#entiendo ese sentimiento

[tortademaracuya]

Se que es lo más normal del mundo pero a veces pienso en como tengo ahora un grupo de amigas que no les importa que pingo me pase en la cabeza o me identifique como y me dan ganas de llorar

[buscandonuevasnoches]

¿Cómo es que siempre termino metida con la misma clase de persona?

¿Cómo es que siempre estoy lidiando con el mismo problema?

¿Qué es lo que no estoy viendo, lo que no estoy aprendiendo?

[02mila]

.

[evagora]

que ondaa,, algún mexicano que me pueda explicar que significa "me la pelan" y cómo lo puedo traducir al inglés?? no le confío a google. sinceramente: una argentina que está desde hace como dos semanas traduciendo un clip y se quiere pegar un tiro

[dandelyle]

here is another long rant from your local hopeless romantic

no entiendo por qué personas dicen cosas que no significan, o por qué no significan lo que dicen. el único objetivo de lenguaje es compartir ideas y sentimientos. por qué dirías algo si no realmente lo crees?

es una cosa mentir a alguien que podría hacerte daño si sabría la verdad, cómo el gobierno o tus padres o tu jefe, pero por qué harías eso a alguien que te quiere? un amigo o alguien así? es más sencillo ser honesto y sincero. y cuando estás honesto y sincero, podés encontrar más de las cosas que hacerte feliz.

siempre he sentido que falto algo que es natural para otros. tengo que pensar muy fuerte en lo que la gente dice para ver lo que realmente significa. todo lo que quiero es no tener que investigar lo que me dicen. quiero tomarte a tus palabras, pero si hago eso, va a hacerme daño porque nadie dice lo que significa.

bromas vuelen sobre mi cabeza. no siempre entiendo cuando alguien está diciendo algo maleducado a mi tampoco. y a menos que alguien mi dice directamente, no voy a saber si estamos amigos o conocidos, mucho menos si alguien tiene sentimientos para mi. deseo que era más simple y fácil hacer amigos o relaciones. no tiene que ser complicado. podríamos elegirnos y decidir hacer algo juntos.

pero al mismo tiempo, soy una persona muy intensa. tengo emociones fuertes, y eso siempre ha sido un problema para mi. lo mucho que no entiendo las motivaciones de otras personas, tampoco existe gente que puede aguantarme. siempre tengo una tapa en mis sentimientos e emociones porque si no hiciera eso, sería más solo que ya estoy. a veces me siento un extraterrestre.

para mi, es muy fácil tener sentimientos para alguien. si alguien me muestra que le importo, si toma tiempo para hablar conmigo, si pasamos ratos juntos, es probable que me guste. no tengo miedo de tomar el primer paso. por eso, he sentido muchos rechazos. está bien. entiendo que no soy el gusto de todos.

pero deseo que podría parar de hacer esto. justo porque estoy acostumbrado a rechazo no significa que no estoy cansado de eso. porque sí estoy cansado. donde está esa persona que va a estar allá y sincero conmigo? que puede aguantar lo fuerte que siento para todo, todo el tiempo? de hecho, si no es demasiado pedir, quiero alguien que más que solo aguantar mi modo de sentir, realmente le gusta eso. existe alguien que quiera alguien más que es intenso todo el tiempo? no estoy seguro si mi intensidad es un enfermo mental o si es solo un característico normal de mi, pero estoy seguro que a nadie le gusta. osea, nadie que ya conozco.

y lo más último es solo uno en una lista muy larga.

[a-lexia11]

Friendships and Sleepover (meeting in Barcelona Part 2)

Alexia Putellas x reader

Words: around 9k

Warning:a tiny bit of angst,fluffy.

Part 1 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

“¡¿Qué?! ¿Eres la chica por la que ha estado deprimida durante semanas?!” (What?! You're the girl she's been depressed about for weeks?!) she exclaimed, surprised.

——

“¿Ella habló de mí?” (She talked about me?) I asked, surprised. It shocked me because, since she rejected me, I didn't think she'd talk about me to her sister.

“¡Sí! ¡Eres la chica que le pidió su número pero ella te rechazó porque tiene miedo al amor debido a su trabajo, verdad? pero por alguna razón nunca me dijo tu nombre!” (Yes! You're the girl who asked for her number but she rejected you because she's scared of love due to her job right? for some reason she never told me your name) she reminded me, surprised.

“Sí, soy yo ¿De verdad te dijo eso?” (Yes, it’s me. Did she really tell you that?) I asked, a bit embarrassed.

“Sí, lo hizo, pero ¿por qué no me dijiste que la volviste a ver?” (Yes, she did, but why didn't you tell me you saw her again?) she asked.

“Me dio mucha vergüenza y quería olvidarlo, lo siento” (I was too embarrassed and wanted to forget about it, I'm sorry) I apologized feeling a little bad.

Alba truly is an amazing and loving person. She has been a tremendous help to me here in Barcelona, always offering her support and guidance.

We share everything with each other, from our deepest secrets to our everyday experiences. Her presence has made my time in this city so much more enjoyable and fulfilling.

I feel a bit guilty for not telling her about my interaction with Alexia in the street, especially since she was really excited when I first mentioned Alexia to her that night at the sushi restaurant.

Now, it feels like I kept something important from her, and I don't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel left out.

“No necesitas disculparte, lo entiendo. Tenías todo el derecho de no decírmelo. Todos tienen sus propias razones para mantener ciertas cosas en privado, y respeto eso. Tus sentimientos y decisiones son importantes para mí.” (No need to apologize, I understand. You had every right not to tell me. Everyone has their own reasons for keeping certain things private, and I respect that. Your feelings and choices are important to me) She told me gently putting her hand on my thigh,squeezing it.

“Eres la mejor” (you’re the best) I simply told her putting my hand on top of hers on my thigh.

“Pero te dije que el nombre de mi hermana es Alexia; podrías haberlo deducido por el nombre.” (But I told you my sister's name is Alexia; you could have figured that out from the name) she said getting back to the subject.

“Alba, no sabía su nombre hasta que la volví a ver en la calle y fue entonces cuando ella me rechazó. Además, ¿sabes cuántas Alexias hay en España? No podía simplemente sacar conclusiones basadas en un nombre y no tenía idea de cómo se veía tu Alexia” (Alba, I didn't know her name until I saw her again on the street and that’s when she rejected me. Plus, do you know how many Alexias there are in Spain? I couldn't have just jumped to conclusions based on a name and I had no idea how your Alexia looked like) I replied matter-of-factly.

She gave me a look that said “yes you’re right” and shrugged her shoulders.

“Somos las chicas más tontas de España” (we are the stupidest girl in Spain) she said laughing a little.

I turned back to the field, watching Alexia's every move. I couldn't believe it...

Alexia and the other players started heading back into the tunnel. Alba called out her name to catch her attention. Alexia looked up at her sister and smiled.

Alba then put her arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer,so that Alexia could see me.

Alba grinned widely and pointed at me. I smiled softly at her and waved.

Alexia's jaw literally dropped in shock, her eyes widening as if she had just seen a ghost.

She stumbled a little, almost falling over, before colliding with one of her teammates.

Her face turned pale, and she quickly apologized to her teammates.

Then, she turned back to look at us, her eyebrows furrowed deeply in confusion, and her mouth still slightly agape. I couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her bewildered reaction, finding it both surprising and amusing.

After blinking a few times to collect herself, she managed to smile and gave a small wave.

Her movements seemed almost mechanical, as if she were on autopilot. Then, with a final glance back at us, she turned and disappeared into the tunnel, leaving an air of lingering uncertainty behind her.

——

Throughout the entire match, I was mesmerized by Alexia's performance.I don't watch football because I find it boring but it's completely different when it comes to her.

She is absolutely incredible. While watching the match, Alba filled me in on Alexia's career details.

She explained how Alexia is nicknamed “La Reina” because she's the best female footballer in the world. She's also a two-time Ballon d'Or winner, she has won the Champions League back in 2021, and numerous other trophies.

I couldn't believe my ears. I was in the presence of a true legend. Given the number of people wearing Alexia's jersey and the way the crowd cheered every time she touched the ball, it was clear that she was deeply loved and idolized.

At the end of the match, Barcelona clinched an easy victory with a score of 3-0. Players from both teams exchanged congratulations and hugs.

Alba and I stood up to leave the stadium when we heard someone calling her name. We turned around to see Alexia signaling for us to come closer.

We walked down the stairs and leaned over the barrier separating us from Alexia. She looked up at me and said “hola” with a soft smile. I returned the greeting and smiled back.

She looked incredibly attractive in her kit, and the sweat only added to her appeal. We gazed at each other for a few moments until Alba broke the silence, waving her hand and saying, “¡Oye! Todavía estoy aquí.” (Hey! I'm still here) which made us laugh and looked at Alba.

“Ven a mi casa” (Come to my place) Alexia said. “Podemos pasar un rato allí y luego unirnos a mamá en el restaurante.” (We can spend some time there and then joined mom at the restaurant) Alba nodded in agreement.

“¡Vale, nos vemos allí!” (Okay, see you there) Alexia said with a smile before walking into the tunnel.

——

Alba and I got back in the car and headed to Alexia's apartment. Once parked, we entered the building and take the elevator to Alexia’s apartment. Alba searched through her bags to find the spare key to Alexia’s place.

After finding it, she unlocked the door, and Alexia’s fluffy dog came bounding toward us. “Nala!” I exclaimed, picking up the tiny dog.

“¿Cómo sabes su nombre?” (How do you know her name?) Alba asked, closing the door and moving further into the apartment, settling on the couch. I followed her, still holding Nala, and sat down beside Alba.

“La conocí en el parque. La segunda vez que vi a Alexia, Nala corrió directamente hacia mí.” (I met her at the park. The second time I saw Alexia, Nala ran straight to me) I explained, petting Nala as she attempted to lick my face and Alba just hummed.

“Todavía no puedo creer esta situación, ¡es una puta locura!” (I still can’t believe this situation, it’s fucking crazy) she said, reaching for the TV remote and turning on the TV.

“Yeah, I can’t either” I replied, more to myself and looked at Alba.

Now that I think about it, how could I not have noticed that Alba and Alexia were related? They look exactly the same, with their strikingly similar features and mannerisms. It's almost uncanny how much they resemble each other, right down to their expressions.

“Así que, ¿estás enamorado de mi hermana?” (So, you’re in love with my sister) Alba teased, poking my cheek, snapping me out of my thoughts

“Deja de decir eso, no estoy enamorada. Solo he conocido a tu hermana tres veces antes de hoy y apenas hablamos.” (Stop it, I’m not in love. I’ve only met your sister three times before today and we barely talked) I said, swatting her hand away.

“Claro, claro... Alexia y Y/N están enamoradas el una del otra” (Sure, sure… Alexia and Y/N are in love with each other) she sang cheerfully, puckering her lips in a playful manner.

I grabbed a pillow next to me and playfully hit her with it. She pushed me away and laughed, turning her attention back to the TV.

——

About 20 minutes later, the apartment door opened, and there stood Alexia. She was wearing a Barcelona tracksuit and her hair was a little wet. I couldn't help but think she looked even more stunning.

Nala, who had been in my arms since we arrived, leapt out and ran straight to Alexia to greet her.

“Hola nena” Alexia said, picking Nala up and kissing her soft fur.

Alba also got up and ran to her sister, greeting her with a big hug and multiple kisses on the cheek. Alexia hugged her back and kissed her forehead as they pulled away and Alexia put Nala down.

I stood up too, feeling a bit unsure and awkward in the middle of her living room.

Alexia glanced at me and walked over. She smiled softly before pulling me into a gentle hug.She smells so good…

“Hello” she whispered in english into my ear and I greeted her back softly.

With her arms around my waist and her tall, muscular body against mine, I had never felt so safe.

She pulled away far too quickly for my liking, and I already missed the warmth of her body.

“Alexia, te presentaría a Y/N, pero aparentemente ustedes ya se conocieron antes, ¿verdad?” (Alexia, I would introduced you to Y/N but apparently you guys already met before right?) She asked a smirk playing on her lips and she wriggled her eyebrows.

Alexia walked pass Alba putting one of her large hands on Alba’s face pushing her away “Métete en tus asuntos, tonta”(Mind your own business, idiot) she said making her way to the kitchen.

“Voy a hacerme un batido, ¿quieren uno?” (I’m making myself a smoothie, do you guys want one?) she asked, looking at both Alba and me.

Alba and I politely declined, and we both took our seats at the kitchen table, sitting face to face.

As Alexia rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, searching for the ingredients for her smoothie, Alba and I started discussing our upcoming classes.

While I was talking to Alba, I felt Alexia sit next to me, really close, placing her smoothie on the table. Honestly, I couldn't focus on what Alba was saying anymore.

Then Alba's phone started ringing. She checked who was calling.

“Necesito contestar esta llamada, los dejaré solos para que puedan hablar un poco” (I need to answer this call,I’ll leave you two alone so that you can talk a little bit) she said winking at us a smug expression on her face.

She then stand up and walked towards what I assumed was Alexia's room, closing the door behind her.

I was left alone with Alexia, and an awkward silence filled the room.

“Did you like the game?” I heard Alexia asking after a few minutes of silence.

I couldn't say it enough, but I loved when she spoke in english.

I turned my head towards her and looked into her eyes, smiling. “Yes, you were amazing” I told her truthfully.

A blush spread across her cheeks, and she looked a little embarrassed but smiled nonetheless.

“So, you've been friends with Alba all this time? You work together at school, verdad?” she asked curiously, taking a sip of her smoothie.

“Um, yeah, we are co-teaching a class together. We met like two days after I first met you at that restaurant” I said to her.

“I didn't know you were her sister until today, though. She talked about you, obviously, but I never saw what you looked like or anything” I continued explaining and she nodded her head.

“Alba también habló de ti, pero al igual que tú, no relacioné los detalles. Mencionó tu nombre, pero para mí solo era un nombre, así que no podría haberte reconocido.” (Alba spoke about you too, but like you, I didn't link the details. She mentioned your name, but it was just a name to me, so I couldn't have recognized you) She explained her perspective in spanish.

“It’s okay, now we know…better late than never I suppose” I said smiling gently at her and she smiled back before looking back down at her smoothie.

Another awkward silence filled the room…God Alba please come back…

“You know, I felt very bad for not giving you my phone number. I—” but I cut her off because I really didn't want her to keep talking about this embarrassing moment.

“It's okay, you don't have to feel bad. I understand now” I told her.

She smiled at me sympathetically. “You know, now that you're pratically Alba's best friend, we can be friends too, but only if you want to...” she trailed off nervously and unsure.

I smiled at her. “Yes, we can be friends, of course.”

I extended my hand for a handshake, and she just looked at me in confusion.

“Let's do this all over again. My name is Y/N Y/L/N, and you?”

She smiled softly and took my hand. “I am Alexia Putellas” she said, shaking my hand.

We smiled at each other and we let go of each other's hands “by the way nice jersey, you must be a big fan ..” she said jokingly.

“Oh thank you, Alba gave it to me, I only wore it because I like the colour.I have no idea who that “Alexia” is…but Alba told me that apparently she’s the best player in the world, I doubt it since I have no idea who she is, do you know her ? ” I joked.

“No, I don’t know her either, but you’re right the colors are pretty” she played along and we both giggled.

I smiled at her and and was about to agree when we were interrupted by Alba coming out of the other room.She sat back down, smirking at us.

“Soy yo de nuevo. Espero no estar interrumpiendo.” (It's me again. I hope I'm not interrupting) she said smugly, making me roll my eyes.

“Eres tan molesta, Albita.” (You are so annoying, Albita) I told her, glaring playfully and using the nickname the kids at school gave her.

Even though she'll never admit it to the kids, she absolutely hates that nickname for some reason.

“No me llames así, puta” (Don't call me that, bitch) she said, now glaring at me.

“No te enojes... Albita” (Oh, don't be angry... Albita) Alexia continued, also using the nickname to annoy her sister.

“No, no, no, no estamos haciendo eso, solo porque ustedes dos son pareja ahora no significa que puedan unirse para molestarme.” (No, no, no we are not doing that, just because you two are a couple now doesn't mean you can team up to annoy me) she scoffed.

No way, she did not just say that.

“No somos pareja.” (We're not a couple) Alexia and I said simultaneously, glancing at each other in surprise and then smiling.

——

After some time and talking more about this crazy situation to clear things up, and also teasing Alba, Alexia got up to get changed as we were about to leave for the restaurant to meet Eli, Alba, and Alexia’s mom.

As Alexia was getting ready, Alba was lying on the couch, scrolling through her phone, and I was at the kitchen table playing with Nala.

Alexia then made her reappearance; she looked beautiful. She was wearing large blue jeans and a white top with a “just do it” cap—so simple yet so beautiful.

She noticed my staring and looked at me with a teasing smile. I quickly turned my attention back to Nala.

Alba suddenly got up from the couch, shouting, “¡Vamos chicas, tengo hambre!” (Come on girls, I’m hungry).

Alexia and I both laughed at her. “Vamos en mi coche.” (Let’s take my car) Alexia said, picking up her car keys.

We exited the apartment but not before saying goodbye to Nala and made our way to the parking lot.

Alexia’s car was a sleek, black Cupra with tinted windows and shiny rims. As I stared at it, a wave of recognition washed over me. Wait a minute, I’ve definitely seen this car before.

“Hey! I recognize this car. It was you! You almost ran me over the other day in the parking lot” I told her accusingly as we got into the car. Alba and Alexia sat in the front, and I was in the back.

“It was you?! What do you mean I almost ran you over? You should be careful when you cross the road.Your mom never told you to look both sides of the road before crossing it? ” she laughed a little, glaring at me playfully.

“¡Oye, habla en español! ¡No entiendo! que está pasando? ” (Hey, speak in Spanish! I don’t understand! what is happening?) Alba said feeling a little left out of the conversation.

Alexia and I burst into giggles as we recounted the entire situation to her in Spanish.

With a mischievous glint in her eye, she joked that Alexia should have just run me over and not stopped, so we could have met each other again even sooner.

The playful banter made the moment even more memorable, and we couldn't stop laughing at the thought of such a dramatic reunion.

——

Arriving at the restaurant, we made our way towards the entrance, and Alexia opened the door for both Alba and me. I smiled at her and thanked her.

The waitress greeted us, and we informed her that we would be four, as Eli hadn't arrived yet. She led us to a table for four, and Alexia and I sat next to each other, with Alba facing me.

While waiting for their mom, we talked about Alexia's upcoming important match since Barcelona will be playing in the final of the Champions League against Wolfsburg.

She mentioned that she told her teammates if they win the Champions League, she'll dye her hair pink.

Not gonna lie, I think pink would suit her.

After waiting for about fifteen minutes, Eli finally arrived, giving us a warm hug. She seemed to recognize me from the restaurant where we first met in Barcelona, as she looked at me a bit longer than usual.

As she sat down, Alba introduced me to her mom, saying, “Mami, esta es Y/N. Trabajamos juntas en la escuela y ahora es mi amiga.” (Mami, this is Y/N. We work together at school, and she's my friend now)

Eli greeted me warmly, saying, “Mucho gusto, Y/N. Aunque siento que nos hemos visto antes, ¿verdad? En un restaurante hace un tiempo, eres la estadounidense.” (Nice to meet you, Y/N. Although I feel like we've met before, right? At a restaurant a while ago, you're the American one.) Her gentle smile made me feel at ease as I confirmed “Sí, esa soy yo” (Yes, that's me.)

Throughout the entire dinner, I had the chance to get to know Eli better. She reminded me so much of my mom—sweet, caring, and fiercely protective over her daughters.

Her warmth and attentiveness were palpable, making me feel instantly at ease. It became clear to me where both Alba and Alexia got their kindness and sweetness from.

Eli's nurturing nature and genuine affection for her family shone through every word and gesture, leaving a lasting impression on me.

——

After a delightful dinner together, we bid farewell to Eli, exchanging warm hugs and promising to meet again in the near future.

Alexia, Alba, and I got back into the car and began our drive back to Alexia's apartment.

The ride was serene, with only the gentle tunes from the radio playing softly in the background. I frequently noticed Alexia glancing at me through the rearview mirror, and each time, we exchanged knowing smiles that spoke volumes.

When we finally arrived at Alexia's apartment, she carefully parked the car.

Alba and I started to say our goodbyes, lingering for a moment to appreciate the evening, before heading towards Alba's car.

As I hugged Alexia and said my goodbyes, she gently asked if we could talk for a moment. Her eyes conveyed a sense of urgency and sincerity.

She then looked at Alba, subtly signaling her to give us some privacy.

Understanding the cue, Alba nodded and walked towards her car, giving us the space we needed.

She patiently waited for me there, allowing Alexia and me to have our conversation undisturbed.

Alexia leaned casually against her car, her gaze fixed on me as she softly uttered, “Would you like to have lunch together tomorrow? I want to talk to you, just us” a tinge of nervousness evident in her tone.

I responded with a warm smile, “Absolutely, that sounds good.”

“Can I have your phone number please?” she inquired, extending her phone towards me.

I accepted, taking her phone and putting my number. “Sent me a text so I can save your contact too” I suggested.

Our laughter filled the air as she mischievously sent a message saying, "Alba es una tonta" (Alba is an idiot).

After saving her number, I playfully labeled her as “La Reina 👸” in my contacts, eliciting a playful eye roll from her.

As she opened her arms for a hug, I embraced her warmly. With a gentle rub on my back, she bid, “See you tomorrow.”

Returning the sentiment, I echoed, “See you tomorrow”.

Walking towards Alba's car, I glanced back to see Alexia looking at me. I waved, and she waved back before heading to her apartment building.

I got back into the car and Alba looked at me teasingly making kissing sound with her mouth, “tonta” (idiot) I insulted her and slapped her softly on the arm she just laughed and started the car.

——

The next day, I was getting ready for lunch with Alexia. I was a little nervous about it.

Alexia was supposed to come and pick me up, so I waited for her.

I spent almost an hour deciding what to wear—not something too fancy because it wasn’t a date, but not too casual either because I wanted to at least look good.

After choosing an appropriate outfit, I went to the bathroom to do my hair. I decided to leave it down instead of tying it up.

A few minutes later, I received a text from Alexia telling me she was in front of my building.

I quickly exited my apartment and spotted her waiting for me, leaning on her car with a bouquet of roses in her hand.

I got closer to her, and she looked up, smiling widely at me. I gave her a hug as a greeting, saying “hola.” She said it back, hugging me a little tighter.

We pulled away, and she handed me the bouquet of roses, saying “para ti” (for you) nervously.

I awed at her. “Thank you, Alexia. Those are my favorite flowers. How did you know?” I asked, smelling the roses.

“Um... I asked Alba about it” she said, a little nervous. I decided to be a bit bolder and kissed her cheek as a thank you.

She blushed a little. “Vamos” she said, opening the car door for me. I smiled at her and got into the car.

We parked in the restaurant's lot, and I smiled shyly at her upon realizing where she had taken me.

It was the place where we first met.

We both got out of the car and walked to the restaurant, with Alexia being the gentlewoman she is, opening the door for me.

We were seated at our table and placed our orders. “How was training this morning?” I asked her, since she mentioned during dinner yesterday that she had training.

“It was good, a bit intense since we're preparing for the Champions League final”she replied, sipping her water.

“I'm sure you all will do great. You won it last year, right?” I asked.

“Yes, we did. How did you know? Alba told me you didn't like football and didn't watch it” she teased.

Okay, so last night, just before heading to bed, I found myself diving into some research about Alexia and Barca.

Despite my usual disinterest in football, there's something about Alexia that's making me reconsider my opinion.

I read about her impressive career, her achievements, and the impact she's had on the sport and her team.

It's fascinating how someone can completely change your perspective on something you thought you didn't care about.

Maybe football isn't as boring as I once thought; in fact, it might be quite intriguing after all.

“Well, you know..Alba told me about it” I lied blushing slightly and took a sip of my water as Alexia chuckled.

Our food finally arrived, and we began to eat it. The paella I ordered the last time I was here was delicious, so I ordered it again.

“How's the paella?” she asked playfully , looking at me “Delicious” I simply replied, and she smiled softly at me.

There was a small moment of silence until I decided to speak. “I think we should address the elephant in the room" I said, looking at her.

Alexia frowned and looked around. “There’s no elephant in the room” she said, looking at me as if I were weird.

Oh, she didn’t understand the expression. Well, obviously Y/N, english isn’t her first language.

“Oh, sorry, no, it means... we should talk about...you know IT” I murmured, looking at my plate, avoiding eye contact.

I felt her large hand over mine, forcing me to look at her. “Yes, let's talk about it” she said delicately, stroking my hand before pulling it away.

“Um... I won't lie to you, the first time we met I felt like some kind of…connection? I guess. I know it sounds cliché, but it's true” I said diving right into it looking at her, but still unsure of myself.

“Don't worry, I felt the same.When I first saw you I thought you were really beautiful and I could not stop myself from staring at you” she said a little embarrassed and I blushed. “And when I saw you in the park again, I thought maybe, I don’t know, it was fate and it was my chance to talk to you” she continued.

“So, do you feel the same as I do? Like an attraction?” I asked.

“Yes, but...” she said, trying to find the right words.

“I know... you don’t want a relationship right now because of your job, Alba told me” I said, and she just nodded looking at me pitifully.

“Estoy realmente dedicado a centrarme en mi carrera en este momento, y es difícil equilibrar eso con tener una novia. Los viajes constantes y las demandas de mi trabajo hacen que sea difícil mantener una relación estable. Quiero darle a mi carrera la atención que merece, pero es difícil cuando los compromisos personales me están tirando en diferentes direcciones” (I'm really dedicated to focusing on my career right now, and it's tough to balance that with having a girlfriend. The constant traveling and the demands of my job make it difficult to maintain a stable relationship. I want to give my career the attention it deserves, but it’s hard when personal commitments are pulling me in different directions) she continued, and I nodded in understanding.

“I understand, it’s your career before everything else. You need to prioritize your professional growth and opportunities right now, and that means making some tough choices. It’s clear that your job requires a lot of your time and energy, and maintaining a relationship might not be feasible with your current commitments.” I said completely understanding where she’s coming from.

But I couldn't help feeling a bit sad. Since my first night in Barcelona, I've been feeling some kind of way about Alexia.

It's difficult to accept that I can't be with her because her demanding job takes up so much of her time and energy.

Feeling really sad and maybe a little embarrassed, I just look down at my hands resting on my lap, nervously playing with my fingers. It's like I'm trying to find some comfort in the small movements, but my mind keeps swirling with thoughts. The weight of the emotions makes it hard to lift my head, and I just want to disappear for a moment.

Alexia whispered, “mírame” (look at me), as she reached over the table and gently lifted my head with her hand. Her touch soft.

She gave me a sad smile, her eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and regret. It seemed like she felt bad for technically rejecting me... again. The moment was heavy with unspoken emotions, and her expression showed that she wished things could be different.

“Sabes, cuando Alba me habló de ti, mencionó repetidamente lo increíble que eres. No podía dejar de enfatizar lo maravillosa persona que eres, destacando tu amabilidad e inteligencia y por los pocos momentos que pasamos juntos, puedo decir que ella estaba diciendo la verdad.” (You know, when Alba spoke to me about you, she repeatedly mentioned how incredible you are. She couldn't stop emphasizing what an amazing person you are, highlighting your kindness and intelligence and from the few moments we spend together I can tell that she was telling the truth.) She spoke honestly in Spanish; I suppose she can express her emotions better in her native language.

“I still want to be friends with you, if you still want to be. I really value the connection we have, and I'd love for us to keep being a part of each other's lives. I really want to see more of you” she continued gently switching the language.

I hesitated for a moment to consider the situation.

Being friends with someone you might have a small crush on could complicate things. It’s probably not the best idea because it can blur the lines between friendship and romantic feelings, potentially leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It’s important to think carefully about how this might affect both your emotions and the friendship itself.

Alexia could definitely see the hesitation on my face. She nervously bit her lips and looked away, her eyes reflecting a mix of anxiety and disappointment.

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I completely understand…” she said, her voice tinged with sadness. It was clear that my reaction had affected her, and I could sense the vulnerability in her words.

She seemed to be bracing herself for a rejection, trying to mask her emotions but not quite succeeding.

Despite my initial thoughts of not wanting to be friends with someone I have a crush on, I also really want to be part of her life.

In a way, I already am, since Alba and I are inseparable, and that naturally keeps me connected to her.

Maybe, in time, I'll get over this crush... who knows?

It's a confusing mix of emotions, but being around her, even as just a friend, feels important to me.

“Yes I do still want to be friend with you” I finally told her smiling a little, reassuring her.

She seemed genuinely relieved by my answers and her face lit up with a bright smile. It was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and the warmth in her eyes made me feel more at ease.

After that, the conversation flowed effortlessly. We discussed a wide range of topics, from the mundane to the profound, and in the process, we got to know each other better.

She shared details about her career, and I discovered that not only does she have the Champions League final coming up, but she will also be participating in the World Cup in August. Her dedication and achievements were truly impressive.

She was equally interested in my life, listening intently to every word I had to say and looking at me with genuine interest.

For a brief moment, I forgot the reality that we could not be together, lost in the connection we were building.

——

After finishing eating, Alexia drove me back to my apartment.

When she parked, we both got out of the car. “Thank you very much for lunch. I'm really glad we were able to talk things out”

I said, genuinely happy about our time together. "We should do it again sometime," I added with a hopeful smile.

"No problem at all. I'm also really happy about it, and yes, we should definitely do this again," she replied, her eyes sparkling with the same happiness I felt.

The warmth in her voice and the sincerity of her words made me feel even more connected to her.

“Alright, I'm heading out now. I'll see you around, Alexia” I said, giving her a smile.

“Bye, Y/N” she responded, smiling back.

As I started to walk away, I heard her call out, “Espera!” (Wait!) I turned around, slightly surprised. “You forgot your flowers” she said, walking towards me.

“Oh, thanks” I replied gratefully and take the flowers from her hands before turning to leave again. Just when I thought I was free to go, I felt her hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I turned back, curious.

“Wait... there's something I wanted to ask you” she said, a bit nervously.

“Sure, what is it?” I asked, focusing on her.

“Um... Quería preguntarte. Tengo un partido el sábado por la tarde. ¿Te gustaría venir? No tienes que comprar una entrada; tengo extras para familiares y amigos.” (Um...I wanted to ask you. I have a game on Saturday afternoon. Would you like to come? You don't have to buy a ticket; I have extras for family and friends) she said a bit more nervous now.

“Um... will Alba be there?” I asked her.

“No, she has a dentist appointment, but Alba doesn't need to be there for you to be there too” she informed me. “Ahora también somos amigas, no necesitamos a Alba para pasar el rato juntos.” (We’re friends now too, we don’t need Alba to hang out together) she continued smiling a little.

“I’d love to come see you played again” I said, smiling softly. She smiled and hugged me.

I hugged her around the waist and buried my head in her shoulder, and I heard her whisper softly in my ear “No te arrepentirás” (You won't regret it.)

We parted, and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and said goodbye, waving to her.

She waited for me to enter the building before getting back into her car and driving away.

——

Saturday arrived quickly, and before I knew it, I was sitting by myself in the stadium, waiting for the game to start.

Throughout the entire week, Alexia and I were in constant communication.

Every morning, we would exchange cheerful good morning texts, and then we’d hop on FaceTime to cook breakfast together.

It was such a delightful routine to prepare our meals side by side, even if it was through a screen, and then sit down to eat together, sharing our first moments of the day.

She continuously showed her care by frequently checking in on me. She would ask how my day was going, and it felt wonderful to know she was thinking about me.

In the evenings, our connection continued as we would FaceTime again during dinner time. We’d prepare our dinners together, step by step, and then enjoy our meals while chatting and laughing, making the distance feel so much smaller.

Finally, as the night drew to a close, Alexia would always send me the sweetest goodnight texts. She wished me sweet dreams, and her words were the perfect way to end the day, leaving me with a warm and happy feeling as I drifted off to sleep

As I was looking around, I got a text from Alexia.

La Reina 👸: ¿Estás aquí? (Are you here?)

Me: Yes, I’m in my seat.I can’t wait to see you play!

She just sent me a winking emoji.

I smiled at my phone before locking it and waiting for the players to come onto the field.

After a while, the players finally emerged from the tunnel. Alexia was the first one out, with a serious face, ready for the match.

Barcelona was playing against Madrid CFF. It was their last game before the Champions League final in June.

Barcelona was down 2–1, with Alexia being the only one to score so far.

Unfortunately, Barcelona lost. I could see the disappointment in Alexia; she shook hands with her opponents and hugged her teammates before going to see some fans to sign their jersey and take photos.

She got closer to the section I was in, signing jersey and talking a little bit with the fans placing a smile on her face but you could clearly see she was disappointed with the match.

She spotted me and smile at me and I returned it.

Once she finished she went back into the tunnel.

Knowing that she probably is not in the mood to talk right now, I got up and made my way out of the stadium.

As I got into my car, I received a call from Alexia. “Hello” I answered. “Hola, are you still here?” she asked. “Yes, I'm in the parking lot; I was about to leave” I informed her.

“Can you please wait for me? I'll be there in 10 minutes” she requested. “Yes, no problem, I'll wait for you” I told her, and she thanked me before hanging up.

Just as she promised, 10 minutes later, I saw her car pulling up next to mine.

She got out of the car and smiled at me. I got closer to her, and she engulfed me in a hug, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her face in my neck.

“Lo siento” (I'm sorry) she murmured softly. “Why?” I questioned her.

“You come here and I lose the game” she explained.

I pulled away and held her face in my hands. “I don’t really care that you lose, I enjoyed the game and you were amazing, chica este golazo!” I exclaimed trying to lighten her mood and she laughed a little.

We completely pulled away, but I could sense that she was still a little sad, so I took her hand in mine, caressing her knuckles softly to bring her some comfort.

“¿Estás haciendo algo ahora mismo?” (Are you doing something right now?) she questioned, her eyes looking at our joined hands

“No, why” I answered still caressing her knuckles.

“¿Te gustaría venir a mi apartamento? Podríamos ver una película y luego puedo cocinar la cena” (Would you like to come to my apartment? We could watch a movie and then I can cook dinner?) she proposed.

“Me encantaría tener compañía en este momento, no quiero estar sola.” (I’d love some companies right now, I don’t really want to be alone) she continued.

“I would love to” I told her not hesitating, squeezing her hand.

I pulled away from her hand. “Okay, let's go. Follow me” she said, and we both got into our cars, driving to Alexia’s apartment.

——

Upon arriving at her apartment, I sat down on the living room floor and played with Nala.

“Ella realmente te quiere” (She really likes you) Alexia said from her spot next to me on the floor caressing Nala’s soft fur.

“Of course, who doesn't?” I joked sassily, and Alexia smiled, giving me a gentle push.

She then got up and headed to the kitchen. “What do you want to eat for dinner?” she asked.

“I don't know, whatever you want” I replied.

“We can make lasagna” she suggested, rummaging through the cabinets for ingredients. "Oh, I love lasagna!" I exclaimed happily.

She laughed as I got up and headed to the kitchen to help her with the cooking.

She took her phone, connected it to the aux, and put on some music. “You and Alba are obsessed with Karol G” I told her.

“La mejora” (the best) she simply replied, singing along to the lyrics.

As we cooked together, I noticed that Alexia often glanced at me, and every time I caught her, she quickly looked away.

While waiting for the lasagna to cook and Alexia went to the bathroom, I decided to scroll through her Instagram. As I was doing so, I felt hands on my hips from behind and heard Alexia whisper, "Boo!" I got scared and almost dropped my phone as I turned around.

“Idiota” I said, laughing as she did. “Did you liked my pictures on Instagram? ” she asked teasingly. I blushed a little, huffed, and removed her hands from my hips, walking past her to check on the lasagna.

Once the lasagna was cooked, Alexia took it out of the oven while I set the table with plates and cutlery.

We both sat down, and Alexia changed the seating arrangement to sit next to me instead of across from me. We took the first bite of our lasagna.

“Mmm” I moaned. “Delicioso” I told Alexia, who agreed with me. “Good job” she said, raising her hand for a high five.

——

After finishing dinner, we cleared the table and did the dishes together. The kitchen was filled with the sound of running water and clinking dishes.

Alexia and I were standing side by side at the sink, chatting and laughing as we scrubbed the plates and glasses

Suddenly, without warning, Alexia decided to splash water on my face.

“Hey! Idiota!” I exclaimed, drying my hands quickly and rubbing my eyes since the water had gotten into them. The cold splash took me by surprise, and I blinked rapidly to clear my vision.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! That hurt” I said, pretending to be in pain and squinting as if the water had caused more discomfort than it actually had.

“¡Oh, mierda! ¡Y/N, lo siento mucho! ¿Estás bien?” (Oh shit! Y/N, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?!) Alexia asked urgently, her voice filled with concern.

She took my face gently in her hands and tilted it back to get a better look at my eyes, her own eyes wide with worry.

I smirked at her, seeing the genuine distress on her face, and decided to take advantage of the situation. I scooped up a handful of soapy foam and, with a mischievous grin, smeared it all over her cheeks.

Alexia gasped in shock, her eyes widening as the foam clung to her face. I let out a loud, triumphant laugh and bolted from the sink, running across the kitchen. “¡Vas a arrepentirte de eso!” (You’re going to regret that!) she shouted, her initial shock giving way to laughter as she chased after me, both of us laughing and slipping on the wet floor.

——

By the time we finished our little water fight, our shirts were wet, so I asked if I could borrow one of her shirts. She agreed immediately and went to her room to find one for me.

She came back a moment later with one of her black hoodies. I thanked her and went to the bathroom to change. The hoodie smelled just like her and was so warm.

I returned to the living room to find Alexia already comfortable on the couch, her legs resting on the coffee table with a duvet covering them. She was scrolling through Netflix in search of a movie.

I sat down next to her, leaving some space between us so as not to make her uncomfortable.

She extended the duvet so she could covered my legs too. Nala came, jumping on the couch placing herself on Alexia’s leg.

Alexia selected a film named “Nowhere” and pressed play.

Midway through the movie, I felt myself getting tired, so I rested my head against the back of the couch. Alexia glanced at me and uttered, “Ven aqui”(come here) as she raised her arm. I moved closer to her and nestled into her side.

She slid her hand under my hoodie and began to stroke my side. “¿Está bien eso?”(Is that alright?) she inquired, to which I responded with a hum, too relaxed to speak.

Nala noticed me and barked, prompting me to place my hand on her soft fur beside Alexia's.

Over time, Alexia's hand inched closer to mine, and I instinctively reached for it, placing my hand in hers as our fingers intertwined.

Everything was so calm and peaceful that I couldn't help but fall asleep.

——

I woke up in a dark room, still in the same position as when I dozed off. Alexia was sleeping with her head resting against the back of the couch, which couldn't have been comfortable. Nala had decided to sleep on the floor.

Alexia and I were still holding hands, our fingers intertwined as if they were reluctant to let go. I could feel the warmth of her touch and I gently pulled my hand away, feeling a slight pang of reluctance as our fingers slowly separated.

“Alexia, Alexia” I called softly, shaking her gently. “¡Despierta!” (Wake up)

She groaned and woke up startled “¿Qué? ¿Qué pasa? ¿Estás bien?” (What? What's wrong? Are you okay?) she asked, placing her hand on the back of my head with concern.

“Everything's fine, we just fell asleep” I reassured her.

I sat up and reached for my phone. It was one in the morning. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was just so tired” I apologized.

“It's okay, don't worry” she reassured me, sitting up. “I should go” I said, standing up.

She stopped me by grabbing one of my hand “No, sleep here. It's too late and you're too tired to drive” she told me also getting up.

“No, no, I don't want to bother you” I told her. "You're not," she answered softly.

I take a moment to think it over. It's just one night, and with tomorrow being Sunday, there's no work to worry about.

“Fine” I finally give in.

“Let me grab you some shorts; you can't sleep in jeans” she said with a warm smile. I thanked her, appreciating her thoughtfulness, and she quickly disappeared into her room.

Moments later, she returned with a pair of Barca shorts in her hand. The fabric looked soft and comfortable. I took them gratefully and headed to the bathroom to change. As I slipped into the shorts, I felt a wave of relief wash over me, thankful for her kindness and the comfort of the new attire.

Returning to the living room, I was about to lie back on the couch when she stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. “No, go sleep on the bed. I'll sleep on the couch” she insisted softly.

“Alexia, it's your apartment. You should sleep in your bed” I protested, trying to reason with her. “No, you're my guest. You sleep on the bed” she retorted firmly, her tone leaving no room for argument.

“No, you sleep on the bed” I replied, standing my ground.

She let out an exasperated sigh and stepped closer, taking me by the arms and gently but firmly pulling me up. “Alexia, what are you doing?” I whispered, half yelling at her, confusion and surprise in my voice.

“Shhh” she shushed me, leading me with determined steps into her bedroom.

“Alexia—” I started to object, but she cut me off with a stern look. “Callate. We're both going to sleep in the bed. Is that okay with you?” (Quiet) she asked, her voice softening.

I looked at her, seeing the earnestness in her eyes, and just nodded, unable to find any more words to argue.

I settled onto the soft mattress, feeling her presence beside me, a comforting warmth in the dimly lit room. Despite my exhaustion, sleep eluded me, perhaps due to her proximity.

The scent of her shampoo lingered in the air, a subtle reminder of her closeness. Unlike on the couch, where slumber came easily with her nearby, sharing a bed introduced a new level of closeness and intimacy.

Turning to meet her gaze, I found her already looking back at me with a gaze that seemed to convey unspoken understanding. As she drew nearer, I shifted to face her, our eyes locked in a silent exchange of emotions.

Her hand, gentle and reassuring, cupped my cheek, her thumb tracing soothing patterns against my skin. The tender caress lulled me into a state of tranquility, my weariness giving way to a sense of calm.

“Está bien, ve a dormir, cariño, estoy aquí”(It’s okay, go to sleep,I’m here) her voice, a soft murmur, resonated in the quiet room as she pressed her forehead against mine.

The closeness of our breath mingling, the shared warmth, and her comforting presence gradually ushered me into the embrace of slumber.

——

I woke up the following morning to an empty space where Alexia should have been. Glancing at my phone, I saw it was 7 AM, and a sense of unease washed over me.

I got out of bed, thinking she might be in the bathroom or the kitchen, but after searching the apartment, I realized she was nowhere to be found.

Where could she possibly be at 7 AM on a Sunday?

Then, as I walked into the kitchen, I noticed a note on the table. My curiosity piqued, I picked it up and read:

“I went running, I will be back soon”

- Ale.

I couldn't help but chuckle. Who goes for a run at seven in the morning on a Sunday?

Well, apparently Alexia does. Her dedication and energy never ceased to amaze me.

I greeted Nala by giving her a lot of kisses and some belly rubs and made my way to the kitchen.

To show my gratitude for her hospitality and perhaps surprise her upon her return, I decided to make breakfast for her.

I rummaged through the kitchen, finding ingredients for a hearty meal. As I started cooking, the aroma filled the air, adding warmth to the quiet morning.

A little later, as I finished cooking, Alexia returned. “Bon dia” she greeted, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

She had been very affectionate since yesterday; maybe just maybe a little part of me think she had changed her mind about not wanting a girlfriend, or perhaps she was just naturally affectionate as a Spanish person.

“Bon dia” I replied. “I made you breakfast” I said, presenting the plate. She smiled softly at me. “Gracias” she responded.

As we settled at the table, the morning light creating a cozy atmosphere, we enjoyed our breakfast and chatted about the busy week ahead. There was a comfortable ease in our conversation that made the moment feel special.

After we finished eating, we tidied up the dishes and decided it was time to head out, feeling content with the start of our day.

I then decided it was time for me to leave. I truly enjoyed my night and morning with Alexia; spending this time together allowed us to bond even more. The conversations we had and the moments we shared made me feel closer to her.

I went back to her room, made the bed, and changed back into my clothes. I carefully folded the clothes she kindly let me borrow, making sure they were as neat as when she first gave them to me.

I strolled back into the living room, my heart filled with gratitude for Alexia's generosity. “I'm heading out now, thank you so much for letting me stay” I expressed to her.

Alexia, with a gentle smile, rose from the sofa and enveloped me in a warm hug. “De nada” she whispered softly, her voice carrying a sense of genuine care and hospitality.

After our embrace, I planted a tender kiss on her cheek, grabbed my car keys, and followed her to the door.

Alexia opened it for me.

“Adios” I told her , to which she replied with a kind smile. “Text me when you get home and be careful on the road” she reminded me, “and remember to look both way before you crossed the road” she teased playfully, a smirked on her lips and I giggled at her,

“I will” I assured her, touched by her thoughtfulness and made my way out of the door to the elevator.

——

The rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about my time at Alexia's. I just can't figure her out; she says she doesn't want a relationship right now, but then she goes and does all these things—giving me flowers, cuddling me, holding my hand.

It's so confusing because her actions speak differently from her words. She makes me feel so special and cared for, yet insists that she's does not want a relationship. It leaves me wondering if there's something more to her feelings that she's not ready to admit.

Ughh I hate love.

[brujalara]

No es la primera vez que no entiendo mis sentimientos, pero si es la primera vez que no estoy soportando, es molesto.

[cachandodemonios]

✨✨DUNKAN✨✨🌞

HASTA SIEMPRE VIDA MÍA ❤️‍🔥!

Recuerdo desde el primer momento cuando llegaste a mi vida eras tan pequeño , te vi y mis ojos se llenaron de ternura , puedo decir que en el primer momento me hiciste tan feliz hasta el último día de tu vida y agradezco por tanto amor y fidelidad .

Eras un perro muy inteligente a parte de guapo eras para mi el golden más destacado y único que en mi vida pude llegar a tener

Tener cada recuerdo de ti cada memoria me hace vivirte por un instante pero la realidad es otra cuando ya no estás , te extraño y siempre lo haré por que fuiste un gran perro ,mi hombrecito peludo .

Luchaste tanto para seguir con nosotros se que no te querías ir aún pero ya tenías que descansar y no sentir más dolor .

Lloro cada día por que no te siento no te puedo ver pero cada recuerdo de felicidad junto a ti me calma .

Se que te di lo mejor en todo el tiempo que estuviste conmigo y hasta el último momento di y odo para poder ayudarte a seguir en esta vida , pero el destino te quería de vuelta no se aún con exactitud porque pero la vida es así .

Te necesitaba más tiempo conmigo tú eras mi sustento de seguir luchando con mi sufrimiento interno , verte me daba paz y me llenaba de esperanza , pero no puedo ser egoísta tú necesitabas descansar y ahora lo entiendo duele pero lo entiendo .

Ahora eres nuestro perrito eterno , DUNKAN mi amado peludo te honro con cariño y respeto hoy y siempre .

Gracias por darme el privilegio de escogerme como tu familia .

Gracias por el privilegio de tenerte junto a mi , me siento afortunada de ser parte de ti .

Gracias por ser un perrito valiente y luchar tanto por darnos más tiempo a nuestro lado

Ahora vivirás para siempre en nuestras almas , y ahí jamás moriras .

Se que estarás feliz corriendo sin ningun dolor y jugando con los peluches que tanto te gustan .

Tú amor incondicional puro y sincero lo extrañaré .

Creo entender el significado de que estuvieras conmigo todo este tiempo tú ciclo de estar conmigo me dejó mucho que pensar y lo tomo con mucho amor y cariño, GRACIAS POR TANTO Y PERDÓN POR LLENARTE EN OCACIONES CON MIS SENTIMIENTOS DE DECADENCIA Y TRISTEZA

15/09/2014

07/09/2024

Mi mono hermoso te amo ahora y siempre ! 💛💜

HASTA SIEMPRE MI DUNKINS GUAPO 💛🪽🐦‍🔥

💔😖

[chico-vacio]

El problema con mis sentimientos, es que cuando no los entiendo, los corto.

Alex G.

[somos-deseos]

Relato: El amor también es dejar ir.

Me gusta imaginar una vida contigo llena de posibilidades y muchos desafíos, porque pasaríamos todos estos momentos juntos. No imaginé que el amor aparecería y tocaría a mi puerta tan pronto, pero entonces llegaste sin previo aviso y me dejaste vulnerable a cualquier sentimiento que me permitieras sentir. El dolor de cabeza es fuerte cuando me detengo a recordar esos lugares y momentos dónde mi corazon eligió quedarse y aunque sé que existe la posibilidad de salir lastimado, insiste en recibirte y dejarte hacer lo que quieras. No tengo control sobre mis pensamientos y mi imaginación cuando se trata de nosotros, porque es una serie de planes y sueños que quiero vivir contigo aunque sé que nuestra historia no sucederá, eres demasiado bueno para mí y cuando miro la persona en la que me convertí frente al espejo entiendo por qué muchas personas decidieron dejarme atras, lo único que quedó de mí fue un cuerpo sin alma, sin esencia y solo un caparazón que cubre mis cicatrices y si la posibilidad existiera, incluso "yo" huiría de mí mismo.

Me permitiré sentir lo que tenga que sentir, te amaré, te extrañaré, sentiré la necesidad de llamarte y enviarte un mensaje, haré planes, sonreiré al pensar en ti y escucharé tu voz, sentiré mi corazón se acelera cuando llega una notificación tuya o una llamada. La parte de amarte y saber que este sentimiento se quedará dentro de mí es desesperante, pensar en ti con alguien más y vivir nuestros sueños y nuestra historia es triste, pero tu felicidad es la mía también, no importa si me dolerá muchísimo.

Pondré una sonrisa en mi rostro y me diré que “Me permití amar de nuevo y me sentí vivo como nunca antes, amé, deseé, pesé, soñé, añoré, extrañé y sentí puro amor y a través de eso”. Me siento agradecido por todo lo que me dio y ahora seguiré adelante como siempre y quién sabe, al final podremos reírnos de todo, amar es dejar ir, cuidar, proteger, desear cosas buenas, renunciar por tener la conciencia de que no se puede hacer feliz a esa persona, lamentablemente no es fácil, pero no podemos aferrarnos a algo que no es nuestro y con eso espero que estés donde estés y con quien estés estarás a tu lado , te hacen feliz como nunca has podido hacerlo, todo lo que vivimos quedará guardado en lo más puro de mi corazón y llevaré el sonido de tu voz como un recuerdo vivo que me hará compañía en el camino. Seguiré, un camino que recorreré solo.  

Un corazón anónimo ᯓ ᡣ𐭩.

[caostalgia]

Me agobia esa sensación de ser un estorbo, ese sentimiento que me hace sentir como una molestia, no lo entiendo y no sé porque sucede pero está allí; cuándo me expreso, cuándo lloro, y cuándo simplemente existo.

- Genay.

[florinaranja]

can i have this dance? ; juani caruso

pairing: juani caruso x fem!r

summary: puro friends to lovers la verdad, eres amiga de juani y los dos estáis descubriendo nuevos sentimientos y lo que eso conlleva! 1.9k.

warnings: none

n/a: vale este no me lo ha pedido literalmente NADIE pero i'm just a girl que se monta muchas películas así que estaba escuchando highschool musical y se me vino un escenario a la cabeza y dije o hago esto o no hago nada so here we are

—juani no me puedo creer lo que acaba de salir de tu boca. retira tus palabras o me voy ahora mismo. 

el rubio soltó una carcajada y miró a su alrededor. —¿a dónde piensas irte? estamos en la sección de patatas fritas de un supermercado. 

la joven lo miró completamente seria. él se encogió de hombros. —esta vez has tenido suerte, pero a la próxima no me vuelves a ver. 

lara cogió una bolsa de campesinas y comenzó a caminar hacia la caja, siendo perseguida por su amigo. 

—vamos lai, eres una dramática. no puedes ponerte así solo porque te haya dicho que gabriella no me cae mal —ella lo miró de reojo, estaba con una sonrisa pintada en la cara. se estaba tomando a broma todo su numerito. grave error —. además, te escuchas todas las canciones que tiene… un poco hipócrita por tu parte, si me lo preguntas.

—genial, porque no te he preguntado nada. 

llegaron a la caja y callaron su discusión. la cajera los miró curiosa mientras pasaba las patatas. 

—son 2 euros, por favor. 

por primera vez, lara miró directamente a juani, haciéndole un gesto con la cabeza. 

—ah, ¿encima tengo que pagar yo?  

—yo pongo la casa, es lo mínimo que puedes hacer.

el joven bufó y le tendió el dinero a la mujer, quien lo aceptó observando la situación bizarra que esos dos jóvenes se traían. lara cogió la bolsa y ambos salieron del supermercado tras despedirse. 

juani la seguía de cerca. les quedaban unos quince minutos de camino hasta la casa de la chica, y no le hacía demasiada ilusión pasarlos en silencio. fue a entrelazar sus brazos cuando la chica se giró de repente hacia él, haciendo que abandonara su idea.

—es que no lo entiendo. ¿qué clase de fan de highschool musical eres si te gusta gabriella? estás fallando a un fandom entero. y a mí, sobre todo a mí. 

—si te digo que era una broma, ¿queda todo arreglado? —el chico le puso un puchero al que lara ya no pudo responder con su molestia fingida. 

—por supuesto que no, estaba dramatizando por dramatizar. no me importa que te caiga bien, pero tienes que admitir que es insoportable y tóxica. 

—bueno, un poco sí, pero lo compensa con los temazos que canta. 

la chica rio, en eso no podía llevarle la contraria. como si hubiera leído la mente de su amigo, entrelazó sus brazos. balanceaba la bolsa del mercado mientras tarareaba una melodía inventada, con el vaho acompañando la escena. era un invierno más frío de lo que estaban acostumbrados, de esos que te ponen las orejas rojas y hacen que te resfries en un suspiro. juani odiaba el frío, pero a lara le quedaba genial; las hojas secas combinaban con sus ojos y las noches invernales iluminaban su piel. 

el rubio admiró el perfil de su amiga, siendo lo más discreto que pudo. rebuscó en su riñonera y sacó la cámara digital que siempre le acompañaba y que había sido objeto de burla de lara por el color tan feo que tenía. con un poco de esfuerzo, juani consiguió fotografiar la belleza de su amiga.

la chica no tardó en darse cuenta y posó para una siguiente foto, mostrando toda su hilera de dientes en una gran sonrisa.

—deberíamos hacer un canal para subir blogs. nos haríamos muy famosos, estoy segura. 

—creo que nos verían solo por ti —juani dirigió su vista al suelo, a las hojas pisoteadas.

—¿por qué dices eso? somos un pack. además, tú eres el talentoso de los dos, además del gracioso, por supuesto. yo estoy de relleno para decir estupideces —la chica le dio un leve empujón, esperando una respuesta positiva, cosa que consiguió al ver que la seriedad se iba de la cara de su amigo.

—gracias. te aprecio mucho, lai.

lara le regaló un beso tierno en la mejilla. no era nada del otro mundo que se vieran tan cariñosos el uno con el otro, eran amigos desde los últimos años de instituto y con el pasar del tiempo el afecto que se tenían solo crecía. lara había estado en cada momento en el que juani se había sentido menos, uno más del montón, alguien que no podría cumplir nunca sus sueños; en todas las ocasiones siempre consiguió darle el apoyo para que siguiera intentando. y cada vez estaba más cerca de conseguirlo, ya que hacía pocos días se había presentado a un casting para una gran película. aún sí, de algún modo u otro, el pesimismo se le escapaba de vez en cuando, como en momentos como aquellos. y lara seguiría estando para él.

—¡eh, parejita! ¿os interesaría comprar una pulsera que os recuerde vuestro amor? 

ambos pararon en seco ante el puestecito de madera en el que una mujer les enseñaba pulseras de colores a lo lejos. juani abrió los ojos sorprendido, algo acalorado.

—no, nosotros no… —el chico fue interrumpido por lara, quien comenzó a tirar de él para acercarse al puesto.

—¡por supuesto! vamos juani.

lara comenzó a observar cada uno de los modelos que la mujer tenía para ofrecer. tenía desde pulseras de plata con iniciales grabadas hasta pulseras simples, de todos los colores posibles.

juani, por su parte, no sabía dónde meterse. solo pensar que podría tener una pulsera con una "l" tallada le removía un sentimiento que quería tener lo más oculto posible. 

—mira, es del mismo celeste que tus ojos —la joven llevó dicha pulsera a la altura de los ojos del otro, confirmando que eran iguales—. decidido. me llevo esta, por favor.

juani vio como pagaba por ella, ensimismado. bajó la vista de nuevo a las pulseras, encontrándose de frente con una que también combinaba con los ojos verdes de su amiga. no lo pensó dos veces y la cogió, bajo la atenta mirada de lara. 

se alejaron un poco del puesto, recibiendo la gracias de la mujer. lara miró su pulsera y después a juani, a sus ojos.

—¿puedes ponérmela? —juani asintió torpe, anudando con un lazo la pulsera a su muñeca. sentía que se le subía el corazón a la garganta. le mostró su pulsera verde y la chica repitió sus acciones. 

ambos se quedaron por unos momentos admirando sus respectivas muñecas: lara descubriendo nuevas emociones y juani rindiéndose ante las que había estado reprimiendo por un largo tiempo. después, conectaron sus miradas. el joven se sintió indefenso ante esos ojos verdes y su boca reseca luchaba por soltar todo lo que su corazón sentía. 

—nunca me había fijado en que aquí había un jardín —gracias a dios, la joven aligeró la tensión del momento —. ¿sabes a qué recuerda? —el joven negó— a la escena de highschool musical 3 en la que gabriella y troy bailan en la azotea.

la chica le sonrió, dedicándole una mirada cómplice que juani entendió al momento. se dirigieron corriendo hacia el jardín como dos niños y una vez allí, dejando las patatas de lado, lara carraspeó para preparar su voz y quedó en frente del joven. entonces, comenzó a cantar las primeras líneas de can i have this dance? al tiempo que le tendía la mano a juani, quien la aceptó sonriente. la mano fría de ella contrastó con el calor que irradiaba la de él, estremeciendo a ambos. 

comenzaron con su espectáculo, lo más parecido que pudieron al original. lara recorría el jardín, subiendo escalones seguida por el chico. daban vueltas juntos al ritmo de sus voces, dedicándose miradas que lejos estaban de parecer de simple amistad. llegó la parte en la que gabriella se paraba en un pequeño círculo y lara, deseosa de hacer lo mismo, subió a un escalón y trastabilló. 

—¡cuidado! 

juani llegó justo para sostenerla en el escalón. la chica estalló en risas mientras juani la miraba aún algo preocupado. 

—estoy bien, estoy bien. gracias, mi caballero. 

lara continuó la canción y juani con ella, haciendo que lara girara sobre ella, guiada por las manos firmes del chico en su cintura, tal como los protagonistas de la película. se acercaba el final de la canción, los jóvenes estaban jadeando, pero felices; confusos, pero expectantes. 

terminaron abrazados el uno al otro, cogiendo el aire helado de la tarde. lara suspiró ante la cercanía y la extrañeza de la situación. en algún punto de la tarde, sentía que algo había cambiado entre ellos dos.

cuando se encontró con sus ojos celestes, vio en ellos algo que la asustó. se separó de él como si quemara, dándole una sonrisa apenada en respuesta. 

—será mejor que lleguemos ya a mi casa, el frío se me está colando en los huesos. 

—dale. 

y así, retomaron el camino hacia la casa de la chica. lara tenía mucho que pensar en su cabeza y un remolino de sentimientos encontrados en el corazón, pero sobretodo se sentía una horrible persona por cortar de esa forma a juani. estaba claro que algo iba a pasar antes de que se separara de él. ¿una confesión? ¿un beso? pensar en cualquiera de las dos opciones hacía que le sudaran las manos de los nervios. 

llegaron a su casa con solo el viento como sonido de fondo. la casa de lara siempre había sido uno de sus lugares favoritos, principalmente porque podía estar con ella y le ayudaba a despejarse de sus propios problemas. y con solo pasar por el marco de la puerta, sentía que toda la tensión se desvanecía. 

—vamos, me he dejado todo preparado para vernos todas las pelis de una sentada. 

esa tarde habían quedado para ver la saga de los juegos del hambre, la favorita de ambos.

la habitación de la chica te recibía con un golpe de aire caliente y una luz tenue que provenía de la mesilla de noche. se desprendieron de sus abrigos y de sus zapatos y poco después se acomodaron en la cama uno junto al otro. 

—te quedas a dormir, ¿verdad? 

juani asintió en respuesta y la chica reprimió una sonrisa contenta. mientras ella se encargaba de poner la película, el joven se quedó observando la pulserita verde de su muñeca. estaba decidido a dar el paso que llevaba temiendo tanto tiempo y después de lo ocurrido, no se equivocaba al no intentarlo. puede que nunca pudiera estar con lara en la forma que él quería, pero cualquier cosa era mejor que llegar a perderla. 

—¡listo! a por la viciada. 

lara se acomodó en la cama, cogió una manta y los tapó a ambos mientras la peli comenzaba. 

después de ver la primera, el espacio que los separaba se había reducido. tras la segunda, sus hombros ya chocaban el uno con el otro. con la tercera, juani había recostado su cabeza en el cuello de la chica y esta había hecho lo mismo sobre los rizos del joven. cuando los créditos de la segunda parte de sinsajo ya estaban pasando, ambos chicos estaban profundamente dormidos: lara abrazaba el torso de juani y tenía su rostro sobre la barriga de este; juani se limitaba a arropar a la chica que tenía sobre él. 

puede que ese día en el jardín no fuera el momento en el que confesarían sus emociones, pero una cosa estaba clara: el amor que les unía nunca podría desvanecerse, sino solo unirlos más hasta que fuera irremediable que ambos dejaran el miedo atrás y se atrevieran a sentir.

[buscandonuevasnoches]

No logro entender el problema con el "visto"

Cuando vos te juntas con alguien no siempre hay charla fluida, a veces hay silencios

Y esos silencios no tienen porque ser algo incomodo o malo.

Al contrario, los silencios con las personas correctas también son hermosos

Porque no hace falta estar en contacto 24/7 para que haya vínculo o unión.

Porque un "visto" no va a romper al amor así como si nada.

[cukizilla]

Vengo del video de las opiniones impopulares, realmente me sorprendió ver algo de tumblr, desde hace cuando tienes tumblr? Yo estado aquí solo desde 2022, solo porque quería ver que rayos con este sitio y me di cuenta de que esta muerto o solo publican arte, actualmente solo uso tumblr para leer one-shot y headcanos con mis personajes fav, realmente no uso tumblr para publicar cosas, ni siquiera la uso como diario, me da miedo publicar algo (lol por eso uso anónimo en esta pregunta)

🦊-

JSJSJS no te preocupes, entiendo el sentimiento porque yo tampoco me la paso acá 24/7 y honestamente soy consciente de que si bien me quejo siempre de Twitter, es el que más reviso

Pero siento que por eso es que me encanta Tumblr, es como mi recoveco de paz mental donde vengo, reblogueo fanarts, digo frases chistositas y tiro desahogos en mi blog privado (del que obviamente no les diré nada nunca jaja sorri)

Sin embargo, es bonito que por el vídeo de Opiniones Impopulares ahora haya más gente acá y poder interactuar con ustedes, mi bola de raritos, los seguidores que usan Tumblr son los mas cool pero no le digan al resto (?)

[themasterreader69]

HASTA EL AMANECER

Enzo Vogrincic x Reader

Enzo Vogrincic regresa a casa antes de lo esperado por un cambio de vuelo, convirtiendo los sentimientos de un día cansador en un momento para reconectar.

Eran pasadas las dos de la madrugada, la oscuridad envolvía la habitación del apartamento, nada excepto la luz esquinera al borde del sofá y las luces de la televisión. La película her se reproducía en la pantalla frente a mí aunque mis párpados pesaban como el silencio que me inundaba, las gatas estaban durmiendo en mi cama así que los únicos ruidos eran los de la voz de Joaquin Phoenix y los huesos de mi espalda cada vez que cambiaba de posición. 

     El largo día había dejado mi cuerpo exhausto, no obstante, mi mente seguía revoloteando como un pájaro inquieto, negándose a ceder ante el cansancio. Mis ojos se cerraban intermitentemente, luchando contra la tentación de dejarse llevar por el sueño. En un momento, el sonido de la película se desvaneció en el fondo, transformándose en un susurro indistinguible y caí en un sueño profundo sin más lucha.

Me despertó a las cuatro de la mañana, el inesperado tintineo de las llaves en la puerta principal, que resonó en la sala de estar, rompiendo el silencio de la noche. Me extrañé por la situación –¿Enzo? ¿A esta hora?– con un esfuerzo titánico, luché contra la somnolencia y me senté en el sofá, todavía parpadeando con un ojo cerrado. Mis sentidos se agudizaron mientras pausaba la película, que ya estaba mucho más cerca de su final de lo que recordaba haberla comenzado.

     Escuché la puerta al abrirse y mi corazón comenzó a palpitar con fuerza. Aunque mi mente estaba en cualquier lado –debido al sueño– la emoción de verlo de nuevo se filtraba entre toda esa fatiga. Seguí bostezando mientras esperaba en el sofá, con la mirada entrecerrada enfocada en la entrada. Mis sentidos estaban alerta, captando cada sonido, cada movimiento. Entonces, lo vi. Enzo entró en la habitación con total cautela, siquiera arrastró su valija, sino que la cargaba cuidando sus pisadas. Su figura apenas iluminada por la luz que llegaba del pasillo trajo una gran calidez a mi alma. Él estaba bellísimo, abrigado con su campera rompevientos de LOEWE –desde que modeló para ellos ya perdí la cuenta de cuántas prendas de esa marca hay en el armario– y con un jean básico que estoy casi seguro es de JACK & JONES��fue de los regalos de su hermano menor por su último cumpleaños, el corte del pantalón es relajado y eso le queda tan pero tan bien. 

     Con un bostezo final, me levanté para recibirlo, dejando atrás el sofá y la película inconclusa. La fatiga se desvaneció momentáneamente, reemplazada por el calor reconfortante de un beso de regreso y un fuerte abrazo. 

Yo quería hablar primero pero me distraje entre sus labios. 

—¿Qué hacés a esta hora? pensé que ibas a estar durmiendo, quería que fuera una sorpresa el estar de vuelta. —Me dijo mientras hacía muecas como si lo que acababa de hacer fuera algo inimaginable. 

—No entiendo, en la última videollamada que hicimos me dijiste que no llegabas hasta la mañana. 

Dejó la mochila y las valijas y comenzó a explicarme mientras se desabrochaba la campera dejándola así en el perchero. 

—Sí, bueno, copsas pasaron —Se reía— Mira, es así, mi vuelo original tenía una escala larga pero resulta que hubo problemas técnicos con el avión, así que nos desviaron a otra ciudad para hacer una escala no programada y de suerte nomás es que pude conseguir un vuelo de conexión más rápido y lo tomé para poder llegar a casa antes.

Mi ceño se frunció ligeramente mientras procesaba la información –mucho que procesar para alguien que recién despierta además la gesticulación de sus manos me distraía– Banca ¿problemas técnicos? ¿pasó algo durante el vuelo? —Dije angustiado.

—No, no te preocupes —Me agarró de la mano mientras movía la otra para explicar— Fue más un tema logístico que otra cosa. Todo estuvo bien, solo un poco de retraso y un cambio de ruta inesperado. Pero ya estoy acá sano y salvo así que quédate tranqui. 

Me acurruqué un poco más cerca de él.

—Me alegra mucho que estés bien. Aunque hubiera preferido que llegaras según lo planeado así te esperaba con alguna sorpresita o algo, pero bueno, estoy feliz de tenerte de vuelta.

Enzo me sonrió y pasó un brazo alrededor de mis hombros, dejando un beso suave en mi frente.

—Tenía unas ganas de verte que no te haces idea —Me dijo mientras vi que su mirada pasaba de estar en mis ojos a estar centrada en la tele— Uy amor, ¿otra vez con esta película? ¿me tendría que preocupar de que me vayas a reemplazar por inteligencia artificial ahora? —Soltó una carcajada mientras jugaba con el control de la televisión. 

—No seas boludo. Primero, es un peliculón y lo sabes, si hasta te encantó el soundtrack tanto como a mí. Segundo, no hay robot que me convenza de hacerte a un lado —Le dije al mismo tiempo que le sacaba el control de las manos y le volvía a poner play a la película. 

—¿La vas a seguir viendo? ¿No tenés sueño? —Dijo mientras jugaba con mis pelos. 

—¿Vos no tenés sueño? Sos vos el que vino de un viaje largo, no yo —Le retruqué. 

—Todavía ando con jet lag, de hecho incluso podría decir que estoy estresado, ya sabés que no he parado en toda esta semana,pero ahora quiero estar contigo —Pausó como reflexivo— y ya sé que prácticamente no te dejé en paz con tanto mensaje y llamada pero es que, en serio, no es lo mismo hacer cosas sin que vos estés ahí. 

Con una sonrisa traviesa, empujé suavemente a Enzo hacia atrás para que se recostara por completo en nuestro sofá verde. Sus labios otra vez con los míos donde cada beso daba lugar al siguiente. El roce de nuestras prendas se convirtió en un juego tentador, su solo tacto enviaba una corriente eléctrica a través de mi cuerpo, ahora completamente despierto y atento.

—Extrañaba la sensación de tu piel —Susurré entre besos— dejando un rastro de besos en su cuello y hombros. 

Él se limitó a soltar pequeñas exhalaciones y gruñidos cortados, más no emitió palabra.

Haciendo un movimiento sutil, me deslicé hacia adelante para sentir la presión de su entrepierna contra mi vientre. Un estremecimiento recorrió mi cuerpo y creo que también el suyo porque me apretó contra sí. Sin embargo, noté que Enzo desvió su mirada hacia el techo, como buscando una excusa para escapar de la intensidad del momento. 

     Sus labios se movieron como si estuviera a punto de decir algo, pero ningún sonido salió de ellos. Un gesto de confusión cruzó mi rostro mientras seguía su mirada, intentando comprender lo que estaba pasando.

Entonces, su expresión cambió abruptamente cuando forzó su mirada en la mía, sosteniéndome los cabellos con firmeza. La intensidad en sus ojos me dejó sin aliento, y su voz resonó en la habitación con un tono tenso.

—Esto ya empieza a molestar —murmuró señalando el cinturón que llevaba puesto— Observé cómo movía su mano derecha lentamente por el cuero buscando la hebilla lentamente con sus dedos, liberándose para permitirse más movilidad.

Una sonrisa traviesa bailó en mis labios.

—Vamos a terminar de sacarte ese estrés que tenés, ¿te parece? —murmuré manteniendo mi mirada— Él asintió con una expresión de anticipación y supe que estábamos en la misma sintonía.

Su respiración cambiaba de ritmo con cada cambio de presión, y supe que estaba extasiado por el placer que le estaba brindando. Aunque él aún sostenía mis cabellos, no era para nada bruto, su mano estaba entrelazada de una manera delicada y cariñosa, dedicado a seguir mis movimientos con reverencia. 

Agradecimos el inesperado cambio de escalas de avión que había permitido que Enzo llegara antes y que había permitido este momento, necesario para los dos. 

Una oportunidad para reconectar después de estar separados, hasta el amanecer.

[alquimistaliteraria]

Las personas heridas, hieren.

Y yo, ya no quiero ser una de ellas.

Ni la que hiere,

Ni a la que hieren.

-Honestidad y Reflexion-

He sido muy afortunada, pero no lo vi en su momento, atrapada en bloqueos que nublaban mi visión. Reconozco que fui irresponsable afectivamente y que no tuve la consideración que merecían todas las personas con las que en el pasado compartí mi tiempo y emociones.

En esas épocas, mi pensamiento estaba centrado en gustarles, en tener su atención y tentarles. Solo pensaba en satisfacer mis propios y vacíos intereses. Cuando comenzaba a sentir algo mínimo, la sensación me asustaba, me hacía sentir fuera de control, y para protegerme, alejarme cruelmente se convirtió en mi respuesta. Ghosting, le llaman. Lo hice sin ser consciente del daño que causaba, ignorando que mis acciones carecían de humanidad. Aunque en el fondo sabía que no era correcto, seguía adelante, y cada una de ellas, no lo merecía.

Todas eran chicas tan lindas y valiosas, y arruiné esas conexiones por la oscuridad que nublaba mi conciencia. Hace un año y algunos meses, experimenté una toma de consciencia profunda que jamás había considerado hasta que estuve en el otro lado. Ahora, miro hacia atrás y agradezco haber aprendido esta lección, una lección difícil pero necesaria, que me ha ayudado a comprometerme a no volver a herir, utilizar ni jugar con nadie.

En 2021, acepté salir con una amiga que sabía que tenía sentimientos por mí. Reconozco que no hice las cosas bien, y ella fue la última a la que lastimé por mi comportamiento. Hace unos meses la busqué para disculparme, reconociendo mi error y el daño que causé, pero no logré encontrarla. Sin embargo, hoy, gracias a esta reflexión, he dado con ella gracias por este escrito donde recordé su apellido.

Siendo musa de la chica de rizos y ojos bosque:

Eres magia

Eres la magia de mis dedos

Tu ombligo de Luna

Sintonizas con lo que creo

Tengo mucho tiempo pensándote, mágica desde antes que todo y desde antes que nada.

-Duerme tranquila, duérmete ya abejita viajera.

-Eres mi anhelo.

- *A Yulissa* Luciérnaga de encanto, guárdame un secreto,

Que te quiero tanto. Abracito de nube te fallé.

Me tienes tan ilusionada de ti pero eres viajera del tiempo, mujer sin dueña ni olvido.

Creo que me iré despacito porque cada noche sueño contigo, te fallé y que alivio que haya sido contigo.

Eres la suerte de los labios que te besan, la bendición de los recuerdos que te acompañan.

No te cambio por nada, joyita de 3 piezas:

Tu alma, tu mente, tú plena.

Tú, libertad y tú santidad. Eres viento en popa de mi barca y no quiero irme sin aprovechar la gracia que te adornan tus ojitos lacios.

No haces daño, haces risa y movimientos etéreos con tus manos que no entiendo pero prefiero verlos sin preguntar.

Las horas y tu voluntad son prioridad para mí y es mejor que encuentres tu paz.

Que no eres prohibida, pero si pertenencia de lo sagrado y por eso te quiero viva, resplandeciendo sin cadenas ni pestañas que encierren tu libertad en dónde no perteneces. -K

Ahora que releo recuerdo todo lo que pasó, me resulta curioso cómo, incluso estando del otro lado, se puede reconocer. Ella, en el fondo, sabía lo que ocurriría y quién era yo, y aún así, veía mi luz. Solía decir que me había fallado, pero, sinceramente, quien se falló fui yo.

Recuerdo una noche en particular. La chica con la que salía me canceló, y cuando la llamé, ella estuvo ahí para mí. Pasamos una noche increíble, llena de risas, pero el vino en mi sangre me hizo actuar de manera impulsiva. Después del acto, comencé a sentirme mal, abrumada por el caos que llevaba dentro, y en un instante de confusión, le dije que se fuera en la madrugada. No me gestioné adecuadamente y, después de eso, desaparecí. Yo, la más evitativa.

Ella no merecía esto. Espero que esté al tanto de que mis acciones no eran personales, sino un reflejo de mi propia falta de gestión emocional y de lo que pasaba dentro de mí. No puedo evitar sentir una profunda tristeza por haber tratado a alguien tan especial de esa manera.

Ahora que la he encontrado de nuevo, siento la necesidad de expresarle lo que realmente siento y pienso, siempre que ella me lo permita. Quiero que sepa que valoro lo que compartimos y que lamento el dolor que causé.

By Yls.