but this week, while unexpectedly great, was also super busy and i had no time to myself At All during the week and i’d like to do that this weekend.
also yesterday. i saw blue beetle. GREAT movie excellent movie everyone go see it immediately. i will talk about it more next week when i come back. so yes. i love you all. thank you
#it was a great week i was nervous as we all know about the start of the semester#but it was great! i made some friends. had an AWESOME conversation with 2 people in my cohort about comics (both dc and marvel)#also successfully recommended batgirl vol 3 and young justice 1998 but i am ESPECIALLY happy about batgirl. As we all know#my professors are all really nice. A Lot Of Reading. but really nice. not out to get us or anything#but yeah. i just. don’t have the energy to proof chapter 8. This Is An Issue Of Mine#where i get like idk fatigued of doing that every week bc i don’t have the foresight to proof chapters ahead bc i’m a silly goose#and i just really want to work on other stuff. but also my parents are in town and i’m not complaining but there’s like. Things taking my ti#my time** so. ck will have to be put aside#again. SORRY#and no i won’t just post it as it is like i said it Has To Be Proofed#For Me. For Me.
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youtube
whoah movers in casual outfits ,,,
#i mean i know there are other times we see them wearing casual but lol idk#ok heads up for rambling in tags below lol#i choose to believe they're still in character here nyehe. idk i've been trying to separate them from their show characters#but watching these videos outside of the show is making it a little difficult hhh#not that i mean i'm getting parasocial. it's just that their characters are influenced by their actual persons so#eh idk just feels weird. was mostly a fan of the show specifically but being a fan of the band itself just clashes something with me#probably skill issue on my part lol. like i've been a fan of bands before. i've done more 'fandom-y' stuff like read/write fics etc.#the difference is those bands cover their identity alot outside of their performances etc. that it's convincing enough to see it as fiction#but the official imovers do interact with fans regularly and stuff and and it just makes me nervous like ah these are people not characters#'i respect mr collins mr smith mr durbin & mr poche as normal fellow humans' but with their characters it's more personal (?)#and idk man live action always feels a little weird for me to handle haha. the thought of being parasocial makes me anxious#what am i yapping about !!!!!#ok you know what i think it's the compulsion talking. post cancelled i'm fine with this. sorry for net zero info if you read all that lol#i can imagine the show movers wearing the outfits they're wearing here ngl#moversposting#Youtube#btw they pretty much were in character so my worries are all for naught lmao
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I have such a complicated relationship with Tenko.
She’s a character I really really want to like but I just.. She’s so terrible in V3 lol. Tenko has only two major Things about her, those being Hates Men and Loves Himiko. Which are both riddled with problems.
Hates Men going first because I think my thoughts on that are less controversial, but it obviously was Bad. Aside from the everything of everything about how it was written and handled, after chapter 1 the game is from Suichi’s pov. Suichi who is a boy. So almost every interaction you have with Tenko is negative, and having someone who can’t stand the player character for seemingly no good reason (free time events not being counted since it’s not guaranteed you’d see hers in a given play through) is not a great way to endear someone to the audience. I will say I think if Kaede had stayed the protag that this problem would likely be less apparent, but I’ll get to that later.
Then there’s the Himiko thing. And I get it, I do, and I know a lot of people do really like that ship, but to me it always just came across as a wlw version of Soda and Sonia’s relationship and that doesn’t sit well with me. Now, I love Soda, I’ve gone on record saying he’s my favorite boy in all of danganronpa, but myself, everyone else, and most importantly the games narrative, can all agree that his obsession with Sonia is bad. It’s bad that he constantly goes after her when she doesn’t express reciprocated feelings. It’s bad that he invaded her personal space. It’s bad he jumps down the throat of anyone that tries to investigate her as a potential culprit. And it’s bad that he reacts with viceral jealousy when Sonia gets another friend/love interest (Gundham) and then hates him for the rest of the game.
But all of that is all behaviour Tenko exhibits towards Himiko. With Angie being the Gundham equivalent here; Angie and Himiko are shown to be pretty close during chapters two and three and Tenko hates her for it. Tenko gets mad when Himiko spends time with Angie, she only joins the student council to ‘protect’ Himiko from Angie!! I recall there’s one point in the second trial where Angie suggests there’s a possibility Himiko could be the culprit and Tenko loses it at her, but like Ryoma died seemingly during Himiko's magic show and if they get this wrong everyone dies so maybe yeah cover all your bases. It’s a death game, of course everyone’s suspicious of each other. If Himiko had been a blackend at some point she could have easily manipulated Tenko into giving her a fake alibi because let’s face it that’s something Tenko would do without question.
However despite the similarities between the two sets of characters, Tenkos actions are oftentimes framed as being incredibly romantic instead of obsessive, entitled, and possessive. I do recognize a lot of that is in part of Tenko dying in the first half of the game and Soda and Sonia both making it to the end, so she doesn’t overstay her welcome in the same way he does, but still.
The other big difference is of course we get to see Himiko react to losing Tenko. And she is in fact very upset by it. But as Kokichi calls her out in the third trial (I don’t often see eye to eye with Kokichi but I have to give him props for this one) it really seems like Himiko only cares about Tenko after she’s dead. Before that Himiko seemed completely uninterested in Tenkos advances and at some points any friendship with her at all. And it’s only after already losing Angie that all this goes down, and I firmly believe if Angie hadn’t died this chapter Himiko would not have reacted so intensely to Tenkos death. Himiko lost both the people she was arguably closest to in one fell swoop and she reacted in an understandably extreme way.
But even with all of that, those are points about Himiko’s character, not Tenkos. Himiko gets a lot of character growth in V3 and Tenko isn’t afforded that luxury, so she’s just stuck stagnating in her bad character.
This brings us to my last point, Tenko is great in fan works. Every V3 fic I’ve read that features her has had her be a far more enjoyable character then she was in the actual game. Because at its core the issues I’ve listed above aren’t fully character problems, they’re writing problems. If Tenkos behavior towards Himiko had been properly addressed within the story she would have either A: changed her behavior and had an arc about boundaries, or B: stayed exactly as is but the narrative of the story framed it as negative qualities. All the other characters constantly give Soda grief for how he acts towards Sonia (and while it still should have been dialed wayyy back) it’s easier to get through because it’s acknowledged that it’s a problem and is bad.
If Tenko was treated the same way I would not be complaining like this. I’d just ignore that part of her character and work around it (like what I do with Kiyo lol). That’s why Tenko is often so much better in fan works, there’s so many ways to fix things. Changing protags (like keeping Kaede around as I mentioned before) can help endear her to the audience, or just make her hatred of men less in your face if the pov character stays a boy, and then authors can either tone down her negative traits, have Himiko reciprocate any of her feelings (while she’s alive), or recognize it as a bad thing. Doing any one of those three things makes the problems go away almost instantly.
So as I said I’m conflicted on Tenko. I clearly have a lot of thoughts about her, and after working on several au’s that feature her (most notably the v3 remnant au) she’s getting dangerously close to blorbo status I’m not gonna lie, but I still don’t think I can’t actually say that I like her, despite how much I want to.
#enough people said they wanted to see my silly little essay so here it is!#I really would love to like Tenko#and I mean maybe I’ll come to later down the line#I didn’t start out liking Kiyo or Kaito all that much but now they’re blorbos lol#if people end up wanting to hear more of my thoughts on danganrompa stuff lmk cause I have an entire other essay waiting in my google docs#tiktoks made me nervous about like posting opinions#I know y’all are more chill but if this gets a ton of hate I’ll have to delete it which I don’t want to do#tenko chabashira#ndrv3#danganronpa#Em’s Dangan-thoughts#I’ll use that tag for these like essay analysis things#danganronpa killing harmony
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