#dr d hates them

[gildedmuse]

ZoLaw AUs Nobody Asked For

Law and Zoro as online boyfriends.

They text. They chat. They ask one another advice, occasionally at really awkward times. [Picture of Zoro trying to text on this damn e-mushi because DrHeartStealer wasn't sure his crew actually LIKED him, is he being too harsh Sword3?] while also trying to fight off a giant electric god pet snake.

This all started pre-Luffy (Zoro's official calendar units) and neither of them have really gotten brave enough to reveal their identities but, yeah, online boyfriends.

So Zoro means it when he shoulders some guy at bar out of his personal space with a little, "look somewhere else, buddy." He's taken.

Robin: I notice Kenshi-san is very attached to his e-mushi. Nami: Zoro? Ha! No, he hates those things. It's why he lets kata- oh, THAT. *Eye roll* Yeah, he's really attached to that "e-mushi" Robin: *side smile* Why do I feel as if you're holding back on important details, Navigator-san? Nami: *sigh* I guess it's only right that, since Luffy decided you were crew, I tell you everything I know Nami: So I can finally gossip about this bitch with someone who gets it

[blasphamoustraitors]

.

[gu6chan]

finally got to speak my piece about how much ending e sucks ass this is like therapy, actually

[aajjks]

Love Fuckin’ (m)

synopsis. You love feeling him so deep inside you after a nightmare.

rating: 18+ (explicit smut)

warning: expl-cit sex, k—ssing, unpr-tect-d sex, r-ugh sex, m-ssionary, posess-veness, borderline y-ndere gojo, f-ngering, he’s dr-nk, manga sp-ilers, nightm-res, drúnk gôjô.

note. This is for all the Gojo fuckers out here. I love him and I need him and I fucking hate sukuna and GEGE. fuck u both please share your feedback. I love you guys. Enjoy. Also this contains manga spoilers. Reposted.

You wake up in cold sweat.

Gojo was cut in half.

When you look around he’s not by your side, the sweat on your forehead falls down, what if dream is your upcoming reality?

It’s midnight,, there’s thunderstorm, and you’re so fucking lonely and scared— no you’re terrified.

Where is he? “Satoru…”

you curl yourself in bed, your paranoia slowly creeping up, your dream felt so vivid, so real.

Your boyfriend died in the nightmare.

As you think about your vivid dream, you can’t help but cry softly to yourself, you love him so much, he loves you so much.

Gojo’s love makes you feel so alive. You need him. You need him so badly right now. you want to touch him to make sure that he’s OK

God please…

You pray for his safety, goodness you need your boyfriend with you right now. You know he’s the strongest, he can protect himself but you’ll only calm down once he’s in your arms.

“Baby…” your eyes widen in surprise as the door of your bedroom opens and there’s him, a little sloppy with his steps as he comes in.

“Sa-Satoru…” you fall out, taking your blanket off as you see his soaked body. He stares at you with a weird gaze, “ynnnn..” he slurs out.

He’s drunk.

“You are drunk!” You glare at him, your tears now dry, sense of relief washes over you when you see him in his glory. He is okay and that dream of yours was just a stupid nightmare.

Gojo doesn’t reply but he walks over to you, his hair wet, the outline of his muscles showing through his soaked shirt and you feel his strong arms wrap around your body.

“My pretty baby…” he looks at you with his vibrant blue eyes, you glare at him. “Oh you horny fucker no.” You cuss at him.

He’s got that Look in his eyes, you know him like the back of your hand, despite him not saying anything about getting intimate with you yet you can tell he wants you.

Gojo pouts before you watch him kick his pants off, you don’t stop him, soon he’s taking off his clothing.

Getting completely bare.

“you stupid bastard why are you getting naked?”

You tease him acting, angry,

He pushes you towards him, your chest hitting his, and before you say anything else he pulls you into a bruising hot kiss.

His lips meet yours feverishly as he shoves his tongue in your mouth, demanding entrance and you grab his face kissing him back.

Satoru moans into your mouth, grinding his hard erected dick against your clothed thigh. That sends shivers down your spine. “Yn baby let me fuck youuu I need you.” He whines against your mouth.

You know he’s asking for consent, so you nod, and that’s all he needs before he pushes you onto your shared bed

You wait for his next move and he climbs on top of you, and soon he sticks his two large fingers inside you after taking your panties off which were hidden by your night dress.

“o-oh fuck.” You shiver, arching your back. His fingers make you feel so full and the way you clench around them makes Saturo grunt.

“where the fuck were you? I had a nightmare…” you try to surpass the noise that threaten to escape your throat when you tell him about your nightmare, but he’s just so mercilessly fucking you with his fingers.

“Aw baby you had a nightmare?” He asks, his face closer to yours as he buries his head in your neck and starts to kiss your neck, all over.

You moan again, “y-yeah.. I had a dream that you died… you were cut in half..” a tear escapes your eye because of the intensity of the pleasure of his fingers inside you or maybe because of the pain due to the nightmare you had.

but then you hear him laugh as he takes out his fingers right as you cum on them, as you chase your orgasm you’re confused as to why he’s laughing at your misery.

“Baby you taste so amazing… fuck.” He runs his tongue on your arousal on his fingers, licking them clean.

He’s so nasty and so lewd.

“Why the hell are you laughing? I love you and I thought I lost you.” You whine.

He doesn’t say anything, but he kisses you again, hungrily shoving his tongue inside your mouth.

“No one can kill Gojo Saturo… he always be alive baby. Don’t you see me right in front of you?” He peppers, your face in kisses, leaving you breathless with his former kiss.

You’re not sure if he’s being ignorant or.. sympathetic.

Or maybe he’s just telling you the truth.

Gojo looks at you loving his eyes full of love for you, “come on, let me make you feel just how alive I am as I fuck you senseless on my cock.”

And without a warning, he thrusts inside you violently.

And suddenly all the coldness from this rainy night disappears, the heat of his body making your night incredibly hot.

[lia-loves]

aventurine, ratio, and jing yuan crumbs because I’m not over them (why are they my fave males in this game?)

a/n: fluffy fluff I thought of for them! if you don’t like cussing, don’t read but that’s the only warning (and my poor attempts at humor) lol! :D

aventurine 

one of the best listeners there is, I said it. 

despite his persona, he could listen to you for HOURS and not get tired. also the type to remember specific things you like that you mention in passing and you get surprised when he knows what you mean

he could be gambling and you could be talking to him and he would almost memorize all of what you’re throwing at him.

the type of person to hype the shit out of you in closed quarters

ALSO ALSO IMAGINE GOSSIP KING AVEN like that would be so cute. you could text him during your lunch break at work and be like “omg babe guess what?” and no matter how busy he is, he ALWAYS responds immediately and it stuns you how quick he is. 

The type to throw/spend his credits on you almost (not enough to be reckless but you get what I mean) recklessly, but if you ask him to stop, he will. spending his credits on you is NOT his love language (imo)

he gets very cuddly at night and he is pretty warm to cuddle with (not in the summertime when it’s abysmally hot tho). he knows when to back off. 

when you called him Kakavasha for the first time, he cried because he has never been so emotionally vulnerable with someone before except for his sister. 

your honor, I love him (10/10 experience, y’all work shit out together)

dr. ratio

he is also a very good listener but will interrupt your tangents of interest to ask questions because he is curious and this is a subject he wishes to know better. 

Despite his “I hate idiots” aura/attitude, he would do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING for you. you want a hug? it’ll be awkward as fuck, but he’ll give you one. 

top of the head/forehead kisses >>> for him are the way to this man’s heart, I just know it. he also likes giving you those types of kisses in closed quarters. 

I can’t see him liking butterfly kisses though, it would take too much adjusting and for whatever reason, it overwhelms him. 

texts you about his teachings, research, or any breakthroughs in whatever he’s doing as well as plans to stay late etc.,

his communication skills are top-notch it’s kinda crazy.

Topaz and Aventurine found out you’re his Lock Screen/ Home Screen, and they won’t let ratio love it down. (They love you too and probably don’t know you) 

9/10 experience because sometimes he can be a lil’ mean but he quickly apologizes to you so it goes back up to 10/10 :3

jing yuan

the clingiest motherfucker it’s insane, but you love it. 

anytime he gets a break, he messages you about how much he misses you. 

this man WILL pass the fuck out if you scratch his scalp, I just know it. the second your hands go through his hair and take out the ribbon, it’s game over for both of you. good luck trying to move an almost corpse with how heavy he can sleep. 

he tells yanqing ALL about you if he gets the feeling he is going to marry you. granted, you’d have to be with him for a long ass time before he tells yanqing anything about you, but if he has that feeling, he and yanqing will be having a session of talking about you and respecting people (instead of their rigorous training) cause why the hell not :D

he will be happy and upset if you’re a long-living species like he is, because while he wants to live forever with you, it’s possible he may get sad because of something happening with you. 

clingy but not overbearing- if you get overwhelmed, he WILL pick up on the signs and give space if you need it. 

I saw a post (which I reblogged bc that’s so smart fr) as well as yunli’s trailer (idk I think that’s what they said that was from) that jing yuan went “pspspsps” and i think he definitely treats you like a cat and does “pspspsps” to get your attention. you could be reading or doing something (your attention is not on him) and he’ll just go “pspspsps (name)” and it irritates the shit out of you

10/10 experience though, I love him 

© lia-loves 2024. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing on other websites. all of the writing you see on this blog has been written by me.

[mewmewpercy]

Hello aventio/raturine/golden ratio(or whatever the fuck else ship name they have) shippers. I'd like to express my feelings about this ship as a shipper who isn't too avid about it but still enjoys it.

I feel like this ship has become the biggest victim of what I'd like to call HaiKaveh syndrome. Essentially it's become that type of ship where a character that's perfectly able to be independant and strong has been watered down to needing the other person in the ship to survive.

Aventurine survived his entire planet getting genocided, being a literal slave, being a slave to government work, the literal Nihility void, and mindfuckery. He isn't weak or in need of some other person lest he crumble into dust. Yes he has awful mental health and various other problems but he's a grown ass man who can and has survived by himself.

Dr. Ratio has been a victim of getting assigned mean, strong, and dominant by fans. He is also his own character. It's quite sad to me as an autistic person with a massive hyperfixation on him to see him rarely explored as a character. He's always reduced to super fucking mean for no reason when his quest arc from 1.6 was literally showing off that he's the empathetic side of geniuses. He's blunt and monotone yes but he's a good person. He devotes his life to spreading knowledge because he wants everyone to be smart. The flip side of what he's characterized as is constant pining mess for Aventurine.

I hate this constant in fandom of reducing characters to a singular trait they may have or one specific thing integral to the character and making that their entire character. These are two three dimensional characters with so many things about them separately that have been reduced to only about each other and it's so sad because I''d love to see more people dissect them both for who they are as individuals. I'm not trying to be bitchy I just want to see them acknowledged as separate people more often.

[gghostwriter]

Hiya! :D

Since askbox is open, may I please order some slight hurt-comfort based off of "From Eden" by Hozier? Harnessing the pure longing this song emanates to me fr.

Something like non-BAU!reader getting hurt by an unsub during a case (non-lethal but it does require a stitch or two) and spencer gets abnormally worried about this one person among the group of victims (maybe serial bank robberies) and when the team notices it and ask him about it he reveals to them that they're actually his roommate?

something romantic-leaning; I just like the idea of him standing outside the hospital room door [OMG LIKE THE SONG] because the doctors told him to wait before he could go inside sitting there like 🥺 "My roommate :(" and getting embarassed when the team calls reader his partner; "You're so worried it's almost like you're dating." sort of feel

Sorry if this is long btw! I tend to go all out on ideas! Pronouns are up to you though, feel free to change anything to your liking as well! :]

Thanks for reading! :D

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Trope: Roommates; Comfort, Fluff, Angst w.c: 1.2k A/N: There's so much interpretation for 'From Eden by Hozier' and I had a challenging time trying to capture which meaning I wanted to encapsulate. This is also by far the longest request I've written and honestly this took a life of its own but I still hope you like it! Main masterlist

Eden. // Spencer Reid

The monotone droll in the bank was white noise in your life that you learned to slowly hate. Day in, day out it was the same thing—customers withdrawing, depositing, and claiming loans. You liked numbers, that was how you ended up as a manager, but the cookie cutter business smile you had to keep on your face was a con you wish to part from. 

You sighed. Your roommate turned secret crush, Dr. Spencer Reid, had warned you about the serial robberies that had happened within the state of Virginia and Washington. He advised you to be vigilant and if possible, to keep your phone within your reach and you easily agreed having heard some of the macabre cases he’d been involved in.

You just didn’t think it would happen today.

“Get down on the ground!” A man’s voice echoed throughout the lobby, followed by a series of gunshots.

Spencer’s voice played in your head as if he was a lighthouse guiding you out from the panic. Hide. Don’t panic. Press the hidden alarm and dial my number.

You thanked your past self for programming his contact on speed dial. Volume down and no words uttered, you hid the phone inside your blouse hoping to not get caught.

“You there!” One of the masked men caught sight of you. “Outside. Now!”

You nodded, averting your eyes to show submission. Another tactic from Spencer.

Wishing the call picked up the trio of robbers voices, you stayed facing down on the lobby surround by the rest of the hostages.

Spencer, please. Please, get my message.

Just a few miles away, tension was high in the BAU conference room. The round table littered with folders and cooling coffee mugs. The team was running on a mixture of caffeine and sheer will to solve the serial bank robber case, tagged as priority by Strauss, that had been terrorizing states for a span of months. 

Spencer raked his already unruly hair. So far, the profile was incomplete. They knew there were three in the team but with varying heights and builds in various crime scenes, even that was shaky. What they were sure of was the sick game of Russian roulette they would play with their hostages, always with one bullet in a revolver and who ever is unlucky, dies with a hole between their brows and the remaining hostages are pistol whipped to unconsciousness. 

He knew he should stay objective. He knew that but how could he, when who he considers as his secret flower was at risk every second the unsubs were at large? It was his mission to keep you safe and the chances of you being caught in the line of fire heightened each second.

Vibration from his pocket brought him out of his musings. 

It was you. Right there and then, Spencer knew it was anything but good. You never called during work hours and with the last conversation between you having been about safety, it had settled in his stomach that the worst reality had come to fruition.

He picked up without saying a word, straining his ears to hear any distinguishable background noise. That was when he heard it—the authoritative, cocky voice yelling at you to come outside. His heart dropped. 

No. No. No. Anything but this.

“Sir, we just got a call,” Penelope rushed into the conference room. “There’s a live hostage taking at—”

“—Commerce Bank. 125 Independence Boulevard,” Reid interjected.

The profilers shared a look.

“That’s right,” Penelope muttered.

Morgan raised an eyebrow at him as he hurriedly stood up and collected his belongings. “Wait Reid—” causing him to stop in his tracks and turn to face back at the team. “—How’d you know?”

“Because Y/N works there,” he promptly exits the room, hightailing it to the elevator.

Emily looked at JJ. “Who’s that?”

She shrugged, lost too on who you were.

———

The team had split into two vehicles. Hotch, Rossi, and Reid in one while Morgan Emily, and JJ in the other.

Rossi glanced at Hotch, communicating the tension Reid was releasing from the passenger seat. In turn, Hotch sneaks a peek via the rear view mirror and profiles Reid’s ticks—hands clasped tight together, right leg shaking up and down, eyes shifting from left to right, and deep breaths through the nose and mouth. 

“Reid,” he called out.

Blown wide doe eyes meet his. “Hm?”

“We need you to stay focused. If you can’t do that, I’ll pull you out of this case.”

“I—I can do it!” His voice cracking.

“Are you sure, kid?” Rossi clarified.

He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s just she’s my—” roommate but that singular title wasn’t fitting to describe who you were to him. No classification was good enough, really. “—I can focus,” he declared. 

There was a series of looks exchanged between the two senior agents. They didn’t need to be seasoned profilers to understand that their youngest is one slip away from panic.

Hotch sighed. “Alright, Reid, but you follow my orders. Got it?”

“Yes.” 

———

Einstein’s theory of special relativity was what came to mind as he paced outside your hospital room. The physicist implied that time moves relative to the observer. An object moving very fast experiences time more slowly than in rest and that was exactly what he felt as he paces back and forth outside your room, desperately waiting for any update—the good or the bad. Everyone seemed to be moving at a leisure pace while he, Dr. Spencer Reid, hangs on the precipice of elation and despair. 

The team had sent him away, to you specifically, when it was obvious that his otherwise objective mind was of no help in finishing up the case. Was it dreadful of him that he felt relief course through his veins when it wasn’t you that got the short end of the stick during the unsubs’ Russian Roulette? Yes, possibly but he was only human. A being filled with conundrums and good vs evil. 

The impact of today was eye opening. He could no longer deny to himself that you were more than just a roommate or an acquaintance or a friend. Oh, how hard he tried so hard to push away any thought that seemed any less innocent or chivalrous, but the idea of seeing those beautiful eyes broken and in pain made him want to face the truth. The truth being how deliriously in love Spencer Reid was with you. 

His phone rang, disturbing his mind-altering revelation thoughts.

“Hey kid,” It was Morgan. “How is she?”

Reid licked his lips, eyes trained on the still closed door. “I—I haven’t seen her. The doctors are still inside and I’m still here—outside.” 

“I know this isn’t the time but should we know who she is?” A pause. “Girlfriend?”

“No. No, she’s my roommate,” his sigh coated in despair, murky and sad enough for Morgan to notice.

“You sounded so worried. It’s almost like you’re in love with her or something.”

“I am—” your door opened. “I have to go, Morgan,” he hung up before another word could be uttered.

“Are you Dr. Spencer Reid?” The female doctor asked.

He nodded.

She smiled. “She’ll see you now.”

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Tucker gets hired by the JL to work on the Watchtower’s cybersecurity... He might have a few friends visit. 

Batman looked over the application for visitors presented to him by Dr. Foley, who was nervously wringing his hands but seemed excited to talk about his two close associates, and it appeared that everything was in order for the pair to be allotted a short visitation time slot. 

The paperwork was established by Batman himself after all, needing a way to permit non-members (His Children) to visit him at his office in the watchtower. Looking over Dr. Foley’s application, the invites to Dr. D. Fenton and Dr. S. Manson seemed to be somewhat warranted.

Dr. Fenton is a well known astrophysicist and Dr. Foley had been upping the security to reflect more complex physics models as the ‘lock’ mechanism for access to Watchtower servers. Dr. Manson was a more controversial figure in social justice but a biochemist to rival Dr. Pamela Isley, not to mention she was someone Bruce Wayne had met a number of times and not completely hated (though he was sure she hated him and everyone else in the gala). She was a fan favorite guest by his children and a great advocate for animal and human rights. 

Batman approves the application, allowing their visitation for a few hours at a time once a week until the completion of Dr. Foley’s project. 

He doesn’t hear much from it, nor from Dr. Foley, but things start to come down the rumor grapevine that the two guests were more than they seemed. Red Robin was the first to comment on it to him, and as practical and efficient Tim could be, there was a look of chaos in his smile as he discussed the two additional PhDs. He was stingy on details and that always meant something bad for Bruce’s mental health. A few others asked a few questions as to who exactly the pair were visiting, and Cyborg commented that they weren’t really doing too much to assist Dr. Foley. 

Batman decides to intervene and meet these two for himself when he hears Constantine complain (not that the man wasn’t always complaining about something) about the two new magic users being way too OP for normal humans. 

This is how the JL gets to become allied with Ghost King Phantom and Thorn (not Poison Ivy pt.2 as Robin insisted). Turns out they weren’t sure if the JL could be trusted with interdimensional politics, so Tucker spent the last two years gaining their trust to let Danny and Sam up here to ‘check the place out’ before they committed to becoming members. 

Batman doesn’t even get to raise alarms at the espionage of it all because Red Robin has already programed their new badges and welcomed them on with open arms and a project to take down the LOA’s Lazarus Pits “safely”.

[pweepsiee]

INTRO!! :3

Please remember I am still an actual human being

I am not in any way shape or form yours, nor will I ever be. I am not your personal cam girl who falls at your feet.

If you can't handle that, go to someone else's blog.

I’m not always gonna be in the mood so if I’m not being sexual back to you just drop it. DO NOT SEND ME NUDES OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT UNLESS I MAKE A SPECIFIC POST ABOUT IT.

Prob only gonna be here for..(doing the math as I’m writing this..) three more years! :3

Not a dom!!!!

About me

Name: Estrella

Age: 18

Sexuality: bisexual (I lean towards women) (WHY ARE THERE NO DOMMES ON HERE?!

Religion: Hellenism

MBTI: INTP! Though you probably won't be able to tell unless you somehow manage to get the real me out hehe

Favorite shows: Gilmore girls, Shamless, Good Girls Favorite movies: Zootopia, Dumplin, Fear Street

Favorite books: Dracula, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Shadows of Perseus

My hobbies: painting, singing, writing, jewelry making, playing piano

My fav pet names: Missy/lil miss, angel, princess, baby/ babygirl, little one, love, sweetheart (probably others but I can't think of them..)

Lover of anything creepy, crawly, unsettling or dark!! (Only a vampire can love you forever, right?)

Also weirdly obsessed w Ancient Greece..wish I lived in that era ☹️

On a real note, I struggle a lot with depression and anxiety, waiting to be diagnosed! These are normally pretty debilitating for me but I try not to let it openly affect me too much. I also am suffering from a chronic illness so forgive me if my posting schedule is a little wonky!

I have multiple doms/dommes! Almost all of them are online, but a few are in person. These relationships are strictly D/s, nothing serious romantically! Always up for adding another dom/domme to my list :)

Yes I do indeed have daddy issues, did you come to check if I did hehe? If you're thinking "oh hooray!" Or whatever more mature celebration you're saying in your head, you re.probably going to be mildly disappointed. A lot of people (especially on here) have the misunderstanding that daddy issues cause girls to be super sexual, well, not true. I am indeed fact a pretty sexual person, but I'm not always going to be in the mood or down for sending/receiving spicy pics, l am after all a human being with many feelings. surprise surprise! That being said, my daddy issues are more (unless we're talking about a serious D/s relationship..you most likely won't have to worry about this unless we're getting into something serious the kind where I cry a lot and need to be treated like a princess haha. Enough ranting, the fun stuff is below :)

My kinks 🌈

Breeding/impregnation/birthing

Bondage

Praise!!

Vampire!!

Overstimulation

Knifeplay/gunplay

Piss

Uhhh probably some others that I can’t remember rn?..

DNI/hard limits:

Trying to force me to send you anything.

Getting upset if I don't respond right away or at all.

Hating on me and or my blog.

Persisting if I am clearly not in the mood or if I am age regressing.

Asking me to show my face

Anti BDSM/anti sex (wtf r u doing here then man)

Feet

Oral

Edging

Nipple play

Anything anal. Just..no. Exit only.

Anything that results in long lasting harm (I'm in poor enough health..don't even need to think about adding onto it.)

NO body shaming. Too sensitive for it :<

Bottom line-I am a human being, I have the right to deny any request, not respond, or not like something you do.

[another-goblin]

I've seen a lot of interesting opinions about Dr. Ratio. Some of them I disagree with. So I decided to compile a little list of why I disagree with them. The first part will be about things that seem factually incorrect, and the second part is about things that are rather a matter of interpretation and context.

As always, I might be wrong, so feel free to correct me.

1. Things that seem factually incorrect. 

"Ratio is an egoist and does everything for attention and recognition" - I don't remember him ever saying or doing anything that would indicate that. He saved these researchers secretly and made our TB take all the credit. He later even calls himself a "supporting character". He gets angry if we ask him for an autograph.

"He doesn't care about people" - yes, if you skipped his passionate speech to Screwllum about how much he cares about people. But also, everything he does in the game is helping people (saving these researchers on Herta station, offering us his help later in the express dialogues and messages - offering us to enroll in university, participate in devates, turn the express into a weapon, later helping Aventurine with his plan, helping him to find information, and so on).

"He hasn't achieved anything in science" - the list of his scientific achievements is easily available, I wouldn't say it's nothing. But I'll also leave this here:

Even his dedicated hater disagrees with this.

"Ratio's note did nothing to convince Aventurine to stay alive, it was all Acheron" - from how I see it, he was fully determined to end his life up until he read that note. Otherwise, why would they introduce the note at all? Why did Acheron feel the need to remind him of it?

"He never wanted to draw the gaze of Nous" and "He still wants it" - we can deduce that it isn't true from different parts of the game (he actually wanted it in the past but doesn't anymore), but that is a direct confirmation:

(I trust Screwllum's opinion.)

"Everybody hates him in-universe" - this is interesting because I even heard this from his fans. And it might sort of feel intuitive, but I don't remember any evidence of that. He literally has an in-universe fan club. People who knew him closely talk about him warmly in his character stories. The only person I remember ever expressing any negativity towards him was some shcolar in the Simulatred Universe, but I don't think it counts. I'll talk more about his students in particular later, but short version: I don't think they hate him either.

"I hate it when he tells me 'Zero points, get out' and throws chalk at me, that's mean" - that's so weirdly specific, but I've seen it a dozen times already. And, like, why??? He tells it to his enemies, not to us. I mean, nobody's angry at Serval for electrocuting her fans with her guitar just because that's what she does in her fighting animation.

Speaking of combat voice lines, if we wait too long, most characters get irritated and try to hurry us up. Meanwhile Ratio:

'That's okay, take your time, it's a turn-based game after all.'

"He's physically abusive to his students, he throws chalk at them" - similar to the previous point. I don't remember any mention of him doing that. The only case of him using physical force against a (potential) student was when, as a TA, he threw away a rich asshole who tried to buy a degree. And yes, in the boring real world, I wouldn't approve of that, but in the world of the game - well done, good ridance!

"He doesn't tolerate people disagreeing with him, he thinks he's always right"

"He's responsible for the crisis at Herta Station" - how though? I saw this opinion several times, and I'm really curious what people mean by that. Did he himself endanger these researchers by teleporting them who knows where, then faked the video from Duke Inferno, and so on? But why stop here while we're at it , maybe he also impersonated Ruan Mei, left the bug on the station, abandoned the poor cat-creatrures and drugged us with a cake?…

"He's worse than Dottore from Genshin" - technically it's a matter of opinion, but I think nobody will mind if I put it in the 'just wrong' category. But yeah, that's an opinion I've heard. I've got no idea what they meant, but it made me think, how many people did he help and save, both in the game and in his past? Probably more than most of the characters we've met so far. And he doesn't seem to discriminate, it's not 'I'll save my people'. He cured that disease for everybody's benefit, he saved Herta's researchers, he helped TB unravel the events on the station and then proceeded to pester them offering his help, he cosideres some troubled IPC executive 'his responsibility' and so on.

"He actually betrayed Aventurine" - no comments. Come on, play the game, read the dialogues.

1.5. A little intermission.

The thing that's hard to deny is that he definitely doesn't mince his words. Whether you see it as him being a rude asshole, being justifiably angry, brutally honest, sarcastic, or snarky, or showing tough love, or just being incapable of expressing himself in an adequate and socially acceptable way, it's up to you. I can understand how some people might be uncomfortable with that. I personally find it an interesting character trait. (I mean, he isn't even capable of expressing positive feelings in a normal way, what did you expect of him?):

There is also a very interesting (but rather confusing) thing that can be missed if you are unwilling to see further than the initial shallow impression, but it is impossible to unsee once you've noticed it. He sees himself as a teacher in two very different ways. It can be missed at first because both ways are described in very similar words. These ways are: 

a teacher in a traditional sense (let's call it 'academic teacher'); 

and as something akin to a 'life coach', just helping people and making them realize that they shloud (and can) rely on themselves.

The thing is, we never see him in his 'academic teacher' role. As far as we know, he only acts this way with his university students. We never see him teaching anybody any scientific stuff, or berating people for their lack of knowledge and education. Yet he says that he considers everybody his students. But what does he mean if it's not about knowledge? He means it in the second 'life coach' meaning. Therefore, he sees literally everybody as worthy of his help and support.

BTW, I feel like his main problem as a character is that people tend to settle on the first impression they get of him and are unwilling to see further than that. Meanwhile, the game continues to explore his personality, revealing that most things about him are actually the opposite of what they might seem at first. That's why so many people think that he calls everybody idiots for being less smart than him, that he's egoistic and unfeeling, that he values knowledge above all, and so on. So if you actually have interest in him as a character, I'd encourage you to look at him more closely.

2. Now to the things that are more open to interpretation.

"He uses mean words" -to be honest, I'm not a big fan of writers making him use these words (idiots, fools, stupidity, and so on) because, first, they are usually used as just empty insults. (I'm curious whether he uses similar words in Chinese or something more nuanced). So I can understand how it can put some people off. And the second problem is that it feels like he means different things every time he uses these words. It's quite confusing. Here is a post where people helped me find different cases of him using these words; you can check it out yourself.

Let's look closer at some of these cases: 

-'While geniuses wander among the stars, the ordinary can't even trace their footsteps. Those less gifted have no choice but to walk alone, enduring a lifetime of tumbles and triumphs. But even a life marked by failure is a life worth living — it is only in moments of solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up' He seems to contrast geniuses with fools here, so fools are everybody who's not a genius. So if you are inclined to see him this way, if you squint, you can technically see it as him insulting people based on their intellectual abilities, right?… Except, he includes himself among these fools, so no:

So it's basically 'all who are not geniuses are fools, including me'. Which is an interesting way to put it, but it definitely doesn't mean ''you are all fools for not being as smart as me''.

But he mostly uses these words when he talks about his fellow scholars:

-'First, with the headpiece on, isolated from my five senses, I can think without interference. And second, I don't have to set eyes on stupid people' - we only see him wearing the plaster head on Herta's Station, a place full of the most brilliant minds in the universe. We never see him using it again with normal people, so the word 'stupid' here can't be about people's intelligence.

There is also an interesting little detail:

He admires her intelligence (although in a sarcastic manner) in his 'about Herta' voiceline. He doesn't wear his 'anti-stupid' mask when he's with TB or Aventurine, but he always wears it with Herta. Which is very telling, and indicates again what he means by 'stupid'.

Some other examples:

-'(…)the fools from the Guild with ambitions beyond stars should be banished from my sight and thereby mind' -'Don't invert priorities like these dolts from the guild' -'I cannot stand fools, idiots, or imbeciles. Seeing them fills me with dread. Regrettably, this space station is just like the Intelligentsia Guild — devoid of geniuses and filled with mediocrity' -'Ah, the Technology Department. Charming little place, isn't it? Madam Yabuli does possess some semblance of competence, but her subordinates? Oh, they're a riot — brimming with enthusiasm yet utterly devoid of intellect. It's as if evolution halted prematurely for them'

He is absolutely RUTHLESS when he talks about scientists, because he expects a lot from them.

So no, I don't think he'd call you an idiot for not being an A student, or having learning difficulties, or just lacking an interest in learning. He absolutely would though if you were a brilliant scientist, priveledged with great education, resources, and a personal lab, squandering your talents and funds on a useless vanity project, or hoarding potentially life-saving knowledge for yourself, to use as a commodity.

"But he does call people idiots!" - I've noticed that most of the time he uses these 'insults' he talks about some groups of people.

I could only think of 3 times when he called an individual an idiot. He calls Aventurine an idiot because he 'lost' the stones (but it doesn't count because he plays a role and pretends that he hates Aven). A scholar in an event in SU complains of Ratio calling him an idiot (I'm not sure it actually happened, it's just a story in SU).

But there is one case of him calling somebody an idiot and actually meaning it. And who is this poor victim of his terrible verbal abuse? It's himself. Whoops. (speaking of how he's supposedly full of himself and thinks that he's better than the others.)

"He would call me an idiot because of my supposed lack of knowledge/education/intelligence" - I showed in the previous point why I think he wouldn't (he never seems to use these words to mean that).

But also consider this. During his interactions with Aventurine on Penacony Ratio mostly plays a role for Sunday, pretending that he despises Aventurine. That's why we can't draw any conclusions about his personality from most of their dialogues. But the moments when he breaks the role are extremely telling.

Let's look at one of them from the beginning. They argue; Ratio calls Aventurine an idiot for 'ruining their plan'. And then Aventurine mentions that he didn't go to school and lacks formal education. If there ever was a good time to call someone an idiot for being uneducated, that's it! That's what Sunday expects to hear (because his plan hinges on Ratio valuing knowledge above all else).

And what does he do? He fucking apologizes! Even for the role and for the sake of their plan, he can't bring himself to insult someone for being uneducated.

"He's mean to TB" - it's a matter of interpretation, but his behavior with us didn't strike me as mean or demeaning. He was just being sarcastic and snarky as always (and I understand that it's not everybody's cup of tea).

The situation was time-sensitive and precarious. We don't know how much control he had over it. He tried to make us realize what's going on as fast as possible, pretending that he himself is clueless. Because his goal was to show the recearchers that despite the presence of 2-3 geniuses on board, none of them were able to save them. If he just publicly saved everybody, it would be just another genius appearing out of nowhere and saving the day, which would go against his goals and his philosophy.

And later, our TB seems to regard him with a mix of respect and amusement (calling him Professor, asking for an autograph), no resentment here. So TB didn't think he was mean either.

"He values knowledge above all, he's obsessed with teaching people stuff, and he doesn't understand/accept that other people might have other priorities" - I'd argue that literally the opposite is true. He doesn't impose his knowledge on anybody against their will, and we never see him berate anybody for their lack of knowledge or education.

Sunday isn't the first person to misunderstand him that badly, and he's not having it. Even though at this point in the story, his and Aventurine's plan hinges on Sunday's misunderstanding. But I think his position is very clear: pursuit of knowledge above all is a matter of petty pride.

He says it when we ask him why he doesn't nag us about getting our act together, before a party. So basically "if learning makes you feel bad (doesn't enhance your living) then you are doing it wrong, go and have fun".

This probably isn't considered canon, but it illustrates how he sees knowledge. Here is an analogy. If I had an apple orchard, and I thought my apples were awesome and they'd make a great gift, and you should feel free to ask me if you want some. It doesn't mean that I shove my apples into people's mouths against their will and then call them idiots and spit on them when they don't like it.

"He's a bad person because he didn't help us fight the big bug" - he knew who we are. It's not in his habit to directly involve himself where he's not needed, it would go against his philosophy ('you should count on yourself; you can do it'). It's not like he left us to die; he must have known how capable our TB is. BTW, he was still looking after us, seemingly ready to come to our help:

Besides, currently nothing indicates that (outside of the turn-based gameplay) he's anything more than a normal human being. He would be a hindrance in a fight. 

"He's a bad teacher" - (first, here is an interesting post about this from the point of view of an actual teacher)

So yeah, it's about the 3% passing rate. Yes, it can mean that only 3% of his students end up learning something. It's possible that he's such a bumbling idiot of a teacher that he doesn't even understand how bad he is. It's possible that he's somehow still allowed to teach despite being THAT bad.

But I think it's much more possible (and consistent with his philosophy) that he just has very high standards. A 3% rate doesn't mean that only 3% know anything. Students might benefit enormously from his classes, even without passing. They still have all their valuable skills and knowledge.

But also, let's not forget that he doesn't teach children. He teaches at the university. And I don't think it's some 101 basics; it's likely something related to his research and discoveries, some extremely advanced cutting-edge stuff. So his students are already extremely well educated adults, who want to achieve more. He would probably see lowering his standards as a betrayal of his students.

"His students hate him" - I didn't get that impression. On the contrary, they seem quite interested in him (some times in really creepy ways):

The only indication that they might have something against him is this:

It's either a literal roll-call of actual adults who shed literal tears during his classes, or it's just students being their normal cheeky selves, being overdramatic about a strict teacher. 

An example that came to mind: I can whine about how ruthless my gym trainer is and how I couldn't walk for a week after the last leg day. And his other clients would agree. But everybody understands that it's an expression of approval, not contempt. And maybe a bit of a humble brag.

Besides, if we decide to take that post at face value, then we'll have to take this literally too, meaning that his students consider him an actual God. And I don't think it's true:

-------------------

There are still a lot of hot takes I disagree with that I haven't mentioned, but I'm too tired. This took WAY too long. Other cases are mostly quote-mining and deliberatly taking what he says out of context, which isn't very interesting to argue against (just read the full dialogue and consider the context). And also different variations on 'he's an asshole, he hates people, he thinks he's better than others, he'd call you an idiot for this or that, he's elitist, he only values knowledge and intelligence' and so on, but I think I addressed it sufficiently.

So yeah, that was my little character research. This wasn't written for his haters (I dislike some characters myself, and I wouldn't probably read 3K words about how I should change my mind). It was rather for the people who kind of like him, but who feel sad thinking how he'd probably call them idiots or something. I hope I was able to help you see him in a different way. He wouldn't call you an idiot, he'd support you.

[emelinstriker]

{Twice As Bad AU} Wukong & Macaque ♤ Even Little Things

Art drawn by me.

My little take on @semisolidmind's TAB AU due to peeps asking me to cover that as an X Reader ever since that one doodle I once did for it.

As usual, tweaked some things a bit in the AU just for the sake of the plot- And also cuz I haven't really kept track of all the canon things in the AU, so I'm mostly just using the basic premise of the AU and added/removed some things for the story twist, humor and all that. So please don't take it as canon y'all-

Also, I speedran this within three days to post it earlier than planned, so... Happy birthday, Semi! Have 4k words of ya bois as birthday gift, I guess. :D

TW: Descriptions of death and gore

[TL;DR] Monke have 'yummy' berry if customer have coin.

♤ ~ Emotional Mix ~ ♤

It started out as a regular day at the market for you.

You owned a little stall where you would sell berries you and your little monkey friends collected. You kept on insisting that you wanted to collect them on your own, but the two ginger-furred and dark-furred monkeys just wouldn't leave you alone. Though, their kindness and willingness to help you did prove useful in the end. You managed to garner a lot of berries by the end of the day. How they managed to get them all? You would never know. You didn't exactly question it much either due to how many you were able to sell. Sales were pretty good today as well... And as per usual, your two little monkeys were practically guarding you and your stall, which you found really adorable. They looked like two innocent and fluffy puppies looking out for their beloved owner. And their cuteness did definitely contribute to your berry selling success.

Though, while they were pretty quiet and polite towards your customers that were just there to buy berries, there were some they truly didn't like to have around you at all... More specifically, those who showed even the slightest bit of romantic interest towards you.

Especially that farmer boy.

God, they really hated that guy for some reason.

Even if they just saw him walk across the street, far away from where you actually were, they would already start letting out aggressive sounds of pure hatred. Meanwhile you would just awkwardly wave at the poor guy. Though, besides the few customers that had interest in you, your monkeys were pretty well-behaved when you were around. You found it adorable how they would even help fill up tiny bags with berries like little helpers. And if they weren't doing that, they would either sit or lie around on your stall or cling onto you while you worked. They especially loved body contact with you, so they mostly clung onto you. All they wanted in return for their help was your affection, oddly enough. No snack either, just affection. You only had to give them little kisses or cuddle them a bit and they were already melting in your arms. Another cute thing they would do whenever you were selling berries was to give you gifts...

Well, it certainly sounds cute in theory.

However, their gifts ranged from not only some simple shiny rocks and flowers, but also to literal little animals and insects... Which were usually alive whenever they were the dark-furred monkey's gift, but were most definitely always dead in the ginger-furred monkey's case. Of course, you would still praise them as to not upset them... And while they were highly aware of your discomfort whenever they brought in animals and insects, they just ignored it. Then again, you never thought much of it since in your eyes, they were just monkeys. Just two simple, silly, little monkeys. Why would they respect your discomforts when they couldn't even talk?

Well, despite your little monkeys not being able to talk to you, they did seem to understand you. Which felt really nice, considering most in the village either didn't trust you or enjoy talking to you... So their company was very endearing and appreciated.

Especially in certain moments...

"What do you mean you're out of berries?" A tough-looking man asked, definitely pissed off. So you tried to stay calm and defuse the situation as best as you could.

"Sorry, sir... But all berries are already sold out. The last batch was sold a few minutes ago. B-But you could come back tomorrow and-" "I don't have the fucking time to come back tomorrow! I need those berries now!" He rudely cut you off.

"I, uh, understand, sir, but-" "I know you still have berries in stock! I can see a bunch in the basket over there!" He cut you off again, yelling in your face as he pointed towards the basket behind you. You grimaced a little in discomfort.

"Sir, those are berries I'll deliver after work to a woman who already paid for them-" "Then give her that money back or some shit, will ya?! Just give me those damn berries instead already!" The man looked like he would jump behind the stall's counter any moment now to launch himself at you, when you suddenly heard very familiar growling coming from behind the man... He turned around, only to see two small monkeys glaring furiously at him.

The man scoffed. "The fuck are those doing here? Are those your pets or some shit?" You gave your monkeys worried glances, not wanting them to get involved and get hurt. This man looked tough and would have no problem getting rid of two little monkeys...

But your monkeys were different.

Instead of backing down, they slowly approached the man aggressively on all fours. Their tails were dangerously swaying behind them as they snarled at him... While they could tolerate the presence of customers in most cases, this was one of the few cases where they really were just out to murder. All they needed was an opening...

Wukong then seemingly stopped snarling for a moment as he whispered something extremely quietly, to which Macaque nodded. While Macaque continued to aggressively approach the man, his brother gave the man one last glare before running up to you instead, launching himself at you. Startled, you stumbled back a bit as he jumps at you. And with seemingly extreme strength, he managed to knock you down to the ground behind your stall. Your stall obscured your vision of the man and your other monkey. You groaned a bit in pain before you looked at the ginger-furred monkey, who just smiled at you with a love-struck gaze. He didn't attack you or anything, his tail just swayed happily as he nuzzled you. You, of course, were confused by his sudden mood change. "Why did you tackle me-"

Then, you heard a scream from the man for just a split second before the other monkey's snarling suddenly stopped. Everything was silent. Suspicious and confused, you held the ginger-furred monkey against your chest while he continued to happily nuzzle into you. You then stood back up and looked towards the front of your stall... The man was gone. But the dark-furred monkey was still there, sitting contently like a good boy where the man once was. His tail happily swayed behind him as well as if nothing ever happened just now...

The man's decomposing body was found hanging from a tree by his own guts in the forest a few days later. According to those who found his corpse, his body was completely mangled. His face was seemingly ripped or mauled off, displaying his skull with his eyes missing. His rib cage seemed to have been crushed and his abdomen was torn wide open. Part of his organs were missing, and a single bloody peach was found buried inside the body. His tongue was ripped off and literally stuffed down his throat, as if it were there to tell him to forever keep quiet... Not to mention all his broken bones that were not just simply snapped, but crushed into pieces. The entire scene was extremely horrifying for those that saw his remains. Some sort of brutal demon must've killed him. Yet the reasons were unknown as to why this man would be murdered in such a gruesome way... What did the man think in his last moments? Was he immediately dead or was he tortured alive? The people of the village seemed to mentally point their fingers in your direction, however. Especially due to how you were one of the last people they saw him with.

That was just one of the strange happenings surrounding you and your monkey companions.

Something else the villagers noticed was the other rather recent murder cases looked similar, though less brutal. Whoever, or whatever, killed the other people also killed this man. But the other victims usually only had their abdomens be ripped open and their organs ripped out, for whatever reason... Though, they all were found with a single bloody peach inside them.

And of course, villagers kept you in mind as a major suspect. Which was sort of understandable since all those people were people who basically told you to get lost and fuck off, telling you that you don't belong in their community. The more people suspected you to be at least involve in the serial murders, the less people would stop by your berry stall. Which in turn made you feel sad and confused... Did you do something wrong?

Your two little monkeys noticed your guilt and self-doubt creeping in, and they didn't like seeing you beat yourself like this over whatever those other humans thought of you.

Thus, they decided now was the time to make themselves known and 'save' you from this unworthy village.

And what better way than to go out with a bang?

So, they decided to help 'sell' some berry bags personally and directly. They packed them up themselves again and snuck into peoples' houses, taking some of their coins and leaving a bag of berries everywhere they went. The two of them were extremely helpful. They came back to you with coins everytime, so you assumed they managed to sell their little bags to happy customers. All would be fine again soon...

...At least, that's what you had hoped.

News spread fast in the village.

A death was reported in the east.

Another further north.

Few more in the west.

The southern area seemed to have multiple dead people already...

People were dropping dead like flies everywhere within the span of just a single day...

The entire panic rising within the village only seemed to enhance your uneasiness as well. You were mostly outside around your stall after all... What if this so called serial killer found you? Or perhaps there was a deadly virus going around and you shouldn't even be outside in the first place...

You held your monkeys close in worry as you feared for their and your own safety, standing behind your stall once more. While you were feeling uneasy, your monkey companions only seemed all too happy and content with no care in the world as you let them nuzzle into you with cute little chirps. Sighing, you looked at all the berries you still haven't managed to sell. Feeling a little hungry, you decided to eat a few of the berries you had. After taking one of the berry bags the monkeys had packed, you grabbed a few of the berries and were about to eat them.

Suddenly, the ginger-furred one stopped you by quickly switching from clinging onto your chest to clinging onto the arm that was holding the berries, stretching his body from your arm up to your hand to clasp his own little hands around it, keeping you from eating the berry. He looked at you with seemingly slightly concerned eyes, shaking his head as he let out quiet noises, which sounded like he was begging you not to eat them. It was strange how strong this little monkey actually was... His tiny hands were preventing you from even opening your hand. The dark-furred monkey also seemed to join in on stopping you from consuming those berries as he nuzzles into your neck, wrapping his tail around the arm that's holding the bag. The sight must've looked funny to others if they were passing by, to be honest.

Confused, you decide to just listen to the monkeys and not eat the berries... Maybe they were just upset that you'd wanna unpack and eat the berries they had so nicely packed for customers earlier. Which would make sense.

Another day had passed and...

Where was everyone?

You set up your bags at your stall and were patiently waiting for someone, anyone, to even just walk past. However, everything was silent for a few hours. Dead silent for a village that had a bunch of gossip going around. Not even your monkey companions were following you this morning, oddly enough. This only added to your fear since those little guys were like your comfort pets.

Another hour passed and finally some sound was heard in the distance. Were those... screams?

Now more on edge than ever, you decided that maybe you should sit this day out on trying to sell... You didn't exactly want to lose your life to some massacre or virus after all. A bit panicked by the scream, you quickly tried to pack up the little berry bags into a basket. But as you were starting to pack up, you could hear a male voice fake coughing to grab your attention. Startled by the sudden noise after all the dead silence, you almost dropped one bag before you turned to face the person in front of your stall... Or, uh... Monkey...?

This dark-furred monkey seemed familiar... Maybe he was related to one of your little monkey friends?

He smirked at you as he leaned against the stall, his tail swaying slowly behind him. "Hey there, sugarplum. Did I arrive a bit too late? My brother and I heard you sell delicious berries here."

You waved your hand dismissively, nervous as you never had a monkey, or rather a demon in this case, being a customer. The nickname was also making you a little nervous, but maybe he was just one of those people who give everyone they see nicknames. "Oh- No, no- You're not late- I just... Didn't think I would get any customers today..."

He leaned in a bit closer to you. "Oh? Why's that? Aren't your berries said to be the best in this village though?"

"Uh, well... Yes, but usually some customers would've already bought some at this time in the day... But you'd be my first customer today." You admitted sheepishly. He only seemed to grin... You didn't know he could hear your anxious heartbeat. He knew you didn't exactly feel safe. But you were still trying to be calm and polite towards even a dangerous-looking demon him. Which he found cute. That's when his ear twitched as he heard something you couldn't hear, making his grin turn into a more... seductive one.

"I'm actually not here to buy any of those bags you're offering. I am interested in one specific berry from your stall, however."

You blinked at him in confusion. "...What berry? They're all pretty much the same?"

"Not all of them." He responded. The simian chuckled as he looked at you with intent. "There's one berry my brother and I have been keeping a close eye on for quite a while now, and we want to claim that berry for ourselves... It simply sticks out. Just like a delicious peach amongst a bunch of mediocre berries. My brother's words, not mine. But I do have to agree with him on this one." He then leaned in a little closer to you, still giving you this sort of seductive grin. "And as an honorable and kind merchant, surely you would love to fulfill a customer's simple request... Right?"

His deep voice made him sound so smooth, but his words and the way he said them also just sounded... Off... This was not a regular exchange for food, that much you could tell. But before you could reply, you heard another voice coming from behind you. "Well, well, well... How's business? Did I miss anything, Macaque?" You turned around in shock, noticing a ginger-furred simian behind you. Some sort of red and gold staff is held loosely on his shoulder as he smirked. Though, the thing that set you off the most were the clear blood spots on his fur, his clothes, and especially on one side of his staff...

"Nah, you didn't miss a thing. I was just mentioning what we wanted to 'buy'." Macaque responded with a shrug as he leaned back a bit, though still resting with his arms on the stall's counter.

They could clearly tell you were scared. And of course, as your beloved monkeys, they wanted to make you feel as comfortable around them as possible. So, maybe a little bit of an introduction would make things easier. The ginger-furred monkey raised his free hand with a little wave, smiling kindly as if he didn't just murder humans a few minutes ago. "Hey, peaches! My name is Sun Wukong. Legendary Monkey King and Great Sage Equal To Heaven! Also strongest demon you'll ever see as well as the most sexy monkey in existence- Aaaanyway, this is my sworn brother, and second-in-command, the Six-Eared Macaque." He said to break the ice, gesturing towards the dark-furred monkey as well.

"Just call me Macaque. And him Wukong." Macaque added with a bit of a shrugging hand motion. Then he moves his hand just enough to point towards his brother with a taunting, shit-eating grin. "It's much easier than Six-Eared Macaque and whatever the fuck long ass title Wukong decided to give himself." He grins smugly, to which Wukong huffs in a rather arrogant way.

"Well, excuse me for having achieved more in life than you." Wukong retorted.

"Great Sage Equal To Heaven was not an achievement if you practically begged for it."

"But Warlord was."

"You didn't even name that title in your introduction though??"

"I didn't wanna make them feel more anxious than they already are, okay??"

"And since when are you the most sexy monkey in existence?? That's bullshit and you know it."

"Hey! That title may be a tiny bit opinion-based, but it is an accurate description of me."

"Could you stop letting your ego go to your head for like five minutes? I'm still the brains in this duo. And the brain doesn't need the muscle's ego surrounding it."

"...Okay, now this is getting fucking personal, you goddamn hypocrite-"

To be honest, you weren't exactly scared at this moment anymore, just confused and uncomfortable due to them arguing and practically being so close to just claw at each other's throats over petty titles. Macaque rolled his eyes at Wukong before turning back to you, trying to get back on topic to avoid Wukong getting pissed at him over nothing again. "So about that 'peach amongst berries' talk-" Suddenly, Wukong quickly wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against his blood-stained armor with a grin. His annoyed mood immediately flipped like a switch to a more love-struck one again.

"Oh? Did our peaches agree? Was my pick-up line enough to convince them~? Did you tell them about the real us yet?" He hummed. You grimaced a bit in discomfort at him suddenly touching you so casually. Especially because you could tell he reeked of death... Was... Was he the one who killed those people...? The more you thought about it, the more connections clicked in your mind... The peach references, the way people described the latest murder of the man who yelled at you, the fact that for some reason it's all connected to literal demon monkeys...

Your heartbeat rose up, making Macaque smirk. "Well, not verbally... But I think they're starting to understand what's happening on their own. What a smart human we've picked!"

"Y-You- Wh- Wait what-" You stammered out in shock, definitely now more scared than ever before. Wukong quickly picked you up into his arms after making his staff seemingly disappear into thin air. His strength was no joke either as he clearly didn't struggle at all in holding you. His tail was happily moving behind him in excitement.

"C'mon, Macaque. We got what we came here for." Wukong stated as he walked a bit further away from your stall. You attempted to escape by trying to move out of his grip, but despite barely even gripping onto you, you were simply just flailing around a bit, clearly unable to escape your cage that were his arms. He simply ignored your attempt at an escape as he smiled contently, giving you a very familiar love-struck look...

That reminded you of your little monkey companions. Your heartbeat spiked and Macaque took notice. He raised an eyebrow at you in confusion because your heartbeat didn't change much since you started flailing in Wukong's arms. "Is something wrong, (Y/N)?"

You stopped in shock, looking at the dark-furred monkey with wide eyes. "W-Wh... H-How do you know my name?"

Ah. Right, right. You didn't know yet.

Macaque chuckled as he cupped your cheek with you still in his brother's arms. "Well, you see... We sorta picked up your name during the weeks, or I guess months at this point, when we were helping you around the village. You know, packing up berries and all that... We even made sure the latest batches had the freshest type of toxin for the best quality!" He grinned maliciously as he crossed his arms. Your mouth hung agape in shock as some tears gathered in your eyes...

"You... Y-You were those two monkeys...?" You asked quietly in disbelief... All those deaths... If they put those toxic berries in the bags you were paid for... Didn't that automatically make you a form of accomplice in their schemes? And you got paid for basically allowing them to kill all these people. You started to sob, "...Oh my god... No, no, no... This- T-This can't be- I-I would never h-help... kill- I-I d-didn't mean t-to-"

Wukong then leaned his head down a bit to kiss your forehead with a faint blush and a soft smile. "Shhh... It's fine, peaches. Don't cry. You can just put all the blame on us if that helps." He said quietly, trying to sound comforting. The warlord clearly didn't care about all the dead people, he only cared about wanting to see you smile. He summoned some form of cloud and hopped onto it with you still trapped in his arms. Then he gave his second-in-command a malicious grin. "Macaque, I'll take them home. Sweep through the village one last time. If anyone is still alive, you know what to do."

Macaque returned his own malicious grin as he bowed a little. And with his bow, a shadow-like portal opened up beneath him, swallowing him into the ground. Meanwhile, you could only helplessly watch as Wukong made his cloud fly high up into the skies at pretty high speeds. If you managed to escape his grasp now, you would just be dead. Looking back towards your village, you could see bodies lying outside, most had no blood as they probably died to the berries, but some were clearly attacked earlier by Wukong... You also witnessed houses collapsing within giant flames...

Even the sky above the village itself seemed to look doomed from afar...

You could even still see another human begging for help before being tortured by Macaque's shadows...

You were just silently crying as Wukong took you away to Flower Fruit Mountain, which would soon become your new home. Whether you would like it or not. You were theirs now. And it all simply started with some small berries...

If only you had known that even the littlest of things could snowball you down to hell.

[ Masterlist ]

[yandere-sins]

Okay so I feel a bit silly about this, but I just have to ask at some point. To keep it short, I wonder if Dr Ratio has already had his first time and if he even has sex often. I mean he is a grown adult at all. Don't see me as a horny Dr Ratio simp, I'm just interested and little things like that always make me like a character even more. I would be happy if you would answer this question :)♡

Why feel silly? We love all kinds of sexual status here, especially when it's someone as delicious as Ratio! Also, I appoint you simp from now on, because we should be simping for him (but don't be like me and have him in your team just for aesthetics bc my Ratio makes no damage at all! :D And that's okay... :'D)

As wonderful as our Doc is, this is a very open-to-interpretation question. You can honestly go both ways with him, and we'll never know because... he probably wouldn't even tell or show any signs to his darling how much experience he has once he gets with them ;)

Maybe he is a virgin and a very stoic and pathetic one at that. In his pursuit of making knowledge more accessible to every "idiot", there isn't much time for personal needs. I totally see him pass out from sleep deprivation despite being horny and then suppress his morning wood with a cold shower, even though he's really not happy about it. No one knows why he's so upset, but they all avoid him on mornings like that. There's no way he never put a hand on himself in all these years, but he won't know the blessing that comes when someone else does it, until he meets his darling.

It's an instant game over for him, Veritas unable to form a complete sentence when he first meets you, his cock springing up, precum staining his clothes. It threatens to burst out of his pants, hard and agitated and in desperate need to be treated to its first experience of intercourse. He tries to play it cool with a faint blush on his cheeks, tries his usual spiel of pretending he's better than you after catching his composure immediately, always gauging your reactions and wanting to see them to fuel his desire. All while completely hiding the fact that he wants to drop to his knees and hump your feet.

That night, jerking off is more like ripping off as he just can't stop the thoughts of you invading his mind and making him hard again and again. His whole bed is sullied, the tissue box empty, the Doctor is panting and blushing and immediately reminded of how plump and soft your lips were. Or your ass as you walked away from him. The sparkle in your eyes and the few exposed spots of skin in your outfit. And then his thoughts are going wild with you bent over on his bed, exposing yourself to him, your giggles and moans replaying in his ears, although he made all of them up. Honestly, he's a bit ashamed afterward for losing his composure quite like that.

It doesn't make him any less pathetic when he finally gets his hands on you. You might be fighting and hating him, but he tied you up exactly the way he needs so he can fuck your thighs or pry your pretty lips open to stuff your mouth with his thick cock. And you never disappoint him in that regard. You'll still be as amazing, making him cum almost instantly the first few times, after being with him for years. Ratio will still yearn for the warmth of your body around his dick decades down the line, and he'll greet you with the same enthusiasm (just more stamina and better technique) every time he comes home to you. You two really grow together; isn't that sweet? ;)

OR

Man's still stoic and pathetic, but not with all those partners he had over the years, oh no. It's really bothersome to him to actually let one of those groupies get a piece of his cake, and he doesn't do it because his mind wants to. But it's just normal to fulfill a need he has, right? Veritas doesn't bed some random person (who found him super hot and practically ogled him all evening) for pleasure or enjoyment. Even less for payment, though some people try to buy his time and affection.

In short, he's a miserable lover.

We should feel bad for the people thinking he's going to blow their minds. It's not like he hurts them or anything, but he does his thing and leaves, telling anyone who's confused and dissatisfied that he didn't enjoy it much, either. He got to finish; that's all that matters to him. He's really awful to these poor souls; we can't deny it.

But then he met you, and everything changed. You are constantly on his mind, the underside of his table stained with remnants of cum as he savagely had to jerk himself up to free his thoughts again. But it doesn't really help, and he imagines doing things with you on his table, books, honestly, everywhere. Ratio has to flee any function if someone there happens to have the same perfume as you because he cannot control himself once reminded of you. And in the bitterness of moaning your name in an empty room, his cock mangled and still hard despite previous jerk-off sessions, he decided he has to have you, just so he can get a remnant of himself back. 

He is reading up on how to be a better lover as he fingers you simultaneously, observing your reactions and even going down on you... for research, of course. No one knew he'd get drunk on bringing you pleasure. On learning that the reason you were feeling so damn good was his work. Sure, it boosts his ego, but you have no idea what it does to him to see your eyes dazed, your expression twisting. He teases you, but it gets him off quicker than anything else when you admit how good you feel. He'll be grinning from ear to ear the following day, remembering what you said, only to pretend he wasn't reveling in the memories when you catch him. He loves teasing you, kissing every part of your body while you squirm, knowing it turns him even more on than it does you. It's a good thing you need so much convincing, so he can satisfy his greed for you plenty before the real deal begins.

Suddenly, sex is so much more interesting when he does it with you, no matter how much you complain in the beginning—your moans say otherwise. You may hate him, but gods, does he love the look on your face when you're overstimulated, and Ratio is only getting started, making you arch your back as he plunges into you, your legs quivering around his head. Drawing out the act and letting you 'suffer' is so much more delicious and enjoyable than anything he had with another person before. He doesn't even wonder if it would have changed anything for his feelings had he done his research with the partners he fucked before. Only you can make his heart race, get him drunk on your juices, and look like an angel in his sheets covered in his cum. It's only you, it's only ever been you, and he'll never let that go.

Because no matter how much you simp for him, he'll always simp more for you ;)

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR 2. YAP CENTRAL EP.135: alpha male podcasts?!

WARNiNGS » pop culture references, profanity, errrm cant rlly think of anything else

3.6k words (IMSORRY), also it may be a bit confusing but its kind of written like an audio transcript! not all written parts will be like this only the podcast episodes! also this is NOT proofread so pls excuse any typos or grammar mistakes 😞😞

episode desc -  enjoy your stay today in yap central :D ! in todays episode we started off with a deep question about love and relationships and gave our inputs on that. after allll those deep talks we did a good ole blind ranking forms of ‘first dates’. following that up we mention alpha male podcasts and why they should be indefinitely wiped off the face of the earth. to wrap things up we discuss proper aux etiquette *COUGH* kat *COOUGHHH*. hope you had fun with us today and come back to visit yap central! 

*the set up is a big living room, there’s two couches, mics propped up. the room has a very calming aura, there’s fairy lights and blankets on the couches. as well as plushies and throw pillows. on the couch to the left, kat, riki, and you are seated, adjusting your seating positions to be comfortable. on the couch to the right, jungwon, giselle, and sunoo are seated. jungwon sits back down after standing and gets comfortable*

jungwon: okay the camera is on now 

sunoo: kat i can’t take your costume seriously 

*all laugh in unison, riki is pointing at her, laughing and even after everyone is done he still can’t stop.* 

yn: for audio listeners we’re dressed as mario kart characters and kat is.. 

kat: YOSHI *in yoshi voice* 

riki: *still laughing* it’s the tail man 

giselle: this might be the best theme we’ve had so far 

sunoo: no no the one where we switched clothes was funny 

*girls laugh at the memory, jungwon groans and rolls his eyes* 

jungwon: okay no the girls chose bad clothes on purpose that day 

riki: i think we were set up 

yn: i lost a beloved crop top that day 

jungwon: it was way too tight around my arms! 

giselle: that’s surprising considering you have noodle arms 

riki: false *makes buzzer sound with mouth* he actually has been going to the gym more often 

kat: what improvement won *claps* 

sunoo: oh my god did i tell you guys about the comments on my skin care video with jungwon 

yn: no? the one where you opened the PR package right?

kat: wait can you give me some of those? 

giselle: yeah same 

sunoo: of course, thank you dr jart by the way for the package! *he looks to the camera, giving a peace sign* 

jungwon: what the hell were the comments?

sunoo: no yeah basically some of them were like oh how cute, or just about the skincare then the others were saying me and jungwon were a cute couple. 

*riki moves the mic away to laugh at sunoo, you and jungwon gasp.* 

kat: honestly i was expecting ship edits of me and yn 

yn: SAME! 

giselle: that’s so cute you guys are official!

*riki continues to laugh while jungwon glares at giselle, then looks to the camera* 

jungwon: me and sunoo aren’t dating hate to break it to you all

sunoo: you aren’t even my type calm down 

riki: rejected in front of the whole world how do you feel jungwon? 

jungwon: anyways beep- 

giselle: wait before we sign in can we get a water break 

yn: yeah i have to go to the bathroom

jungwon: i literally told you guys to go before 

yn: would you want me to piss on your carpet 

giselle: how would twitter feel knowing you let your editor go thirsty

jungwon: *sighs* go hurry up 

*you and giselle walk out of the room, talking but mics cannot pick it up* 

kat: did you guys see the whole brooke schofield and clinton kane thing? 

sunoo: oh my god yeah.. that shit is crazy 

riki: what happened 

sunoo & kat: basically- oh no you go first 

jungwon: one of you say it 

*kat looks to sunoo, nodding for him to speak* 

sunoo: basically brooke, the co host on cancelled, dated this singer named clinton kane and he full blown LIED about every aspect of their relationship like he said his whole family died but they didn’t and he faked having an australian accent. 

riki: rip you can’t make your mom jokes

jungwon: *laughs* no but there’s no way 

kat: no yeah and she made like a tiktok series kind of exposing him and they’re just going back to back. 

riki: what does this dude look like 

sunoo: *snorts* look him up on tiktok. clinton kane 

*both riki and jungwon get out their phones, typing away. the two of them look at their phones then each other. jungwon and riki start laughing* 

kat: i know! like how did she date him *laughs* 

jungwon: brooke dated HIM? 

sunoo: YES! that’s what i’m saying 

jungwon: look at his teeth he probably has gingivitis 

kat: ugh his breath probably stinks all the time 

*you and giselle come back into the room, confused at the conversation at hand and taking your seats. riki stares at his phone confused then looks to everyone else* 

riki: wait he’s not a ginger 

yn: what? 

riki: his hair is brown idiot 

jungwon: wait what are you talking about 

sunoo: riki are you on the right account stupid 

riki: i literally am. you said he has gingivitis, he’s literally not ginger 

*giselle gasps and starts laughing, causing the others to laugh. riki laughs nervously* 

riki: what

giselle: gingivitis means the tar on your teeth, not being a ginger 

sunoo: oh my god *wiping his tears away, still laughing* 

*riki groans, making everyone laugh, once collected jungwon clears his throat, sitting up* 

yn: thank god we came back to that 

giselle: i know

riki: okay guys that’s enough it’s not that funny

sunoo: oh it is. 

jungwon: alright, can we sign in now? 

*jungwon looks to everyone and they nod, each getting comfortable in their spot* 

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central im your co host for today, mario. 

riki: and i am your second host, luigi

jungwon: starting from the far left we have 

kat: yoshi *in yoshi voice, waving to the camera* 

yn: princess daisy! *you show your crown, smiling.* 

giselle: princess peach! *she gives the camera a peace sign.* 

sunoo: and i’m toad *he giggles at his hat, the top of the toad.*

yn: i think out of everyone’s i love kats costume 

*kat laughs, pulling her yoshi onesie hood over her head. making the others laugh and smile at her.* 

jungwon: she’s so lucky she’s in a onesie me and riki have these stupid ass gloves 

riki: i don’t know man it’s kinda sick 

sunoo: *taking a sip of his water* is it not uncomfortable 

giselle: it’s giving mickey mouse 

riki: it’s giving your mom 

sunoo: guys riki discovered your mom jokes today 

kat: well your mom has ligma 

sunoo: the fuck is ligma 

yn & kat: LIGMA BALLS!!!! 

*everyone bursts out laughing at the immature joke. sunoo does not look amused yet still laughs along*

jungwon: it’s the way i saw it coming too 

riki: i saw your mom coming 

yn: pause?? 

sunoo: oh that’s not 

giselle: boyfriend! i’m nervous! 

*you, kat and giselle all giggle at her little reference* 

riki: wait no- 

jungwon: dude my mom watches this 

riki: i’m sorry miss yang i didn’t mean it 

jungwon: SHES MARRIED. 

riki: okay then what do i call a married woman?!? 

kat: mrs, not ms. 

riki: see was that so hard. *riki looks to the camera, interview style.* i’m sorry mrs yang i promise i will never say anything like that again 

jungwon: yeah she doesn’t watch the pod man, but thanks for apologizing to all the mrs yangs out there! 

*you and kat hold back your laughs as you look at riki. riki then rolls his eyes and jungwon earning a smile from him and opens his phone to the questions he has pulled up.* 

riki: everyone ready for the first question?

*they all nod, shifting in their seats a little to get adjusted. you sip from your water, giving your attention to riki and making sure the mic doesn’t pick it up.* 

riki: it’s kinda deep, is it easier to love or be loved. 

giselle: *gasps* that’s good one 

jungwon: it came from the patreon 

riki: since i asked the question let’s start on the other side, sunoo. 

sunoo: i think being loved has like a feeling you can’t  replace you know. 

yn: i agree, it’s like everything comes like full circle when you’re being loved by someone. it’s a really good feeling. 

sunoo: i do think though, to give love and to be loved has like its cons too. say if you were in a one sided relationship and you were giving love to someone who wouldn’t want it back, it hurts a lot. 

jungwon: it’s just draining on the person overall. 

kat: but i feel like if you were on the other side of that isn’t it equally as bad? you know if you were being loved by someone who you didn’t love back it’s just another issue because you feel like you owe them your love 

giselle: i agree with you, kat i do but i think it’s so much more tolling on the person giving love because it’s like you’re giving a part of yourself to someone else to cherish and hold. 

sunoo: wow that was poetic 

giselle: i know right? 

kat: yeah i get what you mean

giselle: giving your love is just so much deeper. sure to be loved is such a great feeling but giving your love isn’t just surface level, it’s like you actually love that person so much, and it’s so passionate too. 

riki: but that can be said for the other perspective too

giselle: you’re right 

yn: i honestly think being loved is something everyone gets to experience once in their lifetime, it’s not only limited to intimate relationships 

jungwon: ahh you have a point 

yn: you get to be loved by your parents, friends, anyone really who cares about you. it’s a good feeling and i think that almost everyone should have that kind of feeling in their lives. 

sunoo: what would you describe it as? 

yn: i think it’s different for every relationship. like for example being loved by my family is the thing that nothing can replace, it’s like a warm hug after a long storm. it’s familiar and it’s a feeling that i just think i would give the world to have all the time. 

riki: im the same way, even though i don’t live near my family anymore i miss them like crazy all the time. like my moms hugs. 

sunoo: ughhhh my moms hugs, im gonna drive by and hug her after this 

kat: are you gonna open the door and just give her a big fat hug and leave 

sunoo: you make me sound like a situationship who fucks you then leaves 

giselle: not our fault you worded it like that 

jungwon: i agree with you though yn. i do think that being loved just offers so much more than just intimate relationships. 

riki: i do too. but i see giselles point too. why did i have to pick the best question ever. *riki groans but smiles in the process, making kat slap his arm.* 

sunoo: you just wanted an ego boost. 

niki: perhaps. 

jungwon: i think that it’s a tie, both of them have their pros and cons 

kat: that’s a good way to end it 

sunoo: didn’t know it was a deep podcast today 

riki: sorry *laughs nervously* 

yn: no it’s okay i liked the question *you smile to riki, rubbing his shoulder* 

giselle: yeah same 

jungwon: well then you guys are gonna like this next segment. 

kat: wait let me guess would you rather?

jungwon: no

kat: scenarios?

jungwon: no kat-

kat: opinions on the [BLEEP]?!

*the group look to each other, then burst out laughing.*

giselle: fuck i’m gonna have to edit that out 

kat: what?

sunoo: we cant talk about the [BLEEP] thing remember. 

yn: yeah or else it’ll be our neck. according to [BLEEP] 

jungwon: guys stop bringing it up now we have to bleep all of that 

kat: sorry.. *she smiles nervously at jungwon and giselle and they both wave her off*

jungwon: what i was trying to say is that our next segment is blind ranking

sunoo: oh my god i love these

yn: same 

jungwon: topic is first dates 

riki: okay well i can’t participate i’ve never been on an actual date 

*sunoo moves his mic away to laugh at riki, riki stares at him to shut him up* 

jungwon: yeah that’s why i chose it for our episode dumbass. anyways there’s five of them so here’s the first one. a music festival  

kat: oh my god 3 duh 

yn: ehhhhh 5? 

kat: *gasp* what 

giselle: yeah im with yn 

sunoo: yeah 5 

kat: why that’s so fun 

yn: it’s too sweaty like i had to be super comfortable to even go to head in the clouds with riki and won

giselle: i feel like that’s cool to do if you’re already dating but first date? i don’t think so 

jungwon: majority rules sorry kat 

kat: yall are fake 

riki: okay next one is a classic, the movies 

sunoo: honestly 4 

giselle: maybe 3 i don’t know it’s very like highschool

yn: yeah i see what you mean. i think it’s just weird because what if you’re watching a popular movie and neither of you really like it. also you can’t really talk to get to know the person 

jungwon: personally this is a 5 for me 

kat: it’s so like.. middle school 

riki: doing that damn arm stretch. 

*everyone laughs at riki’s joke as he fake yawns to stretch his arms and put it around kat, making her laugh even harder.* 

jungwon: i was abusing that card in highschool 

yn: it’s so corny eww *laughs* 

kat: no it’s kinda smooth if someone can pull it off 

sunoo: i remember i did the counting shoulder thing in middle school 

yn: oh my god i remember that 

riki: i never heard of that one 

kat: like 1, 2 *she counts her own shoulders* and 3 *she puts her arm behind riki, him laughing as she did it* 

giselle: that’s a good one 

jungwon: so movie 4?

kat: yep movie 4. 

yn: this is so fun

jungwon: the next one is go karting 

sunoo: OOOOO

yn: might put this as a 1 

kat: okay but what if they choose a really really good one for the last one 

yn: ugh you’re right 

sunoo: im saying 2 

giselle: lowkey 3 

yn: noooo its so fun. like its playful and it’s not too much talking where it awkward. and then after that you can grab food and talk 

riki: that honestly sounds perfect 

kat: okay you’re convincing me 

sunoo: let’s stick with two because i know they’re gonna pick a good one 

giselle: okay yeah 2 

riki: next one is eating. like going out to eat 

yn: 3 it’s a safe choice 

giselle: yeah it’s safe 

sunoo: oh my god what’s the last one i’m excited 

jungwon: sitting at your number 1 spot is a date in the park 

kat: oh..

*you and sunoo side eye one another, and start laughing* 

riki: you guys fumbled 

giselle: ugh we should’ve put go kart at 1 

jungwon: i would’ve put go kart at 1 too

yn: okay park isn’t that bad 

sunoo: no it’s bad imagine all the bugs. and there isn’t a single cute park where we live 

kat: that’s definitely 5 

giselle: yeah i agree 

yn: what time are we at won? 

jungwon: about an hour. you guys ready for a break 

riki: yep, i’m gonna go grab water 

kat: yeah i have to use the bathroom

*riki and kat get up, moving their mics. they both walk out of the room. the rest of the group continues to scroll on their phones, checking notifications. giselle laughs and sets her phone down* 

giselle: did you guys see the top albums of all time? from apple music. 

jungwon: *snorts* yeah, yn what’d you think about the list 

yn: oh i loved it, i think there was too much classic rock on there but my girl lauryn hill sitting pretty at number 1 

sunoo: i love that album, like it’s so good 

jungwon: frank ocean was top 5 i think we’re getting an album 

*giselle laughs, shaking her head* 

giselle: i fear we won’t be getting one for a while. 

yn: no but imagine not knowing who lauryn hill is? 

*sunoo and jungwon side eye each other but stay quiet to let yn go on* 

yn: you must have some shit music taste if you don’t know lauryn hill is all i have to say 

sunoo: must be an alpha male 

*giselle, you and sunoo laugh. jungwon looks at sunoo, holding back a laugh* 

jungwon: cmon we weren’t gonna talk about it 

yn: speaking of alpha males let’s talk about alpha male podcasts. have we ever covered that? 

giselle: don’t think we have 

sunoo: it has to be rage bait 

jungwon: well no have you seen andrew tate, he was like so serious about it. 

yn: i think alpha male podcast are so stupid. like you must be so sensitive about your masculinity if you have to run a podcast all about it. 

*riki and kat enter the room, taking a seat* 

kat: what are we talking about? 

jungwon: lauryn hill and now alpha male podcasts

riki: i fucking love lauryn hill 

kat: alpha male podcast should be wiped off the face of the earth

giselle: and they invite like instagram models on there and like flame them for no reason 

jungwon: they are like the bane of this existence 

sunoo: honestly is it just me or like recently has there been an uprise in podcasts 

giselle: no i get what you mean 

yn: i think when all those like old youtubers started doing podcasts they became popular again. 

riki: everyone and their mom has podcast 

kat: dude we have a podcast 

riki: yeah.. we’re everyone and their mom keep up 

*you laugh next to him, shaking your head* 

jungwon: you guys ready for the last question 

giselle: mhm 

jungwon: so as surprising as it is we’ve never talked about aux etiquette on this podcast. what do you guys think proper aux etiquette is? 

giselle: i think proper aux etiquette is playing music that everyone listens to 

jungwon: yeah.. *jungwon glares at kat, making you and riki laugh. kat furrows her brows in confusion*

kat: um hello im an amazing dj 

sunoo: you’re in fact not 

yn: yeah babe 

kat: *scoffs* what! wait do you guys seriously not like my music? 

riki: well no it’s just whenever you’re on aux- 

jungwon: which is all the fucking time 

*you and sunoo laugh* 

riki: like i was saying whenever you’re on aux, you always try and get us on to the music you listen to and it’s just shitty house music like *starts imitating one of the songs* 

kat: you guys don’t appreciate taste 

jungwon: you mean noise? yeah we don’t 

*kat laughs* 

sunoo: hot take i really don’t want music when im hanging out with my friends 

yn: your worst take yet 

sunoo: okay what the fuck 

riki: i’m sorry but pitch silence? fuck i’d go crazy in a car with kat and yn 

yn: rude 

riki: you two talk soooo much 

kat: not our fault you’re a nonchalant emo 

jungwon: *laughing* fuck 

giselle: i agree with sunoo to an extent like it depends on what we’re doing. if we were going to a club or something i’d want to get hyped up but on the way back i would want to debrief 

sunoo: yeah i agree with that

riki: let’s rank us in terms of aux 

jungwon: kat is dead last 

kat: your music taste isn’t amazing i don’t know why you’re talking 

jungwon: least i can admit it 

sunoo: the girls are fighting.. 

yn: i think it goes kat in last, then sunoo 

sunoo: wait what 

yn: your music taste isn’t like versatile. no hate it’s just not great on aux 

sunoo: yeah well yours is shit too 

yn: don’t care *you stick your tongue out at him making him stick it out back, the two of you giggle*

giselle: i think first place is between riki and yn 

yn: my brother just another me 

*you and riki fist bump each other, giggling* 

jungwon: it’s gonna go to their big fat egos 

riki: frank ocean is never gonna release an album ever again 

jungwon: take that back 

riki: your mom 

kat: as much as i hate to say it jungwon might be second. it’s tied between you and giselle 

sunoo: so we agree that kat should never get aux 

giselle: she’s always fucking arguing for it too 

*the group laughs* 

yn: like damn if you’re gonna fight for aux atleast put on music we all like 

kat: ugh fine i will next time 

riki: next time im getting aux 

jungwon: we’re gonna hear emo music the whole ride 

riki: to be emo is to be free 

giselle: rikilations

sunoo: what time are we at? 

jungwon: an hour thirty ish. should we end it? 

kat: i mean did you guys have any other questions 

riki: nah i didnt, did you? *he looks to jungwon* 

jungwon: nope 

giselle: okay sign us out then 

riki: thank you for staying with us today at yap central we hope you enjoyed your stay. 

jungwon: remember to subscribe, like, comment, and share this video. check out our bio for resources and sign up for patreon. peace! 

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » i had SOO much fun writing this, like it felt like i was actually sitting there with them. the bleeps aren't too hard to guess bc its pretty obvious. i wanted to include them so it felt more real and i hope this wasnt TOO confusing

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @kittykangz @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping

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[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

Do you think your favorite Morally Grey Blorbo is mistreated by the fandom? Do people not understand them? Are they constantly compared to the likes of Satan?

Or, on the flip side, are people saying they did nothing wrong? Constantly overlooking key characteristics, making it seem like they like the character in their head more than the character you got? Making them into a morally pure saint when they really aren't?

TL;DR: Does the fandom not seem to know the Definition of Morally Grey?

Well, I have good news!

WELCOME TO MISREPRESENTED MORALLY GREY!

RULES:

-No Harry Potter Characters

-No Real People

-2 Submissions or More guarantee entry

-DO NOT USE FAN ART!

-Morally Grey is Subjective. If I get an Ask saying that *insert Character Here* does not deserve to be here, I will make a poll for you to decide

-Cutoff date is February 29th, 2024

-There will be 4 Brackets, 'They Did Nothing Wrong' (A-Side), 'They Did Everything Wrong'(B-Side), Both (C-Side) and Mixed (D-Side)

Edit: PLEASE STOP SUBMITTING EDELGARD VON HRESVELG!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU AREN'T GONNA CAPITALIZE HER NAME CORRECTLY!! She has guaranteed entry anyway!

Edit Edit: THE SUBMISSION FORM IS CLOSED!!! Thank you All for Submitting!

*tags for exposure*

@tournament-announcer @yall-hate-kids-tourney @look-how-they-massacred-them @morally-grey-girlbosses @godsspecialestlittleguyskirmish

[heyitstam]

dr. robert chase x reader - the chase itself (smut)

hi guys :D i know i haven't posted in a while, but i recently asked a VERY good friend of mine to cook me a fanfic of this very beautiful man, and HE DELIVERED. like all out jaws on the floor type delivered. i love this man fr, so i'm posting it here with his permission. it's his first fanfic ever, and in my humble professional opinion he overdelivered - so have fun reading this beautiful smut fic of reader and dr. chase <3

I. Humble Beginnings

Taking place in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, New Jersey, you are a fairly new nurse who pursued a medical career in quite a common way. The way being that it was more so your parents’ wish for you to go to medical school than your own, but you don’t necessarily hate that fact; at least it gave you a direction, so to speak.

It’s early in the morning, so there’s not a whole lot going on. You went around doing your usual checkups already and what not, therefore you decide to go on your well deserved coffee break. However, right as you are are on that, and you step out of the cubicle you are in, you glance over to an unfamiliar face through an operating room.

Some would call it love at first sight, but it really is more than that. It’s the kind of tingly sensation no one could forget. It’s almost shameful, but you can’t be bothered by that feeling right now. As if you physically couldn’t take your eyes off of them, you lose all sense of purpose, standing there, unable to think. Suddenly, someone bumps into you, which wakes you up from your total amusement. You feel the need to know more, so as you squint your eyes, you can read their name off of the shirt they are wearing.

“Dr. Robert Chase..?  I need to.. have a talk with him. I just need to.” – you think to yourself, ponderingly.

You go back to working with a saturated mind, unable to concentrate.

II. The Chase Itself

As days go by, you’re quite hesitant to reach out to him, but you seriously feel the need to. Why is that, really, you ask yourself. You ache to even have a talk with him at this point, but you long for more. Way more. You can’t think of anything else.

After contemplating for a good while, you decide to ask around to know what time he gets off from work, since you want to surprise him at the last minute. That’s the only way you see that you could have a one-on-one with him anytime soon.

With that out the way, you now know everything you needed to know. The only thing that divides you from your desire is to actually act up on it, so you gather all your courage. You look at the time, and you’re actually pretty shocked how caught up you were thinking about him. If you don’t hurry then you’re going to miss him that day entirely, so you start sprinting.

You notice him as he is turning around the corner, all dressed up, ready to leave, and you stumble right into him.

“I need to tell you something inside, it’s.. it’s important, alright. And it might just take a while” – you tell him, struggling with your words. “Great. I was just about to leave, you know. Whatever, show me, I don’t have much time for this. Is it really that important?” – he answers abruptly, being quite impatient.

You suddenly catch a rush of excitement. This is all that you were planning for the past few days or so, to get close to him, and it looks like you’re on track.

III. An Uneasy Start

Chase swings open the door of the office he’s just been in, ushering you in and closing the door behind him, since there’s quite the commotion even late into the night, it’s a hospital after all. It’s dark inside, the only light sources being a dim lamp he accidentally left on and the Moon seeping through the closed blinds faintly. The room has a surgical bed, a cabinet behind it with all kinds of training supplies, a desk with an office chair and a hanger stand. He puts his white coat on the stand, then undoes his tie, putting it into his pants pocket in a really apathetic way, with most of it hanging out.

Seemingly being quite contempt with the situation, he sits down onto the office chair, facing you, and he seriously doesn’t look like he wants to be there.

As a last effort at trying to ease up the situation, you grab the glass of water that is sitting on the desk and you splash it at him, in a playful way.  Not surprisingly, this backfires, since he doesn’t seem too happy about, not in the slightest. He stands up from his desk and goes on to wipe off his shirt to make it slightly less messy, all without even muttering a word. You do feel pretty stupid for that.

With another attempt at getting his attention, you arousingly start to cut the strings off of a few upper buttons on your blouse with a surgical knife, as he turns back to you, giving him a snarky look.

“Was that really necessary? What was so important about any of this? Can we get to the damn point?” – he asks you with a loss of temper. “I might have lied about that important thing.” – you answer him not so bravely.

He's visibly frustrated at you, and with a change of demeanor, he stands up and is now closing distance between you in a rush, as you are backing up. He halts as he catches up to you, towering over you.

With both hands on your shoulders, clenching them hard, he asks you, in an almost belittling tone: “Is this what you wanted? “ “I don’t know, is it?” – you answer him in a pretty similar way.

Like the kind of tease you tend to be, you start gliding around your fingertip on his chest, which he.. seems to enjoy, and lets you do for a short while, for then to push you to the nearest wall.

IV. Lust

Fueled by lust, you immediately grab his chin and assertively start kissing him, which absolutely catches him off-guard. In reaction to the advancement on him, he forces your body onto his as he caresses your back. After this goes on for a bit, he grabs you by the thighs, lifts you up and tosses you onto the surgical table.

With your arms behind you, you’re sitting halfway up as your legs are pulled up. You lock eyes while he is still holding you by your thighs. He leans over, drags you closer and is now standing between your legs.

You clumsily unbutton Robert’s shirt, one by one. In contrast, he carelessly tears off a few more of your buttons, making the blouse slide off your shoulders, which then falls onto your lap, flustering you in the process.

He then puts a hand on your lower abdomen, which feels surprisingly soft, even though his hands are quite firm. Most notably, it’s warm. So warm in fact, you feel like you could melt into him, and you are all about that feeling. Starting from your thighs, continuing to your hips, he brushes his both his hands across all the way up to your chest in a painstakingly soft and throughout way, but at the same it’s quite the calm moment.

An intrigued nervousness starts to pile in you as he suddenly starts to unbuckle his belt, which was undoubtedly the loudest noise in the room so far. In the meantime, like the obedient girl you feel like you are, with each rattle, you can't wait to obey. As if you were a household maid, you’re more than ready to satisfy the head of the house, as if he shook a bell around.

He tosses aside his pants and boxers and you feel like you can’t catch up with your heavy heartbeats as he rests his rigid cock on your stomach. It all just feels so sudden, and it’s starting to grow on you in a pleasurable way. He goes onto removing your bra, while you’re simultaneously stroking him slowly and briefly, before he goes down on you again.

You can feel it throb against you, and it’s just as, if not hotter than his hand is, which he has below your stomach again. He needily grinds against you over and over, lifting your skirt up with it every time, and rubbing against your inner thighs.

He doesn’t wait around before removing your panties, which are drenched by this point, and neither does he wait to penetrate you, as he is inside you now.

“Maybe I did need this.. “ - you hear him talk out loud quietly.

At once, as he is slowly, but forcefully thrusting into you, you see him pulling out the tie out his pocket, which he puts around your neck now, instead of his own.

It’s tightened real well, and he’s gripping it by the base, close to your neck. In the meantime he’s constantly pulling on it upwards, as it’s digging into the back of your neck, scraping your chin against it’s band, making your head tilt backwards considerably. With every moan you make, he tightens more on it, leaving your neck all bruised up. As he is fucking you, you’re nails deep in the sheets. You can’t help yourself but feel pleasured.

As he’s starting to get rougher on you, you begin to develop second thoughts and try to resist him, but as you’re doing that, he immediately tugs you closer, rendering your attempt futile. As you look at him, he seems to be way too into this, as his eyes lose all focus and glare, and you can only watch as his control over himself fades, railing you without a care in the world. This creates even more neediness in you, as you cross your legs behind his back, clinging onto him.

You can barely even keep your eyes on him, and you’re not even resisting his pull on your neck anymore, so you fully commit into tilting you head back in joy. All this sexual fulfillment demands you to do so, as you are slipping out of control more by the second. You feel like you could finish at any time, and as he’s also getting close, he’s painfully grazing your stiff walls more and more, with your moans sounding pitifully more helpless.

Ejaculating with a quiet grunt, he blasts the majority into you, leaving two strings across all the way up your body, all for you to feel ecstatic about. You really do feel like you owned up to it with your services, as if it was his way of rewarding you. Not to forget about you, he pushes you over the edge too, as you’re desperately gripping his shoulders. No matter you could barely take a break after your climax, he leans closer over your stimulation filled shivering body, and goes for a deep passionate kiss. Not even bothered by the fact you are still desperately panting and gasping for air along with him.

V. Not So Aftercare

After standing up from the bed, he comfortably hugs you by your hips, to which you endearingly put your hands onto his. After romantically rocking you slightly around with his hug, he leaves his hands off of you to start dressing up. It’s getting quite late.

As he is about to button back his shirt, he looks at you still standing there, still looking a bit shocked from everything that happened so far. Deciding to help out, he steps besides you, getting your bra back from your bed, and putting it on you. He’s slowly buckling the back together, and you are simply just unable to look him in the eyes, since you're becoming increasingly shy in a sudden way, blushing like you never have before.

"You.. didn't have to, you know.." - you tell him in a higher pitch voice.

You really enjoy his care, it does fill you with joy. Then you reach out for your panties, but as you are pulling them up, he slides his hands under yours, taking the lead again, which surprises you even more. You are so overwhelmed with emotions at this point, you shake right into his hand as he pulls it all the way up, giving you a slight friendly chuckle, and blowing you a kiss right above the lining of your briefs, gaining him an immediate gasp from you. You're truly mesmerized by him.

He continues dressing himself, and as you calm down, you rush into his arms, facing his chest. He caresses and pets your face and head with one arm, for him to go onto groping your ass, and going down to your thighs. His hand lifts your skirt away from time to time, letting colder air in. After he finishes clothing up, he swings you to his other side and pushes you right to the desk.

“I need more of you. I need to feel you in more ways.” – he tells you with a shaky voice.

You almost even stumble, and with an utterly scared look on your face, you glance at him. Without precaution, he pushes you down onto the floor. You look down onto your legs. Your knees are together and your feet are far apart, completely side-tracking you. You even put your hands on your knees in a cute way, but as you lift your head, his cock gets into view, poking through his pants fly, which takes you aback.

Your first and immediate reaction is to press your lips all around him, kissing and licking his shaft as it pumps against your mouth. After growing tired and wanting more, he puts his thumb in your mouth, and with a few fingers latching onto your chin, he pushes downwards on your jaw. With closed eyes, you stick out your tongue, waiting for him to enter. He lets go off of his fingers from your face, following up with exactly what you expected. It feels way bigger than what you anticipated, leaving your mouth sore in the first minute, already. He’s being frantic with you, mouth fucking you without relent. You’re huffing for air as you whimper, but you aren’t getting any. You start to sob as he goes deeper down your throat. As you move your tongue in a swing like motion, from side to side, you circle the bottom of his shaft as he shoves himself in an out. You soak his cock with your saliva, blending with his precum. No matter how much of it you gulp down, It’s flowing out your mouth.

Resting his elbows and head above you on the desk, he looks down at the top of your head, as you suck him off. From the table, as he rocks you around, all kinds of documents fly off. Not that he cares, really.

Without even telling, he comes into your mouth, throbbing against your lips. You stomach it all as you look up to him, initiating eye contact, and smiling. After spewing out his cock, you grab it by the base and gently rub it off with a napkin. He pulls his zipper up, and kneels down. He parts your hair slightly and greets your forehead with a last smooch.

Looking back at you for the final time, he waves at you, winks in a mocking, yet sweet way and leaves though the door. You can only wish to meet soon in a similar fashion.

VI. Reflection

You’re at a loss of thoughts. He’s been so careful, yet so careless with you at the same time, and that’s just messing with your brain right now, so you lean your head against the desk, you close your eyes and give into the bliss once again.

Even after he left, you’re sitting in the dark, in the same position he left you in, with his tie still around your neck. You feel embarrassed, but you can’t help yourself as you take in the scent of his tie, pleasuring yourself through your clothes, while thinking about him. He has a hold on you, and you know that well.

[payasita]

Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D

thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.

like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)

diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.

and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?

so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.

the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.

so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me

it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.

he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.

he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here

he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.

"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.

anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription

all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.

the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.

so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT

anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.

and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.