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honestsycrets · 5 years ago

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Hard Sell II: Mother’s Approval

❛ pairing | ivar x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | he’s too shy to say anything.

❛ warnings | verbal argument, crazy family, 4B ivar is my favourite ivar

He sits by that rock looking out at the pier. As he reclines there, watching the waves pull and push onto the pier, Aslaug watches him too. There’s something on his mind, she knows, a mother always knows her son’s needs. She stops by the rock, the back of her hand brushing his prominent cheek bones, and waits.

“Ivar…”

He grunts, turning up from the waters, and regards her softly. “Mother.”

“There are no raiders leaving.” She notices.

“Mm.” He nods, turns his eye back, and she suddenly realizes what it is that he’s looking at. There, in the waters, his best friend pokes at the water with a long pole. She strikes, then fails, and the man beside her roars in laughter, getting a kick of heavy water toward him.

She mentions your name, “I see now.” Her foxish face pulls together, amused. “And the boy?”

“Cousin,” Ivar answers, settling his chin back on his forearm. “So he said.”

“She won’t marry her cousin, Ivar.” She settles beside him. The strange thing of his mother, as he always thought, was her infatuation with him above all his sons. The only one who truly and really loved him. Maybe then-- she was something protective of that role.

“Maybe not,” he grunts.

“Yet still no husband,” her voice pulls, amused. He hates it when she does that. Pointing out something that he knows, and could do something about, but hates all the same. He lowers his head down, barely peering over the leathery gloves.

“No, no husband.” Ivar agrees.

“Any reason why?”

Ivar’s fingers flicker. A growing annoyance-- because despite that chat the other day, nothing had changed. He saw you pick up your skirts, clinging to the form of your legs, and move onto sandy land. He also saw the confidence in which you carried yourself when you knew others were watching. You liked the eyes. His eyes, especially.

Something had to be there. You wink in his direction. It’s for him, he knows that now, and yet… You turn to place your hand back in the binding that the healer had given you to keep it taut against your chest. You’re an awful person to take care of. Always disobeying orders despite the break.

“Ivar!” You shout out to him, rushing to his rock, when you stop. It’s as if you’ve noticed something is astray. Or rather, someone.

“Aslaug,” you bow your head to her. Aslaug’s features soften, grasping Ivar’s arm. There it was, that display of dominance, and Ivar knows that this is the precise reason why you hadn’t done more to chase him. Ragnar didn’t love his mother like Lagertha. Every fool knew that. The way he… he cringes, turns his head away, finds his mother’s eyes.

“Any luck in the waters?” she asks, minding the fishing stick in your hand. You flip the pole in your hand, lowering the prod down to her as your cousin throws a wet sack over his back. “‘fraid not. Einir over here scared the fish away,” you accuse.

Did not, Einir scoffs, blowing out a small tuft of air. “She’s just a shit fisherwoman. Does better watchin’ than she do catchin’” he motions, pausing when Ivar’s eyes catch his, hot and hard. Almost as if to ask him to say that again, no really, say that again. “But-” he punches your arm playfully. “We’ve gotta get to the longhouse. Got some fish for dinner myself. Uncle’s waiting, huh?”

“You should come,” you gesture to Ivar, then pause. Aslaug-- she’d certainly wouldn’t complain if Ivar went, but you keep in mind that Ivar is her lifeforce to Midgard. “You too, Queen Aslaug. Father makes a good roasted fish.”

“Perhaps.”

That’s not awkward. You excuse yourself, punching Einir with your one good hand, even if its still holding the fishing pole. Fuck you, he makes out. Aslaug’s eye follows you until you disappear, then her arm snaps free of him, running instead through his hair.

“Do you want to go?” she asks.

Ivar, gazing back at her, nods. And they go together.

Your family works hard. So it only makes sense that they play hard, booze hard, laugh hard. Aslaug is familiar with this sort of company, but at the same time, she isn’t. They drink over one’s lap, husbands and wives drink of one horn, brothers brawl in the longhouse over the stupidest shit-- there’s your brother now, thrusting Einir across the floor and into the bench like beds that lined the walls.

“Do they always fight like that?” she asks.

You inhale, picking at the roasted fish, regretting all your life choices in that instant. “More or less. Einir calls Eyr something, Eyr calls Einir something, right Ivar?”

“You do the same thing.”

“I do not! I haven’t called them names.” You cut him off quick, tapping Ivar’s prominent forehead. Somewhere along the line, Ivar’s head had met your lap. Aslaug found this unsavoury. If only because she’d never seen him like this before, but the way he smiled, pure and wide, was something that she couldn’t fight about. “...today.”

“Tch,” Ivar clicks his tongue. “Continue to delude yourself.”

“Asshole,” you tell him, like its just you and him. But his mother is there, lips churning into a frown, obviously wise to your words. She leans on the edge of the chair.

“So,” she says, setting her own empty plate aside, and balancing the ale in her fingers. “Ivar says you’re uncalled for.”

“Uncalled for?”

“Mother.”

“You’re unmarried,” behind her, the rustling of Einir and Eyr comes to a complete stop. As does the loud, booming festivities of the evening. Instead they cue into her words. “Surely you aren’t going to remain unmarried. Do you have plans?”

By the gods, Ivar sits up. The safety net of having Ivar there has gone, and in its place, your hands run together with uncertainty. “I hadn’t thought of it. Spend all my time at home or with him.”

“You should.” She says. “There are plenty eligible men in Kattegat of your class.”

Of your class-- your eyes bulge, and so do Ivar’s.

“What does that mean?” Einir stands upright, though with a stagger, given the welt above his eyebrow swelling out. Blood trickles into his lashes. “Ya don’t think she could marry up?”

You gesture your cousin to calm himself, but he’s a farmer’s man, with a raging temper. He’s been busy knocking down timber for trade all night. He’s willing and ready to go, and you sense as much off the way he sets one of those fat palms on your shoulder, standing like a wall of offended muscle.

“Why my girl could marry a goði,” your father chimes in with a slur, and you squeeze your brow, “Father please.”

There’s no real stopping your father, nor your brother, nor your cousin when they started. “In fact! Just look’it ol’Ivar!”

He freezes, staring up like a deer caught in the hunter’s grasp, begging with the old man not to say something. Then, knowing he would, his fear turned to abject anger, his broad nose squeezing tight.

“She’s gottim wrapped around her li’l finger.” He shoves his wife’s shoulder, roaring in a laughter that is almost mocking. “A prince righ’? A prince.”

Aslaug isn’t fazed. Rather she searches you for a reaction. How would you handle this? Ivar’s face was hot and red, swelling up like the surge before the hurricane at sea. Your hand shoots out, cupping over his. Fingers lace up, drawing his attention from the momentary need to lash out, and replacing it with a soothing calm.

“I’m sure she could.”

You release tightly held air.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Since when have you been sorry?” Ivar asks, settled over his rock with his hood drawn up over his shaggy hair.

“Since, uh, now?” you come to sit beside him on the rock, pulling up your dress. His eyes catch the unprotected skin, cementing it to his memory, and he knows he’s in trouble then. His eyes tear away. “No difference. He was right.”

“About what?”

The cool air rushes by, reminding him of his mother’s words: Still no husband? And yet, you could have one, if Frigg willed it. His throat has clammed up on him, dry like a rock. “You have me around your finger.”

It’s ridiculous.

“You can’t be serious. He was drunk Ivar. He didn’t mean that--”

He could. He would. And he is.

“...I do.” His voice quakes, like he’s too shy to actually say it, that I want you-- that I like you-- maybe love you. He’s not sure of it and yet he’s never been more sure of anything else before. He only knows that it feels right when you gaze at him through the crowd, seek him out like a morsel of food among a plate.

He’s sure, more than ever, that this is what he needed.

“Well, I… of course.” You say, your head connecting with his shoulder, breathing in the scent, then exhaling. “You’re my best friend.”

If he died without hearing those words again, he’d be a lucky man.

“...of course.”

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#ivar x reader #ivar/reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar the boneless/reader #Ivar the Boneless imagines #ivar ragnarsson x reader #vikings/reader #vikings x reader

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blitz-and-hearth · 6 years ago

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Some empty cups family trans headcanons because I’m feeling dysphoric after being called she all Thanksgiving and need that good shit right now (tw for talking about periods, dysphoria, and transphobia) And when I say empty cups, I mean all the empty cups so long post beware

Blitzen figured it out at a very young age, his father Bili had some nonbinary leanings (but didn’t know it was a thing when he was young) so he encouraged little Blitz to experiment with gender expression to his heart’s content

He was probably about 7 or 8 when he decided to start going by male pronouns

Blitzen is his birth name, dwarven names are usually pretty gender-neutral. He didn’t feel like he needed to change it

Thanks to both male and female dwarves growing beards he’s pretty comfortable in his own skin even after puberty. He does end up getting top surgery the very minute he can though. Has no plans for bottom surgery

BUTTON UP SHIRTS AND LAYERS ALL THE TIME

It's just a transmasc thing

And you know he’s always wearing suits and ties not just because they’re fashionable but make him very euphoric

Dwarven culture isn’t much better than humans when it comes to accepting trans folk, however, they do consider cosmetic surgery a craft, so their own rules mean they have to respect any and all transitioning surgeries

Mostly Blitzen just doesn’t talk about it much unless someone else brings it up. His father never made a big deal out of it so neither does he

Mostly situational dysphoria, when he’s around his mother or other people who knew him before he transition, other dwarves who can better tell the different subtleties of cis dwarf gender, and of course on the dreaded shark week

Humans and Midgard are both awesome because they see the beard and can’t tell the difference between “male” vs “female” facial hair like other dwarves do. Very easy to pass there

Hearthstone obviously was not in a safe place to explore his gender growing up

On top of all the other shit he had going on during his childhood he was constantly feeling wrong and uncomfortable in his own body

Lots of dissociation and frustration

Alderman wouldn’t let him cut his hair, forced him to wear dresses, and constantly said shit like “bE mOrE lAdYlIkE”

Hearthstone finally figures it out after accidentally stumbling across some websites while trying to research magic. It's just a post on a blog about some spell for good luck to help with transitioning but it’s how he learns being trans is like a real thing

It was both great to know there were other people like him but also like the worst possible news because he knows he could never ever come out and transition while living under his parent’s roof

He was only about 13 and lots of tears were had that night

The very next day he has his first period and just can not anymore

Full snap, cuts his hair short for the very first time, binds his chest grabs what little he owns and gets the hell out of there that day

Meets Blitzen like right after so needless to say he didn’t get much time to explore. He wasn’t about to come out to someone he just met, that shits scary what would he do if Blitzen didn’t accept him? He wouldn’t be strong enough to try world jumping for weeks and wouldn’t survive in Nidavellir without the sunbed

Blitzen had his suspicions but obviously understood why he’d be nervous about coming out, so he just kept his mouth shut about it until Hearthstone felt like talking about it

I’ve made a post about this before, but it happens on accident while Hearth is changing because a) he wasn’t allowed to lock doors growing up b) wouldn’t notice if you knocked to see if he’s in there anyway

What’s not reflected in the comic is Blitzen silently screaming because Hearth has been using ace bandages to bind does he know how dangerous that is???? But he didn’t say anything about it right then because this was a sensitive situation and he wanted to make sure Hearthstone knew he was in the same boat and nothing would change before starting to scold him

Hearthstone cried a lot

It's a big moment that builds their friendship and later romantic relationship and after that Hearthstone starts being a lot more honest about his past with Blitzen

Hearthstone isn’t his birth name, his dead name is probably something to do with flowers, super feminine and he hated it. He doesn’t have a real reason for choosing Hearthstone since it was a bit spur of the moment when Blitzen asked his name. Blitz later asked if he’s sure that's what he wants to go with and Hearthstone decides to stick with it

Part of the deal with Mimir was his parents forgetting that he was born female. It really was no question at all which choice he’d take

(Inge remembers but respects his pronouns because she’s a fucking decent person)

It’s the only reason Alderman didn’t constantly misgender and deadname him. Being in his old home and seeing his father still reminds him of how it used to be though

Hearth has more bad dysphoria days than good. Blitzen is always right there to tell him he looks handsome and very masculine today. Blitz doesn’t have as many bad dysphoria days but you bet your ass when he does Hearthstone will absolutely provide a constant flow of compliments until he starts to feel better

Hearthstone used runes to transition because if you’re trans you’ve totally daydreamed about how awesome and less scary it would be if magic was real. He offered Blitzen to do the same but Blitz had already had top surgery and doesn't really want bottom surgery so he turns it down

Magnus was also encouraged to try exploring his gender from a young age by his mother

I mean.... Just take a moment look at Magnus’ mom for a sec

Yeah that woman ain’t straight Magnus had a good childhood while she was around

I still think it took him a while though

Just because he didn’t really think about it much until puberty happened

He was just starting to think about his gender when his mother died

Later looking back it makes him really sad that he never got to tell her

Then he was homeless and a bit busy

He learned Blitzen and Hearth are both trans pretty quick though

I think this is even mentioned in canon that there's not a lot of privacy living on the street

Probably got an idea when he ran out of pads

Magnus: Fuck I’m out of pads and still got like three days left :/ Blitzen: *handing him some spare pads* Here I got you covered kid Magnus: ?????? Why? do you have these????

He’s a little slow on the uptake bless him

Eventually, he sees Blitz and Hearth’s chest scars and is like OH

He starts asking them both a lot of questions, still thinking its just innocent curiosity but Blitz and Hearth are sharing knowing looks the whole time

Sure enough like only a few days later he’s like “I think I wanna go by Magnus now”

His mother had mentioned to him that’s the name she’d have gone with if he’d been born male and he liked it enough to keep her wish

I wanna say his dead name starts with a B? I dunno why

Birthdays don’t mean much to Magnus while homeless but Blitzen and Hearthstone get him a binder for his 15th birthday, refuse to explain where they got it

(Blitz made it but Hearth was the one to steal the materials he needed)

Magnus obviously never had the option for medical transitioning while alive and homeless, but if given the choice he’d probably get on T but not have any surgeries

Jack is a sword who canonically picked his own name and it’s talked about there being female swords despite having no genital or way to tell, all living weapons choose their own gender he’s trans

Samirah can’t remember not knowing she was a girl

Like Alex she probably just knew from very early

Her grandparents are mentioned being a bit more forward-thinking so while they’re probably not happy per se they allow her to experiment anyway, thinking it a phase

It’s not a phase

Her grandparents mess up her pronouns often and don’t get it all, but its happened less and less the longer she’s been going by female pronouns

They eventually arrange her a properly planned marriage once they realize she’s not changing her mind about being a girl, much to her pleasure

Wearing her hijab and following other classic Muslim gender rules, like having a betrothed and not being alone with a boy, make her very euphoric and happy

She knew right away Magnus was trans too since she like... literally handled his soul when taking him to Valhalla

Seems like something a Valkyrie would be able to tell

Sam is very excited because this is the first time she’s met another trans person but doesn’t know how to bring it up

I’m picturing it happening after they meet Thor when she and Magnus are talking by the campfire

She just awkwardly blurts out “So uh gender huh?”

Magnus has no idea what she’s trying to say at first but once he does he’s very excited to talk trans with her

ftm and mtf solidarity bitch!!!!

Then Alex gets thrown into the mix

She doesn’t know about any of this

Eventually, Sam finds the time to talk to her about her gender, and naturally Alex is ecstatic. It's part of why he takes such joy in being Sam’s chaperone

This happens pretty soon after Alex arrives in Vallhalla

But Alex doesn’t find out the rest are trans too till much later

It just sort of slips out from Blitz, a mention of feeling a bit dysphoric that day and Alex is like “!?!!!!”

After hearing a bit more about Alex’s past Blitzen goes to Hearth and suggests he talk to her

They have a very good venting session about growing up trans with shitty shitty parents

Alex learns about Magnus last

It’s when he comes to Magnus’ room after celebrating and Magnus got covered in chocolate

Magnus has his shirt off and Alex sees his binder and is just like “!!!!!!”

Magnus is a bit flustered but doesn’t really mind being seen shirtless since its Alex and he already knows he’s trans too so he’s not about to get attacked or called a slur

Just like... Alex realizing his whole new little family is trans

Just the whole empty cups fam being trans and all having very different ways of experiencing and expressing it but supporting each other through it all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

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hollandsmushroom · 6 years ago

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Un hi I am so sorry for requesting this but I was wondering if you could do a smut of calum of 42,49,54. Like Calums a shy boy and him and the reader get into a fight and then something inside him clicks and then so ya know angry ass sex plzz😅

Reminder that this is a closed list and that I no longer write for this prompt list but requests are always open!

Okay, I am so so so sorry that this took me so damn long to write but there goes nothing, fam!!! Also, I am just going to make the reader and Calum already in a relationship because I feel like that makes more sense. Senior Year Cal!!!

“holy fuck”

“I didn’t know you could do that,”

“I didn’t know you had this side of you,”

Reblog Goal:15

You walked down the hall, your arms laden with books that you were ever so close to depositing in your locker and then stand and wait for your boyfriend, the thought of him brought butterflies to your stomach, the way that he laughed this hearty laugh, one that no one else in the school had heard aside from you because you were dating the shy boy, the one who doesn’t really have any friends, blends in, which is odd because he is six-foot with a god like build, but no one has ever really noticed Calum Hood, well nobody but you. The both of you had been dating for a year and a half and were so desperately in love with each other. You reached your locker and mindlessly dumped your books into it, grabbing only the ones that you needed to take home, and pushing them into your bag, and closing your locker. As soon as the metal mechanism clicks you turned your head and jumped back seeing a person staring intently at you.

“Hey Y/n,” the voice drew you out of your shock and to the person standing in front of you, Cooper McCoy, a certified fuck boy and just about the most annoying boy i the whole school, burdened with the assumption that every girl in the school wants to fuck him.

“Um, Hi?” you returned the greeting but it came out as more of a question then anything else.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime,” he cocky voice proceeded as your mind was stuck on the fact that Calum hadn’t come to get you yet.

“Cooper, you know I am dating Calum, right?” you let the words out like a laugh even though you were feeling increasingly uncomfortable, all due to the boy standing in your way.

“Oh right,” he said, “that doesn’t mean that we can’t go out,” he smirks, “Or at least, do other things,” your stomach turned in disgust at his words.

“I’m good,” you scoff, turning around to meet yet another person.

“Calum!” you exclaimed as you wrapped your arms around his waist and burrowed your face into his chest, you pulled your back once you realized that he wasn’t hugging you back, his face was dark and stoney.

“Cal?” you questioned but he didn’t respond, he simply grabbed your arm and started walking you out of the school and towards his car you in tow. “Cal, what the fuck is wrong?” but you got no response, he just walked you to the car and opened the door for you, even when he was angry or off, he still opened the door for you. You hopped in the car and sat there, waiting for some sort of explanation for his actions but you got no such thing just silence when he got into the car.

You reached his house without a single word exchanged between the two of you, you out of the car and into the empty house, instinctively going up to his room and plopping down on his bed. He followed quickly behind you, picking you up and dropping you onto the bed, pinning you down with your arms above and his lips on your neck. This was so very very unlike Calum, he was usually so gentle with you, but something was different today.

“You were flirting with him,” he mumbled against your flushed skin, this tongue working his way down your neck.

“No, no I wasn’t,” you moaned out, the pleasure of his plump lips agains your neck was undeniable.

“He was asking you out, you were letting him,”

“And I was saying that I was taken,”

“I don’t care, I didn’t like hearing the suggestion of another man fucking you,”

“Then lets get that thought out of your head,” you moaned, a smirk spread across his chubby cheeks and as he lifted your shirt above your head and pulled down the cups of your bra, releasing your breasts to the cold air, your nipples hardening at the exposure chill of his room. His lips brushed over the buds but did’t spend much time there, he just made his way farther down your body, tugging down your pants but leaving your panties on, crawling back up your body and reuniting your lips with his, his hands ghosting down your hips. His hands slipped into the front of your panties and spread your folds.

“You are already so wet for me, so so wet,” he groaned as he thrusted his fingers into you at a pace that made you knees weak as your back arch on reflex. His thumb was rubbing fast and harsh circles across your clit, intensifying every single feeling you were feeling all at once.

“Ho-holy FUCK,” you moaned loudly, the sound echoing across the walls along with the sound of Cals fingers in your heat. The force he was using to get you off and mark you was so great that it didn’t take very long for the heat in your stomach to burst and release ecstacy through your every limb. His finger disappeared from your core quickly after your orgasm, but they were quickly replaced with his hard cock, somehow maintaining the same pace that he had with his fingers.

You were still sensitive from your first orgasm and the rate of his thrust brought another one around very very quickly, and you could tell that he was on the verge as well, the veins in his neck popping out as he moaned into your neck. Your walls began to clench around him as he began to twitch deep inside of your pussy.

“Cal I’m-” you didn’t get to finish your sentence as your eyes clamped shut, your legs tightening around his waist as you had the most intense orgasm, the feeling of warmth and fire searing through your veins as you came, you felt Cal cum on you, his load dripping through your folds but it didn’t matter because you were on fire and it felt fantastic.

When you open your eyes and looked down you noticed that Cal’s abs had a glistening appearance to them and that he was wearing the smuggest look on his face.

“You squirted, I didn’t know that you could do that,”

“Yeah, and you got so jealous that we had angry sex, I didn’t know you had that side to you,” you quip back.

“You loved it,” he spoke with the same cockiness that Cooped had, the difference being that you loved the man in front of you.

“Yea, and I love you, no go clean yourself up,”

“I love you too, and I am gonna have to make you cum like that

more often cause that was hot as fuck,”

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krreader · 7 years ago

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chance encounter or fate?

pairing: im jaebum x reader ; min yoongi x reader (fwb) fandom: bts ; got7 warnings: language ; mentions of sex ; fwb relationship genre: angst ; fluff

summary: got7 was looking for a new producer. and if yoongi didn’t want to see your talent, jaebum would. and he found much more than a producer in you..

a/n: I understand babe. that man is.. PHEW. anyways, I hope you like it ♥

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

Yoongi pulled out of you with a moan, immediately pulling off the condom and throwing it into the trash, while you slowly stood up straight again, a little scared your legs might give in after that sex session.

“You were good,” he kissed your shoulder blade and helped you pull up your panties and jeans, “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Thank you for calling,” you laughed as you made your way over to the couch to relax for a second, “I needed that today.”

“Stressed?” he sat down on his chair opposite of you, so that you could talk for a bit. You might not be in a relationship, but you were still close.. in a sense.

“A little, yeah. My boss is being a bitch again, as always..”

“You should really quit if you're so unhappy, you know? Do something you love,” he turned around to his computer, “Like me,” then he smiled happily.

But that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

You've been fucking Yoongi casually for over a year now and continued to drop hints that you really liked producing music as well. And you weren't too bad at it, you knew that. It was just so hard to get into this industry, so you definitely needed to know the right people. And for god's sake, you were having sex with one of the best producers around right now.. if anyone could get you in, it was him.

But he either didn't want you to do the same thing he was doing, or really didn't understand your hints.

And you didn't want to be blunt either, because you didn't want to make it seem like you were using him and having sex with him, so that you could get benefits from it.

No, you were having sex with him because you really enjoyed it and he relieved a lot of tension. And quite frankly, Yoongi was the best guy you’ve ever slept with..

“Yeah, I guess I should,” you sighed heavily and got up, “I'll get going. Call me this weekend?”

“As always,” there was no goodbye kiss or whatsoever.

This relationship was purely sexual. You both knew that and you have never crossed that line.

People always said women couldn't have these kind of relationships without catching feelings, but honestly? This has been going on for more than a year and the only feelings you had for Yoongi were attraction in the sexual sense. You wanted him to fuck you, not to love you.

You weren't attracted to him in that way.

That's what made this so easy for you both.

The perfect agreement.

And yes, you'd obviously love to find someone who'd love you one day, but until then, you would enjoy your time with Yoongi to the fullest.

On your way out, you couldn't help but stop by at one of the empty studios.

You always checked the schedule on the door and made sure it would be empty for a while and so far, nobody had noticed that you had ever even been in there.

And since you didn't have equipment at home, this was all you had. All you could ever really use..

At the same time, Jaebum entered BigHit, clearly a little upset.

“I don't understand why we have to work with someone from BigHit. We have our own people for this..”

“True.. but we want your next song to be different. And when it comes to different, BigHit is the spot to look for good producers.”

He hated this, hated having to look for producers like those of JYP were shit. Or maybe he just hated having to come here to look for them.

Sure BTS was doing great and Jaebum was happy for them, but GOT7 was doing great too, right? They didn't really need BigHit..

“Wait here,” his manager said as he walked into an office.

So Jaebum did. He pulled out his phone and texted his band members, telling them just how much he hated this until he heard sounds coming out of a studio to his left that were the kind of different his manager had talked about before. They sounded new and fresh.. they sounded fantastic, to be honest.

Curiosity got the better of him and he pushed the door open just a tiny bit and was surprised to find only one person in the room.. and a pretty person at that.

He watched you play around with the buttons like you were destined to do so, watched you smile when something sounded good and watched you bop your head with the rhythm. And then he watched you stare right back into his eyes. That’s when his jaw dropped a little.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry,” why were you apologizing to him? He had been the one to intrude, hadn't he?

“It's fine,” he quickly said and shook his head, but you continued bowing as if you had just committed a crime.

“Please don't tell anyone I was in here.. I'm begging you.”

“I.. I won't,” he laughed, “I'm not from here.. I'm from JYP.”

You took a deep breath, releasing it a moment later, clearly being relieved. But why?

“Thank god.. you're not going to rat me out, then?”

“Why would I do that? And anyways, you're incredibly talented.. you should be in that studio and getting paid for it.”

“Wh..- What?” your eyes widened.

“Did nobody ever tell you that? You're amazing..”

No. Nobody ever told you that, mostly because nobody knew about your talent in music production. Nobody had ever cared enough to ask and if they had, they just shrugged it off, because how could you, not involved with any music company, have talent in that area?

“Thank you so much.. that.. you don't know how much that means to me,” you beamed from ear to ear, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“I'm Jaebum, by the way,” he extended his hand.

“Oh! Hold on.. I know you! GOT7, right?” shit. He did look familiar.

“You're ahead of me, I'm afraid,” he laughed, but you thankfully shook his hand a moment later. That would have been majorly awkward otherwise.

“I'm (Y/N). I'm uhm.. a friend of Min Yoongi.”

“Yoongi, huh? Didn't know he had a lot of friends.”

He didn’t. But you didn't want to say that.

And speaking of which, a moment later, Yoongi came out with another guy. A guy that turned out to be Jaebum’s producer.

“(Y/N)? What are you still doing here?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was just..-” oh god.. if he found out you were playing with the equipment, BigHit’s equipment, he'd definitely end this thing between you two. So you had to come up with a lie.. quickly. However..-

“I want her to be our producer,” Jaebum smiled at his manager, “She's not from BigHit, so we wouldn't have that connection to them. No offense, Yoongi.”

“None taken, but.. (Y/N) is no producer, though?”

“Yet,” Jaebum shrugged, turning his head to look at you “All she needs is a chance. And I'm willing to give it to her.”

That's more than anyone else ever had..

A knock on the door made you look up from your laptop, a happy smile on your face when you saw the man you owed all this to walk in.

“I thought you might want something to eat..”

“You're amazing.. thank you so much,” you gladly took the cup of Ramen and crossed your legs, immediately beginning to eat.

“How's it going?” Jaebum sat down next to you, looking at the screen of your laptop.

“Really good,” you quickly gulped down the food in your mouth, “I think you guys are going to like it.. It's new, it's different and it's hopefully going to bring you a few awards.”

“Know that if so, that's all your doing,” he smiled and leaned his elbow on the desk, simply watching you eat.

After you had shown JYP your talent, they had been quick to hire you, agreeing with JB that you were one of a kind and that they had to get you to work for them, before someone else would see your talent and snatch you away from them. That was almost two months ago, now.

Two months that Jaebum saw you almost every single day. Two months that he got to know you and two months that he had fallen for you.

Which was so easy, to be honest.

You were yourself around him, had never tried to be someone else and he loved that. He fell for your personality, the real you. He fell for your talent and your beauty.

But he knew that there was something going on between you and Yoongi, so he never told you about his feelings. But it just got harder and harder, day by day. All he wanted to do was at least try to ask you out and see if you said yes.

But that fear of rejection..

..we all know that.

“Do you have anything planned for this weekend?” you asked as you wiped your mouth.

“Don't think so.. why?”

“Someone from my family is having this party that I need to go to and I don't really want to go alone, so.. I was hoping you'd come with me.”

“To meet your family?” he raised his eyebrows, “Shouldn't you ask.. I don't know.. Yoongi to a party like that?”

“Yoongi?” you snorted, “No. I don't think my family wants to meet Yoongi. Besides, I only ever told them about you.. they wouldn't even know who Yoongi is,” and you doubted they would like that introduction: ‘Hi, fam, this is Yoongi, the guy that has been banging me for the past year’.

Yeah, no. That didn’t sound too good.

“You.. told your family about me?” his eyes widened, clearly surprised to hear that.

“Yeah.. the wanted to know who they had to thank for helping me get this job.. and now they kind of do want to thank you,” you scratched the back of your head, “I know it's weird and you probably don't want to, but..-”

“I do! I do want to!” he quickly said, but then cleared his throat right away and repeated it a bit calmer and an octave lower, “I mean. I'd love to meet your family.”

“Great.. I'll tell them later tonight.”

But what neither Jaebum nor you knew and only found out on the day you both arrived at the party, was that your entire family thought you were a couple. You didn't know if you had accidentally made it sound like you were, or if it was just the way you two were so comfortable around each other when you talked, but everyone told you how handsome he was and how lucky you were to have him by your side.

“Your family thinks we're dating,” he muttered under his breath when he showed up next to you at the buffet.

“I know.. did you.. tell them otherwise?” you looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“You?” he asked, almost a bit hesitantly.

“I asked you first.”

He let out a sigh and shook his head, “Didn't.”

“Me neither.”

This is it, Jaebum thought. Ask her out now, now is the perfect time.

“(Y/N).. when we get back.. do you think.. well.. you and me could.. I don't know.. get some.. you know coffee or something? Like.. as in.. uhm.. a date?”

He was so bad at this. You'd think he was better at it and just go all in, but nope. He was so awkward.. and yet so sweet and gentle that it made your heart flutter.

“You want to take me out?” you were genuinely surprised. Had you developed feelings for him? Absolutely. How could you not have after everything he had done for you. Did you think he would ever reciprocate these feelings? Not in the slightest, mainly because you thought he only ever was interested in what you brought to the company..

Seems as if you had been wrong all along.

“I mean.. only if you and Yoongi..-”

“Jaebum,” you grabbed his hand to stop him from talking any further, “I ended things with Yoongi a month ago.. when I realized I wanted to date someone else,” not that you ever thought you had a chance with Jaebum, but you suddenly felt really bad that when you were sleeping with Yoongi, you kept thinking about JB. That wasn’t fair to you, and definitely not to Yoongi.

..who had taken it surprisingly well and you still called each other up every now and then to just talk and see how the other one was doing. So that was nice.

“You ended things with him? Really?”

“Yeah.. even though.. I never thought you’d be interested in more than my talent.”

“I am interested in so much more,” he grinned and interlinked your fingers with his as you were still holding his hand, “So is that a yes, then? A date?”

You tried to keep yourself from smiling, but it was so hard not to, when he looked at you with so much happiness, “Yes.”

You always wanted to fall in love.. maybe you now finally could.. maybe he was the one.

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ilikeeverythingonmypizza · 6 years ago

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Aesthetic sides tag game

rules: bold all the aesthetics that you relate to

Thanks @mylifeinhopeworld for tagging me! ❤️❤️❤️

Side a - the city

glittering lights, yawning skyscrapers, broken glass shards, street gangs, hip hop music, late night strolls, blinking stars, sleek cars, flickering neon signs, glittery earrings, small tattoos, empty subways, dark eyeshadow, snapping cameras, cozy apartments, fried churros, silver necklaces, dyed hair, ripped jeans, bright lipstick, dazzling smiles

Side b - the book nerd

large glasses, steaming hot chocolate, thick books, lofi music, hot pastries, soft smiles, large sweaters, quiet libraries, small flowers, melting candles, sweetened coffee, messy hair buns, soft pillows, fairy lights, vanilla scents

Side c - the stereotypical girl

soft pinks, mini skirts, crop tops, romantic fantasies, love songs, strawberry milkshakes, lipgloss, high ponytails, candy hearts, nail polish, starbucks coffee, clear skies, hoop earrings, excited ramblings, stuttering heartbeats, rose bouquets, soft blushes

Side d - the stereotypical boy

arcade games, graphic t-shirts, baseball caps, chocolate milkshakes, messy rooms, acoustic guitars, chocolate chip cookies, multi-colored bruises, rap music, nightly escapades, stolen glances, pencil-drumming, chocolate milk boxes, low hums

Side e- the nature hippie

mini plants, cloud-watching, star gazing, damp forests, sandy beaches, ocean waves, wildflowers, hiking, iced lemon tea, gardening, hippie music, buttered toast, birds chirping, multi-colored leaves, evening sunlight, fruit cups, sundresses

Side f - the rebel

cherry lollipops, devil hand signs, grape flavored bubble gum, rock music, killer boots, dark make-up, horror movies, denim jackets, switchblades, handguns, stargazing on rooftops, glowing cigarettes, large headphones, skull rings, converse shoes, graffiti murals, glowing moonlight, rose thorns, fishnet stockings

Side g - the winter

busy cafes, oversized hoodies, drizzling rain, small snowflakes, marshmallows in hot chocolate, loose hair, sad music, reading a book, blanket forts, frozen lakes, crackling fireplaces, old movies

Side h -the summer

tank tops, lemonade, sunny days, dripping popsicles, short haircuts, tinted sunglasses, cotton candy, amusement parks, traveling, blasting music on the car radio, wagging dog tails, large sunflowers, snow cones

Side I - the spring

floral scents, peach tea, mint shampoo, tinkling laughter, video cassettes, colorful paintings, excited smiles, lollipop sticks, blooming flowers, melting snow, action movies, singing in the shower

Side J- the autumn

pumpkin lattes, warm bakeries, warm colors, hair braids, soft sweaters, colorful leaves, purring cats, dark chocolate bars, romance movies, soft music, zentangling, vintage cameras

Side k - honeybeedreams aesthetic

pale skin, jaw kisses & neck kisses, dark denim jackets, blurry polaroids, cold nights, gray skies, drunken confessions, daydreaming, hands desperately clinging to each other, bear hugs, intertwined fingers, hidden feelings, sleepy eyes, foggy windows, smoking with your lover, strong morning coffee, messy curls, deep lipstick shades, passionate kisses with a stranger

This was adorble! None of all care but I wanted to do it anyway lol. Side E fam, I love me a good flower to smell and admire

I’ll tag @softlous you don’t have to do it, I just love your blog and want to know more about you 💕💕💕

#mylifeinhopeworld #get to know me #im just here to reblog hot guys lol #t.xt #tag game

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lunaschild2016 · 7 years ago

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Worth Fighting For: Chapter 79 - Headstrong

A/N: I promise I didn’t mean to forget my Tumblr fam and post a chapter here yesterday. Life just got chaotic really fast for me when my four-year-old son decided he wanted to try and learn how to do laundry for himself. So, one day late here you go!

Disclaimer: This is still Roth’s cheese ball. I only own the celery sticks on the side.

He was ruthless, cunning and completely committed to protecting his city but her arrival to Dauntless called everything he ever thought he believed into question. Duty and following orders were no longer enough. They both found more than they ever thought possible. They both found something worth fighting for. Eric/OC AU M Tragedy/Romance (Smut, Fluff, Language, Angst, Tragedy) Slow Burn.

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@kenzieam @pathybo @jaihardy @every-jai @ericdauntless @beautifulramblingbrains @bookgirlthings @jojuarez26 @oddsnendsfanfics @offroadinjandals @singingpeople @iammarylastar @irasancti @captstefanbrandt @clublulu333 @fuckthatfeeling @tigpooh67 @ex-bookjunky @jughead-wuz-here wuz-here @badassbaker @beanzjellly @beltz2016 @meganbee15 @affabletimelady @scorpio2009 @gylisaa @geekybeyondallreason @violetsonthelam @kyloswarstars @emmysrandomthoughts @kgurew @beltzboys2015-blog @slytherin-princess-25273 @whatwouldbuffydo666 @jaiboomer11 @holamor @wealwayskeepfighting @original46

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Chapter 79 - Headstrong

Kat

“I don’t think we should get the twin beds like we mentioned the other night.” Tris breaks me out of my staring into space while sipping my coffee at our table in the dining hall.

Raze was missing this morning so we weren’t blessed with the amazing coffee. He still won’t tell me from where he gets it. Which is fine, for now, since we decided not to get a coffee maker for the apartment yet. We are holding off on getting any big purchases until we saw what our schedules were going to be like. No sense spending points on things we won’t be there to use. The beds had been one of the things we threw out as an idea so we didn’t have to sleep on the same bed, even if it is a big one.

I blink and let the coffee catch my mind up to her words. “Okay.” I shrug in agreement because it doesn’t really bother me to share a bed. It isn’t like I expect to have any guests or anything. “Not that I mind sharing, but why the change?”

She bites her lip and looks down into her own cup. “I was thinking, what if you and Eric do makeup and you decide to move in with him? Then having two beds wouldn’t make sense.”

I frown at this and think of how to answer. We hadn’t vocalized the possibility of not getting back with Four or Eric but we also hadn’t vocalized the possibility that we would. I had given both scenarios plenty of thought though.

“If we do talk and try to work things out,” I say slowly and look around to make sure we are still on our own right now. It is early enough that the place is fairly empty and Lynn went off somewhere to get a surprise or something for us. “I don’t know that I will want to just, jump in, to where we were before. I don’t know if I can, honestly. I feel like maybe all of this happened for a reason, that either we aren’t meant to be together or that it was to allow me to see something I was missing.”

She tilts her head as she frowns at me. “Like what?”

“All our lives, everything has been dictated to us. Dictated by our faction, our parents, or just circumstances. For so long, so much has felt like it is out of my control. That there was no place safe for me that was my own. Our parents’ home was just that, their home. I hadn’t really felt safe there in a very long time. That was ripped away from me. Eric’s apartment, it’s his apartment. I won’t say, even with how hurt I am by things, that I felt unsafe there because I didn’t. I did feel safe but it was because….it was his space and I knew he made me feel safe. I need to know that I can feel safe on my own. That I am capable of doing that for myself and not having to run to someone else for it. Having my own space, it gives me the ability and control to do that.” I finish softly but more confidently than I had started out.

It had started out as just a stream of thought. Things that had been floating around in my mind but I hadn’t put together cohesively. It seemed jumbled and like it didn’t make sense. Saying them out loud is showing me that it does make sense, at least to me. I can feel that this is something I needed but didn’t know I needed until just this moment.

Tris must feel the same way because she is nodding slowly. “I feel like I am just finding out who I am, you know? With all that…. uncertainty….” she says meaningfully to me and I nod that I understand, so she continues, “...I was clinging to the things that I was certain about. I thought I was certain about us and Four himself. When one was called into question I began to wonder but when the other fell apart…” She sighed and shrugged. “I want to be able to be me and not lose that to be able to be with him. I want to be able to be my own person and him accept me. I am like you in that, I also want to know that I can do this on my own, that I can be independent instead of needing someone to take care of me. I think that might be a lot of his issue. He has never seen me stand on my own. From the way we met until I got here and he was my instructor, his role in my life has been more of a protector. Maybe he needs to see that just as much as I need to do it.”

I nod and look at her but remain quiet while I can tell she is deep in thought. “So, what would you want to do, if you two were able to work things out?”

“Maybe the same thing. Not jump right in like we had been planning to at first. Maybe take the time to get to know each other as we are now, how I am now before we make such a big step.” Tris says firmly and I smile at her and nod.

“Okay then.” I sip my coffee and then swallow before smiling at her. “So, you don’t think we need to get those beds or do I need to put up with your stealing my half of the covers still?”

We start laughing as Lynn approached the table with a box in her hand a smile on her face. “What did I miss?”

“Nothing.” Tris and I say at the same time, still smiling.

“What do you have there?” I ask Lynn, reaching out for the box.

She slaps my hand away and scowls at me. “All in due time, young one.”

“This sensei thing has gone to her head,” I say with a raised eyebrow to my sister.

She looks grave and nods. “You know what they say, Lynn. Careful that the student doesn’t surpass the master.”

Lynn smirks and looks at her gleefully. “I sense a challenge, Tris. Are you challenging me?”

Tris hesitates but then nods. “I am.”

Lynn slams her hand on the table, startling the few people around and drawing their attention to us but my friend doesn’t care. I can tell. She is fired up. She stands and looks at Tris.

“To the dojo!” She shouts and then yanks the box from under my fingers and smirks at me before she takes off towards the training room.

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I didn’t expect there to be people in the training room, but there were. Many more people than should be in the Dauntless-born training room at this time of morning. Our friends, I understand. Lynn had messaged them before we even made out of the dining hall.

Raze and Chase is even in here and I am not sure why that is. They are looking at us as we warm up and are smirking, making me think they are up to something. I can’t focus on that. I need to keep calm because I know my friend is not going to go easy on Tris. I have to remember that Tris can do this. She is stronger than anyone truly gives her credit for. Then she even gives herself credit for.

I warm up with them as always. The plan is to get in some sparring of my own with Tris before she moves on to the actual real deal with Lynn. More people filter in, I see Zeke coming in looking resolved and serious as he goes over to speak to Raze and Chase. Lynn calls my name and tells me to focus so I have to look away and I can’t see what they might be talking about.

“Tris, Kat…. this is just another training session like any of the other days. This is planned. We need to be able to filter out the distractions.” Lynn orders us and I look to Tris.

She knows, like I do, that something is ringing in Lynn’s words. There is truth but she isn’t speaking all of it. She said this is planned, which is the truth, but something is telling me it isn’t any kind of normal training session. We continue on with our warm-up stretching and exercises. The flips and moves we have been perfecting over the last week require all the muscles in our body to be warmed up properly so that we don’t strain or tweak them when we push them to their limits by twisting and turning our bodies. Contorting them in ways that would seem impossible but that we have found are not only doable and but also very effective.

It is in the middle of this that I catch something out of the corner of my eye, someone walking into the room. It takes a second for it to register but when it does, a feral smile starts to spread across my face. I look to Lynn and catch her eye. She gives me a nod returns my same smile. I look over to my sister and see her face set in determination. She looks at me and nods.

The comment of this being planned makes sense now. All week Lauren has been putting out little comments about Tris and me. How we must have been fucking our way to the top all along. Trying to be slick about it by constantly bringing up how we were in Abnegation before now, so how could he have done so well. She even tried to use what happened to me with Marcus to put doubt in people’s mind. That had caused more than a few of my friends to want to take her on themselves. Tris and I put a stop to that by claiming that we had first go at her but that we weren’t going to lower ourselves to start something with her. It was what she was wanting.

I can see now that our friends had decided to help things along and set this up.

Lauren is sauntering over towards Raze and Chase. Looking at us disdainfully but I see something in her eyes. Uncertainty and fear. I think she knows her bluff has just been called.

Time to cash in her chips.

It started when I was sparring with Tris. I could hear Raze and Chase talking with Uriah and Zeke rather loudly, drawing the attention of Lauren who had been called down as the Dauntless-born trainer to answer questions about concerns that were being expressed regarding training. They were debating the training methods used for the Dauntless-born and its effectiveness. This was done on the premise that two transfers had ranked in the top two spots. Was there something that needed to be changed?

We continued on, though I know we were both half listening to what was being said and how this was playing out. After seeing Lauren walk in, something told me not to go into sparring with the moves we had been working on. Lynn was non-verbally communicating this as well. So, we continued and then broke when Raze shouted at us to stop.

“Would either of you care to help us settle a dispute?” He asks a question but just like Eric, it is a command.

“Sir?” I ask, breathing to keep my cool and not get too excited. Trying to act like I don’t know this has all been set up.

Chase gives a tiny smirk before he takes over. “There is a concern that I think is valid. Two transfers have ranked top; one of them with a perfect fight record. This isn’t the first time this has happened though and there are concerns that maybe the training methods of the Dauntless-born aren’t sufficient.”

“The training methods are fine.” Lauren snarls as she looks over at Chase then back in our direction. “Besides, what could these two possibly be able to offer that would help something that has worked for us for years before they even got here.”

“Obviously things haven’t been working very well if our own dependents are being outmatched by transfers. The only real way to solve this debate, though, is to put it to the test.” Raze said as if this was obvious.

“Fine. How do we do that?” Lauren asks, not even bothering to look at either Tris or me and focused on Raze and Chase.

Lynn bounces a little and then says in the most innocent sounding voice I have ever heard come from her. “Oh, I know.” I almost choke at how guileless she is sounding like the idea really did just come to her. The three of them turn towards her, waiting for her to continue. “It’s the training that is in doubt, right?” Chase gives a nod with his face free of emotion but I wonder if he wants to break out into laughter right now too. “Then why don’t the two trainers put their skills to the test? Both the Dauntless-born transfers are here, and we do have the two top-ranked initiates as well.” She shrugs and looks at us, a flash of worry passing over her eyes before it is gone and she continues. “Why don’t you guys pair off for a matched fight?”

Raze and Chase looks at each other in thought while Zeke speaks up beside them. “That isn’t a bad idea. We would want to set a few limits. Not the same as for sparring but not the intensity we require for ranked fights.”

They debate between themselves while my friends and I remain quiet. I see Lauren eyeing me, fighting herself on something. I am not completely sure what but I have a feeling. I just don’t know what I think about that feeling.

“Well, why not the same rules as ranked fights?” She finally gets out and I can tell she is having to force herself to say it. She is eyeing Tris while she does and the look in those eyes has my blood boiling. “We want to determine if they are all that better than me,” she stops and looks over at Chase and Raze then corrects herself quickly. “I mean, if the transfers are better than the Dauntless-born so we should go all out.”

I look away from her. If I keep looking at her I will lose it with how she is locked on to my sister and thinking she is going to be able to take her because she is the weaker of us. I know it’s because Tris didn’t have the fight record I had but it doesn’t make me feel any calmer. She is seeing the stats and not the fact that two of those fights weren’t even real fights. Either way, the move is a cowardly one. Thinking she can pick the supposed weaker one and then prove her own worth. Lynn would say it was a bitch move and I have to agree. I want to demand she face me. I want to take her on. I am vibrating with the need too in fact. I look to see Chase staring me down and he gives a slight shake of his head, knowing what I am thinking and why.

“While I can agree that we would want to have a good showing, I don’t think we need to go as far as a ranked matches rules. First to tap or until I call as good. That should work.” Raze proclaims and looks to all of us. “Sound good to you guys?”

Chase and Lauren nod, she agrees with them a little more eagerly than he does; probably relieved that she won’t have to fight until she can’t fight anymore while still looking good for making the suggestion, to begin with. Raze looks to Tris and I then asks if we are game.

“I’m in,” I say in response and Tris gives her own consent.

He smiles at us before he then looks to the two trainers. “Okay then. Who wants who?”

“I want the first ranked.” Lauren blurts out quickly. Her eyes darting between me and Tris.

I scowl at her but otherwise keep my mouth shut. This causes her to smile at me smugly.

“That’s fine with me,” Tris says and I am proud of her tone, bored-sounding but otherwise even.

I look at Chase and shrug casually. “I guess you’re stuck with me.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”

I tilt my head at his tone. It almost sounds like a flirting one. Not something he has ever used with me. Then I hear Lauren huff and look at her as it dawns on me what I think he was trying to do.

I smirk and respond to Chase but am looking at Lauren. “It’s not. You don’t hear me complaining.” I look back to him and smile widely and genuinely amused because it got the exact reaction from Lauren I was hoping for.

Chase winked at me but was stopped from saying anything else by Lauren snapping out at us. “You two finished?” She spits out then stops and looks at Tris before looking back at us. “I need to warm up so you can go first. I don’t see either match taking too long.” She shrugs and smiles. “I should be more than ready when you are done.”

Lynn had already started to pull me over to the area before she finished speaking. “Jesus, I fucking hate her.” She mutters when we are a good distance away.

“Hate doesn’t even begin to describe it.” I mutter back and busy myself in getting ready for my match with Chase.

Lynn helps me tape my hands and slip on the thin gloves that have barely there padding. A change from initiation is that after we became members they actually let us use gloves and other protective equipment.

I look out the side of my eye at the stretching form of Lauren and stifle a growl then focus on Lynn who is snapping her fingers in front of my face. Lauren did me a favor by volunteering my match to be first. I could get it over with then focus on Tris and her fight with Lauren. Lynn smirks at me and shakes her head.

“Good thing Lauren picked Tris. I don’t know that you would have left anything recognizable of her.”

I grin back at her and echo Chase’s words from earlier. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

She chuckles darkly and pushes me forward when Raze calls for us to start already. I breath in slowly as I am walking forward and let it out just as slowly as Chase stands in front of me.

His blue eyes are sparkling with a familiar glint in them but his expression is the same blank and hard mask he wears when he is carrying out his role as trainer. He is looking forward to this and I have that same feeling settling in me. A comfortable warmth spreading through me that leaves adrenaline burning along the way. My muscles seem to twitch and tremble with the anticipation as a grin crosses my face.

His lips twitch slightly but it halts quickly as soon as Raze gives the order to begin.

We circle each other at first. To others, the small movements made by feet or hands would look like warm up moves or taunts, but it is actually him talking to me. A system developed between the three men that was also taught to me during my time training with them.

In this he is telling me basically to hold off on the new moves we have been working on and go with things from prior sessions. It will still shut Lauren’s ass up because I will still have to work at this. He is also telling me he isn’t going to go easy on me.

Well, I wouldn’t want him to.

I realize that I need this kind of therapy, as Zach would call it. Something to work out the tangle of feelings inside of me. Maybe he knew or sensed this and wanted to also help with the other issue regarding Lauren. When she said she wanted Tris as her opponent relief had flashed in his eyes. Despite my wanting to tear Lauren apart, I am glad he is the one I am facing.

In a way, fighting against Chase has always been a better challenge for me than when I went against Eric. It wasn’t that one is better than the other. It’s just that by the time we were forced to stop our training sessions together it was noticeable there was something between Eric and me that made the fights less of a challenge. We had developed an awareness or a connection of sorts that made it easier for us to predict what each other would do. The last few sessions Eric had been working towards seeing if we could build on that in some way. Making us a team that could work together as extensions of the other person. With Chase there was still a familiarity but it was his style of fighting rather than himself that I was really familiar with.

There was also how Chase fought too that was a challenge. Eric was power and upper body. Chase didn’t focus on this alone and had good use of his lower body being able to go into moves that are familiar in Taekwondo and Capoeira.

He also preferred to allow the other person to lose patience and move first. When he did strike, it was hard and precise. Which was something similar to mine but I always seemed to lose patience before he would. Zach had said that watching the two of us fight against each other was like watching two cobras, twisting around each other in some kind of deadly dance.

We began to pick up the pace of our movements and not allowing as much time in between each of our strikes. I would strike and retreat then dodge when he would follow me. He would land a blow and pull back only for me to go full assault in frustration that I could see him hesitating. He was trying to goad and unsettle me, in that manner both he and Eric had of taunting me. Some of the taunts were vocal while the majority of them were looks or moves designed to do what he was doing right now. I knew he was trying to get me to lose focus and become angry.

I am not sure how long we were going at it for but I could tell the crowd around us was growing. I could hear cheering or yells for one or both of us as the intensity of our fighting picked up. It became clear to me that unless I used some of the moves we had been working so hard on the past week I wasn’t going to get a tap or knock out.

My mind raced furiously for what I could do and I watched Chase closely. The signs were small but there and I tried not to let too much of the excitement and hope show on my face. Chase was tiring, losing steam.

Would I be able to keep up the dance long enough for that to increase?

My doubt caused me to get in too close and the blows he landed had me gasping and regrouping. I couldn’t win in a full out assault on him. His skill and size wouldn’t let me. I would have to catch him with a move to throw him off balance but that wouldn’t happen until I could take some of that steam out of his sails. I needed to drag this out for as long as possible, get his energy down and hope to hell I had enough to take him down.

I firmed up my resolve, plan and then willed myself to last. It helped that I glanced out of the side of my eyes and saw Lauren hovering near the edge of the crowd with a sour look on her face. My eyes snap back to Chase as he advances, and the dance begins again.

‘To hell with circumstances, I create opportunities.’

Third Person

Four was not a happy man. Not that he was ever really an overly genial man, but over the last few weeks he had been happy more often than not. Tris was finally in Dauntless and despite all the things that were going wrong he had her by his side at least. How quickly that had changed, almost overnight, close to a week ago it had all crashed down.

It was his fault and that just made him feel even more miserable. His misery, that he had been content to stay at home and wallow in, was made worse when he had ventured out to visit his mother.

Jesus, had that been a mistake.

His mother had let loose on him. She never yelled but her cold and calm tone had been even more effective than shouted words could ever be. It shouldn’t surprise him that Kat would have gone to see Evelyn and Amar once she was free to leave the compound. Especially after everything about Marcus came to light he knew she would want to ease his mother’s mind and check on how she was doing with everything. Four hadn’t expected Kat to take her sister, but once again, he should have. He knew Kat was done with him keeping things from Tris. He also knew that his mother was just as over being kept from the woman that he claimed to love.

He had hurt all three of them so badly and was feeling like the biggest piece of shit. His mother forgave him after she vented her own hurt but she made it clear he needed to make things right with the sisters before they could all move on. Once he admitted his mistakes, his part in how everything had fallen apart, Evelyn had given him advice and perspective.

His mother was speaking softly as she gazed into the fire. There was an intensity that was flickering in her dark blue eyes; pain and memory. A look he knew well from when she was thinking of her past and Marcus.

“You once asked me why I stayed with Marcus or how I could have fallen in love with him to begin with. I wasn’t ready to tell you because I couldn’t bring myself to think of the past when I was trying so hard to focus on the future and being here for you now.” She sighed and looked at him with a sad smile. “I am sorry that I have been unable to speak on things until now.”

“It’s okay.” He said simply but had a chill of foreboding. He knew she was going to say something he wasn’t ready to hear. She reached out hesitantly, laying her hand gently on top of his. It trembled on top of his while his stilled under hers. It was the first contact the two have had since he found her again.

“I must admit my own mistakes, my failures, if we are to move forward. I am hoping that you can take this to heart and see that,” She stops and presses her hand down a little more firmly on his “To move forward sometimes we have to look back. We have to admit those failures and let them strengthen us, not hold us back. We have both been letting our pasts hold us back, Tobias. It not only hurts ourselves, but we are hurting the ones we love and not meaning to.”

Tobias swallowed and nodded but didn’t speak. Evelyn nodded and took a breath as she began to speak. Her hand still covering his but she looked back into the fire. She talked of meeting Marcus and falling in love with the charismatic man with drive and ambition. How this had drawn her to him, being from Erudite, and how he had started things by appealing to her intelligence; complimenting her and that. She had dreams of being by his side in helping to make the faction and city great. His manipulations and controlling were gradual but insidious. Starting out always on the premise that he only wanted what is best for his family. When he didn’t get his way or she questioned him, that was when the violence began. By the time she realized who and what he truly was, it was too late. Evelyn knew what being factionless was like and she couldn’t subject her son to that life but she refused to leave him behind either just to save herself. Then that had choice had been taken from her altogether.

“Are you saying I am becoming like him?” He asked with a soft voice full of hurt and his own fear.

Her eyes snapped to his but then softened when she saw his expression. “No. I am saying that you are so afraid that you will become like him that you let it dictate how you are now, but you also let it dictate how you think others should be. You wanted to protect Tris from yourself and the parts you think are like him, so you kept her in the dark. You wanted to protect her from being hurt but in doing so you make decisions on what she should or shouldn’t know. You think you are trying to guide her but what you are doing is telling her what she should or shouldn’t do. You thought Dauntless was going to be too dangerous for her so were set on keeping her from the faction you knew deep down she belonged to, thinking that Abnegation would be better. She might be miserable but at least she would be safe, right?” She smiled at him when he scowled but didn’t object. “You forget what drew you to her in the first place. Do you remember what you told me the day you came to visit? How you described her to me? You were in awe of how fearless she seemed to be and her strength of character. So, what changed for you that you went from trying to push that to make her stronger, to now keeping her away from anything and everything you think would be too dangerous for her or just something you think she shouldn’t be involved in?”

“I….I love her.” He said with a frown and didn’t understand how she wasn’t understanding that.

She nods knowingly. “So, you know what’s best for her?”

He let out a shaky breath and buried his face in his hands. “I just don’t want anything to happen to her. I can’t let anything happen to her.”

He felt her hand on his arm and then he squeezing. He looked up at her and into her eyes as she continued.

“You can’t protect her from life. Life itself is unpredictable and dangerous. Hiding away and never risking anything is not really living. But you can be by her side so that you have the best possible chance to protect each other in the hard times. It is okay to disagree and have a difference of opinion because you can learn from each other and compromise.” She took a breath and got a stern expression. “I will tell you this; you cannot just love the parts of a person that you find good or to your liking. It doesn’t work that way. I have heard about your argument that she was becoming too Dauntless.”

He looked away and frowned, ashamed at what he had said in the heat of the moment but his mother pressed on. “Kat and Tris are Dauntless, Tobias. You need to either accept her as she is and love her flaws and all, or let her go. You also need to decide if you can trust her. Not just with your feelings and things going on with you but trust her to be able to make her own decisions. If you can’t do that, then you need to let her go and move on. It will only make you both miserable to try and force things.”

That had been all she had to say on that subject but it had been enough that it had him holed up in his apartment when he wasn’t in control working the night shift, lost in thought. He tried not to look too much for Tris and Kat on the monitors. He tried to lose himself in the work of repairing systems that needed it, or cameras that seemed to always be malfunctioning. If he wasn’t working then he was working out in one of the small and barely used training rooms hidden close to the bowels of Dauntless.

There were times when he would break down and search the cameras until he could get a look at her, just to make sure she was okay. Every time he was able to find her was like a knife to his heart. Her smile and being among friends, looking so alive and happy, filled him with relief but also pain.

How could she look so happy while he was so miserable?

The longer he stuck to the shadows and kept to himself, the more it felt like she was slipping away from him. Instead of this spurring him into action, he sunk into depression.

On this day he was in the control room early. Changing his normal routine and having grabbed some food from the commissary, then he planned to pull a double at work. He stationed himself at one of the monitors removed from all the others. His back was to the room and the few people that were working the same shift as him so he didn’t see the person sneaking up on him until he felt the slap to the back of his head.

He cursed as it rocked him forward in his chair and whipped around to glare at the person to find Zeke standing there behind him with a scowl on his face and his hands on his hips.

“You look like shit, Four.”

“Thanks, Captain Obvious.” He snapped and turned back to the monitors. He was well aware how he looked. Dark circles under his eyes, nails mangled from chewing them, hands a bloody mess from the constant abuse against punching bags, scraggly growth of a beard forming on his face. He has been living on coffee and cereal at his apartment because he didn’t want to chance going to the dining hall and running into Tris, Kat…. or just anyone really. Which is why he had ventured out earlier than normal after exhausting all the cereal and coffee in his apartment.

At least I’m still showering.

He frowned and his hands paused over the keyboard because he didn’t remember taking one that day. Zeke slid into the seat beside him and Four tried not to be obvious in sniffing himself. The tang of sweat and grime was obvious but it wasn’t too bad.

Okay, so maybe my last shower was a day or two ago.

“What’s going on with you, Four?” Zeke asks him lowly enough that he can hear him clearly but no one at the back of the room could.

Four shrugs and focuses on the screen. “Just working and letting Tris decide when she wants to be done being mad.” He replies but even he can hear how weak the excuse is in it. He knows by his friends snort that Zeke isn’t falling for it either.

“Look, I have been trying to stay out of all this mess with you and Kat; now you and Tris. I haven’t wanted to choose sides but try and be there for all of you. It is bad enough I see you hurting over it man, but those two girls are going through hell. I can’t watch it anymore and to be honest neither can Shauna. My girl is spitting mad and about to take you and Coulter on; no fucks given. I can’t say I blame her, in fact I would be right there beside her. Her sister already called dibs though, so I am just saying, you know how those two can get when they get really pissed.”

Four looks over to him and sees not one glint of joking in his eyes. A shiver of real fear runs down his spine at the thought of either Shauna or Lynn coming after him with real intent. The Shauna from his initiation year was completely different than the woman now. Over eight years of working in the clinic had taught his friend a thing or two and he had heard and seen her methods to subdue some of the belligerent drunks that got brought in. Not to mention she had more years of one on one training by Zeke after an incident in the clinic had left her hurt. Lynn had been scary even when he had just been made a member and met the girl that is four years younger than him. He was pretty sure that has only gotten worse over the years.

Four realizes he has been quiet for a while when Zeke rolls his eyes and leans forward. “I’m going to show you something. Something I will tell you now I agreed with and helped to arrange because not only did I know those two could handle it, but that the faction needed to see as well.”

He doesn’t wait for Four to say anything but instead he reaches in to take over the computer from him then calls up a file, types in a code to access it and puts it on the big screen as well as the monitor in front of them. Four looks at him in question but Zeke just shrugs and grins.

“It isn’t exactly a secret and most everyone in here has already seen it.”

What was it exactly? It was the Dauntless-born training room and a recording marked for that morning at 0913. It is a few screens showing the room and the action from a few angles. It starts with what looks like a normal training session for the girls; Kat, Tris and Lynn. One that Four has logged in to a few times over the past week just to check on them. They are usually alone or a few of their other friends are there but the one from this morning seems to be crowded with people. Chase, Raze, Zeke and Lauren are there and seem to be in discussion. There is no sound to it but the end result looks to be a pairing off between the trainers Chase and Lauren with Kat and Tris.

Four shoots a look to Zeke and is about to launch into an angry rant but Zeke’s face is hard as he shakes his head and points to the screen. For the next hour, Four watches as Kat goes against Chase in a full-fledged fight. It is by far the longest he has ever witnessed, especially considering one of the fighters is a recent graduate.

Four is grinding his teeth hard and the little bit of nail he has left is digging into the flesh of his hand while he watches the intense fight between the towering Dauntless man and his childhood best friend. At first, he is worried and pissed as hell. Mentally yelling at everyone there that is allowing this to happen. He is cursing every single person that is cheering wildly.

In the beginning when he was watching the crowd all he saw was everything he hates in Dauntless. How cutthroat and blood thirsty everyone is. Then he is really watching the fight; watching Kat and Chase as they are fighting but more specifically how they are fighting. During this the cheering from the crowd increases when one or both of them perform a move that shows a lot of skill. It also increases when it looks like Kat has gotten an upper-hand against the larger Dauntless man. To his skilled eye he can see that the fight is being well thought out by each person. He doesn’t see a way that Kat can take him down and it looks like the fight is one that is going until someone is subdued and taps out rather than the bloodbath he expected.

Zeke confirms this when Four starts to actually discuss the fight with him rather than just cursing and throwing accusations his way for allowing it to happen. To his friend’s amusement and pleasure that he didn’t even bother trying to hide, Four started to actually enjoy watching the fight and how his childhood friend was holding her own. It was like watching every promise she had made about what she was going to do, what she wanted to do, come true. All those promises they had made to themselves and to each other, whispered in their secret hiding place away from the eyes of their faction and his father. He was watching them come to life right in front of him but had been in denial about it because of his own prejudice and anger.

“Who wins?” He asks quietly as his eyes are glued to the screen because he honestly cannot guess at this point. Chase looks to be tiring out but Kat isn’t that much better.

He looks over to his friend who smiles and shakes his head. “Keep watching.”

They keep going for a few more minutes but after a move by Chase that took Kat to the mat, she seemed barely able to roll out of the way and then pull herself back up. She looked slow and she was favoring one side. Four knew Chase saw it too and he advanced on her fast. Throwing the last bit of energy he had for the take down move. It looked like Kat was too hurt and dazed to notice until she shifts away just enough that Chase misses her. It was fast how she moved there at the end but she also locked onto him and used his own momentum to swing herself around Chase’s body to get behind him.

Four lets out an amused huff of disbelief when he watches her practically climb him from the back then twisted her body so that her limbs were putting him in a sleeper hold that he was not able to break out of. She was using her whole body to wrap around him and take him down, almost like a boa constrictor. Chase went to his knees, still trying to get her off. Then he went to his hands and knees, but still Kat was locked on. Four could see her mouth moving and he could just imagine her telling him to tap out. A look of frustration crossed Kat’s face and she was breathing hard as she strained to subdue the large man.

“She was just as tired as Chase was at this point and we weren’t sure if she was going to be able to keep the hold on him to get him out.” Zeke said in explanation of what they were both seeing.

It didn’t take much longer. They both fought the ending. Kat fighting to keep her grip on him and Chase fighting to not pass out. There was cheering and Lynn was on her hands and knees slapping the ring floor. Tris was screaming something to her sister, her body looking like she was ready to jump in there and fight alongside Kat. Four guessed they was encouraging Kat to keep going. Others around them had to be doing the same thing for Chase as well.

He saw that it started to cause Kat pain to keep her body contorted the way it was and just as Chase started to go under she opened her mouth and let out a scream then released her hold. Chase and Kat collapsed to the ground. They lay there both trying to recover, with Kat still on Chase but now it just looked like she was draped over him, barely breathing.

“Raze called it a draw.” Zeke said with a chuckle. “Chase tried to object that he was already under before she released the hold. Kat argued that he was full of shit and he hadn’t fully gone down and tapped hadn’t tapped so he won. It took us watching and re-watching this from all the angles to come up with the determination but honestly I think she had him down.”

Four nods in agreement then shakes his head, laughing along with his friend at the way Kat took Chase down but also his description of the two of them arguing for the other being the winner. The next fight has to be fast-forwarded to get past the debating and general chaos the training room descended into after Raze called the fight.

Zeke stopped the recording at Tris, Lynn and Kat all over to the side of the mat where they were talking. Four watched as Lauren sauntered into the middle of the ring and stood there with a sour look on her face and tapping her foot in impatience. He didn’t need to hear the words she called out to know they were rude or insulting.

He could read her intent on the trainer’s face but also the reaction from the girls. It started with Lynn who just shook her head at the stupidity then went to Kat and Tris who looked at each other and the most wicked looking smiles crossed both of their faces. He couldn’t stop the shiver that caused him and the smile wasn’t even directed at him.

“Yeah, imagine being in the room and seeing that shit.” Zeke said beside him and did a whole-body shudder.

Tris gave a firm nod to her sister and friend then calmly walked to the center of the ring and joined Lauren. He knew from her posture something was different with her. Then when Lauren took up her defensive stance, Tris instead bent forward slightly in a small bow then straightened up.

Raze lifted his arm and gave both the verbal and nonverbal signal to start.

Lauren went full out right from the start and Tris was moving defensively. It was the way that she was moving away that had Four absolutely riveted to the screen. It looked effortless and almost lazy, making Lauren’s attempts to land a blow look clumsy and slow. This effect was increased by the fact that Tris seemed to have her hands lightly clasped behind her back. It wasn’t quite the Abnegation manner of doing it, not as stiff or submissive. She was taunting Lauren without ever saying a word.

This caused Lauren to start losing her shit rather quickly. The trainer started to get more aggressive but was also sloppy. Tris had still yet to actually strike out at her but there was a moment when Lauren had stumbled back from her latest blocked punch that Tris had sent her spinning away from her. She left herself wide open and Tris struck faster than his eyes could track.

She was a whirling, spinning blur. He couldn’t even begin to describe the move except for it was like something he had seen when he was still in school and had stayed behind to watch some gymnastics while avoiding going home.

It took Zeke and him both slowing the recording down to a crawl so that he could analyze it. The result had been Lauren knocked out hard. One second she was trying to stand up straight and regroup for another attack. The next, she was going down in a crumpled heap to the ground after first Tris’ foot connected with her face then followed it with her elbow after she righted herself from the spin kick she had gone into. The first hit would have been enough but Tris was already in the process of following through and wouldn’t have been able to stop it anyways.

Four sat processing this for a moment before he spoke to Zeke, who was waiting quietly. He was feeling many things but there was one that was far greater than the others, he just had to sort through the other crap to realize it.

First, seeing how lethal Tris moved and handled Lauren had his stomach turning. His initial reaction was disappointment but that stopped when he sat considering why he felt that way. It was all his own issues with himself that were and have been coloring how he thinks others should behave. Especially those he holds so close to his heart.

Knowing that, he also could admit that Tris could have done much worse to Lauren but she didn’t. Even when she finally got a hit she could have continued on. She didn’t. She stepped back, still ready should Lauren be able to get up, but she gave the older girl the time to get up. Everything she had done in the fight had been done for a reason and Four knew it wasn’t done with any real malice. Irritation and dislike for Lauren, yes, but not the kind of hate he associated any acts of violence with thanks to his father.

“Do you see it?” Zeke asked him finally after he leaned forward and closed out the file with the fight, making the screens go back to normal.

Four looked to him and sighed with a nod. “That I’m a complete and utter idiot. Yeah, I see it.”

“Then, maybe you need to tell her that. Soon.” Zeke said with a command ringing in his voice. He rose, clapped Four on the shoulder then left the room.

He stared at the screen of him for a few more minutes, gathering the courage and making a plan. He casually, as casually as he could, called up the places he knew they would likely be at and couldn’t find them at any of those. The only other place he could think of would be the apartment Kat took with Lynn. He grumbled as he made his way out of the control room, thinking that a stroll through his fear landscape sounded better than to have to walk into that lion’s den.

Maybe he would get lucky and would have something else to distract them so he could get Tris alone first. He snorts when something comes to his mind but in Amar’s voice.

‘You sure do get lots of exercise by pushing that luck, son.’

Guess he was about to find out just how far he could push it.

#divergent #divergent au #divergent fanfiction #eric coulter fanfiction #drama #romance #angst #tragedy #smut #fluff #eric coulter #oc #eric x oc #jai courtney #chloe moretz #michael jai white #liam hemsworth #theo james

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thestudyfeels · 8 years ago

Photo

are you familiar with the feeling of oh-my-holy-moly-my-life-is-a-complete-mess? me too fam. but now, it's time for change. It's time to get our shit together and here are some tips to get started.

note : this is just a beginning guide; which only includes 1/100 of the tips to get you life together. I’ll probably make a part two if this is helpful?

1. do not procrastinate.

sounds crazy? but honestly, just don't. procrastination leads to stress and anxiety and helps you lose your shit.

but, how do we not procrastinate?

‌get things done early. remember that sheet of paper your professor gave around in class having the list of all the assignments to be done that semester? yes, do that work months before if you have time.

do your homework the day it's given. (no watching tv before you do)

‌study in the time you're actually studying. don't go on your phone half the time. If you're doing that, you may as well put your books away.

‌other resources -

the procrastination masterpost by @studious-simplicity

how to stop procrastinating by @determinationandcaffeine

how to stay productive by @julstudies

productivity masterpost by @ib-studyblr

2. become the master of “fake productivity”

fake productivity is basically when you do mechanical work (i.e. stuff which doesn't require much brainpower) to get into the real “productivity” zone. it helps you brain prepare for the big task ahead. here are some things to do -

make your bed

do the dishes/laundry

clean your room (i know it’s messy yo)

get your closet together

empty your inbox (be it gmail or tumblr)

do a smol workout?

make a to-do list/ organize you calendar

do a easiest or the most enjoyable task off your to-do list

3. plan, plan and plan

your planner/bullet journal should be your best friend. plan those essays you got to write, that research paper you have to do, down to the time you need to go out for dinner with friends. Plan. Every. Single. Thing. I. Really. Mean. It.

+ and follow up with those plans!! you have already wasted a lot of time on planning, you hAVE to follow up with that planning, right?

4. wake up early

why? waking up early gives you the time to do things slowly and carefully so that you get it perfect in one go and your life isn't a complete disastrous mess.

how to wake up early? i got you.

how to wake up early by @theyrestudying

how to get up early and enjoy your day by @coffeesthetics

the morning “me” routine by @fightostudy

5. have a healthy lifestyle

an example -

x wakes up at 7 am every morning, goes for a short run to wake herself up and comes back to have hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, slices of bread and a mug of steaming hot tea. she starts on her work after that, doing it without stressing about it. Then, after a nice hot bath and a delicious lunch, she goes out to a cafe to work on her online classes and to hang out with her friends. coming back home, she does a quick workout, takes a shower and heads off to make dinner. Having an early dinner, she spends the remaining few hours relaxing, drafting blog posts and spending time with her dog. at 10 pm everyday, she heads off to her bed, looking forward to a glorious tomorrow.

..sounds like a fairy-tale, right? you can definitely live it though.

In general, your day should have the following stuff -

‌sufficient hours of work using which you can get all your work done

‌a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner (yep, no skipping meals)

‌a workout, generally of 15 - 30 minutes at the least

‌interaction with people, like hanging out with friends or family

‌sufficient sleep and resting time (preferably 8 hours of sleep)

‌a fixed routine consisting of you waking and sleeping at fixed time

‌a 'me' time at some point of the day where you don't worry about work or anything and focus on relaxing after a long day.

6. believing that coffee sucks

why? its basically a drug and if you need three cups of it just to get started on work, you're going to have a really hard time during finals.

Instead, get enough sleep so that you have enough energy to study without being a coffee addict. or you can even swap coffee for water. (hey, you’ll be more hydrated!) side note - a cup of coffee per day is okay though. I love coffee too and I totally feel you but don't overdose on it, okay love?

some extra things to know about -

‌have a companion to keep you accountable at the start.

‌do have a laid-back day once in a while, you're human after all.

balance work and play. reward yourself for shit done.

keep track of your spending, earnings, investments, etc.

stop being a perfectionist. seriously, you dont need to rewrite all those notes, trust me (comes from a was-a-perfectionist-kind-of-still-am-but-trying-not-to-be perfectionist)

‌don't stress yourself out. getting your shit together is a journey and not a result.

remember, change will come. yes, it will; but only if you take action. start now.

also, on a side note - and this might seem very ironic, but sometimes you don't have to have your shit together. life is always a mess and trust me when I say this, no one - yes no one - has their shit together and sometimes it's worth it to lead a messy life and enjoy it without having any fixed rules and regulations like you would have if you wanted that perfect life. enjoy the life you lead and stay wonderful, loves!

- ̗̀ the adulting 101 series ̖́-

part one : kicking a rut

go check out my other masterposts here and you can always send in a request for a masterpost as my ask box is always open!!

much love, Taylor (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

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queen-of-deans-booty · 8 years ago

Text

Photo Booth

Characters: Jared x Reader, Jensen, Misha

Word Count: 678

Warnings: Fluffy Jared feels

Summary: You spend your time at a Supernatural Convention with your husband, Jared, doing the one thing you love the most.

Author’s Note: This is my first Jared fic! I hope you like it! Don’t be shy and let me know what you think! If you want to be a Queen, let me know and I’ll add you to the lists! So sorry this is out so late, I hope whoever requested it, that you like it!

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

You didn’t always get to go to conventions with your husband, Jared. You didn’t always get to sit backstage, watching him, Jensen, and Misha joke around and have a good time. You didn’t always get to interact with the fans since you used to be on the show until they killed you off.

However, you and Jared stayed in touch, eventually dated until he asked you to marry him. You couldn’t have been happier because once you stepped foot on set, you were welcomed into their strange but lovable family.

And you wouldn’t change a thing.

But this time, you were at the convention with Jared, excited to have finally gotten off work to do this. You lived in Texas with Jensen’s wife and kids, always eager to help out with JJ and the twins because you didn’t have any children of your own yet.

“Jared! You were amazing!” You smiled at your husband who walked off the stage. He smiled and brought you into his arms before leaning down and kissing you tenderly. You kissed his back and held his hands, glad to be with him for the weekend while the convention kicked off.

“Hey, none of that back here.” Jensen said, pulling you away from Jared and bringing you in a hug. You giggled and hugged him back, your eyes landing on Misha.

“Misha!!” You exclaimed, rushing out of Jensen’s arms and into Misha who laughed and hugged you.

“I think she likes Misha more than you.” Jensen said, slapping his friend’s chest. You pulled away from Misha and playfully glared at Jensen who smirked.

“Yeah, I like Misha more than my own husband.” You joked, walking to Jared and taking his hand.

“Hey, just saying.” Jensen said with a laugh.

“Hey, are you free right now?” You asked Jared.

“Yeah, we don’t have to do another panel for another 30 minutes. It’s Rob singing with a few other people. Why?” He asked with a smile.

“Just follow me.” You led him out of the backstage area with Jensen and Misha wolf whistling after the two of you.

“Are we going to have sex?” He asked.

“No, Jared but I won’t be opposed to that idea later on. No, I found a photo booth.” You grinned widely and pulled him to an almost empty hall. The people in the hallway were all staff members so you didn’t have to really worry about fans right now.

“A photo booth? Babe, you know we have perfectly good cameras that can take better and bigger pictures.” He chuckled, squeezing his large frame in the small space. You followed him inside and grinned and when you two got comfortable.

“I know but these are fun to do. Come on.” You put in the money and smiled, picking the first option. Jared smiled and he picked the next one, looking at you when you got everything ready.

“What do you want to do?”

“Smile for the first one.” You said, turning to the camera as it counted down. You and Jared smile for the picture and once the camera shutter clicked, you relaxed and wondered what to do for the next pose.

You saw the clock counting down and you panicked, grabbing Jared’s cheeks, turning his head to you, and pushing them together as you scrunched your face up. The shutter clicked and you laughed, leaning on his body. You felt him laugh and before you knew it, you heard the shutter of the camera click again.

“What do we do now?” You asked. Jared cupped your cheeks in his hands and he pressed his lips to you, kissing you passionately for the camera. You could never get enough of this man, no matter how many times you kissed those lips.

His hiatus beard tickled your face but you couldn’t seem to care when his lips were taking good care of you. The last shutter of the camera clicked but you never heard it. You just loved photo booths, you loved him, and you couldn’t wait to see the printed pictures.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @innernightwerewolf @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4 @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom

The Sam Fam:

@elma-shay @xxno-wayxx @saxxxology

@thing-you-do-with-that-thing

#Jared Padalecki #Jared x Reader #Jared Padalecki fluff #jared padalecki drabble #jared padalecki fanfiction #jared #padalecki #jensen #jensen ackles #ackles #misha #Misha Collins #collins #supernatural conventions

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spideyxchelle · 8 years ago

Text

so a lot of people have been poking me about a friends with benefits type thing and I GOT CARRIED AWAY. are we surprised? no. we’re not. because this is the content y’all request for my blog, lbr.

in case that wasn’t clear this is exceptionally explicit. you have been warned. and should probs not read this if you’re not.....you know, I WON’T SAY ANY MORE. just be warned. it’s got some explicit content, fam.

also this hasn’t been edited. who are we kidding??? dis me.

MJ and Peter accidentally start having sex. Accidentally in the way that they’re both seventeen and reasonably attractive and Game of Thrones is endlessly frustrating. To be honest, looking back on it, MJ is ninety percent certain Game of Thrones is to blame.

In the season finale of Game of Thrones, the show makes it seem like Jon and Dany can’t help themselves, that sex is an inevitability and even if they didn’t want to fall into bed together it was going to happen. But, from her experience, that is not the way sex works and Peter watches Game of Thrones with her so he’s subjected to her rant.

“I’m just saying,” she seethes, “you know, incest aside, they had a choice on whether or not to have sex. The fact that the show is making it seem like it’s fate or some shit is dumb.”

Peter chuckles and makes her tea in her empty kitchen, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jon definitely tripped and fell into her vagina. Total accident.”

MJ laughs in the way that only Peter ever hears, it’s a quiet, joyful sound, “My bad. I forgot that happened.”

“Yea,” he grins and tosses the tea bag, crossing to her and handing off the tea, “Did we even watch the same finale?”

She rolls her eyes, “Seriously, though, sex is a choice. It’s important to me that television is aware of that.”

Peter smiles, and his smile occasionally makes her stomach ruffle, now is one of those times, “Guys and girls can have strong military alliances without sex being on the table.”

“Exactly,” she grins, reaching for the bag of discarded chips on her coffee table, “God, I miss sex.”

Peter’s jaw flexes in the way that it sometimes does whenever she mentions Mark. She knows he’s not a prude, he had way too much sex with Gwen Stacey the summer before to be considered a prude but he always looks displeased whenever she mentions her sex life. Or lack thereof in the last three months. Liz’s younger brother had broken things off when he went away to college and with his disappearance her sex life disappeared as well.

“Yea, well,” he gruffed, stealing her cup of water and drinking it.

“Three months is too long,” she rolls her neck, working out the kink in it. Mid-neck roll is when she has the idea. And frankly, it’s not her best idea but it’s also not her worst. “We should have sex.”

Peter chokes on his water and manages to dribble some on his lap. She watches him, unimpressed at his fumbling display, but once he recovers he doesn’t give her the answer she wants, “MJ, what the hell?”

“What?” She shrugs, crunching on a stale chip, “It’s not incest. We’re already way better than Game of Thrones.”

He smiles, in spite of himself, and shoots back, “That we know of. Still could be incest. If Game of Thrones taught us anything its that everything is incest.”

MJ tosses her leg over Peter’s waist and retorts, “I’m willing to risk it.” His eyes widen slightly before she closes her mouth over his and she knows, realistically, that she probably should have gotten his express consent before mushing her mouth against his but he was sitting there moderately attractive and sputtering over water and, frankly, that level of cigs is asking to be kissed.

She feels his hands flex against her waist, like his restraint is costing him something, and then whatever war he’s having with himself folds in and he’s gripping the skin under her shirt at her waist. He’s a little rougher than she would have thought but it’s stable and firm and she’s into it.

When they break apart, unwillingly, MJ whispers, “See, that was a choice. It wasn’t inevitable or fate or anything. I decided.”

“Yes,” Peter roughs out, briefly biting at her bottom lip, “Game of Thrones is terrible and sex is a consensual decision between two people, not an inevitability.”

She wiggles her bottom over his waist and feels the familiar poking of a penis. It’s not until that moment she really remembers how much she liked sex, and she’s struck by a new thought that sex with Peter might be good. Hell, it might be better than sex with Mark. “Good answer,” she quips and yanks her shirt off. He stares at her bare chest dumbly and she tilts his head up to look in her eyes, “Up here idiot.” His eyes snap to hers. “This doesn’t mean anything.” And even as she says it, she sort of knows it’s a lie but sex is a decision. She won’t give Game of Thrones the satisfaction of being right about how some people and sex are just are inevitability.

She sees Peter’s brain working, can almost see the smoke leaving his ears from how much he is overthinking all of this, and while its semi-endearing she needs his full attention. She tugs his mouth up to hers and once they start kissing they can’t seem to stop. Not because its an inevitability, like that stupid episode preached, but because its fun. MJ could totally stop if she wanted to, she reasons.

She could totally stop after Peter flips them over on her couch and crowds his body over hers. She could totally stop once Peter strips off his shirt and all of his muscles, of which there are many, are on display for her to touch and kiss. She could totally stop as soon as Peter rids her of her pants and burrows his face between her legs, kissing and sucking at juncture of her thighs. Even then, once the world is fuzzy from his attention, she figures she could stop.

And then, her vision goes white and her back arches off her parent’s ratty, red couch as Peter brings her to a finish. It makes her toes curls and her head snap back. It’s the kind of orgasm she never would have expected from Peter Parker. He’s rougher around the edges than she would have imagined, more experienced.

She recovers and pulls him up for a kiss, the taste of her on his tongue. “You’re good at that,” she manages between kisses.

“I’ve had a bit of practice,” he grins into her mouth, brushing her hair back off her face. Her hands slips down between their bodies and flicks open the button of his jeans. His eyes darken with something of a warning, “MJ, come on. This is a bad idea.”

She unzips his pants, “Do you not want to?”

He shakes his head, “I didn’t say that. I said its a bad idea.”

“We can,” she draws him into a long, lingering kiss that has him groaning and her insides flipping out, “totally do this. I trust you. You trust me. We’re friends. Friends can have sex.”

Peter counters, “Friends shouldn’t have sex.”

“I know you keep a condom in your wallet, Parker. Your choice. I’m totally down. If you want to...grab the condom.”

And Peter’s face screws up, like he’s more conflicted over this than anything in his entire life. Which is ridiculous because he’s a superhero and she knows he makes life and death situations practically ever week. Safe, consensual sex between two friends should be a no-brainer compared; yet, he looks less-than-sure.

Still, he climbs off of her, shucks off his jeans, grabs the condom from his wallet and drapes back over her once he’s settled.

When he pushes into her, MJ crows in delight. In reality, its not been so long since she’s had sex but its been a while since she’s had good sex and everything with Peter so far has not been a disappointment. She wants to close her eyes, lean her head back and enjoy the ebb and flow of their bodies moving together, but Peter wants to kiss her.

As soon as he’s set a pace between them, his mouth is on hers. He’s not demanding, its not a fierce kiss but it is passionate. There’s something hidden in that kiss but he’s stretching her out in a way that makes her brain function to slowly to piece it apart.

MJ grips the back of his neck and his kiss and thrusts move faster, chasing some kind of release. When it comes, for him, he doesn’t take her over the edge with him, but she doesn’t mind. He’s already gotten her off and she figures this won’t be his last time to get it right.

Sex with Peter Parker is good and MJ plans to have a lot of it.

Once he’s caught his breath, he rolls off of her and stares up at the ceiling. She turns her head and grins at him. He glances at her and smiles back. “What’s that face?” he asks.

“You’re good at that,” she says honestly.

He barks out a laugh, “Thanks, I think?”

“No seriously,” she says, tucking some of his floppy hair behind his ear, “We should do that more.”

He pales, “MJ, once was already kind of risky, don’t you think?

She huffs like he’s moronic, “Absolutely not. We’re friends. And we have good sex. So we should continue to be friends...and have good sex.”

“Like,” he says slowly, “Friends with benefits?”

“He can be taught, ladies and gentleman,” she jokes, pecking him quickly and rolling over to grab her clothes and put them back on.

She catches his stupid grin while they redress and once they’re settled on the couch, he tugs an arm around her. MJ tosses her legs over his lap to get comfortable and nuzzles his face, because friends can nuzzle each other’s faces, “We’re gonna watch two episodes of Brookyln Nine-Nine and then we’re going to go to my room and you’re gonna go down on me. Got it?”

“Yea, yea,” Peter laughs, reaching for the remote. “I hear you.”

And that’s how it starts, because of Game of Thrones and MJ’s incessant need to prove that sex between two people is a choice and not fate or an inevitability or anything. She makes her own choices and sex with Peter just becomes one of them.

They decide to set some ground rules.

The first is the orgasm for orgasm rule. For every orgasm Peter has, MJ must have one in return. They set this rule because getting off during penetrative sex isn’t always a surefire thing. That’s not Peter’s fault, vaginas are simply complicated. Although, that rule isn’t always perfect because Peter likes going down on MJ. Peter really likes going down on MJ. And once he’s gotten her off, he doesn’t always stop. Sometimes he goes for a second orgasm, and one very special time he manages three. MJ can’t compete with those numbers and, frankly, he doesn’t want her to, he says. He just likes getting her off. And who is she to complain about that?

The second rule is the no sex in school rule. That one is decided upon rather quickly. Three days into their friends-with-benefits-thing Peter basically attacks MJ behind the high school after decathlon practice. It’s hot, they both agree, with MJ up against the bricks of the school building and the pair of them fumbling to get enough clothes out of the way so they can have sex without getting undressed, but its risky. And after they’re done, they decide sex in school or outside of the school technically is a no-go.

The third and final rule is simple. Neither MJ or Peter will tell anyone about this new arrangement. It’s not complicated for MJ or Peter, they both say, but their friends and family won’t understand. Having a lot of sex with your best friend can be just that, it doesn’t have to get complicated. There is no reason to get anyone else involved. So they don’t.

And neither of them has the impulse to tell anyone about their new arrangement thing until Mark comes back. MJ and Mark made sense. That was what everyone said about her relationship. They were both people of color in a country that wasn’t always kind of people of color and they were both fierce advocates for all minority groups and, hell, they even looked very nice together. And Mark was smart. Mark was freaky smart and understood MJ’s struggles better than anyone. Or at least that was how she felt at the start.

Then, he got into Stanford and their relationship deteriorated. The rest of her junior year was spent in the wishy-washy nowhere zone with her boyfriend. Until his senior prom rolled around. They went together and as soon as prom was over, Mark dumped her. She’d been pretty pissed.

So pissed that she cried in anger. Because Michelle Jones did not get upset. No way.

She remembered going to Peter that night and him wrapping her up in his arms and holding her. There had been no judgement, no words, just the comfort of his arms.

The rest of June had been awful, July had been better, and, by the end of August, MJ fell into bed with Peter. Life had a funny way of working out for her.

But Thanksgiving rolled around, as it was going to do, and suddenly all of the seniors that had graduated the year before were coming back. MJ knows in her heart that Mark will be around. His favorite aunt lives in the city. Of course he’s coming back.

She doesn’t expect him to be at Flash’s annual Turkey-gobble-gobble party though.

MJ wears a tank-top and a pair of her black jeans, but from the way Peter reacts to her outfit she might as well have been dressed to the nines. He’s cute, she thinks offhandedly, and she’s also totally going to sleep with him after.

All of their plans get derailed, though, when Mark arrives.

MJ asks Peter for a drink once they arrive and he goes off in search of one. She mingles with people she could care less about, tries to wingwoman for Ned and Peter is still not back.

She’s not worried per say, but she is curious what’s taking him so long.

She finds Peter and Mark at the makeshift bar arguing.

“-deserves better than your bullshit, Mark,” she catches Peter say.

Mark rolls his eyes in the practiced way MJ had taught him, “The pining was never cute, Parker. It’s less cute now.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter snipes.

“Don’t I?” Mark says, stepping in Peter’s face, “Do you think I don’t have fucking eyes or some shit? But she doesn’t like you like that, man. And why the hell would she? Some privileged short little fuck that spends more time sucking Tony Stark’s cock than being there for his friends.”

Those words get to Peter. She sees it.

She knows how hard it is for him to balance Spider-man and the rest of his life. She knows that he spreads himself so thin just to try and be there for everyone who loves him and still manages to save the world. She knows that he knows he’s lucky, that Tony Stark being his mentor is a big deal. But seeing him have all of his insecurities hurled in his face in one foul swoop looks devastating for him.

In that moment, Peter notices MJ and his face crumbles in even more devastation. He brushes past her with a mumbled, “Excuse me,” and then he’s gone. MJ tries to say something but she’s at a loss for words.

And then, Mark is standing in front of her looking sheepish but pleased to see her, “MJ, I didn’t know you were there. I never would have said that stuff if I knew.”

Her eyes narrow, “But you would’ve said that stuff to him if I wasn’t there? What the fuck is wrong with you, Mark.”

“I cam here,” he tries to defuse the situation, “to see you. I miss you, MJ. I never should have ended things.”

And that becomes the one moment MJ wants to tell people about her and Peter’s new arrangement. She wants to rub it in Mark’s face, hiss about how much Peter in bed Peter is than Mark ever was, she wants to make it all clear to him how the boy he just undercut means more to her than he ever did.

But she doesn’t tell him. She bears her teeth, all predator, and says, “Go back to Stanford, Mark. If I wasn’t done with you then, I’m sure as hell done with you now.”

It all happens kind of fast after MJ snarls at Mark. MJ goes looking for Peter and happens upon him in a spare closet. He’s standing with his head resting against the wall, his chest rising and falling as he breathes in and out.

The sight makes her want to murder Mark. Peter is self conscious enough, he doesn’t need the support to have more self doubt. She gingerly touches his back, a silent question to see if he’s okay.

But he doesn’t speak, he merely whirls around, pins her against the closet wall and kisses the ever-loving fuck out of her. This is the kind of kissing they’ve never done before. Usually, it airs on teasing and slow or passionate and measured, but it’s never been angry before and she can feel the anger radiating off of Peter. It’s not something she’d normally be into but she also kind of wants to kick Mark’s ass so tonight it’s a bit of a turn on.

When she reaches up to touch his hair, he draws her hand back to her side and shakes his head. She looks at him in confusion for only a beat before he’s turning her around and pulling her close. Her back is flush against his chest and he’s kissing her neck. It’s never been this way before, the desperate flesh frenzy. It’s like Peter can’t get enough of her to hold all at once. She knows Mark’s words have gotten to him and he’s trying to will them away.

Her head drops against his shoulder and she enjoys his completely overt groping: her neck, her breasts, her waist, the apex of her legs. His touch is burning and she’s dying.

“Peter,” she grinds out his name between breathy moans, “You gotta….it’s gotta be more than this.”

His teeth nibble at the juncture of her neck, “You want me to bend you over like this, MJ? Bend you over and fuck you?”

And damn her, she does. She has a fleeting thought that his question was the hottest way to ask for consent ever, but he’s making her mind mush so the coherent thought slips away as soon as it forms.

She nods, unable to speak much, and Peter turns her face so he can kiss her at their awkward angle. It’s more teeth than tongue and she’s shaking from his ministrations. The hand between her legs doesn’t quit and, even though it’s over her clothes, she can feel wetness pooling there.

The hand between her leg moves upward to unbutton her jeans and then, he’s sliding them down her legs. He doesn’t bother to take them completely off, just slides them down enough to make sex possible. Her underwear joins her jeans.

She hears the tell-tale crinkle of a condom and MJ gets a shiver of anticipation. She can’t see his face with him behind her and it’s all sort of thrilling. Even more so when he winds his hands in the back of her hair and guides her to bend over.

Each of her hands press against the wall, palms flat, and she looks over her shoulder to watch Peter’s face as he settles his hands on her hips and guides himself inside of her.

Her mouth falls open, her head drops down and she cries out. This angle is deeper than anything she’s ever had before. Almost immediately it makes her toes curl which usually takes a few minutes of work on her end.

Peter is groaning, too. Being sheathed inside of her always makes him a little boyishly chatty but today it isn’t how beautiful she is or how good she feels, it’s much dirtier.

His runs a flat hand up her spine and grabs a fist full of her hair as he sets a steady rhythm. “Let me hear you, MJ. I wanna hear it.”

Her knees knock from the pressure of staying standing. This wasn’t sex. This was fucking.

He experimentally tugs on her hair and MJ groans. It was a slight sting but it feels good, like the relief of getting pinched when you think you might be asleep. So Peter tugs harder and she moans louder.

“Yea,” he grits out, “You like that. Of course you do. You like to give it, why wouldn’t you let it get it. Get it right from behind.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, Parker,” she practically weeps. His hips slap into hers and she can hear the joining of their bodies. It’s a frantic and loud.

He tightens his grip on her hair, “I want them all to hear you.” And she knows what he really means by that: I really want Mark to hear you. On any other day, his Neanderthal bullshit would have really pissed her off but Mark had gotten under her skin, too.

She wanted him to hear. She wanted them all to hear. Screw them.

“Oh, fuck, Peter,” she yelps.

And he groans, “Louder.”

So she yells, “Oh fuck, PETER!” She says his name over and over like a curse as his praise washes over her. Every gorgeous, encouraging word accompanied by the slap of his hips and the tug of her hair made her louder. She wansn’t certain anyone could hear them but there is a part of her that sort of hopes they do.

And with one final angled push, Peter and MJ fall together. She stiffens her back and her eyes shoot open as she stares at her feet. MJ feels Peter rocking out the last of his orgasm behind her and, once it’s over, the room is a quiet, silent place. MJ is still bent over but she’s not sure if she wants to face him, to look him in the eyes.

That sex didn’t feel casual or unimportant. It felt inevitable and she hated it. Game of Thrones was wrong. Sex between two people could just be sex. And Peter and MJ could have casual sex without it being or meaning anything.

Or, well, she always thought they could.

She hears Peter slide out of her and start to pull himself together. She does not move. Her hands stay flat against the wall and her eyes remain glued to the ground.

Tenderly, Peter starts to clean her up, too. He finds some paper towels in the closet and cleans her up. Then he pulls her jeans back up and buttons them from behind. She still hasn’t moved.

“MJ,” Peter whispers, his voice sounds uncertain and like he’s gnawing at his lip. “MJ, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have done that.”

MJ shakes her head. “No,” she squeaks, her voice sounds so unlike herself, “No, I, uh, you didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want.”

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

He sounds so terrified that MJ finds some inner strength to stand, turn around and face him. She was right. He is gnawing at his lip, nerves flowing off of him. Her heart aches at the sight. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.

He exhales and his face cracks open, “Why are you sorry?”

“About Mark,” she replies.

He crosses the small gap between them in the closet and kisses her. It’s a soft and terribly fragile thing. “Mark’s an idiot. I don’t care about Mark. I care about you.”

“Was he right?” she asks, “About the pining?”

She almost doesn’t want to hear the answer. To know for certain would mean the destruction of everything that she had been fooling herself about. Perhaps she had been wrong all along. Maybe MJ and Peter were inevitable. Lying to herself made no difference.

“Come on,” he sighs, “Don’t do that. Don’t act like you don’t know.”

“I-I don’t,” she says breathlessly. “Or I didn’t until he said.”

Peter swallows, “MJ, I am so in love with you.” Her stomach drops. “And I’ve tried to keep it casual. I figured,” he laughs mirthlessly, “don’t matter what I figured, I guess. You don’t...it’s not the same for you.”

“I don’t,” she shook her head, “I don’t know, I mean. I really appreciate your friendship.”

“Don’t,” his jaw is tight and she can see his eyes glistening as he fights off the urge to cry, “Don’t do that. I want more than that.”

She crosses her arms over her chest like she could shield her heart from his words, like she could protect herself from the heartbreak, “I don’t know how I feel.”

“I know,” he smiles, and its the saddest she’s ever seen him look. “I should,” he gestures lamely at the door. “You know, go.”

MJ lifts her hand to stop him, she’s screaming on the inside for him to stay but she lets him go. And when the closet door clicks shut, she slides down the wall to sit on the floor.

In her mind, she replays the last four months. Every touch and every caress under a microscope and she suddenly sees things she’s never noticed before. The way his eyes lit up whenever she kissed him, the reverence of all of his ministrations, the simple way he always found her across a crowded room. It had been there all along and she pushed it away, swallowed it down, pretended he didn’t look at her with stars in his eyes.

When they both got back to school after Thanksgiving break, Peter wouldn’t even look at her. MJ pretended it didn’t bother her but she misses the way his eyes would find her in class, the smile that tugged on his lips. She misses lunch with Peter and Ned, the ease of his companionship. She misses him at school, she misses him after school. The place she missed him least was in her bed, or whatever surface they could find. The sex was great, sure, but the sex was great because it was Peter.

Peter.

It takes her four days of radio silence until MJ gives in.

She goes to his house and May opens the door. The two women share a significant look and in that look MJ knows all she needs to know. “Peter told you,” MJ observes.

May nods, “He was pretty upset, you know.”

“I know,” MJ shrinks. “I shouldn’t have let him leave.”

May shrugs, “I don’t know about that. It’s not my place to say one way or the other.” Then, May grabs her purse hanging just to the left of the door and calls out, “Peter, I’m going to the store.” She leaves the door open for MJ and with one final look heads down the hall toward the staircase. She takes it as a sign that May’s expects her to do something, to fix whatever it is she’s broken.

She doesn’t waist the opportunity. She closes the door behind herself.

Peter’s voice shouts from his room, “Bye May!”

MJ pushes open his bedroom door and Peter’s hanging upside down. The bright smile on his face fades at just the sight of her. MJ tries not to take it personally and spectacularly fails.

She tucks a piece of unruly hair behind her ear, “Hi.”

He swings down from the ceiling and lands with a dull thud on the floor. “Hey,” he breathes. Peter shakes his head, “Look, if you’re here for....I can’t...”

“No!” she insists loudly. “No,” she tries again, quieter, “I’m not here for...that. I miss you.”

He grins and it almost edges on mean, “MJ, don’t. Come on, don’t.”

“Peter, I miss you,” she frowns, irritated with his attitude. “I do.”

“I need some time before I’m okay with this, okay? Being rejected sucks.”

“Hey, woah,” her hands fly to her hips, “Let’s get something straight. I did not reject you.”

“You basically rejected me.”

“I said I didn’t know how I felt. And I didn’t. It was a lot. You just emotion dumped on me.” MJ points out.

He has the decency to look somewhat ashamed by that and all she can think is good. He left. Sure, she let him go but they both screwed up. And now she was here to make things right. Or, at least try.

She sees him steel himself, like he’s preparing for battle, and battle is what he knows best, she supposes. He takes a step forward, “And now?

“Pretty sure,” she takes her own step, teasing him, “I like you.”

He shakes his head, no room for levity, “You can’t be pretty sure. You gotta be sure.”

“Peter,” she touches his chest uneasily, “I’m sure.”

He covers his hand over hers, his fingers entangled with hers. Her heart flutters in a familiar way. “Cool,” he chuckles and then his smile is so blinding she has to roll her eyes.

But before she can speak, she surges forward and kisses him. He barely kisses her because his mouth is too distracted by smiling and somehow that is even better than kissing.

When she tries to edge their kiss into more familiar territory, Peter pulls away. She pouts and he pecks the pout. “I want to,” he swallows, “but I want to make sure this is...real? I guess.”

She flicks his forehead, “Its real, idiot. But I will respect your virtue. We can wait until you take me on a proper date.”

He playfully raises his eyebrow, “Oh, I’m taking you on a date now?”

“Oh yea,” she nods, high and mighty, “I like to be wined and dined, Parker.”

“Tony’s gonna have to give me a raise,” he says, pulling her in for another kiss.

The kiss lasts longer this time and MJ whines like she wants more, but only for him will she curb her wants. He better appreciate the fucking sacrifice she’s making, or so she thinks hostilely.

When he pulls away, he brushes his nose against hers, “Hey MJ?”

She hums, “Hmm?”

“Would you say this was inevitable?”

MJ takes a step back to glare at him. “You get that dumbass Game of Thrones rhetoric out of my face.”

He throws his head back and laughs loudly, pulling her close once more. His kiss is more a punctuation than a kiss. “Just checking.”

And the next kiss is the kind she imagines people that date have a lot. Because, well, unless it was clear they were dating. She supposes she should check with Peter but the way he kisses her, it seems abundantly clear.

#spideychelle #fwb fic #trash can

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buckybarnesstar · 8 years ago

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Warmth

Note: i finally have a new laptop, guys! so maybe I can post a lot more! :) hope you all didn’t miss me too much, hehe ;) anyways, this was such a cute request! thanks so much for sending this in, darling! i hope you enjoy it; feel free to leave comment! .c

Request: Do you think you could do a request where the reader gets cold really easily and Bucky keeps her warm? In a fluffy kinda way. Thank you for taking the time to read this, whether you write it or not.

Damn Tony and his 60 degree temperature. You wanted to sleep in, get some much needed rest and wake up refreshed. Instead, it was 6am, you were tired as hell, and you were absolutely freezing. Sure, it was extremely easy for you to get cold, but you went to sleep perfectly warm in your mountain of blankets. But as soon as the AC kicked on, the cool air hit you full-force, goosebumps littering your skin as if you were standing in the middle of a blizzard…nude. You tossed and turned, trying to make a blanket burrito, stuffing your face under your pillow, attempting to get warm without having to take a scolding hot shower. Your body started to shiver and you could feel your toes getting cold in your fuzzy socks. You grumbled expletives as you turned onto your back again. “Friday, tell Tony that I hate him when he wakes up. Please and thank you.” You muttered, throwing your blankets off of you. Not even Friday was “allowed” to mess with the temperatures. Tony knew how easily it was for you to get cold, but he never listened when you asked for him to keep it higher in your room. You’d definitely have to warm up in the shower. You quickly got a pair of clothes and walked into the bathroom, readying your shower. Sadly, it didn’t help at all. If anything, the cold air hit you tenfold when you stepped out. You grabbed a sweatshirt and a pair of leggings, deciding to blow dry your hair so it wasn’t cold and wet. After getting dressed and ready for the day, you left to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Hopefully that warmed you up. If it didn’t, you were going to march into Tony’s room and demand him to personally turn the AC up. And if that didn’t work, you’d break it. It was silent throughout the tower, the others probably won’t be up anytime soon. Yesterday’s mission took a lot of energy from the team, which is why you wanted to do what they were: sleeping in. You sighed and flicked on the kitchen light, the sun hadn’t risen enough to give out enough light just yet. You jumped upon seeing Bucky sitting at the island, his own hand holding a cup of coffee. He looked up at you and smiled gently, setting his cup down. “Mornin’, Y/N.” You smiled and crossed your arms, forcing yourself to talk through your shivers. “Good morning, Bucky. Did you sleep well?” You walked over to the pantry and dug through a box of hot chocolate packets. It was nearly empty because of how many times you’ve had to drink this during the summer to stay warm. Bucky sighed softly. “Not really. I guess you didn’t either, seeing as you’re up so early?” He watched you reach up for a mug, huffing when you couldn’t reach it. He chuckled and walked over to help you. He stood behind you and held your waist, his right hand resting on the bit of skin showing from your sweatshirt riding up. You relaxed back on your feet when he reached for the mug and handed it to you. Bucky smiled softly as you thanked him. “Ar-are you cold?” He asked, casting his eyes away from you. He had felt the small goosebumps on your skin. You scoffed and walked over to the fridge. “I slept alright, then I woke up from the AC turning on. So, yeah. I’m very cold.” You frowned and Bucky nodded, watching you get your hot chocolate ready, pouring the milk into a saucepan over low heat. Bucky took a moment to study you. You looked tired, your lips were set in a pout because of your current state, and the sleeves of your sweatshirt were pulled over your knuckles. He loved the way you looked after waking up. He thought you were the most gorgeous thing. Bucky went back to his stool and you followed behind, blowing your hot chocolate. You sat on the stool beside him, setting your cup down. “Tony keeps it too cold, don’t you think?” You sighed, resting your forearms on the island. Bucky did the same, his bare arm brushing against your sweatshirt covered one. You mindlessly pressed your arm against his. It felt so warm, as if he might have a fever. Bucky shrugged and sipped on his coffee. “No, not really. I don’t get cold or hot. I guess it was part of the serum.” He explained shortly, looking down at you. His eyes fell to your arm resting against his and you couldn’t help but notice. “Y-you feel warm.” You slowly pulled your arm away, not really wanting to. Bucky could see you shivering still. Your legs were gently bouncing and his mind came up with a crazy idea. He took a chance. “What if I warmed you up? I-I could, I mean, I could hold you?” Your eyes widened and he felt his heart race. “O-or not, I can-Sorry I shouldn’t have even-” You smiled and moved your arm back against his. “Please?” Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. You two finished your drinks before Bucky walked beside you into the tv room. The sun was rising faster now and it let a little warmth into the tower. Just not enough. Bucky grabbed a maroon colored blanket from a closet full of winter blankets and old decorative pillows. He sat on the couch and tapped his thigh, smiling at you. You felt yourself become shy, but nevertheless, sat in his lap. You instantly sighed and cuddled into him, the warmth radiating from his body was way too inviting. He chuckled and kept his right arm over you under the blanket, resting his hand on your thigh as you brought your legs into yourself. He decided to keep his metal arm over the blanket that was draped over the two of you. He knew it would be even colder than the temperature in the tower. Bucky sighed and relaxed into the couch, looking down at you. He couldn’t ignore how perfect you fit. Your shivering had calmed down and you cuddled further into him. You could feel his thumb caressing against your leg, the movement making your stomach flutter with butterflies. “Better?” He whispered, his warm breath hitting the top of your head. You moaned as a reply and nodded. He smiled and pressed his lips to your head. He let his eyes close and was drifting off to sleep until he felt you shifting against him, and suddenly felt your freezing cold fingertips brush against his neck. He jumped, only because he wasn’t expecting it. “Geez, Y/N, you really are cold.” He spoke softly, rubbing his hand up and down against your thigh. You nodded against his chest. “Fuck Tony.” You whispered, pulling a gentle laugh from Bucky. He took another chance and pulled your left arm down by your elbow, his right hand searching for your left one. Your heart sped up in your chest as Bucky held onto your hand, his thumb caressing along the top of it. His hand was much bigger than yours, but it was so, so warm.

Bucky relaxed under you again and his breathing began to slow down. It was comforting and it made you sleepy. Letting a yawn escape, you let your eyes shut as you allowed yourself to fall asleep.

Little did you know, Bucky was watching, smiling down at you. The breath coming from your nose tickled his neck and he felt his stomach flutter. He had always harbored a crush on you and it took a bit of courage to offer to warm you up, it surprised him at how easy it was for you to say yes to him. But he was glad he asked because now he won’t have to wonder ever again what it’s like to hold you in his arms.

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andrewuttaro · 7 years ago

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New Look Sabres: GM 37 - ANA - Still Kicking

Two teams come into this game with two straight regulation losses: only one will come out with a W! I did some digging into past blogs and I discovered something weirdly encouraging: the Sabres came into this game after losing two games in a row in regulation. That’s not the encouraging part. The encouraging part is that this is only the second time this season the Sabres have lost two in a row in regulation and the last time was the 6th and 7th games back in October! Yea, there was that five game losing streak right after the big olde ten dubs but the Sabres played good in four of those and collected points in three. Kind of like Friday night in Washington when Buffalo played well but was just not rewarded for it. Last night in a tilt against the Anaheim Ducks the Sabres looked good again, this time in they looked good the kind of way that makes you excited for the postseason: the consistent way. Maintaining a narrow lead for most of the game the Mighty Sabres of Buffalo pounded out a hard fought win in front of a very merry sellout home crowd. Last game I just asked for a nice sendoff before the Christmas break and evidently my letter reached the North Pole because I got what I wished for! I must be a good boy. Of course it’s fair to say it’s the Anaheim Ducks and in spite of where they sit in the Pacific Division their just not that great a team. Yea, that’s fair. But within that shaky framework are a few pieces that won a Stanley Cup more than a decade ago the year the Sabres should’ve been there to meet them. And it’s also Christmastime so maybe just let yourself be happy about a win for goodness sake!

Having gone home for some Yuletide prep with the Fam I watched the first period on MSG TV next to my dad like it was 2011 all over again. Jolly. The Sabres came out immediately throwing the pressure on the Ducks, shots after shots after shots, and the visitors just kind of held on through it. John Gibson was clearly a big part of it. Jack Eichel got a chance, Tage Thompson got a good chance, friggin everyone hopped on the sleigh and got a chance. The Ducks did get to testing Linus Ullmark a little bit as the period went on. Then the Buffalo Sabres gave us their Christmas present to us: a rare gift that, barring another wicked win streak, is a truly meaningful gift to those of us who watch this team a lot: a powerplay goal. Set up in the offensive zone Jack Eichel got the puck to Rasmus Ristolainen who continues to be on a line with the other big Rasmus: Rasmus Dahlin to make Rasmus Squared. Risto got it to Dahlin who you could tell sized up a quick pass back to Eichel but instead skated toward Gibson and just rockets it in five hole. The noise of the home crowd was very audible. Funny thing, I think Dahlin happened to also go five hole on Reinhart who was doing an excellent job screening Gibson. That goal came a tad over three minutes left in the first period and nothing terrible noteworthy happened before the first horn sounded except an almost fight. Jeff Skinner must have been doing some trash talking with Ryan Getzlaf (which makes a ton of sense btw) because Zach Bogosian came rushing over like Getzlaf was about to punch a puppy. No puppies were punched and the second period began similarly with volley after volley of Sabres chances.

Ondrej Kase had a scary breakaway early in the second but didn’t get past Ullmark. There was an almost goal for Jack and Jeff that you could see how pissed the two were that they didn’t finish it. I don’t know about you but as the last minutes of the second period ticked by and the Sabres took a 1-0 lead into the third period there was a nervous energy. Now I’m listening to the radio broadcast en route back to Buffalo and I can’t help but get that feeling something is going to go south. The Sabres were on the penalty kill to start the period and once again the kill was strong under the guidance of Chief Killer Bogo and his newly returned co-conspirator Jake McCabe. Adam Henrique almost sneaked in a wraparound as the PP died but no line was crossed. The Ducks started to pour it on now. Three straight regulation losses is rough and they didn’t want it either. Linus Ullmark really got into the zone facing shots from just about every angle. And then, like getting the gift you’ve been asking for on Christmas morning, Jeff Skinner got the puck and skated in around the outside of the net and roofed it close quarters short side on John Gibson. 2-0 Sabres with 8:48 left in the third period. Insurance if I’ve ever seen an insurance goal. Small but massive note: that’s Jeff Skinner’s 26th goal this season. With that he beats the most goals a single Sabre scored last season at 25 whom Jack Eichel scored in an injury shortened season. Pretty unreal, eh? Seven or so minutes later as the Sabres increasingly push back against the Ducks the visitors pull their goalie and Conor Sheary finds the empty netter. The time ticked down to zero and Linus Ullmark’s second NHL career shutout and eighth win of his first season working part-time in Buffalo. The Buffalo Sabres win 3-0 over the Anaheim Ducks sweeping the season series with quacks for the first time since 2010-2011.

Now as the Sabres navigated that perilous 1-0 lead as the Ducks came at them hard early in the third period there was something far more worrisome afoot in Key Bank Center. The play-by-play call by Rick Jeanneret went more or less silent with a confused sounding Rob Ray trying to do color commentary and play-by-play for a time. Eventually, well known Sabres social media guidepost and pre/postgame host Brian Duff took over the color commentary somewhat awkwardly, but RJ did not return for the duration of the game. While officials for the team said an update on him would be given once more was known a few folks at the game said they saw RJ carried out on a stretcher. WGR 550 reported shortness of breath and heart problems. It was a difficult night trying to think about writing this while worrying about someone who embodies this franchise perhaps more than Gilbert Perrault or Alexander Mogilny. RJ is literally the longest serving NHL play-caller in league history having been with the Sabres since 1971. Think about that, if you’re under 20 then one or both of your parents were probably not born yet when RJ first took the microphone as their guy. He may deserve a banner in the rafters more than Danny Gare. Well, the update the Sabres delivered this morning was very encouraging saying he is resting, doing well and looking forward to being back after the Christmas break; but what he apparently texted to the Athletic’s John Vogl this morning is perhaps the most heartwarming message and weirdly accurate of where the team is at on the ice right now as well: simply “Still Kicking.” Incredible.

Now we go into a Christmas NHL break and a roster freeze to go with it. The Sabres play again on Thursday in St. Louis where they will meet Ryan O’Reilly in the better situation he was looking for… oh wait. All kidding aside, I want the best for O’Reilly. I have tickets to his return to Buffalo on St. Patrick’s Day because I know fun games when I see them. I will post a Amerks Angle for December after Christmas but before that game so if you just cannot wait for more content then you got something to look forward to: but if you are that person, well why haven’t you commented your words of yuletide encouragement!? Yes: comment, like and do share this blog on social media and amongst family and friends with holly jolly spirit! And just think about where you were with this team at Christmas last year: probably just about tapped out considering the season was pretty well dead already. What if I told you then the Sabres would be third in the Atlantic division nine points up on a playoff spot in spitting distance of the Maple Leafs? You probably wouldn’t believe me but if you did you would sign up for it in a heartbeat. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and very glad tidings to you and your kinfolk! Let’s go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Conor Sheary joked about his empty netter not counting after the game. If he starts scoring again after Christmas maybe it will count a lot in retrospect.

#buffalo sabres #hockey #nhl #blog #anaheim ducks

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buckybarnesstar · 8 years ago

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Car Accident

Note: yay, I hope you like this! I know it’s short and I hope that’s okay! thanks for the request! feedback is welcome .c

Request: Hi, um, can you maybe write a fluffy story about the reader who gets into a not serious car accident, like she doesn’t have to go to the hospital. But the car is totaled, and they call Bucky in a panic and he calms her down and it’s just really fluffy and cute and that would be great you’re great. - @ofmiceandmusicsworld

So maybe not trusting your gut instinct to take the shorter way to the tower wasn’t the best idea. But since when do you ever have a good idea? You wanted to see more of the city, so taking the longer way gave you that spark of adventure. Now, anyone who knows how to drive should know not to use their cellphone.

You followed that rule strictly, but it seems that some people don’t.

You were cruising down the almost empty road, making sure you only took quick glances at the scenery around you. Your fingers were lightly tapping against the wheel along to the song on your radio. A small smile was plastered on your face and you couldn’t feel calmer than you were right now.

That is until you saw a blue car driving down the opposite side of the road, halfway into your lane. You gasped and tried to swerve to the curb, but they sped up just a tad. A scream fell from your lips when you couldn’t move out of the way in time.

“NO NO! What the hell are you doing!” You yelled, coming to stop just to have the blue car crash into the front of yours. “FUCK!” You screamed, your body jerking forward and the airbag blowing out to shield your face from smacking into your wheel.

After the airbag deflated, you sat in your seat, watching your car and the other blowing smoke from the hoods. Your heart was racing and your hands started trembling. “Oh my God.” You squealed, leaning up closer to see the damage through your windshield. “Holy shit!” You spat, shakily unbuckling your seat belt and opening your door.

You watched a girl get out of her car and gasp as she looked at the two cars. “I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention!” She yelled as she saw you coming around to the front. Tears filled your eyes and you ignored the girls apology and poor excuse. “Call 911! This is your fault, you can explain!” You yelled, feeling your knees grow weak.

Grabbing your phone from your front denim jacket pocket, you speed dialed Bucky’s number. Your emotions and adrenaline were going crazy; even the realization that the accident could’ve been worse was all too real for you and you couldn’t hold it together.

“Y/N, hey!” Bucky answered on the second ring. “B-Bucky!” You sobbed, turning to look at the cars again. Bucky was alert now, listening to you. “Y/N, what happened!? Are you okay?’ He asked, his breathing almost matching yours. “I-I- some IDIOT crashed into me! My car-it’s-” You rambled out, your breaths coming out heavy and deep.

“Doll, I need you to calm down. Are you hurt? Where are you? Never mind, don’t answer. I have your location tracked on my phone. Stay there.” Bucky rushed, the sound of his car starting in the background.

You let out a sob and held your forehead, feeling a little lightheaded. “I’m fine, I just-I’m scared.” You choked, sighing heavily. You looked at the other girl and she looked just as shaken up as you. “Y/N, I can hear you breathing. You need to calm down, can you do that for me?” Bucky asked gently.

Nodding your head, you tried to control your breathing. “That’s it,” Bucky encouraged you, “Y/N, I promise you’re okay.” Bucky soothed you as you continued breathing in and out slowly.

You heard sirens approaching and your heart started racing again. “Bu-Bucky, I have to handle this. I’m okay, just please hurry.” You whimpered, holding your hand to your chest. You could feel your heart hammering against your chest.

After hanging up with Bucky, you saw an officer come over to you, his hands on his belt. “Ma'am, oh my-you’re from the Avengers!” He yelled, pointing at you. In any other situation, you would’ve smiled. But this was unprofessional. “Sorry, ma'am, I-I need to get some information from you.” He said, clearing his throat.

Twenty very slow minutes passed and you were softly crying again. Because of that girls dumb choices and pea-sized brain, your poor baby, your dream car, your well taken care of and not at all fitting to your expensive living compound car, your beautiful bright and shiny yellow Volkswagen Beetle, was being totaled. All because that little bitch couldn’t keep her hands off of her damn phone.

You were a breathless, hysteric mess again. Your heart was racing and you couldn’t even remember crashing now that you think about it. Your eyes were watery and your hands were trembling. The frantic looking girl ran over to you and gasped. “I am so sorry! Really, I am!” She said, her own breath short and labored.

“It’s alright, just please.” You held your hand up to her and shook your head, needing some more time to register everything. Bucky’s car came to a stop and he took a moment to look at the mess, his heart sinking as he looked at your distressed figure. Hearing a door shutting, you turned to see Bucky and gasped, immediately running towards him.

The road was blocked off, so you met him halfway. Bucky’s arms embraced you tightly, his metal hand cradling your head. “Are you okay?” He asked as he pulled you away to check for any injuries.

Bucky’s eyes were on yours again and you nodded gently. “I-I’m fine. The officer said she was texting and driving.” You said, rolling your eyes. Bucky looked over at the girl and his lips pressed together, his jaw clenched. “People are fucking reckless these days.” Bucky spat, his metal hand wrapping around your waist.

You sighed and shrugged your shoulders. “I can’t believe it totaled your car, Doll. But I’m so happy you’re not hurt.” Bucky said sadly, looking down at you. His hands moved to hold your face, his thumbs wiping away your tears. “I know, me too.” You whispered softly.

You sighed, leaning into Bucky. His arms held you close. “Let’s get you home.” Bucky said, kissing the top of your head. Your turned around and watched a car pick up the girl and the truck had left with the both of your cars on the back of it.

Another sigh fell from your lips and Bucky helped you into the passenger seat of his car. He got in his side and pulled away, taking you to the tower. You were still shaken up and you wanted to cuddle and watch movies. You’d have to worry about your car later.

Bucky held you close, you were in his lap and his hands were caressing your back and exposed leg. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” He whispered against your head. You turned to look at him, the movie becoming background noise as you watched Bucky’s eyes. You gave him a small smile. “I just hate that my car is messed up.” You frowned, a sigh falling from your lips.

A chuckle escaped Bucky and he shook his head. “I swear, you love that car more than you love me!” Bucky said with a smile, moving a strand of your hair behind your ear. “That’s not true!” You whined, hiding your face in Bucky’s neck. He chuckled again. “Definitely not as much as I love you.” You whispered, planting a small kiss on his pulse point.

Bucky smiled and pulled you away from him, leaning in to press his lips to yours. Your eyes fluttered closed, your hand reaching up to cup Bucky’s cheek. He pulled away with a smile and you giggled softly.

A few minutes passed and you sighed again, mindlessly playing with Bucky’s metal fingers. “Remember all the good times we had in my car?” You asked, watching Bucky roll his eyes. “Doll, we’re getting it back soon. Stop talking about it and kiss me some more.” Bucky chuckled, tackling you onto the couch, your back on the cushions.

You laughed and held him close, letting him hover above you. “Okay, okay. Come here, you.” You smiled, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt, pressing your lips to his.

Note: I’m sorry if this sucks, omg. I hope you like it, sweetie! .c

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buckybarnesstar · 8 years ago

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Protective

Request: Hey there, do you think you could write a Bucky x Reader with them on a mission, Bucky having to listen to Reader flirting and pretending to be interested in their target, a guy from HYDRA, please ?

The mission was supposed to be easy. Find your target, flirt with him, and try to get him to the other two members. You thought you’d be able to do this stress free, but Bucky seems to have a jealous and overprotective side to him that you just discovered. You couldn’t help but enjoy this a little more. You weren’t the type to feel guilty about doing your job, no matter the way of doing so.

You sat at the empty bar, waiting for Tony to let you know your target has arrived. Bucky and Tony were waiting in a van, ready to take the guy away. You sighed and looked around the bar, looking at the people. There were only a few, some already drunk as can be as they played rounds of pool. Your choice of a Saturday night hangout spot was far different from your targets choice.

You swished your drink around in your cup and sighed again, watching the ice float around. “Still nothing?” You asked quietly, hearing shuffling in your comm. “Not yet.” Tony said, sounding rather annoyed.

You had been waiting for an hour almost for your target to show up. “Wait! Wait, here he is.” Tony said, having tapped into the security camera outside. Just then, the door to the place opened. A shiver ran down your spine as the cold night air blew in.

The man was tall and dark haired, wearing a large black trench coat and black boots. His eyes immediately landed on yours and he smirked at you. You could feel your nerves start to build up and you forced a sexy smirk back at him. Turning your gaze back to your drink, you heard the man’s footsteps approach you.

He sat down on the stool beside you and you could smell his cologne. “What’s a gorgeous lady like yourself doing all alone?” He asked, his voice low and sultry. You heard Bucky growl into your comm and you looked up at the man. “Just having a drink.” You said, winking up at him. He bit his lip and motioned for the bartender to come over.

The bartender looked at the man and asked for his order. “I’ll have tequila, thanks.” The man said, watching the bartender quickly get his drink ready. “Long day?” You asked in a soft yet sexy tone, taking a sip of your own drink. The man laughed darkly, glancing down at you. “You have no idea.” He said quietly. You definitely had an idea. The man was a Hydra agent. Being in the same room as him made you want to put a bullet in his skull.

You quietly hummed in response and the bartender handed the man his drink before walking out of the small area. “So, what’s your name, beautiful?” The man asked, his hand reaching down to rest on your thigh. You gasped and cleared your throat. The noise caught Bucky’s attention. “What’d he do?” Bucky asked, his tone harsh. You ignored Bucky, hoping your comm wasn’t too loud. You put on a smirk and looked up at the man.

“Y/N.” You said, reaching for your drink. You finished the rest and slid your cup away from you. His hand squeezed your thigh and you turned to him, poking out your chest. His eyes fell to your cleavage, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “And yours?” You asked. “Nate.” He stated simply. “You are absolutely stunning.” Nate said, leaning in closer to you. You smirked and giggled softly. “Thanks. You’re not so bad yourself.” You said, hearing Tony snicker into your comm.

You talked to Nate for about fifteen minutes, not really talking about anything but your body and how great he thought you looked. After a while, it got old and he was getting really forward with his hands. “So, how about we get out of here?” You asked, gently grasping Nate’s hand. “I thought you’d never ask.” Nate said, letting you pull him out of the bar.

Nate walked with you along the sidewalk and you could see the van not too far away. Suddenly your back was pressed against the hard cold brick of a building. You groaned from hitting the brick a bit harshly, but Nate took it as a pleasurable moan. “Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” Nate asked and you let out a forced giggle. “I do.” You moaned out, pulling him in closer.

Nate’s hands gripped your ass and you gasped before his lips made their way onto yours. He tasted like tequila and you wanted so badly to push him away, but you knew this was the only way to lead him to the van. His lips were sloppy and felt nothing like Bucky’s.

You let Nate kiss along the skin of your neck and you let out a fake moan, that sounded oddly satisfying. “Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?” Bucky asked angrily and you quickly covered up the noise with another moan so you didn’t risk Nate hearing your comm. You were lucky he was kissing the opposite side of your neck. “Your skin is so soft.” Nate whispered, carefully nipping at your skin. “Fucking bullshit.” Bucky muttered.

You smirked and let your hands move into his hair. “Take me to your place and you can feel the rest of me, Nate.” You fake moaned, feeling Nate’s hands squeeze your waist. He chuckled deeply and it made your skin crawl with uneasiness. “Fuck. Let’s go.” Nate said, quickly pulling you along. You were relieved he was walking towards the van along the sidewalk.

You knew the two men were watching and you could hear them getting ready to pull Nate inside. The sound of the door unlocking in your comm let you know they were ready. As you approached the van, you pulled away from Nate. “I hate to end our night so soon.” You said, feeling happy you were able to get him here. Nate looked at you confused just as you two stopped at the van. “What?” Nate asked, looking at you.

You smirked and the van door suddenly slid open and you saw a metal hand pull Nate inside. “What the fuck!” Nate yelled, instantly getting punched in the face. Bucky grunted and slammed Nate into the floor of the van. You rolled your eyes and quickly got inside, shutting the door behind you. You sat down in your seat and Bucky handcuffed Nate. “What is going on!?” Nate yelled, looking around.

His eyes fell on Bucky and he gasped. “The-you’re the-” Bucky clenched his jaw and gripped Nate’s coat. “Not anymore, you sack of shit.” Bucky spat, slamming Nate back down on the floor of the van. You crossed your leg over the other and looked at Bucky. He sat down and Tony drove away, taking you all back to the helicopter so Tony could take Nate to the holding cells for questioning.

Nate glanced between you and Bucky. “Why did you do this?” Nate asked, angrily sighing. Bucky looked at Nate. “It’s best if you shut your mouth.” Bucky said, clenching his fists. Nate looked over at you now and you smiled at him. “You’re gonna have loads of fun where you’re going, don’t you worry.” You said with a smirk. Nate rolled his eyes and tried to wiggle out of the handcuffs.

A few moments passed and you felt eyes on you. You looked up from your lap and saw Bucky staring at you and Nate smirking. He glanced between you and Bucky. “I assume you guys are a thing?” Nate asked, sitting up as best he could. Bucky’s head shot towards Nate and you sighed. “What of it?” You asked, crossing your arms.

Nate licked his lips and turned to Bucky. “Your girl has a nice ass.” Nate said, licking his lips. Bucky sat up and you heard his arm whir before he punched Nate in the nose, knocking him out cold. “Nobody touches my girl.” Bucky growled. Tony laughed and pulled up to the destination. “He already did.” Tony said, getting out of the van.

You rolled your eyes and got out, letting Bucky pull Nate along over his shoulder. He walked over to the helicopter and dropped him inside, letting Tony take him away. You watched the helicopter leave and turned to walk back to the van. Bucky’s hand caught your arm and you looked up at him. “That was a pretty loud moan you let out back there.” Bucky said, his jaw clenched.

You pulled your arm away with a sigh. “I didn’t mean it. I was doing my job.” You said, starting to get a tad annoyed. Bucky scoffed and shook his head. “You seemed very eager, Y/N.” Bucky said, anger laced in his tone. “I was doing my JOB.” You said again, looking up at Bucky with your eyebrows creased. Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate that he kissed you and touched you.” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking.

You sighed and stepped up to Bucky, wrapping your arms around his waist. “It didn’t feel right. I only want you, Bucky.” You said, feeling Bucky’s arms wrap around you tightly. “I want to kill him.” Bucky said lowly. You shook your head gently. “He won’t make it, they’ll end up doing that for you.” You said quietly.

Bucky placed a kiss on your head and sighed. “You’re mine.” He said, lifting your head up to look at him. You smiled and blushed, leaning up on your toes to kiss Bucky. He quickly pulled you closer, his lips feeling perfect against yours. You pulled away, resting your forehead against Bucky’s.

“I’m yours.”

Note: I’m really sorry if this sucks! thanks for the request! feedback is always welcome. .c

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