#even typing feels difficult

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

[slfcare]

the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.

[ria-starstruck]

and also "putting everyone in a simulation will make it all ok 👍" and also "let's park next to this random system's sun" and also "we can't live on our own planet because of our own folly" and so on

[larentslovechaos]

the way we're gonna get to see zayn's ease and confidence as a solo performer grow just as we have with harry, louis, and niall 🥺 i couldn't be more proud of all of them

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[dykedvonte]

A crazy thing about Mouthwashing is that Pony Express lost communication with one of its freighters for months and didn’t send anyone to check.

A genuinely reputable company, or at the very least a decent one, would have sent someone, something out to check after about two weeks of silence. Two months is when the crew start questioning if they are even being looked for which implies they were already expecting it to take a while cause P.E just doesn’t care.

They don’t care about who they hire. They don’t care about the conditions they place their crew in or how safe the safety measures actually are. They just don’t care, made rules and regulations so they can care less and succeed in getting away with it with how little those ideas are discussed.

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[invinciblerodent]

ah, i'm so pleased that Neve's relationship with a Shadow Dragon Rook seems to be exactly what I was hoping it would be: knowing not each other, but of each other, working separately but based on each other's info, a friendly camaraderie from the get based on that loose, but strong thread of a connection.

i love that. they really are Shadow Dragon Besties. ❤️❤️❤️

[anonyanonymouse]

Always really surprises me and weirds me out a bit when friends care so much about a character's morals lining up with their own in order to like that character that they dull down important aspects of them

[djeesperate]

Finding Comfort

Word count: 1675

C/W: Minor Relink spoilers?, I refer to him as "Siete" instead of "Seofon" sorry, Siete being toxic, unrequited love. Inspired by the fate episode the funny blond man has in Relink.

“Isn’t that worth something?”

Siete has been mulling over his thoughts ever since his silver-haired acquaintance spoke his mind.

Id was socially awkward and struggled to understand most things that weren't combat-related. So when he expressed envy over the captain and the Eternal leader's relationship, Siete was at a loss.

“What are you doing out here?”

He snaps back to reality at the sound of their voice—speak of the devil. They stood in front of him in sleepwear, the moonlight from above making their tousled hair shine beautifully amidst the damaged deck of the Grandcypher. Siete exhaled from his nose, “Mulling over work stuff. No breaks for someone as in-demand as moi, I'm afraid.” He lied. “What about you? Thought you'd be fast asleep after the party was done. Your beauty sleep's important, y’know!”

He watched them roll their eyes, unimpressed. “I'm looking for Gawain,” of course you were, “He stepped out of the party for a bit before going back in.” So that's where you went, “Wanted to check up on him before I sleep. Have you seen him?”

“No.”

“Huh… maybe he's in the pantry. He didn't eat much after all,” you knew his eating portions now? He watched you turn back to the door and walked away without looking at him. “Whatever. Thanks anyway.”

“Hey.”

When you stopped to look back at him, it gave him just a little bit of hope. “I’m proud to be by your side. Wouldn't have chosen anyone else but you.” He said, earnestly, hoping his words would reach you this time.

It vanished the instant those wrinkles appeared, brows scrunched, eyes narrowed, those lips that made the most perfect smile pull downwards. “Ew, what was that for?”

“Ahaha… kidding~” Not one blade in his vast collection was sharp enough compared to the cut in his heart right now. If he were to be stabbed by all the swords in existence, it wouldn't hurt as much as watching your back turned, leaving him atop the ship without saying goodbye.

The alcohol tasted horrible the day after, nothing Ladiva said truly reached him. The distance he was from reality started to grow further and further—her words that once brought comfort long ago, muffled by the black abyss between them now. 

“Oh, hello, dear! It's rare to see you here.” The chime atop the door rang as someone entered.

“Trust me, I'd drop by more often if it were as empty as it is right now.” An irritating voice came from behind the blond man, footsteps coming closer to the bar. “I have no clue why that one guy insists on talking to me, but I never pictured him to be as chatty as he is.”

Ladiva laughs, leaning forward on the counter. “Oh, come now, Baal means well. He tells me you have a good voice.”

“Nonsense. The closest thing to music I've ever done was when the captain made me sing them ‘Happy Birthday’,” The knight from Dalmore took the seat next to Siete, “Barely in tune, I will add.”

“That's nice,” Poison spilled out from Siete's mouth, words laced with sarcasm as he butted into the conversation.

Yet, the man didn't notice this and raised a brow. “I don't understand. What was nice?”

He never understands, “Don’t think too hard about it, man.” Siete downs his drink, ignoring the disapproving look Ladiva was giving him. “I just say things randomly. A quirk, really.”

“I see… I suppose eccentricity is the norm in this crew,” don't make him laugh, “Thank you though, I think.”

“Don't mention it.” Siete smirks, setting his mug down before standing up to leave. “I've had my fill Ladiva~ Thanks again for everything.”

Whatever was going through her mind, Ladiva didn't say anything. The concern in her eyes was blocked out of his view—he didn't want to acknowledge that he was causing her distress.

“Ladiva, are you alright?” Gawain spoke up. He blinked in surprise when he felt Siete's hand land on his shoulder, squeezing firmly.

“You have no idea how lucky you are.” Siete looked ahead, not even sparing him a glance as he let go, leaving the knight alone and confused.

“... Is everything okay with him?” He looked at Ladiva, unsure of what he walked into.

She smiled, but Gawain could tell she was pained by something. “It's nothing, dear.” Her voice was almost inaudible, extremely saddened. “Everyone has their struggles. I hope you are doing fine, though.”

“Oh, I've been well.” He lights up, smiling genuinely, “My sister has expressed her interest in fashion to me recently. It's nice to hear her talk about it so excitedly…”

How funny, the Sun is out and summer is in, but it felt cold wherever Siete went. 

Atop a hill in a peaceful area he scouted, he sat cross-legged, leaning back on his hands as his head faced the skies. His eyes closed, allowing himself to feel the breeze of the wind and hear the rustling of the grass below him.

They were supposed to spar with him here an hour ago, but he guessed they probably cancelled on him to do other things. Again.

“They’re out with Sir Gawain’s sister.” 

Siete opens his eyes, looking at the unwanted guest. He didn't say anything, irritation showing on his face.

“... You're not thinking of killing me again, are you?”

“I wonder, Id, I wonder~”

Id frowned, continuing to stand as he looked down at the sulking mess of a man. “You're being passive-aggressive,” he noted, “Such tone is meant to convey sarcasm. Elmott taught me this.”

“Do you want a gold star?”

“Siete.”

“Just go away. I'm not in the mood to talk right now.” Siete motioned him to leave as if Id were a dog. He laid down and closed his eyes again, trying to find peace.

He heard Id sit down next to him. “You're temperamental for a leader. I wonder how the other members of the Eternals see you.”

“You can ask them yourself if you're so curious about it.”

“Why are you the way you are? Why so bothered by Sir Gawain’s relationship with the captain?” Crimson eyes studied the blond’s face. “I told you before that your bond with the captain is special. Is that really not worth anything to you?”

“Get lost.”

“I am lost. I don't understand why you're isolating yourself like this.” Id sighed in frustration.

Moments passed, and Siete spoke after contemplating his words—whether or not he should open his mouth. It's not like he enjoys being petty either, you know? But he can't help himself when he's being treated like trash. “How envious you are of me, I'm exponentially envious of him.”

“... Is that so?” Id was deep in thought. “I suppose it's comforting to know that even you can feel inadequate.”

“I'm glad you feel better about yourself.”

“You're still being sarcastic…” Id sighed. “Is there no way for me to help you at all?” He watched Siete open an eye, the teal trying to burn his red ones, “I am… Mr Fix It after all.”

“How cute,” Siete sat up, leaning closer to him. “So what's the fix for my achy breaky heart, hm? What's your million rupee solution?”

Id backs up, uncomfortable by the staredown he's receiving. “I… don't know.” He admits. “But I'd rather keep you close while finding an answer than leave you to your devices. You would sooner behead that man than face your troubles head-on.”

“Now that's a good idea.”

“That is not a good idea.” Id frowns again, “What is this obsession with murder? Aren't you supposed to be a hero of sorts?”

“It's not an obsession. It was only you.” Siete corrected, “and I was just joking, obviously.”

“Nothing is obvious with you…” Id shook his head, choosing to ignore the part where the Eternal leader admitted wanting Id dead in the past. “Always saying things with hidden meanings, always saying the opposite of what you mean. Maybe if you weren't so cryptic, the captain would've reciprocated by now.”

Siete merely laughed at the suggestion, as if it were the funniest joke ever told. Id just watched with scrutiny, trying his best to decipher his mannerisms. Siete never had a mother, but he felt as if she would've sounded like Id at this very moment.

“Then I suppose you don't want me to fix it. I'll take my leave.” The albino man moved to stand back up but stopped when he felt a hand on his wrist.

In a kneeling position, Id looked to Siete, sitting quietly staring straight ahead at absolutely nothing. He searched his eyes for some kind of meaning to this strange behaviour but found nothing. “Why are you holding my arm like it's glass?”

“...I don't know.”

“Does that mean you don't know, or you know but refuse to elaborate?” He raised his brow, patience running a little thin.

“Don't ruin the moment.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“How can you expect to woo the ladies being this dense…” Siete shook his head, sighing dramatically.

“But you're not a lady… what is happening right now…” Truth be told, the only reason Id sat back down was because his brain was working overtime trying to understand the situation he just landed himself in.

“Just stay. Please.”

Nothing more was said. No words were exchanged past that point. 

Id doesn't fully understand, but he stays anyway. Was it weird that somehow, it felt comforting? That was how he thinks the air feels. Siete doesn't seem bitter anymore and genuinely looks cheerful again (maybe he should ask Elmott what significance “moments” meant to women…).

He sighed, this man really was the most difficult to comprehend. First, he tells him to leave him alone yet now he's telling him to stay. He hasn't let go of his arm either. Id wonders if there's some case of split personality going on inside Siete's mind.

“Look, Id! It's Vyrn stuck in a pumpkin!”

“Er, that's a cloud.”

“Id…”

Who would've thought clashing personalities somehow make good friends?

[ecos-syscourse]

Okay genuinely I think some answers are unhelpful to the question, but your system might might might seem like "friends in your head" when you are in a Good Space :3

Whether that mean that you have overcome something great, or not.

When an event happened recently, everything got Fucked Up. We could no longer relate to plural and pro endo posts, but we could to the disordered and some anti endo ones. We didn't know who was in front most of the time, but we knew that we felt sick.

Everything was nauseous. What we knew to be safe was Wrong, what we trusted was Bad, who we thought was kind we found was actually someone we wish we never met in the first place.

Our fronting was messed up. You may notice that for a while everything was tagged with "Blaze | 🔥" and "Alter Soup | 🍲".

Blaze, I guess, is the protector-ish thing of our system.

We originally excused Blaze's tagging as somebody with slightly different beliefs than the rest of ours, and somebody who hated antisemitism, which was apparently quite prevalent in the community at that point. We bascially said the antisemitism thing was why he was fronting so often, which wasn't quite it. It was another thing.

As we've said before, the day syscourse begins to affect our mental health (too much) is the day we leave syscourse.

Why? Why did this happen?

Because we weren't in a good space. We were doing terribly. We still are recovering. We aren't doing great still.

We still aren't fully over it. It's not even fully done. We haven't worked through it all, and we're still going through it. It's still currently happening. But I guess we are at a point where most of us are in decision of trying to get rid of the issue. We'll get as far away as we can, and make sure we don't get anywhere near where we were again :3

We are in a better place (mentally) now, and we have a better fronting situation. No longer are our fronts suppressed pretty much >:3

We've made progress to being able to do the headspace stuff again!!! :D one of our headmates, Maril, is very active in headspace and helpful in this <3 !! :3

we are getting closer to "friends in your head" again! our brain will be a safe space. we are not our own enemy and We Can Trust Ourself.

[anxiousgaypanicking]

me when i want to accept writing commissions vs the depression thats been eating me inside and out

[nots0nu]

I should make a personal blog and a info post and pin it..but that's so much work..

[trainerethan]

In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.

Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.

She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.

Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.

Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.

He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.

As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[okayto]

I'm in a reference class right now and I just get so irrationally angry about the requirements.

Like, obviously, the purpose of the class is to make sure all the theoretically-future (or sometimes current) librarians know how to actually look things up AND verify sources AND in a wide variety of subjects and topics. Yes, good, valuable, important.

BUT I hate it so much. I hate questions that sound like they came from an alien whose best human impression comes from old chatbots: "Who is Zora Neale Hurston? What is she known for? Does Sparkle Library have any of her books?" why are you asking the first two questions if you clearly know them enough to ask the third "What's this geologic feature I saw in town? What's its history? Where is it?" can I point you to Google Maps please "What is the meaning of the word fandom?" why am I required to find you four verified resources on a dictionary definition "Can you help me find articles about this topic" yes but our professor hasn't actually given us examples of how they'd 'verify' articles so IDK if this will work even though it's literally exactly how I'd do this in my actual library job where I provide reference services to college students.