#don’t give me that oh but he had a awful childhood | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1d1195 · 9 months

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Hi, idk if you all know this about me, but I love tropes. ALL of them. All. of. them. So here they all are: one bed, nightmares, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, childhood "friendship," coworker Harry, grumpy/sunshine (I'll let you guess who's who), etc. etc. etc. (Don't look too close this is Zipper but reveresed)

Other warnings: angst

9.2k+ words

“Business or pleasure?” The driver asked.

She stated “business,” immediately. Whereas Harry said, “a bit of both,” with that devilish smirk of his and looked at her with delight in his eyes. He seemed to get more enjoyment out of his comment as she glared at him.

In Year 2, Harry was playing with a few of his friends by the slide. He wasn’t really aware of what was happening but there was a girl in his class playing with a couple of her friends when the screaming started. There was a huge to-do; parents were called, the principal was involved, and the girl that seemed to be at the center of all the drama would not stop glaring at Harry.

But Harry didn’t like girls. He was six. He wanted to hang out with his friends at recess and maybe learn about the shapes and the planets if he had time. So, he didn’t really care that she glared at him. Or that he had to write an apology letter (that his mum told him how to write in his six-year-old scrawl). It was just another day in the life of a Year 2 student. He didn’t even know why he was writing the little note to her. He didn’t know what happened or why he did something wrong.

Year 2 turned to Year 3 and soon Harry was kissing and hugging his mum and sister goodbye as he went off to university. He was studying English Literature and Communications. He wanted to be a book publisher—mainly because he wanted an excuse to read all kinds of books. Moreover, he could read really good books before everyone else did. Eventually, he hoped to open his own publishing company, but he would need a business partner for that.

That was still a long way down the road. For the time being, he would enjoy university: friends, girlfriends, classes, his part time job, and everything in between. His only downfall was listening to his professor who suggested he get a minor in business—especially if he planned on own his own company. Even if he didn’t fully run the business side of things, it was good to have a general idea. Some key words and concepts would be helpful. More so, if the business partner wasn’t someone he trusted.

But Harry was awful with his business classes. The very first one he took was the bane of his existence. He strongly considered never opening his own company, he would just get the other person to handle it. Needless to say, he was recommended for tutoring two weeks into the class.

That’s where he found the glaring girl. Obviously, no longer seven. She was twenty, like Harry. And she was lovely looking. Except for the scowl on her face directed at Harry. Surely, she hadn’t harbored a grudge toward Harry since she was seven?

Oh, but she was. She was curt while she tutored. Everything Harry did was wrong. She managed to correct his mistakes kindly, but he could tell it pained her. There was a lot of sighing and eye-rolling involved. But she was good, he’d give her that.

Harry tried to be friendly, but she clearly wanted no part of it. “I am not here for small talk with you, Harry,” her voice was flat. She didn’t want to talk about the weather, or parties, or anything that wasn’t part of Harry’s class. When she came to help him at the designated time in the library with tears in her eyes, she sat down, took a deep breath, sniffled, and started her help with his homework.

“Hey, we don’t have t’do this now, beautiful. You’re obviously upset—”

“What do you care?” She interrupted.

“Jesus,” Harry shook his head in disbelief. “What is your problem?” She rolled her eyes, tearfully. “Y’can’t seriously still be mad about Year 2.”

She shook her head. “Just...shut it,” she snapped and turned her attention to Harry’s assignment. He sighed, looking at her like she was on the verge of a breakdown but did as she wished. Listening intently to her lesson, Harry felt this pull of how sad he was by her anguish, and he didn’t even know what it was. He kept watching her expressions, judging her tone, in between her explanations. He was worried there was something seriously wrong.

Despite her anger towards him, he didn’t want her to be upset. He worried someone had hurt her or upset her in some way—in a way that he could fix. It didn’t occur to him why he wanted to help her until well after three other classes she tutored him in for his minor over the last two years of university.

He got very little information out of her about anything that didn’t pertain to his classes. He knew she was grumpy in the afternoon and much preferred to tutor in the morning when her mind was fresh. That was when he got a glimpse of her gentler side—for only a second. She liked coffee a lot, she smelled fresh of her shampoo, and her eyes were brighter. She would ask if he had a good weekend or if he had any fun plans. It was the only time she offered up anything to him.

If it was any time past two in the afternoon, she wanted nothing to do with pleasantries or Harry, it seemed. But she was paid to tutor him, and she did it well. Harry never would have made it through his business classes without her. He was forever thankful for her help, even if she didn’t want to be thanked.

“Harry, would you like to go to this conference?”

He looked up from his desk where he was reading a riveting historical fiction novel that was passed up the chain to him. Harry thought it would be a NYT bestseller for sure. “Me?” He asked, clearing his throat and putting his pencil down. One thing he hated was marking up people’s hard work in any color pen—but especially red. It felt very secondary school of his coworkers to do it that way. Someone pored over this writing and of course no one expected it to be perfect, not even the author. But there was something so ugly about red ink marking up something that your blood, sweat, and tears went into.

Harry would quit writing if he saw even one smidge of red ink on his work.

Which is why he edited and didn’t publish his own work.

Harry had been a senior editor for four years, now. He loved his job. It was everything he hoped for: he read so many good stories and felt he was still learning so much. He was promoted from junior editor to senior editor after two years. He still hoped to own his own company one day.

“Yeah,” his boss rolled his eyes. “Who else would I send? Someone from the business administration team will attend as well,” he explained.

Harry smiled; he knew the second the title left his mouth exactly who would be attending the conference with him. She was going to hate it. “I would love to go,” Harry nodded excitedly. “But between you and me, I don’t want anyone t’get jealous that m’going. D’you think y’can keep it a secret?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugged. Harry loved this office. It was so carefree. When he had his own company, he would want it to be exactly like this. If he could own this one, he would. He liked all of his coworkers and would want to keep them alongside him.

Including the girl from the admin team that constantly glared at him during work parties, meetings, and office breakroom run ins. If she wasn’t there, then it wouldn’t be worth it.

When Harry saw her interact with their coworkers, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with her. She was so utterly beautiful, funny, and of course, absolutely brilliant. There wasn’t a question she didn’t know how to answer. There wasn’t any advice she couldn’t give. She was never condescending and was extremely helpful. Even when Harry needed her help—which was so rare he only recalled it three times in the entire seven years they worked together. She didn’t sigh, didn’t roll her eyes although he was sure she wanted to.

So, nothing made him happier than annoying her to pieces.

He told everyone he had known her since Year 2. Left notes for her on her cute little lunch box in the fridge, would constantly send random items to her office (his favorite was the look on her face when he sent her a bouquet of balloons. It didn’t do anything, but people said Happy Birthday to her all day, and she had to say it wasn’t). He would tell people they were best friends and watch her blush bright red trying to get out of it. There were so many fake secrets he told the person he was near making direct eye contact with her, just to piss her off.

It worked every time.

He worshipped her, honestly. How could he not? She was brilliant and beautiful. The whole package. Even when she was a bit crabby, he thought she was simply the cutest and went on adoring her from afar.

Harry couldn’t imagine how fun a work trip would be with her.

She hated flying. It was necessary but she hated it. The space was almost too small. It was stuffy and gross in a lot of ways. The seats were cramped, and it was just awful. She had her headphones in place, a relaxing, quiet playlist, a good book, and her travel pillow around her neck. She was more than ready to begin the flight. The conference was a treat, it was shorter hours than her regular workday and then she could meander the town as much as she pleased. It was going to be a great trip and she had been looking forward to it for the last two weeks.

But then Harry sat right beside her. “Hey beautiful,” he smiled sweetly. She stared at him. This had to be a joke.

“You’re kidding?”

“What?” He smirked impishly stowing his bag beneath the seat in front of him. “Excited t’see me?” She flushed that beautiful shade of red that he loved so much on her cheeks. “Ready for our vacation?” He asked. “Bring a good book?”

The plane was suddenly even smaller. She thought she was going to be sick. A whole five days with Harry. Five. She was going to lose her mind. She closed her eyes as the plane jolted forward. Harry was doing all the things he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Fidgeting with the tray table and the like. She wanted to scream.

How could she possibly get stuck with him?

Harry didn’t say much to her throughout the flight. At least not after asking if she was comfortable, which was objectively nice if she couldn’t stand him so much. He grabbed her bag from the bin overhead, made sure she didn’t get lost on her way to baggage claim, and held the door open for her when they reached their Uber. “Business or pleasure?” The driver asked.

She really wished Harry wasn’t so goddamn hot. It should have been a sin to make someone so alarmingly attractive. Soft brown curls that looked like they were made to slip between her fingers. He had green eyes—how was that even fair? Those dimples made her stomach flip. He was incredibly tall and so fit; she thought about falling at his feet every day she saw him at work and just ending her silly grudge.

But she never forgave him for that day in Year 2. Call her stubborn, call her stupid. She didn’t care. It ruined a huge chunk of her young life and made her miserable.

Four days and twenty-two hours. She could survive.

“Me and the missus need a place t’eat, do y’have any suggestions?” he asked, reaching for her hand like they really were a couple. She yanked it out of his grip. She wanted to kill him. More so because she hated the way her heart took off when he touched her and the idea of being “the missus” was...ugh.

She was worried Harry wouldn’t survive the next four days, twenty-one hours, and fifty-eight minutes.

They arrived at the hotel and Harry was once more a gentleman, even though she didn’t want him to be. He grabbed her suitcase and sweetly pushed it through the lobby to the front desk. “Hi,” Harry said cheerfully. She wanted to shower, get out of her plane clothes, and get away from Harry. His chipper attitude was making her grumpier than normal. “I have a reservation under Styles,” he explained. “Here for the convention,” he added.

The man behind the desk nodded, smiling pleasantly as he tapped away on his computer. “It says two guests for your name,” he informed him. Her heart dropped to her feet.

“No, it doesn’t,” she murmured, but she knew it was right.

Harry was smiling like an idiot. This was too good to be true for him and his endless bouts of annoying her. “That’s correct,” Harry nodded.

“Are there any other rooms?” She asked. She already knew the answer, but she would kick herself if she didn’t at least check.

“No, I’m afraid we’re really booked with the convention.”

She didn’t dare ask if there were two beds because she already knew that answer too.

“It’ll be fine, lovie, don’t worry,” he promised. Part of her thought he really meant it too, sensing how upset she was. She was so overcome with frustration; she almost didn’t notice the new name he gave her. That it wouldn’t be torture for her to be in the same little space as Harry for the entire five days. Her heart started erratically beating at the thought. It felt like the sides of her brain were caving in like the walls surely would be when they got to the room.

She would lay ground rules. She would go buy a roll of tape and cut the room in half. Harry wasn’t going to ruin her little reprieve from work. He continued to be kind and pulled her bag to their room. “I would like to shower,” she told him as she eyed the single, king-sized bed in the middle of the room, mocking her. He settled the bags on opposite sides of the room. He chose the side closer to the window for her.

“I’ll be right in,” he winked at her.

She felt the heat rise to her cheeks, which she knew was exactly what he wanted. “What if I don’t want the window side?” She asked instead.

“Well, that I don’t really care, lovie. M’taking closer t’the door in case someone breaks in. Wouldn’t want you t’get hurt.”

She just wanted to annoy him the way he always annoyed her. Maybe make him move the bags around and then move them again which she informed him she did want the window side. But she didn’t expect him to be so nice. Didn’t think he would give a reason that was kind enough to care about her well-being. Even when she was grumpy toward him.

If her cheeks were going to be red the whole week, she was going to lose it. “Don’t come in the bathroom or I’ll murder you,” she rolled her eyes.

“I would never do that,” he rolled his eyes right back at her. “I was jus’ kidding.”

Unfortunately, she believed him. He seemed genuine, as much as she wanted to kill him.

The shower helped her relax marginally. At the very least she got the feeling of the plane off her. “I ordered some pizza. Y’like peppers and onions on yours, right?” Harry, knowing exactly what she liked, furthered her agitation.

“Yeah,” she mumbled.

“I’d like t’shower too. D’you think y’can get the pizza when it arrives and actually get mine too?” He smiled at her knowingly; like he thought she might not take his pizza from the delivery guy in protest of the whole situation.

She rolled her eyes but had to hand it to him because it did sound like her. “Yes, Harry.”

“Hey beautiful?” he said softly. She hated that she looked up, answering to his pretty pink lips calling her ‘beautiful.’ She shouldn’t have. First and foremost, she thought he was wrong. Maybe it was because of all the drama of Year 2 but she never had boys of any age fawning over her after the slide-incident. Not the way they ogled and adored her friends. It did a number on her self-esteem. While she tried to put up this front that she didn’t care about whether she was beautiful or not, it was hard to believe someone like Harry would recognize her as even pretty.

Secondly, it made her stomach flip when he said it and she hated that. It was unfair he was pretty and unfair he could make her crazy with just a word. “M’not so bad,” his face looked apologetic—like he felt bad for existing. “I promise, it won’t be that bad this week with me.” She nodded sullenly, ran her brush through her hair. “’Ve left some notes on the table there for the pizza,” he tilted his chin toward it.

“You don’t need to pay for me.”

He smiled. “Course I do, lovie. S’my treat.”

She hated the way she answered to ‘lovie’too.

She sat in comfortable silence while she ate her pizza. While eating, she looked at the itinerary on her phone. Made plans in her mind and thought about some of the things she wanted to do during her free time.

“Oh good, m’starving. Smelled it while I was showering.”

She did a double take, her jaw falling open instinctively. She nearly dropped her pizza on her lap and then her phone right after it. Harry was hurrying across the room to get to his pizza. A towel low on his hips showing off glistening, taut muscles. Her heart hammered against her chest. “Jesus,” she whispered to herself looking away.

“Did y’say something, beautiful?” He asked, taking a bite of his pizza. She shook her head. Once more, angry she answered with the word ‘beautiful’. His hair was dripping, and she followed the little droplets as they slid down his broad shoulders and across his defined pectorals. It wasn’t fair. She wanted to hate him easily. But his pretty tattoos and his gorgeous body were making it so difficult.

“I’m think I’m going to sleep on the floor,” she told him. He frowned around a bite of his pizza. When he finished chewing, he had a bit of grease on each corner of his mouth. She wanted to reach out with a napkin and wipe it away.

Or lick it away, along with the rest of his body.

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” he promised. “M’not gonna let y’sleep on the floor, lovie,” he rolled his eyes. “If you’re that uncomfortable, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

She couldn’t help but feel bad that her awkwardness, her annoyance for Harry, would have him sleep on the floor. He didn’t truly deserve that. This was a work trip for him as well, after all.

Maybe if he was fully clothed, she would have taken him up on his offer. Accepted him sleeping on the floor in her place. But her modern-woman, intelligent brain that she had spent years cultivating so she was independent, and worked so hard to make sure she didn’t go ga-ga over a man was malfunctioning from travel...and knowing she was stuck with Harry in such close quarters for almost a week.

Plus, Harry had the prettiest stomach she had ever seen on a man.

Her primal brain, the one that seemed to be screaming from between her legs, couldn’t help but feel bad for him.

“It’s…fine,” she mumbled focusing on her pizza and phone again.

“Are y’sure, beautiful? I don’t want t’make y’uncomfortable.”

She believed him. He seemed so eager to please her and ease her worries. She nodded. “It’ll be fine,” she was telling herself in hopes it would be true. “But I’m making a pillow wall.”

He smiled around his pizza.

“Would y’prefer I sleep with or without a shirt?” He asked. Harry went to use the hotel gym and then took another shower. She used the time to read her book and sit on the balcony while the sun was setting. It wasn’t a picturesque view or anything, but the sky was a bunch of beautiful hues of pink, blue, and orange.

When Harry exited the shower, it was awkwardly silent for a bit. Harry tended to his after shower-care. She was looking at her book but not reading. She yawned, and that was when Harry asked his question. The inquiry felt like a double-edged sword. If she said with a shirt, it might imply she wanted to hide him from her view because she couldn’t help but look at him. If she said no, it would make it seem like she wanted to see him. “Whatever makes you comfortable,” she decided on.

He smirked and pulled his T-shirt off. “‘Fraid you’re not privy t’that sleeping habit, lovie.” She wondered if anyone had ever been murdered with a hotel phone cord. She felt extremely self-conscious about her t-shirt and leggings combo. “Feel free t’do the same, beautiful,” he grinned wickedly at her as he slipped into his side of the bed. She had two pillows under the blankets and two on top. She was certain that even if she had her own room, it wouldn’t be enough distance between them. “What if I want another pillow?” He asked mischievously.

“Go fuck yourself, Harry,” she grumbled.

He frowned. “C’mon, lovie. S’not so bad.” She didn’t say anything in response and turned to her side facing away from him. She scrolled mindlessly on her phone. “D’you want t’watch something together?” He asked.

“No, thank you,” she murmured quietly. “You can though,” she shrugged. “I’ll sleep through most anything.”

He nodded. “Okay...well...good night, beautiful. Sleep well,” he said sweetly.

She didn’t fall asleep right away. Instead, she imagined the nice museum she saw online. The picturesque street about a mile away with cute little shops. There was the coffee shop she wanted to go to. All the things that Harry couldn’t ruin with his annoying little remarks.

Or his stupid hot body.

Other than some gentle laughter, she didn’t hear or worry about Harry sleeping less than six inches from her own body. The pillows provided the perfect barrier between them so that she could sleep easily knowing that he wouldn’t bug her.

Only four days until it was over. She could do this.

Harry heard her phone drop from her hands to the floor about an hour later. He hurried to her side of the room and made sure her alarm was set, locked her phone, and placed it on her nightstand. He saw the way she seemed to shiver in her sleep. Probably because she was right under the vent. The space between her brows puckered due to her discomfort. He draped the blanket that was at the end of the bed over her. Almost immediately, the skin between her eyebrows smoothed back out. He wanted to kiss her in the very same spot but of course would never do that without her permission.

The movie Harry was playing was funny and he enjoyed it immensely. True to her word, she slept through his laughter and the sound of the movie itself. She was wiggly when she slept. The pillows and blankets balled all around her and Harry wondered how she slept like that each night. It looked nearly painful at times.

Of course, the movie came to an end, and she was still sound asleep when Harry finally turned the TV off and hunkered down into his side of the mattress. He tried not to disturb her pillow wall, but she had managed to throw all of them every which way. He smirked to himself, shaking his head at her.

Harry must have gotten only an hour of sleep under his belt when he woke up to her kicking and mumbling under her breath. The light coming through the window allowed for his eyes to adjust a bit to the darkness against her figure sprawled in the sheets. He shook his head glancing over at her in complete disarray. Her body was still twisted around the pillows and blankets. Harry was left with just the sheet. He smirked at her.

He threw his arm over his eyes and ignored her fitful movements. But they kept going and going. The mumbling too. He felt bad about whatever she was dreaming about, but he didn’t dare touch her. If she woke up to him touching her, even if it was for comfort, he was certain she would kill him.

Harry was a pretty heavy sleeper himself, so her fussy movements didn’t bother him in the slightest. Whatever she was dreaming about had to be a kick for sure and for that he felt bad.

But then Harry heard small whimpers coming from her and he felt his stomach knot. It felt like he was dying at the mere sound of her discomfort. The anguish he felt coming from her was brutal and he wanted nothing more than to hold her and fix it. “Oh, hey,” he hummed, sitting up against the headboard. He looked her over and thought incurring her wrath would be well worth it if he could stop her from whimpering miserably. “Lovie? Y’okay?” He gently shook her by the shoulder. She seemed to be fighting whatever she was dreaming about, and the blankets were keeping her trapped. Harry grabbed the pillows that were on top of her. Her arms were nearly swaddled against her body with the blanket wrapped around her and pulled up to her neck tightly.

Harry flicked the light on his nightstand so he could get a better look at her.

The poor thing was glistening with sweat around her hairline, tears were leaking from her closed eyes, and that space between her brows was cinched together like she was in pain. “Oh, no,” he murmured and crawled out of his side and came around to her side. “Hey,” he cooed. He crouched in front of her and began tossing the pillows to the floor. He unraveled the blankets from around her. “Lovie,” he murmured. He called her lovie at the start of the evening and he couldn’t stop. He loved to call her beautiful and enjoyed how readily she answer to it. But something about her sweet face just made the word ‘lovie’ roll right off his tongue. It was effortless; like it was the only thing he should call her. Once she was without the swaddle of blankets, and the pillows attacking her, she was practically gasping for air in her sleep. “Lovie, you’re having a bad dream,” he gave her a good shake causing her eyes to flash open. Harry gazed at her in alarm. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to hide from Harry. But it was far too late for that. “Are y’okay, beautiful?”

She ignored him. Her breathing evening out. She turned away from him. “Lovie...”

“Would you stop calling me cute names?” She asked, the exasperation thick in her voice. But she was still distraught. He could tell. He was quiet for a minute letting her work through whatever just happened. “Please don’t tell anyone about this,” she whispered.

He blinked. He felt so sad she believed so little of him. “I would never tell anyone anything ‘bout you—”

“You whisper about me all the time,” she snipped.

His mouth fell open in disbelief. “Lovie, you have t’know I don’t whisper anything ‘bout you. M’telling them how pretty I think y’are and how you’ll get all flustered that m’whispering nothing ‘bout you. They know I adore you and think nothing short of wonderful things ‘bout you. Y’seriously don’t get it do you?” He felt so utterly annoyed by her, himself. He thought she was lovely and yes; she was fun to annoy but he would never say anything about her that hurt her reputation. He was sad she thought he would. It never made sense for her to dislike him so intently. He never really cared and turned it into a joke. But knowing she truly didn’t like him made his heart heavy.

She refused to look at him. It was silent for several beats. Harry stared at the back of her t-shirt, her shoulders trying to find an easy rhythm. He wanted her to explain it. Right now. In the middle of the night when they were stuck in a small hotel room together. “Why did you trap me in the slide?” She whispered.

Of all the things he expected her to say, that was not one of them. “What?” He shook his head.

“In Year 2? You and your friends trapped me in the slide, now I’m embarrassingly claustrophobic. If I have anything covering my face, I have a meltdown. It feels like I can’t breathe. If someone...holds me the wrong way for too long, I get overwhelmed. It’s ruined so many relationships and it’s...” she sniffled, her shoulders staggering a bit at the effort.

He frowned. “Is that why you hate me?” He whispered. She didn’t answer him. “Lovie, I had nothing to do with that.”

“Well, they blamed you.”

He sighed. “So, all this time you’ve hated me, and it wasn’t even my doing?” He asked.

It seemed to appeal to the logical part of her brain. She was still for a moment longer, her breathing evening out. But then she rolled to her other side and stared at Harry. He hated the tears that stained her cheeks. That little crease between her eyebrows. He reached out and pressed his fingers there to smooth it out and she let him. It didn’t even bother him that she hadn’t liked him for so long.

Her lips rolled into her mouth as she thought over the last twenty-something years of their lives. It may not have bothered Harry but now it bothered her. “Why have you liked me even though I’m so...crabby toward you?”

He smiled excitedly. Like he was getting a Christmas present or told he won a raffle. “What isn’t there t’like ‘bout you, beautiful?” His hand cupped her cheek and his thumb gently rubbed at the stain of salt on her cheek. The back of her head was warm with sweat and if it wasn’t so late at night, she would feel more self-conscious.

“You’re a glutton for punishment.”

It was progress though because she didn’t push his hand away from her face. “Can I get back on the bed? I won’t touch you, but I don’t want you t’have the pillows and blankets attack you.”

“You can touch me,” she mumbled.

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “Oh yeah?” He rose from the floor to head back to his side of the bed.

She rolled her eyes at him. “I hate you.”

“I don’t think y’do, actually,” he said smugly.

“Are you going to annoy me the entire time?”

Harry turned off his bedside lamp and crawled under the sheet. “Probably.”

She sighed; he imagined her pretty eye roll the way she always did. Harry put his arm behind his head, closed his eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. “You really didn’t trap me in there?” She asked.

Harry turned to his side and looked at the shadow outline of her staring up at the ceiling. He wanted to reach out and trace the shape of her profile, follow it down her arm and hold her hand. “Even as a six-year-old, lovie, I couldn’t hurt you. If...I knew...I would have gotten y’out of there so fast,” he promised. “Poor baby,” he murmured and bravely reached out and grabbed her hand. She didn’t pull from him. She let his fingers fit between the spaces of hers, gave her a gentle squeeze.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t know why you were mad,” he shrugged.

“You were really just going to let me hate you for the rest of our life?”

“Hate and love are very close together in the brain,” he said knowingly. “Given y’said the rest of our life,” he smiled excitedly, “I had a feeling y’couldn’t keep it up forever. And I’d wait forever for you, beautiful.” He sounded so arrogant she wanted to hate him just to spite him. But she couldn’t argue with him. It was exhausting hating him. Being in the hotel room with him—especially when he was in a towel—was ruining her grumpy front. Even with sleep still on her brain, she couldn’t help but think about how gentle he was with her and her anxious mind. He was so utterly accommodating and kind to her. He would have slept on the floor if she asked. But she rather enjoyed the feel of his fingers holding hers. “Do you have nightmares a lot?” He asked, interrupting her thoughts.

She shook her head. “Not anymore...Only when I get all twisted like that. I usually sleep better with a weighted blanket to help my anxiety about it. It also keeps me in place, mostly. I’ve had a lot of therapy to help cope with it and the blanket usually helps but obviously y’can’t really travel with a fifteen-pound blanket.”

“Can you snuggle?” He asked.

She blinked at the darkness in front of her. “Can I what?”

“Can you snuggle with someone?” He repeated.

She bit the inside of her lip. “As long as my face isn’t covered,” she muttered. “But it’s definitely been a problem in past relationships if that’s what you’re asking me ab—”

Harry had his arms looping around her and he pulled her toward him so quickly, she barely had time to process. His body spooned behind her, one arm snug beneath her neck and the other draped around the front of her hips. Her heart rate had to be approaching a hundred and fifty. “Is this alright, beautiful?” He murmured into the back of her hair. She was speechless, truly. Harry holding her like...like she didn’t just have a major meltdown. Like he adored her still. “Lovie?” He said, nearly releasing her when she didn’t answer. Worried that her heart rate was too high—he could practically feel it through her back pressed to him. Maybe this was too much.

But right as he started to pull away, her arm pressed against Harry’s. She sighed softly. “No...m’fine,” her voice was quiet.

“Are y’sure? I don’t want t’upset you,” he promised. “Been dreaming ‘bout snuggling with you... but not at the expense of your comfort or anxiety,” he assured her.

“You dream about cuddling with me?”

“Among other things,” he spoke to the back of her hair, his lips smiling against her head.

She rolled her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“I really didn’t think y’could hate me forever, lovie.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. It was the first time she ever apologized to him. His heart skipped a beat.

“I know, beautiful. How would y’have known, though? I wish y’told me, but I know why y’didn’t.”

More silence. Harry’s bare stomach was touching her t-shirt, his legs were crooked up against the back of hers. They fit like puzzle pieces. She bit the inside of her lip feeling exhaustion pull over her mind. How was she supposed to sleep knowing Harry was sleeping right next to her?

“Good night, lovie,” he murmured.

She sighed, relaxing, and drifting to sleep almost immediately.

The first day of the conference went by quickly with not much to really show for it. Harry enjoyed it immensely and had a thousand new ideas that he suggested to her over their lunch together. She enjoyed it as well but after her night snuggled up to Harry nothing else seemed remotely important.

“Hey, lovie?” Harry said, trying to retrieve her attention. “Did y’have plans this afternoon? M’gonna catch up with a friend,” he nodded toward another table. The idea of Harry leaving her alone actually saddened her, but of course...they’d have the night.

Unless the friend was a girl. In which case he very well could not come back to their shared room. She nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. Have fun,” she encouraged.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Keep the bed warm for me, yeah?” He winked at her as he pulled away.

She thought maybe killing him would still be an option.

She perused the little picturesque street taking a whole bunch of pictures and stopping in nearly every shop on the street and making a purchase in almost every single one. It was actually really nice. Not too hot, not too cold. She even sort of wished Harry had gone with her on her little adventure. She thought he would have liked some of the shops as much as she did.

It was precisely when she wished Harry had gone with her that she realized she really liked him. All this time.

Maybe he was right, and her brain mistook her affection for him as hatred. She wasn’t ready to say love yet. Even if her subconscious was screaming about how lovely he was.

Even last night when Harry was comforting and gentle about her phobia. He didn’t make her feel bad...in fact he made her feel normal and wonderful. The new information about the slide was a revelation. She had spent so many years with ill-harbored feelings toward Harry. It seemed wasteful after last night. He was kind, understanding, attractive—

She was not in love with him.

She couldn’t be, right?

He was annoying. Even if he wasn’t whispering about her, he was still making her feel grumpy. The constant gag gifts and deliveries were vexing beyond compare.

But those dimples when he smiled? They could undo all those negative emotions she felt. She was certain that there was some pheromone or chemical released in the air when he smiled. One that made her mind momentarily forget that he had been the cause of the slide thing.

However, that wasn’t true anymore.

So...

No. It’s like meeting someone for the first time. You don’t love him.

Not when he called her beautiful or lovie. Not when he openly flirted with her or held her against his warm body in the middle of the night and kept the nightmares away. She did not love him.

But maybe she just really, really, really, really, liked him and wanted to spend all her extra time with him now and show him the little shop she found because she smelled three different kinds of soap that she thought he would enjoy.

Obviously, that wasn’t love.

She looked more like some shopping bag monster than girl, when she made her way into the hotel elevator. Harry was already in the room when she got back. “Have fun?” He asked, putting the new file he brought with him and his pencil aside. His smile was so bright she really wondered how she could have ignored him for so long.

“Did…you catch up with your friend?” She asked. She was gone for almost three hours, she worried that she would come back to find Harry with someone, or someone in the shower...

Or in our bed. One part of her mind was grumpy at the thought. Not our bed. The one brain cell left on the rational side of her mind shouted back.

Harry began untangling her wrists and fingers from the bags she held while her brain had its own conversation. The bags left angry red marks on her skin. He nodded, placing the bags on the floor. “Yeah, jus’ had a quick stop at the pub for a drink,” he gently massaged the inside of her wrists. “I missed you,” he said cutely. She stared at him almost suspiciously. Like maybe all of this was a trick. Her distrust seemed palpable because he frowned. “I did, beautiful. Really missed you,” he brought her wrist to his lips and pressed a kiss on the soft inside skin. She missed him too. Even before she went to the shops, she was dreading leaving his side, but she wouldn’t tell him that. Her face must have softened a bit because the left side of his face turned up in a gorgeous half smile. It made her wonder how Harry had decided on editing and publishing and not modeling. “Would y’like t’get dinner with me?” He asked.

“Like a date?” She blurted out before she could stop herself.

“Yes, lovie. Like a date,” he rolled his eyes.

She frowned. “I don’t really have anything...date-worthy to wear.”

“Well, y’could go naked, but they might throw y’out.”

“Shut. Up.”

“Y’look beautiful now. I’d take y’out in the sexy pajamas y’wore last night.”

She wondered briefly if Harry had ever been hit in the head over the years and suffered irrevocable brain damage. “Sexy?”

“Your leggings?” He smiled mischievously. “M’almost jealous of ‘em touching all of your legs.”

Definitely hit in the head.

“Can I just...have a few minutes to touch up?” She asked, ignoring his comment.

“Course, beautiful. Not that y’need it.” He was good. She would give him that. He was very good at making her feel gooey and pretty. Harry said all the right flirty things. Dinner would be fun, and she was quite hungry.

She exited the bathroom after touching up her makeup and switching out her casual business blouse for a tank top with a cardigan. She swapped her slacks for a pair of jeans. The flats she wore stayed to complete her outfit.

“Will you marry me?” He sighed dreamily as she exited the bathroom.

He was going to give her an aneurysm.

“Shut up, Harry.”

“Ve’been waiting for this date for...” he smiled. “Oh, I don’t know, lovie. Least since university.”

Harry had to have a death wish. “You’ve...liked me? Even though I was mean to you?”

“A glutton for punishment, as it were,” he winked bringing her words back.

She grabbed her little cross body bag and Harry followed her out their hotel room door. Since the slide incident, she had been to at least four different therapists to help alleviate the worry and fear she had. In all honesty, she was much better than she used to be. The airplane was a little daunting during takeoff but that could have been due to a fear of flying, not claustrophobia. Her small attic or the cramped closet in the hall of her place didn’t bother her any longer. Being on a train in public transport rush hour—even when the train came to a standstill in the middle of the dark tunnel—didn’t really bother her anymore. It was only when her face was covered for too long without her ability to get out quickly, sleeping, plagued with nightmares, or swaddled in her blankets too tightly that she felt the waves of anxiety suffocating her like that day on the slide.

Or when the elevator clanged to a stop and jolted her so hard, she nearly fell into Harry.

It was three seconds of pure silence before she realized what happened. Before Harry realized.

“Shit.” Harry whispered.

“Oh no,” her pulse quickened. Her head started to ache, and it felt like the elevator was suddenly the size of an Amazon box and she was crammed inside. It took her a moment to realize the wheezing was coming from her.

“Hey, hey,” Harry quickly grabbed her shoulders. Her eyes welled with tears, and she was heaving on her breath. One of his hands reached for the emergency button causing a monotone ring to take over all sounds in the small space; the volume was louder than her heavy breathing. “Lovie, tell me what t’do,” he begged. “M’sorry,” he whispered. She felt lightheaded and scared. So scared she obviously was having trouble breathing. She worried that she would pass out right into Harry’s arms.

“M’scared,” she croaked.

“I know, beautiful,” he squeezed her shoulders. He held her away at arm’s length afraid to bring her closer in case it would make matters worse. All he wanted to do was wrap her close and console her. “But...s’okay,” he promised. “Really, s’okay.” It wasn’t; he wasn’t trying to make light of her fear either. He knew how bad it was because he had spent the last twenty years waiting for this moment. For her to say she didn’t hate him. For the last ten, he longed for a date. One measly dinner to change her mind. But the broken elevator was going to ruin it all. Honestly, that didn’t even matter to him. All of it didn’t matter. He had to try something to ease her worry. Something to help her scared mind. “I would never let anything happen t’you. Would never let anything hurt you,” he was gazing right into her eyes. He definitely didn’t cure her, but she could feel how devastated Harry felt. He meant it; he wouldn’t let anything harm her as much as he could possibly control. “Deep breaths? Does that help?” He asked. She nodded. She tried but it was hard, the air she sucked in and released was shaky and not very deep. It was hard to think about breathing deeply when all she could think about was dying in this tin box. “Easy, lovie. S’okay,” he squeezed her shoulders again.

The alarm was plain on his face, and she wondered if he wanted to hold her. She wanted to be held but wasn’t sure it would work. Her stomach felt so knotted. Thought maybe she would throw up and she couldn’t imagine a worse first date with Harry than throwing up in an enclosed space. She sank to the floor, her legs scrunched up so she could rest her forehead against her knees. Harry crouched in front of her, clearly still nervous and unsure of what to do. The one part of her brain that still had some rational thought left thought it was a travesty that she would lose Harry from this. She thought if she made it out, she would have to just go home. She couldn’t share a bed with him.

“They’re probably getting someone t’help right now, beautiful. S’okay,” he placed his hands on her ankles. It seemed like the safest option. He was so mortified this happened. To her of all people. The ringing of the elevator seemed to die down with the ringing in her ears. “Lovie?” He asked; he felt anxious that she was breathing so hard. She looked at him, her vision blurred by the tears. “Tell me what t’do,” he begged. He felt so useless. So worried that she was going to pass out or have a meltdown that she would inextricably link to him and never forgive him. After he just made some progress.

He thought about her six-year-old self. Trapped in that slide, her little brain all terrified. He wondered if that little version of herself still existed inside her. It hurt him to think about that poor little girl scared to pieces. He leaned forward and pressed his lips on her forehead and kept pressed there for a moment. That moment in time seemed to stretch on for eternity. But, as he kept his lips on her skin, he noticed her breathing slowly calmed. Her muscles seemed to relax.

“That feels nice,” she murmured almost serenely. He smirked against her skin. Slowly, he pulled away. Her eyes watched Harry with worry, but he slid beside her before he moved too far away. The shaky breathing picked up just a little. Her heart still fluttered with anxiety. She rested her cheek on her knee facing him.

“I...I could...do it again if y’want. If y’think it would help,” he suggested, turning toward her a little more head on. She lifted her head, it felt so achy and heavy. Harry cupped her face and pressed his lips on her skin again. She sighed softly. The ache seemed to ease at his touch.

Ugh. Harry was medicine that she didn’t know she needed. He dragged his lips across her skin, peppering her hairline with soft little presses. She wondered if he would always be this gentle with her.

She still wasn’t sure how she felt about her mind thinking about things like always with Harry. She was fairly certain she would die of humiliation the moment her brain returned to normal once they got off the elevator. There wouldn’t be an always after this. Harry would think she was nuts or ridiculous. There wouldn’t even be a sometimes.

“Are y’okay, lovie?” He hummed against her skin. “As y’can be right now?”

She nodded, feeling utterly safe with Harry beside her. She enjoyed the way his hands felt on her skin. His lips on her face. It was too bad she didn’t know all these years he had nothing to do with her childhood trauma. She thought she really could be in love with him.

It took an hour, but they were finally freed of the metal tin. The moment she had fresh air, she felt infinitely better. Harry could see it on her face and in her body language. She was entirely at ease. Back to normal. After a flurry of questions and the hotel offering a few extra nights, they left for a nearby restaurant. Harry held her hand, fingers twisted together. He didn’t say much, because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say after that. He knew she had to have felt so exposed and vulnerable.

“We...don’t have to go out, if you don’t want,” she mumbled.

Harry frowned and stopped the pair of them in the middle of the sidewalk. “Do y’want t’go back?” He asked.

She bit the inside of her lip. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked in surprise. “For what, beautiful?”

“For being crazy?” Did he forget what just happened?

“Crazy?” He repeated in surprise. “Lovie, s’not your fault. M’glad you’re okay.”

“You’re not...you don’t think I’m...weird?”

His heart felt such sadness for her. “No, lovie. Course not. Think you’re lovely. I was so scared y’were going to hurt yourself in all the worry. M’so glad you’re okay. M’sorry y’had to—why are y’crying, beautiful? Are you alright?” He asked, her eyes spilling with tears. He thought he might cry right with her. Harry had a good six or seven inches on her and he bent his knees a bit so he could be eyelevel with her teary gaze. His hands cupped her face just like on the elevator and he looked pained that she was crying.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t know why she was apologizing. But he let her and pulled her toward him, careful not to cover her face with his embrace. She sobbed into his chest. Harry kissed the top of her head. “S’okay, beautiful. Don’t know why you’re apologizing. But s’okay.”

It felt so embarrassingly awful that she and Harry would never be.

They ordered takeout, had a drink while they waited—barely speaking as they did, and headed back to the hotel. Of course, they took the stairs. She didn’t even feel like eating as she sat across from Harry on the balcony. He ate his veggie stir fry quietly while she poked at the pasta in her takeout box. “That’s pasta, you remember?” He smirked at her. “You’re supposed t’eat it,” he encouraged. Trying to joke so she would feel a little better.

She couldn’t even muster an eye roll for him. Ending before they started...after a whirlwind of one night and day of the convention seemed utterly unfair.

“Lovie?” He asked quietly. She didn’t respond. She was worried she would cry. “Beautiful,” he murmured setting his food aside, crouched beside her seat and pushed her food to the side as well.

“I...I think I really like you,” she whispered.

He smiled. “Well finally, lovie. But y’don’t have t’cry ‘bout it, m’right here,” he gave her knee a gentle squeeze. Like he was consoling her.

She shook her head. “S’not fair to you or all that time I wasted. And I’m so weird.”

“You’re not weird, lovie,” he promised.

“Yes, I am, Harry.”

He shook his head. “Y’seriously going t’continue pushing me away when m’literally on my knees in front of you, beautiful? I don’t care if y’weird or not. I don’t care if y’cry on elevators or if y’sing in the shower. You’re m’favorite person t’annoy and I want t’do it, knowing I can kiss you after every joke,” he looked up at her eyes from his crouched position. “Y’don’t have t’waste any more time, lovie. M’right here.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, worried she was going to say no or something just because she was so nervous about all of it. It was twenty years of disliking Harry (well, not really, but yes really). That was twenty years of hating small spaces of getting nervous in crowds and explaining to boyfriends that she couldn’t attend some events even when she wanted to.

But Harry didn’t care.

And she believed him.

She should have begged him to leave her alone because it wasn’t fair to him, and she truly believed that. Harry was so much kinder than she ever, ever imagined. Now he was right, of course. He was right here. Right in front of her. Literally on his knees telling her he wanted her. Despite everything. So instead of opening her mouth where she might say no, she nodded slowly.

He sighed with relief and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her toward him. He carefully squeezed her rubbing his hand up and down her back so soothingly she wanted to cry some more. Harry had the gentlest touch, and it was melting her—inside and out. She sighed into his chest, arms wrapping back around him. She even pressed her face right into his T-shirt and didn’t feel the creeping sensation of doom surrounding her. Instead, all she could smell was the scent of Harry’s laundry detergent and the very essence of Harry.

“Thank you, beautiful,” he sighed into the top of her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. He pushed her away from his body but kept her in between his arms. He really loved touching her face. “Can’t wait t’join you in the shower, now,” he winked.

She rolled her eyes. He wasn’t going to quit, that much was certain. “You should be better than that detachable shower head,” she murmured.

He stared at her fully for at least half a minute, unable to speak. He cleared his throat after what seemed like a lifetime and then kissed the center of her forehead followed by the tip of her nose. Right before he kissed her lips for the first time in their lives, he whispered, “that I have t’see, lovie.”

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ichorai · 10 months

Text

hell, yeah ; roman roy ; part two (m).

pairing ; roman roy x f!reader

synopsis ; pain was an old friend for the both of you.

words ; 32.0k

themes ; fluff, angst, drama, slowburn, smut, childhood friends to lovers

warnings / includes ; depictions of mental and physical abuse, talks of sexual misconduct (cruises incidents), mentions of death, a lot of sexual/suicidal jokes and general foul language, a lot of business talk, phone sex & a handjob, degradation, roman’s implied demisexuality, reader's got a tooth motif bcs all the other roy sibs have their own motifs, a lot of morally grey shit

series masterlist. main masterlist.

The Roy’s summer home in the Hamptons was nothing short of grand. That was always the bare minimum for the family, after all. Though you had been preoccupied with work, having a lot piled up because of your time off for Shiv’s wedding—you had dropped quite a few important meetings to come at Logan’s behest. He called for you, and for all his children, to come to the Hamptons and discuss his plans to sell the company.

You stepped into the home, hands buried within your pockets. Immediately, you were hit by an overwhelmingly foul stench. It smelled an awful lot like rotten meat and, strangely, the piss-sodden alleyways in New York. Your face twisted into a grimace as you strode in, finding Kendall wandering aimlessly downstairs.

“Hey, uh, hi,” he said, awkwardly reaching for a hug when you stuck your arm out for a handshake. The both of you gingerly stepped away from each other.

“What’s that smell?” you asked, knowing full and well that Roman and Shiv were still quite angry with him for basically stabbing them in the back.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. I think they’re trying to figure that out,” he replied, waving his hands around to gesture to the milling workers. “You, uhm, you’ll get used to it. Listen, Y/N, I know you and Rome are close, so I just wanted to ask if you could… talk to him. For me.”

Arching a brow, you tilted your head. “You can’t talk to him yourself?”

“He’s not… he’s being difficult right now.”

“Understandably so.”

There was a melancholic look to his eyes. “I know. Can you just tell him I’m sorry? I want… I want us to be okay.”

Pursing your lips, you gave him a firm nod. “Okay, yeah, sure. No promises that it’d change anything, though. You know where he is?”

“By the beach. With Shiv.”

With a hum of farewell, you started backing off, making your way to the sandy shores not too far from the house. You spotted their figures in the distance, bundled in dark coats and long scarves. When they spotted you approaching, the both of them waved.

“Hey, guys,” you greeted, smiling brightly.

“Hey, fuck-face,” said Roman, giving you a quick hug, before stepping back to allow Shiv to do the same. “We were all waiting for you.”

“Sorry I’m late—work has been kicking my ass lately.”

Snorting, Roman quipped, “You know you can take a couple days to relax, right? I’m literally your boss.”

“I’m a general manager, Rome. If I stop, that’s a large chunk of Waystar down. I’m trying to keep the company from sinking further into the depths of hell,” you said lightly, crossing your arms. “But it seems like Logan wants to sell it away. What’s our viewpoint?”

The both of them struggled for words.

“If the selling isn’t actually real… like some kind of fucked-up loyalty test, we were just talking about how dad’s going to kill Kendall,” said Shiv, looking none too upset about the prospect. “How that would mean it could be Rome who takes up the mantle.”

That made sense. Connor was not an option, not in Logan’s eyes. He was barely a son to the man, much less the heir to his legacy.

“It could,” you said, careful. “It could also mean you, though.”

Both you and Roman stared Shiv down.

Finally, she caved and shook her head with a humorless laugh. “Yeah. Yes, it could be me.”

Sensing that the two of them were on the verge of another catfight, you quickly intercepted, “I bumped into Kendall in the house just now. He wanted me to, uhm, tell you that he’s sorry.”

Roman’s features twisted. “Well, tell him he can stick his apologies up his ass.”

“I’m not a fucking messenger! Tell him that yourself.”

Rolling her eyes, Shiv jerked her head back to the house. “We should probably get back inside. Dad’s gonna be here any minute by now.”

It was on your trek back that the three of you bumped into Kendall, who was wearing sunglasses even though the sky wasn’t all that visible through the gloomy clouds. Both Shiv and Roman didn’t hesitate to duke out their frustrations on him, asking why he changed his mind on the takeover so quickly.

“You do realize how fucked you’re going to be once you’re no longer of any use to him, right?” asked Roman to his older brother. “He’s got you eating fuckin’ humiliation gumbo on TV, and then what? Nothing.”

Snickering, Shiv added in, “Dad’s gonna play a merry tune on you and then throw you out the fucking window. You know that, right?”

“He’s like a sex robot for dad to fuck,” said Rome.

“He’s like a beaten dog.”

“He’s both of those things—and also a piece of shit.”

To your surprise, Kendall stood by and took all the insults his siblings lobbied at him, expression permanently fixed into one of unadulterated misery. A part of you felt bad for him, but another part of you knew he’d brought this upon himself.

Shiv stepped closer to him, each one of her words saturated in venom. “He’s a fucking narcissist who repeatedly puts his self-interest above everything else, and then tries to justify it with half-assed appeals of the rigors of the fucking market.”

“You’re a fucking prick,” Roman finally tacked on after Shiv’s mini-monologue. He glanced over at you. “Y/N, you wanna throw a punch?”

“What were you thinking, Kendall?” you quietly asked. “In what world did you see yourself winning against your father? And even if you did win, it’d be at the cost of your siblings. Would you kill them for your own personal gain? And not to mention that you relapsed and you’re not getting the help you need. You didn’t even thank Roman and I for picking you up from that addict’s shithole. We got you out of there because we were worried for you. We care about you. And you threw that right back in his face.”

Your words lingered heavily between the four of you.

When Kendall remained as silent as a statue, Roman let out a loud groan, rolling his eyes to the side. “Come on! Fight back, you fuck-bag.”

“Guys, I just… I…” Kendall paused to look off into the waters. “I can’t get into it.”

“Oh, you can’t get into it? Shucks,” Roman mocked. “Fuck you. Come on, man. Treat us! Why did you actually back out?”

Shame flooded his features. He completely disregarded Roman’s question by telling his little sister, “I’m sorry, Shiv. About the wedding.”

There were tears in her eyes. Her father had made her cry after ruining family therapy, and now her older brother was making her cry after ruining her wedding.

“How dare you apologize to me?” she asked, a sharp edge to her tone. With that, she rotated on her heel and strode off.

You and Roman followed after her, your arm linked with his.

“You look like shit, by the way,” Roman murmured to his brother as he brushed past him.

By the time you got back to the house, you caught sight of the cooks dumping the expensive food they’d been preparing and laboring over for hours straight into the trash. When you wondered aloud what was going on, one of them quietly answered that they’d found the source of the smell—a dead raccoon covered in maggots, rotting in the chimney. Logan demanded all the food be removed because it’d been sitting around in the stench, calling for pizza to be ordered instead.

When lunch rolled around, you sat between Roman and Kendall, feeling incredibly tense. The atmosphere between the siblings had yet to clear, and you weren’t quite sure if it ever would. The chatter died away when Logan cleared his throat sharply to quell the commotion and greet the family.

He began with a blunt address of the bear hug situation, which you noticed made Kendall’s foot tap against the floor in agitation.

“I guess the question is… do we really want this fight?” he asked. “Or is now the moment to cash in and fuck off out of the casino?”

Silence. He was met with dead silence.

“If we do fight, I need to tell the board who I want to take over,” said Logan. “So, please—I want you to speak freely.”

His words made Shiv tip her head back and scoff-laugh. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?”

“Come on! We’re pals here. Let’s fuckin’ have it out!” gruffed Logan as he surveyed the table.

As if to purposefully push her father’s buttons, Shiv crossed her arms and pointedly kept her mouth shut.

Tentative, Kendall spoke, “I think you should fight, but, uh… you’re the one who built it all. The man, the myth, the legend.”

In a condescending tone, Roman crooned, “Aw. That’s adorable. You’re always lookin’ out for Pops, aren’t you?”

“But is he saying Dad should stay on because that’s what Sandy and Stewy would want?” asked Connor with a frown, ever the conspiracist. “How do we know he’s not a double agent?”

“Nice to see you, too, Con,” mumbled Kendall.

Shaking his head, the older brother said, “Hey, Ken, I’m just saying what others are thinking.”

“It’s possible,” Shiv added, narrowing her eyes.

“Should we frisk him for a wire? Burn him? See if he’s a witch?” joked Roman, scratching at the back of his head.

Interrupting the banter, Logan said, “He’s taken his medicine.”

“Taken his medicine?” Shiv parroted in an affronted manner. “Is that it? Dad—you beat Roman with a fucking slipper in Gustav until he cried for ordering lobster, remember? And Kendall tries to kill you and he’s only five minutes out in the cold?”

You remembered that day. When you’d casually told Roman that you preferred lobster over crab. How he tried to order it for you instead of what was already on the table, and how an already ticked-off Logan was tipped over the edge and lost his shit, taking his frustrations out on Roman. The memory of the actual beating itself was hazy—all you could recall were thuds and muffled whimpers, fearful tears on your cheeks. The purple bruises on his face didn’t fade away for a long while. He would try to joke about it, but you never found it funny. You had apologized over and over again, until Roman told you to shut up and forget about it, nonchalantly adding that he wanted the lobster, too. That it wasn’t just for you.

But it was. It was all yours, had Roman been successful in acquiring the crustacean for you. You didn’t need to know that, though.

Trying his best to shrug off Shiv’s words, Roman tilted his head to the side and quipped, “Well, it’s not polite to order the most expensive item on the menu when you’re not paying, Siobhan.”

Logan could dump a billion dollars into an incinerator and that would barely even make a dent on how much wealth he was hoarding, you wanted to say. You kept your mouth firmly shut, biting down on your tongue.

As per typical Logan fashion, he brushed off the call-out of his abuse to his son. “We’re not doing memory lane here. Come on, spit it out. What do you all think? Stick or sell?”

“Well, I think you’re in the prime of your life,” chimed Tom. “I think another decade is just what the doctor ordered.”

From beside you, Roman’s knee nudged into yours as he began miming choking on a dick. You smiled, almost laughing out loud, but caught yourself before you did.

“I, uhm, I think selling seems cool…” began Willa.

“Hey, Dad, Willa thinks selling seems cool!” snorted Roman, which made Willa fall uncomfortably silent.

With a disapproving stare, Connor bit out, “Asshole.”

“You,” said Logan. It took you a moment to realize that he was staring directly at you. Heat prickled at the back of your neck. “What do you think?”

You sat up straighter in your chair. “You’ll be rich enough to live a thousand lives if you sell. You’ll still be rich enough to do so if you stay in the game. The only difference is, you lose your legacy if you go with the former.”

Scrutinizing you, Logan dipped his head and took a sip of champagne. “Mmh, wise words, sure. Not your opinion, though. Not what I asked for. Those are just facts we all fuckin’ know. Bah—don’t waste my time. Fucking useless. Leeching off of me while your parents are parading in a nameless exotic country, drinking their brains into toxic liquid that leaks out of their ears.”

Shame curled within your stomach, and a blistering flush spidered through your skin. You could feel all eyes on you, including Roman’s. You were no stranger to Logan’s verbal abuse, but it’d been a long time since he brought up your parents' and their neglectful nature. The wounds were reopened, and stung much worse than you remembered.

Drumming her fingers against the table, Shiv said, “Dad, I think it’s possible that you’ve somewhat chilled the atmosphere of free-flowing debate here.”

“You know, Kodak was trading at about a hundred dollars a share back in ‘97. Yesterday, you could pick it up for about three bucks. That could be us. If we cash out, we could walk away with ten billion.” Logan glanced at his youngest son, noticing how he’d shuffled his chair closer to you. “Roman. What do you think?”

Swallowing, Roman shrugged. “I dunno, Dad. I fuckin’ love money, but I’m really scared of you, so…” He made a high-pitched noise, barely passable as a laugh. “Yeah, uhm, honestly—I’m not sure I’m willing to give my strategic advice in a public forum when I could just be a, uh, a player in any future moves.”

There was obvious exasperation in Logan’s eyes. Disappointments, the lot of you were in his eyes. Without another word, Logan stood up and began to hobble out of the dining room, pizza left untouched.

“Uhm, Dad?” Roman called out after him, confused.

He didn’t respond.

Roman patted your back twice before getting up as well, following after his father. Shiv was hot on his heels.

One by one, Logan had told them through the door he had closed behind him. He wanted his kids to come in one by one, alone, so that he could have their unfiltered opinion.

Roman went in first, but not before squeezing your hand, and slipping through. When he emerged only ten minutes later, his face was despondent. But his lips were twitching upwards, and you could immediately tell that he was just faking it.

“He’s dying,” he joked with faux anguish. “Riddled with cancer.”

The way Shiv’s brows kinked told him that she didn’t find it all that funny. “Rome.”

“What? It’s a joke. It’s funny. Dad’s got cancer. What’s not funny about that?” You patted his back and nudged him over to the couches, where Connor and Willa were sitting.

The eldest son rolled his eyes. “Sick puppy,” he called Roman.

“No, but seriously, he asked me to run the company.” Dead silence. “I’m kidding. Or am I?”

It was then that Logan called for Shiv to go in. You took Roman’s arm, leading him off into another room, where it was quieter.

“Hope you’re not planning on molesting me back here,” Roman languidly commented, but didn’t fight off your grip. “Nobody would believe me after what I said about Dad—I’d be like the boy who cried wolf.”

“Rome,” you said, partially exasperated, partially somber. “What did he say back there?”

The man across from you scratched at the back of his head. “Honestly? Nothing.”

“Hm?”

“I mean—I explained to him that it’d be smart to sell some shit, keep some shit. Financialize the company. I don’t know. Couldn’t really gauge his reaction—then he just said okay and told me I could go.” Your friend rested his hands on his hips. “Do you think that was smart? Do you, uhm, think he thinks that was stupid?”

It took you another moment to shake your head tentatively. “I think you did the best you could, given the ultimatum. Besides—you wouldn’t really want to run this shitshow, would you?”

He stepped back in an affronted manner. “What do you mean? You don’t think I can do it?”

“It’s not a matter of whether or not you can do it, Ro. It’s about if you want to or not. And I know you wouldn’t. It’s not… it’s not you. You’ve always said the company was like a cage for you.”

The way Roman squared his shoulders told you that he was growing defensive. “Yeah, well, it’s like a fuckin’—a good fuckin’ golden cage. An amazing cage. A cage where I can roll around and throw shit at people. I’d like to stay here for the rest of my life.”

“Do you? Really?”

“What, is this some kind of reverse psychology bullshit Dad put you up to? Just—” He stepped back when you reached out for him. “Fuck off.”

With a huff, you shook your head. “Roman, you need to pull your head out of your fucking ass and realize that I’m the only friend you have. If you can’t trust me, you’re fucked.”

There was a tense beat of silence between you.

Then, he narrowed his eyes on you. “If you stab my back, I’m going to kill you, then throw myself off the highest building I can find. It’ll be like a Shakespearean tragedy.”

“Okay, Rome.”

“I’ll put your head on a spike. Keep it as decoration.”

Slowly, he let you wrap your arms around him. “Okay, Romeo.”

“I’ll pluck your teeth out and wear them around my neck like a string of pearls.”

“Love you, too, Ro,” you said, hugging him tight.

“Yeah, whatever, fuck-face.” He buried his nose into your neck, inhaling sharply. “I knew you were going to molest me.”

The family reconvened later that night, where Logan announced that he decided he was going to keep the company, claiming his ambitions to be the last man standing. Then, he pronounced Roman and Kendall as co-chief operating officers, much to everyone’s dismay.

“We need to stick tight—tighter than ever now,” Logan defended when Roman began to protest.

“But he—no. No, I’m sorry. Excuse me? He… he tried to help your oldest enemy to take over and now he’s getting a fucking promotion? Is that what’s happening?” Rome asked from beside you, arms crossed over his chest.

The old man nodded. “That’s my decision.”

“Well, it’s bullshit,” Roman declared.

Quiet settled over the group.

Like a dog being kicked, Roman withered away beneath his father’s contemptuous stare. You put a hand on his shoulder.

“And you’re going to name a successor?” Connor asked.

“After some consideration, I think we just need a name to flag privately to big investors for now. I mean, it could be anyone. I’m not going anywhere. Could be a stuffed fuckin’ shirt. Could be Y/N, for all I know.”

Did he just compare you to a stuffed shirt—?

“Gerri,” said Logan. “It could be Gerri. We might as well say it’s Gerri.”

With a quirked brow, Shiv said, “Congratulations.”

Her godmother tilted her head and shifted in her seat. “Wow. Okay. Thank you.”

“It won’t be Gerri,” Logan rudely clarified. “But Gerri’s fine. Just so we’re clear.”

She was an expert at hiding her disdain, clearing her throat slightly. “No, yeah, I think we’re very clear.”

With that, Logan dismissed himself, calling for Kendall to follow after him. His number one boy.

It was clear that Roman was still upset. He pulled away from you to go sulk about to his sister.

That night, when the moon shone brighter in the Roy’s summer home than it ever did in the city, and you were buried under a thick blanket, you felt the mattress dip beneath another person’s weight. You didn’t need to open your eyes to know it was Roman.

“Shut up,” he gruffed when you smiled ever so slightly, even though you hadn’t said anything.

You hummed pleasantly when he curled his arms around your form like a koala would a tree. The two of you fell asleep that way, breathing each other in and dreaming of necklaces made of teeth.

The acquisition to take on PGM was a bad fucking idea. One of the worst you’ve heard, in fact. When Logan brought it up to you and a few other managers during a meeting, you didn’t hesitate to go bee-lining for Roman’s office, demanding him to tell you every single detail.

“So, you think this is, like, not good?” he asked, voice high-pitched and unstable. Just earlier today, he’d been telling his dad and Shiv what a great idea this was.

“No, Roman. It’s not fucking good. I’m sorry, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want the most trustworthy news source in America right now to be adopted into a fuckin’... fascist, right-wing, conservative dick jerking fest!” You drummed your fingers against his table. “Ro, this can’t happen. It could very well tank Waystar, and news media outlets in general. Reliability goes down, money goes down, our rivals go up. The political climate couldn’t handle such a change like this—”

Pulling at his face, Roman shook his head. “Fuckin’ political climate. Everything’s about the political climate these days. Fuck!”

“Roman, I’m being serious,” you said, brows furrowing.

He sucked in a deep breath. “Fuck. Ugh—fuck! You are… you’re so…” He made an unintelligible noise while shaking his fists at you, nose wrinkling. “You’re right. God. I hate saying that. Feels like I just took a bite out of a rock. But even if you are, I can’t just stab dad in the back like that.”

Shoulders loosening, you nodded in understanding. “What’re you gonna do?”

“Tabitha is friends with Naomi Pierce. I’ll ask her to get me in touch,” Roman said, lips pursed to the side. It didn’t go past your notice that his stance on the Pierce situation was still left ambiguous.

Your eyebrows raised a fraction. “Tabitha? You guys still going steady?”

“Uh-huh. Yup. Never better,” he replied, a tad too quickly.

“Really?” you asked. To none of his surprise, you read him like an open book. “You must really like her.”

“Mhm.”

“But not like-like her?”

Roman clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth in distaste. “What are you, nine?”

“You didn’t say yes,” you said in a sing-song voice. Then, you sobered up to seriously tell him, “Oh, Ro, she’s a great catch, sure, but if you don’t have romantic feelings for her, then don’t string her along like that.”

Rolling his eyes to the side, Roman tried his best to sidestep the topic. “It’s none of your beeswax, you prick. Anyways—you’re coming to Hungary, right? Corporate retreat and all that jazz.”

You didn’t feel like the conversation about Tabitha was quite over, but you let it slide for now. “Yes, Roman. Not really looking forward to it, now that I have to deal with an entire acquisition worth billions hovering over me.”

“Just relax for now—it’s not concrete, even if dad says it is.” Roman stood up from his desk to go pour himself a drink. “I’ll save you a spot on the plane. Next to me, if I’m feeling nice. Next to Greg if I want to be entertained by watching you kill yourself in front of him.”

“Thanks, Romeo,” you dryly said.

“You’re welcome. Okay, you can go away now. I wanna jerk off in front of the window without you watching this time. If you stay, I’ll fuck you against it, and that’d be my one-way ticket to a stern finger-wagging by HR.”

With a snort, you got up from your chair, heading for the door. You couldn’t help the way your cheeks burst aflame at his words, even though you knew it was just light-hearted banter. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, you fuckin’ slut.”

“Bitch,” he shot back, just as you stepped foot out of his office.

“Whore!” you yelled over your shoulder, loud enough to have a few employees turn their head curiously.

Roman watched you go through the glass windows, shaking his head with fond amusement.

The estate in Hungary was surrounded by forests and clean air—a stark contrast to New York. You were walking alongside Roman down to the hunting grounds, hands shoved into the pockets of your jacket. The rifle slung across his shoulder kept bumping into you, and you would push him away with a mild grin each time it did. He wasn’t very good at walking straight, eventually colliding into you mere minutes later.

The amicable atmosphere was effectively killed when Kendall approached the two of you, solemn-faced as ever.

“Hey, guys,” he greeted in a monotone voice. “Listen, I have a question.”

Both of you stared at him, waiting for him to go on.

After an awfully lengthy pause he continued, “So, uh, did you guys get a call from that biographer?”

Right. You’d been in the middle of discussing with Tom how he’d landed a top position at ATN when your phone began to ring. You politely excused yourself to take the call, surprised to hear a woman claiming to write an unauthorized biography on your godfather—and she wanted you as a source. Though you had many opinions on a man, you knew that voicing them would be nothing but trouble for you.

Roman rolled his eyes. “I mean, yeah, obviously. I’m the interesting one, after all.”

When you laughed, Roman grinned along with you.

“I got a call, too,” you admitted. “Did you?”

Tilting his head into a nod, Kendall mumbled, “Yeah. I did.”

“Well? Are you thinking of talking to her?” asked Roman.

“I don’t know,” Kendall said. “Maybe. You guys?”

“No… but if you’re going to talk to her, then I guess I have to talk to her, too. Just to correct your bullshit,” Roman responded.

Two seconds of silence before you huffed out a sigh. “It's a messy business that I don’t want to involve myself in. If Logan finds out, which I’m sure he will, I’m not going to let myself be killed because of it.”

The two started talking about Pierce. Both of them sounded so awfully fake about the entire ordeal that you wanted to bash their heads together and force them not to speak through a brown nosing filter. Their conversation came to a halt when Roman’s phone began to ring, and he stepped away to answer privately, much to Kendall’s chagrin.

“Hey, Kendall,” you broached, rocking your weight back and forth on your heels. “If you talk to that writer, Logan won’t be as forgiving to you this time. He’ll slit your throat in front of everyone to see.”

The man who you onced looked up to as an older brother stared at you with a dead expression. “I know,” was all he said.

Once Roman came ambling back, Kendall began to interrogate him about the call. Defensive, Roman lied—you knew he was. He had an obvious tell: the way his nose would twitch and his left eye went all squinty. The older brother told him he was full of shit.

Before they could break out in another argument, a Hungarian hunter came up to the three of you, claiming that the truck was ready to take them out into the wilderness.

“Let’s go murder a terrified mammal,” quipped Roman, taking your hand and leading you away from Kendall.

The hunting party returned to the estate with four boars. You took no part in the killings, having stayed in the truck to speak to Gerri on the phone. Apparently, she had very strong doubts about adopting PGM, and wanted to know if you felt the same. You were Logan’s family, she had said, and he listened to family more than his own general counsel.

You told her you would if you could, but Logan was adamant on taking on PGM. No amount of needless peddling would sway his mind.

Hours later, when the sky was dark and the table was laid out with all sorts of fruits and glasses of spiced wines, everybody was seated for dinner. You sat between Roman and Gerri, speaking to both of them in hushed whispers about nothing quite important.

The amicable atmosphere was shattered when Logan stood up to address everybody.

“Someone has spoken to Michelle Pantsil.” The biographer.

Both you and Roman glanced at each other, knowing that it was neither of you. Was it possibly Kendall? Had he been lying to the both of you again? Or had it been someone else? Tom? Greg? Gerri? Frank?

“We’ve got rats on this ship,” continued your godfather, rounding behind people’s chairs in a menacing, domineering manner. “And Pierce—who’s got my back, hm? Who’s really behind me? Anyone wanna own up? Hm? Anyone want to rat out a rat?”

Ah. So it seemed Pierce knew of Logan’s moves now. You didn’t dare chance a glance at Roman, knowing it was him who had told Naomi.

Logan began to sharply question a few people at the table, demanding to know if they had anything they wanted to say to him. It shocked you even further when he barked out an order for everyone to put their phones on the table—both company and private.

“Is that really necessary?” asked Gerri. “I’m not even sure if that’s legal to demand people to—”

“Yeah, well, we’re getting down to brass fucking tacks,” spat Logan, eyeing everybody darkly. You did as he said, placing both of your devices onto the table—you had nothing to hide. From the corner of your eye, you spotted Roman slipping his phone beneath his leg.

When he caught your gaze, his head dipped forward a bit and his eyebrows pulled together. Shut up, his eyes seemed to tell you. Even without verbalizing it, he still somehow managed to be rude to you.

You narrowed them back at him, wordlessly telling him not to worry.

“Karl, do you like the Pierce deal?” Logan queried.

“I do. Yes, I do. Yes, yeah.”

With a dry chuckle, Logan shook his head. “Bullshit. Boar on the floor.”

The two men began their back and forth—Logan commanding Karl to stand in the corner whilst the former sputtered out indignant protests. It was embarrassing and humiliating, and he was going to do it all anyway.

“Tom.”

“Me? Uh, Pierce?”

“Yes,” said an exasperated Logan.

Clearing his throat, Tom hesitantly said, “Well, there’s a lot of factors, but uhm, yes. Personally, I like it. I do.”

“Boar on the fucking floor, over there,” gruffed your godfather, pointing over to where Karl stood.

With no protest, Tom pushed away from the table and slunk off.

“Gerri! Stand up! Tell me about Pierce.”

Her gaze stayed on her untouched plate as she got onto her feet. “Well, to be perfectly honest with you… I’ve, uhm, I’ve had a few doubts.”

“Honesty,” Logan finally said. “You see, everybody? Do you see? Honesty. Greg, stand up! Did you get any orders from my brother? The fucking Conscience of the Prairies?”

Everybody watched as Greg stammered out a near incoherent response. He was sent off to stand next to Tom and Karl, as well. This seemed to be Roman’s breaking point, because he burst into a fit of giggles.

“Roman!” barked his father.

This brought him back to sobriety. “I like it, Dad, for real—”

“Stand the fuck up!”

With a bitter murmur beneath his breath, Roman got up to his feet. With discreet motions, you silently swiped the phone from his chair and placed it beneath your leg so it wouldn’t be seen by his father.

Desperate to divert the attention away from him, Roman said, “Kendall took a call from the biographer.”

Logan rested his hands upon Kendall’s shoulders, which made Roman bristle even harder. His older brother droned out, “We all got a call, Rome. Y/N, too.”

“Okay, yes, but you—you seemed like you actually wanted to talk to her.”

“To smoke you out for Dad.”

Roman’s nose wrinkled. “What? Fuck you! Why’d you get to smoke me out? I was smokin’ you out!”

As you watched Logan’s fingers curl into Kendall’s shirt, you couldn’t help but think of him as a meat puppet of sorts. So damaged and broken and directionless, ready to heed every single one of his father’s words.

“Why don’t you tell us about your mystery call?”

“Oh, the phone call?” Roman propped a hand on his hip, risking a glance at you. Then, he violently began to scratch at the back of his head. “Yeah, sure, it was Frank. He meant to call you, he wants to know if the plan to overthrow Dad is still happening. ”

Finally pulling away from Kendall, Logan’s voice rang out across the room like a slap to the face. “Someone spiked Pierce. Which one of you boars did it?”

He yelled for the three men in the corner to get down on their knees, claiming it was a game. Your godfather, now more of a monster than a man, called for everyone to get up and cheer, “Boar on the floor!” as Tom, Greg, and Karl scrambled about to eat a sausage that was tossed to them in order to prove their loyalty. He demanded they oink and squeal like real piggies would.

It was cruel and animalistic. And Roman was filming with his personal phone, a sadistic smile on his face.

You would’ve berated him for it, if not for Kendall cornering you against the wall when everybody else was distracted by the Boar on the Floor spectacle.

“I know you took Roman’s phone. I saw you,” he said, eyes flickering down to your pockets, where you had hidden away the mobile.

“Fuck off, Kendall,” you responded with a daggered edge. “You touch me, and I’ll bite your fucking head off.”

“I thought you were smarter than this,” he told you. “Defending my brother—do you know how many times he’s fucked you over? How many times he’ll keep fucking you over?”

Curling your upper lip in contempt, you spat out, “Get the fuck away from me, Kendall. What’s wrong with you?”

Suddenly, his hand shot out to grab Roman’s company phone from your pocket, prompting you to shove at him, trying to grab the phone back. The commotion caught the attention of everyone else, Roman included.

He was quick to step forward, pulling you away from his brother so he could try to yank the device away himself.

“What the fuck? Give me my fucking phone back, asshole!”

“What are you hiding? What’s the code?”

“Are you fucking serious? My code is, uhm, fuck you—”

The two of them began to tussle, arguing indistinctly as they pulled at each other’s hair and limbs. You stepped back, burying your face in your hands in utter exhaustion.

When Kendall locked Roman in a chokehold, Roman finally keyed in his PIN, shoving his older brother away with a labored breath.

“Okay, you got it! You fuckin’ happy? There’s nothing in there. Now give it back—give me my fucking phone!” When he began advancing on his brother again, Colin stepped in to keep him at bay. “What, are you going to touch me, too? Grab my fucking balls—I will drop you, you cocksucker!”

Finally, Kendall opened up Roman’s call history, not at all to see Naomi Pierce at the very top. He didn’t hesitate to tell his father.

“Dad, it was Roman. Roman talked to Pierce.”

Panic weaving through his tone, Roman shook his head. “Dad—I didn’t… I didn’t betray you.”

“Then what’s this call from today?” asked Kendall, holding up the phone. “Why are you talking to her?”

For a moment, Roman’s eyes flickered over to you. “Come on, man. I wasn’t trying to fuck the deal. I was trying to land the deal. I was trying to help—I thought it would be a… a nice surprise.”

His words struck you across the face like a slap. Roman had told you that you were right—that acquiring PGM was a terrible idea. You’d thought he was on your side. And now—it seemed like he was doing it all for his father’s favor. The best of both worlds, blew right up in his face.

“Roman,” began Logan, “you’re a moron.”

Crackling silence.

Kendall cleared his throat. “Boar on the floor?”

Having enough of him, you snapped, “Shut the fuck up, Kendall.”

“Y/N was helping him,” said Kendall. “Tried hiding his phone from the table.”

Logan swung his heated, intense gaze onto you. It took all you had within you not to flinch away.

“I didn’t know what Roman was doing. I just didn’t want to get him in trouble.”

Your godfather shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “How sweet,” he spat. “The two of you are perfect for each other. Fucking morons!”

“Dad,” said Roman, voice warbling. “I am not a moron. She isn’t, either. Y/N, tell him—tell him why you thought PGM was a bad idea.”

Everybody’s eyes were on you. Suddenly, your throat went dry, and all words flew out of your vocabulary. You shook your head, a defeated sigh falling from your lips. Roman’s shoulders drooped with the weight of shame and loss.

“How much is a gallon of milk?” Logan suddenly asked his youngest son, advancing on him until he withered beneath his father’s glare.

“What?”

“How much is a gallon of fucking milk?”

Confused beyond his mind, Roman said, “I don’t know. I mean, who the fuck knows, Dad? Literally nobody knows! Who gives a shit?”

“Greg! How much is a gallon of milk?”

The lanky man stammered out, “Uh, I mean, like, regular milk, or—?”

Burying his face into his hands, not unlike you had done earlier, Logan sighed out, “I am surrounded by snakes and fucking morons! You’re a bunch of silk-stocking fucks! Who backs me on Pierce, huh? Who?”

When he was met by silence, Kendall answered in everyone’s stead.

“None of them do, Dad. They’re all against it. Karl’s lying, Tom’s lying, Gerri’s playing both sides, Y/N is very clearly against what you’re doing.”

Hot shame curled within your gut. Though you were steadfast in your beliefs against taking PGM, disappointing your father figure was never a pleasant sensation, no matter how terrible he was.

“Uncle Logan, I’m sorry—” you began, but he was quick to shut you down.

“Don’t go sucking my dick now, girl. It’s too fucking late. You’re lucky your brainless parents are major shareholders, or I would’ve fired you a dozen times by now. Do you know that? How fucking worthless you are?”

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes. You wrapped your arms around your stomach, training your gaze onto the ground.

“Here’s the news,” Logan said, addressing the entire group now. “We are going after it. And what’s more… I will win.”

With that, he stormed off, disappearing somewhere in the vast house.

“Hey,” Roman tried to speak to you, but you maneuvered away, disappearing up some stairs, where your room was waiting for you.

It took a lot of indecisive thought, but you left the door unlocked.

To none of your surprise, Roman came crawling into your room when everybody was asleep. He slipped into the empty spot beside you, slurring out a litany of nonsensical apologies mixed in with how much of an asshole Kendall was.

“You’re drunk,” you whispered, pushing his face away. You hadn’t the heart to be angry at him. Not this late at night. Not when he was just as upset as you were about what had transpired during dinner. “Go to sleep, Rome.”

“Give me a kiss g’night. And tell me you forgive me.”

“Ro—”

“Just—just fucking do it! Don’t ask me stupid questions.”

Shifting in the bed, you leaned forward to press light kisses to both his fluttering eyelids. “We’re good, Romeo. I don’t know. I’m mad at you, but not as much as I’m mad at Kendall and your dad. I’m your only friend, remember? I love you, asshole.”

“Yeah. Shut up.” His hands curled over your waist and pulled you close. “Say that again.”

There was a laugh in your voice. “What? That I’m your only friend?”

He prodded your side with a stiff finger. “The fuckin’... the love thing.”

A part of you contemplated telling him to fuck off. But the wide, warbling brown of his irises told you that he was desperate to hear it. Desperate for any crumb of affection he was offered. “Mhm. I love you, Ro. I do. Now go to sleep.”

He lazily blinked at you, as if he was a cat. “Don’t be mad if I puke all over you.”

“I won’t be mad.”

“I’d be mad if you puked all over me. Why wouldn’t you be mad at me?”

“Go to sleep, Rome.”

“Night. You smell good, you know? Like if a unicorn had sex with a bouquet of flowers.” Without warning, he sank his teeth into your neck, and you had to physically pry his teeth from your skin to keep him from using you like a chew toy.

Muffling a yawn, you murmured, “Go to sleep before I euthanize you.”

It took him another hour to finally drift off, but when he did, the two of you slept better than you had in months.

Roman was terribly hungover the next morning. Headaches and droopy lids, barely registering your voice telling him to get up. When he finally rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he noticed that you were already dressed for the day, having gotten ready while he was passed out.

“Everyone’s waiting for you, Ro,” you gently told him, brushing his hair out of his face and then taking his hands to tug him off the bed. “Go wash up. Come on, stinker.”

He let you push him around, handing him the toothbrush and a cup of water to drink once he was done washing up. You turned to give him some privacy to change, but his fingers just couldn’t seem to button his buttons right.

“These fuckin’ things—like they’re made of soap or something—”

With a light sigh, you rotated back around. “Come here, you big baby.” You straightened out his collar before slipping the buttons through their respective holes with ease.

“Dad’s killing me. He’s cutting my fucking balls off.”

You watched him with a sympathetic gaze. “He won’t do that. He doesn’t see you as a threat.”

“That’s not the compliment you think it is.”

“I wasn’t trying to compliment you.”

Roman watched as you fastened together the last button for him, but you didn’t step away, staying close by him.

“If I was capable of any sudden movement, I would totally pounce on you right now. I like your shirt—is that a new shirt?”

“I’ve had it for four years,” you deadpanned.

“Hm. Old shirt. You should throw it out.” To his relief, you smiled at him.

Patting his cheek once, you asked, “Are you okay? How are you holding up?”

“I don’t know. I’m fucking terrible. But I should be asking you the same. Dad took a beating on the both of us.”

Memories of last night made your nose wrinkle in distaste.

“I think everyone was just… caught up in the heat of the moment. I don’t think your dad meant everything he said.” He did, you knew he did.

Shaking his head, Roman slunk away to go put on his shoes. “He thinks I’m a moron. The worst of his seed, or whatever the fuck. How am I supposed to get him to take me seriously? Grow a mustache and read the Journal? I’ll fucking do it.”

“Don’t grow a mustache. You’ll look like you came straight out of a shitty European porno.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Ignoring him, you sat down beside the disorderly man, pulling on your own dress shoes and knotting together the laces, before helping him tie his, because his fingers suddenly decided not to work this morning. “Gerri told me I should convince you to go to management training. Because, you know—tada. Your only friend is one of the company’s head managers. Lucky you.”

“What, she and Dad want you to be my teacher? Sounds like a sexual fantasy to me.”

“It probably won’t be me. Might be a lower-level manager. But I’d come to visit! Get you in the spirit of things.”

Roman snorted. “Ugh. I don’t want to go back to classes. I’ll kill myself.”

“Don’t be dramatic. Let’s at least have some breakfast first.”

A week later, Roman was enrolled into the management training program, much to Gerri’s relief. She’d thanked you for convincing him, and you told her that it barely took any effort at all. Really, he just wanted to become better in his Dad’s eyes.

You were swamped with work as usual, occasionally checking your phone to see a long strings of texts from Roman, complaining and whining about the torture they were putting him through (they made him watch a video about ethical conduct in a workplace).

When Roman called you the first time, you declined because you were in a meeting. You declined the second time as well, because you really had to concentrate on filling out important documents. By the time your phone rang again, you were in between tasks, and picked up with a grouchy, “What, Roman?”

“Yowza, who put that stick up your ass?” his voice came through. His high pitched laughter followed. “It’s fucking hell here. I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“Sorry,” you replied, pinching your brows. “It’s been terrible up here, too. I’ve got a lot of shit on my plate. This acquisition really isn’t helping.”

“Are you coming?” he asked.

Blinking, you shifted the phone in your palm. “Coming where? To your training?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Mmh, I’m sorry, Ro. I really would, but I’m just up to my head with work. But I’m proud of you! Really, I am.”

“Oh, you are? Fuck you,” he snapped.

You took no offense to his bitterness. “Fuck you back. This is good, what you’re doing, Romeo.”

“Yeah, I know—I’m gonna grow up to be a real little boy and learn the price of an egg, and do… phone sex with my girlfriend like a normo.”

Laughing, you knocked your head back with a grin. “Y’know, phone sex is more kinky than anything. If you wanna be normal, you look her in the eyes during missionary sex and tell her you love her.”

“Pfft. Yeah, right. Do people actually do that? That sounds disgusting.”

“Yes, people actually do that. Have you ever considered that you’re the disgusting one?”

“Don’t be mean, this is my first day of training, you bitch.”

From his tone, you could tell he was smiling, too.

“Seems like you’ve been complaining to me more than actually paying attention.”

“I can’t help it. The videos are too fucking long. It’s like trying to teach Beethoven how to play hot cross buns on the piano.”

You laughed, and Roman felt a certain warmth pool in his chest.

“You can do it, Ro. I believe in you.”

“Thanks, mommy,” he teasingly replied.

Your phone began to buzz with another call. “Ah—sorry, Rome, I gotta go. See you later, okay?”

Before he could say his grumpy goodbyes, you’d already hung up. To your surprise, your screen displayed the called ID of your godfather. Your palms suddenly grew clammy.

When you answered, his voice was soft and amicable—a stark contrast to what it was like in Hungary.

“Hello, dear. Hope you’re well.”

The rest of the call went surprisingly fine. Logan wanted you to go over to his office to run through some analytics and, apparently, he wanted to apologize to you in person. Mend the broken bridges, he had said. You weren’t entirely sure if there was another game he was playing at, but you couldn’t say no to him. He was your top boss, after all.

Just as you slipped through the glass doors with a hesitant smile, a loud bang sounded from somewhere on the floor. You flinched, eyes widening.

A gunshot.

Terror wrapped its dark hands around you when security guards quickly took you by the arm, guiding you around bends and corners, before finally leading you into a panic room. Logan came in behind you, looking mildly distraught.

“Are you okay?” you asked, helping him sit down and giving him a loose hug.

“Fine, fine. Where’s Siobhan? Kendall?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

When you felt down your pants for your phone, you let out a frustrated sigh when you couldn’t find it anywhere on you. You must’ve dropped it during all the commotion to get to the safe room. You settled into a seat across from Logan, watching the news on the television, your leg bouncing up and down with agitation.

A few minutes later, Shiv showed up, embracing her dad with a chaste kiss. She gave you a hug as well, cheek pressing against yours.

“Do you know what’s going on?”

“No, I don’t. Where’s Tom?”

She pulled away to call her husband, and you slumped back into your chair.

Down on ground level, Roman was still in his training class, watching his partner begin to present his idea for a new ride, when a man burst through the doors, calling out Mr. Roy!

Well, there goes his chance to pretend to be a normo.

“Just in case you get a news alert on your phone, there’s been an incident at ATN.”

Roman’s brows quirked downwards. “Is my dad okay?”

“It’s been suggested that it could be a concerted attack against the family. Do you want us to take you to a more secure location?”

“Yeah, of course I want that—get me the fuck out of here!” The guard began ushering him out of the class, down the hall to a more ‘secure’ space, which was clearly just an inventory room. “So, uh, does an attack against the family include, like, godchildren, too? Or just, uh, direct blood-related shit?”

“I don’t know yet, sir. All we know so far is that there was a gunshot in the building.”

Panic began to settle in Roman’s chest. He fished out his phone from his pants and called you. No answer.

He texted you, over and over again.

Hey Fuckface You heard about this shooting bullshit? I thought they only went for schools nowadays. Answer me Bitch Right fucking now Can you pick up? Hello Helloooooooooo 🖕 Hahaha funny joke! Now fucking pick up

It didn’t quite occur to Roman that he should probably call his siblings just yet. He was far too caught up with the idea of you lying on the ground somewhere, bleeding out to death. Certainly not a pleasant thought.

He called you again, and nearly threw his phone across the inventory—safe room when you didn’t pick up.

What the fuck Please answer me it’s not funny anymore If you’re dead I’ll kill you I’m being serious Hello? Please answer You can’t be dead it’s literally not possible

He called a third time, and there was no response. Growing increasingly worried, Roman finally called his twin sister, who responded after the second ring.

“Hey, Rome. You okay?”

“Yeah, whatever. Is Y/N okay?” he hurriedly asked, itching at the back of his neck.

“She’s fine. Here with me in the safe room. I’m fine too, by the way. Thanks for asking.”

“Fuck off, just put me on the phone with her!”

A second later, your voice came through, and Roman nearly melted onto the floor in relief.

“Hello? Rome? Are you okay?”

“You fucking bitch! What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were fucking dead! Why didn’t you answer any of my texts?”

If not for the situation at hand, you would’ve laughed at how worked up he sounded. “I lost my phone when the gunshot sounded out. Sorry, Ro. It happened so quickly. They’re saying it was a suicide. But I’m not really sure—Gerri’s filling me in.”

“So you’re, like, okay? Actually okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“Ugh, fuck you. Go to hell!” he barked into the phone, right before hanging up.

You stood, still stunned, handing Shiv’s phone back to her with a quiet word of thanks.

Curled up in the corner of the inventory room, Roman found out that he and Brian had won for best pitch for a ride in the class. He smiled a little, then followed out after his partner to make sure that he wasn’t fibbing.

“I slaughtered them, you know? Everyone in that fucking training class grovels at my feet now,” Roman told Tabitha on the phone. “They’re jealous! And that’s all there is to it. Anyways, um, how are you?”

“Good!” she told him. “I’m about to get in the bath.”

“Oh, yeah?” Roman took a long pause. “Uh, y’know, Y/N told me that phone sex is kinda… kinky. You wanna…?”

On the other side of the line, Tabitha smiled, putting her phone on speaker. “Mmh, alright. I’m making the bath real sudsy.”

“Is that because you’re dirty?”

“I am. I’m a dirty, dirty girl.”

“Yeah, you are. And I would love to fuck you.”

She laughed, light and airy. “I’m so wet for you right now.”

A long pause. Roman winced. “Uh, that’s not… well, you don’t have to be so specific.”

“I’m… being sexy?”

“Yeah, it’s just—could you not do that thing? With your voice? It’s, like, breathy and unnatural.”

Sucking in a frustrated lungful of air, Tabitha shook her head. “That’s what I sound like when I’m turned on, Roman.”

“I know, I just… I don’t like it, so—” He made his way to the bed and laid down. “Let’s just be normal. Let’s be normal. Casual.”

“Normal? Okay, I was just trying to get into it but…”

“No, I’m sorry, yeah, you’re right.” He cleared his throat, trying to lower his voice. “Um, I’m fucking you in the pussy. I’m fucking you hard.”

Tabitha pursed her lips. “Amazing. What are you gonna do next, change your water filter cartridge?”

Rolling his eyes, Roman sighed out, exasperated, “Jesus fucking Christ—oh, look at that, I’m coming! I’m coming! Ah, wow, I came! Thank you! Hooray! Bye.”

Abruptly, he hung up, not unsimilar to what he did to you earlier to you in the day. Guilt suddenly flushed through him—he probably should give you a call. Say he’s sorry.

It only took one ring for you to pick up, and he could tell that you were smiling on the other end. “Hey, Romeo. Didn’t think you had the emotional capacity to talk to me after thinking I was dead.”

Roman rubbed his left eye. “Fuck you. So are you, uh, okay?”

“You already asked me that, Rome.”

“No, like—mentally or whatever. Must’ve been scary. Ooh.” He made a ghost-esque noise, but cringed upon realizing that that probably wasn’t appropriate.

Nonetheless, you scoffed through the phone. “It was jarring, but I’ll be okay. How’d training go?”

“I mean, it’s fuckin’ bullshit but I won the stupid ride pitch thing. They should have it built.”

There was some rustling of sheets. Roman wondered if you were clambering into bed. He wondered what you were wearing.

“You really think they’ll build you the ride after your first day in management training? Don’t be stupid.”

“I’ve got money. They’ll build whatever I want them to fuckin’ build.”

“You know who you sound like? Like Joffrey Baratheon, from that show I made you watch. The one you never paid attention to unless there was a pair of tits on screen. Spoiled little shits, the both of you.”

With an affronted gasp, he said, “You can’t talk to me like that. I’m technically your boss.”

You giggled. “Don’t pull the boss card on me, Roman. You’ve slept in my bed more times than in your own. That’s fucking… that’s like power play, right there.”

“Yeah?” Roman could feel a rush of blood go straight to his dick, which began to strain against his pants. “D’you think we’d get in trouble if we ever…”

There was a long moment of silence. Static filled in Roman’s ears.

“If we what, Roman?” you asked, voice quiet.

Clicking his tongue to the roof of his mouth, Roman blurted out, “I tried the fuckin’ normie phone sex with Tabitha.”

“And?”

“She got turned on.”

“Uh, congratulations?”

“I didn’t like it.”

“Oh. Why not? You like your sex dirtier? Wrong?” You began to chuckle, but it tapered away when Roman went silent on the other end of the phone. More rustling blankets. “Oh, fuck, Roman. You’re an idiot, you know that?”

You could hear the sound of his belt unbuckling.

“What else am I?” His voice was breathy. Whiny, almost.

“This is wrong, Romeo. I can’t… you’re dating Tabitha, remember?”

“Just keep—keep talking.” When his hand wrapped around his hard dick, weeping with pearly precum, Roman wondered if he’d bust his nut right then and there.

After a few seconds of silence, you tentatively continued, “You’re disgusting, Rome. What’s wrong with you? Touching yourself to my voice when your girlfriend was left high and dry for you.”

He began to stroke himself, eyes fluttering shut. A strained moan fell from his lips. Neither of you had ever ventured this into this territory in your relationship before. Sure, sexual jokes were always passed back and forth between the two of you but this was—this was real. Wasn’t it?

“Mmh, I don’t want you to cum yet, Ro.” You clutched the phone close to your ear.

A choked noise emitted from his throat. “I can’t—I can’t hold it—”

“Hold it.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to cum with you.” More rustling on the other end as you kicked your pants and underwear down, dragging your finger around your clit.

This seemed to send Roman into another fit of whines—the thought of you fucking yourself on your own fingers to him made his mind go all hazy.

“Romey, tell me,” you whispered. “Out of all those times we slept in the same bed together—did you ever imagine fucking me while I was asleep? Like a sick little pervert?”

A groan climbed up the back of Roman’s throat. His pace slowed down, trying his best not to cum prematurely. “Yes, all the fucking time. Yes—” His words died on his tongue as he moaned again, and again, and again—

“God, Ro.” You stifled a gasp when you plunged two fingers into your throbbing cunt. It’d been a long while since you’d had the time to touch yourself—it was no surprise that you were already on the brink of an orgasm. “Have you touched yourself to me before? I’m sure you have. You sick fuck.”

The vein in Roman’s forehead popped as he bucked his hips into his fist. “Fuck, yes! Yes, please, Y/N, please—”

“Please, what?” You moaned yourself, grinding into your palm. “You wanna cum, baby? I wanna hear you make a mess of yourself. Like the dirty fucking pervert you are.”

With those words, Roman toppled off the edge, spurts of warm cum dribbling from his throbbing cock, soaking his fist with its sticky mess. He fucked himself through his high, whining with overstimulation at the sound of your own choked sighs.

Breathily, he whimpered, “What else? Please, what else? What would you do if you were here with me?”

“Mmh, if I was there, I’d make you lick your cum off of me. I’d ride your face until you pass out—oh!”

A creak of the bed as you arched your back, crying out his name, cresting over the peak yourself.

More silence. Labored breaths.

You swallowed heavily, skin glowing with a faint sheen of sweat. The haze of your orgasm was beginning to dissipate, and you were coming back to your own senses. “Fuck—I’m sorry, Ro. I don’t... I don’t think we should’ve done that.”

He blew out a shuddering breath. “Yeah, we shouldn’t have.” His chest rose and fell unevenly. “But it was fucking amazing.”

“It was.” You ran your tongue along your teeth in thought. “I’m gonna go, uhm, clean myself up, Ro. G’night.”

“Mmh. Night.”

“This doesn’t change anything, right? We’re still best friends?”

Roman screwed his lips up to the side. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Totally. BFFs for liferz, or whatever cheesy fucking bullshit you need to hear.”

You scoffed. Things would be okay with the two of you. They always worked out in the end. “See you soon, slut.”

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Romeo.”

“Mmkay, bye, fuck-face.”

With that, the call ended.

Weeks later, the Roy family was to spend the weekend with the Pierces at their family estate. You figured the reason why Logan had called you to his office right before the suicide was because he wanted you to come along and play mediator—the Pierces were a rather articulate and fanciful family. According to your godfather, they aligned much more with your and Shiv’s politics than his. It reminded you how you were nothing but a pawn on the chessboard for him to maneuver.

Regardless, you knew you couldn’t say no. Even though he knew you didn’t support the Pierce acquisition, you were a valuable asset and that could potentially be beneficial for both parties. Besides, the Pierces were a powerful family. Having them as allies would be good for you.

You were lounging on the couch beside Shiv and Tabitha when Roman strode into his father’s house, bowing down dramatically.

“How was summer camp?” she teased her twin.

“Hm? What’s that? Didn’t catch what you said. I’ve been down in the salt mines for so long with my fellow Johnny Lunchpails, I no longer speak One-Percent,” he said when he bent down to kiss Tab’s cheek.

Snorting, Shiv retorted, “You were slinging candy apples, Rome, not digging the Panama Canal.”

“I’ve seen the world for how it really is, Siobhan, and it has changed me! I’m a kettle corn shoveler, here to show you frilly clit-flickers the truth. Hullo, Y/N. You look lovely.” He patted your cheek thrice, and you swatted his hand away before the fourth. A part of you had been worrying for the past few days about your relationship with Roman. Would things change after what had happened over the phone? Or was it all just… no big deal?

To your relief, the two of you seemed to be just the same as before.

“Hey, Rome. Nice to see you’ve been so… humbled. Tell me, if I were to ask you to do my laundry, would you know how?”

Tabitha cracked up at your words and she nudged at your knee humorously.

Roman rolled his eyes, muttering something about how he wouldn’t want to touch your tighty whities anyway, and scuttled off to greet Marcia and Connor. Only then did Logan come in, Kendall in tow. His little meat puppet.

“Alright. Cars are waiting—but first, some announcements. Frank, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Logan’s right-hand man stepped forward to address the group. “As you all know, the good news is that the Pierces are entertaining our offer, but bad news—they’re inquiring about your moral character, hence this weekend.”

“They want to look us in the teeth,” gruffed Logan.

Frank nodded. “Right. They want our 24 billion, but they also want to be able to ensure the integrity of their news outlets into the future.”

“Mmh, to ensure everything goes smoothly, we’ve prepared a few do’s and don’ts for the weekend,” said Gerri, pointedly staring at Roman. “Topics to stay clear of: Ravenhead, ATN, Israel, Brightstar, and the Cruise’s rumor mill. Steer onto: gossip, investments, art, movies, literature… tittle-tattle. Wider cultural interests.”

“Oh, and two drinks maximum,” Frank added. “They’re not big drinkers.”

Tilting his head, Roman drawled, “That’s okay. Nobody here has any glaring substance abuse issues that almost brought down the company, right?” He lolled his head over to Kendall, shooting him a wink.

Logan went through a few more details about Tom and ATN and Rhea, which certainly raised a few apprehensions.

“Thanks for all your help,” said Logan. For a moment, his eyes landed on you. You wondered if he had considered that you’d purposefully sabotage this weekend to stop the deal from going through. Or maybe he knew you were his loyal lapdog, no matter how far he kicked you. Or maybe he simply wanted you there for diversity points. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. “We need this. Bagging Pierce is the key to our proxy defense. And the defense is life itself. See you at Plymouth Rock.”

Once the helicopters landed onto Pierce's land and everyone was filed out into the vast green fields, Logan turned to his group and gestured for them to smile. He’d even gone out of his way to brush a stray piece of lint off of your coat for you whilst passing by.

“I am smiling!” Roman haughtily protested when his father gave him a pointed glare.

“Yeah, not like a pervert,” said Shiv.

You grinned, laughing out, “That’s just how he looks, Shiv.”

“Hardee-har-har,” Roman spat out. Then, he watched as Logan linked arms with both Marcia and Shiv. “Wow, Jesus. Look at Papa Smurf. Should I be doing that with you guys?”

Both you and Tabitha glanced at each other, before walking onwards, flat out ignoring Roman.

The Pierce family was waiting not too far from the helicopters, greeting everyone with apprehensive yet kind smiles.

The woman who spoke had soft eyes and a round face. Not at all intimidating in stature, but you knew better than to judge a book by its cover. “Welcome to Ternhaven! Our city on the hill. I’m Nan Pierce—it’s nice to meet all of you. I think we’re going to have fun getting a look at all of you, won’t we?”

Both families drew nearer as everybody exchanged polite greetings. You shook hands with about half a dozen people, trying your best to keep up with names and faces. Once at the estate, someone had taken off your coat and offered you a glass of water before you’d even taken three steps inside.

It was certainly a beautiful home. It felt more lived-in than Logan’s houses, with its abundance of paintings and framed pictures on the walls. The furniture was warmer and cozier—a stark contrast to Logan’s preference for sharp edges and monochrome colors.

Roman came up to your side and pointed at a Latin phrase inscribed into the archway.

“In veritate triumpho,” he read aloud. “This wine is triumphant? No—your vagina trumpets!”

Passing by, Gerri sharply hushed him just as your shoulders began to shake with mirth.

“I triumph in the truth,” you told him.

“Honesty is the best policy around here,” said a dark-haired man, appearing from seemingly nowhere. You heard Roman mutter Jesus H. Christ, beneath his breath, but you discreetly pinched his side before he could say anything else. You faintly recognized the man as Peter Pierce—a cousin of Nan. He’d been overly enthusiastic with his handshake, watching you with gleaming curiosity, complimenting you on your outfit.

You weren’t blind. You knew attraction when you saw it—and Peter wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it.

“So… where’d you learn Latin?”

“Self taught,” you told him, smiling politely. “I’m not fluent. I just know a few bits and bobs here and there. Tried to learn during my college years.”

Before Peter could respond, Roman motioned gagging. “Barf. I’m gonna go see who Tabs is flirting with. See you nerds later.”

He slipped away, leaving you alone with Peter, much to your chagrin.

The man was nice enough, sure, but he was being very obvious with the way his gaze lingered a tad too long on your chest. And when it wasn’t there, he was ogling your lips. It was a bit unnerving.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, you know,” said Peter, arms crossed.

“And I know next to nothing about you,” you airily responded, trying your best to keep your smile natural, though it proved increasingly difficult with each passing second.

“Well, that can be remedied, no?” he asked.

You internally cursed at his forwardness. “Sure, yeah. Sounds great.”

And off he chattered, prattling on about his time with his company and what he studied during university, occasionally asking for your experiences as well. You only paid him half a mind, keeping the other occupied with observations of everybody else in the room. How Shiv had somehow managed to insult someone already, how Connor was talking about his presidential campaign with someone who so clearly didn’t agree with his views, and how Roman was guffawing at something Naomi and Tabitha were discussing.

“And what about the tabloids on you?”

“I’m sorry?” you asked, snapping your attention back onto Peter.

“The tabloids about you and Roman. A lot of them discuss the two of you as a pair.”

Shrugging one of your shoulders, you shook your head. “Those are just baseless rumors.” You thought back to how you and Roman jerked off to each other through the phone. Not baseless at all, it seemed. “Roman and I are friends.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

Peter smiled. A part of you felt bad for stringing him along in such a way. He seemed like a nice enough guy, if you didn’t count all the uncomfortable ogling. “I just feel like we have a connection, you know? Do you feel it, too?”

“Mmh. Yeah, I’m feeling it.” You chanced a glance to Roman, who was staring straight at you with an impish grin. He saw right through your little facade—he knew you were miserable, and he was enjoying the shit out of it.

“That’s so good to hear. I knew you were different the moment I set eyes on you.”

“Wow. You really do have a way with words. Edgar Allen Poe up in here,” you joked loosely, trying your best not to sound deadpan.

“You like Edgar Allen Poe, too? God, you’re like—fricking perfect for me. Excuse my French.” To your horror, Peter reached out to clasp your shoulder, steering you to a more quiet part of the room. “Tell me more about yourself. Things I don’t already know from the tabloids. What was it like growing up around the Roys?”

They were more of your family than your actual parents. They were the bane of your existence. They were everything to you.

Before you could vocalize any of your thoughts (or, some poor, watered-down rendition of them), Logan shepherded the Waystar side of the group into another room for a short, private talk. You let out a long sigh as soon as you were far away enough from Peter, feeling your muscles loosen up. God, that man really did make you stiff in all the worst ways.

“I think it’s going pretty well,” Roman said once everyone began filing through the door. “I mean, nobody’s fucked Nan or killed her cat by accident, so I think we’re doing pretty good.”

It seemed Logan didn’t quite agree, because he stormed up to his daughter, angrily demanding, “What the fuck did you say to Mark? Making cracks about his PhD?”

“It was a joke! He laughed.”

Frowning, Logan continued on, “He’s a yes, Shiv. He’s solid. Why are you even bothering him?”

The group began to then argue about Maxim, who Connor was supposed to persuade into the yes territory of the acquisition—which he was clearly failing.

“Cut the horseshit, know your roles!” barked your godfather. “Shiv, I want you on Nan.”

“Okay, Dad, we don’t have to be so schematic,” she protested, but her words went largely ignored.

Logan rounded on Roman, standing beside you. “Romulus. When you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn’t get you from a hyena farm.”

“Thanks, Pop,” said Roman. You frowned, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly.

“The good news is that Nan seems to be spending money in her head—but she could still be swayed by her family, so every cousin counts,” Gerri added.

“Everybody, stay in your lanes. Who’s on Peter?” asked Logan.

“I got it, Dad,” said Kendall.

Quirking a brow, Frank said, “Actually, Peter seems to be rather taken by Y/N. I think it’s a good idea for her to keep him entertained. He’s worried the rest of us are barbarians.”

You crossed your arms uncomfortably, but nodded with a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah, uh, sure.”

“Pimp her out, why don’t you,” scoffed Roman.

“Good. Everyone got their person? Let’s go, people. Stay focused, stay sharp!” barked Logan, and everyone began to pour out of the room at his dismissal.

Roman clapped a hand on your forearm. “Hey, uh, if Prickly Pete there does anything—” He made an unintelligible noise while pulling a sour face. “You know the drill. Stop, drop, and roll.”

“That’s for a fire, Ro.”

“Yeah, but it’ll freak him out enough to leave you alone.”

You spared him a sarcastic smile, shaking your head. “Great advice. Thanks.”

“No, but seriously—just say you have to go to the bathroom or something. I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

“Okay, Sauron,” you chuckled, shoving him away. “Go. Go and use your wily charms to seduce Naomi into making a terrible decision.”

It was his turn to offer you a lopsided grin. “That’s what I’m best at. Influencing women into years of regret.” With a click of his tongue and a wink, he was off.

When you turned around, Peter was already waiting for you with an expectant expression. Ugh.

This was going to be a long weekend.

The Pierces were a strange family. Who the fuck recited poetry as grace before dinner? Nonetheless, you clapped with a polite smile once Naomi was done with her little poem. Roman rolled his eyes none too discreetly and you kicked at his leg beneath the table.

On your other side, Peter didn’t hesitate to dive into yet another lengthy conversation once everybody began eating.

“I like to have three novels and a memoir going at once,” said the man with a flirtatious smile. “It’s like natural selection.”

You forced a laugh—one that sounded genuine to everyone but the Roys, who knew you well enough by now to know that you weren’t amused at all.

“Hm. I think it’s rather redundant to pit literature against each other in such a competitive fashion. Art is art is art, no?” you responded, quirking a brow as you forked a portion of salad onto your plate.

You’d hoped that your comment would deter Peter from talking more, but your challenge seemed to only invigorate him.

“A bit of healthy competition in a given field never hurt anyone. Pushes people to create better things,” he said, leaning closer to you.

“Mm, well, respectfully, I disagree. I think art—literature, especially—can blossom organically, just for the sake of it. The idea that creativity flourishes under competition is, frankly, just capitalist propaganda,” you said.

To your dismay, Peter tilted his head and quipped, “Isn’t that a bit ironic, coming from you? Goddaughter of one of the richest men in the world?”

Your eye twitched. Beneath the table, Roman nudged your foot.

“It doesn’t matter who I am. My point still stands, no?”

“I suppose we can just agree to disagree. I still enjoy reading several pieces at once… maximum efficiency, right?”

Another fake laugh.

To your surprise, Roman swooped into the conversation, “Yeah, I hear you, brother!” he chirped, trying his best to sound like an intellectual normie—he wasn’t doing a very good job, so far.

Peter spared him a glance, which made him lean even closer to you. “Are you a big reader?”

“Me? Oh. Yeah, big time.” No, he wasn’t. Roman couldn’t even remember the last time he picked up a book and read past the first page.

“Can you recommend anything Oprah isn’t pushing? Any new fiction?”

For a moment, Roman’s panicked eyes met your goading ones. He began to laugh, but cleared his throat when he realized that Peter was genuinely asking.

“Oh, right, yeah, sure I can… I, uh, rather enjoyed The Electric Circus.”

“The Electric Circus?” echoed Peter in a rather pretentious manner. “Who’s the author?”

“Oh, uh, shit! Who was it… it was uh, Timothy Lipton. Yup. That’s him.” Roman was a terrible liar. You were getting second-hand embarrassment just listening to him.

Catching wind of her brother fumbling, Shiv asked, “Yeah? What’s it about, Rome?”

“Uh, it is… about a young man making his way through the world. Except in two different time periods, so it kinda switches back and forth between—uh, yup! And—and the circus part is like, you know, a metaphor.”

Shiv narrowed her eyes. “For what?”

“Ugh. For the anxiety of modern life, Siobhan.” Roman only ever called his sister that when he tried to provoke her, or when he was exasperated with her antics. “Ask Y/N. She read the book. Ask her.”

Incredulous, you swung your gaze from your food to him, brows pulling together.

“You’ve read The Electric Circus?” asked Peter. His phone was in his palms. “I’m not seeing it on Google… Are you sure that’s what it was called?”

You began to fumble with your words, internally cursing Roman for throwing you under the bus, as well. God, he was going to owe you a million favors from now on.

“See, uhm, it was a private little thing, uh—it hasn’t been published yet, exactly. Roman and I were just, you know, we were given the pages because we, uh, we were thinking of funding the novel ourselves! So, yeah… I don’t know why Roman would go and recommend that to you when it isn’t even available to the public yet.” You spared Peter a sweet smile whilst simultaneously stomping on Roman’s toes beneath the table. He retaliated by pinching your thigh.

“Oh. I see. Maybe when it comes out we can talk about it over a cup of coffee, then.”

Roman snorted. You sent him a half-hearted glare.

“Sure. That’d be great,” you told him before the man-child on your other side could come up with a rude retort.

Thankfully, Peter was quick to move on to another topic. Something about how mediocre the movies have been getting as of late. What an asshole.

The conversation was cut off not too soon later by the white nationalist elephant in the room, as Rhea had so eloquently put it—ATN. Logan had vehemently denied sharing their fascistic beliefs, though the Pierces were clearly still skeptical of your godfather. Hell, even you were.

There was more tense silence when Logan was questioned on whether or not Tom would stay on as head of ATN. The matter was never resolved, as he excused himself with a lame excuse of his sick dog having arthritis, pulling Shiv out of the room with him.

You and Roman exchanged confused looks.

By the time they came back, Tabitha was telling one of the Pierces about her willingness to help out her friend. “I’m thinking, like, if they can’t have a baby in six months, I’m just going to offer them my womb. Why not, you know? I’m young, I’m hardy.”

“Wow, Tabs, that’s really nice of you,” you told her genuinely, sipping on some water.

“Good for you,” agreed Marnie Pierce. “I had a friend who did that, it was so great—”

And then there Peter went, butting his fat head into the conversation where it was clearly not needed. “Uh, but if it isn’t too rude of me to ask, what about you two?” He gestured to Roman and Tabitha.

The blonde woman chuckled. “Oh, you mean us planning to have a baby? No, we’re not planning for a baby, because that would require us having sex!”

“Woah!” exclaimed Roman. “Hey, now.”

Peter grimaced. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Yes, you did,” said Marnie, and Peter only shrugged sheepishly.

“No, no, no, it’s totally fine, it’s just not our thing,” Tabitha replied. “We’re kinda like eunuch besties. It works for us.”

Scratching the back of his head, Roman cleared his throat. “She’s joking. Obviously. She’s kidding. We’re actually quite relentless in that regard. Just… fuck city out here.”

You almost choked on the water you’d been sipping, the memories of a certain call you had with Roman resurfacing to the forefront of your mind.

“You okay, Y/N?” Peter asked, lightly patting your back.

“Fine. Just down the wrong pipe,” you winced. “And, you know, the idea of Roman and Tabs going to pound town doesn’t exactly whet my appetite.”

“Oh, don’t be jealous,” said Roman. “It’s unbecoming.”

Before you could snip back, the table fell quiet when Nan Pierce asked who would be taking on the company after Logan. Your godfather purposefully skirted around the topic, evading a solid name entirely.

Then, Shiv made the terrible mistake of announcing herself as the next CEO.

“Wait, uh, what’s happening?” Peter queried.

“Mmh. I think my life just ended,” Roman responded, looking every bit as shocked as you.

More flubbering from both Logan and Shiv. They were fucking themselves over, you could just feel it.

“You know what, maybe this dinner was a little bit premature. Seems like you guys are still working some things out,” said Peter.

“No, uh, this is just some family hijinks,” Kendall tried to protest.

Marcia leaned in closer to Logan to ask, “Is this true?”

That seemed to be the last straw for him, because he yelled out, “Will you stop?”

More tense silence. Your foot rested over Roman’s, which was bouncing up and down rapidly beneath your heel. His hand rested on your knee, gripping a tad too tight.

“Well. I was just thinking that it’s such a beautiful, clear night out. Mark—would you like to guide us on a little after-dinner stargaze?” Nan asked.

And with that, came the end of the dinner.

“Did you guys know?” Tabitha asked both you and Roman as the three of you pushed away from the table to head outside.

“No. No, I didn’t,” said Roman, still in shock.

You had a feeling, sure—there was no way it’d be Connor. Not Kendall, because of his recent endeavors with trying to take over the company, along with his substance abuse. It was between Roman and Shiv, and it didn’t take a genius to see that Logan didn’t think his youngest son was all that competent. That left only Shiv, after all.

“I didn’t know,” you simply said.

The three of you strode out, leaving only Shiv and Logan left in the dining room.

“Those stars were really nice,” Tabitha said, lounging on the bed as Roman aggressively rummaged through the luggage in search of his toothbrush.

He was growing increasingly agitated about the idea of Shiv taking over the company, channeling his frustrations out on the poor suitcase for not presenting him his toothbrush on a golden pedestal. With a groan and a hand carding through his hair, Roman kicked at its side, sending the bag skidding against the wall.

“Ro,” Tabitha called. “I have a meeting on Monday, and I’d really love to deal with your neuroses and talk about it and everything but, uh, if you’re gonna lose your mind in here, I might just see if Naomi would let me crash in her bed.”

The man pulled on his face. He hummed once, then twice, as if he was deliberating over something.

“Alright,” he said. “Let’s fuck.”

A disbelieving smile danced across her face. She thought he was full of shit. “Yeah, totally. We do the sex so well, so that’s a brilliant idea.”

Clenching his jaw, Roman clambered onto the bed. “Alright. Come on. Come here, you hot fucking piece of shit.”

He tried kissing her, but his nose knocked into hers the wrong way, his hand gripped at her shoulder at an awkward angle, and his lips fell onto only the upper corner of her mouth, barely even counting as a kiss.

“Woah, easy there, wolfman!” She burst into a fit of laughter, and Roman pulled away with a string of insecure apologies, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, which throbbed from the impact.

“That was awesome,” he bit out, lying face-down on the bed next to her. “I’m so fucking good at this. Sorry.”

“Yeah, you were, like, squeezing my shoulder really fucking hard—”

“Wasn’t that sexy? How I just took you? Bet you orgasmed like five times in a row.” Roman rubbed at his eyes. “Do you want to, though? Like actually?”

She smiled. “Mmkay. Do I want to…? Make love?”

He frowned. “Nope. Wow. I just—” A groan and a sigh.

Features softening, Tabitha reached out to rub at Roman’s back. “Hey. I’m not… uninterested in solving you.”

Roman turned to face her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think we can make it, like… I don’t know… wrong?”

Tabitha was supposed to be dead. Which—and Roman thought this was quite obvious—meant that she wasn’t supposed to be wet. Now, there were a million and one ways for them to have sex and have it be wrong (like how it felt with you, maybe), but he’d suggested for her to play dead because… well, because he didn’t want it to feel like he was having sex with her.

The very thought of fucking Tabitha didn’t sit quite right with him. He liked her a lot, and she was fucking hot as shit, but Roman just… couldn’t. He just couldn’t! Maybe she was right. Maybe they were better off as eunuch besties.

And so it came as no shock to both parties when the dead woman sex didn’t end up working out. Tabitha murmured that the morgue was closing for the night—and that she’d go wank off in the bathroom with her electric toothbrush as a makeshift vibrator. Roman apologized to her again, and curled up in the middle of the bed.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he have sex with his girlfriend, like any other fucking person would?

After five minutes of wallowing in his own shame, Roman dragged himself off the bed and did what he knew how to do best: he ran straight to you.

When there was a knock at your door, you were ninety percent sure it was Roman. The other, more terrified, ten percent anxiously wondered if it was Sleazy Pete coming to talk your ear off some more about the latest developments in artificial intelligence.

To your relief, it was Roman, clad in a loose white shirt and soft, dark pants.

“Hey, Romeo,” you greeted, pulling him in and glancing out the hallway, making sure nobody was around to see. “Man, am I glad to see you. I was really scared you were somebody else.”

He made a high-pitched, humorous noise, crossing his arms as you softly shut the door closed. “Peter? Oh, no. He’s too high and mighty to come chasing after you so early. He’s the kind to date the same person for ten years, accidentally cum inside one time and knock them up, which then keeps them chained to his side for the rest of his life. You’re good for now.”

“For now?” You were ready to make another quippy retort, when you noticed the way Roman scuffed his bare feet into the carpet, hand scratching at the back of his head. Something was bugging him. “What’s going on? What happened?”

“Huh? Nothing happened. Fuck off.”

Biting at the inside of your cheek, you reached out to him, holding both his hands within yours. “Rome.”

He parroted your name in an equally emphatic manner.

You sat down on the bed, steering him to sit beside you. “Is this about Shiv?”

Oh. Right. He’d been so caught up with his guilt and shame over Tabitha that he’d momentarily forgotten about that other part of his life that was just majorly fucked over.

Roman shrugged. “She fucked up bad, huh?”

You laid down, which prompted him to follow you, his head leaning on your shoulder. The two of you stared up at the ceiling together.

“We all make mistakes. I think your dad probably led her on with a carrot painted with faux gold. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Your long-time friend made a noise of agreement.

Comfortable silence stretched thinly between the two of you. Roman faintly noticed that your hair was damp—you’d probably taken a shower after the walk. After inhaling sharply, he caught a whiff of your body spray: sweeter than fucking cotton candy and it almost made him want to puke. Key word being almost—Roman rather liked the smell. Especially on you.

“You smell good.”

“Mmh. Thanks.”

You arched your back, bones popping with your movement as you mumbled under your breath sleepily. Something within Roman stirred.

“I tried to have sex with Tabitha.”

Suddenly, you weren’t all that sleepy anymore. “Oh? How’d it go?”

“I…” Roman winced. Saying it out loud made it sound so much worse, for some reason. “I pretended she was dead.”

“What?” There was a mildly shocked laugh to your tone.

“Consensually!” he vehemently tacked on. “But, you know, she was fuckin’ dripping for me, so… took the experience away, I guess. I don’t know. I like her a lot. I just don’t… I don’t…”

“You don’t want to have sex with her?”

Another shrug. Roman blew out a drawn-out exhale. “Yeah. I dunno.”

“That’s okay, Rome. You don’t need to have sex if you don’t want to, and you shouldn’t feel bad about not wanting it. That’s literally the definition of consent.”

A part of Roman seemed to melt with your words. Your affirmation that there wasn’t something wrong with him (or, at least that one trait of his, he knew there were several other parts of him that you’d consider highly immoral) relieved him more than he’d care to admit.

“Well… I do want it. I just don’t want it with her, maybe?” His voice went all soft yet high-pitched at the end of the question.

Suddenly, you turned your head to him, your nose only a hair’s breadth away from his.

“Well, Ro,” you began, husky and low, “who would you want it with?”

He didn’t need to say it. You knew already.

“Who do you want to touch you?” you murmured, hand reaching out to skim over his chest, his stomach, grazing over the very top of his pants and toying with the band of his boxers. “Who do you want to make you feel good, Romeo?”

A low whine caught within his throat when you leaned forward to kiss up the column of his throat, nipping at the skin lightly. All of his sanity seemed to fly straight out the window when your hand dipped within his boxer, tugging out his semi-hard cock, languidly stroking along the length. He moaned, chest rumbling with the sound.

Your eyelids hung low as you nosed along his jaw, which strained with how hard he was clenching his teeth. “Mmh, you’re a dirty little pervert, aren’t you? Sneaking away from your girlfriend to rut your pretty cock against me. You’re a mess and I’ve barely even touched you, Rome.”

It’d been so long. So fucking long since someone touched him this way. Since he’d let someone touch him like this. Since he wanted someone to touch him like this. It was all you. Just you, and only you.

And so, it was no wonder that he was nearing his orgasm already, twitching within your grasp as he whined louder. He murmured unintelligibly, pleading for something he didn’t yet know.

“Can you be a good boy and cum for me?” you susurrated, planting kisses over his jaw, his cheek, the bridge of his nose. You didn’t dare kiss him on the lips—you weren’t quite sure if that would be too far for your peculiar relationship.

When he came, a loud groan erupted from his throat, which was quickly muffled when you clapped a palm over his mouth, his eyes flew open to meet yours, pupils fully blown, almost eclipsing the molten brown of his irises. You stroked him through his orgasm, murmuring a mixture of degradations and praises all the way.

You pulled back when he began to jerk his hips away with overstimulation, panting against your palm. The sticky spend on your hand glistened beneath the lamp’s warm-hued light, and you brought it up to your face to kitten-lick his cum off his fingers, humming in satisfaction. The sight nearly made Roman pass out. He swallowed hard, propping himself up on the bed on an elbow.

Voice hoarse, he croaked out, “Thanks. Do you, uh… do you need…”

Yes. You wanted it so badly—you wanted him.

But you knew Roman wasn’t really in the right mindspace to reciprocate anything at the moment. And the guilt that weighed heavy in your stomach would’ve only been worsened if you’d pressured him into anything that he might’ve been uncomfortable with.

Baby steps. The two of you had been taking baby steps in your relationship ever since you were, well… babies.

“I’m fine, Rome,” you told him, ignoring the drenched throbbing between your thighs and crawling up next to him to lay down. “You can repay me in the future.”

The haze from his orgasm was beginning to clear away. Roman’s nose buried into your sweet-smelling hair. “With, like, a fuckin’ Baskin Robbins coupon or my tongue up your vagina?”

A soft laugh and a shake of your head. “Both sound wonderful,” you told him, curling up into his warmth. A wave of sleepiness overtook you. It’d been a really long day. “Night, Rome.”

“Night, fuck-face.”

You might’ve simply hallucinated it in your sleep-addled mind, but you could feel a faint brush of lips on your forehead, along with a whisper of thanks. You fell asleep with a smile on your face that night. Roman had taken a picture (with the flash on, which made for quite unflattering lighting) and sent it to you the next morning, giggling his amusing hyena-giggle while the two of you were in the bathroom—with you brushing your teeth and him perched up on the toilet seat lid. It was a tender moment of picturesque domesticism—a life that didn’t quite seem right for the two of you, unless it was with each other.

The rest of the weekend at the Pierce’s estate was uneventful. Everybody had gone home thinking the deal wasn’t going to go through—Shiv had told you her dad fucked everything by refusing to name her as the next CEO.

But, to everyone’s surprise except Logan’s, Nan Pierce ended up calling only a few hours later that she’d sell. You weren’t quite happy with the turn of events, but you supposed that’s just how it was with Logan.

He always won.

Argestes, a business conference for important folk all over the world, was just under a month later. It was a rather prestigious event, the itinerary always decked with the most ludicrously rich and fanciful activities, with only limited invites handed out.

This was to be your sixth annual year attending.

You arrived with Roman practically draped over you, much to the press’ delight. After he made a snide comment about how manipulative you could be when it came to business, you bid him adieu, off to fraternize and mingle with potential allies you might need in your pocket. You were just grateful not to bump into Peter Pierce—the last thing you wanted to do was have him glued to your side for the rest of the weekend.

The next day, when you’d just barely stepped out of your room, you got a frantic text from Roman. It was a link to a journal article about the cruise incidents, followed by a series of question marks and an indiscernible mash of emojis. The last text gave you the room he and his family were in.

You rushed off to meet them there, checking your constantly buzzing phone along the way to see texts fly from dozens of people: Shiv, Gerri, your colleagues, your friends, your coworkers alike. This wasn’t a good look for the company, that was for sure.

When you finally got there, Roman quirked a brow at you. “Have you read this? Tell me this isn’t the greyest shit you’ve ever read.”

“Give me a second, I’ve barely even woken up, much less had time to read the article.” You settled in beside him, opening up the link to begin reading. From across the room, Logan was skimming through a physical copy, glasses on the very tip of his nose as he mumbled under his breath. Shiv was on the other end, waiting for everyone to finish reading.

Finally, you reached the end of the article, slumping back with furrowed brows. “This is, uhm, serious stuff but it’s also really unclear what’s actually being thrown at the wall here.”

“Maybe this, maybe that bullshit,” Roman uttered.

“Rome, careful,” said Kendall.

“Is this one of those things I need a woman to explain to me why it’s bad?” His head knocked into yours. “You tell me—is it bad?”

Offering him a shrug, you huffed out a sigh and scrolled all the way back up to read it again. “It’s bad, it’s fucking awful someone had to go through this—but in all honesty, I expected far worse for a journal article to blow up this much.”

Growing frustrated, Logan ripped his glasses off. “What’s the protein?”

A man you only faintly recalled as Hugo Baker, part of the Parks and Cruises sector, replied, “They found a woman, Keerson. She was working the cruises back in the mid nineties, and name-checked Lester McClintock.”

Gerri nodded. “She says Uncle Mo asked for sex with her and the other dancers to get their contracts renewed.”

“So they fucked?” Logan asked.

“It says sexual exploitation,” clarified Shiv.

“Said subject of the article is dead,” you chimed in. “So the blame on Mo will effectively be shifted onto Waystar. Negligence of ethical conduct, cruise malpractice, so on and so forth.”

A moment of silence filled the room.

“Well, what can we do about it?” Roman queried.

Gerri said, “There’s not a lot of specifics. It’s not detailed. Cold hard facts: it’s one woman in the nineties, not twenty women four years ago.”

This made Kendall’s face sour, as he pulled the bill of his cap down lower over his face. “Great. I’m glad we’re so good at doing victim math.”

“Yeah, well, Gerri’s just saying it doesn’t necessarily punch through,” Shiv defended.

The older brother gestured to his phone. “Sure, but… this is not okay.”

“We know it’s not okay, that’s why we’re preparing a corporate response,” the redhead bit back.

The conversation moved on to PR, which Gerri claimed to be Preston. This was met with Shiv’s vehement disapproval—they were three disgusting, old white dudes who, in her words, would just claim the women to be money-grabbing sluts.

“Call me sociopathic but isn’t this a tiny bit quaint in comparison to the past few years?” asked Roman.

You bit down on the inside of your cheek in thought. “I think they’re hyperfixating on this right now because they see it as a gap in the chainmail. Mo is dead. He’s not around to bear the weight of blame on his shoulders.”

“We’re being punished for the sins of others,” claimed Logan. “No one real gives a fuck.”

You narrowed your eyes at the hot take.

For once, you seemed to agree with Kendall when he shook his head. “No, no, we can’t be seen to minimize. I think we need to loudly and quickly say that this is not okay.”

“The question is, what would make it go away the fastest? Do we say it’s something and fix it, or say that it’s nothing and fuck off?” Gerri asked.

“Something,” pushed Kendall. “There has to be consequences.”

To your frustration, Shiv shook her head. “Nope. Condemn and move on. It’s just good advice.”

“Not to be the only frilly-pink feminist in the room, but this isn’t something to sweep under the rug. It may not seem that serious at first glance because of the vagueness but a few dozen women’s lives were ruined, and that’s just barely what we know because of the NDAs. If we ignore it now, it’ll come back to bite the company in the ass later down the line. The least we can do is compensate them, no?” you said, crossing your arms.

Sinking into a wooden chair that creaked beneath his weight, Logan threw his hands up. “This is bullshit. It’s all about me! It’s not real, it’s not honest. They don’t give a flying fuck for these poor bitches. They hate me! And I won’t be giving them the satisfaction of giving in. So no—condemn and move on.”

You wanted to bury your face in your hands and scream. But you didn’t. You stood still and expressionless.

They started discussing the panel for later that day. The original plan was for it to be Kendall and Roman up there, but having a woman up there would be much more… fitting given the well-timed article’s release. Shiv haughtily refused, but softened upon her dad asking her if she would.

She’d think about it.

And with that, the group began to file out.

The hours trickled on by and before you knew it, there was only ten minutes until Roman and Kendall were supposed to go up for the panel. You were helping Rome rehearse through what he was supposed to say, even though you didn’t agree with the direction they were taking with simply condemning—it was better than not addressing it at all.

It was all going smoothly until Shiv burst through the doors, declaring that she wanted to be up there for the panel, much to both Kendall and Roman’s dismay.

“Come on, man. It’s panicky as fuck,” said the eldest of the three. “It looks… kind of fucking cheesy, to be honest. Like we’re throwing our token woman at it? The woman who’s not even in our company?”

“Well, it can’t be two men up there right now. It just—it can’t. Right?” Shiv rounded her gaze to you, and you shrugged half-heartedly.

“I don’t know, Shiv.”

Standing up, Hugo suggested, “Well, the audience is just expecting Roys, so—maybe we stick at two and someone relaxes.”

Logan’s gaze fell on his youngest son. “Romulus.”

“What? You want to pull me? That—that looks like a humiliation,” your friend heatedly defended.

“We could just say you got sick,” Hugo said.

Both you and Roman made eye contact and you nodded at him to defend himself.

“No. No, you can’t just fuckin’ bump me ten minutes before the panel. That’s bullshit! Fuck that. Respectfully, dad, why is Shiv even here?” he hissed.

“I was invited,” Shiv replied in a serrated tone.

Roman crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, no, I need to be out there. We need to hang together. You know, like, family.”

Rolling her eyes, Shiv drew herself to her full height. “Oh, so you wanna get Connor on the line, get him to come down here, too? Let him dog-pile on so no one’s nose gets put out of joint?”

“I’ll put your nose out of joint!”

“Oh, yeah, you should say that on the panel—!” Shiv pursed her lips. “If you wanna know what I really think—I think you should drop both of them and I’ll do it solo.”

This time, you were quick to say, “Shiv, I love you, but you’re not part of the company yet. To shove you up there alone would look like fucking… empty wokeness. Like we’re smothering the problem with estrogen and calling it a day.”

Roman nodded. “Pretty desperate, Shiv—exploiting the situation for personal gain, hm?”

The three siblings bickered some more until it grew quite cumbersome and repetitive.

Two minutes until the panel.

Logan held up three fingers, and that was the end of that.

The panel was… certainly a panel.

It was a lot of dancing around the subject between Kendall and Shiv. You were pretty sure Roman had only said a grand total of two short sentences.

“We’ll do whatever it takes, you know? We’ll do whatever anyone wants,” he had said.

From where you were watching on a screen backstage, you face-palmed with a sigh.

By the end, Shiv had made the fatal mistake of implying that Logan should step down from his position, going so far as to call him an old dinosaur.

It was a shitshow, painted over with glitter and rainbows. In all honesty, it was an embarrassment to even associate yourself with the company at this point. There went all your business schmoozing and fraternizing for the past two days—right down the drain.

“Nice. Bring your daughter to the slaughter. Did you tell the old dinosaur what you were going to do?” Roman asked his twin once the three siblings returned to the room you were in.

“Hey, I’m sorry, ‘We will do whatever anyone wants?’ What the hell was that?” Kendall asked.

Shrugging, Roman clapped both his hands on your shoulders from behind, squeezing your tensed muscles. “Fuck it, right? It’s just words. There’s no press, anyway. Who gives a shit?”

It was then that Logan walked in, Marcia and Gerri in tow. Roman’s hands slipped away from you to go pour himself a drink and stand by his father.

“It was too much, Siobhan,” said their stepmother. “Dinosaurs?”

Ducking his head, Kendall nodded. “It was over the line. Shiv was over the line.”

Brows cinching, Shiv protested, “Oh, I think it was pretty clear that I was talking about—”

Roman interrupted after taking a long sip of champagne. “No, it was clear, yeah. You tortured the old dinosaur. Barbecued him alive—!”

In a blink of an eye, Logan swung around and back-handed his son straight across the jaw, bellowing out, “Don’t fuck with me!”

The hit rang loud and true across the room. Flesh on flesh, skin on skin, father to son, boot to dog.

Roman fell back with a muffled noise, and you were immediately shooting out of your seat to curl a protective arm around him, placing yourself between him and his aggrieved father. Commotion sprung out—Kendall vehemently yelling at Logan not to touch his brother as if he were a valiant hero, Gerri trying her best to quell the situation with reassuring words.

But all the noise was drowned out in your ears. It was just you and Roman.

It was like you were children all over again, watching with watery eyes as young Roman tried his best to pick himself up after Logan’s frequent beatings. You hadn’t even noticed that your eyes had welled up with a warbling film of stinging tears, heart slamming against your ribcage with staggering, uneven jolts.

He hunched over, working his jaw and spitting into his palm a second later.

A tooth fell past his lips, flecked with blood and spit. You could feel your lips twitch downwards as you tried your hardest not to cry.

Kendall flanked to his left, his hand on his brother’s shoulder, and Shiv stood in front of him.

“Rome—you alright?” they both asked. “You okay?”

He worked his jaw again, then shrugged off Kendall’s hand. He was in no mood to be coddled by anyone but you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fucking fine! Just fucking—leave me alone. I’m fine.” As you began to lead him away, he called over his shoulder. “It’s just a tooth. I’ll get another one.”

Once it was just the two of you in the hallway, Roman dropped the act. It hurt like hell, and he felt safe enough around you not to have to put up a front.

You tugged him into your room with a mildly haunted expression, fingers gripping far too tightly into Roman’s arm. He walked into the bathroom to rinse his mouth out. The water ran a dark shade of pink.

As he gingerly began brushing his teeth with a spare toothbrush you handed him, you studied his reflection. He stared back, hating how worried you looked for him.

“You want me to call a medic?” you asked, voice small. “There’s a few on site.”

Roman squinted at nothing in particular, humming. His tongue ran along the part of his gums that throbbed the most. It tasted like copper. A familiar taste. Nostalgic, even.

“No.”

“Do you need to be alone?”

“Fuck, no.”

You rolled a tissue into a tightly-packed bundle, telling him to bite down on it to stop the bleeding. He did as you told, but not without complaining about it tasting like ass. It actually tasted like nothing, but Roman wanted to make you smile. He hated seeing you so worked up.

With that, the two of you made your way out of the bathroom. You made him sit down on your bed and wrapped your arms around him, clinging onto him like a koala to a tree trunk. The both of you slowly kicked off layers of your clothes, trying your best not to break hold of each other in the process. Shoes first, then jackets, then pants, then button-ups.

You were left in a dark short sleeve and your underwear, and he’d tossed off all his clothes except his boxers.

“The Argie awards are in an hour,” said Roman. His lips brushed against your collarbone as he rested his forehead onto the slope of your shoulder.

“I wouldn’t have stripped down to nearly nothing if I was planning on going.”

“You’re gonna miss dinner. You’ll starve to death—and you won’t be allowed to blame me for it.”

“I have a banana somewhere in here. Plus—room service is only a call away.”

“Mmh. Mmkay.”

The tooth was still curled inside his clenched fist.

“Wait,” you murmured against him, crawling off his lap to grapple for your wallet that you’d left on the nightstand. Roman murmured unhappily at the loss of warm contact, rubbing his palms up and down your legs. “I don’t really carry cash around these days but… I always keep a few spare coins in here.”

He watched as you fished through the slits, brandishing first a dime, then a nickel. Another dime.

Then you pulled out a quarter, grinning widely.

“I’m supposed to slip this under your pillow while you’re sleeping, but I have a feeling you’re not gonna let me get up for the rest of the night,” you whispered, crawling back to him and throwing a leg over his waist. He curled his own legs around you as well, leaning his weight into you. His head throbbed, his jaw throbbed harder, his heart throbbed the most.

The cool metal of the quarter fell into his free hand. Then, he unfurled his fist. You stared down at the bloody tooth with unsure eyes.

“You have pretty teeth,” you told him after snapping out of your initial frozen state, pressing your nose into his uninjured cheek. “Even when we were kids, you had the prettiest pearly whites.”

Roman smiled, even though it ached to. “I remember you chased me around for my tooth once. Like a fucking freak.”

“Hm. You loved it, Romey.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” he said, trying his best to be dismissive. Then, he craned his arm to place the tooth on the nightstand.

You yawned, and he followed closely after you.

“It’s only eight at night. We’re falling asleep at fuckin’... fucking granny hour,” he grumbled.

A giggle, cut off by another yawn. “I don’t blame us. It’s been a long day. Sweet dreams, Romeo.”

“Night, fuck-face.”

“You know I love you, right?” you whispered. A light kiss to his throat as he swallowed.

“Obviously. You’re infatuated with me. Obsessed, even.”

If one was infatuated-slash-obsessed with the other, it’d most certainly be Roman.

You hummed and grinned into him. You didn’t deny his words, merely huffing with amusement. “I’m going to take your tooth and sell it on EBay for a hundred bucks.”

I’m fucking in love you, he wanted to scream.

“Fuck off,” he said. “It’s worth a million bucks at least. Shut up—stop fucking smiling, you freak. Go to sleep.”

You settled against him some more, and drifted off a few minutes later, listening to his heart beat from his throat.

You weren’t entirely sure what had transpired during the last few hours of Argestes, but there was one thing made clear: Nan Pierce had called off the acquisition entirely. You had no idea what to think of the entire situation anymore. You were just… tired of it all.

Not long after, a team had called you in to record a video message for Logan’s big fiftieth anniversary at Waystar. You were given very little time to figure out what to say, and so your message was short and sweet:

“Hey, Uncle Logan. I think we all owe you a bit of gratitude for giving half a century of your life to the large, ever-expanding field we call media. You’ve always been a constant figure in my life—heh, more constant than my own parents. I couldn’t imagine where I’d be without you. Congratulations, and I look forward to the next fifty years working by your side.”

It wasn’t over the top, and only slightly sugar-coated with falsities.

Once you stepped out of the recording booth, Roman shot you a grin. “Cocksucker,” he teased. “There you go—something you and Rhea can bond over.”

You prodded his chest with stiff fingers. “Shut up,” you fondly told him.

“How’d you even get all that in one fucking take? They had me say ‘I love you, Dad’, like, ten times in a row.”

Before you could retort back, the two of you bumped into Shiv, who was typing away furiously at her phone.

“What do you guys reckon—you think Dad is boning Rhea?” she asked.

With a snort, Roman strode away to pour himself a cup of coffee. “Can’t wrap my head around that. Too steamy. Too hot.”

“You are a walking Freudian complex, you know that, Ro?” you asked him, bumping his hips with yours so he’d move over as you fixed your own drink. “I don’t wanna think about it, honestly. Who my godfather fucks is really none of my business.”

“You’re just jealous. You want daddykins all to yourself!” said Roman in a sing-song voice, which made you purposefully step onto his toes. “OW!”

The hot coffee jostled over the rim of his cup and some of it sloshed onto his chest. He sent you a glare and you kissed his cheek with a sweet smile before moving off to sit next to Connor.

“Yeah, yeah, but we should, like, talk about what this means. We’re… we’re all sensing the shift, right?” asked Shiv.

“Gerri says she’s the new thing,” said Roman as he took a seat beside you, obnoxiously leaning back to drape both his legs over your thighs.

Connor lifted a shoulder in a shrug. “Well, it just so happens that Gerri was the new thing a while back.”

“Mmh—Logan made it clear that she was more or less there as a placeholder,” you said, sipping on your cup, watching the siblings over the rim. “Come on—there’s no way Logan is handing the company over to a woman, much less a woman older than fifty. It’s a shame, because Gerri really could’ve been a great CEO had she been given an actual chance.”

It didn’t go past your notice to see Shiv’s face contort with dismay at your words. Not too long ago, she’d been under the impression that Logan was handing the company over to a woman—her.

“I just think we need to be careful,” she said.

“Awh, what’s wrong? You all wedgied up because Rhea stood on your back and worked your arms like an elliptical?” asked Roman, which made both you and Connor snort with amusement.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying, we should probably have a plan. You know, in case Dad does something rash.”

It was then that Connor was called away to record his message, and Kendall sauntered in just a minute later. His jacket and pants were noticeably rumpled and a pair of sunglasses sat on the bridge of his nose. Only assholes like Kendall would wear sunglasses indoors.

“Hey, what’s up?” he greeted everyone.

“You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday—you want us to think you got laid. Nice try.” Both you and Roman giggled like schoolgirls, which only had the older man rolling his eyes.

“Well, have fun discussing killing Rhea—” you began.

“There wasn’t anything about killing—” protested Shiv.

“I’m gonna head out. Gotta get some work done before the flight to Dundee. Which, is so fucking over the top, by the way. Even my parents are going for this. They weren’t there for any of my birthdays in the past twenty years, but sure, let’s go to Uncle Logan’s celebration for his fiftieth year working at Waystar.” You nudged Roman’s legs off of yours so you could stand up.

Rome’s eyes widened. “Your parents are coming? Damn. Rhea really went all out, didn’t she?”

You frowned. “Feels more like a personal affront to me than anything. Not looking forward to seeing them, but whatever. See you guys later.”

They all murmured their farewells and you patted Roman’s knee softly before heading out.

Dundee was cold. So cold that you had to wear two layers of thermal socks, and your toes were still cold. Roman made fun of you the entire way into the hotel room, joking about icicles forming beneath your chin.

Once you were finally inside, you cranked your heater up as high as it could go, shedding all your layers off with a grateful moan. It’d been a long flight, and you were exhausted.

Roman laid down on your bed, lazily turning his head to follow your movements as you flitted to and fro around your room, unpacking your essentials.

“There’s better ways to warm up than hanging your wrinkled button-ups,” he quipped. One of his brows quirked upwards in an almost seductive manner.

You laughed at that, fishing out articles of clothing from your luggage. “You’re all bark and no bite, Roman. Besides—you literally brought Tabitha to this event. Where even is she, anyway?”

With a shrug, he remarked absentmindedly, “Oh, she’s off exploring all the joys of Scotland.”

“So… grass and sheep?”

He laughed his hyena-laugh. “Yeah, grass and sheep.” Then, he propped himself up on an elbow to face you properly. “Did you bring a date?”

“Ugh. Didn’t want to bring one. Not with my parents coming. It’ll be a nightmare.”

Something in Roman’s eyes softened. “I would’ve been your date if, uh, if I hadn’t already asked Tabs. To be fair, I asked her before I knew about your parents. I can kick her back to America right now if you ask.”

You paused in your ministrations. “Stop it. I like Tabs. She’s nice. And I wouldn’t have wanted you to be my date out of pity, anyway.”

Roman lifted his shoulders in a slow shrug, lips pursed. “It wouldn’t be pity if I wanted to.”

A beat of silence.

You blew out a sigh. “I’m really here for the image. I’ll say hi to my parents, and then avoid them for the rest of the night.”

“I can help you with avoiding them.”

“Hm?”

“Gerri wants me to secure funding for Waystar to go private. As a… back up plan, in case everything combusts into fuckin’ flames. She wants me to target Eduard. Seduce him, or whatever. You can come with—butter him up with all your oozy corporate rank and that—that pretty face on your face. He wouldn’t be able to resist if we double-combo him.” Roman shot you a lopsided smile that only lifted one corner of his lips. You pushed away the urge to coo at the fact that he called your face pretty. “Or… you can flit around with all of Dad’s cocksuckers and awkwardly bump into your parents two hundred times before the waterworks break out and you make an embarrassment of yourself in the middle of the celebration.”

Done with putting away your clothes, you made your way to the bed and sat down beside him, your shoulder pressed up flush over his.

“You’re a lifesaver, Rome. Yeah, of course I’ll come.”

“Yeah, yeah. You can repay me with a blowjob.”

You laughed, but a small part of you wondered if he was serious.

“Any other ways I can repay you? None that could, uhm, potentially warrant a lawsuit?”

Roman scratched at his chin in thought. “Yeah, actually—what if we got, like, married?” His voice went all soft and high-pitched. Lilting. Tentative.

Your eyes widened at first, then narrowed thinly. “What?” you asked, partially incredulous. He was joking, right?

Right?

“Not like—” He gestured aimlessly. “Not like that. Not actual marriage. Like something equivalent to that—like me chaining you down in the basement, or something. Like me kidnapping you and keeping you hostage.”

“Romeo, what the hell are you talking about?” You sat forward, your face all the closer to his. “In what world is that equivalent to marriage?”

Nervous anxiety clawed within his stomach. “Jesus Christ, I’m not talking about marriage. Just something on that fucking level of us being tied together. I don’t know, you chop off my dick, I chop off your tongue, whatever the fuck. You know, like, you eat me, I eat you—like they do in Germany.”

You were pretty sure that’s not what they did in Germany.

“You know what I mean.” His eyes were pleading, asking you for something you weren’t quite sure of.

“I… I don’t think I do?” You took one of his hands. “Rome, what’s going on? You’re being… weirder than normal. Did something happen with Tabitha?”

Because he was in love with you and he had no idea how to say it.

The answer to Roman was simple: he just wouldn’t.

Hastily, Roman pulled away from your touch. He rolled off the bed in one single motion, almost tumbling over his own feet as he scrambled to the door. He tried to ignore your crestfallen expression watching him put more distance between the two of you.

“No, nothing happened with Tabitha. Just, uh—just think about it. I’ll text you the details to meet Eduard. Bye!” He was already halfway out the door with his last word.

You screwed your lips to the side in puzzled exasperation, and blew out a heavy sigh.

The pub was nearly empty, save for a snogging couple near the back, and a few scattered about the seats casually sipping their ale as they watched the soccer match on the mounted television above the bar. Amongst them was Eduard, standing out like a sore thumb with his crisp suit and his dark, slicked-back hair. Just the sight of him seemed to cost money.

“My God, you smell like cotton candy—I almost want to lick your neck. Don’t you want to lick his neck, Y/N?” Roman asked instead of greeting him like any regular person would.

You shot him a half-hearted glare before sticking your hand out. Roman had always been one to overstep boundaries. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Asgarov.”

“Oh, please, Eduard is fine. And the pleasure is all mine,” he languidly drawled, eyes darting up and down your form as a pleased smile curled the corner of your lips. He firmly clasped your palm in a handshake. “I’ve heard much about you—general manager… the glue of the company, some people say. But Roman never mentioned that you were so beautiful.”

A large part of Roman’s insides bristled with hostility, an emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but he plastered on a strained smile anyway. “Yup, yeah, forgot to mention. But, uh, yeah, thanks for coming, man. My dad’s going to be very pleased when he sees old friends and whatnot…” He waved the bartender over to order himself a pint, and added on a non-alcoholic beverage for you—he knew you didn’t like to drink during the day. Then, he caught sight of the television. “What’s this? Who’s playing?”

“Scottish,” replied Eduard, taking a sip of his own beer. “I’m thinking of getting in.”

Your eyebrows raised a notch. “Mmh, smart choice. Lots of buried money in European soccer leagues.”

Eduard spared you a warm smile.

A frown crossed Roman’s features—he was starting to regret inviting you, even though he’d been the one to suggest you flirt him up.

“Scottish kicky-ball,” he remarked. “Looks like two eunuchs trying to fuck a letterbox.”

His foul comment went largely ignored by the two of you.

Eduard was certainly an attractive man, you thought once you watched his tongue draw out to run along his lips in thought. “I’m liking the look of Hibs,” he said, eyes trained on the television, flitting down to glance at you for a second. “Or Hearts. I’m undecided.”

“Hearts?” asked Roman. “That’s my dad’s team. The only childhood relic he can stomach.”

Hazy memories of seven-year-old you peeking over the expensive leather couches to see what your godfather was watching on screen came across your mind. It always cycled through the same three channels: ATN, soccer, and old black-and-white English films from the fifties. You never stayed for long, always darting out of the room in fear of him turning to see you there, watching along with him. But from the little that you did catch a glimpse of—you could only barely recall the green insignias and jerseys of the Hibs on the screen.

“I think he was a Hibs fan, no?” you asked, thanking the bartender when he slid your drink over.

Roman scoffed. “Pfft—I think I’d know which team dad likes.” You didn’t bother trying to argue with him. After all, your childhood memories weren’t exactly the most reliable source.

With a half-minded hum, Eduard said, “I’ve got an agent in Spain. I buy the club, he loans me nine shit-hot players. Climb the ladder, take the second Champion’s League space, UEFA goes full European super-league, flip it, walk away.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds fucking slick, dude,” Roman replied, sipping on the frothy part of his drink. “Slicker than cum on a dolphin’s back.”

“You want in?” asked Eduard.

“Mmh, maybe. But before all that—can we talk about what we talked about before? You know, a major injection, or even taking us private. Have you talked to your dad?” asked Roman.

A smile and a nod. “It’s a conversation we can have—I have total, three-sixty latitude to work on my father’s behalf.”

“Great. Yeah, cool. No, me too. Yup.”

He didn’t, but you wisely kept your mouth shut.

“Weird, how much we’re the same,” said Roman, playfully punching Eduard’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you guys are practically twins,” you quipped, smiling over the rim of your glass. “Couldn’t tell the two of you apart.”

The dark-haired man tilted his head. “Buy them with me. We’ll split it fifty-fifty.”

“I, uh…” Roman spared you a look, silently asking you if he was being stupid with his rashness. “I don’t really see a downside, other than zero knowledge or interest in Scottish football. But, yeah! Hearts. Sounds fun.”

“Hibs,” you said.

Roman wrinkled his nose. “Hearts.”

“Hearts, it is,” said Eduard.

It wasn’t Hearts.

After Kendall’s laughable rap song about—what was it—stanning his dad and calling him the OG, Roman had broken the news that he’d bought the Hearts club as a present for Logan on such a special day.

Logan fixed the three of you with a blank stare.

“The Hearts?” he echoed.

Roman spread his arms, wiggling the tips of his finger in a sad rendition of jazz hands. “Mhm.”

“Hearts Football Club?”

Roman nodded.

Shiftily, Logan looked towards you. He always looked to you for clarification when he couldn’t understand his son—which was quite often.

“Uhm, Roman bought the Hearts for you,” you said, voice small.

“It’s your team, right?” Rome asked.

A beat of silence.

“I’m Hibs,” said your godfather.

You fucking knew it.

“You’re Hibs,” parroted Roman, his shoulders beginning to droop. “Really? Are you sure? I thought you were Hearts—I’m pretty sure you were Hearts, dad.”

Scratching at his chin, Logan softly said, “You know what, maybe you’re right. Hm. How would I know what team I’ve supported all my fucking life? Who knows—maybe I supported Kilmarnock. Or Fucklechester Rangers? I mean, how could I possibly know?”

Roman recoiled as if he’d been kicked. Eduard patted his shoulder, and brushed his hand along your lower back as he slipped away, chest burning with secondhand embarrassment.

“Sorry, Uncle Logan, there’s just been a, uh, a miscommunication—” you said, hastily tugging Roman away. The two of you wove through the crowd until you got out of the large room, into one of the quieter halls.

You chewed on your bottom lip, watching Roman frustratedly pace back and forth in front of you. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, he snapped out, “I thought he was fucking Hearts, dude!”

“... I told you, Ro.”

He scowled. “Ugh. Shut up.”

Before you could ask if he could maybe switch somehow, two figures pushed through the doors, coming to stand in front of you. You tore your gaze away from the flustered man, fixing your eyes on—

Fuck.

“It’s lovely to see you, Y/N,” said your mother. In her hand was a glass of wine, half empty. “You’ve grown quite a bit. Have you gained weight?”

She reached out, but you immediately stepped back, closer to Roman.

After getting over your initial shock, you cleared your throat and tentatively responded, “Hi, mom. Dad.”

The couple gave you an awkward onceover. It’d been years since you last saw them, with maybe one or two texts exchanged every year for the holidays. Though, even that wasn’t a guarantee.

“We, uhm, we saw you rush out with Roman here and thought we’d say hello,” said your father, sparing you a terse smile.

“Wow.” Roman, unsurprisingly, inserted himself into the conversation. “And the parents of the year award goes to…”

“You thought you’d say hello. Jesus—I haven’t seen either of you in fucking forever and the first thing you do is nitpick at my appearance?” you growled, fists clenching by your side. “Listen, if you want to be in my life, then be in my life. But you can’t pretend that everything is okay when you see me and then promptly waltz off and disappear for another decade or two.”

Your mother sipped at her wine, at a loss for words. They glanced at each other, both wearing a mildly guilty expression, but had really nothing to defend themself with.

With an angry scoff, you stormed back into the room where Logan was about to give his closing speech, shoulder roughly knocking into your father’s as you brushed past him.

Roman scratched the back of his head, left alone with your parents.

“For the record, Y/N is doing fucking great without either of you. You know—crunching those numbers, being a goddamn messiah for the lower-level employees, fucking the boss. All that jazz.” He grinned and hum-laughed when their eyes widened in shock, and sauntered in after you. It wasn’t exactly that white of a lie. You’d given him a handjob and the two of you technically had phone sex—would those two activities put together constitute as one whole traditional, in-person fuck?

He’d come in to stand beside you and Tabitha just in time to hear his father make the announcement.

“... And I shall be appointing Rhea Jarrell as my Chief Executive Operator.”

The crowd burst into applause. Roman clapped with a faux-surprised expression. When he glanced at you, you were wiping the corner of your eyes with the back of your palm and hastily clapped along.

Once the cheers began to mellow away, Roman stopped clapping to lace his fingers through the gaps of yours, squeezing tight. Your eyes watered even more at the contact, but you squeezed back in gratitude.

There was an interview of James Weissel on the television: a whistleblowing interview tossing Gerri, Kendall, and Tom into the stinking shitpot that was the cruise incidents, accusing the three of covering up McClintock’s actions. Logan had shut it off before anybody could finish watching.

Whilst everyone was busy prattling off about how bad of a situation this was, Gerri seemed to be the one lighthouse amidst the storm.

“I say we tell the truth,” she calmly said, adjusting her glasses to sit higher up her nose. “The family knew nothing of this. We throw Mo overboard. Mo, bad apple. Jim Weasel, bad apple. Spies a book deal—sotto voce, backed by Sandy and Stewy. All corporate fuckery, no real concern. In terms of historic shit? I say we give up Bill. He should’ve let us know what he discovered rather than cleaning up without telling us the details.”

Bill had been the old Tom before Tom was, well, Tom.

And so there was the strategy: letting Bill take the fall, and kill him off. It wasn’t… a decision you necessarily felt good about, but it was the least messy the situation could be.

Things felt like they’d be smoothed over, just for a little bit.

But then Siobhan came in, phone clutched tightly in her hand. “Gil is going to call for hearings.”

This stirred up quite a murmur in the room. Both Kendall and Frank sat up in their seats with incredulous questions on the tip of their tongues.

“Yeah, Senate Commerce. Probably House, too.”

Gerri was on her phone in an instant. “Buckle up folks,” she said while scrolling through the news. “We’re going to get an invite to the national latrine. See who’s going to take a public dump.”

“Mr. Fuck is going to Washington,” Shiv sighed.

It was then that Logan let out an ear-splitting bellow of rage. It shocked both you and Roman into flinching.

“NO! I CAN’T HAVE THIS NOW!” he screamed in distress.

There was a long moment of silence.

In a leveled tone, you asked Shiv, “Who’s testifying?”

“Uh, well… well, they’d want Dad.”

Kendall quickly protested, “No, we can’t—we won’t let that happen—”

“Protect the egg chamber!” said Roman. Nobody could quite tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

It was then that Hugo suggested Gerri and Tom to testify. The group went back and forth for a little while longer on what the play would be, but it was quite clear that everybody was already settled with Gerri and Tom going up there.

To your surprise, Logan called for you and Roman out of the room.

A part of you wondered if he’d beat Roman over the head with his fancy business shoe for buying the wrong soccer team. You certainly wouldn’t put it past him, especially in his already-agitated state.

“I need both of your help,” he told the two of you once you were out of the room, lingering by the foot of the pristine staircase.

“Need someone to run to the store for smokes?” Roman asked, his hands propped on his hips.

“This’ll go on all night… and it might not be okay,” your godfather said.

This made you tilt your head. “Will this really sway the shareholders into folding? It happened under our noses three decades ago, and the perpetrator is dead.”

“The very fact that we’re being called to testify will spook the shareholders. I’m on a knife’s edge.” He grunted softly as he lowered himself to sit on one of the lower steps of the cold staircase. “Ten bad minutes on camera, and that could be it. The end.”

Roman’s brows raised. “The end? Come on, Dad.”

“I need the two of you to chase down the sovereign wealth money,” said Logan.

You and Roman glanced at one another. Was he being serious?

“Right. Uhm… I mean—that’s… it’s a cool idea, but it’d be a stretch, no?” Roman tentatively brought up.

Logan leaned forward, shifting his weight onto his elbows, which were resting upon his knees. Though he had made himself physically smaller, he’d always be the biggest presence in the room. “We need that central Asian money. It’s a time out from the responsibilities of being a public company. That’s a fucking lifeline, if I’ve ever seen one.”

“They’d be taking on a massive amount of debt. That’s a… huge responsibility, Uncle Logan.”

The older man snorted. “Which is why I’m making you go with him. Make sure he doesn’t fuck up. Keep it under wraps. And bring Karl and Laird with you, as well, for the financial matters.” There was a pause as he studied the two of you. “Can you do it?”

Roman scratched anxiously at the back of his head. “Fuck, Dad, I want to say I can. But, I’ll be honest—if it’s, like, really important… I mean, I can say I can do it—like one of those firefighters in the movies. But I don’t know if—”

“You act the fuckleknuckle, but you know… people like you.”

There it was. A narrow slant of light. It wasn’t real—at least, you didn’t think it was—but it was warmth regardless.

Roman’s features twisted. “It’s a really big fucking deal.”

“Nah. It’s getting the right number from the right suit. Getting your dick in there is easy. Getting into bed—that’s the hard part,” said his father. “You can do it. Both of you can.”

You scuffed your shoe against the floor just as Roman’s nose twitched.

“Yeah. Sure, dad, I got it.”

Logan pushed himself off the staircase, placing a hand on each of your shoulders. The light was warm, and far too addicting. He smiled softly.

It wasn’t real, you had to remind yourself. It’s never real. But did that really matter? Did it?

“You’re brilliant, my dear. A real force to reckon with. I trust you to hammer the nail right on its head,” he said.

You swallowed harshly. “I hope we won’t disappoint, Uncle.”

When he pulled away, he began to make his way towards the doors once more. “Keep me close,” he said.

And with that, he was gone.

Roman let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding.

“Why does it feel like we just dug our own graves? I feel like I’ve got fuckin’ dirt in my eyes,” he lamented just as you leaned your head onto his shoulder. “You know, if the company ever kills you off, I’ll quit. I don’t know how I’d do it around here without you.”

“All bark, still no bite,” you quietly told him. “You wouldn’t leave the company. Not on your own free will.”

Like a caged dog: it was only able to escape if their owner opened the door for them.

“I’ll kill myself if they kill you. I mean it—I’ll eat a fucking silver bullet.”

“How romantic.”

“Mhm—we’re like fuckin’... Romeo and Juliet.”

He smiled, and so did you.

“C’mon. Let’s go watch the grown-ass men I bought kick around balls for a bit,” said Roman.

Eduard greeted you at the soccer team’s practice field with a kiss on the cheek, Roman with a firm handshake.

“It’s good to see you,” you told him with a genuine smile.

“Good to see you guys, too,” he replied. His expression was well-guarded behind a pair of dark shades. “With everything I’ve heard going down at Waystar, I was surprised you even showed up.”

With a shrug, Roman said, “I have nothing better to do, I promise. I’m gonna cut right to the chase here—do you think there’s any chance you guys have the muscle to take us private? Is that something that’s interesting to you and your dad?”

With nearly no hesitation, Eduard bobbed his head in an affirmative.

Shocked, Karl asked, “Really? That’s…”

Eduard spared the older man half of a grin. “Yes, we’re interested. It’ll look good as part of our portfolio, and we like the news expertise you can share.” Just as Laird began spewing off details to tell Logan, Eduard cut him off by saying, “Actually, Roman, Y/N—can you guys do it? The two of you make quite a team. You and your… bum-boys here can come to Turkey tomorrow? Pitch to me and my Dad?”

You and Roman exchanged earnest glances, as if speaking to each other telepathically. You were sure you could push back your work at Waystar for a few days to settle the privatizing deal.

“Absolutely. I think we can definitely do that,” said Rome, with a pleased hum. Then, he turned back to fix his gaze on Laird and Karl. “Ain’t that right, bum-boys?”

“Why Turkey?” you asked, brows raising. “I mean, I can pitch to you anywhere, but why, you know, all the way across the ocean?”

“There’s an investing conference in Bursa. Everyone will be there—we can get into it. Unless you have any objections…?”

Hastily, you shook your head. “No, no. This is great. Thanks for the opportunity.”

“No problem,” said Eduard, watching the ball fly across the field, landing into the goal. “I like you guys. Really.”

The coach called for the team to huddle up, allowing for the owners to say a few words. A part of you wondered if Rome even remembered the name of the FC he had bought.

“Great session, guys. And listen, for Saturday, you have the ability, you have the mentality. Watch that press doesn’t leave you exposed on the turnover, and you fucking got this. Rome?” Eduard turned to your friend, who hadn’t really prepared anything to say.

Roman fixed you with a panicked look, but you nudged him forward with a purse of you lips.

Scratching the back of his head, he awkwardly started, “Uh, yeah, hey guys! Really proud to be associated with all of you. Uh, well, what the fuck can I tell you that you don’t already know? You, uh, you got all this guys, don’t worry about it. ‘Cause you guys are a team, and, uh, when a team… is a team… it can’t actually physically be beaten. It’s impossible. So, go hard, go fast—uh, go you… lovely bastards.” The team glanced at each other and began to awkwardly clap, before Rome looked to you and said, “Anything else you want to add?”

“Me?” you hissed under your breath. “Rome, I’m not an owner—”

“Just say something—!” he whispered back, yanking you forward by the arm.

Stiff, you waved at the litter of sweaty, jerseyed men in front of you. “Hi. Yeah, I’m sure you guys know I’m not one of the team’s owners, but I was there during the business negotiations as Roman’s, uh… co-partner. All I can do now is wish you all the best of luck for your next match—get some rest, eat some good food, keep your eyes on the prize. And if any of you want to get in touch with Waystar Royco for any sort of PR pitches to get your face out there… Coach will have me and Roman’s contact details.” With a smile, you stepped back, shoulder brushing against Roman’s.

“Fuck you,” he muttered bitterly. “Did you rehearse that in your head or something? How’d you manage to perfectly squeeze business into a fucking pep talk?”

You grinned and pinched his cheek lightly. “Go hard and go fast, you lovely bastard,” you mocked, voice rife with fondness, chortling when he swatted your hand away.

Before you knew it, you and Roman (and the bum-boys) were in Turkey, pitching to Eduard and his team. You had tried practicing a little the night before, but Roman had tossed all the flashcards away out of part-frustration and part-cockiness, assuring you that things would be fine.

Now, as he was speaking, he seemed pretty confident in his own words. The two of you made a good team, after all.

“Look at the cash flow,” said Roman. “We are undervalued. I think tech just had everybody shitting their pants about legacy media, but really, the wheel turns.”

You nodded with an emphatic smile. “It’s true. No matter how much content moves to streaming sites, people will always want to look for something physical. Something you can feel and experience outside of home—hence Waystar’s adventure parks, and films to experience in theaters.” You made great effort to skirt around the touchy subject of cruises at the moment.

“Most tech is overvalued. We’re profitable. We’re real money,” Roman added, growing more assured of himself with your support.

“Tech is always changing. Invest in one thing, and it’ll be outdated in a blink of an eye. Invest in things people will always need: news, broadcasting, life experiences… now that’s reliable.” Eduard flashed you a smile, as if he was already sold.

“This is a tremendous opportunity,” said Rome. “This is once in a lifetime. You get to buy into the US media landscape at the very top. The very top.”

Two of the men leaned forward to whisper indistinctly to one another.

“It’s a lot of debt,” one of them said once he finally pulled away. “You sure you can pull it together?”

“Absolutely sure,” Roman said with a mild laugh, knowing things with money and debt were quite rocky at the moment, before pointing back at Laird. “Jaime here is the fucking master of leverage. He has structured some of the biggest LBOs in history.”

“Guilty as charged,” said the older man.

Before anyone could say anything else, the doors to the room opened, and a few men filed in, murmuring indistinctly to the security. Your brows pulled together upon seeing guns strapped to their forms.

Roman exchanged a worried look with you.

“Are they, uh… are they with you?” he asked Eduard, who got up off his seat to speak to them in hushed tones.

“Rome, they have guns,” you murmured as you placed a hand on his forearm, glancing back at Karl and Laird. “What’s going on?”

The atmosphere seemed to chill when Eduard turned back to the four of you.

“Hey, look, we’re good. We’re good. But, uh… we’re all gonna go with these gentlemen now, okay?” He raised his hands in an almost placating manner, as if trying to tame a nervous mare.

Roman pointed at the armed men. “We’re going with them?” He laughed nervously, wondering if this was one big, elaborate joke. “Uh, no… I don’t think we—uh, who are these guys, exactly?”

Genuine fear began to curdle in your stomach when you watched the security walk out. “Dave just walked out. Hey, Eduard? I just—I need you to be honest with me. Are we in danger right now?”

Eduard worked his jaw in thought. “We’re just going to go with them now. Okay? It’ll be fine.”

“No, uh, I just—Can I just ask what this is in regards to?” Roman stepped in, high-strung. “Is this about the meeting? Is this a business thing?”

Did I fuck it up and put a loaded gun to my own head? he wanted to say, but bit his tongue before he could.

With a sharp tone, you asked, “Our security guy, Dave, he just walked out with them. Where’d he go? Is he coming back?”

“Dave’s not coming,” said Eduard with pursed lips.

“He’s not coming?” Roman parroted. “Uhm… I would actually really like for Dave to come?”

“Dave is downstairs, we’ll go without him,” Eduard said in a calm tone. “Dave is a security risk. It’s better with these guys, okay?”

“Well, I know Dave, and I sure as hell don’t know these guys so… I think I’d prefer Dave—” you began to say, but was quickly cut off when Eduard put a hand on your shoulder and began leading your tense form out the room, Roman hot on your heels.

“It’s all good. It’s all under control,” Eduard murmured, though you highly doubted it. “There could be a situation, but we’re being looked after.”

A frown crossed Roman’s expression. “Oh, great. We’re being looked after. Fucking great. Laird—can you call Dave?”

They pulled out their phones, but the vested men with guns took the devices away just as quickly as it was pulled out. One stood in front of you with an expectant expression, and you complied with no resistance, handing him your phone, though not without a scowl.

“Great. They took my phone, and now I can’t contact my security, and now we’re going to die,” Roman said. When you looked at him, you could see genuine, restless fear dance over his irises. You didn’t quite know what to say, so you simply squeezed his arm as the two of you walked along.

The armed men led all of you to a crowded hotel lobby, where there seemed to be more hostages, more armed folk in similar attire.

“Fuck,” Roman mumbled under his breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. This isn’t business, is it?”

“Doesn’t look very business-y,” replied Karl.

When someone passed by and their gun brushed against your arm, you flinched back into Roman, your lips pulling back in a snarl. “Eduard. Fuck—Eduard, where the fuck are you taking us?”

“Just relax. This is normal,” he said, shiftily.

Roman scoffed. “Oh, yeah. This feels really fucking normal. Is this—are these guys terrorists? Where’s my fucking security guy? Where’s Dave?”

For a moment, Eduard seemed at a loss for words. You could feel dread pile up in your stomach. “It’s just… it’s an administrative action function,” he reluctantly said.

“Mm, yeah, great, and what exactly is that—?” Roman began to ask, before halting his own question when he trained his gaze on a struggle across the lobby. “Oh, wow, look at that. Guy not being allowed to leave the hotel at gunpoint. That’s—uh, yeah. So what’s… what’s this administrative action function?”

Pursing his lips, Eduard finally fessed up, “There’s just a gathering here now, of us and some other investors, and—”

“Men with guns?” Roman impatiently chirped.

“Yeah, yeah, that, and their guys are some kind of… anti-corruption kind of guys and this is like—it’s like their conference. Or, uh, a party of some sort. And we’re all invited.”

Your eye twitched. “That’s really lovely, but uh, what if I don’t want to go?”

A scream from somewhere over the crowd echoed through the lobby. Glass shattering followed soon after. Karl paled and he anxiously picked at a hangnail.

Eduard sighed. “It’s the kind of party where you have to go. It would be… rude.”

Roman stared at the ground, at nothing in particular. “Well, uh, I guess I wouldn’t mind being just a tiny bit rude.”

It was becoming more and more clear that no amount of protests or questions would get you out of this situation—not with every exit manned by armed personnel. The hostages in the hotel were soon herded into a large hall, empty save for bare white chairs for people to sit on. Eduard was led into a different room, and you briefly wondered if that’d be the last time you ever saw him.

You blew out a breath as you took a seat. Roman was quick to snare Laird into playing a multitude of games, like rock, paper, scissors, eye spy, and fuck, marry, kill. You didn’t pay much attention to them, instead trying to figure out what you’d do with yourself once you got out of this situation. One thing was for sure: your therapist was going to have a field day hearing this.

“Where do you think they’re taking them?” you asked the men beside you when they began grabbing hostages and shoving them out the doors.

“Doesn’t look like they’re gonna be taking a tour of the spa,” said Laird.

“My advice,” Karl huffed, looking awfully sweaty, “just don’t look at anything. If you don’t look, you’re not a witness.”

You buried your face in your hands. “Wonderful. Brilliant advice, Karl. At least you didn’t tell me to just take it if they decided to shove their dicks into my mouth.”

“Woah!” exclaimed Roman, eyes widening. “That’s not going to happen. Right? That can’t happen.”

You spared him a shrug, slumping back against the chair. Though, you were quick to sit up straight again when Eduard emerged from the doors, making a bee-line for you and Roman.

“Hey, guys. It’s all good. Things are good. So, uh, my president’s daughter’s husband has asked him to take closer control of some key assets. It’s anti-corruption, but it’s a bit of a power-grab. Some Turkish acquiescence, but it’s all in play.”

If you had to be honest, you understood very little of what he was saying. Whether it was because of your panic-hazed mind, or because he was merely being ambiguous, you couldn’t quite tell.

“Not to, uh, make this all about us…” began Roman, tentative, “but are they going to shoot us at any point?”

“No one is getting shot,” assured the bearded man. “Look, it’s complicated, but with the Zeynal here—there’s some interest about the deal.”

Deal?

Both you and Roman glanced at each other.

“Uh, fuck. Okay. The deal, sure,” said Rome.

“One thing they wanted clarity on was—how could they be sure the deal wouldn’t be blocked by your government?” Eduard asked.

You stuck your tongue against your cheek when Roman shook his head, “Well, it wouldn’t. My father has a lot of sway. I mean, he can’t lock up his opponents in a hotel, but, well, he kinda could.”

“And you’re the target of another bid? Won’t that be a problem?”

Sandy and Stewy. “Not a problem,” you quickly said. “They’re all bark, very little bite. If the price is right, we can easily reach a settlement before the shareholder meeting.”

With a nod, Eduard patted your knee, and he got up to leave—talk to his associates once more.

“That went well,” said Laird, mildly surprised.

“Yeah… a little too well,” Roman mused.

Hours later, Eduard returned, calling for the four of you to follow him.

It was a pitch. A messy pitch—one you clearly weren’t in the right mindspace for. One where the audience had clear smudges of coke lining their nostrils, dusting their tables. One that had a lot of money thrown into the empty promises, accompanied by high smiles and wandering eyes. It made you feel sick, and Roman clearly wasn’t a fan of it, either. Laird seemed to be satisfied with the mutual agreements, though. He heard money, and he immediately thought he was safe.

But the agreements didn’t feel quite real. None of it felt real. It was all bullshit, you wanted to yell at their face. Being held at gunpoint to play business in front of the coked out billionaires was not your preferred method of saving the company, especially when none of the settlements felt cemented. This wasn’t safe money to bet the entire company on—it might’ve not been money at all, in fact.

By the end of everything, the ambassador had arranged for a plane to finally get you out of the country. You fell asleep as soon as you sat down in your seat, the long hours going without sleep finally catching up to you. Roman curled up in the seat beside you, his head on your shoulder. He stayed awake the entire flight, listening to your steady breaths.

The Mediterranean. The Roys were on a fancy yacht in the Mediterranean.

It would’ve sounded like a pleasant getaway, if you weren’t dead-tired, having just returned from being held hostage at gunpoint. You just wanted to go home. Logan, however, wanted you and Rome by his side—and who were you to say no to the top dog?

As the speedboat skidded to a stop by the yacht, cheers erupted from siblings, along with Gerri and Frank, Greg and Tom. Roman slid his sunglasses on as he clambered onto the larger boat’s deck.

“Here they are! The heroes of Asia!” exclaimed Shiv, a flute of champagne in hand. She was the first to greet you, taking your hand and helping you out of the speedboat. After a kiss to your cheek, you spared her an exhausted smile.

“The lions of Turkey! Welcome back, guys!” chimed Greg. He leaned down to embrace his cousin, but Roman was quick to push his face away. Greg didn’t dare try to hug you after that, merely waving from afar.

Frank clapped a hand on your shoulder. “Back like Odysseus. Did you guys ride out on sheep?”

Snorting, Shiv added, “Yeah, I heard you took down an entire army alone, bro.”

“That would’ve been really traumatizing if you weren’t already so fucked up,” Gerri told Roman, who simply frowned.

“Yeah, who’d you suck off to get out?” Kendall inserted.

Tom smiled widely from behind Shiv. “You were staying at Four Seasons, right? How did you guys escape? Did you—did you build a glider out of a caesar salad?”

Roman squinted at nothing in particular from behind the dark lens of his sunglasses. “Uh, you know what? It was actually fucking scary and we thought they might kill us, but yeah…” The tips of his fingers wiggled in a poor rendition of jazz hands. “Hardee-har-har, caesar salads, har-har. So funny.”

An awkward silence ensued between the small group. You scritched at your neck with a wince, wanting nothing more than a shower and a nap.

“Sorry, dude. Seriously,” said Kendall.

Roman snorted. “Yeah, no. They just raped me a little, but I’m no hero. They stuck their cocks down Y/N’s throat, too. Tell them.”

He nudged you and you shook your head tiredly. “They didn’t do that.”

“See? It got so bad that she trauma-blocked the memories. Shame on all of you,” he said, propping his fists on his hips.

Feeling mildly guilty, Shiv had the gall to rub her hand on her brother’s shoulder. “Sorry, Rome.”

“It’s fine. I’m just tired, or whatever. It was funny, actually. Karl almost shat in a bucket and I have it on my phone, so we can fully humiliate him in our daily jerkfest later,” said Rome, tugging you to sit down with him on a large white seat.

“So how’d it all go, business-wise?” Connor asked, eyeing the both of you curiously. “Or was that forgotten?”

Before either of you could say anything, Laird stepped in, shaking his head with a wide smile. “Oh, we can’t say anything about that. Confidential stuff. But they—they did good.”

“Oh! Okay. Promising!” Connor exclaimed, shooting the both of you a grin. “Congrats, you guys.”

Unease crackled between the two of you. When you locked gazes with Roman, he merely lifted one of his shoulders in a shrug, lips pursed. The deal probably wouldn’t go through. It was all empty promises, powdered with a layer of cocaine.

The two of you failed. And maybe that was okay.

Your hand found his, and his head knocked against yours. He drank the beer Shiv handed him, and you drank in the salty air of the sea.

After you’d finally managed to pry yourself away from Roman (or, more accurately, Roman away from you), you had yourself a nice, hot shower, and a long-overdue nap. When you drowsily blinked back into consciousness, it was early afternoon, the sun still high up in the cloudless sky. A part of you wondered how you hadn’t just slept through the entire day.

You cleaned yourself up and changed into loose loungewear, heading down a story of the yacht, where you caught sight of the Roy siblings hanging by the pool (minus Connor, who was discussing matters of the play).

Roman waved at you limply. “Hey, sleeping beauty. You were knocked out for a while. I poked you in all your ticklish spots and you didn’t even stir.”

With a sigh, you curled yourself up into the cushioned spot beside him, Shiv on your other side. On her right was Tom, who had his gaze trained on Greg on the other side of the pool—the Roy’s cousin was… getting his toes looked at by the medic? You weren’t sure, and you didn’t quite want to know.

“You know, if you snuck into my room while I’m asleep and prodded me like a corpse, at least don’t fess up to it. You weirdo,” you said once you finally tore your gaze away from Greg, wrinkling your nose at Rome fondly.

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it,” Roman whistled, to which Shiv let out a loud groan of complaint.

Sloshing water from the pool drew your attention to Kendall. “You good, Y/N? Sorry about—if I was, like, insensitive earlier—”

“It’s fine,” you quickly replied. “They were never going to shoot us, anyway. It was all just… theatrics.”

Theatrics. Puppets and strings.

Kendall smiled loosely.

“So, uh, how was DC?” you asked the older man as he leaned against the rim of the pool. “They had it on the TV for a bit when we were waiting to give our pitch.”

He nodded, water dripping from his hair. “Yeah, it was—it was pretty fucking real.”

“You did good,” Roman chirped, adjusting the sunglasses on his nose.

Scoffing, Kendall shrugged his shoulders. “Okay. And what? I did good for—for a crackhead? For a moron on crack?” His voice was lilting with incredulity.

“Nope. You did good, Ken,” he said.

Shiv nodded. “Yeah. You killed it.”

Kendall wasn’t used to genuine praise from his siblings. It was usually edged with an insult, laced with sarcasm or ire.

“It was Tom that, uh… that didn’t really persuade everyone quite as well,” you said, sending an apologetic grimace to Shiv’s fiance.

“You’re being too nice. He shat his pants and puked all over the floor,” Roman huffed with an amused smile.

Tom pulled a cross face. “I didn’t—!” He drew in a sharp breath. “You know, a lot of people are saying I was deadcatting. Yeah. So like—dead cat on the table. Everyone’s looking at this dead cat, and not… not talking about your dad.”

Shiv pursed her lips. “Right. Sure, yeah, you drew the fire. Yeah.”

Both you and Roman exchanged humored looks.

“So, what’s going on with Rhea? She’s out, right?” Roman asked a beat later.

“Mhm. Melted. But she’s agreed not to say anything publicly until after the shareholder meeting,” said Shiv.

You briefly wondered why she backed away, but chalked it up to immense financial risk and potential ethical demise of her career. Good for her.

“Instead of Rhea, whose big hairy foot is going to slip into the glass slipper?” Roman queried. “Washington Ken here?”

His older brother clambered out of the pool, grabbing a towel to dry himself off. “Me? Uh, no. Nope. I mean—Rome, you brought the golden goose home.”

The two of you frowned at the same time. Roman let out a loud sigh.

“Could be anyone,” you said. “We’re right back to square one.”

“Yeah. Could be. I mean, why is Greg here?” Kendall shot a look over his shoulder to glance at his cousin, peering between his own toes.

Roman snorted. “I always ask that question.” Then, he patted your thigh and leaned against you, enjoying the warmth of your skin against his. “I did think—you know, when I thought they were going to vacuum out my innards and fill me with concrete or something—like… if we come through this, is there a thing where we, like, talk to each other about stuff? Normally?”

In a strange alien-baby voice, Shiv mocked, “You wanna twalk to each other nwormally?”

Kendall snickered and tacked on, “You wanna twalk abwout the big shit?”

“Yeah, let’s twalk abwout the big shit!”

“We can talk about—our feewings!”

The siblings joking around for a rare moment reminded you of when you were all younger, with missing teeth and scraped knees. When Shiv’s hair would still be done up in a ponytail and yours would be twisted into pigtails. Simpler times—when things weren’t all that simple but you, in your blissful ignorance, had thought they were.

Though you really didn’t want to laugh, you tried your best to smother down a chuckle, making Roman send you a betrayed glare.

“Wow. Really? You, too?” He lightly shoved you away, and you and Shiv burst into a fit of giggles when you knocked into her. “How am I the most mature one here?”

“Sowwy, Wome,” you crooned in the same alien-baby voice. He kicked at your foot, then hooked his leg over yours.

The laughter dulled away when the whirring of helicopter blades descended over the yacht.

Logan was here.

“Emotional gunship incoming,” said Kendall.

“Yeah. Send out the distress signal,” Shiv added, the smile on her lips fading away as she looked up to see her father fly down. “We’re under attack.”

Logan was smiling. It wasn’t often that he smiled.

He greeted you with a chaste kiss to the cheek, and Roman with a pat to the shoulder. It was warm in the light—brief, but warm nonetheless.

When he hoarded the two of you, along with bum-boys Laird and Karl into a separate room, he immediately asked, “Are you two alright? I heard it got a bit tasty.”

Tasty wasn’t exactly the right word for it, you thought.

“Mmh, we’re fine. I’ve had worse experiences at hotels before,” Roman languidly commented, shrugging it off.

Logan tilted his head. “Did they look after you? I spoke to the White House.”

“Someone came and told us there was a warship,” you said, pursing your lips. “Felt a bit extreme.”

“Knowing us gun-handy Americans, I bet it was already there,” Roman snorted, pouring himself a drink. “The ambassador took us for a shitty lunch—you know, sorry that you were held at gunpoint, have a cheese sandwich.”

Logan gestured for all of you to take a seat. “So… on the money. What’s the situation?”

“The kids did great,” said Laird, which made Roman audibly gag. “I think, Mr. Roy, you’ll be able to go private. Eduard and his father have titular responsibility for the sovereign wealth but the president’s daughter’s husband, Zeynal, is the key guy now. The two of ‘em killed it with him.”

Shrugging, Roman said, “Well, it was clear Eduard was getting sidelined. Zeynal figured out who we were, and I thought we were gonna be taken to get a fucking chainsaw massage but… nope. We had an hour, we pitched hard, and they said they wanted in.”

“Too modest,” Laird emphasized, brows raising. “This is the perfect opportunity.”

It wasn’t. It never was.

Karl went on to talk about the numbers, and Logan seemed quite pleased.

“That’s great. That’s fucking fantastic!” announced Roman’s father.

Rome bit down on the inside of his cheek. He winced, and scratched at his head.

“I just… I do have to say one thing, dad…”

Panic flashed across Laird’s eyes. “Roman, we’re good.”

Ignoring him, Roman said, “I mean, we had a good talk with Zeynal and he said, with his mouth, that he wanted in and that’s great and all… but if this is really serious for us, I think I actually do have to say that it feels like it’s… probably horseshit.”

A beat of silence.

Laird’s eyes twitched.

Clearing your throat, you said, “Yeah, I just wanna make it clear that they said they wanted in, but didn’t sign anything yet. I mean, it’s not like we had any documents on hand but… words mean nothing. Uncle Logan, I don’t know if it’s… really smart to bank the entire future of the company on words of drug-addled men taking a piss out of you.”

Logan’s brows raised.

“It was flaky,” Roman added. “There was a lot of shit going on.”

The head man glanced at Karl, who remained deathly quiet, and then back to you.

“Roman, they want to rebalance their portfolio for, uh, for a variety of geopolitical reasons,” began Laird. “It’s very European-focused, and he wants to tilt Western Hemisphere. It’s all very logical! I know that it’s a lot of money, and that can be very scary, but it makes sense.”

“All due respect, Laird, but I really don’t think they give a shit about adding us to their portfolio,” you said, voice hesitant. “They know we’re in debt. They know we’re in hot water with a large sector of the company. Why would they want in at all, much less hand over a ten billion dollar investment like it’s nothing?”

Roman sucked in a sharp breath. “Sorry that we’re worrying our pretty little heads, Laird, but if they’re rebalancing their portfolio, it’d be fucking insane to do it over one ten-bil mega deal like it’s nothing.”

“Yeah, it’d be more sensible that they invest into several different markets around the globe,” you agreed. “None of this feels right.”

“It doesn’t matter what it feels like,” stressed Laird. “They said yes!”

With a frown, Roman retorted back, “Maybe, sure, they said yes! And there’s a ten or twenty percent chance that you’d make, like, a hundred million bucks with this deal. That’s so exciting! But if we miss, we could be fucked.”

Logan’s expression was hard to read. Anger? Disbelief? Disappointment? Acceptance? You couldn’t quite tell.

Swallowing hard, you said, “If we go through with this and none of it turns out to be real, we’d go straight over the edge. No votes, no political gain, no money.”

Finally, Logan murmured, “If it falls halfway through, it’d be terminal.”

A vein popped out on Laird’s head. “But if it works… just one step forward, and you’d be free.”

You couldn’t help but scoff. “Free from what? Just because we go private doesn’t mean we can do fuck all.”

Before Laird could argue back, Logan fixed his stare onto Roman. “Son?” he asked.

“Dad, I have to say, I’ve done a little bullshitting in my time—and Zenyal was a cokey, lying, 3 AM scotch and see-you-in-the-morning man. He won’t follow through.”

With a frustrated groan, Laird angrily got up from his seat.

Roman shook his head. “Dad, I wish it was real. I really fucking do. But it’s not—and we have to step away.”

When Logan turned his stare onto you, you nodded in agreement with Roman.

“Karl?” your godfather asked.

The man buckled under the scrutiny. “You can’t lean on this,” he said. “Not now.”

His mind finally made, Logan got up onto his feet. “I’m sorry, Jaime. Keep exploring, keep talking. I cannot pile my chips on something that isn’t solid.”

“Excellent,” sighed Jaime. He looked at you, then at Roman. “You wanna talk solid? Maybe take a look at your kid there. Does he sound solid to you? And—thanks for the support, Karl. I hope you enjoy the king’s favors, because you know what you’re looking at if you don’t go private. Someone has to pay the price. Someone is going to go to jail, and I won’t be around to see it.”

With that, he dramatically took his leave. Roman tilted his head back and rolled his eyes.

“I wanna do the best thing. The most decent thing,” said Logan. His hand was on your shoulder for a moment, before he pulled away. “Tomorrow we’ll get into a discussion about our missteps and how we can indicate how sorry we are to the rest of the world. Get some rest, the both of you.”

As you clambered into bed, Roman unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it somewhere behind him. He’d followed you into the cabin, claiming that there were no available cabins left—and you knew he was lying, because you’d passed by several empty rooms on the way to yours, but you didn’t bother to protest.

“If you wanted to cuddle, you could’ve just asked.”

“Ugh, shut up.”

“You know, I overheard Tom and Shiv speaking to each other,” you said as you fluffed up a pillow to lay on.

“Ooh. Is Tom the one getting shitcanned? No surprise there,” Roman replied, crawling next to you and laid down on his stomach, head resting on his crossed arms.

“No. I mean, I don’t actually know who it’ll be, but—” You paused to smile, near-childish laughter falling from your lips. “I heard Tom saying he was excited for a threesome.”

“Ew! What? Ew! Tell me more,” Roman exclaimed, swatting at your arms and you shoved him back, laughing at his tone. “Oh, that’s so gross. Never pegged Tom as the type.”

“I don’t think it was Tom’s idea.”

“Ew!”

The two of you giggled about it some more, before you lolled your head over to face him.

“Do you think it could be me?” you quietly asked. “Would Logan throw me to the sharks?”

Roman hummed. “Sometimes it feels like he likes you better than any of his own fucking kids. You’re not getting canned. It won’t make sense.”

“Hm.”

He threw an arm over your stomach. “But… it won’t be me, right?”

“I don’t know, Rome,” you told him honestly. “After today… I just don’t know. But I’ve got your back.”

The two of you basked in the comfort of each other’s quiet for a brief moment. You scooched closer to him and shut your eyes.

“You’re a really good friend, Rome.”

Something akin to an amused snort fell from his lips. “Pfft. Friend. I don’t think friends jerk off to the sound of each other’s voices. You’ve had your hand on my dick. Is that what friends do these days?”

“Friends with benefits, then.”

He brushed his lips along your shoulder, light as a feather, barely there. There was a strange ache in his chest. An ache that you also felt. The two of you ached together, unknowingly.

“Hm. I like the sound of that. It’s like you’re my personal whore.”

“It’s a two-way street.”

“Yeah. You fuck me, I fuck you. You kill me, I kill you. Like they do in Germany.”

There it was again. What was with Roman and Germany?

“Sure. Like they do in Germany.”

It was hard to stomach breakfast with your restless nerves shooting adrenaline through your veins. You anxiously plowed through two apples and started on your third just when Logan stepped onto the lower level. Everybody’s attention piqued, their heads turning, postures stiffening up against the chairs around the dining table.

When Gerri tentatively asked him who he had in mind as the sacrificial lamb, Logan waved her away.

“Enough. We stick together, alright? Most things don’t exist. The Ford motor company hardly exists—it’s just a time-saving expression for a collection of financial interests. But this exists, because…”

Roman leaned in close to mockingly whisper, “Family.”

“Family,” Logan finished. “We are a family. And so that’s why I think… I think the obvious choice is me.”

A ripple of shock coursed through the small group. Your eyes narrowed, unsure of what game Logan was playing at now.

“No,” Shiv vehemently said. “What? Dad, you—you can’t.”

Logan tilted his head. It wasn’t often he was told that he couldn’t. “Well, I may not be responsible, but the buck has to stop somewhere.”

The rest of the group erupted in protests. Tom, Kendall, Frank. They were all bleating sheep. Roman rolled his eyes.

“It doesn’t work,” Kendall elaborated. “When people find out Rhea isn’t coming in, we’d need stability. From you.”

Logan raised a single finger. “I need one meaningful skull to wave.” Wave didn’t seem quite the appropriate term. Chop off, maybe. Sever was a good one. “If the shareholders’ meeting was tomorrow, we lose. I need to persuade a number of big figures. So… would anyone like to say anything?”

Crackling silence. Across the table, Greg popped a fat green grape into his mouth.

“I’ll take care of whoever it is,” said Logan. “No one will be forgotten.”

Clearing his throat, Kendall ventured out, “Well, I mean, if we’re doing this, I don’t wanna spread shit around. We’re all loyal servants here. But, uh, I say this without malice aforethought, presumably, uhm, general counsel is the center of the web. Sorry, Gerri. I like you, I do.”

Logan reached out to put his hand over the blonde woman’s. “There is no one more loyal than Gerri,” he said, effectively dismissing the idea.

But you saw right through him. It wasn’t about Gerri’s loyalty. She wasn’t a big enough cut.

“What about Frank?” Roman offered. Everyone was well aware of his disdain for the older man. “How come Frank is even here today?”

Full of ire, Logan’s old friend nodded his head. “Thanks, Roman. I see it. I could take it. I mean, I make sense.”

“Yeah. And after what he did to you? The whole boardroom coup?” Roman lifted a shoulder, convinced that Frank was the most obvious choice.

“Water under the bridge.” Logan brushed away once more. Still not big enough.

After a long while of stammering, Frank finally coughed out, “I would say objectively, considering my, uh, my indiscretion against the family makes me a less compelling sacrifice. Unlike—uhm, for instance, a loyal servant like Karl.”

Instead of defending himself, Karl decided to turn the blade right back around to Gerri. “My thing is, I guess, if Rhea is no more, then sadly, we’re back to having Gerri as named successor. So that fattens her up for the kill, in my opinion.”

“Everyone knows I was just a name on a piece of paper,” defended the woman, laughing incredulously.

“Oh, don’t put yourself down. I think you were always more than that,” scoffed Karl. “And, you know, the old copy book is a bit blotty. Expense accounts… daughter’s first class on the company coin…”

“Karl sounds good!” Tom chimed in. “Sausage thief,” he bitterly muttered, in reference to the entire Boar on the Floor debacle in Hungary.

“Gerri is theoretically kind of perfect,” said Connor.

“No,” Roman was quick to protest. “Nope. That’s bullshit. I disagree.”

Propping his joined hands on the table, Logan asked, “Why?”

“Why? Because that’s my opinion,” Roman said in a defensive manner.

“Yeah… but your reasoning?”

With a hasty glance to you, Roman hastily spun out, “Seriously, Gerri? To pay for cruises? We, what, we take out our senior woman? Haven’t we, you know—kidding, here, but—killed enough women already?”

“It’d look orchestrated. Gerri is just too obvious,” you said, wrinkling your nose. “Sexual misconduct cases three decades ago, and we’d be placing the blame on general counsel and simply wiping our hands clean? Not to mention it’d just make Waystar look more… anti-women if we went down that route.”

Roman nodded. “Listen, I think the obvious choice here is, and I hate to say it because he’s such a swell guy, but—” he made a whistling noise and pointed to the man sitting across from him, “Tom.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, you're the head of cruises, man.”

Kendall pursed his lips. “I gotta agree with Rome here. Tom, I fucking love you dude, but you shat the bed over Mo Lester.”

“But I was sent in there as the fucking beating man—I took the fucking beating!”

Shiv shook the back of her head, making no effort to defend her husband.

“You got suckered in by Eavis,” said Kendall.

“I answered the questions!”

“You don’t answer the questions. Okay? That’s, like, rule one.” Kendall patted his brother-in-law’s shoulder. “I’m not beating up on you here, I’m just saying that he got a win off you and you’re kinda the face of this now.”

Lifting her head up high, Shiv said, “Tom looks logical. Cruises, document destruction. It’d be laid out for us.”

Tom’s gaze swiveled to his wife, expression utterly torn. “What?” he croaked out.

“I’m not saying you should be,” the red-head defended. “But I’m just saying you’re like family, but you’re not… actually family, which is also good. Tom, it’s the elephant in the room. We can say that!”

“No, we can’t! There’s absolutely no need to speak of the elephant in the room! There’s fifteen other fucking elephants in this room!” With an angry scoff, Tom threw both his hands up. “If you want someone who’s family but not family, what about Y/N?”

Immediately, Roman let out a high-pitched, “No! Why would it—why the fuck should it be her?”

Tom’s face contorted under the scrutiny. “I don’t know. General manager of Waystar, and goddaughter to Logan sounds like a good fucking steak to throw to the lions.” At your confused expression, Tom quickly backed down. “I’m not actually saying Y/N. I’m just saying things! It just—it shouldn’t be me. What about you, huh, Shiv?”

“Okay, fine. How do I work?” she hissed out.

“I don’t know!” Tom exclaimed, his voice raising a few notches in volume.

Gerri pursed her lips to the side and mentioned, “I mean, if we’re saying Shiv, we could highlight witness tampering and, uh, that she was going to take over but—I don’t know, it probably wouldn’t work.”

Shiv reared back as if she’d been stung. “Uh, yeah. Too fucking right it wouldn’t work. I don’t make sense, I’ve never been inside.”

“What about both of them? Shiv and Tom? Beauty and the beast,” Roman said.

“Does Tom work?” Logan asked. “Alone?”

A long beat of silence.

In all honesty, you thought he’d work. The missing documents were more than enough to go off of.

But Kendall shook his head, and it flew right out the window. “Honestly, I don’t think he’s a big enough skull. No offense.”

“Then how about Tom with some fucking… Greg sprinkles?” Roman asked, gesturing to his cousin, who’d managed to polish off all the grapes on the tray. One of the workers floated by to take the tray away, no doubt to fill it back up again.

“Greg sprinkles?” parroted Greg.

Wincing, you apologetically added, “I mean, you did destroy those documents for Tom, no? It’s—it's an aided crime. It works.”

Connor laughed. “Elmo and Big Bird. I could start to see that, yeah. You could throw in a Karl or a Frank, and you’re golden.”

“What—what precisely are Greg sprinkles?” asked the Roy cousin.

“Greg sprinkles are basically a fantastic garnish for practically anyone seated at this table,” Roman replied with a faux warm smile. “Like a Tom sundae with a little Greg cherry on top.” He popped his lips and Greg frowned.

“No, I object. I do. I mean—I’m more than a sprinkle! What about you, huh? What about Roman?”

“Roman?” you asked, cocking a brow. “How would he be a good candidate?”

“Well, he’s widely known as a terrible person!”

Roman snorted. “Thanks, Toe Jam.”

“There’s another elephant in the room,” Connor interrupted. “What about I just throw myself over the side, huh?”

Shiv laughed quietly, hiding her smile behind her palm.

“Yeah, just—in return for a payout. I’m cash strapped, so just lock me into that sweet, sweet golden parachute and toss me in the volcano!” said the oldest Roy sibling. On he blathered, about how he should be the one to take the fall.

Logan glanced around. “That’s… that’s kind of you, Con. Thank you. We’ll bear it in mind.” He smiled, but it wasn’t quite authentic. It wasn’t real. Connor slumped back, going largely ignored once again.

With that, Logan stood up. “We have half an idea but… yeah. Let’s do this later.”

Off he went, through the glass doors, gone to God knows where.

You and Roman exchanged a look. His was one of relief and gratitude, yours was one of exasperation. Then, Roman leaned forward to snatch the tray of grapes away from Greg, and offered a branch of the plump green fruits to you.

Dinner left a stale taste in your mouth. Maybe it was because you weren’t particularly fond of the served courses. Maybe it was because of the rocking motions of the boat upsetting your stomach. Or maybe—maybe it was because Logan had finally chosen his sacrificial lamb.

Kendall stood beside his father with pursed lips. Logan nodded to the sitting group. “I’ve decided,” he simply said.

Incredulity danced across Roman’s expression, brows raised. “Ken?” he asked. “Come on, really? Dad, you—no. There’s… what about the… one of the other shitfuckers?”

Your eyes darted from your godfather, to Kendall, who took a seat across from you. He met your eyes, if only for a brief moment. A part of you felt bad for him—after all, to you he was always going to be the eight-year-old boy draped in a suit far too large for him, practicing a speech in front of the mirror for a nameless award he was going to accept one day. He’d make you and Roman sit down and listen to him, four and five years of age, expectantly turning to the two of you after he was done and asking if it sounded okay. Desperate for approval, even if the assurance came from two young kids with missing teeth and bored eyes.

He was practically your brother. You averted your gaze with mild shame burning within your chest.

“Hey, it’s okay,” said Kendall. He looked around the table. “You’re all off the hook.”

Roman leaned forward and asked, uncharacteristically genuine, “You okay?”

Wordless, Kendall nodded. He was trying his best to stave away the frown tugging at the corners of his lips. There were tears warbling over his irises.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m good.”

But he wasn’t. Roman knew, and you knew, too.

Karl cleared his throat. “Is it just… I don’t wanna be rude here—is it just him?”

Gerri tilted her head. “First—uh, second-born son—with his responsibilities, it wouldn’t be a hard sell.”

“Roman,” said Logan. “You’re taking over as full chief operating officer.”

An indignant noise fell from his throat. “Yeah? What with Captain Cautious back in the other room?”

“No, no. Frank’s going to be responsible for the cruises clean up. You’re on your own. Solo.” Logan stared at his youngest son. “Can you handle it?”

Beneath the table, Roman’s jostling knee bumped into yours. “Yeah,” he unenthusiastically said. “That’s really exciting.”

Kendall spared his little brother a lopsided smile. “No, Rome. It’s great. For real.” Then, he raised a fork. “Eat up, guys. This one’s on me.”

Day three on the boat. You woke up to Roman’s arms wrapped around your midriff, his face buried in the fabric over your chest. He sleepily mumbled and whined when you dragged yourself (and, effectively, him as well, seeing as he refused to let go of you) out of bed. The two of you brushed your teeth together before you promptly kicked him out of your room so you could take a quick shower in peace.

By the time the both of you got down to have breakfast, Greg was the one to tell you that Kendall had left earlier in the morning.

“Right to his slaughter,” you mumbled to Rome, who’s face twisted with guilt.

An hour later, you were watching Kendall on the television. Shiv and Logan were on the couches, and Roman had both his hands resting on your shoulders, kneading your muscles as if you were a stress ball.

“I have been asked to explain my role in the management of illegality at the firm and associated cover ups. And it has been suggested that I would be a suitable figure to absorb the anger and concern,” said screen Kendall. To your surprise, his words were followed by, “But…”

You and Roman exchanged glances. He stopped working at your shoulders and crossed his arms.

“The truth is that my father is a malignant presence. He is a liar, a bully, and was fully aware of the events that had transpired on the cruise ships for many years, and made efforts to hide and cover up. He had a twisted sense of loyalty to bad actors like Lester McClintock, and a disregard for the safety of migrant workers, union and non-union workers, along with vulnerable performers and guests.”

“Fuck me,” Roman whispered. Logan silently lifted a finger to his lips to shush him.

The Kendall on screen was vastly different to the puppet Kendall you’d come to know for the past few months. He’d finally broken free of his strings.

“My father keeps a watchful eye over his entire empire, and the notion that he would have allowed millions of dollars of settlements and compensation to be paid without his explicit approval is utterly fanciful. I have with me today copies of records that show his personal sign-off. How much those of us who executed his wishes bear responsibility is for another day.”

Shiv briefly twisted around to shoot you an utterly dumbfounded look, as if to ask you if you’d known he was going to do this. You sent her an equally befuddled expression.

“But I think…” said Kendall, “This is the day his reign ends.”

With that, Kendall got up and walked off to the side, out of the camera’s view. You couldn’t see it, for Logan was facing the screen, but there was a slight smile on your godfather’s face.

#roman roy x reader #roman roy fanfiction #roman roy smut #roman roy fluff #roman roy series #roman roy ff #roman roy angst #roman roy x you #roman roy fanfic #succession roman #succession roman x reader #roman roy #succession fanfiction #succession x reader #roman roy imagine

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boldlyvoid · 11 months

Note

prompt: reader (or another character) taking care of spencer during a depressive episode

Home is where ever I'm with you

tw: depressive episode, Spencer going non-verbal/one-worded when he needs to speak, mentions of spencers anxiety/depression, his past trauma with maeve, case talk, food mention

wc: 1.8k

Morgan drives him home and walks him up the stairs to his apartment, “can I have your keys?” He asks, reid just nods and hands them to him.

He unlocks Spencer’s apartment and turns on the lights, waking up Spencer’s girlfriend who’s sleeping on the couch. “Hey…” she rubs her eyes, thinking it’s just Spencer. He didn’t know she was over, she came over when he said he was on his way home, and she failed to wait up for him.

“Hi?” Derek answers, “who are you?”

“I’m—

“Y/N,” Spencer finally speaks, he’s been nonverbal since the case ended. It was a bad case. He got a little hurt. All he wanted was to see her and it’s like she knew that.

“Oh,” Derek knows this is the person Spencer’s been talking to for a while now, he remembers all the times he caught Spencer staring at his phone with a smile. This was his new love.

He drops his bag on the ground and rushes over to her, burying his face in her neck and holding her impossibly close. She wraps her arms around him, “I’m here, I’ve got you, baby.”

“Thank you,” Derek shoots her a smile, backing up towards the door. “Have him text me later when he’s feeling better?”

“Will do, thank you, Derek,” she shoots him a smile, knowing him from all Spencers stories. She gives him a little wave as he closes the apartment door, and then they’re alone. “Do you want to eat, have a shower or go to bed?”

“Shower,” he whispers, pulling back he looks at her with such sad eyes. “I’m tired.”

“So we’ll get in the bath,” she whispers, cupping his face in her hands. “I’ve got you.”

She gets him into the bathroom, helps him strip down and she puts a towel over the closed toilet seat. He takes a seat while she runs the bath water, he has the coolest bathtub. His apartment is so old yet a lot of it is newly renovated, his tub is one of those old claw-foot tubs, it’s pretty big and they’ve fit in it together before.

She reaches into the cupboard under his sink and gets the pail she uses to wash his hair when he’s sitting down in the tub. This isn’t the first time she’s done this, it won’t be the last either. The first time she had to take care of him, he felt so awful, he felt like a kid… but from what she’s heard about his childhood, even as a kid, he didn’t have someone to take care of him like this.

She helps him into the tub, she sits on a little stool outside the tub for a moment and then he looks at her with pleading eyes, he wants her to get in too. So she carefully strips and gets into the water right behind him, letting him rest against her chest. She has a washcloth and she covers it in soap, she runs it along his chest and his shoulders, washing the case off him. She kisses his head and right behind his ear, “You can talk to me whenever you’re ready…”

He hums, he knows. He’s just unable to get any words out yet. That’s completely okay. It must’ve been really bad. The last time that this happened, he had to kill someone. That’s the worst part about the job. He hates it. He firmly believes that no matter what someone did, they don’t deserve to die. People can be rehabilitated, they may not be able to change, but you can learn more from a killer when they’re alive than when they’re dead. More people get saved with their prison interviews.

“Scoot forward,” she requests and he does. She gets the pail and fills it with water, “tilt your head back for me?”

He listens again, letting her run the water over his hair so she could wash it for him. He reaches out for the shampoo and hands it back to her, she lathers it up in her hands and starts to run it through his hair. It lathers up… fine but his hair was greasy, she knows if she washes it out and does it again, it’ll actually work this time. So she rinses it out, reapplies the shampoo and watches it bubble up a lot more. He leans his head back even more, clearly enjoying the way she’s managing his scalp. She keeps going just so he can feel some semblance of peace today. He deserved it.

When she does rinse it out again, he sighs, “Thank you.”

“You know I’d do anything for you, Spence,” she whispers before pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Nothing happened,” he whispers back. “I’m just low… I think I need to go back on my meds.”

“We can call and make an appointment with your psychiatrist in the morning,” she suggests. “Is it just depression or is there also anxiety?”

“Both,” he says with a nod. “I listened to my meditations on the way home but it’s still bad.”

“Do you want me to order you that good salmon rice bowl and get you some more magnesium supplements?”

“Would you mind?” He worries.

She leans over his shoulder and turns his face to the side. “Spence, I’m never going to mind.”

“Thank you,” he says with tears in his eyes.

She simply kisses him, “Do you want to get out?

He nods moving away from her so she can get out of the tub first. She’s quick to dry herself and then hold open a towel to wrap around him once he stands up. She picks up her clothes from the floor so he can step out and not get them wet. “I’m going to the bedroom, I’ll see you in there?”

“Okay,” he agrees, taking a moment to brush his hair in the mirror.

She sets out his favourite comfy clothes and gets into a pair of her pjs that stay in his room for times like these. She changes first and then heads back out to the living room to get her phone so she can order them some food. It’s not too late, so it’ll be no problem getting a delivery. When she makes her way back into the bedroom, Spencer has all the lights out except his little fairy lights, he’s changed into the outfit she picked out for him and getting into bed. She smiles at him, “Comfy?”

He nods, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love,” she says again, never tiring of all his appreciation. She hops into bed with him. “The food will be here in half an hour… did you want to watch something or read? Maybe listen to some music?”

He sighs, thinking it over. “You can pick the show. I just want to sit with you.”

“Okay,” she understands that. “I love you, you know?”

He nods, smiling building, “I know… I love you.”

She leans over and shares a kiss with him, she cups his cheek and runs her thumb over his prickly facial hair. When she pulls back, she keeps rubbing his cheek with her thumb, “You’re okay, you’re safe, I’m not going anywhere.”

Those are 3 things she knows his anxiety and likes to tell him lies about. His brain convinces him she won’t stay if he’s ‘hard to take care of.’ His brain makes him think that he’s constantly fighting for his life… the adrenaline in his body is too strong, so a simple “you’re okay” or “you’re safe” can change his whole mindset. She’s sat in with him at therapy, she’s learned all the things that set him off and what makes him comfortable, and she’d do anything to make sure that he stays safe. That he stays alive and with her. Even if one day he decided he didn’t love her anymore, there’s nothing she wants more than for him to keep living.

He snuggles into her side, she opens up his laptop and heads right to Netflix, resuming where they were in Grey’s Anatomy the last time she was over. Sure, this shows intense, but the plot is fun to follow, he can tell her what medical facts aren’t true and even try to guess the endings. He loves how she’s already seen it all yet she won’t ever tell him if he’s correct with his guesses… but he’s good at his job, he can tell when she’s trying to pretend he isn’t right. It’s fun for them.

And then their food arrives, they both head out to the kitchen to put it on plates, get real silverware and put their drinks in a glass with ice. They put the laptop on the tiny kitchen table, sit side by side and eat in silence while their show is on. She watches him eat the whole plate, she sees the colour return in his cheeks and his eyes start to get heavy when the carb dump starts to rush through his veins. He’s tired. But she makes him stay up another hour so the food can digest before they head back into the bedroom.

“Can you text Derek,” she suggests, handing him his phone. “Tell him you’re doing better and thank him for the ride home.”

“Okay,” he takes the phone from her and does just that. “Derek says thank you for taking care of me.”

“It’s my pleasure… maybe we can go out for lunch with him this weekend?” She suggests.

He nods, “Yeah… if I’m feeling better.”

“Of course,” she would never rush him. “I’d like to meet everyone at some point.”

“I like that you don’t know them,” he admits. “Then you can’t get hurt.”

There’s another anxious thought.

“I’m not going to get hurt,” she assures him. She wraps her arms around him and looks up into his eyes, “I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I will kill someone with my bare hands to come home to you.”

He manages to smile a bit, “Me too… maybe we could live together? For real?”

She lights right up, “Yeah, yeah I would love that. I mean, maybe not here… this place is already crowded when I visit, but we could start looking for a new apartment together?”

“I’d like that. I’d like to start something fresh and new with you. I think we deserve a happy little place just for us,” he explains, its the most he’s said tonight. He must be feeling better. “I love being with you. I wish you were here all the time.”

“Me too, Spence, that’s why I ran over here tonight,” she shares. “I felt like you’d need some us time.”

“You’re too good to me,” he wraps her up in his arms. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Me either.”

#Spencer reid #Spencer reid smut #Spencer reid fanfiction #Spencer reid fanfic #Spencer reid imagine #Spencer reid x reader #Spencer reid x y/n #Spencer reid x you #Spencer reid self insert #Spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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wh0re43van · 5 months

Text

Reflections- (Warren Lipka X Reader)

Summary: You’re Spencer’s older sister that had to come home after getting kicked out of college. Upon the return, you’re reconnected with the walking asshole that is your brothers best friend.

Word count: 7k

Warnings: smut, weed, alcohol, mention of roofie, slow burn, hate fuck

A/n: I managed to cut this down a good bit, but this is the best I could do because I love plot I’m sorry 😭 also I’m very high so this probably isn’t proof read very well- I will be proofing it better in the near future!

I hang out my window, breathing in the night air after I take a hit off my joint. I sigh, wondering what I’m still doing in my childhood bedroom at age 21. I got kicked out of college two months ago and I still haven’t gotten my life back on track. I have a job interview lined up and I’ve been painting commissions, but I just feel like I’m 14 again. My parents made it seem like I’ve completely fucked up my life and paint me as the pot smoking-drop out, so maybe I should just embrace it.

I groan when I realize that I’ve been thinking too long and joint my has gone out. I hold my favorite zippo up to re-light it when I hear my door fly open, knocking into my dresser. I gasp, whipping around quickly as I accidentally launch my lighter across the floor in the startle. I groan in annoyance when I see my idiot brother and his even more idiotic shadow standing in my doorway.

“Close the door you fucking idiots! Mom’s down there!” I whisper angrily. Spencer pushes Warren into the room and closes the door quickly.

“Sorry,” my brother says awkwardly.

“Damn. You still smoke even after it, like, completely ruined your life?” Warren laughs, motioning to my joint.

“Oh shut up. I got caught with a single gram on campus and they made a big deal out of it; I mean come on it’s 2004 for Christ sake,” I roll my eyes, irritated that he would even bring that up, but it is Warren, so I expect nothing else. “What do you two fuck heads want?” I ask as I walk over to turn off my iPod so I can hear them better.

“Nothing! Uhm just wanted to see how the best big sister in the world is doing,” Spencer laughs unconvincingly as he attempts to lean casually against my dresser, knocking over my perfume bottles in the process. “Shit,” he mumbles as he picks the plastic bottles up off the floor. I roll my eyes, not believing him for a second. Warren looks at Spencer, scoffs, then looks back at me.

“We want you to buy us beer,” he says flatly with his hands in his pockets. I raise my brows at him, now it’s my turn to scoff.

“You come in my room, give me a heart attack, almost let mom know that I’m smoking, knock over everything on my dresser, then ask me to buy you beer?” I ask, trying to understand why they thought this was a good idea. The boys look at each other then back to me.

“Yes,” they say in unison firmly, but not confidently.

“Get the fuck out,” I sigh. Spencer mutters ‘sorry’ before turning to walk out the door. Warren closes the door behind my brother then looks at me, tilting his head to the side.

“Why are you such a bitch?” The grungy boy asks curiously. I give him a face of disgust.

“Because you go out of your way to piss me off.” I huff, stepping closer to him, sticking a finger into his chest. He smacks my hand away.

“Ew,” Warren gags dramatically. “Don’t touch me,” he mutters before turning around to open my door, flipping me off then closing it behind him.

I plop down on my bed grabbing a nice, soft pillow, then shove it to my face, letting out a blood curdling scream.

‘Why!? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?’ I think to myself. I quite literally feel like I’m back in middle school with: Dumb and Dumber constantly pestering me, Warrens stupid fucking remarks, hiding in my room with my joint, and my parents being disappointed in me. Jesus, this is all such awful déjà vu.

I Take a deep breath, then make my way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower. I walk into the hall bathroom then turn on our shower to warm up the water. I strip down then turn on the shower radio to the local rock station. To my pleasant surprise, they’re playing ‘Scum bag’ by Greenday.

‘Best infomercial purchase mom made this month,’ I think to myself as I lather up my body wash, letting out a content sigh. I finally start to relax.

Knock, knock, knock

“Y/n, I have to piss!” Warren shouts through the door. I groan, flinging the shower curtain open after turning off the water.

“Hold it, Butt-fuck! I just got in,” I shout back in annoyance. He bangs on the door again.

“Just let me in!” His voice is muffled coming through the wood.

“No, Warren!” I huff, wondering how one boy could be so annoying. “Piss outside!” I scream over the music, then turn the water back on and resume my shower. His knocking continues for another minute or two, but he eventually gives up.

I finish my shower in peace then wrap the towel around myself. I quickly run to my room and close the door behind me.

“What the fuck!” I shout when I see warren standing in my closet with his hands behind his back.

“Don’t you know it’s rude not to knock?” he snickers. I scowl at him, holding the short white towel to my body as tight as possible.

“It’s my- What the hell are you doing in here?” I ask exasperated as I step towards him.

“Spencer says you do that nerdy makeup shit for ren fairs or whatever, and I need to borrow your supplies,” he sighs, sounding irritated even though he’s the one snooping though my stuff. I fiddle with my towel, uncomfortable at how his gaze keeps wondering down to where the fabric ends, barely long enough to cover my ass.

“What the fuck do you need that for?” I frown, not understanding why on earth he would need special effects makeup. His eyes follow a trickle of water that drips from my hair down my chest and between my breasts. I shift awkwardly, wishing that this interaction would end already.

“That’s not important,” he steps towards me. “Just let me see what you have,” he says simply with his hands in his pant pockets. I groan in frustration.

“No, you fart-catcher! I just caught you going through my shit, get out!” I scream, stomping my foot in anger, which causes the towel to slide off my breast a bit. I quickly pull it back into place, my cheeks burn pink from embarrassment and anger. Warrens eyes flutter from my chest up to my face, his lips curl into a small smirk.

“Alright,” he shrugs before walking towards my door. With his back to me, he takes his wallet out of his pocket and drops it on the floor. “Y/n,” he tisks, looking at me over his shoulder with that ever familiar mischievous glint in his dark eyes. “Would you pick that up for me? I can’t bend over, I hurt my back at my last game,” he asks with mock sincerity, his gaze focused on how short the towel is. He knows if I bend over my entire ass will be exposed. I look at him with pursed lips, furrowed brows, and bright pink cheeks, letting out an irritated sigh. He grins at how successfully he’s pissed me off.

I stomp over and open my bedroom door, then stomp back to his wallet, kicking it as hard as I can out the doorway and down the steps.

“Get out!” I seethe as I shove the snickering idiot out of my room, locking the door behind me. I groan, flopping down face first onto my bed. I lay there a minute, before deciding to smoke a bowl and get my pajamas on.

I retrieve my bowl and my stash from its old hiding spot behind my bookshelf.

I break up the weed and pack the small bowl, then I realize that I cant find my lighter. I check my bag again, then look around my window and on the floor. I let out a loud groan, kicking my nightstand in anger. My nerves are completely shot, this minor inconvenience is about to send me on a rampage.

With a defeated sigh, I grab a cheap Bic lighter out of my purse. I wouldn’t care so much if it wasn’t my favorite lighter. The silver zippo was a gift from an ex-boyfriend. He had my name engraved on one side and the skull and bat wings from the cover of the Avenged Sevenfolds ‘Waking the Fallen’ album on the other. It’s the single coolest possession I have.

I grab my iPod off the speaker, then hook my headphones into it before climbing out my window onto my roof. With the cheap plastic lighter I take a hit then lay back on the cool shingles, my muscles relaxing as Rob Zombie plays in my ears. I close my eyes as the crescent moon shines her white light down on my face. I take another hit, sighing happily as I get comfortable. Finally, some peace.

‘Hold on,’ I shoot up, furrowing my brow in thought. ‘I dropped my lighter when numbnuts busted into my room. I never picked it up, and when I caught warren in here, he had something behind his back… Warren,’ my epiphany makes my ears burn red.

“Goddamn it Warren!” I shout, completely fed up with his shit, as I clamber back through my window. “Why the fuck is that shit head here all the time,” I mumble to myself as I put my bowl away. I spray some air freshener and close my window before stomping down the hallway, barging into my brothers room. Warren sits by himself in Spencer’s bed, playing some stupid video game on the PlayStation- my brother no where in sight.

“Where is it?” I bellow, standing between warren and the tv like an angry mother. I hold my hand out in front of his face as if the little asshole would just hand it over.

“Dude! Get out of the way!” Warren groans, his eyes not even meeting mine as he uses his foot to scoot me out over, but he knocks me off my balance and I fall directly on top of him.

“Warren!” I squeal, managing to catch myself with my arms on either side of his head. We exchange a shocked look before that stupid, sly smirk creeps onto his face, reminding me that I’m furious at him. “Give me my shit!” I shout in his face, hovering over top of him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he shrugs, his smirk never faltering. This is it. He’s going to make me snap. I grab his shirt pulling his face up to mine, my face flushed In anger.

“I see through your little act,” I say through gritted teeth, almost in a whisper. He looks at me with wide eyes. “You act like you’re hot shit. You think that just because you sell a little green on the side and pocket other peoples shit that you’re a man, but you’re so far from it. You’re just a 19 year old boy who still needs his daddy to wipe his ass for him,” I all but spit into his face, leaning closer with every syllable. His face slowly contorts into pure rage. He stands up from the bed and pushes my back against the wall.

Warrens hostile glare burns deep into my eyes as his hands grip my shoulders so hard that his knuckles turn white. The drywall is cool on my hot skin as warren peers down on me, making me feel so small in his grasp.

“You don’t know shit about me, bitch!” Warren says in a tone that I’ve never heard from him before- he nearly growls at me. This shows that I’ve seriously pissed him off; I smile up at him, unable to hold back the joy- and a bit of excitement - bubbling in my stomach. His lips are pulled in a straight line, nostrils flared and his jaw locked as he grips onto my shirt, making his biceps flex.

“Unfortunately, I know you very well, Warren. Your entire life you’ve been putting up this front of false confidence. Always thinking you’re special, somehow always convincing yourself that the rules don’t apply to you; You’re a pathetic burn out,” I say simply, batting my lashes up at him, enjoying the reaction- and our proximity. His nostrils flare as he pounds his fists on either side of my head.

“You’re the fucking burn out!” He raises his voice, a bit of spit lands on my face as the harsh words drip from his tongue. I reach my hand up, wiping the salvia off.

“Yeah, but I can admit it,” I whisper as I lean up to his flushed face, our noses brushing against each other. I do mu best to ignore the stirring in my stomach when our skin touches. Warren glances down at my lips, his chest still heaving with anger and his arms resting by my head. His angry eyes meet mine. The moonbeam coming through the window illuminates half of warrens face in a white light. I just now notice how much he’s changed. How mature he looks now, especially when he has me backed against the wall with a death grip on my shoulders. He just begins to dip his head down when the bedroom door swings open.

“Sorry man, mom wanted help with- Woah…” Spencer pauses, almost dropping the snacks from his arms. Warren jumps back, the rage on his face replaced with shock as my brother looks between us with a slack jaw. Warren clears his throat awkwardly.

“You need to control your sister, dude,” he gives me a dirty look, walking up and taking a bag of Cheetos from Spencer. I step away from the wall, adjusting my outfit.

‘What the fuck just happened?’

“Uhm, no. Spencer you need to control your friend. He’s a fucking klepto! He took the lighter kyle got for me!” I explain as I point accusingly at Warren who’s already settled into the bed, munching on the junk food

“Oh, you mean the guy that cheated on you?” he asks before he takes a sip out of a two liter of dr. pepper. “Twice,” he adds before letting out a gross belch. I look at him in disgust, then in offense. My ears burn red in anger once again. I let out an irritated grunt as I push past spencer towards the door.

“So it’s no then?” Spencer asks, stopping me in my tracks.

“What?” I ask as I turn to face him. My brother glances between Warren and me.

“You’re not gonna help us?” Spencer asks, looking confused.

“Spencer what the hell are you talking about?” I groan, still upset about what was happened with Warren.

“He didn’t even-“ Spencer scoffs, turning to look at Warren. “You didn’t even ask her?” He asks his friend. Warren just shrugs as he picks up the PlayStation controller.

“For the last time I am not getting you idiots beer,” I groan.

“No! We need your makeup skills,” Spencer explains. Warren stands up from the bed, stomping in disapproval.

“We don’t need her. We just need the makeup,” he groans nudging Spencer a bit. I look at the boys in extreme confusion.

“Explain,” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“We’re Uhm, doing a project and we were wondering if you could make us look like old men,” Spencer says avoiding eye contact, scratching the back of his neck. He’s acting even weirder than normal.

“Uhm, yeah. Hypothetically I could if I had the proper products,” I say putting my hands on hips, wondering where this conversation is going.

“No. We just need the products we don’t need you,” Warren whines, seeming even more admit on keeping me out of their plans than usual.

“Okay whatever. Give me the money and I’ll get you guys the shit tomorrow evening,” I sigh.

‘I’m such a good big sister’

“Well we have that party with Chas tomo-“ Spencer starts but Warren slaps his hand over my brothers face.

“Party?” My ears perk up.

“No,” Warren says sternly. “We’re not bringing your lame ass to the party of the year,” he groans.

“No party, no makeup,” I shrug, crossing my arms. Spencer pulls Warren’s hand away from his face.

“Deal,” Spencer smiles. Warren gives him a death glare as I skip out of the room.

The next evening I’m stood in front of my closet sifting through my clothes. I have to admit that I’m excited to be getting dressed up. I settle on black denim mini skirt, studded belt and a cropped and distressed Misfits shirt. I take the time to do my makeup, smudging the black pencil liner around my eyes and applying a burgundy lip stick.

“Y/n come on!” I hear Warren shout from outside. I run over and stick my head out my open window.

“I’m coming!” I holler before slamming the glass shut, then shove my smoke bag into my purse.

I hop down the steps, skipping past my mother.

“I’ve never seen you so excited to go somewhere with those two,” my mom attempts a joke as I slip on my beat up converse.

“Free alcohol,” I shrug with a smirk before skipping out the front door.

“Y/n,” my mother’s disappointed voice gets cut off by the heavy wood slamming shut. I giggle to myself as I run to Chas’s car. I hear the door open again and my brothers foot steps approaching behind me.

“Come on guys were so late!” the meat head shouts from the driver’s seat window. My brother and I scramble into the car. Before I realize it, I’m sandwiched in between Warren and spencer with Chas and some nerdy guy in the front.

As I search around for the middle seatbelt, I notice warren staring at me. he’s wearing a white t-shirt that fits him very well with a pair of light, baggy blue jeans. It appears that he even took the time to brush his hair. He almost looks good.

“What?” I scowl at warren, wondering why he’s looking at me like that. He clears his throat, shaking his head a bit as if he didn’t realize he was ogling at me.

“J-just wondering why you let a clown do your makeup,” he laughs. I huff then punch him in the arm as hard as I can, causing warren to scream out.

“See this is-” I start to shout but I’m cut off when Chas whips his steering wheel sharply, sending me flying toppling into warren and causing warren to hit his head on the window.

“Shut up!” Chas groans. Warren and I exchange angry looks as we settle back into our seats, the rest of the ride is quiet.

The house packed full of sweaty college kids bumping and grinding into each other. The smell of alcohol and B.O flood my senses as I shimmy my way through the sea of kids packed in the narrow hallway. I finally make it to the kitchen where a bunch of frat boys are shot gunning beer. Girls surround them, completely wasted but doing their best to root for whichever guy they’re planning on fucking tonight. The loud, shitty, pop music rings through my ears as I step closer to the commotion. A tall blonde guy from the back of the group turns to me, looking me up and down with a grin.

“Hey you want in?” He holds his hand out, offering me a Budweiser. I consider it, but decide that I don’t want to be covered in beer all night.

“Uh, nah,” I nudge his hand away from me. He is cute though. “But I’ll cheer you on,” I smirk, looking up at the random guy, holding up my house key. The boy grins from ear to ear, taking the key out of my hand. He punctures the can before quickly opening the tab, downing the beer almost professionally. I cheer the boy on with words of encouragement. He drops the can to the floor then holds his hands up with a righteous scream, the crowd goes wild. He turns to me, wiping his face then slings his arm over my shoulder.

“Wow, I’m impressed,” I laugh. He adjusts his crooked snap-back as he leads me to the dance floor.

“Yeah you should be,” he chuckles as he guides me through the crowd of dancing bodies.

We dance for a few songs, slowly getting more handsy with each other. As my back bumps against him to the beat of the song, I make eye contact with Warren from across the room. He has a drink in one hand and his other on a girls waist as she kisses on his neck.

To my surprise, rather than looking away, he holds my gaze his he runs his hand down her back, grabbing her ass. I fight back a blush that attempts to creep onto my cheeks by averting my gaze.

‘Disgusting.’ I mentally barf as I turn my back to warren, wrapping my hands around the boys neck, his hands instinctively fall to my hips. He leans closer to my ear as we dance lazily in step with the beat.

“So what’s your name?” the boy shouts over the music.

“Y/n,” I answer, smiling up at him. “What about you, shotgun champion?” I giggle.

“Ethan,” he smiles. “Well, y/n, I’m going to go get you a drink,” he winks. I smile, thanking him. Once I tun back around, I notice that warren and the girl are gone.

‘Damn, that dude moves quick,’ I wonder how he manages to get girls to sleep with him so fast when he’s so insufferable and annoying. I dance by myself for a bit as I await Ethan’s return.

“Here you go,” Ethan smiles, handing me a red solo cup full of what appears to be spiked Hawaiian punch. I smile, thanking him as I accept the sickeningly sweet drink. I hold the plastic to my lips, but before I can take a sip, it’s knocked out of my hands. The cold liquid spills down my shirt before the cup hits the ground.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I hear the familiar tone of Warrens voice shout as he shoves Ethan against the living room wall. Everyone around us stops, turning to see what fight is about to break out. My cheeks burn red in anger and embarrassment.

“Waren what-” I manage to shout in the confusion. “You’re such a fucking asshole!” I shriek, completely fed up with his bullshit. I stomp towards the staircase, all eyes on me as crimson punch drips down my chest and legs. I open every door in the hallway until I find the bathroom.

I slam the door behind me before leaning onto the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I scream out in frustration, my pulse beating to the bass of the music downstairs.

“What the fuck is wrong with Warren?” I complain to myself as I grab a handful of paper towels, attempting to absorb the drink that has soaked into my outfit. I pause when I hear the doorknob turning behind me. I watch Warrens figure appears in the bathroom mirror.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he steps towards me. His tone.. it almost sounds... concerned. I ignore his possible sincerity and instead throw the sopping wet paper towels at him.

“No, I’m not fucking okay! You ruined my outfit!” I scowl at him. His once concerned expression quickly contorts into the ever familiar annoyed glower he’s always dawning in my presence.

“You’re so fucking stupid y/n!” Warren shouts, stepping closer to me. The yellow lights highlight his clenched jaw. My mouth widens in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” I ask, now pissed off even more. Warren leans back, pushing his hair out of his face then groans in irritation.

“You almost got fucking roofied y/n! I knew that guy was bad news. I happened to be walking past the kitchen when I saw him drop something into your drink!” he explains while pacing in front of me. I roll my eyes, not believing him.

“Oh come on! You expect me to believe that? With your track record, I have every reason to believe that you were just being an immature asshole finding a way to fuck with me,” I step up to him, looking into his eyes that are flooded with frustration.

“Are you fucking- I just saved your ass big time!” Warren shouts, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Oh please,” I roll my eyes, crossing my arms, too angry to look at him. Warren sticks an angry finger in my face.

“You are such an ungrateful fucking brat,” he says lowly, his tone sends chills down my spine. He grips my jaw, turning my head to look up at him. The angry boy glowers down at me, his face just inches from mine. “Say thank you,” he demands through gritted teeth. I roll my eyes once again.

“Fuck. You.” I whisper looking directly into his apoplectic eyes. After a beat, he grips my jaw even harder, yanking may lips to his. I freeze in shock for just a second before returning the instantly bruising kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, suddenly desperate for his touch. Within seconds, years of pent-up aggression and sexual tension finally comes to a head.

“You piss me off so much,” he growls against my lips as his hands grip my ass so tight it hurts, making me bite back a whimper. “Jump,” his voice comes out a gruff whisper. I obey, jumping to wrap my legs around his waist as he backs me against the wall, his lips never parting from mine. His nails dig into my thighs as he begins to grind against my crotch, the friction making me moan lightly against his lips. Anger and lust course through my veins as I tighten my legs around him, forcing his hips closer to mine. As much as I want to hate this, the truth is that I’ve never wanted any man more than I want warren right now. I’m disgusted with myself, but oh so desperate for the boy I’ve despised most of my life.

“Fuck, I hate how much I want this,” I whine desperately against his lips, pulling away only to slip off my shirt. Warren chuckles before setting me onto my feet. His chest heaves as he strips himself of his white t shirt.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to see you like this,” he says softly, his eyes following his hand as it glides gently over my body. I shiver under his touch as his fingers easily undo my bra, I allow it to fall to the ground. His eyes meet mine as he undoes his belt. “Bend over,” Warren smirks, motioning to the counter top. Biting back a smile, I happily turn around, resting my elbows on the counter. I spread my legs and wiggle my ass, knowing that he has a full view of panties under my mini skirt. I feel his hand push the denim fabric up, then he slides my underwear down my legs, leaving me exposed to him.

“Holy shit,” he groans quietly as he dips a finger into my sopping heat. He drags my slick up to rub circles on my clit. I bite my lip in attempt to hold back a whimper. “Is it me that you’re this wet for, or do you just have some weird degradation kink?” he asks as he slips a finger in my entrance, I gasp at the contact.

“Oh shut the-“ I begin, but cut myself off with a loud moan as his hand comes down harshly on my ass, the slap rings through the bathroom.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he laughs as he slips another finger in, pumping faster. His other hand brushes over the stinging handprint left on my ass. I whimper at how good it hurts.

I hate how right he is. I hate how much he’s enjoying this. I hate how he knows exactly where to curl his fingers inside me to earn the loudest moan. “Mm that’s the prettiest sound that’s ever come out of your mouth,” he chuckles as he reaches his other hand around to toy with my clit. I arch my back, biting my lip in an attempt to keep the symphony of pleasure from spilling from my mouth. I’m trying desperately not give him the satisfaction of praise, but it’s proving to be impossible.

“You’re such a dick,” I say lowly, unable to think of a good comeback as my eyes flutter shut, that familiar tension in my stomach building.

Warren pulls away completely, leaving me feeling empty and irritated. I stand up with a frown, spinning around to yell at him, but he grabs my arm and my waist, repositioning me back over the counter.

“Uh uh,” he chuckles using one hand to grip my hair, holding my head up so that I can see him in the mirror. With the other hand, he drops his pants and boxers, giving his- much larger than expected- length a few good bumps. My knees buckle at the sight behind me. “You’re gonna stay just like this and watch me fuck you,” he growls as he uses his foot to kick my legs a bit further apart. I watch his reflection as he brings his fingers up to his mouth, spitting on them before spreading the slick gently over my folds. As he lines his length up with my entrance, he holds my gaze through the mirror, sliding into me slowly. He lets out a loud groan, his grip on my hair tightening.

The way that he fills me up is unlike any other. Squeezing my eyes shut, I do my best to hold back my whimpers as I adjust to his size. He gives me only a few seconds before he starts slamming into me.

“Fuck!” I scream in shock as I clasp my hands over my mouth. Warrens strong grip is soon ripping my fingers away from my face.

“Now You’re want to be quiet? After all the times I’ve told you shut this pretty mouth of yours…” he grabs my cheeks, sticking a finger in my mouth as he rams his cock into me. “Now you want to hold back?” He lets out a devilish chuckle, before slapping my ass even harder than last time. He uses my hair to pull my head up making sure that I’m watching him.

His strong grip holds tightly onto my hair and my waist, making the veins very prominent in his arms. His toned torso glistens in a thin sheet of sweat as his hips buck mercilessly into me. My toes curl when I see the way he’s watching me. His eyes are dark with lust as they study every feature of my body in the mirror. His jaw hangs slack, but there’s a never faulting smirk on his face as if this is something he’s been waiting on for a while.

He releases my hair to reach down and rub figure eights onto my sensitive bundle of nerves. That and they way that he’s hitting the perfect spot with every deep thrust and the way he looks at me is enough to send me over the edge.

“Fuck! Warren!” I moan out in such a pathetic tone that I can’t believe it came from my own mouth. My legs begin to shake and breathing becomes shallow as I clench around him.

“That’s it baby. Scream my name in pleasure for a change,” he growls in my ear. My eyes are clenched shut, but I can hear the smirk in his voice. If the music wasn’t playing 100 decibels over OSHA standards and every single person wasn’t black out drunk, I might be concerned that someone might hear us.

“Oh god… fuck Warren! I’m cumming please don’t stop! Just like that please!” My words come out a desperate whine with each breath punctuated by his hips thrusting into me as I come undone around him. My legs give out as pure euphoria floods my system. My eyes roll back in my head as Warren holds me up with help from counter.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he grunts out, his thrusts becoming sloppy and erratic as low growls and moans slip out between his heavy breaths.

Warren pulls out of me as I lay with my head down on the cool counter trying to collect my thoughts. I feel him release onto my back. The warm seed dripping down my ass as strings of profanities fall from Warrens kiss bruised lips.

“Holy shit,” he pants out in a whisper. I hold my head up to see him in the mirror behind me, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. His chest rising and falling quickly as he wipes sweat from his forehead. As if he could feel me looking, he opens his eyes. That stupid fucking smirk quickly returning on his flushed face. He watches his cum drip down my ass and onto the floor. He silently walks to the toilet paper, then- to my surprise- he cleans me up. Silently, with a content smile, he wipes himself off me.

“Uh, thanks,” I say shyly with a bit of red creeping up to my cheeks. I find my underwear and slip them back on as Warren puts his pants on.

“Don’t mention it,” he winks, very obviously proud of himself.

“So uhm,” I start as I slide my dress back on. I don’t even know how to act; I feel so awkward and it’s pissing me off how casual Warren is being. “Do we just chalk this up to the alcohol?” I rub my neck awkwardly as Warren pulls his shirt over his head. He lets out a light laugh.

“Well I’m not drunk. Are you?” He asks, already knowing the answer. I shake my head no as find my sticky, stained skirt and step into it. Warren chuckles, walking up behind me looking at our reflections in the mirror. “Well, on the bright side I made your make look better,” he laughs with a wink, motioning at the mascara running down my face and burgundy lipstick smudged around my mouth.

“Oh fuck off!” I huff, shoving him. He slaps my ass one last time before opening the door and stepping out. I look at myself in the mirror, waiting for the feeling of disgust to overcome my body… but it never comes. As I wet a paper towel and attempt to make my face look presentable, I can’t help but smile. The smile turns to a giggle. The giggle turns to a loud laugh. I cannot begin to explain or even understand what I’m feeling, but pure joy is bubbling through my body. It must be some kind of weird post nut clarity.

I grab my purse then step out the door, expecting Warren to be gone, but to my pleasant surprise, he’s leaning over the banister right outside the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I ask as I step up beside him, assuming the same position.

“Trying to spit in people’s drinks,” he says flatly, not looking my way before a blob of spit falls from his mouth, landing on some random girls forehead. She looks around in drunken confusion, unable to identify the source. “Hey bonus points,” he laughs, turning to me with his hands held up in victory. I roll my eyes, but I’m unable to hide the smile that creeps onto my face.

“I uhm- I think I’m gonna walk home. I need a shower,” I tell him awkwardly. I’m so unsure of how to act now and him being so normal isn’t helping.

“Oh, I’ll walk you,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. I look at him in confusion.

“What?” I ask, unsure if I heard him correctly.

“I’m going to walk you home, dumbass,” he shrugs taking step, expecting me to follow behind him- I do, of course.

We push through the crowds of dancing kids and out the front door. My ears ring as we step out onto the empty street, the silence is quite the change from the loud frat party behind us.

We walk in almost comfortable silence. My house is about a 40 minute walk away, but it seems so much shorter as I’ve been using the time to sort out my emotions- which I’m not having much success with.

I grab my cell phone out of my pocket, texting Spencer that I’m headed home so that he doesn’t worry.

“Who are you texting?” Warren asks simply as if he’s been trying to find something to start a conversation. He pulls a pack of menthols out of his pocket, holding the box towards me. I smile, taking one of the sticks and popping it into my mouth.

“Spencer. I figure I should let him know where I went,” I explain as we walk down the dim and empty sidewalk. The cool late summer air makes the orange flame flicker in the wind as it illuminates Warrens face in the evening dusk. The end of his cigarette glows a dark crimson as he lets out a puff of smoke. He stops, then looks down at me as he rests his fingers on my cheek, his other hand bringing the lighter up to my cigarette. I stare up at him, admiring how the orange light highlights his handsome features. The flame reflects in his dark eyes that are fixated on my lips. I breath in, igniting the cig.

“Thanks,” I smile, exhaling through my nose as we resume our walk.

“Ya know, I really did save your life back there,” Warren grins with a nudge from the same hand that’s holding his cigarette.

“You actually saw that dude slip something in my drink?” I ask, looking at him with raised brows.

“Yep. That girl I was dancing with was leading me up to one of the bedrooms when I saw the douche go into the kitchen. The dude looked the type, so I followed him in there, sure enough as he was walking away from the table, he slipped a tablet in your cup,” he shrugs as he takes a long drag.

It takes me a minute to process his words. It seems that he was actually looking out for me.

“But… Why? I thought you hated me. Now you’re saying that you left a hot girl who was trying to get in your pants just to make sure I was safe,” I ask. That seriously doesn’t sound like the Warren I know. Then again, I wouldn’t have expected the Warren I know to dick me down at a frat party either.

“Y/n I obviously don’t hate you. And even if I did, I still wouldn’t have let that guy drug you. I’m not that kind of guy,” he says, sounding a bit offended that I thought that of him. I’m seeing a part of Warren tonight that I had no idea existed. We approach my house, tossing our cigarette butts in the trash can beside the mailbox.

“No, I know, Warren,” I smile downwards, looking away from his stern gaze. “You’re actually a pretty good guy,” I laugh nervously. He grins as he leans against his car that’s parked on the curb right outside my home.

“I’m really glad you said that right now. I’m also glad that since I saved you, we’re even,” he smiles as he walks around to his driver door, reaching into his pocket. I stand on the sidewalk, looking at him confused.

“What Are You-“ he tosses me something, I instinctively catch it, clamping it between my two hands. I raise an eyebrow, almost afraid to see what’s in my hands. Warren chuckles as he gets in his car, starting it up as his radio starts blaring his ‘The Offspring’ CD.

I bend forward, he rolls down the passenger window. I look down into my hands to see my favorite lighter broken. The top of the zippo snapped off from the base. My expression falls, rage flooding my senses.

“Warren!” I scream, more pissed off at him then I’ve ever been. He quickly reminded me of why it is that I hate him so much.

“Yeah, my bad,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “You should really keep your stuff picked up off the floor,” he shrugs. I can’t even form a sentence right now. I knew this dumbass took my lighter. “Now get inside so I can leave,” he says motioning with his hand towards the door. I’m so shocked and exhausted- physically and emotionally- from tonight’s events that I just turn and leave. My face still contorted in anger, I silently walk up the steps and into my house.

Out of curiosity, I glance out the window at Warren. He waits a couple seconds after I shut the door to pull out of his parallel parking spot. I sigh, leaning against the door.

This was the strangest night of my life

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torialefay · 5 months

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❤️‍🔥 Mercury in Libra 🪫

bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! (pt 5)

(based on astrology) 🔞

✨bangchan x reader (f); angsty sad times, little fluff if you try

✨word count: ~3.1k

✨5th and final part in chan’s astrology series!!! together, let’s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be!

✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship

✨ author’s notes:

(1) i do brief compatibility readings w/ skz members! if interested, send your natal chart to my inbox, as well as which member you’d like me to read for OR if i think there is one member best suited to you <3

(2) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)

✨warnings: sad plot, theme of unfaithfulness, occasional cursing

✨tl/dr: chan is a loverboy who gets caught up in flirting when he doesn’t even know he’s flirting. then he ends up a blubbering mess.

Mercury in Libra:

-Mercury is the planetary ruler of communication and intellect. It shows how you connect with others throughout everyday life, just in speaking with them. It can also tell you a lot about how you relate to others and interpret the information they give you.

-Libra is a cardinal sign, meaning that people who are in this placement REALLY live by the aspects associated with that placement- in other words, chan is likely to hold very true to these values.

-Libra is the sign of love, beauty, charm, and balance. Libra in Mercury has a few key traits when it comes to communication. They are natural charmers and can instantly make people like them simply by talking with them. Libras are very good at placating to what others want, so they can speak to you in a way that they tell you what you want to hear. Libras also love beauty, so they many times will have an elegant way of speaking or cute quirks and mannerisms. Lastly, Libras value harmony and balance, so most likely their communication style will either (1) mimic yours, or (2) counter yours to be able to reach a happy medium.

-Long story short: Mercury in Libra people are sweet talkers who can charm anyone they meet, make them feel special, and meet them at the communication level that they are in. HOWEVER, the downside to Libra in Mercury is that they do not like confrontation- so they are likely going to avoid any conversations that could disrupt the peace between them and that person.

As your boyfriend:

• Chan always supports you exactly how you need him to.

◦ Had a bad day? He understands, come lay on him and talk about it.

◦ Upset over a test score? Scores are stupid, he’s gonna buy you ice cream and let you rant about how ridiculous it was.

◦ Got into a yelling match with a close friend? Hold his hands and talk him through it. He wants to know how he can help.

• He adapts to what you need in that moment- if you need someone to listen, he will sit there with an open ear. If you need advice on what to do, he will analyze every option and patiently walk you through what he thinks is best.

• If you get really frustrated or angry over something, he will 100% come up behind you and bear hug you, shaking you around until you give in and put a smile on your face.

• “Come here and talk to me,” he says, pulling you down to sit on his lap.

• He loves talking about deep things with you, like the meaning of life. It makes him feel so lucky to have such a smart significant other.

• He stares at you in awe as you talk about things you’re passionate about. Even if he genuinely doesn’t care about the topic, he holds on to every word, thinking of how cute you are in this moment.

• He remembers every little story you tell him about your childhood. When you bring up a long-gone aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc., he says “Oh, the one you told me about who ___?” You always smile at how he remembers these little things.

• Chan knows that you’re mad. He ALWAYS knows.

• He can tell in the way that you don’t instinctively turn your knees towards him in the car and when you don’t automatically reach for his hand when you walk next to him.

• He may not know why you’re mad, but he does know that you are.

• What he has a really hard time with is addressing it.

• He’s been trying for days to make up for it- whatever it is.

• Every day, he starts with “Good morning beautiful.” And every night, he finishes with “Good night princess.” Making sure you didn’t feel unloved.

• He’s been doing extra housework- cooking, cleaning, finishing up odd jobs you’d asked about a month ago. Could that be it?

• He’s been putting his foot down at work, leaving every night 5 PM to make sure he gets to spend the evenings with you. Maybe that’s what this is about- maybe you just missed spending time with him.

• Chan doesn’t know what’s wrong, and nothing he’s done so far has changed anything.

• He was hoping that his efforts would change your attitude toward him, or even make you forget about it, but he just couldn’t understand why you weren’t letting up. Why you weren’t letting him in as closely as you once had. Why things were so good, but now they are so different.

• All he knows now is that he is hopelessly in love with you, but it seems like you don’t feel the same anymore.

• You both sat together on the couch for a while. You thought Chan wouldn’t notice as you slowly inched yourself away from him, more slowly as the minutes passed.

• But he knew. He tried to reason that something was wrong. He didn’t want to push for an answer yet for fear of learning one that he wished he wouldn’t have.

• You continued to scroll on your phone, mind-numbingly on the ‘X’ app. This was a habitual routine, but one you decided you needed to break.

• There were a lot of great posts on there, but there was a lotttt about your boyfriend on there as well. One more unwanted post you knew would send you into a spiral.

• But you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know.

• You scrolled through the hashtag on the app. “#bangchan” splayed across the search bar.

• Cute photos and gifs. Adorable collages. Sexy TikTok edits. The usual. It took you probably 10 minutes of scrolling before you found something that got you ticked off again.

• ‘Every goddamn time,’ you thought, as your scoffed and rolled your eyes. You stared down at the video playing on the phone, as if this was the first one you’d ever seen.

• The caption of the video:

“how cute is #bangchan looking flirting with #fem/idol 😭🥰”.

• You focused on the interaction on the screen. There was Chan at the award show last night, leaning in and whispering something into fem/idol’s ear. When he pulled back, he looked down at her with a big smile, and you could see her reciprocate by blushing intensely and batting her eyelashes back up at him. You watched as he continued to talk for a few moments, laughing and offering up big hand gestures before saying goodbye, making sure to fully catch her eyes and bow as he went.

• You quickly scrolled underneath to the comment section, hoping that someone would say something- anything- to make you feel better.

◦ “God I wish he would look at me that way 🤭”

◦ “omfg she’s so pretty id def have chan’s reaction too”

◦ “Crying 😭😭 When do you think they’ll announce that they’re together? ❤️��

• You swiped out of the app entirely, shutting your phone off afterwards and placing it in your lap. You continued to stare down at the black screen until you felt tears start to well up in your eyes.

• You quickly tried to blink them away, but you couldn’t help it. This was the third time THIS week that you’d seen him do shit like this. Smiling, blushing, and heavily complimenting one girl, helping another fix her shoe, and now this. Before, you could reason it away- chuck it up to him just being a “nice guy.” But you couldn’t keep doing that forever.

• You always saw the comments people left under the videos about how cute they would be together and how Chan would be the perfect boyfriend.

• ‘But little do they know,’ you thought as you sighed.

• You turned your legs along with your body fully toward the other side of the couch, opposite of where Chan was. You looked a bit ridiculous facing the other way, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to see his face. You couldn’t stand to.

• You let your mind wonder, repeating the video in your head. The way he looked at her and the way she looked back.

• ‘Am I stupid?… Have I been stupid this whole time?…’

• You thought back to when you first decided to make things official with him, and how you both agreed that it would be easier to not publicize the relationship. You didn’t want anyone coming in the way of what you have together.

• ‘Was that my first mistake? So he can date me in secret and go out and flirt with any other idol he wants?’

• Your mind drifted to each other interaction you’d seen with him. You had make excuses time and time before. But it hurt to see him like this. Your OWN boyfriend talking to another girl the way that he SHOULD be seen talking to you.

• You couldn’t help yourself as one tear escaped. Then two, then three. Before you knew it, there was a release of waterworks all down your face. Your mind got the best of you as you started sobbing into your hands, burying your face into the side of the couch. There was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

• “Baby?” Chan called. His response was met only with more tears.

• “Baby, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting his whole body next to yours to hold your back.

• “Get off of me!” you lashed out. He looked confused for a moment, but released his grip from you.

• “Honey, please talk to me. What’s wrong?” he asked, genuine sadness on his face.

• Hearing him call you pet names, all while pulling shit like he just had, completely set you off. “Don’t call me that.” You straightened back up in your seat, slightly turning toward him, not daring to look him in the face.

• “Don’t call you what?”

• “Honey, baby, whatever. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

• “Y/n, what is going on? Seriously?” He placed his face in front of yours and used his hands to move your shoulders around to face him. This is the first time he could see how red and puffy your face had become. He felt like a piece of him had broken off just looking at you.

• “What’s going on?” you cried. “I don’t know Chris, why don’t you tell me what’s going on.” You quickly unlocked your phone, the video still open on it. You dropped the phone down to him as you stood, then taking a couple of steps to get some distance.

• He watched the video, moving his head around as if he was studying it. He replayed it a couple of times, then turned it intently, like he was looking for a hidden message. But he could find none. He furrowed his brow, then looked back up at you with a stare of confusion.

• You scoffed. “Okay. So you see nothing wrong with that?”

• “With what? Talking to another girl?!”

• “FLIRTING with another girl, Christopher! Flirting!… I’m not stupid! This is the THIRD video I’ve seen like this in a week. Do you know how humiliating it feels to have to see you, who was supposed to be the love of my life, out here flirting with all these other idols THROUGH SOCIAL MEDIA.. AND THEN having people comment on top of it about how you two would be ‘just the cutest couple ever’! Do you have any idea how that feels?!”

• You saw him get a tinge of sadness in his eyes, but you cut him off before he could speak.

• “No, you know what? I KNOW you don’t know how this feels. Because I would NEVER think to look at another man the way that I look at you.. So you know what!? If you’re that interested in other girls, you can go for it! By alllll means, don’t let me stop you!” You could feel steam coming off of yourself.

• You didn’t even want to hear what he had to say, you just wanted to get out of there. He could have his idol life. Do whatever the fuck he wanted. He had you fooled for a while, but now you saw him for who he was. A liar. Wants his cake and eats it too. But not with you anymore.

• You turned on your heels to leave, thinking you’d go ahead and pack an overnight bag to head out. As you took your first step, you felt a grasp and a tug on your wrist in the opposite direction.

• You stumbled back, feeling him cling to your hand, then pull the top of your body slightly as he stood himself up. By the time he settled, he had you back facing right in front of him with your one hand in his.

• “Y/n, please don’t say that. Please, just listen to me,” he begged, eyes bigger than you’d ever seen them.

• “Listen to what? Listen to you explain how it’s okay to flirt while you’re in a relationship?”

• “That wasn’t flirting!”

• “Oh really, then what do you call that?!”

• “I was just being nice! I thought-” his voice cracked, tears starting to well up in his eyes. “I thought I was-“ he hung his head to the side. “I thought I was being nice!” He looked so defeated.

• And just like that, he started sobbing. Tears were streaming down his face like you’d never seen before. So powerful, they left visible marks even on his black shirt. He kept trying to get words out through his cries.

• ”Baby, I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” he cried. “I didn’t know it would come across like that… I would NEVER,” he genuinely could not contain himself as he strained to get the words out. “I would NEVER do that to you! I could never think of someone else like that.”

• Teardrops kept trickling down as he reached to grab your other hand into his. “I love you- only you! I could never flirt with someone else! But the fact that I made you feel like that- that that’s what it looked like to you…” he couldn’t even see anymore with the water flowing out of himself. “I am just so sorry… Y/n I’m so sorry! Please, please believe me.” He was getting choked now. His face was red like he was about to pass out from lack of air.

• You stood still, not knowing yet what to believe or what to say.

• “Baby please! Please,” he took your face in his hands, feeling of the few stray tears on your own face. “Please. I love you. Please don’t shut me out. I thought I was just being nice and I- I-… I’ve..” he huffed, struggling to get out what he wanted to say. “I’ve done the last thing I ever wanted to do. I would never intentionally hurt you, do you understand me?!” He tried his best to look into your eyes. All you could see were tears weeping out, redness shooting in all directions, and a look of absolute brokenness. “I promise I never meant to come across that way. I thought I was just being nice to her, that is ALL. YOU are the only person I care about. No one else means anything to me. Without you, I am NOTHING. Please baby, please listen to me. Please don’t leave me. I’ll do anything to make this right.”

• He continued to wail as he brought his arms around your body, resting his head on the side of yours. His tears began to soak down into your hair. There was still nothing you could say. I mean, what could you say? Your boyfriend was notorious for being a charming guy… But knowing that didn’t make this situation any easier.

• “Please baby,” he rubbed your head as he plead. “Please just tell me how to fix it and I will. I don’t want you to ever feel that way again.” You felt the water from his eyes now drench your hair entirely. “I PROMISE if you show me what I’m doing wrong, I will never do it again. I promise I will be perfect for you. Just tell me how. I will do ANYTHING! I am BEGGING, y/n!”

• He stood there, holding you as tightly as he could while cradling your head and trying to quieten his sobs. He waited for you to give him some sort of response. Good, bad, ANYTHING was better than nothing. He felt his heart physically break inside his chest when you remained silent, not even motioning to begin getting a word out.

• He slowly pulled his face away from your hair, coming up to face directly into you one last time. His whole face was swollen, pink cheeks now extended into a pink nose and pink ears, streaks of both new and old teardrops going in every direction.

• “Y/n please,” he begged. “Just tell me something… Anything.” He felt like the floor could drop from under him any moment. A gnawing pit formed in his stomach that he felt was going to jump out of his throat while waiting to hear you.

• You stood still for another moment, moving your eyes down and contemplating what you could even say at this point. Your emotions were so mixed.

• “I love you so much. Please know that,” tears still in his eyes, he leaned down to kiss you. It was wet and you could feel the desperation in the intensity he moved his lips over yours. You leaned into it the slightest bit, giving him most minute sense of hope. He clung onto the kiss with everything he could, throwing his lips further into yours before you felt the tears start to slowly separate you again. He pulled his lips off of yours with violent hesitancy.

• He whispered now, as if he didn’t want anyone else in the world to hear him. “Please teach me what you want. Say the word, and I will do it...” small tears now were the only ones coming out. “I would give up everything for you, y/n. Money, fame, anything. Please just teach me what you want…. Please-” he cried, “please don’t leave me.”

• wellll, I’ll let you decide what your fate is with chan 🤭 to forgive or not to forgive?

• ohhh the world of a mercury in libra

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beom1e · 9 months

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jerk! reunion from hell

you and your friends had started a band in your teen years, as you all shared a deep love for music. as serious as you wanted to be about the band, you put your education first and moved away during the summer after graduation. years later, you were expecting a warm welcome back from your childhood friends.

pairing choi beomgyu x fem! reader

genre angst, humour, fluff, childhood best friend! yeonjun, enemies to lovers, band! txt

warning cursing, bickering, alcohol

masterlist | next

‘yeonjun!?’ your voice echoed throughout the hallway. you let the large glass door close softly behind you, before you began lugging your suitcase down the unnecessarily long hallway lined with floor-to-ceiling windows. ‘is anybody home!?’

clearly, the boys were no longer spending day and night in soobin’s garage hoping to make it big. by the looks of things, their musical talent had actually paid off and gotten them somewhere. still, your confusion began to grow as you approached the only door that seemed to be in the stupidly-long and pointless hallway. you’d gotten the address from kai’s sister after explaining that you were planning on surprising them, but now you were rethinking it. maybe you’d just broken into a stranger’s home, or maybe the boys weren’t around and you’d just have to try again later.

you reached for the handle with shaky hands and pushed open the door. five heads whipped around to get a look at the intruder, and a million thoughts began to cloud your mind.

weren’t they happy to see you? they didn’t look happy. nobody was excitedly jumping around or running to hug you like they had the last time you’d visited, two years ago. they were all staring blankly at you as if you were a stranger. had they forgotten who you were? was the fame that brought along the riches too great that they’d already forgotten who had been there from the beginning? it was just five pairs of eyes staring you down and… wait, five?

‘are you some crazed fan?’ the unfamiliar face spoke, somehow snapping your friends out of their daze.

‘uhm no, i’m—’ you began, narrowing your eyes in annoyance.

‘she’s y/n,’ kai interrupted. ‘that’s y/n.’

‘oh, y/n,’ the new, fifth boy placed his guitar down and began to walk towards you. ‘i’m beomgyu, your replacement.’

‘my what?’ you grimaced. ‘what’s that supposed to mean?’

‘y/n, can i talk to you outside?’ yeonjun came speeding towards you, grabbed your arm and then brought you back into the headache-inducing hallway. ‘i’m sorry, we had no idea that you were coming.’

‘well, yeah, that was the whole point,’ you scoffed. ‘and who the fuck is beomgyu?’

‘he plays the guitar for us now,’ he audibly gulped. ‘and he sings, too. writes… produces… all that fun stuff.’

‘so… what?’ you pursed your lips. ‘i leave and you go and find my replacement? and you just never thought to tell me that there was a new member of the band you and i set up?’

‘we wanted to,’ he sighed. ‘it’s just been a very busy year. we’ve had signings and concerts and then we bought this place, and our album sales have just been—’

‘wait, wait, wait, slow down,’ you waved your hands out in front of you to cut yeonjun off. ‘he’s been here for a year? and you couldn’t think to shoot me a text or give me a call?’

‘like i said, we’ve been busy,’ he defended.

‘that’s bullshit,’ you folded your arms across your chest and gave yeonjun your nastiest stare. ‘so i guess now i better go back home and get caught up on your discography? should i just go buy a t-shirt with that asshole’s face on it and beg him to sign it for me since i’m merely an outsider now?’

‘woah, there,’ beomgyu forced his way into the conversation, after standing around and listening for way too long. he had his hands placed in his pockets and one foot resting back against the wall just beside the door. ‘what have i ever done to you, y/n? except turn your awful music into something that doesn’t make people’s ears bleed?’

‘excuse me?’ you practically growled.

‘beomgyu, don’t,’ yeonjun exhaled.

‘oh, she doesn’t know yet?’ clearly, he found the whole situation amusing. he was almost giggling away to himself.

‘what don’t i know?’ you raised a brow. ‘tell me, jun.’

‘just that beomgyu tweaked your songs before official release and they did better than they had before,’ the words felt like a stab to the heart. ‘but you’re not to blame, i mean you were like seventeen last time you wrote a song for us.’

‘i’m leaving,’ you felt your eyes water and your voice grow weaker. ‘i don’t belong here anymore… obviously.’

walking out of their very nice house was the first of your mistakes. you had just enough money to book a room at a cheap hotel, but not enough for a decently good meal. you ignored the calls from yeonjun and soobin, and sat down on your creaky hotel bed with your laptop to do some research. what you found only seemed to break your heart worse than the initial shock had.

beomgyu had been added over a year ago now. they made an announcement to the public and hundreds of teenage girls gushed over his good looks under their posts. then they released their first hit, a song you had originally written for them. of course, your name was listed in the credits section for participating in the lyrics, but they failed to mention you anywhere else on their social media profiles. they advertised themselves as ‘tomorrow by together’, but shortened it to ‘txt’ in most cases. it was a band of five men, like you had never even existed. their career kicked off very quickly and they began to sell albums in the millions, with their follower count increasing by hundreds of thousands every day. profit came fast, and they all moved out of their family homes to live together in the modern — slightly ugly in your opinion — house you’d visited.

you cried yourself to sleep shortly after, feeling utterly sorry for yourself. it hurt more knowing that your friends had been behind the whole thing, and your lack of credit in their band was nothing when compared with the betrayal.

after a cheap breakfast the next day, you took a cab to your local bus station and found a seat outside the building. there were calls missed and messages left unread on your phone, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond.

it was humiliating. you’d travelled hours alone to see the boys you had grown up with in hopes that they would happily welcome you back into your hometown. instead, they had started a new life that you weren’t a part of. they’d replaced you, given your songs away and moved into a new place without ever informing you.

with your headphones in and your gaze turned to the floor, you failed to notice the two boys trying to hail your attention.

‘seriously, y/n?’ you heard, as your right earphone was ripped out of your ear. it was yeonjun, you could tell without even lifting your eyes.

‘we should just go,’ beomgyu’s voice chimed in from behind yeonjun. your head snapped up at the sound and you turned your gaze towards yeonjun. ‘you’ve wasted my time.’

‘shut it, beomgyu,’ yeonjun warned. ‘y/n, you can’t leave.’

‘why not?’ you snatched the headphone out of his hands. ‘there’s nothing left for me here.’

‘i’m here,’ he reminded. of course. ‘there’s a spare room for you to stay in for however long you want, and i promise we’re going to make it up to you.’

yeonjun was your everything. or he had been, a long time ago. he was the sweet boy that helped you up after you tripped and fell face first into the park’s wood-chip floor. he was older and taller, and cared for you deeply, and despite his popularity throughout his teenage years, he never let anything get in the way of your friendship. it was yours and his idea to start the band, because you loved music just as much as each other. and when you met kai and taehyun, and he befriended soobin, the band just fell into place.

but when puberty struck, your hormones were an indestructible force that made you fall head-over-heels for him. from the way that he sang so beautifully, to the gentle brush of his fingers against yours as he taught you piano. the gentleness of his lyrics, the sound of his laughter, the late nights you spent giggling over lyrics and stories, the way he would put you before anyone and anything else.

your first heartbreak was the night of his prom, when he took an older, more mature girl to the dance. but you tried not to think of your fizzled-out crush anymore, having had a fair share of lovers during your years at university. yeonjun was clueless, and he’d never done a thing to suggest that your friendship was anything more than platonic.

‘no, thank you,’ you turned to face the space in front of you, your eyes squinting naturally from the sun. ‘i don’t need a pity invite back into your lives again.’

‘you’re being way dramatic,’ beomgyu laughed. ‘you were the one that left and hadn’t returned in over two years now.’

‘this has nothing to do with you, you jerk!’ you spun around as you stood, glaring at the man in front of you. ‘i don’t care that you think my friends’ entire success is based off your little editing skills! you’re barely an artist if you think switching a few words in my lyrics suggests that you have any form of talent. the world would be much better off without your constant, snarky little comments!’

‘y/n, let’s go,’ yeonjun grabbed your arm in the same way he had the day before, at his house. with his free hand, he grabbed the handle of your suitcase and began pulling it along. ‘and please don’t cause a scene.’

‘i’m not going,’ you turned yourself into an anchor, using all of your strength to keep yourself grounded. of course, yeonjun was much stronger than you would ever be and easily dragged you along. ‘seriously, yeonjun, stop! there’s no way i’m going back to that house to make awkward small talk with people that i used to know!’

the room was pretty silent. you could hear soobin chewing beside you, and the clinking of metal spoons against ceramic bowls as everybody ate their lunch. then a chair scraping that caught your attention, and beomgyu was standing. he placed his bowl on the counter and kicked the chair back into place, before heading up the stairs into his room.

‘so… y/n,’ kai began. you directed your gaze towards him, as he was sitting directly in front of you. ‘are you moving back home permanently?’

‘i’m not sure,’ you answered simply. ‘i graduate in a month, and then i need to start looking for a job.’

‘are we invited to your graduation?’ taehyun pressed, your head whipping around to face him. ‘is that why you came?’

‘i only have enough tickets to take one of you,’ you sighed. ‘i came because i missed you guys and i missed being here.’

‘who are you going to take?’ soobin asked, shooting you an innocent look.

‘obviously me,’ yeonjun interrupted. ‘who else?’

‘yeah… sorry guys,’ you cleared your throat. ‘i’ve just known yeonjun longer, so it makes sense.’

‘no hard feelings, y/n,’ kai smiled.

‘okay… can somebody show me to my room?’ you dropped your spoon into the bowl, sick of the tense feeling in the room.

beomgyu had been fiddling with his guitar for the past fifteen minutes, as you sat picking at your fingernails. it was just you and him left behind at the house, whilst the other four boys were off running personal errands. you’d claimed the living space first, as you were waiting on yeonjun — who promised to be back by now to take you out for dinner — and beomgyu just seemed to want to annoy you with his presence.

‘you’re playing that wrong, you know,’ you spoke. ‘it’s supposed to be soft.’

‘lovesong, right?’ he asked, still strumming quietly. yes, technically, that was the song he was referring to — the one you had named ‘0x1=lovesong’ — except he was playing it more intensely and more angry than intended. ‘beautiful lyrics, but the demo was way too sappy and boring to release.’

‘excuse me?’ you scoffed. ‘that was my favourite song i ever wrote, and the last song i ever wrote.’

‘i can see why,’ he was smirking. ‘have you listened to the official release? there’s a music video too.’

‘no, obviously,’ rolling your eyes, you tried not to get upset. ‘what did you do to it?’

‘made it angsty,’ he shrugged. ‘you know, like an angry, heartbroken kind of sound. changed the title too, because yours was a little lame. we were actually going to ask you to be a feature in the chorus, but we went with an already established artist instead.’

‘i don’t even want to know,’ you closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat. ‘i already feel sick from this whole situation, and you’re just going out of your way to make me feel worse. i’m going up to my room.’

‘the spare room,’ beomgyu corrected. ‘it’s not your room.’

‘what is your problem?’ you snapped. ‘is it your life’s mission to make me feel terrible? you came in here, took my place and the fame that i could have had, and i’m getting punished for it? why, because you feel threatened?’

‘because i don’t like you, y/n,’ he stood, placing his guitar on the couch and towering over you as you were still sitting on the opposite couch. ‘as i recall, you rudely asked yeonjun who ‘the fuck’ i was, and then proceeded to call me an asshole simply because i joined your friends’ band.’

right, you did do that. but it was a heat of the moment thing, and you didn’t actually mean anything by it. still, he only proved your point with his behaviour following your meeting.

‘you provoked me,’ you defended. ‘asking if i was a crazed fan and introducing yourself as my replacement.’

‘geez, it was a joke,’ he rolled his eyes as he stepped away from you and into the kitchen. ‘but your reaction said a lot.’

‘and then he had the audacity to tell me that it was my reaction that caused him to be a huge jerk to me,’ you groaned, lifting your wine glass to your lips and taking another sip. yeonjun nodded between chews. ‘seriously, i can’t stand to even be in the same room as him.’

‘you’ve only known each other for a day,’ he interjected after swallowing. ‘you need to give him a chance.’

‘no, thank you,’ you placed the glass down rather loudly. ‘there’s no way in hell that i’ll ever get close to him… it’s just going to be a long month before i never have to share a living space with him ever again.’

‘that’s true,’ yeonjun stated, although you could tell he had more to say from the way that he leaned over the perfectly white table cloth between you. ‘but it’s not like he’s going to up and leave for your sake. he’s our friend — my friend — and he’s a vital part of our band— a great guitarist and he has a very unique voice that leaves the fans swooning, plus—!’

‘’jun, please,’ you held your hand up to stop him. ‘talking about him like a used car you’re selling on the facebook marketplace isn’t going to make me like him more. sure, he can play guitar, but does he even have the capacity to feel sympathy?’

yeonjun just laughed out loud, reaching for his glass as he fell back into the comfort of his chair, and you smiled. you’ve missed him.

an hour later, beomgyu stopped strumming upon hearing the sound of your laughter. as the door swung open into the common area, he caught sight of you holding onto yeonjun’s bicep for support.

‘and then he just got up and left— oh, hey, beomgyu,’ you straightened up, letting go. ‘uh, goodnight, yeonjun.’

‘who got up and left?’ beomgyu inquired.

‘oh, it’s hilarious,’ yeonjun grinned. ‘this guy who y/n dated— basically, she rejected him but he would not give up— what?’

you were not impressed, and yeonjun caught on quickly. he waved his hand in the air as a dismissal and turned towards the stairs, wishing beomgyu a short goodnight. you shot the latter a tight-lipped smile and followed yeonjun upstairs.

‘goodnight, y/n,’ yeonjun spoke, turned back to face you with his hand reaching for the handle. you smiled and watched him disappear behind the door, to which your smile grew wider and you silently screamed into your hands.

you would have been skipping had everyone else been awake, but you held yourself back and opted for walking calmly down the hallway to your bedroom. the sleep you had turned out to be a lot more peaceful than you had expected, being able to rest easy knowing that you were home, and with yeonjun.

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defrosted69 · 1 year

Text

Shot through the heart

"Hey Dweeb, buy me some bread."

"B-But I'm doing my homework"

"Ah? Do look like I give a single fuck about what your doing? Buy me some bread."

"I-I have no money.."

"Like I care? Stop complaining and buy me some bread already dipshit!"

A girl pushed your chair as you fell flat on the floor groaning from the sudden force that was applied on it. Your glasses fell to the floor as your eyesight has turned blurry and it was hard for you to navigate the surroundings.

"Oh poor Y/n's gonna walk in all 4s? Aweee bark for me~"

Their laugher almost made you wanna hate your life as whole as their torment at you every time you go to school is hellish. It's something that you wish but to end and perhaps it will end if you end your life yourself. But there was one glimpse of hope for you. That one factor left that would keep you from ending it all.

"Hey! Stop what your doing to him Hanni. It's not funny."

The voice of an Angel. Baek Jiheon. She was your senior and the president of the Club you were in. Jiheon was also kind of fond towards you especially with how enthusiasm you were everytime there's an meeting or an activity at the club.

"Awe come on Jiheon Unnie. I was just messing with him."

"Yeah right. Listen to me Pham Hanni. If I ever see you bully Y/N again, I'll make sure to give your sister a visit."

Jiheon's stern voice made Hanni clenched her fist and glare at her. You didn't really know what the two have going on but having to spent your time with your bully and savior, you could tell that the two used to have a past together. Hanni scoffed and left the classroom along with her friends as Jiheon handed you your glasses. Upon seeing her, your heart raced quicker than normal.

"Are you okay Y/n?"

Her angelic voice that send tingles down your spine temporarily froze you in place. Time slowed down as you observed everything about her. The sun was shining behind her and the birds seemingly singing her a song. Everything was so bright around her and you would have hoped nothing but to be with her.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"H-Huh? Oh yeah! I-I'm fine."

You stuttered as Jiheon lended you a hand helping you stand up.

"By the way, You don't have anything to do after class right?"

"Yeah."

"Good, cause we kinda have an important meeting later on."

Jiheon's bright smile was the only thing that your mind was processing as you were just nodding at her. She chuckled and gave you a sandwich which surprised you.

"Here's a snack for you Y/N. See you later~"

Jiheon waved at you and left the classroom leaving you a confused blushing mess. Jiheon's kindness is also what makes you fall for her more as this only added to her charms. But as much as you what to admire her, you have a lot of opponents to win her heart.

Everyone admires Jiheon because of her beauty, brains and kindness. In the perspective of everyone, Jiheon was the perfect Girlfriend. Many had tried to sway her heart but a lot has failed and that both gives you relief and anxiety. You felt relief because Jiheon wasn't taken just yet and you have a slight chance. But sadly, you felt anxious because you were afraid that the bond you two build will be destroyed if you confess to her.

But if you were to choose one threat then it would be the School's Prince, Kim Sunoo. Everything about him was perfect. He was gifted academically, athletic, Visuals, everything you asked for was given to him. But the thing that bugs you out is knowing that Jiheon and Sunoo are childhood friends and neighbors as well. Your at a disadvantage as everything about him was perfect yet you were imperfect in every way.

You could only sigh as the day was boring for you but as the final bell was rung, you packed your bag but Minji, Hanni's friend stood infront of your table stopping you as you gulped in fear.

"Hey, Gimme 5,000 won."

Her demanding voice scares you as your eyes began to shift everywhere but hers.

"I-I don't have that money on me..."

"So? Pull out your card or something. I need that money now."

"I.. I can't I don't have-"

The door opened and Hanni was back from her daily task of throwing the trash because of her tardiness in class. She hated it the most because the punishment didn't make sense but she knows that it's her fault too. Everyone in class knows that Hanni wasn't the girl to be messed with especially when after she threw the trash but Minji, used this to her advantage.

"Hanni, the dweeb isn't listening again."

You gulped in fear as cold sweat began to form on your forehead and hands. You didn't want to get beaten up by Hanni again especially now that you are needed by Jiheon in the club. But as much as you want to move, your body stood there frozen. You heard her footstep closing on you as Hanni sighed and boredly looked at you.

"You don't have Money on you Dweeb?"

"N-No I don't have that money on me"

"Tsk! Fine, here Minji. Just pay me back next time."

You widen your eyes as Minji was also caught of guard by what Hanni just did. Usually, Hanni would beat you up and threaten you just to force you to give them money but today, Hanni acted differently. Minji took the money nonetheless.

"Woah, Alright then. Wanna join me Hanni? I'll be hanging out with that 3rd year hottie."

"Nah I'll pass. I gotta visit my Sister today."

"Eh suit yourself."

Minji shrugged her shoulders and left the room. You on the hand, was still in deep thoughts on why would Hanni help you out. You were confused as Hanni grabbed her bag and fixed her things. She was about to leave the room when you finally spoke.

"T-Thank you!"

You must have been dreaming because there was no way that you will be thanking your bully. Hanni just stared at you and sighed leaving the class with no more words for you. It was truly a confusing moment but you just shrugged it off and went to the club room. Your silent sanctuary. You opened the door and saw Jiheon smiling ear to ear towards you along with the rest of the members.

"Y/N, good thing your here. Were about to start anyway."

You smiled brightly but that died down when your eyes saw Sunoo next to Jiheon. He was all smiles but seeing him close to Jiheon and seeing her laugh with her made you sad. You tried to ignore it but the moment Jiheon said

"Sunoo will be part of our club for the moment as our club will be joining the film club for the upcoming festival."

Obviously everyone was all on it because the school's prince was in their club. You didn't want to be selfish but you have no choice but to accept it.

"But the important thing is, Our club will be doing a theater show and this is where Sunoo's club will help us. Now, I have come up that we will be doing a play called sleeping beauty. Now who will be a leads? Any suggestion?"

This is what made you fear the most because it was preety obvious that Jiheon and Sunoo will be the main leads and what's your position there? Nobody, a nobody. You have no rights to disagree as everyone in the club voted for the two of them. It was painful to see the girl that you like be with someone better than you and you couldn't do anything. You stayed silent hoping that this meeting ended sooner than later.

The following days was pure torture for you as seeing them being all flirty with each other breaks your heart. You tried to keep everything in as much as possible as you keep reminding yourself that you have no rights to interfere.

Sunoo was better in every way towards you and you were no match for him. He was gifted while you have to thrive to sharpen your skills just to be recognized by them and if you did showcase them, nobody would even dare to listen to you.

As the days go by, it was pure torture for you but you kept a straight face focusing on making the play successful as it is. But if there was something that you were glad for is that Pham Hanni, your bully seems to have stopped bothering you at all after that time when you thanked her. It also wasn't just Hanni that didn't bother you anymore but even her friends stopped being an annoying bitch towards you.

Though you find it weird, you were glad that Hanni stop bullying you but that torture was replaced with emotional torture as you see Jiheon smiling and laughing with Sunoo. They say that accepting things as they are now is one way of letting yourself free from the pain you are suffering.

But to you that was a difficult task.

Jiheon became a part of your life and for you to let go of the sole reason why you come to school,

To why you still wanna hang in the club room,

To why you had hoped on seeing her smile,

To why you wanna keep moving forward.

It was very difficult for you to let go because if you did, what will you cling into? What hope or motivation will you have to keep moving forward in life? What's left for you to do?

Your mind was filled with more questions than answers as you mindlessly wander the busy halls of the corridors.

The day you dreaded finally arrived. You woke up in a very tired expression even though you had 8 hours of sleep in your body. Your mind was just so exhausted with all the negative thoughts that has filled your mind for the past weeks. You tried your best to accept that you have already lost Jiheon to Mr. Perfect. Everyday, you reminded yourself that you were a loser and a coward for accepting that this was is. You couldn't do anything because you were afraid of change.

Then it hit you. The biggest reason why you cowered out.

You were scared.

Not for yourself

But because

You were scared

Of the change that could happen.

You couldn't bring yourself to change the relationship between you and Jiheon because you were afraid of her Changing her behavior with you. Jiheon was your only friend and a very precious friend to you. Part of loving her is letting her go and seeing her happy.

Her happiness was yours as well.

You tried to place that seed on your mind everyday and today was the day you know that Jiheon will finally be the reason of someone's happiness.

You fixed your attire and left the house where you only live in. Gone were the days where you would greet your parents because there was no reason to greet them anymore. They have left this world and left you behind all on your own.

Upon leaving the house, you notice how dark the clouds were indicating that there's a strong chance that it will rain. You on the other hand could only chuckle softly.

"I guess the universe hates me huh?"

You walked your way towards the school and even though the weather wasn't that great, everything went smoothly for the festival. The festive mood was still felt around the classroom as plenty of classroom has their booth open for all to experience. Seeing the smiles of students made you feel like you lost yours. Even though the school was in such festive mood, everything felt so bland and plain.

You ignored all of this as you continued your trail towards the club room where you were tasked on checking up on the attire of the actors that will use. As you open the door you saw Jiheon in a very beautiful mint green dress. You were star struck as no words was able to describe her beauty. Everything seems to have sparkled seeing her beauty as her eyes landed on you.

"Oh, Y/N how do I look?"

"Beautiful."

It was the only word that you can describe to her but your mouth couldn't say it. You just simply nodded your head as she giggled. The more she showed you her soft side, the more you heart breaks.

"Oh my. You look so preety Jiheon."

Sunoo snapped you back to reality as he himself wore a prince outfit. It was befitting for him considering his title in school and you can tell why many girls would fall for him. He was sparkling just like Jiheon as the two smiled at each other. You sighed and went pass over them trying your best to dissappear on their sights as you wanted to focus on your task.

As the play finally started, many students were all anticipating on seeing how the preetiest girl in school will act towards the prince of the school. It was pretty obvious that everyone wanted to See Sunoo and Jiheon as most of the crowd just doesn't react to other actors at all. But when the pair came out, Cheers and whistles was all that was heard.

Never have you seen Jiheon smile so brightly and shine so perfectly with someone that wasn't you. As much as you admire their amazing chemistry together, the painful scene that was about to unfold infront of your eyes will surely make you realize that you have no space in between the two perfect couple.

The kiss scene where everyone had hope to see, was finally gonna happen. Your heart was starting to crack everytime Sunoo says his lines as he was inching himself closer to Jiheon. As the crowd was at the edge of their seat, you couldn't handle the passionate Kiss the two shared as you damn well that there wasn't suppose to be a kiss scene. It was suppose to be a peck on her cheeks but Sunoo showed everyone his intentions towards the girl. The crowd cheered for them leaving you in pain as you officially lost the girl you admire.

You couldn't handle it anymore as you left the play and walked towards the busy corridors of school not really knowing where to go now.

"Hey Minji."

"Sup Hanni."

"Have you seen the dweeb-I mean Y/N?"

"Nope. Haven't seen the loser since morning. Why Look for that loser anyway?"

Hanni could only just sigh as she has noticed how you actually looked more miserable even when she stopped messing with you. She thought that stopping herself from bullying you would be enough closure for all the wrong deeds she did. But the thing that really caught her off guard was when you actually thanked her for saving him.

It wasn't even in her best intention to save you but it's just that she wanted Minji to shut up. She couldn't react properly after you thanked her as she left the classroom flustered and embarrassed. This was her first time seeing someone thank her for the good thing she did and it felt so weird but in a good way. She felt like her body elevated and something heavy was released from her.

To this day, she still can't understand why she, the biggest bully in her class helped a loser like you. But nonetheless, she stopped bullying you and overall stopped being a menace. Hanni was actually scolded preety hard as the reality of things came crashing down on her. She has never seen her Sister this dissapointed in her and it broke her heart hearing and seeing her sister break down all alone in their kitchen. She realized that she needed to help her sister somehow as her sister was her everything.

Since then, Hanni tried to be a better person and even telling her friends to act more appropriately now which they found weird but followed her. The Old headache of a student Hanni was gone, and in the class was the studious Hanni. Some teachers were even surprised by her sudden change of behavior but they also praised Hanni for changing her bad behavior.

While everything was going her way, she couldn't help but feel bad to the person she hurtled the most.

You.

She would cringe at herself remembering the horrible mistreatment she would make you go through and everytime she remembers them, she wanted to beat herself up over and over again. She made it her goal to sincerely apologize to you but your mood everyday just look so gloom and depressing that she couldn't help herself but shy away.

This action of her would only made her more frustrated as she couldn't bring herself towards you. Now she hoped that this event would help her find you but it's like the universe was setting her up not to even see you as everywhere she go, she couldn't find you anywhere. She was getting frustrated as she ruffled her hair aggressively.

"Where in the blue hell is that dweeb?"

She sighed and decided to rest at her favorite spot in school.

The rooftops.

Even though the weather was a bit chilly and the sun was hidden, the rooftops was still the best place for Hanni to collect her thoughts and she would expect that nobody would be in the rooftops considering how the school is very much active. She pushed the door opening to the rooftops and she was greeted with a soft cold breeze from the humid atmosphere above her. But to her suprised, she saw a figure sitting in the edge of the rooftop as her heart began to race as the worst case scenario that she wishes not to encounter is infront of her.

"Who in the right mind-wait, isn't that Y/N?!"

Her eyes widen as she swiftly moved her feet and grabbed him and pulled him into safety. Hanni was fuming with rage because she didn't expect that you wanted to end you life when she hasn't even apologized to you.

"What the hell are you thinking dipshit?! Do you wanna die that badly?!"

Hanni raised her voice as you looked up tired and exhausted but Hanni suddenly came into your view with a very angry face.

"Hanni? Wha-what are you doing up here?"

You sat up as you were completely caught off guard seeing your bully, well your previous bully getting mad at you after tackling you for some unknown reason. Hanni was now a raging bull after hearing your response. She gritted her teeth in annoyance as seeing her mad scared you.

"W-Wait Hanni.. I-I could explain.."

"You better Dipshit. I'm waiting."

Hanni crossed her arms near her chest as she stared at you intently with burning gaze. This was the first time you saw Hanni this mad and you didn't even do anything to provoke her.

"I..I just wanted some time off to think and I went here."

"Why are you even on the edge of the rooftop. You could have died!"

Weird.

You found Hanni acting weird right now. You blinked several times to wake yourself up as you couldn't believe that your bully, Pham Hanni, just told you how you could have died. Hanni, your bully, cares for you.

"I'm sorry Hanni, but... Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I-I mean w-why do you care if I die?"

"You asshole!"

Hanni punched your shoulder but to your surprise, her punch wasn't like the punches she used to give you instead her punch felt like it was out of worry and not out of bullying. It may sound weird to others but that's just how her punch felt right now. She then grabbed you by the collar and pulled you close to her face where you saw her face up close.

"If you died, I'll forever regret of not apologizing to you properly. So don't go fucking around and die just yet!"

Her eyes were furious but you could see that there was a few tears forming on her eyes and this really made you feel weird. Add in that seeing Hanni up close made you saw how beautiful she really was. Her soft skin and plump cheeks made it clear that her cheeks are very squishable. Her eyes who's burning and piercing you right now captivated you and you saw how her lips were perfectly carved.

"What? Why are you staring at me? Answer me Y/N!"

"H-Huh? Y-Yes! I-I won't die just yet."

"Not just yet. Never. Okay? Got that?"

Her demanding voice made you snap your weird thoughts away from her as she sighed and removed her grip on your collar and separated the two of you.

"Anyway, Like I said. I wanna apologize to you for all what I did and I know that even if I apologized now. That wouldn't be enough for all the pain I cost you. So if you wanna retaliate, sue me, or even push me off the edge. You have my consent cause I, Pham Hanni apologize."

Hanni respectfully apologized to you with her body fully bowed towards you. This day was full of surprises for you but seeing Hanni fully bow to you and apologize to you made you confused. One part of you hated her for making your life miserable but one part of you also want to accept her apology because you saw it yourself on how much Hanni has changed ever since she covered you from Minji. You wanted to really believe that Hanni has changed yet you still didn't fully trust her.

"Hanni, y-you sure there's nothing behind this apology? Because honestly speaking What you did to me really made me lose hope in living anymore."

Hanni bit her lip realizing how much of a douche bag she was. She knows that accepting her apology would be more of a stretch than she expected.

"But if there's one thing I learned from Jiheon is that people deserve second chances. The moment you covered me from Minji, I was confused but seeing you be the opposite of who you used to be gave me the idea that you really are changing for the best."

Hanni looked up and her big soft pair of eyes made you flustered as you looked to the side avoiding her gaze.

"S-So Hanni. I accept your apology but you better behave-"

Hanni cutted you off by hugging you tightly. Her action only made you shocked and confused as you have never, and I mean EVER saw her react like this. Pham Hanni, your bully is now hugging you and smiling so brightly at you.

"Thank you! Thank you so much Dweeb! Errr I mean Y/N!"

You really didn't know what to do but your instinct was the one who controlled your body. Your hand traveled to her hair as you stroke her gently making Hanni widen her eyes and realizing what she was doing.

"Ah!"

She immediately pushed you away as you landed on the floor flat.

"Ouch."

"Oh no, I'm sorry Dweeb-I mean Y/N. I'm sorry."

Hanni quickly went to you offering you her hand as you could only sigh. You accepted her hand and both felt weird when their hands touch. Hanni has heen bullying Y/N for some quite time yet this was the first time when both realize something.

You were obviously suprised by how small and soft Hanni's hand were. You expected her hands to be rough Considering she was a bully but her hands felt like it's been taken care of very well.

Hanni was so surprised by your hand. Never once would she feel like her hand melted on someone else's touch other than her sister. Growing up, she was quite sensitive to things and she hated rough hands as she finds them disgusting yet right now, you were proving her wrong. Her hand felt so natural to be with yours as the two of you stared for each other for a while before Hanni realized what she was doing.

She immediately helped you up and pulling her hand away and your hand felt cold when her touch was gone from your grip.

"A-Anyway, what are you doing here Hanni?"

You tried to break the awkward atmosphere around the two of you as Hanni avoided eye contact with you as her cheeks were suddenly heating up.

"T-This is my spot."

"Oh, should I leave?"

"What? No just stay. I mean, I don't mind sharing my spot with you."

"But am I allowed to?"

"Aish. Of course you are. Y-Your my f-f-friend now so I don't mind..."

Hanni pouted her lips as she felt embarrassed saying you were her friend but for you, you were all smiles as you couldn't believe that your bully became your friend. Just when you thought that Jiheon was your only friend, An unexpected surprised came to you and Hanni become your friend.

"This is... Weirdly amusing"

You and Hanni ended up talking about a lot of things as you were surprised that Hanni actually has a lot common things towards you. One of them is the love towards basketball. Hanni tried her best not to tease you about not joining the basketball team but because of your lack of confidence, you ended up not joining. Seeing you all down made Hanni feel sad as well. Sure, she was used to seeing you all sad because she used to bully you but now that she was your friend, she wanted to help you get over that lack of confidence you have.

"Hey Y/n listen to me."

"Hmm?"

"You need to trust yourself. Now listen up, the school Varsity team would be recruiting some fresh legs next month so why don't I help you?"

Your eyes widen in surprise by her propsal. You weren't even sure if Hanni was saying the truth or if she's just playing with her feelings but you ended up agreeing to her. She was all smile hearing your answer as she then came close to your startling you even more. She began to observe you face as she pouted out of her habit whenever she's thinking of something.

"Hmm... Have you ever removed your glasses before?"

"Umm.. Only when I go to the shower or sleep."

"Well take them off."

"Wh-What? Why?"

"Just take them off wil you."

Not wanting to anger the small girl anymore, you removed your glasses as Hanni's pout suddenly turned into a shocked expression.

She has never expected that the person she was bullying looked so differently when he removed his glasses. Hanni was captivated by you facial looks without your glasses as she immediately can tell that without your glasses, you imitated a strong aura which really attracted her. You saw how her cheeks suddenly was turning pink.

"Hanni, you alright?"

"Y-Yeah. You should get a haircut too."

"Should I? But I don't think having a new haircut helps me in getting into the team."

"Nonsense. Trust me you need to get a haircut. Also this should be your cut."

You noticed how skilled and detailed Hanni is when it comes to hairstyles as you couldn't help but smile at her genuine help. It was a weird way of befriending your bully but this was better than having Hanni as your bully till highschool. You had once again a reason to go to school.

TIMESKIP: 1 WEEK LATER

Murmurs was heard all around the corridors as all eyes were on you. It made you feel uncomfortable but remembering the words of advice from Hanni, you brushed off your uncomfortable feeling and walked the hallways of the school.

Everyone couldn't believe that a new student has transfered to their school during their midterms as everyone began to spread of the word. Everywhere you look, you can see everyone staring at you and you just smiled at them. That smile Immediately made the students go nuts especially the girls who began to put makeup all over their faces as they try their best to win you over. Once you were at your classroom, you sat at your usual seat and everyone in class began to whisper at each other seeing a new face but Hanni was smirking from the sight of everyone.

During that 1 week span, Hanni helped you have more confidence by being yourself and actually having a haircut. It took sometime to decide on what haircut you would have as Hanni was your personal assistant on choosing the right haircut. Both of you agreed to go out together to pick some clothes and for once, you actually had fun picking clothes unlike before where you would just buy online. Hanni encourage you to talk to the sales man/lady about the clothes you have and Hanni would be all smile when she saw you casually talking to them.

It wasn't such a big improvement but Hanni was glad that you had atleast some confidence to enter the class like nothing happened to you. She notice how Minji stared at you intensely and she even bit her lips.

"Hey Hanni, wanna bet I can make him my boyfriend?"

Hanni just rolled her eyes at her and smirked.

"I bet you won't."

"Watch me."

Minji was about to turn towards you when you walked past her and went to Hanni smiling.

"Ah, here's the hair wax I borrowed Hanni. Thanks."

"No problem Y/N."

Everyone gasped hearing the words of Hanni. They couldn't believe that the quiet and bullied classmate of theirs suddenly turned into a different person. A more attractive person. It's as if they were looking at a new and reborn version of you which was true. The entirety of the day was how other students came in waiting for you to come out and this really made you uncomfortable. Hanni was the one who shooed them away with her intimidating glare which made them scared as they all left.

"Thanks Hanni. I owe you one."

"You owe me a lot Dweeb. Hehehe~"

Hanni brightly smiled at you and you still haven't got used to how beautiful her smile is. Everything about what you thought of Hanni was immediately changed after hanging out with her. You though she was a no good for nothing student when she in fact was actually quite smart. Hanni grabbed your wrist as the two of you headed to the cafeteria as it was packed with students trying to get their hands on the special jam filled bread. But instead of being the first ones, they were shocked to see how many people have already lined up for it. Hanni pouted her lips to the side as she found it annoying that she couldn't be able to eat her bread.

But the crowd suddenly gasped making you two look at the commotion was all about and there your heart cracked a bit seeing Jiheon all smiles as she waves at the crowd and beside her was her boyfriend Kim Sunooo, the prince of the school. They became a couple after that play and hearing about it only brought nothing but sadness towards you yet you ignored it for the moment.

"Oh it's Jiheon Unnie. Oh well, I wish they have left later on...."

Hanni said making you look at the girl as her lips pouted. It was habit you saw from her whenever she would be sulking and you honestly find it adorable. Seeing her in such state made decide to give her a hand.

"I'll be right back."

"Huh? Where you going?"

You didn't answer her yet her eyes solely focused on you diving into the wave of hungry students squeezing themselves into the crowd. You were Getting pushed and pulled around yet you continued to push through the crowded and congested line. Hanni's eyes never left you as she felt so bad seeing you get pushed around. Her heart was being shattered seeing you struggle as she wishes nothing more than for you to be safe.

But all of her worries would be washed away when you got out of the line catching your breath and showing Hanni a warm smile.

"Hanni, I got the bread."

"You idiot. You could have gotten hurt. Are you okay?"

She placed her hand on your face observing it which you could only chuckle at her. Call yourself selfish but you liked the feeling of Hanni's touch on your face as it just keeps you at ease. You also found it weird that Hanni is somewhat was able to calm you down or even cheer you up whenever you needed it and it's been just a week since you two buried the past and moved to the future as friends. You held her hand to your face and leaned closer to her smiling brightly.

"I'm alright Hanni. No need to get worried."

Hanni was taken back by your sudden bold action. The space between you was shortened because you leaned in closer towards her. Her cheeks immediately turned red seeing you up close and wearing a proud bright smile. She could tell that her heartbeat was racing yet she tried her best not to act flustered.

"A-Alright. L-Let's just go..."

Hanni walked away from you making you chuckle at her cute reaction.

"Ahhh she's so cute....wait, did I say my Bully is cute?"

You shook your head and continued to chuckle as you followed Hanni from behind. Unbeknownst to you was that someone was watching from afar your interaction with Hanni and this didn't sit well with her whatsoever.

It's finally the last day of school and every student was finally gonna enjoy their summer vacation ahead of them but before that was the mighty final exams. This was the giant mountain that they have to climb before they could tatse that sweet sweet summer atmosphere. Luckily for you, you didn't have to worry about your grades because all of them were all straight A's and if you did fail, your final grade will be at most a B- or C+ which means you passed. So you were really relaxing in your room except that there was someone who's really worried about their own grade.

"Damn it! Hey Y/N. How do you get this again?"

You smile and took a seat next to her. Hanni has been hanging out with most of the time. Although you were busy with your club activities and basketball training, you still find time to hangout with her and she actually appriciate how much effort you give her especially when you have a tight schedule.

Hanni would be lying if she say she didn't like you.

Yes, your once Bully turned to the closes friend has feelings for you.

When that first though came to her mind, she wanted to vomit because of how absurd that thought was especially considering that both of you were just starting your friendship and there was no no possibility of her falling for you. That equation wasn't even formulated yet but as time goes on, the more you give effort to hanging out with her, helping her study, and even helping to her sister's job caught her attention.

The speculation of her falling for you got stronger when Minji admitted to her that she likes you. She shouldn't have been feeling so scared and worried but when Minji confessed to her, it made her feel so scared that she could lose you. It also didn't help that Hanni would see you with Jiheon all smiles and laughter. She felt so lost whenever she sees you happy with someone else and not her but she knows that she shouldn't be selfish as well, after all, she's just your friend.

But you keep giving her false hope whenever you appear in her and most of them was were when she needed you the most. When her sister's job was being threaten to be removed, you pulled up and showed everyone the files that her sister's business is legal and labeled in the government. Nobody has stepped up for her or her sister except you. You were silently inserting yourself in the Pham's household without even realizing it. Hanni realized that you weren't longer the Dweeb who would shy away from everything. No, you had become someone better. Someone who pushed out of their boundary just to help someone, someone who was ready to help, someone that Hanni needed, Someone that Hanni loved.

"I heard that your club will be having a picnic at the park this weekend."

Hanni said as you nodded your head at her.

"Yeah, it's like a goodbye ceremony to our seniors who will be graduating this year."

"I see, so Jiheon will be there right?"

"Y-Yeah, of course."

You didn't see how Hanni frowned a little hearing you stutter when she mentioned Jiheon. She knows that she has no chance to winning you over someone who's perfect and everyone admires.

"I also heard from Minji that you two will be watching the fireworks showcase during the weekend. It's at the Beach right?"

"Yeah..."

She tried her best not to sound dissapointed but she couldn't. She had hoped that you wouldn't join Jiheon during the weekend to hang out with her but it seems that you already have plans ahead. This only made Hanni more frustrated as she grabbed her stuff surprising you.

"Woah, where you going Hanni?"

"Home. Thanks for having me over."

Hanni bowed to you as she grabbed her stuff and placed it all in her bag then left in a hurry. It made you feel terrible seeing Hanni leave you so quickly as you wished nothing more but to spend more time with her. You have grown fond of your bully as she was now a changed person. There was little to no signs of her past self resurfacing and this made you happy because you finally have a friend you can hang out freely. But there was a little problem.

You had completely fallen for Hanni.

It was weird to say the least how much your heart always calls out for Hanni. Seeing her change so much for the better was a great thing because you finally realized that Hanni turned into a bully because of her environment growing up and how her family turned out to be. You wanted to help her in every way as you would go out of your way to help her in all possible way to at least make her feel at ease but the unexpected thing happened. As time goes one doing all this for Hanni, you ended up falling in love with her.

Some people may call you crazy for falling in love with your bully but that's just how it works for you.

But there's one thing stopping you from really realizing that you liked Hanni, Baek Jiheon.

Jiheon and Sunoo's relationship isn't going well lately and Jiheon has only you to be her support wall as seeing her cry breaks you heart as well. Jiheon was your first love in your life so she has a spot for your heart but Hanni was slowly making her way into your heart as well. You can't just choose both even if they were both important people in your life.

Jiheon, the girl that showed you that there will always be hope for you. That there is a light in every dark days you have and there's always a tomorrow to look forward too. Jiheon showed you what love can do to a person and how much that can motive them to be better.

Hanni, the girl that showed you that change is the only permanent thing in the world. Everyone can change for the better or worse but at the end of the day, it will be your choice on what change you will do. Hanni showed you that someone can change for the better and it's never to late to try things you wanted to do.

This frustrated you as you don't know the define answer to this question. But this weekend you might have the proper answer to what really is best for you. With a heavy sigh you jumped into your bed with a distress expression.

"I hope what I'm gonna choose is the right one..."

"The park feels so nice right Y/n?"

Jiheon smiled brightly at you. No matter how much she flashes you her sweet bright smile, you will never get tired of it even if she does it a thousand times in one day.

"Yeah, it does."

Everything was set-up perfectly as even the atmosphere was perfect. Everyone all had a smile because even though this was a sad day, it was also a day to be celebrated because of the accomplishment that the seniors are graduating. Jiheon being the best leader of the club made sure that the seniors feel the love they deserve as she handed them gifts as thank you for their efforts.

This has always been what Jiheon is good at, being kind and cherishing anyone no matter who they are. So it was quite easy why you fell for her and to why Sunoo fell for her too. As the orange sky painted the sky, Jiheon's Beauty reflected it's beauty as a soft breeze past her her by. Your eyes saw how glowing Jiheon was as she adjusted her hair behind her ear. Her smile that never seems to fade just shined so brightly that it captivates you.

"Say Y/N."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Can you follow me for a bit? I wanna show you something."

Jiheon grabbed your hand and you felt how soft her hands were. It wasn't everyday when Jiheon showed you skinship and when she does, it made your flutter a thousand times than normal and right now, Jiheon looked so beautiful as she walked you around the park.

On the back of your mind, this felt like a date which you have always dreamed of doing. From laying on the bed dreaming of the day when You would take Jiheon by her hand and walking in the park. This was your dream and right now it was the reality of things. Everything was going your way with Jiheon as she smiled at you and walked with her hand in hand. But one part of you felt hurt knowing this was the everyday view of Sunoo. It felt so wrong liking someone who's already taken.

"Y/N, you have changed a lot huh?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean appearance wise, you looked more... A-Attractive and your shy demeanor is now gone. Heck, Your even part of the Varsity team now."

She proudly look at you as your heart melted. Everything you have dream of doing with Jiheon was happening right infront of you yet something didn't sit right with you. It feels like there was a catch with how this was presented to you. It felt like there was a string attached to this and was a set up to something very emotionally draining for you.

The two of you walked all around the park admiring the scenery around as both of you were enjoying each other's silence. No word's was needed between the two of you inorder to enjoy the walk.

"We're here."

Jiheon finally spoke as both of you were standing un the park bridge. The small river below you made it so relaxing as you looked up and saw that the sun was setting and darkness will soon engulf the sky.

"It's a nice place."

"I know right. This place is my little sanctuary. Well I don't think it's little considering it's open to the public."

Jiheon chuckled as you smiled at her. A memory flashed through your mind as your smile only got brighter remembering the first time Hanni apologized to you.

"Y/N, I really wanna thank you for being there for me all the time. I wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't there."

Jiheon's words caught you off guard as you really didn't expect the sudden words comming from Jiheon. You were obviously the person who admired Jiheon the most and was one of the reason why you continued on but to hear her admit this, made you realize that you were important in Jiheon's life.

"I merely did anything."

Jiheon shook her head and and grasped both your hands as she held it tight. This made you blush at the sudden contact as Jiheon giggle admiring her hands on to yours.

"Y/N, that nothing you speak off is a lot. Whenever I feel like giving up, you were there to cheer me back up. Even before you changed, you were my biggest pillar of support and I really, really couldn't thank you enough but..."

She trailed off and suddenly looked at you with an expression of uncertainty. Something that you were accustomed off whenever Jiheon had trouble with something. Everytime you see Jiheon make that face, it breaks you to pieces and you wished nothing more to help her smile. But something tells you that this issues of her is not something you can easily help.

"But an unexpected thing happen. Call me a crazy bitch for this but I... I actually liked you Y/N."

A phrased that got you frozen on your feet. The words that only played on your mind and imagination over and over again Hoping it would become a reality was now a reality. Your ears heard it very well.

Baek Jiheon.

The girl that became your beacon of hope when things weren't going their way.

The girl that you found amazing and beautiful.

The girl that protected you from the harsh reality.

The girl that made you heart ready to burst.

But

She was also the girl that made you hate yourself.

The girl that cause you so much pain.

The girl that confused you.

Yet

She was still the girl that you loved.

A sad smile appeared on your face. You retraced your steps of thoughts and realized that you already have an answer to your dillema. Jiheon was no doubt the best girl you have ever met and there was no way that the time you and Jiheon spent will be replaced.

"I liked you. I was too afraid to confess to you because I was scared that my confession could destroy the relationship we have. So I tried my best to ignore it and then Sunoo came and I though I should give him a chance. But I thought I would forget my feelings for you but they only grew more. And I ended up breaking up with Sunoo because I don't want to hurt him anymore. "

You were silent as you took this all in. The girl that you liked actually likes you back. That was the only thought that was stuck in your head and you couldn't believe it. You don't know what kind of string pulls was happening somewhere but this was it, Jiheon has finally confessed to you. The moment you have been dreaming off, the moment Jiheon say-

"Y/N, I love you."

3 words, 8 letters. A dream come true for you as Jiheon stares at you with a flustered cheeks and uneasy eyes. You can tell that Jiheon was very genuine with her emotions towards you. This made you flustered as well as your cheeks turn to bright pink leaving you a blushing mess. But time wasn't on your side. The longer the silence keeps playing, The worse case scenario will play out for the both of you. You feared that everything will be awkward between the two of you. With a gulp, you took all the courage you have and finally spoke.

"Jiheon, I-"

"Can't believe Minji got sick on a day like this..."

Hanni spoke to herself while sitting all alone on the beach side observing everyone happily smiling with their friends or loved ones. Today was supposed to be a happy day for Hanni as school was finally over and she gets to watch the fireworks with her friend but she got sick last minute. It also made her feel more sad considering that you are with Jiheon.

Her mood suddenly turned gloomy realizing that you must have the best time with Jiheon.

"He must be all smiles spending time with the girl she likes…while I'm out here, all alone watching the fireworks like the usual. Shit, why should I feel sad anyway? I have always watched the fireworks all alone, what's so different this time?"

Hanni tried to cover up the real reason why she was feeling sad this time unlike the times she was happy being all alone. The fact that a certain Dweeb caught her attention and shifted her perspective towards him. She chuckled at the fact that she was the one who helped him change himself yet she didn't expect herself to fall for him even more.

She saw how you were originally and what you really are a person. A guy with a big heart that was just scared to act because he lacks self confidence in himself. Something that she helped you overcome. But the reason she fell for you wasn't because you changed, it's because of what you showed her even before you changed. It was only now she saw her own mistake of bullying such a person that she felt so wrong falling in love with you. If she can, then she'll do anything to push you to Jiheon because she herself isn't worthy enough.

She can't seem to forgive herself for giving you so much pain and that's one reason of keeping her away from fully confessing to you. In her perspective, you deserve the world, you deserve someone more better, you deserve someone who would love you unconditionally and Hanni has all those things in an X mark.

She looked around hoping to remove those thoughts away as her eyes saw how the beach was filled with couples, families, friends and the like. But majority of them were couples getting all lovely dovey towards each other and a sour expression grew over her face.

"There's no way I will act like that. That's embarrassing!"

Hanni could only sigh as she observe the sea flowing through the sea. The sky has already turn dark and the moon was seen slowly climbing up it's peak but as of the moment, the moon's reflection can be see on the sea. The sound of the sea waves was weirdly relaxing for Hanni as she yawned a little. There was a soft breeze that past her by as she sat comfortably on her solo spot.

"I wonder if things worked out for them. I should probably be ready to face Y/N next school yea-"

"Hanni!"

THUMP THUMP

She froze on her spot. She didn't want to turn her back as she knows who was the person calling her name out. Her heart began to beat faster and all her thoughts began to be in shambles. She could hear your footstep getting closer to her and she wanted to run away right now. But her body was frozen shut as you took a seat next to her.

You didn't speak as you admire the moon's reflection and the sea breeze passing by. Hanni was the opposite, she was staring at you intently. She observed your handsome side profile as her eyes trails every part of your face. From your sharp jaw, small round ears, fluffy messy hairstyle, your Adam's apple and finally to your lips. In her view, your lips looked so perfect for hers as she wanted to know how would your lips locked with hers.

She almost lost herself but she snapped her thoughts away and realize that this wasn't the best situation for her heart and mental state. Something bad could happen or even worse, she might do something she could regret and she didn't want that. She suddenly stood up and turned around but you were quicker than her and grabbed her hand holding it firmly. Hanni silently squealed from the sudden contact as her back was turned against you.

"Why... Why are you here?"

Hanni managed to ask without sounding like a broken person yet you heard her voice. Hanni was at the brink of crying as this broke your heart.

"I wanted to.... See you."

Everything was wrong. This was wrong for Hanni. She didn't like where this was going and her heart was beating fast yet her mind was so confused and hurt. She doesn't want to believe it because she's not the one and she will never be the one for you. She can't accept herself being the person you choose over your first love.

"You could have just called me or texted me to meet up. No need to see me here."

"But I WANTED to see you. I NEEDED to see you tonight. Hanni."

Hanni bit her lips from making enough noise. Her eyes began to show tears as this was getting to painful for her. Her mind didn't want this happen because of the torture she would go through yet her heart was telling her to face it, To face you, to face the person she love.

"Y/N, S-Stop whatever y-your planning. I-I don't wanna to hear it. A-and let m-me go.."

Her body was beginning to shake from the stress of her emotions and her voice was beginning to crack indicating that she was close to tearing up and breaking down. You were no Idiot and you can tell that you were the reason why she was in this state of confusion, of pain and frustration. And tonight was the night you will help her clear all those emotions of hers.

"Pham Hanni, I'm not letting you go especially with how you stole my heart."

Hanni felt like she was just shot straight to her heart hearing those words. It felt so right and at the same time, it felt so wrong to hear those words out of your mouth. Her walls were beginning to break down as small drops of tears began to make their way down to her cheeks.

"S-Stop b-Bullshitiing M-Me and j-just go, leave me already!! Leave me be DWEEB!!"

Hanni's emotion was difficult to control right now and her defense mechanism from you was her screaming and scaring you but that didn't do anything. Instead of backing away, you closed the distance between you and her as you hugged her from behind. Hanni visibly yelped in surprised by your action but she also felt a soft, warm, protective embrace around her small body.

She hated this, she didn't deserve any of this but how come you were so stubborn especially with her.

"Let me go! L-Let me go!!"

Hanni squirmed in attempt to free herself from you hug but the more Hanni resist the more you hugged her closer to you. You don't want to let go of Hanni anymore and you want to protect her at all cost.

"Why... Why can't you let me go... Why do you... Like me..."

Hanni couldn't hold it any longer as she began to cry her heart out. It was painful for you to see and hear Hanni cry infront of you as you could only hug her and explain your take.

"Call me crazy, but ever since you helped me be a better version of myself, I started looking at you differently. I saw different sides of yours that I couldn't see before. The way you tried your best to change yourself made me proud and inspired to do the same. And seeing the side that you rarely show made me realize that you're beautiful, preety, kind hearted, hardworking girl. "

Hanni's strain walls showed cracked as she listened to you.

"Gone were the times when you were called the bully and now is called the the A student in class. How can I not love you when you helped me without any conditions and stayed by my side when I needed it too."

More cracks appeared on the walls.

"I admired Jiheon because of her angelic demeanor but the more I learn about and get to know you, the more I was getting myself deeper and deeper towards you."

"H-How can you say that you l-liked me? I-I bullied you and gave you painful memories. Why do you still love me?"

Hanni turned around and faced you. Her eyes were sad and her tears werw flowing nonstop as you began to stroke her hair.

"Yes you bullied me and I will never forget the pain you gave me."

Hanni avoided your gaze by looking down with her head head hanged low. This was what scared Hanni because there was no justification of what she did towards you yet you only smiled at her.

"But you also changed me and made me a fighter Hanni. You bullied me yet if it weren't for that bullying. I wouldn't be here talking to you, You probably didn't change for the better, and I'll forever torture myself seeing Jiheon happy with Sunoo. You get what I mean? It's like a butterfly effect. None of this would had happened if you didn't bullied me. I wouldn't be here confessing to you because I....."

"I love you Hanni."

Hanni's walls broke down and she couldn't hide it anymore. Her heart won at the end of the day as she cupped your cheeks and pulled you closer to her lips and finally closing the gap as you felt a soft pair of peach flavored lips.

Your world froze momentarily as your lips touched hers. Sparks and fireworks was all over your body. Your mind went haywire before going back online as Hanni pulled herself away from your lips. Her cheeks flushed red as she stared at you with her preety brown eyes. You touched your lips and stared at Hanni and it finally dawn at you at what transpired.

"Y/N. Do you really, really love me? Even after all what I did. You still love me?"

Her face still showed uncertainty but there was also hope now present unlike before. You gulped and took in a deep breath. Your answer to her question will determine what relationship will you have with Hanni.

"Hanni, I already have forgiven you when you apologized ro me. The past is past and what I want to look forwards too is how I'll spend my future with you. I Wil love you even if you turned to an ant, a bear or even a wolf. I love you Pham Hanni. I love you to the moon and back. I love-"

You were immediately cut off by the familiar peach flavored lips as Hanni kissed your lips shutting you up. Once again, her lips just send electrifying tingles all over your body and it also made feel relaxed and loved. You pulled her closer to you as you deepened the kiss.

BANG

Both of you were engulfed by a red light from the sky as both of you pulled away and looked up the sky as fireworks showcase finally began. Multiple fireworks began to explode in the air as the crowd was all mesmerized by the view. But you looked at Hanni as she looked at you two. Both your hearts began to beat again as Hanni pulled you close as your foreheads were at each other's.

"I love you too Y/N. I love you to the moon and back."

She gave you a heartfelt smile that was filled with happiness and love. And you showed your own smiled at her as your heart finally was at ease. You choose the person that your heart desired and didn't listen to your mind. You already went through a rough first love with Jiheon but Hanni, was the perfect love for you.

You could only laugh at the back of your mind realizing how your love story was so unique.

It started from bullying,

To her apologizing to you,

To her helping you change,

To see her change herself as well,

To being friends,

And now

Was finally lovers.

#pham hanni #kpop fanfic #new jeans #hanni #fluff #hanni x reader

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