#dont let jonny see this one PLEASE

[witchinatree]

the magnus archives is officially too much of an influence on my life

i've been learning french for almost a month now and it means i'm saying "my name is" a lot more and every time i say it or read it my mind just goes to "je mappelle martin blackwood et je suis non solitaire plus"

or like when i'm practicing spanish!!!!! what the fuck!!!!! "me llamo martin blackwood y yo no soy solitario nunca màs"

GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

LEAVE ME ALONE [flashbang] AAAAGHHHH (/ref)

[p1nkwitch]

Hi, I really like you writing. Could I get 51. for some ship with Jon? (preferably jongerry, but if you don't ship it jonmartin is fine too. also feel free to make is as soft as you want!)

Oh no no, I love JonGerry i actually like it more than Jmart. The potential was there so here!! Have some fluffy and fun bbys enjoying hanging out.

51- Public kiss JonGerry

Au where they work in a normal job

Jon is nervous, the institute is having a party and Tim invited him to hang out with everyone and he was already panicking. He is their boss, but he had been so insistent and when he mentioned that they haven't been able to just spend time in a group since his promotion…

Made him cave in feeling guilty.

Still he was very worried that he might make the wrong impression, Gerry who was cuddling Melon Princess looked at him amused from the couch.

“What?” He is snippy which is not fair, still he knows him enough to just snort an answer back.

“Cmon Jon, you said Tim is your friend. I'm sure it won't go badly” He doesn't understand, he doesn't.

“Yes, but that was before, now i'm his boss and- and i know i didn't deserve it, but i wanted that promotion and maybe they don't-” A cat is put in front of his face.

“Hi dad, mew, i think you are being paranoiiid, pet me and it will calm you down!” The complete dry tone makes him choke a laugh and pick up Melon from him.

“Thanks” He shrugs and kisses his cheek.

“How about this, I tag along, if anything they will be more focused on me that in you?” Usually he would refuse him, but he deflates and agrees, anything to keep him more calm will do.

“Please..” Gerry smiles at him and Jon feels his cheeks burn, he is so lucky to have met him, and to be the recipient of said smile. Gerry was far more… subdued before, but now he is far more open and he is happy to think he helped and likewise he is helping him too to not be so closed off.

“Of course, I will change, I'm sure they will be far more focused on my hair, apparently everyone is!!!” Jon snorts and sits to wait for him.

“Maybe if you let me help dye it-”

“Oh fuck off Sims-!!” He grins.

They all stare. Sasha, Tim and Martin all stare, not at him, but at Gerry who decided to come in his favourite clothes, which, now that he thinks about it, are not exactly what you would wear for an office party, but he had been so relieved that he did not question it until it was too late.

“So this is my boyfriend Gerry, i… hope you don't mind? I remembered you always insisted on seeing a picture…” Tim opens his mouth and closes it a few times, but ends up grinning like he saw the best thing ever.

“Pleasure to meet you Gerry!!” Sasha and Martin also say hi and then they all go to get some drinks and talk while everyone at the institute sort of mingles around. Its a little bit awkward at first but once Sasha asks about Gerry's job and he mentions that he sells paintings he makes plus working half time in his own bookstore, things smooth out fairly easily.

Tim talks with him and gets Martin to join, who looked a little bit uncomfortable, but was ultimately by the end of it having fun. Jon feels Gerry interlace their fingers under the table and he smiles. 

At one point Tim, slightly drunk, declares they should have a karaoke contest. Elias for some god forsaken reason had thought it would be a nice addition to it, drunk or tipsy people would all go there. In fact he has seen several people from research perform a group rendition of bohemia rhapsody in slightly off key tune.

Jon was also as a matter of fact tipsy, not enough to just embarrass himself like that, he has actually a fairly good tolerance for alcohol. Sasha joined him and after egging Martin one the three made their way there. He picked his cellphone and went to record.

“They are nice”

“Mm” He keeps recording Tim trying to do a slightly bad macarena while singing total eclipse of the heart with Sasha and Martin.

“It looks like they are having fun…”

“Yeah, im making sure they will remember on monday”

“... Jon” He turns at him and sees the mischief. Oh no.

“Err yes?”

“I never sang karaoke” And. well shit. He lets out a breath,

“Awful and incorregible” His lips are up in a crooked smile that is more accentuated by the dark purple lipstick. 

“Fine, fine!” Gerry grins so joyfully and happily that it feels like he was staring at the moon all pale and beautiful, his boyfriend leans forwards and feeling his breath catch on his throat he closes his eyes and lets him kiss him. His left hand goes to his cheek to caress it and he has to lean back a little bit because he presses himself closer, Jon feels giddy, its nothing beyond their lips pressing together by his own personal preference towards the activity, but no matter how many times it always feels just as perfect as the first time it happened all those years ago.

Gerry pulls back a little bit and kisses him softly a few more time, each one making him feel more and more like he was floating, but before he could say anything the bubble he is in burst when someone wolf whistles at them and then-

That's when he remembers that he is at a work party and he got kissed by his boyfriend in front of everyone. Gerry must realize it too, because he flushes too but smiles nonetheless.

“OY, DONT MESH WITH MY MATE. I CAN KISH TOO-” Tim who was very brave, drunk and trying to help , grabs Sasha and kisses her, before turning to  Martin’s and giving him one too.

Everyone around who was in a relationship looked at him, shrugged and kissed their partners while the others cheered them on.

Jon snorts and then starts to laugh incredulously. Gerry joins him and he ends up putting his hands on his shoulders while he grabs his waist, they lean against each other laughing and actually spinning a little bit at the ridiculousness while  adding a few more kisses along the way, even if everyone was watching no one seemed to care. And Jon felt finally at ease.

Enough so that he sang a few songs with Gerry who looked way too happy and managed to snatch a few more kisses. That is until he decides to sing the song that he was Performing the day he met Gerry while at a mechanisms concert.

To say that everyone lost it by the end of Red Signal would not be an exaggeration.

Jon had a lot of fun and seeing his boyfriend laugh and joke with Tim and the others while holding his hand, he felt that things were settling better than expected.

By the time they are in bed that night he kisses him a last time before turning off the lights and telling him how much he loves him, he always looks surprised by it, but while blushing a little at it, even now, he tells him as much.

“Thanks for coming”

“Thanks for amusing me and dedicating me that rendition, I think Tim almost has a conniption” Jon laughs.

“He wanted my secret past, he got it”

“That he did gnight... jonny”

“Shut up.... Night Ger”

[eldritchqueerture]

i love your reviews and since you gave me permission, mag 148?

also gonna use ur askbox as a confessional now bc this is such an Eye Avatar episode for me. i fucking hate security cameras more than any other aspect of the eye and idk how jonny managed to access this niche fear of mine. but on the other hand i like Knowing things. way too much.

by all means, please use my askbox as a confessional, i love knowing things too (im not very eye-aligned but. i did make a spreadsheet of the podcast.)

lets get to it then

USELESS SCHEMING PIECE OF SHIT YES BASIRA FUCK HIM UP FUCK HIM UP FUCK HIM UP FUCK YOU ELIAS

MISCALCULATION ELIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT A MANS EATING HABITS WERE HIS OWN PRIVATE BUSINESS CUNT MOTHERFUCKIGN BITCHASS BASTARD ELIAS I LOVE YOU

"because the spider usually wins"...............................so it does. :|

god i love him he's so fucking. there's a word but i dont have it. he's such an evil cunt.

god this season makes me so sad. the business with martin's isolation is just so sad for me. its not even like theyre doing something dumb and from the listener's perspective i can yell at them, it makes sense what they're doing and it still fucking suuuucks

statement delicious and nutricious

old cameras you say? 👀

ever since i watched mike lebeau's commentary on some of the episodes, I like to pay attention to where the music starts to come in. just a little fun observation; here it starts when jon reads about samson setting up the cameras

wait. is that manual a leitner?? its gotta be

and the music rises at the mention of their face in the manual :D

i wonder what he watched in there at night. just the empty shop? were you having fun samson? i also wonder how he experienced this, like what was his motivation for watching; did he look for some answers? did he just feel the need to Watch, no matter what. Maybe the Eye gave him access to watching other things than the shop as well? i guess what im getting at is if the Eye was feeding on his fear as well and is so, then what was he scared of

samson said fuck reality im gonna live in the cameras now

AUTOCANNIBALISM JON NO

personally, i don't find this very scary, but i get how it could be. but i've always found it reassuring (on rare occasions i actually paid any mind to it) that someone is watching what's happening. like, recently i've been to an escape room with my friend, and we invited another one of our friends, but they said they're freaked out by escape rooms because the person outside is always watching what you're doing. and i've got the exact opposite of that - i'd be more scared if no one was watching, if i was there alone, and you see how i clearly am an avatar of the Lonely

anyways, might send you some of the eps that freaked me out the most later <3

[madlittlecriminal]

Hi Billie! Hope you are doing well! Can I please request another Jonathan Crane x reader (I just love my Jonny boi😂) with prompts 49. "Please dont go" and 50. "I fell in love with my best friend"? If not no worries! Have a great day/night!!

Slow ↦ Jonathan Crane × GN!Reader

prompt 49: “Please don’t go.”

prompt 50. “I fell in love with my best friend.”

heyo! im doing alright & my day was good! also, you can request as much as you want to be honest & honestly? i love him too even if he tried to make Gotham go crazy XD hope you like it & hope you’re doing great! hope you have a great day/afternoon/evening/night :)

(lmao, i found this gif that lowkey highkey represents the scarecrow fandom while looking for a gif for this prompt XD)

from my first prompt list

Warnings: soft!crane because i like making mean characters hella soft

Your grabbed the door knob, ready to leave Jonathan’s house until he grabbed your wrist. “Please don’t go.” You let out a sigh. “Then can you tell me why you’ve been so secretive? You’ve been avoiding me like the plague and now you actually touch me and tell me not to leave after what? Two months? Jonathan, what’s going on?” He knew you were annoyed because you said his first name and not one of the many nicknames you gave him.

“I can’t tell you, (Y/N).” You scoff. “We’ve been best friends for years now all of the sudden, you can’t tell me? Just let me go so I can go home.” He shakes his head. “I know that means you’re putting an end to our friendship.” You shrug in annoyance and in anger. “Well what do you want me to do?! Plus, you already ended the friendship once you continuously avoided me, Crane. What else am I supposed to do? I came here to see if I can understand why YOU invited me over, but I guess I just wasted my time.”

“I fell in love with my best friend.” He blurted out and you froze. “What?” He ran a and through his hair and nodded. “I fell in love with you. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I didn’t know how you’d take it if I told you. I’m sorry.” Your scan his face to see if he was lying just to prevent himself from telling you the truth, but there was only honesty on his face and in his blue eyes. “You didn’t have to avoid me, Jon.” He opens his arms and you hug him. “I was scared.” You snicker. “That’s ironic.”

He chuckles and hides his face in the crook of your neck. “It is indeed.” You play with the hair in the back of his neck. “If it makes you feel any better, I fell in love with mine too.” He relaxes and nods. “That makes me feel much better.” You smile. “Let’s just take it slow, Jonny boy.” He laughs at your nickname. “That’s fine by me, (Y/N).”

~~~~

tag list: @captainshazamerica @pree-2003-blog @bubblegumfanfics @whitetigerfox950 @shewearsprada

wanna be added to my tag list? click here to let me know! :D

[thewordsinthevoid]

Live thoughts on tma 163:

-im wondering how they will change the stateformat now if they will will

-ooh walking yeah finally do something go on a trip with your so!

-martin are you human still

-oh so no one can like, sleep or dream anymore, whats happened to jons dreams?

-martin just wants a boat let him have a boat

-give martin a boat jon

-martin deserves a boat to ram peter lukass with

-oh god the panopticon! Holy shit! Fucking cool!

-your being ominous again jon, stop being a theatre kid

-the amount of stuff jon knows is terrifying

-YEAH IM SCARED TOO MARTIN

-THEYRE GONNA DIE

-IS THIS THE SLAUGHTER

-MARTIN JON ARE YOU OKAY

-oh god whos with them

-"dont be a prick jon" ajsjdkakdndj

-im scared of the trenches

-STATIC

-does he do statements on command now, statements all the time

-yeah martin stand up for yourself!

-glad theyre compromising

-i kinda like this new format im glad its somewhat similar

-"mahtin i hate your tea" BITCH

-oooh monologue

-war fucking sucks kids

-i like these new forms of the fears we're seeing

-i like the symbolism

-i dont know whats going on but god the vibe

-god this season is great

-is charlie an avatar?

-everything is dying~

-oh god is charlie dead!

-nooooooooooo

-oh good he lives

-just to suffer

-the drone?

-there are drones?

-oh god drone warfare

-god this ep is terrifying i love it

-can anyone die in the trenches?

-is this whats happening right now?

-oh god tanks

-god the imagery of being fed to the tank is fucking terrifying

-jon just goes off on a monologue in the middle of a war

-i love the background sound effects sets it apart

-i dont know whats going on but thats okay!

-the surgeon the surgeon the surgeon the surgeon scares me

-kinda like the way that the pov keeps on changing

-this is a great opening to the road trip apocalypse

-are there monsters on the other side? I dont think there is, but like, idk whats going on

-someone explain this episode to me later please

-HEY JONNY WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO MAKE SO MUCH SCARY IMAGERY

-is-is that an avatar? Is it the capitalism avatar? Hi uncle sam

-im going to assume the guy whos like "oh look what a hero" is the uncle sam capitalism avatar

-charlie your back!

-jon u ok?

-omg the tone shift

-"yeah yeah"

-hey dont be mean martin we just wanna know what happens

-jonny reveal to me the tape recorders secret please

-IS THAT A FUCKING PHONE

-"thats here for some reason"

-DONT ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE MARTIN

-RUN MARTIN

-WHERED JON GO

-MARTIN

-oh god oh god oh god oh god

-whats the phone

-martin are you gonna be ok

-martin?

-WHATS THE FUCKING PHONE

[kateinator]

please tell me about your mechsona! i really hope this isnt weird because we dont know each other but mechsonas are cool and stuff!!

Okay so like with every fandom I make a self insert which is just “me but cooler and when I listened to the Mechs I was like “okay let’s do this” Even though I’ve only listened to the main albums (not TTBT1 + 2, Frankenstein, and I’m trying to brace myself for DTTM) and not read any canon fic. 

Their name is Donovan Flowers, their gender is ????? (haven’t worked it out yet), mechanism is a missing leg and missing right eye (also maybe like an elbow??? like the entire elbow got replaced but the forearm was fine??? Carmilla was just experimenting and was probably high). 

What do they look like??? Redhead, absolutely. White button up shirt, brown corset, black skirt, grey sleeveless overcoat/cardigan, brown belt over the corset and jacket. Brown belt bracelet and fingerless lacy gloves on the left hand. And a top hat, with goggles and flowers on the band. Think victorian adventurer meets wild west gunslinger meets MCR (all of which I pulled out of my closet cus I’m that person). As for favored weapons, I’m gonna go with knives and a bat with nails, with a gun (six shooter) as backup. 

Role on the ship??? They’re the ship’s cook (actually built a garden on the Aurora as something to occupy their mind) and basically extra hands whenever necessary. In the band, they have a talent for picking up melodies and playing things by ears, so they can pretty much pick out the melody for something if needed. However, their usual role is voice, saxophone/woodwinds (like in the Bifrost Incident), and accordion. 

Backstory??? Lowly cook falls in love with heir to shady possibly mafia royalty (a woman named Lavender Blue, based off of @cryptvokeeper), marries in secret, runs off with their love when the marriage comes to light, travels the stars for a couple years having adventures with wife, the family catches up to them, Lavender ends up dead in Donovan’s arms, with Donnie mortally wounded, only for a familiar space vampire to float up to their ship and save Donovan’s life. 

Cut to some amount of time later, the Mechs come across a supposedly abandoned ship which holds one certifiably insane saxophone player who cannot die when Jonny inevitably tries to shoot them and upon hearing the name “Mechanism” goes “Oh shit I heard about you!!! Do you need a cook?” and then just Vibed for the rest of time

Other important facts: 

Absolutely is not all there in the head-- medical experimentation for god knows how long coupled with isolation for who knows how much longer and the fact that they keep seeing their dead wife and having conversations with her kinda does that to a person

(Lauren and I chatted about this, Donnie’s robo eye got possessed by Lavender’s spirit and they still talk but Donnie’s the only one that sees her and it’s out of that one eye)

The robo eye can also replay and project memories, further confusing them

Unfailingly polite. Just, such a nice person. Not the biggest fan of killing indiscriminately (still clinging to that moral code) but like, will cut off someone’s genitals if you try and mess with them

Push them to their limit and they will go feral and mow ppl down 

Comes from Space New York and doesn’t know what an England is. 

Also talks way too fast all the time

refers to everyone as “Mr.”, “Ms.”, or “Mx.”, since they’re the newest member of the group. 

(Considering that the Toy Soldier is referred to as “it”, Donnie defaults to calling it “Captain Soldier”)

(Jonny has shot them for doing this multiple times)

Wears their wedding ring on a chain around their neck. 

Loves the Toy Soldier and Boring/MJE Brian the most. 

Once spent a week just cuddling the octokittens

If they wrote an album it would be based on Tam Lin

Absolutely the Little Sibling but also has Middle Sibling Energy

Yeah that’s basically it!!! I haven’t thought of any particular inspiration behind their story, like a fairy tale or anything. I’m thinking about it tho!!!

[cnidocyst]

What about Rolf or Jimmy for the character thing, please?

well i was GOING to draw but my laptop shit out on me after the last ask and now my tablet wont work :///

But anyways, why not both?? I love em both

Rolf - 

favorite thing about them - His good attitude and general big brother of the cul de sac kind of vibe. Also Rolf growing sour and jaded over time appeals to me.

least favorite thing about them - Nothing, he’s perfect ❤ No seriously, I cannot think of anything that bothers me about him. 

favorite line - “DO NOT FRAZZLE ROLF!” “Your garden is overgrown, and your cucumbers are soft!” “MAY SHOWER SCUM DEVOUR YOUR HEAD!” “You tickle Rolf’s radish.” “This is Rolf’s word! ...Dawg.” I’ve been thinking about “EEL WOMAN! RAISE THE JUG!” a lot lately and I don’t know why. Also I miss when Rolf would say “You crazy.” a lot.  

brOTP - Big fan of when Kevin and Rolf casually hang out. From a distance Kevin seems like someone who’d think he’s too good for oddball Rolf but nope they’re best friends

OTP - Am very down for kevrolf and rolfnazz. Kevrolf because bro dude type ships are just funny to me and rolfnazz bcause he would treat her better than Kevin does. I also just like the idea of Nazz going with the one guy her age who wasn’t obsessed with her. I guess now that I think about it I like rolfnazz mostly out of spite for the other boys huh

nOTP - No strong feelings. Only times I’ve heard about Jimmy with Rolf was in a one sided Jimmy having a crush context which is fine. Don’t think Rolf would reciprocate those feelings 

random headcanon - 1. I like to think Kevin helps out Rolf with his chores when Rolf’s busy as a means to still hang out with him (and an excuse to become as strong as rolf)except Kevin is terrible at any farm work especially anything animal related. At first Rolf didn’t know how to say no but after a non specific incident Rolf said nope that’s it, never help rolf again you hear me 2. Kevin and Rolf’s friendship is very on the rocks from season 5 past big picture show, in fact Rolf and Nazz almost broke off from Kevin entirely. Rolf and Nazz also kept hanging out without Kev around the events of BPS both before and after  

unpopular opinion - I see Rolf referred to as the most powerful character a lot but he could be killed by Sarah dont kid urself

song i associate with them - Orange County by Dylan Kanner bcause it’s about being unsatisfied with city life

favorite picture of them - post milky rolf bcause it annoys ghostypepper

Jimmy -

favorite thing about them - Sassy little gay boy with the best lines and also had character development. Good for him

least favorite thing about them - S1 Jimmy didn’t have enough to do and I would’ve liked to see Jimmy stay more consistently competent after Ed in a Half Shell and ESPECIALLY If It Smells like an Ed but that one’s just a tiny nitpick I don’t actually care about. 

favorite line - “Someone get me off this merry-go-round called life!” “Darn, my perfectly manicured nails!” “You smell suspiciously herbal fresh. Use it or lose it, missy *starts pummeling nazz*” “In a second! I’m oiling up for speed!” “If only Sarah could see how good I am at manual labor!” “*way too casually* Honest Mister, I’m just a kid, I’m broke.” “Looking for trouble? Cause I’ll flip you like an omelette!” “HOPE YOU’RE WEARING A CUP, BECAUSE YOU’RE CREME BRULEE, MISTER!” and anytime he says ‘tushie’ 

brOTP - Love his friendship with Sarah, wish Jimmy with Rolf and Jonny came up more though i like those combos too 

OTP - Don’t really ship him with anyone but him and sarah if im forced to choose one

nOTP - VERY opposed to jimmy with any of the kankers

random headcanon - Passionate about my hc that he grows to be 6′2″ in senior year

unpopular opinion - 1. Gets too much hate 2. Whenever I see people dump on Jimmy it’s often attributed to If It Smells Like an Ed but honestly that episode was not that big a deal. Yeah he wen’t too far that’s the point but it didn’t make me hate him or anything lol 

song i associate with them - yknow he looks like someone who’d have Let’s have a Kiki by the scissor sisters memorized. Would also fit Fabulous from Phineas and Ferb  

favorite picture of them

[peppermintfables]

TMA Fanfic Challenge!

These titles Jonny posted pre-season 2 are too good and I wanna read them so… Im gonna organize a fanfic challenge. So heres how:

Ideally we would get one author for every prompt. If your interested in one of these contact me and Ill reserve them for you, on a first come first serve basis. You can of course still write something to a title thats already taken, Im not gonna stop you, in fact please do and send me a link so I can read it, please, but I plan on making a collection with all the entries and only the ‘official’ ones will go in there.

Once you have one reserved the fanfic should he finished and published till the end of season 5. This is to ensure that we actually get a complete collection at some point. If at some point you realize you dont want write your prompt anymore please tell me as soon as possible so o can give it to someone else. And if your finished and youve posted your fic on ao3 send me a link so I can add it to the collection!

Some of these hang together but Ill let you guys decide wether you wanna collaborate in these or just each do your own thing.

I really hope some people are interested in this because I cant wait to see what people come up with. And if youre dont want to write one please still consider sharing this. I want to read “If toes could hate” so badly.

Ill regularly update which titles have been taking. Happy writing!

[nithr]

Revelations

Summary: Post ep 4x08 It Takes a Pillage , What is the reaction of johnny to learning that d'avin didn't leave voluntarily. The look into the love between the two brothers that I wanted but didn't get.

He knew hiding in the lower parts of the ship was absolutely useless. Either dutch or d'avin would find him in no time, would probably be dutch, but after the things he learned that day he wanted some space to think things through. His life was built upon some absolute truths and if one of them was wrong then how many else would change making him lose his foundation.

The sound of the door opening made him reappear from his thoughts. Looking back he found it was dutch that had found him. D'avin may be his brother but dutch was his best friend. It was probably for the best that dutch came , she was the only thing now that he trusted absolutely.

Dutch didn't speak, she just came towards him and sat down near him such that if he wanted to he could touch her. She gave him space that he himself would give her. He continued working on Lucy not turning towards dutch, but she waited patiently. After what appeared to be minutes or an hour he didn't know, he put down the tools he was holding and just leaned into her. Her hands came around him and he found himself encircled by her. Slowly the tension he had been unaware he carried , loosened from him.

'I know meeting your father would have been bad. But I'm here , d'avin is here , talk to me johnny ,are you ok?'

She asked it as if he could say what was in his mind in one word. But it was dutch , if he cant tell it to her he might as well bury his thoughts and carry it to the grave.

'You know dutch , for approximately half my life I've loved d'avin, but the other half , I absolutely hated him. He left me you know , left me in that sad excuse of a planet with a sick mother and an absent father. That day that I learnt he left is still the worst day of my life. I was so angry , so bitter that it festered and festered until it became something ugly inside of me . I loved him but I also hated him. It made me bitter and petty you know. If only he had asked me , if he had asked me to come with him I would have. I used to dream , that d'avin would come back and took my mom and me away from there , away from my father. I used to dream but not for a very long time .

The first time he came here , with us I saw how much you both clicked and how much you liked him and I was jealous. He was was the one who ran off and when I try to form a life for myself he comes back and tries to destroy it anyway. '

Dutch who had until that point been silent opened her mouth as if to protest.

' No let me speak dutch. If I stop I dont know if I can start again. Things are different now but it wasn't then. The bitterness that I felt for him grew. And when d'avin was off the team , I knew you were hurt , I was too, but a small part of me was happy. What kind of brother, a friend am I to feel such things'

'Johnny no, its human to feel those things and I would have been the same too and you know it'

He knew dutch wouldn't keep her silence in some parts. Snorting a little he held her hand a bit tighter to make her quiet again.

'I know Dutch but that doesn't make me feel better.

D'avin had gone through terrible things in his life and sometimes I think that those would not have happened if he hadn't left . But at the same time I wouldn't have met you , so I go round and round with that thought in my head.'

He became silent, lost in the thoughts running through his head .

A had touched his face making him pay attention.

'What happened today johnny?' She asked.

And wasnt that the big question of the day.

'I learnt that I was a naive foolish little boy that was ungrateful. Did you know that our father used to praise us in the outside world and spit on us in our own home. Nothing that we did was enough. Our mom tried her best but well she had herself to take care of and then the disease happened. She wasn't spared even then . But d'avin , he tried . He turned all of our fathers attention on him so that my mother and I could be spared. It didn't always work but he used to get double the beatings for interfearing . He never complained, he would take care of us first and then him at last. It became a regular for us, to be seen with bruises. '

He knew that she had suspected of what happened to him in his Childhood but it was the first time he confirmed it. Turning to see her he found that she was already staring at him . Suddenly closing the space between them she hugged him tightly as if afraid of letting go. He closed his eyes and focused on the feel of her in his arms.

'He didn't leave dutch , he didn't. It was my father who gave him the ultimatum, jail or the military. And you want to know how that situation came to be , it was because he defended me, he lost his carefully restrained control and gave back. And all that happened to him, in the military and now, it all comes back to me doesnt it . No dont argue. Please dont . '

Seeing dutch sit back with a defiant look in her eyes he knew she definitely would argue after he finished made him chuckle a bit.

'Half my life I've been angry with him and now I dont know what to do. Do you know what I said to him when I learnt all this. I said thank you , just a thank you. He sacrificed his life for me and I just kept on reminding him that he left . He didn't even correct me. Just kept on accepting that I have a bad opinion of him. The things I've said to him, again and again , shit dutch , what do I do?' his voice was becoming hysterical at the end.

As involved as he was in what he was saying he didn't notice movement by the opened door, but dutch did. Knowing that there was only one person that could be she came to a decision.

'Jonny you can't take back any of the things you said and d'avin can't go back and inform you of all that had happened. It wasn't only on you, you know that right?'

She could see him shaking his head and she huffed out exasperatedly. She didn't know what she was going to do with these two.

' Ok enough is enough. You have moped enough for a life time . Come on sit straight and look at me. Dont look so confused johnny doesnt suit you. Now imagine that I am d'avin. And tell me everything that you want to tell him and couldn't. Come on try it '

She could see him roll his eyes but sit straighter. Letting him off to collect his thoughts her eyes wandered to the door and she could still see the shadow of him near it. Confirmed that he was there she turned to johnny again. He had his eyes closed but within a few moments opened them and stared at her.

' I'm sorry d'avin, im so sorry for all the times I've insuated that you ran away, for all the times you had to keep quiet , for all the times I was the reason you had to hurt , for all the times I've made you feel unwelcome. I'm sorry big brother, I'm sorry .

And thank you for all the times you've stayed , for all the times you've smiled inspite of the hurt I've caused, for all the times you spared me from getting hurt the same way you were. Thank you for loving me even when I didn't show it. Because yes, I love you d'avin, even when I was angry at you , I've loved you, I'm sorry d'avin, I'm sorry'

He had started to cry half way through his speech and now in the gentle hold of his best friend he threw caution to wind and let himself feel for all the lost time .

He didn't see the shadow that was beyond the door slump down , clutching the alcohol bottle he had brought with him as if it was his life line. He didn't see the tears that ran down that face or the happiest smile that bloomed, he didn't see his big brother mouth back ' I love you too johnny' to him.

He didn't need to. These three , they will be ok . As Blood brothers , best friends , lovers they will be ok.

A03 link

[masosade]

Maso’s Escape

Warnings: Contains mentions of torture, lots of blood, mentions of vomit and, obviously, violence

x-x

"Rise and shine! It's another beautiful day to get tortured, you useless bag of shit~" Alice sang as she entered into the dark, musty chamber, which smelled worse every time, she felt.

Unlike her prisoner, she was refreshed and well rested after a peaceful night in cuddling with her sweetheart. It was the first day back in the Grimdark Office after her stay ('VACATION' as Birch insisted stubbornly) at Morayne's Office, which sat quiet and undisturbed most of the time and Alice was ready to return back to business, to start anew with fresh motivation, and that meant taking out the trash first.

She kicked the limp form sitting in its chair to wake it. Its four arms were shackled to the tattered armrests and its feet, bare and bruised despite not having moved in the last months, were bound tightly to the chair's legs.

The figure reacted slowly, first flexing its hands and then lifting its head up at her, like it had just been woken from a nap. Which it wasnt — Alice had made sure Maso had been unable to sleep ever since she caught him.

Sure she could’ve just let Melissa torment him with his own personal nightmares, but nothing felt quite as bad as not being able to sleep. For months.

Any sane human would’ve broken down at that alone. But Alice prided herself in creativity when it came to cruelty, so depriving Maso of his sleep was just one in many tactics she used to utterly break his spirit.

She grabbed a handful of Maso's hair and yanked it back, forcing him to squint up at her.

"Didnt you hear my greeting?" She sneered. "It’s only polite to return it."

His eyes were unfocused, confused, bloodshot. Dark rings circled his lids both where his eyes were and where he used to have an extra pair, which had been self inflicted mutilation. He was a sad, mismatched mutation of two Stanleys brutally fused together under the name of science, and now this pitiful body only housed a broken soul. He was doomed to die alone in misery and Alice couldnt be more pleased.

Pleased because, no matter what he endured, she had suffered far worse at the hands of the god he sacrificed her to back in spring. No matter how he hurt, he had inflicted more pain on both her and her loved one. There was no room for sympathy in Alice’s eyes.

Maso’s gaze finally focused and instead of the look of fear Alice was expected, he simply grinned. It stretched slowly from one side to another, like syrup pooling reluctantly out of its glass.

"Heyyy," he croaked hoarsely. By now his vocal chords had endured torment of its own with his screams and incessant rambles followed by weeks of silence. It was awful to listen to, he sounded like rusty hinges grating on sand.

Alice's glee disappeared and she dropped his head, wiping her hand on her dress in disgust.

"What are you smiling at?" She snapped.

"Eevvvery time I look at you," Maso began, but stopped. He straightened up and flexed his hands again.

"...every time, I think about how funny it was to watch you get your ass kicked by Cipher." He finished, grinning. Impishly. A sure fire way to get Alice pissed and she would’ve smacked him across the mouth earlier, but something had distracted her.

"Whats wrong with your hand?"

"Aww, dont you remember? You cut off four of my fingers last month."

"Yes. Last month.” Alice took one of Maso's hands and pulled it up to examine it closer.

Maso's smile widened, but she didnt notice.

"It’s bleeding. It hasnt scabbed or infected or even healed in any way." The blood oozing out of the dismemembered digits wasn’t black or tainted, it didn’t even smell bad. Even if he had simply rubbing his wounds against the chair to keep it from healing, it would’ve been infected by now, surely changed into a sickly dark brown or worse, pulpy with pus.

Alice looked down and noticed a giant puddle of dark liquid pooling at their feet, soaking into her boots and what remained of Maso’s shredded clothes.

'The blood would explain why its so wet in here but...'

"But thats impossible."

The smile had changed into a big, shit eating smirk.

“If you’ve been bleeding since last month, then that would mean you wouldnt have any blood left by now. You would be a fucking husk, or dead, or—”

Alice stopped. She stared at the hand she was holding up to her face and realized with an onsetting dread that she shouldnt be able to hold his hand this high if it was shackled...to...the...chair.

Maso brought his knee up and kicked her in the stomach. She dropped his hand and stumbled, doubling over in pain. If she had anything in her stomach, she would've lost it but nothing came out as she retched and gasped for breath.

"Oohhh yesss," Maso sang, his voice suddenly a lot stronger and less hoarse than he made it out to be. He got up from his chair and stretched leisurely while Alice heaved at his feet.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that. Oh, that felt so good!"

Alice turned her head up to look at him and regretted it instantly when he kneed her in the face. A loud cra-ack filled the room and she cried out in surprise and pain as bone shattered.

Maso cackled with utter glee while Alice cradled her broken nose, blood streaming down her face and dripping onto her dress.

"Man, you don't know how often I've fantasized about beating you to a bloody pulp! I thought ol' Jonny was cruel but you give that word a whooole 'nother meaning!" He grabbed her by the hair like she had done earlier and yanked her head up.

"You know, if I were as evil as you, I would drag you the chair and do a little repeat of aaall my memorable sessions," He grinned. "Show you just how well I paid attention to your lessons. That's what they were, weren't they? Lessons to teach the bad boy how wrong he was~"

Alice spat a mouthful of blood at his feet. "Y-you couldn't-" She rasped. "They would find out- you wont get away w-with this--"

"Wanna bet?"

He leaned close and Alice flinched, expecting another hit. But he didn't strike her again, at least not the way she expected.

“Maaybe if they’re distracted..”

Maso smeared his bleeding hand across Alice's face, mixing it with her own. He laughed at her disgusted expression and let go of her hair, letting her crumble down onto the floor, right into the old pool of blood. From up close she realized she had been mistaken. It wasn't blood, or not just blood. She was sitting in water, water ran from the ceilings, from the walls...from Maso's pores.

It churned with unseen forces and the ground seemed to give way underneath her, pulling her down through the opening doorway.

"Calypso says hi," Maso purred.

Alice scrambled for halt, but her arms felt heavy and her mind was filled with paralyzing dread. It felt like it had in her time out in the Void, where she was trapped with the Creature that whispered the most awful things known to the Universe into her thoughts, filling her with despair undescribable for words.

It was coming back to get her, She lay dormant in the depths of the waters now threatening to swallow Alice whole.

The sheer panic couldn't move Alice's muscles as she pleaded for something to give her halt and keep her from sinking back into Calypso's grasp.

Maso smirked and tipped an imaginary hat at her.

"See you later...ooor maybe, see you never again! I wish you endless sufferings in your path~" He taunted and sauntered out of the door, once again leaving her to die at the hands of Calypso.

She tried to scream for help, but found her throat strung shut by the suffocating fear now coursing through her veins.

She was waiting, eagerly and there was nothing Alice could do to break free and save herself from drowning-

Just as her head dipped underneath the surface, something yanked her back, hard to knock what little air she had left out completely.

Alice hacked and coughed, trying to refill her lungs desperately. Still blind in panic, she crawled away from the hole where the water licked at her ankles, ready to drag her back in. But something had changed and only when she had collapsed, shivering, in the corner, did she realize what happened.

The necklace, the one she had made for herself and Melissa only hours prior had warmed up. The blood red gem was glowing, creating a barrier of warmth around Alice as she shivered, knees drawn to her chest. The portal seemed to hiss sinisterly but the tides couldnt reach Alice past the protective bubble and so it retreated, reluctantly, slowly, making sure Alice knew that it was going to try again, and more viciously than before.

Alice watched it retreat, not daring to blink before it had vanished completely. Only once it was gone for good, did she ease. Dizziness replaced the terror she had felt mere seconds earlier and she was just able to call for help before she collapsed, this time unconscious, onto the dirty floor.

[iamalivenow]

What if season 3 is one whole "the Eye is also evil" extravaganza and we get really juicy lore dumps about elias, gertrude and other archivists and how the beholding fucked them up

like gerry said there are no good powers only bad awful times ahead

im pretty sure we already know that the eye is evil because of the whole pipe murder, gun murder, letting michael shelly die to further their own purpose, elias apparently being on a first name basis with other avatars, the whole time to emotionally break you down thing, continued fake ignorance, doing virtually nothing to save jon from nikola the first time, having it’s own end of the world ritual called the watcher’s crown, forcing jon to relive the same nightmares over and over again, whatever other laundry list of things the eye has done to people before

like dont get me wrong the false sense of security we all get from assuming that our power is the one good one is fun and all but considering if you give a live statement to the archivist the eye owns your nightmares for all of eternity isn’t like a Good Look.

and while sure , it’s defo not the most agro of the powers and it won’t go out and terrorize people on it’s own, it’s still a power. a bottomfeeding parasitic power that absolutely sees humans as a source of food and will leech off of everyone else’s actual effort. it’s like a vulture that’s just there to strip any remaining meat off of the bone

here is extremely good quality Eye Meta if you want it

you’re right tho, if elias and gertrude weren’t already awful the eye definitely dragged them down to its level

But Also Also i agree with you if we don’t get gertrude and elias backstory in season 4 im going to riot jonny please  im begging you

[ahostandaghost]

phantasmagorical - what is your favorite fantasy involving your f/o? this can be either sfw or nsfw, but please specify.

I'm really vanilla kinky w Jonnie tbh I just love being called a good boy

Non sexually ? I love the thought of slipping my arms around his waist while he's obviously stressed and having him nuzzle into my hair and make a nice contented noise........... it's like the stress melts off of the both of us

endive - if, under the circumstance, you were able to treat your f/o to a single, beautiful day without a budget, what would it consist of?

Ideally it would be halloween. I'd have us visit Salem, visit all of the Halloween stores. Buy a ton of Halloween candy and baked goods. We'd share pumpkin spice everything. Visit old buildings that are supposed to be haunted. Visit graves. Take tours. At the end we'd share a really beautiful honeymoon suite and it may or may not get sexual based on how he feels. But i totally see him just wanting to snuggle which would be 1000% okay even for my hypersexual ass who loves him

limerance - gush about your f/o, no limits… but the catch is, gush as if its a message directly to your f/o.

You're literally so beautiful!! I love you and there's nothing wrong with you! Scarecrow too. Even if you feel like a dead boy in a Scarecrow, no matter what you're lovely. Even on days where its hard to take care of yourself, I'll help you take care of yourself. Because I know that you'd do it for me! Jesus I gotta stop im tearing up, there's only so much public gushing I can handle

au courant - describe in detail or provide an image of your favorite outfit your f/o has worn. if they only have one outfit, find, draw, or make an outfit collage online of something you’d like to see them in.

I'll get back to this when I'm back to my laptop but honestly.... I want to buy him every kind of outfit. I like to think hed let me dress him up nicely sometimes

ubiquitous - how popular is your f/o in the fandom? do you think the fandom treats them well?

Not popular enough, not well enough

foofaraw - do your chosen aesthetics line up well with your f/os? meaning, if the two of you were to say, decorate a home, would your chosen styles clash or compliment each other?

I honestly do believe our aesthetic compliment eachother in a very opposites of the same coin kind of way! I dont see us fighting about decoration at all c:

fanfaronade - what would your f/o say when bragging about you to others?

Probably how talented I am. I don't see him making something dainty of me. He'd want to tell people how strong I am, how amazing and capable ;_;

ineffable - describe your f/o in only aesthetics. you can make a moodboard, or perhaps describe them with colors, songs, scents, unique words (; no explicit or literal details, if you can help it. be indirect. paint a picture.

I'll do this when I get home !

serendipity - how did you first discover your f/o, or your f/os source material? how did you feel when you first saw your f/o in your source material? 

I was a wee lad. I don't remember when my crush on him developed specifically. I remember watching the animated series as a kid and I thought he was cute ;;

Oh i guess I forgot to copy and paste all of this into the answer asdfghjkl anyway @eboysimon thang u

[lazorsandparadox]

I just finished season 3 of the magnus archives and here are some thoughts before i start season 4:

- theres no way dasiys dead, if she was it sounds like jon wouldnt be able to explore her dream and also people keep making it seem like daisy becomes a hunter and that hasnt happened yet unless its a read between the lines thing. Why even imply shes dead if youve already established a thing that means shes probably not? Was it not supposed to be implied that daisy is dead but rather just missing?

-peter lukas doesnt seem like an eye avatar, but he DOES seem like a lonely avatar based on the fact that he makes everyone disappear when hes around and also because hes a boat captain, and im excited if this is the case because we havent seen very much of the lonely at all, and if hes a lonely avatar that means itll definitely get explored

- if hes not a lonely avatar then hes gotta be a vast avatar just please dont let this man be an eye avatar, thats not as interesting

- if martin does not get to go off this season, jonny sims owes me $12, let this man get bad

- everyone keeps calling jon feral and, other than his paranoid stalker phase - which wasnt even all that feral because the worst thing he planned to do was turn someone over to the cops - ive yet to see anything even remotely suggesting thats an accurate statement for three whole seasons, so unless jon wakes up from his coma and immediately starts murdering people, all of you owe me $12 each for leading me on

- the fact that basira is the only one who made it out of the unknowing unscathed because she realized she could just leave and then literally walked away is the best thing ive ever heard. Like there were so many things going on and so many entities there that could have gone after her - and did go after the rest of the gang! - but nothing stopped her. They just let her walk out the front door and leave. Thats fucking hilarious.

- i already know elias is some form of body snatched by jonah magnus, that was spoiled for me before i even started listening to the podcast, so im unfortunately not gonna get to experience the shock of the reveal, but im still excited to learn the details of that whole situation. Really hope it turns out elias had, like, an actual real person personality before he got soul-evicted

[chiakibutblack]

I hate mondays

Pookey, cover me. I'm going in.

Sleeping beauty, wake up

You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here now

Just wake up

You've got work to do. You're not just my owner...

...you're my primary care giver

Not now, Garfield

Alright, cut the sweet... easy now.

Trying to cuddle with me, huh?

Trying to avoid your duties, huh?

Well that just ain't gonna fly!

See, I'm doing my exercise, doing my job.

Just one quick CANNONBALL

- Good morning - Garfield!

OK, I think you're clean enough now.

Got your towel right here.

No, Garfield!

It's liver flavoured.

MMM Delicious.

Ugh, Liver!

Actually, it's liver 'flavoured'.

That was good breakfast. Now I think I'll fall off the Catkins diet

and get myself a little high fat chaser.

Garfield, look, the milk truck!

Oh, thatta boy Nermal. The milk truck comes every day.

Maybe not today. Maybe it's changing routes? Maybe this will be the last we'll ever see of him?

We're cats,we like milk. Let's go for it.

- No. - But...

But nothing. I don't leave the cul-de-sac for anything.

Out there it's a hornet's nest of trouble. Bad things happen out there, so I don't go out there.

Besides,I've found, if you wait long enough. Everything comes to you.

Here come the milk man. Here come the milk man.

Hey, Nermal. Let's play Astronaut again today.

- Yeah? - Yeah, I love that game

- You're such a brave little Astronaut - Alright

Prepare to jump into your spaceship, Commander Nermal.

Whoa, whoa! What about the milk?

Who needs milk when you can be in outer space?

- We've got a secret mission today. - Yeah?

You'll be exploring the Milky Way.

I get the chills when you jump in your little spacecraft.

The nation thanks you. Prepare to blast off!

Three, two, one!

Bon Voyage!

Look at me go!

Don't look down!

- Come to papa, baby - I can see everything up here

I can see my house!

Got Milk?

I can see the whole neighbourhood!

Well that's nice. That's very nice.

Hey, another milk truck!

Ooh, and that is even nicer.

I can see a whole......

Mission accomplished, Nermal

Whoa, Garfield. Do it again! Where did everybody go?

You're on the wrong side of the street, Fat Cat... beat it!

And you Luca are on the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.

Ok, that's it. You're gonna get it good today.

I make a point to get it good every day.

The real question is, Luca: How shall I outwit you this time?

- With simple maths? - I know how to spell.

- Or shall I distract you with something shiny? - Now you're making fun of me.

I hope so, you're no fun to look at.

You'll never get the best of me....

I think I just did.

Not the ducks again.

Jump back! and kiss my skin.

If I ever get off this chain, you're going down.

Everybody back up! I dont know how wild this thing's gonna get.

I love the smell of cinnamon apple in the morning.

- Smells like victory. - I hate this fat cat.

So much time, and so little I need to do.

Mouse!

No thanks, I'm full.

Get him, Garfield

Get him, Jon

Always gotta be smashing and crashing.

Nobody poisons anymore.

There's my ball.

What good is a cat, that can't chase a mouse?

I don't do the chase thing.

I know you don't hear me. But can't you just listen?

Louis, what are you doing in the house when Jon's home.

Sorry Garfield, man I couldn't help it.

Look, when he sees you he expects more from me. Don't you get that?

Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies, I'm trying to maintain.

- You understand? - Sure, as long as you understand...

that I have to eat you.

Good boy! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it.

You're the best cat a guy could have.

Have you tasted yourself lately?

Hey, it wasn't exactly the first-class lounge in there for me either.

Get yourself lost, Louis. Take a powder for a couple of days, get a haircut and grow a beard.

Cool, I owe you one G

<< I've got a question for you. >>

<< Do you love your Cat? >>

Finally, back on my regular schedule.

<< Make sure he has nothing but Kibbly Kat food >>

That cat's puss is everwhere. TV, newspapers, t-shirts

I wouldn't want that kind of exposure (!)

- Hey buddy - Cut the small talk

What's in the bag?

<< Remember: Be Happy >>

I'm happy when I'm with you

You delicate melange of tomato paste, cheese, ground meat and pasta!

Garfield, don't even think about it.

That's my food.

I may just nibble.

<< Thanks Happy, and thank you for joining us >> << I'm Christopher Mello, remember: Be Happy >>

Cut!

Give me the Benadril!

Damned cat allergies

Any word from the network yet?

No, but they're looking for a dog-act on Good Day New York.

Dog act! Story of my life: Looking for a dog, and I'm stuck with a cat

- But the segment went quite well - "But the segment went quite well"

Of course it went well, you toad.

The fifty housewives who saw it, loved it.

<< This is Walter J Chapman, reporting live from the Hague >>

Oh, please. What a know-it-all.

And everybody always said I was the handsome one.

I was the smart one

And I was born first.

But there you are, "live from the Hague", and I'm here working with this sack of dander

on a dead-end regional morning show.

<< Back to you, Dan >>

Garfield!

Did you eat all four boxes of Lasagne?

It's not my fault. They started it.

What am I going to do with you?

Love me, feed me, never leave me.

Let's go for a ride to some place you love that always leaves you feeling pampered and refreshed.

Oh I know, Chucky Cheese

Thank you!

No, Wendys?

Taco kitty?

Well I'm stumped. Maybe olive garden, for you?

The only time I leave my cul-de-sac is when Jon takes me to the Vet.

Which he's been doing a lot recently. And it appears to have nothing to do with me.

Jon must want to go for his own reason.

Well, there's nothing wrong with Garfield

He's just a happy, fat, lazy cat.

No need for a second opinion.

- I worry about him. - I know you do.

Y'know, you care about him more than any owner I've ever known.

'Him' has a name. Is this an HMO?

Let's get Garfield in for his dip, I wanna talk to you, in private.

She's so beautiful.

Mr Pathetic, you've had a crush on her since High-School.

Will you please ask her out so she can reject you, and we can get on with my life?

I have to ask her out.

- Wish me luck - Ok, go get 'em big tiger

You the man, you the fella, you the boss

You preach to her, show her how the co... you hopeless loser...

Betty how about today you start me off with a Swedish massage, a manicure and a pedicure

Seaweed wrap, loofa, belly rub, tail waxing...

...then crack my toes to finish.

Jon, there's something important I need to ask you.

Something I wouldn't ask most of the guys who come in here.

No, wait. I think I know where this is going.

You do?

I do!

Liz, I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a very long time.

Are you sure we're talking about the same thing?

Absolutely

I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life

Liz, I'm ready to take a chance.

I'm ready for...

Thank you

A dog?

A dog, I'm ready for a dog.

I think he likes you.

Frisky little fella, isn't he

His name's Odie, and he's not going to make it if he has to live his life in a cage

He needs to be loved.

Well thank you, thank you very much Ladies and Gentlemen

Nah, maybe not in my neighbourhood

Hey, homer, I really gotta run

Gotta fly everybody, please, stay behind the security fence.

It's so great of you to come out and see me.

But I've got somebody waiting for me, very devoted. Almost crippled.

No, please, don't cry. I know what it's like to be unloved.

Well, you do.

I'll try to come back and visit. And if I don't, I'll try to write. Bye bye

Does anybody know this guy?

Goodbye everybody - Garfield is leaving the building.

Jon, you know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

No, no. It's okay.

Some part of me has always wanted to know what it's like to have a pet that actually wants to play with you.

You're a good friend.

One question: Am I still gorgeous?

Jon, I think we've got a little problem here.

Jon...

I want you to know I can help the transition go smoothly.

Jon, it's in my seat!

Jon...

We could all go out together.

Park, dog-shows.

Stuff like that

- Jon... - Wait a minute,

are you asking me out?

Jonny-boy, the time has come to get a car-alarm!

You're not gonna believe it! A mongrel-mutt has broken into your car.

Garfield, this is Odie. He's coming home with us.

Whoa: you went in there to get a date, and came out with a dog?

Well that's bad even for you.

Oh you're so sad. Oh no no no... We're not bringing a dog home with us.

Hey, I ride shot-gun! What are you lookin' at, tick-boy?

Jon, it's not too late. Quickly, turn around, before he finds out where we live!

Please take this trouser-sniffer back!

Come on Odie

This is your new home.

Come on Buddy

Jon...

You had me, a chick-magnet. And now you got a tick-magnet.

Garfield, Jon brought a dog home.

I am aware, Nermal.

Why would he do a thing like that?

Gee, I don't know, Nermal.

It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.

Can we drop it? I mean, it's no big deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.

A dimwitted, smelly, goofy splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.

Come on!

As you can see, I'm still Jon's favourite.

See you later, Garfield.

Good luck with the bug thing

This is payback for the liver thing, isn't it? Payback, ha ha ha

This is your new home Odie.

That's my office over there.

The TV over there.

The kitchen.

Go see the house.

Why don't you draw him a map?

Ok, I've got to remain calm, that's all

Jon's a cat-guy, not a dog-guy

This'll last a week, maybe ten days. Tops.

Boy this puppy is stupid gone wild

Nah, this is just a bad dream. I'm going to close my eyes

and when I open them, everything will be back to normal.

Nyagh! That's not normal.

Not close.

Oh great, dog-cooties. Somebody innoculate me please?

This is a nightmare. I just need a little quality time

with man's real best friend.

Television.

No, no. no.

[celtfather]

Irish Kisses in Twenty Twenty #442

Kiss me I'm Irish in 2020 with the Irish & Celtic Music Podcast. Subscribe and listen!

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VOTE IN THE CELTIC TOP 20 This is our way of finding the best songs and artists each year. Just list the show number, and the name of as many bands in the episode as you like. Your vote helps me create next year's Best Celtic music of 2020 episode.  Vote Now!

THIS WEEK IN CELTIC MUSIC

0:04 - "Cottage in the Grove / The Curlew / Farewell to Ireland" by Warbelow Range from Warbelow Range

4:37 - WELCOME

6:06 - "The Blacksmith" by Serious Kitchen from "Tig"

10:46 - "Last Beautiful Loneliness" by Poitin from Simple Pleasures

15:22 - "Ireland In Your Eyes" by The Gleasons from Let It Go

18:20 - "The Peacock's Head" by The Here & Now from The Winding Stair

22:08 - CELTIC FEEDBACK

26:14 - "Two Red Roses" by Vicki Swan & Jonny Dyer from Twelve Months & A Day

31:30 - "Silver Thaw" by Kyle Gryphon from Isolation

34:16 - "Oft in the Stilly Night" by Catherine Koehler from Shan-a-Key

36:31 - "New Married Couple" by Matt & Shannon Heaton from Lover's Well

39:52 - CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

42:31 - "Hart of Ten" by Old Man Flanagan's Ghost from Far From Shore

45:55 - "The Merry Misadventures of Sister Mary Margaret" by Clover's Revenge from Truants and Absolution

49:52 - "Old Scotland" by Hugh Morrison from The Other Side

54:07 - "Giant" by SeaStar from Never Go Back

58:26 - CLOSING

59:59 - "Irish Kisses (Kiss Me, I'm Irish)" by Hurricane Kevin

The Irish & Celtic Music Podcast was produced by Marc Gunn, The Celtfather. To subscribe, go to Apple Podcasts or to our website where you can become a Patron of the Podcast for as little as $1 per episode. Promote Celtic culture through music at http://celticmusicpodcast.com/.

  CELTIC PODCAST NEWS

* Helping you celebrate Celtic culture through music. My name is Marc Gunn. I am a Celtic musician and podcaster. This show is dedicated to the indie Celtic musicians. Please support these artists. Share the show with your friends. And find more episodes at celticmusicpodcast.com. You can also support this podcast on Patreon.

Did you know about the Irish & Celtic Music Club on Facebook. This a group where you can interact with other fans of the podcast. Share your music, videos, links and news so everyone can enjoy more Celtic culture through music.

TRAVEL WITH CELTIC INVASION VACATIONS Every year, I take a small group of Celtic music fans on the relaxing adventure of a lifetime. We don't see everything. Instead, we stay in one area. We get to know the region through its culture, history, and legends. You can join us with an auditory and visual adventure through podcasts and videos. Learn more about the invasion at http://celticinvasion.com/

I still have space in 2020 for the Celtic Invasion of Italy. It’s gonna be monumental. You don’t want to miss it!

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I want to send a special thanks to our Celtic Legends. These amazing people pledge $25 or more per month to keep this podcast coming out every week. Thank you to Annie Lorkowski, Carol Baril, Hank Woodward, Kevin Long, Lynda MacNeil, Marianne Ludwig, Miranda Nelson, Nancie Barnett, Patricia Conner, Robert Michael Kane, Scott Benson, Shawn Cali, Tiffany Knight

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  I WANT YOUR FEEDBACK

What are you doing today while listening to the podcast? You can send a written comment along with a picture of what you're doing while listening. Email a voicemail message to celticpodcast@gmail.com

joylene emailed: "Knitting. I’m of Italian and Austrian background. I just like Celtic music. I started listening when you were Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers. I have a second cousin who plays bagpipes in a Celtic band in Pgh PA. He’s Italian and Polish and Armenian."

Joseph Rosenthal emailed a photo: "Working while organizing files. Just started listening recently and love hearing the stuff you put out for me to get through the day .Despite the red hair, I'm only 10 percent Irish, but my mother clings to that 10 percent and I can appreciate it on my own too. Keep it up!"

Tom Cochran emailed: "Hi Mark, Tom C from the highlands of western Colorado. Just recently found your podcast from a post on my Clan’s Facebook page. Have listened to several now and find the diversity of music refreshing and matching my own musical tastes which are eclectic. I enjoy everything from classical, to musical theatre, classic rock, folk, and of course Celtic music in its many forms. My wife and I along with son Brendan and friend Jonathan make up Oran Mor. We have been playing a lot these past few months locally and are planning our first recording in the coming year. As a long time theatre geek ( presently directing  Conor McPhearson’s Irish Drama “The Veil”) I am new to the music business.

So I would appreciate any advice. You can check out our web page at oranmormusic.com. Favorite influences include, Dougie McIean, Runrig, Battlefield Band, Old Blind Dogs, Silly Wizard, Albannach, The Elders and the Chieftains. I am really liking the new groups your show is turning me onto; new fave Runa. I look forward to many hours of great music. Keep up the good work."

Junya emailed: "hi. im from Japan. im a very casual listener, and i dont have the habit of checking the song titles and artists names, so i have no knowledge, but have been listening to your podcast for, probably more than 10 years. i felt like listening to such music in Christmas time in December, over 10years ago, (im not Christian and l am japanese living in Japan, so i dont have a chance to experience the Westerners' christmas festivity, but i always long to join their Christmas mood) and tried searching, then your website was the top result. somehow irish and celtic music sounds very nice to me even though im not a fan of any ethnic type of music very much.

the song i liked from this Halloween podcast was The Rogue's Hellbound Sleigh, with the club music like beautiful and cool elements mixed in."

Pompeii

Emerald

  Check out this episode!

[veeshthefrog]

Ep.5

My anxiety is at an all time high seeing Hop get stuck inside. ALSO, WHERE THE FUCK IS STEVE DURING THIS NANCY AND JONATHAN GETAWAY? And Will, my poor baby boy, he’s so stuck. He can’t sleep, and my other boy Mike is being the great friend I know he is, sleeping over. HOP GET UP YOU CAN DO IT, don’t die don’t die dontdiedontdiedontdie, please. Be careful, El needs you. On a brighter note, at least my homeboy Lucas is tryna give my hon Max that apology. Dustin, he’s so good with his mom, poor momma, and TELL ME HES GONNA KILL THE DEMAGORAN. PLEASE, DONT LET HIM GET HURT; FUCKIN DUFFER BROTHERS LET THE DEMAGORGAN DIE IN HELL IDGAF IF DART LIKED NOUGAT. “I’m sorry. You ate my cat.” Classic Dustin quote. Sweet El, leaving the house, please be careful. YAS HONEY OPEN THAT DOOR LIKE THE BADASS BITCH YOU ARE! Aw the poor woman’s scared half to death. Momma please see El/Jane. What crazy ass shit is dealing w/ Nancy and Jonny boy...she callin him out, go babe. Max please avoid the fucktard at all costs 😣LUCAS YOU DIDNT YOU LIL CHARMER YOU. The blue, it’s like the next Christmas lights. Oh no Bob’s home, how’s she gonna get out of this??? Poor innocent bby. He looks so confused. “Hmm.” “What’s the problem exactly...?” *casual shrug*. BOB YOU FUCKIN GENIUS. “It’s a map”, it’s like the next “It’s a clock” from THG. What fresh hell is Cop Hop getting himself into... GUYS RESPOND TO DUSTIN AND PRECIOUS ERIKA, WHILE I LOVE IT THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SASSY. El just wants her momma 😭 this lady is so sweet and understanding like fuck, she’s so nice. Home. She’s seeing what she never got to have. Pretty. The lights. Oh my god, momma has abilities too. “Son of a bitch you know you’re really no help at all” YASSSS GO DUSTIN. “Do you still have that bat? The one with the nails?” IM LOVIN MA BBY DUSTIN. Hop don’t die please, be careful, NO NO NO IT WENT WRONG SO QUICKLY HOPPER NO. Max turn the volume down please 😣 oh no he’s here, please be careful Max. And back to Nance and Jonny boy. This guy’s insane. But he’s cool. I think. He’s right, about the curtains and Them with a capital T. Even though he’s insane. They’re smart. I like. Wait is that Zeke from Minute Men? And holy shit those tubes are so similar. “Stop talking”, damn El’s got teeth. Oh there was so much blood, they took bby El away. Badass Momma went in with a gun to shoot an asshat. RAINBOW, BBY JANE ABD ANOTHER GIRL HOLY FUCK. 450 😱 they made her brain dead. It was their fault. Those bastards. They made her this way. El, poor El, and the mom’s sister, oh my goodness. Honestly, Bob’s a champ, he’s doing all of this for her even though he had absolutely no idea what’s going on. CLOSE YOUR BREATHING DONT DIE BUT SAVE HOPPER. “We’re actually inside will’s map” he’s FLIPPING OUT. Oh no oh no oh no fuCKIN HAWKINS LAB STAY OUT OF THIS. YES CUT HIM OHT SAVE HIM PLEASE. “Hey Bob”, “Hey Jim”. OH NO NO NO NO BY KILLING IT THEY KILL WILL NO NO NO, that’s the most eerie thing I’ve seen in a long time.