#even if she is ‘impure’ and she has made mistakes and hurt people

[tragedykery]

screaming at the top of my lungs TANÉ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok that’s all

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

🩸 BG3 Villains as Yandere Types 🩸

TW: Yandere; Mentions of Abusive Behavior

...

Gortash: 

Possessive. Gaslights. Authoritarian. But oh so convincing. He can make you agree with him on anything, everything. He’s so smart, insultingly so, and he’s worked so hard to get here. He just wants what's best for the people, and what’s best for you. Don’t you see? Why fight him? He’s just trying to help. There are so many foes out there that would harm him through you. You need to trust his expertise. You need his protection. That’s right dear. Just listen to whatever he says. After all, he knows best, right? 

Orin: 

Sadistic. Cruel. Monstrous. She loves watching you bleed- literally and figuratively. The fear in your eyes, the way the blood rushes to your head- it spurns her on further. She enjoys all your twisted screams and pleads as she carves her mark into you. But don’t worry, pet. She’ll let it heal. It’s not like you don’t have more skin to mark elsewhere. But do not become numb to her torture. If you’re not a fun plaything anymore, she will get rid of you. There’s plenty more of you, there’s only one of her. You should give Bhal your praises, for gifting you with his chosen daughter’s company. Enjoy it. While it (you) lasts. 

The Emperor:

Calculative. Protective. Intelligent. He can read your thoughts, he knows you better than you know yourself. He has a roadmap to your psyche, you can bet he uses it. He’ll tell you what he knows you want to hear. He tells you what to do to stay safe. He’s so adept at reading people. He’ll make sure you know the truly debauched and evil intentions of everyone else around you. In the end, if it ends up he’s the only one you can trust. Don’t get upset, since he’ll feel that too. And you won’t want to hurt him like that, right?

Mizora: 

Dominant. Seductive. Manipulative. She’s the puppet master who intends to tie you up in her strings. Not by direct force. No, she doesn’t need that. She’ll wait til you’re isolated. Till you’re vulnerable. Then she’ll offer her services, looking like a savior, only to reveal once it’s too late she’s carnally a devil in disguise. But where could you go, pet? You made an agreement. Trust me, you don’t want to back out on your word. Your fate tied to her is much more pleasant than whatever torture you’d be subjected to in hell. Trust me dear, just follow her every instruction and keep her pleased. 

Raphael: 

Possessive. Sadistic. Insecure. He’s the overpowered bully on the playground. The one with the upper hand. He knows you’re not on even ground, and that’s how he likes it. Deep down, both of you know, you’re stronger than he’ll give you credit for. But that just makes him lash out all the more. Defy him, and he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you who’s in charge here. He loves your fighting spirit, however. Not because he wants you to keep challenging him, but because he loves breaking you down piece by piece. 

Kar’niss: 

Delusional. Explosive. Devout. He exists to worship the absolute. And now that he has you, you will be forced to as well. There’s no reaching him. The voices in his fractured mind cannot be reasoned with. He is volatile and unpredictable, lashing out over the little things, his outbursts will keep you on your toes. But play along with his delusions, and he’ll worship as second only to his Queen. He’ll be soft. Until you slip. Because of course, you will. He’ll find it in you, an impure thought. A mistake. He sees failure in all other worshipers- you are no exception. Escape if you can because your soul and most importantly your mind, cannot make it out of this arrangement in one piece. 

Ascended! Astarion: 

Possessive. Vengeful. Antagonistic. He was a slave before, never again. Now he calls all the shots. He makes all the decisions. Of course, he may have a soft spot for you. But you are not equals. You are his. You belong to him. He will degrade you, then reward you as he sees fit. He does spoil you. But you have no autonomy. No mind of your own. You are simply a pretty little doll for him to dress up and play with. This is your future, your eternity. A life of subjugation under a former slave. How ironic. 

Godhood! Gale: 

Jealous. Distrustful. Sensitive. He remembers very well what it was like to be on the losing side of an unjust relationship. Like Astarion, he’s decided to never let things get that way again. Here, he has the power. The authority, the control. He knows what’s best. You cannot dismiss him, or diminish his feelings. And although he promises to never minimize yours, you know he’ll rationalize away any one of your feelings he doesn’t agree with. He’s not cruel. He loves you. He needs you. You cannot leave him. He cannot be hurt again. For your sake, and the sake of the world, do not ever rebuff him. There’s no telling what he might do. 

Absolute! Tav: 

Power-Hungry. Cutthroat. Self-Serving. They see it all as a means to an end, and that includes you. No matter who you are, no matter how you’ve come to grab their attention, do not mistake this interest as worthiness. You are of no importance, merely a novelty at best. One in a million, you best hope you stay interesting enough to interfere with. Otherwise, you’ll be tossed in the scrap pile with the rest of the mindless humans, being contorted and twisted to do their will. 

… … … 

A/N: Oops. Went to post this and realized I left out Ketheric. My bad. Maybe I will edit and update to include him in the future. 

[new-tella-us]

So this is a part 2.

I'm not really into the "Yandere" genre anymore, I used to be when I was younger... which is a little concerning but hey everyone goes through a "toxic love" phase, hopefully. But my old obsession gives me some knowledge of how it's written.

Yandere Damien...oh boy.

Here's my idea as I don't see too many people pull this. What if the brothers were included in his possessive behavior. Now, of course, the brotherly love he has for his family is not the same as the romantic love he has for Mika but the results can be similar.

He's made himself entirely dependent on his brothers and Mika, unable to see a world where they eventually part ways. Now for Mika, that's not too much of a problem. She isn't leaving him and she's mainly safe. No, it's his brothers that start the first crack in his breaking point.

They're falling in love and that didn't bother him but, they're now considering moving out. They're leaving him behind. They're not leaving him alone but he won't see them everyday anymore. How can he confirm that they're safe if they aren't close enough for his mindreading to work? The one good thing about his powers is that it confirms that everyone he loves is alive.

The second crack happens when he made the mistake of visiting the Pink Lady Cafe. It was a special event that Mika wanted all the boys and their girlfriends to come to. They had a maid theme and all the employees dressed up in their most flattering outfits. At first, it was fun but then Damien's mindreading made him peer into the thoughts of the men around him. Many of their thoughts were... impure to say the least. Many of their impure thoughts were directed at Mika and it made Damien's blood boil. If it weren't for his self control, he would have probably attacked some of the ones with the worst thoughts.

The third and final crack would come from the actions of those around Mika. Friends always asking to hang out, family taking her away, work always asking Mika for overtime. He could barely see her anymore and she looked so exhausted. Always complaining about how the other employees would call in sick, knowing that she would pick up their slack or how classmates like Lisette wouldn't participate in group projects, making her so frustrated. Damien ignored all the good times Mika had with others to feed his confirmation bias that she was secretly miserable. And it wasn't just her, small relationship or job issues his brothers had turned into huge red flags in his mind.

And then, he made up his mind. He would remove these stressors from their lives. He's not a violent guy, he wasn't going to hurt anyone. But slowly, one by one, each brother was calling for a fun brothers' day. And every time that happened, they never came back. Mika quit her job and stopped going outside too.

Everyone, the girlfriends, the friends, Mika's parents, hell even K tried to figure out what was going on. But Damien is a very good actor. Anyone who asked got the same answers. "I don't know where my brothers are, they aren't answering their phones", "Mika doesn't want to talk to you". And sure enough, when Mika's parents finally stopped accepting Damien's answer, he got Mika to parrot what he said. She yelled at her own parents, telling them to not contact her anymore.

Meanwhile, when the doors finally shut, all of Mika's "anger" faded into pure terror at the man that just made her isolate herself from her friends and family. She sits at the dining room table with all the other boys as they are forced to act like how life once was. Not even their thoughts were safe. They forced themselves to block out all their negative thoughts to seem like they agreed with Damien inside and out.

And from Damien's perspective? It's all in their best interest, and maybe one day, they'll agree. After all, memory is fallible, and if you think something enough, you'll be convinced that it's true.

Annnnnd I'm done with yandere stuff for a while

This was part 2 of 2

Here's part 1

[thirsty4theextraordinary]

Come on love, let’s get this freak-show on the road

I’ve been replaying Fallout 4 for like the 100th time recently and again I have fallen in love with Hancock all over again. So this is a little one-shot I wrote up last night that goes through how Hancock is feeling about the SS. 

Hopefully you guys like it. 

Pairing: John Hancock X Female Sole Survivor 

Tags: Fluff, nothing else just some sweetness. 

“To think I ever doubted you.” 

That was how he had started this, how he had got to where they were now. Of course, she seemed unfazed like nothing had changed. It had been days since their conversation on the side of the road. They had made camp at a local settlement of hers, or rather the Minutemen’s. She chatted idly to the settlers as they sat beside the campfire, unaware of his eyes on her. She had achieved such an amazing amount since coming off of ice. 

When they had first met, she had come strolling into Goodneighbour with Nick Valentine at her side. She was beautiful, and fresher-looking than any woman he had seen before. Like a poster of one of those pre-war movie stars. Of course, he was attracted, you would have to be blind not to be but he kept it to himself. And that vault suit hugged her curves aa though it were painted on.  

Once they started travelling together that’s when things had changed. Into something that he had never experienced before. She was kind, intelligent, cunning and not afraid to hurt those who needed hurting. He had had pre-existing ideas of what the Vault-dweller would be like in a fight and it was nothing like this. She had the reflexes of a trained killer, and as much as he had thought he would be the one protecting her, it was sometimes the other way around. He couldn’t count the number of times she had stimpak’d him mid-battle, just to turn and shoot his assailant in the face, as though it was nothing at all. 

The more they travelled together the more he fell for her. It wasn’t like him, John had always been a lone wolf, content with the occasional one nightstand. He had no problems finding lovers, even turning Ghoul hadn’t dampened his chances. The sexy King of the Zombies had no issues with the ladies. So why was he so hung up on the woman in a bright blue vault suit? 

It was one night, when they had stopped to make camp and he looked over at her sleeping form, that he fully understood, that what he felt wasn’t just simply lust, like usual. At first, it disturbed him, he wasn’t used to feeling like this, this intense feeling was scary. The womaniser in him denied these feeling of course and he told himself that the last thing she need was the love of a Ghoul. While he had never had trouble finding lovers, he knew that not all soft-skins were so inclined to his kind. He wasn’t sure he could take the rejection from her. He huffed to himself, she had turned him into a teenager again, nervous about asking out his first girl.  John Hancock was a confident flirt, never had he questioned himself before, but then never had he felt like this. She really was something else.  And yet he had never expected her to say what she did. 

He hadn’t expected the conversation to lead that way, he hadn’t even led it that way himself. He just simply wanted to let her know what a great friend she was, how impressed he was with her moral compass, deep down he wanted to be a little more like her. He felt it was only right that he shared, after all, she had been upfront since day one about her past, and what she was trying to do out here in the Commonwealth. But up until this point, he hadn’t really told her much about himself, only how he had become mayor and why he had wanted to leave. He had just wanted to share, to open up a bit. He hadn’t expected her to turn it on him like that. He had been telling her about what had happened at Diamond City. 

“I felt like I was the only one who saw how screwed up things truly were, who couldn’t just pretend things were fine. Still feel that way… or I did. Until I met you” He mentally scolded himself for that last part would she notice, question him. But she just kept listening politely, she hadn’t taken it for any more than just a declaration of admiration. No feelings attached. So with a smile, he continued. 

“I know I run my mouth, but having someone who sees the world for what it is and is willing to do something about it. It’s meant a lot to me. I feel damn lucky to have you as a friend.” 

“And that’s what we are? Friends?” the words had fallen from her mouth like they meant nothing, like she hadn’t just propositioned him. He couldn’t help the flutter that he felt in his stomach or that grin that spread across his face, he felt suddenly exposed, was she playing with him. But like aways, John use crude flirting and overconfidence to hide his nervousness. 

“Well, now that you mention it, I have been having slightly more impure thoughts than usual. Maybe we’ll get to…. act on those. Heh,” He had said to her. It wasn’t that he regretted saying it, after all, it was the truth. Watching her ass bounce in the vault suit, as she ran and few yards ahead of him as they travelled had undoubtedly been the inspiration for a few impure dreams. But did he want her to think that was all he had to offer? A few nights of passion on the road, just friends until they got into the bedroom. He wasn’t really sure what it was she wanted, maybe that was all she expected, after all, he did have a reputation. He told himself that with any other girl, especially one that looked like her, he would be happy. But as the days went past and he saw her save people who needed saving and take out those that threaten them, he knew he would never just been content with a sex only kinda deal. But it’s not like that had happened either since their talk nothing had happened. But it had been a tough few days, maybe she was simply worn out, he couldn’t blame. Or maybe it was all just meaningless flirting.  

“I’m off to bed, thanks for the drink Ben” she suddenly announced standing from her seat beside him, the settler nodded his head to her. She turned to John and bent down.

“Goodnight, Hancock,” she said sweetly before she placed a tender kiss to his cheek. He couldn’t help but turn his head and capture her lips. Just because she made him feel something new, didn’t mean he had forgotten all his moves. She squeaked with surprise at first but kissed him back nonetheless. He pulled away, shooting her his infamous grin. 

“You can call me John you know,” he told her and she smiled at him blushing pink. 

“Goodnight, John” she replied trying his name out and he smiled like a fool. No one called him that much anymore, but it sounded so sweet coming from her.

“Goodnight, Sunshine” he replied. His whole life he had been running but at that moment he knew, he could never run away from her.  

She stood fully and without another word headed off towards the small wooden shack that Ben had offered them for the night.  With his mind whirling he took off after her. He closed the door behind him and she looked up from where she was sat on one of the mattresses on the floor. She was going threw her pack, checking out ammo supplies and the like. 

“Hey, when you got time, I got something I still need you to hear,” he said as he perched himself in the rickety chair in the corner and pull the slightly smashed packet of cigarettes from his pocket. 

“Is everything alright?” she asked suddenly looking a little concerned. God, why did she have to look at him with those big beautiful eyes of hers? He took a breath.

“Oh yeah. Better than that. This is just… tricky” he began. Pushing the cigarette between his lips and lighting it. He offered her one silently and she took both the pack and lighter from him without a word, lighting the cigarette and taking a drag. 

He found himself opening up to her again, telling her things only he really knew. Things he hadn’t really told anyone.  How he felt inside, not about her but about himself. He needed to know she understood, that she saw him for who he really was. All his self-loathing out in the open, the real John Hancock on full display.  How he was just running away, with no real destination in mind. She hadn’t just listened to him spill his guts she had consoled him. 

“You may have run, but you always ran for a reason,” she told him with a nod of her head. Hearing her say something like that from her, was like a warm shower, washing away his insecurities, his worries. 

“Been trying to convince myself of that for a long time, but hearing that coming from someone like you…. I don’t know if you understand what that means to me,” he said with a smile which she returned. Again he took a breath.

“So, lemme get to the point. Throwing in with you has been the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s like I found a part of myself I never realised was missing…. Which happened sometimes when you’re a Ghoul” there he was joking again, protecting himself. 

“If I hadn’t taken up with you, I’d probably be in a gutter somewhere, getting gnawed on by Radroaches. You have been one hell of a friend” He had used that word strategically, he hadn’t forgotten the stolen kiss they had just had but he needed to test the waters. 

“Have you ever thought about us as maybe more than just friends?” she said her face serious. Was she testing him too? 

“Heh. It that obvious? But come on. You don’t want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.” it was honest, there were no sexual undertones, no joking. He was checking, he knew he could charm the pants off most girls in the Commonwealth but this was more than that, he wanted to check he hadn’t made a mistake. 

“Who I fall for is my decision. And I’ve fallen for you” she admitted with a smile and he swallowed hard. 

“Wouldn’t expect that kind of lapse in judgement from you. But I guess that works out for me then, doesn’t it?” he joked, mentally he scolded himself he should have told her how he felt. What she meant to him. But she giggled at his joke and he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Heh. Moments like this, I know all that karma stuff is bull. Because no one like me should be this lucky.“ he said looking down at the lit cigarette in his hand, the long line of ash waiting to be flicked off. 

Her hand entered his peripheral vision and he looked towards her. She had thrown her cigarette away and she was holding her hand out towards him. He threw his cigarette out the hole in the shack wall and took her hand. She pulled him to sit in front of her. Her beautiful eyes staring into his soul.  

“Look John, I know you joke to protect yourself. But I’m going to be honest now” she said and he blinked his heart beating out of his chest, she was going to tell him that he meant nothing to her. 

“When I said I fallen for you” she began, he knew what was coming”

“I really meant it” she breathed holding his hand a little tighter. He let out a breath he hadn’t know he was holding. She meant it?

“I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone before,” she said and he smiled so brightly it hurt his cheeks.

“I love you too, Sunshine,” he said and she smiled.

“But I want to check what that means to you. What I mean is, I don’t one-night stands or friends with benefits. I’m either in all the way or not at all.  So what do you say?” she said her voice far less confident than he was used to hearing from her. Had she been having all the same thoughts as him? God, he was a fool. 

“You don’t know how happy you make me, saying stuff like that. With you, I’ve found the person I was meant to be with. My missing piece. I don’t want to ever be without you. So you wanna make this thing official?” he asked and she smiled so brightly he could feel the warmth of it. 

Without a word, she leant forward and captured his lips in a kiss he wouldn’t ever forget. It was passion-filled but loving, with a swift movement he pushed her back so she was lying, her back on the mattress and he hovered above her. He looked down at her grinning like a teenager, who had just seen his first boob. She giggled before she leant up and captured his lips in another loving kiss. 

[yanderemommabean]

👉👈 can I send in something for Eddie? I think I have a few in the ask box for him or tumblr ate them, but I was wondering how Eddie would react to his perfect bride being his therapist once off of the mountain and in a normal facility. Shes gentle with him, considering his experience on the mountain

“I think you’re coming a long way from when we first started, Eddie” You state with a soft warm smile that only makes his cheeks feel flush and warm. Listen to you, flirting with him, giving him compliments he doesn’t deserve! 

He looks up at you with the same expression, clasping his hands in front of him as he listens to you tell him about how much better he’s become. You’re acting as if you had nothing to do with it, as if you aren’t the main reason he’s held back his less-than-socially acceptable actions. You can’t be that oblivious, can you? Or perhaps, his soon to be wife, just hasn’t been thanked enough to believe she’s any help?

“You’re rather kind, you know?” he asked once you finished praising him, scooting closer to grasp your hand in his. “Don’t you know you’re part of the reason I’m getting better? You’re such a kind hearted creature, you’re able to heal even a monster like me”. 

You don’t try to pull your hand away, for a few reasons, and gently speak “You aren’t a monster Eddie...That place, what they did to you, you didn’t have a choice. You weren’t in an environment that was safe or sane, so you did what you thought was needed. It isn’t your fault you didn’t get the help you needed”. You try and reassure him that what happened at Mount Massive was forced on him, that although he has regrets, he has a heart and didn’t truly want to hurt those people.

You poor, sweet, innocent thing. Of course he’s a monster. He has lascivious, impure, obsessive thoughts of you and murdering those whores who dare try to taint you or steal him away. Not that they ever could, not if he had anything to do with it. He squeezes your hand more firmly, his thumb dragging over your hand over and over as a sort of soothing method. “You say that, but...You’re looking in the eyes of a predator my dear, but a predator that has fallen for you”.

Hearing that, how he was so sure, so confident, so serious, made you pull your hand back. Alright, this shouldn’t be a problem, these things happen. A patient having someone listen and care often leads to feelings of misplaced affection, especially if they aren’t used to kindness or haven’t felt kindness in a long time.

Things just need to be cleared, and you can work from there. 

“Eddie, that’s flattering, but I don’t think you’re in love. I believe you’re mistaking platonic or familiar feelings with that of love, or you’re just feeling a wave of emotions you haven’t felt in a while making you believe you’re in love. It’s not what you think”. The mans eyes only narrow, with a twisted smile growing on his face. You don’t believe he’s in love with you? Darling you must stop these self hating thoughts! Why wouldn’t you be worthy of his love?

Misreading his feelings? Oh you poor thing, who made you believe that you aren’t able to ensnare the hearts of every man you lay your eyes upon? He’ll slit their throats, lovely, don’t worry. He tugs you close, pressing his forehead on your shoulder while inhaling your scent, sighing in relief at the aroma. “You’re so kind, so sweet, but have been so neglected. To think I wouldn’t truly love you, you must have been hurt deeply by another. Don’t worry, my love, if I ever find them I’ll be sure to teach them a lesson like a gentleman”.

“No, Eddie, listen-” you begin,only to receive a bone crushing hug, too weak to shove the man off. His eyes are half lidded, delusional with blown pupils, like he’s high on aphrodisiacs. A true unhinged, lovesick expression as he presses you closer to his chest. “Enough worrying darling, you’ve done more than enough work for this relationship, it’s time to let me do a mans job and take care of you”. 

(-Mommabean. Comments make me feel like y’all actually enjoy my works and like im not just posting to bots, so feel free lol ) 

[hoeneypirate]

Figure it Out pt 8 smutty smut time

Hinawa x fem!reader.

SFW Parts 1-7 on @honeypirate

Look I don’t know if this good at all. I hope it is. I’m so nervous to post lol. Anyway if it’s terrible you didn’t read it and this never happened

It’s been a week since you made it official and filed the paperwork. Your team all laughing, making your cheeks flush since they all already knew. Obi collected his winnings from the bet they made and you and Hinawa both shot him a glare causing him to laugh. “Bet on what you know you can win” is all he says with a shrug.

You were taking it slow with him, because yes your ribs still hurt a little, but also because you wanted to do this right. Sure you’ve both been with other people before, old relationships or drunk mistakes, but this was something you both wanted to do right. But sleeping next to him at night was getting rough, you couldn’t sleep well anymore.

now it has been another week and youre beginning to get restless (read: extremely horny) and you’re beginning to think that maybe he wasnt interested in you sexually. Your ribs felt almost fine! And he still hasn’t touched you!

You’re sitting on the rooftop with your knees pulled under your chin, biting your lip and worrying. You need to talk to him about this but you feel so nervous, you don’t want him to think you’re pressuring him or anything. You want it to be natural. But god damn taking care of yourself just isn’t cutting it anymore. You couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like for him to touch you, to slowly undress you and kiss every inch of your-

“Why do I always find you up here?” You laugh a little stiffly, like he caught you doing something wrong, like he would somehow know you were thinking impure thoughts about him. “What can I say? I like the view” he sits beside you and takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles like usual and ending butterflies to your stomach. You thought about his slowly lips kissing you elsewhere and felt your cheeks heat up.

“Take’?” You whisper, your voice trembling and nervous. He looks over to you with his eyebrows furrowed “what’s wrong?” He knows something is, he can feel your palm sweating and can practically feel your nerves flow into him. “Do you..” you clear your throat and pull your hand from his, bringing them to hide your face, making sure your lips were free so you could be heard so you wouldn’t have to repeat yourself “do you think I’m attractive, sexually?” You say, quietly but he heard you nonetheless.

He waits for a moment before a laugh escapes his throat, your worry turns to annoyance and anger to cover how hurt you felt with him laughing at you. You feel tears burn your eyes as you press your palms to the ground, rushing to try to leave but the moment he sees your face he’s quiet and reaching out for you, pulling you to his chest.

“I’m sorry” he whispered as you gripped his chest but with those words you stopped fighting him. “I didn’t mean to laugh. You just caught me off guard with your absurd question” you humph into him, it wasn’t absurd. It was a normal question. “Okay okay. It wasn’t absurd. But come on y/n. I love you. I love you with my whole being. Why wouldn’t I find you sexually attractive?” You lean back and look into his eyes, he sees the hurt and the fear there and it makes his heart crack. He didn’t even know he was making you feel this way “then why won’t you ever try and make a move? What am I supposed to think? God Takehisa I’m going crazy here. I sleep beside you at night in just your shirt and you don’t touch me. I see you and I know how fucking delicious you are and I’m so fucking h-“ your eyes widen and you stop talking. He’s smiling, a knowing look in his eye as he cups your cheeks, wiping away the stray frustrated tears. “I love you so much he says and you blush. “I love-“ he gives you a look that says let me finish and you pout, making him kiss you softly and continue “I’m sorry” he whispers “If you could know what has run through my head when I see you, when you sleep beside me, when you kiss me and straddle me. Fuck baby girl. You drive me wild. I think we just have some miscommunication here. Now princess,” you feel your skin begin to tingle and your blood rush between your thighs as you unintentionally squeeze them together at his use of the word princess “oh we like that did we?” He raises an eyebrow and you nod slowly, your face flushing “now, princess, finish your sentence” he was so commanding and the look of lust in his eyes made you weak “I’m so goddamn horny. I’m so frustrated.” He kisses you softly and then leans into your ear “baby girl, you never told me your ribs were better. I didn’t know you weren’t in pain anymore” you whimper softly and he feels his cock twitch.

Again. The goddamn moment was ruined by Maki. But this time she just opened the door and yelled since she knew of your relationship “dinner is ready!” Then the door slams closed and you sigh as you press your forehead against his shoulder.

You decide to tease him some before you left the rooftop, you had a few minutes so why not? You move your body so you weren’t just leaning against him and now we’re straddling one of his thighs. You lean forward and kiss his cheek, reaching up to hold his face as you kissed sloppily and sweetly on and around his lips as he sighs and shudders against you, his hands gripping your hips.

“Takehisa” you whisper breathlessly into his ear and he gets the goosebumps, his cock straining against his boxers already rock hard. “Fuck Kitten” he mumbles, panting against your lips “let’s go get dinner then” you say in a teasing manner before more sloppy kisses. He growls deep in his chest as nips at your bottom lip. You chuckle and pull back to gently bite his ear lobe before whispering “do you want me?” He grips your chin and pulls your face back to him, kissing you hungrily, his tongue slipping past your lips as he kisses you deeply. “Yes” he says panting pulling back to look into your needy blown eyes “I need you” you whimper against his lips and he moves then, like he finally knew what to do. He swiftly pulls you to his arms and carries you swiftly to his bedroom.

He sets you gently in the bed, the walk to his room was quick, avoiding everyone easily and he came to his senses a little more as he took a knee in front of you. Reaching up he cups your cheek softly “my pretty girl” he whispers and you smile, your heart was so full.

You kiss his palm and run your fingers theough his hair. He smiles softly up at you, looking at you like you’re an angel. He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles “We don’t have to do anything if you’re uncomfortable or in pain” he mumbles as he kisses your fingertips. You reach out and brush his cheek as he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch. “Takehisa if you don’t fuck me im going to lose my mind” you whisper and he turns, swiftly capturing your lips with his own. He cupped your cheek, his large hand soft and gentle as it moved to grab a fist of your hair. You reach out and slip your fingers underneath the hem of his shirt, making him moan softly when your fingers touch the skin on his sides. You smile against his kisses, his tongue reaching out to lick your top lip as you slide your fingers up his sides, pushing his shirt up high. He breaks away to pull it over his head and you sigh softly, taking in his form in the light of the soft lamp. You bite your knuckle with a blush and a grin, he chuckles softly and tucks your hair behind your ear. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” You whisper and he gasps into a shocked chuckle “no I don’t believe they have” you move to kneel on the bed, running your fingers up his stomach and chest before leaning down, kissing and licking up the side of his neck to his ear “beautiful” you whisper before licking a slow stripe on the edge of his ear making him shudder.

He reaches up, taking a soft hold on your chin and guiding your face to meet his, he looks into your eyes for a moment before smiling and pressing his lips to yours in a slow and heated kiss. Heat pulsed out of your body, your skin tingling, panting against him as his fingers traced up your spine as he took your shirt off. You shivered from the cool air, sending goosebumps across your arms.

He pulls back and looks down at you, sure he’s seen you when he patched you up but he never let himself admire or pay attention. But now, now he wants to see you, he needs to admire and pay attention. His fingers trace from your fingers against his chest to your shoulder, your skin tingling in their wake, and you blush. “I’ve never known anything with more beauty than what I am looking at right now” he whispers as he cups your cheeks making your breath hitch as your stomach flips. You lean forward and pull his face down to yours, kissing him hard as you pull his back down to the bed.

Laying on your back with him above you you wrap your legs around his waist as you reach behind you, unhooking your bra and sliding it slowly down your arms. “Fuck” falls from his lips as he looks down at you, his cock straining against his boxers and jeans. You cover your face with your hands and he laughs, reaching out to move them away he leans down to kiss you “you’re perfect kitten” he whispers against your lips before kissing you one more time and then moving down, kissing your neck and left shoulder down until his breath fanned against your hardened nipples. You sighed softly and it turned into a moan when his lips wrapped around the nub. His fingers reach up to play with your other as his tongue swipes around your sensitive nub. His name falling your lips between moans, your fingers in his hair, gently pulling when his teeth bite down. You grind against him, feeling how hard he was under his jeans and gasping at the size.

His hand reaches down, slipping beneath your cotton shorts and resting against the top of your panties. He pulls up and looks into your eyes, his pupils blown as he gives you a soft kiss “do you still -.” You moan and pull him back down to a kiss that was probably a little too sloppy “Lieutenant” you say in a commanding tone and he smirks “I love you. Thank you for being through about making sure that I want this. But I swear to god if you don’t touch me soon I’m gonna take care of it myself” he chuckles softly at your words but the look in his eyes makes you soak your panties. Hungry, needy, fully of love and desire for you.

“I’ve been wanting this for so long. I need you.” He all but growls and you groan, his fingers pushing under your panties, his middle fingers sliding through your folds and you moan together when he connects with your drenched core. “You’re so wet for me princess. I’m so proud.” He moans against your neck as his fingers move up and down through your folds, just barely missing the spot you needed.

His teeth connect with your skin and you moan “please” you whisper and he moans “please what princess? Tell me” he leans up to look into your eyes again and you claw at his chest “please make me cum, Sir” you whisper and he kisses you hard, his fingers hitting your clit making you moan into his mouth. His fingers expertly twisted around your clit, slowly increasing the pressure until your fingers dig into his shoulders “please please can I.. I need” your voice is breathy and trembly as you reach your end. he presses his forehead into yours, his fingers retreating from your panties making you groan and him chuckle. “I want to taste you when you cum” he whispers and you feel your walls clench as you drip into your panties

He pulls back and undoes his jeans, you go to take off your bottoms but he stops you “no. I want to” you blush but nod and watch as he unzips his jeans and pushes them down his legs leaving him in his red boxers. His cock was straining against the thin fabric leaving nothing to your imagination. You moan as you feel yourself dripping even more. “I’ve seen you look at cake this way” he says and you laugh with a smile as you look up at him, pure love and desire in your eyes. “you have not! I know for a fact I’ve never wanted a piece of cake to fuck me” he growls and kneels on the bed,l between your legs. He kisses between your breasts as he twists your nipples in his hands, soft whimpers falling from your lips. He moves down slowly, leaving a trail of kisses before he’s unbuttoning and slowly unzipping your jeans. He looks up into your eyes as he pulls down your jeans and undies slowly, tossing them to the side.

He sighs softly with a little smile as he takes you in, naked, beautiful on his bed. His hands run through his hair as he takes off his glasses which were already smudged to hell. He kneels by your feet as he looks up your body, admiring every aspect until his eyes meet yours “y/n” he whispers but it comes out like a growl. You smile softly and wink at him and he smirks, leaning down to kiss you. This kiss was different than the last, it conveyed all of the love he feels for you.

You pull him down so you can kiss and suck across his neck “Please” you whisper in his ear and he groans “tell me sweet girl” his hand grips your hip and you moan into his ear “please make me cum” he moans when you bite his neck.

His lips travel down your chest, licking your right nipple before continuing further down, he placed a kiss on each hip before slowly spreading your legs, groaning at the sight of your slick dripping through your folds. His cock twitches as he runs his two middle fingers through your folds. He brings his fingers to your lips and you open your mouth hungrily licking them clean “good girl” he says as he leans down, kissing and biting along your thigh, leaving small hickies before finally slowly licking through your folds.

Your hands tug on his hair making him moan against you, his hot tongue licking and sucking your clit. The sounds you were making were like music to his ears, he’s never heard anything more delicious. His two middle fingers circle your entrance making you sigh and whimper as they slowly enter you. “Fuck fuck yes please” you mutter as he curls then and begins to pump at the perfect pace. Your nerves begin to coil as tingles flood your body, familiar eurphoris builds as you tease your nipples “please please sir can I cum?” He chuckles and kisses your clit softly “cum for me princess” he mumbles before sucking your clit and hitting that perfect spot with his fingers has your whole body trembling as the cord snaps.

Strings of curses and thank yous fall from your lips as you twitch against his tongue as he slowly licks across your clit lazily as you ride your high. “Kiss me” you whisper through your pants and he crawls up to you and smashes his lips to yours, your tongue wraps around his and you taste yourself in his tongue. your legs wrap around his waist, pressing against his bulge making him moan against your mouth as you rub your slit against his hard cock, he can feel your wet soaking through his boxers. “Fuck Me” you mumble against his lips and he moans again and kisses you hungrily.

“Can I?” You ask as he pulls back to pull off his boxers. He blushes, he actually blushes as his chin still shines with your slick. How beautiful he was. He nods slowly and you rise, dropping to your knees in front of him, looking up at him through your long lashes. He feels like he is in heaven, the girl he’s in love with loves him back. Your breath catches as you gasp, his boxers pulled down his knees and his cock springing up, long and thick, a vein down either side, you knew it was big but actually seeing it was different. You moan and your mouth waters as you lick your lips “can I..” you look up into his eyes from his gleaming tip and he groans as he reaches out to cup your cheek as he guides you to his cock.

He moans as your tongue wraps around his head, you lick down the side as you look up at him and he bites his lip as he moans “your mouth feels so good princess you’re treat me so well” you moan and take him as deep as you can, his tip hitting the back of your throat and your hands around what won’t fit. “Fuuck shit” he mumbles as he ruts into your mouth you nod against him and his hand is tightening in his hair as he fucks into your mouth, you moan around his length and he moans before pulling out. “you’re breathtaking” he says and he leans down to kiss you, sloppy and spitty before he’s picking you up into his arms and sitting you in his lap, your legs straddling him as you lick and bite across his shoulder

“Are you ready?” He whispers as he drags his cock head through your dripping folds “fuck me Takehisa” you mumble against his neck and he groans as slides his cock through your folds once more then presses into you. You gasp when the head enters you, a delightful pain from the stretch that burned slightly. He gives you a moment to adjust before he’s guiding your hips farther down. You bite his shoulder and moan as your ass hits his thighs, his cock deep inside you and stretching you out perfectly.

“Fuck princess, you’re so tight” he pants and you whine and kiss his neck “so full. You’re so big” he kisses the side of your head as you wait to adjust to his size “you’re doing so good princess. Taking me so well. You’re so hot and tight. So perfect. My perfect princess” he mumbles against your head and you moan, your fingers digging into his shoulder as you begin to move your hips against his.

He brings your lips to his as he begins to fuck up into you, his grip tight against your hips and you wouldn’t be surprised if you found bruises later. You move you knees farther up as you push him down to his back and gasp into his mouth as he begins to hit that perfect spongy spot. His arms wrap around your back as he hugs your sweaty chest to his own, he fucks harder up into you and faster as you feel that cord tighten, heat and tingles pulsing through your veins. “I’m so close” you moan and run your fingers up his sides and across his ribs you couldn’t quite move with his tight hold around your ribs but you needed to have your hands on him as much as you can

“Wait for me princess” he growls and you nod as you whimper, the short cut hair on his chest pressed to yours rubbed against your nipples adding to the sensations he was putting you through. “Please!” You moan and he stops, an action that he hates himself for to lean down to your ear “please what princess?” He growls into your ear and you groan as your fingers scratch down his chest “please sir” you whine and he kisses the side of your head softly “that’s my girl” he says before he resumes bucking his hips up into your cunt, fucking up into you with renewed speed as the sounds of him inside of you filling the room “cum for me princess” he demands against your lips and you feel the cord snap, your body responding immediately as your cunt squeezes his cock as you cum, harder than you ever had alone. You whimper and shudder in his arms, he can feel every tremor rack your body and it makes his cock strain as he gets to his peak. “Cum inside of me. Please ” you mumble between whimpers, your eyes rolling into your head as you feel his hot cum hit your walls, his moans and whimpers right in your ear for you to hear. Both if you mumbling I love yous into the other's skin.

He stays within you as you lay there catching your breath. His fingers attacking up and down your spine. “How are you feeling?” He asks and you laugh “I feel amazing. Thank you” you say as you lean up against his chest. He cups your cheek “I love you” he whispers and you blush “I love you too”.

You feel empty when he finally pulls out, feeling weird about how you wish he was back inside of you already. He chuckles at your frown “what’s that about?” He asks and your cheeks flush in embarrassment “I just feel so empty now” he laughs and kisses your cheek “you’re perfect” he whispers and you laugh as he holds out his hand to you, pulling you to stand with him.

“Should we head to dinner?” You say with a chuckle and he smiles “maybe we should get cleaned up first” he says and kisses your lips softly “and then maybe after dinner we can have round two” he whispers against your ear and you giggle, goosebumps running up your back.

[writing-to-nobody]

Set You Sailing

Marisol Cheshire's life has been far from easy. She's made a lot of difficult choices, usually guided more by self-interest than any kind of moral compass. Now, she has another choice to make: one that will decide the fate of her helpless newborn child. Looking down at the innocent baby, she wonders if it will survive the kind of life she's lived, or if it will be better off somewhere far away. 

Rated M for language and dark themes.

Content warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, contemplation of lying about a stillbirth, cissexism, regular garden-variety sexism, bad parenting

    It was a mistake, to hold it. She realized that the moment the midwife placed the wailing, squirming infant on her chest. She brought a trembling hand up, exhaustion making her nearly delirious, and touched a fingertip to the baby's tiny hand. 

    It wasn't magic. Not that she'd expected it to be. She wasn't stupid. She didn't live in a fairytale world where holding the little parasite she'd carried inside her for nine grueling months made all of her problems go away and cleansed her heart of impurities. No, it was nothing like that. It was just that as she stared down at that tiny, helpless hand, she felt something stir in her chest. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. 

    Guilt. 

    Her own hand looked worn in comparison to the soft skin beneath her fingers. Her eyes picked out a scar on her knuckles, pale against her brown skin, and her mind wandered idly back to the day she'd gotten it. She winced at the memory of gunshots and shattering glass. 

    Was that what awaited this little one? She tried to remind herself that life wasn't easy for anyone. It wasn't meant to be. The strong and intelligent survived. Those who were stupid and weak fell by the wayside. This child was no better than any other… except that it was hers. 

    It had never been anything but an inconvenience to her. Nausea morning, noon, and night. Disrupted sleep. Far too many bathroom breaks for her liking. Fatigue. That something so small could cause her such trouble was almost as humbling as it was irritating. 

    "You're an ugly little thing aren't you?" she murmured, placing her hand atop the baby's damp head. It was a reddish-brown, wrinkly thing, mostly hairless save for a few thin black strands plastered to its scalp. Perfectly hideous. "All the other babies will laugh at you, for being so ugly," she informed it matter-of-factly.

    The baby pressed a tiny, weak fist against her bare skin. 

    "You take after your father that way," she whispered, but she could see little of her husband in the innocent creature resting on her chest. It didn't have the angry wrinkles on its face from too much scowling. Its eyes were hazel, somewhere between its father's green and her deep brown, but they weren't cold like Richard's. There wasn't enough intelligence behind them to be cruel. 

    She worked her jaw and petted the baby's head. The little thing was so fragile. This world was going to tear it to pieces, if its father didn't do it himself. If it lived, what sort of life would it have? 

    She studied another scar on her arm. A bullet had gone right through it: in one side and out the other, and it showed. It still hurt sometimes. 

    She ran a finger over the baby's tiny, perfect arm. Soft. They weren't soft people, her and Richard. They couldn't afford to be. Or maybe they'd never tried. It was a moot point now. 

    "You're not long for this world. You know that?" She scoffed. "Of course you don't. You don't know anything. You're a baby. The only thing you're going to know how to do is cry and shit." 

    The midwife and her assistant exchanged a glance, but she ignored them. She'd never cared what anyone else thought of her and she wasn't about to start now. 

    "You're not going to be winning anyone over with that face," she mumbled, "so don't even-" 

    The baby's eyes met hers, just for a moment. 

    Her breath caught in her throat. A thought occurred to her. A crazy, illogical, impossible thought. Time seemed to stand still, then the baby's gaze passed over her, its eyes vacant once more. 

    She looked up at the midwife's assistant. "Take it away," she ordered before she could think on it further. 

    "W-what?" the woman stammered, glancing between her and the midwife as if she might have misheard. 

    "Did I stutter?" Marisol snapped. "Take it. Get it out of here. As far as you can. If I ever see you or the little wretch again I'll shoot you both." 

    The assistant's eyes widened. "M-Missus Cheshire, ma'am, I-" 

    "Horatia, be a dear and fetch my pistol, would you?" she muttered with an almost bored glance at the midwife. 

    "Just take the baby," she heard Horatia hiss. 

    With trembling hands, the assistant lifted the newborn off Marisol's chest and, with one last doubtful glance over her shoulder, fled with it. 

    When she was out of sight, Marisol let her eyes drift shut. Pain gripped her in needle-sharp claws, making her grit her teeth until it passed. "Damn it," she growled. "When do are these fucking contractions supposed to end?" She pressed her palms to her temples. "Fuck. What am I going to tell Richard? He'll want to see a body of course. Stupid." 

    "Ma'am-" Horatia said. 

    "Quiet, I'm thinking." She could tell him it had been stillborn and she'd been too distressed to keep it in the room, but she'd need to present him with a dead baby sooner rather than later. Where the hell was she supposed to get one of those at this hour? 

    "Ma'am I think you're going to want to hear what I have to say," Horatia said firmly. 

    Marisol shot the midwife an icy glare. "What?" she snapped. 

    "Were you aware you were expecting twins?" Horatia asked. 

    Marisol exhaled a series of words that would have made her Tía Ana die of shock if she hadn't gone down in an unfortunate plane 'accident' six months back. "You're kidding me."

    Horatia gave her a helpless shrug. 

***

    "A girl," Richard remarked. 

    Marisol didn't bother to open her eyes. He wasn't worth the effort. "Do you see a penis? No? Then it looks like it's a girl." 

    Richard clicked his tongue in disapproval. "That's a shame. Well. It can't be helped."

    Marisol groaned. "Spare me the crap, just this once. It's your fault anyway. Why don't you bitch to your sperm and leave me alone?" She opened her eyes just a bit to see Horatia offer the swaddled baby to Richard. 

    He held his hands up awkwardly. "Oh. Erm. No." He gestured in Marisol's direction. "The baby is her job. I have real work to do, thank you." 

    "No," Marisol said quickly. 

    Richard looked over at her. He raised an eyebrow. "What?" 

    Marisol's heart beat behind her ribs like the wings of a trapped bird. She didn't want to hold this one. She couldn't. The first one was bad enough. "I've been carrying the damned thing for nine months," she argued. "You can hold it for a few minutes."

    Richard curled his lip. 

    Horatia stepped closer and gently placed the baby in his arms. "Support the head, now," she instructed. 

    "Oh. Ew. It's drooling on me. Is it supposed to do that?" 

    Horatia turned her eyes heavenward. She muttered something. Marisol thought it might have been: "God help this child." She might as well have saved her breath. No one could help the poor thing now. 

    She thought of the other baby, so soft and new and perfect. If that woman she'd handed it off to knew what was good for her, they'd be halfway across the city by now. 

    The remaining baby let out an ear-splitting cry. Marisol was fairly certain she was going to strangle it before the week was out. It'd probably be more merciful than letting it live, anyway. 

    "Okay, I'm out," Richard announced. He practically flung the baby at her and was out of sight before she could blink. 

    Marisol didn't look down at the baby. She didn't move to hold it. 

    "Horatia," she said. 

    "Yes, ma'am?" 

    "Any chance you'd be willing to shoot me point blank in the next five minutes?" she asked. 

    "Afraid not, ma'am," Horatia replied. "Would you like me to take the baby while you rest?" 

    Marisol sighed. I'd like you to take it away forever, she thought. But she supposed it was too late for that. She nodded weakly, and the infant's weight vanished from her chest. 

    "I'll bring her back for her feeding, ma'am," Horatia told her. 

    Marisol groaned. "Yes. Right. See that you do."

    And then she was finally, blissfully alone. 

[softboywriting]

Haven Port | Chapter Four | Shawn Mendes

Summary: Shawn and his pack have moved to your tiny town of Haven Port. You’ve never met werewolves other than your dad before and you’re infinitely curious. You may be only half werewolf but you and Shawn have a connection that will send you on a wild romantic journey in this small town you call home. [hybrid reader] [werewolf shawn]

Word Count: 2.7k

|Masterlist In Bio|

You and Shawn stay up for hours talking about everything and nothing. You find out he has two brothers who have their own packs. You tell him about your dad and what it was like growing up in Haven Port. Shawn tells you about his parents and how they moved far into the Canadian wilderness when the pack he grew up in disbanded just two years ago. 

Around one in the morning you find yourself slipping into unconsciousness, laying with your head on Shawn's lap. It's easy to drift off when he is talking, voice soft and level as he strokes your hair and ears. You're not sure what he's talking about currently, you've been so out of it for several minutes now.

"Shawn?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Why don't some packs like hybrids?" 

"Genetic impurity." Shawn sighs heavily. "Some people think humans shouldn't be allowed to taint the bloodlines our people fought hard to keep alive. It's stupid really, because if we hadn't cross mated with humans we would all be dead by now. The ones who argue for purity disgust me because even they have human ancestors whether they want to acknowledge it or not."

"We're all mutts in the end." You yawn sleepily. "Such a stupid term." 

"Mutt?" Shawn brushes his thumb over your ear gently. "That's a terrible word. It's a pretty low blow to people who are hybrids like you."

"I've heard it before, I don't take it personally." 

"Someone called you that directly?" 

"In school. It's been a long time, and teenagers are mean."

Shawn hums. "I've only heard other werewolves call hybrids that, not human kids. Interesting."

"It's fine."

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Mmhmm." You close your eyes and he stills his hand in your hair. "Yeah?" 

"While you were distancing yourself, did you feel anything?" 

You peek one eye open and he's looking out across your room. "Feel something? Like what?" 

"Heartache." He looks down and his eyes meet yours. He looks overwhelmingly sad. "Sadness, longing, sleeplessness."

"Yeah, all of those things actually."

He closes his eyes and cradles your head against his stomach. Tears fall on your nose and forehead. 

"Shawn?" You reach up and touch his cheek. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm relieved." He sniffs and wipes his face before taking a deep breath. "I was worried that you didn't feel the pull of a mate. I was scared I was wrong about us, that things were very onesided."

"The heartache and stuff is because we're mates?"

"Yes. When mates get separated without knowing they'll come back to each other, they will feel heartbroken and lethargic." Shawn twists his finger around your hair. "It's a bit extreme, but it's how mates work. We love very passionately."

You turn your face into his stomach. "I haven't been sleeping, and I've been so upset and vulnerable lately. It makes sense now. Did you feel like that? Was it really bad?" 

"I felt like I was going to fall apart. I was moody and angry. I didn't sleep, I went for late night runs instead. I tried to come see you at first but I couldn't find you and so I figured you didn't want to see me, which made things hurt more. I don't want to feel like that again."

"I'm sorry." You whimper, fingers curling into your bedspread. "I caused so much grief."

Shawn strokes you ear and brushes back your hair from your face. "Look at me," he says gently and you look up from where you've turned your face mostly into his stomach. "You didn't know. It wasn't intentional. You thought you were doing the right thing. I understand, and I forgive you."

You nod. 

Shawn leans back and you position yourself so you're laying against his side, head on his shoulder. A few minutes pass and you think of how you felt without him versus how it feels now. There is nothing like feeling comfortable, safe...loved. 

"Do you think the pack will try to get to know me?" You ask softly just as Shawn's breathing slows down as if he were going to sleep. 

"Yes." He mumbles.  

"What if they don't like me?"

"Then they can leave."

You look up and he's got his eyes closed. "But they're your pack. I can't come between you and them."

Shawn slides his hand up the back of your shirt and traces your spine tenderly. "You're my pack too. Everyone was new once. If they choose not to get along with you then they can choose to get along elsewhere. I'd expect the same if I brought in anyone else."

"You want me in the pack?" 

"How could I not? You're my mate, believe it or not, I have no plans to leave your side any time soon." 

You close your eyes and lay your hand over his heart. It beats steadily, and he brings his hand up to lay over it. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Coming to Haven Port. I thought I'd be alone with Parker until I died, then you walked into my shop and changed my whole world. So thank you."

He hums softly. "I was supposed to come here. It was meant to be, and I'm glad I did. I didn't expect to meet you but when I did I knew why I chose Haven Port."

"So you're saying it was fate?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, I'm glad fate came through." 

"Me too." 

_____________________

Two days later and you go to Shawn's place for the second time. You're nervous, hands shaking as Shawn pulls into the driveway. It's reminiscent of the first visit, same time of evening and everything. 

Shawn reaches over and holds his hand out, palm up for you. "I've talked to them. There is no need to be nervous."

"Tell that to my gut. I feel like I'm going to puke."

"Please don't throw up." He threads his fingers between yours and brings your hand to his lips. "They respect me, they know what I expect from them."

"Okay. If...if I'm uncomfortable can I leave?" 

"Yes. Always."

The house is empty when you walk in. There is no one at the door, no one in the main room. There isn't so much as a peep from anyone or anything but the heater in the corner of the living room under the window. It's much less of a greeting than before and you're not sure if it's better or worse. 

"Guys! I'm home!" Shawn announces and walks up behind you, arm wrapping around your waist. "They're here somewhere."

Ryan jogs down the stairs and his steps falter when he sees you. "You brought company?" 

"No, I brought a member of the pack." Shawn says firmly. 

"Right, yeah. I forgot." Ryan looks up where Lindsay and Jo are both standing at the top of the staircase. "Shawn's home."

Jo turns and goes back to where ever she had come from. 

Lindsay walks down slowly until she's a step above Ryan. "Hey, long time no see."

You raise your hand in an awkward wave. "Yeah, I have been...uh...busy."

Shawn looks past the two of them and scowls. "What is Jo doing?" 

"I don't know?" Ryan shrugs and Lindsay shakes her head. 

Shawn releases his hold on you and pushes past the two wolves on the stairs to go find the youngest member of the pack. You're left alone, staring down two people you don't know how to approach. 

Ryan steps down until he's in front of you. "So, what do you do?" 

"I run a tea and coffee shop. I make gift baskets that I sell online." You pull a sample of a chamomile blend from your pocket. You brought some with you to hopefully give as peace offerings. "You can try one?" 

Ryan takes the bag from you and turns it over in his hands. "You made this?"

"Yeah, the flowers are from-" 

"Who cares." Lindsay says as she walks past and into the living room. 

You clench your jaw and look down as you feel yourself flush with anger. 

"Thanks." Ryan says and follows Lindsay, leaving you alone in the entryway. 

Shawn comes down the stairs and looks around for the other two. "Where'd they go?" 

"I don't know." You swallow thickly. "I don't care. I want to leave."

"What? What happened? I was gone for a minute." He holds your shoulders. "What happened?" 

"They don't like me Shawn. They don't even want to try to like me." You flatten your ears back and take a deep breath. "They hate me because I'm a hybrid. You said it yourself that their old pack didn't like hybrids. I'm pretty sure they didn't grow out of an idea that was ingrained in them as children." 

Shawn growls. "Lindsay! Ryan!" 

Both of the wolves appear and you go up the stairs to Shawn's bedroom. You don't want to be around when he lays into them. You don't want to be the center of attention. 

You take a seat in Shawn's room near the door.  No sooner than you get sat down then the door opens. It's Jo. She looks down and then closes the door behind her.  

"I'm sorry." She says softly. "I'm sorry I made fun of your ears and upset you. That was insensitive and rude. I thought because Lindsay and Ryan were talking about them it'd be okay, that it was just a joke, y'know? Looking back on it now I was so mean for no reason. I don't think your ears are weird or stupid. I'm so sorry I was a bitch." 

"O-oh. Thank you for apologizing." 

Jo sits down across from you. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah, but why would you want to tell me?" 

"Because it sort of involves you. The truth is that I was upset when Shawn brought you home." She picks at the rug under her legs, eyes focused on it instead of you. "I thought Shawn and I had a connection. I thought maybe because I'm a few years younger than him that was the reason he didn't want to pursue it. But I was wrong, I was jealous and angry." 

You remember what Ava told you, how she suspected this all along. "Oh, that must have been rough when you found out. I'm sorry."

"No, you don't have to be sorry." She looks up. "I made a mistake, I mistook feelings of brotherly love for the wrong thing. I-I should have gone with Peter probably."

"Peter?" 

"Shawn's brother, one of his brothers. He invited me to go with him, and I liked him too, but I chose Shawn." She scoffs. "Now I have no idea how to find Peter even if I did want to leave."

"Are you unhappy here?" 

"No. Well, sort of. I love Shawn to death and Ava is like a sister to me. It's just that without Shawn, I'm not sure if I'll ever find someone. I held on to the hope that he was the one for so long." Jo wipes her cheeks and you realize she's crying. "I played myself, I should have known. Now it just hurts."

You reach out and tentatively lay your hand on her leg. "You'll find someone, maybe Shawn knows how to get ahold of Peter. Have you asked him?" 

"No. I don't want to ask. I don't want him to think I want to leave."

"But if you're unhappy..."

Jo sighs. "I'll be fine. Besides, Lindsay and Ryan are leaving. They haven't said it to Shawn yet but they are, I overheard them talking a few nights ago." 

Your stomach churns. "Why are they leaving?" 

"They think Shawn isn't a good alpha, that he's too soft and doesn't care about the good of the pack. Which is wrong, he's incredible and he has always taken care of us. They're just angry."

"Because of me."

Jo nods. "I think they have a problem with you. I don't know why, there is nothing wrong with you."

"It's because I'm a hybrid."

"That's stupid. You're Shawn's mate, you're still a wolf even if you're a hybrid." Jo leans back and braces herself on her arms. "I actually think you're very interesting."

"Thank you?" 

"I mean it. I've never met someone who has wolf ears. Do you have a tail too?" 

"No!" You laugh and Jo giggles. "Do you see a tail?" 

She shrugs and leans over as if looking for it sticking out behind you. "You could hide it, but no, I don't see one. Too bad, I'm sure Shawn would be into it." 

"That's so weird."

"Shawn's weird." Jo says softly and goes quiet as if reflecting for a moment. "He's weird but he's also one of the best men I've ever met. You're very lucky."

"You'll find someone like him." 

"I know, one day right?" 

"Yeah. One day."

_____________________

Shawn takes you home later that evening. Lindsay and Ryan both disappeared, you've no idea where they went but they were not around when you crept down the stairs with Jo after talking for a while. You're sure Shawn must have come to find you and heard you and Jo talking and left you alone. It turns out that Jo has a lot in common with you. You both love cats despite your wolf nature, you both like to knit and sew, she loves coffee and you obviously do too. It's great, and she gives you hope that maybe you could be part of the pack one day.

Shawn turns the Jeep down your street and he reaches over and lays his hand on your leg. "I'm proud of you today."

"Why?"

"You talked to Jo. You let her apologize to you for what she did. I knew she would, that she doesn't think like Lindsay and Ryan." He pulls into your driveway and kills the engine. "I'm sure it's not easy for her to see us together."

"You know how she feels about you?"

"Yes." He sighs. "I've never lead her on, and I tried to always keep everything as platonic as possible. Still she always had that look in her eye. It kills me to break her heart but she knows that mates are not a choice."

"Yeah, she knows."

"Can I come in?"

You lift his hand from your leg and press your palm to his. It's so warm, and so big. "I'm just going to go to bed, but if you want to, I won't say no."

"I'd love to."

You and Shawn go into the house and he goes to the kitchen to make a cup of tea with the chamomile bags you brought with you. You go to the bathroom and clean up, wash your face, put on some lotion before bed, the usual things.

"You're so beautiful."

You shut off the sink and look over at Shawn leaning against the door frame. He's smiling, soft and gentle, just a slight turn of his lips. "Thank you."

"Everything about you is so inviting." He steps into the small bathroom and sets down the mug of tea he's cradling in his hand. He walks you back against the counter after you turn around to hang up your hand towel. "Your eyes, your smile...your voice." He trails off, eyes heavy on your lips. "I'm so lucky."

"I'm lucky, not you."

"No, I'm a hundred percent sure I'm the lucky one." He brushes back a bit of stray hair that's fallen in your face. "Y'know... we're mates and we haven't even kissed."

"Yeah?" You smile playfully. "So what?"

"So maybe I could change that."

"Or maybe you can wait." You press two fingers to his lips and he kisses them. "Let's let it happen naturally. There's no fun in just doing it for the sake of doing it."

Shawn smiles and scratches your ear briefly before stepping back just a bit. "I'll wait forever if I have to. I know it'll be worth it."

You grab his hands and walk backwards toward the doorway. "I know it will be. Now, are you going to stay again?"

"If you're comfortable with that, yes."

"I'm very comfortable with it."

Shawn breaks one hand away and he grabs the mug of tea from the counter. "Alright then, lead the way honey." 

—————

Please send feedback in asks, replies or reblogs. Let me know if you’d like to read more of this story. Thank you so much -A

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

[creators-novel]

Koto braces for impact.

           Fast-paced footsteps echo throughout the hallway. Just as Gaia was about to launch her finishing blow against Koto, she turns around to see Straus leading the band of Incarnates. Straus summons gauntlets with sharp, metal claws attached to them and jumps in the air as he calls out,

“CATCH THESE HANDS, GAIA!!!”

           Upon seeing that Straus was all better, Koto’s Cosmic Supernova form turns off completely. “S-Straus…!”, as Koto watches him take over the fight, Uriel and Nova run over to check on her. Uriel reaches out her hand and smiles, “Sup, dude?” “Hi, Creator!”, says Nova, catching up. Koto dizzily looks up at her Incarnates, “Guys-? How did you-?” “We’ll tell ya later, can you stand?” “Er- yeah..”, Koto takes Uriel’s hand and stands up.

           While Gaia, Straus, and his team are locked in combat, Koto meets up with the rest of her squad to quickly come up with a strategy. “What’s the plan?”, asks Luna. Koto quickly comes up with one, “Help Straus! DreamWorld Incarnates, use projectiles to try and make Gaia lose her footing. Uri, you attack from the air!”

“Roger!”

           Koto’s group joins the fray. At this rate, Gaia is facing a 12-man army, an army that she can’t take on all at once by herself.

“What is all of this?! How many souls have you corrupted, Straus!?”

“Those souls are my friends, Gaia. Clearly, something you’ll never have with this attitude of yours. If only you could see that…”

“I do not need to see anything through that clouded view of yours!”

“It’s only ‘cloudy’ because even at my age I still have a lot to learn. I’m not gonna learn anything in that room you trapped me in. Somehow, I feel as though my mom wouldn’t have wanted that for me…”

“Whoever said I was your mother-?!”

           Everyone pauses their attacks. Gaia just made a terrible mistake by not reading the room. Koto and Straus look at each other, then back at Gaia with a great intent to get this fight done and over with. With Gaia confused by her social blunder, Koto takes the opportunity to warp behind Gaia and land a solid kick on her back, causing her to stumble. Straus catches Gaia’s arm and throws her over his head, “Don’t act like I ever thought of you as a mother figure, cause YOU AIN’T HER!” The siblings land next to each other and high-five, meanwhile the Incarnates go in for their attacks. DarkClaw jumps up to Gaia’s level and fires a blast from his claw arm; the shockwave of the blast knocks Gaia upwards, allowing Uriel to call down a swarm of lightning strikes that send her back down. With Gaia on her hands and knees, Nathaniel spawns magic bullets around her hands. He smirks, “Hah! This outta hold you still now. Those bullets only materialize if you move, so don’t, unless you want hand pains.” Straus stands before the nearly defeated and terrified Gaia, her confidence replaced with a shaky tone, “What do you want from me, you monsters!?” Koto stands by Straus’ side, “Let us go home…all of us.”

Straus sighs, “I just want you to stop this. That’s all I ask…”

Gaia clenches her teeth, “And for what? To allow this Impurity to go on any longer?”

“Don’t you ever get bored of talking like that? About all this ‘upholding purity’ stuff?”

“To uphold Purity is the way of the Multiverse…!”

“If that’s the case, why are you alone? I figured you would have asked for help fighting for this cause…Unless you don’t have anyone who would help you?”

Gaia is taken aback. Straus continues.

“If you do, where are they? ‘Cause I feel as if you did have people who would side with you, then they would do the same as what my friends did for me.”

“Be quiet-“

“Be honest with me first.”

“…I am an all-powerful Goddess…company does not matter to me…”

“You don’t sound certain about that.”

Koto interjects, “…Did you enjoy having Straus around?” Gaia’s façade falters once more. “Well?”, Koto asks again.

Gaia ponders for a moment before continuing to converse with Straus, “…For a short time, perhaps.”

“I feel as though most of the problems we’ve had could’ve been fixed by just talking. But you never wanted to do that. You gave me this life, yet you shut me out.”

“…”

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Gaia. I haven’t bothered anyone, nor do I intend to.”

“…Just go home, Straus. Leave me alone.”

“Just-…don’t do this again, ok? I meant it when I said I don’t want to hurt you, or worse. It’s bad enough I feel bad for even fighting you.”

“…Fine.”

           Straus waves his hand, “Release her.” Nathaniel dissipates the magic keeping Gaia down; she stands up, “Thank you…you’re all free to go.”, and opens a portal for everyone to go back home. “Come on guys…”, Straus says, directing everyone in, they all leave through the portal except for DarkClaw, who had a few choice words to say to Gaia:

           “That was a good thing he did, y’know? Try to calm you down, choose not to cause pain for the fun of it? A real impure man would have straight up killed you. He has respect for you…Maybe someday, you’ll look back on today and come around…Don’t quote me on it though, it’s your choice after all.”

           DarkClaw hops through the portal as it closes behind him. As the last of these so-called “Impurities” leave her abode, Gaia is left in silence once more.

[vanillapie-80]

A Small Chat Between Faes

A short fic for my Dreamworks AU, sort of a slow burn redemption arc for Morgana.

Toothiana wasn't called The Tooth Fairy for nothing; granted she was one of the more tame faes being once human in her past life. It didn't mean that the guardian had never done anything wrong that was in her nature. Still, any trickery the fairy did was nothing compared to Morgan le Fay. Toothiana had heard all the trouble she had caused in the trollhunter's universe, definitely would've caught the guardians' attention if they originated there. But now the sorceress lives in the attic, refusing to go out and ignoring her own health that various people will take turns bringing food and water there. Today was Toothiana's turn, but she was also hoping to have a little chat with Morgana.

The guardian reached for the handle that was on the roof and flew down; pulling the stairs with her. Her fairies appeared and tried tugging their leader away, letting out worried squeaks. "Don't worry girls, I'll be fine." She reassured.

Toothiana grabbed the plate of food and zipped to the attic. It was dark and very cluttered, which is strange since no one has ever gone to their belongings here. The guardian search for a switch to turn the light but couldn't find it.  

"Don't bother, the light bulb is dead."  The fairy was startled by the sudden voice. From behind, a middle age woman with curly ginger hair walk past Toothiana with an annoyed glare. "How peculiar." Morgana muttered.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I should be the only fae left in the world, unless you're not from my universe." The sorceress stated, almost sounding disappointed.

Toothiana flew left and right from a short distance as Morgana tried to get a good look her appearance. "I'm not, but it doesn't matter." The guardian remarked.

Morgana let out a bitter chuckle. " It doesn't?"

The guardian's eyes narrowed and quickly gave Morgana the plate of food. "No, I just came here to give you this, but you already knew that."

The sorceress rolled her eyes with a groan. "Please, I do not need any of your pity." Her emerald eyes stared at Toothiana with such hate that seemed to come out of nowhere.

She answered. " You know you're the only one who's making this more difficult."

Morgana laid down on an old couch with a smug expression. "Heroes, they all have different skins but share the same snake." Toothiana was quite confused by that analogy, but assumed that it wasn't good. "How long have you existed?"

"Around five hundred to four hundred years." The guardian responded, her arms crossed.

"That's not long for a fae."

"Well I wasn't born one."

Morgana tapped her finger to her lips. "So were human?"

Toothiana questioned Morgana's motive here. "Yes, but it's no longer important to me now." She could barely remember the memories from her past life, since it was all just a blur. "Now, let me ask you a question. Why are even here?"

The sorceress stayed quite as her confident attitude disappeared. "Alright then, let me clarify. Why are you here in this attic? I mean we still have a spare bedroom." Nothing still. "Or is because of Merlin?"

Morgana shoulders tensed as she looked at the guardian, a sense of resentment can be felt in the room. "How dare you speak of his name in front of me."

"If it makes you feel better, we kicked him out." Toothiana stated as an attempt to calm her down.

The sorceress got up from the couch and flew to Toothiana, looming above the guardian. "Oh is that so, then what shall you do with me? Did his champion never spoke of me?"

Toothiana quickly reached to Morgana's eye level, having stern expression. "Actually he did; Jim also said he was willing forgive you if you just own up to your mistakes and apologized to the people that were hurt, especially to Claire."

Morgana grabbed Toothiana by the arm and pulled the guardian close to her with a firm grip. "I don't owe that little impure anything." She hissed but the guardian showed no fear.

"These children were apart of the war you caused, and what about all the babies that were stolen from their families, what did you even hope to gain?" Toothiana continued despite the sorceress' magic starting to slowly burn her arms.

"That old man made it his goal to make my life miserable. Those imps were on his side despite everything he did!"

Toothiana couldn't take the pain anymore and pushed Morgana away and flew back. Her little fairies appeared, letting out worried chirping for her. "Don't worry." She whispered, watching tiny bit of her feathers falling from the burns.

"Don't you dare ignore me!" It seemed like the sorceress' calm demeanor disappeared and was replaced with raw anger.

"Why should I?  After all you've done, because it's one thing to get revenge on someone, but it's another thing when that somehow leads you to ending the world." The guardian wanted to help her, but in order to do that, Morgana needed to learn the harsh truth.

The sorceress was shaking furiously; the flames that came out of her hands grew and she blasted at Toothiana's direction. "Get out!" She screamed.

The guardian didn't any time leaving the attic, it was obvious that she had overstayed her welcome. Toothiana slammed the door shut and heard a muffled BOOM, she sighed in frustration.

"Did she hurt you?" Claire asked, who standing behind Toothiana with an uneasy expression.

"I've dealt with worse." The guardian admitted with a tired smile. "Do you know where Dr. Lake might be?"

The teen nodded and the two silently walked in the hallways for a while.

"Why is Morgana still here?"

Toothiana looked at Claire. "Huh?"

"She's dangerous and horrible person, that witch wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone." Claire must have felt unsafe while Morgana was still here, maybe everyone else were on the same boat too.

"I know, but I'm trying to reason with her first. We did same with your Merlin." Toothiana remembered how stubborn the old wizard was, believing that he could do no wrong and belittling any person who would oppose him. "If Morgana fails to do that then she won't be here anymore."

To Claire, Toothiana was the opposite of Morgana. She acted sweet and gently, like a true mother. Her sole purpose is to protect children and help them remember the most important parts of their childhood. Sometimes Claire wished she was more open minded like Jim.  

"Now how about you help an old lady like me find a doctor." Toothiana joked as a way to ease the tension, leaning on Claire dramatically.

Claire laughed and gently pushed her back. "You don't look that old." The teen knew that she was changing the subject, but maybe it was for the best.

Meanwhile in attic, Morgana watch the remaining flames of her outburst fade. She was offended by what Toothiana said. She didn't understand, no one did. It was all Merlin's fault, he was the reason for all of this. How come no one could see that? Then Morgana remembered what the trollhunter told her during the Eternal Night.

"What did I ever do to you?"

No, she wouldn't allow those ignorant people get to her. But there was doubt, no matter how small it was.

[caps-lockdown]

Sweater Weather Part One

Sweater Weather

Hey everyone here is the next series I’m working on, mostly inspired by how %#$@ hot it has been here in Kansas (And everywhere else, the world is on fire). This story takes place over the course of a weekend (I know, I like weekend worst case scenarios okay? Leave me be), so it’ll probably be 5-6 parts. Hope you like it!

Pairings: Steve Rogers x PottsRelativeFem!Reader

Ratings/Warnings: Hard R 

For everything from language, crude jokes, ADULT situations/impure thoughts, booze (because it’s pretty much a staple in my fics at this point.), arguments, and an extremely overprotective Tony Stark. Very little angst, as I try to keep most of my fics light humored. But of course there are some insecurities/unsure feelings, as well as sad feels from everything with endgame/ the decimation. Also dead parents.

Also AU in the fact NO ONE DIED during Endgame/Steve didn’t go back. Also as much as I adore Morgan Stark, she isn’t around yet. I didn’t know where this would fit timeline wise, so just ignore the timeline. Kay? Cool.

Slow(ish) burn. Lots of pining

Words: 3,476

Summary: You’ve just moved to New York after a long 3 year stint travelling the world and helping with various charities, taking a new job with Stark Industries thanks to your cousin Pepper. A trip out to surprise Tony and The Avengers for the weekend turns from good to terrible when the a/c at the compound breaks. How will you beat the heat for the record breaking weekend?

It’s in Y/N Y/L/N format, any pictures, outfits, gifs, and marvel characters just assume I don’t own them. Also no Beta, as I don’t ever have one, so the mistakes and reader are all my own.Also her friend Kate isn’t mine either, she’s based after a very close fantastic friend. Enjoy!

Part one

“You just had to get the apartment on the top floor with an out of order elevator?”

You dropped the last box labeled “Kitchen” haphazardly on the floor, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand as you turned to watch Pepper Potts shut the door behind her comment.

“You were the one who wore heels today, dear cousin. And besides, the movers did most of the work.” You stared pointedly at her, before bringing your eyes to sweep over the piles of boxes that filled your apartment. A sea of cardboard that came with the faint scent of permanent marker and small notes of your truck’s air freshener flooded the small hallway and living room areas. The floors were bare otherwise, you not having any furniture at the present moment. “You should also know the elevator will be fixed this weekend while I’m out at the compound catching up with everyone.”

“Doesn’t help our damn case now though does it?” The redhead complained while looking at her tired feet.

“But did you die though?” You raised an eyebrow, turning back to look down the hall. “I just gotta pack a bag for the weekend and then we can head out. You sure it’s going to be ok? Me going out there and all?”

“Are you kidding me?” Pepper looked confused at your sudden question, shaking her head and grabbing your shoulders. “Tony is going to be so excited to see you! No one has seen you since the wedding! Not to mention these team building weekends never really get anything accomplished.” You giggled as you waded through the boxes to your mostly empty room, shuffling boxes as you looked through ones with “clothes” written hastily across them in doctor worthy handwriting.

“I should change. It’s hot as fuck outside.” You muttered, opting to switch out your gross sweatpants and stained-to-hell white shirt to a pair of short jean shorts and a curve hugging blue tank top. Your mind wandered to everyone you hadn’t seen in so long. Three years. It had been three years since you’d been back, spending that time traveling the globe and helping charities after the decimation. Pepper and Tony always called you, kept you updated. You honestly never believed you’d move back to New York. But things change.

The only reason why you had come back was after the whole Thanos thing six months ago Pepper had offered you a job as a receptionist at Stark Industries, you decided that day it was time to settle down. You made sure everything was good with the charities you had been helping out with before putting permanent plans into action though. Purchasing a small apartment in the heart of New York City, your cousin and you kept everything quiet as to your return. You wanted it to be a surprise, mostly to see Tony’s face. Maybe someone else’s. Shoving a few days worth of clean clothes in a duffel bag, not forgetting your swimsuit as your cousin promised you some sunbathing time, you opened the door to see Pepper grinning widely at you.

“You know blue is Steve’s favorite color right?” You smirked knowingly as you moved to the bathroom, throwing your toiletries into the sack and zipping it shut. Of course you knew. The blonde avenger was one of the only things that had gotten you through these tough last few years. When everything went down with Tony, you had decided not to pick sides, but you and Steve fell apart regardless. It started slowly, the two of you drifting from good friends to mere strangers. It hurt but you understood. It’s not like you were dating, or like he would ever see you as girlfriend material. Not that you would ever turn him down if he had just asked you. He was definitely boyfriend material, and him looking the way he did certainly helped things too. You had always harbored feelings of some kind towards him, even if you weren’t sure what they actually were. When the decimation happened, you knew the whole team had enough on their plates to deal with. So after a couple years and more importantly Pepper and Tony’s wedding you vanished off the map, putting your people skills and nurturing personality to good use. It’s not like anyone missed you terribly.

Shutting off the bathroom lights you lugged the bag over your shoulder, reaching to take a stuffed Panda bear, obviously worn from years of travel, and grabbing your keys and purse.

“Got everything? What’s the bear for?” Pepper asked as you double checked the deadbolt after you had shut the door.

“A girl in England gave it to me after I found her some relatives to live with. She couldn’t have been more than seven at the time, yet she had managed to deal with her parents turning into dust a hell of a lot better than some of the adults I had seen. She said Mister Stuffins was her favorite and that he would be my friend so I wasn’t alone. Sweet girl. She wrote me when she got her parents back. I cried for a week.” You turned the small bear over in your hand and placed in the front pocket of your bag, remembering her strength in such an awful time of her young life.

“What was her name?”

“Evangeline, but she demanded to be called Evan.” You snickered as you recalled her nearly ripping off your partner at the time’s head for calling her by her full name. The spirited small child had almost made you forget about the seven flights of stairs awaiting you. Your face fell flat upon remembering, Pepper shoving your shoulder.

“Come on, I’ll race you.” You gaped as the red head went barreling down the stairs, deciding to give her high heeled ass a head start before you ruined her self esteem. She’s going to hurt herself and I’m going to have to help her dumbass to the truck.

~~The Compound, a few hours later~~

“Jesus Christ Tony watch where the hell you’re pointing that damn thing!”

“That’s what she said.”

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky, watching the comedy unfold before them. Sam sat on the ground, tinkering with a standing Tony in his iron suit, the latter barely missing the former’s head when his repulsor rays misfired on accident. They had been at this for hours, Sam trying to help the billionaire with fixing something that was wrong with his right leg. Tony continued to bark orders at the man who was only growing more irritated by the minute. To be honest Steve didn’t have the faintest idea what was wrong or how they were planning on putting it right, but he wasn’t the one doing it. So he, Banner, and Barnes all simply stood back to watch.

“We miss anything?” He turned his head slightly to the left at the sound of Natasha’s voice, Thor and her returning from unloading the Quinjet for the weekend.

“Tony missed Sam’s head again, but I think they’re about…”

“DONE! Eat a dick Tin-man.” Sam shouted suddenly, hopping up from his feet and clearing the way for a smug looking Stark, who only looked down at his leg and shook it. He turned to give Sam an iron clad thumbs up, who only flipped him off in return, heading over to join the rest of the group that had gathered on the compound’s grounds.

Since Thanos’ attack, the compound had been rebuilt but wasn’t nearly as massive in size anymore. Only one large building that offered housing, training, mess hall, laboratories and a few holding cells sat next to the pad that held the Quinjet. Tony decided that since the battle had leveled most of the original compound, building something a little more simplistic would be the best course of action. Everyone had agreed with him, and Steve felt like it was little more like home this way. And he’d rather be inside right now than standing outside in this hellish heat wave.

The sun was high in the sky, the temperature only climbing and it was already uncomfortable outside. Steve could feel the beads of sweat forming on the back of his neck, the forecast calling for record breaking highs for the weekend. He wasn’t looking forward to it to say the least, and knowing Tony they would be doing absolutely useless things to pass the time. He would pay for a distraction at this point.

The roaring of a large truck engine forced the super soldier from his thoughts, the impressive vehicle pulling sharply onto the compound parking lot with minimal effort. Dust settled as Steve’s blue eyes caught the familiar sight of Pepper Potts exiting the passenger side, fist pumping the air to loud rock and roll that was blaring out of the windows. Very unlike her.

“Honey uh who’s truck is that?! Are you leaving me!?” Tony coughed as he climbed out of his suit, the large mass of metal’s motor being shut off and the driver door thrown open.

“Of course not sweetheart. You wouldn’t last a day without me.” His confused look had the team chuckling as he kept darting his eyes from Pepper to the vehicle.

“Then who the hell is that?!”

“YOUR SURPRISE!” Tony raised an eyebrow as to why his wife was shouting all of a sudden, clearly not catching on.

On cue you jumped out of the truck, just like you two had discussed on the drive up to the headquarters, beaming at the large group of people.

You’d remember Tony’s elated smile for the rest of your days.

“SHORT STACK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

You laughed as the brunette man came sprinting towards you, the nickname ringing in your ears as he picked you up slightly, pulling you into a spine crushing hug and making you drop your bag. In all the years you had known him, Tony had been like the older brother you never had. When Pepper started working for him you were visiting with your parents and the two of you hit it off instantly. After their unexpected death due to a car accident a year later, Stark and Pepper were some of the only ones there for you, you three becoming inseparable. It had killed a part of you to leave after the decimation, but he had reassured you it’s what your parents would have wanted you to do. You blinked back tears as you hugged the man fiercely.

“Hiya Snark. I’ve missed you too.” The two of you broke apart, Tony leaning back to hold you at arm’s length, taking in your well toned and tanned body.

“Look at you! I mean look at you! Was there something in the water overseas?” You smacked his arm as he went to hug you again, his obviously excited demeanor spreading over the others, although there was a small hint of nervousness in the air.

“Move it Stark, she’s got a line.” Nat scolded, pushing the man away from you so she could hug you herself, a girlish giggle leaving you as you returned it.

“Dig the hair Nat, you break my record yet?”

“I gave up three weeks in. Pinball just pisses me off.” She shrugged, reaching to give your shoulder a squeeze. Thor threatened to break you in half as he embraced you, Bruce choosing to shake your hand. You decided that the new version of the doctor would take some getting used to, but at least he was wearing shirts now. Your eyes met the uncertain ones of who you assumed had to be Bucky, Steve’s friend. So they brought you home after all huh?

“You must be Barnes. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Y/N.  Roger’s talked you up a lot.” He took your outstretched hand firmly, giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Did he now? Funny he never mentioned how he let your gorgeous face slip through his fingers.”

Your jaw went slack as you stared at the man, eyes widened in shock as he shamelessly raked his eyes over your figure. Sam took the chance to rush you, your breath escaping your lungs as he all but tackled you. Everyone laughed as Pepper went to grab your overstuffed duffel off the ground.

“Y/N I’m so happy to see you! It’s been years!”

“I know Sam, I’m sorry I stayed away for so long, just had to think of the bigger picture for awhile.”

“Please Y/N. You were helping people, kids with finding family, rebuilding businesses and houses. Even running soup kitchens for Christ’s sake. Don’t apologize.” He met your bewildered expression with a sincere smile. “Pepper kept us updated. You really didn’t think we would miss you?”

“I had to think of…”

“The bigger picture. We know.” You wanted to remove Sam’s smile off his perfect face when a certain tall blonde walked into your sights. He looked nothing short of amazing, even after these last few years. His hair was swept back into its usual style, his blue jeans and simple t shirt combo making you light headed and he got closer to you. Steve Rogers looked damn good. But you had always thought that.

“You got a hug for me too Doll? Or are you all out?” Your breath hitched at hearing his deep voice, his challenging tone making your heart race.

“Not sure Rogers, why dontcha come over here and find out?” You challenged back, his eyes glittering in amusement as he moved to wrap you in his arms. It never came though.

The large explosion off the side of the main building of the compound caused everyone to jump, panic taking over your senses as Tony reassured you no one was inside.

“That’s good to know Snark but what the fuck was that?!” Your nickname for the man only made him smile before he went speed walking off to go investigate, the rest of you following suit. The blown line of a/c compressors sizzled and popped angrily at you as you got close, Steve darting an arm out protectively in front of you. You let your eyes drink the sight of his large limb, the muscle groups flexing deliciously against the material of his shirt. Tony didn’t look amused.

“What the hell is your arm going to do Cap? You protecting Y/N or flexing your freakish flesh for her?” Tony snapped, the captain lowering his arm guiltily. Rolling your eyes at your cousin’s overprotective nature you stepped forward to take a gander at the busted machinery, the sparks and smoke rising from the group of metal. Tony ran his hand over his face with a sigh.

“Looks like I get to track down some new compressors. Y/N, come with me.” Stark commanded, your face looking to his in confusion as he began to head back towards the main doors.

“Me? Why me?” You asked, not understanding the clearly cranky male’s logic. He scoffed.

“You’re better at people than I am. And I don’t like how Rogers keeps staring at your ass.”

A blush rose to your cheeks, not even sparing the embarrassed blonde a glance as you hurried to catch up with the angry brunette. You could feel Steve’s heated gaze on your back as the two of you walked away, Tony turning around to shake his head at the soldier.

“You better put your eyes elsewhere before I knock them out of your skull soldier!” You contained the giggle that bubbled in the back of your throat as you heard Steve groan, the rest of the team looking on at the two of you and sharing curious expressions.

Later

“Yes I will let him know, thank you so much!” You hung up the phone with a defeated sigh, tossing it to Stark as you paced the living area of the compound. The sun had started to make its way towards the horizon, and after five phone calls you were finally gaining traction on your current mission.

“How many does that make?” Tony questioned, repositioning his sunglasses on top of his head like a suburban soccer mom and scribbling something down on a small note pad.

“That makes the six we need. Six compressors, three deliveries, two electricians to set it up come Monday. I’m sorry but that’s the soonest I could get them here.” You slouched onto the couch next to him, the billionaire lovingly patting your leg. You let your head rest on his shoulder, thinking about how F.R.I.D.A.Y had said earlier you had about 12 hours before the outside temperature would start to affect the building. That was about an hour ago.

“So much for a team building weekend, we should let the others know. I wish there was a way to punch hot weather in the face.” You muttered aimlessly as Tony continued to crunch numbers. His head shot up at you suddenly, a wide smile covering his tanned face.

“That’s it! Short stack you are a genius!”

“You’re welcome?” You nearly fell over on the couch as Tony leapt to his feet, offering you a hand before pulling you out of the living area and down the hall into the kitchens where the rest of the Avengers remained.

“You guys Y/N figured out how we still make this weekend work!”

“Oh yea? Does it include leaving this place until Monday and getting some actual sleep?” Came Nat’s sleepy reply, Bruce pouring her another cup of coffee.

“No! We’re going to work together to beat the heat!”

“Y/N I highly doubt this was your idea.” You shook your head at Sam, clearly you and Tony had completely different ideas on how you all were to spend the weekend. “And Tony it’s supposed to reach nearly a hundred and ten! Why the hell would we willingly be stuck here, with no a/c for essentially two days, in a hundred and ten degree heat?!”

“Because whoever is still here at the end of the weekend doesn’t have to come back for the next four months of team building.” Came your cousin’s response, everyone looking at Pepper with a look of admiration, well everyone except Tony.

“Alright I’m in.” Nat agreed, slamming her coffee mug down, Bruce giving his confirmation alongside Thor. Bucky looked warily at his teammates before sighing, nodding his head curtly in submission. Sam and Steve also agreed reluctantly, not really having a choice in the matter.

“What about Y/N? She’s not part of the team and she shouldn’t have to be stuck here with us!” Sam directed everyone’s attention to you, a small lump forming in your throat as you realized they were absolutely right. So how would you spin this to where they’d let you stay without thinking you were crazy? Chewing your bottom lip in thought, you didn’t miss Steve’s eyes darting from your eyes to your lips repeatedly, a darkened expression on his face before Bucky managed to lightly nudge him, motioning to Tony who was watching him like a hawk.

“I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t start work until Monday and I kind of wanted to catch up with all of you,” You smiled to all of them, Bucky looking extremely pleased with your answer as Stark raised a finger.

“Question. Where are you working and how come I wasn’t made aware that you’re staying here indefinitely?!”

“Don’t worry Snark I won’t be far, I just moved into my apartment over the last few days and I…”

“Last few days!?” Your cousin in law threw his hands up, “When did you decide you would be moving back?”

“Uh…five months ago?” The noise that emitted from Stark’s mouth couldn’t have been English, his eyes narrowing at his wife who only smiled brightly at her husband in kind. She was within good reason to feel accomplished, usually secrets never stayed silent when Tony went snooping.

“Well I for one am all for Y/N staying. We’ll need all the estrogen we can find to deal with you lot this weekend.” Nat chided, coming to stand next to you and patting you on the shoulder.

“Great it’s settled then.” Pepper smiled warmly at you, rounding the island in the kitchen and going to pull out supplies for a meal big enough for a small army. “Now who’s helping me cook dinner tonight?”

A rousing chorus of “Not it!” was heard as Tony took off running in the opposite direction, Steve and Bucky following suit. Within moments you found yourself alone with your red headed relative, the rest of the team becoming scarce to avoid having to cook or prepare.

“I didn’t want them to help anyway. This kitchen would end up looking like the compressors outside.” The two of you laughed as you turned on some light music and got to work. It felt nice to be back.

Tag list: @kaytizzle @cuffski @giggleberts @pies-wands-and-more

[sassytrickster666]

Fiesty : Part One

Nothing is mine but the plot.

Please message me if you notice any mistakes! I tend to overlook ‘em sometimes. Also, probably not safe for work. Will add more chapters if anyone’s interested :3

It wasn´t long until you realised what had happened. Neither was it long until you realised what was about to happen. Since here you were, the young damsel in distress, kidnapped by what potentially was a murderer.

Of course, you weren´t entirely oblivious to current events of your hometown. There was so much going on you doubt you could’ve missed it anyways. With the Overseer and the Horde on the loose and all. Though somehow you hadn´t been worried about that. Somehow it had never crossed your mind that you would be in the middle of one of these events. Yet you were. Yay.

Since here you were, chained to a bloody headboard. It was pretty old and made of some kind of wood. The walls were reasonably tall and coloured an ugly grey with spots of a darker and lighter one. Rays of sunshine coming through holes in the taped Windows enlightened the old room. An abandoned building perhaps? You expected it to smell foul and moist, though the smell of citrus filled your nostrils. How did that happen?

Curious about what else you could spot, you tried to sit up the best you could. In nothing but your fucking underwear. Great. And that´s leaving out two of those annoying-as-hell social butterflies from college chained to some pipes in the same room. Honestly, you´d rather just stab yourself than being stuck in a room with them.

Luckily, you had a feeling that wouldn´t take long.

________________________________________________________________________

A little while later, one of those pesky little assholes woke up, and of course started screaming and crying, thus waking the other up, resulting in not one but two pesky little assholes crying and screaming in the small room with you. Awesome.

It didn´t take long until someone responded to that. Or in hindsight, was is someones?

A tall figure came walking in, smiling a sweet smile. Ah, was this supposed to be comforting? A well-built figure, towering over you, that had kidnapped you, BUT smiling. They were wearing a turtleneck and a long skirt. This was going to be an interesting experience.

_________________________________________________________________________

In the three following days plenty had happened. The same well-built figure had come in the room, speaking with a lisp and wanting to show you how he liked to dance. Apparently his name was Hedwig. He was 9 years old and somehow scared the pesky little assholes, whom you´d now learnt were named Lisa and Darcy, to death. You thought he seemed sweet really, and it probably couldn´t hurt to try and become friends with one of the personalities that held you captive. Thank god you´d heard about this Horde and DIS on the news or you´d have no idea what was going on. You´d also learnt that the smiling female personality was called Patricia. Now, she´s the one that scared you. Lisa and Darcy might have fallen for the smile-trap but oh no you didn´t. If there was one thing you learnt in life it was that the ones with a dead smile were the ones you ought to watch out for. She seemed to be in charge, since you saw her the most.

Then came Dennis, and you didn´t really know what to make of him. Sure, he was the ´strong and silent´ one that must´ve taken you all. AND he was a compulsive cleaner, but sometimes he looked as if something about all this was bothering him.

And that´s just the first day. In the afternoon of the second day the ritual prepping began.

It´s not as if you´re a real big fan of getting your hair braided by a scary as fuck woman was your greatest dream, but at least you got food. Finally. You´d also decided it would be smarter to just be polite to this Patricia, since you had the feeling that if you weren´t she would stab you in the eye with a fork. Which she did to Lisa after Lisa thought it was a bright idea to make fun of the mismatch of clothes Patricia was wearing. Ouch.

Thus, the situation was still miserable, but now Lisa has lost an eye, Darcy was in constant shock and you had Lisa’s eye-juice on one of your favourite shirts. You realise this might sound harsh, but you knew a lot of people like those girls and they were not really your type of people. Because of this, you were almost grateful that you were separated from them.

And just when you were beginning to wonder where Mr. Clean had gone he walked in to confiscate your eyeball-marinated T-Shirt. And there was still something about him you couldn´t really place. Of course you had to smile at him sweetly. Most men tended to have a weak spot for sweetish smiling girls anyways and you figured if there is a way I can exploit this i have to. No harm, no foul. Actually, how sick of a thought it might be, he was quite handsome, wasn't he? You almost slapped yourself for thinking that, but he was. Dennis was tall, confident, he was so muscled you could see it even through his thick grey outfit…

Preoccupied in your thoughts, you almost forgot you were supposed to be taking off your shirt until he corrected you. Eyebrows raised, hand held out waiting and all.

So, cheeky fuck as you were you wanted to try and play around a bit. You would most likely be dead in a couple of days, if not hours, anyways.

You did take of your shirt, though a little more slowly than you should´ve, wiggling around a but more than necessary as you attempted to pull the fabric over your bust. During the whole ordeal, Dennis was keeping eagle eyes on you. He watched your every move carefully, as if trying to understand. Was he on to you? You tried to make eye-contact the whole time, for tension but also to try and monitor if he showed any sign of interest or change. Nothing. Damnit, you thought.

And that´s when, when he turned around tp walk away with your shirt in his hands, with the sight of your womanly body in just trousers and your lacy bra imprinted in his mind, he stuttered when bidding you farewell! Ha! So Mr. Clean was does have a weakness. Now just hope you live long enough to do something with that. Blushing, you sat down on the bed. You know you were just putting on a show to trick Dennis….but you just can't help but be attracted to him. Am I really that fucked up? you thought.

_________________________________________________________________________

Fast forward three hours. You'd just met the Beast. He was crawling over your wall, bloody from what you guess were your previous roommates, yapping on about the weak and the strong and the damaged or something. Apparently you were impure?

Seemingly, you were going to die a painfull death anyways so why not ask what the fuck it meant. I mean, it´d be nice to know why he thought you should be devoured right?

Apparently, you were impure because you hadn´t suffered? Wait what? What the actual fuck did he know about whether you´d suffered or not?! Pissed off as you were, you lost the ability to shut up and told him about it.

´What in the living hell do you know about me having suffered or not, you bloody men are all the same! As if you can just look at someone and can make assumptions about every single bit of my life and who I am? Well, guess what asshole you dont get to decide! Not all bloody suffering is visible. Who are you to say I´ve never been hurt, never been attacked, never wanted for it all to be over? Jackass.´ You pretty much speech-yelled at him.

You had no idea where that came from…. and it felt pretty good. Until the Beast jumped down from the ceiling right in front of you, eyeing you. Then you felt regret and the pressing fear coming over you. Was he sizing you up? Deciding whether he believed you? And you thought exams were stressful.

Suddenly, he spoke ´Feisty…..but true.´ was all he said. When he was walking around you he was, what, sniffing you? when the sound of a door banging opened filled the room. People! Never did you think before you could be so happy with hearing lots of people coming towards you. But you were. You anxiously looked around, waiting for the Beast´s reaction. Would he simply run off? Would he attack them? Take your life anyways?

It wasn't long before you were put out of your misery. It was maybe a split second before he acted. He looked you in the eye. His sea-blue ones didn't give away his thoughts. He came closer and closer. Then he whispered in your ear ´see you soon´. You could just feel him smirk. Then he ran off as fast as he could, but not before licking a thick stripe up your neck.

[itsdaggerandsheath]

A Discussion of Purity Culture (Part 1)

               TW: Mild mentions of sexual abuse/rape

This is gonna be a long one so buckle up.

So, for those of you who don’t know (which is most of you), I am a Christian. Now, this doesn’t just mean that I grew up in a Christian family that brought me to church every week as a child; I am now an adult, and I still very much worship the Lord and believe in (most of) the Gospel. Yet, as you can tell by my blogs and my Instagram page, I also heavily believe in comprehensive sex education. Now, I’m sure some of you have met plenty of Christians who are sexually active and who believe in instilling good sex education as well, and I hope you have met people like this because the Christians that don’t believe in good sex education (among various other things) make the rest of us look like idiots. Which is why the rest of you are probably shocked that someone who self-identifies as a Christian woman wants to pursue a career in sex education. The two of them definitely seem to contradict.

               While I don’t necessarily feel the need to defend myself to any of you as I am happy with being both a believer in Christ and in comprehensive sex education, I do realize that to those of you who are shocked at me revealing this about myself, an explanation would be…intriguing to you. So, I will explain how I maintain a certain level of homeostasis between my Christian beliefs and my beliefs on sexuality…in Part 2. For now, though, I simply want to tell you all the story of my experience with purity culture thus far so I can catch you all up to speed. Then, in Part 2, I’ll tell you all what I’m doing to try and overcome it.

               I suppose that I should probably explain what exactly “purity culture” is for those of you who may not know. Purity culture stems from the group of people (primarily Christians in America, but many other religions share in this culture as well) that believe that sex should only be for a heterosexual married couple. They believe that if you have sex before marriage you are, well, “impure” in some way. You’re tarnished. Your worth as a human being goes down. No one will want to be with you if you’ve already been sexual with someone else. “No one wants to chew gum that’s already been chewed,” is a popular one that I’ve heard. They worship the concept of virginity, and believe that your virginity is a physical state of being that should only be taken away from you by your spouse, and your spouse is then the only person you should have sex with for the rest of your life.

               Now, here’s the thing: if you legitimately want to wait until you’re married or in love to have sex, and it’s a choice that you are making for yourself that no one else is making for you, that’s fine! That’s totally valid. Abstinence is always an option, but it shouldn’t be forced upon anyone. I for one always knew that I wanted to wait until I was in love to have sex for the first time, which I did, but I knew from a very young age that I was not going to wait until marriage – and I didn’t.

               Let me explain to you the kind of church environment I grew up in. For the most part, it really wasn’t that conservative. You didn’t have to dress up or be “proper” in any way; every church I’ve ever been to mostly consisted of people wearing T-shirts and jeans, maybe some of the women wearing a casual sundress or something like that, but everyone usually wore their typical, casual, everyday wear. And there was a lot of diversity too! Lots of different skin colors, single people, people in relationships, married people with children and married people with no children; people of all ages and careers and positions in life. Hell, I even was allowed to be on my current church’s worship team as a singer, and I had bright blue hair at the time. I have tattoos and piercings and am still a little bit emo, but my pastor said, “Come as you are!” which is something that I still to this day think is really beautiful and really important.

               But it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Some things just didn’t quite make sense. For example, my church has stated that, while people in the LGBTQ+ community are welcome inside our church at any time, they don’t “agree with or promote the lifestyle”. If you’ve had an abortion, you won’t be shunned or kicked out or anything like that – you’ll still be welcomed with open arms, but the church won’t “agree with the choice you made”. I could give several more examples, but I think you get the picture. Another thing that my church emphasizes is remaining abstinent until marriage, which is what I’ll be focusing on here. And man, my pastor is one of the kindest, most genuinely good-hearted people I’ve ever met in my entire life. But that almost makes the things that he and I disagree on suck that much more.

               Let’s talk about my childhood first. In Part 1 of my “An Introduction to Sex” series, I mentioned that my mom openly answered any questions that I had about sex as a child, but marriage was always emphasized. There was a time where I thought it was illegal to live together before marriage, and the idea of having children outside of marriage seemed biologically impossible. Then, when one of my cousins was born out of wedlock, I remember being wildly confused as to how it possibly could have happened. A couple years later, my dad and my would-be-stepmom moved in together years before they ended up getting married; and then, my own mother became pregnant out of wedlock by a man who is no longer in our lives. I love my little brother more than I love life itself; this now eight-year-old boy is the most important and precious thing in my life, but boy did he make a hypocrite out of my mother for a little while.

               As I got older, even after my brother had been born, my mother continued to urge me to wait until marriage to have sex, in hopes that I would avoid “making the same mistakes she did”. When I first started dating my current partner, I remember being in the car with my mom when she told me this. She also told me that the first time you have sex it hurts, and she told me that males get “blue balls” when they’re horny, and “once you start you can’t stop because it hurts them”. To this day I still wonder, was she just trying to manipulate me into staying abstinent, or did she really believe that? If she did really believe it, what did it say about the men she’d been with in the past? Was she ever forced to do something sexually that she wasn’t comfortable with because some loser guy had told her she’d given him blue balls? Did my own father ever do that to her?

               Let’s not think about that right now.

               As I said before, while I was never planning on waiting for marriage, I did want to wait for love. Which I did. I fell in love with my current partner hard and fast almost three years ago. Part of me wishes that I could go back; if I’d known that “losing your virginity” is not the huge, life-changing event that I’d been raised to believe it was, I wouldn’t have been nearly as nervous. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, balancing myself against the sink in my partner’s bathroom as he told his mom we were going out for ice cream, which is not what we were going out to do, if you catch my drift. I stood against the sink shaking with nervous excitement. It’s not that I wasn’t ready, I was – and if I wasn’t, I would have had no problem telling my partner that. But I thought that I would wake up the next morning different. I thought that this was going to change my life. I thought I was going to be a new person when this was all said and done. So, I stood against the sink and tried to memorize every line and freckle on my face, as if I wouldn’t be looking at the same face in the mirror the next morning.

               I woke up the next morning to find that nothing had changed.

               I remember wondering if we had had sex wrong, because I was convinced that I was supposed to be different in some way because of everything that I’d been told about “losing your virginity” all my life. I wasn’t sore. I really didn’t feel any different. I certainly didn’t look different. I didn’t have a “glow” to me. I thought my mom would be able to tell just by looking at me, or that my fellow churchgoers would know. I walked into the church early that morning for practice as I was still on the worship team at the time and was almost stunned that none of them had figured it out.

               This was one of the first big realizations I had in realizing that most of what I’d been told about sex growing up was bullshit.

               My partner and I really hadn’t been dating for that long, and we were still getting to know each other. My partner didn’t grow up going to church, but he saw that my faith was important to me and wanted to understand better, so he asked if he could come to a service just to see what it was like. I of course said yes, and we planned a Sunday for him to come with me and my family.

               The first time he ever came to church with me, the sermon was about abstinence.

               My pastor had never delivered a sermon on abstinence before. It of course just so happened to be when I brought my first serious relationship to church for the first time. I never wanted to crawl in a hole and die as much as I did that day.

               Now, my pastor actually made a lot of good points, as the sermon wasn’t just on abstinence, but rather sex in general. He said a lot about how we need to end sexual abuse and how men in the church need to stop treating women like objects and how big of a problem human trafficking is about the world – I totally agree with all of that, as I’m sure you all do too. But the underlying message was abstinence. If everyone remained abstinent until marriage, all of those problems would disappear! Fair point (kind of) but very unrealistic. And what about marital rape? What about people who don’t want to get married?

               My pastor has never claimed to be right all the time, nor has he ever claimed to have all the answers, which I appreciate about him. And while I don’t think he was entirely correct in delivering this sermon, I can’t say it didn’t have an impact on me. All I wanted was to get out of there and profusely apologize to my partner that I’d dragged into this. When we finally did get out, I remember feeling sick to my stomach with guilt – but not guilt over the fact that I’d become sexually active when it was supposedly “unholy” to do so, quite the contrary: I felt guilty for not feeling guilty about having sex. Does that make sense? I loved my new sex life! My mom always said that she felt ashamed that she’d had sex before marriage; I didn’t feel ashamed. But I felt like there was something wrong with me, that I should have felt guilty, but didn’t. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty, which was one of the most fucked up emotions you can have about something I know now I’m supposed to enjoy.

               Did you know that only 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex? That is, assuming everyone in that 3% is telling the truth. This means that, statistically, out of the 200 people in the church that day, only 6 of them had waited until marriage to have sex. That’s only three couples.

               My pastor never delivered a sermon on sex again. It was not received well by those in the congregation who had had children out of wedlock or thought that the intention of the sermon was to make people feel guilty – which my pastor claims it wasn’t and hey, maybe that really wasn’t his intention, but I’m not surprised that it made a lot of people feel guilty. Then a teenage couple in the congregation got pregnant a few months later, and I’m not judging them (and neither did anyone in my church as most of the people who attend are very nice), but it did sort of drive the nail that much further into the coffin.

               My partner and I managed to brush off the embarrassment of the abstinence sermon…eventually. It did take him several months to every come to church with me again, and can you blame him? I’m surprised he ever came again at all. Anyway, as I continued to be sexually active, I decided that it would be a good idea to get on birth control to help with pregnancy prevention. My mother was so engulfed with purity culture though, I was afraid that she’d say no or even prevent me from seeing my partner (I was still a minor at the time) if she were to find out that I was having sex.

               So, I decided to ask my atheist dad and stepmom for help.

               They were lovely, and a great help! They talked to me, talked to my mom, and with their help, I was able to muster up the courage to ask my mom if I could get on birth control, which, to my great surprise, she said yes.

               After getting the prescription, my mom sat down with me and had a long talk with me about how, even if she and I don’t necessarily agree on everything, she just wanted me to talk to her and be open and honest with her. She told me that if I’d asked her about birth control even without the help of my dad and stepmom, she’d have said yes. She revealed to me that she’d taken birth control when she was my age too (gee, that would’ve been nice to know) and said if I had any questions about it, I could always ask he

               Wow! What a great reaction! I remember at the time thinking that this was such a cool thing for my mom to say to me. Surely, everything from then on out was fine and I was able to kind of get out of the purity culture world, right?

               Nope.

               See, I forgot to mention – even though my mom didn’t wait for marriage with my dad or her dumbass ex that became the father of my half-brother…she and my stepdad did wait until marriage. Which doesn’t make sense because neither of them were “virgins” because they’d already been married before. They claimed that they were simply “doing things in the right order” by not having sex until the wedding night and not moving in together until after the honeymoon. So now my mom tries her absolute hardest to bring up the fact that by doing so, she was being a good influence on her children and hopes that we would follow in her footsteps and wait for marriage.

               So, the fact that I didn’t do this was seen as an act of rebellion. Despite my mom telling me she just wanted me to talk to her, she takes every opportunity to rub it in my face that I’m “not a virgin” anymore.

               Examples? Well, a couple years ago, a few months after I’d first started taking a new birth control pill, I’d started bleeding long before I was supposed to get my period. I knew that it was probably my body just having a reaction from being on a new pill, but I went to the immediate care just in case. I’d called my mom because she was at work and couldn’t come with me – but by this time I was eighteen and could go by myself, I just figured I’d call her and tell her what was up because she said I could talk to her, remember? At first, she was very reassuring because she knew I was nervous, saying, “You’ll be okay, don’t worry. Just go to the front desk and tell them what’s going on – they have our insurance on file, there shouldn’t be a copay. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about, thank you for calling to let me know.”

               That was a decent thing of her to say, right? Then she said more.

               “They might have to do a pelvic exam, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. It might be a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt because you’re not a virgin.”

               Thanks, Mom.

               But the most recent fiasco was icing on the cake. It went a little something like this: quarantine has been very hard on me and my family. My little brother doesn’t understand his E-learning and throws temper tantrums when he’s upset, and sometimes my mom will throw a temper tantrum right back. I had my own school work to do as I’m a university student and my school sent us all home, so I had to move back in with my parents and do my classes online at the dining room table. But it’s a little hard to get work done when I can hear my mom and brother screaming at each other downstairs, and it’s even worse when my stepdad joins in. And to top it all off, an old friend of mine was unexpectedly killed in a car accident, and due to the Covid-19 guidelines, I couldn’t go to her funeral.

               My partner has an apartment a state over near his university that is not the school’s property, so he didn’t have to move out of it, but he came back to our hometown to stay with his parents. He did this to be with his family during this weird and difficult time, but also to be near to me in the event of an emergency and also so we could have social distancing dates. However, as time went on, he came to realize that he left some things in that apartment that he needed or would have been useful to have (like food, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, etc.) and he pondered crossing the state boarder to go and get everything.

               Unfortunately for him, no one in his family was willing to help him with this endeavor, so once it was safe and legal to cross state boarders in our area, I offered to go with him (we were very careful, we wore masks and washed our hands frequently, and once we were in the apartment, we didn’t’ leave).

               Now, I’d been to this apartment in the past. Whenever my partner and I felt the need to get away from school, our families, whatever it may be, this tiny apartment in the city was a haven for us to get away from it all. However, my mom hates it when I go to the apartment with him and stay the night because, in her eyes, sleeping with someone (even if it doesn’t involve sex, just sleeping next to your unmarried partner in general) is immoral. So, I don’t stay the night with my partner very often just so I don’t have to hear my mom bitch about it. But this time, I really needed to get away from everything going on in my house and my life, and my partner and I knew that moving the things out of his apartment would take time, so it just made sense to stay the night anyway.

               The thing is, I did tell my mom that he and I were going to stay in the apartment overnight. I believe my exact words were, “We’re gonna go stay in the apartment tonight”.

               This was a Friday, so we went to the apartment, packed up what we wanted to pack up, then came home on Saturday. Rather than going home, I went with my boyfriend to his family home in our hometown and helped him unpack, then spent the rest of the day with him.

               At ten o’clock Saturday night, I received the following text from my mom (apart from eliminating mine, my sister and my partner’s names for privacy reasons, this is verbatim what she said):

               “Hi babe. Since I didn’t see you all day I’ll assume you’re safe with (partner’s name here). You said you guys were going to his apartment last night but nothing about spending the night. Thank you for just assuming that was ok, not asking permission, and giving me the lovely experience of answering questions this morning from both of your siblings. I love you more than anything (my name here)…I hope you’ve had a good day and I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”

               Atrocious, right?

               Now, I did tell my mom that I was going to be spending the night the previous night, so I figured that there must have just been some miscommunication, which I then apologized for:

               “Mom, I did tell you that we were going to spend the night, I’m sorry if there was some kind of miscommunication but I did make sure to mention we were staying over.”

               Now, any rational mom would think to herself, “Oh, man, maybe there was a miscommunication after all! Maybe I’m not right all the time and should take my child’s words into account!”

               Nope. She said:

               “Not sure when…considering we were in the front room with (my sister’s name here) when you said you guys were going to his apartment in Chicago, but ok. I’d still like you to think about what you’d like to say to your brother when he asks. Night baby.”

               P A T H E T I C

               Let’s analyze this a bit further, shall we?

               Let’s say you have a child (who actually isn’t a child and is an adult, but whatever) who you thought would be returning home in the morning and didn’t. What’s the first thing you’d do if you were legitimately worried about their location and their wellbeing? I don’t know, maybe CALL THEM? But did my mom do this? No. Which means she didn’t actually care about where I was or what I was doing or why I hadn’t come home; she cared about our image and explaining by supposed bad behavior to my siblings – an eight year old boy and an autistic woman, neither of whom asked me anything about this event in the following days.

               Next, I communicated the idea of a miscommunication. Maybe I misspoke! Maybe I made a mistake! You’d think that she’d reciprocate this. Maybe she misheard. Maybe she misunderstood. Maybe don’t throw your other kid with autism (my sister) into the mix. Maybe entertain the idea that you could have been wrong and that maybe I did tell you I was staying the night with my partner and you just blocked out what you didn’t want to hear.

               Next, she acted like I did this scandalous and awful thing that my siblings would have all kinds of questions about when literally neither of them gave a single shit.

               But the best part? This text conversation was the night before Mother’s Day, and she sent it to me right before she went to bed so that I wouldn’t be able to argue with her about it, and what kind of daughter would I be to start a fight with my mom on Mother’s Day? She strategized this conversation so that she could have the last word.

               Bruh.

               She made herself out to be such a victim. How dare I go spend the night with my boyfriend! What will the children say?! Nothing. Literally nothing. Because I did nothing wrong.

               So, let’s get into my concluding thoughts.

               I know, finally, right? This has definitely been my longest blog to date.

               I love my family, I do. I love my church and the people in it. Do I agree with every message that’s being spread? No, absolutely not. But it is possible to see the good in people even if you don’t actually agree with everything that they say. And I love my mom, but the way that she behaves when it comes to me being sexually active is bullshit. I know it could be worse – there are places where having sex before marriage is punishable by death. Arranged child marriages are still a thing. So my mom getting on my nerves is certainly a first world problem, but it’s still not something that I should have to deal with, right?

               Having realized that the culture that I’ve been raised in is bullshit, I’m trying to move forward with my life and keep my head held high, but how? Especially during a time where I’ve been forced to move home with my parents? How can I continue to maintain my relationship with the Lord while trying to escape this toxic purity culture? Luckily, I received some great advice from my last therapist on how to do just that, which I will be happy to tell you all about…in Part 2.

               In the meantime, I love you all, and please stay safe.

-          Dagger and Sheath

[zeravmeta]

Actually since that ask has me thinking on some more Yugioh x Fate parallels, heres my long winded tangent on how Zarc from Arc V classifies as a Beast of Humanity and Ray as an Avenger Class Servant

Zarc:

-was originally a normal human who through the arrogance and cruelty of humanity in wanting him to hurt other people became a monster intent on destroying humanity in the same type of death game he was subjected too

-beast class beings are "empowered by civilization" and grow in power in proportion to the advancement of humanity. they also appear in the same way that servants are and can exhibit their own fantastical abilities by the same way heroic spirits can. Zarc was literally created from a combination of advanced solid vision technology and duel monster spirits in his four dragons, which is part of why the universe was split when he was defeated, he had literally become a fundamental force of the universe when his existance joined both the human world and the duel monster dimension

-Zarc was able to completely fight off all of humanity by himself and was only able to be defeated by a weapon created to be his perfect antithesis by stripping him of the impurities and cruelties that made him, but even then he couldn't truly be destroyed because he had become ingrained as a part of the universe. his soul only truly moved on when he could see that humanity wouldnt make another like him again

-all beast class beings are defeated by having humanity overcome their own "evils" through defeating them and preventing humanity from stagnating (which is actually part of what happened in the Original Dimension, with humanity being ok with bloodsport matches). Goetia was fully defeated when he acknowledged that humanity doesnt need to be overseen or put down, Kiara and Kama are defeated by having their "love" rejected and shown to be wrong, even Primate Murder/Fou was technically defeated when by witnessing all of humanity, he didnt turn into a horrifying monster but rather came to love the people he's traveled with for so long that he gave up his sentience to revive his friend. Zarc was fully defeated when his reincarnation showed him a new path towards making people smile, and in doing so promising that no one will suffer like he did ever again

-the beast class cant be overcome by any one human: Ray was only able to split him apart and it was with the help of Yuya and everyone in the new Pendulum Dimension acknowledging their mistakes that he was able to rest.

-the beast class beings arent based solely around the 7 sins, since what created Zarc was the cruelty and indifference of an audience that loved to see him slaughter. He would be the Beast of Savagery, born of humanitys inherent cruelty

Ray:

-avenger class servants arent the natural enemies of humanity, rather theyre entities of revenge that were betrayed to the point where their rage runs eternal against humanity

-from the little we do know about Ray, the only person she really cared about was her father, who because of the auidence pushing Zarc too far, she almost lost when he volunteered to activate the En Cards

-beast class beings have a damage reduction modifier against avenger class servants, which makes sense because Beasts are attributes of humanity pushed to their absolute extreme, while avengers exist as envoys of revenge made to cull the aspects of humanity that wronged them. Ray, in a way, is taking revenge against Zarc for what he did to the Original Dimension by establishing herself as his natural enemy

-Ray, much like avengers, really does want to believe in the people who wronged them. All avenger servants are such because they were wronged first, but even in their lines you can see that despite their hatred of humanity, they still want to live without their eternal hatred, and any animosity Ray may have had towards Zarc was lost long ago when in splitting themselves she was how Zarcs "natural state" was three boys who wanted to make people happy and one who was likely the same but lost to her fathers grief. You can even see it with Rays insistance that Zarc, despite everything, was a good person caught in a bad situation

[solatiu-blog]

"So you were here." The woman said, annoyance in her expression. She was fifty five years old, yet she looked much younger, her long hair, completely white, her eyes like amber. Her skin was so pale she could have been a statue. Her slender and tall figure judges at the one in front of her even when nothing has happened yet. Her right hand holds a long and light sword, the tip hanging just a couple of inches above the ground. Her clothes were completely white, light robes decorated with a gold colored belt around her waist. "What a lucky rat you turned out to be."

She adds, muttering those words like they were more for herself than the woman in front of her. Frowning, she directs the tip of her sword to the other. "Punishment shall befall on you now, we all have to pay for our sins eventually, and this is your time."

Blue eyes look back at her, hiding the pain those words inflict. The girl looks at the ground for a moment, her own sword barely touching it, the grip on her weapon loosening slightly. She doesn't really get it. Why is she facing this woman again? The pale skin of her cheeks get colored by a faint red, but not as a sign of embarrassment.

But of anger.

"My sins?" She asks quietly, the grip on the rapier she holds tightening again. The question itself gives her energy, it makes her blood boil. Her pale blonde hair falls gently over her tense shoulders. She bites her lower lip, looking back at the older woman. She knows she is not a saint and even at such age as thirty three years old can be, she has done things she is not proud of, mostly though, because there was not much else to choose from. She diverts her sight to make a question. "... Did you pay for yours?"

Such words only trigger surprise on the older woman, at least at first, only to be replaced by turbulent rage afterwards. She frowns deeply, showing her teeth.

"Insolent brat, who do you think you are to talk to me like that? Do you think having an important role now gives you the right to ask such a thing?!" She snaps, taking one step forward. "You betrayed me and yet you dare to call on my mistakes to make yours look less severe on God's eyes?! Do you think you can lead His army when your soul is such an impure monstrosity?!" She continues, taking even another step forward, though, the younger one is frozen in place, her blue eyes open as much as possible. She is barely breathing, like she was just stabbed in the chest. After a few seconds she reacts, her lips pressing tightly only to try and hold her emotions inside. Her eyes burn, hot tears forming threatening to fall down her cheeks.

Impure.

It was true, her body and soul were both impure. Nobody would be able to stay pure after being manipulated, dragged, used and abused by so many people. But was that her choice? Of course not, it wasn't, all she wanted was a calm life like most people do, but she was too young to understand, and those key decisions, the ones that would twist her future years were made by someone else.

And that someone, was the woman in front of her.

Her heart beats violently inside her chest, she can hear it like it's inside her head. Deep breathing is just an unfruitful attempt to keep herself calm, but there is no way such a trivial method could work when the wound cuts so deep.

"You --!" She starts, lacking of breathe to continue, having to pause her words for a second before resuming her words "You betrayed me! You left me alone when I needed you the most! And yet you're saying I'm the traitor! How blind can you be by your own selfishness to leave your own daughter behind like it's just a rag?! Is really the money you got more valuable than the life of your own blood?!" She asks, her voice wavering to then stop. She needs a moment to breathe, agitated. To mentally recover. She makes the mistake of closing her eyes, only for a few seconds to then feel the burning pain the impact on her left cheek left behind. Her head, slightly turned to the side stays like that. The older woman also remains in the same position, rage in her expression, but even when she could have landed a lethal blow with her sword, she doesn't. She only looks at the younger woman, her golden eyes bright. Her right hand, the one that hit the other, remains in the air, suspended. Like time just stopped.

"You're right, you're worth much less than all that gold." She says and a soft smirk appears on her face "Because you're worth nothing at all" she adds. The other feels like a hole just opened in her chest. She just looks at the woman in front of her, disbelief on her face even though she could have expected such sharp words to come at her. But... Did she really do something as bad as to deserve such treatment?

The woman lowers her hand, looking at her daughter with disdain.

"You have his eyes." She says, like she just spat poison on a prey. "You dare to use my beauty at your advantage, and yet you have those disgusting eyes."

After such words she turns around to start walking.

"I'll spare your life, but only once, take it as charity towards an orphan." She says and stops only to look at the young girl over her shoulder "Get out of my way. If you keep meddling in this war, I'll take your life away myself."

She finishes and starts walking again.

The younger woman freezes in anger, paralyzed by the intensity of the feeling. Clenching her jaw, she turns her hands into fists, so tight her nails hurt pressing against her skin.

"If I had your eyes, I would have popped them out of my face myself." She says, such words making the older woman stop in her tracks. The young one cries silently, abundant tears falling down her cheeks. Warm, it's the only source of warmth she can feel right now.

"I'D RATHER BE BLIND THAN HAVING TO SEE YOU EVERYTIME I LOOK IN A MIRROR!!" She states and pauses only to come back with more strength, rage driving her forward, giving her strength "I won't rest, I won't rest until I win this war, and see you, you and only you, kneeling in front of me, begging for your life."

[twinfanfics]

The tale of the three head beast: the marching fishes (10/21)

Second part of the tale of the three head beast series, our extra large Digimon Game of thrones Au, you can read the first part The chosen children Here and here, or look for the tag  3t3hb  on this blog.

And you can read all past chapters of the marching fishes in the links below

ACT 1. ESCENE 1: THE RAIN

ACT 1. ESCENE 2: THE WILL  

ACT 1. ESCENE 3: THE TRIP

ACT 1. ESCENE 4:THE SON

ACT 2. SCENE 1: THE ARRIVAL

ACT 2. SCENE 2: BROTHERHOOD

ACT 2. SCENE 3: MOTHER | **warning suicide attempt**

ACT 2. SCENE 4: THE BATTLE OF THE IKKAKU ISLAND

ACT 3. SCENE 1: THE INTERROGATION

ACT 3. ESCENE 2:  DELIVERY 

His stomach hurt, god, he didn't remember the time of his last meal, it doesn´t matter; everything in his mouth taste like ashes, his hands sweat and his head feel like a ticking bomb, every light was to bright, every sound was to loud.

Joe had lost everything, his children, his wife, his son…

Taichi speak nonsenses since the throne, since Joe´s throne, funny how he continues to lost things: his Kingdom, his authority, his sanity

What time it was? what day? it´s feel so much like to the old days, those days he had lost everything too.

His brothers, his youth, his freedom

Each one of his brothers went to war and comes back in a black coffin; the old island war; the cold King again Genai the usurper; How many children of the island died in the old war?

The war would take his children too? he alloud himself to think about Davis,noble and carefree Davis, big mouth Davis, the kid with endless energy, the boy who eat every meal as if it would be his last, traitor Davis, hostage Davis.

“Can i speak with him?” he wish to sound less desperate, less concern

“I don't think that would be a good idea” Yamato speak as a friend, still Joe could see Davis blood over his knuckles

Yamato, the one that he had never lost, yet.

Sometimes, in the rainy days when Ken was still a boy and brood around the castle with his black cloak and heavy books Joe usually recall about Yamato; and treats him with the same patient and comfort that he would treat his old friend; in another life when Ken would become enough skill with the sword Joe would send him away to the capital; to train with his best friend, to learn for the masters and be the best swordsman of the land.

In the life that they had lost

“Your Sea Majesty, Jou, Jou!”  his response was slow and confuse “Jou, the king of all land ask you a question”

The King watch him with impatien; it has to be something about the heirs, they where so use to be instantly obey, that make them temperamental, a mistake that Joe made with his own son, and sadly with Iory.

No, he don't want to think about Iory

“Davis said that Iory Hida is prepare to surrender” but since when did he get what he want? “That somehow is his Master who refuse give up, do you know anything about  this master? we don't have to much information about him” Beside been next to him their voices sounds like an ecco

But Joe negate with head, he has no energy to think about Ryo Akiyama; Iory wants to surrender, a marvelous new, the prodigy son could still do the right thing. If they defeat Ryo the children would surrender, and then what?  He look at the blood in the hands of his friend one more time

“We cannot make the same mistake twice” Yamato speak with the hate in his voice answering a question that Joe was afraid to ask “Even if they surrender we cannot forgive them”

“They are children” They are my children

“ They were children, they are men now, men who betrayed you, they attack  the King!” his blue eyes doub for an instand “If we give them the oportunity they are gonna kill you Joe, i will not give them that oportuity”

The silent embrace the room, Joe knows that Yamato only has good intentions and the guilt hit him, he wish that he was willing to stop him, if Yamato where his knight a simple order will be enought. Why Yamato agree to serve Taichi was a mystery for him.

“Do you have any idea where the rebels are hiding?”  Taichi interrump what it feel like a private moment

Ideas? He has plenty of ideas, tousan of theories but just one that make sense “The swarm”

“The swarm!” Yamato recall “of course” and along with him jump over the map that hang out the wall; Taichi look at them in confusion “Is a group of small island in the south; they are many, at least a dozen, but the ground is rocky and infertile, access is dangerous if you do not know the place, but is the perfect hide”

Joe hate the way Yamato talk to the King, as if he was an ignorant child, a sweetness that was unusual in him

“That is the place to which we must move our troops” Taichi celebrated

Joe despise how the King look at his friend, as if he belonged to him, as if he was one of his properties.

“But we must be careful, they must have lookouts on the routes, those are dangerous waters”

The hand of the King travel to his knight shoulder “I'm sure you can manage it” fondly eyes and meaningful smiles, they move together in a synchrony that was ridiculous; again they remind him to his lost children: Ken and Davis use to move like that too.

A thought that make him feel like the most stupid man alive,  a sudden revelation that snap him back to reality, he knew Yamato, he knew his past and his hearth, be the lover of a upper class gentleman was no strange behavior for him, but this…  he cursed the ocean and the sea

He stand out as tall as he was “For how long?”

“Well i hope not to much” Taichi´s smile offended him “i mean.. we want to end this war as soon as possible right?”

But Yamato notice his change of attitude, and for Joe annoyance he put himself between he and the King.

Maybe the revelation wouldn´t hurt that much if it wasn´t for the lies, the hypocrisy, Taichi, the king of the light, the light who persecute and imprison impures...

“Joe what´s wrong?” Yamato try to approach to him but Joe shake and come far from them, he can´t even look at his friend anymore

“Sora knows?” he try to yell “did she?” memories of the dozen of letters he share with his dear friend flash before his eyes, her loneliness, the rumours about her health...

Taichi´s grin broke down “How do you know? i mean.. what are you talking about? “

The smartest thing would have been to keep quiet, keep his suspicions to himself, avoid claims to the most powerful man in the continent “You know very well what i´m talking about Taichi Yagami!” but he has lost his patient too “You are a fraud, you broke the votes you made to your so acclaim god”

Taichi stay stuned by Joe accusations

“You don't even denied, did any law mean anything to you?” Joe try to make sense in his mind, both of his hand rest over the table, “Do you think you own him? that…. that you can use people like him just because you have power over them!”

“He is not using me!” Yamato reacts “Its not like that, please stop!”

Joe turn to him, no longer avoiding his eyes “I expect more from you”

His words hit the Knight more than any sword did before, Yamato clench his teeth and contain the sorrows “Well… that was your mistake”

“who are you to judge him? you…” the king yell at him ” Everything you own has been earning by his hand, he fought for you! he Killed for you! he won for you! you are not alloud to… you  have no right…”

“You have no idea what are you talking about”

“You either,  you think you know him better than me? Do you know that he spent these years pleading  to come to your rescue? he was so sure all of this was too much for you "

Joe take a stept back, was than true? a look at Yamato and he knows  Taichi was right, but the rage has no disappear “You have a wife”

“You too! but if you ask me you see more concern about those ungrateful bastards that you call your children than for your actual family!”

If he could, he would hide behind the table, close the curtains of the windows and demand everyone to leave him alone, Taichi dealt a fatal blow to the little that remained of his emotional stability.

“They are the ones who need to be saved, you do not know mimi, she ... she is an extraordinary woman, I have no doubt that she has the strength to ... to protect our son and herself; and despite everything I trust that Iory will not allow them to hurt her "by saying it out loud, with Yamato and Tai judging him, he realized that he sounded even more foolish than when he repeated it to himself.

A nock of the door force them to calm down, or at least pretend to be

“Sir, I´m so sorry” Kouji enters the room with a small chest between his hands “A letter from the rebels and this” The three of them rush into the package, Taichi took the letter that was address to the Sea King

“They demand that we free the Ikkaku Island and thet we release Davis, a proof that we are serius… what they mean by that?”

Joe open the chest and his world collapse

He lost control, he lost hope, and dear god on the abyss Mimi lost an eye

“We are not gonna surrender, they are blaffing, this is a sig of desperation” Yamato try in vain to encourage him while Taichi make an efford to not trow up.

Ryo finally was showing his cards, this must be his work, Iory was burning the ships, who knows who else would drag him along.

“My son…” he barely speak  before  storm out of the room

“follow him” Taichi order “and Yamato…” he came closer  “make sure he doesn't make or said anything stupid”

.

.

.

Yamato found him on his room, crying and shaking

“I would found them “ Joe look at him, without worried for hiding his tears “I would keep my promise, i would save the queen and the Prince” he sit next to him “you know i will”

“Do i?” a bitter laught “I don't know who you are anymore”

“Or you do” Yamato lay down “ I don't need to tell you anything, you just know…”

“Still it would had been nice if you just told me” but he smile with an apologize between his libs, just as he use to do, and a tiny light of hope ignite inside of him; that was Yamato, his defender, his friend, maybe they could save his family, all of them “What about Iory and Ken?”

“Taichi doesn´t understand your fixation with those kids, Joe… to be honest me either…”

“And i don't understand your fixation with the King, He is... “

But all  hope crumbled as soon as it appeared, three words and Joe knew Yamato would never been in his side again

“I love him” and even worse “And.. i think he loves me”

Such a profound declaration, a much more horrified secret  

“Yamato… this is not right” such a waste of words, Yamato has done so much for others in the name of respect, honor, friendship, but love? he knew, sadly, that Yamato has never feel loved before.

Now there was nothing in the world that Yamato was not able to do for Taichi

He had lost his friend, just like he had lost everything else

“But I understand ” he lied “ I´ll not said anything, i just need to be alone for a while, please, i´m sure that you have a lot of things to get ready before the assault to the swarm”

With a smile Yamato leave him alone, and Joe waits impatien until the door close behind him and he hear his steps go far away for rush to his suitcase, he took his arrow and bow  and carefully, afraid and decided he sneak out of his own castle.