#even if i only take 1 day off which i quite literally cannot do thats 8.3 hours a day

[nomaishuttle]

justt realized that th site i ws using t figure out my salary assumed id be working 56 hours a week when in reality i usually work likee 15 hours a week max . im gonna throw up Lol Lol Lol

[darlington-v]

I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more… before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you… they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

Tag list:

@iamtheonewhocares @indigo123789 @xpurpleglitter

If you want to be added drop me a message

[energyanon]

Hi Guys,  I hate doing this, I am sorry if this is harsh, I’m trying to come at this as nicely as I can, but I do need to be FIRM on this aswell. This isn’t an attack, merely an education. This was a nice little area for a while, now its started to go too far: 

Over the past couple of days and especially last night, I have seen an influx of people sending me their own readings. 

This is my fault, I have been encouraged and interested in seeing others try this out - it was my assumption that these had been done with knowledge or experience, and that there would be one MAYBE two others. Multiple readings that I received last night were not. 

I have been doing this for enough years to know that constellations are rare for people to know and even rarer for people to be able to facilitate. Considering you have to train for it, and read about it, practice with multiple situations and scenarios for years. This isn’t just another version of tarot thats “easier”, just as tarot takes years to perfect and understand what you are feeling, so does this. The difference is, if you get it wrong, you are fucking with someone’s energy. Which is exactly what I have been sent. 

Unfortunately everyone is on anon I can’t pinpoint the people exactly, and I can’t speak to them privately, hence the public notice. Note: Not everyone fucked up, so I am sorry that you are being included in this, as you are anon i can’t tell you who you are or arent. You will know if you are apart of this once you have read:

I cant stop you from doing this, some of you seem to believe you can just step into it, without any proper set up or consideration to the energy. Fine, I can’t stop you. But please be more cautious with what you are doing. I have said before that when you’re doing readings, they should not know that they are happening, but with what a couple of people sent me last night, id be surprised if they weren’t feeling weird AF today with how many people were warping their shit on their behalf. Only one of you did this correctly, but still said something concerning which is why I also have to bring it up. 

Here are some guidelines that if you are going to continue at least follow these: 

1. Once the energy has stopped, you stop. If something is hidden to you, you stop. You do not “see if you can try again” you stop. It’s hidden from you for a reason. Remember, if this were being done on you and you wanted to protect someone, something or a secret, you have the right to protect that. No one has a right to gain access or force access into that. 

2. You observe the energy ONLY. do not CONTACT the person. You do not encourage anyone to go on to a different path that they are currently on. You don’t speak to them as you v them. Can you IMAGINE if some random came up to you and started talking about your life and trying to get you go or do something else? Youre quite literally hijacking that person. NEVER do that. Never ever do that. Never. 

3. When i do questions, notice that I wait until the energy has no further movement. until that is done, you will not be getting an accurate answer, as the energy is not done moving. When I ask questions, I am not giving them suggestions or help, I ask a question, they answer. If i need clarification, I’ll get one, but I otherwise move on.  4. Answers are short for a reason, if your person is speaking in full sentences, that is you getting in your head about it. 

5. And every single one of you should have felt when the energy was off. I even read that the energy is off, I don’t know how you wouldn’t feel it. If you didn’t feel it, you need to practice more, if you did feel it and ignored it, you need to stop what you’re doing.

6. You cannot just walk into a reading and hammer these people with questions, technically it’s not wrong, but it’s not respectful. They don’t owe you anything. You need to be more careful with this.  Please, please, if you are going to continue this practice with a friend or with yourself that has given permission. This isn’t a joke, I know it seems like something that is easy, but it’s not, you have to cleanse yourself and the energy afterwards, you need to be attuned to if the person in front of you is uncomfortable and guide them back to the place they were before you jumped in.  One question you need to ask: If this goes south, and they have a sudden reaction, if you’ve set up the field wrong and they’re now feeling YOU, do you know how to guide them out of that?  Because i’ll tell you that once happened to me while I had a practice session with someone - they didn’t know that what where they were gonna place me would trigger me, they didn’t realise what was happening soon enough and I went into a straight up panic attack, Hyperventilating, crying, we had to end it, even the facilitator had to take an hour to get me back to a calm (because the person wasn’t even able to close it properly, they got spooked and just ended it). That calm isn’t where it ended, I was in a depression for days. This isn’t something to fuck around with. If you’re doing it wrong, you can cause harm. If you don’t know how to get them out of it. DO NOT. DO IT. I will not post any more readings from anyone else unless I can see that the above guidelines have been followed. I understand that some people were curious or excited, that’s really great, i’m not here to dull your enthusiasm, but please please practice elsewhere until you are able to follow the above without even having to think about it, and until you know how to guide them back if the reading goes to shit. Not just for their sake, but for you aswell.  I know some of you said that you “continued to feel x for hours” you should feel nothing else but yourself immediately after the reading is done if you have gotten yourself out of it. If you do not know how to do this, please do not do a reading until you know how to do this, or practice with someone who can get you out.

This is also my mistake, I was getting a bit silly in my responses yesterday, we were all having fun. I have also had some fun with my own readings in terms of my commentary, this could also have been misinterpreted, from now, I will make sure that the reading is the reading only, and it is written in a more serious manner. I can understand how that was misinterpreted as readings just being light and fun. My mistake. I apologise.

I also understand that all of you only had pure intentions. The intentions aren’t the issue, it’s the actions that were made. I’m not mad at anyone, you just need to understand what can happen.

[daaziscoolbesties]

i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

[flockofdoves]

i feel really really weird this week. trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. like its certainly not the first time i’ve felt like this in my life but ive just not had my emotions so . not numbed? in so long or felt like crying totally unprompted or felt vaguely angry at random shit in a certain sort of way (which for something new then makes me feel super guilty because i used to be bad with how i went about anger and i guess i never really fully learned how to practice being normal about it i just started constantly suppressing it along with every other emotion so seeing myself angry about inconsequential shit even if im not acting on it makes me feel awful like people are potentially seeing my reaction to them when its not a justified thing even if i dont think i’m doing anything). like sure those were super normal in past parts of my life. maybe even in the context of my job which i guess i only quit just like 7 months ago now even if i otherwise felt numb through the year before that too. and not something surprising to emerge again bc it has in the past year too but just maybe not so much at once but on top of that just feel a bit paranoid about stuff like people reading my mind or bugs crawling on me (or imagining sensations like that or seeing that or w/e)

i guess in typing all this out when i think about it the one time i felt like this this past half year that i can think of (or at least pretty similar and notable in the way i felt weird minus the anger. actually i didnt feel angry til the past few days so i think thats just at like. being around someone whos made vaguely bigoted comments that i’m affected by but then feeling guilty for reading the worst into unrelated shit bc of that making me feel unsafe) is when my brothers girlfriend visited. and now this past couple weeks she visited and then my uncle visited and then my moms friend visited and in general just theres more invitations to see other people even not staying w us bc everyones vaccinated.

so i guess the biggest factor throughout all of that is like. having to get used to interacting with people that i havent interacted with much in this past over 2 years of being isolated while also simultaneously having my daily routines disrupted by that a bit?? which feels absolutely insane to me that that would have That disproportional of an effect and be something i really did not even know how to attribute at all until typing this out right now. like i really appreciate and have fun with a lot of those people its not bc i dislike them or literally anything like that i think this is just a bit of a deranged unexpected side effect of whatever fucking stage of isolation i’m at where instead of just feeling really stilted in conversation or feeling like i dont know how to normally talk to people or accidentally crying while talking to people or oversharing and being awkward like i have at various times throughout my 2 years and 4 months of isolation when i had brief periods of interacting with people i cared about and/or people around my age again, while sure a lot of that is still somewhat happening (but not the crying in conversation, that was once when i got to see friends from college once literally right before i really realized the pandemic was starting and i couldnt keep visiting after not seeing them for a year before then. i just havent seen any of those friends since)  i think its like. not knowing at all how to act normally around people but also not being as used to the people i am newly interacting with while my routines interrupted so whether i want to make a good impression around them in spite of that or am trying to be normal about feeling upset about shit people i dont know well but cant just not be around say or whatever  ig it just like. flares up my anxieties about what can tell from what i say or how theey take me and all that leads to intrusive thoughts and paranoia about not just giving off the wrong conversational things but literally people reading my mind and judging me for intrusive thoughts recursive cycle etc and all that just makes me feel exhausted and unsafe and useless and whatever etc and maybe subconsciously is bringing up a lot of reocurring emotional shit i’ve dwelled on but not cried about much at all this past half year idk. plus i’m just stressed about how much i really want to get done before starting to move and go back to school.

makes sense in explaining most of it in typing it out right now but nonetheless dont like that. isolation has had a lot of awful effects on me (literally i know i’m talking to so many other people in the world now with that its nothing special lol. ‘i was doing this for a year prepandemic’ is a stupid thing to emphasize 1 year is horrible enough and it just blends together) and i’ve long been terrified thinking about how it could be affecting me in more unforeseen and/or longterm ways but i think i was thinking i had a general sense of how my trouble with interacting with people again would manifest and i really dont like seeing that like. i literally did not fucking know how to connect my emotions and other shit recently to that til right now. better than not connecting it at all of course but i dont like it feeling so unconnected. in general have been very disconnected from emotions even outside of social interaction type stuff so of course thats something to work on too but idk just scary to realize maybe i dont even know the general shape of how my trouble “reintegrating into society” is gonna look like lol. and while i’m hoping it will feel better (but honestly probably a lot more intense emotions even if positive) with realizing this know i really even more cannot even begin to imagine how seeing people ive been close to in the past again will end up going when i get to that

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

~

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

~

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

~

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass 

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me! 

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing. 

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh 

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

~

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well 

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal. 

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active. 

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

~

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

[im-not-shouting-im-projecting]

Some Seamster!Quinn Cooper HCs

I didnt intend for this to be this long, but my seamstress heart was inspired. I got kind of carried away, and had to refocus, so I'm going to do another post soon with some advice and anecdotes for wrighting costumers.

For the last couple of months I have been absolutely Obsessed with @poindextears 's Crickets, her SMH post-Waffle Frog OCs, and I have had a lot of headcannons about Quinn Cooper: a theatre kid extrordanare and Hoh icon who talks like he's from 50s and is the boyfreind of Nando (Cricket dman) as we have quite a bit in common. All of Mel's fics are amazing, and I would highly recommend! Give them a read on tumblr or AO3

--

I know Mel has said that Quinn's favorite place is Joanne's, which is completely understandable for someone who doesn't live near actual textile markets... but Joanne's (and similar chain craft/fiberarts supply stores) suck.

Like first of all, on a monetary level... I'm going to start with the assumption that high school Quinn didn't have a large project budget (reasoning: 1. his family is already tight with money, 2. I can't imagine his not-particularly-supportive guardians gave him lots of spending money (esp with theatre fees and materials) 3. I can't imagine he brought in tons of money on the side with a theatre schedule + grades good enough to go to med school + time with his old lady freind + time for sewing)

With that being said: Fabric is expensive. Way more expensive than people expect. Especially if you don't have expensive machinery (like overlock machines) that make cheap synthetic fabrics usable. Also I like to imagine Quinn is in the "fabrics made of plastic are itchy and bad for the enviornment" club like me.

All that is to say: Joanne's is absolutely the worst place that isn't actively upscale to buy fabric (or materials) on a budget.

- The shop's target demographic is stay-at-home white suburban moms who have the time to clip coupons, buy materials on a "when it's on sale" basis as opposed to a "my sister didn't notice the four seperate places I marked my shears 'fabric only' so now I physically cannot continue this project without buying new extra-sharp fabric scissors'" basis, and importantly: can stop by the store every day for a month because discounted items change on a day to day basis, all of which is not particularly conducive to someone a high school kids on a budget.

- Even with all the discounts in existance, the fabrics there are still super expensive and especially for the often lackluster quality (like... they are fine but if I'm paying literally $40/y for enough faux fur to make a big enough "mane" to cover the gap between the cowardly lion's padding and the actor's neck, we shouldnt have to sweep the fur bits off the stage at intermission)

- Additionally if you need a lot of fabric, say enough 7ft squares of heavy mustard yellow fabric for 30 lioness cape/pants? You might just need to run 4 seperate Joanne's out of two different fabrics that were close enough to each other to work

If you are putting in the time and effort to make something complicated,

- Also, and this is probably the most obvious: there just aren't that many options. If you want anything other than a cotton or fleece, than you better hope the single shade they have in the right color works

So I have established: Joanne's = Bad

So how does Quinn factor into all this?

Well first of all I would like to imagine that at some point Quinn helped out in SMH costuming, where they teach him the magic of using something that already exists. Samwell being as liberal as it is, I would like to think that the costuming people are aware of how awful the current state of fabric waste is, and, how his sewing skills are so much better used altering things at thrift shops beginning his journey twords my completeley basess headcannon that he one day adopts some vintage looks

While I think he would be down to adopt some of these practices in his costuming (a la my personal anectode below), I have a feeling that Quinn is one of those people who just likes to make things from scratch. (reasoning: 1 his general personality, but far more importantly, 2 THIS BOY WANTED TO MAKE EVAN HANSEN'S POLO BY HAND, WHY??? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT TAKES???????? YOU ARE WILLING TO SPEND UPWORDS OF TEN HOURS OF YOUR LIFE ON A MODERN STYLE SHIRT THATS GOING TO BE SEEN 4 TIMES???)

I get it, especially for historical reconstructions, there are people who genuinely love sewing by hand, I love Bernadette Banner as much as the next seamstress, but I honestly don't know how they do it.

I like to think that Quinn would be wandering around some thrift store and out of the corner of his eye notice some curtains and have a vision of frolicking through a meadow like Julie Andrews in cloths made out of a curtain... metaphorically. But he def gets "Do a Dear" stuck in his head every time he wears it

Of course the SMH Costuming crew introduce him to some better places to at least get draping and mock up fabrics, but I think they would also introduce him to an actual fabric store.

Samwell is close enough to Boston that I'm sure there's an actual fabric warehouse within driving distance, so when Quinn can't find a suitable material at his beloved Joanne's, and is understandably skeptical about ordering fabric online, Ford is just like dude, go to the fabric warehouse, so he gives it a try.

Ok his fist thought when he gets there is omg everything is so big. Ok, that's his second thought, his first thought is ugh this smells like the SMH locker room, bc a giant block of concrete with no internal climate control in the New England humidity stuffed to the brim with moisture-holding fabric is def gonna make some kind of funk.

But after that like...

Ok, on the left is your average Joanne's while on the right is your average fabric warehouse

I can totally imagine him physically getting lost. He is tiny, and those places are total mazes, absolutely ginormus, they are all stacked literally 8 feet tall, and all the rows look the same.

Fabric in warehouses is stored for maximum capacity as opposed to places like Joanne's where it is purposely stored in ways that display the whole selection at once. Additionally, while hobbyist bolts face out as much as possible so you can see it at a glance, professional grade bolts face in for protection

...If it's on the shelves at all, the hallmark of a textile warehouse is just dozens of bolts leaning haphazardly in precarious places

This tiny boy is just absolutely surrounded by rows upon rows of fabric, stored in ways that are absolutely not conducive to being looked at easily, and is incredibly frusturated bc Aggghhh I can't look at any of this without moving all of it around, and I can't reach any of it!!!

BUT!

Guess what he has?

Nando to the rescue!

Quinn's big strong dman boyfriend is more than willing to move around and carry the bolts for him and when need be he'll just straight up plop Quinn on his shoulders so he can see the stuff at the top :)

Ok, that's the gist of what I had to say, some other little seamster!Quinn hcs:

his old lady friend taught him the absolute basics, and his wedding gift from her is her 70 year old sewing machine that he first learned to sew on and he treasures that thing FOREVER

bc of his apparent love of hand sewing he is one of those people that swears by genuine leather thimbles, idk why it just feels like him

whenever people compliment his outfit he is just casually like "Oh thanks, I made it" (bc non sewers are always astounded by that and we get to gloat) because I said so

he makes Nando cute crop tops

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Headcanons for La Squadra with a s/o that is the living embodiment of the lethal chef trope.

Me and you both anon

- Risotto won’t really mind this since he himself isn’t that great of a cook. All that he can do is make some basic ass sandwiches and fry some eggs, but thats about it really. If anything you being a total disaster in the kitchen would only motivate him further to get better at cooking (even though he’d keep failing miserably) and to also try to teach you stuff in the process. Way too often the both of you would try cooking something only to either almost set the damn kitchen on fire or just...make a whole m e s s, so it’s no surprise that Risotto would almost go bankrupt since you’d keep ordering takeout again and again on a daily basis.

- Formaggio is actually way fucking worse than Risotto.  Whilst Riso can manage to not set the ENTIRE kitchen on fire whilst attempting to cook, this man is both reckless AND stubborn to top it off. Formaggio will get absolutely l i v i d once someone insults his cooking and will then attempt to prepare something only to destroy everything within a 10 mile radius. That being said, you’d both go fucking bankrupt due to always ordering takeout after failing to cook actual edible meals. This is another reason why Formaggio is going to be hella touched if you ever try cooking something for him, even if it’s absolutely unedible. He acknowledges the thought and work put into it and will gladly chomp it down even if he ends up throwing up 1 hour later.

- Melone is most likely the worst when it comes to cooking in the entire group. Sure Riso and Formaggio ain’t skilled at all, but M e l o n e? God forbid. This bitch not only sets the kitchen on fire but the ENTIRE HOUSE as well, so don’t even think about inviting him over to help you prepare dinner. If anything, you’d both be living off of whatever Prosciutto cooks since Melone is both unskilled AND broke, so it’s not like he can afford ordering takeout too often. Worst part is, Melone gets overly excited when it comes to cooking and thinks he doesn���t suck at all only to trip over his own feet the next second and drop everything he was holding on the floor, later on heating up the oven for too long and making it almost fucking combust. But hey he doesn’t mind that you can’t cook at all, if anything he feels better about his own chaotic lack of skill.

- Ghiaccio is kinda hit or miss with cooking. Contrary to popular belief he can actually produce actual edible meals sometimes....that is if he doesn’t end up smashing something to bits out of sheer anger in the process. His anger issues are mainly the sole cause of his meals not turning out ok because he just doesn’t have enough patience most of the times to actually finish what we started. But on another note, he doesn’t mind that you’re a kitchen disaster and actually feels lowkey touched if you decide to surprise him with a meal one evening, even if it’s not that good. Of course that he won’t ever admit shit and will only blush and act like his usual tsundere self, but he really does appreciate the gesture. Hell, most likely he’ll end up trying to teach you to cook stuff and you’d most likely be able to tame his feral ass in the process too. He’s especially a fan of foreign traditional dishes.

- Illuso is actually pretty damn decent with cooking himself, so he wouldn’t be THAT worried about your lack of cooking skills....unless you end up setting fire to the kitchen or something. From simple things such as french fries, fried/grilled meat to more complicated Italian dishes, the man has a surprisingly immense amount of patience for cooking and will gladly keep preparing food on a daily basis for the both of you. He actually finds your kitchen disaster self to be quite adorable, double that if you try so hard to surprise him with a meal one day. He’ll eat that up even if it doesn’t taste amazing. Don’t be afraid to ask him to teach you stuff either, he’s a pretty decent teacher too although he has a tendency to not take things seriously and he may or may not try to start food fights every fucking 5 minutes.

- Prosciutto is the goddamn Gordon Ramsay of La Squadra and you cannot change my mind. This man has an absolute t a l e n t in the kitchen and is able to not only cook all sorts of traditional and intricate Italian dishes, but also plenty of other foreign foods and he does a goddamn splendid job too. He’d often be the one cooking for both himself and his brother ever since he was young, so let’s just say that he has alot of experience around the kitchen. Mans can even bake and he has a special way of making cannoli and tiramisu. That being said, at first your lack of skill would REALLY throw him off guard and all that he’d do is s i g h upon seeing you fail again and again. But he knows better than to make fun of people, therefore he’d quite literally take you under his wing and teach you how to properly cook which would turn out to be quite pleasant...aside from the fact that he can get v e r y Gordon Ramsay-ish at times.

- Pesci can also surprisingly cook all sorts of meals thanks to his brother who INSISTED on teaching him how to at least be able to not fucking starve when he’s all by himself. In his younger years he was probably way more worse than you anyway, always relying on poor Prosciutto to cook meals on a daily basis 3 times a day. But as of now he’s big brain as fuck and does a pretty decent job when trying to make classic Italian food such as pasta, pizza, lasagne and arancini. He’d find it quite amusing but also oddly cute how you always end up burning shit no matter how hard you try, hence why he’d immediately go up to his brother and ask him for advice on how to properly coach you and turn you into a great chief just like Prosciutto. Or maybe not since let’s be honest no one can beat Italian Gordon Ramsay. But nonetheless, Pesci would be more than happy to help you out in the kitchen and this would actually be a common way for you two of spending quality bonding time together. 

[shireviews]

“painter of the night” (야화첩)

by byeonduck

“Na-kyum is a young painter with an exceptional talent: creating erotic images of men. Though he has published a few collections under a pseudonym, he has decided to quit painting. Then Seungho, a young nobleman, barges into his life. A hell-raiser notorious for his insatiable lust, Seungho forces Na-kyum to become his private painter. However, the nights that await Na-kyum are beyond anything he could have imagined.”

status: ongoing

warnings⚠️: kidnapping, rape

this is literally like every asian historical drama ever but 50 shades of GAY

tldr

✨the plot✨

one night, our resident orphaned, high-functional alcoholic, nakyum is given a job offer by our resident sodomy-loving lord seungho for his UNIQUE ability to paint hentai erotica that ERECTS SEUNGHOS LOINS! however, nakyum declines, makes excuses, and gets a guy killed all because he is a ･ﾟ✧*changed*✧･ﾟ man and does not paint that absurdity anymore.

does seungho listen? of course not, this is a yaoi.

so lo and behold, nakyum is kidnapped and forced to watch and paint seungho and his plus one jihwa get it on. but when nakyums refusal to paint becomes a problem for seungho and his ding-a-ling, mega-nerd jung inhun is introduced as leverage. why? because softboi nakyum adores inhun and would do anything to see his teacher’s political career pop off; even paint seungho and his mega schlong. 

however! more! drama! ensues! when we learn that inhun is the reason nakyum stopped painting. but if stop painting he remains, then undoubtedly would inhuns non-existent career be ruined by seungho, and nakyum loves his teacher way too much for that to happen. 

the painting sessions then begin to involve NAKYUM ON SEUNGHO action which threatens and angers seunghos plus one jihwa cough irrelevant cough enough to put out a hit on nakyum. so yeah season 1 ends with an assassin coming 4 nakyums a$$ and inhun finding out and calling nakyum a prostitute.

hooray for season 2

✨the character development✨

yoon seungho

this man went from pegging 5+ men in one night theres a reason ho is in his name to ONLY pegging nakyum on the reg if thats not character dev idk what is 

at least theres consent in season 2 

baek na-kyum

he cries so damn much but i mean given his circumstances it could be worse. idek what to say about character development for nakyum like the only thing that develops is his endurance to seunghos bullshit so i mean theres that 

it’ll come to me later i swear

jihwa

hoe

jung in-hun

he was a tolerable character but gradually got worse and worse if they dont bury this silly mofo in season 2

he couldnt take the hint for like 90% of season 1 and when he finally did, had the audacity to call nakyum a prostitute like homie that is not the move -- he is the whole reason why your literature and career is even being CONSIDERED atm and you go and call him a whore great work

✨the porn✨

censoring system: light sabers

first smut scene: chapter 1 they said yall wanna see sum real speed

favorite smut scene: chapter 45 the consent is immaculate

least favorite smut scene: they were all okay

i will now proceed to summarize my analysis of every single smut scene in this yaoi 

meat and ren can suck it

🔞 = major smut scenes

chapter 1 + 2: 

sudden, not an actual smut tbh u just see images of seungho blowing/pegging his plus one 

chapter 3 + 4:

first scene!

pegging galore god

multiple rounds seungho said STAMINA

imagine getting that horny from a bunch of pictures cant relate

chapter 8:

orgy gone wrong

chapter 9:

orgy gone right

nakyum beats his meat

chapter 13 + 14 + 15:

nipples, blowjobs, fingering, multiple positions

plus one gets jealous lmfao

chapter 16:

nakyum x seungho omg periodt pooh

🔞chapter 20 + 21:

NAKYUM X SEUNGHO PERIODT

technically rape since nakyum thinks hes doing it with inhun learned sir poor babe

hes enjoying it (???) 

lord

he remembers NOTHING LMFAOAOAO

🔞chapter 25 + 26:

we’re border lining killing stalking rape god this is not how you recover memory loss seungho

hes enjoying it (???^#!!#$^&&%%$)

we all hate seungho whats new

chapter 27 + 28:

follow up blowjob but dont get caught by inhun wowza

this is oral rape oh my god

🔞chapter 31 + 32:

nakyum x seungho development we love to see it

less rape more noncon

they’re enjoying it 

multiple rounds and positions they said FLEXIBILITY AND STAMINA

SEUNGHOS MASSIVE HORSE SCHLONG SENT NAKYUM INTO A FEVER LMFAOAOAOAO

chapter 36 + 37:

less rapey blowjob for NAKYUM THIS TIME LESGOO

squishy seungho cheeks and not the ass cheeks

chapter 39:

the ancient version of public sex

🔞chapter 42:

nakyum initiated it this time omg what he did get slapped tho

yea nakyum is a sex crier

fin.

✨the v✨

this was the second yaoi i read and although better than killing stalking imo, it still retains that rapey energy so uh 

i first read this in april and as of writing this in late july, out of all the yaois ive read in those three months, painter of the night still remains one of my favorite art styles. literally nothing drawn in this style can be ugly.

also fun fact, i binge read the first season of painter of the night in like a day and the ENTIRE time i was listening to mayday by crush ft. joy and now i cannot listen to that song without associating it with seungho and his horse sized manhood good day and good night

🦋 make your puthy throb percentage: 96%

[kuratoki]

Changes 04

Are you enjoying this so far? Who else is wrecked by their comeback teasers? My heart CANNOT take it!!! 

Do you agree that things change in time? Well four years abroad would tell wouldn’t it?

Pairing: Reader x Jeno ft. NCT

Words: 3563

Warning: Mild swearing

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 

[7:30AM] Unknown - Hey Y/N? It’s Jeno, I got your number from HanaDo you maybe want to walk to school together? I’ll wait till 8 for your reply :)

Jeno frowned when you didn’t reply to his text and wondered if you were ignoring him from the night before. Was it too much? Did he come off too strong?

When he saw that it was well past eight, he sighed to himself before walking to school so he could get to his first dance class of the day to stretch before everyone else got in.

What he didn’t expect was to walk in to see you and Jisung in your dance clothes, sitting against the mirror with your eyes closed and earbuds in, slightly out of breath. He was about to make his presence known before Jisung opened his mouth.

“The next time you wake me up for an intense warm up like that again, I will quit this school.” he said suddenly opening his eyes, “How are you even functioning with the little sleep you got?” 

“I question myself about a lot of things.” you muttered with your eyes closed, “shouldn’t you be used to this?” 

“Starting school again puts me in the wake up later groove.” he admitted before he noticed Jeno and waved at the other boy who entered the class with a nod, eyeing the two of you curiously, “Plus, our team had the 6am warm up spot this year so it’s not like anything changed. Hey Jeno.” 

You opened your eyes and made eye contact with said boy who just entered and tried to hide your blush. Even though it was only the night before, the conversation played fresh on your mind. It was the main reason why you dragged Jisung out at such a weird hour to warm up before classes started. So you could get your mind off of it.

“Did you guys come early?” Jeno asked as Jisung nodded.

“We’ve been here since six. Went through some of our warm up drills that we had to do over the summer and Y/N wanted to start early.” he explained and cast you aside glance. He knew all about the night before which was actually the main reason he was dragged out of bed so early against his will but then again, you were someone he found really hard to say no to.

Jeno went and got changed and by the time he had come back, Jisung was on his phone watching whatever while you had both your earphones plugged in and your eyes were once again closed. He looked at Jisung’s hand which was drawing comforting circles on your thigh and frowned. Little did he know, Jisung was doing this to lower your anxiety while Jeno was around.

“Aish, we messed up the flip at the last second.” Jisung said as you opened your eyes and leaned over to what Jisung was watching and thats when Jeno realized Jisung was watching a playback of your practice video.

He sat next to Jisung and leaned over to see the video.

Jisung used his finger to show you the part and you let out a sigh.

“Ah, so it HAS to be on the beat.” you said watching the replay again as Jisung got up.

“Yea, so it’s literally, stretch, pull back and flip. But it has to be sharp.” he explained while showing you what he meant, “Cause then the beat drops and mix happens.”

Jisung went and put the song to the specific part you were running through before he got into position while you got up to join him and the two of you ran through that part of the choreography you were trying to perfect.

After a few tries you let out a small frustrated sigh, regardless how many times you tried it, the timing of the flip was still off.

“Maybe Y/N should pull back sooner,” Jeno suggested after watching what the two of you were trying to accomplish.

You had totally forgotten that he was there and was surprised you didn’t notice. Dancing with Jisung had become like a second nature to you and you had a tendency to get lost in your thoughts when you were working on choreo.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” Jisung said with a small shrug, “You do pull out further so it takes an extra beat to get back.”

The two of you tried the part again but this time, Jisung was able to flip you, leaving Jeno in amazement.

Jisung picked you up at the waist and you fell into a split over this head, your hands anchoring on his arms, what Jeno didn’t expect next was for you to slide forward before landing back to back with Jisung, your arms still interlocked and for him to pull you back upwards again before you landing facing him once more.

“My arms!!” Jisung whined once you did the part a few times, “Please don’t eat so much anymore. I may not be able to lift you up.” 

“Wow that’s so rude.” you said with your jaw dropped before smacking him on the arm, “You literally ate twice of what I did last night.” 

“And I’m also a growing boy.” Jisung said with a grin as he went towards the speakers, “Do you want to do the full routine? We’ll see how well it flows with the rest of the choreo.” 

“K,” you said, stretching your neck and getting into position.

Once the music started, Jeno felt like he was watching a professional show and now understood why he and Jisung were considered competition in the junior division.

Watching the two of you dance together reminded him of flowing water, there were some ballet notes in the mix but the song itself went between classical to modern. The two of you were so focussed on the other that had any of you looked the other way for whatever reason, the routine would’ve been messed up.

In the dance, there were a few lifts that he could tell took Jisung precise measurements to match and when the part that the two of you rehearsed came up, Jeno’s jaw dropped at the speed the actual flip and back went before the beat dropped at the two of you split off to different sides, only to come together again for the ending where your leg wrapped around his while his hand supported your weight and the two of you were breathing heavily.

‘Perfect.” you whispered.

“Perfect.” Jisung said as the two of you heard applause coming from the door only to see your instructor, along with half the class.

“That was amazeballs. I’ve never seen Jisung flip anyone EVER!” Jaemin said coming into the class with everyone else, “Were you guys here the whole morning?” 

“I just got here thirty minutes ago.” Jeno said as the three of you went to sit with him, “Apparently they’ve been here since 6.” 

“Yea...Hana said something about Y/N not being able to sleep last night.” Jaemin said with a slight nod, “I can’t believe you can still function.”

“I’m used to waking up at the crack of dawn for rehearsal.” you said taking a sip of the water Jeno gave you, “Our ballet training was always first thing in the morning and then our academic courses were throughout the day.” 

“Then our dance camp training started at 6am this past summer which is considered a sleep in to other groups but she was always up the earliest.” Jisung added and groaned, “I suffered so much.” 

 “ I never said you HAD to join me.” you stated crossing your arms while Jisung looked up at you but was actually watching Jeno’s reaction.

“Yea, but do you know how hard it already is to say no to you?” he asked and smirked inwardly at the reaction that Jeno had when the other boy cringed, “We would have activities till like midnight and then she’d call me at like 4:30 to meet her in the practice room.”

“And you still went?” Jaemin asked and Jisung nodded.

“Poor Hana would sleep till minutes before warm up and by the time she got to our warm up room, Y/N and I already spent close to an hour warming up and working on other routines.” Jisung said scratching the back of his head “Aish, I think I lost more sleep over the summer than I gained. I tried to say no once and I dropped Y/N on her face so I learned my lesson.”

“It was a bit of that specific routine actually.” you said, blank faced and with a nod, “The part where the flip was supposed to happen before it reversed, Jisung lost his grip one time and I landed on my face.” 

“Wahhh, but that routine was like flawless dude.” Jaemin said as Jeno nodded, “That was the routine that you two had to perfect in three weeks?”

“Yep.” you said with a nod and patted Jisungs shoulder, “Trust man...trust. All it takes is trust” 

When the instructor called your attention to the class, it was announced that partners would be picked for an upcoming project and you were surprised to find yourself paired up with Jisung while Jeno and Jaemin were paired. The objective was to create a routine with a song that the instructor chose and the class had three weeks to perfect and perform it in front of everyone. 

By the time lunch rolled around and you were able to meet with Hana, you were suddenly grabbed from behind and dragged away, much to everyone’s surprise.

“So this is what being kidnapped feels like.” you deadpanned when you found yourself in the arms of one Nakamoto Yuta, your roommates best friend, “And you are aware that I was with friends right?”

“They’ll survive.” he said looking back at the confused looks on all three boys, “Bitch, I had to look through the whole school for you. Why didn’t you tell me you were transfering?” he asked when he dragged you to his table with his friends and you were surrounded by ten other boys who looked at you curiously, “Guys, this is WinWin’s roommate he told us about, Y/N.”

“Ah, the infamous Y/N.” one of the boys that looked like a bunny said, “We’ve heard so much about you.” 

“Infamous?” you asked curiously as the bunny boy nodded.

“You’re close with Park Jisung right?” another boy asked, “He and Jaemins girlfriend talked about you a lot.” 

“Second day here and popular already. I’m impressed.” Yuta said with a smirk, “I only thought WinWin was exaggerating when he talked about you.”

“Well he certainly wasn’t exaggerating when he talked about you.” you retorted as you made eye contact with someone across the table and your eyes widened. Where was Jisung when you needed him? “But I should really go find my friends now. It was nice meeting you all.” 

“We have a performance for our group tomorrow at lunch.” Yuta said, “You should come check it out.” 

“I will.” you said before getting up to leave for your locker, not wanting to be around the group much longer.

You hurried out of the lunchroom while three others quickly followed at different times, some confused about the look on your face.

Since you weren’t looking where you were going, you felt yourself run into something particularly hard but before you could even think about hitting the floor, a strong arm wrapped around your waist and held you to their chest. You gasped when you recognized the scent and looked up to see Jeno looking down at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked as you nodded your head, “Where were you? We just saw you book it out of the lunch room…” 

“WinWin’s best friend found me. Apparently word got around that I transferred schools and now your whole club knows who I am.” you mumbled before a voice you recognized called your name.

“Y/N.” he said and you turned around, subconsciously keeping a hand on Jeno’s school uniform, if Jeno meant anything from last night and maintained the same temper he once had, this wasn’t a good situation at all.

“Yukhei?” Jeno asked, looking between the two of you wondering how you knew each other. 

“Jeno.” the other boy said with a gentle smile, “You know Y/N too?” 

“How do you know Yukhei?” he muttered down to you as Jisung joined the group.

“I thought I told you to stay away? You knew she was transferring.” he asked with a tilt of his head, completely ignoring the current conversation at hand and inwardly grinned when he saw Jeno’s arm around your waist with no intention of letting go.

“I have every right to talk to her and you know it.” Yukhei argued as Jisung cracked his neck and a smirk formed on his lips.

“With what you put her through during our first year of camp, it’s a wonder how she’s still dancing.” Jisung stated and you felt Jeno physically tense in front of you, “Was your punishment from last time not enough?”

“You know those rules don’t apply here Jisung.” Yukhei stated, “We’re in a different ball park now and you have no reign. You can’t tell me what to do like you did all those years ago.” 

“Ah...really?” Jisung asked and cracked his knuckles, “Are you sure about that?” 

“There’s no point in being afraid of you. You’d get kicked out of the club if you did anything. We’re on the same playing field now and that includes Y/N.” Yukhei said with a smirk and got in Jisungs face, “Like I said, I’m not afraid of you.”

Jisung chuckled, “And it’s not me you should be afraid of.” he said motioning to how you were holding Jeno back once he heard the words torment leave Jisungs mouth “Apparently they’re childhood friends, you know, the one he talked about a lot.” he smirked as realization crossed Yukheis features and you saw the look on Jisungs face.

You had to decide between holding Jeno back or running to Jisung so he would avoid getting punched in the face from making a snarky remark but you could feel Jeno tense under your hand as Jisung continued to speak and knew you made your decision.

“You’re lying.” Yukhei said uneasily, turning around to look at you but gulped at the look of anger on Jeno’s face. Even though Jeno was a few levels lower than Yukhei himself, he was someone who had a lot of respect from the older members of the dance club. Not only did he represent the junior team at nationals as their only soloist, he managed to take home first prize too which gained him school wide recognition. When it came to popularity, Yukhei was a nice face to look at but the talent was all Jeno. “Jeno man, we’re cool right?” 

“Depends.” he said, his face void of all emotion and you felt him tighten his arm around your waist and you knew he wasn’t thinking straight, “on what you did to Y/N.”

Eventually, Jeno let go of you and took a step towards Yukhei and despite the slight difference in height, Jeno could be intimidating when he wanted to be.

“And if I ever find out what you did to her. Then it’ll depend on how I feel when I find out. But stay away from her. It’s your only warning.” he said with a slight glare before going back to you and Jisung who was now at your side.

“What did I tell you?” Jisung whispered to you quickly with a small smirk before looking at Jeno, “Hana said she’d meet us at our third period class, shall we go?” 

“Let’s go.” Jeno said with a nod and the three of you left, leaving Yukhei watching as you disappeared down the hall. A strong frown evident on his face. His plan was going to be harder then he thought, especially if you had someone like Jeno on your side.

When the three of you walked into the class, a girl ran up to Jeno, almost literally pulling him away from the two of you.

“Jenoooo! Our instructor just posted a project that we have to work on and the course sheet says that we can choose our own partners.” she said excitedly as Jeno, who was still thinking about the situation earlier looked at her with disinterest.

“And?” he asked as you and Jisung joined Hana who was currently stretching on the other side of the room.

“Do you want to get a head start and maybe partner with each other? It’ll be like last years group presentation.” she said excitedly, “Maybe we’ll even get to compete in the school wide competition this year.” 

The girl in front of him, Lim Yeeun was part of an elite dance club outside the academy so naturally, anyone would’ve wanted to pair up with her and Jeno had in the past for practice purposes only. Next to Jisung, she was the only one who could match the intensity and skill he had but he learned quickly that she was only interested in distracting him from his main focus and he quickly ended whatever dance relationship they had before it even started. One, he wasn’t completely over you at the time and being around this girl just felt wrong.

“I’ll pass.” he said looking in the direction of where the three of you were laughing at something Jisung said and wondered why you suddenly leaned forward to pull Jisungs hood over his head before pulling the strings, making Hana crack up even harder, “The project doesn’t start for another few weeks so I’ll decide then. If you’ll excuse me.” 

Side stepping her, Jeno went to drop his bag at the back of the classroom where everyone else had their stuff before sitting himself behind you where you turned to look at the sudden intruder who squeezed themselves between you and the mirror but only smiled when you saw your somewhat friend and felt warm inside when he smiled back.

Yeeun stared at Jeno in shock. She swore that this was her year to make him hers. She knew that Jeno was aiming to win nationals the year before so she never pushed for him to make a move. He was a focussed dancer who knew what he wanted and it was obvious to everyone but her that she wasn’t what he wanted. She saw the smile that the two of you shared when he sat behind you and felt herself burn with jealousy. She even noticed that he decided to sit behind you in English as opposed to Jaemin which would have been conveniently next to her. What did the new girl have that she didn’t? 

When the end of class came, Jisung had pretty much spent most of the period making fun of you when Jeno wasn’t around and Hana had to join in on the fun too. 

“Oh, so do you want to know why she REALLY woke me up to warm up at 5:30 in the morning?” Jisung whispered to Hana as you all waited for Jeno outside the change room.

“I have an idea but what happened?” she asked giggling while looking at you sideways and Jisung whispered in her ear making her gasp. “No!!” 

“No what?” Jeno asked curiously as he came up behind the three of you and your eyes widened.

“Uh...Uhh..No! I refuse to be late for English!” you said suddenly as Jisung and Hana’s eyes both widened, both trying really hard to hold in their laughter, “Let’s go JenJen.” you said quickly grabbing his arm and more or less forcing him to follow you down the hall to your English class.

Jisung and Hana waved at Jeno who had turned to look back at them with a confused look but the three of them were sharing very similar thoughts.

Did she say JenJen?” they both asked as Jeno thought the same thing about his childhood nickname.

“See, I told you they’d get together sooner than later. He’s literally been in love with her for years.” Jisung said as his eyes saw Yeeun glaring at your backs, “But we may have another problem.”

“Yukhei?” Hana asked as Jisung shook his head before nudging his head towards Yeeun and Hana rolled her eyes, “Oh please. She may be a good dancer but the NCT club has their radar on her and knows that she’s more about the clout than anything. But if she does do anything stupid, it’ll be fun to set her in her place.” 

“You remember what she did to the last girl who tried to get with Jeno.” Jisung said, “If Y/N ends up hurt…” 

“Won’t happen. Jaemin said that Yeeun tried to use Jeno last year to win the competition but Jeno overheard the conversation and told her that he was going to participate solo. So as long as she doesn’t try anything physically, we should be fine.” Hana reassured.

Jisung nodded his head in agreement as he thought up the next part of his plan which actually may avoid him getting punched in the face.

[trenchcoatkitten]

So I’ve been reading Temperature of the Heart, and you’ve mentioned how you have the whole thing written already. Can you describe what that’s like? What’s your writing process? How long does it take for you to write everything start to finish? Do you plan it all out or just kind of wing it? How long do you sit in an idea before you start?? Sorry about all the questions, I’m just so curious >_

bro!!! are you sure i will scream about writing for days omg

first of all THANK YOU its so freaking cool that you came to ask your questions and that you like my writing, im still sort of getting used to my writing not just being garbage that i read in the dark at 2am and never share with anybody, and i am always excited to answer questions waaaah 

(THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG I APOLOGIZE IM PUTTING A READING BREAK IN CAUSE I WENT OFF BRO, IM THE WOOOOORST) 

my process is pretty weird, it’s kind of all over the place? I’m kind of a halfway planner halfway pantser. I have an idea and usually make some disjointed notes about character and the main idea, in my phone or maybe on a google doc, and then a pinterest board maybe? Something to get excited about, a visualization. I ALWAYS tell myself im going to make an outline first and then i ALWAYS just jump right into writing because I’m too excited/impatient to wait. give me words on a page. give me dialogue. 

Usually when I’m a little bit into the project, when i know that I’m not going to abandon it to the depths off where my WIPs go to die (rip like literally over 300 individual and unique works, this is NOT an exaggeration, you should see my document bank its gross) Ill say “ok fuck you sami its time to actually know where you’re going” and I’ll sit down and make the grossest outline you have EVER seen. like im talking, my outlines are littered with memes, me yelling at myself, actual stuff thats going to end up in the final project, and just general random garbage? its so gross. Ive literally only showed one of my outlines to one person ever (hi akira!) bc im super self conscious of them and hate the way that i write them. making an outline usually sucks up an entire day of writing. they’re pages and pages because some parts will be INCREDIBLY specific and other parts will be so vague you dont even know

From there, when im done with my garbage outline, (after going back through what I’ve written and fixing the shit that was just me going off like a psycho) I usually start writing in earnest. I’ll highlight the parts of the outline that I’ve done and I’ll go back and check it often to make sure im following through on my plans and the character arcs and such, making sure that everything ties in and such. This section is me like. every day getting home from work or whatever and sitting down at the computer and not moving until 2am, this is the section where i forget to eat and I dont sleep enough and i forget to drink water or take my vitamins and I do word sprints with myself and have days where I write 10 thousand words in one sitting. (very not healthy and also terrible i do NOT recommend) this is the section where I’ll handwrite anything i can in the back of classes and at rehearsals because im pouring out words.

during this section I go back and edit ENDLESSLY. i cannot write something and just let it be. I go back to the section I wrote the night before, I go back to the section I just wrote, i go back to the very beginning. I generally dont have to do 1st 2nd 3rd draft this way, but it is much more time consuming as Im just writing. i dont know if i reccommend this its a MESS

THeN once i finish writing the whole thing, i sit down and reread/edit the whole thing once through. this makes sure i have good flow, the paragraphs go together well, the prose feels right to me, timelines make sense. during this time i make ENDLESS paper notes with calendars, section notes, additions, drabbles, thoughts about my own shit. i have notebooks full of just garbage. im not kidding. full notebooks. 

Once I finish that read/edit through I’m usually happy. only once something is completely finished will I consider posting. I go back too much, I add shit, I can’t let go of shit, not until it’s done. While I’m posting - I go through the chapter I’m going to post with a fine tooth comb, try to catch any tiny little mistake, add words here and there, but never change anything large if I can help it. Then i format it on Ao3 (this is literal hell, fuck the HTML editor it wants me to die) and then post it. Deciding to post a chapter to actually hitting ‘post’ usually takes me 1-4 hours, depending on the length, the difficulty of formatting, and how many goddamn links i wanna put in the chapter notes cause im the worst~ (insert jean ralphio voice) 

~~~

LISTEN im probably super extra but I’ve been writing since I was in sixth grade (thats twelve years! time is an enigma and i hate it!) and so I have a bit of practice, i have a bit of experience and while I’m not the best me that I can be, I KNOW myself, and this is just what works best for me. 

As for timing - it depends on the length of the project and how motivated I am. It took me about a month to write Royal (~50k), just a little over a month to write All Might’s All Night Shop Stop (~75k), and just about two months to write Temperature of the Heart (~115k). I try to post every few days, because as a person I hate waiting and I don’t want to do that to my readers! 

~~~

As for the ‘how long do i sit on an idea before writing it’ it really depends. Some things I will receive inspiration or a sliver of an idea and start writing it in the next ten minutes, even if I have to stop working on something I’m already working on, because that was Brain Has Decided. Sometimes I will consider an idea for like. months before actually doing it. I’ve had the idea for FBoW (the newest thing im working on oops? have i told anybody about this NO cause that will make it REAL) since before I started Royal, which was like. Last november. But I just couldnt quite do it for some reason, and it wasn’t pressing. My brain is super broken, and a lot of times I get sick over ideas. I can’t sleep or eat until I’ve written, and I will repeat phrases to myself until i can get them out of my head by writing them down. (Sometimes this is something nice or poetic - “The golden hour lights up the whole world, wiggling its fingers into every nook and cranny, lighting up two people lounging on a bench-swing, someone leaned onto porch stairs with a mug of tea, the space between those walking down a dirt road, a couple of dogs laid out on the deck.” and other times its literally “Ranch Fiddlesticks.” I’m not kidding. i have a note in my phone that says ranch fiddlesticks because I was actually going to Die if i didnt write it down.)

I do wish my brain didn’t do this - but I guess it makes some fun art, doesn’t it? 

WOW OKAY THIS WAS SO LONG im so sorry jesus christ. SOrry i will ALWAYS go off about my process and what it’s like to write. Writing is so so important to me, I LOVE it with every tiny atom of my weak, alcohol-infused, overworked heart. Despite how scary it is sometimes I am very glad to be sharing my work with the world, seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing things about my words, hearing how this little picture in my mind has gone into yours. 

okay jfc im done now im so sorry. thank you again and again and again, a thousand times over, for reading my work and enjoying the worlds that i enjoy building. It makes me feel like I’m worth it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good. 

ily :’)

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 2

Last time, on Symphogear!

An adorable little girl, stood up by her date for a reasonable explanation, jams it out with her favorite pop duo, caught unawares that they are also a monster-fighting syndicate experimenting with the power of sound (the power to make you dizzy) to activate an ancient historical relic. Shit goes south as the jams prove to be too powerful, guaranteeing tragedy amidst an otherwise baller concert. Hibiki is rescued by The Bigger Of The Lesbians before she self-destructs to make sure the entire threat is neutralized, leaving The Smaller Lesbian sad, yet still incredibly gay. Years pass as our protagonist goes to Music School, for Music, to bunk it up with her girlfriend as she tries to figure out what the hell happened. Her prayers are answered when she tries to rescue a little girl and is promptly cornered, activating the same outfit The Bigger Lesbian that saved her had on. Gungnir Dattos all around, The Smaller Lesbian loses her shit as everything goes downhill from there.

Now, where were we?

...right. The piss beacon.

And the person taking the piss.

Hibiki has nary a clue what to do. Symphogears don’t actually come with manuals, you see. They’re sort of a “close your eyes and wing it” kind of experience. In Tsubasa’s case, it’s quite literal.

“FUCK that was COOL AS SHIT, tight as FUCKING HELL”

Take pity on this face. This is the face of someone who’s last memories will be a confused lady wondering why she is suddenly part machine.

“imma save you widdle kid”

Something to note about this show is that all the fighters sing while fighting. Hibiki is no exception, even after being confused about what the hell she’s doing. It helps that her voice actress is a professional singer.

It helps that every voice actress here is some sort of professional singer.

This picture basically summarizes why Hibiki is cool despite being so goddamned dumb. She’s angry, and she’s gonna protect some kids even if she dies doing it. Kanade would be proud, if she wasn’t too busy being dead.

No shit!

Have you ever watched the original Sam Reimi’s Spiderman? Like, the very first one? You know all those awkward scenes about Spiderman learning how his powers work? Hibiki basically does that under crunch time. There’s a long segment about how she’s forced to figure things out while protecting a kid and Not Dying.

It’s going pretty great.

I can’t believe she’s secretly Steve Urkel.

“cannot FUCKING believe that girl my girlfriend saved managed to GET HER HANDS on her FUCKING CLOTHES that I WANTED to ENSHRINE IN A MEMORIAL to her how the FUCK did she do that cant BELIEVE i have to SAVE HER IDIOT ASS because she just CANT EVEN DO THAT-”

Tsubasa, preparing herself as a contender for the World’s Angriest Lesbian, barrels through the Noise in her motorcycle...

...which she smashes directly into the Noise. It does nothing.

Tsubasa has many a motorcycle to smash. It’s a testament to her dedication following her aesthetic.

She fueled the tank completely before smashing it in.

Tsubasa... is petty.

As Tsubasa t-poses to assert dominance (a woman ahead of her time, this first aired in 2012), she comes down ready to kick some ass and vent some frustrations. And frankly? She’s all out of ass.

“oh my god she’s even hotter up close i cant believe it”

“fucking knock-off outfit looks like it came out of a bootleg flea market”

You don’t need to know what happens next, because you already know what happens when someone shows up with a fucking sword ready to sing about their dead girlfriend and the conflicting feelings about seeing her armor pop up again on someone else.

Murder.

Lots... and lots... of murder.

“we’re so fucking useless why do we even exist”

After Tsubasa finishes what could only be described as a massacre, we’re treated to how people clean up the aftermath.

“hey, you know, make fun of me all you want, but at the end of the day, im the one holding the vacuum cleaner, and you’re literally turned to dust, so”

Even this little girl knows shit’s about the go down. Got the tea and everything.

This is one of the minor characters of the series. She works for the 2nd Division. Who is the 2nd Division? You’ll find out soon.

“i didnt die! fuck yeah. today’s a good day.”

“OH WAIT NO-”

Hibiki learns that her outfit unsets after a while, like bideo game. Who catches her mid-fall?

Her new best friend, of course. Don’t be fooled by this look. Tsubasa tragically suffers from resting angry face syndrome. It is, unfortunately, incurable.

“i hate how cute she is”

Hibiki reminds her that this is technically the second time Tsubasa has saved her, which in the large scheme of things, seems incredibly innocuous for someone who escaped a major tragedy many years ago. Unfortunately, time doesn’t move forward for Season 1 Tsubasa. Not for quite a while...

The funny part is it doesn’t even hit her initially. She never actually saw Hibiki personally during that moment, so she actually doesn’t even have a clue what she means.

Look at her. Look at this clown. How could you hate her. Look at that smile.

All the survivors are always forced to write NDAs about what they saw. This grows to comical levels at times, given the scale of what happens eventually. It might as well be the world’s biggest open secret by now.

“aight homies looks like i gotta go home, the wife’s gonna be lonely an-”

Oh.

“sorry holmes but you’re going to gay baby jail like the rest of us singers”

Hibiki’s face is riddled with guilt. The guilt of someone who just saved a little girl. How dare you, Hibiki. This is what you get for doing The Right Thing.

And so she’s taken to “jail.”

“sorry pal but you literally turned into a huge weapon and you have no idea how to use it so!”

And so, Hibiki was never seen again...

Alright, so she really isn’t going to jail. She is genuinely being taken into custody, though. To be honest, this kind of handcuff procedure is sort-of ridiculous for someone who literally just saved children, and you could probably bribe her to join them with a 10 piece chicken dinner, but hey, fuck it. 2nd Division has protocols, and that is to arrest people.

“i cant believe i was a fan of a narc all this time”

The school has a giant elevator that goes deep into the Earth. Also, look at that symbolism. Hibiki’s the only one looking at her own reflection. Deep.

Thanks, Tsubasa.

The interior decorator for this elevator is wild.

Tsubasa forbodes where they’re all going as some ominous, strange, and evil place where joy and happiness die. Where good feelings and innocence are destroyed, and hope is crushed and ripped at the seams.

As it turns out, Tsubasa is just an angsty piece of shit.

So here’s the situation:

The 2nd Branch, which are the people in charge of poking relics until they glow with the power of music to study and harness the power of as weapons to kill the Noise, live in a several mile deep high tech basement of an all girl’s boarding school dedicated to music. This is because, for the record, that the girls recruited to this school have the habit of being a little bit attuned to these relics. Hibiki, a newly christened Gear user, is now being recruited into this organized by Genjuro.

“i never got this kind of party when i was recruited”

“thats because nobody liked you, hans”

“im skipping my soaps for this”

“fucking hate my twin brother hans”

“she?????? gets a party??? SHE. gets a party. I DON’T GET A PARTY. SHE... GETS A PARTY? and i dont get a fucking party. i was literally BORN into this job. NOBODY gives me a damn party. this MORON who CLOWNS AROUND with her SUBPAR SONGS. gets a party. oh my god. oh my GOD. FUCK. FUCK!”

“if this is what its like to get arrested i gotta be gayer and do more crimes”

“I’m not actually surprised. I’m just pretending to be. I’m just really not good at pretending to be surprised.”

“fucking hate this family, im gonna eat all of hibikis cake and cry in my room”

Remember: This show first released in 2012. Ryoko? Trendsetter.

Ryoko’s screen is very dirty and foggy. Don’t ask why. Don’t even remember why I pointed this out. Just forget this point completely.

Hibiki understands that handcuffs just aren’t fashionable.

Genjuro casually explains that they’re the fictional japanese equivalent of the NSA, all while doing magic tricks. Truly a man of many talents.

Tsubasa is already plotting how to vent about all this in her diary, which she addresses as letters of Kanade every time she writes in it.

Genjuro and Ryoko introduces themselves as everyone else apologizes to her, except Tsubasa.

Ogawa also intro- yes, I’m recycling a picture- introduces himself. He’s pretty cool, too, and serves as Tsubasa’s ninja bodyguard, butler, and all around mentor. We never get a backstory on him, and likely never will. It’s best to keep it that way; it only adds to the mystery of who the hell this guy is.

“weird flex but okay”

Hibiki realizes she’s being recruited, after being told she’s being recruited. Given some brain cells remain in her head, she asks the obvious and wonders what the hell happened to her.

“ryoko, care to explain?”

“well, it’s simple. you’re the protagonist now.”

Ryoko, who has no sense of boundaries, subjects Hibiki to a medical inspection. As creepy as her tone is, its to inspect the state of Hibiki’s newly formed gear.

She’s finally freed from that long winded event and returns home to her wife.

“buddy you smell like shit. and french fries.”

“hibiki. you’re not dead, hibiki. come on, get up. i just cleaned this floor, hibiki. hibiki, please. this is genuinely unbecoming of you. hibiki, oh my god.”

“miku please i learned how to kick ass and im tired and please let me enjoy this nice floor”

Tsubasa does the thing real life Symphogear and all related products never actually bother to do.

“god she’s so gay for her but i know she’d never cheat on me so”

Hibiki ruminates on the day she’s had. This is where the really dumb angst comes in. You see, Hibiki can’t tell anyone about what happened, and Miku, now a civilian in her eyes, cannot know about her alter ego Symphogear antics. Hibiki feels bad about this.

“y u no trust me. y u no tell me troof. im wife.”

After a brief heart to heart Hibiki smiles and snuggles her girlfriend.

They’re gay.

“im gonna marry her knowing full well she’ll sleep through the ceremony. god.”

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

i have so many theories!!! theyre all screaming at me!!! i must write out them all!!!!! 

so here’s one that’s been knocking around my head since finals week began:

the Writing 3 Playlist on Spotify 

I think this bad boy is a hint at the game’s timeline

maybe not 100% explanatory, but I think we can guess certain parts of the game through this

and i just wanna tell y’all now, almost all of this is speculation, as honestly im 90% sure the playlist was created bc it had borderlands-y songs in it (although the last few have me scratching my head)

lemme explain why im writing this, though I’m very thirsty for lore

tl;dr: game goes like this: lilith powers stolen. go to promethea, go to jungle, find brick mordy and tina, get into a fight, lose fight, go find other VHs, get into another fight, Krieg shows up to save Maya, maya die. (oh no she ded), the twins have their we are GODS moment, the VHs get summoned to the Eridian homeworld, there’s a huge ass final battle, someone attempts to create an end-of-the-world scenario

so the playlist itself was created to help one of the authors of the game get into their borderlands jam 

it starts with a Cage the Elephant song, “Trouble”, the band of which we all know wrote the first song used in BL1. Not really much else to say here, but we do know the opening cutscene of the game involves our current team of Vault Hunters being attacked by the Children of the Vault. this is, of course, not indicative of any songs used in bl3, but we can assume it captures the general feeling of the game.

Second song: “Fire” by Barns Courtney (holy shit I love this guy so fucking much!! if you’ve never listened to his music, PLEASE do so! I really recommend “Rather Die”- I am in the process of making a bl3 animatic to it actually lmao). 

So anyway, I’m just sayin’, the lyrics of this song...

“Oh, a thousand faces staring at me Thousand times I've fallen Thousand voices dead at my feet Now I'm gone... And my mother told me son let it be Sold my soul to the calling Sold my soul to a sweet melody Now I'm gone... Oh gimme that fire ...”

Honestly, I would not be surprised if this song was about Lilith’s loss of her powers. I mean, she used to call herself the Firehawk because she burned the shit outta bandits. c’monnn.

The man, the myth, the legend himself even says that "[The song is] quite defiant as well, like this cannot be how it ends, it cannot be my situation."

Mooooving on

“Majesty” by Apashe and Wasiu

holy fuck i love this song so much. and its so very obviously about the Calypso Twins- at the very least its Tyreen.

“All the stars and galaxies address me as your majesty So better say your majesty, I might react erratically Throw you in a fire, purify you I'm the sire, my empire's on the rise You better find yourself a place to hide Your place to find, but say it twice My name divine, I'm aimin' high Don't look in my face or eyes Take a bow and save your life Glory to the emperor, my temperature is risin' Always hot, it's getting violent”

I mean come on if its not when we meet the twins for the first time after they steal lily’s powers, then its definitely when they do something absolutely badass and really show us why they’re revered as gods. Possibly related to the Holy Broadcasting Center?

“The Way I Do” by Bishopp Briggs 

this one honestly had got me stumped as to its purpose, i lowkey kinda think its getting Sanctuary 3 up and running (and possibly meeting Maya for the first time- still not sure about that). I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a whole thing for Scooter and this song fits pretty well. I imagine we also meet Vaughn and the Children at some point, so maybe here?

“Greeting the Menace” by Zack Hemsey 

yeah i uhhhh dunno. This sounds like a song about a dude getting tortured which scares me a bit lmao. 

I thought maybe this song and the next 2 could be VH-based songs, as the next 2 have no lyrics whatsoever and the third is called “Best Friends”, but who knows... If this is the case I could make the argument this is about Zane or Moze, leaning towards Zane cuz he’s pretty covered up, plus I think “Best Friends” would be more Moze’s style lmao

I could also see this being a song about Troy... could explain all the ‘body mods’ and the missing arm.

“ProtoVision” by Kavinsky

If we’re going with the idea that these next few songs are about the Vault Hunters, then I imagine this would be Fl4k’s. It’s got that synth and some guitar which I think fits perfectly with his robo-hobo aesthetic lol

Other than that, I truly have no idea what part of the story this song could reference since there aren’t any lyrics. Maybe Promethea’s city? I could kinda see it, it sounds pretty high-tech

Similarly, “diatribe.” by Oliver Michael

the beginning gives me a whole meditation vibe which I kinda associate with Amara and her phasecast skill which “sends out an astral projection” of herself. 

Then again, this could be the outskirts of the Promethean city... I could see myself wandering around the huge ass foliage and discovering an abandoned research base to this song idk

“Best Friends” by grandson

aaahh i love grandson. I think this could be a Moze-based song. I just get that vibe from her leather jacket... anyway

I also could totally see this as discovering Brick, Mordecai, and Tina in the research base (if that truly is where they are). Cause we saw them in the trailer hanging out there. 

tbh the lyrics themselves kinda remind me of pre-Tales Rhys and Fiona and all their friends

“All of my best friends Like to go and get fucked up Then they talk about all the lives they never got to live Oh, they're still waiting for some sort of invitation It's never coming along, oh no, you'll get just what you give”

but idk if that’s what its meant for

“Bap U” by Party Favor

hmm another ‘lyricless’ song. not really lyric-less but uhhh the lyrics are pretty nonsensical lol

I could see there being a fight scene with Brick Tina and Mordy as AIs helping out here, maybe exploring the abandoned research base?

“Not Human” by elegant slims 

oh you know what im going to say here hahaha

monster troy p l e a s e

i wouldn’t be surprised if Tyreen started accumulating more powers here, like perhaps the previous fight scene was over the Vault on Promethea and the twins were able to access it before us? and Tyreen gives the Vault Monster the succ

“Crack in the seams You're breaking through The animal inside of you You're not human anymore... Your eyes go black electric blue The animal inside of you Life on a string Watch it swing Hide your teeth”

and one (or both) of the twins start going feral lol

“Way Down We Go” by KALEO

one (1) fear and that’s that someone dies during the scene that corresponds to this song

hopefully its just the boys being depressed over a loss instead of a victory, but oof

anyway, you know what they say: “sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big” ;) thats a typhon deleon quote

“I’m a Wanted Man” by Royal Deluxe

I want to believe these next few songs are us recruiting the rest of the Vault Hunters not seen yet

I kinda associate this one with Axton since his whole History with DAHL, but who knows! It could be Gaige, too. or Maya since she looks like she’s being incredibly gay criminal on the Maliwan Monastery planet. Maybe both Axton and Gaige? I would love that

“The Devil You Know” by X Ambassadors 

Could also be Axton! I lowkey think its Salvador or Timothy Lawrence. The reason I think its Timothy is cuz the whole song gives me huge Handsome Jack vibes, but it could also be Sal cuz I totally imagine him becoming a bounty hunter to fund his gun addiction lmao

“00000 Million” by Ella Vos

this one also gives off Maya vibes imo. I wouldn’t be surprised if this one is about her and the introduction of Little Blue. I could also see Athena and Janey here, just living their lives out in a cottage somewhere. awww

“Jungle” by Tash Sultana

Ahh a love song [pukes] Hopefully this one is about Athena and Janey, cuz there is a depressing lack of both of them in all the trailers we’ve seen! It sounds lowkey sad, though. I hope nothing happened to them D:

“Don’t Wait Up” by Dustbowl Revival

this one gives me very big Fiona and Sasha vibes. 

Of course, there’s also the fact that the song is about a dad, and we still don’t know who the heck “the Father” is on all those Calypsos posters. We also dunno who in the heck “Mother” is, either. Sounds like Father left the cult, though, oof, and Mother stuck around. Wonder what that’s all about, maybe he felt like the twins were working fast/efficient enough and left to do things himself? Very lost on this idea tbh. the song seems very out of place, but it has to connect to something, yknow?

“Dies Irae” by Apashe and Black Prez

For those of you who don’t speak fluent Latin (the fuck guys?? lmao jk), the title means "Day of Wrath". Nice, nice, nice. 

the lyrics, you might be asking:

“'Cause I'ma beast. Where you at? I've been unleashed. Whatchu doin'? Sink my teeth. Y'all can't fathom I'ma beast”

me: [vibrating in my seat] monster twins monster twins monster twins monster twins

at the very least this is definitely a fight scene here. Probably with the twins again (hopefully). Maybe they found some way to imbue the cultists with fucked up powers and are sending them against the VHs as giant demon things and as we fight through the temple (apparently with some Guardians) we realize the final one is Troy and/or Tyreen?

I like to imagine this is where Maya gets her powers stolen, if only because the next few songs... I think she’s around because she’s now the only person with Siren powers on the side of the Crimson Raiders, so they might need her help with the Vault in some way

“RAMPAGE” by GRAVEDGR

y’all wonder why I seemingly forgot about Krieg in the above songs? Well, this is why. 

The only lyric for this entire song is “Bitch, I'm on a rampage- mask on my damn face”

I mean come on, Krieg with his psycho mask on, the fact his action skill is literally called “Buzz Axe Rampage”, the fact he loves Maya as shown in his introductory trailer... it’d be so perfect. And I bet badass psycho Krieg would be the only thing able to beat back whatever’s attacking at the moment. I’m just imagining him smashing down a wall and going apeshit

“Black Out Days” by Phantograms

Another song I think is about Krieg and Maya. I don’t think Maya does too hot in this game, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she gets the Roland treatment if you know what I’m saying. I wonder if this causes Krieg to devolve back into insanity cause the whole song seems to focus around that. I hope not D:

“Hide the sun I will leave your face out of my mind You should save your eyes A thousand voices howling in my head Speak in tongues I don't even recognize your face Mirror on the wall Tell me all the ways to stay away”

To be honest I could also see it being that Maya gets her powers stolen and thoughtlock-ed by the twins to fight on their side (as she’s seen fighting with the big demon elemental things), and maybe we have to kill her or hurt her in some way to get her to stop attacking us. God I hope not.

Let’s hope this is someway about the twins and definitely not about our favorite Siren and/or Psycho

“The Finishing” by Stavroz

oof i think somebody dies... If its not Maya, my best guess is Krieg or Lilith. Maybe Mordecai or Brick? Oh I hope not, I love both of them way too much for it to be healthy. But, hey, at least Tina learned some coping mechanisms :(

“Intro” and “Apocalypse Please” by Muse

merged these into 1 because Intro is like 15 seconds long and is literally the introduction to Apocalypse Please. 

Definitely reaching the end of the game here... 

“And it's time we saw a miracle Come on, it's time for something biblical To pull us through And pull us through And this is the end This is the end Of the world Proclaim eternal victory Come on and change the cause of history And pull us through”

I think the twins (or whoever may have become the main villain- perhaps the Eridians?) have claimed victory/gotten the ultimate power in one way or another, and/or this is the Crimson Raiders getting themselves ready for a final stand-off with the big bad evil guy. 

I would really love if there’s a scene right at the end of this where the Twins have their huge “BOW TO ME” moment and then they just get COMPLETELY obliterated by a new villain. Just absolutely decimated.

New villain, like if they opened a Vault and whatever was being imprisoned there just wipes the floor with them (something like the Destroyer, if not the Destroyer itself), or fuck shit maybe even Tannis? or the Eridians looking for help in the war. or the Eridians bringing war. Who knows!

Again, could just be the Twins having gotten their hands on the end-game material, like realizing they can turn troy into big demon fuck (no i am not letting this one go) and we are kinda fucked now.

“Free Animal” by Foreign Air

I... have no idea lol

maybe Krieg getting rescued, maybe (one of?) the twins getting recruited by the Raiders for the final fight? It could fit into the ‘Beast’ imagery. Fuck, maybe even rescuing/finding Typhon or something? Idk, im kinda in the party that Typhon is going to be coming back some way or another lol, I’d love to meet the guy

“Dreams” by ZHU and Nero

This definitely sounds like a new BBEG has just been introduced or the big bads just entered the final phase of their plan, like the Crimson Raiders just learned about something life-changing and this is their “oh shit” moment

i wanna believe that the Eridians or another alien race (like the Seraphs!) are going to come in at the ‘end’ of the game and the Watcher is gonna be like “bitch did you really think I thought these dumbass ECHOnet streamers were the epitome of War??” I imagine we’d be on the side of the Eridians here, since y’know, the Watcher came to us for help.

Of course, the twins could still be the BBEG and have gotten their hands on that universe-destroying power that was described on the website (”to recover a map to ancient Vaults and prevent a universe-destroying power from falling into the wrong hands”) so maybe the Eridians called us in in order to meet and get help against the COV?

“Beyond the Fray” by Cassandra Violet

personally i think this one is about the Eridian homeworld

“I'll mark the day When we can meet beyond the fray Don't lose the will to see your home You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray I'll fight to see that you get home Consider this small clue Look beyond your point of view Make a space for honesty hide“

Wouldn’t even be surprised if someone made a sacrifice so we could get there... I imagine its hidden somewhere in the alternate dimension or wherever the Vaults lead to so it couldn’t be found, so maybe Lilith’s got her powers back at this point and she sacrifices herself to send us there?

idk...

“Outside the Realm” by Big Giant Circles

ah yes, another reason I think the end of the game involves the Eridian homeworld in some way. Have you heard this?? huge “we just stumbled upon a long-lost-alien-planet” vibe. I love it. Maybe even just a shot of Sanctuary III slowly gliding over the giant planet, having just exited phasewalk. God yes

“Battle Royale” by Apashe

another reason i think the final fight is some giant battlefield/wave fight instead of just against 1 or 2 enemies. not to mention the fact that the VH skills we’ve seen so far are crowd control based instead of raid boss focused. 

Its likely the VHs against the Cult of the Vault, but if we defeat the Twins halfway through the game, then the Cult will dissolve on its own. Either way, I really really really really really want a huge fight against an army. I don’t care if its against the Children of the Vault, the Eridians/some Guardians, or if its against the Seraphs or a new set of aliens we’re gonna get (maybe whatever the Destroyer was/is?). idk idc i just want a huge battle. I imagine we’re on the Eridians’ side, as I said above, but who knows, maybe the Watcher went rogue. 

oh and also, the next song:

“Doomsday” by NERO

oh hey, I recognize this song, it’s giving me major BL2 flashbacks lmao

Also the last song in the playlist, which is giving me the big fear (tm)

I imagine that we wouldn’t have been brought to the Eridian homeworld if it wasn’t kind of a huge deal, and what’s more of a huge deal than the end of the universe?!

that’s what i’d call doomsday, anyway.

could be the reason the Eridians are coming out of hiding after all this time. Either to stop our dumb human asses from opening the Vaults, or to get help against these alien fucks because our dumb human asses keep destroying their first line of defense- the Vault Monsters.

If the twins actually DO remain the main villains throughout the whole game, then I imagine this is them prepping to destroy the universe

but maaaan i really want some aliens... maybe the universe destroying power IS the aliens? aw hell yeah

[applesdrowned-a]

CHAD  AND  PATRICKS  RELATIONSHIP  IN  DEATH.

HERE  IS  WHY   CHAD  WAS  SO  FUCKING  SHOOK  WHEN  HE  HEARD  PATRICK  DIDN’T  LOVE  HIM.  AND  WHY  IT  TOOK  SO  LONG  TO  FINALLY  SAY  NO  BYE  BITCH.  everything  in  here  is  canon to  chad  post  death   unless  discussed  otherwise.   or  i’m  writing  with  a  patrick,  very  unlikely   - > i  can't  stand  it   when  you  touch  me  like  that.  'cause  it  just  reminds  me  of  the  nights  that  i  spent  telling  myself  it  was  fine... strangers  again,  against  the  current  

to  preface  patrick  was  many  things,  he  cheated  &  lied,  was  emotionally  abusive  &  just  an  asshole.  but  one  thing  he  never  did  was  tell  chad  he  didn’t  love  him.  he  fucked  around,  &  hella  abused  chads  trust.  but  at  the  end  of  the  day  chad  with  all  his  insecurities  clung  to  the  fact  it  was  only  sex.    IT  WAS   JUST  SEX  !!  thats  what  he  thought. i  have  yet  to  make  the  hc  about  the  whole  ‘  kiss  &  don’t  tell  ‘  policy  but  i  did  reference  it  in  another  post.  to  explain,  it  was  a  policy  chad  in acted  shortly  after  the  rubber  suit  incident.  now  despite  what  he  says ,  or  acts  otherwise  chad  is  very  much  heart  eyes  for  patrick.  even  after  patrick  embarrasses  the  fuck  out  of  him.   hes  not  sticking  by  patrick  for  sex,  hes  after  intimacy  &  companionship.  its  evident  in  his  actions  in  the  flashbacks.   ----  the  policy  is  brought  forth  because  chad  knows  hes  loosing  him  which  is  fucking  tearing  him  apart  inside,  so  he  thinks  proposing  patrick  can  have  sex  with  others  &  not  tell  him  will  keep  him.  he  thinks  he  can  win  him   back  well others  are  servicing  him.

so  to  state  again,  chad  was  in  love  with  patrick. 

NOW  TO  GET  INTO  THE  TOPIC:

in  death  things  were  not  much  better.  they  were  forced  to  relive  the  same  problems  they  faced  when  they  were  alive  but  amplified  x 2.  chad  &  patrick  ended  up  bonding  over  their  mutual  distaste  for  their  murderer,  &  flocked  together  for  a bit.    but  of  course  things  heated  up  only  days  after  they  died. on  halloween  patrick  left  to  go  search  for  some  D  leaving  chad  alone  to  blame  himself  for  everything  as  he  always  does,  drink  to  his  hearts  content  but  not  be  able  to  get  wasted.   when  patrick  returned  there  was  a  fight,  chad  yelled  &  screamed.  but  of  course  since  they  had  no  one  else  but  each other  &  chad  was  still  heart  eyes  for  his  boyfriend  he  didn’t  really  do  anything  about  it.

it  is  a  big  mess  before  the  harmons  move  into  the  house.  chad  eventually  gets   more  moody  &  insecure.  he  starts  ghosting  patrick  by  walking  away  whenever  patrick  is  around.  chad  well  still  desperate  for  his  boyfriends  affections  isn’t  sure  he  can  actually  maintain  a  relationship,  if  patrick  is  only  interested  in  him  as  a  last  resort.  its  imo  patrick  who  convinces  chad  that  things  can  be  better  in  death. 

&  this  is  what  starts  the  next  phase. 

ON  AGAIN  OFF  AGAIN:

chad   &  patrick  are  in  an  on  again  off  again  relationship.  its  constantly  changing  day  to  day.    you  don’t  know  if  they  like  each  other  or  hate  each  other.  there  is  always  fighting  no  matter  which  side  of  the  fence  they  are  on.  they  are  either  at  each  others  throats  constantly  or  have  their  hands  down each  others  pants. 

(   to  clarify  they  do  not  have  sex, because  chad  puts  that  up  as  a  boundary.   they  did  it  once  not  long  after  dying   &  chad  felt  extremely  dirty  after.  so  patrick  is  not  lying  when  he  says  its  been  a  long  time  in  halloween  part  1   )

their  relationship  is  a  cycle  of  being  kissy  kissy  &  then  yelling  at  one  another  over  lord  knows  what.  chad  is  always  the  one  to  call  their  break  ups.  &  usually  he  goes  running  back.  but  sometimes  its  patrick  who  goes  to  seek  chad  out.  its  damn  toxic.  in  every  sense   of  the  word.  -----  they  basically  break  up  &   make  up  a  lot.  

BALL  AND  CHAIN:  in  halloween  part  1  we  see  chad  &  patrick  on  the  front  law  of  the  house.  this  scene  is  taking  place  shortly  after  one  of  their  make  ups.  chad  is  getting  a  bit  bitter  &  annoyed  with  the  constant  make  up  break  up  cycle.  why  he  calls  patrick  his  ‘  ball &  chain  ‘  its  not  just  said  randomly ,  its  a  literal  reference  to  what  hes  feeling  about  his  relationship  with  patrick.  his  boyfriend  is  weighing  him  down,  but  he  can’t  help  but  keep  going  back  cos  he  can’t  break  the  chain.  hes  tied  to  him  in  every  sense  of  the  word. despite  this  chad  is  quite  catty  in  his  behavior  making  references  to  his  boyfriends  behavior  last  halloween  as  a coded  ‘  do  that  again  and  i  am  fucking  gone ‘  ---  but  it  is  very  much  a  bluff.  he  isn’t  ready  nor  does he  have  the  actual  drive  inside  him  to  fully  leave  patrick. HALLOWEEN   PART  2 +  AFTERMATH: as  we  learn  when  chad  is  outside  breaking  the  decorations,  patrick  did  leave  to  go  have  some  flings.  &  as  chad  said  “  all  i  wanted  was  one  night  with  my  guy,  some  crafting,  in  a  house  that  i  love  and  have  bled  for  “   he  refers  to  patrick  as  his  guy,  his  boy.  once  again,  anger  aside  hes  heart  eyes  for  patrick  still. when  patrick  returns  the  morning,  apologizing  chad  shoves  him  off  because  hes  done  with  patricks  bullshit.  hes  disappointed  in  him,  &  disappointed  in  his  own  self  because  he  knows  the  cycle  is  going  to  keep  going.  be  breaks  up  with  him  for  the  umpteenth  time.  but  after  a  few  days  of  constant  apologies  chad  forgives  patrick  &  they  get  back  together.    from  how  things  are  going  in  birth  i  am  going  to  interrupt  the  next  events  as  follows: after  forgiving  his  ex,  patrick   promises  to  never  sleep  around  again.  this  is  the  only  way  i  can  see  chad  taking  him  back  again.   &  they  have  sex.  chad  doesn’t  feel  dirty  after,  he  feels  kind  of  like  a  new  man  &  faith  is  restored  in  what  could  be  a  much  better  eternity  then  what  started.   chad  &  patrick  don’t  break  up  again  &  its  permanent  until after  the  events  of  birth.   BIRTH: finally  feeling  happy  again,  chad   purposes  he  &  patrick  start  that  family  they  wanted  to  when  they  were   living.   its  his  idea  to  steal  viviens  babies,  something  he  will  regret  later  on.  his  boyfriend  readily  agrees.  they  begin  to  decorate  the  nursery  often  taking  breaks  cos  they  simply  can’t  keep  there  hands  off  each other.  chad  is  ridiculously  happy. his  down  fall  &  his  ultimate  wake  up  call  was  hearing  that  patrick  had  fallen  in  love  with  someone  else  before  they  died.  hes  heart  broken,  you  an  see  it  all  outlined  on  his  face.  he  takes  a  second  to  pause,  &  realizes  all  his  fears  were  confirmed.  but  hearing  patrick  didn’t  love  him  ?  oh  that  just  really  was  like  a  knife  to   the  heart.   patrick  calls  out  to  him  but  he  doesn’t  want  to  here  it.  he  just  runs.  it  ends  in  more  apologies  &  more  broken  unrealistic  promises  that  chad  just  cannot  except.  he  spent  years,  trying  to  please  patrick.  two  years  in  that  house  alive,  clinging  to  the  belief  they  had  a  future.  one  year  alive, trying  to  keep  patrick  from  leaving.  &  all  of  his  afterlife  until  now  clinging  to  a  man  who  abused  him  emotionally,  &  mentally.  who  no  longer  loved  him. hes  got  more  self  worth  then  that.  more  self  respect.  &  so  he  walks  away  from  patricks  final  attempt  at  intimacy, because  hes  done  disrespecting  himself.    THE  HARDEST  THING  I  EVER  HAD  TO  DO,  WAS  WALK  AWAY  STILL  MADLY  IN  LOVE  WITH  YOU.   

i’m  doomed  to  spend  an  eternity  with  a  man,  who  doesn’t  love  me 

[convell4]

Qrows Ruby’s Father

Okay, First off, SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THE END OF RWBY SEASON 6, Second, I would prefer this to be a conversation and not an argument, so during this (probably long) post I am going to be stating theories, evidence etc but I am also going to posting the evidence against them, so its fair. At the end of the day this is all just theory making. I will state that I support this theory, although I have no problem with anyone who doesn’t. You believe whatever you want to believe, I’m not going to fight you over it. Finally, this post is going to basically be an essay as I am going to try put everything together that I’ve seen, their counter arguments and a bunch of images.

Point A

So for point A I’m going to state that throughout the series when it comes to the younger characters, they very much seem to follow the looks and traits of their parents, especially when it comes to what clothes they wear, what colours those clothes are generally their fighting style has at least some hints of their parents.

The Schnee Family

One of the best examples is the Schnee Family. As you can see in the picture the entire family has white hair (although I believe that WorstFatherTM dyed his), the same skin tone and in general they all wear smart, formal clothing that is coloured white. The entire family has also seemed to inherit blue eyes. Personality wise, Weiss began out as very formal, closed of from emotion and rather stuck up, which she likely comes from being in a very upper class, rich family. When it comes to fighting styles, we don’t have any information on whether either of Weiss’s parents were huntresses or had a fighting style etc, however Weisses family owning one of the biggest dust companies definitely contributes to her use of dust. It is also likely that Weiss chose her weapon and a lot of her elegant fighting style techniques from her older sister Winter, who she seems to have looked up to when growing up.

The Belladonna Family:

Next is the Belladonna Family. The entire family has black hair, blake has also inherited Kali’s ears and seemingly her long hair with bangs that cover her forehead. While from Ghira she has more seemed to inherit a sense of dress code when it comes to clothes that reveal a bit of skin. The family also have the same cat like, yellow eyes.Blake also follows the same color scheme as her family, With the White, Black and purple clothing. Personality wise, Blake has seemed to inherit the trait of wanting to fight for justice and rights for her race, just like her parents. She also has a strong sense of brotherhood when it comes to the White fang.One thing I however cannot connect are fighting styles, as Blake seems to be more of a rogue/finesse type of Fighter where as Ghira is definitely a head on brawler, Kali doesn’t really have a fighting style, she just hits people over the head with trays. 

The Ren Family:

Ren and his family. When it comes to inherited traits, from season 1-3 Ren has a similar short hair style to is mother, An, he has also inherited her pink eyes, however he has also inherited his dads, Li, black hair. From season 4-6 he has also grown his hair out longer and is now at least a similar length to what his fathers hair was. Rens personality definitely seems to have at least a bit of each of his parents, most of the time he is calm,collected and thoughful. Ren follows the colour scheme of his parents where it comes to the colour of his clothing, with the greens, blacks and gold-ish outlines. Ren has not seemed to pick up a fighting style from either of his parents, from what we know it seems like only Rens father was a fighter. However Ren didn’t inherit using a bow like his father. Personally I would put this down to that her didn’t have his father to teach him how to use the bow and he also didn’t like to look back on his past due to how terrible it was, so he likely learned his fighting style from scratch. The Xiao Long Family:

Like everyone else, Yang has inherited a lot from her parents. Yang has blonde hair just like her father but it seems to be a darker compared to Tai’s. This is likely due to Ravens hair being Black and making it a darker shade, her hair is also very similar to Ravens in both its length and style. Yang has inherited Ravens deep red eyes, but only when she becomes angry, usually her eyes are purple, which is a colour mix between Tai’s blue eyes and Ravens red. Personality wise Yang seems to follow more in Ravens footsteps, fighting more aggressively, using her anger as a funnel in fights. She has also seemed to inherit Ravens lighter skin tone and complexion. Yangs clothing colour scheme is very close to Tai’s with brown, orange and pale colours. She has also copied his red Bandanna like material wrapped around his arm, however choosing to wrap it around her leg instead. Her fighting style is definitely inherited from Tai, as we have seen them both sparing and training together, this is likely due to the fact that Tai was the only one around when Yang was younger, as Raven wasn’t present.

The Rose Family:

In the picture above we can see A LOT of Ruby in Summer. The short hair style, Silver eyes, Light skin. However from this image it does seem like Summers hair is a straight red colour, Where as if we look at Ruby, her hair seems to go from a Black to a dark red towards the tips of her hair.  Ruby even dresses the same with the cape and high cut clothing, The inside of Summers cape being a very similar red as to Ruby’s entire cape, outfit and weapon. Ruby even seems to inherit Summers petal effect, However we don’t see anything from Tai, there are no prominent inherent body features like skin tone, hair or eye colour (granted that the silver eyes are story driven and likely a more inheritable feature) Ruby also doesn’t seem to follow a colour scheme similar to Tai, nor wear similar clothing. However, if we look at Qrow..

Qrow has Black hair just like his sister with hints of grey throughout it. He also has bangs in front of his forehead just like Summer and Ruby. Qrows dark hair could explain how dark Ruby’s hair is. Qrows skin tone is also similar to that of Ruby’s, or it is at least a lot lighter than Tai’s. Clothing colours are similar with dark colour, especially black and red, The cape is also a feature of Qrow however Ruby’s cape is very must tailored to be like Summers compared to Qrows. When it comes to Ruby’s personality, ruby has been seen to be quite stubborn at times, but thats only when it comes to doing whats right. Its kind of thought that out of the four members of team STRQ, Summer was likely the Kindest, most bright person in the group, likely followed by Tai, this could go a lot towards Ruby personality as Ruby is always one who seems to be holding out hope and never giving up. Ruby’s fighting style is exactly like Qrows because he is the one who trained her, just like Tai trained Yang. This is likely due to not only Ruby wanting to be like her uncle by having the same fighting style and weapon, but also because Tai would of likely been busy training Yang in his fighting style at the time. This could also be down to Ruby being physically strong enough to be a brawler like Tai and Yang. Point A Summary: Every Character Inherits something from each of their parents, however Ruby only seems to inherit something from Summer and not Tai. Where as if you match Summer and Qrow together it makes a pretty good case on how Ruby looks and acts. Points A Counter Argument: As far as I have seen for a counter argument on this point, people point that Ruby’s fighting style has only come from her looking up to her uncle and following his steps, which does make sense. However so far I have not seen an explanation as to why she doesn’t seemingly have any of Tai’s inheritable body traits (feel free to tell me if there is one)

Point B

Point B is a quick and short one that has a really quick counter argument. Qrows song, Bad Luck Charm. Bad Luck Charm is about Qrows semblance of bad luck and how it effects the people he’s close too. The song in general talks about everyone near him, however there is one line, “ You don't want the burden of my name” that can be more turned towards someone a lot closer to qrow compared to anyone else, likely a family member. Taking on and using someones name, specifically their last name is most likely due to either marrying said person, or being their child. This continues on with the theory of Qrow being Ruby’s dad with the idea that qrow is terrified of his semblance and maybe even superstitious of it, Possibly believing that by even inheriting his last name, Ruby could be cursed with bad luck, let alone even being in Ruby’s life as a father figure.

Point B Summary:

Some Lines in Bad Luck charm could be giving hints towards such things

Point B Counter Argument:

Jeff Williams, the creator of the RWBY Soundtrack has stated that none of the songs are Canon material and they are just made by him from scratch

Point C

Point C is a continuation from point B, Qrows semblance. Qrows semblance is literal bad luck, not just to himself but everyone around him. And he no control over it. However he is close to is going to experience it. This has most prominently come up so far in his fight with Tyrian, but theres definitely other moments of it being shown. Because his semblance is uncontrollable, having anyone close leads to them having bad things happen around to them, this loops over to my previous point that if Qrow was around Ruby as a father when she was a lot younger, this could of caused a lot of bad situations. One theory that I’ve seen a lot is that Qrow may feel he himself is responsible for Summers death (leading him to become an alcoholic) and you could believe in this whether you ship Qrow & Summer or whether you don’t, the theory doesn’t rely on them being together. However, if we go with the idea that Qrow is Ruby’s father, being close to someone with such a semblance you believed led to the death of not only your loved one, but the mother of your child, would be no easy task. It would be an a lot better cause to keep your distance from the daughter, to try spare her from not only the semblance, but the truth at what Qrow believes the cause of Summers Death

Point C Summary:

Qrows Semblance makes qrow not want to be near anyone, but even more specifically Ruby due to the possibility he believe his semblance had a hand in Summers Death

Point C Counter Argument:

Qrow could still feel responsible for Summers death even if Qrow was not in a relationship with Summer. This goes the same with him trying to stay away from Ruby as much so that he doesn’t effect her life.

Point D

Point D is about the 3 photo’s we see of Team STRQ, but mainly about Qrows photo in particular.

Tai’s home photo:

As you can see, Tai’s home photo of the team is in pretty much pristine condition and is framed, there’s no markings on the photo and it doesn’t seem to have suffered any type of damage. Where as Qrows: 

Has definitely seen a lot more use. For starters the colours on the picture have began to fade, likely meaning its been out in the open air a lot or at lead has been looked at a lot. The material the picture is on is also bent meaning its likely always carried in a pocket or something similar, which makes sense as Qrow is not the type of person to settle in one singular spot. Next is the ring over Summer, this is likely to be either a glass or bottle ring from where they have been places on top of the image. Specifically the bottle or glass would be covering Summers face, which could suggest that Qrow doesn’t want to look at Summer or maybe even can’t bear to see her (this goes back to him feeling responsible) Next are the droplets on the page, I believe these can be seen as one or two things, tears or drink stains. If drink stains, it could mean that Qrow has been looking over the photo while he’s drunk, or even looking at it may have started causing him to drink even more. If they are tear stains then it could be seen as a sign of mourning, grief or regret, and Qrow covering up Summers face becomes even more meaningful. Point D Summary: Qrow carries around a damaged picture of team STRQ which shows a lot of connotations that he has dealt with some emotions over the picture Point D Counter Argument: Qrow could just be sad about the collapse of his team, or solely over Summers death.

Point E

For point E I want to Solely talk about Qrow and his line of work. Qrow is likely considered a master huntsmen. Due to the clan he was born in he has been trained almost all his life to not only fight Grimm, but also other people as well. He is highly trained and likely a major threat to almost anyone he faces, he is also affiliated with Ozpin and has been working with him for years. As he does work with Ozpin, this essentially puts him on Salems kill list as one way or another he is a threat to her plans. We also know that Salem will do pretty much anything to make her plans successful, so if qrow was found to have a daughter, who also happened to have Silver eyes, its likely that Ruby would of been targeted by Salem a lot sooner, most definitely when she was younger. This would of destroyed the possibility of a silver eyes warrior getting in Salems way and hurting qrow in the process Point E Summary: Qrow would of stayed away from due to his line of work so he wouldn’t put her in danger Point E Counter Argument: The Same can be said whether Qrow is Ruby’s father or not

Point F

For this point I want to talk about the timeline between Yang and Ruby’s birth. From what we can tell from the timeline we’ve been given, their births goes in an order similar to this: Tai and Raven are together - Yang is born - Raven leaves - Tai goes through grief and evidently gets with Summer - Ruby is Born - Summer dies  According to their ages, Ruby is between a year and a half to two years younger than Yang, I believe, according to their birthdays, they are 1 year and 8 months apart. Now this is where my knowledge gets a bit Hazy so please forgive me, but I believe it takes 9-12 months to fully conceive a baby. Which means that within 8 months, maybe even less, Tai moves on from someone who he loves and had a child with, to someone else and then also has another child. Personally that seems very out of character for someone lie Tai but then that also could possibly come down to the stages of Grief. The 8 months also drops considerably when you consider that Raven most definitely wouldn’t of left home directly after giving birth to Yang. If you consider that it can take up to or over 2 months for someone to recover their full strength after giving birth, Raven may have not left for 3-4 months, which means Tai would of have to gotten with Summer with 4-6 months, which in my mind is rather ridiculous.  Point F Summary: Tai would of had to move on very quickly and thats a very shitty thing to do Point F Counter Point: I can’t think of one for this tbh, let me know if you can

Point G

Qrows Closeness to Ruby, For point G I would like to talk about how close Qrow is to Ruby, this is kinda a hit or miss point as it depends on each individuals persons opinion. However, I believe I and a lot of people who think of Qrow being Ruby’s dad, think that Qrow is a lot closer to Ruby then he is with Yang. Which could seem odd since Qrow is physically blood related to Yang. Of course Blood doesn’t mean everything, however from what the show actually gives us, Qrow and Yang don’t even have that many direct conversations and when they talk with each other someone else is usually present (Qrow, Yang and Ruby playing video games comes to mind) Where as Qrow and Ruby have definitely had several personal and more alone conversations comparatively. This shows that Qrow is definitely a lot more in contact with Ruby over Yang

Point G Summary:

Qrow is a lot closer with Ruby than comparatively to someone who is blood related, like Yang

Point G Counter Argument:

This could be due to Yang being older, Qrow may feel he needs to support Ruby more than Yang due to her being Younger, Yang also has a close relationship with her father Tai, meaning she likely doesn’t need to converse with Qrow in such ways often.

Point H 

I wanna leave point H up to @anthurak with their amazing post on what happened during Season 6 and what Qrow and Ruby’s relationship is like in comparison to other parents https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/anthurak/182407206555

My Counters to what people say against this Theory:

This is just going to be a bunch of stuff I’ve seen written against the theory that I’d also like to discuss.

“Monty, Miles & Kerry have all debunked this theory” - True, that does mean its not likely to be cannon, however there has been cases in the past where creators will say something will not happen and it eventually does. But, whether it happens or not. Its still no reason to fight over it, just let people be, ship what they want and theorize what they want.

“Why would they add this? it seems unnecessary to the plot” - Personally I don’t think any kind of character development is unnecessary and anything that changes the character in some form is welcome. But just as an example if it was revealed that Qrow was Ruby’s father, we could have several things like these:

It could lead qrow and ruby to have more heart felt conversation, including a deep conversation about Summer

It would take the weight of the secret of both Tai's and Qrows conscience it could lead qrow to taking more adult responsibility and further his journey of not going back to the booze.

It could make Ruby and Yangs relation even stronger because it says "we'll still be sisters even if we're not related"

It would bring conflict along with resolution. Conflict: Ruby finds out, it makes her question a lot of things and look for answers Resolution: She ends up confronting Qrow about it, learns more about his and summers relationship, why the hid it etc. It could also continue on with Ruby telling Tai that she know sand they go from there, or even telling Yang and they have a conversation about how it doesn't change anything about them being sisters

There’s a lot of possibilities that could lead to great character development and could make characters a lot more conscious of their choices.

But yeh, thats about all I got so far. If you read the entire thing then I very much appreciate it. I felt the sudden urge to write this after getting my first ever Tumblr hate mail, so thank you random anon! If anyone wants to have Conversation about any of this with me, whether you believe the theory or not then I am more than willing, as long as it doesn’t turn into a rage contest.