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jeagerism · 3 years

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i think im lost again

+ word count : honestly idek, ill take a guess at maybe nearly 700-800?

+ characters : levi ackerman, armin arlert, mentions of eruri and eremin (armin and levi r not shipped fuck out of here)

+ warnings : season 3 attack on titan spoilers, mentions of death, modern!au, levi is basically a dad without being a dad (does that make him a dilf??), angst i suppose

+ summary : erwin was always good at this, levi thinks. people stuck to him like glue.

+ author's note : this is just a personal modern!au headcanon that i ranted to a friend abt and decided to make it full out

in modern aus i see eren as looking up to levi, bc he ooks up to him in the manga in some ways, levi cares abt his wellbeing n shit

well armin, since he was chosen to live over erwin, he'd look up to erwin in a modern au

and when erwin dies in that au bc ofc he has to die, armin is still a teenager.

i like to think that they all lived in the same town as kids, and erwin always looked out for armin since he had no one else other than his friends.

he basically lets armin live with him when he's not with eren, who also has no family and sort of couch surfs between jean and sasha - sasha's dad loves eren for whatever reason so he stays there a lot, and welcomes armin and mikasa with him - and so erwin and armin r close

and levi is always around, so he sees armin a lot, even if he takes care of eren more - he lets eren stay at is house on nights when he feels like hes overstayed his welcome at sasha’s.

but levi still cares abt armin bc he sees how erwin cares abt armin and levi is in love with the blond facebook dad

but erwin died when armin is like 15, so he still needs someone to look out for him

and erwin asks levi to do that, bc he trusts him and knows levi would take care of him just like he had

anyways, he asks levi to take care of him and levi does

but armin is a 15 yr old who just lost yet another person who cares abt him

and even tho hes grateful that levi cares for him, he misses erwin so much.

he acts out bc of it bc hes a kid going through trauma and its what kids do. he starts acting even worse than eren and eren is a fucking demon spawn

armin and eren share a room, even tho levi had two empty rooms so they could have their own, and eren has stuff in the other room but armin doesn’t like the dark so eren stays there with him.

and levi isn’t really good at taking care of kids in the traditional way.

he wakes them up every weekday for school by telling them he'll kick their ass if he has to take them himself - but he'll still drive them when it rains or its cold

he doesnt really know how to cook bc erwin always did that, but his notes app is full of recipes erwin always recommended that were easy to follow bc he was always worried that levi always ate too much cold leftovers from days before and noodles

armin knows hot to cook pretty well bc erwin taught him but he enjoys laughing at levi failing at cooking simple shit - he burned water somehow

but levi still tries so its fine

he tries letting armin know hes welcome, and that he can ask for whatever he needs

he'll leave him lunch money on the counter

and when he notices armins jackets getting a little too short around the wrist he drops a new one by his lap when he sits on the couch

he pulls the blanket all the way to his chin if he falls asleep on the couch.

he'll mention he's going to get a haircut when he notices armin's hair getting longer, and says he can go with him if he wants

but armin still acts so off.

before erwin was gone, armin always acted happy, even though he never had much, and levi feels guilty knowing he cant do what erwin did for him, but he's doing this for erwin, and knows erwin wouldnt have put armin in his care in the first place if he didn’t trust him

i see taking care of armin as the task that keeps levi going, just like how killing zeke is what keeps him alive in the anime.

both promises he makes to erwin and wont give up on until he’s fulfilled it

but one day armin just disappears. he doesnt come back after school with eren like usual. so he and levi try calling him and get nothing. eren offers to go look for him and levi tells him to stay safe n waits back home to see if armin will show up there

and he does like 5 mins after eren leaves.

and levi feels his chest just deflate with relief. it was cold outside, and armin was out there alone.

his cheeks and nose r red from being outside for so long

when levi asks where he's been, it comes out harsher than he meant, but its just bc he was worried, and armin rolls his eyes and asks why it matters

levi tells him its bc he's a kid and doesnt get to just disappear without a trace whenever he wants. levi never minded armin doing whatever he wanted - within regulation - but most times he knew eren was with him, or mikasa, someone who would call him if something happened

and armin says “you're not my father.” and starts taking off his jacket and stuff

“yeah, but i am the person who's taking care of your ass.”

and that seems to make armin a little more ticked off than he already was, bc he turns to levi and says, “well i never asked you to do that.”

to which levi replies without thinking, “no but erwin did”

levi and armin never talk abt erwin, ever.

its like an unspoken rule between them. its not that they arent as comfortable with each other - they arent anyways but - they just dont do that, talk abt how they feel abt erwin, and him being gone

armin looks like hes gonna cry before he just says “well i wish it was erwin that was still here instead of you”

ALMOST AS IF HES SAYING HE WISHED IT WAS LEVI THAT DIED INSTEADDD

and levi is suprised that armin would ever, it hurts a little, and he just nods in agreement and says “me too.”

armin doesnt say anything back to it, he just turns and makes his way to his room, slamming the door behind him

and levi is exhausted. in his head he wonders how erwin had done it - balanced college and a job and a fucking teenager

but then he remembers that erwin was erwin, and hed always been good at that type of thing

people stuck to him like glue

thats the first night he lets himself admit that he misses him

he feels like he’s failing at the one thing erwin asked of him

when eren shows back up, levi apologizes for not letting him know that armin had came back

but eren just tells him that armin had texted him when he’d arrived - i have a hc that eren and armin were each others first crushes but uhebdbsi

he tells levi that armin had said hed went to the beach

erwin used to take armin to the beach all the time before he died

he’d collect shells with him, and the ones that armin really liked, he’d give them names

he still has one called smith from the last time erwin had taken him to see the ocean

a few weeks go by after that

they never really talked before, but now it seems almost even worse

the silence that they normally exist in feels empty

but everything felt empty without erwin

eren lets levi know where theyre going to be whenever theyre not home, when theyll be home, etc

levi never asked for him to do that, but he does it anyways

levi’s thankful for the near suicidal maniac at that point

even though he always was

he saw a lot of himself in eren, and he sees a lot of himself in armin too

levi and armin never really apologize to each other, but one night when levi’s attempting to cook, armin walks in the kitchen and watches him place things on a pan

“you’re putting them too close together.”

armin steps beside him and tilts his head to the side, as if hes gesturing for levi to move

and he does, letting the younger and taller boy move the prerolled croissants further away from each other on the baking tray

“they never wouldve cooked all the way through like that,” armin tells him

with a scoff, levi mumbles that he sounds like erwin

armin pauses for a second, before sliding the pan in the oven. levi tells him how long the packaging said they went on so that he can set the oven timer

armin sets it for two minutes longer, and levi’s heart aches

erwin did that, too

“i miss him”

it slips out without him meaning for it to

and he thinks he’s ruined armin’s head again, when he’s supposed to be someone this kid can look up to

but he doesnt leave

armin just leans against the oven and nods “me, too”

after that, things arent bad anymore

sure, it takes awhile for them to completely warm up to each other, but they manage

enough that armin sits in on levi’s cooking sessions just to point out what hes doing wrong - something that helps, bc pretty soon levi is learning

he cooks him, armin, and eren an entire meal without burning anything

eren laughs when armin tells him that the man had forgotten to grab an oven mit and had stuck his entire hand in the oven to grab a pan

levi raises his eyebrow when he notices the way armin blushes at eren’s laugh, of all things

and they talk abt erwin more

they have more to say about him that eren, and its just something the two of them share, so they tend to save it for little moments, tiny snippets of things that remind them of the blond

after about a year, things are good

armin asks to have his 17th birthday at the beach, and who would levi be to say no

levi doesnt particularly like the beach, he detests sand, but its for armin, so he’ll do it

its for his kid

him and erwins kid

at the party, he finds a smile coming to his face when he sees armin actually laughing and having fun

kid had been through too much hell at 17, so he deserved to be happy, even if it was only for a few moments

on their way home that evening, eren and armin passed out from a day of swimming and running on the beach - levi made the both of them bring extra towels to save his car seats from salt water and sand

eren’s head is on armin’s shoulder, and the blond’s is resting atop eren’s head

when they get home, the two of them trudge towards their room, but armin turns and holds his closed fist out to levi

with a raised eyebrow, levi holds his hand out and lets armin drop something into his hand, before the boy pivots and continues his shuffle to his and eren’s shared room

levi glances down at the object in his hand

its a shell

armin names it erwin

#attack on titan imagine #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #erwin smith #levi ackerman #armin arlert #eren yeager #snk imagine #aot imagine #shingeki no kyojin imagine #eruri #eremin #aot headcanon #snk headcanon #hc

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misterbitches · 3 years

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i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST

that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her

i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.

just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.

age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?

i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing

we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute.

what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao

i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill

im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)

oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.

people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power.

every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots

#i am soooooo #history 4 #history 4: close to you #history 3 #history 3: make our days count

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seijch · 4 years

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bitches make one post about suna in the smoke grays and suddenly it turns into a full round of headcanons...

content warning. drug use (vaping)

TERUSHIMA: man i swear do NOT put this man on the aux!!!!!! some ppl do not believe in paying for a streaming service and i hate to break it to you but yuuji is one of them,,, Want A Break From The Ads? If You Tap Now To Watch A Short Video, You’ll Receive Thirty Minutes Of Ad Free Music type beat... its not even worth it at this point 🤮🤮🤮 his pre-work fits always go hard. shops exclusively on stockx and buys apparel from the store if he fucks w it (and when it goes on sale ... original retail price kinda expensive tho). surprisingly good w the elderly? no one expects it from him but he ALWAYS gets compliments from them and no one else ever wants to deal w the crabby old people so they send him in for a quick and easy sale 🤝🏻

SUNA: ALWAYS vaping in the back. if youre near him in the stockroom hell blow the smoke in your face. punch him. do it. this is the aisle where there are no cameras. BIG sneakerhead but doesnt like to answer questions nskdfsd you could b asking him if a shoe is good for running nd he hits you w that “idk i just work here” and WALKS AWAY. like i KNOW you work here bitch thats the fucking point!!!! his shoe game is always on point so he always gets questions since people think he knows what hes talking abt (he does,, But 😐😐😐)

SHIRABU: at the register. designated cashier, only here because tuition does NOT pay itself... air max supremacist; owns three pairs of air max 270s in the most BASIC colorways 😐 judges customers when they walk in. if he sees someone trying to fake flex he WILL gag. once saw a man and his son with the toyota logo hanging from their matching gold chains and hasnt recovered since.

KOGANEGAWA: gets LOST in the stockroom and is always 🧍‍♂️ when he does. compliments the scent of whatever flavor puff bar suna blows into his face. isnt in the work gc when he first gets hired bc he has an android NJKSDSA but eventually upgrades and is welcomed in (but overuses animojis unironically.....baby please youre embarrassing us). absolute king. one of the best sellers on the floor during back to school season; the mans a high-five machine!! the kids love him. (as they should!)

ATSUMU: gets confused for yuuji from behind a LOT and bitch if this doesnt PISS HIM OFF!!!!!!! youd rlly think that having another person out there w the same exact face as you would train you to handle this shit better but guess not bc tsumu gets SO mad he stomps off to the back and has to 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ for a bit..... osamu works at the food place two doors down and tells all the cashiers to make him pay full price, fuck a mall discount SDJAKDA there are too many pictures on his ig story of him and suna (reluctantly taken by aran) holding shoes to their ears like theyre the latest iphone. someone stop them before i reach thru the screen and shit in their shoes.

KINDAICHI: originally started working just to make money and knew NOTHING about shoes but bitch did he get INTO IT!!!! yeezy or bust, baby!!!!!! his go to work shoes are the tail lights but he also owns the desert sages (among others). his bank acc is NOT HAPPY,,, homie spends more money than he makes at his shitty minimum wage job 😭 once he learned the Shoe Lore he rlly came into his own as a solid seller but i would not be lying if i said before then he was on stock duty ....

ARAN: mvp of the store!!! gets along w the kids, gets along w the older folks, can hold a conversation w the sneakerheads, you name it hes got it !!!!!! on track to become an assistant manager if he so chooses -- the manager is alr begging him to come on full time but he doesnt wanna tie himself down to a life of selling shoes, yk? has people coming to the store just to see HIM like its a fucking host club. admittedly not as into shoes as someone like suna or tanaka,, definitely knows how to appreciate a Good Shoe but is halfway between a casual and a Full Sneakerhead tbh...

TANAKA: you wouldnt believe it but he is the KING of shoecare, both in usage and in sales! doesnt care as much when it comes to his regular old volleyball asics but when hes at work or out on the town? the flex is honestly UNREAL...catch him slacking, i dare you. shits on anyone who buys a team jordan like ,,, ok gatekeeper! his collection of retro jordans reaches almost concerning levels and refuses to sell any of them. he hasnt worn a good third of them, either (hes waiting for That Moment, whatever the fuck THAT means). only slightly above terushima when it comes to aux privileges. (theres also a video of him in the stockroom wearing nothing but booty shorts at the top of a ladder lipsyncing the lyrics to chandelier by sia. dont ask.)

BOKUTO: THE customer service guy. he spends small amounts of money like nobodys business but is lowkey scared of big purchases... drops $15 for food eight times a week like its nothing but wont buy a pair of $180 shoes... ok. as a result his collection is nowhere near as big as some of the other guys but he treasures them all and takes very good care of them!!! knows JUST what to say to warm any kind of customer up to him (gets hit on a lot, much to the dismay of tanaka nd yuuji)... also has a lot of former customers recognize him (its the hair) and he just has to go 😃 haha hey! every time.

NISHINOYA: whenever he cant reach smth and needs to be out on the floor asap he can and WILL climb up the shelves of the stockroom like a fucking MONKEY NKSFSN 😭😭😭 the authority when it comes to shoes for running, hiking, the gym, etc. if its outdoors leave it to him! had a pair of 270s but the bubble POPPED the one time he used the ladders as he came down..........hes literally traumatized and ALWAYS brings it up whenever he shares a shift w shirabu (who has since asked to not be scheduled w noya due to a “difference in beliefs” MSFSDS)

FUTAKUCHI: ive said it before but hes one of Those People thats worked half the stores in the damn mall so he was hired as a cashier during the holiday szn and left the company a few months later. youd think hed get along w fellow cashier shirabu but 😃 the manager avoids scheduling them together unless the stores gonna be busy bc one of them is gonna wanna use “the better register” and get mad when the other claims it first .... like theyre both FUNCTIONAL arent they??? 😭😭 does NOT give a shit abt shoes!!! never even learned the stockroom, just kinda figured it out as he went along...whenever someone asks him for their size in a shoe he hands it off to someone on the floor unless he cant avoid it (but believe it or not he will always give that person the sale...unless its suna bc he knows suna doesnt give a fuck)

@wackatoshi jic you dont see it when it drops 😚😚

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inkerii · 4 years

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Well, guess its time to take a (forced) break from Wolvden. Which is a shame, really, because I dont wanna do that.

the thing is, Wolvden is NOT a casual player's game. Either you have the time to dedicate to it or tough luck. I've been consistently playing since early access, and I was doing just fine. After I graduated med school? I got a job in which I work odd hours at an ER. Either I'm there or I'm asleep because its really freaking exhausting. Logging in just to check on your wolves doesnt cut it here. I dont have time to hunt enough food, I dont have enough time to explore enough for food and items. My hunters left because they were not properly taken care of, and though I was gifted a new hunting team (thanks, Cerby!), their synergy is ofc 0% and I dont have time to do more than 3 hunts a day, if I'm lucky (normally its just one or two). Ofc they only catch critters, if they do. The explore encounters that gave you large carcasses in locations that are easier to unlock (ie the prairie chicken), which were literally keeping me alive in this game, were nerfed.

I lost about eight wolves in the past few days, and while most of them are temporary NBWs while my pups grew up, at least three were keepers- thats not counting the puppy from my first litter that I was going to keep that died bc I had a back to back day and night shift so I didnt get the chance to feed properly and thought I did. One of them is already gone for good, because SC is hard to get in this bloody game, and 100sc is a steep price in Wolvden, one I managed to get back because the snake blessed me with an easier quest. Still one to go, and I still need 50sc to do it-- which I cant get because guess what, I'm out of items to sell to the raccoon.

This is why I'm terrified of Lioden implementing stuff like the hunting update. I already barely play there, but I dont wanna have to leave for good. I dont wanna have to stop playing wolvden either, but at least in LD you can have a consistent casual experience. Your hunters can catch enough food for a day if you do 2-3 hunts. Explore gives you carcasses that both have a lot of uses and fill a lot of hunger. Amusement items arent hard to get. If your lions run off, chances are you have enough items to sell to the monkey to get them back-- and 200sb is really not a big deal to get. You have a week to get them back, not 3 days. You can unlock adult slots easily-- which allows you have a full hunting team, etc.

point is: I'm tired and frustrated, bc work is stressful and wolvden was SUPPOSED to be a place I could relax. Except its only adding to the anxiety. I'm gonna hopefully do another snake quest tomorrow to get my runaway wolf, and then I'm taking what will probably be an indefinite break. Between work and a pet site, work obviously wins.

Normally I dont rant here about this kind of stuff, but Wolvden has no place where we can make suggestions yet. I know LD and WD are different games, but I really hope the staff can make it an easier experience for casual players. Even if there's a sudden spike in difficulty if you really wanna make money, just being able to play casually with a pack of 10-ish adults (ya know, a hunting team, scouts, herbalist and two pupsitters, which really arent enough for the puppies a pack like this would get) and a few pups would be nice.

#wolvden #lioden #I'm really upset because I DONT WANNA DO THIS #but I really cant #I dont want to loose more of my doggos #I love them so much #and I love the gameplay #but I just dont have the time WD requires of its players #its just not a casual game at all #well #guess I'm gonna have to go back to flight rising #bless FR really #inke speaks #inke rants

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 2)

Also on AO3!

TW: Child Abuse (all kinds implied, explicit verbal and physical abuse), implied CSA

TL;DR:

Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.

Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.

But with the end of a symbol come the end of the hurt.

Starting with I-Island Expo

mellissa calls them over like canon, shouto basically demands he gets endeavours spot. aizawa and yamada go too, mostly because yamada was going there for his show and they heard whispers of all might, and were worried about a possible izuku attending so aizawa went as a plus one

the other kids are there for the same reason, but other than scissors paper rock for the tickets it was a tournament brawl because ochako demanded combat.

she won, of course

anyway, they meet up w david and melissa, and izuku and her go explore the expo when melissa tells izuku shes quirkless he just give her the strangest look, and she's a little confused

i-island was a very chill attitude towards quirks. if you have one, cool, but they aren't useful to the inventors so its nbd if you don’t. and she says ab how she's a researcher and all the and he just looks at her like shes speaking gibberish

"they,,, they let you?"

and melissa looks dumbfounded "obviously? i mean, my grades are good enough?"

and izuku just start to cry. melissa is panicking bc she's already adopted this little hero as her little cousin because he's basically uncle might's kid. she like, hides him away in a corner and tries to understand what's wrong

and all she can get out of this crying kid is

"i used to be quirkless" and "don't tell all might"

she gives him a big hug and he talks ab how he was treated in middle school, and about how he hasn't told anyone in ua. she asks why he said don't tell all might and he murmurs that allmight doesn't think is very befitting of a hero to cry

deep down that doesn't sound right to her. but she only nods, hands him a tissue and they giggle about it behind a fancy model car

back in the office david and all might are talking

all might tells david that he knows his quirk is fading but it's ok, because he's training a successor and izuku is going to be perfect. that sounds ok to david. he's warmed by the total faith all might seems to have in his student, and the close relationship they must have to call him by his first name

all might confesses he’s looking forward to retiring and nurturing his student and david calls off the whole heist (well. he tries to. not that they listen.)

so Yamada and Aizawa are walking around the showroom floor and they see a "i was just crying but im trying to hide it and going an ok job" izuku with some random fucking blonde girl and they s w o o p in bc these are some worried dads

basically Yamada keeps her busy while aizawa says "oh i have to talk to you ab something" izuku goes over to aizawa and hes freaking the fuck out quietly. aizawa just leans down to look him in the eye

"you ok, kid?"

and izuku is confused

"what do you mean?"

"you looked a little upset back there, do you know that girl? is she,,, doing anything? to you?"

and izuku feels all warm and fuzzy inside and smiles at his teacher bc aizawa cares!! ab him!!

"no sensei, shes all mights kind-of-niece, she was just showing me around the expo"

and aizawa winces a little at the all might comment but what can he do

"well, don't forget you can talk to me, ok? i know i gave you my number on an emergency basis but i also want you to know your definition of an emergency is terrible. just call whenever you want"

melissa, bc she understands social cues unlike izuku, and also bc shes fucking 18 looks at yamada and says "what's wrong?" and yamada feels all the force of an 18-year-old girls glare of "ive adopted this kid and ill kick you for him"

"just worried about the little listener is all, he looked a little down"

melissa just sighs and nods

"yeah."

yamada expects her to continue but she doesn't. they both just kinda fiddle around with some random buttons until aizawa brings izuku back, who looks significantly cheerier now. melissa declares lunch is on her and that the teachers are coming too

aizawa and yamada try to wiggle their way out of it, until izuku also tries to so they all double down on going to lunch and izuku gets dragged along

when they get there he's fretting ab what won't ruin his diet plan, and aizawa and yamada feel bad. melissa just tells him to get what he wants

"but i dont want to upset-. i should be sticking to my diet plan though."

aizawa loudly declares hes getting a chocolate sundae and pork cutlet sandwiches. melissa, equally loudly, decides on carbonara. yamada fumbles for a bit looking for something unhealthy because hes a mess, finally finds a chicken karrage bowl and points at it like hes very proud of himself

melissa loses her shit laughing, izuku just giggles softly and aizawa fuckn snorts at the crestfallen look on yamada

izuku quietly asks if getting katsudon would be ok and melissa just looks into his eyes

"izuku i would kill a man for you of course pork katudon is ok"

anyway, the other students turn up, and momo shouts them all food, ochako proudly declares herself the winner of a fighting tournament and aizawa just slumps in his chair

"if i didnt hear that, you dont get detention for using your quirks without supervision"

and ochako just smiles with a scary amount of teeth

"who said we used quirks, sensei?"

and ochako proudly shows off the bruise on her upper arm where jirou punched her and jirou is whining bc she has a foot shaped imprint in her stomach s t i l l from the last round

everyone is talking n shooting the shit. it strikes the kids (and the teachers) a little weird that izuku is in his hero costume (the only other person there in costume is yamada, who is representing his agency. aizawa is in free dress but also his scarf bc he wanted to ask how the fuck it was made) but they just kinda, don't mention it

anyway, the bit w the quirk display

they hound aizawa into doing it, and he makes time pretty similar to bakugo and everyone is cheering for him and he's trying very hard to maintain his "im a professional hero not a dad getting cheered on by his stupid kids"

yamada wants to do it, but aizawa won't let him bc people need their ears

all the hero kids give it a go, including ochako, jirou, momo, etc. izuku (who at this point is like at 10%ish full cowl) makes time tied w Todoroki and izuku is talking ab how amazing todoroki is, and tenya chimes in with "you are quite amazing as well!" and midoriya blushes so hard he looks like a strawberry. he is very very flustered and keeps trying to deny it

eventually, everyone piles on the compliments (even katsuki bc this is the most fun hes had in ages) until izuku gets so flustered he hides behind aizawa like "you won't do this to me right?"

aizawa fuckn ruffles his hair and says "you're a good kid"

izuku just cries but he's smiling so wide everyone knows he's happy

so its the night of the party

izuku is dressed to the nines and he's sad ab it bc he wanted to wear something cheery and bright but instead he was dressed in a charcoal black suit, vest and a dark red tie. black shoes too

the one bit of cheer he shoved in were some red laces bc all might didn't mind them bc he was so "good" ab the suit fitting and the poking and prodding so he wears the bright red laces and he's very happy ab them

all might is in his hero costume, and he's very proud of the fact he and izuku match like a pair with the same shade of red bc that's his successor! his boy! all might tells izuku he can wait outside for the rest of the kids to show up and izuku is so happy! so he thanks allmight a lot more than he needs to and waits outside the door (all might was early to the event bc he needed to schmooze)

aizawa and yamada come later to a surprisingly well dressed izuku waiting patiently off to the side

they ask him why he's out there and he happily chirps that he's waiting for the other students that attended, they smile at him and walk in . all might sends them a glare from across the floor that aizawa returns just as spitefully

anyway, iida texts that he's stuck out the front bc the door won't open so he scrambles over to let iida and, apparently ochako as well, in (for the purposes of this au, todoroki, iida, ochako, izuku and melissa are the only ones of the kids at the beginning, todoroki's melodramatic entrance is stolen by jirou and momo. no mineta or kami bc they just,,, arent there lmao)

so the doors slam shut and melissa is like "wtf wtf" and the announcement sounds. they pile up the stair to look down to the dining room, teachers and other heroes tied up

the kids know a bit of sign from various hero class training bits by aizawa and "fun facts" by mic

so they brokenly sign to allmight and aizawa (the only teachers that can see them) that they are going to fix this

all might nods

aizawa looks panicked. these are kids. his kids. they shouldn't have to fight people with fucking guns

izuku says "ill keep them safe" and aizawa wants to cry because he believes him, but who'll keep izuku safe

so iida starts on his whole "we cant use quirks" speech before melissa can even remind them ab i islands quirk laws, izuku just murmurs

"all might gave me permission to fight. it'll be ok."

melissa freezes bc,,, she knows adults shouldn't be letting these kids fight, even if that's exactly what she's going to help them do. she mentions the quirk law anyway

now todoroki is pissed at all might but the bitch was gonna fight anyway. ochako is 100% roaring for a showdown

now they are,, a little more cautious. bc they are a smaller group here but izuku is like double the power so its not realllllyy an issue. the middle fight happens, they gain the wlw and mlm solidarity pairs (Jirou + Momo, Kirishima + Bakugo)

then pretty quickly lose bakugo and momo for a hot minute as they stay to finish up the fight while sending the others on

oh izuku totally has the punchy punchy thing from melissa i just forgot to mention it

so, bc melissa's dad didnt actually,, want in on it this time he's fighting back. he's stalling, pleading, backchatting; everything he can do to give someone a chance to fix his fuck up before it kills someone

so melissa and izuku make it to the top of the tower

izuku has been at shot more times than he's really happy about, just he has nothing more than a few grazes. melissa has a nasty bruise on her face and a cut on her arm from where she redirected a blow that would have stabbed izuku

the villain is talking ab how this was David's idea, and he's trying to explain to the kids that he's sorry, this was a mistake. he tried to call it off but they wouldn't stop. at this point he is totally away these people are real criminals and has been since the heist began

he's trying to convince them to run because as proud as all might is of izuku, and as proud of melissa he is, they are to young. they don't deserve this

izuku takes out the goons but the villain has already escaped with david and the quirk enhancer

izuku promises melissa he'll keep her dad safe and shes left in the control room crying alone because who'll protect the kid that's been nothing but kind and gentle yet has the weight of the world on his shoulders

also just an fyi bc you needed to know- melissa is down her heels and she lost her hairpin when she stabbed someone with it, she threw her heels at a villain too bc she was running out of ideas. melissa literally tied her hair in a big knot so she could fucking see

izuku is down a jacket - threw it over someone's head then punched them and his waistcoat is unbuttoned bc he need to punch. his hair is going fucking hog wild, even in the tighter clip yagi likes it kept in

anyway, when the alarms go off, all might fucking rockets to the roof and aizawa is fuming bc those are his fucking kids too

he and yamada have to take the goddamn elevator to the roof. its certainly not a slow elevator but aizawa is so fucking tense. yamada isn't much better

all might won't let them fight. he hands david and melissa off to them and tells them he and izuku will handle wolfram and aizawa is so pissed bc izuku is on his last fucking legs here

aizawas quirk doesn't work w the enhancer so he admits there isn't much he can do, but yamada is perfect here. but all might won't move out of the way long enough for mic to let his quirk go. honestly, hed be tempted to do it anyway if not for izuku also being there

anyway, all might and izuku do their lil double detroit smash and its all very sweet

kind of

bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine and aizawa sees izuku with small might again and wonders why, why do they know each other?

yamada and aizawa feel vaguely ill when izuku and all might return to their shared hotel room after all might grabs a few bandages and alcohol wipes from a first aid kit. bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine

aizawa and yamada stay with the kids, trying to cheer them up and bandaging wounds that don't need urgent medical care. melissa is just blankly watching out the door izuku left through

"why didn't they stay?"

aizawa just aggressively tightens the bandage around his sliced up arm. todoroki looks pissed. iida just kind of looks down

"im not sure, melissa. im... im not sure"

the next morning, as aizawa and yamada stumble downstairs to eat shitty hotel breakfast food, yamada glances out the window and looks like he's about to cry bc izuku, still battered and bruised, is stepping out of the gym over the road. its only 7am

they basically pounce on the kid and drag him to breakfast, where they find out he has been training since 5 and hasn't eaten yet and he's fucking, sheepish about it

"i got up a little late, so i just to my light routine for the morning, ill have to make up the time a little later"

aizawa just shoves pastries at his kid. izuku tries to stammer out that they arent part of his diet but,,, they look really nice and he's really hungry and stressed,,, and he caves pretty quick

so aizawa yamada and izuku are sitting around a table, both of his teachers arent totally human until they've had a coffee so izuku is happily babbling about some new hero teach he saw as aizawa grunts in affirmation

allmight shows up and izuku blanches. aizawa and yamada are a little too tired to realise until yagi is already over by the table. izuku quietly puts down the pastry and just cringes into himself

"im,,, im really sorry. i - i just"

"i got it for him" aizawa says totally deadpan as he slams back a whole ass cup of coffee

deep down inside he did it to flex on mister "i have no stomach so im not allowed caffeine"

all might sighs and gently chides izuku for not sticking to his diet plan. izuku nods miserably and excuses himself back to the room to 'get changed out of his sweaty clothes'

yagi sits and eats breakfast with aizawa and yamada as they try to understand what,,, what exactly happened there. it hurts both of them because they aren't sure what all mights doing

mic has seen one instance of something nasty going on, but other than that its just been a collection of terrible vibes

Training Camp Time Baby.

after that total clusterfuck of an event training camps still on

all might wants to go but nezu no sells him bc "you literally attract villains, all might" and like bitch is smart, he knows something is up. he's not sure what yet, but he's working on it

all might gives aizawa a personalised training schedule for izuku that he takes one look at and throws it out the fucking window

basically all might goes as "all might's secretary" to monoma

"very worried about my boy, and i think aizawa is training him too hard, could you please give me a run down on what happens each day?"

monoma, starry-eyed: of course all might

and there is this little,,, list of things he doesn't want izuku doing and he phrases them in ways that make it seem like he's being perfectly reasonable. like allergies or bad habits izuku is trying to break or whatever. izuku has to tell all might what happens at the end of every day anyway

all might,,, wants hourly updates,,,, but he realises that's not going to happen w aizawa's deep hatred of students on cellphones lmao

he hears izuku mentioning to todoroki that "yagi" wants to know what's happening at the camp and that he's excited to talk to his mentor about all the training they do. and aizawa is caught between wanting to find some bullshit reason to take izukus phone, or just pretending he didn't hear that bc who knows how much trouble not answering yagi could get him in

he makes an announcement that cellphones are to be on mute for the duration of the camp anyway.

yagi wanted to go on the camp, aizawa wouldn't let him, monoma is yagis mole etc we have covered this

in this au the league never latched on to bakugo, it's izuku that shigiraki wants, but to backtrack

getting off the bus its funny in a sad way bc izuku was so prepared to get hit by one of the teachers "training" them at any time he dodges the landslide

they all just kinda sit there for a second, stunned. izuku sighs quietly and jumps after his classmates

anyway so, they get to the camp a lil faster bc izuku is More Powerful, izuku (bc hes faster than iida on uneven ground) runs shinsou to the campground, they mind control pixiebob to stop the earthbeasts then run back to show the rest of 1A the way out

they get there in 2 hours

aizawa is very proud of his boy for thinking of that! and he ruffles izukus hair and its cute

in this au izuku isn't confident enough to say hi to kouta, but he waves. kouta just glares at him and he hides behind iida

they do a little extra training because 1A finished the earth beast thing so fast, half of the training is all of 1A trying to stop Izuku from going overboard. they get a little,,, disturbed when they realise just how long izuku can train without visibly breaking a sweat

they go to chill in the baths and iida sees izuku walking out of the changing rooms and freezes

because he's c o v e r e d in hand-shaped bruises

he tries not to react bc he doesn't want izuku to be uncomfortable and change his mind ab hanging in the bath w all of them

kaminari goes to say something and kirishima just fucking pulls him under the water before he can say anything, mineta is socially aware enough to not open his fucking mouth

they chat n izuku can kinda,,, tell,,, something is wrong but most of the bruises are places he can't see/doesn't look, like his shoulders, hips, back, back of his legs

and the ones on his wrist he just kinda brushes off bc he's still convinced this is normal. the thing w mineta happens, izuku helps kouta, iida comes with him to give him to the wild wild pussycats

and pixiebob looks like she wants to say something bc who is hurting this kid? and iida just catches her eyes and he looks so worried. she keeps her mouth shut, but makes sure to mention it to aizawa. she feels terrible when aizawa just curses and pulls his hair in frustration

anyway, 1B shows up and its hilarious bc 1A is going hog fucking wild other than izuku, aizawa is forcing izuku to learn to cook

so bakugo is screaming and blowing shit up, todoroki is in a fucking barrel, iida is running like afo is chasing him and aizawa is patiently showing izuku how to scramble eegs

monoma is losing his fucking mind

but yeah aizawa and izuku are sitting in front of a little stove w their legs crossed, izuku is trying to cut tomatoes and aizawa is supervising. they are making breakfast for 1A. slowly. all of 1A is being very careful to not disturb them, so there is this little bubble of calm around the egg station

"why,,, why arent i training?"

and aizawa fucking pauses

"this is training, keep up problem child."

and izuku looks so fucking lost but the eggs smell good and he gets to cook the bacon next. each part of the fucking breakfast is cold by the time 1A gets to eat it bc izuku was cooking it 1 by 1, little portions at a time

everyone just tells him its fucking wonderful

he joins in training after breakfast, ragdoll is placed on "izuku watching duty" which izuku has 0 clue about. if he gets hurt/sore/too tired someone gets sent over to get him to do something else

when she looks at him the first time she wants to cry bc,,, he's not tired, he's more rested than he's been in ages. but the places that hurt, before hes even been training, are sending blaring alarm bells in her brain

anyway, its amusing bc everyone is 'going beyond' and they are just trying to get izuku back so they can know what is 'going beyond' and what is 'going so far beyond how are you still moving'

everyone is fucking wiped and izuku is like 'this is the easiest training ive had in months what' and aizawas want to yell bc while hes being soft on izuku, they arent taking his training lightly, and this is easy?

he gives the curry to kouta like the show, they all go to sleep

izuku has a nightmare and shouto - the only person not asleep - tries not to hear the things he's saying. he can't hear much, but he wishes he hadn't heard anything. anyway at least they all wake up well-rested

unfortunately in this au the villains actually have a half-decent plan, and fucking, communicators -which isn't great for the kids

so muscular sees izuku and is like "oi compress move your arse over here" while he tries to kill kouta. so we get the joy of izuku saving kouta, getting him to aizawa and just as he hands over the kid, compress takes izuku and kouta just starts to cry

"izuku is kidnapped" time is a ride

the only thing they give him is a set of quirk suppressors and dont give him a key to get out of the bar. they are about as nice to him as they are to each other, a little softer on him bc he's young and they pretty much know what's happening to him

like, he gets out of compresses marble and he's panicking and crying, dabi just crouches down next to him and rubs his back, asks him if he's gonna be ok

shigiraki is trying to convince izuku to join then and his face just kinda falls when he sees izuku looking resistant

"you,,, you don't know that what he’s doing to you is wrong, do you."

and izuku looks like a deer in the headlights

"what do you mean? no ones- nothings- nothings wrong."

dabi just sits on a chair bc he knows where this is going and he doesn't like it. shigiraki looks at izuku

"if its not wrong, then tell me about it"

and izuku clams right up

ok but afo wants to talk to izuku. in this au he has literally 0 beef with the kid

he has only so much beef with the ofa users in general and he's typically pretty soft on them for being part of his brothers legacy, as soft as he can make killing them if they won't stop getting in his way, but still

but he hates allmight so fucking much and he's never been totally sure why

anyway, he asks to talk w izuku and this kid is shaking like a leaf and afo tells him

"you are a child. i have no intention of hurting you, i just want to know what all might has done to you."

"hes not done anything bad, i swear!"

"then why don't you tell me about it?"

izuku sits there quietly and afo feels just generally disgusted with humanity tbh

"how did you two meet?" izuku slowly opens up about the day they first met, and afo feels a stab of empathy for izuku, because being quirkless now is pretty comparable to being quirked before, afo doesnt interject beyond nods and encouraging him to keep going

but eventually, izuku totally clams up, starts crying and can't say anything else. afo wishes he didnt look as scary as he did because he wants to give the kid a hug. he calls tomura to take him back to the bar and get him something to eat

it gets to the point that all of the villains are super fucking soft for izuku. he's very nice, treats them well, and has seen some horrific shit

so when all might shows up to "rescue" him, they close ranks. they don't even pressure him to become a villain, because each of them has felt society push them into boxes they didn't want, and they don't want to do that to izuku

anyway, they get to kamino bc the usual fuckery, and izuku is just stranded behind villains crying and looking ill

the rescue squad : bakugo, todoroki, ochako, kirishima, iida, and one stubborn shinso that befriended the hero departments resident nervous wreck

they look across the field and they feel ill because izuku looks sick. but they feel a little better when twice gives him a bit of a hug.

confilcted, but better

they see afo talking to him gently but quickly, gesturing both to the villains and to the section of wall the rescue squad is hidden behind. izuku tearfully points to the wall, afo nods, ruffles his hair, and goes to send him off when all might rockets in

basically afo has looked at izuku and thought "wow he's me but a good person" and thinks he's what his little brother would want a hero to be, so, while he's very much going to continue his villainous thing, he's going to go out of his way to avoid hurting izuku bc this kid is what his little brother wanted OFA to be

and allmight is exactly what he would have hated

so, all might takes a step forward to drag izuku, the villains push him behind them

dabi is basically saying something along the lines of

"so does being in the top ten require you to be a total dick, or is it just a running theme?"

"give him back"

"why all might, izuku is his own person."

"izuku, get over here, now."

izuku lets out a sob and vaults over the villains, hiding behind allmight and all might looks horrifically smug. izuku whispers something to all might, but all might shakes his head (he was asking if he could run away)

the fight begins

a few reasons he won't let him leave:

its punishment for being 'weak' enough to get kidnapped

its backup if afo gets the better of his because hes made sure izuku is more than a force to be reckoned with

he wants to know what dabi ment and hes very read to ask izuku ab it

izuku is honestly shaking like a leaf, quirk going bonkers and he can't turn it off. the rescue squad does its thing, and their hearts break when they see izuku look at them tearfully and shake his head

they all hide in the crowd and cry as they watch the fight go on, izuku shakily pulling people from the rubble in the background. when hes gotten all of the people free he can, izuku kind of runs out of reasons he isnt actively helping allmight. he grits his teeth and dives into the fight with the other villains

hes trying to keep them away from all might and they all look heartbroken ab having to fight him dabi is saying something along the lines of "we know he hurt you, but how? why?" and izuku is just crying

all might can hear this too

izuku actually misses a few kicks and punches bc his eyes are too filled with tears, but the villains are careful not to hurt him too much. they just want to get him down and out of the fight, but as uninjured as possible

but that's a little fucking difficult when compress and kurogiri are down for the count and everyone else has nasty death quirks

eventually, it gets to the point that trying not to hurt the other villains is only hindering afo, and all might is pulling exactly 0 punches with izuku present, so afo teleports the villains away, they feel bad ab leaving izuku behind but there is no way this little hero would go with them. they know that now

afo goes to deal the final blow to all might, izuku just moves

cant stop himself from planting himself between them and trying desperately to catch the punch. hes hurt, badly. but he's not as dead as all might would have been

there is a vicious edge to all might’s smile as izuku is blown across the battlefield, and lays there w/o moving

afo feels sick, all might just looks pleased

"ive done pretty well wouldn't you say?"

afo just stares at him

"ive created the perfect hero. selfless down to the last breath, filled with overwhelming power and determination."

"he's flawless. isn't he."

afo wants to gag

"so, in creating your 'perfect hero', you find it acceptable to sacrifice your own humanity?"

"absolutely"

(all mights been small might for this conversation i just forgot to mention it l m a o )

they exchange their final blows

izuku shakily gets up from where he lays crumpled on the ground and staggers over to all might, where he stands victorious over afo

iida, todoroki, shinsou, Bakugo, the people who have seen what yagi has done to izuku and how he has treated him are now slapped with the realisation that the number one hero and the person hurting their best friend are one and the same

shinsou punches a wall, bakugo looks like he's about to be sick. iida and todoroki look shell shocked. ochako is just lost and confused

all might wraps izuku is a hug, where izuku hides his sobbing face. all might whispers something in izukus ear, not that the cameras can pick it up

"come on now, heroes don't cry."

izuku takes a breath, wipes away his tears and steps back. All might rests a hand on his shoulder and looks into his eyes, and loud enough for the cameras to pick up and announces

"you're next."

izuku nods solemnly

in the back of a conference room, vlad watches as aizawa goes deathly pale in realisation. at ua, nezu watches on with a degree on concern. at the hospital, the clueless members of 1A cheer. those who know more feel nervous, those who know the most feel sick.

the internet goes fucking bonkers. all might transformed, defeated a crazy villain, and literally declared his successor live on television

izuku and all might end up in the same hospital room, and all might,,, allmight.. ye.

anyway, the kids from the rescue attempt call aizawa over and over and over. every teacher, student, pro

any hero of ua staff they have anyway of contacting, begging to find out where izuku is right now. aizawa would tell them if he wasn't going exactly the same thing himself

eventually recovery girl calls him and he hightails his way over. fyi inko isn't there bc shes passed out drunk at home uwu

he bursts into the hospital room with as much dignity as he could possibly have and it's not really very much. doctors are hovering around, stitching wounds, taking blood, and watching an ecg pretty closely (they felt the room for a minute and izukus started going crazy, so they thought something may have happened to his heart)

the amount izuku perks up when he sees aizawa is heartbreaking he rushes over and immediately starts looking him over, apologising and telling him he's brave and that he's sorry he couldn't be there to help and izuku tears up. all might is glaring a hole in his back but aizawa doesnt give a shit right now, his kid basically go taken by the boogeyman and his unstable son, then has a target painted on his back on live tv. aizawa gives 0 shits ab all might right now

izuku just looks stunned, and then he lets out a watery giggle

"you shaved, sensei."

and aizawa is caught between crying and laughing. gently asks izuku if he can give him a hug, and izuku looks so shocked he was asked aizawa heart breaks again. izuku nods shyly and gets a Good Dad Hug

aizawa stays until izuku falls asleep, then he rounds on all might

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he looked more afraid to be stood next to you than a man who has killed countless. Whatever you did, you won’t be doing it again.”

All might goes to say something, anything, but aizawa grabs him by the front of his hero costume

Aizawa tells him in no uncertain terms that he’ll never be alone in a room with izuku again for as long as he lives.

And with that, he storms out, leaving all might to stew.

#bnha au #bnha #dont praise the all mighty #aizawa shouta #midoriya izuku #all might #eraserhead #izuku #shinso hitoshi #bakugou katsuki #AFO #David Shield #melissa shield #todoroki shouto #uraraka ochako #Iida Tenya #midoriya #villain all might #tw child abuse

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brinesystem · 4 years

Text

man

lifes bittersweet

and im gonna go on a rant? but like, a happy one???? idk man

ill put it under a cut or somethin

uh warning for like trauma mentions, if you skip the first half which is all like solid paragraphs you should be able to move right over it.

okay, so for a summary of my life real quick, and this will be p quick...

born, had no dad, lived in DC when 9/11 hit (like, walking distance to everything, IN the city DC), gained a marine dad, moved around on bases a lot, found out that im autistic and have adhd, bullied a lot in school, moved around more, got two sisters, bullied OUT of middle school, re entered a new school, bullied there too, and tHEN my memory actually starts, cause i started existing in hs?

hs also sucked though? and i was abused and became a csa/grooming victim but only online so i feel weird even taking that label, but i AM one in the end? and was so young somehow??? tbh its worse than im putting it but this is the quick version. was abused more emotionally/verbally, physically threatened at home and bullied in school right? almost lost our house too cause we were MAJORLY BROKE. Like, SUPER badly broke.

We get out of there, my mum actually gets our dad to knock it off, i fail out of hs because they changed the grading rules MID-YEAR and didnt tell me until it was too late to fix my grades for it.

cue mental breakdown, which included losing the ability to read for years, and trauma processing, etc etc. this also includes me becoming disabled, because prior to that, i actually wasnt???? i had some issues, but i wasnt disabled. now i am.

got a service dog, the dad ruined that too because he scared him a lot as a puppy and when we finally got to get him to Stop Doing That, it was too late. then the dog gets attacked twice. in home service dog only i guess now.

and then i realise, “oh fuck wait i have did”

forget about it for a year, realised/remembered it like last year and finally start doing some work with the system, finds out ive basically been fronting for like, 10 years straight at this point. only this year managed to let alters other than Fae front more, because i knew about Fae for years? but i didnt know he was an alter?????? look im dumb okay its fine.

anyways.

point is that like, i dont REMEMBER most of this? this summary type shit is what i remember, and then everything else is either a blackout, or just... blurry.

like theres some details and whatever but its mostly just snapshots, and then before hs theres even less blurry and less snapshots and its mostly just black space.

but.

im here?

like, were all here.

my system, we made it. and were alive?

like, none of us thought wed live to 20 but here i am at 24 and im actually usually happy????

its not been EASY at all, but like... i dont know?

my systems my family and i adore them more than i can put into words. the ‘scary’ ones? love them. im not afraid of them because theyre here and in our system with me and are here to help. ones been helping for longer than ive existed, like??? thats amazing? good job???? fuck.

anyways.

we werent doing okay for a long time, and then we split a lot during trauma processing pt.1 because like. no therapist. i dont recommend doing that btw dont trauma process without a therapist its not worth it.

but like.

a lot changed and i know i split shit and lost some of the memories i used to have. i KNOW that happened, because i remember remembering things that i cant recall now.

which is a weird feeling but im sure you get it.

but like.

im glad we did? like i get it. and i know that some of those alters dont front much/at all/ever anymore, but i think theyre still in there somewhere... and i love them?

theyre great. and they helped us a ton.

and two of the alters that split from that (or the trauma before maybe? idk) integrated and the result is another alter (and a completed fragment) and theyre both amazing too???

i know a lot of people complain about getting more alters or splitting or fragments and such but i just...

i dont know. maybe im just really fucking lucky... and i wouldnt put that past this tbh. but i dont mind it? we function a ton better like this, and its... so nice to see them be able to interact with people?

also theyre both introjects who LOVE interacting with others alters from their source and like

its so nice to know theyre here and happy and found the people they love again?

and i have feelings on introjects and i know theres a lot of drama going on for some reason but like. a part of did is that your relationships from the beginning of your life arent stable, right? and these introjects, they not only have those relationships in theory, but they managed to find them again?? here and now?

they have what we werent able to before, and im so happy for them and theyre delighted about it and its just...

idk.

im really happy sappy and emotional and i just am kind of writing a love letter to my system right now i guess.

cause we made it. were here and tbh this year? sucks ass. the past four years have sucked ass. a LOT of shit sucks ass. but we’re still here. were standing and fighting and enjoying life and just...

one of the alters who integrated is the one who managed to stop us from being suicidal, because he convinced me that like... “if you hate your life, that means youre not enjoying it. so, if youre not having fun, its not a life worth living to you. so have fun.”

and that was life changing for us?????

for ME?

and hes Honey now and honey is joyous and enjoys life to the fullest

but the other alter who made up honey wasnt able to do that.

and now they both are? as honey?

and thats fucking amazing????????? like????

i dont feel like i lost either of them. theyre just Honey now. and hes loving life???

i mean yeah hes got a full range of emotions now which means he can feel sad and angry while the others has more limited but like... isnt that better?

isnt it so much better to feel those?

it feels so much less shallow when youre overjoyed when you know what sorrow feels like. its so much deeper because theres that bittersweet tinge of “it wasnt always like this”

and i think thats what im getting at.

it wasnt always like this.

and it wont always be like this.

but we made it this far...

so i want to keep going.

#sehb #actuallydid #DID #csa mention

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princess-of-the-corner · 5 years

Text

Chloé as Ladybug AU

So I know some people have thought of this before but tbh now I’m thinking of it in a ‘what if this was taken seriously as a way for her to go through a redemption arc and grow as aperson instead of just using ‘she’s terrible and everyone hates her(especially Adrien)’ as the entire joke?’.

Anyway, onto the actual thing, starting with Origins:

Chloé somehow gets the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. Maybe accidentally, maybe Master Fu has some plans. IDK.

She’s super excited over the attention she would get as a Hero. Tikki warns her that she can’t reveal her identity, and she’s like ‘okay, fine, yeah that’s a superhero rule whatever.’. And since she isn’t transforming as part of her breakdown, she does stick to that.

immediately after she transforms and starts running around the city to get used to the powers/practice with the yoyo/etc.

Chloé runs into Chat Noir.

They immediately recognize eachother and are like the pointing Siderman meme

Legit though, they’re super excited to be heroes together. Bffs as Heroes! And yes, bffs, because I always headcanon them as sibling-like with Chloé faking her crush for a variety of reasons. But hey! With secret identities, you don’t have to do that!

As usual, Ivan becomes Stoneheart.

Chloé and Adrien treat it as more of a game, at first. I mean, they became Superheroes. Of course they think it’s gonna be fun. So they play it up, go ham, soak in the attention and play with the ‘personas’

They kinda realize through the fight that it might be harder than they thought. Because they are getting slammed around, and it starts to actually hurt. But they get through and win.

Then we have the later scene of ‘you remembered to purify the butterfly, right?’

Upon learning that she screwed up, Chloé snaps at Tikki. Telling her ‘how the hell was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me? I’ve never done this before!’.

Logically, she knows that Tikki just forgot. But she feels like it was a set up for failure. And despite her ‘omg I’m the best’ persona she puts up, she is kind of scared that she’s not enough. That she’s never enough. And this brings that up.

As much as she tries to pretend , she kinda knows that she’s terrible and honestly doesn’t deserve to be a hero. And this just proves it. So she Rejects the Miraculous and Tikki disappears back into the earrings.

At school they’re all discussing the whole Stoneheart thing and Chloé kinda tries to help by saying ‘well, just don’t piss him off and he won’t go all giant monster again’. That doesn’t come out as intended.

Ivan becomes Stoneheart again, but this time Chloé manages to get out before she’s grabbed/

At first, she doesn’t join the fight. Why bother when she’ll screw it up again?

But she sees Chat Noir out there still trying(and kinda failing.) And she can’t leave him on his own.

When she puts the earrings on and Tikki comes back out, the Kwami apologizes for not telling her about the butterfly. And this… catches Chloé off guard. Because people never apologize sincerely to her.

A lot of times people refuse to apologize to her. More often than not, they are forced to apologize because she’s the Mayor’s Daughter and could ruin them if they didn’t. Sometimes, with her parents, it’s a brushed off apology. A ‘sorry not sorry’, ‘sorry you got upset by my totally justified actions’.

So to have Tikki genuinely apologize, it confuses her. Especially when Tikki acknowledges that Chloé might not be the best person, but she doesn’t have to be perfect. Still, she hopes she can be better, knows she can if she tries again.

Chloé goes to fight as Ladybug again, and this time, her version of the speech to Hawkmoth is basically ‘I might not be the perfect choice for this job, but by fuck I’m going to do it! I will never back down or give in to you!’.

Next day at school, when Chloé goes to sit down, she finds Marinette back in her seat. When she tells her to move, Marinette stands up to her, saying ‘maybe I’m not perfect like you think you are, but I’m not backing down or giving in to you anymore.’.

This has gone full roleswap. Marinette sees Ladybug as a hero and inspiration, and uses that as the courage to stand up for herself.

This, honestly, confuses the hell out of Chloé so much that she actually backs down for a minute.

There are two things that stop Chloé from retaliating immediately.

The first is what Tikki said, about believing she can be better. Part of her thinks ‘whatever. I know I’m terrible. I’ve resigned myself to that. And even if I try no one will believe or accept it’. But… Tikki is an ancient magical creature, the Kwami of Creation. She might be right.

The second thing, is when Adrien saw Marinette stand up to Chloé, he was immediately like ‘heart eyes motherfucker!’.

So, Adrien has a crush on Marinette. Though she hates him because of Chloé’s earlier gum prank. So Chloé decides to confront Marinette.

Mari is expecting a fight and absolutely squares up. But Chloé is just like ‘hey I wanna talk about the gum prank’.

Mari’s like ‘Are you… are you apologizing?. Chloé’s just like ‘oh god no that’d be ridiculous. I just wanted to tell you that Adrien isn’t a part of it.’.

She explains that while she is absolutely a terrible person and knows it, Adrien is sweet af and innocent in that.

While Mari is hesitant and thinks this might be Chloé setting her up, she does give Adrien a chance. Especially after he apologizes and she asks other students about the gum prank.

Marinette doesn’t develop her crush on Adrien. But they do become friends.

Chloé also stops pretending to have a crush on Adrien because he likes Mari, and while Chloé would never admit it, Mari is probably the one person who might be good enough for him now that she has confidence. So she actively encourages him to go for it.

In between episodes, Chloé invites Adrien over and he gets to meet Tikki, while Chloé gets to meet Plagg!

At first Tikki’s like ‘you arent’ supposed to tell anyone about the hero stuff!’, but they explain that they recognized each other immediately so, you know. It didn’t matter.

The Kwami allow it if only because it was accidental but they are happy that they can see each other whenever this time around!

Chloé gets along with Plagg very well, and Adrien gets along with Tikki just as easily. They jokingly are like ‘maybe we should switch’.

So, like, before we go on I want to talk about Chloé’s ‘Hero Persona’. Much like Adrien as Chat Noir, Chloé uses Ladybug to be different from herself. She plays into the Hero Persona bit, trying to be nice and encouraging as a Hero should be. Which is strange to her, but kind of fun.

It doesn’t always work because she isn’t used to it, and sometimes the snark comes out or her temper gets the better of her, or it turns into my ‘how valid is your reason for akumatization’ post. But honestly? The way people love her and look up to her as Ladybug is good. Almost addicting in a way. It’s not only attention but good attention of people loving her for things she does instead of hating her or pretending to love her for money/status.

This does eventually start leaking into her Civillian life, especially with encouragement from Adrien and Tikki. And Plagg, I guess. He’s a bit more like ‘eh, whatever, be salty kid.’

Okay, so, as for other episodes. Some would stay the same with the only thing that changes being it’s Chloé doing the fighting instead of Marinette, but others go very differently. So I’ll go through them.

Stormy Weather

Mostly no changes. There might be the fact that, since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she doesn’t go to his photoshoot and therefore she, Alya, and Manon don’t get caught in Stormy Weather’s attack. But that wasn’t too important.

The Bubbler

Both Adrien and Chloé put off hero duties to enjoy the party at first. However, once they find out that parents are getting sent to space they jump into action.

Since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she didn’t panic and forget to sign the present. She instead gives it to Adrien in-person, and Nathalie has to run out and buy something else to give Adrien.

The Pharaoh

Not much changes here, except it’s Chloé and Adrien going to the Egypt Exhibit instead of Marinette and Alya. Well, who knows. Those two might’ve shown up too. It’s a neat Exhibit.

Chloé wouldn’t have dropped her history book. I’m still not sure what the fuck was up with that in the show in the first place. Ladybug doesn’t have pockets! Well, actually, this version might…. Remind me to design Chloé’s Ladybug outfit sometime. Either way!! No textbook!!

Lady Wifi

Of course Alya still starts up the Ladyblog. But I had a few ideas of how this could go.

Option A is to continue the role reversal and have Alya think that Marinette is Ladybug. The problem here is that if Alya snoops through Mari’s stuff, Mari wouldn’t freak out and try to have Alya expelled.

Option B is to still have Alya on the right track with Chloé being Ladybug, and does the ‘snoop in her locker’ thing. Naturally Chloé panics and insists Alya be expelled for that. (Side note: I still insist that Chloé was entirely justified in her reaction to someone rooting around in her locker). Problem here is ‘how does Chloé get out of this one?’

Timebreaker

This goes pretty much the same. Four teenagers don’t have enough collective brainpower to think ‘a pocket watch goes in a pocket’, and Chloé comes in with the Crow Brain to look at the shiny thing. Watch gets dropped and broken, Akuma time.

There is the issue of Marinette being unable to use time travel to fix her issue of needing to be in two places at once, but either she hides from Timebreaker by going home and taking care of the problem, or Chloé(having softened up a bit and is being nice) gives a half-truth to cover for her, saying ‘oh, sorry, she was caught up in some Akuma business and couldn’t be here!’.

Mr. Pigeon

I still don’t understand what the fuck is up with this.

The Akuma part of the story is still the same, but the hat contest is probably different due to the shift in dynamics. Chloé is trying to be nicer and even if she tried to copy Marinette’s hat design, Tikki would talk her out of it.

Although, Adrien probably is really encouraging for Marinette because of his crush, and he really wants her to win.

Chloé actually does something nice, after noticing that Mari took inspiration from the Akuma of the day and added feathers. She goes up and warns her, ‘hey, Adrien’s going to be wearing the hat and he’s allergic to feathers you should use fake feathers’. Mari is a little suspicious because while Chloé’s been better lately she’s still Chloé. But since it was something simple like that and not an act of sabotage, she takes the advice.

Evillustrator

So, while Nath is still Akumatized due to his teacher being a bitch, the ‘Chloé teasing him’ goes a little different.

When she sees his sketchbook, her comment is to Adrien of ‘looks like you have some competition!’, cluing Nath into the fact that Adrien also has a crush on Marinette, and immediately bringing up some insecurities because, you know, Adrien is a literal model.

When he’s Akumatized, instead of going after Chloé for her teasing, he goes after Adrien for being a romantic rival.

However, once Ladybug and Chat Noir are on the scene, he can’t find Adrien or Chloé, so he heads over to Marinette’s house.

While that was happening, we still have the issue with Marinette trying to convince Sabrina that Chloé is a bad friend. Since Mari wasn’t interrupted by Ladybug stuff, Sabrina was actually with her and both are being held hostage by Evillustrator.

Chloé lures Evillustrator away while Chat Noir stays behind to protect the girls. It doesn’t entirely work, but Marinette offers to be ‘bait’. Both heroes are opposed to it, but she points out that Evillustrator will come back eventually.

Chat Noir goes out of his way to protect Marinette and is just overly sweet and maybe shows off a little bit and oh no now she has a crush on him. Chloé finds out about this and is fucking cackling because Adrien likes Marinette and she returns the feelings but she doesn’t know that!

After all of this, Chloé does realize that Marinette is right about the whole Sabrina situation. And as part of her ‘being better’ thing, apologizes and resolves to be a better friend. Sabrina is easily won over by just the apology, but Chloé is legit trying.

Rogercop

not sure how this would pan out tbh. The whole thing was kickstarted because Plagg stole Chloé’s bracelet thinking it was cheese. But in this AU, Adrien would be able to tell Chloé what happened because she knows about Plagg, and even if he couldn’t Chloé has Tikki in her purse so Tikki would tell her(if she didn’t already stop Plagg from being an idiot). And even if she didn’t know, Chloé wouldn’t let her bag be searched because of Tikki

Legit though this is probably the one I’m stuck on

Copycat

This wouldn’t be exactly the same. Assuming the same thing happened of Théo having a crush on this Ladybug, Chat wouldn’t be jealous of this crush since he likes Marinette, not Chloé. Maybe this one is either Chat tries to let the guy down gently that Chloé won’t like him back, but accidentally implies that he’s dating Ladybug?

Mari’s subplot wouldn’t be the same since she doesn’t have a crush on Adrien and wouldn’t leave an embarrassing voicemail.

Wait, maybe the tables are turned and in this AU Théo has a crush on Chat Noir, and Chloé is the one who pulls the ‘he is already in love with someone else’, accidentally implying it’s her. Meanwhile Chat is missing because Adrien is attempting to ask Marinette out on a date.

Dark Cupid

This is mostly the same. Kim confesses to Chloé and is rejected. She’d be less harsh in this AU, but she still rejected him so you know.

Dark Cupid does effect Friendship, so when Chat gets hit it turns against Chloé’s friendship. He honestly probably says some very harsh stuff about Chloé’s history as a bully. She pushes that aside for later.

I’m thinking that Chloé knows she needs Chat back, and decides to go the ‘true love’s kiss’ route. Which means Marinette. Who just so happened to be trying to figure out a way to get a valentine to Chat Noir.

After everything’s back to normal, Adrien apologizes for the stuff he said while under Dark Cupid’s spell. Chloé says he doesn’t have to, because he was right. While she’d been kinda edging toward being nicer, this is where it really hits her that she should try in her civilian life instead of just as Ladybug.

Horrificator

Goes mostly the same. Mylene is scared and gets Akumatized over it. Chloé is trying to help by pointing out ‘why are you in a monster movie if you’re going to get this scared by what you know is coming??’, but it comes out bad. Chloé does get a chance to apologize by the end.

She also isn’t helping by trying to set up Mari and Adrien for the kiss scene. Which confuses everyone because while they noticed that Chloé wasn’t all over Adrien they still think she’s ‘hopelessly in love with him’ and have no clue why she’s doing that

Darkblade

Mostly the same for the Akuma plot.

Chloé decides to not blackmail anyone since it’s part of being nicer. I’m debating about having her decide to give up being class representative since being Ladybug is cutting into her free time enough, but considering her stubornness and the fact that she might feel pressured into the role by her dad, she might still run but ultimately lose to Marinette who wins since there was no blackmail to hold her back.

The Mime

The Akuma plot is the same. The side plot might be tweaked in that, since Marinette can’t recreate the footage herself, she tracks down Chloé and asks for her to recreate the interview she accidentally deleted.

Kung Food

Since Chloé is actively being nicer by this point, she wouldn’t sabotage the soup. I mean, I guess maybe this could be the point where Marinette says something to piss her off and Chloé slips back into her old ways for a bit, but regrets it as soon as she realizes what she really did and that this goes further than just petty revenge on someone who insulted her.

Gamer

Possibly different. Marinette wouldn’t have a reason to enter the gaming competition, therefore Max wouldn’t lose and be Akumatized.

Maybe Marinette ends up entering anyway. Or maybe Adrien suggests that Chloé try competing too since she’s definitely good at video games. (TELL ME I’M WRONG. Adrien only had her as a friend for most of his life! How would he get good at a multiplayer game if he didn’t have someone to play against?!)

Animan

Again, the Akuma is the same but the B plot is different! Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette, and everyone besides Marinette knows it because the boy is not subtle, I’m thinking something different.

Option A is that Nino has a crush on Alya and Adrien and Marinette try to set them up

Option B is that Nino, Alya, and Chloé try to set up a date for Adrien and Marinette. Nino and Alya are very confused about what’s up with Chloé but, well, you know how it goes.

Either way Chloé absolutely goes off on the Akuma of the day. “You were Akumatized because some dumbass doesn’t understand panthers??? What the fuck my man???”

Vanisher

I know Vanisher didn’t get her own episode but that was unfair as FUCK and this would fix it!

Since Chloé is actually Ladybug, she doesn’t dress up and pretend to be Ladybug. Therefore, the original fight can’t happen.

Instead, Chloé and Sabrina fight because Chloé keeps disappearing to be Ladybug. She runs off, she spends time with other people now, and she doesn’t answers Sabrina’s late night texts anymore because Chloé doesn’t have her phone on her when she’s out on patrols.

Even though Chloé promised to be a better friend, she’s technically been worse and is making Sabrina feel invisible.

After De-Akumatizing her, Chloé and Sabrina have a long talk, and try to schedule things out. She can’t tell her about being Ladybug, but she absolutely tries to make sure they hang out more.

Anitibug

Obviously Chloé wouldn’t get Aumatized here. However, Marinette absolutely can!

It still has something to do with Ladybug though. I was thinking maybe Chloé as Ladybug would snap at her like a reverse of what happened in the show. But you know what would be better?

Marinette finds out that Chloé is Ladybug. Think about it. The girl that bullied her for years and the girl who gave her the confidence to stand up to said bully are the same person. It not only breaks her mind, but she spirals thinking about every interaction she had with Ladybug, over analyzing every little comment and turning it into some kind of insult.

Also, her whole thing with Chat Noir? Absolutely comes into play. Marinette has him tied up and does the whole ‘hey, look, your Ladybug is actually pretty terrible. How about you get with me instead?’. Chat’s like ‘Okay I like you but this is not how I wanted this to go down!!’.

Eventually she is de-akumatized, but it’s their hardest fight yet. Chloé tries to talk to Marinette, but she doesn’t want to hear it. But Chat and Tikki are there to make her (Mari also freaks out at Tikki, but that’s explained quickly).

Chloé is like ‘look, I’ve been terrible. I am terrible. Even if I’m trying to be better, I know that. But everything I said or did as Ladybug was true. And even if it wasn’t, it meant something to you. You stood up to me and my terrible self because of that. So even if it’s me behind the mask, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re kind of amazing. Also if you tell anyone I said that I will tie you to the top of the Eiffel Tower I swear to fuck.”

This kind of really gets through to Mari that she’s trying to be better. And she looks back and sees that a lot of Chloé’s weird behavior was her either being nice or trying and failing to be nice. This starts up a tentative friendship.

Chat’s kind of like ‘Hey since she knows who you are shouldn’t she know who I am?’, but Tikki says no and bans him from telling her. Adrien is screaming because this would fix all of his romance problems real quick but no he still has to try and win Marinette over as Adrien. Goddamn it.

Puppeteer

Probably goes about the same since none of the Mari/Chloé/Adrien things caused this.

However, Chloé goes off on Nadja for the toy incident. You are given a toy to borrow for the weekend, but forbid it because ‘your kid has too many toys’? What the fuck lady? It’d be one thing if your kid was begging to buy an expensive toy but this is a free gift she’d return after like a week!

Relfekta

since Chloé isn’t being mean, this probably happens differently. Maybe it’s a ‘slipping back into her old habits’ thing while trying to help get Mari next to Adrien, but she probably didn’t go as far. It was just Juleka’s curse that happened.

Guitar Villain

Happens the same, really. Can’t go wrong with a pet dragon.

Pixelator

Pretty much the same, except Adrien and Marinette get trapped together and Adrien is still dying inside because he can’t just transform to get them out because Tikki will kill him. (He does not want to anger the tiny god thing!)

Princess Fragrance

Instead of being a bitch, Chloé brushes off Rose’s request of delivering a letter to Prince Ali because she’s concerned about Tikki being sick.

Simon Says

Pretty much the same, except for two changes:

First, when Adrien snaps at his dad, Chloé’s like ‘nah he deserves it! Fuckin go off since you can without repercussions!’.

Secondly, when Chloé finds out why the guy got Akumatized, she points out it’s the fault of the showrunners for deciding ‘we’re going to call a person at random and if they refuse to participate you fail automatically bye bitch!’. Which gets the Akuma to be like ‘wait, you’re right. Hold that thought.’

Volpina

Hoo boy! This is fun!

So, Chloé actually pays no attention to Lila. She knows Lila’s lying, but she doesn’t care. It ain’t hurting her, and she’ll be found out soon enough. If she does try something, then she can easily give an interview as Ladybug to disprove her claim of friendship. (She wants to do it anyway because she’s salty but she refrains.)

Marinette picks up on Lila’s lies about knowing Ladybug, since she knows Chloé is Ladybug and Chloé doesn’t know Lila at all. She still does her thing of following Lila.

Adrien still finds the Book of Miraculous Bullshittery, and he tells Chloé to meet him in the library to discuss it. They start up, but are interrupted by Lila. The three look at the book, but Chloé takes it with her at the end of the conversation.

Lila still saw enough of the book to buy a fake Miraculous for later. Marinette still following her of course.

However, at the park scene, it’s Adrien who calls Lila out on her lies(Mari wants to, but she can’t prove anything since she isn’t Ladybug). Adrien’s obviously nicer, but he’s still like ‘I know you’re lying about knowing Ladybug and being a Hero, but why?’.

This pisses Lila off because she ruined her chances with him. She becomes Volpina of course.

Adrien and Chloé obviously put together that this is an Akuma and not another hero. When Adrien explains what happened, Chloé gets very upset that this girl tried to manipulate her best friend like that.

After defeating her, Chloé tentatively offers to give Lila another chance, since Adrien talked her into it. But Lila’s like ‘fuck you!’.

Christmas Special

So, like, since Chloé knows that Adrien’s Chat Noir, and knows he’s fine after he disappears, she doesn’t show up to kick santa’s ass. So something else probably happens.

So, I kinda stopped properly watching episodes after Season 1, but I know what happens and such to the point where I’ll talk on them. Not every episode, but ones where I know something would change.

The Collector

Chloé goes to meet Master Fu, and she takes Adrien with her. There is a lot of mixed feelings over suggesting that Gabriel could be Hawkmoth that get discussed right then and there.

While Master Fu thinks Gabriel can’t be Hawkmoth since he was Akumatized, Chloé says they can’t rule him out. She knows manipulation tactics. And Gabriel becoming an Akuma right at the moment when they were investigating him? It’s suspicious. She lets it go for now, but she doesn’t rule him out. Adrien honestly agrees.

Despair Bear

Sine Chloé is already being nicer, there is no need to threaten her with the bear. And she wouldn’t be upset at Mari and Adrien dancing together. Not sure how/why the butler would be Akumatized. Maybe the butler doesn’t know shes being nicer and is trying to do this to help, but misunderstands her excitement over the dance as jealous anger? Idk

Prime Queen

Since Chloé and Adrien are 110% platonic, when Nadja asks about the ‘supposed romantic relationship’, they laugh for a good two minutes before going ‘wait you’re serious??’. They explain that they’re not in a romance, they’re just good friends who trust the fuck out of each other

Riposte

Since Marinette isn’t joining the fencing club to impress Adrien, we have to do something different. Maybe she tries to join for other reasons. Either Adrien asks as a way to spend more time with her, or she joins because now that she knows about Chloé being Ladybug, she wants to help fight.

Gigantitan

Instead of everyone trying to get Mari to ask out Adrien, they’re trying to get Adrien to ask out Marinette.

Dark Owl

Chloé and Adrien already know each other’s identities, so this isn’t an ‘almost reveal’.

Glaciator

Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette and not Ladybug, he wouldn’t miss the ice cream date. The guy might get Akumatized when Marinette is disappointed that her ice cream isn’t Chat Noir flavored. (Okay, I wrote that at like 4 am and now that I’m coming back to it I am concerned at my wording.)

Sapotis

While Chloé is working on being friendly to all classmates, and Adrien is already close to Alya, she wouldn’t be their first choice for another Miraculous.

Instead, they give the Fox to Marinette. Not only does she already know about Chloé, but both of our heroes agree that Mari is Hero Material.(She really is. Even in this ‘she never got a Miraculous the first time AU, she still is!).

Chloé refuses to take the Fox away from Marinette. After all, it’s not fair that the Ladybug and Cat are out all the time. Not to mention that Mari can’t get any good practice in without the Miraculous. That and they don’t want to separate Mari and Trixx.

Also, Trixx teases the hell out of Tikki for having her Chosen be the first to screw up the secret identity thing.

Zombizou

As Chloé is nice here, neither Marinette nor Miss Bustier are in danger of being Akumatized because of her.

However, I have ideas for Miss Bustier’s Akumatization based off what was going to happen in my old fic The One Where Chloé Knows. I plan to continue that eventually, so skip this if you don’t want spoilers.

Basically, Miss Bustier is in some trouble with the school since most of the Akumas have come out of her class. She just wants to do her job and keep her students safe.

Syren

instead of being upset at Ladybug keeping secrets, since Chloé doesn’t do that, Adrien gets frustrated that he can’t tell Marinette who he is. Other than that this episode is pretty much the same.

Frightengale

instead of ruining Clara’s music video out of petty jealousy, Chloé does it to try and help protect Chat Noir’s secret identity. It backfires, of course, doubly so because she can’t tell Marinette why, but everything works out in the end.

Troublemaker

Mari doesn’t have a photo wall of Adrien. Maybe she has a wall of Chat Noir, but probably not since there aren’t as many printed pictures of him to collect.

Anansi

I’m debating on whether or not to do something with the Turtle Miraculous.

Option A is to keep it as is, giving it to Nino. This would be Adrien’s decision since he knows Nino best.

Option B, is to have Chloé give it to Sabrina, especially since she still feels guilty for not spending as much time with her.

I’m debating about it because while Option B makes some sense, Sabrina isn’t really Hero Material. Not yet at least. But Nino is.

Frozer

Marinette starts to get over her crush on Chat Noir, convincing herself it was just a ‘hero crush’ type thing. She decides to try a date with Luka. Adrien, believing he’s lost his love to him, tries going out with Kagami. Both end up wishing they were with each other instead.

Style Queen

Since Chloé is already Ladybug, she can’t be the Bee. She gives the Bee to someone else. Possibly Alya, to keep the original Quintet intact. But maybe someone else.

Instead of turning into a superhero out of jealous rage, Chloé snaps at her mother and nearly gets Akumatized before Adrien and Marinette manage to calm her down. This does get through to her mother, who realizes how much she’s been fucking up by being absent.

Malediktator

Since Chloé is being a better person she would have no reason to leave Paris. I think her dad would probably get Akumatized due to Chloé’s near-breakdown in the previous episode, realizing how much he fucked up in raising her too.

Heroes’ Day

I wanted to say something would be different, but other than Marinette being re-akumatised instead of Chloé, not really. I guess the ‘good deeds’ speech would be different.

Backwarder

Since Marinette isn’t trying to deliver a love letter to Adrien, and likely isn’t the one doing any deliveries at all, the letters don’t get mixed up. Not sure how this would go down instead.

Weredad

A few things are different. Firstly, Mari wouldn’t have a secret identity to hide since Chat Noir knows she’s the Fox.(I guess I could go back and say oh, no, only Chloé knows, but not only was it a group decision to give her the Fox, but Chloé wouldn’t put them in a love square so help her!)

Marinette also does actually have a crush on Chat Noir in this AU, so it wouldn’t be a panic-fueled lie.

Even if Mari confessed to liking Chat Noir to distract him, Chat would be delighted instead of saying ‘I’m in love with someone else’. However, he might say ‘sorry, as much as I do return your affections, we can’t be together right now due to the secret identity’

Chameleon

When Lila tries to manipulate the class into loving her, Chloé calls her out on it. At first people think it’s Chloé going back to her old ways and/or trying to shift the hatred to the new girl.

Then Marinette chimes in with the stuff she eavesdropped on back in Volpina, and Adrien hesitantly backs up the claims that Lila did try to lie to get him to date her.

Everyone agrees that Lila might’ve lied about that, but there’s a chance she’s not lying about other things. Still, they now take what she says with a grain of salt.

Lila confronts Chloé in the bathrooms this time, telling her the usual ‘stay out of my way or I’ll ruin you’. Chloé tells her ‘go ahead and try. They already hate me. I have nothing to lose!’.

Chloé has a minor breakdown after Lila leaves though. Because while she said she has nothing to lose, she kind of does. Because people are starting to genuinely like her now that she’s being nice. And if Lila ruins that…. Well, Chloé almost gets Akumatized over it, but she pulls together knowing that Adrien and Marinette would never believe Lila.

Lila then becomes Chameleon and causes chaos though. Lila still has a hatred of Ladybug, but she also hates Chloé and Marinette as much. Only reason she doesn’t hate Adrien is because if she can get him, then it will be a big fuck you to Chloé and Marinette.

Animaestro

Since Marinette and Chloé aren’t fighting over Adrien, they don’t have a problem.

Bakerix

There’s mostly no change except for the fact that Chloé puts together that this might not be about bread recipes….

Oblivio

Since it’s Chloé and Adrien getting memory wiped, their assumptions are different. I could go for comedy and say they also assume they are a couple and get grossed out later when they regain their memories, but I think they assume they’re siblings since they obviously trust each other but don’t have a romantic spark.

Stormy Weather 2

Chloé’s not a jerk anymore, so she wouldn’t be picking on Aurore. Idk what happens I’m tired it’s fuckin 5 am as I’m typing this now.

Onichan

I doubt that Adrien would be allowed to be alone near Lila after what happened in Chameleon. While Chloé and Marinette would be willing to give her a chance at redemption, Lila has shown no sign of doing so and would not trust her until she does.

Adrien might end up forced by something else to spend time with Lila. Or maybe he’s just too nice for his own damn good.

However, he gets very cold when Lila pulls the kiss picture, and decides ‘no. No way. You want another chance you gotta go through someone else first’.

Miraculer

Since Chloé is the Bee, and none of the other Heroes identities are known, and they get to keep their Miraculous 24/7, this doesn’t really happen.

I feel like this could be a time to change the entire episode plot. Say, for example, Chloé finally gives in to her insecurities and fears over being never enough and gets Akumatized. She manages to take off the Miraculous first, and Tikki zips off to find one of the other heroes to be Ladybug for the day. She absolutely chooses Marinette for the cookies.

Timetagger

FUCK IT I’M GIVING ALIX THE SNAKE INSTEAD OF THE RABBIT FUCK YOU SHE HAS SNAKE DESIGNS ON HER SLEEVES GODDAMNIT.

Sorry it’s 5 am and I’m salty. But seriously.

I don’t think Gamer 2.0 would change, and that’s the most recent episode as of typing this so fuck it this is going right into the void tomorrow and then I can go back to working on fuckin fullmetal alchemist and all that other gay shit.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Chloé Bourgeois #Adrien Agreste #marinette dupain cheng #Marichat #Adrienette #Chat Noir #Lady Luck AU #I'm not gonna tag everyone but those are the main players so they're getting tagged

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years

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i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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sakichi56 · 5 years

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Poll I guess?

Okay, so, I wasn't originally going to do this, but then I realized this is the easiest way to do this. So here I am. After I finish my dumb little AU series for them on AO3, I am still planning to write more for them because they have so little and I feel horrible for all of y'all who ship them. I have a whole comp book full of ideas for the pairing and I am going to list a hand full of them that I have the most outline work done, and I would like anyone who is interested to tell me which ones you would like to see (if any) and specifically which one I should write first.

1.Omegaverse- Just a dumb little oneshot about Frieza being an omega who likes to mask his scent with that of an alpha because he wants people to think he is one, and Goku is totally cool with it. Vegeta is suspicious and decides to do some investigating into what Frieza really is.

2.Soulmate AU- Specifically the one about not being able to see color until you meet/touch your soulmate. Frieza never believed in or cared for the idea of soulmate, until he saw color for the first time during a fated battle with a certain Saiyan on a planet called Namek.

3."Zombie Flipper AU"- Frieza lives on Earth with his family. Cold is a politician, Cooler is the district chief prosecutor, and Frieza is in the business of flipping houses. But his latest project happens to be a bit tougher than he bargained for when he finds out that the property in question happens to be plagued by a terrible local gang, not to mention the people livijg in the home arent too open to talking with him. All except for the youngest member of the family, and boy is he something.

4.Highschool Au- Actually don't know which of the two ideas I want to go with for this one, so I guess I will just list both and let you guys vote on that too. The first is that Frieza is used to going to Private school all his life, but when the highschool he is slated to go to ends up being closed down, he gets thrown last minute into a public school and finds himself completely lost. Luckily, he happens to share gym class with a very friendly and helpful boy named Goku, who offers to show him the ropes, and the two hit it off. In this one, Frieza wouldn't necessarily be meek, but he would be a bit more shy than in canon. The other idea is just that Frieza is your typical snotty rich kid with high grades, student council president, head of disciplinary committee, etc. And he choose to go to a public school because he is bored with private schools. Goku is your friendly guy with awful grades (minus gym), shows up a bit late regularly, but all his teachers love him. When he gets in trouble and is sent to see Frieza, he shows no signs of fear or remorse, and is instead very chatty. Frieza is both infuriated by this brat not knowing his place and showing him the proper respect and fear he deserves, but also very intrigued because he is so different. So, he decides the boy's punishment will be to join the student council, that way he would be required to behave better, hoping this will give them more time together to learn and study one another.

5.Actor Au- Basically, everything that happened between all the characters in canon, it was all a show. Frieza and Goku are just actors playing their roles. And Frieza is ecstatic to be working with the man once again. He always had a crush on him, but he never worked up the courage to say anything back when they were recording Z, nor did he when they were filming his movie. So, with Super nearing it's end, Frieza decides he will finally confess his feelings to Goku and see what happens, since he has no idea if they will ever get to work together again.

6.New God Of U.7- Just a short oneshot about what could happen if Beerus either decides to retire and has Goku and Frieza compete for his position, or if something happens to him and Whis has to make a hasty decision to fill the position and it comes down to them. Goku would end up getting the job, and Frieza, having been brought up all his life to fear the God Of Destruction and be respectful to them, has a hard time knowing where they stand with eachother now. So he defaults to forced, reluctant politeness and submission. Which Goku does not like at all.

7.Idol AU- Just what it sounds like. The good guys are an idol group, and the villains are an idol group. With Goku and Frieza leading them respectively. The two groups end up competing for the right to perform at the World Musical Arts Convention, the two groups end up being forced closer than they ever thought possible by unforseen circumstances.

8.Servant AU- When Frieza has a fight with his father over an arranged marriage, he runs off in a rebellious huff and bumps into a servant around his age who begins talking with him. He is in a foul mood and considers killing the other boy, but something about the Broly soothes him, so he ends up taking a liking to the other male and tells him about the fight he had with his father. The two become something akin to friends, but only when they are alone, as his father would kill the other boy if he knew. Frieza appoints the Saiyan as his own personal servant and swiftly moves him into his wing of the palace, meaning they are closer and can get to know each other better. All goes well for the two, until King Cold springs a meeting with the Frieza's betrothed princess on him.

9. Kindergarten AU- What it sounds like, everyone is a child, Beerus and Whis are the teachers, there are cliques such as Goku, Krillen, Yamcha and Bulma, who are sometimes joined by Tien and Chiaotzu. 17 and 18, the twins who always stick together in their own world, but have recently been approached by Krillen. Piccolo is a loner, until the transfer student Gohan worms his way into his life. Vegeta is also a lone wolf, but he has a somewhat friendly, somewhat hateful friendship with Goku, and he and Bulma are quite sweet on each other. Then there are the trouble makers, Frieza and Cell. They are sometimes accompanied by Buu, as the child is quite chaotic, but not always since he is also fairly nice and he doesn't entirely fit in with them. Frieza has a crush on Goku, as he admires how the other boy stands up to him and is always called in by his friends to protect them from Cell or even Frieza himself. But, as they are both so young, Frieza does not know how to show the other how he feels, so he picks on him instead.

10.Chapter fic- I have an entire fic outlined from beginning to end, and have had it for a few months now. It's basically one of rhose dumb 'what if Goku brought an unconscious, cut in half Frieza back to Earth with him' story. Bulma ends up fixing him up instead and he has to undergo a lot of physical therapy and recovery to get used to the robotic limbs. Bulma and Goku keep him in check (as Goku spends the year at C.C. with Bulma and the tyrant) and along the way they all forge a friendship, even though Frieza would never admit it. Frieza is given the option by Goku of staying or leaving, as Bulma will build him a ship if that is what he wants. But before the year is up, the two have shown him such a good time, especially the Saiyan, that he does not know which option to choose. While he deliberates on the choice, trouble approaches the Earth.

So those are a handful of what I have, I still have a ton of other ideas, but those are the ones I have the most prepared for at this time. So yeah, please let me know what you all think. If you want me to try any of these, and if so which one should be first, or even if you think I should scrap any entirely from my book.

Much appreciated, and sorry for wasting anyone's time!~♡

#friku #fanfiction #time for you guys to vote i guess

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