#edit: i changed the wording a little bit sorry to the 2 people who liked it before that

[danieyells]

I don't know if you've done it yet but I would like to request Ren lines? I'm having tokyo debunker Ren brainrot bro 😭.

@otomelover23

You're all very welcome! I love you guys too, so far! Sorry you've been deprived of lazy boi lolol HOPEFULLY THESE SATISFY YOU A LITTLE BIT.

He's a little tsundere I think. He's one of those characters who just wants to be normal but he can't just pretend to be normal because he lives surrounded by chaos so he just complains a lot lolol. . .but i think he's a good guy. Aside from that he does not help his mother captain at all.

Default(no affinity):

"If you're just gonna stand there, could you go feed the animals in the aquatic zone? I'm too busy."

"Ugh, why is that clown calling me... ... Whatever, I'll just let it ring out."

you know damn well that if you don't answer the phone you're gonna have to deal with Haru in person. Better to just answer it.

Affinity 1:

"Ugh... Tell me how I'm supposed to sit through classes when I've been up since 4 AM? (yawn) I'm exhausted..."

well if you didn't stay up until 4am--oh who am i kidding i stayed up til like 3 watching a stream and reading datamine stuff and then I got up at like 6:30 to get ready for work I'm no better kekw.

Affinity 2:

"Ugh... I can't believe I'm hiding right now... Why the hell does that clown have to chase me around at lunch time too?"

Affinity 3:

"Preach about doing it for the sake of your friends or the animals or whatever all you want— I really don't give a shit. People who say that stuff are just deluding themselves."

i've known people with this kind of cynicism before. once he finds people care about him he'll come around a little more.

Affinity 5:

"I'm grinding this game on my phone, so could you not talk to me for a while? Crap, I think my RSI is flaring up..."

in Japanese he specifies tendonitis haha

Affinity 6:

"Don't people get embarrassed calling out those words when they use their stigmas? It makes them look like LARPers..."

in japanese he says they sound like they have chuunibyou which is much funnier imo lmao. also i guess that means he can say his in his head? since he'd feel embarrassed doing it aloud.

Affinity 7:

"You think I sigh a lot? Got a problem with that? You realize trying to take away people's freedom of speech is power harrassment, right?"

you're starting to sound like ritsu. gonna hurt yourself reaching like that.

Affinity 8:

"I'm so done... I'm out of HP... Shouldn't I be exempt from missions and classes since I'm looking after all those animals?"

well based on something Haku says in a chat that hasn't come out yet, you can just do missions if you don't go to class, and based on Kaito you can just go to class instead of doing missions. . .but I'm sure Haru forces him on missions anyway lol. . . .

Affinity 9:

"Pfft... The video of that clown getting attacked by that hawk thing is getting so many interacts. This editing thing's actually pretty fun."

does editing count as a creative effort? i wouldn't be surprised if he switched to Hotarubi next year if so, assuming he doesn't get used to Jabberwock and the animals.

Affinity 10:

"Gotta change the locks so that clown can't get in again. I've bought enough padlocks to start my own business by now..."

life haru finds a way. sometimes that way is "towa, break down the door" if he runs out of lockpicking equipment.

Affinity 11:

"My head's killing me... This is the worst... Rise and shine! my ass... It's basically still the middle of the night. Guess I should padlock my windows..."

fun fact, you can get this one between 5am and 11am. 5-6am I can understand being 'basically the middle of the night' but after that you're pushing it lmao

Affinity 12:

"The cafeteria's way over capacity... The assholes who save seats before its even noon are ruining it for everyone else..."

Affinity 13:

"Why's my pay so low... huh? What's this deduction for? "Consultation Fee: Ritsu Shinjo..." He's seriously charging me for complaining...?"

Ritsu charges for looking at him too long. i'd try venting on wickchat over complaining to Ritsu.

Affinity 14:

"That rabbit sure has it good. All it has to do is breathe and everyone fawns over it. Doesn't even have to feed itself. Just wait till it grows up and learns what the world's really like."

WELL BASED ON THAT THE ADULT PEEKABOO WAS STILL BEING FAWNED OVER AND HARU HAD TO STOP PEOPLE FROM PETTING IT BECAUSE IT BITES. . .IT'LL PROBABLY STILL HAVE IT GOOD. Haru takes good care of the animals.

Affinity 15:

"Sup... Huh? I'm alone today. I just got up on my own since if I don't that clown'll wake me up anyway."

yeah? it's because of haru? not because of your affinity with the pc being more than half so you wanna be up earlier to spend more time with them? sure.

Affinity 17:

"No, I'm not going to sleep yet. I'm gonna watch a horror B-movie. You don't have to think, so they're the perfect thing to watch before bed."

i used to watch/listen to mts3k to go to sleep so. i feel this.

Affinity 18:

"Well done me for surviving another day... Oh, same to you too, {PC}. I don't how you can do this stuff voluntarily."

SOME PEOPLE JUST LIKE ANIMALS DAWG.

Affinity 19:

"Huh? I'm going to the campus store to buy some stuff, where are you going? Well, I'm going that way, so...bye."

not sure if shy or asocial lmao. could be both!

Affinity 20:

"You're being forced to help out again? Wow, a doormat out in the wild. So? Where do you want me to carry all this food?"

Affinity 21:

"This? It's a video I uploaded. People seem really into it. It's of that clown getting chased by a dog and flailing around like one of those inflatable air dancers."

Affinity 22:

"What am I doing today? Working at the diner. Oh, if you want to keep me company, feel free to come by. As long as you serve yourself."

it's not a date or anything since he's at work but like. . .he is inviting you to hang out. . . .

Affinity 23:

"Huh? You were waiting for me to get off work? Oh... Thanks. Wait, that clown put you up to this?! I'm gonna kill him..."

NO NO WE CAME HERE WILLINGLY probably. although it does seem like Haru to be like "oh hey Ren really really likes you, you should go pick him up from work! he'd love that!!" like a real nosy mom who's trying to get his son together with his crush.

Affinity 24:

"When did it get this late? That was horrifyingly fast... I'll walk part of the way back with you. I was gonna go buy something to drink anyway..."

excuses, excuses. . . .

Affinity 25(max):

"Every day here is a fresh hell, sure, but... You're suffering through it with me, so I guess I'll stick it out a little longer..."

'this sucks but you make it suck a little(a lot) less so i can keep going'. yep, that's our tsundere alright!

Spring:

"That clown's even more slap-happy than usual lately—it's horrible. Has he got spring fever or something?"

"Towa keeps trying to make me drink some kind of rice porridge with weird flowers in it... It's actual porridge harassment."

considering the flower Towa associates with Ren is poisonous, i think it's safe to assume he is literally trying to poison him to death lmao. also wtf is porridge harassment--i even tried looking it up in japanese and the first thing that came up was someone screenshotting it and saying "what is porridge harassment" lolol

"All this farm labor's bad enough without all the caterpillars and weird plants that are out there now...This is harassment."

what's harassing you, nature? as someone who just had to kill a huge mosquito that came into my room, nature is harassing me too.

"I hate cherry blossoms. They're like the flower version of being a legacy kid— all they have to do is bloom once a year and everyone claps."

in japanese what he says is something like 'i hate them just like people born with silver spoons in their mouths'. basically he hates people born into privilege lol i bet he'd have the potential to get along well with haku until he learns he'll be inheriting a shrine. . . .

Summer:

"This is the worst... It's not even noon yet, how is it so hot? Summer is for extroverts and party animals, I wish it could just be over already..."

"A group trip to the beach? I'd rather die. No decent person would ever go there of their own free will."

butbutbut. think of the summer skins!!!

"Summer was our busy period back home, so I always had to kill myself helping out. Now I'm here though... nothing's changed."

"How can the A/C be banned in the dorm...? Who gives a shit what temperature some anomalous animal that sneaks in prefers, humans should come first..."

okay i agree with him here though what the fuck kind of rule is that. can we talk to hyde about that, that's insane haru.

Autumn:

"Now it's getting colder, I nearly found myself feeling grateful for this tragic jumpsuit... Am I being brainwashed...?"

"Fall, the season of the harvest—I'll stick with cup noodles, thanks. "Fall, the season to enjoy the outdoors"—screw that. I'm gonna make it the season of naps."

"Look—I got bitten by some weird bug anomaly. To hell with the stupid bug spray ban, I'm buying some."

"I feel like the mountains are rowdier when there's a full moon. Pretty sure my enemy encounter rate goes up when I'm on patrol too... Maybe I'm just imagining it."

Winter:

"Since the climate in Jabberwock's so messed up, sometimes it's actually warm in winter. The blizzards are way stronger though..."

have you tried pissing towa off less?

"Oh god, I just saw what's in the diner's new Mystery Hot Pot... It's gotta be a matter of time before this place goes bust..."

i mean if they had ordinary health inspectors maybe lolol

"That clown broke my window so my room's like a freezer... Oh, don't worry. I just took his room instead."

His birthday:

"You got this for me? That clown's been spreading my personal info around... No, it's fine, I'll still take it. Thanks."

i guess he doesn't really tell people his birthday, huh.

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}. ...Isn't it kind of rude to look so surprised I'd celebrate your birthday? That came from the heart, you know."

I MEAN YOU NORMALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. . .it's happy surprise!!!

New Years:

"Happy New Year. My resolution? Escaping the hell hole that is Jabberwock, for starters."

well you got here in like September or something so. you've got a while befor eyou can switch houses lmao but you can do it this year!

Valentine's Day:

"You got me chocolates? You're the type who does all this kind of stuff, huh? No, it's fine, you went to the trouble and everything so I'll take them."

i love when characters kinda mock you for doing getting them something but then they're like "nonono i want it gimme--" lolol from Ren especially it's very tsundere. poor guy wouldn't be straightforward about his feelings unless a damn life was on the line.

White Day:

"{PC}... Here, if you want them. I just bought the first thing I saw, so don't read into it..."

i bet it's actually really nice lolol

April Fool's Day:

"Guess what? I got special permission to switch houses. That nightmare is now behind me! I wish..."

Halloween:

"I hope everyone who gets excited about Halloween lives in misery for the rest of their lives. Why the hell do I have to help out with this stupid themed tour?"

Christmas:

"Can I ask you a question, {PC}? You don't still believe in Santa Claus, do you? Never mind, it doesn't matter. Have a good Christmas."

i mean. . .after coming here santa is a plausible entity to believe in. . .if there's gonna be a santa i don't wanna be caught not believing and missing out on gifts. . . .

Idle:

"Pfft... This edit's awesome. I'm a genius. I'll show {PC} when she gets back."

true bonding is sharing the funny memes you worked hard on. . . .

Absent:

"It's not like I was waiting for you or anything. It's just this hell hole is even more unbearable when you're not around..."

YEP THAT'S OUR UNFORTUNATE CUSTOMER SERVICE EMPLOYEE TSUNDERE ALRIGHT. His lines don't really get super affectionate but. They still have a charm to them when you realize how much he hides his feelings in the usual tsundere way. He likes you a lot but like. . .it's a bother and it's embarrassing. . .and what're the chances you're into him? He'll just invite you over to watch movies and play games with him and stuff. . .and tell himself it's fine to just be friends until it eats away at him. . .or until Haru spills the beans for him--

this took way too long because i got distracted like three times in the middle and my laptop started freaking out and i had to figure out why and close and reopen everything about 8 times hahaha. . . . OKAY TIME FOR ME TO GO TO BED! I hope this satisfies you a little bit!!

[fischiee]

wash joining the project and wanting to be called david vs having his identity burned out of him and refusing to accept being called anything but his chosen name anymore

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple. 

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask. 

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed. 

“No, I believe you.” 

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her. 

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts. 

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. 

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?” 

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her. 

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway. 

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name. 

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?” 

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed. 

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly. 

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.” 

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children. 

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall. 

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat. 

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh. 

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob. 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily. 

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?” 

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again. 

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly. 

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s. 

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time. 

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

[licorice-tea]

Don’t Fall In Love With Me (Yet) Pt. 2

Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader

Content: mentions of fights/canon typical violence and weapons, sooo much pining, can be read as a stand alone or as part of the mini series, allies to friends to lovers (soon!?), etc!

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: hmmm where do i start? i changed the pov from third to second person, (the first part was third person) the writing style of this is a little different from what i usually do but i still like it so hopefully you do to! pls enjoy and ty for reading <333

edited 1/8/24

Part 1 | Part 3

Law finds y/n leaning on the starboard railing of the Thousand Sunny.

You feel Law’s steps on the wooden planks and look over your shoulder to see him approaching. you swear you can hear your own heartbeat, and only hope that he won’t be able to hear it, too. Your thoughts are interrupted by his presence to your left. Law leans over the railing, mug of coffee in hand. A moment of silence passes while he watches you watch the sea from the corner of his eye.

“Can you even see anything?” he questions, his words coming off much harsher than intended,

A bit caught off guard, you simply respond, “Mhm, everything.” you have good vision, so you’re sort of the natural choice for keeping watch if Zoro doesn’t feel like staying up.

You can feel Law’s gaze on your profile. You can also feel your cheeks heating up, but those two things are completely independent… It doesn’t even matter though, because the darkness of the night should be enough to hide that from him.

“Are you having a good time on board the Thousand Sunny?” 

“It’s alright. You guys are really loud.” He says in a near scoff.

“Oh… Sorry about that.” Did you really bother him so much?

Law mentally kicks himself and is quick to wave a hand in front of his face apologetically, “No, I just mean… you’re all very energetic. Not you specifically, either. You’re actually really, uh…”

You wait patiently, now peering up at him through your lashes. He meets your eyes with his own, much more frantic gaze.

“You’re… nice.” He finally averts his eyes with a turn of cheek.

“Oh… thank you.” You smile to yourself. “I think you’re really nice, too.”

Law releases another scoff, though it comes off as more surprised than mean. He struggles with accurately portraying his feelings for you, who remains equally oblivious to his feelings as he does to yours. “You must be thinking of someone else.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m not known for being nice.”

“People must not really know you, then.”

“And you do?”

“Not as much as I’d like to, but well enough.”

“… What?” He finds that you make him feel dumb sometimes, be it through quick rebuttals or patient stares.

“I just mean, we could be friends. But I understand if you don’t-“

“I do.”

“… Ok.” You grin once more.

The pair stare out to sea, and Law takes another sip of his coffee.

“How come I never see you in fights with your crew?”

“I try to stay out of the way. Plus, I don’t really like fighting in the first place- that’s not why I joined my crew. It’s more of a last resort.”

“Interesting.”

“You think so?”

“That you would rather play support than have to get into a fight? Definitely. It’s not very pirate-like.” He nearly sneers- he has certain beliefs on what a pirate should be in order to be of use to their crew.

But, ever the optimist, you simply laugh, “So I’ve been told,” you start. “I guess I’m a little… strict about my morals. Just never really want to hurt someone, you know? Even if it makes people think I’m weak, because I know I’m not.”

“At least you’re self aware.” Law begins, but for some unknown reason feels compelled to continue. To give you some little piece of himself in return for what you’ve told him. However, after he tells you, “I don’t enjoy fighting much either, I just do it to protect my crew.” he feels like he’s talking too much.

You listen intently, “And do you have a family? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He shakes his head no, “Gone.”

You nod solemnly. “Well, I’m sure they’d be proud of you.”

“Have you… lost someone?” Law immediately regrets asking such a personal question.

But, you aren't offended. “No, I’ve been lucky in that way. Though we aren’t really… We don’t… Well, we’re not close.”

“Why’s that?” he mimics your earlier question, which you pick up on and smirk at.

So you sigh; “I guess the whole running-away-with-a-pirate crew thing kind of soiled their opinion of me.”

Your eyes meet again after your confession, and after a moment of silence, you both break out in laughter. Except, Law’s is more of just the shake of his shoulders, while you actually laugh.

“It’s not funny-” Law says through broken exhales.

“No, it’s really not!” you shake your head, still caught in a fit of giggles.

Eventually you both still yourselves, and Law concentrates on his half empty mug while you look up at the stars above head. Then you look at him from the corner of their eye, just for a split second, but find his eyes are already trained on you. So you offer a smile, like always, and go back to star gazing. Another moment passes, and your enjoyment of conversation gets the best of you.

“What’s it like living in a submarine?” Law raises a brow and gives a sidelong glance at your question. “Don’t you miss land and the sky when you’re down there?”

“Yeah. I miss land sometimes, I guess.”

You explore the answer to your question further by standing up on the ledge before you, and leaning over the railing to look down into the waves being split by the Thousand Sunny. It’s not a particularly dangerous stunt at all- there’s the floor, a 3 inch raised ledge, and the railing on top of it. When you stand on it, your height is barely altered; that’s how non perilous what you are doing is, for context. You simply want to lean over to see the waves.

But Law’s hand shoots out to grasp your shoulder, acting as a tether. You look at him with a concerned expression, which turns into a smirk. You could stay up there, maybe even turn and lift yourself slightly to sit on the railing itself, but you decide to come back down to the floor on your heels instead of giving the surgeon something else to stress over. Law then pulls his hand back rigidly and scratches the back of his neck with near painful awkwardness due to his sudden display of concern for your safety.

“I don’t think I could trip all the way over the railing unless I tried.” You tease.

“No, I- I know.” he coughs. Did he really just stutter?

“See? You are nice. You care.” you punctuate your statement with a smirk and the side to side tilt of their head. An occasional habit that, if someone were around you often enough to witness, they would know signified a feeling of triumph.

Law is at a loss for words at the moment, thoughts clouded by the growing warmth in his chest that seems to fluctuate up and down his neck and face, but never disappears completely when he’s around you.

“Sure.” he takes to mumbling again.

“You know, I really like having you here with us.”

“…You do?”

“Yeah. I love the other Straw Hats of course, but… I don’t know, you’re different.”

“You’re different from my crew, too.”

“Oh yeah? In a good way, I hope.”

Law shrugs, “Yeah.” He pauses, then mutters something under his breath. “In a good way.”

You’d blurt out your feelings here and now, if it were anyone else. But this is Law, and you kind of like him a lot, so you want to do things right. Besides, that would probably only scare him away- he seems like the kind of man who carefully works his way up to a relationship. With a friendly smile, you accept his statement. Because now that you know he considers you a friend at the very least, and more than likely shares your affections… you’re in no rush.

The night goes by quickly in his company, and soon enough you spot the golden rays of the sun peaking over the horizon.

“We should do this again sometime,” you tell him as the sun starts to climb higher into the sky (quicker than you’d like), “I had fun talking to you.”

Law nods, “Just let me know when you’re keeping watch,” he waves over his shoulder as he walks away, “I’ll be there.”

And when he makes it back to the privacy of his room, Law replays the night in his head. Over and over and over again, until he comes to a not-so-shocking conclusion. “Shit:”

“I’m falling for y/n.”

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 (𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue prompts taken from episodes 1 & 2 ( "romance dawn" & "the man in the straw hat" ) of the netflix live action one piece series. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )

❛ do you have any last words? ❜

❛ the sea's been calling. well, not exactly calling, because i pretty much can't swim, but you get the idea. ❜

❛ so what do you say? are you with me? ❜

❛ liar! i know zoro must be after me. who else is worthy of his pursuit? ❜

❛ who's the most powerful pirate on the seas? ❜

❛ first things first. do you have any food here? ❜

❛ you don't look like a pirate. ❜

❛ i'm not afraid of getting hurt. and i'll prove it to you. ❜

❛ i don't get it. why would anyone want to be a pirate? ❜

❛ you have the wind on your back, the salty sea air, your loyal crew by your side. you never know what's on the horizon. it's all about being... free. ❜

❛ you should never let anyone tell you what you can't do. ❜

❛ well, remember the name, 'cause i'm gonna be king of the pirates. ❜

❛ people often visit shrines to light candles for those they've lost. who are yours for? ❜

❛ you've been following me for three days. what do you want? ❜

❛ look, i've been practicing what my face is gonna look like on my wanted poster.❜

❛ i've no doubt your mug will be on a wanted poster one day. ❜

❛ all he did was spill a drink on me. ❜

❛ you should've fought back! why didn't you kick his ass? ❜

❛ not everything can be solved with violence. a man needs to be strong, but he also needs to be good. ❜

❛ you're not a real man. you're nothing but a coward. ❜

❛ you ate a devil fruit? ❜

❛ ever since i was a kid, i wanted to protect people that can't protect themselves.❜

❛ if that's what you want, i think you should do it. i'll help you out. ❜

❛ my crew was attacked by pirates. i barely managed to make it out alive. ❜

❛ rice balls. for you. ❜

❛ you shouldn't draw your blade unless you're prepared to use it. ❜

❛ don't kill me, please. my father will give you anything you want. ❜

❛ i'd say you live up to your reputation. ❜

❛ what's up with the third sword? i mean, where does it even go? ❜

❛ what do you say, puppy? do you want to do a trick for me? sit up and beg. ❜

❛ i kill your kind for a living. ❜

❛ i mean it. i don't owe you anything. ❜

❛ you are going to get us both caught if you keep stomping around this place. ❜

❛ that was amazing. admit it. we do make a pretty good team. ❜

❛ so why did you decide to become a thief? ❜

❛ i needed to eat. you do what you have to, to survive. ❜

❛ you're right. nothing is more important than food. ❜

❛ all great fighters call out their finishing moves. ❜

❛ i don't work for you. ❜

❛ i'm sensing a little bit of tension amongst the crew. ❜

❛ before we met, every choice was made for me. but now i'm gonna do what i want to do. ❜

❛ next time we meet, we might be enemies. but for now... we're friends. ❜

❛ i'm feeling so... so piratey. ❜

❛ well, you're gonna end up feeling watery if i have to throw you overboard. i told you i need absolute silence. ❜

❛ don't mess with my hat. ❜

❛ oh, i'm sorry. were we interrupting your beauty sleep? ❜

❛ don't like what you see? look away. ❜

❛ you have a lot of names. i bet everyone in the east blue knows who you are. ❜

❛ are you making fun of my nose? ❜

❛ i know your type. if there's nothing to gain, you're out. ❜

❛ truthfully? i'm kind of hungry. ❜

❛ who are you trying to impress? a lost love? an absent parent? or was it someone that you worshipped? ❜

❛ i used to know a pirate that wore a hat just like this. ❜

❛ for a time, i even thought we were friends. until he betrayed me. just like all the others. ❜

❛ he wanted to keep me out of the spotlight! he wanted to keep my star from shining too brightly! ❜

❛ is that what he did to you? did he betray you, too? ❜

❛ you can slice me and you can dice me, but i'll always put myself back together again. ❜

❛ i've been thinking about you for years. ❜

❛ i know you're upset, but you should eat something. ❜

❛ you're never not hungry. what's going on? ❜

❛ you can spill a drink on me and i'll let it slide, but don't you ever threaten my friends. ❜

❛ you can't make people love you. just like you can't make them smile. ❜

❛ you really think anyone is coming for you? they don't care. and no one is gonna miss you when you're dead. ❜

❛ get lost. ❜

❛ i'm just glad that you're okay. ❜

❛ what was that? i couldn't hear you over all the drowning. ❜

❛ you really don't fear death, do you? ❜

❛ what's the plan? you do have a plan, right? that's your thing, plans. ❜

❛ you want out? you know the price you have to pay. ❜

❛ you want a piece of me? let's see what you got. ❜

❛ i think i'll miss you most of all. ❜

❛ we're gonna be the greatest pirates the world has ever seen. even greater than your crew. ❜

❛ this hat is the most precious thing i own. it means the world to me. and i want you to take it. ❜

❛ when we meet again, you can give it back to me. ❜

❛ is every day gonna be this crazy with you? ❜

❛ if the path to what you want seems too easy, then you're on the wrong path. ❜

[gvtted-ratz]

read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.

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Mission Failed

Simon “Ghost” Riley x M!Reader x John “Soap” MacTavish

Last Edited: 17/03/2023

TW: slight angst, foul language, violence, blood, gore, gunshot wound, death mention

@denzellovehazelnuts: Hi! hope you have a good day! Can you do a poly "Ghost x male reader x Soap" (if you comfortable writing poly relationship) with slow burn, angst and fluff at the end? Where Ghost and Soap already in a relationship until the reader came into their team The two male thought the reader wasn't talkative around people but few weeks later, things change at first Ghost seems interesting in the male skill using gun and how fast he can run and Soap like the male sense of humour. Both of them thought it only a friendship type of things. Until the male save Ghost from the enemy on the battlefield and him laughing at Soap jokes. That when the two males known what happen to them, they weren't sure if M/n would comfortable in a relationship with them, so they start doing small things for him like making coffee or helping training,.. And M/n notice it, he even started to fall for the both of them. But he keep denying the things they did for him because he thought that what friend do. and M/n don't think he is ready for a new relationship, he wasn't sure he is good enough for them (the male got trauma from the previous relationships) (more angst please, I would like to suffer for a little bit) (・∀・) After a while, the three of them got into a mission together, everything went good until the male got shot. He thought he going to be de@d soon (only to find out that he only got shot at his leg) so M/n confessed how he feel about the two of them. (andddd I don't know what to do with the ending cause I'm ran out of idea. I would want to see how the treated each other when got into a relationship. Sorry about the grammar, English isn't my first language)

Word Count: 2,654

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: hiiii! i dont do heavy angst but i did do some u know? slow burn it is!!! srry it took so long! irl things hold me back a lot. N since u wanted slow burn, n with all that uve put (about 350 words of things i can work on/with 2 get this drawn out as a full-on fic!! yay!) i had 2 like. try n put all u wanted in there so yea! hope u enjoy!! also! i threw in some other characters like gaz n roach. hope u dont mind em being in here since this is like, a mash of cod n codmw2 (canon? what cancon?) cause i rlly do wanna put some other characters in here that i find interesting n build some sort of character/personality 4 the reader. reader deserves some cool friends-2-brothers!

At first, you hadn’t wanted to join Task Force 141. You were comfortable with your position as the quiet, but light on your feet, knife specialist. Well, that wasn’t truly your title. You were just good with knives. You weren’t too shotty with a gun either. Either weapon being in your hands meant blood was going to be shed. KorTac needed those types, especially those who could use it to get in as well as out; you also couldn’t forget about using your skills to get information. Torturing the prisoners wasn’t something you particularly liked, but you were good at it too. Combining your skills with knives and guns, it truly was hell for anyone on the opposite side of your team. You also couldn’t forget that, out of the others, you were much faster. Sure, some could still beat you at times but that didn’t mean you weren’t good. Bets had been constantly taking place with you, along with others as it was one of the few things any of you could do to pass the time in a less-than-bloody manner.

The transfer from KorTac to Task Force 141 wasn’t smooth. Horangi, or Kim Hong-jin, didn’t let you go for weeks. You were part of his team, one of his men. The leader of KorTac is what most of you saw him as. He knew many of you like the back of his hand. Not to mention, a tiger can be cruel but would never devour its cubs for no reason, well, as some say. As far as you knew, because you were all together, you were a team and therefore family. While there were others who didn’t get along, out in the field, all of you had each other’s back. Very rarely did anyone get left to perish to the enemy.

With all that in mind, it took weeks for him to let you go. More or less, Laswell was the one to convince him; that is if you call bringing each plus every person in KorTac to ruins as “convincing”. She wanted you on a team she could keep tabs on you; doubting her power and skills was out of the question. Which meant leaving KorTac to ensure that everyone else was free from possible imprisonment or death was necessary.

Fitting in wasn’t too hard considering most of the people there were from all over the place. While it’s odd for a member from another team to suddenly appear on another, it didn’t bother most of the others. Just from a glance, you could tell who was into who; as well as who exactly was in a relationship. A man by the name of Ghost including another called Soap, you knew were together. Soap flirted with almost everyone, though it was more teasing and lighthearted. With Ghost though? The flirting went up by twenty percent. His dial for teasing went up tenfold too. Meanwhile, Ghost hardly looked at anyone else, nevertheless, stare at them unless they were the Scottish man. Frankly, you didn’t mind. Who were you to judge the two? Especially when they were good at what they did.

It takes weeks before you’re comfortable enough to so much as talk to anyone 141. Gaz, or Kyle as Soap tended to call him when annoyed, is the first to so much as approach you. While the others are interested, you coming from KorTac had put them off for a bit. Gaz on the other hand treats you like a brother. He’ll throw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you around as he laughs about the past or even at your jokes. At meals, he always throws a raised eyebrow at those who look at you oddly when you’re quiet or sitting with the man. He treats you like you’re part of the team, furthermore, that truly means more than anything to you.

The man is just as bloodthirsty as you are. His stories of falling out of planes along with taking out enemies only lead to you looking up to your new teammate and brother. His tales of meeting Captain Price, past missions, a few tidbits of him being with the SAS, together with some metals he’s earned, only makes you want to pry more stories from the man; not like you don’t have to try. Simply asking about his stories leads to at least an hour-long spill of them from the guy.

And with his stories comes a few of your own. You don’t share much of them, knowing Gaz spreads them to the rest of the team with more dramatics to try to get you to interact with the others. Something you do learn about him that you always keep in mind from his stories is that his blood type is B Negative and shooting any dog, wild or not, makes him feel a bit guilty; he had to shoot one a while ago and apologised to the poor mutt after having to put it down to finish his mission.

With all that he’s shared and how the both of you see each other as brothers, it’s only fair that you let yourself talk to the others in the team. Though your words are short, along with your jokes being told quickly to distract yourself from the stressful situations, you allow yourself to slowly relax with the others. Gaz’s constant support helps you finally allow yourself to bond with your new team and family. It’s only after a mission that things change. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“Take the left! Keep your heads down and keep movin’!” Captain Price’s voice rings out in your earpiece. Everything has gone to shit. The intel you’ve been getting was entirely a trap. You’re running through an underground tunnel, Ghost and another man named Roach is running in front of you.

Roach is a quiet man, never talking or letting out a sound, but semi-friendly. From his actions and what you’ve been told of him, he does his best to complete the missions to the tea. The few interactions you’ve had with him were silent but nice. Whether or not he’s mute has crossed your mind time and mind again but you don’t ask; you’d rather leave the man be. After all, he has become something like a friend maybe even another brother.

“Copy. We’re nearly out. Roach and [Redacted] are with me,” Ghost responds, quickening his pace. The rifle smacks against your back as you speed up to keep up with the other two men. Despite the situation, the three of you remain as calm as you can be.

“You’re bein’ tracked like a rabbit is by a hound, Ghost! Move it!” The captain’s orders are clear and the worry is read between the lines. If you three don’t get out, it’s a huge blow to 141. Not only that, but Soap loses his boyfriend, Gaz loses two of his best friends as well as brothers, you three lose your lives, and Task Force 141 loses three of its members. Dying isn’t an option here.

“We have company,” Your words are muffled by your gear but the two soldiers in front of you hear them in their own pieces.

“Fuckin’ hell-” Ghost’s sentence gets cut off by gunfire from behind. Turning around, you fire the Lachmann Sub in your possession.

“We gotta go! They’re gaining!” You clip one of the enemies in the shoulder and another is hit in the stomach. Picking up the speed, the three of you try to beat them out of the tunnel. You cover the back, hoping the two get out before you. If you get surrounded, it’s over.

Thankfully, they haven’t reached the other end of the tunnel as the three of your burst out of the exit. You grab a grenade, pull the pin and throw it in the tunnel. As soon as it leaves your hands, you’re running faster to get to Roach and Ghost before anything else can; one arm wraps around each of your teammates’ necks, dragging them down to the ground as the little metal bomb goes off. Debris flies everywhere, looking for an area to land after being shot out of its place.

With the tunnel exist now collapsed along with no more flying rock and metal, you release the men. “How copy?” Crackles through each of your earpieces. You knock your forearm into Roach’s upper arm, eyes crinkling from your smile. He gives you a grateful nod, standing. You smack Ghost’s arm as he stands, glad to have escaped the enemies for now.

“Tunnel’s collapsed. We’re good. Ready for extraction, Sir,” Blunt and straight to the point are the skull-masked man’s words.

“Good. Heli’s close by. Move to the edge of the town.” With the three of you alive, you can practically feel Captain Price’s relief.

“Copy that, Captain,” Your muffled response comes before Ghost can send in his own. He scans you from the corner of his eye but doesn’t give you a retort. You do, however, hear a small huff of air leave him. You throw your arm around Roach’s neck again, puffs of air leaving you from happiness, meanwhile, his arm comes around your back. Seems the three of you live another day.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

After that mission, Ghost tends to lurk around you more than he originally had. It didn’t help that Soap tends to tag along as well. Thankfully, he finds your jokes hilarious if the loud, boisterous laughter he lets out all the time tells you anything. His teasing ends up piling onto you as well. Before, it was light as well as spread out. Now, it’s almost like he’s talking to Ghost with all the teasing and flirting he now does with you. His boyfriend hardly seems concerned but rather encourages his behaviour. Of course, that doesn’t mean he goes easy on you when the two of your spar together. He’s dead serious when it comes to sparring; it’s only a reminder that while he does good off, he’s just as dangerous as the rest of them.

The two men seem to be fixated on wanting to help you out in training as well. More pointers plus tips are thrown your way when you practice with either of them. Sometimes, they’ll even make you coffee for those sleepless nights. Mentioning such things to Gaz and Roach only leads to your sworn brothers giving you knowing looks or a few teasing words; Gaz is the one with the teasing remarks while Roach pats your shoulder in a mocking but teasing “you poor man” way. Neither seems keen on wanting to spill the tea on why the Scottish and British men have been more affectionate.

While you enjoy their kind gestures, including their company, you’re not sure if you’re ready to admit to yourself, or them, about such feelings or relationships. On the surface, you truly do want to ask them if this is some sort of flirting schtick they have going on. Deep down though, the idea of being with anyone again makes your stomach fill with the lead. How could you enter another relationship? After the last one ended with your soon-to-be fiance’s brains splattered all over a brick wall. How can you move past that? How can you allow yourself to find someone like them? Or even better than them? The answer to that is a sigh alongside a bitter smile. The ring hiding under your tactical gloves seems to burn your skin. Truly, how can you let your first love go? After all, if you weren’t good enough to keep them alive, how can you keep these two from meeting the same gorey end?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“To think I’d find myself here… How fuckin’ funny,” You mumble. Another mission, this one just like all the others. Well, it would have been if you hadn’t been shot. The blood leaking from your leg alongside a knife wound to your side leave you in pain. Feeling weak isn’t something uncommon but neither is it constantly happening. Words are being spoken to you through your headset. You were to be the lookout but ended up being the enemy's first target.

“How copy?” Rings in your ears. Your eyes stare blankly in front of you. You feel pathetic. Too tired to talk. Too tired to get up. You just sit, popped up against a tree in the heavily wooded area. You’ve failed, failed, failed.

“C’mon, Mate, how do ya copy?” Soap’s voice is worried and winded. He and Ghost are the people you’ve been teamed up with and you’ve failed.

“[Redacted], how copy?” The next tone is Ghost’s. It sounds slightly strained.

“Mission Failed,” You croak, head tilted back and against the tree.

“Status report, Mate. Where are ya?” He’s rushing, possibly panicked now.

“Got two wounds. Gunshot to the thigh. Knife to the side. Bleeding pretty bad, Soap.” You close your eyes, sighing.

“State your location.” The Brit seems to be just as worried as his Scottish counterpart.

“Dunno. Woods. Against a tree… There’s a lot of blood. Feelin’ woozy.” When you open your eyes, your sight is blurred. You’re losing too much blood.

“Keep talkin’ to us then, yeah? You’ll make it out. We’ll get out together,” The Scot’s words, though hopeful, only make you scoff quietly.

“You know… If I get outta here… Think we can go out sometime? Bourbon and whiskey? The three of us?”

“When we get out, [Redacted]. There’s no if here,” The masked man makes it sound final like there’s no way you’ll die on them.

“Yeah… Yeah..” You don’t say anymore, everything slowly hazing away. It’s like your floating in winter with how cold you feel.

“[Redacted]? Don’t sleep! C’mon! Keep ya eyes open!” Soap’s words fade away along with everything else. All that waits is cold darkness.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

“So… Think you can handle our drinking date after this?” Soap perches on the side table, messing with a lighter he took from Ghost.

“After he’s healed, Johnny. No alcohol before,” A semi-scolding is all the man gets from the brooding Ghost. You laugh slightly, jostling your wounds. You wince but wave off the concerned looks you get.

“After I’m no longer full of holes, Johnny-boy.” You take a sip of water afterwards, making Soap frown playfully.

“And to think I was gonna bring out the good shit fer ya. A shame. A damn shame.” You gently shake your head. It was a close call but Ghost got to you before you completely bled out. From what you’ve been told by Gaz, who yelled at you for an hour after you woke up from your four-day sleep, Ghost and Soap dragged you back to the helicopter. Both refused to leave your side. Captain Price ended up having to yell at the men and bribe them with a bit of alcohol to get them to even go to their own rooms. You made sure to apologize to Gaz, hugging him tightly after his blow-up. He thought he was going to lose a friend and family member so you couldn’t blame him.

Roach gave you the cold should for a while before appearing in your room with a cup of coffee. He made sure to smack the back of your head for your stupidity as well, though it was hardly rough. You grabbed the man before he could so much as bolt though when he saw you getting up to hug him. He hadn’t pushed you away though. And the captain? It felt like you were a kid again with how he pinned you with his stare. He made sure to tell you exactly how he felt, going from angry, to disappointed, to angry again. Another guy you couldn’t blame anything on. But you get to live another day at least. And you get to have that date with the two guys who were able to grab ahold of your heart after a long-time of heartache and loss.

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

heya i'm getting into bsd again and realized that you're the only bsd blog i follow 😭 would it be possible for you to recommend some good blogs? i assume you'd know a few, but sorry if this comes off as pushy or weird

Hiii! Thank you for the ask, I’m genuinely sorry for taking like a million years to answer it. It’s a really awesome ask, so don’t worry, it wasn’t pushy or weird! I know it may have seem as though I didn’t like it since it took me good 2 months to get to it, but I really appreciate it and I was simply busy with real life stuff. Feel free to always ask me about cool blogs to follow, I’m more than happy to give my mutuals and other creators a shout out!

I listed some of my personal favourite blogs alphabetically to make it a bit more organized haha

For the tagged creators: I provided little descriptions for some of the creators listed here, but if I accidentally messed something up, just let me know and I’ll change it. Also don’t worry if you’re on the list without a description, it just means I didn’t know how to put my appreciation into words.

@akutagawah – edits

@awkwardbsd – general bsd posting

@bapplebeess – fanart

@bemysillygoose – fanart

@canetteto – fanart

@carrotkicks – fanart. Has an analog horror series and different storylines, so if you’re interested in exploring different stories through fanart, this is your person

@choccatto – fanart

@creantzy – fanart. The creator of a really cool fan comic called The Path to Freedom and the Bernadette 2023 animatic (as a member of the fyolai nation, I absolutely adore their content)

@credensjustitiam – fanart

@dailynakaharachuuya – fanart

@dazaistabletop – general bsd posting

@deadmitochondria – memes. The only inactive blog on this list, but it’s worth it

@death-in-a-handbasket – fanart

@destructive-delight – fanart. If you like angst and horror vibes, you’ll absolutely LOVE it here

@dsskkrt-jpeg – fanart. The creator of the Nowhere to Run animatic (and overall a fyolai icon)

@emilylovescookies – fanart

@featherphoenixart – fanart

@flower-of-darkness – THE analysis queen

@fyodors-fancy-teacup – fanart

@greendy2l – fanart

@hant-huyant – fanart (though not really active on tumblr I think)

@hoshiumiumi – fanart

@imsofrancey – fanart

@inkantigen – fanart

@itotypes – fanart and fics. The creator of Mors Omni Vincit on ao3 (the pirate!au)

@iwritenarrativesandstuff – analyses

@kaus-quietis – my jojo sis. She did an incredible analysis of Fedya that’s a must read!!! She used to post fanart, but is now focusing on her studies (let’s gooooo)

@koiblossom5 – hilarious incorrect quotes.

@kokoasci – fanart

@kyouka-supremacy – general bsd posting. The president of sskk nation (not officially, but c’mon she deserves this title)

@marshukitty – fanart

@miammey – fanart and fics on ao3. One of the only people I’ve seen who does art of the Hunting Dogs, so if you’re interested in THD, Miam is a must follow

@mochimochips – fanart. One of the only artists who consistently make fanarts of Verlaine and Rimbaud (and that’s very rare in the fandom!)

@mr-vanhellis – fanart

@nnakahara – moodboards. Our favourite historian ♡

@nixnephilii – fanart. The creator of Fyo!Atsushi au, which nevel fails to make me gasp, because it’s incredible

@originalartblog – fanart. The creator of Goosamu (who is Dazai as a goose and is VERY dear to my heart), and a few other AUs

@phonyrams – fanart

@platykool – fanart. Some of my absolute favourite fanarts of Sigma! (and doa and bsd overall, but I really wanted to highlight Sigma)

@pleucas – fanart

@pompompurin1028 – fics. Some of the best, most in-character fics I’ve ever read. If you like Dazai, you’ll ADORE her fics.

@popopretty – an absolute MVP of this fandom. Translations, summaries and trivia

@rampopurin – analysis and general bsd posting. The science side of bsd fandom (if you wanna learn about space and science through bsd go follow!)

@rinqueraa – fanart

@sandyy-boo – fanart

@sensitiveheartless – fanart and fics. So many awesome AUs and comics (they’re listed in Senhart’s pinned post, so they’re really easy to find)

@slothfail – fanart

@tatooou-art – fanart

@tecchous-thicc-buttocks – incorrect quotes

@tunamayuuu – fanarts. The creator of kny!au

uwu-m1lk – fanart

wrenkos – fanart

PS. if any of you guys want to add more creators to the list, feel free to do so in the reblogs!

[orion4ever]

HIIII! It's the paranormal enthusiast mc anon again, I loved that SMSM THANK YOUUU! I'm back with another request :)

(Sorry if this is worded wierd, I couldn't figure out how to word it lmao)

Could I request a Baxter x past dance partner MC? MC used to do competitive dancing, and during contests and competitions in their past the two were often paired together. They immediately clicked the first time they danced together, and paired with eachother every chance they could get. After step 2, maybe mc stopped dancing or something happened that caused them to stop being paired together/not see eachother as often, and they didn't meet again until the summer :)

gsjskw aaaaaah I don't know how to word this correctly and I apologize if it's too specific, feel free to change this around or edit it if you want to!

Thank you again, and have a wonderful day/night! :>

Author’s Note: ….Okay this is freaky af because I WAS LITERALLY RETHINKING THIS SCENARIO IN MY HEAD. Are you a mind reader? 😦 if you couldn’t tell, I went HARD with this request! I wrote this with the MC and Baxter not meeting at the Soiree moment but at this competition instead.

Pairing: Baxter Ward x MC

🖤🤍

Let me set the stage-

You and Baxter are both very talented dancers , maybe the best in the pacific region’s teen category.

You have been fostering this skill since you were a little kid and have proven to your dancing instructor at the Cypress of your affinity with ballroom dancing.

All the cypresses in America held a ballroom dance competition with each Cypress nominating one person per age group to represent their location at the contest.

At age 13, you were selected to represent the teen and pre-teen category!

You were a bit nervous about it, especially it being your first competition.

You also didn’t expect to be making a charming new friend, or a future summer boyfriend.

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

You stood in the huge dancing hall, the tall shiny roof and shiny marble floors showing a reflection of yourself. The trip hadn’t been too long, this year’s annual competition took place at a Cypress in Nevada.

You looked around the room and noticed people of varying ages, you zeroed in on any kids around your age to ‘scope out the competition’ as your instructor would call it.

In the distance, an older gentleman pulled a mic from under a cabinet in a far-off corner of the room and tapped it a few times.

“Testing….testing…Welcome! To the annual ballroom competition. We would like to thank all our out-of-staters for making the trip to the Cypress’s Nevada location.”

The big room echoed with a loud applause from the crowd. The older man allowed them to finish before continuing.

“For any new competitors, I will quickly go over any etiquette and rules. Two competitors, each representing a different state but sharing an age category will pair up. They will be competing together and will both receive a trophy for their Cypress.”

Some of the pre-teens groaned at having to socialize with strangers, earning a few giggles from the older dancers.

“We do this to save on time and…to make it more interesting. As dancers, you should experiment with other dancing partners to see who matches your style and rhythm; like a therapist.”

The older gentleman added that last part to joke but it only earned a cough and an awkward laugh from the other side of the room.

“…AHEM. Uh yeah! We will start with the younger category, Categories teens and up should begin pairing with their dancing partners. Remember, it’s all friendly competition here!”

The older gentleman put the mic down and scratched his head, clearly embarrassed that his one joke landed flat.

The little kids all ran towards the middle of the dance floor and started pairing up quickly with each other, laughing and already giving each other hugs.

You envied how quickly they could make friends and pair up, maybe it’s them not having any awkwardness to them yet. You couldn’t say the same for the other categories all either awkwardly shuffling towards new people or instantly jogging towards acquaintances and friends.

You stood to the side and looked around, you were a bit anxious about the possibility that you would be left without a partner. You weren’t mentally prepared to meet any new dance partner.

You twiddled your thumbs and watched on. You were just about to test your luck with a teen who looked just as awkward when you felt a noticeable tap on your shoulder.

You turned around and spotted a very handsome boy, maybe a year older than you. His casual smile widened when he got a look at your face. His hair was a dark black. His skin, was pale and pink at the cheeks. A mole placed on his neck and finally the most intense

Deep brown eyes.

He looked as if he should be modeling for DIOR or if he should be a star in some movie. His neatly pressed suit made him look like a prince.

“Hello there. I am Baxter, Baxter Ward.” He introduced himself, extending a hand for you to shake.

“I noticed that you don’t have a partner and I was hoping to fix that.” He said. The young man had a distinctive voice.

You gave him a neutral smile and shook his hand back.

“I am Y/N L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” You greeted him in return and then answered his question.

“That would be great actually, This is my first competition so I am a little all over the place.” You chuckled nervously, rubbing your arm. The brown-eyed boy nodded.

“It gets easier, I promise.” He reassured before asking a different question.

“Which state are you representing?”

“Oh, uh I am representing California!” You replied, crossing your arms proudly. Baxter’s face somehow brightened even more.

“Oh, wow! How wonderful, I am representing Oregon.” He chuckled. You made a small exaggerated gasp before lightly clapping your hands together.

“We’re like..like neighbors! That's so cool!” You grinned.

Baxter paused at the thought, putting a hand to his chin in an equally exaggerated way.

“I never thought of it that way..” he said thoughtfully before giving you a polite but genuine smile.

“Let’s do good for Oregon and California then.” He said confidently, you nodded at the sentiment.

You and your new dance partner now stood next to each other, watching the little babies dance with each other. While they’re dancing was silly, they all looked to be having fun and some even paused their swinging to ask the other what their favorite colors were or if they wanted to get ice cream after the competition.

Baxter made an amused sound before turning back to you, wanting to make conversation and also…wanting to hear your insight.

“If only we could all make friends that quickly.” He sighed softly, stuffing a hand in his pocket.

“Tell me about it.” You chuckled. “What makes it easier for them anyway? Are they just more social?” You questioned more to fill the air than actually wanting hearing an answer so you weren’t expecting Baxter to reply with his own opinion.

“I personally think it’s because they aren’t as burdened with fears of rejection yet, it makes them more confident.” He commented. You blinked before agreeing.

“That makes sense. I wonder where all that confidence goes when we age.”

It was silent again, the younger categories finished up their round with everybody including the both of you, giving a round of applause for them.

“We will now have the preteen and teen division go up next.”

Baxter turned to you and offered a hand. “Shall we?”

You in return, took his hand “We shall.”

The two of you walked to the middle of the room and got into position. Baxter took the initiative and offered to lead. The older gentleman behind the counter hit a few buttons to activate the music in the speakers. The other contestants began to dance and spin around, unlike how silly and unserious the way the babies danced; everybody currently on the floor struggled to get acquainted with their dance partner’s style. Lots of accidental stepping-on and half spins that didn’t go through.

You and Baxter were extremely different though. While you guys did start a little rocky, with never dancing with each other before. The two of you warmed up quickly and danced very well together.

You two swung and spun around as if you guys had danced with each other billions of times.

But more importantly, it looked as if Baxter was having fun dancing with you.

And you enjoyed how familiar and fun it was to dance with him.

Baxter whispered something to you, “You are very talented,….and you have nice legs.”

“Wait what?”

It was now an unofficial tradition to pair up together, and you guys did for the next two years. While you and Baxter weren’t that close back then, you still had fun conversing with one another and being able to dance so freely with each other; you enjoyed how straightforward he was and lightly teased him for how formal he sounded and he played around and equally enjoyed your company, you didn’t know it then but you two felt a click.

So it was extremely unfortunate when you injured your ankle permanently and would have to stop dancing for a while, it had happened during the winter so you weren’t able to tell that charming boy goodbye or to explain to him why his dance partner had suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth. It broke your heart, that those sparks you had when you danced with him would never be replicated.

You never thought you would see him again, Until that fateful summer of 2016. You sat in both awe and shock as Baxter stepped out from the passenger side of his taxi, he turned towards you and Cove; his neutral eyes narrowing when he took a look at you before a look of recollection replaced it.

“…Y/N? Is that you over there?” He questioned loud enough for you to hear.

“BAXTER??”

Cove looked between the both of you. “Huh?”

[devondespresso]

Mr. Crayola Henderson

T | 1791 words | ao3 link | cw: minor ableism from a side character, also they swear, I always forget f-bombs bother some people sorry guys | STWG Prompt: Telling a story to get out of trouble

EDIT: I NEARLY FORGOT thank you @pearynice my beloved for the brainstorming GENIUS and @hairstevington for the sensitivity read! You guys are awesome!! Also thank you @saradika-graphics for making free dividers!!

((little bit of context for extra clarity: this universe is vaguely canon divergent, post season 2. Steve is hoh (hard of hearing) and already adopted by the Hendersons, and in this one they're in the middle of a sort of family reunion/gathering))

Steve went to duck inside the house, holding the door open for Aunt Tracy on her way back out into the backyard where the majority of the gathering was taking place. She smiled and said something, probably just a thank you that he would’ve heard if the batteries in his hearing aids hadn’t died. He smiled back at her and gestured to his ear and she nodded again with a smile that did its best to not be patronizing.

She left and Steve went inside, sighing a little and tried to not hold it against her, the lack of filter seemed to run in the family, but it was moments like that that made him grateful his mom was the most laid-back of the Henderson women.

Steve went over to the media room and dug through the little bin of batteries under the phone, pulling out an opened pack that had just enough left. He took both aids off, changed the batteries, and put them back on to make sure they worked.

He heard a strong thud from his bedroom, followed by muttering.

Steve put the dead batteries down on top of the table and stared at his bedroom door. The muttering escalated to hushed bickering.

Steve walked closer to the door, hearing the bickering more clearly, then opened the door.

Dustin and their cousin Aiden both jumped and turned to look at the door, Dustin relaxing when he saw it was him. Steve paused for a second, looking at both of them crouched on the ground, bright pink paint on their hand and clothes and the carpet around them with no bottle in sight.

Steve leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at Dustin.

“We were just… snooping through your shit. ” Dustin said.

Steve glanced back down at the paint everywhere, and gave him a look.

Dustin just smiled like a little angel, which worked on mom and maybe Steve-from-two-years-ago, but not now.

“Oh no, you found my secret stash of… bubblegum pink paint.” he deadpanned.

“The cheap kiddy bubblegum pink paint.” Dustin corrected, looking down at the carpet. “It’ll wash out.”

“Of course.” He looked over to Aiden, who had relaxed significantly as he realized Steve wasn’t going to blow up on them. “And… why is there totally washable pink paint in my room specifically? Weren’t you guys sticking to dicking around outside to avoid doing stuff like this?”

Aiden opened his mouth to give a better excuse, but Dustin started tapping his shoulder excessively to get his attention.

“He’d help us.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, not arguing because odds were good he’d end up doing something, but he still played it up like he wasn’t already planning to.

Aiden was turned mostly towards Dustin and muttered something he couldn’t catch, throwing a glance at Steve.

“Trust me, this is like a walk in the park compared to–” Dustin said.

“Hardly a fair comparison, man.” Steve interrupted. 

“–compared to the other shit he’s helped me with.”

Aiden thought about it, then glanced towards Steve. “And he's not going to jump ship afterwards and get us in trouble?” 

“Of course not, right Steve?”

Steve looked at the two of them and ran a hand over his face.

“You know step one of not getting in trouble for stupid shit is not starting stupid shit, right?”

Aiden groaned but Dustin agreed immediately, “Yes, 100% understood.”

Dustin elbowed Aiden, and he nodded despite his clear annoyance. 

Dustin smiled and looked at Steve.

He rubbed his temple one last time before throwing his hand down.

“Okay. Step two then.”

Dustin jumped up and shot him a thanks before running around him towards the kitchen. Steve watched him go then turned back to Aiden who looked just as confused.

“What’s he doing?”

“I don't know.” Aiden lied, looking at him curiously, “What's step two?”

“Find me and let me finish the stupid shit.”

“Huh.” 

Dustin came running back with a slice of deli-meat in one hand.

“Dustin, this isn’t looking much better than last time.”

Dustin paused his mad dash for just a second to look at him.

“It’s significantly better, I swear.” he said, then ran to sit back down, dropping the slice of meat on the floor in front of him, and waited.

After a few seconds of nothing, a fuzzy little white face poked out from under his bed. Cautiously, a opossum with pink paint splashed on its back came waddling out. It sniffed at the food given to him, nibbled at it, then opened its mouth as wide as it could to awkwardly chomp at its new snack.

It was a wild animal, Dustin brought in a wild animal inside, during a family gathering with some of the most worry-wart mothers he’s ever met–

But god, the tiny opossum was really fucking cute.

Dustin beamed at the little guy like a proud mom, then up at Steve. Steve shook his head in disbelief and joined them carefully around the opossum. He picked up the deli meat and placing it on his hand to get the little guy used to it.

“You’re crazy, Henderson, you’re fucking crazy.” He grumbled, playing up annoyance to avoid losing his better judgment. 

Dustin said something probably cheeky as hell, but he didn’t catch it.

“One more time.” he said, looking away from the opossum for just a second.

“And what does that make you, Henderson?” Dustin smiled, definitely cheeky.

“Reluctantly, also fucking crazy.” he sighed, shaking his head before moving the deli meat further up his hand to lead little Mr. Opossum onto it.

He lifted Opossum gently, letting it have the rest of the deli meat so he could use two hands to hold it steady. He stood up slowly, and started walking towards the bathroom.

Dustin and Aiden went around him to get the door, lights, and sink ready– apparently, to continue where they left off. There were pink handprints around the edge of the sink and a bottle of dish soap sat next to the hand soap.

“Wow, I wonder what happened here.” Steve deadpanned. He looked over at the both of them, not a hint of guilt in their eyes. “And this is why there aren’t two Dustin Hendersons.” he bitched with no real anger, and set Mr. Opossum down gently in the sink.

 “You mean this is why there aren’t two Aiden Haults.” Aiden said, leaning over the sink.

“Nope, Dustin gets the credit for this one.”

Steve closed the drain to make a pool of water and Opossum gravitated to it immediately, taking a drink before waddling into the pool and almost rolling in the water to get his fur wet.

Steve tried and failed to bite back a smile.

“His name is Sir Crayolan.” Dustin said.

Steve had no choice but to bark out a laugh.

“Sir what?”

“Sir Crayolan.”

“Oh god, I heard you correctly.”

“It’s a great name!”

“You know Sir Crayolan isn't staying, right?”

“Yeah, we were gonna let him go after we washed him, we just–” 

Aiden muttered something and tugged on his sleeve, pointing out the bathroom doorway towards the back door.

Just out of the window, Aunt Tracy was caught in conversation with someone, looking like she was laughing, but clearly stopped just before she was going to come inside. Steve quickly rinsed some of the minimal paint on his fingers, careful not to scare Mr. Crayola or whatever.

“Does she know you’re in here?”

“No, we hid in your room–”

“Good, you guys wash him, carefully and quietly, I’ve got the rest.” He whispered, wiping his hands off on a towel.

“You’re the best, Steve.” Dustin said, giving him a quick side hug to avoid getting paint on him.

“Oh really? I’m gonna need that in writing.” He smiled and Dustin stuck out his tongue. Steve returned the gesture and slipped out of the bathroom, straight across the hall and into his bedroom.

He turned off the lights immediately to hide the pink mess on his floor and waited to hear the front door. 

He heard Aunt Tracy’s laughing rather than the actual door open, heard her wave off whoever it was she was talking to through the door. He took one hearing aid off before he walked out of his room, closing the door behind him. He made his way back to the abandoned dead batteries and put his aid back on, messing with it a little longer than strictly necessary.

“Oh, Steve, there you are. Everything okay?” she said, joining him by the tv room. 

“Yeah, just had to find batteries. What’s up?” 

“Oh yes, well– now, I know I could be overreacting, but I haven’t seen Aiden anywhere for– oh, for god knows how long–”

“He was with Dustin earlier–”

“I know, I know, but they were near those woods weren’t they? And you know there were those missing kids stories–”

“Trust me, I know.” he said, dropping the dead batteries into their battery jar. “I can help you search for them if you want, but I don’t think Dustin’s ever gotten lost. He carries around a compass like it's his wallet. Worst case scenario? They’re messing around in the woods somewhere a little too far away and they’ll come running back once they realize we started eating hotdogs without them.”

“God, you know Claudia said the same thing, I just worry…”

“Ron just lit the grill, right? Let’s give them twenty minutes,” he checked his watch, “Until five… five fifteen-ish. If nobody sees them, I’ll help you look.”

“Twenty minutes, alright, I’ll tell Claudia.” She said, and circled back to the door.

“I’ll join you guys in a second, I’m grabbing a coke.” he called, jutting a thumb back towards the kitchen.

She called something back with a wave and Steve just waved back until she disappeared out the door. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cold can for himself and a diet pepsi for mom, then circled back to the bathroom.

He checked over his shoulder once real quick before tapping on the door and opening his coke.

Aiden answered the door, cracking it open just enough to stand in the doorway.

“You got all that, yeah?”

“Twenty minutes, we’ve been exploring in the woods.”

“Yup. Release your critter out the front door and circle around. I am not joining a search party for you guys today.”

Aiden nodded and gave him an overserious salute. Steve threw a more casual one back.

“Tell Mr. Crayola I said ‘bye’.” he said, then turned around to leave as Dustin came to the opossum’s defense. He hid his smile by taking a sip of his coke, and went back out the door.

(obligatory disclaimer uhhh dont pick up wild opossums please ok thanks guys love ya)

[kilibaggins]

Hello! I would like to request bilbo/kili where kili gets a little protective/possesive of bilbo during the journey from the other dwarves. maybe with a little bit of bilbo having to calm kili down from trying not to fight the other dwarves when kili thinks one of them hurt bilbo accidentally somehow(dwarves forgetting their strength over bilbo). hope this finds you well and i cant wait to see what you write if you choose to do this :)

Important To Me | Kili X Bilbo

kili x bilbo baggins

A/N: I hope you like this! i love kili x bilbo so i was really happy to get this request going and im sorry it took a little bit! let me know if you want any more fics i will happily write them !! my requests are open <3 also i just realized i never went through and edited kili's name so for this one there's no accent mark over the i !! sorry about that <3

Warnings: confrontation, accidental harm, yelling, but i promise it's fluffy and there's no actual yelling between kili and bilbo.

Words: 1493

Might Post on Wattpad in the future !

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

Bilbo has noticed a few… Peculier changes in Kili. More irritable with the other dwarves, and more likely to jump into danger, it's like Kili has started getting… Protective.

It started with the trolls, which everyone might see as just a regular bit of protectiveness. Bilbo saw it as that, at first. It was just Kili stepping in to save him, there was nothing off about it.

No, the changes really started happening that night, When Kili gently took his arm and started touching it to check for bruises. Oin had offered to step in and do it but Kili snapped that he could do it just fine.

That was weird enough, yes, but then it got stranger. He started yelling at the other dwarves for every little thing around Bilbo.

Bilbo isn't easily breakable. He's had his fair share of roughhousing when he was younger, he's been hurt more times than he can count, and especially more than your average Hobbit, but even so being around these 13 dwarves can do a number on him.

They don't know their own strength. They push and punch and hug too tightly, and overall it's a painful experience for poor Bilbo who can't seem to catch a break from it all now that he's an official member of the company and has been accepted.

Kili will see this and react… Angrily? Bilbo doesn't understand it and he can't bring himself to ask because what if Kili stops caring? He likes the idea of someone caring for him, and that's why the dwarves including him in things makes him happy.

It's a regular day, they've made camp in some forest that Bilbo can't tell the difference from the last one they were in, and they're sitting by the fire.

Dwalin, in the heat of the moment and while laughing, slams his hand down on Bilbo's shoulder, and Bilbo winces. It's not even that bad, not really, but Bilbo still winces. Dwalin is quick to notice and move his hand and gruffs out a small apology, but apparently to Kili that isn't enough.

Kili quickly gets up and starts to yell, which leads Dwalin to yell, which leads to the other dwarves yelling, and Bilbo quickly gets up and stands between Dwalin and Kili.

"Kili, Kili! Hey, hey, I'm fine!" Bilbo says, putting his hand on the dwarf's chest. Kili is glaring over at Dwalin, Dwalin! Dwalin of all people! For accidentally hurting the Hobbit. It's not as if it's his fault, Dwalin just doesn't know his own strength when it comes to the burglar. Bilbo puts his hand on Kili's chest and pushes him away gently. The look on Kili's face morphing from anger at Dwalin to a little bit of hurt as he moves away from Bilbo and storms off is enough to make Bilbo feel bad for some reason. He huffs and mutters out an apology to Dwalin.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into him." Bilbo rambles, talking with his hands. Dwalin though, isn't angry when Bilbo looks up. He just has a small knowing smirk on his face.

"You really don't see it?" Dwalin says, tilting his head slightly. Bilbo throws his arms out in confusion and Dwalin nods to where Kili ran off. "Talk to him."

Bilbo huffs a bit, fixing his jacket. He turns from Dwalin and walks off in the direction Kili went.

Admittedly, he should have thought this through a bit more. He's not good with tracking or finding his way in forests, so as soon as he makes it a bit too far out to hear the other dwarves being rambunxious he realizes he won't find his way back without the beautiful dwarf he's looking for. Bilbo grumbles to himself as he continues to walk and he makes his way to a small stream. It's beautiful, of course. Colorful rocks underneath the water, probably there for years slowly being eaten away at by the flowing water. Bilbo finds Kili sitting at the edge of it, his knees bent up and his arms crossed on top.

It's a sight, for sure. Kili with his hair lying on his shoulders sitting in front of a stream. It's a picture Bilbo would be happy to draw one day.

Bilbo makes his way closer, obviously tripping over stones because he can't be safe for the life of him. Kili doesn't look over when he approaches for a second and Bilbo worries if he speaks up he'll scare the dwarf, but then Kili starts to speak.

"Are you alright?"

Bilbo sighs softly and sits next to him. His shoulder is a bit sore from Dwalin earlier, but other than that he's fine.

"Yes," Bilbo says insistently. "I'm fine. I have been."

Kili stays silent for a while, just staring at the stream. He looks like a kicked puppy.

"I do not understand," Bilbo admits, huffing to himself as he turns from Kili and looks to the water. "I don't understand why you're upset."

"… I just want you to be okay," Kili says softly, looking over at him. Bilbo shakes his head and fiddles with the handkerchief that Kili found him.

"I am," Bilbo says again. Kili looks slightly frustrated again. "You don't have to worry about me so much."

"Yes, I do." Kili snaps, and then instantly deflates. He groans and covers his face. "I'm sorry."

Bilbo watches him for a moment and thinks about Dwalin's questioning earlier.

"Why? Why have you been acting like this? Dwalin is not the only one you've threatened in the past few days. Oin wanted to check a cut of mine and you practically pushed him away. You even snapped at Thorin. The King. Your uncle. What is going on?"

"I- I want you to be okay," Kili says again, and when he sees Bilbo go to argue he speaks again, "I NEED you to be okay."

Bilbo stops for a moment and looks down at the ground. Kili turns to him this time, gesturing with his hands for a second before talking.

"You are… So important. You don't-" Kili laughs, "You don't see it. You don't see how important you are or how much I care and It drives me wild! The trolls capture you, hurt you, and all you do after is apologize to us! Apologize to us? We're the ones who got you in that mess, to begin with! You get hurt by Dwalin and your first instinct is to let it go and you don't care about yourself! What happens when someone threatens to kill you and you just sit back and let it happen and then you die and you leave me-"

Bilbo looks at him in shock, floored by the rant but especially the last part. He goes to speak but Kili interrupts him again.

"You are… You're…" Kili doesn't know how to proceed and deflates. "You're you. That's why I'm worried because you're you and we- I need you. I-I love you."

Bilbo doesn't know what to say. He must look ridiculous with his mouth gaping and a confused look on his face, his eyes teary. He can't force a sentence out as he lets out a harsh breath. He instead reaches forward and takes the dwarf's hand. Kili holds Bilbo's hand and for a moment the only sounds in the forest are the wind blowing through the trees, and the water flowing next to them.

"You can't…" Bilbo says, confused. Kili… The nephew of the rightful king under the mountain. He's royalty. He's a part of something much greater than himself, there is no way that Kili loves him.

"I do," Kili says quietly. he turns from Bilbo and shakes his head. "I understand if you do not feel the same, but all I ask is that you understand why I am protective of you. I love you, and to me, you're more important than any piece of gold in that mountain."

"I love you too, Kili… But you can't fight your own kin for me." Bilbo says gently. Kili sighs and nods and affirmative. Bilbo smiles and leans forward. "Now, I'm not sure what Dwarves do when they admit their feelings but Hobbits have a fun way of doing so."

Kili's bashful look turns to a smirk.

"What did you have in mind, burglar?" Kili teases, leaning closer.

"Oh, shut it you fool." Bilbo laughs, rolling his eyes. He leans forward and kisses him quickly before pulling back. He abruptly stands and gestures around them. "Now, I have no clue where we are. Guide me, adventurer."

Kili beams up at him and he gets up, and they make their way through the forest.

They have a lot to work out, a lot of people to talk to, a King (and most importantly uncle to confess to), but for now they have each other. and oh, that's the best adventure Bilbo could have asked for.

[zcorners120]

Jaks sister needs a part 2

sure !

ollie bearman x crawford!reader MASTERLIST

synopsis; joining jak and his friends in F3, you start falling for ollie just as you realise he's been falling for you

warnings; seeing someone changing, interrupting them in their undergarments

Your feed was blowing up with compilations of Ollie and Y/N being cuties, pictures of you two together, edits. The whole sha-bang. The more you were watching the more you came to realisation that Ollie liked you.

He had to, right? Every time you both made eye contact, his eyes would have such a shimmer to them that it made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pushed these feelings aside, knowing he couldn't feel that way about you, you were his best friend's little sister and it was most likely one sided feelings.

"Y/N, your car's here." Your manager knocked on the door to your driver's room, walking away swiftly.

You got up reluctantly, knowing you were sharing the car with Ollie and Jak, since they were going to hang out at your house.

Sitting squished against the car door, you had Ollie to your left as he gave you a big grin as he saw you walking up to the car, awkwardly running from the rain.

"Hiya darling." The word rolled off his tongue, accent making a perfect appearance from the rain soaking you.

"Hey." You smiled at him awkwardly, looking out the window, not being able to look at him since realising your feelings.

"What's up?" He noticed your off behaviour, your usual bubbly and friendly personality being replaced by quietness and cowardice.

"Nothing." Replying bluntly.

He took his large hand, placing it on your thigh gently, his thumb rubbing circles in a comforting manner.

You blush, taken aback by such an intimate action.. Could he like you back? Surely this is something more, he can't be doing this to someone he views as his little sister or friend? As you were internally panicking, Ollie on the other hand seemed pretty unphased.

You remained silent the entire ride home, bursting the car door as though it were overflowing with people. Ollie looked at you with a confused face, wondering why you were acting so bizarre.

As you rushed up to your room, ripping off the clothes you were in frantically, you heard someone running up the stairs right as you were taking your top off.

"Y/N we need to talk-" Ollie ranted, freezing as soon as he saw you in your bra.

"I'll wait till your dressed." He squeezed his eyes shut immediately, borderline banging into the door as he stumbled out.

At this point, you were the CEO of embarrassing situations, and wanted to bury yourself.

"I'm decent." Your voice feebly squeaked out, watching him open the door slowly.

"Sorry bout' that." He slightly grimaced, embarrassed by his own actions.

"It's okay. You didn't mean to." You felt the bed dip next to you, where you were sitting on the edge.

"Look, Y/N. Your acting a bit strange today and I know I've probably made it a whole lot worse, but I just need to get this off my chest. I like you, and like a lot. A lot, a lot." He rambled, waving his hands around a bit.

You smile at his cute and innocent personality, as he confessed his feelings, you watched him.

"I like you a lot, a lot too." Your mouth curling into a smile, watching his face drop as you reciprocated his feelings.

He took his hand up to your chin gently, as your lips gravitated towards each other, as you prepared for an amazing kiss with someone who you liked as much as this. You were ready for the exploding fireworks, butterfly feeling in your stomach.

Right as his soft lips were about to connect to yours, you heard an agitating, graving voice;

"Ollie, dude! That's my sister!" Jak's obnoxious voice called out, as you both turned to see him standing in the door way.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(thank you for the tag, lovely, @blitheringmcgonagall <3)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

nine. small but mighty <3

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 585,789

3. what fandoms do you write for?

HP and only for the marauders

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos

ten reasons (to go to michigan): my beloved midwestern child. where remus is divorced and meets sirius in the upper peninsula

No Matter the Wreckage: my love letter to sirius black

Carry Me Away: sirius is a sheltered posh boy on his first bit of rebellion; meets remus; summer lovin'

From Fire to Fire : oh we don't talk about her, but read at your own risk!

Fault Lines : divorced wolfstar AU

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

So, sometimes, but not usually. I read all of them, i promise! i just never know what to say, and replying to everyone "thanks so much for reading!!!" feels like a social pleasantry more so than a genuine response...and so i just don't. But if a comment is particularly long, or asks a question, or invites more of a dialogue, i will respond!

6. what is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with Fault Lines. because thats the only fic i have that doesn't have a "happy ending". After i first posted this, about 80% of my asks were "how could you" or "fuck you???"

7. what is a fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They're all happy endings! I really do love the ending to ten reasons though.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I did once lol. a few times! 1% inspiration 99% perspiration is the smuttiest i've ever gone in a fic. i also wrote a very brief one-shot here for tumblr called "Team Players" ft. football player sirius and remus watching him change in the locker room so....have fun finding that! but largely, i write fade to black, or avoid writing it at all.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

Nope

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

A fic directly stolen? No. Ideas/headcannons from my fics and dropped elsewhere? Yes (e.g. james saying inspirational quotes while having sex from my moonchaser fic being repurposed in the jily fandom... to name something specific.). More than once!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have had a few people ask, but they've always wanted to publish it outside of AO3 and thats a no from me dawg.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, though one day, if we ever get around to it @femme--de--lettres and i have a great wolfstar fic idea.

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

Wolfstar duh. I am also starking trash.

15. what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't start fics that I don't finish! I'm not a person with a WIP folder on my desktop or a million half-baked ideas and paragraphs scattered. I just have one that i work on and thats it. so my current WIP, i will finish!

I have abandoned/deleted fics that i started in the past, and thats typically because i dont imagine myself finishing them ever.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i...i am...good at the little things. like little tuesdays and random thursday afternoons.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

world. building. i simply do not. also punctuation. what is that? who knows. not me!

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

look, i would love to one day write a telenovela marauders fic in spanish, but this is not the time (also would love to write latinx black brothers). thoughts is that its great if you speak the language and/or have someone who does speak it who edits its for you!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

This one. this is it. HP and marauders.

20. favourite fic you've written?

i'm currently very much enjoying clear eyes, full hearts and the simplicity of it all so. i'll go with that <3

tagging bestie @femme--de--lettres and @maybebabyplease (sorry if you've been tagged!)

[endlesslytired]

Some things I've noticed when I've looked at the tag for Senadina here is that people are really pushing Elysia clone allegations on her. Yes there's similarities. I actually believe some may be intentional as I have a couple thoughts on Elysia that could make theories on a connection. (Ely has some weird stuff I don't fully understand and like I wouldn't be shocked if she was actually related to Sena) But y'all are really pushing it in my opinion.

For me the big difference between how I feel and felt about both of these characters from meeting them and to now.

Elysia felt so shady at first. Like she was hiding so much and Mei was getting like crumbs every conversation and I was convinced she was going to be a twist villain because she just keeps changing the subject to flirting with Mei rather than explaining herself. I know better now that these vibes were most likely from a changed twist and she's actually sorta legit nice, but that doesn't cover how much she hides and diverts. It feels off. I'm still doing Elysian Realm chapters (but know kinda what happens from an old account) and the vibe of something being kept from me is still so strong.

Dream Senadina on the other hand was like "Hey! You wanna dance? Awesome! Okay here's how my world died, yours could also so here's these items, go find some friends and fix it. You're in charge now, bye!" Just elaborated honestly quite a lot at once to Dreamseeker/Entropy at once imo. Then you meet the playable Senadina and she jokes a bit about you dreaming of her but tbh unlike Elysia is more focused on her surroundings than DS/E and less shady because she just doesn't know what she could possibly hide and usually says whatever she's thinking anyway. She really gives puppy chasing butterfly vibes or kid in a candy store. In any twist there's something secret about her, it's probably just as much of a surprise to her too.

Mind you I haven't seen part 2 of the current story as it's not out till tomorrow for me. Could drop some nutty twist out of nowhere but I doubt it would go that far first stage of this new edition of the game.

I don't hate Elysia at all, I actually really like her. I've been kinda hoping March in star rail is either her or a Kiana counterpart. I just cannot shake how much she makes me feel like I'm being baited and I feel on edge a little. Not my favourite but like I still like her! (Sorry girlie, I'm a Pardofelis stan when it comes to realm characters) Sena just felt so much more easy to immediately trust and gives really fun silly goober (for that one person who complained about me using that word, it's a complement) vibes. Also I do play the game in the CN dub since I started my new account. I feel the CN dub makes them sound more different to eachother and JP sounds more similar to eachother so maybe that influenced some things.

I think really we can compare them but really if you pay attention there's still differences. Let's let our token Hoyoverse amnesiac exist a little longer before we decide who they are.

[bulgariansumo]

Back at it again, editing Episode 1 of Galactiquest. Version 3.0 patch notes:

-Removed all unnecessary epithets (Hopefully. I found one instance of brunet that I thought I deleted the last time around)

-Toned down the amount of exclamation points

-I think I slightly pared down a scene in Chapter 4? But I added a new one over it, so that probably cancels out

-Gave other characters a little more dialogue, especially Leon

-Changed descriptions around to be more concise, less repetitive, and less verbose (For these being Leon's chapters, I got weirdly fancy with some of the prose)

-New scene 1: In Chapter 1, a girl talks to Leon while he's waiting in the spaceport, eventually leading to him realizing he's late. This finally gave me a chance to explain why the Interstellar Forces is called that and set up that it is struggling somewhat. I think this also the first time I've gotten to mention that the IF was banned from having weapons.

-New scene 2: In Chapter 4, Jun questions why the IF would let such an inexperienced group go to Neptune (in nicer wording, but still). It sets the tone for the trip in a way that was lacking before.

As much as it stung to realize those chapters were a little rougher than I thought, I'm glad I did this. It's not a complete overhaul, but it brought the quality a little closer to my current stuff. I'm grateful some people were still able enjoy them despite rough edges.

In the times that I've asked for feedback, a few people mentioned Chapters 3 and 4 being a bit of a slog. I... did not trim them down as much as I intended. Every time I tried, it went something like this:

Hopefully, adding that section to Chapter 4 will help it feel a little more worthwhile. That being said, if I'm compelled to edit again, I know there's a few scenes in Chapter 4 that probably should go.

For people who want to see the new scenes without reading the whole episode again, I'll post them down below. If you do want to read the full thing, here's a link.

---

New Scene 1 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 1. Boarding for Takeoff

A monitor nearby played an informational video about Earth’s one and only moon colony: Lunaria, the city of his dreams. Though so far away, he felt like it lay within his grasp for the first time. What choice did he have but to be captivated by it?

“Are you heading to your first deployment?” The girl a few seats over might as well have appeared from thin air.

“Hm? How’d you know?” He shook his head out of a daze. Only now did he realize his mouth had been hanging open for who knew how long.

“You seemed pretty enthralled by that video for a star ranger.”

“Oh yeah. Some nights, I spent so long looking at the dome through my telescope, I’d dream about it.” He sighed. “Even now, I can almost breathe that artificial air.”

“I’ve heard it’s cool. My aunt’s paying my way. I bet you’re glad you don’t have to pay those ticket prices either, huh?” She had a pretty laugh.

“Gosh, I thought I’d have to spend my life savings just for a visit. Thank goodness for the IF.”

“You know,” she tilted her head, “I’ve always wondered, why’s it called the Interstellar Forces when we haven’t gone past Mars yet?”

“We’re supposed to dream big now and grow into it later. It worked for me, so…!” he ended with a shrug. “And who knows,” he knew, “we might be going past Mars soon.”

“That’s cute. Sorry about the budget cuts, though. No more weapons, I get, but you guys don’t even have your own ships anymore? They’re just deploying you with us civilians?”

“My ship’s kind of a special case.” Out of curiosity he decided to check his phone. “But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to che–”

His eyes widened in horror at what time it displayed. It was 25 minutes past when he should have boarded.

“Is something wrong?” asked the girl.

“Sorry, I gotta go.” He gathered his bags and hurried over to the receptionist. “Excuse me. This is the boarding area for the Celestion ships, right?” Maybe everyone else was just late. “I was supposed to be boarding a ship 25 minutes ago.”

“Oh, no sir. Are you with the Interstellar Forces? All military spacecraft are located on the opposite end.” The receptionist motioned directly behind him.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” He shook the receptionist’s hand vigorously. “Seriously, my career is in your hands. And yours too,” he sped past the girl, “have a nice trip, bye!”

New Scene 2 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 4. Tour's End

“Quick question.” The oddly familiar one smoothed dark, wavy bangs out of her face… or his face? Leon couldn’t tell at this angle. The androgynous voice didn’t help. “The Celestion crews were chosen by chance, yeah?”

“There’s a coupla exceptions as you’re no doubt aware,” Emil winked, “not to mention the captains, but yeah, most of us are random picks.”

“Right, cool. So, like, not to harsh the vibes, but I noticed that none of us except you and the captain are ranked higher than rangers.”

“I almost ascended to corporal~” Allen spoke up.

“I know, Rox.” The familiar one addressed Emil again. “I dunno, I kinda assumed we’d get stationed on each ship based on our experience and ability level.”

That did surprise Leon when he first heard about the opportunity. Described by his old warrant officer as ‘remarkably average in all abilities,’ he never dreamed he’d be offered the chance to go to Neptune. No one from his base deployed to space in years. He hadn’t even earned the star on his uniform yet. No way would he let such good luck pass him by.

“Huh,” Emil pinched one of his curls, “that does make sense.”

A click from the ceiling brought with it Captain Galhardo’s voice. “Randomized crews are a key element of the Celestion Project. Though each captain, including myself, went through a series of tests to ensure our capability.”

“Well, there you have it. Besides, as long as my brother’s piloting, we’ll make it back a-ok. Nothin’ to worry about.” In only a few strides, Emil made his way to the cooking area. “Over here we have a microwave, an oven, dishes, other kitchen-y stuff–Oooh, guys, I gotta show you something!”

He stuck his arm over the stove, to the confusion of Leon and most of the others, and to their horror, turned it on.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Love in a Ghost Town: Part 5--Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Eddie Munson’s become content with working his day job. After the crazy stretching of events from 1983-1986, Eddie’s grateful for a little bit of normal in his life.

That is until one day, Valeria Browns shows up in town looking for a quick car fix. And she’s more than he might’ve bargained for on the eve of Valentine’s Day. Valeria is just trying to enjoy her Valentine’s Day weekend after many years of being perpetually single. She has her fun, but it’s never serious. Maybe Eddie can change some of that.

Older!Mechanic!Eddie Munson. 2003 alternative universe. BlackFem! OC.

The Upside Down doesn’t exist in this fic. But strange things do happen to the town of Hawkins, Indianna. Major Character Death that is not canon as a result of the non-Upside Down AU.

Feel free to view my masterlist here

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7

CW: Implied Self-Harm & Depression within the chapter. If you are sensitive to these topics, please proceed with caution.

Edited Picture of Eddie is from @eddiemunsons-missingnipple

__________________________________

“When did you do all this?” Eddie flops down into the chair at the dining room table.

Valera has plates set out already alongside placemats, forks, knives, spoons, cups. It’s stuff she’d found in the cabinet and drawers. A habit of hers when she’s hosting others, ensuring that the table was always set to perfection. A habit garnered from her grandmother’s raising. Valeria would rather be caught dead ass out than have her grandmother find out she’d cooked for someone and didn’t properly set the table. She hadn’t thought it was too much but now she worries it’s a little over the top. She can’t do anything about it now. It’s done. The table’s set. 

“There’s a lot of hours between two and seven,” Valeria shrugs. 

“So what’s on the menu tonight, chef?”

“Baked chicken, yellow rice, roasted asparagus to avoid too much of a slimy texture. The chicken still needs like ten more minutes. I put it in right before getting you.”

Eddie whistles, a wiggle to his brows. “I thought we’d said thank you already.”

“There’s no strings on this, Eddie. It’s just--I wanted to do something nice.”  

The words halt Eddie. He’d been peeling himself out of the coveralls, one arm free and then he stopped. Now he’s stuck between pulling his other arm free and letting it reside inside of the sleeve. “No strings? There’s always strings,” Eddie whispers. 

Valeria shakes her head. The words burn on her tongue: You deserve nice things just because. Not because you can give something. But Valeria swallows it down. She’d pushed that button once before and it hadn’t gone well. “I’m not-I’m sorry if I overstepped. Food will be done soon.”

It’s all Valeria can say. It’s all she should say; anything more and she’d be picking a fight. So Valeria turns back to the stove. The rice and asparagus were covered before Valeria left. They’re still warm as far as she can tell. From the hallway, Valeria can hear the shower start up. There’s nothing to do but wait. So Valeria sits, nails clicking as she works through what should happen next. Should she further apologize? She hadn’t meant to imply anything. It wasn’t in her mind that more might be implied. 

“I’m sorry.”

Valeria lifts her gaze and Eddie stands, hair wet on his shoulders, arms folded across his chest. Valeria exhales her words,  “I should’ve asked first. If it was okay.”

He shakes his head. “It is. It is okay. I just--I shouldn’t have assumed.”

The chicken shaped timer shrills between them. Valeria goes to stand up but Eddie stops her with a raise of his head. He shuffles over, turns the oven off and pulls out the baking sheet. There’s another stretch of silence between them, just the click of the metal pan against the top of the stove. 

“You were right,” Eddie states. “I do dismiss myself. Because it’s easier. I have a lot of people who do care about me. But I never know what to do with it. I guess I’m so used to people wanting something from me. It’s easier if they want something you know. I can give that.”

“But if no one wants something?” Valeria asks. 

Eddie pushes away from the stove. “I don’t know how to do that. People who just want me. Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, the kids--they all sort of force themselves into my life. It’s easier if people force it. To choose it? No, not going to happen. I want it. But I can’t. I can’t choose that.”

“Can’t choose it?” Valeria probes. His eyes are misty again. Now she sees it. It’s fear. Eddie is terrified of what it means to let himself choose to let someone in. 

“When people force their way in, they already care. They don’t care if you don’t believe it.” 

“So you’re scared? You’re scared to let someone in.”

“People leave. Either they die or they choose to leave. If I choose someone and they leave me--what would have been the point?”

“To have loved and to have been loved.”

Eddie’s face shows how much he doesn’t believe Valeria’s words. And it makes sense. Why would Eddie ever believe her? She’s just a stranger. Sometimes Valeria doesn't halfway believe the words herself. “Sounds like you might’ve found my stash,” Eddie huffs. It sounds like it’s meant to be a laugh but it’s humorless in all reality as it falls from his throat. 

Valeria holds her hands up in defense. “I just have one question, Eddie. I swear I don’t really want to argue with you. But I’m curious about one thing.”

Eddie gestures for her to continue. “What’s that one thing?”

“Do you actually want someone to change your mind? Do you want someone to convince you to give love a shot? Or are you just looking for someone to pity you? To give you what you want--a fuck when you want it, but never forcing you to confront your fears?”

It’s a heated stare. Valeria pushes up from the table. She’d pushed the envelope. It would probably blow up in her face. But Valeria’s prepared for the fire. Will this be the actual death sentence? Wouldn’t it just be fitting not to die by being a new face in a small town but by being an asshole who doesn’t know when to give up? 

“You don’t fight fair,” Eddie quips. “You really don’t fight fucking fair. One more question my ass. Don’t want to argue--fuck off with that.”

It’s true anger. But Valeria doesn’t think it’s going to get her into a physical altercation. Valeria doesn’t even think Eddie would raise a fist, or his voice. He might curse her out but he’s remained in front of the stove the entire time. Valeria crosses the kitchen, nudging Eddie out of the way with her hip. He goes, willingly, sliding down so he’s in front of the sink. “Is it not a fair question?”

Eddie exhales hard. “What do you want to drink?”

“Just going to take water, from the tap,” Valeria returns, plating the chicken breasts for them. 

“It’s a fair question,” Eddie admits, staring down at his plate of food. They’d set the rest of the table in utter silence. Eddie seethed. Valeria held her smug grin. And now, sitting down, it’s like the food is the mirror Eddie can actually face. Maybe looking Valeria in the face, having her voice the question was a double whammy. Someone who had wanted the fun time, but also to be nice--the two weren’t mutually exclusive for her, but they were for Eddie. 

“I don’t like that you asked it,” Eddie admits, stabbing at the piece of chicken on his plate with his fork. “But it is a fair question.”

“So besides me, how was the rest of your day?” Valeria asks. 

“You were the highlight and also the pain in my ass. The donuts were much appreciated today; thanks.”

“We call that the two-for-one special.”

Eddie snorts, working down his bite before he speaks. “You make it up to the mall?”

Valeria nods. She’s gotten direction from Robin after dropping off the candy. A mall is a mall--when one’s visited one of them, they’ve seen them all. It doesn’t help that Valeria works most of her days in one. “Can I say any mall has lost its charm?”

“Your store is in a mall?” Eddie asks. 

“Sure is.”

“So would I be right in assuming you most definitely did not step foot into The Gap here then?”

“Oh, dear Eddie, you would be so correct in that assumption.”

“I’ll put a word in with the mall’s board of directors to get something else in there for you,” Eddie teases. 

“It’s appreciated.”

The conversation slows from there. Eddie compliments the food, but there’s a clear focus on actually consuming the food in front of them. Valeria’s shocked by how hungry she is considering how little she did in the day. But perhaps, it’s coupled in with the fact that she’d normally have eaten by now, or at least had more in the way of snacks. Valeria had gotten a little side tracked in the mall, rifling through some CD’s. It was worth the time suck as she’d scored a few albums that she needed to replace. Her copies were scratched and skipping terribly, but still the scouring cost time. 

Valeria finishes her food first, but remains seated to wait for Eddie. When his fork and knife clink against the plate, Valeria stands. Eddie pushes up immediately after her. “I’ll wash the dishes,” he states. “I think it’s the least I can do after all this.”

Valeria considers the envelope fully pushed, but not burst. She won’t risk it. Instead she nods, and starts to assemble the dishes, wiping them clean, scraping off the remnants of food, packaging up what’s left. The water of the sink is the loudest noise around them until Valeria goes to shower. 

________________________

The TV casts a blue glow over the living room. The couch sinks just a little with the weight of Valeria and Eddie, but it’s comfy. Valeria forfeited her guest privileges on picking the channel. She knew her obsessions with reality TV may not be well received and she really didn’t care what was on. Eddie settled on Cold Case. A shocking happy medium between the two of them. When Eddie glanced over, Valeria nodded, making a comment on how she always tried her best to keep up. It leaves them here, both post showers as Valeria digs into the bowl of popcorn they’re sharing. Both of them have eyes trained onto the TV as long as the show is on. 

“You seeing anyone?” Eddie questions during a commercial break. 

“Blunt,” Valeria snorts. But she’s sort of glad for the question. At least Eddie doesn’t seemingly hate her. 

“I’m doing research,” Eddie returns, grabbing a fistful of popcorn. 

“No,” Valeria answers with a shake of her head. “Not anymore.”

“Which explains the single’s trip near Valentine’s Day. Want to talk about it?”

Valeria looks over to Eddie now, turning away from the TV screen. He’s already looking at her, up through his lashes. “Classic story--one that starts with drinks at a bar, ends with cheating.”

“Sorry he was dick.”

“There were a lot of signs prior that I shouldn’t let her go. Just didn’t listen. Went on a little parade of enjoying people, whomever came my way.”

Eddie snorts, “Pun intended?”

Valera takes a sip at her glass--a Coke that Eddie insisted on putting in the wine glass just for her after she declined the alcohol. “You tell me.” 

“I’m going to say yes.” Eddie moves the bowl to the table, taking a hand to his hair. He then pulls it all back and takes the hair elastic from his wrist to pile the hair into a bun and secure it. “Are you looking for anything now? Relationship? Just sex?”

“I’m not getting younger,” Valeria admits. 

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Valeria swats at Eddie’s arm. He doesn’t dodge the hit, just takes it and when his hair is secure, brings the bowl of popcorn back into his lap. She shakes her head no at the invitation of the extended out bowl and then continues on, “I used to think I could just wait it out, you know? I’d find someone for me when I was supposed to. Most of my friends are married or have children. Not sure if I’m doing something wrong or if the right person hasn’t come along just yet.”

“You’re a catch! Albeit pushy, but still a good person! I’m sure everyone’s drooling over you.”

“Everyone includes you and Robin, hmm?” Valeria teases. 

Eddie groans, his cheeks turn a little pink. “That is so fucking embarrassing. But it is what it really is. I just mean anyone would be lucky to date you. From the limited exposure I have of course.”

“Everyone’s sweeter in smaller doses,” Valeria quips. “Part of me is worried. I did think I’d be married by now. With at least one kid.”

Eddie whistles at the confession. “How many do you want?”

“Just two,” Valeria answers. “What about you?”

“Thought I’d be dead at 30, so I guess I’m more shocked I’ve still got years left on this planet than anything.”

“Thought you’d be dead at 30? Or?” Valeria doesn’t want to say it. The scars on his forearms could’ve been from anything. But a few trailed closer to his wrist. Valeria’s not intimately familiar, but she does know. 

“Or,” Eddie answers, turning to face Valeria again. “Or in my case.”

He doesn’t offer more and Valeria doesn’t ask for it. Instead there’s just their shared gaze, a silence that seems to know everything that they don’t say. Someone found him. Something in the universe kept him alive. The TV’s clearly switched back to the show. But they don’t break eye contact. 

“I think,” Eddie starts, head tilting to the side just a little. “I think I’d start with one kid and I managed not to fuck that one up, I’d go for a second one. Having a sibling seems like it’s not such a terrible experience.”

“My uncles told me they’re sad I’m the only kid. They have many stories about literally beating the shit out of each other and then if someone else got into the mix immediately shifting gears and throwing blows at the new person. I guess you could say the only person-when you have siblings-that can pick on you is your sibling. Nothing quite like it.”

Eddie snorts. “If looking after Red and Dustin and their friends proves anything like parenthood for teens at least, maybe I’m good without it.”

“Looking after?”

“She lives out in the trailer park too. Dad left when she was younger. Mom’s in and out of her life now that’s older. Steve used to babysit. Can you believe that? He used to babysit Dustin when Ms. Claudia absolutely needed it. Steve, I think, is fond of the whole group but him and Dustin have something I don’t think I’ve seen with anyone else. Dustin’s dad passed away right after he was born. Steve and Dustin are the closest things to siblings without being blood related. As Dustin made friends, he’d rope Steve into their antics when Dustin knew he couldn’t ask his mother. So Steve becomes a big brother to Dustin in a way and then by extension like a mother hen. Robin and Steve meet Scoops.”

“Ice cream shop?” Valeria questions. 

“Yeah. In the old mall before it burned down. Robin and I knew each other from middle school and were sort of close. But she landed in the band geeks and I landed as cult leader, supposedly. But we sort of ran in different circles. She and I would catch up occasionally. We’d talked shit about Steve and how he used to be back in high school.”

“Jock, untouchable,” Valeria tacks on. 

“Exactly. But then Robin would tell me about how Steve was with the kids. I needed to see that shit for myself. So Robin knew Steve’s taking the kids to the state fair and I decided that’s my chance to see Mother Hen Steve in action. I ‘accidentally’ run into them. There’s like eight thousand kids hanging from Steve.”

Valeria snorts. “If I do my math right, I’m only counting four.”

“Will had passed by then. So there’s Lucas, Mike, Dustin, Red, and Erica. Erica is Lucas’ younger sister.”

“So five, not eight thousand.”

“Details, details, Valeria.” Eddie swats his hand in front of his face as if to clear the cloud of details out of the way. “You’re asking an ancient being to do some hard math here. Anyway, that’s how I meet the kids. Dustin finds out I DM Dungeons and Dragons and wants to know everything about the current campaign. This little snot is like eight, nine max. But he wants to know so I cave. I brought him very occasionally after school to some sessions to drop in as a playable character. When he wasn’t there, I had to pick him up so we could chat about what happened. Again, none of this shit really matters. But it’s during this state fair that I realize Red lives a few trailers off so I drop her off.

“Ever since then I’ve sort of just kept my eye out on her. Give her rides to school if her Mom was gone or just not in any state to drive. Sometimes I’d pick her up. Learned to do a mean fishtail braid for her. I mean, I’m good--pigtails, french braids, fishtails, I got it.”

“We’ll know if you got it if you can do a cornrow.”

Eddie takes a glance in the direction of her nails, pointing the braids tight to her scalp. He grins. “I’m a fast learner, that’s for sure. But yeah, between her and Wayne, I was sort of just in caretaker mode. Have been for a while.”

“Sounds like at 30 you were really just looking for someone to take care of you after what you started doing for her and Wayne.”

It’s at that--another observation that Valeria sees so plainly and feels ballsy enough to utter that makes Eddie crack. He looks down to the space between them. The shared blanket holds the shape and bend of Valeria’s knee, the flat of the couch cushion, and the beginning of Eddie’s thigh. There’s just inches between them. 

“Did it again, didn’t I?” Valeria asks. 

“I’m starting to think you’re my Robin,” Eddie laughs. It’s a little bit more wet with humor. Most likely, it’s the tears that are filling his lower lash lines that Valeria spots that make his voice thicker. 

“I’m lost in the sauce,” Valeria whispers. “Is this a good thing?”

“Robin and Steve--they’re like bookends. They just get each other. Not a lot of effort. Like you sort of get me. And the more you get me, the more I get you.”

“Maybe I am your Robin. But I’d hate to know what you think about me. I know it’s not all pretty.”

“I think you like helping others so you don’t actually have to confront whatever it is that’s going on with you. It’s easier to help others than help yourself.”

Valeria huffs. “You’re not wrong.”

“If it wasn’t just the deaths of your parents, I’m sure it’s definitely something else alongside it. There is an extensive history with cops though. Enough so that you don’t like them and the place you lived after your parent’s death, was it the dealer? That you mentioned earlier?”

“If we’re playing BINGO, you’ve got a ‘B’ and an ‘I’. Looking for the whole word?” 

Eddie places a hand on Valeria’s knee over the blanket, giving in a squeeze. “I’m sure I’d get some of it wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not about him,” Valeria confesses. Definitely not about him. Valeria’s sure he’s the spot in her life that everything sort of unraveled for her. She wanted him. He wanted her. But she knew it was bad. Didn’t mean it stopped her. She’d still snuck out when she could at night. She still danced in the fire. She still got burned, staring down barrels she shouldn’t have been looking down. Still got covered in blood she shouldn’t have been covered in. Blood that maybe would’ve still been spilled--she had no hands in who owed who what kind of money. But still, Valeria was supposed to go to a sleepover and she hadn’t. She instead became a witness. 

“Hey, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to,” Eddie reassures. 

His palms are warm. Valeria follows that warmth and slowly blinks back to the living room. The TV. The show. The popcorn. Eddie. 

“Welcome back,” Eddie laughs. 

“Hi,” Valeria whispers.

“You good?”

She can only manage another nod, for a moment. Her voice is soft. “You’re close. Not him, but my ex used to say I don’t let others help too easily. She said it made her feel like I didn’t trust her. And I did trust her. Up until a point.”

“When you suspected cheating?”

Valeria nods. “Intuition can be a bitch sometimes.”

“But it can save us too. Too damn good at it at times.”

“Dustin?” Valeria questions. “Did he save you both times?”

Eddie nods. It’s slow to come--the nodded confession. Eddie’s jaw falls open, but nothing comes out. He closes it once, exhales deeply. His second attempt to get the words out is just as silent as the first. Just as Valeria can work up the nerve to tell Eddie doesn’t have to go there, he’s speaking again. Third time really is the charm. His palms are still cupping her cheeks. “What can I say? Kid’s got killer instincts. If you’re looking for the full word, I think you got bingo ages ago.”

Valeria shakes her head. “I only think I’m up to the ‘G’. Occasionally, I can fight fair.”

“Only occasionally, I bet. Right?”

“When it’s fair to do so.”

Eddie snorts. “It’s fair all the time to do it.”

Valeria only shrugs. “It’s like you said, I didn’t grow up in a nice part of town. Only fight fair when it’s the fair thing to do. And most of the time, it’s not. Someone else always has the advantage.”

Eddie’s hands disappear under the blanket. Valeria’s watching, but her gaze is out of focus. Not much has come to her in the form of advantage. When fingers find the bend of her knee and tug, she gives in, sliding herself across the cushion. Now her chest pressed into Eddie’s arm. He’s quick to sling the arm pressed into her around her shoulders. “No disadvantages here.” 

It sounds like a promise. No disadvantages here. 

Valeria wants the words to taste like it too, but Eddie’s attention has turned back to the TV. He’s warm, his hand soothing up and down her back. Valeria drops her forehead to Eddie’s ribs. His heart beats against her forehead. No disadvantages here. The thump, thumpity, thump of Eddie’s heart still echoes through her bones. I told you, I’m just charging for parts. Thump, thumpity, thump. The more you get me, the more I get you.

The question burns on her tongue. How can Eddie never be receptive to nice things, to tenderness when it’s directed to him but give it so freely? How could Valeria do it? How had they survived this long with bleeds still running? Would they ever stop? Valeria’s crying before she realizes. The tears are slipping down her cheeks and falling down her chin. Some hit the couch cushions, some of it falls into the hip of Eddie’s pants. 

Valeria presses her hand into his hip, bringing her head up. With the back of her hands, she’s able to swipe the tears from her cheeks. “Hey, Eddie,” Valeria starts. She doesn’t need to. He’s already turning to her, hand coming up to her cheek. 

“Yeah? You okay?”

“I need you to promise me something.”

Eddie’s already sighing, like somehow he might’ve known this was coming from her. “I’m not great with promises.”

“Just this one from me,” Valeria returns. Maybe if she gets him to promise it, then it means it’ll have to come true. Wouldn’t that be a true miracle at the end of their story if she gets him to promise?

“Let me hear what it is first,” Eddie laughs, using his thumbs to wipe her cheeks. 

“I need you to promise first.” It falls apart if he doesn’t promise first. “If I tell you first, and you don’t promise it’s worthwhile. Do you trust me?”

Eddie sighs, forehead resting against hers. “If I didn’t trust you, you absolutely would not be in my house. But I know you’re going to make me promise something I can’t fulfill. You believe in me too much.”

Maybe it’s worthless anyhow. They’d always be who they are and change doesn’t happen just in one weekend or just because of one person. Change would take time. Change would take their own desire for forward momentum. It feels childish really. But still Valeria thinks the world would give people like her and Eddie comfort. It would give in some way to allow them peace. 

“You don’t believe in yourself enough,” Valeria laughs. It’s not because it’s funny. It’s because there was the damn mirror again between them. A mirror based in brown irises and black pupils for each of them. 

There’s a long silence. Eddie’s forehead is still pressed to hers. His hands are cupping her face. Valeria’s holding onto his elbows. But there’s nothing until Eddie speaks, “I promise.”

“You promise to accept kindness without question. You promise that before you know it love gets easier to accept because you tell yourself you deserve it.” It’s a lot to ask. Some might say too much and Valeria knows that. It’s still worth a shot though. 

Eddie nods. “I promise.” It falls out choked, but still audible. 

“Does it feel like a nail in the coffin?”

“More than you realize, Valeria.”

The thing Valeria is sure that neither of them really realize when she wakes in Eddie’s bed, sheets covering her bare skin, is that there are many more nails that can go into the coffin. And the right person can pry them loose if allowed. Valeria’s not sure if Eddie promising is his consent for her to pry one nail loose for the one she nailed in. But she likes to think so. 

“No cold pancakes today,” Eddie teases when Valeria joins him in the kitchen. His torso is bare. The red lines from yesterday morning are fading. But there are a few marks from last night still lingering on his shoulders. As he turns with a steaming mug in hand, the hickies Valeria sucked into his skin are fading. A couple are hard to see in the distance thanks to the ink. 

“Need help?” Valeria asks, shuffling forward.

“Almost done. Sleep okay?”

Valeria nods around her sip and once it’s down replies verbally, “Like a baby. You?”

“Like a baby,” he echoes. 

Their breakfast goes by with laughter. Valeria regails some stories of her time playing softball. Eddie recounts the shows he used to play at The Hideout. It’s easy. There’s no indication on what makes this morning easier. Valeria knows that in reality by tomorrow she’ll be gone. Headed back to her life almost as if nothing had ever happened. Perhaps this is what makes it easier. They don’t have to do more than ride out the rest of the day. They don’t have to do anything more than just exist as they always have. 

Valeria swipes Eddie’s keys from the dining room table. His boots make a heavy thud as he walks up the hallway. “Anywhere else I should explore?” Valeria asks as Eddie collects the lunch pail--Wayne’s--and the thermos that she set out. 

“It’s Hawkins. Not Indy,” Eddie laughs. 

“Don’t remind me.”

“Did you find the lake?”

“There’s a lake?” Valeria asks. She doesn’t recall seeing many signs about a lake. Though Valeria knows she gets a little direction blind. When she has somewhere to go she focuses on just getting there safely.

Eddie nods. “Lovers Lake.”

Valeria cringes at the name. “I have a feeling I’m going to run across horny teenagers and as much as I think people are free to do what they want within reason, I am not looking to stumble across bare asses of children.”

Eddie slings his arm around her shoulder. “Yeah, there is that risk. Then, I’m afraid you’ve seen it all.”

Valeria’s content with that. A small town is a small town at the end of the day. But if she had more to do other than what’s already there then she’d definitely make it a priority. “Any particular requests for dinner?”

“Yeah, actually, I do,” Eddie starts, opening the driver side door for Valeria. The February chill is softer today than previously. It’s still cold, but not terribly so, not like the second day Valeria was here. She’s sure her perception of her first day is entirely warped. Valeria climbs in, with a bit of a grunt because it does take more for her to get up into the truck than her car. “That it be my treat,” Eddie concludes. He leans up against the door molding of the truck, watching Valeria get herself buckled in. “How does pizza sound? It is Friday.”

“Are pizza Fridays a ritual for you?”

“Something like that. And look,” Eddie holds up the lunch pail, “I’ll have had a balanced lunch.”

Valeria snorts. “Pizza sounds like a lovely way to end the day.”

“Sweet.” Eddie’s grin goes from ear to ear. “Because I most definitely was getting pizza either way.”

Valeria laughs. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have expected much else.” Navigating out of the trailer park and onto the main roads is easy--something Valeria’s ingrained into her mind already given the amount of times she’s gotten in and out of it. “So where do you normally go to get pizza around here?”

“No, absolutely not. If I tell you, you’ll go and get it before getting me. I’m not giving you that information.” The radio station changes. Valeria doesn’t argue with the switch given it is Eddie’s truck. More guitars shred through the speakers. “I know you.”

“Because you would do it?” 

“Absolutely I would.” 

“Fine. I’ll go find Lucas or Max or Dustin. Don’t make me go to Steve,” Valeria threatens. She assumes that Steve would know Eddie’s routines. She’d rather Eddie just tell her. So she hopes the threats make Eddie cave. They pull into a spot outside the shop. Eddie digs out his wallet from his pocket and peels out a twenty from the bifold. He holds it out between his fingers. 

“Pepperoni, extra cheese. 2-liter Mountain Dew. If Ma is there, she will throw in mozzarella sticks. Take them.”

“How do I know if Ma is there?” Valeria cautiously takes the bill. 

“Oh, you’ll know.”

“And the name of the place?” Valeria questions.

Eddie grins, sliding across the seats. “Ask Dustin, or Lucas, or Steve. See you at 7.” Valeria’s not sure why she expected much else from Eddie. Perhaps Eddie might be right that they are something to each other, even if they are a pain in each other’s asses. Just like yesterday, she waits until Eddie’s safe inside the building, flicking on lights. Gareth pulls in two spots down from her. She gives a wave this time and then pulls out of the spot.

It’s really stupid. As much as she hates this place, what it’s supposed to represent, what’s happened to her in buildings like this, Valeria knows the only person who would give her a straight up answer would be here in this building. There’s a tan truck, one Valeria is pretty sure means Steve is here. The doors aren’t heavy as she swings them open. Stale coffee and the smell of cigarettes hits her nose. 

“How can I help you dear?” An older woman is at the front desk--a smile paints her face in a way that Valeria knows only comes from age. 

“Uh, this is sort of ridiculous. But is Steve Harrington around?”

“Oh, yeah, the Chief’s in. What did you need him for hon?” 

It’s so stupid. “I had-I had a question for him.”

The woman nods, reaching down for the phone. “Chief. Young lady here needs to speak with you.” Valeria and the older woman share a smile. She presses a hand over the receiver. “What’s your name dear?”

“Valeria.”

She nods. “Thank you.” As she uncovers her hand, the woman repeats Valeria’s name to Steve. They’re only on the phone for a few seconds longer and then the older woman directs her attention fully to Valeria. “He’ll be out in just a second. Can I get you anything in the meantime?”

Valeria shakes her head. “I’m okay. Thank you.” It’s okay. You’re just here about pizza. Somehow the truth doesn’t settle Valeria’s heart. She paces, clicking nails together. It’s just one question. She’d been in and out of the building in five minutes, less if that.

“You okay, Valeria?”

Steve’s hair flops down into his face as he peers down at her. Valeria takes a slight step back, but nods. “It’s sort of a stupid question,” she begins. Steve slips his hands from his waist and then they fall behind his back.

“Can’t be all that stupid for you to come this way. You’re okay though, right? No trouble from anyone?”

Valeria nods. “Yeah, I’m okay.” Though Steve probably means it sincerely, Valeria doesn’t really need the confirmation about the type of folks in this town. She’d already stopped looking so much over her shoulder 

“Good. I’m glad. What’s this question?” 

It’s just about pizza. In and out. But all the words are stuck in Valeria’s throat for a moment. She inhales deeply to steady her nerves. “It’s stupid really. It’s probably easier ways but Eddie’s not cracking.” 

Steve nods, leaning now against the wall. His face lifts in a tiny smile. “So it’s about Eddie.” 

Valeria nods. “Yeah. Do-do you know where he gets his pizza from? I offered to cook dinner again and he refused that idea.” 

A small crease forms between Steve’s brows. “And he told you he wanted pizza but didn’t tell you where?”

“It’s stupid. I’m sure there’s only so many places to get pizza in town.” It’s stupid to come here too. It’s stupid for Eddie to challenge her but alas they’re all here now. “I’m sorry,” Valeria starts. “There’s plenty more things you need to be doing. Sorry.” 

Valeria starts for the door. She can’t even explain to herself why she’d come here. There was Robin. Maybe the kids would’ve known. But Valeria had decided to come to Steve and know she’s kicking herself for the decision. 

“Benny’s. Pepperoni. Extra cheese. It’s more towards the outskirts of town. Let me get you the directions,” Steve answers. 

It’s enough to pause Valeria part way out the door. “I think I can find it,” she returns. “Thank you. For the name.”

Steve points over his shoulder. “I’m serious about the directions. It’s not easy to get to if you don’t know where you’re going.”

“I’ll be okay, Steve.”

“Is it the uniform?” Steve questions. “Or has Eddie tried to brainwash you into thinking I cheat during Monopoly?”

“You-you don’t want to go down this road,” Valeria returns. Her voice is firm. It’s not that she doesn’t want to get to know Steve or give him the benefit of the doubt. But there’s too much bad history with establishments like this. It’s not individually Steve. It’s collective. It’s the fact that he may not ever see it like she does. Not because he can’t. But because he’d only ever get a portion of it. Steve would never fully understand. No fault of his own of course. “Eddie speaks highly of you. I’m sure if I were to talk to Dustin, or Robin, or Lucas, or Max, they’d have something similar to say too. I’m sure Hopper, who you took over for, would sing you literal praises. It’s not you. But you don’t want to go down this road.” 

“I know city cops. I know what they do. I wish I could change that for you.”

“You don’t,” Valeria returns. It leaves her lips with nearly a hiss following it. “You don’t know anything about me or what it’s been like for me.”

Steve nods. “You’re right,” he adds softly. “That was a poor attempt at words. I’m sorry. I see it though. I see what they are capable of.”

Valeria’s hold tightens on the bar to the door. “Thank you for the name, Steve. I don’t think there’s anything I’m capable of hearing right now.”

“Fair--that’s fair. Thank you for being honest. Also if Ma is working at Benny’s tonight and you order, she’ll throw in--”

“Mozzarella sticks. Eddie warned me about her.” Valeria looks over her shoulder. “Eddie’s the one who cheats in monopoly?”

“All the time,” Steve huffs, a tiny grin appearing on his face. “All the fucking time.”

“Don’t let him be the banker.”

“He throws a fit if I try to be the banker.”

Valeris shrugs. “Maybe you just need to let him through a fit.”

____________________________

Steve’s directions are what Valeria could’ve only imagined to get--like his mind is linked to Expedia. Right on Main. Follow it for 2 miles. Left turn on Cherry Road. Follow it for half a mile. And so on down to the exact mile. At the bottom it’s scribbled down how long it’ll take for the pizza to cook too. It’s worth it to leave Eddie’s place and ensure the pizza doesn’t go cold. Benny’s is packed. Not that Valeria could’ve gauged how many people in town would be here. But she clutches to the note scribbled down in Steve’s handwriting, praying that even in the madness he’s right. 

“Looking for a table?”

Valeria turns to find an older woman, salt and pepper hair dyed a light blue at the ends. It’s clear she’s older given by the wrinkles on her neck. But she carries herself like a woman closer to Valeria’s age. Her smile is bright. “To-go order, if that’s okay?”

“Course it is, darlin’. What can I do you for?”

“Large pizza. Pepperoni. Extra cheese.”

“What else?” she grins. 

Valeria takes in the smack of gum between her teeth and then carries down the white t-shirt to the nametag, Ma. “That’s all.”

“You sure? We got the best damn mozzarella sticks in town. I bet.”

Valeria nods. “I’m sure. Thank you.”

“Oh alright. Follow me and I’ll get this in to the kitchen.” Ma leads Valeria through the tables and up to the counter. A few bodies line the counter plates filled with burgers and sandwiches. “Won’t be long. Want a drink while you wait?”

Valeria declines the offer. Around her there’s a crackle followed by the soft whine of guitars. She can’t tell if it’s the radio or jukebox in a corner, but the soft melody only comes to the surface of the noise in waves. The laughter and chatter swallow the music most of the time that Valeria waits. It’s warm at the counter. The kitchen’s probably boiling, but Valeria can see the line cooks laughing as their spatulas cut and flip. They’re conversation is inaudible. There’s only the curve of their lips. It doesn’t even seem to matter what they’re discussing, the orders scribbled down on Ma’s pad keep lining the window. 

“Large pep. Extra cheese. Order of Mozzarella sticks,” Ma states, sliding the box and bag over the counter. 

“How much for the sticks?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hon.” Ma winks at Valeria taking the twenty stretched out. As the change is counted, Valeria slips a five from her own wallet into the tip jar. It’s the least she can do. 

Pushing into the door with her back, Valeria is careful as she exits. The moment the door closes all the sound is swallowed up. It’s just the night. A chill runs down Valeria’s spine. This is not what she expected, a strange sense of loss. It is alive in the diner, and so cold and still outside. Valeria ponders if the town was growing on her, if it was somehow crawling up from the level of a weird town with a haunting past into a town that she could find it possible to have a fondness for. 

Eddie’s truck rumbles beneath Valeria, the tires taking the gravel of the parking lot with ease. It’s clear the diner’s been here long before the new roads and rather than pave it, the owners have let the place keep its old school charm. Valeria follows the opposite turns until she’s back on the main roads. From there it’s only a few minutes to Eddie’s shop. She pulls up and into a slot just as the clock ticks over to 7 on the radio. 

Eddie’s securing the front doors, Gareth and a couple of other guys are just slipping into their cars too. It’s dark, but with the cut of headlights, Valeria can see Eddie’s smile. “Did you figure it out?” he asks. 

“Hop in and find out,” Valeria laughs. 

Eddie, thankfully, does not need to be told twice. He jogs over to the passenger side and there on the floor is the box and bag with Benny’s logo staring back at him. “Oh, who told you?” he asks climbing into the truck. 

“Thank the Chief,” Valeria answers, waiting for the click of Eddie’s seatbelt before she gets the truck into gear to reverse. 

“You willingly went to Steve?”

“You gave me no choice,” she laughs, pulling into a stop right at the mouth of the parking lot. When she’s sure it’s clear she pulls onto the road. 

“I didn’t think you’d choose Steve. Thought you might wait for me,” Eddie returns. 

“I’m a bear with small brains. Can’t really read between the lines.”

His laughter is sharp. “Don’t believe that for a second. You’re just stubborn.”

“Aren’t those the same thing?” 

“For us, they might be.”

Valeria grins, pulling to a stop at the light. For them, stubbornness is always the name of the game. Life is never fun without a little bit of a challenge. Valeria wonders just how stubborn the two of them can be. “I have a question and you can say no,” she starts. “Can totally say no. I feel like I already know the answer, but I am curious.”

“I’m listening.” 

It’s all Eddie gives, but it’s enough. Valeria knows if she presses too hard, Eddie will let her know. “Did you press charges? Back when you got mobbed basically—did you do anything about it?”

“No. Like I said, I was dealing. If I pressed charges it was eventually going to come back why Chrissy was with me in the first place.” 

“And it was putting food on the table,” Valeria concludes. Survival was probably more important than justice at the moment. Long term survival meant Eddie needs to keep making money. 

“She broke up with Jason a few months later. Jason is Liv’s dad.”

Small town gossip--a juicy being but Valeria knows more than just something to gape at, these were real people. There were real stakes with this information. “Does Liv know? Like who her dad is? I assume it might be hard to hide in a town this small.”

“Oh she knows. He helps out a little financially from what Chrissy tells me but she got cut off from her parents after getting pregnant and refusing to marry Jason. She hasn’t had much money to spare to get out of Hawkins. Jason left for college. Almost went pro and then got injured before he could. So he came back. Apparently he was married to somebody from college. Didn’t last once his chance at pro ball went south.” 

“Karma huh?” Valeria takes the turn into the trailer park with practiced ease now. 

“I feel bad for him now. He was a prick for sure but I think Jason got so caught up in status that it swallowed him. Like without status, Jason thinks he’s nothing but he’s not. I don’t know. Getting older’s made me realize how fragile life really is. I don’t know if he’ll ever get himself out of the hole.”

Valeria parks right outside the trailer. Both of them are still as if the seatbelts have fully restrained them. “I guess you could say that the older you get the wiser you get. Maybe. For some.” 

“Something like that.” 

The sentence releases them. Eddie unbuckles himself and Valeria follows suit. At the very least this is normal to them. This is known. “The part for your car came today.” Eddie takes the keys from Valeria and she takes the food in the exchange. “About an hour before we closed up shop and I didn’t want anyone rushing that. So it’s on the agenda first thing tomorrow.”

Valeria knows the news should bring her delight. And it does. She’s so fucking relieved to know that she won’t be stranded for too much longer. But her first thought is that leaving means she’ll actually be gone. She won’t be waking up to Eddie’s breakfast. She won’t feel so awkward which is a relief but she is saddened to have a close on her time with him so soon. “No one to force you to eat vegetables at least once a day.”

“I have Steve for that,” Eddie laughs. “And Red, and Sinclair, and Henderson. Buckley gives less of a shit but if Steve starts it, she’ll join in.”

“Now you can see it.”

“I made a promise,” Eddie huffs. “Because a certain someone insisted.”

Valeria grins. “Damn right I did.”

“Go nuts,” Eddie states gesturing to the food on the table, “I’m going to clean the grime off me first.” Valeria doesn’t really need the heads up. She’d learned his pattern already. Eddie would always shower before dinner. Valeria always showered after. Perhaps, it wasn’t Eddie’s normal routine. Or maybe it was. Either way, she was already comfortable in knowing he’d excuse himself. Valeria nods, toeing out of her shoes and heading into the guest room to shed the layers of the day. 

Her phone chimes as she’s in the middle of pulling her sweatshirt up over her head. It chimes again. When Valeria’s free from the cotton, she opens the two texts: Hope you’re safe.

 Let me know if you need anything. 

Both messages are from Chelsea. Valeria hadn’t called her or Tatianna. Valeria had connected with Tammie briefly for the daily check in. It felt nice to have someone who made it a part of their day to check in with her given the circumstances. The calls were growing shorter. It seemed the more Valeria regaled about her time here, the less Tammie worried. It didn’t make it all go away, but some portion of it lessened. It may have helped that Valeria always had time to answer. 

Thanks for checking in. I’m OK. It’s all Valeria feels she can say. Perhaps, in person it might be easier to see how much Chelsea means it. A text is something, but something in her gut makes it feel like it’s Tammie’s doing. Like maybe the only reason she picked up the phone is just to satisfy someone else, but not Valeria and not for herself either. 

Her phone shakes again. Okay to call?

Yes. It’s automatic. Or that’s what Valeria tells herself. They’d been friends since college. They’d been through heartbreaks together. It’s automatic to say yes. 

“Hey, Val.”

“Hey, Chels.”

Then silence--an awkward pause where Valeria’s not sure if she should ask Chelsea what had sparked the call. This is the space where words should be, and yet they are not. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call before.”

There’s nothing else. No excuse, which would’ve been easy. Chelsea had a job, one kid, her fiance. Any of those could’ve been excuses and yet, Chelsea does not offer a single one of them as some sort of scapegoat. 

“I could’ve texted more,” Valeria offers. She could’ve. It’s the truth. 

“I don’t blame you. I’ve been not great at communicating.”

“Is everything okay?” Valeria questions. It’s soft. Like she’s not sure if Chelsea is offering this because she needs something or if she’s really sorry.

“Between us, probably not. In other regards of my life, yeah.”

Valeria exhales, “Oh.” It’s a lame response. But it’s all she can say around the shock. Chelsea isn’t not the type to own up to her mistakes. But she was never really blunt. Valeria was. 

“I think-I think I should start over. Val, I called today because I wanted to apologize. Tammie told us you were stranded in Hawkins the same day it happened. I think after you called her from the shop. And I worried, I did. I swear I did. But I didn’t take two minutes to send you a quick message or to call. I assumed, hoped, prayed maybe you’d be back on the road that same day. And you weren’t. But then Tammie said you were okay and you’ve always been smart and kept your wits about you. I figured if anyone of us were stranded in a small town and were to survive it, it would be you. But just hearing Tammie should’ve have sufficed like it did. We don’t have to talk every single day. We’ve got a lot of things going on in our lives. But two minutes. I couldn’t take two minutes when you needed it the most. I’m disgusted with myself. And I’m not calling you right now to throw a pity party and get you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know. I do care about you. I do love you. I’m sorry I fumbled it this time.”

The tears have choked Valeria. She settles onto the edge of the bed, swiping the back of her hand under her nose. With a blink more tears slip down her cheek. “I appreciate it, Chels. I do.”

“Thanks for hearing me out. I anticipated you ending the call about halfway through it.”

Valeria laughs and shakes her head though Chelsea can’t see it. “No, no I wouldn’t do that. I’d think about it though.”

“Do you have an ETA on car parts?”

“They-the parts just came in today. Should be fixed tomorrow.”

“You-you don’t have to answer this, but what’s the damage to your pockets?”

“I-I can handle it. Thanks, Chels.”

Chelsea hums, it vibrates through the receiver. “Yeah, no worries. You’re safe though, right?”

Valeria gives a nod, still clearing her cheeks of tears. “Yeah, I’m safe.”

“Good. Let me know when you’re up on the road, if-if it’s not too much.”

“I can do that.” Two minutes--that’s all it would take. It seems like an easy enough promise to keep. Their goodbyes come quietly. There’s no ‘love you’ punctuated like Valeria and Tamara do. But it’s still love. The clack of the phone echoes. Valeria still sat on the edge of the bed. She’s still in Eddie’s trailer. She’s still in Hawkins. 

A knock comes from the door and Valeria inhales before turning to the sound. “I swear if it’s not me crying, it’s you,” Eddie teases. 

“I’m okay,” Valeria states. The bed dips and she knows it’s Eddie settling down next to her. 

“You can be okay and cry. You can cry and not be okay,” Eddie returns. 

“You’re pizza’s going to get cold.”

“Are you really worried about the pizza or do you just need a moment?” 

His fingers are warm. Valeria curls her digits around his. “Just need a minute.” 

“Take all the minutes you need.” Eddie presses a kiss to the back of her hand before he leaves. It’s just Valeria again. There’s still anger. Of course it takes Valeria being stranded to open the light for Chelsea. Valeria’s not sure if she’s glad to finally have cracked the surface with Chelsea. Maybe time would tell. 

Valeria pushes off the bed and shuffles back into the front of the house. Eddie’s at the dining room table, box of pizza still closed, bag of mozzarella sticks still tied shut. There’s two paper plates set out. “I see you waited.”

“I see you only needed a minute.” Valeria sees in his gaze the question: What happened? “Chelsea called me.” 

Eddie’s untying the bag and Valeria’s popping the top to the pizza box. “Who’s that?”

“Friend of mine. She and I--we’ve been sort of on a thin rope. But she-she heard from Tammie about me being here and checked on me.”

“That rope a little thicker now?”

“Maybe,” Valeria returns, dropping two slices onto her plate. “Maybe. Only time will tell.”

Tagging: @munsonology @2clones-1kamino @avidreader73

[masonscig]

this turned into a bit of a thoughts dump so feel free to ignore it or delete it or whatever but maybe it'll resonate with someone else out there??????? makmnakjmsksms

i have a lot of feelings and thoughts about wayhaven and i could probably sit here and spill them all out (which is why i came to you as a safe space for the #haters, joking but also not joking) but instead i think i want to try to focus on the parts that truly bring me joy, if that's alright?

it's like you said about the pandemic in one of your posts, wayhaven became huge in my circle of friends at a very strange time in my life, when i felt very alone and adrift and it was really nice to have things to think about that weren't the fact my world was collapsing.

i hadn't realised that wayhaven was about much deeper things for me until i came back for book three after an extended time away from the fandom and felt my mood drop immediately and my insecurities started coming back. i changed over the course of the pandemic and came back to wayhaven as a different person who didn't need the same things i did during the book two era.

(girl get to the positive part kmksmsksmks)

i think the positive part is that i met people who are so talented (you are definitely one of the best and most heartfelt writers i've come across jade! your passion for your characters and for life itself is inspiring!) and that's the reason why i was able to change and not need wayhaven in the first place.

so it's this bittersweet paradox of knowing that wayhaven was part of a journey for me, but i don't need it anymore, and being back feels lonely and a little heartbreaking, and having a more critical eye makes that worse.

this is genuinely one of the sweetest most uplifting takes i've seen on this series/fandom and i'm genuinely so thankful that you took the time to write this out and send it to me <3

god i don't even have any words, you've put it in such a great way – i actually sent a screenshot of this to some close friends, and we agreed that you're right – t/w/c book 2 dropped during a sweet spot for a lot of us. not because it was a particularly good time, but because it was a particularly lonely time and we looked for solace in any kind of fiction that provided an escape

it's a bit sad, because i know for me i've felt really displaced both in fandom spaces and irl (is the pandemic over? is there something that'll keep my interest like t/w/c and other ifs/vns did?) and my friends and i were really looking forward to book 3 coming back for so many reasons – a huge one being "we have unused creative energy left over from t/w/c days with nowhere to put it" and now... it's like it's just evaporated. it's defeating honestly!

okay sorry i know this was overwhelmingly negative LMAO but you're right! a lot of us have just grown out of this series and this space and that's okay! it's okay to mourn something that was a huge part of your life if you don't enjoy it the same anymore.

it's par for the course that plenty of people have moved on at their own pace or (or aren't ready to let go) and have complex feelings about coming back (or leaving). it's a lot! i know it can easily be dismissed as "not that deep" but it truly is! being in this fandom has changed me, for better or for worse, because of the people i've met who've loved on me and the people i've loved on that i may never get to know on a level outside of tumblr.

i know this is soooo sappy and stupid but i do genuinely hope that despite my feelings on book 3, there are people who still experience that love and euphoria i got from playing t/w/c the first time – i know i'll never be able to replicate the feelings that i got when i first fell in love with the series and met my friends, but god, do i wish that others get to experience that at some point

edit: oh my god i forgot to thank you for being so fucking sweet to me – thank you thank you thank you i hope that your soup is always warm and your pillow is always cold and you never have to stop at a red light (BECAUSE THEYRE ALWAYS GREEN NOT BECAUSE YOUR BRAKES ARE OUT OR ANYTHING LMFAOAOAO)