#doing water effects is fun but tricky lol

[spittyfishy]

Finally had the time to do an Angie for Mermay! She was one of the ones I knew I really wanted to do this time around, she’s based off a Racoon Butterfly fish!

[arvensimp]

Choose Your Own Adventure, Part 3

The penultimate edition! lol sorry for the delay here. my self imposed 1000 word minimum and maximum is kicking my butt. also figuring out choices for what to do next was a little tricky. As a thank you for the 1000 followers, I thought it might be fun to do a Choose Your Own Adventure fic. I’ve got a starting prompt linked below, and each part will be followed by a poll where you, the audience, will pick what happens next. Each poll will only last 24 hours, so definitely act fast if you want your voice heard!

[part 1] - [part 2]

What drop, if any, do you get from the raid?

Sweet Herba Mystica

Arven falls to his knees as the crown on the massive Blissey's head teeters then shatters to the floor in a sparkling display. He gives a shuddering sigh, and you're left to watch between him and the fainting pokemon, trying to make sure he's okay. Based on the quivering smile on his features as Mabosstiff and Scovillain give loud cries of victory, you think everything is alright.

You replant your feet and pull a pokeball from one of your pockets. No point in wasting a perfectly good pokemon, especially one that would be handy in rescues. 

A moment later, and the ball gives a definitive click shut, indicating that Blissey is good and properly caught.

"...You did it…" Arven's voice sounds shaky and soft behind you. "You really…really did it!"

"We-" You're about to correct him when you notice that he's actually only speaking to Mabosstiff and Scovillain, holding both pokemon tight in his burly arms. Mabosstiff licks his face, leaving trails of shining slobber, and Scovillain's two heads are wrapped around Arven's neck, giving him a hug of its own. 

A smile tugs at your lips as you watch the scene, but Ampharos and Azumarill eventually pull your attention away. You give them each a few berries then start to gather all the remnants of Blissey's presence in the cave while Arven gathers himself.

You scramble on your knees through the berries and pokemon candies. You even find a lucky egg! Still, no plants…

That is, until your eye catches on something pink.

You scoot over to it, and lo and behold! There are several sprigs of a soft taffy-colored herb growing from the earth.

"Aha!" You can't help but cry out.

"Find something?" Arven replies from where he's still sitting with his pokemon.  He sounds surprised, if not a bit stuffed up, as if jolted from the moment he was sharing with his partners, but he's already up and bounding over to you.

"I think so! Come have a look!"

"That… That's it! Sweet herba mystica, right there!" He laughs joyously, jostling your shoulders.

Arven drops his backpack and takes out a spade. "Lemme just…"

"Oh! Uh, hold on."

He pauses, looking at you expectantly.

"These are pretty rare plants, like you said." You start, cautious. You don't want to sound like a know-it-all or like you're trying to dampen the victory.

"Rather than dig up the whole root system, just take some clippings. You can get a plant to propagate from that. It'll give the herbs here a better chance of continuing to grow and reproduce, without affecting the ecosystem."

Arven stays silent a moment.

"And you're sure I can get a whole plant to grow from just a stem and some leaves?"

"Pretty sure. Plus there's like… six or seven different sprouts here you can grab. If you take care of them, I'm sure at least one of them will give you roots?"

As you speak, you take out a pocket knife and snip off a sprig for him.

"When you get home, you'll clip it again, just exposing a fresh stem, then put it in water. Give it new water every day to keep it healthy, and within a week or so you should have roots that you can place in soil!"

Arven nods along.

"And…this is better than taking the whole plant?"

"It's more ecologically responsible, for sure, especially for what is effectively an endangered species like this, y'know? Go ahead and also take a separate soil sample, too, just so you've got some earth that you know the herbs can grow in once they've got roots going."

He huffs a sigh, crossing his arms. "When you're right, you're right. I'll see how I do trying to grow a few plants before I uproot a whole ecosystem…"

You smile.

"Exactly. Again, too. There's over half a dozen of them here.  Plenty of chances, hopefully."

"Oh." Arven's eye widens. "Uh… Are we not splitting them?"

You nearly laugh. "What? Pfft, no. I have no real interest in growing this kinda thing for myself. They're all yours. You and your team earned them together. My partners and I just played support after all." You finish with a wink that comes off without thinking.

"...Oh… Well… Thanks. Really." If you didn't know better you'd think that Arven might be blushing in the dim lighting of the crystalline cave, but you chalk it up to the fact that he's leaned down closer to the plants to start making cuttings for himself, and the light must be bouncing in odd ways, painting his cheeks in a dusty, glowing pink.

Rather than stare, you go ahead and make yourself useful by gathering soil samples. Between the two of you, it all makes for quick, if not quiet, work. When he's done, Arven stands.

"And…that's that." He brushes dirt from his pants before offering a hand to help you stand. You take it; his grip is about as strong as you'd expect, looking at his physique. Arven makes for a sturdy perch as you heft yourself back to your feet, but his palm is soft, the mark of someone who puts clear work and care into his hands. Your own hand lingers a bit even after you've stood. It's not that you're marveling. No. It's just…the feel of him, his warmth…

Arven pulls away with a forced laugh. The glowing pink of the cave must still be reflecting across his cheeks because the color hasn't faded.

"Haha, so… Um. Thanks. Again." He says, and the pair of you turn to leave.

"Of course!" You respond. "I hope these work out for the cafe."

"Same… I mean… If it doesn't work, I know who to turn to when I need a…battle buddy?" He clears his throat. "Y'know, to do raids and stuff."

"Anytime." You agree. "But, really, your team did the bulk of the work. You should be proud."

Arven pats the pocket of his jeans where his pokeballs sit. "I am."

-

You got the [SWEET] ending! Where do you see Arven next?

[Poll here]

[elliott-the-creature]

unhinged 30 days of otherkin challenge except I do it all in one day lol (link to questions here)

day one: (dog) probably something with lots of bugs and rich soil! dig dig dig!!

day two: (dragon) cold ocean for sure! even though I’m a sea/rain hybrid—which would make you think I’d like tropical oceans—cold oceans are the best! warm ones are cool too when you see all the fish

day three: (cat) wet cat food (probably chicken or some land meat flavour, fish is nasty), mouse meat, and blueberries!

day four: (alien) the endless storm and oceans of neptune. the wind would whip through my antennae, and rain would splatter my slick skin

day five: (dog) sticks are amazing! I love it when my family throws sticks in the lake for me to swim and catch!

day six: (deer) mmm, leaves are delicious! plus, they make for great cover, and they’re so beautiful too

day seven: (deer) well, as a caribou, some of my brethren migrate, but I’m perfectly cozy where I am now. I have no need to migrate; I have all the food and shelter I need

day eight: (owl) sleepy!! even when it’s nighttime, I get pretty sleepy. makes flying kinda hard lol

day nine: (dragon) waaaay bigger than a breadbox! I would probably crush a breadbox lol, human stuff is so tiny

day ten: (deer) long grasses and peaty soil, with the occasional bug skittering across the ground

day eleven: (alien) definitely my mandibles and antennae! it was so weird at first, because most of my kintypes are mammals or something similar to that, but this was completely different. I’m used to it now, and I love swiveling my antennae around

day twelve: (water) hmmm… I can’t really think of anything. maybe spotify, because there is a wide variety of music that reflects the constant flow of water, and how some of it is calming and slow, and other ones are hardcore and fast

day thirteen: (cat) mmm, pretty good. feeling kinda lazy today because of the weather, but still good overall. currently listening to music while doing this challenge, and my companion alley is snoozing beside me.

day fourteen: (water) I’d probably end up breaking it, y’know, since water and electronics don’t mix well. unfortunate, but that’s nature

day fifteen: (dog) I like having lots of soft things like plushies and warm blankets and plenty of pillows! when I’m regressed as a puppy, they make me feel so cozy and happy! i also like piling my blankets into something shaped somewhat like a dog bed and flopping on it

day sixteen: (deer) hmmm, that’s kinda tricky. yarn is alright, but it’s gotta be that kind that isn’t scratchy. fleece is good too, but I overheat too much, so it can be uncomfortable when I get too hot

day seventeen: (dog) no no, I’m a good dog! I only like biting my toys, I would never bite a human! at least, unless they deserved it…

day eighteen: (owl) chia seeds huh, I’ve never tried them. not too much of a seed owl myself, I much prefer meat, like a good mouse or bird!

day nineteen: (dragon) nah, I could never knit. too clumsy, and my big claws would probably keep snagging the yarn. too bad, knitted stuff is so pretty!

day twenty: (alien) it’s kinda slimey, but not something like a frog or eel. maybe like a shark, but when you rub it head to tail, not the other way. it’s kinda scaley too, but you can’t immediately tell that there are scales, because they’re so small.

day twenty-one: (water) glossy for sure! it makes anything look shiny and beautiful, just like the surface of the water

day twenty-two: (owl) my favourite kind of music is ones with a lot of different instruments. it’s so fun trying to pick out all the different sounds and identifying which ones are which. love songs with a good bass or echoey effect too

day twenty-three (my favourite number): (cat) my fur immediately bushes up, and my tail starts to lash in anticipation. you never know what it might be, so it’s better to be careful!

day twenty-four: (deer) my hearing, for sure. I can pick up the quietest sounds, and it lets me stay alert no matter where I am. sucks when I have to be in a noisy place though, ow…

day twenty-five: (dog) I’m sure I could last for quite a while! I got a good nose, so I could probably find food and water pretty fast (depending where I am), and I can always run if something scary finds me.

day twenty-six: (alien) something with a very appealing texture, like fresh peas or carrots. I would have a muted taste, but it wouldn’t be something super bland either.

day twenty-seven: (dragon) I would much rather be asleep than stay awake, but I might go for a night fly around the jungle.

day twenty-eight: (owl) uhh, fingers? I don’t got no fingers! just wings and talons, no need for fingers here! although it would be nice to have an opposable digit on my talons…

day twenty-nine: (dog) anything smells good! cooked meat smells good, veggies smell good, fruits smell good, everything! love candles too, they’re my favourite!!

day thirty: kinda! it made me reflect more on my kintypes, and it was fun writing these responses in my different kintypes. would definitely recommend doing this, and I’d for sure do something like this again :D

[cherry-velvet-skies]

No one asked for this but I'm bored and I need a distraction from the literal apocalypse outside

Superpowers I think My Faves Would Have

(Also please remember these are just my opinion! If you have different theories pls comment I'd love to see them 😁)

(Bands featured below the cut: Måneskin, The Beatles, and Queen)

MÅNESKIN

Damiano - Flight. Easy. The whole Icarus motif that he is super into? This was a simple choice. Would have giant elaborate sparkly wings just to be that bitch

Victoria - I keep being drawn to super speed. It seems fitting considering she enjoys the party life and is constantly on the go for vacations and holidays even when the band isn't touring. Plus for long trips (whether for touring or travel), transportation would be a breeze.

Thomas - I feel like he would be able to control electricity. He's always reminded me of the human version of pikachu for some reason 🤭 I imagine him waving his hand like he'd be casting a spell and then lightning would just shoot out of his fingertips 😁

Ethan - Mind control. Although I don't think he'd ever use it tbh. He would think it was too dangerous and that so many bad things could happen. Until he found out that he can just make people do good things and just makes everyone be kind to one another and literally creates world peace.

THE BEATLES

John - What came to my mind was invisibility. And I feel like when he first discovers he can do it, he wouldn't like it because he can't control it that well. I see it acting up when he gets emotional, either too sad or too angry. But once he's able to manage it, he has a ton of fun with it lol

Paul - This was a tricky one, but I decided on telepathy, and my explanation is that I don't have one. He just seems like a person who would either know what you want once he got to know you well enough, or he would just wanna know what people were thinking about him specifically at all times. Somehow I think it's both.

George - Shapeshifting. I don't think I need to explain this one. But I think if he could he would've absolutely just turned into a tree and just lived that way forever. Eternal peace.

Ringo - Ability to control water. Aside from him also being a water sign, I feel like this goes with his whole peace and love mentality. Water can be calm and flowing or it can be rough and destructive. With everything he went through in life, he could've been a hateful person, but he chooses to spread kindness instead. He chose to calm the waters ❤

QUEEN

Freddie - Another tricky one, but I ultimately chose invincibility. I'll be honest, the thought came from him being untouchable in terms of rock royalty, and he would be able to accomplish anything without any difficulty. Plus he was always a very confident person who was proud of who he was and nothing could take that away from him ❤

Brian - This may sound weird (haha, get it? May? No? Just me? 😅), but super stretch. I picture him having powers like Elastigirl from The Incredibles 😁 I guess I relate it to him always being the tallest, plus his hair adding extra height. I think it would be funny if he was in another room and needed something he would just stretch his arm and get it without having to move.

John - Healing. Seems like an obvious one to me. He's such a pleasant person and seems like it's an ability he would want to have anyway. Just always making people smile and spreading happiness. Plus if anyone was injured he could just cure them instantly 😁

Roger - This was the trickiest one, but I'm gonna have to say telekinesis. Could play the drums from across the room, could drive a car while relaxing in the seat as if he were a passenger (I'd like to believe his method would be more effective than any self driving car on the market), and I think he would have a hell of a time tossing random objects at the other members to prank them without lifting a finger 🤭

[felrend]

HFW Mechanics

I realized that I never continued with my “thoughts on” series that I had started since both my character posts were so long! And thanks everyone for enjoying them and for sharing your thoughts! Hopefully this one will be as enjoyable for all of you!

There are so many new mechanics in this game and so much to talk about. I’ll start off with the ones I liked most, the ones I didn’t like and the ones I’m kinda “meh” on. But please keep in mind that these did not ruin my game play experience (both play throughs) and I’m still discovering how to use some of these mechanics and weapons properly.

I’m putting this one under a page break because....length haha 

Pros:

Let’s kick off with a brand new gear for Aloy and that’s the pull caster! What a great way to kick off HFW with building a whole new toy for Aloy to play with as well as introducing the workbench. Two birds, one stone! The pull caster has multiple uses and I’ve never grown tired of it. I love being able to jump off a mountain cliff and then latching on to a handle to be tethered up or using it to pull chests off of high ledges. Even though I’m always scared that I’ll take some damage if the chest hits me or something. Even with 100+ hours I move out of the way just in case lol the sound effect is super satisfying and now I’m always looking for ways to use it. Of course it gets tricky when you forget to press Triangle and end up shooting an arrow instead when you’re trying to pull a beam down or open a vent, but that’s just me rushing through the game play or puzzle. I also love when you finally get the Sunwing as a mount and take a running leap at it before using the pullcaster to hook on to it and pull you up. I’m so glad Guerilla Games added this feature and I hope they don’t take it away.

The glider is also an incredible addition and I use it constantly, even just doing a running jump into a glide to get away from a machine or rebel. I remember seeing it in the first game play footage they showed and knew right away that it was going to be so much fun. I’m sure it was a nod to Breath of the Wild but with the added bonus of no stamina bar! That’s one thing I didn’t like about BotW, it took me out of the game play when I had to worry about the fact that Link was losing stamina and having to choose whether or not you upgraded your health or your stamina. HFW doesn’t include that unless it’s for your weapons and I’m so grateful haha the weight of the glider is also felt as you’re trying to maneuver your way through the skies. I hope this is another one that is kept for future DLCs and games. It would be disappointing to lose it.

Aloy’s hair! I love just watching her hair move in the different environments and when it blows in the wind as you rappel down a Tallneck or high ledge. It doesn’t feel stiff and that there’s a natural look to it. Even just some of her hairs that aren’t perfectly tied together in her braids. The detail is incredible and it looks beautiful under water, so natural to how hair would look. Even just emerging from the water it looks heavy and seeing droplets fall when she shakes her head. The studio put so much thought in to her hair movements and it paid off. Of course you get the weird little pop in moments and her hair is a little crazy but it’s so minor that I can over look it.

Combat has been a lot more enjoyable for me during this game. For my second play through I have been trying my hardest to keep it on normal because I realized you get different movements from your opponents. Seeing a rebel grab Aloy by the hair or Spartan kick her away from them had be gasping! I didn’t realized that they would get their own fighting sequence like Aloy did when I was originally playing on Easy. You feel every hit Aloy takes and it raises the stakes just a little higher and makes you want to hit them back even harder. Especially when the Champions grab Aloy and just slam her to the ground. You never got that in HZD and I never felt weary when taking out a rebel camp. But now I actively try to stealth kill the heavy hitters first because I know they will pin me into a corner. It might sound sick but I also love when Aloy get’s blasted with electricity. Seeing her body seize up and fall to the ground was not something I thought I’d want but it was a great inclusion into the combat and a fantastic detail.

The skill tree is also really important and I don’t know how anyone could have focused on just one branch. You pick up so many skills and enhancement to not just combat but your over all experience. Plus, it’s not like they are cheap with skill points. You can totally gain enough throughout the whole game (during the main story and after) that you can max every single skill. Plus, the valor charges are amazing! I’ve mostly been using the healing valour because it has saved me so many times!! Your health bar never gets low enough for you to die while that valour charge is in effect. The one down side for this option though is that once the combat is over, the charge is still in effect until it’s all used up. I wish it would stop when Aloy is safe instead of having to build that valour bar up again from 0. But for real you guys, max out every option! You unlock a lot!

Photomode is just *chef kiss*, I really love the improvements they made to Photomode and the fact you can use it during the cut scenes? Can’t wait for New Game+ and I’m going to go crazy with that for my screen shots. You think I have a lot now? Oof haha! It did take a long time for me to get used to the facial expressions they’ve included but I’ve ended up loving them and wanting to use each of them some where. Even the body poses they have added makes things so much fun. Being able to sit beside Erend at the base (can’t wait to post those pictures) or creeping up behind someone to photo bomb them has been a delight.

The stash!!!! Please go use your stash people! I’m so glad there is a place for your goodies to go so you aren’t constantly selling items. They keep all the main things in your inventory and push everything else to the chest and it makes having to go back to the base or any settlement so much more important.

I’m lucky enough to own a PS5 and I hope everyone get’s the chance to play this game on that system. The dual sense controllers alone are completely worth it. I love the opening sequence of the game and feeling every footstep of the machines or feeling the rumble of the ground Aloy is standing on. Even the pushback or the tense feeling of the bow during combat is everything I want from the PS5. HFW is absolutely what next gen games should aspire to be. And don’t even get me started on the graphics! First play through was on resolution and I notice a difference when I tried playing on performance. The difference in the water alone made me go back to resolution mode lol I wish all of you a chance to get a PS5 and to boot up HFW!

Cons:

The hunter pouch is the weakest addition to this game and I hate it. It’s so frustrating that I can only have a limited amount of potions, traps, food and anything else in this feature. I’m left with so much in my stash that I don’t even bother some times trying to fill up my potions because I’m constantly being told “you don’t have enough space”. Guerilla, please fix this or get rid of this feature all together. I get it, you want to use every button on the controller effectively. But the fact that I have 50+ potions that I can’t put into my pouch is irritating and it won’t autofill.

This leads me into the workbench. A lot of it has been great but needing to hunt all of these different animals to increase the amount of anything I have is annoying. Create jobs? Cool, but annoying. Especially when I kill five geese and get one out of five feathers that I need out of this damn bird. The looting ratio needs to be better for the animals. Also, I love the inclusion of the glow gems but there needs to be more in the world for how important they are. You use them for not just buying special items but you need them to improve all of your gear! Add more into the world please!!! I want to max out all of my items but how can I went there’s not enough of these little green gems!?

The amount of blast paste you get also needs to be increased. The fact that one of my favorite weapons, the explosive Spike Throwers, requires 9 of these to be refilled is ridiculous! You don’t get enough of this item for that to be the case. Some of these weapons require a crazy amount of one item to be filled again and I’m constantly using up my shards to buy more. I know it’s an uncommon item but damn guys. Give a girl a break and let me blow things up without hesitation.  

Shredding gauntlet needs to be removed and forgotten about. I never use it and it’s just a complete waste of inventory for me. I’m sorry if you like using it but having to stand there for that amount of time to use this thing properly? Yeah no. A Thunderjaw isn’t going to wait for this thing to load. NEXT! Lol

Clawstriders as a mount is…disappointing. It’s sooooo slow which makes NO SENSE! They are so fast when they are attacking you and Regalla is a threat on these things. Yet Aloy walks faster than this damn machine. I just end up switching my over ride to attack mode instead of defense. Guerilla, you have an obligation to FIX THIS. NOW!

Meh:

Underwater is fun and beautiful but the fact that your only option is to hide or use smoke bombs if you’re near a machine is…..eh. Choices.

Gauntlet races are fun and the end prize is sooo worth it. You got me Guerilla…you got me. But my hand cramps and I’m constantly pressing L3 by mistake while I’m trying to shoot arrows and it leaves me frustrated.

Melee pits, not what I thought it was going to be and pretty disappointed by that TBH. Of course you get a lovely, and tough, side quest from completing these but they are glorified training pits. Plus, the fact that the timing of these combos is so tricky is very rage inducing and it doesn’t make me want to do them. I hate that I started a second play through because it means I have to do these melee pits again!

Machine Strike a lot more fun now that I understand (kinda) the game mechanics. I still prefer Gwent and Orlog but I see what you were trying to do game developers. Total bull shit that I need super rare machine parts to buy the pieces. But….it’s fine.

These are just some key thoughts I’ve had over all and recurring thoughts as I’m replaying the game. Like I said, nothing has made me hate this game. It hasn’t ruined my experience or made me want to give it a low score. HFW is still my game of the year so far and I can’t wait for New Game + and hopefully a follow up DLC (or two). Fingers crossed we get some news at E3! Or…State of Play!

What do you guys thing? Am I right? Am I doing something completely wrong?  What features did you love, hate or something in between?

[tigerkirby215]

Building Hank before Consternation (Madness Combat build errata)

(Artwork by OctoCryptik on Newgrounds.)

My initial build for Hank, while effective at capturing all of Hank’s abilities (and a good build in its own right imo) is... quite messy, admittedly. There’s a very big shift in Hank’s abilities after his death in Madness 7 and revival in Madness 9 and while I tried to capture the pre-revival Hank as much as possible in my build there’s no way to take the Armorer subclass without immediately buying into the flavor.

Truthfully if I were to play Hank in a campaign with as much accuracy and representation as possible I’d consider Madness 7 Hank and Madness 9 Hank as two different characters (same name different build) with the revival machine essentially being a way to bring back an old character after their death and swap their build. (Hell you could even play Deimos until reviving Hank.)

I think that if you want to play a post-Madness 9 Hank then the original build I made is quite good but to play a pre-Madness 7 Hank I’d give him wildly different abilities. So here’s another build that won’t be made as detailed as my usual ones but will still give a level by level analysis of how to build Hank... again!

GOALS

I still basically want a build that can use all weapons and is really good at using them. I also still want some stealth abilities.

RACE

Still a Variant Human, with +1 in DEX and CON. Take whatever language you want and the Medicine skill to patch yourself up.

For your feat talk to your DM about getting a Repeating Hand Crossbow or otherwise being able to ignore the loading property on a Hand Crossbow. If they’re willing to give you a handgun (or let you ignore the Loading property via the Gunner feat) grab the Gunner feat for obvious reasons. However if they’re not willing to let you use a Hand Crossbow without having to reload it I’d suggest the Sharpshooter feat instead.

Why aren’t we taking Crossbow Expert? Well you won’t be able to use the Bonus Action much for reasons that will be illustrated in the build. Other than that you don’t need the ability to shoot in melee range (you’ll have weapons and your fists) which means the only ability of value you’d get from Crossbow Expert is the ability to ignore the Loading property, which isn’t worth losing a potential ASI. Better to grab Sharpshooter early and use something other than a Hand Crossbow.

ABILITY SCORES

Hello Standard Array my old friend! Since this build isn’t nearly as MAD (ironic) you can afford to go for Standard Array! But of course feel free to roll for stats if you so desire or use point buy.

15; DEXTERITY - You’re still going to be focusing on guns, and you’ll be able to use your DEX for a lot more weapons in this build.

14; WISDOM - Still used for Perception and Survival, and is far more useful for this build than the other one.

13; CONSTITUTION - It’s good to not die and you don’t need the other stats as much.

12; STRENGTH - In case you grab a Strength weapon you aren’t proficient in.

10; INTELLIGENCE - Strength felt more important than Intelligence.

8; CHARISMA - You’re still a psychopathic mass-murderer.

BACKGROUND

Same background as last time: Criminal with Intimidation, Slight of Hand, and Land Vehicle proficiency.

Apparently if you don’t have Thieves’ Tools proficiency (from Artificer lol) you get it from the Criminal background? That works really well for us too.

(Artwork by DonCroco on Newgrounds.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - MONK 1

Starting off as a Monk so you can actually throw a punch and dodge attacks while actually unarmored. Take proficiency with Acrobatics and Stealth (why the hell do Monks get Stealth proficiency?) and Smith’s Tools, under the context that they’re gunsmith tools.

The fun thing about Monk is that simple weapons honestly cover most of Hank's weapons (club, quarterstaff, hand axe, etc) so you can use most of them with DEX thanks to Martial Arts.

LEVEL 2 - MONK 2

Second level Monks get second level Monks stuff. Told you this build would be a lot more basic than usual. Dedicated Weapon from Tasha’s will let you add more weapons to your repertoire, along with your subclass.

LEVEL 3 - MONK 3

Go Kensei because that’s the weapon Monk. Take either tool that you want (doesn’t really matter), a Battleaxe (reflavored as the stop sign Hank used to kill Tricky in Madness Combat 3), and either a Hand Crossbow (reflavored Pistol) or an actual pistol if your DM allows it.

LEVEL 4 - MONK 4

4th level Monks get an ASI: increase your DEX by 2 as that's your main stat.

LEVEL 5 - MONK 5

5th level Monks get an Extra Attack. Also Stunning Strike and stuff, but we’re here for Extra Attack. Remember that you can’t attack twice with a Hand Crossbow without Crossbow Expert, because it’s a crossbow.

LEVEL 6 - MONK 6

6th level Monks get Ki-Empowered Strikes and One with the Blade to bypass Magic Resistance mainly. Deft Strikes also lets you aim for the head.

You can also get another Kensei weapon: grab the Longbow (finally) which will be reflavored as all your rifles... unless you can actually grab a gun.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 1

Hope you didn’t think this would be straight Monk. Grab Perception proficiency from multiclassing and Acrobatics Expertise from Deft Explorer, along with two languages. Also grab Favored Foe to aim for the head, because Favored Enemy is meh (can’t choose more than two types of humanoids which is basically all you fight) and you can actually afford to concentrate on Favored Foe... Even if the damage is bad.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get their Fighting Style: yeah go for Archery because that fits the best. Dueling also works if you opt to play with gun and sword (or more realistically gun and knife.)

You also get Spellcasting: yeah take Hunter’s Mark lol Favored Foe is bad. Other than that? I dunno take Cure Wounds to bandage yourself up in a pinch?

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers get to choose their archetype and it’s me ya boii Gloom Stalker. Same stuff as last time: be better at hiding, get darkvision, get ambushing powers, get Disguise Self as an innate spell.

Also go for Primal Awareness because Primeval Awareness is still bad and Speak with Animals is genuinely more useful. You also get another spell: take like Jump idk all I really want is Hunter’s Mark.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement: time to cap that Dexterity!

LEVEL 11 - MONK 7

So like, every level after this is Monk lol. 7th level Monks can dodge rockets with Evasion.

LEVEL 12 - MONK 8

More ASIs: go for Wisdom now because your Dexterity is maxed out, and Wisdom boosts your skills as well as your AC.

LEVEL 13 - MONK 9

Use the improbability drive to walk on walls and water!

LEVEL 14 - MONK 10

Become immune to disease! Probably a bit late for that but still cool!

LEVEL 15 - MONK 11

You can use Sharpen the Blade to turn your weapon into a +1, +2 or +3 weapon by spending Ki now which is pretty nuts. You can also pick another Kensei Weapon like a Longsword (as seen in Madness Combat 5.)

LEVEL 16 - MONK 12

Wisdom.

LEVEL 17 - MONK 13

Lol like you’re going to be the one talking with your 8 in Charisma.

LEVEL 18 - MONK 14

Here’s the big one: enjoy proficiency in all Saving Throws!

LEVEL 19 - MONK 15

You can’t age, much like Newgrounds. Everything there is fresh to this day, just waiting to be revived.

LEVEL 20 - MONK 16

Just cap your Wisdom as your capstone.

You’re probably wondering why I didn’t take Tavern Brawler: the only improvised weapons Hank really uses are a metal pipe (Madness 4, 6, and 7) and a dude’s head once in Madness Combat 6. Truthfully I’d consider a pipe a glorified Quarterstaff and you’re not going to be ripping people’s heads off in D&D combat. Yes one could argue that the stop sign is technically an Improvised Weapon but both you and Tricky have used it so much it’s essentially become a proper martial weapon for both of you.

Ultimately improvised weapons come up so rarely in 5e combat it’s not worth taking a feat for it. We took it in the original build mainly to get Unarmed strike damage, and being able to beat a man with another man’s head was an added bonus.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

This build is far more focused than the original one, with far fewer dud levels. It lets you become a slaughterhouse fast and is honestly far more proficient with weapons than the original build. You also get 20 AC and +10 to initiative thanks to Gloomstalker, which is cool.

CONS

You don’t get god tier stats like with Artificer, but Artificer kinda cheats tbf. You also don’t have as much spellcasting, and while Hunter’s Mark will carry you far you won’t be able to use it all the time. By far the biggest problem is the limited resources of this build however: limited Ki, limited ammo for your ranged weapons (assuming you don’t get a Repeating Weapon), and notably you can only attack once with a Hand Crossbow if you choose to use one. This build would be really good with an Artificer ally to give you a Repeating Hand Crossbow, or a cool DM who lets you ignore the Loading property for the sake of aesthetic. But I mean you can also use a boomerang or darts or something tbh.

So thank you for joining me for this simultaneously detailed and simplified errata. I hope you can navigate the Monk class without me detailing everything to you!

(Artwork by Neentandoo on Newgrounds.)

[purplesurveys]

1096

survey by doedear

When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? It depends on what I’m signing up for. For social media and informal sites I use the same username I’ve been using for like a decade now just because it makes it easier for me to remember; for more professional websites I use my first name, my middle initial, and my surname. 

What do you think might be someone else's first impression of you? The most common impression is quiet and aloof, which I’m honestly fine with.

Is texting having a negative or a positive effect for social relationships? I appreciate that it makes staying connected with my loved ones a lot easier, but I disagree with how it’ll sometimes be used to deal with situations that are ideally handled by person, like breakups or serious arguments. In other words it can definitely have both; it depends on how it’s used.

Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? I might have a personal problem with it, but it’s not like I would do anything to prevent it from happening. I would not be in the place to do so. I will probably distance myself from that friend though, just so that I don’t have to get updated on what’s going on between them.

Have you ever been addicted to something other than a drug? No.

Have you ever been addicted to a drug? Nope.

Do you like macadamia nut cookies? Sure, though I really ever only eat one kind; Starbucks has a dark chocolate macadamia cookie that I like to get from time to time.

What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Philippine English, which I’d say sounds a bit similar to American English, excep for the small differences here and there  of our differences in pronunciation.

Bruno Mars - fail or win? He’s a win for me. When it comes to Top 40/pop music, he has always been one of my honest favorites. Have kind of a crush on him too lol, so there’s that.

Can you sleep without a fan on? During this time of the year, yes. It doesn’t last that long since Philippines was never meant to be a cold country, though.

Does history interest you at all? It really does; I can watch, read, and go to museums about it all day if I could. It was also my favorite class and it was the subject I could rely on to have good grades in and pull my average up, hahaha.

What's something you wish you could do-over? As much as possible I don’t really think of this as I don’t see the point in focusing on situations that are already done and over with. But if I had no choice, I’d pick the time I was a college freshman and make myself less-breakdown-y and less-depression-y.

How many times a day do you apply deoderant? Once, at the start of the day.

Have you ever tried any drugs? Other than caffeine, no.

What caused the most intense physical pain you've ever felt? The time I accidentally ripped my earring off and permanently disfigured my piercing. Also, when I touched a plugged-in clothing iron thinking it wouldn’t be hot enough.

Do you like those Sperry Top-Sider shoes? They’re actually pleasant to look at, yes. I’d buy a pair for myself.

Can you wear shoes like that without getting blisters on your ankles? When I’ve worn them like 5 times already, yeah. I always get blisters with newly-bought pairs, though.

Would you agree that dark chocolate tastes like rotten chocolate? Uh, no? That’s some poorly-made dark chocolate you have. 

Do you touch your lips when you're nervous? I have other habits.

Do you think you can read other people's body language well? Yeah. This is on surveys a lot...

Are you a good driver? I’mmmmmm honestly a little reckless because my temper is shortest when on the road lol. But since I’ve driven the longest out of all my friends and have grown used to parking in tricky spots, changing lanes, overtaking, etc., they all still prefer to ride with me.

Did you pass your driver's test the first time you took it? Yes. I think he passed me out of sympathy though (because I did terrible and we both knew it), because failing me would’ve taken so much more time on my end and theirs. And in the Philippines, getting things over with matters more than quality control haha.

Would you rather be involved in a watergun or a paintball gun war? At this point maybe a paintball gun war, since I’ve been to many water gun fights before.

Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? It’s the same length. I haven’t had it layered since the 5th grade.

Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? A friend who’s new to driving, like Jo or Angela.

What's a quick fix for a bad hair day? I just dab my hair with some water at the sink; it’s usually able to do the trick and make me look prepared when I’m unable to take a full shower.

Do you enjoy flying or do you get scared? The idea of accidents and crashes scare me, of course, but I try not to let it ruin my experience of flying and traveling.

Be honest. Do you like making other people feel jealous? Sometimes but it has waned more as I’ve gotten older. It has just started to mean less and less through the years and as my priorities change.

Have you ever purposely made someone of the opposite sex jealous? No. When it came to Mike, I didn’t really flaunt my relationship since I felt bad for him.

Are you addicted to shopping? Nope, but I can definitely see myself being if I ever decide to make it a weekly habit.

Do you always wear mascara and eyeliner? I never wear either.

Do you have any huge hoodies lined with snuggly fur on the inside? No, and I can tell you that is uncommon to see here because that sounds insanely warm to wear.

Is there anything you do, kind of habitually, that's completely mindless but helps you think? I don’t think so. I’m not sure I understood the question, either...

Do you like headphones or ear-buds more? Earbuds. Headphones undeniably have better quality, but they’re bulky.

What's your favorite winter sport? I don’t watch or play any.

What's something you're very good at? Meeting deadlines. I never miss one.

Where do you spend the majority of your summer? At home? ...Where else am I supposed to spend it in? Haha.

Who do you usually spend the most of your summer with? My family. I don’t have any yearly practices set every summer.

How old were you and where did you go on your first real date? I was 16; it was a quaint, Italian-American restaurant in Greenbelt.

Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach at night? I don’t think so. I would love that experience.

Do you like sour gummy worms? Yeah. I like the more gelatinous kind than the gummy candies with sour powder on them, though.

Have you ever helped a complete stranger with anything? I’m sure I have, but nothing super specific is coming to mind at the moment...just little things like holding the door open for someone carrying a heavy bag, cleaning up the plates and utensils on my table so that the server won’t have to do much work, teaching a stranger the COVID safety protocols before entering an establishment if they look confused, etc.

Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? Probably not.

When playing a sport, are you more focused on winning or having fun? Winning, which I know doesn’t make me the best person to play with so I prefer to watch by the sidelines anyway. I do have fun playing table tennis though :)

Who's the last person who gave you a piggy back ride? Gabie.

Who's the last person that you gave a piggy back ride? I’m lighter than everyone else I know so I’ve never given one.

Rock, paper, or scissors? I switch it up every time.

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? No. I liked lightly biting my ex as a show of affection and just to get her attention whenever I wanted to be playful.

Are you any good at dancing? No. I’m good at memorizing routines, but could never do them on my own.

Even if you aren't, do you like to dance? Only by myself.

What makes you feel the most 'alive'? New places and new experiences.

Whose conversations do you appreciate the most? Angela and Hans.

Is there anyone's advice you value enough to take against your own judgment? Gabie. At least in the past.

How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? Very seldom, which is why I try to give it to myself every weekend as a reward.

Do you like being alone or does it drive you crazy? I appreciate if I’ve been around people for too long, but I also shouldn’t have too much of it.

Do you have a trampoline? No.

Do you get nervous when driving in convertibles, knowing that if you flipped, you'd be screwed? I’ve never had this concern because I’ve never driven in one.

What's your favorite Pixar movie? Toy Story, of course.

Are you capable of successfully lying to someone you love? I guess, but I’ll hate doing it.

Who do you adore? Angela’s mom.

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[girlgrouptrash101]

Dating Poly!SooQi

Request: "Dating poly idle soojin and yuqi please ty!!!"

A/N: I know it's been a while so surprise!! I'm alive yeehaw 🤠 (p.s. 🦆)

- C

Soojin and Yuqi is probably a rarer paring but still a *chefs kiss* pErfect one

I honestly think this trip would be so much softer than anyone thinks

because you keep it calm and cool in front of everyone else

(except for Yuqi who of course can't help herself and is always hanging off either you or Soojin or literally anyone else nearby)

most PDA is reserved for when you three at home, because dating publicly is always super tricky and messy for idols

and Soojin just generally feels way more comfy with being a cuddly bab in the privacy of your own home

Spending around 95% of your time together trying to stop Yuqi breaking everything in a 5 mile radius of her

she can't help it if she's clumsy, it's just she gets so excited about even the tiniest things in life

and when Yuqi gets excited her arms go *flap flap* and her face goes :D and she has complete disregard for any fragile objects around her, including you and Soojin who usually get smacked with sweater paws or her ponytail

you and Yuqi teaming up to try and make Soojin blush like crazy - girlie acts so confident but really gets so flustered at even the slightest compliment from you or Yuqi

Whenever you're about to fall asleep and you're all cuddled up and just about to close your eyes, Yuqi always starts giggling or says something dumb

and then you and Soojin can't help but laugh, and then any thoughts of sleep are just pushed off for a while longer

Soojin loves kisses even though she pretends to dodge them when you and Yuqi try to give her any

but when you and Yuqi give up on trying she gets all pouty and actually puckers up because she was just being a grump and she secretly just wants to be kissed all day every day

Presents are always handmade!!! they both think it just means so much more,, plus it helps a bit when the money gets tight

that could be a photo album, a scrapbook of your memories together, jewellery, baking sweet treats,,, anything that you can get your hands on and make it into something meaningful is always so cherished between you three

gotta get that (G)I-DLE merch though am I right, like you always get first dibs on the nicest stuff

and it makes the girls so so so!!! happy to see you supporting them in their career when it took so much for them to debut

and now they are finally achieving their dreams, it means all the more to them that you're there every step of the journey too

If one of you is coming back late, the other two always wait up for them, you can't go to bed without all 3 of you, it just wouldn't feel right

plus y'all brushing your teeth together every night is so funny, one of you makes the others laugh and then toothpaste just gets EVERYWHERE

BEACH DATES

Yuqi always challenges you guys to a sandcastle building contest

plus Ice cream at the beach always tastes the best after a long day in the sun

Soojin sprinting away from the waves until you and Yuqi finally convince her to go in the water

and when she's not looking you dunk her into a wave and she gets so mad lol

When the local festivals are on they always have fireworks in the town and you go to see them with your girls every year

you sit out on a big patch of grass in a park, wrapped up together in a big blanket you brought from home

with hot chocolate from a nearby café as you watch in awe at the bright colours flashing in the sky

it takes you like 30 years to choose a movie that all 3 of you want to watch

and then when it actually comes on you get distracted by snacks and one of you makes a dumb joke and you start laughing and then you realise,,, oh shit the movie is over and we didn't even watch any of it

but you know what they say, time flies when you're having fun uwu

the most competitive board game nights ever

where you literally almost kill yourself playing twister because your left leg is like doing a loop around Yuqis head and her arm is under Soojin and Soojin's leg?? honestly we lost her an hour ago

almost breaking up with each other after a 16 hour long game of monopoly

!!! These two will never let you be sad, and they're always there to offer emotional support and the best hugs

and their favourite thing ever is coming back to your place after a long month of schedules and curling into your side

finally getting a good sleep and feeling like they're back at home again

basically two softies who just love you and each other so much,,,,, a fat uwu today ladies

NSFW From Here:

I would like to start this off by saying once again, Soojin is one of the hottest people on this planet idek why she has such an effect on me sis but like-

Also Yuqi's deep ass voice like sissssss 🅱️ls have mercy

the only time you ever hear Soojin be loud is during sex, she just can't control her moans when you get her going

Yuqi loves being cheeky and pissing you and Soojin off just so she can get pinned down to the bed and get absolutely destroyed

Yuqi is always the guilty one when it comes to checking you guys out, when she's turned on she'll already be undressing you and Soojin with her eyes no matter where you are

which often leads to her trying to get you both riled up in public, and it takes so much effort to restrain yourselves

more often than not you can't help but give in and find the nearest bathroom to get all of your guys' urges out

let Soojin ride your face you won't regret it trust ME

Contrary to popular belief, Yuqi wears the strap in this relationship

that sentence made me laugh

Soojin giving birthday lapdances>>>>>

always recording so many videos and taking so many pictures so you don't miss them too much while they're away ;)))

Y'all never knew about Soojin's choking kink until one day you got too into it and wrapped your hands around her neck and she went fEral

so now you and Yuqi always use that to your advantage whenever Soojin thinks she can get away with being quiet and reserved like she usually is

Yuqi being so loud and whiny without even realising like she's such a baby when she wants to be

flopping down onto your mattress afterwards as all 3 of you are like 'fuck'...... lmao

Yuqi pulling both of you as close to you as possible so she can kiss you both and hold you while you fall asleep

[oreomonsterhunter]

ON:E D2

Day 2 continued (even though there isn’t really a part one since TuMBlr DeLETed iT and I do not have the energy to try to recreate my thoughts, plus they wouldn’t be first impressions anymore since I’ve seen it already. Le sigh)

My Time is up first and I’m not prepared. My laptop even decided to quit the hell out of the website I was watching from, I assume in an attempt to protect me from 23 year old menace Jeon Jungkook. But the show must go on...

Ok I love the guitar move, I loved it the last two times and I love it now

No one come for me but his voice sounded a tad bit off when he first came in

I say this with love because my eyes and ears are peeled for injuries and strain and it is 2000007191819% believable that jk went too hard on day 1

But you know he’s right back on top again when the backing vocals come in and it sounds like a recording 😍 that’s my boy

I SEE TIDDIES I REPEAT THERE ARE TIDDIES ON THE SCENE

This choreo is impeccable

And I say that having seen it thrice and had my eyes peeled for the footwork and hand work because jk can Dance with that real good technique

You can almost touch the hours he’s put into this performance

Can you tell I’m avoiding the sexual nature as long as possible because I am

The leather fit was better for the thighs I’m just gonna say it

I like the red (and spoiler: the fact that he and jimin switch colors) but I reeeeeally liked the leather

My gawd those shoulder moves he’s so aggressive with it I’m 😳

The fact that his entire chest is out is absolutely sending me off the deep end, I am losing it, I have lost it

This sure is a...pectacle

Insert Jin windshield wiper laugh here

Jeon jungkook has pretty broad shoulders...and an itty bitty waist...and he’s throwing it in my face I’m like damn

Ok the backup dancers are lovely, and I like the symbolism of jk being followed by shadowy strangers, his every move inspected and copied

Imma say it: I liked day one hair better

I AM GASPING FOR BREATH JEON JUNGKOOK STOP IT RIGHT NOW I SAW ABS AND A WHOLE FRICKIN SHOULDER PUT THAT AWAY YOUNG MAN

I am keeping my eyes on the prize there is more to come I gotta stay cool but his THIGHS ARE A SIREN SONG AND I AM HELPLESS

That vocal run oof 😍😭 and right after that intense dance nonsense

Ok Santa I’ve had enough, all I want for Christmas is to squeeze jk’s thigh. Just one. Just for a moment. That’s all I ask.

I see sweat 👀 I’m not gonna say the thought I’m having I’ll scandalize you

FILTERRR JIMINNNN FUCK ME UPPPPP

Ok so he has his first note and immediately spreads his legs what am I supposed to do here jimin

His shirt is thin and almost missing as many buttons as mr doesn’t-know-what-buttons-are-jungkook so HOW does he do the outfit change later...we’ll find out

THE ROBE yes this is better this is the one heck yeah new fave

Jimin is Carmen right now (if you know you know) this is my ultimate goal

His hair...I said I was obsessed on day one but tousled is 😍 I love silvery jimin

And yes his eyeshadow is perfection absolute chef kiss Gordon Ramsay is on his knees praising this five star look

The lift and the half fall with the backup dancers is even MORE chef kiss ughhhh I’m so glad I’m watching this again to catch the details (and now I can pause lol)

Oop I caught a glimpse of those hand tattoos hello

Yeah jimin said “jk isn’t the only one with a chest”

HOW the outfit change was FOUR SECONDS OR LESS I COUNTED

I am literally yoongi looking at jhope doing hip thrusts right now. Hand over mouth, phone fallen to the floor, my entire life in shambles. Jimin has brought literal tears to my eyes how is he this potent even through a screen

Potent is the word, he is an actual SIREN like what

Jimin get over here I want you

And now I’m soothed with Jin 😌 thank you

THE PINK SHIRT nvm I’m not soothed I am a massive fan girl

His hair is also perfection, the whole vibe is It

Jin’s voice is sweeter than the WWH kisses he blows to the audience all the time 😭 omggg

I really do love that shirt, the sleeves are so fun and pretty and flowy

The little prince theme is killin me ahh

Things I want after this concert (since part 1 was deleted I’ll repeat myself...thanks tumblr I really love that you deleted valuable notes): jimins ripped sparkly pants, jungkook’s thighs, jimin, Jin’s shirt

HOLY HELL THAT HIGH NOTE

Jin are you sure you’re human I see no flaws, pretty suspect if you ask me

What?!? The song is over already? Excuse me?

Probably because I had to keep taking breaks from jk to breathe, and jimin to regain some control of my brain cells

The way tae does lil kid things as an adult

Not just on stage but I was reminded by that lil finger wave, this absolute cutie

The way he holds a mic is 👀 this man really does everything differently and somehow makes anything look damn good

What’s cuter, this kid or taehyung’s smile right before the chorus??? Impossible choice?

NOPE it’s the way tae makes those little faces at him and pats his head and you hear army in the background 🥺😭😭

His high notes at the end? Are they all trying to murder me with these vocals? Vocal line doesn’t REST

EGOOOOOO I think I need hobi in a red car for the rest of my life

How am I supposed to stay calm when you look That Good, hobi?

This choreo is so much fun ahhhhh I wanna dance but I’m definitely not good enough to learn this on the fly

The lil woah

Ripped jeans hobi 😍

Skipping hobi is an absolute joy, a bit of sunshine everyone needs to witness, the cure to what ails you, the light at the end of a long day, I sob

His joy is seeping through the screen he really is sunshine

He can really make any dance look easy, that’s such a skill

I mean these leg moves? I know they’re hard, or at least tricky, and he just? Does them? And makes my brain think they’re easy because he’s just doing them so naturally? What a lie he’s just gifted beyond this dimension. And also practices to perfection so there’s that

Tae is seriously shaking his booty right now lol

I know the boys always make fun of suga’s rap during boy with luv but I really love it

Jin’s so happy 😊 they’re all excited and having so much fun

I’ll never stop screaming over bts harmonies. Jk can actually turn anything into a masterpiece he blends so well with everyone, goosebumps every time I forget about a harmony and get surprised and ughhhh yesss

Jimin doing the ego dance lol this cutie

See I’m not crazy, they really are so happy on stage 😭 they’re all glowing and now they’re gonna talk about it I better not cry I’m too tired for that

Mmmmm Joonie wearing necklaces is 👌

All of their hair looks stellar oof

DNA choreo is one of my faves (who can watch them and say they’re not amazing performers, seriously)

Yasss Jin goooooo

Dance line really knows how to take and grab my attention like...I’m addicted to them

The hobi center part at the end though 🥳

I love the old songs, I’m always smiling when some of them come on idk

It makes me happy that bts still like performing their old stuff, like...we enjoy it but so do they

SUGA ON THE THRONE WHERE HE BELONGS #king of swag

You know it’s an old song when rapper jk reappears, and y’all know how much I love rapper jk *cough* ddaeng *cough*

The baseball is weird not gonna lie

Ooh little groovy jhope

Jimin seriously considered yanking his shirt up, I saw him think about it 😂 but shirt still tucked in

NEVER OVER THIS DANCE BREAK

Ok usually my jaw drops over jhope NOT NAMJOON excuse ME whAT

This should be ILLEGAL SIR, ILLEGAL

Ok yeah jhope has my jaw dropping again how does he move like that

😳😩🥵 red alert, that smirk is worth calling 911 to put out a fire because Hot Damn

I love jimin’s voice ok I love it

The closeups on heavy breathing sweaty bangtan are actual threats against my life

Not sure I have a pulse anymore

Can anyone in bts perform cpr I think I need it

Ok nvm jhope’s intro in spring day is the virtual version, I’m saved

What excuse me park jimin you better be ok go drink some water bb

Jin forehead I see you, worldwide handsome on full display

Gahhhh hobi vocals simultaneously kill me and bring me back to life

Also harmonies with rapline and vocal line (suga and jimin are lovely omg)

IDOLLLLLLLL YASSSSSS QUEEN

jk is totally doing sound effects lmao

I like how tae has the bandana around his bicep again (they totally stalked the internet and found the thirst, it’s the least practical thing, he’s only wearing that for one reason lol

They are the MOST HYPE how do they just keep going my introverted ass is in awe

Jk like move y’all are in my way this is my moment get out of it ahahaha

Wait how did I not notice tae put the bandana on his head

It must be a pain in the butt to clean up all that confetti

Encore song is only for army 🥺 these are the most precious boys i swear

Jimin fixing jhope’s hair...I thought I couldn’t uwu any harder but I can

Apparently I can uwu even harder because jimin saying he’s not gonna cry and smiling so big his eyes turn into smiles too I’m the softest for one man and his name is park jimin

President joon, I’m happy too 😭

[katiebees-creations]

SCULPTURE WORKSHOP 

I made three plaster casts of my mould 

FINISHING: There are endless ways in which to finish a plaster sculpture. The main one being to seal the plaster cast as any moisture will be sucked up like a sponge as the plaster is porous. To seal a plaster cast, the best thing to use is shellac. A good couple of coats of shellac will allow the cast to be protected for a very long time. If you are wanting to keep your cast white in its purest form the best thing to use is PVA. Before I sealed my 1st head I used a sculpting tool to scratch a wood like effect onto the "skin" surface areas. I then used shellac and painted on top of the shellac in gouache paints. For my 2nd head cast i wanted to keep it white so i used PVA and then used gold leaf, which is very tricky and fiddly to use on the oak leaf hair part of the cast. Other finishing techniques can come from; oxidised metal filings inks stamps zip polishes and more to create varied amazing effects. 

REFLECTION: Looking back I think my own thoughts would be that I really wish I had experimented with the metal filings as a finish. The process itself from start to finish was some of the most fun I have ever had and i loved every second of it. I watched another student used dyes in the plaster mixture before pouring into the mould. which would be something i would enjoy doing myself at some point going forward. I've loved this process so much that I have it stashed away to use for perhaps "paint your own" kits to sell in my business.

ETHICAL: In the sculpture room there are endless amounts of materials that have been reclaimed from the skip on campus used by the builders. Through the process of creating our heads, I believe that there is very little waste from anything we used. The only possible thing that could be considered waste is if you created too much plaster mixture for your mould. With this in mind though our lecturer made sure to have several people at a time needing to fill their moulds so as to make sure none of the plaster was to be wasted. As a practice on your own however I think it best to perhaps measure accurately the amount of liquid you need for your mould or to have small moulds of embellishments perhaps to use any excess mixture. The sustainability of this process is immense due to only one mould of latex and mod roc being needed and then being used repeatedly over and over again almost endlessly and could last years. The layout of the room and desks allowed for a more communal atmosphere and it was wonderful and inspirational to see each others work as they all progressed. We were also given instruction on not cleaning plaster dust or mixture containers in the sink as the mixture would then dry and clog the drains but also would disperse plaster particles into the water system. 

One down, two to go!! Nearly finished on my sculpture workshop heads. Had to bring everything home yesterday to crack on with things as not in college today and didn’t want to waste anymore time. See @brokensharkcage i promised I'd be working lol 😊 #strodecollege #strodecollegeartdepartment #maturestudent #strodefad #sculpture #greekmythology #plaster (at Street, Somerset) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGR2caaFd3g/?igshid=qsnfbv4iig1g

[outoforderaro]

oh hey, decade list anon, i didnt really forget about you, i just slept through most of tuesday and now thought about it. let’s do some listing. 

Music: A tough category bc finding what applies is tricky.

Shape Shift with Me - Against Me! (2016)

The album is just wholly good, of just wanting to belt along with everything. “Dead Rats” is my pick for fave, tho tbh it’s whichever im listening to atm. Ive changed this like 5 times ngl

Hozier - Hozier (2014)

hozier hozier hozier. everyone knows this blues-y guy. fave track: “It Will Come Back” (i took take me to church out of the running on purpose) 

Brought to Rot - Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers (2018)

i got ljg across my one per band rule, shh. “Apocalypse Now (& Later)”

Come of Age - The Vaccines (2011)

Wetsuit is the fave

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (2010)

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

CLPPNG - clipping. (2014)

Body & Blood. ty jacob for getting me into them, i wouldntve found them by the daveed diggs from hamilton connection

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! at the Disco (2016)

Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time. a P!atD almost had to make it

Racine Carrée (2013) - Stromae

tous les mêmes. ty frankie!

The Human Condition - Jon Bellion (2016)

Morning in America   

Racine Carrée - Stromae (2013)

tous les mêmes

1) my keyboard started acting up again in the middle of this >:c but just for a bit, and 2) there’s really not a lot to say about music. Music good! Honorable mentions to Mother Mother’s O My Heart, which came out earlier but i discovered recently and loved, Pierce the Veil’s Collide with the Sky where listening to stuff like A Match Into Water has been less relevant (good thing!) and Moses Sumney’s Aromanticism which isn’t top fave music, but which i obvsly love and support

Video Games:

Stardew Valley (2016)

Such a charming farming game, and a great one to play if you just need to have a nice time watering crops, giving gifts, or fish. Also a good one to play while listening to podcasts, though the music and sound effects are nice. When i first got it I got sucked in and played all night, oops! I’ve got 422 hrs in this. Lots of mods out there, including a good gender neutrality one, and also just got a big update, and part of it was giving a platonic roommate option so im a v happy queer 

FTL: Faster Than Light (2012)

A spaceship roguelite, with real time with pause, where you must fight through sectors of space because you have the necessary knowledge to take down the rebel flagship. I’ve heard it described as like “surprisingly, a star trek simulator”, as you acquire alien crew and react to emergencies. A lot of fun, difficult at first, and i really want to get their second game, Into the Breach.

Pokémon Sun (2016)

Aside: Pokemon HeartGold was released in 2009? so my first game was almost in. Pokemon Sun is a lot of fun, and makes tons of quality life choices in particular. Like no HMs! and there was much rejoicing. First game I filled my pokedex in (helps that it was just the regional it tracked tho. And i filled my dex in heartgold but with an actionreplay helping out to make anything available). SOS battles are a great way to shiny hunt tho i wish there was a way to stop them (ik there’s status but it can wear off or not stick). I have like 400 hrs in? sometimes i leave it on, but im sure it’s all the breeding or slow battle tree while doing other stuff.

Undertale (2015)

This was under consideration for music too. The characters are really great and why it’s so high. I’ve never and could not mentally, emotionally, physically do an evil run. how dare you even suggest

Fallout: New Vegas (2010)

surprised this fits in. A long time fave, love exploring the irradiated Mojave, listening to oldies and HOLD UP turns out i Do know who tf wayne newton is (after justin was like this is where Duck’s name is from) bc he’s in this game? not as Mr Las Vegas, but Mr New Vegas, the DJ of the radio station. ok weird wiki times lol.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (2011)

remakes count, right? LoZ is really good and this is a good one! Nm to say?

Transistor (2014)

This game is really gorgeous, and the music is great. It’s a cool cyber future with a mute singer and a talking sword, fighting robots, and playing with a robot dog, what’s not to like? 

Terraria (2011)

A sandbox world that you can rearrange and craft stuff in, same genre as Minecraft, but with NPCs, much more boxes, probably more crafting and gear, and one less dimension. I’ve put 208hrs into this

Kerbal Space Program (2011, 2013, 2015)

So it got a beta release, then onto Steam Early Access, then out of beta in those years respectively. It’s a physics simulator of starting a space program and often failing in fun ways! Getting to space is hard! Landing somewhere from space is also very hard. Turns out it *is* rocket science. 176 hours and my best accomplishments are satellites all over the place and landing on kerbal’s /second/ moon. I landed a probe onto the mars equivalent too. V moddable game

Universal Paperclips (2017)

Browser game that looks like a very basically designed clicker game, where you play a productivity-maximized AI in a paperclip making machine, so you make all the paperclips you can. All Of Them. It’s a fun one

[austencello]

The Longbow Hunters - Arrow Music Notes 7x02

Oliver, Felicity, and Diggle are each searching for Diaz and the Longbow Hunters in their own ways, each struggling with their desire for justice in the face of hard decisions.

This week, there were a few returning themes but a lot of new ones.  The tricky part with new themes is knowing whether they are just there for one episode or whether they will last longer with greater significance.  I guess we shall see!

Oliver

Much of the soundscape remains the same for Oliver in prison.  Darker elements with low bass, percussive beats, clanging bars.  As he leaves confinement (for beating up the guy from last week), the guard reminds him that though some people believes he is a hero, they both know better: he is a criminal like everyone else in the prison.  As the scene progresses, a new three note motif repeats in the higher electric guitar in contrast to the lower strings.  It is a bit of light in the darkness...for we know Oliver is a hero even if they do not. 

There are two moments where the soundscape returns to the Hood/Green Arrow fighting music without using his actual themes.  One of these is the WWGAD moment as Oliver takes out the lights and uses a computer for information with Stanley along as a sidekick (for his first Green Arrow mission).  Throughout the past seven years, numerous repetitive string patterns within a scale play as Oliver and the team fight, looking for intel,often in dangerous situations.  This is a new pattern but still matches within Arrow soundscape along with low brass notes, percussion, and electric guitar.  He is back doing what he does best for the sake of his family.

The second moment is when he gets rid of the guard his own way.  Brick and company want him to kill the guard but Oliver searches for alternative ways to get rid of him.  Finally, Oliver confronts the guard and then sets him up by stabbing himself, blaming the guard.  As this happens, brass (often used to indicate heroes) punctuates the scene along with the percussion.  Oliver found a way to get remove the guard without killing him.  Elements of the hero are still there, trying to do what is right while doing anything to protect his family.

Diggle and Felicity

The team reunites for food and wince now that Felicity has reemerged from Witness Protection.  They catch up, share ideas, and toast for being back together and bringing down Diaz.  As they toast, strings and a higher electronic sound plays an altered beginning of “I forgot who I was.”  This rhythmic variation was used back for Moira and Oliver in “Never Without Me” (2x20), a flashback of Moira telling Oliver that she will always be with him.  This theme is used for family in Oliver’s life as lies often pull it apart but always seeking to put it back together.  This is another instance where Oliver’s theme is being transferred to Felicity: seeking to bring her family back together. 

(little disclaimer: there is a small possibility that they are just using the same first 5 notes in a scale in the same order and there is no significance.  But I like to think that there is) 

The higher electronic sound is one used much more frequently over the past three years for Felicity and Curtis when they are working on computers both together and separately (4x03 “Not a Playing Card”).  This instrument returns as they discover the Longbow Hunters have come to Star City.  Electronics have also become much frequently used as one of  Felicity’s instruments as Overwatch especially after her stint with Helix in Season 5.  These sounds play with strings as she begs John to let her help ARGUS find the Longbow Hunters.

Almost all of her musical elements are back as she hacks Interpol to Curtis’ dismay: fun strings, electronics, waterglasses but the melody is not the same one used over the seasons: “Two Felicities” (4x12).  While Felicity feels much more herself hacking and finding information, she is still dealing with a lot of hurt and frustration being unable to find the man responsible for Oliver being in prison and attacking herself and William.

Felicity and Diggle both search the Longbow Hunters’ lair at the same time making them both very frustrated with each other.  Diggle tells Felicity that her old life is over and she needs to accept that.  Felicity is hurt and upset that John seems to have given up on Oliver and ignoring the mission Oliver asked him to take over.  As they have this painful talk, a new string melody and chords play that are unusual in its dissonant nature.  The majority of heart-felt talks throughout Arrow are often accompanied by strings (or piano with Oliver) and the majority stays within a minor scale.  Major often sounds too happy for Arrow and melodies including chromatic half-steps, or tri-tones are often saved for Nanda Parbat or villains (such as Cupid or the Suicide Squad).  To have this dissonance in a melody between two close friends show how much things have changed in their views and also emphasizes how alone Felicity is starting to feel in her need to bring Diaz down.

In their next talk, Diggle explains why he chose not to be the Green Arrow over synthesizer pads and strings.  He saw the sacrifice it required from Oliver and Felicity and their family and did not want to put his family through that.  As he shares that he believes he is still honoring Oliver’s mission without the hood, Diggle’s motif (1x20 “No show”) in the horn plays.  It plays again as Felicity answers that she respects that decision but while Diaz is still out there, Oliver’s sacrifice will have been for nothing. The Diggle theme then plays twice as he waits for the Longbow Hunters on the train and then enters the train. 

While they were able to retrieve the battery weapon, Diaz got away.  Felicity recognizes that Diggle was honoring Oliver’s mission by keeping the world safer as piano (Oliver’s instrument) begins to play.  However, she needs to find someone who can fully focus on finding Diaz and leaves Diggle and Curtis with strings, piano, and water-glasses playing in the background.

At the end, it is revealed that Felicity turns to Samanda Watson and the FBI, calling her out for the deal that Oliver made, telling her that it is her turn to hold up her side by finding Diaz while guitar harmonics (Oliver’s instrument), percussion, and string patterns build up the tension, ending with the horn hero 1 theme.  This motif and music is often used for finishing an Arrow episode but it is also very much Oliver’s theme.  Felicity is taking up her husband’s mantle, not in a Green Hood and with arrows, but in finding justice and taking down Ricardo Diaz.

William and Roy flash-forwards

Roy and William catch up over a camp-fire with William telling Roy that Oliver and Felicity had abandoned him.  As he shares this, high electronics and strings reminiscent of “Someone You Love” (3x12) and “My Whole World Exploded” (4x08) play.  It is a sound of being left behind and the cost of those not loving you enough to tell the truth, to be with you.  A cello repetitive three note pattern begins as William reveals the GPS coordinates that went off in the hozen that led him to the Island and Roy.

Later on, Roy notices William was still around after telling him to go home.  William asks what happened with Thea and Roy shuts it down not wanting to talk about the past as his horn theme plays slowly (2x02 “Try Roy Try”).  William is persistent, insisting that the hozen led him to Roy.  Roy admits that he knows where that goes and they dig up a box/grave. As they open the box, music from the Arrow themes and instruments from the pilot plays: Oliver’s hero theme 1 in the horn, hammered dulcimer, guitar harmonics and electronics for Lian Yu.  This is clearly Oliver’s bow back on Lian Yu and now his son is picking it up.

Extra Notes:

-Diaz’s low string theme returns (first heard in 6x19) as Diggle begins to fight him on the train and then again as the train car is separated. 

-The Longbow Hunters and their theme were introduced in this episode with a high electronic theme, almost distorted.  The sound effect of the Silencer was very cool making it sound like everything was under water excepting some high held notes.

- One of the first intervals for the first Canary (Sara) and Dinah is an ascending 5th.  This appeared with different notes following as Black Siren intends to find Diaz and kill him, with Dinah right next to her trying to protect her.

- This review was my attempt at keeping things short.  LOL

- The Arrow soundtrack for Season 6 did not release this past week.  I don’t know when the new release day is but I will keep my eyes and ears open.

@ah-maa-zing @smoakmonster @mel-loves-all @scu11y22 @almondblossomme @green-arrows-of-karamel @herskirtsarentthatshort @academyofshipping @withgraceandlight99 @jorahandal @pulpklatura

[canemnecredite]

nightglass.

date: 24 december 2017, approx. 11:00 pm location: the middle of some fucking wolf-infested woods parties: adriana caninii & jackson karavadra

synopsis: Adriana drags Jax out into the woods in the middle of the night to murder him (jk not really-- OR DOES SHE??). Nah, she doesn’t lol. Enjoy some backdated Christmas Eve fluff in the midst of all this death.

@avadakaravadra

“You ready?” Adriana turned to Jax as the door to her side opened and the son of Discordia stepped out. The Christmas Eve Gala had ended nearly an hour ago now. The guests and performers had all gone, leaving the staff to handle whatever needed cleaning. She had lent Jax some of Renzo’s clothes. It was attire appropriate for hiking in the cold. This time, Adriana wasn’t going out at the risk of freezing. Most likely, anyway. “Here, take this as well,” he was handed a gladius that had been pulled from the family armory. “We’re headed about a mile outside of camp, so keep that handy.” The daughter of Mars pulled on the ends of her scarf to tighten it around her neck before she headed in the direction of the exterior gardens. They could slip down to the lake from there, then trek around the body of water onwards toward the distant woods. Throwing a glance over her shoulder, Adriana smirked. “Not nervous, are you?”

For Jax, it had been a bit tricky to convince everyone to leave him at the Caninii’s house. Nearly everyone had questioned his motives for sticking around, and he’d given them all similar implications to get them to leave him alone. Now, as he stood in Renzo’s clothes, he shifted a bit uncomfortably, not quite liking the feeling of wearing something that wasn’t his. “Ready,” he repeated, arms thrown wide to show the clothes. Jax hefted the sword in his hand, testing its weight. Then he was following after Adriana, and sending her a rather curious look. “Nervous? No. Just concerned whether or not your idea of a present would be taking me out to middle of nowhere and trying to murder me.”

“If I intended to murder you, I wouldn’t have handed you a weapon,” Adriana stated rather matter-of-factly. No, her intent was far from murderous. There was considerable danger, of course: monsters, carnivorous wildlife, simply trekking around in a remote stretch of Californian forest in the black of night… But they were individually more than adept at protecting themselves, and having one another’s back was basic military programming. As they slipped down to the lakeside, Adriana peered across the water’s glossy surface, measuring the brightness of the moon. It was waxing, but the crescent hanging above them only represented a third of the moon’s light. Enough to lead the way, though the details would not be as clear as she liked. The silver light that filtered through her eyes caused them to appear almost as if they were glowing, the green enhanced by the same effect. “And it’s not the middle of nowhere. Not to me, anyway. There are parts of it you might even recognize, but-- most people forget.”

“You never know. Maybe you want me to have the semblance of safety so you can really get me by surprise.” Perhaps joking about murdering one another wasn’t the most typical conversation for two people who were sleeping together... but it seemed to work for the two of them. It only made sense, seeing as they had similarly dark and shady pasts. Nevertheless, as they came upon the lake, Jax’s gaze instinctively turned towards the sky, searching for the stars he’d grown rather fond of over the years. Their reflections danced in the water, making for a rather lovely effect. Tonight, Canis Major was rather bright, and Jax couldn’t help but wonder at whether it was simply coincidence that he was in the presence of a Caninii. “Aren’t you a special snowflake,” he teased, though he was genuinely curious about where it was she was leading him. The strength of the moonlight didn’t much matter to Jax, as his practically perfect night vision courtesy of Nox helped him avoid any rocks that might try to trip him along the way... as well as anything more sinister. Though he supposed it did bathe Adriana in a rather flattering light.

“Maybe. Not that I’d inform you either way.” Adriana rather liked their morbid sense of humor. True, it would have been odd for most, but it was the darkest elements of their natures that had bonded the pair of them together as confidants, and teasing that reality was both a reminder of the very fact and a slight balm to the sins that might have otherwise haunted their conscience. While the atmosphere was beautiful, she wasn’t paying it the admiration that she normally would. They had a place to be, and Adriana wanted to get there well before the rise of the sun. “Special is a matter of perspective,” she shrugged and picked up her pace as they neared the opposite bank of the lake. “Now keep up, will you? We’ve got a ways to go yet.”

In the twenty or so minutes later that Adriana and Jax had reached the camp’s border, she paused to turn around and regard him. “You trust me?” Her eyes searched his for an answer, but honestly, she already knew it without having to seek for it. Asking merely reinforced her confidence. “Stay close. Keep your senses open. There’s a lot of activity in these woods at night. A single lapse in guard could get you killed.” A grin flashed at him. “Personally, I think it adds to the thrill.”

“I would hope not. You’d have me questioning your abilities in a heartbeat.” Jax continued after Adriana, his steps making only the slightest of sounds, his movements nearly completely silent as he continued onwards. Such was another added perk of being a descendant of the night, he was nearly undetectable during it. He was once again tempted to look towards the sky, as he always was when beneath the shining stars, but he knew this not to be the time as dangers were becoming more and more of a threat as they neared the camp border. “You do realize I was making fun of you, right?” For a moment, Adriana’s question threw him. It was always a shock to remember exactly how much he trusted the daughter of Mars when trust hadn’t been the most prominent sentiment in his life. Not when Jefferson had taught his children that danger was lurking behind every smile, including his own.  It was a fact that Adriana was only below his siblings in trust... though Cat’s had been rickety as of late. “Would I be here if I didn’t trust you?”

His words had been sincere and meaningful, but his tone quickly turned to annoyed as Adriana spoke her warning. “Please tell me you haven’t gotten amnesia and suddenly think I’m some probatio that’s never been in the forest before, or held a sword in their life. Don’t insult me to imply that I’m anything less than constantly aware. Save that for your Legionnaires.” But his features softened in the slightest as her smile shined once more. It was becoming quite a problem the effect such a sight had on him.

Trust was an odd phenomena. For most individuals, it took years to build; but, for a rare few, it could be determined within moments of meeting a person, an instantaneous sense that went far deeper than logic. Adriana could have said that her trust in Jax had stemmed from a near lifetime of familiarity-- which was true, though not the source of her faith in him. He had been one of the few. They had met so young, and yet, she had always felt, for some inexplicable reason, that he was worth sticking to. So when he answered in the way that he did, that his presence would be ridiculous if he didn't trust her, she couldn't keep the little smile off of her face.

His defense against her warning coaxed the slightest chortle from her, with a teasing smirk to match. "Ooh, are you sure? Because it's my recollection that thus far, every instance of our newfound activities was at least in part triggered by my insults toward you." Slowly, she backed up past the treeline, her smirk growing in a taunting manner. The activity she was hinting at wasn't remotely her intention for dragging him all the way out here, but it could be fun, couldn't it? Just frustrating him with the thought. It was a powerful new angle of trickery that she was all too ready to explore. "Unless you've already changed your mind, but something tells me that's not the case." Her fingers dropped to drum on the pommel of the sword at her hip, a restless quirk that spoke of her alertness as she continued to move backwards into the shadows.

Jax couldn’t very well remember a time when he hadn’t known Adriana. Their meeting had been young, and she had simply been a staple of his growing up as well as life. Perhaps that had been why it’d hit him so hard when she’d refused to complete her Cult task, resulting in her being banned from their shared underground organization. Suddenly he’d been seeing much less of her, and it quickly became apparent that he didn’t enjoy such an arrangement. Her smile garnered one of his in return, yet another thing that was becoming the usual between them.

“Newfound activities? Is that what we’re calling it?” he said with amusement. “You make us sound like a summer camp or something. Last time I checked, fucking like rabbits wasn’t an approved camp activity.” Had she brought him out here just to screw him under the night sky? To be honest, he wouldn’t be disappointed in the least with such a thing. But she’d already said at the party that such a reason wasn’t her true one for bringing him out here. Though... there was a part of him that was wondering how negotiable that term was. The shadows of the forest already seemed to be reaching for Jax, wanting to be joined with one who stemmed from a, quite literally, dark heritage. Who was he to deny them and Adriana? “But by your logic, that means that I’m supposed to jump your bones now, doesn’t it?” He made a playful dash towards Adriana, as if trying to catch her.

"And since when have we really followed the rules?" A smirk plastered itself on Adri's face as she waited for Jax to join her, but there was one little thing stuck on her mind-- more of a word, actually. Us. Sure, in mention of their relationship as friends, co-centurions, or merely in general, that word was nothing special. However, their relationship was much different now, and Adriana had to wonder if the context of 'us' had changed with it. His dash had come at the perfect time.

In alignment with her childhood moniker, Adriana took to the forest like a young deer. All demigods possessed a faster, stronger nature than your average mortal, but the children of Mars were made to be warriors -- stronger, quicker, swifter -- the latter an edge in which Adriana was particularly gifted. Jax may have had the advantage in sight, but she was light on her feet and she knew her way along these paths as well as the halls of her own home. She let the rush of the run wash over her, let her thoughts fade as muscle memory took hold. Whether or not Jax recognized their surroundings, these were the trails frequented by Lupa's pack. Adriana had used them many times, often alongside the wolves when she wasn't fleeing from them in a drill. As the Fates would have it, a howl broke out in the distance, then a chorus of them, and as the silver light of the moon lit the way, she flashed a grin to herself.

"Remember these woods at all?" She called back at him with playful curiosity, her pace unwavering. "Lupa loves to run her pupils here. Most of them never returned, understandably. But-- I rather like it. There's quite a few attractions out here that you wouldn't expect."

The connotations of such a weighted word had flown entirely over Jax’s head, as he’d only been speaking the way he always did with Adriana. Candidly. She was the single person he was most free to speak with however he might like. Though his siblings were, of course, another two he trusted most in the world— it wasn’t entirely the same. With them, he had to think about his responsibility to them, his responsibility to the family. And things had only grown more complicated as of late, what with Leo’s support of the Greeks and Cat’s past poisoning. He hadn’t been able to voice his mind as easily as he wished he could, but the exception had always been Adriana. She’d seen almost all the parts of him, understood better than most what it was to be in a family such as the ones they’d been born into, and yet she’d never made him feel as if he needed to be anything more than who he was. When almost all of his life had been spent trying to live up to others’ expectations, Adriana’s company was refreshing, somewhat of an oasis in the midst of it.

And as he sprinted after her deeper into the woods, he found himself wishing his distant Mercury heritage was a bit closer to the bottom of the family tree. Perhaps then he’d be able to overtake her after her bit of a head start. But as howls filled the air, Jax could barely believe his ears. Instantly, he was transported back to a simpler time. Certainly, some might not look back on their days with Lupa fondly, and easy was certainly not a word that should be applied to them, but Jax hadn’t minded his time with the she-wolf’s pack. Having waited an entire two years alone at home, without Cat or Leo to keep him company after they’d gone on to join the Legion hadn’t been the most happy of days, as was to be expected when one was the sole child in the house of someone who demanded utter perfection. He’d been placed under the microscope that was Jefferson, and been determinedly taught exactly what was expected of him, day after day, month after month. In addition, he’d lost the only people who’d been there to bear their father with him. Cat and Leo.

“Of course I remember them!” he called out, as memories of sprinting through them either for survival or leisure came rushing towards his mind’s eye. For a moment he felt the same as he had then. Not happy, but content, an improvement from what he’d been without Cat and Leo in his father’s home. Though Lupa hadn’t been kind, she hadn’t been cruel, simply practical. And the she-wolf’s rules had been much less convoluted and easier to follow than Jefferson’s, rules of fighting and survival rather than the mind games the Karavadra patriarch was so fond of playing. And for the first time since Cat and Leo had left, he’d truly felt a part of something. Perhaps something should be said for having preferred a wolf’s den rather than his father’s home at the time, but he didn’t think on it. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel as if this was somewhat of a reunion. He was one of those that hadn’t returned, but that was simply because he hadn’t seen the point in trying to go back to something that should be left in the past if he wanted to make something of the future, as well as knowing that even if he had made an attempt to frequent the forest things could never be truly as they’d been, though with Adriana running just in front of him— it felt as similar as he imagined it could have. After all, were they not in a way part of a pack? They ran in such similar circles, and paired with his trust and comfort with her— it’d only make sense to feel such a similar sensation of camaraderie with her to that of when he’d been with Lupa. “So are we following the rules tonight?” he queried in her direction, his long legs still propelling him at an impressive speed after her.

Lupa was a staple in the life of every legionnaire. No one made it into the ranks of the Legion without first passing her trials-- ruthless ones, often. Adriana did not doubt that Jax remembered his time with Lupa; his memory of the woods, however, she had felt it necessary to question. He remembered them. But did he remember them or did he know them? Though she couldn't say for sure, Adriana had a feeling that Jax hadn't been back here since he had been welcomed into Camp. He was a practical person, and a practical person would have no reason to come wander about a wood where wolves and monsters roamed freely.

Certainly then, that said something about Adri. Whether it was her descendancy from Luna, her uniquely familiar relationship with canines-- even as a child --or another instinct entirely, some natural force within her had drawn her back to this place time and time again. Lupa and her pack had been everything Adriana had ever wanted at the formative age of eleven. A family. One that continued to challenge her growth as a warrior yet allowed her to roam freely and explore her place and identity in their world, rather than confining her to strict expectations and future roles. Lupa was by no means cuddly, but the daughter of Mars was convinced that she cared about the young ones who came to her house -- at least those who arrived with the intention of accepting her training. Lupa had raised Romulus and Remus, not only the founders of Rome, but Adriana's historical siblings. She had taken the girl as a young pup no differently than the rest of her pupils, and that inclusion had made her hesitant to leave the pack she had found.

She had a new pack now -- her cohort, her small circle of trusted friends and family. Though, none of those connections were as natural hers to Jax, what with all the dark secrets and lifelong familiarity they shared. "I don't know," she glanced back at him with a grin. "That depends on how soon we reach what we've come for." A bit of airy laughter tumbled from her throat. The moon was a good week from full, but bled just enough light through the canopy that Adriana's nocturnal vision had no issue watching for hazards in their path. She knew this route by heart, as untouched as it was; however, one couldn't trust the forest to remain clear and static. Thankfully, the few fallen trees and animal encounters caused them no issue, and within minutes, their destination was in sight.

Adriana came to a sudden stop at the edge of a cliff, extending an arm to catch Jax just in case he wasn't quite as prepared as she was. Down below, fed into by a small stream on either side, was a cave nestled around the bend from their current spot. "Alright, we're almost there," she turned to him with a well restrained shimmer of excitement in her eyes. "But, before we continue, I have one condition-- you have to keep your eyes shut. No peeking. Think you can handle that?"

They came up onto the edge of the cliff faster than expected, but Jax’s perfect night vision was more than enough for him to see the drop off that was fast approaching, and for a moment he had the ludicrous thought that Adriana might not stop. A brief flicker of panic went through him. Though he knew it ridiculous to think she might launch herself over the side without guarantee of a safe landing, he couldn’t help but be worried, not when she’d grown to mean so much to him. But then she stopped with her arm outstretched, and he too came to a halt just before her arm. The realization that he’d been ready to jump off the cliff after her startled him. Did he truly trust Adriana that much? Or had he been devising a way of trying to save her should her jump go wrong? The fact that he’d be so ready to run after her without a fully formed plan was… disturbing. He’d never been an impulsive person, but adding Adriana into the mix always seemed to throw him for a loop.

Nevertheless, his lips turned upwards into the beginnings of a smile as she turned towards him, the excitement in her eyes all too endearing. “I knew you brought me out here to kill me.” Was all he said before closing his eyes. He’d already proven he was foolish enough to trust Adriana entirely what with the cliff situation. “Just do me a favor and give me one last kiss before you push me over the edge. I deserve to have something sweet on my lips as I fall to my death.” he teased.

“Well, I didn’t think you would submit so easily,” Adriana teased in return, glad to play along. There was a long hum that passed through her lips, as if she was contemplating whether or not to grant him his kiss, but finally, because of his obedience to her order of shut eyes, she puffed out a sigh. “I suppose I can grant you your last wish, but only because you’ve been so compliant.” Stepping forward, she found his hand and held it, pressing down on it and up on her toes to plant a short, light kiss on his lips. It was broken by a faint giggle in advance of her pulling back, but despite their separation, she kept his hand firmly in her grasp. “There. Now keep those eyes shut or I’m really going to abandon you out in the cold to die.”

In no time at all, Adriana was leading him down a narrow path on the cliffside, guiding him over the small stream, and dragging him with her into the pitch blackness of the cave. Well-- not entirely pitch blackness. It took a few minutes’ descent through the tunnels before the pair stepped out into a great cavern. On either side of them, the two streams from outside fed into larger pools. The sound of trickling water echoed from there and the occasional drops from the stalactites above tapped upon the craggy ground. About twenty feet in front of them, a thin sliver of moonlight broke through the ground and cave roof above. This was the spot at which they paused. However, the real surprise remained concealed in the darkness, and it would be her instruction for Jax that truly revealed why she had chosen to take him out so far beyond the border.

“Alright,” Adriana dipped down to pick something up off the ground, opening his now formerly held hand to place the object there. It was roughly palm-sized, cold to the touch, smooth yet uneven, the edges sharp, though she was quick to warn him of that feature. “Don’t squeeze. These are wicked sharp and I would much prefer not having to stitch your hand in the wilderness.” Carefully, she moved around him and settled her hands on his shoulders, urging him forward a step. “On my word, extend your arm and open your eyes. Preferably in that order.” She was nervous now, chewing on the inside of her cheek as her mind flooded with questions of whether or not he’d appreciate it, if it was too trivial, or something he saw as nothing new, but it was too late to go back now. With a final release of breath, she peered around his side in preparation to observe his reaction. “Ready? Okay-- now.”

The completion of the action that she had given him placed the object in his palm just at the edge of the ray of moonlight. The face was already angled, and thus proved the perfect mirror to direct that light towards the darker cavern walls ahead of them. A scattered deposit of volcanic glass reflected the silver in a million tiny specks, transforming their surroundings into a radiant sea of stars that, although artificial, made it appear as if they stood at the center of a galaxy. Gently, she removed the shard of obsidian from his hand and set it in a little nook in the ground that she had fashioned to preserve the illusion and allow them the freedom of movement. “I know it’s not material,” she approached him with bashful, quick words on her tongue, “but I’ve been in awe of this place since the day that I found it, and I’ve never-- you’re the first person I’ve brought here. I usually come alone whenever I need to get away for awhile. So, I thought you might be able to make use of it as well.” Adriana fiddled with her fingers near her waist, swallowing in anticipation. “What do you think?”

Adriana’s hand was a welcome feeling in Jax’s and as she pressed a kiss to his lips, he was more than pleased that Adriana had indulged him. As always, part of him simply wanted to live in their kiss, create a home there where he and Adriana could stay for quite a while— away from the world and all its demands. But her kiss was fleeting, and a sigh of disappointment left him. A moment later, her giggle had him feeling the strongest urge to open his eyes. He wanted to see the smile that went with such a laugh. Instead he was obedient, somewhat pouting that he hadn’t gotten to see the grin he’d become so fond of. Still in a flirty and teasing mood he replied, “But I could never die of cold after your kiss just warmed me.” It was purposefully disgustingly cheesy, either designed to make her scoff or laugh… or both.

The walk most likely seemed longer than it should have with his eyes closed, though soon enough Adriana was speaking once more. He followed her directions carefully, his brow drawing together as he tried to discern what exactly it was that she’d handed him. It felt like some sort of rock, thought he couldn’t be sure as she’d warned him of its sharp edges. But then certainly it must be a rock? The entire thing was rather mysterious, and Jax was eager to open his eyes when Adriana gave the word. As he did so, he flinched slightly in shock as bright lights danced over his night-attuned vision. But then, as Adriana affixed the rock to its place, and his eyes adjusted to the light, a look of wonder came over him. As a young boy, he’d had dreams of being an astronaut, before duty and the words of Jefferson had banished such foolish thoughts from his mind. Only his family had known of his secret wish, and he couldn’t help but imagine this was what it might be like to actually be amongst the stars— his dream fulfilled. The fact that it was a private place for Adriana only made it all the more special, and his eyes flit to her, trailing the faux stars that were dancing across her features.

A large smile had worked its way across his features as he went to her, going to take her writhing hands in his own to calm them before trying to bring them to join behind his neck. “It’s— it’s beautiful.” Perhaps it was an overused word, but the word to best describe his own state was most appropriately… starstruck. He was rendered somewhat speechless in awe, a feat in itself, and he couldn’t help the warmth that seemed to be stemming from his heart as the realization of Adriana wanting to share this special place with him took hold. “And it’s perfect.”

From the look of wonderment on his face, Adriana presumed that her short expedition had proved an appropriate Christmas gift; but, it wasn’t until he came to take her hands that the wave of relief washed over her. Her hands secured themselves behind Jax’s neck and a smile, though smaller than his, lit up her features. “Perfect,” she reiterated, moving a half step closer to him. Like before, she stretched up on her toes to compliment the surprise with a gentle kiss. A few of her fingers slipped into his hair and remained there, scratching and curling harmlessly even when her feet rested flat on the ground once more.

“I’ve been coming here for years,” she told him in an almost whisper. “I was looking for a place to lay low during one of Lupa’s survival drills. I never expected to find anything like this.” For a few moments, her sight diverted to admire their surroundings in slightly greater detail. “This wasn’t the only thing drawing me back, though…” The last line slipped out as an afterthought, perhaps triggered subconsciously. However, with a blink and the dart of her eyes back to his, it was temporarily stowed away. Her smile returned. “So, what now?” She tilted her head as a curious glimmer flickered in the corners of her polychrome gaze. “It is your present. It’s only right I permit you to choose how the rest of your time here is spent.”

Jax wondered briefly if he’d ever get tired of Adriana’s lips on his own, but it seemed that the answer was continuously doubtful of such a thing happening. He hadn’t even had to ask for a kiss this time, apparently she’d known well enough that he wanted one, and he had been preparing to give her one himself, but she’d beat him to the draw. Not that he was complaining in the least. The hand in his hair was something that relaxed him tremendously, it being one of Jax’s favorite feelings in the world, and he responded by tracing the little constellations that were made by the moon and the rock on Adriana’s face with the pad of his thumb.

At her offer of him choosing their next activity, he could only guess that she’d be expecting something of the usual from him, along the lines of a rather risque and suggestive request. But he surprised himself as well when he instead loosened the arm around her waist ever so lightly, and went to shift one of her hands from the back of his neck to his shoulder before moving to take the other one into his own hand. “It seems like a lovely venue for a dance, don’t you think?” He said with a smile, remembering fondly how he’d asked her something similar when New Rome had, quite literally, been burning to the ground.

Adriana had always been a quick learner. Although she hadn’t been studying the subject consciously, she had adopted the instinct to press her lips to those of the man in front of her whenever the atmosphere was correct. Their intimacy was quickly becoming second nature to her, yet she wouldn’t dare recognize it. People like them weren’t supposed to get attached… but maybe if she told herself this was nothing, that rule wouldn’t matter. At least, not tonight.

The gentle brush of his thumb resulted in a smile, which subsequently completed their kiss. She followed the constellation he traced on her cheek for the short time it lasted, then lifted her eyes -- the green in them particularly striking against the silver light -- back to where they had been in anticipation of his response. Had she been expecting a risque answer from him? Perhaps. The request of a dance wasn’t entirely new; nevertheless, as he repositioned their stance, that smile of hers grew ever so slightly. She remembered the last time he’d asked for her hand. They had shared a moment of peace against a flaming horizon before she had tripped and fallen into him due to injury. It was about time she made up for that blunder. Her hand folded softly in acceptance of his own. “I do.” With a small step backward, she ushered the pair of them into motion. “But let’s hope I don’t lose my footing this time.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

EMINEM FT. BEYONCÉ - WALK ON WATER [2.40] This is the lowest score Beyoncé has ever received from us... wonder how that happened...

Rachel Bowles: The combination of crackling sound effects and Eminem spitting out expletives under his breath have the effect of sounding like he's doing some tricky home improvement and keeps catching his thumb with a hammer or fucking up the wallpaper. There's probably some interesting meditation on celebrity worship in this indulgent navel gazing somewhere, but it's hidden pretty well by uninspired piano and poor lyrics. Is there really room in 2017 for "spazzing the fuck out"? One would hope not. Though Beyoncé is generously, softly serenading us, "I'm only human just like you" like a lullaby about a universe where we're on Bey's Goddess level. The closing "Bitch, I wrote Stan" is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Ultimately, this song genuinely makes me lol. [3]

Ian Mathers: In honour of dril getting doxxed, let's just say this feels a lot like Em screaming "I'm not owned! I'm not owned!" as he shrinks into a rapper who isn't fun to listen to at all. (To those questioning whether that was ever not the case: I feel you.) No idea what Beyoncé is doing here but 1. she would fit in fine on a much better song 2. she can't save the rest of this one. Plus one for her but minus one for that ending. [2]

Will Adams: "Bitch, I wrote 'Stan,'" he spits at the end, as if the pen-to-paper sound effects weren't trying to make sure we knew through the whole song. "Stan" this is not, and it doesn't help that Eminem manages a few moving moments about doubting oneself's creativity only to drop "retarded" two breaths later. His tea's gone cold, I wonder why. [2]

Alfred Soto: A grim, hectoring track delivered with relative precision doesn't change the fact that I don't want this grim, hectoring rapper blowing onion breath in my face. Skylar Grey's regressive hook assumes Beyoncé has done nothing quietly revolutionary in the last four years.  [4]

Will Rivitz: Rule number one of making good hip-hop: don't emulate Watsky. Rule number two of making good hip-hop: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T EMULATE WATSKY. Rule number three of making good hip-hop: if your song's instrumental component sounds like it could accompany a B-tier Adele song, you're probably doing something wrong. Rule number four of making good hip-hop: try to get Beyoncé on your hook. Rule number five of making good hip-hop: don't waste Beyoncé on your hook. "Walk On Water" follows exactly one of these five rules, so I think the proportional rating bestowed here is appropriate. [2]

Leonel Manzanares: Inexplicable but always welcome Queen Bey feature aside, this feels like the hip-hop equivalent of "I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I am with isn't it and what is it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you!" [4]

Joshua Copperman: One of the top comments on the YouTube video reads "just compare this lyrical masterpiece with 'the ting goes skkkrrraah, pap pap ka-ka-ka.'" If it is true that Migos>Beatles, then clearly Beatles : Migos :: Eminem : Big Shaq. [4]

Claire Biddles: Yikes, where to start -- The none-more-earnest paper-ripping sound effects? The use of not one but two ableist slurs? The 17 hour 43 minute length? Is Marsh writing his own off-Broadway jukebox musical, and is this a third act segue? Almost unprecedentedly bad. [1]

Thomas Inskeep: This death march is so dire that not even Queen B can liven it up. (And what's she doing here, anyway? She is so far above playing hook singer for 2000's great white hope.) Like he has on every record he's made in the past decade, Eminem sounds angry, out of breath, and most importantly out of ideas. I mean, say what you want about his politics, but at least Kid Rock still has a sense of fun about himself. Em is the audio version of a scowl. [0]

Scott Mildenhall: Well, it wouldn't be Eminem if he didn't kick off with a joke single, would it? If that's not him audibly attempting to rewrite the bizarre chorus at the same time as Beyoncé sings it, it should be; otherwise, it must surely be the penning of an angry letter to the producers for having left early. Some very talented and successful musicians have worked on this, and on one level, credit to them: it comfortably meets its apparent ambitions in reaffirming that none of them are above it. [2]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[yarnandthyme]

hey :) have you tried dyeing anything with cherries? I tried to dye some knitted coasters this afternoon expecting them to turn out pink but they turned out like a lavender/gray. This is my first time dyeing anything so I thought you might know more than I do/what I could've done wrong haha

I've only solar dyed with cherries so far. I've mostly only been solar dyeing but I'll try to help the best I can! The main thing I'm thinking is, did you use any mordants? Some fibers require different mordants but theres charts online for what fibers and what mordants to use. Mordants help the fiber take in the dye and help make it colorfast.The second thing, maybe a ph modifier would help if you did use a mordant. The main thing that brings the color out in natural dyeing is ph. Black beans for example will be more of a purple dye with an alkaline ph but with different ph, the color will turn more blue or possibly green. If your wanting to do more natural dyeing and want to control the colors better, I suggest getting some ph test strips from a pet store (they typically carry them for aquariums). It also helps to know what ph your water is straight from the tap. Some people also go as far to collect rain water since it has less minerals in to to effect the ph.Another thing is natural dyes work better with natural fibers. While I have been able to dye wool with some nylon content in it, it did turn out more muted because of the nylon fibers.When it comes to dyeing with berries, it can kinda be a lil tricky. The color depends on how ripe the berries are. I found that when I dyed with wild cherries, the ones that had already fallen off the tree and begun to go soft yielded a better color. I hope that made sense, I tried to break it into sections and keep it to the point. Natural dyeing can be pretty unpredictable, but keeping the things I listed above in mind helps keep it less of a surprise. lol I highly encourage you to keep playing around with natural dyes! Its super fun, good for the environment and who doesnt want to dye things themselves, right? 😜 I hope this helped!(Also I hope its alright I'm publishing this, if you want me to remove it I can but I thought this might help someone else too!)