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skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru · 4 years

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SFW ALPHABET A-Z

Gojo Satoru Edition 💙

note: I just want to thank everyone for making this blog hit 500+ followers. Never in my wildest dreams would have thought to have a writing blog and a one that is so supported and loved. I love everyone single of my followers and readers who took the time to read my content. English isn’t my first language so I struggle a lot when writing since I make a lot of typos and I barely have any writing skills. Even though I reread it to check I still manage to find some typos so I’m constantly editing, even my old posts. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have no idea how happy each comment or reblogs makes me, I love reading what you guys think. I will continue to work hard for you guys and the jkk community! Please look forward to future updates my lovelies! ❤

A= Admiration (How do they admire you? What is their thoughts about you? What is their reaction in meeting you for the first time? Do they instantly like you?)

Gojou loves staring at you and he's not afraid if he gets caught.

Even if you're doing chores or you're laughing with the first years. You could of just woken up with messy hair, drool dried on the corner of your mouth and he'll still think you're the most beautiful person in the world.

When he stares at you it's as if the world slows down and everyone goes in slow motion. He'll notice the twinkle in your eyes or how you suddenly shifted to your right. As he's in a trace where his hearts flutters at the sight of you.

His Six Eyes will notice even the tiniest detail about you.

Even in a crowded room his eyes will immediately try to find your form. You're the first person he seeks whenever and wherever.

He likes to boast about you to everyone, especially his students. You're his lover and he's proud to have you.

To him, you're his equal, his safe haven. You're the only person he can truly let his guard down with. You love him not because "he's the strongest shaman" but just as "Satoru" and that's something he thinks about that makes him feel all warm inside.

You're his everything, he wouldn't know what would he do if he ever loses you. If Gojou truly loves you he will fully commit to it.

You and Gojou didn't exactly start off on the right foot.

You thought he was too arrogant and annoying.

While he thought you were weak and boring.

You quickly proved that wrong, and his perception of you changed. He would often tease you and find opportunities to spar with you.

You slowly started to grow on each other from rivals to lovers.

He's still annoying though.

B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)

Why absolutely! You guys are lovers at the same time bestfriends.

Gojou is very comfortable around you. He's pretty confident man already but when he's around you there's no breaks for this man.

He will do the wackiest and craziest things just see you laugh and smile.

You both tell each other everything, such as recent turn of events or even student gossip. He loves to gossip.

You can expect him to wake you up at 2 am just to go to McDonald's while blasting music from the car while you both sing on top of your lungs.

Of course there will be moments where both have arguments or disagreements but they don't last long. They get solved pretty easily.

"Wanna get icecream?"

"Fine, but you're playing."

Gojou can be quite obnoxious at times and you're not afraid to let him know. He doesn't listen and still annoy you anyways.

But now you should be used to his antics and don't take them too seriously.

There is no such thing as a boundary for this man.

He can literally become your safe haven during sad times or hell as he tickles you until you cry.

C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)

If he could, Gojou would always want to be cuddling with you. Whenever and wherever you both are.

He loves the feeling of having you in his arms or him in your arms. His home is where your arms are. It's one of the moments where his Infinity isn't activated.

He wrap his long limps around you and bring you as physically close as possible so he can nuzzle against you or press kisses to you.

Whenever he's in a cuddling mood or he's feeling stressed he'll come to find you and pull you to the nearest chair. He'll have you sit in his lap while he embraces you tightly. He won't go until he's satisfied too!

He usually prefers to be the bigger spoon, he likes the idea that you're safe within his arms. Sometimes he'll just stare at you while you sleep, smiling to himself as he drifts off to sleep.

If you're both in bed you must cuddle! It's a rule he made up.

He doesn't being the little spoon either, he loves the feeling of when you playing with hair. He truly feels comfortable and vulnerable within your arms.

He can't decide with position he likes best, he just likes the feeling of your body close to his.

D= Domestic (Are they willing to settle down with you? Are they willing to do chores? What do you two do at home?)

Gojou never thought he would settle down. That is until he met you!

With his busy and dangerous lifestyle, he thought he would spend the rest of his days alone.

Being with him, is a huge risk. The higher ups or the enemies would use you as a bargaining chip.

After lots of convincing, that you'll promise to be by his side forever. You'll have his heart now and forever.

Gojou when he's at home...he's lazy. He'll be munching on some snacks, lying on the sofa while you hang the laundry.

Somedays he's tired from work, so you let him be but if he really isn't doing anything. Some threats work really well on him.

"If you don't don't do the laundry, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight!"

"Then I'm off to do it!"

Having growing up with servants, he's not used to doing household chores.

But he will try, because he doesn't want you take take on the full workload. Teach him, he's a fast learner!

At home, within your arms is where he feels safest. Majority of the time you two would be in contact with each other one way or another.

You're watching tv? He's sitting you with his arm around your shoulder. If you're cooking, he'll come and unexpectedly hug you from behind. This man craves your touch.

Watching movies or television is something you both do very often, you'll both be snuggled up together, while Gojou throws commentary here and there.

Cooking or baking is another thing you both do. Majority of the time you both rarely get to spend together due to Gojou's work schedule. Who ever arrives home first will have to make dinner. However, you two are both at home you both help each other make a delicious dessert or meal. Nothing like eating a home cooked meal together.

Playing video games together is a must! You're his player number 2. He's very competitive so if he wins, it's non stop boasting but if he loses he demands an immediate rematch. Mario Kart or Super Smash Brothers is some the common ones you both play.

E= Endeavor (Are they supportive in you trying to do something? Will they help you reach for it?)

Gojou Satoru is known to be your literal hype man.

He will be very supportive of you and what you're trying to accomplish. As long as it's not something like becoming a murder. He's gonna have to do a double take on that.

If you're gonna become a piano, he'll have a grand piano delivered straight to your home. If you're gonna become an artist, he will buy you the best art supplies.

As they say "live your life to the fullest" and Gojou completely agrees with that statement.

If you're trying to learn something new, he will be encouraging you. There are times where he can be a little but don't take it to heart. He just wants you to improve and sugarcoating things isn't always the best way to improve.

If you're feeling down but you're trying to achieve, he'll be there to comfort you and motivate you.

"Things won't always go your way, but I promise I'll be there to cheer you on."

If you're trying to learn a new skill, he might have a go at it too. He's a fast learner but if he doesn't or can't do something, he'll just blame it on the fact that if he does it then he's gonna become perfect so he chooses not to. It's just to save his huge ego.

F= Fights (How often do you guys fight? Who apologizes first? How long will the fight last? What is the reason behind the fight?)

You guys argue pretty often but they're mostly about trival issues. Like Gojou forgot to take out the trash or who cooks today.

If you both do fight seriously. It would definitely have to do with "work". Because of Gojou's busy schedule you're not sure when will he be back home or when he will be gone. If you both have very different schedules it would definitely lead to some misunderstandings.

If you realize you did something wrong you'll apologize to him right away. While he spouts things like "I told you so!" but he's only teasing.

If he realizes he did something wrong it'll take him a while for him to admit it. Depending on the seriousness of the situation his apology will differ.

If it's something trivial, he'll just pepper you with kisses while says sorry a hundred times.

If it's serious, he'll fully embrace you and apologize, straight to the point no needless words.

Trivial fights don't last long but serious one may take time. Depending on who's wrong or right.

Gojou is a stubborn person so even if he's wrong it'll take him a while to admit it. Maybe days or a week but no longer than that. After all he can't resist not being around you.

G= Guard (Are they protective of you? How protective are they? Are they willing to risk themselves to save you?)

This depends whether you're a shaman or a civilian.

If you are a civilian, he will be very protective of you. You don't have the ability to see curses so who knows what or when can hurt you.

He'll take sure to put lots of talismans and barriers around your home for safety.

Gojou due to his busy work schedule won't always be home or be around you. During these days he's worried sick about you.

He'll be sure to message or call you whenever he can to check up on you.

If he truly senses you're in danger, no matter what he'll go to you instantly. After that happens he'll more frightened of losing you and might resort to leaving you.

Despite how much he loves you, you're life is more precious than him. He can't risk that by being around you.

If you're a shaman just like him, he won't be as protective over you. He'll understand and trust that you'll be able to defend yourself.

He'll make sure to spar with you so that you won't lose in touch in fighting.

Even though he knows you can take care of yourself, in his heart he still worries for you. So he may or may not pop up randomly during your missions and exorcise the curse immediately.

You may end up getting annoyed or mad at him because you may think he thinks you're weak but that's not the case. He just loves you and worries about you.

Whether you're a civilian or shaman, Gojou will 100% risk his life to save you. He's lost so many people, he can't afford lose you too.

If you're out in public, he'll be sure to be holding your hand or have an arm around your waist. He'll glare at anyone who looks at you funny through his sunglasses.

Gojou has a massive presence so good luck to anyone who tries to approach you. They gotta get through him first.

H= Healing (What is their reaction in you getting hurt? Do they get hurt often? Do they help you patching you up? Or do they not know how to patch you up, and tries their hardest?)

Gojou hates seeing you hurt in anyway. Even if it's a tiny wound. It's kinda like if you're hurt he's hurt too. That's his way of thinking.

If you get injured during a mission, you can bet Gojou will be all over you.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"For the hundred time, yes..."

Despite your assurance that are fine, he'll still insist to take you to Shoko just to be safe.

If it's a trivial wound like you accidentally cut yourself or you stubbed your toe. Gojou will be the one to take care of the wound. He does have basic knowledge on how to treat wounds.

If it's a severe wound, he'll instantly bring you to Shoko. He'll teleport all the way from Hokkaido to Tokyo if he has to.

He doesn't know how to use the Reverse Cursed Technique but at the moment when you're dying in his arms he will try his best to.

He will literally become your human shield if he knows things are dire.

If he sees an enemy wound you, well it's gonna be game over for the enemy. Instant oblivion.

It is known that Gojou has his Infinity activated at all times, so he doesn't ever get hurt whether from missions or trivial issues.

Very rare but when he does turn off his Infinity he can get hurt but it's because he let's it happen.

He still gets sick from time to time because that's something his Infinity can't protect him from.

I= Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do you two often go on dates?)

Gojou as we all know is very affectionate and romantic person.

He's very cheesy and likes to tease you just to see you blush.

He can't keep his hands off of you, he has to be touching you even just by lacing your fingers together. He also likes to stand near you often behind you or right beside you.

Gojou goes all over Japan for his missions and he makes sure to always bring a souvenir home for you whether it's a little trinket or something you'll like. Definitely will buy sweets, he'll share just a little though.

You'll often be surprised with deliveries of bouquets at work addressed to you but not written from who but you know who it is.

This man is extremely rich, so you ever have an eye on something, he'll secretly buy it for you.

When you're cold, he'll give you his jacket or hug you to keep you warm. If you're feeling hot under the sun, use this man as your personal shade. He doesn't mind.

It's rare for the both of you to have day offs at the same time so it's always something special to him.

He'll either take you out shopping or a cafe date.

He loves going around Tokyo with you to different places and secretly takes pictures of you when you're not looking.

If you don't feel like going anywhere he's fine with just cuddling you while watching a movie.

Gojou just has a sense for you if you're feeling down or stressed. He'll instantly know and would try to make you feel better.

He can cook your favorite meal or even give you a massage.

He's not shy to show the world how much he loves you, everyone in the Jujutsu society knows about you two.

J= Jealousy (How often do they get jealous? Do they get easily jealous? How will they react?)

Gojou doesn't get jealous easily. He trusts you and knows the things you do and won't do. However, on rare occasions it does happen but he won't directly voice it out.

"I'm the strongest most handsome shaman ever!" But behind that he still has insecurities. It usually depends on the person you're interacting with. If he sees you getting a little too close to someone, he'll step inーcausally stepping in between the two of you. A hand around your waist around strangers and a full on back hug around people he knows.

If a stranger tries to pick you up, he'll swoop right in towering the poor stranger. He knows he's attractive and he knows show to use it.

"Pay attention to me (Y/N), not Nanami!.

"Satoru, we're talking the recent sighting of a grade 1 cursed spirit."

Afterwards he'll just be very whiny and needy, he wants your full attention on him and him only!

K= Kissing (Do they like kissing you? Are they shy or confident in kissing you?)

Gojou Satoru loves all forms of affection. Kissing being one of them.

Gojou has had experience with kissing so he knows what he's doing. One moment he'll be kissing you sweetly then it turns into a full blown make out session.

He's not embarrassed about kissing you in public. Despite the Japanese culture of being conservative of PDA. He won't be making out with you in front of the entire crosswalk but he'll give you pecks or smooches that last a moment or two.

Whenever he leaves for work, he'll always ask for his goodbye kiss or when he's back home he'll be eagerly waiting for your kiss.

Whenever you both pass by each other whether at home or at school, he'll press a chaste kiss to you.

His tongue is divine, he definitely knows how to use his tongue. You can bet he knows how to tie a cherry into a knot using just his tongue.

You will always taste something sweet lingering on him as you kiss him.

He doesn't have a specific type of kiss he likes, he likes them all as long as they're with you. Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, eskimo kisses you name it!

He will definitely will to try out all forms of kisses with you.

L= Love (Who drops the L-word first? Would they rather say it or do it?)

Love is a complicated feeling, Gojou hasn't felt that before with any of his past relationships.

That was until he met you. That's when he realized that what the feeling was.

You were cuddling in bed together, face to face. There was no talking just silence as the two of you stare deeply into each other's eyes. Only the light of the moonlight peaking through the curtains illuminating the room.

Gojou stares into your eyes with a soft smile on his face as he gently lays his hand on your cheek.

Your eyes held the universe within them, the universe that is you and it's staring back at him with so much love and affection within them. He feels the warmth spread throughout his body. He whispers softly "I love you..." as his own eyes reflect yours.

You gasp with eyes widening, processing the words he spoke. You feel your eyes well up in tears, as your cheeks warm. You place your hand over his and whisper back "I love you too.." smiling brightly at him.

That was the moment when he first told you he loved you, it was so genuine and raw.

Afterwards he'll always voice out that he loves you but of course he shows it as well. He'll call you beautiful while pressing a kiss to your forehead.

M= Marriage (How do they propose to you? What’s their ideal wedding like? Where do you plan it?)

Gojou is a very spontaneous man, I can imagine him doing it during the most mundane and random moments. Such as after you're both walking home from a date or maybe it's late into the night while you're both cuddling.

Maybe moments where you're hurt or if he almost lost you.

"Marry me, (Y/N)..."

It's just a spur of the moment kind of thing, when he's the most vulnerable. When he realizes "ah, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person..."

Gojou is pretty flexible with the kind of wedding he wants. He doesn't really have a dream wedding.

The elders of his clan would definitely bug him for a Traditional one as it is customary.

However, if you want a Western style wedding instead he will definitely go for it.

Mostly likely, you both will have two weddings one traditional and western.

Money is different not an issue with this man. Say the word and you shall receive. It's definitely going to be extravagant.

Whether you want to or not he'll find a way to splurge his money.

If the elders are opposed to your marriage you'll both will just have a private wedding, inviting the people closest to you guys.

Not marrying you because someone said no is not an option for him.

N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)

Gojou has a variety of nicknames for you!

Ranging from the typical baby, babe, sweetie, darling and honey.

Or something more sweet such as princess/prince, my love, my dearest.

And there's those really cringey ones such as sugarpie, cupcake, my strawberry cheesecake.

He will literally call you by any dessert name.

"Hey, my kikufuku!" Yup, that's you.

If you're shorter than him you can add shorty, short stuff or munchkin to the list.

When he uses them usually depends on the situation. If he's feeling really affectionate or needy he'll be using the really sweet nicknames.

Sometimes he'll even come up with the most ridiculous ones as much as it embarrasses you.

Usually he'll just call you using the common nicknames. He will only use your real name during serious situations.

He's not shy about proclaiming you as his chocolate cupcake. Not even in front of his students or colleagues.

"Are you referring to (L/N) sensei?" "Bingo!"

You've tried to beg him to stop but the man doesn't listen.

O= Open (How open are they with you? Are they willing to share their secrets and past with you? Do they trust you?)

Gojou despite being a man who loves to talk does not like talking about his private life or his past.

It's very personal information to him and he doesn't want the information to fall into the wrong hands.

If anyone asks about it he'll either ignore the question or answer it very vaguely.

You would have to be someone has spent years by his side to be to attain that level of trust with you.

There are some things in his past that isn't easy to talk about, even though it doesn't bother him now. If you ask he will tell you about it briefly.

If it's information not regarding his secrets or his past, he doesn't sharing those details. If you wanna about his mission or want to check his phone, he will let you. He has nothing to hide except the secret pictures he takes of you.

He in return trusts you as well, but he won't pry into things you don't want to talk about.

If you manage to gain his trust enough for him to reveal personal information about him, don't break it. If you do, you will never be able to gain it back.

P= PDA (Are they into PDA? Do they often do it? Their reaction if you hold their hands or kiss them in public.)

Gojou is into PDA but he doesn't flaunt it as often as you think. He won't be making out with you in the middle of the school hallway but he will press chaste kisses to you.

He's not afraid to hug you or hold your hand around the faculty or students.

He won't do something inappropriate in public he likes to keep that in private. Through sometimes he will because he likes seeing you embarrassed while you desperately ask him to stop. Trying not to gain the attention of the people around you.

He also likes seeing the reactions of other people when he does display affection towards you but mostly he does it to see your cute reactions.

If you initiate hand holding with him, he will definitely hold your hand back tightly. If you kiss him, he'll be surprised but then he's quick to tease you about it.

"Oya, is my cupcake getting bold～?"

If anyone looks at you two with disgust he will yell out "you got a problem?"

He's not shy to show the world he loves you.

Q= Quirk (Do they find your quirks adorable or odd? Do they tell you or not? Do they have a quirk of their own?)

Nothing escapes his keen eyesight. He'll notice and remember a lot of your quirks even the ones you're unconsciously doing.

He thinks its absolutely adorable, like how you furrow your eyebrows in concentration how you pout when you're deep in thought.

All these little quirks make you who you are and he adores them.

Gojou will tell you about them of course, even if you try to deny it. If you don't believe he'll try to take a picture to show you which ends up making you really embarrassed.

"I can't help it, I don't even know that I'm doing that..." you whisper with a blush on your face.

Gojou has a quirk of fiddling with his blindfold or his sunglasses if he's wearing them.

Definitely a fan of putting his hands in his jacket or hands while he stands or walks. He doesn't like the feeling of his hands being empty.

R= Reliable (Are they loyal? How loyal are they? Are they there for you when you need someone?)

Gojou is a very honest and down to earth kind of guy. Of course, loyalty is something he firmly commits to.

Cheating is something he won't resort to at all costs. No woman or man is tempting enough for him to be swayed.

We all know he is a good looking guy, he's bound to attract suitors anywhere but he'll turn them all down. He already has you, why would he need anyone else?

There are times where you might feel insecure or jealous but Gojou will always be there to assure you not to. He'll do his best to comfort you, until you're smiling again.

"You're the only one I need..."

During these times he'll even share his precious sweets with you. He'll feed you cake while hugging you from behind.

Have faith in him because whenever you need him, he'll make sure to be there.

S= Solace (How do they comfort you? Do they immediately notice you being sad?)

Gojou just has sense whenever you're feeling sad, even though you try your hardest to hide it.

He just sees through your facade. He won't ask if you're okay when he clearly knows you'll try to lie about it.

If you're trying to avoid him, he'll either pin you against the wall or pull you into his embrace.

He'll be silent as he takes off his blindfold to stare deep into your eyes, how could you lie when those eyes are looking straight at you.

He won't ask you about what's bothering you but he will always be there to comfort you.

Gojou would pull you into his lap on his expensive chair and cradle you like child as he gently caresses your hair.

Ligerning forehead kisses is also he does to comfort you.

Gojou would also bring his sweets stash and slowly feed you some while he hugs you from behind. If you want food, he'll be glad to cook up your favorite meal.

He knows a lot of cringy and cheesy jokes, in which ends up with him laughing at his own jokes. His laughter is contagious so wouldn't be able to hold back a smile after that.

T= Turn-off (What do they dislike in people? What is their turn-off?)

Gojou hates the old way of thinking he finds in elders especially the elders of his clan and the jujutsu society.

He doesn't like anything anything serious or boring. If you're too uptight, he'll find a way to break that.

Another thing he hates is when people do something behind his back or say something behind his back. If you have something to say, then say it straight it to him.

Routine is another thing he dislikes, he's very spontaneous and looks for the fun in things.

He dislikes vegetables and anything bitter. He's a lover of sweets afterall!

Prying too much into his personal life, as proud as he isーhe doesn't like going around talking much about his private life or his past.

U= Umbrageous (Do they easily get offended by what you said? How will they react when you get hurt by what they said?)

Now if you mean playful gets offended then the answer would be yes. If you're seriously trying to offend him, he won't. He's not the type to take things like that to heart.

Call him an idiot, a narcissist, he will playful hold his chest in pain and whine to you while he pouts.

He'll even tease you back if he feels like it.

"Sorry, did you say something～?"

Even though he doesn't take insults to heart, if you use his past against him, he will take offense to it. His past is something he doesn't want to bring up so if you or anyone brings it up. That changes things.

He tries to keep the optimism but he's only human with emotions so there will be times you could offend him.

If you managed to offend him, he'll be unusually quiet as he dwells on your words.

He won't resort to anger but that doesn't mean he won't at times. That's when he's firing insults back you, blinded by rage. He will regret it afterwards though.

V= Vision (What do they imagine their future? What is their dream? Do they want to spend it with you?)

If Gojou truly loves you, he'll definitely would want to spend the rest of his life with you by his side. Somewhere where he doesn't have to be on guard and would always welcome him with open arms.

Yet at the same time he is afraid of the dangers that come associated with him. If you're a civilian he'll try to distance himself away from you. He's afraid one day when he's not around, someone might come after you. His world is completely different from that of a normal person's afterall.

If you work in the same field as him. He'll definitely be more reluctant to push you away, because he knows you can handle yourself. It lessens his worries.

Still life as a shaman is still as dangerous, you're putting your lives at risk every time you go on a mission. The thought of losing you scares him to the very core.

Despite that he still loves you and if can't be with you he would like to associated with you someway maybe as acquaintances or friends.

He dreams of a world without cursed spirits, where he can live a peaceful life, settle down and start a family with you.

In a world crowded with darkness he dreams of a single ray of solace that is you.

Someone that will stay by his side no matter how difficult it will be.

W= Wacky (What is their reaction in you doing something crazy? Will they join you or stop you?)

Gojou Satoru is a man child, he does the most ridiculous of things like wearing a skirt of a highschool student.

If you're the type of person who's just as energetic and wild as him, it's going to be chaos.

You both will pull pranks on the students and faculty. Poor Ijichi being one of your primary targets.

If you're the type of person who's more on the serious side then he'll be shocked by your suggestion.

But of course he's willing to join in whatever plot you have.

Gojou already gives the higher ups a headache, if you're added to the mix it's going to end up being a massive headache.

He lost count of the amount of times he got scolded by Principal Yaga.

He can come up with the wildest ideas and sometimes you will have to become his break.

Principal Yaga specifically asked you to keep him in check after all.

X= Xtra (Random Headcannon about them)

Gojou Satoru has a driver's license. In fact he even owns several cars.

Of course, they're all the expensive ones because he thinks they look cool.

Does he use them? Not that often, when you literally have the ability to teleport or have Ijichi to drive you around.

As you expect he's a fast driver, you will literally be griping your seatbelt for dear life. It looks like he's gonna crash but he won't. He just likes to scare you.

Of course there's a stash of candy and extra pairs of sunglasses in the glovebox.

Gojou is surprisingly a great cook. You would think being raised with servants he wouldn't know how to cook but he does.

He studies the recipe very carefully and cooks. It's as if he has a natural talent for cooking.

At first, you were pretty skeptical of his cooking but once you had of bite of his dish. You could feel the literal flavors explode on your tongue.

When it's his turn for him to cook, expect him to be wearing a cute apron while blasting music from his speaker.

He'll be singing and dancing in the kitchen.

Hug him from behind while he cooks and he'll melt right then and there. Trying to hide a blush from you.

Y= Yearning (Do they long for you? Will they find themselves missing you while you’re away? If so, how will they cope with it?)

Even though you haven't seen each other for a day he terribly miss you. Your just gives him warm and when you're not there he feels cold.

He goes on missions very often and they can last days or even weeks depending on the case. He'll try to update you as much as he can on when he could come home.

Even when he's in the middle of fighting cursed spirits, he'll find his mind wondering towards you.

If he's away from you, you'll be getting calls and texts from him quite frequently. He'll make sure to always greet you good morning or good night and ask how you are.

He'll always ask if you've eaten or not and asks you to send a picture of your meal to prove it to him. He needs to know you're being well fed.

If you think he talks too much he texts just as much. He'll even take random selfies of himself or something interesting he wants you to see.

If you send him a selfie or video he'll save that so fast and save that to his folder. So he can look through them whenever he misses you.

If it's a long mission, he might pack one of your shirts which has your scent so he could take a whiff to calm himself or cuddle as he sleeps.

After a mission if he's not tired yet, he'll video call you every now and then.

He'll try to come back as fast as possible because he doesn't feel complete without your presence.

Z= Zzz (Do they fall asleep easily? Do they move around while sleeping? What sleeping position do they like best?)

If we are talking about the past Gojou, maybe around his youth then no. He had difficulty sleeping because sleeping meant he's vulnerable to attacks.

This is why relies mostly on sweets to stimulate his brain because there are days where he can't sleep at all. His powers drain a lot of energy to keep up.

Once he could run Infinity automatically, he doesn't have any trouble sleeping at all. In fact, he passes out instantly once his head hits the pillow.

The man works hard and goes on tons of missions so of course he's bound to be tired when he gets home.

Gojou Satoru is 190 cm tall so of course he has a large king sized bed at home. He likes having a lot of space but he tends to move around a lot unconsciously.

There have been times where he has fallen off the bed as well.

If you're sleeping with him and want to prevent him from taking all the bed space, you both cuddle that way his limbs are locked on you.

His likes to sleep laying on his back while you lay on your chest or embracing you from behind as you both sleep on your sides.

It's very rare from him to snore but that doesn't mean he doesn't and when he does, it's loud.

However sleeping with him has it's benefits, if you wake up before him you'll be graced by the most angelic view. As he breathes softy while his long white eye lashes remain closed.

If he does wake up you will also be graced by his morning voice which is divine.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojou satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen gojo #sfw alphabet gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk imagines #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #500 followers event #skipps writes

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sagefzy · 3 years

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PART FOUR: POPCORN AND GREEN TEA

perfectionism | prev | next

You tapped your foot on the pavement, anxious to finally meet the eyes of your old friend. The feeling of excitement was almost overwhelming all your senses, the only thing you could focus on was the plain, faded brown door in front of you. Quickly, you sent Suna a text to let him know of your arrival, however in the corner of your eye, you suddenly noticed two figures approaching. You shrugged it off, thinking that it was just two guys passing by on a walk, but rather than walking past the house, they stepped up the driveway slowly drawing near you.

Hearing Ennoshita's words in your mind about being aware of your surroundings, you discreetly glanced back observing the two. But, much to your surprise, it was the exact two guys who bombarded you at the supermarket yesterday. Well, actually, more like the one blond who smashed a shopping cart into your heel, blubbering apologies and looking away, while the other one stood there and watched the whole incident play out.

You watched them for what seemed like forever. Could they possibly be Suna's friends? No, the whole thing seemed too coincidental, surely that couldn't be the case. Not willing to take the chance, you took out your phone once more in hopes to get Suna to clarify that those were, indeed, not his friends. Unfortunately for you, it appeared that the universe had decided to make you a pawn in its game because the two of them were, indeed, his friends.

You let out a heavy sigh, you could already tell that the next few hours would be nothing but awkward stares and embarrassing conversations. Not wanting to ruin your one day of freedom- the one day where you didn't have to listen to your dad's constant yells, telling you how much of a disappointment you are- the one day where you didn't have to sit in front of the piano all day just to feel some sort of gratification. It was then that you decided to just ignore the situation, and pretend as if the blond wasn't the reason that the back of your foot was wrapped in a bandage. For all Suna knew, this was you guys' first encounter, so be it.

Right as the door opened, your eyes were drawn to the tall green-eyed boy who you used to spend every day with as a young kid. "Y/N, so glad you're here!" Suna smiled, as he went in for a quick hug. "Those two behind you are Atsumu and Osamu." He introduced, pointing to the two that were now directly behind you. The blond looked absolutely horrified, stealing brief glimpses at the bandage that hugged your heel, the other one, however, stared back with a nonchalant smile. "They may have almost the same face, but the one with the ugly piss-colored hair is Atsumu, and the normal looking one is Osamu."

You grinned back at the two, showcasing your brightest smile, hoping that they'd get the message to not bring up the fact that this was not your first encounter. You were going to introduce yourself to the two, but the blond seemed to beat you to cut. "How come Samu is the normal one?" He whined.

Suna snickered, "Because Osamu doesn't act like a dramatic brat who needs his hand held every damn second of the day."

Suna's blunt words made you softly chuckle, there was something in friendly banter that just made it so pure and innocent. You looked up at the two, noticing that the blond's expression had softened after hearing your giggles. With the brief moment of silence at hand, you decided to take this as the moment to introduce yourself. "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet you Atsumu and Osamu."

"Well now that we got introductions out of the way, why don't we go inside and find something to do," Suna suggested.

"Rinny, can we watch a movie?" You asked excitedly. The last time you had watched a movie was when you hung out with Nishinoya, Tanaka, and Ennoshita before leaving Miyagi, and your dad hardly ever let you engage in anything other than school work or piano, making it a rare treasure.

Suna nodded, "Watching a movie it is."

As all of you entered the house, you couldn't help but hear the blond, Atsumu mutter to his brother, "If I called 'm Rinny I think he'd punch me on the spot."

A smile quickly reappeared on your face as you heard his brother respond, "I don't know, I'll give ya one thousand yen to put it to the test."

"No, I think I'll choose life," He giggled.

You found your way to the couch and swiftly pulled out your phone, eager to let your friends know your current situation. The whole scene sounded like something straight out of a book.

You clicked your phone off and turned your attention to the aroma that seemed to be emerging from the kitchen. The familiar scent, caramel popcorn and green tea, jogged an almost forgotten memory of your childhood. An unlikely duo, yet even as a child you couldn't get enough of the weird combination. No one would've ever thought to put the two together, but it just worked.

You almost laughed at the sight. Suna walked out of the kitchen juggling three bowls of caramel popcorn, three bottles of energy drinks, and, of course, your mug of green tea. Since he had such little grace, you got up and lent a helping hand. "No, no you're my guest and you're injured go sit back down," Suna scolded.

"Well it's too late, I'm already here, so I'll just take some of that off your hand," You said while grabbing the mug of tea and the three energy drinks. You walked over to the twins and handed them each their bottle.

"Say what happened to yer foot over there?" Osamu asked with a smirk on his face.

"Oh yeah you never told me what you did to your foot, Y/N," Suna added as he placed the remaining bowls on the side table.

"It's not a big deal I just scraped myself with glass while unpacking," You blurted. You hoped that the lie was convincing enough, but to be honest, scraping yourself with glass sounded way more believable than being run over with a shopping cart.

"I see, sorry to hear that," Osamu responded in an almost surprise-like manner. You thought that maybe he expected you to call out his brother, however you decided to stick with your initial decision of ignoring the situation to save your night from awkwardness. His expression only got more surprised as he realized the unusual food combination you were eating. For only eating caramel popcorn with green tea, he looked as if you were committing a crime against food.

"Green tea with caramel popcorn?" He asked.

With no shame you nodded your head. "Don't knock it until you try it, it's my favorite combo in the world. I can never get enough of it."

Suna sighed, "Yeah, it's no use to convince her otherwise it's been more than a solid seven years since i last saw her and she still likes it."

The night ended almost as quickly as it started. Although you were initially worried about it being awkward, your worries were soon rested once Osamu started explaining his love of cooking. You both talked endlessly about all sorts of sweets and savory foods you both enjoyed indulging in. However, his twin, on the other hand, barely talked as he aimlessly played around with his phone.

Your eyes noticed the time on the nearby clock, the numbers displaying that it was near midnight. Your stomach instantly knotted, if your dad wasn't asleep, you for sure were going to get an ear full when you arrived home. You picked up your phone, and smiled at Suna and Osamu who's chest softly rose up and down as they slept.

You stood up quietly, getting Atsumu's attention. You didn't expect him to do or say anything since he'd been quite dull the entire night, but it seemed like this was a night of surprises. "Yer not planning to go all the way to the bus stop by yerself now are ya?" He asked.

"Well I'm not waking either of them so they can escort me if that's what you're asking," you responded "But, you're more than welcome to join me if it'll put your mind at ease." You fully expected him to not care, however he grabbed his jacket next to him and stood up, walking over to where you stood by the front door.

He quietly opened the door, careful to not make a creaking noise. "After you," He said as he directed you out of the house. The crisp winter air hit your face, your whole body jolted from the sudden change of temperatures. "Don't suppose yer cold now?" He asked, probably noticing your shivering. You replied by shaking your head and continued on the trail to the bus stop.

The rest of the walk was mostly silent, neither one of you knowing what to say. This was definitely uncharacteristically of Atsumu, anyone who'd even slightly know him would expect him to be chatting your ear off with overdramatized commentary. However, things seemed to be different in this situation, there was an eerie feeling about you that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Of course, it didn't help that your first encounter with him was him, in fact, running a shopping cart into you, but it wasn't just that. Maybe it was the way you presented yourself, in an almost sickening sweet-like manner. It all felt artificial, like a facade.

"Well this is it," you said, snapping him out of his thoughts, "Just in time for the last bus, thanks for walking with me." You turned around to enter the vehicle but before you could, a hand made its way to your arm. You immediately flinched at the contact, pulling away at the light hold he had on you.

"I'm sorry I just- i um," He started, trying to find a way to word what he wanted to say. "I wanted to say that 'm sorry for yesterday, it was kind of a shitty thing to do, and 'm also sorry for not really talking all that much today, ya seem really nice and I'm usually not this bad when it comes to meeting new people. And, I totally ruined the night by ignoring you I-"

You lightly laughed, "It's alright, plus any friend of Rin's, is a friend of mine, and you didn't ruin tonight at all, I thought it was perfect." You both smiled back at each other, not saying anything for a moment. You cleared your throat, "Um, I'll see you around, have a good night, Atsumu."

He watched as you entered the bus. A small smile made it on his face as he watched you wave goodbye from the bus window. He waved back and muttered under his breath, "Good night, Y/N."

The bus ride was only about ten minutes. Anxiously, you opened the door to your house, hoping that by some miracle your dad would be sound asleep. The old door slightly creaked, you peaked inside and all your worries flushed away as you saw your dad passed out on the couch. Granted he was passed out drunk, at least that's what you gathered by the four bottles of empty beer that laid at his feet.

Even for you, life wasn't as perfect as it seemed. As much as you wanted it to be, as much as you led people on to think that it was, it just wasn't. The worst part of it was that deep down, you felt accountable for it all. Maybe if you would've been just a little better at piano, you could've achieved your perfect life.

You reached your bedroom and exhaustedly plopped down on your bed. You glanced at the picture of your mother on your bedside table. Her long hair glided down her lavender dress, her face gleaming with a smile. In one hand she held her violin and the other held an award deeming her the best violinist in the nation. She was talented, beautiful, intelligent, and made your dad happy. She was absolutely everything you weren't, and your dad made sure to remind you everyday.

Life before she died was perfect. You could never recall a memory of you being sad around her. Before you closed your eyes, you whispered, "I wish I was perfect like you."

fun facts !

Whenever Atsumu doesn't know how to address a situation, he just goes on his phone and plays angry birds.

If you're ever bored, Osamu will talk forever about all the different ways you can cook the same recipe.

Suna can never stay awake during a movie night, he always falls asleep somehow.

Before getting into volleyball, the twins' mother tried to get them into violin, however that quickly failed once Atsumu broke his bow on the second day of lessons.

perfectionism ©

smau written by @sagefzy

tagist: open just send an ask :)

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sagewritesmore · 3 years

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PART FOUR: POPCORN AND GREEN TEA

perfectionism | prev | next

wc: 2108

Suna snickered, "Because Osamu doesn't act like a dramatic brat who needs his hand held every damn second of the day."

"Well now that we got introductions out of the way, why don't we go inside and find something to do," Suna suggested.

Suna nodded, "Watching a movie it is."

As all of you entered the house, you couldn't help but hear the blond, Atsumu mutter to his brother, "If I called 'm Rinny I think he'd punch me on the spot."

A smile quickly reappeared on your face as you heard his brother respond, "I don't know, I'll give ya one thousand yen to put it to the test."

"No, I think I'll choose life," He giggled.

You found your way to the couch and swiftly pulled out your phone, eager to let your friends know your current situation. The whole scene sounded like something straight out of a book.

"Say what happened to yer foot over there?" Osamu asked with a smirk on his face.

"Oh yeah you never told me what you did to your foot, Y/N," Suna added as he placed the remaining bowls on the side table.

"Green tea with caramel popcorn?" He asked.

With no shame you nodded your head. "Don't knock it until you try it, it's my favorite combo in the world. I can never get enough of it."

Suna sighed, "Yeah, it's no use to convince her otherwise it's been more than a solid seven years since i last saw her and she still likes it."

He watched as you entered the bus. A small smile made it on his face as he watched you wave goodbye from the bus window. He waved back and muttered under his breath, "Good night, Y/N."

Life before she died was perfect. You could never recall a memory of you being sad around her. Before you closed your eyes, you whispered, "I wish I was perfect like you."

fun facts !

Whenever Atsumu doesn't know how to address a situation, he just goes on his phone and plays angry birds.

If you're ever bored, Osamu will talk forever about all the different ways you can cook the same recipe.

Suna can never stay awake during a movie night, he always falls asleep somehow.

Before getting into volleyball, the twins' mother tried to get them into violin, however that quickly failed once Atsumu broke his bow on the second day of lessons.

perfectionism ©

smau written by @sagefzy

taglist: open just send an ask :)

@shephard17895 @art-junkie-13 @vhsryuu @qualitygiantshoepsychic @everytimeswift @kritiiiii

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amindofstone · 3 years

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Match up, No. 9

@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:

Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^

I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.

The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️

While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.

I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.

As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊

I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞

I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)

As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)

As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes

Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔

P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group

a/n:

Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.

I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!

Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!

Match up rules can be found HERE.

Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!

· I decided to pair you up with KILLER

· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3

· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3

· aNyWaYssssS.

· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”

· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!

· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.

· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.

· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.

· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.

· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.

· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.

· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again

· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.

· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.

· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.

· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.

· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.

· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.

· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”

· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”

· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.

· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.

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eddsworldshippinghell · 3 years

Text

Forgive and Forget Ch8 - END

[Ch1][Ch2][Ch3][Ch4][Ch5][Ch6][Ch7] [Peru Fic] [AO3]

Here we finally are! Thank you so much to everyone that stuck with me through this whole process! I hope this ending is satisfying!

~~~

Fingers in his hair rouse Tord from sleep. He isn’t quite ready to wake up and instead burrows deeper into the welcoming warmth at his side, unsure which of his boyfriends it is. He hears a soft giggle, and a kiss is pressed to the top of his head.

Ah. Matt.

“Good morning.” Matt murmurs, and despite his best efforts to pretend he’s asleep, a smile tugs at Tord’s lips.

“Good morning beautiful.”

He doesn’t need to look to know Matt’s cheeks are pink.

“Edd is making breakfast.” Matt tells him, fingers never stilling their soft combing through his messy hair. “Tom is fetching coffee and donuts from that place you like downtown.”

“Mmm.” He hums, wiggling closer still. He finally peeks an eye open, heart thumping erratically at Matt’s soft smile.

“Shall we?”

He answers by leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When their lips part he flips onto his back to stretch before he wiggles out of the bed. Matt’s fingers brush his cheek before the redhead leaves their room, heading for the bathroom.

Tord fumbles on the ground and winds up with one of Tom’s sweaters, and as he yanks it on steps into two random slippers - winding up with one purple and one cola print.

As he nears the kitchen the now familiar flare of anxiety makes his heart rate stutter, but now that he’s used to it he pushes through and steps into the kitchen. The smell of bacon fills his head and helps ease the anxiety- the sight of Edd humming at the stove finishes the process.

Content, he crosses the kitchen and slides his arms around Edd’s middle, pushing his face into the back of his shoulder and humming happily.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning baby.” Edd beams, leaning back ever so slightly into Tord’s embrace.

The Norwegian inhales deeply, the warm and familiar scent of Edd doing much to soothe the anxiety that forever lives in the back of his mind. Life is fragile -he’s always known that, he’s taken hundreds- and after what Stephan had done he isn’t sure that anxiety will ever leave him.

Anxiety that something will happen to one of his boyfriends. Anxiety that this is all a dream, that he’s still screaming until his throat is raw in their bed and his mind is playing cruel tricks on him.

He inhales again and it helps him push that little voice to the back of his mind.

“Well good morning gorgeous.” Tom’s voice pulls him the rest of the way out of his potential spiral and Tord giggles as arms wind around his back.

The noise turns into a half shriek as Tom shoves his cold hands up the front of Tord’s sweater.

“Tom!”

Tom laughs delightedly, pulling him closer.

“Ah, sweet payback.” He chuckles, tilting his head so he can press soft kisses across Tord’s cheek.

He doesn’t know how, but Tom always seems to know when his mind is taking things in an unsavoury direction. Since he’d started seeing Veronica twice a week it was gradually becoming easier to halt those trains of thought himself- but his boyfriends helped tons as well.

He probably would’ve had to have himself committed if it wasn’t for them.

“What time is your appointment today?” Edd asks softly, stepping away from the stove to wind his arms around Tord, leaving the Norwegian sandwiched between him and Tom.

Tord relaxes happily into it, heart warming.

“One.”

“Perfect, I’ll drop you off after breakfast.” Edd offers. Before Tord can reply, Matt enters the room.

“What time is your appointment?” He asks, and Tord blinks.

“One.” He says again.

“I’ll drive you, Susan just called me and had to move mine to today, it’s at one thirty.”

“Okay.” Tord agrees.

Matt joins the hug eagerly, squeezing them all and pressing quick kisses to each of their cheeks before releasing them. Once he does, Edd scurries back to the stove so the eggs don’t burn.

~~~~~~~~

“Good morning!” Veronica greets as Tord steps in, a warm smile on her face. He smiles back as he takes a seat on her couch. “How are we feeling today?”

“Good.” He replies honestly. “We had breakfast this morning.”

“That sounds wonderful. Any anxiety?” She asks softly, knowing very well about his kitchen door issues.

“Yeah.” He admits. “It was easier to push through today, though.”

He thinks he sees something akin to pride in her eyes and the upward twitch of her lips.

~~~~~~~

“How did your visit with Alicia go?” Tord asks as he hears the front door open, head turning toward the noise despite the fact that he has no hope of seeing the door from his position sprawled upside down on the sofa.

“Great.” Edd responds blandly, and silence swallows them until his head peeks down from between Tord’s legs where they’re hanging over the back of the couch. He beams down at his boyfriend. “I missed you.”

Tord grins, hands reaching up to cup Edd’s cheeks.

“I missed you too.”

Edd leans down, fully intending to kiss Tord silly, only to withdraw with a shriek when cold hands are shoved up the back of his sweater. Tord howls with laughter as Edd writhes away from Matt, sputtering protests as Tom cackles by the door.

“Did you just have your hands in a bloody snowbank?!” Edd squawks, stumbling and falling into the armchair. Matt laughs delightedly.

“Yes.” He grins. “Eduardo and Mark are building a snowman outside.”

“Eduardo wants to talk to Tord.” Tom says after a moment, and the colour leaves Tord’s face.

It’s been nearly six months since he’d found himself on Eduardo’s doorstep. Eduardo had been genuine in his forgiveness- he hadn’t made a single negative remark toward Tord since. Not even a dirty look. On the flip side, he didn’t do anything positive either, aside from the occasional wave.

“Did he say why?” Tord asks weakly.

Veronica was helping a lot -especially in terms of the Jon guilt, despite the fact that he couldn’t fully explain that situation- but he knows it’ll take longer than six months to stop feeling that familiar burning flare of anxiety when Eduardo is mentioned. Edd’s expression is guarded as he watches Tom for an answer. Tom shakes his head.

“No, but he promised it was civil.”

“You don’t have to go talk to him.” Matt says immediately, and Tord sighs heavily.

Deep down, he knows he doesn’t have to. He could refuse and Tom would go tell Eduardo that he wasn’t coming, and they’d move on. But he feels like he owes him this; Eduardo had listened when Tord turned up on his doorstep, the least he could do is return the favour and hear whatever he has to say- even if it’s to take back his forgiveness.

“I know. But I think I should.”

“Okay.” Edd agrees, holding out a hand to help him up.

Once he’s on his feet Tom shucks his jacket and holds it out in offering. Tord grins, accepting the warm jacket and burrowing into it. He steps into his sneakers and steals Matt’s gloves and Edd’s hat from the bench seat by the door before stepping out into the cold. Tom murmurs a soft assurance before he closes the door.

Eduardo is waiting by the fence, and surprise flits across his face when he spots Tord. Anxiety leaving a nasty taste in the back of his throat, he swiftly crosses the yard, shoving his hands in his pockets in an extra attempt at warmth. Snow is falling quickly, no doubt due to the storm they’d been warned of on the news this morning. As if sharing the thought, Eduardo’s gaze flicks upwards.

“Hey.” Tord says awkwardly, and Eduardo nods once.

“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you’d come.”

“I figure I owe you that much. You heard me out when I said my piece, the least I can do is return the favour.” He explains. Eduardo nods again.

Silence swallows them for a moment as the snow falls and Eduardo studies his face, dark green thoroughly studying the lines in the Norwegian’s face. Tord’s gaze flicks to the side and his lips twitch upward ever so slightly when he catches sight of Mark in the window, determinedly pretending he isn’t watching. A full smile breaks out when Mark realizes he’s been caught and ducks behind the curtains.

“He’s watching?” Eduardo guesses, and Tord nods. “So are yours.”

Tord isn’t sure how to respond to that. He isn’t sure if it would be appropriate to look away and break whatever atmosphere has surrounded the two of them, so he doesn’t move. His hands shake slightly in his pockets, and he determinedly tells himself that it’s because of the cold and not because he’s scared of Eduardo.

“I…” Tord starts, but he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know where to begin. After a moment of hesitation his mouth shuts and he sighs softly. That seems to be enough to prompt Eduardo into speaking.

“I meant it when I said I forgive you.” He says slowly, and Tord awkwardly nods once. “At least… I thought I did. I do.” He pauses, huffing an aggravated sigh, and Tord shifts uncomfortably.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, and Eduardo nods once.

“I’ve been seeing someone. A therapist. He’s helped me work through… everything.” Eduardo admits, shoving his hands roughly into his pockets. “I meant what I said when I told you I forgave you, but he also helped me understand that I wasn’t in the right state of mind to mean that as much as I wanted to.

I forgave you because it was the right thing to do. I forgave you because I could see the guilt plain on your face like it was written in black marker. I forgave you because I didn’t want you to die guilty. I meant it.”

Understanding flashes across Tord’s face, and his posture instantly relaxes. Now that he knows why Eduardo had asked to speak to him his anxiety eases away, hands stilling in his pockets.

“I understand.”

“I’m in a better place now. I’m a lot better. There’s still a long way to go.” Eduardo’s gaze turns skyward once more, and Tord finds himself following the motion so they’re both gazing up into the dark clouds, snowflakes falling quickly across their faces.

“I know what you mean.” Tord says after a moment, and the first smile Tord has ever seen on Eduardo’s face tugs at his lips. It’s small, but it’s definitely there. It feels like a load off of Tord’s shoulders.

“I know.” Eduardo’s gaze returns to Tord’s face, and Tord follows the movement once more. “I’ve heard you guys talking about therapy.”

“It helps.” He says lamely, and Eduardo snorts softly. Tord knows he’d understood what he meant.

“It does.” He agrees. “Look, Tord, I just wanted to tell you I forgive you. Sincerely. I forgive you. Edd was right when we fought, I didn’t know anything about you- and I still don’t. You’ve been through some fucked up shit, that ordeal with that Stephan guy painted a clear enough picture.”

At the mention of Stephan Tord’s stomach lurches unpleasantly, but he bites on his tongue to keep from speaking.

“I understand that it was an accident. We both forgive you.”

Tord takes a deep, steadying breath. Unintended, a smile pulls at his lips.

“Thank you.” His voice is barely a whisper, and Eduardo nods slightly. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness-” Eduardo interrupts, voice firm, before he can continue that train of thought.

“Yes you do.”

And Tord stops. Unbidden, Veronica’s voice passes through his mind.

You have to let yourself be forgiven. You have to believe you deserve to be forgiven.

Taking another deep breath he nods once.

“Okay. Okay, you’re right. Thank you for forgiving me.”

The smile returns to Eduardo’s face, this time a little bigger.

“You’re welcome.”

“Don’t forget the cookies!” Mark’s voice hollers from the doorway, and both turn just in time for the door to slam shut. Huffing a soft laugh, Eduardo rolls his eyes. He stoops, grabbing a plastic bag with a tupperware container inside it from the snow.

“Mark has been on a baking rampage this year.” He says, holding out the bag to Tord. “We wanted to share the riches. I thought it might mean more if I gave them to you instead of the others.”

Tord takes it, peeking inside to see an array of cookies through the clear lid of the container. His smile widens, almost hurting his cheeks.

“Thank you.” He says again, and Eduardo reaches over the fence to lightly squeeze Tord’s shoulder.

“Enjoy. I’m going to head back inside.” Is all he says.

Tord watches in stunned silence as Eduardo treks back toward his front door. The man glances back as he opens the door, and the two lock gazes for a moment. He nods once, and disappears through the door.

On autopilot Tord turns and makes his way back across the lawn, his original tracks through the snow completely gone, covered by fresh snow while he’d spoken to their neighbour. The door is pulled open by Tom before Tord can even reach for the handle.

“What did he want?” Matt asks before Tom can do more than open his mouth.

Still slightly bewildered from the unexpected exchange Tord lifts his arm, and all three of his boyfriends look to the bag.

“He gave us cookies.” He says. “And forgave me.”

A collective sigh of relief sweeps through the room, and Tom pulls the Norwegian into his arms as he flicks the door shut. Tord melts into the embrace, tears burning his eyes. Edd joins them, easing the bag from stiff fingers to set it on the bench by the door before joining the hug, and Matt is mere moments behind.

~~~~~~~~

“Over here!” Patryk’s voice calls as Tord steps into the cafe, and he smiles widely at the sight of his friends. All too familiar relief floods his veins as they beam at him, happy and safe from harm.

“We ordered you a coffee.” Paul says as Tord slides into the booth across from them, and Tord takes a moment to bask in their presence as he murmurs a thanks.

He really doesn’t know where he’d be without them- and even a year after killing Stephan he doesn’t think that feeling will ever leave him. Without the two men in front of him he doubts he would still be alive- and he doubts the same for his boyfriends. Somehow amidst all the bullshit he’d put them through -all the bullshit they’d been through together in the Red Army- he’d found two of the most loyal men on this earth.

And somehow they’d been loyal to him, even in the moments where he hadn’t deserved it. Even when they’d almost been killed in Hawaii- even when they’d all nearly frozen and starved to death hiding in the Peruvian mountains they’d never wavered. They’d never left his side.

And even though things are different now, he knows they never will.

“I’m sorry I missed last week.” He eventually says, referring to their weekly sunday brunch at this diner. “The damn car broke down Saturday night, and Tom needed it to see Mabel on Sunday.”

“Sunday?” Paul asks, arching a brow. “I thought it’s usually Fridays.”

“It is, she had a family emergency and had to cancel, but she didn’t want to miss a session so she rescheduled to Sunday.” Tord explains.

“Welcome back, boys.” Their usual waitress Eileen greets with a wide smile as she approaches the table, their drinks on a tray balanced on her left hand. “We missed you last week. Are we getting the usual again?”

“Yes please.” Tord replies as she sets their coffees down in front of them, leaving a fresh pot next to it. She quickly writes their orders on her notepad.

“Won’t be long.” She promises.

Once she’s gone, Tord turns back to his friends. Slightly uneasy his left hand lifts to play with the fingers of his right, and he doesn’t miss the way his boys follow the movement with their eyes. Neither dares to say a word after last time they’d mentioned his arm. After a tense moment he sighs.

“I’m going to tell the boys about my arm. And my… my face.”

“That’s great, Tord.” Patryk says earnestly, reaching his hand across the table to lightly cover Tord’s. Paul mimics the action.

“We’re proud of you.” He says, and Tord relaxes significantly, slumping back into the cushions of the booth.

“It seems almost stupid that I’ve waited so long.” Tord admits, and both shake their heads quickly, protesting in his defence. He chuckles softly. “Poor phrasing. It seems silly.” He amends.

“They won’t care.” Paul assures him, and Tord nods slowly. Paul shares a quick glance with Patryk. “We wouldn’t either, if you wish to take that rubbish off.”

Tord hesitates. He’s spent so long now with half of his face and one of his arms hidden behind faux skin- he isn’t sure if he can go back. His right hand lifts almost absently, fingers trailing slowly down his cheek.

“I almost… forget what I really look like.” Tord admits slowly. “How cold my hand really is.”

At that Patryk laughs softly.

“You’re a genius, I don’t think there’s anything you couldn’t do if you set your mind to it.” He says, and Tord cracks a small smile. “I’m not surprised they haven’t noticed; if I hadn’t helped Paul pull you out of the wreckage and seen the damage with my own eyes I would never in a million years guess that something had happened to you.”

“That my arm isn’t… human?” Tord mutters, lifting his right hand and flexing his fingers. He knows it isn’t real flesh, but it looks and moves just the same as his left hand.

“If you don’t want to tell them you don’t have to.” Paul says, a complete contrast to his words the last time they’d spoken of his arm and face.

“Since the time of secrets has passed," Paul begins. "Do they know yet?" He asks, gently tapping his index finger on Tord's right arm where it lies on the table, and Tord yanks it back defensively.

"No. It's a fine lie, they don't need to know."

"Lie?"

Tord back pedals.

"Omission of truth!" He hisses, holding the arm tighter.

The two men share a glance.

"So they don't know about your face either?" Patryk asks gently, and Tord scowls.

"There's nothing wrong with my face!" He growls, and the two share another look.

They shrug slightly, recognizing that he's all but commanding them to back down, and they nod their heads.

"If you say so, sir."

Tord considers for a moment. Silence swallows them as Eileen returns, setting their plates in front of them with a cheery grin before she leaves to tend to her other tables. Paul and Patryk wait patiently as Tord debates his options, quietly digging into their tater tots.

“No.” Tord eventually says, dropping his arm to grab his fork and spear a sausage. “I likely won’t remove the disguise for good, but I at least want to tell them. I know every part of each of them, it’s only fair they can say the same.”

Paul and Patryk try not to show it, but Tord sees the flash of pride in their eyes and it further cements his decision.

~~~~~~~~~

He thought it would take him a few days to find the words, but the opportunity greets him as soon as he gets home. His boyfriends are all in the living room, sprawled across the sofa and armchair while Insane Zombie Pirates from Hell 9 plays on the tv.

“Hey babe, how was brunch?” Tom asks as Tord leans down for a kiss. Tord smiles against the other man's lips.

“Great.” He says honestly. “I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something.”

Matt immediately pauses the movie and all eyes are on him. In spite of himself, his face heats up.

“What’s up?” Edd asks.

“Is everything okay?” Matt pipes up, and Tord quickly nods.

“Everything is fine.” He takes a few steps forward so he’s in the middle of the room and takes a seat on the floor.

Three sets of curious eyes follow him as he crosses his legs. Slowly he lifts the hem of his hoodie -black and white checker print that he’d swiped from Tom’s closet before heading out this morning- and he sets it aside. His tee shirt is quick to follow, dropping to the floor atop the hoodie.

“Um… Tord?” Tom asks slowly.

The Norwegian clears his throat and takes a deep breath.

“I have something I’d like to tell you all. It’s nothing huge, I just… haven’t been entirely honest with any of you.”

Edd is the first to slide to the floor to sit in front of Tord, crossing his own legs. Slowly Tom and Matt follow his example, leaving them all seated in a loose circle.

“You’re freaking me out a little.” Edd admits, and Tord shakes his head quickly.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise.” He assures them all, and the stiff set of their shoulders eases slightly as all three exhale a soft breath. “I’m just a little anxious.”

“You can tell us anything.” Matt says softly. Tord smiles.

“I know.”

He takes a deep breath, allowing himself a moment to hype himself up for this. He decides before he reveals his secret he should explain a little bit so they aren’t confused- so they don’t think something has happened since Stephan.

“After the incident with the robot… when it blew up… I was injured.”

Guilt flickers across Tom’s face but he quickly pushes it away; he knows he was forgiven a long time ago. Beating himself up over it only hurts himself and his boyfriends.

“I would assume so.” Matt says slowly, clearly confused. “You were in an explosion.”

As if realizing the issue with what he’d said his gaze rakes quickly over Tord. In his peripheral Tord see’s Edd’s gaze following the same path as Matt’s.

“Injured how?” Tom asks.

“My face was-” His voice falters slightly, right hand lifting so his fingers can just barely touch what he knows is scar tissue. He swallows. “This part of my face is- is scar tissue.” He forces out, fingertips tracing an area he’s long since memorized.

He can see the confusion clear on their faces.

“But…” Edd says softly. He doesn’t continue, head tilting slightly to the side.

“My arm…” Tord makes himself continue, moving his hand from his face to hold it out between them. “It’s not human.”

“I don’t follow.” Tom admits.

“I’m a good inventor.” Tord hedges. At the look of confusion on their faces, Tord takes a steadying breath. “I didn’t want any of you to see me like that- I hated looking in the mirror. Hated seeing what I was, what I’d done to myself- the evidence of what I’d done to the three of you. So I covered it up. I… Invented what is essentially a false skin to cover up my- my flaws.”

Slowly Tom reaches out, and when he grasps Tord’s right hand he lets him. Slow fingers trail up his arm to his shoulder and then back down.

“It feels real.” Tom finally says, and Tord nods.

“It’s supposed to.” He agrees. He flexes his fingers. “I can still feel everything.” Tord answers their unspoken question. “What lies beneath might as well be human.”

“Can we see?” Edd is the one to ask, and Tord isn’t surprised.

“Yes.”

Slowly he reaches up with his left hand, fingertips tracing the skin of his shoulder to find the seam that he knows from memory is there. His fingers dig in and he pulls. All three of his boyfriends watch in shock as a thin layer that looks unquestionably like skin is peeled down, revealing red and grey metal.

He lets the false skin fall to the floor, and flexes his fingers once more. The skin of his shoulder is marred by scars where skin meets metal, the skin forever an ugly red. His arm is sleek and smooth, an improved version of the original arm he’d taken from the robot to attach as a temporary solution.

Where it meets skin the metal is a deep red, the band stretching only an inch or so away from skin before the arm turns a deep, steel grey. Plates of metal shift minutely as he moves his arm, all flexing together in a near perfect approximation of the human arm. There’s another red ring at the base of his wrist about an inch wide, and the palm of his hand is the same red colour. His fingers match the steel grey of his arm.

This time Matt is the first to move, hands lifting and question clear on his face. Tord nods in encouragement, moving his hand toward the redhead, and Matt’s hands are gentle when he grasps it.

“I expected it to be cold.” He admits as he draws it closer, fingers sliding slowly up Tord’s palm to his wrist, and Tord shakes his head.

“It’s designed to match my body temperature.”

“It’s kind of incredible, Tord.” Tom says, and Edd nods earnestly.

“You’re incredible.”

Tord’s breath catches in his chest even as a smile pulls at his lips. Edd gently claims Tord’s hand from Matt, tracing his own patterns across the metal, green eyes sparkling in fascination. Tom is last to take it, and he presses a soft kiss to the Norwegian’s palm.

“Don’t ever feel like you have to hide this from us.” Tom says, and Tord’s smile widens.

“Okay.”

“Can we see your face?” Edd asks gently, and Tord swallows his nerves to nod once.

“Of course.”

He lifts his right hand this time, trembling with nerves as his fingers slide along his jaw, hooking just barely behind his ear. He pushes and prods until the seam comes loose, and with a deep breath he pulls it off. It falls to the carpet next to the skin from his arm.

He squeezes his eyes shut as it falls, scared to see their reactions- he knows they’ll love him no matter what, but he can’t overcome the small voice in his head telling him they’ll be disgusted by the scars painting the side of his face. He takes a deep, trembling breath, and almost jumps out of his skin when soft hands meet his face.

His eyes open on sheer instinct, locking instantly with bright green hardly an inch from his own. He swallows, and Edd smiles so beautifully Tord briefly loses his breath.

“You’re beautiful.” He says earnestly, and tears burn Tord’s eyes. A smile pulls at his lips and he swallows thickly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Come two voices from opposite sides. Edd huffs a breathless laugh and lunges forward to slot their lips together.

A soft whimper escapes Tord as Edd’s thumb gently traces the largest of his scars, spanning from the edge of his jaw to the corner of his eye. He presses back into the kiss without hesitation, hands lifting to cover Edd’s.

“Quit hogging him.” Matt protests, and both men laugh into the kiss, breaking it for their foreheads to meet. Green eyes regard him with unabashed affection, and he swoops down to kiss him once more before he sits back, allowing Matt to grab him.

Matt draws him over, forcing Tord onto his knees in front of him, and Matt rises to the same position. His fingers are gentle as they trace his scars, and the affectionate smile never leaves his lips. Love is clear in his eyes, and Tord sags slightly into him. Gently Matt turns his head, leaning in to kiss every single scar, smiling against his skin even as tears overflow and slip easily down his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Matt murmurs into his skin, and Tord nods earnestly.

“So okay.”

Matt smiles wider and leans up, making sure to meet Tord’s gaze.

“You’re perfect.”

Tord’s breath catches again. Before he can reply Matt is capturing his lips in a gentle kiss, and Tord is practically falling into him. A strong arm wraps around his waist to keep him upright while Matt’s other hand remains gently upon his cheek.

When they pull back he smiles once more, and then Tom’s arms are winding tightly around him from behind. Tord laughs softly, breathlessly, sagging back against Tom’s chest.

“Guess it’s my turn to tell you how perfect you are.” He murmurs, and Tord’s heart squeezes.

He really has the best boyfriends in the world. Gently Tom turns him so Tord is straddling his lap. His land lifts to cup the Norwegian’s face, and Tord whimpers softly as he tips his head into it, eyes fluttering shut. His hand lifts to hold Tom’s hand where it is as he opens his eyes, and he almost closes them again, unprepared for the look in Tom’s eyes.

“You’re lovely.” Tom murmurs, and Tord’s cheeks flush a light pink. “You’re spectacular. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you.” Tord whispers, and Tom’s grin widens.

“C’mere.” He murmurs, drawing Tord down slowly with the hand on his cheek. Tord goes willingly, sighing softly when their lips brush. “Tell us you’re beautiful. Want to make sure you believe it.”

Tord’s breath hitches, blush darkening. Swallowing thickly, he whispers back.

“I’m beautiful.”

Tom rewards him with a sweet kiss.

“You are.” He agrees before reconnecting their lips, and Tord sags into him.

All of this time he’d spent worrying that they’d hate his scars, but he should’ve known. All of the other things they’d accepted about him, he should’ve known they wouldn’t even bat an eyelash at his face and arm.

Their kiss breaks only when Edd and Matt grow impatient and crowd in, turning the kiss into a clumsy group hug that quickly turns into a heap of limbs on the floor when they lose their balance. Laughter fills the house as the four of them wiggle into more comfortable positions, sprawled awkwardly on the floor with their movie long forgotten, and Tord mentally thanks every deity he can think of that he gets to have this.

~~~~~~

“Do you think she’ll remember us?” Edd asks, hand seeking Tords. He lifts their hands to press a soft kiss to the band of red circling his wrist, and Tord takes the opportunity to slip their hands and press a kiss to the gold band on Edd’s finger.

“If she’s still here.”

“Come on slow pokes!” Matt calls from the door several dozen feet away, Tom’s laughter following as he’s dragged inside.

Tord and Edd take their time, walking slowly up the stone path to the front door. Just like last time a gust of air conditioning greets them, earning a sigh of relief from Edd. He removes his sunglasses to tuck them into the collar of his gaudy floral print shirt, beaming at his husband. His eyes flick over the room, skimming quickly over marble pillars and brown wall trimming to rest upon the ornate circular fountain in the centre of the room.

“I found Matt.” Tord chuckles and Edd follows his gaze to the right, recognizing the lounge area almost instantly. It’s furnished with the same white couches and black tables that Edd remembers, and sure enough the missing members of their set are at the dessert table.

Tom is filling a few glasses with juice from the jug at one end of the table, while Matt has a handful of cookies and is perched by the chocolate fountain on the opposite end of the table.

Laughing delightedly Edd lightly tugs Tord’s hand, steering them toward the check in desk set off to the left of the entrance. Behind the desk is a familiar blonde, hair styled into low braids instead of the pigtails she’d had last time they’d seen her. She looks up, as if sensing their approach, and recognition flashes across her eyes.

“Well well well, if it isn’t Tord and Edd.” She grins, immediately setting aside her book. “Welcome back, boys. It’s been a long time.”

“Too long.” Tord agrees.

He startles slightly when a hand touches his shoulder, and Tom laughs softly as he sets a cup of juice on the desk in front of Tord. Another follows for Edd. He glances up, only now taking note of the blonde woman.

“Oh, Guinevere! Hey!” Tom greets, and she laughs softly.

“Welcome back!” Guinevere drags her keyboard closer and quickly begins tapping away. “Give me one second and I’ll get you four checked in!”

While she types and scans room cards, Matt approaches from the buffet and holds out a few cookies- an offering his husbands don’t hesitate to accept. Edd leans his head on Matt’s shoulder while he munches, and Tom fusses with the front of Tord’s own horrible gaudy flower print shirt that Edd had insisted he buy. You have to get one so we can all match he’d insisted, and Tord hadn’t been able to resist.

“You buttoned it wrong.” Tom snickers as he fixes it, and Tord grumbles idly, giving up his faux grumpy ruse only when Tom presses a sweet kiss to his cheek.

“Alright, so I just need your wrists for your executive bands, we can sign a few forms and you’re all set!” Guinevere announces, regaining their attention.

She’s swift as she attaches the gold bands to their wrists, and once they all have a band she hands them each a small stack of papers. While they sign them she activates the keycards, circles their accommodations on a map, and slides a paper with a list of activities scheduled for the week printed upon it into the bundle.

Once the sheets are all signed she collects them, staples them together, and hands them the small bundle she’d prepared.

“Alright, you’re all set for your stay. You’re in a different building this time, but just like your last stay we offer a complimentary shuttle service for our Executive guests and they’re available any time. There’s a pool behind your building, and the indoor pool is in building six. I circled your building on the map, and there's a list of activities we’re offering this week in there for you as well.”

“Thank you!”

“You’re quite welcome. I’ll call ahead and have a tray of cookies sent to your room.” Guinevere winks at Matt and the redhead sheepishly giggles.

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~

“I think we have everyone in the world beat for the perfect honeymoon.” Edd sighs happily as he floats through the pool on his back.

Tord grins at him from where he’s seated on the edge of the pool, watching his husbands splash around. It had been a great idea to come to the indoor pool; with the late hour the entire building was empty except for the four of them. Just like they’d wanted.

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I know so.” Matt scoffs, and Tom chuckles.

“And best husbands.” He adds, earning laughs from the others.

“Agreed.”

“There’s a zipline on the other side of the resort.” Tord says after a moment. “I might go over tomorrow, if you guys are interested.”

The other three immediately agree, and Tord’s smile widens. Slowly he flops back onto the tile ground, allowing himself a moment to simply bask in this experience. The last time they’d been to this resort had been one of the happiest experiences of his life, and now here they are again, married and spending their honeymoon goofing off in a pool with plans to zipline.

His hand lifts so he can admire his ring- something he does probably ten times a day. According to the court papers Tord is married to Tom and Edd to Matt, but it was a necessary formality; only spouse have visiting rights in hospitals, and they don’t have the luxury of pretending that that someday won’t be an issue. This way none of them will be shut out from each other in the event of emergencies.

Feeling hands on his knees Tord pushes himself up onto his elbows, meeting Matt’s gaze.

“Hello husband.” He greets, and a thrill runs through Tord. He’ll never tire of that.

“Hello husband.” He returns with a grin, leaning up to capture Matt’s lips in a kiss.

“Deep in thought?” Matt prompts, dragging himself out of the water enough that he can rest his elbows on Tord’s knees.

“Just about the loves of my life.” Tord replies. Matt grins, ducking his head to press a to the middle of Tord’s thigh.

~~~~~~~~

Edd is waiting in the car for him like he promised when Tord steps out the door for the final time. He takes a deep breath, and it’s almost freeing. It’s been almost a decade, but he’s finally done with therapy. Veronica’s card is in his pocket, a reminder that if he needs her later on she’s there, but for the first time in years he feels confident that he won’t.

Edd greets him with a warm smile as Tord climbs into the car, eyes crinkling at the corners. He leans across the centre console to steal a kiss, and Edd chuckles softly into the kiss.

“Does that mean we get kisses?” Matt pipes up from the back, and Tord pulls back in surprise.

Before he can react Tom’s lips are pressing to his, and Matt is squawking a playful protest. Edd laughs as he edges the car out of the parking space he’d chosen, and Matt claims Tord’s lips in a quick kiss before they fall back into their seats.

“I’m proud of you.” Tom says, reaching forward to squeeze Tord’s shoulder.

It had been a long road -and not an easy one- but they’d all made the effort to press through. Now, all on the other side of therapy, they feel better than ever. Tord had gone the longest, stopping after almost a decade. Edd had been around seven years, Tom and Matt around six.

“Thank you.” Tord grins genuinely.

“Paul and Patryk are at the house setting up for the barbeque, Mark and Eduardo joined them right as we were heading out.”

“Perfect, I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

Things with Eduardo and Mark had been slow moving, but had a definite upward curve after Eduardo and Tord had spoken that day in the snow. They’d transitioned from occasional awkward waves to good mornings, trading occasional containers of baked goods and hovering by the recycling bins to chat for a moment in the morning.

From there came invites to barbeques, going on walks with coffees, and meeting Paul and Patryk.

Now all eight of them get together alternating weekends for dinner, rotating houses each week.

When they pull into the driveway they can already hear Mark’s laughter from the backyard- a welcome sound to come home to. With wide smiles they all filter into the backyard. While Edd beelines to Paul and Patryk at the grill, Tom on his heels, Matt heads straight for Mark. Before Tord can do much more than stop to appreciate the view of his family Eduardo is at his side.

He holds out a cup -a rum and coke that Eduardo will swear up and down wasn’t made with diet coke and Tord will pretend to believe him- and Tord gratefully takes it.

“Congrats.” Eduardo says softly, and Tord bumps their shoulders together lightly.

“Thank you.”

They fall silent once more, happy to watch their family goof off. Mark shrieks slightly as Patryk drops an ice cube down his shirt, and Paul throws his head back to cackle as Tom immediately throws the other brunet under the bus. Tord ducks behind Eduardo as the hose is picked up by the blond, just barely dodging the stream of water headed their way.

Eduardo is less lucky.

Mark throws back his head and laughs, allowing Edd to wrestle the hose from his hands.

“Sorry babe!”

“He doesn’t sound very sorry.” Tord pipes up over Eduardo’s shoulder, and the other man chuckles softly.

“No, he doesn’t.” He glances over his shoulder to meet his friend's gaze. “Might be time for some revenge.”

Tord’s eyes flick to Edd as he hoses down Paul and Patryk and he grins wider. Edd laughs jovially, screeching as Matt and Tom approach on either side. Tord allows himself to watch his husbands, taking in the grey peppering through their hair and the crows feet by their eyes. God, he’s still so in love with them.

“I’m in.” He finally answers.

That’s all Eduardo needs to take off, beelining to Mark. The blond shrieks the second he spots his husband, turning on his heel to bail. While Eduardo chases him down Tord heads straight for Edd, swerving around Tom’s slow approach. Edd squawks in surprise as Tord’s hands cover his own.

“Tord!” He cries, and Tom and Matt dart forward.

With all three of them working together they manage to get the hose free, and Tord whirls right in time to see Eduardo with his arms around Mark. The blonds cheeks are flushed red with laughter as he pitifully struggles in Eduardo’s arms, and the other man laughs delightedly.

“Hose us!” He calls, and Tord doesn’t hesitate to soak them both.

Attention absorbed by their neighbours he doesn’t see Paul and Patryk until it’s too late and his arms are being grabbed. Tom grabs the hose and before Tord can even take a breath to protest he’s being soaked to the bone.

“This is a mutiny!” Tord squawks through his laughter.

The hose doesn’t get put away until long after the grass is soaked and everyone is thoroughly drenched, water dripping from their hair and clothes. While Tom wraps the hose up Matt wanders inside for towels. Patryk follows Matt inside to grab plates and cutlery from the kitchen, while Eduardo and Mark begin opening containers of salads and condiments on the picnic table.

Paul and Edd head right for the grill -this time to actually cook the burgers and sausages they’d bought- leaving Tord to lean up against the wall and take in the view. He never thought he’d get here.

He never thought he’d escape from under the thumb of the Red Army.

He takes in a deep breath, beaming as Matt presses a kiss to his cheek and shoves a towel into his face. As he dries his hair his gaze follows Matt through the yard, taking in the laughter filling their backyard as towels are handed out.

He never thought he’d get to have this, but he’s so glad he can.

They’d had to overcome more obstacles than most people to get here, straining themselves and pushing themselves to their limits and even beyond to get through it together, but now that they’re on the other side he knows it was all worth it.

Looking back on it, he wouldn’t change a damn thing. He’d learned a lot from Veronica, but he’d learned even more from his family. He’d learned he was worthy of love, he was worthy of forgiveness. Eduardo rejoins him, offering another cup, and Tord chuckles as he takes it.

“Not diet?” He teases, and Eduardo smirks into his own cup.

“Of course not.”

They’ve all come a long way since Tord had been lead astray by his armies ambitions, but now he knows the importance of learning to forgive and forget.

He nudges Eduardo’s shoulder gently.

“Cheers.” He murmurs, and the other man doesn’t hesitate to tap their cups together. Tord takes a swig, and almost cringes at the taste of diet coke. He chuckles softly, and the knowing gleam in Eduardo’s eyes says everything he needs to know.

He’ll forgive and forget the diet coke, too.

#tomtord #mattedd #tomedd #tordmatt #tommatt #tordedd #eddsworld #forgive and forget #forgive and forget au

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harlot-of-oblivion · 4 years

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Hi, I really like your writing. I hope you can write for me a fic for Vergil and his insecure s/o. At first, she is the one who lightened up Vergil's life after he returned from hell, helped him to get along with his family and heal his mental wounds. But after he had a strong position in human world, she started to feel insecure because she is no one, a weak human, who can not compare to this fukin perfect, gorgeous half demon man (omg) Thank you and love you

This was such a nice request to write! I hope you enjoy it! 💖

You first meet Vergil at the library. Your hand collides with his when both of you absent mindedly reach for the same book. And after a short but testy discussion, he agrees to let you check out the book first on one condition: that you bring him the book at his place of residence as soon as you are done reading it. You thought his request was quite odd, but you still consent to his demands since this stoic stranger piqued your interest.

So, you keep your word and bring the book straight to a shop called Devil May Cry. It is there that you find out a couple of things about Vergil just by walking in, such as him having a twin brother named Dante and that both are devil hunters by trade. It is a bit shocking…you did not expect Vergil, who looks somewhat like a gentleman, to be a mercenary for hire. But when you think back on it, you do remember him carrying a katana in the library…you mentally smack yourself aside the head for not connecting the dots sooner.

You exchange a few pleasantries as you hand over the book and wish him a good day. But before you can turn to leave, Vergil asks if he can discuss the book with you sometime over tea at a nearby café. You are a bit astonished as first, but quickly recover and adamantly accept his offer. His expression does not change much, but his eyes seem to look relieved as you give him your cellphone number before taking your leave.

And it is there over many cups of tea and coffee where you really get to know Vergil Sparda, son of a well renowned Legendary Knight. This explains why he does not fit in so well…being a half demon surrounded by humans who may have prejudices against him does make it hard to live a normal life. So, you decide right then and there that you are going to be good friend and help this rather grumpy devil find his place in this world.

The newfound friendship with Vergil is shaky at first. He does not talk much about his personal life at first, but the more time you spend with him, the more he reveals…albeit, a little reluctantly when he talks about his family or his past transgressions. You listen with an open mind and heart through all your conversations, really feeling for him as he bares his soul to you little by little. And every time your talks come to an end, he always asks you the same questions:

Do I disgust you now? Could you ever forgive someone who committed such sins? How will I ever come to term with what I’ve done?

And you always answer the same way:

You can either let your past hold you back or learn from it and move forward with your life. But most importantly…you must forgive yourself, Vergil. Forgive yourself and I promise that your family will see the good that I see in you now.

It takes awhile for your words to truly sink in, but once they do…Vergil has never looked so content since you have known him. He thanks you for council on multiple occasions, and you always tell him that it is what friends are for and give him a warm smile. Your heart flutters every time he returns your smile with his own soft grin, but your mind is quick to remind you that he only sees you as a friend and nothing more.

At least, you think he sees you as just a friend, but his actions say otherwise. His lingering glances, subtle touches on your hands, and gradual closeness well within your personal space…they all scream that he feels the same way. But something inside you always stops you short from stepping over that line of friendship. Your mind constantly brings up the fact you are just a measly human, a nobody, no one special. Vergil deserves someone more on par with his strength and skill, which is most definitely not you.

However, your heart doesn’t agree with your mind, and you get stuck in a perpetual cycle of yearning and self-doubt. The easiest way to end your inner turmoil is to just come forward with your feelings, but you feel so sure that it will only end with outright rejection. You would rather be friends with him than not at all despite all your insecurities. So, you suffer in silence as he moves forward with his life, reconnecting with his family and slowly healing the wounds from his past. But of course, you can’t hold back your feelings forever, and they start to leak through the cracks at the worst possible time.

Vergil has invited you to small get-together at Devil May Cry to meet his family. It’s supposed to be a happy event, but all you can think about is just how weak you are compared to all the people gathered here. How could you possibly be with a gorgeous half demon if you can’t even keep up with those closest to him? As they all chat and laugh around a pool table you start feeling overwhelmed and you need to excuse yourself before succumbing to your anxieties. As you walk out of the room you happen to glance back and catch Vergil’s expression just before the door closes. If you didn’t know any better…he looked concerned as he watches you leave. But you shake that lingering notion out of your head because how can a powerful man like him even care for the wellbeing of someone like you?

Your mind is whirling so much…you don’t even realize that you are not heading to the restroom until you come to a door labelled rooftop access. You decide that some fresh air might do your worried mind some good, so you push your way through the door and climb the stairs leading up to roof of the shop. The feeling of fresh air blowing against your face instantly calms your nerves. You walk up close the edge of the roof and just stand there, silently staring at the cityscape below as it sparkles in the late evening sun. After a few moments you have fully reigned in your emotions, tucking them back behind a wall in your mind.

You take a couple of deep breaths, preparing yourself to go back into shop rejoin the crew, but when you turn around…the man that makes your head spin and heart sing is standing a short distance away from you, coattails flapping in the wind as he studies you closely. “What troubles you?” he asks, pinning you down with his fierce and steady gaze.

“It’s nothing, Vergil,” you sigh, trying your best to quell your beating heart as you stand up straight and meet his intense gaze. “I just needed to clear my head, that’s all.”

Vergil frowns skeptically. “Clearly, something is bothering you,” he notes while taking a step towards you. “Tell me what ails you, Y/N.” He continues to move closer to you until he is well within your personal space once more. “Let me return the favor and help you just like you’ve helped me so many times before,” he offers solemnly as he peers down at you.

You know that you really shouldn’t confess what is truly bothering you. If you want to continue being friends, you should just claim that everything is fine; that you were feeling a bit stifled in the crowded room and just came up here to take in some fresh air…but you cannot lie. Not to him…and not to yourself any longer. “It’s just,” you begin, bowing your head as you muster the courage for the task at hand.

“What troubles me is my heart.” You look back up and stare deeply into his eyes as you finally confess your true feelings for the extraordinary devil before you. “My heart yearns for you, Vergil. But I know that you’ll never return my feelings because I’m weak and undeserving of your affection. And I’ve tried so hard to hold back these feelings for so long, but it’s starting to wear me down and I just can’t-”

Vergil suddenly cups your face and cuts you off with a soft and passionate kiss. You stand stock still and your frantic thoughts come to a screeching halt as all your focus turns to the warm lips pressing sweetly against your own. All the tension that previously wracked your body melts away, but before you can properly catch up to reality he draws back from your lips and strokes your cheeks while his forehead rests on your brow.

“You’re wrong,” he counters softly, silver blue eyes glowing with intent. “You are so strong, Y/N. You’ve managed to do what no one has done before…” he trails off as one of his hands leaves your cheek to take ahold of your own hand. “You’ve warmed the heart of this cold devil,” he declares in earnest as he places your hand against his chest, letting you feel his strong heartbeat as he continues. “And despite all the wrong I’ve done…you stayed by my side and helped me move on with my life.”

You are so glad that Vergil is holding you close in that very moment because you feel as if you could float away as his heartfelt words erase all trace of self-doubt from your mind. Your heart thrums as his thumb begins to caress the back of your hand. And his face is still close…your body quivers with every breath he takes before he speaks once more.

“And if anyone is undeserving of affection, it is me and not you, my heart. I’m unworthy of-”

You do not know what compelled you to stand on the balls of your feet and cut him off with your own passionate kiss. Perhaps it was just your old habit of stopping him short every time he is about to put himself down. Or maybe it was the way he called you his heart. But what you do know is that his lips feel wonderful as he leans into you, and that you love this stoic devil with every fiber of your being.

And before he can deepen the kiss, you break away and gaze up at him tenderly. “Do you remember what I told you?” you ask softly. He quirks an eyebrow and remains quiet before you go on. “You still have good inside you, Vergil.” You lovingly nuzzle his face and smile warmly as you make a solemn vow right then and there in the arms of the devil that stole your heart.

“And I will always remind you of that truth every day for as long as we’re together, my love.”

#vergil #devil may cry #dmc5 #vergil x reader #insecure reader #request #angst #lil bit o' fluff #harlot writes

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ayellowcurtain · 4 years

Text

I think most agree with an alpha for Robbe and a jealous and heartbroken Sander for seeing that he is losing it

I demand a rematch for our little Robin, in each chapter Sander is the one who supposedly rules the relationship for being an alpha, now another alpha should appear pretending to Robbe and the already tired of this relationship with Sander decide to go on dates with the other alpha, evoking Sander's jealousy.

a new alpha for Robin, who appreciates her beautiful body and beautiful curls! and let the most zealous Sander appear when he sees that Robbe is more than just for the end but that he is forever! stated!

There were more request about another part of the abo!AU, but this would be too long. Anyway, hope this one goes well. It’s a very long one too.

I’ll also fix this order soon. I think this was Part 4

Long fingers connected to a strong hand close to Robbe’s smiling lips, gently stealing the joint straight from his mouth, putting it between stranger, cocky lips, using the “sharing a joint” act as some kind of clichê romance. Sander almost wants to puke while watching the scene from afar. Robbe is at ease, slightly tipsy and so fucking horny. Sander hates himself for it, but his body now doesn’t care about anyone else, Robbe is the only smell can he can pick, even when he much rather smell anything else other than Robbe wanting someone else.

Sander knows Robbe is the perfect personification of a dream guy. A small, lean figure, soft curls framing his perfect face, a coy smile constantly on his thin, pink lips, so fucking polite and sweet and how can someone not be attracted to all of that?

Someone comes closer and stands right next to him, Sander blinks a few times, hating how miserable he’s suddenly feeling, not having to look to know that it’s Senne.

“What does that guy want?” He asks, pointing to the stranger next to Robbe like his thought aren’t obvious, anger and jealous written all over his face.

Senne laughs, bumping his shoulder against Sander’s. “They’re just talking, chill out. And Robbe isn’t your property either.”

Sander huffs, finishing all his beer at once, thinking about the bite in Robbe’s chest and the soft red marks still painting the side of his neck from days ago. He knows Robbe’s neck is still sensible because when he opened the door for Robbe earlier, he made sure to put his hand on the side of his neck when he kissed his cheek, pressing his fingers where his lips were days ago. Robbe lifted his shoulder, protecting his neck from Sander’s tickle, smiling and walking away, into the party.

Robbe is not his property, but Sander is the closest person to have him completely. Nobody will ever have what they do, no matter how much they work for it, no matter how nice they look, how good they treat Robbe in exchange for a real chance with him.

Sander starts to overheat and walks away, finding an empty kitchen for him to hide in, walking around in circles, out of breath, trying not to throw his empty bottle against some hard surface to relieve some of his frustration.

But his mood gets even worse when he hears the annoying sigh Senne lets out as he stops at the kitchen’s door.

“What now, Senne? I don’t have to stay and watch him making out with someone else do I?”

“They went upstairs,” Senne says and Sander turns and looks at him, not sure if he wants to punch his face or just die right now. At least the party would be over and Robbe would have to go home, alone, hopefully.

He should have gone home last night, the second he knew Robbe had made up his mind to stay with that asshole, but he didn’t. Senne is rich and his couch is better than any bed Sander has ever slept on, but he still couldn’t sleep very well, waking up with every little noise, looking up the stairs in hopes to catch Robbe trying to sneak out.

Nobody closed the curtains so Sander keeps his eyes closed, but he’s completely awake when the sun rises, hitting the couch and his face directly.

Suddenly he’s hit by Robbe’s smell and he opens his eyes only to instantly finding Robbe at the top of the stairs, looking half asleep, but fully dressed, his clothes don’t even look too out of place.

He smells normal again, like himself, not like his feelings, bursting through his skin.

Robbe smells like a bonfire, not wild, untamed fire, just the fire you would stare while camping in the middle of nowhere, cuddling up to someone while watching the stars.

Sander moves to lie on his side, watching as Robbe notices him, but comes downstairs without saying anything, his feelings still mostly quiet, warm, and fuzzy like every time he has barely woken up. Sander knows he can’t say a word, but he can’t help but stare, hoping Robbe will say something.

“What are you still doing here?” Robbe whispers softly when he stops right next to the couch, his fingers gently playing with Sander’s hair, putting it to the side so they can see their eyes properly.

“Too drunk to go home so I stayed. How was the night?”

Robbe shrugs and nods his head. “Good…”

“Was he good?” Sander closes his eyes, noticing how dry his throat is. Robbe is still touching his hair and Sander just wants to tell him to stop, but he doesn’t.

“We didn’t have sex, it’s our first date. We just went upstairs because he got tired of you staring at us.” Robbe says with a sleepy smile on his face, talking so easily like he’s telling one of his friends about his date, not Sander.

“Us…”

Robbe finally stops touching Sander’s hair just to touch his own, looking to the other side, the sun standing proudly in a cloudless sky. “You said it yourself that we’re young, Sander…”

Sander pushes the covers away from him, standing up in front of Robbe.

“But this is different. Britt means nothing, everyone else means nothing.”

Robbe finally turns his eyes to meet Sander’s. “And why do you think he means something to me?”

“You went on a date with him.” Robbe sighs and shakes his head. “What? Did he light some candles and you two watched the sky while talking about meaningful things? While all the wrong, damaged people were down here committing all types of sins, you were there, with a prince charming, having a fairy tale date. Good for you, Robbe.”

Robbe looks down and their conversation is interrupted by someone else on the second floor. Sander takes a deep inhale, watching as the guy comes downstairs and smiles when his eyes meet Robbe’s.

“Thought you were gone already…” He says like Sander is not even there, barely inches away from Robbe and his confidence makes Sander’s blood simmer and his heart drops to his stomach, making him nauseous again. Now that they’re this close, Sander can really take a look at the guy. He’s taller and wider than Sander, but not too much. He tries to get a smell out of him, but nothing. Maybe it’s because Sander is so trained to focus on Robbe and only Robbe, but it doesn’t matter. The guy is a nobody. Sander has a hard time bowing down to other people and that usually gets himself in so much trouble, but he’s so close to saying or doing things he might regret, the only thing stopping him is Robbe right next to him, talking so happily to the guy. Sander can’t even hear them, his ears are ringing so loud.

“I’m gonna get the fuck out of here.” He thinks out loud and Robbe finally acknowledges him, but doesn’t stop him from grabbing his boots on the floor, bumping into the guy as he walks between the two to get out of there. Robbe calls his name once but again doesn’t stop him. Sander slams the door on his way out, walking back home, needing the freezing breeze against his face to calm him down.

Sander doesn’t stay long inside his house, he’s still buzzing with anger and jealousy so he just takes a shower and puts some clean clothes on, staring at the pictures of him and Robbe they glued all around his house not even two days ago.

He tries to be rational, he brought this to himself, Robbe is not guilty, he’s just doing like Sander suggested him to do, but it hurts, like never before. He walks around for hours, just needing to put his energy out somehow. His favorite bar is open, Sander is not very sure what time it is, but as he walks inside, he’s relieved to at least be somewhere where it brings him some kind of comfort.

The guy behind the bar already knows him and serves his beer after a minute or two. The place is still very much empty, the sun has barely set and Sander chugs his beer like it’s the most refreshing water on a hot summer day.

“Finally found you…” Robbe’s voice and strong smell bring Sander back from his stupor. He looks around himself, the bar is packed with strangers, even the stools around him have people. He lost count of how much he drank sitting him, alone, feeling sorry for himself.

“Wha are you doing here?” He feels himself say, but it sounds muffled inside his head.

Robbe holds his hands, gently making him turn on the stool and try to stand up, but the floor is moving under him. “Was looking for you. For hours now, actually.”

Suddenly, it hits Sander, almost sobering him up completely. Robbe is about to go into heat. Just the realization makes him want so much, so fast, but he can’t. They’re not together. Robbe probably has someone in mind to help him deal with that. “You’re going into heat…” His lips say before his brain can stop him.

Robbe sighs and blushes and it makes Sander feel just a tiny bit better, that Robbe still blushes because of him. Only then he realizes Robbe using comfy, oversized clothes, layers, and layers of it, clearly not trying to look good for a night out, just comfortable. Sander can almost picture him nesting and fuck! All he wants is to kiss Robbe until he’s melting against the mattress, asking for cuddles.

He stands up on his own, trying to keep a distance from Robbe. “I can’t...you should go,” Sander says like it would help himself from stop smelling and even tasting it.

“Calm down, it’s not here yet…” Robbe comes closer, putting Sander’s arm around his neck, helping him walk home.

They walk with a comfortable silence between them. Sander wants to ask why was Robbe looking for him, how did we know we would be there, but lately he can’t help but feel stupid, saying things he doesn’t mean just to keep Robbe at a safe distance from him. He can’t even explain why he does that. Sander wants to be selfish and just be with Robbe, but Robbe is too good for him, for anyone, really.

He doesn’t argue when he notices they’re going to Robbe’s place, he just tries to walk with his own feet the best he can, leaning against Robbe just a little bit. He smells so good.

Robbe only lets go of him when they’re standing outside his door. He helps Sander lean against the wall and he unlocks his door, dropping his keys inside as he comes back to help Sander in.

Maybe it’s his drunk brain playing tricks on him and his neediness of Robbe, but when he comes inside, it’s almost like Sander can smell him in Robbe’s flat. He thinks about the nest Robbe is probably building, wonders if there’s something that belongs to him inside of it.He doesn’t ask, but his answer comes in how Robbe is now avoiding his eyes, taking his jacket and hoodie off, throwing on the wooden bench right next to the door to deal with it later, his cheeks getting redder. He recognizes his sweatshirt when Robbe takes another hoodie off.

Then Sander can’t bring himself to care about other people, about feelings or hookups, he doesn’t give a shit about anything else other than Robbe. His soft, understanding, so incredibly sweet and in love Robbe.

His hand goes to Robbe’s jaw before he can talk himself out of it and the way Robbe instantly parts his lips make a growl grow big inside Sander’s chest, but he manages to close his mouth for a second to stop it from coming out, stepping into Robbe’s personal space, making him look up, his lips still a little open, looking up at Sander.

“Do you want me or him? I’m sure he gave you his num-”

“You,” Robbe answers softly in a quiet whimper and Sander bites the inside of his lips not to drunkenly smile back at Robbe.

“Are you sure, Robbe?”

“You’ll do what I want, right?” Sander can only nod his head, not sure anymore if he’s able to hide his true feelings and emotions from his face or his smell. “So what I was trying to say: I want you.”

He can’t see, but he knows Robbe stands on his tiptoes, asking for a kiss and Sander can never say no to him, so he pulls him closer by his jaw, slowly licking Robbe’s lips - from bottom to top - making him properly open his mouth and sigh with the anticipation.

They kiss and Robbe finally opens up for him again, wrapping both his arms around Sander’s neck, keeping them as close as possible and Sander helps him but his legs around his hips, smiling against his lips.

“Nobody has what we have. You’re mine, Robin.” He whispers while still with his eyes closed. Robbe can probably smell everything he’s trying to hide, but he keeps his eyes close just to pretend to himself, walking to Robbe’s bedroom, his hand in the small of his back underneath the oversized sweatshirt, kissing him like it’s all he needs to live.

#wtfock #robbe x sander #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sobbe #Sobbe!Abo AU

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bitchloveskcbaseball · 4 years

Text

Surprise

This idea came from #46 from this Travel Prompt list.

Just a heads up - this is definitely angsty and sad.

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Casey smiled as she walked into the apartment she had been sharing with Bryce for almost a year now. She had been able to leave work a little early, and since it was his day off and Keiki was going to be working that evening, she figured she'd surprise him with a stay-at-home date night. She'd even stopped at his favorite restaurant and picked up some take out. After dropping the bags of food on the kitchen counter, she made her way down the hall towards their room where she could hear him rustling around.

Pushing the door open, Casey was about to call out cheekily “Surprise, baby,” but the words died in her throat when she saw the overflowing suitcase on the bed. Bryce hadn’t said anything about taking a trip but yet it looked like practically all of his clothes had been packed.

“What are you doing home?”

Casey flinched at the hostility in his voice and when she turned to face him, her brows were knitted together. “I uh… I had a light day, so I got off a little early. Thought I’d surprise you with supper. What’s, uh…what's going on here?”

He drug both of his hands down his face as he sighed. When he just stood there, looking everywhere but her eyes, Casey felt a knot of dread settle in her stomach.

She took a step towards him, but stopped when he also took a step back. “Bryce, you're scaring me. What aren't you telling me?”

“I… dammit, you weren’t supposed to be here!”

“Are…are you…” leaving me? Her mind was screaming the words, but she couldn’t seem to get her mouth to form them. Although, part of her didn’t want to ask because she knew she wouldn’t like the answer.

He finally met her gaze, then, and the despair she saw in his eyes was more than enough confirmation. She felt tears pricking her eyes instantly and had to blink hard several times to keep them at bay. There were so many questions bouncing around in her head, but all she could manage to squeak out was, “Why?”

“I…” Bryce broke off with another sigh. He opened his mouth as if to try again, but then suddenly turned and walked over to the dresser. He grabbed an envelope off the top of it and when he was back in front of her, he tried to hand it to her. When she just stared at him, he pleaded, “Just take this, please.”

“Not until you tell me what's going on.”

“That's what this is for. I didn’t know how…”

Realization started to dawn and with it came a wave of hurt unlike anything she’d ever felt before. It was so swift and strong that it literally stole her breath. She tried to get angry so she could use that to center herself, but her desperation and anguish were too strong. Her voice cracked when she asked, in a voice that was barely a whisper, “Were you really going to leave without even saying goodbye?”

Bryce dropped his head, hiding his face from her and she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. The minute that the first sob broke free, he dropped the letter on the bed and pulled her into his arms. Casey buried her face in the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist. They stood like that for what felt like hours, but was really only minutes until he gently pushed her back. Her hands fisted in the back of his shirt, desperately clinging to him as if it would keep him from leaving.

Her eyes slid closed when his palms cupped her cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that were still falling. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead before he dropped his own to rest against it. His voice was just as quiet as hers had been when he said, “Baby, please…”

“Please what?”

“Let me go.”

“I…how? Why?”

“Just…read the letter. It's all in there. I… I’m sorry, baby. Just…please know, I love you.”

As one hand drifted down to the small of her back to pull her in tightly against his front, he used the other that was still resting against her cheek to tilt her face up to his. He gave her a deep, searing kiss that only made the ache in her heart worse. Still, she clung to every second of it, knowing as soon as it ended she was going to lose the love of her life.

Casey tried to pull him back to her when he finally broke the kiss, but he untangled her fingers from his shirt and stepped back. She wanted to collapse right there in the middle of the room when he turned his back to her to zip up his suitcase, but she refused. If this was going to be the last minutes she spent with him, she was going to use every last one of them to commit his every feature to her memory. Knowing it would be all she had left to hold on to, she forced herself to stop crying so her vision wouldn’t be clouded. Her eyes focused mainly on his face, from the little bit of hair that was always falling in his face to his chiseled jaw that she couldn’t ever keep her hands off of. But it was those deep, chocolate brown eyes that she couldn’t look away from. The same eyes that had always told her what he was really feeling. The ones that had always brought her comfort. They would be the thing she missed seeing the most.

When he got the bag closed, he pulled it from the bed and turned for the door, making a point to avoid eye contact with her. He's really going to leave without saying goodbye. Just when she thought he was really going to leave without so much as another glance in her direction, he stopped in the doorway and met her gaze over his shoulder. The pain in his eyes brought tears to her own, again, but she couldn’t look away. She was searching for the words that would make him stay, but any hope she had died with the finality of his tone as he said, “Promise me you’ll read the letter. Please.”

The lump in Casey's throat was so big, she was honestly surprised when she was able to answer, “I promise.”

Bryce nodded his head once and then walked out the door wordlessly. She stood, frozen, until she heard the front door slam shut. It was only then that she gave in to the all-encompassing grief and collapsed right where she stood.

It was well after midnight before she was able to pull herself together enough to crawl into bed, still fully dressed. She pulled Bryce's pillow to her chest with her right hand, relishing in the way it smelled like him, while her left clutched his letter. There was a part of her that wanted to burn it, but she had promised him she would read it and she couldn’t stand the idea of her last words to him being a lie. So she laid there staring at it for several more hours before she worked up enough courage to open it.

Casey,

I’m so sorry for doing this this way. I wanted so badly to tell you all this to your face, but I’m not strong enough. I'm not selfless enough. Even writing this out was almost too painful.

The first thing I need you to know, is that this isn’t your fault. In fact, this has nothing to do with you. I still love you. More than I ever thought possible. More than anything in the world.

The reason I’m gone, and don’t know if or when I’ll be back, is that Keiki has to go back to Hawaii. Our parents got a court order and everything. I couldn’t let her do this alone, so I’m going with her. I’m going to try and see if there’s some way for me to become her legal guardian or something, but I have no idea how long that will take, if I even can. Either way, I couldn’t abandon her again.

And I know what you are thinking right now, but please don’t. You can’t give up everything you’ve accomplished here to come with me. I love you too much to let you give up on your dreams like that. You absolutely shine here at Edenbrook and you still have so much to learn from working with Ramsey. Don’t you dare let your talent go to waste just because I’m not here.

More than anything else, remember how amazing you are. Any time you start to doubt yourself, just remember that you are a total badass, both as a doctor and as a human being. When things get tough, let yourself lean on your friends. That's what they are there for. You don’t always have to be the strong one, even if you are the strongest person I know.

Please don’t close yourself off because of this. Don’t shut everyone out just to spite me. The only reason I’m strong enough to make this decision, to leave this life I’ve dreamed of forever, is because you've shown me how. Your love has made me a better person and has given me the strength and confidence to go home and face my parents again.

I love you so much Casey, and I will miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

Bryce

After reading the letter for at least the fifth time, Casey pulled her phone from the pocket of her jeans, where it had been since she left the hospital, and pulled up her conversation thread with Bryce. It was next to impossible to see through her tears, so it took several attempts to type out her message, but once she got it right, she forced herself to hit send. She knew he was probably still on a plane and wouldn’t see it for a while, if he even read it at all, but she needed to say the words while she was still brave enough.

I’m so proud of you Bryce. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met and I feel so lucky to be loved by you. I love you with all my heart - more than words could ever say. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day - I'm yours.

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Part 2: Home

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Tag List: @darley1101

#bryce x mc #bryce lahela x mc #bryce lahela #50 travel prompts

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hero--for--fun · 4 years

Text

Shadow {an analysis}

Been putting a lot of thought into her lately and I’ve decided a path for her and its pretty good development.

This is pretty long so its going under a cut, but I wanna talk about her.

This post also contains some Zombieman parenting stuff.

~A great deal of her feeling of rebellion and toxic mind set comes from three factors. A). Feeling like she’s less important B). Being shut down for her interests. C). Skunk

Lets start with A.

Feeling Like She’s Less Important

Her father is an S class hero, so he’s usually busy. Often Zombieman would have to break promises to her. Slowly, she developed the mindset that he was undependable, but with Skunks pushing, she started to believe that she was just not one of his priorities.

Especially since Sadako was born, Zombie has been trying to spend more time with his girls, and this rubs Shadow the wrong way. He only gets them on the weekends (every other week if he’s lucky in the summer or during breaks), so he tries not to miss too much time. After years of him not being around, for him to be around now just feels like a kick down.

This doesn’t stop with Zombie either, this also takes place at her mothers house. Shadow’s moms house was given to her in the divorce. Zombie wanted to ensure that his girls had a secure place to stay, and he didn’t want that to ever be jeopardized. When her mom remarried, her new stepdads kids started to stay over more and more, and he decided that the kids needed a room.

While Shadow and Sadako were in Zombies care, stepdad and mom decided to have “renovations” made to the house, and their visit was extended to a month rather than a weekend. When they were finally allowed back home, it was revealed that Shadow’s childhood room was no longer hers, and she had been downgraded to the basement.

Shadow would have been fine with the basement considering that it was larger than her room, but the fact nobody asked was one of three reasons this was bad. The second reason was that the basement was also going to be made into a playroom, which meant she would have little privacy or space to herself. This decision also meant that her mother and stepfather threw away a lot of her things that they deemed “inappropriate” for the younger children (Shadows posters, creepy stuffed toys, basically anything that seemed occult or dark), not caring about sentimental value or Shadow’s feelings. The third and final reason was that they decided to switch the doors lock so it only locked from the outside, meaning they could lock her in.

Feeling less important doesn’t stop at parents or family, but I don’t want to get into that for now (because its not fully branched) so lets move on to B).

Being Shut Down For Her Interests

I made a whole fake franchise just for her to be super into called “Labyrinth Series”. Basically it follows main character Betrice (Bet rice) and a group of teens as they navigate this giant labyrinth that takes them across planets and dimensions. It has an awful movie and tv series, a good book series, and basically it’s one of her favorite things because of how dark it can get.

Shadow could go on and on about this series, and considering that she’s a quiet and introverted person, this is a new behavior for her. It’s not normal for her to have full on conversations and what not, yet here she is talking about this book series and all its plotlines and characters. One of the few ways she is able to bond with Zombie, is this series.

Let me set a scene here. She’s sitting on the couch on her laptop and suddenly she just lets out this excited gasp. Zombie looks up from where he’s trying to figure out how to set up child filters on an old phone and asks what’s going on. She explains that Labyrinth Series is getting a graphic novel done by an artist she really admires. He asks what Labyrinth Series is and Shadow just starts infodumping about it to him.

He’s invested, interacting, and interested in this. He’s also impressed that Shadow is actually willing to have a conversation with him, because normally she’s either ignoring him or one word answers. Shadow actually gets him curious about all this and he winds up asking what happens next. She goes quiet and mumbles that she doesn’t know, she left the latest book at her moms and she can’t ask her to bring it because its essentially contraband.

[end scene]

Shadows mom disapproves of most of Shadows interests and Zombie doesn’t interact with her enough to know what she was into.

Her mom blamed Shadow’s “anti-social behavior” on three things; Zombieman, her appearance, and her “occult interests”. When Shadow would get to talking about things like Labyrinth Series; what music she was into; or something that didn’t sound like a typical teenage girl interest, her mom would shut it down instantly. This led to Shadow spending more time in her room, which was once the only space where she could freely express herself. Shadow couldn’t trust her mom to even touch her laundry because she’d “accidentally” throw away anything that seemed “too dark”. (That being said Shadow has lost many t-shirts this way)

Zombieman was honestly a big stuck in the past, and while she still loved Monster High most of her dolls were put away. He knew Shadow was growing up and that she was changing, but he didn’t know how much was changing. It genuinely surprised him when she started dressing in black and going by Shadow. He tends to miss trends or hit the wrong ones, and he can’t tell when a trends been over for a while. Shadow also doesn’t typically make it easy to tell she’s into something, so when he does notice she’s into something, she will sometimes deny it purely out of fear of getting shut down.

Lets move onto C).

Skunk.

Skunk is an 18 year old high school dropout who dyes a straight line down his hair different colors and thinks he’s all that and a bag of jacks. His belief is that its him vs the world and every girl who wears black has daddy issues.

He wound up meeting Shadow at a Hot Topic and he started filling her head with his rather toxic way of thinking.

“The world is against people like us, the chosen few.”

“You and I can live forever, if you trust me.”

“Nobody understands the pain your going through like I do.”

And Shadow believed him, because in her eyes the world was against them. Every new disaster, every bad thing in her life, the world itself, was flawed. Skunk convinced her that this was all because people like them were wiped out and shipped off as monsters. Skunk was filling her head with lies, and in her already damaged mental state she believes him.

Zombieman openly despises Skunk, but he can’t do much about him because Skunk isn’t doing anything too illegal. He hears the things Skunk says, and he knows that this is a large source of his daughters toxic mindset, but Shadow is so caught up in this web that she believes that its Zombie oppressing her. This is what Skunk was talking about, and her father will never understand.

Her mom also hates Skunk, but she has absolutely no idea how to make this friendship stop without Shadow turning 100% against her. Shadow would sooner commit crimes then drop the only person who seems to understand her.

Skunk is manipulative, sleazy, and extremely dangerous. He has a borderline obsession with Shadow because everything she brings to the table here. A famous father, already “damaged”, and willing to follow him blindly. Skunk is a “nice” guy and he wants to “help” Shadow any way possible. He wants what she has, he wants to live forever.

He doesn’t care about the consequences of it, if he has to sacrifice Shadow or not, or even if he has to spend it alone. All that matters is he is a legend to them all. She depends on him to show her his way, because this path is all she has in her eyes.

Shadow feels like she’s running in a nightmare.

end.

There is saving her, there is a way. I’ve already talked a lot and I wanted to post this, so if y’all actually like this maybe let me know. I can type more if y’all like this.

#The ghost association {oc tag}#Zombie girl {shadow}#Zombieman

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lucarioisinthevoid · 3 years

Note

For the Henry in Hell- maybe N. Balloon Boy, Rockstar Foxy, Scraptrap, and maybe Dave (since Henry wants to talk more with him)?

(Okay, I’m way too fucking tired to make these, but dear god, it’s five AM and I WILL fucking get the Henry in Hell stuff done NOT READ THIS OVER I’LL REGRET THIS AFTER HAVING HAD A NAP. BUT FOR NOW? KICK MY ASS AND CALL ME A CANDY CANE. I’M NOT WASTING MORE TIME. I’LL EDIT IT TOMORROW. ENJOY.)

Does he want to talk to Dave? It’s difficult to say. He wants answers. And Dave seems like the weakest link in the chain. There seemed to be certain beings that influenced how the nights played out. For now, he knew of three for a fact. Most obvious, DeeDee. Henry was considering that perhaps she was connceted to the old man- there was a keen smell of lake water whenever she appeared. At first he hadn’t noticed, but now he couldn’t miss it, no matter how badly his anger flared up when he saw her suddenly jump out from beneath the table, or some sort of black hole of vile darkness, where all the annoying thing festered and cross-bred to create worse and worse- He took a deep breath. Stay calm. … yes, the lake. The lake brought him here, it must have some sort of importance. Being capable of changing the rule of the night… that seemed to be within the lakes domain. Then there was the suit. Of course the suit was special. Remaining behind after the night, during the downtime. Sometimes Helpy and Rockstar Freddy appeared to give advice and little prices ‘for the trouble’, but they never remained for long. Also, both of them were bears. Like the suit. He hadn’t yet found a way to make the suit react to any sort of input from his side, thus testing him and the changes he caused to his environment was almost impossible. Even calling him Goldie drew hardly any reaction from him. The most influence he had seen the suit exert was about the TV program, but his continuous presence still was beyond notable. Now, last was… … Dave. Of course. If there was one person capable of manipulating the souls without even knowing how or that he was even doing it in the first place, it was his purple companion. Sometimes he had wondered if there was such a concept as deliberate chaos manipulation. Another thing he might would have figured out if he would have not been brutally cut off from all his studies. But, no time being bitter. All he need was to figure out the variables at his disposal, then he would be able to manipulate them to his own benefit. There was an exit. This was a trap, a way to contain him, a place consuming energy like any other. And there was a way to shut it down. He merely needed to figure it out. For that, however, he needed to start getting some data. Try out different stimulus. That was what he was ready to do today. He had plenty of positive contact with Dave so far, nothing more seemed to be coming out of it. Despite everything, Dave STILL insisted this here was a great place- and Henry did not care for it. There was nothing he could bribe out of his former friend anymore, he clearly was not being cooperative- so he would show him another side, at the risk of ruining any claim to their friendship forever. … not that there were any traces left after Dave had betrayed him. Valuing his object of obsession over him, spitting in the face of everything Henry had ever done for him. Nightmare Balloon Boy slipped into the room- the night had started. “AND WHAT WILL YOU DO TODAY, TOOTHPICK?” “You will be surprised. I am sure of that…” “YOU THINK YOU CAN SURPRISE ME?” “It is not you I plan to surprise, so it hardly matters.” The animatronic looked at him suspicious. “YOU SEEM VERY CONVINCED ABOUT THIS, SHORTSNACK.” “I am.” That was where Henry stopped the conversation. Saving his energy for the one he was meaning to hurt. He glanced at the Nightmare Balloon Boy, feeling barely anything for him. This creature would not attack- it was too weak to go against the rules, so it would be leering at him while he had the camera up, grinding his teeth. Rockstar Foxy he had actually never met before- and he’d try to avoid him tonight too. For some reason he always had the eerie feeling that this bird would never like him- no matter what he tried. He loved birds a lot. That was why birds tended to stay as far away from him as possible. The plastic nightmare snarked something- But Henry wasn’t listening. He didn’t need him anymore. He didn’t have to talk to him anymore, even if he liked it, even if it was entertaining. Henry’s focus was on one thing only. Dave. Namely, how to rip him apart. Slowly his fingers tapped on the table, as he shortly took down the camera to flash the animatronic in his room, before pulling it back up, looking at the little springtrapped head moving along. … why would the one he shouldn’t have killed give Dave so much ability to manipulate the world around him? To a point that he was even allowed to join him in the office without attacking? Probably because he wanted to see them fight. And frankly- Henry wanted to fight him too. He was tired. And angry. He wanted to face the stupid child and-

Talk to him.

There was no spite for him specifically, in some way he could admire this child and the world he created. The animatronics, all filled with at least some level of personality, and somehow convincing two creatures from beyond to aid him. Yes, there was a lot of raw potential here. Perhaps it could use some guidance. … at least he could TRY. Either he would get out, he would get to teach a high potential being, or- worst case- everything would stay the same. Dear god, this place was BORING him. Boring him like constant nails on chalkboard, boring him like itching teeth and a vile smell. Nothing was truly happening- and it was driving him crazy. Even worse so that Dave claimed this place was great, while still acting as though he was Henry’s best friend. There was something so intensely infuriating about it. It didn’t FEEL like Dave was free himself, but he thought if anyone could help him get out- it would be him. Yet he denied everything- The person who kept him here… All of a sudden a terrible idea grew inside of Henry’s mind. What- What if it was the Orange Guy? At least his long lost soul, biding its time until he could come and- That would explain why Dave was filled with so much life and personality. He WOULD know him. And the guy was extremely talented at convincing those around him to aid his wants. … maybe the child form he had taken on had to do with trauma? Dave himself seemed to have at least a second soul that got stuck back from before his mother died, it would not be too unlikely- not to mention that souls were inherently ageless. Perhaps it had been an act of deception, trying to throw Henry off the trail. Yet- that would leave the question… if the soul was here with him, then what was keeping the Orange Guy alive? He shuddered and tried not to think about it. There had to be something, SOMETHING powering him. Something… No matter what, it would be upsetting to hear his friend being insulted. And his glance on the camera confirmed that it was about to be done. A choice. He had to commit, with his very soul. And he would. The vents rattled, Henry refreshed the ventilation and put down the screen, flashing the Nightmare, before looking up at the vent. Almost instantly, Dave’s eyes shined a pale light out of the darkness. His grin glowed out from under the mask, just to gently shift into innocent confusion. “Henry. Aren’t ‘cha gonna let me in?” Coldly the Pink Man looked at his former friend. “No.” Dave’s grin widened for a moment, thinking it was a little game. “Aw, c’mon! What if I say please? Please lemme in? Pretty please!” “I do not think I will.” It was then that Davetrap caught on that something was going on. His expression shifted again, fully this time around. Worry, confusion and- annoyance. Of course, always the annoyance about defiance, Dave was one and the same as him on this topic. However, Henry at least always had the authority of logic- Dave had nothing, nothing but his unstable emotions and violence to justify his wants and get his way. “… why? What’s the problem, Henry?” “I am done with you.” The word came over Henry’s lips utterly naturally. He meant it. Even as Dave recoiled. The atmosphere in the establishment instantly changed, as well as Dave’s entire expression. It was glowing still, as bright and if not brighter… and plenty of people might misunderstand it as him still having fun, still amused, however Henry knew him better than he knew himself. He knew that was nothing but rage. “What did you say there, friend?” “I told you I am done with you. William, you have done nothing so far but to disappoint me.” There was an art to it- To give just enough of a pause to let the words HURT, but not enough to let a counterargument form- to let any resistance develop. “Frankly, I have given you many chances. Too many changes. Failure after failure was all you brought me however. I put all my effort into you- effort that I could have put into ANYONE else, into a damn PET and it would have served me better.” “You-“ “No. No, William, you do not get to talk. I have kept quiet for too long. Giving you mercy, care, hoping and praying for you to turn into something better- and now look at you. Who do you think you ARE?! Using my generosity? Abusing my patience?! You were useless! You never aided me when it counted, you never LEARNED, you were SELFISH, like an ANIMAL, you were IGNORANT, you were an OBSTACLE- All my WORK, all my LOVE for you, our BOND- It never existed outside of my head, did it?!” “What- Henry, I-“ “WHAT. What do you THINK you can SAY here?! WHAT EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE, I AM DYING TO KNOW! DYING, QUITE LITERALLY, BECAUSE OF YOUR DISLOYALTY, YOU SACRIFICED ME. YOU SACRIFICED ME, AND EVERYTHING WE HAVE WORKED FOR. YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY. YOU HAVE NOTHING YOU CARE ABOUT. YOU ARE A SHAM! A SHELL OF A PERSON! A HEARTLESS MONSTER! AND NOT EVEN ONE OF THOSE THAT ARE OF WORTH, OF VALUE, OF USE! Anything that you provided me with was something I could have reached by myself. All you have done was to hinder me.” Infuriated the guy in the vents hissed. “What the fuck do you think you’re sayin’?! I’VE BEEN-“ Mockingly Henry grinned up at him. “What? What have you been doing? When have you ever been useful? Protected me? Face it, William, I pitied you and that was my mistake. I should have known that there was a reason everyone discarded you before. Once you will be gone, nobody will cry for you- nobody will miss you. The Orange Guy- to him you are merely entertainment. You are a fucking TOY at best- and more so an UNLOVEABLE, REPLACABLE TOOL.” Finish it. One last time. Slowly he stood up, stepping towards the vent. “William. Look at me. I want you to look at me, and I want you to know… … everything would have been better if you never had existed.” With that he closed the vents- both the front and the side one, just in time as the entire room was shaking, flickering, as something hysterical was making its way through it- Both sides of Dave being blocked out, as Henry fell back into his seat, raising his monitor, fixing the ventilation just in time. The night was not long after that. When he returned to the office, the suit was positioned in a way that it was looking at Henry as he entered. … somehow looking disappointed. Accusing. But Henry had no interest in that. Instead his attention was drawn to the board. All animatronics were glowing. The board was RED. Good. It was time.

#henry miller #Henry in hell #Dave Miller #Poor Dave

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mithranqueersmusings · 4 years

Text

Baby, You’re A Rich Man XIII

Chapter: 13/28

Rating: U

Summary: Ringo could never understand why that group of three boys made him feel so uncomfortable, or why the way George looked at him sent him into a panic. After a chance encounter Ringo discovers the truth and has no clue what to do with the information.

Tags: AU - Gangsters, Slow Burn, Smut, Eventual Romance, Violence, Angst

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

The four of them sat drinking and laughing for a while, Ringo very much enjoying the relaxed atmosphere around them. Every so often somebody would walk past the table and say hello to them, never forgetting to make Ringo feel welcome. Whenever they asked for his name, they almost always had the same reaction of thinking he was some musician, which made Ringo feel a little bit like a celebrity. A few girls had seemed interested in him, asking whether he would dance with them later or join them for a drink but he'd made it very clear that he was committed to George. At one point George had egged Ringo on, perhaps to let him know that he wouldn't really mind if he danced with a girl, but Ringo didn't even want to entertain the idea - George had his full attention. Some of the girls were gorgeous, and two months ago Ringo would've jumped at the chance just to speak to them, but no part of him felt interested.

After a couple more drinks, several for John, the ceremony began and Ringo desperately wished they'd taken a table further away from the arch. This was the first time he saw Tony, who looked normal enough, but he had a strange air about him. They looked happy together, Ringo thought, but he couldn't tell sometimes whether Stephanie was smiling or grinding her jaw. Something told Ringo that they weren't going to have the most flattering wedding photos. Despite how unwelcoming Stephanie had been, he still felt warm at the sight of the two of them exchanging their vows and rings. The whole crowd cheered when the bride and groom kissed, some whistles and shouts breaking above the noise. Stephanie showed off the ring to the group of girls who began crowding towards the front, it had a ridiculously large gem on it which Ringo wasn't the biggest fan of, but each to their own he supposed. Then came for the moment when the bride turned her back to the crowd, clutching a grand bouquet of flowers in preparation to throw it behind her; the girls were getting a little aggressive over it, many of them trying to elbow their way to their front and squealing as though they truly believed this ritual meant anything. The flowers flew backward, rather sloppily on account of Stephanie's intoxication, and what happened next Ringo hadn't prepared for.

The flowers landed in his lap and the whole world seemed to freeze for a moment. There they were, sitting almost perfectly on his knees like this was some kind of sick joke, and Ringo's face turned almost as red as the roses before him. His eyes widened and mouth dropped open as he looked over at George who had a massive grin on his face. The crowd was silent, Stephanie glaring at him - if looks could kill, Ringo thought he would've dropped dead at that moment - but a raucous shout burst out not too far away from him.

"Fuck yeah, Ringo!" It was John, standing up abruptly and pushing the table slightly as he did, clapping his hands together and cheering.

Almost immediately everyone else replicated this, cheering and clapping for Ringo who was only blushing harder. He turned his eyes to George once more who pulled him close for a tender kiss, only spurring on the celebration further and intensifying Stephanie's anger. Ringo felt George's hand running through his hair, the other cupping his cheek delicately as their lips met and Ringo's head was swimming; it felt like a dream. After what felt like an eternity, the band struck up a romantic song so that the couple could enjoy their first dance together. Ringo pulled away later than he felt he should've, but it was hard to deny himself the pleasure of kissing George. The crowd's attention was fully on the newly-weds now which was a relief to Ringo who's face was beginning to return to its natural shade. Paul had a very pleased look on his face as the two pulled away from each other which made Ringo smile.

Ringo struggled to avoid thinking about the connotations of the whole thing, trying to focus on the fact they were just flowers, but his mind began running away with ideas of commitment. Granted he hadn't really known George that long, but it really didn't feel that way, and there wasn't anybody Ringo had ever felt so strongly about before, especially not this quickly. He didn't know what to do with the thoughts, it was probably best to leave them right now in case he ruined the lovely moment, but he had a feeling they were going to keep returning to him throughout the day. After a few minutes the song ended and the crowd cheered once more, the couple sharing a sweet kiss before other couples began to step out into the open space to begin dancing. The band picked up the speed with their music slightly, but some couples were still slow-dancing.

George stood up then and held his hand out for Ringo "Care to join me?" He said with a smirk.

Ringo took his hand excitedly and was led towards the array of couples, John and Paul slowly followed behind him as Paul struggled to get John on his feet. They moved through the crowd towards the back, closer to the large expanse of the garden, then halted. George let go of Ringo's hand then and moved it down to his waist, the other taking Ringo's second hand confidently while Ringo stood there looking confused. He'd never really danced like this before, the girl's he met in clubs were more interested in having fun than actually being romantic. He looked up at George slightly lost who just chuckled at him.

"Put your hand on my shoulder, you melon." George smiled down at him and Ringo did as he said.

The feeling of George's hand pressed against his hip, slipping underneath his jacket and caressing the clothed skin, shamelessly excited Ringo. Slowly they began to move their feet, Ringo trying his best to follow George. It didn't take long for Ringo to get the hang of it and before long they were moving across the space with at least some grace. Ringo wasn't sure he really saw the point of it though, and if anybody but George had offered it to him he certainly would've refused it, but being able to focus solely on the other man, looking into his dark eyes as he moved along with his body certainly had its benefits. George gently drew circles on Ringo's hip as they danced, a few times he began to move his hand lower but corrected himself almost immediately, but Ringo wasn't sure it needed correcting. After three or four songs, the band took a quick break, which gave Ringo a chance to catch his breath somewhat. When the music finished, George captured Ringo in a kiss, moving his hand to Ringo's back and pushing them close together; nobody was really looking at them, they'd purposefully kept as far away from people as was socially acceptable, but Ringo couldn't help feeling somewhat exposed. George's tongue pressed into Ringo's mouth with a happy hum, his other hand going to Ringo's neck to kiss his deeply. Ringo could stay like this forever, or at least he'd like to but when George began to plant kisses on his neck Ringo had to stop him otherwise there'd be no turning back.

"All in good time." Ringo chuckled, rubbing his thumb on George's cheek which was reddening.

"Don't wanna wait." George mumbled, planting a kiss on Ringo's jaw.

"I know... Neither do I." Ringo breathed, lifting up George's face lightly and kissing him softly but pulling away before he could deepen it "But it'll be worth the wait."

George smiled at him weakly, Ringo could see the lust in his eyes but he was clearly trying to fight it. His gaze on Ringo was heavy, and it made him feel like he was going to melt, but luckily the band began to play again and saved Ringo from what felt like damnation. It was faster music now, more of the rock and roll that Ringo loved so much and a smile grew on his face as he recognised the song. This was something he was used to, and he was instantly more relaxed now than he had been trying to ballroom dance with George. The two of them loosened up, shaking their heads and twisting their bodies as they laughed and smiled with one another. Eventually they found Paul and George dancing, John occasionally giving Paul a messy spin or attempted dip and while Paul protested, it was the happiest Ringo had ever seen him.

A few of the couples and elderly people had sat back down now as the younger party guests took over the dance floor. They danced for hours, jackets were gradually discarded and tossed to the side as the sun's heat continued to beat down upon the avid dancers. The smell from the garden was sweet, and as Ringo danced away with George and his friends he struggled to think of anything that would've made the situation better.

During one of the songs, George pulled Ringo close to him and danced with him this way, either their chests or backs pressing together. At first it was rather silly, both of them laughing away as they continued to finish off glasses of champagne whenever they could get a hold of one, but it gradually grew more animalistic. George began breathing heavily in Ringo's ear, running his hands over his body and Ringo would extend out his neck so that George could kiss him there. They began sweating, George undid a few of his shirt buttons and Ringo gazed lustily at the sharpness of the taller man's collarbones. Ringo wasn't sure how long they danced like this for, but luckily they were hidden away enough by groups and couples dancing that they could get away with it. They kissed desperately between songs, hands pawing all over the other's body, and Ringo felt his head swimming.

Eventually the music came to a halt and someone announced that it was time to eat, so the dance floor quickly emptied. Ringo pulled George away, linking their fingers loosely together and they made their way back to the table. George rushed to make himself look presentable again, straightening his tie and putting on his jacket. Paul and John were already sat down by the time they got there, and Ringo could see some hickies forming under Paul's collar; it was refreshing to know himself and George weren't the only randy ones.

"How's the bread plan going John?" Ringo asked as he sat down, still a little short of breath.

"Well... I've drank quite a few by now, and I'm not really feeling that drunk." John said drunkenly.

"How many is quite a few?" George chuckled.

"More than 10... Less than 100." John smiled proudly.

"I've even lost count, that should tell you something." Paul said, he was resting his head against Paul's.

"Maybe the food will sober him up." Ringo suggested as the waiters began bringing the plates out.

The starters were delivered after a few minutes, it was some kind of fancy salad. Ringo was a little nervous about the whole eating aspect of it all, as it was difficult to know for sure whether his allergies would act up sometimes. Another daunting obstacle was the cutlery, there was far too much of it. Ringo looked over at George how a child may look at their classmate to copy off their test, and just followed his actions.

"No need to look so terrified." George laughed as he began eating "You've dealt with scarier knives, after all."

Ringo scoffed at the comment but George's dry humour helped him to relax somewhat. They got through the first course, laughing and chatting between mouthfuls, before the plates were collected and the next course was brought out. It was an array of seafood and Ringo let out a heavy sigh.

"What's up?" George asked quietly.

"I'm allergic to seafood." Ringo chuckled awkwardly. "But I don't wanna be rude."

George just smiled, taking his fork and picking off a prawn from Ringo's plate and putting it into his mouth.

"Lads, clear some room on your plates." George mumbled as he continued to eat, picking up Ringo's plate and sharing the food in between the three of them.

"I won't say no to some more scallops." Paul smiled sweetly, John just nodding as he stuffed his mouth with food and drink.

"If you're hungry later we can go out for something." George explained, handing Ringo his almost empty plate back.

"Thanks." Ringo smiled, taking a sip of his drink.

"You can thank me later." George winked.

Ringo felt his stomach stir, he tried not to think about all the ways he wanted to thank him.

As the sun began to set, all the dessert plates long empty and everyone was happily chatting away, drinking copious amounts of champagne and smoking. While it was starting to get a little chilly, it was still fairly warm and Ringo didn't feel like moving. The newlyweds had driven off to start their honeymoon an hour or two ago but the festivities had continued. A few groups of people had left and the band were performing their final songs before they called it a night.

"Wanna get another dance in before they head off?" George asked, cigarette sitting between his teeth.

Ringo nodded eagerly and they headed off once again. John had continued on his mission to drink into oblivion and while Paul seemed mildly annoyed, his affection never wavered. John kept rambling about how beautiful Paul was, how lucky he was to have him, which made the other man blush. Ringo had asked if Paul wanted to dance too, but he shook his head with a smile and said he had to stay to look after John. When Ringo looked back at their table as George carried him off, Paul had scooted his chair closer to John's and was resting his legs on top of him, practically sitting in his lap as he comfortingly whispered in his ear; it made Ringo happy to see them so enamoured with one another.

There were a few stragglers on the dance floor, either happy couples or extremely intoxicated people trying their best to remain upright. This time, instead of putting his hand on Ringo's hip, George just put both of his hands on his back and pulled them together, pulling up Ringo's hands to lace behind his own neck. It was still an adjustment for Ringo to be the submissive one in all this, not to say that he minded, but it was still strange to have someone assuming the more typically 'masculine' role. George's hands adjusted themselves comfortably on Ringo's back as the two of them began to sway to the music. Looking into his eyes, with the world darkening around them, Ringo felt like he was in a trance. It felt entirely magical. He could really appreciate George's beauty like this, and there was a lot to appreciate , and no part of him wanted to break their intense stare.

"Have you had a good time?" George asked in a hushed tone.

"Almost perfect." Ringo smiled.

"Almost?"

"Well the day's not over yet."

"And what a finale it'll be." George smirked.

"I sure hope so."

"There's no need to be nervous, you're in safe hands." George punctuated his words by dipping one of his hands into Ringo's back pocket, which gave him a start.

"I've been looking forward to it, quite a lot actually." Ringo admitted, letting his fingers play with George's hair.

"Have you got work tomorrow?"

"No... Why?"

"Good." George smirked "Just thought you might need the rest."

"Well you did promise to fuck my brains out. Am I remembering that correctly?"

"Don't you worry, Ringo. I'm a man who keeps his promises." George purred.

Ringo looked deep into his eyes and saw no sign of hesitation in them. He gulped, that familiar stir in his stomach rising up. The way George said his name like that was unfair, it sounded too good, like Ringo's name was made to come out of George's mouth. He expected that wouldn't be the last time George would be calling his name that night.

#the beatles #beatles #beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfic #beatles fanfiction #george harrison/ringo starr #ringo starr/george harrison #ringo starrxgeorge harrison #george harrisonxringo starr #starrison

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emmerrr · 5 years

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#17 for pynch? :)

17: “Ugh, why did I eat that?” (i have no idea how i got to this fic from this prompt but…here we are. also now i’ve finished all of them so GOOD FOR ME!)

Morning arrives unwelcome.

Adam’s instantly alert upon waking up, not like the usual half an hour it takes him to become somewhat coherent and cognitive. The other side of the bed is empty but still warm, and he can vaguely hear the shower running, so Ronan’s obviously only just got up. He doesn’t know what time it is, but he knows he needs to be on the road by midday unless he wants an absolutely hellish journey.

He also knows he doesn’t want to leave.

It’s always hard to say goodbye at the start of a new semester, but there’s always been an undercurrent of excitement there, too. The anticipation of classes and settling into a new routine and getting to learn new things. This time, all Adam feels is dread. It’s never been like this before; never has the prospect of a new semester made him clam up and lock down. Never before has everything inside him just said no quite as emphatically as this. Not about school.

The shower clicks off and Adam quickly reaches out and grabs his phone to check the time. It’s only just after seven so he puts it back, pulls the covers up higher to hide most of his face, and shuts his eyes.

A moment later the bedroom door opens and Adam listens to Ronan putter about, opening and closing the closet as he dresses for the day. Then the bed dips next to him and Adam feels the heat radiating off of Ronan, fresh out of the shower. It’s quiet for a few seconds, but then Ronan exhales slowly, and runs the back of his fingers down the side of Adam’s face. The touch is so light that Adam’s not sure he hasn’t imagined it, and it takes everything in him not to open his eyes. But the minute he does, Ronan will know that something is wrong, and Adam doesn’t know how to explain.

He just needs a moment to decide where the feeling is coming from, so he can pick it apart and then put it aside.

A kiss is pressed to Adam’s temple, and then Ronan’s weight is gone, his footsteps cross the room, and the door shuts with a quiet click behind him.

Adam is alone, and he opens his eyes.

He touches his face where Ronan’s hand just was. This, he thinks, is what I’m going to miss.

He wonders if it’s perhaps because it’s winter. They’ve just spent the holidays together and the Christmas decorations are still up, and it’s so much warmer in the Barns than it ever gets in the tiny off-campus apartment Adam shares with two other people. He had exams and deadlines before the holidays so the time off has been completely blissful in that he’s had literally no other obligations. He’s just been able to enjoy himself, and enjoy Ronan.

Maybe it’s because he’s now halfway through his third year, and the novelty has worn off, and the knowledge that he still has a year and a half to go until graduation is now just a heavy weight in his mind.

Adam doesn’t want that to be the case. But he’s trying to be honest with himself about how he feels, and at the moment, college is absolutely the last place he wants to go.

He so badly wants to stay.

Deciding that maybe a shower will bring him more clarity, Adam drags himself out of bed and into the bathroom.

It’s still steamy in there from Ronan’s shower and it is nice to stand under the hot water and wash the night off. He feels refreshed by the time he gets out and hunts down some clothes, but then he has to pack his PJs in his duffel to take back to school and his mood instantly sours again.

He thinks about the long drive ahead of him, about having to stay up late tonight to register officially for his new classes at midnight, about having to meet with his study group tomorrow. He doesn’t want to do any of it.

He wants to go back to bed with Ronan and sleep until he can face the world again.

Adam trudges quietly down the stairs and stops at the bottom of them. He can see into the kitchen from here; Ronan is pouring batter into a waffle iron. The side door in the kitchen bangs and Opal trots in, and Adam hangs back to watch. No one has noticed that he’s there.

Opal steps up to Ronan and pulls on the bottom of his sweater. “Here,” she says as he turns, and holds something out to him. It’s a sandwich. “For you.”

Ronan arches an eyebrow sky high and Adam smiles despite himself. “You made this?”

Opal nods proudly.

“Is this fit for human consumption?”

“Duh,” Opal says, and Adam can’t fully see her face from this angle but he can imagine her rolling her eyes, a gesture she learned from Ronan. And to be fair, it certainly looks like real bread, although the fact that she’s brought it in from outside is highly suspect.

“Alright,” Ronan says, accepting the offered sandwich and taking an absolutely enormous bite, which is either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave.

He chews, pauses, then hurries to the sink to spit it out. “Ugh, why did I eat that?”

Adam laughs lightly but something tugs in his chest. He can’t leave them, he doesn’t want to leave them, can’t he just stay…

He steps into the kitchen and Opal runs straight to him and grabs his hand, twirling around. Ronan turns around and points at Opal accusingly. “You said it was fit for human consumption, brat. Dirt sandwiches are not people food.”

“They are if you’re not a coward,” she sing-songs back, before laughing and running back outside before Ronan can catch her.

Ronan grabs some milk from the fridge and drinks straight from the carton to try and dislodge the taste.

“Manners, Lynch,” Adam says, grabbing it from him and pouring him a glass instead. He hands it over and Ronan drinks it down greedily. “Honestly, what were you expecting?”

“I dunno. Nutella?”

Adam shakes his head, but he’s fond, so fond. “My favourite thing about this is that she specifically took bread outside to make that. Like…she could have just used tree bark or something, but no. She committed to tricking you into eating dirt and it just worked.”

“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, Parrish.” Ronan downs the rest of his glass of milk and puts it down next to the sink, then heads over to the waffle iron. “Anyway, I’m making waffles. You want any?”

Adam does want waffles. He wants nothing more than to sit down and eat a mountain of waffles and then retreat into the living room under a blanket where he and Ronan can make out until the sun goes down. Then he wants to do it again tomorrow.

It’s an overwhelming want, and Adam’s shaken by the force of it. He’s no clearer to discovering the source of the feeling, or why it’s affecting him today when he was fine yesterday.

It feels cruel to tell Ronan somehow, but Adam can’t help it. He can’t keep this inside. He loops his arms around Ronan’s waist and presses his forehead into the back of his neck.

“I’ll take that as a yes to waffles then,” Ronan says, a laugh in his voice. But when Adam doesn’t respond, Ronan reaches up to hold his hands. “Parrish?”

“I don’t want to go,” Adam says, but it’s quiet and it’s muffled against Ronan’s back.

“Adam?”

He leans back which gives Ronan the space to be able to turn around to face him, and he cups Adam’s face with his hand, his expression concerned.

Misery overtakes Adam and he looks at the floor. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here.”

Ronan remains absolutely frozen for a few seconds, but then he blinks slowly, sighs, and smiles sadly. “You’ve got classes, Adam. And a schedule. But you’ll be back before you know it.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes, you do,” Ronan says, and his eyes narrow slightly.

Adam is abruptly annoyed. “Your waffles are burning,” he says curtly, and Ronan turns around with a curse, rescuing his waffles which are now blackening around the edges.

He tosses them onto a plate but leaves them on the counter, turning back around to Adam and crossing his arms.

“So what,” he says, and good, he’s annoyed, too, “you’re staying now?”

“Well apparently I’m not welcome,” Adam snaps, feeling awful, and is this what he’s doing? Picking a fight to make it easier to leave? That won’t work, he knows distantly that it won’t. But he wants Ronan to hold him close and say that he can stay forever and that isn’t what’s happening, and Adam doesn’t know how they got here.

“Don’t fucking do that, I never said that and you know it’s not true. This is your home, Adam, as much as it’s mine.”

Adam feels too in it to back down now. “Then fine, I’m staying. I said I wanted to stay so I’m staying.”

Ronan throws his hands up. “Okay, great, you’re staying. So you’re dropping out of college then?”

Adam pauses. “I didn’t say–”

But Ronan bulls on. “Do you want to tell them, or should I? That they can give your scholarship to someone else, that all the work you’ve put in so far means fuck all now?”

Adam scowls. “I get it, Ronan.”

He’s on a roll now. “Come on then, let’s drive up there and get the rest of your stuff. May as well get it over with. It’s a great fucking day for a road-trip.”

“I said I get it, you can stop now, I’m obviously not dropping out,” Adam snaps and he turns on his heel and walks outside, stopping briefly in the porch to pull on some wellington boots; just because he’s storming out doesn’t mean he wants to get frostbite.

He’s almost at the furthest field before Ronan catches up with him; out of breath, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. He’s got his coat on though, and he has another one over his arm.

“Adam, I’m sorry, okay? Put this on.”

Adam stops walking and takes the coat, pulling it on. It’s warm and it smells like Ronan and all at once he’s had enough.

“Ronan,” he starts, and it’s all he needs to say. Ronan’s arms are around him instantly, safe and secure and unwavering. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Well I do,” Ronan says, and he pulls back so he can look Adam in the eye. “It’s a bad day. That’s all.”

Adam sniffs. It’s mostly from the cold. “A really bad day.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Ronan says, then offers a small smile. “If you really want to stay, you know you can. You can drop out of college and live here with me and work at Boyd’s or we could just live off family money, if that’s what you really want. But I don’t think it is.”

He scrutinises Adam for a reaction, and Adam scrunches his nose up distastefully and shakes his head. “No, that’s not what I want.” And it’s not, of course it’s not. Today’s meltdown aside, Adam loves college, and he’s worked hard for it, and he’s not quitting now just because leaving Ronan means leaving a piece of his heart behind.

Ronan kisses him, and it’s grounding and comforting and Adam melts into him. “One more Christmas like this,” Ronan whispers into the space between their lips. “Just one more, and then our time is our own. We can do this. Fuck, we’ve been doing this.”

Adam nods, and Ronan presses their foreheads together. “C’mon, Parrish. It’s freezing out here and there’s burnt waffles to eat.”

“I would’ve thought you’d prefer a dirt sandwich,” Adam says drily, and Ronan smirks.

“There’s the bastard I fell in love with.”

Later, Adam drives down the highway with one of Ronan’s mixtapes playing as loudly as the shitbox will allow. He glances down briefly and spies the soup-filled thermos that Ronan gave him before he left in the cup-holder. (”For when you get hungry, Parrish.”)

He has the memory of a thousand see you soon kisses repeating in his mind, he’s wearing Ronan’s hoodie, and he’s going to call home as soon as he arrives.

He feels better. And he smiles.

#the raven cycle #pynch #tumblr prompts #trc fic #trc

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vhanities · 5 years

Text

Richard Vamir died almost a month ago and Clair still hadn't moved on.

It was not entirely visible. You could only see it if you looked closely at the cracks, at the locker left untouched in the dormitory or the seat assigned to him in Moore's Design Strategy classes. And, if you dug deeper, you could see it in the idle chair sitting by the window in Samaira Sheikh's dormitory―the chair that had, in a sense,belonged to Richard. It was empty in a way that made it look like Samaira was almost expecting him to come back, talk about his day and sit down on the plush purple velvet covers to look out of the window while she sat on her desk completing the rest of her pre-mid projects in silence. It was like they were all expecting him to come back and quote pretentious poems, like they were all living their lives wasting every moment in memories.

All except one.

Han Kai Tuo had been the first one to arrive at the roof after getting the ominous message from Richard and he knew more than what was just there. He refused to believe Richard committed suicide, contrary to the popular belief among the townsfolk, and today was no exception. He sat on the edge of Samaira's bed, glaring at the white bedspread with lilac undertones. "This isn't right," he said, after a while.

Dante, who was sprawled on the faux purple fur carpet playing catch all by himself, glanced up. "Kai―" he said with a tired sigh, "―let's just forget that happened okay. Please."

Kai could not. He could not forget what had happened, he could not unsee it. It was engraved in his brain; branded on his skin. He knew Richard hadn't committed suicide, they all did―but saying even one word of it, just a word, would make them all the prime suspects, no matter what their alibis said.

"We saw him, he was right there―"

"Kai!" Samaira, who had been sitting on the desk quietly for a while, slapped the top hard enough for it to resound across the room. "Shut up. Shut up. We saw nothing. We came after he left."

Kai opened his mouth to retort and shut it back, deciding to lie down on his back instead. He was still wearing his shoes, so he just lay there awkwardly with his feet on the ground and eyes on the whites of the ceiling while his mind floated somewhere else. That day when they'd reached the roof, they weren't alone. There was a man. Black hoodie. Black mask. He'd pushed Richard off. He'd sent them the text. He was the one who'd killed Richard. Kai's jaw flexed and tightened and he sat up again.

"This isn't right," he repeated.

"Well damn Sherlock," Dante said. "What do you want to do, then? Tell the police? We've kept quiet about it for a month and we are of legal age. We'll be doomed."

"We need to do something, we can't just stay here wallowing knowing that our friend was murdered!"

The silence that followed was terrible. Kai's head ached, and he felt clammy underneath his yellow hoodie. The floor-length mirror in the room's corner made the bags under his eyes look weary and tired and the small silver ear piercings look unnecessary. He ran a hand through the messy black strands of his hair and turned to look at Samaira.

"You are the sensible one. Do you think this is right?"

Samaira turned to face them after five hours of ignoring their existence. The look she gave him was tired, it made something inside him drop. They had all been so close and now there was nothing they could manage to tell each other, nothing they could manage to say. They were all dealing with Richard's death in different ways; Filippa had started smoking again and Dante quit the Basketball team, Samaira worked herself to the bone and Kai? He was just hanging in there, not fully there to the conclusion but enough to feel the empty worry in his heart.

He hated feeling helpless. And he hated the words that came out of Samaira's mouth next. "Kai, go back. Take a break. Just, go cool off somewhere."

For a minute, he said nothing. Then the anger came bubbling out. He stood up and walked to the door silently, ignoring Dante's quiet refusal. When he got out, he made sure to bang the door as loudly as he could despite horrible pain of protest shooting up his palms in the process. (He'd hurt himself last week and still didn't know how.)

"Goddamn my life―" he yelled, "Goddamn everything―"

Someone coughed. Tension shot up his spine. This was the Girl's Dorm and he, a boy, had just caused a scene. He looked up to find half-dressed girls in pajamas and turned away instantly. His insides turned to melted nothings and his eyes scrammed for another pace to latch on to. The board, he thought. Look at the notice board.

"I'm sorry," someone giggled. "But you should probably leave."

He probably should.

Kai apologized under his breath and tried to navigate past the corridor to the staircases without raising his eyes. Almost tripping on a few bottles of only God knew what, he made it to the stairwell and plopped against the opening. The girl's dorm and the boy's dorm of students majoring in Fashion were located in the same stretch of suburban apartment buildings. At least he thought they were suburban apartment buildings. Eight stories high and painted in funky blues and greens with random graffiti on every nook and corner outside while decorating the interior with rouge bricks and black plastic for an industrial look, the house dormitories were made to hold about five hundred students. Each flat was just a large bedroom with two beds, two desks and a kitchenette―not like home but just enough to be one.

The boy's side was separated from the girl's one by nothing but a small lobby on the first floor and a wall made above it to divide it from the other.

"Throw a tantrum somewhere else, you little bitch."

Kai turned to find Dante strolling down the set of stairs taking two at a time. His hands were shoved inside the pocket of his grey pyjamas and the oversized grey hoodie hid the fair tuft of his hair. He looked like shit but still managed to look good at it. Kai bit a smile threatening to let loose and forced himself to look away.

"Look, if you're here to tell me to get over―"

"I'm not, idiot," Dante smiled. "Let's get some bread."

"It's five in the evening."

"So what?"

Dante moved forward and Kai followed him, a heavy hole in his chest sewing itself shut in a place where it could hurt only him. They were outside in five seconds, nodding at Manuel who was dozing off by the receiver's desk. The campus was crowded with students; the sky was light―he wasn't sure what they called it but it was in the lightest shade of orange. Sunlight leaked in through little crevices between the artsy buildings around the boulevard and cut through the leaves between each green trees and plants in nets. Dante was waiting for him in silence, sitting on the ledge before the neatly cut bushes that framed the park.

Kai sat by him, waiting for him to speak.

"It isn't easy for any of us, you know. Richard is gone, and it isn't just another day―I don't remember one damned day when it wasn't the five of us. He was always there, even when we didn't talk, even when we weren't around each other, even when I was an asshole and he was an asshole―he was always there. I don't expect you to understand what Richard meant to me―"

"I do," Kai said because he did.

Richard wasn't the talkative kind. He wasn't the happy kind or the sad kind. He was the kind of person who'd sit by you in silence to let you know he was there for you with his actions instead of words, the kind who'd leave the last piece of his favourite sandwich for you even if he hadn't had the other slices himself. Richard had saved them so many times―had saved Kai so many times―that it hurt to think that just when their turn came, they'd been a second too late.

"Yes," Dante said. "Maybe you do."

"I do and I―we should have helped him, he's been there for us so many times," Kai's words got caught in his throat and he reared back, eyes burning and fingers palmed in a fist. He'd wanted to do something. Something. Something that would've led to a different ending other than the one they were faced with now, something that would've led to Richard being alive and safe and there.

"We've all got things we can never recover from and we've all got things that we carry with us forever." Dante stretched back, hands on either side of him and feet scrapping the cobble. "Life is never your story to tell."

Kai just stared straight ahead at the entrance to their dormitory, at a group of friends chilling on the steps leading out of it. There were five of them, just like they had once been five too. The blond boy in the middle said something and the brunette sitting by him laughed―Filippa and Richard. Kai closed his eyes. "I don't know," he said, burying his face in his hands. "I don't know."

That's when Dante's phone rang. Filippa. Unfortunately for them, when taking the call, Dante put it on the speaker for both of them to hear. Filippa was screaming, and it was never pretty when she screamed. She had one of the foulest mouths in the year and her temper tantrums usually included loud one-sided declarations to 'fight her.' The students walking past them stared at the phone in their hand and then at them and Kai realised they were probably dressed like homeless jocks, instantly feeling the embarrassment rise up his spine as blood rushed to his cheeks.

"GUYS―I AM GOING TO END THAT TRICK ASS FUCKING BITCH―HOW DARE SHE TRY ME? HOW DARE SHE―"

"Yo calm down woman―" Dante half-grinned. "Who are you talking about?"

"DARCY FUCKING VAMIR," Filippa's voice grew more shrill, like that was even possible. "THAT BITCH MADE MY GIRLFRIEND BREAK UP WITH ME."

tagging: @astorsa , @inkingfireplace , @jugularss , @etheriiums , @vviciously , @nepeinthe , @vigilantscar , @sapphicsyn , @windswiftcupid , @modeans3 , @agnodice-writes , @liarede , @wherearethecrabs , @nemowritesstuff , @semblanche , @waterfallofinkandpages , @maskedlady , @margswrites , @vandorens , @cafisky , @crimeofmine , @notquitenovelist , @isaakandreyevs @books-of-lunacy , @llesbianwrites , @doevell , @thechapelscrow , @xnmasked , @crypticsx , @thatsadwriter , @where-the-sky-writes , @latrantem , @drewdropps , @noxstories , @writing-instead-of-fighting @elliewritesstories , @kaatiba (to be added and message to be removed. find me and the whole darcy, darcy content on my wattpad!)

#i read every single tag on the reblogs #AND ALL OF YOU ARE SO #NICE #SERIOUSLY HMU WHENEVER #here's another trashy update #* wip: darcy.

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sondepoch · 4 years

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V: Neutral Route (Saeran)

Where Futures Begin

Life used to be simple for you. Peaceful. But the Savior had other plans for you, and in moments, she ruined what you thought was your one shot at happiness. Blinded by anger, you escaped the Mint Eye, but that triggered a series of events that would bring you further into the world of brothers Saeran and Saeyoung. And further into the twisted world of your love for them.

Neutral Route: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | ✔

Saeyoung’s Route: 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | ✔

Saeran’s Route: 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | ✔

MASTERLIST

Saeran made sure he was gone when (Y/N) woke up.

For one, his shirt had somehow ridden up all the way up her body so that when he woke up, he practically had a full view of the girl's naked form. He kept his eyes away from her undergarments, but knew that if (Y/N) woke up and saw what a compromised position she was in, it would have been incredibly awkward for the two of them.

Well, that was a lie. He told it to himself to feel a little better when (Y/N) whined in her sleep as he pried himself from her arms.

The real reason was the crude pang he felt at seeing her bleached hair. It made something inside twist with resentment and sin. Self-directed, of course.

He gazed at (Y/N)'s sleeping form, her expression neutral but her features diluted by the processes from the prior month, a constant reminder of how he pulled the (h/c) from her locks, how he sucked the (e/c) from her irises, how he showed her a world of pain that not even the primary commitment could rival.

Saeran didn't feel worthy of (Y/N).

Shirtless, he scurried to his room and changed into the suit he was expected to be wearing at all times. Checking himself once in the mirror, he nodded at himself and headed straight down the hall.

Only one person would be able to help him when he felt like this.

MC.

The brown-haired girl was new, accepted into the Savior's council without pledging her primary or secondary commitments. Everyone on the council wondered why the Savior was making such an exception on this seemingly normal girl, but none dared to ask.

"May I come in?" Saeran asked, knocking at her door.

"Of course," A voice chimed in return, and Saeran opened the door to see MC dressed in her violet uniform. The dress she wore was pretty, no doubt. It hung at her knees, the fabric open and swaying with every movement she made; but as Saeran's eyes drank in the sight of her, he couldn't help but be reminded of the deliciously inviting garb (Y/N) had donned the previous night, a sight no woman would ever be able to rival in his eyes.

"You look nice," Saeran commented plainly, trying to be polite.

"You're too kind, Ray," MC giggled, a high pitched noise that felt unnatural to Saeran's ears. Still, being with her was better than being with (Y/N). At least he wasn't flooded with guilt every time he saw her.

"Shall we have breakfast?" She inquired, causing Saeran to hesitate.

MC had joined the council approximately twenty days into (Y/N)'s secondary commitment. Since then, she had always taken Saeran with her when heading down to the dining hall for breakfast. Seeing as (Y/N) wasn't permitted to leave the room, Saeran had seen no issue with accompanying MC every day.

Now that (Y/N) was back, though, Saeran wasn't too sure.

"I usually eat breakfast with (Y/N)," Saeran murmured, hesitant. He already felt so guilty and horrible for putting her through that month of torture, it would be even worse if he weren't there for her now that she had returned.

But MC wasn't having it. "So? Things change. She's been here longer than I have, she knows her way to the dining room. I don't. Let's go, Ray."

Saeran bit his lip. You should know the way by now, too, he thought, slightly vexed by MC's blatant refusal. "And besides," Saeran looked up as MC continued.

"You've already told me how you feel around her. If you want to stop feeling so guilty all the time, you need to stop spending time with the cause of your guilt." MC took a step toward Saeran, and Saeran resisted the urge to move backwards, "Forget about (Y/N), Saeran. You have me."

Before he could react, Saeran found himself being pulled out the door and down the hall as MC pulled him to their destination. Saeran turned MC's words over in his mind, inspecting them like a customer on the verge of buying something they were still hesitant about.

Saeran knew that he only felt guilty when he was around (Y/N). But after what he put her through, didn't he deserve to feel like crap for a little while? ...Then again, it wasn't his decision to be her handler for the secondary commitment, so why should he be punished for something he never wanted to do in the first place?

"Ray, which way?" MC asked as the two of them reached a hall crossing at the Mint Eye. Saeran removed himself from his thoughts and gestured to the right, now leading the way as they marched toward the dining hall. He walked with confidence, but his mind was elsewhere, not quite aware of his surroundings as he continued to think about (Y/N).

Avoiding her entirely was impossible. They would work together every day in the Security Room, and Saeran would need to show her how to do her job. Though, he supposed, that could be changed if he spoke with the Savior.

No! Saeran thought to himself, shaking his head as he realized what he was considering, I can't just start ignoring (Y/N)! It's bad enough that I put her through a month of torture, she'll be destroyed if she loses a friend in the process. Saeran chuckled bitterly, Yeah, because that's all I am to her. A friend.

Saeran sighed as he remembered what he had done on the fourth day of (Y/N)'s commitment. That kiss he had stolen...had it been her first? It certainly had been the last. Saeran had pulled back instantly, horrified at how he had betrayed the girl's trust.

The look of hurt and betrayal (Y/N) had shot him that day was still imprinted on his mind, an image weighing down on him with every step he took.

He deserved the guilt.

Saeran turned his head to the side and watched MC as she followed him. He never found himself fully able to relax around her the way he relaxed around (Y/N), something about the nasal tone in her voice always keeping him on edge. In every way, she was nothing compared to (Y/N), a mere shadow of the woman he truly loved in his heart.

But as he looked at MC, he felt nothing.

No love,and no admiration—but no guilt either.

And the guilt he felt every time he gazed into (Y/N)'s forgiving eyes was going to kill him if he kept hanging out with her.

"We should eat together every day," Saeran found himself saying before he had registered the words, "From now on, I mean."

MC smiled brightly, her eyes dazzling like the moon at his words. Saeran suppressed the thought that if hers eyes dazzled like the moon, (Y/N)'s glistened like a thousand stars.

"That's perfect, Ray!" MC took a step closer, grabbing onto Saeran's arm in a way that only (Y/N) had ever done before. Saeran pulled away, the grip seeming to suffocate him, but MC didn't let go. "See, it's easy to move on from (Y/N). In no time at all, you won't be feeling any guilt at all, and you'll be completely happy again!"

Saeran looked from MC, to the floor, to the door to the dining hall that now stood in front of them.

He really, really hoped MC was right.

***

The atmosphere in the Security Room was tense, to say the least. (Y/N) had her face set in a firm scowl as she worked, only opening her mouth to talk about the work Saeran gave her and shooting down Saeran's first two attempts at starting casual conversation.

He was currently trying to engage her in a third attempt.

"So, how was your morning?" He asked awkwardly, half of him not expecting an answer.

"Good. Really good. You know the best part?" (Y/N) murmured, her fingers not slowing as they danced across the keyboard while she typed code, "Waking up an hour early so I could spend time with you, only to realize you had ditched me and left for breakfast with MC."

Saeran swallowed. Hard. He wasn't sure if he preferred working in angry silence to this or not.

"That was our thing, Saeran. Or do you not care anymore? Did you only stay with me last night out of pity? Was that supposed to be some sort of apology for being my handler during my second commitment?"

Saeran hesitated to answer, not sure if (Y/N) was just ranting or if she wanted an actual response.

When she didn't say anything further, he opened his mouth. "I..."

Only then did he realize he had nothing to say.

What was he doing with MC? Why had he asked her of all people to continue eating breakfast with him?

Saeran peeked at (Y/N) through the corner of his eye, and then he remembered.

Despite the room being dark, (Y/N)'s bleached white hair was bright as ever, pretty as it hung loose on her shoulders. The girl's eyes were drilling holes into the monitor screen, no longer a soft (e/c) but forever cursed to be a striking mint green instead.

Saeran's stomach churned as he stared at her, feeling sick to his stomach when he recalled what she once looked like and what he had turned her into.

He pulled his gaze back to the screen and stared straight ahead. How pathetic. He couldn't even look at her.

"I'm sorry," He murmured, breathing out shakily.

He didn't tell (Y/N) what he was apologizing for, the words too emotional for him to ever bring past his lips. How could he? He wasn't a master interpreter of feelings, he didn't know how else to handle the situation. I'm sorry, (Y/N), he thought to himself, knowing that his decision was made. He couldn't be around her anymore. He couldn't talk to her anymore. He could barely look at her anymore without a swarm of guilt and regret and self-hatred encompassing all his senses. The worst part was, he deserved it. So there was only one thing left to do.

Run from the problem.

I'm sorry, (Y/N), Saeran thought as he closed his eyes, resigning himself to the fact that he wouldn't, couldn't, have her. He knew, with time, that he would be able to accept that reality. After all, he had MC. And while MC wasn't (Y/N), she was...charming in a different way. Perhaps he could love her the way he loved (Y/N)?

He heard the click-click of (Y/N)'s keyboard slow until he could tell she had finally stopped typing. Through the corner of his eye, he saw her figure turn to face him, but not a muscle in Saeran's body obeyed his will to turn and meet her eyes.

"Saeran," (Y/N) whispered, her voice soft enough to be caught in the tangle of wires separating their feet. Saeran wanted to turn to her. Face her. Hug her. Hold her. But his body refused to move. "Fine. Be that way."

The typing resumed on her keyboard and (Y/N) directed her attention back to her work. Saeran sighed to himself, gazing at the code he was writing to reinforce the security around the Mint Eye. He didn't deserve a girl like (Y/N).

Our friendship will never be the same again, he thought, regretting not fighting the Savior's decision to make him (Y/N)'s secondary commitment handler. His only hope of friendship was now MC.

And it's my fault, he thought, too blind to see that (Y/N) wanted him as much as he wanted her, too desperate to realize that turning to MC would only further wreck himself, too foolish to know that, by choosing MC over (Y/N) for such a stupid reason, he had shredded his best chance at happiness.

MASTERLIST

Neutral Route: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | ✔

Saeyoung’s Route: 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | ✔

Saeran’s Route: 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | ✔

Word count: 2.1k

Notes: Welp, the next chapter brings us into Saeyoung/luciel/707's main arc! Ngl, I'm looking forward to that :) I've actually prewritten a decent amount in this book so that I can continue to update twice a week, so, just looking ahead, I can tell you guys that the next chapter is where this fic really begins to pick up so I hope you guys are looking forward to that as much as I am! :)

Comment & Like

Next Update: 1/16/20

I do not own the rights to Mystic Messenger or any of the characters within it.

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sage-nebula · 5 years

Text

I binged season two of Aggretsuko over the span of a couple days, and thought of course I really enjoyed it (though I think I might have enjoyed the first season a tiny bit more), I at first didn’t have too much to say about it. However, the popular topic at the moment seems to be Tadano and his treatment of Retsuko, and I wanted to post my thoughts since I can’t really bring myself to agree with either of the popular takes at the moment, mostly because I feel they’re both too extreme on either side of the divide. In other words, I don’t see Tadano as completely innocent and incapable of manipulation, but I also don’t see him as a malicious and definitively abusive partner to Retsuko, either.

Further analysis beneath the cut.

As noted above, the two popular takes I’ve seen regarding Tadano have been:

Tadano only wanted what was best for Retsuko and he never did anything to compromise that (usually served with a side of blaming Retsuko for not speaking up sooner) or

Tadano was manipulative, creepy, and borderline abusive and it’s good Retsuko got out of there when she did

While these are the two most popular takes that I’ve seen, the truth is, in my opinion, a blend of the two. Tadano did have some manipulative behaviors (particularly with one line in particular, which I’ll get to in a moment), but I don’t believe that his manipulation was entirely conscious, nor do I think it came from a place of malice. Instead, I think it came from a place of desperate loneliness, and the desire to keep the happy little bubble that he and Retsuko had going in tact for as long as possible.

Tadano is an interesting character not for his political views or for the fact that he’s a love interest, but rather because he truly is as much a failure (harsh though that word may be) as he is a success. Retsuko and the audience learn through the course of the season that Tadano is, in fact, not unemployed, nor is he poor; instead, he’s a very wealthy tech visionary who is revolutionizing the world of artificial intelligence, and has aspirations to overturn the economic system as we know it. But although Tadano is (at least thus far) a successful businessman in his field, he is also living out of his limousine . . . and is completely alone.

At no point throughout the series do we see Tadano have a meaningful connection with another character, apart from perhaps ENI-O, which is an A.I. that Tadano himself invented. He has a driver, but he and the driver barely talk; the driver spends most of his time playing a game in the front seat, while Tadano sleeps in the back. ENI-O monitors Tadano’s health and keeps track of his appointments (/makes the appointments), but it doesn’t really seem to have a personality despite being an artificial intelligence, and isn’t really one for conversation. Tadano doesn’t have any other business partners; he didn’t choose Retsuko’s company himself and as such doesn’t have any connections there; and the fact that it’s ENI-O that he’s returning “home” to after the breakup (in contrast to Retsuko) speaks volumes about who he has in his life. Retsuko cries to Gori and Washimi after the breakup. Tadano . . . just has his A.I. It doesn’t seem like he has any friends or family to return to after the breakup.

So, enter Retsuko. Tadano instantly jumps at the chance to talk to her at the driving school because he noticed that she was about his age. Note that this is something that Retsuko had noticed about him as well, but it wasn’t enough to prompt her to approach him, possibly because she has others (e.g. Gori, Washimi, Fenneko, Haida) in her life that she can talk to. But for Tadano, who seems pretty isolated and alone, seeing another adult at the driving school (someone his age who also didn’t have what is considered a basic skill for those their age) was exciting enough to strike up a conversation. He starts calling her by a familiar nickname (“Re-chan” / “Retsy”), even though in Japanese such a thing is usually reserved for close friends. Retsuko doesn’t call him on this (though it would have been perfectly acceptable for her to), which is fine, but the more important point here is that making acquaintances (because they weren’t even friends yet, really!) with Retsuko at the driving school was enough for Tadano to feel like she was enough of a friend that he wanted to use a friendly nickname with her. One could argue that perhaps he’s just a nickname-y guy, but at the moment we can’t really make that argument because we don’t see him use nicknames for anyone else . . . because we don’t see him interact with anyone else in a friendly manner. For all that people claim that Haida’s character was reduced to pining over Retsuko, it’s worth it to note that Haida still maintained past relationships (e.g. with Fenneko) in this series, and forged new ones as well (e.g. Anai, Gori, Washimi). Tadano, on the other hand, was completely isolated apart from how he latched onto Retsuko pretty much immediately, going so far as to leap out of his limo in the middle of a traffic jam to run up to and strike up conversation with her when he saw her on the sidewalk.

So for possibly the first time in his life (or at least the first time in a long while), Tadano has a connection with another person his own age, and it’s someone that he finds likable and fun, at that. She’s interested in spending time with him, just as he’s interested in spending time with her, and so he pursues it . . . as much as he pursues anything else he likes, which is about 50%. Because as Tadano himself says when he explains to Retsuko what he meant when he said he was just “fooling around” with work:

“If you take something you enjoy seriously . . . it becomes a full-time job.”

As a side note, I think this is the real reason Tadano is against the idea of marriage. Everything he says about it being “pointless” and “unnecessary,” while arguably true (my feelings on the subject slide closer to what he said versus what Retsuko would want), is just a logical-sounding excuse to hide the fact that, in reality, Tadano has commitment issues. He doesn’t commit himself fully to ENI-O or the work he does because he doesn’t want his work to feel like work. He enjoys it, and he wants to keep enjoying it, so he treats it like a hobby instead of a job. Similarly, Tadano enjoyed hanging out with Retsuko. He wanted to hang out with her forever. Marrying her would be taking their relationship seriously, which he didn’t want, because in his mind that would make it feel like work (and in a way, it is; relationships do take work to maintain). Therefore, he was against the concept of marriage, even though not budging on that subject cost him the relationship he so cherished.

But that’s a bit off the subject.

Back on subject: Tadano did cherish the time he spent with Retsuko. As he himself told her, he wished that they could stay together (read: hanging out) forever. The thing is, I believe that Tadano meant that in a slightly different way than Retsuko did, and not just with regards to marriage. Retsuko was fine with not spending every moment with Tadano because, again, she had other things going on in her life: She had her job, she had her friends, and she even had her overbearing mother. But although Tadano does have his work with ENI-O, again, he doesn’t have those other people in his life. All he has is Retsuko. And for a guy who has been very lonely for possibly a very long time, suddenly having someone to spend time with like that is probably like finding a warm blanket in a blizzard. Metaphorically speaking, he grabbed Retsuko and never wanted to let her go. Not in a commitment way, mind you---again, he doesn’t want to take the things he enjoys seriously!---but in a “let’s spend every second together” kind of way.

And here’s where the manipulation comes in.

After the article is published and the online harassment starts, Retsuko starts staying in Tadano’s limo (which, remember, is also his home given that, limo or not, the man is literally living in his car because his commitment issues apparently run so deep he can’t even commit to an apartment). Retsuko, of course, is super upset by the turn of events, which is probably why she’s choosing to stay with him, given that being with him at least affords her some comfort (given that she thinks they’re going to get married). As for Tadano . . . of course he doesn’t want Retsuko to be upset, but at the same time it would likely be wrong to say that he’s at all upset by the idea of her staying with him in his limo. In fact, he is probably thrilled. This is why, though he does ask her if she’s all right when she doesn’t respond to the first thing he says, he takes her “oh yes, I’m fine!” as truth, even though her body language clearly says otherwise. Yes, Retsuko could have been more honest . . . but:

It’s somewhat of a cultural thing in Japan to not complain unless the issue is Very Important, because you don’t want to seem a burden;

Retsuko was curled up on the car seat, faced away from him, wrapped in a blanket, not really responding to what he said. It’s pretty obvious she was lying, even without being in her head;

Even if her body language didn’t make it obvious, anyone who knows Retsuko even a bit knows that she tends to bottle things up, even if they don’t know how she eventually lets it all out; Tadano not picking up on that (particularly if it wasn’t him willfully not picking up on it, which I believe it was, even if subconsciously) goes to show how little the two really do know each other at this point.

So whether Retsuko could have been more honest or not, the fact that Tadano didn’t so much as ask “are you sure?” after she said she was fine speaks volumes. Instead, he dismisses her obvious upset as, “That’s Re-chan for you” with a little smile and goes back to work. Now, as I said, whether this is Tadano willfully not picking up on the fact that Retsuko is upset (i.e. he can tell but is choosing not to pursue it) or whether he just honestly doesn’t notice doesn’t change the fact that it makes their relationship look bad. Either he doesn’t know her well enough to tell, or he can tell and would rather not push because this works out in his favor. There is no positive outlook on their relationship here. But while I do not think that Tadano has malicious ulterior motives, I do think he was purposefully ignoring the fact that Retsuko was upset---not because he doesn’t care about her feelings, but because she’s here, with him, for the foreseeable future, and he’d rather like to keep it that way.

And this brings us to the uncomfortable line of dialogue I mentioned at the start of this post, the one that first jumped out at me as a red flag. This line comes from later in the final episode, when Retsuko has missed work for several days and is still staying in Tadano’s limo with him. At the start of the scene, Tadano asks Retsuko if she’s worried about missing work. Retsuko says that she is, a little. And that’s when Tadano says this:

“Don’t force yourself. If you go back now, they will all talk behind your back.”

I’m using the Netflix subtitles here, but while I would need to double-check this with my friend who is fluent in Japanese (particularly because Tadano’s speech is a bit hard for me to parse), but that first sentence sounds less to me like “don’t force yourself” and more like “don’t be” --- as in, “don’t be worried” rather than “take it easy,” if that makes sense. Like Retsuko confirms that she is worried about missing work, and Tadano tells her she shouldn’t be---and then he tells her why.

And it’s how he tells her why that strikes up a red flag for me, though again, I don’t think it’s Tadano being maliciously controlling or possessive.

Tadano tells Retsuko that if she returns to work now, everyone will talk about her behind her back. Setting aside the logical flaws (won’t they be talking about her behind her back right now? wouldn’t they talk about her behind her back if she returned several days from now?), the reason Tadano gives Retsuko about why she shouldn’t be worried about work is not that she dislikes it (that comes up later when he’s pressuring her to quit), but rather that everyone there will talk about her behind her back, i.e., her fellow employees will be against her. Tadano is including Retsuko’s friends, such as Fenneko, Haida, Gori, and Washimi in this. Not specifically---it’s doubtful he even knows their names---but he says they will all, meaning he’s including everyone in her workplace. They’ll all be against her, they’ll all talk about her behind her back, so she should stay there, in the limo, with him. Despite how he told Retsuko to dismiss the internet backlash in just the previous episode because all they had was baseless slander and “the number of flamers is fewer than you think,” here Tadano is making it clear that the gossip will definitely be a problem if Retsuko returns to work now. Therefore, she shouldn’t. Tadano is playing on Retsuko’s anxiety and insecurity to motivate her to not go to work and instead stay there in his limo for him, waiting for him to return whenever he has to go to a business meeting (at her company!), and hanging out with him whenever he doesn’t.

Now, again, as I said before, I don’t think Tadano is doing this maliciously. I don’t think that he’s consciously thinking up ways to manipulate, control, or possess Retsuko. But I do think that by this point in the season, Tadano has become so excited at the idea of hanging out with Retsuko full-time that he’s rushing into it full throttle, using everything he can in order to get her to stay with him. This is shown to us by how he not only suggests to her that she quit her job, but also pushes forward into her space as he suggests it:

Being a visual medium, Aggretsuko uses more than just character dialogue to show us character intention and motivation. The fact that Tadano is so passionate about the idea of Retsuko quitting her job to be with him that he actually gets up from his seat, puts a hand on the car seat next to her, and leans in so that their faces are only a couple inches apart, is meant to show us just how gung-ho he is about this, how he’s throwing everything he has into it, as much or perhaps more than he ever does. Even though Tadano is usually pretty laid back (illustrated by how I believe this is the first and perhaps only time he pushes into Retsuko’s space like this), he isn’t laid back, not about this. And make no mistake, although he tells Retsuko that she can start her own business or do whatever she wants to do, he also doesn’t let his true motivations go unspoken in this scene:

Not via marriage, mind you, because that’s taking it seriously, and taking it seriously means work. But still, if Retsuko never has to go to work, and if she lives in his limo, then they can hang out and be together all the time. It’s the ideal solution in Tadano’s mind. It would make him super happy, and Retsuko says she’s happy (and is smiling, even if forced), and he can go along with and believe that, so everything will be better and their future will be “so much better.” If Tadano doesn’t take their relationship too seriously, then he doesn’t have to think too hard about whether Retsuko is being honest with her smiles or not. If Tadano doesn’t take their relationship too seriously, they can stay as they have been. It can be fun hangout times forever. That’s what he wants, and at this point he’s willing to say or do what he has to in order to keep it . . .

. . . but as we all know, it doesn’t work out.

I think that Tadano’s desperation really shone through during the scene in the karaoke room, in the build-up to Retsuko’s song. Before she turns on the music, he doesn’t give her a chance to respond to one excuse before he throws out another: Marriage isn’t essential to their relationship, marriage doesn’t guarantee eternal love, social status is an empty expression, marriage isn’t part of the future he’s laying out, and she should think about whether marriage is really that important. Once Retsuko says that it is important to her, and the music starts, Tadano becomes even more desperate, his voice rising, his speech becoming faster, his expressions becoming more wild as they finally start to have a back and forth dialogue:

Tadano: “It’s fine as long as we’re together!” Retsuko: “No, it’s not.” Tadano: “Don’t you trust me?!” Retsuko: “I do.” Tadano: “Then why . . . ?!” Retsuko: “I want to marry you, Tadano-kun.” Tadano: “Marriage is an illusion!” Retsuko: “I . . . want that illusion.”

That first line is Tadano expressing what it is that he truly wants: He just wants them to stay together, forever---not married, not committed and serious like that, but together. When Retsuko says that it’s not fine so long as they’re together, Tadano assumes that she must be worried about him cheating (and in his mind, likely thinks marriage would prevent that), hence the “don’t you trust me?” line, which she again rebukes. By the time he gets to “marriage is an illusion,” he looks truly upset---but that’s also when Retsuko’s song starts, and there isn’t much more to say after that, as he finally gets the message.

The fact that Tadano does get the message and leaves, alone, after their breakup speaks to what kind of person he is. If he were truly controlling and possessive, I think that he would have said or done anything---even lying about marriage, perhaps even going through with it if that’s what it took to keep Retsuko---in order to prevent her breaking up with him. But once he realized that Retsuko could not and would not be happy hanging out with him forever (and perhaps that not even he could pull the wool over his own eyes enough to make himself believe she was, especially if she wasn’t going to fake it anymore) he let her go. Tadano isn’t a cruel person. He’s not an abusive person. And I don’t think that he’s intentionally, or maliciously, a manipulative person. However . . .

I think that, at the end of the day, Tadano is a very lonely person who, perhaps, does not have a lot of experience with relationships, even platonically. I think it’s entirely possible, perhaps even likely, that he didn’t really have romantic feelings for Retsuko, or at least not in the same way that she did for him. Retsuko was looking for a boyfriend, but I think that at the end of the day, what Tadano really wanted was a friend---a best friend, even. He was fine with being Retsuko’s boyfriend if it meant they could get ramen together and hang out in his limo. He wasn’t interestd in the whole romance aspect of it as much as he was interested in the companionship and friendship. The thing is, Retsuko has friends and companions, and so she wants a different kind of relationship---one that Tadano, quite honestly, is probably not ready to provide.

I think what Tadano needs, before he can pursue a romance like this, is just . . . more friends, honestly. More experience in social circles that aren’t about promoting his software. Someone to talk to who isn’t an A.I. that he created. I think that friendship with Retsuko was good for that reason, but I think both of them approached the relationship from very different places, they didn’t know each other very well at all (Retsuko was jumping the gun with the whole marriage thing, but I think in her mind she just wanted marriage to be a someday thing, not a right-then-and-there thing, and it was just poorly explained), and as such they couldn’t quite be what the other needed. (Well, it’s not healthy to keep a friend full time in your limo either, but that’s why Tadano needs multiple friends that he can interact with regularly, not just the one. Also maybe an apartment. That limo is nice, but I don’t believe it has a shower. Seriously, get over your commitment issues enough to at least get an apartment, Tadano, please.) I think at this stage it’s too early for them to be Just Friends, because they’re both pretty hurt by the breakup, but perhaps someday, once they’ve both moved on, they can get there. And then Retsuko can properly introduce Tadano to her friends, and perhaps they can become his friends, too.

But in the meantime, what I leave you all with is this:

Tadano is not a malicious, abusive person. However, I think that his social isolation and probable lack of relationship experience of all kinds has left him unequipped to deal with a romantic relationship in a healthy and balanced way at the moment. For all that Retsuko was jumping the gun with marriage, Tadano latched onto her arguably more quickly. Tadano was manipulative toward Retsuko near the end, though it again was not out of malice (and was more out of tunnel vision on his own ideals and desires, and willful ignorance toward Retsuko’s feelings), and that is not okay no matter the reason or intention, but I think that since he’s not a malicious person by nature, he could learn how to better handle relationships with more (platonic) experience, which would leave him better equipped to try romance again with someone else in the future should he so choose.

TL;DR:

Tadano is not a monster, but he’s not an angel, either. He’s flawed, like pretty much every other character in the series, and I hope for his sake that he masters at least some of the commitment issues soon, and gets some non-A.I. friends in his life, because goddamn, he needs them.

#aggretsuko #tadano #aggretsuko tadano #aggretsuko spoilers #meta #i can't believe i wrote this much about a pastel donkey but here we are

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