#drunk lol

[toomuchracket]

push ur lack of chest out look at my HAIR gottalovethewayuloveurself

[sophaeros]

wait i swear m not stupid but can u give me some specific jules lyrics abt cheating pleeks

ok i think im the stupid one bc there's actually not as many as i thought there were?? possibly all the am ahj and machinegum lyrics got mixed up in there in my mind my bad. 😭😭😭

30 minute boyfriend is the obvious one and also the only one he wrote solo so. unless u wanna count barely legal. everything else i can think of he wrote w someone else like the adults are talking obviously, one of the ones by the voidz (fav btw. julian singing from the pov of a cheating housewife..), welcome to japan (but nick wrote most of that), games (Kind of. to me. but thats written by nick albert and julian)

ok so tldr sorry julian i was wrong there is really not that much cheating imagery. this is what i get for typing and posting too fast sorry anon

[howdoyousleep3]

Mama K, I was drinking on a boat with the family on Saturday and got sunburnt! It sucks! Which of the Daddies would lovingly and gently apply aloe to my body and take care of me even when I look like a baked ham?

Oh Panda! Not a baked ham! 🥺😂😭

Going with first thought— 3DWD. He’d be the best aloe apply-er, best sunburn caretaker. He’s an avid sunscreen believer though, so he’d make sure and chew your ass out as he takes firm but gentle care of you. 🥺🥰 With his big arms and his big chest and his big hands, ugh he’d rub you down right.

[iyxv]

just went to a drag show and had a very intimate moment with one of the gorgeous queens hiiii tumblr

[lustylupine]

i couldnt get an mri my pervert ass is into unbirthinf i would be fuxking screwwweeddd

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[yuwuta]

yuuta seems like he’s very horny but also extremely sleepy and in denial about said sleepiness when he’s drunk. he’s curled up into you on the couch, eyes half-lidded, words muffled because his lips are literally pressed against your collar, and you know he could pass out at any minute, but still, he insists, “baaaaaaby, i wan—wanna… i’m gonna be s’good to you when we get homeeee.” he can barely lift his head up to look at you, and when he does you know the blush on his cheeks isn’t just from the alcohol, that lust pooling in his eyes is real, but you can’t help but be caught in just how endearing his slow, heavy blinking is. 

yuuta is tired. you’re pretty sure that you’re gonna need maki or yuuji’s help getting him into a cab later, he’s already deadweight against you; but in yuuta’s hazy, drunk mind, all he can see is a halo above your head, all he can think about how much he loves you, how he always wants to be with you, how he wants to take care of you. “‘m gonna make you feel soooooo good,” he promises with a fuzzy smile, his head immediately dropping to your neck again, nose nuzzling against your skin where he presses a few sloppy kisses, “sooo good. promise. because i love you.” 

and even though drunk yuuta never quite gets to make good on his promises, he always makes it up to you to the morning after, showering you in kisses and mindlessly rolling his fingers over your nipples because, “aren’t you such an angel, took care of me all night,” he drawls, licking down the center of your stomach, “let me be good to you like i promised.” 

[pseudophan]

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)

[four-pointed-leaf]

we have to stop finding out things like this

[plagalkey]

drunk selfie from the bf

[coffin-spider]

*Click Click*

We all love lain ♡♥︎♡

[amygdalae]

[acecroft]

SUPERNATURAL 7.18

[howdoyousleep3]

DADDIES DADDIES DADDIES If you’re offering, I’m thinking about cock worship. Babies worshiping their daddies’ cocks, daddies worshipping their babies’ cocks (babies worshiping babies and daddies worshiping daddies oh my), just, dirty talk and dirty mouths and drool and gagging and sweet soft tears ❤️

(i can't write write right now ugh thanks vodka but i can def elaborate on thoughts this ask brought meeeeee)

I love nothing more than talking about cock worshippppppp 😍 Babies all spitty and whimpery and messy as they try their very hardest to impress their Daddies while trying arguably harder to not get absolutely lost in the process of doing so. They just want to be good for their Daddy 😭 Want to be praised and feel a bit (or more than a bit) used and just akfj0923049u2trj good.

Daddies worshipping their Babies' cocks? Their pretty little pricks that get so needy and wet when they get all excited? Mwah, delicious! So overwhelming for the Babies, to look down between their legs and see their Daddy's eyes already watching them, their lips wrapped tightly around them. How whiny and squirmy those Babies would be. 😭

Babies worshipping Babies?! Yum, what a needy bitty mess of a pair. They want to touch and feel and need things only their Daddies can give them but damnit, they sure are gonna try to get what they need from each other. Daddies worshipping Daddies?! I have simply passed away. How controlled and purposeful each move is, how they want to touch and move as if they're with their Baby but they can't, that's not how it works. 😮‍💨

So much drool, so much gagging, so much dirty talk. On all fronts, in all pairings, all the dirty talk. Babies on Babies might be more whimpery and noises and less words, but 🥴.

[vino---delectable]

Love how the members of the court of shadows released cardan so he could play cards with them and they could get drunk together.. Like that is the most unserious kidnapping you could get.

[clawsdevour]

tipsy touch

wc: 1.6k content warning: post-time skip, established relationship, tsukishima x reader, smut, tsukki is almost sober, vulnerable tsukki, oral sex f!receiving, cream pie, not proofread

note: tsukki would so be more needy n vulnerable n genuine w u instead of his stubborn sarcastic personaaaa #CUTE

𐙚᭄.

“Shit..” a low groan enters your house followed by the shutter of the front door clicking. The sound of shoes being taken off before creaking entering the hallway with a subtle clank. You hear the heavy figure slowly stumble down towards the kitchen, stopping when you hear the kitchen sink squeak. The sound of water trailing out from the faucet with a drip.

That sounded like Kei. He must’ve come back home from his little volleyball celebration with his team, you thought to yourself wondering why he came home a bit earlier than you thought but it was nothing really. Work was work, and you knew that due to his busy schedule.

Footsteps echoed along the thin walls and came to a halt at your bedroom door. A quiet knocking at your door, asking for your permission to walk in.

“It’s open,” Tilting your head from behind your book to see if you were correct. Tsukishima’s golden brown eyes behind his dark black frames peeked in through a small sliver of the cracked door. The lighting showed that his expressions were more relaxed than usual, his complex a shade of pink that you don’t see often. 

No wonder why he came home earlier. He was tipsy and knew better than to stay, acknowledging that he’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. His heavy body inches closer to your fluffy sheets and plops itself by your closed legs.

“It’s so hot..” Tsukishima muffily complains while trying to shuffle out of his jacket lying on his stomach. Successful, he threw it on the ground while he turnt to lay stomach up to the ceiling trying to catch the whiff of cool air. His chest rising slowly, eyes drooping as the blood in his veins continued to rush towards his face, deepening his already pink complexion.

“How much did you drink this time, Kei?” questioning your husband with a playful huff at the end of your sentence. He’s rarely drunk but whenever he is, he’s really cute and needy. His head tilts in the covers to mutter back at you, “Like.. not much.. I don’t know, but we really need to get a fan in here.” 

You carry on reading your book with a sly smile due to his half drunken state. His hand on his forehead trying to shield his eyes from the lit up light from the corner of your bedroom. Tsukishima’s averting his glossy eyes to the novel in your grasp. Tsukishima slowly rolls back onto his stomach, positioning himself at your closed knees, your eyes peering at him from the top in curiosity.

“What’re you reading?” His vision narrowed, trying to read the title through his slightly blurred eyes in complete focus. A large hand caressing your knee in gentle circles. 

“It’s one of Akaashi’s new works, I think you’d like it a lot.” You gently close the book shut, placing it on your side before reaching to brush through your husband's messy blonde locks of hair. Tsukishima’s hands continue to graze your skin, sending you small shivers from the tips of his warm fingers.

“Hmm.. read it later” mumbling as his lips press against your skin. His other hand places itself under your knee, parting the line that kept your legs close together. 

“Missed you so much today, didn’t get a chance to even kiss you before I left…” he’s pressing sloppy wet kisses onto your inner thighs, sending you small sparks that ignited in your core. His slender fingers continued to roam on your legs as he continued to leisurely separate them off to the side. 

Parted enough for his stature, his hand cups under your knee to lock you in place while his other hand reaches under your silky nightgown. His finger prodding at your panties which had a damp spot, causing you to quietly gasp under your breath. 

His drunken eyes meet with yours asking for your permission, to which you allow his advances. You quickly slip from his grasp to slide down your undergarments and throw them off towards the edge of the bed. His tight clutch is back on your thighs while his face buried itself in between your legs, staring right back at your heat emitting cunt. 

Swirling around your sensitive bud with his hot tongue you can’t help but moan. His sleepy eyes fixated on you with each stroke he makes on your slippery clit. Flicking it up and down, then circling around it before he moved further down towards your entrance. The foreign sensation entering your slick hole while the grasp you held onto the sheets loosens to move onto the back of your husband’s head. Your grip on Tsukishima’s head increased as you pushed him further onto you while you called out for him. 

His tongue’s attacking you aggressively while he’s watching you squirm right in front of him, growing more erect with each whine and whimper that escapes from your mouth. Tsukishima’s lapping up all of your essence when he removes himself from your dripping cunt to insert a finger or two in. You watched as he’s working his long fingers, glossy and sparkling with your juices, in and back out multiple times as you near your high.

The hands wrapped behind your knees increased in strength when he folded them further, pushing you onto your back as he continued to rip out an orgasm out of you. You’re at a breathless mindless state when he does, painting a vision of white as you cum on his digits. His face, red with a smug look and slightly wet from your release.

“Kei..” reaching out your arms for him while his body towered over you for your embrace. His flustered face closes the gap between you, hands still lingering under your silk dress.

Planting a kiss on your lips, you pull back to gaze at him for a moment while his hot alcohol-smelling breath tickles the surface of your cheek. His erection, painfully hard, slightly rubbing onto your radiating core. Sharing an intimate kiss once more before he unbuckles his restraining belt that laid on his waist, letting comfort ease over him when he unclasps the button on his pants. Tsukishima frees his cock, it recoils out and hits the bottom of your stomach causing you to flinch. 

“..Can I?” Nodding out your final answer before tenderly dragging his tip against your soaking wet pussy up and down to collect your fluids. The friction makes you quiver while biting your bottom lip. 

One thrust was all it took for him to shove all of him inside you while you yelped out of shock. He let you adjust to his size for a moment before he further started to rock his hips into you. You're absorbing the feeling of him while he started off at a slow consistent pace, watching his eyes flutter with pleasure from being in your overbearing cunt. 

Tsukishima’s lowering himself onto you, inches away from your body while you wrap your arms around his neck. You could smell the alcohol off his shirt that radiated heat from his overall figure. He’s peppering you with kisses in between grunts as his pace started to grow sloppier but faster. Your ragged gasps mix with the echoing of skin on skin slapping. 

Your pussy’s stretching from all the gradually building up pleasure to accommodate his length, squeezing down when you felt his dick twitch inside you. His cock is plunging back in and out covered in your glistening fluids, making it easier to continue thrusting. His eyes and the effects of alcohol made his longing for you fill with overwhelming ecstasy, heightening his experience as if he was on autopilot. 

Heat building up at the bottom of your stomach once more, breathlessly panting throughout moans that resonated in his ears. All the blood is rushing to his tip, feeling all hot and heavy inside you as Tsukishima’s body continues to surge into yours at full speed.

The way your walls clung tightly onto his erection was all it took for him to understand you were nearing your climax. His lips moved down to caress the crook of your neck, softly sucking on your skin leaving subtle marks along with his pecks here and there. Your nails were digging into his shirt, gripping onto his pace while you took his delicious cock.

“Feel so good.. I’m gonna cum, Kei” babbling out to him with your half lidded gaze. Tsukishima’s golden brown eyes peered at you from your nestled neck to see your adorable expressions twist with each seductive moan that left your lips. 

“M’too.. you’re so cute,” latching his messy kisses onto your jaw. His thumb reaches down to play with your swollen clit to help finish you off. You’re curling your toes while accepting all of the stimulation he’s giving you while you shiver in delight.

You lose your senses when that thread you were holding onto for so long snaps. Creaming all over his cock as it rimmed with a thick white substance, continuously getting pushed back into your cunt. It was like you saw stars in your field of vision when you came. Your arms relax and bounce with each of his remaining thrusts.

“I’m almost there.. don’t worry.” Tsukishima’s breathing is inconsistent and heavy while beads of sweat continue to gather on his forehead. Plummeting his cock at a speedy pace as you laid beneath him, tiredly caressing the bottom of his face.

Loud groans slipped off of Tsukishima’s tongue when his white honey-like liquid spewed into your nether regions. His cum filled you to the brim, leaking out when he slowly removed himself from your swollen cunt. The tall figure looked over you, watching his milky white seed seep down from your gaping hole that twitched to be stuffed once more before collapsing onto you from exhaustion.

His eyelids rested for a second before prying open again to glance at you once more. Buried in your sweet heat, he’s mumbling to you.

“I drank so much.. cause I missed you.” 

masterlist here