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l4mplight · 11 months ago

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Miquella and Trina; A Tragedy

Hey Tumblr. I have a lot of thoughts about Shadow of the Erdtree, and these ones... let's just say I don't think they'd do well on Reddit. It's not often that I feel particularly impacted by a particular fictional character. Usually I connect more with narrative arcs and themes, which is why I think I'm so drawn to the ephemeral, vibes based storytelling of Fromsoft's games. Playing through SOTE, though, I found Miquella (and St Trina) to be extremely emotionally compelling and relatable, and I wasn't sure exactly why. I think I've put my finger on it now though. First of all, know that I am writing from the perspective that Miquella is a sympathetic character. I know that it's not uncommon to read him as a manipulative Machiavellian villain, but I think that's both a misreading of the text as well as just plain boring. Like, he's not a Griffith clone you guys, give From some credit. Anyway, here we go.

"You have no understanding. Of Miquella the Kind. Of St. Trina's Love.

Content Warning: I'll be discussing themes of depression, and the implication of suicidal ideation.

So, a classic Fromsoftware theme is despair, and the ways we cope with a world full of it. It shows up twice in Shadow of the Erdtree; with Midra and the Frenzied Flame, where despair leads to a selfish nihilism that asks us to burn everything down, and with Thiollier and St Trina, who offer sleep as a comfort to the weary. Running a small errand for Thiollier has him say the following.

"If you find yourself… weary of the weight of this life, then just give me the word. Sleep is a balm, and eternal sleep… is an elixir."

Drinking the elixir he offers will, of course, result in an instant death. This is our first encounter with the idea of "Eternal Sleep," a more potent form of the sleep status effect that only appears here in the Shadowlands, after St Trina has been abandoned. The Velvet Sword of St. Trina tells us as much: "Silver sword of St. Trina, now stained the color of velvet. Inflicts eternal sleep. When St. Trina was abandoned, the faint, light-purple mists coalesced into an intoxicating deep-purple cloud." In order to ascend to godhood, Miquella abandons first his physical body, and then the more abstract aspects of himself. As we begin to descend down the fissure where we'll find Trina, a cross marks the spot as the place where Miquella abandoned his love. This connects Trina, "the discarded half" as Thiollier puts it, with Miquella's love. Leda confirms this in her own dialogue:

"St. Trina's love for Kind Miquella is boundless. She is, after all, his other half. Or perhaps her feelings go beyond even that. Even if she was left behind, I doubt her heart would waver."

Keep that in mind, it'll be relevant later.

Near the cross, a spirit offers up some of the most heartbreaking dialogue I've come across so far. The spirit gives us a bigger picture of Miquella's goals:

"Kindly Miquella... I see you've thrown away... something you should not have. Under any circumstances. How will you salvation offer... to those who cannot be saved? When you could not even save your other self?"

I teared up at this. The emotional impacted was aided by the fact that I ran into the spirit right after telling Moore to put his past behind him, leading him to rededicate himself to Miquella. He says:

"Hm. Maybe that’s Kindly Miquella’s love. Love for all the unloved. Love, to banish the pain."

Note here that Moore suggest Miquella's love will "banish the pain." This is also essentially what Trina's sleep does. It's a comfort to those in need. Anyway, between these two instances, we end up with a pretty good picture of the sort of god Miquella wants to become. He was already sympathetic to the outcasts of The Lands Between in the basegame, where he built Elphael and the Haligtree as a haven for those rejected by the Golden Order, such as the Albinaurics and Misbegotten we find there. In the Shadowlands, he has gone a step further. Hornsent tells us that he has committed himself, in essence, to righting Marika's wrongs.

"Miquella has said as much himself – he wishes now to throw it all away. He says the act – though undoubtedly painful – will sear clean the Erdtree’s wanton sin. The truth of his claim can be found at each cross. 'Tis evidence enough to earn my belief."

Of all of Marika's children, Miquella is the only one to see the serious flaws in her empire. Ymir points this out to us as well.

"No matter our efforts, if the roots are rotten, then we have little recourse. Ever-Young Miquella saw things for what they were. He knew his bloodline was tainted, his roots mired in madness. A tragedy if there ever was one. That he would feel compelled to renounce everything when the blame lay squarely with the mother."

My thinking here is aligned with Mother Ymir. You really have to feel for Miquella; he has essentially taken on, alone, the responsibility of making up for centuries of Golden Order imperialism. That's a massive burden to bear, especially for Miquella, cursed with eternal childhood.

(It's easy to miss, but Miquella actually ages up significantly when we see him in god-form. Until he steps back through the Divine Gate, he would have looked and sounded like he does in the introductory art and in ending memory scene. Compare those with how he appears in the boss fight, and it's clear godhood at least helped him reach puberty lol) So we've established that Miquella is the child of Imperial Rome on Steroids, is cursed with eternal childhood, and is an empathetic prodigy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Surely his mental state is perfectly healthy, right? Right??

Final warning, this is where things get quite sad. Here is where I will try to tie Miquella's arc together with Thiollier and St Trina, and the comforting oblivion and relief from despair that sleep represents for them.

As we search for St Trina, we descend down into the Stone Coffin Fissure. This is a place of death, with massive coffins built into the fissure walls, and Gravebirds, Bloodfiends and Putrescent enemies everywhere. St Trina is found at the deepest possible pit of this fissure, in a swamp of putrescence that has since blossomed into a garden of deep velvet lilies because of her influence. Trina offers us nectar of "eternal sleep," as Thiollier did previously, and as established then, "eternal sleep" is essentially nothing more than a peaceful death. Trina seems to fit in quite well in this place of ancient dead things, with some of the ancient remains even being compelled to fight for her in exchange for eternal rest, becoming the Putrescent Knight.

(Side note for levity because we're about to get sad again; I love this guy. It's a knight made out of the skeleton of a horse, riding on that same horse's decaying flesh goop body. Like, ugh. Beautiful. Plus, it may even have taken that shape because of Trina sharing Miquella's memories of Radahn, who was never far from his horse Leonard...)

We meet St Trina in her garden, and when we imbibe her nectar, we eventually begin to hear her voice in our death-dreams. She seems to pity him. Mourn for him, almost.

"Make Miquella stop... Don't turn the poor thing into a god..."

Trina appears to be in a bad state after her fall. She can only manage to get a few words across to us at once. Just as Leda predicted, her heart hasn't wavered. She is only concerned with Miquella's well-being.

"Godhood would be Miquella's prison. A caged divinity... is beyond saving."

Trina's most pressing concern is that godhood will be a prison for Miquella. Now, this could in theory be because gods are subject to manipulation from the Fingers and the Greater Will or a similar reason, but given that she calls him a "poor thing," I think there is likely a more emotional reason behind Trina's plea. I think that Trina is speaking as the embodiment of Miquella's love, but especially his ability to love and care for himself...

"You must kill Miquella... Grant him forgiveness."

...and she asks us to kill him.

In excising Trina from his being, I think Miquella also expelled the part of himself that was able to recognize how miserable divinity would be for him, and how miserable he was. The part of him that was tired of carrying the responsibilities that his compassion demanded of him. The part of him that was exhausted, despairing and desperate from having failed to cure Malenia, failed to save Godwyn, failed to perfect the Haligtree. St Trina is the part of Miquella that wanted to be stopped, to rest, to sleep, to die. In abandoning her as he does, Miquella is essentially repressing those thoughts and feelings, replacing them with more "selfless" ones; self-sacrifice, suffering on behalf of others, his martyrdom and apotheosis. I don't want to forget about "grant him forgiveness" either. She might mean forgiveness for failing to become a god, for not being good enough to succeed Marika and right her wrings. Maybe forgiveness for failing Malenia and Godwyn, or for leaving the Haligtree behind. Maybe even for abandoning her. But on the road to godhood, Miquella can't afford to indulge in this sort of self-pity. A child craves forgiveness and approval, a god must cast these things out.

"I'm feeling rather lost. Haunted by memories. Of St. Trina. Her visage. Her scent. The lure of velvety sleep. Would Kindly Miquella chasten me? For falling for St. Trina, while knowing that she was the discarded half? The problem is… I simply cannot help it. I would sacrifice everything, just to gaze upon her, one last time."

I want to mention Thiollier one more time here too. His primary visual motif is the long white braids that he wears on his clothes, reminiscent of Miquella and Trina's own signature braids (remember, she looked like an older feminine Miquella before her fall and injury). Thiollier is obsessed with Trina, pursuing her to hear her voice and fade into the comfort of her velvet sleep, though this doesn't kill him like it does us. I don't think Thiollier is connected to Miquella in any textual way, but I think he does serve as a reflection of the sorts of thoughts Miquella may have been surpressing. The self-pity, the need for approval and love, the feelings of weakness and uselessness. These are the things that lead Thiollier to pursue endless slumber.

Thiollier doesn't give in to that despair, however. Though he initially takes St. Trina's words... poorly, he eventually realizes what must be done, and dedicates himself to his new purpose: carrying out her final wish.

"I am here to serve St. Trina evermore. I am deeply sorry. For doubting you. I am here only to grant St. Trina's singular wish. I will stop Miquella the kind. He will never become a god."

This post is already quite long, but I also want to mention the obvious gender stuff going on here. There are a number of moments that make it seem as though St. Trina might actually be more than just "half" of Miquella. Firstly, as she is shown falling in the story trailer, Leda is describing how Miquella abandoned his fate, as if Trina had a vital role to play in Miquella's future. It also seems as though Trina isn't cursed in the same way that Miquella is; her voice and size indicate that she is at least more substantial than his "infant form," and she is depicted in "adult form, somewhat unnervingly" on the Torch of St. Trina. Furthermore, her "adult form" has a third eye in the middle of her forehead. The third eye is a symbol of enlightenment in both Hinduism and Buddhism; it seems that Trina has achieved some level of wholeness in this depiction. Meanwhile, when Miquella achieves godhood, his eyes remain permanently shut. He also appears to have only one physical arm. He holds Radahn with two incorporeal arms while casting with his real right arm, but his left arm appears to fade away to nothing before the elbow, as if unfinished. Miquella's blindness and asymmetry here, I think, reflect how unbalanced and incomplete his divinity is without Trina.

One more hint towards St Trina being a part of Miquella's future lies way back at the Haligtree. In Malenia's bossroom, just above where Miquella's cocoon was once embedded into the tree, the branches and roots appear to form a silhouette. This could be Miquella, Trina, or both, but I do see a certain resemblance to Trina's depiction on the torch in the way the "hair" covers the eyes. Given that Miquella's body appears to have grown a decent amount inside of the cocoon when we see in at Mohg's palace, it's possible that the cocoon situation was his original attempt to cure himself of his own curse, or perhaps become a part of the Haligtree itself. In the Shaman Village, Marika's home, there is a similar scene. A woman's body that resembles Marika seemingly mummified within the hollow of a tree. I honestly have no idea what to make of that just yet, but I thought it worth a mention.

So, with all that in mind, abandoning Trina seems to be even more significant. Not only has Miquella divested himself of his love and his fate, but maybe even his future, too. Being eternally nascent, he is always in a state of potential, after all. Am I suggesting that Miquella is a transfeminine character? That he was meant to grow up to become a goddess in the aspect of St. Trina, or maybe even more like Marika than he already is? Well, maybe. If you find it compelling, then absolutely. Fromsoftware's storytelling is always ambiguous, and is always design to leave us some room to read and interpret, to really play in the space we are given. Personally, I do find it compelling in a horribly tragic sort of way, fitting for the setting. It's also entirely possible that I have rather self-indulgently projected some of my own angst onto these character. I likely have, to be perfectly honest. It's rare that I really connect with a set of characters or a story like I have with this lot, and I hope that maybe some of you reading this will feel similarly. If you have read this far, thanks <3

#elden ring #shadow of the erdtree #miquella #st trina #elden ring dlc #miquella the unalloyed #thiollier #elden ring sote #elden ring spoilers #elden ring lore

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avocado-writing · 1 year ago

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Astarion x Reader

Astarion x Mage Apprentice!Reader* & Pt2*

Mistaken Identity

heart, home*

chilly

Astarion x Rogue!Tav Headcanons

Astarion’s Pre-Cazador Love

Virgin!Reader Feeding*

Gentle Cuddles

Pampered

Scotophobia

Anchor

Fangless

Training*

Where He’d Take You In The City

although I was burning, you’re the only light*

Gale x Reader

Good Boy* & pt2

Karlach x Reader

Burn Heals*

Halsin x Reader

Sneaking Off*

Bred*

Wyll x Reader

Giving In & Part 2

Teasing*

Misc

Kiddo (Gortash & Reader, platonic)

Lists

Supportive Headcanons

Shy Reader Kisses

Reader Often Ignored

Short Reader

Ascended Fiend Raphael HCs*

Dirty Headcanons*

Socially Anxious Reader

Companions help Reader in Pain

Pregnancy & Parenthood Headcanons

Reader Waiting for Rejection

Reader Worried Nobody Would Want Them

Reader Wearing His Clothes

Roadtrip AU

Comforting Headcanons

Trouble Sleeping

Reader Who Hides Their Face & Female Companions

Reader Who Says They’re Glad They Met Him

Reader With Skin Condition

Reactions to Calling Companions Mummy/Daddy*

Reactions to Companions Calling You Mummy/Daddy*

Reactions to You Hiding an Injury

Reader Sad About Being Ignored

BG3 Men Reactions When You Tease Them*

Companions Realising They’re In Love With You Mid-Battle & Reverse

Companion Reactions to a Reader Who Can Change Sex

Modern AU Picnic in the Park

Bard!Reader Serenading Them

Reactions When You’re Self-Conscious About Your Laugh

Halsin & Astarion Realising You’re Strong

Reactions When They See You Self-Destructing

Birthday Celebrations*

When You Think Your Love Is Unrequited

Reactions When You Say Their Love Will Pass

Reactions To You Drinking The Elixir of the Colossus*

How Female Companions Go Down*

Reactions When You’re a Selkie

Reactions When You Become Dominant*

Companions Help You Get Fit

Rainy Day Cuddles

Reactions to a Reader Who Loves to Cook

BG3 Ladies & Breast Play*

Reactions to You Coming Out as Ace

BG3 Ladies’ Reaction to a New Facial Scar

Pregnancy Cravings

How the BG3 Ladies Cuddle

Companions Falling For You Mid-Performance

How the BG3 Ladies Talk in Bed

BG3 Men & Reader Who Can't Read

Reactions to Awkward Comforting

Saying You Love Them Mid-Argument

#bottom graphics by bhaalism!#bg3 masterlist #astarion x reader #gale x reader #gale of waterdeep x reader #halsin x reader #wyll x reader #wyll ravengard x reader #karlach x reader #lae'zel x reader #shadowheart x reader #jaheira x reader #minthara x reader

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collegetennisoriginstory · 10 days ago

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Allie I swear to god, yours is the only IF I ever read that got me squealing audibly and LOUDLY, and got me rolling around, cringing at my own terrible choices in the comforts of my own room.

Like rejecting sam so horribly, so SEVERELY and then have the AUDACITY to absolutely DESTROY him on court AND THEN,,,, KISSING RAYYAN in front of him?????? THE NERVE!!! HOW COULD I????

Like seriously, I (very loudly and horribly cringed and) yelled "Omg you CANNOT DO THIS TO THAT POOR MAN" right before I absolutely did that to that poor man 😔😔

And then the INTERVIEW. and the CHOICES OF ANSWERS. My MC said "Rayyan means the world to me", and I screamed "OMG U CANNOT SAY THIS ON NATIONAL TV U ABSOLUTE LOSER", while being fully aware I am the one who chose that option 😔👍

Anyways, all this to say, this IF stresses me out (affectionate), and I look forward to more shenanigans :)

HAHHAHA.

Allie I swear to god, yours is the only IF I ever read that got me squealing audibly and LOUDLY, and got me rolling around, cringing at my own terrible choices

This gives me life. The elixir of youth. The holy grail.

Anyway, I love this. I love the all-caps sentiments. I love that you consistently choose the most hilarious drama-inducing options for your playthrough <3

#ct:os #college tennis: origin story #interactive fiction #if #sam #rayyan

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stoobfoobnoob · 2 months ago

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Interlinked.

Dean Winchester X Reader

angst, one-sided (ish), no use of Y/N, unedited

1.1k words

Dean Winchester wants a lot of things.

He wants an extra greasy bacon cheeseburger after a rough night, a warm homemade cherry pie, a credit card that wouldn’t freeze or decline right after he swiped it from some guy on the street, and maybe even a spa day where the knots could be massaged out of his overworked muscles.

Dean wants a day, or hell, even a year, where he and his brother could just catch a break—a moment to themselves in the sun with a nice cold beer without a care in the world. He wants to live in a world where all the evils in his life, all the creatures that go bump in the night, were just fairy tales and myths.

Dean knows that what he wants isn’t realistic.

He wishes he had grown up in a house with two parents who loved him. He wishes he had become a firefighter and saved people that way, unlike a soldier who constantly has to leave any normality behind. He desperately dreams of a life where he has a wife and a few kids and maybe a dog named Marley, but he wakes up from that dream every morning.

Out of everything Dean wants in this world, the one thing he knows he can’t have is you.

He wants to drink up your laugh like the elixir of life whenever you find him funny. He wants to hold your hand whenever the two of you are sitting too close at a bar. He wants to be near you all the time. In ways he never even thought of, that transcends physical touch. He wants to know the inner workings of your mind, the hum of your soul when you eat a good meal after weeks of mediocre diner food, which he knows you get sick of. To understand the smile the creeps up on your face when you get to drive the Impala or the curve of your eyebrows when you concentrate on research.

Dean needs you. He needs your empathetic words when he fucks up. He needs the sweet sound of your voice when you sing in the shower or in the car. He needs the satisfaction of seeing yet another guy get rejected by you.

He needs to wake up.

Why would anyone like you want to be with someone like him? How could an intelligent, confident, and compassionate person like you want to be with a broken shell of a man?

---

One day, after a particularly grueling and gory hunt, Dean found himself watching you as you slam yet another shot glass onto the sticky wooden bar. The light hits your features just enough, and he holds himself back from reaching out and running a finger down the slope of your nose.

Your gaze finally reached his, and the two of you sat there amidst the chaos of yelling and muffled conversations from the other patrons. Your eyes squinted in admiration as you stared at each other.

"What?" Dean's heart was beating faster than he would like to admit. Laughing to ease the growing tensions.

"Your eyes are the perfect shade of spring. You know, like when all the mountains get their color back." You hiccup.

From the years Dean has known you, he doesn't recall a nice thing coming out of your mouth that wasn't prompted by sarcasm or false niceties when you go undercover for a case.

The only memory that comes to mind is when the two of you pretended to be a married couple going to a marriage counselor who turned out to be a man-hating witch adding yet another reason why Dean hates witches.

"What made you fall in love with each other?" The witch asked.

"Oh, you know," You said coyly, avoiding eye contact with the witch.

"I love the way he holds me after a long day from work, makes me laugh, and protects me." You said.

Something like that. Dean buried that memory deep inside his mind in hopes of not hurting himself.

---

"You're drunk." Dean chuckles.

You shake your head,

"I'm serious. You have very pretty eyes, Dean."

He feels like you're being possessed by a demon that has had its eyes on Dean's back since he came back from Hell. To torment him from beyond the pits. To rip him a new one that hurts far more than any wound inflicted on him down there.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." He gets out of his seat to lead you to the car, your index finger locking with his, and Dean swears that his stomach drops to his feet.

It's a small gesture. The smallest, most microscopic gesture in the world. Your fingers interlinked. Pushing past the sea of belligerent drunks in the dimly lit bar, and god knows what on the floor, making his boots crunch and stick to the linoleum.

You giggle. You're giggling as he pulls you closer to the exit. You probably won't remember this in the morning. Dean on the other hand will try to forget, shove it down so far down his memory bank to the point he'll probably imagine it over and over again against his will.

God! What is this? I'm not a 16-year-old boy. Why am I acting like this? He thinks to himself.

The fresh breeze hits your rosy, intoxicated cheeks and Dean's flushing giddiness. You lean on the hood of the car as Dean fiddles with his keys.

"Dean?" Your head dropping and eyes drooping with fatigue.

"Yeah?" He looks up to see you hugging yourself from the wind.

He's standing in front of you, now. Contemplating whether he should manhandle you into the car or indulge in whatever drunken nonsense that might hurt him.

Your perfectly scarred and calloused hands reach out for his, and he eagerly lets you pull him closer to you. Now standing between your legs, he stares at you yet again. Only this time he's confused. He's seen this move in the movies and he's done this countless of times. Dean knows what's about to happen here and he's fully aware that he shouldn't let it happen.

"I- I just wanna tell you-"

What came out of your mouth wasn't what Dean expected.

"I'm proud of you. So so proud of you," you were slurring your words.

"Okay, sweetheart! It's time to go." He backs away.

Pulling him back into your grasp you wrap your arms around his waist and just sit there for a minute. Dean stares into the stars wondering if he should cut this short or relish in your out of character affection.

"I love you." He whispers under his breath.

"I know." You whisper back.

Dean smiles and lets the moment linger for a few more seconds before peeling himself away from your warm embrace and wakes up from his silly little fantasy.

No matter what Dean wants. He can't. He just can't be selfish enough to have you like this. The low hum of the impala and the open road bring him back to reality. There are no happy endings for him.

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction

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ih8frostchildren · 8 months ago

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spiritual hustler tour officially begins in a few days :O

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reccyls · 3 months ago

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Victor's Main Route: Chapter 7

< Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter >

(just a brief warning that this is not a guide, I won't necessarily have all the +4/+4 options since I used a bunch of those elixir items and blasted my way through the route before guides were up. It mostly becomes relevant starting from this chapter. Sorry about that!)

---

After leaving the basement, I made my way towards Victor’s office.

(I still don’t know exactly what I’m going to say…)

But I knew that I had to tell Victor how I really felt.

(First, I need to apologize for slapping his hand.)

I knocked on the door.

Victor: Who is it?

Kate: It’s me. Can I come in?

Victor: Of course, the door isn’t locked.

Slowly, I swung open the door and stepped inside the office.

Victor: Hello Kate, good morning. Or rather, good afternoon.

Victor welcomed me as if nothing had changed while sitting at his desk.

(...Huh?)

I was so surprised by his reaction–or lack of reaction–that I froze in the doorway. When Victor noticed that I hadn’t actually entered yet, he looked up.

Victor: What are you standing there for? Victor: Are you feeling unwell?

Kate: No, I’m okay… Kate: Um. I’ll come in now.

Victor: If you could handle these today, I’d appreciate it.

Kate: Alright.

Finally entering the office for real, I walked up to Victor to collect the work I’d be doing for today. After picking up the reports, I sat down in my normal chair and got ready to focus.

Kate: …

(Isn’t this too normal?)

My mind was racing after we went through our normal routine.

(Am I the only one who’s concerned about yesterday?)

I snuck a glance to Victor from the corner of my eye. He was hard at work as usual. Time passed as it normally did.

(I have to say something.)

Kate: Um, Victor…

Victor: Hm?

When I gathered the courage to speak up, his warm gaze turned in my direction.

Kate: About yesterday–

Victor: I’m very sorry that you had to witness something frightening last night.

Before I could speak, he stopped working immediately and bowed his head to me. I found myself standing up.

Kate: That wasn’t your fault. I was the one who chased after you.

Victor: But that doesn’t change the fact that you were scared. Victor: I promise that you will never see such a thing ever again.

His self-deprecating smile made my heart squeeze.

Kate: No, that’s not the point. You didn’t do anything wrong. Kate: I was the wrong one for being so ignorant.

Victor: Kate?

I reached over for his hand that was resting on his desk. Victor glanced down briefly at the motion, but said nothing.

Kate: No matter how upset I was, I still hit you.

The shape of his hand was so different from my own: large, bony, with long and elegant fingers.

Kate: More than anything else, that is what stuck with me the most from last night.

My fingers brushed against his. Relief flooded through me when he didn’t pull away, but that also made my guilt at rejecting him even stronger.

Kate: I’m so sorry for that.

Victor: …

Still silent, Victor looked at me, then grasped my fingers.

Kate: Wha-

Victor: …You truly have a kind heart.

He laced our fingers tightly together.

Victor: You witnessed a terrible sight, and yet you feel guilty for pushing me away. Victor: If our roles were reversed, I would have blamed you much more.

My heart began to beat faster as the warmth of his palm seeped into mine.

Kate: …I mean, I do have someone I want to blame. Kate: But it’s not you. It’s myself, because I’m the one who needed to be protected. Kate: I really am a useless good for nothing, aren’t I?

Immediately, his fingers tightened.

Victor: No. That isn’t true.

Victor’s gaze was piercing as he looked at our joined hands.

Victor: You’re someone I rely on. You aren’t useless, and you aren’t weak.

Kate: But you’ve been making sure I haven’t seen anyone die, haven’t you? Kate: I know you meant well. But it made me sad, too.

Victor: …What?

Kate: Even if my time here is limited, I am Crown’s Fairytale Keeper. Kate: You drew a line between me and the rest of you. And I… that makes me feel lonely.

I couldn’t bear to look into his sharp eyes any longer, and averted my gaze. Even though I finally said what I needed to, I didn’t feel any relief. I think I had an idea of how he would respond.

Victor: I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.

(I knew it…)

I looked down upon hearing the words I expected. But his continuation came as a surprise.

Victor: I know better than anyone that you’re stronger than anyone else I know.

Kate: What?

Slowly, I raised my head. I met Victor’s gaze as he wore a troubled smile.

Victor: I know that your resolve to fulfil your duties is ironclad. I know that even if you were to witness death, and grieve for those lost, you’ll still be able to keep going on. Victor: From watching you, I know the kind of person that you are. Victor: But even so, I still selfishly wanted to keep you far away from death. Victor: I wanted your world to remain as pure as possible, so that you could return to your old life.

It was as if the warmth of his hand was being conveyed directly to my heart.

Victor: If that has caused you to feel guilty, or sad, then I am truly sorry.

(Just how nice is he?)

Just like that, all my shame, guilt, and frustration disappeared like melting snow. His kindness almost made me want to tear up. Slowly, I opened my mouth to respond.

Kate: For as long as I’ll be here, I want to know everything. Kate: I want to know about what I’d been unaware of because of how I lived my life before. Kate: And I want to know more about you.

Victor: …

Now was the time to ask. My resolve solidified, and I curled my fingers tighter around his. I hoped he would answer me.

Kate: Can you please tell me why those people died? Kate: Did you kill them? …Was that your ability?

The leader of Crown, the queen’s aide, the reaper of the palace. The Victor I knew was bright and kind, and maybe a bit of a tease, but always reliable. And at that time, he definitely said something.

Victor: –evil.

(After hearing what Victor said, those men all collapsed.) (The only thing I can think of that would cause that is a curse.)

He said nothing, but unlaced our fingers and withdrew his hand. That was like an answer in itself.

Victor: There are some things in this world that you’re happier not knowing.

This was another line. But this was different from the last time. The line he drew now was obvious. And he was clearly warning me not to step over it. As I stood there, unsure what to make of it, he picked up his quill and resumed working without another word. I felt a sense of emptiness throughout my entire body, as if my heart had been hollowed out. Similarly silent, I went back to my own work. I accidentally made a mistake, so I scribbled over it. As a chilling loneliness seeped into the hole in my heart, I reflected on why I began helping Victor in the first place.

(...That’s right. I wanted to know more about Victor. That’s why I’m here.) (And if I don’t do anything, nothing will change. We’ll just go back to normal.)

And then my time as Fairytale Keeper would come to an end, and I’ll never know the truth about Victor.

(I’ll only ever know this one face.)

I needed to know more. My hands curled into fists in my lap, wrinkling my skirt.

Kate: Victor.

I made up my mind.

Kate: Even if you won’t tell me about yourself, I’ll learn more about you. Kate: Because that’s what I’m here for.

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise as I threw down the gauntlet.

(As Fairytale Keeper, I’ll learn the truth about him.)

His expression shifted to a grin.

Victor: Do as you please. Victor: I won’t restrict what you do while you’re in the castle. Victor: I have no right to stop you from trying to learn about me, either.

His perfect composure made me feel a little irritated.

Make sure you don’t regret saying that! (+4/+2)

I’ll show you!

Fine, I’ll do what I want!

Kate: Make sure you don’t regret saying that!

Victor: I don’t know how much you’ll learn or how far you’ll get. But… Victor: I don’t go back on my word. Do as you please.

Seeing how worked up I was, he smiled widely.

Victor: You’re always adorable, but you’re extra cute when you’re sulking.

Kate: …!

(You–!!!)

He wasn’t shaken by anything. Not knowing how to retort, I shut my mouth. What drove me wasn’t just my pride as Fairytale Keeper, But I didn’t realize it yet.

-----

Roger: So are you here about my offer after all?

Kate: No!

Roger paused his reading and adjusted his glasses, laughing heartily. As soon as I finished my work, I immediately headed back for the basement. I had a singular purpose.

Kate: You have everyone’s medical charts, don’t you? Kate: I want to see Victor’s.

However, Roger made a face.

Roger: I can show it to you if you really wanted. But the only thing on there is his height.

Kate: Huh?

Roger: I’ve tried to properly fill it out but he’s always dodged me every time I try to give him an examination.

Kate: You're kidding me…

If Roger had everyone’s medical files, then he had to have had some information about Victor. Or so I thought… I’d ran all the way back to the basement for nothing.

Roger: Trying to find his weak spots?

Kate: Well, that’d technically count as information. But I mostly just want to know more about Victor.

Roger: I see. But I don’t really know much about him myself. Roger: There’s no one who’s really as close to him as you are right now, I don’t think. Roger: If there’s anything you don’t know about him, maybe William would?

Kate: He’s out of town for a mission today.

(He’ll only be back the day after tomorrow so I can’t ask him anything now.)

My shoulders slumped in disappointment. Rubbing his chin, Roger thought for a while and then made a suggestion.

Roger: It’s probably a long shot, but why don’t you ask the rest of Crown what they know? Roger: Things like, “What kind of person is Victor?”

(That is probably the best thing I can do right now.)

Kate: Then let’s not waste any time. What kind of person do you think Victor is?

I repeated his own question back at him. Still, he had to pause to think.

Roger: Someone who you can’t tell what he’s really thinking.

Kate: Anything else? Kate: It doesn’t have to be important things. Likes and dislikes work too.

Maybe there’d be something I didn’t know in those little bits of information. I looked expectantly at Roger, who seemed exasperated.

Roger: It’s not like we’re good friends or anything. Roger: He’s my boss, I work for him. That’s as far as our relationship goes. Roger: I don’t know things like what food he likes, or what he likes in a woman.

Kate: …What he likes in a woman…

(What kind of person would Victor like?)

The topic had never come up before, but I was suddenly extremely curious about it. However, Roger didn’t seem interested at all.

Roger: You’re better off asking one of the others. This isn’t my forte.

Kate: Thanks. I’ll do that.

I likely wouldn’t get any further here, so I said my thanks and started walking to the exit. Roger turned back to his book. But–

Roger: Oh yeah, one more thing, actually.

Kate: What is it?

Roger scratched the back of his head and responded.

Roger: Victor seems like he’d be a pain to get involved with.

…

Elbert: “What kind of person is Victor?” …He’s cheerful. And strange. Elbert: He seems like he has everything… However he did it, I want it too… Elbert: “Is he a Cursed One?” …I don’t know. I’ve never seen him use an ability…

…

Liam: “What kind of person is Victor?” Hmmm, he’s really good at magic tricks, and he’s very funny. Liam: He’s the reason why I could join Crown, so I’m really thankful to him. Liam: “Is Victor a Cursed One?” Well, I haven’t seen him use his ability so I can’t tell. Liam: What do you think?

…

Alfons: “What kind of person is Victor?” I suppose he’s a person who’s very benevolent to us Cursed Ones. Alfons: Though, who knows what’s on the inside. Alfons: “Is he a Cursed One?” …I don’t know. He’s full of mysteries, that one. Alfons: But more importantly, I’m headed into town for some fun tonight, would you like to join me?

…

Ellis: “What kind of person is Victor?” …He’s a little bit weird, I guess. Ellis: When I ask him questions, sometimes he avoids it, and sometimes he just tells me not to ask.

Jude: That’s ‘cause it’s you askin’. Jude: You’re off your rocker for trying to get close to someone like him. Jude: Hah? “Is he cursed?” Beats me.

Ellis: If he has an ability, I’ve never seen him use it. Not even once. Ellis: Maybe he isn’t a Cursed One after all.

…

(I didn’t get any of the information I was hoping for.)

I ran around Crown’s castle asking the other members about Victor for the rest of the day, and before I knew it, night had fallen.

(William’s not here today, and I already heard a bit from Harrison before…)

I sat down on my bed as I went over today’s results in my head. The way Crown viewed Victor wasn’t much different than how I did. The Victor of that night seemed like a totally different Victor than the one that Crown knew. And what's more, nobody had ever seen Victor use an ability before.

(What happened that night must have been unexpected even for Victor.)

Kate: …All I have are questions without any answers…

Getting up, I made my way to my desk and reached for my music box. Its gentle melody drifting through the night made my heart feel just a little bit lighter.

#ikemen villains #victor (ikevil)#my translation

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the-midnight-blooms · 10 months ago

Text

VISIONS OF YOU | cs

masterlist

Trope: Forbidden Love

Choi San.

Borne from the roots of a pious tree, sprung from the ashes of his father's shadow was the Kingdom of Qiān's esteemed Crown Prince, scholar, charming bachelor and skilled swordsman. His name roamed in the villages of foreign nations, where the people believed his rubric was the elixir of eternal strength and beauty. For his mere presence intoxicated weakened souls, harbouring an essence of rebirth within the individuals that sook a replenished health. Though it was merely an old wives tale, Choi San was indeed a potent, renown individual who rose to power after the death of his predecessor: King Choi.

King Choi, on to contrary to his beloved son, was by no means the greatest King to ever rule over the ambitious lands neither was he the poorest. Though, he was the reaction intermediate, used to form something much more powerful. A much more historical ruler ascended to the throne in his wake.

The once coddled prince, who spent his carefree childhood sauntering the seven seas, reading books until the stars blurred into the dawn, playing chess with the strategists, could no longer escape from responsibility. His father's weakened hold on his hand had almost drained the life out of him. Momentarily, he had felt soul meander towards his ancestors; though they had rejected him.

Show them how powerful a King can be.

Hunched over a small desk, in a large tent, sat Lieutenant Seok- Qiān's first female high-ranking officer. With a quill fixed between her nimble fingers and a sore back, she scribbled away at her commanding officers report transcribing his poorly written work for the King. The dim light from the candle swayed in the desolate tent, bending to the will of small wisps of wind that flooded in through the slits between canvas fabric. With a tired sigh, she settled down her pen at last exercising the tense fibres in her muscles. A patter of loud footsteps ascended from outside the tent, her head piqued up as the fabric tore revealing Major Seong, his eyebrows creased in irritation as he stalked towards her.

"Hand me that." Snatching the sheet in front of her, her hands remained hovered in the air repressing the urge to roll her eyes at his short-tempered antics. His stern, hazel eyes peered over the sheet down at her as she stretched out her arms to correct the complacent stiffness. "King San requests your attendance his office. Major Baek will be there too." Momentarily, the Lieutenant felt a pulse of shock run through. The King requests my presence? She wasn’t aware that the esteemed King knew who she was. After all, her superiors had made many attempts to dissolve the rumours of there being a female military official. It didn't occur to her why, surely that was something to be proud of, yes- it defied convention but this could potentially further Qiān's image internationally catalysing the need for society to become modernised. Besides the Royal Army had, historically, suffered from a shortage of its members-if women had to fill the shoes of men then so be it. Unfortunately, her commanding officers did not share her contemporary mindset so she left the advocation for her less passive successor.

"Hurry up or it'll be off with our heads." Major Seong deadpanned, apologising profusely she shot out of her seat grabbing her jacket off the back off the chair before disappearing out of the tent.

Lieutenant Seok dashed through the ostentatious palace walls, her boots smacking against the marble floor heart pounding against her chest. Fixing the lapel of her jacket, she snatched a quick glance at her appearance through the blade of the guard's spear.

Chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.

A slight nod, and the heavy doors to the King's office were heaved open, the crystal white paint of the room blaring in her eyes. At the top, first and foremost sat the King's ebony chair and desk, along the expanse of the wall behind him was a bookcase full of books, the vestigial walls plastered with portraits of the preceding Kings. Large royal blue velvet curtains hung over baroque windows, reminiscent of the crests symbolic metallic silver and deep blue colours. Her own uniform was a navy blue jacket, shoulders padded with an expensive silver beadwork, and a long pleated skirt. Along her breast jacket sat her ribbon rack, adorned with all of the honorary medals she obtained during her service. Elegantly, she strode down the aisle; the King's careful eyes following her as she fell into a deep bow.

"Your Highness." She rose with grace too, hands firmly fixed at her sides, lowering her gaze before the King. "I am Lieutenant Seok." San cocked his head to the side, raising from his seat. Major Baek, the mentor to Seok stood adjacent to the King's desk sending a small sheepish smile, an odd emotion lingering behind it that she could not quite put her finger on. He was an old man, of about late sixties with thinning grey hair and a crinkled smile that stuck on his face throughout his life. He was renown for being the more compassionate of military officials she had ever come across, immediately taking the younger girl under his wing as soon as she stepped foot into the camps.

Being the only female lieutenant was more threatening to the cause than inspiring. Typically, women were not allowed to serve, in the military, unless they were Nurses or Administrators. Despite this, Lieutenant Seok's quick wits and admirable strength had her soaring through the rankings though she hated to admit that her father's occupation as Military Strategist may have been what allowed her to even step foot on the soil, or even what got Major Baek to show her some kindness. They loved to remind her of that. Though he was not the one to get her that far. Hell he had even died before the thought of joining the military had even crossed her mind.

The King rose from his chair, moving to stand in front of his desk waving a stack of papers in hand. Her eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, she shifted her gaze to Major Baek who only avoided eye contact.

"Here, I have all of Major Seong's reports. Very meticulous, very well-written. Such is what I expect of my men." The pulse of her heart rose, blood rushed through her veins at a palpable speed, clenching her pleated skirts within the tight fist of her sweaty palms. Had he realised that she was the one writing all of his reports? "Except there's a slight problem and I need you to fix it for me." San provoked, she shifted uncomfortably under his hard stare.

"Look at me whilst I speak to you." Her eyes widened, was this King deranged? Who dared to even look into the King's eyes? Tentatively, lifting her chin, she bored into his crescent eyes. His high cheekbones and defined jawline created an intimidating impression, a current of virtue circulated around him as he spoke. His robes accentuated his broad shoulders and cinched waist. "In the Battle of Myeongnyang, by how many men was Admiral Yi Sun-Shin outnumbered?"

"333 to 13." Lieutenant Seok answered before San could blink, he fought back the smirk dancing on his lips.

"In which battle did he die?"

"Battle of Noryang on December 16, 1598."

"Exactly as its written here." San held up the report again, sharing a look with Major Baek that she failed to read. "So when I asked Major Seong, why did he say Pyeongyang?" Oh God. She thought as quickly as she could, reeling her mind through ways to answer the King.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Your Highness." she answered, settling upon the weakest argument one could make.

"He said December 14, 1598. I don't think this is a mistake Lieutenant. Now, I'm not concerned that our military officials don't know our countries history. I should be, but I'm not. This here." He shook the paper as furiously as he could. "Means nothing. But I asked him to recite basic facts from this report and he stuttered like a man with a lisp." Flinching at the King's harsh insult, she fixed her gaze to the ground again realising that the King knew that all along she was writing Major Seong's reports for him, which was one of the biggest crimes one could commit as a member of the Royal Army.

"I could ask you, on the other hand, and you would read this off like it's the back of your hand. Do not lie to me, Lieutenant, have you or have you not been writing Major Seong's reports and carrying out his duties which are significantly above your pay grade?" The King's voice seethed with anger, a large gust of wind emptied into the tense atmosphere as if the wind itself was mirroring his vexation. Once again, she fleeted her gaze back to her mentor who was painfully silent during this assembly. "I asked you, not him."

"Yes." She responded, weakly. "I did, Your Highness." San sighed, dropping the reports on the table with a loud thud. He didn't need to question why, he already knew that despite the fact that she was a particularly hard-working individual committed to carrying out her duties diligently, she was also just a woman- being punished for her sex.

"As you know, every King gets to choose his General. I have to be able to trust that my General can lead me into war and win." He paused, a breath hitched in the night's air. "How does General Seok sound?" Her eyes lit up at the sound of ‘General’ in front of her name, the urge to gasp out and cry was hanging heavy on her tongue. Looking into Major Baek’s eyes, they were full of joy and admiration for his mentee. Prior to this meeting, he had spoken with the King, believing it was time Qiān had elevated their distinguished reputation further through their first ever female General.

"With all due respect, Your Royal Highness, there are many Majors and Lieutenant Colonels who have much more leadership experience and the desired skill set to fill this role. I am not sure if I possess the qualities that you are seeking." Besides, why had he even called her into his office? To humiliate her before giving her the title of General, to prove that even though she would have the power of the military in the palm of her hands-above all King San held a more divine power that only she could dream of?

San saw in both her eyes and her slight discomfort of her face, that it pained her to say such words. Then why did she say them? Was it the fear of being rejected by those who looked down on her? The fear that accepting this esteemed position would exacerbate the conditions she was living in. Men hated powerful women, history made that story known. Though, there was something about the woman before him being by his side, ruling his Royal Army that magnetised him.

“I disagree. You are General Officer Seok’s daughter, who helped us win a number of battles. Before he died, he told me you would win a thousand wars for Qiān.” Major Baek inputted. She always thought that her father had a hyperactive imagination; simply put he said the things he said to motivate his daughter. But her father was never wrong.

Is this not what she always wanted? Was King San not giving it to her on a hot silver platter dish? Yet, did this not mean her hands would be drenched in blood even more than it already was?

“Sacrifices have to be made, pet. In war, you sacrifice your sanity.”

"I accept this position." Falling into another deep bow, she rose as a wilted plant once did when it was blessed with water from the skies after a deserted period. "Thank you, my King. I promise I won't let you down."

General Seok strode down to her office situated in the East Wing of the castle, yet a distance from the King’s quarters. It was usually derelict at this time yet as she walked down she felt the burning stare of a hundred military officials, all jealous of her rank. She recounted the wave of discontentment that spun over the room like a wild fire, all questioning their noble King’s decision. Her mind fixated over the way her name reverberated through the room, a wave of gasps infiltrating the tense air. The officials heads snapping towards her, their mouths gaped.

"Men will never take you seriously if you are too afraid to look them in the eye." Staring at her father from across the chessboard, she bit her lower lip. "Are you afraid of me, my child?" Shaking her head no, she captured his bishop with her rook. With a contented humph, her father got up.

"Then look at me next time, when you have won. Show me that you are more powerful than Generals, wits great enough to be our Queen."

Pushing past the door to The General’s office, the large room was wavering with a warmth, the shut of the door silencing the bustle of movement outside the wall. Bookcases were plastered across the walls of the room, the palace brimmed with profound knowledge each published piece of literature could be found in Qiān's halls. A large mahogany table with a soft leather chair resided by the glass pane windows overlooking the garden. On a much smaller table, in the far corner, sat a chessboard- two chairs on opposite ends. A bundle of ink quilled pens rested above the table, a stack of plain books on the right hand corner. Sighing, she dropped the pile of books in her hand onto the table.

“War is looming over us. Freyr will not rest until they have seized our lands and we will not rest until we have secured ours." Over several generations, from the beginning of time when Kingdoms were forged from molten rock, a foreign tension bloomed between two of the most powerful nations of Earth. For the longest time, Qiān had always been imperilled with the possibility of war; they had just been harmless threats from a King that was too dim to strike against an equally powerful nation that would cause mutually assured destruction. Until now, King Jeong proved one of the more impulsive of Kings from his ancestors. Her kingdom's safety was now at stake and she needed to protect it with her life. "Over the next few weeks we need to prepare for a potential war-” She was cut off by the grumblings of the militia.

"I will not have a woman lead me into a war."

"How pitiful, death awaits for you from the male Generals that have this country running in blood."

"You sound incredibly confident, General, that you'll lose the least number of men." One mocked, the crowd of men let out a taunting laughter only be silenced as San rose from his chair.

"Had I believed we'd conquer this war by a man, would I have not chose him to stand by my side? Do you think me unintelligible of making a wise decision?" A deafening silence punctured her ears, her head dipped under his omnipresence. Did they go reticent out of sheer embarrassment or because they thought that King San would be one to disperse their Kingdom into ashes? Granted, her first assembly as General was a disaster, the uproar from her comrades induced a thumping headache; her forehead hit against her table a long groan escaping from her lips out of sheer exhaustion.

"My, my General-you're going mad already." Hastily, she jerked up her head straightening her posture as the King slumped into the chair opposite her desk. When did he enter?

"Your Highness, should I call for some tea?" San snickered, dimples adorning his cheeks. His heart fluttered slightly at her disorientation he could not put his finger why. Perhaps it was that for the first time, the organised, composed General had been caught off guard by his surprise visit. There was something so domestic about the fact that she was summoning tea for him; he didn’t even get to say ‘No thank you, I’ve had three cups already and it’s one in the evening.’

Certainly, the woman before him was beautiful- he noted that on first sight. He did not know how to feel now that he assigned her the role as his General. The whole world could see her sacred beauty, she was not something for him to lock up in a treasure chest and keep her all to himself. How dare she sway his heart into unchartered seas that San had spent the duration of his life running away from.

“Your Highness, the maids have told me that you haven’t had lunch yet. Perhaps we can have tea another time.” She stood by the doorway, arms folded as if she was his wife scolding him on his lack of appetite.

“First of all, I didn’t come for tea.” Her face heated up in embarrassment; pressed in her palms in realisation that she had jumped to a sudden conclusion. “Secondly, I’m not hungry. I’ll drink your tea anyway.” Huffing, she grabbed the tea tray from the maid thanking her before shutting the door with her foot. She picked up the porcelain teapot, the air fulfilled with the aroma of Jasmine tea; tranquillity succeeded the exhaustion felt by both King and his General.

“Jasmine tea?” San questioned, he preferred green tea with its grassy undertone. Jasmine tea was too floral for him.

“Yes, it’s good for calmness and mental clarity.”

“So that’s your secret, lots of Jasmine tea.” She nodded, placing the teacup in front of him. He sucked in a breath before raising the cup to his lips. Oh, it’s sweet. A lot sweeter than the cups he had been forced to drink as a child.

“I added honey.” The General added, on cue as if she had read his thoughts. “With respect Your Highness, if it wasn’t tea you came for: how can I help you?” He settled down the cup, clearing his throat.

“I excused Major Seong. As of tomorrow morning, he will be a normal civilian working in his father’s farm. He’s best off serving the country in another way.” Her chest heaved in shock, she leaned back in her chair chewing on her lip as she could not help but feel that she was to blame.

“He was still the best of us.” She retorted, after a long, painful silence.

“Not good enough. Otherwise I wouldn’t have dismissed him. Also, I don’t know if Major Baek has told you but he is retiring.” With her elbows perched on the desk, her face rested within her palms.

“Don’t you have anything good to tell me, Your Majesty.” He laughed, shaking his head at her forlorn attitude.

“Call me San.” He retorted, the beauty of his name flew her heart into oblivion. “Tell me something, that reads like poetry.” He blurted, though his claim was abrupt a part of her understood where he came from. Tell me what’s on your mind, he wanted to say.

Tell me what your deepest wish is so that I can fulfil it.

“I believe, in a hundred years time, my successor will be the vessel that tells the people of Qiān that a woman’s rule can be as bold and as true as a man’s.” His eyes narrowed, infatuation settling into his heart, bewitched by his General's moving words. “I will be the woman to win the wars against our enemies. She will be the one to win against society.” A comfortable quietude penetrated the tense atmosphere, San sat still in his chair, afraid to make a sound as he swallowed her words with a heavy heart. For the first time since his father's death, he felt weak. As if he wanted to fight the war, that she was fighting, with her. Her wish was one those that even as omnipotent as he was, he could not fulfil.

"I shall take your leave. Enjoy the office." Smiling, San strode out of the room, his powerful aura remained suspended in the air in his absence.

Within the subsequent weeks General Seok was burdened with bourgeoning responsibility, abetting a series of migraines that not even Jasmine tea could fix. They ranged from completing reports, training soldiers, attending her own training-during the day that was. Then at night, she read books on the Freyr-learning about their language, culture, and then reading upon all of their wars. She managed to find books on previous Generals that served the Freyr Kingdom, noting their battle strategies. She became reserved to her study, papers scrawled across the floor, hooking up drawing pins as she noticed trending schemes. There were multiple different outcomes, like a game of chess. One move by the opponent unravelled up to ten to the power of a hundred and twenty-three potential outcomes, much like war and its soldiers.

"You just started your job and it's already exhausting you." Her mother claimed, as she placed her book on her nightstand. Sat at the foot of her bed, the elderly woman looked at her daughter's tired eyes-witnessing the same determined gaze; once held by her husband.

"I know, a big position only means more responsibility. Besides, I think I've got most things worked out. I have a meeting with the King, tomorrow and then the whole day to myself." Letting out a stifled yawn, she sunk into her cotton sheets hair sprawled across the pillow.

"You've been busy, General." With a single nod, she watched as San drew his eyes down her veraciously detailed report. A pair of round glasses sat at the bridge of his nose, she could not help but notice how they heightened the sharp features of his face. "Your work ethic is incredible, even I don't think I could have done this in the time span you did. You can rest now."

It did not occur to her that she had fallen asleep in the King's office, right in front of His Majesty's eyes. The sight of her tenacity lead his heart to swoon a little. General Seok was a sight to behold, especially with the way the soft afternoon light streamed in through the window, beaming across her face forging a halo. Her hair which was usually straightened and fastened tightly behind her shoulders had become loose from its knot. She breathed gingerly; the strands of hair that fell structurally over her face drifting as the air spun around it. He wanted to outstretch his hand and brush the hair from her face.

"I need tighter security, here." she ordered, pointing to the farming village, the kingdom's most vulnerable district. "If I were the Freyr, I would attack here. It's unscrutinised and connects to the Valley-perfect for pushing equipment and aid through. We need to block any shipment through these borders." The valley connected to the farming village became one of the fundamental ways that the Freyr and Qian people traded over centuries.

Gathered in the War Room, the military officials were all stood around large chestnut table, a map of the world and it's seven seas. Adjacent was a black box, which she recognised as holding pawns, figurines, as well as odd bits of trinkets. The dark walls were plastered with weapons of all sorts, a preview of all the artillery they held in the War Inventory. Despite the spectrality in the thin air, there was an odd sense of comfort to be found here. Something like she could spend the rest of her days trapped within these four walls and she'd be surprisingly at comfort with it.

"If we close the bridge, how will we trade?" Major Baek questioned.

"We can trade at the Centre." Her finger fell over the busiest and the most surveyed port in Qiān. "Let's just tell them it's closed for repair." An influx of complacency infiltrated the room. Her eyes glanced towards San, who was staring intently at the map over her shoulders, with a calculating look.

“We’ll have to have a talk with the foreign diplomats, otherwise good job General.” With a single nod, he left from the room signalling the end of the meeting. All left except Major Baek, sat in front of her, sipping on the Jasmine tea she had called for.

“You’re doing incredibly well, dear. If it’s any reassurance.” A genuine smiled plastered on her, soothing the agitation in her muscles.

“It is. I can’t believe you’re retiring. What was a few more years? I can’t do this without you.”

“You can, you already are. Besides it’s not like I was ever going to become General.” He joked, they shared a small laugh that echoed in the dim light of the War Room, where for the last time: the man who had treated her as if she was his own daughter was soon to be a name written in a history book, his memory lost to the wind.

General Seok found that the women of the palace grew indifferent towards her success for they taunted her with dirty looks as she surpassed them. Their snake like tongues spat venomous rumours, claiming that whenever she entered the King's chambers she was carried with a promiscuous sense of duty. To which this enraged her but there was simply nothing she could do, because they were just rumours; there was no substantial proof that they were rallying against her.

"Here comes the whore." They sang in an undignified manner as she strode down the hallways, a book pressed against her chest. Biting down on her lip so she did not release a snarky remark, she merely ignored them as their giggles venerated through the hallways. Pushing through the doors to his chambers, Seok entered his bedroom finding him sat by the balcony reading a book. Her anger had diminished at the sight of him, following the pout of his pink lips, the crease between his eyes as he revelled the words; the breeze tousled his hair. Within this moment he was no longer the King that ruled over his kingdom with a tight fist and sharp mind but rather an amiable man with a thirst for knowledge. Clearing her throat, his head craned to find her standing by his desk. A strand of hair fell over his dark eyes, he rose from his seat; gaze travelling up and down her body.

“You’re dressed like a bride.” He blurted. My bride. Clearing his throat as his cheeks blushed pink, he stuttered over his words, "Eastern brides traditionally wear red on their weddings days." Handing over the book, she sat herself down on the chair, dazing out of the window. To think of it, why did she always dress so ostentatiously around San? Was it his nobility that intimidated her? Or the need to live up to the King's standards as his General?

"What's wrong?" San chimed. She shook her head, as if there was nothing wrong with herself. Maybe the women were right, she was gnawing at his attention trying to keep him to herself. There was no denying Choi San was beautiful with his sleek dark chair, cut-throat jawline, his angelic eyes, his benefaction. His concern whenever she tired herself, slaving herself over her work. Then came his desire to stand next to her in every meeting, his body pressed close to hers fighting of all of the griping stares as she fought gruellingly to protect their kingdom.

"Nothing, nothing." With a wave of her hand, she brushed him off. He slumped down onto the chair opposite her, chin resting with the palm of his hands cupping the sides of his cheeks.

"Oh its something, something." His crescent eyes peered into hers, she wanted nothing more than to delicately kiss them. Then to drag her lips over the bridge of his nose and then his plump lips. "Is it not your duty to share the people's concerns?"

"No because I am not a member of parliament." She quipped, with a smirk that made him scoff. "My duty is to protect you."

"But you did not protect me from you." He got up from his seat, walking around the table to face her. His hands outstretched towards her face, tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ear, with his lips dangerously close to her own, she basked in the sight of her King as a hungry soul reaching for the fruits of love to which only she could hand down to him.

“San, what am I to you, if not your general?”

"You are my heart and my soul. You are what keeps me beating, and what brings me back to life every morning. You are everything I want and even more. It is painful to be so in love with you, so tell me you don't love me and free me from this anguish." As if he had knocked the life out of her, her body glissaded under his devotion. How cruel of him to beg her to purge herself of the profound emotions she held for him. Did she not want him too, in all ways whether it may be forbidden?

"We shouldn't do this." Her mutter reached to him through a series of rough, passionate kisses-a fire burning wherever his touch lingered upon her skin.

"Then tell me to stop" But she could not as her hands ran into his hair. Her every scent pulled the strings of his heart, every pulse was hers as their arms circulated around each other in the darkness of his chambers. Every touch felt as if they would never feel again, every sight relished as if they would never see again. Their clandestine marriage of hearts was so potent, it was enough to send them into a drunken haze for eternity.

The Royal Palace was struck with chaos- servants bustling around in desperate attempts to create an illustrious image of decadence, in honour of Qiān's annual banquet held in order to improve international relations. This year it was to celebrate the strong tradesmanship formed between the Qiān and the East. That also included inviting their enemy, Freyr, to maintain an image of agreement to their people. Of course, this enraged her as the Freyr became more hostile, finding multiple ways to pose threats on their country. For all she knew, they could see this as a perfect opportunity to strike as the Qiān would not want to damage foreign relations by keeping a tight security. Having raised this with the other military commanders, they all mocked her by deeming her paranoid.

“I agree.” San’s cold voice bellowed over the War Room. “Our allies may perceive our tightened security as a threat. The Freyr were already adamant to not attend the ball, convincing them was hard enough.”

“Your Highness, this is exactly what they want. We should at least have tighter security at the border and ports.” He shook his head in disagreement, a pang of annoyance jutting through her.

“Stand down, General. You are not a member of parliament.” Swallowing the lump in her throat, she sunk her head in humiliation. He had never disagreed so bluntly before, if he had ever disagreed: he would raise the point so gently or provide another solution, not outright dissipate her suggestions. Later that day she was huddled up in a chair in her office; finishing up the finality of her report. She was so wrought with exhaustion she wished for some comfort. A pair of arms would soothe the headache from the burden of stress that persisted on her shoulders. As soon as she walked in through the doors to his chambers, he invited her with a look of irritation.

“What do you want?” He snapped, flinching at the harshness of his tone- she rushed forward to hand the report to him. Next time she’d hand it to the Royal Secretariat if he was going to act this way. Turning on her heel, she hurried out of his chambers biting down her quivering lip. Wrapping her arms around herself, as if it would reprimand the damages he inflicted upon her.

Hidden behind a pillar, her head was thrown back-hands pressed over her abdomen in order to soothe the persisting ache residing. San's voice carried out of the room, to which she listened to his manufactured speech which rendered their hearts into submission. General Seok, herself, was clad in an embellished silver dress her ears and neck were bejewelled in a matching set of silver with the infamous General’s sword to her hip. Her eyes peered through the open doors to the ballroom-a sea of fabrics enveloping the white marble ceilings as a cacophony of sounds emptied into the room. Despite its elegance, an ominous feeling was pensile within the humidity, a dark cavern with a haunting soul ready to be unleashed onto the crowd. It was too liable, susceptible to attack.

Something felt off.

At the top through the window, she noticed a glint penetrate through the glass. The silhouette of a sharp blade pointing down in San’s direction as he spread his arms wide summoning the attention of the nobles. Her hand reached for the hilt of the sword, but the figure retreated. Instead, she sought a shadow move closer across the skylines, as soon as he placed one foot on the chandelier, his arrow pointed straight at the King of Qiān. Swiftly, she stole a knife from the nearest guard. His bowstring pulled back. Dashing towards San, she drove his body into the floor as the arrow penetrated through the air, landing less than a foot away from his feet. Chucking the blade into the air, the dagger pierced through the rope holding up the chandelier- the glass sinking in the ground releasing a camaraderie of panicked screams.

Unsheathing her sword, she struck down at him only to strike again, the rim slicing through the surface of his skin. This time, he pounded a harsh blow against her to which the colliding of his weapon against hers created a screech loud enough to bleed ears; the sword in her steadfast grip was growing heavy and acuminating at her tiredness. The attacker stumbled backwards, falling to his knees under her powerful blow. The full length of her blade impaled through his heart, ripping the seams that held his soul together- blood bursting from its banks. A breath hitched in his throat, a loud thud gratified the throne room. Her hands shook as the adversaries screams mimicked the cries emptying into her detached soul; thick scarlet blood painting her fingers as her body roamed through the folds of his dead body. Bingo. Ripping the crest from his body, she threw it at San's feet.

“I want this castle searched for any more intruders.” When the Royal Guards did not move, rage flooded through her. “Now!” She roared, parading out of the room.

Her back slid slowly down the wall of the War Room, tears sliding down her cheeks. Tucking up her knees to her chest- her body wracked as an excruciating wail echoed into the room. General Seok felt the derisive stare of the chess pieces, the maps, the strategy books. What kind of General was she? One who could barely protect her king. They were right. All of them: the nobles, the ministers, officials, the noblewomen and even the servants. A woman was in no position to protect the country, she had spent hours, days and weeks cooped up drawing out plans, playing out schemes in her head, sketching them out like role play over the board. All of that work seemed futile now that the enemy was daring enough to unleash an attack against the King. The painful creak of the door snapped at her attention, she roughly wiped away her tears with her sleeve a harsh stare befalling on her face.

“I thought I told-Your Majesty.” Her rough tone transgressed into a soft voice as she bowed deeply, San rushing into the room.

“Are you ok? You’re not hurt, are you?” She shook her head no, avoiding his gaze. “My love, look at me.” Hesitantly, her red eyes bored into his own. Cupping her cheeks, he pressed his lips to her forehead. That was enough to break her walls again. Digging her face into his neck, she erupted into a fit of sobs, her weary body slumping against his robes. His slender fingers pulled out the clip to ease the strident tug of her hair gnawing at her scalp; his hold around her waist tightening.

“I should have listened to you. The faults mine.” Lifting her head she looked at him, mouth parted as if to reason. Placing a finger on her lips, he silenced her. “No- none of this was your fault. You couldn’t have possibly known any of this was going to happen. In fact, you told me this was a possibility and I didn’t listen. It was an uncharacteristic and a foolish attack. General Seok, we have the upper hand now.”

"That's what they want us to think. God, San, my head hurts. I'm struggling. I can't come to terms with what they want."

"For now, you need to rest. You must be exhausted."

"I can't rest. Tomorrow the officials will be at my necks. 'General Seok you never saw this coming, did you?', 'This is why you should leave it to the men.' They won't see how I almost sacrificed my life to save yours, they'll only see the fact that you were endangered in the first place."

"I've warranted a search for the rest of the attackers around our villages too. More royal guards have been posted, security is much tighter. King Jeong seemed unsurprised, but not his son. This was an attack by Freyr. I saw the crest" He ambled towards her, sinking to his knees in front of her. Her breath hitched in her throat, a king kneeling to his servant? Had this man gone mad? His hand drifted towards her cheek, “You need sleep. You’re unwell, my General.”

"Get up, if anyone sees you kneeling before me, it will look nasty for the pair of us." He shook his head.

"I don't think I care." Encasing an arm around her neck and under her knees, he effortlessly lifted her up from the chair. "Don't say anything." he warned, walking to the other end of the room towards the large banner pinned to the wall. Moving the fabric with a few fingers, he grunted twisting the door handle. Leaning against him, her eyes fluttered to a close as he surpassed into the hidden passageway. The next morning, she was prescribed with escorting the Crown Prince of Freyr, Yunho to his carriage. They strode down to the horses in silence, wind brushed against them, left with tired sighs and quiet hums to serenade the airs.

"You are ok, aren't you General?" Nodding gratefully at his compassion, they stood outside his carriage, ready to exchange their final goodbyes. Yunho, himself, despite his incredibly tall stature, and depictable strength, held more altruism in the tip of his finger than his father held in his whole body. In comparison to King Jeong, whose violent tendencies and insatiable appetite for destruction was now the impending cause of his deteriorating health, he was renown for his charity work and advocating for peace instead of war. However, at times she could not help but think he was executing a carefully constructed façade to move the hearts of the Qiān officials. Primarily, herself. For she sought the way that he looked at with the same level of infatuation that San had. "I'd love to get to know you General and I feel as if soon we will be obliged to work more closely together. I know you understand that our countries enmity is a product of egotism, which I hope we can soon come to a conclusion on." Her head nodded slowly, as Yunho have her one last final smile before entering his carriage.

The officials were bashful in the following meeting. A few spoke of an outbreak of a plague, San walking into the meeting late addressing the militia's concern.

"The village is under lockdown?" she questioned.

"Yes, and some villagers were on their way to Freyr too." A thought processed through her mind, vaguely. They needed something against Freyr. Something to make them pay for attacking her Kingdom.

"Nothing is immoral in war, pet." her father beamed at her as she sat in his bedroom reading through his journal. "Don't let emotions cloud your judgement, the second it does? You're as good as dead."

"That's it, Mr Seok! Stop trying to turn our daughter into a tyrant!" Her mother’s cry clamoured into her bedroom. Sharing a smile with her father she turned back to her book.

"What if we sent some of them to Freyr?"

"We can't do that, there'd be an ou-." Her cunning grin censored his reasoning.

"Can we not?" she challenged, the officials all shared a look. "Meeting adjourned." Is this what you meant Father, when you said nothing, in war, was immoral?

Nestling her head in the crook her neck, she sat on his laps staring out into the dusk. Pressing his lips to her cheeks, he breathed her in as if she was oxygen.

“The council is talking about your marriage now, aren’t they?” He hummed in agreement, sadness provoking through her. Was it possible for them to be together for eternity? Could she be both General and Queen? Perhaps she was getting ahead of herself, what if his intentions weren’t marriage? What if he wanted a little bit of fun? As if he read her thoughts, he rested a hand upon her cheek to console her.

"I’ll find my way to you, if not I’ll make my way.” But just how would he make his way to her, when he could not even do as much as hold her hand for longer than a minute under the table? How would he do so, when he had to drag her into the nearest empty room to stoop her into a dulcet kiss for a mere second before they played their respective roles again? The sweetest things are forbidden. The things you desired the most are the ones you cannot have. Therefore, did she desire him more than she desired to be great and true? Was it love that she was seeking rather than power and intellect?

It was one or the other. It was San or General. How could the universe make her choose? It was like when she was asked if she preferred her mother or her father. When she was younger she always chose whoever had bowed to her wishes and pleased her the most. Her father-tending to her every need whereas her mother taught her that patience would give you more than what you desired. What was she to do now? She waited, and she became Qiān's acclaimed military official standing next to their eminent King. What would the people think? What would the naval think? They already hated the fact that she ruled over them, but as their Queen no witty remark would slip past her.

“I can make you my wife, right here and right now.” I love you, but I can't have you. "Marry me and let me make you Qiān's most powerful queen."

"San, do you think they like the fact that a woman has to tell them how to win a war? Do you think they'll like me even more when I become their queen? Your duty to this kingdom is to be its face, to unite, create stability between yourself and the people. Mine is to protect."

"You also have a duty to your heart. What does it want?” The booming of their incessant souls prevailed, the strings attached to them, curtailing. His tantalising aura pulled her in, yet the fact that she could not have him drew her away. It hurt that he did not belong to her, having spent the remainder of her life ruled by rationality than emotion, she knew it was better to let go of what she desired.

"It wants you. But we can't always have what we want. We have to live with that San."

"Then I won't marry. This kingdom can die with me, for all I care. After my death they can tear this palace apart. When my ancestors ask me why I broke their legacy, I'll say I fell in love."

"Don't be ridiculo-."

"I am irrevocably in love with you. My heart beats to your name, I'd abdicate-" Her hands pressed up against his lips. Tears rushing to front of her eyes.

I want you, I want you so badly.

"San, you fool.” she sobbed, her hands sliding down his face before settling on his chest.

"Can't you see? I'm a fool for you." He kissed away her tears, slowly inching towards her lips. The taste of it so sweet, so divine, something to get drunk on every night until her soul was too intoxicated to stay alive. “I’d let kingdoms fall for you.”

“We can build this kingdom together, just not as King and Queen. Just as King and General. As it should be.”

“Please. Think, we can make our way to each other, we can make it work. I beg.” Her hold around his neck tightened, he gripped her so tightly as if he would lose her and it seemed that any second now: he would.

“The Freyr have surrendered their threats? They wish to organise a peace treaty?” Her voice rose by an octave with every word as the Major revealed to her the latest political news. “Why wasn’t I informed of this? This is great.”

“Mainly so, King Yunho has requested to meet with you rather than His Majesty.” Once the migrants had reached the Freyr border, unbeknownst of the news of a disease- a sudden epidemic occurred across the nation, the death count inclining exponentially. Freyr’s army depleted significantly with the plague, Qiān locking its borders- keeping the spread of infection on a tight leash. Finally, when the disease had reached the palace- King Jeong became a victim; with his prolonging amenability, his life was taken from him a new ruler acceding to the throne. “I hear he may be visiting soon, after a period of isolation- of course.”

As claimed, Yunho made his way to their kingdom with a restricted access to the palace grounds and movement to prevent the spread of disease. She caught him traipsing across the guest's quarters with white gloved hands and a face mask- to meet with San who wore the same protective dress. Entering the room, the King of Freyr was sealed behind a transparent white fabric. Joining San on the opposite side, she greeted him with a deep bow.

“Your Highness. To what do we owe the pleasure?” The treaty was signed now, the threat of war had been consumed. Was he after something more malicious?

“I was thinking what would be better way for us to create an efficacious partnership than to bind our kingdoms together in matrimony.” She shared a look with San.

“Are you talking about the Freyr Princess, Yeji?" He nodded, dubiously.

"We'll have to think about this prospect, Yunho. Our people will not take lightly to a Freyr Queen." San spoke, his careful words penetrating through Yunho's heart. His way of speaking was hypnotic enough to make his counterpart submit under his command. Through the sheer fabric, a long arm outstretched before hers dragging her body violently towards his.

“I know this was all your doing General Seok. You are a very clever woman and I respect that you will do whatever it takes to defend your country. Do not mistake my lack of maleficence for weakness.” He whispered, before releasing his rough grip on her. Pounding out of the room with his officials on his tail, her ears rung, the sonority of voices calling her name fell deaf to her ears. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead, blundering out of the room her palpitating heart pushed into the furnished hallway knocking over porcelain vases.

“General? General Seok!” Her head snapped up from the picturesque map pinned to wood. The naval all scrutinised her from the top of the table where she sat nursing a headache. She couldn’t care how weak they thought of her now. Yunho knew. How did he know? Was there a spy within her troops she did not know? Or was he sharper than she had forseen? The latter brimmed her heart with solicitude.

“Go on, Major Kang. Tell me, I didn’t see that coming. Tell me that I have driven this country into the ground with my wit.” Her noxious tone reached out to them through gritted teeth. For the first time in her life, there was an odd sense of sympathy in the room that wasn’t foreseen before.

“General Geon cried in this very room when he lost his precious battalion to the Freyr in the Valley. In front of us all. We do not care if you ripped your hair out in front of us, we care that you move us forward.” Swallowing the lump in her throat, battling the tears that threatened to leach out of her eyes, her head oscillated. “It’s ok to not know what to do, General.”

“I can’t have the Freyr Princess in this kingdom."

“Then Qiān will be sunken under the sea.” San spoke, a mutter of agreement fulfilled the War Room.

“If we have to shed blood, let’s do it now. Their troops have minimised, we’ve blocked all ways in, they’re still suffering from a chronic disease. If they declare a war, they won’t win.”

“He doesn’t have to declare war now. He can declare war in ten, fifteen, twenty years time. Will we win then?” San argued. Under their heated gaze, the officials left the room leaving their General alone to rally with the King.

"I can't and won't stand here and watch another woman take my place in your heart." Tears pooled at the bay of her eyes. He drew closer to her, pulling her into his chest.

"I'm afraid you have to."

"Sannie, my love. Please." she begged, weakly. He turned his head away. "You can't do this to me." A painful sob escaped from her lips as she sunk to the floor, dragging San down with her. Her cry weakened him, breaking down the exterior of a powerful King that had been fabricated from his coronation.

"If I were to hold you in my arms, in front of them all, that would be all the more reason to let you go. You are my heart and my soul. You are everything that keeps my body moving. But to love you is a sin that would condemn me to eternal damnation."

“I would lose a thousand wars, willingly, if it meant I could have you." she choked out. His lips fell into a pout, as his own tears forged from the ardent fires of his love.

“Anything to win a war, right?” Their heads pressed together, pearly tears staining her supple flesh. “You will always be my queen.” With a final kiss pressed to her forehead, he got up escaping through the door. Her heart entwined between his fingers, blood dripping down the palace walls as they were mercilessly parted by fate.

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, REPURPOSE, OR PLAGISRISE ANY OF THE WORK HERE

‘seok’ meaning stone

A/N: I decided to remaster the whole thing because I was a bit iffy about the first version, since the first half is different I just didn’t want to edit the older version. lmk if you find this edition better!!!

tagging some folks who read the old version, hope you don’t mind!

tags: @potatos-on-clouds @n0v4t33z @jean-swolo @wooyoungjung99 @yeontaegu @butterflydemons @ajuniceagain @chocosuh

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aleiiii · 1 year ago

Note

Hello again back with another angsty thought roaming about. Don't know if it's been brought up yet but if Na is mortal or not but if she is a mortal , how does Wukong (and Mac) cope with the thoughts of him outliving her ( like he did with all of his old friends)?

Or does he try to figure a way to extend her life?

FROSTED 🫵🏼

These angst asks are so yummy, thank you 🤭

Holy moly,,,,, yknow I can see Wukong being in huge denial, especially after going through losing his previous companions, probably encountering other mortals come and go. He’s really reminded about Nà’s mortality after the Lady Bone Demon encounter, she’s tired and worn out from the venture. Probably a little injured (from Wukong no less uh oh). He fights the internal battle of either going behind her back and giving her an elixir or a peach from the gardens, or just straight up asking her,,,, BUT that runs the risk of her rejecting Wukong’s wish to make her immortal, and that’s really not an option in Wukong’s eyes.

Macaque tries to be a point of reason. Maybe she does want to live a normal human lifespan, and that would be her choice…. But he’s also grown extremely attached to her. He wouldn’t want to lose something so dear to him again. As much as he tries to allow Nà to have her own will, Wukong can be a bit of a barrier.

#im gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure #MMMM I ENJOY THE ANGST #asks #art stuff #lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk oc #monkie kid #art #lmk macaque #lmk oc x canon #lmk six eared macaque #six eared macaque #oc x canon #lmk oc art

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nicoline1998enilocin · 3 months ago

Text

The Only One For Me || Part 2

PAIRING || Boyfriend! College Student! Young! Tony Stark x Girlfriend! College Student! Female! Reader

WORDCOUNT || 11.4K

SUMMARY || Life with Tony as your boyfriend has been a dream, and now you're both getting ready to take your relationship to the next level. After that night, you feel like a different person, and you're happy to have shared this moment with him.

RATING || Explicit (E)

WARNINGS/TAGS || College AU. No powers AU. Young! Tony Stark AU. Established relationship. Sexual tension. Explicit sexual content.

SMUT || Virgin! Tony. Virgin! Reader. First time. Hand job. Oral (M&F receiving). Unprotected sex (Reader is on birth control). Fingering. Teasing. Praise. Dirty talk. Hair pulling. Back scratching.

A/N || This story has been requested by my best friend and the most amazing person on earth, @ccbsrmsf1! I wish you the happiest birthday today, bestie, and many more beautiful years. I love you and look forward to working on more stories for and with you in the future! 🤍

A/N 2.0 || I want to thank the sweet @mostly-marvel-musings for proofreading this story and lifting it to a new level! I appreciate you so much, and I'm forever grateful 🤍

EVENTS @elixirfromthestars Elixir’s Cinema || I burn for you… + I do… I need you. + “Kiss me.” @fandom-free-bingo Frosty Edition || Teasing @fandom-free-bingo Maritime May Edition || Brushing their hair + First meeting@julybreakbingo Post-JBB || Fear of rejection

All the graphics in this post are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || The Only One For Me || Part 1 || Part 3

The past month has been a blast, as you get to spend as much time as possible with your best friend, Natasha Romanoff, her boyfriend, Bruce Banner, and your very own boyfriend - the tall, muscular, sweet, and shy Tony Stark. From the moment you were on your first date together, you two have grown even closer, and now he’s getting ready to meet you for dinner to celebrate your one-month-anniversary. For the past few weeks, he’s been planning to ask you to go to the upcoming spring dance with him, and tonight will be the night to pop the question.

“Are you sure she will like this?” Tony asks as he stands in front of his life-size mirror, trying on the third outfit as he’s deciding on what to wear. Bruce sits comfortably on his desk chair and looks over at his best friend, trying to assess if the outfit he’s wearing now is the one as his brows furrow.

“Hmm, maybe you should go with lighter jeans instead,” he offers, and Tony lets out a small sigh as he swaps out his black jeans for a pair of light blue ripped jeans. Though it’s not something he wears often, he’s willing to give it a shot, and it’ll go well with the jacket he plans to wear for the night. Once your boyfriend is back in front of the mirror, he smiles as he looks approvingly at the outfit Bruce has helped him put together.

“Glasses or contacts?” he then asks, holding up his glasses as an option.

“Definitely glasses; you know she always goes wild when you wear them, right?”

Tony’s cheeks turn bright red at his best friend’s remark, and a soft ‘okay’ slips from his lips before he puts them on top of his head and walks into the bathroom to switch his contacts for the glasses. You’ve mentioned a few times how sexy and adorable he looks when wearing them, and it will always be a deadly combination for you and your entirely ruined panties in the best way possible.

While Tony is taking his time to get ready, you’re doing the same for the dinner he has invited you to. Your outfit is laid out on the bed after Natasha has put it together with pieces from both your closets, and all you need to decide on now is which shoes to pair with them. However, this is definitely causing a debate between you and your friend.

“I promise you that I’ll be much more comfortable in my boots than your heels! I can barely walk 20 feet in these before I break an ankle,” you tell her with furrowed brows as you hold up a pair of your stiletto heels. The entire time, you feel the nerves swarming through your stomach as you’re afraid to make the wrong choice, wanting this night to be nothing short of perfect.

“Detka. Listen to me,” Natasha says sternly, and you can’t help but meet her gaze in the mirror.

“He will love you in everything you put on tonight - or any other night. You could wear your fluffiest slippers or your highest heels, he wouldn’t even notice! The last thing he’ll be looking at is your shoes, because that man has nothing but eyes for you before kissing you senseless. Trust me, you can wear anything you want, and anything you will decide is going to be perfect.”

When she’s done, you let her words sink in as you look at both pairs of shoes you’re holding. Deep down you know she’s right, and the last thing he will think about is your shoes, so you decide to go with the pair of black chelsea boots to finish the outfit, following your initial thoughts. Then it’s time to work on your hair and make-up before slipping on the clothes, and you look nothing short of beautiful when you’re done.

“I can’t wait to see what Tony thinks when he picks you up,” your best friend says as your fingers slide over the soft lace of the bodysuit. While it’s something that’s usually out of your comfort zone, it doesn’t look out of place on your curves, and you’re both sure Tony’s jaw will be on the floor when he sees you. She also looks at you with a prideful gaze, as she couldn’t be prouder of the happiness radiating off you both when you’re together.

“Believe me, neither can I,” you say with a shy smile, warmth spreading through your cheeks as you’re looking at yourself one last time, admiring all the hard work you and Natasha have put in while getting ready. It doesn’t take long for Tony to arrive after, and you squeal excitedly when you hear his knocks on the door.

“Have fun!” Natasha says as you rush past her, ready to greet your boyfriend. It’s been a little over a week since you’ve seen him in person due to your busy schedules. Now that the end of your degree is nearing, you’re both busier than ever, and you’ve both been looking forward to this reunion. When the door swings open, you’re met with a broad smile and a sight to ruin every last pair of your panties, as Tony looks especially handsome tonight.

“Hi, Angel,” he says as his hands are in his pockets, a blush already on his cheeks as he takes in your outfit for the night. His eyes get stuck on the revealing lace of your bodysuit, and he’s glad to be wearing a pair of his baggier jeans today, as they’ll help to hide the fact that he’s rather excited to see what you look like tonight. You barely get a chance to greet him back, as he gently pushes you against the door to kiss you, not able to stay away from you for another second.

His lips are soft yet demanding when they slide together with yours, a soft moan escaping your lips as his thumb caresses your cheek, while his other hand gently squeezes your hip, taking domination of every sense in your body. His cologne fills your nostrils as you two take the time to greet one another with this kiss, as it has been long overdue. You’ve been waiting for this moment for longer than you’ve wanted, but it’s been worth every minute.

Your bodies mold together beautifully, and it feels like coming home as you two take your time with the kiss. When it’s time for you both to get some air, you can’t stop smiling at him, the butterflies in your stomach going wild as you look into his shimmering dark brown eyes. His shy smile also makes your heart melt, as he looks more handsome than you’ve seen him ever look to this moment.

“Buon anniversario di un mese, angelo mio,” Tony says, making your heart melt at the foreign language slipping from his tongue as naturally as when he speaks English. He’s been raised bilingual - his Mom, Maria Stark, is from Italy so his parents have raised him with both English and Italian - but rarely speaks Italian outside of his parents’ home. However, when you found out that he speaks Italian, you’ve been encouraging him to do it more, making your heart melt as a result each time he does.

Then, after a few more pecks on your lips, Tony reaches into his back pocket from where he grabs a long, slender present wrapped in stunning red and gold wrapping paper. Your eyes go wide at the sight of the present, and you suddenly feel bad for not having anything for him, as you haven’t been able to go out and pick the perfect gift for him. You’re about to tell him exactly that, but he’s ahead of you, reassuring you that it’s okay that you don’t have one.

“All I want is to spend time with you on a night that’s special to us, Angel. Your presence and your smile are the best gifts you can possibly give me,” he says, which makes you smile and melt even harder. If you weren’t already deeply in love with him, you surely would be now, as he never fails to say the right thing. Then you move to open the present, making Tony smile widely as he patiently waits for you to take the wrapping off.

Inside is a necklace with a delicate chain and a small ‘T’ on it, and the color of it compliments your skin beautifully. Unable to know what to say to such a gift, you instead take it out of the small box it’s currently sitting in, holding it up to get an even better look at it.

“Can you put it on for me?” you then ask, and Tony obliges by taking the chain out of your hand and putting it on, his fingers sending sparks through your body, your skin feeling warm from where he touches you. He has picked the perfect length, and when you turn around he gasps softly, as you’re now proudly wearing his initial.

“You look even more beautiful than you already did, Angel. Sono l'uomo più fortunato ad essersi innamorato di qualcuno bello come te,” Tony whispers as he gazes into your eyes, and he has never felt luckier to be yours than he is now, just like he just said. Though you can’t understand the words he’s saying, you’re still enjoying them thoroughly, as Tony speaking Italian is something you will never stop encouraging.

“Ti amo, Tony,” you whisper before smiling and standing on your tiptoes to kiss him again, the words he was going to say now swallowed by your lips on his. His cheeks are on fire as his fingers dig gently into your hips, and the simmering flame that’s been slowly growing between you two is quickly turning to a large fire, passion growing with every passing second between you two.

“We- We should go to dinner,” Tony says with a smile after pulling away, a little out of breath as he gently puts his forehead against yours. You smile back at him as you close your eyes, your own chest rising and falling quickly as well. Once you’re both ready to go, he interlocks his fingers with yours before leading you out of your dorm and towards one of the most romantic restaurants New York has to offer.

The two of you were quickly seated at a table that offers a beautiful view of the New York skyline, as Tony has pulled out every last stop to make the night unforgettable. It doesn’t take long for a waiter to bring out two menus and water for you both, which Tony happily pours before taking a sip, the nerves in his stomach growing with every passing second. The last time he was this nervous was right before the kissing booth, when he was about to kiss you for the first time.

“Can I ask you something?” Tony asks after taking another sip of the water the waiter just brought over, his voice shaking slightly due to the growing tension in his body. His nerves are higher than he thought they would be, but he also knows that he needs to ask what he’s about to ask. You look up at him from the menu you’ve been given, brows furrowed and worry visible on your face.

“Of course, Handsome. You can ask me anything,” you say in a reassuring tone, his cheeks turning red at the nickname.

“I- I know this is a bit silly but- I was wondering if you’d like to be my date to the spring dance,” he asks as the burning on his cheeks intensifies, turning them to a deep red as the words come out of his mouth. Even though he’s not entirely sure why he’s asking you this - you’re his girlfriend, after all -, he’s still happy he managed to get the words out without making a fool out of himself.

“I don’t think it’s silly to ask a question, Tony. But to answer yours; I would love to be your date to the spring dance. It wouldn’t be the same without you,” you tell him, and he smiles brightly at your words. Sometimes, Tony needs some extra reassurance - especially after some of his past relationships that have caused a fear of rejection in him -, and you’re always happy to give him exactly that. Nothing is weird or out of bounds for you two, and you know you can always ask for anything you need.

“Thank you, Angel. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he says before grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing the back of it softly. Heat takes over your cheeks as you look at what he does, happiness settling in your stomach. Each day seems even more special than the last with him, and you’re grateful to be loved by a man like him, wanting nothing more than to experience this love for the rest of your life with him.

Then, as you’re about to say something the waiter comes back to take your orders, and when those are given, the conversation turns light, with Tony cracking jokes and talking about your shared interests before you’ll both enjoy some of the most delicious food you’ve ever had. When every last bite is gone, it’s time for your favorite dessert: a rich, creamy tiramisu that has your mouth watering at the sight.

“Wow,” you whisper as you take in its beauty, and Tony grabs a spoon so he’ll be able to give you the first bite. As he lifts the utensil to your lips, his gaze is trained on your mouth the entire time, his body reacting instantly as he hears your reaction to the sweetness of the tiramisu.

A soft moan escapes your lips as the dessert practically melts in your mouth, Tony’s hand still in the air as he looks at the way your face turns into a look of pure pleasure. He never would have expected that feeding someone dessert could be this intimate, but he’s not minding it in the slightest. Simultaneously, he’s also grateful that his lap is covered by both the table and a napkin, so no one can see what your reaction to the softness of the desert is doing to him. The moan escaping your lips has him painfully hard, but he’s willing it to go away quickly, as there’s nothing he can do about it now, no matter how much his desire is telling him to do it.

“This is delicious, Tony. I would almost dare to say it’s better than having an orgasm,” you say in a slightly teasing tone, your own cheeks turning just as dark as your boyfriend’s at the mention of orgasms. Though you both have been open and honest about never having had sex before, you’re no stranger to helping yourself to take the edge off, and it’s something that’s been going through your mind a lot since getting together with Tony.

What you don’t know, however, is that Tony is planning to make your first time together extremely special, because not only will it be your first time together, it will also be your first time ever for you both, and you’re looking forward to that moment, as it’s going to be a night never to forget. However, the time to head back to your dorm arrives all too soon, as neither of you wants this night to end yet.

As the door of your dorm comes into sight, you squeeze Tony’s fingers in anticipation of what’s to come, but you’re caught by surprise when he pushes you against the wall, his lips immediately fighting over dominance with yours as his hands explore your curves, his warm body ensuring you’re not able to go anywhere. Your fingers are laced in his messy locks as you share the steamy kiss, and soft groans fill the hallway as you gently tug on his roots.

“Fuck-” he says as you pull his head back, allowing you to place kisses on the sensitive places on his neck. If it were up to you, you’d pull him into your dorm right now to share a night of passion, but that’s not what you’ve discussed, so for now, you’ll gladly stick to these steamy make-out sessions whenever you have the chance.

“Angel, please,” Tony says as his hand cups your neck, squeezing softly to get your attention. You pull back to reveal the marks you’ve been putting there, pride blooming in your chest at the sight of them. They’ll most likely disappear before the end of the night but you’re still happy with every last one of them.

“We should get some rest-” he says, only to be cut off by another kiss, as you’re unable to get enough of him. He smiles against your lips as he returns the sentiment of passion, but eventually he pulls back, the need for air becoming too much.

“I love you so much, Angel. I can’t get enough of you and your sweet, soft lips and this beautiful body of yours,” he says, his voice breathy as he’s trying to catch his breath.

“But, I also really need to get back to my dorm. I have an early class tomorrow that I can’t miss,” he says, his eyes softening from the lustful gaze he had not too long ago. His cheeks are bright red as he looks at you, and you nod in understanding before pecking his lips a few more times, making him smile shyly.

“I love you too,” you whisper before pulling him in for a hug, his body enveloping yours perfectly as you bury your nose in his jacket, his cologne filling your senses as you enjoy these last moments with your boyfriend. All too soon for your liking he pulls back before placing a kiss on your forehead and heading back to his dorm room, where he’s getting ready for his early class, and to visit his parents to get some advice, too.

The moment Tony walks into his parents’ house, it’s like a wave of Italy washes over him, his smile growing wider with every step. He loves the independence of living in the dorms on campus, but coming home to his Mom and Dad is a moment he always cherishes, as there’s not a single better feeling than being enveloped in the warmth of their house. Well, that is other than being around you and feeling your lips on his.

“Ciao, tesoro mio. Mi sei mancata così tanto!”

Maria’s voice fills the hallway as her heels click on the tile flooring, her arms stretched wide to welcome her son home. She’s always the first to greet him when he’s back, and he happily melts into her arms as they embrace. one another. Tony loves her with all his heart and soul, and the bond the two of them share is indescribable - there’s nothing either one of them wouldn’t do for the other.

“Anche tu mi sei mancata, mamma,” he whispers as they move from side to side, her grip not loosening for a second.

“You should really be careful not to crush him, Maria,” Howard says as he walks into the hallway where his wife and son are still holding each other. It’s been much too long since he’s seen his parents, and he’s happy to be back.

“I’m not,” she huffs as she lets Tony go, her hands on her son’s cheeks as she inspects him. He’s practically glowing now that he’s together with you, and she can’t stop smiling up at him, their height difference making her crane her neck to look at him.

“Welcome home, son. It’s good to see you again,” Howard then says before pulling Tony into an embrace of his own, and Tony returns the sentiment, letting them both know it’s good to be back. He can’t wait to introduce you - his Angel, the love of his life and the woman he wants to grow old with - to them as well, as he’s positive they will love you from the moment they meet you. His cheeks start burning at the thought of you, as you are the reason he’s here in the first place, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Maria who pats his cheek lovingly.

“So, how is everything going between you and Y/N? We’ve been looking forward to meeting her,” Maria says as he ushers Tony into the dining room so he can sit down. It doesn’t take long before there’s a refreshing cup of iced tea in front of him, just like his Mom used to make when he was growing up. His smile widens at the mention of your name, and he couldn’t be more excited to tell them all about you.

“It’s going well,” he starts off, his mind flooding with memories he has made with you so far.

“Even though we’re both incredibly busy with assignments and tests, we’re spending as much time together as we can, and I can’t get enough of her presence. She’s so loving, funny and sweet. I think you’ll like her, mamma. She radiates the same warmth and love as you, and it makes her just as special as you,” he tells his mom, which makes her blush intensely this time.

It is clear where he got the blushing from, as he looks a lot like Maria in this moment, making Howard’s heart melt as he looks at his beautiful wife and amazing son.

“Vederti così felice mi rende orgogliosa di te, bambina mia. Mi rende una mamma felice,” Maria says. Whenever she’s expressing these words of love and pride, she often resorts to her native language of Italian, as she can show her love even more that way. Tony’s mouth curls into a smile as he listens to her say how proud she is of his happiness, and he couldn’t agree more.

“Grazie mamma. Sono molto fortunata ad avere una donna come il mio Angelo al mio fianco,” Tony responds softly, and he thinks about you as he says it. He’s very lucky to have met you in this lifetime, and he’s told you before that he hopes to have the honor of falling in love with you in every single universe and lifetime after this one. Maria leads Tony to the living room as Tony has told them before he wanted to discuss something, though embarrassment is slowly filling his being at the thought of asking for the kind of advice he’s about to receive.

“Well- uhm… There’s a- a reason I’m here,” Tony starts off as he’s comfortable on the couch with the tea Maria has made for him, his voice low and his entire body feeling like it’s on fire as he’s trying to find the courage to say what’s on his mind. He nervously plays with the hem of his shirt while his gaze pointed to his knees as the nerves are getting the best of him; and then Maria reaches out, gently laying her hand on her son’s fidgeting fingers.

“What’s on your mind, Mi Amore?” she asks, and Tony sighs before looking up and meeting her gaze, her brows furrowed in worry as she looks at Tony.

“I- I’m hoping to get some… advice, from you both. I know we’ve talked about the birds and the bees, but- but I would like some more advice than that,” he says, his mind going into overdrive as he thinks of every possible answer they could give. Thankfully, they have always reassured him that he can come to them with anything, and that’s exactly why he found the courage to ask for advice.

“I’ve been talking with Y/N, and we want to take the next step soon, but- uhm- I’m still a virgin. We both are, actually,” he tells them, and Howard hums in response, while Maria squeezes his hand in encouragement.

“I- I know how to use protection and stuff, but I’m wondering if there are other things I should think about? Or do things to make it more enjoyable for us? I don’t want our first time to be bad, so…” his voice trails off near the end, relief washing over him that he finally managed to say it out loud. He trusts his parents with everything, and he’s happy to have the type of relationship to come to them with these kinds of questions, too.

“Before you do anything, please ensure that you’re both 100% on board with it. If there’s even a sliver of doubt on either side, you shouldn’t push it. There’s nothing more important than consent, and with that comes a deep trust,” Howard says, now leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. He’s at eye-level with Tony, who nods in agreement. The burning in his cheeks is slowly subsiding, though he’s still beet red as ever, making him look adorable.

“While everything we just discussed is very important, there’s one more thing I want to ensure you know. After you’ve had all your fun, and you’re both enjoying that post-sex haze,” Howard says very matter-of-factly, making Tony blush all over again, “it’s very important to do aftercare. Don’t just roll over and call it a night, but take care of yourself and her by cuddling, for example, or maybe take a shower together.”

“Or a romantic bath with champagne and some fruit,” Maria says as she looks at Howard with a shimmer of excitement in her eyes, her husband smiling back at her with nothing but pure love. Tony quickly pieces together that it is something that they tend to enjoy, and he’s unsure whether to be happy for them, or be weirded out by it, as he’d rather not think about his parents doing things like that.

“So, aftercare. That’s good to know,” Tony says, his cheeks a fiery shade of red as the conversation is finally nearing it’s end. While he loves that he can talk to his parents about anything, he’s still a little uneasy when it comes to sex, which is only intensified by the fact that his first time is going to happen soon, and he wants everything to be perfect for you both.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Howard asks, but Tony shakes his head - he has had enough sex-talk for one day, though he’s very grateful for their advice. Now, he’s looking forward to using all of his knowledge during your first time, wanting it to be nothing short of perfect for you both.

The days leading up to the spring dance seemed to crawl by at a snail’s pace, the classes feeling like they’re never ending and the assignments feeling like they’re becoming longer and more difficult, too. It’s only a figment of your imagination, however, as excitement has settled with you about attending said dance with your boyfriend. Though you’re more excited about what might happen after, because the two of you have discussed your first time together, as well.

It’s been on your mind more and more lately, and now that you’re out shopping with your best friend and roommate, Natasha, you can’t help but bring up the topic of lingerie.

“Do you mind if we go in here for a moment?” you ask as you’re walking by a beautiful looking mannequin that displays delicate, black lace inside one of the storefronts. Natasha hums approvingly before taking a left and walking in the store ahead of you. Even though you’re no stranger to wearing lingerie, it is your first time visiting a store like this, as you’re looking for something special to wear during your first time.

Natasha smiles widely as she heads into the store ahead of you, and you’re soon surrounded with lingerie in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors. However, your eye is immediately drawn to a white set on a mannequin, the lace soft and delicate as it’s wrapped around the curves of the doll. Natasha follows your line of sight as she stands beside you, and without saying a word she’s off to find you the exact set you’ve been eyeing.

Soon, you’re in a spacious dressing room as you slip on the bra, the matching panties feeling delicate against your skin. When it’s all in place you take a good look in the mirror, admiring yourself from every angle as you let thoughts of Tony wander through your mind. You think about his reaction, but also about how quickly he would take it off in favor of having you entirely bare, and that’s when you get an idea.

You picked a short silk robe in a cream color to try on as well, and you slip it on, the fabric gliding over your skin as if it’s made just for you. You tie it loosely before standing in front of the floor to ceiling mirror, ensuring you can still see bits of the lingerie and some skin before snapping a few photos - both for your personal collection, as well as to send Tony to tease him a little bit.

His response came quickly, and you can’t help but feel your cheeks flush as you see the words “most beautiful Angel” fill the screen. This cements it for you, and you decide to buy all three pieces before changing into your own clothes, ready to pay and grab some dinner with your best friend and roommate.

“And? What did he think of it?” Natasha asks with a raised brow, making you smile at her words. Somehow, she always seems to be able to read you without fault, knowing exactly what you were doing as you took the photos for your boyfriend.

“He loves it,” you say softly, and she nods with a smile before heading to the register and paying for the sets she herself picked out. It’s a mix of red and black, which have become her signature colors, and they both compliment her skin tone perfectly, so she’ll usually be seen wearing one of those two shades.

After grabbing some dinner and settling back in the dorm room, you and Natasha have decided on a movie night with face masks and popcorn, just like you two used to do in the early days of being roommates. It’s become a tradition for you two to do it at least once a month, and tonight is the perfect night as tomorrow is the spring dance. The face masks are one of the brightest shades of blue you’ve ever seen, and you’re both laughing until your stomach aches from the sight of the other looking like smurfs.

It’s been barely 5 minutes since you’ve applied the bright blue face mask to your face when you hear a knock on the door of your shared dorm room, making both you and Natasha curious as to who could be on the other side of the door. You rush over there as quickly as you can, but before you open the door, the person on the other side is already gone, only a golden box left in their place. On top is a small card with your nickname on it, giving away immediately who it’s from.

“Who is it?” Natasha asks after putting some popcorn in a large bowl for your movie night, but you don’t say anything as you pick up the box.

“It’s not who, but what,” you say as you kick the door shut with your foot, the box heavy in your arms as you carry it to your bed, ready to unpack it. Within seconds, she’s by your side to see what’s inside, and you quickly take off the bow that’s been tied around it, so you can finally read the note that’s attached to it.

I love you, il mio meraviglioso angelo.

Wear this tomorrow night, and you’ll be the most beautiful girl at the dance.

I’m looking forward to seeing how angelic you will look as it’ll hug your beautiful curves.

~ Tony ♥️

“Are you kidding me?! That’s the sweetest thing ever!” Natasha exclaims after reading the note, your smile almost splitting your face in half. Your cheeks are burning at the mention of your curves, as Tony has mentioned quite a few times how much he loves them, and that he’s looking forward to worshipping every single inch of your body, leaving your cheeks heated and your heart beating like it’s about to leap out of your chest.

“I know! I wonder what’s inside,” you say softly, and your suspicions are confirmed as you lift the lid. Inside is a deep red gown made of the most beautifully shimmery material you’ve ever seen, and it looks like it’s embellished with diamonds, too. He hasn’t spared a single expense when buying you this dress, making it look as if it could belong on a red carpet in Hollywood.

“Wow,” you both say in unison as you take it out of the box. It’s an off-shoulder dress that’s tighter on top, but flowing near the bottom, allowing you to walk and dance comfortably. The lights of your dorm make the diamond shimmer, and the color accentuates your skin tone perfectly, even now that you’re holding it. You can’t even begin to imagine what it’ll look like when you finally get to put it on.

“You’re definitely lucky with a man like Tony. I don’t know many men who would go out of their way to pick out a dress like this that matches your skin and personality perfectly,” she says, and you’re unable to stop smiling as you hang the dress up for now, not wanting it to get ruined.

“Oh god, I am lucky, aren’t I? I never thought I would find a love like this, but I’m forever grateful to have fallen in love with Tony,” you say as you pull Natasha into a side hug, her arm snaking around your waist to pull you against her side, too.

“And you deserve it, Detka. There’s no one who deserves it more if you ask me,” she says, making your cheeks heat in response. Not only are you lucky with a boyfriend like Tony, but you’ve also won the best friend jackpot with Natasha.

“I love you,” you say proudly, and she returns the sentiment before letting you go and grabbing the bowl of popcorn, ready to rewatch Grease for the thousandth time together.

The day of the dance is finally here, and you’re experiencing a mix of both nerves and excitement, as it’ll be the first school dance that you’ll attend with your boyfriend. The dress he gifted you yesterday is hanging on your closet door, ready to be worn tonight, and the lingerie you’ve bought is ready to be slipped into after your shower. Music is blasting throughout your dorm as Natasha is getting everything ready for the two of you to do your hair and make-up, making a fun girls day out of it.

As you’re working on shaving your legs, you suddenly hear your phone going off, and you can’t help but take a peek around the shower curtain, your heart rate spiking at the sight of Tony’s name.

Tony >> I’m looking forward to picking you up tonight, Angel. I wish I could see you sooner, though - being away from you for this long is killing me

You can’t help but smile at his words, as you’ve talked to him on FaceTime not too long ago. That doesn’t mean you’re not excited to see him, however, as it’s all you can think about. All you know is that he’ll wear a suit that will go perfectly with your dress, but he hasn’t let loose about what color it will be. Thankfully, you don’t have to wait that long anymore, as both Tony and Bruce will pick you and Natasha up in less than four hours.

“What do you think?” you ask Natasha when you’ve gotten fully dressed, and you’re showing off the finished ensemble.

“I think that he needs to pick up his jaw from the floor when he sees you. You’re beautiful, Detka, and Tony is very lucky to have such a hot piece of arm candy for the night,” she says as she puts the finishing touches on her own hair. You don’t get the chance to answer her, however, as you hear a knock on the door before you get the chance. You rush over to the door, and you’re met with a sight for sore eyes.

Tony is holding a bouquet of white tulips as he smiles widely, his gaze roaming over your figure as you’re standing in front of him. The necklace with the little ‘T’ on it is highlighting your neck perfectly, and the dress hugs your body in all the right places, making you feel like the angel Tony always tells you that you are.

“Hi,” is all you can say as you take the flowers from him, your mind having gone blank at the sight of Tony in a perfectly tailored black suit, though the tie is made of the exact same fabric of your dress. His hair is messy in his own perfect way, and he opted to wear a set of dark-rimmed glasses to finish off his look. While Tony always looks handsome in his casual looks, he looks downright stunning in his suit, and you can’t get enough of the sight.

You quickly put the tulips in a vase before heading out the door, followed by Bruce and Natasha who had their moment of greeting, too. The Uber Tony ordered is waiting for you downstairs, and like a true gentleman he opens the door for you, allowing you and Natasha to get seated first, followed by himself and Bruce, and the night is officially off to an amazing start as you’re looking around the car, admiring the friendships you’ve built with all of them over time.

While the night is started off with some drinks and laughter, it quickly changes to seeing who can do the weirdest dance moves, only for the music to turn from an upbeat dance number to a slower song, and Tony holds out his hand for you as an invite to join him on the dancefloor. You happily take it, allowing him to guide you towards the dancefloor and take the lead in your slow dance.

Your body is pressed against his as your hands are on his chest, and his long fingers gently dig into your hips as you’re swaying back and forth. He looks at you with love in his eyes and a small smile on his face, and pink cheeks from the warmth in the room.

“I love you,” you tell him, and his smile immediately widens. He’ll never get enough of hearing those words from you.

“I love you too, Angel. Thank you for showing me what true love is like, and for being my date tonight. I’m happy to be able to share these moments with you instead of with Bruce as we’re sitting down the entire time as he’s unable to stop talking about Natasha.”

Right on cue, you meet your best friend’s gaze as she dances with her boyfriend, and she winks at you before looking back at Bruce. Tony leans down when you’re facing him again, but instead of placing a kiss on your lips like you thought he would do, he presses one to the top of your nose, catching you off-guard in the best way possible.

“What did you do that for?!” You ask playfully, and he shrugs while blushing even harder, making you want to return the favor. And you do exactly that, making him smile widely as you place a kiss on the tip of his nose, too. And just like that, a tradition is born.

“What do you say about heading back to the dorm, huh?” Tony whispers in your ear while dancing, the night coming to an end as more and more people are heading back to their dorms or to continue the party in one of the many nearby bars. Your head was resting against his shoulder as you swayed back and forth, but his words immediately set your entire body on fire, knowing exactly what he’s asking of you.

“I think that’s exactly what we should do,” you tell him as your fingers glide into the hair on the nape of his neck, your lips meeting him in a passionate exchange. The night you’ve been looking forward to for a long time is finally here – after tonight you’re not going to be a virgin anymore, as you will give yourself fully to the man you love.

Looking back on it, there’s not a single moment you remember from the way back to the dorm, as you and Tony haven’t been able to let go of one another for a single moment, constantly touching, kissing, whispering sweet nothings. You were both everywhere at once, and your mind has gone blank soon after getting into the Uber, and all you remember is Tony pulling you onto his lap, where you could feel all of him.

As soon as the door shuts behind you, Tony pushes you against it as he cups your cheeks with both hands, ensuring he can meet your gaze properly. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you’re attempting to catch your breath, but it’s difficult when he keeps stealing the air from them every few moments by pressing his lips hungrily against yours. Your dress quickly finds its way to the floor, leaving you in nothing but your heels, the white lingerie and the necklace, making Tony groan at the possessiveness of you wearing his initials.

“Did you buy this for me, Angel?” he whispers, his voice rough as he takes a step back, admiring the lace against your skin. Your nipples pebble at the attention he’s giving you, and you nod in response as you turn around in your spot, showing him the rest of the lacey fabric as it hugs your curves.

“It’s too bad I won’t be able to enjoy it for much longer,” he says hungrily which sets your cheeks on fire, and his words are followed by him sinking onto his knees so his face is at the same level as your dripping, clenching pussy. You’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now that it’s finally here, you’re just as hungry for it as he is. He looks up at you with a questioning look, not moving another inch without your permission.

“I- I’m burning for you, Tony, I do-,” is all you can say before he lets his fingers glide over your thighs, the roughness of his fingertips making your head reel at the feeling of them against your thighs. He gently grabs your calf before lifting it and hooking your leg over his shoulder, giving him the perfect view of your thoroughly ruined panties. He reaches up to let his thumb glide over the fabric covering you, making you moan loudly as he finds your sensitive clit.

He smirks as he looks up at you through his lashes, though your eyes are closed as your head has fallen against the door. Tony leans in before letting his tongue follow the same path his finger just did, a groan escaping his chest at the first taste of you, immediately making him want more. Before you know it, the fabric is slipped to the side and his tongue has found your clit, making you roll your hips to meet his pace.

“Oh god- I’m close-” you say as you lace your fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to you in the process. Tony keeps alternating between sucking and licking, and you’re surprised when he gently works one of his fingers into your clenching pussy, and that ultimately leads to you falling apart. Your first orgasm brought on by your boyfriend is nothing short of amazing as he takes his time to work you through it, his own cock straining painfully against the zipper of his pants.

“Kiss me.” It’s all you can say after screaming his name for the past few minutes, and he obliges by gently pulling your leg off his shoulder and rising to his full height, giving you goosebumps as you see the height difference between the two of you. His lips instantly find yours and you moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, and it adds to the hotness of the moment as you pull him closer against you, not a single inch of space between you two.

“Let’s lie down for a moment, Angel,” Tony says as he gently coaxed you towards your bed, and you let yourself fall on it with a thud before he rearranges your body in an effortless manner, making your heart beat faster as your entire body feels like it’s set on fire. Your boyfriend takes the time to undress himself before you, making a show of it as you drink in every inch of his beautiful body, every ridge, muscle and freckle being uncovered.

Then, it’s finally time for him to join you in bed, and you get comfortable against his side as you try to gather the courage to say what’s on your mind. He notices something’s going on, and he tucks a piece of hair behind your hair before placing a kiss on your forehead.

“A penny for your thoughts?” he asks, making you smile before looking up at him with a deep breath.

“I- I want to make you feel good, too,” you admit shyly as you let your fingers glide through his happy trail, a small smile on your lips as you look up at your boyfriend. His cheeks are still tinted pink from the effort he went through to bring you to your high, but his eyes are displaying a curious look.

“Well, I wouldn’t say no to that, Angel,” he tells you, his lips finding yours effortlessly as he bends down to capture them. You can still taste yourself on his tongue as you get lost in the kiss, a soft groan audible as your fingers slip underneath the band of his boxers, ready to give him the same treatment as he has given you not too long ago. When you pull away, his lips are swollen and red, matching the color of his cheeks, and he gasps audibly when your fingers wrap around his cock.

“You’re so big,” you whisper as you pull your gaze down to the outline of his cock in his underwear, where your hand is holding him to get used to the feeling. The hardness of it, combined with the soft skin and the texture of the veins make for an odd experience, but you’re soon used to the feeling, even daring to work your hand up and down a few times. The friction of his boxers against his sensitive, soft tip have him clutching the sheets, his chest rising and falling quickly.

Without saying anything, you move to kneel between his legs, his boxers now showing the perfect outline of his length, a wet spot of pre-cum staining it on the top right. You can’t wait much longer and you gently pull down the fabric that’s keeping you from your main goal, and you’re not disappointed in the slightest. His cock is long and thick, and light blue veins run across the flesh towards his red, leaking tip. His skin is soft when you touch it again, your fingertips grazing over the sensitive veins.

“A-Angel,” his voice is teetering on the edge of begging, as he wants nothing more than the pleasure you’re about to give him. He’s a patient man, but when he’s this close to having your mouth wrapped around him, it’s impossible not to get impatient, though he wouldn’t push you past what you’re comfortable with. He’s told you before that he’s allowing you to set the pace of the evening, and he’s sticking to his word.

“You’re being such a good boy for me,” you say as you play with his balls, which earns you a loud moan of your name, his hands digging into the sheets even further. His back arches as you let your free hand wrap around his length, the feeling of your hands nearly being too much. He’s been waiting for this moment for a long time, and he’s not sure how long he’ll last if you keep going like this.

You move forward to lick a stripe all along the length of his cock, followed by you gently sucking on his soft tip while you keep playing with his balls, and it earns you exactly the reaction you’re hoping for. His hips roll in response to your moves, his cock nudging deeper into your mouth as he does. He knows he’s not going to last long, but you don’t mind as you double your efforts, earning yourself a loud moan of your name as his cock spills every last drop of cum into your mouth.

When you’ve worked him through his orgasm and he’s gone entirely soft - even like this he’s still very impressive when it comes to length - you climb over his sweat-adorned body to kiss him again, giving him a nice surprise when he learns you didn’t swallow, instead fulfilling one of his fantasies by allowing him to kiss you right after he came in your mouth. It’s been one of his dirtiest fantasies about you, but one you’re more than happy to oblige in.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks as he looks you over, his hands rubbing your skin lovingly.

“Good. Different, but not in a bad way,” you say with a satisfied smile, and Tony hums in response, his own mouth curling into a smile, too. The air between the two of you has shifted in a positive way, the trust between you and him even stronger now that you’ve seen each other in such vulnerable states.

“Good,” he whispers as you tuck your face into his neck, the closeness being something you crave after everything that just happened. His fingers draw abstract figures on your back as you get some rest, your mind still feeling very fuzzy after everything that’s happened so far.

When you wake up, Tony is more than happy to see your eyes again, as they’re one of his favorite things about you, and he smiles at you before flipping you over without warning. You shriek in excitement, and when he covers you entirely, his size kink is going wild for a moment, his cock pulsing in excitement at the sight of you like this underneath him.

“Are you ready for more, Angel?” he asks, and you nod quickly, lust coursing through every inch of you.

“Let me grab a condom-” Tony says as he leans over towards the nightstand, but before he can grab the handle, you wrap your hand around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He immediately looks over at you with worry in his eyes, your cheeks heating under his intense gaze. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire each time he looks at you, but now there’s a pang in your chest that makes you feel bad about stopping him in his tracks like this.

“You don’t- I mean, we don’t have to use one, Tony. I’m on birth control, and I want to feel you, all of you tonight. There’s no one else in this lifetime for me, and there’s no one I trust more than you. Unless you want to use one, of course,” you say to reassure him. It takes a moment for it to process in his mind, but his mouth curls into a smirk when he realizes what you’ve just asked from him. You want him to slide in bare for the first time, and he’s not saying no to an opportunity like that.

A hint of mischief is visible in his eyes as he repositions himself so that he’s above you, leaning on his elbows and his lips close to yours. All it would take is the closing of the few inches between you two to feel his lips on yours again, and it’s very tempting as your eyes flit to his lips and back to his dark brown eyes.

“Non c'è niente che desidero di più che sentirti nudo, Angel. The warmth of sweet pussy welcoming me as I slide in gently, taking my time as I stretch you with my thick, long cock. I want to feel her soak my entire length as you’re taking inch after inch, after inch. And then, as my cock is so deep in your sweet pussy that there’s nowhere for my cum to go other than inside you, I can feel your walls clenching as she tries to pull me even deeper. That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it? To have me fill you up with my cum until it’s leaking out around my cock, and making a mess between our bodies?”

You swallow around a lump in your throat as your pussy pulses from his words, excitement running through your entire body as your nipples pebble, too. His closeness is intoxicating in the best way possible, but you need him even closer. You need him deep inside you for as long as you can, and you’ll never let him go when he’s in. He will be yours, and you will be his. For the end of time, in this lifetime and all the ones after this one.

“Please,” you say softly, your voice low as lust is taking over once more. Your throat is also a little raw from how deep you took him mere moments ago, and your lips are still swollen from the countless stolen kisses. Tony lets out a deep breath before shifting on one arm so he can grab your jaw gently, his thumb running over the edge of it as he tilts your head back.

“Your wish is my command, Angel,” he whispers in a deep tone before leaning down and kissing your neck, a needy moan slipping from your lips as he does and he slips his thumb in your mouth as a response. Your fingers dig into his biceps as he takes his time marking your collarbone and chest, aware to not put them too high as you still need to be able to cover them. One day, you’ll proudly wear his marks without a second thought, but now you still have to be careful. Each mark Tony leaves has you clenching around nothing as his thick thighs are keeping your legs spread, his cock nudging at your entrance with every move he makes. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s nearly driving you insane.

When Tony is finally satisfied with the marks he has left - most of them placed neatly on your chest and breasts - he lets you go, his thumb slipping from your mouth with a loud pop. His cheeks are bright red when he’s done and his heart feels like it’s about to leap out of his chest as he looks at the marks he’s left, and you’ve rarely been more beautiful to him.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he says before kissing you again, his tongue easily winning the fight for dominance as you give yourself over to him. His hand slides between your bodies before wrapping around his length, a groan leaving his lips as he looks down to where he’s lining himself up.

“Take a deep breath for me, Angel. I promise I’ll go slow, but if it’s too much, you can always tell me, okay?” he asks, and you nod reassuringly, and you smile at him with a content look. After a few more seconds, Tony pushes in for the first time, your eyes going wide at the intrusion of his cock, as it’s very different from his fingers, no matter how much he took his time stretching you earlier.

“How’re you feeling?” he immediately asks, and you take a few deep breaths before answering. While your body is very stiff when he first slides in, you can feel yourself relax under him, and your breathing slows down as well.

“Good, Tony. I promise that I’m feeling good,” you reassure him, and he nods, his own heart rate and breathing slowing down, too. He takes his time to work every last inch of himself into you, constantly checking in and giving countless kisses, too, which helps you relax even further. The feeling of his cock inside you, the stimulation from his veins and the love he’s showing you has you on cloud nine, and you’re happy to have waited for the right man.

“Hmm, fuck- I do- I need you so badly, Angel. I need you so badly,” Tony groans as he bottoms out, his words slurring together as his brain is focused on one thing only: your pussy greedily pulling him in further and further. Your fingernails dig into his shoulder as he bottoms out, a loud moan escaping your lips as your eyes roll back in your head from the pleasure he’s giving you.

“That’s it, taking me so beautifully. You’re taking all of me so well,” he praises you, setting your cheeks on fire once more before you give him the go-ahead to start making you feel good.

“S so soft and warm, I never want to leave your pussy. ‘s pure heaven,” he whispers between slow rolls of his hips, your body working in tandem with his as he presses his forehead against yours, making the moment even more intimate than it already was.

“Un giorno ti sposerò e ti darò tutti i miei bambini, il mio amore,” Tony groans, the thought of you carrying his babies being one he can’t get out of his head as he slowly picks up the pace. It all feels very natural as you’re unsure where one person ends and the other begins, your bodies moving in sync as your highs are quickly building once again. While Tony keeps saying things in Italian – which only adds to your arousal – you can’t stop saying his name like a chant.

“Tony- Tony, please! ‘m close-”

“It’s okay, Angel. Let go for me, cum all over my cock and I’ll give you every last drop of my cum,” Tony pants as the bed creaks loudly, though neither one of you cares about who can hear. Right now, there’s nothing but you and Tony in your little bubble of happiness and pleasure. It only takes a few more thrusts and your nails raking down Tony’s back before you’re falling over the edge, immediately followed by Tony as he works you both through your orgasms.

“Ti amo,” you whisper as you look at him with pure love, and he whispers it right back at you before capturing your lips once more. The rest of the night is spent in each other’s arms as you’re enjoying the post-sex haze together. In the bath, where you’re feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries, or in bed where you’re more than happy to be cuddled to sleep by your boyfriend.

“Thank you for making tonight special, Tony. I’m glad to have you be my first,” you tell him, your fingers gliding over the coarse hair of his chest.

“And I’m glad to have you be my last, Angel. I’m never letting you go,” he tells you, and you agree before falling into a blissful sleep in Tony’s arms.

“How’re you feeling about meeting my parents today, Angel?” Tony asks as he stands behind you to zip up the dress you’ve chosen to wear as today will be your first meeting with Howard and Maria. It’s a blue dress that compliments your skin tone beautifully - courtesy of Tony who picked it out as a present for today - and Tony is wearing a shirt that matches in color, making you smile as you look in the mirror.

“Nervous, but overall excited. After everything you’ve told me about them, I think they’ll be nothing short of amazing. Especially seeing how well they raised you, as you’ve turned out like the perfect gentleman.” Thoughts of last night and how sweet he was with you during your shared first time are still swirling in your mind as you meet his gaze in the mirror, his cheeks flushed as you smile widely.

“I’m excited, too. I have a feeling they’ll love you almost as much as I do.” Without another word he grabs your hairbrush, letting it glide through your soft locks as he’s brushing your hair, getting it ready for you to turn it into a simple but beautiful hairstyle, as you prefer keeping your hair in a ponytail or a bun when possible.

When he’s done, he places the brush down before gently laying his hands on your waist to still be close to you, as he prefers not leaving your side right now. As soon as you’re done, you turn around to pull him into a kiss, your lips moving with his as if they;re made for one another, passion being poured into every passing second. Neither of you can get enough of one another, and if it were up to you, you’d spend another day in bed, but instead you have exciting plans to attend to.

“Let’s go, otherwise we’ll be late,” Tony whispers against your lips, and after a few more pecks you let him go, though you already miss him the second he steps back to head to his parents. The drive to their house is beautiful as the sun is shining and the music is blasting through the speakers, the roof of Tony’s convertible being down means you’re able to soak up even more of this beautiful day. His hand is gently squeezing your thigh as he looks at the road, a content smile on his face. If life is going to be like this from now on, he’s even happier to be spending it with you.

As soon as Tony’s family home comes into view, you let out a soft gasp at the beauty of it, as the rays of sun make it look almost iridescent as they shine on the white exterior. You’re not sure where to look as you’re getting closer, as the garden is also breathtaking, and you’re looking forward to seeing it all. And then, right when Tony parks his car, the two owners of it walk out to greet you both, huge smiles on their faces as they see you two.

“Welcome home, Angel,” Tony says before getting out of the car and rushing over to your side so he can open the door, a quick greeting being exchanged before he opens it. The next few moments go by in a blur, as you’re quickly being pulled into a hug by Maria, her arms tight around you as her floral perfume makes you think of home. Her warmth and happiness make you smile as you say hi to her, and she hums in response.

“Welcome to our home,” she says, her Italian accent shining through as she does. Tony has told you before how the two of them met while Howard was vacationing in Italy, and their summer romance turned into the rest of their lives as she moved to the United States to pursue their love. Now, they’re happily retired and enjoying life together, and you can’t wait to live a similar life with Tony when you’re older.

“È un onore incontrarti, Maria,” you say after she let you go, and her eyes go wide as she hears you speaking Italian. Even if it’s not perfect, she’s still extremely grateful for it, as it shows her that you’ve put some tremendous effort into it before coming here. She gives you a loving smile before grabbing your hands, squeezing them gently.

“The honor is all ours, Tesoro,” she whispers, and when you look at Tony you see he’s looking at you with wide eyes, as he didn’t know you’ve been studying to speak Italian, even if it’s only a few sentences. His heart is about to leap out of his chest from happiness, pride visible on his face as he kisses you on your cheek before whispering an ‘I love you so much,’ in your ear. He learns new things about you every day, and this was certainly one of the best things he has ever experienced with you.

Then, as Tony lets you go in order to get a big hug from his mom, Howard pulls you in for a hug as well, welcoming you to their home as well.

“Thank you for the invite, Mr. Stark-”

“Oh please, you can call me Howard! You’re part of the family, so there’s no need for those formalities!” he says as his hands are on your shoulders, his eyes bright with excitement as he says the word ‘family’. After everything Tony has been through in his past relationships, Howard couldn’t be happier with someone like you by his son’s side, as he wishes nothing but love for him.

“Well, thank you, Howard. I really appreciate the two of you opening up your home to me,” you say, and then it’s finally time to head inside. Their house is like a slice of Italy in New York, which combined with the countless photos of Tony from his baby years all the way to now, makes it feel like home. In the kitchen, Maria was working on preparing lots of little Italian snacks and dishes to enjoy, while Tony and Howard led you to the large garden.

You’re unsure where to look first, as you want to see it all, though that is quickly taken care of when Tony interlaces his fingers with yours in order to show you around. There are countless flowers blooming, making their garden look like paradise as you walk over the footpath. Tony recalls many memories, and when you’re both out of sight, he pulls you close to him.

Without saying another word, he cups your cheeks as his thumbs rub over your cheekbones, sending a shiver down your spine as he looks at you.

“How’re you feeling? Are you enjoying yourself?” His voice is soft and filled with love, and you nod as your cheeks heat under his touch. Last night, something inside you both changed for the better, as you’re even more in love now. Last night you shared one of many firsts together, and it’s only the beginning of the rest of your lives together.

“It’s so fun to be here! Seeing where you grew up and hearing all the stories fill me with so much happiness that it feels like I might burst soon! And your parents are a true delight, as well. You’re very lucky to have grown up with them. I actually see a lot of them in you as well, and it makes you adorable,” you tell him, which makes Tony’s cheeks heat up adorably.

“You are adorable, Angel,” he says before capturing your lips with his, the kiss soft and loving as you both take your time to enjoy the moment. The birds are chirping all around you, and the sun shines down on your both, adding to the warmth of the moment.

“I love you,” you whisper before giving him a last kiss on his cheek and grabbing his hand again, wanting to go back and hear all the stories that Howard and Maria could possibly share about Tony when he grew up. The rest of the day is spent with lots of laughter, many stories of Tony from his childhood and teenage years, and of course the amazing food Maria has made. But then, you get the one question you didn’t expect to hear today,

“So, how did you two enjoy yourselves last night?” The tone with which Maria says it lets you know she knows exactly what has happened between you two, and right on cue, both Tony and yourself turn redder than a tomato. x

That night, after saying goodbye to Howard and Maria, you and Tony drive back in silence as you’re thinking about the day you just had. And it’s official: this is the family you’re happy to marry into one day. They’ve shown you nothing but love today, and you’re even more excited to share your life with him. This day has changed everything, and you’ve never felt more welcome in your life, all thanks to your future father- and mother in law.

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