#especially with tinie wonho there :'''(((( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunshinyminho · 2 years

Text

lose

⇢ pairing: han jisung (skz) x fem!reader

⇢ genre: angst, smut, the exes trope

⇢ summary: jisung always tells himself it’s the last time, but you both know that it won’t be.

⇢ word count: ~6.9k

⇢ rating: 18+

⇢ warnings: a n g s t, ex!bf jisung is still whipped for reader (it’s pretty toxic though), booty call (is that what it’s called still?), jisung has inner turmoil, felix is a supportive bestie, jisung is stubborn and doesn’t listen to reason, oral (m.), fingering, protected sex, tiny bit of dom!jisung comes out, reader is pinned down by their wrists for part of it, dirty talk, cursing, some choking, unresolved arguing, some crying, unrequited feelings (or are they…?)

⇢ release date: may 26, 2022

A/N: hi!! this is my first jisung fic…he was my wrecker for the longest time (pretty much since I started stanning in october of 2020, oops) but he recently became an ult a bias. so naturally, i wanted to write about him. it’s a sad one though - sorry in advance. (loosely inspired by wonho’s song lose)

It always started the same way.

You would send a text. Jisung would respond.

The place and time didn’t matter, just as long as you ended up together. And when it was over, Jisung promised every time it would never happen again.

How many of those promises had he broken over the last several months?

Jisung didn’t even know, and he was more disgusted with himself for coming back time and time again than he was with you for always instigating it.

Tonight was no exception. The familiar buzz of his phone as it sat on the table beside him briefly caught his attention.

Somehow he always knew when it would be you on the other end.

A quick look at the time. Just before 2 A.M.

Seemed a little early for you to call him up, he thought.

[you] 1:47 A.M.: come over

[you] 1:47 A.M.: i miss you

Jisung took a deep breath in order to collect his thoughts. Beside him, Felix noticed immediately, placing his game controller on the coffee table in front of them.

“Hey, you good?” Felix had paused the game they were playing, all attention now on Jisung.

He’d offered to come over earlier so they could have a movie/game night, and Jisung didn’t have it in him to refuse. Plus, he missed his friends and knew if there was one thing to cheer him up, it would be them.

He hadn’t expected you to text him, though, and that changed the course of everything.

“Yeah, no, don’t worry about it. Just a text.” He placed his phone face down on the table and gave Felix what he hoped was a sincere look. Felix frowned.

“A text? This late?”

Jisung let out a small sigh. “Yeah.”

“Who would do that- wait. Wait, no…don’t tell me.” Felix’s frown deepened and Jisung fidgeted on the couch.

“It’s her, isn’t it?”

Jisung’s silence spoke volumes in that moment.

Felix groaned with frustration as he leaned back into the couch, almost like he could sink in to it. “Ignore her. Please.”

“Just leave it alone,” Jisung was quick to dismiss, like he usually did.

All of his friends were obviously concerned for him and his propensity to be drawn to you, despite the fact you’d broken up months prior. But he tried to play it off each time to assuage their worry - and each time he failed miserably at it.

“Are you going to?”

Jisung looked over at Felix, eyebrow raised. “Am I going to what?”

“Leave it alone. Leave her alone. Even though she should be the one leaving you alone-”

“Dude, enough.” Jisung said it with finality. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you and everyone else breathing down my neck about the decisions I choose to make.”

“We do it because we care about you, something she clearly knows nothing about.”

“Yeah, well…” Jisung trailed off and crossed his arms. He didn’t have it in him to argue with Felix-

-especially when he knew Felix was right.

The balance of feelings involved in your relationship with Jisung was wildly off kilter. He knew that.

He understood that the way he felt for you wasn’t reciprocated, that the sex and sentimentality you two shared now meant barely anything to you.

And if it did mean something, you were an expert at keeping those feelings hidden.

Jisung knew better than to be hopeful. But in those moments where you whispered to him as he held you in his arms, those moments where you kissed him softly and all that mattered was the way your lips moved perfectly against his-

In those moments, he’d let himself have a tiny bit of hope.

“Look, we all know this is a toxic relationship and it needs to stop. You guys are over with, done, no good for each other.” Felix took a breath, impacted by his own words. He hated being negative about things.

“And I know it hurts to hear that, but it’s true.”

Jisung was well aware. And when his friends were around, when there were other people who could hold his attention, it was so much easier to deny you.

It was nearly an hour later when Felix finally fell asleep that Jisung responded.

[jisung] 2:38 A.M.: no you don’t

The 3 dots at the bottom of the screen popped up immediately, and his heartbeat quickened at the sight of them.

He felt stupid.

[you] 2:38 A.M.: thought you’d be sleeping by now

[jisung] 2:39 A.M.: am i ever at this time of night?

He should stop responding. He should silence his phone, put it in a different room, stop using it altogether for the night.

He really should block your number.

But of course, he didn’t do any of that.

[you] 2:40 A.M.: no

[you] 2:40 A.M.: because you’re usually with me

Jisung ran a hand down his face before he looked over at Felix. He should follow the blonde’s lead, just fall asleep curled up on the couch next to a dear friend.

Felix was a bit of a hard sleeper. Jisung knew this from times he’d snuck out before.

Well, it was his apartment, so maybe sneaking out wasn’t the right term. With how it made him feel each time, though, it might as well have been.

Jisung sighed again before he typed out a response.

[jisung] 2:41 A.M.: what do you want?

He saw the 3 dots appear, disappear, then appear once more. This song and dance occurred a few more times before your responses came through.

[you] 2:42 A.M.: isn’t it obvious?

[you] 2:42 A.M.: i want you

“Fuck,” Jisung muttered under his breath, leaning his head back against the couch. He stared at the ceiling as he tried to will his body not to react to your words.

When he looked at his phone again, the message was still staring him in the face.

[jisung] 2:44 A.M.: stop lying to me

He really wasn’t making this any easier on himself.

[you] 2:44 A.M.: but i’m not

Jisung would fold any minute now, if past behavior was anything to go by.

[jisung] 2:45 A.M.: i don’t care

[you] 2:45 A.M.: stop lying to me

He walked right into that one.

Jisung’s leg bounced as he contemplated what to do. His brain told him one thing while his heart told him another, and your incoming texts did nothing to help with that.

[you] 2:45 A.M.: i know you want me

[you] 2:46 A.M.: you want this

[you] 2:46 A.M.: you never stopped

Jisung leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He ruffled his hair as he looked down at the floor.

[jisung] 2:46 A.M.: you don’t know that

[jisung] 2:47 A.M.: you don’t know what i want

Apparently neither did he, as indecisive as he was.

[you] 2:47 A.M.: i always do

[you] 2:47 A.M.: and if you come over

[you] 2:48 A.M.: i can show you

The last of his resolve was crumbling.

You were pulling out all the stops tonight, saying everything you knew he wanted to hear - what you usually did on nights where he didn’t cave as easily.

[jisung] 2:48 A.M.: why are you trying so hard?

A genuine question. But that didn’t mean he’d get a genuine answer.

[you] 2:49 A.M.: because i need you

Jisung could feel his body heating up. He wanted you. He wanted you badly.

No matter how much he knew he shouldn’t, he craved you and your sweet words, longed for your touch.

After a few minutes of no response from either side, his phone lit up.

[you] 2:52 A.M.: you know i’ll leave you alone if you ask me to

He knew. You had before, on the rare occasions he didn’t give in.

You were persistent and incredibly persuasive when you wanted to have your way, but you wouldn’t force someone into something unwillingly. If he asked you to stop, you always did.

So far, he hadn’t asked you to do that tonight.

And right now, as fucked up as it was, he didn’t want to.

[jisung] 2:53 A.M.: i know

[you] 2:54 A.M.: so let me take care of you

[you] 2:54 A.M.: please?

The begging. That’s what always got him. Whether you were begging him to come over or begging him to fuck you until you couldn’t stand, your begging always made him weak.

With one final sigh, he typed his parting response.

[jisung] 2:55 A.M.: on my way

After a last glance at Felix’s peaceful, sleeping figure, Jisung stood up. He quietly gathered his jacket and car keys before making his exit, only looking behind himself once before he closed the door gently.

He drove in silence, thoughts running rampant and his heart beating fast.

His shame followed him the entire way to your place

You jumped on Jisung the second he stepped inside. It didn’t take much time for him to succumb to your advances, not when you knew how to kiss him just right and say whatever he wanted in that moment.

His hands had gripped at your waist with a newfound urgency once you pinned him against the door upon his entry, and the way it made you stutter into the kiss had his mind reeling.

So, naturally, it didn’t take him long to get hard; it never had taken long with you, anyway.

As soon as you’d noticed it, you sank to your knees, a song and dance you both knew too well. Jisung bit his lip when you looked up at him, smiling sweetly with those eyes that seemed to sparkle.

He had to look away when you wrapped a hand around him, leaning his head against the door.

“Missed you, Sungie,” you teased him, pumping him slowly. He swallowed hard, unable to stop your words from affecting him while he focused on how nice your hand felt.

“Stop talking,” he tried to say sternly. He didn’t need this from you, not tonight. The quicker he could get done with all this, the quicker he could go back home and try to forget.

“Hm? Why’s that?” You increased your pace and he groaned softly.

“You know why,” was his brilliant response.

You giggled and it made him fidget. Every little sound you made always did something to him.

“I do,” you continued, tone teasing and making him feel hot. “It’s because you don’t like it when I talk with my mouth full, right?”

He was about to respond, but you cut him off without a warning as you took his head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around before pulling off again.

The instant your lips wrapped fully around him, Jisung’s hands found their way to your hair. As his fingers intertwined with the strands his mind went blank, brain only focusing on how good you took him in.

You added to his suffering when you moaned around him, the vibrations causing him to twitch in your mouth. He could cum just like this, just finish and leave you to your own devices once it was said and done.

But Jisung had always been more of a giver than a taker, and as much as he was confused about where you two stood regarding your relationship, he knew one thing to be true. He could never leave you hanging like that and he wasn’t about to start now.

“Fuck,” he stuttered out, grip tightening the deeper you went. The moment you started choking around him he almost lost it completely.

You had to pull off for a moment, coughing as you did, but still stroking him so the pleasure wouldn’t fade. You looked up at him and it took everything he had to not blow it right there.

Jisung wanted you. He needed you.

And with the way you were looking at him, he almost let himself believe that you wanted him too.

He pulled you up, unable to wait any longer.

“Come here,” he urged when you were steady on your feet, pulling you closer by placing a hand on the back of your head. You met him halfway, lips molding together like you were made for each other. Your hands carded through his hair before you gave it a gentle tug, causing him to groan into the kiss.

“Fuck, I need you,” Jisung said it softly when he pulled away, forehead resting against yours.

His eyes were closed and you were invading all of his senses. Your touch, your presence, everything that was you was all he could think about.

“Can I have you?” He asked it with sincerity, already knowing what your answer would be, but never failing to ask regardless.

He opened his eyes in time to see you nod with eagerness, lips finding his again as he hoisted you up to wrap your legs around his waist.

The smooth skin of your thighs made him feel warm all over, it was like he still memorized how every part of you felt. When he placed you on the bed, the shirt you were wearing hiked up and he got a peek of what was underneath.

Nothing. You weren’t wearing anything, and the thought of you needy and waiting for him, ready for him while he drove to your place-

-it made him want to absolutely wreck you.

“C’mon, Ji,” you coaxed him when you caught him staring. “Don’t make me wait.”

His eyes darted up and he saw you smiling, the same smile that always made his heart do a flip.

But he should be angry at you, right? He shouldn’t care about how beautiful you looked and how weak one smile could make him.

This was just a quick fuck, nothing more. No strings attached, no pesky feelings, nothing other than two people who want to get each other off.

So, Jisung flipped his own switch. He’d mask those other feelings threatening to bubble up to the surface, like he typically did, and he’d give you what you want.

In a flash he discarded the rest of his clothing before he set one knee on the bed, causing it to dip under his movement. He tossed a condom packet to the side, where it was still within reach for when he’d need it.

“Shirt. Off.”

You looked puzzled for just a moment before you scrambled to follow his order, and the moment you were completely bare he moved.

He pinned your wrists above your head, mouth hovering over your own and as held eye contact. You let out a small gasp at the sudden movement, and he gave you a sickly sweet smirk.

“You drive me fucking insane, you know that?” He hissed as the grip around your wrists tightened and you let out a whimper. You didn’t make any of the sounds or say any of the words that meant ‘stop’ though, so he knew you liked this.

It had been a while since he’d gotten rough with you, probably since the first time this happened after the break up. Back then he had all these pent up emotions, the largest of which was longing, followed closely by anger and confusion.

Best way to release that tension? Fuck it out.

“Can’t think straight when I’m around you,” he continued, trailing his lips along your jawline. He pushed your wrists down into the bed gently before letting them go, his signal for you to keep them there. You obeyed, for once you didn’t decide to be a brat.

Jisung didn’t know what to do with this information but he decided not to dwell on it for too long.

He reached behind him to find the condom before he rolled it onto his length, but instead of lining himself up with you, he traced his fingers around your clit.

You jumped at the action, a soft moan escaping. He could feel how wet you already were, and he plunged two of his fingers inside you with no hesitation.

The feeling of him finally inside of you in some way made your back arch. The sight of you twisting in pleasure, but still keeping your wrists above your head, it made him almost lose it completely.

“Fuck, I can’t stand you,” he continued, setting a ruthless pace that had your sounds increasing in pitch. “Always so fucking needy, begging me to come over and ruin you.”

“Is that what you want?” His started talking louder and added his thumb to your clit, making you scream out. “Yeah? Want me to wreck you?”

“Yes, please” you cried out, and Jisung couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to feel you, he needed to fuck you, he needed you.

He removed his fingers much to your dismay, but within a few moments your whimpers of protest were replaced with moans of pleasure once again. He filled you up in one fluid motion, and there was nothing slow or gentle about the way he started pounding into you.

One hand held you down as he drilled into you, the other traveling upward until it was planted by your face. Jisung grasped the sheets, trying to anchor himself as he got lost in the feeling.

His eyes closed and moans started pouring out of his own mouth, unable to control himself because you felt so good around him, you always felt perfect, like you were made for him.

Of course, the fact that he was probably still very much in love with you had nothing to do with that, he was sure.

His eyes snapped open when he felt your hand close around his wrist that was beside your head, and he watched with wide eyes as you moved his hand. You placed it around your neck, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing yours to put it back above your head.

“Please,” you begged and Jisung had to focus on anything but you for a moment or he’d cum on the spot. You were begging him - begging him to choke you, no less - and there was only so much the man could take.

He granted your wish though, applying just enough pressure and giving you that feeling that you always longed for in times like these, something he was happy to give you.

You once told him that it was something you’d never done with anyone before, and that you enjoyed it with him because he made you feel safe. You trusted him, more than you’d ever trusted anyone else.

How the fuck did everything go so wrong?

Jisung growled as he picked up his pace again, holding out for as long as possible because he wanted you to cum first. He wouldn’t be satisfied until you did, and he’d be damned if it happened in reverse order.

Did you have the capability to make him cum fast? Absolutely. Was he going to give into it this time?

Not a chance.

“You love this, don’t you?” Jisung follows up his question with a slight squeeze around your neck. The way you fluttered around him was all he needed as an answer.

“Sungie,” you called out for him, and the look in your eyes told him you wanted more. But not something rougher, just something more.

He released his hold on your neck and instead intertwined those fingers with your own above your head as he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was messy, slow, and a complete contrast to the way he was fucking you.

Jisung thrusted into you like there was no time to spare, almost as if he was on a mission to make you cum in the shortest amount of time possible. But the way he kissed you, it was as if he had all the time in the world to share this moment with you.

And that was why he knew this couldn’t continue.

This would be the last time. He swore to himself.

He felt you clenching around him and he knew you were close. He cupped your face so he could deepen the kiss, and that was apparently all you needed.

Such a small, intimate action but it had you spamming hard as you came, and your undoing triggered his own.

It left him very little time to contemplate what that could all mean as he spilled into the condom, the wave of euphoria rushing over him almost prompting him to say those three words he reserved for you and only you.

Even now, when there was so much space between you two that he never wanted there to be, those were words were only meant for you.

As you both calmed down from your highs, Jisung’s mind was in no better shape than it was when he first arrived. He couldn’t say he was surprised, though: that was how it always happened.

He felt you stretch next to him before you turned slightly, a hand landing on his chest as you looked up at him. He couldn’t decipher your gaze, and the small smile you graced him with took his breath away.

“I’m feeling a shower, you’re welcome to join if you want.”

He saw that one coming, too, as it was your routine most nights after your escapades together. Still, you asked every time if he wanted to join, and he never understood why - he’d have thought you wanted him gone more than he wanted to leave.

Jisung simply shook his head, declining your offer. He made no other move to get up, though, and you did the unthinkable.

You pressed a soft, chaste kiss against his cheek before you rolled over to get out of the bed. His eyes widened at your actions, but not enough for you to notice.

Jisung certainly wasn’t used to that, but then again he was typically out the door by now. He’d learned how to make record time in re-dressing and promptly leaving your place by the time the shower even started.

He watched you saunter over to the bathroom, grabbing a towel but no other clothing on your way. You left the door cracked - another old habit of yours he hadn’t realized you still practiced - and when the water started running he finally shifted on the bed.

He had just finished putting his pants back on when a shimmer of a glint from your nightstand caught his eye. There wasn’t a lot of light in the room, aside from your lamp you left on, and it was casting just enough light on this small object that piqued his intrigue.

For reasons he didn’t know, he walked over to get a better look at it, still gripping his shirt tightly in his hand. When he realized what it was, he dropped the shirt completely.

With shaky hands he leaned down to pick it up, turning it over and over again as he swallowed back the lump forming in his throat.

Jisung was holding the bracelet he’d given to you for your first anniversary - something he’d figure you’d long forgotten or did away with once you broke up.

The pain that had been twisting in his chest amplified as he sat back down on the bed, holding the bracelet tightly in his palm for fear of letting it drop and possibly break. The floodgates keeping back any and all thoughts about you under control opened up and he didn’t bother closing them.

What did this mean? Why had you kept up with it after all this time?

Why was it sitting out, on your nightstand, as if you still wore it frequently?

Before he could get too far gone, he heard the water from the bathroom stop, making the room seem so much quieter than he’d ever remembered it being. He clasped his hand around your bracelet as he waited.

You started to walk out a few moments later, towel wrapped around you as you fluffed out your hair. You clearly hadn’t expected him to still be there because you froze before taking another step.

“Sungie? You’re still here?”

He gulped at the nickname, nodding firmly. “Did- do you want me to leave?”

You shook your head before walking over to your dresser in order to find clothes, he presumed. He stared at you as the towel dropped around your ankles, and you silently got dressed before you joined him back on the bed.

“You know, you’ve always been welcome to stay.”

No, no he didn’t know that. He’d never gotten that impression from you, it didn’t fall in line with how you did things now that you weren’t a couple anymore.

But before now, he’d never stayed. So how was he to know?

You sat beside him and crossed a leg underneath you. Your choice of clothing was a large black t-shirt that barely reached your thighs, and if he’d focused on it hard enough, he might have even been able to pick out that it was an old one of his.

“Hey,” you spoke softly, pulling his eyes to your face instead of his enclosed fist that was hiding your bracelet. “What’s on your mind?”

Well, that was a loaded question if Jisung had ever heard one.

He let out a shaky sigh, deciding that it’d benefit the both of you for him to just come out and say it. No need to waste anymore of either of your time.

Jisung simply opened his hand and your eyes fell to look at it instantly.

You frowned.

“Why do you have that,” your voice was quieter now, and it bothered him.

He thought maybe you’d laugh it off and offer some sort of excuse, maybe tell him he was just imagining things and that he looked too deep into any meaning it might hold.

But he knew you better than that.

“I think a better question,” he countered, trying to sound firm and not let his voice waver, “is why do you still have it?”

You crossed your arms in response. “It was a gift. Why wouldn’t I still have it?”

If there was one thing Jisung had always admired about you, even before you two dated, it was your tenacity. You fought fire with fire, you stood your ground and weren’t afraid to defend your actions.

He could see a spark of that now, the gears turning in your head as your built up your wall, making it harder for him to tear it down.

But Jisung had his own habit of being stubborn, too, and it caused both of you to butt heads more often than he’d like to admit.

“I don’t know, maybe the fact that it was an anniversary gift and we broke up might be a good reason.”

Your frown deepened and he almost apologized. He hated seeing you upset, hated it even more when he caused it.

He’d do anything and everything to keep a frown from every appearing on your face.

Well…he used to. Right now he wanted answers, so the last thing on his mind was keeping the peace.

“I have a right to keep anything I want that’s given to me.”

Jisung nodded. “I’m not saying you don’t. I’m questioning why you would.”

You wrapped your arms even tighter around yourself as you looked down and away from him. He recognized the signs - you were getting defensive and shutting down.

“I knew I shouldn’t have left that out-”

“Yeah, that’s something else I couldn’t understand. Why keep it out if you aren’t even wearing it?”

All you could do then was raise your head and stare at him. You looked tired, defeated.

You looked like you knew something he didn’t, something that your face was screaming ‘isn’t it obvious?’ about.

Jisung simply returned your stare in his stubborn way. You both carried on the staring contest long enough until you finally broke with a sigh.

“Use your imagination, Ji.”

“Okay,” he responded, tone of voice shifting to something snarkier. “I imagine you kept this out to torture me then?”

Your eyebrows pulled downward as your expression turned to one of confusion.

“Torture you? I don’t understand-”

Jisung barked out a laugh, humorless. “Cut the shit. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Clearly I don’t!” You started raising your voice, something you only did when you were really emotional about something. Typically, it was when you were excited. Seldomly, it was when you were extremely upset.

It was just Jisung’s lucky day, wasn’t it?

“Allow me to enlighten you then,” he retorted, his own voice getting louder as he went. “Everything you do – every little fucking thing – that even comes close to showing you still care about me, that shit eats me up inside.”

You opened your mouth to interrupt but he kept going before you could continue.

“Do you know why? Because I never stopped fucking caring about you,” he fisted the fabric of his pants as he kept going, not daring to look in your eyes as it all started coming out.

“Not even for a single second. Even when you made it painfully obvious that I should, since you’ve already moved on.”

The room felt too quiet after that. Jisung waited for you to say something, anything, but the words never came.

Instead, what he heard was a small sniffle, and that changed the course of the entire conversation.

When Jisung looked at you again, he was surprised to see you crying quietly, tears just starting to roll down your cheeks.

He just made you cry. His heart dropped into his stomach.

“Hey, wait-”

“You think,” you stuttered out, taking a second to sigh shakily and compose yourself, “you think I don’t still care about you? “

Jisung was at a loss for words. “You do?”

“Of course I fucking care about you!” You shook your head to try and blink the tears away. “Breaking up didn’t change how I- it didn’t change that.”

Jisung’s head was swimming. He couldn’t grasp what was happening, or why it was happening.

“You’ve done a pretty shitty job of showing it,” he finally managed to say. “Only calling me up when you want me to come over and fuck you – the greatest way to show you care about someone, truly.”

“I didn’t know what else to do,” you countered.

“Really? Maybe a simple ‘hey, do you wanna hang out?’ or hm, I don’t know, making plans like normal people do? Like friends do?”

“Sungie-”

“But no, for whatever reason, you felt the need to just do this,” he vaguely waved around the room, trying to get his point across. “Just make me feel disposable and totally not worth your time.”

That wasn’t completely how he felt about the situation, but Jisung was hurting, so he chose to say hurtful things. If he was going to hurt, well, he wanted you to hurt, too.

One of his more toxic traits, honestly.

“How was I supposed to call you up for literally anything else? You’re always out with your friends and they hate me. Seeing me at any other time wouldn’t go well for anyone involved.” Your voice got quieter as your rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand. “This was the only way.”

Jisung froze. “How did you know they don’t like you?”

As far as he was aware, all of his friends had kept their disdain for you relatively well hidden. And to be honest, he couldn’t think of a time when any of his friends disliked you before the breakup…

You fidgeted where you sat. “It just makes sense that they would.”

He didn’t buy it. “No, there’s something you’re not telling me. What is it?”

“Just forget about it.”

“I won’t.”

You groaned in frustration and looked up at the ceiling. “Fuck, Ji, give it a rest, okay? I didn’t call you over here for your to interrogate me on my feelings for you.”

Jisung watched the way you stiffened, and he knew that you knew. You knew you’d just let more slip.

You got off the bed and started pacing around your room, another habit of yours. When you didn’t like where a conversation was headed, you tried to hide, either in the next room or just leave completely. You’d cool down and come back more level-headed.

This time you just seemed like you were in a panic, and all of this truly confused the fuck out of him.

“Feelings?”

“Drop it.”

“Explain ‘feelings,’ what do you mean?”

“I said drop it. I’m done talking about this with you.” You settled for standing in front of your window that overlooked the city when the curtains weren’t drawn as they were now. Your back was to him, and he swore he saw your shoulders shake for the briefest of moments.

Jisung got off the bed and carefully walked over to you, afraid that you might bolt any second. He gingerly reached out a hand and touched your shoulder; your reaction was immediate.

You let out a sob and his heart broke even more. He gently turned you to face him and felt his chest tighten at what he saw.

Tears were streaming freely down your face now, and you were biting your lip as you refused to look him in the eyes.

Jisung quietly called your name, and he breathed a sigh of relief when your eyes met his.

He took a deep breath, preparing to ask something he never thought he’d get to.

“Do you still love me?”

You backed away a step, eyes widening as you struggled to respond.

“Don’t ask me that.”

Jisung frowned, more pain filtering through his chest.

“Why not?”

You shut your eyes and looked away, responding quiet enough that he almost didn’t hear it:

“Because I don’t want to lie to you.”

Jisung turned away and ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends as he huffed. “I’m so fucking confused.”

“I’m sorry-”

“No, no you’re not. If you were, you’d tell me the truth, instead of leading me around in circles like I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Truth hurts.”

Jisung turned to face you again.

“I’m already hurt. What’s a little more gonna do, hm?”

He observed you twisting your hands in front of you as you thought of a comeback. When it was clear you couldn’t come up with one, he took the lead once more.

“Why did you break up with me?”

“I-I already told you that.”

He shook his head. “No, you told me we needed to break up. That it would be good for us. And you wouldn’t change your mind no matter how much I begged you to talk it through with me.”

That was another thing Jisung had never been able to figure out – why you broke up with him and why it was so sudden.

And that’s probably why he was still so stuck on you now, because he never got any kind of closure.

“I get that people can become unhappy in a relationship. I know it’s unavoidable in some cases. And trust me, I’ve gone over it countless times in my head, make sense of it all.”

It was evident you had nothing more to say on the matter at this time, so he kept talking. Might as well get it all out while he can, right?

“But you never gave me any indication that you weren’t happy anymore. Not once did I get the feeling that something was off until the day you ended things without so much as a clear reason why.”

“I didn’t want it to hurt more than it already would.”

Jisung laughed as he dragged a palm down his face, the sound incredulous. “God, I know you’re smarter than that.”

Your eyes were indecipherable from where he stood now, and on instinct he stepped closer.

“You’re one of the most emotionally intelligent people I know. There’s no way you could’ve thought that would end well. Or that it would hurt less.”

“So, please, tell me the truth,” he continued. “Why did you break up with me?”

He watched as you opened your mouth and closed it a few times.

“I’m not asking you to take me back, I just want to know why. I need it to make sense, or else I’ll go crazy wondering where everything went wrong. I feel like I at least deserve that much. And clearly you feel…some kinda way for me. So why would you-”

“I just had to! Okay?”

Your sudden outburst took him off guard but he held his ground.

“I need a better answer than that. If you never say anything else to me, at least tell me why.”

Fuck, fine, alright, alright!” You threw your hands up in surrender. “Maybe I got tired of being told how I wasn’t any good for you. Maybe I was done hearing about how you could do so much better, about how I was holding you back, about-”

“Wait, stop.” Jisung couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He walked a few more steps until he was standing in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders. “Look at me.”

You did as he asked, and for a mere second, he saw you let your walls back down.

This was the most vulnerable he’d seen you in such a long time, and he wasn’t about to let this chance go to waste.

“Who told you those things?”

The softness in your eyes was replaced with something Jisung could only describe as fear.

“You…don’t know? They didn’t tell you?”

He could see the wall rebuilding itself right before his very eyes, and he rushed to stop it.

“No, no one told me anything like that, who are you talking about?”

“I- you- I can’t,” you kept stammering, looking anywhere but his face. You ducked underneath his arms to maneuver around him, grabbing his shirt from the floor and tossing it to him as you did so.

“You need to leave.”

Jisung felt the last pieces of his heart shattering. “No, no no no, please tell me. Let me help make this right-”

“Jisung!” you startled him. You hugged yourself again, looking so small, so hurt, and it took everything in him not to wrap his own arms around you. “Stop. Just…please stop.”

“If I can just-”

“Stop! Leave, please just leave,” you begged him, trying to push him toward the door. He didn’t budge.

“Talk to me-”

“Can’t you see I don’t want to? I don’t want you here,” you breathed out every word like it was hurting you to do so, but you said them with purpose. “I’m done talking.”

Jisung didn’t move, knuckles taut as he gripped his shirt like it was the last thing holding his sanity together.

When it was clear he wasn’t going to move, you decided to do so yourself. You walked over to the bed where the bracelet lay discarded. Jisung watched as you picked it up and looked at the light twinkling off of it, before you tossed it his way.

He was too far away to catch it but he tried, instead just barely missing as the metal landed at his feet.

He picked it up and raised his head to see you one last time as the door to your bathroom was slamming shut. The click of the lock sounded deafening in the now empty room. Jisung felt numb.

He waited for a few minutes, rooted to where he stood. He didn’t hear any sounds from the bathroom, and he knew there wasn’t a chance of you coming back out to talk to him, at least not tonight.

He loved how stubborn you could be at times, but this time in particular it was killing him.

He walked slowly over to the nightstand, every step felt like his legs were weighed down with lead. His palm closed around the bracelet briefly before he laid it back down.

As he was leaving your apartment, your words kept playing over and over in his mind. Someone somehow had made you feel like his life was better off without you in it, and it was someone you didn’t want him to know told you those things.

That could leave a few different possibilities, none of them good. The idea that one of Jisung’s closest friends may have been feeding you that kind of information behind his back-

That thought hurt nearly as worse as everything else was right now.

When he got back to his apartment, he opened the door and walked in quietly as he usually did when he had company over on nights like these. Felix was still sleeping peacefully on the couch, and Jisung’s heart twisted at the sight.

Was it Felix? Surely it couldn’t have been…

There was also the possibility that you could’ve been lying, but with the way you reacted earlier, Jisung knew there was just no way.

He was basically back to square one, not knowing what caused this giant mess and practically just as confused and fucked up over it as he was before, maybe even worse. Jisung sat back down on the couch and buried his head in his hands.

It seemed that, for right now at least, when it came to you, Jisung would always lose.

pls don’t hate me, thank u <3 also if you read this, thank you so much, i hope you enjoyed it!!

✨m.list (18+)✨

#han jisung #han jisung angst #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #jisung angst #jisung smut #jisung x reader #stray kids #skz

78 notes · View notes

monsta-x-is-our-fantasia · 3 years

Text

Carnival date with Monsta x

Shownu

- prepare to eat a lot of snacks, as he wants to visit every shop

- chill about everything, does not get competitive in games

- his heart bursts seeing you enjoying yourself and having so much fun

- knocked out on the sofa as soon as he’s home with you

Wonho

- would protect you from rude people in the crowd by always looking out for you

- wants to win you a huge plushee and tries again and again

- needs quite a few tries but will give his everything because it’s for you

-“wonho sweetie, it’s not that serious” but you’ll love it anyway

Minhyuk

- tries to beat you in games and whines when he loses

- behaves like a child as he gets excited about everything

- is beaming at you the whole time

- tries all the arcade games until he runs out of coins

Kihyun

- has a little meltdown on the ferris wheels, but tries to play it cool afterwards

- probably wears sunglasses after to hide the little tears

- because it’s night (aka no need for sunglasses) you see right through it - play monsta x play it cool

- wants to kiss you in a tiny photo booth, but he’s got other problems at this time as you have to sit on his lap

Hyungwon

- tried to get you a plushee from a claw machine, but failed

- feels like shit afterwards, so you need to cheer him up

- wants to hold hands on the merry go round while his long legs flop around

Jooheon

- is enjoying the bumper cars with you, without the competitiveness (arm swung around your shoulder)

- a romantic date for sure

- eye smiles and dimples for dayssss

- visited the carnival beforehand to make sure, that you’re having the best night possible

Changkyun

- wants to look sophisticated, but is actually scared in the haunted house

- holds your hand for the whole time and gets jittery about it (they might get a bit sweaty, especially in the haunted house)

- in a moment where he lost the plot because you have been waiting in line for what felt like hours, he would spill the tea that’s he’s in love with you

- other people might applaud which will make him blush and hide his face in your neck

#monsta x #changkyun #hyungwon #jooheon #kihyun #minhyuk #shownu #wonho #monsta x reaction #monsta x scenario #Monsta x scenarios #Monsta x fluff #Monsta x smut #Monsta x thread #Monsta x Threads #monsta x reactions

221 notes · View notes

reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 2 years

Note

I wish the term slut was more liberally applied to people who aren't women. Like, can we have more sluts, please? Let the sluts reign.

Right? Especially men with a tiny waist. I'm all here for it.

But anon, I want to make this interesting so if you come back, we can play a game, but I start and it's about who is more deserving of that title in K-Pop. I offer two names and you have to choose, but you need to provide arguments for the winner and the loser. So, what I'm offering are these 2 candidates:

1. Would it be K-Pop's resident himbo, notorious thirst trapper, Wonho?

2. Or would it be Flipper Jungkook who is still a baby himbo, but he has a lot of potential?

Also, if anyone else wants to play, please use the comment section and have some fun 😛

#bmt asks #bmt game #bmt who is the sluttiest in kpop #flipper jungkook or wonho

5 notes · View notes

pinkykitten · 4 years

Text

a/n: ive had this request stored up in my drafts for a while now and omg this is too cute I CANNOT!!!༎ຶ‿༎ຶ my sis actually loves bakugou in that she is obsessed w him and thats her boo. he is so much fun to write tbh, ty guys for ur reading my stuff i hope yall enjoy.

You were the silent type. Not wanting any confrontation. You just wanted to live life, just go on ahead and not worry about anyone. In school it was every man for himself. It was you, yourself and your quirk.

The school bell rang as you looked through your lockers.

“Where is that dang pen?” You rummaged through the tiny space. Lifting your Monsta X binders and Seventeen notebooks. Resisting the urge to give a tiny peck to your Wonho poster. “Found it!” As you grabbed onto your pen you hit your head. You patted the pain as you heard snickering in the background.

Behind you were the school nerds laughing at your predicament. They carried their Pokemon cards along every where and that’s all they talked about. They may have been geeks but they were jerks to everyone. Not only were most of them so smart but they had quirks that could put Todoroki to shame.

One kid that had a shark fin stuck his tongue out, chuckling at you. “Look its Y/N! The weird girl obsessed with K-pop.”

You slammed your locker door. They irked you to the point where you had to take a breather in order not to knock them upside the head with your quirk. “K-pop is music. Music is for everyone. At least these guys are real, lets take a look at your Pokemon now, should we?”

“Take that back!” They said in unison. They got closer to you and you clutched your books tighter.

Bakugou was walking by, hands in his pockets, minding his business, when he took a second look at these guys cornering you.

“Can you please just leave me alone?” You tried walking around them.

One of the boys caressed your shoulder, “why? Let’s have fun? You seem like you’ve never been with someone at all. This close.” The boy put his face near yours as he stuck his tongue out and sniffed you.

Tight lipped, you felt frozen.

“I want to see what this body can do.” His hand creeped up under your skirt.

You smacked his hand and the others cackled away.

“What size cup is she?”

“Can she throw it back?”

“Lets go in the back of my car baby!”

“C’mon sweetie, we know you liked to have fun!”

You tried running away but they wouldn’t let you. You felt trapped and covered your ears. Through your lashes you looked up to see Bakugou standing there. Hands in fists, teeth clenched, eyes sharpened to a glare, and his nose flaring. What was he doing?

“You better leave Y/N alone you losers?” His voice was rough and you can tell he was definitely angry.

“Or what?” They shrugged.

“Or I’m going beat you all up so hard that it’ll hurt to breathe.”

They all smirked as they displayed their quirks.

“Fine, you want to be destroyed.” Bakugou lifted his sleeves and threw his fist back as it punched the guys in the face.

It was like he was your hero. A true pro hero.

Explosions happened and Bakugou threw one of the kids against the lockers. He kneed their face and stomachs. “You think you’re better than everyone. You think you own this school. I told you to leave Y/N alone!”

All the boys took their things and bowed to you, apologizing like a cat between their legs.

“Thank you!” You bowed to Bakugou, giving him money. “That was so cool! Especially when you-”

“I didn’t do it for you, idiot.” He side eyed your look. He was lying because his cheeks turned pink as a blush.

You gasped as you saw a split lip and many bruises on his face and arms. His eyebrow was bleeding. “You’re hurt.” You reached his face to touch the wounds.

Bakugou swatted your arms. “I’m fine okay!” He sprinted away as he went up the stairs to the roof.

You followed him and he was leaning against the school building trying to wipe away the blood.

“I can help you, you know.” You said in low voice.

He didn’t say anything and you took that as a yes. Sitting next to him you brought his face towards yours. He pulled away and you pinched his arm.

“Oww! What the heck Y/N!”

“Look. At. Me.” Bakugou followed your command. His face was a few inches away from yours. You brought from your back pack a first aid and band-aids. “Thank you for helping me out there. Seriously. I think those guys are not going to bother me anymore.” You patted his brow and lip to clean it. “It means a lot to me.”

“It was nothing. I hate people that think they’re so cool when they are nothing. I also hate when guys disrespect women like that. Its wrong.” He winced.

“Sorry. They’ve been doing that for a while so its gonna be nice to not deal with those guys.” You blew on the wounds and Bakugou’s blush deepened. You brought out your NCT-127 band-aids out and placed them on his cuts, softly. “There you go. That should heal and help you out.” You stood up and wiped your skirt. “Thank you so much again. If you ever need a favor let me know. I put my phone number on one of the band-aids. Anyways, bye Bakugou!”

Bakugou sat there wishing you had stayed and had talked more because the rest of the day you’re going to be on his mind.

a/n: i actually know nothing about pokemon so if i got something wrong im sorry thats like the first thing i came up w. ALSO i love monsta x seventeen and nct 127 so much like those r my boys and they are just （￣ε￣ʃƪ）

Tag list: @carat-bebe, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @fandomchick80,

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

222 notes · View notes

foenixs · 4 years

Text

Mtl have a big dick in Monsta X

note: the big dick energy in this group is immaculate

~~~~~~~~~~

most

Shownu

Wonho

Minhyuk

Changkyun

Hyungwon

Jooheon

Kihyun

least

~~~~~~~~~~

Shownu - his body naturally appears big and well sculpted and the same goes for his dick. he doesn't make a big deal out of it and finds it weird when you comment on his length because to him it's just a normal cock

Wonho - big bunny has a thicc cock, very veiny. he doesn't like that your hand isn't big enough to fully engulf his length in warmth but it's okay, just nibble on his ears and shoulders and he'll melt right into you (his body is worth flexing about and he sends you teasing pictures of his most precious parts)

Minhyuk - him and Changs almost rank on the same spot, but Min's cock is a little thicker

Changkyun - very proud of his package (i mean he walks around naked in the dorm without shame), especially when you use him for it. but depending on who joins a threesome (someone higher up on the list), he might turn a little insecure about his length

Hyungwon - it's big and what about about it? he shrugs it off like it's nothing but he secretly lives for your admiration

Jooheon - relatively short next to the others but has the most girth (gets sulky if you don't pay his cock enough attention and praise him for how delicious he looks)

Kihyun - he's above average in length but he's the smallest out of the group. gets very defensive and bratty when you call it tiny (but he hates to admit that his size kink betrays his pride)

~~~~~~~~~~

if you like my fics please reblog them with a nice comment or tag

tagging: @euphoricsunflowers @vanillaknj @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @submissive-bangtan @mingiibabieee @soya-zz @coeurbreak @mellowriting

#monsta x #mosnta x smut #monsta x mtl #mx smut #mx mtl #sub!mosnta x #sub!monsta x smut #sub!mx #sub!mx smut #sub!mx mtl #mtl #most to least #sub!idol

94 notes · View notes

pillowfluffs · 4 years

Text

Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away | Lee Wonho

Pairing: Wonho X Reader (gender neutral)

Genre: sadness ;-; mafia???

Author’s Note: It’s time I get back into writing, right? ah ha ha im sorry wonho stans also i really miss ot7 🥺🥺 I wish him and MX the best of luck for the future. I also suggest listening to his debut single: Losing You while reading

WARNINGS! Vivid imagery of wounds and injuries! Blood!! death!

Smoke trailed up into the cold night sky, snowflakes silently falling onto the slippery, icy road. He mustered all the energy he had into his arms, ignoring the pain in his abdomen and legs. Glass shards protruded from his chest, gashes around his waist and one from his head. The area was silent, the atmosphere still making it feel like time was slowing down. Frost and snow covered the land and trees that lined the road, one that wasn’t particularly used by many, potholes and cracks now concealed and filled by the ice and snow. Snow did what it always did and fell silently, covering the world with its wintry beauty.

Not even the moon shined, only a vague light of the moon did through the clouds but the only source of light around him now was one of the headlights of the car as it laid sideways, the other broken. Little things and pieces of the totaled car fell to the ground, the glass from the windows and windshields crunching beneath his body. He laid himself on his back, his mind numb to all the pain searing through his body.

He felt nothing.

It hurt to breathe, the coldness was sinking deeper and deeper as he laid in the sludge of melted snow on the side of the road. Without even looking, he could only imagine how red he was dyeing the snow all around him. No trees swayed, no winds passed by. There was nothing around, no one around. He was completely alone and no one would be coming. They made sure of it and made sure the job was done.

Getting into his car, the first thing Wonho did after starting it was to turn on the heaters and the seat warmer in his driver’s seat. His windows were fogged from the cold, frost creeping around the edges. He sat in the cold leather seat in the dark, blowing into his cupped hands around his mouth, occasionally rubbing them. Even through the sweatpants he wore, the cold went right through to his skin. He could see light traces of his breath in the cold car as it warmed up.

Driving away from headquarters on the beaten road, remnants of snow from others who had shoveled the roads all day crunches beneath the tires as he drove, the steering wheel cold as ice under his dry hands. The streets were barren, silent and still as he drove through, the area looking like it was a picture. He passed by buildings that were abandoned long ago, windows and doors boarded up or smashed in. The walls of them were worn from weathering after years with no one to treat them, cracks all around the walls. As he drove away, the road got bumpier and bumpier as he drove over untouched snow on the road.

He drove cautiously over the dipper road entering an area filled with trees, a back road that was uncommonly used by others. Tall trees lined both sides of the narrow, straight road that stretched for miles. It made the trip home longer but it was safer than driving in the open through the city, especially for Wonho. He focused on driving, trying his best to stay on the road as snow fell onto his windshield, even listening to the radio that played soft songs, the sound almost covered by the blasting heater that made the car nice and warm, the hot air burning against his hands on the old lacquered wood steering wheel.

A hard collision from behind pushed his car into the side of the road, the wheels being pushed over the tree roots beneath the snow, making the car roll. He held onto the steering wheel the best he could but it happened so suddenly. Pain bloomed all over his body as he did his best to get out of his upside down, dragging his body over the broken glass all around. The shards crunched beneath his weight, his breathing weak and staggering. His frozen breaths puffed into the oblivion sky, the snow falling onto his face and body as it came down in silence. The cold all around him felt different. It was the type that reached into his bones but he couldn’t tell if it was really because his bones were exposed from his wounds or if it was just that cold. But it also felt like the cold was causing him more pain than his wounds. He laid on his back, his lungs struggling to breathe through the feeling of his lungs freezing, the snow and sludge around his hands numbing his fingertips, turning them stiff. He could feel the cold wetness seep through his clothes to his body, at the roots of his hair on his head as he laid, breathing.

He could feel his heart weakening as it beat in his chest, his body pulsating with every beat. He was losing blood and his blood flow was slowing down. Shakily, he reached for the zipper in his jacket pocket, struggling to find it from the coldness pricking him, but after what felt like an hour to him, he was able to unzip his pocket. Small tiny pieces of his glass cut and prodded at the skin on his hand, making him bleed even more as he weakly pulled out his phone. Te device was dented and the screen shattered. Turning his head and resting his arm holding his phone on the ground, his face was illuminated by the near broken device and the first thing he saw was a picture of you, making his lips twitch even when he couldn’t really feel anything anymore. His thumb hesitated as he faced the dial screen as large snowflakes pelted his face and body and everything all around. He couldn’t bring himself to call anyone from the clan after seeing the last four percent of battery he had. He was one of the last to leave and everyone else was long gone. There would be no one who could reach him in time before he bled out. After making up his mind, he pressed the one contact he was sure he wanted to call.

“Wonho?” Your voice was groggy being woken up from sleep. You laid still in bed in the dark, holding your phone to your face. “Are you home yet?” You asked stifling a yawn.

“I’ll be coming home a bit late,” he said weakly, sounding tired to you. “I was wondering…” He scrunched his eyes shut at the sharp pain that pierced him from the side as he moved just the slightest bit, biting back his yelps of pain. You couldn’t know. He didn’t want to worry you. “Could you do me a favor?” He asked, trying his best to sound as normal as he could, praying you couldn’t hear the car smoking in the back or the sound of wind blowing around him.

“What is it?” You asked, just a slightly but more awake.

“Could you sing for me that song? The one I like to hear you sing?”

“What for?” Curiosity piqued as you now opened your eyes to the wide dark room, his spot in bed empty beside you.

“I just wanted to hear you… so will you?”

“I could sing it when you come home but I don’t really know about right now… my voice isn’t exactly the best right now.” You sat up, stroking one o this pillows, the soft fabric like a cloud beneath your fingertips.

“Please,” he urged, sounding just the bit desperate. It was a song he often found your singing whenever he came home late. It wasn’t an original but that didn’t matter to him. He loved you and the sound of your voice as you spoke or laughed or yelled at him or cried, he loved everything about you. He loves your soul and saw it as a blessing in real life in the heinous world he was etched into.

“Fine,” you caved. You learned your throat and made an effort to sound the best you could.

“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms…” He turned up the volume as much as he could, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take him away from the numbness of his body, imagining him holding you in his arms in the dark kitchen one last time, his body swaying slowly with yours to music only the two of you could hear. He followed the words you sang, your voice honey and raw in his ears, savoring every bit of it. “But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried.” Cried. The sadness that was etched into your face when he came home to you beaten up and bruised, the panic you had in your teary eyes and the way your lips quivered as you managed him up, your tears dripping off your chin and the way your hands trembled.

It was a sight he never wanted to see, a pain he never meant to inflict on you.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray…” The way the last light of sun shined on your skin made you seem ethereal to him. The way you smiled, your nose scrunching just the slightest bit. Even as it hailed outside, hearing your laugh as it echoed around the spacious yet cozy living room, it was a laugh he could listen to on repeat and never get tired of. There wasn’t any problem you couldn’t help make easier for him by being beside him. “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you… Please don’t take-“ your voice was cut off as his phone died in his ear. Bringing the phone away, he discarded it to the side, as darkness blurred the corners of his visions.

With his final breath, he mustered up the energy, regardless of the pain he felt, ignoring everything to finish the line. “Please don’t take my sunshine away…” He closed his eyes, letting these be his final words, the image of you being the last thing he saw before his heart stopped beating, the pain no longer plaguing his body anymore.

~~~~~ Masterlist for more! Thank you for reading!

136 notes · View notes

mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6 · 4 years

Text

Surprise

Being friends with Monsta X is always fun, especially when they make you feel special...even two weeks before your birthday. Part 2. Behind the scenes.

Warning: Fluff, smut, dirty talk, fingering, hand job, sex, praise. (Does mention Wonho not being in the group, but he is still involved)

Word count: 5.4k

A/N: This has been on my list for far too long, always made excuses not to write. As I said in the titleboard, this is part 1 (emphasis on part), so keep that in mind (don’t want to spoil anything, her birthday is going to be, as the kids say, “lit”).

I do not own the photos in this titleboard. The photos are from Pinterest, the board is made from PhotoGrid.

Just two weeks before my birthday! Haven’t been a birthday bitch in a long time. I always hated having a late summer birthday: it’s too hot to party outside, all my friends in school were too busy at their vacations or spent their time school shopping. Probably needed better friends, but that’s why I couldn’t be happier to have my boys in my life! They are the busiest people I know, but they manage to find time for me. I met them at a club in Seoul, one of the first outings I had since I moved, and we instantly clicked! They treat me like a weird hybrid between a queen, sister, and wifey, but they just refer to me as princess or baby. I’m eternally grateful for their support, moving from the states to Korea was a push I never expected to take. Our friendship was rocky at first, due to the rules of us not being seen in public together, but we made a system to work around it. If anything, I just wear a disguise to appear as staff, most fans don’t question it. There was one slip that only a few fans noticed, and thankfully, the rumor didn’t stretch far.

It was one vlive that Changkyun, Jooheon, Minhyuk and Wonho were doing at the dorms and I was just chilling outside of the camera frame. Nothing was out of the ordinary, we’ve done that arrangement before, but Changkyun kept getting distracted and even threw something to get my attention. My yelp was caught in the audio, but thankfully not a lot of people believed it was a female voice.

Today is my turn to bring dinner. It’s our system to eat dinner together: order take-out to go and eat together at the dorms or my apartment. Tonight is cutlet night, fuck yes! I go back home seeing the boys be entirely comfortable in my living room. Spread out all over my couch and floor. Frankly, it’s a beautiful sight, seeing my friends at their second home. They just got back from their United States portion of their tour, so they're extra exhausted.

“Dinner!”, I shout, announcing my return. The boys launch themselves out of their sitting positions and dash to the kitchen. Minhyuk and Honey take the bags, kiss my head and migrate to the kitchen to dish up. Changkyun welcomes me with a soda. He puts his arm over my shoulder and leads me to the kitchen.

“Surprise!”, the boys cheer, presenting a plate of cookies. Fighting back tears, I laugh off my excitement.

“Guys, my birthday is in two weeks”, I choke up.

“You’re worth celebrating a couple of weeks early”, Wonho shrugs. It’s even more special that Wonho is here. I was there when Wonho left the group, I stayed at the dorms for a while because it was too hard to go home. Hiding my friendship with Monsta X from the world was hard, but keeping quiet about communicating with Wonho was worse. I wanted to tell monbebe that he's going to be ok. I wanted to show how beautiful his smile is when we're together. A part of me was glad I couldn't show anything, I had him all to myself. He was a frequent visitor at my apartment, a place of escape. Many nights of ramen, trash television, and tears.

“You better not think we’re finished yet, we still have more plans till your actual birthday”, Honey hands me a cookie. Snickerdoodle? They must’ve remembered it’s my favorite.

“Plans? Like what!”, I eagerly clap, munching on the cookie. I could tell the boys baked these cookies, I could feel the love in it. The boys exchange looks, wondering if they should reveal their plans.

“It’s a surprise”, Nunu nods.

“Come on, I can’t wait, it’ll kill me”, I dramatically pout.

“You can wait, princess”, Hyungwon takes a bite out of a cookie.

“Give me a hint”, I whine.

“We’ll have fun, don’t worry”, Changkyun chuckles, giving me his half smile smirk. Kihyun almost chokes on his drink. Wonho’s eyes widen. Minhyuk bursts out laughing. Hyungwon raises his eyebrows. Honey looks away, hiding his cheeky grin. Shownu manages to hide any expression.

“Did I miss something?”, I mumble.

“It’s a surprise, baby”, Changkyun whispers. I squint my eyes at him. The boys take the trays of food out of the bags to hand them off.

“You know I won’t tell you”, his voice deepens.

“I’ll make you tell me”, I mumble. Changkyun takes the cookie out of my hand.

“I’d love to see you try”, he winks before taking a giant bite. I scoff at him. He knows I like challenges. Do I feel a smile on my face? Are my cheeks warm? Nope, nope, Sarah, quit it. Hyungwon offers to hand me my plate of noodles. I reach to grab it and he plays his little game of “reach” where he lifts anything above his head so I couldn’t get it, emphasizing how tiny I am compared to him. I usually jump up a couple of times for his amusement, but this time I went for the attack. I wrap my arms around his waist and shake him like a pillow. Hyungwon cackles at my attack that may be more of a tickle to him. Wonho grabs the plate from Hyungwon and taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and see the glorious view of Wonho’s big smile, handing me a plate of deliciously steaming food.

"My hero", I flutter my eyelashes. Wonho kisses my forehead and hands me the plate.

"Eat, princess", he whispers. I scrunch my face at him, he mirrors. Honey hands me a can of soda from the fridge. I blow him a kiss as a thank you, he joking catches it. We all grab our plates, some drinks and sit in the living room to eat. Like a big family, we crack jokes, steal food off each other's plates, talk about our day. I wish I could have these every night, but I'm happy to have this a couple times a week. Changkyun and I have been sitting at the end of my coffee table, lefties always stick together. He uses his chopsticks to snatch some noodles out of mine. I gasp. Want to play this game? I’ll play this game. I grab his bowl of rice and stick my tongue out at him. Changkyun pouts his lips and rests his head on my shoulder. How could he be such a demon then a puppy within seconds? I put his bowl back in front of him. He hums pleasantly.

“Don’t steal my noodles”, I whisper. He kisses my shoulder and nuzzles.

“What’s up with you? You got a crush on me?”, I tease him. He adjusts his posture, sitting up straight, avoiding any eye contact with me. I must’ve hit a nerve.

“Kyun, I was kidding”, I assure. His cheeks are a bright shade of pink.

“Kyun? Baby?”, I pout, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“What makes you think I have a crush on you?”, his voice deepens.

“Aren’t you seeing that guy from the corner store?”, he adds with a little snarl.

“You’re seeing someone?”, Honey buts in. Shush, shush, shush, don’t bring attention.

“Sarah, you’re seeing someone?!”, Minhyuk gasps. Fuck, I wanted to forget about that guy.

“Things didn’t work out between us, that’s all”, I confess. Some express relief? Some express confusion.

“You were seeing someone and didn’t tell us?”, Kihyun acts hurt.

“It was nothing, really. Went on a couple of dates, but things came up”, I shrug.

“Like what?”, Shownu wonders, doing his cute little furrowed eyebrow thing. I shouldn’t tell them, they don’t have to know.

“You don’t need to know”, I nervously laugh. Changkyun's mood changes from sulky to intrigued, devilish even.

“What happened baby?”, he bites his lip. I grip the cuffs of my sweatshirt.

“Well”, I cough.

“It’s ok, let’s talk it out”, Changkyun lifts his chin.

“Fine, if you guys want to know”, I sigh. If he wants to play this game, I dominate this game.

“He can’t fuck worth a damn”, I raise an eyebrow before taking a sip of my soda. The boys are speechless, every jaw dropped.

“What was he doing wrong?”, Shownu coughs. My sweet teddy bear, you shouldn’t have asked.

“Shallow pumper who thinks he’s doing something then cums too soon, but complains I’m too wet”, I shamelessly confess. Kihynu chokes on air. Minhyuk and Jooheon express disappointment.

“So yes, I’m not seeing him anymore”, I assure. Shownu and Hyungwon chuckle under their breath. Changkyun couldn’t stop smiling.

“Good riddance”, Minhyuk exclaims.

“Princess deserves her prince”, Hyungwon wipes sauce off of his bottom lip, sneaking a little wink. This room is too warm for me, I need to change out of this sweatshirt. I excuse myself from the table. 67 in here? Why am I so warm! Too many bodies probably.

I dig through my drawers for a comfortable shirt. A pleasant knock rattles my room.

“It’s Kyun”, Changkyun announces.

“Come in”, I welcome. He opens the door to reveal him leaning against the door frame, being suave.

“I’m sorry to hear about that guy”, he initiates a conversation.

Are you?”, I tease. He’s acting too smug to be sympathetic.

“Don’t believe me?”, he chuckles, but acts offended. Not at all.

“Nope”, I shake my head. He shrugs.

“Good”, he devilishly grins before leaving my room. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I need to talk to his boy.

“Kyun”, I call for him. He peeks his head in, keeping the smirk on his lips. I gesture to him to come back. He sneaks back inside, trying to be discreet.

“You’re glad I’m not seeing that guy, huh?”, I question. He knows the teasing game I’m playing and is loving every bit of it.

“I am”, he confirms.

“How come?”, I continue.

“That way you can find someone better”, his voice deepens, examining me with his eyes. Oh, he thinks he could be someone? Let’s see.

“Someone better?”, I squint. Oh fuck it. I glide my fingers along his thighs. Changkyun’s eyes widened, not expecting me to touch him.

“Someone who would give me a good time?”, I continue. My fingers get to the crotch of his pants. He’s already getting hard.

“Yes”, he inhales sharply, trying to keep his cool.

“I wonder who would be the man”, I bite my lip before palming him through his jeans, getting him hard in my hand. He closes his eyes to keep his composure.

“I could ask the boys. I’m sure any of them would be happy to show me”, I whisper. A low growl leaves his lips, his dick fully erect. I slip my hand under his boxerbriefs, feeling his warm, hard dick in my grasp. My strokes are slow and tight. The rumors of big dick energy was fucking true.

“Like Honey, or Minhyuk”, I spitball. A soft moan escapes his lips. He’s putty in my hands. I might come off collected, but inside I’m ready to pass out.

“No”, he whimpers. I got him where I want him.

“Oh, not them?”, I pout my lips.

“Maybe Hyungwon. I think he’s been eye fucking me tonight”, I accidentally slip out. I definitely struck a nerve in Changkyun. Why am I teasing him? Why am I touching him! Have I been so deprived of a good fuck that I’ll resort to a good friend? I don’t see him complaining.

“Guys, the movie is almost ready!”, Kihyun shouts from the living room.

“Coming!”, I shout back. Taking my hand out of Changkyun’s pants, I grab some throw blankets from my bed.

“Just like what you’ll be doing under this blanket”, I whisper. I hate myself for making that joke.

“Please stay”, he whimpers, stopping me from leaving the room.

“If you stay quiet, it’ll be worth it. I’ll make it worth your while”, I propose.

“Like how?”, he eagerly pants.

“I’ll take you back here and ride you soon as possible”, I wink. He curls his tongue at the corner of his mouth. One hand grabs my ass, pulling me closer to him. His hand feels almost too good, kneading my plump cheek. I'm definitely not the first ass he's grabbed, man knows what to do.

“But first, something for you”, he snarls before slipping his hands underneath my leggings. His fingers play with my panties. His index finger drags along my clothed slit. Instead of an electric shock, my body pulses. How could I be already desperate for more? If the boys weren't out in the living room, I would have been bent over against the bed, loving every inch of Kyun.

“You’re already so wet for me”, Changkyun chuckles. My face burns red. I didn’t realize he’s a fucking switch. He pulls the crotch of my panties aside and massages two fingers along my folds. Fuck him for turning the tables! I grip onto the blankets, I want to say something, but all I could let out is a mousy moan.

“You’re so horny, it’s cute”, he teases before pumping the digits into me. I hide my face into the blankets.

“No, no, I want to see you”, his voice raises an octave. I lift my head back from the blankets and cheeky, cocky Changkyun is loving this moment of my vulnerability. With pumps and curling of his fingers, I’m losing myself to his hand. What happened to him? I'm loving this almost too much.

“You think you can tease me without getting something in return? Not with me, baby”, he tilts his head. Him putting me in my place making me weaker. I grab his face and pull him into a kiss. I moan into his lips. His tongue invites itself into my mouth. So delicious, I could do this forever. If his tongue and lips are this good, I wonder what his dick is like.

Changkyun gasps before pulling out.

“I’ll fuck your hand under that blanket then we’re going to go in here and I’ll fuck you till you can’t walk”, he whispers before kissing my cheek. He licks the digits in front of me, loving my taste.

“I’ll be quiet”, he winks before leaving my room. We’ll see. What the fuck did I do! I touched my good friend’s dick, kissed him, and promised to fuck him! Have I wanted to do this before? I guess. He’s an attractive man, how could I not notice him? How long have I felt like this? Do I even like him like that or do I just want to fuck? I’m overwhelming myself. I go back to the living room, the boys have cleared the coffee table, bless them. The boys are in the kitchen chatting in Korean while I lay out some blankets and pillows. Although I moved to Korea, I’m still not an expert on the language, I’m far better at reading. What if he’s talking about what happened in the bedroom? I don’t think he would. He wouldn’t dare. Kihyun sweetly hands me a glass of water.

“Are you ok?”, Kihyun tilts his head.

“What do you mean?”, I nervously laugh. I take a big gulp of the water. Kihyun’s warm palms press my cheek.

“You’re warm. Are you feeling alright?”, his voice goes from curious to concern. I must be touch starved. His caress feels...gentle. I could see myself escape in just his palm’s embrace. I must be in a rush. I shouldn’t be feeling this way for a friend.

“Do you need help?”, Kihyun whispers. I need to stop!

“Am I a bad person, Kiki?”, I mumble. He scoffs. His thumb rubs my cheekbone.

“I shouldn’t have to answer that”, Kihyun smiles.

“Sarah, is there something going on? You can talk to me”, he grows worried. Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“It’s fine, Kihyun”, I assure. Am I trying to convince myself this is ok?

“I trust you. If something comes up, please tell me”, he sighs. I scrunch my nose. Kihyun kisses the tip of my nose.

“I’m coming over tomorrow to cook something with you”, Kihyun plans. That was always one of our favorite activities together, showing each other something new.

The boys rush in with candy and various snacks with drinks. Even though we just ate, you always get snacks for movies. They load up the movie, a poorly rated scary movie, one of my favorites. Damn, these boys have really paid attention to me over the months I’ve been here. Wait, I’ve been here for almost a year! A year just after my birthday. We got close over the year. I feel so dirty, having these feelings for them. Are these actually feelings?

We all get comfy on the couch and floor. Changkyun and I sit on the couch with a blanket draped over us. Changkyun can’t stop smiling at me. He puts his arm over my shoulders, leaning in close to me. I keep my hands together.

“I really want to kiss you”, he whispers, before kissing my cheek. My skin is crawling from nerves. Changkyun notices.

“You don’t have to do it. We could do that later or we could just forget about it”, he worries.

“Kyun, I’m fine, just nervous”, I breathe shakily. Am I realizing what I’m doing is wrong? Is this wrong? These are just butterflies.

“I won’t force you to do anything”, he continues. Holy shit, do I actually like Kyun? I’m getting all blushy just thinking about it. I unravel my hands and test the waters by gesturing the motion under the blanket. This can’t do.

“Sit the way you do”, I whisper. Changkyun does his little embarrassed smile and fixes his sitting position. He crosses his ankles and keeps his knees up. I practice the motion again, undetectable.

“I really, really want to kiss you”, he mumbles in my ear. His lips graze the curve of my ear. His voice is raspier than before. Fuck. I shift in my seat, getting comfortable from my wet panties. The room goes quiet when the movie plays the opening credits.

“If you don’t stop that, you won’t get anything”, I exhale. I slip my hand under Changkyun’s boxerbriefs and stroke his length.

“I know you want to kiss me too”, he smirks. There’s already some precum oozing from his dick.

“I want to see what that mouth of yours can do”, he whimpers. I squeeze firmly on his shaft.

“You think I could put my mouth to work?”, I sneak a kiss on his ear.

“Fuck”, he exhales, a little too loud. I tug on his pants and free his dick, bouncing against his pelvis. I let out a very mousy, internal scream. His dick is better than I could hope for. Feel could only tell so much. I spit in my hand and rub his dick in a rhythmic pattern.

“I see you drooling”, he teases, pretending to wipe slobber off my lip. He rubs his thumb on my chin. His sharp eyes pierce my heart. Have I never looked at his face long enough to fall in a trance? The shape of his nose, the little curls on either side of his smile, the depth in the darkness of his pupils, the way his hair falls just before his eyes. All of it, every detail. I feel like I’m admiring a painting. A painting that I can touch and that can touch me. How is this the most beautiful painting I’ve encountered even when I went to art school?

“Don’t do it”, I mouth. He might think I’m telling him not to kiss me, but I’m really telling myself not to kiss him first. My pace quickens, matching my heartbeat. Changkyun inhales hazily. He’s getting close. What I would give to hear him scream my name.

“Watch the movie”, I mouth. We sit “peacefully” watching the movie. Changkyun bucks his hips, trying to thrust into my hand. He knocks his head back, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath in. I just want to hop on top of him. A delicate whimper is trapped in his throat. Strings of warm, slick cum land on my wrist and hand.

“You did so good, baby”, he praises, his head still knocked back. I nudge his chest to get his attention. He opens one eye. I give direct eye contact as I lick my hand clean. His cum tastes yummy. His lip curls with a smile. I stuff Changkyun’s dick back into his pants.

“My room. Now”, I growl. I peel myself off of the couch and sneak to my room.

I’m shaking. My legs are weak, my heart is in my throat, I can’t unclench my hands. I can’t do this, I can’t. I plop on my bed, curled up in a ball, facing my window.

Changkyun opens my bedroom door.

“Sarah”, he whispers. I groan.

“Is there something wrong?”, he worries. I sit up and wrap myself in my large, fluffy comforter.

“Do you actually want me?”, I hide. He sits on my bed, wrapping his arms around my cocoon.

“Of course I do”, he scoffs. He kisses my head. I unwrap myself and straddle his lap. I squish his face to make a funny puckered face.

“Is it just sex?”, I mumble. He grabs my hand and kisses my palm. With no words, we knew. Changkyun strips me out of both my sweatshirt and t-shirt. He doesn’t break eye contact with me, even though my tits are inches away. I strip him out of his shirt, trying so hard not to go crazy. He scoots to slip his pants down enough to free his dick. My hands rub his shoulders and chest. Weird, his heartbeat isn’t that intense. He pulls my leggings down with my panties, exposing my ass. A playful smack claps my cheek, making me smile. Holding me by my waist, he lays me on my back to take off the rest of my clothes. I caress his cheek, poking his dimple that is making a pleasant appearance. I go back to sitting on his lap. The head of his dick lined up to my entrance.

“Wait”, Changkyun halts. I give him my full attention.

“I wanted this for a long time, not just the sex. I wanted to kiss you and touch you, but it’s more than that. I wanted to feel intimacy with you, make you feel as special as you are. I love being open and free with you, my best friend. I wish I could stay in this room with you forever”, Changkyun rambles. I feel like I want to vomit. Am I going to cry? Am I going to run? Is this a confession without using the three big words? I press my forehead against his, taking a deep breath.

“Changkyun, you are an angel and a demon, you know that? I wanted this too, probably more than I would want to believe. I could stay in this room forever, only if you’d take me”, I admit. My lips peck his lips, his cheek, his neck. I pull his hair a little to knock his head back. A hiss rattles my ear. I leave marks of sucks and nibbles behind his ear, corner of his jawline, under his chin, curve of his neck, Adam's apple, and collarbone. In that order. Soft, deep moans from Changkyun get louder and louder the longer I mark. I sink myself onto him. I cry out from the stretch.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight”, he exhales in ecstacy. I bottom out and I sit for a moment, engulfing every inch of him. Fuck. I lift myself to his tip, then sink back down. I hold onto his shoulders, for balance. I roll my hips, his dick hitting the right spot.

“Would you believe me if I tell you I never rode dick?”, I nervously laugh.

“No way”, Changkyun gulps.

“You know I can’t lie”, I gasp when he hits the spot. He holds my waist to guide me of rocking and bouncing. His dick feels so good I want to cry.

Changkyun lifts me off and throws me to the center of the bed. Throwing my legs over his shoulders, he slams into me. I grab onto his back to pull him closer to me. My nails dig deeper into his back with every thrust. He looks down to see his dick bury inside me. I can’t help myself from looking too. The sight is making my stomach flex.

“Shit, baby. I could do this all day”, he moans. Fuck, if I could have this as a ringtone, I would. The sound of his throbbing dick colliding into my drenched pussy, the slapping of our thighs, his deep sensual moans as well as vulgar. All of it.

“You like looking at us?”, my voice shakes.

“I love it”, he assures, kissing my forehead. His pace quickens. My limbs are visibly shaking. My vision is blurring. My toes can't be more curled.

“Kyun, I-I”, I stutter. My pussy is pulsing, clenching as I speak.

“Talk it out, baby”, he encourages. The knot in my stomach is almost unbearably tight.

“I’m going to cum”, I whimper. He uses all of his strength hammering into me, his face buried into my neck, biting hard. I shed a single tear while I cum. Cumming like this almost felt new to me. What if I never actually had an orgasm and this is the first time! Changkyun lets out a cocky laugh. He still thrusts into me, just painfully slow so I can collect myself.

“You’re so cute when you cum”, he praises, kissing my lips.

“Not as cute as you”, I caress his cheek. He presses his forehead against mine.

“Na-uh. You do a cute little thing with your nose”, he chuckles. He brushes the hair out of my face, wipes sweat off my eyebrow. I could see Changkyun mouth something, but I couldn’t interpret what. He kisses the tip of my nose. He pulls out and lays next to me, holding my hand.

“I forgot the guys are in the living room”, he whispers. Oh shit. The boys, how would I face them? I’m a fucking mess!

“I’m scared, what do I do?”, I panic. He sits up and massages my thighs. Taking a deep breath, he ponders.

“Jump in the shower and relax for a minute. I’ll tell the guys you weren’t feeling good”, he organizes.

“What are you going to say if they ask why?”, I wonder, scooting off of my bed.

“I’ll tell them you got a headache from work today, which happened before”, he shrugs. Foolproof? Maybe, these boys are adorable idiots, but they’re not dumb.

“Too bad you couldn’t join me in the shower”, I pout.

“Next time, babygirl”, he winks, kissing my palms. I stand from my bed and I almost fall on my face. Changkyun couldn’t stop laughing from seeing me struggle to walk.

“I did say I was going to fuck you till you can’t walk”, he pokes fun, escorting me to the bathroom attached to my bedroom. He sits me down on the toilet while he starts the shower. I see the marks I left on him. Fuck, I went hard.

"Baby, I went a little crazy on the marks. I have some powder in my makeup bag", I point to the bag on the corner of the counter. He examines the damage in the mirror, getting a little hot and bothered.

"You sure went crazy", he comments, eyeballing me in the mirror.

"Changkyun", I sigh. He kneels in front of me, holding my hands.

"What's going to happen after this?", I whisper.

"Till I know more about the possibility of dating from Starship, I would like for us to be friends with benefits", he reveals, unfiltered. Dating? He's willing to date me!

"If being friends with benefits is alright with you", he asks for confirmation. Honestly, I'm glad it's just something. I couldn't find the words so I just bashfully nod. He kisses my cheek and helps me into the shower.

"I'll lay out some clothes for you and set it on your bed", Changkyun gestures to my bedroom. I blow him a kiss. He leaves my bathroom with a little swagger in his step.

Not only did I jerk off a friend in front of our group, he fucks me in my bedroom just feet away from them. What did I get myself into. This isn't just me being touched starved. This is more than attraction. Would I be willing to date Changkyun? It's hard to say. I could never let myself hold him back on anything, any of them really. Putting stress on them is the last thing I'd want, especially after everything that happened late last year. I also don't want to hold them back on finding someone better. I hear ruckus happening in the living room. Dear God, if he told them….wait, why would I be afraid? We're adults, we can fuck whoever. I'm not ashamed on what I did, if anything, just a little embarrassed that it happened while the guys were in the other room, but definitely not ashamed. I should just tell them.

I get out of the shower and put on my robe. Changkyun did lay out some clothes for me, what a sweetheart. He even threw my dirty clothes in the hamper? I love that man, can he just marry me?

I try to eavesdrop on the boys while I get dressed. Fuck, not surprised they're chatting in Korean. There's a knock on my door.

"I'm getting dressed, just a second!", I alert.

"It's Honey", Jooheon announces. I quickly finish getting dressed and jump in bed, spread eagle, faced down.

“Come in”, I groan, trying so hard to come off ill. The door opens and Jooheon wolf whistles at me.

"Little mouse, are you ok?", Jooheon soothes vocally. I wiggle in my bed. He giggles before sitting on the edge of my bed. His laugh can cure disease, I swear.

"What happened at work, jajiya?", he baby talks. I hear a tap of glass on my nightstand. Honey brought me something to drink? How could this man be so damn precious to me?

“Got overwhelmed with discussions on my project”, I sigh. I wasn’t lying. Projects are piling and there’s one in particular that is my priority, one that I’ve worked a long time to earn, and with insecurities, I worry that I will be pulled from the project any minute.

“Can I lay with you?”, his voice goes softer. I scoot to give him room. He climbs on my bed and lays on top of me, holding me like a koala. Thank goodness his body is pushing me down, I can completely hide my blushing face. I feel his dick pressed against my ass. I know he was wearing sweatpants, but I didn’t expect him to feel so...open. He tickles my waist to get me to smile. I’m definitely not as ticklish as some of the boys. I wiggle under Honey, trying to escape. The laughs fade.

“You are an incredible woman”, he whispers. He kisses my head.

“I’m sorry you had a shitty day. Let’s just forget about it right now”, he comforts. He brushes the hair out of my face, pressing his lips on my cheek. His body is warm, a good warm.

“Sarah?”, he hums, rubbing his thumb on my jawline. I accidentally arch my back as I lift my head up, nesting my head in the nook of his neck. A small hiss leaves his mouth. I unconsciously open my legs, having him fall in between. His dick is pressed on my pulsing, already sore pussy. I twist myself so I can kiss his cheek. What the fuck am I doing?

“I-I”, Jooheon stumbles. He instinctively rolls his hips. Fuck...me…

“Honey”, I inhale, stretching to kiss his neck and the back of his ear. I bump my ass to grind on him. His hands hold onto my hips as he pushes himself harder onto me, getting more and more erect. He’s right there. Take off my pants, please. Please. The longer he rolls, the more I want him. How could I be feeling this way? He kisses my neck with his luscious lips.

“Don’t stop”, I breathe in his ear.

“But Sarah”, he whimpers.

“I won’t tell if you won’t”, I add. I feel a smile form on his face.

#monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #monsta x fanfic #monsta x changkyun #monsta x jooheon #monsta x kihyun #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x shownu #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x wonho #monsta x #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop scenarios

215 notes · View notes

mynameisminhooooo · 4 years

Text

Baby Fever (Monsta X)

Request : Baby fever with Monsta X?

Shownu :

Y'all had been babysitting you friends baby while she was out of town for a couple days. He was the cutest little guy ever, his small yawns and his gummy smile. After you finished rocking the little human in your arms and put him down, you went to your room and told Hyunwoo that you had baby fever. It took him a minute to process what you said. Then he just took of his shirt and smiled at you.

"Ok, let's have a baby then..."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, he's asleep so we might not get another chance, let's go hurry up. Take off your pants"

(Ok but Dad Hyunwoo... Is the best Hyunwoo)

(Peep the dad bod, aka my favorite version of Hyunwoo)

Wonho :

He would be the one with baby fever. Your mom had just had a baby and he melted when he saw you holding your baby brother.

"You look so cute holding Y/B/N"

He would wait until you guys got home to tell you that he had baby fever.

"Awww, your a softy" you said pinching his cheeks.

"I'm serious Y/N"

"Let's take this slow, we aren't even married"

"Well do you want to get married... Because I want to marry you and have lots of cute chubby baby's with you"

"Omg, you're baby fever is through the roof..."

"I'm serious... We can get married"

Somehow bby fever turned into marriage fever... 👉🏽👈🏽

Minhyuk :

You guys were watching the return of superman when you looked at him and said you had baby fever. He looked back at you and smiled. He would be so happy to learn you would want baby's at some point, especially because y'all's parents have been nagging you guys.

"Awwww. Don't worry one day we'll have like 4 kids running around"

(10/10 would want an army, but of girls)

Kihyun :

Would just look at you weird when he realized you had baby fever. It's not that he didn't want to have a baby with you. But he wanted it to be you and him for a while. Your guy's schedule made it hard to see each other, he wanted to wait until you guys could settle down. He did want to have 2-3 kids with you in the future though.

"Y/N I know what your thinking and I'm sorry but right now I just don't think it's a good idea. We should just take everything slow"

Hyungwon :

You guys both had baby fever but you wouldn't act on it. You guys would just ask your friends who had kids if you guys could babysit.

"Y/N we're taking this kid home"

"So we stealing baby's now? I'm in."

"Aww look at his little yawn. Ohhh. Stretch those tiny arms"

You just looked at him and smiled. One day he might be saying that to y'all's future baby's.

"Y/N we should have a baby"

Would suggest but later on when you talk about it he'd be like 'I never said that'.

Jooheon :

Omg. Istg this dude would 10/10 have baby fever all the time. After talking on the phone with his niece he would just tell you how he was feeling.

"Y/N let's get married soon so we can have a baby"

But if you told him YOU had baby fever he'd be like,

"No, but maybe in 2-3 years"

"Ok, I'll wait"

But on the inside he'd definitely want a baby with you but he wanted everything to be perfect before y'all brought a human into the world. He'd definitely be happy to know that y'all would have little baby's in the future.

I.M :

You guys were that couple who would have a pregnancy scare at least 3 times a year. But after so many times you thought you got pregnant you actually liked the idea oh having a baby with Changkyun. He definitely didn't want a baby in that moment he enjoyed having you to himself.

"I don't want a baby right now, I just want to enjoy you without having to worry about anything affecting our relationship. I'm definitely open to have a baby later on though"

This reaction is all over the place.

#monsta x kihyun #monsta x wonho #monsta x shownu #monsta x i.m #monsta x jooheon #monsta x #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x reaction #kpop #kpop reaction

66 notes · View notes

blackmaylovesfries · 5 years

Text

"Don't touch my children!" - Meeting him

Asked: No

Words: 1180

Sinopse: Seventeen Hybrid AU - Yoon Jeonghan is a Scottish Fold cat, he hates being powerless. So Jeonghan thanked the gods when a little girl saved him.

Notices: Mentions of sexual abuse (nothing explicit) and violence (not consummated).

URGENT - BIRTHDAY POLL - Wonho’s B-Day is getting closer, help me!

Masterpost

Previous / Next

Jeonghan wasn’t happy with his life. He missed his old kitty life when his mother would come home late and were really busy but she would always have time to pamper him. At that time, he didn’t knew what kind of work his mother did nor was worried about it. He, although being poor, grew up as a prince in his house.

But now… Now he was quite far from being the royal he was. Now Jeonghan didn’t received any love besides the violent flesh lust that come from his clients. He was just a beautiful toy for them and he knew that. He was so sure about his place that he had long given up from expecting help.

After his mommy died, her boss went and dragged Jeonghan to the house. He was a big bad human while Jeonghan was only a 6 year old kitten. At the beginning he would fight back and sulk but after so many years and after being beaten so many times Jeonghan learned that he needed to accept his new reality. It didn’t matter if he didn't liked it.

The room he was now confined was just one of the many in the huge old house. It wasn’t the best nor the greatest but the furniture in it sure shown that Jeonghan was one of the most expensive hybrids of the place. Besides him, just another two hybrids could have a closet and a mirror in the room.

“Time’s up, freak!” The human responsible for his door opened it and grabbed the arm of the fat old man that was pressing Jeonghan on the bed for another round. While the man tried to fight against him, the muscular one just thrown him outside with his clothes and possessions before turning to Jeonghan. “A VIP client just arrived and asked especially for you. We hope you can satisfy her, right?”

The hybrid just nodded while cleaning himself. Jeonghan knew that what the other said was more of a treat than anything. This client must be really important and weird since women didn’t choose him often and the smile of his door guard was quite creepy.

And he wasn’t disappointed when a few minutes later, when he was already in his best clothing, a tiny girl entered his room using a freak mask that covered most of her face, letting he seeing just her eyes. They were cold and controlling like the others VIP clients that entered his room. Most of them concealed their faces too but normally they would just wear normal eyes masks. He never saw anyone going to that extreme to hide their face.

“Leave us.” Her voice was firm and low, making Jeonghan ask himself if he really had heard something. The broad man behind her nodded and left, locking the door behind him. Examining the surroundings, the little girl walked to the center of the room like she was floating. That was when her scent hit Jeonghan. And he unconsciously growled.

---

“I’ve said to leave us, didn’t I?” You said without turning back to the caveman that just invaded the room after hearing the hybrid growl.

“I’m sorry, lady, but I can’t let him without discipline, house rules.” As he took one step in the frightened hybrid’s direction, you just flipped your wrist, using a judo technique to knock him to the ground.

“I’ll repeat just one more time and if you disobey me again, you will be the one receiving a disciplinary action.” You pressed your feet on his back and pulled his arm. “Do you understand?” The man was quite scared so he just whispered a ‘yes, ma’am’ before fleeing out of the door again. “Now… What do we have here?”

You turned again to the slim hybrid that were looking at you from the other side of the room. You walked to the center of the place and raised your hands. That made Yoon Jeonghan relax a little. You were trying to show him that you wouldn’t hurt him, what was quite difficult after the scene he had seen.

You could actually understand why he reacted like that to your scent. Before you left the center every and each one of your adopted hybrids made sure to hug and nag at you so you could go back safe. They haven’t forgive you yet from last time with Seungcheol.

“Wh-What my master want me to do?” He whispered. You then remembered what your disguise was and that you didn’t told him yet why you were there. You couldn’t help but admire that even scared like hell, he would still try to do his job, you smiled sad beneath your mask.

“If you promise not to scream or make any loud noises again, I would like to take off this mask actually.” You gesture between you and him. He seemed to think for a few seconds before nodding. You released your breath. “Good.” You took it off “Now, how about we sit down and talk a little?”

---

Okay. Jeonghan definitely didn’t expected that. During his almost 20 years in the business Jeonghan never ever encountered someone like that cute midget. When she took of her mask Jeonghan couldn’t see her coldness anymore, just a childlike smile. Her eyes were shining when she sat on his bed.

“Come on, I’m not going to do what you are thinking. Sit beside me and let’s talk while I’m waiting.” She patted the space on her side and waited. Jeonghan’s sense of self preservation seemed to get used to her scent full of others hybrids smell so he went and sat a little distant of her.

“Waiting what?” Jeonghan cursed after he asked her. He shouldn’t be curious about his clients. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” The girl smiled to him and went back to study his room. “I can answer that if you answer honestly one of my questions. What do you think?” Jeonghan hesitated a little before nodding. “Do you like living here?”

“No.” She asked for honesty so that’s what she would get. The hybrid studied her while she seemed to think about something.

“Good. Because that’s what I’m waiting. I’m here to take you out of this hell as fast as my team can.” The human girl looked at him again but this time there was some seriousness on her eyes. “I’m the one who has to apologize… Sorry I took so long.”

The hybrid couldn’t process her words fast enough. Why were this girl apologizing to him? Why he did in fact trusted her? What did she mean with ‘taking him out’? What was happening? He was really thankful that the girl gave him time to understand everything he just heard before asking:

“Oh! I’m Y/n Y/s by the way.” She raised her hand “Don’t repeat it out loud, it’s better if they don’t know it.” For a fact she was kinda whispering. “So… do you want to come with us, Yoon Jeonghan?” Her big shiny eyes made he relax even more.

“Yes… But with one condition.”

Tag: @hopsiclesposts ; @woohoney ; @warm-smiles-and-blue-skies ; @childfmoonn ; @moonmin-miya

#Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen hybrid au #seventeen jeonghan #cat #cat jeonghan #jeonghan #hybrid jeonghan #hybrid au #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop x reader #kpop hybrid au

128 notes · View notes

monstaxnight · 5 years

Note

What kind of romanctics do you think they are, mxn? I dreamed about this last night.

shownu;

the classic romantic

the would do anything for you type, the just wants to spoil you and see that pretty love kiss your lips type

believes that expensive gestures, sensual touches and toe-curling kisses speak louder than any shy, stumbling words

tucking your hair behind your ear and making your cheek burn with the most beautiful little blush

one hundred crimson roses for the one hundred days you’ve allowed him to love you, delivered straight to your heart

little velvet boxes of dripping jewels, always engraved with his initials

handmade chocolates crafted especially for your sweet little tooth

dark lingerie laid over your sheets, always in the correct size. be good to me tonight, the messy handwriting pleads

wonho;

the bleeding heart romantic

the he doesn’t love you like i do type, the let my tongue explain how bad i crave you type

all-too-easy confessions and heartsick praises, passionate kisses and whirlwind promises, sex as the art of love and love as the art of sex

crying when you cry and loving every touch of his tongue to the salted tears you shed

worshiping you like the world lives and dies on your lips— anything you want, baby

flying halfway across the world just to lie beside you in bed for one lost little night

just to sink into that tight heat, tell you he loves you, and leave a part of himself inside you

little pink post-it notes attached to nudes left stuck to your body, remember me

minhyuk;

the eternal romantic

the romance is the reason my heart beats type, the i fell straight out of the pages of your favourite poetry type

kissed by that slight air of danger, so playful and provocative, a daydream believer always looking for the one in you and a forever on your lips.

dark baths sparkling and swirling with oils named something like ode to a nightingale or sex bomb

fixating on the softness of your hair; touching and teasing it and braiding it through his own

sharing the wildest stories with you, sending you to sleep with scandal on your lips

jealous words and jaded kisses, he doesn’t like those other boys

kihyun;

the devoted romantic

the leave god and fall for me instead baby type, the he’s poison but he’s so irresistible type.

woos you with the kind of ease that’s scary, the kind of overtly sexual yet beautifully soft serenades that make your heart do dangerous things.

shares every last secret of his soul with you, and expects you to do the same

you seem to always find the best parts of yourselves on the other’s lips

dark nights wining and dining and surprising you with something you told him you liked in a tiny anecdote months ago

knowing, just knowing, that he would kill for you if you asked him to.

hyungwon;

the practical romantic

the i want to be a heart and a home for you type, the i’m not playing around with this type

isn’t in love with you for the extremes of it or the gestures of it

he’s in love with you for the depth of it— for the way you make him feel in a world that’s otherwise barren

lazy nights spent lying in one another’s arms and reading one another’s minds

not leaving bed on the dark and dreary days when you don’t need to

kisses that last until your lips are numb and sex that lasts until your legs give out

jooheon;

the grand romantic

the i love it when you say my name type, the let’s have a love for the ages type

wants the whole world to know you’re his– that it’s his honey you get high on and his body you belong to and his heart you own.

public displays of love and longing, come sit on my lap and purr for me

spending every moment of his time on stage showing off, solely for you and the sweetness between your legs

conversations through kisses, wet noises and steamy laughter

melodramatic moments of heated words leading to heated sex leading to those dark, heated dreams

i.m;

the fantasy romantic

the at night i tell the moon about the way you moan type, the i’m broken come and fix me type

a romance crafted from black and broken heart emojis

a romance crafted from behind the lens of rose-tinted glasses

a romance crafted from the melancholy of always missing you

speaking almost exclusively in song lyrics, dirty talk and those deep three-am thoughts

the most tender, sinful moments of making out and the wildest, most raw moments of making up

addicted to that way your mind gives him brain orgasms and your body gives him constant little scandals

but scared, baby. so scared.

#monsta x #monsta x imagines #monsta x reactions

580 notes · View notes

jaehyunskitten22 · 5 years

Text

Vampire!Wonho x Chubby!Reader

I wrote this during study hall lol (jESUS I STARTED THIS TWO YEARS AGO)

Damn im old fam

Anyway let me know if you guys want a continuation of this okay i love you 💖😚

anyway lets do this thang

also in this headcanon wonho was probably changed in the 1400s js

Wonho was probably changed due to his helpful and caring nature.

A woman most likely approached him and acted like she was in distress. She lured him into a dark alley and attacked him, with the intent of draining him dry. (but she was interupted by another vampire shownu whom heard the noise of the struggle and grew concerned)

Wonho is at first devastated. He loves his friends and family so much and the fact that a monster took them away from him angers him a great deal.

When Shownu had first tried to take him in he was quite defensive.

He thinks about getting himself killed a lot, just to end the never ending loneliness and pain.

He eventually joins Shownu but he still doesn’t abandon the thought of dying.

he naturally has a protective personality, so i imagine that being a vampire would only intensify it

I also don’t see him as the sexy kind of vampire, i see him more as the local boy next door vampire lol

Anyway him being protective would be how he met you

He was walking around one day, enjoying the fresh air when he heard a scream coming from an alleyway and he ran to go and investigate it

when he reached the source, he saw that it came from a frightened girl that was being cornered by a sketchy looking vampire

and its just a universally accepted rule that children, pregnant women and people who couldn’t protect themselves were all off limits, just based off of morals and principle

And based on the way the vampire was standing over you, he could tell that you were being tracked or hunted down, which almost enrages hoseok

But he is good at communicating with people so he definitely keeps it cool and tries to look like he is unaffected to try and throw the other vampire off

He asks him what the problem is and he is informed that you are just a lost girl who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

but based on your clothing, hoseok can kind of tell that you are important and if you get killed it’s going to bring attention to the vampire population and that is really not good

and hoseok is just like ??? because how can anyone be willing to inflict harm on such a sweet and soft looking girl??? and all because she got lost???

so he’s just like ‘lol no’ and tells the vampire to get lost and he does because hoseok is a very intimidating looking vampire because of how big he is

and of course you are still terrified and confused and he doesn’t have the heart to ruin your perception of safety in your fragile little world so he offers to help you find your way home

and he isn’t expecting you to be so willing to go with him but you look up at him with such an innocent but sad look and now hoseok just feels unworthy to be in your presence because you look so fragile and innocent and he very much is not

and you’re so trusting, which can get you really hurt by a vampire, as they like taking advantage of naive humans

and your hands are really soft and warm and he really just wants to get you home and in bed because its getting dark and he wants to know you’re safe before the really scary vampires come out to play

and really hoseok doesn’t want anything other than you getting into bed and going to sleep so he knows that you’re okay

so after he drops you off he runs away a little confused because he doesn’t really get why he cares so much about you but he doesn’t think too much about it because he thinks that he won’t ever see you again anyway

You were the daughter of a high ranking official and after the night where you were attacked in the alley you are plagued by terrifying nightmares and you wake the castle up with your sobbing and screaming

Shownu and the others are pretty close to your father but wonho knows absolutely nothing about you due to the fact that he is so withdrawn and he rarely attends things with the others.

but eventually they all convince him to go one day and as he grows cloer to the castle he remembers the night he met you and he gets really excited to see you again despite his better judgement

when he sets eyes on you he gets very happy. like a smile so big spreads across his face that it looks like it will split his face in half and you’re so shy with him

and all of the other boys are in the background nudging eachother bc they notice how affectionate and soft wonho is for you

they are also a little hesitant though bc wonho is so skittish and angry but it all changes once he sees you again? he’s so happy and he becomes more friendly and chatty and he talks about how he wants to see you again

and thats great and all,,, but he can sometimes be a little impulsive and when he gets really hyped up and frisky after not feeding for a bit

he talks about wanting to sneak into your room and they all try to keep him from doing that but they cant watch him every night you get me?

so one day he sneaks out and climbs up to your window and easily gets in and he is very keen on waking you up and cornering you and basically devouring you because he’s not thinking straight

but when he sneaks into your room later on that night he sees you shuddering in bed from a nightmare and he can’t find it in himself to even pretend that he was going to hurt you.

he instead jumps down from your window sill and creeps into your room, studying your whimpering form very carefully.

He could see every detail of your face from across the room but he didn’t want to stay that far away.

And he really knows that he shouldn’t. like he really knows.

But he still gently sinks down into the chair next to your bed and just watches you

now that he’s thinking clearly and is very worried about you he tries to memorize every single one of your features, (not in a creepy way) He doesn’t know why he wants to do this but he does it anyway.

He notices that you smell really pleasing to him, like apples and dried leaves. (he doesn’t know what that means but he does know that he has a strong urge to protect you and its ridiculous how hard he has to try in order to hold back the snarl at the nightmare that is plaguing you)

he instinctively reaches his hand out and it hovers above you unsurely for about ½ a minute until he decides that he can’t take seeing that frown and hearing your tiny whimpers with your loud heart rate and heavy breathing anymore.

He rubs his hand up and down your back, trying to calm you the way his mother used to calm him.

He lightly tugged his fingers through your hair and watched in awe as you quickly calmed down and snuggled deeper into your pillow and blankets.

He watches you with a dumb little smile on his face until he hears a throat clear from the doorway and he looks up and panics when he sees your father standing there.

He’s prepared to be executed immediately for sneaking into your room, but the king surprises him

Instead of calling the guards, he quietly thanks wonho for helping you stay asleep, as you usually start crying at this time due to the dreams.

He just nods and kind of bolts because he hasn’t had any interactions with humans since being changed and really it was just A Lot.

He tells the clan about what happened when he gets back and Hyungwon lowkey knows what’s up because he’s the only mated vampire in their group and he chooses to not explain it due to you being so much younger and wonho being so skittish.

Wonho tells himself that he will never return to your room again but every night he always is there, comforting you when your nightmares were bothering you.

Your father sometimes talks with wonho and its obvious that he knows what wonho is, but he doesn’t feel like your safety is being sacrificed, if anything he feels that you are more safe with the vampire in your room than when he is out of it.

eventually it becomes obvious that wonho is liked in the palace because he prevents you from waking up the castle in the middle of the night

Your father introduces him to you as your new night time guard when you turn 17 but you lowkey already knew him because you had seen him sneak out of your room in morning as you woke up when he moved his hand from your back

Even though he can now just walk through the front gate he still chooses to crawl in through your window that you now leave open for him. And he tucks you in every night and sometimes lies with you in bed until you fall asleep, sometimes even closing his eyes and holding you close to him

he likes how soft and warm you are, it reminds him of how fragile and human you are and it’s a double edged sword because it reminds him of how dangerous and how much of a monster he is.your dad knows that there is something between you two and as you are coming of age he starts to leave you two alone together more.

Wonho has also started to notice his attraction towards you and it surprises him a bit

but you guys still get close and wonho knows that you feel the same way but he’s not sure if its because you actually like him or f it’s because he charmed you, something that vampires do naturally.he doesn’t want you to get hurt and he doesn’t want you to regret anything. he wants you to have a normal life and have babies and live until you die.

he doesn’t want to rob you of normal life.but he can be a selfish man, and he decides to be exactly that.he sticks around, growing attached to you and the way you look at him. He’s completely infatuated with you.

you also love the way he looks at you, the way you catch him appreciating your body in certain gowns. Especially the way he gets hard when he holds you at night now.

you two barely leave each other’s sight and he always has his hands on you in some way

every time wonho gets back from spending time with you the rest of the guys always ask him if you guys have had sex because he always looks so happy and sated, like had had just drained someone dry or he had a few orgasms and truthfully he’s just really happy. spending time with you just does something to him and he loves the feeling of holding you and protecting you at night

once again, hyungwon knows what this is but he doesn’t say a word

your hands always end up under his shirt and he always feels the kittenish nips and licks that you give him while you’re sleeping or that he hears the way you sigh and hum in pleasure and that you always end up grinding against his thigh in the middle of the night

yeah he has enough jerk off material to last him the next 2,000 years

on the days that you are forced to leave the castle without him he sneaks into your room and takes his time smelling everything. smelling your scent does something to him that just thinking about you doesn’t

he hates to admit it, but he has had the most intense orgasms with his face buried in one of your pillows that he switched with one of his own, humping against his mattress

and you know that he’s doing it because when you lay down on the pillow that he switched, it feels like it barely been used and it smells exactly like him.

and he can smell all of the things you have done in those sheets. every single thing.

he can smell your skin. your body wash. but what really gets him is that he can smell your pleasure.

he even catches you doing it one night, lightly mewling his name into the pillowcase that you had stripped off shortly after you got in there, something that he had marked with his scent because he wanted to help you sleep

your scent triggers his instinct to protect and mate, but by far the strongest instinct is to show you all aspects of love and what they all feel like

but the feeling that out weighs them all is wanting to keep you safe

and when you tell him how you feel about him after you get back from a ball where you had a little too much to drink, he does the only thing he can think of

he lies to you and says that he doesn’t feel the same and the sadness in your eyes makes him want to die and when you start to sniffle and tear up he gently coos at you the way he used to, telling you that you’re amazing and that you shouldn’t cry over a guy like him not feeling the same way because there are plenty of better guys out there.

after you fall asleep he prays to the lord above that you don’t remember this in the morning but why would he get that lucky

you never come out and say that you remember but he knows that you do because you’re shy now, and not in the cute way but in the very awkward way.

conversation doesn’t flow easily between you two anymore and everyone notices it.

it gets so bad that he begs your father to have a change of staff because he knows that his presence makes you hurt inside and he hates being able to see the consequences of his stupid actions

You become withdrawn and grouchy and so does he. He can’t stand lying to you but he feels like he has to because he wants you to marry a human and have a pretty little family, something that he can’t give you.

he keeps telling himself that you will be married off soon, and that you will be better when that happens

but it doesnt happen

everyone around you is receiving marriage propositions from other nobles and you arent

you assume it’s because you don’t look like a pretty and thin princess and you do not want to be seen outside of the palace walls anymore.he notices that you are starting to look ill and tired a lot of the time and he’s afraid that you’re dying

and he feels like he’s dying too. he misses everything about you and he knows that he did the wrong thing but he also thinks that you could never forgive him for that so he doesn’t try to fix it

everyone starts worrying about you two because you guys drifted apart so quickly and no one knows what happened

he hates himself so much again and he sees no worth in his life anymore but he doesn’t want to end it either because he’s afraid of never being able to see you again or upsetting you further

he just has so much affection for you and he can’t stand not being able to give it to you all the time and he constantly mopes around the house and everyone gets fed up pretty quickly bc tbh he made the mess himself but they also know that he was doing what he thought was best at the time.

no one really knows what to do though. they don’t know how to fix it becAUSE THEY DONT KNOW WHAT HE D ID

and while all of this is happening they still visit your father regularly wonho just doesn’t come

and Hyungwon is 1000% done with this situation ok he just wants wonho to be happy and to quit sabotaging himself

so hyungwon legit comes flat out and asks you what wonho did to you bc “whatever it was, he’s completely devastated over it and he mopes about it a lot.”

and that surprises you bc? he didn’t really do anything he jsut didn’t like you back and you tell them that and their eyes dead ass roll so far into their heads you’re afraid they’ll get stuck

and kihyuns’s just like “are we even really sUrPrISeD”

So they basically start tripping all over themselves, trying to explain to you that a) you must be blind, b) he was lying, and c) yOU MUST BE BLIND

And you dont know what to think bc????? Hoseok???? Nooo surely not

Right?

And then when you think about it, it kinda makes sense in a way

But you dont know what to do

Like you didnt do anything??? It was him. He’s the one who decided to lie to you, and it really hurts you

Its not like he was trying to fix it. He was doing everything in his power to completely ignore you

So maybe he doesnt want it fixed

But he does. He really does

He just doesn’t know what to do either

So you both just,,,,, leave it.

#wonho #shin hoseok #wonho scenarios #wonho imagines #monsta x #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #wonho smut #chubby reader

269 notes · View notes