#especially since last time i had to leave and cry in the bathroom

[erythristicbones]

stands up for myself in an incredibly polite and not at all rude way and then immediately tries not to sob my eyes out over it

[borathae]

"Jungkook is always plagued with guilt when he has to leave you for a business trip. His anxiety that you might be angry at him for not being present is especially high this time around and only your safe embrace can help him calm down."

Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: married life!AU, mild Hurt & Comfort, Smut

Warnings: Jungkook is anxious, stressed & guilty, he cries, she is so comforting, hugs and kisses, needy sex, sloppy mutual masturbation, handjob, pussy fingering, penetrative sex facing each other, until he pushes her to her back and fucks her missionary, strength & muscle kink, he is so passionate and rough in missionary, I don't think that there are distinctive roles in this, I guess you can call it Top!Jungkook with a Mommy kink, she calls him Bunny at first before he fucks her to the state where she can only call him by his name, dirty talk, sensory deprivation in the sense that they fuck in complete darkness, they're so so desperate for each other, tears because it's so good, multiple orgasms for her, creampies, cockwarming as aftercare, with cuddles and kisses <3, they're fucking soulmates

Wordcount: 5.3k

a/n: i wrote this after kook's solo concert because he did it to me. i also reread THE angst chapter of aaol and i think this influenced me as well. i really want my kookie back

The plane wasn’t supposed to land this late. The plans were all ruined. 

Jungkook scans his eyes over the kitchen. Empty. Clean. He abandons his suitcase by the stairs leading up and walks to the fridge. He opens it. His heart stings. The plans were all ruined. He wasn’t supposed to come home this late. You made dinner for him. The prettily plated food is still on its original plate for him. You put a glass bowl over it to keep it fresh. 

“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out and closes the fridge. He feels so fucking guilty that he wants to throw up. He should have been there. He should have eaten your food and talked to you during dinner. He should have fucking been there.

You knew that he wouldn’t come home. He was aware that his text came way too late, but he still had hoped that you hadn’t started cooking yet. Of course you had. 

It has been longer than a month since he last was in Seoul and you always cook the grandest things as a welcome home surprise. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to cook, you do it because you want to. Which makes him feel all the shittier right now. He wasn’t there to appreciate it. He had one job - the most important job of all - and he fucking failed you.

Jungkook walks back to his suitcase and lifts it. He will carry it upstairs and then do the laundry tomorrow. He can’t be bothered tonight. It’s already too late. He already wasted too much time being his shitty CEO self.

The dressing room is empty and clean. It faintly smells like lavender in here. He knows it’s because you cleaned this room recently. Jungkook discards the suitcase by the dresser and leaves the room.

He takes a shower in the upstairs bathroom. He didn’t want to go downstairs yet. He is a little scared to do so. He shouldn’t have arrived so late. He is scared of your reaction. He gets so sad when you are disappointed in him. He hasn’t decided yet whether it’s his anxiety disorder talking or the truth, but he thinks that you will be angry at him.

He is angry at himself. He’s a fucking shithead of a husband. That’s what he fucking is. 

Jungkook manages not to cry in the shower even if he really wanted to. His feelings are eating him up alive. He feels so stressed. So tired. So exhausted. Work has been hell. And the fact that it was in a country he barely knew the language of and he had to be without you made it even worse. He feels so drained. 

The shower doesn’t help. It cleans him, nothing more. Jungkook doesn’t put on clothes and leaves for downstairs. He uses the never ending city lights as his guidance. The wind carries the distant purring of the traffic to the windows. The slightly higher pitched pitter patter of his naked feet on marble floor is loud in comparison. The sound stops in sync with Jungkook stopping in front of the bedroom door. 

His hand is shaking. He has to hold it to calm down. He is so scared. You will be so disappointed with him. He wouldn’t even be surprised if you told him to sleep on the couch tonight. You never did so before, but things can change. One month is awfully long and he left you hanging today. He wouldn’t blame you if you sent him away. 

Jungkook takes a shaky breath for courage and steps inside. The room smells like home. Jungkook feels his throat tighten in emotion. This is what home smells like. And he was too late for it. He swallows down his tears and tries to walk it off.

The electric blinds are closed all the way, putting the room into complete darkness. Jungkook uses the light of his phone screen to tiptoe to the bathroom. He still needs to brush his teeth. He does so using his phone’s flashlight as the only light source. He didn’t want to turn on the big lights and risk waking you. Or maybe he didn’t want to look into his own eyes. He can’t bear to face himself tonight.

Jungkook leaves the bathroom door open and tiptoes to the bed. His phone screen gives off enough light that he can see you once he arrives by the bedside. 

You are turned to his side, resting your hand on his blanket. Your cheek is squished as you are sleeping halfway on your stomach. Your lips are parted as soft breaths leave you. Jungkook looks back at your hand resting on his side and gulps down the painful lump in his throat. You shouldn’t have had to fall asleep alone tonight. You shouldn’t have had only his memory to hold.

Jungkook picks up your hand so he could slip under the covers. You react to the gentle nudge with a hum.

“Mhm”, you let out and roll over, now showing off your back.

Jungkook is aware that you didn’t do it on purpose, but it feels like it. You turned your back to him and it’s his own fault. 

Jungkook tugs the blanket under his arm and touches your back. Up and down. Up and down. He feels you breathe. Your warmth is so familiar to him. He missed it so much. 

He missed you so much.

His eyes start burning.

“I’m sorry”, he whispers shakily and turns his back to you. He can’t face you anymore. It hurts so much. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to cry. 

The sheets ruffle as you move around again. Jungkook doesn’t feel the movement because you and he have separate mattresses and separate blankets to get the best sleep ever. You shared a mattress and blanket at first, but decided to upgrade your bed a year ago. Jungkook likes his mattress firm and his blanket thin, while you love to have a softer mattress and your blanket to be thick. And the little mattress movements as one of you rolled around or the blanket wars which once managed to wake you are gone as well. Changing one mattress and blanket for two was the best decision ever. You and he sleep like royalty these days.

Jungkook hears the sheets ruffle as you move around and then the sound of a hand sliding over soft sheets. Warmth touches his back. He tenses up, stays silent. You draw paths along his back, feeling him up. Seeing him. Just like he did all those years ago when you were still masked soulmates aching to be together. It became a little thing between you and him to trace the other in darkness as to make out if it was your other half. You became so good at it these days.

Your touch dances up to the nape of his neck after exploring his upper back. Jungkook shivers and aches to lean into your touch. He is scared to do so now. He already waited for too long to speak up. You’ll know that he is intentionally acting asleep to avoid talking to you.

You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are propped up on your elbow, using the position to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him.  

Jungkook exhales shakily, releasing all of his tension with a tremble. This just broke him. To be cradled and kissed. It broke him.

“Are you awake?” you whisper softly. The words swirl against his neck.

He nods his head.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

He hesitates. Should he be truthful? Will you be hurt if he was? 

He shakes his head. He can’t lie to you. Not like this. Not when you hold him so safely. Not when you have broken him with your embrace. 

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“I’m sorry”, he presses out and sobs softly.

“Hey”, you gasp, straightening up, “hey, are you crying? What’s wrong?” you babble and roll him to his back so you could cradle his cheeks. You wipe his tears away, keeping close by resting your chest against his’, “what’s wrong, Bunny?” 

“I’m sorry for tonight. I’m so sorry for being late and, and not showing up. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, hey it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. The flight was delayed. You couldn’t have known.”

“I saw the food”, he confesses and squeaks sadly, “I didn’t show up, I’m so sorry. I should have texted sooner, I should have-”

“How could you have texted me sooner if you didn’t even know that the flight would be delayed?” 

Jungkook falters. He sniffles repeatedly, taking sharp gasps for air to regulate his breathing. What you say makes sense to him. He didn’t even think of it yet, despite it being the most logical explanation. So it was his anxiety disorder kicking in. 

You caress his left cheek while your right hand guides your pointer finger up and down along the bridge of his nose. You call this touch your magic touch because there is some sort of magic in it to calm down any sort of anxiety Jungkook experiences. Jungkook flutters his eyes closed and sighs as comfort overtakes him.

“Now tell me how you should have texted me sooner, mhm?” you ask in a soft, comforting voice.

“I don’t know”, Jungkook whispers.

“Of course you don’t, it’s impossible. The flight was delayed. It was an unfortunate series of events and not your fault”, you assure him, “unless you intentionally stayed away. Mhm is that it? Did you not wanna see me already, you sneaky Bunny?” you add in a joking tone, making Jungkook giggle.

He shakes his head, “no Mommy, I wanted to see you.”

“Good”, you say in a fond voice and claim his lips in a smooch. 

Jungkook gasps because he hadn’t expected it. The feeling finally seeps into his consciousness. He is kissing you. After thirty three days without you, he is finally kissing you again. Jungkook whimpers and hooks his fingers behind your head, deepening the kiss with trembling lips. He is kissing you again. He is finally realizing that this is happening, that he is back with you. He hooks his arms behind your head and pulls you closer, asking for your taste. You part your lips and meet his begging tongue, while your fingers explore the softness of his hair.

You feel a little dizzy from sleep. You didn’t have the deepest sleep tonight because you knew that Jungkook would come home and you subconsciously refused to find deep sleep. So when Jungkook got into bed, the rustling of his blanket woke you. The pull was instant. You needed to feel him, make sure that he was finally with you again. Your body didn’t expect to be in the current position for such a long time. Your arms are weak and your head is dizzy.

You break the kiss because exhaustion makes you do it.

Jungkook chases you, rolling you and him over so he was the one on top. His right arm rests around you just a little under your breasts, his left hand is cradling your cheek while his right hand is deepening in your hair as best as your texture allows it. He claims your lips in a kiss again, whimpering into it as his body seeks your closeness. Two layers of blanket are keeping you apart. Jungkook doesn’t think, he merely acts and pulls his blanket off of him. Next your blanket. He opens it and slides his arm under it. He takes you softly in his hand and presses you against him at the same time as his body sinks under your blanket. He trembles. It is so warm under your covers and from what he can feel, you are wearing one of his sleep shirts. He grabs a bundle of it and twists, needing you to be so much closer than you already are. 

“Please”, he begs in a shaky voice, tugging at your shirt.

You sit up far enough that you can take off your shirt. You throw it to the side and fall back down.

“Thank you”, Jungkook whimpers and cradles you against his chest. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and places his right hand on the back of your head to support it for you.

You wrap your arms around him, letting out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding in. You have him back. This is how your Jungkook hugs. Thirty three days without him are unbearably long. So long in fact that your skin started to unwillingly forget the warmth and softness of him. It comes rushing back again now that you are hugging without barriers.

“___”, Jungkook croaks and presses you closer, “oh god.” 

“I missed you too”, you whisper, burying your hand deep in his hair. You pull him closer. Your breasts squish against his chest, the pressure feels like heaven. It gets easier to breathe and releases you of tension you didn’t even know you possessed. You have your Jungkook back. 

Jungkook feels overwhelmed. He ached for your hug ever since he left. Thirty three days without you were hell. You are his constant in his life. When he comes home from work, you are there, hugging him and talking to him and falling asleep with him. When he leaves for work, you are right by his side, talking to him and kissing his cheek as he drops you off at university. When he has free time, he knows he can spend it with you. You are always there. You are his constant. The person who will always be by his side. The warmth he can always return to. So to go without you for more than a month was hell. 

“I missed you so much”, he confesses. 

“Me too, Bunny. Me too.”

You felt just as lonely without him. Years ago, you wouldn’t have batted an eye at the thought of being along for a month, but Jungkook changed you in the most wonderful of ways. He is your person, the comfort you most look forward to, the home you never want to leave. You have him by your side in the morning and have him back again by the evening. You share the last second of consciousness with him before sleep and share the first right after. And for the last month, you didn’t. You had to live without him and it was agony. 

“Closer”, Jungkook begs, “I wanna be closer.”

“Closer?” 

“Closer please.”

“Lie down on your side.” 

Jungkook obeys, keeping his arms around you. You seek him and slide your hand to his length. You brush your fingers over his tip, eliciting a trembling gasp from him. A small whimper follows. 

“This kind of closer?”

“Yes”, he squeaks and grabs whatever he can of your upper back. 

“I missed this feeling. You’re so soft.”

“I missed you too. Ah please.”

“Kook…”

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

His left hand naturally dances down your body, trying to locate your clit. You drape your leg around him, giving him access. He connects his fingers with your heat, sending electricity through you.

“Holy fuck, I’m sensitive”, you get out and moan. You take his cock and begin jerking it. He grows hard rapidly. Just as you soak his fingers at a rapid speed. You want him. He wants you. Too long you had to go without each other.

“Me too. Ah mhm”, he gets out and buries two of his fingers inside you. 

“Bunny….”

“Mommy…”

You cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his face and stub his nose with your own. Your hands work desperately between your bodies, the tension is growing embarrassingly fast. 

“Bunny, I missed you so much”, you keen and squeeze your eyes shut. It feels so good. His long fingers are filling you up while his thumb is rubbing circles on your clit. He is so sloppy and needy in his touch, which makes it all the better.

“Me too, Mommy”, Jungkook gets out and whimpers, “oh god.” 

Your hand is fast around his cock. You are calculated on normal days, but not tonight. There is no coordination in how you touch him, just pure and honest desperation. 

“I don’t wanna cum like this”, you croak.

“Close?”

“Yeah, it’s fucking stupid. Fuck”, you slide your hand to his hair so you could twist.

Jungkook moans, tilting his head back all on his own while his pouty lips brush against yours. You kiss without really kissing. Just featherlight touches, tickling moans and traces of your tongues. The tension between you and him becomes unbearable. You clench down on his fingers, feeling his cock throb in your hold.

“Bunny, I need your cock.”

“I need your pussy too, Mommy.”

“Good. Take out your fingers.”

Jungkook obeys, touching your hip instead. Neither of you care about the wet mess he leaves on your skin. It’s just another proof that you and he are finally reconnected again.

“Good boy”, you praise and shimmy down just a little so you can take his cock inside. There is no friction, no struggle, no pain. Just warmth and overwhelming pleasure.

“Holy fuck”, you whisper and push him in deeper. Past your entrance. Your warm walls engulf him.

Jungkook grabs you and accidentally scratches you. He couldn’t help it. He is with you again. No one feels like you. No one does.

“Ah!” the sound bounces off the walls. He trembles and pulls you closer, “Mommy.”

“Bunny.”

“Oh god, I’m home”, he whimpers and starts chasing you. 

Your leg is still around him, his thrusts go so deep like this. You are so filled up with him, so stuffed. You are eye to eye even if the complete darkness prevents you from seeing each other. But you don’t need light to see each other. Not you and not Jungkook. You have your hands and fingertips to see. You started it back in the stuffy sex club room you met in and perfected it over the years in your loving home. You know exactly how he looks right now and in return he knows as well.

“Bunny, oh god, my Jungkookie”, you get out and shake, pulling him closer by his hair. The darkness makes it feel all the more intense as you claim his lips in a passionate tongue kiss. The sounds of it mix with the desperate rutting your hips are doing. The rustling of the sheets is audible as well, as are the needy moans both of you choke out constantly. 

You are hot under the covers. Sweat has formed on the parts where you are pressed together. You pull each other closer regardless, basking in the heat because you had to live without it for far too long. This is the only way to melt with each other.

“I love you”, Jungkook gets out and kisses you again.

“-love- too”, is all you get out between your hungry kisses, but Jungkook knows regardless. Even without words he would know. From your kisses, your embrace and the way your pussy is convulsing around him. Jungkook knows every ridge, every bump, every inch of how you feel inside and being allowed to experience it right now is the only proof of love he needs. He is the man who you allowed to go in raw, even back when you pretended not to care. You claimed him and sealed his sweetest fate. You loved him enough that you wanted to be without barriers and you love him enough that you welcome him home right now.

“You feel so good”, you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.

Jungkook whimpers, spilling tears of ecstasy. He fucks into you, feeling his legs shake. He is so high on you.

This is fucking for the sake of reconnecting. This is emotional. Deeply, soul-consumingly emotional. Is it kinky? No. Will either of you last long? No. Will it stay in your minds as one of the most intense nights ever? Yes. Yes it fucking will. This is the kind of desperate, needy, passionate sex you can only have after you have been without each other for a long time. It is dumb. It is raw. It is carnal and it is the only good thing which comes out of having to be without the other. Because no amount of foreplay, kink or fetish will ever get you to the level of starvation than forced distance does.

And you are starving. Oh, you are parched and aching for each other. Jungkook fucks you as hard as he can, while you rut against him as roughly as you can. It results in these deep, fiery thrusts, which fills you with all his cock and in return makes him experience every inch of your pussy. 

You are burning up today. You are hot around him, as if you had a fever. Jungkook can barely breathe because of it, gasping for air between his desperate moaning. And you are soaking wet. Soft too. So soft. Jungkook scratches down your back and pulls you closer. His left hand cups your buttock and stills your hips this way. He pushes. The kiss breaks with your needy moan. You roll to your back just enough that Jungkook can prop himself up on his right elbow and use the angle to finally bottom out. Truly bottom out because the position finally gives him a chance to do so. Your leg is still around him, while the other is under his weight. You can feel his sculpted thigh shift and tense as he fucks you. His thrusts are sloppy and so perfectly uncoordinated that they seem coordinated. The mattress shakes because of it. 

You barely feel it because he is currently fucking the senses out of you. This is the kind of fuck which reminds you why he managed to steal your heart and the proof of why you could never want to leave him. It genuinely fucks every sense of control out of you and turns you into the neediest, wettest pillow princess in existence. Tonight it impacts you especially deeply, leaving you to arch your back and curl your toes.

“Bunny”, you moan embarrassingly high pitched, throwing your head back as best as possible while Jungkook shows off the strength of his hips, “Bunny, oh god. Ah Bunny.” 

“Mommy. So good, ah Mommy”, Jungkook moans and drops his head into the crook of your neck. He pulls you closer until your head rests on his right lower arm and you have his biceps brushing against your nose. The gentle headlock he has you in heals you from aches you didn’t even possess before. You are so safe like this. He smells hot. As if he is burning up.

“Bunny…”

You are burning up yourself, grasping his broad, muscular back as your only connection to sanity. He is making you cum and it’s happening soon.

“Don’t stop, please”, you beg.

“Mommy”, he moans and continues because he won’t ever ignore one of your begs. You don’t beg often, so when you do, Jungkook is overtaken with the need to fulfill your every wish. Which means a lot because he always wants to fulfill your every wish.

“You’re making me cum”, you choke out and sob softly as you hug him against you.

“Holy fuck”, Jungkook gets out and squeezes you strongly as your body falls into the high. You are so tight around him, burning up and throbbing. No wonder you are sobbing. Jungkook has to grit his teeth from how intense your orgasm feels to him and he isn’t even the one experiencing it. And there is one problem right now. He still needs it longer. He doesn’t know if he is holding back because he is greedy for more or if his body is just working this way right now, but he isn’t done even when you are already coming down. He needs more. He wants you longer.

You are soaking his cock, pulsating around him as you slowly recover and it’s fucking messing with him. He needs you. He needs you so bad.

Jungkook uses his strength and rolls you onto your back completely. His cock leaves you for a second, but you barely feel the disconnection as the darkness and your passed high leave you disoriented. Your legs are spread open, giving Jungkook a chance to take his cock and push it inside again.

Now you feel it. Now you’re whole again. You whimper, tensing up around him.

“Not done yet”, he rasps with his hand twisting the pillow next to your head. He bottoms out and chases you instantly. Fast and hard. He fucks the juices out of you, filling the air with the sounds of it just as he fills it with the sinful sounds of his naked body impacting with yours. The bed is sturdy and yet still croaks. His throaty grunts and guttural growls fill your ears as well. You know for a fact that he is frowning right now, gritting his teeth because he always does so when he fucks hard.

“Ju-Ju-Jungkook”, he fucks his name out of you. He is fucking his cock right against the spots which steal your sanity. You can’t stop getting wetter because of it. Every second with him feels fucking orgasmic, “Jungkook! Ah! Jungkook!”

You grip his arm. His muscles are so tense, bulging under your fingers as he drills you like an animal.

“Jun-Ju-Jungkoo-ook.” 

“Yeah, keep moaning my name Mommy”, he growls deeply and curses, “fuck, this is…fuck.”

“Jungkook, ah god Jungkook.”

“That’s it, Mommy. That’s it, keep moaning my name”, he encourages you and rewards you with harsher thrusts. Of course this wasn’t his final form yet. Not Jungkook. Not your husband. He will make you believe that the sex couldn’t get any better before showing you not to underestimate him. He fucks you deep into the mattress just as he fucks you deep into a blurred state of ecstasy.

You are utterly and entirely his right now. And you fucking like it, moaning his name as he rewrites your definition of pleasure one harsh thrust at a time. 

“I missed you”, he is using his deep voice to talk, “I thought of you, urgh, of you being mhm being cockstuffed with me, ah mhm I’m going crazy, Mommy. Fuck.” 

He could tell you everything right now and you would barely take it in. Your brain doesn’t work. You are so dumb right now. So utterly stupid. If you weren’t on your back, you would have drooled. Instead you sob his name and writhe desperately.

“Fuck”, Jungkook spits and growls. His hips stutter for only a second. This is how long he needs to find his composure again and then he is already drilling you again, pushing your body closer and closer to your orgasms, “have to go again?”

“Ye-yeah”, you keen, arching your back.

“Let go Mommy, I’m right here”, he tells you and cradles your cheek.

The touch is all that was missing. You break apart with a loud moan of his name and your fingers desperately twisting his hair. He fucked it out of you from the deepest parts of you, which makes it all the more intense. You can’t even moan as it happens. His name was all you managed to produce before your voice gave up on you. You can’t breathe either, lying there with your lips parted and your back arched as Jungkook drags heaven out of you.

Your second high gives him a hard time. The needy fucking he did brought him to the point where he has to let go even if he wanted to hold back longer. His cock aches, his balls feel tight and the tension in his stomach has reached a painful level. While your lungs aren’t working right now, his’ are working overtime, producing the neediest, quickest pants for air. He takes a deep breath and exhales it through his mouth, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

“I’m gonna cum inside”, he moans in a pitched voice. His hips stutter, but don’t lose speed, “gonna creampie your pussy so hard. Holy fuck, Mommy.”

You wrap your legs around him, closing your arms around him as well while your left hand buries itself deep in his hair and your right grabs his tense ass. You are barely present yet, but the need to feel him paint your walls gives you enough strength to pull him close.

“I love you”, he chokes out and lets go. He isn’t silent like you were. He is loud. Oh so loud that after a few seconds he needs to muffle himself by sucking on your neck.

“I love you too”, you whimper, “my loving counterpart.”

“Oh”, he sobs and pulls you closer, “my soulmate”, he squeaks and tenses up again, “no-not done. Ah!”

“Let it all out, fill me up Bunny. Please don’t hold back.”

Jungkook paints you white until it drips out of you and his body’s strength forsakes him. The comedown is intense. Because Jungkook never stopped fucking you even after your high stopped, you never got to calm down and because Jungkook fucked himself to the point of ruin he feels just as needing for your embrace.

“Are you okay?” he whimpers.

“Yeah. You?” you get out.

“Yeah.”

He shivers and twitches on top of you, blanketing you in under his body weight and the real covers. They slipped off his back in the rough fucking so that now, they are only covering your lower bodies. You don’t feel cold because you have him keeping you warm.

Neither you nor him can talk for the first few minutes, sharing forced silence as your brains try to relearn how to speak. His ears are ringing, you can feel your pulse in your head. You are both sweaty, the heat grows in your bodies now that you are so melted together. His cock softens slowly, still filling you up and keeping most of his seed inside. Good. You don’t want him to leave yet.

You finally have him back after more than a month and you would be a fool to break the connection sooner than necessary. You know that sooner or later you will have to stop this. Not only because of your important post-sex pee, but also because Jungkook can’t fall asleep like this.

At least this is what you believe. Jungkook is in the midst of drifting off to sleep. Jetlag, stress and exhaustion are finally catching up with him. Now that his mind is cleared of that initial dulling desire for you, it is finally truly sinking in that he is back home. And being back home means comfort and sleep. Still being inside and having you cockwarm him while your fingers are drawing hearts on his back forces even more sleepiness to the surface. He is home. Sleep can finally come.

“Bunny?” you whisper, scratching up his back gently. Goosebumps follow your touch. He shudders as you drag shivers out of him.

“Hm”, the sound barely wants to leave him. It tickles your neck.

“Are you falling asleep?”

He nods his head slowly.

“Don’t”, you chuckle softly, shaking him by his back gently, “the post sex pee.”

“I’m tired”, he breathes and sighs, “so tired. Work…hell.”

“I know, Bunnybaby I know. But spending your break from it having an UTI is gonna suck.”

“Not yet. Please.”

You give up fighting him, exhaling deeply through your nose. He sounds so needing of what you currently have. You need it as well. 

“Fine”, you say and fish for the blanket to pull it over your bodies, “a few more minutes.”

You hug him against you, cradling the back of his head. Jungkook sighs and relaxes on top of you.

“I fucking missed you, Kook.”

“I missed you too.”

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 11

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (p in v), kissing, suggestive, crying, cursing, fingering, biting, hair pulling, dubcon?, subspace, HardDom!Chan, SoftDom!Felix, fluff, angst, anxiety, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and probably more but idk let me know This one ain't as sweet as the last few

WC:6.8k

In a strange turn of events, it seems Chan woke up before you did this time. Not that you were complaining; especially when you awoke to him running his warm fingers over your mating mark absentmindedly, feeling the indented skin. Every little touch felt like electricity coursing through you, as if the zaps were bringing you back to life. Overall it was a very pleasant way to wake up. 

His hand that wasn’t touching your neck had his phone and he was listening to music with one ear bud in his ear on a low volume. You let out a low ‘hm’ letting him know you were awake now. 

“Good morning, my omega.” Chans voice was raspy from sleep. He must have only just woken up not long ago himself. He didn’t say anything else, just held you tighter.

Moments like this were Chan's favorite. Being able to wake up to you; his mate, his omega, the love of his life - there was nothing better. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been before having you here. He never felt as complete as he did right in this moment. 

“Can I listen with you?” You mumbled sleepily. You wanted to hear what your alpha listened to. Wordlessly he took his other earbud and slipped it into your own ear. ‘Give me love’ By Ed sheeran was playing through the bud, the sweet melodies flooding your senses. 

‘Give a little time to me or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

My, my, my, my, oh give me love’

It had been so long since you had heard this song, you used to sing this all the time in your room when you were younger and waiting to fall hopelessly in love. It felt fitting that now you were here laying in bed with your soulmate, who you had fallen hopelessly in love with. 

Chan began to sing along softly to the music playing, serenading you quietly.

‘Maybe I should let you go

You know I'll fight my corner

And that tonight I'll call ya

After my blood is drowning in alcohol

No I just wanna hold ya’

The alpha squeezed you a little tighter after he sang those words, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Your heart fluttered at the action. The two of you laid there together for probably an hour, just enjoying each other's company while he sang each song that played.

Eventually though, you both had to get up as there was work to be done. For Chan anyways. You had to make breakfast and get ready to leave with Jisung and Felix. Chan had a lot to do today himself. He had been neglecting his actual job in his family business and if he was going to take another day off tomorrow to go camping then he definitely needed to make all his calls and emails today. 

“Are you excited to do more shopping with the betas today?” the alpha asked as you were both getting out of bed. 

“Yes. I am.” You seemed apprehensive. 

“Buuuuut?” He pressed, knowing something was troubling you. 

“I just.. Feel bad.. About spending more of your money. I didn’t do anything to deserve you guys spending all this money on me.”  You were avoiding eye contact with him as you went to brush your teeth. 

Chan stopped you before you could enter his bathroom, arm out to block you. “Baby.” you kept your head down not wanting to look at him, now that you had embarrassed yourself again. When you didn’t acknowledge him he let out a frustrated growl, “Omega, look at me now.” you had no choice but to look at him, he used a command on you.

 You were lucky that was all he did, he had wanted to grip your hair and make you look at him forcefully. Chan had a problem when people didn’t listen to him, especially his omega.  Some would say he thrives off of non-sexual dominance. They would be correct. The alpha was used to getting his way practically his whole life. He would forgive you now, you were still learning. 

Instead of yanking your hair he settled for petting it softly. “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t intend to be mean to you.” At his gentle words and even gentler touch you forgot about the command being used on you, leaning into his hand. “You need to understand that my money is your money. In fact this whole packs money is yours to spend as you please. The other boys would agree with me. Ok?”  He waited for your words of agreement and when they didn’t come he egged them on. “You wanna be good for us right? Good omegas listen to their alphas.” 

You wanted to be good for him so badly, really it’s all you wanted. There was a glimpse of panic on your face at the prospect of upsetting your mate. “ I’ll be good! I promise!” You nodded rapidly. 

He gave you his signature boyish grin, dimples on display, then leaned in and gave you a kiss, nipping your lip as he pulled back. “I know you will, Baby. You’re the best Omega I know.” You purred at his praise, finding it addicting. “We gotta get a move on, lots to do today if we’re going camping tomorrow.” He let you go into the bathroom to do your business and such. 

You went to pick out an outfit for today, deciding to sport some jean shorts and a basic black tank top. After that you had a quick shower and did light makeup. Simple but you felt cute nonetheless. 

When you both finally made your way down to the main floor you found Minho and Changbin sat at the kitchen island making a list of what you would need for camping tomorrow. More like Minho had roped Changbin into helping him because the beta was a planner and liked to have things ready. 

“Finally! Hyung needs help deciding what to do for food  tomorrow and Saturday morning. Any suggestions?” Changbin exclaimed as he saw Chan, giving the older alpha pleading eyes. 

“Good morning to you too Changbin. Oh I slept great, thanks for asking.” Chan quipped sarcastically, and Changbin rolled his eyes with a groan of annoyance. 

“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” The younger alpha asked you, trying to get on his Hyungs nerves. He cackled when it worked, Chan letting out a huff. 

You giggled, “Morning, Binnie. I slept wonderfully. Thank you for asking.” 

“Yeah yeah good morning whatever, can we get back to this now?” Minho was getting frustrated, “We literally only have right now to think about this.” 

“Fine.” Changbin reached forward and grabbed you by the hips, laughing when you squealed, and setting you on his lap. “What do you think, baby? Any suggestions?” 

You leaned back against Changbins chest,  feeling the muscles behind you, head on his shoulder while you pondered. “Do you think we should do easy things? Like maybe bring a bunch of premade stuff like sandwiches and maybe breakfast burritos for the morning we can just wrap in foil and throw on the grill?” 

“That sounds like a great idea, omega.” Chan replied, leaning on the counter opposite you. 

“Yeah! To make it even easier we can place an order for them and pick them up from the diner in town before we leave tomorrow morning.” Changbin agreed, tickling your sides mercifully. He kissed the side of your head when you giggled at him, ignoring the throbbing in his pants caused by your squirming. “Smarty pants.” 

Minho nodded in agreement, writing down how many of each he approximated you would all need. “Ok so twenty of each.” 

“Twenty?! Why twenty of each, there are only nine of us!” You objected confused, looking at Minho as if he had grown a second head.

“Have you not seen how much these guys eat? Changbin himself could probably put away half of them if you’d let him.” He was looking back at you as if you were the crazy one. 

“Hey!” Changbin protested but didn’t fight too hard, knowing Minho was right. 

“Yeah Bin, you’ll probably end up eating both of yours and the rest of Felix’s like you always do.” Chan poked fun at the younger alpha. 

“What are we talking about? I heard my name.” right on queue Felix walked into the room you were all in. 

“We’re talking about the plans for tomorrow, trying to get things taken care of.” Minho sighed, standing from his seat. “Speaking of which, I need to make calls for these orders to be picked up in the morning and then get the other stuff together.” He seemed stressed as he walked away. 

“Is he ok?” You asked, worried for the beta. 

“Oh yeah he's fine, Min is a planner and likes to get things done in advance. He’s probably going to find Innie to make him help get all the camping stuff out of the garage.” Chan answered, taking an apple off the counter and taking a bite. 

At the sight of his apple you remembered your task, “ Do you guys want breakfast?” You went to hop down from Changbins lap but he only held you tighter against him, refusing to let you go. 

“Ji should be back any second with pasties and coffee. He wanted to surprise you baby. Annnnd now i’ve ruined it, fuck.” Felix cursed, looking remorseful at having spoiled the fun. 

Chan clicked his tongue in mock disappointment, shaking his head. “Way to go, Felix.” 

“Hey leave him alone, he's just a boy!” Changbin defended the beta playfully, you leaning into him and huffing in agreement. 

“Did somebody say Jisung?!?” A loud voice came from the front door, almost an announcement of his presence. A moment later the boy in question came sauntering in, sunglasses still over his eyes and holding a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries. 

“No.” Changbin laments, “Go away.” 

“Fine I guess you don’t want the cherry tart I got especially for you, Binnie.” Jisung made a show of wafting the bag up to his nose, “Mmmmm all for me then. Here is yours, my baby. A sweet treat for an even sweeter girl.” He handed you a chocolate croissant and a coffee. 

You felt your face heat up as you accepted the pastry. “Thank you Ji.” When Binnie was distracted making grabby hands at the bag that jisung had set down, you took the opportunity to slip off his lap. 

“Anything for you.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you closer to him. “Anyways, let's get this show on the road!” with his coffee in one hand and you in the other he set off towards the door. Chan held out a credit card for Jisung who happily snatched it. “Make sure she gets something nice. Our girl seems to have a problem with spending my money.” He winked at you as you passed. 

“Oh you know I have no problem spending daddy's money.” The beta cackled. 

“Wait for me!” Felix called, scooping his own items and following you out. 

“Bye baby!” Changbin yelled, crumbs flying out of his mouth. 

“Have a good time, omega.” 

“Bye Channie bye Binnie!” You called as you were going out the door.

To say Eun was happy to see you again was an understatement. The second you walked into her shop she had a tight grip on you, hugging the life outta you. The older woman was unable to hold back tears at the sight of the bite mark on your neck, wailing about how happy she was for you and Chan and that the alpha couldn’t be luckier to have landed such a fantastic omega. You had reassured her you were in fact the lucky one. 

It took another half an hour of chatting with her before she finally brought you out some swimsuits to try on. You had picked out a few modest one pieces for yourself but her and the boys suggested (demanded) you try on their picks first, an array of bikinis. You had never worn a bikini before so trying them on and modeling them was making you nervous. 

You had chosen a basic white one to start. You figured you would start plain and work up to getting more comfortable. You thought it was cute but knew it wouldn't be the one.  Thus began you trying a few different ones until you found one you liked. It had been almost 20 minutes since you had gone into the dressing room and the beta boys were getting antsy waiting for you to come out. 

“Everything alright in there, baby?” The deep honey tones of Felix's voice called out to you. 

“Y-yeah.” you stuttered, debating whether or not to come out. “I’ve never- never worn a bikini before and I’m a little nervous.” you admitted. 

“If you’re really not comfortable you can try something else, we won’t be mad or disappointed.” He reassured you. 

You felt better at his words, taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain and revealing yourself. 

Both Jisung and Felix felt their eyes widen and hearts stop at the sight of you. You had decided on a little purple bikini with stars on it. It was so you. The swimsuit fits you like a glove and goes perfectly with your skin tone. 

They both had been too busy admiring you to say anything and in turn their silence made you self conscious. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms and going to shuffle back into the fitting room.

“NO!” they yelled in unison looking at you in panic now. Felix tried to compose himself but Jisung did not, falling to the floor at your feet. 

“I’m sorry baby! You look so, so good we couldn’t help but stare!” He pleaded, his heart thumping wildly. 

Felix nodded in agreement, now more embarrassed than anything at his fellow betas' antics. 

“ Please don’t turn away from us. We didn’t mean to make you feel any negativity. We love the suit. It fits you so well!” 

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You asked skeptically, still covering yourself. 

“Baby, my baby, omega, believe me when I say this, if you don’t get that swimsuit I will literally drop dead.” Jisung was so serious from his place on the floor, not one hint of deception on his face. “I simply cannot go on living any longer knowing I will never again get to see your beauty in this bikini - which was made for you by the way- and soon I'll die. In fact even hearing you say it was a bad idea almost killed me on the spot.”

“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic!” Eun called out walking up to the three of you. “But you do look fantastic in that one, Y/n. It would be a real crime if you didn’t get it.” She winked. 

It seemed all three betas were rooting for this one so it seemed your fate was sealed. 

“I-if you’re all sure…” You trailed off, letting your arms fall to your sides now. 

“Never been more sure about anything, sweetheart.” Felix gave you his charming smile. 

You hummed, “Fine. I’ll get this one.” There was a round of cheers then Eun went to ring you up, adding a few more pieces she thought would suit you. 

Felixs’ big errand was buying blue hair dye. Apparently he used to have blue hair but it's been a while and he’s ready to feel like himself again. He was too precious. You wondered if Chan would be ok with you dying your hair, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask. Jisung tried to convince you to get some purple dye anyway and not tell him but you were too chicken shit to do something like that. 

“Do you wanna help me dye mine, baby? I would love your company.” Felix asked you, crinkling his eyes at you. 

Pulling back up to the house you found Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin outside putting some large camping items in the back of a truck. By the looks of it they had already loaded a grill and a few tents. Minho sure didn’t waste time. “There you are, now you can help too.” He eyed the younger boys. 

“Actually y/n and I have a few things to do.” Felix grabbed your hand as you got out of the car, his other hand holding your bags. “Sungie would love to help you tho, i'm sure.”

“What?! Traitor!” Jisung complained but was quick to change his tune when Min gave him the evil eye. “I mean, yay packing.” 

“We all have to do our part. You included.” Jeongin snickered, handing the beta a bag to put in the car. “At least you didn’t have to make a store run like Hyun and Bin hyung.” 

“This was your idea! You should be doing all the work!” 

Felix pulled you along into the house, quickly to go undetected “come on before they rope us into helping.” he whispered. 

Both of you went up the stairs into Felix's bathroom after you dropped your bags off in your room. Passing Chan's office you could faintly hear the alpha in there on the phone, probably talking with a client. The fact that he works so hard so his pack could have the life they live was astounding. Chan really was a great alpha. 

Entering the bathroom Felix reached under the sink for plastic gloves for you to use, and set up the dye. You had helped your old best friend dye her hair a few times so the process was familiar to you. Thankfully his hair was already bleach blonde so you didn’t have to worry about trying to bleach it.  

You loved spending time with Felix. Really you loved any one on one time with the boys but you and Felix hadn’t spent time like this since your first day. That felt like so long ago when in reality had only been over a week. They say time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones. 

You were discussing what you wanted to plant in the greenhouse when you came back from camping. Cucumbers, pumpkins and peppers were at the top of your list, while Felix requested some carrots and spinach if you could find the room. In only a few hours you had finished dying his hair and had just helped him wash out the dye. He had chosen a beautiful blue for his hair. It seemed to compliment him perfectly. Now it seemed like he was representing who he truly was, with his hair being a clear sky and he himself was the sun. 

“You’re all finished! It looks so good on you Lix!” You were enthused, pleased with the finished product. 

“All thanks to you baby.” He pulled a blow dryer from under the sink and plugged it in. “Now I'm gonna dry it. Do you wanna help me style it?” Felix really just wanted to be around you more, he wanted to be selfish if only for a while. 

“Sure Lixie.” you beamed, reaching for the dryer. You were sitting on the bathroom counter while Felix stood directly in front of you. You turned it on a low setting and grabbed a brush in your other hand,  he leaned closer to you and came to stand between your legs.

 You began to dry and style his hair, neither of you saying anything now but it not being uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Being close with him reminded you of the kiss he shared with you last night.  Not you nor he had brought up the kiss, and he also hadn’t kissed you since. ‘Maybe he regretted kissing me’ the thought weighed heavy on your mind. 

Little did you know it was the exact opposite. The only thing on Felix's mind right now was kissing you. He was just worried you hadn’t liked it since you didn’t say anything about it, but you also weren’t acting any different. He was so close to you he could almost taste you, remembering the way your lips did even for that brief moment. 

You finished with his hair and set down the tools on the countertop beside you. You were still facing him, afraid to break the silence or to move from your place in front of him. All you could do was focus on each other. 

Slowly and timidly, Felix leaned closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face and his scent get even stronger, and Felix gingerly let his lips find yours. Your eyes closed on instinct as you pressed yours to his in return. 

‘Finally’ your inner voice said. 

When Felix felt you reciprocate his kiss he let out a small whimper, you wouldn’t have even heard it if you weren’t so close to him. His hands fell to your waist and he shuffled even closer to you when you parted your legs further to allow him to make the connection between you. Your own hands were on his shoulders. 

The beta didn’t go any further and settled for what you were giving him. He wanted to go at your pace, afraid he would do something to scare you off. While you did enjoy his kiss it suddenly was not enough for you so you took the initiative to gently run your tongue along his lip. When he felt your tongue he whimpered again this time a little louder. His sounds were doing something to you and without thinking you rolled your hips against his. 

When your pelvis made contact with his it’s like the damn broke for him and he let the niceties fall. Felix started to ravage your mouth now with his own tongue, his hands gripping you tighter and his own hips doing a roll. Your breath caught in your throat as a quiet moan escaped your lungs. 

He held you like that for a while, you both basically dry humping on the counter and tasting each other's mouths. Eventually it was becoming too much for the beta, he knew he would cum in his pants soon and he did not want to do that in front of you. He pulled back from your lips , only a few inches apart. 

“Do you want to go further with me, baby?” He prayed you said yes. You had him so worked up he didn’t think jerking off would suffice anymore. 

“Please, Lixie. Wanna feel you.” 

Fuck 

That was all he needed to lift you from the counter onto your feet, then he grabbed the bottom of your tank top and pulled it off of you. He groaned at the sight of your lace bra. You made grabby hands at his own shirt and pulled it over his head. 

Felix was so defined. He was so tiny the thought had never even crossed your mind that he could also be ripped. You didn’t have much time to stare before he was turning you around to face the mirror with his hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. “Can I take you like this, Baby? Let me see all of you?” He let a hand creep up your back to the clasp on your bra, but not yet taking it off. 

You nodded, and answered “Uh huh. Yes lixie.” You were so ready for him. Honestly you had been wet since before you styled his hair. You would be surprised if Felix somehow didn't notice the sickly sweet pheromones that were draining out of you.

Felix unclasped your bra  with nimble fingers and let it fall away from you. “Oh my god you're so beautiful.” He groaned out when he saw your bare chest. That same hand came to the front of your body and found your right breast, his thumb coming up to rub over your nipple. Now it was your turn to moan out, leaning closer to his chest. “Put your hands on the counter in front of you, baby.” 

You did so without complaint and put your palms flat on the surface. He fondled your chest for a few minutes, taking in all the little sighs and moans you would let out as he watched your expressions in the mirror, finding it addicting. When you pushed your ass back into his crotch he let out an almost silent growl, nipping into the skin on your neck that he had been kissing. Suddenly he released you and went to the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs with no warning taking your underwear with them. 

Felix didn’t know what was overtaking him but he didn’t mind it. He was never this assertive when having sex but something about you made him want to take control. Whether it was your omega status or just your submissive nature in general he couldn’t be sure. Probably a combination of both. You certainly were not complaining, liking this sudden dominant side of the man. 

The beta pulled down his own pants and underwear next, eager to have the constricting material off. There you both were, naked and breathing heavy in anticipation. Your eyes were locked in the mirror as Felix reached under both of you and his fingers found your bundle of nerves. You gasped when he touched the sensitive area, eyes closing only for a second. He could feel just how drenched you were for him. 

It was at this point that Felix realized he did not have a condom in here.’ Are you fucking kidding me?’ he momentarily chastises himself. “Ummm baby?” you hummed in response, waiting in anticipation. “I sorta don’t have a condom…” 

“Oh.” you froze. “Th-then we can, umm, maybe we should stop.” 

“Do you want to stop?” He desperately did not want to, he literally didn’t know if he could at this point. 

“N-no but Chan and the doctor said-” 

“But I can pull out.” He eagerly proposed, he had never been a rule breaker but right now he really did not give a shit. Consequences be damned. “Come on omega, it’ll feel so good.”

“I don’t know, lix…” You trailed off, unsure. "Channie wouldn't like it.." You didn’t want to disobey but one look at his pleading face behind you and you gave in. “If you promise to pull out…” 

“I promise,” he said immediately. You nodded hesitantly giving him the go ahead as you readied yourself against the counter once more. "God, you are so hot."

The beta placed a kiss to your neck before taking his member in his hand and lining up with your entrance. He hadn’t prepped you like he should have but honestly when you were both that desperate that was the farthest thing from his mind. He let the tip run through your slick that had accumulated to make it an easier entry. Felix slowly pushed into you from behind, the stretch of him leaving a slight burn and you lightly hissed at the intrusion. 

Felix on the other hand was in heaven. He had never felt so incredible from one push but fuck you were so tight.  “Fuck omega, your pussy is so tight, nnggg oh my god I don’t know how I'll be able to move, fuck baby.” Felix couldn’t shut up as he filled you. His words were helping you though, as he stopped moving to let you adjust while he mumbled. 

Between his jumbled (what you assumed were) praising words he laid sloppy kisses to your bare shoulders, his saliva leaving wetness along your skin. You were absolutely reeling; between feeling him within you and his total personality flip that left you with whiplash, your brain was turning into a muddled mess. It got even worse when he started rutting into you from behind, his hips grinding harshly against your ass.

His chest pushed you further into the counter and with the new angle his cock hit something deep inside you. Your back arched as you moaned aloud, your head falling forward in your ecstasy. 

“F-fuuckk baby, you are so good f’ me. So so good, oh my god.” his deep voice was getting raspier by the second. Felix reached his hand around, his small fingers finding your clit again and rubbing sloppy circles.  His other hand went to your breast and massaged your sensitive skin. “Look at me, baby, please look at me.” 

You mustered all your willpower to bring your head up as much as you could, looking through your wet lashes to his gaze in the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, his eyes glossed over as he drooled on you. At the sight of him, fucked out because of you, you felt your orgasm approaching and approaching fast. “F-felix ‘m gonna- gonna cum.” 

“Please cum for me. I need you to cum for me.” He sped up his thrusts, humping into you desperately. He was close to. The pulsing of his dick within you sent you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry of his name. 

The squeezing of your heat on his member was enough for him. The beta knew he wouldn’t be able to pull out in time but he still tried, cumming half inside and the rest on your ass. The second he came his urges took over completely and without a warning, his teeth embedded themselves in your shoulder blade. When his teeth made contact in your skin you moaned as another orgasm washed over you. 

You both were panting hard, you with tears cascading down your cheeks and Felix with your blood on his lips. It took you a moment to catch both of your breaths, the severity of what had happened finally registering in both of your minds. 

“Felix…” 

“Yeah” 

“You came in me.”

“Yeah”

“Do you think Chan will be mad?”

“Yep”

“Oh. Did you mean to bite me?” 

“Um, n-no.” He stammered, “ It had been on my mind since a few days ago when Chan said we could.” 

‘Chan had said that?’ 

“But I didn't really expect to.” He grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the dripping mess he made on your skin.  “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I'm kinda in love with you.” he chuckled nervously. 

You spun around at his confession, not really shocked. You were able to feel his emotions when he bit down on you. It wasn’t as intense as when Chan bit into you - given he is an alpha and he bit your mating gland - but you could still sense the betas to an extent. “Felix…” you let more salty tears trail down your face. “I…I kinda love you too.” 

Now he was crying, unable to contain his emotions and he fell into your embrace. Both of you were just little crybabies. Maybe that is why you got on so well together. It was easy to be vulnerable with him. 

It was easy with Felix. So you both just hugged, and whispered to each other there in the bathroom.  Both dreading the storm that was your alpha. 

Sometime later after you had both redressed and Felix cleaned the wound on your shoulder, you both exited the bathroom. You shared a final kiss before parting ways. Felix going down the stairs and you going into Chan's office. The guilt was going to eat you alive if you didn’t tell him (assuming he couldn’t smell it on you when you came in). 

You heard more faint talking so you knocked and waited. You heard him thank whoever he was talking to and hang up. “Come on in,  baby.” He called out to you. You opened his door slowly and saw him sitting at his desk. His nostrils flared when you entered his office. 

Chan obviously knew what you were doing with Felix, but he didn’t know the dirty secret you were keeping. Upon your entry into his office you were emitting a scent you hadn’t produced in a few days; intense guilt. 

“What’s wrong, omega?” He immediately questioned you, reaching his hands out for you. When he noticed your hesitancy to grab his hand he stood from his seat and rested his hands on your shoulders, bending to be eye level with you. “Did something happen? Did Felix do something to you?” 

“No!” you answered quickly. “I mean, not really.” 

“Then what's wrong? You can't keep secrets from me, I can smell it on you.” 

You looked down to the floor shamefully before giving him an answer. “When Felix and I were..intimate, he sorta.. He didn’t wear anything… and he umm he kinda came in me a little bit..” Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you saw the hardened look in the alphas face, his eyes darkening at your admittance. 

“Is that so?” He seemed eerily calm, if you knew anything about alphas it’s that they are prone to rage so the fact that he didn’t immediately lash out was kind of scary to you. Little did you know he was furious. 

“I’m really sorry, Channie. I-i know i wasn’t supposed to but-” 

“Go to our room.” He interrupted you, removing his hands from you. 

“W-what?” 

He let out a low growl, “Go. to. Our. room. Omega, now.” 

You gave him a look of alarm at his menacing tone, but still scurried out of his office and to his room. You shut the door softly and then sat on the bed, awaiting your fate. You hadn’t seen Chan angry yet, you didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t strike you as the type to scream and throw things like your father had been, but to be fair you had only known him for just over a week. 

After about ten minutes Chan walked through the door into the space you occupied. He still had that intimidating demeanor but he seemed to be keeping his cool. He skipped the formalities as he spoke to you though, “ Take off your clothes and get in the shower.” 

You stood from your seated position and started to strip, gently placing your clothes down in the hamper before slowly making your way to the bathroom. The whole time he just watched you as if you were a prey animal, and he was the big bad wolf.  

Once you turned on the water to his shower it only took a moment for it to get hot and you entered the shower. It was a spacious area, with sliding glass and a shower head that rained down from the ceiling. Any other time you would have found solace in the luxurious bathroom, but right now all you felt was anxious. 

Chan didn’t say anything as he slipped into the shower with you a few moments later. In fact he hadn’t said anything at all as he helped you wash your hair, he only shushed you when you went to speak. It wasn’t until he grabbed a loofa and began rubbing down your body from behind with it that he spoke. “ This is a nice bite mark here on your shoulder. Did Felix do that to you?” You went to nod in response but that wasn’t what the alpha was looking for, and he used one hand to reach onto the base of your head and gripped your hair tightly, causing you to let out a squeak. “I asked you a question, omega, and I expect an answer.” 

“Yes, yes Alpha he did.” You gasped out, falling quickly into an uncharted subspace. Your inner omega only wanted to please your alpha now. His actions and words were shocking to you, he wasn’t being the Chan you knew him to be. You had seen small glimpses here and there but never to this extent.

“Did he bite you while he was cumming inside of you?” His grip on your hair tightened in one hand while his other brought the loofa down between your legs. 

“Yes alpha.” You tilted your head back trying to get some slack but it proved pointless. 

“Do you remember the conversation we had with the doctor yesterday, omega?” He knew you did, or else you wouldn’t have come to him so guiltily. 

“Yes I re-remember” You stuttered, your insides fluttering with both excitement and anxiety. 

“What did he say to us about when having sex?” His lips were kissing your injured skin on your shoulder where your new bite mark resided. 

“To-to use protection until my results come in and I can go on-on birth control.” your panting was getting stronger as you tried to forget about the pain on your scalp. 

“Mm that is right, baby.” chans tongue dug into your injured skin, causing you to let out a quiet cry. “Ya know what the rule was and still deliberately did otherwise. What am I going to do with you?”  It was a rhetorical question meant to tease you. You started to cry at his words. 

“ m’ so sorry Alpha. Please don’t be angry. M’ sorry.” He leaned over to lick up the salty tears that were coming down steadily now. 

“Oh baby, I know you're sorry. Alpha knows.” you perked up slightly but it all came crashing down when he said his next words, “But just because you're sorry doesn’t mean there are no consequences.” 

He dropped the sponge to the ground and that hand grabbed both of your wrists holding them together behind your back and pushing you against the cold tile, your chest smushing against the wall. “Ahh Chan!”

“Spread your legs. Let me in there, omega.” you did as he said, and he wasted no time in rubbing the tip of his cock along your sensitive folds. “Funny enough, I had just talked to the doctor on the phone before you came into my office, stinking like guilt and cum.” The alpha pressed you harder against the tile. “And it turns out you wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant right now, those suppressants  are running crazy all over your body and hormones.”

 Without warning he pushed into your heat, your sore walls engulfing him completely. He was so big. Even though you had been prepped by Felix so recently, taking the alpha was a whole other ball game. The only time he had really fucked you was on your heat, where your body was ready to accommodate his length.

“R-really?” you asked in a moan, both in pleasure and pain. 

“Uh huh. How lucky is that?” He started at a brutal pace, the skin of his pelvis slapping against your ass noisily. “Still doesn’t excuse your actions. The both of you have to make it up somehow.” 

“Please, m’ sorry.” you pleaded between moans and squeaks. His cock always filled you so well.

“This bite mark he left you sure is deep. You know Felix would only bite someone he loves.” Your heart fluttered at his remark, and it seemed your pussy did too. “Fuck so tight. Did you know that, omega? Your pussy tightened on me so you must know. Felix loves you, and now I'm sure you love him too huh?” 

“Yes alpha!” you cried louder as his wet heaving chest was pressed against your back.

“Maybe that should be your punishment. Yeah that's it, since both of you want to disobey me then that's the consequence.’ your eyes widened, having an inkling of what he would say next. 

“You aren’t allowed to touch him, at all, until I say so. No kissing, no fucking, no so much as brushing fucking fingers with him until I've deemed it acceptable. Fuck maybe I won’t even let him speak to you from now on.” 

“Alpha no!” You tried to protest but he only sped up his thrusts, making you only be able to moan and cry. Fuck he was fucking you so good. Better than anything you have ever felt. He had you so deep in space you could barely focus on anything than that thin line between pain and pleasure.

“Too fucking late. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me, omega? Damn, I'm gonna cum. He won’t so much as breathe in your direction until I say so.” The alpha let go of your hair and you sucked in a large breath at the release. He opted for gripping your hips roughly, his fingers surely to leave bruises. 

Your arms were free now so with one hand you braced yourself against the cold surface, the other was reaching behind you to grab at your mate, craving even an ounce of comfort as you were nearing your high. You made contact with the skin on his waist and dug your fingers into him. 

When you grabbed him the alpha let go and released inside of you with a loud growl, the copious amount overflowing against his length. His knot inflated within you, locking you into place with him. His growl set something inside of you aflame and without warning you came too, a loud wail leaving your lips and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You wretch your head to the side bearing your neck for your alpha, giving him your complete submission. He almost took the opportunity to reclaim you, but knew you had enough biting for one day.

Chan stilled his hips, breathing heavy in your ears as he let you come down. He watched the cum fall down from where you were joined and be washed away with the water. After a moment when his knot had deflated, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing the back of your neck and whispering praises. He knew it would be a long night of aftercare. 

A/n: True colors are starting to come out a lil more, not everything is all sunshine and rainbows

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii

©doitforbangchan

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[girlgenius1111]

you don't have to pretend with me

ona x reader -sickfic ish

from a request- the req was for r with chronic pain but i've never experienced that and i didn't want to write it incorrectly, so i changed it to something i have some history with :)

You hadn't had a real period in years, having been on birth control since you were a teenager. It really limited the effects of your horrible symptoms. It was simple- a shot in your ass every three months was something you could handle. However, you'd completely forgotten to get it this time. Normally you planned your next visit at the end of your appointments, but the secretary had been out, so you were supposed to call to schedule the next appointment. It had completely slipped your mind, and by the time your realized your mistake, it was too late, and they told you that you had to wait 3 months from when you were supposed to get it, in order to not mess up the cycle.

It didn't really make much sense to you, but you didn't have a choice. All you could hope was that it wouldn't be as bad as you remembered it. The first month wasn't bad, barely more than what you usually dealt with on the shot. The second month was worse, but still, manageable, especially considering it came during an off week. You were quickly approaching the third month, and you knew it wouldn't be as easy this time.

2 days before you were supposed to get it, you found yourself in a heinous mood. You'd been short with everyone, all day, even Ona. Ona, your girlfriend, who had literally no idea what was going on. It felt ridiculous to you, to complain about what was going on when every other woman dealt with it to. You'd never heard Ona complain about her period, and you didn't want her to think you were weak.

More than that, you weren't sure she'd believe you. In your last relationship, anytime you were sick or in pain, your girlfriend didn't believe you, or told you that you were being dramatic. You didn't really realize how this affected your relationship with Ona, but as you hadn't told her this, she didn't know you'd been hiding almost any sign of weakness from her.

So, you just mumbled something about having an off day when she asked why you were so grumpy. She pretty much left you alone the rest of the day, giving you the space she assumed you wanted. The only time she spoke to you was to come into the living room where you were curled up on the couch, and wish you a goodnight, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead.

-----

You woke up in the middle of the night to the sensation that someone was standing on your abdomen. It had been so long since you'd actually had cramps, you were almost alarmed, until you realized what was going on. You didn't want to get any blood on the bed, nor did you want to wake Ona up for something so trivial, so you quietly padded into the bathroom, changed your pajama shorts, and then headed out into the kitchen in search of some painkillers.

Every step was agony, and you were walking hunched over, as what you could only describe as lightning strikes of pain rippled through from your belly button down to your core whenever you tried to straighten up. You didn't make it to the cabinet you kept the medicine in, instead collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. As soon as you sat, the zaps of pain were replaced by a continuous ache across your stomach, and around to your back.

You couldn't help the groan you let out, as you twisted uncomfortably in your seat to try to relieve the pain. It didn't work. You knew what would work, but you were absolutely sure you couldn't stand up again and make it to the medicine cabinet. Instead, you put your head in your hands, feeling tears slowly leak out of your eyes. That only made you more frustrated, which in turn made you cry harder, until you were trying to stifle sobs with your hands at the kitchen table, in the dark, at 1am.

-----

Meanwhile, Ona woke to an empty bed. She remembered you climbing in with her after she'd already gone to sleep, waking up just enough to roll into you and smush herself as close as she could. This time, though, your side of the bed was empty and cold, and Ona was disgruntled. Sleepy Ona was a grumpy Ona, something you knew very well, and she squinted her eyes open, looking over at the bathroom door, seeing if you'd just gotten up briefly. The light was off in there, though, and your side of the bed wasn't warm, indicating that you'd been up for at least a couple minutes. Sighing heavily, Ona sat up, intending to wait for you, arms crossed, to return to bed. When she saw no lights were on in the rest of the house, though, she decided to get up and find you.

The only thing she could think was that you'd gone to sleep on the couch, which didn't make any sense. You'd been grumpy yesterday, sure, but you'd gone to bed with her, and allowed her to snuggle up to you, which you wouldn't have done if you were angry. Walking down the hall, heading for the living room, she heard an odd noise in the kitchen.

She changed directions, turning right instead of left, and discovered you, slouched over at the table, crying softly into your hands. Ona was immediately distraught at the idea of you getting up in the middle of the night and leaving your bed to cry by yourself, no matter what the reason, and not waking her.

"Cariño, qué pasó?" she asked, voice raspy with sleep. At her words, your head snapped up, looking at Ona with pain etched clearly across your face. "Amor," she says sympathetically, moving forward to stand by your side.

"Oni, go back to bed," you try, attempting to sound firmer than you felt.

"Not until you tell me what is wrong." Ona replies, actually succeeding in being firm. She brushes a loose strand of hair off your face, then combs her fingers through you hair. You melt at her touch despite yourself, before you hunch over again, another wave of pain shooting through your abdomen; you'd straightened up to much. You whimper quietly, and Ona's hand pulls off of you, worried she'd done something to hurt you. That gets you talking, never wanting Ona to think she's the cause of your pain.

"It's just cramps, Ona, I'm fine," you insist, even as your face scrunches uncomfortably, and you grit your teeth through another jolt. Though confused, seeing as though she'd never known you to have bad cramps, Ona wraps her arms around you without another thought, lifting you easily to carry you back to bed. She may be short, but she prides herself on being strong enough to carry you easily, despite your many objections. "Oni," you whine, yet still, you clutch onto her tightly, resting your head on her shoulder.

"Shh, let's get you back to bed."

Once Ona gently places you back on your side of the bed, she stands back, looking at you with a determined expression. It's almost funny really, the girl standing in front of you, wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts, wavy hair wild around her head, trying to look stern. Ona couldn't look stern, she wasn't capable. She could only ever look adorable, at least to you.

"What will help you feel better?" She asks.

You bite your lip for a moment, before the pain wins out over your independence. "Paracetamol, please," you murmur.

She nods once. "Anything else?"

You're sure there's something you're forgetting, but it's been so long since you've had cramps like this, and it hurts too bad for you to think straight. "I don't know," you whisper finally, tears spilling over again.

"Okay amor, relax, I will take care of you," the brunette says gently, leaving you with a peck on your forehead. She's only gone for a few minutes, but when she returns, you've curled yourself into a little ball on the edge of the bed, as far from her side as you could get, obviously trying not to bother her. Ridiculous, considering she wasn't going back to sleep until after you did.

She gives you the medicine, handing you a new cold water which you accept gratefully. Then, before you can tell Ona to get back in bed, she leaves the room again. She returns fast this time, holding something in her hands you don't recognize.

The defender doesn't explain, either, even though she notices the questioning look on your face. Instead, she climbs onto the bed behind you, and nudges you out of your ball to lay in between her legs, head resting back on her chest. Still silent, she rolls your shirt up, massaging the skin of your abdomen lightly. Her warm hands feel so good, you let out a sound of relief. Smiling to herself, Ona places the heating pad she brought with her across your abdomen, clicking it on. You soften completely against her, letting out a long sigh.

"Thanks, Oni," you mumble, and she kisses the top of your head in response. She isn't done with you though, patting your arm lightly when your eyes flutter close.

"Do you normally have cramps this bad?" she asks, because the thought of you hiding this from her, like you'd been doing tonight, once a month for the entirety of the time you've been dating, makes her nauseous.

"No," you tell her sleepily, briefly explaining the situation you'd found yourself in. Ona is quiet for a few moments.

"Why didn't you tell me? And why didn't you wake me up tonight?" she wonders, not able to fully hide the hurt in her voice. You're fully awake now, almost reading her mind as you realize what she's worried about; that you don't trust her.

"I didn't think it was a big deal," you say quickly. "And I didn't want to bother you with it, with something that every woman deals with," you justify.

"Amor, you hurting will always be a big deal to me." Ona insists. "You should have woken me up. Do you... do you not trust me? Did I do something to make you thing I would not take your pain seriously?" the brunette asks, and you wince at the question. This was your problem, not Ona's. Could she not see that?

"No, Oni, of course I trust you. It's... it's not about you." You pause. "I didn't want you to think I was being dramatic or weak."

"Why would I think that? Why would I not believe you when you say you are hurting?"

All she gets is a shrug in response, and she feels you shutting down again. Unwilling to let that happen, she presses you further.

"No, amor, tell me. Did someone make you feel that way? Like you could not be honest about how you were feeling?"

You don't respond for so long that Ona thinks you've fallen asleep, or just aren't going to answer.

"My ex. She used to tell me I was being dramatic when I was sick. She was right though, I was," you rush to justify.

Ona's arms tighten around you slightly, and it reassures you. When she responds, you recognize an angry tone in her voice, but also a protective one.

"That is not what a good girlfriend does. I will never do that. You are allowed to be in pain, and be sick. You are not being dramatic for feeling things. It does not make me think any less of you, and it certainly does not make me think that you are weak." Ona declares.

"Are you sure? I'd understand if you thought I was exaggerating." you say quietly. At this, Ona tilts your chin up and to the side, so she can look into your eyes.

"I found you crying at the kitchen table, you were in so much pain. That is not dramatic, not to me. I am sure." Ona promises, and she feels you relax against her, if only slightly.

"I love you," you say quietly, voice cracking on the last word.

"Te amo mucho, cariño. Mucho mucho." Ona pairs her words with several gentle kisses pressed into the side of your head.

"Ona?"

"Sí?"

"Can I go to sleep or will this light on fire if I don't turn it off," you ask seriously, referring to the heating pad laying across your abdomen. You've never used one before, and you aren't sure what the safety requirements are. Apparently, this is a dumb question, because Ona bursts out laughing, disturbing the quiet murmur of voices you both had been keeping to.

"Sí amor, you can go to sleep. I'll put you out if you light on fire, te prometo," she tells you, still laughing. You roll your eyes slightly before allowing them to flutter shut, even though you know Ona can't see the gesture.

"Wake me up if it starts to hurt again?" she asks, seriousness returning.

"Te prometo," you say, echoing her words for just a second ago. A grin tugs at Ona's lips at your spanish use.

"Bueno. Goodnight my pretty girl," Ona whispers into your hair, her use of an english term of endearment making you blush.

With that, both of you allow yourselves to drift off. You're sure, now, that Ona will not care if you wake her up. Ona is sure that you will wake her up. Or, that she'll wake up if you do, seeing as though you're sprawled on top of her. She doesn't expect perfection, or for you to start coming to her with all your problems right away. She finds that she doesn't mind having to demonstrate her love to you, though. If there's anything she loves to do, it's remind you, everyday, that she loves you unconditionally.

-----

[toast-on-dandelioms]

How would the Batfamily and Venom react to the reader starting to see Superman as a father and having a secret desire to want to live with him and his family?

Ohhh, they would hate it. All of the Batfamily would hate it. Especially Alfred but he would stay silent and just tell Bruce.

Bruce would feel even more horrible since he knows how he treated you, especially with Venom taunting him.

He already feels bad about being a horrible father to you but when he sees you treating Clark, one of his 'enemies', as your father he would feel so much worse.

He would hate to do that but he would manage to make Venom modify your memories or make Clark someone you don't see as a father but a friend.

He also would spend even more time with you, you think that you felt soffucated before? Oh you don't know how much the man is desperate to make up for years of neglect. He would spend almost everyday with you, taking you everywhere and following you if you need the bathroom but would wait outside to 'respect' the last bit of privacy you still had.

He would also slowly manipulate you while you spend time with him, wanting you to see him as your father and not some guy you absolutely loathe. It's a slow process, especially since the hatred you have for anyone who's a Wayne is so deep that even Venom has trouble to change it slowly so you won't notice it.

Dick would be devastated and won't even try to hide that he knows even though Bruce told him to be subtle. He would tackle you on the couch/bed and bawl his eyes out while apologising about being such a horrible brother that you would want to stay with Clark.

God he would be so dramatic and trying to guilt trip you, which backfires with you reminding him of every time he ditched you and called you the wrong name for Damian or Tim.

Which makes him even more desperate to make you stay, even considering breaking your legs even though Venom would heal them.

You would think Jason won't be mad about it and actually support you since he says that he hates Batman but god you were wrong.

He wouldn't hurt you, but would manipulate you in making you stay by doubting your relationship with Clark and making you think he just saw you as another annoying kid.

Jason would be one of the worst ones to find out, he would do everything to stop you from going with Clark.

He can't just let you leave, not when he still didn't make up for the fact that he let another person get ruined because of Bruce.

Tim would resent the kryptonian and make sure to find ways to make Clark visit you, even when he brings his sons so they can finally meet you.

He would spend even more time with you if that was possible but is not overly clingy like Dick or very clearly manipulating you like Jason.

He just spends time with you, playing games and others to try and distract you from Clark. Which you would like after being hugged and bothered by his older brothers.

Damian would be silent and not really say anything. Which is weird since he usually never shuts up about everything he can do to show off.

He would be a bit clingy, which he wasn't before, and just ask forgiveness for whatever he did in the past.

Which would surprise both you and Venom. You won't forgive him immediately, like come on, the kid tormented you for years, but you will make a small effort to interact with him.

Especially seeing him actually cry, making you hug him and not see his smirk since you're doing exactly what he wants you to do.

Sorry if it's a bit short, I am a bit sick and busy but I hope you all like it!

[antiwhores]

I am screaming crying throwing up at how good your writing is my horny ass self THANKS YOU

if i may please make a request 👉🏼👈🏼 could we have a pussy eater bakugo fic 😮‍💨 lives in my head rent free

Bakugou eating you out

Sorry this took so long, ive been tryna run my W’s up. THANK YOU!! And enjoy

Bakugou loves to eat your pussy, no matter what you have to say about it.

Pussy eating ofc, mentions of all types of freplay and shit, sex, dub-con if you squint, voyeurism, etc.

Bakugou has never been a very shy person. Nothing about the way he carried himself is shy. When you think of antonyms for shy you think of Bakugou Katsuki.

That’s why you found yourself confused the first time he went down on you.

The farthest you had gone prior was dry humping and mutual masturbation. Giving and recieving head was a big deal for the both of you. It was the next step before penetration.

Bakugou was timid and careful when he opened your legs. It was like he thought you’d jump away and never come back if he made too sudden of a move. It was weird yet endearing since Bakugou was so aggressive when chasing pleasure while he dry humped you.

That careful attitude only lasted so long though. After a couple times, especially after you had gone all the way, he had been a lot more… demanding.

Bakugou found pleasure in tasting you on his tongue. From directly, to the aftertaste. Its like he found himself drunk on it. Your pussy made him feel like a fucking alcoholic.

He started to take you whenever and whereever he wanted. From the safe confines of your bedroom to the risky, crowded closet of his job.

He would get on his knees and place you on his mouth, holding you effortlessly.

His mouth needly licking and slurping at your constricting cunt while you covered your mouth to at least try to prevent being caught. Although, you wondered if the sounds of him eating you bare would attract people quicker than your muffled moans.

His tongue stuck deep into your cunt, scrapping itsef against your walls to bring back the slick that coated them. This was his fourth time pulling you away in the past hour. He was particularly horny today and nothing would stand inbetween him and your sloppy ecstasy, not even work.

First he pulled you to the boys bathroom on the almost abandoned rear side of the building. He fucked your mouth hard on his cock while whining praises mixed with degration. Then he fucked you onto his cock like his own personal fleshlight.

Then it was his office on the top floor. He locked his door as a compromise with you (he didnt want to at first but you said you were gonna scream if he didn’t, asshole move but it worked.) and finger fucked you on his desk until you came twice. He was about to whip himself out for a third orgasm but a knock on the door had you accidentally slapping the shit out of him.

The third time it was your office. He stumbled in with a hard cock and started to thigh fuck you until he came all over your desk and stomach. Then he proceeded to sloppily eat your cunt until you came into his mouth all while he jerked himself off.

And that leaves you to now, the fourth time. Where his lazy eyes watched you during the whole meeting you both attended. He eye-fucked you the entire time. Then after he dragged you into the closet far end of the agency building. It was cramped and he barely even squeezed the both of you in there. The only light was the one seeping from under the floor.

“Fuck,” he groaned into your cunt. You were sensitive after all the orgasm’s you had so far. Fat tears began to run down your cheeks.

A particular targeted thrust of him tongue had you flinching away from his touch. You tried to force yourself off of him but the growing pleasure made you weak in the knees. “Katsuki,” you moaned, “T’s too much. Too many times today.”

He always seems to get genuinely upset when your body jerks away from him when he eats you out. Its like taking a plate of his favorite food, made by his favorite chef, and kissed by a fucking god away from him from him, under his nose.

His grip on you tightened and he pulled you lower onto him. So much lower you were afraid he’d suffocate. A deep growl echoed through his chest as he told you to “shut up and sit pretty” through glistening lips.

He didn’t let you leave until after that painfully euphoric orgasm. And the next. By the end of your work shift, you limped to your shared home only to be fucked into complete immobility as soon as you arrived.

[saetoshi]

itoshi sae hates laundry day ever since your dryer broke.

(he broke it. neither of you know what he did, but he broke it and he hasn’t bought a new one since.)

he especially hates when it rains. it means he’s stuck with a pile of wet clothes and no place to dry them in.

it also means he’s stuck sitting in front of the doors to your balcony, glaring at the sky when he realizes the rain isn’t going to let up soon.

he hears the front door open, signaling your arrival. he makes no move to look at you, but he greets you back when you call out to him.

“it’s raining.”

“i know,” he sighs in annoyance.

“do we have a bucket?”

“i think so,” he gets up from his spot on the floor with a groan, “why?”

he turns his head in your direction, eyes widening in panic when he sees you standing by the door, soaking wet.

you point at the clothes clinging to your body, “it’s raining hard.”

“i know,” he rushes to you, “why’re you drenched?”

“i could’ve sworn i packed your umbrella,” he clicks his tongue, lifting up your arms to get you out of your shirt.

you kick your pants off, “it broke.”

he picks up your clothes, dragging you to the bathroom. he tosses your clothes in the sink, gently pushing you into the shower.

he takes his phone out to check the weather, slightly frowning when he realizes it won’t let up for at least another hour.

he relaxes when he hears the shower head running. “i made food.”

the corners of his lips quirk up when you groan in disgust.

“couldn’t you have ordered delivery or something?” he can hear the distress on your voice.

“it would’ve taken too long to arrive,” he bites back his smile, “plus, i was starving.”

you whine. he laughs, “eating my food once won’t kill you.”

“last time you cooked,” the shower head turns off, “we had to rush to the hospital because you gave me food poisoning.”

you stick your arm out of the shower door.

“first off,” he hands you a towel. “you were already sick.”

“and,” he grins when you step out of the shower, towel snug around your shivering frame, “if my food had, in fact, poisoned you as you say, then why was i completely fine?”

you glare, averting your gaze from his, a soft huff slipping past your lips. “you tell me.”

you perk up, turning your head towards the sink. “why are my clothes in the sink?”

“the washer’s full with our laundry.”

you turn to look at him, blinking curiously. “why didn’t you throw them in there, then?”

“the clothes in the washer are already clean.”

“oh.” you sway on your feet, “you haven’t dried them?”

sae shakes his head, a dry smile on his lips, “it’s raining really hard.”

and amused hum leaves your lips, “you really need to buy a new dryer.”

“i know,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “i’ll do it tomorrow.”

there’s a beat of silence.

“sae.”

he looks at you.

you point at the sink, “those were the only clean clothes i had left.”

he blinks. you blink back, a sheepish smile on your lips. he sighs before taking off his shirt and offering it to you.

“that’s the only clean shirt you have left too, isn’t it?” you tentatively reach out to grab it, motioning for him to turn around.

“how’d you know?”

you slip the shirt over your head, smiling at his curious tone, “it’s the only big shirt you have.”

“you also said you’d be caught dead before wearing it out in public,” you laugh in amusement.

(he did say that. the very first day you saw him in it, actually. it’s officially become his ‘i’ve got nothing else left to wear’ shirt.)

“whatever,” his ears flush, “can i turn around now?”

you hum, pressing a kiss to his cheek when he does. he kisses your forehead in return.

“c’mon.” sae tugs you out of the bathroom.

“where are we going?”

“kitchen.” he turns to look at you, a mischievous smile on his face, “you haven’t eaten yet.”

a horrified expression paints your face. he laughs at you. you try to wriggle out of his grasp, “i’m not hungry!”

“oh, please,” he rolls his eyes, “you’ll be fine.”

“itoshi sae,” you cry, “if i die i’m leaving everything i own to your little brother!”

“you don’t even know him.”

you sulk, “he still deserves it more than you!”

he scoffs, “it’s not like i’m the one doing your laundry or anything.”

“you broke my dryer.”

“i’ll buy you a new one.” he glances out the window. it’s not raining as hard. (he hopes it stops soon.)

“it better be a good one.”

he looks back at you, a smile tugs at his lips to return the one on your face. you both fall silent, the soft pitter patter of the rain against your windows being the only sound in the apartment.

you stay like that for a bit, the sound of rain soothing both of you. until you hear a thunderclap. sae’s eyes widen at the same time yours do. you stare at each other for a few seconds.

your lips form into a fine line, “we should order a dryer.”

“yeah,” he sounds breathless.

“we should do it now.”

“yeah.” he dumbly nods his head. “we should.”

[masonreds]

mason mount x reader

Summary: Y/N distances herself from Mason thinking that it would help her feelings.

word count: 3,7k words

notes: sorry if this is a bit too dramatic for you’re liking 👀 also take a shot for everytime y/n says sorry 😂😂 I’ve also not posted in a while so please leave feedback if you can, it will be appreciated 💞

This isn't how you expected tonight to go.

Here you were, in the bathroom locked away from the fun downsatairs, away from your own birthday party. You just couldn't handle it anymore.

You couldn't handle your feelings for him anymore. You hated being friends when deep down you know you knew what you wanted and the possibility of him turning you down, rejecting you just thinking about it made you an anxious mess.

You couldn't keep this up anymore. You wanted more.

The knocking on the bathroom door made you snap back into reality, and you already knew who it was without them even talking.

You just knew it was Mason.

The person who'd you been trying to avoid for the rest of the night.

'Last I checked, the afterparty hasn't been moved to the bathroom.'

'I'll just be a minute!' You say, trying to sound normal enough.

'What's wrong?' Apparently not.

'What do you mean? I'm just freshening up a bit.'

'What's bothering you?'

'i don't know what you mean,' you try to laugh it off , but the pressure in your chest becomes a little too tight and it comes out as a more gasping noise than a light chuckle. You clear your throat. 'i told you, I'll be out in a minute. It's getting late, everybody else has probably gone, you can go too. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?'

Mason just ignores what you said. 'You would've at least made five sarcastic comments in the last two minutes if everything was fine. You forget how i can read you like a book.' He pauses. 'And you certainly wouldn't be hiding away from your own birthday party for most of the night. Especially when you always refuse to let me leave without helping you clean up.'

Shit

'Mase, i told you, I'm -'

'Cut the bullshit, Y/N.' He told you sternly, before continuing, 'I watched you blow out the candles. I saw that look you made after you made your wish, and you looked up at me for a split second. And that look you had on your face, as if you were going to start crying right there and then. You masked it quickly, but I saw it. I’m not going to stand here and pretend I didn’t see it.’

‘I don’t know what you’re-’

‘Yes you do,’ he interjects. ‘Because right about an hour ago I’m handing you a drink and the next thing I know, I see your face crumple like that again. And-’ he takes a deep breath before continuing. ‘And it fucking broke my heart.’

You stood there, stunned.

‘So, are you going to tell me what I did wrong?’ He asks.

‘You didn’t do-’

‘Because you’re my best friend,’ he reminds you. ‘And I feel like I have a right to know what I did that made you make that face.’

There’s a beat of silence, and he says, in a lower tone than before. ‘Because I would do anything to make sure I never see it again. It breaks my heart seeing you like that.’

Stood still, your gaze is fixed at the door speed the two of you.

‘Y/N.’ He calls out, sounding more desperate than you ever thought him capable of being.

And that does it. The tears you’ve been desperately holding back through every conversation with him you had, not only tonight, but since the day you realised that you were in love with him. You’ve reached the point where there was no return, and the person you want to run to the most is also the one you couldn’t possible bare to see you in this state.

The stretch of silence following your name from his lips feels endless. You feel like you’ve been standing in front of the door, with your face painfully scrunched in a vain attempt to stop the tears from falling, for an eternity. That is until it’s broken by your shuddering gasp for air.

‘Y/N.’ He says again. Only this time his voice has shifted, even thought the distance hasn’t changed, you can feel his voice everywhere now. It has penetrated the walls and filled every corner of the room. You realise this is the first time he’s seen you cry.

Well, no. He still can’t see you.

He can only hear you, which means there’s still time to fix things going from bad to worse.

‘C’mon princess, don’t cry sweetheart,’ he beckons. ‘Please. Just come out and we’ll fix whatever’s happening. I swear.’

Those nicknames, which he sometimes throws around fondly and always makes your chest tighten in joy every time you hear them. It feels worse now. It feels torturous and cruel to hear him casually call you things you wished he truly meant.

And that only makes you cry harder.

Oh how you wish things were different, and how you wished you were destined to be with him.

‘I-I’m begging you,’ his voice sounds strained, and you feel guilty for putting him in such an uncomfortable situation.

‘I’m fine,’ you manage. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll be okay in a sec.’

‘But you never cry,’ he says. Which was true, you never let him saw you raw emotions. You wanted him to think that you were fine and that you could handle it, until you couldn’t anymore.

‘I’m sorry,’ you whisper.

‘Stop apologising,’ he says firmly. ‘Now, can you please come out?’

‘I can’t.’

‘And why’s that?’

‘Because,’ you squeeze your eyes shut as more tears spill over. ‘You can’t see me like this. I don’t want it to change our friendship.’

‘Well what if I want it to?’ He counters.

‘What?!!’

‘What if I want it to affect our friendship?’ He sighs. ‘What if I want you to think you can come to me when you’re upset? Do you really think I’d push you away when you’re like this?’

You can’t get any words out. All you can do is let out a pathetic sob at the kindness of his words.

At my crying he stammers, ‘I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? I just meant-’

‘No!!’

‘No?’ He questions.

‘No,’ you can’t help but smile a little.

‘Well, look, I’m not going to force you to come out,’ he says. ‘If you truly want to be alone, I get that, and I’ll leave and you can come out whenever you’re ready.’

Good.

I think I can work with that - you thought.

‘But if the only reason you’re not coming out is because you’re afraid of how I’m going to react, then I’m the one who fucked up for making you think that you always need to be in a good mood around me,’ his voice softens. ‘I’ll leave you alone if you want, but please don’t try to push me away.’

Damn.

You almost left out a huff of laughter, because you know that no matter what you promised yourself, he always weakens your resolve. And it’s at this moment where you realise just how exhausted you are - how nearly two years of suppressing your feelings have been slowly eating away at you. And the weight of your misery becomes unbearable, and all you want is to leave the terrible ache in your chest behind.

More tears come running down your cheek, that you couldn’t seem to stop. You don’t bother wiping them away as you stare at yourself into the mirror. You see the hollowness of your eyes, the way you look pale in the dim bathroom light, and you know you can hardly handle the weight of your secret for much longer. Giving yourself an almost nod of understanding before reaching the door handle, unlocking the door and throwing common sense out of the window.

‘Princess?’ He asks. Your chest tightens at the sound of that stupid nickname again. It started off as a joke, Mason teasing you after you shared your love of fantasy books and fairy tales with him. And it stuck around, quickly becoming Mason’s favourite way to make you flustered while you always shoot him with an annoyed glare. You always told him you hated it, but after a while you began to carry it with a sense of pride. As much as it pained you to know he was only joking, it always made your heart contract in a way he was only capable of causing.

‘Promise me one thing?’ Your voice is unsteady from all the crying you’ve been doing.

‘Anything.’

‘Shut your eyes, will you?’

‘Why’s that?’

‘Not to brag or anything but I’m certain I’m one of the most ugliest criers out there. And I’m not sure if I can stand you see me like that,’ you do your best to joke. ‘Just for now, at least.’

‘You don’t realise how silly you sound, do you? But if that’s what makes you come out, then yeah sure.’ He says.

And with that, you pull the door handle down so you can open the door.

Mason’s perched at the very end of your bed, his hands resting on his lap. He’s facing you, and you’re relieved to see that his dud are still shut, as promised. You stand there for what feels like an endless amount of time, too stunned to move. But slowly, his hands move from his lap and palms his face up, beckoning you over.

It’s all the cue you need, and you step forward, placing your hands on his forearms, your grip is still shaky. Whilst his eyes are still closed, he engulfs you into a hug. You have hugged Mason plenty of times, more than you can count, but never with you crying into his arms. One hand rubs your back while the other gently caresses your hair, but the tenderness and kindness he’s showing only makes you cry harder.

‘Can I open my eyes?’ He murmurs. All you can manage is a quick nod against his chest. He tries to pull back from the hug so he can face you, but you figure that he cant see your tear stained face if it’s buried in his hoodie, so you remain firmly planted in the hug.

A few moments pass like this, both pressed impossibly close to each other and you can feel your heart rate begin to calm as your tears slowly subside. The exhaustion has saturated your body as you feel as though you can fall asleep on his chest before you heard him speak.

‘You’ll tell me what I did wrong, won’t you?’

‘I want to, but I can’t,’ you tell him.

‘Why?’ He doesn’t sound annoyed, his voice has a playful tone to it with a twinge of worry.

‘Because-’ you whisper. ‘Because you’ll hate me.’

‘Impossible,’ he says. ‘You’re one of my best friends, I don’t think I could hate you even if I wanted to.’

‘As much as I want to tell you why I gave you that look tonight,’ your voice is slightly muffled with your face buried in his hoodie. ‘I know it will ruin our friendship and I don’t think I can bare losing you.’

‘You’re not making any sense. I thought I was the one who upset you,’ he manages to pull away, untangling my arms from around his neck. He slowly rises from his perch, towering above me as he rests his hand on my shoulders. You can’t look at him though, so you lock your gaze onto the floor. ‘Seriously, Y/N, you know I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to, but you’re starting to scare me.’ His confession makes your heart ache impossibly.

He brings his hand underneath your chin and slowly guides your face up to meet his. A few more tears escape your swollen eyelids, and he gently brushes them away. ‘I want to tell you,’ you avert your gaze, not being able to stand the intensity of his eyes on yours. ‘But I know how it’ll end. And I know you’ll resent me for it.’

‘Please don’t say that,’ he tries to meet your eyes. ‘There’s nothing that you could say to me right now that would make me even think about hating you, okay?’

‘But there is!’ You grip on to his forearms, relishing your closeness one last time. You know you’re going to be selfish you’ve ever been and ruin the most important thing in your life just to give yourself a moment of peace. ‘And I thought I was fine keeping it to myself, but I just can’t go on like this anymore.’

You stagger backwards, as you see the panicked look on his face. ‘I can’t eat or sleep,’ your fingers begin to nervously tangle themselves into your hair. ‘And I know you don’t deserve this, but I can feel myself going crazy and I know that I can’t keep this up.’

He slowly moves closer to you, his brow knotted in concern. ‘Keep what up?’

‘I can’t keep pretending that I’m not in love with you.’

There it is.

There’s no going back now.

He starts to say your name, but you cut him off quickly. ‘No, just let me finish,’ you bury your face in your hands, knowing damn well that you cannot possibly handle his reaction. You try your best to steady your breathing. ‘Because if I don’t do this now, it’ll just continue to eat away at me until I won’t even recognise myself.’

You take his silence as a cue to keep going. You remove your hands from your eyes but focus your attention on the floor. You eyes catch on a potted plant in the corner of the room by three window, and you keep your gaze focused on it as you utter your confession.

‘I thought it was just a little crush,’ your voice isn’t much louder than a whisper. ‘When we met a couple years ago. And then it was like one day I blinked and you and I had become best friends. I couldn’t remember a time when I was so happy.’

You’re crying now. You take another moment to gather your strength, and carry on, refusing to look up at him.

‘I thought us being friends would be enough, and for a while it was. I was fine loving you platonically, because I figured having you in my life as a friend would be better than not having you in my life at all. But my feelings never went away, they just continued to grow stronger and stronger and-’ you try to discreetly wipe your eyes. Your tears blurred your vision almost completely. ‘I knew you would never love me like I love you, because guys like you don’t date girls like me. The date models or influencers. The type of girl you brag to your friends about.’

‘I feel terrible because I’ve lied to you our entire friendship. I feel like this secret has just been festering inside of me and honestly I’ve been so miserable when I wake up everyday thinking this is it, this is the day you’ll find someone else and I’ll truly be nothing to you. But no matter how badly I try to protect myself from getting hurt in the end, I just can’t stay away from you.’ You let out a weak laugh.

You’re rambling now, you can feel it. You find it impossible to stop until he speaks. ‘What if I feel the same?’

You jerk your chin up to meet his eyes. He’s standing closer now, and you have to tilt your head back to maintain eye contact.

Your stubbornness got in the way. ‘No you don’t. You could never love me.’

It feels like time stops when he says, ‘who said that?’

You shake your head, and viciously swipe your hands under your eyes. ‘No, Mase. Don’t say things you don’t mean. I know we joke around a lot but I would never fuck around with your feelings like that.’ You can feel panic rising in your chest.

‘I’m-’ Mason tries to go on to say until you interrupt.

‘You don’t have to let me down gently.’

‘Please give me a chance to speak, will you?’ He grips your shoulders gently, placing his face close to yours. And then he goes on to saying something you would’ve never expected. ‘Could you just pump the breaks for a second so I can tell you that I’m in love with you too?’

You stood stunned for a while before you managed to come out with ‘what?’

‘You do realise that I’ve been crazy about you for years now, right? I just didn’t know where you stood so I never had the guts to ask you out,’ He lets out a breathy laugh and runs his hands through his hair. ‘Oh god if I had known that you liked me back even a little I would’ve said something! I–I just thought you never saw me like that,’ He trails off. He stops and turns to me suddenly. ‘Princess, I am so sorry. All this time you felt like you couldn’t be yourself around me, like you couldn’t just tell me how you felt.’

You’re still staring at him, dumbfounded. You’ve realized that you still haven’t stopped crying, much to your absolute humiliation. If what he’s saying is true, you think, then why on god’s green earth can’t you calm down? But at this point the panicked sobbing has taken a new shape, now strangely mixed with exhaustion, giddiness, and confusion. You attempt a smile, but you imagine it looks very off-putting, considering your emotional state.

His hand on your arm breaks you out of your thoughts. ‘Sorry,’ I furtively wipe your eyes. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me – I mean, I should be jumping up and down with joy, but,’ you release another shuddering breath. ‘I can’t seem to calm down.’

The look he gives you is one you’ve seen many times before, though you never knew how to describe it. Calling it a look of kindness or interest didn’t seem like it was enough to describe the depth of his stare, and it felt too far to call it a look of worry. Only now after these past few minutes have you understood what his gaze is implying. It was more than affection, it felt like love.

‘Hey,’ he murmurs. ‘It’s okay, you’ve been through quite a bit just now, baby.’

I laugh a little at that. ‘That’s a good way to sum it up.’

He smiles again, and your stomach does more than just flip, it somersaults and launches itself into a dive roll. And then he pulls you into his arms again, and though you can’t stop the tears leaving your eyes, you feel like you can at least control your breathing a bit more.

‘Now I know you have a tendency to overthink,’ he says after a moment or two. ‘But there can’t be any of that right now, alright? Don’t think about tomorrow or this new thing between us, alright?’

You pause, but relent with a small nod.

He continues. ‘I care about you like I always have, and my priority right now is to make sure you’re okay.’ His hand rubs reassuring circles on your back as he speaks. ‘It’s late now, and you must be exhausted after everything tonight.’

You let out a small hum of agreement. Now that he mentions it, you feel absolutely wiped out, and a dull pain has begun to take roots in your temples. Mason gently moves back, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear and taking in the sight of you in front of him. For what felt like the millionth time, you feel yourself becoming self-conscious. You know how red and swollen your face becomes after you’ve cried, and you’re willing to bet that the mascara running down your cheeks gives your features an added air of insanity.

‘How about you let me deal with some of the mess in the living room, while you wash your face and wind down a bit?’ he suggests.

‘Yeah,’ your breath still comes out a little shaky as you restate his commands. ‘No overthinking.’

He nods, satisfied with your answer. ‘And when I come back tomorrow, we’ll talk, and then you can let that brain of yours ask a hundred and one questions as it always does. But not until then,’ he finished with a smile.

You can feel your heart start to drop at his words

‘You’re not staying?’

The words are out before you can stop yourself. You know he doesn’t want you thinking about this new thing between us right now, but he has no idea how much overthinking you’ll do if he walks out that door. You know if he leaves, you’ll barely get a wink of sleep all night, wondering if our heated exchange was nothing more than a champagne-induced dream.

Mason looks at me with a smile. ‘Of course I can stay.’

‘Are you saying that because I asked, or because you actually want to?’ You shoot him an incredulous look

‘Let me tell you something, princess,’ he stares deeply into your eyes, refusing to let your gaze slip from his. ‘I’ve never, never left your side willingly.’

His words cause your breath to hitch and for your heart to constrict almost painfully, but you refrain from grabbing the skin over your chest, from making sure that your heart is, in fact, still beating.

‘I wanted you to know that you don’t owe me anything right now, and that we’re still – we’re still us,’ he says. ‘I didn’t want you to feel weird if I stayed the night, that’s all.’

You let out a soft breath. ‘Thank you, Mase,’ you whisper. ‘I trust you, you know that I do.’

‘Good,’ he replies. ‘That’s a relief because I honestly didn’t feel comfortable leaving my girl alone right now.’

You have to physically hold yourself back from grinning at his words. My girl. The thought of those two words, and all they could possibly imply, made me feel light-headed. All you can do is nod your head in agreement.

He gently brushes some hair behind your shoulders, giving you a soft grin. ‘So how about you get ready for bed, and I’ll grab a T-shirt from my car and put away the stuff in the living room. I’ll be back in a few minutes, alright?’

‘Okay, I think I can manage washing my face before I pass out,’ you say jokingly.

Mason chuckles as he walks out of the room. ‘That’s my girl.’

[hugshughes]

Summer Child C. Loveland

Colston Loveland x fem!Minter!reader

synopsis - When it's announced that Coach Minter is leaving Michigan, it heavily affects his eldest daughter's life. Especially since her boyfriend is a returning tight end for the Wolverines.

wc - 5k (CONFUSED NOISE????)

contains - UNEDITED SORRY! angsty :(, cursing, kissing, cuddling, crying, shouting, lying. people are mean to reader about it. mentions of a car accident! NO DETAILS!!! it's just a flashback!!! comfort (colston is the boyfriend of the year) heavy family issues, feelings of betrayal. it's kind of giving a found family moment? OHHHH COLSTON BEING HOT AS FUCK STICKING UP FOR READERRR, mentions of hickies? can we pretend that it was announced in like a month or so? cause in this universe CURRENTLY (January 28th) Colston like JUST asked reader to be his girlfriend. so maybe this was announced in late March? WORK WITH ME THANKS.

an - well shit writing this was kind of sad. THE TIMES TABLES DURING A PANIC ATTACK IS LIKE ACTUALLY ME. i had one at a party (so fun of me yes) in October my boyfriend sat with me and asked me times tables to calm me down. IT WORKS FOR ME EVERY TIME OKAY? ALSO do u guys realize that whenever Minter!reader calls Colston "Lovey" it's because 1. Loveland is his last name, and then 2. he's her love. IT MOSTLY STARTED BECAUSE OF HIS LAST NAME THEN MORPHED INTO HIM BEING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE. THATS WHY ITS CAPITALIZED WHEN OTHER TERMS OF ENDEARMENT ARENT!

-

you see all the flowers in the weeds.

Your phone rang loudly on your nightstand. Who was calling you so early? It was only 6:10 in the morning as you made your way from your bathroom, quickly grabbing your phone. Colston. What was your boyfriend doing calling you at this time? You slid to answer the phone, a large smile on your face.

"Hi Lovey, what are you doing calling me this early?"

You heard a sigh exit your boyfriend's mouth, your smile leaving you. Something was wrong.

"You don't know, do you?"

"What? What are talking about, Colston?"

"Look at Instagram."

You rolled your eyes, putting the call on speaker before sliding it away, opening Instagram. The screen reloaded before displaying an update post saying your dad was done with his time in Michigan. What?

you're scared of the dark when you sleep.

"No. He would've told me. No way, how do you know?"

"We just got off of a team call with him."

Your heart dropped even further than it had before. Not only was your father leaving, he hadn't even bothered to tell you. Your stomach was forming a pit, you didn't know what to think or do. You realized Colston might be upset with you, jumping to protect yourself.

"You know I didn't know about this, right? I can't believe he didn't tell me. I just- I don't even know what to do right now."

You felt tears in your eyes, why didn't he just tell you? You inhaled shakily. What the fuck? Your dad had touched on the subject of him possibly leaving Michigan to follow Jim, but didn't ever make a firm decision with it, not whenever you were around. Your whole family didn't tell you. You couldn't believe your dad, but even more so your mom, because you thought the two of you were supposed to be best friends. Obviously not.

you cover up your arms with your sleeves, even in hundred degree heat.

"Hey, yeah it's alright. I know baby, I trust you, okay? Are you okay?"

"I don't- I just, why didn't he tell me? He was acting like he wanted to stay. I mean, I don't care that he's leaving, why did he lie about it? He had to have made his decision weeks ago. What the fuck?"

You ran your fingers through your ponytail, you felt your usual front of nonchalance breaking. You swallowed hard, desperately trying to wipe the tears before they could fall down your face.

"Woah, baby, hey. Breathe, pretty. I'll be there in a second. 'M leaving right now. Just sit down and breathe, baby."

You nodded, sucking in a tight breath, mumbling out an agreement. You felt like you were having a panic attack, but it was different than normal. Usually your thoughts went a mile a minute when you had one, but it was like your mind was blank, like everything shut down.

You hung up the phone, two minutes ago you were perfectly oblivious brushing your hair. And now you were sitting on the edge of your bed with shaky hands and tear lined eyes.

You sat on your bed and stared at the wall, doing times tables in your head to try to distract yourself. You'd gotten up to the 17s by the time you heard your front door open, then fast footsteps to your room. Colston's heart broke when he saw you sitting there, teary eyed and breathing sharply. He quickly came to you, kneeling between your spread legs bringing his hands to your face.

"Hey, gorgeous."

You giggled, knowing you probably looked a mess. Your hair was in a now messy low ponytail with pieces falling and you'd only woken up a half hour ago. You melted into his hold before shakily responding.

"Hi, Colst."

"You breathin' alright, baby?"

You felt your breaths slowing and steadying, nodding at your boyfriend and trying to smile.

When you fully calmed down, you laid back on your bed with Colston while he held you. He pulled the hair tie out of your hair to run his fingers through it.

your father was awfully mean.

You couldn't even fully comprehend the situation. How could your dad not tell you? It made you feel like you were in high school again. During your freshman year, your sister had just been born, and your brother was barely two. Your parents were so focused on them that your relationship with them was severely damaged and strained. They just assumed their fifteen year old would be able to handle herself while they tried to wrangle two babies. They missed a lot that year, and it hurt. It had made you feel like you weren't apart of your own family, you felt too old and too different.

That relationship continued for the next two years, though it had ups and downs. It took until you were a senior in high school for your parents to realize they'd been neglecting you. One night after a football game at your high school you'd gotten into a car accident with your friends. No one was seriously or fatally injured, but you'd fractured your wrist. You sat alone in the emergency room with no way of going home because your parents wouldn't answer the phone. You were still seventeen so they couldn't let you go before a parent or guardian came for you.

You sat being pitifully comforted by nurses for over two hours before your dad called you back.

"Hello? What's up?"

You felt tears pricking in your eyes, the dull ache in your wrist adding to the whirlwind of emotions spiraling through you.

"I'm in the ER. I've been here since 9. Some car t-boned us going through the big intersection after the game. We're all fine, but my wrist is broken."

You let out a shaky breath, you hadn't spoken to your dad too much in the past week. It was football season so he was gone a lot, and there were also three children five and under running around your house all the time. You sighed as you looked down at the dark green cast on your forearm, hoping you could somehow wish yourself out of existence.

your favorite color is green.

"Oh shit, what? Sorry baby, I've been at the stadium all night. Did you call mom?"

"Only twenty times."

"She's probably been dealing with the littles. But what's going on? Are you alright?"

"I mean yeah, it hurts but whatever. I can't leave until one of you gets here. You have to sign some papers, I don't know."

Jesse Minter didn't know what to do. He felt like the worst dad.

"Well um, I'm leaving the stadium now. I'll call mom, if she answers I'll tell her to head there, since she'd be there faster than I can. I love you, sweetheart. Okay? I'm sorry, baby."

"It's whatever, dad. Love you too."

You hung up, sitting back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair, eyeing the brace on your wrist. You told the nurse someone would be there soon, and she nodded with a sad smile. Your dad showed up almost forty minutes later, giving awkward smiles as the ER staff gave him dirty looks. You felt so embarrassed. Your parents don't care enough to pick up the phone.

That night was rough, though it was technically the next morning when you got home a bit after midnight. Your dad informed your mom of what happened while you sat grimly on the couch, your legs pressed to your chest.

Your mom had a rough night with the littles, and hadn't had any time to check her phone before she fell asleep. You had felt like a stranger when they sat across from you on the ottoman. They apologized over and over, that night had come as a realization for the two of them. They'd realized that you were still growing up, that just because you were so much older than your siblings didn't mean they should feel good leaving you by yourself. You sat still as your mom hugged you for a while. You'd completely forgotten the comfort it was to be held by your mommy, it made you feel little again. You cried a lot, though the people pleaser inside of you still tried to tell your parents you were fine, what they did was fine. It wasn't. And you weren't.

it reminds you of the summer you turned three, running through sprinklers on your street.

Since then you'd been closer than ever before with your parents, especially since your dad started coaching at Michigan the same year you started. But this situation, it made you feel like all the progress had been pulled out from under you. It felt like you were still sitting in that waiting room.

You fell asleep in Colston's arms as his warm hands ran up and down your back. He didn't worry knowing today, Monday, both of you had no classes or anything else. Your mom called you while you slept, so Colston took the liberty to answer it.

"Hey, this is Colston."

"Oh, hi hun. Is she alright? I know it's not right but Jess just didn't know how to tell her."

Colston looked down at you, brushing hair from your eyes before replyig to your mom.

"She was not very good earlier. She had a panicky thing about it. But she fell asleep a while ago."

Panicky thing. That's what you'd always called them. Your moms heart ached but melted at the way Colston was taking care of you.

"She's not as upset about you guys leaving as she is about not knowing."

Your mom sighed, she knew her little girl. Jesse had begged her to let him tell their eldest daughter, but he couldn't get the courage. Sometimes even forty year old fathers are frightened by their nineteen year old daughters reactions.

Colston heard faint talking in the background of the call. 'Is that her?', and 'No it's Colston. Yes he's taking care of her. Yes she's upset, Jess.' Colston couldn't help but be upset with your parents, they knew this would hurt you, and they still let it happen.

Colston said a few more things to your mom, as politely as he could before ending the call, snuggling back into you and falling asleep.

You woke up groggily, with a headache. You immediately noticed the sleeping tight end beneath you, warming your heart, even if for just a moment. You grabbed your phone, checking the time. It was just past noon, you'd been sleeping for a while. You saw texts from your mom and dad, groaning internally. All you wanted to do was power off your phone, throw it in a drawer, and go back to sleep with your boyfriend. But, you knew you had to talk to your parents. You shifted out of Colston's gentle hold, silently leaving the room until you heard his voice behind you.

"Baby? Where are y'going?"

and you laugh, and you dance in the wind.

You turned to see him. He looked so warm and comfy, the sight beckoning you back to your bed. You fought off the temptation, sticking to your mission.

"I have to talk to my parents, Lovey."

He nodded, shifting around to get comfortable again without you.

"I love you, gorgeous. I'll be right here if you need me. Believe it or not, I feel prepared to be rude to your dad in your honor."

You faux gasped, a light laugh leaving your mouth. Although, it was rather adorable. You knew how much your dad usually intimidated Colston. Him willing to get on his bad side for you was insanely sweet.

"I'll be back soon."

Colston gave you one last wink before you left the room, settling on the couch as you started looking through the messages you'd recieved.

and you sway, and you hug, and you kiss.

Apologies, requests to talk, more apologies. You sighed, rolling your eyes. You called your dad, and there were barely two rings before he answered.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Hi."

You felt a pit in your stomach over the silence that began looming. You felt the trust in your father that had finally regrown over the last two years being taken from you.

"I'm sorry."

"Well I'd hope so."

You were starting to feel angry, the longer you sat there in silence, the more you felt your sadness being buried by malice.

"Why didn't you tell me? That's completely fucked! You were talking about it like you had no interest in leaving. I don't even care, leave all you want. But don't lie to me! I thought we were all finished not telling each other stuff, I thought you guys were gonna start thinking about how I felt. Having to find out from an Instagram post is a low ass blow. How long have you known you were leaving? Is the house for sale? When are you guys moving to Los Angeles?"

Holy shit. You'd never snapped at your dad like that. Jesse Minter was confounded, he had finally pushed you to your limit, and the aftershock was brutal.

"Baby, please. I couldn't tell you. We feel horrible leaving you here."

"So, what? Were you gonna leave a note on the door for the next time I come over for dinner? 'To our daughter, sorry, we left, we live in Los Angeles now. Was nice knowing you!'"

"No! No, we were gonna tell you soon but then I found out yesterday I had to tell the guys this morning. You were supposed to know before everyone else."

"That's not true. You've known since the championship, haven't you? Obviously the coaching staff knew! I can't believe you and mom. How long have the kids known? How long has it been a 'little secret we're keeping from sissy'?"

You waited for answers, any answers. Answers that your father stuttered out, guilt lacing every word.

"Yes. Me and Jim talked about it a couple days after the championship. I've known that if the opportunity came up I'd go for a while. I'm sorry, baby. I know it's bad. There's no excuse I could make to make it alright. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, and I love you. I wish I had talked to you about it, seriously. I just truly didn't know how to tell you, it's gonna be really hard for me to leave you here. You're my girl, my baby. But I know that you have so many people here that love and take care of you."

Your anger was slowly dissipating, the overall sadness coming back to you. You'd be without your family within an hour of you for the first time in your life. That was so scary.

but there's darkness behind those eyes.

You weren't truly angry with your family, you were afraid to be without them. If you knew you would've told him to go and live out his dreams. You were just scared to drift from them.

After talking to your dad a little longer, then to your mom for a while, you hung up the phone.

You felt tears prick in your eyes as you pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around them. You took a few deep breaths, trying to figure out how you were gonna do this without them. You knew deep down everything would be okay, but that didn't stop the voices in your head from making you scared.

You heard light footsteps before seeing Colston peek his head around the archway. His eyes immediately softened seeing your position.

"Hey, coach. What's up, baby? You feel any better?"

You shrugged as he came to sit by you, sucking in a deep breath. His hand ran up and down your back, soothing you. You tried to give him a smile, but you still looked pitifully sad.

even when you smile.

"I don't know, Colst. It's just scary. My dad got the job here the same year I started here, so my whole family had moved here. I've never been far from them, I know it's immature but I'm scared."

oh, summer child.

"Hey, no. It's not immature, it's completely appropriate. You didn't get the homesickness of leaving your family when you came to college, and now that they're the ones going far away I know it definitely feels worse. Last year when we got here I was scared too. Especially after football ended and my parents weren't flying here every other weekend to see me play. I hated being alone. But, I found people that felt like family. I had the guys, other friends, this one really cute girl that barely gave me the time of day because she was way out of my league and her dad was one of my coaches."

you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.

You laughed, moving to hug Colston. He said the exact words you needed to hear. You thought about the people who filled your cup. Colston was obviously the first person who came to mind. But there were also all your other amazing friends, your best girl friend, a couple other football players, the group of girls you loved, and so many more.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Colston. I don't say that to you enough. My dad said on the phone that it was gonna be hard to leave me here but he knew there were lots of people here that love me and take care of me. I know he was talking about you. They love you a lot Colston."

you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.

Colston was speechless. He felt real good about the fact that your parents felt comfortable to leave you in his care. They knew the extent of his love for you, and were in awe of just how perfectly he treated you. The princess treatment they knew their daughter deserved.

He squeezed you tighter, leaving a kiss on your neck.

"I love you, so 'm gonna take care of you. You mean more than anything t'me."

You mumbled the three words right back, holding him tightly.

you're a lying summer child.

-

You're laying in your bed. It's almost 8pm on Friday night and all you've done is rot since you got home from classes in the late afternoon.

It's been a couple days since finding out about your dad leaving. It's been a rough couple of days. You hadn't seen Colston since that day you found out, you were both so busy, and he'd had a large mix of practices, trainings, and physical therapy appointments over the last few days.

Colston texted, making you smile. He'd asked if he could call you, to which you immediately replied yes. You swipe the answer button the second the call popped up.

"Hi Lovey."

"Hi, gorgeous."

You could hear his smile, he was planning something.

"How would you like to go out tonight?"

"Like bar or date going out?"

"A date, coach, obviously. Can't take you anywhere, too many wandering eyes."

You laughed heartily, if Colston was with you you would've slapped his chest while his hands wandered below your hips. Ugh, is it obvious you missed his touch?

"Shut up, Colston. Thought you said you could fight?"

"Oh, of course I can. Don't doubt that for a second. I just don't appreciate other guys checkin' you out. But to be honest, they can look all they want and still won't be the one 'ya sleep with."

You told him to shut up again, your skin from your chest to your ears flaming. You talked to him for a little longer before he told you he'd pick you up in twenty five minutes, and to dress comfy and warm.

You were donning a large pair a sweatpants and one of Colston's hoodies when he knocked on your door. You opened the door with a giddy smile, immediately pulling him into your apartment.

"Hi baby."

You greeted him right before wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. When you pulled away from him, you stepped back and realized you two were practically matching. Grey sweats and a navy Michigan hoodie.

"So you're trying to be me now?"

"Hello, you're in my sweatshirt, and my sweatpants? I'd say if one of us is copying the other, it isn't me."

"Actually these are my sweatpants, so."

Colston immediately turned you around, twisting the waistband of your sweatpants to look at the tag.

"Hm, that explains why there's 'C. L.' in sharpie on the tag."

Oh, maybe they were Colston's.

"Fuck you and your need to label all your clothing as yours."

You scurried away from him and back towards your room, opening your closet to pick out your shoes. You opted for your Ugg slippers, which of course were pretty much the same as the ones Colston had chosen to wear tonight.

One mirror picture of your matching outfits later, you were holding hands as you walked down to the car. It was early spring in Ann Arbor, but it still got pretty chilly in the night.

"So where are we even going?"

You realized you had no clue what you were doing, it reminded you of your first date. The drive in movie he surprised you with sent your heart soaring.

"It's a surprise, I know how much you love 'em."

You rolled your eyes playfully, thanking him as he opened the passenger door of his truck for you, holding your hand as he helped you in. You settled in and put your seatbelt on as Colston went around the hood, climbing in. His hand went straight to kneading your thigh once he'd put the truck in drive. Your wrapped your arms around his, as always pulling up his sweatshirt sleeve to trace over his tattoo.

Now whenever you drove with Colston, you kept staring when he turned to look. You didn't snap your head forward like a nervous tween girl, you'd smile deeply when he caught you looking, mumbling a greeting to him.

You drove for almost an hour, your music of choice playing through the car. Happy Instead by Zach Bryan played as Colston pulled to a stop in a rocky parking lot. You weren't really paying attention to where you'd been driving, but you smiled widely when you turned and saw the Lake Erie sign. He'd brought you to Stoney Point, where date #3 had taken place for the two of you, and now was a place where he took you every so often.

The small parking lot was semi-full, which was unusual, especially for this time of night.

"Know this week's been rough, sweetheart. Thought you'd like to come 'ere."

arent you way too busy, taking care of everybody, to take care of yourself?

You leaned over the center console, taking his face in your hands and kissing him.

"This is great, Colst. Thank you, baby."

You mumbled against his lips, kissing him again before turning to get out of the car. To which Colston reached and grabbed your hand, giving you a look that screamed, 'stay put.' so you did. Colston climbed out, going around the hood before opening your door, giving you a smile as he helped you down and out of the truck.

He held your hand as he guided you to the steps leading to the rocky sand. Once you got over the steps, your eyes immediately were attracted to the large bonfire a little ways down the shore. You saw the group surrounding the bonfire, before furrowing your eyebrows when you realized they were your friends. You turned to Colston, halting in your steps.

"What's going on, baby?"

"Well, we've all been thinkin' about you. We just wanted to hang out and be with you, sweetheart. Everyone's been wantin' to make sure you're okay."

when the sun goes missing, aren't the flowers just as pretty?

Your vision blurred with tears, you quickly turned to wrap your arms around Colston, thanking him repeatedly.

"You're so sweet, Colst."

He just laughed and kissed you, telling you you deserved it before pulling you down the shore. Once your friends caught sight of you, they were all shouting merrily towards you two.

Your best friend ran over, almost tackling you in a hug.

"Hi lovebug! Oh, I missed you so much!"

You felt the tears well up again, hugging her tightly.

"I missed you too, pretty."

aren't the oceans just as deep?

Once she let you go, you made rounds hugging everyone else, smiling especially wide when you saw some of Colston's teammates standing a little farther from the fire.

"Hi ladies."

You giggled as you approached them, JJ McCarthy immediately jumping to hug you tightly.

"Hey! How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, this has definitely improved my overall mood!"

You pulled away from him, going to hug Donovan, Blake, and Will. Colston came over to the five of you, wrapping his arm around your hips as you fell into conversation. You talked with them for a while before being beckoned over to a group of your girlfriends sitting in camping chairs on the opposite side of the fire.

As you walked away Colston's eyes followed you, his heart soaring seeing you smiling so brightly. The voice of Will across from him bringing his eyes from you.

the trees as green?

"Dude, you know we all like her and all. But, do you really think she didn't know about all of it?"

Colston's eyes darkened, his hand subconsciously pulling into a fist.

"What are you trying to say? That's she's lying to everyone? Fuck are you on, man?"

"Whoa, Will. Man, there's no need to be like that. She didn't know, that's why she's been so upset. Minter lied to her about it."

JJ talked Will down while Blake put his hand on Colston's shoulder, telling him to chill.

"Nah, bro. You don't come out here then pull this shit. We know you're fucking pissy he's leaving, don't try to be a dickhead about it. It's not her fucking fault. The only reason I'm not slapping the fuck out of you right now is because she's over there, and you're not about to ruin this for her."

and as for me, i'll watch you weep.

Colston turned and left his teammates, going to see what was up with the couple of hockey players that he'd invited.

You obliviously talked to your friends, smiling and giggling with them. You were pulled into one of your closest girlfriend's laps as you talked to them.

"Okay but seriously, how are you feeling? We felt horrible when Colston texted everyone about this."

"Honestly, I'm fine. I mean, I'm still really upset, but I'll get over it. I think it'll be whatever, I didn't think my dad would stay forever."

They nodded, sending sympathetic smiles your way. You gratefully accepted a Diet Coke from one of your friends as you continued to talk to them about everything. After a while, you got up and mingled with your other friends that were there. Your former dorm mate and the other girls from the old building stood with you for a little bit before you felt your hand being tugged.

You turned and made eye contact with Colston, smiling.

"Hi Lovey,"

You said it quietly, not wanting to interrupt the girls around you. He smiled, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

"what's up?"

He shook his head before nodding down towards the water. You nodded, silently following behind him, hands still locked together.

oh, summer child.

He brought you right to where the last dry sand was, the water lapping a dozen or so feet in front of you. You leaned your head against the side of his shoulder, overwhelmed by how warm he was even in the cold of the night. He smelled like how he usually did, the cologne he used called "cosmic cowboy", and the eucalyptus of his shampoo. On top of the usual aroma was a layer of smoke, it danced around in your head until you felt dizzy.

"I love you, Colston. The most."

Your eyes felt heavy as you stared out at the water. The moon was almost full as it glowed over the lake, accented by tiny stars.

"I love you more than anything."

Warmth grew in your stomach, spreading to your heart.

"You know it's okay to be real' sad about this baby? You don't have to act like you're okay, especially not with me. I know how much it hurt you, gorgeous. You don't have to act like you are only ever happy. I don't want you to brush off your feelings anymore."

you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.

He said the words quietly, and full of nothing but love. It was true that you were acting like it didn't affect you like it truly did. That's what you'd had to do since your baby siblings had been born, you'd had to pretend everything was fine, even when it wasn't, you weren't. You turned and wrapped your arms around Colston's waist, his arms immediately enveloping your shoulders. You felt tears prick in your eyes as your forehead pressed against his collarbone.

"Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for always being the one to be there. You don't know how badly I needed you, need you."

you don't really love the sun, it drives you wild.

"'M always gonna be here, gorgeous. Never leavin' you alone. Stuck with me."

"Wouldn't wanna be stuck with anyone else."

You stood there silently, hugging on the shore. You were sure your absence didn't go unnoticed, but you didn't really care. You interrupted the peace with a thought.

"Does my dad leaving mean I can give you hickies now?"

Colston's perfect laugh cut through the soft aquatic air. He pulled away from you just a little, shifting to hold your face.

"That's what you're thinking about? Markin' me up now that your dad won't see?"

"I mean, I've been marking you up where he can't see, so."

One of Colston's hand moved to pat your ass as he pulled you into a intoxicating kiss, earning awes and whoops from your friends up the sand. You decided in that moment that everything would be okay.

you're a lying, summer child.

[xhoneygirlxx]

rated r: contains smut

warnings: plus sized fem reader. ethnicity/skin tone is not mentioned. eddie is a perv. pet names used.

*not proofread, ignore any mistakes plz or I’ll cry*

—

Eddie Munson loves to eat you out, specifically after a long work day. Now don’t get it twisted, he would eat you out any chance you got, but there was just something so special about a day long pussy.

It first started one day on a cold winter day, the two of you cuddled up on the couch watching some movie you had been wanting to see, when he noticed. Eddie didn’t say anything but he quickly noticed that warmth was radiating from in between your legs.

So warm in fact, he excused himself to the bathroom just to run his hands under cold water, when he returned he asked if he could put them in between your legs, ya know for warmth. That was the day Eddie found out that you carried a certain heat not a lot of people did.

When he came to you about it, he asked you as respectfully as he could. You shook you head and laughed, telling him since the plushness of your thighs and the fat of your pussy don’t have much of a gap between them, heat just radiates down there.

Despite you telling him that it’s not uncommon, most woman have heat coming from this area, it still didn’t stop his brain from short circuiting.

That was the start of his obsession, which was only made worse after you came home one day from a walk around the park trail with Robin. You had been gone most of the day, leaving him whining and whimpering like a puppy with neediness.

When you walked in, he practically pounced on you, begging to put his mouth on you. You told him no, not until you showered off. He pouted like a child, moaning and groaning about how unfair it was.

You had to essentially sit him down, tell him because you of the heat that comes from those crevices, well it could get really sweaty after a long day. The whole time he salivated imagining the salty taste of your skin and the sweet taste of your cunt.

After that day, Eddie was bound to eat you out especially after a long shift. He had become successful after he promised yo stop the minute you said so - which he always did.

That day he drowned himself between your thighs, pulling orgasm after orgasm from your wet cunt. He was like a man possessed, refusing to come up for a breath of air just for another taste of you.

From that day forward you let him eat you out any time he wanted, especially after a specifically long hard day.

You were pressed into the mattress, Eddie’s hands wrapped around the fat of your thighs leaving an imprint on the skin. He had been going at it for what felt like forever, sweat soaking your skin and the sheets wet underneath your ass from all the releases he pulled from you.

“S’fuckin’ good. Taste s’good, baby.” Eddie voice is muffled from the fat of your thighs.

Pornographic slurping rings out into the room, vibrating off the walls. Your chest heaves, fingers white knuckled as they twist the sheets under you.

Eddie pulls off your clit with a pop before resting his nose in the small bush of hair on your mound.

“I like when you don’t shave babe, makes the smell last longer”, he had once told you. From that day forward you always kept a good amount of hair not only for his perverted satisfaction, but also your own.

You take this time to allow your thighs to ease up, letting them fall slightly to relax. Before you can say whine and buck your hips up, Eddie’s letting out a loud inhale from where his nose is buried in the short curling hair.

“Fuck I love that smell.” Is all he offers before he’s burying his face back into your pussy.

You can’t even form words or chastise him for being gross, not when your pussy is growing wetter by the second and your brain cant even form words.

You moan loudly, head thrashing back and forth after a particularly harsh suck of your swollen clit. Eddie isn’t any better, he moans loudly against your cunt and busies his hips faster against the mattress.

“I could do this all day, baby. Shit- I could die between these legs with my face in this fat pussy.”

His words are spurring not only yourself on but him as well. You begin to right his mouth, jerking every so often the closer you get to your release. Eddie is in the same boat, his hips are beginning to stutter and you know he’s holding off so you can cum together.

“Yes baby, fuck my face. Fucking Christ- I love it when you use me, s’hot.”

You don’t even need to beg, you’re cumming loud and hard, back arched off of the mattress. Eddie is right behind you, a loud groan and the stiffening of his hips lets you know that he came without being touched, the messed in his boxers to be worried about later.

—

Hope you enjoyed!!! Love you all <3

[babygirl-riley]

Imagining a reader insecure and overwhelmed with her acne and ghost comforting her. It’s a need 😭😭 (felt really insecure about mine today)

Insecurity

Simon stood outside of the bathroom door hearing you crying about some sort of breakout

“Tell me, is something wrong? Of something’s wrong, you can count on me.”

A/N: OMG I am so sorry that you felt insecure that day! Hopefully you feeling better! Little short but hey short and sweet! 🖤🤭

Warnings: talks about insecurities, soft!simon, TOOTH ROTTING fluff, swearing

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst

“Love it can’t be that bad.” Simon stood at the door for about 20 minutes. You haven’t had a breakout for a couple of months now. All the routines and meds couldn’t keep it down. And you thought you had it.

You were not only embarrassed by the fact that you have been crying for 20 minutes about your breakout. But Simon being right outside of the door. You text him an hour ago stating that you weren’t going out tonight. It was a small dinner date you both wanted to go to but now with the zits covering certain parts of your face. You refuse. Especially the one spot in the middle on your forehead.

Fuck even fucking the Moon could see it. You have been picking at it for hours trying to make it look less angry. You sighed as you looked at the bottles making sure you got the right brand of skin care. Everything was how it was suppose to be. Tears welled into your eyes as you slammed the bottle back into place.

“It looks so fucking gross and it won’t leave,” You said loudly as you stared at the bump that laid on your forehead. “And it’s right in the damn middle! There is nothing that can make it better! And on top of that everything is suppose to be in the cabinet!”

Simon frowned, he knew this was your biggest insecurity. He felt terrible you thought that a zit made you feel ugly or sad. However, he understood, he used to get them all the time as a teen. Making him feel self conscious about how he looked with them.The thing he more sympathized with was that you had more sensitive skin though. Yes you had it since late junior high all the way to adulthood.

Simon went to sit on the bed as he waited for you to come out. He leaned on his knees as he waited for you to come out “You can’t laugh Si.” You said, he heard your voice crack from another sob to leave your mouth.

Simon half smiled, he would never, you knew that. “Baby I would never. Let’s see the bugger.”

You opened the door slowly until you had it opened enough to see you. You were looking down as he got up and walked to you. You almost forget every time how tall and bigger he is, until he is towering over you. You loved the feel of your neck looking up at him. It brought butterflies in your stomach and chest. He gently grabbed the bottom of your chin, lifting your face so your eyes land in his.

His heart stopped for a moment to see that you have been crying, for a while. It never made Simon happy when you cried for not good reasons. Simon frowned as he looked to your pimple, examining it. It seemed small to him, little bump on the middle of your forehead. Definitely showing that it was irritated, red around the area. “It doesn’t get this bad unless my period is going to start and it’s just so big and ugly. I just don’t want to go out and have people look. And I…”

Simon placed a finger against your lips. “Shh, lovie it isn’t that bad. Have ya been pickin’ at it?” He noticed the small cut that was left on the side of it. You frowned and nodded your head. You had a tendency to do it when you were nervous or irritated that you had one. “‘Ight sit down, on the bed.”

You did what he told you to do, softly planting yourself on the bed. All in the while he leaves the room, you sniffle as he walked back in a bag full of things. “‘M not sure which one you used last time so I bought one of each,” He opens the bag filled with face masks, pimple cream, moisturizers, and scrubs. Your eyes widen as you stare back up at him. “I just noticed what you use once peekin’ now. Luckily that is in there.”

You looked back into the bag, at the face masks and scrubs, first reading each label to see what would help your skin. “You are going to return the rest yes?” You asked softly as you placed the ones that were good for you aside.

“Yeah, if ya can’t use them then I will.” He said softly watching you pull each item you could use.

“And if I ask for you to do a mask with me would you?” You smirked up at him pulling one that had a Lavender scent to it.

Simon looked at it, staring for a moment. Never has he done it before let alone really wanted to. However, with your beautiful self asking for a joint face mask time. He couldn’t resist. “Of cou’se lovie.”

You bite your lower lip. “Can we just stay in and do a small spa?”

Simon chuckled caressing your cheek softly, having his thumb rub your cheekbone. “I would love to. Pizza or Chinese?”

You giggled as you kissed his palm. “Oh pizza baby!”

[gaybitchfx]

-🍓 Character(s): Douma

-🍓 Type of reader: M!Reader

-🍓 Category: NSFW

-🍓 Warning(s): possessive behavior, manipulative love & Stockholm Syndrome

-🍓 Edited: ❌

Your relationship with Douma was a healthy one from the very beginning. You both loved each other equally and showed it in many ways let it be by touch, gifts, etc... That changed for the worst.

Douma began to love you far too much to where he’d put a tracker in your phone so he could know where you were at all times.

If you came home even a few minutes late you’d get an ear full and sometimes a couple of slaps.

He’d comfort you right after, saying how he didn’t mean it and that he was just looking out for you. Being so stupid, you forgave him all because you loved him. How stupid you were. Before you knew it you were kept in the house not being able to leave.

“I’m only doing this because I love you okay?” Douma would say as he kissed your tear-stained cheeks and held your shaking hand which was caused by a recent panic attack. “I just want you to continue loving me no matter what, my love.” That ‘love’ was far gone. But you did as he asked so he wouldn’t hurt you. A month had passed and you decided to go with your plan to leave this cursed place. It was late at night and Douma was of course, asleep.

You knew where the extra key was and decided to try and use that to leave through the front door. What a silly move. When you made your way to the door your hands were shaking, the thought of freedom being on the tip of your tongue as you fiddled with the key. That was until you felt someone’s hand gently caress the back of your head before yanking your hair. A scream left your mouth as Douma dragged you, his grip on your hair tight and firm as he lead you to the bathroom. Surprisingly, the bathtub was already filled with water almost like he knew you were going to try and escape.

Try and leave him. As you cried for Douma to let you go that fell on deaf ears and before you knew it your head was forced under the water. You would kick and scratch, your screams muffled by the water. You could barely make out Douma’s face from under the water but just by a glimpse of his eyes, he had the intent to kill you. If you’re dead he wouldn’t have to worry about you trying to leave him. Douma wrapped his hands around your neck which was still submerged under the water till your flailing began to become weaker.

That’s when he pulled you back up. Letting out a gasp you instantly began crying and there Douma was, comforting you. “Don’t cry my sweet, I’m here~ Do you promise to only stay by me?” Douma pressed small kisses on the back of your neck as you nodded your head. “Yes..” You crooked out, your voice horsed. Since that day, you were chained by the leg to a metal pole that allowed you to go to places you needed to go to.

Everything was babyproofed from the number of times you’ve tried hurting yourself, but that didn’t last long. After being like this for so long this became a normal thing for Douma and especially you. To you this was love. Douma depended on you, but not as much as you depended on him. Always greeting him when he’d come home, sitting with him by the table, and eating together.

Do things ‘normal’ couples did. “I love you so much.” You hummed as you hugged Douma, he held you close with a smile present on his lips.

“I love you more.” He said and kissed your forehead, your tired eyes staring back into him with no light shining in them like the first time you two met. Your eyes used to be filled with life, but now they resembled the dead eyes of a fish. One of your friends had called the police after not seeing you for such a long time. They were concerned and had a feeling Douma had something to do with this. Officer Tengen had brought backup just in case. When they were finally inside everything was a mess. Trash bags were piled up onto each other in corners, the whole house was barely illuminated with light.

Their attention was brought to the sound of chains dragging against the floor. Tengen signaled the other officers to have their guns drawn as they slowly moved towards the room. “Freeze!!” Tengen would shout as he pointed his gun into the room only to see you on the floor and Douma brushing your hair.

In a matter of seconds, everyone knew what was going on and instantly put Douma in cuffs, him screaming profanity after profanity as he was dragged away from you. You on the other hand were taken for treatment both physically and mentally. You never stopped screaming for Douma on the way to the hospital till you tired yourself out.

By the time you arrived at the hospital, you didn’t do anything. Only asking for Douma and Douma only. When they told you he wouldn’t be around you anymore you lost it. Grabbing everything in sight and throwing it at the officers, doctors, and nurses. Even trying to hurt yourself to the point they had to tie you to the bed. When your friends came to see you you nearly hurt one of them, the same goes for your parents. That was not the person they knew before.

The damage has already been done, there’s nothing they could do besides pray.

Pray for your sanity and mental well-being to go back to how it originally was.

[hey-kae]

Ne Quitte Pas

(Don’t leave)

Part 1: Secrets He’ll Keep

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x female reader

Warnings: Angst but gets better, language, mentions of alcohol, some kissing, bad french grammar

Sidenote: Still recovering from the race, check back in in a few days. I’m so sorry, i got carried away and this turned out longer than planned but i’m also really proud of it so I’m not really sorry😭

You’ve read about mornings you wish would’ve never come before. You’re read about people waking up feeling so hopeless that it makes them want to go back to sleep and go on ignoring life and their surroundings and problems.

You’ve read about it, watched movies about it; you never thought you’d have to live through it, but the morning came like an unwanted visitor hurling through the door early in the morning on a sunday.

You woke up in Charles’ painfully silent and empty apartment with swollen, burning eyes, a pounding headache and barely any recollection of last night’s events; just the big headlines. His lips against another woman’s and Charles’ arms around you was all you seemed to remember.

Charles, on the other hand, never slept.

He sat there on his balcony, unleashing all that he had hidden all night long, slouched in a cold metal chair, his eyes glued to the glistening stars in the sky, their shine ironically mirroring the one of the tears he couldn’t seem to stop. He just sat there motionless and crying and waited until he saw the sun peak over the horizon, indicating the start of an immensely dreaded day that he’d have to face no matter how much he felt like he wanted to isolate himself in a small empty room and avoid seeing anyone.

That wasn’t an option, not for him, so he put all his remaining strength into getting up, switching his mind on autopilot, letting it guide him through whatever he had to get done in the next few hours.

His body felt like it was merely a poke away from collapsing. All four of his limbs felt detachable. His head was hurting him like never before and his eyes were a bit swollen after the night spent crying.

Taking a deep breath, he let his body carry him back to the quiet bedroom, his eyes avoiding looking at you dressed in his clothes and tangled in his bedsheets at all costs. The thought alone made him want to rip out his heart and throw it out of the window since he couldn’t cuddle you while in that attire.

All while biting onto his lip, he grabbed his gym clothes out of his drawer and headed off to the bathroom where he was met with the sight of the pile of used cotton pads thrown onto the floor. He held his breath as he leaned down, picked them up and tossed them in the trash can, not giving himself any time to dwell over the memory of last night, instead busying himself with brushing his teeth and getting dressed.

His reflection in the mirror wasn’t much kinder than his thoughts. He looked like his own bully, getting mocked by his own self for being dumb enough to fall for the one person he would never have, ridiculing himself for being too much of a coward to say or do anything about his feelings.

He had enough of his mind’s torture. The toothbrush was tossed back into the cup and the lock on the door was aggressively opened as he stormed away from his mocking figure.

After getting out of the bathroom, he grabbed his ready-to-go gym bag and rushed to escape the apartment, planning to head straight to his scheduled early training session in the gym nearby. But, much to his misfortune, he wasn’t even out the door when his mind started bugging him with unwanted thoughts that made him angry at himself, especially when these thoughts made him gravitate back inside, away from the front door, pushing him back to go into his kitchen, leaving the duffel bag in the middle of the living room where he angrily tossed it to the floor.

Furious with the way his brain worked, Charles let out an exaggerated huff, reaching for an empty cup, a new bottle of water and various kinds of painkillers. Then, he rummaged through his snack cabinet, pulling out a bunch of your favorite foods. He put his collected items on a small tray and took it back to the bedroom, neatly placing it on the bedside commode.

His eyed seemed to have a mind of their own. They betrayed him and strayed to your sleeping figure as you slept in a fetal position when he heard a soft mumble you had let out while deep in slumber. His first reaction was to cringe as he saw how bad of a job he had done when removing your makeup but then he noticed how tight you were hugging his pillow and he felt his heart clench at the sight, wishing he could just slip into bed and hug you just as tight, providing you with all the support you needed to do whatever you wanted in life.

He wanted to be that for you: a support, a safe shore, the calm in the chaos. He wanted you to feel at home in his arms, at peace by his side, loved under his gaze. He wanted to show you love, pure and selfless love that would leave you feeling like you’re floating, like nothing mattered but him and you, wrapped up in each other’s arms nightly, talking about anything and everything, never fearing judgement.

With that last thought, he quickly looked away with a heavy sigh.

“Arrête cela, idiot.” Stop this, idiot. He whispered to himself as he rushed out of the apartment once again, not turning back this time, only because he managed to shut his mind off and allowed it to guide him down to his car.

However, it had escaped his mind how much of a torturous place to be his car currently was.

He’d be lying if he said he remembers any second of the drive to the gym, which wasn’t good because the more he thought about it, the clearer the mocking headlines that would be written became had he crashed or had he had an accident.

But he just couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t stop his mind from replaying the four words you had whispered to him just last night in the same car he was driving. The words that seemed to have put an ever-bleeding wound in his heart, eliminating the chance of you and him ever happening, sealing the deal with a stamp that used his blood instead of ink.

“But, i love him.” The small sentence echoed repeatedly through his memory, sounding like a ringing bell warning him with painfully loud and obnoxious noises. He had replayed that sentence so much that he hadn’t noticed the vallet waiting for him by his door, observing him questioningly as he stared at nothing with wide eyes, a clenched jaw and a horrified expression.

Sighing out a curse word, he stepped out of the car, quickly mumbled an apology to the man waiting for him and rushed to the entrance, trying to avoid being recognized at all costs.

Barely ten minutes into the workout, while he was still warming up, he started feeling the effects of the lack of sleep. He felt weak and drained, his eyes feeling heavier than the weights he was trying to lift but he made it through the warm ups. However, his concentration was nonexistent as well. His trainer had to repeat any instructions given to him many times, what weirded him out because Charles was never like that.

Not even halfway through the session, he was told to “just go home and sleep if off, whatever it is.”

Charles wouldn’t have assumed it but that was his breaking point, him not being able to focus on part of the job he was so passionate about.

He dropped the equipment he had in hands and stormed out with a pissed off laugh escaping his lungs, started feeling guilty about the way he walked out before he was even outside the building, went back in and apologized for his behavior then got into his car and started trying to figure out where to go, because there was no way he was gonna go home right now. He doesn’t know if he would survive it and even if he did, he felt like it would maim him for life.

He needed to clear his mind.

He drove too long around the familiar streets of his hometown, people were starting to take notice of him, some of them pointing their cameras to his passing car as he drove by. He usually loved the attention but not today, not when he was choked up, alone and about two words away from crying or falling asleep.

Desperate for an escape, he found himself robotically driving to the one place he wouldn’t be questioned or judged. It wasn’t until he was in front of his childhood home’s front door with his mother’s arms around him that he felt the last wall he had built fall and crumble at his feet.

His expression was one a mother could easily read on her child’s face. It provoked instant worry in any mother’s heart because he looked right on the edge of breaking and losing it all.

“Qu’y a-t-il, mon petit?” What’s wrong, my little one? She asked as she hugged him, assuming that she wasn’t going to get an answer.

“Je suis si fatigué, maman.” His voice broke as he whispered the small response, pulling away and shaking his head, revoking an further words his mind urged him to let out. He walked towards the kitchen instead, feeling safe and at ease in the familiar and warm house.

His mother didn’t ask him anymore questions. He was her son, after all. She knew him enough to know that if he wanted to vent, he’d do so without her having to pressure him into it. She just made him a hot cup of tea and sat with him in silence, watching him as he stared out of the window into the distance like he had a million thoughts on his mind, not one of them clear.

After drinking a few sips of the tea in undisturbed silence, Charles disappeared into his childhood bedroom. His back leaned against the door as he closed it and stared around the room, missing the days where things were so much simpler. Now, it was different. Now, he had to make a decision between telling his best friend that he loves her while she’s going through one of the worst breakups of her life or staying silent and suffering through his feelings alone.

These thoughts alone exhausted him.

He curled up in the small bed, figuring he has a simpler decision to make now: to fall asleep or to cry his eyes out because he was definitely in desperate need of both. His body however had already made the decision for him since it had been exhausted by staying up for over 24 hours.

He fell asleep within two minutes, his arms wrapped around himself like he was craving being held, the last thought on his mind being of younger Charles and how he would react to having to make such a decision. He fell asleep wishing he could hug that little kid right now because he felt bad for him.

—

“Charles, t’es ici?” Charles, are you here? A knock sounded on the wooden door, “Charles…”

His eyes fluttered open as he recognized Arthur’s voice outside the room.

“J’suis ici.” I am here. He groggily called back, turning on his back and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “Tu peux entrer, Arthur.” You can come in, Arthur.

His eyes watched as the door handle moved and his brother appeared in the room, just like old times, taking cautious steps in.

“Maman m'a dit que tu dors ici depuis deux heures et que tu étais faché quand t’es arrivé. Je voulais te dire que tu peux me parler si tu veux.” Mom told me that you've been sleeping here for two hours and that you were upset when you arrived. I wanted to tell you that you can talk to me if you want to. Arthur seemed concerned, especially since Charles never showed this kind of emotions, not if it wasn’t something serious that was making him feel this way.

However, it was undeniable that no one from the Leclerc family had ever witnessed Charles run off to his childhood bedroom to sleep off whatever emotions that were taunting him. Never as an adult, at least. It highly worried his mother and brothers.

Meanwhile, the thoughts in Charles’ mind were highly contradictory and almost unfathomable as he was debating if he wanted to talk about this, fearing that it would feel even realer if he spoke it out loud, but he just needed to say it, to take it off his chest, to hear the words validating his feeling because part of him seemed to be gaslighting the other part into denying them since that would definitely be the easier option.

The more he thought about it, the more Arthur seemed like the right person to talk about this with.

“J’ai foiré.” I messed up. He blurted, sitting up in the bed and dropping his head in his hands.

Maybe talking about this would help him see things clearer.

His brother took a seat across from him on the edge of the mattress, frowning with confusion but feeling relieved that Charles was opening up. In all honesty, the way his mother had urged him to go talk to his older brother made his blood run cold for a few minutes.

“Qu’a tu fais?” What did you do?

“Tu sais y/n? Mon amie?” Do you know y/n? My friend? He asked and Arthur nodded.

“Je l’aime.” I love her. He said the words and went silent, the weight of the brief sentence crushing him. He looked away, blinking away a few tears that had pooled in his eyes.

He refused to show Arthur how screwed he was but he definitely felt it. He felt his lungs tightening and the aching in his chest getting worse with every passing second. He felt the pulsating of his heart and the confusion in his head. He felt the air become thicker and much harder to breathe. He felt the room getting smallest and the lights seeming dimmer. He felt it all.

“Elle est restée avec moi hier soir après que son copain l'ait trompée et elle était ivre et elle pleurait et - putain... c'était l'une des plus pires nuits d’ma vie et maintenant je n’ peux pas le lui dire nulle chose parce qu'elle est si vulnérable aprés tous ce qui c’est passé et tout est si gâché et je n’sais pas quoi faire ou comment agir ou quoi lui dire quand-“ She stayed with me last night after her boyfriend cheated on her and she was drunk and she was crying and fuck... it was one of the worst nights of my life and now I can't tell her anything because she is so vulnerable after everything that happened and everything is so messed up and I don't know what to do or how to act or what to tell her when- Charles mindlessly rambled as Arthur stared at him wide eyed.

“Charles! Aspire, expire…” Inhale, exhale… Arthur breathed in demonstration, cutting off Charles and making him realize how fast he was talking.

“Je sais pas quoi faire, Arthur.” I don’t know what to do, Arthur. He sighed, biting onto the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t cry but it was getting hard to push back the tears, especially as he felt his throat tightening again and his eyes burst with held back tears.

Arthur took notice of Charles’ glistening eyes but didn’t say anything about it. He just kept quiet for a few seconds, watching Charles and noticing the forced breaths, the repetitive gulps, the fiddling with the rings and the way he seemed to be biting the inside of his cheek as a failed attempt to hide the pain. He saw how much his bother loved you and how much it was hurting him to.

“Où est-elle maintenant?” Where is she now? Arthur sighed.

“Endormit dans mon lit.” Sleeping in my bed. He forced the words out.

“Oh, wow…” Arthur’s eyebrows rose as he understood how complicated the situation was.

He took a moment to contemplate what he should should say, that ephemeral while of silence making him feel sad for his brother as he realized there was really no perfect solutions, just scary ones competing against terrifying others.

“Ecoute, tu doit lui dire eventuellement, n’est ce pas? Et que fais tu ici si elle est à ta maison? Tu dois être à ses côtés!” Listen, you must eventually tell her, right? And what are you doing here if she's at your house? You have to be by her side!

Charles laughed away the tears, “Je suis à ses côtés depuis des années! Cela n'a jamais rien changé, pourquoi le ferait-il maintenant?” I’ve been by her side for years. It never changed a thing, why would it now?

Arthur debated his response, getting up and pacing around the room, “Mais tu vas lui dire que tu l’aime, n’est ce pas?” But you’re gonna tell her that you love her, right?

Charles shook his head almost immediately, “Pas maintenant. Je ne veux pas qu'il semble que je profite de son chagrin.” Not now. I don’t want it to seem like i’m taking advantage of her heartbreak.

He said as he pulled himself up and ran his hand through his hair, attempting to tame the loose strands but not really caring enough to use a mirror. Then, he reopened the door and strutted down the memory-packed hall with a blurry vision since the tears seemed to have a mind of their own by now.

“T’es beaucoup trop bon pour ce monde.” You’re far too good for this world. Arthur mumbled as he watched Charles leave the room.

To some degree, he hated how selfless his brother was acting, especially since it was obvious how painful this situation was for him but he still knew that there was no force in this universe that would be able to change Charles’ mind about such decision. So he followed him to the kitchen and watched him hug their mom goodbye and head to his car with a slouched posture that did a perfect job portraying how hopeless he felt.

On his way to the apartment, Charles stopped by the grocery store and bought the makeup remover he knew you used. It was yet another thing you had never noticed but Charles memorized all the details about you, not in an obsessive manner but simply because he cared a bit too much for his own good.

Two spoons of sugar in all hot beverages, vanilla scented shampoo, purple colored skittles, berry flavored chewing gum… He noticed it all and knew all your preferences. Every favorite of yours, he knew.

You loved the night more than the day because it was quieter and you got to watch the sunrise. The concept of time and space was something you didn’t know much about but that you loved discussing at every given opportunity. The ever growing pile of books in your bedroom was just a coping mechanism because nothing in real life felt as true and intense as the things you read about in these pages. One of your favorite things to do is making awfully situation-specific playlists. You loved analyzing complicated song lyrics and wished you had picked up on playing an instrument when you were younger since it seemed much harder to do so now. You loved sad ending endings in movies because they felt more authentic, especially since everyone will eventually die so even the people who got a happy ending only got a temporary one. The concept of being in love never made sense to you and you weren’t afraid of debate over that with him until your now ex-boyfriend came along and that thought seemed to have been erased.

He knew you so much, he felt like there was never a time where you weren’t in his life. However, the future devilishly grinned at him, reminding you that a time without you might be sooner than he thought.

The thought kept him a hellish company as he drove home with a tense jaw and clenched fists.

When he unlocked the door and walked into the utter silence reigning over the apartment, he figured you were still asleep so he went into his bedroom to add the makeup remover to the care-tray he had left earlier, fully expecting you to still be in bed. However, the bed was neatly made, the tray was gone and so were you.

Confused and hurt, he started looking around the room, somehow missing the sound of running water in the bathroom, but when he finally walked in there, he saw you hunched over the sink, trying to get rid of the mascara remains from the previous night.

He hated it. He hated it so much when he felt his whole body react to the sight.

Seeing you around his house so casually was doing things to his heart, not cute things like butterflies and jitters; painful things that felt like stabs being repeatedly delivered right to his skin. He froze and watched you, figuring he might as well appreciate this while it was happening and completely forgetting about the bottle he was carrying that would make your task easier until he felt it begin to slip out of his grasp, his mind too distraught to keep holding it.

“Oh! There you go.” He suddenly spoke, placing the makeup remover on the sink next to you while simultaneously scaring the life out of you since you thought he wasn’t home.

“Fucking hell!” You jumped, “You terrified me!” Your heart was beating out of your chest as you turned to face Charles, having missed his reflection behind you in the mirror.

“Sorry.” He grimaced, taking a step back as you caught your breath from the scare.

Once you recovered, you grabbed the makeup remover, noticing that it was your preferred kind.

“Thank you. This is my favorite brand.” You flashed him a small smile.

“Oh, really?” Charles’ eyebrows rose in question, “I didn’t know.” He pushed the lie past his lips.

“Yeah. Whenever i asked that asshole to buy me some, he always bought the wrong bottle.” You frowned at the thought as you squeezed some of the product onto your palms then onto your face, washing away any remaining makeup and patting it dry with a towel that Charles was quick to hand you as he thought your words through.

From Charles’ point of view, this was just another ironic comparison that did nothing but further prove that he could treat you way better than any of the fools you’ve dated ever could.

“Well, he was always useless anyway.” He shrugged, leaning back against the wall to fake nonchalance.

You sadly smiled, “Feels good to finally be able to openly trash talk him, doesn’t it?” Your eyes met Charles’ in the mirror, “You were so right about him and i just feel so stupid ‘cause i never listened to you.” Your shoulders dropped as the act you had attempted to put on failed, the tears you thought were gone making their way back to your eyes.

Charles pushed himself off the wall and took a few steps so he’d be by your side. If he knew one thing for sure at the moment, it was that his heart wouldn’t make it through a replay of last night.

“Hey, please don’t cry.” He wiped a tear that had strayed down your cheek, “He is the stupid one, you can be sure of that, because how can he lose you? He should be fighting everyone and everything to keep you, sweetheart. Has he even called? Or asked where you are?”

“He called once.” You said, knowing that him only attempting to contact you only once was just as bad as not trying at all.

Charles felt like storming that guy’s house and beating the shit out of him but he knew he couldn’t do that so he asked you what you were planning to do now, especially given your housing arrangement.

You had moved in with your now ex-boyfriend a few months ago. Charles would never forget that torturous fact because he helped you pack and move in, ripping a piece of his heart out with every item he helped you organize into the boxes.

You told him you had talked to your friend who was your old roommate in the morning and you were gonna move back in with her. He nodded and offered to drive you to get your stuff.

With a heavy, painful breath, you nodded and told him to give you a minute, thanking him for everything he has been doing for you. The kiss you placed quickly on his cheek felt like a cigarette being put out against his skin, making him flinch in pain.

You had no clothes with you so you’d have to stay in Charles’. Looking down at what you were wearing, you realized that it wasn’t so bad: gray sweatpants and a black shirt. You tied your hair and got going.

Thankfully, you managed to pack everything without seeing your ex. You didn’t know it but Charles’ gratitude was double yours because, quite frankly, he had no idea what reaction he would have had the two of you bumped into him.

Following that day, Charles had a trip to Italy, then came a double header then another trip to Maranello and before the two of you knew it, over a month passed without neither of you contacting the other.

Charles felt it like one would feel addiction withdrawals. It made his life hell. He would often jolt out of sleep in the middle of the night with tears streaming down his cheeks, he’d space out repeatedly during drivers’ meeting and team debriefs, he’d get drunk at any chance he had to the point where Pierre had to prevent him from ordering more drinks one time.

The first week, he rejected it. He flirted with too many girls to count and danced with just as many at afterparties where he consumed way too much alcohol.

The second week, he tolerated it. It was painful and lonely once he realized that no girl would ever be you. He never slept, ate only what was necessary and never left his room unless it was racing related.

The third week, he survived it. Everyday felt like a mission and getting out of bed in the morning became the hardest task. Following his trainer’s and nutritionist’s instructions became too much.

The fourth week, he welcomed it with open arms. He cried, washed his face, trained on the simulator, slept then cried again. He came to accept and love the pain that came with loving you.

He went through hell and settled down in its deepest pits, but he never tried changing anything no matter how much Arthur and Pierre, who was now aware of what was happening, told him how stupid what he was doing was. Sleeping the days away wasn’t going to make him feel better. Drinking most of his nights into oblivion won’t make him forget you. Crying through all the evenings wasn’t going to be the solution to the problem. He didn’t let a single word of that register in his mind. He never even tried to talk to you about it.

He never tried changing anything because he hoped you’d leave his system soon.

You never did.

—

The fifth week was now and Charles was back home in Monaco.

It was yet another day and another plan Charles had managed to dodge. He has been holed up in his apartment, barely ever leaving it, keen on avoiding you, figuring that would help his case. It seemed like he learned absolutely nothing from the past month. The two of you had a lot of common friends so he never knew if you’d be there if he agreed on going out anywhere. Plus, Monaco wasn’t exactly vast.

It was a Saturday night. He had declined yet another invitation from his friends and was sitting in the dark of his living room, watching some random movie he found on the television when he heard pounding on his front door.

Frowning at the aggression of the knock, he turned on the lights and cautiously made his way to the door, opening it slowly, only to find your angry figure glaring back at him.

“Can i know why you’ve suddenly decided to ignore my existence?” You pushed past him into the apartment.

His eyebrows rose in dread while he was still facing away from you. His heart warned him then, whispering to him where this was gonna go, what direction the night was headed in. He gulped at the thought. He’d most likely have to be honest with you. He would most likely have to wound and scar himself permanently tonight.

His hands sweated and his legs felt weak. He was holding his breath as he felt his stomach turn and his heart beat aggressively in his chest.

Fuck, he had missed you. He missed you so much but he never let himself acknowledge it. However, seeing you so close to him made him realize that no progress had been made. He still felt the urge to pull you to his chest and kiss your lips with all the love he was feeling for you. The sound of your voice still reignited every cell in his body

“I haven’t been ignoring you.” He tossed all his honesty out the door before slamming it shut, flinching because of the slam and his lie.

You laughed in irony, watching Charles’ tensed posture.

“You know, you might be right because, after all, you’ve been in Monaco for a whole ass week now and i still haven’t seen you nor heard from you once. You’re right, you haven’t been ignoring me. You never had to because you’ve been avoiding me.” You rightfully accused, your hands on your hips as Charles turned to face you, avoiding your eyes like a cat avoids open-water.

His appearance was a bit different to you. He looked exhausted and had dark circles under his eyes, which was weird since he was currently on break. His hair was slightly longer and therefore fluffier than the last time you saw him and the smooth shave of his face was replaced with a light stubble.

“Arrête ces absurdités!” Stop this nonsense! “Why would I avoid you?” He looked at anything and everything but you as he moved back to the couch, dropping down onto it and hugging one of the oversized cushions to his chest.

Charles was trying so hard to fake some strength and emotionless but for the past few weeks, the thought of you had been enough to leave him crying in his bed so having you right there in front of him, an arm length away from his was making a mess out of his feelings. He was in so much pain, having to look you in the eyes, knowing that the only thing he was allowed to do was watch from a distance.

“Don’t ask me! I wouldn’t know, Charles!”

When you received nothing from him but a nod, you sighed in surrender and decided to stop with the accusations.

“Listen, last time we saw each other, i was rather drunk and even though I think i remember most of the night, it wouldn’t surprise me if some details slipped my mind. Did i do or say something? Is there a cause to this?” You gestured between the two of you, pointing out the sudden tension you had never felt before.

But Charles has been feeling it for a while and while it was still newfound in your eyes, it has been suffocating him for a while now. But even through the choked breaths he was taking, he still felt guilty that he was making you feel like this was your fault.

“You did nothing wrong, ma chère. This…” he gulped, “This is about me, don’t worry.”

If anything, that worried you more. This man keeping his feelings, thoughts and worries to himself was the worst thing that could happen. When it did, it meant that he was in the verge of loosing it and exploding.

You sat down next to him, your heart breaking when you saw that the tears had pooled in his eyes.

“Alright. So talk to me…” You calmly said, you eyes drifting down to watch the way he was nervously fiddling with his ring, twisting it around his finger in a loop just as endless as his thoughts.

He looked to the other side, his leg starting to bounce as he thought his next words through.

“I can’t. I can’t talk to you about this, I’m sorry.”

You frowned, his response making you wonder what was so going so wrong with his life, what had gone so terribly wrong in the month of distance that would leave him such a distraught and hopeless mess.

“Is it something with Ferrari? I know they tend to fuck up but-” You subconsciously put your hand on his leg for comfort but he cut you off, his whole body jolting at the contact like he had been electrocuted. He stood up quickly, both his hands pulling on his hair as he started pacing around the room.

“It’s not that.” He angrily wiped a tear away.

“Then what is it? Qu’est ce qui se passe avec toi, Charles?” What is going on with you, Charles?

“I can’t fucking speak to you about it. I just fucking can’t.” He shouted.

“Why?” You pushed, debating what type of reply you were gonna get.

“Can you leave? I don’t want to talk.” He shocked you with the words, making your eyes widen because this was so unlike him. Sure, he never liked talking about his feelings but he was always polite about it, shrugging off the questions by a change of subject, not like this.

You swallowed your pride and stayed because you saw the pain in his eyes and you saw that he was holding back, hiding something a bit too well. You weren’t going to leave him like that. His state of mind was scaring you.

“I’m not leaving.” You waited for any reaction out of him but he remained still as stone, staring at a wall that has suddenly become more interesting than this conversation.

“Fucking look at me, Charles! I’m not leaving, okay? So talk to me because i feel like I’m loosing my best friend and I don’t fucking like it!” You got up and tried to face him, your voice getting unintentionally louder the more the situation and Charles’ heavy silence frustrated you.

It surprised you when he took a step towards you, basically closing all remaining distance between the two of you, his eyes angrily staring into yours in a way that felt soul-gripping. It was an expression that you’ve never seen him have before. It scared you, not from him, never from him but for him because it seemed like too much was going on in his mind.

“Go on. Call me your best friend one more fucking time and watch me fall apart right in front of you. Go on, do it! I fucking dare you.”

Despite his furious tone, you could see the tears pooling in his eyes. You could see the barriers falling apart and the walls crumbling.

Maybe his words’ meaning wasn’t actually clear or maybe your mind didn’t want to understand what he was implying. In both cases, you were confused.

“W-What?” You stuttered as a frown twisted your face.

Charles’ hands aggressively rubbed his face in frustration as he turned away from you, chuckling to push back a sob that was caught in his throat.

“Nothing. Please leave. I’m begging you to go, I can’t do this. Ça c’est cruel et c’est tout à cause de ma naïveté. Je suis tellement stupide. J’ai vraiment pensé que je pourrait te dire tout mais non… je peux pas. Je ne pourrais jamais. S’il te plais, je t’en prie, quitte. Je veux être seul, je te supplie. Je n’peut pas faire ca maintenant. Je n’compend plus rien et tu viens ici et…et, je n’sais plus rien, pas du tout mais-“ his voice broke as you watched him in disbelief, not knowing what was happening nor what to do, “Merde, je vais pleurer. S’il te plais, quitte.”

This is cruel and it's all because of my naivety. I am so stupid. I actually thought i could tell you everything but no... I can't. I could never. Please, I'm pleading you, leave. I want to be alone, I beg you. I can't do this now. I don't understand anything anymore and you come here and...and, i didn't know anything anymore, not at all but- … Shit, I’m gonna cry. Please, leave.

He felt so powerless with so much pain coursing through his system like it had replaced the blood in his veins. He didn’t have not once fiber of sanity left nor any energy, not even enough to keep him standing so he crouched down, his elbows supported on his knees as he hid his face in his hands, shielding the sight of his now streaming tears from you. He was so hopeful that you’d actually leave and give him a bit of time, but at the same time, he didn’t know how he would take the disappointment of you actually leaving him alone like this.

On the other hand, you had no plans of abandoning him at his worse. It was breaking your heart, seeing him like this. This was opposite to everything you’ve ever know about Charles. You knew that if he was showing these emotions openly, he must’ve reached his breaking point. You’ve seen how he deals with some disappointments in his life: calm and collected reactions, silence and lack of words, meticulously picked out phrases and carefully selected facial expressions. All that is opposite to this, to crying and rambling and emotions that seemed all over the place.

You crossed the room towards him, kneeling down by his side, mind reeling with thoughts about what you had to do. All thoughts were deemed pointless when you instinctively hugged him without thinking it through.

“No, please no.” He slipped out of your arms and stood back up, wiping his face with his shirt.

The small rejection hurt. You just wanted to comfort him.

“Why? What have i done to make you hate me, Charles?” You gave up and allowed yourself to fall into a sitting position on the floor.

Charles’ head snapped towards you at the sound of the words.

“Hate you? That’s what you got from this? That i fucking hate you?” He laughed in disbelief, feeling your eyes studying him so carefully, dying to understand, begging for a clear explanation.

“Was there something- What was I supposed to understand from this, Charles? ‘Cause this is confusing the shit out of me! I’ve never in my life seen you like this and you won’t even let me hug you or try to make you feel better. What do you want, Charles? What the fuck is this about? Tell me! Fucking tell me already!” Your body stood up on its own, moving to plant itself right in front of Charles who looked away, refusing to meet your eyes.

“Look at me!” You started off strong but felt your voice wither and shake when you continued, “Please… Please, Charles, just please look at me.” Your lip quivered as his image turned to a silhouette behind the tears that had made their way to your eyes.

“Je n’peux pas.” I can’t. He replied in a shaky whisper that angered you so much, made your blood boil and blinded you with a bright flash of red.

“Why?” You shouted, demanding an answer.

“Because i fucking love you.” He screamed back, finally allowing himself to catch a glimpse of your face, seeing the way your eyes widened and your jaw dropped.

“I love you so much, ça m’étouffe le souffle.” It’s suffocating me. He cried, “Je n’sais plus rien faire. Je n’sais plus comment vivre. Ça me tue car je sais bien que c’est inacceptable, mais que puis-je faire? Je comprend rien de que je sens, la seul chose que je suis sûre et certain de est que je t’aime beaucoup plus que je peux le supporter. Pardonne moi pour tout, mais y a rien que je peut faire.” I don’t know how to do anything anymore. I no longer know how to live. It kills me because I know it's unacceptable, but what can I do? I understand nothing I feel, the only thing I am sure and certain of is that I love you much more than I can bear. Forgive me for everything but there isn’t anything i can do.

As his words registered, the room started feeling like it was spinning. The lights were too bright, the air was too thick, the ground was so far away and seemed like it was swirling. Your head felt heavy and every emotion you thought you had gotten rid of crawled back into your chest, ripping at your heart and squeezing the air out of your lungs. His small sniffles sounded so distant, echoing in your mind and forever imprinting themselves there.

“No…” The disbelief stole your voice, leaving you with a faint whisper, “No, Charles. You’re lying! You’re lying right?”

He bowed his head, not responding. You didn’t need an answer though. He was the most honest he has ever been, you could see it and feel it and it was freezing you in your spot.

“Fuck.” You sighed, moving your hand to your forehead as you felt yourself getting lightheaded, “How long? Since when? Please tell me you hadn’t realized it yet that night! Charles, please…” You sobbed, your eyes glued to his motionless figure as his silence told you everything you needed to know.

“Oh my God, that is why! You knew it back then, that is why you said all those things. Fuck, Charles, is this why you left the bed? Is this why the pillow was wet? You were crying that night? You were crying and you let me just sit there and take advantage of your feelings? Fuck. Fuck, i am so, so sorry.” The words were barely intelligible since they got endlessly interrupted by the gasps you had to take as it got so hard to breathe through the tears.

“Since when, Charles? Please-please, i need to know.”

You watched his chest rise up and down sharply as he inhaled deeply to he able to speak. It shattered your heart, hearing how straggled and shaky that breath sounded.

“Je n’sais pas… Une année à peu près?” I don’t know… About a year?

The world stopped spinning for a while, simply by the effect of his confession. For that much time, he was suffering in silence. For that much time, you had talked to him almost daily and never once noticed a thing. For weeks and months on end, you had brought your boyfriend, now ex, around and acted all lovey-dovey with him right in front of Charles.

This felt life altering and you hated to think about it, but it probably was.

Overwhelmed by everything, you fell back against the couch in a slouched posture, you head landing against the backrest as you breathed heavily, your eyes wide open.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You breathed the question out, looking at everything but Charles’ pained face, even as your expression began mirroring his.

“God, Charles! You should have told me…” you leaned into the palms of your hands, sobbing as you thought back at the past months.

“You should’ve told me, goddamnit.” You felt Charles moving around the room. You looked up and found him sat on the couch across from you, crying just as hard, his eyes bloodshot and his cheeks flushed. The sight was heart wrenching, so painful you looked away from him.

“Seven fucking month, Charles…” You shook your head in disbelief, “I spent seven months crying myself to sleep every night, seven months watching you from afar like you were so out of reach even when you were right by my side. It was torture. No, it was fucking living hell, having to force myself to get over you when i never even wanted to do it. It was the worst seven months of my life and then i got into the worst relationship of my life and all of that was just so i could forget you, Charles! And now, what? You tell me this after everything and-”

“No, you have got to be fucking with me!” Charles, abruptly interrupting you, shot off the couch, his hands intertwined behind his head, his mind fully refusing to register a word you said, “Get over me? You had to fucking get over me?!” His voice got louder and louder with every word.

“You liked me? Is this what you’re trying to say?”

“I fucking loved you, Charles!” You screamed back at him.

“Et pourquoi n’a tu pas me dis? Pourquoi devais-je te dire si tu n’as jamais dit rien? Dit moi! Pourquoi?” And why didn’t you tell me? Why should i have told you when you never said anything? Tell me! Why?

You hated to admit it but he was right. The same reason you didn’t say anything seemed to be the same reason he kept his feelings to himself.

“You’ve right but i said nothing and neither did you and now here we are, now this is what we’re doing.” You dried your tears since they had magically stopped.

The shock also stopped Charles crying but he felt like he was on the verge of loosing his sanity. If he knew, he would’ve made sure to save you and himself an endless load of pain. If…

Sure, your confession gave him a small silver of hope but that silver’s shine was one scratch away from vanishing forever and he feared he’d have to witness that scratch being made.

“Do you still- Are you over me?” He asked with a trembling, fearful voice.

The answer that would come from you would be life altering. He’d either lose you and get to love you openly. He would either have to live through many months like the one that had passed or he’d get to accept and cherish his feelings.

With so much on the line, he didn’t know if he actually wanted a reply. This state of nothingness, of numbness, of not knowing… this small something will always be better than losing everything.

He watched your lips move before he actually heard what you said. It looked cinematic, really.

“I am.” His heart dropped and he breathed in sharply, the two syllables ending his hope, freezing his blood and stabbing him in the heart.

Fuck, that was it? This is gonna be the end!

“I’m not, actually.” The tears made their way back to your eyes, “Fuck, i don’t know if i’m over you, Charles. You’re- you’re… I don’t know! You’re you! You’ve always been ‘my Charles’. I need time.”

He couldn’t let you walk out the door, not now, not like this. His arms wrapped around you the second you got up.

He never understood the cheesiness of characters in movies feeling “like i have my whole world in my arms when i hug you.” but he got that now. With you in his embrace, crying into his chest like this was all the safety you needed, he felt like everything he wanted or needed was right in his arms, clinging onto him like letting go would hurt.

“Stay. Please, i can’t handle you leaving now.” He whispered into you hair.

“I need to figure out what i actually feel.” You forced yourself to push away from him, the rupture from his hold leaving you feeling cold. That in itself said enough but you can’t base everything off it, you wouldn’t allow yourself to hurt him anymore than you already unknowingly had.

“I understand.” He nodded. “Mais reste ici. Je rentrerai à ma chambre et je resterai là bas jusqu’au temps que tu voulais, mais ne quitte pas, s’il te plaît.” But stay here. I’ll go back to my room and I’ll stay there for as long as you want me to, but don’t leave, please.

You nodded, you eyes locking with his as he hesitated for a second before kissing the top of your head quickly and making his way to the bedroom.

You closed your eyes and took a seat, hearing his door shut at the same time.

Hours passed with you sat like that.

Thought after thought flooded your mind, some of them scary, some of them pleasant. Memories you didn’t even know you had appeared in your brain. You cried thinking about walking away from Charles. You smiled as you imagined a life with him. The answer to all the questions was obvious because when you were thinking about a future with Charles in it, you didn’t think of seeking each other out for advice nor of casual lunch meetups. You thought of holding his hand, of hugging and cuddling him, of kissing him and feeling his touch all over your body, of making love to him and showing him how much you loved him. You thought of dinner dates, lazy mornings in each other’s arms, stormy night bundled in in bed, holidays by each other’s sides and small getaways together.

When you thought of having Charles in your future, you thought of him as a lover, a boyfriend, a safe shore you can run to when things get hard; not of him as a best friend that always seemed to come in second place.

While these thoughts bombarded your brain, Charles paced around his room, allowing the stress to control his body.

While the thoughts you had were getting better as the time went on, the thought he was having were getting more and more petrifying with every passing minute. He had managed to convince himself he had lost you for good, that this was hopeless. At some point, he had to fight himself away from the door separating the two of you. At some other point, he found himself sprawled out on the bed with tears streaming from his eyes as he imagined having to let go of the small hope he had left, as he imagines having to get over you and leave you in the past. He didn’t want to let go of you, he realized, he wanted to love you until his dying breath.

He loved you so much. He loved you in a way that made him wanna take you out on dates to all your favorite places, in a way that made him want to take you on spontaneous car rides in the middle of the night just because the two of you wanted to, in a way that made him want to put your favorite songs on repeat just to watch you smile and sing along to them.

Charles loved you so much that he would just end up imagining falling asleep next to you at night and waking up to you cuddled into his side in the morning.

Even that Saturday night over a month ago, he didn’t fully understand the true depth of his feelings, but he does now. He loved you in novel-worthy way.

Eventually, he felt his eyes getting heavy, especially since he had woken up early to train on the simulator in the morning. He fell asleep at midnight no matter how much he was trying to fight it.

Half an hour later, the decision finally became clear to you.

You called for Charles but got no response.

You frowned and moved cautiously to his bedroom door, knocking on it softly.

“Charles…” Nothing, just utter silence on the other side of the door.

You felt your stomach drop, the thought of him being alone in the state you had seen him in earlier suddenly making you worried sick that something had happened after you made him leave you alone.

With a shaky hand, you turned the door knob with fear taking ahold of all your body functions. You peeked inside the room, your burning eyes taking a minute to adjust to the mostly dark room but when they did, your heart ached at the sight.

There he was, curled up in his bed and soundly asleep. You leaned your head against the door and watched him silently.

He was so much more than anyone in the whole entirety of this universe deserved. Keeping his feelings and pain to himself for a whole year was yet another thing that validated that hypothesis. You never felt like you deserved a friend like him, let alone a lover but selfishness never looked so good to you.

Not knowing what to do, you let your instincts move you. You stepped into the room, took off your shoes and slipped behind him in the warm bed, making sure to pull the covers over him since he seemed cold. You delicately wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your cheek against his clothed back, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and listening to the soft sounds of him breathing.

In his sleep, he moved his hands to rest over yours on his stomach so you intertwined your fingers with his, feeling the metal of his rings against your skin, memorizing the detail quickly.

You were starting to realize that you loved every small thing about him. The feeling was so overwhelmingly joyous, it put tears in your eyes for all the right reasons this time. Needing an outlet for the feeling, you kissed his shoulder blade and pulled him closer.

You felt guilty when you watched him stir awake, quickly taking notice of your intertwined hands and therefore immediately looking over his shoulder to see you there beside him.

“I’m sorry, i didn’t mean to wake you up.” You murmured to him.

“Mais, non. I’m glad i woke up.” The sheets rustled as he turned to face you, keeping his hand in yours.

“So…” Charles tried asking, feeling optimistic that you were in bed with him.

Sighing, you began searching for the right words.

“I’m trying so hard to phrase this the right way but you know i’m not good with words so please take that into consideration.” You smiled, brushing your hand along his face like he was an artistic masterpiece you were oh-so-delicately inspecting.

“First of all, i feel so bad for all that i forced you to deal with that night, so i want to apologize for everything. You didn’t deserve to be put in such a painful position, so please forgive me. But, the more i think of think of it, the more everything about that Saturday makes sense. Fuck, i didn’t remember this before but i saw you… God, Charles, i saw you crying on the balcony and i feel so bad for making you cry like that.” The sobs came back with the memory of him hunched over the railing, his body shaking from the cries.

Charles pulled you to his chest where you hid your face as you cried, shushing you softly and telling you that it wasn’t your fault.

“No, please. I need to say this.” You sat up in the bed, crossing your legs and leaving your hands to lay in your lap as you heard Charles sit up too, supporting his back on the headboard and pulling you backwards so your body was laying against his chest.

“I wasn’t asleep when you left the bed so i just want to say a little something. Je veux t’montrer que tu mérites le monde, l’univers même! En faite… je veux que tu me laisses te montrer que même ce monde entier n’est pas suffisant pour te remercier pour la façon dont tu change ma vie, Charles.” I want to show you that you deserve the world, the universe itself! In fact, I want you to let me show you that even this whole world is not enough to thank you for the way you change my life, Charles. The words were broken apart by sobs that turned every breath you took into a gasp as you said everything that had went through your mind these past few hours.

A newly discovered character trait of Charles was that he will never be able to hear you cry without breaking down himself so that explained the violent way his tears returned as he heard you struggle to speak.

“Tu m’as dis que tu m’aimes incroyablement alors je veux que tu sais que je t’aime incroyablement aussi et que je n’peux pas imaginer une vie sans toi.” You told me that you love me incredibly so I want you to know that I love you incredibly too and that I can't imagine a life without you. You turned to face him after blurting out the last part in an unsure french, finding a big smile on his face even as the tears continued pouring from his eyes.

His hands around your waist guided you to turn completely towards him, finally facing him and getting to see his expression, relief washing away the frown and worry from his features. For the first time in a while, he looked at peace.

Your eyes couldn’t seem to stop studying his face. His eyes were saying so much and even in this exhausted state and despite the tear stained face, he still looked like an angel sent from above, your angel now.

Your hand acted on its own, reaching up to trace along his cheek, just trying to appreciate the moment to the maximum. He grabbed it in his and brought it to his lips, kissing your palm while his eyes locked with yours.

“I love you.” You exhaled the three words like you were relieved to say them.

Watching Charles’ smile in reaction to that made you want to repeat these words to him forever.

“I love you.” He said with no hesitation, the feeling of finally saying the small sentence right to your face freeing him of all the pain and torture of the last few weeks.

Meanwhile, as you continued studying his features, your gaze traveled down to his lips, making you wonder how it would feel like to kiss him. Then, you realized you’d get to experience that sooner of later and your heart fluttered at the thought.

Charles was quick to notice your looks and it made him smile so hard once he realized what was on your mind.

His fingers hooked under your chin and he lifted your head so you’d look him in the eyes. The eye contact made electrical waves shoot through both your systems as Charles leaned in, bringing his lips to yours in a soft, loving and passionate kiss that felt earth shattering no matter how delicate it was.

His lips felt like a perfect fit against yours. You quickly lost yourself in him and his touch, so quickly it made you feel so regretful that the two of you had wasted that much time withholding yourselves from doing this. However, soon enough, you were shocked back to reality when you tasted a salty tear intervene with the kiss.

“Hey, what is wrong?” You pulled away and cupped his face.

He shook his head, “Je suis juste si amoureux de toi, bébé.” I’m just so in love with you, baby.

Smiling, you brought your lips back to his in a lazy kiss that you too shamelessly cried into as it conveyed all the emotions the both of you had.

“Please stop crying so i can get myself to.” You said after the kissing stopped, using your thumbs to wipe his face, “I can’t keep seeing you like this.”

His arms wrapped around your shoulders and he brought you down to lay on his chest as he took deep breath that helped him stop the crying.

For a while, you sat there in each other’s arms, just listening to the breathing of one another and fiddling with each other’s fingers. It seemed surreal that you were so sure you wouldn’t mind doing this forever.

“Would you let me take you out on a date tomorrow night?” Charles broke the silence as his hand brushed through your hair.

Smiling into his chest, you nodded.

“It would be my pleasure to go out with you.”

“Good.” You could hear his grin what made you chuckle softly, already thinking about how tomorrow would go.

Tomorrows suddenly became so exciting.

[thezombieprostitute]

Good moaning. 😇

A/N: Sorry this took awhile @navybrat817. The muses weren't working with me.

A/N2: Reader is AFAB, Tall & Plus Size; Ended up working through a lot of my own insecurities on this one. Left it open ended because it's a lot longer than it should've been. It was supposed to be open ended but then Hal insisted on showing off.

Part 2

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: Insecure reader. Please let me know if I missed any.

Hal had always been the most notorious flirt in the office. Every woman had been complimented, flirted with, made to blush by him. Except you. When it came to you, Hal was all business. Maybe some friendly gestures, but that was it.

You should be used to it by now. You'll never forget in high school when your crush said, "I just never thought of you as a girl. I don't think of you as guy," he was quick to say, "but I just don't think of you as a girl." And it seems to have been the same for every guy, every crush, ever since.

Dating apps only seemed to make things worse. You'd be really getting along with someone, they'd talk about how personality is more important, but as soon as they actually saw you, their demeanor shifted. They always just wanted to be friends. You were pretty sure spinsterhood was your only option. Especially if even the Hal Carter wasn't willing to flirt with you.

"You should be grateful," some of your friends would chide you. "You don't have to worry about being harassed or assaulted." And you were grateful that those weren't concerns for you. But you weren't bemoaning a lack of problems, you were bemoaning an abundance of loneliness.

"Hey, Y/N," Hal's voice snapped you out of your self-pity party.

"Yes, Hal?"

"Do you have the specs for that Potts order? I need to double check a few things."

"Sure thing," you nod as you go to the filing cabinet. You find the paperwork he needs and hand it to him.

"Are you alright," he asks.

"No different than usual. Why?"

"You just...you seem...um. How do I put this?"

"Hal, please just tell me I look miserable and get back to work? I'm not in the mood for beating around the bush. I'm painfully well aware of how I look." You're struggling to keep the tears at bay and just want him to leave you be.

"Is there anything I can do? I hate to see you like this."

"No, Hal, there's nothing you, personally, can do. I'm just having a self-pity party after yet another bad date and I need to be left alone."

"You're dating?" His face is filled with genuine surprise and it's the straw that breaks you. You stop fighting the tears and just run to the bathroom to let it all out in private.

By the time you're done crying you're exhausted. You should get back to work but you just can't fathom spending more time around people. You get back to your desk, send a note to your boss and head home early. You're just gonna let yourself cry and sleep it out.

When you get to work the next day there's a bouquet of blue hyacinth and white lily-of-the-valley flowers. The card had a simple "I'm sorry" card signed by Hal. You really should apologize to him, it wasn't his fault. It was just really shitty timing. Still, you appreciate the flowers. You can't remember the last time anyone got you any.

You get into the flow of work, catching up on things you missed yesterday, so you don't notice Hal slowly making his way to your desk, like he's afraid you'll lash out. When you finally look up and see him, you give him a soft smile and he takes that as an okay signal to close the distance to your desk.

"Thank you for the flowers, Hal," you start. "You really didn't need to. You did nothing wrong."

"I ask you a question and you leave crying," Hal huffs. "Pretty sure that means I did something wrong."

"Believe me, Hal, if it was something you did, I'd have told you." You shake your head, "it's just me being overly sensitive. And I'm sorry I worried you or made you feel it was your fault. You don't deserve that."

"So, you're single and looking," Hal slowly says.

"For now," you sigh. "Seriously contemplating giving up but I just can never bring myself to ever fully give up hope. No matter how many times I get hurt."

"Maybe it's your technique," he offers. "If you need help with your flirting, just let me know. I can teach you a few things."

Against your better judgment you open up the dating app and the messages you shared from the last guy you met for a date. You show them to Hal and tell him how you could've done better.

"Huh, you're a smart cookie," he says. "Talking to this guy about smart stuff that definitely goes over my head. Why didn't he work out?"

Trying not to lose patience, he is just trying to help, you calmly tell him, "because he saw me. That's how it always goes, Hal. I'm not pretty enough. I don't fit into any of the molds that define 'attractive'. I never hide my build, my picture, but there must be quite the difference between photos and real life."

"Sounds like your problem is that you keeping attracting douchebags," Hal observed. "Just need to find yourself a good man."

"If it were that easy, I wouldn't be so lonely."

"You don't think I'm a good man?" He seems genuinely upset by this thought.

"Hal, please be careful because I don't want to cry at work again," you start. "Regardless of whether or not you're a good guy, you've never once expressed interest in me, so why would it matter if you were a douchebag or not?"

"This is definitely my fuck up," he sighs. "I was trying to be respectful of you. I was trying to treat you differently to show I think about you differently."

"Yes," you agree. "That came through loud and clear. You want to be workplace friends at most. I understand that. It's not a fuck up."

"No, not like that," Hal counters. "I...I flirt with everyone but you because I didn't want you to think I thought of you as just another pretty face. I kept it professional with you so you would know that I am respectful of you as a person. That I appreciate working with you and don't want us to get separated because the boss thinks I'm doing more flirting than working."

"I don't want your pity, Hal," you scold him. "If you're not interested, you're not interested. I don't blame you! But a pity flirt? That's hurtful."

Instead of backing down, Hal puts both hands on your desk and leans closer towards you, neither of you breaking eye contact. Your eyes are filled with a simmering anger and his beautiful blues are steely with determination. "I will prove to you, however I need to, that my feelings and intentions are genuine."

"I need to get back to work," you reply with ice in your voice.

"Challenge accepted, Dandelion," Hal smirks before leaving you to your work.

Part 2

Tagging @alicedopey and @icefrozendeadlyqueen because I promised I would

[loveandmurders]

Could I get a poly Sinclair comforting/helping their girlfriend who is curled up crying in pain from her period? Sorry if this isn’t something you write and feel free to ignore it! I’ve been curled up on my bed since last night because I’ve been in so much pain

Hello baby, I so understand this pain. I send good vibes and hugs to everyone with a mean uterus <3

Hope you'll enjoy this <3

MY PERIOD IS A BITCH (afab reader x poly!Sinclair brothers)

Warnings: blood (obviously), pain, reader is grumpy, few strong words, fluff.

You knew it was going to be a very shitty day when you woke up early in the morning in a blood bath. 

You had been very grumpy last night so you had asked your three lovers to leave alone for the night. 

They were always very reluctant to not sleep in the same bed as you, because they were greedy and insatiable boys, but you weren’t even in the mood to let them kiss you or hold your hand, so they understood it was better to leave you alone.

And you were glad you asked them to because your bed was a mess, just like your pyjamas. 

You had to run to the bathroom to clean yourself up and to change your clothes. You really hated to start your day like that.

You hoped you didn’t leave a bloody trail behind you. 

You cursed in between your gritted teeth because you were so annoyed at yourself, even though it wasn’t your fault.

You heard soft knocking at the bathroom door.

“Ya okay?” Bo asked you as he had heard you running to the bathroom.

“Fuckin’ blood everywhere but yeah” you replied before opening the door. “Can ya help me change my bedsheets?” you asked and Bo understood what was going on and instantly nodded.

The great advantage with living with killers was that they really didn’t care about blood and that there were always products to remove blood stains in the house. It was something you didn’t need to worry about.

Once you finished taking care of your bed, it was when you first felt the cramps.

You let yourself fall on the bed, clenching at your belly in pain. It was like someone just stabbed you in your uterus, over and over again.

“Shit” you mumbled, biting down your bottom lip to keep quiet.

Bo was quick to be at your side and to help you get back in bed. It wasn’t the first time he saw you in pain because of your period, so he didn’t need to ask anything. 

It didn’t make it any easier for him to see you that way.

The boys hated to see you in pain. Especially when they couldn't do much about it.

“Gonna bring ya painkillers and a hot water bottle, kay?” Bo offered and you replied to him with a faint smile.

The only silver lining of being in pain was that your men were going to be extra nice to you. You were so grateful to have them taking care of you, like no one ever did in your whole life before.

Bo was always the most practical one. 

At the beginning of your relationship, he really didn’t know to react - like his two brothers to be honest -. But once he understood what were your needs, he was very quick to reproduce the same gestures. 

You were feeling emotional? Alright, he could give you a  hug and little kisses all over your face to make you feel better. 

You were in pain? Alright, he was getting you drugs and something hot. 

You were grumpy? Alright, he could put on your favourite movie on TV to cheer you up while cuddling on the couch with you.

Once Bo knew what to do and how to control the situation the best he could, he was less tense about it. Of course, he was happier when you weren’t experiencing pain, but it was worse when he didn’t know what was going on with you.

When Vincent entered the kitchen and saw Bo preparing a hot water bottle, he instantly knew what was going on and why you had been so annoyed with all of them last night.

He forgot about his breakfast and was quick to climb the stairs to check on you.

You were curled up on your bed, tears in the eyes when he softly knocked at your door before entering your room. He frowned when he saw you and he sat by your side.

He gently stroked your hair, his eyes scanning you with concern. You grabbed his free hand and held it with a lot of strength. 

He removed his mask and leaned to press a soft kiss to your cheek.

When you were going insane because of your period, Vincent was your personal cuddle buddy. He was like a giant teddy bear who never left your side and tried his best to comfort you by bringing you tenderness and warmth.

He also made sure you ate and had plenty of water, always keeping an eye on your health and wellbeing.

He would also try his best for you to rest as much as possible.

He would do everything that could appease your pain.

When Bo came back to your room with everything you needed, Vincent was already all over you.

Bo playfully rolled his eyes at his twin who was always acting like a mother hen with you when you were hurt, sick or in pain.

“Thanks, Bo” you whispered as you took the painkillers and settled the water bottle under your clothes.

“‘M leavin’ ya into good hands, baby.” Bo mused as he leaned to press a quick kiss against your dry lips “Let me know if ya need anythin’ though. Vince ain’t the only who can take care of ya” he reminded you. 

Vincent also rolled his eye at that and you almost laughed at their sweet bickering. 

They always were fighting to be the favourite. They just couldn’t help it.

“’Course Bo” you promised and it reassured Bo enough for him to go to work, even though he would come check on you more often than usual.

You tugged Vincent closer to you to let him know you wanted him in bed with you. He quickly got the message and wrapped his arms around you as he snuggled under the sheets with you (he was still in pyjamas).

After a little while, you slowly started to feel better but you thought you needed Lester to buy some more pads/tampons for you.

You dialled his number and as usual he answered you right away.

“Yes, darl’?” he asked

“Are ya goin’ for an errand soon?” you asked back

“Sure thin’, what do ya need?” he hummed, always ready to do anything to please you

He loved that he was the one you were calling when you needed something, it made him feel important in your life, which he was.

“On my period, so I need the usual stuff” you told him, a little bit grumpy and annoyed at your body.

“Ya good?” he asked with a frown

“Oh well, it’s bein’ a bitch, nothin’ unusual” you groaned as Vincent started to gently massage you, trying to help the painkiller do their work quicker

“Hate to hear that, darl’. Vince’s with ya?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. His brothers would never leave you alone.

“Yep, he’s sayin’ hi” you hummed as Vincent nuzzled into your neck, softly smiling against your warm skin. He was enjoying being allowed to cuddle you as much as he wanted.

“Good. Gonna bring ya some pads and snacks, kay? Do ya need anythin’ else?” he asked and ya relaxed a little bit. Lester was really the best and he always knew what you needed.

Well you perfectly remembered the first time you asked him to buy some pads and tampons for you… He called you at least six times to make sure he was in the right aisle and buying you the right stuff.

Because he was both clueless but very eager to do good, and absolutely adorable, you resisted the urge to yell at him that day.

“Sounds good, Les.” you hummed “Bring a lot of snacks, please, and I might share a little bit with ya” you teased even if for the moment you were feeling quite nauseous and not hungry at all.

“I’ll recall ya that” Lester chuckled.

Pain calmed down for a little while before getting worse once again. It was coming and leaving like a wave.

You cried and curled up even more.

But your three men never stopped looking after you all day, comforting you and bringing you what you needed to feel better.

They were good at that.

You ended up falling asleep in their arms, surrounded by snacks, plushies and pillows.

[mariacrow]

❉ TFP Ratchet x reader ❉

It’s been some time since problems at home were keeping you away from it. You would stay in the base for days, weeks… Sleep on the couch and barely eat. When you wouldn’t go out to get food, Miko, Jack or Raf would bring some of their home cooking or just pick up something on their way to the base. Everyone is concerned for you… Especially Ratchet.

1st person

female reader

angst and fluff

takes place in the TFP base

bad mood, concern, crying, comfort

suggestive relationship between Ratchet and the reader

I overslept today, again… As usual, I couldn’t sleep so I stayed up until 2 or 3 in the morning, I can’t even remember… I was watching TV on the couch or just scrolling through my phone. I woke up at around 11:30am.

“Morning, sleepy head.” Ratchet said, working since early hours. He needs only a couple of hours of stasis to rest and go back to work. Last night he was still up when I went to sleep.

“Good morning…” I said in a groggy voice while going down the stairs, heading to the bathrooms to do my morning routine. Thankfully this base belonged to the military so it has bathrooms.

Bulkhead walked past me, seeing I’m not in the mood for morning talk. Then he approached Ratchet.

“She bunked in here again, huh?” he asked.

“Again.” Ratchet confirmed, sounding more concerned than irritated. Not getting his eyes off the computer and control panel.

“I kinda worry about her man…” Bulkhead said, looking at my direction.

“We all worry.” Ratchet said.

“You know she only talks to you, right? As in talk talk. THE talk.”

“Yes, I know, Bulkhead.” Ratchet sighed, “But this is not something she’d open up so easily about. Now can you let me work in peace? Please.” he wasn’t irritated by Bulk, it was the concern that wouldn’t leave his head keeping him away from concentration.

Bulkhead nodded, “I’ll go on patrol.” he said before he transformed and left the base.

“Very wise.” Ratchet said.

I went back to the little cozy human corner we made, sitting on the couch, checking my phone. No sounds coming from me except yawning.

“You need to eat.” Ratchet said.

“I’m not hungry…”

“Y/N, it is not healthy for your organism.”

“You’re a robot medic, for robots, not humans… If I’m not hungry, I don’t eat.”

Ratchet sighed in irritation, “For Primus’ sake. Bumblebee and Rafael will be here soon with some food and drinks.”

I didn’t respond to that.

“…Y/N. Come here.” he said as he stopped working, looking at me.

I sighed and left my phone, barely getting myself to stand up, dragging my feet to his working area. Leaning against the metal fence, keeping my head bowed. He was right at my eye level but I had no courage to look him in the optics.

“Look at me.” he said calmly, in a quiet and soft manner.

I looked slightly to the side.

“Y/N, look at me. Please…” I’ve never heard him talk like this before…

I finally looked into his optics like a sad puppy.

“What?” was the only word that I could muster.

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong, I can help you.”

“You can’t help me-“

“I can. WE can. You just need to talk to us. I know you find it difficult to open up but now it is time. If you don’t want to talk to them, at least talk to me… I am your guardian.” he interrupted.

“You never wanted to admit you’re my guardian-“

“Well I am!” he interrupted again, he sounded kinda proud. “Perhaps I never wanted to say it in front of others because… I guess I just.. I don’t know…”

That made my heart ache… “It’s okay, Ratchet… I understand…”

“No, no it is not okay. I am here to protect you. I am here for you.”

I’ve never heard him speak like that… It made my face expression soften up. Everything has been piling up lately and this was my breaking point… I hid my face in my hands as I started quietly crying…

“I’m sorry, Ratchet… I’m so sorry… I didn’t want to hide anything from you, I just-…” I sobbed.

He didn’t really know how to react. He isn’t good at this, at comforting. But he could feel his spark ache… He might be a grumpy old medic but he isn’t sparkless…

He carefully picked me up, gently holding me in his servos as he brought me to his chassis. I couldn’t help but cling onto him like a baby koala, hiding in the crook of his neck while quietly sobbing.

“Don’t cry… Please, don’t cry…” he said, gently rubbing my back, “Everything is going to be alright… I’m here for you. All of us are here for you. I’ve heard it’s difficult at home…”

I nodded, “Yeah…” whimpering as I was trying to calm down.

“You can stay here as much as you’d like, sweetheart. You’re more than welcomed.”

I nodded again, clinging onto him harder.

“Shhh… It’s alright… I’m not going anywhere…”

“Th-thank you, Ratchet…” I stuttered due to my unstable breathing.

“But promise me one thing, sweetums.”

“Yeah..? Wh-what is it..?” I looked up at him as he looked down at me, bringing me closer to his face plate.

“Eat and drink. Do not neglect yourself, it is very unhealthy. You already lost weight, I can feel it…” he said while gently drying my eyes with his digit.

I nodded, rubbing my reddish nose. “Yes. I promise.”

“That’s a good girl.” he said as he softly kissed my forehead, scooting some hair away from my face. He made me smile and cheer up.

“Can I stay here while you work…? I mean.. here here…” here in his comforting embrace.

“Naturally.” he said with a warm smile as he held me with one of his servos, continuing to work with the other. I could feel his spark getting warmer which comforted me even more.

+ bonus +

Arcee, Bumblebee and Optimus in the back.

Arcee: …what in the-

Bumblebee: *while holding food* buzz beepboop buzzbuzz beepboopbeep

Optimus: indeed, Bumblebee. I have never seen Ratchet like this before either.

Arcee: well she definitely found his soft spot. Never knew he actually had one.

Optimus: Ratchet might be rough on the edges but inside.. he cares about all of us very deeply. *epic OP speech*

No, I don’t have a father figure, how did you know?

Dividers belong to @cute-sushi-roll , @conanstars 🧡