#even if the dal is way too salty

[startrekprodigyfan]

A mini rant

I really wish tumblr fans and YouTube react channels would latch on to Star Trek Prodigy. Every week I’m reminded that so many of the people who “officially” review Star Trek content in general online have absolutely NO understanding of the young adult animation landscape.

Countless reviews gripe that the episodes are “too short,” while simultaneously missing all the key details they normally pay attention to in Star Trek because their mindset is still that of animation = for babies. They are so unwilling to engage with the media as it’s presented.

They’re definitely not familiar with the way most animated shows are written these days, where larger story beats are given out bit by bit and writers allow them to come together organically, rather than spoon fed to you upfront.

How many reviewers criticized Dal for being “unlikable” only to walk that back after the Kobiashi episode? How many reviewers complained it was “too much like Star Wars” after only the first episode and didn’t allow the show to even introduce the Trek content? Unwilling to give the character a chance to grow because they didn’t like his starting place?

I’m still salty about reviewers complaining in Dreamcatcher “why didn’t they use the transporter?” despite the show literally telling them that there was a certain type of radiation which is notorious for interfering with transporters. That’s the techno-babble jargon these types of reviewers should LOVE to sift through, but they ignored it and dismissed it and called it a “plot hole” because they don’t respect the intelligence of the writers and its intended audience.

And that’s a common theme I keep seeing. Just this past week it happened again with the Borg episode, where the reviewers complained about the Borg not using their nano-tubes ala First Contact despite the show intentionally referencing the end of Voyager. Instead of it being in line with established canon it’s written off as a way to make the Borg “less scary for kids.”

I don’t understand this seemingly collective amnesia from Trek fans who gloss over long standing established lore and only remember one or two things and forget everything else. I thought cataloguing all these details was one of the things Trekkies were supposed to be GOOD at!

Meanwhile… you wouldn’t see this dismissive attitude coming from young adult animation YouTube reactors. The people who obsess over The Owl House, Avatar, Korra, Amphibia, and Gravity Falls would pick up on those details IMMEDIATELY. They’d analyze the characters relationships, they ship the characters together, theorize about the time travel stuff, and be excited to get into a show like this! They’d ask a question, then the show would answer it, and they’d be like “oh cool! Now I understand!”

Where are my 2 hour long analysis videos about Dal and Gwyn’s relationship? Where are all the lgbt+ reviewers excited that Zero is non-binary? Where are all the reactors trying to protect Murf and Rok? Where are all the animation nerds geeking out over how amazing this show looks??? Where are my Diviner simps???? LOL

I don’t know how to spread my love of this show to other platforms like YouTube. I can’t make videos and I’m not gonna become a reactor. But if I have ANY sway here on tumblr… please, please, PLEASE, let other people who aren’t 50+ year old die-hard Trekkies find this show and start reacting to it!

Spread the word! This show is literally designed to get new people into Star Trek. I wanna see it! I wanna see these YouTuber react channels responding to this show with the same reverence and appreciation that they do for Gravity Falls and other young adult animated shows!

I wanna see people making crazy theories about time travel!

I wanna see people loving Dal’s growth as a character.

I wanna see people loving Gwyn’s sword.

I wanna see people fawning over Murf’s adorable-ness.

I wanna see people mothering Rok.

And more importantly… I wanna see people who’ve NEVER WATCHED Star Trek get into this show and say “I’m really loving Janeway, now I really wanna watch Star Trek Voyager too and see the real Janeway in action!”

These people exist. They’re out there. I know they do! I just have no idea how to reach them! So please, if you ever see a react channel asking “what should I watch next?” Please, please, PLEASE, recommend Prodigy! I fear that word of mouth is really the only way to do this now! Spread the word! Let people around you know how good this show is! Let more people find it! Let more people react to it! Help the show find the audience that seems to be completely missing it!

I love this show. I just want more people to get into it and create content for it! I do what I can here on tumblr, but I’m just one person. I can’t do it alone!

[theflatpancakes]

THE OUTSIDERS HEADCANONS CAUSE WHY NOT! 😀

(Includes sexualities and pronouns because why not)

Ponyboy:

Reads fanfic, like a concerning amount.

Gets really into a book or movie and goes to read the second one (if there is one) then loses all his interest in it half way through

Is surprisingly good at driving, but nobody trusts him to do so (even when they get older and he HAS a driver's license)

Can't cook for the life of him. Like He once tried to make instant noodles on the stove and they caught fire... 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳...

The only thing he 𝘤𝘢𝘯 make successfully is eggs. And he can only make those because Soda taught him when they were younger

Bisexual but doesn't know that it's a thing (Johnny was his bi awakening, lmao)

He/they

Sodapop:

The best at cooking out of the whole gang

Only knows stuff about cars due to Steve going on rants about them sometimes

He enjoys cooking for everyone, but Darry usually takes over for dinner due to Soda preferring to make sweet stuff and it can just get to be too much for everyone

^ As you can assume due to the last one, he's a sweets person. He LOVES sugar. His favorite combo is sweet and salty (based af)

The kind of person to dip his fries in his frosty at Wendy's (also based af)

Also Bi (Steve was 𝘩𝘪𝘴 bi awakening, lol)

He/him

Darry:

The second best at cooking.

^Taught soda when they were little and soon got surpassed in his cooking skills

Prefers savory, but sweet can be good every once in a while (By that I mean every morning with the chocolate cake)

Not a movie or book person, but if he had to choose one, it'd be books

Secretly, really close with Dally, they don't interact much compared to the rest of the gang, but when they do, they're basically inseparable.

Gets flustered/embarrassed surprisingly easily

Token cishet of the group (Heteroflexible, the only reason is he thinks that he may have had some slight feelings for Paul when they used to play football together. He/him)

Steve:

Even though he doesn't seem to care about Pony, he actually does.

Despite Soda being his best friend, Two-Bit is a close second

Him, Soda, and Two-Bit often go out together, and they both need Soda to be the mom friend if Darry isn't there

Gayass (homosexual af, mostly because of Soda)

He/him

Two-Bit:

Despite being one of the oldest of the gang, he's one of if not the most immature

He loves cooking but absolutely sucks at it

Perfectionist but is too lazy to clean and 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭 that perfectionism

Played with dolls when he was younger but always hid it from people.

^ The only person who knows is Dally, and he completely uses that as blackmail against Two

Cares way too much about everyone (especially Pony)

Had feelings for Dally when he [Dal] first came to Tulsa, but they slowly faded away over a few years

He says his sexuality is, "If there's a hole, there's a goal." (Exact words)

He/him

Dally:

Somehow becomes a successful author when he gets older??

Secretly enjoys books, reading, and writing, but nobody but him knows

^ Pony made a joke that was a reference to a book at one point, and Dally was the only one that got it. He cracked up a little at it, but nobody understood why (Pony kind of figured it out at some point lol)

Most mature aside from Darry

Admires Darry and wants to be like him. He beats himself up if he messes up in a way that Darry never would

He is Johnny and Pony's father figure, Pony doesn't realize it as he seems Darry as more of his father figure

^ By that, I mean he takes care of them like a father, mostly Johnny but often Pony as well

Can just sit down and eat a whole tub of raw cookie dough by himself with no problem, but regrets it an hour later when his stomach hurts. He still does it, though, every single time

Aggressively bisexual but would fuck anyone

He/him

Johnny:

Stays introverted and close to Dally his whole life

Has no self-control when it comes to sugary things/junk food

Never really hungry, but when he 𝘪𝘴 hungry he either eats everything in sight or a single cracker

Likes reading with Pony

Darry takes him in at some point when his parents became too much

Wears his jean jacket all the time, only takes it off to shower, change, or sleep

^ Barely ever washes that thing, somehow never gets it too dirty, though?? Like only dirt/grass stains

Likes planes, a lot

Often joins Dally in eating raw cookie dough

^ Once invited Pony to a cookie dough eating session, but he declined, as he didn't want to get sick

𝓜𝓮𝓷.

^ Enjoys being with Pony... if ya catch my drift 😏 (ITS A CRUSH NOT WHAT THE EMOJI IMLPYS AHAHGDJWJSJ)

He/him (but sometimes enjoys dressing/looking fem in private)

[rosepais]

His Mothers Pongal Recipe

I was adamant to be better than her. Trust me I was, until the day I prepared Pongal.

I was never a good cook, like most of us reading this. You are a good cook? Oh! Ok! Never mind. I am not one although my mom had the ability to cook for a crowd of hundred with outstanding taste and quantity, I on the other dumb struck route, completely contradictory to her traits had the ability to ruin even the simplest dish or beverage for that matter. I could make the food non-existent in the dish by completely burning it to its ashes. Sometimes, I could make a sweet dish salty, a spicy one sweet and on most occasions, on tasting what I prepared, my mother’s face would look blank. Those eyes said it all “My dear, I would appreciate it if you did not enter the kitchen”.

I got married.

Living with in-laws was Ok, not great but just fine, because it was no better than living with parents. The constant nagging and the comparison to other’s daughter in laws was a daily soap at their house.

Everything was tolerant until the day he said, “Why can’t you cook like my mom?” which soon followed by another voice at the end of the hallway “May be her mother has not taught her how to”. Not true, Mummy wanted me to learn, but eventually she thought saving the house from fire was more important. Like all wives out there, I wanted to prove to him, that I was better than his mother in all ways including cooking. I tried, and tried, until one day his mother begged me to stop. The family had not tasted good food for days.

We relocated.

Now was my chance to prove myself to him I thought. He looked nervous when I told him I would do everything to make him happy. Sadly, he lived to eat good food, he earned to eat and be merry, until the day he married me. Now he preferred TV more than food and we had a maid to fulfil my husband’s need to eat.

I became resentful.

I could not tolerate my husband praising the maid for her fine art of cooking. It all looked very easy. Just cut the vegetables, add a powder which is already ready, pour some water, put some Dal if required, salt to taste, and close the cooker. Watch it till it whistles 3 or 4 times and then turn it off and serve hot. I do the exact same things she does. Just that, I either forget something is on the stove, or I forget turn on the stove, and worst scenario was when I went shopping with the milk on the stove. When everything turned out to be just fine, he tasted it, and then he posed the exact same look my mother used to when she tasted what I cooked.

After a lot of practice my maid helped me realize, I was not adamant to learn the art of cooking, I already had it in me, I was adamant to be better than his mom and that is what led to fatal destructions even after years of practice. She was sweet unlike his mother; she helped me learn to concentrate while cooking.

She also taught me how to cook a decent dish and how to handle a disaster. She spent days helping me understand no one can be better than a Man’s mother. The Men live to Savor the dish cooked by the sweet palms of their Mothers. I huffed and turned my face. I said, NO, I can make him happy with my cooking too. All I needed was more practice.

3 years passed.

It was Valentine’s Day. I was exhausted on all the gifts in the market. Everything was said and done, all gifts were either costly or already given on various occasions than one. After a lot of thought, I remembered what his mother once slipped in between a conversation, “To make him really happy, I prepare Pongal”. That information right now was gold.

She had explained the entire process to me and I had written it down somewhere. The word “Make him really happy” was stuck in my head and this time I decided come what may, I will prepare it, but it would be tastier than hers. All I had to do was add more ghee, add more salt and add more of everything, and since it is Valentine’s, I just had to prepare it with love. I could not find the piece of paper. I may have left it back at his mother’s I thought. I did not want to call her up to ask her the recipe; I just did not want that at all. She would think, I am still of no good for her son. Which is of course true in terms of cooking, but not yet, I am working on it. And that day was my one last chance.

Mentally, I tried to remember, the ingredients to it. It was yellow in colour, so it is understood turmeric powder was required, salt of course and the black peppers. Rice, I guess and yes curry leaves and some mustard. Not sure about the onions, but it is ok. No one dies if they don’t eat one. Not one fraction of a second did my dumb head think, I could have asked my mother for a recipe and no one would know. I was adamant and that had done the job. A perfectly great Pongal which was completely burnt at the bottom because I was watching the Valentines special on channel V. TV is important, mind you, but why is that something is always burning while I am watching it?

Anyway, my maid had thought me a disaster recovery technique. I removed the rice that was un-burnt and moved it to a clean new dish. Switch on the exhaust fan to undo the stink and portray an innocent look like, nothing happened. Over the years I have learnt at such situations one must not panic. With Mc D’s and KFC’s just around the corner, why worry. I would have loved pizza instead of taking all this pain I thought, but no, I wanted to be better than her for once I wanted to. And I haven’t lost yet. I still had the un-burnt Pongal.

He came home with a bunch of flowers, and I was very happy. He had no clue the maid was not in that night. He was happy everything would turn out to be just fine. And so was I. Until I told him the Maid wasn’t in that night.

The ambiance of romance died down instantly, yet he was calm. With Mc D’s and KFC’s just around the corner, why worry he said! I said “Ah, Ah, Ahhh…. Not so soon Honey!!! Guess what, I cooked your favourite dish”.

He looked dazed as I held his hand to bring back the romance that non-existent in the atmosphere. He was resistant to surge forward, with a lot of coaxing; I convinced him that I am much better than I was when he married me. Because it was the Lovers Day he smiled and said “you were always the best darling” with a grin that was forced.

Any other day the dialogue would have been “Are you sure? No one can be better than my mom you know”.

I noticed him glance at the kitchen. I am sure he was checking if it is still standing. Everything was fine, and by the time he came home the exhaust had refreshed the stink. We kissed and hugged, and the ambience was perfect. I heard his stomach growl. He had a hard day at work and all he hoped for at that moment was food. I could not get the picture of his mother out of head though I tried, because deep within I knew I was bad at this, and I will continue the legacy until death. If not for TV it would have been perfect, I wondered, and hoped and prayed he does not realize it was burnt. I was immensely happy when he picked up a spoon to taste it. I was happy he dared to do the task, and was worried, he might discover.

He asked me lovingly if I had tasted it first. How could I forget? A cook never forgets. But who said I was a cook. I am an ordinary wife with ordinary dreams who prepared an ordinary dish to make her husband happy. I instantly posed an eye blinking innocent look and asked, “Err…No I did not, and why what happened?” (As if I did not know what happened. I love such moments)

“Nothing happened, but something is wrong with this. It is not like the way my mother prepares. Did you mean to prepare Pongal or something else sweetheart?”

Tears were on the edge. If he had spoken more than that, it would just flow for sure. I controlled my tears and hoped so much he was joking. He wanted to tease me for a while and then hug me and say, “It’s perfect, ALAS you have done it”. But that was not the case here. Something kept telling me that I have failed again. I picked up the spoon as he kept staring at the dish with a disastrous look on his face. I tasted it.

“You are right, something is wrong. I am unable to figure out what?”

“Are you sure you put everything in it? Where is that paper in which you wrote down the recipe from Mom?” “I lost it while shifting, but I remember the ingredients well. But this time I put more of everything. More pepper, more rice, more salt and more Love” My voice lowered for every word, and I threw myself in his arms and began to cry. For a minute there I sounded like an 8-year-old child.

He consoled me and said with a broad smile “Hey relax, I know what is missing” I lifted my head and wiped my nose and asked, “You do?”

Wiping my tears he said “Yes, it needs onions!!! See, there are no onions in there!” “I knew it; I knew I had to put onions. I am so sorry I forgot. I just wanted to be the best you know” I continued with tears which would not stop. Deep down I was sinking with thoughts of failure.

He had not sat down a minute from work. He put on my apron that had the words “Master Chef” printed on it and began chopping onions. He fried the onions and put it in the Pongal and we ate. Throughout I knew something else was missing. He spoke while eating “Oh!! There something else is missing”. My heart had stopped beating at this point. I wanted to throw the entire dish, forget what I had been through, accept the fact that his mother is the best and run to KFC.

“I don’t want to know. Can we please go to KFC? I promise I will never cook again”.

“It is missing your smile”. He said it so instantly and landed a tight kiss on my lips, I did not have time to cry or smile or even think for that matter.

“I don’t remember your mom putting a smile in the Pongal Mister Romance” I said after the romantic

ordeal. “That is why her Pongal never tasted as great as yours”.

It was the most romantic Valentine’s Day of my life. When the husband tells you that you are better than his mom, nothing compares to this kind of joy, this kind of elevated feeling. For a moment I felt I was flying along with my kitchen and all the vegetables. I really felt I was the best cook in the world.

The next day, I decided to make more food with smiles. I bought a notebook especially for the recipes and the first recipe I wrote down was “Pongal” with my name below it so that those who read it know it is my own recipe. At the last point I wrote do not forget your smile.

One day his mother visited.

I told her how I prepared Pongal and she smiled sarcastically. It looked like she said, "yeah Right!!!". She asked me lovingly what all you put. The woman is a sweetheart. I began to wonder why I am even competing!

I ran quickly and got my book. I wanted her to see the “More Love” and the “More Smile” ingredients. which she would not put. Clearly had you known me, you would have thought an 8-year-old behaves better.

Anyway, I was ecstatic and was waiting to see the jealousy on her face. I mean she is his mother. She had him first. She loved him first. Again, it is me we are talking about.

Husband was at work, and he had taken the risk of letting us be alone together to bond and here I was already working towards destroying it.

Page 1

“My Pongal Recipe”

Ingredients

» More Rice

» 1 tsp jeera

» 1 Onion

» 1 tsp peppercorns

» 1/2 tsp pepper powdered fresh

» More Cashew nuts broken

» More grated Coconut

» 1 table spoon of Turmeric powder

» Salt to taste

» More Ghee

» More Love and of course do not forget to smile

I was watching her eyes and was waiting for her reaction towards the end. She looked up without any expression of surprise, but had the element of sarcasm in her talk and asked “Where is Dal mentioned?

You did not add Dal???? Moong Dal??? Do you know what it is?? And no one puts Onions in Pongal”.

I have no words to explain how stupid I felt, how dumb I was standing in front of that woman that day who knew everything about ingredients. She was a perfectionist. She was the actual Master Chef. I gave her my apron and decided to humble down and learn decent cooking from her. We bonded the minute I humbled myself.

She smiled at me for the first time and said so lovingly “it is Ok; I did not know cooking either. His Mother taught me how to. But no matter how hard I try, he keeps complaining, it is just not as

good as hers”.

Today I cook decent food and I am a mother too. But I know, no matter how many years pass, no one can compete with “his” Mother.

My husband who is equally as bad as I was at cooking, did not want to hurt my feelings. Seeing the effort, I put in and the love I had, made up his own special missing ingredient at that moment.

Although nothing can be incomparable to a mother, but he put his mother down for me. I fell in love with that Man all over again.

Hey readers!!

Hope you liked the story. It is not mine, but it is someone’s for sure. While writing this I remembered a song Mummy used to sing to me when I was small

“You can always give some love, to people passing by. Even with a kiss or hug or even just a smile” 

Please spread your smiles and DO NOT TRY THE ABOVE RECIPE at home!!!

This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Outset Books.

[alde-bazaar]

History & Evolution Of Namkeen Snacks

Traditional namkeen has gained more popularity, especially among youngsters in India. Indian snacks had a detailed history, rich with flavorful adventures. The snacks are filled with vibrant spices & tasty flavors. Namkeens like bhujia, nutcrackers, moong dal, dry kachori, fried lentils, makhanas, etc., use different flour bases and spices to make them flavorful. Namkeen, or salty snacks, have various savory options that people across all regions of India enjoy.

Evolution Of Namkeen In India

India has a culture of preparing homemade snacks during festivals or marriages. The namkeens vary with the regional festivals and with geographical boundaries too. The choice of snacks differs from region to region. Namkeens are portable, nutritious, and equally satisfying to our taste buds. Snacks are an example of convenience foods. They are designed to be less perishable and more portable than processed foods. Indian traditional snacks contain substantial amounts of sweeteners, preservatives, & flavored ingredients. The packaging is made in such a way so that the namkeens have a good shelf life. 

The size, shape, and appearance of namkeens are desirable, and people worldwide love to have them. Today you can find namkeen made with everything from chickpeas to peanuts to banana chips & jackfruit. Regional variations have also developed unique namkeen recipes. For instance, in Gujarat, namkeens are prepared with besan, while in West Bengal, you can find namkeen made with puffed rice. Another well-known namkeen is the spicy and tangy snacks like bhel puri and sev puri, which are made with fried grains, vegetables, & different spices.

What are the different kinds of popular Namkeens?

You can find people munching on namkeens in the evening or at meals. Youngsters love to chew these favorite snacks while watching TV or catching up with friends. Another very famous namkeen is the dalmoth mixture. Tons of sev, potatoes, & dal are fried and mixed by hand. If you love namkeen, you must try out the best quality Prakash namkeen and enjoy its deliciousness. You can buy Prakash namkeen online from Alde Bazaar and get it delivered to your address. 

Why Order Sweets and Snacks via Alde Bazar

Pride of Indore lies in the best and the tastiest namkeens. Now you can order prakash namkeen online or buy any north Indian namkeens like chiwda, moong dal, or flour based namkeen such as bhakarwadi, mathri, chakli and spicy besan sev from Alde Bazar. This one-stop destination delivers snacks & sweets to your place. People are becoming health conscious nowadays; one can even opt for millet and soya bean snacks, which are gaining ground. Healthy millet-based snacks such as ragi chakli, ragi chips, roasted soya bean, soya chips & soya sticks are available in different flavors in Alde Bazar.

If you want to know the details of sweets and snacks available, like gulab jamun price 1 kg, you can visit the website of Alde Bazar. Now you can order your favorite namkeen online from your home. Alde Bazar can even provide Thaggu ke laddu, gulab jamun, or ladoo from Lovely sweets. The namkeen and sweets will be delivered fresh to your doorstep. Alde Bazaar is a trusted source for namkeen and sweets. 

[rockingrobin69]

Adventures in the kitchen

800 words, rated M for nudity

“Harry! You’re home!”

The absolute chaos was first to grab his attention. Dishes piled frighteningly high in the sink, vegetable peels littered the floor, and the splashback looked like a warzone. “What… what have you been, erm? Doing?”

“It was going to be a surprise,” Draco murmured. “You weren’t meant to come back so early. I was going to have everything tidied up by six.”

“Baby, it’s half six.”

“What?” he sounded on the verge of panic, now. “Oh, no, wait—shit, could you grab the—no, move out of the way! The chickpeas!”

It took this long to notice his actual boyfriend, running frantically everywhere in the tiny kitchen. He was wearing Ron’s gag-gift apron, the one with the very buff, naked torso drawing. And beneath the apron he wore…

Nothing. Harry forgot how to breathe for two whole minutes.

“I don’t get it, it was meant to be ready hours ago! Why doesn’t… Harry? Are you all right?”

“Hmm?” it took so much effort to pay attention. “Sorry, you were—chickpeas? What are you making?”

Draco’s pout made his heart beat even faster. “I had a whole plan. But the vegetable Pakoras took about forever, and I have serious doubts about the Dal, although the biryani should be nice, and the naan, and—no, actually, that’s it, since the stupid chickpeas won’t cook. I wanted to try that Chana Masala recipe you like. The other day, you said you missed your family’s… But I’m obviously a disaster, and—half six! I was going to take a shower. Get dressed. I’m sorry, Harry, I just… I wanted to surprise you.”

“You sure have,” Harry said truthfully, still far from what he wanted to convey. The words he was looking for were buried under too much affection, flooding his veins hot and fizzy, and delight, writhing in his belly, and this weird, close-to-tears feeling, some sort of excitement he couldn’t name. Draco was so good at making him absolutely speechless. The way he wanted to take care of him, that he put so much effort into the things Harry liked and that might make him happy. And how he was so entirely, enchantingly messy about it; not to mention how he always, always succeeded, even if Harry couldn’t really explain why. It just worked.

“I’m sorry,” Draco mumbled, defeated in front of the cooker, and when he turned to stir the pot Harry was awarded full view of his rear end. He thought he might actually die. Instead he took three steps forward, until he could wrap his arms around Draco.

“You have nothing to apologise for, silly,” he whispered in his ear, laying gentle kisses on his neck. “This is… god, it’s amazing. I can’t believe you went through all this trouble just on an offhand remark I—it smells bloody terrific. God, I’m so hungry.”

He wasn’t when he walked through the door, but now—in the kitchen holding the man he loved, Harry was practically salivating. He kept kissing Draco’s back, his shoulders, until he was a squirming jumble in his arms, giggly and impossibly sweet.

“Knock it off! I still have to watch the bloody chick—”

“Oh, who cares about that. You’ve made enough food.” And Harry was far more interested in this, anyway. He turned Draco to face him with a small kiss for each cheek, then for the edge of his nose. “You’re incredible.”

“I’m very naked,” was Draco’s response, and, yeah. Harry’s definitely noticed.

“Dangerous in the kitchen,” he said, stupidly. His brain was melting with the combination of love and desire and this endless, bottomless pit of Draco in his chest.  

“The apron’s charmed to—what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Harry asked, although he knew. Draco’s cheeks went even redder, and Harry was ready to combust into flames right here and now.

“Like that,” Draco grumbled. “Do I have something on my face?”

Well. Yes, there was a little smudge of—maybe turmeric on Draco’s left eyebrow, and that damned blush, and the prettiest, loveliest pair of eyes, and the tiniest barest hint of a smile—

“I’m just. Surprised. You did very well to surprise me.”

The hint became a full grin, rendering Harry far beyond helpless. “Wait till you taste it.”

“I fully plan to,” Harry nodded, and without further ado picked Draco up in his arms. He squealed in protest, but his legs wrapped around Harry anyway, laughing and squirming and loud. He was such a mess—literally, technically, in every way that counted. But he was everything Harry wanted, most of what he needed, and somehow he always succeeded in making Harry feel so… fuck, so loved. It just always worked. Looking into his eyes now, Harry thought he might know why. 

[clockotea]

Chain Thoughts

Words- 4096

Warnings- Read below.  Dissociation, depression.

Ships- Slight Purly.

Notes- Okay yeahhhhhhhhhhh. I didn’t proof read this or edit it. I just wanted it done, because I like concept of this headcanon, however I don’t have motivation to edit. If you see some problems with spelling, grammar or whatever, I apologize. I’ll edit it later. I went through moments like Ponyboy does in this when I was younger and there are times where I still do. I’ve been busy with school so this took me awhile, and now we are going back on wednesdays so I won’t have that much time to write. I also rushed the ending :( I’m thinking about writing about if Ponyboy got put into a boy’s home. SO YEAH

-Ally-Lx

Headcanon- This headcanon belongs to @chaotically-cas

“When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.”

It didn’t make sense. There were seven days in a week. So, why did Ponyboy only remember waking up 5 out of the seven days? Ponyboy pushes his potatoes to the side with his spoon. His other hand rubs his chain between his fingers. All he remembers was an argument with Darry before falling into a daze.

“What’s the matter with you, Ponyboy? Normally you would be stuffin’ your face.” Says Soda with a mouth full.

“What? Were you raised in a barn, little man?” Scolds Darry. Soda smirks and nods his head. Darry glares daggers at Soda. He slaps him in the back of the head, causing him to choke. Soda swallows this chicken and points his fork at Darry. He says some funny threat making Darry chuckle, but Ponyboy couldn’t process it. Ponyboy rubs his forehead where a migraine was starting to form.

“Ponyboy.” Darry’s voice breaks him out of his trance.

“Hm?”

“Mrs. Rutt called today.” He crosses his arms, expecting Ponyboy to explain why.

“Darry, just get to it.”

“She says you have 6 missing assignments.” 

Darry didn’t have bad grammar skills, like the rest of the greasers. He didn’t cut his ing’s short. He didn’t round his vowels, either. It was considered formal until the rest of the gang was there. Even then, his speech was formal. 

How did I forget about the 6 assignments?

“Ponyboy, you can’t just go running off forgetting about your homework.” States Darry. His face seemed to be made out of stone. The light draped over him like a cloth, creating perfect shadows that outlined his muscles. 

“I wasn’t- that’s not it-”

“Oh, cut him some slack, dare-bear,” Darry grumbles at his nickname. “It’s not like you have never had a late assignment.”

Ponyboy grabs his plate. He goes to put the food into a container.

“You haven’t been excused.”

“I didn’t realize I was eating with the president.” He sneers back.

“Yeah, well, you better sit your ass down.” Ponyboy freezes to see if Darry takes action.

“Ponyboy, hand me your plate. I’ll finish your food.” Soda says, breaking the silence. He nods and hands the glass plate to Soda.

“I’m going to go do those assignments.” Ponyboy whispers hoarsely. He fidgeted with his chain looking for approval from Darry. Darry sighs and nods.

IT WAS ONLY THE START

What am I doing? Ponyboy looks around. It didn’t feel real to be walking to the dingo in these jeans. Where am I going? Ponyboy looks around. The sun was dipping below the horizon yet beaming down on him. Ponyboy’s hair had turned a reddish-brown in the sunlight. The grease in his hair reflected against the sunlight. 

Think, C’mon Ponyboy. Think. What do you remember last? Last night, he and Darry had gotten into an argument. It was about how he managed school work. The entire gang was there. He brought up how Ponyboy had 6 missing assignments. Steve had chimed in and said that Ponyboy had skipped class. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I’m ahead in that class. But the argument had gotten blown out of proportion when Two-Bit said he saw him and Curly hanging out. It was bad when Darry said he didn’t want Curly around Ponyboy alone, but when he said he didn’t want them together at all, Ponyboy couldn’t help but argue back.

‘Ponyboy.” Ponyboy snaps his head to the voice. Hair slicked back... leather jacket… mickey shirt… boots… rust color hair… grey eyes. Two-bit.

“You alright, Pony?” He holds the door open. 

“Yeah. I’m good.” Lies Ponyboy. He felt as if he had taken a huge step off a cliff, into a cold pool of water. It made him feel cold and as if he was on autopilot. 

He takes a step up into the crisp air. The sound of chatter. The smell of what? The smell of fries. Warm red-colored booths. The pale floor seemed to gleam under the neon blue sign above the menu. He scans the room to see who Two-bit would be hanging out with. Ponyboy blinks as he makes his way to Johnny Cade beside Two-bit. Johnny nods his head at Pony. The seats crack under the weight of Ponyboy. Two-bit smiles.

“Hey, Ponyboy. What you doin’ walkin’ all your lonesome?” Johnny asks, clearing his throat.

“I saw him standing outside looking around like a doof,” Laughs Two-bit. “So, he’s just being his regular self.”

All of Ponyboy’s doubt seems to drip away the more Two-bit teases him. Ponyboy makes snarky comments back as Johnny scans his eyes over Ponyboy. Johnny shakes his head and messes with his jacket.

“Alright, guys. Enough,” Chuckles Johnny. “Ponyboy walking around alone is just asking for you to get jumped.”

Two-bit smirks mischievously, “Aw, c’mon Johnny. Ponyboy is tough. He can take on 5 socs at once.” Ponyboy smiles. 

Johnny shakes his head, “I just don’t want what happened to me to happen to him,”

“As I said, he can handle any soc. The only person he cannot handle is me.”

“Oh yeah?” Smirks Ponyboy.

“Yeah!” Two-Bit slams his elbow on the table. “Let’s go. I’m stronger than 10 of you”

“Let’s find out!” Ponyboy slams his palm into Two-bit’s.

The two boys arm wrestle until they are red in the face. Johnny laughs at how they struggle and refuse to give up. They didn’t want their pride to be damaged. The 3 boys ate fries that were too salty. Two-bit would eat their fries instead of his, letting his fries go cold. Ponyboy sipped his Pepis as Johnny messed with the whipped cream on his milkshake. It wasn’t until Two-bit brought up Ponyboy’s curfew did they get up to leave. Ponyboy felt as if everything in the world was right. He was smiling and laughing. Everything was right until they got home. Then it feels as if Ponyboy was in the pool of water again and drowning. 

Why is it only happening to me?

Ponyboy flipped over to his stomach. Darry had told him to get up 30 minutes ago. Ponyboy used to be an early bird. He would wake up and sneak out onto the roof to watch the sunset. His mom would come up with him and sit with him. It was a time where Ponyboy was comfortable. It was a time when he felt safe and didn’t have to worry about Darry throwing him into a boy’s home.

What was the point of getting out of bed, when no matter what you do, it irritates people? He already knew how Steve felt about him. Dallas barely talked to him. He was always out messing around. They often thought of him as a kid. 

Ponyboy softly runs his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t feel angry or sad that the gang thought of Ponyboy like that. It made sense. Am I really that annoying? I don’t mean to be. Ponyboy sighs. He didn’t want to get out of bed, it was too warm and comfortable. It’s the only place I can’t screw up.

The door swings open and slams with a crash. Ponyboy rolls his eyes with annoyance. His back was warm, and felt as he was laying in a hay stack. He shifts uncomfortably. 

“Ponyboy?” calls out Whos voice is that? Dallas.

“Hm, Yeah?” whines Ponyboy. Dallas walks in. His hair was flowing all over. His jean jacket looked stiff, the buttons raddled against his chain. Dallas’s pants dipped into every crevice everytime he moved. He raises his eyebrow at the fact that Ponyboy is still in bed. 

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you when you are having personal time.” He says chuckling.

“C’mon Dallas, tease me all you want. Just don’t tell Darry that I’m still in bed,” mutters Ponyboy. Dallas presses his lips into a thin line. The bed dips into Dallas’s favor as he stares at Ponyboy, as if he had just spoken a random language to him.

“You mean to tell me that Ponyboy Curtis hasn’t left bed all morning?” He questions.

“No sir,” Says Ponyboy into his pillow. Dallas whistles and continues to stare at him. Dallas smelled of booze, metal, and cigarettes. Dallas pulls a cigarette from his pocket. He flicks a match against the box and lights it up.

“Aw, c’mon Dal, you know Darry will kill me if he smells cancer-stick smoke in me and Soda’s room.” Ponyboy sits up and glares at Dallas. His hair falls over his forehead and partly in his eyes. He runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back lightly. The sunlight reflects in his eyes.

“Ponyboy, you feelin’ alright?.” He asks, puffing smoke out of his mouth. The smoke coats the room in a thin layer, of the gray, toxic, cloud.

No, something is wrong

“Yeah, just thought today was supposed to be a lazy day.” Ponyboy states.

“Well, not anymore!” He hollers. “Curly was practically begging me to give him Darry’s schedule so he can sneak in and talk to you. I couldn’t betray Darry’s trust that much, so I’m just going to take you to him.”

“So, he’s finally out of the cooler?” mumbles Ponyboy.

“He’s been out for a week. Just hasn’t had time to see you.” Dallas smiles at Ponyboy, like Curly not sparing time for him was funny. I wouldn’t spare time for me either. What was it that made Ponyboy sick to his stomach? The fact that it was summer break and Curly was “busy”, or the fact that he didn’t even come himself. 

“Why didn’t you just bring him here?” Asks Ponyboy reaching for a shirt. He digs his fingers into the soft fabric of a black shirt. It was tossed to the side from last night, when it got too hot to keep it on.

“He’s busy with Tim. Said he’ll meet you there.”

Ponyboy slips the the shirt on. The feeling of being alone and disconnected was joining him again. Ponyboy sighs and rubs his forehead. He twists his chain in between his fingers. The cold, round, edge pushes down into Ponyboy’s skin. Dallas stands and pats his shoulder.

“Get ready,”

“I’m not going, Dallas,” Ponyboy whispers.

Dallas drops his gaze, “Oh, how come? Don’t want to disappoint Darry?” 

Dallas goes to pinch Ponyboy’s cheeks, but Ponyboy catches his wrists.

“Screw off, Dallas.” He sneers.

“Oh, Jesus. I get you might get jealous about not seeing him, and you want to create a statement but-”

Maybe it would all stop if I gave up and listened to Darry.

“I don’t want to create a statement, Dally. I got enough stress on my back with me arguing with Darry. I can’t handle whatever crime he’s gonna’ get himself into when I’m around. It would make Darry furious” 

“What’s the point of having rules if it ain’t for them to be broken.” Chuckles Dallas.

Ponyboy sighs and rubs his temples. It was getting harder and harder to process what he was saying, why he was mad, why he wanted to understand Darry.

“No, it would put stress on Darry. He has enough stress with me here.” He argues.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m starting to think you being put into a boy’s home would make it less stressful for Darry.” Chuckles Dallas. Dallas thought he was making a light-hearted joke. Something that was going to make Ponyboy chuckle, and he would get over it. Ponyboy couldn’t help but let everything take over. Before he knew it he was, so out of it, he didn’t know what they were arguing about.

“It would be… wouldn’t it?” Murmurs Ponyboy. Dallas’s eyes shoot up, trying to catch the emotion on Ponyboy’s face. Ponyboy’s eyes used to be warm summer green that would look grey in different lighting. They were kind of green that was warm and welcoming, like the green leaves that would grow on the tree’s Darry and Sodapop would climb when his parents were alive. Used too. All the stuff that made Ponyboy look like a kid was slowly fading.

“Hey, you know I ain’t mean that,” Chuckles Dallas. “It was a light-hearted joke.”

Ponyboy chuckles, “Yeah, I know. I’m still not going.”

“Alright… “ Ponyboy sits on the bed as Dallas closes the door behind him. Why was this feeling only happening to him? Why wasn’t it happening to Sodapop or Darry?

I tried, I really did.

Sodapop’s hands were warm compared to Ponyboy’s back. Ponyboy had been feeling colder ever since he stopped eating as much. He was sleeping in sweatpants, and hoodies trying to keep his body heat. Soda had slid his hands up his shirt and was rubbing his back just like their dad used to. Darry sat in the chair watching his brother comfort Ponyboy.

“Pony, are you alright?” questions Soda.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Darry can’t help but bite his lip, a habit he picked up when he was nervous.

“You haven’t left our bed yet. Steve and I are going to a party. Do you want to join us?”

He’s a tag-along, Soda.

“No. I don’t want to be a tag-along and annoy you and Steve.”

“Ponyboy… You’re not a tag-along.” He whispers.

They sit in comfortable silence, waiting for the other to speak. Soda’s fingers trace over Ponyboy’s spine. He runs his nails all the way to where his pants start. Sodapop’s eyes fill with concern. Ponyboy shift’s to face Soda. His eyes were hazy and cold. His cheeks were no longer a soft red but a pale tone of peach. His lips weren’t a rose pink and curved into a smile. He looked tired, cold, and bored.

“Maybe you and Darry could go to the movie theater?” Suggest Sodapop.

“No, I don’t feel like it.”

“Ponyboy quit bein’ difficult. You can’t be lazy all day.”

“C’mon Darry, just leave him alone.” Says Soda.

“I would be going out and having fun if you allowed me to see Curly.” 

“Is that what this is about. Are you acting this way over Curly?” Gasps Darry.

“I ain’t actin’ weird, and yes, I’m still angry about you banning me from seeing Curly.”

“Why, he ain’t that important.” Soda says softly. Steve walks in and leans on the door frame. 

“I finally have a friend that’s my age and is my friend not because of my brothers, and then you banned me from seeing him.”

“... He’s not wrong, Darry.” Says Steve.

“He’s a bad influence!” scowls Darry.

“Yeah, and Dallas ain’t?”  Ponyboy could feel the confusion in Soda. He knew it wasn’t just about Curly. Darry was picking up on Ponyboy’s body language and could tell. The reason why he was acting this way was not just about curly.

“Darry, Curly likes Ponyboy as a friend too. He asked why you didn’t sneak out to see him the other day.” Said Soda looking at his brother. His face was tight, and his hair was slicked back. He smelled of cheap cologne like he was going to impress Sandy.

“I didn’t want to sneak out because it would stress out Darry, but now that he knows that I was asked to sneak out to see him.” Ponyboy sits up and looks at Darry. “I’m askin’ kindly. Otherwise, I’m just gonna sneak out.”

“Ponyboy, you shouldn’t be speakin’ to your elders like that. Darry has done so much for you. Your lucky he didn’t send you to a boy’s  home!” Sneer Steve. His patience was dwindling. Evie was waiting for Steve. She had called him and reminded him about how dolled up she was getting just for him. Why wouldn’t he want to rush to his beautiful girlfriend?

“Steve!” Hollers Darry.

“Yeah, and I bet he regrets not putting me in one.” Taunts Ponyboy. He stands up and walks out of his room. The wood creaks under his weight. 

“Ponyboy, I ain’t gonna put you into a boys home!” Calls out Darry.

“Why not? You already suffer from the bills! Why should you worry about me!”

“Ponyboy!” Sodapop reaches for him. Ponyboy yanks his arm out of Sodapop’s hand. Ponyboy slips on his white converse. His feet fit perfectly in the soles of them. The shoe curve at the right places, cradling his feet as he runs out the door.

Where are my memories going?

The last thing Ponyboy remembers was storming out of the house. The next thing he knows, he’s sitting next to a curly hair boy. Curly had seen Ponyboy running off and went running after him. Curly basically tackled the skinny boy. He gripped his arm and pinned him. The fear that was in Ponyboy’s eyes made him worry. Curly watched as Ponyboy’s lips curved into a frown.

“Tell them before it gets worse.” Cuts in Curly.

“They won’t understand.” Chokes out Ponyboy.

“If I understood everything you said and I’m worried. Then your brothers will be worried.”

“Yeah, because Darry is just one brain cell smarter.” Snorts Ponyboy. Curly gives him a rough smirk. Curly watched as the sun reflected in Ponyboy’s eyes. 

“Curly I-”

“No overthinkin’. just sit here in silence before you say some dumb shit.” Ponyboy grins at the sky. The silence covered the boys like a thick blanket. It made them feel safe and like they are in their own bubble. Ponyboy turned to Curly to admire his figure.

The grass caressed his cheek, and Curly’s smile softened. His body looked like it could’ve been shaped out of clay. His hair curled around the edges of his face. The grease in his hair was already starting to wear off, making his hair fling up. The sky paled yellow, then crimson, and with one deep breath, electric indigo.

Why aren’t they noticing? 

Ponyboy woke in Darry’s arms. He had been thrashing around and screaming, trying to wake himself up. Darry’s grip tightens around the boy. Even though Ponyboy had awakened from the nightmare he was suffocating in, Darry didn’t let go. Darry’s arms felt as if they were melting the thin layer of ice on Ponyboy’s skin.

“ I got you.” Who? Who has me? 

“I-I” Gasps out Ponyboy. His nails dig into Darry’s skin. The smell of sweat and wood.

“Who’s holding me? Who is holding me?” He whispers. Darry’s grip tightens on the fragile boy. His strong figure had gotten smaller. The damage of not eating as much as he used too was showing through. Although he was still stronger than most kids his age, Ponyboy struggled to get out of Darry’s arms.

“I need you to calm down.” Scowls Darry. Tears start streaming down his face. Ponyboy feel’s as if he’s back in the cold pool of water, and drowning. He gasps trying to let the air reach his air, but nothing could get through. 

“No.. N-no,” Stutters Ponyboy. “I can’t remember who you are. Please, I can’t remember who you are.” 

I don’t know who’s holding me. I don’t know where I am, and why I’m here. I don’t know my name. 

“What? What are you talkin’ about?” Darry’s voice was laced with concern.

“I can’t even remember my name.” Cries out Ponyboy. He tries once again to push Darry’s arms away. Darry just pulls him closer.

“Ponyboy. Your name is Ponyboy,” Whimpers Darry. “I’m your brother, Darry.”

Ponyboy shakes his head and starts crying harder. He gave up on pushing away Darry. The entire house creaked, as the leaves scrapped on the outside of the house. Darry’s hands start shaking, they grip Ponyboy’s arms harder.

“Ponyboy-” Starts Darry. Ponyboy doesn’t feel like he is in his body. He feels as if he was floating around his body. It was cold and all he wanted was his parents. Aren’t they dead? To come get him, and wake him up. He wanted them to push him back into his body. Darry stops the questions when every time he asked, Ponyboy shakes his head no. He let the small boy fall asleep

It’s come to come home.

Ponyboy wakes up in Darry’s arms. It was soft whispers circling around him. Ponyboy could feel the goosebumps prickling on his skin. Are they going to send me to a boy’s home? Is there something wrong with me?

“So, let me get this straight, he didn’t remember you or his name?” Cuts in Sodapop’s slow and hoarse voice.

“Yes, Sodapop. That’s what I said.” Darry says harshly.

“I don’t know, Darry. He could’ve just been shocked from the nightmare… remember how he got them right after mom and dad died? They never really went away. The doctor just said he needs to run outta energy. He barely leaves our bed anymore. His nightmares could just be getting worse.”

“No, this was different, Sodapop. I wouldn’t be telling you if it wasn’t. I’m thinking about taking him to the doctor again.”

“No offense Darry, but can we even afford it? I care about Ponyboy too, but I don’t think we can afford it.” Whimpers Soda.

“No, I don’t think we can,” Whispers Ponyboy. Both Sodapop and Darry’s eyes trace over his figure. Ponyboy pushes Darry’s arm off of him. He sits up and flops on his stomach, away from the boys. The cold air hit his back. He felt as if he just go out of a sauna. “Plus, it was just another one of my nightmares. It’s no big deal.” 

“No Ponyboy, this one was different. You couldn’t remember me or your name.” 

“Just like Soda said, I was just in shock. It’s no big deal.”

“Ponyboy, it is a big deal. Please, let’s just take you to the doctor. I’ve already made the appointment.” Hisses Darry.

They are wasting money on me. Just because I’m sick if I could just suck it up.

“Darry, please. It’s not that big of a deal. Don’t take me to the doctors.” Ponyboy turns to his brother. He had changed for work. He wasn’t there. He called in sick. All because of me.

“Alright, so something is wrong,” Grumbles Sodapop. He sits up and grabs Ponyboy’s arm. “Pony, if nothing’s wrong explain everything. Why you’re acting weird, why you can’t get out of bed, why you look like you’re sick… why you are aggressive.” 

It clicks in their heads. They both look at Ponyboy as if he was crying. Concern was written all over their faces. Sodapop’s grip loosens. They saw it in their mom after Ponyboy was born. Mothers get depressed because they lost a part of them. Ponyboy was depressed because he lost a big part of his life.

“Oh, Jesus Ponyboy. Why didn’t you tell us?” Asks Darry.

“Tell you what? God, you both don’t know when to mind your own business.” Ponyboy stands and walks out of the room. The house was quiet but he could hear Steve’s and Two-bits voices outside the door.

“That doesn’t explain why he’s forgotten things.” Mutters Sodapop. He trails after Ponyboy with Darry. Ponyboy opens the white refrigerator door. He scans the fridge for a coke.

“No, eat some real food.” Demands Darry.

“With some water. I can’t remember the last time you drank water.” Murmurs Sodapop.

Ponyboy sighs as he grapes a coke. He slams the door shut and turns to his brothers.

“Nothing is wrong with me.”

“No, nothing is wrong with you. However, you do need help handling emotions.” Says Darry calmly. Ponyboy scrunches his eyebrows together. He scoffs and opens the coke.

“What about emotions?” Calls out Steve. The door slams shut behind him, rattling the entire house. The floorboards creak under Steves’s weight.

“Steve, give us a second for ourselves goddammit!” Cries out Darry.

“No, Steve come in. I was just about to go to Curly’s.”  Calls out Ponyboy. He lifts up his bottle to chug the rest of his drink. Darry pulls the drink out of Ponyboy’s hand.

“No, you’re not going to Curly’s. We’re taking you to the doctors or so help me Ponyboy-”

“No. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with me!”

“Your Ponyboy, lots of things are wrong with you,” Steve says chuckling.

“Steve, can you get out.” Says Ponyboy.

“Steve this is private.”

“Alright, alright. I get it.” Steve leaves the room leaving it to be silent.

“Ponyboy, just let us take care of you.” Whispers Darry. Darry runs his fingers through Ponyboy’s hair. His fingers glide through Ponyboy’s hair without any trouble. His hair didn’t have any grease in it. Ponyboy almost broke down there. He felt disconnected and helpless. Darry pulled him into his arms. 

It’s been a few months since Ponyboy was diagnosed. He went to the movies to draw him out of his head. To protect him from his thoughts. When Ponyboy stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, he had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.

They thought everything going on in Ponyboy’s head was horrible. They weren’t ready for what was going to happen.

[annoyed-galaxy]

“I found the old Starling-look-alike place while traveling. Tikrid and I were heading to two different places looking for things for Captain Wayfinder and the alchemist from Dawnstar when I stumbled upon the old campsite I woke up at. Tikrid was amazed by this place. I asked her what it was. She explained to me that these were Dwemer ruins. When I looked confused she explained that Dwemer were an ancient race with magnificent technology that disappeared. No one knows what happened to them, but their ruins and technology remains behind for everyone to see. Sounds almost exactly like the Starlings.

Despite the freezing cold, I can make a pretty damn good fire and since I have a lovely tent to keep all the cold out, I can actually relax. Not to mention that furry cloak I have. So waaarm.

Outside of the cave where we were supposed to find the magical ring were a pack of beautiful wolves. Apparently when I came here to Skyrim, I was gifted. Animals do not flee from nor fight me. I actually pet one and it seemed to like it. They even helped fight a Spriggan that was attacking Tikrid and I.

The cave we entered was small, but beautiful. Mystical almost. And of course the Spriggan outside should have warned of us of the Spriggan MATRON we had to fight. My lunar guardian defended Tikrid and I long enough for us to get behind her and attack her. That was the most dangerous thing in that cave. The ring was hidden in a half buried chest, but we got it.

On our way to the second location for Captain Wayfinder, Tikrid and I stumbled across another inn. We took advantage of the location and rested there for a bit. I met a few interesting people there.

I can’t remember the oaf’s name, but he was hammered. Completely drunk. What was funny is that he had barely had anything to drink. He explained that his hammer was enchanted; every time he used it, he got hammered. I asked why not just stop using it but he claimed he had not found a good replacement for her. I decided I would make him one because I really want that hammer now. Give it to Jespar when I return and make him use it. Oh the laughs I would have.

The next person I met was Ange the Song-Bearer. She was a bard who simply wished to share the beauty of music to anyone who would listen. We performed a little song together and that got me a free room from the innkeeper. It got her free drinks which she shared with me. Of course it was mead or ale and I was disappointed. It turns out Skyrim is lacking in wine.

The next person I talked to was called Moris the Draugr. I have no idea what a draugr was, but from what he explained, it was basically an undead person. He was once known as Moris the Living Draugr but due to an embarrassing accident involving his injuries and a snow bear licking his face, he became humiliated. He’s bitter bout it.

The last person I met was named Callen. She claimed to be in the area hunting horkers. When I asked why it’s because she was trying to find the best horker meat for a friend that was salty at her for ruining his soup one day. I was baffled but she told me there was a big one, big enough to take down a ship. I offered to help her and she thanked me. I told her I would meet her at the wreck of the ship once I finished what I was doing.

I rested for a bit in my room and dreamt about this painting that was hanging there. I don’t know why I dreamt of it, but I did. Not much to remember in that dream other than this angel was in it. I think I was in the Star City and she watched as Jespar and I looked down at Vyn and watched as the Cleansing killed everything.

Now, the next leg of my adventure was...interesting. Extremely. First off, we went into a place called the Forsaken Cave. Second, I got to experience the draugr in person. I did not like it. Caves creep me out and I was half expecting my vision to blur out and memories of the past or something come soaring past. That wasn’t the case luckily.

But it was still dark

and fucking terrifying.

But of course! That wasn’t all! Oh hell no! Because Clerissa Dal-fucking-Varek can’t catch a break. We’re in this stupid tomb for some “refined Void Salts” right? Well I didn’t particularly want to go into a place called the Forsaken Crypt only to be greeted by, what I assumed to be the master of this crypt.  

Tikrid and I were ambushed by him and four other draugrs. But you want to know something interesting? This fucking creature was shouting at us. Like words that were spells. What was more terrifying was that I understood what he said. I heard “force” and Tikrid and I were staggered. She was amazed and claimed that he was using the Thu’um the language of dragons. I stared at her in complete astonishment so long that I almost lost my head.

I had to focus on fighting and not what she just said because so much just ran through my head. We managed to finally killed them all. When I looked back at Tikrid, ready to ask her what she meant, she was paralyzed, looking at the large wall behind the draugr’s sarcophagus.

I looked at it and heard the chanting. I heard the chanting and then saw the pulsing blue symbols on the wall. Unlike Tikrid, I wasn’t paralyzed. I was drawn to those glowing symbols. As I got closer, the chanting got louder and the pulsing light blurred my vision until those symbols were the only thing I saw.

I looked at them and the symbols began to burn inside my mind.

Kill.

The symbols made the word “kill”. I felt some special power behind that word, like there was something more but I couldn’t access it. When I turned back to Tikrid, she looked at me with astonishment. She told me that this was a Word Wall. Something the dragons used to write down words. I told her that I understood the word, that it meant it kill. I tried reading the other words, but I could not focus on them, the current word still burning bright in my mind and eyes.

She was amazed that I was able to read the words and said I may have the power to understand dragons.

The only dragon I had ever met was in the far reaches of Enderal and as far as I could tell, it didn’t speak. Then again, I never fought it as I was too fucking afraid to fight a DRAGON! And now I have Tikrid telling me I can speak in the dragon language?

We went back to Nightgate Inn and my eyes are still burning with those symbols. The chanting had stopped once I read the word, but I could feel the feint thrumming in the back of my head. What have I gotten myself into?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

Oh boy the plot thickens! More NPC’s, more adventuring, and a new power that Clerissa doesn’t even know the half of! Oh the fun she’s getting herself into.

[ujuro]

this is my running list that i have kept in my drafts all year of things that i wanted from kpop in 2018. some are kind of vague but honestly which groups were “successful” and which weren’t is really obvious because the “unsuccessful” ones just didnt come back at all ugh

long post here we go

things i wanted from this year:

-success for wjsn: my girls got a win and their best-selling album yet so we’re on a roll now. but im somewhat worried because a lot of it comes from the new fame of c-line and between you and me i...dont think theyre ever coming back. prove me wrong yuehua.

-success for loona- is a debut mini selling over 50,000 copies success? ya know there are people that will say that based on how expensive and long their debut project was that everything was a flop and loona’s doomed but i dont really think that way. when lookin at it strictly as an actual debut they did great. i love my girls.

-success for clc- we’ll never know if anything could have come from a comeback after black dress because CUUUUUBBBBEEEEEE but im not salty or anything nooooo

-success for dreamcatcher: happyface and i think the girls themselves realize that their concept will never be mainstream but ya know what? my girls had a good year! they’re working hard and building a fanbase and theres nothing more i can ask for really

-someone please pay attention to sonamoo please: FUCK TS

-same for gugudan this is depressing: i dont know how their last comeback did but it seems like they kind of staying the same which is sad because gugudan probably ranks the highest of post ioi groups in terms of raw talent and consistently good music. stan my girl nayoung. 

-weme and pristin to actually get non-controversial actually good title tracks so we can put all of that to rest (though i’d die for wee woo don’t fuckin try it):  crush was well liked so we got that but FUCKIN PLEDIS OH MY GOD IM SO MAD IDEC THAT GET IT WAS GOOD THEY DIDNT GET A NON-CONTROVERSIAL TITLE TRACK THEY DIDNT GET ON AT ALL and NO PRISTIN V DOES NOT MAKE UP FOR IT FUCKIN PLEDIS anyway

-news on after school….any news…free them…: WELL lizzy is was freed and kaeun is in limbo (more on her later). now all we need is eyoung to be freed and i can sleep better. 

-news on secret: the news is that TS is a shitshow but what else is new. at least hyosung and jieun were freed.

 -FX COMEBACK- GODDAMNIT

 -Shinee to be happy and healthy: this is sort of a wish because i can never really know if they’re happy but in terms of what i can judge aka content this was a great shinee year. minho solo when

-9muses comeback PLEASE: got a great kyungri solo debut and it aint over till hyemi says its over but please one more comeback PLEASE

-aoa comeback: FUCK ALL OF THE HATERS BINGLE BANGLE RULES AND U ALL SAID THEY WOULD FAIL WITHOUT CHOA HA

-hello venus comeback: LOOK i know fantagio is a mess but they managed to gave their other groups a comeback COME THE FUCK ON

-for companies to just stop kidding themselves and disband dal shabet and bestie: with woohee gones dal shabet is over and im pretty sure bestie’s company doesn’t exist anymore so i guess thats solved

-solji to come back to exid: YEEEESSSSSS OUR MOTHER AND QUEEN IS BACK

-more non-taeyeon snsd solos (and a taeyeon one too thatd be great): fuck solos we actually got lil touch i didnt see that coming at all. oh AND a bunch of solos too snsd had to die so snsd could live i guess.

-any post-ioi group to get a win: Dia and wjsn! 

-ladies code comeback (or at least a hint at group activity): the hint came from a christmas song so i should be happy however i am unsatisfied. 

-t-ara news: the news is theyre being secretive in between solo work c’mon hyomin give up your plans

-fiestar news-disbanded and im still sad

-brown eyed girls comeback: someday...i have hope...i know they want to...

-LEE HI COMEBACK: FUCK YG but that goes without saying

-deleted a stupid one sorry gyus

-yoongi singing: lol im not even into bts anymore but i still like yoongi and seesaw is still a banger great job my dude

-kaeun to get into the produce48 group: hmph. normally i wouldnt be worried with her high place and the hype like it should be easy to give her something to do right? however this is pledies we’re talking about so i can only hope that what lizzy said and the rumors of her joining a new girl group come true. argh why pledis id even trust her with cube over them look at soyeon

-girls day comeback: see brown eye girls above

-a not terrible produce 48 group k at least put hitomi in it: I love izone i got over my hangups with the lineup real quick and now cringe at grown-ass adults still going off about a fourteen-year-old. like y’all. you can stan the group its fine they’re nice and talented girls. i swear. you’ll like them. hyewon is my queen. i still find wonyoung too young to connect with (im finding now that im too old to truly bias any idol under 16 or even 17. yujin is fifteen but she’s near the middle of my izone bias list.) but ya know what? its fine. theres 11 other girls to like. la vie en rose is a bop. sakura i love you. that is all.

-PLEASE EX 2NE1 MEMBERS DO SOMETHIN; minzy’s touring and bom of all people seems likely to release solo work before cl but like. its sad man i dont really consider this one done. fuck yg.

-fuck an fx comeback someone just tell me if they’re alive: can i even answer this one i dont know i think i was mad when i wrote it

-some kind of jbj/ibi like group from produce 48: Nope, probably unlikely due to the difficulties of getting any akb girls over there (i follow all of the contestants on instragram and they all seem pretty busy like miu and sae and miho and miru have actual shit to do). but i can dream.

...

alright out of approximately 30 wishes (i cant count) about half of them (i cant count) were at least partially fulfilled. this year was great for a lot of groups i like but not really for my 2nd gen and post-ioi faves. all of my absolute fave stuff came from groups that didnt even exist last year- fromis, idle, and izone. 

how do i even react to all of this im feeling to many emotions. moral of the story: fuck kpop companies the end

[cscproject]

INDIA

Indian cuisine dates back over 5000 years. Each region has its own traditions, religions and culture that influence its food. Hindus tend to be vegetarian and Muslims tend to have meat dishes, although pork is forbidden. Indian food has been influenced by Mongolian, Persian and Chinese cuisine, among others. The common thread throughout the centuries remains the distinct mixing of spices that invariably give Indian cuisine its flavor and aroma. 

INGREDIENTS 

Indian ingredients are as varied as the Indian people and the available foods of each region. Masala means spice blend. Certain foods use certain spice blends. For instance, birlyani masala—cardamom, cinnamon, cloves and fennel—is used for birlyani, an oven-cooked dish of rice and a vegetable, seafood or meat. Chilies, mustard seeds, gram flour, coconut and yogurt are popular ingredients in all types of Indian cuisine. Ghee, a type of clarified butter, is used for cooking, and has a toasty taste. Saffron is used to flavor and color rice dishes. Over 5,000 years you learn to use what you have and be creative with it. 

REGIONAL CUISINE 

Food choice varies north, south, east and west. Indians from the north eat flat breads like chapati and naan, while Southern Indians prefer to eat rice and coconut. The versatile coconut not only provides milk, it thickens stews, makes a chewy snack and is used in many sweet southern dishes as an ingredient or as a garnish. Western India is more cosmopolitan, but is known for its traditional spicy curries. Mumbai, formerly Bombay, at the heart of the region, is flooded with city dwellers, students and workers. They all have their traditional cuisines, but seafood and curries, hot and spicy sausages and snacks with chai tea are popular traditional fare. East Indian food relies heavily on rice, milk and vegetables, prepared simply with yogurt, seeds and spices steamed and curried. East Indians love their sweets and use milk and other dairy products abundantly in them. 

DESSERTS 

rice pudding, similar to rice pudding in America, is called kheer. It consists of basmati rice, milk, raisins, sugar, cardamom seed and almonds. Kulfi, is an Indian ice cream made by boiling reduced milk, which is then chilled and then flavored with mango juice, rose water and sweetened with sugar. Gajar Halwa, a carrot dessert, coconut soufflé, mango mousse and Gasgase Payasam are also popular desserts. Eastern India is well known for its sweets. 

DRINKS 

Chai is a tea commonly consumed upon rising each morning. It is made by adding milk, sugar and black cardamom pods to steeped teabags. Sweet Lassi is a yogurt shake that can also be flavored with mango, a popular fruit, much like a smoothie. Ginger and lemon tea are also popular and can be used for medicinal purposes, such as indigestion. Carrot Gheer is served by adding carrot to cold milk. Alcohol is rarely consumed as it is forbidden in many Indian cultures. Tea is more popular than coffee, coconut milk, mango, guava and sugarcane juices are popular

and sold in roadside stands and kiosks. If you want something salty, Jal Jeera, water and cumin, might be to your liking. 

POPULAR DISHES 

Indian cuisine makes best use of what is available, which is why each region has its own popular dishes. Dal, a lentil dish, is popular in the North. Meen Moli, a white fish curry, is loved in the South. Western Indians can’t get along without Vindaloo, a pork dish. East Indians love their sweets—one of the most popular being Chhenagaja—chhena, flour and sugar syrup. Halwa, a popular breakfast dish, consists of wheat, butter, sugar and almonds or pistachios. Indian snacks include samosas, a spicy turnover stuffed with potatoes and peas and a puffy rice, yogurt, tamarind and potato blend snack called bhel puri. Kabobs, meatballs, tandoori (clay-baked) chicken, rasam soup, and rice cakes, called idli, are popular dishes 

POPULAR INDIAN FOODS 

BIRYANI 

I don’t think many people can quibble with the divine accolades showered on biryani after sampling a plateful of the wonderful stuff. It’s a traditional Indian food that is one of India’s most famous and beloved dishes. Biryani is a dish that was popularized in the royal kitchens of the ancient Mughal Emperors. If cooked in the traditional way, a biryani takes many hours to prepare and cook. Alternate layers of meat and rice are piled on top of one another and drizzled with ghee and spices. Then the assembly is sealed in an earthenware pot or ‘handi’ and slow cooked for many hours in an oven. 

The meat component in the Biryani might be chicken, goat meat, prawns, beef, lamb or fish. Alternatively, vegetables or paneer might be the mainstay of the vegetable biryani. A medley of spices lends this dish its heavenly appeal. Saffron, nutmeg, mace, cardamom, cinnamon, bayleaf, onions, garlic, ginger and so much more perfume this dish.The different types of biryanis can be as numerous as the plethora of ingredients. Choose from Hyderabadi Biryani, Awadhi Mutton Biryani, Sindhi Biryani, Kolkata Biryani etc. 

BUTTER CHICKEN 

When you talk about popular Indian food, you have to include Butter Chicken. Did you know that Butter Chicken was made as a result of a happy accident? It is said to have been accidentally created one day when some leftover chicken curry was added to creamy tomato gravy. Butter chicken is one of Delhi’s most famous foods. 

Butter Chicken is a decadent main dish which is best eaten with naan bread or tandoori roti. The chicken is soft and tender and submerged in a buttery, silken gravy, flavoured with a variety of spices. The butter gravy with a tomato sauce renders this dish with pleasing mild but rich flavours. The success of the dish depends largely on the marination of the chicken in a mixture

of lemon, plain yoghurt, ginger-garlic paste and spices. Ideally the chicken should be slow cooked in a tandoor oven but it may be cooked on the stove top too. Cardamom, cumin, fenugreek, cinnamon, cloves and coriander are the dish’s secret ingredients 

KEBABS (veg and non-veg) 

Kebabs are an Indian food that doesn’t need a special introduction — they are an iconic Mughal dish that is well-known all over the globe. Although kebabs have become a household name, you will be amazed by the variation in types of kebabs when you come to India. Choose from vegetarian and non vegetarian options. The names of some well loved non vegetarian kebabs are murgh malai kebab (chicken cheese kebabs), boti kebab, reshmi kebab (relatively low spiced), galauti kebab, tangri kebab, hariali kebab and more. Pieces of marinated meat are pierced with skewers and then grilled to tender perfection. Vegetables like paneer, potato and cauliflower are particularly tasty when grilled using this technique. 

TANDOORI (veg and non-veg) 

You can’t mention Punjabi food without tandoor. A tandoor is a wood or charcoal fired clay oven and the tasty morsels of meat or veg that come out of it are called tandoori. Tandoori Chicken is made by marinating chicken in yoghurt and tandoori masala and then grilling it in a tandoor. The tandoori masala lends the chicken its characteristic vibrant colour, which is due to the addition 

of cayenne pepper, Kashmiri chilli powder, turmeric and red food colouring. Tandoori chicken can be eaten as an appetizer or as a main dish. It is often eaten with naan bread. Using the same techniques of marination and grilling, vegetables or paneer can be used for preparing delicious tandoori vegetables. 

CHOLEY BHATURA 

Choley Bhatura is a satisfying dish that hails from the state of Punjab — a classic Punjabi food. It is a dish of spicy chickpeas (Choley) and a very large, fluffy, deep-fried bread (Bhatura). The meal is eaten with carrot pickle, onions, green chillies and chutney.The unusual fluffy texture of the Bhatura is created by kneading the flour with yoghurt, oil and either baking soda or yeast. 

Choley Bhatura can be eaten as a breakfast food but it’s substantial portion size and the richness of the bread create a deep feeling of satiety. I would recommend eating the meal at lunchtime and taking a long walk afterwards to aid digestion. 

PALAK PANEER 

Palak paneer (spinach and cheese) is a vegetarian that has a very pleasing silken texture and that is low on the spices. The palak, or spinach, component consists of cooked spinach that has been blended to a smooth pulp. The puréed spinach is then tempered with garlic, ginger and other spices. While the smooth spinach blend is simmering, paneer pieces are popped into the mixture and slow cooked to maintain their softness. You can eat palak paneer with plain white

rice or scoop it up with pieces of naan or tandoori roti. A bowl of palak paneer is delicious and nutritious. You can skip the green smoothie on the days you opt for palak paneer. 

DOSA 

Dosa on a banana leaf is a famous Indian food 

The dosa of South India is one of the most famous and delicious Indian foods 

This is a dish that hails from South India and is the closest Indian counterpart to the continental crepe. Made from a fermented batter of rice and black gram daal, it is then cooked to a crisp on a heavy tawa. Dosas are wonderful as hearty brunch, lunch or even dinner food. The masala dosa usually has a mild potato and onion curry stuffing. The sada dosa, comes just as is. A paper dosa has been stretched to a paper thin texture and a rava dosa is crunchier due to the addition of semolina. All dosas have the obligatory hot vegetable daal or sambar as accompaniment, along with a minced coconut chutney. 

IDLI 

Idlis are like the softest, fluffiest white cakes made of steamed rice and daal. The rice and urad daal is soaked for many hours, then stone ground to form a smooth batter. The carbohydrates in the batter are considerably broken down during the fermentation process of preparing the batter – making them easier to digest and also very tasty. The batter is steamed in an idli maker – and lo and behold you have idlis. They make the ideal breakfast food with sambar daal and coconut chutney. You can break them into pieces and pop them in your mouth or you can soak them in the daal and eat them in spoonfuls. They have a spongey texture which means they soak up any kind of liquid very well. Either way, they are the perfect healthy, non-greasy food to eat when you want to eat something non-spicy. 

SAMOSA 

Available at every street corner and neighbourhood sweet shop, the samosa is everybody’s favourite savoury snack. You can also find them as popular entrees on restaurant menus. The simple samosa is a pastry pocket, stuffed to the seams with a potato filling. The triangular shaped pastry pocket is then deep fried to a golden hue and then the samosas are served hot with a mint, coriander or tamarind chutney. The filling, though usually made from potatoes, can incorporate cauliflower and green peas when the vegetables are in season. You can even find meat filled samosas. Typically eaten as an evening snack in India, they must be accompanied by a cup of steaming masala chai. 

GULAB JAMUN 

balls of Indian sweet gulab jamun 

Gulab jamun is a famous Indian sweet that simply melts in your mouth

Gulab jamun is one of the most iconic Indian sweets and will surely give you that sugar high, particularly if you have a sweet tooth. ‘Gulab’ means rose in Hindi and ‘jamun’ translates to berry. The jamuns are made from milk solids or ‘khoya’ that has been reduced from milk by heating it over a low flame for a long time. They are then kneaded into small berry sized balls to the softest, fluffiest consistency with a little flour, then deep fried to a caramel colour in ghee or oil and then flung into the sweetest rose syrup. Flavoured with cardamom and sometimes saffron, they are the ultimate, decadent treat. 

LASSI 

Lassi is the perfect thirst quencher on a hot summer’s day. Made from plain yoghurt that has been watered down and whisked to frothy goodness, you can drink a sweet lassi or a salty one with hints of cumin. Sweet lassis can be indulgent affairs with the fruit pulp of mangoes. Drink it from a tall glass with a long straw to quench your thirst. Alternatively, rosewater may flavour a sweet lassi.

[rawchefyin]

PRACTICAL EXAMINATION 2: THE STAR OF THE PLATE Here's what I submitted to @foodfutureinstitute for my exams! This is Sambal Petai dish with Nasi 😋 I wanted to created something Malaysian and present it in a slightly more modern manner. This is called Sambal Petai dan Nasi which translates to Petai Bean Sambal with rice. The petai is normally sauted with a sambal sauce and then served together with rice. Petai is very much an acquired taste. You either hate it or love it due to the pungent aroma. I sauted most of the petai but there are also some raw slivers as some Malaysians do eat raw petai -- usually when they are young and straight from the pod together with a sambal sauce. The sambal is served as an aioli and also as spheres. The whole idea is to mix up everything together so that the sauce covers all the components of the dish when you eat it and it bursts with flavour. So it may look a bit dry but once you mix it all up until everything on the plate is coated with the sauce, it tastes out of this world. 💡Main component: Petai beans (pungent, astringent) 💡Sauce: Sambal sauce (sweet, spicy, aromatic, salty) 💡Additional element: Pandan-infused Black rice and chana dal  💡Other components included - pickled cucumbers, dehydrated mushrooms and microgreens.  💡Pickling: I pickled cucumbers so that the acidity will cut through the spiciness of the sambal (salty, sour) 💡Saute: Sauted the petai beans in the sambal sauce 💡Dehydration: I marinated sliced shiitake mushrooms with infused tamari and dehydrated them so that the flavours were even more intense. (umami, salty) 💡Sauce: Sambal sauce (sort of an aioli) But sambal in Malaysia is usually chunky so I kept it that way. Spherification: I enjoyed the cold oil spherification technique so  made the sambal into spheres too.  💡Steaming: I steamed the rice and chana dal (together with pandan leaves from my garden to give it the pandan aroma.) 💡Microgreens (more in comments, IG has run out of space!) #rcyffi #foodfutureinstitute #petai #sambalpetai #vegansambalpetai #exam #culinaryexam #spherification #malaysianfood (at Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CEk_LCKpR8l/?igshid=ovek8s1mxowc

[interwovenhistories]

Touchstone’s Cha Da Cup group co-create and publish poem with Ian Duhig

Continuing our partnership with Touchstone’s BME Dementia Service, poet Ian Duhig hosted two workshops with the Sikh Elders Cha Da Cup group who regularly attend Touchstone. The workshops have been a fantastic celebration of food, culture and personal stories and have resulted in the group poem ‘The Meaning of Food’. We are pleased to share that this group poem has been selected for publishing in the new Sewerby Hall Cookbook by New Zealand artist Ahilapalapa Rands.

These workshops have been a ‘feast of words’, as Ian encouraged the group to think about their favourite food, and what was special about it. We explored everything from how it is made, who it is made by, the ingredients, how long it’s cooked for, the smells, the textures, the taste and the whole experience of eating. The theme stimulated rich discussion about everybody’s favourite meals and what makes them extra special; it was fascinating to hear the stories, memories and experiences of enjoying everyone’s most savoured meal.

“My wife doesn’t eat meat, and I do. She cooks me food with meat in but even though she never tastes it, it’s always perfect.”

“I would eat dal every single day, and I’d always be happy. There are so many different types of dal, and it’s always got ginger, garlic and turmeric. Each ingredient is good for your body in different ways, which is why we always have them.”

The group explored their first impressions of British food, which they described as “pheeka”, meaning bland and unseasoned in Punjabi. They did, however, express their love of a nice portion of fish, chips and mushy peas wrapped in newspaper. This happy memory of food brought back treasured times by the beach, in the warm summer sunshine, back in the day when chips were just 6p a portion!

The discussion of food brought back other memories, for some people the discussion reminded them of times before they moved to England.

“I left India when I was very young. We moved to Africa, but I always had this memory of walking through the villages in India and you could smell the cooking coming from each house. For years, I craved that food so much, until I finally went back to India 36 years later.”

“There’s nothing I don’t like. It’s all in the preparation for me. If it is made with care, I am happy. My favourite would be boiled rice with vegetables, garlic, ginger and green chilli. I like it spicy.”

“Sometimes I make chapatti. You can have different breads too; roti, bhatura, salty and aloo potatoes are stuffed into the roti. I just can’t pick one, I love every food!”

“I make my own yogurt. I boil milk, and then use my finger as a temperature gauge to see if it’s hot enough. Then I add a little bit of culture and mix it and put it into my flask at 10pm. By the morning it is good, and ready for me to enjoy. I love it and my wife loves when I make it. I was shown how to use my finger to tell the temperature when I was a child. I am known as the yogurt maker in my family.”

“I love corn chapattis. I’d walk to London for a corn chapatti.”

The discussion highlighted how integral food is to our identity and culture. Sharing food is an important aspect of our social lives, and we love to share and enjoy food together. After each session, we get together to share a delicious warm curry.

Throughout the workshops, Ian encouraged the group to think about their foods in terms of poetry and some group members are planning to work on their own piece of poetry to bring to the group and share in our next session.

Interwoven Histories aims to engage elders from different BME communities, and in the upcoming months we will be reaching out to people from different communities. If you know someone or a group of people who may like to get involved in this creative project, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

[pkmntrainergreyze]

The Emo School (Chapter 3)

Previous

Chapter 3: Modern Day Pain...

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. -Benjamin Franklin

09/14/01 FRIDAY

D A L L O N   W E E K E S

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money, now that's just bull-f*ckin-sh*t Robin Williams, debunked"

I don't know how I got my hands on a 1000 funny quotes book, I don't know why I'm even reading it. Life sucks, that's how it works.

I'm contradicting myself am I? No? Okay, let's keep it that way-

"Dallon have you seen my cra-" he stopped my destructive train of thoughts that will have me go psycho again.

"No Brendon, ask Pete" I replied with a blank stare

"Uhh... no thanks"

Sycophant

Now, I guess that's my hypocrite self spitting venom. To think that I actually managed to slack off this shift made me wanna throw up. Just anxious stuff, sounds like a blog name, if I had access to blogs and not MySpace would have done things like that a long time ago.

(we have Tumblr Dal— oh wait, this is the early two thousands lel)

I'm think I'll the pink slip anytime soon, I can't help it, those lingering devils are going to be the death of me. I mean, once I enter the class I feel like choking myself for a trip to the clinic.

I sound like a really problematic guy, but then again, almost everyone has bigger problems than me. I just need to thank God I'm not in Pete's shoes.

I promise I'll do much better next Monday.

Seriously.

But then again, the students here are already talented and intelligent, sure with some exceptions nevertheless I'm still frightened by them.

"Are you just going to sit around inside the faculty Dallon? I think your students are worried. You don't have to worry about Miss Flack you know she regretted being the rebellious stage"

Snapping my head to the direction of the voice with a bit of distraught, I sighted Tyler with a box of cereal.

"Hello Tyler"

"Hello to you too Dall-"

"Salutations!"

There popped Josh with his trendy hat on, newly dyed hair, no care, like he didn't interrupted a conversation earlier, but I didn't mind and Tyler didn't seem to be upset either, they're friends after all.

"Have you seen Brendon?" "Yeah, asking for the same question here as well"

After Josh spoke, Tyler indeed raised his hand like an average student. I remained in my position before answering their very opposite toned questions "Yeah, he was just here a while ago before you entered, he probably went back to find his wee- lunchbox"

Josh smiled while Tyler's eyes furrowed a bit, questioning me with a hint of concern. "Thanks Dal, see ya later!"

With that, I was left in the room with an awkward situation with Tyler.

"U-Uh, see you later as well"

Thus, they both left the scene.

Tyler seems a little less confident today, a little more perplexed. Oh well, it is Tyler Joseph.

Sighing a bit, waiting for Brendon to get in trouble later on; I opened the book once more, licking my fingers, before entering page three hundred and ninety-four.

●-----------------------●

"Guys can someone name all the borders Egypt has-"

Riiiiiiiiing

"A-alright I'll see you all next Tuesday"

I didn't even notice the clock, oh well. Maybe I'm not fit for a History Teacher. I'd sometimes wish they could just find a replacement so I could retire and not feel bad about it.

I could hear the continous rumbling noises from the students' side of the room once they dragged the chairs out to stand up and leave. It did took me a while to understand the salty aftertaste it left on my mouth. Instead of complaining I just readied myself for the next class to enter and... Probably chew gum and place another batch underneath the tables... Our poor janitor's been through a lot today.

Chewing gum isn't cool or the janitor won't have fun in school.

That... It reminds me of Dad...

●-----------------------●

"How can you say sorry to a man who's probably high on drugs?" Ryan pondered as he took a sip of milk through a white and red stripped bendy straw.

I stared at his looking-through-space form.

"You're the philosopher and a very known substitute science teacher here, I'm pretty sure both things go well if you're a pro, you tell us"

Silence.

Then it hit me

"Wait— is that why Brendon's not here?"

That childish man-child wouldn't stop doing weird things huh? Yesterday he texted me saying stranger things with the lines of "quitting pipes", making me look like a very guileless teenager who just learned what methamphetamine means.

What—of course I knew what drugs are!

What do you mean Brendon sprinkled 'magical coke' on me, coca cola isn't a very solid material—

"Yeah, I told him to fuck off yesterday, I was really pissed off when he told me to put back the white cheese in the grocery shelves"

Of course that would happen.

"I don't know Ryan, treat him like a human being-" he gave me a mini glare, oh shit I didn't mean for it to sound... Nevermind.

"s-since some people think stoners don't have a life" I added to make it sound more... decent.

How do you control men at their age of 27? Exactly, I don't get the appeal on doing it as well, let them run around, do weird crap that'll get them fired.

Actually, don't do that.

I wonder if Brendon's interested in things like the 27 club-

No Dallon, bad thoughts Dallon. Bad thoughts.

"Just say sorry or something, give him space when he avoids you a bit too much... "

That advice sucks so bad, just like the way Ryan eats his cheese whiz.

I hope Ryan doesn't blame me if everything went downhill

"I'm blaming you if everything went downhill" He laughed after saying such playful words that make me shiver "You're too easy to read Man-Tree, and yeah, I know, it's okay if you didn't have any idea what to give for an advice"

At least he took a hint on not doing what I said.

Wait did he just compare me to a tree, I feel sorta honored—

From the corner of my left eye; I saw Patrick sprinting away confused and scared of Ryan's words.

"Eh, now I understand why Patrick would start to avoid me" "You can say that again"

●-----------------------●

I'm still unsure how to feel about Miss Williams' presence in the cafeteria. I mean, sure, she's known for being a great librarian and she also teaches in the senior building but still...

I'm still not used to seeing her here rather that seeing her inside the library, reading somethings I don't understand.

"Geez Dal, is it really weird for me to buy food here?"

"Yes Hayley, it just is"

She laughs and put down the tray on top of the cliche tables. The clock strucking on twelve would make sure that break's over.

"Well, get used to it. I'm tired of waking up early to make lunch, and besides food here is amazing" Her laugh has always been familiar for everyone. The Juniors considers her a cool and casual teacher that they'll love to learn from... Wish I could be like that, not complaining though, I love Dadlon.

"Hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't eat here and all"

"I know Dal"

●-----------------------●

"I feel like the electrolyte in a battery terminal"

"Why so Frankie?"

"Please don't call me that Dallon" Frank cringed before rubbing his shoulders while it shook. Seems like only Gerard can get to call him that, what a shame.

"I just got here, what happened?" I threw the plastic from the burgers straight down the trashcan, he just watched and waited until I come back.

"Welp, two of my rad students just roasted one another and now teachers are pretty much asking me things I don't even know" He sighed, stressed.

"I mean, how am I supposed to know what's the cause of the problem?" He flipped his hands and shrugged, as of to look clueless and annoyed.

"Don't you roast people?"

Okay, why did I say that.

"..."

"...Oh yeah I get it, whatever. I'm proud of my students, if I we're the principal I'll let them graduate" His comment of self awareness isn't making things better.

●-----------------------●

"Hey Brendon you alright?"

Brendon's been pulling his hair for a straight minute, he's bent over while sitting on his chair like he's going to break any minute, of course he's not alright.

"I-I can't take it"

His eyes looked puffy from both crying and a side effect of something I wouldn't wanna know.

"Shh, it's going to be okay" I tried removing the hands he used to cup his face but he appears to be much stronger than me.

He curls up, knees now covering his eyes and his arms strengthening the force that defends his pride.

"What happened?"

"Re-relapse? I don't f*cking know. I've been trying to make myself think that I won't be smoking but it always ends up like this Dal"

"Shh, shh, I'll tell Pete you're sick, I'll substitute"

Okay, wrong move, I don't know how to deal with students. But for Brendon... I wouldn't mind helping... He's a great friend after all, even though he's kind of a dick.

"T-thanks..."

"Anytime"

●-----------------------●

"It gets tiring honestly" I sipped on a new batch of coffee I prepared just two minutes ago while Ryan speaks gibberish, well, genius gibberish... That's not a thing I know.

"Sometimes people just forget that they should know who's worth their time and happiness or not, and they'll often use destructive emotions to get into the way of their relationship until two sides wouldn't dare speak with each other while one is hurting" He continued as he licked on the spoon of Cheese Whiz, gliding the cheese up to the tip of the spoon.

"Tell me Dal, have you given up a friendship?"

"Well, I don't think I have the guts to" I spoke with honesty "—but I should do that"

"Wow, that's kind of not conforting my situation right now"

"Oh sorry"

"But in all seriousness, I just hope he makes up his damn mind and if he ever says it's over then he should just keep it like we're strangers."

"Geez, you sure are quite frank with this. Have you lived through a rough path or something?" I successfully lightened up the mood, I can see Ryan smiling fron the corner of my eye.

"Well, you can't trust people easily who knows, they might steal your cheese" I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

"Ryan, no one says that"

"I did so deal with it Dallon"

●-----------------------●

"Hey there Mister Way" Micheal looked from his behind to see me greeting him "I've heard you've been visiting the music room with Mister Toro, what instrument are you interested in again?"

"More like forced by my brother and Ray, they want me to play the bass" Sounds about right.

"I could help you, you know?"

He shrugs "Thanks"

That blank stare would be the death of me, he looks like that one hero in an action movie that does Karate and that has bad temper.

Why is the Way brother's so complicated?

●-----------------------●

"Joshuuuuaa"

"Tyleeeeeer"

I witnessed one of those amazing scenes a human eye could record.

It was the miraculous handshake that the bestest friends does whenever they had the chance. Yeah, it may not be that rare of an action but it something that keeps me going.

"Woah, that's so cool guys!"

That was a big mistake.

Tyler hissed and threw his arms around Josh's neck while he tried hard to carry his odd friend. "Woah Tyler!"

"He. Just. Witnessed. Our. Secret. Handshake!" He hissed once more, emphasizing on each word. He added more stress on it than any normal person would.

"It's not that big of a deal—" "Of course it's a big deal Josh! That was something special to me! To us!"

Can I compare Tyler to a cat by now?

Seriously, he sounds like a cat thats been impaled with a knife to the gutter.

... Don't ask me why I know this.

●-----------------------●

"Okay Brendon, truth or dare?"

"Uhh... I'd say truth"

"If Ryan, Dallon or Spencer were to be hanging at the edge of a cliff, who would you pick?"

Brendon smirked as he continued to share a gaze with Spencer, who's shaking his head with the similar curved line plastered in his face.

"We all know the answer would lead to some four-thousand long *ss fanfiction"

What does he even mean by that? What's a fan fiction? Whatever it's probably Ryan. Although he wouldn't talk about him since...

wait

"What happened with you and Ryan?"

There was this prolonged silence that shouldn't have been that long if Brendon decided to speak early but he decided to go against the idea. He just stared, a little empty, like the time he was pranked

"He's having emotional mood swings inappropriate for his age, is all"

Well, I wouldn't call it a mood swing.

I mean, Ryan just love cheese, it's not like he's actually addicted to it like people joked around, right?

"Not true babe, I remember him using Cheese instead of cucumbers for therapeutic purposes" He emphasized on Babe and Therapeutic Purposes just to lace a sarcastic vibe on the topic about Ryan...

....

Nah, not true.

"Well, suit yourself"

I don't know why I'm easy to read.

"Because you're saying things out loud Mister Weekes!" The british transferee answered in such amusement. Spencer choked on his drink as he attempts to stiffle a laugh while the others, such as Josh and Frank (Iero, getting tired of correcting what Frank am I talking about with how many Franks are there) did not show any shame.

"Am I really saying it out loud?" Murmurous was the way my voice behaved. Patrick frantically nodded "Hells yeah"

"Hells yeah? Mister Stump says Hells Yeah?" Pete chimed in, slipping a seat next to Patrick and Tyler. "For the record Patrick, I am not letting you forget that, it's just historic- oh Mister Sheeran can you please hand the books you used to Miss Williams? It's been a week. Thanks"

As soon as the last student left for such 'delivery', the sounds of students seems to be getting farther and farther; with the exception of those who stays to wait for their service/school bus of course.

"What's up?" Pete joined the party.

"Nothing much, just our traditional Truth or Dare Friday, Brendon's turn to ask" While Joe—who just finished his class at Grade Twelve—spoke, Pete sips into his starbucks coffee.

"Cool, continue Brendon"

"You in?"

"Nah"

"Pay for view."

Joe's small joke sent Pete a payful glare at the Trohman-Fro man. "Later", he answered.

"Well, Gerard" there was this sparking tension once Gerard's responce came knocking "Yes?"

Brendon's face turned rock solid, like some action movie interrogation is about to happen as he stared at what seems to be a "punk criminal" at the moment and he was Clint Eastwood. Gerard didn't even flinch or look fazed, but rather reserved. "Do you believe in aliens?"

The fuc-

The question made him flinch real bad, some shocking news right? Brendon smirks, but no laughter was heard from him, rather the other players—plus Pete—in the game.

"I-I-uh..." Gerard pushes the stray locks of hairs behind the back of his ear, odd enough, I could now feel his nervousness. What, is he an alien or something?

"I-I'd say I'm a little too hesitant to answer that"

"Boo" Pete's response made others laugh along, although Gerard did glare at him.

I never thought a mysterious—and almost nefarious—character like him woulf sound nervous and look sweaty at that moment, "it's like that moment came from somewhere else"

"Agreed" Spencer replied in approval.

I'm speaking out loud again am I? Is this because of my lack of sleep? Yeesus— I mean... Yeah.

"Imagine if Gerard's an alien" The thought was bothering me and I have to say it, sorry "I mean, he looks like he could be one— I mean, he loves the scent of drugstores"

The conversation carried on with Frank adding details and the others consistently listening to his talk about Gerard's secret origins fron Reprise, even made a narration out of it

"And he's the artist who would get out of a planet called Reprise since he's so f*cking lonesome— Oh let's give him a acquaintances" Frank glances at the others with cheeks puffing from the breath he's beginning to hold, Pete laughs "How 'bout an alien space companion?"

"Oh! How about a pink masked alien-"

"no" Gerard blocked but Spencer's muffled laughs is still heard.

"-named Lola!" Josh's voice has audible enough and Gerard-proof for everyone to hear

And thus, this ship about an imaginary alien and a grumpy teacher was born

●-----------------------●

"Are you sure he didn't say that in a more normal way? Are you sure this story is real? I mean, it's a bit too descriptive if you ask me that's kinda skeptical—"

"No, he said it in a Gerard Way, of course he's weird Dallon. All the teachers here are way too young and talented Dal, they say and do weird things" Pete said, pathetically laughing at his own joke. He didn't mind though, he's too happy to even care. "And incase you forgot students here are as talented as well, only this time they're quite well known, and you're special too Dallon, you're a well known bassist not only in town you know? So hearing a story about a drunk comic artist isn't that odd if you know where to go"

"I... I just don't believe he would go around and say Easy Peasy Pumpkin Peasy and stuff like that..."

"He also said Pumpkin pie motherfucker in case you forgot" He added in such delight, I swear if this is some japanese cartoon there would be flying sparkles everywhere.

I stayed behind because I have to prepare myself for upcoming Summative Assessments and since I already noted Pete that Brendon won't come he said I should do his work for tomorrow. Welp, this is what friends are for, some are worth doing examinations for.

"Well, you haven't heard of Brendon's campfire stories back then haven't you?" Pete asked with a small smile, I shook my head to say no.

"No, I haven't"

I just came to this school last year, in November so I missed the month.

"Eheh, he should be doing that soon, our camping is in October after all, shame you didn't git to attend last year too" He teased "—he loves to freak kids out. I remember that one time he told the story of... What was that? LA Devotee was it? Oh, he doesn't only do horror, he actually tells some funny ones... He'd act drunk and tell history stuff just to mock the old history teacher"

I bet you all twenty bucks he was drunk, and about the history thing....

Looks like I'm not looking forward to that.

"Aww, don't be Dal" He pouted as he placed the globe on the top shelf "He just love to tease the guy so much, gosh I couldn't remember his name"

"Looks like you're old enough to retire" Joe chimed in with a small joke that had Pete to glare at him.

"Not yet Joe"

"Heh, my bad"

"I haven't heard of the old history teacher"

"I think his name was Briar or something, we're not that close" Joe shrugged as I almost wanna place my grabby habds to his hair. "He never really came back since he had to take care of something"

"Oh, I see" I just hope Brendon doesn't make fun of me at camping

"Oh dear, you're about to see how things go down in history at October. Some retirees would visit the school at the month" Pete smiled once more before snapping his fingers "Oh yeah! Last time we had Mister Tre to roast the kids' marshmallows"

"Yeah and he almost burned his clothes"

"It was pretty dope to see him roll around" Joe added more to his statement before chuckling loudly.

Our twittering didn't last long, like it usually does. Pete heard a call from his phone in the office, wow, he sure has some very nice hearing.

"Woops, be right back!" He left the room after he pointed his index finger to us.

"Bet you ten bucks it's his father"

"No need Joe, I already know it's him"

"I really love the way Pete still loves his Dad even though he just let him control one school, unlike his siblings" I chortled this time "welp, I think his father's just testing him. I think he's still new for a Principal"

"Yeah that's true, seems like only yesterday we'd jam out into Green Day and Misfits" He reminisced over the past memories.

"Wait, are you guys almost at the same age?"

"Yeah, Pete isn't that old as he looks. He's so fuckin' immature back then you know? God, his hair sucks so bad back in his emo phase"

"I HEARD THAT!"

Joe frozed but then the ice melted away when I snickered at the newfound look

"BUT ITS TRUE!"

Haha, yep. I still wanna teach at this school.

I looked around the office once more and found something pretty odd. It was a picture frame with four veey familiar figures.

"Is that..." I pointed at the object as Joe tilted his head lightly before snapping.

"Oh, that picture? Yeah, that was when we were to take a picture for an album we never really released"

"Really?" "Yes really"

"Then why does Andy looked like he's been edited to the picture?"

Joe snorted

"Andy always poses in that semi-sideview way, he's really there when the picture was shot. I swear" He said in all seriousness to stress on his words. I rolled my eyes.

"I doubt that"

"Oh why wont you ask Andy" "Wont be be offended though?"

"How would Princess be?" Joe stared with sincere confusion "He'd probably laugh cause it's true"

"Would he? That's more like your thing Joe" I muttered lowly but hoped for him to hear the words at the same time.

"... Yeah you're right kiddo"

I picked it out, thumbs onto the front frame and the others to support it. It was filtered in a light blue shade. It was Pete, Andy, Patrick and Joe from left to right. The names were written in beautiful fonts and were printed nicely, although seeing "Peter" and "Joseph" still makes me uncomfortable.

Joe was right, Pete's hair does suck so bad.

"Ouch, you guys are teaming up on me now? Jesus" Pete soon entered without me noticing, eh, I don't care if he heard my thoughs anymore.

"Hey, don't say his name in vain Peter" Joseph scolded with a small smirk when he said his name.

"Don't be a hypocrite Joseph, remember Senior Prom?"

"Oh I remember your geeky dance very well Peter" Joe laughed as he got coffee from the machine. Pete laughed as it seemed like the plan of bringing back awkward memories backfired.

"Whatever Joseph Roughman"

"I'm pretty sure the announcer at that time was kinky as hell" Joe and Pete continued the conversation, forgetting my presence. I don't mind, it's funny to watch them being so comfortable.

"Ah, didn't Patrick had this tied hair to the back that time?" "I think so, although nothing can defeat Brendon's forehead"

"Ye-yeah, right" Pete slyly hid his with his hair with a crooked smile. "Right..." He reassured himself, Joe smirks larger than earlier.

"Welp, we sure had good times with the band huh?"

"Yeah... I miss screaming"

"Eh, I miss Patrick's soul voice more than yours"

Pete glared at Joe as Joe defensively raised his two hands high. "Just sayin'! Just sayin'!"

"So... What was the name of the band?"

"Not was Dallon, it's kind of an underground band but we're Fall Out Boy"

"So you guys still a thing?"

"If you meant in a four-some gay relationship hell no, but sure why not?" Joe winked as Pete shivered in disgust

"Joe you disgust me" "I could tell that myself Pete"

"Don't mind Joe, but yeah, we still are. It's just that we're on a break for a while now" Pete grabbed Joe's empty cup into the trashcan as he asked for. "—I mean, even Ryan and Spencer was in a band with that Brent guy"

"Brent? Like Brendon?"

"Nope, Brent is a different person from our beloved B-den"

"Oh, never really knew about him" I sighed then placed the picture back at the table to which I saw it first. Pete gasped once it processed.

"Wait, you haven't heard of it yet? They'd use to play as Slight Anxiety or something, but Brent left and all. They're pretty well known in Nevada, New Jersey and Chicago. You probably heard of them from Mister Gioia as well" After Joe stated it I just brushed it for now, I should ask him that tomorrow.

"Nah, not really"

"I should lend you my copy of the cds sometime. Although don't forget, the titles are really wordy" His offering made me smile. Joe did the same. Wow, they're acting like a very supportive family, I might get my Dad vibes on.

"Oh, thank you. I'd love to hear it— I mean it's not like I'm doing that cause you're my boss or something but—"

"It's okay Dal. No problem" He understands.

[kassassq]

Basics of Food Management

Basics of Food Management

Basics of Food Management

Basics of Food Management

Nourishment is such an essential piece of our reality. Our lives spin around it from our waking minute onwards. Nourishment and devouring go inseparably and even festivals everywhere throughout the world and overall societies are fixated on nourishment. Our antiquated Indian sacred texts separate nourishment into three classes, for example, Satvic or unadulterated nourishments: These are nourishments that mend, comfort, succulent, smooth and increment life span, knowledge and quality and are processed well by our framework. Rajasik or the classy nourishments: These are salty, zesty, unpleasant, salty and can offer ascent to sick wellbeing, despondency or uneasiness. Tamasik or the polluted nourishments: These incorporate stale, chilly, leftover nourishments, unclean and half-cooked making extraordinary mischief the psyche and the body. Nourishment is one part of our life that we underestimate. We are less aware of the nourishment that we expend. We leave our bodies to manage the consistent maltreatment from our everyday lives and ways of life. We, people, without underestimating our body, need to make wellbeing creating frameworks and assemble a unity with nourishment, gainful activities, yoga, restorative breathing and reflection, rest and rest and be profoundly mindful and cognizant. These means convert into better stamina, quality, tone and vitality with accentuation overall body as a substance, one that emphasizes health and prosperity. The nourishment we eat establishes the framework for each cell and tissue in our body. The reason for nourishment is to support us, construct quality and to give indispensable vitality. Stomach related concordance is the key for the arrival of this imperative vitality required for sound living. The study of Ayurveda - the imaginative and useful life science - says that all aspects of our brain and body are represented by the DOSHAS - the bio-fiery power or components that support life. Refined, prepared and saved nourishments are altogether absolutely without this sustenance and imperativeness. Healthy, crude and normal nourishments that have assimilated the grandiose vitality, and are too accused of sufficient precipitation and daylight must be used to the fullest for wellbeing and health. The dad of medication, Hippocrates said "thy nourishment is thy drug. The type of food you eat will affect your general health and what you eat you become". To a large portion of us eating great nourishment is simply one more errand and an inconsequential activity. What number of us are extremely aware of the way that great nourishment performs supernatural occurrences inside our cells and tissues and is liable for 80 percent of our change. Nourishment subtly affects our psyches also. Nourishment assumes an urgent job in impacting our cerebrum conduct, our states of mind, and points of view and in taking care of pressure. It is these healthy, regular nourishments that present wellbeing and power freeing and shielding us from sicknesses. Studies have indicated that there are two dietary procedures in the human body-sustaining and purifying that should be managed with acceptable and reasonable dietary propensities. Whenever dismissed, it can prompt a development of poisons which are the reason for general mental and physical degeneration. Wellbeing isn't only an extraordinary body or a zero size figure however covers physical wellness, mind science and profound development and our endeavors ought to be an incorporated methodology towards health. To accomplish this eat fitting nourishments that don't disintegrate our stomach related framework. Truly, I mean, go genuine simple on each one of those low-quality nourishments, soda pops, stale, cold food sources and over the top meat-eating and liquor. Rather, start to adore organic products, veggies, nuts and nourishments in their characteristic healthy structure. It is critical to 'take into account your yearning and not spoil your hunger.' I am encouraging you to follow this and not consider it a 'diet'. It isn't expected for weight reduction alone. Despite what might be expected, it is a significant piece of a solid way of life. In this way, let us praise great wellbeing. How frequently have you gone over the words 'solid' and 'nourishment' in a similar sentence, yet decided to overlook it? In spite of monitoring the numerous advantages of eating healthy, I see such a significant number of individuals around me underestimating their wellbeing. Our body is what we think about it. So why fill it with undesirable nourishment and wind up enduring its worst part. Eating well has countless favorable circumstances, some of them being: 1. Forestalls and control medical issues like heart illnesses, hypertension, type 2 diabetes. 2. With great nourishment, your body turns out to be better furnished to manage pressure. 3. Great nourishment invigorates the body to make more executioner cells to avoid contaminations along these lines advancing invulnerability. 4. Nourishment furnishes us with malady battling cancer prevention agents and can slow the normal procedure of maturing. Indian eating regimens, with care and arranging, are normal and natural involving grains, heartbeats and dals, products of the soil, nuts, and oilseeds; all in satisfactory adds up to look after wellbeing. Diet and Nutrition are answerable for 70 to 80% of your whole change. Nourishment likewise impacts your point of view, disposition and conduct. Some nourishments can cause you to feel high, there are food sources that can make you fractious and touchy, there are food sources that can energize you, and there are food sources that can loosen up you. Indian weight control plans suit the Indian populace the best contingent on our way of life, climatic conditions, air, contamination and so forth. When some time getting a charge out of different cooking styles is incredible, yet would you ever need to exclusively rely upon pasta and burgers time after time and face the dangers joined to expending such unfortunate, known sinewy nourishments? As referenced over the wellbeing dangers are bounty! Our eating regimens incorporate complex sugars from jawar, bajra, ragi, entire wheat and so forth rather than the refined starches. Our weight control plans are intended to ensure our hearts with low degrees of oils, fats, sugars. Truth be told our weight control plans find some kind of harmony of all nutritional categories, nothing to an extreme and nothing excessively little. High sugar admission is proportionate to diabetes, high-fat levels can prompt hypercholesterolemia, hypertension, heart maladies, strokes and so on. My brilliant guidelines for better wellbeing: Keep in mind, our bodies are custom-fitted to devour what we have been since youth and what our dads, fore dads have been expending. Our weight control plans of Rotis, dals/beats, veggies, grow, plates of mixed greens and so forth regularly will guarantee total wellbeing instead of steady utilization of shoddy nourishments/burgers/pizzas/overabundance measures of cheddar, cream and so forth. Relish on all that you love, yet recall that, anything excessively little or a lot of is similarly harming... Rules for smart dieting and weight the board Observe these brilliant standards/steps of good dieting for accomplishing a sound weight reduction and to augment your wellbeing and life span: 1. Visit little helpings of nourishment are suggested. Eat gradually. Eating as often as possible forestalls cravings for food, gives steady vitality and keeps up digestion productively. 2. Select nourishments dependent on your inclination and don't stress as a lot over the number of calories you expend however focus on consolidating the correct food sources and on the segment sizes. Try not to deny yourself. This is probably going to make you eat more the following day. 3. Mix it up of nourishments to your day by day diet. Incorporate healthy nourishments like vegetables, natural products, nuts, seeds, sprouts, and entire grains. These nourishments give all the fundamental supplements and fiber which are vital for development, great wellbeing, and invulnerability. 4. Drink every day 8 to 10 glasses of fluids like water and natural teas. These beverages are fillers are hunger directors. 5. Incorporate new organic products, new unstrained vegetable juices, vegetables, grows, entire grains, nuts, and low-fat milk/yogurt. 6. Drink a glass of ginger/green tea after a substantial supper. This rushes absorption and improves digestion. 7. Expend sound tidbits like plates of mixed greens, wafers, natural products, unsweetened and low-fat yogurt, wholegrain scones and biscuits. 8. Peruse names well and pick nourishments that don't contain synthetic compounds like additives and added substances. Naturally developed nourishments are a more beneficial alternative. 9. Stay away from terrible fats like spread, cream full-cream milk and rich serving of mixed greens dressings and sauces. Take care not to wipe out wellsprings of good fats like nuts, seeds, and olive oils that contain unsaturated fats. Utilize these nourishments with some restraint. 10. Wipeout white flour items like bread and scones, pasta, white rice, prepared nourishments, and sugary breakfast grains. They need fiber. They likewise cause a spike in our insulin level prompting fat stockpiling. 11. Exercise all the time. Extending, yoga, workout, strolling and other mellow types of oxygen-consuming exercises are suggested. These activities should be possible at home or in an exercise center with direction. Stress can be diminished through yoga, meditation, great rest and sound rest. 12. Keep away from sodas, and juices. Likewise maintain a strategic distance from desserts, treats, and seared tidbits. Rather, eat an assortment of supplement thick nourishments. Farthest point the utilization of handled nourishments, singed nourishments and quick nourishments. If you should have them, make sure to practice control. Control is the key when you eat what you need without feeling denied. 13. Use cooking strategies like stewing, steaming, barbecuing and simmering as opposed to broiling. Great wellbeing is the consequence of cognizant responsibility that includes numerous elements like the nourishment we eat, works out, mental prosperity, rest and rest. Consistency is the most significant factor about great nourishment. At the point when you are frequently on the run, you need an arrangement that you can without much of a stretch receive and one that highlights an establishment of sound nourishment. Eating regular all around adjusted suppers is fundamental for any individual who needs to lose or look after weight, have vitality and stamina for the day, helped insusceptibility, to improve center and fixation or more for Mickeymizing your health remainder!

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[sweeetsky]

It's three in the god damn afternoon and Harry can feel the light strike his eyes, even if he hasn't opened them yet. The staleness in his mouth and a hard head moving on the ridge of his stomach. His chest is bear and he's welcomed by Noel looking up at him, dizzy on sleep but he's up and "my neck hurts Harry." He says groggy and tired and he looks way too young to be hungover and he is and Harry feels slightly guilty for getting a seventeen year old drunk, but hey he's done it before. Harry tries opening his eyes a bit more, an effort that takes way too long then it needs to, like he's coming back into this dimension after being away for so long. He see's Adrien tucked against Liams back, there in a weird mesh that looks entirely too comfortable and not cozy at all, but Liams foot is in front of Harrys face. And how in the hell did they all fit in this bed?

Adrien groans lightly he's still out, Liam barely even moving, chest moving up and down subtly Harry has to blink back in focus to make sure Liam is actually breathing. His fingers find Noels hair and he cards threw it lightly. "Get up, you can sleep in my spot." He tells him and Noel looks at him with a tired nod as they switch places and Harry gets out of bed. His knees cracking slightly as he walks around picking up random items of clothing that belong to one or all of them, he's not sure these days. But he puts on what could be Liams shirt, putting the rest of the clothes on the corner chair till these assholes actually wake up by themselves, he doesn't have the heart, patience nor energy after all that drinking they did last night.

He runs to the bathroom praying he doesn't find a bewildered Kelly. He loves the girl, he really does but if she obnoxiously talks way too loud with alcohol kicking in his system and "Aftahnoon' to ya HARRY!" rings through his ears right now, he might actually cry. But Kelly isn't around, maybe out with her friends or Sophie, she'll probably come back and swoon Noel away, he'll make sure to make kissy faces and draw big elaborate hearts in the air as she flicks him off and Noel will blush or wink, probably both.

He steps into the bathroom and rinses his mouth and washes his face letting parts of his hair get wet and doesn't spend too much time in there. He's been in this place before, so many times its like a home. Walking down the hallway and into the kitchen he spots Zayn sitting on a stool, something in his cup maybe tea or coffee he's not sure, but it smells really good.

"You made breakfast? I have the best wife in the world!" He half shouts or yells, he's not sure but he thinks he's loosing his voice. Was he screaming all last night? Most likely.

"It's three in the afternoon, you bitch." Zayn sips his coffee or tea.Voice sounding cool, unbothered, quiet, yet fucking Zayn.

"I know" Harry opens the fridge twirls around and catches Zayns expression letting the cool air touch his chest. He's tired too, eyes sort of sunken in, dark long lashes low as he looks in his cup again, taking a drink, and his shoulders are slumped. "And you didn't make breakfast..." Harry says with a pout but he's not really pouting,he knows that it's way too late for breakfast but still.

"You're better at it." Zayn smirks,almost chipper and Harry already knows where this is going. "Eggs, pancakes, waffles, cereal, turkey bacon?" "Turkey bacon's too salty." "Do you have milk?" Harry is still turned, looking at Zayn like a short order cook. "You're right next to the fridge!" "I'm askin you though!" "Maybe." Zayn quirks a brow. "Such a tease." "You're one and only."

Harry takes out what he can, he finds the milk, flour, the eggs, Zayn stashed a box of Lucky Charms all the way in the back of the pantry, fucking asshole thought he wouldn't find this gem. But he places everything out on the counters five bowls and five plates, they can pick and choose later on, but they'll probably eat everything they always do.

"You need a hand?" He hears Adriens voice coming into the kitchen he's walking like he's a million fucking bucks and honestly Harry has no idea how the hell he does it.

"You actually asking or you pulling on my balls Addy?" Harry is flipping pancakes now, a dish towel on his shoulder and he already made a shit load of eggs and hash browns that they better eat or so help him god....

"Nah, seeing you work makes me want to admire.... from afar." He smiles and slaps Harry on the shoulder staying close as his arms wrap around his waist and squeezes and Harry fake chokes like he's being suffocated. "The bloody pancakes mate!" He laughs and yeah his throat is defiantly hurting.

Noel and Liam aren't far along. Noel completely shirtless and so pale, well not as pale as when he first met him, and is he getting muscles? For a split second it takes him to Kelly. But he shakes that thought, quickly because one, Kelly would kill him-telepathically or otherwise, and two, Noel is his brother now and even though he treasures those kids, it's a bit surreal that they are, well sort of grown but aren't, but they are in love, and he needs to leave it all alone. He'll leave it all to Zayn, because Kelly is his actual sister and they've already talked about this, once or twice before in low whispers in each others ears. When Noel looks at Kelly and she tilts her head smiling up at him and there having a conversation all on there own with no words just eyes,like destined lovers in epic love stories and movies that you see, the type you're kinda scared to see in two teenagers still in high school. And "...she's happier now." Zayn would whisper back into Harry's ear and Harry would look at him and nod,smile a little at the young couple, because Zayns right, they are all a bit happier now. He shouldn't be so worried. Maybe it's not really his place.  

Liam walks next to Noel, hands stuffed into his basketball shorts, yawning as he hops on the counter next to Adrien who's drowning his Captain Crunch in milk that's holding on a wing and prayer. He'll probably have to munch on dry Fruit Loops but he doesn't mind.

"Our babies making us breakfast, Daddy's so proud." Harry peeks at him with the corner of his eye as he's finishing up the last batch of pancakes on the griddle and tosses a way too flamboyant hand in the air as Liam picks at the eggs. "Warm up the pita bread, to go with it." "Where's it at?" "Freezer." He puts the big plate of fluffy pancakes in front of all of them, some are choc-chip, he found a half bag hiding next to the curry mix. Liam puts the warmed up pita bread next to the eggs,everything and more is there but Zayn.

He's out in the balcony on the phone, maybe with Essie, and they got too loud. Harry watches as everyone settles in with there plate and bowls and finding there utensils, Liam bargains in to just eating the pancakes with his hands. Something he swears he might of picked up from Zayn from all the roti and dal they're so used to eating now. Zayn's smoking a cigarette, shirtless and laughing on the phone through the big balcony window, he catches Harry's eye and sticks his tongue out and Harry rolls his eyes and does an over-expressive grin and lifts up his plate of pancakes and Zayn nods, he'll be there soon.

Everyone is eating silently but not really, comments about last night and "fuck this food tastes really good, or i'm just still high." Liam comments and everyone laughs, Zayn is still on the phone. Adrien takes his plate and moves to the balcony window, immediately catching Zayns attention with all the hip thrusts and the loud moaning and screeching he does, as Noel follows with his bowl of cereal and blows kisses at Zayn shaking his bum. Liam laughs, his eyes joyous and squinting he flicks Zayn off as Zayn does the same. They're all idiots who have been dropped on there heads way too many times yet there still all here in one piece, enjoying each others company.

"Fuuuck..." Liam says looking at his phone, "I gotta close today." "What?" Harry talks with food still in his mouth, most of them are done with theres, and it's almost five thirty, he's always been a slow eater, especially when he's hung over. " hy an't o st lse morrow?" "What?" Liam shakes his head. Harry swallows, "why can't you just close tomorrow?" "I missed too many days fool," he taps Harry's nose, "not all of us are payed ballahs shot callers." He says with a smile and puts his dishes in the sink. "But i gotta go like right now." He pouts reaching up in the pantry getting a powdered donut from a box he leaves on the counter. "You gonna wear my shirt for the whole day?" Liam points to the one Harry is wearing. "It's actually mine!" Adrien calls from the couch he and Noel are well into a game of NBA 2K14. Liam dismisses it with a loud noise, and Harry laughs, "it's a bit dirty mate." stuffing his face with another pancake as syrup sits at the corner of his mouth wiping it with the hem of the shirt. "Well ... now", he laughs. Liam rolls his eyes bites into his donut and walks his way back down the hall, "keep it, fuck ass." Harry only laughs harder. Zayn finally comes in and shuts the balcony door behind him, looking at his friends with pleasant eyes. He smells like menthol and something else he can't pin point right now, but he takes a plate of the left over pancakes and eggs, a bowl of Lucky Charms and sits next to Harry, knees knocking and Harry feels even better all of a sudden, yet he doesn't remember feeling anything less. Maybe its the last wave of the hangover finally passing. They sort of eat in silence as Noel and Adrien chant about something in the living room. He can hear them laughing and he hates how they are all infectious sometimes, because it only leads him to smile about something he has no clue about.

"You out did your self." Zayn says fork in his hand. "I kinda burnt the eggs." "I like it though. You actually flavor the food, unlike most." He drizzles syrup all over the cakes, it sort of looks artistic, fucking show off. "I'm not like most." Harry smiles and he's still on his second pancake, the bowl of Fruit Loops switched out for Cocoa Puffs,he gave the last bit to Noel and the bit of milk he saved for Zayn. Harry doesn't really like milk with his cereal sometimes so he's fine with it. "That's true." He hums

Liam comes strutting down the hall, fully clothed in what looks like Zayns skinny jeans and Adriens Iron Maiden t-shirt and the jacket he bought him like four Christmases ago and Harry has to admit he filled it out well. "I'm off bitches! Papas gotta go get the cash. He finds his snap-back behind the couch and car keys jingle in his hands. "Hell ya going mate?" Adrien calls out. "Work! I just said this boo." "Are those my car keys?" Adrien gets off the couch "Might be." Liam widens his eyes obnoxiously, he knows Adrien doesn't really care, they borrow and use each others cars all the time, and Liam probably figured out that Adrien picked him up and he didn't actually drive here himself last night. "You both are idiots!" Harry yells at them from the kitchen. "Yeah, idiots!" Zayn echos and they both laugh

Adrien makes a face like he doesn't want to leave, but there are a million other things he knows he could be doing right now, like check up on his brother, make sure no one in his family burned themselves alive and all that, and he should probably go but he knows how they all feel. They barely see the fool, these days. "What time you get off work Li?" "Ten." "We meet here at eleven then?" "I'll have to see Ros, so.." "Okay midnight?" "You're not tired?" "Mate..." Adrien gives Liam a knowing look, like don't be fucking ridiculous. "Drop me off at my place then, then come and pick me up." "Aight lets go den!" Adrien makes it quick and puts on his shoes, zipping up a hoodie he has no shirt underneath and jumps on Liams back. "Don't leave me alone in this world Jack!" He yells dramatically. "Shut up Rose!" And everyone is laughing and waving as the two make it out the door with a playful shriek, and Harry wonders if the neighbors really hate them yet, but he knows they do. He can still hear them bickering in the hallway but there voices eventually fade.

When Zayn is finished, which was still faster than Harry-Harry had moved on to the cereal to munch loudly on. Zayn puts a hot steaming cup in front of him, it was what he was drinking earlier, even in the same cup. He probably didn't even finish it, just topped it off with a new batch, but Harry could care less. "Drink this, for your throat." Zayn smiles and takes the bowl of Coca Puffs to munch on. And he does, it's Sadaf, with ginger and mint leafs and it's super strong but he likes the flavor on his tongue, so he can't complain. His throat thanks him. Zayn is the only one, somehow and someway that knows how Harry likes his tea. It could just be a very pretentious asinine British thing to not let just anyone serve you tea, but Zayn gets it right every damn time no matter the flavor or time of day. "Are you my fairy god mother? Say yes, so I know it's real." "I'm more like a badass guardian angel with mad skills, ja feel?" "Ja definitely feel." Harry takes a big gulp, and maybe too soon cuz he might of burned his tongue right now, but he doesn't care or at least tries not to show it, but he feels his cheeks turn red. "Mashallah." They burst into laughter.

It seemed like Zayns place had people going in and out, and all around and Harry's laying on the couch. Adrien and Liam came back as loud and obnoxious as before. After six, Essie had come by and Zayn took her out. So it was only Harry and Noel in the apartment. After cleaning up dishes and playing four rounds of FIFA with Noel and Tariq making an impromptu and way too short visit, they knocked out again around eight thirty and didn't wake up till Harry felt Liam squeezing his nose, so he couldn't breathe through his nostrils. Harry swatted and Liam ducked, that fucking asshole.

"I got The Concurring, Oldboy, aaand Submarine." Liam takes out the dvd's from the bag. They're all in the living room huddled together. Adrien finding a spot behind Harry on the couch, his hand tucked under his arm, like they've been in this position before, and they have.

"We have Netflix bruv, you know half of all the shitty movies in one place."

Liam throws the dvd cover of Old Boy in Harry's face.

"Well 'bruv' it's movie night and it's my turn for the movie I want." Liam sits down on the floor, putting in the dvd.

"Noel..." Liam coos he has that slight grin, where he lifts up one brow and bits on his lower lip, it's a look of mischief and complete stupidity and Harry knows it so well he can't help but find it cute throughout the years and equally annoying.

"No." Noel says not even looking up from his phone that's lighting up his face, Harry can see all his freckles from across the room.

"Popcorn please??" Liam is pouting now, hands tucked behind his head on the plush floor. "Free Xbox games." Noel simply states, he's gotten so good with this, being around them makes you a fucking heathen(even thought they loved each other to bits) and if Noel hadn't learned by now... "Are you fucking serious?" "Yep." He chuckles and slides further into the cushions of the love seat, "I know when I'm being used, Lili." It's heart lighted and funny but everyone knows what he means if you look a bit deeper. "Two games. That's it." You would think it's just Liam giving in but Liam isn't fucking stupid, he cares about Noel too. Noel gets up like it's the easiest thing in the world and slides into the kitchen flickering all the lights. "All for fucking popcorn?" Adrien mumbles and Harry feels the light prickling of his scruff and his breathe on the back of his neck and it makes him laugh. "I'm not trynna get up, my body's on off mode and I had to inventory, make the young do all the work." Liam moans and takes one of the spare pillows from the couch the one underneath Harry's arm and lays back down. "Oh!" He yells back, "extra butter, hold the caramel, and oh! Chocolate!" "There's no chocolate!" everyone yells in unison and they all laugh.

Zayn comes in through the front door moments later, which seems like hours because when Harry looked at the clock it was only one in the morning. Adrien is knocked out on the couch that Harry abandoned. Sometimes Adrien kicks in his sleep so he's been lying next to Liam who's totally gone and totally hogged the pillow and he's been laying on a sore side but it's more comfortable than sitting on his bum.

The movie is somewhere done or just beginning he hasn't been paying much attention. Noel has his head buried underneath a pillow after one gruesome scene he didn't like very much, he doesn't blame him.

Harry can't really see Zayns face, just the light from the TV catches at what it can get and Harry sits up from the floor.

"You seen Es?" "Yeah." He's making his way to the living room,voices low. "What are you watching?" "Oldboy." "Is it any good?" "I can't really say." Harry yawns and stretches, rubs his eyes as Zayn sits next to him on the floor backs against the sofa, legs stretched out. They look at each other, Harry can still see how tired he is even in the dark and he's wondering why Zayn's so quiet, but he sort of always is, but this feels off. Or he could just be over analyzing with barely any sleep in his system. "Tariq came by." Harry automatically leans his head on Zayn, as he feels his arm swing over his shoulder, they stay like that for a minute. "I know, I went to go see him too." "He said he loved me then he left, is that what loves like Zay?" Zayn rests his chin on Harry's big head and he can feel him smile. "Don't take it so personally,Tariq's a heart breaker." The sarcasm in his voice bellows and Harry finds sleep really attractive right now. "The worst." He yawns.

Harry's in a weird state where he's pretty sure he's asleep or right about to fall asleep but something pulls on his mind. He feels the soft breathing of Zayn  and how warm his hand feels,his arm is still around his shoulder and they're still sort of sitting up, and Zayn is probably fast asleep, but they'll get uncomfortable in his position soon if they don't find an alternative. "Zayn?" "Hm." "Lay down." "Right." They do, on there backs and Harry is surprised Zayns eyes are wide open, blinking into grey darkness, he's not sure what time it is, but he can see him better now. They're still sleepy though, they have to be. "What are you thinking about?" Zayn wasn't looking at him before and now he is. Dark eyes finding his, and he's wearing his favorite jean jacket, the one with all the patches, he can see it now. "How I have a bed, you know one I can sleep in." "Yeah, so? But this is better innit? Five musketeers, fanning out in your living room, brotherly bonding and all that." Zayn quietly chuckles or hums it's a mixture of both and Harry can feel it hit his chest like it's his. "So what's on your mind?" Harry asks again, a bit more firmly, his eyelids seem closed but he isn't going to fall asleep till Zayn really answers him this time, or at least tries. "Time's just a concept right?" "Yeah...most things are Zay, it's what you make of it, ya know, being around people you love, doing things you've always wanted." He yawns, "makindabest of every chance you get allofdatbull..." "What if we run out?" Harry opens his eyes, he wants to say something, ask the forty one and a half questions that just accumulated in his mind in the first ten seconds of silence. But that's where they sit in, silence, because Harry doesn't want to assume anything,he has before. And Zayn could just be having one of those 'I'm questioning everything at four a.m.' type ordeal and it's fine. He's had those countless of times and if anything, he should be the one asking weird questions at four a.m. But it's Zayn and he swears he knows him so well, yet he's always surprised.

"Absolutely not." He whispers, touching Zayns cheek with two soft fingers.Harry almost furrows his brow as to say 'time never runs out on us, are you mad? When has time stopped us from doing anything? when has anything stopped us?' But he doesn't and he's not sure where those his own thoughts came from or what's hanging in the corners of Zayns mind right now, but he prays maybe some rest will mend it.

"Go to sleep." Harry says with a small turn of his lip, "you're creeping me out." Harry turns the other way facing the popcorn bowl and Liam starts to lightly snore. He feels fingers rest on his back and squeezes his eyes shut to shake all the things he wants to say cutting at his tongue.

The clicking at the door is distracting because it wasn't the first time Harry feels like he's heard it in his head. It's like keys jingling and muffled giggles, and it takes a while but he hears the front door open.

"I told you I had the key!" It's Kelly and she's beaming, Harry doesn't have to open his eyes to know she's walking in with a smile on her face. "Took you long enough babe." He hear's Sophies voice right after. They both giggle and shh' each other finding the first thing they see are the boys huddled in the living room asleep, or trying to.

Harry opens his eyes and turns, expression as tired as he was to begin with lifting his head and staring at the two girls.

"Ew." Sophie laughs and Kelly snorts. "A bit of peace, wouldn't kill anyone." He grumbles, laying back flat on the floor. His shoulder bumps into Zayns who's still out like a light.

"Oh shut up hillbilly, all of you've been sleeping way too much anyway." Kelly has bags in her hands, fancy ones with long French names.

Harry tries finding his phone next to him, "It's only eight, shops open up early this morning?"

"Took Kelly shopping yesterday, when you all seemed to have some frick frat party in here causing grief." Sophie disappears in the hallway going into Kelly's room putting the bags on the side of the bed.

Harry doesn't realize Noel is already awake on the other couch, and Kelly walks towards his direction after looking at her brother, that she knows he can hear her, he'd just rather sleep.

"We were having an annual gathering of Gods, you know, mortals like you can't really understand." Harry is smug looking at his messages and missed calls.

"Don't be a twat." He hears Sophie in the back, she sounds like she's in the kitchen, 'good luck finding anything in there,' he thinks.

"Istufurallah" Zayn breathes in his sleep, turning to his side, Harry chuckles and presses his back against him, so there backs touch. Zayn used to say something about not really into feeling trapped, closed spaces included, but somehow he didn't mind with Harry.

Noel reaches out his hand and pulls Kelly down to him against the couch when she's near, pressing a small kiss at the crook of her neck and she smiles with her eyes closed laughing. "Morning" he mumbles and she hums, "morning."

Everyone eventually wakes up Zayn being the last, after an hour or so doting around not really talking about anything, and Sophie being silent all of a sudden when Liam starts talking to Harry about just going out for breakfast, and no he can pitch in this time, Harry only laughs with skepticism because he'll end up paying, not like he minds.

Noel, Liam and Adrien brought a bag of clothes to change. Harry wasn't so bright but Zayn lets him raid his closet as they both got ready. Chests bare in Zayns room, not shy or sheepish they've seen so much anyway. Harry slides into a red sweater and black skinnies, the one with the most rips and random holes, he feels like it could have belonged to him one day, but that days' long gone. He sits on top of Zayns bed, elbows bent, playing with a silver skull ring on his index finger. He looks up and he can see Zayns spine bending on tattooed skin, the swallow moving as his shoulder blades move as he puts on a black shirt with a cool design.

"You make a young girl, blush. Got me all scruffy Zayn." Harry teases with a voice too high of an octave, it sort of sound southern-but he British accent just suffocates it. Zayn shakes his head laughing, "Fuck off." "Show me your guns first, handsome." Harry sticks his tongue out and grins.

In particular, Harry has always been, not jealous, but just... on days he's being ridiculously insecure and brass, wanted to look more like him. Zayn with his dark hair and really long eyelashes, eyes like honey, and a great facial structure. The one you see in expensive magazines, lapped up in Milan or Tokyo (how the world decided that Zayn and Harry to meet is still some what of a mystery to him). A face that could cut you or mend your broken heart, one you wanted to do good by. He's wanted to be quiet like Zayn, keep his reassurance tucked away, somewhere Harry can't even find. He wishes he could do that sometimes.

They chose Duke's Canoe Club where they can eat together and in front of the ocean view of Honolulu. When they get there, Harry and Zayn in the Audi, Liam and Adrien in there Land Rover, and Sophie stuck to Kelly's hip and Noel stayed along, driving them in his own car. Harry thinks about it for a second, wondering if he's been thankful today. He does this now, with all the things that have went to shit for the past five years of his life, maybe even further. If he's been thankful, and his hands round tighter on the steering wheel. Be thankful Harry, don't ruin it Harry.

"I heard it doesn't really matter you know?" Zayn says as he's looking out the window. "What?" Harry says looking at Zayn for a second then looking at the road. "That if Pluto's not a planet." He sucks his teeth, because that's not the point. "You zoned out Haz." "I do that sometimes," Harry says with a light smile and turns into an intersection that should get them to the place faster "... its just thinking 'thas all."

Zayn nods, lets it sit in the air, and turns the music up, it's an old song they used to listen to most of freshman year. Dance Gavin Dance he thinks.

"What station is this?" Zayn asks "It's not, its the mixed CD you made me, sophomore year." "Really?" "Yeah." Harry runs a hand through his hair and takes the next exit. "You kept it this long?" "Why wouldn't I? I love this song," He grins and starts shaking his head in the rhythm putting up the volume higher than needed "I LOVE ALL THE SONGS!"

"YOU'LL GO FAR ON THE BACK OF A POTATO. MAKIN FRENCH FRIES IN THE SNOW. THEN YOU'LL STEAL THAN YOU'LL BORROW. YOU'LL BE RED YOU'LL BE GOLD!" They sang as loudly and obnoxiously till Harry was in the drive way, everyone was already there.

They got a good view in the corner of the restaurant. Essie and Jade are already sitting down next to Sophie and Kelly tucked away as the boys sit around, everyone's talking and Zayn and Harry come in like they're missing out on a joke.

Harry smiles at Jade, she rolls her eyes playfully and he gives her a hug, and he daps Essie. They don't hug, they've never had. Essie gives Zayn a kiss, he isn't sure but he thought he saw Jade rolling her eyes, he doesn't blame her.

They order so much food. The table is long and cluttered with too many plates. He's on his second mango smoothie, the one that's real fruity and the cut strawberries on the side of the straw, fancy stuff, "you're missing out" he tells Liam and he makes a face at Harry.

A waiter comes by and asks if they're 'finally' finished and if the check was needed, Harry looks around to make sure and nods. Everyone claps, he doesn't know why but Adrien started it. Essie and Jade and Sophie boo but he just shakes his head.

"Hater just gonna hate!" He exclaims in a snobbish pitch and it makes Noel laugh.

"Boy, I can buy my own breakfast." "Then where is it?" Harry laughs, and he knows that look Essie gives, like if he moves just a little bit to the left she can....

"Be nice." Zayn glares his eyes at the both of them, and he's right, he'll shut his mouth, this time.

After the check and more blabbing about something they won't really remember. From Liam should stay way from the gossip (Sophie cosigned silently with death glares at Liam, as she sips on her strawberry lemonade.) to Adrien actually hanging out with them, you know be the star leader and all, and maybe Harry should cut his hair a bit more, Jade thinks it looks like a heap of dirty laundry, but he's heard worse. They talk about other things too, current events, simple things, and things that has all of them sitting in comfortable silence.

"I'm not cutting my bloody hair." Harry says as they walk out of Dukes, Zayn is right beside him and Jade over hears. "Ye should mate! A New Year look and all that!" She jumps on his back, he doesn't mind, just locks his arms,and hikes her up. "No!" He yells and he hears her laughing behind him, Harry runs through the parking lot with Jade on his back. He'll never tell her how much he doesn't mind the randomness she causes.

It takes a minute to figure out who's going with who. They decided to go out later to the one of the nightclubs. Sophie insisted on a new club one in Waikiki, Essie felt the same way. Harry didn't want to know how Sophie knew about all the posh clubs, she's barely even been on the island for a year, and it's overwhelming all of it sometimes, because when she came back to him, she was a whole different person, and he's still getting used to it.

Noel and Kelly kind of stay back, shroud themselves in each other, not really interested in the plan, which is. Fine because what nightclub, would let a bunch of seventeen year olds in? And Harry could slide them under the table and management could turn an eye for a good word. And Sophie, well Sophie usually got what she wanted and getting into nightclubs wasn't that hard for her at all. But they decided to sit it out, maybe they had there own plans with there own friends.

Harry decided he would take Sophie home, and the rest split, Essie would drive Jade and Zayn  and Liam was with Adrien, and they would all meet up later at Kiss&Fly.

The car ride back is quiet, sort of, Sophie skips a lot of songs till she gets to one of the  last one on the CD, gets bored and switches on the radio till she found something she liked.

Harry doesn't really mind, he could bicker but what would be the use.

"Your place..." He starts off and Sophie isn't really paying any attention to him, "you like it?"

She's quiet for a moment till she looks at her older brother, it's a bit surreal to her but he'll never know that.

"Yeah, I do. Has everything I want." "And the guy..." "Which one?" She says it amusingly, like it's something that makes her chuckle at night. Having all these men at her feet whenever she likes, to bend and take care of her, when he couldn't-when he didn't. Who taught her this? But Harry has no room to judge anymore, not when he left when she needed him the most. "Iono, does, he treat you right? He doesn't force nothing." Sophie chuckles and looks out of he window for a moment, quiet. "It's fine, I'm not having sex with them if that's what you're trying to ask." Well not all of them anyway-another thing he doesn't need to know about. "Well it ain't." He says it defensively but dammit he has a right to know about these things. She's still so young even if she doesn't really act like it, and he's still her brother. "I just wanna know if he treating you right 'thas all." "Yep." She says it as to end this dreaded conversation and opens the glove department, finding the cigs, and the lighter she doesn't bother rolling down the window when smokes rolls out of her mouth. And Harry hates it when people smoke in his car, well without asking.

He rolls down the windows from he button on his side, and it's still a long way off to her apartment, she lives further out in the city and he's only seen the outside of her building just a few times but it's posh as hell, if he remembers probably better than his own. But he's not that elaborate on taste and interior designing, just someplace clean and keeps a good roof over his head, and he'd be fine.

Harry can't really take the radio anymore so he turns it off and he drives in silence. When Sophie speaks it sort of frightens him only because he doesn't expect it. "Nan." She says simply, and blows smoke out of her nose "I had a dream about nan." Harry isn't sure whether to smile because she's remembering or tear up but he does neither just nods as he's driving like 'that's good that's so good.'. "You knew it was nan? I..I mean..." "I knew," she says and sits up a bit "I felt it, and like... I dunno, felt like I was going through a memory, fucking weird she had really long hair, in a-" "In a braid, yeah?" Harry finishes and he's trying to keep his eye on the road and Sophies eyes gleam in the tiniest hints but it's there. "Yeah, I dunno it was trippy ye? She said... in the dream, I had my mothers eyes... so much fire. Twilight zone type shit right?" Harry only chuckles, Sophie does have there mothers eyes, the blue blue that seems to go on in it's own way. Crystal like the water up far in Kauai, he's seen that type of blue after thunder storms too.   Harry makes a right turn into the main street he has to take, "you... you get anything else? Any other dreams or memories?"

If he had to say this was easy it wasn't. Harry is choking on a million questions and apologizes he feels his mouth would be too sore to ever speak again, if he started with them, but increments.

Patience. He had o learn patience if he wanted o get anywhere with his little sister.

"hm... I'm not really sure it's not really a memory.Someone I see in my head, like when I'm falling asleep I always see her in my head." This is the first time he thinks he's heard Sophie sound serene,-he can't remember the last time he has. Harry thinks she's talking about there mother, and... "She has curly hair... and... she kinda smiles like you, dimples and stuff. She looks mixed though, really dashing like the kids you see in the telly, Disney or some shit." Sophie is looking at him to answer or nod but he doesn't, he drives into her building passing he security and the big iron gates that push open.

When he parks he kills the engine and takes a moment before he turns to her. Increments, remember? He doesn't know what it'll do to her if he just starts telling her things right off the bat. He's slightly read up on this type of stuff. He wanted to take her to specialist but he still remember the bloody chew out she served him, just for mentioning it, and he doesn't want to be back at square one with her.

And sometimes, he wants to take out photo albums, the ones he kept from his trip back to England (the funeral for a girl who wasn't even Sophie.Who ever she was he was glad to just lay her to rest.), and show her old photos. The one of there father kissing there mother and he had a bowl cut with a really ugly vest and Sophie in her mothers arms barely a week old, it was all smiles, and the photo still smells like vanilla because when it was developed, it was on the kitchen table and he was supposed to help make his birthday cake and the vanilla extract spilled all over the photo instead.

He wants to show her photos and albums, point out and this is nan, this is our cousin Gemma she lives in Wales and Brody her brother who divorced his wife of seventeen years with three kids, finally left her to be with the man he really did love, and now they live in East London, and they have a house in France they went to once, and he can barely remember. And so many more, but he can't do all of that now, it's not the time that he can call on, no matter how eager and impatient he can get, this isn't his call.

"That's our little sister, Hayden." He says calmly, as he watches her. Sophie only nods, "Okay." "Do... you want to know more about her?" And that question sounds extremely weird in his mouth, mostly because it's a stupid one, of course she would, right? She only nods again, "you should come up",she says. Sophie doesn't really give him the time to asses it all, she just gets out of the car and butts her cig on the pavement, walking to the big glass doors that someone already has open for her, he follows suit, and walks down the lobby to the elevators where she waits. She holds up a finger in he air,"just only tell me about her, okay?" Harry smiles, "sure."

Most of the afternoon he's thankful to say, is spent with Sophie. Her apartment is lush, cut, sophisticated, with white walls and pretty high ceilings for just an apartment. His stomach sinks of course, because "how?" and "why?" and "oh gosh, Soph..." but he keeps most of his concerns in he back of his mind, for next time, not all but most. They sit next to a big window in what seems to be her hallway on a small decorative bench, it's big view mainly over the city and the water, he could see the other end of he boardwalk if he squinted hard enough.   They talk about Hayden, for hours. He tells her she's fifteen now. Haydens father was there mothers lover and it feels sort of awkward at first like he's opening up old things he's hidden so well underneath the bed, but her face isn't too distraught she just takes it in, mechanically, like this is it, this is a person that's part of your life. "Does she know I'm.." "She knows you... you're alive." Everyone that needs to does, after all the craziness, and the mystery girl with Sophie's name on her headstone(he's always wanted to ask if Sophie knew this girl that looked so much like her but he doesn't dare, doesn't even let himself think about it too much right now.) He pleaded with everyone to just let Sophie be, and no he's not gonna send her up to England, he wants her to decide all of that on her own. One day on her own time and terms.

Harry offers that they can talk to her if she wants, but she shakes her head no, and doesn't push it further on.

Sophie gives him a small tour of he place and it's a big apartment for someone to live in alone, sort of. He asks in his own way if she's alright about ten times as he walks the halls and into a guest room, and through the massive kitchen, like "nobody bothers you?" and "are you sure you don't want to move closer in the city?"

When he leaves, she pushes his head at the jokes he makes on living so high in a building like she's on Home Alone or something and she laughs. Harry knows she's not a hugger-least not with him, but he pulls her into one when she's not expecting it. Sophie is frigid, there height is almost the same she's only two or three inches shorter than him and she squirms but eventually settles, and pats his back, not serious or affectionate. Harry holds on to her, she could say all she wanted but he was a good hugger.

When Harry gets home he actually checks his text messages when he found his phone in his left pocket of his jeans, he'd been searching everywhere in his car at first. Two from Zayn about tonight and he address of the damn club, and 'you think jade has a thing for es?' Harry sighs, 'we're on this topic again?' It takes a couple of hours before he gets anything back but his phone bleeps when he's laying down on his bed after a shower. 'yeah' 'wut happened?' 'it's like i'm the third wheel.' 'i mean its cool they hang and r close, like me and u but...' 'they arent me and u... but, but what?' 'spill tea, malik.' 'jade says some sus ass things, like in front of me and i wonder if es, just not picking up on it, or she's cool wit it.' 'talmbout "you're the one for me, nobody else Essie!" and they whisper a lot of shit behind my back, maybe not trash talk, but it dont sound simple either.' 'you tell jade to quit it?' 'no, i already talked about it with es, like she told me they kissed like way back but said it wasn't a big deal.' '& then she gonna ask about me and u.' 'lol what about me n u?' 'this the stuff es, sort of makes me side eye about bruv.' 'too much madness to send in one text! lmaooo!!' 'ya better get dem tings man!' 'lmaoo i hate you.' ':)' 'you getting ready?' Harry was about to reply when he gets a pic of Liam in his shirt and some boxers with a kissy face and all he possible emoji's and he can't help but laugh, he saves it for his background for September. Right now it's still the pic of Noel hitting himself with a tennis racket-really classic.

He sends Liam a 'i'll sell my soul for you.' And promptly gets a 'just callin me daddy is enuf ;)'

He goes back to texting Zayn. 'i just showered so yeah.. guess i am.' 'without me?' 'we talked about this...' 'lmfaooo better delete these txts before es, goes thru ur phone!' '!!!!!! SHUT UP!' 'HAHAHAA!!!!'

Everyone is there by around eleven forty, people are bustling in line, and Harry, Adrien and his "date",some Aussie model, who hates Real Madrid, and Harry just gives Adrien a very questionable look who also gives him a very questionable look, he sort of misses the days when Adrien used to date Flori. They are the one of the firsts of the group.They could go inside but he'd rather wait to see all of them first before they're thrashed in neon lights, heavy music beating against there heads. He see's Liam and Zayn walking towards them in the distance. At first he wonders where the girls are, but there right behind them. Sophie, Essie, Jade, and even Ros, have there arms linked like a chain, close knit and tight.The boys greet and chatter for a few minutes, so do the girls.

Sophie takes lead and the bouncer seems to recognize her and they're immediately let in. Harry gravitates to Zayn naturally, he looks a bit better, maybe not full on ecstatic about being here, but when was the last time they all clubbed together, right?

Kiss&Fly isn't actually that bad. Harry takes a look around and it's really actually not that bad. The dance floor seems to fill in a sea of people, dancing there hearts out and a bar that looks fancy with all it's bubbly drinks, the place is huge. There are acrobats hanging from the ceiling all around, and what seems like dubiously nude strippers high up on there poles. And Harry feels Liam hit his shoulder, "Bruh." he says. "I know." Harry only blinks at the sights he's seeing, it's sort of everything in one place but it wasn't trashy, or too uptight, and he still felt welcomed here.

Sophie guides them along and they get tucked into an open booth where she asks the waitress who's in something that looks ethereal and completely vulgar all at the same time,for a two bottles of something expensive and drinks all around. They chatter and get comfy around each other till drinks are handed and after that, Harry really can't question anything anymore. With a drink in his hand he see's Adrien and "Katie" humming something about dancing and after a few minutes, he doesn't see them for while, Essie and Zayn are tucked into each others company, Jade looks like she's in conversation with Sophie, in turn aren't really paying attention to him, Ros and Liam are long gone they probably went to join Katie and Adrien, he's not sure.

Harry calls over the waitress for a patron, he slides her five hundreds for exchange. She nods and comes back immediately with all of them in ones. Zayn catches his attention, spins his index finger up in the air, and Harry grins. Zayn doesn't know whether to be proud or mortified.

The next couple of minutes are somewhat retrospective to a blur. He's crowded by people, by dancers, and glitter and lights that wave across him like he's nothing. The strippers well they were just that, and he tosses money at there feet and he's having one hell of a time, because someone pulls him back into the dance floor. He spots familiar faces, Sophie here, Jade and Es there but they vanish and reappear ever so often. Girls approach him and he's not sure which one, but he pulls her close and looks her in the eye just to confirm she wants to be close-those types of things, he thinks he's pretty good at. He doesn't touch girls that don' want to be touched, anyone matter of fact. And he likes to use that sense a lot, you know grasp, pull, push, smooth, crush with his hands. He needs to feel it as much as he's allowed to.

The girl is really pretty as much as he can make out, she's blonde but her skin is tanned dark and her curls fall to her face. First her back is against his chest and she grinds on him, moving with the music, hands on her waist, to her hips. Then there face to face or face to chest, and Harry feels more people are gathering around, which is impossible and possible all at the same time, he really doesn't know. He's pulled into kiss, it's sweet, they taste like candy lipgloss and he pulls back. "Hu.." he only manages to pull out, but he keeps dancing as the girl smiles back at him, he'd ask her for her name but... "Harry." He hears it in the shell of his ear, he's not sure who said it, but when he turns slightly it's Adrien and Liam and they're all dancing all moving. Adrien isn't dancing with Katie, no it's two other girls or three and Liam is right behind Ros's frame and another girl is with them, making them all collide and look like one piece apart and not part of anything at all.

There's so many people here, it's exhausting really, how everyone is touching, smearing into each other like a mishap that was waiting to happen, and Harry feels his heart beating ridiculously fast.  

He's still dancing and honestly he doesn't know how many times he's kissed someone in these sort of things, it doesn't bother him. He's single, and always has been after Taylor which feels like lifetimes ago. And no, he's always since then had sort of a heartbreak fever, acting like he can't see the signs of when a girl is attached. When they call and he doesn't, it's like he's in a void, just to get in and to get out, don't attach. He's always been good with the lovers to friends, friends to lovers then back to friends again thing because that's just what he does now, even if some people refuse to speak to him again, he isn't heartbroken about it.

A really fast beat song comes one, one with base you can feel all the way to your toes, the really good kind, that takes you to a place. He see's his friends here and there and even dances with them. Jade shy as always but he keeps it light and fun with her, He see's how Essie is attached to Zayn once when he turned around next to the mixing table, they're so fucking close, like she's about to melt into him, and how his hand curves to her ass, his eyelids low, staring at her.Essie is fit always has been and Zayn always had great taste, and they look like something completely out of a dream where you wake up hot to the touch, and you're not sure why your hips want to move so much, ache to press into something, but Harry see's Zayn sliding his tongue in her mouth and now he knows.

At his right, he spots Liam walking off, from the crowd of people with another group, and if Harry wasn't paying attention he would have missed Ros, looking back. There eyes meet and he instantly gravitates towards her, he tries to speak but the music is way too loud for regular distance.

"Where's Liam goin?" He speaks close to her ear. She bends forward, " I don't know. Old friends. I don't know... 'll be back." 'Ok' he mouths and he bends towards her again, "dance." She looks tired for a second, but it eases right off when he raises a brow at her-his stupid smile. Leading her to the dance floor started off light and energetic, he watched as she moved around with the beat, her long hair bouncing and strands sticking to her cheek, he was tempted to move. He doesn't remember how they got close, they haven't danced like this since there old high school parties forever ago. But this was different and maybe because the crowd was getting full and it was inevitable to not feel skin. But his hand is around her waist, easily feeling the skin there, fingers feeling the curve of her ribs, and her arms around his neck, that slide to his open chest and there foreheads are touching.

He doesn't think about letting go, and if she does and walks off, it's fine, he won't be hurt. She's not his, and never was. But he remembers so much with her as well as the way she used to look at Liam in high school, in the hallway back pressed against the locker room, as he'd saunter away in gym shorts and that laugh where he'd smile with his eyes barely visible. He never blamed her for falling in love with that. But he never got why Liam acted like he didn't notice her, or maybe he did;get as much as you can in high school, you only live once, and girls are beautiful and bountiful no need to just stick to just one-some stuff Liam would say in his own words.

But Roslin was Roslin, and he remembers when they became friends so quickly. He was inviting her to places (showing her off to Liam. Liam look she's here, Liam see, look how wonderful she is, look look look.), and copying off of her biology homework, and she laughed at his stupid puns, and they talked about a lot of things, what was going to happen after high school,and where the world is going and where they wanted to be, and when she'd cry on his shoulder. So she wasn't unfamiliar with him and he wasn't with her because it all felt so natural, even the fighting. A lot of things do. But she was never his.

Ros is turned around, her grip on him releasing, and swings with her heel and she's giggling  "Sophie." She says, with a smile that's all warm and inviting. They keep, dancing till Harry melts off from the dance floor. He feels so exhilarated, fast tempered and just needs another drink. "1800, two." He says to the bartender who just smiles and nods. Looking around, he feels like he's in some heavenly fucked up fairy heaven with all the purple and blue lights, heavy heat of the people, and no one seems to give a care about the world outside. The bartender slides him his drink and he gulps it down one, right after the other. He's been drinking all night, from the various bottles, and Pierres' something to keep him up and high, and he'll regret this in the morning.

Harry see's Zayn at here table, he's standing up drinking something in his hand, and Harry walks over. "Haz!" They both laugh because well, shit they're both mildly drunk and why does it feel he hasn't seen him in years?He doesn't want to feel that, so he stands close to him, like it'll ebb the feeling away, putting his arm around his shoulder, he turns and talks in his ear. "...good. feeling good?" "Yeah," Harry feels Zayns breathe in his ear, "you?...I think I like this place." "Me too, i'm good, i'm good." And its psycho blabber, they talk about everything and nothing just standing there cheek to cheek in fast rhythm. Harry looks at him when Zayn turns his attention to the crowd, there's glitter all over his hair,and the way the pink and purple lights hit his face makes everything else background noise. He see's him frown and lick his lips, and he could easily turn to see what he's looking at, but Harry moves closer, puts his hand around his waist, and lops his fingers on the top hem of his jeans. Zayn doesn't flinch, would he need to? Harry's back hits a wall that he doesn't remember being there, and he's staring at Zayn who's grinning at him, and Harry smiles back like he wants to say something but doesn't, instead he's moving his shoulders, bobbing his head at the music and Zayn is doing the same. It feels familiar, like they've danced to this song before. This isn't really out of the ordinary, but if someone came up to them, in a very acute angle, it could look like something else, entirely on it's own, and Harry still has his hand on Zayn's waist, and Zayns face is so close to his. Harry's danced with each of the boys before, it's not something he's really ashamed of, they all have fun. Mostly with Adrien sometimes, and even Liam didn't mind as long as no one stepped on his toes. They usually kept it as it was, how they felt with the music. With Zayn at first he was a little stiff, but eventually get into it, with Harry he noticed he was calculating, they usually danced in sync, no one was able to tell who from who sometimes.

The music ends though, fades away into another song, and they both just smile at each other like a job well done, and Zayn presses a smile on Harry's shoulder, but eventually it passes. He won't talk about how his abs tighten a little, how he's already half-way hard, but it's expected and it's not urgent that it needs to be dealt with. He likes it, it's like a tease,a small pressure, a build up somewhere in his stomach and it makes everything else that more tantalizing.

Harry has no idea how, but he ends up on the roof, guessing that this is also another gift from Kiss&Fly, he remembers being pulled up the narrow stairs. There are already lights when he gets up to the roof, a complementary bar and contortionists all around. The music is a bit different here, it's slower a bit more threatening, and the dance crowd is as big as it is downstairs but they're sexier. Harry's eyes feel closed and open all at the same time but he feels a small hand in his, he see's Roslin. And he doesn't remember meeting up with her again, or how Adrien is dancing with Sophie and he's moving her hair to the side, but... Roslin calls his attention, she's so close to him, he doesn't realize that he has a grip on her and his hand is no where near appropriate, because he's gripping on her ass, and he can feel the light fabric of her dress, and it's not helping the roll of slight lust, and closeness of it all, it's heavy and she smells so sweet. But they just keep dancing,keep  moving.

Hell, it takes a few moments, but they finally sort of unlatch from each other, and he leads her out of he dance crowd. He's smiling down at her, like he just came home from a long trip. Harry does wonder where Liam is, for a moment he misses his mate, but Ros starts up a conversation as they hang back from the crowd, leaning on a railing.

"I'm not really that mad at you anymore." She says and Harry just laughs. "Don't ever be, okay?" "I can't promise that." He laughs again, "that's true." So does she, and he's looking at her, this time from gleam lights that dance on her skin, and glitter is all over her too, he wonders if he looks like a sweaty idiot a he moment,so he shakes his hair in place. Her lips are a warm pink and her eyes light up, maybe as a warning or to be cautious. But Harry catches himself, checking her out, it's so hard not to. "I'm gonna go now." She says, but she's still standing there, "To find... I dunno... yeah." And she's not making any sense to Harry, she's probably drunk too. "Don't go." He honestly doesn't mean to say it, it was just stuck on his tongue, a thought that was not thought out correctly, but here it was, up in the air. "Did you really like my sister... like that?" She asks and she's turning her body towards him, they're close again. "No." He simply states, and its the god honest truth. "Then..." She keeps it as a question, maybe not sure how o fully ask it, but Harry gets it. "Idunno.... " he says in her ear, he doesn't need to be that close but still, "I liked you better, I've always have." She nods, like it's that simple, when he looks at her, like she's agreeing or understanding, and her lips pout a little, quive like she wants to say something. He feels it, the press of her lips, on his own, and he's kissing her. Not like that first time no, this is so different. He doesn't taste the salt of her tears or the helplessness of it all, and maybe she was imagining Liam in his place, maybe she is now.

But this feels soft and warm, and the small breathe on his cheek, and he keeps kissing her, pulling her close as her mouth opens up for him, his hand on her cheek, trailing fingers down he side of her neck. It's sort of an apology, but it's quaint, it's friendly, yet it's not; because Harry has kissed so many people before, to make them feel better, because they wanted it, or just cause. No deep perpetual life altering meaning. It's just for the time being, because Harry doesn't really want to believe in love. But he'll be a filler for anybody that needs it, for a moment, then it's gone.  

When Harry wakes up, the sun is right in his eyes. Like he'd been resurrected. His ears feels like they've been exasperated by water. When he looks around, as slow and as weary as he is. He could be in a strangers house, it's happened. He'll have to think of an excuse, or show his way out. Or talk, he doesn't really like talking after one night stands. But if he wakes up in random places like his doormat, or just laying on someones couch he's fine, he'll even make them coffee, maybe, depends.

But he looks down and he's shirtless yet he still has on his pants on. The covers are familiar, he looks over and see's Zayn, sleeping quietly on his pillow, the covers up to his neck. He wants to ruin it so bad,the peacefulness of it all, but he lets his mate sleep, he'll make fun of him for drooling later.

Harry moves under the covers, and Zayn shoots up awake. He's always sucked at being subtle, quiet soft, it never works.

"Fuck." Harry laughs, "topofdamornin'" Zayn looks miserable like he wants to fall asleep again, but he puts his head back against the pillow and blinks several times. "What the hell happened?" "Beats me," Harry straightens up. They're in Zayns bedroom, and he has no clue how they got there, but they're there, in one piece... hopefully. "I think Soph, took us to an alternate universe and hoped we get trapped there." "True," Zayn looks like he's trying to get comfortable again, beating the pillow and all, but it's no use, they're up. Plus Harry won't let him go back to sleep now. "I think I can feel my brain, vibrating like to a Chingy song." "Mine too." Harry slinks back into the bed, rolls and lands on Zayn who is in no type of mood, but oh well.He puts his weight on him and Zayn protests, pinching Harry on his side,they play fight for almost twenty seconds, but it gets ridiculously tiring. Hangovers twice in a row is not a good look.

They move from the bedroom, and Kelly and Sophie are in the kitchen. They find, Adrien and a girl who sorta looks like Katie on the sofa sitting up, eating biscuits with jam and honey. Harry wants to barf.

"Look who's finally up." Sophie smiles, she has a hot cup of coffee, and Harry wants to steal it from her. Kelly looks at her brother, shaking her head "you guys look disgusting." Sophie laughs.

Zayn mimicks her voice, "shut up Ramziya." He has a full smile despite the headache approaching fast, and puts Kelly under his arm, fluffing up her big curls.

"STOP! Let go iblis! Shaytan!" Kelly squeals.

Harry decides to make him and Zayn tea instead. He rubs his eyes and Adrien is already walking Katie to the door, who waves and smiles and thanks them for a great night.

Kelly and Sophie take there conversation into Kellys room. He sighs and waits for the kettle, but see's Adrien look at Sophie, who's only wearing an oversized HPU sweater she probably borrowed and he see's his eyes linger, which... in any case irritates him.

It's not too far when it gets quiet and Zayn's looking at him, at Adrien and Sophie then back a Harry. "Haz," He feels Zayns hand on his shoulder, waiting. "It ain't a thing." He wants to let it go, 'not right now'.

Moments later Adrien, says he has to leave, he has castings in an hour. Harry hugs him though, he isn't outraged by his friend, and maybe it's another conversation for another day, but he really just wants to lay down. They bid goodbye and Zayn closes the door.

Harry and Zayn go back to Zayns room. It's half past noon and they've already finished there cups of tea, they're just laying down now. Wholesome as it feels the sun is still shining but they don't mind, the rays splay on Harry and he looks almost younger, innocent.

"I'm so tired." Zayn yawns and Harry can only nods. "I barely remember what happened last night, it feels like a really weird dream." "You'd think I fucked a stripper by the end of the night or a contortionist but just my luck..." Harry says sleepy as hell. "Mmh.No complaining" Zayn nods off to sleep and Harry follows suit.

Four hours later they get up, Harry showers in the guest bathroom and comes back into Zayns room. He's in one of Zayns really comfy sweat pants and he puts his hair in a neat bun. Zayn is already cleaned off, he looks new, and his hair is still wet.

It's only a minute but Sophie knocks on the door, she's fully dressed and cleaned up, Kelly peeks her little head in too. "Harry I need my keys." "I have em?" Harry asks. "Sh'yeah, I put them in your pocket when I had to drag you and Congo No.2 out of the club." Harry tips over, finds his pants on the floor and digs in its pocket, he stumbles on his phone at the bottom of Zayns bed to.

Sophie looks around the room, her first time ever really being in here. Her eyes land on some easels at the corner of the room, and she looks at them. The colors are pretty vibrant and there's more behind one than another.The stokes and blending, the interacite style they all have, one drawing after the other. "You did these?" She's looking at Zayn now and he nods. Kelly laughs, "I told you he was pretty good." "You got a lot of talent." And she means it and Zayn sort of looks shocked and Sophie laughs. "Thanks." Zayn smiles and Harry looks up mid conversation, and this is really nice picture, he thinks. Sophie puts them down and Harry hands her, her keys. "Hell you going." "Out." Sophie smiles like it's a challenge "I'm taking Kelly." "Kelly's being taken" Kelly laughs, and Sophie can't help but join her. Harry and Zayn both shake there heads as they leave the room.

Harry lays down on the bed again, and Zayn is looking at him with dark eyes. Harry can't read them, like they're still stuck on yesterday and what not, maybe somewhere even further.

"What?" Harry asks. It takes a minute for Zayn to settle, but he slides down from the head board, puts his head on a pillow that Harry already has his head on. "I think I want to take a break... from Essie." Harry is surprised, and worried, mostly worried because he's not sure where this is coming from. "You sure mate? I mean... like why?" Zayn shrugs and shakes his head and he can feel it, even if Zayn doesn't want to say anything, the pain of it all, like it's eating him up, but he can't speak right now. Harry kind of just stays there, staring till he can see Zayn lower his eyes. He doesn't have to talk now if he doesn't want to. "...I kissed Ros last night." Harry says to fill the silence. Zayn stares, like he's not sure if he's heard him right. Harry swallows, and it feels like a new weight along with the hangover, "and if I was a good person, I'd say I feel shitty about it, but I don't." "But Liam...he's gonna..." "Kill me, I know." "For fucks sakes.... you really?" Zayn is just stunned in silence. Harry turns on his side, they face each other more. "I'm a bad person." He breathes and it's a bit shaky and he never in a million years thought he'd do something like this, even if he didn't mean it's already done. "I kiss one of my bests' mates girlfriend, and I don't even feel bad about it. And Ros probably hates me, more than me, and I always do stupid ass shit like this, and this isn't even the first time, like.." "Shut up." Zayn pulls at his ear. "You're no a bad person, impulsive, and you think you thought shit through even when you haven't, but.." "I'm a bad person." "I said shut up." Harry does this time. "You just be honest, you're good at that... mostly." Zayn looks at Harry, and in a way it's sort of expected, he's seen Ros and Harry and how they act together but he never thought,it would lead into anything... like this... now. "I don't know why we did, she doesn't even love me, she loves Liam and..." "And Liam loves you." Harry scoffs. They sit in silence, just staring at each other like there solutions are in each other somewhere deep if they look hard enough. "You'll always be there for me? Like this, when I fuck up?" Harry asks, and Zayn almost looks offended, but he sighs. "Haven't I always?" "Yeah, of course." And Harry gets worried for a second, because inevitably time will tick and he'll end up tainting something so special to him he always has. "But sooner or later..." he continues,"you know I'm not good at... I always do something stupid, I don't wanna hurt Liam, this just really sucks.And Ros just came back from not hating me..." Zayn lets him babble out the words, even if some don't make any sense, he listens. After Harry is done rambling they lay there again, in even more silence that feels warm and he doesn't want to move. "Maybe in another time, it'll all work out." Zayn says out loud. The strays of sun are leaving his room. Harry moves his head to look at him, he scoots even closer, rests his head on Zayns shoulder, clasping there hands together, lightly. He speaks into Zayns shoulder, and it vibrates lightly, tickles Zayns collarbone. "I told you..."he sighs, "times just a concept."

*

He tells him. Harry tells Liam what happened. And it's ugly to say the least. It hurts, not when Liam punched Harry in the face, or swore he wanted nothing to do with him ever again. Because Liam started shutting people out. Slamming windows and closing doors, already trying to erase that Harry ever existed in his life, because two weeks later Harry finds a box of his old things laid by his feet when he opens the door. A sweater, some jeans and a snap back he ordered for Liam on his birthday, a bracelet he made him in arts class freshman year thanking him for letting him stay at his house for six months, and letters. They used to write each other stupid letters in high school. No one really knew about it, but they'd pass them to each other third period, or first lunch, each week something different something new.They'd write what they were thinking about mostly, who they thought they were at that time, and even today they don't really know. And this, this was like cutting off an arm or misplacing your fucking heart and Harry didn't want to think about it like that, so he picks up the box and puts it in the corner of the living room, not touching or looking at it.

It's two months and it's not the same at all. They don't hang out as much anymore well Liam just texts Zayn saying he can't make it if Harry is there and Harry is always there at first so Zayn just texts him back with an 'alright, i understand.'

Kelly, Zayn, Adrien and Noel eventually get sick of it though and Zayn makes Liam meet them at a corner bistro and Harry is still being indecisive about what to get and immediately gets quiet when Liam sits down across the table. He doesn't say anything, Harry just looks at Zayn and keeps his mouth shut. They order and it's slow but everyone starts chatting again. Adrien makes sly jokes here and there,Noel talks about his family for a little bit, and Liam mostly directs his conversation to Zayn. Harry is there but isn't, he just ques himself when he needs to, a nod here a chuckle there,he doesn't give much of a word just looks at his empty plate or gives a small smile to Kelly when she nudges him with her elbow and raises her brows. He doesn't get it though he's alright, he's not the one wounded here.

Harry is desperate to leave,just because he can. And he'd very much like to brood over his guilt for kissing his best mates girl and the sharp looks Liam is giving him under rounded corners when no one is really paying attention and Harry would love to say he wasn't but he can feel Liams eyes on him from time to time, and he just wants to go home.

"I think I'm just gonna call it a night." Harry smiles half way drifting himself from the group as they're walking into the parking lot. Kelly looks like she's about to protest but Noel beats her to it. "Why!? I thought we'd all stay over Zayns." "Nah, I gotta make it an early night." He smiles and hugs Noel, the one where he picks him off the ground a bit. It's fast but he says his goodbyes and walks to his car.

When Harry gets to his car he's pulled back by a hand on his bicep and he sort of spins on his heels, his arm recoils and snatches away from the grip but he's facing Zayn all of a sudden and he's somehow annoyed.

"So, you're just gonna be like that?" "For fucks sake Zayn." "You could try a little harder you know?" Harry looks over Zayn, seeing everyone across the lot still huddling over there cars, Liam turns his head at them once but turns to Noel as they get into their car.

He sighs moves a bit closer to Zayn so he doesn't talk so loud, "not like I haven't, you know communication works both ways? And Liam isn't fucking talking to me, hell you expect us to chat about? How me and his girlfriend tongue kissed? Real table etiquette and shit Zay."

Zayn shakes his head, takes out a cig and lights one up drawing out smoke. It's barely nine but the sky looks oddly dark, and the dim lights hitting Zayns face makes it unbearable for Harry to just stand there with Zayn disappointed, or whatever it is, Harry just wants to leave.

"No, but I don't even remember you really apologizing to Liam. Do you know how hard it was for me to get him here just to be in the same place with you?"

"Then why did you invite him in the first place?"

Zayn bites his bottom lip, takes another drag, "Haz, he's our best friend, and you were a fucking dick to kiss Ros, and you were moping around because you fucking missed him and I know you didn't mean to do all of that."

Harry blinks, leans back into his car, "maybe I should of fucked Ros, then you'd know what the fuck I mean and didn't mean to do."

He can see Zayn tense, the way he shuts off, and if it were anybody else they wouldn't have noticed but Harry always has to notice.

"If you like being a cocky ass bastard so much, then I guess you should just get in your car and leave like you always do."

"Zayn."

"Fuck it, you don't give a shit,I get it."

Zayn turns around, doesn't bother looking back, even if he wants to knock some sense into Harry, bring him back from whatever hole he's living in,this was never his problem. He throws the cig into the ground and crushes it with his shoe and starts walking back to his car.

"Zayn."

Harry gets into this place with heavy feet and a shirt that's mostly soaked because it started raining half way before he actually got home. He called Zayn twice while driving and texted him too but got nothing. He doesn't try again till he's out of a hot shower and his inbox is still empty. He falls asleep on the couch watching something usless on Discovery and wakes up at around eleven and still nothing.

Zayn doesn't bother with the texts and lets all of Harry's calls go to voicemail after a while. He hated it when Harry acted like this. And it isn't his fault that Harry can get out of control and take out his passive frustrations on everyone else. Liam barely talks about it, and if he knew Liam he wouldn't of went to dinner with them, if he didn't want to. But he was there and it's been months already since they even seen each other. They were both fucking idiots he thought, Harry being the biggest one at the moment.

Zayn is in his bed when his phone rings, at first he expects Harry but Essies name lights up instead. He could answer the phone or maybe just let it go to voicemail,maybe she needs something or, she has something to say, what the hell could she say after everything? But he loves her, he always has.

"Hey." He answers. "Hey." It's quiet on her end and he can hear her breathing softly and he has no clue what to say right now if he's being honest. "It's been a while huh?" "Yeah," He breathes, "how.. how are you?" "...I'm okay,and you?" "It's all good." "Yeah?" "... no." He's not sure whether to laugh at that or not. "Me too." She confesses, and he can hear the slight break in her voice, and something in him refuses to respond to it,doesn't want to believe he's breaking just a little bit. He could of avoided all of this if he didn't pick up the fucking phone.

Harry was about to go to sleep in his room when he hears someone knocking on his front door. He clumsily turns on the hallway lights and rubs his tired eyes before he swings open the door. Zayn's standing out side his door shirt soaked, he puts up a bottle in front of Harry's face. "Invite me in." Zayn mutters but ends up laughing a little bit at how he sounds, like someone off of True Blood or one of those horrible TV shows he barely pays attention to. Harry feels relieved in a way to see his fucking face he wants to ask if Zayn's alright, but he leans against the door frame reaches out and touches Zayns wrist that's holding the bottle, pulls on him slightly till he's in the doorway and they're face to face. "This is your place too, where's your key?" "Oh." Zayn looks at the floor for a second, his feet trying to balance himself and he's not sure if he's succeeding,"I'm not sure." Harry sighs and pulls the bottle from Zayns grasp, pulls him further into the apartment and shuts the door.

They're in the kitchen and Harry is quiet for a change, just lets Zayn say the words that come out, lets him speak or not. He sat him on one of the kitchen stools and put away the bottle and hands him a bottle of water instead and makes him drink the whole thing even when Zayn tried protesting. "I'll bloody, pour this water through your ears if you don't quite mate." "Fine. Fine, give it."

Zayn talks about Essie, about how she called, what they talked about and how he doesn't really wanna talk about it again. "We're... just over." He says finally, his eyes looking at the floor and it's so fucking quiet. "Love, I'm sorry." Harry slides his hands on either side of Zayns face his thumb rubbing slightly at his scruff. They're so close now and Harry's eyes are soft. Zayn looks up at him, he's not sure if Harry ever called him that before, or maybe he just wasn't paying that much attention, but he's tired, so fucking tired,but it sounded soothing coming out of Harry's lips. "Love..." Zayn chuckles and places his hand gently over Harry's, "That's the problem with me isn't it?" "Hardly."

It's somewhere between two and three in the morning, but they finally move out of the kitchen, Zayn was going to try to knock out on the couch but Harry led him maybe a bit forcefully into his room instead and threw a pair of sweats at Zayn. There was a bathroom in Harry's room he could change in.

Zayn turns the bathroom lights on,doesn't bother really closing the door behind him and slides out of his wet shirt and pants and stands only in his underwear. Harry lays back on his bed, looking up at the ceiling and then the window, it's still storming outside. The only light is the one coming from the bathroom. Harry is always so guilty of watching Zayn and it's sort of dark anyway, maybe Zayn just doesn't notice when he does.

Zayn sighs when he splashes his face with cold water, it sort of sobers him up a bit, his vision isn't as off as before. He dries his face, and puts on the sweats, when Harry walks into the bathroom.

"You feel a bit better?" He asks. "Yeah... a little, I didn't freak you out did I?" Harry smiles, "not as much as you always do" he teases. It gets quiet but the sound of the storm outside and Zayn rubs the back of his neck, and Harry crosses his arms and leans against the counter. Zayn feels Harry's hand on his shoulder a few moments later and he looks at him again through the bathroom mirror, not sure when he got so close but he suddenly wants him closer just an inch closer to feel something... and as if he read his mind, Harry is in front of him, he rests his head on Zayns shoulder feeling him breathing,and Harry's hand ghost down his back and Zayn is so still. He's never really bothered by this, and Zayn isn't really sure why or how since he met this kid, they seem to cling to each other like one is going to lift away any moment now so they hold on, the grip isn't as obviously urgent as before but it's there. They were supposed to be a little happier now, maybe this is just a force of habit.

"I'm sorry... about last night." Harry says finally,"I didn't..." "I know" Zayn turns to Harry a bit, he licks his lips and sighs. "I want to go to bed." Harry only nods, he drops his hand from his back, his knuckles lightly brush over Zayns and he walks out of the bathroom.

They slide into the sheets one after the other with space between them and Harry yawns a bit, he still can't really sleep now,just looks up at the ceiling.

"Remember that place we found, over that hill behind our high school?"Zayn asks. Harry rubs his eyes,"Huh?... what place?" "That place... well it wasn't really a place just someone kinda built a fort in that ditch remember, the one, and it had like a table... and it had all those really weird things and we'd go there after school during freshman year, you fucking fell face first into it Harry." "Oh, you would remember that." He closes his eyes. "What about it?" "You think it's still there?" Zayn turns to his side, brings his pillow closer underneath him. "Might be, but they'd close that place off if they found out about it." "We should go there again, if it's still there." Harry smiles with his eyes closed, he only moves on his side and looks at Zayn who's looking right back. Harry can still smell the slight tint of alcohol, he doesn't care about it he just breathes it in. "Yeah, we should." Harry smiles,"I'd like that."

Harry can barely remember now, it's not freshman year, hasn't been for a while. But those simpler moments he has a harder time remembering. It could have been June or August, he isn't sure, but he remembers mud underneath his shoes, and Zayn scuffing the hem of his shirt going down there, and bringing their own little things like Zayn with his comics, mostly Marvel and other bibs like The Walking Dead, Ghost World, Sin City and comics from Vertigo. Harry had most of his books that he promised himself he'd read all of them when the summer ended but only finished Catch 22 and barely made it to the fifth chapter in some biography on Frida Kahlo, Twilight was one of his selections and he never really finished anything.

He doesn't remember talking about that place with Liam or Adrien at that time, and he's not sure why, there wasn't anything that was 'secretive' about it. Maybe that it was just calling on him and Zayn, but it was nice and quiet mostly. And he remembers it better now as he's looking at Zayn in his bed and they're both half asleep sort of, just drifting and staring at each other. He remembers now, maybe Zayn brought it up for a whole different reason, but he remembers when he went to the ditch somewhere in June or August, and his eyes were red and their was dirt under his fingernails, and Zayn was on a makeshift couch reading Essex County, a comic Harry recommended a while ago that Zayn finally got to reading. And how Harry kneeled in front of him his hand on Zayns knee and "I don't wanna go back." And Zayn didn't really understand what was going on, but Harry's eyes were so red and his cheeks puffy. "If I go back, I'll never see any of you guys again, I'll never see you again." "Harry..." He moved closer and sat on the couch and took Zayn's hand in his. Zayn was so confused at first, his throat felt dry and Harry didn't have tears running down his cheeks, but you could tell they were there before. He'd never seen any one look so serious, which was a contrast to how Harry always was. It felt sad, it felt terribly sad at that moment and Zayn didn't have a clue on how to fix it. But Harry sniffed and said the words out fast, his hands in Zayns, his grip tightening on each word.   "Swear you'll never forget me. Swear. Swear you won't leave me, cos I'll never leave you Zayn... I'll never fucking leave you. I don't wanna go back there, it's hell, and I don't ever want to forget you cos I have a shit memory you know that, so I just wanna stay with you and Liam, and Adrien. I don't belong anywhere else." He's breathing but it feels like he's choking on the words and he holds back his tears so well, "my life is here, my life is here with you, so just swear, just swear to me you'll never leave."

"I swear, Harry I swear." Zayns voice came out shaky unintentionally.He says it and he's not sure if he's right to promise this, but he does even if he was scared all of a sudden. The words had rushed out but he meant them none the less.

He remembers that day so well, how Harry looked scared out of his mind, even when he tried to hide it. He remembers his scruffy hair and the way he leaned on him and never let go of his hand, Zayn never let go. Even when embracing him to calm down and they stared at each other for the longest time, so close as they are now on this bed. He remembers it happening quickly like when someone tells you to look at the sky but you miss whatever it was they were pointing out. He remembers Harry kissing him, fast and bit rough at first, shaky and lost. His lips were a bit dry and Zayn didn't really kiss him back, and when Harry got the hint he moved away but Zayn somehow in him couldn't have that so he moved closer and leaned in again. They were inexperienced and so young, but he remembers it, how their noses touched and the way Harry looked at him with each little kiss, as if asking to do it again and again. Zayn let him, till they were leaning back against the couch, kissing each other idly and there skinny bodies had fit together.

They both remember that day so well. Harry reaches out in the dark and feels the scruff on Zayns cheek on the palm of his hand, he can see and feel him smiling, Harry leans and kisses Zayns cheek. "We can go tomorrow, good night." Zayn feels warm all of a sudden like he did back then in June or August on that hot day in the middle of the summer, when they were holding on to each other, laying on that couch. Zayn thinks for a moment how they've never really talked about that kiss, not that he wanted to, or didn't want to or were either of them embarrassed about it he doesn't really know. "Night."

They wake up earlier than expected. And by the afternoon they're driving down to their old high school and stop right at the back of the parking lot. They walk the path that leads into the hill of the park and walk off it for about ten minutes heading east.

"You sure you know where it's at?" Harry asks, walking right behind Zayn. "Yeah, we walked here like a million times, I know where we're going. " Zayn says and moves further down the hill. Harry only laughs, but just then they come across the old ditch, and to their disappointment it's fenced in now.

"Too many looters... they boxed the place in." Harry curls his fingers against the metal fence, trying to peak into whatever is left of it. They still see the old table and the couch that was there isn't anymore, new and old chairs are sitting in the dirt, the old graffiti covered up by new ones. "You think there's anything to save? We could hop the fence." "Why would we do that? Theirs a big sign that says no trespassing." "Never stopped you before." Harry laughs, "besides I think I lost that key chain you gave me in here." "I gave you a key chain?" "Yeah the one where it had my name and the meaning and all that rubbish, said it was the last one at the shop." Harry starts bracing himself up and climbs the fence, keying his foot in the hole to steady himself and he's already high enough when Zayn yells at him to get down. "Harry seriously, we don't need to actually go inside, do you know how many bad horror movies start out with a white boy climbing over a fence that says not to?" Harry only climbs further till he pulls himself to the other side of the fence, climbing down and jumps into the dirt and faces Zayn on the other side of the fence, like it didn't take much effort. "Pussy." Harry teases through the wire. "I'm not saving your ass if theirs an ax murderer in there waiting." "You would, you're just being chicken shit." "I'll beat your ass." Harry laughs mockingly as he turns around and kicks through the a pile of old wood and debris. "Don't think I won't..." Harry turns to him, grinning "might as well..." Zayn feels his lips curving into a stupid smile despite himself, he shakes his head and puts his phone in his back pocket and jumps the fucking fence.

"We gotta make it quick" Zayn says as he's rummaging through some things he has no idea if it's garbage or just things people left behind not really sure if he's looking for anything either, place is a pile of nothing now. Solely what makes the 'floor' is breaking and mostly dirt clings to there shoes the trees have over grown they cover most of everything there. He walks over to what used to be a wall, nailed were ply boards against the earth. People left messages, names, numbers, stupid sayings and sometimes drawings. At the corner of it he finds the dragon. Something he drew with a silver sharpie when he was bored. He chuckles at the old technique cuz he's much better at drawing now,then he was back then but it's till good, it's scales, it's claws had the right shading and angle. The coloring of it faded a little but next to it was his handwriting in Arabic, small but still visible, ياسر (Yasir). His fingers move over the words, right to left, tracing over the alif and lastly the ra at the end. Harry is right behind him at first he was going to show him something he had found, but he stuffs it in his back pocket instead and looks at Zayn with his back turned still looking over the wall. He doesn't ruin the moment just stands there quietly till Zayn comes back.

Zayn turns to Harry and right when he's about to say something... "HEY!" They hear up above from the other side of the hill, Harry spots one of the park officers walking down fast. "Fuck," He breathes, Harry grabs Zayn by the wrist and they start climbing the fence. Zayn makes it down faster than him, but waits a beat till Harry is down too. "Run! Run!" Harry chuckles, out of habit, and they dash off the opposite way as the officer tries to catch up. They run through the woods of the park, blurs of green passing by them till they find there original path, they don't slow down, they move as fast as their feet can carry them, and even if they out run the officer the adrenaline is high. When they spot the car still parked near the school Zayn runs to the driver side of it and Harry immediately tosses his car keys at him, Zayn unlocks the car, they both get in and speed away as fast as they can.

Zayn is about two miles out of North Shore, they've been laughing and talking exceedingly fast but he had to admit it was fun. "I'm not doing that shit again." "Yeah we fucking are." Harry laughs, "Did you even find that stupid key chain?" Zayn muses, "you get me into the most stupidest shit West." "You love it." Harry grins, like he's proud of himself for todays little adventure. Zayn looks over at him and shakes his head as they stop at a red light. "And..." Harry begins, "I lied about the key chain, I just wanted you to go with me." He chuckles. Zayn drives at the green light but manages to hit Harry right in the chest for that one. "Ow!" "You deserve it asshole." Harry only laughs harder and Zayn pinches his side.

They get at Harry's apartment and before Zayn gets out of the car Harry stops him. "Hey I found something back over there at the ditch," He reaches into his back pocket, "well two things actually." He has what seems like two papers in his hand, one small and black the other bigger and off white from the aging of the paper.

He unfolds the smaller one first, and Zayn see's it's actually isn't just paper but what looks like a beaten up comic book. "Marvels X-Men, I think this is one of those exclusive versions you love so much I don't know." Zayn takes the comic from his hands,it's not too bad, the pages are worn but still legible. He smiles a bit, "You knew you'd find this there didn't you?" Harry was about to speak on the other paper in his hand, but he looks up and smiles off guarded, "you said you lost it, last time I saw you reading it was there."

Harry looks at Zayn, "I was just gonna get you a new one," he continues, "but I saw it, thought it do some good if it actually went back to its owner." Zayn holds on to the comic tight, not sure what to say.

"But hey, I saw this..." Harry unfolds the second paper it feels rough against his hands, but when he splays it out on the dashboard, "it's a map." Harry smiles, "Well half of a map."

It looked like it was ripped out of a geography book or atlas but it had all the continents, but half of the West side North America was gone. It had pen marks and high lighting on most world known cities, New York, Tokyo, London, Paris, Athens it went on. Others were circled in red like Alexandria, Tel Aviv, Ibiza, Shang hai, Brussels, Melbourne, El Augustino and others. "It belonged to someone else, here," Harry points to the corner of the map and it read 'Property of R.M.' Zayn slides out of his seat belt and looks at the map. He see's the small print of cities over there countries, places he hasn't even really heard of before, his fingers ghost to east of Asia, mostly India over Pakistan and Kirghistan, down to east of Africa, Eritrea  Sudan, Tanzania, Zambia. He started again more to the west of it, Ghana, Liberia, he wondered how Côte d’Ivoire looked like in person for a second. His fingers touch the small dots on the map, some places he could have missed if they weren't circled. It must be nice he thought, seeing different people, looking at different lands, how it would feel to be lost for a moment in a place he hadn't a clue about. It's scary, but thrilling at the same time being somewhere that wasn't here.

"You found this down there?" He asks "Yeah, I dunno, it's kinda interesting ye? Think maybe this person went to all these places?" "Maybe... probably," Zayn looks at Harry for a moment, "you've been to some of these places right?" Harry shakes his head, "Hell no mate, not like this. Maybe here and there but, my passport isn't that full yet."

For a second it's quiet and Zayn is still looking over the map, reading the side notes and arrows across the map, this person made.

"We could go." Harry says when Zayn isn't looking. "What?" Zayn looks at him "All these places? That take years." "We could pick and choose." Harry slides his hands underneath his thighs, a nervous habit when he isn't sure how things will go. "Besides, we can use a little vacation." "So just leave like that?" Zayn shakes his head "I'm not... I don't know. You would do that? Go to all these places?" "With you, of course." Harry looks like he's trying to debate whether or not this could be a good idea. He knows he'll worry about Kelly and everyone else but, this could be fun maybe just something that won't have them sulking and drift because of everything thats happened. They forget about it all for a second, replace it all with mountains, and landmarks and people speaking something he won't really understand. "When would you wanna go?" Zayn asks. "Now. Tomorrow,if you want... whenever " Harry smiles, he's always so quick to have everything happening here and now.

Zayn laughs, nervously kind of because honestly going on a trip does sound alluring, it does sound like something he's always wanted to do and it's fucking terrifying and Harry is so willing he can see it in his green eyes and the way he purses his lips. An adventure, an escape, he won't have to keep wondering how all these places he's wondered about, he could be with his best friend as they figure out whatever it is they're seeking after.

After a moment, Zayn smiles warmly, "Yeah, we can go. But... how far do you wanna go?"

Harry stares, trying to contain something in him, he smiles right back and shrugs, "As far as you wanna go."

They tell Kelly and Sophie mainly how they'll just be gone for however long, they make up a date and everything mostly so they don't find it too odd. Both swear to check in every now and then on the both of them. Sophie is just happy Kelly and her have more time to hang out without those trolls bothering them.

"Stay safe." Kelly hugs Zayn tight. "You stay safe, Ramziya, really I mean it." He looks down at her and she's smiling. "I will, chill man." She chimes "I'll stay good, it's you i'm worried about concurring the world and all." She pulls on the end his jacket a little bit. The taxi outside honks, waiting for Zayn. "I won't concur all of it, I'll be back before you know it." They're quiet for a moment. "Habiti." Zayn smiles. "Habibi." Kelly smiles back. He steps back for a minute and picks up his duffle bag, but Kelly hugs him again, rushing the air out of his lungs and he hugs her just as tight. "Just have the time of your life okay?" Kelly says in his ear, she kisses his cheek, "you deserve it."

Zayn gets into the taxi, Kelly waves when it starts driving away, Zayn watches as the wind picks up her curls and he waves back from the back of the cab.

He walks into the airport, Harry had texted him the night before telling him they'd have a separate terminal all he needed was to show his ID and TA would lead him to a gate.

He finds Harry with his glasses on and a light jacket he has books out all highlighted and sprayed out in the waiting area, the map in his hands.

"Hey" He smiles. "Hey." "You ready?" Harry asks, closes the books and Zayn takes the seat next to him. "I think so, what were you reading?" "Just some things, to pass the time. I was looking at the map again, and I think it's a puzzle." "Seriously?" "Yeah R.M. who ever the fuck they are, I'm just hoping they aren't a fucking psycho path" he chuckles "but... they write these little things, kinda have to pay attention to it, kinda like clues." Zayn looks over the map and he's right, but the words are bits and pieces 'find esmerelda', 'wish away something special.' It's all gibberish really but it's still interesting to find out what it all means. "It's cool and all, but where do we even start Haz?" Harry just shrugs and moves back his glasses. The only thing I saw significant kinda is this, he points to the Mediterian Sea, "it's the only sea circled. But, I found something else." Harry takes the map into his hands and turns it over on its back, he points to the very middle, "they left us as a bloody quote." Zayns amused he looks over and it read,

<i>'For what it’s worth,it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again' </i>

below it was something writing in red ink it said, <i>'the person(s) who are looking into this map, know you're looking into a glimpse of what was my world, but it isn't anymore. This map is yours now, what you do with it is up to you. Wherever you go leave nothing but memories, honestly that'll be only thing left when it's all done. Anyhow good luck, good love! R.M. </i>

Zayn and Harry finally face each other huddled close with warm eyes, and something that tastes like solace in there mouths.

"You want to go to Malta?" Zayn asks.

It's eight thousand and forty-four miles from Hawaii to Malta, the hours are despicable even if you are on a private jet, and airplane food is airplane food, with everything you need in a jet plane a thousand or so latitudes up into the air.They both zone in and out after a few hours of talking and laughing and Zayn knocks out most of the flight anyway so Harry just takes pictures outside there window and tries something to occupy his time before he's asleep.

When they finally land, the flight attendant announces there arrival. "Hey" Harry nudges Zayn a bit, and Zayn doesn't stir "I'm leaving this fucking plane and jumping into the first beach I find", Harry places his forehead on Zayns shoulder and he groans, "with or without you, wake up, we're here." "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" Zayn pushes him away, his limbs tired and he's groggy. "Stop, okay okay Harry." He stretches and his arms out and Harry is already up smiling he peaks through one of the windows, its bright and sunny as much as he can tell.   Zayns barely opening his eyes, just sits in his seat for a minute and looks around. It takes a while but he can feel it, the slight change, even if he hasn't left the plane yet. It settles in him just a little bit. "We're here mate." Harry says suddenly, he has his duffle bag in one hand and Zayns in the other but he puts them down on the seat. Zayn smiles, "kinda feels weird." He says without really thinking it. "Of course it does, I bet it'd feel better if we get off this plane and see what's out there," he pauses, "something wrong?" "No, no, just I don't know... it feels different but cool different." Zayn smiles, Harry can't help but to do the same either as relief passes him just a little bit. He wasn't concerned that Zayn would want to back now, even if he did, he just wanted to know what was on his mind, with what they were doing, with this map, this adventure of sorts, it would be really hard to know what to expect since everything had been so sudden.

"Mr. West." one of the flight attendants comes up, with a small smile on her face she looks at Zayn then at Harry, "sorry to interrupt but,there's a car outside waiting for you, out of the terminal, it'll take you to wherever you'll need to go." She hands something to him that Zayn doesn't see and smiles at the both of them, "I hope you two enjoy your stay and welcome to Malta." She turns around and goes back into the back of the plane.

Harry thanks her, and slides his hand in his pocket and looks at Zayn again. "Lets go." Zayn smiles warmly "Alright."

When they get to the car Zayn is a bit confused, and Harry well... "What the bloody fuck." "Harry." "No. What. The. Fuck." "It's not that bad." Zayn scratches his head, kicks the wheel of the 'car' and it's a bit soft. "Not that bad? Are you mental? This is a fucking station wagon, one from the bloody 1800's mate!" "They didn't have- nevermind, Harry just go inside and ask them about it." As they turn an airport attendee approaches them, and the look on Harry's face isn't very polite or approachable, and he's speaking Maltese at Zayn with an apologetic look on his face and they end up just both looking confused cuz it sounds a bit like Arabic but it isn't. "I don't...no, do you speak English?" Zayn gives him a small smile. "Oh, I am sorry. But. Mr. West... eh the car company apologizes for there mistake on your reservation, there must have been a mix up, but since we are so busy and other cars cannot be switched since we do not have any more cars in the lot, we cannot fix this dilemma till tomorrow morning. We apologize for any inconveniences. If you want eh... we can call another company, free of charge." Harry unfolds his arm, and stays quite, Zayn looks back at him a bit confused. A small nod from Harry to tell him to go on and Zayn's lost as to why he isn't correcting the poor guy. "Mr. West?" He says. "Uh yeah...." Zayn turns back at him, his hands sliding into his pockets and he's wondering why he just spoke. "It's fine actually, but it isn't a big deal, thanks for letting us know." He turns to Harry and motions his eyes towards the guy, for Harry to do something. Harry only walks to the attendee and hands him a couple euros, he kept in his wallet "Grazzi, grazzi." He smiles, nods at Zayn and Harry once, hands Zayn the keys and walks away.

Harry is laughing, the one where his dimples show and his cheeks are so tight, it's a bit unnecessary but he found it too amusing not to. "Thanks for letting us know..." Harry mimics Zayns voice. "What the hell was I supposed to say?" Zayn tosses the keys to Harry, "you weren't saying shit, and he looked terrified." Harry only sighs looking at the thing. It was a Volvo, one with a rusted red color, like they kept recoloring it over and over, but the paint chipped away through each agonizing year or ten. "I reserved an Audi, even a fucking Hyundai would have sufficed." "It's a car, it'll get us there right?" "Yeah.. I guess" they both put there bags in the trunk and get into the car. "Where exactly is 'there'?" Zayn asks, he has to adjust that the passenger sits on the left side of the car on this side of the pond. Harry shrugs, "We're in the capital",he takes out the map from his inner pocket of his jacket, "R.M circled Valletta, so we can find a hotel or something there." It takes more than an actual minute for the thing to start, Harry had to hit the ignition and bang on the steering wheel till it started up. "And here we go..."

The thing about Valletta is that it looks like a myth. Something out of dungeons and dragons or some untold land, and Zayn practically has his face out of the car window feeling the cool breeze. It smells heavy of saffron and something he can't place, but the bustling people and the crowded small roads, make him feel both claustrophobic and freed. Every building seems old and rustic, the city is tanned and it's still pretty early in the day and his lips can't help but smile how different this all is. It's nothing like Hawaii it's smaller and the architecture is hundreds of years old, and he's not sure if he can seep this all in so he takes out his phone and snaps pictures whenever they get to a fork. He glances at Harry after a while, and his eyes are both on the road and on his phone looking something up. Harry has always been a hell of a driver, even back home he constantly drove faster than he should have, and after countless pleading to not have him kill everyone in his backseat, he got a bit better, but his knuckles would whiten slightly each time he had to actually slow down at a yellow light, Zayn would notice and rub Harry's shoulder. Here,he drove a bit more freely like he was already familiar with the streets. "No texting and driving." Zayn chimes, he snaps a picture of a barque style building, it arches, and the ocean is it's background, the lighting is perfect.He takes one of Harry when he n't looking. "I'm trying to find us a hotel, but everything says it's fucking booked." Someone honks behind them. So much for an impromptu adventure. Harry drives again, Zayn casually takes the phone from his hand and goes through all the trip and hotel apps, goes on google and bing finding nothing. After a moment Harry seem's to be driving aimlessly really. "Where we going?" "I dunno." He mumbles a bit aggravated, he makes a sharp turn in a corner alleyway when someone on a bike passes them fast and they find themselves jammed in traffic. "Great." They're stuck in a bend, Harry sighs loudly and Zayn looks at him once then out the car window again. Zayn doesn't say anything at first just watches the scenery, a black BMW in front of them, the cobble walls of the old buildings around them, someone selling produce in big carts and thick woven bags full of spices. There were people walking and biking around them, talking loudly, honking from a distance. Everything was so close, if he reached his hand far enough from the car window he could swipe an apple from the stand or touch someones wrist, but he doesn't. He looks at Harry, who's frustrated because he keeps lightly tugging at the end of his hair, one hand on the steering wheel and looking straight ahead, like as if he concentrated enough he could move everything out of his way. "We can park and look around." Zayn says, "It's the middle of April we can find something,isn't this place like a tourist destination or something? I'm doubting every fucking hotel here is booked." "Yeah,we can.... I don't have a better idea so..." Harry breathed, the cars start moving again. "We can start by the water front there should be something there."

It took an hour to get to the water front or anywhere near it, each block they passed there seemed to be more and more people coming around, walking up and down the sidewalks, bikes and buses and trolley's. Harry parked the old car in the only space he could find on top of a hill, jammed into other cars.It was staring to get hot, so he cut off the engine and looked at Zayn, who was too busy looking around, in his duffle. "Im sorry." He says and Zayn looks up at him a bit confused. "For what?" Zayn smiles a bit, he finds his wallet he was looking for and puts it in the pocket of his jeans. "I didn't want to fuckin drag you around, we're supposed to be relaxing.I shoulda planned this better at least." "We have no plan remember? We're just going along with what we want and that map. We'll find something, stop worrying." "You not tired?" "I will be once we find a room, and a bed i can knock the fuck out in."

Harry smiles, and they both get out of the car,he walks to the other side where Zayn is standing, Zayn puts an arm over Harry's shoulder and they start walking down the hill.

The walk down was brisk, and the sun felt nice on Zayns skin, they were surrounded by people walking in the same direction as they were. The real tourists, with the Canon cameras and the sun hats, the shorts the sandals, snapping pictures here and there emerged and flooded the place. It was nothing like the boardwalk back home in Hawaii, not really sure he could compare the waterfront to anything really. Looking up he see's what this place was really made of. The wind wasn't particularly strong but a gust of pink and lavender petals flew past them in the air, they couldn't help but look up. They noticed everything was practically stacked together, the buildings the hills upon hills the buzzing of the cars, he looked ahead before heading down a corner, people were hanging flags and flowers up on the lines. Orchids flung from one building to the other connecting and hanging down, the strand of petals floating in the air-right above them, some not picking much wind at all and others falling to the ground. Zayn felt the light press of Harry's hand on his wrist and he turned to him "This way, we have way more to see." He smiles.

They find the walkway easy, most of the signs are translated in English anyway. At first Harry stops, the ocean against them, and Zayn leans on the stone hedge. "Stand there, I gotta take a picture of you." Harry says, as he picks at his phone from his pocket. Zayn isn't really coy, he just laughs, "you want me to model for you? make it a postcard we can send." He smiles. "That'd be great, oh yeah just give me Hasselhoff. Put your arms behind your head and flex." "Im not fucking doing that! "Then pose, Tyrese Beckford!"

It didn't take them long at all to find a bistro down the walkway it was full of stores and places to eat near the water. Harry ordered breakfast since it was still barely ten in the morning. "You want to call?" "Huh?" Zayn puts down his mug of coffee "Yeah.. yeah I do." Harry takes out his phone and calls Kelly, he hears her moments later with a patchy "hello" and hands the phone to Zayn. "Ziya..." He smiles wide to hearing her voice, they talk for a while, she asks how they're both doing, where the hell they are, what it looks like there, if he's going to send postcards, she misses him and it's only been technically a day that they've been apart and Zayn smiles brightly with an, "I miss you already." Harry talks to Kelly too, she makes him laugh about how they better not get kidnapped, or she'd have to use her certain set of skills, and her imitation of Liam Nelson in Taken is priceless. "...and how is..." "Sophie's good, she came by earlier in the morning, we're thinking about going in our own adventure." "You barely know how to get to Waikiki Beach." Harry teases, he smiles at Zayn who's listening to the whole thing as he finishes his breakfast. "You ass! You'll see we're gonna go to Thailand or something, I'mma take Noel too." Harry laughs, "good luck on that, want me to have Zayn worried now or later?" Zayn quirks a brow. They  both laugh through the phone. "Hey Harry.." "Yeah, Kellz?" "Bring me something good and....I miss you." "I miss you too, tell Sophie I'll call soon. I'll call everyone soon too, I know it's late over there so we'll try tomorrow." "Okay I will. And one more thing..." "Hmm?" Harry turns a bit to look at the people walking along, a group of girls pass by and giggle, he just turns to look at an amused Zayn. "Take care of him." "Always."

They end up walking around for another hour, they went into Hampton, Osborne, Castille, all the other four/five star hotels because Harry refuses to stay somewhere with no functional internal heating and an ice machine, wifi was already aparent. All of them are booked and reserved and Harry is too tired to argue. Zayn only sorta rolls his eyes but he can't complain even if he is tired but the walk through the city is heavenly.

The place was filled with music too, performers with there violins and guitars, a hang drum and a straw hat that people leave money in. Zayn stops in front of an old building one with tattered blue curtains, like sapphire; flapping in the air of the doorway. Harry is only steps away before he steps back joining Zayn. They look at the old man playing his guitar. He's singing in Maltese and his fingers strum the steel strings and move up and down the frets flawlessly. Zayn is pulled by the music the old man singing softly as he sits in the doorway his grey curly hair in a messy bun. there's something about it, the mellowness of it, gentle,but how he sounds... strong. Harry stands right next to Zayn awed by the music only one man is producing. When he turns to see Zayn face he see's the captivation, something he's seen in him so many times before. Zayn looks at Harry who gives him a warm smile. When the song ends, Harry takes some euros out of his pocket and reaches down and tries putting it in the straw hat. "That was beautiful," Harry smiles. The man stops him. "No," he looks up at Harry with a toothy grin, "no no, just memories." Harry is a bit confused, the skin between his brows pinching. "I'm sorry, memories?" Harry crouches down to the mans level, there eyes meeting,wanting to understand. The man looks a bit behind them as Zayn walks over, and smiles again. "Memories," he says again. "You write memories and put it in the straw hat, that's all I want." He moves a notepad and pens behind him he tears out a piece of paper and hands them to Harry. "Write your favorite memory anything you want really, then pick a piece of paper in the hat before you drop yours in, read it out loud and that's it." Harry looks back at Zayn who bends on one knee next to him. "Okay," Harry hands him a pen and tears the paper straight in half giving him the other. "But what's it for?" Zayn asks. The man smiles again, stringing quietly on his guitar, "my boy, memories mean so much more than money, you write it down, you let it go, you make new ones, you do your best, whether big or small." He looks at the both of them now, "write it down, whatever is in your heart." They both smile a bit, slightly in confusion because no ones really asked them before.

Harry scratches his head with the tip of the pen, Zayn bites his bottom lip and scribbles something down. Harry turns his head to look at what Zayn's writing, maybe something about freshman year or a memory about his parents. "Nah, don't." Zayn teases and moves his body a bit so Harry won't see, "I'm not letting you see this one." "And why not?" "Cuz" "That's not an answer." Harry smiles Zayn only gestures his hand, to shoo him away. When they're both done writing, they both reach into the hat and pick up a random piece of paper before replacing it with there folded ones. "What do you do with them?" Harry asks, and the man starts strumming again on his guitar, he smiles, "Read the ones in your hands first." Harry and Zayn unfold the small pieces of paper. Zayn reads his aloud, "I remember Emma on her wedding day, she loved Mark and there was nothing I could do," he raises his eyebrows a bit when he pauses, "I was just her maid of honor after all." "Huh." Harry licks his lips and looks down at the small piece of pink paper, he chuckles low, only because it's written in German and he can barely remember his ninth year in school where he passed by the skin of his teeth. So he squints his eyes and tries to remember. "It's in fucking German..." "You don't speak German." Zayn laughs. Harry sighs, "not well at all." He clears his throat anyhow. "Uh, 'iche kussete ein fremder', I kissed a friend? No.... I kissed a stranger." Done that more than once, Harry thinks and looks at Zayn half amused.

Harry thanks the man, which he finds it could have been for no reason at all, but he's polite and they both enjoyed his singing and the music, it was beautiful. The old man just smiles, his callused fingers moving along his grey beard, "people leave me something invaluable, I don't need to be thanked." He sighs, "but thank you, may you both enjoy it here." He waves them good bye, Zayn and Harry turn around and walk back to the pathway, before he stops, Zayn walks over to him again.

"You never said what you did with them.... the pieces of paper, do you read them?" "Sometimes, other times I throw them in the ocean." "Why?" "I forget too easily" Zayns eyes are confused, Harry takes a step back into their direction again, they really do need to get going. Zayn was about to ask him something again in the mere silence besides the people walking by and the cool breeze in the air, but the man looks up at him, his toothy smile bright.

"You write memories and put it in the straw hat, that's all I want." He strums his guitar again." Write your favorite memory anything you want really, then pick a piece of paper in the hat before you drop yours in, read it out loud and that's it."

Zayn feels Harry's hand on his shoulder, he turns to look at the man, then back at Harry. "Lets go mate."

They walk back down the waterfront, passing other entertainers, a group of cyclists pass them by, old women carrying flowers and groceries, children singing songs they don't know. Everything is mere inches away from each other but seems so far apart

"That was sort of creepy." Harry looks at Zayn who gives him a small smile. Zayn isn't really sure what to think of it, he nods though, because Harry's right it was a bit dismaying, but he couldn't help but feel a bit sad for the man. "I think he was trying to look for something." Harry smiles, "what? What's he looking for?" He puts an arm around Zayns shoulder, smiling as he does. Harry mimics the mans voice "other peoples memories?" His eyes grow and he wiggles his fingers in the air, as they walk. Zayn chuckles slightly, putting a hand against Harry's back. "No, I think... his own." And there it is, Harry thinks for a second because he probably wouldn't have thought of that himself. Zayn always says things that make him think,things like that, and he could be right. To him, the mans lost it a bit, no downplay there, but he could be right. He reads other peoples memories to find his own. But he's always thought, what's lost is lost no use in trying to find it again, you might not like what you find again at all. He looks at Zayn straight in his beautiful brown eyes. "Perhaps." He says.

It's about noon and they've still been walking, they sort of made a silent agreement to just explore a bit, even if their feet are getting tired, and Harry's called every god damn decent hotel in Valletta, and nothing. They walk past the harbor and the rows and rows of people.

Harry's looking down at his phone walking next to Zayn, trying to figure out if they can even stay in Valletta, maybe Mdina or Zabbar, Birkikirkara since it was the closest town around. Zayn has his phone out, taking pictures  of the 16th century architecture since they got here but he sort of stops him in his tracks, he smiles, seeing the amount of people crowded in one place, hearing bells ringing and smelling something faintly sweet in the air.

Harry looks up because Zayns' stopped walking, he looks at him. "We can if you want." Zayn smiles, "it wouldn't be a cliche would it? Or something..." Harry laughs, "not at all. Maybe you'll start to levitate." Zayn laughs, "bismillahi..... actually you know what that would be pretty sick."

St. Johns Co-Cathedral they see the small brochures in peoples hand, orange and green. People are swarmed up in the entrance.A rustic building that's probably one of the biggest Zayns ever seen. The big doors are wide and everyone seems to be trying to push through. The guiders are taking people in groups of ten or fifteen, and Harry and Zayn still haven't even stepped in yet. The sun is still shining bright on them. Harry kicks his feet on the stairway, patience was never really his virtue. Zayn leans on the railing, doing nothing in particular. Up ahead other people are waiting too, when they hear a loud chatter of noise, not yelling but something seems to be up. Zayn moves closer to Harry, as they both look up and see someone move down the stairs opposite of everyone else. "If Jesus fuckin died for this, I'd rather he kept his mouth shut and moon walked his ass somewhere else then!" A short semi balding man in a thick suit was following her, his hands on top of his head, speaking in Maltese to the girl in front of him, that's making everyone get out of her way.

For a second Zayn thinks this could be some type of warning.

They keep bickering for a bit till she turns around, to the people in front of her, yelling something in Maltese then in English. "If you Americans, and what nots love traveling so damn much, since you've conquered most of the fucking planet, maybe you shouldn't give your money to this place just so it can be destroyed!"

"Please! Stop!" The short guy seems like he's ten seconds away from a heart attack. "You are causing an outburst! Please!" They continue to rant and bicker in Maltese everyone staring at the spectacle till security comes out, she takes her sweet time moving down the stairs past Harry and Zayn and out of sight.

Everything seems to go back to normal, the front line of people move into the church but Zayn and Harry are still stuck outside. "We could go to Mdina or the other cities, we don't have to stick around here today, I know you're tired." Harry looks at Zayn, and he feels awful, jet lagged and tired, he thought it wasn't fair. "Haz, it's cool, I actually want to go in there," he looks at the brochure he picked up on one of the stands, "they have artwork by Caravaggio, and all this other interesting stuff."

If Zayn could be honest, he was too excited to be really that tired, sure his feet hurt and his back was beginning to ache with all the standing in the hot sun, but this was a bit bigger than that.

"We can come back tomorrow?" Harry offers one last time "Nah, seriously we're already here." Zayn stands a bit straighter and cocks a smile to Harry, when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Zayn turns around, surprised a bit and it's the girl from earlier before.

She stares at him, eyes blank with a solemn expression on her face. "Can we help you?" Harry asks with a small smile. She doesn't even bother looking at Harry, Zayn only waits a beat before he talks, "You're the one that made quite a scene." "And what were you going to do about it?" Harry takes a step forward, looking at the two, his head tilted to the side he opens his mouth but she cuts him off.

"If you guys want to get in, I can help." She says, she stands there her arms still folded, riddled with tattoos, Zayn spots half of a portrait of Mary of Nazareth on her forearm. "We're almost there, thanks for your help anyway." Harry sighs, like he's far away, somehow already bored with this mysterious girl. Zayn doesn't say anything just leans against the railing. She shrugs, "you won't see any Caravaggio with the tourists, all the real art work is in the basement, but suit yourself with all the boring knight stories." She turns her back to them going down the stairs. "Wait what's your name?" Harry calls to her. "Myriam" she says turning around, already eight steps below. More people move past her, crowding the bustling line. Harry looks at Zayn who only looks up at him, with a perplexed expression. "If she can get us to the basement, we could probably see all those paintings, maybe even more?" Harry says quickly. Zayn moves up to Harry's ear, "it's okay we don't have to , I...I don't mind waiting besides, we don't know her." Harry tilts his head, a small smile on his lips as Zayns breath touches his cheek, "we don't know anyone." It's only a second but Zayn feels the familiar press of Harry's hand wrapped around his wrist, as he leads him down the stairs, stead fast moving past strangers and tourists. Zayn only looks at Myriam at the end of the stairs, holding a hand to shield herself from the sun. "Good choice." Myriam smiles, looking them up and down. "First off why are you doing this?" Harry tilts his head up a bit, folding his arms against his chest, Zayn is too tired to chuckle at how slightly ridiculous he looks when he does that. "I own this place, I can do what I want." She says it simply and smiles again, like it's almost painful, "my family does anyway, that guy you saw me arguing with, head bishop and all that stuff, it's annoying how the government wants to acknowledge the people who funnel dirty money into this place of 'God' instead of the family who conserved it since the day it was built, and through all the wars." "You could be just lying, I tell you- we don't have our wallets on us, if we turn that corner with you and you have two hooligans that want to mug us. Not very godly of you and all is it?" Harry squares his eyes on her. Myriam pulls something out of her back pocket, "I also have the keys, you British idiot." She starts walking towards the opposite direction of people, Zayn looks up hearing the church bells ring again. Harry murmurs something low, looks at Zayn who only shrugs, "nothing to lose right?" And starts walking to catch up with Myriam.

They walk and walk and walk, all the way down to the back of the cathedral, guards at each gate post, but it seems they haven't even gotten to where they need to be, they pass more people, a canopy and green vines growing on the side of the cobble stone walls. Myriam opens a big wooden door with brass handles, which leads them to a small set of stairs and up to a more modern looking one, she slides a card on the small keypad and punches in a code, the door beeps and slides open. "After you boys."

Harry steps in first almost trips on the threshold, Zayn moves closer, but Harry is already straightening himself up, he's clumsy and uncoordinated as always,Zayn puts down his hand, that he had left in the air.

This wasn't a basement this was a shrine. "Wow." Zayn muttered, or it sounded like a 'wow' under his breathe, soft and subtle. He looked around the 'basement' as Myriam had put it. It was huge and it had a fancy ceiling, with beautiful LED lights that were off, so natural sunlight was beaming down on the artwork. The sunlight came from slits in the ceiling like pillars that hit the ground. All of the artwork were mostly framed and mounted against a wall, or glass, the place was articulate. Modernly designed holding ancient paintings,tapestries, ones people never seen before-ones both Zayna and Harry knew people would never see.

"Obviously no taking pictures." Myriam stepped in, she walked across the room, passing Zayn and Harry who had there feet stuck on the first painting they saw, not sure of who it was by, but it was beautiful.

"Obviously..." Harry says, his eyes stuck on a rare painting by Meresi, "I'm pretty sure this is a federal crime in this country innit? I mean.. " He's taken a back a little, he only feels the slight brush of Zayn's shoulder against his, and Harry's attention zero's in on Zayn, taken in by his surroundings as usual today. Harry notices Zayns eyes fixed on something he probably can't even see on the painting. Zayns hands folded neatly against his back observing as he always does.

"Not a crime if you have the keys." Myriam is standing next to Harry now, he almost jumps only because he didn't notice her walking towards them again. She's small in height and he can see the black roots coming from her auburn hair, her black shirt intricately having placed holes in them against her collar. 'IT SUCKS TO SUCK.' is written on her wrist, in a shaky small penmanship, and if he's gathered anything about anything about this girl in the past fifteen minutes, it was probably meant to be that way.

"So... what? you just pick and choose people to come see this down here with you?" Zayn says with the corner of his lips, his eyes aren't placed on anything that isn't centuries old. "Not that I'm complaining or anything." He looks back to Myriam and back to the other pictures, he moves his feet, careful not to stand too close, yet he is, a good ten inches apart. He doesn't even think the most powerful people in the worlds' been this close or even twenty-five feet away to anything like this.

"No" Myriam smiles she walks further back, her frame stopping under one of the slits in the ceiling, the light beaming down on her, "I was sort of pissed earlier and got bored, and you two don't seem like the church going types, so... I said why not." She shrugs "that's sixteenth century by the way" she nods at Zayn. "There's more over here." She motions, and Harry and Zayn follow, Zayns eyes still glued to the glass walls, and the paintings and half paintings destroyed by salt and time. He'll probably never see anything like this again.

"This corridor leads up to the opposite side of the main entrance, but If we b-line around it'll take us upstairs. It's forbidden but no ones around there anyway." Harry looks at the back of her head, and taps her shoulder while they walk.

"Hey, yeah, uhm it's cool and all that you're showing us all of this but, we just landed on this island literally foour hours ago, it'd be nice not to get arrested."

She laughs, "relax, they can't do anything about it, you haven't stolen anything, neither has your friend, right? Than you're good." Myriam leads them to another sliding door, she pushes in a code and they're out on a small hallway. It's littered with a more suave interior design, when they get to the end of it, they see the front of the entrance this time, and a soft marble railing rimmed with gold is holding them high up above everyone else.

Zayn see's the people pouring in, it could have been them down there, but some how the view from up here was way better. Here he saw almost everything, the hundreds of seats rowed neatly against each other, towards the sanctuary, where the priest would hold mass.

He wasn't naive about this. Christianity and Islam such different brothers with different bones. He wasn't brought up into it, but he was brought up into respect, and respecting other views, something his parents made sure he knew before anything else, and he's thankful to appreciate the beauty in it all.

Allah is always watching, he remembers it in his fathers low tone, strong and deep.

He see's Harry leaning on the railing, looking down, eyes scattering the place. "What's all of that? The floor, it's so intricate." "It's the Order of the Knights, well one faction of the Langues, they were all over Europe and the Ottoman Empire. Basically all the important knights are buried right under that floor." Harry looks at her with wide eyes, than at Zayn. "There's people walking on there tombs." Myriam laughs again, "they're buried way deeper than you think. C'mon I have more to show."

St. Johns Co-Cathedral is a beautiful place, honestly one Zayn won't ever forget, or Harry. Myriam shows them the hallways, the special rooms where the priests and the cardinals and bishops do there business,most of them praying or as Myriam liked to say "rolling in money." They stepped down into where most of the tourist were at and Myriam gave them a quick over view. She took them to the east wing, less people were around there, she turned to Zayn. "You have a keen eye for art." "Yeah? Thanks... I guess, this place is sorta magical, really thanks for showing us Myriam." "Magical?" She faintly gasps, "such choice of words, I'm glad you think so, islami." Zayn looks down at her not necessarily frowning but cautious, she only smiles, "we are like brother and sister, I appreciate you saying this. Muslims help build the place and most of Malta anyway." She walks a bit further down, "come... see?" Myriam says, "this is the Oratory," she points to the biggest painting up above her. "The Beheading of St. John the Baptist, by Michaelangelo Mersi de Caravaggio. This is his most well known artwork, he made it in 1608."

"This is ridiculously huge." Harry has his eyes glued to the frame, he's observant as the executioner, with the knife held behind his back, and his other hand, holding down John the Baptist, it's a simple painting, blood flows from St. Johns neck, there's a platter for his head.

"It depicted his life really." "So you're saying he's the executioner in the picture? Caravaggio." Zayn asks, "Exactly, he killed the wrong guy when he joined the Order of the Knights, Ranuccio Tomassoni then he went crazy."

"Don't they all?" Harry says somewhere out of view. When Zayn turns to see where he is, he's kneeling over the marble, the floor where a hundred knights were buried.Each like golden Polaroids, set with angels, skulls, lions, and stars.

Harry tries to read one, yet it's in Latin. "What's this say?" Myriam walks over to him, kneeling down, she looks at what he's pointed at, and softly laughs. "It's an old saying among the knights, 'hic expectans in novissima tuba resurgere incorruptus ut induat incorruptionem et vivat cum deo in aeternum'. Roughly translate to; he who believes in morality will rise again, on the last trumpet and live with God for eternity."

Harry smiles at her, "exactly how do you know all this stuff Myriam?" "Told you my family help built this cathedral." "No, not that, you just know a lot." Zayn says his arms are crossed, standing right behind them. "Hmm," Myriam stands up, "Well it doesn't hurt to know your surroundings. Anyway you guys hungry?" She doesn't wait for them as she walks out of the Oratory and back to the main hallway.

Zayn looked at Harry as they walked towards Myariams direction. "She's a mystery." "I know, I'm not sure I like this one." "You love mysteries, she reminds me of Talia." "The Wiccan? After junior year?  With the faulty hex?" Harry chuckles, " I doubt that." Zayn laughs, "you've called me a mystery before." Harry moves past the people coming in, Myriam isn't too far ahead he looks at Zayn about to answer him, but Myriam shouts to them. "Hurry up guys!" She waves them over, disappearing through the giant iron doors. When they walk down the steps, Harry turns to Zayn, making him stop on the third step. Harry shields his eyes from the roaring sun up above. "But you're just... different." He says and turns his back to Zayn without another word.

Myriam stands a few yards from the cathedral, there are vendors and food trucks a few yards away where people can get small souvenirs and something to fill there bellies. "Took you guys long enough." She smiles at them, her arms are crossed, Zayn see's she has more tattoos than he thought.

"We're still jet lagged." Harry says Zayns not sure but he thinks he hears annoyance, "but I am hungry I guess, you?" He looks at Zayn. "Yeah, I'm down." Zayn looks down at Myriam, "hey we didn't even give you our names" He awkwardly chuckles, "I'm Zayn by the way," he pats Harry's shoulder, "this ones Harry." Myriam chuckles, "ah, well Zayn and Harry, I'll buy you lunch yes? My treat." Myriam buys them gyros from a food truck near by. A few cold beers in there hands and there sitting at a table, talking idly, Harry mentions how they still haven't found a place to stay at yet but they'll probably drive to another town soon. Myriam isn't all too bad, her sense of humor is different and morose but Zayn can tell there's a softness to her.

"Do you believe?" Myriam looks at Harry who's downing the last of his beer. With a weary smile, "in?" "You know..." Harry sighs almost chuckles, "all I know is that somethings up there, something might be below, could just be the same damn thing with mood swings. Or nothing at all" He shrugs. "And with all you seen, you didn't feel anything?" "Feel anything?" He chuckles, "love, I only saw some pretty impressive paintings, nice architecture, am I supposed to be 'divine' after all that?" "No but... you're not a believer." "You're getting personal." "Alright, I'm sorry.. was just curious." She looks at Zayn who to her seems null, which isn't really true. "Haram, he's an infidel and you two seem so close."

"Well..." Harry says after a moment, "thanks for being our tour guide and all Myriam, do appreciate it. Honestly." She nods,"My pleasure Mr. West." Zayn looks at Harry when he doesn't answer properly, his brows furrow, because he recognizes that look on Harry's face, well... sort of. Because Harry only shows it when he's trying not  to show his agitation. The thin line on his neck peers through his skin, the way his shoulders broaden. Zayn can see it, he always has.

Harry gets up casually taking their empty beer bottles to throw them away. Myriam gives Zayn a small smile and follows Harry. But Zayns confused as hell and calls after him. Myriam only turns back to Zayn gesturing that she only needs a moment.

Harry for most of his life, hated liars, loathed them. "Mr. West... Mr. West." Myriam puts a hand on his arm, but he pulls away. "You can tell him to fuck off. And stop calling me that." "Not that simple, your fathers a scary man, honestly." Myriam half way smiles, almost apologetic.

"What do you want from me?" Does your stupid family even own this church, or were you just lying the whole time?" He click his tongue. "You work for him don't you?"   "No.. no, no, listen my only job was to show you and your friend around that's all. Your fathers been adamant about your stay, all I know is that I make sure your stay here is comfortable and.." "And he pays you for it." Myriams silent, "that's not.." "Honestly I don't give a damn, and you chatted us up, about how that damn church was funneling dirty money, and look what your doing, wow what a worker of God you are." He shakes his head, annoyed. Maybe they should just go back to Hawaii, instead of being monitored. "And then you give me this shit for not "believing", go screw yourself." Harry moves past her, but Myriam grabs his hand, making him turn towards her again. She holds his hand tightly bringing it up,no fear in her eyes, her thumb on his skin, pressing against the small cross tattooed between his thumb and index finger. "I wasn't giving you shit for not believing, but their has to be something right?" Myriam looks at the tiny cross, and then at Harry. She lets go of his hand, "at least you believe in that."

Harry turns back around not saying anything, Zayn gets up from his chair walking towards him, slowly. "Wait, Harry, wait." Myriam stops him again. Harry sighs. She catches up to him, her voice low, "you and Zayn probably need a place to stay, your father, wanted you to be in Mdina, but...." She takes a set of keys out of her pocket, pulling one from it's ring. "Go to Bahrija.... don't look at me like that, take it." Myriam takes the key and forces it into his hand.Harry slips the key into his pocket. "I have a vacation home there, haven't been there in years. It's clean and secluded a maid comes in every other week..... being in the city is easier for him to have an eye on you." Myriam sighs. "Why are you doing this?" She shrugs, "maybe I believe in something." Harry doesn't smile, just nods and walks away.

"What the fuck was that?" Zayn is in front of Harry so quick. "Harry how the hell does she know you? Do you know her?" Harry bites his bottom lip, "I'll tell you on the way yeah? We should go." "Are you okay?" He nods "of course, c'mon lets go." "Where?" Zayn looks over to Myriam, but she's already walking away. "Harry..." "Zay," He puts his hand on his shoulder squeezing gently, sounding tired all of a sudden. "Please lets go." Zayn narrows his eyes, he hates it when Harry beats around the bush, but he doesn't push it any further. He gives him an okay and they make there way out of the plaza.

They walk back up the waterfront, passing all the performers and colorful rustic buildings. Harry walks in brisk steps, trying to remember where they parked that stupid looking Volvo.

They didn't realize how long of a walk it is, or the hills they need to pass. But they pass the stores and and bistros the loud tourists scrambling taking pictures.

"You can tell me you know.." Zayn says, Harry's only a couple of paces ahead of them. They're on the last hill, passing all the parked cars smooched together.

Harry doesn't say anything at first,just shrugs,"I know." "So you will?" A man in a bike passes by them going downhill . "I will." Zayn tries to walk a bit faster, but the hill is too damn steep. "What did she say to you?" Zayn finds it irritating talking to Harry's back, instead of Harry. So he runs up, kicks the back of Harry's shin, and despite himself he laughs when Harry sorta loses his balance. "Honestly, Zayn!" Harry tries not to crack a smile but the tiniest one curls on his lips. "I'm not here for your mess," he pulls himself straight up with a hand on Zayns shoulder. They walk side by side quietly.

"You trust me?" Zayn looks over at Harry who doesn't look at him, just walks and walks. "Yes, what ever it is you can-" "I don't want to mess this up for you..." Harry states. "It's just here... well everywhere besides home. People.. "know me", like my family and stuff, I know I don't really talk about it because honestly it's draining. And I don't want to ruin it with people thinking they can insert themselves in things I do.... things we do. I don't wanna be cryptic. But this is supposed to be fun for you... a break with no bullshit." "No I get it Haz." Do you? Harry thinks but,he only puts his hands in his pockets. "Besides, I know the real you." Harry looks at Zayn and smiles, bumps his head on Zayns shoulder, a silent thank you. No words. Zayn wraps his arm around Harry's shoulder his chin on top of Harry's head. "Don't worry about it." Zayn sighs, they walk the rest of the way in silence till they finally find the Volvo. It starts quickly with the first turn of the ignition.

When Harry starts driving, it's fast, with quick and swift turns. Zayn looks over to him, presses his hand on his shoulder. Harry looks at Zayn for a moment as he slows down turning his attention back to the road.

"We're going to Bahrija. You don't mind?" "I don't even know where that is." Zayn slips back in his seat, his eyelids low, a loose smile on his face. "It's a bit past Mdina, I googled it, you can go to sleep? I'll wake you when we're close." Zayn shakes his head at first, "I don't think I'll sleep till I see a bed." Harry chuckles quietly, "right, not like you'll be out in ten minutes." Harry turns into another busy road, it's past the market place they drove past earlier. Zayn looks out his window, he see's the familiar flowers hung up between the buildings, on telephone poles and riddled on the trees. "It's beautiful here..." Zayns voice is low and sleepy. "I know... I like the flowers they hang up, think they're jasmines. Saw different ones, at the waterfront too." Zayn hums, trying to keep his eyes open, they drive past a couple of boats by the harbor, most of them the same turquoise and bright yellow. He says it quietly at first almost to himself,"Zayn I think I should tell you-" Harry looks over at Zayn, he sighs and relaxes a bit. Zayns already asleep.

It's a small tug somewhere inside him he can' place, but when Zayn wakes up slowly and tired, he already knows Harry isn't in the seat next to him, he's just welcomed to the sun in his eyes. He looks around again, moving in his seat, it would be just his luck if he was  left stranded in a foreign country he barely knew anything about. So he bites on his nails. Waiting. Harry had to be around anyway, maybe asking for directions and he didn't bother waking him up. Idiot. Zayn sighs, checks his phone, its on low battery but he makes a call to Harry anyway yet it goes straight to voice mail. "Really?" He says to himself, and shoots Harry a text 'hell are you?' People on bikes zoom past the car, a group of teenagers with glass bottle of  Coke and Fanta yell and scream, and laugh. One of them even waves at him, then saying something in Maltese to one of their friends and laughs before walking away. When they pass,Zayn rolls down his window. Waiting. It's a busy street corner where he's parked and almost like the one in Valletta but more raw. There are more buildings and wider alleyways flags swung in the air. Zayn checks his phone again the feeling of sleep trying to creep up on him and he tries to wade it away. Its' been a good twenty minutes but if feels way longer than that. He'll just close his eyes for a moment.

"Still asleep? Geez Zayn, someone could put a fork on this bitch and you'd still be drooling hmm?" Harry taps on the car window on the drivers side. Zayn sits up immediately, rolling his eyes unlocking the drivers door.

"I was just resting my eyes. Harry I called you..." "My phones dead, sorry." He says climbing into the Volvo, two bags that carried the aroma of food hit Zayn right in his stomach. "I got a lot of take out, I'm not sure if the house we're going to is stocked but I thought it'd be best to be safe than sorry." Harry opened one of the plastic bags in his lap, taking out one of those old fashioned soda glasses, like the ones in the hands of the dusty teenagers that passed by. "Coke or Sprite? I didn't know which one you were in the mood for." Zayn smiled. "Choose quickly I'm taking the one you don't want." "Fine. Sprite." Zayn takes the cold glass bottle in his hands. "Here." Harry put down his coke in one of the cup holders, takes out something wrapped in foil, and gives it to Zayn. "Chicken shawarma, extra sauce, extra spice." "I'm so fucking hungry." Zayn takes it in his hands still very warm, not leaving a minute to stray and opens the foil biting down immediately, giving Harry an appreciative smile with his mouth closed. They both eat in the car, downing there food in haste looking out the car window silently, watching as people flew by. "So where exactly are we going again? Bahjrah?"Zayn asks. "Yeah, it's like fifteen minutes from here." "So it's... Myriams place?" "Sort of." "So you do trust her?" "No," Harry pauses, taking the last bite of his shawarma compressing the foil in his hands in a tight ball. "She's just helping I guess,she feels sorry she's profiting off of having to do what my dad tells her, or the people that work for him I guess." He shrugs, "it's just easier to not be in the cities, we won't get noticed." You mean 'you' Zayn thinks, he leans back in his seat his eyes on Harry, mocking suspicion. "Exactly who are you?" The question laced with a tease, but seriousness if Harry was ever willing to look at it. Zayn knew better. Harry laughs, lets the tension in his back go, "I don't fucking know. We should get going though, it gets dark rather quickly around here." Harry starts the car, Zayn clicks in his seat belt, his eyes peer back to Harry as he turns the car into the busy intersection. Zayn turns on the radio, or at least tries to, each channel had a horrible connection and it was mostly filled with white noise rather than Maltese Top 40. They don't have a phone charger for the car, so Zayn opts out of using his phone.

It's silent in the car, and the sun is already sinking down the horizon of barque buildings, and cobble stone. In the distance, Zayn can hear the daily prayer, he looks onward and see's they're about to drive near a mosque. The street is riddled with cars and Harry slows down, driving steady through the streets, letting pedestrians cross, bikers cut ahead of him. Zayn looks out of the passenger window, the mosque was behind another building but he could spot the turquoise dome head and the nagwa up above. The muezzin is loud and bellows through the air, it rings in there ears and Zayn closes his eyes, muttering shahada under his breathe, his head pressing against the window.

"Do you wanna go inside for prayer? I can park the car and wait." "Hmm?" Zayn opens his eyes, doesn't realize they stopped at a red light. "No it's okay, they're about done anyway. We're almost there right?" "Yeah, but I can stop for the evening prayer if you want? I don't mind." Zayn yawns a bit, his lips curling upwards, "It's fine Haz, and that doesn't start until another four hours anyway. Best if I do salat at the house, I can take a shower there too." Harry nods, someone honks behind him. He drives slow, slow so the words that echo out of the mosque don't slip his ears easily, that he hears Zayn whisper softly to himself. The last of the prayer drums so loud against the air, it's always been Zayns favorite part. The part you can feel wrap around your bones, and soothes the hollows of your ears. La ilaha illla Allah. Harry drives slow until he reaches out of Mdina.

Bahrija is nothing but rural country. rubble and long slates of grass, small cottages and apartments lined along its shore. The road is old, so the Volvo tilts and sways with each give in it's own rhythm. They turn into a small roadway, as Harry pulls up, he see's the vacation house Myriam had texted him about. He deleted her number right after she gave him directions and the code to the alarm system.

Zayn was still fighting sleep, but the sun was finally setting in small golden wisps in the sky. But once he saw the house, he sat up. It wasn't extremely big nor was it small sitting on top of a small hill. It was white brick on what he could see from the outside. It's yard mowed, palm trees surrounding the home.Three post lights were lined up and spaced evenly giving them a path to drive on. "Whoa, this is really nice." Zayn smirked looking at Harry who stayed quiet.

Harry parked the Volvo in the drive way, let the engine cool a bit before moving, he could hear the wind pick up outside. "We going in or what?" Zayn pushed his shoulder playfully. Harry smiled a bit, "Yeah mate, 'course."

They took there duffle bags from the trunk of the car, the bags of take out Harry bought and walked to the silver door. Harry slid in the key and turned the handle.

When Harry turned on the light, he couldn't help but whistle a bit. The house was modern on the inside, Zayn appreciated the lighting, high on the ceilings it brought a golden glow in the house. The alarm started beeping and Harry turned to punch in the code.

"This is way nice", Zayn looked up, putting his bag on the floor, walking into the kitchen. It was one of those open kitchens you see in magazines and displayed in IKEA. Silver appliances, clear glass cabinets. Everything was perfectly put in place, yet there was something comfortable about it.Zayn hadn't noticed before but the dining area's wall was complete glass,where you're able to see outside. He moved to it, seeing his reflection on the glass, and out to the yard. "Harry come see this." "Yeah in a minute." Harry took there bags in his hands, walking down the hallway, apparently there was only one room, but when he opened it and flickered on the lights, it seemed he walked into one those presidential suites he used to be so accommodated to when he was younger. It was massive, a bed with what seemed like an ivory bedpost it's frame was beautiful curved in designs, and trimmed with a rustic gold. Harry put their bags on top of the bed, looked around a bit more before going back outside to find Zayn staring out the glass window wall.

"You think people can see us inside here? Or like is it one of those where we can see outside but they can't see us?" "Im not sure but..."Harry looked around, walked to the kitchen and opened a few drawers before finding what he was looking for. A small remote in his hand and stood next to Zayn. "Just to be safe." He pressed a button on the remote and thin shades slid down the wide window wall. Harry stopped them in the middle. "You want em up or leave it how it was?" He smiled. "Leave it how it was? I think this is pretty cool." "Me too." Harry pressed another button and the shades drew back into the ceiling.

The palm trees swung as more wind picked up, most of the sun was gone now. They explored the house a bit more. There were couches in the main living room, a TV and electronics hid inside behind an automatic foyer that you could open and close as you please. Zayn stepped into what seemed to be the backyard but another living room too. This one was both outside and wasn't all at the same time, encased in glass walls and soft carpet, it was open where their was a heated pool and patio furniture. Zayn didn't realize the view was this beautiful. Even though it was dark outside, it was kinda scary and quaint all at the same time. He could dimly see the ocean in the distance, yet he could hear the waves crashing into the rocks.

When he walked into the room, Harry was already sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes. Zayn turned to see there was only one bed, and a breeze coming in. Harry had opened the sliding door of the balcony. "You tired?" Harry asks, taking a pack of cigarettes out of his duffle bag. "Sort of, Imma shower though, but I'm still hungry." Zayn laughed. "Alright wash up, I'll be out in the balcony." He stands up and walks towards it, "Hey we're gonna have fun tomorrow ye?" Zayn nods, "yeah, you got something planned?" Harry laughs, "I'm a horrible planner. But there's a cool beach down here, so swimming?" "Yeah maybe, if the weather is good, are we even around civilization?" "Nah," Harry laughs, putting a cigarette between his lips, "just you and me." He disappears into the balcony, sliding the door behind him.

Zayn takes a few things out of his bag, and slips into the impressive bathroom. It's equipped with a bathtub that looks more like a jaqouzie and a tall glass plated shower. He slips into the shower and turns it on, letting it build steam before taking off his clothes. His shoulders tense a bit, his body tired as he slips out of his clothes. So when he slips into the shower it's a relief. The water pressure helps with the knots on his back, Zayn washes his hair and takes his time a bit humming to himself. The petering of the water makes him feel like he's in the middle of a rain shower. It hits perfectly on his skin, cleaning himself off.

When he's finished, Zayn brushes his teeth, and slips into some sweats and a loose tank top, his feet bare against the warm laminate floor. For a second he can't help but think about today, how much art he's seen, the people he's seen, Myriam, the whole enigma that's following Harry around. He misses Kelly, he'll call her before going to sleep he decides, it would do him good to hear her voice.

Harry is sitting on a lounge chair when Zayn opens the sliding door. "I gotta go." Harry says into the phone and slides it into the pocket of his jeans. "You got the phone charger out here?" "Yeah," Harry hands it to him, "It's getting cold wanna go inside?" Zayn nods.

A moment later and Zayn is sitting on top of the bed, looking through his phone, as it charges. Harry looks trough his bag.

"Who was that you were talking to Haz?" Zayn doesn't look up from his phone. "No one, just stupid business." "Was it your dad?" Zayn feels the cold tip in the air when he's met with silence. "Yeah it was him." "Oh." "Imma shower ok?" "Ok."

Zayn hears the thudding of the shower starting in the bathroom after a few minutes. He tries calling Kelly and she answers quickly. "Zayn!Hey!" "Habibti." He smiles. They talk for a good while, she tells him Noel asked about him, then ran into Liam and Adrien in town, looking for fresh lilies with Noel at the farmers market. "You're gonna have to do some explaining," she laughs, "you and Harry. They're worried. "What did they say?" "They just wanted to know when you were coming back, the both of you, why you didn't tell them, all that. I don't know I was hit with a million questions all at once, and a lot of screaming." She laughs," Liam mostly asked about you. But I told them all you guys were okay after you called me last night. That you'll be back soon." She pauses for a second, "you'll be back soon right?" Zayn laughs, and sits up on the bedpost a bit, "'course, sooner than you'll know it." He can hear one of the dogs in the background barking, Kelly coo's him and it's quiet again. "So, you got me my souvenir?" Kelly sits on the couch, it's only ten in the morning and it's bright outside, the sun right in the living room. "Working on it." Zayn smiles, he can still hear the shower in the bathroom running. "Mmhm. What time is it over there?" "Ten at night, over there?" "Ten in the morning." Kelly laughs, "Anyway you must be tired, you'll call again tomorrow?" "Yep." "I can't believe you went inside a church, Zay." "I was curious, kinda nice in there, not like jahmaye though." "Alright well post some pics on instagram so I can be even more jealous. Get some sleep, tell Harry I said hi, good night, and to get me a souvenir too." "I thought I was getting you something." "Oh you are, both of you are." Kelly giggles through the phone. "Aight, good night big bro." "Morning sis."

Zayn puts his phone down on the dresser next to the bed. He sighs at the time, and looks into one of the closets, it's no mahsala-prayer rug, but it'll do. Getting the rosary beads from his bag, Zayn lays a folded bed sheet to the west, closes his eyes, and says an iyada, bending his hips downward, kneeling, and starts his prayer. When he's finished he folds the blanket back into the closet, he hears the wind pick up outside. ---

When Harry comes out of the bathroom he finds Zayn sitting on the floor, the takeout they had heated and splayed out. "Fridge is filled with food." Zayn laughs a bit, biting into a qassata, a bottle of wine next to him, "but I thought we might as well finish what you bought" "Smells really good, you must of worked away in the kitchen." Harry laughs, sitting down on the floor next to Zayn. He pokes at the grilled chicken and veggies before taking a bit. "Microwave does wonders these days," Zayn smiles.

He has the map next to him, "So we're next to Fomm ir-Rhi Bay? Think we can go down there tomorrow? I goggled it, and it's not far from here at all." "Hell yeah, what else you wanna do?" Harry thinks for a second, "we should probably stay here till Sunday?" "And then after that?" Zayn asks, handing the bottle of wine to Harry to open, giving him the opener. "I don't know.. you've been looking at the map?" "Yeah."   "And? Where do you wanna go after? He pops the cork and pours the wine into mugs. Looking at the bottle it's Chateau Vincens and places it down, and takes a long sip from his cup.

Zayn shrugs, "remember when you first mentioned Malta? How you said you just wanted to sit on top of one of there cliffs, or like go mountain climbing? We can do that in Gozo it's the part of Malta I figured we could head there and then see when."

Harry smiles, he bites on his bottom lip, surprised a bit, that Zayn remembers that conversation. "Why not, so... you'll really go mountain climbing with me?"

"Heights aren't my thing." Zayn sighs. "I know.. but we'll be going with instructors, ye? Say you're down." "No." Zayn teases, "I just wanna get Kelly a souvenir, or something from there, some sea shells, a bottle of sand." "Lame. How are you gonna get her a bottle of sand, you're the worst gift giver." Harry plops on his stomach, his elbows propped up and eats more of his food.

"Alright then you get her something for me, and then she wants you get her something too." . "You're just pinning this on me huh?" "Yep." Zayn smiles, he starts on the platter of ricotta and veggies on chabata bread, served with savory chicken and a spicy sauce. They both eat there food, and drink there wine, talking idly, bringing up a few ideas here and there. Zayn doesn't bring up Myriam again, even though he wants to, but he doesn't, just watches Harry talk about what they could do in Gozo, how they'll probably have to take a boat ride there, depart ways with the ancient Volvo.

Zayn shakes his head no at the idea of scuba diving, he grins when Harry whines. But he knows he doesn't mind all too much. "Alright I think I'll know what we'll do tomorrow at the beach." "And what is that?" Zayn says slowly. "You'll see." Harry's eyelashes bat as he downs the rest of his wine, his cheeks are a bit flushed, but he looks warm from where Zayns sitting. The only light is the one coming from the bathroom and it hits him perfectly.

Harry takes the empty takeout containers, and the empty mugs and puts them in the kitchen, throwing away anything that isn't needed. When he walks back into the room, Zayn is already sitting on the bed, the light from the bathroom closed. "So you're down?" Harry asks, lips curling into a smile. "For?" "Mountain climbing Zed." "I don't know Harriet, we'll see." "Excuses." Harry pinches his nose, and gets his pinched back. He lays on top of the bed, next to Zayn. The bed is huge, so he rolls over once, and finds the folding of the heavy covers. "C'mon lets go to bed, big day ahead of us, adventure awaits!" Zayn smiles, crawls his way into the pillows, and slides underneath the covers, fluffing the pillows once and finding his comfort place before settling.

"Goodnight." Harry says in the dark. "Good- Harry where are you?" He hears him laughing, "I'm right here. Where are you?" "You sound far away." Zayn has his back flat against the bed. He looks to this right where he thinks Harry is lying but it's too dark to tell. "I can't see you." Zayn puts out a hand against the sheets, his palm facing downward, as far as he could reach but he didn't feel anyone there. "I'm right here silly rabbit." Harry moves towards his left. Zayn feels something on the hand he has stretched out. Fingers. They grip they pull,and he lets it happen til Zayn is face to face with Harry on the bed. Harry has his phone in his hand, it lights shine down on the two of them. "Better?" Harry's voice is low, Zayn can tell he's getting really sleepy.

"Yeah," Zayn brings a pillow underneath him. "Thanks for today...since we landed I didn't think it would be like this." "Me neither," Harry turns the light off from his phone, it's hurting his eyes. "thought it'd be much... smoother. And you don't have to thank me Zay." "It's okay... yeah I do." "No you don't." "Stop arguing with me." "No." "Harold." "What?" "...you didn't do anything wrong." "Hmph." Its silent again, for a long time and Zayn thinks Harry's fast asleep till he speaks again. "Are you gonna tell me?" "About what Harry?" Zayn yawns. "You're memory that you wrote down when we were in Valletta?" "I'm not supposed to." "Who says?" Zayn can feel him move on the bed. "I'm not telling you."Zayn chuckles into his pillow, stretching out his legs underneath the bed covers. Silence again. "Memory I wrote down was... freshman year.. maybe sophmore." Zayn feels his veins jump a bit, he thinks.... "That stupid field trip to HPU, we got lost on campus cuz I wanted to see if they hand that lucky turtle with the blue spot on its shell."

Zayn feels himself smiling in the dark. "You stole that damn thing, and we almost got caught. Then you gave him to Liam a week later and it died that month" "Was worth it though, it was a lucky turtle. Passed that US history exam" "With a D-" "Passing grade is a passing grade. Remember how we took it?" Zayn hums, "you put em underneath your shirt, and zipped up your jacket, thinking no one was gonna notice." "No one did." "Till you started bleeding, cuz it bit you... repeatedly" Harry chuckles, "you lied for me." "Huh?"

"When we got on the bus, and that campus security got on the bus, saying who ever took the turtle would get in big trouble and I think he knew I did it, so he kept picking on me. You just stood up for me and lied, you didn't have to, but you did." Harry sighs, "I dunno... but when that guy said to write a memory I dunno that just came up."

It was silent again.

"I'll tell you then..." Zayn whispered.

Zayn rolled to his side, not realizing how close Harry's body was next to his, but with his back turned to Zayn. He found his nose in Harry's hair, he smelled faintly of vanilla and shea butter, it was nice. But Harry didn't stir he was already a sleep.

Zayn woke up cold, utterly cold, he sat up a bit, looking around, it was a dark grey shrowd in the room, he could tell it was somewhere between two or three in the morning, he rubbed his eyes. Harry was sleeping on his side, past out. He didn't want to wake him but the temperature was ridiculous, and the heavy cotton covers were barely helping.

"Haz." Zayn shook his shoulder a bit. Harry sprang up, his eyes clear and awake. "What is it? You alright?"   "Sorry," Zayn scooted back a bit, "it's cold. Think you can turn on the A/C?" Harry moved his hair from his face, it was sticking up in all sorts of directions, but he nodded and yawned, "yeah, yeah love."

Zayn sat up against the head board, bringing the heavy covers around his shoulders, watching Harry get up to find the A/C. Sleep was still heavy on his eyes but he couldn't deal with how cold it got. The tips of his ears felt numb.

Harry scurries into the hallway, he rubs his shoulders feeling the bite of how cold it really was. Mostly because they were so close with the ocean. It was still dark but he could see around fair enough. He scanned the walls and didn't see the A/C switch, he looked again, and into the kitchen, his bare feet trotting on the cold floor. Nothing.

Zayn watches as Harry comes back, shaking his head. "Don't know where the A/C is." "It's okay, it'll get warm again." "I can start the fireplace?" Harry pointed to it in the far corner of the room, "just gotta put it out later." Zayn nods, rubbing his palms together, underneath the covers.

Harry flicks the wick on the stand of the fire place, he lights the wood and gets it going. The fire cackles a bit, Harry smiles to himself faintly, rubbing his hands towards the flames, making sure not to get burned. He motions to Zayn, "you can come closer to get warm." Zayn moves from the bed, takes the big bed spray with him and a couple of pillows. He spreads it down on the floor, the bed spray first then the pillows, walks over to the small closet where he found the blanket and takes the one made out of soft cashmere.

"Do you wanna sleep down here?" Zayn asks, already laying down on the makeshift of pillows and blankets. "Yeah, that'd be cool." Harry smiles all sleepy, he doesn't realize it but his head is already hitting down on a pillow.

"Warm?" "Yeah.. getting there." Zayn sighs. Harry's eyes are hooded, sleep is calling him again, yet he see's the glint of the fire in Zayns brown eyes, they look like honey and gold.

Harry falls alseep rather quickly. Zayn can tell, his cheeks puff out when he's tired, his lips barely parted. Zayn stares at the fire for a bit, letting his body relax from its warmth. He can feel his too; Harry's. Even though he's not all to close, it's hard not to say that Harry isn't magnetizing. A curl sticks against Harry's cheek, Zayn moves it carefully, making sure he doesn't stir. "Thank you." Zayn presses the words against his pillow, his eyes still lingering on Harry before he drifts to sleep.

[coffeesforfuckers]

Our Summers Together Are My Best Kept Secrets And My Biggest Mistakes // Chapter Six

Ships: Peterick, Brallon, Ferard, Trohley, Jalex, Zian and others in the background

Description: Summers for most kids are spent going to the beach and on vacations with your family but lots are shipped off to summer camps for the whole summer. But the kids at Hempman Summer Camp actually beg to go! Patrick Stump, Andy Hurley and Joe Trohman all met there, they had all known each other for probably over a decade because of this absolutely amazing stay-away camp for kids from the ages of six to nineteen. All the kids that were there came back until they couldn't and they always had the same kids except a few new, younger, kids every year. That is until the year that the weird kid with the jet-black, dyed, black fringe and the crazy piercings and a couple tattoos comes in like he owns the place. That year also happens to be the same year that Patrick Stump gets gum stuck to the new emo kid's face and hair. It was love at first sight... But hate at first interaction for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and the complete opposite for the new kid, Pete Wentz.

Chapter 6: Six: A New Year and a New Us and Some New Friends

Patrick

Another school year come and gone, one more year left of school and camp… I'm alright with school being done but I can't believe that next year will be our last summer here.

I'm sitting where I do every year, waiting for my friends to show up. I feel an arm lock around my shoulders and a hand ruffling my hair.

“First day back at camp!” Pete shouts excitedly. I shove him off of me.

“Get off me, jeez.” I grunt and Pete drops to sit on the ground beside the Stump I was on.

“We met in this very spot last summer, Pat!” He bumps my arm with his head.

“Yep.” I blow a bubble with my gum and Pete pops it, “Dick.” I mutter as I peel the goop off my face.

“Pete! Patrick!” Andy jogs towards us, “Have you seen Joe?” He pants, it looks like he ran all the way here.

“Nope, sorry Andy. Did you check the cabin?” I reply.

“Not yet, thanks though. Talk soon!” He runs off and both Pete and I give each other a look.

“Weird.” We say in unison and Pete laughs with a grin on his face.

“Jack and Alex moved into cabin A with Rian and Zach this year. It's just You, Joe, Andy and I.” I inform and he shrugs.

“That sucks but oh well.” Pete shrugs at me, “Wanna go on an adventure?” He winks, making me laugh.

“Sure, where to?” I ask.

“The tree?” He suggests and I stand, he grins and we're off to a woods.

Dallon

By midnight I'd given up on the idea of Brendon showing up even when he'd promised he'd come.

My phone buzzes with a new message as I'm typing to him.

BeeboBreadbin : Fuck I just got this, I haven't had much battery and shut my phone off

BeeboBreadbin: I'm lost, I'm so sorry fuckkk

Dal-Do: Send me your location, I'm on my way to Pick u up rn

BeeboBreadbin: I'm sorryyyyyyy!!!

I stumble around, getting dressed and ready to head out I surprisingly didn’t wake anybody even while bumbling around like an elephant in a glass shop.

I walk out to my car and jump in, still waiting for Brendon to send me the location of where he’s at. I start it up and pull out of my parking space, starting the long as hell drive down the path through the woods. It took about twenty minutes to reach the road.

I’m probably ten minutes down the path when I notice a figure by the edge of the road about a mile up and I’m very confused. I slow down as I approach it come to a stop probably a bit more than a half-mile from whatever it was. I check my phone and see the location and look up once more. That’s when I realize what that figure was and I burst into hysterical laughter as I see that idiot sitting on his bag with a few others around him. I throw my door open and my loud cackling echos through the silent, pitch-black evening. Brendon jumps up and that’s when he notices its me, he runs towards me and throws himself onto me, both of us hitting the ground.

“Dal-do!” He shouts, his voice was just as gorgeous as him.

“Forehead!” I laugh at him and he smacks my arm playfully, “You complete idiot! How long have you been walking!?”

“The uber driver dropped me off like a mile or so from here and so I’ve been walking for a while and then I thought I had the wrong place cause this road was so long.” He frowns and I smile at him, sitting up and pushing him off me even though it felt really nice.

“Get your shit, put it in my car and I’ll bring you to camp.” Brendon jumps up and grabs his stuff, I help carry it to the car. He’d brought a whole lot of stuff.

We drive back to the car park and lug his stuff to the cabin. He was so tiny, I always expected him to be taller, then again, I am practically a giant. We get to the cabin and everybody is now awake. Spencer and Jon doing their thing off in the corner and Ryan had just gotten in.

Brendon spots Ryan and as soon as Ryan waves at him and throws him a smile, I know I lost him.

“I’m Brendon, Dallon’s friend.” He sticks his hand out to Ryan who smiles softly.

Shit.

“I’m Ryan, not so much Dallon’s friend. Not so much any of these loser’s friends.” Ryan mutters and takes Brendon’s hand.

“That’s kinda mean, dude. Dallon’s really nice and funny and he talks about Spencer and Jon a lot and they’re really nice too from what I know.” Brendon frowns.

“Well, I’m a bitch.” Ryan shrugs, “But I can’t say that I don’t like you.” He looks Brendon over.

“Fuck off Ryan.” I snap.

“What? I can’t make friends?” He glares at me.

“I’m going to bed.”

Alex

I lay awake, I can’t sleep. Jack can, but he’s restless. I wish I could comfort him, just climb into the bed with him and hold him. I miss him so much but he seems to be fine without me around. He ignores me and pretends I don’t exist whenever I try to talk to him.

This time he won’t I decide and slip out of my bed, leaning over Jack’s, shaking him until he’s awake, “What? What’s wrong? What happened?” He slurs, sitting upright and looking around. His eyes land on me and he frowns angrily.

“Jack…” I whisper, “Come with me.”

“No way in hell, Alex.” He snaps.

“Please…” I beg softly.

“Fuck off, Alex.” He grunts, going to lie back but I grab him.

“Jack, I’m begging you, please just come with me.” I speak desperately and he lets out an agrivated huff, relenting to my begging and pleading.

“Fine.” He mutters, getting up and going over to the closet of bags to grab clothes.

“No, just come, no need to get dressed.” I grab his arm and he pulls away.

“I’m putting on a shirt at least.” He glares at me for a moment. I wouldn’t mind looking at him like this though, he’s got a great body.

“Okay…” I murmur. It takes forever for him to find the thing he wanted to wear. Always so picky. This was also why he was always late.

I tug him out into the evening and he shivers so I give him my jacket. He takes it to my surprise.

“Jack, I want to try again. This time no secrets, no lies. I love you and I want everybody to know because I am proud to be yours, to be called yours. I love you so much, Jack and it’s hell without you, please just let me try again.” I beg.

“You said this last time, Alex. You then went back on your word not even a week later.” Jack crosses his arms, “So, no. Not until you can prove to me that you’re not lying.”

I had a mission and Alex Gaskarth never turns down a challenge.

***

The next morning I’m actually up in time for breakfast. I sit with Dallon, Jon, Spencer, Rian, Zach and Mikey, Jack sits as far away from our group as possible, sitting with the weird, wanna-be emo kids.

“You’re up early, ‘Lex.” Zach smiles at me. Usually I missed breakfast from my long sleeping habits.

“Yeah, I just couldn’t really sleep.” I shrug sleepily. It wasn’t a complete lie.

“You okay?” He asks and I shrug again.

“I-... I have to do something.” I stand up and everybody expects me to leave, looking at me like I was crazy when I jumped up onto the table, everybody around us that noticed also watched me weirdly, “I have an announcement to make if I can have your attention for a moment!” I call out, shaking with nerves.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Dallon whisper/yelled at me as everybody turned to watch me but my eyes were fixated on Jack who didn’t even bat an eye at me and continued talking to some guy at his table.

“Can I have everybody’s attention please!” I repeat and he still doesn’t move, “I just have to prove a point to somebody in here… Last summer I finally got up the balls to ask out the person I’ve been in love with for my entire life but it was ended because I was an asshole and wanted to keep ‘us’ a secret. I just want to say that I’m not keeping secrets anymore. I love Jack Barakat and I want you to please, please take me back.” I say loudly and hear a few gasps but Now Jack was on his face, his eyes wide at my statement. He jumps up onto his table and I roll my eyes, always making it a competition.

He points at me, “Alex Gaskarth, you sure do have some balls doing something this crazy! I can’t say no to crazy like that!” He starts to smile at me and I smile back. The room is silent and it’s so awkward, both of us just standing there, staring at each other with everybody else staring at us, “That’s a yes by the way.” He chuckles as he hops off the table and I do as well, there are some cheers but mostly nobody cares . Jack is over to my table before I even touch the floor again and he’s hugging me in a bone crushing hug that I melted into.

“You had to make a scene for that?” Rian points out.

“Yeah like couldn’t y’all just kiss a bit and be done with it.” Zach chuckles.

“Leave them alone.” Mikey smiles, “Let them have their moment and ridicule them at the wedding.”

I roll my eyes and kiss Jack passionately. I missed that sweet taste of his. He always tasted like candy with a hint of Jack Daniels, he also smelled like chocolate and Jack Daniels too. He had a thing for candy and alcohol.

“Ew, no kissing in my lobby.” Groans Gerard as he approached our table.

“You're just salty cause the only person that would ever kiss you like that is a dude.” Mikey retorts, looking up at his brother from his phone.

“Fuck you.” He mutters, sitting down at the table.

Gerard

Mikey let's out a soft snort at my reply, “Frank would.”

“Oh my fucking Christ, shut the fuck up Mikey.” I groan, Frank definitely was not into me, he was dating some girl and they were all over each other whenever I saw them together. Nobody ever believed me when I said that I was straight and so was Frank. Well I mean, I was lying, I'm bi but nobody needs to know that.

Even though I was bi I would never date Frank. Not in a million years.

“Gerard, I think you may need glasses more than me.” He mutters and turns to glance up at me from his lesbian-librarian glasses.

“Fuck you, Mikey.” I grunt.

“Fr-”

“Say it and this fork will be in your neck.” I hiss, not even looking up at him.

“Gee’s in a bad mood today.” Jack ruffles my hair and I glare up at him.

“Gee!” I hear Frank's voice echo out and I instantly groan, gripping my fork tighter in my hand, “Hey, Boo!” He giggles and kisses my neck.

“Fuck off, Frank.” I mutter through gritted teeth.

“Fucking hell… You're pissy today.” He grumbles, pulling away from me. I was being a bitch, I can admit but I mean, can you blame me? I was being harassed.

Frank sits next to me and pulls an envelope out of his pocket, dropping it on the table in front of me. I pick it up and open it, pulling out the contents.

“Whoa!” I choke and drop the papers onto the table, “Fucking Sleeping With Sirens tickets! Are you for real!? These have been sold out for months!” I shout, “You lucky bastard!”

“Happy late birthday, Gee! Very late but I just got them.” Frank grins at me.

“These are for me?” I ask him, my voice cracking.

“Yep, I have to let you know that I got you meet and greets but the passes aren't here yet. They should be here next week.” He smiles at me.

“Holy shit… Frank, why did you do this?”

“I don't know, you're my best friend and you love them and deserve to see them.” He shrugs, “That girl you like is into them too right? You should bring her!” Frank genuinely was the sweetest person ever.

“What? No, you're coming with me, Dumbass!” The look of shock that crosses his face is surprising.

“Really?”

“You bought them you nit, of course you're coming!” I smile at him and he hugs me.

He's too touchy.

Brendon

Ryan and I were super close. Well, dating really. The first few weeks were great but Ryan has been more impatient and temperamental. He hates when I talk to Dallon... or anybody for that matter. He was too jealous for me and I was beginning to be miserable.

Chapter Masterlist ~

Previous -

One - The Gum Habit Gone Bad

Two - On the Rooftop with You

Three - I Have a Forehead Texting Me and He’s Kind of Cute?

Four - Memories I Keep Locked Away for Times Like This

Five - Crying into the Void That is You

Next -

Seven - Abandoning You Was My Worst Mistake but Somehow You’re Still There For Me

[omegarising]

Sweet Things I am all for flavours and I'm all for trying out anything new. But there are some things where even I draw the line. And those things are rare and few. Mixing sweet and salty foods is one. I have an uncle who'd eat dal by mixing sweet malai in it. He has two kids and he does it even today. I used to think that maybe as a kid he didn't like eating dal and his mother mixed it with sugar and malai to make it palatable for the kiddy tastebuds. But, as an adult...ugh. Chocolate pizza was another such abomination. More like bread with chocolate on it. Also, chocolate momos. People have no respect for food these days. They'll mix anything with anything just to be on the weird and wacky side. Of course, gimmicks only last for a while. But the deed is done and recorded in history and these people will be judged. Some day. I do not have much experience when it comes to eating foods of different cultures. It's all about what people grow up eating. What's vile to us might be delicious to them. But some cultures have insanely delicious foods and snacks too. Cuts both ways. Hah.