#dream thought magician had number 2

[ja3yun]

Picturesque | P.SH

bf!sunghoon x gf!reader

warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, oral (m&f receiving), pet names, fluff, pornography (? sunghoon takes pictures while they do the deed), multiple orgasms, they're sickeningly cute, not proof read, anything i've missed lmk

wc: 4.6k+

synopsis: it's your boyfriend sunghoon's birthday and you want to make it special. your present goes down much better than anticipated.

a/n: hi! it's my best boys' birthday today <3 i know you're all waiting for the next part of tstab but i couldn't resist to post this. its just a one shot because i love him sm and my brain is always thinking about him but esp on his birthday. hope you like it!

You open your eyes to darkness, the only light coming from the orange streetlight outside. Warmth is felt around your waist and down your back as your boyfriend, Sunghoon, sleeps soundly. Looking at the clock you see it read 3.34am. Perfect.

Today was Sunghoon’s 21st birthday. He said he didn’t want a big fuss, simply to have everyone around to your shared apartment for some dinner and drinks. One thing about your boyfriend is that he was a simple guy with simple needs. That didn’t mean you couldn’t decorate the place for him though.

Planning this was a strategic effort even though it seemed simple. Sunghoon was smart, too smart, and if you slipped up even once about your plans he could easily piece it together. It’s not like you were preparing some big extravagant surprise with fireworks and magicians or something, no, you couldn’t even dream of something so lavish. Truth is with both of you being University students with minimum-wage part-time jobs, you were barely making rent. You don’t regret moving in together, it was the right decision, you just wished the government wasn’t filled with incapable idiots and put everyone in a cost-of-living crisis. So you have to make do with what you have, even if you think it’s not enough.

Peeling your lover's arm from your waist you make haste to start decorating the living room. Your flat was small so you had to be extremely quiet, like don’t breathe quiet, but with you and your lack of ability to produce any noise lower than 120 decibels it is going to be a challenge. Sunghoon loved how loud you were compared to his quieter demeanor, making sure to tell you to be as loud as you want and that he would never complain. He especially made this known in your bedroom.

You put on his white shirt from the night before and gingerly shut the door behind you as you vacate the room, leaving Sunghoon sleeping. In your hall cupboard, you had hidden an Asda bag filled with decorations like banners, balloons, and streamers. Their selection of stuff is to be desired and none of it matches but you’ll make it work. 

Looking around your living room with a sigh of discontentment you place all the decorations out on your coffee table. “Okay, where do I start?” Your voice is a whisper as you speak to yourself. “I should start with balloons. Yeah, balloons.”

The balloons you wanted were the big number balloons so you could have the 21 as the centrepiece but the very bitter middle-aged lady in Card Factory made it very clear there weren’t any 2’s in store. What kind of place runs out of 2’s? You had to settle for black, white, and gold multi-pack.

You shut your eyes tight and swallow your breath down as the plastic rustles far too loudly. “Shhh.” A warning to the inanimate object is wasted but it’s all you can think to do. This is going to take a while.

As the morning goes on you’ve managed to blow up the balloons and group them into 3-a-piece, hanging them up on each side of the big window and in the corners. You thought you were a goner when one of the white balloons almost escaped your grasp and started flying around the room but you grabbed it just in time. Checking the time on the clock you see it’s 4.30am. It really took you an hour for the balloons. Banners were next on your list but they should be easier surely.

Grabbing the automne you’ve been using as a ladder you successfully put 3 banners up in 20 minutes. If you had the time you’d celebrate but you still had so much to do before he gets up. “One more.” You place your hands on your hips and blow some hair out of your face as you smile. It’s ugly, it doesn’t match the others at all. The banner is silver with just the letters ‘Happy Birthday’ held together by a tacky white ribbon. You really wish you could do better than this but alas here you are climbing up to situate it above the TV. This is a little trickier since you have to stretch to reach the wall because of the TV unit that sticks out. 

You fail to notice your boyfriend leaning by the doorframe with his arms crossed and a cheeser of a smile on his face. He wanted to see how long it would take you to notice his presence but he thinks he’ll be waiting a long time. You’re too engrossed in your task to even hear his footsteps coming up behind you.

“Babe?” His deep morning voice scares you and you stumble on the automne, almost falling backward. Sunghoon’s eyes widen as he registers what's happening and rushes to catch you. “Shit, Y/N. You okay?” He places one of his warm hands on your backside and the other on your knee, stroking them both gently to make sure you’re okay.

Only your heart was not okay, thumping loudly as a rush of heat spreads through your chest from the adrenaline of nearly crashing into the table behind you. When you calm down you laugh and lean on his shoulder to step down. “I’m okay.”

Now you’ve properly come to you bring your hands to your mouth as your eyes widen. “You’re not supposed to be up this early!” As if it’s his fault you slap his chest and he chuckles in disbelief.

“Sorry, babe, if I had known you were planning to surprise me I would have slept longer.” Oh. He’s right but still. Not fair.

“I didn’t even get to put up the streamers or that shitty banner.” Dramatically, you wave your arms around and scowl at the devil banner. “It was supposed to be finished so when you walked in I could go ‘Ta-Da!’ and you would be all like ‘Oh my god, Y/N. You’re the best girlfriend ever. This is incredible.’” Sunghoon lets out a loud laugh and brings his hands to your face.

“Okay, okay, let me walk back in and we’ll do it again.” You pout at his suggestion but shake your head as much as you can considering he’s now squishing your cheeks.

“There’s no point now.” Sunghoon sees your disappointment and he matches your saddened expression.

“I’m sorry, babe. You worked so hard on this and I ruined it.”

“Yeah, you did.” You joke while he places a kiss on your forehead and lets you go. 

Sunghoon looks around the room at all your efforts. His eyes are filled with admiration and love, everything you did was his favourite but somehow you top it every time. All that energy you spent wasting on worry because you couldn’t give him more was so silly because he was so appreciative that you would even take the time to do any of this, especially when he said he didn’t want a  fuss.

His eyes meet yours and he sighs, “Beautiful, you didn’t have to do all this.” You are so busy between all your Uni work and grueling shifts at the restaurant that he doesn’t even know when you had time to get any of this stuff. “It’s just my birthday.”

“It’s your 21st! It’s special!” You protest. “I would have done something more extra but,”

He knows. It’s tight right now between bills and time but none of that matters to him, not right now, not when he has you beside him. “Babe it’s perfect, really. I like the uh,” he points between the decorations, “the green and pink banner and the gold balloons, brings a certain class to the room.” He jokes and you hide your face in embarrassment in his chest, mumbling a little ‘It’s all they had’. “Y/N I love it.” He bends down a little until his face is just below yours, “Seriously. Thank you.”

All the trouble was worth it just to see his smile right now. You peck his lips, “Happy Birthday, Hoonie.” Circling your arms around him as he towers back over you, he kisses the top of your head and then pulls away slightly to kiss your lips. Sunghoon feels so loved by you. The kiss is filled with love and desire so when you pull back he audibly groans.

“Do you want your present?” Not unlike you, but you’re nervous. You had been saving up for his gift since February so no pressure or anything. Inside you’re screaming, your brain working overtime in the anxious department. What if he hates it? “Or do you want to wait a bit?”

“If you’re the present then I’ll take it right now.” He captures your lips back into a kiss. If he wasn’t so into this kiss he would have noticed your playful eye roll. Sunghoon had the impeccable ability to make you have butterflies in your stomach while also frustrating you at how horny he is. He truly is still just a man.

“Hoonie I’m serious.” You pull away and he sighs.

“So am I.” His large hands grope your ass to pull you towards him. When he looks at your face he removes his hands from your body and holds them up defensively. “Okay, I get it. But I told you nothing crazy.” 

Sunghoon didn’t care for gifts and that’s why giving this one to him made you feel like you were going to throw up and cry. He was either going to love it or be mad that you bought it.

“Close your eyes.” Doing as he’s told he screws his eyes shut and you turn to dig through the automne. It wasn’t the safest place to leave it considering it took for him to look for one letter or magazine to find it, but it’s better than nothing. The present is perfectly wrapped with glossy white paper, accented with a gold ribbon, you wanted it all to be perfect. “Put out your hands.”

Once his hands are flat you place the box gently in his hands and he opens his eyes. His smile falls a little as he looks between the box and you. “Y/N this is big.” He’s skeptical and his face doesn’t hide it which sends your anxiety through the roof. “Please don’t tell me it’s something exp-”

“Can you just appreciate it and open it please?” He’s hurt by your words. Of course he cherishes anything you do or buy for him, he just doesn’t want you wasting money on him and with the size of this box, he fears you might have.

“Babe of course I appreciate it, you know I do.” You pout and push the box to his chest. 

“Then open it and tell me you love it. And don’t get mad.” When you say that he shuts his eyes. “I promise it’s nothing like mad expensive. Scouts honour.” You hold a hand to your chest and one in the air.

Sitting down on the couch he unwraps the gift and sees a plain black box. His fingertips feel the edges before he opens it and his eyes widen bigger than they ever have before, he doesn’t move. 

He hates it. Obviously he does. You bite your nails looking at him slowly take out the gift and examine it. “Y/N this is..” He trails off, looking intently at it.

Last year Sunghoon had gotten back into photography, just a hobby, nothing major, but he found a real passion in it this year. He carried the thing everywhere, taking pictures of everything he found pretty - most of the memory card was filled with you. Nonetheless, he didn’t have a case for it, and considering it cost him like 2 months' worth of rent, and that was it being second-hand, you felt like he needed to protect it properly. 

So you got him a custom leather case to fit his vintage Minolta TC-1 camera, his initials embroidered on the front lefthand side. The Etsy seller was even nice enough to throw in a strap that matched. You were lying when you said it wasn’t super costly, it did take months to save up for, but as you see his shocked face change into one filled with glee, you know it was worth it.

“Y/N, this is too much.” The smile on his face said otherwise, it was just perfect.  “Babe, seriously, this must have cost you a shit ton of money.” 

Shrugging you play it off, “Nah, got a good deal on it.” 

Like a child at Christmas, he stands up and strides over to embrace you, the hug said everything he couldn’t. There were no words to describe how much he loved it, how much he loved you.

“Let me go get my camera!” Sunghoon was easily excitable and as he ran to your bedroom to retrieve his camera you could only laugh. The pitter-patter of his feet getting faster the closer he got back to the living room was the cutest thing you have ever seen. Struggling to get the camera in the case due to excitement, you walked over and took the case from his hands, “Here, babe.” You slot it in and thank the heavens it fits and in hindsight, you probably should have checked before giving it to him.

“Babe, I love it so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He kisses all over your face. He was such a cutie, you never understood why people were intimidated by him. But then again, with a face so gorgeous who wouldn’t be? And you were the only one that really got to see this side of him.

“I’m glad you like it, Hoonie.” He corrects you and repeats the word ‘love’ which makes you smile.

Turning the camera on he brings it to his face and adjusts it. You take the opportunity of his preoccupied state to clear up some of the mess from the decorations and his present. You contemplate whether you should attempt to finish decorating but you don’t see the point, maybe finish it before the others come over.

A shutter sound echoes in the quiet room and you spin around to see your birthday boy smiling widely as the camera is pointed at you.

“Hoon, stop! I’m not even dressed yet.”

Your words seem to spark a mischievous glint in his eye and you have no clue what he is thinking. Sunghoon slowly walks over to you, “You know,” he wears the strap of the camera around his neck and takes the rubbish from your hands and discards it to the couch, “That’s not a bad idea.” Perplexment shows on your face. When did anything you just say sound like an idea? “I could take your picture.” 

“Babe you always take my picture.” 

“Not while I’m fucking you I haven’t.” 

Your jaw hits the floor. For the first time in your life, you are speechless, utterly gobsmacked. “No way.” You’re a generally shy person despite your loud personality so you would never think to do anything like this.

“Come on, Y/N.” He strokes your hair and uses a lower octave voice to try and persuade you, “They’ll just be for me, literally no one else will see them. You know I would never show them to anyone.”

Evidently he wouldn’t, he doesn’t even like it when you both go out dressed up nice and guys even think about looking at you. This was for him when you were on long shifts or in classes. Something he could use to jerk off to when his wank bank of memories won’t suffice. 

He’s too persuasive because the next thing you know you’re taking his hand and pulling him to the bedroom. Glancing around the surroundings you sigh. “Can I tidy up first?” 

“Why?” He laughs confused.

“I just don’t want the pictures taken with all this mess lying around, it’s un-aesthetically pleasing.”

His quiet almost silent laugh rings in your ears and you smile defeated. “Baby, do you think for one fucking second I am going to be looking at the slippers on the ground or Mr. Giles in the corner.” Mr. Giles, your childhood teddy bear, has seen far too much of what has gone on in these four walls but why is it when Sunghoon mentions his name you want to cuddle him and apologise?

“Mr. Giles is camera shy okay?” Your boyfriend picks him up, places a kiss on his nose, and places him facing the wall. 

“There. See.” He pushes you to lie on the bed, “Now, let me do my job, yeah?” His hands are on your waist in no time, the camera swinging from his neck now lays on your stomach as he bends down. The coldness of the object makes you shiver but you’re soon heating up when you feel his fingers dip into the waistband of your panties and pull them down. You hear him mutter ‘So fucking beautiful’ as his face is level with your core. Thinking he’s just going to get right down to business, you spread your legs but he stands up. “I need to take a before shot.” 

Click

Click

Click

He takes pictures as you lay there in only his shirt, some at a lower angle to get your perfect pussy in focus. His eyes are telling you he’s trying to refrain from just delving in, from absolutely ingurgitating you, it’s a patience he usually doesn’t have. 

“On your knees for me, beautiful.” Being obedient like always, you do what he says. “Gonna get you to suck my cock, okay?” You don’t wait to be told what to do next because your hands are reaching for his boxers to pull them down. Cocks are either fucking beautiful or ugly, and Sunghoon had the prettiest cock of them all. His reddening tip slaps his stomach and you mewl out loud. “Don’t show off for the camera baby, okay? Just do it the way you always do.” 

Sunghoon loves the way you lovingly lap his cock, trying to fit it all in your mouth but he’s so big you can’t take it all the way in without choking. It’s cute to him how eager to please him you are.

You sit your hands on his hips and lick a stripe from his balls to the tip before taking his tip in your mouth. “Fuck.” You hear Sunghoon breathe out and it makes you look up. This is the moment you wish you could take the camera and snap a picture of him. Maybe you need to suggest that at a later date.

Right now it’s Sunghoon’s birthday and it’s whatever he wants. You suck his cock in earnest, grabbing the base to cover the part of his cock you can’t fit into your mouth. He’s like you’re favourite meal and while you used to hate sucking dick there’s something so pleasing about him and the way he tastes. 

Forgetting his original intentions he grabs your hair and tightens it into a tight pony, pulling at it. “B-babe, so fucking good at this.” It’s not until he looks down at you working him up and down he sees the camera. He uses both hands to put you into focus and takes a few pictures. Some are just a close-up of your lips enveloping his shaft, others are simple POV shots. It’s when you look up as you hear the shuttering from the camera that he starts really taking the pictures with determination to capture how beautiful you look in this moment. The eye contact to the camera has his chest growling. “That’s my pretty girl, made for the camera, huh?”

He wasn’t big on dirty talk but right now he felt like a whole different person, and this person wanted you to hear how good you made him feel.

Picking up the pace you start to slabber down your chin, losing yourself in the action. Sunghoon is so close to cumming that when he pulls you off his cock he whimpers. You are both panting and clouded with lust, your plumped-up lips aren’t helping Sunghoon, and his leaking cock isn’t helping you. 

“You’re a natural on this camera, babe.” His hand reaches down to wipe the saliva and particles of his cum from your lips. Click. Another perfect moment. “Can’t wait for you to see it from my point of view.”

“Sunghoon, I love you but I am not looking at those ever.” There is a big part of you that actually would like to see it, but you’re too embarrassed to even imagine what you look like. 

“You’re missing out, beautiful. Nothing more picturesque than you choking on my cock.” Sunghoon says the filthy sentence so casually and it flips your stomach. “Lay down for me.”

Removing the camera from his frame he places it on the bedside table. Is he finished taking pictures? “Hoon wha-”

Sunghoon’s face is in between your legs and licking up your folds before you can ask your question but his actions answer it anyway. If he was your favourite meal, you were certainly his. Fuck, you were his favourite everything. He was sucking your clit so suddenly you arched your back, the action pressing your pussy further into his face which elicited a hum of approval from him. The sucking was harsh, overwhelming, so much so you hadn’t even noticed how his fingers lightly trailed your thigh. 

His palm pushed your right leg open further, his mouth never letting up on your sensitive bud.

“Hoonie,” A moan of his name leaves your lips, your hand grabbing him and pushing it towards your entrance. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing but still listens to your silent request, his middle finger circling your opening. 

The birthday boy wishes he could do this and take pictures because he knows you look so fucking beautiful right now. Even the image in his head of you arched in his work shirt, mouth agape and moaning, could make him cum right now. Instead, it just fuels him so keep going at your clit, throwing in some light nibbles every so often.

Slipping his middle finger into you he curls it exactly how you like it. After 2 years of fucking you, he’d say he could easily get a PhD in how to please you, certainly how to make you cum. And what you like is way more than just one finger, so he adds two more sending you crazy.

“Fuck, fuck, Hoonie, so good.” The moans and profanities leaving your lips make him smirk, knowing you’re close. He makes his tongue rigid and uses it to stimulate your nub, going fast and hard in rhythm with his fingers and within a minute your thighs are clamping his head and your coating his tongue with your cum. “Shit, my god, m’cumming.”

He almost laughs at you because of course you’re coming, he’s tasting it right now and it’s better than any meal or cake he’s going to get today. 

Your trembling thighs open slightly and he peaks his head up to see you, quickly grabbing his camera. “What a fucking sight,” Sunghoon whispers before clicking. Your arm is laid over your face, his shirt is held together by one button in the middle of your torso, and most importantly your cunt is glistening. He wants to blow this picture up on a canvas and hang it in the living room, but you would never agree and his friend would never leave your house. 

As you catch your breath, Sunghoon crawls to hover over you. “Babe you look so fucking good right now.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You laugh and finally bring your arm away from your eyes. Your essence still on his lips somehow makes you wetter than you already are.

“You’re so funny.” His sarcastic tone makes you laugh harder. “Now I need to make a decision

“What?”

“Do I want your pussy filled with my cum, or it splattered on your stomach?" 

Oh, you might just have a second orgasm right now. It’s not implausible at this moment. “Well, you have my permission for anything,” You kiss his lips, moaning as he instantly sticks his tongue down your throat. Breaking the moment you bite your lip, “And y’know, if you can cum twice you could get a double shot.”

The camera is pushed back on the table and his dick is touching your entrance, “I’ll make it a surprise what one comes first then, huh?” With that, he’s sliding into your heat, both of you gasping in unison. You’re tight around his cock, your walls dragging themselves perfectly along his hard shaft. 

“Shit, babe, feel so fucking good.” If he could record this moment and make it 4DX he would hire out a Cineworld screen every day and watch it on repeat.

Thrusting into you with purpose, one of his big hands gently encloses your throat, not tight enough to cut off your air but enough to have you roll your eyes back. It’s taking all his willpower not to just fuck you rough and hard because if he does he’ll cum instantly and that’s just not going to happen, not on his watch. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N. So perfect.” He brings his mouth to your ear, “My pretty girl, I love you so much.” 

You cry out in love and pleasure as he starts to pick up the pace, his cock hitting your soft spot every time. To him, you were the only present he ever needed. 

Sunghoon nibbles your earlobe, keeping his rhythm steady, continuing to whisper in your ear, “You wanna cum?”

“Yes, fuck yes please, Hoon.” He takes your hand from your throat and places it beside your head to give him more stability as he relentlessly fucks into you, his lips sucking in yours as he loses control, his only thought right now is to make you come undone on his dick. 

From the last orgasm you had it doesn’t take long before you’re cumming again, the aftershocks still buzzing and only adding to the sensation. You’re gripping his arms and crawling down them, legs shaking as you loosely wrap them around him. There’s no energy left in your body so as he fucks you deep, your spent body only moves due to the power of his thrusts. “You’re doing so good, I’m nearly there, babe.” He mumbles into your neck as he nuzzles into you.

You’re getting a tiny bit overstimulated but you know he’s close so you bear with it, mustering up all you have left to whisper, “Come on, Hoonie, don’t you wanna get the perfect shot?” 

His seed fills you instantaneously as your words echo in his ear, his body jittering as he coats your walls, his hips losing their rhythm and coming to a standstill. 

Heavy breathing and banging heartbeats are all you both hear as you compose yourselves. Sunghoon falls on top of you, his softening cock still buried inside you. Rubbing soothing circles on his back makes him smile widely and look at you. “Thank you, babe. For the present.”

“You’re welcome.” Lazily you plant a feather kiss on his nose. You reach over and grab the camera, “Well, you got a picture to take.” 

Smirking, Sunghoon takes the camera and slides out of you, taking in the view of his cum dripping out of you onto the bedsheets. It’s a work of art. “Pose for me, pretty girl.” You open your legs a little wider and try your hardest to look sexy for him.

The camera clicks a few times, each shot more beautiful than the last. You’re his muse, his everything, his best birthday present.

“Now,” He puts the camera away and lays on you once again, “I think for my next birthday I might ask for a camcorder.” 

[cuubism]

In Waking Dreams

Part 2. AO3

Once, Hob had tried to draw his dream husband. It had been years since he’d dreamed of him, and he’d been afraid he might forget his face entirely.

Forget my own husband? Hob had once thought, laughing, when his Dream had suggested such a thing. Who could do that?

But the human mind was a fickle thing, even Hob’s immortal one. And dreams were vague besides – upon waking, what stuck in Hob’s mind was more an impression, a feeling, than a firmly-defined face. He would know him by touch, Hob sometimes thought, faster than by sight.

So Hob had tried, with his unpracticed hand, to draw him.

The resulting sketch was loose and indefinite but it felt like his Dream, somehow. Like he’d managed to channel his scattered memories onto the paper. Angular features sketched in a few sharp lines, messy hair suggested in broad swathes of charcoal. Eyes like chips of quartz.

Now, Hob wondered deliriously if he should tack copies of it up around town. Anyone seen this shadow?

Tracking down occultists was proving arduous.

It wasn’t that there were an insurmountable number of them in Britain. It was that occultists, being… well, occultists, weren’t exactly easy to pin down. If anyone could stay off the radar, it was someone who knew things about magic; if anyone was wary of the radar, it would be those same people.

Over the years, Hob had wavered back and forth on how connected it was smart for him to be with the occult. On the one hand, it would do to know if there were any other witch hunts coming down the line. On the other, he didn’t want to draw undue attention to himself, especially when he still didn’t know how or why he was immortal.

Nowadays, Hob had pretty much fallen out of connection with anything supernatural, so he was working from scratch and hearsay. Information thus far had been scattered and piecemeal; after all, it wasn’t like these people were advertising in the phone book. Not real magicians – or academics studying magic, Hob honestly wasn’t sure how to classify them – anyway. Particularly not any who had some kind of creature in a cage in their basement.

Or.

Wait a second.

Were they?

Hob scrambled for a notebook he’d discarded, knocking over his tea in the process. It spilled over the edge of his desk and onto the floor, but he paid it no mind. He flipped through the notebook, which was full of notes he’d jotted down about every newspaper article about magic he could find from the past century, ranging from around 1910 to the present day.

Hob had spent days at London’s various libraries and archives, going through microfilms. Now, he blessed the modern age’s ability to record things.

Daily Mail 31/10/1916, read his notes, “Evil’s Afoot! English Lord Claims He’s Caught the Devil!”

It hadn’t caught his eye sharply enough in the moment, but now… after that horrible dream… that grand cellar, that imperious voice...

Hell. 1916. That was around when his dreams had stopped, too.

Hob’s palms prickled with sweat, his grip wrinkling the pages of the journal. A sick feeling clung to the back of his throat. 1916. All that time…

…had he been trapped? All that time?

Hob thought he might throw up but he did not fucking have time for that. He grabbed his notebook and his keys and scrambled for the door, barely remembering to lock it behind him, forgetting his coat entirely. He had to see that article again, had to know all of it.

His tea was left cooling into the carpet behind him.

------

------

“Isn’t it just bloody fantastic?” said Hob.

“What is?”

“Printing.”

His Dream sighed, but didn’t draw his arm from Hob’s grasp. Hob recognized that sigh as his you’re about to regale me with tales of all the incredibly mundane things you mysteriously find fascinating, aren’t you? sigh. He always allowed it, though. Listened attentively. Never protested. Hob might even have thought that deep down he was actually interested, not that Hob would dare to suggest so.

“Look, I know people are dubious, seeing as, you know, most people can’t really… read, but people can learn new things, can’t they?”

“I suppose they can.”

“But imagine, imagine how many books there could be out there.” Hob insisted as they walked. “You know how hard it was for me to even get my hands on one, when I was trying to learn?”

“I think you would get along with my librarian,” his Dream said, fondness in the words.

Hob frowned, not sure what he was referring to. “What?”

His husband stopped walking, jaw tensing as a look of bewilderment flickered over his face. Then he tugged Hob along again. “A librarian. You seem to be becoming quite bookish. Perhaps you should go into academia.”

Hob laughed. Guffawed, really. “You’re not usually one for flattery, love.”

“Well, it may take some time, but—”

Hob laughed again, even more heartily this time.

“I fear I may have offended,” admitted his Dream, “though I am not quite sure how.”

Hob patted his arm. “It’s alright. I still love you.”

His husband’s arm tightened around his. “You do.”

Hob wasn’t sure why he sounded uncertain about it. “Of course.”

He didn’t get a response, so he looked over at him. His Dream was staring decidedly away from him, looking to the far-off horizon. Hob studied the fine line of his throat, the soft fall of his hair, longer now in recent years. Elegant, always so elegant, his Dream. Princely. Aristocratic. Hob never quite knew how he’d ended up with someone like him, but he’d learned not to look too closely at his own good fortune.

“Hey,” he said, bumping his shoulder into his husband’s, “y’alright?”

“Of course. You are simply… quite a specimen.”

“A specimen, eh?” Hob said, laughing again. “Alright. I’ll be your specimen, then.”

His Dream whirled around and kissed him, a kiss that was hot and incongruous with their peaceful surroundings. His hands cupped Hob’s face. Hob stumbled back under the pressure of him, but quickly gathered his balance again and kissed him back.

When they pulled apart, his husband looked flustered, conflicted, eyes sharp and mouth an unsteady line. Hob might have thought he was angry, if he hadn’t known him as well as he did.

“I still am not sure where you came from,” his Dream managed. “How or why you— you—”

He was really struggling. Hob had so rarely heard him struggle with his words. Withhold them, yes, but stumble over them?

He took one of his hands and held it between both of his own. “Relax,” he told him, and that did make him look angry.

Still, his Dream continued on, one word stepping out at a time, “Hob Gadling. You may think that you are not cut out for academic work, and perhaps this is true – I cannot speak to the future. But do not disparage yourself in my presence again.”

Hob couldn’t help the trill of nervousness in his laugh. Christ, he could be so intense sometimes. “It’s not disparaging, love. I’m just a man, you know? Nothing special. It’s not hurtful, just the truth.”

“No,” said his Dream, “it is not.”

His gaze bore into Hob’s, and Hob really had no idea what to do with any of it. There was nothing wrong with being an ordinary man; it wasn’t like Hob thought he was the worst person on planet earth, God. Yet having his Dream look at him like that – that did make him feel special.

“You’re sweet,” Hob told him, and chucked him on the chin. His husband seemed absolutely vexed by this response. Hob looked around, suddenly aware that they weren’t where he’d thought they were. “Hang on, where are we?”

Not long ago, they’d been walking side-by-side in a rose garden. Now, they were at the top of a cliff face, a jagged slope falling behind them. Ahead was a magnificent landscape of rivers and moors, ragged rocks and distant, uneven mountains. A magnificent sunrise of cream and periwinkle lit up the sky.

His Dream made a disgruntled noise. “Somewhere more spectacular, I expect.”

Hob was more than used to him saying cryptic things at times. “Well, it is spectacular.”

“I am glad you think so,” said his Dream, now sounding proud, as if he had somehow orchestrated this. He was so funny sometimes.

“Well, I don’t fancy a hike down that cliff,” said Hob, peering over the precipice. “Maybe here’s where we stop for a picnic.”

“Food again,” muttered his Dream. “Is it never enough.”

“You don’t exactly have the body mass to spare, honey,” said Hob, and his husband spluttered indignantly. Hob passed him a pasty from the pack he was now holding. “Have a pasty.”

“No.”

“Tea, then,” Hob said decisively, and tugged him down to sit on the edge of the cliff.

His husband’s long coat flared out below him as he sat. He was always wearing that, or something equally black and long and dramatic, and when he walked it made him look like a sliver of nighttime, or a bird so smooth-flying it was merely a blur of color.

When he sat at the edge of the cliff, though, crossing his legs underneath him, it swallowed him up and made him look more like an ink spill. Hob shook his head fondly, but didn’t remark on it.

He managed to weasel a cup of tea into his hands, which were already growing cold in the crisp dawn air. His Dream hummed, a tiny acknowledgement.

Hob sipped his own tea. He didn’t feel the need to make him talk further. It was enough to just sit side-by-side, soaking in the morning and each other’s presence.

A rare sort of quiet. Hob didn’t take it for granted.

------

------

Hob nearly fell off a cliff when he realized he wasn’t aging.

Literally.

He was trekking along a ridge in Normandy, long lines of men all around him. He resituated his gear and tugged at the neckline of his sweaty shirt, stifling a groan. Maybe it was time to get out of soldiering. Not even because of the danger – it was just exhausting.

It was too bloody hot in France, too. Whatever happened to some respectable clouds.

“Quit groaning like an old man, laddie,” called the soldier at his side, with a laugh. He was an older man, could’ve been Hob’s father, if he’d still been alive. “Wait till you get to my age, then you can complain.”

Hob missed a step and would have tumbled down the rocks to a very uncomfortable fall if the other soldier hadn’t caught his arm.

“Whoa!” he cautioned. “Maybe I spoke too soon, after all. Watch your feet.”

Hob did not watch his feet. Hob did not watch much of anything as he was plunged immediately into an emotional spiral he probably should have hit upon before now.

When you’re my age. How old was that man? Late fifties, maybe? How old was Hob?

He tried to count. It wasn’t something he kept much track of, to be honest.

He paled when he landed on a number.

By all rights, Hob should be in the same state as his fellow soldier – more wizened, more wrinkled, steps just starting to slow with age – but he wasn’t. He was the same as ever before. Since when?

Hob patted down his chest, then felt his face, as if he could somehow feel when the passage of time had, apparently, stopped affecting him. It was impossible, of course. His body was simply… there. Still alive, still thriving. But no particular evidence of any change.

He mused on it with increasing panic for the rest of the trek, through the afternoon, past sunset, until he and his comrades were gathered around a fire, eating their meager suppers. And he— Hob could not manage to figure out when it had happened, or why.

As best as he could estimate, he was still in his thirties, appearance-wise, so he must have stopped aging somewhere towards the end of the last century. But he couldn’t figure out what he might have done to cause it. Had he actually died at some point, and was now in a twisted version of Heaven (or Hell?). Had he made a deal with the devil, unknowingly? I’m never going to die, Hob had once bragged. Had someone taken it seriously?

Hob didn’t know, and not knowing was terrifying.

Would he not age, but still just drop dead some day? What if he was stabbed in the chest, would he still die?

“Hobsie, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” laughed the boy sitting across from him.

Hob realized he’d frozen in thought with a spoonful of beans halfway to his mouth, and put it back down. “No such thing as ghosts, Arnie. You know that.”

This wasn’t necessarily true. Hob did believe in ghosts, kind of – who wouldn’t return to the world to complete their business after death, if they could? But the last thing he wanted to do was encourage this direction of conversation right now.

“I dunno,” said Arnie, taking a bit of his jerky. He gestured widely with his hands. “We’ve all got immortal souls, haven’t we? So the church says.”

This came out muffled by his chewing, and the man to Hob’s right – the old man from earlier, Hob didn’t know his name – shook his head. “Should focus on your table manners before you start worrying about souls and such.”

“Table manners? We’re sitting in muck, Rupert!”

Hob couldn’t help but agree on this point.

“And if you want to get out of muck,” Rupert said regally, “you’ll focus on your table manners.”

“Cuz that worked so well for you?” Arnie retorted.

“Okay, okay.” Hob held out his hands to placate them. “Okay. No need to fight each other. There’ll be plenty of fighting soon enough.”

Sobered, they all looked back down at their food.

“Why’re we in France, anyway,” grumbled Arnie. “Why’re we in France fighting for England. Seems like we should be in England.”

“For someone or other’s glory, I expect,” said Hob, relieved to have changed the topic away from ghosts. “Also, we are getting paid.”

“It is for our glory,” asserted Rupert. “If they take back France, what’s to stop them from taking England as well?”

“Well, there’s a fair bit of water,” said Hob, and Arnie snorted.

Rupert shook his head. “You boys are too young to understand, but you shouldn’t be too young to have some national pride.”

“Maybe when I’m king I’ll have some national pride,” Arnie said with a laugh, but Hob was no longer listening. He was stuck, again, on what Rupert had said.

You boys are too young.

Hob thought, with no small amount of hysteria, If only.

---

Hob got his answer as to whether he would die when stabbed through the chest much sooner than he’d been hoping for.

Gasping for breath, he pressed shaking hands over the blood spurting up from his chest. This did very little, and his breathing became more and more labored, from pain, from panic, from the fact that he had a bloody hole in his ribcage.

Arnie stopped dead in the mud beside him, looking down at him with wide eyes. “Oh, God! Oh my God! There’s a— there’s— there’s so much fucking blood—!”

Hob and Arnie weren’t close – Hob had only met the boy a few weeks ago – but he knew from personal experience how shocking it was to see someone you’d broken bread with bleeding out in a muddy field far away from home. He didn’t begrudge Arnie his panic, but it was pretty fucking inconvenient.

“Fucking do something,” Hob groaned.

“I, um,” Arnie wavered. Hob kept bleeding. “Oh fuck—”

This accompanied a clashing of blades as a French soldier ran up and took a swing at Arnie. The soldier was well-armed, well-trained. The poor boy didn’t stand a chance, but Hob didn’t get to see what happened, because—

---

—When he woke, in that same spot on the muddy ground, it was dark. Hob jolted upright, hands flying to his chest. The fabric was torn, sticky with semi-dried blood, but no wound. Hob’s chest was tender to the touch, bruised and sore, but there wasn’t a gaping hole in it anymore, and he wasn’t bleeding out.

What—? How—?

He climbed slowly, groaning, to his feet, retrieving his sword from where it had fallen, wiping it on his pant leg more out of habit than conscious effort, and sliding it back into its sheath.

Around him, the battlefield was still. Bodies cooled in the mud, but no armies waited to attack. Hob was alone, with only the dead to accompany him.

He wondered if this was Hell. He’d always thought Hell would be busier, full of tormented souls and whatnot. But perhaps an eternity alone surrounded by mere reminders of others was its own kind of Hell.

He patted his chest down again, making sure. No, he was definitely no longer dying, barely had evidence of his ordeal at all. The fear of it lingered, stuck in his bones and muscles, an animal instinct to fight and thrash to the last breath that no longer had purpose or outlet.

But there was nothing else Hob could do other than turn and head back towards camp. Confused or not, he could hardly stay here.

He tripped over something and nearly fell.

In the dark, it took his eyes several moments to identify it as a body, and to identify the body as Arnie, the boy who’d found him bleeding. Hob crouched down beside him, hovering a hand over his mouth to see if he was breathing, even though he already knew. Arnie’s body was still, his eyes open in shock. Hob closed them.

Hob knew then, somehow, that this wasn’t Hell. This was real life. Hell was full of cruelty, he was sure, but it couldn’t be as mundane as this. No, only the world of men was full of such cold, empty loss.

Loss made worse by the fact that the poor boy had stopped to try to help Hob – help which ended up being absolutely unneeded. He should have kept going. He should have left Hob to die.

He looked up from Arnie’s body to the other still bodies scattered across the field, left alone in the dark. There were old men among them, but most— God above, these boys. These boys were so young. How Hob hadn’t realized he’d aged past that point in his life before, he didn’t know. Probably because he had lost touch with most of the people who had known him when he actually was that age. Drifted from place to place for too long. Lost connection with time.

Why he had been spared, when so many younger men had needlessly lost their lives, Hob didn’t know.

I suppose, he thought, turning numbly away from the field of bodies, I should do something with it.

---

Hob’s husband was troubled. He was pacing across the bedroom – a bedroom which was fucking ridiculous, by the way, who had a bedroom this large? It was more like a throne room than a bedroom. Hob had voiced this once, and gotten merely a glare in response.

His Dream was pacing across the tiles of said throne room, footsteps quiet despite the apparent weariness of his steps, cloak billowing around him. A raven perched on his shoulder, bobbing with the movement.

Hob, too, felt troubled, though he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t just because his husband was. There was… there had been something on his mind, something bursting to leap off his tongue. But it was melting away from him like candlewax.

“My Dream…” he tried. Hob rarely called him that directly, usually just in his own head, but it had proven effective at getting his attention in the past.

His husband stopped pacing and turned to him. His long coat swished to a stop around his ankles. Hob reflected idly that it sometimes seemed to follow his mood, moving more dramatically than a coat normally would.

“Something is troubling you,” his Dream said instantly.

Am I so easy to read? Hob thought. Well, he’d never claimed to be particularly mysterious. He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Could say the same of you.”

“The Dr— the world is restless,” his Dream said, in vague explanation.

“Isn’t it always?” Hob said.

“Mmm,” his Dream agreed.

The raven preened at his hair, pecking lightly at his ear. His Dream tilted his head, as if listening to its body language.

“Or perhaps,” his Dream began, taking a step closer, his eyes taking on a curious glint, “it is not the world. It is you.”

“Me?”

“I had not considered the possibility that one hu— one person could affect me so strongly.”

“Oh,” Hob said, touched. “Well, don’t let me disturb you.”

“No.” His Dream sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. The raven took off and wheeled its way out an open window. Giving them privacy? Strange. “Tell me what is troubling you.”

Hob’s lips twisted. “Don’t know, really. I mean, there’s a war on, but there’s always a war on, isn’t there?”

His husband hummed in agreement.

There was something important Hob was supposed to tell him. Something he wanted advice on, or at least recognition that he was not insane. But damned if he could remember what it was.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he finally said. “I’ll get over it eventually, I expect.”

“I am sure you will,” said his Dream, but he didn’t sound like this satisfied him. Slowly, like he didn’t know how, and wasn’t sure he was supposed to besides, he put his arms around Hob and hugged him.

Hob was always surprised by his strength. With his slim build and his fine, long clothes, he looked like he might be blown over by a stiff breeze, but no, he was solid. Hob was fairly certain that, should even a hurricane try to push him over, it would be forced to part around him instead.

Hob found his hand in their embrace and kissed it, and then they parted.

“If later on you would like to… discuss it,” said his Dream. “Then I will listen.”

“Alright,” Hob agreed.

His husband still looked adrift in the conversation. Hob laid a hand on his cheek. “Still feeling troubled?”

“Yes. I, too, do not know exactly why.”

“Well, we’re in it together, then,” Hob said, and got the tiniest quirk of the lips from him, almost a smile.

“Things are unsettled between us,” his Dream continued.

“Between us? I don’t know,” Hob said, leaning in. “I think we’re okay.”

His Dream’s expression relaxed as things shifted into a register he better understood. This, at least, had always been easy between them, even when words were not.

He let Hob draw him into a kiss. He ran his hands up Hob’s thighs. “Perhaps,” he said into Hob’s mouth.

Oh yes, Hob thought, pulling him down, yes, we are.

------

------

His Dream was lying on a couch in the massive library, reading a heavy book, when Hob found him.

Hob loved the library. It was practically endless, stacks and rows of gilded hardbacks winding infinitely in every direction. It was everything he imagined the printing business might blossom into. But at the same time, the space was close and cozy, primed for a lit fireplace and a cup of tea, and an evening spent curled up on the sofa.

His Dream looked up at him over the pages of his book. “Hob,” he said, sounding surprised. “I had not expected you.”

“No?” Hob murmured, suddenly crushed in a way even the glory of the library could not lift. “I mean. It’s our anniversary. Our hundredth.”

His Dream’s brows drew into a deeper and deeper furrow. “I do not… understand.”

“It’s our hundredth anniversary,” Hob repeated, with a little laugh, trying not to seem so pathetically wounded. “I know, I know, we don’t always celebrate them, but this one felt like a pretty big one, you know?”

Still his Dream was staring at him. Hob hadn’t expected much, hell, he hadn’t wanted much. He didn’t need nor want an extravagant celebration, even if one hundred years of marriage was quite a thing to have stumbled into. He just wanted – well, hell. At this point, he would settle for recognition.

“What year is it?” his Dream demanded, voice hard.

Hob flinched. “1489?”

His husband stood, jerky and abrupt like a predatory bird. “I must speak with someone.” He swept from the room, long coat swishing in his wake.

“Um,” said Hob, now alone in the winding halls of the library.

At a loss, he sat down on the sofa where his husband had been, picking up the book he had been reading. It was a dense book, a handwritten manuscript in verse style with delicate illustrations along the margins. Beautiful. Expensive, too, probably – Hob had learned well in his time in the printing business how much these things could cost.

I wasn’t in English – Latin, or Provençal maybe? Languages other than English weren’t Hob’s specialty – hell, it had taken him long enough to learn how to read English. Maybe one day.

He flipped to the first page.

Où vintiesme an de mon aage, Où point qu’Amors prend le paage, Des jones gens, couchiez estoie Une nuit, si cum je souloie, Et me dormoie moult forment, Si vi ung songe en mon dormant, Qui moult fut biax, et moult me plot. Mès onques riens où songe n’ot Qui avenue trestout ne soit, Si cum li songes recontoit.

Hob was definitely not parsing any of that. Perhaps, when his Dream returned, Hob would ask him to translate. He was certain that he would return, when he was finished sulking or having an existential crisis or whatever he was doing.

When that would happen was an open question, however.

Hob decided to wander around, perusing the library, trying to ignore the aching rejection throbbing in his heart. His Dream could be… thoughtless, sometimes, Hob was well-aware of that. That didn’t mean it didn’t sting when it landed just right.

Nevertheless, the library was beautiful, and it cheered him. He ran a light hand along the leatherbound spines, over the scrolls stacked in columns. He drew out a clay tablet pressed with strange, rigid characters, and marveled at a wall hanging painted in broad, sweeping strokes, watercolor mountains falling in a wave against the text. Hob was sure it was text, not that he knew what language, he had never seen its like.

So much variety, here, in his Dream’s library.

“So strange, you are,” Hob murmured to himself, thinking of the way his Dream had stormed out of the library, and the dense, beautiful texts around him. “So knowledgeable and cultured and yet so ignorant sometimes, my love. How many love stories must there be in these books? And yet.” He huffed. “Don’t worry, I love you either way. Far be it from me to criticize anyone for ignorance.”

“Oh, hello,” said a voice.

Hob jumped so violently he nearly knocked over an entire bookshelf. “Christ Almighty!”

“My apologies,” said the woman now standing beside him, who’d approached nearly as quietly as Hob’s husband himself could. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Hob relaxed by increments. It felt bizarre, encountering someone else here, though he wasn’t sure why. “No, it’s alright. Just wasn’t expecting anyone, is all.”

The woman smiled sympathetically. She had dark brown skin and elfin features, was meticulously put together in a long, fine coat and trousers – strange dress for a woman, Hob thought idly – and had several books tucked under her arm. Hob got the sense she had been on her way somewhere before she’d stumbled into him.

“I’m not here to disturb you,” she said. “Please, feel free to look around the library. I am sure His Lordship will not mind, if he invited you here.”

“‘Invited’ is a strong word, considering,” Hob muttered. Then screeched to a halt. “Wait, his what?”

The woman blinked, confused. “His Lordship?” she repeated.

“Lucienne.”

Hob felt his Dream’s presence beside him before even turning to look at him. His look upon the woman was sharp, and she took a step back, concerned. Hob nudged him in the side. Hey, don’t be mean to her.

“I will handle things from here,” continued his husband, and the woman – Lucienne – nodded and turned to go, ducking her head in a tiny bow.

She met Hob’s eyes briefly with a small smile. “Well met, Hob Gadling.” She nodded to Hob’s husband. “My Lord.”

Then she was gone.

Things were just getting stranger and stranger today, Hob thought.

He turned to his husband, meaning to ask so many things – but froze when he caught full sight of him. “Are you carrying… flowers?” Perhaps this was a dream. That would explain a lot.

His Dream looked uncomfortable. His grip tightened around what was indeed a bouquet of bright red roses. “A token. I owe you an apology. I have been… made aware… that my actions earlier were… unbecoming. Not my intent, I assure you.”

Hob would have liked to buy a pint for whoever it might have been that had made him aware. But his heart stuttered in sympathy to see him looking so out of his depth. “You’re forgiven. Of course you are. But you don’t need to run off, you know. Feel free to simply let me know what’s on your mind.”

“I had to clarify something,” explained his husband. “On my own.”

“Did you clarify it?”

Now his Dream’s eyes were dark with intent. “Yes.”

Hob swallowed. “Then I am glad to have you back, Your Lordship.” He meant it to be teasingly deferential. He meant to ask without asking, to see if he could tease the information out of him. Oh, royalty, are you? Okay, lover.

That was not how it came out.

Instead, Hob’s voice came out low and wanting. How could it not, when his Dream was looking at him like that? And it was so easy, to want him, even when he’d petulantly stormed off, and forgotten their anniversary. Hob was simply weak for him.

Color rose to his husband’s cheeks at the words. Not quite a blush, but a rising of heat, certainly. Hob’s gaze caught on it.

He laid a hand along his face. Feeling the heated skin and the blood racing through him. His Dream turned his head and nipped at the inside of his wrist, then kissed Hob’s jumping pulse. Hob drew him in and in, like the shore pulling up the sea, and met his lips.

They kissed. His Dream hummed low in his chest. His hands – now bereft of flowers – gripped Hob’s hips. “You are lucky you’re so pretty,” Hob said into his mouth, tugging at his lower lip. “Seeing as you forgot our anniversary.”

“Not forgotten,” said his Dream. “I did not expect for us to have a one hundredth anniversary.”

“Such little confidence,” Hob chided. “I suppose I’ll have to show you how I’m not letting you go.”

“I suppose you shall,” whispered his Dream.

Hob pulled him in again, and his husband came to him like the tide to Hob’s moon. Hob held his face and treasured him, and as he did, he knew that he would always. For one hundred years. For one thousand years. He loved this man who was dark as the night sky between the stars, and as bright as the sun rippling off the sea. He loved this man whose touch was like slipping under the surface of a still lake, and like breathing air once more; this man who walked between words and knew far off languages but let simple matters of love slip from his hands.

This man who was so unknowable, and yet so familiar to Hob’s heart.

He loved him to contradiction and the collapse of reason.

Overcome by him, he moved in, still holding his face, to kiss his forehead. So often they were wavering in and out of each other’s paths, trying to learn each other, trying to find each other, but in that moment, they were perfectly synchronized, for his Dream ducked his head to meet Hob’s lips in the same movement.

“My Dream,” murmured Hob against his skin.

His husband’s low voice evoked the sounds of a coin dropped down a wishing well – hope long since vanished into the darkness, and luck bouncing back up. “My Dreamer.”

Hob held him for a long moment, squeezing his eyes shut from the feeling. Something had clicked into a new register for them in that moment. He didn’t know what, but he could feel it.

He dipped to touch their foreheads together, then pulled away. “Shall we take this elsewhere, my husband? My king?”

A shudder ran through his husband’s frame. “Your king. That is a bold thing to assert, Hob Gadling.”

“Aye,” Hob agreed. “It is. Will you tell me not to?”

“No.” His Dream’s gravelly voice rumbled through Hob’s hands where they still held him by the jaw. “A stronger man than I would not be able to refuse your fealty.”

Hob would give it to him. Blanket him in it. “No other man than you would receive it.”

“A privilege, indeed.” His Dream took his hands and held them tight between his own. His eyes were spots of fire in the pale, dusty library. Hob wondered, absurdly, if that fire might be hot enough to set the books ablaze. “Come. We go elsewhere.”

Hob chuckled as he was dragged out of the library, his husband’s hand unyielding in his grasp, and they flew through the palace fast as choir song soaring from mouth to ear but twice as hopeful, twice as worshipful, twice as bright.

---

Hob woke that morning with next-to-no memories of what he had dreamt. He recalled his Dream’s face, and his flowers and apology, and their lovemaking, all of it fuzzy and warm and slipping from sights into mere feelings.

As to anything else that might have occurred – that was gone.

------

------

It was such a quiet ceremony. Hob liked that about their wedding. He knew some people – though usually much richer people, admittedly – liked their weddings to be extravagant affairs, more a way of showing off than of celebrating love.

But Hob liked this. The quiet aftermath, the freedom to steal away and kiss in the shadows at the back of the church. Nowhere else to be.

He kissed his husband, one hand buried in the long strands of his hair. He kissed him for so long his whole body grew hot and his lungs protested for air. When he was forced to break apart, he had to suck in several gasps of it to steady himself again.

His Dream watched him, an amused quirk to his lips. “Moderation.”

“Ha! Hardly,” Hob laughed. “You seen yourself?”

“There is no shortage of time.”

“Hmm. You’re right.” So instead of kissing him again, Hob just leaned into him, resting his temple against his, hand still in his hair, stroking lightly. “You’re right, husband.”

“Mmm,” his Dream agreed. His hands fisted in the soft fabric of Hob’s tunic. “Husband.”

There they stayed, embraced by the darkness, until slowly, his Dream’s arms crept further around him, until he was hugging Hob to his chest, not so much holding as clinging, clawing at his back.

“Husband,” he repeated, but this time the word came out ragged. Hob frowned, trying to step back to look at him, but his husband wouldn’t let go. “Hob,” he breathed, a quiet cry.

“Hey, what’s wrong, love?”

Hob thought he might be crying, but no, he was shaking, trembling against Hob’s chest as his hands kept grasping for purchase in his clothes. As much as it pained him, Hob finally managed to separate them just enough to look at him – he had to know, he had to know what was going on.

His Dream looked drawn now, almost gaunt, the lines of his face tight in pain, and Hob didn’t understand how he’d fallen so quickly from that fond, amused, and healthy look into this. His eyes were so, so dark, a moonless night. Hob held his face between his hands like he might need to hold him together entirely.

“Hey, hey,” he said as his Dream’s hands kept digging into his back in increasing desperation, like he thought he’d lose his grip. “What’s going on?”

His husband’s eyes squeezed shut. “Hob,” he said again, pained.

“Love—”

His Dream’s grip slipped from Hob’s back. Hob’s hands fell through nothing. That dark gaze met Hob’s for one broken second and Hob—

—jolted upright in bed, heart hammering. His sheets were all twisted around him, and he pressed his forehead to his knees, trying to slow his breathing. Trying to breathe at all. God, God—

“Oh, love,” he cried. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Sorry for what? Sorry for what? He dug his hands into his hair. “I’m sorry.”

How he wished he could go back. Go back into the dream and hold him tighter, whisk him away from the chapel to somewhere safe. But no matter how lucid Hob’s dreams had become over the years, it had never quite worked like that.

Especially not now, when Hob hadn’t had a real dream about his husband in decades.

He stayed curled over himself until the residual anxiety of the dream faded. Then he got up, still a bit shaky, and went to the kitchen. No way was he going to be able to sleep any more tonight.

According to the radio clock, it hadn’t been long at all since he’d gone to sleep, and it would be hours yet before dawn. Hob settled himself at the kitchen table with a mug of tea. The hot ceramic against his hands brought him back to the present.

Outside the kitchen window, snow drifted down in fat clumps, lit gold by the streetlights. The first snow of the season. It brought melancholy to Hob’s heart. Though perhaps the feeling lived in Hob’s blood, or his lymphatic system, because it had never quite left his body since that night when he’d first realized his husband was a dream.

The first snowfall. The changing of seasons. Time marched relentlessly on. Time marched, and sometimes Hob felt he wasn’t quite in it. A step out of sync, in his own little bubble of eternity.

Hob used to hate winter. When he was a young man, winter was deadly, it brought diseases and cold and food shortage and early nights. Winter killed. It was a season in which one’s only goal was to survive.

Now – children played out in the snow, leaving snow angels on the walkway outside Hob’s door. Now, they had heating, and electric light, and warmer clothes, and heated cars and busses to ferry them around through the storms. They had roofs that didn’t leak or cave in and boots that held against slush, and electric kettles for hot drinks on cold evenings. Hob wondered, sometimes, if the younger people thought about these many blessings.

Eternity could be hard to grapple with, eternity could be isolating. But eternity had gifted him this snowfall, and this hot cup of tea to go along with it.

Hob scrubbed a burning, frustrated tear from one eye. First snowfall. December, 1987. In a mere two turns about the sun, a blink, it would be 1989. No sign of his dream husband for seventy years now. Hob had always considered ’89 their anniversary, of sorts. It was their centennial. But he supposed that wouldn’t be happening, this time.

Stupid to have an anniversary with a person who didn’t exist. Stupid.

God, Hob missed his miraculous face.

Sighing, he went back to his tea, sipping it slowly as the snow kept falling in the quiet morning.

(Two years later, Hob would look back on that dream and wonder how he hadn’t heard the very real anguish in his very real husband’s voice. He would wonder how he had missed it.

How he had left him there.)

------

------

(translation for the poetry snippet from le roman de la rose:

In my twentieth year of age When Love, at that early stage, Exacts its tribute, I, one night, Laid me down, as any might, And fell into a slumber deep, And saw a vision in my sleep, So lovely that it gave delight. Yet there was naught in the sight That failed to prove as true, at last, As in the dream it came to pass.)

[aeoki]

SHINSEKAI - Magicians of ES: Chapter 2

Location: ES Idol Exclusive Inn (Valkyrie’s Room) Characters: Mika, Shuu, Sora, Natsume & Tsumugi

< A few minutes later. “Valkyrie’s” room in the ES idol exclusive inn. >

Tsumugi: Hmm~... Sora-kun said there is something that bothers him, so we came to take a look just in case.

But thank goodness, nothing looks amiss.

Shuu: …………

Mika: …………

Tsumugi: Both of them seem to be in deep sleep. Their vitals look fine too and both “SSVRS” as well as their life support device are running without any issues. 

Well, I’m no expert so I don’t really know, though. I just read the manual.

Sora: HaHa~♪ The “Valkyrie” pair just look like they’re sleeping to Sora~ That’s the “colour” they give off!

Natsume: They really are sleeping or rather, simply just dreamiNG.

Tsumugi: Such grandiose equipment is needed for simply just that, huh. If technology continues to be developed even further, it might become even smaller in size, though.

Natsume: YeAH. It would be amazing if they would make it as small as a contact lens like an SF cyberpunk fiLM.

By simply putting on a pair of glassES, people can go to and fro their desired dreams and realiTY.

Movies, manga, video games and many other thinGS – There are an infinite amount of ways to escape from realiTY.

This “SSVRS” is a device that allows one to dream at their own wiLL. It would be nice for it to stand shoulder-to-shoulder or even go beyond similar forms of entertainmeNT.

We might end up in history textbooks as the pioneers of such technoloGY.

Tsumugi: Ahaha. If that were to come to pass, “Switch” might be the most famous idol group in the next world.

Even for ES which is comprised of a rivalry of warlords, I’m sure it’s rare for someone to be a “significant historical figure” just like that. It might be a bit common for people to call Eichi-kun that.

Natsume: HmPH. I’m not wanting history or the public to acknowledge mE. I can’t say it wouldn’t be exhilarating, thouGH.

That’s the achievement that remains after overturning those regrets of not being able to weave the history of a tiny miniature garden – the history of Yumenosaki – the way they wantED.

Actually, I think I wanted to be someone like that from a young aGE.

Tsumugi: Ahaha, your dream came true, then~♪

Natsume: It didn’t just come trUE – It came true because it had the potential tO.

Sora: …………

Natsume: ? Sora, what’s wroNG? Is there something on your miND?

If there’s even a slight thing that bothers yOU, don’t hesitate to let us knOW. Your eyes are nothing short of reliabLE.

Sora: Hm~... Even if Sora looks from the outside, Sora can’t really tell~

Maybe it really is best for Sora to go inside “SHINSEKAI” and dig around~ Sora will say it again, but something feels weird somewhere…

Natsume: Hm~ But if you go inside “SHINSEKAI”, you’ll end up defenceless like Shuu Nii-san.

The people in this state – the players – can see the dream they want because the management is prompting thEM.

They can also control your inner thoughts depending on the story they sketch out for yOU.

Depending on what they do, they can plant emotions of love or hatrED and they might even break you psychologically and turn you into a crippLE.

Tsumugi: It’s an absurd device, isn’t it~? There is a law that’s waiting to be put in place regarding that.

Natsume: If we win “SS” and gain some powER, it might be a good idea to use it for thAT. Laws are conveniently established for politicians and winners to reap the advantagES.

Tsumugi: No no, it’s for the greatest happiness of the greatest number of people~

Natsume: Thanks to yOU, such a beautiful concept is being reduced to something shaDY, Senpai.

Tsumugi: What~? I’ve been working hard for that one reason both in the past and the present, though.

For some reason, people tend to bear a sense of distrust or hostility towards me. But I’m not attacking them out of malice.

I don’t know why but people feel happier knowing it’s an attack from someone they care about rather than kindness from someone they hate, right? If only we could tamper with those parameters. It would be convenient if we could.

Tsumugi: Maybe that’ll be possible with “SSVRS”. Look, maybe I could tamper with Shuu-kun’s brain and make him like me more…♪

Natsume: That’s a heinous act even worse than murdER.

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[overthinkingfeathers]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

The always lovely @faux-fires tagged me in this, so here we go!

Were you named after anyone? I was not! I almost was; my mother’s plan from childhood to most of the way through her pregnancy was to name me after a character from her favorite musical. Then, with a month left to go, she suddenly realized no one would ever say or spell it correctly, remembered that she hated that about her own name, and changed her mind. 

When was the last time you cried? Two weeks ago. The vacuum broke, and I was trying out a new medicine that made me overemotional. 

Do you have kids? Nope. I was fortunate to find out at a young age that my body made that a non-option, and since adoption is expensive and I wasn’t firmly committed either way, it was easy to decide that just wouldn’t be part of my life. 98% of the time I think that’s the decision I would have made anyway. 2% of the time I wonder, but then a parent in my life starts talking about 3 hour long practices for Youth Sports or violating their preschool’s dress code on socks, and the feeling passes. 

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not as much as I used to. I’m really deadpan, and there have been too many times where I thought it was obvious I was joking but apparently was not. 

What's the first thing you notice about people? Hair, if it’s long. General height and build otherwise. 

What's your eye color? Blue.

Scary movies or happy endings? I’m going to have to continue the wimp train. Happy endings for sure. 

Any special talents? I don’t know if this counts as a talent, but I am mostly immune to minor injury. Not in that I don’t get them - I do, a lot - but I don’t really feel it and don’t react. Mostly I use this power to get my mom’s giant, scratchy baby of a cat to the vet and to make poor life decisions while gardening, but once I got to make a shitty magician look slightly worse. 

Where were you born? In a hospital that apparently had amazing tea when I was born but terrible tea when my brother was. 

What are your hobbies? I play video games. 

Have any pets? 5 cats, but a couple of them are less “pets” and more “polite housemates who still quietly harbor the belief that I might eat them.” I kidnapped them off the street, and they haven’t forgotten that. 

What sports do you play/have you played? Horseback riding was the only one I was big into, but I did volleyball and basketball for a while too. 

How tall are you? 5′ 8″

Favorite subject in school? Core subject? English. Electives tended to vary based on the teacher (for instance, military history is not my thing, but the teacher was great, so I liked that class), but purely in terms of material, Fire Science was interesting. 

Dream job? Pay me to pet the whale sharks please. Do they want pets? Do they like pets? I don’t know, but they look very soft. 

I am absolutely not going to tag 15 people, partly because that’s a big number and partly because I’ve seen a number of mutuals already tagged but here is a smaller list: @carinavet, @fledgling-witch, @le-claire-de-lune, @coaxionunlimited, @queen-scribbles, @haledamage, and @anyone who wants to do this regardless of mutual status. 

[akira-cr]

CINDEREKI and its REFERENCES to the CANON Episodes

Before we get into the References, here are some important notes to keep in mind:

This Cindereki is happened (behind the scene) in Reki's dream the night after episode 10 (Renga Made up) and before episode 11. So, i think his subconscious mind repeating past events and turning them into a Cindereki story.

But that DOESN'T mean this Cindereki comes from Reki's POV only, but it could also be from Langa's POV as well.

Numbers in Red for Reki's POV, Blue for Langa's POV.

Here are all (in chronological) the references I found in Cindereki and tried to connect them to what's happening in canon

1) "‌Evil stepmom n sisters went to Castle n Leave Reki behind" is refers to how Cherry, Shadow n Miya DIDN'T reach out to Reki when Reki stopped coming to 'S' but canonically only Joe DID, which is why he took on the role of Fairy godmother/Magician and the other three as antagonist.

2) ‌Snowboard made of Glass = Reki's Reason for coming to the Tournament

Sounds strange but hear me out. Before, we all thought a 'Glass Skateboard' is a foreshadowing to Reki's S pin but sadly we found out that pin seems to be not so important now in ep11. So maybe Snowboard made of glass is not represent by an objects, but by Reki himself (or Reki's reasons).

Joe/Magician give Reki a 'Glass skateboard' so he could enter the Crazy Rock Castle. This reference to Canon when Joe encouraged reki to come even if it was just to 'Watching'. This was Joe give Reki a 'Reason' to come to the tournament.

This's how Reki headed toward crazy rock castle (S arena) holding on hard to that glass Skateboard (he holding on to a sole reason on watching Langa's beef)

3) ‌This line 👇

are reference to 👇

4) ‌"He was alone in this country to" That reference to Langa's lonely Flashback and him forgetting the reason to Skating.

5) ‌Reki run into Prince Langa and collided is refers to this iconic moment

6) ‌Langa admires Reki's glass Skateboard and called it PRETTY, is Langa thinking of REKI himself PRETTY/AMAZING

7) ‌Narrator's Line

This is a reference to Reki's voice that calling out to Langa, burning his jaded body back into full of adrenaline heats filled with excitement again.

8) ‌Reki telling Langa Skating is infinite (this is a literal references of Langa remembering Reki's words).

9) ‌Langa catches Reki from falling and Reki says 'you saved me' is also a literal reference from Canon. Reki's subconscious mind brought back the beautiful memories he had with Langa.

10) ‌"The prince that had looked so bored was nowhere to be seen" is reference to

11) "‌The ending bell" is refers to the end of the Langa-Joe (Joe's Magic) beef and Reki leaving Langa onesidedly, and left (the Prince) to searching/asked anyone for Reki.

12) ‌"Prince Langa went to houses w daughters and had them skate w glass skateboard but NONE of them could produce the ice Road" is a reference to when Langa went to the tournament (and even tho he had such a rad beef) but he DIDN'T hear the sound of his Heart beating.

This is the most FUN references🔽

13) ‌The Magic Ice Road = Langa's Beating heart

You see in Cindereki when They both LAUGHED and Skates TOGETHER an amazing ICE ROAD appeared. This refers to when they skate/being TOGETHER, when Langa skate w Reki it feels so FUN/amazing LANGA's HEART STARTS BEATING so fast.

Langa's "I finally found you" "would you ride w me?" is a reference from

Langa's "I knew it was you" ONLY with Cindereki that Sparkling Ice road✨ appeared again. This reference to "it really was what i thought" My heart only beating when i'm with Reki

"Prince Langa Gently took CindeReki's hand n the two of them lived happily ever after" is a reference to Langa proposing this

❄️🌺

That's all guys, i hope you likes it😆

Full Cindereki Translation check➡️ @kudouusagi

[maria-akira]

how you meet the ahs boys + their reaction while you're having a class - PART 1

—♡—

hey yall im back again 🧍🏻‍♀️ is this what you call a headcanon?? idk BAHAHSHHA. anyways i've had this idea in my mind for a while and i wanted to share it to yall, so i hope you guys like it 😌

these also have a little back story on how you guys meet !!

also, special mention to @tatestripedsweater for helping me give ideas with jimmy's part !! thank you so much mwah 🥺❤

warnings: none! just pure fluff <3

please excuse any errors !

—♡—

~♡ TATE LANGDON:

before the pandemic, you and your family have moved into the murder house.

the house gave your family a very odd vibe, but nonetheless all of you had to bear with it because it was sold for a cheap price.

but when the pandemic arrived the country, you were stuck at home 24/7. thus, classes were online.

you met tate because of your father. tate was one of his patients and the both of you grew close.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

tate would randomly barge in your room while having a class and you would jump out of shock.

"Jesus, Tate. Stop scaring me like that!"

tate would giggle and lay on your bed, observing the lesson that the teacher rambled about.

while you're writing notes, he would stand up and take a chair from some part of your room and sit beside you.

knowing that tate is clingy, you would warn him not to bug you and behave while you listened in class.

of course, he doesn't listen and he would place his head on your shoulder and eventually would cuddle you.

"Taaate, please let me focus."

luckily, you always keep your camera off.

"Mmm, no. I enjoy bugging you."

~♡ KIT WALKER:

one time, you were driving to school on your own and you were almost running out of gas.

luckily, you saw a gas station nearby and decided to get a fill before heading to school. and there, you met kit.

when you first laid your eyes on kit, you thought that he was the prettiest man ever. you couldn't let this chance slip, thus, you exchanged numbers with him.

you talked all day and night, the both of you were so inlove with each other and you finally decided to introduce him to your parents.

your parents loved him and you were so, so happy.

but when the pandemic came, it affected your relationship with kit.

since all schools and unis were closed down, everything went online.

when kit stayed over, he couldn't spend a lot of time with you because you had to attend classes early in the morning, till afternoon.

"Can you stay in bed with me for a little bit, darling?"

unfortunately, you woke up late that day and you missed 10 minutes of your first class. and just like that, you were stuck to your desk until afternoon.

"Kit baby, I'm sorry. I'm late for my first class. Maybe later, okay?"

as much as kit hated this whole online class thing, he would always find a way to cheer you up.

thus, he would cook you breakfast and bring it over to your room.

"C'mere, I'll feed you while you listen and write down notes."

~♡ KYLE SPENCER (PRE DEATH AND POST DEATH) :

PRE DEATH:

madison, your friend, had bugged you all week to go with her to this college frat party near your house.

you weren't the party type. you loved staying at home, watching netflix or reading some sort of fan fiction on wattpad.

but you hated being single. so, this was your chance to actually get a boyfriend.

when you arrived at the party, you immediately hated it. everything was so loud and everyone was drinking, it was definitely a new sight for you.

you were sitting on a couch that was in the balcony, with a red cup that was filled with punch. you loved being away from the commotion.

this is where you met kyle, it was love at first sight. the both of you had so much in common and you thought that he was the man of your dreams.

you exchanged snapchats and from there, you were partners-in-crime.

you and kyle had stopped going to parties ever since the pandemic arrived, which means you got to see each other less.

since the both of you were students, both of your classes went online.

one time, kyle had no classes for a day and he decided to surprise you.

that day, you were having an online presentation. both your camera and microphone were on.

"Rene Descartes was the Father of Modern Philosophy—"

as you were presenting the slide show, you were cut off by kyle's presence infront of your desk.

"I brought you food, baby!"

you would shush him and suddenly turn off your mic.

"I'm so sorry, Miss. My boyfriend arrived and I—"

kyle would go beside you and kiss you on your cheek, your classmates and teacher cooing over it.

"Miss, you better give my girlfriend a good grade."

POST DEATH:

*pretend that he survived the bus accident and had a coma, because we arent involving witchcraft here*

kyle and his fraternity were on a bus that was going to some college event at school.

on the way there, you guys snapped each other and his friends would talk to you as well.

unfortunately, they got in an accident and the bus was flipped over.

a few students, including kyle, survived the accident.

when you heard this news, you cried your heart out and you didnt talk to anyone in your family.

you and your family visited the hospital and you rushed to kyle's room, it broke your heart to see tubes in him, with machines that beeped like there was no tomorrow.

when the doctor said that kyle was in a coma, your heart sank in the deepest part of your body.

this made you stay 24/7 with him until he was discharged.

when he was discharged from the hospital, he was not his usual self. the bubbly, energetic kyle was gone. instead, he was so confused with everything.

kyle's mom made him stay with you until he got his memory back, and you were more than glad to help.

but this took a toll on your studies because your classes were online due to a pandemic.

everyday in class, you would let kyle sit beside you and let him observe what you were doing.

"We're in Science class, Kyle. You were really good in Science, you helped me alot with my homeworks."

most of the time, you would help kyle develop his speech and his writing. but it was difficult for you.

"S-Sci... S-Sci-en.. ce?"

"Yes, Kyle! Good job, now one more time."

~♡ JIMMY DARLING:

ever since you were a kid, you loved going to carnivals, your parents would always bring you there every weekend.

there were carnivals almost everywhere, and your family brought you to all of them.

to you, each carnival was unique. the clowns and magicians in each carnival had different tricks up their sleeve.

but as you grew up, these carnivals slowly went out of business. except for one, which was elsa's cabinet of curiosities.

you decided to visit it one day just for a trip down memory lane, you never really had expectations for this place.

when you arrived there, there were a few people that were seated.

the show started and it instantly made you smile, they reminded you of your younger days. oh how you wished to be a child again.

you watched through a few acts, and the last act was a man named jimmy darling

when he came on stage, you locked eyes with him. there was something about him that really struck you.

after the performance ended, jimmy ran over to you and got your number. from there, you always talked and you would visit him regularly.

the regular visits stopped when the pandemic struck the country, forcing entertainment establishments, schools and unis to close down.

for the mean time, all your classes went online. you told jimmy that he could stay with you until things went back to normal.

on an early tuesday morning, you were in english class. jimmy was with your parents preparing breakfast, and you were falling asleep while your teacher discussed about the odyssey.

unlike tate, jimmy would always knock on your door. as his mom always taught, never enter anyone's room without knocking.

jimmy would giggle at your sleeping sight, your head lowered and your hair messed up.

"Hey, sweetheart, wake up! You're in class."

jimmy's timing was perfect. as he woke you up, you were called by the teacher.

"Miss Y/N, Do you think Odysseus was loyal to his wife?"

obviously, you panicked. but jimmy was there to save you. since jimmy was fond of reading, he finished the book and he whispered the answer to you before you could turn on your mic.

"No, Ma'am. Odysseus had an affair with Calypso and Circe."

once you got your teacher's approval, you turned off your microphone and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're lucky that I'm here to help you."

jimmy would joke and you would jump up to him, tackling him into a hug.

"I'm always lucky to have you, baby."

~♡ DANDY MOTT

at a young age, you were exposed to different types of fabrics. denim, silk, corduroy, neoprene. they name it, you've probably seen it.

your mother worked as a fashion designer. she managed to open a shop in the city and it was a great success for you and your family.

your mother has styled famous models. because of this, the shop was promoted and broadcasted all over the country. one day when you came from school, you saw a long line outside the shop.

that day, the staff count was low. there were only 5 employees instead of 10. you didn't exactly know why, so you decided to help.

after what felt like several hours, the long line finally dissolved into 2 customers, which was a mother and her son. they looked through the shop and the mother instantly loved everything.

her son, on the other hand, was trying on this lilac tux that your mother made.

you assisted her son and when you locked eyes, the both of you smiled. you entertained him throughout his shopping spree and the both of you never broke eye contact.

this was how you met dandy. he made the first move by getting your number, and of course you gave it back.

from there, the both of you talked day and night, even when you were in school.

since dandy's mother, gloria, loved your mother's shop so much, she would invite you and your mother regularly to her mansion.

gloria and your mother got along very well, and it was like gloria was your second mother.

so when your mother went to paris for a fashion show, she let you stay in gloria's mansion until she came back.

but to your dismay, your mother was not able to come back due to a pandemic that was all over the world. flights, establishments, and schools closed down.

of course you were sad, but you didn't worry so much because gloria treated you like her real daughter.

classes were online and you were forced to attend them everyday in the shared room you had with dandy.

since you had to get ready for class early in the morning, you would quietly get out of bed because dandy was sometimes a light sleeper.

it was around 8am and you were in math class. in your school, cameras were required to be turned on at all times. you thought this was a shit rule, but you had no choice to comply.

you were drawing some circles with a compass for an example that was being discussed by your teacher, when all of a sudden dandy was beside you.

"Dandy, sweetie, what are you doing up so early? Go back to sleep.."

dandy would pout at the lack of attention that you were giving him. since he loved holding your hand, you let him hold your other hand that you didn't use for writing.

"You're doing Math instead of cuddling with me!"

—♡—

i'm actually super proud of this omg !! i hope yall enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 🥺❤

—♡—

[kaypeace21]

Crash-course for all the evidence of Will creating the mindflayer/upsidedown

* Honestly I’ve talked about this stuff in my did theories- where I explained how the upsidedown/mf/ the lab subjects/ and russians all connect back to Will creating them. But since so may people assume that Will got his powers from the upsidedown/mf rather than Will creating it all subconsciously (with his powers). Thought i’d do a short analysis of just that connection (without boggling it down with those other plot lines that are interconnected) . *So I’m not mentioning the lights -because it interconnects with the numbers/lab.I’m just going to list every example in short succession from every season for brevity’s sake (so it won’t be structured as eloquently as prior analyses). 

refresher of how Will influences the mf/upsidedown ...

S1) 

Will ( in s1e1) says to Dustin if he could have any comic it would be the xmen. Dustin later  says "do you think - el was born with her powers like the xmen? " Will plays a d&d game saying the demogorgan got him -so it does irl. Will writes stories where bad guys weakness are fire so the mf/ demogorgans are lit on fire in s1-3 (and it's their weakness). Will watches poltergeist so Will is forced to be the child character in that film- who was trapped in a alternative dimension and could only speak to their mother through tech. The demogrgan is said to resemble a shark by nancy-mathcing Will’s Jaws movie poster in his room. in s1 Mr clarke describes the vale of shadows (later the upsidedown) as being created by “necrotic” (’dead’-zombie boy) and “shadow” (shadow monster/mf) “magic”. In d&d the Vale of Shadows, is  as a lush valley hidden in the mountains that holds a sacred pool with the power to make dreams reality. In d&d the demogorgan is literally called the "deep father" in d&d Nancy also says the demogorgan is like a “lion” the meaning of the name Lonnie- is literally “lion”. We see it attack Will when using lonnie's gun (in lonnie's shed). And it knocks the bat out of Jonathan's hand too. (Baseball/hunting were taught by their dad lonnie). The demogorgan also hurts a deer- mirroring Jonathan's story about how Lonnie forced him to kill a rabbit and how this upset him as he was a fan of the rabbit character from the film bambi.. El when she first sees the demogorgan also sees it eating it’s own eggs-aka symbolically the father hurting his own children.  Will's password for cb is rhadagast a wizard who protects Wildlife (the opposite of Hunter-lonnie/the demogorgan). 

Duffers cited as inspo the silent hill videogames): And in s1 Hopper named dropped the character Alessa’s last name. “The bad guys faked Alessa’s death. Kaufmann prepared a substitute body of alessa;  and performed the fake autopsy (like Will) . Alessa had precognition (future/intuition-like will the wise is said to have in s3) and pyrokinesis (firepowers mentioned  Will the wise has in s1).  Alessa’s latent psychic abilities are triggered and she shrouds Silent Hill in fog and an altered reality to prevent her ab*sive parent’s schemes from advancing. Many of the drastic changes that befall the town in the game, such as the horrific creatures that come to inhabit it, are conjured from her imagination and delusions. “ 

Will also says in s1ep1 he wants xmen 134-about the dark phoenix saga. ‘dark phoenix’  - has pyrokinesis ( fire powers-like Will the wise). And the dark phoenix also  “was able to warp reality on a universal scale”. One of the phoenix’s host was even the god Thor (god of lightning-an element Will is associated with a lot in s2)

(in s1 Will also spit up a slug- in d&d putting a slug in a humanoid can create/turn that humanoid into a mf. foreshadowing Will being posessed/becoming the mf in s2. ).

S2)

 Will plays digdug (a videogame about underground tunnels) so the mf creates tunnels. Will's dog dies so demogogans become demo-dogs. He also watches Ghostbusters- where a character is possessed by the ‘gate keeper’ and can control demon dogs. So this happens to Will too -similar to s1 with poltergeist .In s1 , Hopper even mentions the book Cujo about a violent dog, who is replaced by a new dog named ‘Willie’ (to allude to this).In s1 we see  Mike holding a drawing of Will’s- where Will's wizard has lightning powers (coming from his hand). everytime Will uses tech in s1, the phones explode and lighting appears out of them- hopper makes a BBQ joke about the burned phones.later in s2 the mf has these same lightning abilities and the lab technician makes the same BBQ joke.Joyce even describes the tunnels of the mf/ that Will’s draws as “like lightning.”  We also see the russians eviserated by lightning next season too.

A lab tech calls Will a wizard-and they monitor his brain waves, record him on video, just like they did to El .(when the mf first appears at Will’s house- the lab techs even notice ). The drawing of the mf is next to a baseball (Lonnie ref) and Will says it was a drawing for a story he wrote. In s2 Nancy describes the mindflayer (but she’s actually describing Will).“So this thing is like a brain that’s controlling everything.”Because it’s not the mindflayers’ brain - it’s Will’s brain controlling everything. ( a “hive mind” aka the mf/WILL share a brain ). Owens in s2e1 (BEFORE the mf possession) says Will's ‘anniversary affect’ would make him remember “tra*matic memories” and “OPEN the neurological flood GATES” (aka Will’s neurological GATES are the gates between the real world and upsidedown - which are connected to the mf).  

 Owens in s2e1 (after mentioning the “gates”) even says Will's ‘anniversary affect’ /  “tr*umatic memories” would  cause temporary “personality changes”for Will (the later mf possession) . I mean... Owens wasn’t entirely wrong was he? Will even feels the back of his neck in s2 and says it has to do with “memories” ...and in s3 feeling the back of his neck meant Will was sensing  the mf. Similarly, before his possession-mr clarke  mentions phineus gage who after an accident had a “complete change to his personality” (and the shot pans to Will).

Nancy even calls the mind flayer the “mind-flamer”- hinting at it’s connection to Will the wise who has fire powers). And Dustin says the mf “takes over minds with it’s highly developed psyionic abilities “ And to “summon an undead army... cause the mindflayer loves brains ” ( and in s3 the mf creates a undead army by taking over people’s brains). Hopper  even says “So how do we kill this thing shoot it with fireballs ?” (which destroys the flesh-monster in s3) ”

S3) 

Will (the “zombie boy”) writes a story about juju zombies after watching a film about zombies at starcourt in s3 - then the mf creates a undead army -which was also foreshadowed in s2 (and similar to Will’s  s3 d&d story).  We also see Will wrote this d&d story in front of "the thing" poster. So the mf creates a flesh monster resembling the creature in that film too.  We also see someone get bit (el) like in Will's story and when his friends retcon his ending to be about “sacrificing themselves via explosion (Hopper).” Will just says “fine you win” (so it ends that way).Also, the shadow monster is now called the Mindflayer - and mimics the mf from d&d (both can control rats with their powers in the show/game).  

Will in s2-3 grabs the back of his neck and he attributed it to “memories”, “dreams”, and sensing the mf. Will created castle byers after his dad left and he grabs the bat in cb which was next to the Will the wise drawing (similar to how the baseball was next to the mf drawing in s2) and destroys cb with said bat . Then Will touches his neck and admits the mf has returned.  EVERY moment Will senses the mf can be loosely connected to Lonnie. Lonnie used to call him h*mophobic sl*rs so anytime he subconsciously thinks of his feelings towards Mike the mf appears-1st time it’s on one of their ‘movie dates’, 2nd time when Mike and El walk off together down the hill to make-out, 3rd time right after he smashed castle byers after Mike says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, 4th time (after the fight with Mike) when Billy is yelling to open the door (a trigger) and confides in Mike, 5th time when Mike asks him to go away so he can talk to El in the hospital waiting area, and 6th time when Mike says he loves El. The 7th time is when Jonathan is fixing up a car -something Lonnie used to do.Lonnie fixes up cars as a hobby-showing his remodeled car to Jonathan in s1 . Will then senses the mf and grabs his neck-which he said are connected to old “memories”.  max and Mike are silent until Jonathan says  says “got it (the distributor)”. Then Mike screams for his older sibling. We also see in s1 Jonathan checked to see if Lonnie threw Will in his trunk- something the mf does to some of his victims in s3.

Dustin and susie sing “never ending story”- which is literally about a seemingly normal boy  named Sebastian with a bowl cut (from a single parent home) subconsciously making a fantasy world being invaded by a dark force (representing the loss of hope/dreams) that only his imagination powers can fix . “make believe i’m everywhere ... what you dream will be...Rhymes that keep their secrets Will unfold behind the clouds.And there upon a rainbow Is the answer to a never ending story” . Cough-Will’s rainbow ship he CREATED.Both times the  lyric plays  “Rhymes that keep their secrets WILL “ ( it pans to Will). 

The film also follows a false chosen one who everyone says is supposed to save fantasia- named Atreyu (el). Specifically, for that plotwist that Sebastian (Will) has to be the one to do so , not Atreyu (who sebastian subconsciously created). In the novel/film-Atreyu ( the child who was deemed the ‘chosen one) is knocked from Falkor’s back, and into the sea of possibilities. There he wakes on the shore of abandoned ruins. 

“There Gmork (The Mindflayer) reveals himself, having been lying in wait.And then latches his jaws onto Atreyu’s leg.”

-Before the duet, Susie tells dusin she’s reading “ a wizard of earthsea” and says ged is about to save his world. The book is about a boy-wizard  named Ged (Will) who casts a powerful spell, but the spell goes awry and instead he releases a shadow creature! The new Archmage, Gensher, describes the shadow as an ancient evil that wishes to possess Ged. But the ‘shadow’ turns out  to be a representation of the darkest aspects of his personality. And the only way for the world to be saved is for the 2 to merge and for Ged to accept himself . 

-Will says he’s a wizard ( writing on a music tape in s3 “will the wise-wizard mix’ and having his password for castle byers be ‘rhadaghast’- a lotr wizard). The way they describe d&d Wizards matches Will/mindflayer perfectly “Wizards are adepts and magicians who combine according to the type of their spells. Relying on the subtle weaves of magic that permeate the universe, wizards are able to create spells of explosive fire, sparking lightning, subtle deception, and gross mind control. Their magic summons monsters from other planes of existence, predicts the future, and turns defeated enemies into zombies. Their most powerful spells can transform one substance into another, summon meteors from the sky, and open portals to other worlds” (all these powers Will the wise/mf are implied to have)

- Stranger things d&d comic (published post s3) : Will creating a illusion army of monsters -as Will the wizard.

- stranger writers twitter reffed several movies which discuss artist/writer WILLiam Blake who helped make the art exhibit “worlds turned upsidedown” 

possible reason for the flayed eating  chemicals& fertilizer (in s3)

full link/credits here.  Lonnie’s gf has a biker shirt from Harley davidson- with the eagle logo and their saying “live to ride’. Which would imply lonnie is also in such biker circles. Harley davidson in the 80s had dr*g gangs too (primarily m*th).

 One reason m*th is so prevalent in rural areas is that it can be formulated, or “cooked,” by small producers and one of the ingredients is readily found on most farms – anhydrous AMMONIA fertilizer. Both farmers and chemical suppliers have experienced thefts of anhydrous particularly in the Midwest.“

WHICH REMINDS ME OF the FLAYED EATING FERTILIZER AND CHEMICALS IN S3 . Nancy even says farmers/chem suppliers  are having fertilizer stolen! And she later thinks flayed tom was on drugs- “A mysterious  case of the missing fertilizer- a Nancy Drew Mystery”. This is also in the same season one character (who looks a bit like Lonnie) is a biker is corrupting the town.

Will creating /basing the supernatural from suppressed memories -means it’s from a very young child’s perspective . young Will would equate people eating chemicals, ammonia fertilizer, and ammonia... to using those SAME chemicals to create m*th and then physically consuming them . Why we see mrs driscoll eating fertilizer & Billy drinking ammonia.

The reason the flayed started behaving differently is probably because in s2 Will was forcibly injected with a needle & woken up with ammonia by Hopper-jogging some of those old memories. 

EVEN Nancy’s proof Tom is on dr*gs is a symptom of m*th use or withdrawl from it-excessive sweating (like all the flayed in s2-3). M*th causes hyperthermia (body is at a higher temp than usual)-so they like it cold!!!!! Even clammy hands that she mentioned is a symptom of m*th use. in children it can even cause seizures- like Will :(

And when m*th is made via fertilizer it first is made into a highly corrosive liquid which is sometimes green-like the Russian lab.“six pounds of toxic waste is created for every pound of m*th manufactured. The waste is often dumped on farms, in rivers and and is harmful to the environment.” Like all the chemical leaks relating to Hawkins lab/mf that affected the crops in s2/this pic of water in s3.

m*th was even called ‘bathroom crank’-which is sketchy given the bathtub is what mf fears and how the sensory deprivation tank is also called a ‘tub’ by el . Becky even said Brenner would get terry high and throw her in the tank/tub.

It also does take some chemisty knowledge to COVERT various substances (including fertilizer and other chemicals) to make m*th- which reminds me of the kids saying they can convert one substance into another (when explaining why the possessed are eating chemicals)- they say they’re making a new chemical “in themselves”

other hints

Will’s b day is march 22 . Which is when “fire burns most brightly” and his ‘birthday number is number 7′ (”it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me′) . The number 7  is specifically associated with  “wisdom and psychic abilities”.  His b day even adds up to 7 (3+2+2).His horoscope is also influenced by the shadow god-ketu (who is also associated with wisdom and psychic abilities too). 

* There’s way more details/depth/ other st inspirations in my DID analyses -specifically pt 2. (where i discuss how the mf/upsidedown connects to the numbers/russians- and also specifially Will).But this is just a crash course about the flayed/upsideown/it’s creatures connect to Will.

People will dismiss all of this as just the Duffers liking to reference random things they like/ and foreshadow via d&d without any in universe reason.  but I really think that’s a disappointing explanation/outcome. Especially the predictable cliche theory that the mf is just experiment #1. Not only is it boring, cliche, and predictable af- but it doesn’t line up as well with the mental health themes mentioned in ever season.Will created everything via tr*uma cause of his dad- and overcomes this: is not only a “twist” that will make rewatching more enjoyable given all the hints- it’s more narratively sound given how much the series touches on themes such as overcoming tra*ma, mental health, and problematic fathers. The #1/ex experiment=mf theory doesn’t explain why they made the supernatural connect to Will in this way . And with such a boring cliche ending it would quickly be forgotten like other big sci-fi/fantasy shows that quickly lost relevancy after being popular: like heros, g.o.t, etc.One makes the show cliche another makes it remembered for decades (ex: jacob’s ladder).

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Letter 8: 🗡 💤 Within a Distant Dream 💤 🗡

A letter arrives in the mail. The delicate parchment crinkles between your fingers as you remove the paper from its envelope—the soft sound sending a pleasant tingle down your spine. The ink seems to be imbued with a silvery finish, giving the black letters a subtle shine.

A small, fragrant satchel accompanies the letter. Dried chamomile and lavender petals are stuffed inside the fine mesh pouch, the potpourri giving off a soft, soothing aroma. Set upon your mattress, it is sure to grant you the sweetest of dreams.

***Spoilers for chapter 2 and chapter 5!***

To Whom it may Concern,

I do not believe we have been formally introduced to one another, but I know of you.

We met at midnight, while Sebek and I were scouting the area for the missing young master. I believe it was during the attempted stampede when we encountered one another again. At the time, Sebek and I had been alerted to a potential threat to our lord’s safety. We thought it wise to keep the young master away—and that was what was executed.

The tip from Riddle helped immensely with securing the scene. I don’t think I can count the number of times Sebek shouted his thanks to him afterwards... But we should be thanking you as well. I heard that it was because of your investigating that the stampede plot was uncovered. From the bottom of my heart, you have my gratitude.

In a way, I feel a sort of kinship with you. Is that strange? I do not even know your name, and yet I feel that there is something which binds us together. It is like falling through a whimsical dream, but snapping awake at the most important part. And still that thread remains, tethering me to the realm of fantasy. A lingering question, persisting in the back of my head. “What was it? What was in the dream? What am I forgetting? What is the point of connection?” I cannot quite place my finger on it.

It may come down to our similar circumstances. Thrust into an unknown place, without anyone to name as companions—and yet we have found ourselves surrounded by those that care for us. Friends forging found families. “Blood of the covenent is thicker than water of the womb”... as my father has said.

It is nice... to be included, to not be forgotten. That is a sentiment which my lord has echoed as well. You must know of him by now: he is the great Malleus Draconia, dorm leader of Diasomnia. A powerful magician. And heir to the throne of the Valley of Thorns.

He speaks fondly of you, of this mysterious friend he has made. You spoke to him as an equal, and invited him to a performance. You remembered him, and invited him into your “family”. At first, I was wary (though not to the same extent as Sebek). Many seek to profit or to gain by coming into close quarters with the young master, but I did not sense any ill intent in you in our few encounters.

You only sought to protect him—a duty which typically lies within myself and Sebek. But more than that, you wanted to genuinely befriend him, the young master that is often shunned. Deemed too frightening.

That is another similarity between us two: a sense of guardianship. We share a desire to keep the young master out of harm’s way. We want to see him safe and happy.

Is that just my imagination filling in the gaps of my dream? Perhaps so. But... I’d like to think that you are a good person. Or, at the very least, that you try to be. I have faith in the young master’s judgement, and I will follow where he leads. I hope that you do not betray that trust—mine, and that of the young master.

... I look forward to meeting you someday, so that I may finally extend my hand to you and shake yours, so that I can finally learn your name.

When we make that connection, I can know for certain that you are real. Not just a dream in the distance.

Faithfully,

⚔️ Silver ⚔️

Malleus Draconia-sama’s Retainer

Horseback Riding Club Member

Second Year NRC Student

[darlingpetao3]

House of W (Multiple!Wells x Reader, Chapter 2)

Rating: T

Summary: After having to deal with the deaths of an infinite number of Harrison Wells in the Multiverse, you, a magic-wielding meta, have a breakdown and unwittingly create a happy, fictitious sitcom life with some of your favourite men. In a world of comedy and cameos, can Team Flash and an out-of-town magician break through your powers to save you? And what if you don’t want to be saved...?

Tag List: @fandomdancer @bluesclues-1234 @pinkdiamond1016 @crissymadlock @ensign-tilly @disneyoncerlover815 @marvel-lady10 @thecaptainsgingersnap @noctvrnalmoth @alexxlynn @dontbedumb3 @heyl0lwhatsup @ryou-cosmos​

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER 1

Birds tweeting, sun shining…

Big strong arms around you.

“Well, well, Wells,” you say with a scratchy morning voice and twist your body around in bed to see who’s got you in his grasp. Ah. “Good morning, Harry.”

“Good morning, (Y/L/N),” the scientist replies. You just love how strands of his hair stick up in place. Harry arguably has the best bedhead.

“You know dear, since we are married after all, don’t you think it would be more acceptable to call me by my first name?”

Harry chuckles and pulls you closer against him.

“You do raise a fair point. (Y/N).”

“That’s more like it.”

He kisses your nose. Shortly after he does, it starts to feel itchy. You feel like you’re about to sneeze. It wiggles and wiggles until—

“Achoo!”

Suddenly, Harry, who had been clad in his silky pyjamas is now- oh my.

“(Y/N), did you just sneeze my clothes away?”

You can hardly answer the Wells in your bed because you’re so enthralled by his lack of clothing under the sheets.

“Happy accident?” you offer innocently. Harry shakes his head and smiles as if to signify that you’re up to your old antics again.

“Come here, you,” he says and pulls the covers over you both.

* * * *

The scene is really quite comical.

Harry walks briskly with his long legs into work at S.T.A.R. Toys Manufacturing Inc. as you try to keep up with quick little steps and a clipboard… while H.R. trails behind you like a maniac with a tray of coffee.

“(Y/N), I believe you have some explaining to do,” Harry speaks to you over his shoulder. “Can you remind me why you’re at work with me? And why the numbskull, too?”

“Handsome numbskull!” H.R. jokingly clarifies. Harry rolls his eyes.

“I told you, honey,” you begin, “I decided it would be best for me to get a job instead of sitting around the house. Plus, an assistant here was the only position available. I thought that was terribly convenient. We can spend more time together now, isn’t that wonderful? As for H.R., I hired him as my assistant!”

“My assistant has an assistant?”

“Don’t question it, honey,” you tell him and pat him on the cheek. Just then, two young employees walk up to you. They look rather familiar, but you can’t place why at the moment.

“Good morning, Mr. Wells,” the pair greet Harry. “And Mrs. Wells. ...And Mr. Wells.”

“Ah, good morning Garcia. Runk,” Harry answers. “I trust your projects are coming along?”

“That they are, Sir,” the young man called Runk replies.

“We should have them finished and ready by end of day,” Garcia, the young woman, adds.

“I’m glad to hear it-”

“-Well done, chaps!” H.R. interrupts. “You’re all doing such magnificent work. All for the children.”

“All for the children,” Garcia and Runk agree.

Harry clears his throat and whispers to you, “I think assistants to the assistants should be seen and not heard.”

“I’ll have a little chat with him,” you tell your handsome boss husband. “Now, let’s build some toys!”

* * * *

After a long day at the factory, you, Harry, and H.R. all return home. The delicious scent of dinner greets you as you walk in the door.

“Mmm, I wonder what Sherloque and Nash are cooking up!” you think out loud.

“I hope it’s nothing French,” Harry says semi-bitterly.

“H.R., can you go see what they’re up to in there, sweetie?”

“I most certainly can, dearest!” he responds then disappears into the kitchen. You are sure to take this opportunity to have some more one-on-one time with Harry on the couch. As you sit, he sets his briefcase down on the coffee table and removes from it a small rocket ship. After turning it around in his hands, Harry hands it to you.

“I’d been working on this today,” he says.

“Oh Harry, it is so groovy. You do such fine work.”

“The idea came to me in a dream.”

“You make dreams come true for children every day.”

Harry turns to you. “I think I’ve always wanted kids. But I guess it’s never happened for me.” He looks into your eyes. “I think I’d like to have one with you someday, (Y/N). How do you feel about that?”

“I feel… I feel…” Your nose starts to wiggle again. “Achoo!”

“(Y/N), are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Oh, yes, I’m completely and totally, whoaaaa!” You stand up to get a better look at yourself, finding that your tummy has a noticeable roundness to it.

“Are you…?” Harry asks. The rest of the Wells men come rushing into the living room.

“Qu’est-ce qui se passe?”

“I heard another sneeze!”

“Jumping juniper, (Y/N)’s pregnant!”

They all group around you in a half-circle to admire your belly and to declare their delight at the very abrupt surprise.

“Is this really happening?” you ask all of them, falling deeper and deeper into your happiness.

“I couldn’t imagine a better life with you,” Harry says and punctuates his final word with a kiss. Everything about this moment just seems… so much more colourful and vibrant.

And perfect.

~ ~ ~ ~

Barry had urgently messaged Cisco and Caitlin to meet him back at the Grand Central City Auditorium, where they had just seen Zatanna’s magic act. The plan—what very little of a plan he had—was to race to find Zatanna, the Mistress of Magic, and ask for her help.

Word on the street was that Miss Zatara’s act wasn’t mere illusions. People have said that she really does possess a special magical power. And if this was the case, she was their only hope to retrieve you from whatever world you’ve gotten yourself into.

They say sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Well, now Team Flash is going to fight magic with magic.

It took a bit of making a scene inside the venue with the security guards for Zatanna to finally come out of her dressing room to see who was causing the commotion.

“Hi, excuse me, what’s going on here?”

“Zatanna? My name is Barry Allen,” your brother introduces himself. “I was at your show tonight.”

“Flawless,” Cisco can’t help but add.

“Sure,” she says, probably very much wanting him to get to the point. “How can I help you, Barry Allen?”

“We have a bit of a magical issue. My sister has gotten herself into a situation. We need your help.”

Zatanna’s big round eyes squint slightly, but whatever she sees in these three strangers surely isn’t threatening.

“Your sister, you say?” The Mistress of Magic always did have a soft spot for family. “Where is she?”

“You better come with us and see for yourself.”

~ ~ ~ ~

“Wow, this is quite the setup,” Zatanna says, taking in the Cortex upon her arrival. “Now, you said that your sister is broadcasting her own sitcom?”

“That’s right,” Barry confirms. “I switched on the TV earlier, and there she was in black and white. But the weird thing is that her set looked almost identical to her home, except not because her real home exploded-”

“Yeah, that’s the weird bit,” Cisco pipes up sarcastically. “Definitely not that she’s married to four different versions of the same man.”

“What?” Zatanna looks entirely confused. “Okay, you guys are going to have to catch me up.”

“No problem. The episode is streaming online. On repeat.”

“Cisco, pull up the show on the monitors,” Barry orders. The engineer does so, and the crew proceeds to analyze the sitcom episode.

“This man... or these men, rather—you said they died?” Zatanna asks the room. The rundown the gang gave her on the way to S.T.A.R Labs was quite rushed, so naturally it would only generate more questions.

“That’s right. I saw them disappear before my eyes,” Barry confirms. “They sacrificed themselves for us.”

Zatanna hums in thought. “Whether they’re truly dead or not, she must be using an incredible amount of magic to create this world and broadcast this across the airwaves.”

“Guys!” Caitlin raises her voice. “We have an incoming broadcast!”

The monitors change after a bit of static. Now, instead of the episode Team Flash was watching, a brand new jingle comes through the speakers.

“Is this…?” Barry starts.

“She released Episode Two!” Cisco cheers. Everyone in the room shoots him a look. “What? I’m invested.” As they watch the new episode, they take frantic notes, searching for any kind of clues.

“Look!” Barry points at the screen to the familiar faces.

“How did Allegra and Chester get in there?” Caitlin wonders.

“They have a guest-starring role…” Cisco notes, possibly with a hint of jealousy.

“And who are they?” Zatanna inquires.

“They’re our friends,” Barry clarifies. “At least, I think they are. They can't be illusions, can they? Created by (Y/N)?”

“I’ll call them and see if we can hear their phones ringing in the show,” Caitlin suggests. As she attempts the call, the rest of the team stands and stares at the screens hoping for some form of ringing sound. This episode seemed to be styled more in the Sixties, so it was unlikely that they’d actually see Chester and Allegra pull out a cell phone.

Nothing. No sound.

They must not have their phones on them…

A little while longer passes, with even more analyses by Team Flash and Zatanna studying your power on screen. Once in a while, she’ll ask Barry for background information about you. Which brings her to ask the all important question:

“How did (Y/N) get her powers?”

Barry goes on to explain your origin story, which coincides with his own. It was that one fateful night where Barry was in his CSI lab at CCPD, and so were you. You had stopped by to see how he was doing after the whole debacle of Iris getting her laptop stolen and Eddie saving the day instead. (To Barry’s credit, he tried really hard to catch the criminal, he just wasn’t fast enough). But you were checking up on him when the Particle Accelerator exploded and sent a wave of extraordinary, uncontained power across the city. You saw the lightning in the sky and tried to get Barry away from holding that metal chain, but in doing so, you also got caught in the crosshairs of the accident. Your brother fell into the shelf of chemicals as the lightning struck at the same time you knocked over a box of evidence—stolen ancient crystals from the Central City Museum.

Zatanna takes in the story silently, nodding in the right places. She’s deep in thought when a voice comes from the entrance to the Cortex: “Hey guys, what’s going on in here?”

Barry rushes to the two younger members of Team Flash, Allegra and Chester. “How did you two get in there? How did you get out?”

“Get in where?” Allegra wonders.

“Come on! In (Y/N)’s sitcom,” Cisco says. “Did she send out a casting call or did she just tell you that you got the parts?”

Chester and Allegra glance at each other with identical furrowed brows.

“You really don’t know what happened, do you?” Caitlin asks them.

“What happened?” they reply in unison.

Cisco stands up immediately. “I’ll get the popcorn.”

As he replays the footage, both of the ‘guest stars’ shake their heads in disbelief.

“Wow, nope, don’t remember any of that,” Chester says.

“No,” Allegra agrees. “One minute I’ve got my feet up in the Lounge, and the next I’m here walking into the Cortex.”

“Interesting,” Caitlin muses. “Interesting, but beyond strange. It’s like they’ve been mind wiped of the experience. We need more answers.” The rest of the episode plays out to reveal the big cliffhanger at the end.

“(Y/N)’s going to have a baby?!” Cisco shouts. “Oh man, things just got real. I wonder who’s the father... You don’t think (Y/N) would turn her show into a Maury episode, do you?”

“Zatanna, is there anything you can do?” Barry asks desperately. “This is getting out of hand.”

“I can cast a locating spell. All I have to do is say the words of what I wish backward for it to take hold.” Zatanna readies herself. “(N/Y) etacol,” the magician utters with her eyes closed. Everyone in the room stands silent in case making any kind of noise would ruin whatever spell she has cast.

They hold their breaths.

“I’m getting something…” Zatanna says eventually. “It’s like a signal of sorts. I can see it in my mind. And it’s coming from… here.”

“What do you mean, ‘here’?” Barry presses.

“Here. As in S.T.A.R. Labs.”

[13shapeshifters]

(Ok so this is obviously going to contain huge spoilers for the Raven King) @girlbossfarooqlane , this one goes out to you

When I first listened to the chapter at the end of the book of Cabeswater sacrificing itself to save Gansey, my first thought was that Cabeswater was creating Persephone- was making itself Persephone- to be exchanged for Ganseys life.

It might sound a bit strange in the beginning but hear me out! I have some (good, if i might say so) reasons:

The chapter I'm talking about is chapter 67 of the Raven King. In this chapter we learn quite a few things about Cabeswater, that we know to be true because it’s literally written in its perspective:

Cabeswater is made and remade all the time. It is impossibly old and always young at the same time.

Cabeswater is not quite mortal and can’t sacrifice itself for Gansey, who is quite mortal

The sacrifice has to be a life

Adam/it's magician is the one trying to convince him of saving Gansey, giving it ideas and explaining in what limited way of communication they have

The easiest way of saving Gansey would be to make a copy of him, but Cabeswater knows that that isn’t what the Others would want and Cabeswater is all about making wishes (and not-quite-wishes) come true, so that isn’t what happened

[I would, at this point, like to point out that the way the chapter reads it sounds like Cabeswater is making Gansey new: “But it might be able to refashion him into something new” but that sounds like making a copy of Gansey but since They don’t want a copy of Gansey   Cabeswater shouldn’t be able to do it (see point 5). Although it might be (probably is as far as i understood that scene?) that Cabeswater remade Gansey entirely. As in from the moment he died the first time, the moment Gansey received “a new heart” from the ley-line to save him from certain death by wasps. That moment is the reason why Gansey is a mirror like Blue, the reason why he died the moment Blue kissed him. They kept reflecting power back at each other, stronger each time, and the weaker one had to break.

But if we ignore those two or three sentences I can just continue with my theory I spent too much time on, yknow?]

Cabeswater can’t just kill itself because a) it’s not really mortal (see point 2) and b) it’s all about creation which is- as you might know- pretty much the opposite of murder

Cabeswater mentions that the life-for-a-life sacrifice would only be possible for itself if it created itself a human shape. Let’s go with this. The rest of the chapter is Cabeswater not understanding humans but trying it’s best at creating authentic life

7.1) Cabeswater has no idea how humans are supposed to be

7.2) Cabeswater is going away to create its new life

7.3) Cabeswater keeps coming back to remember what humans are like, which likely results in life that is not quite what it’s supposed to be like but it’s close enough

7.4) It takes Ganseys wonder and regret, his humanity and puts it inside the new life. I will read this as Cabeswater copy and pasting it and not outright stealing it

Cabeswater has a very calming effect on Adam

This is just a collection of facts (with a few of my comments thrown in) so now let’s get to the things we know about Persephone to start connecting them:

Persephone is described as odd due to her youthfulness being side to side with her old wisdom (taken from the Raven Boys Wiki)

She has a concept of right and wrong but it differs very strongly from the “rulebooks” of the Others

Her physical appearance is almost unnatural, especially her eyes. They are described as black, but they turn out to be every color at once. I’m 80% sure that’s biologically not possible

3.1) It could be that her physical appearance is the result of her being a psychic, but she would be the only psychic in the Raven Cycle to have an altered appearance due to her psychic-ness

Maura and Calla meeting was a coincidence (as long as you believe in coincidences, Persephone meeting them was not

Persephone seems to be a sort of mediator of Foxway, she’s pretty much the only calm presence in the books

She taught Adam despite never taking initiative

She dies while scrying

7.1) She can not only see the past, present, future through scrying, she can participate. See: the scene before the discovery of her body in Foxway. She was with Adam one second and the next one she was gone. The cashier said that she was never there. She was projecting herself

So let’s start connecting dots, shall we?

In the chapters just before Cabeswaters chapter the focus lies on Adam and Noah.

Noah's chapter focuses on his life after death and the “time is a circle” theme that has been in every book of the Raven Cycle. Noah goes “back in time” to save Gansey, it turns out he was the one to rescue Gansey, he is the one who started his search for Glendower (which is something I could maybe write another essay on ). So Noah sacrifices his life for Gansey a second time, the first time when he dies, the second time when he moves on.

Adam meanwhile is scrying, getting back his autonomy from the demon. While scrying he sees Persephone, who is dead, and she tells him to take back control. As far as i know (could research) scrying is believed to do three things:

see the past, present and future

give visions coming from the subconscious and imagination

give visions coming from gods, demons and/or spirits

It seems to me that the scrying in the Raven Cycle is based on point 1 since there are multiple occasions where the characters use scrying as a medium to locate the present location of others.

That would not, however, explain the presence of Persephone while scrying.

What Adam is doing can’t be a vision from his subconscious since he is in Cabeswater, he sees how little is left of it.

It could be argued that she too is a projection of Cabeswater, but at that point it’s too weak to do anything, much less create a whole human being while continuously being destroyed.

There is no reason for Persephone to be there, no way for her to be there. Unless she’s part of Cabeswater.

If we start at the beginning (or the end, really) it goes like this: Cabeswater is dying and Gansey saves it. Gansey died and the Others wish for him to be alive again. Cabeswater, being the wish fulfilling forest it is, does everything to do exactly that:

Cabeswater can’t kill itself and a sacrifice would only work if it created itself a human form to inhabit to be sacrificed.

We know that time is not linear, so Cabeswater goes back a few years, and it creates Persephone. It uses up the last of its power to create itself new (always remade, reborn; see facts about Cabeswater point one) and makes itself Persephone.

Persephone is an odd person with eyes that shouldn’t be and who is young yet old and who knows so much about Cabeswater and knows how to help Adam when he is having problems with communicating with Cabeswater.

She takes Adam as an apprentice despite being often described as almost never taking the initiative and as soon as she starts teaching Adam, he stopped having his anger outbursts (See facts about Cabeswater point 8, “Cabeswater has a calming effect on Adam”).

They want Gansey to live so Cabeswater makes itself a person to help his magician help the Others get to the point where they are now (without Adam they would have never gotten to the point of finding Glendower and stopping the demon). So Cabeswater/Persephone gives Adam back his eyes and hands and Adam gives back the idea to trade Cabeswater for Ganseys life in return and Gansey lives. It's a full circle.

But wait! In Facts about Cabeswater point 2 “can’t trade Cabeswaters immortal life for Ganseys mortal one” this theory would be disproven. That's the second purpose of Persephone (the first one being making sure Adam gets to be present for Ganseys death so he can give the idea):

Persephone is the life that gets taken. Her life is the one that gets sacrificed on the leyline so Gansey can live. And one might argue about her dying before Gansey did but I would like to draw attention to two things.

Persephone died while scrying, she went too far out of her own body and never returned.

Adam saw her mere minutes before Gansey died, also while scrying

So Persephone looked into the future and she stayed there, she fulfilled her role as Adams “mentor” and she fulfilled her role as sacrifice for Gansey, giving her soul (not her body) and she never returned to Foxway, dying in the process (see facts about Persephone point 7.1)

This was her purpose, this is her something more that every significant character in the Raven Cycle has.

Obviously Gansey’s quest and sacrifice, Adam’s connection to Cabeswater, Ronan’s dreams.

Noah’s sacrifice for Ganseys life, Neeve’s role in the demon's uprising and end, being the third one in the Maura-Calla party to make it a good number.

Persephone’s something more was to be a sacrifice and she knew it. In that one scene she’s talking to Adam and he asks if she can see her own death and this is her response: “Everyone sees it. Most people make themselves stop looking, though”. She dies in the chapter following this scene, so he knows exactly what she’s doing, that she is going to die and she does it willingly because the Raven Cycle is all about working toward your something more.

Persephone also knows about her origin. She knows about her “connection” to Cabeswater (her being it, really) and it gets “addressed” in the very same scene.

Here a scene:

But Persephone just said in her tiny voice, “But I see now that it could never be. You’re like me. We’re not really like the others.”

Other what? Humans?

[...]

“We’re really better in our own company,” Persephone said. “It makes it hard, sometimes, for others when they can’t understand us.”

^^^The only really “inhuman” thing about Adam is Cabeswater, which implies that Persephone also has a connection to Cabeswater (again, my point here is trying to prove that she is Cabeswater, so that would be the connection) and the talk about not being able to understand them would only prove that further since Adam and Persephones whole relationship started because of communication problems between Cabeswater and Adam.

Here’s the “short” version:

When Gansey died Cabeswater made itself Persephone (with the help of some time warping and circling and stuff) and Persephone/Cabeswater fulfilled her two purposes (it’s just one, really): To make sure that Adam gets to the point of Gansey’s death to share the idea that will save his life and to be the life that is sacrificed.

Her/It’s whole purpose was to give Gansey life and that’s exactly what happened.

[tamorapierce]

Tammy's Spring 2020 Reading Recommendations For the Bored

Sooner or later the bookhounds among us are going to start joining my relentless song, from age five on up, of “I don’t have anything to read!!!!”

 I am here to help.  In this space, as I get to it (knowing, as my readers do, that I have no sense of deadline), I will be posting a constant set of collections of book titles by authors my team and I have read and will recommend in a wild variety of genres and for a wild variety of ages.  (And I’ll give a short hint as to the subject of the first book/series—if I did them all I’d never finish this.)  This last is for the many of you who are reading teen and adult books in grade and middle school, and those adult readers who are reading teen and kidlit. These people are for those who love books and don’t care who is supposed to be reading them.  

 Also, you may have to look far and wee, since we will be drawing upon not only recently published books but older ones that we have either read recently or that we read long ago and have re-read or have never forgotten.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when the writing is archaic.  If you’re a true nutsy reader like the rest of us, you won’t care.

 -Tammy Pierce

                                                        *     *     *

Assume the book came out within the last 2 years unless I put LO next to the title, which means you have to check libraries and bookstores online and paper for copies.

 *     *     *

 Diana Wynne Jones  LO

A generation or two of fantasy writers, particularly those who love humor, bow to this woman as our goddess.  Not only was she out of her mind in a very British and manic way, but with her TOUGH GUIDE TO FANTASYLAND she taught a number of us to ditch some ill-considered tropes of our genre.  If you write historic fantasy in particular, move heaven and earth to track this book down.  There’s a bonus: some of the entries will make you laugh till you cry.

           She is best known for her books for middle grade and teens, but they are enjoyable for all readers.  I cannot list them all here because my fingers will break (curse you, arthritis!), but these titles will give you a jumping-off point.  And remember, authors change with each book, so you won’t encounter the same author with each title as the author you read in the previous one!

           The Chrestomanci books, all in the same universe, in order of story,

                       not publication

Charmed Life  (1977) An innocent lad follows his plotting egotistical sister to live with England’s chief wizard

The Lives of Christopher Chant (1988)

Conrad’s Fate (2005)

Witch Week (1982)

The Magicians of Caprona (1980)

Short stories

 The Dalemark Quartet begins with

The Spellcoats (1979)

3 sequels

 The Derkholm books are

Dark Lord of  (1998)

Year of the Griffin (2000)

  The Tough Guide to Fantasyland is standalone, but is a kind of offshoot of the Derkholm books.  You don’t have to have read the Derkholm books to get Tough Guide!

 There are other books and stories by Jones—I’ll let you find them on your own.

  Philip Pullman

To this day I am unable to call him anything but Mr. Pullman—that’s how much in awe of the man I am.  We’ve had dinner together, talked on the phone, talked at an event or two, done a conversation on audio with Christopher Paolini—it’s still Mr. Pullman to me.  (I was an assistant in a literary agency when I discovered his work, and I never recovered.) He is, in a word, brilliant, and his interests range through all kinds of areas, particularly history and religion.  I could have talked with him forever that night we had dinner, but the poor man had jet lag and I let him go to collapse.  It was one of the best exchanges of ideals, values, and books I’ve ever had.  

Read his work carefully, because what he discusses is never just the story on top.  No matter what he writes, he is making strong points about social justice, human nature, religion, and history without preaching.  He is one of the few male writers out there who can write female characters as people, not Something Different.  And you never know, with his work, where he will go next.

 The Ruby in the Smoke,

book 1,  the Sally Lockheart mysteries

Victorian mysteries with a female hero and male assistants,

           The Book of Dust and sequel,

first 2 books of The Secret Commonwealth

           His Dark Materials trilogy

                       The Golden Compass

                       2 other titles                

           THE COLLECTORS

           LYRA’S OXFORD

           THE WHITE MERCEDES

           FAIRY TALES FROM THE BROTHERS GRIMM

           I WAS A RAT!

           TWO CRAFTY CRIMINALS

           COUNT KARLSTEIN

           (I will stop here and let you find the rest. Most are available as Nook books.)

  Sharon Shinn

I discovered Sharon Shinn with JOVAH’S ANGEL, but a shortage of funds left me unable to pursue my interest (I am an economic disaster with libraries, so I buy rather than borrow) until, with a job and money to spend, I spotted THE SAFE-KEEPER’S SECRET.  It is the story of a medieval-ish world and a small village where a baby was left with a childless couple.  She is raised as their daughter and discovers, as she grows, that her mother is an important, a Safekeeper, the person to whom a secret can be told, relieving the person who told it of the weight of guilt from it, to be carried by the Safekeeper until the owner either decides to tell or dies.  (And if they die without giving permission, the Safekeeper never reveal the secret.)  The baby who is adopted by this town’s safekeeper becomes the safekeeper in her turn.

           The next book is THE TRUTHTELLER’S TALE, about a girl who acquires the gift (??) of telling the truth, whether the person she tells it to wants to hear it or not. The third book is The Dream-maker’s Magic.  The three main characters now learn why they have been brought together over the course of the two earlier books, in what I thought was a satisfying, if unusual, conclusion.

           And there’s more!  I just did the two I love best!

             THE SAFEKEEPER’S SECRET (book 1, two sequels)

           ARCHANGEL (4 books)

           TWELVE HOUSES (5 books)

           ELEMENTAL BLESSINGS (4 books)        

SHIFTING CIRCLE (2 books)

           UNCOMMON ECHOES

           GENERAL WINSTON’S DAUGHTER

           GATEWAY

 Daniel Jose Older

 I was a Daniel Jose Older fan before I was sent DACTYL HILL SQUAD for a blurb (preodactyls in flight!  Of all sizes!  Confederate spies!  Thuggish bigot northerners!  The backlash of Gettysburg and the forced recruitment of blacks for the war effort! And strong, smart, fierce kids of various ages, sizes, colors, national heritage, and skills doing their best to help the war against the slaves, keep escaped slaves safe, duck the cruel managers of the homes and jails where they are being kept, find a half-decent meal, free other kids in trouble, learn who’s killing their friends, and help the dactyls!  That’s part of it, anyway!

Yeah, I loved it.  And there’s at least one new book, and once I’ve mowed though that, there are his older teen books, and his grownup mysteries, with their half-dead taxi driver who doubles as a part-time troubleshooter for the undead powers in his Bone Street Rhumba series.  {happy sigh}

  Edgar Allen Poe

Yes, some of these are reminders of why we ended up to be the readers we are and to nudge us to corrupt—I mean, “introduce”—­new readers to the glories that are our legacies.

­

THE COMPLETE TALES AND POEMS OF EDGAR ALLEN POE

           Here are the greats:

poems like “The Raven,” and “Annabelle Lee”

stories like “The Fall of the House of Usher,” “The Telltale Heart,” and  ::shudder:: “The Pit and the Pendulum” (yes, a deep pit and a swinging pendulum topped with a razor-edged blade will be featured in this story).  

My dad would read these to us on dark and stormy nights when we lived near the Pacific ocean, when the fog came rolling in, softening every sound, when there were no cars driving by and no other sounds in our house but his deep voice and the crackle of the fire in the fireplace.  We would listen, soundless, as he wove the stories and poems around us and the foghorn sounded offshore.

           That’s the power of Poe.

  N. K. Jemisin

I think I began with Jemisin’s THE HUNDRED THOUSAND KINGDOMS, soon followed by its sequel THE BROKEN KINGDOMS.  The series ended with a third book, THE KINGDOM OF THE GODS.  She presented a rich and varied world from the aspects of people of different classes, showing the growth of societies and their formation.  I have a secret passion for society-building and social interaction, and whether or not a book is difficult to read (as Jemisin’s books are in spots because she refuses to insult a reader by talking down to them) is immaterial.  I want the world and I want the characters, and with her far-reaching mind and her respect for her characters she delivers each and every time.  I have read almost everything she’s written since that first trilogy: if I’ve missed something, it’s because I was in the middle of a deadline and on the road and somehow didn’t see it.  I’ll catch up!  This is just a sample:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

 The City They Became (pub’d April 2020)

 The Inheritance Trilogy:

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

           2 book sequels

Novella: The Awakened Kingdom, 2014

                       Triptych: Shades in Shadow, 2015 (3 short stories) 

             The Dreamblood Duology:

           For readers of all sexes and adult reading skills

           The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, 2010

                       Two sequels

 The Broken Earth series:

         The Fifth Season (August 2015)

                       Two book sequels

And there are plenty of short stories out there.  I may even have missed a book or twelve!

For those who prefer to hear my ramble in person, a video!

[syubub]

ENERGY CHECKUP: YOONGI (again)

Now, I know I've already done an energy check up on yoon but I wanted to see how he was doing now that he's gotten his shoulder surgery!

Disclaimer time: tarot is not to be takes as fact and is my interpretation if the cards :) entertainment purposes only~

SHIT IS STRANGE (it is Yoongi though so I'm not too shocked)

So. For starters, his energy is pretty calm and chill. He's also a bit more quiet?

I wrote a note that tomorrow is exciting... idk I wrote it down and I'm not sure if its exciting for him or for us? Maybe its just a general like, "tomorrow is a good day" type thing.

Now. 11... I wrote this down and I'm not sure why though I believe that he might be seeing 11:11 on the clock or possibly that something exciting is happening for him at 11:11 (I just checked and thats in like an hour and a half from when I'm writing this down(( update i just finished writing the whole post and it is about 11 minutes away)) idk. I make no promises but I wrote it down so there you go.

I also kept seeing plants and I'm not sure if people got him flowers or plants as a "get well" type thing or maybe he's stressing bc someone has to water his plants lol

Okay. Okay. Hear me out. Black bean noodles. It popped into my head and I was told to write it down but I'm also really hungry so take that with a grain of fucking salt. (I even pictured a nice elaborate bowl that was red as well as the take out container. Yum. Send me noodles)

MOVING ON

Here's the actual reading lol. He is bored.

Thats all. Thank you for coming.

Jk

I joke. The cards give me a kind of frazzled feeling? Its the struggle of knowing hes done something good but it comes at a cost. Yoongi works. A lot. All the goddamn time. So what now? He's having this shake up thats forcing him to deal with stuff. Him having this surgery also may have brought back some less than favorable memories/ feelings that hes being forced to deal with now. Over all though he feels like its good. The 6 of wands makes me think that he's thinking of our response when he comes back. Its like he's gonna be so much more confident in himself and his dancing and he can finally move on from the car accident? It happed so long ago but he literally carried this burden with him. Its good. The wheel of fortune and is about a change and the 8 of swords is about self imposed restriction, imprisonment and over all bad/ negative feelings. I pulled the wheel of fortune first and asked what was changing and that was the 8 of swords. This surgery is helping to free him from this restricting, painful thing that may have been reminding him of the past! YES HEALING

Now. For this section I just kinda asked "whats up?" And got, easy does it, divine life purpose l, balancing masculine and feminine energies and uplift your thoughts. He may be resting but he's got his mind working on 3,000 my dude. Its the regular "yoongi is woke af" bullshit but damn. The cards say what they say. He's preparing. I'll come back to this.

Now the 7 of cups and the 3 of swords. I asked how he felt about missing out on promoting. He's heart broken with the 3 of swords. It genuinely pains him. And with the 7 of cups he might feel like there's a lot of ways this can play out and he's considered a lot of options.

I was curious how he felt about me coming into his energy so I asked him what he thought of me. Lol. These each came out separately. We got, 2 of cups, four of wands, the empress, justice, the magician, the sun and the lovers. Ha

So. To add to the mood setting my guide said "he's a drama queen" lol yeah he is.

So so so so so. I was confused? Still am a little confused but I'm like 80.9% sure that he isn't bothered by me poking around in his energy n shit. In fact my theory is that he's using this connection to his advantage? Lol sounds dumb but my best guess is that home boy sees my energy/ what I'm doing as a way to figure out his own shit? Idk maybe he thinks I'm his energetic therapist. Maybe even a matchmaker (I mean... I have been putting a lot of energy and work into finding/ connecting with his soulmate so maybe he's letting me do all the dirty work) I really don't understand but I got no further explanation.

Oki oki oki. Now. I was drawn to 2 books. The kybalion and the prophet. I asked yoon if there was any messages that we wanted to point out through the books and I got a number for each book so I took it as page numbers. 28 for the prophet and 54 for the kybalion

Take what you will from these if it calls to you. I haven't read these since I was around 13? The sentiments for each felt important to me so I'm curious what you all might think/ feel when reading these? ( I also get the feeling that Yoongi has read the prophet idk why)

Okay. At this point I was like cool, let's wrap this up but I need to talk about his pjs? Green/grey? Plaid pj bottoms don't ask me don't ask me don't ask me I don't know but It wouldn't go away so I had write it down? Help.

I had written yoongis brother down too. Theres something about him? I'm not sure what but thats all I got lol

I was very strongly told that I needed to remember 7, that its important. Got it. Worth it down.

Oki. As I was going back to the platform blah blah blah the string turned blue too. The cord is usually white or silver but it was blue so that was a fun thing and then I was like "nice. Cool. Thanks. This was awesome, get healthy blah blah" and go to leave/ end the connection but the cord wouldn't go away.

???

What.

Then the string (idk if I said but that string shit is like on the third eye? Its connected to my forehead and his too.) Kind tightens.

I'm like, "oh shit."

Listen. Usually everything is smooth and nice and I just leave.

All is well though bc my guide is like, "stop being a little bitch" so I just let it happen.

Yoon shoves me back off the edge of the platform. Why he gotta be like that?

Now. This is strange. I had dropped down into a library.

Y'ALL

I almost shit my fucking pants. Dear god.

THE AKASHIC RECORDS MY DUDE

He started walking me around until he found a blue book. His mother fucking book.

Home boy brought me to his fucking Akashic fucking blue fucking book.

I was big mad. "YOU LITTLE FUCKER! YOUVE KNOWN ABIUT THIS SHIT?" And he was like, "duh"

I've never felt more disrespect lol

Also the way the library was presented was way way way different from how it looks to me. So thats an interesting note. Looking at his book, on the base of the spine is a number 7...

Oki. Cool. I asked if I could look and he said, "Sure, when you can find your way back."

This mother fucker threw me out of a meditative state. Have you ever woken up just before you hit the ground in one of those falling dreams? THAT WAS THE FEELING.

?? I'm not sure what the fuck just happened or if it holds actual significance.

Anyway. After cursing the fuck out of yoobi I started thinking what else 7 ment.

I was specifically told to remember 7 and it was on his book. Then It popped into my head (I want to say its because I'm smart and thought of it all by myself but I think that was my guide wanting me to keep my last brain cell safe). What is yoongis life path number?

Now I don't know shot about life path numbers but imma read up on them tonight. I used a life path calculator on Google. HIS LIFE PATH NUMBER IS 7 Y'ALL.

Maybe I'm dumb as fuck but yoobi never disappoints.

Conclusion: Yoon is fine. Hes just being a yoongi and a yoongi does.

⬆️Me after this reading⬆️

⬆️ Yoongi rn playing 12D chess⬆️

[mysticmachmir]

Tarot Through a Jewish Lens (Part I)

Is Tarot Jewish?

No. Tarot was not a Jewish creation and nor does it come from Kabbalah. When Waite made his famous RWS deck, he was a Christian occultist/magician and part of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and also formed his own Fellowship of the Rosy Cross. He was a Catholic involved in 'western esotericism' and fell under the learnings of Eliphas Levi. Eliphas Levi was not a Jewish man. He was a French gentile occultist who changed his name from Alphonse Louis Constant to Éliphas Lévi Zahed -- why? He wanted his magical works to sound more authentically exotic (aka, Jewish) because he appropriated from Jewish mysticism and skewed it for his own wants. He believed that Kabbalah was the "linking factor between the Old Testament and the New Testament", and that is rooted in Christian supersessionism, a violent ideology that has resulted in many murders of the Jewish people. Another example is the french occultist, Court de Gébelin, who claimed that the Major Arcana were numbered to correspond to the 22 letters in both the Egyptian and Hebrew alphabets. It didn’t seem to trouble him that at the time different versions of the deck that was in circulation sometimes had more than and sometimes less than 22 Major Arcana cards. Or that ancient Egyptians didn’t use an alphabet. 

So no. Tarot was created as a playing card game, sprung up in Italy, Germany, and France. It was not intended for 'occult' use until much later. And still, in no way shape or form, was it ever Jewish in origin. In the Torah, besides certain kinds of divination/tools, divination is forbidden and Tarot is considered avodah zarah (idolatry) because it is a non-Jewish practice.

Now I'm sure you're asking: Well you read tarot, why are you telling me this? Aren't you incriminating yourself? I'm telling you because I want to stress and push back against cultural appropriation and Christian supersessionism that is rooted in these beliefs, and I want to make it clear that the relationship between a Jew, halacha, and G!d is on them - but to not fool oneself claiming a non-Jewish practice is actually Jewish. That, I think, is more ludicrous than just using tarot.

Alright, now onto the fun parts and what you are here for.

My Jewish Theology with Tarot

So, this is all my personal theology which obviously you do not have to share. I am Jewish and practice religious Judaism. I believe that there is only one G!d, Hashem, and that They are everywhere and in everything. In academic terms, I am a monotheistic panentheist. This aligns with a lot of Jewish mysticism, especially Chassidus, and consider myself a crossover between the Conservative Jewish denomination and Renewal, with a solid base in the American Neo-Hasidic movement . (Conservative =/= political right-wing in the Jewish movements). I deeply respect Jewish traditions, halacha, and have put a lot of thought in what I believe and how it relates to tarot. There will be of course Jews who disagree with me, but I'm not here to dwell on that. When I read tarot, I am not asking the cards to tell me the answer I am seeking - the cards are a tool, an object, and do not possess spirits of their own. I am asking G!d. Now, angels won't interfere, but sheydim (demons) can. I will talk about protections/rituals one can use to avoid sheydim meddling later. As for questions like: How does one ethically divine? How much power do interpreters have? Does G!d plan everything? Do we have free will when it comes to our future? Let’s look to source texts. “All is foreseen, but free will is given.”  —Rabbi Akiva, Pirke Avot 3:15 "Rabbi Bena’a: There were twenty-four interpreters of dreams in Jerusalem. One time, I dreamed a dream and went to each of them to interpret it. What one interpreted for me the other did not interpret for me, and, nevertheless, all of the interpretations were realized in me, to fulfill that which is stated: All dreams follow the mouth of the interpreter." —Berakhot 55b "The Gemara asks: But doesn’t Rav say that any divination that is not like the divination of Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, when he went to seek a bride for Isaac (see Genesis 24:14), or like the divination of Jonathan, son of Saul, who sought an omen as to whether he and his arms bearer would defeat the Philistines (see I Samuel 14:8–12), is not divination? Since Rav did not rely on the omen in his decision making, he did not violate the prohibition against divination, and there was no reason for him to penalize himself." —Chullin 95b "What is a diviner? One who takes his stick in hand and says, (as though he were consulting it), “Shall I go, or shall I not go?” So does it state, (Hoshea 4:12) “My people ask counsel of their stick, and their staff declareth unto them” (Sifrei Devarim 171:6). (3) מעונן — Rabbi Akiba said, Such are people who assign times (עונות plural of עונה “period”, “time”) — who say, “This time is auspicious to begin some work”; the Sages, however, say, It refers to those “who hold your eyes under control” (who delude by optical deception; they connect מעונן with עין “eye”) (Sifrei Devarim 171:9)." —Rashi on Devarim 18:10-12 "... here he does not rely on the אות which he had stipulated, but where he asked G’d in prayer for help, saying that if certain things were to happen he would regard this as a sign that his prayer had been answered favorably (compare Ibn Ezra there). When the Talmud Chulin 95 כל נחש שאינו כאליעזר עבד אברהם ויהונתן בן שאול אינו נחש, the meaning is that “any divination which is not like that of Eliezer or that of Yonatan ben Sha-ul is not a divination,” i.e. is not permissible, but is akin to relying on witchcraft [Unless the person requesting a sign does so as a prayer directed to G’d it is forbidden. Ed.]" —Sforno on Beresheit 24:14 “The true power of the tarot lies in its ability to channel a clear path for our deep intuition to shine through. Consulting the tarot can help clear creativity blockages, clarify ambitions, work through complex decisions, and make sense of emotions and relationships.” —Holistic Tarot, Benebell Wen

In my interpretation of these quotes, I gather a few things:

1. In Jewish thought, dreams are 1/60th prophecy. However, dreams follow the mouth, i.e. interpretations. Multiple interpretations can be true. Being a confident and learned interpreter is important. While I did not quote it, the sages also advise the one should pay your interpreters fairly. 

2. Hashem has given humans free will, so we can make our own choices. That is unique to us as beings, unlike angels. G!d already knows the possible outcomes.

3. It is not divination to notice and realize patterns or answers as long as you do not use it as an omen to change immediate course - examples the sages mention in specific are "a piece of bread falls from your mouth, so you decide not to walk to the lake", i.e, seeking 'signs' and omens randomly to direct your life.

4. Rashi's explanation of what a diviner and sorcerer are, compiled from different Jewish texts. Now, I am not here to say "and this is proof Judaism and halacha are actually fine with divination!" Nope, in Bamidbar 23:23, it is very clear that Jews are told to get what they need from prophets or G!d themself, and do not need augury. What I am arguing here is that by these specifications, and connecting to my final point of what tarot actually is, tarot may not fall under that category depending on how you use it.

5. I wanted to highlight Sforno's commentary here because the way I read tarot is via prayer. Tarot is a tool, and when I begin a reading, I am not asking the cards, I am asking Hashem to use these cards as a sign and communication.

6. Finally, I quoted Benebell Wen because of her poignant understanding of how tarot is less about "fortune-telling" and more about a creative psycho-spiritual exercise for intuition and is more like a mirror to our subconscious telling us what is true. Fusing this with the ideas above, this is my short rundown of how I see and view Tarot: Tarot is a prayerful, spiritual tool as a way I can interpret and communicate from G!d, and I understand the cards themselves are not going to tell the future. Tarot is a mirror for the subconscious and a way for us to work through things we do not feel we can do on our own, be'ezrat Hashem (with the help of G!d).

Jewish Tarot Spreads

As I don't want to just post photos, I am instead going to include links to the tarot spreads I have found, to their origins so you can know the creator!The Archangel Spread The Divine Threads Spread Wisdom of the Hebrew Priestess Spread Vessel, Offering, Ally Spread Do Not Play It Small Spread Rooting and Releasing Spread

Jewish Tarot and Oracle Decks

Eht/Aht Netivot Oracle Deck

Tu B’shevat Oracle Deck

Moon Angels Oracle Deck

Malakhim Meditative Cards

Raziel Tarot Deck (Out of Print)

Jewish Tarot (Never Printed, Can See All Cards Virtually)

72 Names Deck

Tokens of Light Deck

King Solomon Deck

Revealed by the Letters Deck

Cleansing and Protection

So, of course, this is so dependent on what you think is most important for you, as it is your practice. However, I will share what I do.

When it comes to doing readings, I have a very specific ritual. First, I light incense or a candle depending on what I feel like doing at the time. This is something I am still working on and trying what fits best for me and my cards. I will use incense smoke to cleanse cards or the "knocking" card trick. Then, I say two prayers - I recite the blessing:

"Blessed are you G!d, Ruler of the Universe, who opens the eyes of the blind. The reason is because of the allegory that intuition and divination are connecting to a special type of sight. Then, in the case of the concern with sheydim messing with the reading, I have decided to use the protective angel prayer: 

"In the name of the Lord, G!d of Israel: 

May the angel Michael be at my right side, 

and at my left side, Gabriel,

before me Uriel, behind me Raphael,

and above my head, Shekhinat El, G!d's presence." This is traditionally recited at night, but I felt it was just as appropriate to call on these angels for protection. Plus, Uriel is associated with illumination and is a useful presence to have during these readings. In Jewish gemology, lapis lazuli is good for bringing understanding and grounding intuition, so I use that gemstone as well while I read. Eventually, I'd like to also get an onyx as it is associated with enlightenment and wisdom in Jewish gemology. I also use a tarot cloth with a hamsa and have a protective amulet pendant.

Finally, when I shuffle my cards, I sing a very specific phrase - the "ein od milvado" from Kohelet 1:2, in a tune that puts me into a meditative headspace - and I shuffle with my eyes closed, only stopping when I feel it is right to do so. I also use a kabbalistic meditation technique to allow the divine flow (shefa) from G!d's light flow through the crown of my head. 

If you liked this work and information, consider tipping me at: https://ko-fi.com/ezrasaville!

Sources (I will post this in every post of this series): Sefaria Chabad Tarot and the Gates of Light by Mark Horn Torah, Tarot, and Tantra by William Blank The Jewish Dream Book by Vanessa Ochs Magic of the Ordinary by R. Gershon Winkler Tarot Wisdom by Rachel Pollack The Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet by R. Michael Munk The Encyclopedia of Jewish Magic, Myth, and Mysticism by R. Geoffrey Dennis https://www.telshemesh.org/ https://hsastrology.weebly.com/hebrew-zodiac-signs.html https://ohr.edu/this_week/ask_the_rabbi/2394 https://www.gatesoflighttarot.com/ http://www.devotaj.com/ http://www.peelapom.com/

[somanysigns-13]

Part 3: Snuggle in and buckle up for a long read. 😬

Reputation 2017 - her final required album with BMR (2014-2017 3 years after 1989)

…Ready For It? (also see cowboy like me on evermore)

* Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted...Knew the beard (maybe Joe?) was gay; wondered how many girls he had to pretend with?

* But if he’s a ghost then I can be a phantom holdin him for ransom...She can use him to cover her relationship with Karlie (also see New Romantics)

* Some boys are tryin too hard he don’t try at all though younger than my exes but he act like such a man so I see nothing better keep him forever like a vendetta...Some of her beards actually tried to make the relationship legit but he doesn’t try at all, maybe because he is also gay, so she can see staying with him until it’s over

* In the middle of the night, in my dreams you should see the things we do. In the middle of the night in my dreams I know I’m gonna be with you, so I’ll take my time...She knows in the end she will be with Karlie so she’s just going to ride this out

* Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me stealing hearts and runnin off and never saying sorry but if I’m a thief then he can join the heist and we’ll move to an island.... Possible reference to Karlie’s bearding with Josh and him knowing they are together and being part of the whole plan?

* He can be my jailer Burton to this Taylor...Nod to Elizabeth Taylor and her relationship with Richard Burton * Karlie’s middle name is Elizabeth * Burton to this Taylor - Josh will marry Karlie to quiet the rumors of her and Karlie’s relationship therefore he is Taylor’s “jailer” keeping the “cage” in place. Back to that recurring theme..cages..(see so it goes, this is me trying, and cowboy like me)

* Baby let the games begin...Here we go...start of the end game by playing more games

End Game

* I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team... She wants to be able to be public with Karlie and not the “secret”

Could the End Game be them getting through the final years of the BMR contract and possible other contracts (Karlie with Scooter and Josh). Did Taylor possibly sign a 3 album obligation to UMG which is why she busted out 3 albums in 1 year (Lover/folklore/evermore) to make “End Game” “New Year’s Day” 2021? There seems to be a countdown between the years of album releases...1989-reputation (3) rep-lover (2) and lover-folklore/evermore (1)

* Big reputation, big reputation ooh you and me would be a big conversation... If they came out now everyone would really be talking about it even though there are currently rumors

What kind of big conversation would really come of her and Joe Alwyn? Why would being in a heterosexual relationship need to be kept such a secret? What’s so taboo about it? And why would it need to be a secret when the public narrative is that you are in a relationship with him already?

* I hit you like bang we tried to forget it but we just couldn’t...Karlie and Taylor’s chemistry is too much to disregard or act like it was just a temporary thing, they are each other’s lobsters and they couldn’t quit each other.

* And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them... She’s going to go along with the plan but she won’t forget who made her have to do it

* And I can’t let you go your handprints on my soul It’s like your eyes are liquor like your body is gold...again Karlie’s astrological sign is Leo and the Leo color is Gold…she’s love drunk on her eyes and she’s left a mark on her forever (see This Love and Dress)

* You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips...Taylor tries to push Karlie away or talk herself out of her feelings but Karlie calls her on her bullshit

I Did Something Bad

* I never trust a playboy but they love me so I fly ‘em all around the world and I let them think they saved me...Playboy as in boy she uses as her beard (play things for her to use- Don’t Blame Me) they think they can be the one to change/save Taylor (make her straight?) or possibly that by them going along with the plan she owes them something more since they “save” her reputation/career, she pays for all their expenses as her beard

* They never see it comin’ what I do next ...New Romantics; poker ref...she fills them in on the situation?

* This is how the world works you gotta leave before you get left...Foreshadowing her leaving BMR so she doesn’t lose Karlie?

* If he drops my name then I owe him nothin’ and if he spends my change then he had it comin... Did a beard say something he wasn’t supposed to in an interview that went against the NDA contract... Was he taking advantage of Taylor and her money?

* They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one they got their pitchforks and proof their receipts and reasons... “Witches” historically were thought to be lesbians (see Salem witch trials - see Willow) Even if you aren’t one - Some of the rumors of her being with her friends other than Karlie (Martha Hunt)...The proof is obviously in the rumors of her and Karlie and possibly Kissgate..and lots of witch references in evermore

* So light me up go ahead and light me up...Acknowledging she’s gay?

Don’t Blame Me

* Don’t blame me, love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right lord save me my drug is my baby I’ll be using for the rest of my life... Don’t blame her for all the crazy things she’s had to do to keep her relationship with Karlie Lord save me - “pray the gay away” type ref

* I’ve been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys just playthings for me to use (see “I Did Something Bad”)...Boys = beards

* For you, I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind they say she’s gone to far this time... She would give it all up to be with Karlie (see lyrics of evermore)

* My name is whatever you decide and I’m just gonna call you mine I’m insane, but I’m your baby...Reference to Karlie writing her name in the sand wrong or maybe using “James” or another pseudonym like maybe Kayda?

* Echoes of your name inside my mind halo, hiding my obsession I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy...

Alleration of Karlie’s name? (Echoes of your name) Halo = Victoria’s Secret Angel.. Poison ivy (see Ivy) Daisy - all the pictures of them with daisies during the Big Sur trip and other

* And baby for you I would fall from grace just to touch your face if you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay... She would give it all up and come out if she could ....If Karlie wanted to leave (Victoria secret fashion show “walk away” ref) she would do whatever she had to do to make her stay

Delicate - there’s more lyrics here but you’ll get the point with just a few

* Is it cool that Taylor told Karlie how she felt? She knows their relationship/situation they’re in is delicate

* Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs stay here honey I don’t want to share...She hates that Karlie has to leave and pretend to be with Josh, she gets jealous

* I pretend you’re mine all the damn time...She hates the bearding

So It Goes - all Victoria Secret fashion show refs

* See you in the dark all eyes on you my magician all eyes on us you make everyone disappear ...From Taylor’s perspective - Victoria secret fashion show interactions - usually all eyes are on Taylor but not now, it’s all eyes on her and Karlie and Taylor see’s only her and her “shiny abs” when they’re out there together on the stage

* Cut me into pieces gold cage hostage to my feelings back against the wall trippin when you’re gone...it kills Taylor to have to hold her love for Karlie inside and not share it with the world as much as she hates when Karlie has to leave after their time spent together

* Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone it’s so simple cause baby I know what you know we can feel it... When they have to be apart it’s hard but when they’re together it’s all worth it...They both know what they have and what they have to do to keep it

* And all the pieces fall right into place getting caught up in the moment lipstick on your face so it goes...Everything so far is going to plan but sometimes they forget and have to deal with a revelation (lipstick on Karlie’s face as they walk out of the apartment and get papped)

* I’m yours to keep and I’m yours to lose you know I’m not a bad girl but I do bad things with you so it goes...Seems like Taylor is saying the ball’s in Karlie’s court so to speak? The bad things = lesbian things 😂

* Met you in a bar all eyes on me your illusionist all eyes on us I make all your grey days clear and wear you like a necklace I’m so chill but you make me jealous but I got your heart skipping when I’m gone... From Karlie’s perspective - usually everyone is looking at Taylor but not at the VS Fashion show. She’s the sunshine in Taylor’s life but she does get jealous sometimes...But she knows she has Taylor’s heart and that Taylor misses her when she’s gone

* Come here dressed in black now scratches down your back now so it goes...Victoria’s Secret fashion show when they’re in black dresses holding hands walking down the runway and likely what happened after the show 😉

* You did a number on me but honestly baby who’s counting I did a number on you but honestly baby who’s counting 1, 2, 3...They really can’t help themselves with each other and their feelings * 3 years has gone by (2014-2017) (see invisible string - bold was the waitress on our 3 year trip. * 3 album contract with UMG?

Gorgeous - the rest of the lyrics speak for themselves I think, so here’s a couple.

* You make me so happy it turns back to sad ...When they’re together vs when they’re apart (Karlie w/Josh)

* There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have Due to the management teams keeping them apart?

Getaway Car

King of My Heart - Karlie is a Leo (Lion - king of the jungle)

* Salute to me, I’m your American Queen - Karlie referred to Taylor as the Princess because she has blue eyes, red lips, is beautiful and wears a crown in the Best Best Friend Vogue video

* Cause all the boys and their expensive cars, with their range rovers and their Jaguars never took me quite where you do...She feels nothing with any of her expensive beards like she does with Karlie

* Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep... They have to sneak around to avoid being seen together in intimate situations

* Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury... She’s making all the effort to make the relationship work. I’m sure some guys have tasty lips but typically the ladies win that one

* Is the end of all the endings? End Game

* My broken bones are mending She uses breaking bones metaphors often (sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me refs?)

* Up on the roof with a school girl crush

* She’s got a girl crush

* Drinking beer out of plastic cups

* Karlie and Taylor at the Knicks game

* Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

* Taylor wants to know that Karlie wants her for her, not what she has

Dancing With Our Hands Tied - a lot to unpack here so I’ll try to do it briefly

* I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason...Depending on when they first met, Taylor saw Karlie either irl or modeling or through mutual friends and had a crush instantly

* Deep blue, but you painted me golden

* Karlie is Leo...astrologically represented by 1 color...Gold

* I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us...If they came out what would it do to their relationship and their careers?

* So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?... Is it possible to do it? Maybe not now, but can they weather the storm until they can make it public?

* I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down Possible Kissgate ref?

* I'd hold you as the water rushes in...They’re both fire signs...a water sign beard (Joe is a Pisces) could be the extinguisher to squash the rumors of Kaylor

* If I could dance with you again...She’ll do what she needs to do to keep this relationship

Dress - another big one

* Our secret moments in your crowded room They've got no idea about me and you...Victoria Secret fashion show moments

* There is an indentation in the shape of you Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo Again with gold and the tattoo...permanent mark (see End Game)

* Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend...Not really sure if it could be any more obvious..Karlie and Taylor were each other’s “Best Friend” and Taylor is letting it be known that she wants her more than that

* Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha) Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend...She wants to “do bad things” with Karlie (see “so it goes”)

Call It What You Want

* Possible start of the bearding ref?

* Sounds an awful like “So Karlie would you want to?”

* Windows boarded up after the storm ...They have to be apart, possible arguments over what the plan should be? Also see Death by a thousand cuts on Lover

New Year’s Day=End Game?

* Last song with BMR..Taylor’s contract is over

* Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor...Candles are a recurring prop in her music videos, assumed to represent the passing of time of their respective contract periods * Polaroids - Karlie was asked in an interview what she collects, she said Polaroids...They took lots of Polaroid pictures on their trip to Big Sur * Taylor used the image of a Polaroid as her album cover in 1989

*You and me forevermore...direct link to the evermore album and song...she said in the MAATHP documentary that her life is planned out at least 2 years in advance...looks like maybe some of the folklore/evermore songs were already in the works or at the very least she went back and drew inspiration from other albums.

* You squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi

* could 3 years be the length of Karlie’s contract with Josh? (See So It Goes)

* 3 album contract with UMG?

* I can tell it’s gonna be a long road They’re going to have to suffer through at least 3 years of not being seen together in order to avoid speculation

* I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home Whatever Karlie’s reason is for going along with the Josh stunts, Taylor will be there to support her no matter what...Strike out is a baseball metaphor and Karlie is a big St Louis Cardinals fan (baseball ref also used in peace on folklore...”swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches”)

Crawling home…opposite of what Karlie used to do as a Victoria Secret model and “walking” the runway

* Don’t read the last page But I stay When it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes... Try not to look too far ahead, things can go wrong and it can make the time longer or seem longer

* I want your midnights But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day Taylor wants to be with her now, but she knows in the end she’ll be with her forever after the charade and games are over.

* Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you Just keep remembering the good times..they’ll get “us” through until the games are over

[deadlyanddelicate]

I have a fun question, when do you think Adam figured out Ronan liked him, and HOW do you think he figured it out? I was always thinking, Adam is very observant, and Ronan was always looking at him, but at what point does looking betray attraction? But do you have any head canons or thoughts beyond this? Was it the hand cream? Or do You know of any fun theories? id love to hear them!

hey there! 

of course this is all speculation, and i will explain my reasoning below, but i think adam first starts figuring it out towards the end of the dream thieves, and that’s partly because ronan’s behaviour changed, and partly because adam finally had the mental space to notice.

premise 1: i think adam is aware that ronan is gay before then, at least prior to the start of trb -- there is just no way in hell that the “i’m always straight”/”oh man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told” was not meant as a double entendre. i mean, obviously adam is also calling ronan out on his claim that he’s always straight = honest, because we know that unlike gansey, he doesn’t buy into ronan’s “i never lie” shtick. but it’s definitely also a gay joke, like. come on. besides, there are hints that even gansey knows about it, or at least has guessed (noah clearly knows but it doesn’t count bc he can literally read minds), so you know if he’s clued into it, then adam definitely has (no shade to gansey but he’s not... the most observant person.)

premise 2: it is my view that adam has known that he’s bisexual even before then, definitely before he knew gansey and ronan. i don’t have hard and fast evidence of this beyond the fact that his povs have no discussion of a sexuality crisis whatsoever, and we know adam overanalyses everything, so... yeah.

premise 3: adam clearly already thinks ronan is attractive - “savagely handsome”??? going on a ronan-related rant in his FIRST pov in the FIRST book??? boy please - so he’s bound to be extra observant of him. but at the same time, ronan for most of the first two books is... exhausting, especially to someone like adam. he’s destructive, violent, rude, and on occasion downright cruel. adam has enough of that in his life. i don’t think he can afford to invest extra attention in ronan lynch -- as he himself would say: there is such thing as an emotional cost.

so, when does he notice?

personally, i think he starts noticing towards the end of the dream thieves. as for how he notices, as i’ve said above, i think it starts with ronan’s behaviour changing. ronan says in the epilogue of tdt that “Adam was different since making the bargain with Cabeswater. Stronger, stranger, farther away. It was hard not to stare at the odd and elegant lines of his face.” i take this to mean that while ronan has had a crush on adam for... ever, basically, literally as soon as he saw him and before even meeting him, his feelings have been steadily getting deeper; ever since the cabeswater sacrifice - so, ever since the end of trb - he’s been openly staring at adam more and more. 

now, obviously, adam didn’t immediately notice this, but that’s because both ronan and adam are, to put it mildly, GOIN THRU IT in the dream thieves. ronan is at his most self-destructive, and he has a book’s worth of character development which ends with him finally overcoming his self-hatred. that also means he spends much of the book on his own, or apart from the other main characters. 

adam is also under increasing amounts of stress (which is saying something) and undergoes a complete mental breakdown, and then also comes into his own as the magician. so, he’s a little too preoccupied to think about ronan’s increased attention. but when he finally gains clarity towards the book’s climax - literally as soon as he is able to think things through without being crushed by ptsd - he immediately realizes that ronan has paid his rent... which is a first clue of his changed behaviour, because as ronan himself notes bitterly, people don’t usually expect him to do nice things for others. 

now, i don’t think adam quite knows ronan LIKES likes him yet at that point, but right after adam says “I know it was you. I figured it out. The rent.”, they share a long, very charged look: “he held Ronan’s gaze for just a moment longer, until something inside Ronan unwound and he almost said something.” that’s a look that says, “I’ve got your number. I know now that you care about people - that you care about me.” adam always pays attention, but now he’s started paying attention.

and in fact, to return to the epilogue of tdt where we find out that ronan is in love with adam, that is also the first time adam really catches him staring - and looks back: “He glanced at Ronan, eyebrows furrowed, as if sensing Ronan’s eyes on him. Ronan looked away.” that’s going to become one of the recurring themes of bllb -- ronan looking at adam, and adam catching him at it, and then adam returning the look. once he notices ronan’s increased attention, he can’t stop noticing.

it helps, too, that they spend a lot more time together in bllb (and subsequently trk) than they did in tdt, since more and more often gansey and blue are split off on their own, and ronan and adam are having their magic non-date dates. but mostly, as i said, ronan’s behaviour has changed -- he’s no longer a ticking time bomb, he’s no longer cruel to people because he hates himself, he’s no longer too draining for adam to like him as more than a friend; and adam’s circumstances have changed too -- he’s in control of his powers as the magician, he’s no longer living in an abusive household, and he’s starting to let other people in more often, which finally gives him the chance to consider new, different possibilities that might have seemed too difficult before.

TL;DR: i think adam’s been aware that ronan’s gay/interested in boys since at least the start of the series, and i think he becomes aware that ronan is specifically attracted to him at the end of the dream thieves.

[practicalmagicintuitions]

SH general + general love reading

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer in the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it

I have to tell you I know nothing, absolutely nothing about SH. I haven’t seen him in anything. So it was a challenge for me, but I loved it. Therefore I cannot really answer questions about him which is not about this reading, but anyhow if you have questions or want to tell me something, go on! 

I used The Llewellyn Tarot by Anna-Marie Ferguson so we will have a few different cards potentially, I will describe those. 

General Past-Present-Future This part of the reading is everything, carrier, love, everything. 

Four of Pentacles, King of Cups rx

4 of P is about financial stability. investments it is also about hoarding being guarded, closed.

 I think in the past he was maybe unnecessarily worried about money and his number one goal was to establish himself financially. This caused that KofCrx situation where he didn’t really have the time or urge to have a meaningful deep relationship. Or even if he had he wasn’t acting really nurturing in it. He was turbulent, overwhelmed and guarded. Maybe he has a fear that women want only his resources, money, fame, or he thought he can only focus on one thing at the same time and he chose finances not emotions to focus on.

4ofP also means saving for a bigger thing. House, travel etc. With the rx Cups, it could mean work alcoholism in the past. As a father, partner etc this king could be moody or overly protective. But this King could be very kinky too. If this would be a future family reading I would say this could mean fertility problems.

4ofP sometimes comes up if someone's upbringing was lacking money, so hoarding, saving is important. This card also means someone has a belief in themselves. He has a clear vision of who he is, where his boundaries lie etc. This also could mean someone is a little bit of a control freak, likes orders or if their things are in order etc. This card also means (because of the closeness and guarded part) that someone is very private. He doesn’t like to share any part of his life

Present

The Magician.

His present is filled with creativity and goals he wants to manifest. He is a very independent thinker. confidence, self-rule, freedom is important to him. He is charming and has leadership qualities. I think he has a clear vision of what he wants and is working on it to make it a reality. Maybe he is spiritual, connected to his higher self or believes in God etc. The Magician has all of the symbols of the 4 suits, so I think he finally feels he has everything he wanted to take the next step, to create his dream future. Especially if he was hoarding in the past, so this is definitely a step up. 

Future

Seven of Swords, The Fool

I think with the 7ofSw he will release everything that holds him back. In this deck this card is more like acceptance, leaving something behind kind of acceptance. Accepting that we made some mistake that’s why we didn't have success in certain areas in the past ( I am getting that is more like about his private, love life) And with the Fool is a very new beginning

In this deck, this Fool is not some daydreamer who is wandering around and bumping into the Magician by accident. No, this Fool is quick, fast, knows what he wants, knows his goals.

It’s a pagan deck, and the Major Arcana is based on myths and legends of medieval Wales. This fool is Peredur (or Parsifal) who was one of the knights of the Round Table. Here he is only a “fool”. His mother was who advised him to seek Arthur and claim his knighthood. So he has a goal right at the start. His mom gave Peredur many pieces of advice one of them was he should seek the love of a fair, esteemed woman. So this maybe could be real-life advice he received from his mom or his family. 

Which led us to the relationship part of the reading. 

It was interesting to see that the relationship part was in tune with the general one. 

Past- Page of wands rx

In the past, he was unreliable, lazy. He was not ready for a real relationship but he always made excuses for it. He probably felt it is too much effort and he wanted to focus on his career. He was tense, he wanted to move all the time. Maybe physically maybe from relationship to relationship. He was a charmer who maybe spent the night with you but he wasn’t particularly enthusiastic in the morning. He was the “I have to run, I am late” guy. 

Present - The Star

This card is again, being calmer, after the storm (this card comes after the destruction of the Tower). Being one step closer to our goal. This is the realisation that purely earthy goods are not enough and we need a deep soul connection too. With a partner, with friends, family. It could mean he is involved with some type of charity work or social causes, maybe he could meet someone through it but I get more like a general vibe, maybe this type of work will help him to be more open, not that guarded. It is also peace, freedom, guiding star. For me, with the Magician above means that he is very aware of his presence and what he want to achieve in the future and he is hopeful about it. And again, the Fool in this deck is a very determined one. But the Star card itself is a long journey type of card, you need to be patient. But I think he knows this. And this is not just romantic love it is more universal love, that’s why this can be about charity. 

Future - Seven of wands rx

This card is warning you being too patient or doing nothing can be dangerous. So while he is on his patient and calm route with the Star this shows it has a flip side too. But I don’t think this is the strongest message here. What I am getting more and this is an overlooked meaning of this card, is that he will find new ways and approaches in a future relationship other than battling or confrontation or just sneak out from inconvenient situations. Especially, if we look back on his past with the PofWrx and with his general future card with the Fool. So he knows or will know he needs new ways. He is hopeful while trying to manifest that and make it a reality ( the Magician, the Star). He is ready to let go of his guarded way of life, the battling and let people in.

In general, I think at this moment he doesn’t really have anyone specific, maybe he is dating or seeing someone casually but what I get is that he is ready. In his soul in his mind, he is more familiar with the idea to have someone serious or give a chance to have a meaningful, serious relationship. And I think this is an amazing phase. This is the energy I got. So I feel from now on it is up to the circumstances and not to him, because he is ready. He has done the hard work, the most important one. And one law of the universe is we get back what we put out. So I think he has a good chance in the romantic field to receive back amazing things because he learned and done the work. 

I hope you enjoyed it, I know I overlooked a few things and it could have been 2 pages longer but I wanted to type it because I promised this a long time ago. I also had a little health problems in the last 2 weeks and on top of that I am refurbishing my house and this is a nightmare but I didn’t want to use those as an excuse. But the last 2 weeks was not calm for me, so I couldn’t do a longer reading. Hopefully, the next ones will be longer. 

I hope you enjoyed it.

Be blessed.