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zaceouiswriting · 2 years

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Maturing of Superman

Character: Clark Kent (Kal-El) x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in DC

Warnings: Angst

It wasn’t the first time. But the most significant one for you. Still you kept a strong face in public and just ate. Sitting alone at a table for two, on you anniversary. Not one year or something like this, but your five years wedding anniversary and fifteen years of being together.

You and your husband became a couple at the age of fifteen. He was sweet, caring, a total giver in any understanding of this word. Helping on his parents farm and later as you learned, saving peoples lives in extremely tight pants.

More than one time, you two got intimate with him still wearing his costume. You found it somewhat hot.

What you didn’t liked, was him leaving you alone all the time. Bailing on important days for you or you two as a couple. But you could never be really mad, because he did impossible good things.

Still you were hurt and even when Clark saw it, he was unable to make anything better. He tried, god how he tried to be a better husband. Every time when it seemed, as if everything could be as you both hoped it could, he got an alert. Now besides his normal hero duty, also from the justice league.

It made you bitter, that everyone seemed to get more of your husband than you. And still you waited at that table for two hours. Ate your own meal and even drank one glass of wine. But after those two hours, you left. With the restaurant still in full swing. After paying, you got an taxi and got back home.

As always it was silent and empty, not a single light was on. You missed the easier days, where no one knew about Clarks powers and superman wasn’t born yet. The ones you had with Clark on his family farm, playing and fooling around in the fields. His parents are the absolute best, accepting him and you as a couple like there is no tomorrow.

Which was entirely different, at how your parents saw it. They were angry, that you are gay and would never give them any grandchildren. Easy to say, that you haven’t talked to them in years.

You really wanted to talk to someone about all of this, about your feelings. But everyone was always in Clarks side, because he was this perfect man.

It saddened you even more than before. As the big piano in your living room came in your sight, you knew you had to play again. After your older brothers death, you hadn’t touched any instrument. He was a concert pianist, a amazing one at that. And he actually had children with his girlfriend, which your parents, don’t get to see, after how horrible they treated her. He gave you his piano and his girlfriend and you became fast friends, after it. As most others, the two hadn’t spoken to you much, to not get into your parents wrath.

Out of the grave, he finally showed you, how much you mattered to him. Sometimes you spoke to him at his grave, as your last confidant, but he couldn’t help you. So his instrument does this for you. It was as your hands knew which button to press. The melody showed your melancholy and hopelessness of the situation you were in. The music sounded a while in your living room. Especially the last note, echoed trough it.

„What happened?“, the sudden voice didn't even affect you anymore. At this point you expected it almost.

„Fifteen and five years, Clark. What does these two numbers tell you?“, you asked him without turning around. Hearing him shuffle around and trying to get near you, finally got you out of your seat.

Your eyes bloodshot, you haven’t even noticed that you had cried. It wasn’t until Clark tried to dry your cheeks, that you saw it yourself. Uncharacteristic you swatted his hand away, looking angrily up at him.

„Fifteen years ago, on this exact date, you asked me to be your boyfriend. In a town full of intolerant people. You made me feel special and wanted. Five years ago, we married in a beautiful ceremony. Surrounded by all our loved once. Even my brother and his girlfriend. Also on this exact date. And where were you?“

The horrified look, he always had when you confronted him about something important he missed, was the same every fucking time. You hated this look with a passion. Because it was as everything besides his hero work, is just stupid and unimportant. Easy to just change.

But if you had the choice, between your planet getting destroyed or one date with your husband, you would always choose him. The world is meaningless to you without him. Sadly it was only this way around.

„I can fix it, how about we celebrate tomorrow? I take leave at work and say the justice league that I-“ You stopped him right then and there. Holding your hand out, in hopes he just would stop speaking.

„You can’t fix this Clark. How many times do I need to tell you, that I feel neglected? That I feel worthless in comparison to everything else in your life? Yes, I married you knowing, what it could mean. But to be this disrespected? Almost everyday? The last full date we were on, is almost seven years ago. You even left our honeymoon early and didn't showed up again.“

All this bottle upped feelings, slowly came out. You feared, that you would actually explode and scream in his face. But you did not have the energy for this.

„I will sleep in the guest room. Good night.“ And you just left him. Sleep did not come to you easily that night. Nightmares haunted you, one of them was the man sleeping in your bedroom. At some point in the night, you just gave up, left your home and drove to your office. After school you did not go to college like Clark, but opened your own business. Today it’s just short behind Wayne Enterprise in revenue.

But you are not as invested anymore than you used to. Just in hope to get more time with Clark, what obviously never happened. The night workers, were surprised, but happy to see you working in their shift again too. You even brought food with you.

Late in the morning, around ten, you came back home, with Clark pacing through it like a maniac. As he heard the front door open, he immediately came to you, anger visible on his face, „Where were you? I was concerned, as I hadn’t seen you in the guest room, after I wanted to bring you breakfast.“

You could only roll with your eyes, „If nothing will change Clark, I will divorce you.“ It was the first time, you actually threatened with this. He always thought, that you were meant to be and something like this would never happen. He saw your hurt, but never would’ve thought it ran so deep. In this exact moment, he stepped way down on his duties. Only did the most important things. Newer, younger heroes overtook the day to day problems. While he almost exclusively worked with the league and you worked full time back at your own company.

Life became better. At least for a short while. A year later, you were miserable again. Clark despite only being with the league, was now out more often than before. His missions got longer and „more important“. While in his abstinence your company took the lead in your race with Bruces company.

With no satisfaction in the end. Your life became more miserable everyday. Not even the young heroes, which had included you in some degree, could help fill this void.

It wasn’t until Clark became one day a massage. You did not let him go alone though. You met the rest of the league. Expect for Diana, did not speak to any of them. And also only, because she could understand you.

As you learned, why you were there, you instantly bolted. You ran trough the compound, searching for this person. At some point, you came into a room, with a one way window.

„He looks exactly like Clark,“ you mumbled under your breath, as you watched the young man fiddling with his fingers. He even does the same, when he was nervous.

Before anyone could really noticed that you were gone, you already had entered the room with him. „Hey, my name is (Y/N), and yours?“, you asked him nicely.

He looked taken aback but still answered, „I-I don’t-have a name.“ Stumbled over his words. Obviously not trained in speaking at all. He reminded you on all the innocent traits your husband had, when he was younger.

„How about Connor? Everyone needs one Connor in their lives,“ you told him jokingly. It was your brothers name. And you were right. Everyone needs one in their lives.

A bright smile, formed on his face, that was so much like Clarks. You did not know where he came from or what happened, but he seemed to be a brother of his.

„(Y/N), would you please come out here?“, you heard the only female voice calling out for you, from the door.

„Please excuse me Connor, I think they need something from me. We talk later, okay?“ You softly laid your hand over his, to ease his nerves. His eyes widened, and shortly after softened up, nodding at your words.

Not long after, you left the room, smiling at Diana. But as you left, the entire group, was furious with you. Especially Clark, who seemed to took it as a form of betrayal.

They told you what Connor was. You felt bad for him. But as Clark told you, that he doesn’t want to do anything to do with him, you got furious instead.

„What the fuck is wrong with you?“, you screamed in his face, „I can’t even see the man I married anymore! As if isn’t enough to completely ignore the vows you took to me, on a daily basis. Ignoring my feelings, to the point that I’m actually suicidal and now you won’t even help someone who is like you? Who has part of your DNA, because he didn’t want him? My brother didn’t wanted me as a child either. Still he was there for me. We will take him with us, if you want or not. At least, I will have a part of you near me!“

You stormed back into the room, talking further with Connor. He seemed distraught, but was happy to see you again nevertheless. The league on the other hand, was utterly stunned. You never had raised your voice in your life or threw accusations like this. And the men could not see why all of this was a problem.

Diana nearly ripped them a new one. Explaining everything in detail. Clark was on eggshells after this. Trying to make everything up to you. But you were preoccupied with Connor. Helping him with his speech, schooling him, bringing the right morals into his life, but especially trying to get as much of you and Clark in him, before anything from Luther could shine trough.

He became almost a brother to you. But you saw him as your brother in law, which was enough for you. But he saw you as his father, which brought a lot of problems in your relationship with Clark. Even when he was training him, to not get a divorce with you, he couldn’t stand him.

Not because he was so close to you, but because he was born. He tried to tell you that clones weren’t looked upon fondly on Krypton. You needed to remind him, that he wasn’t there anymore and your world does not has a stance on this just yet.

For a while everything seemed fine for you. Clark got finally the same treatment he gave you all the time and it broke him. Something in him.

You saw it but decided to ignore it. Just as he did to you. Until he came home one evening. With dissolved hair and crumbled clothes. His eyes were empty, sadness and guilt all over his face. One look was enough for you.

„What happened?“, you asked coldly. Even ice would be envy on you for the way your voice sounded.

„I-I slept with Lois.“

Your world crumbled just as your husband clothes did. You asked Bruce for the kryptonite. But he wouldn’t just give it to you. So you brought some of the black market a day later and again a week later, you had build it in a glove.

Clark had not left the house since his encounter with Lois, so it was easy to get him. You punched him so many times, so hard, that his face was completely rearranged, the moment Connor pulled you off of him. Because he was only half Kryptonian, the mineral did not effect him as much.

After you realized what had happened and that Connor also had problems with the thing on your hand, you got it destroyed. Completely destroyed, not thrown away.

Finally, after this, Clark understood how you felt all the time. That he was weak and you being the real saint in your relationship, even with your aggressive outburst. You took this bullshit for almost two decades and yes, complained but never cheated. Even if you could’ve.

You had two terms, for you keep being married. Him quitting his job and putting his costume away. From this day onwards, you would have the last say, if and when he could put it on again.

And it worked. This was until Lois came to our home, telling you two she was pregnant. You screamed at both of them. At what horrible disgusting people they were. You gave her two options. Terminate her parental rights, directly after birth and move away or you would destroy her life completely.

She was shocked, but Clark at this point said nothing. He was happy, that you hadn’t left him yet. So he he did not wanted to rock the boat more. But Lois tried to involve him. „You fucked a married man, what did you expect? To get everything you want? You are delusional. So make your choice!“

As the baby was born it was another boy. You and Clark named him after Clarks father. And Lois vanished after this. Couple of years later, you gave Clark his costume back, with the warning, that anything happens again, like years ago, you would take both of your boys and cut him off completely. Now he knew, that nothing you ever says is just an empty threat, so he became the best husband, bigger brother and father, anyone could asked for.

#Clark Kent x male reader #Clark Kent imagine #Kol-El x male reader #Kol-El imagine #dc x male reader #dc imagine #x male reader #male reader

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jade-04 · 2 years

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Dove (Part 3)

first part | part 2 | part 4

Summary: Dustin Henderson’s older sister finds herself in a predicament having to choose between Steve “the Hair” Harrington and Eddie “the Freak” Munson

a/n: Hi! It took me a bit to write this part because of how busy I've been getting ready for school, so I'm not 100% on how I feel about this part, so yea.

taglist: @happiejoon

Warnings: mainly just swearing, thats about it. (I think...)

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As you hopped into your car, you noticed that it was a little past 8:00 meaning Steve and Robin should still be having movie night for another hour. Tonight, it was at Steve’s house, so you put your keys into the ignition and made your way over there. The drive wasn’t too long, it had been about 10 minutes and you were already pulling in to Steve’s driveway and luckily enough, Robin’s bike was still sitting outside. You turned the car off and headed up to the door to be let it in. You rang the doorbell a few times before it opened.

“(Y/N)! You’re here! Steve! She’s here!” Robin said ecstatically wrapping you in a hug. “And you’re just in time,” She said releasing you. “ Steve was starting to get all mopey about his love life.”

“Well if she’s here, Robin, why don’t you let her in?” Steve chimed in from the living room.

“Sorry sorry sorry.” Robin said shaking her head a little and opening the door. “Come on in!”

The living room wasnt too far from the front door, so you could hear Ghostbusters blaring right as you walked in. Steve was chilling in the arm chair almost mesmerized by the movie when you walked in.

“(Y/N), so glad you could make it.” He sounded irritated and you could understand why. You did bail on him and Robin for movie night, but you still showed up. Yes, about an hour into the movie, but you were still there.

“C’mon, Steve,” you whined “You cant be mad at me forever.” Knowing him, he could probably hold a grudge for a whie, but you, Robin, and the kids were his exceptions.

“Yea, but I can try.” He grunted out, he was pissed, but you couldnt really figure out why.

“Well,” Robin clapped her hands, interrupting. “I’m gonna pause the movie so we can listen to (Y/N) about her auditions because that would be so much more interesting to me than hearing you drone on about your hopeless love life, Steve.” She shot daggers at him with her eyes.

Another thing Robin knew about Steve that you didnt, he only dated around so much because he was trying to get over you. Yes, you never dated, but Steve couldnt stand the fact that he couldnt get over his crush on you, so he hoped that if he dated enough people it would eventually fade. It never did. Robin would always try to convince him to ask you out on a date, but he was always to scared to even approach the topic of dating with you. He didnt feel good enough for you, you had a set goal and he couldnt even get into a college. So he just tried to ignore his feelings, but he really couldnt.

“First of all, I doubt Harrington’s love life is that hopeless. He’s got a new girl every week!” You chuckled to yourself a little, knowing this would get on his nerves.

‘Yea, but not the right one.’ Steve thought to himself glancing over at you. He could never get over that smile.

“Second, the audition went amazing! I’m the new lead singer and you’ll never guess who I saw.” You acted like you saw Tom Cruize or something just so you could grasp the attention of your friends. Robin looked like she was on the edge of her seat and Steve. Steve just kind of looked at you with interest, but he didnt necessarily seem excited.

“Tom Cruize? Did you see Tom Cruize!” Robin yelled. What was her obsession with Tom Cruize?

“No, Eddie fucking Munson. He’s like the lead guitarist and the other lead singer. I was quite surprised.”

“What? No way. No way youre gonna be in a band with Eddie “the freak” Munson.” Steve said sitting up straighter. He didnt necessarily like the idea of you spending more time with another guy that wasnt your brother, but he knew he had no control over that. Still, it made him feel a little insecure. “He’s a bad influence, (Y/N). Also he’s just kind of.. I dont know… weird?” He scrunched his face up a bit.

“Steve” You looked at him annoyed “It’s not like I’m becoming a drug dealer or joinign a cult. I’m literally just singing in a band. If you’re worried about losing your precious (Y/N) time, my practices and performances dont interfere with movie night.” You leaned back crossing your arms.

“It’s not that, its just - its just-” Steve stuttered before being interrupted.

“What Stevey here is trying to say is he’s proud of you and we’ll be at every performance just to cheer you on.” Robin said smiling trying to cover for him.

“Yes! Yes that is exactly what I’m saying.” He ran a hair through his hair. “Now can we please get back to the movie?”

“You guys can, but I promised Dustin I’d pick him up from the Wheeler’s tonight by 9:00 and its already 8:45. I would love to stay, truly!” You were rambling. You felt bad for only staying for 30 minutes, but you really needed to get home and you knew mom would kill you for not getting your brother home at a decent time. “Like I said, lunch tomorrow and double-feature next friday!” You still kept going as you walked out of the house.

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You pulled up outside the Wheeler household a little bit past 9:00. Dustin was already waiting outside looking a little pissed off. He grabbed his bag and walked begrudgingly to your car.

“Hey, Dusty. Sorry, I’m late.” You offered up a smile. You weren't that late, it was maybe 9:05.

“Yea, yea. How did it go?” Dustin said hopping into the car.

“It was good, I’m the new lead singer of your favorite person’s band.” You teased him a little knowing how much he idolized Eddie.

“Wait!” He said turning to you excitedly “You’re the lead singer in Eddie’s band! Oh my god! That's fucking awesome!”

“Language, Dusty.” You smiled to yourself while scolding him “And yes, I’m the lead singer in Eddie’s band, but you can’t tell mom. She’d kill me if she knew I was in a band.”

“You’re secret is safe with me (Y/N).” He made a motion like he was zipping his lips. “I still dont understand why you feel the need to sneak around mom though. You’re an adult now.”

“I may be an adult, but I have a shit gpa and no academic plans for after I graduate, so to say the least if she found out, she would be pretty pissed.” You said putting an extra emphasis on the syllables in the word “pretty” to really show how mad your mother would be.

Your mom was always super supportive, as long as you had good grades and had a plan. You had neither of those, while your brother had both. Therefore, if Dustin wanted to hangout at the Wheeler’s house until 9:00 pm on a school night or stay out late with Hellfire Club he could. You did not have this same luxury which is why you would sneak around, coming up with excuses just so that you could live the life that you wanted.

“(Y/N), just talk to her about it. She most likely won't care.” Dustin said. You could hear the sadness in his voice.

“Dustin, I can assure you that she would care. I will literally be performing in dive bars weekly and staying out late on school nights. I just…I just need you to cover for me until I can at least get my way up to a B average and convince her I have an actual plan. Okay?” You didn't look at him, but you were pleading. This was so important to you and you weren't willing to give it up.

It was silent in the car for a bit before Dustin responded. “Okay okay fine, but you owe me. Also, I want to come to performances.”

“NO! No no no. My performances are at bars, Dustin! Bars! I understand you’ve fought to save the world like three times, but this is a no.” You scolded him as you pulled into the driveway in front of your house. “I’m already taking a risk sneaking around behind mom's back, but sneaking you around with me? That’s an even bigger risk.” You turned the car off and pulled the key out of the ignition.

“Fine, if youre not gonna let me come to the shows, then I’m just gonna tell mom.” He said reaching for the door handle.

“NO!” You reached over him, grabbing his arm. “Fine, you can come to my performances, but I cant be your ride. Ill have to be there early and youre not sitting at a bar for 4 hours.” You sighed with your head in your palms.

“Then how am I supposed to get there?”

“Ask Steve, he would gladly take you.” You said opening your door. “Now, this conversation is over until the morning when I am not absolutely worn out from working and auditions and arguing with my little brother.” You shot him a frustrated glance.

“Fine, Ill drop it, but were picking this up tomorrow.” Dustin said following you up to the house.

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You’d barely even opened the door and your mom was already there waiting for both you and your brother.

“Kids, its 9:30, you said you would be home by 9:00.” Your mom said angrily. She was in the typical ‘mom stance’, hands on her hip and tapping her foot. “If you were gonna be late, you should’ve called.I was worried about you.” She shot disappointed yet worrried glances at both of you.

“Sorry, mom. It’s my fault, movie night with Steve and Robin ran a little late and Robin needed a ride home.” You came quick with a lie to try and make sure that your mom knew the blame was completely on you. “ I know I should’ve called, but I was in such a rush to pick up Dusty from the Wheelers,” you wrapped your arms around your brother “that I just didnt think to call. Im sorry.” You offered up a smile.

“Its not completely (Y/N)’s fault, mom. I also took a while to leave the Wheeler’s. You know how into our games we get.” He also offered up a smile. Both of you knew your mom couldn't be mad at both of you especially with those cute smiles on your faces.

“Aww, okay! I can't stay mad at you guys.” Your mom said, squeezing the two of you into a hug. “Now go get cleaned up and head to bed. I know you have an early shift tomorrow (Y/N).”

“Yea, I’m gonna shower, but probably eat something. Steve and Robin forgot to get food tonight, so I’m a bit hungry. After that, I’ll head to bed, okay?” You smiled at your mom.

“Okay, but Dusty, you should head to bed soon.” She patted your brother's back with a warming smile. “I, myself, am going to head to bed. I love you kids.” Your mother said, planting a kiss on your and your brother's cheeks.

“Goodnight, mom. Love you.” The two of you said in unison watching her walk to her room.

“I’m gonna turn in too.” Dustin said dropping his bag and coat by the front door. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Night, Dusty.”

You had been home about 45 minutes. You already showered and put on your pajamas and now you were searching for something to watch on the t.v. while your food was heating up in the microwave. Your mom had made spaghetti tonight and she made sure to have a serving for you leftover just in case you were hungry. You appreciated this so much, especially on nights when you would get home late and nothing was open.

Beep beep beep

You were startled by the noise of the microwave. You got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen to grab your food, but first stopping to grab a fork. You took your food out of the microwave and lifted yourself onto the counter. You began to stuff your face with the leftover spaghetti. You loved your moms cooking, she always knew how to make everything taste amazing. The, the phone started ringing.

‘Who the hell woul be calling this late at night?’ You thought to yourself making your way over to the phone and taking it off the hook.

“Henderson residence. May I ask who’s calling at these hours of the night?” You asked the mystery caller a little annoyed. You didnt really care, but seriously, nobody calls your house this late, not even Robin.

“Hello to you too, Lady Henderson.” Said the voice on the other line.

“Eddie, its like 10:30. Why are you calling this house? Also how did you get this number?” You were getting a little interogative, but it was late and you were a little annoyed.

“Well, sweetheart, I know your younger brother, so that’s how I got this number and I’m calling to talk to you.” You could just about hear the smirk he had on his face.

“Okay, Eddie, make it quick. I have an early shift at the record store in the morning, we’ve got a shipment coming in.” Really you just wanted the phone call to end in case your mom decided to wake up and interrogate you on who was calling at this time of night. You knew if she found out who and for whatever reason why, she would be absolutely pissed.

“Okay, okay. I need you to meet me after your shift tomorrow.” You furrowed your brow at this and it was almost as if he could either read your mind or see your face because he was quick to follow up on his request. “I want to practice a duet I want to do with you a bit outside of practice because I know the boys would be rushing through it.”

“Okay Eddie, but one small problem, I wont have the car tomorrow. My mom’s car got put in the shop today and Saturdays are her shopping and running errands days. She’s gonna need the cr.” You turned around to lean your back on the wall next to the receiver.

“Ill pick you up from work. What time do you get off?” He was desperate to get alone time with you outside of band rehearsals and was trying his best to mask that by keeping his voice cool. It wasn’t a lie that he wanted to practice a song with you, but he also needed an excuse to just spend time with you and possibly even try to get a date with you.

“Im out at 2:00. I’ll want to change out of my work uniform though, so itll be closer to 2:15. Got it?” You sighed exhaustedly. Honestly, you didnt care that he wanted to practice, it’s just the fact that he called at this time of night and you were tired.

“Alright, Henderson. It’s a date.” You could hear him chuckle a little on the other end of the line.

“Not a date, Munson. Goodnight.” You said hanging up the phone, though, for some reason there was a small smile forming on your face.

After the phone call, you started cleaning up the dishes you used to reheat the dinner your mom made for you. While you were washing the plate you couldnt help but let your mind wander. You wondered why Eddie called your rehearsal a date. Is that what it was? A date? You didnt hate the idea of going on a date with him, but dates just werent really on the table for you right now. Still, if it was just one date, it never had to be anything more. Why were you even thinking about this? It was just Eddie, you’ve never felt anything towards him, so why are you thinking into this rehearsal so much.

‘God, pull yourself together (Y/N)’ You thought.

You rubbed your eyes with your palms and made your way to your room. You were exhausted to the point that you just about fell asleep as soon as you plopped down on your bed. You pulled your comforter up over you and started to slowly drift to sleep.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #dustin henderson #stranger things s4 #stranger things #henderson!reader

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foli-vora · 3 years

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my girl

A/N: look, I don’t even fucking know. I saw the reference picture and my mind just went absolutely feral. What started out as what could be a simple threesome, soon turned into this—whatever the fuck this is. I refuse to apologise. I enjoyed this ride and will now throw this out into the abyss like a grenade and run back to the safety of my blankets, ashamed to ever return.

This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog Writers Wednesday ❤️ such an incredible idea! Thank you for letting me join in!

Pairing: Dave York x f!reader x Francisco “Catfish” Morales

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: this is straight up filth. FILTH. SMUT 18+ NO MINORS!! Swearing, alcohol, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), lactation kink—not everyone’s cup of tea, I get it... dirty talk, Dave’s a bastard and Frankie��s a pussy eating king—both things we know by now. Um, enjoy, I guess?

“Fuck.”

You laugh lightly, head falling back onto Dave’s shoulder as Frankie drops his cards to the table with a drawn out sigh.

“You can’t lie for shit, Morales.”

He shoots a half hearted glare at Dave, crossing his arms stubbornly. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing, York.”

You snort quietly, fingers intertwining with the hand resting comfortably on your thigh. “It’s not a good thing, either. Drink up.”

“Two against one is hardly fair.”

Dave grins, momentarily pressing against your back to reach for his own beer before reclining comfortably back in the chair, pulling you tighter against him as he goes. “You say that like she’s a threat—she’s as hopeless as you.”

“Rude.”

The sun still warms your shoulders as it starts it’s descent below the heavy tree line behind your property, the bright summer glow fading into something softer, more relaxing, and you eye the mess of paper plates, cups and random toys strewn about in the yard—the leftover destruction of your sons first birthday.

Dave’s fingers softly pinch your chin and return your focus to the table and the drinking game currently taking place, coaxing another beer into your hands while he kisses softly below your ear. “Stop looking at it—we’ll do it in the morning.”

“Yeah, when I’m long gone.” Frankie mutters, grinning at you before tipping his head back and polishing off another can while Dave laughs quietly.

He liked Dave. The guy was strange sometimes, what with his out of town work and mysterious friends that made the hairs on the back of Frankie’s neck stand, but Dave was a good guy... adored the absolute hell out of you and that’s all that mattered. He served, too, but unlike Frankie choosing to retire, he took up an opportunity with the CIA. Not too shabby.

Frankie’s checking in with his babysitter a little while later, having lost again, when he hears a little moan. His eyes move towards the sound before he can help it.

What the fuck?

Frankie shifts in his seat, not looking straight at the pair of you in fear of fucking flat out moaning. He chalks it up to just not being with someone for a while but wow. He could see you from the corner of his eye, see Dave’s hands and the way they move to squeeze and pinch at your tits as his mouth practically devours yours. You’re complete putty in his hands, melting into his lap and taking whatever he gives you hungrily.

Maybe he should go.

Fuck. Did you just whimper?

Jesus. He needs to leave now.

“I’ll head off... give you two some space—”

Dave’s low voice stops his rise from the chair, his ass hanging awkwardly over the seat as eyes that match his in colour and depth zero in on him from across the table. “What’s the rush, Morales?”

“No rush. I just don’t want to intrude—”

“You’re not. Sit down. Have another beer.”

Say no. Say no.

“Sure.”

He resettles in the chair, immediately reaching for another can as wonders why he suddenly feels so fucking studied under Dave’s watchful gaze.

“So how long have you wanted to fuck my wife?”

You blink in shock, “David!”

Frankie just about chokes. Beer spills from his lips and he hacks a cough in surprise, sleeve catching the drops of liquid that fall from his chin. Fuck. Fucking shit. What the fuck is he meant to do? He’s gonna get his ass kicked, and if he’s being honest with himself, he fucking deserves it.

He should’ve fucking left.

“Man, I swear—” He swears what? He can tell by the way Dave’s looking at him that the man already knows. He’s not angry—not even a little bit. He’s just... smug. And curious. What kind of fucking game is this guy playing?

“Oh god, Frankie, I’m so sorry—please ignore him. David, what’s the fucking matter with you?!”

You bristle when he blatantly ignores you, instead raising a brow in challenge at Frankie. “Am I wrong?”

Frankie works his jaw, eyes narrowing slightly as he tries to work out Dave’s play. He doesn’t seem to be looking for a fight. Doesn’t seem to be doing it out of spite or wanting to upset you. He has no idea how to act, what to fucking say.

Dave nods, grinning. “Thought as much.”

His hand cups your chest, squeezing the flesh softly, and you squirm in his touch, cheeks flooding with embarrassment for your friend as Frankie swallows uncomfortably, eyes immediately finding the crushed cans on the table. “Dave—”

“He doesn’t mind—do you, Morales?”

You watch in slight surprise as Frankie’s eyes flutter to your chest, watching the way Dave handles you roughly before they’re moving away again, almost shy.

“It’s alright. You can watch. Can’t he, honey?”

And then Frankie’s looking at you, eyes unsure and questioning but burning with something that has a thrill running along your spine. You nod quietly, heart beating unsteadily as Frankie’s eyes widen slightly, body squirming in the chair.

“If—if you want to.”

He exhales softly, now watching with rapt attention as Dave brings both hands up, undoing each button of your dress until your modest cotton bra is on show, nipples poking through and straining against the fabric. He feels the air leave his lungs the second Dave pulls at the cups, spilling your tits out to the open air and his wandering gaze. He can’t help but make a noise at the sight of them, cock hardening to the point of discomfort as Dave massages them softly, your eyes rolling a little as he pinches at your nipples.

Frankie stiffens in the chair, breath catching and stomach dropping.

Fucking shit—

Dave hums lowly in appreciation, feeling a warm dribble across his thumb and fingers as you squirm from the familiar tingle in your breasts. “She’s trying to stop and dry it up, but it takes a while, doesn’t it, honey? Not that I care—more for me in the long run.”

Frankie almost whines. Fucking whines. He catches it just before it falls from his throat, close to embarrassment. Dave knows—the bastard. You look so good. So fucking good. Fuck, there’s so much—

“Have a taste.”

You moan softly at the idea, and Dave hushes you softly as he presses a kiss to your throat.

Frankie eyes the milk that falls from your nipple before glancing up and meeting Dave’s gaze, lips pursing in thought despite the way his cock throbs in his jeans. What was the ulterior motive here? Was it a test? Was he just looking for a reason to knock him out? Does he even care?

Dave watches him, expression unwavering, almost teasing as he coaxes more milk from your tits and runs his fingers through the warm stream sliding down your skin.

“What’s the catch?” Frankie eventually asks, voice hoarse, and Dave grins.

“No catch.”

Did he get up too fast? By the way Dave laughs at him, he probably did. He doesn’t care. He can’t get around the stupid fucking glass table quick enough.

Frankie drops to his knees in front of you, attention completely focused on the way Dave squeezes gently at your nipple and draws more milk from your tit.

He wants to double check. He knows Dave would never push you to do something you didn’t want to, but there’s been a bit of alcohol involved, and even though he knows your tolerance level is much higher than a few beers, hell—even tequila doesn’t bring you down, checking doesn’t hurt. “Are you—”

You nod, “It’s okay, Frankie.”

“Go on.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Frankie’s lip attach to you the second Dave opens his mouth, his tongue running immediately over your nipple and groaning when the taste of your milk sinks into his taste buds. So fucking sweet. You whine into Dave’s ear when Frankie increases his pressure, greedy for more as you flood his mouth, and your stomach tightens at Dave’s low hum.

“Feel good, honey?” He asks quietly, other hand cupping and rolling your free nipple in his hand as Frankie moans softly against your skin, the prickle of his facial hair so different to Dave’s clean shaven face, but no less pleasant.

“S-so good—”

Dave’s fingers gently pinch at the hem of your dress, sliding it up along your thighs and pooling it above your waist before coaxing your thighs open a little more, Frankie immediately moving into the free space as soon as he could. Dave pulls your panties to the side, running his fingers through your slick folds with a low groan.

“You’re so fucking wet. Do you like him sucking on your tits?”

You whine quietly, hips arching into the two fingers that swirl around your entrance before they slide in and curl against your hot walls. He moves slowly, dragging them almost lazily in and out of your pussy as he feels more of your arousal coat his hand.

“Yeah, you do like it—so does he. Do you think he can hear how wet you are, baby? Do you think he can hear my fingers move in this greedy little cunt?”

Frankie groans. Loudly. He’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t so fucking turned on. He can hear it. It’s driving him fucking mad. He wants to look, wants to watch how your face moves as Dave finds that spot deep along your walls, but he can’t pull away from you. Not yet. If this is the only chance he gets to do this, then he’s taking it and fucking running.

Dave’s gentle as he pulls his fingers from you, swirling his slick soaked fingers around and over your nipple before coaxing Frankie to the other side. The obscene groan that vibrates against your chest sends flutters through your entire body as Frankie laps at your skin with a ravenous frenzy, tongue smoothing over every bit of wet skin he could find before latching onto your nipple without abandon.

Dave picks up on it immediately. “Easy. You hurt her, I hurt you.”

A tongue smoothes over your nipple in silent apology, and your fingers run through the flattened curls of Frankie’s hat hair in acceptance, his face nuzzling against your skin as you bring him closer. Dave’s fingers return to your pussy, leisurely circling your clit, swollen and throbbing from lack of attention.

“Do you want to cum, honey?”

The needy whine that leaves your mouth has him cooing into the side of your face, fingers picking up speed and pressure at the desperate little buck of your hips.

“Maybe if you ask Francisco nicely, he’ll eat this pretty pussy until you cum.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Is he serious?

Frankie shudders against you, cock straining so fucking hard against his jeans he almost wants to cry. He’d beg if he has to. If that tiny little taster Dave gave him was anything to go by, you’d drive him fucking wild.

“P-please Frankie—”

Dave tuts lowly in your ear, “‘Please Frankie’—you can do better than that. He can’t hear you.”

“Fuck. Please—”

“Please what?”

“Please eat my pussy—please—”

Dave winds his fingers into Frankie’s hair and tugs sharply, the other man detaching from your tit with a wet smack of his lips. He eyes the small trail of milk sliding into Frankie’s beard and scoffs quietly, “Messy.”

Frankie’s already flushed cheeks darken even further, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is how fucking stunning you look, legs spread and face morphed in ecstasy as Dave rubs over your clit with a shadow of a smirk—the man knew he drove you crazy.

God, so fucking wet—

You’re dripping. He can see it. He watches the way your entrance flutters, pussy clenching hungrily around nothing as Dave slows his movements.

“Well? You heard her.” He parts your folds, baring you in all your slick fucking glory, and Frankie all but fucking loses his god damn mind. He dives in, uncaring that Dave’s fingers are there and his tongues probably running over them more than he cares to count. Dave doesn’t seem to mind.

The cry that falls from your lips has Frankie pressing forward, mouth pressing greedily against you as his tongue works at your pussy, lapping at your weeping entrance before lathing attention to your clit, tightening his lips around the nerve and letting his tongue massage over it.

“Oh fuck, Frankie—”

Dave hums, curved nose trailing softly along the side of your face as you thrash in his arms, bucking into the mouth that all but fucking devours your pussy. His tries to ignore the way you shift on his lap, the way your ass drags so fucking nicely over his hard cock straining under you, tries to ignore the delicious fucking sounds coming from both you and Frankie, but he can only endure so much.

He bites into your shoulder, eyes tightening as he fights off the waves of tempting bliss tingling at the base of his spine. Not yet. He wants more.

“Come on, baby. He’s been so good—cum on his mouth. Give it to him.”

Your body thrums with waves of electricity at Dave’s words, each swipe of Frankie’s tongue driving you further and further until you’re stiffening, Dave cooing quiet praises and quickly slapping a firm hand over your mouth as you find your peak, crying out and shaking in his arms as Frankie holds onto your thighs, tongue burying itself in your fluttering pussy to take everything you give him.

Your cries turn into whines, and soon you’re squirming, trying to get away from Frankie’s mouth. He takes the message before Dave can intervene, pulling away with a shaky exhale and desperately trying not to blow his load in his fucking jeans. He had a feeling Dave would never let him live it down, but it was so fucking hard not to. You were wrecked.

He watches you come down from your high from the floor between your thighs, heart hammering as Dave softly runs his fingers along your skin, voice almost silent as he murmurs in your ear. Dark eyes are soon on him and Frankie briefly worries he’s overstepping his welcome, until Dave speaks.

“That’s what you get when you lose, Morales. Imagine what you’ll get if you win. Deal ‘em.” Dave nods to the cards on the table, acting like he didn’t have you still trembling in his arms with your tits out, and dress bunched around your hips with your pussy still spread and quivering.

Frankie swallows, nodding silently and moving back to his seat, reaching for the cards with a sudden urge to win and wipe that fucking smirk off of Dave’s face.

Tags: @anu-simps @seasonschange-butpeopledont @withasideofmeg @you-got-me-starry-eyed @mouthymandalorianalso @frannyzooey @wyn-dixie @intu-witch-tion @amneris21 @mad-girl-without-a-box @pinguinstudiert @sergeantbannerbarnes @betterthanbucky @kat-r-in @starlightmornings @randomness501 @antisocialthat70sshow @buttercup--bee @sleep-tight1 @spideysimpossiblegirl @greeneyedblondie44 @hope-for-the-best-98 @bunniwarrior @fangirl-316 @acourtofsnakes @leaiorganas @princess76179 @mamacitapascal @221bshrlocked @danniburgh @lv7867 @autumnleaves1991-blog @julesorwhatever

#writer wednesday #Dave York x reader #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales x reader #Dave York x f!reader #frankie morales x f!reader #francisco morales x f!reader #dave york x you x frankie morales #dave york #frankie morales #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #this is what beer and cards would lead to with Dave and Frankie #no I will not be taking criticism

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f3itansgirlygirl · 4 years

Text

drivers license - suna rintarou

part 2 right here

inspired by the song driver's license

his house is right there, right in front of me.

sitting in the car biting my lip holding back the sob that threatened to escape, how did it become like this? how did i end up sitting in here alone while you went off with her? that was supposed to be me, you said you would wait?

suna rintarou

a beautiful boy, his smile never failed to warm your heart. the way he would hold you in his arms, pout when you weren't paying attention, brush your hair behind your ear, the way he would kiss you and buy you your favorite drinks or take you to that little park you loved so much as you guys watched the sunset and fell in love all over again.

then how did it get like this?

----------------------------------------------------------------

“hi my name is l/n y/n and i'm your new manager!,” you introduced yourself. was a first year at inarizaki and needed to get into a club, atsumu decided to introduce you to the coach and give in a few words.

looking around the team you felt a nice presence, and that's when your eyes landed on his, those green piercing eyes. having his knees to his chest laughing at atsumu for trying to punch him for showing him something on his phone.

the way his laugh died down but kept a smile as he looked at you.

you blushed but became distracted as kita called you over.

“thank you guys for accepting me have a good night!,” you said grabbing your bag and leaving. “wait up i’ll walk with you,” you heard a voice behind you say. you turned to hear the voice and it belonged to him.

you guys walked under the stars, you shivered forgetting a jacket and that's when he looked at you and smirked. “the old jacket technique huh let me guess you want me to take mine’s off and give it to you,”

you gasped and looked right at him, “no i actually forgot you weirdo whatever i guess i'll walk faster,” you said speeding up. “wait i’m just teasing here i have a hoodie it’s my sleeping in class hoodie so better not ruin it.”

you took it hesitantly but put it on either way, it was big and burgundy and my god the scent you can still remember to this day how good he smelled like. “looks good on you maybe i’ll let you keep it,” he said as you guys continued to walk.

that was your first interaction, your first words to each other and one of the many nights you guys have come to spend together

---------------------------------------------------------------

everything else came easily, even though having a age gap it didn’t stop your feelings whatsoever, and also never stopped him from showing affection.

you still remember your first kiss

how he kissed you by surpised on the slide of a old park where you guys sneaked out to get ice cream.

still remember how he started bringing extra hoodies and hair ties since you had a habit of forgetting both.

still remember that night under the stars in the backseat of his car when he looked at you and told you he was in love with you.

you teared up staring at him as he giggled softly caressing your face, holding your waist even more closer to his chest as your bodies connected.

“i love you rintarou,” you smiled crying softly.

he looked at you rubbing your tears away, “and i love you y/n l/n,”

--------------------------------------------------------------

how it was such a good 6 months. looking back you should have seen the way you guys would only hang out around the night or weekdays.

how he wouldn't hold your hand in school or only be affection around the team.

and how you guys weren't exactly official, never asked you officially to be his but hey because of the memories spent together you thought of course your his and he’s yours.

you first saw her when she came through the doors, holding his notebook as she apologized but nevertheless gave him a smile and he gave one back. she was pretty- like really pretty.

pretty blue eyes, blonde long hair, beautiful body.

“so this is what overthinking feels like huh,” you mumbled as you shook your head and went back to setting the net up.

after practice you and suna as always walked home

you guys decided to take a detour heading to your park where many memories were made.

“hey rin,” you asked as you looked over the river that was by the bridge. “yes love?,” he replied. “what are we?,” you asked him.

please say im yours...

“well your younger than me, i want you to be mines and you already are, always and forever sooo how about this,” he turned to look at you and bent down so his head was right at yours. “when you become a 2nd year and get your driver's license we can officially be together yeah? i'll get down on one knee and ask you to be mine,” he rolled his eyes as you giggled.

he stuck out his pinkie and you stuck out yours. “you’ll wait for me?,” you said.

he wrapped his pinkie around yours, “always, make sure you just don't crash don't want you dying before your mine but yes i promise i will wait for you l/n,” suna smiled grabbing you and pulling you in for a kiss.

-------------------------------------------------------------

finals came up and yes you and suna got distant due to you studying, yet you weren't nervous you were excited to finally walk down the halls holding his hand.

looking back you should have seen the signs of him not texting you often or wanting to help you, you shrugged it off maybe he was struggling in some classes too.

finally the day was here, texting osamu all morning about how you would pick them up for school so you can show off to suna.

laughing driving up to school with the twins, you got out the car and seeing suna’s back against one of the walls

you were about to call out for him until you saw her again. this time she was wearing the burgundy hoodie, and he was the one holding her hand. he was smiling? the smile he gave you specifically to you he was giving to her.

tears filled your eyes.

“y/n chan.. i’m-” , “its okay atsumu just get to class okay?,” you turned around hand shaking as you hold your keys, tears spilling down your eyes. “i'm going to be okay,” you smiled. “no, you’re crying,”

“i said i’m okay, i’m just going to leave,” you said running to your car and getting the fuck outta there.

leaving you saw atsumu go up to suna and scream at him.

your heart felt like it was being pulled, this can’t be real?

you headed home, slamming your door and falling to the ground, how could you rin?

flashes of him and her passed your mind seeing how happy he was.

you looked underneath and saw a photo on the ground. your grabbed it and sat on your bed, it was you and him in a photobooth smiling and then kissing. underneath in his handwriting he wrote “my love always and forever,”

you felt like throwing up, so this is what heartbreak feels like.

you were hurt mad even at the fact that before anything was able to happen it was already ruined. you cried yourself to sleep wanting to ignore the pain/

---------------------------------------------------------

you woke up around 9 p.m, you were confused but remembered all that happened today

“so that wasn't a horrible dream?,” you tried to laugh it out but really couldn’t.

you needed fresh air, you changed into sweatpants and a baggy shirt.

going for a drive blasting music, you didn’t know where you were going but you just needed to feel the air flowing past you. you stopped at the red light, everything was getting blurry tears now leaving as you hit the steering wheel.

you kept driving and ending up parking in this neighborhood, being very familiar but automatically knowing where you ended up. you looked to your right and saw his house.

you were about to get off trying to get closure you said, needing answers still trying to doubt everything and thinking maybe this was a horrible joke from the twins and him but then you got all the closure you needed. seeing as the door opened revealing the girl coming out.

your heart dropped seeing how happy they were and dare you say actually look good together. he smiled down at her and grabbed her for a kiss.

you gasped as a heart wrenching sob escaped your lips, she walked away as he never took his eyes off her figure.

that was me.

he then looked turning his head and made eye contact with you, you just silently laughed as you shook your head at him and turned on the car leaving. “y/n wait!,” you heard him say as you left.

you headed to the small park and sat in the slide looking up as you laid down and finally let everything out. “never knew your waiting was just a short trial did i have to pay for millions of hours?,” you cried as you looked up in the sky seeing your memories replay in your head

‘Cause how could I ever love someone else’ And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street’

your phone dinged as you look who texted you

suna rin: y/n we need to talk... suna rin: please, i am so so sorry just hear me out. suna rin: i really did wait i just, please let's just meet up.

you texted back

“im really happy for you suna, goodbye rintarou.”

you then deleted his contact as you took a deep breathe and sat up.

“i still see your face

In the white cars”

you grabbed your head, “was i not good enough?,”

“We crossed I still hear your voice In the traffic We're laughing”

flash back

“you know i think we're meant to be,” suna said from your bed as you were on your laptop finishing some things. “wow such a hopeless romantic,” you smiled at him as you were putting back your earphones. “just maybe right person wrong time,” he said softly. you looked back at him, “i'm sorry did you say something,” you asked him. he just shook his head, “nothing i was just saying your a nerd,” he said as he threw a pillow at your face. “you know what,” you got up and jumped on top of him both laughing.

flashback over

‘God, I'm so blue Know we're through But I still fucking love you, babe’

you finally realized what he said, right person wrong timing

you looked up at the cherry blossom tree and softly smiled

“your right suna we really were meant to be just right person, wrong time.”

i guess not every love story is meant to be complete.

the end.

#suna #suna rintaro imagine #suna rintaro x you #suna rintarō #inarizaki #heartbreak #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #angst #suna rintarou #suna rintaro hcs #suna rintarou x reader #haikyu x reader #atsumu #miya twins #x reader #sad #romance

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princehrry-writings · 3 years

Text

Daddy?

happy Easter if you celebrate it!! I've been working on this for a couple weeks!! It's the longest one-shot I think I've ever written.

word count: 5180

please please please flood my inbox with your thoughts and comments!! i want to know what you think!!!

warnings: some swearing (i think), absent birth father, single mom, nothing too serious.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her.

Y/n is a single mom and Harry wants to be a part of the family.

Getting pregnant was definitely not something Y/n wanted to be doing at 20 years old. She had a boyfriend and the career of her dreams but as soon as the news broke, one of those things was no longer true. Her ex skipped town faster than she could even finish telling him she was pregnant, so Y/n was left to her own devices since her family was so far away.

She was a songwriter. She had worked with all the big names in the industry from Taylor Swift to All Time Low. She was known for being able to write in any genre, that’s what set her apart and why people were clawing at the chance to work with her.

And then she got pregnant. She kept writing songs until she was eight and a half months along but due to minor complications, her doctor had ordered her to stay home. So she did. She stayed home, had the baby, and raised her all by herself. Now that baby, whose name is Stella, is four years old and is traveling the world with her mom. Y/n had gone back to work when Stella was a year old. At first, she would leave her baby with a sitter, but eventually, she got to a point where Stella was old enough to come along to writing sessions and quietly color or play with toys in a corner. She really liked going to work with her mom. She got to see a bunch of cool places and meet a lot of nice people.

And one of those people was Harry Styles. Y/n had met him a few times back when he was with One Direction, had even tried to work with the band a few times but things never lined up right. But now he was making his second studio album and only wanted the best of the best to write with him so naturally, he called Y/n. Harry knew she had a kid but he didn’t expect her to bring said kid to a writing session. Harry didn’t really mind- he loves kids, but his friends had been known to curse a lot and he didn’t want to cause any harm to the child.

He made sure to give everyone a stern talking to, even though Kid already knew to hold his tongue (his little ones had repeated some colorful words a few times). He wanted everything to go right, needed it to. Y/n was more than just another songwriter.

“Y/n! I’m so glad you could make it!” Harry smiled as she walked into the studio. She smiled back, walking into his open arms for a hug.

“Thank you so much for having me, I’m super stoked to be working with you!” She said, slightly muffled by his neck. Harry looked down behind Y/n and saw a little girl that looked exactly like the woman currently in his arms looking right back up at him. When the two pulled away Harry was quick to kneel down to her height.

“And who might this be?” He said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t frighten her.

“Tell Harry your name baby,” Y/n brushed a stray piece of hair away from her daughter's face who shied away behind her mom’s leg.

“Stella,” the little girl mumbled, fidgeting with the jeans she hid behind. He felt his heart flutter. She was just so freakin cute.

“It’s lovely to meet you Stella, m’Harry!”

“You talk funny.” The child said, making Harry laugh and Y/n gasp, scolding her daughter for being rude while trying not to laugh at her blunt comment.

“Stella Rose, that was not a very nice thing to say!” Y/n softly reprimanded.

“Sowwy Hawwy,” He chuckled, letting her know he forgave her. Although he wasn’t mad, he understood Y/n had to teach her not to say things like that even if they were funny.

When Stella had settled at a table out of the way of the adults in the room with her coloring book and a juice box, the work began. Y/n and Harry sat at a piano bench ( he hoped she couldn’t hear his pounding heart) while Kid and Mitch, along with Jeff, sat scattered around the other furniture in the studio.

“So, I have a couple of ideas that I’ve been sitting on that I think you might like. You can look through this and see if there's something that catches your eye.” Y/n said, handing Harry a notebook. She tried to ignore the tingle she felt run up her arm when their fingers brushed. He flipped around the pages, noticing random little doodles in the corners and in between lines, and the somewhat messy but readable handwriting. He thought it was cute how she connected her s’s to her t’s and k’s when she wrote.

One page, in particular, caught his attention.

Golden, Golden, Golden

As I open my eyes

Hold it, focus

So you take me back to the light

I know you were way too bright for me

I’m hopeless, broken

So you wait for me in the sky

Brown my skin just right

“Is this a verse or a chorus?” He asked, pointing it out to her. She shrugged saying she didn’t really know yet but it would probably be a verse.

“I like it a lot,” He said and she smiled, picking up her guitar and strumming it to the tune she had thought of for the words. He listened and nodded along, already getting ideas for where to go next.

“I like the golden thing. I think that could be a good hook, something like we’re so golden,” Kid spoke up, tapping his fingers along to what she was playing.

“Or you’re so golden,” Mitch suggested. Harry and Y/n’s eyes widened at the same time, both looking up at each other when they heard the line.

“You’re so golden, you’re so golden…” Y/n hummed.

“I’m out of my head, and I know what you said about hearts get broken,”

“How about I’m out of my head and I know that you’re scared because hearts get broken,”

“I like that better, yeah!” Harry smiled, nodding along to the beat.

Y/n looked over 30 minutes later to see Stella had sprawled out on the floor with her arms folded beneath her head, first finger stuck into her mouth, and she smiled, breathing out a laugh.

“She’s so precious,” Harry murmured from beside you. Your gaze found his and the smile on your face widened a little bit.

“She is, isn’t she.” She said, pride present in her eyes.

“Looks just like you as well,”

“Yeah thank god, I don’t know what I would have done if she had ended up looking like her sperm donor,” Malice dripped from the end of her phrase. Y/n couldn’t even entertain the idea of her looking like the man who helped create her. That nerve was still a little raw, not because she had any remaining feelings, but because he had abandoned not only her but the beautiful baby girl who was napping not 15 feet away from her. She figured they were better off without him, yet her heart always shattered a little when Stella asked if she had a daddy like the people she sees on tv.

“I couldn’t imagine finding out the woman I loved was pregnant and then leaving her, any real man would have stayed.” His eyes were genuine, which she appreciated. Most people would say they felt sorry for her, pity dripping from their gaze, but she didn’t need pity, didn’t need people to feel sorry for her. But what Harry said was out of pity, he just honestly couldn’t understand how anyone would abandon a child.

“Yeah well, I guess I just wasn’t the woman he loved.” She said, looking back at her baby. Stella made all of that pain from when he disappeared worth it.

Harry wanted to be able to take that pain away.

---

“Hey I know it’s late, but I have this idea and I want you to hear it,” Harry’s raspy voice chimed through the speaker of Y/n’s phone. She glanced at the time, reading 1:30 AM, and sighed.

“Ok,”

“Come open the door,” He said.

“Wait what? You’re here?”

“Yeah, come on. It’s cold out here.”

“Ugh, hold on,” The woman sighed, hanging up and tip-toeing out of her room so her footsteps wouldn’t wake the sleeping four-year-old in the next room over. Her door was open and she was a light sleeper.

The door swung open and Harry stood there with a small smile on his face, burrowing as deep into his coat as he could to shield himself from the cold air outside.

“Hi!” His cheeky smile made Y/n’s heart flutter.

This was the first of many times he would show up at her place in the middle of the night.

---

Another night of Harry coming over late with a song idea he couldn’t wait to show Y/n, although now it was more he would come over after Stella fell asleep and the two would watch movies and talk, and sometimes write songs (even though the album was done).

The pair were perched on the couch in a heated conversation about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza (it does and that is a fact not an opinion) when the sound of little footsteps caught their attention. They both looked up from where they sat at the sound of loud crying coming down the stairs, seeing a small child with tears barreling down her face, cheeks flush an angry red, first finger stuck in her mouth, teddy bear clutched tightly to her chest.

“Baby what’s wrong?” Y/n cooed, getting up and sweeping her into her arms. She went and sat back down on the couch, cradling the baby to her chest, brushing her hair out of her face, and rocking her back and forth.

“Scawwy dweam mommy,” She hiccuped into her mom’s neck, where she hid her face. Her tiny hands clutched onto her shirt, finger stick tucked between her lips.

Harry held back a coo at the little girl, feeling himself fall further and further for the little family of two sitting before him. He hadn’t been able to take his mind off of them since that first day he met Stella. He’d always had a schoolboy crush on Y/n since they first met all those years ago but knew it was one-sided when she introduced her boyfriend one of the last times they had seen each other. As fate would have it though, they found their way back to each other. Neither of them could deny the feelings they held, but Y/n was scared to bring someone into the picture because she didn’t want Stella to get attached to someone who wouldn’t be permanent. She was lucky her ex left before he ever got the chance to meet Stella, the kid had no clue what she was missing, therefore didn’t have any pain due to her absent father.

She would be lying if she said she didn’t imagine Harry stepping into that role. But she couldn’t ask that of him. He was at a time in his career where he didn’t have time to be the father of a four year old.

But life is full of surprises.

“Hawwy.” The baby whimpered and crawled off of Y/n’s chest, into his lap and snuggled her head right into him like it was where she was meant to be all along. His heart just about burst when the little girl fisted his shirt, tucking herself into him. His arms instinctively wrapped around her, cradling her into him and rocking her back and forth like her mother had been only moments ago.

Stella calms down almost immediately, to Y/n’s surprise. It usually takes her a while to console her baby from bad dreams, but all Harry had to do was hold her, and boom, no more tears.

“You alright petal?” He cooed into her hair, soothing his hand up and down her back to keep her calm. She nodded, letting out a huge yawn and closing her eyes, falling back asleep in his arms.

Y/n was astonished. Stella had never fallen asleep on anyone but her mom or her grandmother. She’s known Harry for a few months and was acting like he’d been there her whole life.

“Wow… she loves you.” Y/n whispered, not really meaning for him to hear but he did and his smile gave her the impression that he loved her too. But Stella wasn’t the only one he felt such affections for.

“Y/n....” He starts after a moment of silence, “I know this sounds crazy because we’ve only truly known each other for a few months… but I’ve had feelings for you for years. I missed my opportunity when you got with your ex but I’m here now, and I love you, and I love Stella, and I would do anything to stay in both of your lives if you’d have me. I want to be here for you, and I want to be here for her as well.” His confession shocked the woman sitting across from him.

Y/n was quiet, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought while she took in what he was saying. Trying her best to keep her fantasies of playing house with him at bay, she spoke.

“Harry, as much as all of that sounds lovely, you’re about to start press for the album and then go on tour. You’re not gonna have time to be in a relationship, and as much as I wish I could just jump into something like that, I can’t. I have her to think about…” She gestured to the toddler sleeping on him.

“She needs consistency, her life is already hectic enough.”

“So come with me!” He spouted, and then retracted a bit realizing he could wake Stella up.

“What?”

“Come with me! You two travel around already, so come on the press tour with me and then come on the big tour with me! I know this sounds impulsive and it’s probably the craziest thing I’ve ever said in my life ever, but I’ve never been more sure of anything. I know what I want Y/n, and that’s to be a part of this family. I want to be a part of your lives!”

“Harry, I-”

“Please Y/n. Give me a chance! I won’t let you down!” The gleam in his eyes shows her that he’s serious. He really does want this. Harry just hopes that Y/n can see just how willing he is, how much it would mean to him to have (what he already affectionately considers to be) his girls with him on tour.

It’s quiet, only sounds of Stella’s even breaths and the light noise of her sucking on her finger fill the room. Eventually, Y/n gathers her thoughts, mind made up.

“We’ll try it out… see how it goes….” She said, releasing a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding on to. Harry’s smile grew tenfold at her confession, reaching over and bringing her face closer to his to kiss her lips, careful not to wake the baby in his arms.

He had never been happier, Harry decides, than he is right now.

---

“Hawwy?” Stella’s voice catches Y/n’s attention from where she sits on the plane, in between her and Harry. She turns her little head to the man sitting in the aisle seat, big round eyes staring right into his.

“What is it, lovebug?” He asks, pushing her wild baby hairs away from her eyes. Y/n did her very best not to coo at the two of them. Harry had fallen perfectly into step with the mother and daughter, like this duo had been a trio all along. She was still hesitant to think of him as a father figure for Stella though, just because if things went south somehow, she didn’t want her baby suffering a loss like that (a second time).

Stella’s little fists rubbed at her tired eyes. She let out a small ‘hmph’ and laid her head on Harry’s arm, wrapping her own little arms around his.

“Awe you my daddy?” She asked and Y/n choked on her spit, looking back over at the toddler.

“Stella, baby-”

“I would love to be your daddy lovebug, but that’s not really up to me…” He spoke and glanced up at Y/n quickly, trepidation clear in his eyes. Harry was afraid he might overstep. Sure he knew that things were still new between him and Y/n but he wanted nothing more than for Stella to think of him as her dad.

“Who’s it up to?” Y/n could tell she was about to fall asleep but was fighting it in order to get her answers. She had adjusted to a more fast pace schedule quite nicely. She slept through most plane and car rides and absolutely loved being backstage at concerts. Harry thought she looked so adorable with her big noise-canceling headphones on. They had been on the road for a few months now, and it had been 8 months since Y/n decided to give him a chance.

“It’s up to mummy, baby.” He answered, his fingers tangling into his chestnut curls in a futile attempt to keep them out of his face.

Stella’s head immediately whipped to look at her mom, who sat frozen in her seat, not knowing what to do.

“Mommy, is Hawwy my daddy?” She repeated her question. Y/n had a feeling that Stella thought Harry was her real dad, the one that her mom didn’t like to talk about. She had to make sure there was no confusion.

“Not like you're thinking he is, baby. He’s not your birth dad, he didn’t help mommy make you, but if you want him to be your daddy, then that’s ok with me.” Y/n locked eyes with the man sitting across from her with a smile on his face. She was glad that they were flying private because she really didn’t need anyone ruining this moment for them. All her fears of this not working out felt stupid now.

How could she ever think that things with Harry wouldn’t work out? He was right where he belonged.

---

“Daddy!”

“Baby!” Harry knelt down to catch the running (almost) 5 year old, picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. They were in England for two weeks on tour. One for shows, and one so that Y/n and Stella could meet Harry’s mom and sister for the first time as a part of the family. Y/n had met them before as “a friend of Harry’s” many years ago, but they had never met her as Harry’s girlfriend, and they hadn’t met Stella.

Currently, Harry was in the middle of a show and Stella had just escaped her mothers arms side stage in favor of running to her dad. Y/n still couldn’t get over saying that. Harry is Stella’s dad. She doesn’t think that will ever get old.

No one knew how serious the relationship between Y/n and Harry was. The public knew they were together (after a very vague post on instagram of the mother/daughter duo napping with the caption “my girls”). Many people thought this was a PR stunt, just because it was so unlike Harry to post something like that. But he had actually confirmed in an interview that, yes, he was in a relationship with the songwriter and it was pretty serious. That was all he chose to say, in favor of keeping his secrecy, as he so famously loves to do.

What came as a shock to the audience was what the child had called Harry. They all knew about Stella, obviously, but no one would have thought that this child would think of him as her father. A lot of people didn’t like thinking about Harry being a father.

“What are you doing out here baby?” He said into her ear, making sure he could hear her over the loud noise of the audience. Most of them loved getting glimpses into his life, so the crowd was excited to see Stella out on stage and many thought it was adorable that she already thought of him as her dad.

“Missed you.” She said into his neck. The microphone had somehow picked up their little exchange and the whole crowd sighed a collective “awe” when she said that. She was perched on his hip with her little arms wrapped around his neck, her favorite place if she had to choose one. She was pretty small for a 4-year-old, most people usually thought she was younger.

Harry chuckled and saw Y/n standing there with a smile on her face. Mitch was giggling at the exchange and kept glancing back at Sarah with a knowing look of “That’s going to be us soon,” written on his face.

“I missed you too lovebug, but I’m in the middle of a show! I gotta send you back to mumma.” He said. Stella didn’t like that though, because as soon as the words left his lips she was clinging to him like he was her life force and the tears began streaming down her face. She didn’t like having to share her daddy. She just wanted to be held by him right now, and she’d be damned if she got anything but her way.

This amused everyone, the child's insistence to be in her father's arms, so he sighed and bent to her will because how could he say no to his baby girl?

So he walked over to her mom and got her headphones, slipping them on her, and walked back to his microphone with her on his hip, ready to start the next song.

“Harry and Stella” was trending on twitter the very next morning. No one could get enough of the father-daughter duo.

---

Y/n hadn’t been this nervous since she was about to give birth to Stella. She stood with her baby in her arms as Harry opened the door to his childhood home, announcing to his mom and sister that they were there. She had to wipe her sweaty palms on her jeans more than once.

Anne rushed out from wherever she had been, greeting the three of them. Stella had met Anne via FaceTime many times so it was not news to her (or Gemma) that Harry had stepped into the role of Stella’s father. She will admit she was surprised at first but then she was reminded that Harry had been in their lives for almost a year before Stella had asked the question. It wasn’t something that was rushed into.

Anne was very excited to be meeting her grandbaby and was very excited to meet the girl that had made her a grandmother.

Stella got shy, not being used to seeing “Nana” in person. Gemma had emerged from her spot in the kitchen as well, greeting everyone.

“Hello, my loves! How was the trip?” Anne said, kissing both of them on the cheek, her hand gently caressing the child's cheek in an attempt to get her out of her shell. Once she realized that this was her Nana that was standing before her, Stella reached out for Anne, silently asking to be held by her. Anne jumped at the chance, sweeping the baby into her arms and giving her a big hug, kissing her on the forehead multiple times, not being able to quell her affection for her first grandchild.

“It was good mum, Stell slept the whole way and traffic was pretty light,” Harry said, slipping his hand into his girlfriend’s, brushing his thumb back and forth trying to help calm her anxieties. For whatever reason, Y/n was worried that Gemma and Anne wouldn’t like her because she had come into their son/brother's life with a child, but it was clear that the two ladies loved the idea of Harry being Stella’s father.

“Oh, that's lovely!” She smiled, cuddling Stella impossibly closer to her. Y/n felt most of her worries melt away seeing the woman with her baby.

She felt silly for thinking Anne would be anything but happy.

---

Anne would not put Stella down for anything. The two were attached at the hip every waking second. Y/n was actually starting to miss her baby, but she appreciated getting to spend time with Harry without having to keep an eye on their little one. Gemma was absolutely smitten with Stella as well. She was very excited to be “Auntie Gem” as Stella had quickly adapted to calling her. Stella was very happy as well. She had never been around so much family in her whole life. She’d been so used to just her and her mom, and then just them and Harry, but now she had two whole grandma’s all to herself and an auntie she gets to call her own, something she never knew she was missing, that Y/n never thought her baby would get to have.

Harry was so happy to see his baby with Anne and Gemma. They had been bumped to spot number 3 and 4 on his favorite girl list, with Stella and Y/n taking spots 1 and 2. They didn’t mind one bit.

“Daddy, can we watch a movie?” Stella jumped up onto his lap as he and Y/n sat on the couch, just talking and enjoying each other's company. Y/n smiled at the girl, tightening her grip around Harry’s shoulders, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“Of course we can lovebug! Go get Nana and auntie Gem and we’ll all pick one out together!” He replied, petting her wild baby hairs out of her eyes just like he always did.

“Auntie Gemma said to ask you if we could watch…” She paused for a second, her little finger tapping on her chin like she couldn’t remember what she was gonna say. Suddenly, she was up and running back to the hallway she had just come from. Y/n and Harry heard little whispers before she came running back out and plopped back onto Harry’s lap, on ‘oof’ erupting from him.

“This Is Us!” She finally said. Harry’s face dropped as he looked behind them to see Gemma standing there, trying to hold back her laughter. Y/n just started cackling and Stella was giggling even though she had no idea what was going on.

“Daddy’s in that movie baby,” Y/n finally calmed down enough to say to her daughter. The little one’s eyes lit up, her hands clasped underneath her chin. This was what she did when she wanted her daddy to say yes to her because she knew he couldn’t resist how adorable she was.

“Please please please!!!!!!” She whined, leaning in to place her forehead against Harry’s. She knew exactly how to get him. He caved every single time.

“Yeah, fine. We can watch it!” He finally said and all three girls cheered. Anne came in at the noise wondering what was going on.

“What’s all this?” She asked and Stella ran up to her, pulling on her

“We watching Daddy’s movie Nana!” She said, jumping up and down with a glowing beam on her face.

“Oh, are we now? Which one?” Anne asked and Stella paused.

“Daddy, how many movies awe you in?” She came back and crawled into his lap. She still had trouble saying her r’s. Her and Harry were working on it.

“Two, lovebug. But one of them you can’t watch until you’re older. It’s too scary f’you.” He said, cuddling his baby into his chest. She put on a little pout hearing that. She didn’t like when her daddy told her no, but this was something he wasn’t gonna budge on.

“Ok,” She sighed. All the adults thought this was adorable.

So they all settled in and watched the movie. Harry had a permanent blush on his face and Stella would jump up and down every time he was on the screen.

“Nana look!! That’s you!!” Anne laughed and nodded to her granddaughter.

“Yes, it is baby!”

“Mommy, why aren’t you in this movie?” She asked and everyone giggled.

“Me and Daddy didn’t know each other very well back then, baby.” Y/n laughed. Stella didn’t really understand but she didn’t say anything else.

The last few days had worn her out and that became very obvious when Harry looked down and saw his baby asleep on his chest, her first finger stuck in her mouth just like it always was when she fell asleep.

“Love, I’m gonna go lay her down, and then I’ll be right back,” Harry whispered, cradling the sleeping girl in his arms and slowly standing up. Y/n nodded, kissing his cheek before he left.

“He’s so good with her!” Gemma cooed, her face lighting up seeing her brother with his kid. A sight she was still kind of getting used to seeing.

“He really is…” Y/n smiled, “It was pretty instant too. Anytime he’d come over and she was still awake, he’d insist on putting her to bed, reading to her, singing to her, he’d bring her toys. She’s had him wrapped around her little finger since he first laid eyes on her.”

“That’s so precious,” Anne spoke up, coming to sit next to her, wrapping Y/n in her warm embrace.

“I can’t wait until you two get married!” Y/n laughed at Gemma’s confession, snuggling into Anne.

“All he has to do is ask, I’m ready to say yes!” What none of the girls knew was that Harry was standing right outside the living room, hearing everything that was being said. His mind raced back to his suitcase where a velvet box sat tucked away between all of his clothes.

He was hesitant to bring the idea up because it had only been a year, but the saying when you know, you know he thought.

He came back into the living room, acting none the wiser, sitting on the other side of the girl he was going to marry (she just didn’t know it yet), and cuddled into her just as she had cuddled into his mom.

“Daddy,” A small voice broke through the now quiet hum of the tv.

“Lovebug, what are you doing back up?” He asked, lifting the sleepy little thing into his lap.

“Scawwy dweam, daddy.” She said and he pouted, pulling her closer into his chest and snuggling her back to sleep.

Harry was exactly where he belonged in life. With his baby girl in his arms, and his Love by his side.

1K notes · View notes

atsumuahh · 3 years

Text

“ SECRET LOVER ” dreamwastaken

characters !

dreamwastaken, wilbur’s twin!reader, technoblade, philza, tommyinnit, wilbur soot, karl, sapnap, georgenotfound, drista, tubbo.

summary !

when reader chooses the dsmp high everything seems to be great, but things gets complicated when her brand new crush turns out to be her oldest brother’s rival. it gets even more complicated when he asks her out.

warnings !

swear words, usage of dream’s real name

notes !

dream as a football team captain rent free in my head... and i’m also sorry that it took me so long to write… its almost 3k words and not proofread!

taglist !

@wilczachannn

it was easy to assume that you had been in your brothers’ shadows. techno, wilbur and tommy were talented, football players with great, great achievements. the only thing you wanted was a big change in your life, so when you graduated from the middle school and it came up to making a big decision on choosing high school, you chose the dsmp high – school located an hour away from your house.

you remember your first day at school. the day started awfully. tommy woke you up with a loud yell at – as you rightly guessed – wilbur, who stole his phone and texted to his crush. it turned out that you had twenty minutes left to get ready and leave for bus and not be late. well... you were late on the bus, but thankfully your dad promised he’ll drop you off at school.

phil couldn’t be more proud of you. for real, he knew how hard it was for you to choose different school from techno, wilbur and tommy (everyone know he’ll go after his brothers). you were miserable through your whole middle school, because no one ever noticed you as your own person, only as wilbur’s twin sister, techno’s younger sibling or the only sister of tommy. it cause you to slowly losing yourself and becoming a female version of your brothers. so when you spoke to him about the idea of the dsmp high, he couldn’t get happier.

fortunately, dad dropped you off fifteen minutes before your first period started. wandering around the new school, looking for people you had classes with. you looked at your phone and accidentally bumped into a tall, dirty blonde guy with painted nails and purple sweater.

“oh no- i’m so sorry!” he spoke kind of afraid he might hurt you. “you alright?” a worried ask left his mouth as he put a hand on your shoulder.

it turned out that his name is karl and you took same classes as him. well in fact the boy seemed to be pretty nice, chill and funny. you two were on your way to the biology class and jokes were in the air. you felt so delightful that you messaged wilbur and techno a small text saying you just made your first friend. as no one responded you hid your phone.

“don’t worry, bestie.” he beamed at you. “i’ll meet you with my other friends, if that’s okay. they’ll love you and you won’t have to worry about making ones!” karl whispered into your ear and you couldn’t hide a soft smile that formed on your face.

as he said, he did. it was your lunch pause so he led you to the cafeteria. the idea of sitting at the table with people you didn’t know was.. terrifying but at the same time, so exiting. you felt like your heart skipped a beat when a guy called dream showed up with his best friends george and sapnp.

he was so handsome that you couldn’t take your eyes off him. looking at him was just so pleasing that you were kinda mad that he was karl’s friend so you couldn’t really sigh over him. surprisingly, he turned out to be a nice guy as well. you expected dream to be a completely jerk and an arsehole, but well you started to feel like you’d fall for him.

well… you were right. you fell for clay so deeply that just being around him was… stressing you out. he always cared about you, through your whole freshman year he was so cute and it was hard not to fall.

sophomore year started in a very… unexpected way. you hadn’t seen your friends in weeks, because you have lived so far away, but it didn’t make your brand new friends group to fall apart. you wouldn’t be so surprised if they organized a meet after classes but… well it was a meet, but only with clay. in a shortcut – he took you on a date.

“i missed you so much, y/n/n” he smiled as he shyly took your hand and intertwined your fingers with his. a small, timid smile formed on your blushed face. “fuck… i like you, i have a huge ass crush on you, okay? i-i just don’t wanna mess up our friendship… so please tell me if you don’t feel same” clay spoke with shaking voice, not giving you a sight.

maybe it was the adrenaline that boosted you up, or your inner self just wanted to do it, but as his confession ended, your lips gentlt pressed his. clay was… well shocked is a good word, clay was shocked, but he pulled you in even closer and that’s how you ended up making out in the park.

you were thrilled to the gills and you almost told your brothers about clay. almost, because you heard techno’s talking about a match against the dsmp high. well it wouldn’t be such a big thing if you hadn’t heard dream, and well oh well. words weren’t too nice.

“hi… are you free?” you said softly, sitting on your bed. you were frightened – what if they don’t like each other? what if… wilbur and tommy also don’t like him? “you know techno, right? technoblade minecraft?” a quiet ask left your mouth as you sat under the tree in your yard.

“yes, unfortunately.” his response made you thought that you had annoyed him. “wait, why you’re asking? did he hurt you or something?” dream didn’t let you answer as he added i’m gon’ kill him under his breathe.

“noo, don’t worry” you clutched your head and sighed. “he’s… my brother, older brother, actually”. silence between you two were clearly killing you, but you couldn’t be one to break it. he had to say something.

“oh my fuck” you heard his shocked voice and chuckled in response. “it doesn’t matter. you’re the one i fell in love with, not he. i know you’re worried, but everything will be alright.”.

“i hope so” his laughter calmed you. “i’ll call you later so we can fall asleep on call okay? dinner’s ready”.

”it’s kinda forbidden love, isn’t it?” george laughed as he wrapped his arm around you with a cute smile. brown haired boy was waiting along with you at your whole friends’ group. “y’know… techno is your brother and also a rival of your boyfriend… it’s exciting”.

you almost gasped at his words. it felt so silly and people would probably find it meaningless, but you couldn’t hide a smile that appeared on your face. he didn’t say techno’s sister like everyone from the middle school would say, george said that he’s your brother.

“as long as i love her, nothing else really matters to me” clay’s voice was so sweet that you almost melted under it. he was right, there’s no reason to overthink – you love him and it’s the only thing that matters.

“yeah, you should definitely tell him that at the match on saturday.” oh my fucking god, a match. the elimination match between the dsmp high and the lmanburg high. you were completely between a rock and a hard place.

“fuck, i forgot about it.” wrapping his arms around your body, dream felt how stressed you began to get. he also felt when your body unwittingly started to shake. “he’ll hate me, so will wilbur and tommy.”

“aren’t they already hating you? like- you barely talk to them at home, so… what’s the problem?” sapnap asked shrugging. well, he was right – techno lost his interest in talking to you and unfortunately wilbur and tommy took their cue from him, and the only person you had talked to was your dad.

“you’re coming to our match, right?” karl asked with a nervous smile forming on his face. it was his first match ever on the team – you couldn’t not be there. “it doesn’t who will you cheer for, just be there, okay?”

“karl, of course i will be there” you smiled at him, trying to hide your increasing stress that almost made you pass out. “please win this, okay? it’d be too hard to look at your miserable faces.”

tommy had always been your favorite of them all. as a child he wouldn’t let you go and sometimes it was obviously burdensome, but you loved it. you loved how he cared and now you missed it. he wanted, but he couldn’t talk to you, techno and wilbur would be pissed if he did.

he wondered about telling you how well he made friends in high school along with tubbo. about all of the funny jokes he made. he just wanted to be a teenager that shares cool memories with his older sister, but for now his brothers were too proud to apologize.

“wil, are you sure we should do that?” he asked, uneasiness appearing on his pale face. he genuinely missed his big sister that always helped him with his homework, with choosing cool outfits to impress girls, helped him, when he argued with tubbo. “she looks so miserable. even dad is worried!”

“we have nothing to do with her miserableness. she left us first. now, she can go and fuck herself” wilbur had never acted lke that before, so surprised tommy just frowned at him and shook his head in hopelessness. something was off and he would like to know what. to repair it.

his stomach rambled and it was time for a snack. tommy was about to came in, but he heard a bit of a conversation between philza and his only daughter.

“yeah, they do kinda hate me” she shrugged, not letting her tears fall. “uhm… clay proposed that i could stay at his. you know, dad. until… they start talking to me again.” long sigh left her mouth as she clutched her head in hands, right before he noticed tears. tommy couldn’t do more, so he got back to his room not letting anyone in later that evening.

it’d be a lie if someone said that tommy wasn’t stressed out. his first game was in a few minutes and his sister was nowhere to be found. “she has better things to do, i disappointed her - i shouldn’t be so shocked.”

when he saw her, he felt relieved. she was there to support him in his first game in high school ever, but as he watched her, slowly drifting away, looking for someone different in the crowd of people, he was hurt.

“i can’t believe you really choose to avoid the affection from dream for today, because your brothers are here. you should fuck them three” sapnap laughed, looking over your shoulder at tommy. “two. he looks hurt as well as you.” you know he was, but he didn’t do anything because the pressure techno and wilbur put on him, was killing him inside.

“y/n you came!” karl cried out, running towards you and sapnap. he hugged you tight and smiled softly, giggling noiselessly. “did y/n’s brothers saw it? i was literally her ride.”

“excuse me, you did that on purpose?” george laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. you joined him, but you stopped when you saw tommy’s upset, frightened face. it wasn’t only karl’s first game – it was tommy’s as well.

“i gotta talk to him” you sighed exhausted of the whole drama around you and your brothers. or just around you, wilbur and techno. your little brother had nothing to do with it. “tommy, hi” you started a bit nervous, feeling the tension betweet you two. and firstly, you thought he will just go away, but you gasped as he hugged you tight.

“i missed you so much” he whispered so anyone could hear but you. soft smile showed up on his face, making it way more brighter. “thanks for coming here, i know it’s rought between you and wil. he’s kinda mad but everything will be fine, i know that.” you wrapped arms around his torso and smiled widely.

“you’ve got this, okay tommy?” you brushed his hair. in response you got a growl and loud laugh after. “if you win or if you lose, it doesn’t matter, because i will still love you, but i’ve gotta go back to my friends.” you beamed and left tommy as soon as you saw wilbur storming towards you.

me: can’t wait to see you on the field :)

you felt like melting, when dream looked at you with his happy, excited face. you were so proud of him – he was the captain of the school football team and it was known that he has a sport scholarship. despite your brothers’ presence, you planned to show clay some support and you painted a medium #21 on your black, denim jacket.

clay: can’t wait to see you on my bed, right next to the trophy i’ll get as a captain.

he hadn’t lie. you sat on his messy bed, in his messy bedroom, talking to his younger sister drista. she was adorably bewitching. she was a bit younger than tommy, but thankfully she wasn’t as loud as him. you laughed after hearing her awful joke.

“so… you’re living here by now?” she asked curiously, frowning. her eyes scanning your, now, blushed face, waiting on the answer. “please, i cannot stand his my-girlfriend-lives-so-far-and-i-can’t-sneak-into-her-room-and-kiss.” she rolled her eyes, but smile widely.

“oh, yeah.” you blushed even harder as she laughed at your already blushed face. “i’m just worried if he’s okay with us hiding, you know? i mean– he could be with someone else, someone… someone better.”

drista didn’t know what to say and you knew she didn’t have to. you were scared – because of your situation that had place in middle school – he will just leave your for someone better, someone prettier, smarter, cuter.

unfortunately for you, clay had heard your every single word. he coughed, letting drista know that she should go. girl smiled at you before leaving you two alone. him, standing in front of you with only his sweatpants on. “y/n” he started as he got closer.

“i- i- can not tell i know how you feel or how you should feel. and-and i genuinely do not care about anyone else but you. i love you, okay dumbass?” he sat as close as possible and beamed softly.

“you won’t replace me?” the whole thing between you and clay was terrifying you so much. is he lying about his feelings? is he really in love with you? or maybe you’re just a bet? you almost shook your head as the thoughts began to overwhelm you.

he wouldn’t do that. and if he would, some of his friends (yours as well) would kill him. you couldn’t be more happier at the moment. your boyfriend had just told you that he loves you for the very first time, you made amazing friends that would kill for you and vice versa, but there was one thing you had to fix. the relationship with techno and wilbur.

“i could never replace you, love”.

“you sure you wanna do it?” clay asked, gently rubbing your thigh with his thumb, sitting in the front seat of his car. you were about to tell your whole family that clay dream is your boyfriend. the guy your older brother claimed to hate. lots of fun, right?

you nodded unsure, getting out of the car. it was your first time seeing your brothers in over a month and – boy, oh boy – you were terrified. did they miss you? did they even notice you were gone? you wished they did. you weren’t even able to ring the doorbell, because tommy opened the door with a huge grin.

“i’ve been waiting for you.” he confessed, closing you in a tight hug. he let you off as soon as he noticed smiled dream standing right behind you. “and who are you, mister?” suspicious question left tommy’s mouth.

“i’m y/n’s boyfriend, clay” dream beamed at tommy as he let you in. shock finding their way onto his face was… quite hilarious. he mumbled something under his breathe, but you couldn’t catch it.

as soon as you got onto the dining room, you saw wilbur, techno and dad setting the table. tommy coughed, couldn’t hide his happiness. his sister is back and he can’t let her go ever again.

“hi…” you started, your voice getting shaky. “i wanted to explain some things and it’d be a pleasure if you would accept my new boyfriend, especially technoblade.” dream took your sweaty with nervousness hand to calm you. he knew it was tough for you, knowing that him and techno are rivals. “this is clay and i know you know him, and you’re not on the good terms, but please just… finally talk to me, because i miss both of you and i’d love to have either my brothers and boyfriend close as possible.” you finished glancing at techno and wilbur.

“y/n, i’m just sad you didn’t want to go to same school with me. you had never told me why, we were inseparable and everything changed within days.” wilbur was first to answer you. his dejected voice made you crying. you missed him, his voice, his advices, his presence around you. “everytime i woke up, you were already running on the bus and we didn’t have a chance to talk.”

“i- you- you’re right. i should’ve told you why did i choose the dsmp high. i did, because i began to lose myself, everyone saw me only as your sister and i started to think that i do not matter anymore. i had to change it and i had to show everyone that i’m not just yours and techno’s sister, but i’m my own persona.” wil stood up and got closer to you. your tears convinced him that you weren’t lying and he felt bad that he didn’t realize it sooner. “i’m so sorry”.

“no- no, i’m also sorry. i’m the one that should apologizing. you were just choosing your own path and i was mad at you, because of that. ‘m sorry y/n/n.” you smiled through tears and hugged him as tight as you only could.

“there’s no much drama between us” techno chuckled quietly, watching you and wilbur cuddling. “i already knew what’s going on between you two at the match. i just took wil’s side.” he shrugged and you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief. “well, it doesn’t mean i like you” he claimed glaring at your boyfriend. “i can tolerate you as long as you’ll treat y/n the best you can, otherwise i’ll kill you”.

“i agree and so does tommy” your twin added, looking dream dead in the eyes.

“maybe we’ll stop the death threats here and start eating?” your dad proposed with a cheerful smile. his kids were finally getting along again, he couldn’t be more proud or happier than at the moment.

“it went so well” you whispered delighted. you were snuggling with dream on your bed, some time after the dinner ended. phil suggested that he could stay for the night, so they can get to know him better.

tommy was thrilled to the bones about the fact that now, he has a new friend, older than him, and also a captain of the football team, so he could teach him how to play better. wil was… well wil. he made sure that dream didn’t have any wrong intentions and techno just couldn’t care less if you were happy with him. he even suggested that they should bury the hatchet and move on.

“i haven’t said that to anyone yet, but i love you” you said, almost skipping a bit when he held your head and gently kissed you.

“well, you already know that i’m head over heels in love with you. and it won’t ever change” he said and kissed you one more time.

392 notes · View notes

literaila · 4 years

Text

this vast empty space

spencer reid x reader

request: I’ve had this idea floating in my head after watching some One Tree Hill and Criminal Minds one day👀 what if the reader and Spencer have a child together but things are getting a little rocky with reader and Spence and they’re arguing so Spencer spends a lot of time at JJ’s with his child and JJ’s kids and one day the reader doesn’t let her child do something so they get mad and say they wish JJ was their mom🥺 but somehow a fluffy ending? Idk🗿

warnings: angsty. panic attacks. me. its super duper long...um...depression symptoms...fighting....thats all.............enjoy!

“You’re taking her over to JJ’s?”

There was this distance.

There was an impenetrable wall. It was standing between the two of them, blocking their eyes, blocking their bodies from ever touching, from ever looking at one another.

There was this wall.

It was stuck between them, stuck standing there keeping them from each other, stuck living next to them, living with them, breathing in their space.

This distance, this wall, this irritable thing standing between the two of them forcing them apart, forcing an uncomfortable feeling over their house, over their relationship, over their family.

It was unavoidable.

It was impossible to remove.

“Yeah,” Spencer said, not making eye contact, not even saying the words in her direction, just tying their daughter's shoes, too focused on her to even spare a glance at Y/N. “I thought a playdate with Henry would be fun.”

She watched small hands wrap around his neck, watched him gently pick up their daughter, still avoiding looking at her. She watched her daughter whisper in his ear, watched him smile at her. She watched her daughter's eyes light up at him.

She watched and she felt like she was far far away from them.

“When will you guys be back?” Y/N asked quietly, standing, vulnerable, in their doorway, standing just watching the two people she loved the most get ready to leave, getting ready to leave without her.

Playing with her sweater, moving it over her hands as to hide herself, as to feel smaller, she stared at the floor waiting for them to walk out.

There was this feeling, a feeling that rested around her body like a blanket, a feeling that made her feel like she wasn't supposed to be there, made her feel like she was just a spare piece, that they didn't need her.

She didn't want them to walk out the door.

“We’ll probably stay the night,” Spencer said, still not looking at her, he hadn't been looking at her recently, his voice was a void of numbness, his tone nonchalant, never caring. “I don't want her to stay up too late.”

Y/N looked up and stared at his back, she stared at her daughter who was smiling at him, she felt a small grin on her face. She felt her mood lift just a little bit, felt the blanket fall just a couple of inches off her shoulder. She was lucky that her daughter couldn't feel the space between them, she was lucky her daughter hadn't caught on yet.

She was lucky she had a happy little girl.

Y/N made a small grunt of acknowledgement, made a quiet noise that she hoped wasn't showing her displeasure in the situation, she kept her mouth shut so they wouldn't yell at each other again. She sighed gently, already exhausted, and walked over to the pair. She walked over and got closer to Spencer than she had been in days, she could feel his body heat reflecting off of hers.

She felt so uncomfortable. She felt so out of place in her own home.

She smiled at her daughter, smiled at the crinkles around her eyes, and the dream-like gaze she had in her eyes, and ran a gentle hand over her face, moving the curly brown hair out of Fayre’s eyes. She poked her cheek, searching for the dimples she knew would show up.

“I’ll miss you, Fay. Be back tomorrow?” She asked, repeating the words her daughter had said to her multiple times, repeating the words that always seemed to comfort Fayre. Y/N hoped they would comfort her.

“Be back tomorrow, Momma.”

Y/n gave her another smile, hoping the sadness she felt wasn't showing in her eyes. She kissed Fayre’s head gently.

“Okay.” She said moving away from the two of them, trying to not let her chest fall at the thought of them leaving for the night. She looked over at Spencer, who was staring at the floor still avoiding her eyes, and she felt her smile fade from her face. “Bye Spence. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Spencer nodded. He walked over to the door and grabbed his bag. With Fayre on his shoulder he opened the door, Y/N watched Fayre wave happily at her, calling “Bye Momma!” as Spencer walked away.

She watched Spencer not even glance back at her.

Y/N watched them leave.

***

Weeks was a brief way to put it.

The distance between Y/N and Spencer.

Y/N wasn't sure when she had decided to start picking fights, to start bickering with him every moment they were together, to bicker with him until they were openly fighting with each other.

She wasn't sure when that had started.

She can remember the fight that it had all begun with.

She can remember telling Spencer she was thinking about resigning from the BAU.

She can remember how surprised she was when he got mad.

She couldn't remember anything after that.

But there was a tension, a distinct tension between the two, that had put them both into defensive mode. The tension had made them disagree with anything the other said, and the few times they had been able to talk out their problems, those couple of times, the tension was always there the next day.

The tension eventually turned into distance.

And then Spencer was leaving the house for longer, he was spending more time in his office, he was sleeping at JJ’s.

He had started sleeping at JJ’s. He couldn't stand to stay with her, to sleep in the same room with her, so he went to his best friend. So he left.

Y/N usually stayed home with Fayre, usually spent their time off taking care of her daughter.

It seemed like they couldn't even be in the same room for ten minutes without fighting. They couldn't even have a conversation about the doctor's appointment Fayre had next week without arguing about something completely useless.

Y/N hated it.

She hated it so much. She hated that she never got the opportunity to talk to her husband. She hated that they hadn't spent time as a family, all together, in the past couple of months the fighting had been going on. She hated that when they were working when they were helping each other on a cause, she hated the distance that rested between them.

She hated not talking to him.

She hated not seeing him smile.

She missed cuddling with him.

She missed absolutely everything about him.

But she didn't know what to do.

Should she talk to him? Apologize? Explain to him how she felt? Would that do any good, or would it just cause another fight between the two of them, another layer in the wall they were constructing?

She didn't know what to do.

She wasn't sure if there was anything left for the two of them. Wasn't sure if there was anything she could say without it ending in a fight.

Spencer was sleeping at JJ’s.

So she spent time with her daughter. She basked in the love that her daughter offered her free of charge. She spent her days coloring with her, making cupcakes, and taking her to the park. She spent her days playing with old toys, watching Disney movies, and talking to Fayre about anything that was going on in her 3-year-old mind. She loved every second she got to spend happily with her little girl.

But when Spencer wanted to see her, when Spencer wanted to be the good Dad that he always had been, when Spencer wanted to spend him with their daughter and still had to actively avoid Y/N while doing it… Those days Y/N spent alone.

She spent those days alone cleaning their house, cleaning her daughter's room and Spencer’s office, doing laundry, and reorganizing anything she could, she spent those days going to buy more groceries and catching up on things that she had meant to do months ago. She spent those days in her house, surrounded by things that just reminded her of how much she loved her family, surrounded by things that just filled her with doubt and hopelessness.

She spent those days alone.

She pretended that everything was the same as it was months ago, that she and Spencer still felt desperately in love every waking moment, that their small family was as content as could be, she pretended that she didn't feel the numbness in her chest when she wasn't doing something, she pretended that it was all the same.

And she was happy.

She pretended for her daughter, she didn't want her daughter to grow up in a home where everyone was sad, she didn't want her daughter to learn that being happy isn't normal for most people. She pretended for Spencer too, because she knew, she had always known, that even when they were fighting, even with the distance between them keeping them so so far away, she knew that if she said a word, if she voiced her doubts, Spencer would be there in a flash.

He would hold her and reassure her that everything was okay, he would tell her that he loved her.

And she wasn't so sure that was true.

She wasn't sure if Spencer still felt tied to her. If he still felt his heartburn with the adoration he had for her. She wasn't even sure if Spencer still wanted to try and change.

But he was a good person, and he was an amazing husband, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for his family. Including lie.

So she didn't say a word.

She just pretended. Just pretended everything was fine.

Everything was just fine.

***

It had been days.

Days since she’d seen Spencer, days since they’d both been in the same room, days since she had yelled at him, had yelled harsher and angrier than she ever thought she could be. Days since she’d talked to him.

JJ was their saving grace.

JJ texted Y/N, and came to pick up Fayre so Spencer could see her, JJ spent time with her husband and her daughter, JJ spent every day with Spencer and didn't tell Y/N anything about him, only gave her a small pitiful smile every time she saw her, JJ who had Spencer sleeping over at her house.

Y/N didn't know how to feel.

Sometimes she worried she didn't feel anything.

She could only hear the yelling in her head, could only remember how sore her throat had been the next day, could only remember the fury in Spencer's eyes, could only remember the way he slammed the door, could only remember the words she’d said to him.

“She’s my daughter!”

Spencer sighed and moved past her to their dresser, he was packing more clothes, more clothes so he could leave again, so he could leave and go back to JJ’s. He still wouldn't look at her.

“Spencer. She's my daughter and I don't want her gone every other night!”

Y/N wasn't sure when she had started yelling, wasn't sure when she had gotten so angry. She only knew that there was a knife digging into her chest, a knife that was digging under her skin, a knife that was begging her to fight back, a knife that was fueling her rage, she was angry, she was so so angry.

And Spencer didn't seem to care. He didn't seem to say anything to her, he only let her yell at him while he walked around the room getting all the things he thought he would need. He wouldn't look at her, and he wouldn't pay her words any mind, and it was infuriating.

The knife only dug deeper with every ignored statement Y/N made.

“Spencer, are you even going to look at me? Do you even care?”

And with that Spencer turned around, he turned around quickly, his entire body tense and stiff.

Y/N felt her breath catch at the look on his face.

He was angry. She could see that clearly in his eyes, his face looked about to break, looked ready to throw everything he had at her, the anger that looked infused into his eyes scared her, the tension in his jaw made her back away from him.

She’d never seen him angry like that.

“Of course I care Y/N! I can't look at you because I can't bear to see the person that thought we weren't good enough- you thought I wasn't good enough! I don't want to look at you!”

The knife retracted at his words, pulled out of her, scared by the reaction, a reaction she had never expected. The knife- the anger -wasn't prepared for him to be mad at her, it wasn't prepared for him to get angry, to actually react to the words she’d been saying.

Y/N was counting on the fact that he had been ignoring her.

She took a minute to think, to take in his words, to think about everything he had said, everything that he hadn't said in the weeks they’d been distant, the knife retracted, and she thought.

She thought she thought

And then the knife plunged back into her.

Deeper.

“She's my fucking daughter Spencer! I’m sorry that I’m her mom and you don't want to deal with me but nothing can change that now! You should at least have the decency to talk to me about her!” She spat the words at him, flung them like weapons, like acid that was going to burn his skin, to burn him to nothing.

She didn't care, she didn't care about his reaction, she didn't care if he was mad at her, she didn't care what he thought, she didn't care that they were fighting, all she cared about was making him see, making him feel the way she’d felt for months.

Like everything was her fault.

“You can leave me all you want Spencer!” she screamed at him, her face red, her hands shaking, her entire body rocking with the force of her emotions, the knife digging, she screamed at him angrily, desperately “You can leave if you don't want to be here! But Fayre will not leave, this is her home. She wants to be here!”

And Spencer stared at her shocked, stared at her as he had never seen her before, had never ever met her, he just looked at her like she was someone he couldn't recognize.

Y/N didn't know what he was thinking, didn't know if his shocked face was because of her words, or because of the yelling she had always tried to keep in. She stared at him, she stared at him and suddenly felt like she was crazy like she shouldn't have even been there, she stared at him and she could feel herself shrink in size. She could feel the knife disappear, and be replaced with an empty hole that filled her.

Spencer suddenly walked out of the room.

Y/N took a moment, took a moment to process what had happened, took a moment to recognize the hole that was now in her body, she moved her hands to her chest as to feel for it, as to make sure it wasn't actually there.

She couldn't feel anything.

After that moment she stormed for the door, stormed to go find Spencer, stormed because she wasn't ready for him to give up, to just leave once again.

She stormed out of their room and she was met with a door about to close, a tiny hand she could see through the crack.

She stared as the door slammed, more harsh and more final than any words she had screamed.

She stared and watched her daughter leave with her husband.

She felt her heart rush, and her head filled with air and,

There was a hole in her chest and she was trying to grab it, trying to find it trying to trying to,

There was nothing there but the empty house she was stuck in.

JJ had brought her back the next day. Had given her that sad smile, and then left.

Y/N wondered why her husband wasn't back.

She wondered why he wasn't coming back.

She wondered if he would ever come back.

So did Fayre. Every day it was the same question “Where's Daddy?” which was answered with a blank “I don't know little love. I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” and then “Be back tomorrow Momma?” which was asked after a couple of days. And the same answer was always “I don't know Fayre.”

Because Y/N had no clue. She had no idea what her husband was doing, no idea when he was coming back, no idea when he wanted to see their daughter, no idea what to do.

She caught glances of him at work. The team had been under strict orders for only in state cases, enforced by Strauss, and so there was nowhere else she could see him. But there were moments. There were moments when he was there, but Hotch had told her he had requested to finish his work at him, had requested to stay out of the office for a while, and Hotch had agreed. He’d even looked shocked when Y/N asked if he knew where Spencer was.

Because she was supposed to know.

But she didn't.

There were moments where she saw him come into the office, small moments where she only got glimpses of his hair, of one of his vests. Little moments that reassured her that he was still there, that he hadn't left completely.

She prepared herself for the news that he had resigned, news that there was somewhere else Spencer was going, prepared herself so much. She had told him to go, told him to leave her, why wouldn't he?

She prepared herself for the inevitable news she had set herself up for.

But it hasn't come yet.

Instead, she had gotten news of a party, one that Rossi was throwing, a celebration for whatever reason he had proclaimed. She’d gotten the news, and she’d been told that she had to go, that there was no backing out.

And she’d agreed.

Besides, it would be good for her to get out of the house, to go somewhere with her friends where she wasn't constantly looking up from her desk for something.

She’d been told to take Fayre, told that Jack and Henry and Micheal would all be there, that her little girl should go have fun with them.

She’d agreed.

But she knew that taking Fayre would mean passing her off, would mean giving her to Spencer so that they could spend more time together.

She’d been in a mood all morning because of it.

It had started with breakfast, which she had burned while helping Fayre get dressed, and then it was the loud TV playing while she wasn't trying to finish up some paperwork, and then it was the headache that was burning her eyes, and then it was packing up Fayre’s things.

She felt so overwhelmed, felt so nervous to see Spencer for the first time, felt so sad that she was going to have to go home without her daughter.

She felt like she was doing everything wrong, felt like she couldn't even keep her family together, couldn't even keep her daughter happy for one day without Spencer.

She felt like she shouldn’t have to do any of it without Spencer, felt so angry that he was forcing her to pass their daughter off like she was a present.

She felt so so overwhelmed.

But she had to keep a smile on her face, she had to let her husband be a good Dad, she had to let her daughter spend time with her favorite person in the world, and she had to be happy while she did it. Her daughter deserved a happy Mother. She deserved everything.

She didn't deserve what was happening to her parents.

When it was finally time to leave Y/N could feel the nerves bunch up from her feet to the tip of her head, she felt them collect together like a bunch of bugs crawling up her skin, and she felt like she was going to puke.

She could see Spencer. She could. It was the first time in days, the first time she would ever have to directly talk to him. But she could do it. She could she could.

She wasn't sure.

She helped Fayre pack the last of her clothes, grabbed the couple of things she hadn't put in her bag earlier when she heard crying come from the other room.

Immediately she prepared herself for the worst, she felt desperate to get it to stop.

She walked into their living room and saw her daughter sitting on the floor trying to put her shoes on. Tears were running down Fayre’s face as she messed with the laces, as she tried to remember what her Dad had done for her so many times. She looked up at her Mom and whined.

Y/N went over to her, sad to see her crying on the floor, sad to see her crying over something that she could’ve just asked for help for.

“Daddy always do it. I don't how to.” Fayre said angry, her words coming out rushed, skipping over the words she had not yet learned how to say. She was pulling at the strings harder, and Y/N tried to move her hands away from the laces so she couldn't hurt herself.

That was when she started yelling.

“No! No!” she said as she hit Y/N’s hands away, as she pushed her away.

“Fayre. It's okay, just help me, help sweetheart.”

“No! Daddy always do it! Daddy do it! Not Momma!” she was opening yelling, the tears streaming down her red face as she threw her hands up, not sure how to express her emotions.

“Let Momma do it once, it's okay sweetie we can do it.”

Y/N could feel herself getting more frustrated, could feel the nerves still collecting in her body, she didn't know what to do, and she didn't feel like she could deal with a breakdown from her daughter right now.

Not when she was inches away from having one herself.

She tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm herself down, and remind herself that Fayre was only three, that she was confused, and she missed her dad, and that she needed to be calm with her.

“Fayre, I’m sorry sweetie, Daddy’s not here. Let me help and we can go see him.” Y/N said calmly, kneeling in front of her daughter who was looking at her angrily.

“No! Daddy! Not you! Don't want you!” Fayre said as she got up, her shoes still untied, as she tried to run for the door.

Y/N could feel her anger go up.

“Fayre Diana. Don't run away.” Y/N said sternly.

Her daughter was crying and screaming, and banging on the door desperately like she was trying to get out, she was yelling so loud, and Y/N’s head was pounding. And her daughter was upset, and she was upset and she didn't know what to do.

What should she do what should she do?

She felt the anger rush up into her head, flashing her eyes red, she felt herself hit her breaking point, felt everything coming to her at once, felt so done, so tired and she just wanted it to stop.

“Fayre! Daddy isn't here! I need you to listen to me!” she yelled, moving over to her daughter who was too small to resist Y/N picking her up. Fayre kicked and tried to push her away as Y/N walked over to their couch.

“We won't go if you don't let me help you.” She said, no longer yelling, but her voice with much more power.

And Fayre stared at her, her eyes wide and almost sad, she stared at her and she started to cry even more.

Y/N watched as her daughter's eyes welled up in tears, as her daughter was hyperventilating, so sad, and so little, she felt herself breaking at the sight.

And she tried to grab her arm, trying to do anything to calm her down.

“No! I don't want you!” Fayre screamed pushing Y/N away, pushing her away and looking at her angrily. “I want JJ! You not nice! JJ!”

And everything stopped.

Everything just stopped.

Y/N could feel everything drain from her body, all her emotions all her thought all her organs, she felt it all fall away from her, felt her heart crack into so many pieces it was practically dust because

She wasn't good enough

She wasn't enough

She wasn't

I want JJ!

I want

Her daughter didn't want her, and her husband didn't want her, and she didn't want her, and there was nothing there was nothing

There was so much

She felt everything collapse from within and she couldn't find the words, didn't know how to breathe, didn't know how to remove the air that was filling her body, didn't know how to breathe

How do you breathe how do you-

She wasn't good enough.

She wasn't good.

She wasn't.

She. she she.

There was nothing left of her.

Nothing but the ashes that were barely enough to fill her feet, let alone the hole that was left within her body, the hole that had been building up for weeks.

There was nothing.

Everything stopped.

Everything just stopped.

And she stared at her daughter, her daughter who wasn't saying anything, barely even looked like she was breathing, and she stared at her and.

Everything started again.

Fayre was looking at her, tears running down her cheeks, and Y/N watched as she came over and hugged her legs, she watched as Fayre listed out apologizes, watched as she looked up at her, sad by the tears running down her Moms cheeks.

She didn't know what to do.

She didn't she didn't.

She ignored it.

Nothing had happened nothing was happening, she was whole she was completely there, there was nothing wrong.

Nothing had happened.

They were going to be late.

***

She stood there numb.

Numb as she watched her daughter laugh with Spencer and JJ.

She stood there and she felt nothing at all.

She watched her friends dance and laugh and play games, she watched the kids run around Rossi’s yard, giggly and happy as could be.

She watched everyone else enjoy themselves, and she couldn't feel anything.

She didn't know what she was supposed to feel.

Was she supposed to be sad? Sad that her daughter considered JJ a better mom than she did Y/N?

Was she supposed to be angry? Angry that Fayre had adapted to JJ’s house so much that she thought she was better?

Was she supposed to be annoyed? Or heartbroken? Was she supposed to frustratingly yell at JJ, to yell at Spencer?

Was there something she was supposed to feel? Something she was supposed to do.

She didn't know.

All she knew was the numbness she’d been submerged in, the numbness that had taken over her body when it had fallen to pieces, fallen apart on her living room floor, the numbness that put clouds in her brain, clouds that forced her to think but not to feel.

Was there something she was supposed to be feeling?

She didn't feel anything.

She just watched, she watched Hotch laugh with the boys, and Derek talk with Emily and Penelope pull funny faces to make Fayre laugh. She watched as JJ stood with her arms wrapped around Will, watched as Rossi grilled something and yelled out things.

She watched all of them feel.

She didn't dare look at Spencer.

When she had arrived with Fayre, immediately she’d let her run to her Father, let her go hug him desperately, and had not let herself spare a glance at him. She didn't want to see him and she didn't want to think about how he had left, about how he had taken her advice, about how their daughter would be so much better off with a mom who knew what she was doing.

She didn't want to think about all the ways she had disappointed her family.

She didn't want to think at all.

So she didn't look at him, didn't watch him the way she always did, didn't say a single word to him. She wouldn't allow herself that.

She was looking down at the pavement when Derek came over to her.

“Hey Pretty Girl,” he said, as he stood next to her, holding out a drink for her, which she took nonchalant as she looked back at the ground.

“Hey,” she said quietly, her voice void of emotion, her body void of everything.

“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, moving his head down so he could get a look at her face.

She looked up at his words, her neck snapping at the question.

“Nothing,” she said, looking in his eyes, which were glazed with concern.

“What's going on Pretty girl? You’ve been standing here alone all night?” Derek said, putting a reassuring arm on her shoulder.

She didn't feel a thing.

“Nothings going on. I’m just tired,” she said, again, looking back at the ground. She was tired of thinking.

‘Y/N.” Derek said, moving her chin so she was looking in his eyes again. “Seriously, what's wrong?”

Y/N stayed silent, willed her body to feel nothing, to think nothing, because there was nothing wrong, there was nothing wrong.

She looked back down.

“Alright.” Derek sighed, taking the drink he had given her from her hand and setting it down on a nearby table. He grabbed her hand and led her away from the party, away from everything else. She wondered where they were going.

When they finally stopped at a small garden farther into Rossi’s backyard Derek halted and turned to stare at her again.

“What's going on with you and Spencer?”

Y/N felt herself crack at that. Felt the numbness drain only a smidge, from her body, felt her staring at Derek urgently, felt her mind trying to run again.

“Nothing. There's nothing.” She said quickly, her words jumbled, her heart racing.

“You think I haven't noticed the way you two have been acting recently? He's been staring at you all night, and you haven't said a word to anyone. Something is going on. What is it?”

She looked down, surprised by his words, emotion was filling her body but she was begging herself to just keep it out, to just not feel anything.

She didn't want to feel anything.

“Derek I-” and she broke. Her body was flooded with memories and thoughts and emotions, and she could feel the dam breaking in her eyes and she felt everything all at once and she just wanted it to stop. She didn't want to feel any of it. Why wouldn't it just stop?

Derek pulled her into his chest. He pulled her in tight and rubbed her back and she tried to calm herself down, as she tried to keep in all the emotions her body was begging her to let out.

“Shh, Pretty Girl... It’ll be alright. Just breathe.” He said as she rested her cheek on her chest, as she felt her body start to panic, her mind started to buzz with the overwhelming feeling.

What would she do? Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter didn't want her. Her daughter had said she didn't want her and she didn't know what to do what would she do her daughter didn't didn't want her-

“Fayre said she wanted JJ.” she cried out desperately, the words tumbling out of her like an avalanche, she could feel herself still panicking, she could feel the buzzing of her brain flow to the rest of her body. What would she do-

“What do you mean.”

“Fayre,” she breathed, “she said that I- I was mean.” she gasped and more tears rolled down her cheeks like rocks falling “and that- she wanted JJ- not-” her body was buzzing in the panic that had contained her “not me,” she said and she cried. She cried against her friend as her family was only a short distance away, as her family had no idea how worthless, how broken she was.

Derek just let her cry. He let her sob out different words, he looked down at her concerned, wondering when she had fallen apart. Wondered why he was the one comforting her instead of her husband, her husband who was only 100 feet away.

The panic was still there, still shaking her heart back and forth, still buzzing loud in her brain, but she was breathing, she had gotten the words out, the terrifying words that she so desperately wanted to pretend didn't exist.

She was starting to breathe.

Why did she have to feel anything?

Derek held her, held her close, held her because that was what she needed, she needed her husband but she needed something she needed someone.

He listened as she gasped out her last sob, as her crying started to slow down.

He moved back. He kept his hands on her shoulder as she looked up at him.

She looked so small, her eyes bloodshot, her face pale, she looked like a little kid who had no idea what to do, she looked so small standing there with him.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he searched her face.

She took a shaky breath as she said “Thank you. Better now.”

She didn't think she had the energy to say anything else.

***

It was time to go. It was time to go back to her house, her empty house, it was time to go back to her numbness, which was empty, just like her house.

They were quite the pair.

It was time to say goodbye to Fayre, time to send her off with her Dad, and with JJ who didn't disappoint the two of them.

In a way, Y/N was thankful to JJ, because she knew that JJ would take care of her family, she knew that JJ would be there for them if they needed anything. She knew that if she couldn't make them happy, at least JJ could.

She tried to ignore the envy she felt towards JJ. She tried to ignore the anger she wanted to feel. She knew it wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault that she didn't disappoint.

It was Y/N’s.

At least she thought at least they have someone.

She just wanted them to be happy.

It was time to say goodbye, as everyone started heading towards their cars, tired and ready to go home, Fayre walked over to her mom, her smile shining bright as she led Spencer towards Y/N.

They were walking over to Y/N together, Fayre pulling her dad along, pulling him over to her. He was coming over, he was coming over. Y/N didn't let her heart feel anything, she didn't let her eyes drift toward him.

“Momma!” Fayre yelled excitedly, throwing herself into Y/N’s arms.

“Hi, baby.” Y/N said quietly, looking at her beautiful daughter, staring at the one relief she had from it all. “Did you have fun?” She said softly.

“Yeah, Momma! We did games, and Daddy did trick!” She was much too loud and excited for the late hour, but Y/N was happy to see her so full of energy, so alive.

“Did he?”

“Yeah! And he said do more!” she was smiling over at her dad, but Y/N didn't take her eyes off of Fayre.

“More later?” she said quietly, her mood only slightly deflated at the thought of them leaving.

“Yeah!” Y/N kept a smile on her face, kept her smile, but couldn't change the disappointment stuck in her eyes, she smiled at Fayre and kissed her on the cheek.

“You go with Daddy alright? Be back tomorrow?” Y/N said, laughing a little at the words. She had given up, given up on trying to stop the tears stinging at her eyes. She was smiling at her daughter, but she felt like sobbing against her.

Just another way to disappoint the two of them.

“Why sad Momma?” Fayre asked, her little hand rubbing Y/N’s cheek as she wiped away the one tear she had let go. Y/N wished she wasn't as smart as she was.

“I’m not sad little love,” She said, feeling her voice crack at the lie, at the words she’d been trying to believe were true. She sighed softly and smiled sadly at her daughter. “Just tired.”

Fayre was still looking at her with a furrow in her brows, still staring at her confused. “Don't sad Momma.”

Y/N laughed bitterly at the words, committing them to memory for later.

“Alright, Fay. I won't. Be back tomorrow?” she asked once again.

Fayre wrapped her little arms around Y/N’s neck, squeezing tight like she was trying to make everything better. “Be back tomorrow Momma.” She said as Y/N put her down and pushed her gently towards Spencer.

Spencer, who'd she’d almost forgotten, was there. She gave herself one opportunity, one look, one look to just see him. And she looked in his eyes, she looked at his face that looked so sad, his eyes that were staring right at hers concerned. She looked at his face that looked almost regretful.

She looked away.

She felt her heart beat faster, reminding her of the love she was trying to keep away from him.

She waved at Fayre one more time, blew her a kiss.

This time she walked away first.

She couldn't bear to see them leave again.

***

She was up late at night when there was a knock.

Quiet, quick, almost as if whoever was there knew she would still be up.

She hadn't been sleeping well. She felt words swirling around her head, memories of the things she didn't want to think about popping up at random points.

She couldn't stop her brain.

She couldn't get numb again.

But there was a knock.

She looked at the safe in her closet, wondering if she should grab her gun, just in case.

In the end, she’d decided against it. If it was someone bad would they have broken in?

She walked towards the door, turning on the lights, and unlocking it.

She hadn't expected to see her husband standing on the other side.

She hadn't expected to see Spencer looking at her.

She hadn't expected to see relief in his eyes.

She hadn't expected him to talk to her.

“You’re awake,” he said, almost in awe, almost like he wasn't sure, quiet.

Y/N just stared at him.

It was the first time she had looked him in the eyes without any hesitation for weeks. It was the first time she had looked into his eyes without nerves running up and down her spine, without feeling like she had to be ashamed for looking at him.

She felt her heart beat faster.

“Spence.” she breathed out.

He gently grabbed her hand, gently moved her out of the way so he could get through the door, he gently let her hand go and moved to take off his shoes.

He was taking off his shoes.

Y/N just watched him, wondering if she was dreaming, if she was dreaming about him coming back home, wondering if this was all fake.

She hoped she wouldn't wake up for a little bit longer.

“Y/N.” Spencer said, turning back to her, “Can we talk?”

It was the first time she had heard him speak to her in days, the first time she had heard her name slip from his lips.

She left like she was floating.

She wondered why she couldn't feel anything but bliss.

She wondered when the nerves would catch up.

She only nodded at him, only gestured to the couch. There was too much going on for her brain to comprehend, she was surviving on only coffee and a couple of caffeine pills, she was up far too late and she didn't know what was going on.

They both sat down on the couch, and Y/N’s heart got faster at the close proximity of the two. What was going on?

“We have to talk about everything.”

And then the nerves caught up.

And then the nerves invaded her body, filling her to the core with irrational thoughts, with messages from her brain that only made her heart beat faster.

Divorce.

Custody.

Leaving.

The nerves were too much too much, and her eyes were wide and all she could do was nod, just nod at him. Unconsciously she moved farther away from him, preparing herself for the distance he was going to ask for.

He was leaving he was leaving he was going to leave he was-

“I think that we should’ve talked a long time ago.” He said quietly looking down at the floor, staring intensely at something Y/N couldn't see.

“Yeah.” Y/N said, her voice breaking from the pressure, her body ready to collapse.

“I’m sorry I left,” Spencer said.

And it stopped.

Everything stopped.

He was sorry. He was sorry he left, he was sorry for doing the thing that Y/N had told him to do, doing the thing that she had asked of him, he was sorry he was sorry.

“Why,” she asked.

“Because I never should have left. And I never should have left for so long. It was childish and only 58% of long-distance relationships work, and I didn't even leave the city I was just gone and I- I’m not sure what I was thinking-”

“I told you to go.”

“What?” Y/N was staring at him, staring intently. She missed the sound of his voice but she hated the words coming out of his mouth. This was all of her fault, she had told him to leave, she hadn't done anything about it. This was her fault and he shouldn't have been saying any of this.

“I told you to leave. I said, “Go ahead and leave Spencer.” She paused and looked down at his feet. “You were only doing what I asked.”

Silence consumed the room. Y/N still didn't know what else Spencer wanted to talk about, she still didn't know if this meant he wanted to try if he wanted to try and be with her, she didn't know if this meant they were going to get better.

She couldn't help but think of the empty space that filled her body, she couldn't help but think about the hole in her body that was scarring, that was stuck there, almost numb, unbelievably painful. She couldn't help but think about the words she’d endured to get that hole.

“I shouldn't have listened to you. You were right.” Spencer said, pulling out of her thoughts, pulling her out of the pain that threatened to take over her body once again. “You didn't deserve me leaving, and neither did Fayre. I should’ve stayed.”

“Spencer you don't-”

“And then today. Today I was looking at you, I was watching you. And you just-” he paused and shook his hands in front of his face as if he was trying to reach for the words “you looked so empty. You just- you weren't looking at anything and you were just staring- and I don't think I’ve ever seen you look like that and I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what was going on but you looked so empty-”

Y/N paused. Derek had said Spencer was looking at her, he had told her that right to her face, but there was a block keeping her from thinking about it. She was trying not to think about it. But Derek had been right, and Spencer had noticed he had noticed.

He’d noticed her.

“Y/N.,” he said, grabbing her face as he pulled her closer to him. “I’ve never seen you look so emotionless. You looked at me after Fayre said goodbye, and it was like there was nothing. There was nothing- and- It scared me. I had no idea what to do, but I could feel that I started it, I could tell it had something to do with us and-”

“Fayre caused it.” Y/N blurted out.

“What?” Spencer looked at her shocked, his face unmoving.

“She,” Y/N took a deep breath, not wanting to relive the memory, but wanting to keep the closeness of Spencer so bad she wouldn't stop. “She was having trouble with her shoes, and she was asking for you, and I got mad- god.” Y/N shook her head angrily, mad at her past self for getting mad at Fayre. “I never should’ve gotten mad. I was mad and she was upset and she said-”

Something was choking her from the inside. Maybe it was the anxiety holding her throat down, maybe it was the nerves that seemed to be everywhere, maybe it was the desperation to forget everything, to pretend to be okay, maybe it was the exhaustion that rested on her eyes weighing them down, maybe it was the buzzing in her heart.

It didn't matter what it was, it was choking her, stopping the words from escaping her mouth, stopping the words from reaching the air, stopping her from telling Spencer.

But she fought, she fought against her instinct, fought against all her self defense mechanisms, and something finally let go.

“She said, I was mean, and that she wanted JJ.” and she gasped.

The words were out, out into the world, out where her husband- who she hadn't been speaking to, who she hadn't gotten any affection from in months -could finally hear them.

It felt like a shock to say them.

It felt like a shock to have to say them again, this time to the man she loved most.

She felt ashamed in herself, for the decisions she had made earlier, for the disappointment she was to her family, for the void that lived in her body.

“Y/N,” Spencer said, wiping away tears she hadn't noticed escaped her eyes. “She didn't mean that.”

And the words might have been reassuring, they might have been helpful, might have rested her self hatred, if she wasn't familiar with the person Spencer was.

He would like just to make her happy.

‘I think she did,” she said more tears crawling up her throat. “I think she did. Because I understand, because I’m not an amazing mother, and I’m definitely not an amazing wife, and I’ve been unfair to her, and I wish she didn't have to deal with me all the time, I think she meant it-”

Spencer put a hand over her mouth stopping her words. He was looking at her angry, his brows furrowed in something that looked like disgust, his mouth turned down.

“Don't ever say that.” He said harshly.

“What?” Y/N said as she moved back, her words muffled by his hand, surprised at his sudden change in mood.

“I don't want to ever hear, I don't want you to ever think that you aren't a perfect Mother.” He said, looking her directly in her eyes, his voice wasn't wavering and neither was his mind. “You are an amazing Mother to Fayre. She loves you.”

When Y/N tried to interrupt Spencer just spoke over her.

“And you are an amazing wife. You are more than I could’ve ever asked for. So, I do not want to hear another word about you not being enough. It's a lie, and I hate it.”

He stopped and Y/N was still looking at him shocked at the sudden outburst. She had thought that was why she left. She wasn't enough, because Spencer was disappointed in her. After all, she just wasn't good enough. She thought that's why he left.

That was why he left.

Wasn't it?

Tears ran down her face as she stared at him frustrated.

“Oh, Y/N.,” he said, moving his hand from her mouth and gently wiping another tear away. “I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to believe me, baby.”

He was so gentle, so caring, so everything she had been missing for the months they had been constantly fighting with each other.

She sobbed against his hand.

“Baby,” he said desperately, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her closer to him. She breathed him in, shocked by the smell she loved so much, shocked that he was so close to her, shocked at how cold she had been without him.

She had been so cold for so long.

She sobbed even more, shaking against his chest, gasping for breath.

She had no idea she could miss a person that was so close to her.

“I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry any of this happened,” he said, rubbing her hair and pulling her close to him. Spencer felt close to tears himself, watching his wife shake in his arms, he knew that she had been deteriorating for months, for months he knew and he hadn't done a thing. He knew that she was barely there, that another week would have burned her away, he felt ashamed that he hadn't been there sooner.

“Spence.” she cried, tugging on his shirt and nudging her head into his chest.

He just sat there, helping her get him closer, helping her remove the last couple of centimeters between them.

She sobbed and she sobbed into his chest, relieved that he was here, still hoping that this wasn't a dream, that this wasn't some cruel joke the world was playing on her.

She couldn't just let this go again.

“Y/N,” Spencer said when she had finally caught her breath when she had stopped shaking.

She looked up at him, her eyes puffy, and pleading, at that moment she looked so vulnerable it made Spencer want to protect her from everything. He didn't want to lose the only thing holding him together. “I love you. I’m so sorry that we’ve been so far apart.”

She moved her hands from his chest, moving them to his neck and jumping into his lap, straddling him on the couch as he hugged her back just as tight. It was a breath of fresh air to be so close together, they were each other's light in a dark room.

They had been so far apart.

“I’m sorry too Spencer. I’m sorry.”

Spencer just ‘shh’’d her, just held her close to him. They were both exhausted, and it was so late, it was too late.

It was almost too much to be close to him again.

They stayed like that, silent and together, silent and right next to each other for a while. They let each other's body heat warm them up, let their hearts get used to the close proximity again, let everything that had happened fade between them.

It was a while later, a while later when Y/N had felt almost repaired when she could no longer feel the burning of the hole in her body, the hole that had so desperately needed to be filled, the hole that was now barely there. It was then that she finally spoke.

“Where's Fayre?” she asked quietly against his ear, running her hands through the hair on his neck, enjoying the grip he had on her waist, and the kisses he was leaving on her neck.

“She’s still at JJ’s. I didn't want to wake her up, but I had to see you.”

There was a pause and then,

“Spencer,” she whispered softly, in awe that he was there, that they were together again.

He just kissed her some more.

They stayed like that, connected, for just a moment longer, just another moment together, before Spencer spoke up again.

“Y/N?” he asked, moving back only a little bit so he could look into her eyes.

“Yes?” she asked, staring at the brown eyes she had fallen in love with, the brown eyes that always seemed to fill her with a feeling she would never know how to describe.

“I love you,” he said softly, pecking her lips.

When he pulled back she smiled with her eyes closed, smiled at him, smiled at the feeling in her chest, smiled at the happiness she hadn't felt in so long, she smiled and she opened her eyes just so she could look at him because he was right there, he was right in front of her.

“I haven't seen you smile in so long,” Spencer whispered in awe, running his hand over her cheek as he stared at her.

She only smiled wider.

“Spencer?” she said softly, the smile stuck to her face.

“Yes?” he asked, moving to look back up to her eyes instead of her mouth, her eyes which were shining just for him.

“I love you,” she said. Quietly. Gently. For what felt like another first time.

He kissed her. Harder this time.

my masterlist here

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #emily prentiss x reader #derek morgan #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg blurb

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ethanesimp · 3 years

Text

AMAMI PER SEMPRE // E.T.

Pairing: Ethan Torchio x Fem! Reader

Summary: Ethan isn’t the brightest—or the best—when it comes to surprises, so his attempt at proposing to you causes a few misunderstandings...

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Swearing, a tiny tiny mention of death, some angst, other than that it’s pure fluff and me projecting my obsession with old books onto the reader.

Request: Ethan planning to propose and acting super nervous and strange (a bit angsty bc the reader doesn’t know what’s happening) and ending in pure fluff.

Masterlist // Taglist link in bio

A/N: After more than a year of stepping foot into a bookstore for *cough* obvious reasons, I got to go to one yesterday. While looking at some second-hand books I had an idea that I decided to combine with @kawaiiwxnnabe’s lovely request to bring you this. I hope you enjoy! <3

Ethan had been mindlessly listening to Damiano sing Amandoti when the thought of marrying you first seriously crossed his mind. It had been a thing he’d thought of countless times ever since he started dating you, but it had never remained with as much intensity as it had that time.

Damiano, who had noticed his friend’s face illuminate all of a sudden, had a talk with him that once and for all convinced Ethan that it was the right time and you were the right person. He didn’t sleep at all that night because he couldn’t stop thinking about what would be the perfect way to propose to you. It was no secret to him—or anyone who knew you—that you were a hopeless romantic.

There was nothing that made you happier than simple and small details that came from the heart. That was the reason why you had developed an affinity towards old books. Not only did they have a particular and special scent that reminded you of vanilla and chocolate, but some had the luck—as you liked to call it—of being embellished by notes on margins or dedications on covers. Whether they were about love, sorrow, or maybe even hate, they still showed a small glimpse into the life of the person who had once owned it. Those notes told a story that would prevail even long after they were gone from the earth.

Ever since he had noticed that small obsession of yours, Ethan had tried to help you expand your treasured collection by bringing you back books he found at antique stores from every country the band played in.

During a visit to Spain after he initially had his stirring thought, Ethan took the chance to visit one of the second-hand shops he’d found during a night stroll with Victoria, who had disappeared into a bakery. His main goal was to find something different from the usual books he brought back for you.

After he walked into the store and vaguely told the old lady at the counter about his idea in the best Spanish he could muster, she smiled warmly at him and guided him to the very back of the tiny shop where a beautiful and worn out bookshelf sat in all its glory, filled with as many books as it could hold.

He immediately started searching around for the perfect book, but it proved to be harder than he initially thought it’d be. After searching around for more than an hour, all he had found was a collection of Edgar Allan Poe’s tales and poems with a heartbreaking note to someone’s dead lover. While it had almost brought him to tears and was a special thing he’d buy to give to you later, it wasn’t exactly the best thing to help him carry out his plan.

Victoria walked into the shop when he was about to give up and, fully aware of his plan, started looking around without saying a word to him. They both searched around the messy piles of books for something. It didn’t take long for her to stumble across three books held together by a lilac satin ribbon.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. All three contained a note on the very first page right under the title, but the last one stood out above the other two because, according to his basic knowledge of Spanish, it ended with the very question he wanted to ask ¿Quieres casarte conmigo? Or ‘Will you marry me?’. He bought all three of them after a huge smile and a thumbs up from Victoria.

What he hadn’t expected was for them to remain hidden in a drawer he knew you never opened underneath piles of clothes. Ever since he came back from their small trip to Spain, Ethan had tried to ask the question about six times, but always ended up choking on his words and saying something else. In fact, the first time he ever tried, Ethan chickened out at the last second and ended up giving you the Edgar Allan Poe anthology instead.

You were still none the wiser to his plan even after he’d asked about your opinion on marriage a few times. Anyone would’ve probably caught up with what was going on already, but you were always so busy with things happening around you that you didn’t connect his awkward and nervous attitude with his questions.

You didn’t start giving his actions a second thought until one night… You had been cooped up in your office all day working on a new project you were supposed to present to your boss by the end of the week when you suddenly felt the urge to get up and walk around the house.

Ethan was casually sitting on the couch as he whispered unintelligible words into his phone. You supposed he was on a call with a friend or maybe his manager and was trying to be quiet to avoid disturbing you, but then he hung up the call with a panicked expression the moment he noticed you. After that, you started thinking back on the way he had been behaving ever since he returned and it all raised the suspicion that there was something strange going on.

It didn’t get any better when he kept on acting weird. Simple things that he had allowed you to do, like using his phone to take pictures because it had a better camera than yours, now seemed to make him almost mad. He’d even snapped at you once when you tried to grab it to take a picture with him. Even if Ethan had apologized right away, it still didn’t calm you down, especially because he had gone as far as to change the password on it.

It almost felt like he was walking on eggshells around you and you didn’t like it one bit. Your relationship had always been about honesty and worked because of constant communication. Everything was just so strange that your mind couldn’t help but think of the worst.

You were an imaginative person who never had any difficulties when it came to envisioning things clearly. Unfortunately, that also applied to every negative thought that crossed your mind, so it wasn’t hard for you to start coming up with the worst explanations as to why he was acting so suspicious. It didn’t help much that he had been busier than normal because the band was wrapping up on their latest album, so you hadn’t had the opportunity to sit down and voice all your concerns, to ask if something was going on and if there was a way to fix it.

The morning of your anniversary, you’d finally had enough. You had woken up, expecting to feel Ethan’s arm tightly wrapped around your waist and to receive a shower of kisses the moment he noticed you were awake, but no. There was no Ethan and the side of his bed was already neatly made.

Your disappointment only grew when he wasn’t in the kitchen or his small studio where he had his drums. You doubted he was in the house at all.

It was a thing that wouldn’t have affected you much had he done it any other time, but with everything that had been going on as of late, you could only fear the worst. So, without being able to control yourself, you started making the worst conclusions. You’d always been fully aware that he loved you, but all the signs undoubtedly pointed at him meeting someone new… And maybe he was going to leave you for them as well… during your anniversary.

That was all you needed to break into tears. You climbed back into bed and cried for what seemed to be hours. Even since you got together, you had thought of him as your person, your forever. The thought of him leaving you broke your heart into tiny pieces.

Ethan arrived home only a few minutes after you’d buried yourself underneath all the blankets and cried out all your worries. When he was about to open the door to your bedroom, he stopped. Were you crying?

He stood there in complete silence for a few seconds until he was more than sure that you were, in fact, crying. Ethan rushed inside and he felt his heart break at the sight of you looking so heartbroken, and it didn’t get any better when he heard a whimper come out of your mouth at the sight of him. You cuddled deeper into the bedsheets and turned away from him.

Ethan sat on your side of the bed and, as delicately as possible, he cupped your face into his warm hands and wiped your tears with his thumbs, “Amore,” He said in a quiet voice, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You tried to turn away from him, but his grip on your face stopped you from doing so. You placed one of your hands on top of his and gave it a firm squeeze. No part of you was ready to have that conversation with him because that was going to be it and you were going to have to watch him leave…

So, with a lot of courage, you spoke the first words that came to mind, “You know, i-it’s okay if you’ve found someone else,” You caressed his cheek softly as more tears started spilling down your face, “You can tell me if you have.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your words and the only thing he could do was shake his head no, “What? Found someone else? What would make you say such a thing dolcezza?”

Then, before you could even answer, realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he felt like the stupidest living being on the face of the Earth. He pinched his nose and sighed, annoyed at himself.

“Fuck… I’m so fucking stupid. Please don’t ever think of something like that. I was just… I-I,” Clueless as to what to say, Ethan pressed his lips against yours to kiss you slowly, hoping it spoke more than his words ever could. He could still taste a trace of the salty tears that had fallen on your lips and he couldn’t help but shed a few of his own at the thought that he’d been the one to make you cry.

After pulling away, Ethan pressed his forehead to yours and brushed his nose against yours while his arms held you as close as possible, “Will you close your eyes for just a second, amore mio? I promise everything will make so much sense soon.”

You nodded and kept your eyes closed as you felt him get up from the bed. You heard him open and close a few drawers, and look around for something for a while before he sat back on the bed. Ethan grabbed your hands in his and slowly slipped the three small books into your grasp.

You opened his eyes after a small sound of approval from him and smiled when you saw the three old books held together by a ribbon and the pretty pink rose that had been carefully been slipped into the first book and the ribbon.

You gently removed the flower and placed it on your side. Then you undid the simple knot and picked up the first book, “Wuthering Heights?” You questioned.

He nodded, “Yeah… At least I think that’s it. I hope I didn’t bring back some sketchy book or some shit,” Ethan scratched his neck and you giggled as you opened it on the first page. Your fingers brushed over the letters neatly written down in fountain pen.

After clearing your throat, you started reading the first dedication out loud. Since your Spanish wasn’t exactly the best either, you had to pause every once in a while to translate all the words, “May 17, 1850… My dearest Helena, I hope this book reaches you in great condition, being apart from you is one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to face, one of the most painful as well. I hope you can find me in between these pages as you read and remember how much I love you, remember how much I long to be back in your arms and kiss your lips. Sincerely, Alejandro.”

You closed it and placed it back on the bed before opening the second book and doing the same thing with the third, “January 24, 1855. Carolina, nothing I’ve ever experienced has gotten close to being as terrible as not having you in my arms. Apologies are overdue… long overdue. Words have never been my strongest suit, yet I still hope I can coherently express just how much I love you, all of you. I’m afraid I’m already too late since you will soon be betrothed to someone else and there will be nothing I can do by then.

“Still, I hope with everything in my being that this arrives sooner so you’re aware of how sorry I am. I hope you remember that I would do anything you asked without a single complaint just to watch that lovely smile I adore so much appear on your face. If you ever come back to me, I promise with every fiber of my being, and I’ll be dammed if I don’t keep my promise, that I will leave everything behind and escape with you. Anywhere, any time. So with that, I ask a question that will hopefully have a yes as an answer. Will you marry me? With love, Javier.”

Before you could close it, Ethan stopped you and timidly asked for you to open the book on the very last page. You did it and looked back at him with confusion at the sight of his writing on the page, “Read this one out loud for me. Will you Y/N?” You nodded and mumbled a small ‘of course’ before clearing your throat to get rid of the knot that had formed.

“October 21, 2025… Y/N, my one true love, I’ve always hoped to make a gesture that will remind you of your treasured books. I’ve never been one great with words spoken out loud, so I sought inspiration from those before me who were just as in love with someone as I am with you. Ever since I met you I dreamt of one day settling down with you, of having our small home in the countryside as you’ve always dreamed of. Maybe even doing some of those cloying gestures people seem to do in fiction and dedicate to you the most beautiful love poems I lay eyes on.

“I’ve wondered for a while how I could ever take the step that would bring me closer to that goal, yet every time I try, words seem to get stuck in my throat with no way out and I end up in square one all over again. It is with this note that I hope to finally take a step in the right direction because I know you’re it for me. You’re my person, my forever, and there’s nothing I would love more than to share my life with you. Sei la mia migliore amica e il mio unico vero amore. Ti chiedo di accettare il mio amore, il mio nome e tutto quello che sono.” (You are my best friend and my one true love. I ask you to accept my love, my name, and everything I am.)

When your eyes spotted the four words that followed, you slowly lowered the book, “Will you marry me?” You both said at the same time, although yours sounded more like an unintelligible mumble. Only then did you notice him down on one knee right in front of you. He held a velvet box with one of the most beautiful rings sitting inside of it

A hand went to cover your mouth as tears started falling down your face. This time, happy and free of worry. You could only nod repeatedly, overcome with pure joy as your heart swelled with love.

He slowly slid the ring into your finger and grabbed your face to kiss you once again, “I’m so sorry I made you think something else was going on. I just kept backtracking every time I tried to tell you. Not because I was regretting the decision but because I didn’t want to lose you.”

You shook your head as a silent way of saying it was alright and brushed his hair back with your fingers, “The important thing is that you’ve done it and you’re not going to lose me, no matter how hard you try. I’ll always be right here because I love you and I’ll always be yours.”

#ethan torchio x reader #ethan torchio x you #ethan torchio x y/n #ethan torchio fanfiction #maneskin x reader #maneskin fanfiction

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savorysatori · 4 years

Text

— 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍. ✗

paring : ushijima x f!reader x tendou.

usage of ‘she/her’ pronouns.

— synopsis : sex with your boyfriend, ushi, was always the same- sometimes even including kinks that you both were fond of, just the usual. yet, what happens when he develops a certain kink to watch his dearest friend fuck you?

content warning: dumbification, non-con, choking, filming, degradation/praise, mentions of anal, blindfolded, oral, use of pet names, sir kink, breast play, biting, dark content.

“Sluts always fall to their knees at the sight of my fingers, dear, what’s so special about you?”

It was a fantasy. That’s all, nothing else. All he did was imagine you withering underneath the touch of his friend’s grasp. It was nothing more, yet, why did he want to make it a reality?

Every glance and stare you gave him, your eyes lingering over the soiled up band-aid’s around his fingers, your thighs clenching together. Ushijima didn't understand. He only observed, watching you closely and the way you interacted with his dear friend. Watching when you purposely slid closer to him during a conversation, all in front of ushi’s eyes. Almost like you didn’t care if he was there.

Yet, here you were laying on his comforter with thin lace draped over the dewy skin of your thighs; nail marks from his rough hands. Giggles leaving your throat like you weren't just eyeing Tendou from his previous practice. It made him mad. Did you completely forget about your seductive gazes going towards Tendou with no shame?

Or were you playing dumb?

“Toshi! Toshi! That t-tickles, ah!”

His calloused palms stopped from running along the curve of your hip, coming to a pause to stare at you, uneasiness settling inside your stomach.

“Babe?-”

“Let’s play a game.” His tone was short & sharp, leaving you no room to question his sudden change of demeanor. You were used to his mood swings but, something like this didn't make you feel good. “I want to try something new, you don't mind, right?”

You shook your head no, of course, you always let your boyfriend explore new kinks because you knew he was curious. Yet, you wish you could go back and change your mind.

The tightness of the material from the ragged towel dug into the side of your cheek, easing a hiss from you. The way the rigid binds locked your arms tightly together - made a new form of excitement fill you up.

Ushijima’s palm was placed on your cheek, running the pads of his thumb against your cheek. You instantly nuzzled against it, sighing in contentment at his soft touch.

“You’ll be a good girl for me right?”

“Yes, of course.” Disobeying him wasn’t a option, you learned to always be careful what you say, especially around Ushijima.

Your shirt was long forgotten. Discarded on the tile floor, along with your bra. Harsh lips were encircled around your nipple, suckling the sensitive flesh. Grazing his teeth against your erect bud, a small hiss left your lips. He’d pull off of it, glistening salvia dripping from both swollen nipples. You’d squirm as he kneaded your soft breast; squeezing it gently and flicking your nipple occasionally to get a rile out of you.

“Ah, u-ushi..!” your nerves were going haywire, brain fuzzy and hard to understand. He’d plop a sweet kiss on your lips, savoring the taste of your chapstick. As he places both of his hands on your thighs, each finger gripping the supple flesh and spreading your legs apart; gawking in awe at your sweet cunt already drooling onto the satin sheets. Before he could finally soothe away the ache between your thighs, a voice speaks up.

“My Turn.”

The voice was low and breathy, if you leaned closer it would also sound child-like. It didn't take long for you to recognize the voice. You twisted around in the binds, squirming to try and get them off of you.

“At least let me prep her first.” nothing was coming to you, you couldn't decipher what was happening. Nothing was clicking in your brain, ‘what was happening right now?’

“Prep? You've had her for so long, I’m sure she's used to your cock now, if so - she’ll be used to mine as well.”

Tendou.

Ushijima’s hands were dusted off your thighs as he sat back, watching everything unfold.

Tendou inched closer to you, peering down at your obvious confused state, eyes creased together with a frown stretched onto your lips, how cute. He’d squeeze both your cheeks together, leaning down to whisper in a honey-like voice,

“I don’t tolerate bad girls kitten, don’t mess this up for yourself, yeah?” His words were sharp, nothing like you’ve heard before. He papped your left cheek and stood up, pleased to see you nod obediently, becoming completely powerless to him with just setting authority. “She’s a good one Toshi, make sure to keep her because if you don't, I'll just snatch her up!”

Ushi grunted as Tendou smirked, even more, turning his attention back to you and swiping a finger over your lips. “Let’s get started, yeah?”

Whatever clothes were on him were long gone, tossed onto the floor. His fingers digging into your scalp, gripping it tightly as you warm throat hugged his cock. Balls slapping against the under of your chin, spit spluttering everywhere. It was a lewd sight.

“Hey, ushi, you don’t mind if I video her do you?” He’d ask, already pulling out his phone. “Just a lil’ something for later alright sweetheart, hm.”

The way that nickname rolled of his tongue only made you want to please him more, show him how could ease all his problems away with just some oral. Your head moved on its own, your tongue rolling over the thick width of his cock head. His gaze lust-lidded, glossed over with bliss. Gathering all of your loose strands of hair in a ponytail, he’d buck his hips forward and keep the camera trained on your messy face coated in pre-cum.

“F-Fuck- keep going sweetheart, you’re doing so good for a well-trained slut.”

Tendou kept your head in place, catching everything on film as he dumps his thick cum in your mouth, covering your mouth in his semen.

“God damn— little slut knows how to swallow like a pro, aye?”

He pulled out of your mouth, his once hard cock softening to its normal state. Droplets of cum dripped from your mouth as you eagerly swallowed it up, your mouth only watering for more of his cum, for more of his cock. A whine rippled from your lips. You were so hopeless, so desperate, you needed him. Badly.

“Oh? Are ya’ horny for me? Yer’ getting off on your boyfriend’s best friend cock? You’re adorable, baby.” He held the back of your head tight, smearing the rest of his dripping cum onto your swollen lips. “Such a good girl.”

“hngh- Tendou..” your scraped knees dug into the mattress, face pushed against the sheets. You were so pretty, cunt already glistening with shiny arousal and Tendou didn't have to lift one finger, he thought you were so cute.

Ushijima would admit, and he would tell you later — you looked adorable, defenseless under Tendou. Hands restrained with eyes covered, you were weak to his gaze and his hands. Nothing could stop him from doing anything to you, nobody could step in. Not even ushi.

His red hair prickled against your cheek, his hands circling your throat and applying pressure to it slightly. “Yer’ so pretty, sweetheart, all nice and warm f’me back here.” He’d angle your head up to face the camera, the flash of light shining on your messy face. The blindfold came undone around your face and slipped off your eyes, revealing the sparkle of lust gleaming in them.

“T-Tendou, hngh.. please- I want it, so badly.” you were in need for the feeling of his cock inside you, dragging along your silky walls, easing his cock head in and out of you. You wanted it all.

“Sorry sweetheart, I only give cock to good sluts who address me as ‘sir’ anything else, and I see you as nothing but filthy.”

Sir?

The moment you parted your lips, you blurted out the word immediately.

“S-Sir! please, f-fuck—“

A cruel smile sprawled onto Tendou’s face, papping your cheek- he'd push away your thighs to lean closer, pressing asweet kiss to your cunt. His eyes holding a sadistic glint. “Maybe I should fuck this cute hole right here, just to tease ya’ and make you completely melt under me.” He’d coo, his finger pressing against your asshole. You'd twitch and nod your head. You would accept anything from him at this moment, anything to feel the veins of his cock.

You were already wet, nice, and dripping to which he didn't have to prep you. He’d switch you to where you were in a mating position, knees pressed to your chest and face peering up at him, ready to take anything he was going to give. When he sat up, your eyes traveled down to his semi-hard cock, staring in astonishment. The tip is red and bulging, veins pumping through the base — tiny drops of pre-cum leaking from the front.

“Ah, I already know you’ll welcome my cock well, pretty baby.”

Tendou leaned down eye-level, keeping contact with you as he pushed his cock into you, his eyebrows knitting together when your warmth sucked him in nice and tight. You bit your lip, eyes watering up at his size, you wondered how you even took him in.

“W-Wait- too fast.. gentle, please.” Your voice was croaky through whines, eyes twitching with tears when he sunk further into the depths of your cunt.

“Shh, you’ll like it. Just wait, baby.”

With that, he’d thrust into you, forcing his fat head past your tight ring of muscles. You’d yelp as he breached past the barrier, leaving you to babble and sob against the pillow like you did with Ushijima.

“Yer’ squeezing me so tightly, darling.” He leaned down to kiss you sloppily, saliva dripping from your chin the minute he pulled away. He’d runt his hips into you, massaging your thighs while he fucked you stupid, the noises leaving your lips filling him up with pride. “Pretty fuckin’ girl, hugging my cock so w-well, think I might cum right here.”

Shifting his hips, he held your legs up and hit your ‘sweet spot’, pounding into you quickly from then on.

“S-Sir!” Rolled off your tongue delicately, voice breaking down shortly from the immense moaning pouring from your mouth. Skin and skin smacking against each other, Tendou’s cock pulsing in your velvet walls.

“Gonna cum? Go ahead, cum for me pretty one. Show me how much you love my cock, c’mon baby - yer’ pussy is gushing all over me, might as well cum.”

His dirty words going in from one ear and going out the other, letters all jumbled up together leaving your mouth. Phrases and babbles for “Sir!” sputtering out. Your mind was in a frenzy, eyes glossed over in a dumb look. You could barely even see with your vision so blurry, everything like a bubbly blur.

Your walls tightened around him as he intensifies his pace, cock slipping in and out of you with a slum of pre-cum everywhere.

“S-Sir! ‘m gonna.. Ten-” anything coherent diminishing from your mind as soon as you came, your cum coating his cock head fully.

Beads of perception rolling down his face, Tendou slipped out from your pussy. Face all sweaty with eyes glazed over with bliss. He’d pump his cock in his hand, stroking the sensitive flesh — your pretty little pants were enough for him, his hand gripping his cock as he unleashed his cum onto your stomach.

“Pretty girl, you look so cute with my cum on your stomach.” He’d coo. Picking up his phone from behind, he snapped a picture of your body, making sure to save it for later.

“Thanks for letting me fuck your girlfriend, tosh, I'll repay the favor later.” Tendou pulled up his pants and papped your cheek like before, grinning down at you. “I’ll see you later sweet cheeks and your pretty pussy.”

Toshi’s eyes watched Tendou leave the room and your fucked out body on his bed, cum smeared on your stomach with fluids everywhere. He wouldn't lie, it was a pretty sight. At least he knew this wouldn't be the last time he fucked you, Toshi knew Tendou always wanted another turn, always wanted the cycle to continue.

#haikyuu smut #tendou x reader #tendou smut #ushijima x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu tendou #haikyuu ushijima #🤍.ushi!

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sickness-health-all-that-shit · 3 years

Text

Love Poem

(originally written as part of this prompt challenge)

Ian finds it one day while looking through some old stuff.

It’s one of the notebooks he used to write ideas in during his first manic phase, back when he went off to join the army under his brother’s name.

He had a lot of notebooks. Sometimes he would only write in a couple of pages, and then they’d get lost–left behind, dropped and forgotten–replaced by a new, empty one.

Most of them Ian will never see again. Those ideas scattered, lost to the world, much like he was back then.

But this one. This one notebook survived, somehow.

Ian flips the pages, goes through the ramblings, not knowing himself what he’s looking for. He knows he won’t be able to make sense of what he wrote then, but still, he’s curious.

It hurts a little, of course. It hurts to relive that past. There’s a reason he’s tried to bury it within himself for so long. He can’t even begin to process his feelings about it–the ever-present shame that always comes attached to that period of his life, screaming front and center.

Yet he looks, he reads, he remembers. Some of it, he remembers.

He finds scattered references to Mickey. Of course he does. He recalls trying so hard to forget him, to put him out of his mind, but inevitably Mickey would pop up anyway again and again through the turmoil of Ian’s brain.

A lot of it reads like resentment. Ian remembers that, too. He was angry at Mickey for a long time, while he was away. And he got all the more angry because he couldn’t stop thinking about him, much as he tried to. That made Ian mad at himself, on top of everything.

Mostly, Mickey’s name surfaces in the midst of ramblings about completely unrelated things. Some of it reads like a big fuck you to Mickey. A that’ll show him, a then he’ll see… he’ll see I don’t need him.

Ian knows now he was really just trying to convince himself he didn’t need Mickey. He didn’t want to need Mickey–not when Mickey couldn’t make him a priority.

On one page, though, there’s something else. Something different to the rants and the ramblings and the big ideas and bigger plans for the future.

It’s more like a poem.

Ian doesn’t doubt he fancied himself a poet too, among other things, in those days. He felt so powerful, so in touch with everything he was thinking and feeling, for the very first time in his life. Of course he thought he could be a poet–and one of the greats, too, no doubt.

The poem is about Mickey.

It’s a love poem, of sorts. There’s much more desperation to it than resentment in this, than in all the rest of Ian’s writings about Mickey in the notebook.

It’s raw. It’s pure hurt on the page. It’s addressed to Mickey.

It doesn’t recriminate, it only reminisces and regrets. It weeps over what could have been, what never was, what will never be again.

It’s sorrow, sadness, and grief.

Ian feels slow tears on his cheeks as he reads it. His breath catches in his throat as a small sob escapes his lips.

He’s glad things got better for him. He got Mickey back. He married him. They put back together the pieces of them that were damaged and are working on the ones that will always be a bit shapeless–fucked up. They do it every day, together.

But the Ian who wrote this poem didn’t know that was going to happen. He thought he was invincible and irreparably broken at the same time. He didn’t think he was ever going to see Mickey again. And even if he did, nothing could ever be the same between them.

Ian mourns for his past self. Remembers the pain, the devastation. The hopelessness.

He wishes he could tell himself then that it is going to get better. Tell himself not to lose hope. Tell him that, against all odds, love has won in this case. That all that pain wasn’t the end of their story.

For now, though, he just closes the notebook. He laughs a little through his tears, wipes them with the sleeve of his hoodie, and goes to find his husband in their kitchen.

---

thanks to @shameless-notashamed for reading this over!

#tumblr fic #ian x mickey #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless fanfiction #my fics #angst #past angst #tw bipolar mention #s4 ian #post s11 ian #happy ending

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sunookkii · 3 years

Note

hii can i get an E2L with jake please <3

YESSS!! Thank you so much for requesting,, I really hope you like it 😋

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Jake Sim x Reader

Genre : enemies to lovers

Warnings : some swear words here and there.. a little scene where main character almost gets assaulted at night

Word Count : 2.4K

Requested : yess <3

(Warning : It kind of sucks, I’m not really sure if this is e2l PLEASE I TRIED MY BEST ANYWAYS)

❀ You and Jake were enemies since birth, you two supposedly hated each other’s guts since diapers. It didn’t help that your parents were really good childhood friends and would always hang out together forcing you and Jake to try and get along. Though it didn’t work.. Jake would always picked on you, weather it was calling you stupid nicknames, tripping you making you fall and land on your face or bothering you every time he had a chance. You were always his main target. To him your reaction to his mean jokes were always so entertaining. You absolutely hated him, how cocky he was, how annoying he was, how handsome, charming he was, and how he was always better than you at everything. And the list goes on.

“I hate history why do we even need to learn it” you thought to yourself. Tapping your pencil back and forth not paying attention to the lesson that was taught on the board. Out of no where you feel pieces of paper being thrown at you from behind,,,, it was from Jake. You thought that he would stop throwing pieces of paper at you after awhile but oh you were wrong. Jake laughing silently to himself thought he was sooo funny. He kept throwing pieces of paper at you until you finally had enough, you turned your body facing him and started giving him a whole lecture forgetting that there was a lesson being taught right at this very moment.

“JAKE CAN YOU STOP, YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND IMMATURE!”

You yelled at him a bit too loud causing the teacher to hear,,”Ms. l/n and Mr. Sim OFFICE NOW!”

You groaned at your teachers words, this is all Jakes fault, if he hadn’t bothered you, you two wouldn’t have been in trouble. At this point all the teachers knew you weren’t really fond of Jake, because every week you two would always be in detention together after school.

J: “This is your fault” you turn around to look at Jake, furious, body filled with hatred and anger

Y/n: “ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU WERE THE ONE THROWING PAPER AT ME, (you breathe in and out trying to calm yourself down) if you hadn’t thrown those stupid pieces of paper i could’ve been at home right now.”

J: “woah woah calm down..” he said, that didn’t help one bit

You decided to ignore him this once because there really is no winning when arguing with him. You two finally arrive at the principals office waiting for yet again another detention slip.

P: “I heard that there was a bit of a ruckus, during history class? Care to explain why you used such vulgar language during school?”

Y/n: “it wasn’t my fault sir, Jake was bothering me and wouldn’t stop.”

P: “Mr. Sim is that true?”

J: “no sir I was simply minding my own business, until she started yelling at me for no reason.” He lied through his teeth,

Y/n: “SIR HE’S LYING” you pointed at the boy smirking at you knowing what he just did.

P: “well it seems to me that there’s a little bit of a problem and someone is lying. Whoever is telling the truth can be excused from detention”

J and y/n : “sir I’M telling the truth”

P: “Well since no one is stepping up I guess I’ll have to put both of you into detention, here is the detention slip for both of you. Remember after school until 5, if you miss it you’ll get detention for the whole week. Got it?!

Y/n: “*sigh, yes sir”

———

Y/n’s POV :

The bell rung indicating that school was over, well not for me at least. I still have to show up for detention since well you know... I arrived at the detention room that read room 206. Walking towards an empty desk, I sat on it and lied my head down.

J: “so how was your dayy :)” knowing that this was all his fault he had the audacity to ask me how my day was??

Y/n: “shut up.”

J: “ooh someone’s grumpy cuz they got detention” he laughs annoyingly at me.

Y/n: “you’re in detention too idiot.”

J: “at least I’m not alone stupid” he rolls his eyes moving away and pushing back his dark brown fluffy hair,,

Why was that kind of attractive? Wtf why am I thinking like that get out of my head!

———

❀ The bell finally rung and we were dismissed, it felt like ages~

Walking towards the the exit I see myself accidentally walking besides Jake. I quickly realized and distanced myself, the sky outside was pitch black. Forgetting that I’m terrified of the dark I quickly walk home by myself so I don’t have to be outside any longer. As I was walking towards the direction of my house I sense someone following me, my pace got faster as I was scared what could happen this late at night. I ran quicker and quicker then all of a sudden I feel someone grabbing my wrist hugging me pushing me towards the corner of a house. I try and let out a loud scream right before they cover my mouth with their hand. I open my eyes only to see Jake.

J: “boo!”

I push him off, why is he holding me in his arms like that?

Y/n: “wtf Jake! Why are you following me?” I said kind of mad that he scared me thinking I was being followed.

J: “some guy was following you when you left school and I didn’t want anything to happen to you so I kinda followed you home..”

Y/n: “oh well you can go now... I don’t need your help..” feeling a little bit awkward that he kind of cared..

J: “are you stupid or something?” He said angrily “you should take better care of yourself! The man could’ve done something to you if I hadn’t been there!”

I had no words to say, how could someone I hate so much care for me? I guess he isn’t bad after all.. but my stubborn self obviously had to snap back,

Y/n: “IDC I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOU TO FOLLOW ME, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IF I GET HURT OR NOT!”

J: “I DON’T, YOU KNOW WHAT! WALK HOME BY YOURSELF”

Y/n: “YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL!”

❀ ❀ ❀

I’m not gonna lie to you I kind of regret saying that to him, it’s not really fun walking home alone when it’s pitch black outside. It was all silent walking home untill I heard something walking towards me, I assumed it was Jake so I turned around getting ready to yell at him, but to my luck it was a random man who came walking up towards me, he came over touching my waist giving me a creepy look, making me feel uncomfortable.

Stranger: “hey baby girl you look beautiful tonight, you want to come over to my house? We can have lots of fun” He winks creepily at me. Does he not know I’m a minor?? Gross.

Y/n: “get away from me!” I tell him as I walk faster pushing him off of me, he quickly grabbed my wrist and started touching me “you’re not going anywhere!”

I start to panic, not knowing what to do, I wish Jake was here I thought to myself as I’m about to cry feeling hopeless not knowing what I could do. Suddenly I hear something running towards me, a tall figure with dark brown hair, is it Jake? The familiar figure punched the creepy man leading him to fall on the ground groaning. He grabed my wrist “lets run!” He held my hand tight as we were running, his hand was soft and fit perfectly in mine.

J: “are you okay” he looks at my scared face holding my cheeks in his palms. I nod feeling a hard lump in my throat as I soon burst out crying tears. “It’s okay, it’s okay I’m here you don’t have to be scared anymore” he held me tight in his arms. Embracing me, his arms and chest were so warm something I really needed. Never in a million years did I think I’d be hugging my enemy like this. I continue crying in his chest as he strokes my hair in reassurance that I’m safe. “Y/n you’re so stupid, you could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

y/n: “I’m sorry” I continue crying

———

He walked me home safely still holding my hand, I look at him weirdly looking at him then looking back at our intertwined hands.

J: “oh right.. sorry”

Y/n: “how did you know I was in danger?”

J: “oh well it’s kind of silly actually, I was mad at you so I decided to do a mean prank to get you scared, but then that’s when I heard you scream so I ran up to you”

Y/n: “oh, well thanks for helping me I guess...” I said looking down at my fingers feeling ashamed.

J: “uhm anyways I’m gonna go home now.. gn loser” he said before he ran off putting his hood back on.

“Goodnight” I whisper, thankful that jake was there with me that night.

———

❀ The next day of school I went to my assigned seat which was in front of Jake. Then suddenly a non familiar boy comes inside the class, was he new?

T: “Class! Listen up.. we have a new student attending our school, and I would like for you to pay attention as he’s about to introduce himself.”

S: “Hi! My name is Sunoo Kim! Please take good care of me :)”

Who’s this new guys Sunoo he’s kind of cute....

T: “Sunoo you can sit next to y/n over there, y/n please raise up your hand so he knows who you are!”

S: “Hi!”

Y/n: “Hi I’m y/n, and your Sunoo right?”

S: “yess.”

The cute boy gave me a cute cheeky smile, I could tell we’ll become good friends. Class was over and it was time for lunch, I could tell that Sunoo didn’t have much friends since he’s new, so I asked him to have lunch with me. Sunoo and I talked about everything! It felt like we knew each other for so long, as if we were best friends. Jake passed by us giving us a weird glare. That’s weird I thought, he never usually glared at me like that, well I mean we’re enemies but he usually gives me a stupid teasing smile,, hmm that’s odd maybe he’s just in a bad mood.

———

School was over and it was time to walk home,

S: “Y/n!! Let’s walk home together, where do you live?”

Y/n: “oh I live near this block,, what about you?”

S: “OH really??!! I live here too, we live close to each other, lets walk home together sometimes!”

He’s so cute, charming and extroverted, we just got to know each other but I feel like we’ve been friends forever, is that weird?

Y/n: ok!

———

❀ Many weeks have passed and me and Sunoo became really close friends! Though Jake has been acting strange lately..

School ended quickly today,, Sunoo suddenly called out my name

S: “lets wak home together today!”

Y/n: “alright su-“

As I was about to finish my sentance Jake came over and grabed my hand intertwining his into mine.

J: “ahh sorry Sunoo she can’t, y/n’s mom told me to walk her home today.”

R: “ahh ok.. bye y/n I’ll see you next week!”

Y/n: “wait but but!” I wasnt able to finish my sentance since Jake already pulled me to the opposite direction. His hands... were in mine? Why am I feeling all sorts of butterflies in my stomach.. this is new, I never felt this way towards Jake before. It was kind of quiet during the walk home until the tension was broken and Jake said something as he stopped walking.

J: “lets go to the ice cream shop, just you and me.”

Y/n: “dont we hate eachother?”

J: “just shut up and come with me.”

He grabbed my hand forcing me to follow,

Y/n: “okay but you’re paying”

We arrived at the pretty ice cream place which was bright and pretty chilly. Jake went to go order the Ice creams while I looked around since I never been here before.

J: “two chocolate ice creams please”

He’s always been so polite towards everyone but me, his fluffy dark brown hair right about his eyes. He’s so cute.. why am I feeling this way towards him? We’re supposed to hate each other but here I am falling head over heels for Jake? No it can’t be, do I have a crush on him? How did he know I liked chocolate ice cream?We sat down at the near table, the place was super cute, perfect for a date. WAIT IS THIS A DATE?

Y/n: “Jake why did you take me here?”

J: “I needed to tell you something but finish your ice cream first”

Y/n: “oh uhm ok-“

J: “AW FUCK IT I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER Y/NILIKEYOU!”

I stool there frozen like a popsicle, did my enemy Jake just confess to me, this seems crazy but I think I like him too.

Y/n: “Jake I like you too..”

J: “iknowyoumightnotlikemebecausethewayItreatedyouwhenwewerekidsbutpleasegivemeachanceisweari’ll-“

Y/n: “JAKE! I said I like you too”

J: “what- really you mean it? You like me back” it was cute seeing him nervous because of me.

Y/n: “yeah I guess you’re not so bad..” I said teasingly

His worried face quickly turned into a big smile, we quickly finished the ice cream and walked outside of the ice cream place side by side. He stoped walking and looked at me.

J: “you have something on your lips” he said pointing

Y/n: “what where” I rubbed my mouth looking for the leftover ice cream”

J: “here” he grabbed my face leaning in for a deep kiss. “There all gone!” he runs away laughing like a little kid.

Y/n: “JAKE SIM I DIDN’T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO STEAL A KISS FROM ME!” I said chasing him, I guess you could say our relationship turned into an enemies to lovers type of thing.

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