#elena gilbert meta

[dragonlands]

Elena Gilbert stops being boring the moment you stop viewing tvd as romance and start viewing it as a gothic horror of an underage girl groomed into an incestous love triangle between two serial killing brothers.

Her parents are dead and she only finds comfort in graveyards, her thoughts are filled with death. Then she meets these guys who CANNOT DIE and she even canonically says that's what drew her to Stefan (and let's be honest it's exactly the same with Damon). These older men want to protect her and they desire her obsessively and they form a weird, weird little family dynamic where Elena is constantly treated like a child. Elena latches onto these guys who don't only fill the role of boyfriends but also the role of parents. How she acceps the role as daughter/lover/victim of the Salvatore brothers could be fascinating if the narrative acknowledged it for what it is - horror.

[hyperactivewhore]

How do people say Caroline would get hate from her friends if she started a romance with Klaus when literally none of them cared to know they fucked.

Damon made fun of it with literally anyone but never gave her a hard time about it, Stefan literally took her side and Elena only worried about Tyler, her only concern was to know if he was aware that his ex girlfriend and the man who murdered his mother had slept together.

They didn't care at all.

[andreal831]

TVDU and forced parenthood

I don't know if it is because Julie Plec didn't understand parenthood or just didn't care, but almost every character has a messed up relationship with the idea of parenthood.

Starting with Rebekah, whose entire identity becomes about being a mother. When she is first introduced, she behaves like an immature teenager with almost no maternal instincts or desires. But it quickly shifts in TO to focus on her desire to have a child. I am completely fine with a woman wanting to have children, but she never gave a real reason to want it. Just this general idea that she had always desired it. I get she likely would have been thinking about it when she was human since, during their human period, women tended to have children in their teen years and it was what all women did. But throughout her 1,000 years, we never see her seek that relationship with anyone. She briefly develops a protective relationship with April and then Davina, but they are easily pushed aside. She even abandons her relationship with Hope multiple times. It never seemed to me that she wanted to be a parent, rather wanted a baby.

This is even more obvious by the fact that Klaus 'adopts' Marcel. Rebekah could have adopted a child, or taken in someone throughout her long life. Now, it could have been that she feared Klaus would be angry and jealous, but this story is never shown. In fact, Klaus seems fine with Rebekah training Marcel, even after he was jealous of Elijah teaching him.

Speaking of Marcel, this whole storyline was problematic. The Mikaelsons take in this boy and then make him feel indebted to them. I've seen people argue that they didn't adopt Marcel, but rather took him in as a ward. Either way you look at it, Marcel was a child and deserved to be treated like one and not some trophy (a lot of white saviorism happening). I do think Elijah wanted to raise Marcel as a son but Klaus wouldn't let him. So instead, Klaus raises him as a friend which created a complicated relationship. I also hate how you can clearly see the difference in how Hope is protected versus how Marcel was raised. Whether it's sexist or racist or just based on him not being their biological family, it's problematic.

And then there is Hope. Hayley will always be my favorite parent in TVDU. Even when she was young and overwhelmed, you could tell her thoughts and actions were all about protecting Hope. Yes, some things she did weren't the smartest plan, but she was also a scared 20-something-year-old trying to survive against enemies that were 1000x her age. She risked her life repeatedly for her daughter and would sacrifice anything for Hope to be safe and happy. She was the one character I felt truly understood what it meant to be a parent.

I always get in trouble when I criticize Klaus as a parent, but he was a narcissistic parent for 90% of the show and that honestly needs its own post.

It's not surprising the Mikaelsons don't know how to be parents. Mikael wanted to train them to be warriors and Esther had a similar feel to Rebekah, that she wanted babies but didn't know how to be a mother. I know Esther and Mikael likely had their own childhood traumas, but that's another conversation.

I liked that Kol and Davina never discussed children. Davina was young and Kol never expressed desires to be a father. Not everyone needs to want to have children. To me, Elijah was the only Mikaelson sibling who expressed a deeper interest in being a parent. Yet, he still didn't understand the full extent. He essentially acted like a parent to his siblings but ended up just having messed up relationships with each of them. He wanted to step in with Marcel and even Hope. I like to think he learned his lesson from Marcel and fought harder for Hope, but again, the whole family just fought harder for Hope.

I also think Freya having a child makes sense, but Vincent being the father had me baffled. He hated Elijah for what he did to Davina until Elijah died, but forgave Freya for her role? Not only forgave her but decided to help continue the Mikaelson line. I just find it hard to believe that he would have agreed to help. But Julie wanted to expand the Mikaelsons and then do nothing with it I guess.

Even in TVD, this idea that everyone wants to be a parent is pushed. Again, yes some people do, but not everyone needs to want children.

I understood Jo, Alaric, and even Stefan's desire to have children. This need to protect and care for others was built into them. We see Alaric (before his character sucked) basically adopt Elena and Jeremy. Jo was always protective of her siblings and loved caring for others so much she became a doctor. Stefan just always had this paternal need to take care of others in my opinion. I even see this with Elena and Bonnie. (Also the fact that Bonnie's future is never mentioned -- we hear about everyone else but what was Bonnie up to in Legacies??)

But Caroline and Damon having children made no sense to me. Caroline had dreams of a career and seemed adventurous, but then was forced into pregnancy at what 23 years old while she was still in school? Yes, we see she gets to become a journalist, but in Legacies we don't hear anything about her life or career. She isn't even there as a mother. Caroline's character basically disappears.

Damon never expressed a desire for children that I can remember. He enjoyed his vampire life and I can't see him giving it up to be a mortal, stay-at-home dad.

There are a lot of problems with the show, Friends, but one thing I've always loved is how they show the different pathways to parenthood. Pheobe is a surrogate for her brother, Monica adopts, and Rachel is a single mother. There isn't one way to be a parent, as long as you always put the children's safety and happiness first.

TVDU could have learned a thing about it. For a show that loved to randomly have a found family trope, it was also ready to throw it out the window the second biological family showed up. That's not how found families work, they are family through and through.

Also, and I cannot say this enough, not everyone needs to want to have children. Even women.

[hacked-wtsdz]

The horror of vampirism: Elena Gilbert

Grief Lessons: Four plays by Euripides — Anne Carson

The Vampire Diaries: s3//ep22

A Barbie Dream House But All the Dolls Are Kitchen Knives — Cassandra de Alba

The Vampire Diaries: s4//ep14

The Vampire Diaries: s4//ep21

Unburnable the Cold is Flooding Our Lives — Kaveh Akbar

The Vampire Diaries: s4//ep22

The Vampire Diaries: s4//ep23

[katherineholmes]

Petrova Doppelgängers and Femininity

I'm not sure if the show runners and the writers intended to do this, but the Petrova doppelgängers are deeply entrenched in femininity. The one thing that all doppelgängers have in common is that they are always the sufferers. That they are powerful but only because they can be used. And that is exactly how the world has used women for centuries.

Amara’s cast in stone for two thousand years, being the anchor to the other side, her power used to hold up the so called supernatural purgatory. Tatia’s love is twisted, her blood is used to turn the men she loved into monsters. She had a child, presumably from a man who either left her or died. And then she’s killed by the lover turned monster for her blood. Katherine’s child is ripped from her, and when she tries to start a new life, she’s shown a beautiful, romantic future with a lord before it’s ripped away from her too. Before she sees her whole family slain. Elena is entrenched in grief and trauma, her loss is like Katherine’s, but where Katherine’s happened in a single night, Elena’s happened over three years.

Over and over again, the doppelgängers are used for the two most personal things - their blood and their womb. Having children that they can’t raise.

Amara falls in love with a man far more powerful than her and is condemned to an eternity of suffering and punishment for her crime.

Tatia is blamed for coming between two brothers and killed for her crime.

Katherine has her child ripped from her arms, seeing her daughter only once before she’s gone forever. She goes to England and dreams of a perfect life, emboldened by Klaus and his ‘romantic’ pursuit of her. Probably sees dreams of being a lady and a wife and a mother, for she’s a mother without her child.

But when she realises that these are just her dreams and tries to take control of her situation, she’s punished and has to see her entire family dead. Punished because she did not accept death and suffering. It’s telling as well, the way she’s portrayed on the show, the femme fatale, the ‘sexy’ one, the whore to Elena’s Madonna.

The only one who gets sent to hell for her sins.

Elena sees her parents die, Elena’s stuck between two brothers who love her face and her body and her compliance more than they love her. Who loses her aunt despite giving into Klaus and then becomes his human blood bag. Who keeps trying to save Stefan until he breaks her spirit, who keeps trying to save Damon despite how he takes away her right to grieve.

Amara, Tatia, Katherine and Elena are all sufferers. They suffer for their blood and their bodies and their wombs. They scream and are turned into victims, monster teeth in their throats, and iv lines in their veins and their blood turned to stone.

They are a representation of the most fundamental ways in which women suffer. Through their blood and their wombs and their hearts.

They are not powerful beings, yet their blood and suffering is of use to others.

And yet, they persevere. Amara who chooses her own death, and Tatia who had willingly given her blood to save Elijah. Katherine who takes her death in her own hands and lives. Refuses to suffer. Elena who plays the game and uses everything at her disposal to save everyone she can around her.

Just as all women do.

They all play a game that’s been rigged against them since the beginning.

They are one whose blood enables the existence of vampires and hybrids. Without the doppelgängers, there would be no vampires, there would be no originals, and no hybrids. Their blood is what sustains two entire species.

And so, in one way or the other, they win.

@sevensistersofsussex @amandamonroe @feralcherry @qvnthesia @jennifersminds

[kevin-day-is-bi]

I have a headcanon that is strongly supported by canon, which is that Elena is demisexual.

Her first - and to our knowledge, only prior - boyfriend was a childhood friend. Whether she originally loved him and then fell out of love with him or never "really" loved him, he was still someone she had an intense prior emotional connection to. Plus, from what we gather, prior to the accident she goes to parties and has a lot of wild friends, which really doesn't suggest that she's the type of person to go for the "safe" option.

Stefan is what could make this doubtful, but I posit that it actually puts the nail in the coffin. She never suggests genuine romantic interest in him until they become friends. At the beginning, she seems curious to know more about him, and interested because he seems somehow different, but very little of what she demonstrates is romantic until about halfway through season one, once they're friends. While she does things like checking him out in school, very little effort or emotion seems to be put into it, especially compared to someone like Caroline, who we do know is romantically attracted to him. Rather, most of those actions are taken in the presence of others, and her lack of investment seems to suggest that she's going through the motions rather than truly interested. While this could be because she's also neurodivergent or because she thinks she "should", I think this is trauma from the accident, and she's attempting to do something most people perceive as "normal". Additionally, she doesn't sleep with Stefan until she tells him he loves him. We know this isn't a feature of the show, because people casually sleep with each other pretty frequently.

And then we get Damon. This is the biggest indicator, because at no point in their enemies-to-lovers arc does she display the usual "I hate him but he's hot". It's not until he starts showing kindness and being more helpful - and then becoming friends - that she seems even remotely interested in him. While this could be her just liking nice guys, there *are* a few periods where he's stopped being so openly kind but they're still friends, and signs of her attraction remain throughout those.

[vitrisimbre]

something that sticks out to me about carolena and is one of the reasons why i don't ever like the ship much is because it feels like caroline is a bit resentful towards elena and acts as a mouthpiece for the audience that doesn't like elena. like that part where she's like "liam is performing surgery on sarah and you found a way to make this about you?"

i'm biased i guess because elena is my favorite character in tvd, so take my opinion with a grain of salt, but i never found her to be selfish like the audience started saying over the years. the only time it felt that way to me was the scene where she and damon were arguing about their relationship while they were in the prison world with a limited amount of time to get bonnie out. they should've been driving to meet bonnie halfway, but instead elena was trying to more or less flirt with damon. but there's a lot of things about delena that i don't like, because the ship usually results in choices/scenes like that where the show is almost entirely about delena to the point it sacrifices characterization of other characters. to me i think that was ooc of elena and a result of poor writing that started going downhill when delena became canon

but earlier in the show, she was always trying to die for her loved ones, prevent them from having to make hard decisions... she stabbed herself and slit her throat while she was still a human and felt human pain just to outsmart original vampires for the purpose of keeping her loved ones safe

so i just never thought she was selfish besides that one scene in the prison world that frustrated me. but it felt like caroline thought that about elena, just like the audience, and it was always unfair to me because caroline is maybe the last person who should be judging someone for centering themselves to begin with… 😭 she had a real issue (like it was one of her canonical character flaws) with being frivolous and self centered. she grew and by the end of the show she was a generous person and a very kind mother. but i just wasn't a big fan of her interactions with elena

the part in season 6 where elena is trying so hard to party with caroline and cheer her up but caroline just tells her everyone is gone (i.e, stefan is gone because he was out of town and ignoring caroline’s calls because damon died) and elena goes “but i’m still here, care 🙁” but then caroline says she knows and walks off anyway always made me sad

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

I don’t get why people call Elena selfish and always slander her, it’s incredibly confusing to me tbh. Of course, Elena certainly is more flawed than a surface-level interpretation would suggest but how many times has she sacrificed herself for her friends safety and lives at the cost of her own ?? And been concerned with their happiness above her own ? She didn’t complain once about being put into a sleeping beauty spell, she volunteered herself as a lamb in Klaus’s ritual, she even put herself in the situation where she and Klaus had mutually beneficial partnerships and negotiated on her loved ones’ behalf, asking the man who killed her aunt for his help, abandoning pride, safety, and righteous hatred of Klaus on Jenna’s, as well as her other victimized loved ones’, behalf because those loved ones, would benefit (which is really intelligent ? and also admirable ? so miss me with the bullshit about Elena sitting on her ass and letting her friends do the work because if that’s what her haters think happened, we were not watching the same show).

Elena goes out of her way to protect her friends and sacrifices everything for her loved ones. I think she has a very deep sadness that makes her very heavy to some people. People prefer characters who are lighter, that's why Caroline is a favourite over Bonnie and Elena.

But yes, they interpreted her character wrong. She is not a pick me nor a cry baby. Elena is incredibly strong and brave.

[therealvinelle]

i've seen you answer a few questions about tvd so i thought i might ask, what are your thoughts on the main love triangle? and klaus/stefan?

As a caveat: I did not watch much further than the first few episodes of season 4, in fact I ragequit when one of the writers revealed we wouldn't be seeing Elijah on screen again until 4x20 at which point I thought, "Well I simply won't watch until 4x20 then".

And then 4x20 was a backdoor pilot to the spinoff The Originals and I simply watched that show instead.

All this to say, I was 100% a gung ho Vampire Diaries fan and you can tell by how closely I was following it, sadly the only TVD I know of would be the first three seasons. Same actually goes for The Originals, as I for reasons I don't remember wasn't able to access episodes post-season 3 so I wound up not knowing what happens after Hayley drives off with the entire family hibernating in her truck either.

Another disclaimer: it's been more than ten years since I watched this show and my memory may fail me at times.

With that:

The main love triangle

Having only seen the first three seasons, I think that Damon wishes quite badly he was a different man, and he is unable to take responsibility for his life and relationships being what they are. He would rather blame his failings on Stefan, and, whenever Stefan fails or falls short in some ways, it's immensely validating to Damon because who's the bad brother now?

His love for Katherine is not only about Katherine, but about being chosen by someone over Stefan. Because, as Damon will try to tell himself, just because she was sleeping with both of them and decided to turn them both, doesn't mean she didn't prefer Damon (after all, she had to compell Stefan, while Damon slept with her willingly. Victory for Damon!), and also- look, don't question Damon on this. It's fine and he's a well adjusted man, and once he has rescued his lady love from her tomb she'll tell him how much better he is than Stefan.

Enter Elena, who looks exactly like Katherine, is living in Mystic Falls just the same as Katherine, and who has drawn Stefan's interest.

Damon, eternally pulling Stefan's pigtails and being a goddamn creep, starts creeping on Elena, this does not work. Instead, however, he learns that Katherine faked her entombment, and has in fact been living her best life for the past 150 years. Worse, Damon and Stefan were never more than boytoys to her.

Cut to Elena, who is just as beautiful (in a very literal sense of the term), only she is kind, genuinely loves Stefan, the polar opposite of Katherine in every way.

Damon transfers his emotions from Doppelganger B to Doppelganger C.

Stefan, meanwhile, seems to... fall in with Elena, for lack of a better way to put it. They meet, he is confused about the resemblance to Katherine for long enough to get to know her, by which time he's into it, and Elena sees a very handsome and pleasant man who is easy to fall for.

The trouble with Stefan is I don't really have a grip on his character, he is... there, for three seasons, and he has his character moments and his speeches, I can tell you things about his personality except I can't.

He is one of those people you can know for years but never actually know who, having killed his father and become the Ripper for so many years, seems to be that he is running away from himself. That is the only way I can interpret his strange nothingness, as well as bizarre decisions like coming to live with his nephew Zach and attend high school.

I think Stefan wants to surround himself with people, form relationships with them, and through that find a sense of identity that he can enjoy. Which is where loving Elena comes in, as she is kind, generous, mature, vulnerable, and fun- the type of person you can lose yourself in, and have those simple moments of happiness Florence Welch sings about.

In other words, while my real ship here is Elejah, Stelena trumps Delena any day.

Klaus and Stefan

Klaus is a deeply sad person who is only interested in dating two people, and they are his sister Rebekah and his brother Elijah. At the time he met Stefan Elijah wasn't around, so Stefan became replacement Elijah.

(The proof of the Elijah projection lies in the fact that Klaus was fine with Stefan sleeping with Rebekah. He is historically not fine with outsiders doing this, you have to be family for Klaus to accept these things.)

"Look, Elijah," Klaus would imagine himself saying to Elijah, "I have a new brother now and he is hotter, cooler, and not a total bore like you! Stefan loves me more anyway," and then Elijah would sit and cry and give Klaus so much attention and it would be great.

As for Stefan, I think he just liked partying.

They probably did fuck, but Klaus is too embarrassing for Stefan to ever admit as much.

[cancerian-woman]

🔥 + bonnies friendships (either in general or with a specific person)

unpopular opinion: on Bonnie’s friends but in the end it makes sense why Enzo, Damon and Caroline are arguably the most important people to Bonnie first then Elena etc etc. Bonnie(and the rest of the group) would’ve been okay if she/them let Elena go. I know the writing says otherwise but hear me out. — lowkey turned into a barolena meta lol.

Bonenzo/Bamon both are built up on Bonnie depending on them when she had nobody else. It gave her room to see the good in them from her side of things. Makes her very dependent on somebody else. It filled up her abandonment issues. Which is never properly addressed in canon & she definitely has issues with her parents. The feuds for both ships is funny sometimes bc well…Enzo/Damon both started their relationships with her that way.

Elena reminds Bonnie of life pre-supernatural world. The life that was safe and normal. Bonnie spent most of her time with Elena and had her to lean on for anything. We don’t get enough of Bonnie’s emotions but we can tell Bonnie sees Elena/her orbit (and then everyone else as family) vice versa. Back to the point BE seemed to do just about everything together naturally. Cheerleading, sleepovers etc.. Bonlena also play into that Petrova x Bennett line repeated circle—which i think can have negative tones but pen in that lmao. The writing stopped aiding in Elena caring about her friends when she certainly did at first and thus Bonlena fell out without actually falling out heavily. But this does build an argument for Bonnie being okay, if Elena left her alone. With Bonnie having feelings in her own friendships and those feelings being loud.

Caroline plays into this because she slowly becomes the friend Bonnie needs without it being given too much focus. Baroline isn’t necessarily about life or death and has plenty of more non-serious moments. Keeping tvd’s weird “we’ll talk about Bonnie’s relationships without giving it focus” Caroline does defend Bonnie here or there. doing things like: begging Abby to stay or telling Elena, Bonnie suffers because of her. killing witches. Having Caroline admit when she’s selfish. stealing from Elena there with her happier bonding moments with Bonnie. Both Caroline and Elena have their moments just like the rest of the gang with Bonnie. Where Elena lacked, Caroline filled up the spaces that Elena had with others.

During Elena’s no humanity arc she didn’t act like Bonnie’s friend. Or anyone’s really. I think it’s something to be said here. That Bonnie is actually reflecting her choices in what Elena said to her. I know people think Elena attempting to kill Bonnie was the last straw or should’ve been. I think this should’ve been the moment the wheels started turning in Bonnie’s head. Plus Elena’s attempt. If Bonnie was allowed to be mad and stay that was after Elena bit her then it wouldn’t have been much Elena could’ve done with that. But fight for forgiveness. Humanity-back on/Human Elena would have a bigger time struggling without Bonnie’s presence than Bonnie would’ve had without Elena. Both Bonnie and Elena have lost a lot yes. But Bonnie is known for that independence and Elena isn’t.

Neither Rudy or Abby ever apologized (well)for how they treated Bonnie and while an apology from somebody would’ve been seasons late. It equally could’ve been nice coming from Elena during season 5-6. Bonnie still NEEDED family or support from them. Which she never actually has outside the vortex of the MFG. Yet has no feelings or ill thoughts to her family.

[thequeenofsastiel]

On my, idk, fifth rewatch of TVD, and there are two moments that make me go a little mad. First is when Rose says that Damon makes Elena question her "life" and "beliefs". The second is when Elena is professing her love for Damon at the end of s4 and says that he made her "question everything". I need to know what they mean by that. What questions did Damon make her ask herself? What beliefs did he make her question? What, whether or not it's okay to torture, murder, rape, and kidnap people? Seriously, what questions?! I NEED TO KNOW

[antizionistrussophile64]

I am not buying into Stefan treating Elena as a broken toy in Season 4 of The Vampire Diaries. She said she didn't want to be like Damon and wanted to go back to being a human. Damon is still projecting what he felt about Katherine onto Elena because she is a nicer version of Katherine.

[andreal831]

You’re so right about Hayley being a baby. I saw an edit of her during the trend “who we saw going through x / who actually was going through x” and even if I already remarked myself before of how young she was, that slideshow killed me (+ I grew up watching H2O so :().

My baby I love her she did not deserve what she went through

Ok that trend actually broke my heart with the different fandoms. It is so easy to forget how young they all are when things are happening. The show purposefully makes them appear older so that it's less creepy.

This is what it actually looked like when Stefan and Damon brought chaos into their lives. They were babies.

I also saw one with Mikaelsons on how they looked when they were turned. Finn looked the same as the oldest so I included Hayley to remind everyone how young she was.

And how young Hope really was when she lost her mom.

It really puts things into perspective of what everyone in TVDU went through when they were turned and how young they truly were dealing with everything.

[sulietsexual]

Such a dumb question, but I always trust your opinion - what is Elena's personality supposed to be? What are her core strengths and what do the writers intend as her main flaws? How are she and Bonnie different? Is the more introspective, serious Elena we see at the beginning more her real personality or just the product of her grief?! Thank you so much in advance for any light you can shed - this issue always nags at me :)

There are no dumb questions, Nonnie! I'm maybe not the best person to ask about Elena's characterisation, as I still don't know TVD all that well, but I'll do my best!

I have to admit, I find Elena's character to be a bit of a blank-slate character, at least in the very early seasons of the show. In basing her characterisation first around her grief and then around her love interests, the writers kind of forgot to write the rest of her character. It's hard to figure out what she wants, what her desires are, what her goals are and sometimes even where her motivations are coming from.

For example, characters like Caroline, and even Bonnie to a certain extent, are shown to have interests and motivations; Caroline is ambitious in her academic and social activities and is driven by her own insecurities and desire for perfection and we get to see her struggle with these traits and with finding a balance and then growing within herself, especially once she's turned. Bonnie, though woefully overlooked by the writers in many areas, is still given strengths and goals and motivations through her witchcraft and her desire to learn and refine her powers and delve into her past and her ancestors.

But Elena is not presented with any of this, at least at first. We learn that a lot of her actions and her overall demeanour and detachment from her friends, social activities and school is a result of her parents' death and her survivors guilt, but we don't really get to know what she was like before the accident, so it's hard to read her character accordingly. Once she starts seeing Stefan, and is later caught between him and Damon, her characterisation becomes very much centered on the brothers and her feelings for them, and she doesn't seem to be driven by much else. 

It also doesn’t help that she is so often put in danger and threatened within the narrative, as her perpetual victim status detracts from her character and denies her growth - she’s not allowed to get stronger, as that would make it harder to put her in dangerous situations. I think that this is most egregious in Season 2, when everyone is trying to get their hands on her in order to present her to Klaus. Elena spends so much time being stalked, hurt and captured, that there’s almost no room for her to grow.

I will say that there are traits which Elena is clearly given from the early seasons and which she maintains throughout the series, showing that there was at least a decent foundation for character growth. She's shown to be extremely compassionate and empathetic and is a very selfless person. She’s also very brave and is shown to run into dangerous situations for those she loves. She also has bit of a death wish, probably as a result of her survivor's guilt and she can be a bit of a martyr, even if it is driven by love for her friends and family.

I'd say the introspective and serious side you've mentioned is actually a core trait of hers, as, even as she loosens up more at college and becomes more open with people, she does seem to maintain these traits.

This all being said, I do think that she gets some decent growth in the later seasons, in particular Seasons 5 and 6. When she goes to college we see her start to have a bit more fun, loosen up and try to experience college life to the fullest. She also becomes more assertive and stronger in this season, especially after she’s body-jacked by Katherine.

She gets even better in Season 6, when we finally get to see her set some goals and express desires outside of romance. I love that she decides to commit to pre-med, as it suits her established characterisation, tying into her compassion and empathy and desire to protect and help others. I also have really come to like her relationship with Damon this season, as the removal of her memories forces her to form a new and more genuine bond with him, and it also starts to bring out the better side of Damon.

I feel like I got a bit off-topic here, so the bottom line is, I feel like the writing of Elena’s character is a bit thin at first and could definitely be deeper and more fleshed out, but that she does have established characterisation and is given some growth in later seasons, which elevate her character and give Nina a bit more to do with the character.

[katherineholmes]

Many Caroline fans are always calling Elena a "bitch" for falling in love with Damon even though (according to them) Elena was aware of the sexual abuse Caroline suffered when she was under Damon's compulsion. However, I see virtually no Caroline fans complaining about how fucking selfish and cruel Caroline was to have sex with Klaus, even though he was responsible for making Elena's life a living hell. Not only did he kill Jenna in front of Elena, but he also tried to kill Jeremy, KILLED ELENA in the ritual, forced Isobel to kill herself in front of Elena for the sheer cruelty of doing so, and also made Tyler his slave and then killed Carol.

And in fact, Elena is ALSO another r@pe victim of Damon. I have nothing against Caroline, but her fans are extremely sexist and even misogynistic when it comes to Elena or even Bonnie.

Trigger Warning : Discussions of non-con, abuse.

Okay, first of all, hello, I got this ask such a long time back, and I'm really sorry about how long it has taken me answer it.

So, I wanna break this down before I answer this. All three of them - Bonnie, Caroline and Elena are victims of the vampires on the show. And pretty much everyone on the show has been wronged by someone or the other, even Klaus. All I'm trying to say is that the show itself pits a lot of victims, especially female victims, against each other. Mostly in order to prop up men, which is why I think that TVD is rooted in misogyny.

So I'm not going to blame either Caroline or Elena, but the message you sent is very compelling, and I want to dissect it a bit.

The 'Delena' of it

Let's get to the root of it - is Elena selfish for loving Damon? I recently saw a similar question on Reddit (two minutes of silence for the time I waste lurking on that site), and I honestly could not even read it, because of some of the takes I saw. But the root of it is this - Elena is traumatised teenager trying to hold on to every last person she has left.

I saw a meta about Elena having prolonged grief, and I agree, it feels as if her grief and her survivors guilt, is almost pathological. Within the show, she seeks one particular thing from her parter - immortality. Her entire family, with the exception of Jeremy, is dead. Of these she has seen her parents, Isobel and Jenna die in front of her. It is not only grief that she feels over these losses, it's also helpless, desperation, and a lot of trauma. In these situations, she essentially a person watching a train crash - on the sidelines, desperate to help them and save them, but helpless to do so.

Because of this trauma, she seeks to include people in her life that are immortal, and hard to kill. Be it Stefan, Damon, Caroline and Bonnie who's a powerful witch, as opposed to sending away Jeremy - someone who's mortal and can be hurt. She actively keeps an inner circle of supernatural beings around her because it's hard to lose them, and tries to distance the mortal ones - like Matt and April.

So it makes sense, that when she feels that she can't be with Stefan any longer, she is drawn towards Damon. Damon who takes the notion of death lightly, and plays with it, and has survived a lot. (A lot of this has to do with the sire bond, but we'll get into that some other day). But as it is, Elena feels safe with Damon because he is tough to kill, and it isn't selfish for anyone, let alone her, to seek security within a relationship. And to her, security is to not go through that grief or pain again.

Damon and his abuse of Caroline

Having said what I just did about Elena feeling secure with Damon, that's mainly according to her priorities and her specific trauma. Because yes, watching someone die, or being a spectator to trauma is also traumatic.

But, Damon isn't really safe, for anyone. Not even Elena. But he was particularly unsafe for Caroline. When we first see Damon meet Caroline, we see him charming her (because a seventeen year old girl is easy to charm), we see him flirting with her and going back to sleep with her. The scene then cuts to Damon biting Caroline and feeding on her - in the middle of sex. And she is traumatised, at which point he compels her and presumably this goes on. In the morning, she tries to run, he compels her again and then they go back out, behaving like a couple.

Now, the show runners themselves have never, ever acknowledged this as rape but it is rape. And we can see that, but Caroline never calls it rape - because she can't, and every time, Damon's abuse of Caroline is brought up, it is called abuse. It's said that Caroline is Damon's 'blood bag', she herself says that and calls herself his errand boy, but nobody ever calls it rape.

When Elena asks Stefan what Damon is doing to Caroline, he says that Damon is compelling her to feed on her. And we never see Elena and Caroline talking about it. So, in terms of the material that we have been presented with, we can conclude that Elena doesn't realise that Damon raped Caroline, because here's the thing, nobody on the show ever calls it rape. Not just in regards to Damon and Caroline, but in regards to Damon and Andy as well. Or Katherine and Stefan.

In a nutshell, TVD has a lot of consent issues, and straight up non-con, but it never addresses that, the narrative itself doesn't, and so we cannot hold a single character responsible for not seeing it. And if we can, then where is this energy when it comes to holding Stefan responsible for enabling Damon? Or Alaric - the grown man who hangs out with a rapist?

The 'Klaroline' of it

Klaus is the worst. He's a killer, he enjoys physically and psychologically torturing people, he literally enslaved his hybrids, then killed said hybrids just because they wanted to be free, killed his mother (who admittedly isn't mother of the year either), carted his siblings in boxes, and laughed when Finn expressed his trauma from being daggered for nine hundred years. Klaus is horrible, but he's arguably one of the best characters on the show, and is probably the best villain.

But he showers Caroline with affection. A lot of it, I think at least at the beginning, is love bombing. And while Caroline isn't amused by it, she is a little enamoured by it. She really is attracted to him, and doesn't like it. The thing is, Klaus is a lot like Damon, but he also cares about Caroline, and saves her life. Caroline is also traumatised, and has this belief that she'll never be anyones first priority - and I'll be absolutely clear on this, I'm not saying that Caroline isn't anyone's first priority, I'm saying that Caroline thinks so, and whether it's true or not isn't relevant to this particular conversation.

But Klaus at certain points, prioritises Caroline. And she's enamoured by this. When they fuck in the woods, he is only there for a day, and she wants to fulfil her desires, and maybe, get it out of her system, see what it's like. But, and I'm not sure of this, I haven't seen it discussed anywhere nor do I know Caroline's character enough to know if this is true, but I think sleeping with Klaus is Caroline's way of feeling in control.

Klaus is a lot worse than Damon, and she wants to feel in control with him, the kind of control she never had with Damon, as part of a trauma response. I'm not saying it's only a trauma response, but that part of it is. It's okay if anyone disagrees with this, or anything in this post, but this is my opinion. But, in either case, I'm not going to call it selfish.

There is a larger discussion here about what is selfishness, and it's always bad to be selfish, and whether or not a character being selfish should be a hindrance to liking them, but I digress. That's for another discussion.

Damon and his abuse of Elena

In episode 1x03 or 1x04 of TVD, Damon compels Elena to kiss him, but she's wearing vervain, so she doesn't get compelled. But honestly, Damon was so in love with Katherine, that he could've done anything to Elena simply because they look alike. In s2, he tries to break her hand, and physically abuses her, and throughout her relationship with Stefan and s3, he continually hits on her. In the end, she has no choice but to accept his behaviour.

In s4, he tricks her into blood sharing, and sleeps with her when she's sired to him. It's definitely sexual abuse, dub-con at best, but it isn't discussed because that clusterfuck of a plot point, the sire bond, is fucking weird. Elena is basically enslaved to Damon, like the hybrids are to Klaus, and no consent in this situation can ever be freely given.

So, I agree, Damon abuses Elena but it is never addressed, because the sire bond is presented, according to narrative, as a romantic thing.

In conclusion, a lot of TVD is rooted in misogyny, in fact the entire concept of 'who deserves Elena' is highly misogynistic because it treats Elena as an object to be coveted rather than a person. And so, it makes that quite a few fans are also misogynistic, but there's nothing we can do about it. Like I understand your frustration, and I'm right with you about Elena being hated for the most ridiculous reason, and I wish there was something we could do about it, but there isn't.

Thank you so much for sending this ask, it got me thinking about a lot of things, especially cause I'm neither a Klaroline nor a Delena shipper.

[nikkiruncks]

Hi! Tell us what you like and relate to about Elena. What are her biggest strengths and greatest flaws?

With Elena, when it comes to relating, I do try to move forward and reinvent myself. I also tend to act selfishly at times but I’d like to think that I have a good heart and so does she (have a good heart lol).

Now when it comes to what I like about her, I think it’s pretty cool how she used her body as a weapon (especially as a human). She didn’t really have powers but was still able to fight and get shit done. Elena, I do think, had her loved ones’ best interest at heart (even as a Bonnie and Tyler stan, I can admit that).

With dislike, it’s most how she treats her friends and brother at times. Bonnie is so good to her and she mostly cares when it’s convenient. Though I don’t agree with people using this to uplift Caroline. They’re both bad friends to her but not the point. And with Jeremy, obviously the fact that she keeps Damon around despite knowing how awful he is to Jeremy. But also, she tends to treat him like he’s a baby when he’s only a year younger than her. Not to mention having Damon compel him twice. It wasn’t as bad in s1, because he was allowed to mad at her and when she told Care to respect Bill’s choice, it showed growth. But then she did it again and had him got Denver. And Elena was so fucking obnoxious when Bonnie dragged her to filth like the queen she is.