this is probably a very unoriginal thought considering i'm about three weeks late to this movie, but i simply cannot stop thinking about it.
one of the core themes of nimona is acceptance; more specifically, the idea of accepting the "other," which isn't exactly unheard of (especially in media primarily targeted at younger audiences).
but nimona isn't just about the "normal" accepting the "other". upon further inspection, it's actually chiefly about different members of the "other" accepting each other first.
(disclaimer: i'm not trying to downplay the impact of other queer media with more focus on queer people being accepted by non-queer people. i think those stories are just as important to tell. however, nimona went about things in a subtly but also not-so-subtly different way that i feel the need to gush over lol.)
this distinction makes the message not only more unique, but exponentially more poignant in the modern context. because yes, the "normal" should still learn to accept the "other," but how can that be accomplished when there is othering within the outcasts themselves?
this question is why i find it very powerful that ballister is a gay man, even putting aside the obvious impact he has as mlm representation on his own. it's more the fact that he is treated as a villain alongside nimona (who is so trans coded i'm not even sure its code), but even he isn't fully accepting or understanding of her at first.
he asks "small-minded questions," akin to the invasive curiosity often targeted towards trans people about their bodies and transition.
he expresses a want for nimona to just "be a girl" because it's easier for him, which is comparable to cis people sometimes making someone's transition about their own feelings without realizing how it affects the trans person in question (not even getting into the extra layer added by how the term "girl" is pointedly used as opposed to just "person" relative to her shapeshifting capabilities).
he even, at some point, completely treats nimona as the "other" by calling her a "monster" when he himself is being called, semi-equivalently, a "murderer".
in other words, it's very telling that in a world where ballister's sexuality isn't questioned, nimona's shapeshifting is.
not to mention the fact that these moments aren't even necessarily representative of hostility towards trans people exclusively, because transphobia isn't always just being intentionally hateful. it's also the seemingly more trivial, unintentional but still just as harmful things (like "small-minded questions"): ignorance—and even between queer people—hypocrisy.
in this sense, ballister's behavior really speaks to the broader issue of the othering of trans people not just in general society, but in the queer spaces they should feel safe in.
so yeah, maybe i am a little insane about how ballister and nimona went from being separate villains to a villain and a sidekick.
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There was a post going around earlier that made me realize the theme of Inquisition is duality. Every character in the party is torn between two sides of themselves.
The Inquisitor can believe they're chosen or just some poor fool who was in the wrong place at the wrong time - and they can go back and forth on these thoughts.
Bull is torn between his duty to the Qun and the people he loves.
Solas - obviously - has a lot going on. Not just with who he is and who he pretends to be but also joining the Inquisition with a straight forward plan and finding himself questioning the wisdom of that plan at every turn.
Blackwall - the honorable man he wants to be and his traitorous past.
Cole - human or spirit?
Cassandra - the noble Seeker who finds her faith and everything she believed in (including herself) in doubt
Sera - undeniably an elf who refuses to have anything to do with her race, which is ultimately a trait that makes her who she is while also alienating herself.
Vivienne - a woman with a practiced hard exterior who's afraid to show she cares because it can be construed as "weakness"
Varric - he's his cheerful self, but I think he really hates being back in the fight again
And I'm not really sure what the point of all this is except... perhaps the game itself has a bit of a dual-nature to it. Like, is this a story of your protagonist striking out and saving the world? Or is it a story of Solas and Corypheus, two gods who set out to "destroy" the world, and the poor mortals who got in between? Are we the hero in this story? Or a side character?
And that point, I think it's more accurate to say the theme of Inquisition is identity. Because we, the player, are the only ones who can answer the question of what the game is about. And our choices help direct these characters toward one side of their internal struggle or the other.
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Sometimes helping others requires great feats of strength, Rayla. But you are right. Sometimes an act of caring is as simple as being there when it seems no one else is. Both are necessary.
Something I think about a lot is that when Rayla tries to do Moonshadow Form entirely Runaan's way, thinking about the people she loves and the reconciliation of life and death, it doesn't entirely work. Part of this may be because at this point in the story, she hasn't been able to really square with Runaan's viewpoint ("How can you forgive him for putting himself in so much danger? [...] I just don't get why you'd put yourself in so much danger when you have someone who means to much to you back at home?") because she hasn't seen the 'rewards' of it yet (saving Suroh and his family).
I think Runaan's stance here -- that you have to sacrifice to get something 'good' and worth it out of it -- is something Rayla has incorporated into her own worldview... just not as completely. As she says: "Who's to say you can't have both?" It makes me think of how when she also reflects on Ethari's advice, and her desire to protect people rather than her own loss, that's when she unlocks Moonshadow form.
While I could see the moon fam both potentially getting out in S6 and it being delayed to S7, I do think either way Rayla is going to confront and ultimately reject the worst of her parents' ideologies, and instead keep only the good. The woman they're going to meet upon getting out is going to be radically different than the young girl or driven teen they remember, and it makes me think back again to previous hopes about Rayla's development not being contingent of repairing things with her family, but that she grows to the point that she's able to guide them through the path she's just walked into a better world and healthier worldview.
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𖥔 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 𖥔
* fell child mastery drabble
' Only like this did end seem as beginning; she-twin, he-twin, Nel and Rafal the corruption of some adam and some eve. '
...
Always did our Child gaze at angels, the heavens of Gradlon never remiss in them.
Dreamy eyes tracked the flights of bat-winged cherubs burning bright, sisters and brothers fulsomely fledged, their scales in wonderful midnight array. They couldn't be less like him; Rafal son of dragons, yet unable to fly.
Rafal named for wind, but unfit for wings.
- ✶ -
Often the flightless one braced his fingers against the sky.
On clear days, it was filled with many siblings. He couldn't match them in their transformations, so instead he imitated their aeronautical exercises the best he could. He climbed to the peak of the highest rock just to jump down. As he bruised on the pits at the craggy base, he clung to the belief that one day such reckless falls would awaken flight. A fool's placebo reconciling him to the unattainable, but it wasn't longing he insisted, it was training.
Other times the method was different. When he bit into raw meat he thought that he’d wake up the next day, a little more changed, a little more dragonlike. The snake he found flattened on the road weighed so light between his hands. It went so heavy down his throat he retched it back up.
It wasn't longing he insisted, it was training.
Rafal insisted, wanted, blistered, sometimes cried. He exhausted his options, his little legs and weary mind, but there was no training he could do for the second thing he really, truly wanted. Maybe that thing he desired just that little bit more. Flightless and twinless, he watched those gamboling children in the clouds.
Always flown in pairs.
- ✶ -
Always did our Child gaze at devils, the hells of Gradlon never remiss in them.
Many behaved as they were created to be; selfish, yearning, wanting, destined for more. Countless fledgling devils of Sombron and each a growing supernova that burned in the greater scheme of his galaxy, where many would die, and others would shine brighter, where that decision was decided by the violent expansions of others or the sanguinary excellence of oneself.
Only blood natural, only power law.
"Failure. You looked at me just now, didn't you? It feels disgusting, you know. Being stared at by someone like you."
"I di–" I didn't.
—crunch.
A sane and lawful beating because only power was law. The other godling wiped his blood off his cheek, never mind that it was shared. Especially because shared. Even afterward his eyes still glowed with calculation, like he were the master, the king, the one who decided every fate weaker than his own. He and all others - he and all siblings who brought Rafal one heartbeat closer to madness in the healthy circulation of their own minds, and the rightful stretch of their wings.
- ✶ -
Ancestor; Three Houses; Brash General; Lonely Heir; Strategist; Doting Sister; Shepherd Exalt. Seven archangels sprung from people's fervent yearning. An eighth for whom Rafal would kneel, pray, and yearn equally if only asked. Awaiting them at the promised crossroads that was, to him, all but promised land.
"Were you waiting long?"
Not really, he said of minutes, stretching an hour from his limbs. The statue encased in stillness until anticipated thaw, the loyal dog not once derelict across winter storm or summer scorch, he sat under the same barren tree without counting the time, for only one reason. Because there was no place he would rather be than their spot of promise. Two to meet here.
Lamb who could never be devil, petal-soft hand entered his, a shy smile for him. Always did Rafal gaze at an angel.
Nil was his name.
- ✶ -
The bruised and haunted eyes with which 'Nil' enters Lythos eventually abates, replaced by shy welcome of the new garden and the new company, even so skittishly clinging to Nel, to his tree, and to the place at her side he must convince others he has always known. Deceive Nel, Nil asks in parting, and Rafal obeys. Deceive Nel, Father orders in parting, and Rafal...obeys.
For many years, for some centuries, it has been Nel and Nil. That it still was, if now also come to several more pairs; they and the Divine One, they and Zelestia, and now Nil and his fruits. Peaches for example were only grown in Lythos, and pink, peachlike Nil finds lush bounty in lieu of arid scarcity agreeable - finds a place here.
Half-bitten fruit nesting in one hold, he used the other to turn a page. Reading on that bench of a sunny patch, there was peace in paradise, even if he knew it wasn't for an imposter. Even if he balked to sleep alone without Nel, nightmares of not yet severed reality startling him awake with a whimper. Gradlon though out of sight did not fail to be totally gone. The serpent planted its whispers, coiled curse heavy over his heart.
—someday, you'll betray this eden.
Peach finished, the apple this time.
- ✶ -
Apocalypse; Eschaton; Ragnarok; serpent-fulfilled prophecy and world's end by any chosen name. The Fell Heir with his scarred ambitions and his belated ascension with none to weather his squall. Rafal meaning gust, and only his breaths flowed through his desolate planet. Rafal named for wind, and his Four Winds departed on divine ark, he the fifth to stay behind for his sins. Peace like the crack of a whip for his kind that halcyon dreams did not suit, and yet there was some of it, perhaps, at the edge of existence.
Only like this did end seem as beginning. Kings and laws and civilizations lost their once tightly clutched meaning, as if everything were simply returned to the cosmic dust from which they had sprung millions of years ago. A fresh and bloodless slate by every last drop of blood corrupted.
Only like this did end seem as beginning; she-twin, he-twin, Nel and Rafal the corruption of some adam and some eve. He sinful, she faithful. They who shed the patterns of old bloodied testaments; they, new age twins born not by womb but reborn by choice.
Only like this, at both end and beginning, he awakened, understood to where and for why his cogs ought turn. Brother bled of his foolish curse by sister's veins, for another twin once more he sat, and once more he waited. Loyal beside her, not once derelict across winter storm or summer scorch, every day he looked after Nel. Every night he looked to the stars where Nil was watching in that true promised land.
- ✶ -
Always did our Child gaze at angels.
Caped in seraph feathers and forsworn of serpent scales, one remarkable Fell Child who showed they could with red and blue, once black and now white, all at once be divine. Their hand extended to another who had once lost his way: our Child, no longer powerless and ravaging to be strong; our Child no longer blinded, reaching for Gradlon to heal where Gradlon had burned.
Rafal whose final paradox breathed within the failed lungs of his world: that by twilight there was, finally, dawn.
"Welcome to you both," divinity welcomed. "It really is a lovely morning."
...
「 RAFAL 」 has mastered: Fell Child
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