#dot tries to liveblog

[coffeesforcatchers]

IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TALIESIN PC WHO GOT THEMSELVES KILLED I BETTER NOT HAVE TWO NICKELS

[vaguely-concerned]

that last scene in fatal journey where nie huaisang has to support nie mingjue for him to keep upright, harrowhark's arc in harrow the ninth*, and the 'O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven/Keep me in temper: I would not be mad' line from king lear all break my heart in exactly the same way. that precise thread of the ultimate, hopeless vulnerability and confusion that's at the heart of madness -- of realizing in glimpses that you won't even realize how far you've drifted from yourself and that you don't know how to stop it, you can't stop it. that's such a core part of nie mingjue to me, and I don't feel like I've seen a lot of real discussion around it considering how central I think it is to his character.

*also like harrow, nie mingjue is both 'mad' (im mentally ill. I'm reclaiming it. sometimes that does feel like exactly the right word for it) and also like. severely haunted. by a sword even lmao. they've even got the 'crushing weight of shouldering the responsibility of their entire house given to them at way too early an age under horrifically traumatizing circumstances' same hat/same hat! thing going on here. omg. nie mingjue is like if harrow was a big sensitive jock who cries at the drop of a hat and harrow is like if nie mingjue was a small wet ratwoman who does bones and catholic guilt. but the core is basically the same. I can't believe I'm right about this.

[daz4i]

you ever met a guy so dumb and talentless he couldn't even cut himself right?

[ryniadora]

More DA:O liveblogging (ish). Adventures in Lothering!

Lena ignored her misgivings and made her way into town. Much to both Alistair and Morrigan's dismay, she insisted upon stopping to help lost children and effectively tried to solve the problems of the entire village by herself.

After the fifth time she gave money to a refugee family, Alistair firmly took her aside and gently insisted that she stop doing that before they ran out of money to feed themselves.

"It's really nice Lena, don't get me wrong. But there's such a thing as too nice, you know?" "They need the money, Alistair. That child was as thin as a rake." "Look, it's very endearing that you want to help everyone but we really can't. Just promise me you'll check with me before you agree to help someone else, deal?" "I suppose so. You're the one with the street smarts in this team." A derisive snort from Morrigan cut that particular conversation short.

After finding out that Arl Eamon was sick with an incurable illness, Lena suggested they drop by the Circle - maybe the mages there might know a cure if traditional healing had failed? Alistair agreed that they could go that way en route to Redcliffe and kill two birds with one stone.

On their way out of the village, Lena's natural curiosity led her to drag the others into the tavern after she heard raised voices. They entered only to be confronted by men claiming to work for Loghain, swords bared. Lena begged them to stand down, aided by a Chantry sister that was also present, but no matter how she pleaded they were determined to fight - it was only when one swiped at her that Lena relented and fought back.

After the fight, the lay sister introduced herself as Leliana. Lena was very confused by the other redhead - her talk of visions and hearing the Maker's voice was slightly alarming. Once again ignoring the voice of reason from her companions, Lena graciously accepted Leliana's offer of help.

"More crazy? I thought we were full up." "We need all the allies we can get, don't we? Besides, having the Maker on our side is win-win, surely!"

Just as they were about to leave Lothering behind them, Lena spotted a tall man, held in a cage by the village gates. Horrified, and despite Morrigan trying to drag her forcibly away by the arm, Lena ran up to the man and asked him what he had done to deserve being left for the darkspawn, helpless.

She'd never seen a qunari before, so didn't connect the dots at first. Listening to his story, she declared that no matter what he had done, being left to the darkspawn was too cruel a punishment for anyone. Leaving everyone behind with instructions to guard him, Lena darted back to the Chantry and appealed to the Revered Mother for leniency. Her genuine compassion and earnest expression softened the Mother's heart, and she agreed to give Lena the key, as long as she didn't say where she got it.

Almost before the others had recovered from her sudden disappearance, she reappeared with a broad grin on her face and a key in her hand. After making Sten, for that was the qunari's name, agree to aid them against the Blight the group left Lothering behind and began the long trip to the north of Ferelden. Several weeks of travel loomed large in their future, but Lena didn't mind. She could ask Alistair for more stories of the Wardens.

He didn't need to know it was just because she liked listening to him speaking.

[lampmanliveblogs]

You can actually see raine blowing/whistling on their tea back during the parade, confirming it was all an act in their behalf. And I love that darius predicated raine's response to their doll and info well enough to have it carry a responsive note in advance

When I was doing my liveblog of Follies at the Coven Day Parade, someone in the comments did point out to me that Raine was whistling when they blew on their tea, which I at the time took as just being a cool little detail, since, you know, bards and music. But no, that was so I could connect the dots... which took a little longer than it should've.

It seems like Darius has tried to convince Raine that they need to use Eda to stop the Day of Unity. So he gave his little abomination the note in the vain hope that Raine might've changed their mind.

[superskaian]

yeah that fucks. okay music interlude over meow

[frogndtoad]

GREENHOUSES ON THE MOON

[reynie-muldoons]

'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

[thebibliomancer]

Tides of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 7

Tides of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because I need to get back into it. Being on a trip really kicked me off my momentum. Something about a boat? Some Gelfling?

Last times on book: Amri, Kylan, Tavra, Naia, and new party member Onica set sail on a quest from Aughra and/or the Crystal to unite all the Gelfling clans in resistance to the Skeksis. Presuming the Vapra good and united thanks to the All-Maudra claiming support, the group heads to Cera-Na next to appeal to the Sifa Madura Ethri. On the way, Amri learns some swording and Kylan learns some sailing. A good time is had by all except for all the hurt feelings.

Chapter 7

Amri and co meet with Maudra Ethri but don’t quite get the response they’re hoping for.

"Though Sifa ships may sail alone for many trine at a time, we always return here... and when Omerya is in port, we are all home again,” Onica explained ass he brought them into port and tied the ship to one of the many white coral spires rising from the coastal floor.

Love it. Love the lore. Love the description later of Cera-Na being a forever changing city of ships depending on which ones are at port.

Love the description of the Sifa “looking like wind and fire” due to their red hair sometimes streaked with black or blue or turquoise.

And I love Amri realizing that the Sifa also welcomed Gelfling from other clans as well and recognizing attributes of Spriton or Drenchen or Vapra.

“That is the beauty of Cera-Na, and Sifa tradition. We are bound together not by blood or by the confines of the earth. We are bound together by heart and by the changing wind. If the prophecies and signs say one must become Sifa, one does. We accept that.”

Given that its an explicit trait of the Sifa, I wonder how the other clans view intermarriage. In the comics Mayrin married a Sifa. In the books, Tavra is totally dating one to her mother’s disapproval. Kylan is of mixed Spriton and Stonewood heritage.

Would Rian have faced resistance from her family if Mira hadn’t exploded into goo?

We’re getting descriptions of Gelfling who have heritage in multiple clans like its an unusual thing so I guess the clans marry internally as a matter of course. Castle guarding is an unusual situation that would expose Gelfling to those from other clans. The Sifa interact with a lot of clans due to traveling around.

Anyway.

They run into an old friend of Onica’s, Tae, “a freckled Sifa with golden-red hair” (gosh she sounds pretty) and they get to chatting. Even though Tavra has been hanging in Onica’s hair and whispering to her this entire time, she doesn’t pipe up or identify herself when Tae gives Onica her condolences over what they heard happened to Tavra.

Onica tells Tae that she needs to speak to Maudra Ethri and Tae says she’ll try to arrange it but warns that Ethri has been preoccupied with a dot dot dot guest and with a thief on the loose.

Man, this feels exactly like rolling into town and getting hit by a whole bunch of sidequests all of a sudden. I really wish there was an open world Dark Crystal RPG. Choose a clan to start with to get a neat clan perk, that sort of thing. Alas.

Tae and Onica turn away from the group to have a whispered exchange, annoying Naia greatly, and then Tae scampers up into the Omerya.

She then waves them inside and they follow her through the maze of passageways up to the deck. Despite the unfamiliar surroundings, Amri is reminded of Domrak and sees a hearth, thinking to himself thats the common thing between all Gelfling clans, that their center is the hearth before noticing that the hearth is cold and hasn’t had a fire in a long time.

Hmm.

A Sifa came striding from an exit across the deck, every step jangling with metal chimes and bells. She had wild, dark crimson-and-black hair, accented with glittering beads and copper wire, ears strung with gemstone earrings. One of her green eyes sparkled more than the other, catching the light like a stone.

“Gem-Eyed Ethri,” Tae said with a curt bow. “Maudra to the Sifa of Cera-Na.”

She also sounds pretty.

Ethri surprises the non-Onicas by being so young, being the same age as Onica and having grown up with her. And also that her very sparkly eye is actually a gemstone jammed into her head. I guess Gem-Eyed isn’t just figurative language. And if you’re going to need a false eye anyway why not go for the glitter?

The maudra asks what they need to talk to her about and after confirming that Ethri has seen the plot recap flower petals, Naia bluntly asks if the Sifa will join them.

“Join you?” the Sifa maudra asked, as if she didn’t understand the question.

Naia frowned, taken aback. “If you don’t believe us...”

“I believed the instant I saw the dream stitched in the pink petals. But you’re asking me to pledge myself to... what, you? To Aughra and Thra? If I agree to join you, who am I even joining? How will we know when the time is right - is it you who will tell us? Is this a war or an idea?”

Huh. The unite the clans thing is a little short on details actually, yeah.

Amri feels like Maudra Ethri is laughing at them and is about to get confrontational when Onica tells Ethri that its all true, that she saw the dream herself, that Aughra gave them the mission, and that the All-Maudra is on board.

But Ethri says Doubt. Hey if you have the Vapra, why do you need me? And if its so important why didn’t Aughra ask her directly? So this unitification thing is nice and all but Ethri is just going to go do what’s best for the Sifa and the other clans can do whats best for themselves too.

“Be assured?” Amri cried. He bit his lip, trying not to speak out of turn, but he couldn’t help himself. “The Skeksis are eating our people. That’s the long and short of it! Devouring us like moss from the cave wall!”

Ethri waves off his outburst and tells them that she has to get back to her important guest. She dismisses the group, tells them that they can spend as much time as they like in Cera-Na before they dash off to try to convince another maudra, and then asks Onica to stay behind for a word.

Onica tells them to go on ahead, that this isn’t the Ethri she knew and that she’ll try talking to her. An apologetic Tae reappears to show them out.

After the group minus Onica is alone, Tavra finally shows herself (having been transferred to POV Amri when the group was leaving).

Amri asks why she’s been hiding and Tavra replies simply “I don’t want people to know.” Whatever emotion or motive attached to that hidden beneath her usual Tavra stoicism.

Tavra tells the three to return to Onica’s ship and wait there while she sneaks aboad the Omerya and tries to spy out who Ethri’s mysterious guest is. Then in the morning, they’re going to force Ethri to commit to the united Gelfling.

“Force her!” Naia exclaimed, surprised and impressed. “How?”

“You’re not the only one whose mother is maudra. There is a reason the Vapra have led the seven clans since the rise of the Skeksis rule.”

So, look, that sounds like you’re going to try to pull rank on her which I feel is going to go not how you’d prefer.

Anyway, she tells them to stay out of trouble while she’s gone but she should know better by now. When has this group ever listened to her about staying out of trouble? The instant she’s gone, Amri suggests going to the beach (mostly because he’d prefer to be on solid ground instead of a ship).

Amri gestured, away from the Omerya and Onica’s ship. “I think we should do what all good Gelfling do when something strange is afoot in a strange land. Seek answers.”

Naia grinned in agreement. Apparently she wasn’t eager to retire to the ship, either.

“Great,” she said, leading the way. “Let’s find ourselves some trouble.”

See?

Tavra’d be better off instead just point blank asking them what they plan to do instead of listening to her. That way she’ll know where to find them later.

[ieatmypizzawithaforkandknife]

MAG 018 - The Man Upstairs

Summary: Jonathan reads the statement of Christof Rudenko, regarding “his interactions with a first-floor resident of Welbeck House, Wandsworth.”

Obligatory confession of American confusion: This episode is about 23 minutes long, and it took me until somewhere around the 20-minute mark before I had my light-bulb moment about Toby Carlisle being a “first-floor resident”. By “first floor” he means “SECOND floor” in American speak. Yes, that’s right - I spent almost the entire episode confused about which floor this guy really lived on. (For anyone not in the know, in the U.S. the “first floor” is the floor that you walk into a building on, that you don’t use any steps or stairs to access. It is also called the ground floor - they are the same thing. If you go up one flight of stairs, you are now on the second floor, not the first.)

The first-floor-second-floor thing was pretty much the only mystery I solved this episode though. I definitely enjoyed the episode (despite feeling like throwing up myself at some of the descriptions), but as with most of the episodes, I’m left with far more questions and tantalizing clues than actual answers.

Christof describes the odd, unpleasant odor around Toby Carlisle as “halfway between the smell of the pavement after a rain on a hot day and chicken that’s starting to turn”. The second part of that makes sense, given the state of Toby’s apartment when Christof enters it at the end, but I’m having trouble placing what exactly that first part is supposed to smell like. More interesting to me though is the fact that the smell was already there when Christof moved in, even though the banging from Toby’s apartment didn’t start until almost two years later. It seems reasonable to assume the banging was Toby nailing the various meats to the walls, floor, ceiling, etc., but if that’s the case, then where was that smell coming from for the years prior to that? Did it originate with Toby himself, or did his excess meat problem cause the smell long before he actually started nailing them to the walls?

When Christof returned the incorrectly delivered package to Toby’s apartment, we get possibly the most detailed description of any part of Toby in the entire episode: “The hand was thin and pale, with long, filthy yellow fingernails. On the back, I saw a single dark red mark that might have been a cut or a lesion, but it was gone before I had a chance to see it in more detail.” The “single dark red mark” is likely the beginning of the “puckered, septic lesions and holes” Christof sees in Toby’s dead face at the end of the episode (some part of me wants to say it reminds me of Jared Key’s eye tattoos from episode 12...but I’m trying to ignore that possibility), but the fingernails are what really piqued my interest. Christof tells himself for most of the episode that Toby just has a severe hygiene issue, but if it was straight-up uncleanliness, his fingernails would be primarily brown or black, caked with dirt or grime, that sort of thing. Instead, they are yellow more than anything else. This is the first of five mentions of the color yellow in this episode - the second is the color of the growing stain on Christof’s dining room ceiling, the third is the color of the liquid that oozes out of the hole in the ceiling after it collapses, the fourth is the color of the rotting meat covering Toby’s apartment, and the fifth is the color of the “fluid” that “oozed” from the creepy af pile of meat in Toby’s kitchen. The similarity in the colors indicates a direct connection between Toby himself (that is, his body) and the rotten meat. But the pieces of meat that lined his apartment were, in Christof’s estimation, pieces of various non-human animals - so if we take him at his word, the rotten meat wasn’t literally from Toby, so something external caused both Toby and the meat to excrete that sickly yellow rot.

So what made it target or infect Toby? No clue, since we don’t have any background on him, but I sure hope it wasn’t done by touch alone: Christof got some of that yellow slime on his jacket sleeve when Toby snatched the package from him. He said he couldn’t get rid of the smell and eventually threw the jacket out - but then he accidentally touched the stuff while fumbling for the light switch in Toby’s apartment at the end. When they followed up with him, he said “he had had no further experiences he believed to be linked to these events” and I don’t have any specific reason to disbelieve that - except that that means Toby wasn’t infected by just touching the wrong thing (or person). This isn’t a Jane Prentiss-type infection. So what’s Toby’s story?

And just what was in that package? “The envelope was thick and soft - it must have been mainly full of bubble wrap or other packing material.” So...it wasn’t meat? Because that would have been two puzzle pieces fitting together quite nicely, canceling each other out, and I’m more than a little irked that that wasn’t the case. It’s like Jonathan said at the end: “Where was he getting the meat?” At first, the sheer quantity of meat reminded me, vaguely, of the bag of teeth from episode 5. Both were a multitude of body parts. But those teeth were human and the meat is (apparently) from animals, and all the teeth were identical, whereas these meats are all different cuts from different animals. Notably, they’re all animals that are typically eaten by humans - Christof mentions steaks, chicken, and lamb among them. This seems to be more of that theme of rotten food, although in this case I think the “rotten” is more important than the “food”.

Despite all these questions I have, none of these things are directly harmful. Sure, Christof’s ceiling caves in, but no one besides Toby dies or gets hurt (that we know of). But that pile at the end...I got some Seriously Bad Vibes from that. To recap, Christof found in Toby’s kitchen “a pile of discarded meat and bone stacked almost as high as a person. It seemed almost less decayed than the rest of it, though that foul yellow fluid oozed from it, and…when I looked at that heaped pile of meat…it moved. I don’t know how - I don’t know quite how to explain it, other than it opened its eyes. It opened all its eyes. The next thing I remember is the police’s arrival” - and then suddenly the pile of meat was gone. There are two things here - inherently connected, I’m sure - that I’d like to point out.

First is the eyes. Creepy or out-of-place eyes have been mentioned every few episodes so far in the series: in the painting on Mary Key’s wall in episode 4, in Wilfred Owen’s death in episode 7, in the eye pendants in episode 9, in Jared Key’s eye tattoos in episode 12 (as well as the eye in the security camera in that same episode). And with each new appearance (particularly the one in this episode) I’m starting to get more and more worried about whatever being or creature or presence the eyes belong to.

Which brings me to the second thing. One of the recurring themes in these stories has been what I’ve taken to calling “altered reality” - when things appear one way but, we find out later, were actually quite different. When Graham is confused by Amy mentioning his nonexistent window box in episode 3. When Laura tries to reverse out of the squeeze in the cave in episode 15 and her foot hits solid rock. When the pile of meat straight-up disappears in this very episode. I want to be clear - those examples of “altered reality” are not what I’m talking about when I discuss a new (to me) theme: the incomprehensible. This pile of...whatever...in Toby’s kitchen is literally incomprehensible to Christof. He can’t even put into words what he saw. It’s like either the words don’t exist to describe what he saw or his brain can’t comprehend it - or possibly both. He says, “when I looked at that heaped pile of meat…it moved. I don’t know how - I don’t know quite how to explain it, other than it opened its eyes. It opened all its eyes.” Being unable to trust your senses due to some “altered reality” is terrifying, but to experience something that is literally incomprehensible and indescribable is just another level of terrifying. And the one thing most clearly intertwined with this incomprehensibility Christof experiences? The eyes. Specifically, the eyes opening.

We’ve seen this incomprehensibility before, albeit in slightly less terrifying (IMO) situations. In episode 3, Amy describes the creature entering Graham’s window: “When I say it moved, that’s not quite right - it shifted. Like when you stare at one of those old magic eye paintings and you change from seeing one picture into seeing another.” But much more blatantly and recently, in episode 17 Sebastian describes reading an excerpt from The Boneturner’s Tale: the Boneturner “crept up to the Miller while he slept. It described him silently reaching inside him and…it’s a bit hazy. All I remember clearly is the line ‘and from his rib a flute to play that merry tune of marrow took’. And as for the rest, I don’t recall in detail.” The second example concerns me much more than the first. I feel bad for Graham, of course, and I really want to know what that creature was...but The Boneturner’s Tale was a Leitner and seemed to have the power to deform anyone who touched it.

By themselves, it doesn’t appear that the eyes are doing anything. They’re just eyes, after all. No limbs, no body. But I don’t know if they really are just watching, or if their form and actions are so incomprehensible to humans that the people in these stories essentially can’t perceive it. And if they are just watching...what are they watching for, and what’s going to happen when they see it?

This post is part of a series where I write my thoughts about each episode and obsessively connect dots in an effort to figure out The Big Mysteries of the series. All posts in this series are tagged “is this liveblogging?” Comments and messages are welcome but I have only listened to season 1, so I ask that you not spoil me for anything beyond episode 40. In the words of Jonny Sims…thanks for listening!

[adobe-outdesign]

DCTL Liveblog: Chapters 16-20

Sometimes this feels like I’m reading really good fanfiction.

Spoilers under the cut:

Chapter 16

I like how they’re just casually sitting here right after watching someone die and while there’s a demon on the loose. shouldn’t you guys, like, leave first

confirmation that Henry created Alice, even though she wasn’t used until after he left (which is kind of what I figured, but I’ve seen people say it was Joey)

Henry is Norman Approved(TM)

Norman calling Susie a “cute kid” is adorable honestly. I always liked the idea of them having a friendship

the whole “evil thing doesn’t like light” thing bothers me. like one it’s the most generic monster trope in the book, and two, since when the fuck was that a thing? Bendy fucking fistfought the Projectionist, I think he’s okay with a little light.

Actually the Ink Demon in general seems off in this - he doesn’t show any of the mischievous nature he has in the game (yet, anyway) and he does a bunch of weird shit like crawl on the ceiling or make wailing noises. feels like I’m reading about an xenomorph or something than Bendy.

the whole “ink goes through but doesn’t come out” doesn’t seem to make sense either? The blueprints indicate the Ink Machine produces the ink, which is how it was presented to the employees.

The thing about Sammy not acting like himself is interesting. It’s possible he’s so widly OOC is because the ink’s driving him crazy... but unfortunately that still doesn't’ really explain away the bigot shit. Plus it’s hard to tell if that was the author’s intent or not, maybe the next book will make it clearer.

I don’t really get why Buddy’s freaking out. Yeah, the ink’s at his house, and...? it’s not like anyone else is fucking around with the stuff, just wait until it’s safe and then bring it back to the studio.

Chapter 17

oh okay, he was worried about it infecting someone at his house, that makes more sense

Not sure how I feel about the ink being alive and stuff? I actually had a fic that explored that and bunch of other ideas that I didn’t write down because it was non-canon wherein it was something similar, but I was presented in more of an eldritch way. The ink just moving around on its own feels too venom-y for my taste, and is kind of weird considering it never was indicated in the game.

For those worried about the holocaust stuff: it’s just character backstory for Buddy’s grandpa and it’s treated very respectfully.

dumping the ink into a river seems like literally the worst way to get rid of it, but whatever

Chapter 18

"did you paint this?” uh...duh? your mom just told you he sent over his paintings, were you not listening?

Chapter 19

“I don’t have to sit there and watch people die” yeah, you can dick around and get lots of other people killed instead! Dot I like you but this is just a dumbass move

“I remembered the violinist, then tried to forgot her” it’s okay, everyone else already has seeing as she was such a background character she didn’t even get a name

okay screw everything else I just wrote Bertrum flat-out hugging Joey is by far the most surreal part of this book

you see, that was Henry’s problem, he though Bertie was trying to kill him when he was actually just trying to hug him with his carts. an easy mistake

I don’t think this is actually OOC though - they’ve just met recently (possibly only once before now), so Joey hasn’t had enough time to step on his ego and piss him off. we’re escentially seeing the rare non-butthurt Bertie

though to be fair, it is weird that Joey just calls him that and he doesn’t even bother correcting him

also, him brushing off Joey’s compliment with an “I don’t know about that” doesn’t seem quite right for an egotist, unless he’s just pretending to be humble for the sake of appearances

also I’ve been headcanoning him as big both in height and weight since the beginning, I’m glad he’s now canonly confirmed Beefy(TM) (their words not mine)

“Janie and the Bandits” good to see Showdown’s still getting work after being cancelled

Joey calling him a friend is also really funny because I’m pretty sure he still considers him that even after Bertie starts getting pissed at him

oh I see, the theatre was for expansion purposes

“Joey I heard you have booze here and I want it”

Chapter 20

it’s weird that Tom was fired. didn’t he quit of his own accord according to his first tape?

“Allison your fired” “I say I’m not fired” “damn it”

Thomas confirmed Swole

Tom being pissed all the time is... unfortunate, even if makes sense given what’s going on. It’s not a problem in general but when you make a character black you really gotta watch out for implications like that.

Allison knows that people died (esp. Susie), which is... interesting. It feels like it ties into her “I’m no angel” thing and not wearing her halo, though it also feels like it defeats the point of her being the “good” Alice a bit

I really like the little bits and pieces showing how the cartoon’s and ink creature’s minds work, seeing as the game doesn’t explore it at all

I wish they’d stop doing the “and I was face to face with Bendy” thing - it never is him and in this case it’s really obvious it’s Sammy.

TL;DR: Not sure if I like the direction the stuff with the ink is going, but otherwise it’s still pretty decent. Have to see how the final chapters play out tomorrow.

[coffeesforcatchers]

"I wouldn't know where to find such a thing" percy there is at least one vestige in that room

[missfinefeather]

MissFinefeather

Heard from Roxy there was a pesterquest update! Probably should take a look at that

Before the spoilers strike

Just, do it right here so anyone can join in

...okay I'm making it sound like a gangbang now....

Solarn

You have my attention.

GhastlyGhifin

I mean, I have Pesterquest now, so I can "join in" if need be

MissFinefeather

That's how Pesterquest ends btwWith a gangbang

GhastlyGhifin

Seems legit

MissFinefeather

Dirk stops being evil when he rides Eridan

GhastlyGhifin

Are you kidding? Dirk and Eridan together would be like that "And they were both bottoms" panel

MissFinefeather

Pfffft xDDD

Dirk and Equius?

GhastlyGhifin

Wait, we established we're dealing with two bottoms, and your solution is to add the most canonical bottom in Homestuck?

MissFinefeather

Oh shoot, breakfast... we'll do the reaction after food.

MissFinefeather

Alright, back!

Someone hit me with it!

GhastlyGhifin

BAM

https://twitter.com/homestuck/status/1222535940654145537

ydah

jane looks

MissFinefeather

That's Jane alright!

KillerQueenOfExplodokill

The future overlord herself

GhastlyGhifin

I really hope they lean into the sleuth aspect of her character

MissFinefeather

10 volumes later and we finally see the kitchen to that house

KillerQueenOfExplodokill

Now that I made that joke I’m going to find a picture of woz

GhastlyGhifin

And don't spend the entire time going "Here's more hints and foreshadowing about how much of a racist corporate overlord she's going to unavoidably be, sorry folks no getting out of this one"

Wakraya

Chub soft

MissFinefeather

Anyone remember Namco High

GhastlyGhifin

Yes

KillerQueenOfExplodokill

No

GhastlyGhifin

Oh man if they somehow reference Namco high in this that'll be fantastic

Like MSPAR accientally retcon teleports The Cosmic Prince into main Homestuck canon

MissFinefeather

@KillerQueenOfExplodokill It's an officially sanctioned dating sim for Namco characters. Hussie worked on the game, and because of that, three Homestuck characters were added: Jane, Terezi, and Davesprite

GhastlyGhifin

Miss liveblogged the three Homestuck routes of it a while back

MissFinefeather

Part of me wishes I could liveblog that game again, mostly so I can play the Susumu route

Curious where they go with him

Okay, there, we can compare sprites

KillerQueenOfExplodokill

Oh okay is this any where I can buy it

GhastlyGhifin

It's odd that the only major difference is that they gave Namco Jane blue frame glasses

which admittedly looks nicer than the homestuck default black frames

MissFinefeather

It’s free to download. Maybe someone can get the link

GhastlyGhifin

https://twitter.com/VRlSREZl/status/1222552400097136647

Kayla

Jane looks really cute ahhh

GhastlyGhifin

https://twitter.com/Aspic_art/status/1222569835332112384

GhastlyGhifin

fair point though

https://twitter.com/chibbinumbertwo/status/1218646329133395968

MissFinefeather

Didn't John love that comic?He had a poster of Problem Sleuth on his wall

GhastlyGhifin

Oh yeah

Well, nothing against him, but Jane's a bit quicker on the uptake

Nefronis

Jane's gonna Sleuth her way to thinking MSPAR's also a fanboy

GhastlyGhifin

He spent 80% of his route convinced this white friend-shaped being was a mailman, he's not gonna connect the dots on that one

MissFinefeather

Oh, fair

Nefronis

Look, they were messing around with the mail, they knew his Name after like a couple tries, what more proof could he need?

GhastlyGhifin

Also if I recall correctly Dave was more of a Midnight Crew fan

Which makes his double decapitation of the main character somewhat hilarious in hindsight

Also, didn't Droog stab one of his alternate selves that one time?

Nefronis

Did he know it was Droog? I can't remember if he saw him or if he just saw the notebooks were gone and his own body

GhastlyGhifin

Well, the one that got stabbed saw him, that's for damn sure

Unless Droog speared him from the back, which I guess is likely

[daz4i]

i don't mean to alarm anyone but i think I'm genuinely losing my mind more and more each day

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 s5 rewatch, 5.01 Eden

Hey guys. I don’t know how these are going to turn out. The last time i did a liveblog of my rewatch it was 1-2-3. I’m not sure I have more insight to add, but my enjoyment. I am bellarke focused, but not solely bellarke, and I’m looking for things I’ve missed before. 

I also haven’t been participating in bellarkefamselfienight for various reasons, but mostly because every time I try, my icloud is not cooperating and it’s this whole big hassle and nah. So I thought I’d push to get this out for bfsn. If there are a lot of typos it’s because i’m a crap typist and I’m trying to write as I watch. So. be forewarned.

If you want me to tag you drop me a note. Or removed from the tags. :) I like liveblogs and rewatches and new watcher reactions so if you do it you can tag me too.

@captainwilldameron @kizo2703 @levivlio @kickthatassgirl @jeanie205 @starboybellamy @ezraewrites @alightinadarkland  @emmyisgrey @irisouy

  Here we go

First shot it the ring and then it slides through and down to earth, with Clarke digging out of the lab to a desolate land. Her outfit is good though. She hikes across the dry ocean bed, back to the spot where flokru left their stone markers and she digs up the rover. 210 miles to Polis but it’s nothing but a wasteland and the tower is down. She’s trying to dig the bunker out by hand. Screaming for her mom and telling her she’s here and eating tiny bits of ration bars. Ooh she finds the throne, is that he CL theme? Ooo but she collapses the whole tower from trying to get that staff out of the throne.

Oh voiceover. Who are you talking to Clarke? Who? Oh that’s right. Bellamy. 2 months alone, the tower collapsed, she heads to Arcadia and it’s the first time she feels alone. Maya’s iPod, Jasper’s goggles MOnty’s note. Poor Clarke. Now we see the voiceover is a call on the radio. Static. “Anyway I doubt you can hear me on this piece of crap radio… but please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you.” Definitely to Bellamy.

Finally rain. She hasn’t had water in days. Now that she’s had water she seems much better. Eating bugs off the windshield. I LOVE when she digs the bugs off the grate and scarfs them down like they are delicious. Lol. But uh oh. We have a dangerous storm coming and she’s got to cover up from the elements too late for the solar panels. CLose the windows Clarke. Save yourself. Was that one of the glass storms? Ahh she’s heading for Farm Station and then the Solar Fields to get new solar panels for the rover. That’s when she dares the earth to kill her. And it almost does.

Dropping Lxa’s staff. Dropping Jaspers goggles. Dropping her coat and pack and falling to her knees in the desert. Now just falling. The vulture is trying to EAT her, and then she’s like wait It’s ALIVE. The first thing she sees is more desert, and then tumbles down the dune. Screaming Clarke.

“I”ve lost everything I”ve lost my friends, my father my mother. I’ve got nothing left!” Crying. Heading for the gun. And putting it to her head but there’s the vulture again. Follow it Clarke follow it.

There’s Eden. Heavenly music. “Thank You,” She says to the vulture and then shoots it.

That’s so Clarke.

Here’s Clarke eating in Eden. More voiceover. This one’s important to the whole season I think, and perhaps leads her, later, to  deciding to be the good guy. It’s showing how much she’s changed from the first Clarke, in season 1.

--I used to think life was about more than just surviving, but I’m not so sure anymore. Animals don’t feel guilty when they kill, they just do it. They kill or they get killed.

I tell myself that every life I took was for a reason. But the truth is the other side had reasons too. The grounders, the mountain men, even ALIE, their reasons to want us dead were the same as ours. It was us or them. Kill or be killed. Simple as that. So what now? What becomes of the commander of death when there is nothing left to kill. I guess we’ll find out now, because my fight is over. The question is, who am I now?”

She’s in the river, swimming. Being washed clean….

So that voiceover. That was talking to Bellamy, wasn’t it? She was having her moral dilemma to Bellamy.

She finds the village.

--Wait til you see this place. It’s like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately the radiation didn’t. “

Dead kids. Dead bodies. Just like in Mount Weather. Eerie

--I’ve lost track of how many bodies we’ve burned since reaching the ground. God this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive. If I knew I was going to see you again. Positive thoughts, Clarke.”

We see her sitting at a table now, her tone of voice much happier. The radio is back.  Joking about how the algae must suck but she found berries. Just talking to Bellamy. When you realize she’s just talking to him, and you know it lasts for 2199 days, it seems so sad and lonely. Oh look, she’s drawing the rocket taking off right now. So she’s thinking about when they left her and talking to them. Wait no. She sees a person. Madi.

Madi is a little hell child. Running from her. THen Clarke steps in the bear trap and Madi tells the fleimkepa to die and stabs her until she realizes she’s a night blood too and runs away. Hell child.

Clarke limps back to the cafe to sew her leg back up. I think I heard that they actually made that a lot less gory than they were going to. Poor Clarke, sweating and panting and now she’s asleep and Madi steals all her damn stuff! Hell child!

But she gets better, now limping around on Lxa’s staff and watching Madi spear fish.

“Last two people on earth and one of them happens to be the child from hell.

But there she is drawing a picture of Madi by the water. Clever Clarke lures her in with a picture of herself. And leaves. Madi comes closer and the music is suddenly soft and gentle.

Cut to grown Madi getting out of the rover and Clarke having caught fish. They’re going to get hair dye. Now the hair dying. Madi is talking about Clarke’s stories and her heroes, especially Octavia. Clarke says she’s not sorry they left without her because if she was with them she never would have met her.

“What about them? DO you think they’ll come back too?” Clarke says. The music changes to something longing and the camera pans up to Bellamy in the ring staring out the window looking at Eden. No words.

Echo and Raven sparring. Monty calling dinner and Raven using the distraction to get Echo.

“This isn’t eating it’s surviving,” harper said.

Ahh spacerkru. Eden is still just a dot and Raven and Bellamy are fighting over radiation, radios and living on earth while drinking green swill.

Emori likes spacewalks and likes to play outside in the void. While Bellamy is hassling Raven about not getting them to earth for 6 years and 7 days. They said they wouldn’t talk about it and Bellamy says sorry, and takes his punishment to check on Murphy.

Murphy jumps on his back, the troll. And Bellamy just rolls with it. He wants Murphy to come back to the others if he wins their sparring and Murphy says no because there’s no one to disappoint here, then he sucker punches Bellamy. They are so cute together. I mean they’re fighting but they’re not angry.

“You know what your problem is? You like being a hero. Except up here, there are no heroes.” I like the character development of s1 asshole murphy missing being the hero. Outcast murphy being DECLARED a hero. He just wanted to belong, and now he does...only he has problems with that, belonging. And Bellamy’s trying to force him to love himself. 

SO like down on Eden, we’ve got Clarke saying the good guys and bad guys are the same and life is just about survival, because that way she doesn’t feel guilt. And up there in space, Bellamy is saying there are no heroes and Murphy is afraid to be useless again. Then they spar and Bellamy pins him, “You’re not worthless, Murphy,” and he sees the Eligius. Immediately they’re back as a team, even if they don’t agree about communicating with Eligius. Murphy just wants to get to the ground and Bellamy wants to find out who they are first.

That clip of Clarke and Madi seeing the Eligius is a clip from s4. It’s the other actress that played Madi but you don’t see her face.

THERE’S the real Madi.  THey’re running from the Eligius, and Madi want to think that they are good guys but Clarke isn’t taking any chances. She’s going to be the girl under the floor.

Diyoza in armor and a mask revealed to be a pretty lady. She thinks it’s all clear when she’s got Wanheda scoping her. Oh the prisoners are just swarming. There’s shaw who looks dashing, and McCreary who looks like some sort of dangerous scorpion. “Non violent offenders with me?” Shaw says. “Yeah both of them.”

“You’re still my favorite mass murderer,” she says to McCreary. That’s just because she hasn’t met OUR mass murderers.

I love her little journal of their weapons, just like Lincoln had.

Except she hears then and comes running because some prisoner is going to shoot Madi. While the other guy is like leave the little kid aloe. Then Clarke shoots him and goes after the other one. Oh nope. Madi takes out the other prisoner. Her first kill.

Madi tries to keep Clarke from killing the other prisoner because she thinks he’s one of the good guys, and Clarke says, “There are no good guys.”

That’s important. The idea of good guys, heroes, who are they now?

Back to spacekru and Monty doesn’t want to go because they’ve been safe for 6 years. He doesn’t want to take the risk.

He doesn’t want to do it again, to have to be so strong. “No one should have to be that strong.”

Emori doesn’t want anything to do with Murphy and he packed her pack for her. Raven says he blew a good thing, because she’s annoyed about having a roommate for 6 months. He says it’s because she couldn’t get them back to the ground.

Bellamy’s final sweep to pick up Echo. “What are we gonna be now, Bellamy?”

“Nothing is gonna change on the ground.”

“I wish that were true.

“Oh I know it is.We kept each other alive. We’re family and nothing can change that.”

He thinks Octavia will understand, but then panics about her not being okay. Because she’ll forgive her too. “Bellamy, it took you three years.”

“Well I’m more stubborn than she is. Whatever it is down there Octavia will be the least of our worries.”

Smash cut to Octavia leading her death cult.

Oh Bellamy. That is like one full minute of famous lasts words, buddy.

[arofili]

legolas or celebrimbor??

celebrimbor doesn’t have a tumblr, he made that shit. he and narvi are @staff.

(well. they were @staff…)

leg …. pre fellowship

their blog url

green-leaves-in-a-green-forest

(or something equally long and horrendously hyphenated and fake poetic)

the kind of posts they reblog

random shit he finds amusing

like, cat pictures and social justice posts from 2013

no theme at all

i would never follow him

the first person they followed

tauriel

she convinced him to get a tumblr because of the memes

a year later, she regrets this immensely

she matured and has a better blog that she doesn’t even use much

legolas is the exact same.

what kind of theme they’d have

tumblr default theme

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he will wake up in the middle of the night and post about the dreams he just had, but without any context

“made some chocolate milk with the lady who pulls the sun. tasted like weed. also, that one girl who i thought i had a crush on in 3rd grade was there. awkward.”

“sweating so much!! just ran a marathon with my dad while we were being chased by oliophaunts. the racetrack turned into a river halfway through. we won!!”

he thinks he’s funny

(he’s not.)

leg …… during fellowship

their blog url

he privated his blog for the first part of the journey because he thought it would be safer

after a few weeks he gets bored and starts liveblogging this shit

at that point his url becomes “fellowshipoftheleg”

his blog title is “Eight Idiots And A Gorgeous Elf Save The World”

“Hello! My name is Legolas Greenleaf. I am currently on a quest to save the world. The details are ~secret~ but I needed a place to vent so here we go. My companions are all idiots, except for me. My interests include….”

you know the type of subtitle i’m talking about.

the kind of posts they reblog

he basically stops reblogging and only makes original posts during this period of time

the liveblog

legolas had >300 followers before this, but his posts about his journey start to gain traction

his liveblog is pretty much petty complaints at first

he talks shit about gimli

he cracks “jokes” about boromir

(again. he’s not funny)

he reports on the weird stuff gandalf does

he gushes over the adorable hobbits

(until one day he accidentally bumps into frodo and sam tries to jump him.

he’s a little afraid of them after that.)

he quotes aragorn like there’s no tomorrow

some of these are like, actually deep

most of them sound like stuff from inspirobot

or they’re stupid inside jokes

everyone gets code names, cuz legolas isn’t that stupid

gandalf is “old man”

aragorn is “the bro”

boromir is “angstlord”

the hobbits go through tons of nicknames

“itty bitties”

“curly boys”

tiny monsters

eventually they get their own, but by that point the fellowship has split

gimli is “asshole dwarf”

after a few weeks… he becomes weirdly popular.

his story reads like a trollfic, with stupid plot twists and bizarre anecdotes

this mostly is anecdotes, not the full scope of the quest

he mostly makes text posts, with a few pictures here and there

every now and then he’ll post a snapshot of the fellowship roasting marshmallows

or a selfie of him in lothlorien

or a sneaky pic of him drawing dicks on boromir’s face while he’s asleep

he used to be low-profile, but shit’s gone whack.

he’s gaining hundreds of followers a day

his top post has half a million notes.

he’s a tumblr “cewebrity”

everyone on tumblr thinks this is just a story, not real life

people dig through his old posts looking for clues and foreshadowing

they’re baffled by the dedication the mod of the blog has to building up this “legolas” character

or they’re puzzled by the mod’s decision to turn this shit blog into a dedicated storytelling platform

legolas is bombarded with asks and @ mentions

but like…this bitch don’t actually know how to use this website.

he can make a post and reblog one

but that’s literally it

he’s the kind of blogger who leaves stupid captions on popular posts

he can’t figure out how tags work

he’s never heard of xkit

all his asks go unanswered

he’s only sort of aware of what’s going on

he’s blogging 100% from mobile, which makes it even worse

the Legolas Fandom goes buckwild

there is not enough time in the day to over it all

ship wars.

fan theories.

headcanon drama.

it’s a mess.

and again, legolas has no clue that this is going on.

when he catches feelings for gimli…things get insane.

he writes gushy, cringy, angsty posts about gimli

he posts pics of gimli with flower crowns

he composes bad poetry about gimli

the fan base is infuriated.

they’d all been shipping him with aragorn.

and like, no one in the fellowship has a fucking clue this is happening.

at least, not until they get to 

it’s ironic that Isolated Horseblr User eowyn is the first one to recognize legolas

she finally gets up the courage to ask him about it

“has someone been stealing your selfies, or…?”

he is astonished.

if Leg could, he’d shut down the whole thing

even if eowyn had wanted to help him do that, he’s just in too deep

he’s in this for the long haul.

now, Legolas starts to make shit up.

that’s when his popularity tanks.

he’s getting callouts

he’s everyone’s “problematic fav”

people dig through his blog to find dirt instead of clues

Legolas is more aware of this now, and he pouts for days

then gimli, a Twitter-Only lad, finally sees a masterpost explaining everything

he connects the dots way quicker than anyone else did

and oh fuck.

he’s frantically tweeting–

“wtf do i do??”

“i think i’m the asshole dwarf??”

“but he’s like in love with the asshole dwarf now??”

“oh my god, my crush likes me back??”

“has he been liveblogging EVERYTHING??”

eventually he deletes it all and decides to confront legolas

the leg boy caves under pressure and spills the beans.

they figure their personal shit out

of course, aragorn knew everything all along.

at least, that’s what he says

gimli takes over the liveblog for a day and everyone goes nuts.

together, he and leg decide that they’ve got to end this fake-ish story

even though they don’t know the ending of the real one.

for someone who’s never used it before, gimli picks up tumblr etiquette quickly

and on mobile. that’s a whole nother level of perseverance.

he starts streamlining shit, collecting information, making use of fan masterposts

he ties all the loose ends together

with a little bit of help from legolas to make it suitably weird, they close the story strong with a bang and a kiss.

aragorn finds their version of events…amusing.

after the real dust settles and the news stories about the Real Quest hit the press…

now legolas is a Real Actual Celebrity

his fans new and old start to see…similarities between the two stories

plagiarism?

insider info?

conspiracy?

coincidence?

no one can decide.

leg ………… post fellowship

their blog url

Legolas has three blogs now.

“fellowshipoftheleg” is kept as an archive. he doesn’t post there anymore.

he has a secret personal blog, “greenwood-gossip”, that he just posts random shit on like before.

and finally he has a Real Life Famous Person Tumblr Blog, “legolasgreenleaf”

the kind of posts they reblog

with the help of gimli and tauriel, he figures out how to actually use this website.

like most celeb blogs this one doesn’t post much

but he does reblog edits of himself and of his friends

every time he’s asked about fellowshipoftheleg he answers that he is not responsible for it and has no idea about it and would you all please stop asking about it.

the first person they followed

aragorn’s new Famous Person account.

this blog is deactivated after two months because he never uses it.

what kind of theme they’d have

something that should be really classy but with awkward shades of green

like, it had potential but again…legolas has a terrible eye for design

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he doesn’t usually make original posts

but sometimes he’ll complain about gimli’s weird habits

and once - just once - he confessed that he was the one who ran that liveblog all those years ago

he deleted the post an hour later, but there were screenshots.

legolas is the Ultimate Troll.