#even the KINDERGARTNERS
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I definitely think that former rich kid-Steve knows how to ski, and when he and Eddie move to New England in their late twenties, he gets into it again.
Eddie, on the other hand, is not a skier. Not by any stretch of the imagination. He let Steve drag him onto the mountain once, and that was way more than enough for him.
Years later, when they have kids that they're supposed to be enrolling in sports (to become "well-rounded human beings" or whatever), Steve signs them up for skiing "just to see how it goes", and much to Eddie's chagrin, they love it, so every weekend from November through February, the Harrington family can be found at their local mountain.
Eddie joins the trip to the mountain every weekend purely for child-wrangling purposes because, seriously, three kids five-and-under is no fucking joke. His favorite part of their ski days is the conversation Steve has to have with Moe, their half-feral menace of a five-year-old, before they hit the slopes.
"Okay, no running into anyone," Steve says as he adjusts Moe's bright pink ski helmet, "Last week you were bowling people over left, right, and center."
Eddie has to hold in a snort, because it's true. The second Moe got the hang of skiing she'd made it her mission to figure out just how fast she could barrel down the mountain. To hell with the other skiers.
"Can you make some big turns today, Moe?" Steve asks, and Eddie watches Moe give her dad some major side-eye.
"Maybe," she says, her tone suggesting she wouldn't be doing any such thing.
So Moe and Steve hit the big hill and Eddie drops three-year-old Robbie off at her lesson on the bunny slope and then he gets to spend the rest of the day in the warmth of the ski lodge with baby Hazel, watching out the window as Steve makes every attempt to prevent Moe from careening straight down the mountain.
"I swear – that girl doesn't feel fear," Steve says later when he finally manages to drag Moe into the lodge for lunch, "You see it, right? She's gonna kill someone if she keeps skiing like that."
"Hey this was all you, man," Eddie shakes his head, "At least we know we can't ever sign her up for hockey."
"Jesus Christ – imagine the bloodbath that would be."
#steve's the one guy who's still in great shape even in the winter because he spends every weekend chasing his kindergartner down a mountain#(eddie is not complaining)#steddie#liv’s steddie dads verse#steddie dads#steve harrington#eddie munson#subtle dilf-steve bc I couldn't help myself
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Genshin twitter is a cesspool rn, calling jacob (kinich's new va) a scab, etc. Some even blame john for not doing his job coz he's doing A STRIKE.
A lot of entitled and toxic people with no regards for empathy and what not.
Reading the tweets only saddens the situation more. Just delete twitter, y'all, this mess wouldn't solve anything.
#genshin impact#genshin#twitter is a hellsite#why are the other vas even insulting him? he did nothing wrong#clearly people need to learn some basic empathy from kindergartners
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Paper mosaic Saint Waidwen in different lighting cause my camera is bad.
#pillars of eternity#art#saint waidwen#i bought some light brown and gold paper specifically for this projwct#i did feel a little bit like a kindergartner in the beginning but honestly this was fun#i intend to make a second version of this too#i'm also trying out signatures and thought i'd be cute#didn't really have a better idea since i'm not even sure how long i want to keep this username#what do you think?
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dave just 8locked someone for having an interpret8ion of mcyt characters that he didnt agree with... im so proud of him
#he wants you all to know that imagining the characters as kindergartners is uninteresting and unfunny and frequently done in a way that is#inaccurate to how the characters and kindergarteners act#its like an even less interesting version of those edgy theories about kids shows where theyre all hallucinations or whatever
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youtube
Vecna targets Nancy and Robin...
song is Megalomaniac by Aseaes!
flashing/strobing lights at 1:35-1:38 and 1:44-1:46
More info below the cut!
Here it is! I've been working on this for months as a way of procrastinating from the actual ronance fic I'm working on and then it kind of became its own thing? Basically ronance if Robin and Nancy were also targeted by Vecna in season four and also there's a very miniscule hint of werewolf! Nancy. It was very hard to find some actual werewolfy clips that matched the vibe of st, so I tried, but alas. If you look really hard its kinda there!
The video matches the beginning of my fic and kind of explains how/when Nancy was bit by a werewolf. In my fic, she was bitten the night of the Starcourt Mall fire. There's something in the woods... And then as it goes on, it touches on some plot points I hope to maybe expand on in the future! It was fun to let my mind wander into different avenues for the fic; so a pretty good, if not time consuming, brainstorming technique.
And then, rest of the video: hijinks ensue! I kind of left the video as a cliff hanger because I haven't written the rest of the fic yet and like I said it kind of morphed into its own thing on the way, but I thought I'd post it anyway! Have my strange, maybe edit? I don't really know what to call it. Its also the first time I've ever made something like this, I have some audio editing experience, but not much. Anyways If you've made it this far to the end, thank you for reading and watching! This was a labor of love and I really had fun. I hope you like it!!
#ronance#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#robin x nancy#stranger things season 4#stranger things fan edit#basically i couldnt stop listening to this song and associating it with Nancy#specifically werewolf! Nancy#and then i made a mish mash of what was in my brain#i feel like a kindergartner handing you my crayon drawing#and im very proud of it#even though theres not too many werewolf references lol#now to actually write more of this fic...
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Having a big frustration with the game director doin his response-to-the-reaction on a tweet because I had to dig through a bunch of sweatbaby reacts before finding the video itself on youtube. That sucks! Would have been great if like the tweet got linked on the youtube page or he posted the video on the youtube account.
For the most part, what he said was stuff I didn't need to have explained because Ive been paying attention to the high-level and drawing-back-the-curtain communications theyve done in the past. All that stuff about armor, I groked that on my own when I sat down and looked at all the armor sets in a 4 season year of destiny. The stuff about pvp modes made perfect sense to me, you got something new for skilled players and something to entice players who are scared of the crucible because of the skilled players. The stuff about how the showcase was filmed a while ago and the team is very busy working, that was some "daycare worker being patient with child because they knocked over their own juice" meme level explanation.
I am so ashamed and sad for my game's community that the literally destiny presidenty has to get on twitter to explain to grown ass men that the game is being worked on, and they aren't just sitting around waiting for us to complain about stuff and then tell us what theyre gonna do about it, like this is some fucking restaurant and joe is the maitre'd who's gonna go back in the kitchen and say 'Hey chef chris proctor stop making that delicious exotic weapon potroast and put some more maps in the goddam spaghettios I got a table full of screaming 11 6th graders out here' If he thinks this is the best way to handle the way the sweatbabys are behaving, that is the most sad and tragic commentary on this game's communuty.
I don't like that after years of consistent messaging about not overpromising on delivery, he straight up promised a map-pack that, based on what they've told us in the past, is gonna require a huge shift in resources. That's very worrying! I thought this kind of stuff was over! Great job aztecross et all! You got dad to turn the van around! Now who knows what's gonna get knocked off pipeline as a result. The later FS dungeon? A reprised destination? Maybe the next reprised raid?
If a destiny CM happens to see this, I'm sorry. I'm just sorry. You deserve better. Destiny deserves better. The Crucible deserves better. None of these pvp tryhards make Shaxx or Saint proud. They're just loud. I'm sorry y'all have to do so much to keep them from being deafening.
#destiny 2#destiny community taking a big fat L today for needing to be talked to like actual kindergartners by the boss of the game#I already barely had the resolve to go in and finish my season pass this week#and Im so tilted that I wouldn't if not for the beautiful jellyfish armor#So THANK YOU ARMOR TEAM for keeping me invested with beautiful art even when the community is getting me down
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today in kindergarten volunteer adventures: one of the kids asked me if I had children, which happens at least once every time I go in; the first time one boy asked me if I had kids and then followed it up by asking if I was in 1st grade, which is possibly the funniest combination of questions I've ever been asked. anyway, until today I thought I didn't have children but this sweet kindergartner revealed to me that I have four kids... ages 11, 12, 17, and 88 :D I don't know anything about them yet but happily the kindergartners love telling me things* so I'm sure ONE of them will be able to help me out here. I can't believe I've been a deadbeat mom for like 90 years now. this is especially enchanting to me bc I'm turning 34 tomorrow LMAO
#I LOVE THESE KIDS SO MUCH...#she's not even in the class I volunteer in! i do lunch/recess duty as well so i've gotten to meet kids from all 3 classes :3#*possibly the greatest thing about volunteering with kindergartners is that they LOVE explaining the rules#one kid came to tattle on another kid my second day and i was like 'oh let's ask mrs. p about this i'm new and don't know the rules'#not only did he promptly start explaining them to me - when he got to the one about 'no tattling' he paused and was like 'oh yeah'#and then just wandered away to go play with blocks. and that's how i learned there's a rule against tattling in mrs. p's kindergarten class#i was really impressed he put 2 and 2 together like that on the spot. even for adults that can be a struggle#anyway. today was the leprechaun hunt which was very exciting for us all :D the leprechaun is 1001 years old and HATES sugary cereal#helper teacher#bonewhiteglory.txt
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hey. i might be depressed.
#.din#.txt#lying in bed (im always lying in bed) watching kitchen nightmares and hating myself for watching it.#a kindergartner beat me up today and called me a fucking bitch and . well again he hit me kind of a lot.#i dont want to exist anymore. i dont even want to kill myself. i just dont want to be anymore.
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fuck I’m scared
#Me all the time but I go back to work tomorrow#i’m a teacher’s assistant#I’m getting a job at a different school next week and it’s going to be a jump from kindergartners to eighth graders#it’s not even gonna be that bad because tomorrow I’m still at my current job. why am I freaking the fuck out#river ratatouille rambles#Jesus Christ
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Here’s your reminder that pledging to the flag is weird nationalist shit and thank you Mr.5th grade teacher for teaching me that I don’t have to stand. Not only that but it’s strange that we have it instilled in us from such a young age.

#fuck the flag#america#pledge#allegiances#why are kindergartners pledging they’re loyalty to a country when they don’t even know what pledge means
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a lot of precure lead cures use a catchphrase nowadays (summer, idol, wonderful, star) 2 the point where its almost becoming a Forced trope or like "smth theyre 'required 2 hav'" ngl.
#however. wonderful's felt different bc its an ACTUAL WORD jus in english so even if some of the situations they use it in r a lil silly or#an incorrect way of usage it still feels somewhat natural (+wonderful is an airhead) but the others sound So dumb when used tht much.. they#squeal it Every Chance They Get n i get its 2 let the kids hav smth 2 repeat n find cute but as some1 whos Not a kindergartner its so...#like god stop going 'TROPICASHINE!!! ITS SO TROPICASHINE!!!1! ><' n stuff every 5 secs at every opportunity its not a cool phrase#i 4got what star's was it was smth 2 do w sparkly or whatever. idol's is 'kira kilala!' or whatever n as soon as i heard her start spouting#it i was like ohh my god we're dealing w summer/star 2.0 arent we#delete later#edit: didnt sparkle also hav 1 2. shes not a lead/pink cure tho.
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You know what hits me hard? When 5 to 6 year old children, all the way in Southeast Asia, knows about what's happening in Palestine right now. That children their age is getting bombed, that they're starving to death, that they're getting shot at, and sniped in the head. Because, just this past 2 or so months, I heard some of the little ones in the Kindergarten classes I'm TAing in as an Intern talk about it. Hell, one of the little boys downright said he didn't like Israel, because Israel is bad, because they do scary things. Another was questioning whether Palestine was bad too, because, "why else would they shooting at them?". A little girl in one of my classes doesn't want to finish her food at all, because she wants to save at least half her meat and rice for kids in Palestine, because she heard that, they don't have food. And that's just the ones I remember. Namely the inciting cases before their classmates slowly follow suit. The littles are fricking SCARED. We had to sit these kids down, and tell them that the topic is too mature for them at the moment, that they shouldn't even be concerned because they're KINDERGARTNERS, they're not even old enough to properly understand. The one teacher I was TAing for had to make a class announcement saying that. What gets me is, these are 5 to 6 year olds, the youngest I've worked with in this specific age group is 4. 5 years old on average, and they've already been exposed to the worst horrors genocide has to offer through the news and snippets of conversation among adults and hell, considering how many of them say they like to play games on Mama's phone, or their IPad, even from fricking social media. And the fact that, these literal babies, from all the way in Cambodia, has more empathy in their entire body and soul, than full grown fricking adults have in the nail of their pinky finger, gets me. FFS we as adults could LEARN from them I feel sometimes. I honestly don't know what to feel about it anymore. On the one hand, this is the next generation I'm working with. And if the next generation's default response to a tragedy such as Palestine, is what I've seen come up on occasion so far? Perhaps there's some bloody hope for this world after all. At least in this country. Especially since a majority of them already come from families who survived a genocide. These are the 3rd - 4th generation descendants of those who survived the Khmer Rouge. They've got grandparents at home, who no doubt are more than intimately familiar with what Palestine is going through right now. And it shows.
But on the other, it makes my heart sink because these are CHILDREN, these are LITTLE KIDS, they should be playing with their toys and watching cartoons and talking to their friends about everything from Spiderman to Speakerman to Kuromi and her friends, and be worried about whether or not they can go to playground that day, guranteed they're well behaved, or if Mama remembered to pack in their costume for swimming lessons that week. NOT JUST MY KIDS. But the little ones in Palestine too. They deserve better. They all deserve, so much better. Hell, it's come to the point that whenever I look at my kiddos right now, whether they'd be working in class, playing, doing something as mundane as eating lunch or getting ready for their nap. I think of the children their age in Palestine that didn't even get the chance to survive. I think of the ones whose memories from this age, is nothing but absolute horror and pain, rather than what has slowly become my normal, who never got to experience what my littles do on a daily basis right now.
Children shouldn't even be concerned about "War", about a Genocide. The last thing that should be on a 5 year old's mind, is pain, and suffering, and the worst horrors imaginable ever to be inflicted on a human being. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S INFLICTED, ON OTHER CHILDREN THEIR AGE. And for that alone, the world has failed them. Especially the kids in Palestine who didn't ask for any of this. They just wanted to carry on with life as kids do, the same way as my littles do on a daily basis no doubt, learning, playing, chatting with friends over their favourite cartoons and characters, worrying about whether they'd get to go to the playground or not that day.
I apologize for talking about this on this blog. I know my blog tends to be lighter in feel, a lot more unhinged and light hearted typically. I mean, I'm just a fricking nerd who likes to draw and write, and lurk about her favourite fandoms to consume and support what is shared among other nerds who also like to draw and write. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. About contemplating it, especially since I'll be back on a roll tomorrow, working with my kiddos again after not seeing them for 5 days straight because of Holidays. And, I just had to talk about it. This is something I felt I couldn't keep to myself this time, I don't think my soul'd be able to carry it. I had to talk about it.
FREE PALESTINE. Our children deserve better.
#free palestine#gaza#palestine#rafah#israel#current events#gaza strip#human rights#childrens rights#save the children#cease fire in gaza#cease fire now#cease fire permanently#palestinian genocide#support gaza#pray for palestine#ceasfire now
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That's the neat part! Sometimes you do.
I genuinely feel bad and sympathetic towards people who work specific jobs that essentially train them to put on a happy and cheerful persona everyday for a week especially if they don't enjoy it, I think I would hallucinate if I did the same.
#waitress#we have to talk to customers like they are kindergartners so they dont want to claw our eyes out#and we have to pretend to enjoy it#we also have to pretend to be stupider than them#but thats a little hard to describe when in this much chronic pain#so many customers get their way even when it breaks company policy just because if we dont cave they wont stop screaming#I had some really nice regulars#but I maaaaaaaay have placed contact hexes on a *few* customers#I do kinda feel guilty about that because they were so old but they were mean and bitter so they can eat shit honestly
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passenger princess pairing: sunshine!reader x bf!rafe synopsis: no one touches your side of the car warnings: fluff! wc: 700 this was such a cute little idea, i loved it!!! this is for the baddies that refuse to get a license ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ originally posted 11/11/2024



whenever you'd come up with some new, ridiculous way to 'tune up' what you had deemed your side of his car, rafe would act like it was such a bother; like he really didn't get why you felt the need to be doing all that.
rafe's side of the car was, well, normal. sure, he had a few documents he kept in the driver's seat sun visor, but everything else was sleek, normal, but your side was like a kindergartner's dream come true. it got so ridiculous that you had a fluffy blanket you'd stuffed into the glove compartment, conveniently ignoring the gun he kept there. sure, that came in use for car quickies, but most of the time it was just there for when you felt like... napping.
the dashboard had a bunch of stickers as well as some of those weird furry toys (calico crits or some shit) along with those weird little babies with fruits on their heads; you'd put blu-tack on their feet to make sure they stayed in their rightful places. even the cup holder was taken over by a little plushie, and he'd basically had to argue for you to not get a pink cover for the steering wheel; that ended up with you giving him the silent treatment for a week until he showed up behind your door with more ridiculous trinkets for your side of the car.
secretly, he liked the fact that there was your side of the car, that even when you weren't there, he could still see traces of you everywhere.
rafe let out a small sigh, tapping his long digits against the steering wheel, glancing down at his watch the longer it took barry to get there; finally, he saw the man getting out of his trailer, letting out a low "fucking finally..." while barry opened the door to rafe's car, his eyes immediately landing on the crap on your side of the car. "don't ask."
"wasn't gonna." barry huffed in amusement, getting into the decorated side of the car, and rafe wished he wasn't in such a hurry, the sight being so ridiculous. "you're whipped, huh?"
"what are you talking about?" rafe scoffed, the car lurching forward as he started it, barry adjusting the cute seat cover you'd recently bought, letting out a small tut. "i wouldn't do that." but before rafe could stop barry from further meddling with your settings, he'd already started adjusting the seat, making him groan internally.
"are you gonna get shit for it?"
"obviously." rafe scoffed, "and you will too. it took her, like, a month to adjust it to be comfortable. so stop touching her shit."
still, barry continued looking at the little trinkets you kept on your side of the car, taking one of those weird fruit babies and toying with it, letting out a small snort, but when they pulled up in front of an unfamiliar house instead of the house party rafe had told him they'd be going, barry looked at the blonde with furrowed brows, who simply scratched the back of his neck.
"don't tell-"
before he could finish his sentence, barry was startled by the sound of a knock on the passenger seat window, and when he turned around, you were standing there, mouthing something.
"she's saying you're in her seat." rafe muttered under his breath, barry laughing at this; it was getting more and more ridiculous by the minute.
"whipped. w-h-i-p-p-e-d." barry slapped rafe's shoulder, making the blonde roll his eyes as barry got out of the passenger's seat.
"hi." you said with an excited smile as you climbed onto your side of the car, pressing a soft kiss on rafe's stubbled cheek, all the while barry climbed into the backseat, feeling like he was a damn kid getting a ride to school from his parents.
however, as you tried to settle onto your usual seat, you looked between the two men with narrowed eyes, your glossed lips pursing into a pout, rafe feeling like he might burn under your gaze.
"did he mess with my seat?"
"i told him not to!"
"barry!" you exclaimed, your keen eyes landing on the dashboard, noticing that something was missing; you turned around to face him, a sheepish grin on barry's face.
"barry, give me the angel back!"



#꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron obx#obx rafe cameron#obx#obx fanfiction#obx fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fluff#outer banks fanfiction#drew starkey
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If someone reaches for something at the same time as you, offer to let them take it first.
For example, you're in line at a buffet, and someone reaches for the soup ladle to get their helping of soup at the same time as you. Instead of reaching for it even faster like a kindergartner trying to grab a toy before the other kids can, instead offer to let them have the ladle and scoop their soup first.
Or you're at the grocery store and reach for a can of tomatoes at the same time as someone else, instead of trying to grab it faster like a toddler trying to grab a cookie before their sibling can get it, instead offer to let them take the can instead.
If you can, it helps to make a demonstration of it, such as saying "oh no you go first!" or "oh no you can have it!", or even just smiling and/or gesturing at the thing you're both grabbing for to let them know they can have it first. That way, if this is someone being childish and acting like a kindergartner who wants to just grab things first before other people can have it, you are letting them know that you are letting them have it out of good manners, and not because they "won" by grabbing for it faster than you. It might even make them reconsider their childish and selfish behavior if they see someone demonstrating good manners by consciously letting them have it first.
Most of the time small grabby children are going to be relatively close to each other in size and physical strength. But as we get older we have to learn better because in the world at large outside of a preschool classroom there are going to be even more variances in size and physical capabilities. In a world where everyone regardless of age just reaches faster if they see someone reaching for the can or soup ladle at the same time as them, or rushes faster to get to the cash register first if they see someone approaching at the same time as them, ect. is going to be a world where children, the elderly, disabled people, and anyone just smaller in frame/stature is going to be at a disadvantage and always going to be the last to get the can or the last to get to the cash register, ect.
So this is why we behave civilly in public and go "oh no you go first!" when someone reaches for the can or the soup ladle at the same time as us, or approaches the cash register at the same time as us, ect. It's one of the foundational blocks for having a world of cooperation and compassion instead of a world where children, elderly people, disabled people, or anyone at a physical disadvantage always come last.
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They Think I'm Pregnant - A.H
a/n: i feel like this is kind of shitty but alas here we are!
masterlist
pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: the team thinks you're pregnant and you decide to have a little fun with it
warnings: reader is not preggers promise!, honestly the team gossiping is so lol, suggestive content per usual
wc: 1.3k
"I mean she has been kind of moody lately."
The gasp that rose in your surprise was quickly smothered as you pressed yourself against the wall, pushing into it as if that would make you invisible somehow.
"Well, interestingly enough, there has been considerable growth in her chest area. It's due to elevated levels of estrogen and progesterone, which I've noticed with her." Spencer stopped abruptly, the sound of Morgan's muffled laughter in the background. "I'm not saying I make a habit of such observations. Okay, um, don't tell Hotch I said that."
Casting a skeptical eye down your shirt, your frown deepened. Sure, your boobs had grown, but that was a testament to a little happy relationship weight, not the fodder of their theories.
"Nice one, kid," came Rossi's voice, and you could almost see the smirk on his face.
"Oh my gosh, guys, this is like, the best news ever! A mini-agent in the making! Can you imagine how cute she's going to be? I'm going to get her the cutest outfits!"
"Garcia, how do you know it's going to be a girl? Did the baby send you a text?"
The baby? Was rational thought absent among them? It must be. You crossed your arms defensively.
"Okay, maybe we should pump the breaks everyone. Why do we even think she's pregnant in the first place?"
JJ—your voice of reason. You could kiss the ground she walked on.
"I'm just putting two and two together. She walked out, and there was a pregnancy test in the trash that wasn't there before."
Your eyebrows drew down, and the increasing shuffle from the room prompted you to make a beeline for Hotch's office before anyone saw you snooping. But in your defense, Emily snooped first.
The moment the door clicked shut, you lunged for the blinds, bypassing any attempt at a greeting with Aaron. The blinds clattered shut, so fast you nearly gave yourself whiplash.
"Honey, what are you—?"
His words hung unfinished as you whirled around, pressing your pointer finger to your lips as if he were a kindergartner about to walk down the hall.
"They think I'm pregnant!" you hissed indignantly, jabbing a finger toward the door as if it were a portal to the rumor mill itself.
His face drained of color as his eyes darted from your face, down to your stomach, and finally rested on your tits. "Are you?"
You slapped his shoulder. "No!"
"Then why do they think that?"
You recounted every piece of evidence they had collected, giving special attention to Spencer's bodily hypothesis as a subtle form of retaliation.
"He said what?"
You laughed, draping your arms around his neck as you made yourself at home on his lap. He leaned back in his chair, arranging you so your legs were stretched out across his lap.
"Focus," you said desperately. "They think I'm pregnant."
"Sweetheart," he chuckled, his hands finding their way to your waist. "Does it really matter what they're assuming?"
Your lower lip jutted out, fingers threading through your hair as you mulled it over.
"You're a genius." Your arms were around him in an instant once again, leaving a big, messy kiss on his cheek as you hopped down from his lap and strode towards the door.
Who cares if that's what they think?
So, you devoted your day to your greatest talent: stirring the pot. If they were set on believing you were pregnant, why should you interfere? Better yet, why not enjoy their theories and have some fun along the way?
You pulled every trick in the book.
In the morning, you bolted from the briefing room with a hand clamped over your mouth, you later reappeared, ginger ale and crackers in tow--which you knew JJ would understand. No one said a word.
In the afternoon, you turned up your nose when Emily offered you coffee, which in turn caused her eyes to bulge out of her head, but still she said nothing.
In the evening, you staged a sudden craving for the strangest of snacks, convincing Spencer of your dire need for pickles dipped in peanut butter. You sent him on a wild goose chase for it, and he did it, no questions asked.
All of these, as some would say--childish antics, lead to a big pile of nothing because no one was brave enough to just ask you.
So now that you were all gathered around Rossi's living room, with the day's efforts in vain, you were forced to drastic measures.
The wine glass was mere inches from your lips when the whole lot of them were up in arms--a blabbering, spiraling mess.
Garcia, her mouth a perfect 'o' of scandalized red, was quick to wrestle it from your grasp, hoisting it just beyond reach as Morgan promptly confiscated it, placing it atop the tallest bookshelf, as if you were a child meddling with contraband.
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you crazy?"
"What are you doing?"
"Hotch, do you see this?"
Their words bombarded you all at once, a rapid-fire of overlapping sentences that was impossible to decipher. A giggle escaped you, hand instinctively rising to your lips. Sure, you had braced for a reaction, but this was beyond anything you had imagined.
You played dumb, your head canting to one side as your brows contracted. "What?"
You basked in Aaron's exasperated eye roll, his hands coming together as if in prayer while he let you revel in the moment. He was a good man.
"What do you mean what? I love you so much, but you have to be out of your mind," Garcia probed, her hands clutching on to her necklace as she looked side to side at the others.
You opened your mouth, ready to provoke her further, but Spencer beat you to it.
"Given the potential impact on blood volume and plasma osmolality, it's really not advised to drink alcohol, considering your condition," he said, fidgeting with his tie while nodding to your belly.
"What condition?"
"Oh, come on! We found your pregnancy test in the trash today!" This time it was Emily speaking, her hands on her hips as she gave you a knowing glance. She quickly muffled her exclamation. "Hold on, you've told Hotch, right? If not, I'm prepared to get on my hands and knees and beg for your forgiveness if necessary."
"You all are ridiculous!" you declared, rising from the couch and moving toward your abandoned wine. Aaron was quicker, offering the glass to you. "I'm not pregnant, and if you nosy nellies had bothered to ask rather than speculate, you'd know that.”
You took a large gulp of your wine. For emphasis. Your colleagues' mouth hung agape, all but Rossi, who smirked and toasted to the absurdity with his whiskey.
"You heard us?"
"Reid, let's just say, I'd appreciate if you would reserve those observational talents for the case files, not on my girlfriend's anatomy," Hotch suggested, the warmth of his hand seeping through the fabric at your back as he casually sipped his scotch.
You watched Reid's complexion turn a spectrum of pink hues, his apology barely above a whisper as laughter bubbled around us.
"Wait so then whose pregnancy test did I find?" Emily's words caused a collective breath to catch, glances shifting suspiciously around the room.
JJ's hand shot up, laughing as Garcia barreled into her side, arms wrapping around her before she could even get the admittance out. The room buzzed with congratulatory cheers, everyone sharing hugs and kisses as JJ told the story.
Aaron chose that instant to lift his hand to his neck, his lips meeting yours in a kiss so gentle it turned your insides to jelly. He eased back, his breath mingling with yours as he mumbled, "you know, the idea of you pregnant...it's not something I'm opposed to."
You let out a soft giggle, nestling your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart bleeding into your ear. Your gaze drifted to your friends, toasting with raised glasses--minus JJ--with laughter and chatter filling the air.
"Is that so? Cravings, mood, boobs and all?"
You felt the rumble of his chuckle through his chest, the sensation tingling against your cheek. "All of it."
Rising onto your toes, you reached up to cradle his ear, lips grazing lightly against it. "How about we head home and practice? And then if you put a ring on it, I’ll consider it.”
That was the first time you had Irish goodbye-d a party.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x fem reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotcher fic#criminal minds#criminal minds fluff
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