I really don't understand what the hell it's going on but I'm not letting you ruin this for me!
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KARKAT: WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT YOUR FUCKING FURSONA? THAT’S CRINGE!
JADE: youre cringe!!!!!! >:(
KARKAT: …
[Later]
KARKAT: [CRIES TO HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR]
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“Don’t you get worn out from being angry all the time?”
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asuka is always getting stuck in this perpetual unwanted girlhood. she's always been in a rush to grow up. like as a child she craved independence above all else, she was constantly trying to prove how much of an adult she was by becoming an eva pilot, by refusing to cry, by mimicking the way she saw adults flirt & trying to kiss shinji, but when she finally SHOULD be an adult, she's still stuck as a child thanks to the evas. she's still the same isolated child at 30 as she was at 14, and she's still playing with the same doll.
in a way, it's not the "curse of the eva" that she's suffering from, but HER curse. it's the nightmare of her childhood made real. you don't suddenly stop being a scared little girl because you age out of it. you do it the same way shinji does: by looking at all the hurt you experienced as a child and letting it go
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the military, after inventing big mech robots that interface with your body and neural connections directly, discovered that their first choice of pilot: the battle hardened sexily-scarred war hero guy, was a complete failure. he was already so primed for combat, that they couldn't use inject dopamine into him to make him lust for death and destruction. he was almost apathetic. so after getting rid of him (you cant really survive a removal from a mech since they completely interlace through and replace parts of you), the engineers realised you'd need the complete opposite. so they sent out envoys to pristine little villages disguised as weary travellers, looking for the most kind-hearted, innocent, untainted-by-evil-ideas girl they could. because once they were tricked into coming to the research facility under guise of a random scholarship program, and were sedated and put into the mech, and their minds were flooded with chemicals and visuals far beyond their imagination ... they were perfect. their bloodlust was insatiable. nothing could have defended against the sheer joy that killing would inspire in such a once virtuous person. they were addicted to annihilation instantly. a junkie to aiming terror at wherever her superiors directed.
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