#emma roulette

[emmaroulette]

Cover illustration for German magazine Capital

[cicerobussytransplant]

a point worth making when talking about the decrease of sexually explicit movies is that its happening simultaneously with an increase of intimacy coordinators and stronger awareness wrt making actors comfortable performing them. and potentially contractual power to refuse to do them without shooting your career in the foot

like yes, sure a lot of ppl watching are uncomfortable with sex scenes in many ways tumblr routinely dunks on, but also like lmao exploitation of young women who had to make rent-money and could be coerced into nudity/sex scenes they werent comfortable with was an issue in the industry for the longest time (and still is)

[freckleslikestars]

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once, I want my life to be like an 80s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

25 films for 25 years {12/25} EASY A (2010) dir. Will Gluck

plot description from IMdB, [insp: ☆★☆★ ]

[eternalgirlscout]

congrats to all gay trent crimm truthers on getting to throw our tin hats in the air like we graduated

[imaginearson]

why are we turning Emma into an eldritch horror with this McDonald’s arc guys. /lh

it could be.. worse… -><-

[iconuk01]

Believe it or not I had this on the wall of my room at college. I think it confused my first year room mate (Who I did NOT get along with for SO many reasons) who was convinced I was gay*.

I also got it because it had that badass Emma in classic outfit AND the Hellions AND I loved Mary Wilshire's art style.

* Well, yes, I was and I knew it, but I wasn't out, wasn't dating, and it was none of his damn business in any event (He was 125% hetero)

[swanfireprincessmydear]

“Every lesson forms a new scar.”

- Taylor Swift (Eyes Open).

[justdealingwithsomeissues]

Jetstream’s neck was snapped when Fitzroy grabbed him, killing him instantly... and Beef (yeah... that is really his name) also dies as he is just smacked through a buuilding, into a 2nd, and falls like a dozen stories

[comicbooksaregood]

Firestar

Volume: 1

Issue: 4

Now Strikes the Assassin

Writers: Tom DeFalco

Pencils: Mary Wilshire

Inks: Steve Leialoha

Colours: Daina Graziunas

Covers: Barry Windsor-Smith

Marvel

[lyriccl]

@abyssin replied to your post:

childe in the middle of stabbing someone: what

"Some people really, really deserve to be stabbed. Think you can get my brother next?"

[writteninscarlet]

.

[emmaroulette]

Illustration for Bloomberg about about how buying a new car is essentially out of reach for most Americans. AD Steph Davidson

[rockethorse]

Stocking Stuffer 1/5: A Bajillion Random Painting Recolours

Happy Holidays to all! While I'm proud that last year I finally managed to achieve a longtime goal of sharing a full TS2 Advent Calendar, I'm simply not gonna be able to pull it off this year. Nonetheless, the holidlay spirit has encouraged me to finish up and share a couple of things before the end of the year! I'll be sharing five little gifts over the next few arbitrary days. First up: A BUNCH of Maxis painting recolours.

One recolour each of A/B/C Stroke (yes, I still enjoy playing with these as three separate paintings) using vintage matchbook covers designed by Saul Bass for The Ohio Match Company.

Two recolours +frames for Abstrutionism; "Poppy Cake" by Adolf Fényes (1910), and then this edit of Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth (1948) to include Bella Goth (the original Tumblr poster has deactivated).

A recolour of Anonymous Masterpiece with these two digital paintings by user chestnutroan featuring their farmer Sim and his two alien daughters.

One recolour of the Arghist Soldier with "Friday Nights" by Deborah DeWit (2006), perfect for your novel-enthusiast Sims' reading nook.

One recolour of City Skyline with a fruit & veg painting by Twitter user snail_soup (you can buy a real print of this too if you like it!)

One recolour of the Fourth Element wall scroll with "From Stardust to Stardust - Raccoon" by user ArtOfMienda.

Four Vegetables recoloured with four deliciously juicy tomato paintings by artist Leah Gardner.

Geometry 101 recoloured with a beautiful palette knife painting by Lynn Boggess.

Two recolours of Grilled Cheese (you all know what Grilled Cheese looks like, c'mon); one vintage ad for Hollywood Diet bread which I cleaned/redrew to remove text/graphics, and then "Cloud Rows" by Ivan Eyre (2004).

In The Beginning (+frame) recoloured with "Little Thief" by Courtney / Trash Kitty Art (also available as an affordable IRL print).

Kitten vs. Yarn (+frame) recoloured with this goache painting by user ieafy.

"Until Tonight" by Mark Grantham (2019) slapped on Lady On Red.

Two recolours of Living Room; "Midwestern Summer Fun" by user ink-the-artist (you may wanna zoom in for a surprise), then "Girl On A Swing" (2000) by Andrew Macara.

One recolour of Marketing Print with the Beatles as drawn by other Beatles. I don't remember who drew who because I'm actually not much of a Beatles fan but I thought these sketches were really darling.

In Memory of Johnny Gnome (+frame) recoloured with a piece by Emma Roulette.

A recolour of My First Holiday with art from Twitter user heikala_art.

On Pointed Toes (+frame) recoloured with this digital painting by Twitter user catwheezie.

I fell in love with this Guinness ad so I tweaked it from the photo to fit on the Route 66 poster, then made an accompanying Simlish option.

A single Scruffles recolour (+frame) with this adorable cow illustration by Twitter user poodlewool.

Four recolours of the Sim Noir pop art print; three pieces by Al Parker I found through this Tweet (with some English removed) and then an edit of the original painting to look passingly familiar...

Two recolours (+frames) of Snoozing Enemies; "The Cat on the Pillow" by Adolf von Becker, and "Sleeping Sasha" by Lena Rivo.

Stiller Life (+frame) recoloured with this oil painting of McDonalds by artist Noah Verrier.

Two recolours (+frames) of Stumped Hound; "Shadow" by Tianyi Zhou and "cat falling off table" by user anasauruss.

The Muse recoloured with this Juxtapoz magazine cover by artist Josh Courlas.

And lastly, three recolours of Untitled (the Bella Goth pop art painting) with works by Hiroshi Nagai.

Download All Paintings @ SFS

[ceriseverse]

Emma Gilbert (Nanda) – Metamorphosis

like or reblog if you liked/saved it. action por @harupsds de @crowngraphic Russian Roulette psd por @polarxsfrost

[fichubbieslvrrr]

💢 Pay Up! 💢

pairing: Taiju x Fem!reader

cw : nsfw, repaying debt, oneshot

a/n : ugh why did he have to be so fine!!! cross posted on ao3

wc : ≈3k

Once again you're in this mess.

Twenty thousand dollars in debt due to your gambling addiction.

Life really is funny...you despised your father for wasting every ounce of money he got on slot machines, roulette, poker, all sorts of nonsense.

Yet, here you are...in the same position.

"Emma, what should I do!?," you ask your best friend desperately.

She gazes up at you with a bored expression...you can't blame her though...she's probably tired of seeing you get yourself in these situations.

With a slow blink, she drawls,"Uhh...well...you gotta pay it back..."

You give her an unimpressed expression.

"Yeah I know that much...but how?"

She looks at the ceiling for a bit before looking back at you.

"Well you could ask a loan shark for money..."

You stare at her for a moment...

"Emma... girl...I love you but...that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

She scoffs in offense," How!? It's a good idea!"

You shake your head, " No...it's not...I'll just be going from one debt to another."

She pauses before speaking, "Well..yeahhh...but there's more at play here than just that..."

You listen intently.

"Those casino guys are hardcore, if you don't repay them...they could kill you...or worse..."

"What's worse than getting killed...?" You ask genuinely.

"Well...truth is they might not kill you, because then they won't get back their money...so...the next option would be to sell you...to make back up the money."

You freeze. Your face going pale as you imagine something like that happening to you. Your blood runs cold thinking about it.

You swallow thickly, "Um...so how's the loan shark thing gonna work...?"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You stand in front of the imposing Shiba nightclub. It really comes to life as the sun goes down. You've passed it a couple times before but never went in...it just seemed, out of your price range.

But today, you'll have no choice but to walk through those doors to meet with...𝘩𝘪𝘮

You shudder at the thought.

From what Emma told you, he's an ex gang leader, who opened a nightclub after his little brother passed away. He still runs some sketchy businesses though, using the nightclub as a way to clean his blood money.

Owing him won't be fun but at least you'll be able to get those casino thugs off your back.

You walk through the messy crowd of sweaty, sticky bodies, grinding and swaying against each other. It takes everything in you not to vomit. Finally you're met with a staircase but as you walk up it, a firm grip lands on your hand.

"Where the hell are you going darlin'~?", A man dressed in all black asked.

"Um...I need to see...uh...Mr. Taiju Shiba please."

"The boss?...You a hooker?"

You shake you head quickly. You didn't think you gave off that impression especially when you're dressed in a crew neck sweater and ankle length skirt.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴?

"No, I'm here to um... ask for a loan." You raise your voice slightly to compete with the blasting music in the club.

The man nods, smiling at you which revealed his gold tooth before sending you upstairs.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As you reach on the flat the noise gets quieter, you look around at the aquariums filled with exotic fish decorating the room. The scent irritates your nose, it reeks of alcohol and cigarette smoke.

As you walk deeper into the room, you notice two guards stationed on either side, they do nothing but look at you closely.

Eventually, you face forward, your eyes landing in a large man sitting in a circular couch and he swirls a glass of whiskey in his hand. He's not paying much attention to you, instead he's busy looking at paperwork.

One of the guards notice this and call out to him. "Boss...the lady."

It tears his attention away from the stack of papers as he looks at you.

"What?..."

Holy shit this guy is scary! His hair slicked back with a tattoo running up his neck. His face a bit scarred and a harsh gaze. Plus...he's huge.

He stands up, slowly walking toward you... he's got to be at least 6'4.

You fidget where you stand as he halts in front or you, a menacing expression on his face.

"You gonna answer me or not!?" His face contorting in anger.

You clutch your purse with shaky hands as you try to answer him.

"U-um...I ...I need a loan... please..." You managed to get those few words out, barely making eye contact with him in fear.

He suddenly erupts in laughter resting his heavy hand on your shoulder.

"You look like you're gonna shit your pants!" He jokes crudely, "I haven't seen someone look at me like that in a while!"

Roughly, he wraps an arm around your shoulder as he walks back to the couch, tugging you along.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You sit in silence as he lights a cigarette, putting it to his lips.

"So...what's the deal with you now...?" He stares straight into your eyes as he blows a puff of smoke in your direction.

Blocking your nose discreetly form inhaling the toxic air, you answer.

"Well, I need to borrow twenty thousand dollars."

His eyes widen before he laughs in your face.

"Twenty thousand dollars!? What did you get yourself into to be needing that much money!"

You look to the ground feeling embarrassed, "...it's complicated."

His face goes serious again...god this guy is crazy...

He sighs before taking another puff. "Well sorry little lady, I don't give out that much money to first time borrowers."

Your face drops, you feel like you've been pushed into a bottomless pit of despair. If he won't give you the money...how are you gonna pay off your debt...

"Sir please," your voice trembling, "I really need this money, I promise I'll pay you back if you could just—"

His hand goes up ,signaling for you to stop talking. He pushes the cigarette butt into the ashtray as he leans back on the couch, watching you...

"I don't run this business on promises...but since I love helping out a desperate woman..." He chuckles coldly, "I'll loan you the money."

You want to smile and be glad that you got what you wanted but the expression on his face only shows that you've gotten yourself in more trouble than you bargained for.

'𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯' The words repeat in your mind...and they don't sound good

But nonetheless, you can't be picky right now so you listen to his terms.

"I'll give you the cash, then you'll have 2 weeks to pay it back to me, with five thousand dollars interest."

𝘍𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵!?...𝘑𝘦𝘴𝘶𝘴 𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵.

"O-ok, got it." You hesitantly agree.

He laughs bitterly, "If you don't pay it back in time...then you'll have to show me what that little body of yours can do."

This time you can't contain the scowl that appears on your face. You're not naive, you expected something along those lines but at least it'll be with him alone and you won't be sold into prostitution...hopefully.

But either way, you won't let it get to that point. Come hell or high water, you'll pay this man back his money.

Clearing your throat you reply as confidently as you can.

"Alright, deal."

—2 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧—

You've cleared your casino debt and haven't gambled since, making you feel quite proud of yourself.

As for the money you owe Taiju...well a perfect solution fell right onto your lap.

You had been struggling to think of ways to pay him back (without having to sleep with him) but you came up with nothing. Even the ideas that you did have wouldn't be able to get you twenty-five thousand dollars in such a short amount of time.

Then it happened.

Your grandmother passed away and left you and each one of your cousins, fifty thousand dollars.

You couldn't believe your luck, although it's a shame half of that money had to go to a loan shark but still it's a much better situation than you were in before.

And you weren't that close with your grandmother anyway so...you definitely weren't in mourning or anything.

You put the money in a backpack and head to the nightclub.

Having this much cash on you at night is not enjoyable but you remain calm...no one knows you have it so you'll be fine.

You can see the lights of the nightclub ahead but as you pass an alley, a figure emerges.

You freeze as you hear a click close to your head.

"Drop the bag." The voice orders as he points a gun at you.

With tears threatening to fall from your eyes, you take the bag off your shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

Swiftly the man picks it up, chuckling quietly as he runs past you.

And you swear...just for a split second...

You can see the glimmer of a gold tooth under the moonlight...

But you're in too much shock to focus on that right now. You stand still as a statue as you contemplate what to do next.

Should you still go to the nightclub and tell Taiju you were robbed?...Would he even care?

Obviously not.

Should you go home and get the remainder money you have?

Ultimately, you decide to go to the club and explain the situation to him and maybe ask him for another week.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You tread up the stairs weakly, dreading seeing him.

He's waiting for you with a large grin on his face...

"Well look who's here! But...I don't see my money on you?"

You slouch onto the sofa, gazing at him with an exhausted expression before you muster up the words.

"I...I was robbed...I had the money...I swear...if you could give me more ti—"

You try to plead with him but he interrupts you, his voice low and serious.

"I don't do that, I gave you two weeks...and you agreed to it," He continues, "So either you make magic and the money appears in front of me right now or..."

You rest your head in your palms, feeling defeated and hopeless as he speaks to you.

"Aww don't look so upset...I'll fuck you real good, I promise." He laughs mockingly.

The two guards stationed immediately leave the room, and that's when you know...it's getting serious.

He tugs at your long accordion skirt, pulling it all the way down.

"Oh you got some pretty legs..."

He rubs the plush skin, pushing his thumb firmly against your inner thigh.

"But you dress like an old church lady."

You remain silent just watching him with a scornful frown.

"Aw don't pout those glossy lips..."

He leans close to your ear, whispering.

"...maybe they'll look better wrapped around my cock."

Your breath hitches as he roughly pressed his mouth against your neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks.

His hand grabs your shirt, pulling the buttons open and pushing his hand into your bra.

You gasp, holding onto his hand to try to slow him down.

He lifts up from your neck, slapping your hand away as he rips down your bra.

𝘎𝘰𝘥 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦...

He puts his mouth on your soft breasts, flicking his tongue against your sensitive nipple.

Your head tilts back, quiet whimpers escaping your mouth.

"...ah ...hah...ah ..."

You feel him smile smugly against your breasts.

"Ah~...you're enjoying this aren't you~"

He stands up in front of you, his hand swiftly unbuckling his belt.

Your eyes widen as he pulls off his pants...

...It's so big...

You can't help but stare at the imprint of his cock straining through his boxers, the head tucked to the left with his heavy balls between his legs.

You feel your face heat up, turning away in embarrassment.

"Take it off for me doll~..."

He puts your hands on his waistband, urging you to pull down his boxers.

Despite your reluctance, you're still very curious to see his size, without anything in the way.

You do as he says, letting his boxers drop.

You gasp slightly as his thick, hard cock springs free, twitching in your face.

"Come on~, you gonna look at it all day..? Y'know what to do~" He grins down at you eagerly.

You hold the base firmly...god it feels so heavy in your hand.

Slowly, you begin giving the tip kitten licks, tasting the salty precum that leaks from him.

His hands grip your hair tightly.

"As cute as this looks, if you're gonna make me cum..."

"you'll have to use the back of your throat~!"

Suddenly he pushes his cock down your throat, bucking his hips in your mouth as you choke.

"Ahh~ that's—hah— much...better,"

Your eyes water as you look up at him, too stuffed to protest, plus his hand keeps your head steady on his cock.

You suck as much as you could as he hammers your throat.

Until finally you feel that warm liquid fill your mouth.

He releases his grip on you, letting his glistening cock slip out your mouth.

You pant for air, coughing as you swallow every drop of his cum.

He lifts your chin to look at him. "Mm that taste good~?"

You ignore his question as you wipe your mouth, trying to get the bitter taste of his cum off you...must be all that smoking and alcohol....

You lean back on the sofa, eyes closed, breathing heavily to catch your breath.

"Don't relax too much doll face..."

You open your eyes to see him looking at you hungrily as he strokes his cock, drops of precum forming at the tip.

"But you just came!?" You groan in disbelief.

He chuckles bitterly,"So? ... I'm not satisfied until I can pound that tight pussy of yours~"

Abruptly, he pushes your legs up on the couch, making the wet spot on your underwear visible.

"Ah~ so you're liking this much more than I thought..." He teases, tracing his thumb over the spot.

You cover your face in embarrassment as he takes off your underwear, leaving you very exposed to him, just as he wanted.

But your arms quickly fall to the side as you feel his broad tongue swipe over your wet slit, making a moan slip out your mouth.

You gaze down at him teary eyed, watching as he spits and suckles on your clit, slurping up every bit of liquid that oozes out of you.

"O-oh god~ ...wait...not...so rough..." You whine, yet you're grinding against his tongue.

He chuckles at your movements, then lets his tongue delve into your gummy walls, swirling around as he laps up everything inside you.

Tears roll down your cheeks as your legs start shaking, your hands tangling in his hair as he pushes the firm muscle in more.

"Mmhm...god yes~ keep going~..." You moan out while writhing against his face.

To your dismay, he pulls out his tongue, a string of saliva following it.

Your half lidded eyes gaze at him as he kneels on the couch pushing your legs up to touch your shoulders as he positions himself at your achingly needy entrance.

Grinning at you, he leans down close to your face.

"Let's see how much you can take pretty girl~..."

Your mouth hangs open as he pushes in, not giving you time to adjust to his size.

Desperately you grab onto his arms digging your fingers into his skin as you let out raspy moans.

You see stars as he bottoms out, his cock throbbing inside you.

"Hah...fuck you're so tight~..."

He pulls out halfway before slamming it in again, pounding you relentlessly.

"But I'll fuck your pussy till it's loose~"

You make desperate, incoherent sentences as he hits your sweet spot over and over and over again.

Pressing his forehead against yours, he quickens his pace, fucking you hard as you scream a string of curse words.

You look down at the fast movements of his cock sliding in and out of you. You didn't want to enjoy this but it just feels so good...

And your body doesn't lie...

He places his thumb your clit, rubbing the puffy, swollen nub as he pummels you.

Your legs on his shoulders giving him full access to fill your greedy pussy that just keeps sucking him in.

You put your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly as your body peaks.

"Yeah ..hah...that's it...cum on my cock."

Your vision goes white as you climax intensely, your pussy squirting sweet juices on him.

He laughs at your blissed out expression but not letting up on fucking you.

"Be good and let me fill you up nicely doll face~ alright..."

You bite your lip as his hips stutter, cumming deep inside you.

You gaze up at his face, low grunts and groans escaping his lips.

God he looks...so fucking hot...

Slowly, he pulls out, grinning smugly as he watches his cum spill out of you, slapping your pussy lightly.

"Mm, you did very good~" He rubs your cheek, pinching it gently.

You look at him with tired eyes, his intense gaze staring back at you.

Breathlessly, you whisper to him.

"Taiju...can we...do this again sometime?"

He grins.

[popculturebuffet]

Superhero Wedding Special III: The Wedding of Wally West and Linda Park

Happy belated valentine's day all you happy people! And it's time once again for my favorite tradition on this blog: the superhero wedding special.

For those just joining us I love a good wedding "episode", wether it be a good tv wedding like Adventure Time or Community, a good wedding movie like Father of the Bride or a good old fashiond superhero wedding. And since there are both so many comic book weddings and so many I haven't covered, for the past three years i've let my patreons each pick one, picked one myself, then put all four in a poll for you fine folks to choose from. First year was a tie between Rogue and Gambit's stolen wedding and Aunt Man and Doc Ock's near marriage that ended in a nuclear explosion off the coast of Canada, and last year Hulking and Wiccan had a quick wedding via mid crossover flashback among friends, then had another celebration for the whole superhero community post crossover.

Both races were tight: one was a tie and last years eeked out a win against the Batman/Catwoman wedding fiasco. So this year was a bit diffrent. Not only did I use Tumblr's minty fresh new poll system.. but the results.. weren't even remotely close.

Yeah Wally and Linda won HALF of the 18 votes for this poll, beating out Emma's choice of Lex Luthor's Space wedding, Kev's roulette wheel choice of the recent Emma Frost Tony Stark Wedding, and Brotoman.exe's runner up Luke Cage and Jessica Jones. All good choices.. but it's clear what the people wanted. Ya'll REALLY love Wally West on here, love him even more with Linda and I wholeheartedly agree. While I didn't see this landslide coming, I'm pleased as punch it happened.

So before we introduce our couple, as is tradition let's track how we got to these nuptials.

Wally was in a weird place when he met Linda, both in and out of universe. In universe.. he'd been turned into a porcupine man somehow and was being hunted by Captain Cold during his stint as a bounty hunter.

Point is he met Linda as a newswoman. Out of universe Wally had a bit of a creative rough patch in the 80's. Wally started the 80's in one of the most influental and important books of the decade and one of it's best, The New Teen Titans. And he was easily.. the weakest member of the team.

See while his teamates were either fresh new characters Wolfman and Perez refined as they went (Starfire, Raven, Cyborg) or ones who had long since needed a new coat of paint and got a second act out of the deal (Dick Grayson, Donna Troy and Beast Boy), Wally.. was the odd man out. The team tried to make him the token conservative and a reluctant hero: one who knows he has a duty but is just.. tired of it and wants to retire. NOthing wrong with that, it can be a good angle. The problem is Wally spends the book either whining about not wanting to be a hero instead of just being honest with his friends, who have plenty of power without him, or declaring raven evil out of hand. And he does have a leg to stand on in not liking her, she made him love her. But instead of focusing on that he just assumes any time she looses control slightly she's evil now and stops carring about her because of something that, unlike the brainwashing thing, was entirely out oc her control. You can read more about all this here in this mammoth I did on the series.

The takeaway is that Wally sucked. Then Crisis on Infinite Earths Happened and Barry died heroically sacrifcing himself. Wally swore at the end of that series he wouldn't become the flash... but one year later with the next crossover Legends he did.

So Wally got his own brand new solo written by Mike Baron who reworked Wally's character.. and somehow made him MORE insufferable, making him into an egotisticla impulsive ladies man who cheated on his girlfriend, let his mother walk all over his new girlfriend, a married woman he was having an affair with. He also was a giant dick to Chunk, a neurotypical genius with black hole powers and planned to exploit him. He also won the lottery, a thing that sure did happen and sure was necessary and not a cheap gimmick no one asked for yes sir.

THe baron run.. was a mess. With Wolfman and perez I can at least see what they were going for and tha tit simply failed. Here I don't know what the fuck Baron was thinking.

Thankfully soon after William Messner Loebs took over, and while i've only read a smidgen of his run and wish more was collected, it's an instant improvment: Wally looses his fortune and becomes more of a relatable every man, the "you could have a beer with him" sort whose just at home at a hockey game as he is fighting snake themed terrorists.

So with Wally's new personality came a stable love intrest in Linda. Linda was just what Wally needed: someone who saw through all his bullshit, that all the swaggering and screwing around was compensating for the mountain of issues he refused ot work through.

Linda ended up seeing enough of Wally's good nature to start dating him casually, which lasted into the Mark Waid run, where the two were truly fleshed out as a couple.. and which i've read a solid chunk of. Mark Waid is seen as the man who truly made wally the flash and it's hard to argue that as Wally grew as a person bit by bit over the run. He was still impulsive, down to earth and quippy as fuck, but the overcompensation, horn doggery and assholishness were gone. He also gave wally his full backstory, and helped him finally get over comparisons to barry, making his speed limit that internalized imposter syndrome I mentiond: he was scared of replacing Barry.. but more scared of letting THIS BASTARD DO IT.... god I gotta cover the Return of Bary Allen sometime.

So through all this growth for Wally, he and linda grew as a couple: When Linda asked just how serious they were Wally balked, then got caught up on a flash thing... before speeding his way on a train to ask her to stay. The two have great chemistry: Linda likes Wally's fun nature, down to earth stylez and the fact he dosen't treat her like she's made of glass.. most of the time (Some incidents shook him up a bit), while Wally loves her no nonsense atittude, the only thing that often cuts thorugh his bullshit when he hyperfixates on his latest problem. She's his rock, he's her roll, and they need that ballance. She keeps him grounded.. and not just in the speed force, as discovering it nearly caused wally to loose himself.. but her love anchored him back.

So their marriage was inevitible and while I coudln't find the proposal issue, it's no suprise it happened: the two loved each other deeply and there's a reason they got so much love in this poll, and it's nice the two are back solidly as a couple with no signs of more ediotial fuckery making one of them not exist or forget the other or whatever.

So with that we're at the wedding. It came towards the end of Mark waid's run, right before Geoff Johns also super special awesome run, with Johns getting to define their married life more. It also begins a bit of a weird arc i'll talk about when we get to the end of the issue btu for now it's a blessed day for a blessed couple under the cut.

Since the wedding itself is supervillain free, we open with a big action set piece. Said set piece is excellent: Waid really knows how to write a flash story and sneakily choose villians who were key to Wally and Linda's history: Kobra

I had to and Mark waid had to know what he was doing introdcuing a snake themed terroist group. Kobra is a cult/terriorst group ran by Kobra with a K. They nearly destroyed Keystone City during the Terminal Velocity arc, with Wally forced to go as fast as he possibly could to save Linda, nearly loosing himself in the process. This is where the anchor thing happened. What I really like is the story.. dosen't bring this up. He just mentions he's "tussled with them" before, so newer readers don't have to get an info dump, but people who've been reading a while get the continuity nod.

It's a fun opener too as Wally zooms around, interogates a guy by shaking him real hard, and finds out Kobra's hiding at Broome Plaza, a nice nod to Wally co-creator John Broome. Kobra can teleport so he nopes out, but wally uses a neat trick: since he's faster than sound, he can catch up to what their saying.. and thus evacuate city hall before their bomb goes off. Said attack annoys wally a little but he's able to catch his marriage certificate. It's a good cold open that gives us some flash action.. and allows the rest of the issue to just be a simple plain clothes wedding.

Granted no wedding is simple and Wally reacts to hearing the cake may be off.. is to kidnap a chef from paris.

I.. I want to know how Wally knows this guy, and why he can just kidnap Pierre at a moment's notice. Did he kindap a random chef or do they have a history? Who was he fighting in paris? he WAS part of Justice League Europe for quite some time so it's plausable but dammit I want this story told Mark.

Linda rather than overreacting.. is greatful she has a soon to be husband whose so kind and considerate he'd run al lthe way to paris to kidnap her a baker. The two get down on the floor but before they can get doooowwnwnnn on the floor Linda's parents walk in. Thankfully their quickly distracted though Wally notices something's off: while Linda's had nothing resembling cold feet she freezes up a bit when Wally brushes off his parents, not even having checked if their coming. As you'll soon se he has every reason not to give a shit.

What he does give a shit about is Linda making Bart, aka impulse the ring bearer. Impulse was Wally's equilvent to kid flash and eventually his kid flash, before Wally became Wally's kid flash more recently. That wasn't a typo, there are two of them, it's not important to any of this.

For those less familiar with my boy, Bart is a hyperactive mess, having been raised in virtual reality simulation in the future and thus having trouble slowing down, not helped by being a speedster whose all but said to have ADHD. Wally's relationship with bart's a contrast to Barry's with him: While Barry was a fair mentor and the father Wally needed, Wally.. simply dosen't have the patience to actually train his young ward. Wally and Bart are too much alike, both impulsive, both running a mile a minute, and thus Bart was trained instead by Wally's own secondary mentor Max Mecury, a golden age speedster who has nothing BUT patience and when Max went into comic limbo, the almost as patent first flash Jay Garrick took the reigns. It's a detail I like as it not only set up Bart's own series well but makes sense: Wally can help Bart in small doses and dosen't abandon him, but simply can't handle the kid. It's telling that noawadays while he's taken a roll in mentoring his cousin, Wallace is both way calmer and Wally's matured enough from being a parent to actually handle being a mentor.

Thankfully Linda has patience for both of them and takes care of bart in a really clever way

Sadly the good times can't last and Wally's parents arrive and we see WHY he was so aphrensive about them showing up.

Yeah besides the .. questionable gifts, Waid does a godo job showing WHY he dosen't like them without getting into their histories: Wally's dad gives him a cheap gift and brings a date younger than his own son, and Wally's Mom's every action towards him is some veiled crticisim. Their awful and waid has never sugacoated that, and their constant baggering may explain New Teen Titans era wally in canon: Wally was less himself at the time because he was BADLY trying to be what they wanted and once he got the freedom of being the flash, he snapped back into being who he truly was.

Wally gets them to go away by playing "LOOK A RELATIVE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THEIR INHERTIANCE" and linda tenses up again, not getting at WHY she keeps doing that. Wally is quickly distracted by this hair crime

Oh all the ways i'm going to have fun with this. Okay for starters Dick, your the son of the world's greatest detective. Bruce has taught you better wig game than that and you damn well know it. 80's metal hair is not Nightwing level disguise work Richard.

Second... how is the "Theodore Logan" look less conspcious than the adopted son of a millionare being friends with a public figure?

Third: All this is going to do is have papparzi asking "Whose Wally West's Best Man?". Does Dick have a cover identity all set up for this or did he only think of this plan the 5 minutes it took to buy a "babies first winger costume" wig.

Fourth: right after the rest of the titans show up, and Donna herself is a public figure, having taken pictures of starfire and being a high profile fashion photographer, Roy himself is ward of a billionare and Garth has no secret identity. how is "bruce wayne's son" any less conspcious.

And fifth WHY of all the wigs did he choose a perm that resembles their teammate jericho they watched get stabbed in front of them not a year ago probably in universe. Maybe two.

To my shock by the end Joey was apparently fronting whitesnake so what the hell dick. Why remind all your many friends present "oh yeah remember our friend who got stabbed in the chest in front of us".

So the rest of the titans arrive and somehow don't razz Dick for this hair crime, though even through that perm dick can sense somethin'gs off with linda. We get mor ehints why as Wally dosen't intorduce the titans to his family: Linda was the one to invite them and while he's glad they came he's not really.. close to any of them. The people he is make a bit more of an intrance, as the JLA arrive, with Superman worried about paparazzi. I mean dick will never live down that perm if they see it.

Wally kept the location on the DL.. which won't really stop paparazzi , even 90's paparazzi, and just makes Dick's hair somehow more rediculous. Any more and it'll become a force unto itself.

Thankfully more of Wally's REAL family shows up: Iris. for those wondering why this is a big deal at the time Iris was living in the future: she's from the 30th century, it's a long story, point is she stayed there after Barry's death both to raise her kids and to avoid spoiling the future. Ironically she'd come back full time during the next run as the future changed enough she had no idea what to expect, but for now Wally's worried she'll give her dad a heart attack.. only for her to explain she already went and saw her dad and explained stuff. Family is important.

This finally snaps Linda's bugging into focus for Wally: family. Wally's been icing his out and THAT'S what linda keeps being nervous about. So , not supposed to see the bride be dammned, he goes to iron this out in a beautiful scene that both explains WHY he's like this to his family, something we've clearly seen, and why Linda's in no danger

IT's really well done, and I like that Wally acknowledges his extended family.. did nothing wrong. He was just so determined to keep his parents away he accidently kept them away too and geninely wants to work on it. I don't think he DOES, but the comic both changes gears then changes writers after this, and I can't blame Geoff for not following up on this. He was never scared of her.. he just has bad parents.

I also like that the comic has the aseop that it's ENTIRELY okay Wally wants to push his parents away and wants nothing to do with them. There are far too many bits of media that ar elike "Oh your birth family is important, you shouldn't pusht hem away. Your parents mean something".. but forget that sometimes parents are abusive shit stains. I was lucky to get a wonderful mom and a dad I can at least talk to, but not everyone has a good relationship with their parents or wants to be around them. WE've seen how little they actually care about wally or his big day, and how much having them there throws him off. Yet we've also subtly seen.. wally HAS family. He's found family with the titans, with the League. You don't need blood to be a family. You just need love, to respect one another and to be there.. and Wally and LInda have that.

So it's time for the ceremony with the wedding party apparently only consisting of Beavis, Jesse Quick (Close ally of Wally's and fellow speedster) and Bart. It's then Wally realizes something and handles it like the responsible about to be married man he is.

Yeah the fastest man alive, who was hovering over his wife as she planned this ceremony... forgot his vows. it's so wally it hurts and i'm here for it. Thankfully he's the fastest man alive and after thinking back on their history, the good, the bad, and how she's always made him feel... he simply says his vows from the gut, which really is again the most wally west thing imaginable and i'm still here for it.

It's a beautiful speech that sums up their relationship, what they mean..and is also something Wally REALLY shoudl've thought through. You'd think after a decade as a superhero, at least he'd know not to tempt fate as suddenly.. Linda dosen't exisit. Wally finds something with her name, asks dick about it, Dick assumes wally horny Richard, and Dick dosen't even question the haunted wig in his apartment. Linda is trapped and yeah that's how the issue ends.

Yeah, the big milestone wedding.. ends with a fucking kidnapping and leads into an arc I haven't gotten to. And look i'll do a LOT for reasearch, I just covered 20 some issues of Transformers Robots in Disguise so I could cover the crossover with More than Meets the Eye next month, entirely so i'd do it right.. but even i'm not so through that i'd read 18 issues of the flash in an arc i'm eh about reading some day but will probably get to complete the mark waid run for a one and a half issue review.

So the short version of what you missed: Wally disappeared into time and space without LInda to anchor him. Replacing him was Wallace West, an angsty wally from another timeline who replaced him for a while, a storyline I mostly know about because it leaked into JLA for a bit, with Wally revealing his identity to a few people to get their trust. Wallace was the darker and edgier flash no one asked for, fought crime, fell in love... and then Wally came back and rescued LInda, who it turned out had been kidnapped by his old nemisis Abra Kadabra, a magician from the 60th century who as you can tell by how elaborate and dickish this plot is, has a flair for both trying to ruin wally's life and the dramatic. Hilaroiusly, as I read, Wally gets him to undo it.. by pointing out no one knew what he did. So Wallace was supposed to go back and go back miserable because fuck him for wanting to be happy I guess. Can you kinda.. see why I have no real intrest in this storyline outside of Wally and LInda? Maybe pick that up?

So for expediency's sake and to give us a better ending we WILL be covering the flash #159.. but just the wally and linda parts as we don't really need Wallace's dramatic exit.

We do start on it though as the League demands he go home and can't take his girlfriend with him. He picked up a girlfriend it's a thing. Superman is being an uncharactristic super ass while Wally is being less than helpful.. albeit given Wallace DIN'T have his memories of Linda erased and could've been helping them, I can't say I blam ehim.

So once Wallace leaves to have one last good day, Bart, having the tact of a tornado on roller skates, asks when the wedding resumes. Wally decides right the fuck now and speeds into actoin to get everything: catering, her parents farmhouse ready again, the lisence.

Wally spends the day even more hyperactive than usual... which is somehow indeed possible. The superheroes around Linda assure her it's fine, with Donna being the only one to make sure things haven't changed. Linda still LOVES wally.. but she can see something's wrong. And unlike with her on the previous wedding day, Wally's FAR less subtle about it so I don't know why no one else is like "okay maybe we shoudl check on him.

We get to the wedding itself.. and Linda holds it, not wanting to Marry wally while he's having what's clearly a barely supressed emotoinal breakdown.

I love this because it really.. boils down their dynamic: Linda loves wally, who he is and dosen't doubt that for a second.. but she's also 9/10 the one who pulls his head out of his ass. Wally's a good guy, we've seen it here.. but he acts first asks later, and LInda's one the remind him that you have to slow down every once in a while and have a conversation. Also yeah, between Dick's wig and Clark's super pope hat he's bummed he didn't get to wear to this because you bastards didn't ask him to officiate, they've seen weirder.

Wally agrees, yeah that's it. He saw a version of himself who went down a dark path.. and really wasn't THAT diffrent. All it took was loosing linda, which is WHY Walter is an edgelord for the record. Linda.. isn't amused, especially since Wally implies part of this is to widen the gap between them. Wally's friends are.. less than sympathetic. Well okay Roy is. It's just roy actually, Max is worried and Jay knows they just need to work it out and will. But roy well..

That is both a perfect exchange for those two.. and entirely why Roy isn't invited to weddings that much. I only think he got into this one as Donna's +1.

Wally however.. assures her that's not the case and once again gets a fantastic speech in

It's a heartfelt speech and get's linda to just.. skip to the i dos, the two kiss and one of the most solid marriages in all of comcis begins. It's a beautiful speech.

As for the issues themselves.. their okay. Yeah for such a great couple and with so many great moments, the first issue feels a bit short, like we needed more time for the wedding and the whole stupid kidnapping plot means we get cheated out of a reception, which as we've seen from both Rogue and Gambit and Teddy and Billy's nuptial's, is often some of the best stuff, allowing a bunch of characters to bounce off each other. Instead since the circumstances are dire after the intital wedding and dire right before the makeup, with our heroes recovering for it, we don't really get to have FUN with this. There's good moments, but these weddings are a bit of a disapointment and I don't know what Mark Waid or Ediotiral was thinking with this. It's still JUST good enough to not be a complete waste of your time, I recommend at least 142, but it still coudl've been SO much better and it's a shame this is the first wedding for this feature I just. .haven't been that jazzed about. I wanted to like it. the art for the first issue does not help, being all kinds of rediuclous and giving us the enternal shame that is Dick Grayson's perm.

So where did Wally and LInda go from here? Well honestly.. marital bliss at first. As I said Geoff Johns run, a brilliant followup to what Mark Waid did that brought back the Rogues after Waid wrote them out and redefined Captain Cold, follows them as newlyweds: they deal with space, moving, and LInda going back to college for a subplot that ultimately goes nowhere outside of one kidnapping by a prince from another dimension. Story for another time.

The two were solid for the most part and even had an unexpected suprise: TWINS. The two were happy to start their family... but unfortuantely Wally's freshly minted new arch enemy Zoom undid the babies out of his warped thinking tragedy makes better heroes. Which it often does, but feels like a critqiue on piling on tragedy because "that's what sueprheroes are". Granted Geoff Johns isn't innocent of this, but it's still a good lesson.

Afterwards Hal Jordan wiped everyone's memories of wally's identity and after re learning it Linda disappeared before coming back, the babies were restored, and the two had a happy marriage again with kids till infinite crisis. Then wally was put through the SHIT for nigh on a decade until a recent return, a wonderful run you should check out by Jeremey Whitley and a sci fi run I haven't that sounds neat by by my Boy Simon Spurrier. The two aren't without conflict. .but they have a love and understanding that makes them get past it. Wally and Linda have a beautiful relationship and I can't wait to see them again on this blog some day.

For now thanks for reading.