#epic pranks

[whumpster-fire]

My most recent Epic Supervillain Prank was infiltrating the marching band in a military parade and using a surplus RPG warhead as a trombone mute. Now I know this sounds like a really stupid idea, but the genius part is that I did it during 1812 Overture, so everyone kept blaming the cannon section and I was able to destroy four tanks and an Armored Personnel Carrier before anyone figured it out.

[blaircatproject]

I gave my sisters a photocopy of my panties as an April Fool’s joke today XD

[popeplaceholder]

Epic prank idea: Hide 17 dehumidifiers in your friend’s house.

[prankvids]

Scare Pranks With Masks 3.0 || Scare Cam Show #32

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[abbinurmel]

A Tale Of Goats and The Most Metal Album Cover Tree Of All Time.

This is a true story that happened to a close friend. I right now am sitting up with insomnia again in his house and felt like honoring him, despite it being three years since his death. I've told this tale dozens of times irl but now felt like telling this story online because I wanna immortalize it as it is that good.

So. My late biker friend, Machito, my inarguably coolest friend, one of my oldest and only flesh and blood friends. The man the myth the rocking legend. There are a million other equally wild if not wilder tales of him and his pals/rivals, but this one is my favorite. So...

Once upon a time, there was this friend of mine who was your ur example of a badass rugged mountain man. A solitary, dark long dreadlocked / epic mustached, scary tattooed, leather wearing, tall, even darker skinned and somehow actually more badass irl than Danny Trejo who was practically his lookalike, sorta guy. A guy who has masters degrees in both law and biology who lives in the Catskills in a trailer with his mom next door along with his Harley bikes and his beloved chihuahuas. And during his life in the rural wilderness of upstate New York he was on and off a small farmer. This makes sense as the nearest major grocery store is an almost 30-40 minute drive down steep winding dirt roads, occasionally down heavily snow piled hills. He had no crops but raised livestock like chickens and cows for extra food, as so many here do. At some point he owned a small herd of goats. And one day, they all escaped out of their pen because the gate somehow broke. He did not realize this until after the sheriff called to inform him, telling him over the phone that neighbors far down the way had a bunch of goats now racing all up and down their big front and back yards, shitting everywhere and kicking down trash cans and tearing up grass and he had to now show up and fix this problem as they knew they def were his. My friend drove over and brought out his shotgun.

"No no! Don't *shoot* the goats! *Catch* them!" the officer snapped.

"Are you nuts," Machito said.

"Why not?" asked the sheriff.

"Because they're GOATS, you idiot city slicker."

"You can't shoot animals out here."

"We got us a whole batch of scared goats on the loose, I've no patience in this heat, or hope of ever catching them any other way. These goats are not pets. They'll not come if called. I didn't raise them that way. They're for strictly meat and hides. So they're to be slaughtered regardless anyway."

"Don't care."

"-Look. It's a waste, I know, but asides just leaving them to run amok wild, its best I can do. If I don't kill them, eventually some other guy will: shoot at MY property, I might add, as you said, the goats that *I* paid for. And if a redneck doesn't shoot them, then out in the bush the coyotes will tear em apart. More likely they just hit a car. Or die of disease. These aren't forest animals, they have no idea where they are going. It's probably more merciful this route."

"No way you going to do that!" yells the sheriff. "You're gonna catch them alive."

"I cannot do that."

"Oh you better!"

"-You go and catch one of them then, to show me how easy it is."

The sheriff was astounded but acquiesced. Surely he ran thru field, the tall grass full of mud, goat shit and thorn bushes, trying in vain to bare handedly by the haunches catch all these panicking, not at all stupid, very large hoofed and horned, kicking, dirty, stubborn, noisy, stinky creatures.

-the fat old white town sheriff returns, bedraggled and battered, red and sweaty, tired and filthy.

"Okay you win. Shoot the bastards."

"Toldyaso," says Machito.

"Just shootem, shoot them all!" says the sheriff. And he does. But that is not the end of the story.

Machito drags all the dead goats now into his pickup. He drives home, back up the mountain, in the blazing summer sun, with an enormous pile of meat already attracting flies. ...Bear in mind now. This is a guy who is a lone hunter, a mountain guy, just a biker who reluctantly killed a mass of goats all by himself. Not a farmer. He does not have a real actually fully staffed farm. Or a giant freezer capable of handling a ton of goats all at once. The way one properly butchers a goat is to string them on a hook and remove entrails, same as any dead deer, pig or cow. Most meat raising people, if they don't take livestock to a slaughterhouse directly while alive, will maybe use some type of big tablesaw to hack the limbs and heads off. But again, this is not a guy living with that sort of an efficient mass butchering setup. He is just guy chilling in the boonies, a guy with a trailer, and a single pole and a chain with hook on it to his name. When it comes to meat, he just takes a single eventual goat or pig, after having raised it for a long time to get fat, and after a clean shot in the head he then simply butchers the whole thing with a machete to be either stuffed in a fridge or straight for dinner. He is not a guy who kills lots of animals weekly to regularly sell in grocery aisles this is just a *hobby* for the pleasure of eating fresh venison and goat meat stew as that's how they often did things in rural Jamaica, where his mother comes from.

SO. Do the math: he has a whole pile of corpses on his hands, no huge professional farmhouse or freezer to put all these dead goats in. They gotta now be carved all up outside and stored/preserved right the f *NOW* or else things will be gross real quick. ....My friend had to in the July heat string up around a dozen dead adult goat corpses upside down from a big dead tree's branches in his backyard and remove all the entrails and place them in a big ol pile on a table next to it.

A beautiful sight, a great big ol Tree of Meat and Death. That is not the end of this story.

My friend (who again, is a long wild haired scary looking hermit biker) is hot and sweaty and covered in blood. Flies and mosquitoes are cos of that constantly nipping him all his flesh. His hair is a bloody sticky mess. He smacks his face and all over his butcher's apron. Leaving behind bloody hand prints. Holding a giant machete. I think you know where this is heading.

Some hours into carving yet more dead goat carcass, a doorbell is heard. Now, very few people ever regularly visit my friend's place. It's too remote. And the few who do so are rarely on anything except very familiar terms. And my friend has had a rough time of it of late with another biker friend of his. They aren't enemies, they are still close, but he has reached a point of just being fed up by their repeat bunglings and toxic codependency of late. There was also some car or motorcycle repair stuff I think? I can't recall the details, they were not important...Anyway.

Machito has a car out in the driveway with for sale written on it...but has completely forgotten about that as it has sat there for ages. What he didn't know was ***a woman*** from out of town has stopped by to inquire about the vehicle. But instead he thinks it is this aggravating friend of theirs who's been for one reason or another getting on their last nerves and always lately dropping by. So he lunges around the side of the trailer house, pissed off and sweaty, clasping a big knife, soaked in blood and stained with handprints all over. And blindly as he comes in charging, he roars:

"ARGHHHH, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT THIS TIME?! HUH?"

The poor woman screams. She runs away in terror.

"NO WAIT! WAIT STOP ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE-"

Lady comes round the back, she sees The Metal Album Goat Tree of Doom and screams and nearly faints then runs away as fast as she can, gets in her car, and hits the turbo. Still not the end of my story.

A doorbell happens. It's the sheriff. The guy from before. He says there was a reported disturbance of a serial killer up here so tell him what happened. Machito takes him out back to show off the goat tree and explains the misunderstanding. The sheriff cackles and wheezes: "Do you know who that woman that reported you was...? That WOMAN was MY WIFE."

They both share a laugh and open a couple beers. And soon. The sheriff is bringing Machito over to HIS HOUSE. Where he hides him. And the wife isn't home yet. She still is at the station.

She gets eventually home after her hubby says it's fine he arrested the psycho. She sits down to dinner and starts to talk about how relieved she is when yes OF COURSE YES mY BEAUTIFULLY STILL GORE SMEARED FRIEND BARGES OUT OF THE HALL SHOUTING AND WAVING HIS MACHETE AND YES IT IS TERRIBLE AND HORRIBLE AND CRUEL AND YES THIS JS THE BEST FUCKING EPIC PRANK OF ALL GODDAMNED TIME.

And THAT is the end of my story.

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#NicolaQueenOfThePranks

[backpackingspace]

Penelope: odysseus darling....I'm not judging but why are you strapping knives, money, and an emergency pack to your chest? Is something happening? Should I grab one too??

Odysseus, not explaining anything: I'm not taking any fucking chances I've learned my lesson the last time she caught me off gaurd I was 17 it's not fucking happening now when we're married. I know better

Penelope who speaks odysseus: ....lady Athena attacks you in middle of the night?

Odysseus: YES it's so rude of her

Penelope, internally: don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh: should have just been a weaver instead, then lady Athena would just show up demanding woven battle scenes and new capes.

Odysseus: incoherent screaming

Later that night

Athena: Hey hey penelope I'll give you the power to see colors you can't even imagine and the threads to go with it if you get rid of that survival bag.

Penelope, not even hesitating: deal

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Odysseus: I miss my wife Eurylochus: But you will still save us right? Odysseus: (Currently with a stab wound from being betrayed and Mutiny from his crew). ... Eurylochus:(Afraid) It was just a prank bro

[calypsolemon]

ppl are reading into the dr2p2 leaks like "omg lloyd is working the ninja to their breaking point training them bc he's traumatized after kai's death." I think he's making them carry bowls on their heads bc its funny

[devotion-disorder]

(I'm sorry for the mistakes) Can we get Noel pregnant? The thought of this guy's belly filled with our baby is driving me crazy(っ´▽`)っ!

is noel mpreg really worth it if his channel is just going to turn into those horrible family vlog channels now

[fuzzyghost]

[cenotune]

tweepover pt 1 of 4

I drew tweek as a nightlight and birdhouse in your soul immediately got stuck in my head and refuses to leave. Now I can't stop thinking about that one part that calls lighthouses the primitive ancestors of nightlights like is that not the cutest thing in the world?

anyway p1 2 in like a month bc im slow and busy

[sanctus-ingenium]

lighting practice originally posted on ko-fi in February. i was having a phase

[prankvids]

????वह भैंस जैसी तेरी बीवी है????LIFT ???? Prank ???? l #shorts #pranks

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[unbeleevable]

"Yeah I'm.. Just a little ticklish! Nothing crazy."

Proceeds to flinch and fling into a wall at the slightest touch

[isthataraccoon]

my main complaint with kotlc is just that it would be so much better if sophie was more of a menace

where is the great gulon incident pt 2 with miss f???

this girl went to american public school; she has it in her yet we have not seen her be enough of a pest at foxfire

SOPHIE PLEASE 🙏🙏