#don't know why this gets on my nerves so bad like realistically do what you want but also don't because i will zap you with my brain lasers

[feenmies]

feenie pet peeve #236: people refusing to draw the arch in simon's nose. i will always be disappointed if it's not there. even in the lowest quality pixelated photos of that man He does not have a button nose. Please

[aballedofbookworms]

Helpless part 7 (I'm in an airport rn lol)

The two stepped into a mall in New York that Nico could not bother to remember the name of, Piper grabbed his hand dragging him through the mall. Nico constantly reminded himself that human contact would not kill him and that it was probably a good thing Piper was dragging him along considering he had no idea where he was going.

"I still don't understand why I couldn't just shadow travel us here."

"Will threatend to kill me and Chiron if we let you shadow travel."

"Of course it was Solace, I would expect nothing less from him." The son of Hades said, rolling his eyes. The two demigods walked through the stores both trying on different clothes and Piper this time failing to convince Nico to get anything that wasn't black. All while Piper teased him about a certain son of Apollo,

"Be realistic Piper, he's probably straight anyways."

"No he's not actually, he's bi. Leo was going to tell you but he couldn't find you, apparently the rest of Camp knows." Nico's face lit up for a second before looking back down.

"There's still no chance. He is literally the embodiment of sunshine, I am the child of Hades, God of the fucking Underworld. There is no sunlight there."

"Nico he clearly cares about you."

"It's his job."

"But he checks in on you so much more than anyone else."

"Because he doesn't trust me to stay alive."

"If he didn't trust you to be alive he would have kept you in the infirmary."

"There's still no chance he likes me."

"You're the only one who thinks that Nico, he gave you a nickname for Aphrodite's sake. He doesn't do that with anyone else who is 'just a patient'"

"He did that to get on my nerve."

"Gods you're so dense, wanna go to McDonald's now?"

"Oh, sure." Nico said trying to hide the shake in his voice.

"Oh and di Angelo, Will threatened to kill me if I didn't make you eat a full meal so yeah."

"Of course he did."

***

They finished ordering, Piper had only gotten some fries and a drink because apparently the vegetarian options 'were so bad they tasted like grass'. Nico just nodded, not pointing out the fact that not ten minutes ago she was threatening him to eat a full meal today because Will would kill her if he didn't and here she was barely eating herself.

"Number 57!" Nico walked up and grabbed the tray, he breathed in deeply. He'll be okay, if he acted calm then he could play it off. He would just walk off for a bit, Piper didn't have to know. The two started to eat, it still tasted as good as Nico remember but he could barely get anything down his throat. He already felt sick but he knew he could withstand at least another five minutes without throwing up, he tried to keep conversation to a minimum putting all his energy into seeming fine. After another few minutes passed, then Nico muttered,

"Bathroom." Before walking away, he tried to keep his pace normal but already knew he was walking away too fast and Piper would know something was up. He quickly walked inside and was extremely thankful the bathroom was empty, he went into the stall furthest away from the door. He threw up everything he had eaten like countless other times, at that point he was just hoping no one would walk in. He cleaned himself up a bit and headed back towards Piper,

"Okay tell me. What happened?"

"What?"

"I know something happened, you're biting your nails and you looked sick before. Also you practically ran and you look nervous."

"Nothing happened."

"Nico don't lie, I know something happened. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Piper desperately wanted to know what had happened to the Hades boy but she knew when to stop pushing, she didn't want to charmspeak it out of him, that's purely invasive. He'll tell her when he's ready.

"Come on, I want to do something I'll regret in a week."

"Which is...?"

"I'm getting my ears pierced."

"Oh my Gods, yes. That is an amazing idea; if they say you look too young to do it without parents concent, I'll charmspeak them."

"Thanks McLean, didn't particularly like the plan of asking the God of the Underworld to come to a mall in New York." Nico was relieved Piper had either forgotten to continue interrogating him or was leaving the topic for now, he had been meaning to do this at some point either way and this seemed like a good occasion.

***

Piper had to do some charmspeaking, but finally Nico had gotten them done. He decided to get doubles since he was going to regret it anyway might as well go all out, he hadn't even flinched when it happened. After that they went to a few more stores and Piper finally convinced him to get something that wasn't black, instead a very dark blue.

"I would ask if you are actually allergic to bright colours except I've seen you in a bright red shirt so that clearly isn't the case."

"I just like black, is there a problem?"

"It makes you look like the Grim Reaper."

"I was hoping for that."

"You're hopeless di Angelo."

"Finally you're giving up, took you long enough."

"Nope, simply stating facts. If I can bring a metal dragon to life I can make you look less like a ghost without the use of charmspeaking." Turns out however that she could not, maybe some tasks really were impossible.

"I'll shadow travel us back, it's not that far."

"Nico, I would get killed by your loverboy if you did that. We'll just take the-"

"That is probably more dangerous if we're being perfectly honest, also shut up."

"Never. By the way not that many people died, it was-" but the daughter of Aphrodite didn't have time to finish. A wooden club hit her over the head, Nico cursed under his breath and pulled out the only weapon he had, a small pocket knife, he knew he couldn't do much against a fully grown cyclopes. He didn't know where it had come from but that wasn't important, the monster had probably found them because of his blood, children of the big three were the easiest to be tracked by monsters. He had skeletons but there is no way he could stab it with the celestial bronze blade, Piper had passed out and was bleeding on the floor. Meanwhile Nico was struggling to not get hit by the 15 foot cyclopes, he didn't know what everyone else had seen but they didn't pay much attention. He raised a few skeletons to try and keep it in place, he felt himself getting weaker. He knew he shouldn't be doing these things but he was fine for those years he was alone, he would survive now. Piper had lost a lot of blood, he didn't know how well this would go, he had some squares of ambrosia but couldn't get it to her without dying. There was nothing else he could do, he grabbed her wrist and shadow traveled back to camp, but still got hit with the club before he was gone. His head hurt and he tasted blood in his mouth, he collapsed as he showed up somewhere in front of cabin 13.

---

[imaginespazzi]

Long awaited, chapter 8! 

-"The older woman seems to possess some sort of magical power that weaves itself into Azzi’s nervous system, soothing away her frazzled nerves with an unspoken promise of and if you give me the chance I’ll make it all okay." "For the last eight years, Azzi has been her own protector and she’s learned to guard herself" Oof, the independence Azzi has built because she didn't give Paige the chance. I'm not okay.

-"Azzi hurriedly moves away first and she can see the betrayal of if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face." Well this reminds me to bring up something I'd noticed in chapter 7 but didn't end up mentioning. Ruthie: “what is love if it can’t be seen by everyone?” By this Ruthie means on Paige's face. You can see on her face how inlove she is. But it could very well make Paige think of Azzi not wanting to share their love to the public. And that always hurt Paige, clearly. But going back to the way Ruthie originally meant it then, really it doesn't mean Azzi loved her any less. It's in the look on her face when she thinks of Paige, it's in the way she subconciously pushes Paige-like things onto her daughter, it's in the way she can't get into another relationship, it's there. It's simply a matter of that agrument on to sides:

side 1: Just because I don't show it properly doesn't mean I don't love you.

side 2: Just because you love me doesn't mean I feel loved.

-Paige called back to say goodnight to Stephie. Another promise kept. I know a lot of anons expected Paige to leave that morning in chapter 7, but she didn't, and I feel like you're actually making her keep all her promises and though some may think this is building up to her eventually not keeping one, I actually don't think so. I think she's gonna keep every single one of her promises and though I do wonder what the problem/source of angst is going to be, since it's kinda still all fluff right now, even if there's a moment of separation, that just means Paige can't make new promises to Stephie, therefore can't break any either. And eventually they'll figure out the problem too, bringing her back to Stephie (if there is a moment of separation) and probably making her say something cheesy like "I promised you I'd try to stay". I'll touch on what I think about problems in a bit though.

-"Paige laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I wake up.”" That will hopefully be next to Azzi.

-"My wife is perfect. She loves me. She loves being seen with me. She loves being known as my wife. Everything I ever wanted from you, she’s willing to give me." I don't know if you've watched that Julia Roberts movie: My Best Friend's Wedding. If you haven't you can pretty much completely ignore this whole next bit cause it won't really make sense to you, but it's really giving me the same vibes. I also therefore really recommend it + it's a great movie. Anyways so, although Micheal ends up with Kimmy (his wife) I always thought that that was weird, and wrong. I felt bad for Kimmy really, just like I feel bad for Olivia. But the point is supposed to be that, though I feel bad for Kimmy, that doesn't mean I was rooting for her. I was rooting for her to go and live her own life and have a good one at that. But Micheal still loved Julianne, at least I thought that seemed clear. They made it seem like that wasn't the case and their last interaction is a simple "platonic" hug, though before he leans in he looks like he wants to kiss her. And the 3 of them have the exact same dynamic as Paige, Azzi and Olivia do here since, really Kimmy (Olivia) is simply what Micheal (Paige) settled for because he wanted to be loved publicly and Julianne (Azzi) wouldn't let him have that. But to me the moral was more that Micheal (Paige) wanted to be loved publicly BY JULIANNE (Azzi). I don't see his marriage realistically working out but whatever.

-"I know- I know your reasons but why- why couldn’t you have just loved me enough to look past them?" Ooohhh, yet another mention of Azzi's reasons, plural at that, but still you're not adressing themmmm! I neeeeed to know.

-"“I didn’t,” Azzi whispers, so soft she’s not sure Paige heard it" DID SHE HEAR IT???!! HEY DID SHE HEAR IT???!!!

-"“And some might say Edwards that being fashionably late is being on time,” Paige quips back." I love my huuugeee stretches and yes, believe me I'm aware this is about to be a stretch. But umm, what if this is mirroring their situation? Like Paige and Azzi's timing always seems to be off, but maybe that doesn't necessarily mean it's wrong, maybe being fashionably late is still on time.

-Ok so Clémence isn't a problem and honestly I didn't expect her to be. I genuinely have no idea what the problem will be. I feel like you have angst planned but, I don't see it fitting in now. Like maybe you're actually just gonna do pure fluff onwards, I doubt it. But the thing is I know a lot of people think the contract thingie with Liberty will pose a problem, idk but I just don't think so. In my head I don't see Azzi getting mad because legally it makes sense and shouldn't the team be aware to some point that Paige's contract is short? I mean if anything I thought it would sorta maybe possibly if you'd let it be perchance be a source of fluff. Like Paige just making it clear she's not leaving GSV, not leaving Azzi and Stephie. No matter how much the NYL offer. I can't even picture like a misunderstanding apart from from Stephie's POV. But Pazzi wise, if you plan on a couple more ups and downs consider me intrigued cause I have no clue what to expect really. Plus I still expect a Pookie reunion and they probably won't go see Drew together if they're fighting soo, with that being like chapter 9/10, the proposal 10/11, wedding 11/12, angst just doesn't fit in into my peaceful fluff schedule.

-"“baby you are the exception to all of my rules.”" Please break the sleepover rule, please break the sleepover rule.

Okk that's it thank you soo much and have nice holidays but ugh I want chapter 9 soo bad, I'll be patient though, it's all good. 

-🪐

-I'm so glad you caught that cause I definitely wanted to show Azzi's -in a way forced- independence where she's had to become her own protector without Paige

-YES! I was wondering if someone would bring up what Ruthie said last chapter and I'm glad you did because that's definitely a part of the conflict. And without giving anything away, I do have a conversation/argument planned where they're forced to confront their different viewpoints on the two sides of the coin your brought up

-I have seen My Best Friend's wedding but it's definitely been a bit but I agree, I always thought he was settling at the end. And the last scene is proof because it clearly wasn't all that platonic if he wanted to kiss her. But he found all his "perfects" in something else or at least he found what he wanted to see, which is exactly what Paige found with Olivia.

-Did she hear if? 👀

-See I did not think of that but it doesn't feel like a reach. Timing has been an issue but better late than never right?

-The team (Azzi) knows Paige's contract is short but the implication is that she'll likely renew because stars of Paige's calibre don't necessarily just go to a team for a year. It's like Stewie with the Libs where she was signed for year last year and then cored now. The deal with the Liberty in the fic is not public and something that's been negotiated off the books. How big of a conflict will that be? Guess we'll find out.

-LMAO well I do have a lot more planned then just proposal- wedding. Suffice to say we're headed for more than 12 chapters lmao.

-Ahahha another one for the let the gays fuck agenda huh?

[akiyamastar]

Hi guys, I am back on the Chiaki tag. Yes, I'm analyzing him again and sort of picking up on a point I mentioned in my last post.

I think there's an interesting divide in how Chiaki acts in front of the other Yumenosaki graduates versus the rest of Ryuseitai (yes, even Kanata). He has this serious, no-nonsense personality that he tends to conceal in front of Ryuseitai, because he needs to act like "Ryusei Red," but this other side leaks out more in front of the other graduates. You can see this clearly in stories where he isn't interacting with his unit.

Chiaki's more complex than people make him out to be, especially if they don't know a lot about Ryuseitai and think he's some dense hero. In reality, he's an extremely perceptive person. This is a given, considering one of the main roles that he imposes upon himself is to read the emotions of the people he cares about, so even if he comes across as brash and pushy, there's this indirect sense of "I need to look over them and make sure they're all okay." His pushy, energetic personality disguises how he discreetly tries to read into situations with startling accuracy, defending the people he loves most.

In fact, he was so perceptive that he refused to let anything bad happen to Ryuseitai anymore after the events of Comet Show, thwarting Gatekeeper's move to try to alarm Madara of the false information that Kanata had been enshrined as a god again during Submarine.

Moreover, I'm of the opinion that Chiaki knew that he didn't do the best thing by reclaiming the leader role, but at the same time, the reason why he did so makes more sense in the context of the situation; he is trying to make Ryuseitai last at all costs, and he won't let the corruption of the idol industry take them down. While Chiaki does have a problem with taking things on his own, something that gets on Tetora's nerves and leads to that growing tension depicted in the prologue of the Universe story when he punches him, Chiaki's intentions were very much calculated. Chiaki is constantly reading the situation and emotions of the people around him to make the next optimal move that can help others.

While in front of Ryuseitai, he feels the need to be this "beacon of light," as symbolic as the blazing red sun that is the essence of his role as Ryusei Red, this facade is something that he is only keeping up because it's his "idealization" of himself. It is what he had originally wanted to become in Meteor Impact, and now that he finally has the power to become a hero in others' eyes, Chiaki partakes in this "fake it until you make it" act where he acts like a competent hero in front of the rest of Ryuseitai. It is to the point that his unitmates may admire him, but don't see his true self, marked with hidden insecurities of never being the main character of his own story. It is something that I really wish was explored more when Chiaki mentioned to Tetora how he wasn't that cool senior he tried to make himself seem to be. (Tetora and Chiaki's dynamic is so important to me if you haven't noticed by now.)

Essentially, Chiaki's personality is outwardly boisterous and passionate, channeling out his love for heroes and tokusatsu, but inwardly, he is extremely critical of how he enjoys such things. He also may seem like an unrealistic fool who views everything through the lens of tokusatsu, but he's also too realistic for his own good. He just thinks he'll seem like "no fun" if he shows that in front of Ryuseitai, but he does show his seriousness more around the other graduates.

I think an optimal example of Chiaki's more serious side was displayed in Shu's gacha event story centered on the graduates (Astraea's Atelier), specifically with how Leo and Chiaki interacted there.

Leo is generally a very playful and often unpredictable person, and you might initially think that this would go hand-in-hand with Chiaki's energetic personality. This isn't entirely a false assumption; in Red Hot Island (the water park gacha story) the two of them got along like two peas in a pod with their enthusiasm for the trip. (Their dynamic also goes so hard, btw.)

Nonetheless, there is a key difference between the two that shows a lot about Chiaki's character: while Leo tends to cope with problems by becoming increasingly more unpredictable and erratic in his personality, or isolating himself when he can no longer do so, Chiaki tends to shrink back and start showing cracks of his serious self when encountered with something grave, putting a halt to the energetic act rather than dialing it up.

This is why Chiaki is more likely to become suddenly realistic and even slightly irritable if people aren't taking things seriously when it matters most, which you can see when Chiaki sometimes shows a bit of annoyance for Leo's antics when they go too far in Astraea's Atelier, since he thinks that Leo isn't taking the situation of a stranger invading Shu's place in France seriously enough. Which is something I kind of love considering I wish we saw that side of him more.

Here are some examples of their interactions by the way (all translated by @/nia_narqissa on Twitter):

I recommend reading the story in all honesty since in general it reflects the graduates' friendships and how they interact with each other (and it's really funny).

I find it really interesting that Chiaki actually does seem almost hostile to Leo at some points in the story, something that might seem strange at first, but makes a lot of sense if you consider the fact that this aspect of his personality has always been a part of him; you could even conclude that it's very likely that he just swallows emotions like anger, but feels them just as much as anyone would.

In the end, however, the two do understand each other and I'm honestly really glad that they're interacting more in recent gacha stories.

I do hope to see more !! stories like this one where we see more of Chiaki's serious side since I think it's really interesting, and maybe even more on showing himself more to the rest of Ryuseitai because he is just human in the end. I think those are all my daily Chiaki thoughts for today. (I am very normal.)

[simplydnp]

tw illness discussion

it's been a bit since we've done a late night illness update from char. it's not because i've been feeling better--no, no, i've been doing generally worse, really. i actually did write one of these a few weeks ago, but didn't post it because it was just. far too much. i process things by writing them out--and specifically 'out' not down. it allows thoughts and feelings to escape in ways very few things can. either way, that update was for me.

i want to be as realistic and reflective as possible in these, not only for you, the reader-- should you ever find yourself in a similar situation, i'll have at least done my best to be honest and real: illness sucks, mystery ones especially--but it's also an exercise i live my life doing: i don't see the purpose in lying to myself. this blog is a record of many of my unbridled, raw, hasty thoughts. who would i be if i only included the good ones? the main reason i'm even back here is because this illness forced my hand into making a good decision. a selfish decision. one that i literally agonized over for weeks because i thought that in order to truly be sick i must also be suffering. how dare i experience any joy during this time. that thought has mostly been quieted. one of the main reasons is that i get to spend every day here laughing with you all, and yet, i'm still in agonizing pain most of the time. they're not mutually exclusive. but i'm grateful for anything that's not pain--especially when it's something as special as this.

it seems this is a bit of a sappier update than usual. don't worry, we'll get there.

my medication isn't doing anything for me. we're over a month into this new one and the pain is so bad it's like i'm not even taking anything for it. it demands my attention. it must be felt. and my doctor doesn't know what to do. she was shocked when i told her, because this is thee go-to nerve pain medication. and i feel like i'm dying. it has done nothing. it's just my existence now. she suggested narcotics and i just can't. i can't do it. especially since the pain isn't 'real' in the sense that i don'thave a physical injury. so i'm scared of heavy pain medication, to be frank. we're trying a mood stabilizer and i don't think it's doing anything either. we're gonna try a muscle relaxant in the next few days. my hopes aren't high--it takes too much energy to put them up, only to have to tear them down a few days later and pretend like they aren't just in a heaping pile on the floor.

i've been going to therapy, as well. it's... something. i left one day feeling absolutely terrible. we just dug into something extremely sensitive that we really didnt have enough time to cover, and it left me in a tailspin for the next several hours and few days afterwards. i felt very. disconnected. from my body. and my mind felt,,, thick? this must be why they say aftercare is important--genuinely. i was lucky that i didnt have to do anything during that time. truly, truly awful. it hasn't been like that since, but i'm trying to figure out ways to cope if it does happen again.

so that's where we're at. i wish i had better news.

[cantsomeoneelsedoit]

Ch 46: See You in the Here and Now

"AND THEY WERE LOOPMATES!"

Captain Andy suggests that Fuuko try to go check out what happened in 1865, but Fuuko thinks it might be better to talk to Victor directly, so they tell him to come out of the time-out ball they'd finally restrained him with. And so he does!

And that's how Fuuko discovered a way to defeat Victor.

He has an easy solution to the problem, though-- Just imagine whatever clothes you want!

Does Victor prefer the Union uniform, or is it just the most comfortable and most familiar to him?

They're characters in a book, in a book. Of course they can just imagine whatever they want! I'm not sure if it's considered "reality bending" since they're not technically in reality right now, but manifesting desires and breaking down assumptions about what's possible is becoming a theme in many areas of the story.

Fuuko always tries to find the good in people. She doesn't write people off as "bad."

Please note that past!Victor used to wear shirts that actually fit.

Victor knows that the only way Fuuko could've seen something like that is if Apocalypse showed it to her, since it's the oldest Artifact. Victor and Juiz must've formed the Union so many times, but the only other witness would've been the book. Why does Victor consider that to be something Apocalypse shouldn't show? Why is he so damn secretive?!

The way he looks down at his Emblem like, "Ah, my foolish past in which I dared to believe in love and hope..." Beyond being Andy's shonen rival, he also fills the role of Disillusioned Former Hero Currently in Despair or a kind of antivillain that used to believe in the protagonist's cause.

He's a realist; Juiz is an idealist. But every now and then, we get these clues that he wasn't always a cynic.

Victor so rude! But imagine all of those things reversed and directed with heart bubbles toward Juiz, because that's what he's implying...

Fuuko and Victor, both members of the jacket-tied-around-the-waist club.

In the Round Table flashback, we can see Victor, Apocalypse, Juiz, Nico, Gina, and Void. We don't know much about Void yet, but Nico and Gina have both been said to be older than the other Union members. Andy mentioned the Union's "anti-aging" technology kind of jokingly in the fight with Gina, but it's probably an actual necessity.

The five Negators at this table may have been the five that Juiz and Victor could count on finding every Loop-- the core members of the Union who existed within a timespan where they were all recruitable. Keeping them alive while continuing to build the team would've been really important, and I assume Nico came up with the technology to do it.

Victor: "Reject Looping, Embrace Nihilism"

Giving up on trying to fight God is just like opting out of what you were assigned to do, Victor! Of all the souls in the world, he has Undead, plus Juiz, plus all of the knowledge from past Loops, and he's just going to give up?!

The line about dancing in the palm of God's hand reminds me of characters who won't do what the author asks of them. He's like a performer who refuses to perform! What broke Victor? What made the strongest character we've met just say, "I can't?"

YIKES, Victor! He wants to put her down like an animal?! Give her a euthanasia? That's not really up to you, Victor. She's pretty capable of deciding for herself if she wants to keep fighting or not, and your discomfort with it isn't her problem. Sorry, but Victor's line of thought really grates on my nerves. Who put him in charge of deciding when people have to be put out of their misery?

ANYWAY, the fact that Victor would even consider such a thing shows up just how disillusioned and cynical he's become. He's lived countless lifetimes and seen the entire planet destroyed and rebuilt over and over. He's lost more people than Andy and even Juiz have, and he's probably lived through the dinosaur days, the Black Plague, and a lot of other things that have made him the way he is.

What took Victor out of the game was his despair. Watching the person he loved suffer broke his heart. It's also what he thought would take Andy out of the game. In Ch 16, he asks:

In Victor's opinion, the worst thing he can imagine happening to Andy--the event that might break him forever and allow Victor to take over--would be Fuuko's death. That says a lot about how strongly he feels for Juiz.

And luckily, he's starting to feel a change of heart about his plan to kill her.

Fuuko can make customized Unluck now! It's not just meteors and lava over and over; it's specific to the target. And that means that she might be the key to defeating God.

OK, but how does one "research and figure out God?" You'd have to study the world they created to try to find what they fear, what they hate, what they ignore, etc. But what do you do with that information?

"I'll interfere no longer" FINALLY! He sees the light!

Fuuko better ask Juiz about 1865, because all of us need to know at this point. The way he says it doesn't matter anymore makes me think it was about his love for Juiz, and it doesn't matter anymore because he's already told them about it. But how does that tie into Abraham Lincoln??

Knowing that she can now customize her Unluck, he tells her to kiss Andy while thinking about what death would be to him.

And wow what a panel! Suitable for framing. Print it out and paste it all over town. Buy billboards for it. Send it to your mom. It's so good. I've been looking at it for like 10 minutes.

The blue, cloudy sky and the wasteland beneath. His finger on her chin. The way her hair moves. The way their shoulders look together. Victor all alone, going his own way. The way the "dead" part of Andy's tattoo kind of looks like a heart.

She had to kiss him to leave the book, because her leaving was the worst thing that could happen to him. If she were to die, he'd fall into despair. T.T

Andy tells us all not to cry:

I love how the world in the book is still a fiery wasteland and he's just like, "I'll be fine! Bye!"

Fuuko and Andy's powerups are going to bring them even closer to finding out how to kill God. But what's been going on in the real world while she had a sidequest? Under doesn't even know what they're going up against!

Masterpost

[shadowshrike]

Why I enjoy the yips arc

Disclaimer: This essay is exactly what it says on the tin. If you hate the yips arc or get upset when people don't love Sawamura from the beginning, you will likely want to skip over this post.

For me, the infamous 'yips arc' sold Sawamura. To be honest, I don't tend to like MCs in anime. Especially shonen anime. They don't resonate with my personal experiences regarding competition, failure, and growth.

When I started Daiya, I didn't appreciate the loud-mouthed "hard worker" zero-to-hero sunshine teenage MC that was dead set on causing me as much second-hand embarrassment as possible. I only continued my journey with the story for two reasons: the rest of the team was more grounded, and the plot tended to not reward Sawamura's early egotistical or out-of-touch behaviors with instant success.

It was only when I hit the yips arc that I wanted to root for Sawamura to the end from the bottom of my heart. He was no longer just comic relief or a guy who would suddenly obtain convenient new skills to make sure he stayed relevant in typical MC fashion. While he had the yips, Sawamura proved himself to be a true competitor capable of meaningful fear. One who doesn't steamroll everything when it really counts because he's a prodigy protagonist with a can-do attitude that everybody loves. Yes, Sawamura remained a hardworking prodigy of sorts throughout Daiya, but he more explicitly needed the help of his team and deep self-reflection to reach his potential and move forward during the yips.

Now, there are a lot of people in the fandom who hate the yips arc. I completely understand not wanting to see your favorite character suffer. Especially when 'tough love' communication styles don't feel like love to you. It's also unpleasant to watch many beloved characters struggle to cope after a loss, all while a new villain (at the time) is introduced in Ochiai. But for me, who was not a Sawamura enjoyer until after this arc, I appreciated it. It became a core thread in the tapestry of Seido's team coming together during the aftermath of a foundation-shattering defeat.

A bit about the yips

For those unfamiliar with the real-life condition, the yips are a notoriously difficult thing to treat. There is no cure, just things to try or avoid. Even the help of the best psychological experts at top levels of play can fail to salvage a professional's game after years of treatment.

Many high school athletes have had their careers ended before they began by the yips, forcing them out of their sport entirely. Others recover with minimal help or after a short slump. The scariest part is that you don't know which camp you're going to be in, recovery or permanent breakdown, and you can switch between them at any point.

Although the prognosis for someone who develops the yips is uncertain at best, I've gone through and seen friends go through stages similar to what's shown in Sawamura's journey. I'd argue Daiya touches on these as realistically as it tackles the other disappointing realities of playing a sport. That is to say - it mimics the real deal with a touch of dramatic flair.

Now, I'm no expert on the yips or sports psychology, but I've simplified the 'stages' of the condition I have experienced or witnessed to exemplify why this arc resonated so well with me.

Stage 1 - What's happening?

Failure following a high-stress moment makes the yips seem like normal performance anxiety. It may take a while to realize what's happened if it only appears in specific situations. You try to shake off the bad memory with your normal coping strategies.

Performance anxiety is a constant companion in competition. Nerves after a bad performance, in particular, are expected. Sometimes you luck out and recover immediately. Other times you have to go back to basics or shake things up to reset, especially if your nerves only hit during performance situations and not practice.

You may attempt to ignore it in hopes it will go away like normal. When your usual attempts to get back in the groove all fail is when panic sets in.

We see this most clearly when Sawamura starts falling apart for the first time while throwing inside. It's a story shown through Miyuki more than Sawamura, strangely, since Miyuki's many responsibilities include helping his pitchers regulate their emotions.

As a catcher, Miyuki has a wide bag of tricks to get pitchers going after a slump. Although his caustic tactics are infamous, that isn't the only way he treats them during a game, nor does he treat every pitcher the same, especially after this arc. With Sawamura, Miyuki's go-to is riling him up. Sawamura loves to rise to a challenge. He pitches his best when someone's pushing him or he has something to prove.

But when Sawamura fails repeatedly to respond in his normal way to his calls inside, Miyuki realizes this may not be some normal fluke of bad control. We see Miyuki's darkened expression before he decides what brave face he's going to put on to get Sawamura back on track. He tries other tactics - joking to take the tension out of the situation and redirect anger to him, and eventually trying to directly reassure Sawamura - both of which don't fix the situation and lead us into the next stage.

Stage 2 - I've got the yips, but don't pity me

You realize that the muscle memory is "gone". Something you used to be able to do without thinking about it now forces your brain to focus on every step. You struggle with failure, fear of not getting it back, and the sympathy of others.

When you're a highly competitive person in a competitive environment, being told that your sub-par performance is okay is an awful feeling. It feels like a person is sugarcoating the obvious truth to spare your feelings. What should be a gentle attempt to cheer you up from friends or teammates can become confirmation that they never believed in you in the first place, especially when you usually have a relationship based around friendly trash-talk.

In the worst cases, you may feel like they expected you to fail when you thought you could succeed. They pity you as the 'poor, broken player'. And the last thing you want to do when someone treats you inappropriately softly is validate that you need to be coddled.

This piggybacks off of the previous stage and can serve as a mental block throughout the entire treatment process. What stood out to me in the story was how we mostly saw yips through the other characters. Sawamura didn't really ask for help. In fact, he was unusually agreeable to everyone because he desperately wanted to prove that he could live up to their expectations without those expectations being lowered.

You may recall this is the same player who said, "their kindness hurts". Sawamura thrives in the high-drive teenage sports environment where friends talk shit to each other because they believe in one another. When that stops, it hurts.

Sawamura doesn't want sympathy. He doesn't want understanding or pity because he knows the way he played was indefensible. All he wants is to perform again.

Stage 3 - Step away

Take a break from the affected activity to reset the brain.

This is to avoid cementing unwanted mental patterns. As they say, practice makes permanent. The break may be self-imposed or made mandatory by an authority figure. If you're part of an active team, it can include a demotion or temporary removal. That status change is demoralizing but necessary after the nature of your condition is clear, not only for the success of the team but for you to have less pressure on you while you change tracks.

This is also typically when your mentors start developing a plan to help you recover, or when they adopt a 'wait and see' approach before intervening further.

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a sports psychologist at Seido. It isn't surprising, but it does mean we don't see that as a potential aid here. Instead, the treatment comes in a way many might consider 'old-fashioned' but is a reality for most people.

Taking an approach such as saying, "go run," without a full explanation of why the break might help or what the long-term treatment plan might be isn't something I'd personally recommend. However, it fits with what we've seen in the strictly hierarchical world of HS baseball at Seido. The coach very rarely or never explains himself to his players, and as readers, we often only find out what he's trying to do through analytical characters like Miyuki, who piece it together themselves.

This is also common, if not desirable according to some cultures, in competitive environments. The coach is in charge - you trust their judgment and assume there is a plan, whether or not you understand it.

This phase is also where we see Sawamura's other established teachers deciding what to do. Chris tells Kanemaru to wait and see, and that he thinks Sawamura will recover on his own.

Miyuki, on the other hand, waffles between not being able to spend time on Sawamura due to his own personal challenges as captain and responsibilities to his struggling team, and wanting to make sure Sawamura overcomes the yips. It's unclear if his motivation is due to guilt, friendship, practicality, or some combination of the three, but in the end, he decides he has to take a proactive approach.

Stage 4 - Everything and the kitchen sink

If the condition persists, try new approaches to replace the lost technique.

This might include learning a new skill so you don't have to do what the yips are affecting, moving to a totally different environment or league, trying a new position, or pursuing any number of therapies. Typically, the old technique is not being used at this point except to test progress. Sometimes this phase will allow a player to ignore their condition by cutting out the problem behavior entirely, thus letting them return to their previous position without recovering from the yips.

There are two main examples of this I can think of that we see during the yips arc. The most controversial is the advice by Ochiai to completely change Sawamura's delivery so he can remain useful to the team. Although this was quickly overturned because of the reason Ochiai suggested it - not actually to help Sawamura's recovery because he was already pitching again at that point but to make him 'useful' - a pitcher changing his delivery to overcome the yips is surprisingly not without historical precedent as an idea. Daniel Bard tried a huge number of things, including temporarily becoming a sidearm pitcher, to recover from the yips.

Ultimately, Miyuki, Chris, and Katoaka settle on the skill replacement idea by teaching him the out-low. It's unclear if the original idea came from Miyuki or Katoaka, though the implication is this was Miyuki's plan, and Chris agreed with it when approached, reversing his previous stance that Sawamura could recover on his own.

Regardless, all three seem hopeful that this new set of pitches can get Sawamura back in the lineup and help him recover mentally. Even with that hope in mind, they know he may or may not ever be able to pitch inside again. That isn't the point of teaching the out-low, though it would (and does) make him more dangerous if he can regain his original pitches. The point is to catalyze a return of Sawamura's confidence for his own sake and that of the team.

It also serves as a foundation for an important mental skill. Relaxing. As goofy as it looks, it works well for Sawamura and makes an enormous difference in his pitching.

Stage 5 (hopefully) - Oh hey, it's back!

With a lot of repetition, experimentation, and a healthy dose of luck, you spontaneously regain what you lost.

If you're one of the lucky ones, your mental block may disappear as suddenly and quickly as it appeared. Something 'clicks' and you're able to perform as you used to. The recovery isn't always permanent, unfortunately, and even if it is, you'll need to practice on your good days to make the consistency stick after so long away.

Ultimately, Sawamura is able to recover after persevering through several games. It was both a joy to see and unsurprising, considering the nature of the story. In Sawamura's case, he ends up stronger for having gone through the yips. Not only mentally, after having his often naively optimistic nature challenged, but physically with a wider pitching repertoire.

One thing I want to make clear before I finish

Although dealing with the yips does require incredible mental strength due to its frustrating and demoralizing nature, recovering or not recovering doesn't prove your superior or inferior character as a person. No person, technique, attitude, or therapy has been shown to reliably reverse the yips once they've occurred. All you can do is work hard, experiment, and hope it pays off. Thankfully for Sawamura, it did, and it allowed us to see him mature significantly as a person and a pitcher.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Why is Louis relationship to alcohol and drugs so blacklisted in this fandom? I find his public promotion of it questionable. I don't wanna assume too much either because I know we don't know him personally. But just considering what we get to see about him and his life during tour for example I feel like this whole topic is weirdly untouched and kind of ignored in our fandom. Just to make it clear what im referring to here: we know for a fact that he drinks on stage, before and after the show, broke his arm twice and implied it had to do with a drunk state of mind, we see him at a pub all the time. He says in interviews that he lives very unhealthy. In almost every picture of him he either drinks or smokes. And this is not me making things up in my head. Louis himself talks about how much he drinks and that he does it to calm his nerves before a gig. He doesn’t hide it at all. At jimmy Fallon he had a vodka bottle backstage, too. He has vodka Red Bull during his concerts, a fan once managed to get his half empty cup after the show from stage and confirmed it. We see his behavior and we see his appearance and how he’s changed in the past 5 to 6 years. The guy from the snuts said in an interview how impressed he was by Louis and his drinking habits and that he just wouldn’t stop taking shots in on tour. If you know just a little bit about the consequences of long term alcohol consumption it’s hard to oversee it at this point. Of course we lack information because we don’t know him but I do think it's reasonable to talk about it more and to be skeptical especially since his fans are really young and impressionable. I just wanna say, I think we should be more open and more skeptical toward things like that and question things more even if it goes against of what we think of Louis and what we love him for. I think that should be possible since we have no problem to endlessly discuss his sexuality and romantic relationships, either. I already kinda expect that you either gonna ignore this or just gonna tell me that nothing of this is reasonable to do as a fan. But I just wanna give my thoughts. I do think it’s a serious problem. I don’t worry as in I’m scared for him, I just find it weird that it gets either downplayed or entirely denied by his fans for the most part.

Oh anon - I don't really know where to start with this. Anyone who thinks Louis' fans don't discuss his alcohol use haven't been paying attention to my anons, who bring this up quite often.

I struggle to respond seriously to an anon that contains the idea'we see him at a pub all the time' as a reason for concern. Both because we don't. And because it shows a lack of curiosity of drinking cultures and the roles pub play in culture. Even if we saw in a pub multiple times every week I'd find your comment really, really odd.

But I'm going to try and answer. Even if I'm also, ultimately going to say exactly the things you expect me to say. But the question that I'm going to answer is - what would it mean for fans to have serious and realistic discussions of alcohol and drugs.

The first thing I'm going to say is thatimagining Louis' fans as young and vulnerable and therefore somehow at risk by the fact that he drinks alcohol is an entirely unserious framing. It needs to be dismissed out of hand. The idea that popstars or other celebrities need to either live a constrained life or hide part of their life to avoid being a bad influence is an incredibly reactionary one.

I think the starting point of any discussion has to be touring. The reason that there's a high level of drink and drugs among touring musicians - isn't because of some kind of intrinsic decadence of the industry. It's that touring has very specific stressors and a structure that allows people to maintain a functional life while dealing with those stressors with a lot of drugs and alcohol.

There are risks with dealing with the stress of tour drugs and alcohol, and people who use drugs and alcohol in all kinds of way can realise that what they are doing is making things worse. I think we can say with some confidence that Louis is dealing with the stress of tour with alcohol (and probably drugs). But being able to say that doesn't actually tell us what impact the alcohol and drugs are having on his life.

If you're in an industry where drugs and alcohol is a common way to deal with stress, then those who are at risk of addiction are much more likely to become addicted. But it's important to underline that addiction is a much bigger and harder thing than using alcohol and drugs to deal with stress. And one of the biggest predictors of addiction is trauma.

The new documentary on the BBC about Matt Willis from Busted really underlines that. He is an addict and he is very committed to staying sober. But as a band they all drank a lot - one of his bandmates tells a story about throwing up in Matt Willis's suitcase. That guy was like 'I didn't realise how dark things are were for you' and still has alcohol on his rider today. To an observer Matt Willis and his bandmate would have looked the same - but they weren't fucking their life up in the same way. You can't tell an addict from how much you see them drinking - the whole point of addiction is a combination of compulsion and shame.

What does understanding all this mean for how we think about drugs and alcohol and 1D members? The first thing we need to do is acknowledge how high risk they all are. Any study of boybands will show that it's a profession with a very high risk of addiction.

To take that risk seriously is to acknowledge that it's always a possibility. There's always a possibility that they're in active addiction. There's often a possibility that they're recovery - when people disappear they might be in rehab (and if that was true that's really great - because obviously when people go to rehab it's better than the alternative).

To take the risk seriously means not to talk about it in a 'ewwww gross drinking won't anyone think of the children'. But instead: 'Addiction is really hard to deal with, and trauma is a huge contributor. I hope that any 1D member dealing with addiction has what they need'.

To take the risk seriously is to acknowledge that to say something is a risk means to deal with uncertainty. We know that they're at risk. We may learn more (and I think we have at times), but in the meantime all we can do is sit with the knowledge of the risks of the industry for people like them.

[antiherotheantisocial]

babes why don't you think you'll ever be in a relationship? ur breaking my heart here reading ur tags

skip to the tags for the short answer lmaooooooo

breaking your heart? secretly in love with me??? 😧😶‍🌫️ but aaahhhhhhh 😮‍💨💕

i'm aromantic 😭😭😭 i'm not sure that i've ever felt romantic attraction, nor even know what it is, so it's a bit difficult to say otherwise and i just realized this year. 😔 i mean when i think about it most of the "crushes" i've had are mainly centered around sexual attraction/infatuation/lust or whatever you want to call it lmaooo....i care for the person, it just never dawns on me that i want anything with them in a romantic sense, i'm wayyy too nonchalant for that honestly and everyone deserves the best, which is most definitely not me lmaoo 😭 like i've never even thought about it because for me it's like.....i would only be in a relationship if i know for sure i could be committed to building a future with them for life, or honestly i would probably be down for a relationship if they wanted. like why not i guess which....is also a problem because then it gets considered as settling lmaooo which for me it most definitely is not..

the only thing that i might be inclined to say is slightly close to romantic attraction that i experience is limerence. but it's not like....from a place of love. 😭😭😭 now that i think of it it's probably like, having intrusive thoughts of a person. it's just all the time and as much as i try to stop i can't and it sucks because i do actually care about the person for who they are but obviously that makes it seem otherwise 😭😭😭

it's weird to explain. i do want a relationship and i do want to build a future with someone special where i could support their goals and they are able to be emotionally open with me but i don't have to be emotionally open with them and we can cuddle and watch shitty ass med shows with the worst fucking cpr but, i'm super picky and have extremely high standards lmaooo like is it really realistic.....girl........be real 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i get on my last goddamned NERVE

and then it's like, i already know that i'll be paranoid probably and most likely won't be satisfied because i'm not sure that anyone's love will be enough for me. (quote in my ul tag)

and at the end of the day (finally right? lmaoooo) it's like morally i don't want to play with or hurt anyone's feelings.

like all of this is mine alone to deal with and it's things that i should handle and work through before even considering a relationship but realistically i'm not sure that i can fast enough sooooooooo 😔

i'm sorry my tags probably come off as some edgy loser (which i am mind you ☝️😈) but don't feel bad don't let my tags break your heart omggg 😭😭🥺💖 i'm just some guy that's a son's son daughter. 😭😭 i keep myself in a loop of extreme self-criticism for minimal growth lmaoooo i'm okay (trust me 🫡).

maybe i shouldn't've said never but like....extremely unlikely. like...99% chance that i won't. love really isn't something that happens to people like me which is....ok! it's still a joy to see it happen for other people 😌💕🥰🤍💗💕

anyways fuck it we ball 🥱💯💪😈⏭️⏫🥶

[owlbloop]

Fallen Stars:

-Can't be that off prediction wise lol. Didn't exactly predict much about the episode

-IS CLAUDIA'S STAFF SUN SHAPED???

-VIREN! TACT!

-Terry already best boi

-New favorite mythic creature

-Callum just trying to shush him

-Me when I buy a new book

-We all do Ezra

-Hah! The veggie thing is actually kinda cute

-Random thought? Dragon rider Soren lol

-The animation definitely improved

-Terry looks so awkward lol

-Awwww. That looks ominous but he's adorable

-Watch Terry be a flat out necromancer. Interesting that Claudia likes the blooming life abilities so much

-thats actually pretty funny

-Truth. Wlw power couple for the win

-RIP

-...Does Terry get panic attacks ever? Does Claudia? Does Terry have a dramatic backstory?

-...Makes sense

-"But only the one time?"

-"Am I about to vandalize an ancient book?"

-Roll credits

-I see both sides

-Okay.. now I'm kinda getting vibes of old arguments against needing legal queer marriage

-i will never get fart humor

-RIPx2

-Honestly I respect Virens view

-im also respectful of Claudia not wanting to lose the only family she has left

-I'll admit this seems more for Claudia than Viren

-Definately a bit of a pun of Viren and Callum

-Okay. So my timing of prediction was slightly off

Breathtaking

-That eye roll… You know what. Fair. Callum did just get this chucked at him

-Okay. He may need to vent if he wants to get his emotions stable

-Great boundary acceptance Rayla

-I LOVE BOTH COUPLES SO MUCH

-Ominous but valid Terry. Definitely think, particularly with the cuddle monkey explanation just before, Terry got the backstory. Maybe it's why he cares so much about helping Claudia with her dad

-I do actually understand that

-Claudia may be autistic is all I'm saying

-This will be great

-It was great

-Wait… if Terry steals someone's breath trying to protect claudia

-Solid nat ten Callum

-Love the armor. I'm just imagining dragon prince as riders of pern

-Thats totally what I would do and will come back later

-NOOO DON'T SAY THAT

-That can break or bruise ribs alright

-Probably unpopular opinion.. if Terry kills Ibis here I won't blame him considering the other option is likely loosing Claudia to Ibis' hand

-If that makes you sick Claudia…

-Ill add a if he thinks he'll lose Claudia

-Neat snake form. Easy nerve damage spell

-Not helping Soren

-Fair enough ezra

-Yeah I'd panic if I was Claudia. A choke hold like that can cause serious permeant injury

-CLAUDIA!!! I MEAN I GET ITS KINDA SELF DEFENSE ON BOTH PEOPLES' PARTS BUT THATS A LITTLE MUCH

-Wow. That's a really good parrelel speech and scene. Both of them are trying to protect themselves and it just escalates so fast

-That might have been poisoned and either way is very close to an artery. Realistically she'd probably have throat bruising, bruised or broken ribs, both interfering with breathing, probable concussion, potential further fractures, would devolp solid bruises, alongside solid blood loss even if it hasn't hit anything major

-I am not a killer. I just risked potentially leathal injuries

-F*CK!!! IBIS IF TERRY KILLS YOU I WILL COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND IT!!! NOT THAT I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND YOU VIEW BUT WOW THIS IS BAD??? WANNA AT LEAST EXPLAIN WHATS SO BAD ABOUT THE STAFF??????

-.....I. the way Claudia doesn't even try to get away

-Terry realizing he just killed someone

-WOW REALLY AIMING FOR THE PAIN AREN'T YOU

-TERRY AND CLAUDIA LEFT HIS STAFF??? THAT MAKES SENSE IF THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT EACH OTHER BUT NOW THIS FEELS EVEN WORSE AND THEY CERTAINLY DIDN'T WANT HIM DEAD AND JUST AHHHHHHHHHH

-AWW

-Welp

-I called the angst and literal darkness of the title, more or less the Raylum reunion, and the breath casting, but I'll admit I didn't get expect this situation

What Terry did was drastic but I don't really think he had more than two choices

There was so little time

Either he had to do something big enough to completely stop Ibis from casting the spell, or he'd watch his girlfriend get electrocuted to death. That's gotta be traumatizing.

Callum's reactions to Rayla returning really do feel natural

Claudia's reaction really does seem both real and odd at the same time. She doesn't freeze or flee or fawn or fight, she just surrenders, accepting nobody is going to be there to stop Ibis, barely flinching at the idea of dying via lighting

I wish Ibis didn't die though

Ezra's speech held so much nuance that I so rarely see in conversation. People deserve to be angry, they're going to feel hurt, you can't just move past something without aknowleging it, and even in the fight.. Claudia is fighting for her dad, Ibis is fighting for his work and home, Terry is fighting to protect his loved one, all of them are fighting out of love more than anger, and maybe if they were angrier or more open, fought verbally, maybe Ibis would be alive and Claudia less hurt. Maybe. But we can't know and nobody really wanted to hurt anyone. Also Ezra deserved his trauma getting acknowledged

If the flower comes back later imma cackle. Also, as ridiculous as the petichor thing is I feel like I'm missing some aspect of intentionality in Claudia liking the rain so much

[bright-eyes-hope]

Great. Not only did I (forgive the pun) stake everything on one card and lost, I did so in front of an audience.

The one audience who's memories I can't erase.

This guy is starting to get on my nerves.

"But ... I don't understand. What went wrong? Has he ... is he on Vervain?"

"No." The gods know how much I hate how broken my voice sounds. How my face must look. How I'm shaking.

If I've ever felt so ashamed before it must have been in my life because I can't recall.

I should rip his throat out for seeing me like this but he's older than me. And I've not quite gotten to that point yet. I'm not that melodramatic. Not quite.

"So you finally caved in and used your powers. Yet he's still in there partying and your out here crying. What did you say to him? How come it didn't work?"

"Why do you even care so much? Get a ... an existence, is it really that entertaining to stalk me and wait for opportunities to twist the knife?"

"I make no secret of my curiosity plus if it's something that prevents mind control, I should know about it too since I'm not planning to leave again soon. So spill it."

Satan, why do I bother? But as depressing as is is, realistically I don't have anyone else to talk to.

Almost no air passes through my throat as I finally answer, making my voice so silent, I almost can't hear it myself. But I know he will.

"It did work. I ... I told him ... to be honest."

Does this sound he makes express compassion? Amusement? It's really the same to me. I regret sharing this. It didn't help.

"Damm girl! You make falling for the wrong guys into an art form. Has it been as bad back when you were human?"

"You have no idea."

He says something back again, probably a follow-up question but like last time I disappear into the shadows.

After all, it's a myth that Vampires can't cry. It happens so seldom and even more rarely can those who witnessed tell the story afterwards.

But in case you wondered. We do cry. Tears of blood.

[adiexz]

LOVE AND LOSS

Theme: Love and Loss

Length: One Act Play

Mode: Realistic

Medium: Television

Setting: Rancho de Cabileo Colosboa Hills

Characters: Adie, Raiza, Bianca

What will be your name in the play: Adie

What will you be like?: The one who put love and efforts to Raiza and the who is patience but yet feel suffer because of obsession of Raiza.

What will you be like?: I will be the one who will find freedom, the love that I deserved and understand me.

Who else can be part on your dream role?: Bianca

What will she be like?: Bianca will be the one who accept and understand Adie in his life but not ready to love Adie.

Narration:

Once upon a time, there are some couples named Adie and Rai. They are happy together when they hangout and they are always together like every second, they must be together at all cost. Adie put so much effort to Raiza that he shouted to all world that the he loves is only Raiza. In they loving together, they are always fighting too. Rai is so jealous when Adie got attention to his friends. Adie is so friendly because he socialize to all in their campus. Rai is also jealous when they are plenty of women sorrounded by Adie but Adie knows his boundaries, he assure that the one who see in his eyes is only Raiza but Raiza's attitude is different.  Even though Adie explained, Raiza kept talking and talking. Adie feels that all he do is wrong to Raiza. When they go outside, they went to Rancho de Cabileo to have roadtrip but they saw Bianca along the way. Bianca and Adie are have some memories together because they loved each other before. Adie cleared in his mind that he doesnt like Bianca anymore and he explained it to Raiza. Raiza gets mad and she didnt talk to Adie. When they arrived, she is cold and have no energy. In one moment, she ask a random question to Adie.

Dialogue

Scene 1 (The Question)

Raiza: Hey just a quick question, if you ever got a chance to take risk to Bianca before, will you do it?

Adie is so confused on wat Raiza said but Adie said the truth and explained it.

Adie: I will not lie to you, Yes I will take the risk to Bianca in the past but she rejected me okay? Me and Bianca are over and I dont like her. You are the one that I love.

Adie thought that Raiza will believe on what he said, but she didnt. Her nerves is so angry and got mad to Adie again.

Raiza: Oh so you really take the risk huh?! You are unbelievable Adie, You should love her than me, you have so many memories right?!

Adie:  How many times I'm gonna tell you that I am over to Bianca, I don't have feelings to her anymore I promise. I completely forget her and I will never approach her. Please believe on me.

Raiza: How can I trust you?  You are so disgrace to me Adie. How can you said that to me right now. You know that you have some memories with Bianca and you will said that you will take the risk to her?!

Adie:  You don't trust me right now? I always choose you Raiza in all times. I love you more than myself. We are completely over and things will not be back.

Raiza: I dont want to hear on what you said, I will not trust you anymore. Things will never be the same on what after you said.

Adie: What is your problem? Why dont you listen to me Raiza? Here we go again, we must enjoy the day today. Let's go there in the top of the hills, Let's eat first.

Scene 2 (Arguing)

Raiza and Adie is still not okay, they are not communicating. Adie uses his cellphone and Raiza got mad again because he is using cellphone.

Raiza: You know that we are together but you are using your cellphone. Are you dumb? You making me sick Adie my goodness!

Adie: What else can I do? You didnt talk to me because of Bianca. You are so complicated, all I do is wrong and you are always angry to me. What should I do to you?

Raiza: I'm so freaking bad Adie,  I cannot control myself right now. I am so dissapointed to you.

Adie: So,  what do you want to happen now?  I don't know what to do to you Raiza.

Are you having second thoughts on me? Do you think that I not love you?

Raiza: Hell yes, After you said earlier, I don't think that you love me. I hope you just go with her.

Adie is so angry inside but he remain to be patient. Adie never got angry to anyone especially to Raiza but she cross the line. Adie is so low confident on himself. She cannot handle the attitude of Raiza.

Adie:  Hold on a second, After all I do to you, how can you say things like that. You know what, fine, I dont want to be angry with you. Let's talk in a proper and let's be patient please I'm begging.

Raiza did not listen to Adie. She is like a thunderstorm to get angry. Her words are no limit and Adie is hurt.

Raiza: You are so stupid Adie, I'm not gonna tolerate you. I'm not gonna talk to you in a proper way.

Scene 3 (The Break up)

Adie got so mad and he cant control himself anymore. He say a words that he not completely saying in the past.

Adie: I'm starting to get consumed by anger because of you. I don't like what you're saying to me. If you did not trust and believe in me, we should break up. All I do is wrong and you are always angry. We should not see each other.

Raiza is speechless on what Adie said. She immediately gets emotional and say sorry to Adie.

Raiza: I'm sorry on what I said to you. I'm just angry to you because on what you did and what I did is not intenional to hurt you. I am truly sorry Adie.

Adie didnt listen to Raiza on what she did to him. He dont feel anything on Raiza because on what happened and what he say. His decision is final and will never be change.

Adie: My decision is final, I can't handle you and never listen to me. It is better to break up with you so you won't get mad at me anymore.

Raiza: Please I begging you don't break up with me, I'm so sorry on what I have done to you. I promise I will be better.

Adie is still did not listen to Raiza and he break up patiently because he dont want to shout and to get anrgry to Raiza.

Adie: I cannot do this anymore Raiza. We are hurting each other. I'm sorry Raiza. I just want to do what I want in my life. I can't hangout to my friends because I always choose you. I just want choose my self right now.

       : If I know this going to happen, I'd rather choose Bianca over you. You know that I love you but you're too much hurting me Raiza. Bianca is the one who understand me but we suddenly separate. I'm so sorry Raiza, take care of yourself

Raiza cried and she didnt believe what Adie said to her. She didnt know how much she hurt the feelings of Adie. Raiza walkout and leave Adie.

Scene 4 (The Freedom)

When Raiza leave, Adie is seemingly okay. He sit in the bench and take a deep breath.

Adie: (Adie take a deep breath)

           At least I say my side to her. I will be okay in the mean time. At least I will whenever I want and I have freedom!

When he is sitting, Shockingly, Bianca is there too when they are breaking up. She hears on what they are talking about. She also heard what Adie said that he wished, He was the only one she chose. When he saw Adie, she went and talk to him.

Bianca: Hey! Are you alright?

Adie is so speechless when he saw Bianca. It's like the first day when he in love with her. Bianca sit with Adie and they talk just like the old times. They are talking under the sun in the hills. Adie become okay when Bianca talked to him. Bianca opens up too that she heard the conversation of Raiza.

Bianca: Is that true what you said earlier from Raiza? You will choose me?

Adie: You are the who understand me Bianca. I dont know how I go with Raiza. Even though I explaining at her, she never listens to me. She is always angry with me so I decided to break up with her. She's even complaining about my friend either.

Bianca: Back before, what did I used to usually say to you? I always undestand you Adie. I always care for you even though we have some bad memories, I'm always here for you.

Adie: (Adie hold the hands of Bianca) Thank you for always Bianca. I appreciate you always. Thank you for being my side right now.

Adie is fine and as well as Bianca. They undertand each other and I'd rather they are happy in each other. 

(The End)

[butterfliesornauseous]

Acknowledging that someone doesn't feel good is nice but acknowledging that it's specifically the character's stomach that doesn’t feel good >

part 2

Okay onto the dialogue prompts

(As always not realistic these just neat to me, feel free to use/change wording ect)

(Also I meant to go in a different direction but half the list got deleted and I had to redo it.)

A

"You're stomach isn't feeling well is it?"

"It must be really churning."

"I know your tummy doesn't respond well to nerves but...."

"Your poor tummy really isn't feeling great is it?"

"Sorry your belly isn't doing good."

"I know you stomach is in knots but you should try eat/drink something."

"Is your stomach still churning?"

"I don't think your stomach is handling the news all too well."

(Best with context of character having frequent tummy issues/sensitive stomach ect) "Your stomach is never a bother for me."

“You should change into something loose to keep the pressure off your belly.”

“I think I know why your stomach is gurgling so much, the sauce from dinner had (insert ingredient) in it.”

“If the smell of my perfume is bothering your stomach too much I can change.”

“What did you eat to upset it so bad?”

“You know I’ve heard that cuddles are the best cure for a turning tummy.”

“What’s troubling your belly so much?”

“I didn’t think that (insert food/smell/news/who knows) would make your stomach have such a bad reaction.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner about your belly feeling so sick?”

“Are you sure you just have butterflies in your tum and not something worse?”

“Maybe your stomach would feel better if it was churning more than just stomach acid around.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know that (insert food) would hurt your tummy so badly.”

“Does your tummy always get this knotted frequently?”

“It’s no surprise you need to throw up, stress/nerves always goes to your stomach.”

“Anyone’s stomach would feel icky after (insert what ever) don’t feel bad about it.”

“I don’t mind looking after you or your poor belly.”

“I don’t think even medicine can help your stomach, it would be better be sick and get it over with” (better if they don’t feel better after being sick)

”holding it in will just make your belly feel worse.”

(While placing hand on sickie's stomach)

B

“Feels like something really bad is going on in here."

“Even I can feel how upset your tummy is."

“I think I just felt your whole stomach flip."

“Your tummy feels really gurgly, I honestly think you will throw up soon.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt a belly so sick before.”

“Did your stomach just flutter?”

“Dinner is definitely not sitting to well in there.”

“You’re not overreacting, it’s definitely churning.”

“You sure you aren’t going to puke, I can feel a lot of movement.”

“I can feel your heartbeat in your stomach, that’s definitely not a good sign.”

”Woah stomachs should not gurgle like that.”

[popsicle-parfait]

❗WARNING❗: This is a rant post, you are not obligated to read this but just know that if you do I am not responsible for the feelings you get from it.

Okay, so can we just take a moment to talk about fanfics and their character/ oc development? Today I looked at a fanfic and I saw an oc character sheet, yknow the normal stuff you see when you start reading someone's story. Now this this what ticked me off, it said in the abilities section of the bio "Able to control air and oxygen and any water around him. " now if that wasn't bad enough in the weakness portion of the chapter it said "There's not really a weakness to their abilities". I don't know about you but your dear old pal here HATES overpowered characters with a ridiculous stat ratio. Now this is where the rant starts so excuse anything offensive I say because I'm mad as hell. EXCUSE ME? I'm sorry but if your damn character has the abilities of a whole god and their drawback is a HEADACHE then your oc is just bad. No I'm not kidding, I'm 100% certain on what I'm saying and listen to me when I tell you this, your oc has to have character development and having an op ability set just takes away the whole purpose of that and leaves no room for anything interesting to happen in your fanfic. Have you ever thought of why you lost motivation if your fanfic? Or maybe it hasn't gotten the spice you want in it? IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOUR OC HAS A TRASHY PERSONALITY WITH THE LEG ROOM OF A DAMN OCTOPUS. I'm not gonna sit here and read your story when your oc is all like "Everything is so boring, everyone is so stupid for not seeing that attack coming. You guys are so annoying and I'm better than y'all. I'm just not gonna say anything or contribute to the plot because I know everything already 😩" FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT🤡 I wanna cry so bad because I just can't believe these people really looked at their oc, approved it, then had the nerve to say "He's rude but is really kind" I'M SORRY? Kind???! W H E R E??? PLEASE I BEG OF Y'ALL BALANCE YOUR OCS OUT!!

Okay but seriously if you want some advice here's what's I actually recommend for this type of stuff:

Take a moment and stop what you're writing. I know you have a lot of ideas of what you want in your story but just stop worrying about the plot and think about the oc's your inserting there.

Study your character, think about anime references or other anime characters you want to base your oc off of and get inspiration from that

Next I would recommend to really think about what type of person you want your oc to be and think to yourself "what would I do (or how would I react, ) if I came across this type of person irl?" because to you this character might seem cool but if you look at it at a realistic standpoint they're probably a really horrible/ toxic person.

When you think about your oc's backstory I want you to think about your fandoms universe. What are the basic things that apply to this fandom? What is okay and reasonable enough to fit in this fandom? How would this tie into your fandoms lore? (this also really important because if your fandom is about a highschool anime and your oc is "the demon lord from hell" it wouldn't fit and it just disregards the structure of the anime.) I really want y'all the do some research on the fandom you're inserting your oc into, don't just go in blind.

Another thing would your oc's appearance, face claims are okay. I'm fine with that. But if you don't use face claims and your description of your oc is "black hair, yellow (left) and blue (right) eyes, scars everywhere, bandages everywhere" I'm going to assume your oc is an emo wannabe with an attention problem. Sorry not sorry, hehe~ 😜

Oh, another thing I want y'all to take into consideration is your oc's abilities. I really want you guys to know that it is okay if your oc is "normal". You don't have to give them the backstory of a broken king, you don't have to give them trauma and you don't have to make them "special". Your character is the mc for being themselves, they don't need all of that fancy stuff because even if they're bland they stand out against the original protagonist of the anime. You don't have to make them super edgy or super important because there's a thing called character development. The abilities your oc has (in my opinion at least) must start small. Then as the story continues and as the oc makes more important relationships between themselves and the people around them it gives them time to think about certain things in a new light and that pushes them to want to work hard. (1)

Let's say I have an oc named Oscar or something and they're an insert to the anime My Hero Academia. By me giving them the ability to see the future (please don't take any ideas from this istg) it also means they see the USJ attack and if they predict that very important plot point and inform the main characters about it that basically means that attack wouldn't happen the way it does in the anime. Now there are a lot of factors to be considered in this such as, lida doesn't run to get the pro heroes, All Might doesn't save class 1-A, and Izuku doesn't get the determination he gets to work more on OFA because he doesn't have to worry about All Might being pushed to his limit as severally as he does in canon. Please, I advise you to think about these things. (2)

Thank you for taking your time to read my whole post and let's hope I don't lose followers for this, these types of things need to be thought about and I feel like no one actually takes their time to and just throws whatever character they can come up with in a story. Um... Have a cool pic I guess...

[twst-drabbles]

some fun twst questions for u <3

[i'm sending these to random ppl, feel free to answer if you see this and/or tag/send it to another person!]

would you be a mer, a beastman, a fae, or a human? (or other!)

would you be at rsa or nrc?

what dorm would you belong to?

what character(s) would you be best friends with?

what character(s) would you hate?

what character(s) would you date?

what would floyd’s nickname be for you?

and rook’s?

what twst character(s) are you most like? (personality-wise)

which subject(s) do you think you would excel at?

what club would you join?

how do you think you would survive in twisted wonderland/what would your life be like in general?

[optional!] what would your unique magic be?

Huh, certainly wasn't expecting this. Putting this under the cut cause I ramble.

would you be a mer, a beastman, a fae, or a human? (or other!)

Honestly, I would rather be a human. Sure, it's fun to imagine the reader as something else entirely, but when we're talking about myself, then I'd much rather be born a human. There's something nice about being able to show a beastman, fae or merpeeps up while also being a simple human. There's this implication among the three species where they see themselves as better than humans, so I'd much rather be a human that can beat them in certain things just to humble them.

would you be at rsa or nrc?

Hmmm, honestly, RSA, but I would imagine circumstances would happen where I end up being chosen by the Dark Mirror despite wanting to be at RSA. That, and it would make for a funnier story. Cause, knowing me, I will grit my teeth and tolerate this situation because it's not as if I'm going to an inferior college. I'm just in a college who's Great Seven I have no admiration for. (And who keeps losing to RSA like the losers they are why the FUCK am I here!)

what dorm would you belong to?

Ah, preference wise, I would want to be Ignihyde, but it has come to my attention that I would probably suit Pomefiore of all dorms. Sure sure, I know quite a bit of coding and I do have a high interest in seeing the marriage of technology and magic, but ultimately all my efforts are always focused on enhancing my creative arts. Doesn't help that I have a fuck ton of pride and have no insecurities about my appearance. I'm perfectly at peace with how I look and am content to lay about while building my abilities to write and sing at my own pace. I'm also an literature nut which seems suiting for Pomefiore. I would imagine I'd have the ability to get on Vil's nerves because of how I refuse to follow anyone else's pace but my own.

what character(s) would you be best friends with?

Hmmm realistically wise, I'd probably be best friends with Epel. We both have some restrained anger that needs to be let out, and we both don't come from an affluent background so there's some common ground to explore there. Out of place peeps must stick together. That and a part of me thinks that Epel would not be able to leave me alone when he sees how bad my food habits are(I skip breakfast a lot), so he'd probably share what snacks he manages to get. It be the kind of friendship where we'd rib at each other, cussing at each other without actually hurting one another. I would probably pull from my singing experience and give Epel some pointers when he needs the help. Another part of me wants to say I'd be friends with Leona, but I know what would happen is that we just happen to be in the same space, chilling for hours, not saying anything cause we're too stubborn to move. We'd never talk, we'd never even get each others names, just a weird silent contract to not bother one another while we chill more than 5 feet apart.

what character(s) would you hate?

...Sebek. I'm sorry, the minute he refers to me as "human" in that derogatory tone of his, he is not worth my time. I'd ignore his existence or look at him with disdain. I will never acknowledge him as superior and until he apologizes for all that we will never be friends. Hell, if he insists on bothering me, I'd ruin his poor ears with my cussing language.

what character(s) would you date?

None of them, since I am aroace. Never had a crush, but It's not as if I'm opposed to dating, it's just I never feel the urge for more or to change the regular status quo. So, in that vein, never expect me to have a preference for who I want to date or be the one to ask people out. I just don't get that urge. However if asked who I would be in a queerplatonic relationship with, the person with the highest chances of that would be Epel. Or, shockingly, Vil. I feel there will come a time where Vil and I come to an understanding since, to a certain extent, we do hold ourselves to a high standard that almost ruins us. But also because I'm a person that has no interest in celebrity culture with a forever chill aura, Vil would eventually adopt some of those habits.

what would floyd’s nickname be for you?

Mmmm honestly, I would think Floyd would call me Cobia, since those fishes are usually pretty good alone, but can be seen tagging behind other predators. And as that would imply, I do have moments where I just want to be by myself, tuning out the world with my earbuds, but the minute I make friends with a big scary bud, you will see me tagging along with them, when I do see them that is. Remora would be another good candidate for a nickname but I don't tend to stick to people like glue so that's out the window. I don't exactly stand out so I'm fine being by myself.

and rook’s?

Knowing Rook, he would catch me singing while I was in my room. I'm not exactly quiet, and with my preference for choral, opera, and other songs with high and low notes, he'd probably call me Monsieur Chanteur and would proceed to bother me to sing more with an audience to watch. Nope buddy, not happening.

what twst character(s) are you most like? (personality-wise)

I would have to say Leona, though I take my grades pretty seriously, even though I will leave studying to the last minute cause I want nothing more than to continue sleeping. Along with the whole thing about people remarking about how we're wasting out potential because we're not working 24/7. Though, I am remarkably easier to get along with since I do try to make a good first impression when I can. But yeah, we're very much the "my pace" kind of people.

which subject(s) do you think you would excel at?

Anything having to do with literature analysis. English has always been my best subject. History would probably be my worst subject, though it would still be passing, around the high 80%. I can't stand failing grades.

what club would you join?

None. I kid I kid, in order to get teachers off my back, I'd probably join the writing club, if there is one. If not, then I'd probably join the choir club, as that's familiar as well. If both clubs exist, I would imagine I would end up joining both at Rook's or Vil's insistence. I only give in because I genuinely like singing so I don't see it as extra work.

how do you think you would survive in twisted wonderland/what would your life be like in general?

Really depends if I have magic or not. If not, I would constantly be covered in bruises cause some dumb fucks decided I make for an easy target, if I have magic, then I'd be another unremarkable note in NRC's history. If, only a bit disappointing because I didn't want to invest in a magic career, just wanted to be a writer. I know it sounds arrogant but I would probably be born with a whole lot of magic potential, so there would be this expectation that I should be in a field that uses it, but then I turned around and decided to invest in my writing skills instead. So while people aren't saying they're disappointed in me choosing this path, you can feel the disappointment for not realizing that potential. I was always treated as the golden child after all, so I know what's that like.

[optional!] what would your unique magic be?

It would probably be another case where I have discovered my unique magic early. It'd probably be a unique magic where I can make an environment or character appear off the pages I just wrote and manipulate them at will. Probably call it "Words Off The Page." Though anytime I use it, the page or sentences I used will be destroyed, including copies. Which would deter me from using it at all.

[quieteclipse]

you know, at first, i was unsure if i wanted to continue Kill the Villainess because—as valid as mc!eris is for hating the world she was born into and wanting to go back home—i personally have a love/hate relationship with "cold/expresionless" MCs because the lack of engagment they have with their world and the people around them can result in a lack of engagement from me as a reader ngl.

like i know in these stories, it's usually MC getting isekai'd as someone who was formerly mistreated, so of course they're gonna be resentful of the people around them. but i'd like it if these character could at least have a personality, you know. like i love when the MCs of these series either outwardly get mad at the people that have wronged "them" (the character they'd reincarnated as) or at least they know how to pop off at the mouth.

mc!eris has always been riding that thin line for me. like she doesn't go as hard as i want her to sometimes, but also she's definitely not a pushover. i kinda hate(d) her unchanging facial expressions, though.

but regardless, the story has gotten more interesting to me in recent chapters.

i really like seeing mc!eris' slow but sure attachment to anakin and their soft moments, even if it's hard for her to really enjoy them because of the reality of the situation (which is her being his master and the "law of fate" or whatever tf it was they were talking about).

also, i'm so desperate for her to get her revenge and go home. i feel bad for helena, because i think i read somewhere that she doesn't want to be wrapped up with the prince either, but i still get so annoyed by her because of how she's treated and the fact that she doesn't speak up for eris.

even if she can't speak up in front of the prince or whoever else apart of the imperial family, i feel like she should've at least spent some time trying to connect and be truthful with eris when they were alone together....but maybe i'm being too presumptuous of how "free to act" she really is. i don't read the novels nor have i seen any spoilers recently, so idrk how the universe works for them.

anyways, sir qajar and the prince are getting on my nerves. like usually in these kinds of series, i'd be doing a little teehee when the former potential love interests started to show interest in the MC, but these two are annoying as all fuck. i'm so glad mc!eris told sir qajar off already. i want her to do the same for the prince so bad.

i know he's apart of the imperial family and feels like he's so entitled to everything he wants, but what the fuck is his deal with eris now? like yall clearly dont like each other now–and you never liked her in the first place–plus, people clearly love helena despite her being a commoner, so why tf are you so pressed about eris trying to set distance between yall? i mean, i know why, but it's still annoying.

i hate that mc!eris' good ending is inevitably dying, because i want her to shove her happiness with anakin in their faces so bad, even though that's also not realistic.

ugh this is why i have such a love-hate relationship with these more realistic series. like it's interesting for plot reasons and character development, but i want carnage and revenge romance.