#does this make ANY sense is anyone reading this. hello. where am i. what is this place.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

i see a lot of interpretations of zor being this otherworldly, anomalous presence- larger than life, practically non-human. and i, too, like perceiving zor through this veil of anonymity. i think making them too tangible or perceivable really detracts from what's been established about their character.

but, i personally really, really like the thought of zor being human. mortal. but terrifying to the point where you'd be forgiven for forgetting it.

i think one of the things that i adored about ieytd before the third game dropped (and honestly made me a little disappointed when it was changed later on) was the fact that the agency never had a face. it just... was what it was. it had facets- granted, the EOD was always the only one of any relevance. but, really, think about what we know about the agency between all three games. compare that to how much we know about zoraxis.

there's something really appealing to me about zor being who they are... they're probably the most wealthiest person on earth. they had a monopoly that quite literally gripped the world in their first- as their emblem would suggest. they hire some of the most lethal minds in the world- chemists, inventors, engineers.

and yet... despite it all, they're just one person. to me, their anonymity is a shield against the fact they are a person. they hide behind the lethality and prowess of their elite operatives- not to mention we've seen how clever they can be when it came to manipulating prism. they're by no means useless.

but what would they be without their anonymity? what would they be without the weapons they didn't design, the lairs they didn't build, the employees they use as human shields? the second zor is gone, zoraxis crumbles. they are the support pillar of their entire corporation.

... but what's the agency's equivalent? even post morales being a character, can we be certain that he's the glue holding the entire organization together?

think about zoraxis' most lethal schemes. seizing control of the world's atomic weaponry. striking targets anywhere on earth's surface with a giant laser. exploding the brain of every telekinetic agent on the planet. are they really seeking to cause as much damage as possible- to the agency specifically, collateral, or otherwise?

or do they not know where to strike. zor's tactic- for as high the stakes have been escalating- has always carried a similar motif. cleave and strike indiscriminately until the threat is neutralized.

but it never works. zor is lashing at a hydra- sprouting new heads where the old ones have been lopped off. they don't seem aware of how to destroy the agency other than exterminating each and every one of them off the face of the earth, in whatever way is most convenient at the moment.

i just think there's something to be said about zoraxis- and by extension, zor- always being seen as this oppressive, near-otherworldly force, constantly applying pressure on phoenix... when for all we know, zoraxis could be perceiving the agency in the exact same light.

zor, ultimately, has one beating heart. the agency has thousands. and all of them are dispensable.

[cuubism]

At first Hob isn't even sure the shop is open. The tiny door inset above a few steps, the utter lack of welcoming signage, the windows packed with unlabelled stacks of books--it doesn't exactly scream come in and buy something. As Hob steps up to the door, he really expects it to be locked, or for a sign to fall from the ceiling reading, abandon all hope here, mortal.

But the door to the bookshop--the name of which he's yet to determine, again with the utter lack of signage thing--just swings open at his touch, and he steps into a narrow hallway made entirely of--of course!--books.

Dust rises from the rug as he carefully makes his way deeper into the meandering corridors. The lightbulbs overhead are dim and in desperate need of replacement. The stacks are teetering and untouched. If he learned the place had been sitting here on this winding side street, exactly the same, for the past seven hundred years, he wouldn't be at all surprised.

And now Hob's marring its mysterious mausoleum aura by opening a jaunty modern coffee shop across the street.

Whoops.

Hence why he's bringing a peace offering before he accidentally starts a war over noise or crowds or god knows what else. Most places would probably be happy about increased foot traffic, but that's not the sense he's getting here.

This is all, of course, assuming he does find an owner, and not just a skeleton manning a till somewhere in this place long gone dark.

Hob doesn't find any customers. He does find several interesting-looking side hallways labelled things like, ~ the occult ~ , Oneiromancy, and "falconry -- advanced" and has to drag himself back into focus because the only thing worse than starting a turf war with a mysterious bookstore owner on his cafe's opening day is accidentally spilling the coffee he's brought--as a peace offering!--all over some ancient magical text.

"Hello?" he calls, finally giving up on the creeping about. "Anyone there?"

No answer. All Hob finds is a rickety set of stairs leading up the next level. So he ascends.

At the top is an even more cluttered room of books. This time in disorganized, unlabelled stacks on every surface. Waiting to be shelved, maybe? And in the center of it all, sitting cross-legged on the floor with several of these books spread out in a confusing array before him, is who Hob can only presume to be the owner.

An owner who is not dead, nor ancient and decrepit as Hob had kind of been picturing. Definitely not decrepit at all. Oohhhh dear.

The lithe, dark-haired, fey thing that is the owner tapes a note inside another book and says, in a distracted tone, "Can I help you?"

"Uh," says Hob, because he came here on a mission but he's gotten really turned around, "do you drink coffee?"

This gets him a raised eyebrow, but the shop owner does turn to look at him, staring up from his position on the floor. Christ he's pretty, spectacles and all. If there is a battle over street noise levels, Hob's going to lose by dint of caving automatically to those eyes. Pathetic.

The bookstore owner looks at the coffee in Hob's hand, then back at Hob's face. "Why?"

Hob thrusts the cup in his direction. "Here."

The owner looks alarmed now, but takes the cup, gingerly, peering at it as if he thinks Hob might have given him pureed nightshade instead. "Why?" he repeats, and then, because apparently his level of self-preservation doesn't extend to things like not drinking random shit thrust at him by strangers, takes a sip, and hums in appreciation.

"I-- fuck, sorry--" Hob sits down on the floor, which only makes him look more like a maniac to be honest-- "I just-- I just opened across the street? The cafe? So I just wanted to say hi and-- holy shit, is your name actually Dream? Were you a stripper in another life or something?"

This because he's finally spotted a tiny nametag pin on the bookstore owner's cardigan-- a cat curled around a book where the cover reads, I am Dream.

"Yes," says Dream, and Hob has no idea if that's in response to the first question, the second, or both. Both is terrifying to think about. As is the fact that Hob even asked that. "The cafe, you said?"

"Mmhmm," Hob agrees, cheeks burning. Oh, he's making a right mess of this, all right.

"Hmm," says Dream, peering at him over the coffee cup. This indicates nothing to Hob about how he feels about the cafe situation.

"I just worried that more noise and stuff might bother you," Hob rushes to explain. "You seem. To. You know. Like your quiet. Is all."

"It is my understanding that cafes and bookstores frequently have symbiotic relationships," says Dream evenly, though he's still watching Hob with unnerving intensity.

Well. That was easy. Maybe Hob was just worrying over nothing. Wanting to be liked when it wouldn't have been an issue.

"Alright," he says, letting out a breath. "Well. Good!"

"Good," echoes Dream, with a tiny, wry smile.

"What is this place anyway? I've seen no signage whatsoever."

"It's called The Library," Dream says.

Hob waits for him to explain. He doesn't. "Um, but... isn't it a shop?"

Dream raises an unimpressed eyebrow. "And?"

"So..." Hob says, "it's not a library."

"Purchasing something is but extended borrowing from the universe," says Dream, like that makes any sense at all.

But Hob decides there's other things he'd rather do with a pretty goth bookstore/library/whatever owner than argue semantics. "What do you carry, then?"

Now Dream preens like a cat. "The Library contains every book in print."

Now it's Hob's turn to raise an eyebrow. "That seems... unlikely? Impossible?"

Dream's self-satisfied little smile doesn't fade. "You are welcome to browse the stacks and let me know if there is anything you cannot find."

And, well, it's true that Hob didn't really get a sense of just how far back this place goes. It looks small from the street, but he's already wandered pretty far in just to find Dream, and has yet to reach a back wall.

"I will definitely have to come back," he agrees. And get lost. Definitely get lost. He's not even sure he can find his way out. He'll probably get swallowed up in Oneiromancy.

"In return I will be sure to visit your cafe," says Dream. He says it so strangely, like crossing into a foreign land. I will be sure to visit your court. "Are you open late?"

"On Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, yup," says Hob.

"Excellent." Dream inclines his head imperiously to Hob. "Thank you. For the coffee."

Hob figures he should let him get back to his labeling. He has plenty of his own work, too.

"Yeah, sure, any time. Good to meet you, Dream."

And then he scurries away before he can make it any weirder, makes his meandering way out of "The Library," and doesn't get lost in Oneiromancy.

This time.

--

The following night, Hob looks up from the till to find Dream standing across the counter from him. He looks much the same as before, with the addition of a long dark coat over his clothes, and no reading glasses this time. He offers Hob a tiny smile. "Hob Gadling."

Gosh, he looks, if possible, even prettier in the warm lighting of the cafe than in the darkness of his shop. Though to be honest, Hob had half-convinced himself he'd hallucinated Dream's existence. He hasn't seen anyone go in or out of the shop since.

"Dream," he greets, with a smile. "Anything I can get for you?"

"It is I who have something for you." He hands Hob what must be a book, though it's wrapped in brown paper. "Consider it a return gift. Or perhaps. A welcome."

And before Hob can even ask if he wants coffee or something, if he wants to sit down, he slips back out through the crowd and onto the street like a vapor, and then he's gone.

Hob tears open the paper. And then stares at the book in astonishment.

It's the book. Everyone has one. The book once read but since forgotten in the shuffle of time; title, author, too vague in recollection to pin down. Unsearchable. Never found, for all that the heart of the story might have lodged its way in somewhere deep.

It's one of those books that he remembers in blistering detail now that it's in his hands, that he read in uni but couldn't have found for the life of him on his own, and Dream's just handed it to him over the counter of his cafe.

He runs his fingertip over the midnight blue cover, the embossed lettering. In Search of Nightingales. And it's only as he looks up again at the hidden shop across the street, that he realizes he never told Dream his name, either.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, F - For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Hello, I'm back with part 6. Sorry it's been a bit of a wait, life gets in the way and makes it hard to write, but here's the next part. I honestly don't know how many chapters this will have because I'm really enjoying writing it, so hey ho, I might even just make this one small fic series of many ideas' I currently have in my head :)

I don't know if this chapter does make much sense at all and non of it's been proof read again, so it could be a bit all over the place but please let me know what you think!

Thank you for all the ongoing support so far, it's overwhelming to see how much that you all love this, and it gives me motivation to continue to write!

My asks are open for anyone to drop me an any ideas' on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)

You're progressing well to get better and you're slowly returning to usual happy, self chaotic self.

TW: angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"So, what's the food in this place like then?" Kyra broke the silence in the room, where all the girls were all crowded in as they came to visit you in the pysch ward of the hospital during the visiting hours.

It had been 46 hours since you had been detained, 46 hours since you all but shouted at Leah that you hated her.

You really did regret it.

You didn't actually mean that though, and you had been feeling terrible about it ever since the words escaped your mouth.

"Seriously, Kyra?" Steph stares at the younger Australian in disbelief.

"What? I'm just trying to make conversation here" Kyra replies, shrugging her shoulders.

Caitlin can't help but snort. "And you decide to start with asking what the foods' like?" she teases the twenty-one-year-old.

"Yeah, cos' I've heard that hopsital food is disgusting and all" Kyra remarks to the older girl, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Very mature" Steph rolls her eyes at the two of them.

"So, what is the food like then?" Vic asks, peeking interest to know the answer.

"Terrible, I think that even Leahs' cooking might be better than what they're serving on the menu here" You can't help but grin cheekily.

"Ouch it must be bad then" Beth joins in with the joke.

"You'd better not let her hear you say outloud or I think she'd been offended" Viv tells you as she can't help but smile slightly, just happy to see you slowly returning to your old self.

"So, she didn't come with you guys then?" You ask as you pull at the sleeves of the hoodie you currently had on.

You don't miss the look that all the girls share with one another. You weren't an idiot to know something was going on.

"Just tell me what's going on" You stare at them all, trying to get an answer out of them.

"She's outside in the waiting room with Lia" Jen admits, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh" Your smile falters at the disappointing news.

"She wanted to come in with us Y/N but it was hard for her" Beth explains on behlf of the blonde, who you miss terribley. "I'm sure when she's ready, she'll come and see you" she adds, trying to keep the hope alive.

You really had messed up with what you said, you doubt that she would want to visit you, nor would she want you to come back to the flat where you lived with her.

"Oh uh, well then that's okay I guess, I mean I don't blame her for not coming cos' what I said was horrible and stuff" You make up an excuse as you find sudden interest with the floor beneath you.

"It's not your fault for being angry, Y/N" Katie pats you on the shoulder.

"How're you feeling now?" Alessia asks, concerned as a way to try and change the subject.

"Is this your way of subtly asking me if I'm going to try and attempt to kill myself again?" You glance around at all of the girls' faces in the room.

"Y/N" Kim shoots you a disapproving look.

"The answers no by the way" You mumble quietly.

"Y/N" Kim repeats again, a bit louder.

"What? You know I like to make dark humour jokes in this type of situation. It's just a coping mechanism" You tell your captain as you hold your hands up in mock-surrender, who continues to look at you with a certain look that makes you back down straightaway. "Alright, okay, I'll tone it down with the death jokes" You mumble, slouching further down in your seat.

"How's she been doing?" Leah stands in the reception area of the hospital and fumbles with her hands, as she speaks to one of the doctors.

"Y/N has making good progress. I think another day or so and she'll be ready to come home" The doctor explains with a kind smile.

"That's great news" Lia says, smiling as she glances at the blonde for her reaction.

Leahs' eyes widen in surprise and smiles slightly. "Yeah, that's good to hear. I'm proud of her making so much progress in such a short space of time" she tells the doctor.

"It is, Y/N/N has really thrown herself into trying to get better, the therapy sessions seem to be going well too" The doctor tells them honestly. "Are you going to go and see her? I'm sure that she'd love to see you" she adds.

The blondes feels apprehensive, her eyes dart over in the direction of where the doors led to the psych ward, where you would be with the rest of the girls that had all visited.

Leah had wanted to as well, she just couldn't find the courage to actually take the steps and dipped out at the last minute.

"I hate you, Leah" The words that you shouted at her, played in her head on a constant loop.

"Uh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if she's going to want to see me" Leah confesses, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Le, you don't know that" Lia squeezes the blondes' shoulder gently as she tries to reassure her.

"I know that she hates me, Wally. You heard what she said before" Leah replies quietly, shaking her head as she takes another glance towards the doors.

"You know that she didn't mean that, Le. You know she is just a kid with a lot of feelings sometimes" Lia tells the blonde, smiling at her.

Leah looks a bit more apprehensive as she shakes her head. "There was so much hatred in her voice when she said, it felt like she did mean it" she disagrees with her.

"She was angry the other day though, Le and you even said that yourself" Lia reminds the younger girl.

Leah hums as she bites her bottom lip "But what if she doesn't want to see me? I know she's going to be angry with me for leaving her here in this place" she admits to the older girl.

"She's been asking for you every day since she has been here" The doctor pipes in, gently smiling at the two girls.

"Really?" Leah asks, blinking in slight surprise.

"Yes, Y/N has told me about the visits from all of the girls but the only person she mentioned that she actually wants to see is you, Leah" The doctor tells the blonde.

"See?" Lia smiles at Leah and sqeeuzes her shoulder. "I told you that I don't think Y/N could ever hate you or be angry, you know that, Le" she insists.

"I know" Leah bites her bottom lip anxiously, taking another glance at the door ahead. "I just can't help but feel horrible for making the decision and I'm weary incase she resents me for it" she admits, quietly.

The doctor frowns at them both. "I know it must have been hard to be the one to make that call but it was for the right one to give her the best possible chance to get better" They explain.

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for this, Le. It's what was needed" Lia repeats the doctors words, so to speak.

"Yeah, yeah I know" Leah admits, pulling at the sleeves of her hoodie that she had on.

"You're nervous to see her?" The doctor asks, making the brief observation.

Leah can't help but snort slightly. "That obvious?" she jokes.

"I've been in this job for a while now, it's easy enough to pick up on things like this" The doctor chuckles amusedly. "Regardless of what may have been said, I have a feeling that Y/N will be happy enough to see you" They add in.

"SNAP" You scream loudly as you slam your hand down on the deck of cards that are on the table. "HA! I win!" You cheer in glee.

Kyra let's out a irritated huff while she glares at you. "Why are you so vicious with this game?" she asks.

"I want to win" You smirk and stick your tongue out at her, pulling the deck of cards towards you.

"Kyra, you're literally losing a child" Vic chips in, watching the game amusedly.

"Said child is a menace" Kyra mumbles as she pouts.

"Sucks to be a loser" You can't help but quip as you reshuffle the deck of cards in your hand.

"Room for a couple more visitors?" Leah pokes her head round the door and braces herself for your initial reaction to seeing her.

"LE!" You dart up from your seat and run to the blonde, abandoning the game of cards completely.

All feelings of anger had been swept aside as you were just happy to see her in the room. You thought you'd blown it when you told her that you hated her.

"Hi bubs" Leah instantly embraces you in her arms and kisses the top of your hair. "I've missed you, Y/N/N. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you" she apologises.

"S' okay, you're here now" You mumble, burying her head in her chest as you refuse to let go off her.

"Oi I'm here too, you know" Lia jokes playfully, knowing that you would want that moment with just the blonde.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi Wally" You grin cheekily at the older girl before you turn back towards the older blonde girl. "I'm sorry for what I said cos' I didn't mean what I said about hating you, I was angry and upset and I really don't hate you I promise!" You tell her honestly.

"It's okay bubs, I know you were upset and didn't mean it" Leah smiles as she squeezes you a bit more tighter than before, being careful in case she caught any of your bandages on your arms.

Moving to sit down on the now vacant chair, Leah plonks you down on her lap as she keeps her arms wrapped around you tightly since it was apparent you weren't going to let go any time soon but she was okay with how clingy you was after she hadn't seen you in a few days.

"Whats' been going on here then?" Lia looks towards the game that was previously being played.

"We were playing cards, but Kyras' being proper salty because she's loosing now" You grin, sticking your tongue out at the Australian girl.

"How do you even loose at that game?" Steph wonders.

"I didn't know you could even loose at snap" Beth chuckles, amusedly.

"Apparently so" Jen jokes, joining in with the two of them.

Leah can't help but laugh amusedly as she runs her fingers through your hair. "The doctor said that you're making good progress" she tells you.

"Mhm" You mumble, resting your head on her shoulder.

"That's good news!" Vic overhears the conversation as she smiles at you.

"Yeah, that means you'll be able to come home soon enough" Alessia pipes in.

Katie can't help but scoff. "She should've never been here in the first place" she sneers in the direction where Leah is sat.

"Katie" Kim glares at the Irish girl.

"What? It's true!" Katie exclaims in outrage, not backing down from glaring at the blonde. "You and I both know it, we all do! She should've never been here, she should have been at home with people that care about her" she insists.

"It's what was best for her" Leah fires back just as quick.

"Was it?" Katie scowls at her.

"Can you guys please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" You huff and glance between the two older girls.

"Sorry kid" Katie apologises.

"Sorry bubs" Leah apologises.

"Hey, Y/N/N, it'll be good that you're getting out of hospital soon enough now" Kyra slyly grins at you, looking forward to the pair of you being able to cause mischief in no time.

"Yeah, partners in crime reunited again" You grin at the Aussie girl.

"No, no! Absolutely not!" Steph protests, shaking her head. "It took me at least a week to get the ketchup of the ceiling after the last stunt that you two idiots pulled" She adds.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You try to act innocent as you slyly smirk at Kyra.

"Oh, really? So the baking soda just happened to find it's way inside the ketchup bottle, did it?" Steph narrows her eyes' in the direction of the two of you.

"Maybe" Kyra can't help the shit eating grin on her face.

"I know that look, the pair of you are definitely going to be up to no good" Viv shakes her head.

Jen chuckles in amusement. "You two willl definitely be under a careful watch now incase the next prank gets out of hand" She notes.

"Sure, cos' I'm not going to already be watched like a hawk now anyways, right?" You remark sarcastically, peering up at the older blonde.

"What do you think?" Leah replies back, raising one of her eyebrows.

"You can relax, Le. I'm not going to attempt to kill myself again any time soon" You joke, not realising that now probably isn't the best time to make any type of comment like that.

"Y/N" Kim and Leah both scold you at the same time.

You huff when you realise the pair of them are already ganging up on you and remember that being the baby of the team definitely sucks sometimes.

"What? I'm just saying, I'm not gonna, well unless Leah attempts to try and cook dinner again then it's an easy way out-- Ow! What the fuck?" You continue to make jokes about the situation at hand, jolting in shock when you feel a light pinch on your thigh from said blonde you are sat on.

"Language" Leah states sternly, giving you one of her famous glares.

"That was mean of you to do that! Too soon to make jokes about it then?" You pout and rub your thigh to try and relieve some of the pain. "Yep got it" You add, smiling innocently at the blonde.

"So, I thought you weren't going to come in because it was hard for you?" Katie scoffs at the blonde, deciding to bring the subject up now that you were out of the room, having gone to grab a drink with Jen, Steph and Beth.

"Katie" Viv glances at Katie and exhales a sigh.

"It has been hard Katie" Leah admits, biting her bottom lip.

Katie scoffs again. "Oh? I'm sorry, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you, Leah" she deadpans.

"You don't know how hard it has been, Katie!" Leah shouts loud around the room, attracting a few looks in her direction.

"Wonderful" Steph speaks up first, exhaling a sigh.

"Not again" Beth mumbles, shaking her head.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" You huff as you walk back towards the room with Jen as you can hear the raised voices from the two girls, who weren't seeing eye to eye now

"I think so" Jen agrees.

"Fantastic" You mumble, slowly walking back into the room.

"Oh? And how do you think it's been for Y/N/N? You made the decision to keep her in here!" Katie continues to argue with the blonde, not afraid to be open about her feelings. "You haven't even visited her once while she's been here" she adds.

The Irish girl really hadn't been happy with the whole decision that had been made but there was nothing that she could do herself to stop it from happening.

It had left a tense atmosphere between the two girls and they'd shared a few cross words ever since.

"It wasn't my choice Katie!" Leah insists, continuing to argue with the fiesty Irish girl.

Katie couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. "Sure, but you could have said something to stop it!" she fires back at the blonde, not willing to back down from the argument just yet.

"Girls lets' not do this here" Kim looks between the two of them as she notices you walk back into the room with the older girls.

"Katie, come on, just leave it" Caitlin takes a hold of the girls' hand to try and calm her down.

However, neither of the girls were willing to back down just yet.

They were both just as stubborn as one another sometimes.

"The doctors thought it was best since Y/N/N--" Leahs' words were cut off by you, walking in right at that moment.

"Tried to kill myself, I tried to end my life, and it would have worked if Leah hadn't ran in and stopped me, so everyone thinks keeping me locked up in here it will help to keep me safe"

The room is suddenly so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Whoops?

"Hey, at least the therapy is somehow helping to help me express my feelings now. Yay" You deadpan, plonking yourself back down on Leahs' lap as you rip open the packet of Haribo Tangfastics you had brought from the hospital shop. "So, does anyone want a sweet?" You offer, like you hadn't just said what you did.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hello Shaz

I would love to hear your opinion on 3D and all the talk around it

My thoughts on the talk around it is; "wow, well this is a load of garbage" (no offence to any friends I may have who don't like the song I just disagree that its a terrible song)

Alright. 3D. Let's talk. My thoughts. First, what's with the fucking homeless trousers??

I hate rich people 😭😭😭😭 if I wear this people will wonder why I didn't go back home to change after I fell in mud 😪

Anyhu, before i even say a thing. We should probably all try to remember that JK said this

(Thanks @chicknbunny13)

Yeah sure, even if he doesn't write a song, he may resonate with it. But not everything he does is a reflection of his actual life. This one, is for the Jikook antis btw. This is why my anons are still off. People, I dont have the energy for antis rn. JK sang 'girl' so what? This topic is super old and tired and consider it officially retired from this blog. I'm sooooo over it 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Now that we have that out of the way let's tackle the fact that our JK is a grown, grown adult. I don't need to bring back the live where he told people he's an adult and he is almost 30 and he will do what he wants to do. And if he wants to sing about this, that's exactly what he will sing about.

Oh my,

Even Jimin knows all about it

Tweet

BAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

Let is be known i am choosing to take that sentence literally. I think JK just means him, the girl, with champagne and confetti. I really don't think it means anything else here. But, seeing as this is another sex song, I won't put it past him.

Anyone else notice a recurring theme here?

Okay then. 😳

Also shout out to this random kid with the horse

I can't be the only one who has no clue what his point was 😂😂😂

While we are on the champagne topic,

I mean....

Make no mistake, SEVEN and 3D are singing about the same thing. If SEVEN was in your face, 3D is subtle. But they are both just talking about sex here. Which is why it doesn't make sense to me why people are so upset??? As a person who likes Harlow and has heard his songs before, this did not shock me one bit. There is nothing wrong with this song. It is meaningless and shallow but guess what, thats the type of music the GP is listening to rn. I understand why Asians have an issue with this line

And I can respect that. I don't have to understand it, but if Asians say its offensive, then its offensive. In which case I think that's just ignorance on Harlow's part. The people behind the song and JK himself are not going to okay something degrading. So it is of my opinion that people are reading too much, way too much into something that aint even meant to be deep.

It's a song, about sex. The only thing deep about it, is the holes that will be getting penetrated.

This song doesn't require to be analysed. Okay, maybe when trying to decipher the analogies being used but that's it. JK has one agenda and one agenda only; release music that the general public will devour, get his name out there and be a huge pop star. And it is working.

Cue Boracity's new video about each member and who their target audience are for each solo project

JK did not write these songs. If he did I'm sure they would have more meaning. But that's not what he's aiming for rn. Right now the man just wants to put out something that he knows will sell. Wants to put out something that will be a hit. And 3D is exactly that. Just like SEVEN. Mans was asked for the meaning of the song and by his answer, I'm not sure even he knows.

What??

Did anyone understand that???? If you did, break it down for me coz I did NOT understand that 😂😂

This song has no meaning. Its shallow, catchy, easy to remember and move to. Enough with trying to complicate shit! It ain't that deep. Period.

JK cared more about the choreo.

While Jack is calling himself a whore for wanting 4 women, JK is busy dancing throughout. So I will listen to JK and enjoy the song and choreo. Because there is nothing in the lyrics and there was never intended to be.

Idk why y'all mad when we stan a consent king:

Personally I dont have time to be angry because 1) i see no reason to be, and 2) i am too busy admiring JK's body proportions 🤤🤤

Damn, Jimin's man is hot!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[poetrysmackdown]

some informal thoughts

hello! hope the holiday season has been kind to all of you. and i hope all my jewish followers had a lovely hanukkah! anyways, since i said a few months ago that i’d pick poetry smackdown back up sometime around this time of year, i thought i should make a post. the gist of it is that i’m still quite busy, i have a break that’s about three weeks shorter than I was planning on, and i don’t currently have the mental bandwidth required to read, contemplate, and sort through poem submissions in a way that does justice to them, even if i were to recruit some friends to help out. since running a tournament format requires at least five weeks of continued engagement once it’s underway, and since i’m not at capacity to offer that right now due to the change in my schedule, i’m gonna have to bow out for now. sad bc i was looking forward to it!

my hope is that i’ll have some more time over the summer to hunker down with it, in which case you’ll be hearing from me. it’ll frankly depend on the kind of job i land in for the summer, but i find that my unemployed spirit can typically keep me doing stupid shit regardless of workload...to a point. i don’t want to make any promises because i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up just to let them down again LOL. i do admit the amount of exposure the first tournament got has made me feel like more of a perfectionist this time around, doubly because i don’t feel that i’m very suited to being a public online presence (even a relatively quite small one)—i’m bad enough at responding to emails for my own real life responsibilities, let alone tumblr asks for the silly responsibilities i invent for myself lol. that’s not to say i no longer want to do it, or i don’t enjoy it, or even that i don’t feel capable of making a really interesting bracket—just that if i am working to put something new together, and if people are taking the time to submit poems they care about, then i don’t want to half-ass it.

my second admission is something like this. I made the original bracket as a celebration of poetry and our relationships to it. yes it was silly and competitive, and the poems were very tumblr, but still, celebration was the intention—I wanted to have conversations about poetry. I stand by the bracket format as a fun and valuable way to foster conversations about poetry, but truthfully, the poems i’m wanting to have conversations about right now—the poems that we should be talking about right now—are ones that i'm not comfortable putting in a bracket. I reblogged The Baffler’s Poems from Palestine collection on here earlier, and Najwan Darwish’s “Who Remembers The Armenians?”, which I still often find repeating through my head when I'm traveling from one place to another, walking home or riding the bus. I came across this beautiful thread recently where people have been translating Dr. Refaat Alareer’s “If I Must Die” into their own languages (this just makes my translator's heart sing!!!!!!). @havingapoemwithyou has been posting some great poems from and for Palestine as well—check out their tag here.

There's always more to add, and I'll be posting more on here as I come across it, but that's what I feel anyone should be focusing on right now when it comes to poetry. i think poetry can be an escape but it should never be a distraction. does that make sense? i wouldn't be against doing a one-off poll here or there, but it feels weird to be making a tournament for poetry right now, or anytime soon. i feel like what free time i have right now is still best utilized helping my friends with organizing in the real world. and god, a bit off-topic but while I'm talking, fuck poetry foundation—I have so much respect for all the poets keeping up the boycott, because while i think it's a simple decision, it's not always an easy one (Aurielle Lucier discussed that here).

anyways, if you read all of this, thank you for your time!! I could go on and on, but really this was just meant to be a message telling y'all that there won't be another tournament for a while lol. even so i'll be trying to use this small silly platform as best i can until palestine is free because that's the absolute least i can do.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/2/2024

in which i try to clean two different boxes with varying success

new people: hello! the tuesdaypost is a weekly roundup of stuff i've been listening, reading, watching, playing, and making. it is NOT a recommendation series, although i sometimes dabble in critique. when im firing on all cylinders i ask "what is the core concept of this? does it succeed in what i think it's trying to do and what it says it's doing?is it well-made but i dislike it/beautiful but not for me? why? what parts Really Work?"

if you are into purity culture, yelling at other people about the problematic media they consume, or are under 18 i am going to have very little patience for you.

listening

now that i live in houston i am legally obliged to loop the new beyonce album 24/7. there is absolutely truly nobody fucking doing it like her. every song is a multimedia art piece. goddamn do i miss the album as a tool to convey a specific concept/listening order/flow. sometimes (chappell roan most recently comes to mind, although it does feel unfair to compare anyone to beyonce) every individual song is pretty good but the listening experience if you sit down and listen all the way through the album is unpleasant and choppy. not so here. NEVER here.

my favorite like Dance Number is YA YA (it samples nancy sinatra's boots! and the beach boys' good vibrations! wildly different tones despite coming out a year apart!)

the one that goes on four different character/tone playlists is BODYGUARD.

great early roundup of influences, samples, and collaborators. delighted to see five fingers for marseilles listed, a rocky but underrated south african neo-western free on tubi rn for americans

-

reading

also very texas-relevant with the recent pornhub lawsuits! pornhub and sex tech (among other things) have been samantha cole's beat for almost ten years. i trust her to report sensitively and not for like. shock clicks

this site has a free paywall (sign up with your email for a link to the full article) so bots have a harder time scraping articles: this is a journalist-founded site with only the four founders running it and writing articles. while annoying i do think this is a reasonable measure

The platform still has problems, but after years of critical reporting and a litany of legal and reputational consequences, Pornhub is now more heavily moderated than any other porn platform, and most major social media platforms, for that matter. A growing list of age verification laws has put Pornhub in a position where it is compelled to block access to its site in seven states and counting. In theory, these laws are designed to prevent children from being able to access pornography online. In reality, what is going to happen is that children are going to end up on pornographic sites that don’t care what the law says, and where some of the most harmful content that exists online is actively promoted to them.

she's also got a new limited series podcast with CBC about the rise and fall of pornhub, which was fascinating and kept me company during an extremely early morning drive

-

watching

i'm lukewarm about this one but i spend a lot of time getting there, much like this movie

ive been watching a lot of frankly dogshit thrillers, which has made me wonder: what's the deal with supervillans? where did they come from? and thence arrived at the prototypical film Dr Mabuse the Gambler (1922, dir. Lang). the four and a half hour cut on Kanopy is two normal-length movies superglued together, which makes sense as a streaming product but it is sort of a terrifying runtime and took me three days to get through.

sometimes, as we know, i get a real bee in my bonnet about visiting the early versions of things. dr mabuse is the blueprint for every james bond and mission impossible villain, or really any shadowy supervillain with power over [INDUSTRY] or [THE MARKET]. it is a four and a half hour long cat and mouse game through lavish, eccentric sets between mabuse and prosecutor wenk. it has some trouble sustaining itself bc it is four and a half hours long but does deliver on the cat and mouse aspects. this letterboxed review has interesting things to say about the political climate of 1922 germany and how lang subverts the formula of the pulp serial.

really the film opens with mabuse yelling at his cocaine-addicted assistant, but the film properly gets going with mabuse's henchmen stealing a trade agreement (nothing really carbon dates a movie more than a missing trade agreement. vanishingly few post-early-30s movies have missing trade agreements as plot points) and then he crashes the stock market. for fun and profit.

however. i think every time you see an evil man who is a banker or stockbroker or generally uses money as power you have to interrogate whether it's antisemitic. the answer here is "maybe" but i'm not sure if intent matters when contemporary nazi critics were eager to hold mabuse up as "this is the typical jewish criminal". (sorry about the link directly to wikipedia, it's been touch finding online sources for this section). mabuse is not specifically jewish, but there are certainly elements of stereotype. i am still not good at being presented with "this movie has a shadowy behind the scenes figure manipulating the government and all the money ever" and going "hey wait a minute".

after that tremendous glaring caveat, for which i read more contemporary reviews and reviews in general than i ever read for movies in these posts, is it good? eh. a contemporary VARIETY review remarked (and i largely agree)

The direction of Fritz Lang has moments – but Lang somewhat negates his good technical effects by twenty forty-word captions of a ludicrous unconciseness.

the night scenes are particularly well done, and imo are better than many modern night scenes--other contemporary reviews remarked

In this film the techniques of the film camera (Carl Hoffmann’s brilliant photography) are brought to perfection. The problem of how to film lit-up streets at night has been solved for the first time. It is unbelievably impressive to see the glaring lights of speeding cars flash through the night or the rapid passing of an elevated train of the initially blurred, then gradually focussed glimpse through a pair of opera glasses on to the variety stage, the nuances of light and shade—these things alone prove the value of film documentary.

look at this shit! filmed from within the cars! in 1922!!!

this film asks you to believe hypnotism is real and really effective, so i don't think it's that big of a leap when it asks you to believe in ghosts. i don't understand that quibble from contemporary viewers. there are several on screen suicides with like. specific methods. which is not currently regarded as good filmmaking practice. im curious to know what contemporary audiences thought but couldn't immediately turn anything up, and wading through masters’ theses on cinematic suicide is a little beyond my current mental health.

if i were a more content-minded woman this would turn into a clickbait video essay about the antisemitic origins of every supervillan. however i am unqualified and untalented at video editing and i'm sure there are forty theses on this already. this movie is a hard sell to anyone jewish or employed. it is also a stunning example of cutting-edge film technology and part of the genesis of the modern supervillan. Fritz Lang films tend to fall in the category of “movies i am happy to see once and feel no need to revisit”.

-

playing

playing what is effectively the same game three times back to back (breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, genshin impact) has sort of burned me out on open world games with a focus on battle skill progression and stumbling across little puzzles in the overworld. i have to get itch.io up and running on this pc and find the most linear jankiest possible one-sitting indie thing. or several of them. i might try the solo ttrpg Gentleman Bandit i seem to have acquired in one of the giant charity bundles

brief breath of the wild update bc i don't want to pull screenshots off my switch: i have gotten to the boss fight for the gerudo and goron regions, have not completed them bc my focus in this game is NOT hearts, and am in the middle of the zora temple. despite the quality of life improvements and new regions in totk i think i prefer botw: progression is a bit easier, there are fewer mmo-style hub quests and repeatable quests. things like the stable photos are cute but very repetitive, so are the sign bracing puzzles, and the sky crystal quests for sky shrines feel VERY samey. also dislike how the CLEAR OUT: [REGION] quests with the monster suppression squads reset at the blood moon.

anyway! to genshin! there was an exceptionally fun little event with a surprisingly involved management sim tacked onto the game??? you make and sell potions fulfilling different requirements, and can eventually stock travelling merchants all over the continent. the actual act of making the potions was this block-filling 1010! style thing (screenshot from polygon)

the new region, a port town and tea-growing area called Chenyu Vale, is maybe the prettiest one in the game so far? it's the one that feels the most picturesque and Designed, like this is one huge mansion garden studded with follies. they also added background chatter and noise in the cities and towns, which really startled me and makes them feels much more lived in! this is a fun trick to avoid putting in a thousand NPCs and making everyone's framerate crash. the less stuff in your game, the less shit can go wrong.

also pulled for and got chiyori, a geo-aligned seamstress (and sometime spy???) swordswoman who has what i can only call domme voice

-

making

ok now we'll talk about boxes. i was rearranging my kitchen, as unemployed women are known to do, and noticed this recipe box i picked up back in mass was disgusting. the finish is starting to fail but it was genuinely grody and last summer i packed my kitchen in a blind panic inside an hour and did not have time to address it. i have never seen a recipe box at an estate sale before or since and it made me desperately sad.

it was full of a lot of stuff.

i went at it with a somewhat inadvisable combination of things: wood soap didn't budge it, so i dampened a paper towel in vinegar and wiped it down in the vain hope it would do something. the thing that worked, and would be inadvisable for anything veneered or less densely textured, was baking soda paste and the scrubby side of a sponge. it still smells Very musty even after 48h of loose baking soda inside with several changes, but that might be partly the recipe cards' fault. i would like to refinish this at some point but i don't have polyurethane on hand and the fun little project budget is empty until further notice/i get a job.

the hinge did rust a bit despite my best efforts but that has since been lightly steel wooled and oiled. a well loved object! it's possible the lady who died just fucking sucked and that's why literally her entire estate including many other things families usually keep was on sale, but i would like to think perhaps she simply had no other family? a well loved/used object even if all the recipes are for semi-horrifying fifties new england recipes.

the other box, pre-acids but post-washing: this topp trading card box with seven episode one packets of cards was intact with the original seal. i have verified it was not worth much more than the $5 i paid for it with the trading card obsessed man in my best friend's husband's friendgroup. i bought this three months ago but the man was unavailable to open it until uhhh last week. some sort of liquid got inside it at some point and it was super corroded. i was going to store embroidery floss in here but even with all my powers (barkeepers friend. brasso.) i cannot completely remove the corrosion. it's not corroded Through but it looks bad and feels rough. so it goes. it'll probably hold the tiedown straps in my car bc that plastic bucket is rapidly failing

[joe-spookyy]

nothing makes me more evil than seeing someone misinterpret daniel “oz” osbourne of buffy the vampire slayer fame. this is deeply unfortunate because it seems to be all everyone knows how to do. the amount of people i’ve seen dogging on him for things he did not even have control over is crazy. if you have issues with him read on. he’s the best character and i will die on that hill, so fight me on this one. i dare you. season 4 spoilers under the cut sorry to my friends. also him and tara could have been best friends but this isn’t really about her. just had to say it.

FIRST of all. he did not cheat on willow. veruca took advantage of him. i don’t even get how there’s grey area there - it’s clear that in both situations the wolf has control over oz, but not over veruca. so not only was HE not choosing to have sex with her or even aware that he was doing it, but SHE was aware and was taking advantage of him. this is not in ANY way his fault??? now yeah. he coulda been a little more defensive about himself when he was talking to willow and buffy but it’s oz. he’s already worried about hurting people when he’s a werewolf. if everyone’s telling him he’s bad and wrong for this he’s gonna believe it even if it isn’t true. and he didn’t have to scram and go full no contact after that. but again. he was SCARED! he didn’t wanna hurt willow any more than he already had. he made a snap decision based on what he felt he HAD to do. and if you’re one of the people who says just because he brought veruca into the cage that means he Wanted her to do that to him. i am going to get you. that’s victim blaming. he just wanted to make sure she didn’t KILL anyone. it makes sense that he would pick risking her taking advantage of him again over letting people die. did he handle it perfectly? no. that does not mean he wanted her to do all that. he loves willow and says that so many times explicitly. literally left to make sure he was good enough for her. he did not want veruca. jesus.

and SECOND. even worse is the people who are saying he comes across as homophobic for having a negative reaction to finding out about willow and tara. like. hello. did we watch the same scene. not once does he say anything negative about the fact that they’re both girls. he’s clearly just upset that willow didn’t tell him she was involved with anyone else, and with his whole new controlling the wolf thing, there’s gonna be a lot of pent up emotion and probably anger. so when he got extra upset when tara wouldn’t tell him anything more and eventually ended up wolfing out, it’s clear that it’s because he’s upset that he trusted willow but she didn’t give him all the information about where she was at and whether or not he had a chance with her again. which makes sense from her perspective of course, and tara’s reaction was valid too, but we can’t act like he suddenly hates gay people just cause he got mad that someone he cares about wasn’t totally honest with him. and he warns tara so he doesn’t end up hurting her by accident. and at the end of the episode all he wants to know is whether willow is happy. and she is. and so he’s happy for her and accepts it. i don’t even know how people are getting any other perception of the situation. god. sorry.

big idea is if you think oz is in the wrong for either of these i am going to hunt you down and beat you up evil style and maybe sit you down and have a talk about media literacy.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Hello darlings! 🍂

So a while back someone asked if I’d ever be willing to share my planning document for the story. As I’m currently in the process of extending my in-game year to 6 days I took a moment to redo my template. While it is still blank and spoiler-free, I thought this would be a good time to show you all what it looks like. Of course this includes a long rambling explanation so I’ll leave everything for anyone interested under the cut…

So first and foremost this is just the template that helps me, and may not work for others. I also know some simmers keep a calendar oriented around in-game events like birthdays, weddings, etc.; however, mine is designed to help me translate my writing into orderly in-game shoots as well to see if there’s an imbalance in posts.

To break it down, I use a system where 6 in-game days=one real life year (although this template could be used for any formula). Each of these days is listed under the year and corresponds to a color for easy visual delineation. The pattern then repeats itself each year. Under each day, I have five slots categorized by times of day. This is because I usually have more than one post to shoot on the same day, so I can list them out neatly to the right rather than all in one line. It also gives me a better idea of what time of day/lighting to shoot each scene in.

Moving to the right, you can see that scenes fall into different categories. I mostly use “story posts” which is just the scenes as written in order. “Other events” and “Etc. Posts” are for things like letters (when I will need to load into another household to take photos there) or portraits, lookbooks, etc. All the way to the right is where I tally up the total number of story posts for that year, which helps me identify gaps in the narrative.

When I am ready for a particular arc (as I’m currently in the 1930-1933 arc this already has a completed spreadsheet), I read through the writing that I have and plug each scene into the corresponding year. I can then move some scenes up or down if need be as well as see where I can add scenes. When it’s completed, I can go in game and know exactly what needs to be shot next or if I missed anything. It does take a bit of time to translate my writing into this spreadsheet, but I find it saves me a lot of time and headache in the overall process.

I hope that this wasn’t overly complicated as I know systems/organization techniques often make sense to those who use them but not to others. Feel free to leave any questions in the comments 🥰

[writingwithcolor]

Shintoist Japanese-French Tourist Trapped Abroad, With Tattoo-Like Curse Marks

heavenlyfury asked:

Hello! I have a question regarding a character for a short story I'm developing. Here's the general gist of it : there's a curse physically spreading on earth, and it's unstoppable. The people it comes in contact with suffer tremendously, going mad with pain and a sense of grief so strong that they can die in minutes. But for years, this curse seems to stop... Until it hits the western coasts of Spain and Portugal one summer (the curse actually traveled under the ocean). So people die or flee, but a few of them survive and become cursed, with marks on their bodies showing the influence of the curse. Among them is a group of teenagers in Galicia (the region of Spain that is just north of Portugal, where my family comes from), some of whom are tourists. Specifically, a young Portuguese boy (Pedro) and a young Japanese girl (Mitsuki) who both lived in France (my home country) and are now stuck in Spain, unable to return home. 

My question is about the Japanese girl, and her religious (shintoist?) practices specifically. After some research, I've read that Japanese people tend to follow rituals seriously, but don't necessarily consider themselves very religious. But I am not sure how those rituals could be applied in a setting where there is no Japanese community. Would this girl create a sort of shrine for herself? Would she follow some celebrations on her own? And if so, which celebrations would she be familiar with, as a Japanese living in France?

Another question I have regarding this character is about the curse. The signs it leaves on the body are very visible and would kinda look like moving tattoos. But I remember that tattoos have a criminal connotation in Japan. I thought that Mitsuki would try to hide those tattoos under her clothing and would have an initial distrust of anyone wearing something similar out of their own volition, but is there something I should be careful about with this?

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me!

Regarding Mitsuki’s Religion: 

You need more research on Shinto, Japanese Buddhism and current religious trends for Japanese individuals domestically and abroad, in addition to more research on Japanese diaspora and their modes of identity expression. And I mean fairly serious research. The above would be like me writing a story about a girl in a Catholic school in France without having ever read the Bible, while also having no familiarity with the the religious history of Europe, the structure of institutions within the Catholic Church and further not knowing terms like "mass", "eucharist", "communion", "confession", etc.

Similarly, your context is clear but not why a Japanese character makes sense for the story you are telling. Why is Mitsuki living in France? How did she or her family come to live in France? Which country does she consider "home"? France? Japan? Both? Neither? What is her relationship with her Japanese identity? Does she have a French identity? If so, what is the interplay between both of her identities? All of these would in turn inform her relationship with religion and personal perception of norms surrounding physical appearances. It's not that Japanese diaspora don't exist in France. They do. It's rather that the circumstances that result in someone's family leaving Japan and ending up pretty much anywhere in Europe (as opposed to more common destinations like the Americas or other parts of Asia) are going to be distinct enough to have an impact on how that person turns out to be the person they are.

- Marika.

I think what you’re missing is that I don’t have a sense of what her personality is, or what her personal values are, or why she is assumed to be a typical, mainstream specimen of her society.

You’ve opened with the generalization that Japanese people are spiritual & ritualistic but not strictly religious, but I feel like that’s only a thesis statement to a much longer and complicated explanation about mixing religions and philosophies (plus westernization) in Japan. And more importantly, there’s nothing that binds you to include this in Mitsuki’s characterization. 

~ Rina

Regarding Mitsuki’s Markings, Tattoos

With respect to tattoos, sure, negative associations with tattoos exist among mainland Japanese individuals due to traditional associations between irezumi (Japanese traditional tattoo artistry) and organized crime. Think about how people in Russia or the US might regard prison/ gang tattoos. The presence of these tattoos makes legitimate employment and participation in general Japanese society difficult for those who have them when they are obviously visible. However, younger generations, many Japanese diaspora and minority groups within Japan looking to reclaim tattoos (ex.: Ainu, Uchinanchu) don't make the same associations. However, consider: A number of businesses (like hot springs and bath-houses) will often bar anyone with tattoos from entry, regardless of the tattoo's origin. Similarly a landlord in Japan or a company in Japan could justify not renting to someone or hiring them by the presence of a tattoo, and there's not much the individual could do about it. The practical realities of stigma against tattoos is something of which most people who have regular interaction with mainland Japan are aware. Does Mitsuki have this awareness and how does this awareness shape her?

That said, I don't think anyone would look at a curse marking that effectively serves as a proxy for a disease/ pandemic and associate it with tattoos, however much their discomfort with tattoos. Irezumi in particular are so distinctive in design and motifs that it's not going to be mistaken for a something that functions as a rash and lets others know who is affected by the curse. Similarly, if this curse has been spreading around the world, I can't imagine people not being familiar with its appearance. 

- Marika.

Again: Personality. Is Mitsuki reserved, conservative? Unapologetic, countercultural? Artistic, fashion-forward? Whether or not she is averse to body markings should be primarily because of these traits you choose. Every single time we talk about stereotyping & generalizations on this blog, this is the whole issue. Someone’s ethnicity or religion or race—or the mainstream values held by a particular ethnic or religious or racial group—should not constrain their personality or character. Of course, someone’s background can & will influence their beliefs system, and that can clash or match their personality in interesting ways. For example, Mitsuki may be totally down to get tats, but may try to hide them or the markings from other Japanese people, because she knows there’s taboo/judgment on a wider level or in her family/community. Or she might be a more traditionalist type, meaning her values align with the taboo, meaning she feels her shame or disgust more strongly. It completely depends. 

Also consider Mitsuki’s home is in France and the people around her are wearing them freely. A lot of American Nikkei folks have tattoos, too, and their relationship with them can be as complicated as “I was torn about it because of my cultural upgringing, parental pressure, and admittance to onsen affecting my sense of belonging in Japan but I also acknowledge that as diaspora I am viewed as an outsider and it empowers me to flout conventions to reclaim this abjection” or as simple as “I got an origami design cuz I’m half Japanese and also it’s neat idk.” 

~ Rina

P.S. Japanese people—yes, in mainland Japan, not criminal—have tattoos! Japanese people who are tattoo artists exist! And they are currently advocating for the destigmatization of tattoos and lower legal barriers for tattoo artists to practice! And with western media & celebrity becoming more available than ever on the internet, it’s a cultural tide that is turning overall! Again: generalizations of cultures are not helpful when taken at face value!

Finally, congratulations, you have unlocked the Motivation Matters PSA achievement! See the PSA and its explanation here:

[janeicethesiren]

Sebastian Michaelis Headcanons

Hello! Long time no see! Sleep isn’t speaking to me right now so I thought I’d do some headcanons for our favorite demon; Sebastian!

Disclaimer: These headcanons are based on my interpretation of Sebastian’s character from the manga (what I’ve read so far), and just some miscellaneous things I think about sometimes. This isn’t meant to be a serious character analysis, I’m just having fun!

Warnings! ⚠️‼️⛔️ Mentions of R/pe and SA; Sexism and Racism, it’s near the end don’t worry.

——————————————————————————

“Sebastian” The Demon Headcanons

Ok, so it seems like Sebastian the demon is a very different person from Sebastian the butler. And there are some things about him that I don’t quite understand yet, so these are my headcanons based on what I’ve seen.

He has said that his true form is ugly and grotesque, and I don’t disbelieve him. However, if I’m not mistaken, before meeting with o!ciel, he seemed to have already taken on a somewhat human like appearance that’s not very different from the beautiful man we see today. I can believe that he automatically took on a human form to ease o!ciel’s mind; it’d make sense. But I still believe personally that:

The beautiful man we see is just as much a part of his “true form” as the mass of goo he’s shown as at the beginning.

I believe he can shapeshift into any form he wants, based on his quote, “I am no one, yet I can be anyone.” But I also believe he has a “default human form” in the same way he has a “default bird form” and possibly a default form in the demon realm, too. I just think it’s weird that whenever he changes his human form before the contract, he never changes his face, height, skin, or even his gender, which is interesting. Just his clothes. Why?

Secondly, I think “Sebastian” the demon does have a gender. Let me clarify, it’s not so much that he’s like a human where he was born a certain gender, but it’s more like, he has a sort of preference for how he shows up? If that makes sense? For example, demons in the kuro world could be inherently genderless, however; it could be possible that some demons could have preferences or even biases based on lived experiences in the human world. To elaborate, Sebastian has seen first hand how most humans are typically more trusting and differential towards men. Particularly tall, handsome, white men. So therefore, he typically prefers to show up in that form for most contracts as this allows him the most freedom, and lowers most people’s guard, generally speaking.

Some stereotypes, good or bad, could be highly advantageous for certain demons depending on the way they like to handle their contracts.

Sebastian’s True Personality Headcanons

We all know what Sebastian is really like at his core. He’s narcissistic, sadistic, arrogant, selfish, and heartless. But I have a few headcanons to add to that wonderful personality of his.

I feel like, outside of his butler persona, or in his thoughts, Sebastian can actually be quite childish and whiny at times. I think this is kind of funny because he criticizes his master for this all the time but I don’t think he’s much different. Sebastian has no qualms about working hard, for sure, and while he likes battling with his master, he also doesn’t like to be undermined or looked down upon. He gets very miffed when people don’t like him, and he’ll whine when he’s not given enough attention. Of course this is much more subtle within his butler persona, but it’s still there. I feel we see this most blatantly when interacting with characters like Nina Hopkins.

He can be quite the brat himself too, which is also funny. It’s rare, but those moments when he’ll complain, or mock his master in his head for his orders, or his extremely passive aggressive, pedantic behavior, particularly at the beginning of the contract. And his whole thing about everything needing to be perfect and beautiful all the time even outside of the contract, lol he’s just as much of a brat as his master! A match made in hell, truly. (Not in a ship way!!!)

I may do a separate headcanon list for this later but I feel like Sebastian would be the worst friend/partner ever. He’d be such a headache. Any friend or partner of his would have to: measure up to incredibly high standards at all times, would need to deal with his constant need to be the center of everything, would have to listen to him complain and possibly be subservient to him as he sees himself as a king (another headcanon based on the ice king short story). He’d be very controlling and wishy washy with affection (only wanting affection on HIS terms), probably would have no respect for any possible boundaries you may have, would subject you to constant psychology abuse, if you’re good at something he’ll try to upstage you as often as possible, won’t listen to a thing you say because he thinks he knows best (due to his arrogance), it’d SUCK! Very, very bad friend/partner material. :(

Sebastian Michaelis: Biases and Sexuality

I don’t think Sebastian would necessarily have biases in the sense of like: thinking men are better than women or white people are better than everyone else because why would he? He, himself, is a shapeshifter and a demon who sees all humans as grasshoppers. It’s like us discriminating against male ants and female ants, red ants or brown aunts. Why would we? They’re all aunts.

However, with that being said, he can still fall into the trappings of ignorance sometimes, subconsciously.

For example, at least in the beginning of the manga, when he needs to gather information from a woman, do you notice he tends to approach her in a more flirtatious/sensual manner? Even when he doesn’t have too? Beast is the most infamous example. Regardless of William’s presence, there really was no reason why he had to approach Beast that way, or even at all! Unless I missed something (which I very well could have), I don’t see a reason why he couldn’t approach someone like Dagger for information or even Doll, who was clearly just as emotionally vulnerable as Beast was.

I think Sebastian, subconsciously or otherwise, might have internalized some of the stupidity of the ideology around a “women’s place” in society during that time and, based on his good looks, believes that women are generally easy enough to get information from as long as he’s handsome and charismatic. Since he’s both of those things, all he has to do is wink and smile and it’s in the bag. Basically this is Sebastian. “Women respond best to sweet words and private attention, men respond best to ego stroking or violence.” Something like that. You get what I mean? I hope I’m making sense.

I also theorize that, while he wouldn’t necessarily see a black man as less than a white man, he wouldn’t be immune to believing in stereotypes about different groups of humans, especially if he hasn’t met one that’s challenged these stereotypes yet. For example, his knee jerk reaction to meeting a black person during his current time period, assuming he may not have ever met one, could default to, “Black = half evolved human, or “strong laborer humans” or “hypersexual/extra primitive human.” Simply because, those were the horrible stereotypes that persisted back then. But he wouldn’t act on his immediate thoughts unless given a reason too. He doesn’t treat Mey-rin, Lau, Soma, Agni, or any other ethnic character differently so it’s quite possible he doesn’t think anything at all.

To put it simply, it’d be like us seeing aunts and being like, “regular aunts are harmless, red aunts are dangerous and should be avoided.” But they’re still aunts and not worth thinking about more deeply than that (in some opinions!).

Onto sexuality, this one is particularly confusing to me because I see so much debate about this and truthfully I have no idea what to believe concerning canon. So I’m going purely on headcanon for this, and feel free to correct me if you have more information on this (assuming you’ve read this far).

So, I’m asexual or something like that (I’m figuring it out sis), and I’ve seen some people say that Sebastian is asexual because it seems like he doesn’t enjoy sex, and only sees it as a means to an end, which I do kind of agree. However, a few things confuse me.

As someone who doesn’t enjoy sex, I personally look for any excuse to not be bothered with it. Obviously, I’m not a demon, and I’m not Sebastian, but is there really no other way for him to gain information from women? Surely he could just use his words/mental manipulation tactics? There’s a thousand different ways to seduce a person or tear down someone’s guard without ever touching them. Surely, as a demon, he would know that, right? If so, then why isn’t this his default?

Personally, I think he does like sex but not for the reasons we think. I think he finds sex/sexuality with humans largely boring. He’s a demon after all. However, I do think he enjoys the potential pain he can inflict on others through sex. Sex is a very intimate thing that can alter your very soul, for better or for worse. I’d imagine giving yourself or being taken by a demon can do horrible things to a person’s psyche. Sebastian LOVES mind games. He may not care for the act, itself, but he’d love the torture and pain one can inflict through it. Se/ual a/use and r*** are one of the worst possible ways to hurt a person, beyond any type of physical torture. Hurting someone in the worst way possible by using something that’s supposed to give pleasure to humans? Sounds like a perfect torture method for our favorite beautiful monster.

Plus, sex isn't only used to express love and attraction. It has also historically been a way to assert dominance and control over people. It’s been used to strip people of their sense of self and all types of horrible evils of that nature. I don’t believe that to be out of character for Sebastian. Again, look at what he did to Beast.

So while I can see the argument for Sebastian being ace, I don’t think he dislikes sex at all. I think he does find a level of personal enjoyment from it, but not in the way we would think. Sick bastard.

The End.

Well, that’s it from me! What do y’all think? Do you agree? Disagree? Do you have anything you wanna add? Please do share it with me! Just don’t be mean, please. 😭

Congratulations to those who made it to the end cause this thang long as hell. Let me know if you’re interested in more headcanons for Sebastian and other Kuro characters. I might do some for ya! Cheers!

JaneicetheSiren

[cat3ch1sm]

💚| hello all<3 decided to write these because i was surprised that I never had before. wrote these for some hxh characters, but i am totally down to write these for any other of my fandom characters as well! just drop them below or in my asks and i'll get to u when I can :D

<3

listening to jealous by eyedress while writing this and i love this song with my entire soul. y'all don't understand. also this might be why i decided to write these haha

ily guys, thank you for bearing with me. enjoy<333

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ g/n s/o, light mentions of murder, possessiveness maybe?

how do they act when they get jealous? ~ main 4

gon

₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ idk if he really gets jealous. he just kinda trusts you not to mess around with other people and leaves it at that

・❥・ if gon suspects that someone else might be coming on to you, and you aren't totally against it, he'll just let you go right there. he doesn't care for all the drama

・❥・ if that isn't the case, though, he'll go out of his way to avoid that person. he'll do it covertly, and you likely won't even notice. he avoids acting "jealous" because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

killua

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ if he sees you being "friendly" with another person, chances are he won't be very happy.

・❥・he'll brush off your questions later, bragging about how nobody could ever compete with him, but it does bother him. however, he knows you won't be happy if he overreacts, so he purposely lets whoever's coming on to you keep it up while reacting accordingly to prevent suspicion on your end.

・❥・then, when they've finally crossed the line- maybe put a hand on your body, made a suggestive remark about something you were wearing- that's when killua will strike, after you've become less wary and when you aren't around. doesn't matter where they are he will find a way to get to them. the least he'll do is make them shit themselves, but killing isn't totally out of the question for him, either... after all, what the hell are they doing coming on to his partner?

・❥・"hey, killua- have you seen 'them' lately? i haven't encountered them in a while."

"nope. haven't seen them at all."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

kurapika

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ this man isn't the jealous type. he doesn't want to seem controlling or possessive, so he tries his best to let you talk to whoever you feel like.

・❥・of course, that isn't to say kurapika doesn't get suspicious about certain people every once in a while. it's an instinct at this point

・❥・so when he sees you off talking with someone who seems to be getting a little too close, he'll calmly walk up and greet the person politely, making sure to nonchalantly throw in the fact that he's your boyfriend. if kurapika's really sensing something weird, he might throw an arm around your waist, plant a quick kiss on your cheek.

・❥・but really, he's internally begging this person to try him. let this person touch you or look at you the wrong way, and he's whisking you away with the most frightening glare you've ever seen directed toward the person. needless to say, you don't see them again, and kurapika just acts like nothing happened.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

leorio

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ is the jealous type- bro feels threatened kinda easily. although, he isn't the jealous type- brooding, kisses you ravenously in front of anyone he sees as a threat, makes sure everyone knows you're with him at all times. he's just jealous- "HEY BRO THATS MY PARTNER WHY ARE YOU EVEN LOOKIN AT THem oh wait okay calm down fine let's just leave y/n"

・❥・*aggressively holds your hand as he walks away with u*

"leorio?"

"yeah?"

"you're hurting my hand..."

✧༺💚༻∞ ✧💚 ༺💚༻∞

y'all i have such a hard time taking mr. oreo seriously. like please you'd have to hold me at gunpoint to get me to write something serious about him💔💔

i hope u enjoyed reading<33

[thetarttfuldickhead]

I felt *so* bad for Jamie in that locker room scene. Like, it’s established that he’s the one with the most Total Football knowledge, because he trained under the guy who learned from the inventor, and everyone was yelling at *him* for not scoring goals.

It didn’t occur to anyone to say “Hey Jamie, you learned from Pep, any ideas for us?”. And he thought he would get in trouble if he spoke up 🥺

(I’ve been thinking about this all week and it still makes no sense)

Hello there!

Totally see where you’re coming from here: it’s certainly hard not to feel for Jamie when he’s doing his best to sort out the clusterfuck on the pitch only to get scolded for it.

For what it’s worth, though, I don’t think there’s any malice or slight intended from the other players. While the message about Jamie being the natural heir to total football might have been clearly communicated to us television audiences, I’m not so sure it was equally unequivocal to our boys in the locker room. Who knows what Coach Beard, bless his cunning and weird little heart, intends or doesn’t intend, but the bit about Jamie-coached-by-Pep was immediately overshadows by Jamie-the-beautiful-dum-dum, so I’m inclined to cut my himbos some slack for failing to consider that our boy of the godkissed right foot might have some privilieged knowledge. Besides, between Beard’s presentation and the game there are several days of Roy Kent’s School of Senseless String Sadism, so is there any wonder they’re a little fuzzy on most everything?

Also, I can’t help but think that it’s kind of a good thing that they other players feel comfortable standing up to Jamie when they feel that it’s warranted? In a way, their whole problem here is that they to some extent treat him like Zava’s successor – ie expect him to do all the work – but there’s also an important difference: for all their expectations, they still see him as part of the team and one of them, rather than some semi-deified soccer* superstar. That’s hugely important, I feel, for a team who once tended to bow down the the careless tyranny of Jamie Tartt in his prick era – and hugely important for Jamie too, who has worked so hard to go from one man show to teamplayer.

But yes: while Colin and Bumber was offering reasonable opinions in a reasonable way, given their understanding of the situation, Isaac was out of line. That’s in keeping with what we’ve seen of his character so far, though: he is given to outbursts. I’d like to think that after the match (and after Ted’s given one no. 9 his due in the post-game speech), Isaac offers some small apology. Nothing elaborate, just a clap on the shoulder and sorry I yelled at you, bruv, great playing out there and that’s that. Tempers run high on adrenaline, and I think Jamie gets that. Professional footballer and all.

I have argued that Jamie is concerned about the team turning on him if they perceive him as slipping back into bad habits and I stand by that – but I don’t really think it’s a crippling fear of Jamie’s. It’s a concern; he check the waters; he is brave; it works out and his confidence in his bond with the team and their faith in him is strenghtened. Admittedly, given Amsterdam and The Strings that Bind Us, I am getting slightly concerned that Jamie is so busy making sure he holds himself accountable that he forgets to others should hold themselves accountable to him too. We’ll have to wait and see how that develops before making any final calls on his state of mind in this scene, I think. (Ah, the dangers of metaing a text that’s still unfolding!)

Does any of this make sense to you at all? I fully get that this might not be the answer that you’re looking for; it’s intended to offer an alternative and slightly happier reading of the scene, but I fully respect that it might utterly fail to convince you. Sorry abou that, in that case, and thank you for the ask, anyhow: I had fun thinking about this!

Oh, and glorious username, btw. Fully support that.

*Obviously football is the proper and correct term but never let it be said I won’t engage in American terminology for the sake of alliteration.

[pileofsith]

Hello there (no pun intended),

I do not have any questions regarding the Grand Inquisitor/Nameless comic per se (which reminds me of the fact that I still need to leave a comment on Ao3), but I just wanted to say that you rewired my brain with the page on which Tion Medon talks about a young Grand Inquisitor being taken in by the Jedi without him knowing that the guy in front of him is actually the person in question (and the Grand Inquisitor looking kinda like a kicked puppy). I'm especially obsessed with the line "Very polite child, very sweet, but so very timid." due to the sharp contrast to who and what the Grand Inquisitor has become. 

On another note: I also love that one piece of yours that depicts the Grand Inquisitor scrambling on the floor, all bloodied up, after Darth Vader backhanded him as punishment for his failure on Lothal, because it just makes so much sense, especially after reading Charles Soule's Darth Vader series (2017). The way the Inquisitors are depicted as both abuser and abused in it is really fascinating, which makes me wonder whether Vader ever maimed the Grand Inquisitor like he did with the other Inquisitors. Do you have any thoughts on that? Also sorry if I'm assuming too much! You referenced the Grand Inquisitor's strained relationship with Jocasta Nu very early into the Grand Inquisitor/Nameless comic and since it was a bigger plot point in the Darth Vader series (2017), it felt like a natural conclusion. I'm currently trying to finish a little character study on the Grand Inquisitor, which is mainly based on that source, and your comic was a very big inspiration for me to even try writing down the first draft.

Either way, have a nice rest of the day! Can't wait to see more from you!

Hello! Huge thanks for your awesome ask and your kind words, made my day! Thank you for reading the comic!

And please do share what you'll create for your character study, I'd love to read it! :)

So: I have only read a few snippets from the comic series, but have definitely used them as a basis to expand on the Inquisitor's character - I'd love to read the whole thing, however, I don't know where to find it!

"The way the Inquisitors are depicted as both abuser and abused is really fascinating" <- This is 100% my opinion, too! I have a lot of thoughts about them that I have a hard time putting into words, but this really sums it up, thank you!

For my comic, I admit I am definitely woobifying him a bit, but I can't really help that when I write stuff about villains, I just tend to make everything three shades nicer than in the source material. :-/

But I do try to keep his main personality intact, I just glaze it over with a more sympathetic view than I expect a canon explanation could offer.

This is the pic you referred to, if anyone's wondering (it's super old but still checks out, lol):

I do not think Vader ever maimed him like the others, but I think he would have opportunities to casually injure or torture him, if he ever feels like it the Grand Inquisitor goes out of line. Having said that, I do think the Pau'an seems to be perpetually aware of the risks in working with Vader, as he does carefully defy some of Vader's decisions with a verbal objection, but he never tries to contradict him further if his input is dismissed.

My pet theory is that neither Reva nor the Grand Inquisitor were ever maimed as a lesson in loss because they had both already survived loss events that filled them with enough rage: for Reva, it's the massacre of her Temple friends. For the Grand Inquisitor, it's the end (betrayal?) of the Jedi Temple Guards he was dedicated to.

I also find it interesting how Vader reframes his own greatest "weakness" in Jedi terms - dealing healthily with loss - into a template for how to teach others how to turn into darksiders.

I generally think Vader treats imperial inquisitors similar to imperial officers - useful if competent, but ultimately expendable, and free to use as a squeaky toy to vent frustrations. For the Grand Inquisitor, since the Pau'an is really arrogant and thinks so highly of his own intellect, the most efficient way to put him in his place would be for Vader to flaunt his own Sith powers against the Pau'an's humble dependence on him, to deny him some knowledge or to humiliate/humble him in some way...

About "Very polite child, very sweet, but so very timid":

When Jocasta and the Grand Inquisitor fight in that comic, he says something along the lines of how he never felt he belonged among the Jedi. I thought that was a really good starting point to imagine his life decisions. What brought him from being wholly dedicated to protecting Jedi, to becoming a hunter of the very group he vowed to protect? It's such a contrast! There has to be some nice, meaty psychology there to dig into and explore.

I imagined him as a subconsciously lonely sort of child, being from a much longer-lived species than anyone else (and in an Order that values detachment, perhaps one would diagnose that as a problem), so that when he grew into a detached, bookish individual, he sought to gain belonging in the Temple Guard as a permanent fixture around which to base his whole life. But then the Jedi Order starts shaking at its foundations, and he wants to escape, but his particular ~*°special-secret-Force-magic°*~ vows to the Temple do not make it possible to just walk away like Ahsoka or Dooku did. And that leads to inner tensions and a pull to the Dark Side, eventually.

[whatislifebesidesrehearsal]

Hello, do you speak in hypotheticals by chance?

Let's say that, hypothetically, your show's lead actress quits 2 days before performance day. Let's also say that, hypothetically, you have been removed from stage management and placed onto the cast in a panicked frenzy.

In this completely hypothetical and not-real-life scenario, is there any kind of advice you would give yourself for learning an entire character in 48 hours?

(Yes everything's fine why do you ask?)

So, hypothetically, I've never had to learn a role on this tight of a time line, but here's my like. General Memorization Strategy™:

You've been part of the SM team, you've got a general idea what's going on, you're not going in completely blind, you can do this.

Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. (spoiler: this is also in every other point.) Run it as much as you can.

You need a line partner. You will read the script (Several times! Out loud even!). You will go 'yeah know what the lines are.' You will not. Get someone on book while you run. It can be a cast member, it can be your friend, it can be your mom, it can be some guy you stop in a grocery store aisle, whoever, Someone needs to check you.

Adding to 3, my favorite method to have them check me, is where I start at the top and go until I mess something up at which point they correct me and I start over from the very beginning. This makes the scene take ages and gets boring fast and it is Absolutely Crucial to making sure you know the scene in context (also. free repetition).*

Do this on your feet. ** I like to run lines under my breath while I'm walking places, which can be anything from around the block, the aforementioned grocery store, or just straight up pacing. You're never just speaking on stage so try not to practice like that. Get your body involved

Don't forget the Everything Else you're doing. You know the lines but do you know where the next entrance is? Props? Costume change? Quick turnaround? Make a list***. Run the list often so you can recall things backstage

Also uh..i've never been concise but 30 Second Character Workshop:

Feet and shoulders. Bam. Like 85% of character body movement right there. How does the character hold their feet and how do they hold their shoulders. If you know that it will lead pretty naturally into the rest of the movements.

*I am absolutely guilty of bailing on my own method and only going back part way bc I have said that dialogue forty times in the last five minutes thank you very much, so this isn't like a hard rule but try to start from different places each time so that the memorization is cohesive and run it all together at the end. I also personally like my partner to make me be word perfect but that is dependent on both directorial and personal preference.

**This is more of a step 2 bc it can be a lot esp if you're trying to read at the same time, but you want to get to it as soon as possible. Also a great place to run blocking if you know it but if you only run things on your feet when you have space to do blocking you're losing out on ages of practice time. Just get your body moving.

***Given the fact you're stepping in so last minute, I'm going to hazard this list already exists in some way but make it your best friend. If you have time to rewrite it (by hand ideally) that can help cement it into your memory. My personal format is "In Scene X, I am playing X in X costume. I enter from X carrying X and exit X carrying X. After I leave, I X" but do whatever format and information makes the most sense to you, cause you're the one who's going to use it.

That's like. kinda a lot but I hope it helps! Anyone else got something they think would help (hypothetically)?

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

Hello, I'm quite a big fan of your blog and your sandman posts. I had a little question for you. According to the comics, more than half of Dream's relationships never work out because of communication on Dream's part, right. So well do you think it's because he does not realise that some things need to be said out loud like because of dream logic where things go straight from A to B, so it would make sense he follows the same logic? Sorry if I am not making much sense.

hello, and thank you!

well, for starters, i have a feeling you're here from the adhd post, but in case you're not or other people are reading this who haven't seen it, i talked about one aspect of this already

but do you have a specific source on the communication line? i am entirely willing to believe it, but i don't have a perfect memory of every single comic and i don't remember that in particular, so i'm curious if there's further analysis to this that i missed

that said, i can absolutely analyse just dream's communication problems in general, because there's a lot in there

1) pride/ego/defensiveness. as much as dream cares about everyone, he is an extremely prideful being, and therefore easy to offend. if something strikes a nerve, he's not really the type to talk it out, his reactions tend to be more... dramatic. our extremes are cases like nada, or calliope (who he essentially locked out of the dreaming for several millenia after she blamed him for what happened with orpheus), but like. we saw how the 1889 hob scene went down. and as much as he's quick to advise anyone else that revenge is a poison, he's a big fan of taking it himself (or on behalf of others, see: not letting the madoc thing go). dream, just in general, never lets shit go, he doesn't know how to. which is gonna be A Problem in a relationship if you have to avoid stepping on his ego for the sake of your own wellbeing

2) he knows everyone. like, i think a lot about the library of dreams. the show just describes it as every book ever written (including books yet unwritten), but it's more than that. nightmare country in particular goes into this, it's a repository of every story ever told in anyone's subconscious. so yes, those are the books and compositions and other artworks that were planned but never finished - but it's also that daydream you had in the car home, something you thought idly in the shower, the book you planned in your head before falling asleep that you never intended to turn into anything real. a couple people in the fandom have already used this as a fic concept of hob writing unsent letters to dream, which will end up in the library. and sure, dream isn't thinking of all of that all the time, that would drive you insane, it's why he has the library, to organise it. but he is the dreaming, the entire place is just an extension of his mind, if it's in the library it's in his head and accessible

and like, he may not mean anything by it, he may even attempt not to look at that stuff with a partner out of respect for them (i've seen a couple fics take that path), but so much of how humans communicate is based on the fact that we can't mind read, we choose the information we give to one another, and most of those subconscious stories are private. not to dream. as soon as you think it, it's in his head. and no matter how good his intentions, that's gonna fuck with the usual rules of communication

2.5) this does feed into what you were saying - when the rules are all fucked up and dream has access to so much information about any potential partner, it's probably easy to forget they can't do the same. and yeah, his thoughts do skip around a lot, he is a dream, he may not realise how many vital communication steps he's skipping over until it's pointed out to him

3) he overthinks everything. this may seem like it's contradicting the previous points, but no they just compound into a huge bad communication bubble

there's one i think it's a tom interview, i don't know if it was about ep 11, i just remember someone posting a quote from it on a gifset with calliope, where he talks about the purposeful way dream talks, there's no ums or similar, because he's the prince of stories, he has every word and phrase ever thought or spoken or written down in his head all of the time, there's no hesitation in his phrasing. i think the phrase used was "etched in stone". while dream may not always realise certain things need saying, when it comes to the things he does choose to say, he is extremely deliberate in his word choice. there's no mistakes, he means what he says (even if he may later regret saying it)

and i think that's another piece of this, because for most people conversation is just a game of improv they've gotten really good at, they may mangle words or say things they didn't mean. and if dream takes them at their word, then we're back to problem 1 of him taking things extremely personally and never being able to let it go

(and then there's all the other reasons his relationships rarely work out, like him being extremely committed to his work, he can't be what a lot of his partners might want him to be, because he considers himself dream of the endless first and foremost and a person second)

(and his relationships are kinda the biggest representation of that inner struggle, because like. he keeps dating people despite the fact that it never works out because he doesn't want to do this alone, to the point that his mother, who didn't even know their brother had left, called him out for it. but then at the same time he literally says to destiny that the word 'life' does not describe the existence of the endless, they exist to fulfil their purpose, not to want anything for themselves. which, is wrong, but it's an extremely strong belief of his)

(so it is just a constant snowball of trying but self sabotaging)

[usergyumoved]

♡ hello everyone. apologies for interrupting the usual scheduled programming, but here i am... once again; for the past month or so, i've been debating if i should write this or not. the results are in, so let's go!

i don’t know where i’m really going with this nor if anyone really cares to read these next few words, but i’m doing this anyway in hopes at least one of you can get something good out of it. this is an open letter specially directed at the people listed btw. apologies for how long it turned out. ♡

do you ever get hit by this overwhelming wave of love? sometimes, when i think of you guys and this place, that's what usually goes down. not so long ago i used to wonder "what if no one really enjoys me around? what if they just tolerate me at best?"; you can never be 100% sure if feelings are mutual and that can lead to anxiety and stress. this mindset often made me feel like even though i am here with so many great people, i don't belong with them. has anyone ever felt like that? i’ve been working on a couple of things as of lately; learning about them too. so far, i’ve figured that it's okay to feel lonely sometimes. it's okay to feel like you don't belong even in a room full of people you love so dearly. at the end of the day, the ones who truly love and care for you, they won’t stop loving you, they won’t care any less for you. people love you even when you aren’t around to experience it. time really plays a small role in these circumstances. people love you, regardless!

our minds will play evil tricks on us every now and then, but we should never go down that path. it makes no sense to keep people you dislike, around... right? so maybe, you guys actually do enjoy me. these stressful and anxious moments, are just that. split seconds that shouldn’t really matter. i know i love each one of you, even if love means one thing to someone, but another thing to someone else; even when i’m not vocal about it, i know i love you guys! ♡

to anyone who might be emotionally dealing with the worst at the moment: these bad thoughts will come and go, inevitably so, but they're not you. i hope there will come a day where they are not in control of your every moment. they are not you. i figured that, somewhere down the line, things are not always easy. we see people talking about the positive side, the bright side, the golden hours, the sun shining, “tomorrow is a brand new day”, and to some of you, it’s not that easy. it leaves you with this unsettling feeling that you might be different then... bad different. maybe you think you can never get better. maybe you got used to being in the dark, you don’t even want to bother finding a beam of light — hi friend, i’m here to let you know that: it’s okay, please take it easy. of all the given possibilities, you chose here! it takes so much courage to just be, when there’s always something trying to crush us from the inside out. time looks different for each person, not being able to keep up with everyone else’s, does not equal not being worthy of changes. your time will come, so let go of comparison for a while, you will be able to understand what all the positive fuzz is about. for now, thank you for being here! remember that you dont have to be at war with yourself all the time. you dont have to take yourself as the great enemy who must be defeated in order for the big victory of a lifetime to come. maybe you’ve learned that in order to be worthy of something, you have to carry this burden as a personal never ending battle, as punishment for something. sometimes you forget that you are just a person. i hope one day you will learn to work through whatever you’ve been through. and as you go through your days remember that every moment is just a moment, when you can’t take it one day at a time, try to just take it one breath at a time. ♡

to anyone who might have felt this way too, who somehow have felt like you are just existing with no purpose whatsoever: i saw someone once say that we don't really matter to this universe given the countless galaxies there are out there and how small we are compared to everything. they might have a point, but from the very small humanly perspective, we are actually so wonderful. as i’m thinking of each one of you... how can we not matter? existing itself is already a big deal. we don’t need to fill up the same space as the constellations to mean something bigger than ourselves. to everyone on this list: people do love you, people will love you! you play an essential part, even when you don’t really see it. when it comes to giving out the love you have, don't forget to keep some of it to yourself too. emptying yourself just to keep others whole can lead to unbearable outcomes. don’t lose yourself! love people like it’s the last thing you can do, even if you get nothing in return. love the people you care for; love the people you don't personally know; love the people who are yet to come; but above all, love yourself the most. and to those you can’t love at all, for whatever reasons, let them go. ♡

"you’re going to realize it one day — that happiness was never about your job, or your degree, or being in a relationship. happiness was never about following in the footsteps of all of those who came before you, it was never about being like the others. one day, you’re going to see it — that happiness was always about the discovery, the hope, the listening to your heart and following it wherever it chose to go. happiness was always about being kinder to yourself, it was always about embracing the person you were becoming. one day, you will understand. that happiness was always about learning how to live with yourself, that happiness was never in the hands of other people. it was always about you. it was always about you."

to anyone who might be feeling alone or hurt or lost or just tired in these trying times, here's what i know: there's a whole life ahead of you, and even if we don’t have a forever line, we still have time. if we must go through it, then i hope you find the strength to keep going forward, despite it all, despite all the possibilities... what if it all does work out? i hope you find the right path for yourself, the one that will make all your past selves so proud. i hope you grow to understand that some places might just not be right for you, and that it’s okay. not every house you visit, ends up being a home anyway. sometimes the only thing we can do, is to wait for the rain to pass just so we can take a look at the clear blue sky again. i hope you can learn how to let some things go, i hope that the people and those places who ended up being a lesson, don't stop you from keep looking around. ♡

"above all else, i hope you give yourself permission to believe that you are not defined by a person's inability to love you, or by a person's inability to choose you. i hope you do not abandon who you are. i hope you do not neglect or question yourself. i hope you remember to love yourself better than anyone ever could, i hope you learn how to give yourself that kind of strength. i hope you remind yourself that you are rare, that you hold value here. i hope seasons of being misunderstood, of being unappreciated, do not cause you to see yourself through the eyes of those who could not celebrate you or support you. above all else, i hope you connect with just how worthy you have always been. i hope you give yourself permission to be all that you are."  

hold onto yourself with kindness and love during this long season of strangeness and hurt and let go of everything that weighs heavy in your heart, that does not allow you to be who you are meant to become. ♡

i know once you finish reading this, the world out there will still hold such ugly parts to itself, and most people will still take pride in being evil for fun, but for a few minutes i just wanted to let out some good into your lives, i hope you can feel a little better. know that i really mean everything i just said, even if i still wish i could’ve said more. to all of you, who i consider my dear friends, come back to these words every now and then if you wish. in case we don’t get to see each other in the future, my wish is for future you to be having fun everywhere they go. to keep finding kindness and beauty and hope and genuine love, no matter what. to learn new things and meet the right people. to find all the places you are meant to find. to never question if the good moments are coming to an end soon. to never question if you truly deserve it all. you know you do.

i hope you can heal from all the things you don’t talk about anymore. i hope the happiness you never thought would come, will become a constant in your life as a reminder that you finally made it. i hope you will learn how to take good care of your heart. i hope you can look after and at yourself with pride and never go back from that. when the time comes, i hope you can forgive yourself too. thank you for making it this far, hope this message finds you all well!​ ♡

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