#especially amongst ppl who think themselves

[sarasa-cat]

That’s it

I’m going to write that novel

What novel?

Well, it isn’t one I talk about in this space

(except when I make vague blog comments in the tags about the creepy faux-progressive gotcha-game of where I have been stuck living for too much of my adult life)

Oh the gaslighting

The constant gaslighting

[googleincognitomode]

Thg headcanons:

(Tw for complex mental health talks)

katniss loves peppermint and chocolate together. I’m getting this by her always snaking on peppermint leaves when she is at the woods and her living hot chocolate. therefore, the combination of mint and chocolate would seem very in her favourite

Effie has albinism. She constantly changes out her wigs and hair dies her hair. She is described as outlandish hair, and with all the different fanarts, her skin is very pale skin , eyes are pale as well and eyebrows are always does. Often called outlandish- I image her being something that is very different and noticeable amongst the reason, in the best possible way

Gales family is all freakishly tall. Hazelle is likely to be average height for a women, but his father is the cause of all their heights, where I image he is like 6’5. Rory would be smth like 6’0, Vick would be the tallest at 6’4 (cuz he is the most like Gale) n posy would be a very comfortable being 5’8ish (cuz she is a lot like her mummy). I also think Gale looks a lot like Hazelle, but has strong features like his father. He was a mommas boy when a little kid. But rlly deeply loved his father, especially as he allowed Gale to free and express himself

Finnick has high-functioning anxiety and Annie has complexPTSD. finnick, when alone, can almost be unfuntional and fearful of himself. Concerned for other ppls safety and the effects of president snow. Annie has certain triggers from the hunger games. She is mostly functional and stable for the greater parts, however, involvement in and surrounding the games is painful for her. She desperate avoids the reapings and similar events. However, she will try is she can. Like using psychotherapy to calm equally anxious tributes n alleviate themselves (like she would w finnick).

Johanna is a raging bisexual- w a preference for girls. She initially became friends first w Annie, cuz she is a lot like her little brother. And then came close w Finnick too. Them two form the ‘ the protect Annalise (Annie) Cresta club’ and all hang out together when they would.

I have 2 theories about finnicks upbringing:

1. Finnick has a single father n was an only child too. Seeing from his victory of the games, it comes across less as a career act more as a a child who works w spear fishing. His father must of been a spear fisherman and/or catcher. This also was how he died too. Finnicks father would have disappeared/ died at the sea from a fishing accident n Snow saying it was circumstantial but all know it wasn’t.

2. Finnick was an orphan. He lost his family (parents and older sister) in a fishing accident young, like 9 and ended up in the orphanage. He learn to become charismatic to increase his chances of adoption, I think. I think this is also how he became close w Mags. She didn’t have any children, but would often visit orphanage n would treat them like her own children. Finnick caught her eye n they began to get increasingly closer. This family relationship only deepened when she ‘adopted’ his after his victory, calling him her ‘beautiful boy’ and ‘darling child’. My reason? They said in cf (don’t quote me though) that finnicks only ‘family is mags n Annie’

Peeta loves French toast. Cuz his family would have to eat stale bread, French toast would be a ✨ fancier way ✨ of reviving/ prolonging older breads loaves. He wouldn’t have this often to eat I imagine, but he would get if it was a bday treat n/or special treat for smth (like not being reaped or that). As an adult, he has it more often n katniss makes it for him every saturday to give him a little happiness

[girlreblogger]

and then there were 3 💿

don’t get mad. i’m saying what needs to be said and this the last time.

the blk yn “stereotypical” stories are self indulgent and the relationships are unfulfilling and unhealthy. yeah. 

i never mentioned fully the stereotype thing that’s associated with blk yn fics and that’s because i have never really understood what ppl meant by it. and this isn’t to be funny towards the ppl that say that abt those certain fics.

i somewhat? get what ppl mean by yn is written as a stereotype when it comes to the toxicity in fics but because these stories are written by blk women for blk women who feel comfortable with those types of behaviors, dynamics and relationships i feel it shouldn’t be seen as blk women writing themselves as stereotypes because the comfortability with that idea of relationships comes from somewhere and it’s not no stereotype. 

stereotype: 1. a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person

that word itself just projects an idea on those ppl and (not to use a buzz word but) dehumanizes them. it dilutes and dismisses the perception and character those women see themselves as and i don’t personally think that okay. 

lots of ppl are accustomed to or find comfort in certain dynamics and behaviors for so many different and very personal reasons. (whether extreme or not.) without even knowing sometimes we all do or have because we are still ppl at the end of the day. so chalking up someone’s humanness to a stereotype is unfair to me. it’s the same shit that ppl did to us back in the day and still do till this day and i find it unnecessary to do amongst ourselves.

that’s why i chose to say the relationships in those books and fics are unfulfilling. the dynamics, behaviors and all that ain’t healthy. if we being real. and that’s more than just a stereotype. i also dk what ppl mean by her being a stereotype in particular. maybe being extroverted? ion know. 

but ppl who want to write those things are going to do what they want but that doesn’t mean..

blk women don’t deserve or that it’s impossible for us to have more exposure to more fluffy and healthy dynamics in books with us as the main leads (also all blk ppl cause not just women read books obvi and want fluffy romance that’s another convo tho). it’s also important we showcase blk girls in various ways because we all are very different.

**we should keep in mind a fictional! character we call blk yn can be a ya (young adult) so mistakes and learning experiences in fics aren’t always useless. (though it seems we’ve had enough of it im just saying)

with different ways of thinking, with different styles, quirks, and personalities. right now it’s mostly coquettes, bimbos, and baddies being written almost similarly each time. and that’s perfectly fine but i think there’s something else that ppl are wanting to see but i would like to know what exactly.

do you guys want see her in different styles? talking differently? as an ambivert or a shy girl? someone who doesn’t talk much or someone who does? like what would be the opposite of the “stereotypes” you normally see?

and how can we as a community make some kind of change to see ourselves differently.

those few ppl when i said “as a community”

don’t get quiet now. 

but honestly, because of that maybe give writers prompts and requests with what you’d like to read. there are many writers who always have requests open and lots of times those asks are some of their most popular posts!

ppl started only reading or getting used to smutty and plug books cause that’s all there was, (there was an influx at the time) especially since 2020. that’s also when the blk fic community began to grow so there were more blk fics and writers than it used to be. so maybe we can try and do that with fluffy, fantasy and wtv other fics. 

**also there are some really good books on kindle for you guys to try with blk girls as the lead that might be interesting for you. here’s some of my suggestions: sunny disposition! and excuse me while i ugly cry! (these are just from the top of my head)

i personally have noticed so much about myself from reading more wholesome stories and stuff so reading other fics or books sometimes isn’t for me. it’s books i’ve read that i look back at and see how much i have grown from what i used to be into. that’s why i don’t reblog as much anymore too because i want to find more that is more personally up my alley.

so yeah let’s just try and find and create more books that are healthier. blk girls deserve love, kindness, to be treated gently not weak (or a like a child) and have sweet stories. stories and portrayals that heal us.

we can have suspense, drama, mystery, ups and downs, and even rain but i think a lot of us just want the sunshiney stuff. maybe that way we can digest the suspenseful and dramatic stories (that aren’t toxic) in a better way.

like i said in my last post we read and write for comfort so i think we can use this as a way to heal ourselves as well.

ps. (even some “healthy stuff” can be unhealthy lowkey but that’s another convo) 

muah

also thanks for all the likes on my previous posts! i was nervous ppl wouldn’t understand what i was trying to say but the good feedback has definitely given me confidence!

no bars

[homochadensistm]

Correct me if I’m wrong but from what I can gather “Goy” seems to be the Jewish equivalent of “queer:” Was and still is used as a slur and is reclaimed by some people, but those some people insist the word was never bad and get mad when people don’t want to use it for themselves.

you are wrong (and thats ok)! <3

'goy' is different from slurs like 'queer' or 'faggot' in a sense that it was never used in such a way, directly. Like, little Jewish kids in the diaspora didnt gang up on the UncircumcisedTM and singled them out in a way 'faggot' or 'queer' would have been used. 'goy' was (and still is) used mostly by Jews amongst themselves, i.e., talking between ourselves about nonjews. Hence, theres nothing to "reclaim". If anything, the people who would want to "reclaim" it in that instance would be the gentiles. 'goy' made a long way from the biblical period (or at least, the period during which the Torah was written and sealed) to the Talmudic era to now; it lost its original meaning and gained a new one in the diaspora. When you see 'goy' in biblical contexts it means "nation" [of people], when you see it in Talmudic and modern contexts it means nonjews, and these contexts 99% of the time are negative, which is what turns it into a slur (especially in Israel). The ppl who insist that 'goy' still "just means 'nation'" r welcome to say the age old statement "ישראל הוא גוי גדול" or "[the people of] Israel are a big goy" and see if that makes sense to anyone outside of religious circles lmao and ppl who think its not being used negatively r welcome to first of all revisit relevant Talmudic texts, and then to review their own use of the word and in what instances do they make use of it.

[mbti-notes]

I'm an INTJ having a crush on an INFJ. Do you have any tips how to use my dominant Ni sharing on how to know her more/ at least be friends w her? She has a reputation amongst ppl that It's hard to know how she feels truly & what she says/ expresses doesn't necessarily express how she actually feels. Tbh, we've been "friends" for many years, but I don't even know If she actually sees me as her friend bc I heard that she struggles at trusting ppl. Thank you.

When you want to get to know someone, a tried-and-true method is to look for commonalities to bond over. It is especially important to FJs(Fe) to feel as though the both of you are on the same page emotionally and in agreement regarding important (moral) beliefs and values.

One good thing about FJs to keep in mind is they tend to be very forgiving as long as you can provide them a genuine, authentic, and humble explanation of yourself. If you help them see the situation accurately from your point of view, they'll be more willing to overlook any faults and flaws. This means you always have to be transparent and expressive enough to let them know what's really going on with you. If you leave them to guess too much, they're likely to jump to unfavorable conclusions in the absence of facts. There is a limit as to whether they can accept repeated mistakes though, because they tend to view those as lack of care and effort. I mention this point because INTJs tend to falter in relationships due to being too inexpressive or uncommunicative.

The best way to discover commonalities is through communication, so create opportunities to have substantive talks. INFJs will generally see you as a friend once they enjoy talking to you and look forward to talking to you, otherwise, you are just a person who exists like everyone else. As you probably know, Ni doms don't tend to enjoy small talk, so it's best to get to the main point and dig in to the meat of things as soon as is socially acceptable. INFJs are usually looking for meaningful conversation about topics of existential/societal/future importance. They usually like to hear new ideas that spark their creativity or broaden their perspective. They usually want someone to take an interest in what they are thinking, what they believe, and what they value... but on their terms, i.e., in ways that are respectful of personal boundaries. It might help to keep conversations abstract (non-personal) at the start because it gives you a chance to gauge their interest level and it gives them a way to gradually ease into deeper territory.

INFJs with trust issues might not be very forthcoming, so don't push them too hard when they block your advances, or else they might clam up completely. It's very important to be nonjudgmental and empathetic in order to create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically (since they fear rejection and betrayal). Be clear about your purpose/intention or else they might start to get suspicious of you. If you ever get the feeling that they are using a fake persona around you, it means they don't trust you and you have to do more to reassure them that your intentions are pure and you are a safe person to interact with. If at any point they feel as though you just can't understand them or you have been dismissive/judgmental of them, they'll start to believe talking to you isn't worthwhile and your chances of success will quickly drop to nil.

No matter the type, trust issues are a big relationship barrier. It is best to approach guarded people slowly, sensitively, patiently, and confidently. E.g.: You have to be the one to take the lead and initiate contact because they are too afraid to. You have to be the one to open up and ask more questions to keep conversations going because they are too self-involved to participate fully. You have to be the accommodating and understanding one because they cannot open up to you otherwise. You have to be the one to apologize first for relationship missteps because their social skills are too poor to handle conflict reasonably.

It doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it can be a very worthwhile and fulfilling process to help someone open up to love. That said, don't always put yourself in an unequal position of giving much more than you're getting in return. Give people plenty of chances to open up, but they have to eventually meet you halfway. When there's no willingness to meet you halfway, you might have to admit defeat and treat it as a lost cause. Remember, relationships can get very messy very quickly, so it's best to accept the fact and try to go with the flow. Venture out there, see what happens, and learn as you go. As long as you always try to act with integrity, you'll have nothing to regret.

[frodho-slaggins]

I am also thinking about how de writes racism and colonial mindsets in relation to the mercenaries cus i think theres a lot of rlly interesting stuff there. The tribunal is pretty far into the game, so you've spent hours and hours absorbing revochalian culture and getting a sense of how ppl conceptualize themselves and others. Revochal is majority white but its also got a fair amount of nonwhite ppl whos revochalian roots stretch back a while as well as white and nonwhite immigrant communities. Revochal is also pretty racist and xenophobic and you get that both from living in the world and absorbing the ambient racism (for example, the fictional anti-black slur "kipt" is tossed around with great frequency and casualness to the point that some ppl don't even seem to register that they're using an insult) and also because while you play a white character, ur attached at the hip to an asian man and so you observe the constant deluge of racism thrown kim's way particularly.

But anyways, you have a pretty solid sense of race politics in revochal and then you meet those mercenaries and its more of that same hostility towards minority populations, tho even more virulently anti-black than is typical. But a thing that's sort of interesting is that the mercenaries seem to consider all Revochalians to be racialized subjects because of their position as being residents of a country the Moralintern is occupying and that Krenel is deployed in. The mercenaries use really racialized terms to refer to all Revochalians regardless of race. They're "loinclothes", natives of a country that they are visiting violence upon. Their language and actions equate the residents of Martinaise with the Semanese ppl they were comissioned to violate and kill.

That's not to say race is totally irrelevant to the mercs's perspective. I think it's no accident that they target Liz and Theo in particular when they're shooting at people. Liz is especially telling, she is a totally non-violent figure who is actively attempting to deescalate and i think they try to shoot her in part because she is black and because they are inclined to and highly conditioned to kill black victims. They were never gonna listen to her because they were raring for a fight and because she's the resident of a place they consider a backwater slum sure, but also because she is black.

Idk i dont have a point exactly. Just....something about how Krenel's mercenaries are conditioned to consider all populations they interact with as fundamentally and ethnically inferior, regardless of phenotype or whether theyre occidental or whatever. They're white supremacists but with a definition of whiteness that fundamentally excludes white ppl who are "3rd world" even if it still differentiates between white and non-white "loinclothes." Also also something about how this reflects a real world tendency amongst non-eastern europeans to present eastern-europeans in a racializing manner, as historically western european nations have used eastern europe's relative proximity to asia as a means to frame eastern europeans as not white and subsequently frame them as inferior. Or a modern tendency amongst wealthy nations to consider some nations as ethnically inferior regardless of actual racial makeup because of idk poverty or "cultural difference" or something. But also despite that, race is still a major factor in how these countries are percieved (i was thinking about this a lot cus i played de while the american news media was covering ukraine and saying shit like "this isnt palestine, normal people live here how can there be a war" etc etc)

Also something about the motivating racism evident in on-the-ground troops for colonial operations like blackwater (or if you wanna be honest, the legitimate american military as well) is also sort of nihilistic because while it furthers white supremacy it has no allegiance to whiteness, just hostility to non-whiteness and its true allegiance is always capital.

[positivelypositive]

Hihihi ! First of all wanna say I love ur page sm ty for posting ur personal motivational messages!! They are always so comforting. <333

I just wanted to rant about my major, since I’m in college and that’s like my whole life right now haha.. I keep struggling with getting bad grades (not failing, but not amazing enough to go to a good graduate school in the future). Even though it’s very common since I’m a STEM major in a fairly tough school/major, it doesn’t stop me from feeling like a failure and that I’ll never get better.. I know that I need to just keep taking steps to improve myself and my grades, but it’s so especially hard when my friends in the class are really complacent, settling for the bad grades and not trying to be creative with ways to improve themselves. They choose to be lazy instead and deal with the consequences by dropping a class or a minor that isn’t easy (relatively). I have one other friend in my major who is as motivated as me to do really well, but she isn’t doing the same minor that I’m aiming to do — so we don’t have those classes in common to relate with and help/motivate each other on. So if I’m struggling in the classes for my minor, I know my friends won’t be much help because they’re probably struggling more than me ! Or if they aren’t, they just aren’t as helpful in explaining things because they don’t have an intuitive grasp on it if that makes sense, and would rather just give me their answers.

Anyways, it’s just an overall frustrating experience, but I saw that u were accepting rants hahaha and I kinda needed to get this off my chest. What would u do in my situation? Try to maybe make some new friends? It’s hard because I try to avoid people with big egos (bc they’re annoying 😭 but sometimes they end up being the smartest/most motivated…) but I could also try going out of my comfort zone to meet new ppl, but I also have social anxiety so it’s scary hahahha

Much love 💕

hey anon,

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you took up my offer to rant and shared freely. lastly, i'm sorry if i'm getting back to you late. i have been away from my account for a little while and only saw this today.

now, on to what you shared- i want to begin by telling you how proud i am of you. you want to do better even when those surrounding you are complacent. that takes serious motivation. you're awesome!

as for not having someone to motivate you to do even better- i'm in a field where none of my friends or family had any experience so i was a loner for most of my career. eventually, i found people to share with but i understand where you're coming from.

i think youtube used to and still helps me the most. try to look up efficient study methods for your specific subjects or course type. now, it can get overwhelming because youtubers have their on-camera, pretty lives in extreme order.

what you want to do is start small. maybe pick one idea that you see common amongst a few videos and try implementing that. see if it works and then keep adding slowly.

remember to not overdo it. perfection is overrated and for a sincere person as yourself, it can quickly turn demotivating.

take care of yourself anon. you sound like a very pleasant person. feel free to drop by for another rant, anytime. sending you warmth and positive vibes ✨

[ki-flor]

I think there are many bigots in the byler fandom i have realized this when i joined the fandom a couple of months ago. The transphobia and biphobia from what i have seen and see are really prevelant especially and there were even popular terf blogs in the tag. People sending opebly biphobic asks and posts pretty much every day is honestly very shitty and the whole genitalia thing is heavily terf/transphobic stuff i am really disgusted that thar other blog who is trans has received such asks. Byler fandom unfortunally has a lot of toxic sides and people are even proud of it and calling other ppl like reddit dudebros or mlvns out for being homophobic while being bigoted themselves in the same breath, acting toxic in general and attacking other queer fans in anon askboxes. Yikes. I might take a break from the fandom because today was especially disgusting.

It's been really concerning over the past couple of days that people like this are amongst us but hide under anon like the cowards they are.

[nightfall-1409]

sometimes i do in fact just balk at how ppl engage with and around discussions of disability and ableism.

Like ofc, being mindful of language is a nice thing and we should all strive to be nicer but if thats where your advocacy ends thats not great and further, imo esp amongst the disabled people I know just leads to non disabled individuals policing the jokes disabled people make.

implying that disabled characters 'should be' depicted as inferior to their nondisabled counterparts. That's ableism, Textbook ableism according to the APA. Discussions abt how the suffering of disabled characters should be always be central in narratives about them. That's ableism. (especially when its portrayed something that can be overcome.)

condoning disgust and shock responses to physical disabilities as "they're just thinking about themselves and thinking about what if what happened to you happened to them or someone they love". Is so ableist that I still cannot believe that I had to read it

The framing of disability as tragedy or something to be horrified at. Even if you think that saying "Well they're not disgusted by you they're disgusted thinking about if it happened to them" makes it better. It really doesn't, I think it makes it worse. "Well you're already disabled so who gives a shit. What if I, a normal person had that happen to me?" type vibes.

The consistent use of the medical model with characters with disability, where disability is something to be cured or corrected, with a mind to making a character "more normal" (i've also seen this phrased as "make them more human" which is particularly disgusting on top of deeply fucking ableist). This is also a highlight of the APA's discussion around ableism.

And to be clear: I don't go out of my way to yell at people when I see this stuff and I don't think others should either. I don't think that's helpful or productive. I take note of it, sure, especially if I've seen them make shitty comments before, and I might bitch about it out of context to fellow disabled friends, but I don't want to endorse callout culture or posting, it's unkind and imo most people don't want to perpetrate these sorts of attitudes, they're simply societal norms that they've never questioned, and I don't want trying to correct this issue to spiral into accusations of people being awful and spiking off defensiveness.

From Leah Smith's Article on Ableism on the Center for Disability Rights' website

Just like most forms of discrimination, ableism often shows its ugly face from nondisabled people with good intentions. Unfortunately, good intentions never solved any problems. So let’s put our good intentions aside and get to the root of what’s really going on. I believe much of ableism rests on the medical model of disability, in that we have first come to understand disability through the lens of a doctor- something is ‘wrong’ with this person and that ‘something’ needs to be fixed. This is how we are taught to think about disability. However, where we have interpreted the word “wrong” is where we have gone wrong. Just because something is different, does not mean it is bad. We live in a culture in which we have entire television series’ on the medical complications of different types of disabilities. [...] The best way to de-root ableism in our everyday lives, is to ensure that there’s always a seat at the table for those who are like you and those who are not, but also checking ourselves on how we treat people with disabilities once they are at the table. As simple as this sounds, de-rooting ableism is often as simple as just treating disabled people like you would anyone else.

And from NPR's "How to Talk About Disability and Avoid Ableist Tropes"

"Many disabled people subscribe to the social model of disability, which sees disability as the result of the interaction between people living with disabilities and an environment filled with physical, attitudinal, communication and social barriers. While it doesn't deny the reality that comes with living with a disability or the impact it has on an individual, it emphasizes the need for social change in order to accommodate disabled people." "The social model says that a disability is not my inherent problem and that something isn't inherently wrong with me as a person. I think it's more of the community aspect and how you can have diversity in your culture, versus the medical [model] of, like, you have to be fixed, you have to blend in with the norm and this is how we're going to do that to fix you," said McDonnell-Horita. The disability pride movement stemmed from the social model of disability, as it frames disability as a cultural identity and a natural part of human diversity. Disabled people have used pride to affirm the self-worth and agency of disabled individuals and as a tool for combating systemic ableism.

I've got faith that this doesn't have to be the way things remain. I do.

[knifefightscene]

i have a very hard time sympathising with anyone in the military, poc or lgbt like maybe it’s bc im personally effected in every which way by it since i’ve grown up amongst it and have been assaulted military men - US armymen and syrian armymen. I hate the US military and the military of my country. it’s a very weird feeling to have especially being trans myself. everytime i feel any kind of emotion remotely similar to sympathy i just remember when white trans Americans were upset over the fact that the military wouldn’t let them enlist. & the attitude of people defending them was just like “oh it’s transphobic not to let them enlist” completely disregarding the countries they go on the destabilise and ppl they kill. & it’s a completely different type of feeling when i think of americans who return to their families after killing a bunch of ppl, the way they carry this sadistic pride. my mind can’t comprehend that some ppl wear their uniform out in public and expect ppl to bend over backwards, offer them free shit and part like the red sea when they see them

I cannot sympathize with anyone in the us military unless they speak out about how predatory and evil it is but unfortunately those who speak out often get killed themselves. As for conservatives fight to make it illegal for trans people to enlist, trans people need to realize that you’ll never please the people that set out to hate you. Do not commit war crimes for america it will not make them like you. You’re just doing what they want you to do. Remember that the people you’re sent out to kill are poor and marginalized people themselves. It benefits you more to fight imperialism and not join in on it.

[mariproducer]

Do you ever feel like you're too harsh on people who still enjoy the show, even if you don't directly go to them?

No. In fact, I feel like I'm a bit more lenient on the topic compared to how others speak abt ppl who enjoy the show (probably due to the fact that I don't seek them out -> i don't interact with them).

I don't have an issue with people enjoying the show. I have issues with how people go into this show uncritically. They simply accept whatever the show feeds them, whether it's good or bad, especially considering this show's startling ability to portray the wrong things as okay, alongside how it tells the audience what to think rather than let the audience think for themselves. There's also the amount of underlying misogyny and racism littered throughout the show that can fly under the radar and be perpetuated because of how some fans consume this show.

There's nothing wrong with liking Miraculous Ladybug, but be aware that it's not perfect, it's not a masterpiece, and there's a slew of issues embedded within the show and amongst it's writing team and it's higher-ups.

[pansyfemme]

i love that post about your parents. i'm not "straight passing" either. the concept of "straight passing privilege" is so insidious... like sorry but actively hiding my bisexuality is not a privilege! privilege is EASY. it's something handed to you. you're not supposed to fight to maintain it. bisexuals forced to suppress themselves and deny their self expression and censor themselves to appear straight is a difficult burden to bear. how can people say that's a privilege? great post, makes me emotional every time it crosses my dash.

ive been typing and retyping a response since i got this ask but genuinly thank you, i always love to hear that ppl enjoy the subject of my posts. at the time i was just. really frustrated with a lot of the rhetoric i was hearing about bisexuality, in particular like. on tiktok from other queer kids my age. To me, it never rlly made sense the idea of inherit privlage from being bisexual, bc like. when i ask my dad about it, who is 62 now and has known he was bi since he was a teenager, he tells me very honestly about his expereinces. experiences i feel so deeply connected to myself, even as someone who's not bi. Growing up with adult queer role models, i ended up feeling a lot more connected with expereinces that aren't identical to my own than i think a lot of other kids do. I relate a lot to, for example, my dad's story about the first time he danced with a guy. He was in colllege in boston, a punk band that i still listen to with him to this day were playing an impromptu show in a dining hall. My dad didn;t want to dance, but the guy who asked him was cute, and he didn't know how to explain that yes, he would like to hang out but not dance in a few words- so they danced. even as someone with a very small list of romantic experiences, someone who wasn't able to expereince boyhood until after puberty, and even just being someone who lives in a signifigantly different time and social climate- i still stick with that story, i still relate to it. Something i really hate about the online culture in queerness these days is this idea of total seperation of identity. I do, truthfully believe that yes, there should be spaces for different identites to dicuss only amongst themselves- god knows that every time i see a place for only trans ppl i jump at the oppritunity- but i also think that allowing yourself to dicuss amongst ppl with differing experiences is equally as valuable. ive noticed that a lot of other young gay trans men like me, especially on other socials like tiktok have this like. weird idea in their heads that they CANNOT and WILL NOT relate to anyone who is or is even attracted to women. and its like. i mean, most of these guys r freshly out and really afraid of being labeled as a woman but i think its a good example of how limiting that kind of cross identiy conversation because you believe that no one else can possibly understand ever leads to a really warped idea of how things work- and in this case, straight up homophobic and misogynistic. sorry to go on a tangent there but thats one of my biggest examples i can think of rn..

Like. in short, idenitiy is a blur. gay experiences can be trans experiences can be bi experiences can be lesbian expereinces,.. etc. i don't feel comfortable saying that bi people have an inherit privilage when theres infinate reasons that could or could not make that true for that particular person. It's simply not accounting for the wide variety of bisexual experiences out there. 'Straightpassing' as a term has always bothered me because of its non-specificity. straightpassing as like, cispassing? in that way, i would say that any couple who appears to be straight to the average person is straightpassing, which can, in fact include same gender relationships, since gender and sexuality can't be accuratly assessed by looks alone. but i know saying that, someone will be like, nonono, only m/f relationships can be straightpassing, in which i ask, okay. so is it really straightpassing, or can we just say m/f relationship. can we just say that, bc like. using the term straightpassing about every m/f relationship makes another assumption- that the parties involved in the relationship are both presenting in ways that are typically seen as gender conforming amongst other things. yeah, there are abolutly couples involving bi people that, without the bi person being out, will never be seen as anything other than a cisgender heterosexual relationship- but saying that bisexuals as a whole have some emcompasing privlage because of the possiblity of being in one type of relationship out of the infinate kinds they could be in is kinda. misinformative.

the idea that a bi person is treated better than a gay person is so far from universally true that i really don't get the argument. yes, there are people who it matters to greatly that someone is bi rather than gay, those people exist. but i can also say, that for a lot of homophobic people, when a man is attracted to men for example, the issue isn't really is if he's also attracted to women- its that inital attraction to men that is the bigger issue. there are people who prefer bi people over gay people, yes. there are a lot of different types of homophobia out there. i just, really really don't think its as simplified as people think.

if anyone tries to claim to me ever that something about a queer identity is always true and definined.. im gonna doubt it. it's just not that easy to say that every bi person experiences things this way or every lesbian experiences things that way.. its just not true. queerness is almost always part of an intersection of idenity- its not really fair to say something is inherinitly true when the labels of queer idenity aren't even rigidly defined. a lot of people belive that bi has a strict and unchanging defintion- and a lot of those strict and unchanging definitions are different from eachother. the language exists as a way to connect common ideas- the term was created because there was a need for it. it doesn't however, need people to see it exactly the same way for people to make sense of it for themselves. i think the term 'umbrella term' is a good one, but i'd argue that most terms work in a similar way- they emcompass a variety of experiences. sometimes, even people who share the same "strict" definition unknowingly have major differences in how they interpret it- the term and the language is not advanced to the point where we can read eachothers minds and 'prove' that we are queer enough. i think it's just like. cool man, like its cool to be able to share experiences, to have community with eachother.

im glad you liked my post, it was sweet of you to say hi. well wishes

[silasplaskett]

imagine season 3 is just Kirin being like I will protect my boys but I'm just gonna do what the girls say because I am tired and I wish I got stuck on their island instead of mine where everyone has the backbone of an eclair XD but literally the boys aligned themselves with Seth and Kirin because they were the only ones doing anything for survival. Yes it makes sense for Seth because hes the spy but with Kirin it was literally alright nobody is going to help me so I'm going to make everyone

part 2 survive. I think he went too far sometimes but I think it was his personality and also the fact that the guys seemed to want someone to make the decision or act for them. Whereas the girls all lead and discuss most things. Like Fatin with scheduling martha and shelby getting food dot with survival. So I think there may be posturing but I think any tension will be each group going ok but are you another spy because they dont know about seth and devon?

FOR REAL!!! i sincerely doubt kirin is going to revert back to his frat bro posturing especially considering in the end scene when raf says they can trust leah he clearly just goes with it?? like i dont think hes going to suddenly pop up with his annoying side after that. i feel like kirin is just gonna defer to the power structure that the girls have already established and try to make sure the boys go along with it. i have hope that the boys can be open to the more communal situation that the girls have going but i also think the girls might have to adapt to them a bit in the sense that they might (not to give in to the way some ppl have been proposing this as a boys vs. girls situation, but) “boss them around” just a bit to keep everything flowing nicely. 

THE SPY THING THO. like are the girls (leah most likely) even going to TELL them about the how they understand the set up of the experiment to be? now that leah clearly gets what “jeanette” and nora were up to on the island, does she also already realize what “dj” was doing and that he probably isnt actually dead? like i wonder if leah would even want to bring it up if she hasnt figured out who it is. i feel like until she is able to put the pieces together that of course its seth she might not say anything about it in case the operative is still amongst them. 

oh oh actually i do want to add that i think more of the boys will like. have a backbone in s3! like at least marginally stepping up and being mature and responsible and not just reactive like they have been. specifically im interested in scottys development since kirin like passed the torch to him in the last day on the island which i thought was super interesting!!

[jentlemahae]

so many k-pop fans are really “purist” (sorry if this isn’t the right word) when it comes to idols. they get mad at things being “too western” bcs there are a lot of people, even if it’s subconsciously, who like k-pop bcs it’s asian. the more time goes on the more i realise just how much festishisation goes on amongst k-pop fans. it’s kinda crazy bcs at the same time there are so many native english speaking idols who get hella praise, like i always see people hyping up those guys from skz for being aussie or yunjin for being american. it’s like idols are allowed to be foreign but not too foreign. rosé and jennie also grew up overseas like the skz boys and yunjin but they’re seen as “too foreign”. part of it is bcs they have done non traditional idol things eg go to parties (mind you i can count all the times the pinks have publicly gone to parties on my fingers) but i think it’s also partly bcs they regularly interact with non asians. we don’t really see other idols so this that much but we see bp with their foreign friends quite a bit, and according to some losers online if you are asian and you have non asian friends that means you don’t want to be asian 😒😒

a great example of k-pop fans dictating who is and isn’t asian enough is the soldiers attitudes towards olivia rodrigo. they completely deny her asian heritage bcs she was born in california and bcs she’s half filipino. it’s all nonsensical too bcs they only say that bcs she has a lot of “first asian to” achievements that would otherwise go to *** if she wasn’t in the picture. you can’t choose someone else’s identity wtf

this whole thing is psychotic, especially as most of the people saying this shit aren’t even asian themselves

ohhh u absolutely nailed it !!!!

and same, consciously i know there’s a lot fetishization within kpop fanbases but the more time passes the more i realize just how much bcs a lot of it is subtle and not the classic koreaboo weirdo, and i think a lot of it is maybe even subconscious. i think the reactions to lisa’s crazy horse gig are a good example too, bcs i think some people had such strong negative reactions to it due to them still hanging onto asian stereotypes and her performance openly defied them, so u have ppl saying she’s embarrassing asian idols and is trying to be “too western” bcs they think asian idols should all be non-sensual goody-two-shoes (especially east asian, even though lisa is not east asian, but that’s a whole other can of worms)

a lot of people are just extremely weird about stanning korean idols and it’s the creepiest thing

[tomatolesbian]

the ydsa chapter at my school is so fucking stupid it’s so stupid and paternalistic and filled with white/men i have not met a single other woc or nonbinary poc in that org since i joined the gc which was a mistake bc i wanted to do “““research””” Big Mistake , now the white boys called me a white moderate ,,,

[silkgonerough]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION #7 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

All my own observations/opinions! Thank you for all the love on my last post hope you enjoy this one as well ♥ I decided to change the layout a little :)

👱‍♀️Libra risings always have rlly good bone structure and a slim face it’s easy to mistake them for a Capricorn rising vice-versa but it’s their way of approaching people that is VERY different

🚌Sun in the 3rd are usually well known amongst their neighborhood and community! They’re the ones who are cool with the bus driver and make friends with the workers of their usual spots to eat or hang out

🌬Venus in the second may have a very feminine and pretty voice if aspected nicely! Mars in the second may have a more rough yet sultry voice kind of like the girls who do the voiceovers in the back of songs

🤹🏽‍♀️Moon trine/sextile mars people would do so well on reality tv or talk shows! They’re personality and emotions are usually unfiltered and they keep it real so they make very interesting ppl to watch! lowkey also lives for some drama that they can watch from the sidelines/instigate so they’d definitely would be thriving

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🎧I have a Pisces moon, Neptune in the fifth, and Venus square Neptune and I cannot live without my earphones. I’ve literally cried over losing them and left school just to go buy new ones and then went home. I would rather go blind then never be able to listen to music again I think it’s always been such a prominent aspect of my day to day life! Earphones would definitely be one of the items I take with me to a deserted island I have no regrets🥴

🤱I’ve noticed a lot of people have the same moon sign as one of their parents sun sign! This parent may also be someone you get along with really well or have a lot difficulties handeling. Most families share a lot of the same signs as well. All of my family has at least one Scorpio placement in their inner planets (I’m the only without a Scorpio moon😬)

🪞Moon conjunct moon in synastry can be really enlightening especially in friendships! It’s like a mirror where you guys are both reflecting one another and you can easily see a lot of your own bad traits and habits in the other person. Depending of the evolvement of both people it can either work as a way to make both parties grow as individuals and form a stronger bond or it may cause you both to enable each other’s bad habits.

🐺Pluto in the 1st may create a person who is easily misunderstood by others and that many may just assume is a scary or rude person just from the way they present themselves. Usually it’s quite the opposite though and most of the ppl I’ve met with this are quite shy and a little timid personality wise!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

💣Ascendant square mars may be a person who attracts a lot of violence in their lives. One of my close friends with this is always attracting conflict and violent characters for some reasons. A lot of the times how they approach others and the world around them ignites a very aggressive response in others for whatever reason and it’s usually completely uncalled for.

🌝I’ve noticed natives with ascendant conjunct/trine moon I have very babyish looking faces. This doesn’t necessarily mean chubby or full but they’re features are just very babyish and innocent lookish (pouty lips, big eyes, prominent cheeks)

🎢Uranus in the fifth may signify someone who’s a huge adrenaline junkie and likes to do new and crazy things just because their bored. These people can easily get others to follow their lead too because of how interesting and unique their ideas and ways of expressing themselves are. These people are very magentising.

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