#except for tim of course

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Tucker gets hired by the JL to work on the Watchtower’s cybersecurity... He might have a few friends visit. 

Batman looked over the application for visitors presented to him by Dr. Foley, who was nervously wringing his hands but seemed excited to talk about his two close associates, and it appeared that everything was in order for the pair to be allotted a short visitation time slot. 

The paperwork was established by Batman himself after all, needing a way to permit non-members (His Children) to visit him at his office in the watchtower. Looking over Dr. Foley’s application, the invites to Dr. D. Fenton and Dr. S. Manson seemed to be somewhat warranted.

Dr. Fenton is a well known astrophysicist and Dr. Foley had been upping the security to reflect more complex physics models as the ‘lock’ mechanism for access to Watchtower servers. Dr. Manson was a more controversial figure in social justice but a biochemist to rival Dr. Pamela Isley, not to mention she was someone Bruce Wayne had met a number of times and not completely hated (though he was sure she hated him and everyone else in the gala). She was a fan favorite guest by his children and a great advocate for animal and human rights. 

Batman approves the application, allowing their visitation for a few hours at a time once a week until the completion of Dr. Foley’s project. 

He doesn’t hear much from it, nor from Dr. Foley, but things start to come down the rumor grapevine that the two guests were more than they seemed. Red Robin was the first to comment on it to him, and as practical and efficient Tim could be, there was a look of chaos in his smile as he discussed the two additional PhDs. He was stingy on details and that always meant something bad for Bruce’s mental health. A few others asked a few questions as to who exactly the pair were visiting, and Cyborg commented that they weren’t really doing too much to assist Dr. Foley. 

Batman decides to intervene and meet these two for himself when he hears Constantine complain (not that the man wasn’t always complaining about something) about the two new magic users being way too OP for normal humans. 

This is how the JL gets to become allied with Ghost King Phantom and Thorn (not Poison Ivy pt.2 as Robin insisted). Turns out they weren’t sure if the JL could be trusted with interdimensional politics, so Tucker spent the last two years gaining their trust to let Danny and Sam up here to ‘check the place out’ before they committed to becoming members. 

Batman doesn’t even get to raise alarms at the espionage of it all because Red Robin has already programed their new badges and welcomed them on with open arms and a project to take down the LOA’s Lazarus Pits “safely”.

[introspectivememories]

BERNARD GETS THE MARINA IN THE DIVORCE CANON!!!

[aalghul]

I think it’s really funny how Tim had at least one parent besides Bruce (who was not explicitly his parent for the longest time) for most of his time as Robin and yet nobody contests that he has been Bruce’s son, Dick’s brother, etc. since far before his actual adoption. But with Duke it’s a whole debate every time.

“Duke’s parents are still alive so it’s disrespectful” Tim’s stepmom was alive but unable to take care of Tim, when he was adopted by Bruce. Is it disrespectful to her to say Tim is Bruce’s son? Or does this argument only apply to Duke?

“Bruce didn’t adopt Duke, he was just his guardian” Do you know who else Bruce also didn’t adopt for his entire childhood? Or is Dick no longer Bruce’s son in any way whatsoever?

“Dick actually called Tim his brother” Jason’s included Duke as one of his brothers.

“Some people don’t like anything post-flashpoint” Those same people usually include Kate Kane.

[isabellaofparma]

The Newsreader | 1.06 – "Meltdown"

[ashgunnywolf]

When Clark and Bruce start dating, Jon doesn’t stop calling Bruce by his name. That’s okay, Bruce expected that.

What he didn’t expect was for his children to start calling Clark Dad. And they still call Bruce by his name.

[redkelpfish]

In the same vein as “everyone is Batman”:

Batman but Red Hood is “secretly” like fifty different people. Like, yes, Jason organized and started it all, but the majority of the time it’s actual Gotham citizens who have a chip on their shoulder so big as to not have a spine.

They trade off and/or only have a couple active at the same time. They never let on that there’s more than one Red Hood. Very few people have caught on.

Bruce is losing his mind

[white-weasel]

I am staring DIRECTLY at Film Reroll Luke Skywalker watching and anticipating his next move

[daytimevigilante]

I hate it whenever I see Damian haters talk shit about Damian, what kind of problems do you have against a young child?

It gets to the point where I would see Damian haters critique Damian for having FEELINGS and expressing them in his own way. What do you want Damian to do?  For example, other characters in the bat family can express their anger and take it out on others, but suddenly when Damian shows that he’s angry, apparently he’s being an annoying brat? Make it make sense. Do you not want him to have feelings? 

It gets to the point where Damian haters say they hate him for having OPINIONS of his own, even if other characters in the Batfam think differently, when that is the entire point of writing a story. No two or more characters are ever going to think or act in a similar fashion, because they have their own issues ( internal and external),  biases, flaws and strengths that differentiate them from one another. What do you want Damian to do? Do you want him to have no opinions at all? 

It gets to the point where I would see people write entire long posts about why they hate Damian because of the stunts that he would pull or the decisions he makes, even though other (white) character(s) in the bat family has made the same actions in the past, if not then something similar. 

The way that some people would try to pick Damian apart and critique him to the point where the only story they want from him is for Damian to stand in the background, with minimal dialogue and to be nothing more than a side character for the white members in the Batfam.  That’s how annoying the Damian haters can be. 

Obviously, comic readers should read what they want and what they enjoy. So if some people don’t like Damians comics, thats perfectly fine and everyone should read what they enjoy. 

But in my opinion, there’s no real reason to hate Damian with a burning passion. Of course he can be critiqued as all characters should,  but don’t hold him to an impossible standard that you would never even think of putting on the white characters in the batfam. 

[itspileofgoodthings]

there are no teenagers to really ship on fnl because guess what. teenagers aren’t shippable and shouldn’t be dating. if realistically told they are inherently cringe and stupid.

[someoneimsure]

tim is literally adopted in red robin, tho. he's had plenty of chances to tell bruce that he sees him as his dad.

It's true that Tim is already adopted in Red Robin, but he didn't have a lot of time to tell Bruce about his feelings.

Honestly, Tim didn't start calling himself Tim Wayne until his 2007-2009 run, before he became Red Robin in 2009 (see this excellent analysis of Batfamily names by fantastic-nonsense here https://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/693799058823839744/while-you-are-digging-into-batfam-lore-could-you).

Bruce died/disappeared in Final Crisis, 2008-2009. In comic book universe time, that's around a few months for Tim to start questioning his identity as a Wayne before Bruce dies. Not enough time to tell him whether or not he wants to be a Wayne or tell Bruce he wants to accept him as a Dad.

Red Robin very much reads as a "permanently unresolved identity crisis" for Timmy since Tim hasn't exactly figured out who he wants to be during Red Robin either since he's constantly switching between the three names (Tim Drake, Tim Drake-Wayne, and Tim Wayne) and even going so far as to treat Tim Drake and Tim Wayne as two separate people.

There's definitely some subtext for Tim during Red Robin as well. The kind of "I wanted to be adopted by the guy who died" vibes but "I didn't realize that's what I wanted until after he was dead and now I'm moody and depressed because I needed him and I can't admit that to myself".

He's still trying to figure himself out even now. This man's just a bundle of identity crises one after the other and I love him. How can he tell Bruce how he feels when he doesn't even know how he feels because he's so caught up in vigilantism?

[kieran-granola]

You know how there's a subset of martial arts Tiktok where people post short vids of them doing a quick routine/choreography?

People in Gotham post blurry clips of the Bats, and a few martial artists challenge each other to reproduce the moves. One vid goes viral and more people start to give it a try, including non martial artists, who just meme with the choreography/try to imitate some moves just in good fun (and whoa some dancers and gymnasts do surprisingly well)

It naturally gets back to the Wayne brood, except, of course, the real challenge for them is to fail in a believable way.

---

Tim, on camera: "I was nearly good enough for the Olympics, surely I can do that...? Let's find out."

[cue footage of him falling down, cartoon-style, right as Damian was walking by and getting both of them drenched in Dami's smoothie]

---

Jason sees the compilation someone made of Bruce's ridiculous attempts at reproducing the moves (Tim and Steph roped him into their shenanigans.)

Two days later, a video of Red Hood goes viral: it's him condescendingly explaining how to throw a punch and challenging Bruce Wayne to do it properly because "no Gothamite should be so shit at fighting"

Bruce is verklempt when he watches it, because some of it is word-for-word how he taught baby!Jay

---

Tim gives Damian blurry, grainy footage of Black Bat to imitate. After that, Dami spends days hounding Cass for training because he nearly broke his nose tripping over his own feet.

---

Dick flawlessly lands a flip in front of all the others with "ASSERTING DOMINANCE" written on screen before winking at the camera.

Right before the video cuts, Tim's voice can be heard saying, "Whatever, your ass is still flat compared to Nightw—"

[mutable-manifestation]

You know I've seen a few variations on "Danny is the one who can make the batfam sleep" now and most of them are powers-based or him being a tiny new orphan who is so so sad if you don't take care of yourself-based

May I propose another variation: Danny, having moved into the manner a month ago and long discovered all of the relevant secrets (without the others knowing) can tell their lack of self-care is weighing on Alfred.

Alfred is the one he's seen the most in his time there - the others have spent time with him, of course, but they all have their night jobs and work or school away from home (Danny is doing online classes so he can work at his own pace) - so he's not at all happy about Alfred being stressed.

Danny calls a family meeting.

He's built an app, he tells them, and each of them can access their own timer on their phones - yes he already downloaded it to each of them.

Yes, those are how long you've been awake, he tells them. Yes, he's sure they have noticed Tim's absence - Tim was on hour 35. The maximum allowed is 24.

If one's timer reaches 24, Danny will find them, and he will put them to sleep manually.

How? Danny hefts the Fenton creep stick pointedly.

Someone points out he could give them a concussion or kill them that way.

Danny says he's had a lot of practice judging swings.

He also maybe bribed Nocturne for a large amount of sleep dust. The bat is just for a deceptive bonk (and they will be getting a bonk, if a light one) as they go out so he doesn't have to explain himself - they'll just think he's really that good at judging swings.

Someone goes to find Tim to prove he's just bluffing. Except Tim is actually asleep.

Danny doesn't use any ghost powers, he's just that sneaky and he's keeping a close eye on the timers. No matter how they try to avoid him it simply doesn't work. He hacks the doors, he's good at combat the one time someone noticed him sneaking up on them, and he's such a good sneak that most of the time they don't notice him until it's too late (even more impressive once they actually start paying attention to their timers to try and anticipate him).

They don't all live together. That doesn't help.

Danny took a bus to Tim's apartment while claiming he was going on a jog to avoid suspicion. He hitchhikes all the way to Crime Alley to put out Red Hood. Nowhere is safe.

It becomes very obvious he knows about their secret IDs. It also becomes very clear that he only really cares about whether or not they're sleeping.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]

“I’m having a child.”

Danny stared at Batman.

“…Uh, congrats?”

Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”

Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”

Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.

“I mean- I have parents!”

“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”

Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”

“They’re still… alive?”

“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.

“I see.”

“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”

Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.

“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.

“Of course. Tell me everything.”

The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.

Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.

——

“Hey, Tim?”

Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”

“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”

Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”

Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”

“You… want to confront Batman.”

“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”

“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.

“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”

“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.

“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”

Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”

Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”

“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”

“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”

“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.

Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.

“Jason regularly showers, though?!”

“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”

“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”

“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”

“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”

“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”

“Danny, what the fuck?”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”

“Hey!”

“Soul-stinky nerd man!”

——

“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.

“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”

“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”

“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.

“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”

“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.

“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.

“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.

“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.

“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.

[flamingpudding]

He's my clockwork appointed babysitter, not dad.

They failed, even they managed to beat all the cultist in time. The ritual was still completed. The leader was laughing like a maniac until Hood hit him hard with the butt of his gun, knocking the guy out cold finally. With held breaths, they watched how smoke rose from the ritual circle higher and higher until it started to form a black shadow with stars as eyes and too many teeth and limps. Batman was on his way with Constantine. Maybe they could at least contain whatever that was until they arrived.

"Who in the name of all good and holy dared to summon me?!" A static scratchy voice echoed in their ears.

No one dared to answer at first but of course Red I-fear-nothing Hood had to open his mouth earning him death glares from his siblings. "Aren't you like a demon? Why would you mention anything good and holy?"

That think was blinking at them and Tim did a double take when that think moved its many limps like it was rubbing the back of its neck.

"In the name of all bad and cursed then?" It sounded unsure still a booming echo like voice but unsure. They shared a look. Dick opened his mouth, ready to say something when suddenly a familiar voice shouted from behind them.

"Cut the crap kid! They are the Batsie and his birds belong to the good!"

They turned to see Constantine marching in with Batman right behind him. The man was throwing the but of his cigarette way as he went right up to that demon. Which apparently was not one because right as the Brite was up to it a puff of greenish some blocked their view for a moment before a white haired child stood where the demon had been seconds ago.

"The hell you doing out here kid. I told you to stay at home."

"You try resisting a summon when your all new to the fact that you can get summoned!"

"Your going to make my hair gray faster, you little chaos gremlin."

"Aw love you too!"

"Uh Constantine?" They had question of of them was that Constantine was apparently familiar with that child, demon, whatever.

"Right." The man lit another cigarette but before he could even take one drag of it he side eyed the child staring up at him before he flicked it to the side. "Bats my demon son, Danny the Bats."

"Demon son?"

"Actually I am-" They watched how Constantine covered the child's, Danny's, mouth with his hand shushing the boy.

"What did I tell you about interdimensional secrets? That's right, do not talk about them to just anyone. We are not repeating the Green Lantern incident."

Should they feel offended? It felt like they should. They weren't just anyone.

"Constantine." Batman gruffly warned, but the man held up one hand towards them. Batman was definitely offended that Green Lantern got to learn something he wasn't getting to know on Constantine's watch.

"One moment Batsie. I need to- did you gremlin just lick my hand?!"

The moment Constantine removed his hand the child stuck his tongue out at the JL Dark member and made a break for it to hide behind Batman.

"Get back here you little..."

"No! I am always stuck at home, and you promised me I would get to see the watchtower at last month!"

Batman blocked Constantine from getting to who was apparently the man's demon son. Staring at the man as the boy grinned in triumph.

"Mate get out of the way, this kid needs to get grounded again."

"For what?"

"Being a chaos gremlin that won't listen."

The rest of the batfam had only one burning question on their mind. "Which demon was willing enough to have a child with Constantine?"

Well, except for Tim who had caught the little tidbit of interdimensional secret and was wondering who Danny really was.

[horsechestnut]

I just think it's really neat how much fans have latched onto the fact that Stephanie Brown was Robin.

Like, both in and out of universe Stephanie was never meant to be taken seriously as Robin. The writers only made her Robin so that her death in War Games would be shocking and Bruce only made her Robin because he thought it would make Tim jealous enough to come back. She only had the mantle for 71 days before being fired (for doing something that literally every other Robin has also done and not been fired over), and she was only active during 50 of them. There are only six issues where Steph is Robin in the canon timeline.

Her final words before her death are asking Batman (Batman, because even on her death bed he doesn't trust her enough to take off his mask) if any of it was real. Was she really Robin? And Batman assures her that of course she was, that she was part of the legend and no one can take it away from her. Except it's a lie, because despite his reassurances, Batman never puts up a memorial or does anything to preserve her memory. He never really thinks of her as Robin, and even her friends will always think of her as Spoiler before ever remembering Robin.

Meanwhile DC spent years ignoring her time as Robin, to the point where it was completely erased from existence for awhile. It's technically back now, because timelines are weird, but unlike the others it's never been altered. She's never been given a second chance at it, no one's ever gone back and added more issues or details about those 71 days, or even seems to want to acknowledge them most of the time.

But fans have clung on to it anyway. Sure, there are lots of people who make Robin posts that are just about the boys, but there are just as many people who are ready to fight anyone who doesn't include her. Maybe it was only for a little while, but she was Robin, and we're sure as hell not going to forget it. If DC isn't going to bother to remember, than we will.

Stephanie Brown was Robin. She was part of the legend. It was real. No matter what, no one can take that away from her.

[allthegothihopgirls]

dick and jason trying to give tim the crash course on what it's like to be robin, except tim leaves the conversation more confused than he was before, because everyone quickly had the realisation that there was. definitely a favourite child

dick goes on about how bruce's teachings gave him healthy outlets for his grief and anger etc etc, whilst jason's very much confused because he was kinda under the impression that robin was an outlet for bruce's feelings.

dick says that the father-mentor ratio was really well balanced during his time as robin, and bruce always saw him as a son first. and jason's just like "....i didn't even know he saw me as his son until after i died????"