#does this count as utmv??

[shimmyshimster]

jumpscare!

[kompeitooo]

Loser boy gets found by his enemy after drinking too much juice (he's probably dying)

Ink by @comyet

Error by @loverofpiggies

Here's w the old art too YEAAAA LETS GO PROGRESSSS

[spookuzm]

Utmv stuff I drew today lol

(second image's art style isn't mine btw)

[sunnydayaoe]

Meet Messengerverse!Error!! He's kinda goofy :) -He doesn't really have a name, but he will answer to anything he can even Vaguely associate with himself. He most readily answers to Shrike, or The Butcher Bird though.

-He hates touching the ground, outright refusing to if he has the chance. [He's even crashed from unplanned landings before, he got up & flew away soon after though, similar to a stunned bird :)]

-He loves Outertale still, but not for all the same reasons. He still thinks it's one of the most peaceful AUs, but he also enjoys how little it feels like standing on the ground. Sitting around the flouting meteors of Outertale, it hardly feels like he's on the ground at all.

-He doesn't actually fly using his wings, but instead a type of magic that his wings help with. He still looks a bit goofy in the air though.

-His coat is big and would drag across the floor if he actually stood on it, he thinks it's fine though, because he doesn't plan on getting close enough for it to be a problem.

-His eyes are worse than even canon Error's, he can barely see three feet in front of his face, and he constantly has to wear his glasses. If he lost them well. . . Goofy stuff can happen haha.

-His wings are based on both Northern Jacana and Shrike, though more Northern Jacana, both for color and the spurs. These birds actually have spires!! It's fun :)

[orbital-inclination]

probably the most Fresh!Sans you will ever see from me.

[sandeewithtwoe]

Immortal

Inktobertale Day 13! If Ink can hold a pen, he can and will get back up!!

Ink belongs to comyet/myebi

[fandomsoda]

Ink perching on XGaster’s obnoxiously large shoulder pads is my favorite thing btw, if you even care

This has never happened in canon, I have not seen any art of this yet, but for some reason this is something my brain just automatically does. You can’t tell me he doesn’t actually do this, though.

[bunningchaos]

A promise.

Nightmare/Dream belongs to jokublog, on Tumblr!

[neos-nero]

* SANESSS AFFIRMS YOUR GENDER

I made this for trans day of visibility and I felt silly

[emeraldhazeidentity]

I was drawing this pose of Killer, and I was reminded of his introduction in Chapter 3 of Hireath by @owl-bones

Killer belongs to @/RahafWabas

[vixpunix]

they never leave my brain so have some doodles

reaper had to have found geno some way. so I propose geno wished to be splat and reaper heard his cry

not sure if he was very happy abt it, but at least he has someone to talk to now

[ancientschampionau]

RealAgeAU drabble - again

Hello I am back and I got another idea for this little silly au that I have @spotaus to thank for for the original idea :3 Though I think this may be officially becoming one of my AUs hahahaha First part Prev Part Next part

Also yes. I know it would work better to number these uploads but also i am not writing these in any set order so it will become miserable for all of us if i number them because either they will be out of order or I will have to rework all the names and I am already editing links I don't need that extra energy in my life.

ANYWAY! :D

Next part! The one I lovingly clal in my head - The one where the gang finds a more permanent temporary home. (also yes. Before this they all speed-run the whole Parental bonding and emotional bonding to the idea of having a babybones. Which honestly can and probably will make four different drabbles)

-------

Horror stares at the door and wonders once again how he got to this point.

Well, no. That is a lie. He knows exactly how he got to his point.

He glances over his shoulder where the other four at hiding off to the side. Out of view from the doorway but still visable for Horror if he looks just right. Seems like Dust won the discussion, again, and is holding Nightmare, again.

Horror wants to say it is surprising how quickly they all just... accepted the situation they got into but he really isn't. Monsters are weird like that. Forced adoption is not that wild all things considered when you are talking about beings made of magic and emotions.

Horror stares at the door and raises his hand before knocking twice.

He really hadn't wanted to do this but they have no other choice. As he waits he can't help but think back to what made them decide this.

Cross walks from side to side "That was way to close! That was the third time we came across the Stars with Nightmare out. Third!"

Killer nods from where he is sitting wiht the sleeping Nightmare in his lap "Yeah no kidding. It is annoying as shit that they are hunting us."

Dust shrugs "Not surprising. Nightmare 'disappeared' after all. We are their only lead."

Killer grins "We were lucky Cross managed to lie his way out of the last one." and he shoots Cross a wink.

Cross sputters "I panicked!"

Killer grins and winks "Sure sure daddy crossy."

Horror holds up his hands between his two... co-parents "This is not the time. We need to figure out where we can go." and he thinks things over.

Cross sighs "I don't get how they keep finding us!"

Dust huffs as he packs their bags "We go to too little universes. Makes it easy for Ink and Dream to pick us out because they recognise us personally."

Killer frowns "Meaning. we need a big universe?" he taps his chin "But also mostly positive as we still don't know how obvious Nightmare would be otherwise."

Cross frowns "I think it will be fine. He can't feel the balance anymore right? And no one seems to have a reaction to him like they had before nor how people have a reaction to Dream's aura thing. Maybe with the corruption gone he really is just... ex-guardian now?"

Killer groans "I hope so. I am not a fan of child labor."

That is when it hits him. Horror sits up "I think I know a place."

All of them turn to him and he immediantly regrets saying anything. See? This is why he normally tries to limit what he says.

Either way. Here they are now and Horror prays this works. Please. They need one thing to work in their favor.

The door opens and a gasp "Horror! It has been ages! It is great to see you. How have you been?" Crop smiles at him.

Horror steels his nerves. Come on. Too much hangs on this moment "Hey Crop. Nice to see you. I am... okay. How are you?"

Crop frowns at him instantly "You sure? You don't sound okay. Trouble at home?"

Horror chuckles "Kinda? Not exactly. Euh... Can't go back to that place now?"

Crop frowns "Why? Need a place to stay? I got a spare room."

Okay yes! this is going great! just... gotta make sure he knows.

Horror nods "I do need a room. Not just for me though..." Crop starts to frown and Horror raises his hands "Just temporarily!"

Crop frowns "Did... something go wrong?"

Horror pauses and thinks this through once more. He trusts Crop. Crop has never been anything but kind even when Horror had been an ass. Even when he had to once drag Dust here to get healing before they could make the jump back home.

Horror looks to the side and he sees the others just beyond the treeline, hidden in shadows and waiting. Crop takes a look as well but he can't quite spot them. Crop looks back up at him.

Horror takes a deep breath "You need... to promise me, no not just promise you need to swear. That what you are about to learn will not leave this universe."

Crop frowns as he immediantly looks uncomfortable. It is the reaction a promise gets from most of them. But Crop also shoots him a considering look before he nods. He holds out a hand "I swear and promise I will not share the about to be giving information. UNLESS! It endangers anyone." and he waits.

Horror stares at the hand and thinks. That... That is fine right? That should be fine. Nightmare being a child doesn't endanger anyone. Only them and Nightmare. Horror nods and shakes the hand.

Crop nods and steps aside "Come inside. I bet you will be more comfortable explaining there." he glances at the forest "Do your... friends? Want to come in too?" a guess clearly. probably on multiple fronts.

Horror shakes his skull "Not yet. Need to know your answer and reaction first." He turns to the forest and makes a signal to wait a bit longer. He sees a thumbs up shot his way back. Probably Killer. He never bothered with the signals they had learned together.

Crop nods as he steps aside and Horror walks in, having to duck slightly for the door. The door closes behind him and Horror sees the small living room with fireplace.

Crop leads him to the kitchen "Lets talk there. I will get some tea."

A few minutes later they are both seated and with a cup of tea. Crop looks at him expectingly.

Horror takes a deep breath and takes out their most valuable resourch. The Dreamtale book. And places it on the table. Crop frowns at it before looking at Horror.

Horror nods to it "It will help explain... Very long story short... Nightmare was never an adult. He was a child with a magical shield of some type. That magic has ran out."

Crop stares at him for a moment, then he pulls the book closer and starts reading it. He pauses at the title before opening it.

And now he waits.

---------

Crop sits wiht his skull in his hands. Horror just sits across from him, with his empty cup of tea. Crop's own cup has grown cold a long time ago. Horror just waits for anymore questions but Crop hasn't said anyhting in the last ten minutes.

Horror looks back at the book and sees that Crop has turned the pages back to the one with the drawing of Nightmare's head being cracked open. The image makes a very clear show on how small Nightmare was compared to the ones attacking him.

Horror still thinks the book doesn't do it justice. Nightmare is much smaller in person than the picture makes him seem. The cracks had been much worse than the picture showed. But it is the closest they got.

Crop finally sighs and speaks. He doesn't look away from the picture "I don't... Know a lot about this whole... multiverse stuff. It isn't my place at all. And that is fine." he pauses for a moment "But this... You are telling me... That the one being that had everyone afraid. That everyone saw as a demon. Is a child... is this child?"

Horror nods before he explains more "Nightmare... gained a lot of magic and powers when he ate those apples. At least that is what the story implied. We haven't managed to get him to tell us yet, mostly because well... he is six again." Crops pulls a face as well, yeah. Horror agrees. A PTSD filled six year old is not easy. But they are managing.

Horror nods "so... What Cross nad Dust think what happened is that... The magic and negativity of the apples bond itself to Nightmare. Which game him the magic and powers he would use. The connection to the balance because the apples were part of the balance. and more importantly, an adult form and mind to fit all the magic. There was just no way all that magic and energy would have fit a babybones. Especially one that hadn't shown much magic beforehand." an assumption on their end as Nightmare was never said to use magic in the book.

"We think... We think that this magic of the apples just. ran out. We had been in battle at the time and Nightmare had been hit but it shouldn't have had that much of an effect. it was the same type of attack he had been hit by before. Dust thinks it was just the last bit of magic that the apples had having run out. Meaning that with the magic and energy so went the form." all a theory of course. But it is the only thing they have.

Crop nods as he clearly thinks "And as he was suddenly an adult. instead of just being afraid and scared. all that pain and emotions took a more violent turn. As he was an adult and was suddenly able to realise that it was unfair which made him angry..." Crop pauses.

Crop glares back at the table and shakes his skull "It is... It is a whole story about victim blaming. A victim is blamed for the abuse they suffered. They are made to believe they deserve it and should be abused. Then as soon as they fight back and defend themselves they are seen as guilty." Crop takes adeep breath as he leans back "What I don't get... Why come here? I can't help with any of this."

Horror shakes his skull "This isn't about any of the big stuff. We don't even care about it. We just... Nightmare is himself again. His real self." he taps the page lightly "Not his aged-up self that the corruption enabled him to be."

Crop stares before his face changes to shock "You are trying to hide him." Then a frown "Why not go to your own home? Has it been compromised?"

Horror snorts "At this point? probably." a confused look and Horror continues "Nightmare used his magic to shield off an universe and make a castle." he shrugs at the glance "Nightmare likes to read. I imagine he liked to read back then too. He may have been an adult technically but he was still a child at soul. Child him wanted a home and wanted that to be a castle and adult him made it happen... probably... that is Killer's theory at the moment."

Crop laughs and nods "Suonds reasonable- oh... and with his magic disappearing."

Horror sighs "When I left his universe the castle had already been decaying..."

Crop frowns "Left? The five of you you mean?"

Horror looks to the side and feels the shame return "We.... we did not react well... when we saw the changes at first... we... we obviously dind't know what was going on and well." he looks down "We abandoned him. I know it was wrong and stupid and we all regret it. We came back but we still did it." shame.

shame shame shame shame shame shame shame-

A hand on his shoulder. Horror glances up and Crop smiles at him "It is okay. You are trying to fix it now right? obviously. Not cool that you abandoned a child... but it can be nerve wrecking. Suddenly going from a position where a person is mostly guiding you, to going to a position where you suddenly are responsible over that same person."

Horror looks to the side "We still left." he can't believe they just left!

Crop nods "But you returned." he grins "And you are trying to fix it."

Horror nods again "We are..." he chuckles "Not that we have been doing a good job at it. Jumping from place to place."

Crop hums "So you are looking to settle, at least for a little bit, while also hidding. Why this universe?"

Horror nods "Yeah..." He looks to the side "We... we don't know how everyone will react. To him being like this. Maybe they will react well. Maybe not. We don't want to risk it. Risk him."

Crop stares at him for a long time and nods "There must be better places?"

Horror shakes his skull "The Stars kept finding us. Dust figured out we needed a big universe that leans towards positive. Yours is one of those. It is one of the wider and bigger ones. And overall leaning towards positive."

Crop frowns "It can't be the best one..."

Horror shrugs but continues "True... there are bigger and more positive ones. But those are busy. Many people. many places. Yours is quieter. more empty. Gives peace and room to work from."

Crop frowns as he taps his chin. He thinks deeply before sighing "You guys got any type of backstory we can use? The multiverse thing isn't a known thing here and the only reason my brother and I know is because you crash landed here."

Horror blinks "You will let us stay?"

Crop nods "Sure." and he grins "Can't kick out four parents with a babybones." and he gets up.

Horrro shakes his skull "That isn't... Well I mean technically." He knows that Killer has come close to killing quite a few people with how protective he has grown over Nightmare and that isn't even including the motherhenning of Cross nor the clinginess that Dust has.

Crop chuckles as he nods towards the stairs "The attic is messy and should be cleaned but can be used by you four, well five. There is an old bed and an old lounge chair up there." more thoughtful "How big is he exactly? we will need some clothes. Probably also get a healer to check him if he is developing okay after all those magical shenanigans."

Horror stares for a moment before smiling "Thank you... I know it is a lot."

Crop shrugs as he opens the linnen closet "Horror. Taking care of milking all the cows on your own is a lot. Having to fix your roof in the middle of a thunderstorm is a lot." He straightens his spine with blankets in his arms "Helping a friend and his friends who have somehow aqcuired a babybones, while strange, does not compare to either of those. Now get your friends out of those woods. They will make the animals nervous." he grins "I am excited to be one of the first ones to meet the real Nightmare."

Horror smiles as he packs his book and goes towards the door. "Thanks again Crop."

Crop waves it off as he moves the piles upstairs.

-------

Boom! and they are staying in FarmTale for now! Horror and Crop are homies and Dust is more of an acquaintance of Crop but it works. Aged-up Nightmare knew that Horror had an universe he liked to visit but never demanded details. *shrugs* Nightmare didn't see the point. as long as horror wasn't going to betray him what did it matter he didn't tell him?

Surprise Nightmare, this is your temporary home now. For a bit. or maybe longer? They are still figuring it out.

First part Prev Part Next part

[sketchingstars03]

Ink!?!?? What are you doing in my ask box????!? On Halloween no less. Sggsdhshshsbsbsbns

That aside, very nice and cute art! Keep it up!

Ink himself is definitely rooting for you!

[zinthefuture60111]

me when ink snas

[billygoat26]

ABOUT ME!!

NOTE: Anything I say that has to do with politics or shit like that is likely to not be entirely true, so if you see that I have said something that is incorrect, PLEASE TELL ME! (Preferably in a nice way? If it’s in a rude way chances are I’ll not accept it as easily.)

Helloooo everybody and welcome back to my Youtu-

Just kiddiiiiing!

As I’m sure you’ve gathered, I am a person who likes to joke around a lot. I also tend to type/write a lot, so instead of making you guys suffer with a whole essay about me, let’s break it all down!

Name/Nickname: BillyGOAT (Elsewhere you might see me as CallMeToes or StillToes. The nickname originated from auto correct, to put it shortly)

Other Accounts: @horrorrrrrrr @vox-does-shit @the-short-king-of-hell-himself

Birthday: February 26th

Fandoms I’m in: Undertale/Underverse, Gravity Falls, TOH (The Owl House), anything to do with Marvel is awesome, Spiderverse (does that count as Marvel anymore?) Honkai: Star Rail, Helluva boss, Hazbin Hotel, The Amazing Digital Circus, Eddsworld, South Park, Sherlock (BBC version)… (This list CAN and probably WILL grow as I either join more or think of more)

What do I do here: Art. Plain and simple. Though there may be some random things I post that have nothing to do with art, I’ll mostly be posting art stuff (Edit: Oh past me, how silly you were... Now I mostly reblog stuff and sometimes rant)

More about me: Jokester, I play the viola, singing is fun when I’m alone lol, I have two cats (Maui and Loki)

I'm currently working on an AU of my own for Undertale called Ambertale. Character designs are a WIP, and once I figure all that out then I’ll work on an official comic! Just… don’t expect it too soon, life is being life and free time is on vacation lately. (Edit: So the comic has just been sitting in my iPad for ages now and I don't wanna continue it right now- might continue it when school decides to not school or when it's summer break. For now, no comic.)

With that, have fun staring at all my random posts!

Tags:

#ambertale reblogs

#ambertale lore

#ambertale side comic

#ambertale asks

#ambertale holidays

#ambertale sans lore

(anything that has to do with amber sans [example: #ambertale sans, #amber!sans, etc.])

#amber sans guide

#Billygoat talks

#ambertale fanart

#antics of billygoat and killer

#incorrect quotes / #incorrect utmv quotes

#politics

(Eventually there will be a comic tag that will be #ambertale comic)

Ambertale Character Designs:

Ambertale Papyrus by rurunyaa

Ambertale Sans by me

Asher reference sheet in progress (I think- updated version anyways)

Ambertale: A Day in the Life of Sans:

Part 1

Part 2 (coming soon)

[annaraebananawriter]

Because I Wanted That Brother

Yellow there everyone! It’s your favorite Dreamtale angst author back at it again with another oneshot centered around Dream Sans and his conflicted feelings over Nightmare being happier with his gang that he was with his own brother. 

This is inspired partly by Dreemurr-Skelememer’s Dreamtale tweets/posts and inspired partly by that one TikTok of Ink and Dream with that one Good Place audio that’s like “Why can’t you accept that [Nightmare’s] living a good life? That he’s changed?” “Because I wanted that Brother!”. You know that TikTok? I’m going to assume your do. If you don’t, I think you still get the idea.

I wrote this all in one sitting, so if there’s any spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes, that’ll be why. But I do genuinely like it and I hope you do as well! Be sure to let me know! 

Happy reading!!

Fandom: Undertale/UTMV

Characters:   Dream, Nightmare (Who belong to Joku), Ink (Who belongs to Comyet), and mentioned Bad Sanses and mentioned Blue (Who belongs to P0pcornPr1nce)

Warnings:  Anxiety, light self-hate, implied abuse from villagers, and I think that’s it. Let me know!

Summary: “While hanging out with Ink, Dream notices Nightmare and his gang hanging out one time outside of battle. He watches them for a bit and has a few realizations during a talk with Ink. (UTMV, Dream Sans Centric)”

Word Count: 3159

~oOo~

Ink had wanted to go to an AU and sketch some things. Blue was busy doing things in his AU, so Dream is the one Ink dragged along on this adventure. He isn’t complaining that much, it was rather relaxing. He was just also tired from working for hours yesterday and had originally planned to use this one rare free nothing-to-do-at-all day he had to sleep. But Ink convinced him to come, and he was glad for it.

They spend a couple of hours roaming around the forest for a couple of specific spots Ink had found a few days ago. Of course, because Ink already forgot how to find them, they get lost a few times, but they do manage to find them after some scouring. Dream dozes off a bit at the first location, and almost does at the second one, mostly wavering between zoning out and sleeping. After the third one, though, they got hungry and they teleport to a different AU for some food, a break before they went to the other AU Ink wanted to sketch in.

Once they get their food, Ink stares at Dream for a bit before silently taking out his sketchbook. He tries to ask what he was drawing, but Ink stays tight-lipped about it. It became apparent what he was drawing after the crown was finished, though, and Dream blushes a bit as he realizes Ink was drawing him.

Ink glances up and smirks at him, shooting him a wink. He rolls his eyes and chuckles. Dream sips at his drink and glances up, immediately making eye contact with Nightmare.

He freezes.

Nightmare freezes as well, eye socket widening slightly. He’s on the other side of the street, with a couple members of his gang. He assumes the other two have gone off somewhere. Maybe to get some food? Like what Ink and he did. The other two members of his gang haven’t noticed them. They stay locked in the staring contest for a minute.

He slowly sets his drink down. He fidgets a bit, warring with himself. A big part of him wants to jump up and run across the street, say hi, and start talking. This is a rare moment where they’re not fighting each other, and clearly not planning to any time soon. He wants to take advantage of it and try and talk to Nighty civically, but what would he even say? It’s been years since they’ve had an entire conversation. What does Nighty even like anymore? Does he still like reading? Can he even start a conversation with a question about reading? Or should he be more generic and talk about the weather first?

He doesn’t know.

But he does know this staring contest is getting awkward fast. Should he go over and say something? It really feels like he should. But he can’t bring himself to. What if Nightmare doesn’t want him to come over? What if he gets mad at him for talking to him like they aren’t enemies? He doesn’t want to be the reason Nighty had a bad day. Maybe he should just look away and pretend he didn’t notice him. But what if that makes him upset? What if he thinks he was annoyed to see him and came over here to confront him about it? He really didn’t want to confront anyone right now.

What to do, what to do…

Before he can make a concrete decision, Nightmare seems to break free of whatever he was thinking and his stare sharpens into a harsh glare. His tentacles flick angrily behind him. Dream flinches and finds his mouth open on its own—what it wants to say he has no clue—and he forces it closed, teeth clicking together. His brother rolls his eyes in annoyance and turns his back on him, tuning in on the conversation Dust and Killer were having.

Dream continues his staring, a guilty taste in his mouth, even though he isn’t exactly sure what he did wrong. A bitter voice in his head tells him he did nothing wrong, that this was purely on Nightmare and his childish feelings. He decides to neither agree nor disagree with it.

Dust mentions something that makes Killer laugh. He smirks and nudges Nightmare in pride. He seems to ask a question. Nightmare rolls his eyes again and sighs, answering. Whatever he said makes the two laugh, hard. They lean against each other as they laugh, and his brother watches them with fondness, shaking his head. His tentacles are the most relaxed he’s ever seen them. He finds himself leaning forward, as if trying to soak in everything he’s seeing. It’s the first time he’s ever seen his brother like this outside of battle. It’s…nice.

It's bittersweet.

There’s that feeling again, the one that says he’s intruding on something, even if he was in the AU first and isn’t with his brother’s group. He wishes he was, though. He wishes the gang didn’t exist and it was just him and Nightmare and Nighty actually liked him. He wishes they were the ones hanging out together, laughing and talking and being brothers and…just, all of that. It’s something he wishes about a lot, and he always feels bad, because he likes the gang and the way they’re his brother’s friends, and clearly he trusts them a lot more than he trusts Dream, and it’s good that he trusts someone. He glad. He is.

He’s just also…not.

He pulls his legs onto the chair, hugging his knees. He can’t seem to look away. There’s a knot in his chest that only worsens when he thinks about it, and so he makes himself keep looking. He must stay like that for a long time.

“They look happy.”

Dream jumps a bit, looking over his shoulder. Ink looks away from Nightmare and his gang and faintly smiles at him, lowering his sketchpad. It looks almost complete. How long had he been staring at his brother, thinking about things he couldn’t change?

He swallows, looking away. “They do.” His gaze is drawn back to them as if hypnotized.

Cross and Killer have returned with nice creams, one for everyone that wanted one. Killer gets a bit too excited and one of them drops to the floor. Cross, who had dropped it because of him, stares at it on the floor in despair. It must’ve been Dust’s because now he’s glaring at Killer and lunges for him before he finishes apologizing. The shriek is heard from where they’re sitting. Before Dust can do anything major, though, Nightmare grabs him around the waist with a tentacle and separates the two.

He seems to be scolding them, handing some money to Horror for a replacement nice cream, but a faint spark of amusement wavers in the air around him. It’s so faint that, with all the other positive emotions around, Dream wouldn’t have usually noticed it. But because he’s watching closely, he picks up on it instantly, and the frown on his face twists into a grimace.

Ink shifts beside him. “You don’t look happy.”

It’s a gentle observation.

It feels like a reprimand.

Dream inhales. He lowers his legs off of the chair and sets his hands in his lap, interlocking his fingers and holding them tightly. “I’m glad that Nighty’s happy. I am. I’m really glad about that,” he says, the words carefully picked and formed.

Ink’s quiet.

They both watch as Horror returns with the fresh nice cream and Dust takes it, hunching over it as if to shield it from Killer, who rolls his eyes and says something that makes Dust glare at him. Killer continues and Dust starts ignoring him, talking with Cross, who seems to be fighting down his laughter. He’s not succeeding very well. Nightmare has taken out his phone and is occupied with that while Horror finally starts enjoying his own nice cream with a content smile.

Ink turns to Dream, tilting his head. “…But?”

Dream looks at him for a moment and looks back to his hands. There’re hundreds of small scars and scratches covering the bone. A far cry from how smooth they used to be when he was a little kid. “…But, I…” he starts, and pauses, sighing. He scrubs his face. “Stars, I hate myself for it, but I-I’m…resentful of the fact that he’s happy without me.” It’s a relief to get the words out. There’s a beat of silence before he continues. “It just…hurts. And I know I can’t change that, and I should really just be happy for him, that’s it, nothing else to it, but I can’t. I just can’t.”

There’s some laughter coming from Nightmare’s table. He wants to look but wills himself not to, which is made harder when he hears the low chuckle of his brother joining in, almost drowned out by the others. His hands twitch, loosening for a moment. He tightens his hold and steadies himself with a breath.

This conversation was steadily veering off into a topic he preferred not to think about too much. It made him feel too many complex emotions that he didn’t want to untangle, even though he’d have to eventually.

And Ink knows this. Dream has explained it briefly before and that was the end of it. They haven’t talked about it since. It was just the combination of being so close to Nightmare, neither of them looking for a fight for once, and just existing in the same universe together and having Ink, his friend that seems to know his emotions better than himself—and that was especially ironic, considering he was one of the two guardians of emotions—with him. This combination seemed to be the perfect reason to start untangling that knot and he tried to keep his hands out of the mess, but it was getting futile.

“How come?” Ink asks, looking back at the table. He seems to have abandoned his sketchpad for now, leaving it lying open on the table, Dream’s portrait staring blankly up at nothing. “He looks really happy over there. He’s even laughing at something one of his boys said. He’s smiling. He seems to have some good friends and is one himself. Heck, he might even be a good parent to them. You’ve seen how they act together during fights. He clearly loves them and they love him.”

With each fact Ink lists, the tighter his grip becomes until his fingers start going numb. He forces himself to let go and rubs his hands on his pants, getting the tingling sensation out.

Ink looks back at him, a knowing look in his eyes. “Why can’t you accept that?”

And there it was, the golden question.

Dream inhales again, sharply, and there’s a croak of something that wants to resemble words. He clears his throat and tries again. “Because—” he bites down on the word quickly, realizing it came out too loud. A few people around them glance over in question and he waits until they lose interest to continue, lowering his voice. He forces it to remain steady; at least, he tries to. “Because I wanted that! I-I wanted this version of my brother that freely expresses himself. The version that loves and smiles and laughs and is happy. But he wasn’t like that with me. He used to, but then those smiles and laughs grew rarer and I didn’t even notice until it was too late.”

The truth seems to come out fast now that his wall has cracked. He closes his eyes, shaking his head. His chest is tight. Something in him is reeling from the words coming out of him, as if they were being said by a stranger and revealing something it didn’t want to ever be true and knows is true.

He wants to stop talking and yet he doesn’t. It’s shameful, but it’s relieving to say all of this. And Ink, the bastard he is, seems to know this, as he keeps quiet and listens without judgement. What has Dream ever done to deserve a friend like this? It’s so unfair.

He takes a breath. “And then, hundreds of years later, I can’t go anywhere near my brother without him glaring at me and insulting me and-and it—” He scowls to himself, reworking things. He wants to say all of this before anything else breaks or builds and he finds himself feeling things he shouldn’t be feeling so close to his brother, who would no doubt sense it. “I wanted the brother that cares for me, the one that I care for. And because I never got that, seeing him act this way with pretty much strangers, it just feels…it feels like I was never worth changing for. I was never worth healing for and growing for. I was never…”

Something blurs his vision and he blinks, words dying off. He hastily wipes at his eyes and there’s a screech of a chair being moved roughly, arms wrapping around him without a word. In gratitude, he buries his head in Ink’s shoulder and takes a moment to steady his thoughts, regaining his grip on his soul and any unnecessary feelings.

Dream’s mind seems adamant on taking him back to the first few years out of his stone prison, when he was constantly being overwhelmed by the changes in environment and people and, well, really just everything. He was far more unstable then, confused and frustrated over not understanding anything and having to actively fight his brother without holding back, pressure from everyone around him to adapt fast and learn and just accept things already. It had taken years until he was taught by Ink to not let them see him break down, to hide when he didn’t get something, whether that be the latest piece of technology or meme or whatever, and to go along with everything, regardless of how he felt. He had taken the advice with a grain of salt, knowing it was easier for Ink than it would be for him, but he still found it to be the best advice he’d received because it actually helped.

He was looking back and cringing on a few of his moments of cluelessness, but he was mostly focused on how he observed his brother in battle, the way he grew to learn about how his brother changed while defending himself from tentacles aimed for his soul. It had started with an offhanded comment from Dust, something said in the middle of the casual conversation he usually had with Killer and Horror, and Nightmare immediately honed in and scolded him for it, and the words were almost exactly the same as a moment from their past, except that one had Dream on the receiving end of the scolding, not an observer. Watching that happen, seeing how Dust snorted and waved him off with another remark, something so similar to what he used to do, made him feel like an intruder.

And wasn’t that an odd feeling, to feel like an intruder while watching your brother act like he used to with someone that wasn’t you? It happened more and more and every time he felt like he was being replaced, slowly being written out of Nighty’s memories and turned into a stranger who was nothing but an enemy. He could do nothing about it, either, just hold his bow tighter and shove down the feeling.

In the numerous fights since then, the feeling has only gotten worse. The gang is notorious for joking and conversing while fighting. So many of the conversations and their dynamics with Nighty get too familiar. And it’s even worse when you remember that he can feel how fond his brother is of their antics; the hint of nostalgia mixed in there feels like a slap on the face.

Ink starts to pull away and he lets him, exhaling slowly. He makes the mistake of glancing away and meets Nightmare’s gaze, whose eyelight was fixed on their table, a frown on his face, though Dream knew he was more confused than worried. He quickly looked back at Ink, choosing to ignore it.

He continues.

“If Nightmare had already begun to heal from the villagers in our AU while I was trapped in stone, and if he never thought about me once during that whole time, and if he is in a good place now…it means that I made mistakes that I can never be forgiven for. It means that the mistakes I berate myself for, that everything I shame myself for is true. I’m not a good brother and I need to be more aware of my friends, and catch when something is wrong before they even realize it. Because if I don’t, and if the past repeats itself, then something is fundamentally wrong with me and I can’t change that.”

And if Nightmare is better off with his gang, if that’s truly what was always meant to happen, Dream can’t help but be angry at that. Because why? What has the gang done to deserve his brother? Why do they get to have the loving, content version of Nightmare while he, his own brother, the one he grew up with and survived the village with, gets nothing but hostility? What has he done to condemn himself to this loneliness while they get to frolic and be happy together?

It's not fair. It just wasn’t.

Dream isn’t claiming to be a good person. He’s made mistakes, bad ones, ones he’ll always regret. But doesn’t he deserve to try and make things right with his brother? Doesn’t he deserve the chance to say sorry and not have Nightmare scoff in his face and tell him he’s lying? It wasn’t like Nightmare never hurt him. They’ve both hurt each other. They deserve the chance to heal and grow and continue being brothers, this time with a better understanding of one another.

He misses Nightmare so much that it hurts. He’s only been out of stone for a small fraction of the time that his brother has had to get used to being without him. He understands that Nighty won’t feel this way to the extent that it feels like he’s missing a limb, but Dream does. It’s a shade lighter from how it started, but it’s still obvious in the way he acts and the way he thinks. It’ll probably stay that way for a long, long time, and during then, his brother will only drift further away from him, living his best life without him.

Without Dream.

“If Nightmare has truly changed, that means he was always capable of change. And that means I was just never worth changing for.” Dream swallows, meeting Ink’s gaze. His friend looks sympathetic. He appreciates it, even if it’s for something Ink will never truly understand. “And that hurts, Ink. It just hurts.”