#don't even care if that's like healthy processing of emotions or whatever.. it works for me

[swankpalanquin]

thank god work has been fairly busy cos that means i can save up all the emotional turmoil bubbling inside me and have a mini breakdown this weekend

[bitchy-craft]

What Your Higher Self Wants You To Know | Pick A Pile

Hello and welcome to this Pick A Pile! In here you'll find out what your higher self wants you to know. I hope you guys enjoy and find this useful. Do make sure to leave comments down below on your experience! I do want to remind you all that this is a General Pick A Pile which means this is for a lot of people; therefore keep what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist

Pick A Pile!

Pile 1:

The cards in this pile are indicating that your higher self wants you to know that it's time to let go of old patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you, things that hold you back or make you feel ways that bring you nothing but negativity. It's time to trust the process of life and let go of any control you may feel the need to have, even if it's difficult for you.

Trust that the universe is guiding you towards your highest good, because it is, even if it doesn't always seem like it. You may also benefit from meditation and grounding practices to help you connect with your inner self and the guidance that is available to you. You don't need to directly speak to yourself, but you can listen to your body and what it wants from you.

Pile 2:

This pile tells me that your higher self wants you to know that it's time to step into your power and embrace your true self, to let go of the things others expect from you and want from you. To choose yourself above anyone else.

You may have been holding back and playing small, but now is the time to step forward and shine. Trust in your own abilities and intuition, and know that you are capable of creating the life you desire, and are capable of succeeding in any goal or wish you may want to succeed in. You may also benefit from setting clear intentions and taking inspired action towards your goals.

Pile 3:

The story this pile tells is about how your higher self wants you to know that it's time to focus on self-care and nurturing yourself, to choose yourself above anyone else and work on whatever you find difficult yet wabt to excel at. You have been giving too much of your energy, time, thoughts and emotions to others, and now it's time to prioritize your own needs and leave behind anything that holds you back from that.

Take time for yourself to rest, relax, and recharge, to do whatever you need to do for a calm mind, for a relaxed mind, a happy mind. Something that could help you with this is by connecting with nature and incorporating more healthy habits into your daily routine; like taking a walk in the forest, or working in a sleeping scedule.

[differenteagletragedy]

Hey not the same anon but I saw the Cliff HCS and was curious if you had any more thoughts on the possible little sibling for cove you mentioned in the first ones. I’d imagine it would definitely be an unplanned ordeal with how I see Cliff at least(obviously okay if you see differently! But the guy just had his own little guy grow up and leave the nest so I can’t see baby 2: electric bungaloo being planned) but I just have this image in my head of both Cliff and (his ofc)MC freaking out because they think MC is dying, rushing to the hospital and getting back a “not dying, just pregnant” and both of them going “oh. OH!” (1/2)

This was a two-parter! Here's the rest:

But yeah! Plus only-child-turned-big-brother Cove is such a fun concept to because while there’s probably a lot of emotions™️ there, I just know he cries the first time he holds the nugget. (Also Canon!MC whether dating Cove or not is honorary big sibling as well). But to wrap it up whether you have any ideas or hcs for this idea yourself(absolutely okay if you don’t ofc!) I love the whole dynamic of Cliff’s MC and I hope you have super fun with writing whatever it is you do next!

-- Thank you friend, I will have so much fun! And I have so many thoughts about Cliff doing all the things!

-- So honestly I could see it going either way. By the time Cove turns 18 and moves out, Cliff isn't even 40 yet, he's active and healthy and being a dad is his favorite thing ever, so I could see him planning a second child with you, after he's sure Cove wouldn't be upset by the idea.

-- Some parents would be like "My child is grown now, I am living my own life and if they don't like it then that is sad but I have to live for myself, even if it upsets them." And that is just not Cliff.

-- But Cove wouldn't mind either, it wouldn't have to be some big ordeal. He loves his dad and wants him to be happy, and he knows you make him happy, and it might be fun to have a little sibling, even if they're going to be a very very little to him.

-- Cliff is going to really like the process of trying for a baby. Sorry but it's true, do whatever you want with that.

-- He'd be really active in tracking your ovulation, mapping out the best times to try, all that. And boy does he have a can-do attitude!

-- When you do get pregnant, what a gift you have given him. He is going to be over the moon. He already takes care you you like nobody's business, but you haven't seen anything yet.

-- But a surprise pregnancy is always fun (in fiction lol, be safe out there)! Once he figured out where you were with it, he would also be on cloud nine, pleased as punch, so on and so forth. Because sure, it is a little wild to raise a whole entire person from the time they are born until the time they are an adult then turn around and repeat the process entirely like that, but he's more than up for it.

-- He knows the baby is going to be their own person, and he'd never try to use them as some sort of redemption for himself. But he is still determined to not repeat his old mistakes. He will communicate with you about everything, you will make every important decision together, a team 100%.

-- Cliff is an absolute dreamboat and it's a shame that we don't talk about it more. We're a small enough fandom that we could be having regular meetings to address issues like this.

-- He goes with you to an ultrasound and you're told that the baby is measuring weeks ahead and is going to be a big baby! Cliff is smug. Also hopeful that this one won't outgrow him like Cove did. He likes being a big boy.

-- And then what if the baby comes out tan with blonde hair looking just like him, what about that.

-- Cliff with a newborn is crazy. He is running on fumes but you'd never know it because he's just so damn happy. You know those dads who never change a diaper or insist on not waking up in the night because they need their rest for work. Could NEVER be Cliff.

-- Cove comes to visit at the hospital after the baby is born, he's not really sure how it will feel and he's been a little detached during the pregnancy, not out of any kind of meanness, just because he can't really grasp at that point what this means for his life, you know? But when he meets the baby for the first time, maybe they have a feature or two of his, some kind of familial resemblance, and THAT'S HIS LITTLE BROTHER/SISTER. He's a big brother. Thoughts racing, tears flowing, utter joy unlocked.

-- He is going to be the best big brother the world has ever seen, he is determined. He asks Derek for advice. He researches how to take care of babies. He wants to babysit! So many presents for the baby. So many plans made for every stage of baby's life. Cove is talking to his MC about them renewing their wedding vows one day and if he should ask Cliff to be his best man again or ask the new baby, and MC is like "........"

-- Kyra is involved, that's her baby's baby sibling and she is so happy for Cliff she can't stand it. You have to be cool with Kyra to be with Cliff too, that's a rule, but it's not like it'll be hard.

-- I said this in another one, but it's going to be really important for Cliff to keep the house in Sunset Bird if at all possible. That's where Cove did most of his growing up, and he knows it would be hard on him to lose it. Cove would be totally fine with giving up his old room that he's not ever going to use again for his new baby sibling.

-- Living by the beach, his best friends across the street, his oldest child living nearby and his baby safe in his arms, and you, the love of his life, by his side through all of it. What a life Cliff has.

[imagine-silk]

Cld i req a continuation of the preitsv platonic yandere peter drabble you posted? Maybe his darling tries to escape or perhaps just some of peters' thought process about it all? No pressure ofc!

》 I didn't get to brush up on all of the things I wanted to in the last one so I will now. Also this was much easier to write because I just took care of my sister's kids.

》 Also my friend is making fun of me saying I'm too soft on my characters so again, Cassandra this is your fault.

Most Spiders are bitten at a young age and his bite was when he was sixteen in the canon I believe but correct me if I'm wrong. He got bit a week before you were born. It could be argued you saved him then too. The presence of a baby does a lot to a person and to him it was profound, especially because he was so young and scared. You grounded him in a way nothing else could in a time of complete and utter chaos.

The reason he didn't want to have a baby with MJ was that he was scared he'd fail. He helped raise you, and even though you came out good and are healthy and happy he does have regrets and sees what he could have done in hindsight. He wasn't there as much as he wanted to be because he was off on Spiderman work and he didn't know what would come up if he had a baby himself. He wasn't sure he could do what took a village.

To him you will always be a child and that will never change. He's handled you screaming in his face for entire nights when you were swaddled, took showers with you because it is impossible to bathe a toddler without getting wet, he's seen you cry after you embarrassed yourself, taught you how to shave when you couldn't ask your parents. You. Are. A. Baby. That's why it was hell to see you get him back on track, he failed you.

Again, this version of him is not the same as he is in AtSV therefore there are different rules. He doesn't have that development and now never will. He can not and will not go back to MJ because not only has he committed a crime he sees this as more important. By that same coin he has not softened so he is harsher than AtSV would be.

He's not going to hit you but he will manhandle you and chastise you for doing bad things. You will never have the option to leave because the whole point was to keep you, and he's not stupid, chances are the second you're out the door you're running. It's clear you want to leave and that's the point of contention between you two. And this isn't going to change because he sees all of this as justified.

It's hard to think he's even a yandere. He doesn't look crazy at all, even and especially when he's being insane. His eyes don't go dark to show intent and he doesn't have excessive emotional responses, not outwardly. There are tells he has when he's getting mad or when he's going to allow something but sometimes it just seems like he turns on a dime. You don't know you're walking on eggshells until you step on a landmine.

He is not manipulative, he is blatantly upfront about everything. You can't leave because you can be gone in a fraction of a second. Will fully say that to your face, that you'll die or get lost, maybe even move to a place he can't follow. There are so many different ways you can leave him. He doesn't sugar coat it. All of his love is real, all of his fear, his anger, the frustration and helplessness, all of it.

All of this is based on and overwhelming fear he didn't know he had. He's always wanted to keep people safe but he never thought he could do anything like this. That being said, he has absolutely no issue with the situation. It's so easy to justify that it's not up for debate. You should have just listened to him.

Now for the other things

When you first got there you tried to leave. You tried to bargain and beg, then you were screaming. After a minute he sighed and said you weren't listening before he threw you on the bed and left the room. It took you a second to realize he wasn't coming back to punish you or whatever, he put you on time out.

There is no guest bedroom. Before all of this he would just give you his room and sleep on the couch but it was getting increasingly difficult to sleep on the couch every night. So he tells you boo-hoo and makes you share. He slept on the couch because around ten you said you were too grown to sleep next to someone but now he doesn't really care, his back was threatening him. One night you wake up and he's holding you close with one hand around your wrist. He was reassuring himself you were still alive, that you had a pulse, that you weren't bleeding, that you were just asleep.

The first escape attempt was pretty flimsy. Peter lived in an apartment so there were people all around you. The first time you were allowed to walk around in the common area and you saw the door had a weird lock. Knowing Peter it was something complicated and very nerdy so there was no opening it from your side. One day he left and said he'd be back in a bit. That phrase always meant ten minutes or two hours, nothing in between. So after twenty minutes you started banging on the door and yelling. He came back four minutes in, right when the lady next door came out check what was happening. He told her his brother's kid was staying over and wasn't too happy about being grounded. The door beeped and you only had a second to move back but weren't fast enough, he grabbed your face before you could ran off. "Do I need to muzzle you?"

One of the next attempts you found out he was Spiderman. You were able to get out of the room and you broke the window that led out to the fire-escape. You cut yourself up pretty bad trying to get out as fast as possible. When you fell out you looked up to see a very surprised Spiderman who then scrambled to get you back inside. Freaking out, he sat you down on top of the table and got a med-kit immediately, so fast you hadn't been able to process what was happening other than the stings of the disinfectant. It only dawned on you that this is Peter when he started talking. He's going through the emotions of panicking concern and baffled anger. You go through the emotions of defeated grief and uncertain surprise that toes the line of fear but not quite, he was keeping you there but he wasn't going to hurt you. After yelling at you he couldn't keep up his anger and started crying. When you go to bed he doesn't follow and you have a better understanding of why he kept saying he couldn't take the chances of you leaving.

There are good times, especially down the line it becomes domestic. It's still contention, cabin fever kills the strongest people but it's not 100%. Again, the whole point of this was keeping you because he loves you and he knows you love him, even now. He'll make weird things for dinner with you and sometimes it tastes awful so you'll fight over the sink to wash your mouth. Morning comes around and you'll pad over to the bathroom tired and brush you're teeth, rock-paper-scissors for the first shower. Maybe he has a bad day and lays on the couch with you only for the both of you to fall asleep. Or you'll play video games while eating the snacks you got him into. All of this can happen because your mind slips into thinking nothing is wrong for a moment.

All of it is so... insane.

[justanothersyscourse]

Had an interesting conversation and I wanted to talk about it. This is a conversation mainly about dysfunction and distress, and ways it presents-- and how you, personally, don't need to be either to still be disordered. SO.

I don't find DPDR episodes to be distressing.

In fact, I would even go so far as to say that in the vast majority of episodes, I enjoy the experience (especially now that I understand what's happening, and the why and how).

No feels, no cares, no existence-- not me, not my life, not my problems. I appreciate the ability to go away for a while from my overwhelming emotions.

And that's SUPER dysfunctional of me, even if I enjoy it and I'm not distressed by it, because I should be able to handle minor stresses without dissociating to high hell-- and worse, enjoying it (behavioral addiction ftw).

But you know who DOES find these episodes to be distressing? My partner, especially when it happens when we're out and about doing things, when he needs us--any of us, all of us, to be there, in the moment, functionally doing adult things with him.

He doesn't need the added stress and work of leading around a floating, vaguely fussy zombie while pushing a cart full of food and trying to sort out the financial part of what's looking to be a couple hundred dollar grocery trip.

Any distress I might feel about these episodes is purely in regards to my partner's negative reactions to them.

He does his best, and he tries hard not to be upset, but I know he is, and sometimes it results in an argument and hard feelings.

This social dysfunction matters.

While I am personally fine (even happy), my symptoms have effects that create dysfunctions in my relationships and with/in other people in my life, and that's just as important to the diagnostic process.

I think it's very much ignored by the communities as an avenue of discussion. I think it gets lost in the conversation of validity and under this general feeling of... The world should cater to us (not in a negative way, just as a general statement). But it shouldn't, and we shouldn't be allowed to just do whatever we want, effects on others be damned.

Like, I don't often see conversations in the system community about dysfunction in positive, healthy relationships. There's lots of discussion around unhealthy relationships with parents and siblings, etc, but not how our symptoms affect the people we care about and those who want to see us get better.

I would even go so far as to say that the opinions and needs of others (like partners) are often ignored in the conversation of dysfunction and distress.

We all act like it's about us, us, us, but we forget that the way our behaviour and symptoms effects others is just as important in the diagnostic process and the discussion of functionality.

I would love to hear others' stories and thoughts on this.

[cderiva]

nanami. pls (dont have to if uncomfy) from this x

Who cries when they find out about the pregnancy: i don't think kento would cry tbh, he’d just need to Process.

Who says it’s a boy and who says it’s a girl: kento doesn't give a shit as long as the kid is healthy. besides, i really don't think he ever thought he'd get to be a dad / have a family so ... truly, getting to have this? he couldn't care less about if it's a boy or a girl.

Who suggests ridiculous names: a thousand percent not kento, and i honestly don’t see the person he’d choose to have a kid with be the type who would suggest ridiculous names either.

Who says ‘veto’ to the most names: probably kento tbh, i think he’d be picky.

Who reads the most ‘What To Expect’ books: in my head, kento is the type to do all the research. he'd always prefer to read things written by actual professionals but eventually he'd get a feeling that it's not enough, he'd want to read first hand accounts. he'd 100% read mommy / parenting bloggers and sections of reddit - he'd want to know what his partner might be experiencing and feeling and might be too scared or embarrassed to tell him. to him, it's simple, really: his partner is carrying their kid for nine months and she'll give birth to them and she'll have to deal with the recovery of that, she's doing the bulk of the work, so it's his job to the informed and prepared. like i'm not going to say it'd always be easy because he's a human being, but honestly, to him being informed and asking questions and being prepared, it's the bare minimum.

Who insists on having a ‘gender reveal’ party: not kento. frankly, he’d be ok with skipping the whole thing. he’d prefer to have just a one on one thing with his partner.

Who thinks ‘Maybe a home birth is a good idea’: not kento. ever. he’d be way too concerned about something going wrong.

Who is in charge when it comes to decorating the nursery: both of them. even if his partner loved decorating he'd want to be involved.

Who talks to the unborn baby the most: probably not kento? i can see him touching the belly a lot, and i think he'd talk to the baby when his partner is asleep or when the baby is kicking a lot - he'd tell the kid to go easy and let his partner rest etc.

Who suggests having sex to kick start labor: he might, tbh, it's science... if it helps, it helps - and if it's something that'll feel nice to both of them, even better. besides they might as well enjoy it bc he would want his partner to recover properly after the kid comes. Who cries the most when the baby is born: i can def see him getting emotional and maybe tearing up, but i don't think he'd cry a lot. he'd be too focused on taking in whatever is happening, and making sure the baby and his partner are okay.

[missmentelle]

Hi. I am wondering how someone like you or people in similar professions cope with so much pain from other people? I imagine most people who choose these kinds of professions are people with high empathy and people who want to help other people. But the fact that you just can’t help everyone, when you see how much pain and suffering so many people are in, isn’t it hard to bear? Or actually, you can’t really help anyone, you can only try to be there and be a sort of guide in what they themselves decides they want to heal/change. You can’t MAKE anyone heal, in the end it’s all up to them, no matter how much you want to and try to. How do you detach yourself from their pain and the outcome, when at the same time you need to be empathetic and invested in their life and emotions? What do you tell yourself? How does one manage that balance of not either becoming indifferent and shutting off empathy or become consumed by their emotions and worrying sick for them and wanting to interfere? I find it really difficult to cope with. (I’m not in this profession but I have considered it, this is just a big problem for me) It pains me a lot when people around me are hurting, even watching/reading/hearing news is so difficult for me that I avoid it, because I just want to make it better and help somehow but I can’t, not enough at least. Because I’m the end I need to leave it up to themselves.

To be honest, after nearly a decade in this field, the thing I struggle the most with is not the people who don't want to be helped - people have the right to make their own decisions, and I can make peace with that. What I really struggle with is seeing the many, many people who desperately want help, but have no opportunity to receive it.

I have worked with homeless and insecurely-housed youth for most of my career. I have watched many, many youth that I have cared about cause a lot of harm to themselves and others, despite doing my best to give them support and connect them to the right resources. You are absolutely right - you cannot make someone heal, and sometimes people are simply not in a place where they are ready to start the healing process, or even to start thinking more critically about their actions and experiences. Sometimes, people never get to that point - I have known a lot of people who did not get to live to see 25. That's an enormously painful and heavy thing. I remember the name and face of every youth I have ever lost, and there are countless more that I worry about all the time, even if I am no longer part of their lives.

It's not easy to cope with that kind of pain, but I find (I think) healthy ways to manage it. I do have to remind myself that it is not my role to save people; it is my role to do the best I can to provide the best support I can for whatever amount of time I have with a person, and I think I do that for all the folks that I work with. The support that I can give to a young person is not nothing, even if their stories do not have happy endings - if I can give a young person even a single day where they felt listened to and heard, even if I could not solve the problems, that is a worthwhile thing. My goal is not to steer people toward "good" decisions - my goal is to offer accurate information and a space for people to think critically about their decisions, and make informed choices about the decisions and risks that they feel are best for them. I am at peace with the work that I personally do with the clients I work with.

What I am not at peace with is the system I work within. For every client I work with who simply doesn't want help, I have dozens who are screaming out for it and are unable to get it. At the moment, I manage a short-term residential program for youth in crisis. The youth we work with have so many needs - they need housing. They need stability. They need a mental health appointment that isn't eight months away. They need reliable access to their prescriptions. They need educational and employment opportunities that are meaningful to them, with the supports they need to succeed. And for most of them, those basic supports are simply... not available. It doesn't matter how ready and eager the youth is; waitlists for basic services are months or even years long, and there's just nothing that any one individual worker can do to fix that overnight. It is not realistic to expect a person to make huge progress with their mental heath while they are living on a cot at an emergency housing program, cared for by a constantly-revolving cast of strangers, and yet that is what our system requires of its most vulnerable young people. Our system is pointlessly cruel, and benefits almost nobody. That part, I struggle with a lot.

As far as working in the field goes, I now supervise a large team of other professionals, and these are feelings that I help my staff work through in their own practice. The best advice I can give to people in the helping professions - or people potentially interested in a career there - to maintain your own mental health in the face of so much suffering is:

Take breaks. Use single every minute of your paid time off. Sometimes you need to take a break from a particular setting or even from the field entirely; if you feel burnout or despair or nihilism starting to creep up on you, start looking for an exit route. There will always be more jobs in social work/healthcare/emergency response, etc, but there is only one you.

Have a life outside of helping. I can't work full-time in this field and also spend every spare minute of my free time on activism and volunteering in this field. Perhaps some people can manage that, but if I tried it, my rage would simply consume me. I need other hobbies and interests if I'm going to be a functional person - whether it's painting, Netflix, novels, working out, cooking, time with friends, sports, camping or cars, everyone needs something they just enjoy.

Have a good supervisor. Obviously this is easier said than done, but if you are working in a field where you are constantly exposed to others' suffering and trauma, you should expect to have a supervisor who is available to debrief, discuss, vent and provide helpful feedback on the work you're doing. Supervision needs to be a safe space where you can speak openly about your struggles. If you do not have a supervisor who is doing that for you, it might be time to start the hunt for a new, more supportive job.

Remember your role. If I task myself with personally saving the whole world and fixing all of the problems I will lose my goddamn mind. I think it's important to remind ourselves "This is my role, this is the support I can provide, this is how I will know that I am doing a good job". "Saving people" can never be the goal I assign myself; if my role is to have supportive conversations and make connections to resources, I need to remind myself that those are the things I need to evaluate myself on and that I am doing a great job by doing that well, even if I am not "fixing" the client's entire life.

Remember your clients' autonomy. I think it's actually incredibly harmful for people in the helping professions to entertain the idea that they can "save" people, or that the outcome of someone's life is all dependent on how they do their jobs - I think that harms the professional as well as the client. We need to remember that we are not there to make people's choices for them. If a client continues to engage in "high-risk" behaviour, but they are well informed of the risk and know where they can find information and resources on managing that risk, that is a successful outcome, even if it doesn't instinctively "feel" like one.

Compartmentalize. Going home after work and staying up all night worrying about my clients might seem like an empathetic thing to do, but it benefits no one - it doesn't change their circumstances and just burns me out faster, leaving them with less support. Obviously we are all human and it can be hard to "switch off" concern and thoughts about clients after leaving work, but I think it's a skill that is important to develop over time. It might feel cold to think "okay, it's 5:05, no more thinking about clients until 9am tomorrow", but doing this allows me to be more effective in the hours that I am actually available to provide support.

I would honestly encourage anyone in the helping professions who is struggling to seek mental health support for themselves. Many therapists have their own therapist. It is, truthfully, not easy to process the sheer amount of pain and suffering we see on a daily basis, and I think it's actually very important for all of us to seek the appropriate professional help with it, and not simply "suck it up" and push away our own pain because our clients are suffering more. And, ultimately, this profession is just not for everyone. Some people are able to do this work and still enjoy their own lives, but some people simply are not, and there is absolutely no shame in admitting that to yourself. It is okay to realize that being exposed to that level of pain every day will harm you, and that that's not something you're able to take on - there are ways to help that don't involve such constant direct exposure to human misery, and we all need to keep ourselves healthy before we are able to help others. Hope this answers your question! MM

[divinequo]

It's not about assembling a healthy relationship it's about what you think would be interesting to watch and boy when I tell you it would be interesting to watch Glam and Ches fail at homosexuality I mean that. Their gay divorce would have a bodycount. Lacho vibes. Disaster ensues.

That absolutely is a fair point, I can see what you mean by disaster, I feel like they both would be incredibly awkward towards each other and fail at trying to do basically romantic stuff lmao

What I meant was a bit more serious though

(TW for Dr*g mentioned and ab*$3 implied)

From what we've seen both are extremely mentally unstable, especially glam in what is shown from his side of the story, I deeply apologize to all chesglam enjoyers (that includes myself as well) but truth is that ches is ignorant, selfish, reckless, and distraction driven, while glam is manipulative, controlling, unpredictable with his emotions, anger issues, etc, both of them are horrible to others at times (I'm not sure who is worse considering I don't have all their 'moral crimes' on a list ofc) but to be brutally honest, they're both bad people, everyone in this show is almost, (with the exception of heavy and lif) but we love them all BECAUSE its realistic, that's apart of the appeal, but with those two and their personalities at play, along with their dynamic, while at surface level seems like a pure dream, if we imagine chesglam from a realistic point of view

its quite horrifying to actually think about

With ches's substance ab*se problems he'd be unattainable, swift with his actions, and as we've seen, forgetful and careless, (ofc most of these issues are merely due to the actual substances effecting his body but still) while glam is controlling of smaller and bigger aspects, it's admirable when it's on more casual things like schedules and meal plans but pin that over to ches and their relationship and you can see where the problems would start to settle in, yelling at him during relapses as ches throws up in the bathroom, and insulting him (again mostly canon) but it being almost all the time?? Not to mention how when he has an idea of plan he literally doesn't pay attention or care about anything else, plus the lack of understanding towards how addictions work and how it effects the brain chemistry in the process would seriously lead to some loud and incredibly stressful nights for ches, but ofc he'd probably be high during it or just knocked out completely, also the way when ches lost his temper glam just immediately smacked him?? And slapping him across the face, over an emotional outburst, (yes i understand ches was insulting Victoria but like.. he didn't even know her??) and I'd prefer not to think about what exactly Glam would do to him if he actually did something wrong that was more important than what he said, in theory its ofc ok to ship them, suffer all they've had a lot of cute moments together and their friendship was genuinely healthy and more valuable when they were younger, it's just in my opinion, the combination of one guy being incredibly controlling and guilt tripping those he cares about to get what he wants and another guy who is addicted to seriously harmful substances and is emotionally unstable due to his mothers lack of attention and sudden absence and therefore being vulnerable as a result, is very... Interesting yet... You know... Not desirable to me to see or watch

All non illegal ships are valid, ship whatever you want, I ship chesglam too because the idea is cute, I apologize for the rant it's just I've been thinking this for a long while since we saw the new episode snd got more insight into their characters, would love to hear your opinions though and thoughts, stay safe everyone xoxo～☆

[a-tale-of-legends]

I do love giving personalities and lore to my ocs parents. Like it just adds more depth to my ocs and is generally pretty fun? And not just my ocs, some canon characters too. And I'm gonna talk about my two favorites ( next to Jazz, Soul and Grayson)

Felicity and Hop's mom ( I FORGOT HER NAME AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT) are both grieving widows who have to balance taking care of their kids while keeping things afloat. I feel like neither of them properly grieved over their lost husbands.

Hop's mom especially, since I feel she immediately started to stress over work and stuff, as well as taking care of Leon and Hop. The best way I can describe her is a more stern Camilla from TOH. She cares deeply for her sons, and genuinely want them to be happy and thrive, but there's also this....barrier between them. A lack of understanding? Hop clearly craves an affection that's different from how Leon and his mom shows it, for one. And I also feel like the loss of her husband kinda made her just a bit emotionally unavailable? Only a bit, she's not as bad as Cassandra ( Carol's mom) who always had a sense of apathy/ resentment towards her child. But for Hop's mom, I feel like it would be hard for Hop to talk to her about things? Both Hop and Leon, especially Leon with kinda being what keeps them afloat. In general, the Ramírez family's ( the surname I have them btw) situation is very messy and complicated. There's not much clear communication between them. And let me be clear, Mama Ramírez loves her babies. She would do whatever it takes to make sure they are happy and healthy. But even with all that love, she's prone to make mistakes. Mistakes that can- and kinda did- cause a rift in her family. Post Swsh, I definitely see her making steps to better help her boys and herself, since again, she never properly grieved over her husband. She never let herself be emotional about what happened, or a lot of things really. Hell, I bet the darkest day was the first time in a long time Hop and Leon ever saw their mom cry. Openly. What I'm saying is that this family needs therapy.

Felicity by comparison almost seems like the more sweeter of the two? She isn't as stern as Ms. Ramírez, and is more in tune with her own emotions. But Soul's death really affected her. Not in the same way as Naomi, where she got Cursed-Chosen, but in how she worries. A lot. Naturally, it's fine to worry, but when it comes to Naomi her worrying kinda hinders Naomi's growth. I don't think Felicity is the cause for Naomi's meekness- she has always been shy and anxious - but she didn't help with it either? I feel like Felicity inadvertently made Naomi feel like she couldn't go past what she's used too. She doesn't mean for it to be that way, obviously, she wants her daughter to grow and become who she wants to be, but her actions kinda make it hard? I don't know how to really describe my thought process here. Felicity isn't strict, she doesn't make Naomi follow hard set rules ( minus the wields thing but that's kinda universal among the town) and she does her best to encourage her when trying new things. But she's also kinda... restrictive? I don't know how to describe it. Just that parental worry getting in the way, I guess ( and I know that it's fine for a parent to worry, just maybe she's doing it too much? Again,idk).

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e5 the one you've been waiting for (w. meredith glynn)

thule society nazis in the recap, oh boy. my fave. remember nothing of this episode (8x13 apparently). though i do remember neck stabbing a nazi to non je ne regrette rien (but i think that was a different nazi stabbing episode??? 11x14). ps totally thought rien was laugh because ríen in spanish is "they laugh". sometimes similar words between french and spanish are the same! sometimes not :P i don't regret anything not quite the vibe of i don't regret laughing lol

DEAN I'm gonna stop you right there, okay? Look, Mom needed her space, and I told you I'm cool with it. SAM But are you really?

so here for sam continuing to poke dean about this. dean should retaliate by making sam deal with something

SAM Uh, rich people like antiquing. I don't know. DEAN I say we check it out. SAM Uh… (Sighs) All right. In the meantime, you sure you don't wanna talk about – DEAN No. SAM Dean, it's called sublimation. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, it's kinda my thing.

i had to look it up because i was thinking of the science thing but psychologytoday.com says:

Why is sublimation a mature defense? Sublimation is considered a successful defense mechanism because it often leads to positive outcomes—and outcomes that are often better than the alternative. For example, let’s say a man going through a divorce emotes by destroying his ex-wife’s property or lashing out at his son. In the case of sublimation, on the other hand, the man may channel his energy into an important project at work. Even though sublimation is a more productive defense than others, it’s still healthy to fully confront and process the underlying emotions involved.

look at that, it's a mature defense mechanism! something something processing emotions too. details details

miracles of miracles they turned on the lights instead of continuing to poke around in the dark with flashlights (xfiles was very silly about that too, kind of a trope of the genre i suppose. drama!)

hi localhost loopback webmail. that is a very nice little fake email screen though. and peekaboo sam in the mirror

finally someone reacting appropriately to overhearing one of their conversations 😂

keep trying to figure out if nazi boy here just has a bad cut/style/color or it's a wig. this is why i don't remember these episodes. could not care less

send in sam to talk to the girl, they can bond over being vessels for pure evil! lol she called bullshit on sam's lucifer vessel story, very reasonable

neverending fight scene.

ok same kid and now it looks like it is his hair. maybe that was a reshoot or something?

i guess british mol villains not enough cartoon evil, bring in nazi thule whatever douchebag his dad is

haha WAIT! i know this diner LOL. i used it for my archivist painting! and in the process of doing that i was checking the outside views too. i think this is the same clip in fact, just darkened to look like night. did they forget to get an exterior shot of something? now i wonder how often they do this. only reason i recognized it was because i'd spent hours staring at pictures for that painting

s1e20 dead man's blood

s1e20 / s12e5

that is so funny. looks like they took out the searchlight from the car too. babies

sam's reaction to nazi defector boy sliding in is cracking me up. kid's hair back to looking strange. maybe it's the color? it just doesn't look right on his head

mentioning again how great his hair is looking this season! what a turnaround. clearly should tag for me rambling about his hair, like the sideburns. looking at the search for hair on my posts, i talk about everyone's hair. a lot lol (best hair, claire by a mile. ugh. so gorgeous). sigh, back to nazis

i had some weird light golden brown hair for a minute when i was using an old box of dye and i was sick of fighting the white hair. kind of looks like that. also, what were they eating? chocolate pie? cheesecake? cake? stallllling

EXCUSE ME WHAT. wheezing

the matrix (1999) / the magicians s1e4 the world within the walls

reminds me of a cross between the matrix bug and the little gold scorpion thingamajig in the magicians. but way goofier

oki doke

kinda feels like this whole episode was an excuse to get sam to say this. and for the mood pick-me-up of getting to kill hitler for dean

DEAN You know, I was thinkin'… we passed a bakery on the way into town. Sign said, “Best pie for a thousand miles”. SAM So now you want pie? DEAN I killed Hitler. I think I deserve some pie. Did I mention I killed Hitler? SAM I'm never gonna hear the end of this, am I? DEAN Probably not.

very cute

[thedreamwolf]

I was debating posting this over here, but it felt like it was worth talking about? And who knows, maybe writing it down will help me work through some of it in my own head. Curious to see if anyone else has any experience with stuff like this.

This is a post about grief. Specifically grief over fictional characters. D&D characters, in this case.

I know, I know. Up until today, fiction felt like a silly thing to get really upset over for me. It's not like it has real life consequences. It's not like this was someone I actually knew and have fond memories or spending time with, nobody who knew me or cared about me. The world continues on as if nothing happened. Nobody real died.

But I've had to take some time today to try to figure this out, because if this loss is not real, then why is it hitting with the same harshness as when I actually lost a pet? Something real, something I'd loved and cared for for years?

For context, I'm in a roleplay-heavy dungeons & dragons group with several good friends and my partner. We've been running it for over half a year nearly every week. It deals with some deep stuff. Lots about bonding through adversity, lots about corrupting influences that can warp and break a person, lots about finding the hope and the happiness even when the going gets tough. During last night's session, my and my partner's character found themselves deep in trouble that they've been heading towards for a little while now. And they died.

Do I think it was unfair? No, it was a reasonable and justified end to their arcs. Am I mad at the DM for letting it happen? No, he checked in with us a lot about what we were comfortable with and if this was okay, and for the story, it was. And he did everything he could to make it fair and give us closure. We knew this could happen, this sort of thing has happened before. Am I mad at the friends, the other players, who let this happen? No, not really – they had their own in-character reasons for doing what they did, and they stayed true to them.

Am I mad at myself for letting this happen? A little. Mostly I think about what I could have done differently. It kinda feels like I failed them. Even in giving them a life and a story to be proud of. But mostly I'm just sad.

I was fine when things were actually happening last night. I was so focused on giving them their closure, in finishing our their story. I was engaged in figuring out the next steps for the campaign. But then when I woke up, I broke. And since then, every little thing is setting off a new wave of grief. Like realizing that they'll never see another sunset as I was looking out the window. Or remembering the fun times we had playing them. I had to call out of work this morning because I was such a mess – obviously I couldn't explain exactly why to my boss and coworkers, other than that I'd had an emotional weekend and that me and my loved ones were all okay.

Even though this loss isn't real, it has still majorly affected me enough to impact my daily functioning. So, I'm trying to figure out what I'm actually grieving so I can work through it. Is it all the things they never got to accomplish? Is it the time spent discovering their story with my friends? Did I get too emotionally connected again? Am I actually mad that we couldn't find a different way to resolve things?

Whatever it is, my boyfriend and I are trying to process things as best we can, in our own ways. He's been very supportive and wonderful. I can tell that my group is all a bit shaken up by the loss, we've been chatting together a lot about it today. There are brighter things coming up next for the party. I'm mostly just trying to figure out some healthy coping mechanisms and get back to normal. And also to figure out why it's this strong so that I don't get like this again.

But boy is it weird talking about it and needing to make life concessions to deal with it when I'm so upset over something that isn't even real.

[brxnd-new-dxy]

What color character are you?

Zoro

Green Character (Can you say ironic? lmao)

Green characters are often hotheaded and brash, unafraid to speak their mind. They make for excellent leaders and teachers, and tend to be most devoted to a specific field, which they do well in. They have a lot of confidence in themselves. and although they can't always see themselves positively, they are good about respecting themselves. They have a lot of common sense but are equally likely to strategically plan something out as they are to rush in on an impulse. They often have to work hard to get others to respect them, and sometimes receive less of it when people find out who they are. Still, they are not afraid to make others uncomfortable by being themselves and are unlikely to waver when someone wants them to change against their will. They can be brash and loud, but also very quiet and secretive. Their humor can be a bit rude, and they don't always display friendship and affection to the people they care about in the most conventional ways. However, they're quite easygoing, witty, and fun-loving people. They don't like when people are flighty and prefer to work with people who don't quit and stand their ground. They stand out from others, both because of the way they approach the world, and because of how skilled they tend to be at what they do. Some people may not suspect that they are harmonious because of their blunt nature, but they are surprisingly good and reasonable diplomats, and can employ a lot of meaningful tact when the situation calls for it. They feel a sense of distance or abandonment from their parental figures, as they often become emotionally or physically absent sometime in their life. Green characters hate being told what to do and put into a box and are likely to challenge authority. They can be hard to work with at times due to their stubbornness, but they bring a lot to the table and tend to round out their friend groups. They need people in their lives who respect them, care about them, and listen to them, as well as offer them companionship without requiring them to conform to a certain preset standard.

Sena

Pink Character

Pink characters are generally sweet and nice people who care about their friends deeply. They don't often choose to be a part of the action, but instead get swept up in it almost against their will. They often aren't fully equipped for the situations that are thrown at them and can have a lot of feelings of inadequacy as a result. They don't tend to be fighters, often preferring learning and discovery to anything else. They will go along with risky plans in order to help their group of friends or organization that they're close to, but they're generally terrified of whatever they're doing. They are lighthearted and have good sense of humor, fun to banter with but find it hard to be genuinely mean to others. They are pretty emotional and sensitive, which turns out to be one of their greatest strengths. They have a lot of emotional maturity and are good at recognizing others' needs. They are one of the voices of reason amongst a group of often impulsive people, which manifests itself in ways that others might dismiss as paranoia. (It is in some ways, but their fear of what might go wrong is also crucial step to making the planning process so sound.) Even around people who care about them, they can tend to be the butt of the joke, and don't have healthy boundaries to stop it. As they grow, they don't necessarily become less fearful, but they do have a stronger sense of courage to get through their fears. They are compassionate friends and often do small things to show that they are thinking of the people that are around them. They are dependable and trustworthy and a good ally to have. Pink characters need people around them who won't mock them for being sensitive or having fears but will validate their feelings and encourage them to overcome their doubts about themselves. They need their boundaries to be encouraged and respected, and for others not to pressure them into doing something they're said no to.

Tagged by: @crossingredqueensrealm (thanks for the tag~)

Tagging: @watchfxrthefangs (whoever you feel like trying!), @theshsllibrarian, @ghostprince-rule, and whoever else feels like giving this a shot!

[qualitativenotquantitative]

Composition (or lack thereof)

I'm feeling a little decomposed! Decomposed is a funny word because it has very different connotations than saying "not composed". It's a process involving the decay of organic materials. Rot. Really lovely stuff--in terms of the way nutrients are cycled through our ecosystems.

I suppose this is not relevant to what I am trying to say. But yeah. The funny thing is that I really thought he was different? I thought that him not being you would mean that this wouldn't happen again. And maybe I was right. The process was very different. The outcome will be different. I will be friends with him again some day, and I'm probably never going to see or talk with you again.

Because I was ghosted! You ghosted me! You disappeared and I got to shove everything we had into the pile of rotting organic substances; I got to pick up the mess you left behind! I was bitter and resentful and I hated the fact that I missed you even underneath it all. And then, you apologize (over 6 months later), and it's like WOW. This was really all I wanted from you. Not even a joke. And there's this rush, because suddenly there's nothing to be angry about! I appreciate the apology (and the explanation), and even if we've both moved on from each other's lives, it is genuinely so freeing to think that I don't have to hate you anymore.

But on the other hand. Along comes this other guy! This one simply did not like me. He was not ready to be in a relationship, and I was apparently not his type. And that's not the best thing to hear after you've been dating for 2+ months (and I kinda wish he'd told me that before he slept with me two weeks earlier), but whatever. He communicated it in the end. I'm not thrilled about that process either, but at least he had the guts to end it with me. A small consolation.

Anyways, I suppose that just leaves me. Returning to the rot I've been cultivating. Compost. The hope, that if I break it down enough, I can recycle it-- the very same love and lessons that left me feeling so bitter--into something softer. Maybe I'll never really understand it? How you can claim to care about someone and then leave anyways?

I think it's a little funny how insistent they both were about how I did nothing wrong and how it was entirely on them. Two very different people and situations. But they both chose to leave, and they both felt the need to tell me that it wasn't my fault. And maybe it helped to hear? I don't really know. Because it did feel personal, even knowing that it wasn't really about me. And maybe they were trying to be kind in whatever ways they knew how. But honestly, I don't know if I really get it.

Like hey, maybe you could've communicated how you were feeling before things got to the point where you felt the need to cut me out. Maybe you don't tell someone you're falling for them if you're going to tell them less than 2 weeks later that you can't see a future with them. Like idk. Maybe you could have tried half as hard as I did to make it work. I'm grateful that they decided not to string me along, but it doesn't help with the feeling like I-am-slowly-decomposing-and-it's-just-something-I-have-to-figure-out-for-myself. Weird, icky feeling.

I honestly think part of the weirdness is that I know that I would *never* treat someone else the way either of them treated me. Like I was disposable—or only worthy of attention or affection when they had the emotional capacity to give it to me; like they only ever cared about me on their terms. I don’t know if there’s any excuse that justifies treating someone that way. I don’t stop having feelings just because you’re in a bad mood. And you know what? I tried to justify it sooooooo much, but at the end of the day, maybe I just can’t relate. I don’t get why either of them did what they did. But I also don’t have to get it to know that it wasn’t healthy for me.

Maybe it's something I'll understand when I'm older.

[blackstockart]

Stroke Recovery

 Stroke recovery, for me, is a process of fending off folks using me to feel better about themselves.

Perhaps its religious fervor, folks trying to get to heaven. Recently I learned about grandiose narcissism. Dark empathy. Is there a difference? One wonders.

I like it when folks, like adults, talk to strangers and ask for what they want, "Do you need a hand?" I get to reply in my mind, "I appreciate your asking, I prefer to keep our social distance in a pandemic, besides its of benefit to my situation to get my own door, groceries, dropped item or whatever." Usually, I just shake my head, if I'm feeling vociferous I say, "No, thank you." (I'm an introvert and I like it.) I often had temp gigs as a recreational therapist in long term care after graduating formal art school. Don't treat people like they are broken was the rule.

Last week at the gym a woman rushed up and said, "I'll help you", and opened the door then stood there holding it for me. I stood there as well and said, "No thank you." She responded by not responding, cold shoulder, shunning. What normally is a healthy way to break the ice and perhaps start a new friendship becomes F.O.G. fear, obligation, and guilt.

I have social skills and I like to flirt.

Aaron Beck a father of modern cognitive therapy said in the introduction to his 1976 book, Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders, something like, there is a difference between banter and abuse but it takes a social skill to tell. When they go straight to being abused and victimized I just assume they suffer from narcissism and I get out of Dodge. Cue the Twilight Zone theme song. Seek nicer friends.

Usually it's the men who react aggressively to my polite no thank you. A park official at a government facility attempted to grab the door out of my hand, I use the door for a balance aid, and I'm really strong after daily exercise and weight sessions. He couldn't budge it, I just said "No thank you I'm using the door right now." He kept pulling on the door intruding into my space, unmasked during a pandemic, attempting to force his will upon me. "Please excuse me I need to get by" I said. "I'm helping you.", was his response. "Please excuse me I need to get by." rinse repeat till he leaves in a huff shedding virus and wounded feelings.

What makes them think I need/want help? I'm at the gym working out for an hour, and someone feels the need to drop everything and get my door when I go to leave. Rational explanations are useless when dealing with the irrational.

Like the street person, minister, swami, salesman or politician who talks softly in an attempt to get you closer, it's always a dark motive and never in your best interests.

As my street survival course British Special Services expert taught me, if they can't get close to you they can't harm you. So here is this pillar of the community and their church signaling their virtue being treated suspiciously, like a bum in an alley.

I am with my mobility assistive device, wheelchair, walker or cane being targeted as an easy mark for whatever their purposes are. It's never communication companionship or sex, the healthy needs all people share. I find it's an attempt to leech resources, time and energy usually, off the ill or disadvantaged as easy marks who are seen as not assertive of their rights.

The 12 step programs are a training ground for dark empathy leeches. Don't even get me started...

[yandere-daydreams]

Had a thought: some eldritch or otherwise supernatural yandere who starts off using their power to be a gentle, loving guardian and just wants to live a long life with you... but they notice you're growing more independent, always going out and talking to those other, horrible, nasty people. So they start distorting your memories, your perception of time, even halting your aging process simply so you'll never have to leave them, so you'll never stop being their cute, affectionate little mortal.

tw - unhealthy relationships, obsessive behavior, forced codependence, memory/reality altering.

In their own defense, they do try to be gentle. They give you memories to hold onto, flustered stuttering and idyllic meet-cutes and scenes pulled from unconscious desires and long-forgotten fantasies, and they do what they can not to take advantage of you, to play human, to genuinely become someone you'd like, someone you'd want to be with, if they hadn't helped you along. They touch you softly, kiss you sweetly, and when something goes wrong, when they have to smooth over an argument or take the edge off of one of your little misunderstandings, they work quickly, carefully, cutting away as delicately as they can and salvaging whatever they think would hurt you to lose. They don't tap into your emotions, change your personality to better suit your needs - because they love you, because they want to be with you, because they don't want to change you, even if they could, even if it would be more convenient to, sometimes, just sometimes, when your temper gets the better of you and you can't seem to trust your own lover. They wouldn't, though, because they love you. Because they know you love them, too.

It'd be more convenient to get rid of all your little friends, all those noisy coworkers, the family that can't seem to understand that you're happy with them, that they're enough to keep you safe and healthy and content. They could, if they wanted to, snap their fingers and make every distraction disappear, but they know that would hurt you, and they don't want you to see you as some big, lumbering monster, too cold-hearted and too jealous to ever let you out of its sight. They're kinder than that, they care about you too much for that, and want to be delicate, to be benign, to hold you close as they carve out any memories you might have of all those disgusting little insects, any affection you might still harbor for creatures that just aren't worth your time, that just can't love you the way they can. They don't take anything away, or give you anything you wouldn't want, they just help you along, lend you a guiding hand, make sure you don't panic when your hair stops growing and your skin fails to pale or tan, when your injuries begin to heal a little too quickly and don't feel quite like yourself anymore. They keep you calm, comfortable, content as they snip away what you don't need, what you'd be better off without, as they shape you into something more... fitting, something that won't falter and rot so quickly. They love you, after all. They're always going to love you.

And eventually, you're not going to be able to stop yourself from loving them back.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Idk how to tell you, last anon, but feeling guilt for hurting others is something your environment teaches you to do. And if you were raised and taught for 14-15 years since you were 5 to NOT feel guilt of regret about hurting others and treat it as something normal by people like AFO and Ujiko, who themselves don't feel guilt about hurting others, it's probably, most likely, will become your norm anf will dull your sense of regret. It's astonishing that Shigaraki still feels sick when he kills - if anything, it only proves that he's a very strong-willed person and does, in fact, feels guilt, just doesn't understand it.

I've been insisting a LOT about how Tomura can't be judge by normal rules, because had no normal life.

Because Tomura had the opportunity to live within society for his first 5 years of life, he has a set of emotions and behaviors that come from those years. He was severely taught to feel guilt and shame because Kotaro was always punishing him, but it was a extreme method and Tomura ended up twisting the meaning of guilt and shame. After that, let's not forget Tomura lost his memory. He didn't remember clearly his first 5 years of life until MY Villain Academia, and even the reason why he leveled up during his fight with Re-Destro was because he needed to be free of his guilt and shame.

Now, teach a kid to feel constantly guilty and ashamed, make that kid go through a severe trauma and tell the kid now that his hatred is a good thing, that he needs to keep feeling it and that he can destroy whatever he doesn't like.

Why you have is a human whose normal thinking process says:

"I feel very bad/guilty because I did something bad / I hurt someone / made a mistake > I don't want to feel this bad > so the solution must be eliminating the what makes me feel bad"

What I find interesting is that Tomura still has the ability to care and feel bad about things, but it was AFO who normalized using violence to eradicate any problem, instead of work on it in a more healthy way.

Tomura is also very aware of his role in the cycle of violence, for him there's no breaking that cycle without exposing everyone to it, so people can stop pretending it's not a problem, so people is forced into doing something about it. And good or bad, Tomura achieved that. All Tomura has gone through showed the world the same violence Tomura has suffered, to the point life will never be the same.

The fact that Tomura still has in his heart the kid he used to be, that's impressive. He misses his dog, he was able to forgive Hana and tell her it was okay, he was able to be a child with his mother. He is able to know he's on a dangerous position and he needs help. He has never stopped looking for help, in fact.

People tends to separate Tenko and Tomura as if they were two persons, but they are only the same person in two different points of time and surrounded by different environments. So one should ask, could Tomura be different if he wasn't surrounded by the life AFO build for him? Never forget AFO even built Shigaraki Tomura from the name, from the looks, from the feelings. And to avoid Shigaraki changing in a way AFO couldn't control, he kept Tomura away and isolated from society for years.

Both Tenko and Tomura are very real, but Tomura is the person Tenko was forced to be in order to survive. Tenko was always being repressed by his family and Tomura is the maximum expression of such repression, so having Tenko in Tomura's heart is the visual key to understand that Tomura is not just a monster, but a person longing for freedom and change, for connection, for humanity.

The most people simplifies Tomura's situation, the worst their takes are going to be. That's exactly why the villain-hero narrative / rethoric doesn't work, because it oversimplifies a complex social, political, economical situation. If people want to see everything black and white, they are going to miss crucial facts and clues to understand the plot as a whole.