#dude said no words during this episode and managed to figure out he was being followed

[the-gentleman-mermaid]

SO MANY FEELINGS about 207 and Stede and Ed all the stuff happening between them

There's so much going on with both of them, and so much coming together while also missing what the other needs. We get the first murmurings of the division between them during their breakfast in bed, which was otherwise so perfect!  Ed wants to avoid all near death situations, and Stede is like yeah right.  Even after their night, there's just such a subdued quality to Ed on this morning. At the Republic, Stede lives it up and Ed gives him advice, all the while becoming more distant as he sees Stede embrace the pirate life of fame.

The life of fame which Stede only got because he killed someone, getting into the ugly side of the pirate world.  Of course, at the end of the episode, Ed leaves.  But like, we know this isn’t going to last.  There’s no way the next episode will have Ed on a fishing boat while every other pirate in the Republic is under siege.  The question is, after Ed comes back into the fold to fight, how will it go and what will he do after?  He flat out says he doesn’t want to be a pirate anymore to Stede, so in the future, where does that leave them?  “Last night was a mistake.”--Ed, just shoot me through the heart why don’t you!  My take right now is that he’s scared about how good things with Stede can be combined with scared over getting hurt again because he and Stede are on different wavelengths about piracy, and he’s leaving before he can get hurt again.  He wants to find out who he is and that’s fair.

However, I honestly don’t see him actually managing to be a fisherman or run an inn or have a bar and grill.  I have no idea what retirement might hold for him, but I think Anne and Mary were an example of pirates trying to be ‘normal’ not going well.  We also get words of wisdom from Jackie in “You going through that ‘if I was a regular dude’ phase?”  Ed might be able to stop being Blackbeard, but he’s never going to be a regular dude.  The legend is always going to be there, and I think Ed’s got to figure out how reconcile both halves of himself without being one or the other.  Where does that leave him and Stede in/after the finale?  I have no idea.  Ed leaving at the end of S2 would be a parallel to Stede leaving in S1, though since Ed has already ‘left’ here, I don’t know if they would do that.  Obviously I hope they don’t!  I want Stede and Ed to be on something like the same page. I would also like them to actually outright say ‘I love you’ to each other, y’know, as long as I’m asking for things.

I’m also ambivalent on Stede living it up at the Republic.  He’s less the Gentleman Pirate than he is just a regular pirate. Maybe I’ll change my mind after rewatching or reading other takes, but what happened to the “I don’t like to drink till I puke” guy?  Granted, Stede didn’t puke, but this version of him would have fit right in with Calico Jack.  He’s rowdy, he’s lighting people on fire (though you have to take select violence with a grain of salt on this show), he’s the toast of the town.  Being a famous pirate is what Stede always wanted!  But will he hit the brakes a little, will he realize that it’s all well and good until someone is firing cannonballs into the harbor and blowing ships up, realize that he wants Ed more than this particular life?  I honestly don’t know how they can continue on if one of them wants to be a pirate and one doesn’t, but I didn’t know how they could satisfactorily redeem Izzy, either, and here he is singing and giving relationship advice, so clearly the writers are a step ahead of me. 

Maybe something is going to happen in the finale that will take the choice away from them—like the Navy closes in and piracy isn’t an option.  I don’t think they’ll totally go that route, though, since then it wouldn’t be Stede choosing anything.  I want Stede and Ed to come to a common ground, and I think that has to be some version of both of them pulling back from the extreme.  Like Izzy said to Stede, Stede and Ed balance each other. Stede did run away to become a pirate, but when he left Mary the second time, he was running to ED.  They’ve done a lot of running, both to and away from each other, and somehow, they have to find that sweet spot where they can both thrive.

[storiesforallfandoms]

we’re too stupid ~ the vlog squad

word count: 1885

request?: yes!

@iawaythrown​  “May I ask for a vlog squad x popular youtube reader

The reader has their own very popular youtube channel/podcast like a scientific/space podcast. (Like a Vsauce\GameTheory channel) The vlog squad and the reader fan base (somehow) always wants them to collab. One day David says "It won't happen because the reader probably doesn't like us." This ends up getting everyone on the podcast.”

description: when their favorite youtubers show interest in being on their podcast, they jump at the chance to invite them on

pairing: vlog squad x gender neutral!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“You know what I’ve been listening to a lot lately?” Scotty asked David on the newest vlog David had uploaded. You were watching the vlog on your TV while you prepared to upload the newest episode of your podcast. You had a drink half raised to your lips when Scott responded to his own question, “The Spaced Out podcast.”

Your drink nearly slipped from your hand at the mention of your podcast. You were sure you had imagined it, so you went back and repeated the part just to be sure. The name of your podcast slipped from Scott’s lips again and you had to pause the video to scream with excitement.

When you placed the video again, David spoke next. “Oh wait, is that the one about space and shit? You played it for me before.”

“Yeah! Man, it’s so interesting. I could honestly listen to the host talk about space all day,” Scott said.

“He keeps bringing it up during the Scottcast, too,” Jeff commented. “I’m starting to think he’d rather co-host that podcast instead of our own.”

“Man, I’d love to be on that podcast!”

You could hardly contain your excitement. Your favorite YouTubers knew who you were?! They knew your podcast?! You had to be dreaming, you were sure of it.

“There’s no way they’d ever have us on the podcast,” David was saying. “We’re too stupid and immature, they’d probably hate us.”

“Speak for yourself!” Zane, dressed in some weird costume for a bit, called, causing the boys to laugh together.

This gave you an idea. You put your laptop aside and opened Instagram on your phone. You searched the name “David Dobrik” and went to his DMs.

~~~~~~

A week later, your podcasting room was filled with 11 extra people than there normally was. The room was only small with a handful of seats, so a lot of your guests were squeezed in together or basically sat on one another. No one seemed to mind, though. Every single person in the room was super excited to be there.

“What’s up all my space geeks? Welcome back to another episode of The Spaced Out podcast, the podcast where we discuss super nerdy space things,” you started with your usual intro. “Today’s episode is a little different, though, as today I am joined by not one, not two, not even three, but eleven special guests. You heard me right, eleven. Special guests, wanna say hi?”

All eleven of your guests rang out with a chorus of, “Hello!”s at the one time, making it all come out as just a shouting mess. You laughed and waved a hand to silence them.

“In case you had trouble understanding what they were saying,” you said, “my guests today are David, Scotty, Toddy, Zane, Erin, Carly, Natalie, Heath, Mariah, Corinna, and Jeff, better known as a large chunk of YouTube’s biggest vlogging group: The Vlog Squad!”

The Vlog Squad cheered at their introduction as you just clapped your hands.

“Can I just say,” Heath said once the noise started to die down, “that I am impressed with how fast you said our names and how easy it was. You didn’t even stutter once.”

“I’ll be honest, when David told me exactly who was coming I prepared myself for this,” you admitted. “I’ve never had so many guests on the show before. Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever had any guests at all. I don’t really know anyone in my real life that’s as interested in space and science as I am.”

“To be fair, none of us are, either,” Jeff joked, causing the room to laugh.

“Yeah, you picked the wrong people to be on your podcast,” Corinna added.

“You don’t have to have any sort of interest to be on the podcast, really. As long as you don’t mind me talking about my nerdy space obsession every now and then anyone is welcome on the podcast.”

Your heart was beating so fast you were sure everyone else could hear it. You were shocked that you were managing to remain so calm in that moment. Your favorite YouTubers were sitting right there in front of you, being guests on your podcast, and somehow you were acting as though they were just friends that you had convinced to come on the podcast.

“Is there any cool space facts you can share with us to get the ball rolling?” David asked.

“Dude, I’ve made over 300 episodes of this podcast that is literally all about space, you gotta narrow down your parameters there,” you told him.

“What’s your favorite space fact then?”

You thought for a moment, going through all the little facts you had in your mind. There was so much you could share with them that you really didn’t know where to start.

“Okay,” you said finally, “I have one. I think David will like this cause we all know he’s made of money: there is a planet that is called 55 Cancri e. It is over twice the size of Earth and it is potentially made of diamonds.”

They all gasped and made comments of astonishment at the same time at this.

“Like, literally made of diamonds?” Corinna asked.

“It’s hard to know for sure. It’s roughly 41 lightyears away so it’s not exactly easy to reach, but they think it’s made of graphite and diamonds,” you explained. “My favorite fact, and one that’s a little scary, is that it’s actually completely silent in space. Like not a single sound, because atmospheres around planets are what contain the soundwaves to make noise.”

“I told you,” David said, turning to face Scott. “We’re too stupid to be on this podcast.”

You all laughed together. “You guys aren’t stupid! I was just fascinated with space as a child and my parents let me feed into that fascination. They always bought me books about space and brought me to visit certain space centers. I was that kid that always said she was gonna grow up and be an astronaut. Instead, I just talk about them on the internet.”

Everything was going so well. You were getting to know your guests and they kept urging you to tell them facts and stories about space. You knew a lot of what you were telling them you had talked about on the podcast before, so devoted listeners probably wouldn’t be too interested in a lot of what you had to say in that episode, but you didn’t mind too much. You just loved to see the looks of astonishment on everyone’s faces as you continued to tell them fact after fact.

When you came to a segment you did in the podcast in which you would read messages from fans, you decided to your guests choose which messages to read and respond to. David took the tablet you used for this first and read through the thousands of messages you received between uploading your most recent episode and recording the current one.

“Are you going to talk about the new 4K pictures of Mars?” he read.

“Oh my God, yes!” you responded. “That will be next episode. I haven’t looked at them all yet because I wanna have a live reaction to them, but I did see one picture and it looks absolutely stunning.”

“It blew my mind how it just looked like a desert here,” Carly commented. “Mars is a lot more like Earth than we think. Sucks that we’ll never be able to live there or anything.”

“I don’t think we’ll never be able to live there, but I don’t think it’ll happen in our lifetimes,” you commented. “But that’s a whole other thing, let’s move on from that.”

“What has been your favorite space related story of the past year?” Natalie read the message she had picked.

“I don’t know if it’s my favorite, but it’s definitely one that I was very interested in reading: a star just vanished in 2020,” you responded. “Apparently that’s something that can just happen, stars can just suddenly disappear and no one knows where they went. This star from the Kinman dwarf galaxy that shined almost brighter than the sun just vanished between 2011 and 2020, and they have no explanation for it. That story stuck with me the most cause I just find it funny that a star that bright just vanished and no one can figure out where it went.”

They continued reading you messages for a while before passing your tablet back to you.

“While I wish I could sit here with you guys and talk about space and your vlogs forever, unfortunately we are running out of time,” you said. “I want to thank the Vlog Squad again for joining me on this episode, and I hope I didn’t bore you guys to death with my stories and facts.”

“Not at all!” David spoke. “I can’t speak for everyone, but I really enjoyed myself. Listening to you talk was really interesting.”

The rest of the group agreed. You tried not to blush from all their kind words.

“I always wanna thank our sponsors again. As always I appreciate them supporting my show, and of course I want you guys, the listeners. Your constant support for the show means so much to me. If you wanna hear more fun facts about space that you’ll never use in live, follow me on my social media. If you’re not already following the podcast, follow the podcast! I upload episodes every Friday, and if you want to be involved in the show be sure to send me your space related messages and maybe I’ll read them out on the next episode. Have a good weekend, little space geek out!”

You ended the recording and the group almost cheered for you. You smiled and stood to thank them again for coming on the show. You were shocked when Corinna pulled you into a hug, which caused the rest of the group to hug you one by one.

“This was the most fun I think I’ve ever had,” Erin commented. “Would you be open to having more guests on the show? I’d love to come back and to just listen to you talk for a full hour.”

The rest of the squad agreed. You really didn’t think you could feel any more excited or on cloud nine, but they kept surprising you.

“I would definitely be open to having guests again,” you replied. “If you guys ever wanna be on the show again, just send me a DM. I’d love to have you!”

“We’d love to have you on the vlogs sometime, too, if you’d be open for that,” David told you.

There they go again, making you feel like you had passed cloud nine and now were on a completely different planet with excitement.

“Y-Yeah!” you managed. “Of course, I’d love that!”

After some more small talk, you showed the group out and thanked them again for coming. Once you were sure they were gone and unable to see you, you began jumping for joy and exclaiming with excitement. You couldn’t believe it! You had just hosted a podcast with your favorite people, and they asked you to join them for filming sometime?!

“This is the best day of my life!”

[whitecatindisguise]

Taking It Too Far

So I've watched Fan Friction episode and immediately I was struck by how wrong they approached the subject. Hiro was right to be upset, but the producers didn't give him the right reason. This story is an attempt to right the wrongs. That, and there are also other changes to the basic episode plot because 1) I didn't remember everything and didn't really have time nor mood to rewatch it, 2) I thought some things would be better if changed a bit.

Anyway, I hope you like it and enjoy yourselves.

AO3 link here

... and there, inside the lab, was Captain Cutie’s beautiful girlfriend, Karmi. The two locked eyes and-

“Hey, Fred. What are you doing?” Hiro popped out from behind the man and looked at the other’s screen. He squinted his eyes, skimming through the words. “Is that-?”

“A fanfiction about us? Sure is!” Fred cut in enthusiastically, grinning wildly. “And I gotta tell you, man, it’s amazing! The plot, the characters, the action, the characters!”

Hiro rose one eyebrow, clearly not siding with the other’s enthusiasm. His gaze wandered back to the screen and he stopped dead.

“Why am I called Captain Cutie? And why Karmi is my girlfriend? Who wrote this?!” He asked angrily. Him and Karmi? Never in a lifetime!

“I don’t know, but they post as KHeartsQT.” Fred waved his hand dismissively, his focus solely on the story.

Hiro hummed and moved the cursor to the author’s name and clicked on it, recoiling the moment a pop-up window showed a profile picture.

There, on Fred’s computer screen, his greatest nemesis was staring back at him.

***

“I can’t believe it!” Hiro burst into the main lab, stomping past Honey Lemon and almost bumping into confused Wasabi, who barely managed to jump away. Without a word of apologise, the young teen approached his working space and shoved his backpack onto the desk, sitting down heavily on the chair.

“What’s up with him?” Go Go popped a balloon as she stated at the clearly upset boy.

“Nothing. He just doesn’t like Karmi’s fan fiction.” Fred shrugged as he strolled inside and flopped onto his armchair. “Can’t really relate. It’s amazing! And did you see how she named me? Flame Jumper! Not as cool as Fredzilla, obviously, but points for awesomeness.”

“Oh, I read it.” Honey Lemon chimmed in. “It’s really well-written. Although, I don’t know why my name is Tall Girl. I’m not that tall, aren’t I?”

A series of weeeeell’s and ummmm’s echoed in the lab and the ginger-haired woman dropped her head down in response.

“She called me Chop Chop.” Wasabi added. “I can see where it’s coming from, but it makes me sound like some character from the kid’s show, and not a proper superhero.”

“Speed Queen.” Go Go spoke from her side of the lab, tinkering with some kind of miniature scooter. “Sounds cool.”

“All of you have normal nicknames. But she called me Captain Cutie. And made herself my- ugh- girlfriend.” Hiro cringed as he spoke. “Who even gave her a right to write about us? I don’t remember giving my permission, do you?”

“Calm down, Hiro. It’s just a story.”  Honey Lemon put a hand on his shoulder but he shook it off.

“Well, maybe I don’t appreciate being put in a story that’s clearly fake and totally unrealistic?!” He snatched his backpack and stomped towards the door. “I’m going to work in my lab. Away from that nonsense.”

With these words, he stormed out, his angry footsteps and muttering audible until he turned the corridor.

“Wow. Talk about negative energy.” Wasabi commented, as they stared at the door.

***

In the coming days, Hiro’s mood only got worse. Everyone on the campus seemed to enjoy Karmi’s story, some even starting to ship Karmiutie, as they began to call the imagined pairing between Karmi and Captain Cutie. Hiro couldn’t even take a step without someone saying something about the story or the ship, or, which happened more often than he would like it, mentioning both.

Karmi seemed to love the attention. Other students called to her on the corridor, expressing their enjoyment of her story and some even daring to ask whether she and Captain Cutie really were a couple. Hiro didn’t stay to hear the girl’s response, stomping away angrily, to the confusion of the students.

With everything going on, he was unfocused and started failing classes he usually had no trouble with. Professor Granville seemed to be both upset and concerned about this change. He couldn’t tell her what bothered him, however, so he made an excuse about not feeling well lately. He wasn’t sure she believed him.

To make things worse, his upset state started to affect his superhero work as well. He kept making mistakes leading to the whole team getting into trouble and only barely managing to catch criminals they encountered. This only led to his mood worsening.

The young teen was walking down the hallway, trying to tune out the conversations revolving around the newest chapter of the fan fiction, when he suddenly collided with someone and they both landed in the floor, stunned by the hit.

“Hey, watch where you’re going!” He heard an annoyingly familiar voice and he looked up to see Karmi picking herself up from the floor, snatching her phone from where it slid off during the crash.

“I was. Which you would notice if you wasn’t gaping at your phone, producing those abominations of yours all the time.” Hiro seethed, picking himself up from the floor.

“Excuse you!” Karmi huffed in response. “What’s your problem?!”

“Oh, I don’t know?” Hiro replied, anger seeping into his voice. “Maybe that you write about real people and forcing them into fake relationships to release your crazy fantasies? Or maybe that you give stupid names which don’t fit the characters at all?”

“For your information, everybody loves my story. I even have some faithful fans that comment on every chapter, like Fredelicious24.” Karmi replied defensively. “And since nobody knows what their real names are, I’m allowed to use whatever I want.”

“I’m sure Captain Cutie is thrilled to be called that.” Hiro rebounded, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

“Maybe he is!” the girl shouted back. “What do you know, anyway?”

“Ugh, forget it!” The dark-haired teen shoved his arms apart and stomped away, trying to ignore the whispering from the students who watched the encounter.

It was around lunch time, when his friends found him, sitting alone in the cafeteria, poking his food with an upset expression.

“Hiro, what’s wrong? We heard about your argument with Karmi.” Honey Lemon started, as they all took their seats.

“Yeah, so? Are you also going to tell me what a jerk I am? I heard it at least twenty times by now.” He huffed, impaling one of the fries onto the fork and biting on it angrily.

“We just want to help.” Wasabi replied, eyeing as the teen gathered several more fries and stuffed them all into his mouth, munching aggressively.

“But we can’t, until you tell us what’s going on.” Go Go added.

Just then, several students passed by, the pieces of their conversation about Karmi’s story and the Karmiutie ship reaching their eyes. Hiro grunted and picked up his tray, pushing the chair away.

“I’m going to eat in my lab.” He said and walked away.

“That is highly insanitary!” Wasabi called after him.

Honey Lemon looked thoughtful, as she stared at the retreating back of the young teen, and gazed at the group of students, who had now taken over one of the tables nearby.

“Of course! Why didn’t I notice that before?” He exclaimed triumphantly. The others looked at her questioningly. “Come on, we have to talk to him!” she gathered her stuff and rushed off, others staring in the direction she went.

“So... Do we follow or...?” Wasabi asked. Right then, Fred’s phone buzzed and he gasped.

“The creepy knife-lady escaped from prison!” He exclaimed. They shared a look.

“Guess we’ll talk to Hiro after that.” Go Go commented, as they left the cafeteria.

***

To say the action went well would be a major understatement. Not only did Momakase escape, but she also cut through Go Go’s disks, left Honey Lemon and Fred stuck in the goo, Baymax lost one of his leg thrusters and rocket fist, and Wasabi’s blades needed a serious repair.

Hiro was trying to help, but the conversation with Karmi was still fresh in his mind and he couldn’t properly focus on the fight. It was pathetic, even he had to agree.

He angrily took of his helmet and shoved it towards the wall. It hit the divider with a metallic clang and fell to the floor, leaving a small dent in where it met with the structure.

“Your body language indicated extreme anger.” Baymax spoke from behind. Hiro huffed.

“Oh yeah? How did you figure that one out?” He asked, sitting on his chair with arms crossed.

“You are making a face expression known as frown.” Baymax said. “Your body is tense and you are-“

“I was being sarcastic, Baymax.” Hiro interrupted. Baymax blinked.

“I am not programmed to recognise sarcasm.” The robot replied and Hiro groaned.

“Hiro? You there?” Honey Lemon called out and the whole gang entered his garage, suits off.

“Just peachy.” The young teen answered, starting to take off Baymax’s armour.

“Don’t worry, dude. We’ll get the crazy knife-lady next time.” Fred patted his friend’s shoulder comfortingly. Hiro glared at him and the man slowly backed away.

“We’re worried about you, Hiro.” Honey Lemon spoke again, her eyes matching her words. “Is it about Karmi’s story?”

“What? Noooo.” Hiro waved his hand nonchalantly. Everyone stared at him, unimpressed.

“It’s totally about the story.” Go Go said.

“Definitely.” Wasabi agreed.

Hiro sighed and turned away, hugging his arm.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled.

“Your body language indicates discomfort.” Baymax spoke.

“Hiro... You are clearly upset about it.” Honey Lemon said. “And I think I know why.”

“Y-you do?” Hiro asked, but backed down really quick. “I-I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, Honey Lemon, why would he be upset with it! The story is epic!” Fred joined in, unaware of Hiro’s frown deepening as the male kept on talking. “The plot is amazing, there are so many cliffhangers and, of course, the cherry on top being Karmiutie, of which, by the way, I am the president of the fanclub and-“

He was interrupted by the slam of the door and he blinked, only now noticing they were left alone in the garage, Hiro nowhere to be seen.

“Way to go, dumbass.” Go Go commented as she popped a balloon.

“What did I do?” Fred blinked. There was a collective slap as everyone else facepalmed.

Honey Lemon put on a determined face and followed the way the teen went. The others followed, saying their greetings to Aunt Cass on their way past, making a beeline towards the back and up to the living area. Hiro was, unsurprisingly, sitting by his desk, tapping furiously at his laptop.

“Hiro?” The ginger-haired woman softly spoke up. The said teen huffed in response.

“I though I made it clear I don’t want to talk about it.” He said angrily.

“She’s not letting this one go, so you might as well stop being stubborn.” Go Go crossed her arms and leaned over the doorframe, clearly making sure his only escape route is blocked.

“Hiro, please.” Honey Lemon kneeled down to find herself at his eye level. “We just want to help.”

“There is nothing any of us can do to help.” The teenager mumbled, looking away. “Besides, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. And you have every right to be upset.” The woman replied softly.

Hiro pointedly looked back at his laptop, attempting to ignore them. The redhead didn’t back out, however.

“We were all so caught up in how good Karmi’s story is that we failed to notice how upsetting it is for you. After all, it’s your hero persona she chose to pair herself with.” Honey Lemon spoke up. The tapping of the keyboard stopped, but the teen didn’t turn around yet. “And, knowing the characters are real, people started to assume the relationship is real, too. And that’s wrong. What Karmi is doing is wrong. You can’t just- what’s the word they use for saying two characters are in a romantic relationship...?”

“Ship.” Helpfully suggested Fred.

“Yes, thanks, Freddie.” Honey Lemon smiled thankfully and turned back to Hiro. “You can’t just ship two real people. It’s wrong. It shouldn’t be acceptable.”

“And yet I seem to be the only one who has problem with that.” The teen mumbled, his back still to his friends.

“I think it’s because the story is about our superhero personas.” Fred interjected and everyone, even Hiro, looked at him in confusion. “I mean, superheroes themselves feel like fictional characters. And, even though everyone knows we are real, it’s still hard to distinguish that if we’re also the characters in a work of fiction, which, by definition, means it’s not real. It creates somewhat a paradox and people just don’t completely realise the fiction part actually refers only to the story itself and not the characters.”

Everyone stared dumbfoundedly at the millionaire, who blinked and starred back.

“What?” He asked.

“We just didn’t expect you to say something so... thoughtful.” Wasabi finally said, the others nodding in agreement.

“Hey, I can act smart too, you know?” Fred argued and then promptly took out an unwrapped candy from his pocket, have it a testing lick, shrugged and put it in his mouth. Everyone shuddered.

“Aaaand the usual Fred is back.” Go Go commented while Wasabi tried to not puke.

“Even if what he said is true, it’s not like I can just go and tell her to stop.” Hiro picked up the conversation to take their minds of Fred and the candy. “What should I even say? Hey, Karmi, you know this story you write? You should stop because I don’t like you shipping yourself with this guy, whose name is definitely not Captain Cutie. Cool? Cool.”

Fred snorted but Go Go quickly elbowed him in the ribs to stop. Hiro groaned and hid his head between his arms. Honey Lemon approached the teen and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe not as Hiro you, but if you explained it as your superhero you?” She suggested, smiling encouragingly.

“I am not going to change into my armour just so I can talk to Karmi.” He replied sternly and sighed. “I just- gonna have to live with it... somehow...”

“If you have a problem with something or someone, you should speak up, genius.” Go Go said.

“Talking is the key to the healthy communication.” Baymax agreed.

“Ugh, fine.” Hiro said. “I’ll talk to her. If I see her on a patrol or something.”

“Hiro-“ Honey Lemon started to say but the robot cut her in.

“I’ve found a disturbing information in the local news. Playing it now.”

The screen on his chest turned on and a reporter appeared, speaking about some message being sent to their station this afternoon. The view changed, and they saw Momakase, grinning at the camera.

“Welcome, Big Hero 6.” She said, looking far too happy about something. “I advise you to come to the Akuma Island. And make haste, unless you want something bad happen to someone’s girlfriend.”

She smirked and stepped aside to show a chair. And on this chair, tied up and sputtering curses, was-

“Karmi!” Everyone, sans Hiro gasped.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Hiro shouted.

***

“Okay, we go in, take Momakase down, free Karmi and get out of here.” Hiro said as Baymax flew them towards the remote island. “Baymax, as soon as you are in range, scan the place for both Karmi and Momakase.”

The robot didn’t reply, but the teenager knew he acknowledged the order and will get to it whenever it’s possible.

“Oh, this gives the perfect opportunity for you to talk to Karmi about you-know-what.” Fred piped up from where he was held by the scruff of his costume in Baymax’s right hand.

“I’d rather focus on the current problem first.” Hiro mumbled back.

“I’m just saying.” The millionaire shrugged, but, luckily, dropped the subject.

Several minutes later, they were creeping the abandoned hallways of old Krei Enterprises facility, Baymax leading them in the direction he sensed Karmi from. Momakase, surprisingly, didn’t turn up on the scan.

“Karmi is inside.” Baymax said, stopping in front of the metal door.

Hiro nodded and looked to Wasabi and Honey Lemon, pointing his head towards the door. The woman tapped the keys on her purse and produced a green-coloured ball. She plastered it to the frame and pulled on one side, the goo expanding to create something like a line. Each one of them, except for Wasabi, caught the goo-line and held strong, while the said man cut through metal around where the goo was stuck. When the cut was finished, they pulled the piece out, managing to not hit it on anything, hence making their entrance silent.

Baymax put the cut-out metal aside and they climbed through the opening one by one. In the middle of the room, under a single spotlight, stood a chair. And on this chair, quite unsurprisingly, Hiro had to say, was Karmi, tied and gagged.

As soon as the teen noticed the heroes, she started to squirm and let out muffled noises, trying desperately to communicate with them. Hiro secretly turned on his voice-modulating device, motioning for the rest of the team to do the same, before approaching the captured girl. It was in situations like this, he was glad he once decided to equip their armours with both face-covering visors and voice modulators. It lowered the chance of being recognised if they had to be around people who knew them personally.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you out in no time.” He reassured Karmi and reached for her gag. As soon as it was off, Karmi gasped and screamed.

“It’s a trap!”

At this precise moment, purple-coloured bars rose from the floor and circled around the heroes and Karmi. They all whirled around, shocked by their sudden appearance.

“Like stealing a candy from a kid.” A familiar voice said from the shadows, and Momakase strolled into viee, a smirk on her lips.

“You think you can keep us in here?” Hiro asked and nodded at Wasabi.

Before going in, they decided they were not going to use their names around Karmi, since figuring out new nicknames would take too long, and Hiro was not going to use their fanfiction names, for obvious reasons. So they agreed on silent communication instead, which, so far, worked perfectly well.

Wasabi approached the bars and slashed at them with a cocky grin, but just as fast he jumped back with a pained yelp, when the bars zapped him.

“What in the world?!” He squeaked, rubbing at his arm.

“Did you really think I would use regular cage, knowing of your abilities?” Momakase laughed, strolling slowly along the bars. “You’re not getting out of this one.”

“Oh really?” Honey Lemon challenged and quickly produced a pink-coloured chem-ball from her purse. She let it drop to the floor and quickly side-stepped, as it bounced off the bars and hit the chair, acid eating through the wood.

“I told you it’s not a regular cage.” Momakase smirked and looked extremely pleased with herself. “This one was created by our mutual acquaintance specifically to hold you lot in place.”

“Mutual- what are you talking about?!” Hiro asked angrily.

“I believe he goes by the name Obake.” The woman replied and watched the heroes faces morph into horror as they recognised the name. “Well, anyway, it was nice to chat and all that, but I have to go. As for you...” She produced a small device from her pocket and pushed the button, the lights in the room suddenly turning red and the alarm ringing. “Have fun getting out of here before this whole place blows up.” She waved her hand at them and ran away, leaving them to their doom.

“Ohmigosh-! This place is going to blow up! We’re stuck in a impenetrable cage in a building that’s going to blow up any second now and-“ Wasabi spoke in a high voice, his eyes wide and breath hitching.

“Calm down.” Hiro said. “We’re getting out of here in no time.”

“How?!” Wasabi squeaked. “You saw what happened. My blades don’t work, and neither does the acid!”

“We just need more strength, that’s all.” The teen replied calmly and turned to Baymax. “Initiate Overdrive Mode.” He ordered.

At those words the robot started to change. Pieces of armour hid, others extended. A moment later, a completely unrecognisable Baymax, sans his colours, stood in front of the group.

“That’s... I wrote about it!” Karmi breathed out, astonished. “You read my story?!”

“Can we talk about it after we escape?” Hiro suggested, and Go Go noticed how he shuddered slightly at Karmi’s exclamation. “The sword, please.”

Baymax reached his had to his back and produced a heavy-looking blade. He took a swing and sliced right though the bars, Hiro grinning at the performance.

“Good job. Turn it off before it drains all of your power.” He said and Baymax swiftly came back to his original look. “Now everyone hop on and hold on tight. We don’t know how much time we have and I’d rather not risk running back the way we came from.”

One rocket fist later, they shot out of the roof. And not a moment too soon, as the facility blew up just as they managed to get to the safe distance. Baymax flew them back to the city and they all jumped off to the ground.

“Um... Thank you... For saving me.” Karmi mumbled, blushing as she took a glance at Hiro. The teen was painfully reminded she had a crush on his superhero persona.

“That’s what we do.” He replied, looking away. Honey Lemon came closer and gently nudged his shoulder, an encouraging smile on her lips. He sighed and turned towards Karmi. “Actually, there is something I want to tell you. It’s... it’s about your story.”

“My- YOU READ IT?!” The girl squealed, her eyes almost turning star-shaped.

“Of course, it’s amazing and-“ Fred was painfully elbowed in the stomach by Go Go before he could say anything more.

“I... How do I..?” Hiro scratched the back of his neck as he searched for words. “I read some of it, and you’re really talented but- I don’t really feel comfortable with it, you know?”

“I don’t understand...” Karmi cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Why?”

“It’s because of how you portray us. Portray me.” The teen elaborated. “I’m not- we’re not a pair, Karmi. I know it is a work of fiction and it’s not real, but writing that you are my girlfriend, having all those people read it... It’s not right.”

“Oh...” The girl looked down, suddenly not able to meet his eye. “I didn’t mean to-“

“I know.” He reassured. “I know you really want this to be true, but this is not the way. How would you feel if someone wrote a story about you and put you in a romantic relationship in said story? No matter if you like this person or not, it’s wrong to ship real life people.”

“I- I’m sorry.” Karmi said, still looking away. “I guess I was so caught up with my own fantasy, I didn’t stop to think how would you feel about it.”

“It’s alright.” Honey Lemon spoke up, smiling kindly. “You didn’t know.”

“But I should have thought about it. And I didn’t.” Karmi admitted. “I.. I will delete it once I get home. I’m sorry I upset you.”

“Thank you.” Hiro smiled thankfully at the girl. “And I meant it, you’re an amazing writer. Maybe you could still write about us, just no shipping this time.” He winked and Karmi blushed.

“You... still want me to write about you? Even after...?” She asked, puzzled by the suggestion.

“Between the two of us...” Hiro leaned closer and whispered to the girl’s ear. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else with our story.”

Karmi blushed fiercely, mumbled something that sounded like “thankyouihavetogonowbye” and ran away, her cheeks red. The heroes looked at her retreating figure.

“You didn’t mention the name.” Go Go pointed out as they started on their way back to Fred’s manor to leave their armours there.

“I can live with Captain Cutie.” Hiro shrugged with a smile.

---

That's it. I hope you liked it. Reblog if you did. I live for reblogs.

[jinterlude]

Grow a Pear

—Requested by @shadowsremedy: Seokjin + Kuroko’s Basketball + School Gym as part of @bangtan-headquarters​ Bangtan Anime Club Drabble Event!

—Pairing: Seokjin x Reader (Female OC) [feat. Seungcheol from SVT]

—Genre(s): Humor, Slight-Angst, & Slight-Fluff

—AUs/Tropes: Anime-verse, Kuroko’s Basketball!AU, High School!AU, Basketball Player!Seokjin, Basketball Club Manager!Reader, Opposites Attract Trope

—Warning(s) & Rating: Swearing, Reader threatening bodily harm onto Seokjin, Shameless flirting, & Jealousy from an old middle school rival / PG-15

—Word Count: 1.6K

—Summary: In which news of playing against a certain team sparks a rather interesting memory...

—A/N: This drabble is based on episodes 52 & 53 of KnB, but you do not have to watch the series to understand this story’s overall premise! It is also inspired by Kesha’s song “Grow a Pear” (hence the title LOL) because I immediately think of Kise’s character. Since Seokjin reminds me of that 2D pretty boy, I decided to write a fun story! 

“Hey, ___!” 

A faint hum exits your lips as your eyes remain fixated on your player statistics book. You flip between a few pages with the gears in your brain working in overdrive, almost forgetting for a split moment that Kaijo’s basketball captain asked for your attention. 

“Yes, Sungwon?” You reply, closing the book and tucking it underneath your arm. 

Pursing his lips, Sungwon strides over to you, leaning against the stage inside the gym. Don’t you love playing inside an auditorium? 

“So…” He begins but grows silent. How on Earth is he supposed to ask you to be the sacrificial lamb? How will he tell you that you’ve been chosen to say the team’s resident narcissist yet talented prodigy that Kaijo will play against Fukuda Sugo? Specifically, they’re playing against a certain someone with a rather colorful history with yourself and said prodigy. 

Tiny creases form on your forehead as your brows knit together. You know that carefree look anywhere. More often than not, you become chosen to do a specific task that no other teammate wants to do—talking to Kim Seokjin. 

“Now, before you say no—”

“Nope.”  

“You didn’t even hear what I have to say.” 

“Doesn’t matter. My answer is still the same. No.” 

With that, you turn on your heel, and not even a few steps in, you bump into the one person you don’t want to see. 

“Princess!”

And to think…

You were having such a fantastic day…

“What do you want, Seokjin?” You question, grabbing the statistics book from your underarm and flipping it open to some random page. You already have the data mesmerized like the back of your hand. You just want to appear busy in front of the arrogant pretty boy. 

“Well, besides you finally acknowledging that you’re my girlfriend? A little bird told me that we’re playing against his team in the Quarterfinals,” Seokjin replies, his tone dropping near the end. This serious expression slowly takes over his handsome features, almost sending shivers down your spine. 

If looks can kill, then Seokjin is guilty of murder in the first degree...

Thank God he chose to attend a different school. Who knows what will happen if two people who absolutely despise each other play on the same team. 

“Remind me to thank Namjoon for that…” You mutter, slightly shaking your head as you slowly draw in your breath. Then, a force, light chuckle escapes your lips, personally finding it rather humorous of the current situation. 

“Anyway, so how are you feeling about playing against the dude who has a thing for your sloppy seconds?” You tease, attempting to lighten up the situation. 

Seokjin’s brow perks up, “Sloppy seconds?” he repeats, a tiny grin form on his handsome face. 

You nod, “Well yeah...I mean, he did steal your ex-girlfriend from you.” 

In response, the arrogant basketball player hums. However, this exciting gleam enters the corners of his eyes. 

What is he thinking now? 

Suddenly, he turns to you, his gaze piercing into yours with this unexplainable emotion glazing over his eyes. 

“Oh? I mean, he did come close to stealing you away from me that one day.” He states as this bright smile dances across his gorgeous face. 

For a split second, your cheeks become hot. Your heart practically drums against your chest. Shit. Even your palms clam up, sticking to the cover of the player statistics book. 

What is this feeling? 

Then, it dawns on you. This nervousness is the same emotion you felt when you comforted Seokjin that fateful day—well, supported him in your own unique way…

Tapping your pencil against your chin, a soft growl emits from your lips as you try to figure out the best course of action. The Captain, Kim Namjoon, previously asked you to develop a plan to preserve the Generation of Miracle’s stamina, specifically when using their rather unique talents. At first, you thought Namjoon was flat out insane for asking such a request. Like, you’d have to take into account their height and weight difference. Oh! You couldn’t forget that you also keep in mind their current talent levels. All while these calculations occur during an official game with another team.

Yeah...

Namjoon might as well tell you to put on a fucking jersey while he’s at it. 

Rubbing the sides of your forehead, you can’t help but let out a long, harsh breath as this throbbing sensation enters the left side of your head. 

“Hey, manager ___.” You hear a familiar voice, interrupting your rather irritating calculations. You look up from the tiny pile of scattered papers containing player statistics. However, you don’t bother spouting words towards the overly cocky player. Instead, you merely hum in response, unknowingly irking the basketball player. 

Plastering on a smug grin, the person leans against the stage, quickly glancing at what you’re doing. 

“So, is that the special project Namjoon asked you to do for him?” The arrogant male student asks. 

“Yep, and shouldn’t you be practicing Seungcheol?” You question back, raising a brow. 

Seungcheol scoffs lightly, “Why? I mean, I already earned a permanent spot on the regular team, so…” He trails on, chuckling to himself. He finds the mere thought of his spot being taken away quite humorous. 

You mentally roll your eyes. God, you don’t know who’s the bigger arrogant fool. Him or—

“Yo, Seokjin!” shouts Jungkook, running up to the new recruit. 

Ah, Kim Seokjin. He recently joined the basketball club just a few months ago. He’s already showing promise despite being a second-year student. Shit. Seokjin’s talents have rapidly progressed to the point that Namjoon took notice of him and was promoted to first-string just last week. 

Yet, you can’t quite put your finger on it, but something is holding Seokjin back. 

But what? 

Before you become entirely lost in your thoughts, you hear Seungcheol’s arrogant voice taunt Seokjin. 

Oh, great…

You swiftly stand up from your seat and rush over to the argumentative duo. But as you draw near to the quarrelsome pair, you instantly halt. What is this intense atmosphere lingering in the air? 

And why do you suddenly feel something other than agitation towards Seokjin? 

“W-what did you say?” 

“You heard me, Kim Seokjin. Whoever wins our 1v1 match earns the right to call ___ his girlfriend.” 

“Hold on. You can’t just call dibs on ___!” shouts Jungkook in complete and utter shock. 

Instantly slapping yourself back, in reality, you snatch a basketball from an innocent player and roughly throw it at Seungcheol, anger visible all over your face. 

Sadly for you, the annoying prick catches it with ease, smirking at you. 

“What’s the matter, babe? You don’t believe that I can put Seokjin in his place?” He coos, further taunting Seokjin. What sets the handsome prodigy over the edge is when Seungcheol abruptly pulls you against his chest, dropping the basketball in the process. His cheek brushes against yours, making you want to gag. 

Just as you’re about to violently elbow him in the stomach, Seokjin shoves Seungcheol away before forcefully throwing the discarded ball at him. 

“You start.” 

“This should be fun.” 

But it was just the opposite... 

It was a complete slaughter with Seokjin on his hands and knees, panting and sweating profusely. His eyes widened from the shock of his defeat. 

Not only has he lost horribly against Seungcheol, but he also lost you—or so he believes. 

“So, how about that date, baby girl? After all, you’re now my girlfriend.” Seungcheol asks, making sure that Seokjin can hear him. 

“Yeah, I don’t date dudes who have a thing for other fellas’ sloppy seconds.” You bluntly state, turning towards Yoongi and Jungkook, “I mean, first it was Yerin, right? The one that was going around the entire fucking school saying that she was Seokjin’s girlfriend. Oh, I feel sorry for her since it was just last week, you were chasing after her, and now you’re after me.” You say, clicking your tongue in fake disappointment. 

Seungcheol’s arrogant smile vanishes and is now replaced with a scowl. 

“Let me ask you this, why are you obsessed with Seokjin’s sloppy seconds? Like there are a million girls in this damn school who, oddly enough, would love to be your arm candy. Yet you go after the ones that either show interest in Seokjin or who Seokjin’s interested in. Like, dude. Stop. It’s honestly creepy to the point that I firmly believe you have a weird obsession with him.” You finish as you walk over to Seokjin, offering him a helping hand. 

Seokjin faintly smiles, grabbing your hand, as he pulls himself up. Soon, his smile becomes bright. His sweet smile almost blinds you—and makes your heart skip a beat. 

“I knew you had a soft spot for me, ___.” 

“Don’t push it, Jinnie boy.” 

Softly shaking your head, you playfully shove Seokjin, snapping him out of his thoughts. You then jump down from the stage, having popped yourself up there moments earlier. 

“Well, all I have to say is that Seungcheol better watch out. He hasn’t seen your ‘Perfect Copy’ in action yet.” You warmly smile as you make your way towards the exit but soon halt. You glance over your shoulder, maintaining that sweet smile, and say,

“Besides, he’s no match for you with your girlfriend cheering you on from the bench.”

“Right…” He mumbles, totally ignoring your words. Then, it hits him as if someone doused him with cold water. 

“Wait! Did you just call yourself my girlfriend?!!” Seokjin hollers, chasing after you. 

“I don’t know. Win tomorrow’s match, and I’ll let you know.”

“Oh, that’s cruel, princess…”

Grow a Pear is copyright 2021 by jinterlude, all rights reserved.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

caryl first date headcanon

i wrote a stream of consciousness caryl headcanon i was thinking about when i couldn’t sleep last night. no i did not proofread it. yes it is rambling nonsense. yes you can read it if you want: 

so i genuinely don’t know what the timeline for canon is gonna be now that we got bottle episodes, s11, and the spin-off, but just for a moment let us pretend that it happens during the bottle episodes and then we have all of s11 to watch caryl trying to figure out how to navigate a relationship with each other

cuz like, they gon fuck right away, bc things are gonna get heated, and tensions are gonna be high, and they’re gonna snap like a trip wire and fucking ravish each other, that’s without question

so the first little while of their relationship will be mostly getting intimately familiar with each other’s bodies down to every last freckle

but once they’ve simmered down some they’re gonna need to address the “oh shit, wait, how does a relationship work?” problem

cue: caryl’s first date

it’ll take place in commonwealth, and i’ve never read the comics and i know jack all about it outside of what i’ve skimmed, but we’re gonna ignore that for the sake of my fun post

i know enough about it to know that there are definitely places to have a date

daryl knows this too, tho he doesn’t rly think about it right away. at first he’s more confused and sort of standoffish about the whole place, bc he was always a forest-dweller even before the apocalypse, so seeing this new metropolis-like place after years of living like a gd pioneer is gonna throw him way off kilter

right up until he’s chillin’ with judith and she’s talking about how she’s excited to see her first concert, and they have restaurants, and things she’s only ever read about, and then out of nowhere she’ll pull out, “are you gonna take aunt carol on a date?” 

and daryl will stare at her

and she’ll be like “rosita was telling me about how father gabriel took her on a real date and how nice it was. you should do that for aunt carol” 

and daryl will stare at her

and then will hastily change the subject (she’ll see right through him, ofc, but she’ll let it slide)

but the thought will stick with him, and suddenly he’s looking at the schedule of upcoming concerts and plays and wondering if carol would care about any of it. does she like shakespeare? the most experience he would have had with shakespeare was ripping out a couple pages of his school copy of romeo and juliet to use to light some firewood

but maybe she’s into it???

eventually he’ll reach the inevitable conclusion that the only way this is going to work is if he actually asks her to go on a date with him, which should be easy, right? like, he was ball’s deep inside her last night and told her good morning by putting his face between his legs, so surely asking someone on a date is simple

it will not be simple

bc yeah, they fuck all the time, and obviously they’re head-over-heels in love with each other, they’re each other’s soulmates, yada yada, but also daryl’s extremely emotionally repressed and has the romance skills of a fifteen year old having his mom drive him and his date to his first homecoming dance, only worse bc he never even went to any school dances

but after Dwelling On It for ages he’ll finally get fed up with himself and will vow to stop being a pussy. he’ll ask her before the day’s over or he’ll shoot a bolt into his own foot, ok, no more excuses

so the whole day he’s jittery af

you’d think he’s trying to pop the question, but all he wants to do is go eat dinner with carol and then watch some people recite lines from a play written hundreds of years ago, like, what is his Deal(tm)??? 

(his deal is, ofc, that he waited so long to have her, and now every new thing feels tenuous, bc he’d rather die than lose her, and sure she knows him better than anyone, but never in this context, and plus her last dude basically bled passion and romance no matter how obnoxious, and what if she realizes just how fucking clueless he is and decides she doesn’t really want to be with a middle-aged man who still gets tongue-tied around a pretty girl?)

(but also she deserves a gd date, alright? she deserves it, and so he’s going to give it to her, even if going face-to-face with a walker horde is less intimidating)

carol notices something’s off with him right away, but she waits until after dinner, when the kids have gone to their rooms and the two of them are alone washing dishes to ask, “hey, so what the fuck?” 

and daryl will be like, k, it’s now or never

and he will 100% make a fool of himself by stumbling alllll over his words, like, “nothin’s wrong, i’m fine, everythin’s real fine, i was just wonderin’ if mb you’d wanna, y’know, i dunno, they got all these shows and shit that we ain’t had in forever and i didn’t know if mb you’d wanna go see one? and mb get some food? with me, i mean. like, together. like i’d take you there and we could do those things, like a, you know, a date. but it’s cool if not, no worries, i get it if it’s not your thing, but i just thought i’d ask, but no, you’re right, it’s stupid, forget i said anythin’, hey look at the time, well i’m beat, gonna go to sleep now, goodbye”

and carol will go, “hold up”

and she’ll take daryl by the wrist before he can flee the room (bc he definitely intends to), and pulls him close and kisses him all sweet, and she’s gotta stand on her tiptoes to do it bc she’s in a pair of knit socks and he’s got his boots on so there’s more of a height difference than usual, and after she’s successfully managed to keep daryl from falling straight into a panic spiral, she’ll whisper, “i’d love to, let’s go this weekend”

and then she’ll just turn back to doing dishes without another word on the matter 

(bc, as previously stated, she knows daryl better than anyone, and she knows exactly what all his insecurities are and how much it must have taken him to ask her that, and so she’s not gonna harp on it or tease him)

(daryl recognizes this and loves her desperately for it)

the actual date is way easier than daryl expected

bc he spent all this time hyping it up, but when it comes right down to it, he just gets to spend a night with carol where they don’t have the kids to worry about, or any council business, and they just get to enjoy each other’s company

she even dressed up a little for him, which was unnecessary, but he most certainly appreciates it and can’t wait to tear the outfit off of her later

(it does make him regret the fact that he’s only had one pair of pants for the past ten years, but she doesn’t seem to mind)

they end up seeing a shakespeare play

daryl understands like 2% at best, but carol holds his hand and rests her head on his shoulder the whole time, and apparently it’s a comedy bc she laughs a lot, and that alone makes it worth it

they fuck like crazy when they get home, obviously

but it’s different than it had been previously, bc now their “togetherness” seems more solidified

like, they’re officially a “couple” now

like the type of couple that gets a babysitter for the night so they can go to the apocalyptic version of dinner and a movie together and then have sex and then fall asleep right afterwards bc they’re domestic af

and like, deep down both of them knows that this isn’t the life that they’re meant to live in forever, a la commonwealth/domestic bliss, and he wasn’t kidding when he told her new mexico was still out there, and he can feel a shift coming sooner rather than later

but he also knows they’ll be together when it happens, and they’ll figure out their own version of “date night” when they’re out exploring

but for now he’s content to do it the old fashioned way, though

when she falls asleep on his chest that night he rubs her back and kisses the top of her head, and he’s already planning their next night out

he might pick a show with modern english, though

but it’s not required

just so long as they’re together

the end 

[caps-lockdown]

3 AM

Hello lovelies here is my entry for @justkendings 1K challenge! If ya’ll couldn’t tell I’m trying to branch out and try some writing challenges this year.

Prompts were “Dude. It’s 3 in the morning.” and “I don’t suppose you’ve got a blowtorch around here?”

Thoughts are in italics. It’s also my first time writing a complete AU so be kind. Alright here we go!

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader Modern Neighbor AU

Words: 6,310 HOLY CRIPES THIS GOT AWAY FROM ME

Warnings: Swear words, booze and tons of fluff. Some crude humor. Tony, Bucky, and Sam being impatient and grumpy.

Summary: You’re a Nanny by day and a diner waitress by night. Steve is a first responder who gets off late. You both live in the same apartment building. Insert cavity inducing meet cute here.

It’s in Y/N Y/L/N format. I own nothing but my mistakes/no beta.

A/N: I imagined this like an episode of Friends, so I took a couple of lines from the show as little Easter Eggs, lemme know if you find them. And also know I don’t own friends but I’m super obsessed and what can I say? No one told me life was gonna be this way.

Enjoy!

Saturday, 3 AM

You were certain you were going to fall asleep standing up. The elevator creaked to a stop on the 23rd floor of your apartment building and you zombie dragged your body down the hall. 1-A and screaming kids? Nope. Five-B complete with another wannabe Broadway superstar warming up their vocals to Britney Spears? You live in New York city. There’s one on every floor. You looked across the hallway when you reached your door at 3-C where 7-D sat. You’ve lived here for almost two years and have never met the inhabitants of the two bedroom across from your two bedroom. Not that you had tons of time. You were a Nanny during the day most days, and on nights like tonight you worked at a Diner.

Almost there. You could hear the siren call of your bed, a tired smile at the thought of a hot shower for your screaming feet spreading across your face as you lazily jammed your key ring into the door. You glanced at your wrist watch.

2:50 AM

Your shift at the diner aptly named “The Night Owl” had run a tad bit on the long side tonight, a gaggle of high school theater kids flooding your tables at the tail end of your shift. They were riding the high of their opening night of “Footloose”, demanding cheese fries, milkshakes, and whatever amount of Marge’s meatloaf was remaining from the day. You brushed off a piece of the aforementioned dinner special from your apron, slowly pushing the door open. Not that your attempt to be quiet did any good, the tell tale squeaking of the ancient hinges announcing your nearly KO’d arrival.

Sam was in the living room in less than a minute after you shut the door, a slightly grumpy look on his face.

“Long night?”

“Almost thirty teenagers Sam,” You fell into the overstuffed recliner, reaching to take off your sneakers when there was a soft knock at your door. “Shit, I hope I didn’t wake the neighbors.”

“Relax Y/N, I got this.” Sam walked his own groggy body to the door, looking into the peephole before shaking his head and opening the door with another loud squeak.

You leaned to catch a sight of the person, your heart momentarily stopping as your gaze fell upon the most perfect looking man you had ever seen. Please let him be a neighbor.

Blonde hair sat messily atop his head, still slightly damp from a shower that you no doubt wished you could have been a fly on a wall for. If the tight blue t-shirt that was one flex away from ripping off this walking Adonis was any indication, you would have happily offered to hold the loofa for him too.

“I am so sorry to bother you at this hour. I live right across the hall, in 7-D and I was wondering if I could borrow a cup and a half of sugar from you?”

Sam stared at him, his face void of any emotion. “Sugar? Seriously?”

“Yea you see it’s a coworker, a friend really, birthday tomorrow and I said I would make a cake for him, but ah…I forgot to buy sugar before my shift. I’m a first responder and so when I got off work everything was closed. So you see I heard your door open and thought if I could ask you before you went to bed then I had a decent chance.”

Sam’s face remained stoic. “Dude. It’s 3 in the morning.”

“Actually it’s 2:58,” You replied coolly, pulling your roommate back and replacing him. “A cup and a half of sugar is no problem at all. Give us two shakes, k?”

“Thank you SO much,” The tall drink of water gushed, you giving him a small and peppy “No problem!” before making your way to your kitchen. You always managed to keep extra essentials in the pantry, your fingers easily finding your spare bag of sugar, taking note of the half full open one. “Go back to bed Sam, I’ll handle it.”

“Be careful Y/N, I’ve seen this horror movie before.” Sam warned with a wary look at the man before walking into his room and shutting the door with a THUD.

You handed the full bag of sugar to the man, enjoying the warmth from his hands as they brushed yours. “Sorry about him, it’s way past his bedtime.”

“Your boyfriend was right to be grumpy. It’s stupid early.” You chuckled, “What? Did I say something funny?”

“Sam isn’t my boyfriend, he’s my roommate. Truth be told most of the time I want to kill him. I imagine that would be multiplied ten-fold if we were actually dating.”

“I understand.” He shuffled his slipper clad feet on the floor for a moment before snapping his eyes to yours. “Uh thanks for the…the sugar. I only needed…”

“We have plenty, and I hate measuring things at 3 in the morning.”

“Actually it’s, “He checked his cell phone, “3:14”

Cheeky. “Then you better get to baking that cake then huh?” You smiled at his flustered appearance when he hastily nodded,

“Right, thanks again!”He turned to walk into his own open doorway. A dark haired man with a goatee you hadn’t noticed before stood in a gold and red bathrobe, trying to get a look at you around his brick shithouse built dwelling mate. Probably his partner. Damn it all. You shut the door with a defeated sigh. Figures.

The door to Steve and Tony’s apartment had the terrible habit of slamming shut, the hinges like its neighbor shot but in different ways. This morning was no different. SLAM

Steve nodded to his roommate after throwing the lock.

“Who’s the babe?” Tony asked, mischief floating in his eyes as Steve fought the urge to roll his own into the back of his head.

“Obviously our neighbor Tony. She was kind enough to lend me some sugar to bake Bucky’s cake.” He held up the bag for emphasis. “See?”

“Well shit Steve if you just wanted some sugar all you had to do was ask…” Steve fake gagged as he walked past his roommate, the older man throwing his hand to his chest in mock hurt. “What I just don’t do it for you anymore? You gotta go get your sugar from other women now? Am I not enough?!”

“There is too much to unpack there Ton, so please, for the love of everything holy, just go to bed.”

“Fine. But don’t expect me to wait up for your cheatin ass!”Steve pinched the bridge of his nose as Tony swayed his hips back into his room, “Next time ya see her, get her number for me?”

“Fat chance asshole, I saw her first.” Steve waved off his roommate sticking out his tongue before Tony shut the door, shaking his head and redirecting his focus to the task at hand.

It was going to be a long morning.

Saturday, 1 PM

“RISE AND SHINE YOU BEAUTIFUL MESS!”

You groaned, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you sat up in the living room. How had you fallen asleep on the couch? And when did you fall asleep on the couch? You reached for the outstretched coffee cup Sam handed you, the hot green tea sloshing in its container as you brought it to your mouth. “I see you watched the season finale of QVC. Worth the hype?”

Your middle finger was met with a pained expression, “Oh Y/N, that is obscenely un-ladylike. What would your poor mother think?”

“Well she’s been dead seventeen years Sam, so I imagine not a thing.” You smiled tightlipped at your roommate who shook his head.

“Ya always gotta play the dead mom card?”

“Hmm that depends,” You spoke to the screen in front of you, “You gonna keep wearing too tight tee shirts and pants in a last ditch effort to get a girlfriend?”

“You wound me my lady. You cut me so deep just now.”

“Whatever, don’t you have work?” Your eyebrow raised when he shook his head.

“Nah foreman gave us the weekend off since we’re ahead of schedule. Don’t you got the kids today? Or the Owl?”

“Nope I don’t got either til Monday. I’m taking the kids to the Zoo when they get back from their family reunion.” You chuckled into your cup, “I’ve actually missed the little fuckers.”

“Well you have been their nanny for the last three years. What’re ya gonna do when they’re grown?”

“Sidney isn’t even in middle school yet Sam cut me a break. I got another four years, easy.”

 “Well what should we do with our new free time?”

“How about we go to the park? Grab some lunch, enjoy the sunshine. Tonight we can binge Golden Girls and drink way too much wine and order take out? My treat?” Sam seemed to ponder for a minute before nodding,

“For once you actually know what you want so who am I to say no?” You threw a pillow at him from the couch which he dodged with ease.

“Gotta be faster than…”

The second pillow didn’t miss as you squealed and ran to your room to get ready.

~~Meanwhile in 7-D~~

“No…too corny…no….not corny enough…”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, a pile of sticky notes in a crumbled heap next to his desk. Writing a simple thank you note to your neighbor shouldn’t be this hard. It wouldn’t be, if you hadn’t been so incredibly attractive that he forgot to human. He never even introduced himself! He didn’t even ask your name! Tony said to cut himself some slack because it had been so early but Steve’s ma would hang him out to dry if she knew he had been knocking on some beautiful woman’s door at 3am.

He needed a nap.

The cake was baked and already frosted, sitting pretty ready for the big night tonight. He had used some of the sugar to make a nice coffee butter cream to ice the dark chocolate cake. Steve was super thankful you had given him the whole bag, or else Bucky would have gotten an unfrosted, sad cake. That would have definitely demoted him from “Best friend status”.

As if on cue his phone vibrated with a text message from his now a year older friend in a group chat for tonight.

Get some sleep old man, we got a long night tonight. –B

Yea yea I’m goin, sucks I have to sleep during this beautiful day though –S

This weather is freaking weird. Nearly sixty in MARCH? –B

Yea and global warming isn’t real. >.> –T

On that note I’m passing out, still on for 7?-S

Yep-B

Correct, sleep well boo thang! See you soon! Have sweet dreams of me! XoXo-T

How can I when you’re a living nightmare?-S

Steve rubbed his eyes, slapping his last written sticky note on the new bag of sugar before going to his room and passing out for a few hours.

Saturday, 6:30 PM

You and Sam had a lovely time walking central park, stopping at your favorite pizza place for lunch and just spending time catching up. You’ve been best friends since high school, and with both of you being on such odd hours most days it had become pretty difficult to enjoy the moments in between. The two of you were laughing your asses off as you made your way to your door, six bottles of wine swinging in bags at your sides.

Tonight was going to be exactly what you both needed.

Sam looked down when you nearly tripped over a block on something outside your door, “What the hell?”

You lowered yours to the floor, where a new bag of sugar sat, along with an attached sticky note. Thanks again for the sugar, Sugar.  The cake is sure to be a big hit. -Steve

You beamed as Sam reached down to pick it off the floor. “Looks like 7-D has got a sweet spot for you.”

“Oh Sam shaddup.” You groaned, shutting the door behind him. “He’s just being nice.”

“Yea sure, you gonna ask mister Sweet tooth out?”

“We both know I never will Sam, I’m too nervous about that kind of thing.” A defeated sigh left you as you sat back down on the couch and began setting up for the evening, “’sides, I think he’s batting for the same team. A very handsome man was waiting for him this morning.”

“Oh honey I’m sorry but there is a chance he’s like a screen door in a hurricane?” You tilted your head in confusion when he grinned, “Swings both ways? He assumed we were dating, so why should you assume they are?”

“Because they’d be the cutest couple in the whole damn building?” You laughed bitterly, setting the remote down on the table while the opening credits started playing. “Now will you call out for Thai already? All the wine shopping made me a starving Marvin.”

“You got it dude!” Sam agreed, hopping over the couch with a loud “WOOHOO” and landing next to you, picking up one of the many take out menus on the coffee table. “Usual spot or we looking to be adventurous this evening?”

“I so don’t have the strength for new tonight Sam, you know what I like.”

Sam saluted you before pulling out his phone, you turning down the volume as he ordered food.

Yea, exactly what you needed.

Sunday, 3 AM

“Sam….Sammy….” You whined, holding the broken corkscrew in a tipsy sadness. This was my favorite wine opener.

“Aww man, that was my favorite wine opener!” Sam echoed your thoughts, both of you giving your old friend a moment of silence before you ceremoniously dropped it into the trashcan.

“Our only wine opener.” You said with a sigh. Sam followed suit.

“What now? We still have two bottles to go through!”

Your eyes widened at your bright idea, rushing for the door as fast as your wine-soaked body could carry you and throwing the door open. You winced at the loud creak, hoping one day you’d remember to WD-40 the hinges. Your smile dropped when no one answered the door across the hall, turning back to Sam with a disappointed shrug. “No one home. I guess we’ll have to quit while we’re ahead.”

“That’s quittin talk!” Sam slurred, using the doorframe as a post, drifting off into thought as to how you could obtain a new corkscrew at this hour.

That’s when you heard it. An obnoxious laugh flooding the hall from the elevator, followed by loud, fumbling footsteps and a lot of cuss words.

“Jesus…Bucky…You’re such a damn lightweight anymore…What…what happened to you?” You recognized the brunette from earlier this morning, the blond god helping him hold up a dark haired man as they made their way towards their door. “Oh great and now the hot girl in 3-C is standing outside our door and we look like shit. Thanks Barnes.”

You took in their scraped and slightly bloodied appearance with a shocked expression, Sam wrinkling his nose at the smell of blood. “You guys look terrible. Rough night?”

The other half of 7-D winced when you stared at him, “We’ve been in worse scraps than this. But yeah, wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.” He gave you a soft, split lip smile. “What can I do for you beautiful?”

Your face burned up at the compliment, although you were positive the wine wasn’t helping matters. “Do….dddo you have a corkscrew? Ours broke.” You stammered, and followed it with a “What happened to you three?”

“Oh you know how birthdays parties and booze go.” Steve gave massive side eye to the man in the middle, “Someone didn’t want to share his cake I made him, sadly the rest is history.”

The drunk man in question had the good sense to look somewhat guilty as he sloppily threw his head up to look at the man, “JAMES DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!” He affirmed in a loud voice before dragging his gaze to you, his eyes widening in surprise. “Damn you…you weren’kidding Steve….she IS a babe.” The man attempted to wink at you with a black eye, you shaking your head at the absurdity of it all. “My….my name’s James but everyonecallsme Bucky. But you….you can callmewhatever you want sweets….”

“Alright Pal, let’s get your dumbass inside.” Steve gritted out with a clenched jaw as you darted out of the way. “And we got a couple corkscrews, so you can borrow one, no problem.”

“I got a screw she can have…” Tony muttered, barely missing 7-D’s free arm, letting go of Barnes in the process. He landed face first on the floor with a wham.

”YoU….YOu…ASShole!” Bucky spat angrily into the floor, trying in vain to pick himself up, “What…whatthefuck did I EVER do to you?!”

Tony scoffed, “Please, you want the short list or the long list?”

Laughter bubbled out of you and Sam while the blond quickly went into the kitchen and dug through drawers. He was back in a flash, holding out a wine opener that looked…

“That’s the same one we had!” You laughed, taking it from him while running your fingers over his as he released it with a small shudder. “You’re a life saver Steve!”

“I do what I can,” He replied with a chuckle.

“Hereally is a… lifesaver sweet thang.” Bucky said and you looked down to see he had managed to roll himself over in his inebriated state, staring at the two of you with a dreamy expression, “You two….wouldmakegreatlooking babies.”

“And I think that’s our cue.” Sam said with a tight lipped smile. “Thanks again dude, we’ll get this back to you ASAP.” You didn’t hold back your disappointment when the blond nodded.

“Take your time, and don’t mention it.” He looked at you, blue eyes making you want to drown in them, “Have a good night 3-C.”

“You…you too Steve.” You managed to get out before being dragged out of the doorway by your roommate. You stared at him when he shut the door and threw the lock, walking over to the unopened bottle with newfound purpose. “What the hell was that about?” You jumped slightly when the door across the hall slammed shut.

“They were making me nervous Y/N, I don’t like the way they all talked to you.”

“Steve isn’t like the others Sam, you need to stop being so overprotective.”

“That Bucky dude was one sentence away from getting a second black eye.”

“You’re a big baby. Now get to pouring that wine! I gotta see what Dorothy was going to say to Blanche!”

“Yes ma’am.” Sam rolled his eyes before uncorking the bottle. “Anything else ma’am?”

You had already hit resume on the t.v, grabbing a handful of stale popcorn and throwing most of it in your mouth, making a face at the pieces that fell to the floor. You wasted no time snatching the glass from him before the two of you sat on the couch, continuing your binge.

~~Meanwhile~~

“You NEED to ask her out Stevie!” Tony whined, holding the ice pack to his head. Steve shook his head, throwing Bucky a bag of frozen peas. Which he didn’t catch. Steve should have figured as much.

“I don’t NEED to do anything Tony. So shaddup already.” He warned, Bucky cocking his head in confusion.

“Why not? You said she ain’t dating her roomie right?”

“Doesn’t mean she ain’t seeing anyone else.” He admonished, getting really tired of his friends poking their noses into his personal life. Again

“What do you have to lose if she is? She’s insanely hot dude, at least get on a first name basis with her!”

He still hadn’t gotten your name. Shit.

“Alright mister Casanova, and just how do you suggest I do that?”

“Go ask to borrow something.” Bucky suggested, a little more sober than he had been a couple hours ago. Which wasn’t much, but any progress is progress.

Steve pulled a face, “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot.” He smiled brightly, standing to stretch and accidentally knocking off the hideous “Better latte than never” coffee mug Steve had been too nice to throw away. He had gotten it as a gift, the eyesore coming from a female patient whose life he had saved a couple years ago. It was a nice thought, but the bright green and hot pink polka dots weren’t really his thing. “Oh no! Whatever shall we do!”

“You dick!” Tony glared, pointing to the shards of ceramic that littered the cheap hardwood floors, “We haven’t bought a new dustpan yet!”

Bucky tapped his temple, pointing to the door. “Looks like you’ll have to ask the hot neighbor.”

Steve checked his phone. 4:30 AM “No way, it’s too fucking early.”

“They still might be up.” Bucky shrugged, padding his way to the door and opening it with a dramatic flourish. He cupped his ear, leaning into the hallway. Steve heard your giggle fit from the other side of the hall, small smile creeping its way over his lips. How Fortuitous. “Could I be anymore right?”

“Alright you win this round.” Steve wiped his face with his arm, careful to avoid his split lip as he walked into the hall, but not before hip checking Bucky. “Jesus I hope she doesn’t think I’m a creep.”

He lightly knocked, hearing a small yelp on the other side followed by a gruff “I swear if it’s 7-D again I’m gonna…”

“Lay off him Sam, he’s hot and has been nothing but sweet. You rather it be the bitchy land…”

Steve jumped back when you pulled the door open, having a bit of difficulty with the new amount of wine you’ve consumed and hanging onto it as the SQQQQUUUUUEAAAK made you wince. You really needed to get that fixed. “Steve, hi…your ears burning? We were just talking about you!”

Apparently you couldn’t whisper when you were drunk. Steve found it adorable.

“No I uh, didn’t hear a thing. I got a weird question.”

“I got a weird answer.” You deadpanned, right before erupting into a fit of giggles. “Shoot”

“You got a dustpan? Bucky broke a mug and we haven’t had a chance to get a new one since the stove incident a few months back.”

You stared at him, eyes wide. “How do you leave a dustpan on a stove?”

“Hangover Breakfast.”

“Ah. Say no more. You wanna step in for a sec?”

“Uh yea, sure.” Steve stepped into your space and immediately felt like he was home. All of the décor on the walls, the perfectly coordinated knick knacks. Hell even your curtains matched.  It was an elegant take on pastels and spring themes. A lovely antique bird cage with flowers hung in the window. Stunning shades of blues and purples covered the furniture and windows, offsetting the gray colors of the couch, chair and tables. “Your space is amazing.”

“Thanks, it’s all Y/N and her HGTV obsession. Thankfully it’s all seasonal.” Sam laughed, emptying his glass. “You want a glass of wine while you wait? She usually doesn’t take long but we’ve had quite a bit to drink and right now I’d bet money she forgot which closet it’s in. We only have the one but her drunk brain sucks ass.” As if on cue the two men twisted their heads at the sound of you clamoring through the small closet.

“Nah I’ll pass. I’ve had more than enough for tonight. Thanks though.”

“I FOUND IT!” You emerged from the depths of Narnia, hair a mess and shirt rumpled holding a bright pink dustpan. The guys won’t him live that down, he could already hear them now. As if reading his thoughts you offered an apologetic smile, “Sorry bout the color.”

“It’s fine, you’re an absolute angel. Thank you.”

“Hey anytime, you’re quitelovelytolookat.” You got out in one long breath, eyes wide as you hoped he didn’t catch all of that. Wine made your sober thoughts flow out of your mouth a lot easier, which was always embarrassing.

“You’re quite attractive too Y/N.” Your eyes remained wide as you stared in panic.

“How did you…”

“Easy there no need to freak out, I’m not a stalker.” Steve chuckled, throwing his now dustpan clad hands in defense. “Sam told me. Like two minutes ago.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, Sam rolling his eyes. This was so cute he wanted to puke. “Well I should get back to the guys before they figure out a way to burn the building down.”

“Right…” You gave a half smile, careful to get a good eyeful of his perfect ass as he left. The door shut with a loud creak. “He’s really cute Sam.” Sam made a face when his door slammed.

“Then do what NORMAL people do and, “He gripped your shoulders, giggles falling out of you as he gently shook you with every word, “Ask. Him out!”

“I barely know him Sam.”

“That what dates are for. Although with your track record you might as well just ask to borrow something after an hour. “

And with Sam’s brilliant idea lodged in your head you decided to do just that.

5:30 AM

Crreeeeeak

Your slightly less than sober self tiptoed into the hall, attempting to listen to the guys arguing over movies before knocking on the door. Steve answered the door in record time.

“Whatcha need Sweetheart?”

“You got any extra bags of popcorn? We’re out.”

“Sure thing, hang on.” You accepted the bags gratefully. “Anything else?”

“Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Blue….ok bye!”

“Bye”

Slam

Creeeeeeeak

6:30 AM

Slam

Knock

Your turn to open the door with a Creeeeeak

“Yes?”

“You got an iron?” Steve asked sheepishly, Tony, being slightly annoyed at the interruption of movie time poked his head into the hall.

“Why do you need an Iron? We have an Iron! I’m the Iron Man in this apartment!”

“She might have one not covered in cheese grease.” Steve said pointedly, Bucky looking guilty from opposite of Tony.

“That happened one time months ago! I bet it still works fine!” You gave the men a sympathetic glance.

Steve looked pleadingly at you. “Please.” You nodded, walking past a slightly irked and sleepy Sam to dig through the closet, returning promptly with an iron. “Thanks Doll, what’s your favorite movie?”

“Casablanca. You?”

“Pride and prejudice…” Your heart melted for .5 seconds before he quickly added “And Zombies.”

“Gotcha. Well, have a good morning. “

“Yea you too Y/N.”

Creeeeaaaak

Slam

7:30 AM

Creeeeeak

Knock Knock

Steve rubbed at his eyes before perking up at the sight of you in pjs, sleepy look on your own face as well.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got a blowtorch around here?” You asked casually.

Steve looked stunned. “Uh….One, should I be concerned for Sam’s well being?” You quickly shook your head. “Alright…Two, why do you need a blowtorch?”

“Crème Brulee” You laughed at his reaction, his eyebrows so far into his hairline they almost got lost into his hair. An exaggeration on your part but it was still definitely a sight. “Relax, I’m mostly sober. Just hungry.”

“There is no way your custard could have set by now.”

He noticed how you looked impressed before shrugging as if it were nothing, “It has when you own a blast chiller. Being employed by two world renowned chefs has its perks.”

“I guess. Hang on.” You managed to catch a glimpse of Tony and Bucky partially glaring at you from the living room.

“I’m not keeping you guys up am I?”

“Only meant to go to bed four hours ago.” Tony snapped before grinning, “But if you come in and cuddle with me til I fall asleep I’ll consider us even.” He winked and you felt slightly self conscious for standing in a doorway in a tank top and shorts.  

“Tony, go to bed. No one is keeping you out here.” Steve tossed across his shoulder before handing you the handheld heat device. “One blowtorch. “

“Thanks Steve. Want me to bring you some?” You asked innocently, cradling the blowtorch like a newborn. Bucky cleared his throat. “I think Tony and I deserve some for putting up with you two all night.” You gave a deep sigh before nodding slowly.

“Done. I did plan on bringing you some anyway, for being so nice to me. And like a belated birthday present.” Bucky’s eyes almost bulged out of his head, whipping it over to Steve at such a speed you thought it would pop off and get carried out of the window.

“If you don’t marry her I call dibs.” You held up a finger before heading back to your apartment, the door being left open for the simple fact that Sam had threatened to smother you. His hangover was coming in hot, and he was always so cranky when he had one. You put the finishing touches on the small ramekins, using the blowtorch with skilled hands. The parents of the kids you sat most of the week had taught you a thing or two after all. You carefully set them on a tray and along with a French press of fresh coffee, bridged the gap between your two doors once more.

You set the tray down on the coffee table in front of three sets of hungry eyes. “I hope you like it!” You said cheerfully, taking a minute to soak in the childlike wonder that graced the three men’s faces. They took no time digging into the confection, Bucky and Tony making nearly identical moans at their first spoonful.

“I take back all the bad things I was thinking about you.” Tony got out before moaning again, “This stuff should be illegal.” You shook your head, slowly backtracking through the door.

“I’m glad, but I should be trying to sleep now. I hope you all have a goodnight…I mean morning.” You rushed back to your apartment with a loud crrreeeeeaaaak.

“She’s perfect.” Steve gushed after nearly inhaling his dessert.

“If only you had remembered to ask her out.” Tony muffled out, going to town on licking the inside of the small bowl as if there were any stray pieces of burnt sugar remaining. “Now it looks like I’m going to have to. Really have to twist my arm.”

Steve looked at your closed door in disappointment. “Shit.”

8:00 AM

Slam

Steve raised his hand, waiting a moment to knock. He’d been an annoying asshole all night to his roommates, not to mention yours. He should just call it a night but he desperately needed to ask you out before he lost his nerve. And before Tony had a chance to. He lightly rapped on the door, holding his breath while the door creaked open. But you didn’t answer.

One extremely pissed off and extremely hungover Sam Wilson did.

“Someone better be dying 7-D.”

“Oh uh no…sorry I was uh…” Steve trailed off, looking for a way to cover his ass from the obvious wrath coming his way. “Spit it out I don’t have all day.” Sam warned, tapping his foot impatiently.

“DoyouhaveablenderIcouldborrow?” Steve shot out, the mumbled jumbled mess making Sam quirk a brow, crossing his arms.

“Come again?”

“Sorry, “ Steve cleared his throat before starting again, “Do you have a blender I can borrow? For Bloody Marys? The guys are gonna have a wicked hangover and I thought I’d be nice and make them when they wake up.”

“A blender seems like the exact opposite of what they need with a hangover  but what the hell. If it gets you out of my hair.“ Sam sighed, rubbing his eyes, “Hang on.” It took Sam ten seconds to retrieve the contraption and all of its matching parts. Steve would have been impressed, if he hadn’t felt so bad.

“One blender. Now let me die in peace.”

“Thanks…?” “Sam. Sam Wilson.”

“Sam.” Steve tried the name on for size with a wide smile. “Nice name.”

“Don’t push your luck Steve, Y/N may have fallen for that pretty boy crap but I sure as shit won’t.”

“I don’t suppose you two will want a Bloody Mary later?”

The door was already closing, Sam speaking into the shrinking crack with indifference. “Not unless it’s made out of sleep. Goodnight 7-D”

Steve thought his was the only door in the hallway that could slam.

Sunday, 3PM

“Y/N we need more toilet paper!” Sam called from the closet next to the bathroom, you hastily scribbling the words down on a post it note before grabbing your keys.

“I’m on it! If you think of anything else, text me!” You rushed out the door, not noticing you had forgotten to grab your apartment keys on the counter. You always carried two separate key rings, in the highly likely scenario of someone trying to mug you. Sam looked at them, wheels beginning to turn.

~~In 7-D~~

“I’m going out to get some celery!” Steve called, grabbing his keys and slipping on some worn sneakers, “If you need anything just message me!” Slam

“Today’s the day I change the locks.” Tony said confidently, retreating to his room briefly to grab the new set. He had been waiting for both of them to be home, but with the way Steve had been with Y/N all night he had a score to settle. Groaning at the sound of the trash man outside he pressed the once frozen bag of carrots to his head, walking out and past a comatose Bucky on the couch. Tony glared. Asshole can sleep through anything.

He was counting on it.

4:15pm

You were extremely concerned when you reached the apartment building and realized you forgotten your keys, temporary panic set in before you remembered two things.

One, Sam was still home.

And two, he was a light sleeper.

You practically sprinted down the hall, paying no mind to the tall blond that was slapped against his own door in defeat, random items along either side of the doorway. As you neared your own door you noticed a small pile of items had migrated outside as well, a bright orange sticky note attached to the oak door.

“They’ve locked us out.” Steve said with a groan, bag holding celery and coffee hitting the ground with an unimpressed thud. “They’re punishing us for this morning.”

“No way!” You bit out, knocking on the door angrily, “Wilma! Open this retched door if you ever want to take a shit again!” You looked down at the ground, finally acknowledging the objects. “What the hell is all of this?”

“It the things we borrowed from each other last night.” Came the blonde’s response, you recognizing the bright pink dust pan, French press, and Iron. Among other things he had asked for in the early hours.

“When did you borrow my blender?” You asked pointedly, noticing how Steve’s face turned a slight pink.

“This morning. I got Sam.” You mouth made a perfect O shape, taking the sticky note off the door. What he said-Sam

“This note makes no sense.” You whispered, scratching the crown of your head, looking up to Steve to see his blush deepen. “What’s this about?”

“Uh….here.” He handed you his own crumpled up note.

You can come in when you’ve grown a pair and asked her out –Tony

“Oh.” You stared at the note, shifting your weight from foot to foot while your hallway partner studied your face as if it was the first time meeting you. He jumped in surprise when you looked up again at him with a beaming smile, “Well how about lunch?”

“You’re not hungover?” He asked curiously, you scoffed.

“Please, I’m no rookie.”

“Lunch sounds great Y/N,” Steve beamed his own mega watt smile your way and held out his arm, “You ever been to Kay’s?”

“I looove Kay’s!” You gushed, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the hall, but not before yelling loudly. “IT’S A DATE! NOW YOU GUYS CAN PUT OUR STUFF BACK!”

The three men were happy to do it, thankful for some more peace and quiet. Even if only temporarily.

Six Months Later, 3 AM

Crreeeeaaaak

“God damnit.”

Your eyes shot open to the sound of your apartment door opening, waiting for the infernal door to scream in protest before it was shut. But that never came. Instead the sound of power tools and more cussing filled the air for a few moments before the sound of rattling metal and plastic containers flooded your ears. Curious, you threw on some slippers and opened your door, walking into the living room.

Your heart fluttered at the sight of Steve Rogers replacing your door hinges.

“Good morning handsome.” You called, walking up behind him and wrapping your arms around his solid middle, “You’re busy this morning. Long shift?”

“Nothing major, “ Steve moved so his arm came to rest around your side, “figured it was time we got this fixed. Especially since I live here now.”

“My hero,” You snarked, “whatever would I do without you?”

He snickered, “Probably kill Sam by now.”

“Yup.” You grinned when he let out a loud bark of laughter, “And now it’s just another thing you can hold over him when you see him and Tony this afternoon for brunch.”

“Copy that. Their apartment or ours this time?”He questioned, itching to get his hands on you.

“Theirs. So we have plenty of tim..”  He gripped you tight and cut you off with a kiss, you responding immediately. Steve sighed and picked you up effortlessly while you wrapped your legs around him. He pushed the door shut and tossed the lock over with ease, walking both of you back to your room.

Both doors closed with a soft click.

The end.

Tagging: @kaytizzle @giggleberts @cuffski @pies-wands-and-more

[innotherlands]

This week has been a constant back and forth for me in regards to whether I think Bellarke will be canon/not canon, and I just don’t know what to think anymore.

I was feeling pretty negative up until the episode yesterday and then made a complete 180 back to believing in Bellarke endgame after I saw Echo’s Roan apparition. It appeared to me that what we have been saying about B/echo’s relationship this whole time, i.e. It is not equal and Echo sees Bellamy just as another master (and frankly, that Bellamy also does not value her opinion like he does other people’s *cough* Clarke *cough*) is finally being addressed and will hopefully lead to a breakup and result in E/cho finding an identity as an individual rather than a follower. I saw that and thought, okay here we go, they’re finally taking the necessary steps to get to Bellarke canon.

At least, that’s what it seemed until the second script to screen came out with low key romantic vibes between Clarke and G/aia. Lines such as (I’m paraphrasing) “more personal” “they moved apart” “and Indra senses” indicate that scene was trying (emphasis on trying) to portray a budding romance between the two. The thing is, when I watched that scene I saw nothing but friendship. I don’t know if I interpreted it wrong, they failed in translating what they really wanted to say from script to scene, or if it was just a weirdly worded way to say that they are developing a friendship and respect for each other. When I read that script my stomach sank, and so I went back to thinking that Bellarke isn’t happening.

At this point I honestly don’t know what to think. I was so sure before the season started (before the Bob/Bellamy drama) that Bellarke is going to be canon. The season premier just seemed to be communicating two different things at the same time.

Yet every time I think about it, I see Bellarke endgame as inevitable. It goes against the story that they have been telling for 6 seasons to end any other way, especially after the obvious romance in season 6. I was not at all confident in canon Bellarke post season five, but season six managed to completely change my mind. I just can’t see why they would write what would be interpreted as blantantly romantic scenes in any other couple and the foundations of a B/echo breakup if they weren’t intending to go there. Things like:

Clarke looking high key scared when Bellamy mentions the radio calls, and visibly relaxing when he reveals that Madi told him; what, pray tell did she say in those calls that she was so scared of Bellamy having heard? A love confession?

Paralleling Bellamy and Clarke with Gabriel and Josephine - they literally ended the season in their clothes

Bellamy dismissing every idea that E/cho suggests while championing Clarke as a leader/ agreeing with her suggestions

Emphasizing that E/cho doesn’t care about “doing better” like Bellamy and Clarke

Clarke listing “leaving Bellamy in Polis” as her biggest regret. She’s had to do so many terrible things, and that’s her biggest regret? Even though it all turned out okay? I see you girl.

Showing that B/echo don’t really know each other, even after spending 6 years together on the ring (although we don’t know how long they’ve actually been together, all we know is that he forgave her after 3 years; they read as a relatively new relationship to me) - Bellamy had to tell E/cho that Octavia got arrested at a party, which she should have known as it’s pivotal to his character. E/cho also has been lying about her past/identity (and I once again ask, how did he even forgive her if he didn’t know anything about why she was actually so loyal to Azgeda?)

The consistent blocking and framing of E/cho between Bellamy and Clarke. In the first episode Clarke even completely blocks E/cho from the camera’s view while Bellamy and Clarke gaze at one another

The absolutely adoring way that Clarke looked at Bellamy when he brought Madi back to her

Bellamy picking a fight with E/cho over not being emotional enough just after having an emotional and cathartic conversation with Clarke (and watching her dance with another dude)

Clarke understanding what Bellamy needs re: Octavia, juxtaposed with his obvious annoyance with E/cho’s attempts to get him to forigive her

Bellamy being the first one (and only one without help) to figure out that Clarke has been body snatched.

E/cho spending an entire episode worrying about Bellamy while he was - at the same time - ready to burn sanctum down over Clarke and forgo a peace deal without sparing a thought for E/cho (and the rest of his family)

“Don’t you remember what it’s like to lose someone you love?”- Russel talking to a Josephine about (presumably) Gabriel

Paralleling Russel and Simone to Bellamy and Clarke (remember when Simone said Russel uses his heart, implying that she uses her head? Or when Bellamy and Clarke exited the Sanctum bar the exact same way as Russel and Simone had moments before (if I had a gif I would use it, but believe me it’s obviously intentional when you look at it)

The camera moving from Lexa (her past love interest) to Bellamy (her current love interest) in Clarke’s mind space

Clarke’s unwillingness to face Bellamy in her mind space for fear that he hadn’t actually forgiven her for her actions

How Clarke gave up on herself when she thought that Bellamy had given up on her.

How Bellamy was the first person to realize that Clarke was still alive, through Morse code no less. How attentive to somebody do you have to be to notice something like that?

Bellamy abandoning everything at just the slightest chance that Clarke could be alive; he knew that taking Josephine!Clarke would anger Russel and likely lead to a perilous situation for his family and girlfriend, and yet he did it anyway. There are so many variables that could have lead to failure, i.e. running out of time before Clarke and Josephine merge, Josephine herself, the CoG, the location of Gabriel, whether or not Gabriel would actually help him, etc. Bellamy had everything to lose if he didn’t succeed, but he ultimately decided a loss of Clarke is worse than risking his entire family’s safety over the long shot of saving Clarke.

Bellamy staring angstly at Josephine!Clarke and waiting what felt like forever to say “I won’t let you die” (which we and likely Josephine took as “I love you”).

How Bellamy instinctively knew when Clarke had returned in the cave

“Clarke, you gotta run” “No, I’m not leaving you!”

The CPR scene. There are so many things here: Bellamy finally admitting he needs Clarke after denying it during the red sun, including himself and Madi as the people that need Clarke (not Abby?), the repeating of the head and the heart (the symbolic representation of their relationship) as almost a mantra, Bellamy’s words inspiring Clarke to fight back (we all know his crappy CPR didn’t do the trick), Bellamy beating Clarke’s heart for her - symbolically being her heart when she was stuck in her head, the way that everybody thought they were going to kiss after she woke up (we know our girl wanted to, but she’s not a cheater), the fact that Octavia tried to tell Bellamy that he should let Clarke go but he wouldn’t accept it, how Clarke literally nuzzles his shoulder after she wakes up.

Gabriel saying “I have to let you go now” and Bellamy later saying “I won’t let you go” - it’s a symbolic passing of the torch and proof of Bellamy’s devotion to Clarke

The music during the CPR scene being the same (albeit more emotional) as when Abby was doing CPR on Kane

The increase in intimacy the episode after Clarke was revived: Bellamy’s hand on Clarke’s thigh, the gazing into eachother’s eyes, the casual touching, Bellamy’s “I didn’t protect you” and obvious guilt over choosing to save Clarke over his family’s safety (not that he regrets saving her - his guilt is his acknowledgment that he chose Clarke over everybody), his adamant refusal to let Clarke go into danger even though it was the best way to save their friends, Gabriel’s intrisic knowledge that Bellamy wouldn’t want Clarke to be put in danger, the way they stared at each other after Clarke took off their gags, etc.

“E/cho’s in trouble too, I’ll do what I can for her” followed by a less than emotional stare and the stark realization that he actually has a girlfriend and her name isn’t Clarke

The absolutely lovestruck way that Clarke stared at Bellamy when he was giving his speech about the primes

The way E/cho and Bellamy reunited after he heard she was in danger and we Clarke’s bittersweet reaction to the hug but not E/cho’s face. Also, a pat on the back and no kiss? That’s funny.

The emotional Bellarke hug(s) at the end of the season where they are shrouded in golden light and are silhouetted with sun spots reaching over their entwined bodies - this is a tried an true romance trope and the director had to have known when shooting the scene

All of this happened in season 6, and that isn’t even mentioning the stuff from previous seasons like “a traitor who you love” “the hostage taker and his girlfriend,” the radio calls, “I’ve got you for that!”, “we can’t! lose! Clarke!”, etc. that just scream Bellarke romance. I look at all of it and just think that the story can’t possibly end any other way than Bellarke canon. There’s too much evidence supporting a Bellarke romance and B/echo breakup. E/cho could find herself away from Bellamy and Clarke will go to the ends of the earth to save him. But with the potential C/laia stuff now I am so anxious and stressed. This season could honestly go either way, and I wish I could skip forward to the ending so I could just know once and for all. These next months are going to feel like forever. For now I’m going to watch and hope for the best, trusting what my eyes have been telling me all these years to be true. I just hope Jason can follow through.

[hollandspiderling]

Homecoming Redemption || Part One - The Planning

Summary: After everything that has happened to Peter, all he wanted was to have some sort of normalcy for his senior year. With the new school year finally underway, so far everything seems to be going to plan. He and his friends are trying to not let the effects of recent events get the best of them and everyone is moving forward. Now with the homecoming dance quickly approaching, what will Peter do once he realizes that he needs to find a date?

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: Mild swearing in this part! 

Author’s Note: Sorry the first part was released a day later, lovies. Something came up with my family last night and I wasn’t able to finish writing it. But without further ado, here is the first part! Also, I apologize if this was a little shorter than usual, a lot of things happened unexpectedly and I still wished to give you guys an update. Hope you guys like it, hehe. ^^~ xoxo, Astrid ❤

Teaser | Prologue | Part One | Part Two 

“Ugh, training days are always the longest.”

Peter laughed to himself as he watched you throw yourself onto his bed and rubbed your sore muscles. Steve finally let you guys off the hook after watching the two of you spar against one another for a good two hours. He watched as you lazily grabbed onto one of his pillows and turned on the TV in his room. It was a habit of yours to waste time in his room whenever you guys trained because it was closest to the compound’s gym. The two of you would usually end up having a movie marathon or work on homework together because Bruce would be on your asses if any of the Avengers found out that your grades managed to slip.

He shook his head and threw the towel he had around his neck at you. You playfully gagged when it landed on your face and tossed it to the ground.

“Not cool, Parker.”

“Get off of my bed, missy. You already know the drill.”

You rolled your eyes and slid off his bed before going towards his closet. Rummaging through your stash of comfy clothes you had stored there; you grabbed a fresh set of clothes and began to make your way towards his bathroom.

“I’ll be back in ten.”

Peter hummed in acknowledgment as he threw his training bag towards his bed and walked towards his desk. Turning on his laptop, he saw that the people he needed to talk to was online and immediately requested them to join a group Skype session. A relieved smile crept onto his face when they appeared on his screen and nervously cracked his knuckles.

“So, guys…I need your help…”

Ned’s laugh echoed through his room and Peter sighed in relief when he heard the shower turn on. He was afraid that you might hear the conversation he was having with the rest of your friends. MJ raised an eyebrow at him, and he watched as she settled her laptop in a more comfortable position on her bed.

“Ned was catching me up with what happened this afternoon. You aren’t going to let Brad win, are you?”

“No, no, no of course not! I just don’t think she’d actually say yes if I asked her.”

MJ’s jaw dropped and gave him an incredulous look.

“Are you shitting me right now, Parker?”

He groaned and let his head fall into his hands.

“Now isn’t the time for this MJ…”

“You must be one of the slowest guys I know and yet the city of New York depends on you.”

Ned snickered and Peter glared at him through his monitor. He threw his hands up in response and twirled around in his chair.

“Peter, you gotta have more confidence in yourself dude. You guys are close and I’m pretty sure she’d prefer to have you as her date over Brad.”

“So have you figured out his plan, yet?”

Ned shook his head and MJ casually flipped through her notes and said, “He’s planning on asking her during lunch in front of the whole school.”

“How’d you know?”

She shrugged and said, “He wouldn’t stop yapping about it in our art class. I was trying to finish the sketch I was doing but he was being too annoying.”

“Leave it up to MJ to have ears for everything,” Ned said and Peter laughed in response.

“So all we have to do is make sure he doesn’t make it to lunch then.”

“Exactly, Pete. Should we meet up tomorrow to discuss further details?”

Peter looked at him with his eyebrows pinched and asked, “Why would-“

“Ned! MJ! What’s up?”

His eyes widened as he felt your hands on his shoulders and you leaned down to greet them. He gulped and readjusted his position as the familiar scent of the body wash you left in his bathroom filled his senses. Unconsciously, he leaned against your arms as your head casually rested on his shoulder.

“What have you guys been talking about?”

“Oh nothing, we were just going over where we should meet up for the dance.” MJ swiftly covered and her eyes were studying the both of you.

Your eyes met hers and you gave her a look before smiling at the two of them. She laughed and shook her head.

“This just proves my case.”

“MJ, shut up.”

She couldn’t help but snicker at your response and Ned sighed. “Women and their ability to have many silent conversations to themselves.”

Peter snapped out of his daze when you moved away and felt his cheeks burn. The rapid beating of he felt in his chest threw him off and all he could do was sigh to himself, trying to process what just happened in the span of fifteen seconds. He sighed as he looked back and you were already on the other side of the room looking for a hoodie to steal from him again.

“Meet at the library tomorrow during free period.” He said and the other two nodded before he ended the call.

You smiled at him when he got up from his desk and joined you on his bed. He let out another sigh as he laid face down on his pillow and you could tell he was thinking about something. With your eyes glued to the latest episode of Love Island, you simply began to run a hand through his hair. Ned’s words from earlier that day ran through his head as all of the symptoms were ringing throughout his body. He realized how much he realized he looked forward to seeing you every day. He was frustrated to only recognize that the butterflies in his stomach were not from nervousness but because of what he was feeling towards you. He loved the way how you were a constant in his life. His mind flashed back to when you had fallen asleep on his shoulder earlier. He admired the way your hair fell over your face like a curtain covering you from what was around you. He laughed at the way your nose scrunched up when something happened in your dream. And when he turned around to see you wearing his favorite Midtown hoodie, that solidified just how much he liked you.

Now with Brad being his competition to asking you towards the dance, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Brad was the heartthrob of your class and he was simply just Peter Parker. Looking at the odds, he couldn’t help but think that Brad was going to be the one you chose. Peter groaned and flopped onto his back and shook his head to clear the negative thoughts out of his head. He looked up at you as you looked down at him with concerned eyes. Smiling softly at you, he flicked your forehead.

“No need to worry about me, Stark. Just stressed about the upcoming test we have for Statistics.”

You looked at him with doubt, but he gave you a reassuring smile. “Just give me a couple more minutes and I’ll be fine.”

Sighing, you nodded, and he raised himself up to lean against the headboard of his bed. You naturally followed suit and the two of you settled into your Love Island marathon. You leaned closer to him and groaned. Pushing him off the bed, he cursed and looked at you in surprise.

“What’d you do that for?!”

You laughed and pointed towards the shower. “You smell like the gym and before we can continue this marathon.”

“You could’ve just told me.” He huffed before pushing himself off the floor.

Smiling cheekily at him, you shrugged and said, “That wouldn’t be a classic move of mine, wouldn’t it Parker?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

----

You sighed to yourself as you made your way to the council room. It was finally free period and you were glad to spend some time on making sure that everything for the dance was going according to plan. Letting your bag slip to your hand, you twisted the doorknob to the room and raised an eyebrow. Alex was supposed to unlock the room for all of you and you found it odd that it was still locked. He was a guy who was only on time and you leaned against the wall. You took out your phone and quickly sent a text to him,

To: Alex From: Y/N

Where are you?

You watched the bubbles appear on the screen and scoffed once you saw his response.

To: Prez Stark From: Alex

Sorry, Prez! The others and I got pulled into different things last minute. Twins had to stay back because Kai got in trouble. Betty needed to go over her essay, and I need to redeem an ‘I owe you’ to one of the football players for the dance. We all agreed that we’d do double time after school for ya. Just enjoy this free time and relax for a bit!

You laughed to yourself and contemplated with the free time you had. A buzz came from your wrist and you looked at it to see your uncle calling. Smirking to yourself, you made your way to the school’s rooftop to see what everyone’s favorite superhero wanted from you.

Meanwhile, everyone sighed in relief to see that you wouldn’t hunt you down. Peter smiled sheepishly as Alex gave him a reassuring nod to continue what he was saying.

“So, I need you guys to help me figure out a way to smoothly ask Y/N to the dance.”

“Do you have an idea of what you want to do?” Keila asked as she smiled excitedly.

Peter pursed his lips and shrugged. “Uh…I really haven’t done a proper asking for.”

“Well, first of all, you need a poster that’s for sure.” Betty said.

Ned nodded in agreement and said, “Do you know any of her favorite things to play around with?”

“I know that she loves puns because her mom would tell her one every morning.”

“That’s something we can work with since that’s usually the case for these posters,” Alex said matter-of-factly.

“Anything else, Parker?”

“She loves coffee and can’t function without it. Disney movies are her guilty pleasure besides scented candles. Y/N prefers savory snacks over sweet. Her favorite flowers are roses and sunflowers and her favorite TV show is Love Island at the moment. If it’s not Disney, then her favorite movie is The Devil Wears Prada.”

When Peter looked back at his friends, they all had teasing smiles.

“Aw, look at that. Little Peter Parker is in love.” MJ smirked.

“And he knows all of her favorite things, that’s so sweet.” Kai snickered.

“Well how about this: MJ and Keila can work on the poster together. Betty and I will get the basket together. Alex and Kai can go bother Brad when he plans on asking Y/N.” Ned offered.

“Just tell us what her favorite colors are, and we’ll work our magic.” Keila winked at him as she stood up and made her way to where MJ was sitting so they can sketch out a design together.

Alex and Kai high-fived each other and stood up as well. “We’re going to go talk to the basketball team to see what’s up. We’ll infiltrate the nemesis and make sure Y/N is free for you.”

Ned and Betty looked at Peter before Betty said, “Don’t worry Peter, we’re going to help you make sure that this asking is going to be one for the books.”

Peter smiled gratefully at all of his friends and a surge of confidence spread throughout his body. He nodded and said, “Don’t forget, this is all happening tomorrow. I just really hope everything is going to be fine.”

“Don’t worry Parker, Y/N means a lot to us and even if you weren’t asking her, Brad would’ve been rejected either way. She never stops ranting to the council how much he keeps bothering her.” Keila laughed and MJ nodded in agreement.

“Since there’s still some time left before the period is over, why don’t you go find her?” Betty offered.

He nodded to the idea and immediately grabbed his things. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea, I’ll go find her right now.”

His friends watched him leave the library and they all shook their heads in unison.

“They’re helpless, aren’t they?” Ned asked as he turned his attention back to the rest of the group that stayed behind.

Alex nodded and said, “It’s so obvious how much they like each other.”

“I don’t understand why they haven’t caught on to each other yet.” Betty added.

“When a fool’s in love, they don’t realize anything else.” MJ finished.

Keila shook her head in amusement. “I think it’s adorable and if you think about it, it’s a free show for us to watch as they figure things out.”

“There have been so many times that Y/N has made it so obvious, but Parker is really slow at realizing things.” Kai sighed.

“It’s alright, what matters are the baby steps. Peter is finally growing the balls to ask her and Y/N just needs to wait for him to realize what’s been in front of him all along.”

Everyone nodded and MJ said, “Let’s get to getting all of this done so Operation: Homecoming can achieve its goal and the two lovebirds can finally be in a relationship.”

Taglist:  (lmk if you want to be tagged! Tagged those who asked and who I think might enjoy this fic || Crossed out means I wasn’t able to tag you!) @ithinkimightlikehim @ homecomlng @meganlikesfandoms​ @tomfiction4​ @averyfosterthoughts​ @justcallmehitgirl​ @procrastinatingismybiggestflaw​ @mrhollandisart​ @yeahimcrying​ @littlebookbengal​ @caretheunicorn​ @mara-twins​ @jackiehollanderr​ @imsocial-not​ @ibookishqueen​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @ 3tothe1 @babebenhardy​ @kewl-r​ @llamazarecoolaf​ @mrsfortune1306​ @dangerousluv1​ @distracted-paganism​ @stxfxniexreads​ @mybitchborky​ @autty0314​ @problems-in-paradise​ @megaprincesscakes​ @marvel-ousnesss​

[twilight-zoned-out]

What Just Happened

In which Peter and Ned have a grand old time wading through Flash's Spiderman conspiracy channel until they get back from Europe and everyone finds out who Spiderman actually is. Based off of two posts (although currently I can only find  one of them!).

Update: Here's the other one!

 Part I: The Context

It began as a joke.

Ned found it, surfing the web (as he often did) for Spiderman-related articles. Now that he knew Peter Parker, aka Midtown’s smartest and most heroic but also-kind-of-a-flake-when-it-came-to-events-but-for-a-good-reason teen was actually Spiderman, he redoubled his efforts with the added goal of making sure nobody ever got too close to Spiderman’s true identity.

Which is how he found the youtube channel.

“Hi, my name is Eugene Thompson, commonly known as Flash, and today we’ll be beginning a series of videos akin to what some of my peers might refer to as ‘Behind the Mask.’”

Ned stopped it right there and called Peter Parker.

“Dude, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing right now you have to come over.”

“What? Why?” Slight static ran in Peter’s background – no doubt caused by Peter’s frantic efforts to get to Ned’s room. Or maybe he was just shifting the phone to multitask with his homework. Static meant a lot of things.

“I found another Spiderman conspiracy video and I feel like it doesn’t exist in the same dimension I’m living in.”

“Did it say I was alien?”

“No – well, I don’t actually know. I haven’t gotten to the conspiracy part yet. But it has to be good.”

“How do you know?”

“You’ll get it when you see it. Come over, I’ll wait. I’m only 8 seconds in.”

“Don’t you have a test to study for?”

“Quiz, and it’s Tuesday. Besides, we both know that won’t take long.”

“You, Ned Leeds, are a bad influence.”

A tap tap tap came from Ned’s window. He grinned as he drew away the curtain to let Peter inside.

“It didn’t take much to convince you.”

“Yeah, well, you piqued my intere-” Peter’s jaw dropped open at the sight of Ned’s laptop.

“I know, right?”

“That’s Flash.” Peter turned to face Ned and pointed at the screen. “That’s Flash Thompson from Midtown School of Science and Technology.”

Ned’s grin grew. “You understand my pain.”

“I don’t know if I understand anything.” Peter flopped down onto Ned’s bed, then sat up. “Okay Flash, what have you got.”

Ned settled back into his very comfortable spinny chair and brought the video back to the start.

“Hi, my name is Eugene Thompson, commonly known as Flash-”

Peter snorted.

“-and today we’ll be beginning a series of videos akin to what some of my peers might refer to as ‘Behind the Mask.’”

Flash wore a suit without a tie and stood next to a series of boards, hands clasped behind his back.

“For me, it doesn’t matter. I have one goal in mind.”

Flash’s gaze intensified as he leveled with the camera.

“Who is Spiderman?”  

Peter and Ned watched silently, enraptured, until Flash actually started rolling out the theories. Then Ned actually had to pause it because the both of them were laughing too hard.

“There’s a whole series,” Ned managed to get out between fits of laughter.

They watched them all. Peter even got Ned to subscribe to ‘Spiderman Thomspiracies,’ as it was.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t promoted his channel to the school,” Peter commented.

“You know Flash. If people actually find out Spiderman’s you, he probably doesn’t want to be proven he was wrong.”

Peter briefly sobered at the idea of being figured out, then lightened. “I guess we’re never going to prove that he’s wrong, then.”

The channel had surprisingly few viewers before Ned and Peter got a hold of it. Then Ned started promoting it through his magic tech ways, and it really took off. Flash still didn’t mention it during school.

But his series was a hit.

‘Out of all the theorists I’ve watched, you’re the best!’ One of the comments said, and given how Ned and Peter were the only ones not to take the channel seriously (as far as they could tell), the only conclusion was that the comment – and the tens of others like it – weren’t being sarcastic. A good portion lauded him for endeavoring to use science, physics, and logical theory to determine or invalidate hypotheses, and surprisingly enough, when the topic was about who Spiderman couldn’t be, he had pretty good reasoning. It was the opposite side of the spectrum that took him off the rails – and he went there a lot.

One of his theories became so convoluted and over the top (it spanned a few episodes) that Peter and Ned had spent an actual 40 minutes trying to map out his train of thought. It took four sheets of paper, and at the end they just dissolved it into a galaxy brain meme.

Peter’s sophomore spring turned to summer turned to fall. Junior year rolled around, and Flash’s search to figure out Spiderman hadn’t slowed down. In fact, he’d been given a boost.

“I just want to say thank you for 1000 subscribers, it really means a lot for you all to support my work. We’re getting closer to discovering Spiderman’s true identity every day, I can feel it.”

Then the blip occurred.

Somehow, in that timespan, Flash’s videos grew big. Bigger than his channel had a right to be.

When five years came and went, and Peter and Ned had just started to adjust to everyone else’s way of life, Spiderman Thomspiracies appeared like a ghost. They made the time to watch it.

 “Hey guys, it’s been a while, I just want to say thank you so much for pushing this channel on strong. I was blipped, apparently, and it’s crazy. I don’t know if I’ll have time to do videos like this for a while, but I just wanted to let you all know that I’m starting up an Instagram where I can talk to you guys about what’s going on, you know, my experience, and maybe you guys can catch me up on some things. Starting with your thoughts on Spiderman. Five years should be enough time to crank out at least one video.

“I’ll make it easy for you. Catch me on SpideyNo1Fan. Flash Thompson out.”

Peter and Ned stared at the screen long after the video ended.

Flash had reached approximately 13,922 subscribers.

Part II: The Event

“Hey guys, it’s been a crazy week. But you’d already know that if you watched my previous videos. Gotta say, being saved by Spiderman in Europe is pretty dope. Now I’m back in home sweet New York, and – aw thanks dude, you’re the best. See, this is why I livestream: it’s so much easier to connect with you all in real time – hold up.” Flash looked up from his phone, then swiveled himself around to put the giant advertisement-turned-news screen behind him. “Looks like something’s going on.”

“The following moments may shock you.”

Flash shot a strange look towards his viewers, falling silent as the news clip ran its course.

“Do it. Execute them all.”

Flash’ jaw dropped.

“There you have it, folks, conclusive proof-”

“What?!” Flash looked at his invisible viewers furiously as the side of his screen lit up with people clamoring to know his opinion. “This is ridiculous. Something else has to be going on here – I know Spiderman, I see him almost every day. Spiderman saved the day! He’s not like that - How long have we known Mysterio? I mean, he saved the day, but Spiderman, there’s no way-

“But that’s not all, folks. Here’s the real blockbuster.”

Flash raised an eyebrow as he commented to the masses. “I’ll get to the bottom of this, don’t you doubt.”

“Spiderman’s real name-”

Flash froze.

“Spiderman’s real name is-”

“No.”

The word came out as a half-wheeze whisper. Spiderman’s identity had been kept from the citizens of New York – nay, the world – but working together in Europe, there was a possibility Mysterio actually did know who was behind the mask-

“Spiderman’s name is PETER PARKER!”

An image of said person blew up on the screen behind Flash, who let out an ungainly shriek, eyes bugged out to the max.

“I’ve gotta go,” Flash stammered out, voice uneven, after enough of a pause for the news segment behind him to begin relooping. “I’ve gotta figure this out. Flash out.”

With shaking hands, he ended the livestream. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He felt sick.

Out of all the possibilities for who Spiderman was, he’d never once thought Peter Parker.

Flash, still standing there gaping at his own reflection through the turned-off screen, made for the closest bench and sat himself down heavily. He had to work this through.

The news on the screen in front of him returned to its revolutionary image; Flash’s focus intensified, trying to absorb every detail. Trying to find the flaw.

It couldn’t be Peter Parker.

.

Peter had raced away immediately after the video and ended up on top of the old Avengers tower. He didn’t even want to check his phone, want to see all the texts flooding in.

But he had to call Aunt May. He’d do that first.

Once she knew where he was and he’d assured her that he knew what to do if bombarded by questions he didn’t need to answer, he hung up and called Ned.

“Ned. Ned. I am freaking out right now.”

“Okay, this is bad.” Ned didn’t even try to put a positive spin on it; despite his own opinions about sharing Spiderman’s identity, he knew what it meant to Peter. “Where are you? I’ll come over. We’ll face it together.”

“No. I’m still in the suit. I left MJ – oh man, people saw me with MJ earlier and I just…I just left her there-”

“I’ll contact her, it’s fine. Guy in the chair.”

“Guy in the chair.” Peter blew out a shaky breath. “You can’t tell them anything.”

“…Peter,” Ned replied, a little confused. “Your picture was up on the screen. The secret’s out.”

“No. I mean, the rest of the news wasn’t true either. They said I killed Mysterio, which-” Peter suddenly went silent.

“Peter?”

“I didn’t.” Peter’s voice was small and tight and high-pitched. “He fired the bullet and it ricocheted off my suit and hit him. I didn’t have time to figure out where it would go.”

“Dude, I believe you. You didn’t kill Mysterio.” Ned changed the pace of the conversation. “Anyway, this whole claim is ridiculous. Who would actually believe you’d want to kill Mysterio? You’re the friendly neighborhood Spiderman.” Ned sighed. “I’ll try to keep you posted with what I can find. Are you sure you don’t want me to come over later? I can bring pizza. Or you can visit my place. I’ll explain to my parents that you aren’t a super-murderer.”

“I’m not a super-murderer-”

“I know, that’s what I just said, you aren’t a super-mur-”

“Just- don’t say that right now. Please.”

“Okay. I’ll check up on you later.” Ned hung up, and Peter let out a sigh. He couldn’t hide in the building forever, and reporters – or even police, Peter realized with a jolt – might be waiting for him at Aunt May’s. If he didn’t come soon, they might have to take the Bugle’s footage at its word.

Was that how it worked? Was that even legal? He wasn’t sure. American Government was senior year.

His phone vibrated.

Incoming Call from Flash Thompson, his phone read. Peter rested his head against the wall. Flash was among the last people he wanted to talk to at the moment.

He let the phone call go to voicemail and ignored it.

His phone vibrated.

Hey I need to ask you something for social media.

Peter’s eyes widened with a start. In the stress of the moment, he’d almost completely forgotten about Flash’s channel.

Incoming Call from Flash Thompson, his phone read again. Peter answered on the first ring.

But Flash didn’t seem smug. Or menacing. The only thing he asked when Peter picked up was a simple “Is it true?”

That flew Peter for a loop. Disoriented, he responded a beat late. “Flash-“

“It’s true, isn’t it.” Flash didn’t even need Peter’s confirmation. “At first I thought, ‘no way Parker’s actually Spiderman.’ I mean, you guys are nothing alike. But then I thought about it more, and I realized – there’s no way you have family in Germany. You weren’t even when any of the Elementals attacked, and they followed us everywhere – wait, you didn’t plant the elemental attacks, did you?”

“What? No, of course not.” As upset as he was about the event, Peter was more upset that somebody would believe something so blatantly unrealistic.

“Of course not,” Flash agreed, speech coming through as if his mind were elsewhere. “You’re Spiderman.” His voice came back to focus with a snap. “Oh man, you’re Spiderman. I can’t believe this is happening.”

It was over. Peter wanted to cry. “Flash, please, you can’t post about this on your conspiracy channel-”

“You know about that?” There was suddenly a smirk in Flash’s voice, but it didn’t have any disdain attached to it. “I’m pretty big on there, aren’t I?”

“Flash, seriously, this is a big problem for me. Anyone with something against Mr. Stark or an avenger knows who I am now and they’re going to come after me and Aunt May and possibly the school-” Peter took in a deep breath, trying to formulate words.

“Don’t worry man, I got you.”

Flash hung up the phone.

Twenty seconds later, Flash’s Instagram updated.

‘Getting to the bottom of this insane claim. Guess you’ll see another video sooner than I thought!’

Peter put his face into his hands and groaned. He didn’t even know what to make of that.

.

Another vibration.

Hey. It was MJ. You okay?

Yeah, Peter responded. You?

No thanks to you.

…

I’m joking, I’m fine. Do what you gotta do.

Ned texted him around the time, too.

Hey, MJ’s safe, I’m safe, are you safe?

Safe enough to respond to your text. How’s Aunt May?

Holding down the fort pretty well. Do you think you’ll have to come to school on Monday?

Bigger problems.

Right.

.

The video uploaded about an hour later.

“There’s been a horrendous accusation floating around the figure we know and love as Spiderman. Today, I’m here to prove to you that this lie has been purported by the media and is not possible. Ever.”

Flash spent 20 or so minutes describing his first-hand experience in Europe and extol Spiderman’s actions. Then he veered off course. “Now, I’m sure you have some questions about the other claim made by the Daily Bugle – a site which I’m pretty sure none of us have heard of until now. Particularly, concerning Spiderman’s true identity.” Flash then filled the time doing what he did best – making fun of Peter Parker. He went through numerous examples of what Peter Parker was like, and although Peter tried to reason that the bullying was an attempt to help him out, he was a little less grateful when it stretched for 15 minutes.

Flash ended the video with a sober expression.

“As you know, every theory has both impossible and plausible components to it. But ask yourselves: if Spiderman, who you’ve seen and known as a hero, and Peter Parker, who you now know as a wimp, were in that position on the London Bridge, do you really think either of them would want to kill the great Mysterio? Do you think either of them would even think about doing something that ruthless? That dastardly?

“We are far from finished with the topic of Spiderman. But while I work tirelessly to achieve the high standards set long ago for this channel, ask yourself that question, viewers, because something doesn’t add up. Flash Thompson out.”

Peter took a minute to digest what he’d watched. Then he called up Flash. Of course, Flash was the first one to speak.

“Pretty great, huh?”

“Flash…”

“Don’t thank me. I already know what you’re going to say.”

“You…didn’t try to convince them I wasn’t Spiderman.”

“What – of course I didn’t. Do you think I would blatantly lie to my fans? I’ve built this channel off of trust. And math. And logical reasoning. And I did you a favor. People need to see you as a hero instead of a weird power-hungry monster, so that’s what I’m driving at. You’re not a power-hungry monster, right?”

“No!”

“No. Obviously. Because you’re Spiderman.” Flash paused. “Man, I still can’t get over that. I just want to make sure you know that I totally respect you as Spiderman, but as Peter Parker, everything I said in the video still stands.”

Peter sighed. “Thanks, Flash.”

“No problem. If you need PR, I’m the guy. As Spiderman.”

“Great.”

Part III: The Effect

Peter finally got back to the apartment (thankfully in one piece) and Aunt May and him where sitting together on the couch with hot chocolate when his phone began to vibrate.

“I don’t want to answer it,” Peter half-murmured.

“You should put it on silence,” Aunt May suggested helpfully. With a groan, Peter moved to do so.

The text was from Flash Thompson.

Sure you don’t want my offer on PR?

Peter’s brow furrowed in confusion.

Before he could dismiss it, his phone vibrated again. It was from Ned.

Dude. Check the video. Check Flash’s video right now.

Peter refreshed the page – he hadn’t even deleted the tab yet – and carefully set down his hot chocolate so he could plop heavily onto the couch.

Aunt May shifted closer, concerned. “What? What is it?”

Peter shook his head, disbelieving. “Just…” He was going to have to explain the whole thing. For the moment, he just showed her the screen.

Flash’s video had reached 1 million.

[phantom-vex]

time crapsules thoughts (spoilers for camp camp season 4 finale!)

Sorry for not putting this under a read more :( I’m on mobile

Nikki’s enthusiastic ‘they’re empty!’ has me giggling already. There have been some great Nikki moments this season.

I mean, it’d be pretty easy to assume that time capsules make you travel through time. Something about the word ‘capsule’ sounds really sci-fi.

David made a time capsule didn’t he.

“I’m sure your past self would be thrilled to hear you ended up as a camp counsellor!” “He would be!”

The Davey voice never fails to make me smile, it’s so silly sounding!

Also why is the drawing falling off a skateboard.

“I am deeply upset that I didn’t see that coming.”

“I kept a diary, like an adult.” A lot of Gwen’s personality screams ‘had to grow up too fast’ and this just adds to that feeling. Maybe she thought she couldn’t make a time capsule cause they were childish, so made a diary instead.

Max’s impression of young Gwen is kinda funny. I feel bad for laughing since he’s clearly mocking her, but still.

A money factory/horse sanctuary sounds like a great business idea. Campbell should get on that. (This isn’t me shipping Gwen and Campbell, hell no.)

Oh no honey :((

In the livestream, the crew kept repeating ‘archery’ over and over again during the list section.

“Since that waiter mistook her hair for a hat!” It was literally this season when I realised it wasn’t a hat! Also,,, waiter? When did they go to a restaurant...? Gwenvid shippers, here’s your fuel.

“I hope you’re proud of yourself.” “I’m not.” WE STAN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

Max being confused at feeling guilt is weirdly sad.

“You’re becoming kinder, and David hires a criminal to-“ David just yeeted himself from that situation!

He’s legitimately freaking out and I genuinely feel bad for him.

Max not being able to stand his transitory period is a huge mood.

Max’s little hand wave is cute.

You know what else is cute? Space Kid holding up the box and yelling ‘isn’t this fun!’

Gwen I would love to read your fanfic! If it was censored, that is. But I’m sure they’re great..?

oh lawd he comin

You can physically see the gears turning in his head as he’s trying to figure out what to do. He doesn’t know how to comfort someone. Remember season 3? “Don’t...uh....tears?” So he’s going off the only example he can really think of: David.

It’s also incredibly telling that Gwen immediately assumes Max wants something.

“Instead, my ass is stuck in a trash can.” Gwen continues to be the biggest mood of the series.

Those are some David poses right there. Swinging arms, one hand on hip, marching off; Max is trying to replicate who he considers the kindest person he knows, even if he’s not doing it consciously.

‘Ass stuck in a trash can. Right.’ Why is this my favourite joke of the season.

Nikki honey, are you ok?

“Please tell me I’m about to be executed” “You wish!” I love their dynamic.

“-you’ve never seen Flash Fiancé”

“Disgusting.” I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC

“I don’t need to tell you what I wanted him to do with that shuttlecock” “Again, disgusting.”

Oh yikes.

And Max here makes a similar mistake to one David made in Season 2 with the Quartersister! Inviting someone from the past without checking what they’re like in the present.

Wait, is that Richie Branson? Dude definitely deserved his cameo! And he’s not a half bad VA either.

Max is the Flash.

Nikki grows her hair back between shots. Is this girl human?

“Dumb piece of shit hasn’t stopped smiling” I feel like Space Kid should inspire us all.

Nikki’s little speech here is exactly how I’m feeling rn.

Max likes reading! And there’s a genuine compliment!

“Oh no you don’t! You get your ass out of that trash can and start feeling happy!” The facade is off now. Shits gonna go down.

“Because I wanna start feeling happy!” almost made me cry. Max has gone from a person who wants everyone to be as unhappy as he is, to a person who wants to be as happy as everyone else is.

While I agree with Gwen here, that’s still a 10 year old.

I take that back, Max, that was mean.

“I don’t think you have to worry about changing. Something tells me you’re going to bitter and unhappy no matter what you do.” Oh, ouch. That resonated, and they both look regretful right after she finishes. I don’t think she meant it.

“Jesus Christ, it’s just a box of fucking clocks!!”

“The hell it isn’t! All I had to do was make one person feel better and I couldn’t even manage that!” BABY NOOOO. Kudos to Michael for that delivery, it almost sounds like he’s going to cry.

Way to ruin the mood, Campbell.

Campbell’s speech here is genuinely inspiring and very heartfelt. I actually really needed to hear this. Thank you, Campbell. I thought I’d never say that, but I have.

“So maybe there’s no need to rush anything. Sorry, Gwen.” Awww.

*looking at them smiling at each other* THIS EPISODE SAID MOMGWEN RIGHTS

THIS EPISODE SAID ‘PERFECT NUCLEAR FAMILY’ RIGHTS

Someone else pointed this out, but I’d like to put it here too. Gwen and Max don’t raise their hands. They both look slightly disappointed in the rest of the campers for not taking the message on board as much as they did.

“Did you just throw all your treasury bonds in the fire.”

“Mr Campbell no you have so much to live for!”

Yknow, I loved this episode. And I loved this season! But most of all, I loved interacting with all of you guys! This is the most active I’ve been in a fandom ever, and I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve made :)

[kariachi]

KevinepisodeKevinepisodeKevinepisode

We’re doing Kevins on this frabjous day, starting with the episode De-Fanged!.

Apparently my son is causing problems on purpose. We’re all shocked I’m sure.

And lo, but we are back to the wild world of laser tag.

VR laser tag, specifically, because apparently people were getting too much exercise during gameplay.

Maxwell Tennyson, bringing his grandkids to play laser tag despite them being banned. Asking that they please keep a low profile like Ben has ever kept a low profile in his life and Gwen isn’t the most competitive creature to have ever walked the face of this earth.

...nope, still not impressed by the concept. Sorry Ben.

The crowd standing there, oooing and ahhing over Fang, only for my son to arrive on the scene and take him out when he’s busy looking majestic and badass

Ben and Gwen, not even recognizing Kevin’s handle despite Ben competing with him online before, but still instinctively unimpressed.

Dude, Fang, you got taken out of a vr tournament not shot, fucking chill

You know, I still need a fic someday where the kids end up in a tag-team laser tag game again except this time it’s Ben and Kevin vs Gwen and Argit and Kevin just, isn’t even trying. Like, he fully believes they could beat Gwen and anyone else as long as they didn’t argue but Gwen and Argit he instinctively knows is an unbeatable combination. Most of the episode actually follows Gwen and Argit as they butt heads and ends with them being too busy arguing with each other to claim their prize so the boys steal it.

Anyway, hello, Kevin, my son, onscreen

The drama in Ben’s response to seeing Kevin. As I said before, these boys don’t have an ounce of chill between them.

Ben just straight up dropping Fang so he can confront Kevin properly.

“Anybody can beat you!” Them’s fightin’ words, Tennyson

Fang is fucking crying, dude, please, tell me you are not basing your selfworth on being able to beat an 11-yo at laser tag.

Kevin not even rubbing shit in, just wandering off to go defend his new title.

“Ben instead of focusing on you why don’t you focus on Fang?” Pan to show Fang leaned against a vending machine looking like he’s five and somebody just stole his favorite toy. “Yeah, Fang can totally help me destroy Kevin! Thanks Gwen!” And that is when Gwen realized she wanted to die.

Fang. Wtf. Get down off the vending machine, put your bigboy panties on, and start acting like the grown-ass man you are.

He is not doing any of those things.

Ben is heading into the game in pursuit of Kevin Destruction. Becuase the only thing these boys love more than anything is causing each other trouble. Ben tries to act like he doesn’t but, shit keeps happening.

Basically only one of them can be mature at any time.

All Tennysons are in.

.....

......

......

Y’all. My son. Should not be allowed. I do not even have words for the fucking 90′s inspired 80′s rocker bullshittery his avatar is, I cannot describe this. What is this child.

Score when the round is down to the top four remaining players is- Kevin with 788 points, Ben with 771, Gwen with 698, and Max with 556. So we know where the Tennyson cousins get it.

How many Kevins can we fit in one laser tag game? I believe we are about to learn

My child is going for drama now

Max and Gwen are down, only Kevin and Ben remain

“The Tri-Fang must be giving Kevin the upperhand!” No, Benjamin, he just hacked the game, and I am very proud of him.

Ben turns into Four Arms to even the playing field and a Kevin steals one of his blasters while he’s distracted.

And there go another two. Kevin is going to hold this numbers advantage thank you kindly.

Oh good lords he stole Ben’s blasters and went QuadSmack. I love this child y’all. I really do. He’s a menace.

Ya know I’d have thought you would’ve suspected Kevin was cheating before now, Gwen, given he came up behind you while you were watching him cross an open space

“At least Ben seems to be taking the loss well, I don’t hear any screams of agony. ... That’s probably bad.”

There the screaming is.

Oh gods Max is going to find a manager. This can’t end well. Also confirmation that his eyes are brown in the reboot, or at least this episode of it, who the fuck knows

Fake mustaches so they don’t get kicked out for being banned when they find a manager.

Meanwhile Ben is right back in the game, four lives left, out for Levin blood.

And lo, Ben is faced with the fact that he is now horribly outnumbered by Kevin. There are at least five Bashmouths here

And Ben is dead again, this time knowing that cheating is happening. Also he has been found by an employee. Thankfully the dude doesn’t care enough to look into if this is that banned kid

Oooo, suspicious managerial behavior

Minimum eight Kevins now, still only one Ben with three lives. Bashmouths vs Heatblast

The worst part is that Kevin could’ve beat this mess by now with Ben none the wiser, driving him completely around the gourd, but he didn’t because he’s a dramatic little shit

Take’s out a load of Kevins, thinks he’s good, only for another humany Kevin to pop up with a fire extinguisher. This is wonderful

We’re only halfway fucking through y’all

Ben is down to two lives

Gwen’s attempt at sneaking into the employees only area is so far a failure

Ben is down to one life

You cannot tell me the crowd doesn’t know something is up. And I’m fairly certain the staff are helping Kevin out. Why though? Personal vendetta against Fang? An attempt to shake things up? Blackmail? I mean if anyone on this show was going to both be involved with blackmail and be using it to win a laser tag tournament it’d be Kevin, I think we can all agree.

Fang, you came down off the fucking vending machine, good for you. Now get your janitor ass in the backroom and figure out what’s going on.

Fang please

He has given the Tennysons access to the backroom

Ooo, personal vendetta against Fang! Fang stole the title from this dude- on his birthday of all days- and when Kevin showed up going ‘I want the title, help me cheat’ he jumped at the opportunity!

Oh good lords Manager Scottie is Fang’s son! What a twist!

...well this is awkward

Huh.

Every time Fang calls Kevin ‘Kalvin’ I wanna throw a packing peanut at him

Armored!Rath just, is ugly as original sin, can I just say it? Ugly as original sin

Oh look, Kevin’s self-worth issues coming out in the heat of the moment. As soon as there’s anything resembling a statement that he can’t do something, he’s ready to take off a head.

Ooo, and Scottie gives control of the extra Kevins over to Max and Gwen.

Honestly I’m amazed Kevin’s watch lasted as long as it did. He’s really getting it working how he wants it.

My son is a disaster

Everything gets finished with, people are hugging and shit, Kevin walks onscreen with a bowl of nachos, goes ‘nope’, turns around and walks away

And the Tennysons are still banned.

8.7/11

[raging-violets]

The hopeless romantic in me tells me 51 or 23, but whatever you choose to write will be great :)

A/N: The hopeless romantic in me just decided to put both together. Lol. So numbers 23 and 51 for Kiley ended up being, “Just pretend to be my date.” And “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.” So I likened this to feel like it could be an extension of an episode of the show, as if the Jacksons were actually there but still hold onto that romantic element I love to stick them in, rather than something more serious and angsty between Kiley as I tend to write. What do you think? Would it fit in the episode? Did it sound like it would?

Stealth edit: Tumblr’s formatting is killing me!!!

Tag: @pearlselegancies @witchofinterest @foxesandmagic @mystic-scripture

Kendall wondered how his life could get much worse. If it wasn’t for the “horsey back ride” he’d been forced into when Bobby leapt onto his back at the beginning of the day, which he was still feeling the effects of, it was definitely seeing the look on Bobby’s face when Katie had bid her brother goodbye to go to the park.

If it were possible to have heart eyes, that was look Bobby had given Katie. Or, the thought that made Kendall shudder every time it slammed into his brain, Bobby saw Katie walking in slow motion with her hair blowing back from her face and the 70s-esque guitar solo playing in his head. It upset Kendall to no end.

But the cover of Pop Tiger was important to him, to the band, just as Kendall was important to Katie. He knew it was only a matter of time until she agreed to let Bobby hang out with them so that their band could succeed. And she did it with a gritted-tooth smile…until he tried to kiss her. And she punched him, and he ran off sulking. And they raced around the Palm Woods trying to find him, sending Annie Windsor, the editor of Pop Tiger, on a wild goose chase to convince her they were playing hide and seek.

It was one thing to see guys start to notice his baby sister, fans of his that may have mentioned it here and there—they were far enough away that he didn’t have to worry about it. It was one thing to see guys stop and stare as they walked down the street—he could glare at them and they’d turn away in shame. It was another thing to have Bobby turn around and shriek-ask in a way that only an obnoxious teenage boy could, “Whoa, who was that?”

“My sister, Katie,” he’d replied simply, only for his eyes to widen in horror when Bobby continued with, “Dude, hook me up!”

“No!” He practically yelped. “You won a date with me…not my sister.”

“And now I want to date your sister. She’s smokin’ hot!”

But all of that was pushed aside when Katie finally agreed to dance with Bobby at least once during the party if he apologized for trying to kiss her, making her punch him. Bobby quickly agreed, practically squealing, “Thanks, Kendall, for the best day ever!” as he glomped him in another ‘horsey back’ ride.

The relief hit him then, all the stress of the day melted away, knowing he managed to turn the day around and save the cover for himself and his friends. It was music to his ears when Anne Windsor said, “Okay, well, let’s get a photo and let’s get to the party,” and he posed for a photo that would be placed along the pages of Pop Tiger to accompany the article of their day.

Then everything  turned to horror when Bobby rotated toward Kendall with wide, innocent eyes, (Kendall wondered if Bobby was possessed) and said, “You want me to hook you up with someone? Now that I’m Katie’s date?”

Kendall’s eyes widened, Katie’s face screwed up in confusion, and Anne Windsor nodded, tapping her pen against her cheek as she said, “That’s right, now Kendall doesn’t have a date.”

“Well, uh, it’s not like we can't…just…” Kendall looked to Katie for some help, for an excuse to keep from having to deal with the same drama all over again. She made a face and shrugged in response, gently shaking her head. An image of another Bruna flashed before Kendall’s eyes, making him stammer. “Share Bobby as our date, right? I mean, there’s enough for him to go around!”

“I’m sure there is,” Anne Windsor replied with a tight laugh. “But we’re not that kind of magazine.”

Kendall’s face screwed up as he mulled over her words. Katie shrugged as she was swept away by Anne and her photographer, taking pictures of her and Bobby as they went. Kendall forced a smile in response; part of him hating the fact that Katie was going on a date, part of him wondering how Patrick was going to take it, and part of him wondering how he was going to get out of this problem.

He spun around at the sound of someone coming down the swirly slide, watching when it spilled Riley to the floor. She pulled herself up and brushed off the seat of her pants. “Hey,” she said, shooting him a tiny glare, “Did you find Bobby?”

“Yep!” Kendall paused for a second. “And I need you to pretend to be my date.”

Riley’s head jerked back, her face screwing up into an expression that was a mixture of disbelief and confusion. “What?” She paused and lifted a finger, pointing at him. “Wait, is this still about getting on the cover of Pop Tiger?” She eyed him warily when he pointed finger guns at her. “You’re not going to throw me into the bloody pool again, are you? I finally got dry.”

“First, I’m sorry about that.” Kendall held his hands up defensively, almost as if he were about to make the sing of the cross to keep her from lunging at him. (Not that he truly though it’d be a problem. She did have some devious tendencies, and he swore he’d only seen silhouette of devil horns and tail in her shadow once). “But we did end up finding Bobby.”

“Oh yeah?” She folded her arms, looking at him seriously. “Where?”

“In the swirly slide!” Kendall leaned over and patted the top of the swirly slide, the tube making a hollow 'thunk’ sound as he did so. “Turns out he really could live in there. And I need you to pretend to be my date.”

“I caught that the first time, Hockey-Head,” Riley said. She twirled her fingers in the air. “Still trying to figure out how everything came to that point. I must’ve missed that while I had my head underwater.”

“Your head’s underwater on a daily basis,” Kendall replied. His eyes scoured the floor for the tell-tale sign she’d been to the beach. “You’re just not leaving a trail of sand this time.”

She rolled her eyes. “Kendall.”

“What?”

“The party?”

“Right! So…” and Kendall explained everything that had happened the whole day since he’d unceremoniously pushed her into the pool so that she and her sarcasm didn’t ruin the carefully crafted ruse he’d put up for Bobby’s disappearance. “And now Katie’s going to the party with him as a date, and now I need to find one before we can’t share Bobby because they’re not 'that kind of magazine’,” he used air quotes around the words, noticing her blue eyes bobbing in sync with his hand movements. “And I need to so we can move up Pop Tiger’s mega…something…” he didn’t care to know what it was anymore. “And I’m tired of Gustavo and Kelly constantly asking me what’s going on with Jo being in New Zealand, and being asked in interviews if I’m dating, I’m tired of Carlos hugging me,” Kendall’s eyes closed into a pained expression. “And I’m tired of Logan’s puppet shows!” He took a deep breath, feeling all the tension release from his shoulders. Wow…how long had he bene holding all of that in? “Just pretend to be my date,” he said. “And we can get through this day and forget it.”

Riley looked at him for a long moment. “Okay,” she said simply.

Kendall blinked in surprise. “Okay?” He repeated. He looked at her suspiciously. “You’re not going to make this hard? Make fun of me in some way?”

“I reckon you’ve already had a long day, Hockey-Head,” Riley replied with a smirk. “I don’t need to make it any more entertaining.” Her smirk eased into a soft expression. One he couldn’t quite place. She shrugged, saying, “But why pretend? We always have fun when we go to things like this.”

“Yeah,” Kendall agreed, his voice growing as soft as her expression. His eyebrows furrowed, unsure of what he was feeling. Of why Jo wasn’t the first thing that popped into his mind as it would have a month before. “We do,” he agreed, speaking almost to himself. He hummed quietly. “Wow.”

“What?” She asked.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner,” he said. “To just have you be my date for the day, instead of having to deal with this stupid contest.” He picked up the discarded Pop Tiger issue that announced the contest, shaking his head at the image on the cover. “Win A Date with Big Time Rush,” he read aloud. “Spend a day with the boys at the world famous PalmWoods. And wrap up your date with a Big Time Party in the very studio where the guys record their hits. Only the boys’ biggest fans will win.” He shook his head, tossing the magazine away. “Why look when our biggest fan is right here?” He gestured toward her.

“How’d you know I’d say yes, then?” she asked.

“Because I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking,” Kendall replied.

Silence stretched between them. A sort of tension growing that he hadn’t noticed—or had noticed and wouldn’t entertain while Jo was around—before. Riley blinked slowly. Tilted her head. Eyed him closely. Let out a low breath as she reached up to run a hand through her hair, brushing her strand of red hair from her dark blue eyes that practically pierced through him.

“And how’s that?” She finally asked.

“Happy,” he said honestly.

“It doesn’t take much for you to make me happy, Hockey-Head,” she said, just as honestly. In an almost rare sort of honesty that not any others were able to see, but she allowed him to. The sincere honesty—he didn’t have to question it, knew from how quickly she responded to him that made him smile gently. Hell, he had to do his best not to grin like a loon, dimples forming in his cheeks.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Riley grinned back. She lifted her chin, slightly turned her head away, looked him in the eye, her own flashing with amusement that made him gently roll his eyes, knowing her response was coming before she even said it. “Why do you think?”

[numberonepapermaker32]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Omnibus Vol. 1 Review

SPOILER ALERT!!!

01. All’s Fair

The opening story of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Omnibus Vol. 1. It was nice to hear/see Spike and Dru's dialogs, but there wasn't that much more to the story except it was another one of their adventures. I was kinda misled to believe it would be set during the Boxer Rebellion, but instead, the time of it was the Chicago World's Fair in the 1930s. It was short and not that fun, the theme of the crazy scientist with a wondrous machine was even a bit silly. I didn't much enjoy the artwork, either. Spike and Dru don't look like themselves from the show. All in all, a quick and somewhat fun read. 

02. The Origin

I loved this volume!! I have yet to watch the Buffy movie, somehow I can't make myself. So keep in mind I read this without knowing the plot and the facts from it. Buffyverse Wikia says how this comic is ''considered the canon story that replaces the events of this movie,'' so it's fair to say it gives us the whole backstory of Buffy's life prior to coming to Sunnydale. It shows Buffy already fighting vampires and eventually finding out about her Slayer destiny. We get the complete info because, on the show, they glossed over that part: how Buffy was quick in adjusting to this new life, figuring out how in order to beat more vampires at once, she should seek a priest to bless water for her to use, etc. Just as with Melaka Fray, here we see how Potentials transform into Slayers, being quick on their minds and feet. Another important part was how she tried to talk to the school's guidance counselor about vampires and the dreams she'd been having, and he didn't even listen to her but instead talked about himself. This is indicative and shows some good foreshadowing for the show. It tells us at this very beginning how no one will believe Buffy to be a sane person when she mentions these ''shadow activities'' of hers. The word crazy gets tossed around a lot, which I strongly dislike. I hate the stereotypical gender roles that Buffyverse keeps on projecting. The girls are pretty and dumbsih, the boys want sex with the pretty girls. Other than that, I really enjoyed this issue. Very much so!!

03. Viva Las Buffy

Wow, this issue was excellent!! Really fast-paced and I read it in a single breath! It's a prequel with more of Buffy's backstory, but also Angel's and Giles's, which I loved! Randomly picked thoughts: 01. The only thing I HATED about this issue is Pike. I mean, he's utterly horrible! Again, Buffyverse displays some stereotypical gender roles, and those are painfully obvious in this story. Pike is constantly whining and worrying about how Buffy will not like him and how he's a nuisance when we know as well as he does, Buffy doesn't need that kind of crap in her newfound life as a Slayer! I mean, the dude tries to kill himself in front of Buffy and actually thinks it's a good idea and a valid way to help her because he's so self-involved!!! Thank the heavens he leaves at the end, urgggh. 02. Dawn is in this comic, which I'm not sure how I feel about, and it also contradicts the show and movie (as Wikia suggests). I don't like her as a character on the show, except for when she is there for Buffy emotionally. 03. There are many scenes in this issue, as well as the next one, where we get info about the marriage between Joyce and Hank. It's difficult to read, really, knowing what we know after we've seen the show. The strain is huge, and Hank is strict, cold, and distant. 04. I loved to see how Giles became Buffy's Watcher. The use of Dark Magics is also indicative and comes full circle in the episode about his Ripper days, The Dark Age. Oh, and Wesley and Gwendolyn Post are also here! :) 05. Angel's story is quirky, so to speak. He follows Buffy to Las Vegas to watch over her (as we learned on the show from his talk from Whistler). He calls himself Angelus for some reason... Like, doesn't that only happen when he's soulless? Whatever. Then he gets into this messy situation with the casino manager regarding his vampire factory and ends up going through a temporal portal that leads him back to the manager's backstory. It was so fun when he said ''...So would someone like to tell me why I'm the only thing here in color?'' LoL, way to be meta, Angel. This is a great comic and I would recommend it to all Buffy fans!!

04. Dawn and Hoopy the Bear

Oh my everloving lord, was this bad!!! Like, why would someone write and publish this in an otherwise great series!?? I'm only giving it 3 instead of 2 stars because the artwork is amazing. But seriously! Some guy who we don't even get to meet chants and calls upon a demon* to curse a teddy bear into killing the Slayer. A teddy bear. A. TEDDY. BEAR. Without knowing who or where the Slayer is. Dawn is just as irritating as on the show, yelling ''What about ME?'' All right already... The nice thing is that the bear protects Dawn because Buffy ran away to Las Vegas, so it's a lovely touch. The parents are getting more distant, so Dawn is kinda alone. Oh, but then?? The ending? The freaking ending?! ''...He came to life and became a real bear. But he turned out to be a naughty bear...'' ''Oh, Dawny, what an imagination you have!'' AND THEN: THE END!! And we see the bear sitting in a dark alley with a beer in his hand. Sorry, paw. WHAAAAAAT??! I mean, was this supposed to be funny?? It's horribly sad and wrong and why am I even thinking about this bear and why does this idiotic story bother me so much?? Omg... * The demon at the beginning looks a lot like the Asphyx demon that gave Spike a soul at the end of s06 of the show. I asked the folks over on reddit about it, but so far haven't gotten an answer. IF ANYBODY KNOWS ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS :)

05. Slayer, Interrupted

Yeah, this is the best installment in the Omnibus vol.1 collection, mainly because it completes everyone's backstory prior to the show's s01, after they all arrive in Sunnydale. This volume is set around Buffy's time in the mental institution which we learned about in s06 of the show, this gives us details. Basically, Dawn being Dawn, the insufferable idiot she is, goes on and reads Buffy's diary which makes their parents decide to send Buffy to a mental hospital. She can't possibly be sane if she's writing about vampires, right?? Urghh, Dawn. Anyway, the doctors set a diagnosis of a ''severe neuroses paranoia'' and ''a Messiah complex.'' Then they go on to decide she should get medication prior to electro-shock treatment. OMG... Like, did they actually do that stuff in the 90es still?? Eventually, we find out that, of course, the asylum is laden with the supernatural. The head doctor turns out to be the Rakagore demon who sires teenage brides. Yuck, again with this gender stereotype crap. BUT! This episode does raise some interesting foreshadowing. Buffy's problem with authority and the almost complete lack of faith from adults in general. There's this scene where she describes her childhood with her father. He reads her Alice in Wonderland (of course, what else, geez) and she then felt safe. The symbolism is clear even for Buffy and she raises an excellent point of how the word 'crazy' is just awful and plain wrong. Random thoughts: 01. Giles's story of passing this super-difficult test by facing his inner demons, or rather his younger self was kinda weak. However, I was happy to see how he and Buffy have other things in common, here namely father figure issues. 02. We get this short glimpse of Sunnydale Hight with Cordelia and Willow and that makes me super happy!! I wish there was more! 03. There's a couple of scenes with Angel and Whistler that are completely unnecessary because they give us no exposition whatsoever. 04. There's this great foreshadowing at the end when Buffy visits Alice in the hospital and offers her a Doublemeat burger.

[alltingfinns]

A Scandal in Belgravia

So I’m back on this.

The swoosh on some sped up footage in the previously, don’t remember noticing that.

This episode’s start gets so much funnier if you read some of the fic written between this and the previous episode.

Silly song now becomes more dramatic in TRF.

What did Irene offer Jim to get him so riled up? If it’s the plot plane plan that would explain why Sherlock is needed alive. But his emotional reaction... maybe he’s already been trying to get it on his own. Indicates possibly that Jim has been looking for a way to get to Mycroft.

“You’re typing a lot.”

This montage is nicely done.

Arguing about the blog.

The pouncing on the title.

He’s so hurt. He knows ash!

“We do watch the news.”

“You said boring and switched the channel.”

First time where “people” = John.

And the hat.

“It’s time.” I never thought about the waiting period.

Ehh, Hudson called up to the next floor so John’s room? Boys?

Ha cool, a SAAB. An old one too. I’d guess a 900 model from the early nineties.

Lestrade probably makes these calls a lot.

I get Sherlock’s confusion, he’s just in a sheet it’d make sense for him to be humiliated.

Their silent conversation + John’s acceptance of the absurdity.

That was a pretty long look on Sherlock’s lap and then asking about pants.

The Swedish subtitles on Netflix just referred to John as ”kronans gosse” I love it!

John took the queen liking his blog as a point in their argument.

I always like looking at John during the sheet bit.

Mycroft and John conversing in subtext that you need to remember their original conversation from a whole series/three episodes ago. And people think johnlock is too subtextual.

They made “the woman” a work title clearly to explain why Sherlock would refer to her that way. A bit harder to work in the context from ACD canon. It would be weird if Sherlock in modern times went “a credit to your gender” for defeating him.

Sherlock’s reaction Mycroft’s veiled assertion settles the question, I think. He’s making a “damn, he’s got me there” face. Mainly because John’s presence, if we considers his previous statement. If it were just him and Mycroft he’d just say “just because I haven’t done it doesn’t mean I can’t understand it!”

Btw, in case you think my typing speed is phenomenal I am hitting pause when something gets really interesting to me.

The parallel of checking the pictures have the “obvious” reading of romantic set up. But Sherlock is still learning details of a case he has been given so another reading is that while he’s targeting her she’s targeting him.

My reading is backed up by Sherlock’s immediate demeanor. His interest in her didn’t really appear until he found out she didn’t ask for anything. Blackmailers are a dime a dozen, but someone making a point of threat against the reputation of the BRF without asking for direct compensation? That’s someone with a plan and someone who can give him the kick he feeds of from casework.

John getting the last word in only for Sherlock to get the laterer word in.

Pinching an ashtray from the aforementioned BRF, whom himself mentioned as his first client with a navy, just to make John laugh? Some things are priceless but for everything else there’s MasterCard.

Okay, I had to back up a bit but: I don’t know who’s getting these pictures for Irene, but the last one that makes her smile is focused on John. She sees Sherlock more naked in the pictures where he’s fully clothed in the back of a cab than when he was in just a sheet on the pavement.

More parallels. This is really about their similarities. Could still be considered romantic foreshadowing “they’re made of the same cloth” type.

Ah yes, punch me.

That little dialogue snippet about “punch me” usually being subtext is what got me to first watch this show.

In general I have a lot of issues with how they handled Irene. But I especially don’t think I get the nudity in this scene. It reveals to Sherlock immediately that his ruse was all in vain since she either a) knew he was coming anyway or b) usually greet priests in distress while stark naked and might therefor just be stark raving.

Unflappable John Watson. Oh dear, my flat mate who I just beat up is sitting in front of a naked dominatrix with his vicar collar between her teeth. “I’ve missed something, haven’t I?”

He doesn’t like being a third wheel either. “I had tea too! Just so you know. In case you thought Sherlock got tea at the palace by himself. I was there too. The tea was lovely. Just the right temperature.”

Dammit.

Now I want tea.

Wait wait wait! When did John put his “date” shoes on? Only time it makes sense is when Sherlock was looking through his disguises. (He definitively wouldn’t wear them to traipse around the muddy crime scene.) Maybe they’re part of his “battle uniform”? Also obviously Sherlock can only “deduce” date because he knows what shoes John wears on dates. This isn’t really clothed people are easier to deduce.

How is he not deducing the heck out of her make up and ear piercing? Is it because she’s acting so extraordinary that her indicators become harder to contextualise?

Or is that whole thing just a plot hole?

And her comes her actual opening chess move. Nudity and banter was just setting up the pieces.

“Somebody loves you.” She pressed John’s big red “DO NOT PRESS” button right away. Later she says Jim told her how to play the Holmes brothers, but he definitively gave some pointers on John as well.

There’s something about John’s facial movements when Irene says he knows exactly where to look. Hard to compare with the sheet scene because of the different angles. But yeah, John is bi.

“You do borrow my laptop” with such an angry glare.

Wait are Irene’s shoes those shoes that are expensive because they’re red on the bottom? (I do not care enough to google their names.)

And it’s when John starts to smile that Sherlock does his verbal keysmash. Officially Ben said it was because Irene was paying attention to John instead of him, but she does that a number of times previously and has had quite a moment of getting cosy at John. But up until then John has been a bit standoffish. Of course you can only take so much of a pretty lady flirting with you before your smile reflex gets activated. Also he whips his head immediately at Sherlock in medical concern for his friend and Sherlock can speak clearly again.

Sherlock thinks he knows her game now as he makes his move getting her to confirm that the pictures are in the room.

Imagine the egg on his face if John hadn’t managed the smoke alarm in time.

“Amazing how fire exposes our priorities” should be part of a collection of lines that are only said once but thematically repeated throughout the show.

Some would argue maybe “I really hope you don’t have a baby in there” could be added but I don’t think it could be considered as repeated enough thematically.

Sherlock being his usual demanding self about turning off the fire alarm. The fool! Doesn’t he know how hard fire alarms are to turn off? (Maybe just a problem for me...)

Okay sure, easy enough with a gun, but impractical as a long term solution.

Umm, excuse me why does he go “no disrespect but you were clearly born in the 80s” in an episode from 2012? The most she’d be is 32, so clearly she looks at most like that then. Why would she be insulted by that? Also he earlier called a dude unhealthy, stupid and with bad breath in front of him without clarifying level of respect. So basically he’s needling her by adding that. That’s the most positive spin it can get.

John apologising for not stopping /forewarning about a whole bunch of trained killers sweeping in? That is diehard loyalty.

She’s staring hard at him as fire exposes his priority.

She actually does give him a clue by looking down the moment he looks at her. Never thought of that.

He heard something click wrong, looked at her for additional clue so she looks to the side “get out of the way”.

I love that John’s priority is medically inclined in the action scene, checking the vital signs of the guy that got shot.

“Observant?” “Flattered?” Honestly he shouldn’t be so surprised by the first bit as it was obvious some kind of observation + deduction got Sherlock the code.

As usual Sherlock gives zero fucks about gun safety. I feel John at some point is going to tie him down and lecture him about it. “We do not scratch our heads with the barrel of a gun, and we don’t call for the police by shooting in the air!”

You know if you’re knocking him out cold regardless, you don’t need him to drop the phone first. You just wanted the beating to be literal.

“He’ll be fine. I’ve used it on loads of my friends.” Yeah no, tell the doctor what chemical knockout drug you just put in a former drug addict!!

I wonder how much of dream Adler is actual Adler speaking to a drugged out Sherlock.

Could be nothing with the only real part being “hush now, returning your coat”. Would make sense for a dreaming brain to jumble the two cases together.

Start of series 2 we get to see Sherlock’s bedroom while John’s remain a mystery after 4 series.

John is not on the top of his game this episode. “What woman?”

And so it begins.

Mycroft does not have “shut up Hudson” privilege.

That whole phone noise discussion is punctuated with embarrassment.

Ah the gaping jaw that set the sails for the lestrolly ship.

“Christmas is canceled!” I love when John banters with Sherlock.

Sherlock is mean to Molly, but to be fair she kind of blundered a bit with the others and Sherlock complaining about John being away was clearly something he told in confidence. Telling Greg and John that their loved ones are betraying the trust put in them is general misanthropy, but Sherlock probably feels justified in needling Molly about a crush that he figures none of them know anyway.

Oh John’s look there. Greg clearly knows too what is coming but John has the recognition factor.

“Oh shit. It was me. Still me? She still has a thing for me?”

For a sort of dramatic moment it still has one of John’s absolutely funniest facial journeys. “Wait, you apologised? You know what an apology is? Are you feeling well?”

Obviously Irene’s text signal gets a lot of funny moments, but nothing will beat the timing of this one. And now I am imagining Jim with a pair of binoculars sitting across the street and telling Irene “now, send it now, it’ll be fucking priceless!”

And Greg “wait really?” When you’re not sure what your consultant can do to surprise you next.

I believe I made a post about it earlier but Jeanette’s boyfriend just said he’s been keeping track up till 57 on text messages that his platonic flat mate gets where the signal is a woman moaning.

“Do you ever reply?”

Jeanette starts working on her break up speech about then, I believe.

Molly nervously gulps a drink. Now Molly is everyone’s favorite John mirror. Medical professional with a crush on Sherlock, and whose favored type of outfit involves knitwear. John usually takes a drink at emotionally difficult times. Is this Molly handling her rejection, or showing what John is doing/will do without showing John?

Mycroft. If they passed a new law why would Sherlock know about it before you?

“How did Sherlock recognize her from... not-her-face?”

Mycroft answers with a smile and leaving the room.

“I got plans”

“No” I know you. If it’s a date you’ve probably bungled it already. Regardless if it is or isn’t you’ll still prioritize my brother because you always do.

John really goes for the superconfident strategy when dating, huh? “I always thought I was great.”

“I’ll even walk your dog!”

“I don’t have a dog!”

“No, because that was the last one...”

Always thought you were a great boyfriend, huh?

When even your landlady who got out of her marriage through execution thinks you bungled it, you probably bungled it.

Think I’ll break here and continue the rest of the episode tomorrow.

[jq37]

May we have a recap, please? :)

**spoilers for panic at the art show and home for the holidays**

OK people. I actually don’t have a ton of commentary on these two so I’m gonna try and keep it (relatively) short and sweet [Edit from Future Me: Failed Step 1].

Also, iirc, this is the week Dropout starts streaming new Fantasy High eps on Wednesdays which is very dope and I am very excited for. I probably won’t do full on recaps like I do for normal eps because, lbr, I don’t strictly have the time to be recapping these eps at all and it’s pure stubbornness that keeps me from making wiser time management decisions. But, rest assured, if I have an Opinion, you will hear it whether you want to or not. 

Anyway, on with the show. 

Last recap, I mentioned that this ep was giving me Aelwen house party vibes and now it reminds me of that ep in another way: Everyone rolled like TRASH almost the entire ep. It was so frustrating! They barely got any hits in until like halfway through the ep.

(Aw man, I just realized I’m gonna have to remember which spelling of Aelwen is correct again now that FH is coming back.)

I love how Murph is immediately like, “I need to make sure my wife doesn’t die during this fight avenging her fictional husband.”

Isabella also has Aelwen’s trick of poofing around the battlefield which is annoying as hell (ha) for the group.

Siobhan hilariously casts fear on Priya just to be spiteful. I thought she was doing it to help the evac process but no. It was a purely spiteful action. Bless. 

When Kug turns into an ape he, of course, turns into *the* NY ape, King Kong. 

“I roll a nat 20 on an epic shit.”

When Brennan was describing Kingston’s spectral New Yorker Guardians I was already thinking about that one part of Spiderman 2 (the OG Toby Mac version) and then he straight up said, “You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us,” and I lost it.

“Deny the stairs the pleasure of my feet.” Emily is a poet.

I want to know what makes a pigeon spicy more than anything. 

The fact that Brennan killed Ox AGAIN and then immediately looked into the camera and let the audience know the dog was fine because he clearly Oracle stared into the future between eps and saw the entire internet sharpening their pitchforks  was so funny. 

About midway through the ep, Pete tries and fails to send Isabella back to hell and Isabella starts monologing about her plans and connection with Robert Moses (she stole the list from Santa and is/was gonna marry Moses apparently). I wonder if Brennan was like, “These players are for sure gonna murder her without getting any useful info out of her unless she goes full Bond Villain right now.”

And, proving my point, Emily immediately does 56 points of damage, royally f-ing Isabella up. 

This is a really civilian heavy fight which feels weird in a way the FH fights never did. Like, these aren’t even civilians who live in an adventuring town in a fantasy world. These are just normal ass civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Pete fails a wild magic roll after failing to teleport into the building and then gets a choice of getting really strong (which prob would have let him bust down the door) or to teleport in (which is what he does and exactly what he wanted). Very clutch when the dice rolls play into the story like that.

Kingston lightning bolts Isabella’s hair off which is just malicious but also totally called for.

On her next turn, Sophie gets hurt on purpose to get low enough to activate her ring, lets her hair burn for long enough to shorten it to a cute bob, insults Isabella, then knocks her tf out. 

I love that Emily took one of her teeth (a seemingly crazy move) and when called out by Lou was like, “It’s a link to Robert Moses” (a completely reasonable answer). That’s the Axford one-two punch.  

I didn’t mention it before but, Willie the golem is here, first immobile but then brought back by Misty. Post fight, he says he was somehow brought here by one of the evil factions of the city and says they’ll talk about it later. Also, Misty makes out with him (DON’T KINKSHAME HER).

With a high insight roll, Kingston is able to deduce that the group was ambushed (though not by Priya) and that their victory was a really important one for the fate of the city. 

(Sidenote: The amount that Pete is Over Priya in this ep is so funny.)

Back at Wally’s (which is where Kug is now staying) Wally has gotten Kug a dog bed to sleep in and fancy charcuterie cheese because he and Ricky are the only pure-hearted people in NYC. 

At the same time, Pete and Kingston have a very sweet heart to heart and then settle down at Kingston’s place to chill and listen to jazz. Idk how else we expected this to resolve, considering this is a Brennan Lee Mulligan DM’d show where the sacred pillars are Teamwork, Friendship, Communication, and Making up an NPC on the Fly Because One of Your PC’s Decided to do an Insane Thing. 

Next up is the Christmas ep and Brennan, Emily, and Zac are in sweaters for the occasion. 

Well,actually it’s the 21st and Emily immediately clocks that that’s the solstice. 

Are cookies the good carb?/Absolutely not. But have fun with your life. (I love Ricky’s soft jock energy.)

“I run deliveries,” Pete says to Kingston’s parents, not technically lying but also not being completely truthful. Misty would be proud. 

Going over to Misty, it seems pretty clear at this point (and it’s confirmed in the promo for next ep) that Misty’s fairy business is some kind of de-aging/reincarnation for herself. I wonder how many of these she’s done so far. She said she’s been around for, what? 200, 300 years? Assuming she’s been doing then reincarnations at about 65-70 years old and she reincarnates to around 25? Maybe 6 times? Idk. Just spitballing. 

Saucer of milk to keep the faeries from stealing her (non-existing) children. Faerie lore is wild y'all. 

Did you take another level of warlock?/Yeah bitch.

The fact that since Sophie has joined a monastery, she’s only taken Warlock levels and no Monk levels is very funny from a story perspective. It’s like, she finally comes to this sacred place to be trained to her full potential and she’s just spending what should be her sparring time playing with her cat in exchange for spells. Wild. 

Emily’s cat-like, self-satisfied grin when Brennan is like, “So you just jerry-rigged yourself clairvoyance powers, huh?” is so good. 

And she did it on the fly because Emily Axford is winning D&D. There are no points but she’s winning.

So, uh, Emily does, two things, very in character right after the other:

Thing number one: She send her unseen servant to spy on her family. Her dad seems hardline, “F, Dale. Whatever. Family first. She needs to get over it.” On the other side of the spectrum is her mom who is very upset about the whole affair with her siblings falling in the middle. 

The second thing she does, very casually I might add, is have her unseen servant BURN DOWN HER HOUSE SO SHE CAN COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUD.

EMILY

Everyone loses their minds and rightfully so. What a wild-ass swing that no one could have seen coming. I love it. 

“I look in my backpack which is now my home[…]" 

I almost forgot that Ricky was a fire fighter who would not abide that nonsense until Brennan decided to cut to him. 

Ricky just dolphin swims across the Hudson in 2.5 mins to go put out the fire that Sophie set. Amazing. 

Ally mocking Emily/Sophie: Truthfully, I don’t know what happened.

"I love John McClane, because he loves his wife.” WALLY

Wally: Oh we’re gonna tell a lie on Christmas.

“This is what winning looks like.”

I would really like to know what trace stuff what on the drugs Pete got from 7 but Ally rolled too low to figure it out.

“I disassociate fully." 

Well it took him a long ass time but glad to have Pete on the selling drugs to kids is bad train. Choo-choo, dude. 

7 saying you can hack in real life in reference to his AK-47 has the same energy as Hardison using the word hack in literally any semi-weird episode of Leverage. 

SOCIAL MEDIA IS VOLUNTARY PANOPTICON

So Kug goes with Wally to David���s house disguised as a dog and, despite that, blurts out that he’s his dad immediately. Well, he tries to. The Umbral Arcana stops him, unfortunately. 

"I lick my son’s face.” KUUUUG. 

Sophie showing up with a raw goose and hellish rebuking it is so metal and it’s a shame no one got to appreciate it. 

Me when Sophie’s Mom changes into black top in solidarity for Sophie’s mourning: F EVERY OTHER NON-SOPHIE BICICLETA. I RESPECT YOU. 

Kingston is hustling very hard to get his man Pete a job which is a very Kingston move. That’s how guys like that show affection. 

Didn’t mention it before but Kingston’s parents and Mom specifically adopting Pete is very cute. 

Sidenote: Idk what 7 was talking about Pete trying to stay low profile. He wears a cowboy hat (now a ZEBRA STRIPED one, courtesy of Kingston). I think the subtlety train has sailed my guy. 

Esther shows up at the firehouse, carrying presents for her mom and grandma and looking for Ricky. The says that she’s kinda dealing with something and it feels good to be around him (beat) magically speaking. Sure. I’m gonna keep my Hercules soundtrack on hand just in case anyway. 

I think Ricky is the only person who, with no pretense, could give his crush a sexy calendar featuring him.

Anyway, turns out Esther’s mom and grandma are the furies of Tompkins Square and she’s fated to join them or something. 

Esther causally: I defy you, I defy the prophecy.

The fury thing would explain why Esther’s mom would have cursed Kug. They are famously magical punishers.  

Ricky is a magically certified Good Boy but we been knew.

Zac’s restraint to respect Esther’s personal boundaries in lieu of getting a lore drop to stay true to Ricky’s character is amazing. Mad props.

So we slide over to Misty’s Christmas party which Stephen Sondhein is attending and him having a character card kinda killed me. 

There’s a post on tumblr somewhere about playing faerie  incapability for impoliteness against a vampires need to be invited in and that’s what I thought about when Moses and his vamp friends showed up at Misty’s house.

Robert tries to talk Misty into striking a deal with him for protection from Titania. She’s very much not having it.  

“You know Robert, I love a comedy and I love a farce. I’d like to remind you of who it is that started this and it’s not me and it’s not my friends but I can assure you Robert Moses that we will be the ones to end it if you do not. Do you understand me?” Damn. That’s a mic drop from Misty. 

[As I’m editing this, I’m realizing I somehow lost a BIG chunk of text. I’m not gonna write it all up again but the Cliffnotes are as follows:

Between the Solstice and Christmas, the gang goes Grand Central Station to see the clockwork gnomes that live there because trouble is apparently afoot. Some size changing nonsense happens and Pete shoots a dog (with mini bullets, the dog is fine). Lou is enchanted even though Kingston is not (a common theme with him). Ally and Emily are on the same nonsense wavelength (as usual). 

There are dope magical dragon trains under Grand Central Station that go to the shadow realm which is a place I’d like to know about. Kingston has never seen these trains before even though you’d really think he would have.  

Murph says Gnome Rights which is wild if you know what Naddpod is like. 

Anyway, the high priestess of the gnomes passed out the other day and they figure out it was due to pixie magic which is suspicious. They also know they pixies have access to a “time stone” which leads me to believe that it’s Brennan and not Aguefort who thinks that Chronomancy is the most powerful magic of all. 

Sophie and Jackson go to Dale’s grave on Christmas. Jackson explains that the Order of the Concrete Fist is basically a literal school of hard knocks. A counterbalance to all the reach for the stars dreaminess that comes with NYC.

Dale was their chosen one who was supposed to stop the monastery from falling when some unspecified badness crossed over to this side, but when he went to the place where he was supposed to get guidance, there was no one there (clearly tying in to what Dale said to Sophie last time they talked. I wonder what she needs to get to the top of? Empire State maybe?).

Watching Murph watching Emily, his real life spouse, play at grief for her fictional husband and do some truly insane things is so funny because you can clearly see him thinking, “I am married to this woman,” which, in fairness, is probably the main thing he’s thinking when he’s playing D&D with Emily.

I’m probably missing something but that’s all I remember. Back to post-Christmas!]

So it’s opening night at Misty’s show and, somehow, Ricky’s first show ever. 

I love that Don Confetti is there because of Siobhan’s offhanded comment for a handful of eps ago about him being a supporter of the arts.

Anyway, everything is going great until the second act when Titania busts in through the mirror which is *not* is storage as Misty requested but on stage. It’s a theater fight, y'all! And not the West Side Story kind although if that doesn’t come up I will be very surprised. 

“Let’s kill Titania!” –Misty in the promo

Just going straight to 11, huh Misty?

See y'all then!

[diminuel]

15x11 rewatch! Let’s go! It’s again, very long, so read below the cut!

My recap of last week to orient myself: We’ve seen Sam and Dean struggle with issues that they usually don’t have. Garth’s theory is that they are now faced with “normal people problems”, things a writer glosses over when it gets to their heroes because it slows down the story. However, they aren’t only faced with lactose intolerance but also suddenly find that they have trouble with all skills they used while hunting - they can’t open locks (at least not with make shift tools and when they’re stressed), they cannot fight against monsters (that are vastly overpowered while they just have human abilities), etc.

At the end of the episode Garth suggested a magical fix to their issues and we see them decide they would head to Alaska. Meanwhile, Cas is glaringly absent on a not further specified mission to Heaven. (*rolls eyes*)

Now, on twitter I said that if Sam and Dean went to Alaska to find a magic fix it for their issues without talking it through with Cas first they are “embarrassing dumbasses”. Spoiler alert: they are embarrassing dumbasses.

Now we start the reaction. I will bundle this sections since there are two plots that progress 98% independently of each other.

A: Misadventures in Alaska

- I know that Cas is absent, but I wish the Winchesters would have waited long enough to dicuss the issues with Cas. Sam does afterall talk it through with Eileen. And he must have talked to other people about it because he knows that it’s not in the lore and nobody else ever heard of it apart from Garth. But waiting for Cas to discuss with him was too much of a hassle...?

- Dean might not be able to digest cheese now, but he knows how to help himself. Like a normal person. (Well, I’m a normal person too but I just risk it and then suffer the dire consequences.)

- Okay, so they are in Alaska already. Don’t you have to cross through Canada to get to Alaska? If yes, how did they manage to cross the border with all the weapons in their trunk and without valid ID?

- I love Sam’s bewildered reply to when Dean claims that he was playing pool since before Sam was born. “What, between nap time and snack?”

- I was constantly worried that Dean was too cocky about his pool skills considering he had lost some other skills and that he would get into this game without even making sure that he still had the necessary skills for it. However, this episode isn’t the kind of silly overkill like last one was. Pool is a skill Dean and Sam developped over years and years, so of course they should be able to do it. (It’s not the same as lockpicking with a random nail)

- Dean “baiting” the other players wasn’t super elegant for someone who’s hustled pool for years *lol* But it was cute I guess?

- I like that Sam tries to talk to people and make them leave before it’s too late.

- Fortuna’s a dick, not winning any parent of the year awards...

- I like how Dean’s sure enough of himself to know that he’s much more complex than a “sexy but skimmable beach read”

- I think that usually the villains agree to Sam and Dean’s demands far too easily even though they have nothing to bargain with. So I assume Fortuna not agreeing to Sam’s terms falls under Sam and Dean no longer having their god given hero bonuses.

- I really appreciate the explanations we got on how Gods and all the other gods can exist at the same time. Humans/ human needs creating gods has always been my headcanon.

- Fortuna called Sam “little minx” *lol*

- Hero’s luck is a thing independently of Chuck then, but still granted by a divine being. But what makes a hero a hero is not their luck - but their choices and their attitude. Fortuna recognized that in them: bravery, the willingness to risk it all for others.

- I’m not sure yet what “don’t play his game, make him play yours” means. Though it’d be interesting if the same thing that happened to Metatron (who tried to play God) happens to God. God as “one of them”. Give him a soul and the weight of it, so he experiences the story and creation differently. I don’t know. I feel there aren’t enough episodes left for such a “remind God of the beauty and value of his creation” kind of plot.

B: Agent Lizzo

(I think this story line is more interesting than the monster of the week case and should have been given more screentime)

- “CASS”. Sam, that’s not how you spell his name. And why did you write a note instead of texting him? Also, they explained nothing. 

- Jack’s “Wanted by the FBI” picture is pretty cute. I wonder who took it.

- I like how Cas now frequently has a very visible reaction to things; he pulls the phone away from his hears, his expression changes, he has to breathe, before he manages to regain his composure. (Like the phone call he had with Dean while they were still seperated)

- Cas is so cute sitting at the desk with his laptop

- Why Jack. Why do you just sit down in the office to eat the heart?

- We usually saw Jack heal instantly; can’t he heal now or doesn’t he bother to heal his wounds?

- How many Grigori hearts did Jack eat...?

- Jack’s “dark” in ways he wasn’t before. The kind of dialogue he has comes across as very Winchester/ Cas like. I’m also trying to figure him out. He looks to the side at one point, before the Grigori takes his sword, which I assume means he saw Cas? His next expression is hard to describe; his nostrils flare, his calm expression drops. Is he shocked (I doubt it), is he angry (why would he?), is he trying to get out of the ropes to help or run? During the time it takes for Cas to defeat the Grigori, his expressions calms again and he lowers his head again. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it. I’m not very good at reading expressions anyway...

- The hug was nice but I really wish Cas and Jack would have actually spoken to each other. :/

TFW back together

- Dean and Sam are given the “little extra” that Dean wanted: Jack and Cas are back.

- I wish Sam had a bit of a more profound reaction. It’s the kind of welcome back reaction that would have been appropriate if Jack had just come back from a trip to the Swiss Alps where he tried to find himself among the cows and mountain spirits. Not when he came back from being killed by God.

- Dean’s reaction on the other hand was more impactful to me. Here we see that there’s tension there, some unspoken things. But still, he touches Jack the way that Bobby used to touch him. It’s a fierce look, but a gentle, parental touch. At the same time, this scene also addressed how much has changed (for the better!) between Dean and Cas. Dean seeks out Cas for conformation. I’m very soft about that exchange. (I think it also again presents Cas and Dean as an unit, especially when it gets to Jack.)

- I do hope Jack and Dean will hug eventually because the scene switch was a bit too fast for me. A bit more talk would have been better, or guiding them over into the next scene a bit gentler... Too many fanfic gaps here, even though the gaps are small!

- Sam and Dean acting like Jack ran away from them...? Sam: “You could have called.” Really, Sam...? When Jack says he couldn’t even though he wanted Dean says: “why not?” Why not, Dean? Do you really need to ask? And then Jack addressed nothing of what had happened and just brought up the current reason (staying hidden from god). Dude! You killed their mother, they wanted to trap you, then they wanted to kill you! I mean, come on.

- If Grigori hearts are the beginning, then what is next? Grigori are some of the “failed” creations of God that, according to Cas, should have been wiped out by the Flood. So maybe there are other things that God didn’t like for some reason or another that he wanted to get rid of. Grigori wiped out, Leviathan locked away, Nephilim forbidden... Hm. 

- From S11 we know that you can’t kill God. Killing God is not an option... (I also don’t really want it to happen. If the ending is literally creation being wiped out and there is nothing but a black screen at the end then I will have a panic attack.)

New things going forwards: 

Dean and Sam are heroes, no matter what Chuck says. Maybe they are no longer the heroes of his story (here I remember Metatron’s words again “you’re not the hero of this story, you are the villain”). But they’re still heroes. Fortuna rewards them for that alone with hero’s luck, which might give them back their bonuses to a certain degree. But the fact is that Sam and Dean are ordinary humans who become heroes because they are compassionate and brave and while they receive no reward for it, no “great recognition of their deeds”, they matter to the humans they saved. They matter in the smaller scheme of things, in the ways that Chuck disregards. Here I’m thinking of what Cas realized when he became human: that there is dignity in what he does, even if there is no divinity in it, even though it’s meaningless and “below him” even by Dean’s standards. But it mattered to Cas. He hurt, but it was meaningful and he wanted to live his life anyway. Chuck doesn’t see that. Chuck doesn’t see the dignity and meaning in the small things of human life. Because they are nuisances to him, they don’t make stories. Just like Sam and Dean doing the laundry all day don’t make stories for him - but they do for Becky.

So I think this episode reaffirmed what early SPN established: it’s the story of humans and how they save people, even if the odds are against them, and that makes them heroes. And not the other way around.

Some general comments: This is totally subjective but I feel there were some extra scenes that could have been cut (some pool hall stuff, the Grigori thing could have been slimmed down a bit) to give more space to things which I found more relevant like Cas/TFW’s reunion with Jack. I know that fanfic will fill the gaps eventually, but I wish we had to do a bit less work, you know? *lol* I mean, how did Cas and Jack’s conversation go, how was the drive back? How long where they in the Bunker by the time Sam and Dean came back from Alaska? What did they talk about? What conversations were exchanged in the scene break between TFW reuniting and them sitting at the map table? So many scenes to fill.