#even if i'm different even if i don't fit in then i don't care

[woso-dreamzzz]

Injured (Alexia's Version) IV

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: You need perfection

TW: eating disorder, self-destructive thoughts, unhealthy thoughts about weight and size, self-harm through dance

There's a reason the ballerina body is thought to be unobtainable.

It's because it is.

Even to the dancers.

Perfect feet. Perfect legs. Perfect waist. Perfect stomach. Perfect face and hair.

You didn't have the perfect feet. Your arch wasn't quite perfect. It was close but with the right shoes it looked perfect.

Your legs weren't quite perfect either. You think one of your knees bulges weirdly and one leg is the tiniest bit more muscular than the other. But that can be hidden under your tights.

You don't like your waist or your tummy. You're different to your Mami but you're built a bit like her. She's built like a football player where she doesn't need to care about her waist or her stomach like you did.

You could fix your face with makeup and your hair with product but you couldn't fix your biology. You couldn't fix the way you've developed.

When you were younger and still at ballet school, the older girls passed down one line of wisdom to the younger girls.

If you weren't thin enough to fit between the space of the barre and where it's mounted on the mirror, then you're too fat.

You know now that that's too small of a gap for anyone to fit through without tucking in their tummy to the extreme. You know that now but it's still embedded within you. It still haunts your every step, a looming figure in the shadows that will one day catch up with you.

Some of the other dancers smoke or vape to keep their figures but you took the more classic route.

It was easy to cut breakfast out. A protein bar sufficed as your lunch, maybe a pre-packaged salad as well. You would eat dinner because that was a family meal and, while you were desperately trying to keep your figure, you knew that eating at least one meal a day was good.

It worked like a charm though and soon your stomach shrunk to the point that having one meal a day was all you could stomach.

"Why are you still asleep?" Jaume asks as he throws himself onto your bed," It's nearly dinner."

You groan, poking your head out from your blanket cave. "I was napping. I'm allowed to nap."

You've been napping a lot lately but you're used to that. Whenever you start cutting out meals, you feel the need to nap more to conserve your energy.

"Mami told me to come get you," Jaume replies," Dinner's almost ready."

You pull the covers off before freezing.

"Jaume," You say," Are you wearing your dirty football boots? In my bed?"

He grins. "Yeah."

"Get out!"

"Oh, come on, it was just a joke!"

You smack him in the face with a pillow. "I'm telling Mami!"

He scrambles after you, trying to stop you from making it down the stairs.

"She's lying!" He cries out, skidding to the dinner table just as you arrive.

"Jaume wore his dirty football boots in my bed!" You announce and Alexia sighs.

"Just one day," She says wistfully to Olga," That's all I ask. Just one day of no arguments."

She scolds Jaume lightly over the meal and you pick at your food.

Alexia watches you out of the corner of her eye. This meal is your favourite but you're pecking at it like you're a pigeon.

"How was dance?" She asks.

You shrug, grateful for the opportunity to talk as you push the food around your plate. "Good. I'm going back in after dinner. I'm going to practice my solo."

Olga frowns just like Alexia. "You've been doing that all week. Don't you think you need a break?"

"It won't be for that long," You lie," I want to get it perfect."

Perfection has always been a big part of your life. If you have perfection then you've proven your worth. If you have perfection then you cannot be replaced.

If you perfection in your dancing, in your body, then everything will be good and right in the world.

If you have perfection then you'll never be forgotten again.

Alexia watches you, eyes narrowed before she starts helping Olga clear the table.

"Jaume," You hiss," You want this?" You offer him your plate.

He glanced over to where Olga and Alexia have their backs turned.

"Give."

You scrape the rest of your food onto his plate before getting up quickly.

"I'm heading to the studio," You say.

"I'll drive you," Alexia says.

"I'll walk." You're actually planning to jog. "I want to grab a snack from the store on the way."

There's a reason Mami hasn't found out yet. You've gone back and forth on this for years. Cutting out meals before a performance only to introduce them again a few weeks after. You know exactly how to play her.

It's easy to slip away just like it's easy to dance and dance and dance until your feet ache.

There's something about pointe work that you love. It's a hard discipline. Nobody outright loves it like you do. You don't think they'd understand why you love it.

You love it for the wrong reasons.

You love it because it makes your feet hurt. You love it because it makes you look good even when you're falling apart. You love it because it makes you feel perfect even when you know you're not.

You love it because it's the quickest way to make you bleed.

Your chest rises and falls as you feel your toe pads grow wet with your own blood. Your vision is full of spots and you can barely see yourself in the mirror.

All you can focus on is your next move and the pain in your feet.

All you can do is dance and dance and-

You're on the floor the next time you blink, feeling groggy as your stomach rumbles. You catch sight of yourself in the mirror as you crawl your way over to your bag, shakily unwrapping an energy bar.

You pull off your pointe shoes and toe pads.

This is so normal to you now that you don't even think about the fact that you just blacked out.

You eat your snack, drain down your sports drink and wrap plasters around your bleeding toes as you dial Mami's number.

She picks up quickly, like always. You can imagine her just sitting at home, waiting for your call.

"Bambi?" She asks as soon as she answers," What's up?"

"Can you come and pick me up?" You ask," I'd like to come home now."

Alexia's already grabbing her keys. Her shoes are already on. She's already out the door.

Something's up with you. She knows this. She just doesn't know what it is. But she knows she'll always be ready to pick you up. Always want to bring you home herself.

You look pale and shaky as she pulls up and, like usual after practice, your bare feet are out of your shoes. They're covered in plasters.

"Did you get your snack?" Alexia asks," You look a little pale."

"I did," You reply," I was just dancing a lot."

"Hmm," Alexia says," You know you can talk to me, right? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," You say.

"Good. Just...Good. You're a good girl, bambi, and I want you to come to me if you need to talk, alright?"

"I know, Mami," You say with an eye roll.

Alexia holds your gaze for a moment before nodding. "Good. Now, your brother wants a milkshake. Do you want anything at the drive through?"

Your tummy rumbles.

"A meal then," Alexia decides before you can protest," A burger I think. Greasy."

You wince. "Mami-"

"You gave half your dinner to Jaume," She says suddenly," I'll split the meal but it's non-negotiable."

It's fine, you think.

So long as you get to practice early tomorrow, you can work it all off.

[kyracooneyx23]

would you be able to write something based of Kristie's tiktok with her and sam where sam comes in and shows off the ring but r is kristie?

6ft 5 - Sam Kerr

Sam Kerr x lionesses!reader

summary - you're filming a tiktok video and Sam wants everyone to know your hers

You set up the phone on the bathroom sink, adjusting the dress you were wearing before crouching down to press play. When the sound plays you lip sync to it applying some lip gloss at the same time.

'I'm looking for a guy in finance,' You begin standing up straight and moving around slightly 'trust fund, 6-' Your cut off by the door opening and your fiancée Sam comes in from behind you. She must've heard the sound as she gives you a slight nudge to get you out of her way as she walks up to the camera and shows off her engagement ring.

You laugh at her actions continuing to lip sync to the sound but you can hardly say anything as your laughing to much. When the video ends you grab your phone watching it replay still giggling at Sam's actions.

'Wow baby,' you say feeling Sam's arms wrap around your waist as she stands on her tiptoes to place her head on your shoulder looking at the video 'you really had to show off that ring.' You laugh.

'Had to show everyone who you really belong to.' She whispers into your ear making you shiver. 'Not some silly 6'5 guy with a trust fund.' She states pulling away from you and walking into the kitchen. You follow behind her eyes still glued to your phone as you post the video captioning it with a simple 'let's be honest' knowing the fans would love the rare Sam content. Once finished you turn your attention back to Sam.

'I mean your definitely not 6'5, more like 4'5' You give your fiancée a cheeky grin, her being much shorter than you was something you always made sure to tease her about.

'Shut up, I'm only a couple inches shorter than you, not my fault your whole family is giants' She groans leaning into your side. You stroke her head jokingly.

'It's ok I love you no matter your height.' You tease her placing a light kiss on her forehead.

'I think it's time to go, we've got a booking for 6 and the ubers almost here.' Sam tells you, and you can tell she is sick of the topic of her height. You agree following her out of your apartment to outside, waiting for your ride.

lt was nice to be back with Sam, neither of you had really liked the long distance relationship when you had played for Barca and she was here in England, it meant you hardly got to see each other except for the shortest of breaks you had. Your move to Arsenal had come as a surprise, all the fans had expected you to sign a contract extension with the team you had so much success with but you didn't care you'd do anything to be with Sam. Especially after she had proposed and your wedding was coming up.

For the first time in a while you had time just the two of you, as she had sustained and ACL injury and you had fractured you're foot. Both of your international teams were off on camp meaning you had a well earned break together.

The uber arrived and you both got in the back. You checked the video you'd just posted seeing it had already gone viral everyone commenting different versions of the lyrics that more fit Sam's personality, you found a few funny ones and read them to Sam as she didn't have tiktok. 'babe.' you say grabbing the Aussies attention.

'mhm.'

'These are some of the comments the fans wrote from the video.' You tell her and watch as her face slightly pales.

'I don't know whether to be scared or not.' She says causing you to laugh as you chose some of your favourites.

'one of them said looking for a masc in football, 5'5, trust fund,' you laugh at how short they thought Sam was, knowing that would not make her happy. 'oh this ones even better i'm looking for a girl in football, Chelsea, 5'4 brown eyes.' You watch Sam tense up.

'These people clearly know nothing about football, if they were true fans they'd know I'm actually 5'7.' She says grumpily and you crack, laughing so hard that tears threaten to fall.

'Chill Sammy, its just height nothing to be so defensive about.' You tell her. She sighs and you give her a side hug, she buries her face in the crook of your neck placing soft kisses everywhere, mood completely changing from before.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

After a nice dinner out with Sam, you decide to drop a photo dump form your night, making sure to include the video from earlier. Making sure to tease her more.

yourinstagram just posted

liked by keirawalsh, hayleyraso and 76,540 others

yourinstagram fun night with my little shorty 🫶🏽 @samanthakerr20

view all comments

samanthakerr20 I am 5’7 for every smart ass about to comment x 😘

user1 y/n is definitely making fun of her

katrinagorry midget

samanthakerr20 shut up

user70 Looking for a girl in soccer. Sam Kerr. Captain. Backflips.

view more comments

[angel5ofp0rn]

just a thought ! will prob delete 🫡

bodyguard!ghost x f!reader

(the beach episode)

It’s your annual family trip to Bora-Bora. Normally your boyfriend and his family comes along, but for some reason that you don't actually care about, they're not coming.

It's just you, your parents and Ghost the bodyguard.

While at the airport for a layover, you’re at some little airport gift shop with the bodyguard behind you, as your parents wait in the exclusive airport lounge.

Ghost is currently behind you, watching over you as you peruse the store. He's just standing there in silence, keeping a close eye on you.

Every now and then he keeps glancing over at you, his eyes taking every inch of you in as you look around.

You give him a little smirk before turning back to what you were looking at.

You’re excited to get to our destination; your parents don't really do anything as a family, it's mostly a vacation for themselves. That just means Ghost and you will have a lot of free time together...

You grab two little pink and purple string bracelets and pay for them with your dad's credit card. When Ghost and you step out of the gift shop you hand him one. "Here."

"Hm?" He looks down at the bracelet and examines it. "What's this for?" he asks as he looks back up at you.

"They’re friendship bracelets." You shrug, putting yours on. You just think it's funny to have matching friendship bracelets with a big, scary bodyguard.

He gives you a roll of his eyes at this. “Do we really ‘ave the sor’ of relationship where we can call each other ‘friends’?" he asks, stuffing the bracelet into his pocket.

"Fine... They're matching bodyguard-client fuck-buddy bracelets." you shrug as if it makes no difference to you.

"Bloody hell..." He grumbles.

About 5 hours later, Ghost and you are lying on the beach at the resort.

You’re in a little white bikini, your belly button piercing visible even if Ghost is blatantly avoiding looking at it.

The bodyguard currently lying on your oversized beach blanket next to you, with his legs bent and his hands behind his head as he watches the water.

He's in his usual attire of a black t-shirt, jeans and his balaclava.

While he's relaxing and everything, his eyes still keep glancing over at you here and there in the corner of his eye so that you don’t notice.

"I can't believe you're wearing jeans at the beach." you mumble, your eyes closed behind your sunglasses.

"I'm always on duty..." He responds. “Can't exactly wear a speedo f’r my work attire.”

"Your giant Johnson wouldn't even fit in a speedo."

The second you say that, his cheeks burn at the mention of his big dick.

"I'm gonna get you some trunks from the gift shop." You announce as you stand up. "Watch my stuff."

You’re already walking away before he can protest.

You return with a pair of black trunks and two cold beers.

"Here ya go." You grin as you hand him one of the bottles and the shorts.

Ghost shakes his head, but does accept the drink.

"Get those trunks on." You urge him after taking a small sip of your own beer. "And lose the mask, too."

"Christ,” He groans. “Why?”

"So you can finally get some color." You tease him with a little grin.

"I'm fine with th’ way I look..." he mumbles.

"C'mon." You whine a little, your lips pouting. "You don't have to be on duty right now. You can just be on vacation... With me."

He takes another small sip of his beer before finishing up his thoughts. He can't seem to find the words to say in protest. Eventually he sighs. "Fine..."

You smile triumphantly as Ghost stands up and walks towards one of the little changing booths along the beach. He comes back a while later with his jacked upper body visible now that he's wearing the trunks.

"There... happy?" he says with a roll of his eyes as he returns to his spot next to you.

He sits down beside you again and sips on his beer again.

You sit up and straddle his lap, facing him. "I wanna see you." You slowly lift up his balaclava, revealing his whole face, scars and all, when you toss it towards your beach bag.

His cheeks grow quite a bit red as he looks over towards you, and as you remove his balaclava, he seems a bit breathless as you keep his full face exposed like this.

You cup his face and plant a kiss on his now-exposed cheek, unfazed by his features since you’ve been privileged enough to see them from time to time already.

He lets out another small groan as you plant a kiss on his face, and he wraps his hands around your waist as he dodges your attempt for a kiss on the lips.

He keeps a hold of your waist as you sit on his lap, though. His eyes just staring up at you, watching you carefully.

"You know better." He finally speaks, his voice dark and husky.

"Still worth a shot." You grin cheekily.

He’s meant to protect you, not be intimate with you. You just make it hard to resist.

But right now, to anyone else on the beach, you’re just a regular couple enjoying vacation together.

After a bit you get off of his lap and lay out on the beach blanket so you can get a tan.

He seems to be observing you as you apply tanning oil and lay out again, and he doesn't seem to realize that you can see him just looking out at your body as you relax.

"I'm so glad that Corey's family decided not to come this year." You yawn a bit.

His gaze just continues to wander over your body, from your thighs to your hips to your bellybutton piercing and finally your nipple piercings that are visible beneath your triangle-shaped bikini top.

"I think he's cheating on me." You mention casually. Boredly. "Or planning on dumping me."

His gaze stops moving over you once you mention that, and he seems confused by you mentioning that.

"Huh?" he murmurrs, finally speaking back up. “Wha’ makes you say tha’?”

"Well, he's not here." You state like that was an obvious factor.

"..." he sighs. "And you immediately jus’ assume he's cheating or is going to dump you because of this?"

"Well, yeah." You shrug. “Plus we didn’t have sex last time we were together.”

"Wha’ if he jus’ wasn't in the mood?" Ghost snorts.

"He's a twenty five year old guy. He's always in the mood."

"... Fair point." He mumbles as a response.

"Plus, he always flirts with other girls..." You sit up and take a sip of your beer. "Not like I care."

"You don’ care that your boyfriend flirts with other girls?" He sounds somewhat curious about your reasoning when he asks this.

"Well, I'm fucking my bodyguard."

He lets out a heavy sigh when you say this, as he puts the beer up to his mouth to sip on it. He's... not sure how he expected you to answer, but this answer definitely wasn't it.

"You’ve gotta stop blurtin’ it out like that." he finally responds after taking a small sip of his beer again.

You just shrug with a small smirk.

"Such a fuckin’ brat.” He takes another sip of his bottle of beer, but he does keep a hand on your thigh during this.

"You're gonna give me a weird tan line." You frown, swatting his hand away.

"I can't help it..." he mumbles back, before quickly grabbing your hand before your swatted hand can go too far away.

He lets go of your hand and puts his own hand back on your plushy thigh, squeezing it a bit.

You sit up and swat some sand at him.

Ghost simply sighs as some of the sand hits him, and he lets go of your thigh for a moment in order to cover his eyes with his hand.

"Stop that." He warns you as some of the sand falls down from his fingers.

"Or what?" You tilt my head to the side in mock-oblivion.

You squeal when he swats sand back at you. "Hey! I’m so going to get you back-“

"Or, I could always just do this." He says, before putting his hands back around your waist once more, and using his other hand to grab your thigh again as he pulls you back so that you're sitting back in his lap. “There... much better."

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his jawline.

Ghost lets out a soft groan as he keeps you in his arms, his hands feeling up your thick thighs as if he's just re-affirming the fact that he has you on his lap now.

His hands slowly start moving up your thighs again, getting closer to your ass, almost just barely giving you a squeeze.

"Y’r so fuckin’ gorgeous..." he finally mumbles under his breath. “Your boyfriend doesn’t deserve you anyway…”

"Hmm... the nose job helped." You murmur, rubbing your hands over the front of his chest and his shoulders.

He lets out a soft groan as you run your hands over his chest, but he still just lets you do it. "Nose job?"

"Mhmm." You nod.

"Price let you get a nose job?" he asks, still sounding surprised as he stares at you.

“Daddy paid for my nose job.” You confirm with a nod.

Ghost snorts; it makes sense. Your father, John Price, has always spoilt you and would bend over backwards to make you happy.

He then raises one of his eyebrows as he speaks again. "Did it hurt getting it done?"

"Soo much." You pout your lips. "Kiss it better."

He chuckles before he leans in, giving the tip of your nose gentle little kisses. “Better?"

"Mm... I might need a few more."

Surprisingly to you, Ghost actually chuckles a little bit. He leans in once more. "Well... I can't deny a pretty girl's request..." he says with another smirk, before he proceeds to go right back to kissing on your nose, then your cheek, then your neck.

It's so different, being with Ghost instead of Corey...

Your boyfriend comes off as a nice, well-mannered, well off guy, that your dad would be proud to call his future son-in-law… But in reality he's just a spoiled, rich fuck boy.

Ghost seems like this big, scary, rugged tough guy... and he is, but when it's just him and you…

Everything feels right, despite how wrong it really is.

[deepouterspacecandy]

Random things nobody talks about:

The fact that Abby not only has a basketball hoop above the garbage can in her apartment, but she also sometimes misses the mark when she throws stuff away. This somehow makes me adore her character more.

Sure, it's possible Manny is the culprit. But it's cuter if it's her.

What if she blurts out adorable things like, "Wait, seriously?" and "Oh come on, I had that one!" or just an amalgamation of bad words? Maybe all disgruntled, she blames it on her bad shoulder.

Can we make it canon that it's her fault there's trash outside the bin? Cool. Best Fandom ever.

Also, I just know in my gay little heart that Abby does in fact see Mark or Ash for that after hours gym key. That is, if she doesn't already have one of her own. Does that make her even less deserving of being hated by anyone, ever? Yes.

It's a rule.

If you don't believe me, keep scrolling.

WLF Rule #5: Thou shalt not hate Abby Anderson.

And finally, I think it's kinda awesome that Mel and Abby are both natural caregivers. Mel is a healer. Abby is a protector. They are such different people at their core, but they both care deeply for their community. Despite some of their later interactions, they give a shit about each other too.

It's in the little moments, you know?

Okay and this is so random, but in the scene where Ellie chases Nora through the hospital, there is a bench with a barbell and weights. Blink and you'll miss it. I did, hence needing a different photo for this one because I wasn't fast enough for a screen capture. LOL.

But does that fitness setup belong to Abby? Checks out, since she's definitely the type of gym rat who doesn't take rest days.

Other soldiers use the equipment, of course, but did Abby lug that stuff all the way from the Humvee to the hallways of the hospital on some random rainy afternoon? I'm willing to bet all the coins.

This was silly and fun. I hope it made you smile. Okay, bye! 🚀✨️🌙

[foldingfittedsheets]

okay follow-up ask to the bed thing: pillows?

I like the mattress I have, it molds to my body in a good way and offers good support, but I CANNOT find the right pillow. I use 2 right now depending on if I'm sleeping on my side or back (I have chronic pain and sleep poorly, which causes a lot of reshuffling and switching from side to back to other side over and over). I hate the overly fluffy pillows, but I feel like the foam ones squish down so quickly they only last maybe a couple of months max, and even then it's not ideal.

Any suggestions? I would be so so grateful 🙏

Okay, but you have to take this with a huge massive grain of salt, because pillows are SO personal. Not only that, our bodies get used to shitty pillows and switching to good neck support can suck in a very major way.

My pillow tips are as follows:

For side sleepers, this very quickly googled image is the exact right idea. If you can, test pillows on a bed like your bed at home and have someone check your spine. (I can't actually say if every mattress sales person will be competent at this because most of the ones I worked with didn't care so bring your own person if you can)

The right pillow should fit the gap between your head and your shoulder to keep your spine level. The best ones I've found for this are solid memory foam, and not that money is everything but if it's about $70 that's usually where the good foam starts. Stay away from polyfill and down.

Back and stomach sleepers will typically want a lower pillow than side sleepers.

I personally really love my tempurpedic symphony pillow. The quality has declined over the years but it's the exact shape for me, and each side is a different shape for back or side sleeping. If you sleep warm Technogel makes a freaking amazing cooling pillow in a few heights. It's really spendy but damn it's a cool pillow.

Lastly, if you find a good pillow get a waterproof protector. Also for your bed. Waterproof protectors on all your bed shit! Nice ones breathe well and don't feel plasticy but we are creatures made of water between sweat, drool, accidents, and dust mites for the love of god get a protector on everything.

[vikkirosko]

Hello

Can we get a platonic hc of Vaggie & Orphan Cannibal Kid Reader?

Instead of a random cannibal kid during Extermination Day when Vaggie fell, it's us, parentless readers, and we're just following her where ever she goes.

I also want Rosie to be there, somewhere, but I'm not exactly sure how she would fit in, if you want to give it a shot I'll appreciate it, of course you don't have to. ^^

❌ Vaggie x kid!Reader platonic headcanons Orphan cannibal 🎀

For Vaggie, the sinner she spared was originally just a sinner, but she didn't expect this kid to be by her side while she was in a state close to fainting. Charlie found the two of you and helped Vaggie with her wounds, and you followed her. When Vaggie finally came to her senses, she was very surprised to see you, as well as the fact that you apparently became attached to her and did not want to leave, even though you knew who she really was

At first she tried to convince you to return to your family, but as it turned out, you didn't have a family. You were an orphan. However, the more time you spent together, the more she became attached to you, starting to act like she was your older sister. But there was a problem that she had to figure out how to deal with. You were a cannibal and you still needed food. That's why she went to cannibal town with you

In cannibal town, you brought her to Rosie. She took care of you, knowing that you don't have parents, so she was worried when you didn't show up for a long time, but the fact that you found a family genuinely pleased her. Rosie, who was like a caring aunt to you, was glad that you were okay. Vaggie tried to explain that there was a misunderstanding, but looking at you smiling happily, she did not dare to say something

You and Vaggie went to cannibal town once a month to buy food for you, and even when you started staying at the hotel, it was your tradition. She took care of you and you followed her around. You, Vaggie and Charlie were a real family. You weren't sure if you believed that sinners could atone for their sins, but you wanted to support those who were dear to you and despite the fact that you were a kid, you were ready even in battle to defend the hotel and those who lived in it

Your parents died a long time ago and Rosie was the only one who genuinely cared about you, but now everything was different. You had Vaggie, who became your family, and thanks to her, you also got new close people. Although Vaggie didn't understand how you could get so attached to angel, you knew that she was good, because you were alive only because of her

[noxtivagus]

i'm gna make that spam account tonight maybe ehe

[presiding]

a doctor turned serial killer turned doctor again, an actor who paints, a gang leader, a mining baron, and a vice overseer walk into the room.

oh yeah and they lead karnaca now.

dishonored 2 is my fav game but i think it's mid, story-wise. here's why dh1 works and why dh2's overarching story sorta misses

tl;dr: story integration is critical for gameplay that offers audience payoff, but emily's personal arc from dishonor to honor is inconsistently demonstrated in the story, and is not an interactive part of the gameplay.

essay/long version under cut >

recap: what's dishonored's deal

[skip if you want] dh1 is an underdog story: corvo is an honorable man swept up in the machinations of a callous city, so his canonical ending being 'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation being restored in a more hopeful city, due to his & the player's rejection of the violent connotations of the tagline 'revenge solves everything.'

similarly, in dh1 DLCs, daud's story arc is that of an anti-hero: a dishonorable man who realises too late he has done irreparable harm. he sees the error of his ways after a single monumental death, and eventually a single life redeems him when he/the player stepped in to circumvent a terrible fate for a child, enabling her to rule unfettered.

daud & corvo come to a satisfying conclusion within the extent of their narrative arcs. it doesn't matter that a child on a throne isn't really a fix for a decaying empire - the player's actions throughout the city of dunwall was what mattered - and these stories could be framed as parables. in that sense, young emily as a ruler is a metaphor for a hopeful future for the city & empire.

dishonored 1 & its DLCs are also great examples of storytelling with perfectly integrated gameplay - you, the player, worked towards the outcome that redeemed the protagonists.

in your efforts to save young emily, you either achieved a good outcome (corvo) or prevented a worse outcome (daud).

bringing us to dh2 -

what's emily's arc

emily's arc is a coming of age: we're introduced to a reigning empress who questions her role & skillset ("am i the empress my mother wanted me to be?"), then her titular fall from grace occurs. from there, she learns to reject the violent, selfish connotations in 'take back whats yours' tagline (a la daud & corvo!) while rediscovering why her rule is critical to the empire.

emily's rule is no longer metaphorical, but:

a literal thing for audience assessment (is emily a good ruler?) AND

the crux of her storyline.

at the beginning of dh2, emily is introduced as a disengaged leader ("i wish i could just run away from all this;" "i dont know if whether i should sail to the opposite side of the world, or have everyone around me executed"). the antihero has a precedent for the dishonored series in daud, so it's not at first glance an issue*, however, the fact that emily has ruled poorly reframes corvo & daud's endings as being less than ideal (a moralistic retcon) *we could talk here about how ready an audience was in 2016 for a flawed women as a protagonist, hell, even in 2023,,,

throwback to the beginning of this essay when i said:

'this child will rule over an empire' isn't about the child's rule but rather about corvo's reputation

emily's story arc, unlike for daud & corvo, is literally about the quality of her rule. we're no longer in metaphor territory (ironic phrase): a parable-style ending doesn't work.

does emily become a good ruler

we know she becomes a good ruler because the game says so. it is narrated to the audience via a (literal) word of god in the space of 30 seconds, after the final boss. the outsider tells us that emily becomes known as Just & Clever.

drawing a distinction here - this narration is not the same as the player actively being involved.

the player does not throughout the game become aware that emily has made political allies. during the game, she doesn't talk to these characters about saving karnaca or being a better ruler to the empire (there's a few lines might imply it, but you need to be actively looking and being careful to wait for every voice line. it's a far cry from daud & corvo's fight to save emily being unmissable - even though daud doesn't know at the beginning that's the goal).

how does the game show it

you can coincidentally not kill most of your subjects and never be aware that emily is looking to restore karnaca by means of instating a council - it's never brought up. it *couldn't* be brought up, because that council serves under the fake duke (armando), who is the last person she speaks to before she leaves for dunwall. its her suggestion that he rules karnaca, but armando's condition is that he will rule as he sees fit.

to back up a bit, emily's canonical method of restoring karnaca is by banding together key allies - hypatia, stilton, [byrne &or paolo], pastor, under a council beneath the duke's body double. they are passionate people who would each individually make worthwhile advisors, but if you think about those characters sitting at a table trying to reach an agreement, it feels like an assortment of people that emily didn't kill along the way and doesn't feel organic (up to interpretation). it's not stated if emily herself banded this council together, but logically she must have (worth a mention these are mostly characters that you as the player had reasonable rationale to kill during a high chaos run, except pastor). the underlying concept may be that karnaca's power is returned to its people - which is interesting given that the monarchy remains and armando's decision is final.

this overarching solution could also be taken as a critique to dh1's 'put your kid on the throne,' which is another reason its worthwhile looking at how emily was shown to be a better leader. obviously my point isn't that her solution was bad given the circumstance, but i mean she has very little agency here in all. if emily was shown to be more controlling as a leader, this could be interpreted as character growth, but that's not the case.

coming of age

how do you learn & grow when you can't specify your failings? emily doesn't really touch on her shortcomings as an empress. she non-specifically worries delilah makes a better empress than her. it's hard to argue her worries are meaningful when someone good at their job will still worry when lives are in the balance.

emily's best 'aha' moments (eg. crack in the slab comment about gaining perspective) are consistently undercut by a conversation with sokolov or meagan afterwards in which she demonstrates she hasn't learned anything (before the grand palace, emily condemns 'toadies sucking up to me' and is reminded by meagan that she's part of the problem). the story is confused about what it's trying to say about emily's progress, and when she's meant to show progress, if she was meant to show any progress at all. it could be argued that emily was never even a bad ruler, she had just been fed misinformation about the problems in karnaca and been the victim of slander by her political enemies. the game doesn't make this clear - it's easier to argue that the opposite is true given that her allies only have criticism.

worth a mention here that the heart quotes about armando - a fake ruler - interestingly mirror emily's character concerns. "see how he sighs? his life is a gilded cage." but this essay is already long.

while corvo & daud spend their games (and through the gameplay) 'earning' their redemption, emily is being led by the NPCs around her to a conclusion and a fix for the political mess in karnaca: meagan & sokolov guide emily to her missions, and there's no recurring quest for emily to investigate possible allies. she is able to gather the people she hasn't killed to herself by manner of... post-game narration. during the game, she's primarily concerned with getting her throne back.

an easy fix: if there had been less dialogue & narrative focus on emily's failings perhaps the ending would have felt more satisfying. it has the feel of cut content, but i don't know what was cut to be able to comment on it.

so what went wrong?

i can't help but wonder if arkane were worried they would lose a certain demographic if corvo wasn't playable (may have been deemed too much of a risk - 2013 was a different time), and so they had to take out story elements that were unique to emily's growth as a character/empress, because the usual storyline/gameplay integration had to work for both characters - in other words, gameplay that made sense for both corvo & emily was prioritised before emily's story & character development. which is a silly problem to have in a game that added character voices for the sake of improving characterisation - maybe emily's tale would have felt more akin to a parable if she had less lines that betrayed her ignorance (to the disdain of those around her).

i wish more care had been taken with emily's story. most players will never really notice the large variety of different endings - they're not particularly satisfying in and of themselves.

it's ironic that one of Emily's complaints is about her father/protector being overbearing, when his (parallel universe) presence in the gameplay may be one of the reasons her own narrative arc falls flat.

what are the upsides here

changing tune from what didn't work - don't you think the concept is fantastic? it's a great idea overall - can you imagine if the coming of age storyline was better integrated into the game?

it's valuable to talk about the integration of story and gameplay and characterisation from a craft perspective. dh2 genuinely is my favourite game - it's beautiful, the imm-sim design philosophy makes the world a delight to explore, the combat gives endless creative options for tackling any fight, there is a far greater diversity of cast in an in-text canonical way. there's loads to love!

i love emily as a dodgy leader, to me it adds interesting dimensionality to the outsider's narrations - of course in dunwall there's never a neat happily ever after! emily, like the outsider, both work well as characters who hold ultimate power but aren't necessarily worthy of it - and this makes perfect sense for the dishonored universe's morality & critiques of power. however, within this grey area there's still plenty of room for a satisfying ending, which isn't what we ended up with, whatever the true reason for that was. and also, damn, emily's a marked assassin empress, if she can't lead well then who can?

while dh1 was criticised for its narrative simplicity, dh2 in contrast and in hindsight shows us that simplicity isn't so bad - there's satisfaction in gameplay achieves a clear, simple narrative goal.

[svtskneecaps]

yknow what with the strife building between forever and bad and the ripple effect that might have on the server at large i think now is the perfect time to fridge bad. go touch grass, mr boyhalo, it's time to see people either fall apart or come together without you. bc listen. listen. when the dms are bumpin with 'bad can you ___' every thirty seconds. sometimes you just gotta steal badboyhalo and see what the fuck happens. i just want to know.

and i also want bad to slEEP GODDAMNIT

[dreamlogic]

[lovinnelily]

Y'all do know you can't make Jason be NOT white without changing his whole character, right?

For other characters, yes, because their physical appearance are not that influential in their story, on how they are viewed by people, on their personality formation — you can have a black/asian/indigenous/arab/brown/latino/etc Nico and yes, the hate he gets will have a undertone of racism but at the same time nothing significant on his story, motivation or personality will need to change. This is also true for other characters: Clarisse risks repeating the "aggressive WoC" stereotype but the character itself doesn't change.

This isn't true for Jason, whose main character trait is how he is perceived by others and how he showcases himself to others based on that perception. (specially with how little effort Riordan put on him besides making him perfect-er Percy who's somehow also weaker and less important than him).

Let's not pretend a black, Arab, indigenous, Asian, Latin man, etc, in the USA would ever be treated with the universal reverence Jason gets from New Roma, you can't have the illusion of perfection and most of all, of invincibility they have about him when you see him suffering racism or xenophobia in the middle of a mission. Nothing in his life has ever gone wrong, that's his image, destined to be king, he is supposed to have no weakness on his peers eyes.

He is not trying to prove people wrong, he is trying to prove them right; he isn't worthy despite their prejudice, on the contrary, he only tried to make himself worthy to fulfill their expectations. He can't be a woman or an immigrant or have a visible disability or any other thing that strays him from a perfect ideal by western society standards, and be that same character.

[tiffanybluesclues]

Every week someone makes a post about how annoying it is that Dick Grayson fans don't acknowledge his flaws, and every week someone replies with an explanation that the flaws OP listed are entirely fanon and inconsistent with canon as it actually happened and at this point I have to assume that none of those explanations are ever going to stick because clearly some people just want the fanon to be true.

Anyway, I'm just putting this here for me to edit and add relevant-to-the-topic links later so I'll have them nicely at hand to read and sooth my frustrations when it gets real bad out there. (Echo chambers are good when we use them to drown out character mischaracterizing fanon.)

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

[mechahero]

//i lied. here's another one.

[solradguy]

I came to terms with the Sol kinnie thing months ago now because honestly who gives a shit, but every now and then I'll find myself in a situation where I wonder if whatever it was I was about to do was/is a pre- or post-Guilty Gear interest lol

[dan-crimes]

I gotta complain abt being a picky eater here for a sec cuz I'm lookin @ all this stuff on the breakfast menu and there's always the SAME ingredients in all these SAME food items and it would be SO much easier if I could just order food without having to think of all the stuff I DON'T want on my food cuz I always gotta put in so much effort to look into every single ingredient in every since food item that I order bcuz I DON'T LIKE MOST FOODS !!! SMHH !!