#even tho I do think he and Sam get married when they grow up

[no-one-picked-maris]

Why I Think They Won't Re-Release Felicity (in any meaningful capacity)

Felicity's stories are very white and protestant in a very alienating way - and I say this as someone who related to her as a child. She's literally a member of the gentry, she's Samantha of the 18th century.

Fun Fact: In the earliest editions of Meet Felicity, rather than referring to Jiggy Nye's language as "not proper", it's referred to as "sinful". Felicity is also chided with reminding her that disobeying one's parent's is a sin. Oh, and this change:

Nan: "Then Mr. Nye called the horse a nag, and he said the devil could have it. And he said he would skin us alive if we ever came back!”

Nan: "Then Mr. Nye called the horse a nag, and he said anyone could take it if they could ride it. And he said he would skin us alive if we ever came back!”

Her hornbook:

(and the parentification)

Felicity and Kirsten share a very similar problem in the way they present history, they are literally the mascots for sanitized white people history. There are no black people in Kirsten's stories. Kirsten is literally Manifest Destiny: the Doll.

There's only one free man in Felicity's stories, Issac. Rose and Marcus are slaves. King's Creek is a plantation, a plantation left to Mother and the children when Grandfather dies (he knew they "loved it so.") Felicity is a slaveowner.

She's not reading Thomas Paine there guys.

I haven't read Felicity's Beforever series. I know they're abridged, and I know they didn't substantially change them. Felicity's relationship with her Grandfather, and his subsequent death, are integral to the series.

How do her central series present her slaveownership? It was ignored as some sort of background consequence of her possession of King's Creek. Like it's just a fact of life, with no need to remark upon it.

okay, and:

Felicity was the worst selling light skinned doll in the collection. Even worse than Kirsten whose sales got cannibalized by Kit after 2000.

I'm not sure if there's a consensus on why Felicity sold so poorly. Red hair, a dainty collection, not girly enough? Her class contemporary, Samantha, is widely agreed to be one of the most popular historical dolls AG released. So it's not class consciousness.

Both don't follow the rules of the time (being a tomboy, befriending people outside her class status):

Felicity only got a movie because Julia Roberts loved her.

Kirsten: Little House on the Prairie and All American History. This is the time of the Oregon Trail Game, after all. I lived on pioneer stories when I was little (1990s).

Samantha: Romanticized "victorian" era things were popular, and her clothing is pretty 1980s inspired. Look at it.

Molly: The Grandmothers' generation.

Is it Felicity's mob caps? She was the horse girl, and that wasn't enough. Was she frumpy, with her gowns rather than dresses? Her schooling - it's unrelatable. She's learning etiquette with Miss Manderly rather than struggling with Miss Campbell's times tables:

Her daddy owning a fucking general store and being prominent enough to provoke a reaction with his refusal to sell tea?

Her Beforever release was out for 2 years, releasing during the 2017 Doll Deluge or whatever we call it. She was gone by 2019. She got a doll, accessories, and undergarments. At least the latter were more period accurate.

you have to keep your trademark active.

Kirsten's unpopularity prior to archival is easily explained by the release of Kit, the decreasing popularity of pioneer stories, and the changing times.

Felicity was never popular at the outset.

Why?

Felicity's 35th Anniversary Edition was the first to sell out, but that can mean a lot of things. AG doesn't realize sales figures and stock figures. Selling out of 2,500 Felicity is relative to selling out of, say, 10,000 Samantha. Businesses order stock based on projected sales. I'd argue, without the benefit of the full statistical picture, that Felicity collectors are a small and passionate group.

They removed Felicity from catalogs in 2001, making her an online exclusive. Did sixty somethings use the internet at the turn of the century? Mine didn't! She wasn't worth the catalog space a year after American Girl was sold to Mattel. Pleasant was inspired by colonial Williamsburg to create AG. She wasn't enough to gamble a new doll line on. She had to wait until they had some footing. I'd argue Pleasant always knew Felicity would be a poor seller.

When Felicity was removed, I got Kit. She was my next favorite after Felicity and I related to her as a small child, too.

Which reminds me, Kit is responsible for a lot in the AG Historical Collection:

She was another blonde haired blue eyed doll, but with a more relatable collection, and easier to deal with hair:

Ta dah ^

I think Kit also a soft relaunch of Felicity:

In photos and brief:

wearing boys' clothing

close with their fathers

tomboys: with felicity being interested in footraces and racehorses, and kit being a newshound, lacking patience for Ruthie's princess stories (at first).

Kit was like a two-for-one special. I'd really like to see her sales stats compared to Felicity and Kirsten.

[anonymouspuzzler]

As a humble connoisseur of the Psychic 7 I'm curious if u have any headcanons for them ur particularly fond of, esp if maybe its something youve never rly seen other ppl hc/talk about (tho well agreed upon hcs are also the bees knees)

OH BABY LET'S HAVE A THINK I'LL TRY TO BRAIN A SOMETHIN FOR ALL THOSE WONDERFUL OLD PEOPLE. under cut for length and spoilers

Otto: I'm so with everyone who's like "oh he's so sus and fucked up wait no actually he's normal wait no he's so fucked up". I think his brain is probably a mess but like in a way where he's able to function from day to day. I feel like maybe he's also the kind of guy who like... how to put it. He sometimes has a hard time remembering that just because he's passionate about and invested in something, doesn't mean everyone else around him is going to be equally as passionate and invested. (Especially after the Psychic 7 started splitting apart and having their own issues - hard to pull him back down to earth when you're too busy having your own breakdown.) I also really like the idea of him being at least part-Grulovian and having met Lucy when they were much younger, hence being in contact with her when they started the Psychonauts.

Ford: That man bi and he and Otto are Divorced (they never married) (they barely dated) (they're divorced) (they're still dating). Now that I write it out I think maybe he only had pretty casual relationships until Lucy. It feels like she was maybe the first and last person he really considered Settling Down with - all the more reason for him to be hit so hard by losin' her. I also love the idea of him eventually trying to become a mentor to Frazie, specifically because she seems to have teleportation powers and I feel like he'd want to hand down his unique power and help her refine that, which would be funny because she seems to resent him more than any of the other Aquatos.

Bob: I always interpret him as having lived in the Gulch before the Psychonauts were even a thing - that was just his family home, eventually Ford and Otto and Lucy moved in, he started talking to them and that was that. (I think it'd be funny if he was like, their local food supplier when they started crashing in the woods, he just kinda knew them as regulars who'd buy a crate or two of veggies every week or so, and eventually he and Otto got to talking and what the fuck Otto realizes he's a psychic and the rest is history.) I also really like the idea of Truman visiting him in the Gulch a lot growing up - this is a bit of a tangent but I like the idea of Truman pushing to found Whispering Rock and/or the Intern program when he became Grand Head specifically because of his fond memories of visiting the Gulch and developing his powers under the tutelage of the Psychic 7.

Compton: I really like interpretations where he like - kind of mutually separated from his partner on good terms. (Maybe even did it in part so his Accidental Violent Escapades slash new life in the woods doing psychic research wouldn't have a negative impact on his kid(s).) By the same token this started out halfway as a joke but I like interpreting the lady running the cafeteria at the Motherlobe as his daughter; she's got just the right combo of Sass + Eccentricity plus apparently ferrets at home, and it just feels right to me that Sam would have, like - a parent that's an employee but not an agent, y'know? If that's the case, I feel like she probably had a kinda distant relationship from him growing up (in large part due to him Fucking Off Into The Woods) but made an active effort to reconnect now that she's an adult and especially once she had her own kids.

Helmut: I think the poor guy really missed his calling with the Psychonauts shifting from spy & agent work more towards education (as we see with stuff like Whispering Rock & the Intern program & the apparent interest in kinda training/tutoring the Aquatos post-2). Like, in a world where he didn't get frozen, he'd probably running or at least working at Whispering Rock, putting on big psychic performances with the kiddos. (Granted, he would've had to have make it through the 20 years of spywork, which I think would have been tough for him.) Also I bet Quentin has like an ancient limited-press vinyl of his that sold like, 5 copies, and is Starstruck if he ever meets him and Helmut gets a HUGE kick out of that.

Cassie: LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!! But ahem anyway where was I. I think one of the things she probably struggled with post-Grulovia (alongside uh. everything else. obviously) was probably, for lack of a better word, the like... legitimization of the Psychonauts? Like, much as she's very sweet and a natural mentor, Cassie's also rough around the edges; very much a do-what-you-gotta, anti-establishment type of gal. (love her for that.) I feel like suddenly having to work with The Government and go through official channels and be all organized and doing paperwork and reports and stuff probably rubbed her the long way and contributed to her feeling like she was getting left behind in the changes.

Lucy: This is all but text but like... I feel like Lucy probably had very mixed feelings about her decision to leave Grulovia. On the one hand, she got out of a place that was actively becoming more dangerous, out of a place where she was lonely and heartbroken after her husband's death, to this great new opportunity to use her powers and make lifelong friend and find a second chance at love with Ford. On the other hand, she had to leave behind a home she'd been in all her life and loved very much, in a time of great turmoil that she clearly feels she should have been able to do more about, and above all leaving behind her beloved sister. I wonder if maybe she tried to convince Marona to emigrate too and couldn't. I wonder if maybe part of what worsened her post-Astrolathe instability and made her suddenly rush back to Grulovia was that unconscious regret about leaving. Ain't no wonder she eventually broke, the poor thing.

[krikeymate]

I hold by the idea of Tara and Sam having a off childhood from the jump like the idea that their father would dip completely and not stay in contact with Tara, who as far as we know, is his biological kid, just reeks of “I’ve been searching for a valid way out that wouldn’t make me a complete deadbeat and you just gave me one.” He probably married Christina out of obligation since they were together in high school and fell out of love (if he was ever in) years ago. And I like the idea that Christina was always unstable and Sam was the solid foundation for Tara growing up. Sam leaving knocked Tara off balance and made it easier for someone like Amber to insert herself in Tara’s life (shout out to the tamber crowd tho no shade)

Anon I'm in love with you.

I've mentioned before that I had some really dark thoughts on how their childhood could have been, and I have decided I am going to explore some of them. I've kind of held off on them because they seem to focus more on Tara than Sam, and I don't want people to think I love Tara/Jenna more than Sam/Melissa, because that's just not true, I love them equally. I'm just very cautious of the Sam v Tara attitude that I've seen a lot of. My theories hurt both of them, just in very different ways.

I think you're spot on that Mr Carpenter married Christina out of obligation. Neither of them were in love with each other, they were just having fun, but well shit they're in this situation now. Maybe they were even prom king and queen, jock and cheerleader, a real stereotype. Maybe there was an expectation they would end up together anyway. Christina didn't want a fucking baby at 18 but she really did love Billy and now he's dead.

They make the best of it.

She puts her career aspects on hold, he works in sales and sometimes travels for work. Sam is an easy baby, all things considered. She's a deep sleeper and she rarely cries and it means Christina can continue living her life with barely any interruption. He doesn't care for children, but Sam is his and he can admit she's cute in the recesses of his mind. It works for them, they even settle into the role.

Then one day, Christina learns she's pregnant again.

Despite being relatively content with the life she's found herself in, she's not looking to add to it. She makes the mistake of talking about it with a girl friend over lunch, about how she doesn't want another baby. Sam, who should have been napping, is awake and hears and gets excited. It's all over from there. Her husband finds out and he's weirdly excited about it. He didn't pay attention the first time, content to let Christina do the parenting, but he's ready now. He loves Sam, and he can't wait for the baby.

The enthusiasm doesn't last long.

Tara is a difficult baby.

Born 10 weeks early, it takes a month in the ICU before they can bring her home. Sam nags her to see the baby daily, as if staring at the little thing in the basket sucking on a ventilator is worth wasting her time for. She has problems with her lungs from the get-go. And that's only the start of it. She cries, she doesn't want to feed, she won't sleep. There's constant hospital visits and check-ups with specialists. Her husband decides to go back to work early, escaping across the country, previous sentiments forgotten.

One day she just won't stop crying. She was crying when she left to pick up Sam from school, and she was still crying when she returned. The only thing that stops her from taking a pillow to its face is the sight of her daughter on her tiptoes, reaching through the bars to press chubby fingers to its cheek, cooing at the baby. The thing actually shuts up for once.

Christina offloads most of the parenting onto Sam.

Baby Tara is receptive to Sam because she's gentle and touches her and doesn't yell. Babies are sensitive to emotional cues.

By the time Sam is 10, Christina is gone most of the time, working, or not working, it's hard to tell.

They're both cheating on each other. He gets so mad about the Sam lie because of all the years he wasted stuck with her.

Tara starts pre-school a year late because neither of her parents remembered to enroll her. The school tried to put her in the grade she should be in, but quickly realised that wasn't going to work. Tara was smaller than the other kids, and with her health problems, they decided it was better to downgrade her a year.

Sam does her best to help Tara with school, but she doesn't know about learning disabilities or how to help her.

By the time their father left, Christina did nothing except drop off an envelope of money on the counter monthly and pay the bills. Sam learns to forge her mother's signature to sign off on Tara's medical needs.

[maxburnett]

Epilogue to Summer Heat, Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers

-(fem!reader x Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers)

Summary: A glimpse of the months following Steve leaving Reader for Peggy. This is a part 2/sequel/epilogue of this fic for @syntheticavenger's 5K Follower Challenge

Warnings: This is mild! Mostly Fluff with slight Angst. There's a hint at Bucky eating out his very pregnant girlfriend if you squint. Bucky is soft. Steve is an idiot. Bucky really loves reader. (I stuck at these I apologize. Contains very minor Loki spoilers. I wrote this in like a hour on my phone so I apologize for any typos etc)

Please reblog/share and comment. I love to read your reviews!

Word Count: 2,060

It had been nearly 5 months since you had found out that you were pregnant. You and Bucky were letting everything fall into place as you were getting ready for the birth of your baby. He had talked you into finding out the sex when it was born, despite you wanting to hurry up and find out. You closed your eyes as you sat on the couch, your legs propped onto a pillow as you rubbed your stomach as your baby kicked.

"He's good," he says with a smile. "God, you're so beautiful," he says, and you chuckle.

"I'm a whale, Buck," you say and throw a blueberry at him, which he catches with his mouth. "There's nothing beautiful about me," you snort, and he glares at you.

"I'm a whale, Buck," you say and throw a blueberry at him, which he catches with his mouth. "There's nothing beautiful about me," you snort, and he glares at you.

"Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that you're beautiful?" He asks, and you sigh. You just feel so fat and unattractive, but Bucky still stares at you the same way he did before he made the first move and kissed you all those months ago.

"I don't deserve you, Buck," you smile and move, so you are sitting beside him. "I honestly don't deserve everything you've done for the baby and me-" he cuts you off as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you gently into him, kissing your lips with a softness that made you get goosebumps every time.

"Our baby," he says into your lips.

"Our baby," you whisper back and smile as he stands up and takes your empty bowl to the sink, and comes back to lean down to kiss your chin where you had some chocolate. His lips move up to his, and you run your hands into his hair pulling him closer as he gently devours your lips with his own.

"Need to taste you," he says in a rough tone before pulling away. His hands reach down, taking both of yours. He helps you off of the couch and walks you back to the bedroom.

~ 2 Months Later~

You woke up one morning hearing the birds chirping outside of your window and smiled as Bucky came in, bringing you some toast with avocados and eggs on it. You eat the toast as he leans and kisses your stomach, softly singing his favorite song with his head gently lying on your huge tummy.

You giggle as you listen to him singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" as you close your eyes and remember your first kiss during "The Wizard of Oz" all of those months ago. You play with his hair, looking down at him, wondering how you got so lucky to have a guy like Bucky. Your eyes close for a moment. You can't help but think of Steve. You hate that he left you, you hate that he chose to be with another woman; but why couldn't you hate him?

If he had known you were pregnant, you know he would've stayed. Wouldn't he?

"Hey doll, you okay?" You heard Bucky ask, and you looked down at him. You smile as you nod your head down at him. You take a deep breath.

"I was just thinking about Steve ... not necessarily the bad stuff. I just ..." you couldn't find the words. "He just would have been a good father," you say softly.

"You're right," he smiles and looks up at you. "He was a good man," he whispers and closes his eyes. "I just ... wish he would've handled all of this differently. He should've talked to you," he said, his fingers gently moving over your tummy. You smile. His singing was always something that could calm the baby's kicking down.

When he moves to lay down beside you, pulling you as close as he could as he rested his head on your shoulder and his hand on your stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment and bit at his lip.

"At the funeral, he asked me if I liked you," Bucky whispered. He'd never talked to you about this before. "He said he saw something about the way we looked at each other. He wanted to know if I had feelings for you,"

You bit your lip as you listened to Bucky, and you placed your hand over his.

"I didn't lie to him. I told him the truth. I'm sorry if me telling him that caused him to leave," he said, and you place your finger over his lips.

"Bucky, even if I do miss him sometimes ... even if I do still love him. There's nothing like the love I have for you," you whisper and run your fingers through his hair. "This baby was made with Steve ... and even tho we told each other 'I Love You,' It is fate that you and I go through this with our baby."

Bucky looked up at you, his blue eyes beginning to tear up, and you smile as you run your fingers gently into his hair before you wiped at his face with your fingers.

"I love you so much," you say down to him.

"I love you," he says back as he kisses your stomach and looks up at you with his head resting against your tummy again.

"Let's get married," he says, and you look down at him about to say something. He smiles up at you. "I know it's not an ideal proposal," he chuckles. "But I don't want to wait, and I don't even have a ring ... but I can get one. I just want to marry you, and I want to grow old with you and our baby,"

"Let's get married," you say back with a smile. "We can just do it in the courthouse... I don't need anything but you, Buck. Maybe we can get Sam to come," you say, and he smiles as he pulls away and moves his dog tags from his neck to yours.

"Let's get married," he says again and kisses your lips.

Steve had promised Peggy that he would stop by the grocery store he walked out of the store with his paper bags and looked around as things began to freeze in time. He looked around strangely as everything began to move in slow motion. Holographic doors began to show around him, and three guards came out with guns and walked towards him.

One of them stepped towards him and looked down at something in their hand.

"Steve Rogers, on behalf of the Time Variance Authority. I hereby arrest you for crimes against the sacred timeline."

Before he had a chance to speak, he was zapped away with the strange people and was put on trial. He honestly thought this was some kind of joke. How had he messed with the timeline?

"You must be Captain America," a voice said from behind him. He was holding a file and stood to walk towards him. "I'm Mobius," he said.

"Why am I here?"

"You messed up the Timeline by going back in time to be with Peggy Carter," Mobius replied. "We figured we would give you the chance to fix things. Follow me," he said, and Steve sighed, following after the man.

He stopped at an area, and Steve turned towards a vast place with darkness, but soon the darkness lit up. He saw you and Bucky in front of him.

He saw how the two of you had fallen in love, and something inside him twitched as he saw how you looked at Bucky. It was a way she never looked at him before. Then he watched the night she had called him asking him to pick something up for her, and he gasped.

"I wouldn't have left if I had known," Steve finally spoke.

Mobius looked over at the blonde and shook his head. Then looked back at the screen.

"You need to make a decision. But know one thing, them falling in love was always supposed to happen. It would have happened if you would've stayed," he said, causing Steve to look at the screen. "We normally don't do this, but we will give you time to figure out what you want. You can stay here ... you can let them live their lives. Or you can finally man up and admit that going back into time to be with a woman you only kissed once was a stupid thing to do,"

Bucky smiled as he kissed your head as your 6-week old baby girl, Isabella Rose rested on your chest. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and you didn't look any better.

"I still can't believe she's here," he smiled, looking down at the sleeping baby. "Here, let me take her. I want you to get some sleep," he said as he softly took her and stood up from the bed and walked her to her nursery, and laid her down.

"Hey sweet pea," Bucky says as he winds up the mobile and Isabella glances up at him and he swore she smiled before looking at the mobile. "All of this is new to me. But I promise I'm going to take care of you and mommy. It's going to be the three of us to the end of the line," he whispered and looked up at the mobile where he and you had hung Steve's dog tags that he had left behind. "Your daddy would love you so much. I miss him and I know mommy misses him too. You have his eyes and his hair. But hopefully, you aren't as hardheaded," he smiles and runs his fingers through her blond hair. "Go to sleep sweet pea,"

He came back into the bedroom and smirked, seeing you were already asleep, and he laid beside you and wrapped an arm around you.

He woke up a few hours later; Isabella was crying. He headed into the room and picked her up, comforting her with a smile.

"Daddy's here," he said as she wrapped her hand around his ring finger, and he smiled seeing her little fingers close to his wedding band. "Daddy's always gonna be here," he said, rocking her softly. He heard a knock on the door and carried Isabella carefully towards the door and opened it slowly.

Steve stood behind the door. He had a hand on the back of his neck as he looked out at his best friend holding his daughter just as you walked into the room.

"Buck, who's at the door?" You ask before you freeze as Bucky moves to the side, and Steve is standing there looking from you to Bucky and down at the little blonde-haired girl in Bucky's arms.

"Bucky, turn around," you say, and he backs away from you and turns his back, and holds Isabella close.

"How dare you!" You say as you slap Steve once and then again. "You left!" You say, and he reaches his hands out to grab ahold of yours. It's when he sees the rings on your finger.

"Y/N. I'm sorry. If I would've known, I wouldn't have left," he says, and you feel the tears building in your eyes.

"But you left Steve ... you left. You said you loved me, and you left," you shook your head. "I loved you, and you left," you said as you began to hit his chest before collapsing into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he said as he held you close against his chest. "I came back ... I came back," he said against your head. "I know you and Bucky are together ... but I have to be here for her," he said, and you look up at him and feel his fingers wiping your eyes.

"Can I hold her?" Steve asks, his voice slightly cracking.

"Yes," you whisper and have him sit down on the couch as you motion for Bucky to take Isabella over to Steve. He hands Isabella over carefully, and she looks up at the strange man and wiggles a little in his arms as tears roll from Steve's blue eyes down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I left you, little Angel, but daddy's never leaving you again," Steve said as he leaned and kissed her head and took in the smell of his daughter for the very first time.

Tagging:

@syntheticavenger @bitchassbucky @belladonnabarnes @stcrrynightsinneverlcnd @onceuponabarnes @fairyevans @balenciagabucky @honeysucklesteve @faeryloki @fuckandfluff @bibbidibobbidibucky @buckyblues @bloomingbucky @buckyssimp @mickey-henry @fluffycutecevans @midnightf @fallinforevans @buckys-blue-eyes @lokiscollar

[gay-salt-amber]

Thank you so much! Can I request more? Maybe in the idea of the kids growing up as friends even as students?

I like to think Jamil's just trying to make sure his kid(s) is/are safe

You can request as much as you want! Thanks for all the asks

So, a lot of the kids first met in like kindergarten/grade school or on field trips

The one with the most kids is prolly Leoruggie and Jamikali which isn't even that many its like 3-2 kids

And yeah, you're right in your ask of Jamil just wanting to make sure his kids safe. Especially when the kids hang out with the Leoruggie fam since Ruggie is more lenient on rules (there's still some rules tho) he just wants the kids to have fun and have the life that Ruggie never got to have and Leona just thinks its funny

Jamil on the other hand has to baby-proof the house and has to get after Kalim every once and a while for spoiling their kid to much

Lilia is just everyone's favorite grandpa/uncle/whatever title

Rook and Vil's kid does his friends makeup when they go out to party

the whole squads theme is "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time" (Totally not cuz I'm listening to it while typing this ;w;)

Riddle x Floyd x Cater... Their child is the definition of chaotic mom friend

Because of this Trey x Jade's kid is the actual responsible one and stops the squad from being overly stupid

Floyd has slid a couple kids teensy bits of alcohol on their 16th birthdays when nobody was looking

Oh Great Seven, you better PRAY for NRC when those kids get there, the only one who can put up with them is Sam since hes the youngest

The Ramshackle dorm becomes their dorm away from dorm (home away from home?) while at NRC and the amount of partying they do you'd be surprised the place hasn't burned down... No wait, they burnt a hole in one of the walls once... Meh its not the whole dorm :>

Idia x Azul x Malleus 's kid definitely helped their whole squad cheat on a test once, they didn't get caught and they felt like they were walking on egg shells all week

Everyone was balling their eyes out at high-school graduation, Jamil was just crying on Kalim's shoulder like, "shut the fuck up, don't mention this EVER again." Same thing with Leona and Ruggie

Rookvil got married when the kids were toddlers and the photos of all the kids in lil wedding clothes and Rookvil's kid as a flower kid in a little frog costume (Epel picked it) we're the CUTEST thing

When Riddle and his boyfriends first adopted their kid(s) Riddles panickily went to everyone else (who had already adopted/had kids) from NRC and asked how to be a good parent cuz his mom sure as hell didn't do a good job at that

The kids go apple picking with Epel, the kids have mini baskets

Once Leoruggie and Jamikali's kid were in a high-school class talking about royalty stuff and their teacher who was from a place where magic wasn't really used nor was royalty normal started laughing thinking they were lying

They were proved wrong later that year

Najma is definitely the cool wine aunt and everyone loves her (as they should u-u)

They all grew up with the understanding that gender norms don't mean shit since at least one (if not both) of their parents are trans, genderfluid, NB, etc. a good example of this is Leoruggie's kids and Leona will beat up transphobes who call him a woman or his child by the wrong gender

So y'know how Idia likes cats? Yeah his and whoever else's kid who has a cat takes their kids out on leashes around town and its hysterical to anyone passing by

None of those kids are straight

So much "Oh, Great Seven no!" and, *Silently watching to see if their stupidity works out so they can join* coming from the parents

Since a lot of my ships are, "Calm one(s) trying to control chaotic one(s)" its the same thing when they get a kid just x2

Sometimes they do google meet/discord call parties and their parents come in to just hear one of the other kids saying, "What if I don't have a dick or balls?" (got that from Mommy Princess Angel) over video

The kids do spa days together with the Rook and Vil, they tried to get Epel in on it but yeah..... no

A lot of them start to work at the lounge when they get into NRC

I'm not saying which kid, Floyd x Cater x Riddle but one of them stole Jafar's staff from his statue in NRC and EVERYONE looked for it for like a week and then it just... reappeared

On the rare occasions they punish their kids for stuff Jamil sometimes has to be reminded by Kalim that, "keep in mind we mainly Kalim did chaotic stuff like this when we were their age, go easy on them." Jamil and the kids appreciate that

Farena has very little interaction with the Leoruggie kids since Ruggie just doesn't want to have to deal with Leona and his brother having screaming matches. The kids spend a lot of time with Cheka though!

I feel like Kalim tends to apologize for things that aren't his fault, but he doesn't do it as much as he did when he was younger... one or more of Jamikali's children got this habit

They def do karaoke together

Family BBQ's are a MUST for them

Once Jamikali's kid got really sick and Jamil was COVINCED that the food was poisoned and that he was a bad dad for not taste testing the food and Kalim said, "Sweetheart, you made everything, its not poisoned."

-----

Welp! Theres some headcanons for ya! Hope you like them u-u I baked them myself :D -Amber

[wienerbarnes]

Much Ado About Nothing (5/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,747

Warnings: none! wedding stuff? 

A/N: happy new year yall hope everyone had a safe one! das all imma say tho im keeping my mouth shut about 2021 i aint risking shit anyway enjoy this chapter :P

MAIN MASTERLIST | MUCH ADO MASTERLIST

For being given a week, the ballroom looks immaculate. Satin drapes and tablecloths of cream and white cover the room, gold and olive green accents strewn throughout. The handful of tables in the room have large centerpieces of small white flowers, thin branches, and delicate leaves, as well as a lace trim around the vase they rest in. A warm toned light makes the room look bigger than it is and the dancefloor welcoming for everyone.

The wedding guests include the team, of course, some of Sharon’s family that were able to make it in such short notice, and anyone’s dates were welcomed. Sam brought a date himself, Sharon extended the invitation to some agents she’d been training over the last few months, and she told you invite those who worked in the lab with you.

She insisted, in fact.

Sharon banished you and Nat to the ballroom, while she finished getting ready, wanting to have a few minutes by herself before the wedding started. You assume Steve felt similarly when you see Sam and Bucky enter the ballroom and merge together with the rest of the team. You linger by the bar, hoping to get a bit of liquid courage before the party starts, but to your dismay, the bar doesn’t open until after the ceremony.

You also don’t want to take a seat because you’ll be one of Sharon’s bridesmaids, along with Nat. You and her wear matching warm brown dresses with a slit on the side, tying in with the neutral and woodsy tones going on throughout the rest of the wedding. Sam and Bucky wear brown bow ties and you assume they’re taking the role of Steve’s groomsmen. You pray you don’t have to walk with Bucky.

As more and more people take their seats, you find Nat and meet the other boys at the back of the room.

“Sam already claimed me.” She tells you cheekily as she loops her arm through Sam’s bent elbow.

Of course he did. You sigh and begrudgingly loop your own arm through Bucky’s as he smirks. While the group of you wait for the music to start to indicate your time to begin walking, you take in the man standing next to you.

He smells crisp and clean, his cologne smelling fresh and flooding your senses with lavender, rosemary, and cedarwood. His bicep is ginormous in your hand and you can feel the warmth radiating off of him through his suit jacket that he wears. He cleans up really nicely. Not that you’ll tell him, but you’ll definitely be thinking about it for the rest of the night.

Bucky’s mind goes through a similar thought process. Your skin is shiny and smooth, and he imagines you applied lotion while getting ready with the other girls. Maybe there hints of glitter in whatever cream you use, because to him, it looks like you’re glowing. You smell like the sweetest of roses and juiciest of fruits, and you look good enough for him to take a bite. He won’t give you the satisfaction of a compliment - God knows the argument that would lead to - but he imprints this vision of you in his mind to remember.

Finally, Steve enters the ballroom and makes his way towards the front of the room and any few people left standing take their seats. As people settle, Steve adjusts his jacket and glances over the room to take in all of his loved ones in one room. He glances over to where John sits alongside Leila and Kennedy, the two other lab interns that work under you, he’s come to learn about. He briefly wonders what John is thinking about, if he thinks his plan worked, if he thinks Steve is going to cause a huge scene in front of everyone, accusing Sharon of cheating in some big explosion. He wonders what John’s reaction will be when he witnesses him marry the most beautiful woman in the world, kissing her to solidify their love.

He can’t wait.

Soon enough the music starts and Nat and Sam begin down the aisle, you and Bucky following after. For someone that has hated the idea of love for so long, walking down the aisle like this feels really great. You’re not sure if it's the anticipation for the bride, or the decorations, or the huge hunk of handsome soldier guiding you down to the front of the room, but it makes you feel tingly all over. Almost makes you want a wedding of your own. Almost.

As Bucky makes his way down the aisle with you on his arm, he meets Steve’s eye, who gives him a smirk that looks a lot like I told you so. He ignores it, though. He knows he’ll get picked on later, but for now, he enjoys having you so close to him. You’re close to him outside of the lab, outside of a mission, outside of an argument. You’re close to him, holding onto his arm like you’re his girl in a sweet silence. He can almost get used to this. Almost.

Once everyone’s in their place, the rest of the guests rise as the music changes and Sharon enters the ballroom. Her dress is beautiful; a lacy brassiere top to connect the flowing train, all of the silk following her walk, making her elegant and glowing. Her hair is lightly curled and there are a few white flowers pinned around the back of her head, matching the rest of the room.

The officiant reads everything they have to and Steve and Sharon share their vows, causing everyone in the room to shed a tear or two. Nat and Sam find it particularly amusing to see you and Bucky wipe a few tears as well, seeming to get foggy eyed in spite of their hatred for love. They’re too busy silently teasing their friends to notice the fume coming from John’s ears, realizing his plan didn’t work the way he wanted it to.

There’s still time, he thinks. Maybe Steve didn’t want to make a big, public fuss. Yeah, once everything is over, he’ll take her upstairs and they’ll talk and soon enough they’ll announce that they’re marriage is over! Shorter than the Kardashians.

Finally, Steve and Sharon kiss to seal their marriage, sharing their official first kiss as husband and wife. Cheers and clapping erupt in the room as the couple makes their way back down the aisle, Nat, Sam, you, and Bucky following after. The lights dim a bit and the bar opens as the music changes to encourage people to mingle and dance until the couple emerges once more.

“What’s the matter, don’t like weddings?” You tease John, coming up behind him, your voice making him jump from leaning against the bar the way he was.

“Uh - No, not really.” He says, turning to face you, feeling awkward as he talks to his boss after trying to sabotage her best friend’s wedding.

“They grow on you.” Bucky’s deep voice makes him jump once more as it comes behind him, forcing him to turn away from you and face him, staring at his towering stance.

“Uhm -” John stumbles as he realizes he’s cornered against the bar by you and Bucky.

“Did you really think you’d get away with it? I mean, you’re surrounded by spies and an artificial intelligence system that records everything in the tower.” Bucky tells him.

John’s eyes widen as they glance between you and Bucky, realizing where he went wrong in his plan. I should’ve figured out a way to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y.! Or at least get rid of any footage of what I did!

“Not to mention the fact that Steve and Sharon are too disgustingly in love with each other to even fall for the kind of charade you put on. In my lab, nonetheless,” You add, “Some kind of unfunny joke by an ex-lab intern.”

“Ex?” John confirms.

“Oh, yea. Leila and Kennedy, too. I don’t want to waste my time training and giving experience and advice to the kind of people that lie, play around, and cause mischief in a lab and in a tower where some of the most important and delicate information in the world is handled. If I wanted that, I’d have Barnes, here, as an intern.” You tell him.

“Hey, I thought we were on the same team here -” Bucky tries to interject, but you smack his arm to get him back into the focus of their conversation with John.

“Anyway,” Bucky continues, “Why don’t you do us the favor of getting out of here? We’ll tell Steve and Sharon that you’re sorry you weren’t feelin’ well and had to head out early. Unless, you’d like for me to get them and bring ‘em over here?” He slings an arm over John’s shoulder, leading him over to one of the exit doors, as John nods his head in agreement, accepting his defeat.

Once John has left and the wedding is officially safe again, Bucky meets you back at where you wait at the bar.

“Nice job, McGeek.” He tells you, leaning on the bar next to you as you turn to face him better.

“Could say the same to you. He looked real scared there at the end.” You giggle.

“He should be, he almost got Steve’s ass kicked by me when Sharon first told us the whole situation.” Bucky tells you, leaning just a bit closer to you.

The bartender comes over to them asking what they’d like to drink. “Whiskey, neat, please. How bout you, Geeky?” Bucky says.

“Vodka cran.” You order.

“Really? That’s your drink of choice?” Bucky teases.

“What? What’s wrong with it?”

“Well, I thought you’d pick a drink that’s actually good, is all.”

“And here I was revelling in the fact that this was the longest conversation we’ve had where we’re not at each other’s throats.” You tell him.

“Well -” Bucky’s cut off by the dimming of the lights and change in music as Sharon and Steve enter the room again to share their first dance.

His words are forgotten as he watches his best friend dance with his bride, the two of them looking happier than Bucky’s ever seen. Bucky feels a smile bloom on his own face as he watches on; he’s so happy for Steve. He knows this is all he’s ever wanted. The girl, the marriage, the house together, the kids in the future. The happy ending. And he’s happy that despite things - or people - trying to get in the way of that, Steve still got the happy ending he deserves.

He peeks over to see you have a similar smile, admiring the love shared between your best friend and his. He gets lost staring at you as the DJ is heard inviting anyone else to join the newlyweds on the dancefloor.

He asks before his brain can filter his mouth, “Do you want to dance?”

Your head snaps over at him, a surprised expression on your face, and Bucky prepares for you to make fun of him.

“Sure.” You tell him.

He doesn’t risk saying anything that might change your mind, only grabbing your hand softly and leading you to the dancefloor where other couples have begun to fill in. The slow music continues as his hands find their place on the curve of your waist and yours rest on the tops of his shoulders. He feels warmth and tingles flow from the placement of your hands through his suit jacket, down his arms, and through his entire body. He looks at you and how close your face is to his, quite enjoying having you so close in his arms like this.

“Do you remember what we were talking about last night?” She finally breaks the silence.

He hums in indication that he does and for her to continue, “So, you really don’t hate me or anything?” You ask.

“No. I don’t. Actually,” He chuckles humorlessly, “I know you like me.” He confesses.

Tension floods your body. How does he know?! “No, I don't! Not anymore than reasonable, I mean.” You deny.

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his body still swaying with yours with the music, “Oh. Well, you have Steve and Sam fooled, then, because they, uh, had me convinced.” He tells you, trying to play off his incorrect assumption.

“Do you like me?” You ask, drawing yourself just a bit closer to him, his arms moving from your waist to the small of your back.

“Uh, no, no more than a friend, I mean.” Bucky lies.

“Oh. Well, you have Sharon and Nat fooled, as well.” You tell him.

The two of you chuckle softly with each other at the whole situation, an attempt to hide the disappointment in each of your chests at the thought of unrequited feelings. Bucky glances back up to meet your eyes once more, eyes flickering down to look at your lips, in time to see you take your bottom lip into your mouth with your teeth. He looks back up at your eyes to catch you staring at his own lips. When your eyes meet his again, it's as though the two of you have a silent understanding. An understanding that you were both lying, and an understanding that you both really want to kiss each other right now.

So he does. Bucky leans in seemingly at the same time you do and presses his lips against yours in a sweet yet fiery kiss. His hands push a little harder into your back to bring you closer and your hands move to touch his neck and cheek, ensuring that his face won’t leave yours anytime soon. Everyone in the room has since disappeared; there are no wedding guests, there are no decorations, there is no music, only you and Bucky.

His lips are soft, softer than you were expecting, and he tastes of peppermint and the sip of whiskey he had, all mixed with a taste that’s so him. His taste and his smell and the feel of his hands on your back and his chest against yours makes you want to melt to the ground in a puddle of mush. You can’t believe you waited so long to kiss him.

Your lips are plump and soft. Your lipstick is fruity but he can taste the sweetness of cranberry behind it and a sweetness that’s all you. You’re the rarest candy he’s ever tried and he’s not sure he’ll ever get enough of it. A part of his mind wants to ignore that they’re still in public, though it certainly doesn’t feel like it, and just kiss you silly for the rest of time.

The two of you finally pull away after what feels like forever and you both can’t help but lick at your own lips, savoring the taste of each other. Before either of you can say anything to follow what just happened, another voice interrupts, “About time.”

You both turn to see Tony and Pepper, her with an admiring smile and Tony with a shit-eating grin. The two of you feel warm as you realize the rest of your friends that occupy the dancefloor are also staring at the both of you. Nat smirks from her place in Bruce’s arms, Sam winks at Bucky over the shoulder of his date, and Sharon and Steve are almost on the verge of happy tears at the sight of their best friends finally getting to be happy with each other. Even Clint and his wife smile at the two of you.

“What are you guys looking at, huh? Never seen a guy and gal dance together?” Bucky barks, Brooklyn accent slipping out as he chooses to pretend none of them saw the kiss that you and him shared.

“Not you two.” Steve says.

“Oh, whatever! What are you guys, five years old?” Bucky asks only to be met with his friends giggling.

“Whatever. Make fun of us all you want. I don’t care.” You speak up, curling your hands around the back of Bucky’s neck.

He looks back at you to meet your kind eyes with a gentle smile. Their friends continue to tease on, but you and Bucky only have eyes for each other. He ignores them and chooses to kiss you again, already craving the taste of your lips on his and the feel of your body in his arms.

[catsplushellhounds]

favorite headcanons (and theorys?) of glee that i created

i was thinking if i really was going to write this, but im bored so lets go, this got so long and i am so sorry (not really it was fun and i liked it, if you like big metas you probably gonna like this)

*this can have some triggers for some people because i will be talking about bullying, abandonment, depression and violence*

(also i would like to say that most of this are things that i like to believe happened, and idk if the rest of the fandom agrees or if someone said it before and this is all blaine related, i left it glee on the title because it sounded better idk)

- blaine's dad is filipino and he left after blaine came out

i know that blaine said he was there in shooting stars, but hear me out

first of all, to me his name is tod anderson, dont ask me why it just makes sense and i like how it sounds.... so

in sexy, blaine tells burt that his dad tried many times bonding with him, but apparently that didnt work, because he also says "you think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? i think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." and after 4x18, he is never mentioned again? and he wasnt on his son's wedding too

so my theory here is that he never accepted that blaine is gay, and all of his "efforts of bonding" were actually because he thought he could "fix" blaine, and when that didnt worked he left, (that also explains blaine's abandonment issues) but he did came back im the shooting episode because he felt guilty for what he did, but after he saw it was a false alarme he went back on pretending he didnt have a gay son

to be really honest sometimes i pretend that his dad wasnt on the shooting day because i feel that it doesnt fit that well into this and i really like this one because its kinda obvious to me that blaine have daddy issues??? so usually i just put on my character-backstory that blaines dad left after he came out and never came back

for the first year that he was gone, blaine spended every night trying to contact him. sometimes he just texted, but most of the times he called and left a message crying begging him to come back and tell him what he'd done that made his father hate him so much, his dad never called or texted back

- blaine's parents

(im not sure if this is canon but blaine's mom is named pam)

i know that technically i've already talked about blaine's family when i was talking about his dad but that is so complex i felt i had to do a topic exclusive for that

i believe blaine has and always had a good relationship with his mother, yes she was usually gone because she works selling a really famous cosmetic line she created (to me the andersons are a really known name) that would explain how blaine could study in a school like dalton (he said so himself that dalton isnt a school that anyone could afford), and why she is never there

but despite her being busy with her job, she always tried to keep im touch with blaine, texting him, and calling and skyping

blaine always missed her, but he tried to not make her feel guilty about working too much, because she loves her job

sometimes he got really depressed, because he wished she could be there to see him sing with his friends, or just be there so that he could hang out with his mom like all of his friends did with their parents

his das was a businessman, i dont know why it just fits to me, also idk what kind of business because i dont understand any of it so thats up to imagination

before he came out, he and his dad were super close, sure his dad a lot of the time was busy but he was at home more than his mom, his dad was the one that introduced him to liking sports, and they always watched games together (cooper would join in too) and his dad always let him have a sip of his beer, blaine always loved those moments and his dad was like a hero to him, he was sure that coming out to him would be easy, because he would love him no matter what

all of the andersons have always been brodway babys, all 4 of them liked to sing, tod was a little bit more serious and didnt dance around the house like cooper, blaine and pam but he enjoyed seeing them having fun

the andersons were like the perfect family of the neirbourhood, all 4 of them are very good looking, talented and educated so yes everybody thought they were perfect

they all lived in the philippines until blaine was 5, and then moved to ohio because tod got a really good job offer there

after blaine came out, his parents argued A LOT. tod would ask himself and pam of what he had done wrong and pam would say its nobodys fault and thats just how blaine is

(to me that was the time tod was revealed to be an asshole and not long after he divorced pam and stoped talking to all of them, except for cooper, he and cooper still talked)

- blaine's bullying

the bullying blaine went through was a lot like kurt's, people laughing at him, shoving him around, beating him up, etc

he tried putting a brave face through it but he started losing all of his light, even more when all of his complains didnt matter at all

it only got sort of better when he met skylar (thats the kid he went to sadie hawkings with, i read in a fic that was his name and stuck with me so im calling him skylar)

skylar was going through the same thing he was, and one time blaine saw him getting shoved at lockers, and helped him pick up his books and thats were they started talking

maybe they liked each other, they never got to find out because after the bash, skylar never spoke to blaine again

blaine was in a 2 week coma after getting beat up, and the first thing he said when he woke up was "where's my dad" and his mom had to gently tell him his das was not there. that was when blaine realized he actually meant nothing to his dad and that broken him even more

he was bashed about 3 months after his father left him, and for the rest of that school year he was homeschooled by a teacher his mother hired

- blaine joining dalton and the warblers

so, since blaine is a year younger than kurt, in my head goes sorta of like this

he came out when he was 13, that was the time he was bullied, beaten up abandoned and homeschooled, and he joined dalton when he was 14, but to be a warbler he had to be a little older than that, so he had to audition to join (im guessing you dont have to audition to be a warbler, just to have a lead, i mean kurt didnt auditioned, right?) and and trent auditioned together, they became friends and were roomates (dalton is a boarding school DONT @ ME EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS TRUE)

it took blaine a while to take the step to audition, because he was still scared, but wes and david helped him and gave him a little seed of the confidence he pretends to have later on, but when he sang for the warblers for the first time they were all blowed away by how good was his singing voice even if he was only 14

after he felt comfortable in the warblers, he became friends with nick and jeff, and they were a trio of dumbassess, wes and david (usually the most mature of all the warblers) sighed everytime they saw nick, jeff and blaine doing something stupid

trent joined in sometimes but he always had been a really chill dude, and he saw blaine as a older brother (even tho blaine is younger than him)

jeff, nick and blaine pulled pranks on wes and david like hiding stuff from them and act all inocent when they asked if they saw said thing

the warblers had a bet going on how long would it take for kurt and blaine to start dating (and yes all of them shipped klaine, and even after kurt and blaine went to mckinley the warblers still kept hearing about them and seeing them on jacob ben israel's blog)

jeff, nick, trent, wes and david were the only real friends blaine had there

wes and david has already gratuated when the slushie happened, and nick, jeff and trent all apologized to blaine after that (even though they had no idea that was gonna happen) but their friendship was never the same

- blaine and cooper's relationship

as we know, blaine and cooper didnt got very along when blaine was growing up, cooper is 9 years older than blaine, and has always been really hard on him and thaat made blaine really dislike cooper, even tho he really wanted for them to be friends, he always has bitter feelings towards him duo to all of the pressure and expectation he was under because cooper was the oldest, and blaine felt like he had to be just as good or better than him, so he also had a lot A LOT of jealousy

but that started to change after "big brother", when they talk things out, cooper finally realizes how blaine feels, and starts doing his best to be best brother to blaine

they dont become besties immediatly, blaine helps him with his audition (which makes kurt really proud and happy seeing cooper being all excited talking to blaine, while blaine is trying to pretend like hes cool but actually hes just as excited), and they start to talk more and more after that

after finn dies is when they start getting actually close, after the funeral, he calls cooper but dosent say the reason why, he just says that he loves him and that he misses his big brother, they call and talk to each other a lot more after cooper finds out about finn

when cooper has a son, he and blaine teach the little guy how to dance and they play a lot of happy and fun piano songs to him

- the anderhummel family

blaine and burt are actually really close, they both like sports and beer so they watch games together and bet about whos gonna win, burt sorta of became the dad blaine lost, but in a non weird way, because they both agreed that blaine calling burt "dad" after he married kurt was just... weird

finn and blaine played a lot of videogames together, sam and puck played with them too, but when kurt was helping on dinner or more interested in a magazine or trying to convince carole to let him do a makeover on her, finn and blaine played videogames and maybe sometimes gossip about kurt and rachel (after he became besties with sam he did that same thing but hey playing videogames and talking about your s/o is fun!)

carole took care of blaine when he was in the hospital for the eye surgery, and when he was hangover at kurt's after biota she helped him with all the vomiting and headaches and all of that

pam met carole and burt when blaine got slushied, blaine was already like family to the hudson-hummels at that point, so when burt found out what happened he ran to the hospital, (carole was already working there anyway) and thats where they met, it wasnt ideal and all of them wete stressed and worried but they got along pretty well

pam, burt and carole werent really close since pam was usually out working, but the few times they sat down to talk to each other they really liked. pam thinks burt and carole are a sweet couple, that raised two wondeful boys and burt and carole think that pam is a sweet and funny lady, they all exchanged embarassing stories about kurt and blaine (that made them go "MOM DONT TELL THEM THAT" or "DAS STOP I WAS 7")

pam absolutely adores kurt, he was fascinated when he found out she had a line of cosmetics and spended hours talking to her about skincare routines

blaine can always make carole laugh, she thinks hes a sweetheart and usually keeps burt from bursting into the room when the door of kurts bedroom is closed ("i told them already, leave at least 2 inches open, is that really so hard??" "honey, relax they're just watching a movie" "im going in there" "no you're not leave the boys alone")

burt has walked in a few times on klaine making out on the couch and he always makes a joke about it to not make it awkward

burt was thrillled to know he was gonna be a grandpa, and he spoils tracy anderson to OBLIVION (blaine doesnt argues because he sorta of does the same thing)

even after both breakups, burt and blaine had always kept in touch, maybe it wasnt what it used to be when he and kurt were still mad at each other, but once they go back being friends, blaine is a little more comfortable in hangin out with the hudson-family

- blaine's depression in s6

i think is canon thay blaine had depression and anxiety during the whole show, right? it just got worse in s6 because kurt breaking up with him was sort of what pulled the trigger

it begun when his father neglected him, and it only got worse and worse, he was abandoned by his father and sometimes felt like by his mother and brother too, he had anxiety and it got worse after sadie hawkings, then kurt and him broke up for the first time, and he kept bottling it all up until it all reached the boiling point and it all exploded when kurt broke up with him

(side note, i think that when kurt started pulling away from him in s6, it reminded him of his dad pulling away too, his dad tried to bond with him but i feel that as harder blaine tried to make his dad stay, didnt matter and his dad kept pulling away until he was gone, that makes a parallel to s6 breakup, and why blaine was trying so SO hard to make kurt stay, because he had been there before, and he wasnt good enough for his dad, and he really wanted to be good enough for kurt)

so, after they breakup, blaine stays in a cheap hotel, not getting out of bed and feeling empty inside, his phone buzzed a little with missing calls from his friends but at some point the batery died and he just ignored, he only charged after 2 days because he probably had to let people know he's still alive

he went back to the loft in the afternoon, because he knew kurt wouldn't be there, he was going away and leaving nothing behind when kurt showed up, blaine was kinda of embarassed because he was probably stinking and his hair and clothes were a mess

im not sure if they talked at all after the breakup night, but i kinda feel that blaine might have said to kurt something like "you think i'm broken? when are gonna realize the problem here isnt just me? i should have known, everytime things get serious and scary between us you run, you're so afraid of something and honestly i have no idea of what, please just stay away from me" (i dont knooow he was angry and being all cold to kurt and shit i think that happened and maybe thats what made kurt go to therapy)

he got kicked out of nyada because he didnt left his hotel room for anything other than food, and he felt even more lost after receiving the email saying he was no longer a student there, thats when he decided to go back to lima

in lima, he barely left his room, he didnt ate for days and when he wasnt crying he was sleeping, his friends would call, text and sometimes try to visit him but he never texted back, answered the calls or opened the doors for them, sam was the only one that had some success because he was living in lima too and could go to blaine's house more often, sometimes he got lucky and blaine would open the door for him

at first he tried to do pep talks to help his bestie get better, but nothing helped so at one point he just sat there with blaine and did nothing with him, because at least like that he wouldnt be alone

one day blaine felt a little better and started trying to be okay again, it was never easy but he got a job at breadsticks, and even tho he would much rather be in his bed he kept working because at least like that his mind was busy with something

after he started therapy, he still felt empty inside, the world was still sorta of grey to him and he didnt felt like doing anything, so he had to take meds for that, and kept taking them even after kurt cane back (but as blaine was getting better they slowly became less and less needed)

when blaine started working at dalton, he was already in a much better place that he was when he came back, and throughout s6 he was still battling depression, and wasnt always okay, sometimes he would still want to just be alone and dont talk to anybody or do anything, and if that happened when he was surronded with people he would just be more quiet, that sometimes got rachel and kurt's attention, because they're not used to this "new" blaine and when they asked him if he was doing okay he would just say "yeah, im just tired" sam later on explained to them what that usually meant, it meant that blaine needed some alone time because he was draining himself a lot

- blaine at nyada vs blaine at nyu

soooo i have a good theory about this one, at nyada blaine was constantly surronded by people who would probably kill someone to get at the top, to be the best

and was such a competitive place, that ended up being toxic for blaine. i used to think that he didnt fit there because he always was one of the best in show choir and dalton and he was always *that* guy, but now i think he didnt fit there because actually he dosent like competition that much

okay, sure, playful competiton with your friends its fun, show choir competiton is fun, fighting with tina, mercedes, rachel, santana and unique about solos was fun because it was serious but he was with his friends so okay, whatever

but the competition they had at nyada was just SO MUCH, and lets agree nyada is kinda of a toxic place in general, people made fun of kurts face and clothing there, rachel's "friends" ditched her when she lost the diva off to kurt and started kissing up to him, and (im not sure about this one but like 99%) people laughed when blaine lost to kurt at combat's class

my point is, in nyada, people only like you if you do well in classes, there's a lot of lying and backstabbing going on and c'mon blaine pratically grew up like this with cooper

always not good enough, always behind, always made fun of, never being great at anything, so maybe thats why blaine felt so stressed at nyada, and why he gets so insecure in 5x16, seeing kurt being praised and getting all of that attention might have reminded him of the years he and cooper didnt get along so well

he didnt found himself at nyada, mostly he was there because it was said to be the best school and rachel and kurt were there, so great, right?

but i get the feeling that at nyu things were a little lighter, not easier, but lighter, it didnt had so much toxic people, it wasnt a place where it was kill or be killed, people helped each other when needed and yes there was still competition, obviously but (almost) nobody made fun of people for failing

(i said almost there because im sure there was some douchbags there too, they're everywhere, but i hope you got my point)

- blaine's friendships

i am almost done i am so sorry this is so long i've been here for like 2 hours

i have some small headcanons about blaine's friends, because we did NOT get enough of his friendships (im leaving kurt out of this one because maybe one day ill do a meta/hc/theory about klaine....... maybe)

mike and blaine were besties on s3

they both like to dance and sometimes they+brittany would do a dance number together, sometimes for the glee club to see, sometimes only to themselves because thats fun

mike talked with blaine after the its not right but its okay number to see what happened and if he was okay (actually it was mostly blaine just venting about it "AND THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE KURTS VOICE HIS RINGTONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK????????")

blaine talked to mike about mike's dad because he knew what mike was going through and they both agreed thay family sucks sometimes

after mike graduated he and blaine kept têxtil each other and sometimes sending gifs or videos of dance moves to each other

santana and blaine were actually really good friends

after the glee club found out about what santana's grandmother had done when she came out, when they were alone blaine told santana about his dad, even tho he was afraid she was gonna tell everyone because he doesnt like talking about it, just so that she would know that shes not alone and its not her fault, santana never once teased or told anyone about this, she always sorta of liked him and thought he was nice but that moment she started seeing him as a friend

while preparing for the new directions vs warblers in 3x11, santana tried helping blaine bring out his inner bad boy, she helped him pick his outfit and they planned together the whole performance

(im stealing this one from a post i rebloged i guess a day ago? i didnt found the blog to tag but this is the post) > santana and blaine are friends on facebook, and follow each other on twitter and instagram, and they always spam on each others profiles because they're comfortable to do that with each other

santana kinda sees blaine as a male version of brittany, so she has this need of protecting him (which is kinda why she was super invested in getting him justice for his eye)

speaking of his eye, when he was at home before surgery, santana went there and told that she was gonna make sebastian confess what he'd put on thr slushie, blaine asked her how she knew where she lived but she cut him off, she also came back there after and told him everything, and she and kurt asked him what he wanted to do about it

brittany and blaine really were sunshine twins

they always liked each other, blaine didnt get her at first, but he got used to it

she always talked to him about cats, and what lord tubbington was up to, she tried inviting him to fondue for 2 but he knew that she would ask some really private questions so he always came up with an excuse

after he almost went back to dalton, she (alongside with tina, sam and marley) tried to make him feel as welcome as possible

when she was dating sam, sometimes the three of them would go to her house after school and cuddle in her bed with lord tubbington while watching a movie

when britt was planning their weddings, she asked blaine to try up some suits (with the excuse that she wasnt sure the one she picked was right), but she asked him that like a day after he kissed kurt at rachels party so she could tell he was kinda sad and asked him why, he told her and she said it was gonna be okay because their love was magical (it was weird but it did made blaine feel good, so...) she was also the only person he told that

blaine and britt always have ideas like "we should totally put glitter in the entire room to celebrate our wedding aniversary!" kurt and santana shut down the idea at the same time

blamtina were like 3 chaotic brothers

sam and blaine would have a dumb idea that would result in absolute chaos (but funny tho) and tina always plays along with them even if she thinks its a bad idea

the three of them are completely harry potter nerds, sam and blaine are hufflepuffs while tina is a ravenclaw, in a halloween party in s4 they went as the golden trio

after graduation, sam and blaine still skyped tina and told her all about ny, and she would tell them all about her collage

sam kept his promise of sending his imitations to tina and blaine sometimes would call her to vent about a fight he and kurt had

blaine read all of the harry potter books to sam

after sam talked blaine into staying at mckinley, sam and tina would always be with blaine, always talking to him, and spending time with him, thats how the 3 of them got so close

marley and blaine were good friends

when marley joined the new directions, blaine was one of the first to make her feel welcome

when blaine almost left for dalton, she tried make him see that she liked him in the nd too, and would randomly start talking to him so that he wouldnt feel alone

she would rant about jake to him sometimes, like how he wanted to have sex but she wasnt ready, and blaine told her she should do it only when she felt comfortable

after she got suspended, he apologized for yelling at her because of the performance, and remembered mr schue that she was recovering from an eating desorder and that he shouldnt be so hard at her

unique and blaine were "frenemies"

they started off not liking each other, since they both wanted it to be the new rachel, even after blaine won, he and unique still were kinda competitive with each other

but eventually they became sort-of-friends, they sang together sometimes when no one else was there, and they liked to pretend to not like each other but yes they did and it was just their thing

sometimes marley would do a sleepover and she would call blaine, unique and tina, while marley was talking about jake or tina was talking about missing mike, blaine would braid unique's wig and she would try to convince him to let her see his hair without gel

when the whole plot of unique and the bathroom happened, when mr schue told everyone he couldnt give up twerking, blaine stood up for unique saying that wasnt fair and mr schue should try harder to help her, he also held her hand (alongside with marley) when she was scared of having to go to the bathroom again

blaine and mercedes talked to each other more than twice :O

lol ok im not sorry for that title

mercedes and blaine LIVED together people, she used to be kurts best friend, and sams girlfriend are you telling me they barely talked to each other? no

in fact, they really like each other's company, blaine is kinda of a goofball and mercedes thinks its funny

he would ask her to talk to sam when blaine wanted something from him, and mercedes did the same with kurt

sam and blaine would do stupid things together (like dance around their house in their underwear) just to make mercedes laugh, they swore to never tell anyone, and they never did

sometimes at 3 am when no one could sleep they would all have a little dance party until they got tired

blaine and mercedes are junky food addicts, they eat healthy and stuff but they love some cake at 5 in the morning

one time when kurt and mercedes were arguing about the tots, blaine sided with mercedes and told her he agreed that tots are delicious

[naitiaclo960writings]

Day 6 - Mask

(Warnings: Alcohol drinking (consensual tho))

Dean almost cursed his brother for dragging him into this Halloween party just to abandon him ten minutes later for the pleasure of Jessica Moore’s company. Even though they’d been married for two years, those two were still disappearing to go get laid somewhere and Dean really didn’t want to be around when that happened. It wasn’t for him, thank you. And really, a Halloween party? He was over 30 and he didn’t even know that adults were still celebrating this kind of thing like any other Saturday night.

But he was apparently wrong considering the crowded dance floor of that theme bar. Everyone had played along, zombies moving their bodies among vampires, witches and werewolves. Some had opted for more classic costumes such as the nurse near the bar or the clown close of the toilet and from whom Sam would surely stay away. As for the DJ, he was on stage in his pirate disguise, giving the microphone to the beatboxer alien from time to time. The atmosphere was still friendly and it’s not like Dean had anything else to do with his October 31st evening, but he didn’t particularly want to meet anyone tonight.

His Batman costume didn’t seem to be as popular as he would have liked and the only girl who had noticed him all night long — a kind of giant pumpkin stained with blood, nothing very appetizing really — had mixed him up with "this guy from Avengers". Yet his mask was proudly on his face, his eyes surrounded with black make-up, and his cape flew according to his movements as his ears pointed towards the sky. Dean spent $50 on that suit and it wasn’t to be mocked by an uncultivated pumpkin.

Leaning against the bar isolated from the dance floor, Dean sighed, grateful to have at least some alcohol to comfort himself with. He had decided to swallow a few more drinks before going back to his apartment to watch TV when, suddenly, someone came to pull him out of his morose thoughts by bumping into him.

"Oh, really sorry." A low male voice apologized. "I should have looked around before I came down here."

Dean turned his surprised gaze to a man wearing a pretty convincing cowboy suit. Though judging by the wide headscarf on his eyes, he certainly personified an outlaw, a bee pin as a sheriff’s badge. Dean raised his eyebrows, moving to make room for the stranger.

"No harm done." He replied with a casual smile, tightening his grip around his shot of Alabama Slammer.

The cowboy came to take the place next to him before ordering as well, his blue penetrative gaze back on Dean.

"Very successful, the Batman." He said, obviously open to make conversation.

The stranger glanced at him for a moment, from top to bottom, and Dean could not restrain a feeling of pride taking hold of him. He smiled more while turning completely towards his new companion.

"Finally, someone with actual knowledge in this bar!" Dean exclaimed with amusement. "I swear, the next person who calls me 'Captain America' gets hit".

"What, someone dared to make that comparison?" The cowboy marveled in a laugh.

"Oh, you have no idea what I’ve heard." Dean lamented before drinking his shot further, savoring it more than the previous ones. He focused his attention on the cowboy and arched an eyebrow. "Your costume is really cool too, a true rodeo pro with that."

Another clear laugh escaped from the stranger’s mouth, surpassing the music that resonated further on the dance floor. The cowboy’s order finally arrived to him as he answered.

"Me, I don’t know. But William Brooks was certainly a fine gunfighter, that’s right." He replied before dipping his lips in his glass of pure vodka.

Dean eye’s widened, his smile growing bigger and bigger. There were so few people who knew that name, it couldn’t be a coincidence. Of course, for a huge fan of old western movies, the comparison was obvious, but he had to be sure.

"William Brooks as…?"

"Buffalo Bill, exactly."

Dean uttered an exclamation of joy.

"Awesome! Buffalo Bill is one of the best outlaws of his time, his adventures are amazing!" He said as he looked into the cowboy’s blue eyes.

"I know, he is my favorite mercenary!" This one replied in an equally cheerful tone.

Dean felt his night was suddenly changing. Maybe if the cowboy stayed here and talked to him, he might consider staying longer and enjoying the party.

"Dean" He said, raising his glass to the cowboy.

"Castiel." He replied with an easy smile.

They clinked their glasses before swallowing them bottoms up. Finally, without either of them really realizing it, hours —and the shots— flew at an incredible speed. What Dean thought was another tasteless evening turned out to be a very good time as he and Castiel talked. Sam and Jessica even came to him around 1:00 in the morning to tell him that they were going back home and Dean had just said goodbye to them before returning to his exciting conversation with Castiel about the best horror movies. Castiel, to tell the truth, seemed rather cowardly, but he listened to each of his words with particular attention which did not fail to warm Dean’s heart.

Neither of them particularly wanted to dance, happy with their own part of the bar and the distant music as the place gradually emptied. Around 1:30, however, their harmony was disrupted by a third person who was obviously already well drunk. Without being invited, a man in his forties, dressed in a chicken costume, came to interfere in their conversation with a lot of hearty laughter and inappropriate remarks, clearly hitting on Castiel while royally ignoring Dean yet less than a meter away from him.

When the man asked Castiel for his number for at least the sixth time of the evening, he rolled his eyes. Despite all the more or less subtle refusals from Castiel, the man did not seem to get the message and the good mood of the cowboy was gradually flying away as the stranger became touchier. Dean had held himself back until now, not wanting to make a scene and risk embarrassing Castiel, but when the stranger passed a hand stinking of cigarettes around his friend’s shoulder and that Castiel flinched, he decided that it was going too far.

Dean grabbed the stranger’s arm and push him away from Castiel, the man stumbling before catching himself at the bar.

"Hey, man. Get lost. I won’t tell you twice." Dean growled while standing in front of Castiel.

"Wow, easy pal!" The stranger replied, raising his hands in front of him, frowning. "It’s just a fra… fri-friendly discussion here."

It was more than obvious that the alcohol had reached what was left of his brain. Dean did not move an inch.

"Why don’t you go make friends somewhere else, pal?" Dean said in an icy voice. "Get out of here."

Eventually, the man grumbled, but walked away without further ado. Dean turned back to Castiel who raised an eyebrow in his direction. Dean pinched his lips. Great, did he just ruin his chances with him just because he wasn’t able to contain his emotions? Well done Winchester.

"Okay, so it’s not just a costume, is it? You’re a real caped crusader." Castiel finally joked with a happy smile on his face.

Dean relaxed and laughed with him, returning to his place near the bar.

"That’s it, keep laughing. Somebody had to save you from that ambush cowboy." Dean replied, returning to his empty glass.

"Save me, eh? Who says I wasn’t ready to draw at all times?" Castiel pouted.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"No offense, but you could barely aim straight with all the vodka you’ve been drinking." He teases softly, smiling at Castiel.

"Mmh, point for you." He mumbled.

And Dean couldn’t have put it better. Castiel did not stop at this drink and Dean was truly impressed that his friend had not yet vomited the contents of his stomach on his shoes. On the contrary, Castiel seemed to be a happy drunk and, although his words were increasingly incoherent, he also became more tactile. Dean didn’t mind, laughing at his friend’s behavior. He couldn’t really blame him for overstepping his bounds, even a skilled party boy like Dean was sometimes fooled by alcohol.

However, around 3:00 in the morning, the bar began to kick out the last customers and Dean found himself with a drunken Castiel completely slumped against him on a bench in the streets of Chicago.

"And it was just crazy because… because his dog wasn’t even white, you know? And then…

"Cas?" Dean gently cut him off, with a small smile on his face. "I think it’s time to go home. Do you live around?"

Castiel pouted. Dean could not help but think that, even when being completely drunk, Castiel was no less pleasant and attractive. The headscarf had still not left his eyes, blocking his face and hiding it from Dean’s curious gaze. Only two orbs of a brilliant blue continued to stare at him with an absent look, almost swallowed by the black of the pupil.

"… Mmh, maybe?" Castiel mumbled before slumping a bit more against Dean, sleepy.

Dean raised an eyebrow, looking around for his car.

"Okay… Okay, I’ll walk you out, right? What’s your address?"

Once again, Castiel grumbled before shrugging and stared at the pavement with intensity, as if it was whispering all his secrets to him. Dean bit his lip and swore inwardly. It was out of the question for him to leave Castiel alone outside in such a state or to take the risk of calling him a taxi. 

"Well, come here buddy."

Dean grabbed Castiel by the waist and guided him to the end of the street. The journey to his car was not easy, but in the end he managed to put his companion in the passenger seat before taking the wheel. Fortunately, the alcohol had already somewhat faded in his system but he took the time to drive slowly. Dean glanced uneasily at Castiel from time to time, now leaning against the window and observing the landscape in silence. He had become mute, which gave Dean time to think.

What the hell was he doing? Driving a completely drunk stranger home was like the beginning of a very bad situation. Was it considered kidnapping? Dean nervously licked his lips after another look at Castiel. They didn’t know each other that well yet, and the last thing Dean wanted was to scare his friend.

But at a closer look, he had no other choice. Castiel was unable to take care of himself at the moment and it was not an option for Dean to take the risk of putting him in danger. What if he ran into the other jerk at the bar and took him home? No, Dean didn’t want to think about it. At least he had a warm bed and painkillers waiting for him at home.

When they reached their destination, Castiel was even more apathetic than when he left the bar. He kept mumbling anecdotes that Dean was supposed to understand as he was helping him up the three floors to his apartment.

A bunch of encouragement and much patience later, Dean finally closed the door of his home behind them. Castiel immediately took an interest in his AC/DC key ring for a minute before looking around. He seemed to frown under his mask.

"Pepper?" He suddenly called.

Dean frowned too. Was Castiel looking for someone? Dean lost some of the color on his face. Was it his girlfriend? His wife?

"Who is Pepper?" He asked without being able to help himself.

Castiel seemed confused for a moment before shrugging and mumbling.

"Goldfish."

This time, Dean really had to hold back a laugh at the stupidity of the situation.

"Okay, well, I’m sure Pepper is doing just fine. Now you’re going to go wash up and go to sleep." Dean sighed by dragging him further into his apartment, shaking his head.

When they arrived in the bathroom, it was more than obvious that Castiel was equally incapable of doing anything without help. Dean sat patiently on the edge of the tub while his friend stared at him with fascination, complimenting every little detail with a slurred voice. Finally, Dean knelt before him and began to take off his boots. Castiel did not protest, so Dean did the same with his socks, his long black leather coat, his belt, his gloves, his hat and everything else until the cowboy was only in jeans and shirt in front of him.

However, the headscarf was still in place and Dean hesitated before removing it. The piece of fabric was large and covered at least the entire upper part of Castiel’s face, hiding what he perceived to be prominent cheekbones to go with his square jaw. He swallowed. Castiel was simply focusing on an invisible spot near Dean’s ear when he finally decided to untie the knot behind Castiel’s face to remove the mask.

If Dean had believed that Castiel’s eyes were mesmerizing until then, it was nothing compared to the irresistible portrait that had just appeared before him. Dean held his breath for a moment while he allowed himself to admire each piece of skin offered to his sight, Castiel totally oblivious of the red appearing on the cheeks of his host.

He didn’t know after how long he was able to get out of this state —"No kidding, stop looking at people like that, Dean, you’re gonna scare him" he told himself— but he managed to get rid of the costume and make-up in turn before escorting Castiel to his room.

His friend was now more than silent, letting himself be pushed around when Dean laid him out among the blankets. The effect was almost immediate: barely wedged in his pillows, Castiel closed his eyes and his face relaxed. He fell asleep a few seconds later after turning to his side. Dean smiled softly, unable to prevent this urge of tenderness from growing in his chest at this sight. As a precaution, he decided to leave an empty basin and painkillers on the bedside table before letting Castiel sleep.

He’d take the couch tonight.

* * *

Dean awoke to the sweet sound of someone puking his guts out in the bathroom. He sighed. He had not had enough sleep to his liking and the filtering light in his living room kept coming to attack his eyes. Aware that he could not go back to sleep anyway, he decided to go and check on his guest. Dean more or less effectively dragged himself to the barely opened door of his bathroom before gently knocking against the wood.

"…Cas?" He called out in a hoarse voice. "Is everything okay?"

The bathroom became silent a moment after his words before a barely human grunt resounded. Dean sympathized with him.

"I know." He replied gently. "The towels are in the right cupboard if you want to take a shower. And, uh, I should have clean toothbrushes in the first drawer. Take your time."

Another grunt, this time softer, rose again from the bathroom and Dean closed the door before moving on to the kitchen. Ten minutes later, he heard the shower turn on.

When Castiel was finally able to appear in the kitchen with a slightly more presentable face, though still sick, Dean had already had time to prepare the coffee and a pancake batter.

"Morning sunshine." Dean joked, glancing behind him and trying not to look at his friend again for hours." Was yesterday’s rodeo a little too much for you?"

Castiel stared at him with wide eyes before coughing. Dean turned around, raising an eyebrow.

"I, uh… Hello." A silence. Dean smiled kindly as Castiel looked everywhere but in his direction. "Okay, this is going to be really awkward, but, uh... did we… you know?"

Dean adopted a confused expression before blushing until the roots of the hairs, mortified. He really had to learn to choose his words more carefully if he wanted to stop finding himself in these kinds of awkward situations.

"No!" He hastened to rectify. "No, by rodeo I meant... Well… You drank a lot yesterday and I didn’t know where you lived, so I drove you here. The only thing that happened was you calling for your goldfish." Dean let out a little laugh. "But you slept in the bed and I slept on the couch. My sore back is proof."

Castiel seemed to relax a little before finally getting closer. He still seemed a bit embarrassed, probably because of everything he had imposed on Dean the night before, but at least his shy smile had come back to illuminate his face.

"Thank you. I would have hated not to remember that if we had spent the night together." He replied by looking up at him, and Dean could already say that it was not really a joke.

"Oh." That was the only intelligent answer he could come up with.

All this had the talent of relaxing the atmosphere while Dean served a large cup of coffee to Castiel, throwing him soft glances from time to time. His friend took the cup between his fingers before blowing gently on the surface of his coffee.

"I don’t know how to thank you." Castiel said as Dean went back to his pancakes. "If I invite you next time, do you think you can forget all the embarrassing things I probably did yesterday?"

Dean felt a pleasant sensation in his chest as a fine smile bloomed on his face. Castiel seemed almost in the right place in his kitchen, drinking coffee as if it was the most natural thing to do in the world. He nodded slowly, feeling his zygomatic pulling his lips up.

"Yee-haw cowboy." Dean huffed.

Castiel shook his head, amused, while Dean was simply delighted to learn that there would be a next time.

"On one condition though." He quickly added.

"Yes?" Castiel asked, curious.

"Undisguised this time." 

And just like that, this wonderful laugh was back, filling the room with a light and warm atmosphere.

"Deal."

* * * @winchester-reload Hello! Again, I wrote more than I should have written for this story but I’m pretty happy with the result, even though it gave me a hard time. Hope you enjoyed it!

You can find the whole series on Ao3

Tag list /!\ PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD TO (or removed from) THE TAG LIST so you won’t miss any updates.

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[navegandoaciegas]

the love you deserve II

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (fem!reader)

Word Count: almost 3k, ops

Summary: “He’s Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. He was the guy at the Triskelion, they say he’s the one who killed JFK.”

It can’t be real. Your Jaime visits and plays with lonely, sickly kids in hospitals because he remembers what it was like growing up with his asthmatic, diabetic friend Steve. Whoever this Bucky guy is, he’s not your Jaime, your Jaime could never harm a fly. Your Jaime is good, he’s compassionate. Surely your friend must be wrong.

Warnings: soft!bucky, hurt!reader, angst, fluff, lying, cheating, drug use, alcohol consumption (including mentions of underage drinking), language that Steve Rogers wouldn’t approve of.

A/N: AU where Civil War and Thanos never happen, Tony forgives Bucky and he retires. This is my very first attempt at writing in English, I’m not a native speaker, so forgive me for any mistakes :)

This is part 2, please comment and reblog and let me know what you think of it :) feedback is always appreciated! I plan on writing at least another part, maybe two.

What do you think of the reader?

Part 1

The day before

Las Vegas, Nevada

Vegas is hot and dry as hell. It’s also a lot of fun, so the movies did not lie about that at least. They did exaggerate how fun the casinos would be tho.

You’re at a pool party, sipping on a drink, silently judging the moves of the sweaty people who are dancing around you.

You just got off a facetime call with Jaime, and god you miss him and Alpine too, but life is good and you’re the happiest you’ve ever been, your best friend is getting married to the man she loves and you’re having the time of your life with your girlfriends.

“So, you’re not having cold feet, are you?” you hear Hannah question Jade.

They’re basking in the sun around you.

Jade hesitates as she douses herself in sunblock.

“I gotta say I’m kind of scared but I’ve been dreaming about this for three years, so no? I guess. I don’t know. I love him.”

“That didn’t answer the question.” you observe.

“Are you sure you’re ready to commit to one dick only for the rest of your life?” Raven asks, and you all laugh and roll your eyes playfully.

Ever the commitaphobe, just like you. Well, like you used to be before you met Jaime.

You hate rush hour after work, you hate it so much in fact that you’d rather go to your work’s gym and workout even though you’re exhausted than catch a packed train.

By the time you get to the station most people are home already.

He’s here today.

You’ve seen him quite a lot in the past few weeks. The first thing you noticed about him is the way he seems to fold in on himself, his hunched shoulders and lowered head.

His bad posture aggravates you beyond reason, and you just wish you could go there and straighten his back without looking like a weirdo. But you can’t, so you just admire from afar like the good creep you are.

He’s always wearing a baseball cap over luscious but questionably greasy hair, huge winter jackets and leather gloves; still, underneath all that it’s clear he’s handsome. You always had a thing for men built like brick houses.

Today is the day, you think, today is the day I finally strike a conversation with the guy, it’s now or never.

Truth is, the loneliness he exudes breaks your heart and the way people avoid him like he’s got the plague enrages you for no particular reason. Somehow the ever indifferent New Yorkers would rather stand on a moving train than sit next to him, and that something about that that irks you way too much.

You really don’t understand why. Sure he’s intimidating, he’s a huge man, but he’s quiet and calm and he smiles softly when he spots a dog on the train. He gets off at same stop you do and no matter how isolate the station and the streets are by the time you get home, even if you two are the only ones there, you’ve never felt uneasy.

So you go and sit next to him, you smile when he looks up in surprise and you say hi.

He stutters an ‘evening ma’am’ and you’re proud of yourself because you’ve got it in you to made the big scary guy blush like a schoolgirl.

“Not to be a creep or anything but I’ve seen you around quite a lot, we commute together almost every day.” You chuckle and you introduce yourself.

“I uhm-” he’s cute when he furrows his brows “ I’m Jame- Jaime. I’m Jaime.”

You smile at the memory.

Jaime turned out to be a lot less shy than anticipated. He was a stuttering mess on the first few dates but the more you got to know him, the more he opened up to show his true sarcastic, snarky nature, whilst still being a gentle giant and an absolute sweetheart.

He’s thoughtful, cocky and sweet at the same time. He makes you melt in a puddle whenever he snuggles Alpine on the inside of his jacket, and the rumble of his voice is enough to make your brain short circuit and your panties dampen.

“There goes that look again, you’re such a love sick fool.”

“Oh God, you should see her when she’s with her precious Jaime, they literally have heart eyes, they’re so cute together it makes me sick to my stomach.”

You laugh and shake your head at Raven’s and Jade’s teasing.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, you should have seen yourself the day you met Matt, bitch, you looked like you’d never seen a man before. I ain’t forget.” you retort.

Hannah laughs and adds “When are we going to meet mystery man? It’s not fair that Jade only to got to see him. And word on the streets is that he’s real pretty.”

“When you three learn how to behave. But I can show you a picture, just please don’t be weird about it.” you finally relent after five months of avoiding the topic.

“He’s very, very hot ladies.” Jade quips.

You send her a side glance (goodnaturedly of course) and show them how pretty your sweet boy is.

Raven’s jaw goes slack as she clutches your phone and gawks at the picture.

“Lucky bastard, he’s literally the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, where did you find him and how did you convince him to be with you of all people?”

You laugh at Raven’s blunt remarks. They playful banter between the two of you has been going on since freshman year of college.

“Now I get why you have that dumb love struck face on you at all times.” Hannah adds.

Grace tho, she’s unusually quiet, and she stares at him with a scowl on her face. Her eyes travel slowly from your phone to your face, and the anticipation to know the reason why is killing you.

“Uhm, you’re dating him? And you said his name is Jaime?” she hesitates.

Whatever is going to come out of her mouth, you already know you’re not going to like it.

“Look, maybe I’m wrong and I’m mistaking him for someone else but I’m pretty positive I’m right and, ah” Another pause, you’re about to faint. “There’s no way to break it down to you in a way that won’t hurt but” she sighs “he’s lying to you.”

Ice fills your veins. You can feel dread crawling up your spine.

Is he someone else’s boyfriend? Are you the other woman or is he cheating on you? Is he a professional scammer?

“What the hell are you talking about Gracie?” Jade almost shouts, and you’re one heartbeat away from fainting.

Grace looks at you with all the pity in the world and you want nothing more than to erase that expression from her face.

“He’s Bucky Barnes, Captain America’s best friend. He was the guy at the Triskelion, they say he’s the one who killed JFK.”

The world around you stops spinning for a second as the ring in your ears get louder. You just wish the ground could open up and swallow you whole.

All of a sudden you start laughing hysterically like she’s told the funniest joke you’ve ever heard, you laugh so ugly that a few heads turn in your direction and give you funny looks, so loud that your friends are startled and even more worried.

Jaime, your sweet baby boy who adopted a three legged blind cat no one else at the shelter wanted to save him from being euthanized.

Jaime who volunteers at the VA with his pal Sam to help war vets reintegrate in society after they get back home, because he knows what it’s like to have your life turned around, to find yourself with no commands to obey all of a sudden and more trauma than you know what to do with. He knows what it is like to know no peace, to sleep a couple hours a week until you’re hallucinating so bad you’re begging the universe to just end your suffering.

It can’t be real. Your Jaime visits and plays with lonely, sickly kids in hospitals because he remembers what it was like growing up with his asthmatic, diabetic friend Steve.

Whoever this Bucky guy is, he’s not your Jaime, your Jaime could never harm a fly.

Your Jaime is good, he’s compassionate. Surely your friend must be wrong.

He goes grocery shopping for the elderly couple next door whose kids never visit, because they are too weak, too sick, too tired to leave the house.

“I’m sorry sweetie, it’s not your fault, you couldn’t have know.”

Grace hands you a phone, open on his Wikipedia page.

Jaime’s sky-blue eyes stare back at you.

You really let him play a number on you, didn’t you?

You feel a hot surge of blinding anger and you want to tear the world apart, you want to take Jaime- no, not Jaime, James and bitch slap him in the face so damn hard you convey the humiliation you’re feeling right now, knowing that the man you love and thought you knew lied to your face for five fucking months.

Did he ever consider coming clean, revealing his true identity?

Was he ever planning on telling you? Or would he move in with you, wake up and go to bed with you every day feeding you lies upon lies?

Would you end up married to a man that doesn’t exist and have kids with a ghost?

Grow old with a guy who said he was 33 but is actually 99?

Would he never get undressed in front of you? How was he planning on hiding is metal arm? Surely one day you’d be intimate and you would see it? The whole “I want to wait cause I’m old fashioned like that” would eventually need to stop.

Or maybe it wasn’t a serious relationship at all for him, not in the way it was for you. Not in the way you wanted to spend the rest of your days loving him and making him the happiest man alive. Not in the way you were ready to commit to him, body and soul, for all eternity.

Now the endearing terms he used to call you, his babydoll, his little doll, they taste bitter on your tongue.

A doll, literally. A little toy to play with and toss aside once he got bored of his little game.

Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out like this?

It reminds you of that time in your junior year of college, you were dating this guy back then, and you liked him, he was fun, the sex was good, he supported you in your endless hours of cheer practice.

One day he told you he was sick and couldn’t make it to your afternoon study date. That same night you ran into him at a frat party with his friends. Wasn’t so sick after all.

You broke up on the spot, shed a few tears while your teammates held you and moved on with your life with your head held high, because that’s what you’ve been doing all your life no matter how many curveballs the universe throws your way.

You vividly recall what hurt the most: the feeling of being lied to and toyed with. The hot humiliation that burns your cheeks and makes your eyes water when you realized you have yet again misplaced your trust. The inevitable question that plague you for days on end: what else did he lie about? How could I be so damn stupid?

His name was Tommy, and sometimes in the following years your first instinct when a man told you anything was to obsess over whether they were being honest or not. Until Jaime, that is, you trusted Jaime with your life, you would never question him, and look where that got you.

You’re aware you’re overthinking and maybe overreacting at this point, and that wailing in your own misery while your girlfriends are out having fun in a club is doing you no good, nor is it changing your current predicament. But you never listen to the voice of reason, and you won’t start today.

The room feels too hot and too cold at the same time.

You’re sweating but your body is shaking. You’re breathing but the air you inhale won’t reach your lungs. You’re blinking your eyes frantically but you only see darkness. You hear your own heart beat out of your chest.

It seems like the room you’re in is closing down on you and there’s no space left, you’re being crushed by those walls around you, you’re drowning, you’re suffocating.

Is this what heartbreak feels like, or is it just a heart attack?

Turns out it’s a panic attack, you know because you typed your symptoms on Google.

You are painfully aware you’re spiralling out of control.

Get a grip.

All you can think about is how you want him to suffer, you want him to feel the same humiliation you’re feeling right now. You want him to feel his chest compress, his throat tighten, you want him to know what it’s like when your heart is breaking in a thousand pieces and you can’t even breathe.

You want his world to come tumbling down on him and crush him under the weight of his mistakes.

You don’t care why he did it. You don’t give a single fuck about his reasons.

Because the truth is, no matter who he was in his past life, no matter how many he killed or tortured, you would have loved him all the same. You would have carried the weight of the world on your shoulders if it meant he could sleep soundly at night.

But he didn’t give you a chance to.

And because you never fucking think before you act, you put your best dress on a join the girls at the club they’re at, and you hope the tequila is going to drown your sorrow and dull the pain burning you from within.

Tonight you don’t want to feel anymore.

Four months ago.

Brooklyn, New York.

Every morning, Bucky wakes up at 5.30 am and joins Steve Rogers on his jog around the neighborhood, and every morning without failure Bucky is grumpy about it. He hates the early mornings, especially in the winter, but he can’t find it in himself to refuse Steve anything.

Steve is smart and too observing for his own good and he knows that something has changed. He knows it in the way Bucky’s steps are louder and bouncier, his back is straighter, his smile is easier, his eyes shine brighter.

He knows it because underneath the sandalwood scent of Buck’s deodorant and the musky smell of his sweat, he can sometimes detect the less pungent fragrance of coconut and peaches.

“So, who is she?”

The question catches him off guard. Bucky stops dead in his track and looks at his friend like a deer caught in the headlights.

“What, you thought I wouldn’t notice?”

At that he has the decency to blush.

“She’s- she’s perfect. I met her on the ride home from the shelter. ‘member when we were kids, we used to dream about the future? I swore I’d get myself a pretty wife and love her for the rest of my days and have a bunch of kids?”

“Yeah, I used to tell you you’d have to stop dragging me in those god awful double dates, or else you wouldn’t get any of those pretty girls to stick around.”

The two share a bittersweet smile as they reminisce how their life could have been.

“She’s pretty, you know, she’s sweet, she’s a bit of an asshole but the good kind, she’s so damn smart, you know all those science things I used to like before the war? She knows them all. She’s an engineer. I know my Ma would have approved of her, and Becca would have died to have her as a sister.”

“So why’s that long face?”

Bucky snorts.

Of course, how could Captain America understand? People don’t avoid him like he’s got some infectious disease, they don’t give him dirty looks, girls don’t cross the street when they see him, mothers with kids on their hips don’t cover their children as if he was the Boogeyman. “She didn’t recognize me, and well I- I can’t tell her. She wouldn’t want me, and I like her too much to mess this up.”

“Buck.” Steve gives him his best stern look. “You have to tell her, she has a right to know who she’s seeing. If she’s the one she’s going to love you all the same, but don’t lie to her. These secrets can only backfire in the long run. It’s going to ruin your relationship.”

Bucky nods absentmindedly and continues running without uttering another word.

No one could ever love his true self, he thinks bitterly. No one could help him carry the weight of his past on his shoulders.

If only he had known back then how right Stevie would be, he would have told you everything four months ago.

[kaneshiroflms]

Endgame things and thoughts

Nebula and Tony hanging out was so adorable they have my heart :<

Carol singlehandingly bringing a wholeass ship back to earth ?ugh her mind

Thanos just chilling and cooking and Carol just fucking going for him is poetic cinema

Thor saying “I went for the head”

5 FUCKINF YEARS?!

Scott being saved by a rat? Iconic.

Scott panicking when looking for Cassie’s name then seeing her all grown up and ok was heartbreaking specially knowing he didn’t get to see her grow up

Scott giving all he could to get the others back and trying his best not to breakdown when mentioning Hope

“She’s my.. she was my..”

Scott saying he lost someone very important to him :((

I dont rlly ship them but the Carol and Rhodey interaction was cool of them to reference

Carol and Nat’s hair is sending me

Tony as a father is so adorable and i love morgan already

I’ve read posts saying that Tony rejecting helping them with the time heist was sefish, but he just didn’t want to risk losing the people he loves again. He didn’t want his daughter to lose a father or lose Pepper since him being back was already a second chance for him

Peter being his motivation :((

Morgan is so much like his dad uwu Tony is such a great dad

Valkyrie in midgaurdian clothes

KORG

Thor having a beer belly made the entire theatre gasp lmao

I also think they did him dirty. Specially since he clearly had ptsd and it seemed like they just turned it to a joke

Scott turning into a baby and Tony knowing he turned to a baby lmao

Bruce giving Scott tacos after his first one fell

Scott being friendly to Nebula :<

Scott giving 2012 Tony a cardiac arrest and 2023 Tony shouting for help lmao

“I could do this all day” “I know”

“That’s America’s ass”

Loki mocking steve

Loki’s lil wave at hulk in the elevator :< i miss my bitch

I really thought they’d make the elevator scene a parallel to the one in tws and we’d see a fight again

2012 Steve letting go of 2023 Steve when he told him that Bucky was alive

Steve and Tony in the 70s!

they should’ve had Dominic Cooper play Howard again.

Tony talking to his dad about his daughter

Peggy still having Steve’s photograph just like he has her’s :((

Steve seeing Peggy :((

JARVIS MY MAN

Nat and Clint being happy and giddy in space makes me cry now knowing whats gonna happen next

Peter singing without music lmao

Fuck thanos for hurting both nebulas

When Clint and Nat’s foreheads were together:( i love their friendship

“Please let me go” :(( Natasha deserved better

The fact that this film values family is so sweet

Thor and Frigga’s interaction and Thor saying his last goodbye to Frigga :((

Thor wanting to be the one to hold the gauntlet so he could do something right :<

Clint’s reaction when his wife called

Why does thanos always let the others do his work smh

Cap wielding mjolnir lemme tell u everyone in the theatre sCREAMED

The shot where Steve was ready to fight thanos and his army alone even before he knew the others would come is just-

“On your left”

Everyone who were gone appearing was so powerful

When peter appeared everyone cHEERED

The fact that everyone was there, Wakandans, Wong, the guardians etc iCONIC

“Avengers, assemble.” C h i l l s

Peter telling Tony what happened and tony hugging him

“Oh this is nice”

T’challa finally saying Clint’s name lmao

Captain Marvel’s entrance

Carol really just flew through a fucking battleship and managed to come out without a single scratch

“Hi im peter parker” “hey peter parker, you got something for me?”

HOPE VAN DYNE

“Is that everyone?” “Like you wanted more?”

“I don’t even know who you are” “you will” Amen sister

And the fact that Wanda singlehandedly nearly killed thanos and thanos had to recruit his army cos he got threatened by a woman

When Peter met Gamora and said “I thought I lost you”

Gamora kicking his balls HAHA

The all women scene was so powerful the entire theatre cheered

It upsets me tho that Natasha who brought them together wasn’t there

Hope and scott teaming up again oh god we dont deserve them

Captain marvel going for thanos the second time and when he tried punching her and she didnt flinch

Tony looking at Stephen was the time he knew what was supposed to be done

When tony had the gauntlet

“I’m inevitable” “i am iron man”

Peter going for tony “mr stark, can you hear me? It’s me peter.” “We won Mr. Stark. We won. You did it”

Pepper gently putting peter aside :((

The fact that pepper said “but will u be able to rest” back in their home when tony told her about the time travel thing and while he was slowly dying she told him “it’s okay, you can rest now”

Also when pepper was trying so hard to pull herself together and even said “we’re going to be okay.” And when she gave him a final kiss in the cheek but breaking down when Tony finally died

Tony’s last message while we see Clint reuniting with his family, T’challa, Shuri and Ramonda watching over the city, Hope, Cassie and Scott watching the sky and being happy

When hologram Tony looked at Morgan and said “I love you 3000” :((

the fact that Morgan lost his father at such a young age and that she wouldn’t get to grow up with a father. She probably doesn’t even understand what was going on

Morgan hugging her mom,, she must be so confused

When everyone was there for the funeral :( even Harley

Carol in those pants? G a y

Bucky in that jacket and jeans? Also gay

VALKYRIE AS THE QUEEN OF ASGARD? Iconic

Peter still searching for Gamora :((

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone” “ur bringing all the stupid with u” THAT REFERENCE

“I’ll miss you” “it’s gonna be alright buck” Bucky knew what Steve was gonna do and that he wouldn’t come back

IM LIVING FOR SAM AS THE NEW CAP

“Wanna tell me about her?” *looks to the view and slowly smiles* “no, i dont think i will” HE CLEARLY HAD A HAPPY LIFE AND HE DESERVES IT

Steve and Peggy looked so happy and content and they deserve it

I still didn’t get why some didn’t like Steve’s arc,, Steve created a different timeline in which he comes back to Peggy and they both chose to get married and live together. So there is a different timeline where Peggy moved on, but in this timeline Steve and Peggy gets to be happy and grow old together. Steve is happy and he deserves to be :)

Also do u guys ever wonder if steve came back to the same date and place Peggy told him when he was about to crash the plane :((

The way the movie ended tho,, when right after we see Steve and Peggy dancing and kissing it cuts to black and the lyrics of the song start as the credits start rolling too. It’s such a beautiful way to conclude the phase :”( they ended it with Steve in the 40s, the very first avenger and the decade it all began.

Also the credits where they had their signatures :((

Anyway thats all thanks for coming to my tedtalk,, also feel free to add some more of ur thoughts from the film :)

[saramelcky]

Fragments - Chapter 3

Bucky Barnes x Mom!reader

Summary: Y/n, Bucky and Grace have breakfast together. Bucky opens up more about what he’s going through, so does Y/n.

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter Warnings: Feelings. A little bit of angst. Some bad words maybe.

A/N: I’m back! Well, I don’t know if I will stay active for long but at least I finished this chapter...it took me soooo long. I hope you will like it and I hope I will be able to write the next one ASAP! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Fragments Masterlist

'We'll be there in ten minutes' says the message Y/n has sent to bucky. It's been fifteen actually, sixteen minutes since that message and Bucky's leg can't stop hopping up and down under the white table of the cafeteria. He puts his left hand on it trying to stop the movement with no success. The door opens catching his attention: Y/n and her little girl are standing there looking for Bucky in the crowded local; when Grace sees the man she can't stop a joyful scream while running towards him to hug him.

"Hey, little girl!" Says Bucky "how's it going?" He asks.  "I'm not little! I'm a big girl" she corrects him. Y/n giggles sitting at the table only moments later. "Hey Bucky, I'm sorry we're late" She apologies to him. "Oh don't be, I was just a little worried, but that's on my anxiety" he giggles the stress away. "I'll send you more texts next time" she laughs lightly.  "It...seems fair" he adds forgetting the previous stress. "You know I colored a picture yesterday, Bucket!" The little girl cuts their laughing off by tugging Bucky's sleeve. "Oh really? What was it?" He asks while Grace climbs up to his lap. "It was me and the big dog from the park hugging like you and mommy did yesterday" the two adults cheeks burn to the ears. "Okay sweetheart, what do you want for breakfast?" Y/n tries to change the subject.  "Coffee!" the girl says joyfully.  "Grace, coffee is for grownups. Like mommy and Bucky. Would you like some milk and brownies?" Her mom smirks at her trying to convince her. "Mommy, I'm a big girl now" She pouts. Bucky whispers something to the little's ear and her eyes widen in joy hugging the man's chest tightly. Y/n is confused and watches him baffled. He nods his head letting her know everything is under control while a waitress picks up their order.

While waiting for their food, the tension starts growing and Grace is not helping anymore with the conversation as she plays with the plates of Bucky's arm. "So, Uhm, about the prosthetic, you wanted to talk about it, didn't you?" Y/n asks.  "Yes, it's about the funds" he says. "Oh, is there a problem?" She's concerned and starts picking at her nails.  "Well, not a problem but a change" he sighs "Grace won't be in Stark's project, it wouldn't be fair to those who were previously chosen, but she'll still have her arm, I will personally pay it since I broke it." Y/n was speechless, a mix of thankfulness for the kind act and stubborn pride that doesn't want him to pay for everything. "I...I don't know what to say" are the only words that escape her mouth. She tries to cover her tears flowing with a smile. "Hey hey, it's okay" Bucky says putting a hand on her shoulder. "Is mommy sad?" Grace asked. "No honey...mommy's really happy" Y/n says wiping off the salty drops "really happy" she repeats. As the food arrives, Grace gets off Bucky's lap and sits between the adults devouring her breakfast in a second. "Mommy I finished" she turns to bucky and he nods. "Bucket told me that to be a big girl I have to listen to you" Y/n nods. "I ate everything so I am a real big girl now" Y/n still nods while Bucky looks at Grace intrigued. "Can I drink your coffee, please?" Grace asks with the most joyful smile of all. Bucky burst into laughs and Y/n is taken back. "So that was what you secretly talked about uh" Y/n smiles "Oh no no" Bucky corrects her "I just told her to be good, the coffee part is completely hers". They both laugh while Grace, in all seriousness, continues to talk about how she deserves that coffee "I'm sorry Bucky, today she woke up with this thing of being a big girl, she just doesn't stop saying she is an adult and stuff like that" she smiles at him "Oh that's not a problem, I lived with the most stubborn boy in Brooklyn eighty years ago, I know how it feels like" he giggles "Well, you weren't Steve's mom, poor woman" Y/n says still smiling while Bucky, at Steve and Sarah's mention, suddenly loses his joy. "Uhm yeah, It felt like it before...before everything happened" he struggles to say the entire sentence without crying. Y/n notices the weird uneasiness and the sad tone in his voice. "Hey, do you want to talk about it?" She suggests. "I don't want to ruin your morning, the baby doesn't need to hear about my messy mind and I bet you have more important things to do" he stares at his hands without looking up to them. "Okay, I'll call this friend of mine so she will pick up Grace to my apartment and we can stay here and talk" she dials Lucy's number on her phone "or we can go everywhere else, just as you like" she says. "Thanks, but I don't want to pity you" he responds. "You are not pitying me, I'll talk about my messy life too if this helps you" she gives him a wide smile before calling her friend.

"Thank you so much, Lucy" Y/n said. "No problem" she nudges her "just...use protections" she winks and laughs Y/n sighs "I'll call you when I'm on my way home" she turns to Grace "Alright princess, say goodbye to Bucky, aunt Lucy will stay with you" she smiles at her baby "Bucket I'll miss you" the little girl pouts "Oh no, come give me a hug" Bucky melts in the little arms "I'll see you next week, little one" he kisses her little head "Bye Mommy" Grace waves at Y/n trough Lucy's car window.

Y/n returns in the cafè and sits back with Bucky. "Uhg, how can you be so calm without her" he says. She arches a brow at him, asking an explanation . "She's gone for 5 minutes and I can only think about how bad I want a little hug from her...God I sound so creepy" he mumbles. "Oh, I'm just pretending to be calm" she nervously laughs "it's been almost 5 years but I can't stand being far from her for too long. Please distract me from my cute daughter" they both bursts into laughs. "It's been a lot since I've laughed like this" he looks sad now "I feel like back in the 30s once again" he sadly scoffs. Y/n puts a hand on his left shoulder. "Do you miss him?" She asks. "Like fresh air. I just don't understand why he did that" he shakes his head. "Do you mean why he sacrificed for us?" She giggles "I mean, it's kinda obvious why..." she adds furrowing her brows. "Is that what you know?" He's shocked "you think he sacrificed? Oh wow" he laughs sarcastically "I've seen it on the news...he died with Ironman, didn't he?" She asks. Bucky can't hold himself by facepalming. "God no...this must remain between us, understood?" Y/n nods. "Uhm, first of all, Steve lived through Thanos okay? After Stark's funeral he had to do one last mission in the past, yeah we can time travel, I think... by the way, before this mission he told me that he wasn't coming back, that I should have moved on quickly and that Sam and the others would be with me if I needed. He...he completed the mission and after that, he went in the 40s and lived his life with Peggy Carter...they were a thing at that time and he never stopped loving her. Steve's still alive, he's really old but alive. I know Sam visits him once a week but...I can't. I feel like he abandoned me...he knew where HYDRA kept me but he did nothing to save me" finally, he lets out everything and cries all his emotions. Y/n embraces him, protecting him from something they didn't know "I'm sorry...I think I can understand what do you mean, sort of" she says "How?" He asks "Has your best friend left you after a century of friendship?" He adds laughing tauntingly.  "No, but I know how it feels being abandoned" she leaves a shaky breath. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks wiping his tears. Y/n nods. "In 2018, before the Thanos things, I was happily married, I was nailing it with work, everything was just perfect. My husband, ex-husband's name is Jacob. I still love him with all my heart even if he doesn't anymore. At that time we were trying to have a baby, we wanted a big family with lots of kids so here comes Grace. The day I found out I was pregnant, you were in Wakanda, fighting for us. I didn't have the time to tell me about the baby. I was destroyed by his death and had a little pregnancy scare because of the stress. But everything else went well during the pregnancy and Grace was born healthy and even bigger than the average. During the pregnancy and labor, it was only me and Lucy, she's been my anchor many times. I had bad baby blues and I was diagnosed with post-partum depression and it didn't help with the special needs that had Grace. It was probably the worst time of my life. I eventually got through it and moved on, I even dated once when Grace was almost three" she laughed" The final punch arrived when you guys saved the universe and Jacob came back. I was the happiest person alive and Grace wanted to meet her dad so much. He wasn't that happy tho. When he saw Grace he was, of course, confused but he didn't believe she was his. He left us and didn't come back since. I...I didn't take well that too and to be honest, when we've met, it was the first time I went out in weeks. It's been a rough time lately" she sighs "I don't even know how I wake up every day now...I have the fear that Grace is growing more without me than with me, and this is fucking scary. I should be her reference point, I'm her mother for Christ's sake! All I can do is pitying myself, crying and staying alone! And now that I've met you, I feel like I don't deserve to feel bad, others suffer more than me." She covers her face putting it on the table in front of them "I didn't want to cry today but it's harder than I thought" she huffs and cries. Bucky gently kisses her head while soothing her sobs with a hand in the back before becoming a wiping mess himself.

"It felt good today, talking with you, you know?" He says outside her house. He accompanied her home after they recover from the public crying session. "Me too, we should talk more often" she giggles. "Are you free next week?" He asks. She feels heat rising up her face and a knot in the stomach. "Uhm yeah, I think I am" They stare at each other for a while. "I think I might head in" she breaks the silence "Oh yeah of course. Thanks again Y/n" he leans to hug her "Thank you Bucket" she highlights his name in his arms He laughs "you should teach that baby how to say my name" they pull off the embrace. "Send me a text when you're home" she goes to the front door "Ok! Have a nice rest of the day doll" he says before leaving "Thanks, you too" she enters the house.

"Mommy! You're back" Grace jumps in her arms. "Where is aunt Lucy?" Y/n asks her daughter "She's in the kitchen. It's lunchtime!" The baby says happily.  Y/n picks up her baby girl and goes to the kitchen. "Hey Lucy, I'm back" she greets her friend "Hey mama, how was your date?" Lucy smirks at her friend "It was not a date, come on" Y/n laughs. "Mommy, what's a date?" Grace asks. "It's when two people hang out, they go to the restaurant, the cinema or the park sometimes" she answers "Like us when we play at the park?" The girl asks again "Grace, baby, a date is between two people that like each other okay? It's special and you should not date every boy or girl that asks you okay?" Lucy explained "So Mommy and Bucket are special?" She asks "No, Bucky and I are not special because it wasn't a date!" Y/n is almost annoyed. "I want to be special to Bucket! I like him" Grace shouts giggling You all laugh when your phone buzzes, you take it out. When you read the name on it your smile fades away. Lucy notices it. "What happened?" The friend questions "I need to pick this up, it's Jacob" Y/n sits Grace on the counter and goes to her room.

"Hello?" "Hey, um, it's me. It's Jacob" he responds. "What do you want?" She says harshly. "I think I've made a mistake. I talked to some people and...Christ, I was confused, I still am...but I believe you, and I want to be in our daughter's life" As he says that you receive a message, probably from Bucky. "I can't suffer anymore, and I don't want to let Grace suffer too...I don't know if I can do this" she breathes shakily "Please, I still love you, but I understand if in the meantime you found someone else, I just wanna do the right thing for her" he pleads while a sob escapes her mouth. "Let me think about it okay?" She sniffles "I'll let you know when I'm ready" she continues "Fine... You don't have to answer this...but today I saw you with a guy...is he...Uhm are you together?" He asks "It's not your business, Jacob" she is angry now. "He's dangerous, babe, he's the Winter Soldier" he says preoccupied "And you're an asshole, Bucky is not my boyfriend, and even if he was, or will ever be, it's none. of. your. goddamn. business!" Y/n hangs up and throws the phone on the bed, forgetting the message.

Taglist still open:

@capandbuckylvr​ @queen-of-elves @dark-night-sky-99 @chubby-dumplin @archangelslollipop

[orange-plum]

Sorry, I fell asleep before I could write up responses to most of the questions. I couldn’t do all of them, but I did a few:

1.  what are those little light spots around lucifer's eyes? i've been curious about them ever since I started reading the comic. i love your work, btw!

I’m assuming this is referring to the light color under his eyes? Actually, that’s just his skin. He was born with that. (God knew Lucifer would be created, so even before he was born and was to be His favorite, He had the angels paint their eyes with gold in various ways as an homage to Lucifer). So while everyone else paints their face, Lucifer’s is just his skin.

2.  how’s your sleep been lately? hope you have a nice weekend :)

Veeeeery poor. I have major insomnia rn because I’ve been thinking about some major life decisions. But when they’re resolved I’m sure I’ll get sleep again. I hope you have a nice weekend too!

3.  What inspired you to start HIC? I think you've said that it was your first story in the works before SaM

SaM came first. HiC was inspired after I attended art school. I realized I was a baby artist who still needed to learn so much. But SaM is the more popular series, and I never thought I could “out SaM” SaM lol So I created HiC only on the premise of life and death hands and a contract with a demon (since it’s in the SaM universe) with a different spin. HiC was the backburner comic to help me practice and experiment more with lighting, backgrounds, perspective, fight scenes, etc. It initially was a guinea pig comic to help make SaM’s art better. But now that it’s starting to grow it’s following base, it’s starting to stand on it’s own two feet UuU

4.  Which do you value more? Platonic or romantic Natan?

This is going to sound like a cop out, but I like both equal? I just want them to be those die hard I’d do anything for you and I love you more than anything people. Although, I do know in the story it will shift one of those ways. I can’t reveal which way yet so everything is written atm for viewer interpretation. Before, I said no one will know until the end of the series, but there will be a scene in the memory arc which will confirm one of the character’s intentions. So there’s that!

5.  What's something you wish you could tell someone but can't?

Probably that I miss being close, but life moves on so I roll with the punches. I’m not one to want to whine to people about that sort of thing.

6.  At the beginning of Satan and me did you have any idea how much you'd put into the story?

No, never. That’s a big thing that ticks me off tbh. I want to redraw and change so many things from early SaM.

7.  Fuck, marry or kill for SaM, HiC and BtA. Also, who are your favorite characters to draw in each comic?

If you’d asked this at a different point in my life, the answers would be different. But at THIS moment, here’s my reasoning.

Kill BtA, because it’s a complete series. I will never work on it again, the stories over, it’s got nothing left for me creativity wise, even tho I still like it. I just am not allowed to touch it?

Marry SaM. Because it’s been there the longest and gotten me through some tough times with reader support. It’s the most successful with a huge range of characters.

Fuck HiC because it’s the “comic on the rise” type of thing. It’s at an appealing stage to me now that some heavy plot is about to kick in. I love a lot of the characters, and, since it’s a mature comic, unlike SaM and BtA, I can do whatever I want in it. So that appeals to me a lot.

And for SaM it’s Laila, Zadkiel, Raphael, and Kristi. The hardest are, surprisingly, the two main characters!!!

For HiC it’s Aadrian and Jamie. The hardest is really a lot of the main bad guy’s kids, like Rong and Donghai and Sheng.

For BtA it’s Autumn, Serah, Hesediel, Azaria. The hardest were Michael, Gabriel, and Bo.

Thank you for all the questions!

[dominicvail]

in another world, ncis:la feeds us with actual Au episodes every now and again, but our world is imperfect and we just have to imagine this stuff here, but like, if this did happen i would Require these au’s;

A Bowling Au. Everything is played with exactly the same tone as the actual show, so it’s usually laughable but Sometimes super dramatic except instead of like, a terrorist attack, a rival team bowled a strike. Sam used to be on a super militant and well respected team and hasn’t gotten over that half the time people don’t know the name of this new one. He believes bowling balls should be polished before repacking, Every time, that Deeks just shoves his in the same reusable plastic bag he’s had for 8 years Pains him. G’s back story is Identical to the show except this isn’t a spy genre anymore so ppl just think he’s like, the super above it all edge lord because of it all. 

Teacher AU. Sam teaches all kinds of advanced math, G is a gym teacher who acts really stupid all the time to stop people giving him responsibilities he doesn’t want. Despite this, he is often dragged in to cover for language classes because somebody figured out he’s a language like, genius or something. He covered a drama class one time, too, and was scarily good at it. Deeks actually Is the drama teacher, the kids all Love him. Kensi teaches all kinds of physical design classes, like, anything to do with engines, she does woodwork, things like that, she’s not As liked among the student body (i mean, the boys and gays love her, but her jokes are Weird) but she isn’t classed as one of the asshole teachers. Eric teaches IT or whatever u call computing, he’s friendly, won’t put up with crap, but like, next to nobody understands him because he’s not good at dumbing things down. Nell doesn’t teach at first, was just an administrator dealing with all the complicated things, but sometimes substitutes, she’s tiny and Scary and is not a substitute u can walk all over, the ones who tried can’t figure out How she got them to behave??? but it happened. Mr Deeks and Ms Blye are the ‘will they or won’t they’ teacher couple of the school only for deeks to accidentally let slip that his wife is better at long distance running than he is and they all work it out that they’ve been married the whole time. Mr Beale and Miss Jones become the next will they won’t they couple except it embarrasses them so much all they do is blush at each other now. Hetty is the principal/head teacher. She is rarely seen, to be feared, but always watching. 

Star Trek AU; Hetty is the captain of the ship they’re on, but the show is more about the main away team. Is the team’s reputation as bad as section 31 (the shady(tm) part of starfleet), No! Is their reputation necessarily good? No. In fact, they frequently butt heads with section 31 (we’re calling them the equivalent of the cia in the show, they can be friends but... yeah), however their results are rarely questionable and they save many, many lives. It is highly unlikely anyone will ever be promoted. Sam is a Vulcan, calm waters... except if you make him snap, Vulcans have deep running emotions. Deeks is just. The Most Obnoxious Human to him Ever. G is half betazed, it’s why he’s so good at reading people.  Eric is a member of a species that is super social but have few social graces similar to humans so is always super awkward. Kensi has a tragic backstory where she thinks the borg got her dad when she was a kid but it was a Cover Up. I would make Nell non human also, but i will be honest, i am running out of trek aliens i can make her (klingon nell is a Hilarious concept tho). Hetty is Bajoran. 

James Bond AU. Everything is the same except they all use bad english accents the whole way through the episode. 

I am a massive fan of alternate takes on soulmate au’s, i don’t like romantic soulmate au’s, but unusual takes on them are my Jam. In this one, people have soul marks from people who will have the most profound effects on them in their lives on their bodies. This doesn’t necessarily mean the effects will be good, just profound and altering. The team realise they all have marks from each other on their bodies, and are elated to find out all those marks are Positive effects. 

Though i will admit the ‘see in colour when you meet your soulmate’ one would be hilarious with legitimately Any of the partners on the show. Kensi: See’s deeks, learns what blue is. Kensi: spirals into deep denial and yells at him a lot. 

Queer Eye AU where the Fab 5 are called in when Hetty nominates her team for a makeover! Bobby redecorates the boat shed, is asked by hetty to keep what is already bulletproof, bulletproof. And to keep the trap door. And not to worry about any bloodstains and how they got there. Tan’s discovers how hard it is to style around Sam’s muscles. Tries very hard to stop Nell from mixing prints. Experiences horror at Eric’s wardrobe, Nell is shown in BG laughing. Every single man exhibits true, actual horror at the idea of JVN changing their hair and pack into Sam’s car and run away to hide in the woods. Nell and Kensi enjoy the salon appointment in their absence. Karamo manages to negotiate getting paid literally twice his previous rate by just having to try to fix these idiots’ lives and deserves every penny. Antoni trying to teach them to make fun and not disgusting food doesn’t end well. Deeks can cook but likes to Experiment and 97% of his food is awful. Sam can cook, but it’s all bland muscle building/health food. The rest of them are incompetent, set the kitchen on fire, are caught ordering chinese on the sly, ruin 5 pots and pans with burn marks. They open the new boatshed design by interrogating a criminal they just picked up on a case, he points out how fabulous the decor is as he’s led to the interrogation room. Everybody cheers. The team provided snacks in said interrogation Could be considered a torture technique, tho. 

The team go on jeopardy. I have never seen this game show and have no idea how it works, but i bet it would be funny so it is a bullet point. 

Buffy the vampire slayer au, Kensi is a vampire slayer who Happens to just be an ncis agent. She does her normal job but also tries to keep the vampire world a secret from her team mates. Callen: uh, kensi... why do you spend so much of your free time hanging around cemeteries? Kensi: uh... Bat watching???

Superhero AU but they all have really dumb powers. Sam can raise the temperature of any body of water from a lake to a puddle by ten degrees in temperature whenever he wants. G can spontaneously grow and un-grow his hair, if he gets drunk and makes it super long he has ringlets. Deeks can hover exactly one foot in the air, no higher, is designated ‘grab that off the high shelf’ guy. Kensi can sense sugar. This helps in no ways but essentially makes her a human version of one of the medical alert dogs for diabetics. Eric can make anybody around him mildly sleepy if he wants to. He never wants this. It doesn’t even send them to sleep, they just yawn more often and that makes Him yawn more. Nell can speak to cows, since she lives in the middle of Los Angeles, this is not helpful. Plus, cows mostly just talk about grass and are really very boring. Granger could create rainbows out of thin air which was obviously in perfect sync with his personality. Hetty can detach her toes at will. This is only useful in the case of uncomfortable shoes, but can be awkward if somebody routinely searches your bag and finds them in there and arrests you for being a creepy toe cutting off serial killer. 

i would watch it, s’all i’m saying.

[cath-with-a-c]

This is the comment I woke up to on Friday morning. The amount of bigotry hiding behind the almost polite and seemingly thoughtful wording is astonishing. 

I’ve responded to it already, informing the individual behind it that I won’t be discussing the points of the comment with them, as they’ve resorted to personally attacking me, which is...dumb. I mean, attack my work all you like, it either helps me grow as an author by learning from my mistakes or as a person by growing a spine and defending my work. But coming after someone who has no connection to this and can’t defend themselves because they are no longer with us? Low and disgusting. (Also wow, they’ve taken the time to find the only truly personal post I have on tumblr, and it’s more than a month old, what a commitment to come off as pathetic, really)

Anyway, while talking to that particular individual is out of question, I still kinda wanna address the certain things in the comment because wow, my first queerphobic comment and an excuse to talk more about “Nothing and Everything”, my boys and myself? How can I pass that?

(this is like... a long-ass one... prepare yourselves)

(I’m gonna refer to the commentator as “Fox” and, probably, “them” because well, I don’t know what their preferred pronounce are)

NB! I’m using the term “queer” as an umbrella term to mean everyone who isn’t strictly straight and/or cis-gender.

Let’s start from the top

1.

The best part about slashfic writers is that when they write about child abuse, child sex abuse, and drug and alcohol abuse while including gay characters, is that they’re really writing about the lives of gay men without realizing it. To you, gay men being abused and that being the arbiter of their homosexual identity is too homophobic to fathom. But you still confirm it in subtle ways, and that always brings a smile to my face. 

Now, English isn’t my first language, so I might be missing something, but If Fox meant being the arbiter of as in defining, being the reason for, than no, it’s not homophobic. It’s just dumb. One, there isn’t a single relevant scientifically accurate study on the abuse causing someone to “turn gay”. Two - there might be a correlation (and it’s not necessary there, I’m just guessing), but the cause and effect will be the other way around, queer kids get abused more because they are queer, not become queer as the result of the abuse. And, most importantly, three - in terms of sexual orientation, you can’t turn someone queer, as well as you can’t turn someone straight. It’s something you are born with and discover as you go along. 

And also the other two queer characters, Rob and Penny, weren’t abused by their parents and/or other family members, but we will touch on that later. 

2.

“The Brotherhood had no problem with homosexuality” - Of course not, and neither do the Templars. It’s the Current Year. You can marry/have sex with whomever you want, whatever you want, whenever you want.

Ignoring the fact that this was taken out of context, and the whole phrase has a slightly different meaning, there are two things that are factually wrong with this statement. First - even in the Current Year, there is a ton of places where being openly queer is dangerous, from the countries that have “anti-gay” laws (ranging from “you can be gay, but stay quiet or go to jail” to “die a horrible death for being gay”), to certain, let’s say, traditionally oriented places in the US. Second - this is not Current Year. The bulk of the story takes place between 1998 and 2003, this phrase is taken from the chapter taking place in 2003, 16 years prior, things were, let’s say, slightly different.

Also, I don’t understand why Fox tried to make this sound sarcastic, we are talking about two societies, with one canonically being for freedom and choice and the other one relying on public favor to propel their agenda, of course, none of them will have qualms with the GRSM community, 

3.

“Honorary gay parents of a gay kid” - Well no wonder the kid is gay. Look at the environment xe/xim/xer grew up in.

I like how Fox uses the non-binary pronounces referring to Penny, when the only thing that has been said about her/them is “I’m into girls.” Also out of 16 kids on the Farm, only 3 are confirmed to be queer. They’ve all grown up in the same environment, so that statement is... meaningless. And in case Fox was referring to Rob and Des turning Penny “gay” well, they’ve also been close with Sam and he’s - what a shock - straight! So again - meaningless.

I’m gonna skip Fox shitting on my friend’s art, again - such remarks are low, pathetic and not worth discussing, let’s get to the juicy stuff. 

4.

It’s amusing, no, to have a pansexual – an individual who is attracted to ‘all genders’ - writing about gay men so much? How many genders are there? Thousands? 51? All on the spectrum? Regardless, tumblrinas are as big on their sexual identities as they are on their activism. In this case, we have a person – presumably female – getting wet over two dudes banging. I’m simply wondering if they packed enough lube and had their enemas. Maybe it was hidden in their stash?

Well, as a matter of fact - they didn’t have lube in their stashes because the only way to get it was to essentially ask one of the adults going to the city to get it for them, can you imagine a 16yo asking something like that? Death from mortification would be the most likely outcome.

Seriously though, I write what I like about whom I like. The only thing it has to do with me being pansexual is that I have more confidence in writing non-straight characters and relationships because I know it’s fine, and my queerphobic background can’t silence me anymore. Also - Desmond isn’t gay, he is bisexual. Rob is gay, true. 

The amount of genders is still up for debate, in my personal opinion it’s all on the spectrum, and the only reason gender issues don’t come out in fiction as much as sexual orientations do is that gender in a lot of cases is a more personal thing than orientation, that’ll inevitably reflect on the inter-character dynamics. A lot of genderqueer people are fine with using male or female pronounces, which to an outsider would put them in respective categories. There are, of course, androgynous people, trans people, non-binary people and others for whom gender and the perception of their gender are important in day to day life - and there are more and more stories featuring them.

Also, on the note of pansexuality - it’s not “attraction to all genders,” it’s having an attraction to the person regardless of their sex or gender, those labels play an insignificant part in me deciding to pursue a relationship. (Also also there might be like a ton of things to discuss in regards to how sexuality relates to gender identities, but not here, not now)

And yes, I’m afab, so yeah, “female” and I do “get wet over the two dudes banging”. Fox got me. Now what? Shame Fox seemingly can’t conceptualize that I “get wet” because I wrote those boys in a story that contains a hard emotional journey full of heartbreak, and I do revel in the short happy moments they’ve got together. The sexual/sensual part is hot because it’s those particular two guys, not just random two guys. 

Oh, and the last thing here - I don’t know if it’s news for Fox, but not all people in a homosexual relationship engage in anal sex. Especially teens in their first relationship. Just saying.

Let’s skip another personal attack part, here we go, sorry that the phrase is broken up

5.

she educated a pansexual SJW into confirming every negative and dirty secret in the gay community: a brutal, abusive father, societal ‘homophobia’, drug and alcohol abuse, and feeling inadequate compared to heterosexual people.

Tbh, this is the part of the comment that had me confused for a moment, as I mistook Fox for one of the “hardcore gay” people, that think that with letters added to LGBT and by putting everything on the spectrum we somehow affect negatively the “real” gay community. The next paragraph cleared this shit for me tho.

Right off the bat - SJW isn’t a dirty word, Fox shouldn’t try to sell it as one. And I won’t label myself as a SJW, because as of now, I lack the commitment to the cause. 

For the next part, I’d really, really like to quote a line from one of my fav vines “Bitch, where?” but for the sake of politeness, I’ll go with “Citation needed,” because from all of the things mentioned, the only one that is really prominent in the text is the “brutal, abusive father”. Societal homophobia isn’t exactly in the text (pay attention, teen Rob is cautious about adults being homophobic, it’s a valid fear a lot of queer teens have prior to coming out, but the general atmosphere isn’t homophobic. If I wanted it to be, adding a scene of public shame/shunning for someone caught in the act wouldn’t be hard), no drug and\or alcohol abuse (1 scene of teens trying drinks for the first time doesn’t count - surprise, teenagers try drinking), and feeling inadequate is mentioned once as a fear of a nine-year-old Penny, who has no frame of reference other than heterosexual behavior of the others, and is corrected almost immediately by Rob.

6.

Was this about Assassin’s Creed? No, not really. Despite you being a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, you don’t really respect these characters. Miles is a douchebag, it’s true, but he’s respected even by Otso Berg. That should tell you something. 

(I’d like to see an example of Fox-approved, really-about-Assassin’s-Creed fanfiction, for a future reference, but alas, they’ve commented from as guest)

Interesting how me not liking or respecting Bill, canonically abusive douchebag known for alienating people because of how cold and manipulative he is, translates into me automatically not respecting every other character in the series. 

Also, I don’t see how Otso Berg respecting William as an opponent should sway my judgment. I’ve mentioned here on my blog that I like Garnier de Naplouse as a villain - how self-assured he is, and how much quiet intelligence he has. Do I like him in general as a person? No. Do I respect him? No. He tortured people. I relished in seeing Altair murder him. 

With Bill, him being a douchebag and abuser is a deciding fact for me, I do not respect abusers, no matter how great they may be. But tbh, on the leadership front, I can’t quite decide if Bill is a fine leader given the circumstances, or if the number of instances of him being canonically shitty as a leader is big enough to call for his removal. 

7.

You crafted him into a predictable homophobic dad, albeit he isn’t Christian. I was waiting for the Bible to be thrown at Desmond.

Again - citation needed. One instance in the text of Bill being homophobic. Not abusive, not overly-demanding, but homophobic. 

(Spoiler alert - there isn’t one.)

As for the Christian associations - well, it’s in the tags. Literally. In this story, the Brotherhood is a cult, like the JWs, or the LDS church, but with Creed instead of a holy book. And I guess I succeeded in conveying the feeling.

8.

In another Tumblr post, you wrote about how William is very abusive to Desmond, and how that is inexcusable. You bring up Nikolai and putting his child out in the cold as punishment, and earlier, cited Philosophy Tube in regards to solitary confinement (which really shows a lot). How do you explore this concept?

I wonder what me citing Philosophy Tube shows, except for maybe that I find Olly to be a very pleasant narrator and that the themes he touches on are rather interesting (Olly is precious, protect Olly).

I think I was rather unsubtle with showing what exactly abuse, inflicted by Bill, did to Desmond. And not, not “turn him gay”, about that in a moment. I don’t delve like deep into what was happening in Desmond’s head because this story is from Rob’s perspective. Not Desmond’s.

This story isn’t about the relationship between Bill and Desmond. It’s about Desmond not living in a vacuum all those years on the Farm.

Write William being SO abusive he turns his son gay. You make him so homophobic Desmond reacts by engaging in self-destructive behaviour and, in turn, becoming your average gay man. Your OC, Richard, Robert is merely the bridge.

“Bitch where?!“ (c) 

1. Desmond isn’t gay. He is bi (because I’m keeping it as close to the canon as I can and I love Elijah to death). It’s in the tags, and it’s in the tags rather than stated because Desmond’s sexual orientation isn’t the point of this story, 2. Bill isn’t homophobic, at least not openly. There’s a different issue within the Brotherhood, the fact that they expect everyone born into the Brotherhood to have kids of their own. This is the source of Rob’s unease and perceiving adults as not reacting positively him or any other kid in a queer relationship.  3. If I wanted Bill to come off as homophobic, I’d portray him like that. Using slurs, for example.  4. Bill abuses Desmond not because he thinks his son is gay - he thinks his son is weak. In general. Not related to orientation. Like in the fucking canon. I’m merely turning the abuse factor up to eleven. 5. No one abused Rob, his father is shown in the text to be one of the best parents on the Farm - and Rob is gay. No one abused Penny, her family is mentioned briefly, but I specifically did it in a way that shows that they are nice - and she is a lesbian. Another boy, Colin, got abused by his strict mother - and he is straight. Desmond got abused by his father - and he is bi. There is no correlation between abuse and being queer.  6. Desmond's self-destructive behavior came from him being abused on a daily basis for most of his life and having no way out. Again, if it was linked to his orientation Rob would do that stuff too. He doesn’t.

9.

You make these characters gay because, as a ‘queer pansexual person’ you can. But you don’t really make them human. In fact, every single negative stereotype you want to protect yourselves from our oh-so-bigoted society are confirming them, while simultaneously denying that they exist.

In short, everything and everyone acted the way I expected to, and was written the way I expected a queer pansexual to write them: meaningless, with only the sexual identity taking place. Funny how that’s the only identity politics that’s allowed. Everything else is oh so bigoted.

I’m not denying the existence of the stereotype, I’m just not acknowledging it as valid, because it’s not. It’s like blaming violence on video games - you’d be hard-pressed to find a youngster who doesn’t play a semi-violent game of some kind, with blood and murder, but every time someone brings up that another shooter was playing those games, they forget to mention how many youngsters play and don’t commit murder as a result.

The same way Fox keeps bringing up the “abuse turned Desmond gay” without acknowledging that there’s a ton of straight teens that get abused worse than Desmond in this story, or the two queer kids right in the text who weren’t abused.

It’s also funny that Fox is adamantly holding to the “sexual identity” thing, despite the fact that it came up only in 5th chapter (with 4 chapters before that having nothing to do with sexual orientation) and it’s not even an identity/orientation thing. It’s the “relationship between Rob and Desmond” thing and “Desmond is clinging to as much happiness as he can because he has none” thing. The only time orientation comes up in term of identity it’s when Rob talks to Penny and thinks of himself as a closeted gay man, but it immediately switches back into the “relationship between two people” again. 

10.

You call yourself an AC fan? 

Yes. Yes, I do. Ain’t nothing some bigot on the internet can do about it ;)

(If you read this through to the end, I applaud you, thank you for your time <3)

[gwen-writes-stuff]

Secret Girlfriend

Imagine : You being old friends with Tom and you appear on his Livestream, Everyone thinks you're his secret girlfriend.

Word count : 2312

[ Note : I'm sorry but Famous! Y/N us my favorite to write. Btw, I accept requests.]

Y/N's POV

I was inside an uber watching the beautiful streets of London come into view, My plane landed and I immediately called an uber filled with excitement to meet my best friend.

We have both been away, him filming Civil War and me filming for a show under Syfy that's soon to be announced.

I was delighted to find out my best friend was Spider-Man! Heck, I'd do anything to play superhero roles. Have kids look up to you and wear cool costumes? I'm so in.

He's staying at his parents' house to my relief, I've missed Nikki, Dom and the boys. It's been a while and tho I fulfilled my dream of being an actress with Tom, we kind of drifted apart.

He was big now and famous, It's no surprise his fame will only grow bigger now that he's sure to have a solo movie.

Not long later I arrived and the sight of the house sent my heart racing, the memories I had in this house came flooding in.

I got reminded of the silly crush for Tom I formed when I was 14 and now I'm 20, I can't say I don't like him anymore.

We've called and texted each other but I never got around to ask him to FaceTime so I only ever saw his face on the internet, mostly because I'm following his Instagram and he grew up to be so fine.

I payed the driver and I glanced down at my luggage, Taking deep breaths to calm the beating of my heart I fixed my hair that was slightly messed up because of the strong wind.

I walked to the front door, Dragging my luggage behind and before I could even even knock, It opened. Paddy was grinning widely at me and he honestly looked taller than the did the last time I saw him.

"Y/N!!"He didn't even bother letting me in first and ran to hug me, he only managed to wrap his hands around my waist tho. I messed with this hair playfully.

I was chuckling loudly as I hug him back, "Paddy! Let Y/N in first." I hear Nikki scold her youngest. "I missed you too bud." I looked down at Paddy and he had the widest grin.

Eventually he let me go and I walked in, Almost forgetting about my luggage when Paddy gladly pushed it in but I laughed because he had to put in effort. It was heavy though I don't plan to stay that long.

I'm only gonna be having dinner and going to a hotel my mom booked for me, Unfortunately she's in the Bahamas with my dad but they did sent their love.

"Y/N let me get a good look at you." Nikki backed away to scan me before wrapping me in a warm hug, After she let go I turned to Dom and hugged him. “You're now a lady!”

"You've grown!" Dom exclaimed and I smiled sheepishly, "Sam, Harry, Tom get in here!" Nikki called out and I awkwardly stood in their living room waiting while Paddy curiously look at my luggage stickers.

"Is Y/N here?" I heard a familiar voice ask and before I know it I was again caged between someone's arms. That someone being Sam and it didn't help that Harry joined in, I coughed jokingly and they let go with wide eyes.

"You guys smell surprisingly pleasant." I joked and both smirked at my remark, "Easy, We might think you're getting a crush." Harry fired back and I scoffed faking offence.

"You're too young for me." I replied crossing my arms seeing the married couple watch us with genuine smiles in the corner of my eyes.

"You're only a year older." Sam replied, almost sounding like a question and I nodded.

"Exactly." Now I realised something, I looked around trying to find the only Holland who haven't greeted me yet and there I see him at the end of the staircase standing cooly.

Watching the exchange like he wasn't supposed to join in and I raised a brow, "Well someone didn't miss me.",Tom rolled his eyes and walked over to hug me tightly.

He even lifted me up a little and I slapped his back, looking over his shoulder I can see Sam and Harry make faces and I stifle a laugh.

I pulled away and Tom had grown Taller, my guess is I'm an inch shorter but I feel like he's towering over me for some reasons.

"Right. Dinner!" Paddy jumped and I frowned to check my watch,It was only 4pm.

***

I am helping Nikki in the kitchen with Paddy watching and assisting every now and then while the rest play in the living room.

That was how it went til Tom walked in to offer setting up the table, Nikki quickly shot me a look. "Y/N and Tom you set up the table." Tom nodded slowly narrowing his eyes at his mother and I noticed but thought nothing of it.

While I reached for spoons and forks I see Nikki send me a smile, a knowing smile that confused me.

"So how have you been Spidey?", I asked him while I set a few plates down the table with matching spoons and forks.

He chuckled lowly at the nickname and looked up to see I had a brow raised, "The same." He boringly replied and I rolled my eyes.

"So you're still 19 and feeling just a tad bit rebellious?" I asked with a teasing tone and he shot me a look, Glaring half-heartedly.

"I mean I'm still me. Charming and irresistible." I almost dropped the glass I was now moving and he laughed seeing the event unfold.

"I've been gone for a few years and I come back to have your head so big." I tsk'd jokingly while shaking my head.

If only he knew that's exactly how I looked at him. I was away for two years but that didn't change the way I feel about him, I thought it was for the best.

Knowing myself, I never stood a chance. His past ex-girlfriends when we were in high school are goddesses and I can't even compare, he's way hotter now so I'm saving myself the heartache.

But.

I didn't move on. Instead my feelings for him got stronger over the time I was away, I'm in for a big heartbreak!

During dinner we exchanged stories. I told them about the show I was in, It was about college students who discovered there was more to their stories, Studying in a school for magic they will learn that a man who calls himself the 'beast' is after them.

((This show actually exists, Please watch it. It's amazing. The Magicians on Syfy!))

"Tom's Spider-Man and you're a Magician?" Paddy asked with his eyes lit up like he was just told we're going to Disneyland and I nodded.

"Too bad I don't get a wand tho." Earning soft chuckles from the table. The food was great and Nikki really improved, not that her cooking was bad before.

Tom was sat next to me and I had to fight the urge to blush everytime our hands accidentally brush.

"So Y/N, Are you staying for the night?" Dom asked and I shook my head, Failing to miss Paddy pout and send his mom a pleading look which Nikki didn't need to see since her decision seems to be made in the first place.

"Why not stay with us? Your parents are away and you were gone for 2 years, stay." Nikki spoke up and there was silence.

I considered my options and nibbled on my lower lip unconciously doing so, I subtly sneaked a glance at Tom who seemed to be studying me and I gave in when he caught my eyes and he shortly nodded.

"Okay. But where will I sleep?" I practically grew up in this house so I know for a fact that the Hollands don't have a guest room. I reached for the glass of water and began to take sips when:

"In Tom's room of course." I almost spat it out and instead downed it real hard that I was a coughing mess. I can see Sam and Harry wiggle their eyebrows suggestively but I just literally drowned on a glass of water!

Tom was rubbing my back with his hand and I'm sorry but he's not helping because his touch is sending waves of electricity all over my body.

"You guys share a bed all the time?", Yes. When we were like 10 and we're both grown adults now?

"Uhh yea." I didn't bother to argue because the smile on Nikki's face suggested that I wasn't going to win anyways.

***

3rd Person's POV

The night ended awkwardly. Tom offered to sleep on the couch but Y/N insisted that it was his bed so he should sleep on it.

This went on for half an hour till Y/N made the bold move of suggesting they both sleep on the bed or not at all which ended with the two of them laying in bed, backs turned on each other with a pillow in the middle acting as a barricade.

The next morning was not any better when Tom woke up to find Y/N clinging to him in her sleep, he took pictures for leverage and slid off the bed.

Standing at the foot to stare at her for a moment noticing that she was wearing his hoodie, Y/N was too lazy to open her luggage so she digged through his closet not bothering to ask.

Tom went in the bathroom to do all he needed before starting the day. He planned to have breakfast with Y/N and contemplated waking her up.

If his memory served him right, she would throw you out the window if you even do as much as shake her to wake so instead he sat down on the space beside her, leaning against the headboard and scrolling through his Instagram.

Then an idea sparked up, he went on live to talk about the experience trying his best not to spoil any important scene in the movie. He was yelling too loud for 5 in the morning and talking animatedly sounding like a child on sugar.

While he was fanboying about rdj Y/N groaned and smacked Tom's side. "You're fucking loud." Tom was caught off guard that he forgot he was livestreaming and she got on the frame without both of their knowledge.

"Good Morning to you too sunshine." Tom cooed and Y/N laughed pushing herself up to look at Tom, "No good in the morning when you're yelling about Robert Downey Jr." She sassily remarked making Tom chuckle.

"What are you even doing anyways?" she asked trying to fix her disheveled hair and Tom shrugged, "Oh I was just live... streaming!" Tom jumped up and realized he has been broadcasting their exchange and Y/N looked up at him in horror.

Tom checked his phone to see his followers blowing up the comment section and he cursed under his breath, Turning it off without so much a goodbye.

"Shit." He muttered staring into nowhere like he was in a trance and Y/N threw a random pillow at him.

"I hate you." She was smiling nonetheless and Tom couldn't bring himself to tell her a few of what the comments said.

Did I see that right?

Tom has a girl on his bed!!

Oh no who's that?

Tangina sino yan?

Is that his girlfriend?

They look kinda cute together

She's kinds pretty

Same. Both a whole-ass mood.

Người nào?

SHE'S WEARING HIS HOODIE RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT. THEY PROBABLY DID THE MONKEY DANCE OMGOMGOMG

***

The two had breakfast like Tom had originally planned and both went to McDonald's for breakfast of all places.

It wasn't crowded and none of them had to worry about fans or paparazzis for the whole two hours they spent just eating and talking while Y/N share experiences on set with Tom who did the same.

"I so wanna play a superhero." She exclaimed, "You can be my sidekick!" Tom offered and Y/N threw a balled up napkin and threw it at his head, it landed on his forehead.

"Spider-Man doesn't have a sidekick." But she blushed at the thought of playing in a movie together with Tom.

Both practiced and took classes together so they should be comfortable enough acting around one another.

Tom pulled out his phone and poked Y/N's cheek when she seemed to be deep in thoughts. "Hey let's take a picture."

She lifted her head and nodded shortly, Tom stretched his hand to have the phone directed at their faces and Y/N threw a peace sign while Tom had his tongue out.

"Please don't tell me you're posting that." She asked with a groan and Tom smirked at her. "Tom. I look like shit."

She didn't make an effort to dress up so she threw on a sweatpants and a (favorite band) t-shirt. Her hair was everywhere and she had too little energy to put on makeup.

"You look beautiful." His comment made her heart skip a beat and she was too flustered she couldn't retort when he posted the photo on his Instagram.

@tomholland2013 uploaded a photo on Instagram :

1 user tagged : @( your ig username)

[Photo]

tomholland2013 : Breakfast with my main g✌️

Comment section :

Y/N4life : Is that seriously @(Y/IG/U)???

hollander_love : Tom's got himself a girl woot woot

harryholland64 : That's why you two disappeared!

peterparkour.s : THE GIRL FROM THE LIVE

tom.holland.fans : The girl frkm the livestre ahhh !!

y/nstagra.m : They're childhood friends✌️

tommy.hollander : I ship it.

-

[nightcoremoon]

ok so let's talk twilight. girl meets vampire. girl falls in love with vampire. vampire falls in love with girl. girl and vampire start dating. evil vampire wants to eat girl. vampire kills evil vampire.

new moon. vampire leaves girl. girl gets depressed. girl rebounds with werewolf. werewolf wants to fuck girl. werewolf realizes he's the rebound. werewolf leaves girl. girl seemingly attempts suicide. vampire learns about this and attempts suicide. girl goes to tell him she's not dead. vampire king gives a warning.

eclipse. vampire and girl are back together. evil vampire girlfriend wants revenge. evil vampire girlfriend makes evil vampire army. vampires and werewolves kill evil vampire and army. vampire king gives another warning. vampire marries girl.

breaking dawn. vampire and girl get married. and fuck. girl gets pregnant. baby will kill girl. but abortion is ~evil~. girl dies and gets turned into vampire. werewolf wants to fuck the baby vampire. vampire king shows up to kill the baby. it was a big misunderstanding lol. happily ever after except for the people who died.

that's the gist of things for anyone who doesn't remember.

ok so there's two groups of people. team edward, people who are satisfied with the canon. team jacob, people who say "fuck that, girl should be with werewolf instead". and many people on team jacob proceed to say that team edward all condone pedophilia and stalking and other terrible things. fandom wars happened. and in the end, most people moved on.

...

but not me.

now, I wasn't an obsessed super fan. I thought the first book was boring as shit until the second half. it took me a month to read the first half and three days to read the second half. I read the entire second in literally one day. the entire third in like 3 days. and the entire fourth in like 5. I watched all the movies in theaters. but none of this was by choice. my mom and my several sisters basically made me, but it was okay I guess. personally my fandom progression started with final fantasy 12. it moved into eragon, death note, jak and daxter, avatar the last airbender, invader zim, tales of symphonia, a dash of harry potter, sly cooper, my little pony friendship is magic, dead space, red vs blue, twokinds, resident evil, etc. I'm not in the twilight fandom by choice, but I know all the lore and trivia so fuck it. I might as well be.

I'm team edward.

I know what you're thinking. "but he's 100 years old trying to fuck a teenager! he watched her sleep! he almost killed her drinking her blood! he made her suicidal and depressed! he was super jealous and possessive whenever jacob was around! he broke her bones when they had sex! he impregated her with a monster baby that killed her! HE IS TEH EVILEST EVAR!!1"

let's take this one piece at a time.

1- he didn't try to fuck her. she tried to fuck him. but he said not until she's a full grown adult capable of making her own decisions, and not until marriage ~because premarital sex is wrong~

2- yeah watching her sleep was a little creepy but we can attribute that to stephenie meyer thought it was romantic because she's a dumb white mormon cultist

3- he is a VAMPIRE, and not by choice. and it was either suck the poison out of bella or let her become a vampire. which he didn't want to happen because ~being a vampire sucks 🥁~ so yeah he saved her life. and he managed to not drain her dry and kill her even though her blood is so goddamn delicious because she's a fucking mary sue

4- he didn't make her suicidal and depressed by leaving the country so she didn't get in any life threatening situations like being around jasper who has the self control of a fat kid in a twinkie factory. bella just took the breakup really really badly, and if someone reacts badly to a breakup, it's on THEM, not the other person. saying any differently is, what's the word, toxic and clingy. her emotional instability for plot is just indicative of the author's inherent misogyny (which makes sense, as dumbass mormon cultists are rife with the stuff)

5- he was not jealous and possessive. JACOB was the one who was toxic, since "that cold one will TAKE MY BELLA AWAY FROM ME". jacob wanted bella for himself because he had a crush on her since they were kids, and it was a super unhealthy obsession. edward could read his thoughts and was pissed; consider his backstory in hearing potential rapists' thoughts and killing them. but edward couldn't kill jacob because he was bella's friend. nothing more, though, and jacob fumed in his nice guy fedora

6- again, edward is a VAMPIRE, and a horny bastard at that, because he is a gentleman and therefore probably was a virgin too. he even told bella countless times that it would happen but bella thought it was #WORTH to get some of that hot vampire dick. I guess she's into some super kinky shit. no wonder 50 shades of grey made sense as a twilight fanfiction. anyway, bella seems to have fully consented, otherwise she's the world's most unreliable narrator.

7- the monster baby plot arc was propaganda against female bodily autonomy because "teh babby haz a SOUL and abortion is MURDER even tho she'll LITERALLY DIE otherwise but hey backwoods redneck mormon values are more important than the lives of women, right? anyway, ironically enough, he respected her bodily autonomy by not fixing the mistake he didn't think could happen (uterus vampires can't get pregnant but dick vampires can get other people pregnant? NANI, THE FUCK???) because bella didn't consent to him killing the fetus that was literally breaking her bones from inside since ~abortion is wrooOOoong~

and now, counterpoint.

...and counter-counterpoint.

"edward groomed bella" edward's main focus when she was 16 was to not kill her and drink the delicious cherry fanta, and his main focus at 17 was to make sure she didn't die and that nobody else killed her and drank her delicious cherry fanta, and only when she was a full ass adult was he like "alright fine you wanna marry me sooooo bad here's ur fuckin diamond ring". yeah they made out but like, consider that a FUCKING MORMON WROTE THIS BOOK. one can't fault a character for the dumbassery of the author. that's why in this house we stan james potter. and besides, a few years ago whilst playing truth or dare I at 21 was dared to kiss a 17 year old and I did- granted I didn't know he was 17 at the time but that doesn't even matter because granted edward was a lot older than 21, but granted that doesn't even matter anyways because you know how many teenage girls would make out with oscar wilde, keanu reeves, chris evans, or danny devito jason momoa if they had the chance? I know I would have. it isn't necessarily sexual unless you want it to be. besides, the argument could be made that brain development stops when you become a vampire, considering their body stops developing too. technically edward had the brain and body of a 17 year old, he was just 17 for a long time. so any way you slice it, there are acceptable explanations justifying this in the magic fantasy land of what-ifs and JUST BAD WRITING.

we good?

now let's tackle jacob.

he demanded she "choose" him over edward. he was just as childish and petty as mike. oh, poor mike. he was just too dumb. SWM be like. anyway, he literally abandoned her, his friend, because she wouldn't fuck him, when she needed her best friend the most. because that's who jacob was to her. he was her best friend. she kinda ignored him because edward is smexy and it overpowered her tiny teenage girl brain, or at least that's the author's excuse (yay for internalized misogyny). when they were in the mountains and he was keeping her from dying of hypothermia edward literally had to ask him to stop thinking about fucking her. while she was unconscious. which is kinda rapey. and then to top it all off, he wanted to fuck her baby daughter. so jacob is literally every single thing people called edward. he is jealous, possessive, creepy, obsessed with bella, and a whole bunch of other stereotypes associated with brown skinned man wanting to fuck white skinned women.

...

...

...

oh dear god.

wow I can't believe that the white woman who took an existing native american tribe and rewrote their culture to fit her vampire love story for white girls to have a sexy ~exotic~ savage feral werewolf boy in the love triangle turned out to be a racist all along.

so ideally, jacob would be the ideal partner for bella. lore-wise as well. bella and jacob grow old together in their plain regular normal human lives (and hopefully bella's face doesn't get clawed off like sam and leah BIG OOF FOR THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE), edward and tanya get married like they were supposed to do all along and gallivant off and do vampire things, all that jazz. edward isn't creepy and weird, bella isn't a magic mary sue with a magic fucking jean grey mind shield, jacob isnt an asshole.

but after reading the books and the evidence provided, I cannot in good conscience be team jacob over team edward.

thank you for your time.

fuck stephenie meyer.

and fuck all the dudebros who dog on girls for liking twilight anyways, as if dudebros don't watch and consume shitty media all the time.