#eldest daughters

[nashira]

"The Philippines is the 169th country with the highest suicide rate, with 2.2 suicides per 100,000 people."

[ceruleanharley]

happy fathers day to all the eldest daughters

[spaceshipkat]

being an eldest daughter means feeling like even when you’ve had a bad day you’re not allowed to have a bad day and you’re especially not allowed to talk about it bc if you have a bad day who is gonna help the people in your family who also had a bad day but think they’re the only ones who ever have bad days they’re allowed to talk about

[manicpixie-memegirls]

I feel so called out 😭

[givemeureyes]

happy father’s day to eldest daughters. oh and like, markiplier

[iconwannabe]

i think younger siblings are so used to having someone navigate things for them that the moment you leave them for awhile they almost feel offended by tHE EVENTS OF LIFE?????

[detectivechen]

[summersunbean]

happy mother's day to the eldest daughters.

the ones doing as much if not more emotional labor than their parents. raising their siblings when their parents are too busy. making sure Mom has something to open on Christmas, or getting her a card on her birthday because no one else will. being the one to get a 'from all of us' gift and share the credit with your siblings.

we do a lot to parent our siblings and our parents, and since we were just kids ourselves that wasn't fair. a 7 year old shouldn't have to worry about money, or worry if Mom is happy on Christmas because her stocking is the only one left empty unless you fill it. the heartache of seeing your mother cry and knowing if you aren't there for her, no one is.

happy mother's day to those who never asked to be mothers, but had to be anyway. i see you and i love you.

[werewolftransjenderism]

*Warning this is a bit of a trauma dump*

When I see people on here talk about the parentification of eldest daughters/older sisters taking care of their siblings, and these things being common enough that lots of people relate, it's wild to me because my experience with an older sister was so different. For me, having an older sister was (and is tbh) like being bullied by a "popular girl" at school except she lives with you and it doesn't stop when you graduate. And there was no one to ask for help because my mom was the same. As we've gotten older she's told me she views it as "helping me" and says she wishes she had an older sister to do the same for her. The worst part is, she now works with autistic kids and you'd think she'd make the connection that the very same traits she made fun of me for are autistic ones, but no!! She's getting married and I'm going to be her "maid" of honor and I am DREADING IT.

[mainapnifavouritehoon]

the eldest daughter urge to seek help by saying "no, im okay. I don't need help"

[thewolfinsideyourheart]

In this picture: my mother and me, while my father, completely dissociated from reality, pretends not to see or hear or notice the gaslighting and psychological abuse I'm enduring since my early teenage years.

[chocolatecake47]

Dear world, 

Why are you so cruel to us eldest daughters? Why do you make us carry so many burdens? Why do you make us be the sole caretakers of our mothers, even when they hurt us? Why do you make it the wrong reaction whether we shut up or scream? Why do we have to hold so much just to exist? Why have you screwed over the women before us so they keep passing it along? Why have you taught the men before us its okay to keep treating us this way? Why do you make our families relish and shame our downfalls even though they need us? Why do we always have to sacrifice and care for our younger siblings, the children we didn't choose to have. Why are we never good enough no matter what we do? Why is everything always our job, our responsibility, our fault? Why do we care so much when it only continues to hurt us? Why does no one acknowledge the pain, the hardship, the burdens on our shoulders alone to keep everything together?

Why world, why do you make it so hard for eldest daughters to just, be? 

[spaceshipkat]

if there's one thing that every eldest daughter needs it's a friend who's an eldest daughter so one can simply say "being the eldest daughter ftw" and trust that They Will Get It

[eldestdaughtersunite]

The thing about having responsibilities piled on you on a young age is that eventually those responsibilities become part of your identity in your own mind, so that if you relinquish those responsibilities and they aren’t handled then you feel like a failure.

Even/especially if those responsibilities include things that are completely unachievable or out of your control, like the emotional stability of everyone in the family.

So to make sure everyone is happy you start piling additional tasks and responsibilities on yourself, without someone else telling you to. And then eventually you get to a point where you’re like “hey, what the hell, why am I doing ALL OF THIS, this is too much and not sustainable.”

But you keep doing all the things because the alternative—other people in the family being Not Okay—is actually harder for you to deal with.

This sounds even more dysfunctional typed out than it did in my head.

[luvalsworld]

a canon event for every oldest daughter is being told “you would be a good lawyer”

[iconwannabe]

oh do i like listening to people's problems and trying to solve them or is it just that I'm the eldest daughter in the family