#don't worry they;re both EXTREMELY responsible

[worrysomegus]

hey what if I gave them weapons

[toxicanonymity]

raider analysis

Warnings: angst, references to violence, captivity, references to past assault/abuse, warnings from the related posts this is analyzing.

A/N: this is about the hypothetical from today, plus some about the 🐶 (goes into Hunger). Keep in mind I share these because some people enjoy it, not because i want you to read it like AP Lit, lol. 🫣

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Ok, the kinda tearjerking exchange (not my favorite kind of jerking, but it happened, sorry) starts off

“‘Member what I said after ya ran?” You nod. “that you only want me if I'm good?” A tear runs down your cheek.

I have to admit I'm sad for both of you in this moment. You especially, sweet pea. But also, Joel regrets how he treated you in the aftermath of your escape, and he can't undo it. He's mostly thought about the physical part of it (glimpse of this in the yoga drabble). Now hearing you paraphrase his words, he's faced with the fact that it's even worse than he's been beating himself up over (deservedly, tbf). 

As far as you running away, the main thing that reassured Joel was how you said it wasn't about him, it was the other guys, to which he said you gotta talk to him when something's bothering you. So in his eyes that was his main point. But before he calmed down enough to express that, he was angry and it made a real impression on you. Your main takeaway was that his interest in you (and your safety) was conditional.  You don't think about it a lot these days, and in the big picture it's outweighed by his extreme possessiveness, but it's a thread of insecurity and the first thing that comes to mind when he asks if you remember what he said.

For Joel, there's a whole other conversation happening here (with himself) under the surface.

In this convo when Joel says “that was real bad,” it all was, including what he did in response.  When he asks “we’re past that, right?” he means all of it. He wishes that day would just go away. It's also kind of an empty hope related to what he's done to you. He doesn't think he deserves forgiveness or love, but at this point he also doesn't want you to live in fear of him or only stay for that reason. 

You answer as if he just wants to know you wont run away again, and that's still nice to hear. He latches onto that answer as a momentary "out" from feeling the weight of what he's done, reminding himself what's supposed to really matter to him–that you're "his"--like your answer assumed he was thinking.

—--

Also, a word about the dog. Not everything with the dog is profound. I like doggos and think they should have one. But, the initial interaction/freeing him from the collar is meaningful if you consider who else has been chained in this story (but not lately).  And there's more parallels you can draw if you want to, but I also support just enjoying the little guy.

In the same chapter, it's the first time we see Joel take you out with him as a capable person (armed). Then he even lets you go into the forest alone. The reason he ultimately goes in after you is because he's worried about you. In general, Joel wants to keep you for his own sake but is also scared of what could happen to you on your own (he's almost seen it). You're legitimately worried about the dog’s well-being and think he needs you, but you also just want him around.

Joel despises the addict and the way he treated his own dog. Joel hates himself, too. His thoughts coming out of the forest reveal he’s coming for the junkie as a stand-in and what he really wants is to hurt everyone who ever hurt you. He knows he's one of those people. I'm not saying he wants to hurt himself but some of the aggression he takes out on other men (when a simple bullet would suffice) is from his own self hatred. Normally these men have something in common with him. 

Joel initially rejects the dog, not wanting another someone to take care of distracting him from protecting you. But later the dog demonstrates he's more than meets the eye and has a lot to offer and for good reason Joel seems to come around, even if he won't say it. Despite that progress, in the hypothetical from today we still want more for the dog.  The dog deserves more. We still want more for sweet pea who is emotionally starving and has been subjected to Joel's coldness in her previous attempts to get closer to him. She deserves more. Like maybe a kiss at least (when she's awake). In night air we see why Joel struggles with that, but he keeps making progress. At least he's kissing your other lips.

-----

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Thank you for reading and being invested <3. Joel's a bad guy but tbh I identify with and pour myself into both these characters in different ways.

I'm tired but this isn't exhaustive 😅 your thoughts and interpretation are valid, too.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi Makenzie

It's the anon with the partner with the 4 hour plateau period again (this seems to be the quickest way to clue you in about who this is again) and I'm glad to say I've taken your advice to heart and slept on it. Yesterday my partner and me had a "fight" (between "" because we just talked openly about what bothered us and there was no shouting, threatening or physical violence, which I am extremely happy about but also makes it hard for my brain to catalogue it as a fight- let's just say it's good this is my first relationship, huh?) about a situation they pushed me into despite my earlier protests and how I shut down afterwards -we're good!- and I brought up how the sexual stuff has been weighing on me. I told them what you told me re: sexual incompatibility and breaking up and they basically immediately apologised, told me sex isn't that big of a deal to them after all and that they don't think we have to break up over it.

I've been fearing our first fight since we started dating, but I'm glad to be able to report that it actually helped strenghten our relationship: I now know I have to work on being more assertive around my boundaries instead of pussyfooting around them and they promised they will do their utmost to listen when I say I don't feel up for stuff.

As for the comments on that original post who expressed their concern about me: please don't worry! I'm good! My partner is one of the sweetest people I know, even if they can be hard-headed (and of hearing) sometimes. They did not willingly pressure me into anything, and the one time they did disregard my 'no' (about a social thing, don't worry!) they really regret and we will both work to ensure that won't happen again.

Thanks for everything!

hi anon,

oh boy! I'm certainly glad to hear you and your partner were able to have a disagreement without physical violence (although unspeakably concerned that you feel the need to specify that and sound so relieved about it), and it's good that you were able to express your needs about sex. like I said in my last answer, the two of you not having sex with each other anymore was like... the bare minimum of what needed to change here.

now, having said that, I'm going to be so real with you: for eight years now I've tried to keep it pretty neutral in my responses and meet my anons where they're at instead of passing judgment, but based on everything you've told me in your two asks I do not like this relationship at all and your partner sounds like they kind of suck.

here's literally all the info I have based on the two asks you have sent me: you met your partner a month ago and, in your own words, they "upended my understanding of myself by somehow making it so we're in a relationship together." in the month you've been together, your partner has

told you (their transmasculine partner) that they wished your body looked more like actresses in porn

told you "on the very first day" that they need to get off only to do a switcheroo when you brought up the idea of breaking up

made you feel wildly insecure in your relationship for your lack of interest in sex

pushed you into a situation that you were actively protesting, re: your fight from this ask, with a possible SECOND instance of this based on your last paragraph

straight up if you were one of my friends talking about your relationship this way I would be BEGGING you to break up with them. this is an insane amount of emotional distress for a MONTH

[gaypiratebrainrot]

Hey, sorry I hope you don’t mind me messaging you again (prev anon) but I can’t stop thinking about wfu after reading earlier in the week.

So on my second read I actually found myself getting quite cross with Stede and the way he is generally the one escalating the situation in terms of physical contact and then placing the blame for that escalation on Ed? yes, i know Ed is the one who waits for him by the trailer after shooting the kissing scene, but it’s Stede who comes back and actually kisses him? And then Ed’s acceptance of that guilt smacks of someone with self esteem issues allowing someone else to place blame on them where it doesn’t belong.

Like, without Stede driving things forward, the physical intimacy would never have happened imho.

Ed clearly wants that intimacy, so I didn’t find myself too troubled by worries about consent, but I do find myself troubled by Stede being the driving force behind things and then Ed being the one left with that guilt. And god, Ed just seemed so lonely, that really got me.

Sorry, I’m not very good at meta analysis stuff, I tend to react to stories through character/emotions so those are my takeaways.

Anyway it’s been a bit of an emotional double whammy reading your fic and then getting cancellation news this week so I’m off to do a bit more crying (jk, except not really)

Thanks again for your story x

thank you so much for this ask!!! i do not mind at all--in fact, i am quite happy to think about this instead of the many other stressful things in my life right now.

your thoughts are so interesting to me, in that you are not the first person to have this perspective on stede's actions in wfu (in a good way!). in fact, my friend @chaotic-neutral-knitter left very similar thoughts in a wfu comment on their recent re-read, and i've seen the sentiment echoed elsewhere in various responses. and it's such a fascinating take to me because it is different from my own perspective, both as i was writing it, and in the year+ since. i am a staunch believer that my interpretation of the text is equally valid as any reader interpretation--that is, i don't think i have any special authority on a "correct" read as the person who wrote it, so big grain of salt with my thoughts.

i think it's interesting how many readers put the responsibility for that parking lot kiss on stede, when i've always maintained that moment as the moment when ed opens the door to what will eventually unfold between them. it's ed who leans in first to kiss stede in the parking lot. in the kissing scene on set, in the moment after the kiss, ed reads so much into the look on stede's face--that "pretend pretend" paragraph, to me, is ed looking at stede and believing that stede understands ed's desire to be genuine and not acting, and that stede, on some level, is accepting/welcoming of that desire. but i think, in that moment, ed reads stede wrong. i think the idea that ed has genuine desire for stede is an impossible idea for stede right up until the moment when ed leans in to kiss him in the parking lot. and then stede doing his little back and forth after initially saying no there, that's stede wrestling with this brand new conception that ed might actually want him, that ed's desire isn't pretend, or a joke.

to consider stede's pov--this is a man twenty years deep in a heterosexual, monogamous marriage, who, for the first time in his entire life, is realizing he might have these extremely repressed sexual desires, for men generally, and for ed specifically. but ed is, and always has been, his hotter, sexier, more successful, more highly regarded friend, inaccessible to stede as an object of desire beyond stede's repressed sexuality. stede has never had to grapple with his desire for ed in large part because never in a million years did stede think ed would be a sexually or romantically attainable person for him. and then, because of the show, stede gets to find out what it would be like for ed to want him, for ed to kiss him like he wants him, but still, still, for stede it's under the guise of pretend. until the moment in the parking lot when ed leans in. and i think that opens a door for stede that he never, ever thought would be open, and so has absolutely no idea how to not walk through it.

there's no question to me that stede is trying to evade responsibility for his actions, especially in the second half, and him showing up at ed's house in the middle of the night and refusing to leave (even while pretending he has the intention of leaving) is pretty blatantly on him. but i also think there's something to his line about "it's not fair for you to want me back"--in the sense that, ed's beauty and sexual charisma and fame and success and status and the fact that he's technically stede's boss and employer does give ed a certain amount of power over stede, a power ed is not responsible with when he goes for the kiss in the parking lot, and when he makes a pass at him a second time after the party at stede's house. ed is offering something to stede in those moments that he should not offer him if he understands and respects the importance of stede's monogamous marriage, which he textually does. ed knows why he should not come on to stede, and he does it anyway, twice. and i think if ed had never come on to stede, stede would never in a million years have even thought it would be possible for ed to want him the way he does, and would never have taken the actions he does once ed opens the door.

all that being said, yeah, i think stede is a real dick about it and tries to place as much of the blame on ed as possible when stede is quite blatantly the aggressor beginning with the moment he decides to walk to ed's house in the middle of the night without his phone or wedding ring. imo, stede is doing some olympic level denial about what he actually wants, and that's making it extremely difficult for him to be accountable for his actions, and to accept responsibility for his choices. whereas ed is at least somewhat consciously aware that he is choosing to do something he shouldn't when he waits outside stede's trailer for the possible opportunity to kiss stede again, instead of going in and talking it thru, and so he's more readily accountable, and it's easier for him to take the blame.

phew, this was a whole essay lol, but i just happened to have been thinking about it a lot still (and am still stuck in covid quarantine). my condolences that you are having wfu feels at the same time as cancellation feels--but at least our fandom is fighting the good fight to not let the show go without a major push back! thank you again for this ask!!! <3 <3 <3

[waytooinvested]

fanfic writer questions

Thanks for the tag @sssammich! I haven't done one of these in years, I'm excited :D

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

Only 11, but a couple are long ones (100,000+ words)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

406,700 and counting - one of those is a WIP that will have a lot more to add so I MAY make it to 500,000 in the coming months, if I write another couple of short ones on top.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now I'm just writing for Supergirl (and supercorp specifically). In the past I wrote a lot for Call the Midwife (Patsy x Delia, my beloveds), and I have written one small one for Strange the Dreamer, just because I had an idea that wouldn't leave me alone until I got it out.

I tend to be a bit all or nothing with fandom, so I am usually only in one at a time.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Hands I Used to Touch (Patsy/Delia - Call the Midwife) by a landslide. It also (briefly) had the most comments of any fic in the fandom which was very cool (it was the one I was writing for longest during the peak engagement era for the pairing, but still it is my crowning achievement as a fic writer haha)

After that Vengeance, Victory and Undying Love (Supercorp), Little Things Mean A Lot tied with A Paper Bag of Pick n Mix (both Patsy/Delia), and Storybooks and Siren Suits (also Patsy & Delia, but as children so not a romantic pairing)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Definitely! I try to respond to every comment, because they mean so much to get and I want the people taking the time to write them to know they are extremely appreciated. Also I have made some wonderful friends that way!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am allergic to angsty endings! Angsty beginnings? Almost inevitable. Angsty middles, sure. Angsty ENDINGS? Never. So angstiest: maybe "The Static of Distance" from my Paper Bag of Pick n Mix, because they are still half a world away from each other during a threat of nuclear war. But even so it's only an angsty ending if you squint really hard.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have pretty unambiguously happy endings honestly, I'm not sure I could pick between them!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I've ever had hate as such. Some maybe less than whole heartedly positive responses, though most of that was when I was teasing an apparently dark character arc before a twist and making people worried about what I was up to. But see above re: all of my fics having absolutely unambiguously happy endings, so we got there eventually.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not so far - I think the closest I have come was my wife and I writing a silly crack fic together that involved smut, but it was not at all meant to be actually sexy and we never posted it anywhere, sooo...

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not typically, but there was A Misplaced Midwife, in which Barbara from Call the Midwife (a fairly sheltered young 1960s midwife played by Charlotte Ritchie) traded places with Hannah from Siblings (a modern day selfish, chaotic disaster human also played by Charlotte Ritchie) and how they got along in each other's lives. It was silly and crack-y but a lot of fun to write.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, thankfully!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Alas, no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The aforementioned crack fic with @cynicalrainbows but that was just for our own entertainment. She also contributed several lines/ideas to A Misplaced Midwife. I don't think I have apart from that.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

I only really have two that I've been invested enough to fic about it, and while my current all consuming obsession is Supercorp, I have only been in it for a couple of months compared to the years long love affair with Patsy/Delia that also led to me meeting my wife and many good friends. So for now, Patsy/Delia still reign supreme. We'll see if that is still the case in a few more months!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I try to always finish my fics, but I do have one unfinished wip on my conscience, and that's Storybooks and Siren Suits. I still open it and do battle with progress now and again just in the hopes that I will manage to drag it across the finish line and put it to bed once and for all, but so far nothing doing. It remains stuck on the same chapter it has been stuck on since 2021.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh no don't make me pay myself compliments... Angst with happy endings? That is not really so much a writing strength as just a description of the type of story I write, but shh. I guess I got a lot of compliments on characterization back in my Call the Midwife days. Whether that follows through to Supercorp remains to be seen. I like how I'm writing them, at least!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My dialogue transitions tend to be clunky, at least so I'm finding lately. Also I am a total feast or famine writer, so any kind of sensible process or schedule discipline is completely non existent.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I avoid it for the most part because I would certainly make a mess of it, though I have one or two very very brief bits here and there. I think the longest piece was a character recalling their own long distant school french, which contained deliberate mistakes the character was making that acted as excellent cover for the genuine mistakes I no doubt also made.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'm trying to recall if I ever wrote anything as a young teenager for Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Willow/Tara, naturally), but I don't think I did, and if so it definitely stayed as tucked away in an old notebook never to see the light of day. The first proper/definite one was Call the Midwife, just after they decided it would be a good idea to hit Delia with a car and give her amnesia right at the moment she and Patsy were about to move in together.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Well right now it's Forgotten Not Forgiven for sure, because that's where my obsession is currently living.

Of all time though? Probably still The Hands I Used to Touch, because I poured everything into it at the time and it played such a big part in me finding my feet in the fandom world. No pressure to do this at all of course but tagging @cynicalrainbows @fabulousglitch, @shut-up-heather-d and @fazedlight as people I know write fic and may enjoy this if you haven't done it already. Anyone else interested feel free to claim me as your tagger, I would love to see your responses!

[one-winged-dreams]

@flatstarcarcosa I had to make something about Angeal being like "press x to doubt" over your first date, don't worry, i'mma reign him in eventually

"So are they actually going to show up?"

Angeal's words caused Adriel to pause, his hair only half-tied as he turned away from the mirror.

"I'm pretty sure," he responded, albeit cautiously.

"Pretty sure isn't a very comforting response," Angeal mumbled, pulling a shirt on, though not without a lingering stare from his wife.

"Oh please don't do that, this is going to go well, don't worry," Adriel replied finishing the messy low-bun as he turned his head this way and that to inspect. 

"Do what?" 

"I can hear that skepticism, you're being overly cautious again. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Don't ask me things like that if you don't want an answer."

Adriel sighed, spritzing some apple blossom fragrance on himself as he checked himself in the mirror one more time before turning and giving his husband his full attention.

"It'll be FINE. I really want this for both of them, so please have a little faith." His expression was one of minor pleading, and those big mako doe eyes had Angeal take a breath and run his hands back through his hair in an attempt to cool himself off.

"I don't know Reese as well as you do, so I think some caution on my end is a bit warranted. And it's not just THEM I'm worried about," he sighed.

Adriel gave a sympathetic but somewhat amused smile in return.

"Zack can be... Zack. But I think that's all the better, don't you?"

"I don't see why we couldn't have done this here at home, I could have made something for everyone, and it would have been much more low risk," Angeal changed the subject.

Adriel scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like we're going to some high-end joint. It's just a low-key sort of place, so you don't have to worry about sunken cost fallacy if it doesn't work out. No big deal, everyone just goes home with no fuss."

Another sigh from Angeal had Adriel rolling his eyes again.

"It's not about 'sunken cost fallacy,' it's about this having the potential to be extremely uncomfortable. It's like you said, Zack can be Zack. If Reese even shows up," the 1st class crossed his arms and tilted his head back as if trying to ground himself.

"You're being so fussy! Who are you more worried for right now, Zack or Reese?" Adriel asked with a pout.

"Honestly?" Angeal started. "Both in equal parts. This is an odd pair up, even you have to admit that."

This brought a smile to Adriel's lips.

"It is. Which is why I think it'll work. Zack is definitely the kind of change of pace that Reese needs. And don't you think having something to occupy him would be good for him too?"

"You mean like enrichment. Like a dog. That's what you're saying."

"YOU'RE the one who started the puppy thing, take responsibility."

The standoff was now at the point where Adriel's hands rested on his hips, and Angeal was rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Fine. Fine. If my headstrong wife says to trust him, then I'll trust him. As much as I hate being in the awkward position of the married couple bearing witness to a first date...."

"It'll be cute, you stop that!" Adriel huffed, going over to straighten Angeal's shirt in an aggressive display of domesticity. 

"I'm not sure what I'm stopping, but I'm stopping," Angeal conceded.

"Seriously though, do you not want this for both of them as much as I do? Zack's your best friend too, you know this has the potential to go way more smoothly than anyone would expect." Adriel stepped away from him, giving him a once-over that ended at the neckline of Angeal's shirt.

"I guess."

"You GUESS."

Angeal sighed again.

"Fine, okay. Yes, I would very much like this to end well for them. Both of them. But I can only lower my level of apprehension so much."

"Fine," Adriel echoed. "But when they end up being an adorable couple later down the line..."

"Then... what?" Angeal arched an eyebrow, re-crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then... We do this all over again. With you shoving that apprehension-"

"Sweetheart."

"Out of the way."

They stared each other down for a moment before Angeal sighed deeply and offered his hand.

"Let's go, then. And pray that I eat my words."

"If you're wrong you're going to be eating something-"

"ANGEL."

"You are so not fun tonight."

[fanstuffrantings]

"It's become so popular to cyberbully people in this fandom, especially if they hold any opinion outside the extremely limited and strictly enforced one-way-only 'acceptable' opinion."

This. Fucking this. I haven't experienced anon hate ir any sort of harrassment, but hearing the hate people can get boogles my mind.

You like Adam or dislike how things ended for him? You feel uncomfortable how fndm treats him? You're an abuse apologist. (because the only villains you're allowed to like are the ones WE decide you can like.)

You like Ironwood or dislike how things ended for him? You dislike how his villain arc got writen? You feel uncomfortable how fndm treats his paranoia and prosthetics? You're a terrible person who supports facism, because you dared to do some critical thinking and don't agree with the group by daring to have different opinions (how ironic)

You ship Blacksun instead of Bumbleby? You're a hompohobe, 'cause Yang and Sun are totally the same people so you should be shipping BB too. (Lets ignore how I water down Yang and Sun to 1 surface level trait and that both have different plotlines with Blake)

And now shipping FB is bad? I thought this fandom cared about f/f ships? Guess, not and only care about keeping everyone in line. For god's sake, you're telling me people got shitted on for theorizing that Qrow is Ruby's dad?? Sheez, with this pathern of behavior I can safely assume I would get accused of being a military bootlicker who supports bombing cities because I like Harriet.

For my time in this fandom I learned the only way I can enjoy RWBY, without mentally blocking out the toxic part of Fndm or getting mentally tired in the Rwde side and without getting frustrated by the canon...is to stay in my corner. No matter how friendly Rwby positive blog looks like - I'm staying in my corner. Quick look at their posts about Rwde, Ironwood etc. and I'm taking a distance.

And what sucks more, I do want to talk about RWBY with people. I want to talk without bringing up it's flaws. Once I brought up RWBY to a mutual of mine and they hadn't heard of it before, but said they would check it out.

I was happy because I would have someone to talk about RWBY, but then later I remembered about how Fndm can be, about the war with criticism they have. I would get worried them getting harrassed if they talk about the flaws. What if Fndms toxicity influences them? Maybe, I did the bad thing for mentioning RWBY to them??

I get, Fndm not wanting constant critcism in their dash. Trying to enjoy a show with many pointing out the cracks can be draining. But all this? All these rules of what to think, like and ship? This isn't ok.

I agree that RWBY haters can drive off new fans of the show. but there are times where fandoms are too responsible for this. Congrats Fndm, I'm tired.

Largely since my re-entry into the fandom I've been incredibly careful about separating positive posts from critical ones. I'll tag things as rwde/rwby critical liberally because I don't want to chance a post I make finding someone who thinks it's too negative. I tend to be more critical this days or think a lot about alterations I'd make to canon to enjoy myself more and I'm having fun doing that in my corner of the internet.

I think mainly the part that threw me was to see a harmless post get someone upset, and then a request for people to manage their internet space only caused this to worsen. Last time I posted freezerburn content (2016 I believe) it was treated as normal and not subject to controversy. It felt a bit like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on me because I wasn't ready for a completely angry response to positivity.

The fandoms response to my recent posts about this situation has been overall more positive in all honesty with a lot of support and mutual aggrevation (like this) at how many rwby fans can often live in an echo chamber where canon is law and anyone who ignores said law is out to destroy RWBY regardless of how much they might enjoy the show.

This defensive nature might stem from fans getting incredibly protective of the series because there was a point when it would get a lot of unnecessary hate in the early days for dumb things (animation and episode length when budget was clearly an issue). But even so they now begin to lump everyone enjoying the show differently together and assume the worst which is what isolates so may people.

I do appreciate all of you for being supportive though and it's unfortunate that the fandom got into a state like this, I feel like it's one of the worst versions of this type of thing in fandom that I've seen. But when we get the fans who accept people are going to have differences of opinions and handle their online space to make sure they're having fun it makes enjoying the fandom easier!

[rolorules]

Random Rolo Ramblings 6: Kururugi and Canon

My intention was to write a few lines about the relationship between Rolo and Suzaku and post them around Suzaku's birthday. Well, it did not happen quite like that, but here they are. Admittedly, there is not really much to write about as far as the series canon goes, and here I would already like to digress a little: By '(series) canon' I mean everything that is officially part of the Code Geass story (people, places, events) as it unfolds in the TV series, not the recap films, which divert from the series canon and partly tell a different story. You can consider them a form of Code Geass elseworld or parallel universe/alternate timeline (apparently Genesic Re;CODE did that) or just see them as a separate movie canon which includes Lelouch of the Resurrection. (Correct, 'canon' is the second main topic of this article.)

As far as the Geass series canon goes, it certainly includes R1, R2 and also Akito the Exiled. I would also add the picture dramas, but that is a matter of debate and one could argue that their canonicity is not on the same level as that of the series' episodes. There are also the drama CDs, but, like I wrote before, these are just too far out there to be part of the official story. There may be official books that Sunrise considers canon, but my personal philosophy is that when we talk about films or TV shows, only what's on the screen is canon.

So what about Suzaku and Rolo? If we follow the show's internal chronology, they first meet in the final scene of Akito the Exiled. We get two reaction shots of Suzaku's face, first when Rolo enters the room, accompanied by the two Geass Order guards, then after he tells him that Charles has 'granted' 'Julius Kingsley' another audience. (By the way, look how tall he is in comparison to Suzaku. Must be the boots.) In both cases, Suzaku looks both quite angry and extremely wary. In the first case, Suzaku even makes a hard-to-define moaning sound that sounds both apprehensive and annoyed. In other words, he does not seem happy to see Rolo at all. He might be uncertain at first whether the rescue party are friend or foe, but even after Rolo has made it clear that they are on his side, he looks as happy as an employee who hates his boss and is told that he can go back to work now. This may have nothing to do with Rolo as a person, but with the unpleasantries that await Suzaku and Lelouch, but to me this look also says "Who's that creep they've sent to pick us up?"

Luckily, there are no hard feelings between Suzaku and Rolo in R2 despite this encounter, and this is obviously because R2 was produced before Akito. There is only one conversation between Suzaku and Rolo (and Villetta) in the OSI's secret control room, (which I have covered before, more than once, actually). While Rolo and Villetta have more or less always treated each other as equals, Suzaku clearly acts as the one in charge. Everyone is very polite, but Suzaku seems to be doubtful about the effectiveness of their surveillance, which triggers a response from Roll that makes him appear a little offendes, but secretly he is certainly worried that Suzaku might find out that Lelouch has regained his memories (and that he has changed sides). In a different world, to Star Trek, they may be friends, at least they don't hate each other, but in this situation, Rolo mostly regards Suzaku as a threat, which is why he even offers Lelouch to kill him. When Suzaku arranges a phone call with Nunnally to figure out whether Lelouch has regained his memory, Rolo thwarts his plans with his time-stopping powers. Apart from that, we see him giving Suzaku wary sideways glances, and that, to my knowledge, is about it. Not much, given the fact that older official artwork often shows Lelouch, Suzaku and Rolo as a kind of love-hate-whatever triangle.

What I would really like to know is what happened between the trio's journey home from Euro Britannia and Rolo's/Suzaku's arrival at Ashford. Didn't they have any conversation about 'Julius' resp. Lelouch? It would have made sense for Suzaku to brief Rolo about Lelouch's character traits so that he knows how to handle him and how to play the role of the little brother convincingly. Moreover, the Vincent's design is based on the Lancelot's, would Suzaku not be the perfect tutor for Rolo as a Knightmare Frame pilot? That would also explain Rolo's piloting skills. (Wouldn't it be fun if Lloyd was also involved? Maybe Rolo had a reason to call him "pervy four-eyes" in that infamous sound episode.)

Of couse there is that slightly weird scene in the second recap movie where Bismarck introduces Suzaku to Rolo (who is dressed like an accountant and looks as if he hadn't had any sleep for a week and not seen any daylight for a month, quite the contrast to his Akito outfit and posture) and Villetta. Here it is made more obvious than in R2 that Suzaku is in charge of the operation. In this scene it is also acknowledged that Suzaku and Rolo have met before, and maybe Suzaku's bad memories are the in-story explanation for Suzaku's so bluntly (and rudely) addressing Rolo's faulty Geass, which is one of the things I hated about this scene, the other one being Rolo's new alias ('Nebiros'/'Neblos'). Rolo's resentful look is more than understandable. I know why the writers made Suzaku say that: they needed a quick way to establish Rolo's weakness, but it still seems so out of character for someone like Suzaku. (I like Suzaku thanking Rolo for rescuing them better, even though he did not look particularly grateful when Rolo freed him and Lelouch from prison.) Villetta's defending Rolo and praising his skillfulness, on the other hand, is perfectly in character for her. Anyway, this scene does not contradict series canon, so I can potentially accept it as "this is what happened" to fill a gap in the story, I'm just not sure if I want to.

Which is why I am now turning to the readers. How do you personally deal with the canon problem, in Code Geass and otherwise? After all, reboots, recaps, remakes etc. are a pretty common phenomenon in the world of anime and elsewhere. Do you want to have a rigid canon or do you like to see alternate/new/fresh versions of the same story? What is your personal Code Geass canon, the two seasons of the TV show, Akito, the recap films, Lelouch of the Resurrection, the mobile games? Please let me know and thank you for reading all this, these articles are called "ramblings" for a reason.

P.S. Sorry for mostly using screencaps that I have used before.

[dropintomanga]

My Girlfriend's Child - The Loneliness of Teen Parents

I'll admit that this is my first real shojo manga read in a very long time. I will say that this is a great title to get back into the shojo game with.

Mamoru Aoi's My Girlfriend's Child is a stand-out manga due to its coverage of an issue that is often misunderstood and/or draws a lot of shame - teen pregnancy.

My Girlfriend's Child is about a high school couple named Kawakami Sachi and Tsukishima Takara. Sachi and Takara are just your regular 16-year olds doing teenage things and learning to navigate adolescence together. However, after one intimate night together, Sachi starts to feel early signs of being pregnant. She takes a pregnancy test and discovers that she is indeed pregnant with Takara's child. The manga covers the two's suddenly complicated journey in learning how to manage their new lives with one they conceived.

What I love about the manga is how it covers Sachi's loneliness once she knows that she's pregnant. She starts to despair over how she will be able to support her child. Sachi also wonders how her education prospects will turn out. She initially thought about having an abortion and felt a great deal of shame on how to tell Takara and her family about it. In the beginning of the story, Sachi was worried about a missing cat named Nora. She somewhat compares Nora's life and the baby's life in a way as she seems to place more value in a cat's life than her own child's.

When Sachi decides to visit a clinic to inquire about an abortion and goes through an ultrasound, she starts to have second thoughts. Sachi finds comfort in Takara, who tries his earnest to be there for her and re-assures her that he'll always be by her side.

After reading the 1st 3 volumes of this manga, I decided to look up research on the mental health of pregnant teenagers. There's not a whole bunch of research on psychosocial interventions to help improve the mental health of pregnant teens or teen parents. A lot of knowledge is missing to fill in gaps for an increasingly under-served group of people.

The manga highlights how support can be helpful while complicated at the same. Takara's mother is shown to lack compassion over Sachi's pregnancy. She blames Sachi to a huge degree for putting Takara into a tough situation. Sachi's mother is happy and is somewhat conflicted on how to best help her as she knows that Sachi has to take responsibility. Sachi's older brother, Kou, tries to be very rational about the pregnancy saying that it's impossible for teenagers to take care of a child.

All of these interpersonal problems start to freak Sachi out as she remarks that there's no future where everyone will be happy. The only guarantee is Takara. I will say that Takara is refreshing because when I hear about teen pregnancy stories, the father is usually out of the picture. But Takara is there every step of the way even when he's not the one who's pregnant. He sadly has to deal with his mother's stress over his relationship with Sachi and is actually kicked out of the house, which makes him remark on how much teens still have to rely on their parents despite craving independence as adolescents.

Girls face so much more mental adversity than boys do because they're "expected" to be married before having children. That's not to say that teen fathers who do care have it that much better. They face a stigma in that they should be "wild and free" while struggling to make ends meet much earlier than they would have liked. There's many socio-ecological factors in play that affect both genders. It does not help that sex education in first-world countries is extremely lacking. Institutions in general seem to treat teenage parents as aberrations that don't deserve support. Children born to teenagers can experience health risks due to teens not being well-versed in various life skills, but people love to blame the parents for that.

I do notice that the manga provides a fresher perspective in that the child of Sachi and Takara might turn out okay. There's a lot of real-life evidence that goes against that, but I think that's because teen parents aren't given positive messaging about their experiences. It's okay for teens to want to be parents if they want to. We don't honor that enough. Parenthood is indeed stressful, but those who welcome it are able to fare better when they are willing to build the strength to do so and have others to help encourage that strength.

My Girlfriend's Child is a very thoughtful series because teen pregnancy isn't really discussed enough and there's definitely a community out there willing to support expectant teen parents. I do feel that teenagers are smarter/better than people think at times and not many people respect that enough. Birth is a part of life that can happen to anyone and teens can make the right decisions for themselves if we let them and respect their ability to do so.

[la-merlaison]

Hey hey hey I'ts me again and I came with another nerdy Louis post!!

Okay guys, the time has finally come! I'm not strong in french at all (for now) but my half french friend kind of is, so I asked them for some help during my research and I hope it turned out okay!!

So, no time to explain, right now we suggest you make yourself a cup of tea and prepare some marzipans (or at least omelettes if u don't have marzipans) because it's going to be a very big and really grandiose post!

Exactly 407 years ago, on sunday, Jan 29th, a huge intrigued crowd gathered in a giant ballroom of the Louvre palace to watch a truly legendary event in the history of France... Still very young King Louis XIII paid extremely close attention to the preparation of the ballet, as his doctor Jean Héroard noted on January 19th: "He rehearses his ballet twice a day."

Why all this mishmash of sentences, you may ask? *ahem* Lemme explain from the very start... (those who already know of all the drama between Louis and his mom, feel free to skip a couple of paragraphs but if you'd still love to dive even deeper into this rabbit hole and connect two dots then let's go!!)

When little dauphin lost his father (Henri IV) at the age of 8, he was still too young to be a king, so for quite a long time his mother Marie de Medici had to take the place of a regent. And it was all cute and stuff, except for the dauphin had already turned 13 for a year and a half (it was considered the age of majority and gaining power over the state at the time) and Mary did not even think of giving up her career, and especially leaving the throne, no matter how pissed off the young king was because of all the ridiculous formality of his "reign".

He was even more disturbed and frankly enraged by the favorite of the Medici - Concino Concini, who had a terrible effect on his mother according to the prince's beliefs (not only his beliefs at all but let's focus on our blorbo's pov). But don't worry! In January Louis along with his friend, with whom he loved to spend time and in general was emotionally very close, conceived how to end this exhaustingly endless regency, which already had a questioning reputation... And I guess it meant, that the time has come for truly dazzling performances in every single way!

Among all the options proposed by Etienne Durand, the court poet of Marie de Medici (he's also responsible for organizing the performance), the king chose a very specific plot which was taken from the old chivalric poem “Jerusalem Delivered” by Torquato Tasso, as if this choice carried a certain kind of symbolism, but what it really meant??

Keep in mind, Louis really chose the following plot himself: "The valiant knight Renaud de Montauban, played by Charles d'Albert (that one close friend and favorite of the king I mentioned before), succumbs to the charms of the sorceress Armide, who takes him into her enchanted gardens and... enchants him (wow who would've thought)! However, his comrades, including Godeffroy de Bouillon (edit. I accidentally thought that Godeffroy and the demon of fire were the same character, but actually they were two different characters both played by Louis XIII oops) came to save Renaud and break Armide's spell."

Finally, on Sunday, January 29th, 1617, the premiere of "The ballet of Renaud's deliverance" eventually happened yayy, but the crowd was so huge that even the king(!) could hardly make his way through such a large audience, the performance even had to be slightly delayed. But it was worth the wait, because in the end everyone were struck by the fiery appearance of an impressive figure in a black mask, covered from top to bottom with flames. It was the king (OUR BLORBO YASS)!! You can see his costume on the first pic below under the number 1 and Charles as Renaud right above him.

It's believed that the ballet about the liberation of Renaud from the spell of the sorceress Armide has a symbolic, even double meaning. Many people recognize Louis himself in Renaud, who seeks to free himself from the oppression of Marie (as if from the spell of Armide). One of the lyricists of "The Deliverance of Renaud", Rene Bordieu, even compared the fiery image of the king with a phoenix, which could hint at the rise from the ashes because it also sounds like an allegory to getting rid off the pressure. Etienne Durand himself also said a lot of different words related to the costume, but there are so many of them that it is better to leave them for another post idk...

Anyways, each of these versions is wonderful in its own way, but the clothes of flame, which Louis demonstrated on himself that day, symbolized not only anger and a burning desire for revenge, but also those were clothes made of the light of justice and the desire for something light and devine like the enameled blades that reflected the light of countless torches and candles in motion, illuminating a hall full of spectators blinded by such a perfomance both literally and figuratively.

Plot twist.... On April 24, 1617, less than three months after the performance of La Délivrance de Renaud, Concino Concini was assassinated by the Baron de Vitry, captain of the royal guard. And about ten days later, Marie de Medici was exiled to Blois =)

Since then, Louis XIII became, in fact, a king but this time with all seriousness!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the post and had a great time with it! Wishing you justice, deliverances, marzipan & omelettes and a guarantee that no one will ever sit for too long on your throne, gotta love anyone who read this 'till the end <3

[not-poignant]

Idk if it was just me but I finished the chapter annoyed at Sebastian and at Alex becuz like, Sebastian is obvi really pushy but Alex could've just talked to him and was enjoying baiting him and chose not to be mature either and now I'm worried it's just me help

It's not just you anon, don't worry sdlkjfas

Okay so, Sebastian's bad behaviour is the most obvious to spot because we're seeing the story from Alex's perspective.

But frankly, Alex can be just as bad.

I have zero doubt that if Alex had just said: 'Sebastian, I don't trust you with this subject, and it's not something I want to talk about. I get that you want to talk about it, but it's not like you've treated me that great about some of these things and I just can't right now' I can guarantee you that Sebastian would have actually taken that on board and left, the way he actually started to leave when Alex asked him to in complete sentences. At that point, Sebastian was pretty resistant, but he still did it and generally speaking every single time Alex has talked to him clearly - like an adult - Sebastian has talked to him clearly - like an adult.

Alex so often sets the tone of their interactions, often without necessarily realising. His truculent, single-syllable answers are very much like a petulant or sulking teenager. It's 100% not healthy communication, and as you say, there was even a point where Alex was enjoying making Sebastian mad.

I love Alex to pieces, but he's not a mature communicator. He has lots of reasons as to why that's true, just like Sebastian has a lot of reasons to behave the way he does, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. Alex mentally being like 'well if you aren't going to ask me questions I'm going to pretend I don't know what you're thinking' is extremely passive aggressive. An adult response is to go: 'If you want to ask me something just ask, but I don't want to talk to you about this, and I don't trust you' or 'Can you please ask what you want to ask' or 'Have you ever noticed that you don't ask me direct questions?'

It's funny because Sebastian will happily admit he's bad at communicating, he can be an asshole, he is pushy. He's a work in progress and he knows he is. But Alex rarely gives him chances to progress. The reason Alex gets pushed against a wall in the next chapter is because Sebastian literally kind of has had enough, and forces Alex to talk to him in like, complete sentences. That's not great, but it's also not great that it's so hard to get Alex to talk like a person.

They're both kind of perfect for each other, lmao. And they're both equally messed up. It's easier to give Alex a pass because we know how distressed and upset he is and we understand and it's bad to forcibly 'out' someone before they're ready. Those things are all true!!

But it's also true that Alex is a passive aggressive monosyllabic little shit who wants love and care and comfort and also doggedly drives it away. This story is about both of them messily growing up (literally, it's in the summary of the story) salkfjsa and that includes Alex. One of the things that makes them compatible is that Alex wants to be pushed and Sebastian wants to push him.

So yeah anon, tl;dr - it's not just you re: being annoyed at Alex and Sebastian in that chapter :D It actually kind of makes me happy that you are annoyed at Alex, though I hope that's not interfering with your enjoyment of the story!

[cleromancy]

brainworms about the dami cuts tims line issue again ohhh my god

tim just not... mentioning exactly what damian did when he taps dick in to get to the bottom of it? like there isnt an. indication that it was a potentially lethal action. and there are so many interpretations for why he wouldn't see fit to share this information and not one of them is mentally well of him

dicks response being like c'mon tim at least pick a harder password. it only took him 6 hours to crack :/

"here i'll make the password to your unhinged contingency plans one of our injokes :)" BABYGIRLS YOU ARE BOTH INSANE. YOU ARE BOTH INSANE PEOPLE.

the reveal that damians entry was like. blatantly among the contingencies for The Good Guys, but like, since DICK wasnt on there, damian very reasonably takes that to mean hes still on the outside of the us vs them in tims mind. (and hes not even like. wrong, except the concept of "us" is... extremely nebulous to tim at this point. and he also just feels like if dick goes bad he, tim, might as well just lay down and die.) which damian cares about enough that he needed to kill tim about it (<- fine and normal, damians never done a thing wrong in his life)

(pause to weep about the "its not fair" panel)

honestly though my favorite part genuinely is that it did not at all occur to dick to chastise damian for essentially picking the lock on tims super secret diary and then not liking what he found in it? never even crossed dicks mind. tim should simply get better locks or, failing that, never write down stuff other people might find and be upset by. just keep it all locked up in your noggin like i do :)

dick like DID have a point that tim should have learned from bruces mistakes re contingency plans but like. the issue with bruce was that the info got leaked and a Villain tm used it to take down the Good Guys tm. the issue in *this* situation is an ally read it and got his feelings hurt. and the ally is a traumatized 10 year old. SO LIKE.

yeah you know what youre right dickie. just change the passwords. its fine. everythings fine.

also. god. i will never stop finding the self-fulfilling prophecy spiral (ie, "you don't trust me and that hurts so i might as well be worthy of your distrust") compelling. damian sweetie you can kill tim as much as you need to until you feel better

hrgrffgh the only like. solid indication that tim feels unsafe re damian is when he says to dick "you get it, right?" and references the league which like. okay. so you're not still worried about murder attempts from Damian.* youre worried about ra's. and you're being a jerkface.

*TBHHHH cutting tims line was not... okay actually i have a lot to say about damians mental state that doesnt rly fit in the bullet point format but i don't actually think damian was Attempting Murder this time so much as stewing and then abruptly lashing out without having fully conceptualized the consequences, and i can and will back up this opinion in a court of law,

but ohhhh my godddddddddd damian. sweetie

also like obligatory disclaimer tim doesnt really care that much about murder attempts on his person lol hes a superhero it comes with the territory. its always funny to me when ppl act like tims beef with damian is over any of the legit reasons he could have to have beef, like. no its the irrational petty ones dude 100%. (did i say its funny to me. i meant annoying)

[aqua-dan]

I’m sorry for like constantly filling up your inbox with question but I’ve figured out what Roy and Garth’s little misunderstandings were so you don’t have to answer that ask.

I also would like to admit that I think that I’m kind of a Roy.

Bare with me…

I often trash on my friends at any given opportunity. Any opening for a snide remark, any mean comment I could possibly think of in two seconds. If it’s clever and witty then I’ll squeeze it in and for any other person what I’m doing is seen as mean and for a while… they also considered me as rude.

I never really realized that I was actually overstepping someone’s boundaries. This is more geared to one specific person and I felt like really bad about it… because… the whole reason I was being like that in the first place is because I like them and I want to be close to them…

Like I considered them different from everyone else - I felt like I related to them and I felt like they could understand me - like they could understand the worst parts of me and if they over time got conditioned to being around me even when I’m like that then they could be the type of person who I can show all my ugly to as well.

It’s like weird - I don’t know how to describe it. In my head I seriously think that what I’m doing is like extremely and so obviously affectionate and caring. It’s like me insulting them is actually the most hilarious thing in the world because me thinking low of them would be the biggest joke to end all jokes… because I don’t think low of them - I really like them and I thought that was obvious.

I guess it’s easier to show that in a special little game made for them then it is to do it in a normal way because if I do that I’ll be showing my ass because if I was affectionate in a normal way and they didn’t like me then it’d kind of crush me and if I do it this way and they still like me than perhaps it’s mutual.

God, to think when they communicated to me that they didn’t think we were close enough for that then I felt like a damn idiot because I felt closer to them than literally anyone else. :(

It’s very twisted but my POINT is that lowkey Roy probably really likes Garth if my situation at all resembles that.

Ah, classic preschool bs, if he’s mean to you for no reason than it means he likes you but it is very true.

I think that people don’t understand RoyGarth because they refuse to see the implications. It’s not a bad or confusing ship at all. It’s misunderstandings and if they truly hated each other’s guts its not like that will ever effectively take away from the quality of the ship.

What Roy does for Garth is almost inherently affectionate and almost romantic seen through the right lenses.

Sorry for the tangent. This isn’t me venting AT ALL by the way - I’m just trying to connect Roy’s behavior to something and I know myself better than anyone so!

Hey! No worries, anon! I actually LOVE getting asks, and I'm always super appreciative for every one I get! I'm sorry also that I'm so slow to answer them. I get so nervous answering things sometimes because I don't want to say the wrong thing. I've been known to go and re-read whole series just in case so I can give the best response I can. But that does mean that sometimes asks sit around for a bit... oops. This ain't about me though, so!

Thank you genuinely for sending this! I think it's a really interesting take on this whole thing from someone who has clearly analyzed their own actions/feelings, and gives us a perspective that we may not otherwise see.

I do think it's really intriguing, both in real life and in fiction, how differently two people can view something and how actions can be interpreted/misinterpreted.

Again, thank you for being willing to share this! (And as a side note, I still am planning on answering your other ask anyway, but maybe as a comprehensive look at Roy and Garth's interactions)

[vergess]

The Letters from Watson situation and you bringing up that being exposed to bigotry over time normalizes it reminds me of a situation where I was hurt because someone didn't tw for bigotry. I watched the Nanny a lot as a young kid and when Matt Baume did a video essay about it and it's roots in queer culture I decided to try and re-watch it. When I actually went to watch it, I was floored by the sheer scale of fatphobia presented. It wasn't a jab here or there every other episode, it was a barrage of fatphobia in every episode, baked into the text. I tried to hold out, to see if I could ignore it, but eventually found myself in tears as a chubby child actress was berated on screen for comedic effect. But what really scared me was... The show was getting to me. I was starting to see the thin but less petite elder daughter as fat, when I wouldn't have before. The show was changing my perspective despite my best efforts to not let it get to me. Fatphobia is not comparable to anti semitism, but this taught me that, if you are going to present a piece of media, or analyze it, not mentioning or warning for bigotry is irresponsible at best, and endorsement at worst. I'm still a bit irritated that fatphobia wasn't mentioned even once in the essay. I'm really sorry this backlash is happening over a very reasonable reaction. :/

Mmm, actually I think most kinds of bigotry are very comparable.

Not universally, no. But, in general? People benefit from comparing them. Solidarity is often built on learning the things we have in common first, so that we can better help respect and protect each others' different needs, interests and abilities.

Just off the top of my head, for example, fat people and Jewish people are both characterized as greedy, and in fact, Jewish people are often specifically characterized as fat.

But that's REALLY off topic, haha.

In this case, while there were some warnings made about a month ago (apparently these warnings were repeated if you use the email reader, but I do read on the website, where the warnings are not repeated), and while I was aware of the content going in, my issue is, again, not with the existence or lack thereof of the TW list.

As I have. Repeatedly and constantly said. I think the TW list is lovely. It's great. It's very complete. Nice work everyone. No one has any problems with the TW list. No one has ever had any problems with the FUCKING. TW. LIST.

THE PROBLEM. IS WITH. THE UNHINGED. ANTISEMITISM. IN RESPONSE. TO THE MOST MILQUETOAST. IMAGINABLE. POST. EVER. MADE.

Here's the breakdown.

20 y/o Jewish woman: Gosh, even with the trigger warning a whole month ago that imo was really not enough, that sure was some antisemitism. I would prefer to see more pushback on such intense racism in the future, but it is early days. Sure hope things get better as we go!

Me, 30+ Jewish person: Haha, yeah, reminded me of how much it hurt to read when I was a kid. Glad I've got bigger problems to worry about nowadays lol.

Every gentile within earshot: OH SO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CODDLE YOU POOR LITTLE JEWBABY FEELINGS HUH? WE SHOULD CENSOR ART FOR YOUR PRECIOUS WIDDLE OWIES? YOU WANT YOUR TO PRE-DIGEST YOUR WORDS BECAUSE YOUR SUBHUMAN JEW BRAINS CAN'T READ? KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

Me, again: Okay, well. That is an extreme fucking reaction so let's fucking calm our asses down with the goddamn nazi shit for ten fucking minutes, perhaps????

And then the gentiles devolved into further screaming about how I'm, I don't know...

They seem to have convinced themselves of a lot of things at this point. The ones willing to put their names on it are mostly content to call me anything from a liar to a harasser to an imbecile incapable of reading, to someone with a personal hatred of the Substack operator, etc etc.

They seem broadly convinced that I "want" something or to impose on the substack. Which is nonsense. All I "wanted" was to read some books I liked with a group of people and discuss, and that ship has thoroughly fucking sailed.

The anonymous bitches are mostly wandering into blood libel at this point. Again, I used to post all my anon threats, but I stopped doing that once bigots got smart enough to start reporting me for spam when I did that, because victims showing their harassment in public is, of course, the real harassment.

They also seem not to be aware of a very simple fact:

I can still see your comments in my notifications page if I'm the OP, even after you've blocked me, and it is very fucking obnoxious.

[commanderbuffy]

Oh, Kris.

Requiescat in pacem to your inbox. Lux perpetua luceat eis. I need to read chapter 1 again because all I could really focus on last night was that fs/n anon was going to absolutely lose their shit and I was sorry I couldn't see it happen in real-time. :D On the IVF thing... even though I know that, in addition to fanfic medicine and fanfic family law, HC probably has fanfic health insurance rules but I can verify that IVF in the UK is covered by the National Health Service for eligible people. Depending on the rules of the NHS integrated care board where you live, the NHS will cover between 1-3 cycles of IVF (I know people who actually moved because their local NHC ICB only covered a single cycle).

In Jade's case, she wouldn't qualify for IVF coverage under the NHS unless she'd gone through six cycles of artificial insemination and six cycles of intrauterine insemination* without conceiving, which can run into the thousands of pounds per cycle. Or she received a diagnosis that she would not be able to conceive without assistance... which would be kind of bad, since most of the reasons a 25-year-old would be automatically referred for IVF are not things I'd wish on Jade. (*The requirement for IUI was repealed in 2022.)

That said, for people who conceive, even with the [expletive]-[deleted] Tories gutting healthcare funding over the past 15 years, pregnancy care in the UK is still free through the NHS. Even private healthcare for pregnant and birthing people costs about a third as much in the UK compared to the U.S.

All of which to say, assuming Jade qualified for NHS care (by having UK citizenship, for example), it's not implausible that she would look at costs of having a kid in the UK vs the US and decide to go for it.

That said... I do find it a bit weird that Jade went from one co-dependent relationship to being a mom in the space of two years. Not that I'm suggesting that there might be other reasons someone decides to have kids almost immediately after breaking up with their partner and moving to another country... I just find it interesting that in one chapter, we see Jade being both extremely frustrated and upset with constantly feeling responsible for Kit and... *checks notes* mother to a toddler.

Huh.

RIP to my inbox is right! (i love it though)

This is all SUPER interesting re: the NHS system.

As for Jade's moving from one co-dependent relationship to being a mom in the space of two years...yeah, that will come back. that will be addressed. don't worry.

[enderwalking]

re: endersmile, i'm very much in the belief that things like the community house, handing over of the book, and keeping of the disc were trust exercises in a way, both ways. they're both very guarded people, so it'd make sense that they'd need to test each other out before committing to the larger portion of the plan. if enderboo was the one to suggest the community house like you pointed out, then that'd be dream risking something dear to him, the largest symbol of the server's past 1/7

His past, the symbolic Commitment to the plan, lose the past for their shared ideal future. meanwhile enderboo handing over his book is like him baring his neck in exchange, back then the book was the only lifeline ranboo rly had w the everchanging politics/relations/events, to lose it would be losing himself. and i think the traitor reveal was planned, a way to distance them in the server's minds, fully knowing the risk of execution (one that dream and punz could easily stop like hog hunt, and we know ranboo's opinions on dying for a cause he believes in, especially if petty bc jfc he hated how nlm was). the supplying of tnt was likely as simple as "i want this place Gone, let me help" from enderboo, bc we hear from ranboo how he was onboard w its destrunction, that it was inevitable and was likely for the best. the disc holding is described by the voice as a secret exchange in the nether, one of them having gotten the disc from skeppy beforehand(happyduo is very involved in their shit at key points, its interesting), and this one For Sure is a trust exercise since dream could've easily hidden it elsewhere or had it in his e-chest but instead he gave it to enderboo to hide until he needed it back, and after retreiving it he even left a lil thank you note. ranboo's main concern when finding it was the horror of doing so unknowingly and not wanting to believe it, but then it was feeling in danger from Others finding out, not dream, he was worried for his, phil, and techno's safety bc he knows the lengths people(tommy, namely) will go to for the discs, for the power they hold on some people. i think from then on they had their bond Solid, dream letting enderboo into the disc finale rehearsals and all, enderboo quickly visiting prison over and over, dream and his clock tantrum arc and wanting to send a message to ranboo above even george, enderboo's eager response to the message in a way that seemed to mock his forgetful self. not to mention how i think that enderboo was expecting to have a big reveal in disc finale(-points at Mask of My Own Face-), but dream being dream chose to protect him instead(an ongoing trend of his that i hold dearly) by taking the community house blame, which confused enderboo as shown by the staring and his notes from the finale. i care they and their fucked up plans that they Somehow keep getting away w -Soul (apologizes for the sudden ask essay lmao, i have terminal endersmile brainrot its a problem -Soul)

DO NOT APOLOGIZE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS IN FACT terminal endersmile brainrot is a constant on the lei enderwalking blog and i am delighted to share it

i completely agree wrt the whole trust exercises thing, and that is such a fantastic take on my mostly-silly theory/headcanon about the community house explosion that i'm adopting it immediately omg. i think the only thing i don't fully agree with in this is that i really don't think that ranboo was ever meant to be revealed in the finale? i've talked before about how ranboo's alliance with dream is one that is played extremely close to the chest, like i don't think there was any way that he would've exposed that in front of 90% of the server. in my mind, the eye contact was something very different, it was more about an unspoken signal like, "this is all according to plan, you know this. we both know what needs to happen next."

only semi-related tangent, but it's interesting the context in which dream does finally reveal information connecting himself to ranboo, i.e. to sam in the prison. dream told sam about ranboo in the midst of attempting to destroy sam's entire worldview, and it was a very spiteful, targeted reveal of information, like he was saying, "this is the person you wrote off as just a meek hostage, as just collateral damage, and yet this is the person who shook the control you so desperately grasped for. what does that say about people? what does that say about you?" and yet even in revealing ranboo's actions, he still holds back. he doesn't give any details as to why or how the prison tnt happened, he doesn't give any context to why or how ranboo is working with him, it's just an isolated bit of information, given only after dream has already made sure of the limits of sam's knowledge on ranboo overall. and this is speculation, but just based on how dream is and on the nature of his and ranboo's relationship, i don't think dream would have revealed anything if he wasn't fully confident that there would be no chance of sam retaliating against ranboo in the future. obviously at this point ranboo is already dead so he was less at risk, but more than that, i think it shows that dream was absolutely Determined to intimidate and break sam down to the point where he wouldn't dare.