#enneagram cycle

[writing--references]

Kaumana Caves. Hilo, Hawai'i.

[lowcountry-gothic]

And...it's finished! (The first draft, at least.)

Any Enneagram Threes out there? Looking for readers for a short story I just finished, based on that type. Let me know if anyone's interested...

[kitttttchaos]

It’s 5 AM and I just read the “Kavinsky’s substance party scene” for the second time and I have some thoughts

Obviously it’s a key point for Ronan’s character arc because he’s discovering these things that make him happy, and at the moment he thinks that’s this danger of street racing and all the stuff in that world, and he’ll later realize that his relationships with his friends are where real happiness comes from

But reading about Gansey in this scene—

This just made me realize that Gansey’s fatal flaw is pride. He’s the same enneagram (3) as Annabeth, so that makes sense, but you don’t notice it really the first time you read it. It’s hidden, because Gansey KNOWS it’s there. He does so many good things to overcompensate for that pride, which both confuses the people around him and just adds to his focus on people’s perception of him. Pride is at his roots, from his family, from his own success and experience that is so different from everyone else’s. He was born to think that way, and he knows it’s not the right way to think, but he comes back to it when things get deep.

“This was Gansey with a lofty tilt to his chin, a condescending quirk to his mouth. A Gansey that was aware that no matter what went down here tonight, he would still go back to Monmouth Manufacturing and rule his particular corner of the world. This was a Gansey, Ronan realized, that Adam would hate.”

But that’s not to say Gansey’s core is narcissistic. He’s proud, which could mean “proud of”. Proud of his friends, proud of his world, proud of his achievements, proud of all the wonder that he gets to discover. His goal, in a way, is to get away from the selfish pride he was born into, all the while building up more righteous pride, that has synonyms like joy, delight, and satisfaction.

His obsession with wanting to be a better person is so real, and I can’t think of any more to say but I think that’s beautiful

[clickofcampk]

Enneagram Types of the Raven Boys + Blue

(I’ve only finished the first book so far and these are just my opinions, but I think they fit pretty well ;)

Gansey - Type 3 - Desires Worthiness

“Gansey knew he had to make a difference, had to make a bigger mark on the world because of the head start he’d been given, or he was the worst sort of person out there.”

Blue - Type 4 - Desires Importance

“Blue never got tired of feeling particularly needed, but sometimes she just wished needed felt less like a synonym for useful.”

Adam - Type 8 - Desires Freedom

“He had done so much to make sure that when he moved out, it would be on his own terms. Not Robert Parrish’s. Not Richard Gansey’s.”

Ronan - Type 7 - Desires Happiness

“Screaming along with the thousands of tiny explosions beneath the hood was a place where Ronan felt nothing but uncomplicated happiness, a dead and empty place in his heart where he needed nothing else.”

Noah - Type 9 - Desires Peace

“He looked joyful and adoring, like a Labrador retriever. Noah had decided almost immediately that he would do anything for Blue.” (Plus the whole scene in The Dream Thieves where him and Blue are just cuddling the pillows in Gansey’s bed)

[cryinglookingatsoulages]

rip joseph kavinsky you would’ve loved the way prospero usher died in episode 2

[buysomecheese]

Fellas, tell me-

Is it very ESTJ, 6w5, 269 tritype of me to kin Upside Down & Inside Out (OK Go), Humpty Dumpty (AJR), Belonger (Maxton Waller), It’s Called: Freefall (Rainbow Kitten Surprise), Northern Attitude (Noah Kahan), All’s Well That Ends (Rainbow Kitten Surprise), Upside Down (Jack Johnson), I Won’t Let You Down (OK Go), Real Men (Mitski),? Is it?

[imingrief]

Personality tests are never accurate, I know, but they’re also the air I breathe. I go in with such hope of better understanding and the deep desire of actualization... and then immediately discard as valid because by the time I finish I realize all my answers are just the middle option. I learn nothing but the fact that I am everything.

[kaesileigh]

Here i am battling myself again i get tired so tired of seeking seeking seeking meaning and purpose and importance connection this paradox of needing and resisting defending myself from…what? Life?  Failure…face-flopping?  Pain?  

Pain.  

heart-breaking, heart-aching 

rejection.  

Being seen and found not worthy. Not interesting.  Not importantNot enoughNot... round and round i go living in my head taking no action in-action not IN action and guilt and judgement perpetuate the cycle keeping me spinning and going nowhere.  

Here is not nowhere 

but why can i not be satisfied with here 

talk myself into circles not even making art of my experience disgust with the mundane inability to sit with the discomfort in the silence in the stillness must move constantly in motion rhythmic lulling something to cling to a tether from what for what? For fear that i will float away?  Fear that i will be lost to the depths of my own darkness?  that i dont have the tether within to keep me from madness? 

 Words words words what good are these words?

 i look at the people who i admire and respect who inspire they are artists they live with passion authentic with the rawness of life make beauty out of pain turn suffering into a catalyst for connection and every moment every breath every mundane minute of their life is part of their work their art their lives are the ultimate masterpiece.  It’s in my quest to be special, impactful, create something meaningful that i lose myself lose touch with the goddess with soul with source.  The seeking is insatiable and i find myself starving unsatisfied with the junk i’ve been feeding the fear-fraught ego and i SCREAM 

Primal

And collapse chest heaving eyes burning. Wet.  jaw clenched. Swaying.lips parting to whisper

Enough.

Enough.

[wormsin]

"Bruce’s protective control and Dick’s perfectionist caregiving are core dysfunctions for their characters" oh this is such a beautiful, and perfectly fitting, way of describing them that ive ever seen! and it's really interesting to note that, their dysfunctions are.. how do i say it, 'complement' the other's? giving a 'perfect' looping feedback?

like, bruce's protective control pushes dick's perfectionist self to work even harder--to achieve the impossible and essentially makes him more desperate to take care of bruce, and in return this pushes bruce's protectiveness to another whole new degree which then lead to his need to keep everything under his control become even worse. and that makes it harder for them to break from the cycle (am i making sense? i hope im making sense)

hold my beer, I'm using this as an excuse to write the Bruce & Dick enneagram meta in my head.

"He's so determined to prove he isn't like Master Bruce it scares me. In their own way they are so similar that I thank heaven for the differences." - Alfred Pennyworth Batman 1940 #438

I've mentioned before that I use enneagram typing to characterize Bruce and Dick. like all personality typing, it's unscientific bogus. (this one is sold as a business tool lol.) but i find the types compelling.

first of all, their types

Bruce is an 8, the challenger or protector. an 8's ego is attached to the idea of vengeance—destruction of self or others out of a sense of injustice. if the person has a huge ego, has a deluded perception of the world, it is tied to the idea of vengeance. their "holy idea" is truth, which is basically a core value and potential. their trap is justice, which they think is the right path, but it will actually keep them stuck in their bullshit.

[Dick calls Bruce out on going too far as he's breaking down after Jason's death. Batman 1940 #439]

an 8's deepest fear is being controlled, harmed, or violated. their base desire is to be influential, self sufficient and protect themself. their temptation is to think that they are self sufficient.

like, you see why I like this for Bruce.

Bruce saw his parents being murdered and his reaction to that trauma was to control himself and create a powerful alternate ego that gets vengeance on Gotham's criminals and protects the innocent.

[Bruce appealing to family court to take in Dick. Batman 1940 #439]

at his worst, Bruce is a control freak who doesn't let anyone help him and has a warped sense of justice. so much emotional armor.

[Bruce possessed by Antithesis and lashing out at Dick, which Dick correctly identifies as a fear reaction. Teen Titans Year One #3]

at his best, Bruce is a strong leader, is willing to do what is right even at personal cost, wants to protect and help others fairly, and strives to create a better world.

[Bruce creating a victims advocacy program. Batman 1940 #217]

tl;dr Bruce is driven by fear of loss and compensates by controlling his world and protecting himself and others.

Dick is a 2, the helper or giver. 2's ego fixation is flattery, pleasing and giving to others in order to be liked. their "holy idea" is freedom/will; there's several interpretations of this but for Dick I see it as wanting others and himself to be free of metaphorical shackles and to fly. the 2's trap is also freedom: from having personal needs and needing others.

2's fear is being unlovable and their base desire is to be loved unconditionally. their temptation is to deny their own needs and be manipulative.

[Dick hiding his sadness as he leaves Wayne Manor for college. Batman 1940 #217]

[Hugo Strange psychoanalyzing Dick's relationship to Bruce. Batman Gotham Knights #11]

Dick is constantly pushing himself to the limit to be the perfect hero and mentor, and wants to help others but doesn't accept help himself. he maintains an image of being the bringer of light. I think being raised as a performer made him associate doing well and making people happy with love and family; after losing his parents he searched for that unconditional love from Bruce, being a hero, and romantic partners.

at his worst, he's prideful, and both ignores his own needs and sacrifices himself for others in order to get those needs met.

[Dick killing himself to save people in nuclear-bombed Bludhaven and feeling good about it. Nightwing 996 #116]

at his best, he is compassionate, helpful, parental, and warms the hearts of others.

tl;dr Dick is driven by fear of not having love and family, and compensates by caring for others and being perfect.

[Dick having a nightmare during a month's long mental breakdown. Nightwing 1996 #117]

you are correct: Bruce and Dick's personalities complement each other at their best and worse.

at their worst, Bruce is emotionally withholding and pushes Dick away. this is out of need to protect himself; any emotional intimacy or love is a threat because what if they die? Dick interprets this as not being good enough for Bruce's praise or a place by his side, and tries to be better. no matter how far gone Bruce is, Dick has to be the exceptional one who stays and loves him. the fact that Dick always comes back to him and gets under his skin makes Bruce lash out or become more controlling. so the cycle continues!

"That's what eats away at you at night—not just that you're forever in his shadow—but that you love him. That you're the loyal son who has never been allowed to truly help—never permitted to save him from himself." - Hugo Strange, Batman Gotham Knights #10

at their best, Bruce uses his own traumatic experience and leadership to better Dick's life. Dick is a ray of light for him. their fears are eased in relation to each other, they both help others and improve their world.

[Alfred remembers Dick early in his Robin career. Batman 1940 #438]

I think they have a lot to learn from each other. but they can also be deeply stuck in this dysfunctional cycle because they can both hold onto their negative delusions.

"I love Bruce. He's my family. But I couldn't bring him out of the past... I was sacrificing my own future. I don't want that for you... Trust me, Tim. At some point... you have to set yourself free." - Dick, Batman Urban Legends #10. demonstrates a healthy Dick's relation to an unhealthy Bruce.

[blueopinions49]

Healthy/Unhealthy Type 1

Healthy Social 1 

Rob Stark (1w9 so/sx)- In the search for a more fair and just Westeros. Maintains his anger in check and looks for morality in grounded and in bringing others up. 

Kitana (1w2 so/sp)- Depending on which timeline we are on we can see how she embodies the idealism of E1. In MK11 we see her in the search to unite outworld and restore honor to Edenia. In her arcade ending we see her restoring Edenia and forging a bright and fair future for outworld. 

Nakia (1w2 so/sp)- She subverts all of the stereotypes of E1. The enneagram 1 is known for their more “traditional” and restrictive views of moral however with Nakia we see a. fully integrated 1 to their 7. Her view of the world comes from a need to find joy and help others. 

Unhealthy Social 1 

Betty Warren (1w2 so/sx)- The need to maintain a status quo were her and others suffer due to what's moral and right seems to be her core desire in the movie. She changes eventually and decides to pursue a career where she can channel her rage into productive actions. 

Abuela Madrigal (1w2 so/sp)- While I understand fully why she is the way she is, her continuing the generational cycle of trauma instead of deciding to talk about the past leads her to stifling others. Neglecting Maribel and banishing Bruno. Her eventual change in the end promises a better future for everyone in the family. 

Zaheer (1w9 so/sp)-In search for full liberation of the nation he ends up indulging in full anarchism. His desire to see the world as free and just sets him on a path of destruction. Probably the best example of an E1 who has fully disintegrated into 4. Fully detached from a grounded sense of morality.

Healthy Self-Preservation 1 

Elijah Mikaelson (1w9 sp/so)- His desire to preserve his own sense of morality always comes into question when it comes to Klaus. The desire to see a fully redeemed Klaus can cause him allot of problems however, he always is just in his decision making always looking for the best results for everyone. 

Nancy Thompson (1w2 sp/so)- While I consider typing her as an SO6 too her desire seems to fall more on E1. She has a strong sense of morality and justice. Always in the look to help other whiteout letting her own sense of self righteousness get in the way.

Matt Murdock (1w9 sp/so)- Yes, he has a whole struggle with his sense of morality and defines good and bad however, Matt is generally a great example of an Sp1 who struggles with his idealism or perfection and morality and its realistic applications in the real world. 

Unhealthy Self-Preservation 1

Shirley Crain (1w2 sp/so)- Branded as “Perfect Shirley” for good reason.  Shirley is complete denial of reality and constantly repressing her true emotions makes her act as morally superior than her siblings. While not deciding to deal with her inner turmoil. 

Julien Slowik (1w9 sp/so)-Full detachment of reality and embraces the worst traits of the sp1. He choses to make his own personal believes others problems and internalizes his rage. Eventually channeling it into self destruction. 

Nina Sawyer (1w9 sp/so)-Her struggle to integrate towards 7 turns into a full downward spiral were identity and her perception of reality go out the window. Her need to be both the black swan and white swan end up tearing her sense of self apart. 

Healthy Sexual 1

Biscuit Krueger (1w2 sx/so)-Perfection through interpersonal connections seems to be her main drive. When she becomes Killua’s and Gon’s mentor she help them expand on their already developed powers. Using the base knowledge of their abilities so each of them could expand on them. 

Batman (1w9 sx/sp)-His struggle to define himself as a symbol for Gotham can be seen as unhealthy sometimes. However I believe he is closer to a healthy person with his own personal struggles. However as time goes on in the comics we see a Bruce who is able to foster community and have excellent children.

Kate Sheffield (1w2 sx/so)- Strong sense of morality and a desire to see things change makes Kate a force to be reckoned with. She is able to express her anger and discomforts in ways that aren't damaging or hurtful to others. 

Unhealthy Sexual 1 

Ra’s Al ghul (1w9 sx/so)-In look for a true successor he ends up exploiting both his  daughter and grandchild. His believe that there is a need for the league of assassins to make the world better place is also kind of disjointed. 

Mona Wasserman (1w2 sx/sp)- I considered typing her as an SX2 however I believe her need to maintain Bo near her and constantly demean her fell more into SX1 traits. She is the good guy in the relationship and her overbearing nature is but a need. Even contracting the only person who he has had an emotional connection with.

Tywin Lannister (1w9 sx/sp)- Perfection through his children makes him hyper obsessive man who will deny reality and neglect those same children emotionally if it means it's what's “better” for them. His cruelty towards Tyrion knew no bounds.

[writing--references]

Bucks Pocket State Park. Grove Oak, AL.

[lowcountry-gothic]

At least twice now I've got nearly to where I'd envisioned this story ending, only to realize it doesn't feel finished. The feeling of "oh wait, there's still more to do." That's unusual for me. Usually by the time I start writing I can see ahead pretty well to the end (it's how to get from beginning to end that's usually my problem). Probably because I don't understand Type Three as well as I would like. I definitely think I'll need a few Threes to read over this when I've finished the draft and tell me what feels right and what needs to be reconsidered/rewritten/rethought entirely.

[kitttttchaos]

Ik people type Adam as an enneagram 3, but I think he’s an 8

8s want freedom. That’s their core desire. Autonomy, and control over their own lives. “The most important thing to Adam Parrish, though, had always been free will. The ability to be his own master.” He fights with Gansey because Gansey, in his efforts to be a better person and be worthy of all he has, infringes on Adam’s free will. Adam doesn’t care that Gansey doesn’t mean to do that, because free will—at least at the beginning—is more important to him than anything else. It’s all he has, really, because it’s all he earned. In that regard, I could see how people would type him as a 3w4, with the idea of earning your worth and the inferiority complex. But for Adam, I don’t think those complexes effect how he presents himself, like they do for Gansey. Adam is always Adam, he never pretends to be anything else for any reason—except less angry.

I think he’s an 8w9. 8w9s, in my experience (this is not me projecting lol) tend to be more compassionate than typical 8w7s. They see the things that controlling 8w7s do and how that impacts others, and they completely avoid doing those things. Adam, though he gets angry all the time, detests people who blow up in rage, like his father, and in the earlier books, Ronan. He values being calm, almost as if his anger is a weakness. He lets himself be controlled by Cabeswater for the good of his friends, but heaven forbid he let himself be controlled by Gansey, because Gansey is associated with all the things Adam hates. 8s, a lot of times, tend to build up a lot of resentment, and especially 8w9s who don’t unleash their anger all at once. Adam’s arc is about realizing justice, in a sense. He has this idea of what’s right and wrong in the beginning, but it doesn’t pertain to his own actions. But as the story continues, that justice becomes more clear, and Adam is able to forgive his friends for being a part of something he resents, and serve and love them, without the fear of being taken advantage of.

Jeez, every time I read these books I learn more about myself…

[kaleirots]

genshin writers love the bible brainrot.

rambling notes focusing on the recent bible references in the fontaine archon quest, revolving around childe.

if you're a lore or childe stan you might enjoy it.

major 4.2 spoilers!

The rule of three is widely used in Genshin, to the extent that the Narzissenkreuz acknowledge it to be an ancient principle. Childe was trapped in the Abyss for three months, or three days. The enneagram shown in every domain combines the Law of Three and the Law of Seven. There were three descenders until the traveler arrived, breaking the cycle. To an extent, some boss battles and archon quests come in three acts.

The bible also uses the rule of three - the three patriarchs, the three kings, then later the three wise men. Jesus is denied three times and asks Peter if he loves him three times. The Holy Trinity. Omne Trium Perfectum.

Childe IS the rule of three. He has three names, three forms, three powers and most recently, he spends three patches tracking and promptly brawling with the all-devouring narwhal, which uses three elemental types. During phase two of the boss battle, the narwhal eats the player and a shadow knight, similar to Childe's Foul Legacy form, appears to fight the traveller. The boss drop "lightless silk string" is shaped like the Ichthus, a symbol that represents Jesus Christ.

---

In Jonah and the whale, Jonah disobeys God before his boat is caught in a storm. He is thrown overboard in repentance, assuming he is being punished for his actions but is swallowed by a whale. Inside the whale, Jonah laments that he has been "banished from gods sight" after disobeying and abandoning his God. He is offered a second chance, which he uses to bring salvation to the ninevites, who repent and avoid divine wrath.

According to The Knave, Childe said he was travelling to fontaine on vacation. This is directly following the erasure of Scaramouche from Irminsul. After bumping into the traveller, he acknowledges his strange mood and abandons his vision. This hides him from celestia, subverting the prophecy. He follows the call of the abyss which leads him to reunite with the all-devouring narwhal, taking the opportunity to fight with it... which ultimately, leads to Fontaine's survival.

I once ventured deep into the abyss and came face-to-face with an enormous beast. I don't know its name, all I know is the sight of it chilled me to the bone. But mark my words, one day I will march back in there and behead that beast, and you, comrade, will be my witness!

(don't forget, visions are likely celestias eyes. their original name in CN and other languages literally translates to Eye of God.)

---

Revelations mentions two divinely appointed "witnesses" [revelation 11:3-12] who are initially seen as heroes, before being turned on, shunned by the public and sacrificed. you could argue that the abyss sibling has already ventured this path, being friends with the gods before siding with the abyss during the cataclysm (apocalypse).

While attempting to convince furina to tell the truth, the traveler refers to themself as a Witness. as an outworlder, they are immune to irminsul and thus able to remember both Rukkhadevata and Scaramouche. It is implied that the abyss is also unaffected by celestia.

The abyss sibling asks the traveller to witness the story, hinting at the time loop and inevitability of Celestias will. Zhongli acknowledges this in his second story quest and asks the traveller to remember what Teyvat forgets.

There are many events of ages past... many secrets that lie hidden. They have been eroded by time, forgotten by the people... abandoned. But you are capable of finding them and bringing them into the light. Those who come to witness, will witness. Those who are born to remember, will remember.

---

According to Daniel 12:12, there are 45 "extra" days after the anti-christ is defeated by a returned jesus christ, in which judgement is declared upon certain nations... the traveller is sentenced to 45 days in prison before Childe and the whale return from the abyss, allowing the hydro dragon to bring judgement upon fontaine.

Fontaine is forgiven by the hydro dragon and the city floods in order to cleanse it of the original sin. before the waters recede, many citizens are rescued by a giant boat... an ark, you could say.

[vampirepunks]

Sam Porter Bridges' MBTI + Enneagram Typology (pt. 2)

MBTI: ISTP (Ti-Se-Ni-Fe)

Enneagram: 9w8

Instinctual Variant: sp/sx

Tritype: 963

(part one: mbti deep dive)

(Higgs analysis)

As an ISTP, Sam is not naturally at home in enneagram 9, which makes his character all the more interesting. ISTPs are more commonly associated with enneagram 5, 6, and sometimes 8. While ISTP 9 is hardly a rare sight, this enneagram type does modify ISTP traits due to conflicting cognition and instincts in a few areas. Namely, in the social and emotional spheres. ISTP is innately emotionally withdrawn, preferring to remain detached where possible, while 9 seeks connection. Appropriate, no?

Enneagram 9 Overview Basic Fear: Of loss and separation Basic Desire: To maintain their inner stability and peace of mind Fixation: Indolence Trap: Seeking harmony Passion: Sloth

The first fundamental thing to understand about type 9, is that this personality's position at the "crown" of the enneagram is appropriately symbolic, as 9 wants to be connected to everything. In many ways... 9 is a bridge. (*sad trumpet noise as no one laughs*)

Fear of loss and separation makes perfect sense after Sam's loss of Lucy and his daughter, but of course he was old enough when that happened for his personality to have already developed plenty (21 IIRC) so that incident merely cemented his 9 fix further. Gotta dig deeper to uncover the original source of his issues. (In enneagram theory, it's always psychological or sociological, usually both.) Bridget was largely absent in raising Sam, taking on a detached, avoidant-disorganized parenting style, rarely touching him or spending time with him from the sounds of it, while his closest relationship was with Amelie, who by her divine nature is inherently detached even if she doesn't want to be, separate from the rest of the world. Being closest to a person who doesn't exist in the land of the living is bound to take a toll on a child's psyche, as Lucy reasoned, in a... roundabout way, while assessing his aphenphosmphobia. But let's go back even further. The very start, let's say? Sam was taken from his mother's womb, shoved in a BB pod, connected to and detached from her at the same time, existing between the world of the living and the world of the dead, disconnected from all of it. And so he remained, as a repatriate, an inhabitant of the in-between, forevermore. Lost his life, lost his connection to the natural cycle of life and death, lost his father. He's known nothing but loss and separation since he began. And here's the thing: BB memories stick around, they're just repressed. That leaves a mark.

Enneagram 9 is a universalist who wants to be part of something--everything, ideally--seeking harmony with oneself and one's environment, while stubbornly, paradoxically, asserting independence from it. Thus, 9 is too adaptable. They are resigned, generous, habit-bound, soft-spoken, open-minded, and inclusive. Enneagram 9 goes along to get along. Just like 7, type 9 craves attention, but instead of demanding it, they work to earn it. Again, I have beef with Naranjo but he had some really good type summaries.

"The sense of worth as well as the sense of existence of type 9 is satisfied, not through applause, but rather, through vicarious participation, a living through others: lost identity becomes an identity by symbiosis with family, nation, party, club, team, and so on."

Self-Preservation 9

When sloth invades the self-preservation instinct, the result is... perplexing, antithetical to the instinct's very drive. The sp9 is a personality that doesn't know what they need, so they take the path of least resistance wherever possible and struggle to commit. sp9 is inclined to pursue their most basic survival, but they lack the inner spiritual awareness to know where to begin. This is a passion to sate hunger, to satisfy an intangible, all-consuming yearning, finding comfort in the simple things to stave off deeper reflecting in order to figure out what that longing is for. sp9s crave nurture and safety because, "there is no memory of maternal love in the [sp9's] vocabulary." One cannot identify a need for that which they've never known.

sp9 is repressed, stubborn, reactive, emotionally insecure, voracious without the inertia to act upon desire, conflict-averse, shy, prone to procrastination, impulsive, self-sacrificial, and rebellious. However, Conversely, this 9 is also genuine, kind, easy to please, and highly understanding. sp9 is a paradox, both distant and attached. Higgs sums this part of Sam up very well in observing (novel quote) that Sam "found meaning in survival by connecting people to people without connecting to them himself."

sp9 sees danger in emotion, fears losing control, fears what might be discovered inside oneself by feeling too deeply, and thus sp9 masks intensity with passiveness and self-stifling habits. sp9 needs to know their true inner self but is held back by strong anxiety that they won't be able to cope with who they really are, so they live in fear of being, achieving, and experiencing "too much." Thus, sp9 lives via an awkward sway between indulgence and asceticism, neglecting their own needs in a way similar to the behavior of enneagram 2. Sam is both touch-starved and touch-phobic, longs for connection and fears intimacy, seeks keen understanding and avoids the deeper truth, acts to serve others and resents his role as savior, resists the status quo and does what he's told regardless. He manages to convince himself that walking across the literal entire country to rebuild America and rescue Amelie is, somehow, the easy way out, easier than saying no, easier than taking responsibility for his own beliefs. Hating Higgs is easier than admitting he wants to know him, hating Bridget is easier than admitting the hurt she caused him, hating Bridges is easier than acknowledging his grief. When confronted with inner truth and deep feeling, sp9 runs away and covers it all up with distractions, passive spite, and self-denial. This personality is always on the defense, because going the offense would require taking ownership of their feelings.

sp9 buries everything negative deep, deep down inside of themselves, never to be touched, never to be spoken of, never to escape the void it creates within. Instead of dealing with his grief after losing his wife and daughter, Sam threw himself fully into his work as a porter, lost himself in the simplicity of routine, and self-isolated in the extreme to avoid ever having to talk about it. He made himself into a haunted house with the doors locked tight and the windows boarded up. Not dead, not alive, just existing in the world while living separate of it, making himself invisible by hiding between the lines.

sp9 experiences the world like the flow of a river, going with it as a passive observer rather than an active participant. The voice inside screams, "I want," howls, "I need," and sp9 ignores it, taking what they're given, afraid to show it affects them. Sam is a bridge, static and unmoving as the world flows around and beneath him. In that, there is an illusion of harmony through inaction. Just like sx7, sp9 is not of this world, but he wants to be. So, sp9 Sam simply endures until he can endure no more. A significant difference between sx7 and sp9 is that until confronting themselves, the latter will never choose themselves above another, never accept that their dreams are important, never embrace their desires. sp9 makes choices on impulse and compulsion, because "choosing supposes the need to take a position, to place oneself, and this would mean being aware of an “I” that desires."

Sexual 9 (secondary)

Sexual 9's yearning becomes that of a need for another to define themselves by, someone else to facilitate identity, asking a partner to tell them who they are. At the same time, it is a total loss of the self through symbiotic merging with the other; there is no "me," only "us." The other becomes a compass to direct their heart and mind. This instinct lends both patience and lust to the sp9 personality, a tolerance for others and an intolerance for the self, a burning desire cloaked in that same self-effacing asceticism.

sx9s are more prone to acting out and lashing out, resisting authority from all others besides a trusted partner. sx9 finds peace in the nurture of being possessed by someone else, allowing themselves to fall back completely into blind faith in said individual. sx9 cannot tolerate being alone.

Lucy: "[Sam] needs someone he can be close to, be intimate with[...] Someone to whom he can reveal the whole of himself, someone who'll devote themselves to him."

The sp/sx 9 is a peacemaker, compensating for their lack of inner harmony by creating harmony outside themselves, building up others' relationships to vicariously sate their desire for their own, addressing their hatred of conflict by settling others' conflicts for them. sp/sx 9s are also defensive of their own personal space; in general, they don't like to be touched, which of course goes triple for aphenphosmphobic Sam. The sp/sx 9's conflict is that of stubborn resistance to change and authority versus docile agreement and altruism. This is a personality that says "ugh, fine" when asked for something. The accommodating, empathetic spirit of this subtype exists in contrast to their drive for freedom and independence, which is especially true of the ISTP sp/sx 9. This is someone who will agree to weekend plans they don't want to attend and then go out of their way to achieve a good enough excuse not to go. That is, if their sense of duty and noble self-sacrifice doesn't force them to go anyway. sp/sx 9 experiences profound shame, denying that deep emotion is safe and permissible, often due to past experiences of being made to feel ashamed by authority figures; in Sam's case, this appears to have been a teacher that impressed upon him a sense of guilt for being a repatriate, but more on that when discussing his emotional center in enneagram 3.

8 wing

The 9w1 is among the most passive personalities of the entire enneagram, but by contrast, the strong aggressive pull of enneagram 8 draws the 9w8 away from this, creating a solid backbone and a significant stubbornness.

Most people think of enneagram 9 as "very zen," describing them as chill, easygoing, and aloof, which in the 9w8, is an illusion brought on by their self-repressive tendencies. 9 is rooted in the behavioral triad, based in a foundation of anger. Type 1 idealizes and directs their rage, type 8 embraces and expresses their rage, and type 9 denies and rejects their rage. This repression causes 9's anger to build, and build, and build, until it inevitably explodes outwards. <- That's a video of all of Sam's dialogue during the fistfight with Higgs. Note that none of his grievances have anything to do with Higgs; it all relates to Bridges, to Amelie and Bridget, to his childhood, to society at large. In that moment, Higgs is just a target for the decades of buried rage and resentment Sam has been holding onto all along. All that hatred overflows and spills out the moment he's pushed past his limit and given a willing target. And Higgs just... takes it. Sam gets the outlet he needed... at the cost of Higgs' poor sweet face. In the book, Sam broke his nose and beat him to the point that he could no longer see by the time Sam pulled him out of the tar. So yeah, notably not "zen," especially in light of the 8 wing's influence.

Enneagram 8's primary concern is preventing being controlled or influenced by others. They're total anarchists of their own autonomy (hiii I'm so/sx 8) and thus, 9's intense difficulty with saying "no" struggles under the anti-social traits borrowed from type 8 and the self-reliant nature of the ISTP. In most circumstances, the frustration this creates is expressed through moodiness, passive-aggression, stubbornness, and quiet discontent. When the 9w8 can no longer contain their anger, it boils over with devastating force. See above video.

On the bright side, the pull of 8 gives the sp/sx 9 a beautiful depth of passion and a heightened potential to embrace their own intensity, making them fierce protectors, devoted parents, dynamic lovers, and loyal friends. 8 traits lend the 9 personality an unshakeable courage in the face of adversity. When it comes down to it, Sam doesn't falter or hesitate, he charges ahead and stands tall, willing to fight for what he cares about. See: Sam shielding Lou with his own body when Higgs shot at her (angel, pls don't, that was uncool), feeling "righteous" when he fought the BT in Port Knot City, his steady resolve in the final act of the game, and the way he knelt between Die-Hardman and Cliff with his hand held up to the barrel of the gun when reliving his BB memories. Sam is powerful.

Secondary 6 fix, and why Sam is not a core 6

Now, PDB almost unanimously agrees that Sam is enneagram 6, and I'll die on the hill of saying they're dead wrong. Sam is the very embodiment of the kind of trauma that creates a type 9 and he exemplifies some of the best traits of what a 9 is capable of. (Also, I'm married to an sp/sx 9, I'm good and familiar, but I digress, I won't rely on anecdotal evidence. I can back this one up.)

Every enneagram type has a path of decay and a path of growth. Under stress, a given personality deteriorates along their decay path, and in times of happiness and self-reflection, they improve towards their growth path. Enneagram 9 decays towards 6 and grows towards 3.

Type 6 is the heart of the fear triad and is therefore the most fearful of all types, anxious and paranoid in many ways, living in terms of securing their own survival, especially the sp6. 6 is flighty and scattered, seeking assurances and security from outside themselves. They find comfort in routines and contingency plans, which they share with type 9. However, the way 6 handles this fear is direct and honest; they acknowledge it to themselves and move away from whatever threat they're facing, protecting themselves by whatever means necessary. Type 9, on the other hand, abstracts from fear and responds to it with stone-faced rage due to their basis in the anger triad. If Sam were a 6, he wouldn't have had a problem saying "no" to Bridges, he would have been out of there as soon as they started experimenting on him without medical consent and boxing him in, especially given that he's an ISTP. ISTP 6 has few issues walking away from a situation they don't want to be in. Type 9, however, often lacks the fortitude of self-affirmation to do so.

Sam shows many 6-adjacent behaviors throughout the game, in his displays of fear, doubt, skepticism, and general aversion, due to the fact that he's in a state of stress, actively deteriorating towards 6 and has a secondary 6 fix in his tritype.

6 is defined by uncertainty, which is a natural pairing for ISTP's primary Ti. The passion of 6 is fear, and their fixation is cowardice. They are security-oriented and risk-avoidant, seeking external guidance and support, approaching the world in a critical lens, questioning everything and searching for evidence and insight before forming conclusions and taking action. Sam displays positive 6 traits through responsibility, strategic thinking, and loyalty.

A distinguishing feature of type 6 is their nature as team players. Like sp7, type 6 finds safety within a "tribe," endearing themselves to a group to satisfy their survivalist instincts and secure protection for themselves. They do so from a basis of logic, determining what a given person or group needs, contrasting it with their own needs, and finding a role to fulfill accordingly. This is where they're most comfortable: being invaluable in they space they occupy. They're similar to type 9 in this affinity for group belonging, but they often lack the people-pleasing tendencies of type 9 in favor of a more pragmatic view about their place in the world. Type 6 prefers to know what's expected of them, whereas type 9 quickly gets lost in uncertainty and accordingly exhausts themself through doubts about whether they fit in others' lives.

Type 6 is mentally insecure and type 9 is emotionally, physically insecure; 9's anxiety drives them towards bodily comforts. 6 couldn't force themselves to stop caring if they tried, nor deny their attachments, but 9 finds it easier to abstract from attachments and achieve a state of being comfortably numb to their emotions. 6 can't do this. Herein, we see Sam. Sam found peace with the idea of the world ending, and at the same time, personal meaning in doing his best to save it, embracing the value of fighting for a little more time, "so we can say we had a good run, that we lived." Type 6 wouldn't be so easily satisfied with such a notion, and would call it surrendering or giving up, but type 9 knows there's harmony in acceptance of the way things are as long as you try.

Tertiary 3 fix

Sam's dominant center is behavioral, in 9, his secondary center is mental, in 6, and his tertiary center is emotional, in 3. With this 963 tritype that matches 9's paths of growth and stress, Sam is what we call "true to type."

The passion of 3 is deceit and their fixation is vanity. This is not a literal deceit, but a symbolic one; type 3 deceives themselves about their worth and deceives others by presenting the world with the best picture of themselves that they can imagine. Type 3 fears that they have no intrinsic value within themselves, that they are worthless apart from their material achievements. They long to feel worthwhile, accepted, and desirable. This fixation with external recognition is similar to neighboring emotional 2.

"The characteristic mood of enneatype 3 is one of neutrality or feeling control—where only “correct feelings” are acknowledged and expressed."

This shares 9's tendencies towards self-censorship and repression. As an emotional/heart center type, 3 is based in shame. Shame in perceived deficiency, shame in one's own neediness, shame in all things that aren't measurable accomplishments.

Type 3 is ambitious, hardworking, rigid, capable, and efficient. They can do whatever they set their minds to, and if they can't, they'll destroy themselves trying anyways. 3 has a sarcastic edge, high expectations of themselves and others, and a need to develop and live up to an idealized self-image of what they could be, rather than embracing what they are. Enneagram 3 pursues attention through service, proving themselves worthy to others and basking in the praise it earns. Through this behavior, 3 compensates for imagined inner worthlessness.

Sam carries a heavy burden of guilt and self-imposed shame. He remains conflicted about being a repatriate and considers himself someone who "owes" the world everything he has to give. At the same time, his ISTP nature and sp/sx 9 fix creates a resentment for his role as presumed savior. In the novelization, when George Baton thanks him for his work, there's that pang of guilt, as he deems himself unworthy of the compliment because he's taken on the journey out of self-preservation, out of a desire to be free, "in this for himself." It doesn't matter if he actually helped, in his mind, doing the right thing isn't enough; he has to do the right thing for the right reasons. Another example is shown in the first time he moves through BT territory with Lou, and finds himself afraid, rationalizing that he hasn't earned the right to feel fear. Here's his inner monologue:

"You’re so conceited. How could someone who can’t die possibly know the fear that BTs bring? That’s what was driven into Sam when he still worked for Bridges."

His former instructor drilled a sense of responsibility into him as a repatriate, creating the idea that he wasn't allowed to experience fear or doubt because he had this rare gift. This shame is made worse by the fact that he resents that very "gift," seeing it as a curse, as he's "immortal in a cruel sense." Sam hates being a repatriate. Another excerpt:

"He would keep walking until all of humanity had disappeared from the Earth. Eventually, his body would wear down, and once he had delivered the last piece of cargo to the last human being, maybe then he would finally be able to rest in peace. It was all just a step toward the death he longed for."

And another:

"It hadn’t even been for something altruistic like saving mankind. The only reason he had taken part in this ridiculous plan was because he wanted to save Amelie and Lou. And underpinning all that was nothing but a selfish desire of wanting to prove his own self-worth as a repatriate. He just wanted to know why he had been born this way. In that sense, he was also a parasite, just one on America and this expedition."

Get the picture? In many ways, Sam is Christ in the garden of Gethsemane, pleading, "father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me." Sam never wanted to be anyone's savior, has no desire to be a grand hero, finding small comfort in the one-on-one moments where he helps someone because he decided to, but instead, he's had the world betting on him since Bridget first chose him as a sacrificial lamb, when she decided he was special, and stole him from his family. "Why me?" he asks. Mother Mary, did you know your womb was also a grave? Sam was robbed of his chance at a normal life, handed down impossibly high expectations, and thereby developed a complex that he had to live up to all that and more. Where Higgs open-heartedly made the choice to "offer [his] soul to this world," Sam never had a different option. In the above video of his fight with Higgs, one of the lines Sam says is, "He ain't human." Because that's how people have treated him; with the entitlement shown to the detached divine. Just like Will Graham in Hannibal, Sam also says, "Wind him up, watch him go." Higgs constructed his own performance, while Sam's mask was forced upon him, so what could he do but dance as expected? What was there, but to march forth unto sacrifice, all while hating himself for hating it?

Such is the burden of a messiah.

Conclusion

The ISTP personality is significantly softened by the instincts and needs of Enneagram 9, as 9 traits uplift the potential of the inferior Fe function. 9s are more approachable, friendly, emotionally intelligent, and empathetic than most other ISTPs. ISTP sp/sx 9s are skilled negotiators, opinionated individualists, and good listeners (oh boy, do people ever love to talk at Sam). Sam's soft side is well-guarded but significant, as he's sentimental, passionate, loyal, and sensitive. Sam is a man that wants, nay, needs a soft place to land at the end of the day, a partner who understands and protects him (somebody who doesn't let him run away when his instincts tell him to), the freedom to be himself and pursue adventure according to his whims, a group of close friends who give him both support and space, and a sense of belonging in the world as a worthy individual who has value simply in being himself, appreciated for who he is rather than solely what he can provide.

Now that I've written this, I have ceased to be normal about Sam Porter. Thank you.

Tag list: @goldenbridgessss @pylonium

[ghostlyscenc]

( jacob elordi .  cis man .  he/him )  - the  new  york  city  resident , holden newman ,  was  seen  sporting  bruno cucinelli  on  park  avenue  today .  the  twenty six  year  old  is  a  journalist  in  the  city  &  has  been  here  for eight years .  since  being  here  ,  they  have  been  told  to  be  cynical  ,  but  also compassionate ,  who  really  knows  !  according  to  nycslam  ,   he has been covering up certain unlawful activities that his mother's family has engaged in .  anyways  ,  guess  we'll  find  out  for  ourselves  !

full biography • playlist • pinterest

I. STATS

full name: holden theodore newman

gender & pronouns: cis-male, he/him

age & birthday: 26, april 13th, 1997

occupation: journalist

time in nyc: 8 years

II. BACKGROUND

born in new canaan, ct. his mother was a broke socialite (not really broke, she still was richer than the average person but ya know nowhere as rich as before) and a doctor.

back to his mom, she belongs to a very known and old family in the us (think the vanderbilts bc yes that’s the family i based this from) but holden doesn’t really talk about them and really doesn’t know that side of his family well.

his dad, au contraire, had humble beginnings and worked hard to pay his way through college and med school. they met in 1994, at the hospital he worked at and well they fell in love and holden was born 3 years later.

was the perfect mix of his parents’ personalities. he share his mom’s love for art and his father’s thirst for knowledge. overall, he was very curious and sensible kid.

not the most committed student. he was always living in his own world, dreaming of the worlds he read in books or watched in films. however, he was naturally smart and so he did good at school.

death tw: his father passed away when he was eleven years old and from that moment on it was as if something within him died as well.

holden and his mom drifted apart after that since none of them knew how to share their grief with the other.

his mom began spending a looooot of money. so much that made holden anxious and he used to go to bed thinking about the family’s finances which, ya know, no thirteen year old should be concerned about that.

matured very fast, pretty much missed his teenage years and couldn’t wait to go to college and idk being thirty, flirty and thriving.

attended university in columbia where he majored in literature.

holden always loved writing and researching. he started in high school and later decided to study literature and journalism in college. after graduating, he tried to get a job with the new york times but didn't succeed.

struggling to become an on-air reporter, holden asked a friend for help, and they made a fake press pass. he sneaked into important events, recorded news reports, and sent them to networks in the hope of getting a break. this led to an internship at cnn. in the last three years, he moved up quickly and is now a reporter and writes a column for the new york times.

III. PERSONALITY

if you are into personality tests and all that stuff here’s the tea: intj, type 6 (enneagram), type a, phlematic (temperament), lawful good, aries, ravenclaw.

cynical idealist, skeptical by nature, covertly hopeless romantic, walking paradox, inadvertently tactless.

has a very quixotic personality and even if he tries to conceal it, he still daydreams a lot.

he is still very sensible not even life can take that away from him so please no one cries in front him or he will leave so he doesn’t cry and start a vicious cycle of crying. no one wants that.

a worrier. he worries about everyyything and he just can’t help it which makes him a bit uptight.

very organized, i guess some could say, he’s a bit neurotic.

competitive so don’t invite him to trivia night

wouldn’t say he’s shy but he is indeed very reserved and rarely talks about himself.

extremely critical and most of his criticism is directed at himself but he can be a bit judgmental but never with malice.

dry, dark and sarcastic sense of humor that sometimes is not welcomed. especially because he’s very tactless so he doesn’t have that comedic timing so it comes across as questionable. the type that makes him go like “it’s a joke btw” and people just awkwardly laugh and walk away.

actually fun to be around when he feels comfortable or stress free aka once a year.

IV. PLOTS IDEAS

they’re closing the bar and they want us to leave: holden doesn’t even know how he became ‘friends’ with this person as they don’t have many interests in common. somehow, when this person gets too drunk to drive calls holden to help them and since he can’t really say no, he always complies.  with nico

i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye: he struggles to keep close relationships as he is the kind of friend who will leave you on read for weeks or decline plans every weekend. however this person has always been there, even when it seems he’s trying to push them away. maybe they haven’t said it out loud but actions speak louder than words and these two are best friends. with grey

do you have the time to listen to me whine?: i guess his mom gave him that name because somehow she knew he would like to complain about many things. so this person could be the one who is there to tolerate all his rambling and at the end give him some advice. holden considers them good friends as he usually is not this chatty unless he feels comfortable around someone. 

we locked eyes from a distance, so close but i missed it: i wouldn’t say holden has a crush on this person but he’s definitely intrigued by them. they run into each other often but either holden avoids the conversation or he keeps it short even when he’d rather do the opposite. 

they’ve been sayin’ you’re sophisticated: he has tried to keep this as a secret, to the extent of lying about where he grew up. maybe this person met holden back when he lived in the us or their family knew holden’s mom. idk the details but hopefully you get the idea. with yesenia

school yard conversations taken to heart: he grew up mostly in connecticut but after his father passed away he and his mother moved back for a couple of years to new york. maybe they went to the same school and idk connection from the past pretty much.

do you know what it means when you think on a screen?: pretty much they matched on a dating app and they’ve been talking for some time but they haven’t really met in person yet. it’s not really romantic but they have a connection (could become romantic tho depends on chemistry) with yildiz

the devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me: while he’s not a social butterfly, in the past year he has formed a small group of friends and he feels comfortable around them to let them see more of his personality.

i wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking as we moved together in the dark: maybe it all started as a hook up and it evolved to a friends with benefits sort of situation. maybe the other person started to get feelings but to holden is was purely physical. he tried to force feelings for this person but it simply wasn’t there and now they ended up in bad terms.

i know your heart belongs to someone you’ve yet to meet: maybe they dated a few years ago (we can work out the logistics) and he was very into this person and thought it would become a serious thing but then he moved to london and the distance made him realize that his feelings were not as strong.

right where you left me: the opposite of the previous idea. pretty much the roles reversed and it’s them who left holden with really no explanation.

everybody wonders what it would be like to love you: holden had a massive crush on this person. sometimes they talked but he never told them anything. he might still have some feelings for them but it’s nothing but the leftovers of an unresolved crush. with eloise

you wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody: this could be a friendship that could turn into something more kinda connection. it could be angsty idk. but pretty much this is someone that wants to get to know holden or at least become friends but he keeps putting these walls between them even if he really enjoys their company.

friends don’t get chills with every accidental touch: they’ve been very good friends for some time and they are comfortable with each other, so comfortable that it seems there’s something else there. with moira